#and that they cant defer to him all the time

[autumnfangirler]

caine and chen as acceptance through faith vs caine and ortega as acceptance through obedience

[loveinourowngrave]

the thing is. i’m a proponent of samdean starting precanon. not always but in a lot of contexts i like it. it just makes so much SENSE. the reason they act Like That in the first episode. deans constant nostalgiaing about wanting things to go back to the Way They Were Before. two teenagers kept continually isolated from the world (in terms of being unable to build lasting connections) sharing a room in a motel their whole life their only model a guy who’s excellent at blurring lines. but their age gap is 4 years that’s a lot for teenagers. immediate insane power imbalance. icl in any form of weecest sam is a victim on some level no matter how you spin it

[hoverboards-and-dragons]

We know God's view, but how do the other archangels feel about lilith

Romance is a blanket rather alien idea, so none of them really understand it enough to 'approve' of Lilith or not as a partner, so I'm going to mostly talk about how they relate to her directly

All of their feelings are built on a mutual "what the FUCK is wrong with her??" because they are ancient angels with obedience and deference carved inside their hollow bones and her favourite activity is sacrilege

Micheal - Stuck between respect for her from a leadership position and absolute appallment at her just incredible acts of blasphemy. He doesn't like humans in general, it's not personal, he respects all of Father's creations - he makes orderly things that slot together perfectly and that makes working with people difficult. He holds the least amount of resentment against her for the fall, considering Lucifer fully responsible for his own actions... when he's not racked with guilt and anger at himself.

They are mostly just two leaders of rivals kingdoms trying to out politics each other, and occasionally they have 'Respectless' moments where Michael calls her a nobody who only shit talks his Dad out of fear of her insignificance in the face of divine and she calls him a pathetic talentless Nepo baby scared of making choices

Raphael - neutral honestly, couldn't care much for the specifics the situation but Do you understand the eons they spent on that fucking Garden's ecosystem?? They are an advocate for peaceful resolution but are nearly as loyal as Michael without any of the self awareness and just, don't recognize violence committed by Heaven as real violence. So they see Lilith's threatening air and manipulative tendencies as random and uncalled for.

Just, too well meaning in the harm they cause for Lilith's trust issues to deal with.

Uriel - Was a very close friend to her pre-fall, would spent hours toying with questions and hypotheticals together, there weren't a lot of angels as curious as Uriel was. Turning her feelings of betrayal very personal when it comes to them.

They don't talk much anymore. Uriel distanced themselves from matters of Earth and Hell after the fall. Preferring to keep to the archives and stars. Sorta childhood friends where one out grew the other.

Gabriel - They want to fight her. They are very protective of humanity and she will not be interfering with her she-demonic-ness. Also on a proving themselves pursuit and 1v1ing the queen of hell seems like an effective way to do that. Michael won't let them.

Still bitter about being tricked when they were supposed on guard in Eden. (the six reminding archangels still get into huge blowout fights about who's fault(other than lucifer's) the apple incident was)

Jophiel is going to fucking throttle her brother, the things she could done with Lilith if she hadn't got banished, the potential humanity had. That was her magnum opus. Holy Shit.

In some ways they are very close, she spent nearly as much time with Joph as with Lucifer, she genuinely admires her, in others Joph cant really see past the pieces and creation that make Lilith up and she hates it. They are, very messy.

Zadkiel hates her like God does with none of His nuance as a nemesis. You would never be able to tell by talking to them or watching them interact with her, they are very reserved. Zadkiel is just like that with heretics and also really looked up to Lucifer. They want her dead but since she isn't, trusts Father must have His reasons.

Their true hostility comes out at the weirdest times.

[starmans-spacelibrary]

An ATLA book 3: Fire, episode one scene analysis !!

I cant lie the scene where Ozai welcomes Zuko home makes me sob just a teeny tiny bit because you can literally see in his face that returning doesn’t feel like it should, and as someone with a complicated relationship with their parents i feel that

(Zuko matters so much to me like i cant put it into words he is one of the most special characters in existence)

Also something i noticed straight away during my rewatch is that Ozai can never mention any kind of accomplishment of Zuko’s without bringing Azula into it,, like even when Zuko is home for the first time in three years he cannot say he is proud of him without adding “because you and your sister conquered ba sing se” and he also bases all of his praise of zuko around harming others and not a single bit of it commends his personal growth or literally anything observant at all because if he actually looked at Zuko for five seconds he would see something so far from what he preaches and i genuinely think Ozai does not possess the emotional maturity to see what is right in front of him.

Additionally, the symbolism in these scenes actually astounds me like in this short sequence theres so much to pick up on!?!?

Something small but very important is the symbolism behind this scene of Zuko kneeling before his father while Ozai officially welcomes him home.

Its such a simple scene but we can link it to so much, but mainly the scene of him kneeling before his father during the agni kai.

This also links to the fact that he still defers to his father despite everything and through that we can see that while he is so emotionally mature he isnt ready yet to fully sever ties with his father, and by extension his guilt and feelings of inadequacy because for as long as he can remember that was his whole identity and when he was faced with the big choice by Iroh i think he most definitely knew what was right, however the permanence and finality of it scared him into following Azula and his father because thats what hes always known, its FAMILIAR.

Another piece of symbolism i adored in this episode was the framing of this shot where the fire nation banner looms over Zuko, and how it represents his father and the expectations placed on him, and how he feels they are too big and overbearing.

I also noticed that when he steps forward the banner/ entrance to his fathers throne room casts a shadow on his face, which i think could be interpreted as representing how Ozai and Azula cloud his morals because he is so desperate for their approval and love.

This whole shadow archetype is also seen in how Ozai is always shown as being obscured by shadows right up until this episode and i think that was so incredibly well done.

ANYWAYS!!! If you made it this far you’re an absolute trooper and i adore you <3 thanks 4 listening to my daily rant (i know i have like 10 followers MAX but idc i love pretending i have loyal readers)

[dballzposting]

If you watch DBZ then you see that like...

We See Ttunks and Goten separately before we see them interact.

TRUNKS: He is a lively kid. He is excited to see Gohan, and thinks very highly of him. He did think that the Saiyaman outfit was cringe however. He trains with his dad. He seems to have fun being himself. He seems happy and confident.

GOTEN: ough god hes sofunny. He is VERY energetic and very loving. Partly due to age and partly due to who his father is, he is pretty thick-skulled. Definitely naive. Not a pushover, holds his own, but he does defer to Gohan's direction, trusting dearly.

GOTEN & TFUNKS INTEEACTING: immediatly we see something change in Trunks. Goten is the same but Trunks changes. I think it's becasue the expectation of the tournament changes him, hes in public, hes wearing a certain face, etc - but when he was informed that he had to fight in the Junior Division, his voice dropped an octave and he says to Goten smth to the effect of "you hear that Goten? What a load of barnicals."

