#and that mini job is sucking my soul

[ghost-bxrd]

Also as a joke, Batman goes into public domain in 2034, so just you wait

But on more serious note it's actually more likely if we go with vibes and change names and facts around so the game won't get under copyright infringement, because rn rights to dc games are owned by worner bros, and they are assholes for a bunch of various reasons

Like move Gotham to some European country with coal mines history and Gotham vibes of art Deco had sex with Soviet brutalism, switch signs around, turn batman into idk lupman and just there are ways to legally go around having exactly dc universe so the lawers won't get our asses, but also with enough nods towards the original comics we're basing it off, maybe move timelines to be in like 20/30s, that's like also lean more towards noir history

Just, ye, I know the want to make it on the dc universe, but games industry is shit about such games, Warner bros is shit about that, and nobody would trust a team that made nothing to create a game, they fall off too often. And also wb won't just allow us to do that, because even if we don't go like hey pay to us they are better off just shutting the while thing down because uh no we don't want to pay you for that we don't care. So hate to capitalism and megacorporations. Yay

Sorry to be a doomer

Name/location changing and story alterations have been suggested a couple of times before. But I’ll be frank and say it loses a lot of the appeal for me personally >.<

Like, could it still be a killer game? Absolutely! You’d have free rein with new characters, adjusted character backgrounds, characterizations, locations, story progression, etc. But the original batfam theme were all attached to would be lost.

Not to mention the additional metric ton of work that comes with inventing everything from scratch. Which, I won’t lie, might also be very fun in its own way. But I have to draw the line somewhere with how invested I can get, considering I have university to think about and also work a mini job on the side >.<

[okimsimp2023]

Ok, I decided to create a mini-column for this blog, namely the personal cry of the soul of the simp, or "This character is my wife, and I'll explain why!".

That's right, I will heartily write in posts about why I like this or that character so much! And hardly anyone will shut me up, because this world needs more posts with positive reviews about the Persians. And the first wife who will become my first post will be Jon Arbuckle from the animated series "Garfield and Friends"! I want to talk specifically about Jon from this cartoon, because he appeared in it much more often and showed a character, and I'm afraid to watch 3d animated series based on Garfield. Well, I'll also warn you that the post was created on emotions, so I'll be dumb at times.

Well, I definitely know that the simps will gather under this post… Hello people, I know you are unlikely to pass by this post, because I will lick the character. If anything, you can write your impressions about the character under this post. Maybe you want to add new things or just share your opinion.

He's cute.

Like… Both in appearance and character. He is funny, awkward, clumsy, and most importantly, he is quite a good guy. Yes, he does all sorts of shit or any nonsense, but that's what Jon is all about, half of Garfield's humor is almost based on this, that he's a loser and a hopeless romantic, and I'm not surprised anymore. But in fact, he does this job perfectly, I really love him with flaws than without them, otherwise I would not be perceived by me as a person with flaws and strange hobbies. Sometimes you look at him and think, "fuck, man, how do I understand you…". And yes, to some extent I like pathetic and nervous men, who are sometimes capable of doing crazy things (and he can also whimper).

2. Attitude towards pets.

dilf dilf dilf dlif dlif dlif dilf dilf dilf dlif dlif dlif dilf dilf dilf dlif dlif dlif-

All right, jokes aside, AHEM. But there is some truth in every joke, so he still DIL-

I like that in this cartoon he sometimes appears to Garfield and other pets as a parental figure (although unsurprisingly, Garfield in some cases behaves like a typical troubled teenager, but without whining, and I also find this charming). True, he is not perfect at all, but still he takes care of his dear boys, and in no other way! And he probably has almost the strongest patience with Garfield, lol. Because if I had such a cat, I might not have been able to stand it and would have gone to a mental hospital myself.- But okay, it's too loud about the latter.

3. Voice.

I don't know if I should mention it, but of course I will. For me personally, his voice is like that... Gentle and pleasant.

4. An apron makes a man 20% more attractive!

I don't know why, but I like that when cooking food, he puts on this little apron lol. But that's not the only reason I've highlighted this item, because I also want to highlight his culinary abilities. Because… Dude, he can cook! Forget about those words that he doesn't know how to cook, it's a complete fucking lie. Jon can cook many dishes at once! And this is just for the sake of feeding the cat.

So if you suddenly work late and come home, then you obviously won't stay hungry, because the same tired Jon managed to cook dinner (and most importantly, make it to dinner, otherwise Garfield will finish before you lol).

5. Dancing

I think it's not worth talking about it, everyone has known about this dance for a long time. BUT HEY, I'LL SAY IT. HE WAS FUCKING AWESOME.

His plastic body, smug face, movements, and this shot of him opening his jacket and a tie with his pet on his chest… The dude literally revealed his whole wonderful essence. I mean it… I am an insecure person myself. I would never go out dancing in front of people, because I can't dance and it sucks. BUT THIS LOSER MAN DID IT, AND HE GETS A KICK OUT OF IT! HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT PEOPLE, HE JUST DANCED. THIS IS MY HOT WIFE EEEEEEEEE-

And that's why this character is my wife. The End.

And I'm sorry that this post came out… It was enough for the little ones, although I could paint everything down to all sorts of little things like interests and other things, but I wrote everything I wanted. For me, Jon seems to have become a comfortable character, and I still don't fully understand why this is so (or is it my hyperfixation). But as long as he makes me happy, I dare not object to anything. And I lived up to the name of this blog, lol.

[rewordthis]

The struggles of art, are not for everyone.

It’s really not, indeed.

You have to like the process first and foremost.

If when putting the tip of the pencil down onto paper your main thoughts are how you’re bad, how you won’t have any progress, or hope you’ll be as good as those famous artists you follow on here or Twitter, then you’re really doing it wrong.

I’ve been drawing for forever and I still don’t seem to make anything better than before but having an old drawing around always puts things into perspective. I draw because it gives me peace of mind. If it just gives you anxiety then sure, it’s not for you.

And in the end, what I love the most about it is the sensation of my pencil-tip scratching that blank void that a sheet of paper is. Not the prospect of earning likes, a following, or money from it. I have tons of art that’ll never see the light of day for many reasons, that I’m so hang up on the fact that I made it. I was in my best condition when I made those pieces, in the right headspace, I was whole. The muses guided my hands these times, God smiled down on me.

What can I say? I’m a girl of simple things.

But the whole debate about whether AI is a medium for creation or easy theft, has soured my mood.

I do NOT consider AI art when its main ‘reference’ is straight up stealing and plagiarising someone’s sweat and tears. Before feeding it your favourite artist’s (or writer’s) work to mince and chew it up like it’s nothing in order to vomit a halfassed attempt at creation on your part remember this, the artists and writers the works of you used, are real people. They breathe, they eat, they cry. They pour TIME into their works. Time that you do NOT respect. They put feelings into their works. Feelings that you do NOT respect. For some of them, it’s also their main income. Income that you DEVALUE by stealing what is considered a unique trait of their trade!

You will NEVER learn anything nor get better at anything other than stealing that way. Because you haven’t known the value of hard work. The value of putting a chip of your soul into what you make. The value of living inside every work you’ve ever CREATED. You never lost sleep, food, or a piece of your sanity trying to make something from scratch. Trying to make it work. Trying to give birth to something unique.

What pitiful existences really, are those who can’t value someone else’s soul enough to respect it…

Anyway… this is getting heavy for me so I’m not going to rant over this anymore. I just want to say that I’m going to release some basic everyday steps for those who really want to learn drawing to follow on their own. Art takes time. Great writing takes time. It also takes for someone to be happy each time for what they were capable of creating.

