#and that perhaps meryl and wolfwood have become something like hope to him

[alexiethymia]

I love how the line in the opening, “If you wanna cry, use my heart” is implied to be in Meryl’s pov. 

[beanibon]

When you have the chance, could you write about vash or wolfwood being jealous of someone flirting with the reader? but instead of mainly writing about how vash/wolfwood being jealous, can it be about when they see the reader's eyes light up & their demeanor completely change once y/n see them? perhaps neither of them have confessed yet, so it's just heavy mutual pining

Of course Anon, thank you for request! I'm personally a huge fan of the jealous trope, I think it's so fun to write for.

So I hope you honestly enjoy! Hopefully I've done your request justice 💜💜

You had been travelling with Roberto and Meryl from the beginning, as their personal photographer for big projects. Once Vash and Wolfwood joined your little musketeer group, you had practically filled your camera's memory card several times with shenigans the group got up to. You'd proudly display the photos, printed in a town the group stopped at, even buying a photo album.

After a week of travelling, the group stopped in a busy town for the weekend. After accommodation was dealt with Meryl suggested the group goes out for drinks at a popular bar just up the road. Roberto agrees instantly, the other two boys eagering agreeing also.

So together, with Meryl joined to you by the hip as you all entered the bar. It was crowded, but not an uncomfortable kind of crowded. You all agreed to take rounds in paying for the drinks, Roberto going first as he took everyone's orders.

Eventually it was your turn to write down everyone's orders diligently, mockingly saluting once you checked over everything was correct before heading over to the bar. Waiting for the bartender, a stranger had struck up a conversation with you. You politely engaged with the topic, admittedly enjoying the strangers story and flirtatious quips. Little did you know you had a pair of eyes burning into the man besides you, gaze never leaving you as you laughed at other joke, oblivious to certain jealous individual.

Vash

Vash isn't the kind of person to opening make others aware of his jealousy, he's usually pretty good at hiding it, though there are exceptions to this.

When he is feeling particularly jealous, he turns into a pouting child. The other's actively catching on that something isn't right with their on the run companion, who's bottom lip is jutted out as he looks your way, almost wishing it was him up their confidently flirting with you.

If he is jealous it'll often be accompanied with feeling self-conscious.

He's known to be a little timid, but when it came to you and hyping himself up to try and confess he always changed the topic suddenly, before running off with some lame excuse. It was a surprise you didn't catch on.

Something about watching someone else slink their way into making you laugh so prettily always made him picture himself rather than some stranger you just met, but he never actually intervened as he understood you were just a friendly person to begin with.

Yet the moment you turned your attention his way, despite probably addressing the entire group, he couldn't help the way his eyes sparkled behind his shades.

His entire body would straighten, an adoring smile present as his cheeks warmed as you offered a tiny wave catching his gaze. One in which he eagerly returned, making Wolfwood scoff besides him and give him a smack upside his head.

Of course the entire group, besides you know about Vash's one-sided crush, it was obvious in the way he always admired your photography skills. Even sneakily stealing one that he particularly liked of you, which he always ended up getting caught.

After a while of him deflating everytime you turn away, to becoming attentive like puppy who was promised a treat, Wolfwood finally snapped.

"Listen Needle-Noggin, how long are you going to stare at her for? I've had to suffer in the back of that car for days now, watching you embarrass yourself each time y/n accidentally leans against you. Either you fess up, or I'll do it in the most embarrassing way possible that you'll wish you died in that Sand Worm." Vash swallowed, throat suddenly feeling dry as Wolfwood leaned forward, face contorted in a mocking sneer.

Yet no matter how hard Vash tried to mumble out an excuse, his mouth simply did not cooperation, opening and closing as he blinked at the Undertaker.

"He has point, it's honestly becoming insufferable watching you interact with her, and it isn't doing you any good silently observing as people flirt with her. It's downright shameful, not to mention embarrassing." Roberto agreed, pulling out his signature flask as your back and forth with the guy was making the drinks delayed.

Vash shrunk under the old man's words, face red in embarrassment at how obvious he was. It wasn't long until his head was on the table, groaning as he tried to hype himself up for umpteenth time. He had tried so many times to confess, yet his confidence failed him each time, resulting in him stuffing those emotions back down. Now it appeared none of his friends were having it anymore, it was either he confessed, or Wolfwood would make a laughing stock out of him.

