#and that last bit about him being decent rep is just a collection of my own thoughts and opinions. I just find him super relatable

[pinksilvace]

Oh, man, I definitely relate to that. Obsessively worrying about my dog is pretty frequent for me, and I'd like to talk about one of my own experiences.

(cw // intrusive thoughts, mentions of animal neglect (kind of))

A while back, I had been left alone in my house for a few days with only the dog for company, and she's great. I love her. She's the sweetest, most affectionate pet you can imagine. It's also really hard for the two of us to be alone together because my compulsions usually surround the concept of cleanliness and she is, after all, a dog.

During this time, my mind was trying to convince me that she had rabies. There wasn't a specific precursor to this, but the thought wouldn't leave me alone. It became hard for me to even be in the same room as her. Feeding her was hard because it meant touching her food bowl. Walking was hard (harder than usual, anyway, because the outside world is FULL of "contaminants") because I was extra vigilant about her not catching anything that she hadn't already; it hurt to let her so much as sniff grass.

When she wanted to cuddle in the evening, like we usually do, I wanted to run away. It was terrifying. I also couldn't do anything to fix it, and it only got better when the rest of my household returned.

In a way, that specific pattern of thoughts isn't so different from what Philip experienced, albeit to a wildly different severity. I had felt like my dog had an affliction even though I knew there was little to no basis for that idea; Philip thought his brother had an affliction, and he had been raised not only to think that it was real, but that the consequence was the loss/ruin of his brother's soul. I had also only been isolated for a few days, but it can be inferred that Philip had been largely on his own for years. Worst of all, I had found my dog more than repulsive, regardless of how much I adore her. That parallel should be pretty obvious.

I think that one of the strangest things about Belos' OCD is that, as far as depictions of OCD go, it's honestly not half bad. Sure, it's taken to cartoonishly villainous proportions, but I wouldn't expect anything less from a character like him. His obsessions make perfect sense for his story and neither his thoughts nor his compulsions are ever treated as a gag or a joke. He could have been the scrupulosity edition of Death the Kid, but he wasn't.

In my opinion, the issue of Belos' OCD comes more from the context surrounding it than anything else. If he wasn't the only character with OCD, had a significant narrative foil, and/or had his disorder apply to something other than just his villainy, it might have actually been a pretty significant depiction for a kid's show.

Thank you so much for your post. I have OCD and Belos's depiction has always bothered me in some way, but you finally put it in words.

(Also, I would actually argue Hunter has it too--a particular scene that really resonated with me in this regard is in Thanks to Them when he sees his long hair in the mirror and convinces himself that it means he's literally going to become Belos, and he has to cut it all off so that doesn't happen.)

(the other post)

YEAH!!! A good argument can definitely be made for both Belos and Hunter. Darius comes to mind, as well.

I have OCD as well, and since Belos is my favorite character, I must admit that I enjoy being able to relate to him in this way. The bigger problem is that, as far as canon is concerned, he's the only character with OCD, and it's what drives him to become the evil-evil self-interested "not genuine" villain. If toh had bothered to explore his backstory and express some sympathy toward his character, it probably wouldn't have felt so awkward, but alas.

The thing is, folks with OCD can fall into patterns of self-reassurance and disordered thinking very easily. Something I didn't mention in the last post is the link between OCD and psychosis (x x), which often prominently shows itself through delusions - a symptom that Belos expresses in conjunction with and as a result of his OCD, and one informed greatly by his traumatic childhood.

So much of Belos' character was informed by Caleb's death. His mission might have gone from saving humanity to seeking revenge; we don't get enough insight to know whether that was the case. What we do know is that he was (mostly) alone for a very long time afterward, stewing in obsessive thoughts and reassuring himself again and again with both the things he was taught and the losses he's felt as justification. He can't be wrong; the "or else" isn't an option.

Seeing the show say "he sucks because he just inherently has this disordered thinking" didn't feel good. As somebody with OCD, I recognized his disordered thought patterns. I have those disordered thought patterns, and I'm constantly forced to be careful not to fall into them the same way. Belos is an example of somebody with a disorder that lost the only form of a support system he ever had, and instead of resolving his story with an opportunity to either break out of those disordered thoughts or be destroyed by them, toh just said, "he's evil, so he should die" without the nuance demanded for the main villain. Once again, I need to stress that no other character in the show has canonical OCD.