That said, let me be clear that these mini exercises aren’t gonna clinch you a job at mappa, nor are they going to teach you proportions or whatever else those tutorials promise you, they’re specific to making you understand how 3D and observation works in order for you to be able to pick the elements you need every time you make a new piece. That’s all!

Progress isn’t jumping from 3yo art to fucking Rembrandt. It’ll suck ass before it even looks remotely decent!

Make sure to have that☝️printed and posted on your wall. That’s an order! *flexes whip*

Ok, I’m kidding, but seriously that’s your only motto from now on if you want to get better.

And now let’s prepare the ground for your exercises.

What you’ll need first is either a normal pencil or a 2mm one. No 0,5’s or whatever… in general NO mechanical pencils. Personally I’d recommend starting with a wooden pencil, though.

A good eraser that doesn’t smudge. It doesn’t matter what colour or brand as long as it erases the graphite well and without too much mess. Remember, NO SMUGES! *Forgot to say, a charcoal eraser will be a good friend, if it’s affordable. (Sorry for forgetting that.)

Now, hardness:

Find your typical hand writing pressure in the table below.

Generally the harder you press, the more difficult to erase. So bigger pressure (aka black marks, scratches etc) is 5.

5 4 3 2 1

2H H HB B 2B

How it works:

If you’re 3 you’ll need:

H: tracing

HB: outline

2B: shading

If you’re a 5 you’ll need:

2H: tracing

H or HB: outline

B: shading

If you’re 1 you’ll need:

HB: tracing

HB or B: outline

2B: shading

If you are 2 or 4 you’ll have to go through trial and error. Sorry. Just keep in mind that depending on where you lean; extremes or average (3), you follow the guidelines above.

For example, I am a hard 5 (if not 5,5 lol) so at some point I resorted working with just 2H and HB. I only ever use B when I need something to be black— which admittedly happens rarely. It’s only a few times you’ll need to depict actual black.

> You generally need a tracing pencil that won’t leave too dark visible marks behind when erased. People 5 and 4 will have to be a little careful though and not scratch the paper but that will come with practice.

> Your outline has to be enough to ‘stain’ the paper so you won’t lose your main sketch. It’s also correction time. Yey!

> Your shading shouldn’t smudge because you’re going to use layers. Yes. Even in traditional art you darken in layers, typically in as light moves as possible and in varying angles until you get the shade you want but that’s for later.

I personally don’t have any specific papers to propose to you (bitch you’re using basic photo-printing A4 papers wth lol). You’ll just need a hard surface, especially my 5 and 4 palls.

Ok, that’s it for today, folks.

Let me also slap a disclaimer here: I am NOT a professional art tutor. I just love art. 🤗

[cobalt-cactus]

7 & 24 from the writers ask list?! 😁

What are my preferred writing fonts?

My answer to this is lame. The default of the program. LOL. Whenever I get the mood to write I just go and don't worry what it looks like.

How do I recharge when I'm not feeling creative?

I'm going to narrow it down just to writing since I actually have multiple creative hobbies like mini painting and modding. I usually find myself playing some mundane, mindless game in my Steam library or reading. My day job is pretty soul sucking when it comes to not really allowing creativity (in the way I want to be) so thankfully it usually doesn't take much to get my creative juices stewing in my subconscious.

[bookscandlesnbts]

"I’m not fully convinced that JK wants to be working this hard tbh. He loves being on stage, but with some of his latest performances, his energy is different. I don’t know how to explain it, but those that can see it, see it.“

Same feeling here. I’ve been disappointed by most of his recent performances - the fact that I don’t vibe with Seven and even less with 3D surely does not help but still, he does not seem to be that much into it imo. The interviews around the singles were a bit boring, but I find the songs boring anyway so I don’t know why I expected more..He did say recently he doesn’t have as much energy as he used to. I think he’s working hard right now, I hope he’s not burning himself out. I just can’t help but wonder if it’s truly what he wanted or if he wants to prove something, to us fans but also to himself. Which is fine but I just hope he’s not pushing himself too much to prove us something, he has already shown how great of an artist he is. His schedule is crazy these days…

Honestly I’m also disappointed, I was expecting him to be credited at least for one song. I hope it was his choices, if he’s happy with how things went then it’s all good but imo it would have been smarter to go for less songs, like a mini album, but more involvement from his part even if minimal.The collabs, the overhype and Scooter involvement killed my curiosity, it’s like those beautiful cakes you see at the baker but then it doesn’t taste much - it’s not like you won’t eat it, but it’s not as good as it looked like it would be… dumb parallel maybe sorry. I’m sure I’ll like some songs but I’m not expecting much.He was lacking inspiration it’s pretty clear now, and it’s not a shame I absolutely don’t blame him, but I guess he felt pressured to release something big but somehow I don’t feel the connection. I just hope he’s doing okay.

The interview that Bang PD did a couple days ago is linked here: https://x.com/daily_jkupdate/status/1712671267667705932?s=46&t=qPnJMLyaHtW8TW1s2gwVIg

Because these are the facts. We aren’t toxic stans for wanting more or wishing this rollout was different. I’m not a toxic stan for wishing that JK wouldn’t have been pressured to do an album at all, because I don’t think he wanted to, and in this interview, Bang PD even said that JK wasn’t sure about releasing an album. But Bang PD let 🛴 get involved and I’m sure he knows JK’s star power and pushed him into doing a couple songs and then an album. And like I mentioned before, I could see the members producing a solo album before MS (besides Jin who had to enlist right away because of his age) as part of their contract. That left JK with no time to fulfill that because he hadn’t come up with any solid songs on his own.

Western interviews are always awkward. For everyone involved. I think JK did a great job persevering considering he was on his own, but I’m sure he wasn’t too thrilled or comfortable doing it. I’m a music lover, so the songs weren’t my cup of tea either. Seven was catchier and the clean version was more tolerable. But yeah, I’m not a toxic stan or a bad JK fan for not being obsessed with Seven or 3D. I’m hoping that I like some of the songs on Golden and that JK connects with them. Because we know he puts his heart and soul into songs that mean something to him. Re: him recording Letter.

I’m not disappointed because I wasn’t expecting it. JK quite literally told us on lives he hadn’t been working on any music. So, considering the fast timeline, I’m not surprised he had nothing still since it comes out in a few weeks. The collabs and the overhype from 🛴 both suck but I’m hoping that we get some solid JK solo tracks too the ones without features.

I also hope he’s doing okay. I empathize with his position. I love him as a human. But I’m not a mindless robot that burns myself out streaming songs I don’t like all in the name of fandom either. Hopefully, I’ll like some of the songs, and I’ll listen to those. Thanks for sharing your opinions.

[okayto]

Mini-Review: The Disastrous Life of Saiki K

Kusuo Saiki is a psychic. And a telepath. And a telekinetic. You know what, just assume that any psychic power you've ever heard of is available to him. But apart from that, he's a regular grumpy sixteen-year-old boy who just wants to be left alone to enjoy his coffee jelly. Unfortunately for him, that's not likely to happen – with the school's hottest girl crushing on him, friends who either can see ghosts, think they're superpowered, or are too dumb to live, and parents who can't quite keep it together, Saiki's life is anything but calm as he finds himself using his powers to keep the world functioning.

The first time I watched Saiki K was several years ago, before I was even logging all my viewing via these reviews. I was just getting back into anime, after a combination of first college busyness and then a soul-sucking job saw the time and energy I had for fun things dwindle. After a couple years at a new job, I realized that I was doing a lot of work that left one of my monitors open, and that no one was nearby to care, so I pulled up Netflix and was immediately distracted by a pink-haired cartoon boy.

Saiki is a comedic mashup of school and shounen tropes, and keeps its tongue firmly in cheek as it follows Kusuo Saiki (Saiki being the family name and what most characters call him, as is normal in Japanese culture) as he deadpans and snarks his way through life, just trying to get through high school without getting discovered for the immensely-powerful psychic he is. Unfortunately, a bunch of annoyances (his view)/friends (their view) hang around and hijinks ensue.