"I think imma need some of that," Vash grabbed the flask from Roberto, earning a disgruntled protest from the man as he took a few mouths of the burning liquor. "Here goes nothing."

Standing, Vash shuffles through the crowd, his heart beating rapidly in his chest as he approaches. As he gets closer, he hears your laugh and freezes. It's so sweet and beautiful, feeling his hand become clammy as he looks at you, a lump growing in his throat.

"Oh Vash, sorry I was just about to order the drinks." Your voice broke him from his thoughts, offering an awkward chuckle as he apologised for rushing you.

He felt several eyes on him, his friends, the strangers, and now your beautiful gaze, awaiting his answer to a question he hadn't even heard.

"Earth to Vash, you still alive?" You laughed, fingers snapping in front of his face. Vash blinked a few times, cheeks matching his jacket as he looked at you, his heart skipping a beat.

You had the most angelic smile on your face, eyes lighting up as he looked into them. You looked so relaxed in his presence, unlike the polite, professional way you held yourself when conversing with the stranger. And the way you tilted your head at him, it simply made the room spin.

"Y/n. . . I think I. . . I th-think I," Vash wanted the ground to open up and swallow him, he simply couldn't do it, not with this random guy watching in obvious mocking amusement. "I think I want to change my drink order, you wouldn't mind would you?"

Your shoulders slumped a little, inhaling as you smiled at him, this time not as bright as the previous one. "Of course!"

Vash already felt dejected, averting his gaze as you turned to hail down the barkeep, back towards him now. His was about to give in, let Wolfwood embarrass him further, that was until a hand snaked around your waist.

Blinking in shock, Vash turned to the stranger, who simply flashed him a cruel wink. Your body tensed under the unwelcome touch, shuffling further away.

Brows knotted in an annoyed frown, Vash surged forward, shoving himself between you and the stranger. Eyes glared down at the guy, ignoring the harsh insults thrown his way.

"I don't appreciate you touching her like that." Vash spoke in a low, warning tone. His glare never left the guy as he slipped back into the crowd, only then did he turn to you.

"Thank you, Va-"

"I like you, Y/n! I have for a while, but I could never find the words to tell you," Vash blurted out, face reddening at each word spilling from his lips. "You're just so perfect, so beautiful that it drives me crazy."

You stared at Vash in silence, unaware of the drinks placed before you that you had ordered. You simply just looked up at Vash, who had suddenly returned to his awkward behaviour from before, apologising profusely if he overstepped.

"I thought you'd never confess," You simply smiled, watching as Vash held his mouth agape. "You really didn't think I'd catch on? Not to mention Nicholas's constant complaining."

Vash felt the burning sensation of embarrassment, so Wolfwood had already spilled his secret?

"And I feel the same way Vash, there's no need to be embarrassed." A gentle hand grabbed his face, the action was so tender it rendered the blonde speechless. Yet his eyes shone so brightly, as if the stars shined within their blue hues.

You leaned forward, placing a tender kiss to his other cheek, grabbing the drinks and walking back to the others, leaving Vash frozen by the bar. A giddy smile was already growing on his face, before hurriedly followed, pushing Wolfwood to his precious chair to sit besides you.

Wolfwood

Unlike Vash, Wolfwood is extremely obvious when he's jealous. Yet he's in extreme denial about it.

Doesn't know how to deal with his emotions, so most of his interactions with you were infuriating teasing insults, or teasing Nicknames as a way to express them.

Often times due to your extroverted personality, you'd bite back. And boy oh boy did that light a fire in Nicholas.

But again, he doesn't understand these emotions, so he won't know how to deal with them, resulting in shoving them so deep down they're non-existent. A figment of his imagination, to never resurface.

It doesn't matter if he begrudgingly gives you his last lollipop every time you ask for it, or smile when you successfully pluck a crumpled cigarette from his lips to snuff it out. He won't fall for such Bewitching enticement.

Yet watching as some cocky guy comes up to you, causing you to laugh at some cheesy joke he probably pulled from his ass, made Nicholas see red.