Alas, OCD is misrepresented so often that I'm not even sure whether the creators realized that they wrote Belos to have it at all.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML fic: The Hunt

(Warning, Contains Blood, and Graphic Violence)

(Happy Birthday @masked-bixch )

(I hope you enjoy the present at the end)

A man in a trench coat carrying a duffel bag walked into the sewers of Paris.

He was of a decent build and average height, not buff, not scrawny. His hair was short and jet black. He had a pencil mustache and kept most of his face hidden by the use of his hat. If needed he could likely slip into a crowd without notice.

He had heard of the bizzare events that have been occurring in Paris, a place were sad people get possessed by evil bugs and fight superheroes. It would sound insane if there wasn’t video proof.

What really was insane was the recent bounty that popped up. One that many would consider a practical joke. In fact, many thought it was done as a way to flush out greedy hitmen.

10 million Euros for Ladybug and Chat noir.

It was such a rediculous idea. Hiring an assassin to kill superheroes.

He didn’t understand why he was even bothering to check out the legitimacy of this insane bounty. Was it boredom? Perhaps hope for a challenge. He had been in this field for 20 years now, and he really wanted a way to prove himself. Not many people know it, but hitmen are arrogant egomaniacs. Reputation is as valuable as gold. If he could pull it off, then his rep would be without question.

He followed the directions to the rendezvous point, and he was shocked to see that this was legit.

In front of him stood a man in a purple suit and a silver mask, a metal briefcase in his hand. Even he knew that this was the villain of Paris, the super terrorist, Hawkmoth.

“So, it was real.” The man in the trench coat stated, an amused smile graced his face.

“I take it you are interested in the assignment.” The masked man questioned, keeping a serious face.

“I was curious about this strange bounty that popped up. Many people in my circle think it’s a set up to a sting operation.”

“Yet you came anyway?”

“I figured a cop wouldn’t be so brazen with their trap.”

Hawkmoth didn’t react to the man’s comments.

“Can I get the name of the man I’m hiring?”

“You can call me Hunter. You of all people should know the importance of a civillain identity being kept secret.” Hunter mused

Hawkmoth nodded.

“Very well. Hunter, your assignment is to get me the Miraculous of Ladybug and Chat noir, whether they are dead or alive is no concern of mine.”

Hunter looked at the villain before chuckling.

“So, your use of gloomy people has been so ineffective you needed to actually hire someone.”

Hawkmoth was not amused.

“So, if I take the job. Do I get some special equipment to deal with these freaks? Or will I be able to put a bullet in their skulls without a problem.

“The miraculous enhances their natural durability to superhuman levels. So long as their wearing the miraculous, normal weapons won’t be able to do much against them. A typical bullet would be a bug bite at worst.”

Hunter scoffed.

“Figured.”

Hawkmoth smiles.

“But, I can give you the edge you need.”

He reveals his Cane and opens the dome on top of it to reveal a black butterfly.

“A butterfly? I hope you are joking.”

“Trust me. This will be more then enough”

“Alright, show the cash. I need to make sure I aint getting stiffed.”

Hawkmoth tosses the suit case to the assassin.

He opens the case and his eyes go wide, a dark grin appears on his face.

“Let me just check to make sure its real.”

Hunter quickly pulls a bundle of bills and examines them, it was real. It was legit.

“And they say crime doesn't pay.” 

“Consider that a down payment. Should you succeed, you will be receiving payments over the course of 5 years.”

Hunter closes the case.

“I want those payments in American bills. Cant exactly stick around here spending this cash.”

“Your demands will be met. Now, shall we begin?”

_______________________________________________________________________

“Another quiet Patrol. Seems that Hawkmoth might have Migrated for the winter.” The cat themed costume quipped.

“I don’t trust this. Don't you find it off Chat noir? Its been over a month since the last akuma attack.” The red clad heroine commented.

“Relax Ladybug, maybe Hawkmoth felt humiliated after the 30th akumatization of Mr.Pigeon and decided to take up stamp collecting.”

Ladybug moved to the edge of the roof they were on to get a better view of the area. The night was quite peaceful, even for the city at night. Something felt very wrong.

