#and that was as a nanny

[stormsrbrewing]

Hey guys I know how to fix the shortage of real jobs as opposed to the fake ones companies keep posting! Just enforce all the zero-tolerance policies on discrimination. This’ll leave a huge chunk of jobs open that previously belonged to bigots and harassers and allow folks who can respect others to fill them! Hope this helps!

[sophsun1]

FRAN DRESCHER as Fran Fine

The Nanny – 3.13: An Offer She Can’t Refuse

[lonely-night]

eXCUSE ME???????????????????????

[sunlit-mess]

THE GOOFY REACTIONS:

AU by @notherpuppet

[gcballet]

Witches Abroad (1991) Terry Pratchett

[vanilla-extracter]

witches !!

[dcxdpdabbles]

Alfred: I'm afraid I don't have any open positions right now available

Danny: There isn't? But what about the ad on Gotham Job Connects saying a nanny was needed at Wayne Manor?

Alfred: I am unsure how that go on there but I can assure you, no one here put up that-

Damian: Excuse me, are you Daniel Fenton?

Danny: *Blinks down at child* Oh um yes I am.

Damian: Excellent. You're right on time for your interview. Please follow me.

Alfred: Master Damian? You put up a ad for a nanny?

Damian: That's right.

Alfred: You....want someone to care for you?

Damian: Heavens no. I'm searching for a nanny for the real child of the house. I know you're overwhelmed with the day to day duties running the household and didn't want you to have a heart attack from the stress. A professional nanny would lift the load off your shoulders.

Danny: That's so sweet that you care so much for your staff. Who's the child you want someone to help take care of? You're baby brother or sister?

Damian: My father.

Danny: .....

Alfred embarrassed: Master Damian....why would you-?

Damian: Richard says Father acts like a child, and children need minding if they make idiotic decisions too often.

Danny: .....

Alfred: I'm terrible sorry about this young man. I'll reimburse any millage you wasted driving out here.

Danny: No, it's okay. I-

Damian: The pay is fifty dollars a hour. Eighty hours every two weeks. We cover all benefits such as medical, dental, vision and auto insurance, and lodging can be provided if needed. Depending on how long we need your services I'll set up a retirement fund for you matching your bi-weekly pay.

Danny: So I would be like a in home caregiver? Most of my experience is with children but I'm sure I could handle your father.

Alfred: Master Damian!

Damian: *Hands Alfred a piece of paper*

Alfred after reading it: How soon can you start sir?

[pommedepersephone]

Watching Mary Poppins with the kids.

"MOM it's Crowley's umbrella!"

After pointing out that Mary Poppins came before Nanny Ashtoreth was employed raising the not-Antichrist, my son nods seriously and says, "Well, Crowley would like Mary Poppins. She is a witch."

Fair.

[dante-mightdie]

my take on divorced!john fancying the nanny <3

he’s not fully in the clear yet. he’s separated from husband wife, she’s fully moved out and signed over custody of their son to him. all they’re waiting on is the divorce papers to be rustled up

it’s not uncommon for him to ask you to stay for days on end, caring for his son and watching over his home when he’s away on short-term deployment. more than happy to pay whatever it costs him. always comes home to spotless house and his boy ready to greet him at the door

except this time, when the mission wrapped up earlier than expected. his flight landing in at an ungodly hour so his arrival is unknown to you. the house is dark when he gets in, dead quiet just as he expected considering how late it is in the night

his footsteps are light, even lighter once he starts tripping over toys and his son’s playpen still strewn about in the front room. he’s not used to coming home to this with you about. he’s not mad by any means, but he can definitely feel the added personal touch you’ve let lingering on his home

he finds an empty tub of ice cream on the coffee table, his ice cream to be specific. it was unopened when he left and here it sits in front of the tv with the spoon still in it.

cheeky, he thinks. he begins to wonder how much of his stuff you pinch and replace before he gets home. he’ll make sure to tease you on that in the morning, watch you fluster before he laughs and ruffles your hair. ensuring you that you can have whatever you want of his, darlin’

when he stops in the bathroom to shower, he finds your bras and panties hanging up to dry next to the medicine cabinet. he can’t help the way it makes his stomach twist in a deliciously achy way. not because of the juvenile inclination that he’s seen your undergarments

but because they’re yours, and they’re hanging up in his en-suite bathroom. makes him wonder where you’ve been sleeping for a good few seconds before he actually switches on the bedroom light and sees his covers strewn about

another secret of yours revealed to soon. you’d complained about the sofa being uncomfortable to sleep on when he was away in a passing comment. his original plan was to buy a more comfortable pull out bed for his office

but this is much better. his sweet nanny curled up in his bed, drooling into his pillows. what side do you sleep on? do you occupy the place which originally belonged to his ex-wife? or do you stuff your face into his pillows, breathing in his musky scent?

he only wishes you didn’t wash the sheets before he came home :(

he finds you in the nursery, curled up on the rocking chair with a blanket on your lap and a book hugged close to your chest. snoozing peacefully alongside his son who was dozing in his crib. he checks on the infant, pressing a kiss to his forehead before making his way to you

the book you’re reading is the one he’d left on his bedside table with his reading glasses. some non-fiction book about the Cold War he reads before bed. he tucks it under his arm before reaching down to scoop your sleeping form up from the rocking chair

the blanket once covering you slips off, pooling at his feet and it takes everything in him not to let out a groan and wake you up when he sees you sleeping in nothing over this his boxers and his old lieutenants t-shirt

the engraved ‘Price’ branding your chest is simply an omen of good things to come :)

[slayer-barbie]

I am smart enough to know I've just been insulted and sexy enough not to care.