It makes sense given who Trunks's parents are that he knows how to trash talk in a fight. It also makes sense that Goten didn't know what he was hearing when Trunks was spitting shit with that blond-mullet kid.

Trunks isnt even that particularly arrogant, but hes defintiely a kid who is behaving how he thinks he ought to, I.E. doing the best with what has been modeled for him.

Bless his heart - he didnt even know enough to know to go easy on Mr Satan. No one fucking tells this kid anything.

Goten has no tact or finesse. His father is a genius when it comes to battle, though he had his sloppy moments as a youth - but even accounting for that, Goten isnt the prodigy that Goku was. Unlike Goku, Goten has genuine hobbies and interests other than fighting, so he just cant dedicate all of his soul to that.

And he just lacks tact and finesse. It's becasue he's 7 but to be honest he is 100% DEFINITELY EXACTLY LIKE THAT in DBGT as well.

Goten shoots that kamehame-ha and destroys a bit of the building. Meanwhile Trunks has the foresight to Not blow up the audience with his ki blast. He also had the good sense to suggest that they stop using ki blasts. Trunks has received good training. Meanwhile Goten is out here just going for it

Trunks has a set of inner rules that hes following: he has guardrails: he has a sense of order, he understands where he is in a hierarchy, his spirit is being tamed.

His inner rules are things like: keep it cool, dont let them see you sweat, listen to your parents, have discipline and control in battle, stay resilient, stay prideful, WIN HARD, keep it cool, do what you're supposed to do; the rules for the regular folk dont apply to you becasue you're cooler; do well by yourself, earn your keep, earn your pride, be sneaky and dont get caught.

Meanwhile Goten's inner rules are more like: BE POLITE, mind your manners, always stand back up, be fair, listen to what Gohan says, live and let live, be nice to everyone unless they're mean to you, dont hesitate to defend yourself when you feel slighted.

Goten's rules foster more self-direction and intuition, whereas I feel like Trunks's rules get him all shaken up in the long run. They're less in-the-present-reality based.

When Goten walked out into the arena, he was amazed at how many people there were. Every time he won, he was bashful, and gave a bow.

When Trunks entered the tournament grounds, he slung his bag over his shoulder and walked like his father. He kept his arms crossed against all the other contestants, feeling slighted at having been placed in the junior division to begin with.

Trunks really felt that he deserved better than the Junior Division, and he wasnt wrong at all; but the fact that he saw that, felt that way, and acted on it says a lot about the sorts of values that hes growing up with.

I feel like if it was just Goten, he would have accepted that and had fun.

When Trunks gets to be with just Goten, he becomes a lot more spontaneous, eager, and happy. But he changes when the eyes are on him. At the same time, hes used to people, living in the city and being rich and all. I guess that's why he knows how to behave around them. Or maybe hes just shy like his dad.

Goten didnt know how to act in front of all those people, so he just acted like himself..

But also, Trunks isnt perfectly natural around Goten, becasue he does like to be better than him. Becasue he expects it. Becasue he ought to be. Becasue his dad tells him so. Or, rather, implies it.

BUT when Gohan asked Goten how strong Trunks was, Goten sang his praises and said that he won Every Time. But when Vegeta asked Trunks how strong Goten was, Trunks gave a modest answer, and said that they were pretty well-matched, and he explains their discrepancy likely being due to just age.

IDK. These details fascinated me two years ago when I first saw it and I still like it. It's a good show....

[kind-of-a-shitty-wizard]

hiii i got a little insane over haskills characterization in the other elder scrolls games / material. teehee rambling abt these ^ quotes under the cut (long). also im not that serious abt any of this tbh im just glad haskill appeared in any other elder scrolls material at all LOL

OKAY. okay. about these quotes. idk why other TES media does this, but in these quotes from elder scrolls legends + the interview with haskill it seems like the writers are pushing to give the impression that haskill slightly resents or is even indifferent to his position / the isles / sheogorath ?? (unless haskill is being a little bit more flippant or hyperbolic than usual...?) which is characterization that is NOT what i got from playing oblivion at all skdskdjfn

like... when i played oblivion i thought it was very clear that haskill prefers to be in the isles, serving sheogorath, more than anywhere else. (<- i think this is actually the reason he's technically "mad" even tho he seems sane outwardly. if you enjoy being among madmen it probably means you're mad yourself ykwim). i think haskill does like the isles, his ass is just reserved abt it, like he is about everything... yknow just like jeeves, whose character he's been compared to lmao:)

i think unfortunately some writers take his annoyance with the player and his slight second thoughts about sheogorath's plan in oblivion, and mistakenly assume that he's just annoyed at his whole position. haskill does have his moments of exasperation, but the thing is it's usually only exasperation and it never verges into anger or bitterness or resentment like the top quotes seem to indicate. for example, haskill says this abt his idea of you mantling sheo / the clowns debacle:

^ This quote is a good reference point for haskill's view on sheo bc its pretty much the most critical-of-sheogorath quote from oblivion i can recall, and it tells us a lot of things. in this quote he expresses some exasperation about the clown idea (because he's a prissy bitch who doesn't want to get his outfit dirty /affectionate) and shows some apprehension about one of his lord's ideas (because it involves you, and haskill doesnt like you). but these 2 points he has beef with aren't really reflective of sheo himself but of other issues - ie he doesn't directly question sheogorath. and IN THE END Haskill defers to sheo's judgement because haskill trusts him and values sheo's ideas. in all of his oblivion dialogue, this is the most critical toward sheogorath he gets, and he never outright insults or shows resentment toward him or the isles like in the above quotes bc his loyalty to sheogorath eclipses it

on the contrary (and i dont know why the writers for non-oblivion elder scrolls content dont seem to see this??), theres so much evidence that haskill actually does, you know,,, enjoy being in the isles. here are just some snippets i can think of:

"the isles are hardly a place for anyone, really" <- i BEG to differ, Haskill likes it here, he likes listening to prisoners being tortured in xedillian, he likes wearing his ridiculous frilly high collar outfit emblematic of the fashions of the isles, he doesn't care about morality and it suits him just fine that it doesn't matter here!! (the end quote might be him being a little facetious about relmyna but to be honest i wouldn't be surprised if he thought decency and morality WERE provincial notions because he certainly has no problem killing people lmao). and again, to enjoy doing these things / being around madmen probably says something abt haskill being mad himself. lol

not to mention he likes a bit of joking around. which i imagine sheo does a whole lot. when YOU rib him a little he says this:

his derision in the first bit i think indicates, "i cant believe you would joke around at a time like this," and the upturning of the "very good" i think indicates, "it was a good joke / maybe they could mantle sheo after all". he's not all dour - he appreciates a good joke, especially from (someone who's about to become) his Lord!!