Chat noir’s ear twitched as he picked up on something.

“Duck!”

Chat noir tackled Ladybug out of the way just barely avoiding a small incoming projectile.

“What was that?”

Ladybug looked in the direction of where the object came from.

“Roll!”

Ladybug rolled with Chat noir avoiding the next few attacks.

“What in Plagg’s name is going on!?” Chat noir questioned. Confused by the sudden attack.

The two got up.

“We need to move.” 

The two started to move across rooftops.

“Looks like Hawkmoth decided to get his lazy butt up again.”

“Chat noir Focus, this akuma is sniping at us.”

“Yea, its probably wants to capture us like with Desperada. We should avoid getting hit.”

The akuma looked away from his scope.

His clothes took the colors of the environment around him. His eyes blood red and his pupils like those of an eagle. He had a black mask cover his face, which also acted similar to his clothing. He was as stealthy as a chameleon. and as deadly as a Cobra.

“Damn, they are quicker then I expected. I guess that explains the high cost.”

He got up from his spot and stretched.

“I guess this is where the real fun begins.”

He goes into his bag to change his sniper rifle for two sleek  Desert Eagle Pistols.

“Gotta admit Hawky. You really suited me up. I can just think of a weapon and bam, I can pull it right out of my bag. I am pretty damn sure these are illegal here.”

A purple butterfly outline appeared over his eyes.

“Remember Hero Hunter, these aren't just copies. Thanks to the powers I gifted you, those weapons are lethal, even to them. That includes if they are turned on you as well.”

“Yea Yea, I am well aware of the powers. I get their magic trinkets, and take them back to you. And I can kill them if I want to.”

“Just be sure you succeed.”

“Noted.”

Hero hunter Dashed along the roof tops after the two. He was planning on doing two quick shots then clean up. But perhaps he can enjoy an up close kill.

_______________________________________________________________________

“We need to find a place to regroup and think of a way to handle this akuma.”

“Agreed, I hate when the akuma hides like this. It is super annoying.” Chat noir spat.

“Good thing I am not hiding.”

The two heroes stopped to see the akuma appear in front of them.

He was wearing camouflage that seemed to shift to the correct colors of his environment at will. He looked like a mix of a soldier and a game hunter. But what caught the two heroes attention were the two pistols in his hands.

“Are those guns? Like actual guns!?” Chat noir questioned in disbelief.

The akuma smirked.

“Desert Eagle. .44 Magnum. Always buy American.” He said as he pointed his gun at the cat.

“Now, hand over the miraculous, or I turn you both in to Swiss cheese.”

“Hate to tell you this, but those won't do anything to us. Got some impressive Invulnerability. At best those will be an annoy...”

Chat noir heard the click of the barrel but was caught off guard by the bullet the went through his thigh

“AGH!!!!” Chat noir Screamed as blood spilled out of the hole. He grabbed his Thigh as he fell down on one knee, reeling from the pain.

“So much for your durability.” He mocked. “Now last chance, or next shot goes through your skull.”

Ladybug felt a chill go down her spine. This was nothing like the other akuma attacks. This was a true life or death battle. Hawkmoth was playing for keeps!

He lined up his next shot for his head but his arm was snagged by a yo-yo. The sudden movement made him release his gun.

“You get away from him you monster!” Ladybug screamed in rage.

The akuma growled and turned his other hand to her, trying to shoot her.

Ladybug quickly jumped in the air, narrowly avoiding the bullets. He cursed as he realized he needed to reload.

Ladybug took this chance to scoop up Chat noir and get him out of there.

“Sneaky bug.” He muttered angrily. He was done playing nice. He didn't care if they were kids. They were making a mockery of him, and he has a reputation to maintain.

He goes into his bag and pulls out something much bigger.

“This will be perfect for Exterminating that bug.”

______________________________________________________________________

“Ghhh.” Chat noir bit his lip to hold in his pain as Ladybug put pressure on the wound.

“Okay, so we have an akuma with weapons that ignore our durability.”Ladybug stated as she was trying to figure out a plan.

“Figured that one out. Thankfully, I can heal quick. I think the bleeding is stopping.” 

Chat noir managed to stand up. He grunted in pain as he kept himself standing.