This is a series that just wants to be silly. The first episode helpfully explains not just that Saiki is super powerful, but that he has affected the world so things like brightly-colored anime hair are normal (so no one questions his naturally-pink hair), among other things. It's explicitly "anime logic works because we want it to," which was fourth-wall-breakingly hilarious the first time I encountered it. (It's still funny, 3 or 4 watches later.)

Saiki is, of course, the star of the show, reluctant as he may be. His deus ex machina powers mean he can fix pretty much anything, but his desire to hide said powers, as well as a (however-reluctant-he-is-to-admit-it) kind personality lead to involvement in everything from deadly stage magic to Santa Claus impersonation to saving island castaways.

And really, all the guy wants to do is eat coffee jelly, and occasionally watch media or play a game without getting telepathically spoiled for it.

His dry, sarcastically deadpan voice drives the show as he narrates straight to the audience. You often can't tell whether he's speaking to himself/the audience, or to another character, putting him in the position of a narrator unwillingly drawn into the story itself. (Fun game: try and spot how many times Saiki visibly uses his actual voice, based on whether you see his mouth move when he speaks. It's not often!)

(Incidentally, other people on this site have brought up the personality similarities between Saiki and Murderbot of the Murderbot Diaries books. Both protagonists would like to be left alone to their hobbies, both are unwillingly befriended and acquire a group of people they care about and also have to keep rescuing. If you like Murderbot, Saiki is personality-wise a very similar mood.)

The extended cast really makes the series. While there are episodes that focus on just Saiki (Saiki and multiple quests to obtain coffee jelly, Saiki vs. cockroach in his house, etc.), most involve his family (odd), preexisting friends (rock-brained Nendo, fantasy LARPer Kaido), and classmates that attach themselves to their expanding group through the series.

My favorite was a character who showed up in season 2, Mikoto Aiura. She's a fortune-teller and while she doesn't have Saiki's prodigious talents, she could potentially be a threat...or an ally. Truly, one of the most fun things through the series is not just seeing Saiki's reluctance to calling his friends friends starting to wear down, but the two other characters with specialized powers themselves. They give Saiki a way of being known that he doesn't usually get outside his family, and it's fun to see him realize he can enlist others to help on occasion.

Verdict

English Dub? Yes for the first season, and the fourth (6-episode) season, although the latter had a different cast. Both casts are fine, and I can't be entirely sure that my preference for the first season's cast isn't mainly due to the fact that I had more exposure to them, but Jerry Jewell's Saiki is so dry and sarcastic it wins me over. The second dub cast was good in its own right, and the cast did an excellent matching voices. There are several in the second dub that I prefer--Saiki's rock-headed friend Nendo sounded more like a person and less like a cartoon the second go-round, and several female characters were less high-pitched in ways I preferred.

So really: the dubs are great. It's sad that the entire series isn't dubbed, especially because the rapid-fire snark means subtitles sometimes go very quickly.

Visuals: Meh. It's not bad, but no one is going to watch this for the art, and it's often pretty simple.

Worth watching? Oh HECK yes. It's incredibly fun--I have watched this at least three or four times. It's silly and comedic, perfect when you want something lighthearted. Each normal-length episode is also broken up into five minisodes, so it's perfect for when you won't be watching for a long time, or if you get interrupted frequently.

Important to note that despite there being four "seasons," only the first two are normal-length (24 episodes each). The third are two extended-length specials, while the fourth consists of 6 episodes.

Where to watch (USA, as of June 2023): Funimation (season 1 only; sub & dub), Netflix (all), Tubi TV (season 1 only; sub), BR (season 1 only; sub & dub)

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

[wintersongstress]

TV show brainrot tag

tagged by the gorgeous and talented @a-shakespearean-in-paris  to list some of my top tv shows 💕 thank you! You will mostly learn that I am a sap for period dramas 🤭

1. North & South

My entire freaking soul bleeds for this unrivaled mini series. Nothing else matters but John Thornton and Margaret Hale and the way they ache for each other. 

2. Sanditon

I just finished the last season and I swear, more people need to watch this! It’s incredible! The costumes, the sets, the DRAMA!! There’s cute romances left and right and just so much to love about Sanditon. Highly highly recommend. 

3. Anne with an E

I watched this show while I was going through a really difficult time, and it made a huge impression on me. Coming of age can be something so transformative and heart-warming. You really grow to love all these characters 🥺

4. The Last of Us

I can’t lie, the story of the last of us has ruled over my emotions for years, and I think they did a great job adapting it into a show, but at the same time it felt like an exact re-hash of the game with very little new content/scenes. Still loved watching Ellie and Joel bond, because that’s what it’s all about. 

5. Stranger Things

What can I say? All of the characters are super charming and have kept me watching for years. 

6. The Summer I Turned Pretty

I usually don’t care about the lives of fictional high schoolers and, ok, the books SUCKED. But the show?? I felt like a teenager again in a good way. 

7. A Discovery of Witches

I remember loving this show, but it’s been a hot minute since I watched it. 

tagging: @the-halo-of-my-memory // @preciousgyro // @rivetingrosie4 // @miss-river // @sternbagel​ // @stedebonnets​ //  @vindicia and anyone else who wants to! Feel free to ignore me though 🙈​

[infernal-thorns]

The more I think about it. The more I realize that Senpai gets no respect, both in-universe and in a meta sense.

This is gonna be a long analysis, and a bit of disturbing imagery so it's gonna be under a "read more".

First, he dies, and is (apparently) canonically dead permanently after Week 6 (despite the fact he's a video game character, and can thus can technically respawn). Hell he even technically dies TWICE if you include the mini Darnell comic.

He's also canonically written to be a prejudiced asshole for...reasons. Like, the devs really want you to hate him. Which I get the idea, but it sucks given he has so much potential as a character (But then again when was FNF about character development?) and, to me at least, there's not really a NEED to make him that way. Granted, PhantomArcade was the one who said that stuff, and not Ninjamuffin, so of course take that "canonical" information with grains of salt. Obviously the prejudice stuff is straight up removed from my portrayal of Kenji. He is a trans pan dude who loves his ace-bi girlfriend and everyone regardless of creed or identity.

And in a meta sense, he has no merch aside from his OST LP record. Zero, zilch, nada. No stickers, no plushies, no shirts, no figurines, NONE. At least, not yet...

And with mods? Granted, he's not completely left out. He's in a bunch of mods, "But Bad", Doki Doki Takeover, X-Ray, etc. But for most of the mods he's slated to be in, they either get cancelled before his week, or they're still in development hell, making his fate unknown.

Minus? Cancelled. Elegant Night Dancin'? Cancelled. B3? Development hell. Neo? Development hell. Monday Dusk Monolith? Development hell. The ONLY major mods so far to release their Week 6's in full are D-Sides and Soft.

Of course I don't mean that as a means to bash the people behind the mods, they of course deserve to take their time and take breaks. It's just...PLEASE don't cancel before your Week 6's, I beg of you! /hj

And for a few mods, he was going to be in them, but got cut. You know Hit Single? The mod Silly Billy is from? Yeah, Senpai was going to be in it at one point! But they didn't know what to do with him, so he just got scraped, so all that exists is his concept art.

He was going to be in FNF: Mediocrity (The mod about No More Innocence), appearing in the song "Black Roses". But THAT got scrapped because the artist who was making that song got kicked of the team for their problematic actions (so I've heard...).

Which is a HUGE shame, not only because you know, Senpai. But also because Black Roses is fucking FIRE!

Good job artist! You've let both this banger of a track and Senpai go to waste!