and going a little deeper into haskill actually liking the isles... haskill clearly holds what sheogorath and the isles represent (chaos, free will, individuality) very highly. a good example of this is when you ask him about dyus, and he gives this snarky reply:

^ he says this with such VITRIOL its so funny :p and the amount of disdain in this line indicates (to me) a real conviction in his belief in the free will, chaos etc that sheogorath represents.

this is why i dont think this quote makes sense. "i cant remember why i put up with [sheogorath]" <- haskill wouldnt say this bc he understands fully why he puts up w sheogorath, and his own convictions in sheo that lead him to keep doing it, and even if this quote is him being hyperbolic, i dont think he'd joke about his faith in sheogorath like that because, yk, one of his characteristics is that he's extremely loyal, and moreover he never said anything to this effect in oblivion sdkjskdjs

him having a strong belief in what sheogorath / the isles represent is also evidenced by the language haskill uses when talking about sheo. whenever haskill mentions him, there is an element of poetry and respect to his words that shows that haskill thinks about him highly at the very least:

^ haskill constantly stresses sheogorath's intrinsic unknowableness and power and unique wisdom in a way that feels very respectful. saying "to attempt to fathom [sheogorath's will] is a foolish endeavor" shows that he knows there are unexplainable aspects to sheogorath that he takes note of, respects, and knowingly keeps his distance from... he gets sheogorath and reveres him (at least more than most others or the HoK). in these quotes especially, it feels a bit like hes trying to illustrate how impressive sheogorath is to the HoK, hyping up his boyfriend if you would. who said that. and combined with this respect is (i believe!!!!) a deep care. he is invested in the isles and sheo and wants to help them out of more than just duty. he gets fearful and even loses his composure at some points in the story when sheo/the isles are threatened which i think indicates that he deeply cares for them both!!:

i think this is a care that, combined with the respect he has for sheo, makes it really unlikely for him to get more than exasperated with his behavior and verge into resentfulness. i dont think anyone truly understands sheogorath, not even haskill, but haskill respects sheo as a god, and also gets him in a more familiar/personal way i think - like the way that a cat owner loves their cat but gets exasperated with it when it gets its head stuck in a tissue box. he doesn't angry or anything because he understands that it's the cat's nature to get stuck in the tissue box / sheo's nature to be wild and unpredictable and messy. (the difference being that sheogorath is an all-powerful god cat..... do u see my vision???)

anyway this got crazy long JHDSHFSD... to finish i wanted to look at this extra bit of characterization i found that was wild to me:

^ like. i truly dont get where they got THIS characterization LMAO sheo constantly calls haskill faithful and smart and knowledgeable in oblivion, he practically begs you to summon haskill for help, hyping up his boyfriend so to speak, they care for each other your honor so of COURSE sheo trusts haskill to do his job. what are the legends writers doing in there!!

ANYWAY dear god this got long im going to bed <3

[desalvar]

god is not the only one that can create life . ((Unethical and sarcastically blasphemous moment for futuristic verse)) // @vilestblood

   It's the type of cocksure, impudent statement that usually makes him laugh. For the pictorial irony and then some. He can sort of see the effort - high in the heavens as he is, up atop a presumptiously tall spire lined with long, thin windows that facilitate view of the pitiful shitstain city below with pride of superiority and presumed mandatory finger-steepling, faced with a commitee desk's worth of light-limned, pristine, state-of-the-art clean creatures making faces at him. Whatever final frontier the economically superlative have made free to go and chase, their clamoring's evident from where he's sat. He'd find it funny if that didn't render his predicament some perverse equivalent of judgement day.

   All in all, though, the interview's going well.

   "Implication being that you're even better at it?" He keeps his tone astutely removed from humor just enough to avoid insult. Creation of life suggests a preceding lackthereof. All Cainhurst Co. is doing is fixing egregious errors. Valiant of them, regardless, and he doesn't knock the effort in front of their very own representative. Not when that subtle slip of cupid-bowed smile across from him suggests it all moot point. This isn't a useless show of peacocking. It's a test of his sensibilities.. And maybe his politeness.

  "I'm more interested in the business of perfecting life," he says, sidestepping both. Sniping back, as they've been doing for some fair few minutes now. Minding neither time nor onlookers interviewers, nor tongue ( not where it matters anyway ). His fingers are twined beneath his chin, body canted forward, eyes pinned firm onto the iciest natural blue he's ever seen. Antonín Cainhurst is the most interesting thing in that room. "Godly enough in its own right.. and with results in the sphere already evidently divine." Nikodemus looks at him when he says it, a twofold-threefold-fourfold layered flattery. Tall, pale, devastatingly beautiful and imperious, the man across from him would suit godhood rather handsomely. And he's always been good at deference to the forces that be, hasn't he.. For a time.

   "Would that make me priest in your religion? - on the topic of positions." There's a peg below that, he's sure, called worshipper or disciple or sheep, where the newly converted begin. But his deference has scarsely ever meant obedience, only abidance. "Or maybe saint?" And even that, not for long. He allows himself a smile. "Demigod?"

[brandwhorestarscream]

funky tfp au

winglord starscream, but he has to look after his trine, the coneheads, rainmakers, AND the twins like a tired angry mexican mom

the first time he wakes skyquake up he drags him by the wings like a disobedient sparkling all the while yelling at him in very colorful vosian that would make unicron blush.

he is very protective of his seekers, they respect him more than they respect megatron (except dreadwing lol, but he joins in later)

I love everything about this. This means that Starscream was crowned Winglord before Vos fell, and I love that for him. He's had to contend with leading the seekers throughout the entirety of the war, on top of dealing with Megatron and the autobots. No wonder he's Tired™

The seekers defer to his judgement and follow him loyally, similar to the way they did in Cyberverse. Sometimes he'll go off in little rants in Vosian seeker cant if they needle him too much, and it's all fun and games until someone gets whacked with whatever the cybertronian version of la chancla is 😂

[nicklloydnow]

Illustration by @tsugacanadensis

“He smiled, his great teeth shone. He drank.

An event, a ceremony. The orchestration thereof. The overture carries certain marks of decisiveness. It includes the slaying of a large bear. The evening's progress will not appear strange or unusual even to those who question the rightness of the events so ordered.