If looks could kill, that guy would be buried six feet under.

But the moment you turn to address the group, catching his gaze, it immediately softens. Shoulders slouching as the hairs on the back of his neck stand, and immediately he tenses with a sudden realisation.

"Fuck, I'm in. . . Love?"

Nicholas swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling a wave of heat from his spot at the table, dread sinking into the depths of his being. He couldn't really be in love, could he? Not with someone as obnoxious as you?

Despite trying to deny everything, finding every excuse in the book to try and reason with this newfound conflict, the Undertaker came up blank. He seriously needed another drink to make it through the night, maybe a few dozen at best.

"You'll burn a hole through her at this rate, if you're that thirsty just get the drinks yourself." Meryl dragged him from his thoughts, earning her an glare of annoyance.

Quirking a brow back towards the flirt by your side, the way he leaned just that little bit closer, shoulders brushing. Nicholas wanted to fill him with bullets.

"You know what, I think I will." Standing, shouldering past other customers Nicholas rudely got in between you and your new buddy. His signature smirk present as he looked your way, sliding an arm across your shoulders. "Apologies for the interrupting, sweetheart. We're all dying of thirst back there, gonna wrap this up or what?"

You give Nicholas a slight glare, though it held no real bite. "Rude as ever, Wolfwood. The space on my other side was free, ya know."

"Oh I know, just wanted to make sure this guy backed off." Turning to the stranger, Nicholas scowled at him, pulling you just that little bit closer as he chuckled lowly. "Well, run along, she ain't interested and I'm sure as hell impatient. Wouldn't wanna piss me off further, now would we?"

Scoffing as the stranger left, not before flipping the Undertake off. Nicholas turned back to you, leaning against the bar as he flashed you a toothy grin.

"Seriously? That guy? You could do so much better than him."

"Like you?" Nicholas choked, coughing into his hand as he squinted at you, a deadpan expression on your face as you quipped a brow at him.

Composing himself, Nicholas cleared his throat. "I'm not the worst option, sweetheart. If you're into me that is, who knows I might even bite if you're pulling hard enough."

You snorted, laughter following shortly after when the drinks were slid your way. Shoving a couple towards Nicholas, you calmed down enough to look at him, trying hard not to laugh again. "If that's your way of confessing, Wolfwood, I'd say you're utterly hopeless."

Nicholas felt his throat grow dry as you walked off, leaving him with his own drink and an additional one, probably Vash's. Tapping the glass with calloused finger, Nicholas scoffed, eyes rolling as he grabbed the drinks.

You really knew how to piss him off, but he'd be lying if he didn't get a kick out of it. You really were something, and Nicholas could no longer deny the way you made his heart burst like a thousand miniature fireworks.

Maybe he ought to properly confess, you certainly didn't seem to back away from the idea. He'd just have to regain some of that courage, try again when he was more sober.

A/N: hope you enjoyed these Anon! I actually had a lot of fun writing these, and hope you enjoy reading them. 💜

I do apologise with Wolfwoods being shorter, I'm was on a Vash agenda before this xD

[forgivenpunishment]

❝ you can’t change your past and you can’t change who you were. you can only decide who you’re going to be. ❞ / dealer’s choice for verse :3

⩥ @eventheodds [outlaw] || twilight princess manga prompts [OPEN]

❝ you can’t change your past and you can’t change who you were. you can only decide who you’re going to be. ❞

He doesn't think he's spoken in weeks. Maybe longer—maybe months, years, it doesn't matter.

Why did they save him? He'd become his worst enemy, he slotted perfectly into the role, carried out his orders diligently—he forgot everything that he'd loved in this life and replaced it with corruption. Corruption that corroded his very ideals of family and love and caretaking...

He would have rather died than become that monster. He wishes—wishes—he died before he could've become the monster. Wolfwood—can he even call himself that?—hates that he wished for death.

But... what now? What can he even... where does he go from here? Who is he?

Old friends visit him like ghosts, whispering words of forgiveness and love that seep like venom into his bloodstream. Vile, vile! It's so vile! They should hate him! They should seethe! He wants them to! He wants them to hate him!