Just...ugh...this hurts my soul as a Senpai lover...

[miloscat]

[Review] Sonic and the Secret Rings (Wii)

Another failed experiment.

Sonic Team were hustling for this new generation of consoles. They rushed Sonic 06 out the door and despite it performing like dog plops on its targeted HD consoles, there were plans to make a Wii version! This would take time (and of course never eventuated) but Sega still wanted another release for the console's launch window, and so another rush job got pushed through: Sonic and the Secret Rings.

As an early Wii game, Secret Rings really wants you to use that Wii Remote, and asks more of it than it's fully capable of. You play with my least favourite of all control schemes, the "single sideways-held remote", and not just that but it's very motion-heavy. Sonic runs automatically forwards and you move him side to side by tilting. Jumping is mercifully handled by a button press but homing attacks (with an on-screen reticle this time, looking at you 06) are performed by pushing the remote forwards. You can also stop and walk backwards by tilting the remote back towards yourself, maybe the least-responsive function but luckily one that's not needed as often.

I needed to address the controls first because they're a spectre that hangs over the whole game experience. In my 9-hour time with the game it never, ever felt like I was engaging with a fun new game system; rather, I was constantly battling a truculent pet who didn't want to take their medicine. Some levels I just had to skip because they simply didn't seem feasible. Occasionally I could revisit them thanks to the customisation system, though. Also note that Secret Rings was forward-thinking enough to remove the lives system, which helps tremendously with progressing!

The game is split up into seven main "worlds" selected from a menu, each with one level. The main event is a long runthrough of this setpiece-filled level that advances the plot. After this, small parts of the level are remixed for mini-challenges that progressively unlock. I like the idea and it's a good way to get more out of the assets, but progression feels too bottlenecked by these sidequests, so it's not a straightforward path to unlocking the next world. Sometimes there's a boss fight (easily the most tedious part of the game), but sometimes Sonic just gets the next MacGuffin out of nowhere.

Completing levels also gets you experience that levels up your magic ring. This governs your max ring total, your soul gauge used for special abilities like a hurtling "almost-guaranteed-to-damage-you" speed boost and a time slow, and the most important is your perk points. Levelling up also unlocks new perks, and you end up with a vast array of minor tweaks and ability boosts. Some of these should just have been part of Sonic's moveset, others are there just to make him weaker and worse to control at the start of the game I guess? Again, the idea of customising your playstyle is nice but the execution has issues.

The setting and art direction is one of the game's strengths. Sonic gets sucked into a book of the Arabian Nights, and meets the genie Shahra (maybe a reference to Scheherazade but with a completely different role?), who is your Elise-style wet blanket female lead. The world has some fun "fantasy Middle East" flavour, although perhaps the coolest environments for me are the more outlandish dinosaur jungle and Panzer Dragoon-like cities on the backs of colossal flying creatures (the director Ogawa was also heavily involved in Panzer Dragoon Saga).

The story is nothing special but generally well acted this time, and with attractive painted art illustrating the cutscenes. Our villain is "Erazor Djinn", a big purple dweeb with an exceedingly unthreatening voice who fights with a giant shaving razor. The world feels sparsely populated, with a total of only four other characters, three of which are famous Arabian Nights characters played by Sonic's chums without explanation. They show up once or twice only in cutscenes and that's about it... pretty underwhelming.

There are other characters present in the party mode, however. Not content with the main adventure, Sonic Team contracted Now Production—who they had recently collaborated with on the first Sonic Riders game—to create a multiplayer-focused secondary mode to tack on to the package. Like Mario Party or indeed Sonic Shuffle, this has a bunch of four-player minigames set within a few different framing modes. Maybe Rayman Raving Rabbids is a better comparison, since they all use the Wii Remote in various ways (and with various degrees of success). If you have fewer than four players, the other slots must be taken by bots playing as the regular versions of Sonic's pals, and you unlock more by finding Fire Souls (this game's red rings) in the story mode. Blaze is here(!) but only as the final unlock for collecting ludicrous amounts of the buggers. The whole thing is pretty well fleshed out for a bonus side mode, although some minigames are just ass, and many others have you waiting your turn as the four players cycle through doing actions individually.

A final note on the music; Rivals 2 underused its main vocal track, while Secret Rings goes in the other direction, blaring the butt rock anthem "Seven Rings in Hand" at you constantly. Every single menu screen in the game has this song playing over it, so get used to hearing the first twenty seconds over and over again! Weird choice. The vocal level themes I enjoyed more, I found them more interesting stylistically and of course they don't overstay their welcome.

It's easy to write off Secret Rings as another speed bump in Sonic's 3D history and indeed the history of the games industry's attempts to meld traditional action games with the Wii's trendy motion controller. But as with even the most mediocre Sonic games, there's cool stuff in there even if it's hard to crack into it, like the world design or the soundtrack. I can't recommend the game at all but it's plain to see the art and work that went into it. The in-game unlockable gallery drives this home with each piece accompanied by comments from the game's developers, you love to see it even if most of the unlocks are impossibly locked behind getting good rankings.

[blujello]

1. I've told this story before but essentially my older sister let me play SC3 when i was like 6-ish bc she had it and i loved it but Siegfried scared the piss outta tiny me lmao

2. I've played all except Broken Destiny and Legends (tho i have every game including those two, i plan on playing them too)

3. Honestly a toss up between 1, 2 and 3 as i love all three (i like all the games obviously but those three are probably highest on the list)

4. Siegfried (i thought he was a girl)

5. Siegfried bc i love the range and just in general how he controls is fun to play (i love Kilik too tho)

6. Siegfried (specifically his SC3 design, bro looks beautiful and the armor looks great), Kilik again bc he looks great too (they both have face scars and look good), Aeon/Lizardman (I'm a furry/scalie so yknow this was natural)

7. Link and Ezio (Geralt was good too as far as theme but he was boring af personality-wise sorry *i haven't played as 2B yet but i like her so maybe her too but idk yet*)

8. Valeria for reasons, and Chester bc i love his design

9. Olcadan dammit bring him back i love him, he's silly and stupid

10. Honestly don't have one but Night Terror looks fuckn cool

11. Either Weapon Master or Mission Mode (Chronicles of the Sword too but idk if that counts)

12. Siegfried's story is mainly what got me so attached to his character, especially since while he's a good person, he's not necessarily a NICE person (as I've said he's a cocky little bitch and i love him for it), plus I'm a major sucker for redemption stories where a character genuinely struggles and bro struggles ALOT in his story but never gives up even when he fucks up royal

13. Soul Calibur, Double Crescent Blades and Jingu Staff from SC2, and as stupid as it looks Soul Calibur from SC4 is kinda cool and i sorta like it lmao (and Requiem from the games it's in It's simple but badass)

14. The stages with "Confrontation" as the theme song in 2 and 3, Ostreinsburg Chapel from SC2 (also bc of theme lmao), and Lost Cathedral from 3 (it's absolutely beautiful)

15. Sieg's theme in Soul Edge/Blade, Like i said in the last one "Confrontation" and "Raise Thy Sword", the Lost Cathedral theme in 3, and Ezio's theme in 5 (5 wasn't a great game but it had an absolute banger soundtrack)

16. "Sinners need no mercy...or sympathy" (the delivery is so good omg) (and a few others i just don't feel like listing them all lmao)

17. I love Zasalamel's SC4 ending bc it implies he's kinda watching over humanity with his reincarnation/immortal power and i like that it's kinda like a bittersweet peace for him

18. Neither bc i suck at both

19. Aside from Soul Edge/Blade (there's no contest there), i actually love SC5's opening with pre-time skip Siegfried fighting Nightmare, it looks fuckn awesome (just wish the rest of the game was good)