A ceremony then. One could well argue that there are not categories of no ceremony but only ceremonies of greater or lesser degree and deferring to this argument we will say that this is a ceremony of a certain magnitude perhaps more commonly called a ritual. A ritual includes the letting of blood. Rituals which fail in this requirement are but mock rituals. Here every man knows the false at once. Never doubt it. That feeling in the breast that evokes a child's memory of loneliness such as when the others have gone and only the game is left with its solitary participant. A solitary game, without opponent. Where only the rules are at hazard. Dont look away. We are not speaking in mysteries. You of all men are no stranger to that feeling, the emptiness and the despair. It is that which we take arms against, is it not? Is not blood the tempering agent in the mortar which bonds? The judge leaned closer. What do you think death is, man? Of whom do we speak when we speak of a man who was and is not? Are these blind riddles, or are they not some part of every man's jurisdiction? What is death if not an agency? And whom does he intend toward? Look at me.

I dont like craziness.

Nor I. Nor I. Bear with me. Look at them now. Pick a man, any man. That man there. See him. That man hatless. You know his opinion of the world. You can read it in his face, in his stance. Yet his complaint that a man's life is no bargain masks the actual case with him. Which is that men will not do as he wishes them to. Have never done, never will do. That's the way of things with him and his life is so balked about by difficulty and become so altered of its intended architecture that he is little more than a walking hovel hardly fit to house the human spirit at all. Can he say, such a man, that there is no malign thing set against him? That there is no power and no force and no cause? What manner of heretic could doubt agency and claimant alike? Can he believe that the wreckage of his existence is unentailed? No liens, no creditors? That gods of vengeance and of compassion alike lie sleeping in their crypt and whether our cries are for an accounting or for the destruction of the ledgers altogether they must evoke only the same silence and that it is this silence which will prevail? To whom is he talking, man? Cant you see him?

The man was indeed muttering to himself and peering balefully about the room wherein it seemed there was no friend to him.

A man seeks his own destiny and no other, said the judge. Will or nill. Any man who could discover his own fate and elect therefore some opposite course could only come at last to that selfsame reckoning at the same appointed time, for each man's destiny is as large as the world he inhabits and contains within it all opposites as well. This desert upon which so many have been broken is vast and calls for largeness of heart but it is also ultimately empty. It is hard, it is barren. Its very nature is stone.

He poured the tumbler full. Drink up, he said. The world goes on. We have dancing nightly and this night is no exception. The straight and the winding way are one and now that you are here what do the years count since last we two met together? Men's memories are uncertain and the past that was differs little from the past that was not.”

[dragonballwish]

hi do you have Krillin relationship headcanons? canon or otherwise? 👀👀👀👀

I will be honest with you, anon. I don't often think on it these days. HOWEVER!!!! for you, I have,,,, formulated a response i think mostly encapsulates my feelings on the matter.

Krillin is, by far, the most lovable character of all of dragon ball. objectively, even. He is cute, nice, and very self-sacrificing. Every one of his friends has probably seen this trait and agreed that krillin is worth protecting and loving. etc etc.

That being said!!!!! i think krillin inserts veeerry nicely with very many ships, most being non-canon, obvi. The only krillin ships i actively ship are k18, a lil sprinkle of gokrill, and some latenight thoughts of bulkrill (?) bulma and krillin. whatever their shipname is.

that being said, krillin is one of those characters that when i see crackships and such with him its more like a pleasant surprise because he's usually overlooked. i think he deserves some crackship au fics and fanarts sometimes....

anyways. getting into it. here are some thoughts i have... and some ship stuff.

Krillin's love languages are probably acts of service and physical touch. When he receives an act of service, he is so deeply touched to the bottom of his heart that he probably cant help but feel a little indebted, no matter how that gift or service was intended.

on that note, he is just genuinely kind, so he will give out services out of the kindness of his heart. when others see that genuine kindness, that is what pulls them in.

he is not immune to bickering and playing and fighting. teasing back and forth is in his nature, no matter if he ends up the butt of a joke LMAO. i don't think he really minds.

Goku

goku is someone he met as a young teen and they bonded after a brief rivalry while studying under the same master, and they became quick best friends after experiencing the same hardships in their training. this is literally the setup to every #1 shounen m/m ship I've seen. literally. rivals to best friends to lovers is IT for everyone ever. i think people should take a gander at og db and really get a wholesome view of the trope. because krillin and goku both have so much kindness to go around its just them bouncing off encouragement and some dumbassery back and forth.

Bulma

bulma is another early teens friend, and they have truly been on many adventures together. I think the filler in namek saga kinda turned me off from it a bit, but without all of that, i really just think about how they were able to spend so much time together in an enclosed space and not kill each other? i think some married couples cant do that. they would make a good duo in that sense for sure.

it helps that they have a VERY established dynamic of bulma taking the lead and krillin following and helping, and taking action where necessary. they have a long history together and know when to defer to the other, yahknow?

18

well,, k18 is canon and it gives us a pretty solid amount of information about their dynamic as a couple that i really like. 18 fell in love with krillin's kindness, and krillin opened his heart to a former enemy and gave them a home and a place to belong. genuinely you cant tell me this isn't the best canon ship in dragon ball. i wont believe it and i wont trust any of your opinions if you don't think they're objectively the best least toxic family unit.

one of my silly little headcanons is that they actually had a lot of trouble conceiving, so they cherish little marron like she is the whole world. because she is, as all parents should, but when you spend years trying for a baby and finally get some fruit,,, idk its a little different.

honorable mention: yamcha

that moment in the saiyan saga, when yamcha lies down his life because krillin has already died previously... that is so huge to me.

thank you for asking, anon! sorry for this long, drawn out, rambly..... etc! answer. i hope you enjoy at least some of it LOLLL

[itsartistpending]

The Vision (2015)

General Watered Down Plot:  *Spoilers Ahead*

The series opens with the next door neighbors bickering as to whether or not the Visions would eat the cookies made for them. We discover Vision has this new family full of other synthezoids who look just like him. Virginia is his wife and they have two children named Victor and Vivian. They appear to live the normal domestic life style and even acquire a synthezoid dog named Sparky through the series. However, through the series it becomes even more clear that things are not normal as the tone can be felt though the art style alone. The way they are depicted with black hole eyes adds a sense of uncanniness to them. This series is riddled with death and has very ominous undertones about mortality and what makes someone real. 

(Issue 1)

*A SMALL DISCLAIMER*

In full honestly it has been a long while since i read and completed this series so my memory is not the best. Thanks for bearing with me. 

What is Really Going On:

It is very evident that this story is about what is considered normal. It is easy to look at the surface level and say that robots/ synthezoids cant be have similar experiences to humans. All of us would assume that since we have not had interactions with synthezoids and this is purely in a fictional world. So if we take the idea from this series and apply it to our world, I think this story is trying to warn us that life is fleeting and there is no point isolating others or yourself from what life has to offer. To me it also seems to be saying to embrace what makes you different (a bit cliche I know).  

Victor & Viv:

Victor and Viv have one of the most classic high school experiences. They are considered outcasts and have a hard time making friends. Victor and Viv both fit into two very classic high school stereotypes. Victor is the quite outcasts who gets bullied for existing all while just trying to make it through the day. Viv is the studious shy girl who tries so very hard to please every single person around her. 