...That is where his brain has been. This... this muddled existence somewhere between death and hell, perhaps it's worse than existing in one or the other. Some spark... some small glimmer... it keeps getting into his eye like an ember and no amount of tears or screaming can keep it at bay. Hope, his mind supplies.

Hope.

Stop—stop it—stopitstopistopitstopstopstopmakeitstoppleaseicanticant—

He's alone in a room most of the time because he just can't stop thrashing. Touch him, he flinches—recoils, even. He may as well hiss.

Don't look at me like that. Don't look at me like I can be fixed. Please. Stop.

I'm not the same. You have to put me down. I'm a rabid animal. I'll only bite. Look. Look. These teeth, these claws, these eyes, I'll hurt you, I'll hurt all of you, I'll kill, just say the word and I will, I'm like a loyal hound I can be your hound but I can't be tamed, I can't, not... please stop looking at me like that...

Time passes. Vash. Meryl. They're both okay.

Damn Vash and his fucking mercy, damn him, damn him!

More writhing. More thrashing—coughing—he thinks he'll sooner cough up a lung than regain his voice. They give him ichor and he does it all again. Writhing. Thrashing. Coughing.

Suffocating.

God, he thinks, Please let this end.

†††

One day, no one visits him. He thinks his heart will give out tonight. Finally.

†††

It doesn't, but he does sleep. It is dreamless sleep. Outside, he thinks he hears whispers of 'giving up' and 'dead'. Dying. If only.

The voices are new. Words. He can hear them.

❝ you can’t change your past and you can’t change who you were. you can only decide who you’re going to be. ❞

Goddamnit. Vash speaks through her too.

Tired gray eyes blink open slowly. They are lifeless and dark, weary with sleep and despair. The warmth in his gaze, the vulnerability in the crinkle of his brows—none of it is there.

Surprisingly, it seems as though they've been able to touch him enough to groom him. His last memories recall long hair and shaggy whiskers—perhaps a beard? But now... he's clean. Freshly baptized in a bath and soap and a razor's edge, he finally sees Meryl. One of the ones that he loved. Wolfwood loved. Not... not who he is now... he can't... he doesn't know who...

At first, he can't open his mouth. It's sealed with coffin nails and untouched like an ancient, forlorn grave. The most he manages is a sigh before it all goes dark again.

He wakes up again, and his mouth is tacky. They must've gotten him to drink water somehow.

He doesn't deserve a chance to speak. He doesn't deserve a trial. Put him to death... lock him in chains... something, something, just stop looking at him like that—

"Why..." he croaks, setting the dusty vocal cords in motion, "Can't. Too much. Sin."

It may have been days since she said those words to him, he's not sure.

"Let go. Let me go. Please."

[eventheodds]

No Man’s Land has changed in ways both big and small. 

While the need to survive is ever present, as is that feeling of dread of being way out of her depth, Meryl likes to think she has gotten a pretty good handle on what was to come after witnessing the descent of the ark and wondering, for a time, if she would ever see Vash again. 

He’d been a blip in the sky, both him and his brother, Knives, and no one could discern where they were headed or if they would ever be seen again. 

It seemed like a fluke, at times, when she remembers it, that she was able to track him down even if that was all credited to a gumption that would not give in and a seemingly endless supply of hope. 

Her belief in Vash was not something that could be questioned or wavered in any way. She was called the Iron Lady for a reason.

And, perhaps, for once, she is willing to leave the scathing remarks behind this time as everyone is picking up the pieces and beginning again, in ways they only know how. The thought of either Vash or Wolfwood seeing her in Midvalley vicinity does make her mind wander as to what would become of it—if they would react negatively, though she suspects that to be true.

She had seen how determined Vash had been to get her back from both Midvalley and Zazie. She also remembers what followed after and how, even now, those memories will sometimes just be beneath the surface but she trusts in her resolve, in her heart, to not be led astray.

“Octovern, trying to rebuild. It’s quite amazing what we can do when we all work together towards a common goal.”

The amount of progress on setting up a new life in one of the remaining main cities has been quite the challenge—not just in finding resources, but in rallying everyone together. “It’s definitely not perfect, and I wouldn’t call it paradise either, but…”

Her voice tapers off as she thinks back to the city that has grown rapidly in such a short amount of time, and how it will continue to grow until…

…until…

Her drink is forgotten as the condensation leaves a ring of water at the base of the glass atop the counter, the softest clinking noise of the ice melting, and she looks down at the darkness of the liquid, wondering what actually comes next.