20. Some other dual wielder please we need more of them it's cool

21. For a realistic answer • honestly anyone from one of the medieval-esque Final Fantasy games (tho Bartz or Faris from FF5 would make me so happy, it wouldn't happen), for a pipe dream answer • either some kinda Pokemon (i.e Mewtwo, Lucario, Zoroark, Gardevoir, etc.), a Monster Hunter character, or a Fire Emblem character

22. The option to make female lizardmen please i just wanna make my ocs in peace

23. I love character creation, usually i just make ocs or alternative outfits for the cast

24. I wanna play online but I'm a weenie and i suck at these games even though i love them

25. Probably an anime or a mini series (i think it'd need more than just a movie's runtime to properly do the story unless they were just doing one game adaptation ig)

26. Ehhhh it's fine ig i like it, i think it's hilarious they made Siegfried such an emo weenie pretty boy (no hate to his VA tho Kirk Thornton did a great job imo)

27. Raphael being a vampire is certainly a choice, ig I'm so used to it since he's been that way since 3 so it doesn't bother me all too much but it's uhhhh yknow just kinda there

28. Bro wouldn't be able to move in that crystal armor, like it's pretty but damn impractical

29. They're.....there ig, Soul Calibur looks better than Soul Edge imo but they both just look like the SC1 versions

30. Honestly i never really use him but i like Aeon with all of them (SC1 Aeon is pretty good honestly even with not very good reach)

[novastellavox]

Hi, this is a rant. Viewer discretion is advised.

I've not had any work for not just weeks or months.... but a full year. And my parents say "You have vacation while we're working" and I get that... But I'm tired of it.

And no! I can't just 'get a job' or whatever. Working a 9-5 would end up with mad sexual tension between the tip of a knife and my ribcage. So that's a big fucking no for me.

I got adhd and autism... If I try to do a mini-job, I'll make it my entire personality until I inevitably get fired or fire a bullet into my skull because it's sucking my soul out of my body like it's a boba baha blast. I can't work social jobs like 'working behind the register' or 'customer support' or 'door saleswoman'.

My local job agency actually told me that I am not allowed to work jobs with necessary social interaction, intense stress, deadlines / time limits, inflexible work hours, long commute, or any sort of office job. Why? For fear of my safety and job longevity.

I don't have a driver's license yet for unrelated reasons... which basically means I can only really get a job in my town of roughly 14-20k people. You'd think there'd be a job fitting my needs.. and there are a few...

But

One of em rejected my applications two times... can't go back there... and the other doesn't train people.

Anygays... This is why I've been unemployed for one year. So why am I saying all of this?

I'm losing the ability to work for any amount of time.. I had driving lessons today ... 2 hours

When I'm tired, I easily get 'seconds of unawareness' even with medication.

And at the end of those driving lessons, I almost drove of the road TWICE. I am losing any amount of stress tolerance I have.

I am fucking tired. It's now the evening.. and I have no empathy or energy left.

[cindernovadoesart]

At the Mall ~~~~<POV Y/N>~~~~

The blaring calls from my alarm start up as the sun rays cascade across my face through the grime covered window of my studio apartment; squinting my eyes as I reach towards the dresser my hand grazing the top of the furniture as feel around for my phone. It takes a few seconds before I can grab it and look at the screen; only to be blinded by the bright light of the phone. A groan escapes my lips as my eyes adjust, finally realizing that my alarm was a warning for work this morning. Pressing the off button to the alarm was quite satisfying; rising up from my bed a little too quickly, dizzying myself for a moment as I stumble over to my dresser as I pull out the soul-sucking all black uniform. Setting it on top of my dresser to cover the window with a curtain before getting ready to start another day at the makeup stall. It’s not the greatest job but it’s better than babysitting at the moment, though it’s a tedious job, making sure the customers are happy with what they’re having done. Going to my mini fridge I pull out some leftover burritos from last night and begin eating it. Let’s be fair, I don’t think I would be able to cook food, nor grab some on the way. Speaking of which I should start heading out, the bus will be at the station soon and I don’t want to call cab. Grabbing a jacket and a bag I start heading out, locking my door as make my way down the apartment complex.

~~~~<POV Pizza Plex>~~~~

As we leave Y/N to make their way to work at the Pizza Plex in the repair room lays an bumblebee animatronic dressed similar to the glam rocks but in much softer materials and no painted designs on her eyes. Two engineers are conversing over the shut off animatronic as they are replacing her thin film covered wings with more durable plastic ones, as they find her defense weapon stinger is stuck inside halfway in her, locked in place. They both realize that they would have to take her fully apart in order to get the stinger unstuck. After calling in the owner to get some idea of what to do since Ms. Bumble has been quite a hit with the young children of the daycare, the boss decides that if they find something to cover the stinger to protect the kids for until they can find an appropriate day to take the stinger out finding that Sun and Moon are more than capable to protect the children as long as the Bumblebee notifies them. So the engineers look around for a bit before finding a skirt that suits the animatronic quite well and puts it on before turning the animatronic back on. Ms. Bumble looks around as the engineers give a short explanation of what was upgraded and why she has a skirt, letting her know that they will bring her back at some point to take out the stinger. The lead her back to the daycare and put her in a charging station so she’ll be ready for the day. The owner after the call interrupted their morning they continued their journey to advertise a new hire for a daycare assistant, asking many stores and newspapers to hold information about the new position.

~~~~<POV Y/N>~~~~

After a long bus ride, I can finally walk in the mall and go to the makeup stall, to get set up and ready for customers coming in, my coworker Daisy welcomes me with a warm smile as she waves her hand frantically. “Goodmorning! You excited to start work today?” She exclaims as she continues to set up her products and brushes. “As excited as one can be” I replied with a slight cheerful voice back. ”Well as far as I know there’s going to be a party of kids going to the Pizza Plex today, my niece told me that her friends might stop by here to get makeup done for the party.” ”Ah, so they also might need face paint along with makeup? I’m glad I brought some with me.” I murmured towards Daisy as I pull out the bright neon face paint and placed it on my set up. ”I didn’t think about that! You’re a live saver Y/N!” Daisy grins ”it’s no problem, I hadn’t been able to go to Pizza Plex in a long time now, beside could never convince myself to put on face paint for it.” “well considering how you went through a cyber goth faze, it’s surprising you haven’t used them at all.” ”yup” Something in the distance catches my eye on a pinboard in a hall, I decided to wait until my break to head over and see what the flyer is. But for now the mall is about to open, and customers will be coming in; I continue to finish up setting out makeup and face paint on display and open the cabinets underneath to put my bag in and prepare for customers. ****<Timeskip>**** It’s about time to take my break, and I’m currently working on a kiddo of the big party that’s heading to the pizzaplex, the little girl wanted to have Chica’s makeup, which was pretty easy, I’m just about done, and Daisy should be back from her break. “Alright kiddo, we’re done!” I say as I give her a mirror “what do you think?” I watch as the kiddo eyes widen in amazement as she grins widely “I love it!” ”I’m glad you do! Now thank you all for stopping by, you all have fun at the Pizza Plex.” I say smiling as I help the little girl off the seat and take the mirror back. The mother of the birthday girl comes up and hands over some cash “thank you for everything, they all are thrilled to be looking like their favorite animatronics, this should be enough to pay for all of them.” ”thank you ma’am, you should start heading off now.” ”Yes of course, thank you once again, I would’ve done it if I had the supplies.” The mother walks off and gathers most of the kids to start heading back to their car. Waving the kiddos goodbye, the sudden feeling of cold presses against my neck causing me jump and squeak as I hear the giggle of my co-worker. ”Daaaaaiiiisy, don’t do thaaaat.” I whined out as I turned to face her. ”hehe, I’m sorry I brought some of your fav ice cream to thank you for dealing with the kiddos while I was on break.” Daisy gabbed as she handed me a cup of (fav Ice cream) from the ice cream shop not too far from here. “You are forgiven for now…” I muttered as I looked back over to the hallway with the pinboard. ”I’ll take it, well how’d the kiddos like their looks?” Daisy asks as a gleam of curiosity sparks in her eyes. “They loved it, the birthday girl especially.” I muttered as I began eating the ice cream. “I’m going to take my break now, talk later byeeeee.” I say in a annoying tone as I see one of our regular Karen coming over. Daisy noticed my swift exit and gave me a glare before going back into customer service mode. I giggled a bit before wandering over to the pin board to see what the flyer was about. As I traveled closer I read the bold letters of ‘HELP WANTED’ when I finally got close enough I began to read the flyer posted, underneath the Help Wanted it shows a picture of the superstar daycare with the sun and moon animatronics as well as a newer animatronic bee; the flyer gives details of what the employer is looking for and leaves a phone number and email for questions, and to walk in to get an application for the job. This would be better than staying here. I take a quick picture and head to the food court.