“Oh no you don't. You are staying hidden until I solve this.”

“Like hell I am! You expect me to lay back and let the woman I love get shot at?! You're crazy if you think....”

Chat noir noticed Ladybug was in tears.

“Ladybug...”

“I don't want you to die Chatton! You are injured and that wound will slow you down. There is no way you can dodge bullets in your condition!”

“Ladybug... You still have miraculous healing. Once we beat the akuma, all the damage will be undone. That can't happen if you get killed. You need me out there.” Chat noir reasoned.

Ladybug could see his logic. She hated that he was right, she hated that there was a chance they could die. She hugged him. The two managing to calm their nerves after the embrace.

“Okay, but you need to be careful. I don't want you getting hurt anymore.”

“I promise, I will be alright when this is over.”

“Come out Come out Wherever you are!!”

A voice called out from a distance.

“Seems the hunter is getting impatient.” Chat noir rolled his eyes.

“Well maybe I have something to turn the tide and make the hunter the hunted.”

“Lucky Charm.”

_____________________________________________________________________

The Akuma sits on the roof top, his camouflage active to ensure he was hiding.

He was pretending that he was getting cocky in order to draw the two heroes out. They will be expecting an outright fight. But he had something special planned.

The two peer from their hiding place, looking around to see where he was.

‘Just a little further.’

“Where did he go? I could of sworn I heard him.” 

“Keep calm kitty, he might have a trick up his sleeve.”

‘Just pop right out.’

Chat Noir jumped out of the spot.

“Now!”

He presses the button in his hand.

A sting pulls chat noir back just barely avoiding the exploding mine.

“Damn it!” The akuma cursed.

“Nice try, we figured you would try something like that. And now we know where you are. So quit the chameleon act.

The akuma revealed himself and had his arms up.

“Alright. You caught me. I have been outsmarted.”

Ladybug could see that the man was clearly lying through his teeth, he was reaching for something.

“Its a trap.”

The man revealed a massive Gun and aimed it at them.

“Bye bye.”

The akuma let loose a storm of bullets from his automatic machine gun.

Chat noir began spinning his Staff as fast as he could to block the bullets. Ladybug used the opportunity to slick away.

“I never get to use these. They are so much fun!” The akuma roars with laughter. His bullets not as accurate as before with the powerful gun shooting off rapid fire.

Chat noir managed to block a majority of the bullets but he was getting knocked and hit by a few missed ones, He was starting to getting much bloodier and his baton was slowing down. He was biting his lip to avoid screaming in pain. These bullets hurt like hell.

“You’re finished you mangy mongrel.”

He felt something his his hands.

“What the heck.

“He looked up to see Ladybug.

He pointed his gun upward and began firing. A few bullets managed to connect as she was in the air.

“GHH!” She groaned in pain as she rolled from the landing.

“Nice try Bug. But now your going to be exterminated.”

He pointed the gun at her.

“Ladybug!” Chat noir cried out as he tried to move.

Click

“Out of ammo. No matter, I still have ammunition in my pistols and with how weak you two are, it will be easy pickings.” He boasted as he tried to drop his empty gun. But he couldn't.

“Wait... I can't let go of my gun!”

Ladybug smirked as she revealed the super glue she had on her person, she tossed it aside used her Yo-Yo to circle around his legs and tripped him. His pistols and duffel bag flew off of him as he was helpless to get them.

“You got to be kidding me!” He screamed in frustration.

“Chat noir, the bag!”

The cat slowly stumbled to the bag. Ladybug took notice of the dozens of holes in his body, the cat had managed to protect his vital organs, but his body was bloody and he would die from blood loss if the healing didn't happen soon.

“Hurry Chat!”

“Cata...clysm...” Chat noir called out in a weak voice as he fell forward. Touching the bag with his hand, turning it black and causing it to crumble. The black butterfly popped out.

“No!” The akuma shouted.

Ladybug untangled her yo-yo and went to snag the akuma.

“Time to de-evilize.”

She snagged the akuma with her Yo-Yo and purified it. This resulted in the akuma reverting back into his normal form.

“Chat, the akuma is down! Chat?”

She looks to see a large puddle of red liquid pooling around him.

Ladybug looked away, she couldn't freeze up right now. She needed to cast healing.