What is supposed to come next?

”Ship 3 has a vast collection of knowledge about Earth, but it’s not the whole of it. There’s so much more that’s missing, but the person who’s in charge of that ship has been gracious enough to share that knowledge with whomever is interested. I thought maybe there would be a whole lineup of people wanting to learn about our history, but turns out that most just want to return to the normalcy that they’ve known their whole lives on this planet.

”We’re good at that, I think…we’re good at picking up the pieces and continuing on, adapting wherever we can so that we can keep on living. It’s hard—perhaps more than we’re comfortable letting on—but we’re also stubborn and a lot of us refuse to let that get in the way.”

She lets out an amused scoff at where her thoughts have brought her and Meryl finally looks up from her drink and regards Mivalley. 

“Wasn’t expecting to go on about where we come from and where we’re going, but here we are,” she says with a shrug of her shoulders and takes another sip. The ice has watered down the drink considerably and perhaps that is for the best. Drunk Meryl is not something she is aiming for this evening.

”Journalism,” she says after a while. The silence in between, minus the soft background noises of the bar and those who still remain do not count, though she’s ignored them since she’s arrived. “I don’t think being an insurance agent held much in terms of job stability, so maybe journalism. There’s a lot to report on, a lot of information out there that people should know about.

”And if they’re not one to sit through thousands of hours of human history, perhaps I can find a way to condense that into bite sized pieces.”

"Well, can't say I didn't deserve it," Midvalley rolls his eyes, considering the fact that he'd nearly killed the woman in their clash. She got in between himself and Chap—Punisher—during the most heated moment, guns at each others' throats. "Still, quite the wake-up call. Can't say she stuck around much to catch up."

Once she left, he was lucky enough to find his new sax—Lauretta—and even luckier enough to be charismatic enough to swing a cheap apartment under the condition that he plays music for the owner. Easy enough.

"Hey, I've never sabotaged myself, first of all. I was put in situations and sabotaged by other people. There's a difference."

Was there really any chance of winning against Legato and Knives? There's no possible way to know now. There are plenty of things he would've changed though, in hindsight.

He takes a long sip, thinking. Bobbing his head from side to side thoughtfully. "It is nice to just play music for once. Really took that for granted in the old days, you know? But now that there's this... relative peace... I figured, eh, why not turn a new leaf? If there's nothin' in it for me anymore, maybe I'll go be a bounty hunter, but for now I collect tips and get offered free drinks in exchange for some tunes."

Midvalley ponders whether he should attempt to befriend this woman or not. He's never really had friends before. Is the person that he last saw in captivity—locked up by his allies, however temporary—is that the type of person he should even attempt to befriend? She's just gonna attract Vash and the Punisher, and well... maybe if he can get on her good side, they'll have some amount of mercy. Fighting sounds... exhausting. Not that he can't do it! But he'd rather not.

"Midvalley," he states, offering the woman his name, "Not workin' for anyone anymore, don't need any silly codenames. If you don't mind me asking, what have you been up to since the whole..."

He waves his hand in the air, not really sure what he's referring to. He was kind of dead through all the events that happened.

[severalspoons]

Liveblog: Rewatching Trigun, Episode 15

Warning: I’m having more and more difficulty figuring out what counts as a spoiler, much less avoiding them, so I recommend if you’ve just discovered this liveblog series you go back to Episode 1. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Also, it’s been a while since I’ve read the manga, so I’m not always sure whether I’m spoiling the anime or manga sometimes. Sorry.

-- Milly’s being such a brat. Actually, both girls are right now. You’re being carried on a litter like the queen of an ancient empire and you’re gonna complain about the pace? ::rolls eyes::

-- Look at Midvalley the saxophone player. He is such a bard. The kind who knows he’s gorgeous and tries to sleep with everyone, up to and including the dragon.

-- That’s a big cheesecake, Legato. You gonna eat the whole thing right here?

Legato has gone from eating a hot dog to eating something soft and sweet, which IIRC becomes his pattern from now on. No theories about Legato’s eating pattern, just interested.