[kittenfangirl20]

*when Adam wasn’t eating his feelings, buying tons of junk he claimed were collectibles, or watching porn, he was crying, Lute just gathered Adam up in her arms as he cried, she even started to notice Adam’s stomach was getting rounder and softer from all the ice cream and whipped cream, she had known for so long that Adam was deeply in love with Lucifer so this and the Eden incident probably left Adam devastated*

Lute: Sir please think of the baby, soon you’ll be mom and that baby will need you.

Adam: My baby…….

*Adam just placed his hand on his stomach and cried even more, Lute would have stayed longer if there wasn’t a new client, this was some woman named Rita who was obsessed with psychic stuff and claimed she went to hotel where a ghost killed*

Lute: I hate to burst your bubble, but when a human dies they either end up here or up there, there are no ghosts.

*just then Adam burst out of the office with a manic smile with tears still in his eyes*

Adam: Did I hear ghosts, we gotta take this job so I can be like Bethany Ghostfucker.

*Lute then gave a deadpan look at Rita*

Lute: We are only taking this job because it got my very depressed and pregnant boss out of the office and we need money.

*later Lute and Adam were filling the van up to go to Earth while Emily and Cain stayed to looked over the finances, Lute gave a distressed Emily a kiss on the lips before getting in the van with Adam, Adam used the crystal to open a portal to Earth right in front of a hotel with a cemetery out front and Lute got out of the van*

Lute: Why do I have a feeling that if we stayed in Heaven we would have had to deal with a hotel that would be a bigger thorn in our side than this one?

*but Lute’s jaw dropped when Adam burst out of the van, he was now dressed as Bethany Ghostfucker, wig, makeup, hat, mini dress, tights, and boots, Adam even had that ghost sucking backpack on as well as a vibrator in one of his hands, the only thing that Adam kept from his usual outfit was the brooch Sera gave him and his soul patch*

Adam: Let’s go fuck some ghosts!!!!!

*Lute and Adam walked into the hotel where the owner was sitting at the front desk was the owner Ronaldo, Lute was creeped out by the guy when he looked at Adam and licked his lips, while Lute wasn’t sexually or romantically attracted to Adam, she could acknowledge that he was a attractive man that others wanted to have sex with, but she felt Ronaldo was having this reaction not because he wanted to fuck Adam, but for some other equally creepy reasons*

Adam: I am Bethany Ghostfucker, you may have heard of my movies. I came here to see if this is a good place to shoot my next movie.

Ronaldo: Dear Miss Ghostfucker, I would be honored to have a movie star stay at my hotel, I will have a room set up for you and your camera woman.

*he brought out a bellhop who was a disturbed hunchback who looked like it caused him physical pain to even blink and only said bitch over and over again*

Lute: Thank you….. I think…..

*they were taken to a room and when they were alone, Adam was ready to go find a ghost*

Lute internally: I hope that Lucifer is suffering as well because if he isn’t I am going to kick his ass for breaking Adam’s heart again.

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

(I am just imagining Adam dressed like this and I love it)

Stoliz Au

Adam sipped on his coffee out of his "Hell's Greatest Boss" mug as he overlooked Pentagram City. His workers, Lute and Emily were at the conference table trying to figure out ways they could get to the human world.

Adams oldest son Cain sat there on his phone looking very interested in anything that had to do with work.

Here at Adams Angelic Assassination, they started out by protecting sinners. Either from other demons or from angels on extermination day.

Turns out people would pay a pretty penny to have someone on earth killed.

It has been a few years since Adam was cast out of heaven for questioning things. They took his halo and his powers before casting him down.

Lute and Emily didn't want him to be alone in Hell so they willingly fell. Adam reconnected with his son who was homeless at the time.

They all needed money so that's when Adam came up with the idea for his business.

Lute sighed: It's impossible! There is no way to the human releam without our angelic powers.

Emily: It's okay Lute, we'll figure something out.

Adam turned: She's right Lute! And I actually have a plan.

Lute: You do?

Adam: I do. I know of a book and where I can get it. It's our ticket up top.

Yes Adam knew where to get this book, but could he sneak in and out without being noticed.

Emily: How will you get it?

Adam smirked: Leave it to me and my stealth skills.

*Adam scouted out the royal palace, he knew the largest collection of demonic grimoires were housed in the Morningstar palace including one that could take him to Earth, thankfully Adam still had his angel wings so he fly over the gates surrounding the palace, there was a party going on, his eyes went to Lucifer who was off in a corner drinking while Lilith was talking with her friends, Adam’s heart filled with longing over seeing his first love, but Adam was here for a reason and it was to get a spell book, he hid his wings thankful for the all black outfit he took to wearing now that he could use to hide in the shadows, but before he could open the door to Lucifer’s room, he was tackled by a pair of hellhounds who dragged him to Lucifer*

Adam: Shit.

*Lucifer was chugging down a bottle of absinthe when he saw a pair of hellhound guards drag Adam in front of him, Adam had a sheepish smile on his face and he couldn’t help but realize how handsome Adam was, in fact he had a strong desire to pin Adam to the bed and have his way with him since he hadn’t shared a bed with Lilith since Charlie was born*

Hellhound 1: We saw this man trying to sneak into your room.

Hellhound 2: What should we do with him?

Lucifer: I will deal with him myself, don’t tell anyone what you saw.

*the hellhounds handed Adam over to Lucifer and the former angel reluctantly followed Lucifer up to his room, once they were alone Adam became nervous*

Adam: Look, I can explain-

*Adam’s words were cut off when Lucifer kissed him on the lips, Adam found himself returning the kiss enjoying the feeling*

Lucifer: I missed you so much Adam, in more ways than one.

*Adam felt himself getting wet with desire, one of the punishments was they took away Adam’s favorite thing, his dick, before throwing him out of Heaven and now he had a pussy instead much to his annoyance, but now he saw a way to use it to his advantage and it would give him something he had always wanted*

Adam: You realized what you missed out on and now you can have it.

Lucifer: Yes.

*they ended up on the bed, they kissed as they frantically pulled off their clothes down to their underwear, Lucifer rubbed the underwear covered erection against the wet area of Adam’s panties, they pulled off their underwear and Lucifer slid into Adam, Adam had to hold back a moan of pleasure by biting into Lucifer’s shoulder which made Lucifer even more turned on, Adam moved his hips along with Lucifer’s thrusts, after a long and passionate dance on the bed, Adam climaxed and Lucifer cum inside of Adam*

Lucifer: That was amazing, is there a way I could convince you to come around more often.

Adam: Maybe if you let me borrow a grimoire to help me with my new job.

Lucifer: Done, but you must come back to me at least once a month. How about full moon night?