“Miraculous ladybug!”

She tossed the glue container into the air and she watched as her powers activate.

The damage to the environment vanished, and the pool of blood around chat noir vanished. Ladybug’s leg healed instantly.

“Chat!” She ran to the cat hero, who was still laying face down in the ground.

“Its alright Chat noir. I fixed everything. You are all fixed up.”

The de-akumatized hitman noticed the hero was distracted. He quietly made his way toward his bag. He had some things in there that would not give him plausible deniability over this whole mess.

“Chatton?” Ladybug touched his cheek and noticed he felt cold. She frantically began checking for a pulse.

“No... no no no... We... we won. This shouldn't.”

The assassin slicked away as the hero desperately tried to revive her partner.

“I wonder if hawkmoth will pay for half the job done?”

______________________________________________________________________

Is Chat Noir Alive? Is he dead?

As my birthday gift @masked-bixch is the one that gets the final say!

I will write the ending after I get the response from her.

It is her birthday gift, she should get to decide how it all ends.

[nellied-reviews]

Discomforts, Pains and Irregularities Re-listen

Hello! I hope you're safe and well, wherever you are right now, and looking after yourself as best you can. It's a weird time to be alive, certainly. Fortunately, there is in this life one thing we can rely on: Douglas Eiffel will forever be a dumbass. I've hit episode 3 in my Wolf 359 re-listen, and boy, did this one cheer me up. So, without further ado:

Discomforts, Pains and Irregularities

In which Hilbert and Hera make a great but also terrifying team, Eiffel will do anything to avoid his physical exam, and Mink-oH MY GOD YOU WERE BEING SERIOUS?!

I feel, off the bat, like this episode is different to the previous two in a really good, productive way. It's a subtle thing, but it's something I definitely noticed this time round; Discomforts, Pains and Irregularities just works differently to the first two episodes. Where they were a sort of slice-of-life affair and a then a straight-up sitcom, this episode is more of a comedy horror movie; where the conflict in the first two episodes was between Eiffel and the rest of the crew, here we get our first external threat; where the plot, in the first two episodes, revolved around mundane, small things like radio broadcasts and toothpaste, the plot here's about a mutant space plant monster. It's a neat way of setting certain genre expectations and helping us triangulate, roughly, what we can and can't expect from the show, establishing a couple of constants (we're probably not going to get an episode, for example, with absolutely no comedy), but also a range of different tones the show can play with (sitcom, B-movie horror, weird sci-fi)

That said, it's not obvious from the beginning of the episode that we've stumbled into a horror movie. At first, when Eiffel starts his log sounding so very defeated, it seems like we're being set up for an episode about Eiffel trying to dodge a physical exam. Which you could get a whole, pretty decent episode out of it, for sure -  it would probably end up following a very similar template to Little Revolución. Step 1: have Eiffel do something ridiculous. Step 2: escalate things. Step 3: Eiffel is defeated. Solid, right? So when Hera announced that physicals are coming up, it feels like there's a predictable way that this going to play out. Not bad, per se. But we can see where it might be going.

We do get the fun twist of Hera cooperating with Hilbert, and sounding surprisingly chipper about the whole affair. And I guess that makes sense? She doesn't have physical body in the same way as Eiffel and Minkowski do, after all, so she's not getting a physical, and I can totally see her making the most of it to troll Eiffel, or indulge in some Schadenfreude. Or perhaps she's just helping Hilbert because it’s her job. Who knows? Either way, it's nice, if a little bittersweet, to see Hera and Hilbert working as a team again and trusting each other; after season 1, we don't see so much of that, for obvious, murder-y reasons.

I also have to wonder, at this point, why Hilbert is running these physicals? He says it's to stop disease spreading, but surely the Hephaestus, a closed system with three actual people living there, has got to be disease-free, right? The only thing I can think is that this is actually part of his work on Eiffel, a convenient excuse to take samples and see how the Decima is doing. Which makes an already terrifying prospect even more frightening. I guess he also has to collect samples for Minkowski, to maintain his cover? Or - a more alarming thought that I kind of wish I hadn't had - he might also be taking measurements and samples in preparation for giving her Decima, should Eiffel go the way of Lambert and the last crew. Cheery stuff, you know?