-- Legato was named for his voice, wasn’t he?

-- I want to come off as chill as Legato...

It’s especially impressive how unflappable he’s acting right now given his (manga) backstory.

-- Sometimes the best way to annoy people is to completely ignore them.

-- “It’s not wise to be hasty.” He seems similar to Vash and different than Wolfwood in that way.

-- I’m kind of surprised the Roderick gang didn’t all try to jump Legato at once. They think of themselves like “brothers,” so they probably could’ve been coordinated enough. They’d have no way to know he could mind-control so many people at once. (When you consider that he has to concentrate a little bit to control each person, you can see how vast and well-controlled Legato’s attention must be).

-- That little Midvalley smile before he goes back to playing.

-- “At least now you know how much pain there is in living.” He’s the prophet of suffering.  

Legato is not the usual sort of person consumed by pain who loves to do unto others what was done to him. I’ve met people like this, who have a burning sense of resentment that they were treated unfairly. Even if their voice is cold, they’re clearly driven by anger. This sort of person makes sense. Hell, I could even imagine becoming like that. 

Legato, on the other hand, makes people suffer in an almost emotionless, casual way. As far as he’s concerned, there’s nothing unfair to be angry about here, suffering is just the way things are. 

So then, why bother hurting other people? Perhaps that’s why (he claims) he doesn’t usually bother.

-- Legato staring at his hand like it’s some new, fascinating species of insect, lol.

-- “I normally don’t interfere....it’s the way you look, Vash the Stampede.“ Huh? Vash’s facial expressions/mannerisms are so annoying they make you want to kill people and/or save kidnapped girls? OK...? 

-- At least the next line, “Your very existence causes me irritation” makes sense.

-- This mass Gung Ho Guns attack seems like overkill. Legato had it under control.

-- “Ladykiller?” Are women really that masochistic? :/ (No, I get it, it’s the hair). 

-- All but one Gung Ho Gun is here. Apparently there are rumors about this missing guy Chapel. Hm, wonder what they’ve heard. :3

-- “What’s wrong?” Haven’t you noticed there’s no people around? ::facepalm::

-- ...I guess the Roderick Thieves didn’t bury their brethren, after all.

-- Dominique the Cyclops is such an underrated character. Even if she’s the poster child for hubris. Her weird sense of honor...her perfect trenchcoat...her effortless cool...

-- “Call it a Spring cleaning of sorts...does that make you feel better?” Clearly not. Does it make her feel better?

-- Stupid button gag is stupid. Sometimes I forget this was made in 1998.

-- “I don’t want to hurt you.” Ugh, this part of Vash’s cornball persona is annoying. It’s in character that he’s still hoping to get out of a fight. I’ll just headcanon that he’s willing to be nice because she’s not crazy homicidal--she’s appealing to his sense of morality and wants a fair duel.

-- I’m enjoying watching Vash fight someone who can beat him in the areas where he’s used to having an advantage, so that he has to learn how to fight differently on the spot.

-- Vash mentally replaying a few key moments from the fight. Still not sure how he inferred her powers from those frames. I certainly couldn’t have. Vash spends so much time downplaying his intelligence that it’s easy to overlook, but I appreciate that he’s not a holy fool.

-- He blocks out her hypnotism by “focusing all senses only on pain.” Dominique’s not wrong to be stunned. It would probably take a normal human a lifetime of constant meditation practice for more than 3 seconds at a time to develop that level of control over his consciousness, at least. Keep this in mind when considering how he deals with life, compartmentalizes his feelings, etc.

Looks like this is the pain episode. Legato amuses himself and possibly exorcises some demons by killing people in horrifyingly painful ways, Vash survives and wins a fight by causing himself pain.

-- Really, Meryl? Every time I think she couldn’t be more oblivious, she reaches new heights.

-- Oh, Vash. If you want to scare your friends away, you can’t follow that up by going into goofy mode. It’s like the end of Abbey Road when the Beatles go from “The End,” a heartfelt goodbye that makes me cry every time, to a stupid rhyme, “Her Majesty.” It breaks the mood, diminishes the effect. 

No wonder Meryl doesn’t listen to you.