*Lucifer had the grimoire appear in Adam’s hands*

Adam: Sounds perfect to me.

*they both fell asleep, Lucifer holding Adam and Adam holding the grimoire, in the morning Adam had to get dressed and sneak out, but before he could sprout his wings, he fell off the balcony and onto the table which had Lilith having breakfast with her friends.

Adam: Sorry, I fucked your husband….. actually I’m not sorry.

*Adam sprouted his wings and flew off*

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

[yourplayersaidwhat]

(Little bit of context, this is a mini campaign where we were required to play monsters, or at least nonhumans, because humans are rare)

DM: so, then, are your parents alive?

Me, playing an incubus: oh, yeah. happily married. both succubus/incubus.

DM: would you rather them be soul-sucking succubus and incubus that work 9-5 jobs, or like strippers?

Me, after some contemplation: my mom sucks souls by working HR and my dad is a stripper.

DM: who makes more money?

Me: my Magic Mike stripper dad, obviously

[academicdisasterfic]

Threshing

drarry | 1.5k | e

A slightly late gift for the lovely @anaxandria-writes for @drarrymicrofic Wheel of Drarry mini-exchange. Thank you to my love @wolfpants for the fantastic beta.

CW for chronic/terminal illness (but with a happy ending).

Years later, Draco would think it all began when the bartender asked him, ‘Would you like the shiraz, sir, or the tempranillo?’

‘Tempranillo,’ Draco said, but as it transpired, they had run out of the tempranillo, and the bartender had to dash out to the back for more, despite Draco’s protests that the shiraz would be fine.

Draco was left to tap his fingers on the wooden counter, and as he gazed aimlessly around the crowded room, he wondered  whether thirty was going to feel any different to twenty-nine.

And that’s when he saw him; lingering by the door, flannel rolled up to his elbows, dark stubble covering his jaw. He looked tired, and Draco knew, knew before he even saw the string appear between them. He didn’t hesitate; it was like drawing breath, walking over to him, and Harry looked so relieved, as if he’d been waiting for this exact moment, even though neither of them could have known, as these things were never able to be predicted, not even by the most gifted Seers or centaurs.

The string shortened and drew them together, and Draco reached out his hand to cup Harry’s face.

‘You look tired,’ Draco said, and Harry leant into his neck, inhaling, grabbing Draco’s waist, drawing their bodies together, fitting Draco’s hip bones against his. Draco gasped.

‘Of course it’d be you,’ Harry muttered, and then, ‘we’re going back to mine.’

They fucked in the kitchen, over dirty dishes and piles of unread mail on the sticky counter, Harry eating Draco from behind until Draco couldn’t take it and wrestled them to the ground, sinking down on Harry’s cock and riding him against the hard wooden floor.

They fucked on the sofa, Draco opening Harry quickly and efficiently so he could take him from behind, Harry whimpering harder, harder into the cushions.

They fucked in Harry’s bed, this time slow and reverent, Harry sucking Draco’s nipples until Draco was thrashing and sobbing, arching up and begging to be touched, and then Harry pushed into him and held his face between his huge, calloused hands. That's when Draco fell in love with him; fell in love as Harry covered him and held him like a precious, beloved thing, like he couldn't believe he was allowed to love, and be loved, by him.

After, spent and exhausted, Draco looked at where the string joined them, and asked, ‘Why now?’

Harry smiled, crooked and sweet, and kissed the back of Draco’s palm.

‘Probably because I’m dying.’

…

People weren’t supposed to be Horcruxes.

When Voldemort destroyed the part of his soul that lived inside Harry, Harry’s magical core didn’t know what to do. It had spent seventeen years growing and shaping itself around something that was no longer there, and it rebelled.

Harry hadn’t noticed for the first five years or so, too lost in the aftershocks of peace. But then he noticed the exhaustion, then the heart palpitations, the weird visions, the way he couldn’t quite cast like he used to. And by the time the Healers had figured out what had happened, it was far too late.

Back then, he still had good days, and Draco took advantage of them; dragged them out to the mountains, to the seaside, to gay clubs and bars and parades. He moved into Harry’s flat and quit his job so they could spend the bad days in bed together, doing the Prophet crossword and drinking tea and watching daytime soaps. He couldn’t feel Harry’s pain exactly, not like in the soulmate stories he was told as a child, but sometimes he did think he knew Harry better than he knew himself; knew the meaning of an eyebrow twitch, or a downturned lip, or a slight hand tremor. Loving Harry had been easy, effortless; like falling through clouds, and then when Harry was writhing in spasms, or sleeping through whole days, or waking in sweats and shouts, it was more painful than Draco had ever imagined pain could be.

Sometimes, Harry would get distant and withdraw, wracked with guilt that the bond hadn’t given Draco a choice but to care for him. Draco would get angry that Harry could even conceive of such a thing; even contemplate the thought of them not being together. Harry still wanted to put everyone else before himself, and Draco was still the same spoiled boy who wanted more than he should. He never made any apologies for that.

Sex became more gentle, with more laughter. Draco snorted into Harry’s mouth once when Harry tried to wrap his legs around him and his entire back cracked; Draco placed pillows under his head and knees instead, and sank down on him slowly, just like the first time, only now appreciating every detail; the greys in Harry’s hair that Draco actually thought were really fucking sexy, the soft dark hair beneath his navel, the dark circles beneath his eyes that refused to budge. 

Sometimes Harry couldn’t finish, and Draco would try not to be upset about it. If he was, it was never in front of Harry.

…

The summer they both turned thirty five, Harry stopped being able to cast.

He was still magical; Draco could feel it, even when Harry couldn’t, could feel the golden warmth surrounding him, and could also feel its frustration, the way Harry’s magic so desperately wanted to escape and couldn’t.

Things got worse after that.

Harry’s fits were worse, and he was addled and confused after, taking hours to come back to himself. Draco could only sit by the bed and stroke his hair, read to him, watch as Longbottom and Lovegood came in with increasingly bizarre herbal concoctions which never did anything, but Draco appreciated them both anyway, the way they teased Harry, reminded him who he was.

Granger and Weasley were more distressed and less able to be funny, but they tried as hard as they could. Rose liked to snuggle next to Harry after his fits, tell him about her friends and teachers, knowing he wouldn’t remember the details but was always soothed by her voice.

Teddy didn’t visit very much, which Draco couldn’t blame him for; he’d lost enough parents.

One morning, Draco was woken up by Harry’s lips on his neck, and his hand over his stomach.

‘I want you to give the Invisibility Cloak to Hugo,’ he whispered. Draco’s blood ran cold. ‘James and Sirius’ mirror to Ron. The Potter fortune to Teddy. Everything else is yours.’

Draco wanted to scream at him. To point to the string, still a vibrant red connecting them, and ask him how he could even fathom leaving Draco; why his body didn’t love Draco enough to keep fighting, to stay alive. 

But Harry had already fallen asleep again.

…

Not even Voldemort had dared approach the fae. They took more than they gave, always, but as long as the thing they gave Draco was Harry, he didn’t care what he’d sacrifice.

The Forbidden Forest was very dark, and very quiet.

‘You called,’ came a voice. The fae never showed themselves. 

‘I require your help,’ Draco said, voice firm. 

‘For your mate?’

‘Yes.’ Draco tried to imagine Harry, seventeen and terrified, walking to his death out here. He just had to be half as brave, and he could do this. And then he thought about Harry in their bed, skin blotchy and grey, his body shaking in pain, and everything else faded into insignificance. ‘He’s dying. And he saved you too, that day.’

‘That’s debatable.’ The voice sounded vaguely affronted, and Draco stared stonily ahead. ‘It would have taken more than a mere human to eradicate us.’

‘I know. But it would have been harder without Harry.’ Draco squeezed his eyes closed. ‘You would have had to leave the Forest.’