*To fairly analyze this Im going to break it down and separate Viv and Victor* 

Victor:

It can be seen so much through the series that Victor is a cautious young boy trying his best to figure out his place in the world, especially in a world that despises him. On the first day of school, Victor askes Viv if he is normal. Her response is to say that Vision told them to remain ordinary. Victor is confused and questions if being ordinary makes him normal. Through the series Victor is constantly trying to figure out how to be normal. He is confused as he does everything a normal kid his age does. He likes football, does his homework, goes to school everyday, he has his own likes and dislikes yet all of that isnt making him ‘normal’ to others. He struggles with this through the entirety of the series. 

(Issue 1)

Much later in the series, the children meet their uncle and Victor walks in on something he isnt supposed to see. His uncle is working with the Avengers and reporting in on the family. Victor is confused and his uncle (either accidently or not) uses his electric powers on Victor. The whole time his uncle is telling him to stop resisting while Victor is crying out for his dad to save him. eventually everything comes to a stop and for a brief moment if seems like Victor might be ok. A few moments later he is dead and in the arms of his father and mother, he is a synthezoid after all.

Victors want to fit in and be normal, lead to his death. One could argue, Victor was normal and can be proven in his final moments. Victor had the curiosity that drove him to discover what his uncle was up to. Isnt curiosity a natural human state? Would him feeling curiosity make him normal? His deference to what was considered ‘normal’ in that world lead to him and his family being stalked and watched and his own death. The world could not accept him and choose to kill him rather then learn from him. 

(Issue 9)

One thing that summarizes up Victors life would be this classic quote from Cicero, “They condemn what they do not understand”. 

Viv:

Viv has quite similar experiences to Victor in the way that she isnt considered normal. The only difference is that she chooses not to dwell on it and carry about her life as best as possible. Viv is also quite clearly a people pleaser. She does her best to seem and act as ordinary as possible to live up to her fathers requests. She never makes any noise or causes any issues. One day as she is walking to class a kid stops her and she braces for another rude comment but this kid actually just wants to get to know her and leaves the convo by saying that he thinks she is pretty cool despite what others may think. She obviously feels validated and warmed by another person approving of her. She had gotten so used to rejection that she did not expect anyone to ever think more of her then just some fancy looking robot. Unfortunately her world came crashing down when this kid was killed (read Virginias section to know more) in a freak accident. The only person in the world, outside of her family, who had accepted her was now gone and she felt like she was to blame for it in some weird way.

There is a common theme with Viv through this series. This series is riddled with death and murder of all kinds by so many different people. Because of this, Viv becomes almost accustomed to it and thinks it is just apart of her life. the world will try and kill her just for existing so why should she give any energy back into the world that hates her. To me she is the embodiment of paralyzing fear and pain. She is so sacred and afraid of the world that wont take more then 2 seconds to judge her that she becomes emotionless to it. This is seen later in the Champions series. However, it is through this that she realizes that she is not normal, she never was and never will be. There will always be people who judge her in the world but she knows she cant change their mind. As shown to her once before, there are some people who will like her for who she is and she has to choose to put her energy into them. 

(Issue 12)

Viv's personal journey continues with Champions as that is the team she chooses to join after leaving Vision behind.

Virginia:

Virginia is quite a complex character in this series and one could argue that this entire series is mainly about Virginia. She is a housewife and has the typical housewife duties except there is no need for those since they are are synthezoids. there is no need to cook, clean, take care of children or a home. So Virginia struggles with her sense of identity very aggressively through this series. She, like everyone else in the series, wishes to be normal and blend in as best as possible into a town that will not welcome her. In the entire 12 issue run she kills 3 people and their dog. Of the 3 people she kills, 2 of them were children. Then first kid she killed was vandalizing their home. She grabbed him through the wall and he was dead. The next one was on accident. She had gone to the home of a parent threatening their family. Little did she know this was the father of the only friend Viv had. His father tried to shoot her but she phased and it hit his son instead. Virginia killed sparky in a fit of rage after the death of victor. Lastly, Virginia killed Victor Mancha (vision’s technical brother) in revenge for her son.

I think Virginia represents the extreme need to protect and defend. She tries so hard to stand up for her family but every single time she does, it backfires only making them look worse. In the end, her ideas of trying to help their image just ends up leaving a long line or red behind them.

It all comes to a head for her with the death of her son. She is too angry to do anything other then retaliate the only way she has known how through the entire story. The man responsible for the death of her son does not live much longer. Virginia then has to face the wrath of Viv for not doing good enough. Vision is gone with no explanation, her daughter is furious with her and her son his dead. Virginia, unable to bear it any longer, ends her life.

(Issue 12)

Virginia struggled with her sense of identity through the entire run. Isn't that a core experience that many "normal" people go through as well? Sure she did plenty of horrible things but she did it to protect her family. She struggled with her identity in a much different sense then ay other characters in this story. She is supposed to care and provide for her children as she is programmed to be a mother. However, her children do not need her like that since there aren't many "normal" house chores or family duties for her to attend to. Is it really fair to blame her for her spiral? Couldn't it be argued that all the things she did (barring death) were normal ?

Vision:

In my opinion, Vision is the real enemy through the series. He created this family in the aftermath of him and Wanda's relationship dissolving so he could have a family that understood him. He created his daughter, son and wife all in his image. They of all things would understand him and get him. He was the one from the very beginning of the story who told his whole family to be as ordinary as possible. he placed all this pressure on his family because he was tired of being seen as unusual himself.

(Issue 1)

Vision had the chance to give his family the lessons he had learned through his years and let them live on their own and experience the world for themselves. Instead, he made sure that they knew the world was already unaccepting of them placing all this fear in them. Vision couldn't live with himself so he made more of him to share his sorrow with. He made sure that they would never be normal.

Personal Takes-Aways:

Personally I think this store has a very intricate and deep meaning that I'm not even fully capable of comprehending. The one thing that seems to stick out to me though is Visions role. He created his family and was the one instilling them with fear and pressure to confirm and be normal from the very beginning. This is something seen in our lives very often. In the real world, we are often faced with the judgment of others and feel the need to conform to what is considered "normal" by society. This has long lasting damaging effects on everyone. Those effects are shown quite dramatically in this series. Viv runs away and keeps everything repressed. She becomes a stone cold individual who doesn't form connections (though she changes through champions). Virginia acts out in anger and ends up ending her own life which, is unfortunately something that many people in real life do who feel this pressure to great extremes. Victor was harmed through his pursuit of being normal. In the end, Vision, the one pressuring all of them, is left alone.