[severalspoons]

Liveblog: Rewatching Trigun, Episode 12

We're almost halfway through the show and the Gung Ho Guns are only just being introduced. And there are a LOT of them.

-- Vash playing in the square with the kids: That alternation of emotions and art styles is just crazy.

-- The infamous octopus animation and the bit where Vash carries the basketball around in his mouth = ewww.

-- Basketball hackysack, lol.

-- Kids gone, glasses on.

-- "Perhaps that was a bit too dramatic." For someone with such a calm, even voice, Legato is pretty extra.

-- I keep thinking there’s going to be a head in that bag.

-- What's with the blue, glowing eyes?

-- Oh no, it's that vacant ^_^ smile again. Now you KNOW something's wrong.

-- What was Milly going to say, before she changed her mind?

-- Why was Monev the Gale locked in a basement for 20 years?

-- Meryl, you picked the wrong time to suddenly become observant.

-- Srsly, how does he do the eye thing?

-- "Why could they possibly keep on living? What could possibly motivate them?" Oh no it's the million $$ existential question, and I'm pretty sure Vash isn't just asking about humans.

Is an "open ticket to the future" really an answer?

It's not a naive answer, really, as you might expect. She's not saying "people keep living because things will get better." After all, sometimes things don't.

Rem's saying, I think, that people stay alive because they have free will and want to use it. Free will means hope.

And Vash respects that free will.

It's probably already becoming clear he has the power to make people do whatever he wants. He could enforce peace on the planet, but instead, he wanders the world helping people one at a time. He leads by example, showing everyone he meets what a peaceful solution looks like. And last episode, we saw it can work when Wolfwood admits, "I thought there had to be a sacrifice, but there was another solution all along." /tangent

-- He sounds so unsure if it'd be wrong to shoot Monev.  :(

***

So a lot of people think getting angry in and of itself is immoral, unholy, or terrifying. Anger scares people, and they often want to stamp it out. Including in Christian tradition, which Trigun clearly draws upon. And it's pretty literalized here. Vash looks scary, like "el diablo," and it unnerves Meryl particularly. I like afriendlyirin's meta about what happened:

Vash is attacked in the middle of a populated city by a man named Monev the Gale. His first instinct upon escaping Monev’s initial attack is to get innocent bystanders out of the crossfire, as he has done in past conflicts. But now Monev, upon seeing what Vash is doing, does this:

So. How does our all-loving pacifist hero react to this?

He gets pissed.

This is an important moment, narratively and morally. What does the hero do when he can’t get everything he wants – when he is challenged? What does he value, and what does he compromise?

Vash does spare Monev in the end here, but the mere fact he was tempted to violence – to betray his ideals – reveals a lot about him. It shows that, when it comes down to it, he does value real people over ideals. Though he will forgive anything done to him personally, he is outraged at the idea of someone hurting others. His ideals serve the people he cares about, not the other way around.

...There’s a saying that love and anger can coexist. I would go further, and say that in some situations love and anger must coexist. If you truly love someone, how can you not be angry when they are hurt? How can you not be outraged at the cruelty, the injustice of this situation that allows them to suffer? How can that not test you, unless your love was not truly for them?

All of us who've felt enraged by injustice and evil almost to the point of violence understand what Vash is experiencing here. At the same time, through Milly and Meryl's eyes, we can see how righteous anger can transform you and how it can look from the outside. How important it is to keep it under control.

We're going to have the opportunity to contrast this sort of anger with a very different, cold anger where principles matter more than people. Stay tuned.

[eventheodds]

“I suppose as well as anyone can be after all that,” she says and nods a thanks at the bartender for another glass, more coke than rum this time. Perhaps after this one she’ll call it a night and head on back but her attention becomes rapt at the mention of Milly.

She smirks at the image of her friend going to visit him at the hospital. It paints a lively picture as she can imagine how Milly would give him a nice big dose of her wisdom and threaten in her own unique way.

Kind to a fault, loyal as well, Milly Thompson was not one to scuffle with. And God have mercy on their soul for whoever double-crossed her.

“Sounds like she really put you in your place, hm? She’s one to look out for, and count yourself lucky that you didn’t fully cross onto her bad side.”