Fran Drescher as Fran Fine in The Nanny (1993-1999)

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

#Sabrina Carpenter Channeling Her Best Fran Fine

[sophsun1]

You must know the only reason you got this job is because of your looks.

The Nanny – 4.01: Tart with Heart

[shoomlah]

Everyone saw Crowley dressed up as Nanny Ashtoreth and wondered what she'd look like as a mid-century pinup, right, all of us, not just me 😬

[happyhumannoises]

Elcor nanny loves her students - a continuation from my other elcor nanny comic

[alienzil]

Nanny Danny

“That is a whole ass baby,” was the only thought running through Lex Luthor’s head when the scientist proudly showed him the tube containing Project KR. It was not remotely the sort of thing he would normally think and most definitely not what he had expected to be thinking the first time he saw the clone.

He’d been pleased when he’d read the reports indicating the success of KR after years of failures. Lex had poured millions of dollars and literally his own blood into ensuring a clone of the alien could be made, one that would be under his total control instead of the unknown aspirations of Superman.  He’d wanted to see the fruits of his labors personally but this…

It. No, not an it. He scrunched his tiny face and smacked his lips and…did he smirk? Was that HIS SMIRK on that baby’s face?! No. No. Babies this small didn’t smile or smirk. They passed gas and their sleep deprived and addled parents mistook it for an intelligent response. He’d heard enough inane conversations in the Lexcorp office about the various progeny of his employees to pick up on that but still. This child had Kryptonian DNA, not to mention his own contribution. Surely, he was far more advanced than the dribbling potato shaped lump of an infant whose pictures he’d been forced to smile and nod over when Mark from accounting had rudely shoved them in his face at the last quarterly budget meeting. Yes, that was definitely a smirk. His, that was his smirk.

“So as you can see its growth is well within expected parameters and we’re planning to start phase one of accelerating the maturation process tomorrow once the testing is do-”

“Take him out.”

“Sir? The testing can all be accomplished while it remains in the tube. There’s no need to-”

“I said, take him out. The project is cancelled.”

“What?! Mr. Luthor you can’t!”

“I think you’ll find I can. Now get me my son.”

*****

Two years later

“Call them again”

“Sir, I’ve called them seven times. They won’t answer.”

“Then call another agency!”

“There isn’t another agency, Sir”

Lex glared at his assistant who stared back at him impassively. Mercy stood by the door staring off into the distance and pretending she didn’t notice him being bested by his own secretary.

He stopped himself from shouting again and took a deep breath before asking, “Then what, exactly, do you propose I do Mrs. Anderson? Adjust my entire schedule around naptimes? Find a toddler size lab coat and safety goggles and bring my son with me to tour the new clean energy project on Thursday? Perhaps buy a tiny business suit while I’m at it for the next board meeting?”

“I’m not suggesting anything of the sort, Mr. Luthor. I’m telling you that no childcare agency in Metropolis will return my calls anymore. Most won’t even answer.  You’ve gone through 27 nannies in the last 3 months. You need someone better suited to your son’s…special needs.”

Lex snorted. “Special needs might be a bit of understatement. He can lift a car over his head and his favorite word right now is No.”

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. “Thank you for…clarifying the situation, Marjorie. If there’s nothing else, you can leave.”

His secretary didn’t move. She looked at him like she was waiting for something and now that he was paying attention, he saw she was holding a file.  “Did you have a suggestion?”

Looking pleased with herself she responded, “Actually, yes, I did.”

“Well?”

She set the file on his desk and flipped it open. He looked down at the first page and raised an eyebrow, “What am I looking at here?”

“This,” she responded pulling out the top set of papers and spreading them out, “is the employee file and background check for Daniel J. Fenton, an intern that started in our engineering department about 4 months ago. He has one sibling, two parents and several close friends he regularly meets with. His current supervisor has nothing but good things to say about him and reports he gets along well with all his coworkers.”

She set out the next set of papers, neatly arranging them on the desk to be easily seen. “These are newspaper articles and screenshots of social media posts regarding a small town vigilante locally known as Phantom. The same small town, Mr. Fenton is from coincidentally. Also coincidentally, Phantom made his first appearance only a few weeks after Mr. Fenton was involved in a minor accident in his parent’s home laboratory when he was 14, the medical records for the incident are included.”

“Hmm,” Lex said observing several photos of Phantom and a younger Fenton arranged in order of similar poses and facial expressions and printed out side by side.

“Finally,” she said handing him the last set of papers directly, “this would be a report from the lab Mr. Fenton works in from an incident that happened yesterday. A test with a new protype went wrong and started a fire. Everyone evacuated per protocol when the alarms went off but one of the other interns was working on a programming issue off to the side of the lab while wearing headphones and didn’t hear the alarm or notice the fire. Mr. Fenton noticed his absence and returned to the lab to get him out.” She stopped talking and let him look at the last several pages in the file, a series of photographs of the lab.

“Is this ice?”

“Yes, it is. It’s several inches thick and covers half of the lab. It completely put out the fire leaving minimal damage.”

“This machine was moved?”

“It was. It was very close to the flames and would have required replacement if exposed to extreme heat or cold. That particular piece of equipment also weighs several thousand pounds and was bolted to the floor.”

Lex read through everything in detail then clasped his hands under his chin and stared at the photo of Daniel Fenton for several moments before turning back to his waiting secretary.

“Have HR send Mr. Fenton up. I’d like to offer him a promotion.”