That’s just me overthinking things, though. What we actually get, as the episode gets going, is a panicky, nervous Eiffel desperately bullshitting Hilbert to get the good doctor off his tail. Which is so very relatable. I feel you, Eiffel. 

It didn't escape my attention, here, that Eiffel mentions a recent power outage. It's another sign that things were going wrong in the Hephaestus from the very beginning - something we won't get confirmed until Pan-Pan, I think?

It also didn't escape my attention, on a more immediate note, that Hilbert used up all of the water doing radiation experiments in the greenhouse. Which I bet is totally fine and totally didn't create the plant monster in the first place. Nope. Nuh-uh. No foreshadowing here.

In any case, Eiffel's ruse works, and then we get Eiffel and Hera just bantering for a bit, which is always a delight. Hera gets all sniffy (pun unintentional) about Eiffel's personal hygiene, Eiffel lobs a "you don't even have a nose anyway" back at her, she leans hard into her "well you're a feeble, puny human" shtick. It's fun, and I can totally buy that this might be a conversation they have had many times before. I don't know, I just really love their friendship, okay?

What I also love, when Minkowski calls to ask for help with the plant monster, is that Eiffel just straight-up assumes that she's also trying to get out of her physical. Like... has he met Minkowkski?! And yes, okay, technically she was in the greenhouses trying to avoid Hilbert. But the fact that now, when she is quite obviously not kidding, Eiffel decides to shrug it off? Genius. I love it. So very dumb.

Then, of course, we meet the plant monster, which is honestly one of my favourite things about this podcast. It's just so out-there! After two more slice-of-life episodes, it's delightfully weird, but also puts us firmly in the realm of soft science fiction. Like, there's no pretending, with a mutant plant monster, that this is going to be gritty, realistic, hard science fiction, and I kind of love that? Certainly, setting aside question like "is this scientifically plausible?" lets the show do all sorts of wacky, fun things that just make for a more engaging story. Mutant plant monsters are in the same cheesy B-movie vein as the Dear Listeners, super-soldier-creating viruses and mind control machines, and Wolf 359 is 100% better off for it.

Minkowski doesn't share my enthusiasm for the plant monster, sadly. She goes straight in with a flamethrower. Ah, Commander. Never change.

Eiffel still doesn't believe that it's real, even as he goes down to check on Minkowski, which is kind of hilarious, especially because it's such a tropey horror movie set-up. For such a pop-culture-savvy dude, he really dropped the ball on this one. But it's nice to see him and Minkowski bonding over being mutually freaked out by the thing. After two episodes of Minkowski being mad at Eiffel for various offences, it's cool that they're working together here, even if it takes the joint threat of Hilbert's physicals and a plant monster to get them there.

It's also here that the podcast format works so well, because without a visual on the monster, it's so much more frightening. Seriously, I bet all of our mental images of this thing are way more frightening than anything a TV show could give us, based just on Eiffel and Minkowski screaming.

Either way, we cut away pretty quickly after that, and the episode ends with Eiffel informing us smugly that the plant monster is still out there, but that, as a consequence of the ongoing monster situation, they have at least postponed physicals. It's a fun way to end the episode, anticlimactic in the funniest possible way, focusing on the dumb, mundane stuff and just dropping the plant mutant... for now. It leaves room for future stories featuring our resident not-so-horrifying monster (hello, Minkowski Commanding!). But honestly, it'd still be funny if the plant monster was never brought up again, and just hung round like the proverbial, vine-strewn elephant in the room. Which it kind of does, for a while, at least until Season 2.

It also works, I think, because this episode isn't really about how the crew would defeat a plant monster. Instead, the question the episode asks is just "How do the crew react when something really weird happens?" And the answer we get is something we'll see again and again: Minkowski goes on the warpath and tries to kill it with fire, while Eiffel is a bit more chill about things, possibly unwisely so. It feels like the blueprint for a whole lot of future disagreements where Minkowski generally leans towards more violent solutions, while Eiffel is a little more pacifistic, repping Team What's-Wrong-With-Handcuffs etc.

So yup. At the end of the day, like most of the early episodes, this one’s pretty heavy on the comedy. But it also establishes a bunch of new things that the show can do, and puts our protagonists into a totally new, strange situation, just to see how they react, paving the way for all sorts of future weirdness. Not bad, right?