There’s a feeling that washes over her when he mentions them being the Punisher’s friends. Nicholas D. Wolfwood—while she hadn’t spent much time with him, not like Vash had, there was something about him that she liked. And Milly trusted him—even though she came off as trusting to everyone, she held Wolfwood in high regards and that meant something.

Another sip as she thinks about talking to Milly after and getting the details of said encounter. Milly’s storytelling always leaves an impression and Meryl knows she’ll get the full scoop. 

She hums thoughtfully at the new lease on life he’s been given, glancing over at the stage where he’d been playing earlier. “Sounds like you got yourself a good deal. Hopefully you won’t sabotage it this time.”

Vash had made it a point to mention the dangers that pursued him, Wolfwood as well, but that never stopped her nor Milly doing what needed to be done. Even when things had gotten so dire, they stuck around, pushing themselves even when it felt like there was no hope left, neither of them were willing to give up.

“You really looked like you were enjoying yourself up there,” she says, dialing down the spite even if he was only half to blame for what happened when she’d been taken. In what feels like this second chance for everyone, she doesn’t want to hold onto anger and hatred, even if, at times, she still finds herself navigating towards those emotions. Even with immediate threats seemingly dealt with, there is still much to overcome.

Midvalley chuckles around the lip of his glass, shrugging at her insistence to pay for herself. Independent. Strong-headed. Loud. Investigative. Yep, that's just how he remembers her. Whoever she is.

...

He's never actually asked her name. It's kind of weird for her to come find him and approach him at all. Guess once you enter the world of weirdness, you get stuck in it, and hell if that isn't whatever business happened with Knives and his brother.

Fingers still wrapped around the glass, he points towards her with a smirk, "Hey—that wasn't my idea. You have the Beast to thank for that piece of the plan. I don't usually do the whole... hostage thing." The glass clinks against the bar as he places the drink down.

"Besides. Looks like you turned out alright after all, huh? More than I can say about myself." He chuffs solemnly, finally fully turning to Meryl to look her up and down, then to judge the rum and coke that comes out for her. "Figures you'd want such a sweet drink, must be to match your sweet personality."

He says this ironically, fully remembering the woman having more of a spicy personality. In other words, hilarious to tease.

And he better find something other than himself to talk about, because he sure as hell doesn't want to talk about the fact that somewhere out there is a faceless corpse wearing his bones underneath the dirt.

"Your partner already did a number on me," he waves her off, "She visited me in the hospital. The hospital! She scolded me! I don't know a damn thing about the world, practically a newborn fresh out of the womb, and suddenly I'm face to face with one of the damn Punisher's friends! Yeesh, you people are nothin' but trouble."

Despite the state in which the group had left him way back then, Midvalley's hands are quite animated as he speaks. In fact, the way he speaks is lively—much more lively than Meryl had ever seen him while she was imprisoned. Nearly every moment she could catch "Player," he stalked around with a scowl on his face.

Now, he's laughing—even if ironically—and cracking jokes. His music rang through the bar with no bleeding ears, no popping blood cells. It's dreamlike. It's too good to be true.

"Glad you liked the music though. Gotta pull myself off the ground somehow. Got a neat deal with the bar owner here," he snickers, "You wanna come see me again, I play on the weekends, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. Tip generously, won't you doll?"

[anxiety-elemental-kay]

vashmeryl trigun trigun stampede meryl stryfe vash the stampedeboth because it fits her perfectlyand when the line comes up in the animation videoit's overlaid in the scene where meryl asks him how he can still smileother raw lines 'holding on to my mother's love from the pastpouring out liquor I don't even like''don't have anything to protect with my life'has a scene transitioning with vash to one with wolfwood in the beginningthe line 'but I never forget my hope' focused only on Vashbut later in the second half it focuses on Meryl Wolfwood and Vash sort of showing Vash isn't alone anymoreand that perhaps meryl and wolfwood have become something like hope to him'I don't wanna lose any more love' and you keep hearing nai with aifocusing on vash and nai's past with remI just I really love it when the ost of an anime fits it perfectlyand this particular ost not only covers vash's philosophies and thinking but even his major relationships

why did you keep all this in the tags, you’re destroying me

I love how the line in the opening, “If you wanna cry, use my heart” is implied to be in Meryl’s pov.