Overall Review and Rating:

Overall, i give this tory 5 stars. This story has its place in fame for a reason. I do encourage everyone to read it just know there is a lot of violence and it is a dark story. The story and art is supposed to be unsettling so take that as your warning. This is a story that doesn't need much pre-reading in order to understand what is going on as almost all of the context is given in flashbacks. The only context not given is how Vision and Victor Mancha are related but that can be rendered with a quick google search.

I know this review was super long compared to what i usually write but this story is deserving of such an analysis bad one even greater then what this is.

As always discussion is welcomed in the comments, my asks or my dms!

[oddly-casual]

Cant stop thinking about how Donnie feels different from his brothers always and not just because of his interest in tech, but the way he communicates and expresses himself. The fact that he knows he’s much different than the rest of them and that affects the way he attempts to be perceived by others. Donnie hasn’t forced himself to change, so does that mean he assumes the others will have to stay and like him if he builds things constantly?

Cant stop thinking about how Leo knows he’s different from the others because he feels he doesn’t have a solid title to defer to when talking about his family, because not fitting into a box means that he must not fit in at all right? Bogging down his own potential because he fears failing the people he loves most.

Cant stop thinking about April, who thinks of herself as a failure (thoughts of self doubt don’t just go away), who’s made friend and seen things a ‘regular’ person would never see or understand in their life time. Who is ‘normal’ compared to her brothers but too weird to relate to everyday people. Who doesn’t consider herself part of the family either because she just doesn’t feel she belongs or because she’s not related by blood. Who tries hard to make friends and fit in with other people at school but can’t because there’s just something different and ‘strange’ about her that people recognize but never say, so April doesn’t know what it is. This feeling like something about her is wrong but she can’t place what it is.

Cant stop thinking about how Mikey doesn’t feel like an equal in his own family at times, because him being the babyest brother means that he obviously can’t do anything by himself and he obviously can’t protect himself alone. Even by Donnie, who Mikey hangs out with a lot, proves he’s not immune to putting Mikey’s well being over his own (even making a suit to prevent injuries- making Mikey feel like Donnie perceives him as reckless or unable to keep himself safe).

Cant stop thinking about Raph either. How he made his first priority always taking care and watching over his family, no doubt being the primary responsible one among the four made him a ‘kill joy’ or a ‘bad guy’ in his brothers eyes. With his brothers being kids and growing up never fully aware of the childhood Raph didn’t get to fully experience because he had priorities and believing that Raph is always the killer of fun. With Raph feeling the distance between not just him and his brothers, but his own father who never sought Raph out on his own.

I just can’t stop thinking

[the-firebird69]

Voters in two more states want Trump ruled ineligible to run (msn.com)

trump has admitted he voilated the constitution and tehrore is not alid candidate he no longer qualiifies . yet there is a question as to wether the findings o a court of law is sufficient to oust a prssident and the answer is probably not. and the suits are brought by smaller entities. the whole issue who can say it was an insrurection. if not a court who. and it is thn brought to congress and th senate that is who. turmp has said it and then the ohter day no you cant do it wiht courts. and the senat and congrss did the jan 6th report and investigation. and found it was possibly a planned insurection and deerred to a court and the federal court they now defer and in writing from the supreme cour in dc back to the houses and of theusa senate an cogress not for shelter but for proper handling and procedure and to obey the united states consitution. the framework of this society says no goup or band of the shall prohibit one from runnig onlly duly apponted members of ht senata and congres sshall hve that power. nd our son said it many times. the jan 6th committee stalled out and they go around the long way. and he heard it several times today we think and ok. he says this we hav the seats. and no were an ass and then oh. this sucks.

the senate and congress recieved it this am. and wrote back we cnofer and will send you notice of our findings but we feel strongly you are correct. and it was handed down to the federal courts and they have yet to act and they were right not to we think. we shall examine it and contact you. and it does not say the senate and congress have to try him, but they do have that as a responsiblity in cases such as this uusally however they federal court may and hand out the jdugment and the houses decide on the action. but it is contintutional law however upheld by all courts of th eland. and it does not say they are to hold the trial. only decide. and the questoni was there an insurrectin and the jan 6 comittee was assigned to anser that. and did not. they contacted a few consitutional law professial attorneys who said eithr way. one said you sherk it why. and we know why. no. and they said this. in court it is different less politics and they seek out if it is a crime and they began it saying no you should. and then this. they can but it is out of the norm. and referenced senators who were remvoed form theri seats and presidents. and all by the senate and congress. and i t is important it would give the court power over the exxecutive branch and extend the legislaive enforcment law enforement branches. and tons see it we pubish

Thor Freya and do not act out of hate it is bad act out of concern for the pupulace. and they push lots do for cops to be too pushy and all see it

Olympus we do this now and they two added some too yes and Zues Hera taht is

[dballzposting]

Watching this over and over again in awe and deference

- Yajirobe with his arms crossed and foot up on the thing just tossing him the beans like hes the coolest man in the world.

- Why? I can't track his thinking. I cant parse his precise motivations. He wanted to look cool for the kid? He wanted to make sure that Goku got those beans? Does he care? Does he actually care? That's beautiful. Where does he get off siding with the side of good like that? Does he care about having friends? Is is just becasue Goku is a crazy and beautiful bastard? Hes gotta respect it when he sees it? What it probably is is that Yajirobe generally acts with conviction and he cuts through farces with his katana. Hes stone honest. And he knew that Gohan was gonna leave with those beans anyway. So might as well cut to the chase

- KORIN GOT ON HIS CASE IMMEDIATELY. And Yajirobe CUTS HIM OFF TO SAY: AND THIS IS REALLY WHAT HE SAYS: "I'm the Bean Daddy this time, Bean Daddy!" That was his best rebuttal. That's what he cut Korin off with. Why was that his best work? Why was that important to him or anyone?

- Did you catch that. He called Korin "Bean Daddy" as a direct address, after titling himself the Bean Daddy. Why is ANYONE the Bean Daddy ?!?!?!?! Oh he's just saying shit now! Is that what you do up there? You just say shit?

- Why is this important to him? Why does he need to be the Bean Daddy "this time"? Maybe because it gets boring up there and the only excitement is when you get to be the one to hand people beans? Why is it said like it's a real title that they should get to share the privileges of, and that this time, justice calls for Yajirobe to be the Bean Daddy? What are the rules on that?

- Well Yajirobe did water them.

- Korin like all hermits is such a nasty crazy bitch. Oh you just come BARGING IN HERE unannounced? And now you want senzu beans? Well what exactly did you bring for ME? <- he behaves in this manner to teach young warriors manners and honor. This approach has never worked on that possum Yajirobe however

- Yajirobe is like "Quit messing with him you were gonna give him the beans anyway!" becasue he has laser vision and he can see theough Korin's old hermit Bullshit and he knows Korin well and he knew that he was gonna give him the beans.