Something squawked overhead, startling Draco's eyes open. The stars were very bright.

‘You do have the power to save your mate,’ the voice echoed, seeming closer, and Draco’s heart soared. ‘But something must be given; energy cannot be destroyed or created. A life cannot be created from anything other than a life. Do you understand?’

Harry was never going to forgive him. Draco was okay with that.

…

Years later, Draco would think it all actually began when the bartender asked him, ‘What do you want tonight, sir?’

Draco flicked his gaze over him, and the bartender flushed. ‘Usual spot, Sebastian. Five minutes.’

Pulses thrummed in the dark, smoky room. The night smelled like sex; arousal and sweat and blood.

Harry had started by the time he got out there. Sebastian was always too keen. It was one of the things they liked about him.

‘Hello,’ Draco said, amused, and Harry unlatched himself from the young man’s neck. He was so beautiful like this; selfish and greedy and so very alive.

Or a version of it.

‘Does he taste good, Harry?’ Draco asked. Harry and Sebastian groaned at the same time. ‘My turn.’

He did taste good, Draco thought with satisfaction. Sebastian moaned as Draco pressed his hardness against him, eyes rolling back in pleasure. Behind them, Harry was panting, and when Draco finally sent Sebastian back inside with a Blood-Replenishment Potion and a quick cleaning charm, Harry was on him in seconds.

‘Here?’ Draco asked, amused, and Harry growled softly.

‘I can’t wait.’ His voice was gruff and low and his eyes were trained on Draco’s lips. Draco smiled and lifted his hand to cup Harry’s face, string dangling between them, blood-red and taut.

‘Sweetheart. We have time.’

[askthestans]

Dear Stanford Pines.

As Stanley has Stanleymobile as his own personal transportation, do you have any plans for vehicles of you own? Or, prefer using public transport? Rather come up with a completely different solution like portable portal?

Stanford: Well, my real Earth driving license - before Stanley started getting ones made in my name - expired over thirty years ago, and my licenses to operate hoverboards, starships, mass relays, and teleporters are useless for obvious reasons.

Normally, I'd be fine just walking everywhere to keep in peak shape, but sometimes the occasional trip outside of town is necessary. I'd ask Stanley to drive me around, but ever since the Ireland incident...

Stanley: Ford, that was almost a year ago! 'Sides, I was gonna rob 'em eventually anyway. Hittin' that stumpy drunken jerk with our car was just makin' my job easier. It's not my fault he looked like a traffic cone with all that carrot hair.

Stanford: We went to Ireland to study leprechauns, Stan. Not steal from and turn them into roadkill.

Stanley: Maybe you went for nerd studies, but I followed along for the whiskey. And the pretty green hills to stare at during hangover recovery.

Stanford: Really? Because I seem to remember that somebody had the chutzpah to not only steal the dead leprechaun’s wallet, but drop it in front of his family while I was trying to apologize to them for your first thievery attempt at their pot of gold, and because somebody dropped my pistol into the ocean while drunk the night before, we had to desecrate a historical castle by stealing old bricks from it to fight said leprechauns off with. 

And then, when we ran out of those, you tripped me so that they could maul me instead because, as you so eloquently put it, “Sorry, Sixer, but you’ll be thankin’ me later!” as you hurried towards the ship with the gold and not me.

Even better, we then spent the night in jail when the authorities realized who’d disturbed a castle wall, the cell of which just so happened to have a resident banshee who screeched for hours.

Stanley: Oh, Mebh! Minus the creepy wailing, that gal sure knew how to spin an entertainin' story! Too bad she didn't get to marry that medieval Lord McCrane or whatever his name was. But I liked her gumption. Best prison buddy I've ever had, and that's includin' Rico. Was the first time I realized maybe not all your supernatural creep buddies are so bad.

Stanford: She murdered that lord’s wife in cold blood, Stan.

Stanley: Yeah, reminds me of when I drove that hippy's van - y'know, the one who swiped Carla from me - into a ravine. She agreed that I was perfectly in the right for that. Asked me if I wanted her to find him and finish the job, even. I had a hard time sayin' no, but I did the right thing and said-

Stanford: You merely shrugged. Merely.

Stanley: Hey, if that jerk gets his soul sucked out, serves 'im right.

Stanford: Also, would you like to tell our internet friends what you sacrificed me to the leprechauns for? Why I got covered in bite marks, and why my sweater was ripped away in tatters and I had to run back to the ship shirtless with a leprechaun hanging off my rear with his teeth that left a rainbow imprint there for a week afterwards?

Stanley: It was for the gold, we already covered that.

Stanford: What did you spend the gold on, Stanley?

Stanley: *shrugs* I promised Mabel I’d get her some fancy yarn made of real wool. What’s wrong with that?

Stanford: Yes, two coins of the gold went towards that. The other hundreds of pieces went towards you buying rounds for a whole tavern the next night. You got drunk again. You puked. On my... trench coat.

Stanley: Pfft, you had tons more anyway-

Stanford: Nobody defiles my trench coat!

Stanley: Yeesh, I did you a favor, Ford. You’re lucky nobody barfed on it before that just lookin’ at it.

Stanford: *sighs* Anyways, I’m never trusting Stan behind a wheel ever again. I’ve been working on a mini-portal device based on some blueprints I sto- I mean, borrowed from my good friend Rick Sanchez. Once that’s up and running, I’ll have to test it. 

What do you say, Stan? Want to help your old brother out by testing a teleportation device? I’ll make sure it goes right to Ireland, to a very specific spot where a very angry family of leprechauns are still waiting, and have already gotten a taste for Pines gluteal meat.

Stanley: Oh, come on, you wouldn’t actually do that to me, would you? I apologized, like, a million times!

Stanford: Of course not, Stan. I am a man of science, and I understand that petty, precisely planned and enacted at the most inconvenient of times revenge is a silly human folly that one should strive to surpass.

Stanley: Oh. Well, good. Oddly, specific, but good.

--- ONE WEEK LATER ---

*Stan is walking down the Shack hallway towards the kitchen. Dipper, Mabel, and Ford are already there, Ford having made them breakfast.*

Stanley: Tell me you made some for me, too? 

Stanford: *turns around from the stove* I’m afraid not, Stan. You’ve got a big day ahead of you. You won’t have time to eat, remember?

Dipper: Is it shoplift-for-Summerween day already?

Mabel: Wait, I know! It’s National Grunkles Day, isn’t it!?

Stanford: No to both. Stanley, care to take a guess? It involves a certain show of yours.

Stanley: *face scrunches in fear* Wait, I thought The Duchess Approves’ reboot wasn’t ‘til next week?

Stanford: No, it’s today. Which is why I made sure to finish this last night.

*Ford pulls out a small device and, with a pistol-quick draw, causes a swirling teal portal to open up in the floor. Through it, rolling green hills and a group of red-haired, gnome-like creatures can be seen a little ways off.

Ford trips Stan as Stan looks to peer inside. Stan’s yelling can be heard as he falls in and hits ground.*

Stanford: Wait, Stanley! Look back up! Take my hand and I’ll get you out.

*Stan reaches up back to the portal, but just as he almost reaches Ford’s hand, Ford pulls it away.*

Stanford: My trench coat is beautiful.

*Stan screeches as a horde of leprechauns catch sight of him and take chase. Ford stands back up with a cat-like smile as he looks down upon sweet, sweet revenge, then takes his current trench coat by the collar and pops it out smugly.*

Hey, kids?

Dipper and Mabel: *look on in stunned silence*

Stanford: Now that I know this portal gun works and we have a few hours until Stan’s favorite show is done airing, care to help me find the Mothman? I have a particular dimension full of acid-vomiting, murderous bear-scorpions I’d like to send him to.