- THE WAY KORIN YELLS BACK ... "STOP... IT WAS- YOU SHUT UP." So sloppy so award-winning. Old wise hermit cat who is a crazy bitch tells Yajirobe to shut up on screen. Hes not too good to have a sloppy messy roommate whom he yells "SHUT UP" to

- Complete and utter dick move by Yajirobe to swipe Korin's one (1) bean and give that to Gohan too. Actually not a dick move at all but just a display of the golden chops he's had since his debut. And Gohan needs the bean more anyway.

- "Why on Earth do I let you live up here" "I dunno beats the heck out of me" DIALOGUE TO BE EXPECTED I SUPPOSE BUT... i mean we all know why why he lets him live up there right. It's becasue hes an old hermit cat and it's his duty to foster virtue and discourage evil and Yajirobe since day 1 has offered a unique challenge becasue hes not bad but hes not all too good either. And he has a fine heart and has behaved virtuously when needed, and that really counts for something. Korin just doesnt have it in him to dispel something that isnt truly evil from him home. Also I guess yajirobe licks him idk

- Why did any of this happen.

[rostovs-lover]

christmas for cowboys

roger taylor x reader | cowboys, lots of fluff | gender neutral reader | fluff, very fluffy | wc.1120

haha apparently i cant write anything long, also according to the editor i used this reads at a fifth grade level. i did the christmas prompt because i’m a slut for the holiday season but if you want the others written i’m totally willing, just let me know!

request : Since holidays are coming write about it like winter with Rog Christmas morning or New Year's vacation. Or maybe yn and Rog being young parents... or how Rog helped yn with her toxic relationship and then they slowly fall in

you and roger celebrate Christmas with your cowboy obsessed son and his trusty stuffed cow.

     There was a buzzing presence in the bedroom far too early. Oak door squeaking and quiet plodding across the room. You awoke to a gentle tapping at your cheek, big blue eyes peering into yours.

    “Mummy-” Charlie whispered, “Mummy it’s snowing.”

      You sniffed, blinking against the bright light in the room, “Is it?”

      “Mhm,” Your boy nodded, matter-of-factly, “It’s also Christmas, Christmas morning. Papa said Father Christmas would be here, and I checked the tree, he was,”

    “Did you see Santa?” The sudden interruption of Roger’s voice made you jump to which both he and your son giggled.

    “No,” Charlie smiled, “You’re not supposed to see Santa, that’s the point daddy,”

    Roger leaned over, draping himself across your waist, “Well obviously, any old fool knows that. But sometimes, if you’re sneaky enough you can just catch a glimpse.” Charlie’s eyes lit up, “Why don’t you pop downstairs, mummy and I will be right behind. Go peak if Santa got stuck up the chimney?” The boy nodded and set off downstairs filled with determination.

    Roger looked up at you, “Didn’t mean to give you a fright, sorry about that dear,”

    “Its alright,” You ran your fingers through his messy hair, “Just with all this talk of Father Christmas and I thought he’d crawled into bed with me,”

    Roger snorted, “Father Christmas, he talks like a property adult. Did you teach him that?”

    “No, but if we’re narrowing down culprits I’d put Brian under heavy suspension.”

      “Who else to call Santa by the scientific name?”

      The lights on the tree hadn’t been turned off last night and it cast a warm glow against everything. Charlie had already picked up his stocking and settled at the table with his trusty stuffed cow. It was only as old as its owner but, because of Charlie’s insistence to take it everywhere, it was already becoming dingy. At this point, no one could truly recall just how it had come into his possession, although it was agreed upon that Veronica was most likely the one who’d originally bought it. It had also never been determined why Charlie had latched onto that cow in particular because he had several stuffed cows. It had truly been glorious watching your son grow into his tastes, and he was always fond of animals, but from the age of three on he had wanted to be a cowboy. He was obsessed with the idea, painting his room barn red and collecting little animal toys.

    Charlie fiddled with the edge of his stocking as you set a glass of juice in front of him, “Can I open it?”

    “Of course, go on love.” You kissed his forehead and made your way back to the kitchen. It was still so early, just shy of seven o’clock. A red kettled boiled on the back burner as Roger scrambled eggs. You slipped your arms around his waist, leaning into the crook of his neck.

    “Your hands are cold,” Roger murmured, taking one of your hands into his unoccupied one.

    You hummed, “You’re warm,”

    The gentle silence was broken by Charlie, presenting a clear plastic tube filled with little farm animals, “Horses!” He waved it above his head, “I got horses!”

    “Did you?!” Roger called over his shoulder, “That's wonderful! Anything else in there?”

    He fiddled for a moment, reaching around, “I think… socks?” He stared at the fabric in his hands before he realized just what they were, “Cows! They look like cows!” His attention quickly deferred to something else, “I don’t know what this is, what is this mummy?” He held the thin object up.

    “A candy cane,” You patted Roger’s back, pulling away, “It’s to eat, but not right now.” Charlie nodded, inspecting it. The kettle on the stove screeched, calling you to the two teacups set on the counter.

      As plates and mugs were set on the table Charlie set down the final item in his stocking, “An orange?”

    You nodded, starting at your eggs, “For good luck,”

    “Why good luck?” Your son looked at you, seriously inquisitive.

    “Once, a long time ago, oranges were special. They were hard to find so when you’d get one in your stocking it was like a treat.”

    Charlie nodded, “I like oranges,”

    You looked over, towards the seat that housed Roger’s plate, but coincidentally Roger wasn’t there. You could see the top of his head just above the sofa as he looked for something by the tree. He stood abruptly, brandishing a round box wrapped in shiny gold Santa paper. He shook it gently in your direction, obscured from Charlie, and you knew what it was.

    Roger set the package by Charlie’s stuffed cow and settled back into his own seat. Confusion twitched the boy’s brow as he glanced between his father and the box, Roger knew what he was silently asking and nodded, “You can open it,”

    Charlie was still apprehensive as he carefully picked at the tape, trying not to rip the paper. When the outer layer was shed and looked at the cardboard hatbox on the table, “What is it?”

    “You’ve got to take the lid off Chaz,” Roger chuckled, tapping the top.

    “Oh,” Charlie mumbled, pulling up and lifting out the small cowboy hat inside. He gasped softly, admiring the black material before setting it atop his blond mop, “Thank you!” He cried, elated with the hat.

    Charlie’s ‘real cowboy hat’ was the highlight of his night. He wore it through the opening of all the other gifts, he wore it with his overalls to Freddie’s for dinner, he played as a cowboy with the other children all night, and he fell asleep wearing it in the car ride home.

    Roger parked the car and turned the ignition off, “He’s completely asleep, isn’t he?”

    You nodded, “He was nodding off before we left so I’m not surprised.”

    “Poor chap-” Roger grinned at you, “Being a cowboy is tough work I’d reckon.” He unbuckled his seatbelt, “I’ll get him,”

    After your boy had been put down and water made for tea, both you and Roger settled into the couch.

    “Reckon he had a good day?” Roger asked quietly, wrapping an arm around you.

    “I’d imagine. He got to be a cowboy and see everyone, quite possibly his two favourite things,”

    “Good,” The pair of you were content, basking in each other warm presence.

    You snuggled closer to your husband, “You know Rog, at dinner, I think Deaks may have referred to Santa as ‘Father Christmas’.”

    Roger rolled his eyes and sighed, “Why of course, he’s the one teaching our child eloquent words,”

    You leaned up to press a kiss to Roger’s cheek, “Merry Christmas my love,”

    “Merry Christmas to you as well,”

[jamesholden]

I just got myself super heated thinking about how often fandom seems to reduce Holden down to nothing more than “straight white male hero” with a side of “kinda dumb and nice”. I feel like the darker parts of him, all his internal struggles, get ignored to help push that fanon view of him.

So in the interest of talking more about how Holden really is as a character: What are your favourite “darker” parts of Holdens character, and what things about Holden do you wish fandom would see more?

oh my god this is going to be a lot like a LOT so just brace yourself, nonny. Imma talk about Holden’s burden of responsibility, his guilt center, his PTSD, how he makes mistakes and actually tries to apologize, make up for, and grow from them, and his absolute fucking resiliency so like here we go I guess.

It’s easy for us to be like “oh he had an easy life” and for a long time, he did have an easIER life than Amos or Naomi. But he had a lot of weight put on his shoulders by his family, eight adults. They wanted him to take over the farm, and the message he got from them was “it’s your job to protect this, our home, our legacy, and to carry it on”. That it was HIS RESPONSIBILITY to save his home. The entire reason he was born. Elise feels guilt over his upbringing even years later. That his childhood was devoted to learning how to save the farm. Reading court briefs and GOING TO COURT. That he met ARMED GUARDS AT THE GATES AS A TEEN. for someone who had a normal childhood that seems uh NOT NORMAL.

So he left at his mother’s behest and joined the Navy. Took the officer tract. Was well liked by his superiors and fellow crew members. Until one day when he refused an order to fire on a ship that he believed had Belter refugees on it. He threw a punch, broke his hand, and watched how he was proven right in the end. He was kicked out, and never went home again. Ran from responsibility because all he did was fail people. So he did what he believed he was best at and ran. He lived with a lot of guilt, pretending he didn’t.

And that’s a common pattern for him. He carries a lot of guilt. For home, for the belter ship, for the Cant, Shed and the Donnager, getting the Roci crew into trouble, Eros. Eros was what really fucked him up, what the fans really took the wrong messages from. He lived with not only survivor’s guilt, but PTSD, which fans ignored or wrote off as “assholery” even as the show gave clue after clue that the protomolecule was his trigger. It took him back to Eros. the books had an incredibly sad scene where he actually thinks he IS back there when on Ganymede, and Amos has to snap him out of it. 

He struggles with that, and it colors his actions for SEASONS. destroying the aid ship, the search on Ganymede station and the moon itself. He’s scared of Eros happening again and he wants to stop it at all costs, and he comes to realize how it’s affecting those he loves most. And it still affects him for YEARS after. Miller in his head, the station, SEEING AN ENTIRE RISE AND FALL OF AN ENTIRE CIVILIZATION, the Behemoth, Ilus OH MY GOD ILUS. 

I saw him being called “whiny” for a particularly meaningful scene in S4 in which he tells Elvi he has nightmares of what he’s seen over the years, but specifically what the station showed him. She writes it off because BUT SCIENCE, which bothers Holden in the moment. Holden’s trauma, which has kept him up at night, kept him from eating, changed his behavior so much he pushed his loved ones away, brought him to Ilus to relive parts of it, means NOTHING because SCIENCE.

And like... if that isn’t reflective of fandom’s response to his trauma over seasons 2-4... I don’t know what is. Holden’s trauma was virtually ignored or waved away. While we (rightly!) praised the portrayal and writing of Amos’ trauma, decades older than Holden’s fresh and ugly trauma, people wrote Holden off as an asshole, an abuser, a pointless character who should just die already. Like wow what a way to talk about a character who is traumatized and raw, one whose portrayal was based in ACTUAL RESEARCH OF PTSD BY STEVEN STRAIT. All because... what, we don’t like him? No one has to LIKE Holden, but to be so flippant about what is pretty plainly fresh, horrible, ugly trauma that made him into someone he isn’t and never wanted to be, while praising Amos and Alex for their responses to trauma, even when they also bordered on “bad behavior”... it left a really bad taste in my mouth. I gave up on arguing about it. Holden isn’t WHINY. He’s open and vulnerable about his pain and trauma and fears. Something I thought we WANTED from male heroes. Less toxic masculinity, more vulnerability. 

I love Holden for being a character who makes mistakes, acknowledges they are mistakes, and apologizes or tries to atone or be better for them. He wears his flaws on his sleeve. And he tries to patch them up. He tells Naomi he logged the distress call. He tells Naomi that he almost didn’t go back for the refugees on Ganymede. He tells her he regrets fighting for justice for the Cant instead of protecting them better. He tries to tell her his own feelings don’t matter about her decisions, and goes on to tell her he’ll never like something she did, even though he’d never hate her for doing it. He blames himself for her leaving, admits that his actions pushed her away, even if she denied that. He defers to Naomi SO MUCH after realizing how he’s wronged her or because she’s opened up to him because he realized how he didn’t listen and tries to listen MORE. He’s HONEST. Even when it hurts him or the person he’s speaking to. HE GROWS. Even if it’s imperfect at first. Holden tries, and to me that’s so incredibly important, and it’s not spoken of because for many it’s not good enough just to TRY. and that’s a shame.

Lastly, I love his resilience. It’s what drew me to him from the get go, aside from being someone who tried very hard to do the right thing. Holden gets beaten down so many times, but he always gets back up. Always. He always keeps fighting, keeps trying, keeps learning. His arc plays out SO BEAUTIFULLY in book 8, because he doesn’t give up, and he uses all he’s learned to survive. I found The Expanse when I was in a really dark place, trying to claw my way out. Holden helped me with that because he ALWAYS clawed his way out. And it meant so much to me. Holden doesn’t stop. He keeps moving forward.

SORRY THAT WAS SO MUCH i kept coming up with new thoughts and ideas I am SO sorry but I hope this gives you what you’re looking for! Thank you for giving me the space to rant about my bisexual himbo space knight.