Also, because it bears repeating, mutant space plant monster. 

Miscellaneous thoughts:

Hera getting snarky about Eiffel's body odour bwahahahahahahaha

That noise is terrifying and will haunt my nightmares

Also, why did Eiffel record his physical six months ago? What could he possibly have been planning on doing with that recording??

"Tell him to go... ffffrequencies!"

Ewwwww spinal fluid samples

"Let's get this - oH MY GOD YOU WERE BEING SERIOUS" 

"For God's sake, help me kill this thing!" "With what? Harsh language?" "With napalm, you moron!"

[therainroguefanfiction]

🔥 ℝise Ⱥbove I̾t ◈ Chapter 014 [Social Interaction? Effort.]

📑 Table of Contents | ◂Backward

Word Count: 2,680 ☁

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

〈“All I want is a place to call my own. To mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone. You know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.” A Day to Remember, “All I Want”〉

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.

I groaned, forcing my eyes open. My hand shot out, feeling around for my annoying ass phone. I had three unread messages. The first was, surprisingly, from Aizawa.

✉ ‘Careful on your way to school.’

Weird, but okay. The next was from Toshi.

✉ ‘The school entrance has been swarmed by reporters. Ignore them, please.’

Reporters? Is that a normal thing for U.A.? The last message was from Murder.

‘Ur face sux’

My eye twitched as my fingers flew across the keyboard. ‘Uve never even seen my face fool’ I stood up, throwing my phone onto the couch before getting ready for school. After grabbing a bottle of Dr. Pepper from the fridge and scarfing down a bowl of cereal, I grabbed my phone again and slipped my sneakers on. A message was waiting for me.

‘Doesnt matter ur face still sux’

I rolled my eyes, ‘Ur an idiot‘

As I got closer to U.A., I heard the chaos before I saw it. The entrance was swarmed by at least two dozen people, some holding microphones, others holding large cameras on their shoulders. They were screaming at the students as they tried to enter the school, blocking their path. Talk about being a hindrance.

“Strange. I’ve never heard of such a thing happening in the past.”

I glanced over at Fumi as he stopped beside me, arms crossed firmly over his chest. “So this ain’t a normal thing, then?”

“Not to my knowledge. Though, if I were to make a guess, I’d say this has to do with All Might being a teacher.”

“You think so?” I scratched my cheek, watching as a female reporter roughly grabbed a student’s shoulder when he ignored her. “He’s the top hero, huh? So heroes are practically celebrities that people go nuts for here… how fucking annoying.”

He tilted his head, looking at me curiously. Right, he doesn’t know anything about me not being from here.

I cleared my throat. “Should we get it over with? Don’t wanna be late… again.”

He nodded, “Yes, they will only become more aggressive over time.”

The fucking vultures spotted us before we even got close, shoving microphones into our faces and screaming over one another to be heard. The only thing I could clearly make out was the name ‘All Might’. Fumi didn’t even spare them a glanced as he headed for the gate, but a woman grabbed his arm and shoved a microphone in his face, demanding an answer.

I felt a surge of annoyance and I grabbed her wrist, my hand turning red as I increased the temperature until she let go of him. “Keep your fuckin’ hands to yourself, bitch. The fuck is wrong with you, grabbing a kid like that. Grow the fuck up and get a real job!”

She cried out in pain and frustration and I released her hand. Muttering profanities under my breath, I put my arm through Fumi’s and tugged him past the archway.

“Thank you,” Fumi spoke softly, his feathery cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

I didn’t even know it was possible for him to blush but this world keeps fucking surprising me, don’t it? “Don’t worry about it,”

“If you won’t bring All Might out, I’ll get him myself!”

I glanced over my shoulder as a loud buzzing filled the morning air. Sheets of metal shot out of the ground, blocking the entry and towering above the stone walls that surrounded the school. The woman screamed in surprise and I scoffed. “That’s what you get, invasive bitch.”

Fumi sighed, placing his hand over his beak. “Your vocabulary is quite vulgar, Jen-san.”

I grinned at him. “Pretty sure I was a fucking sailor in my past life.”

A breeze blew past us, ruffling my hair. A shiver went down my spine, but I didn’t feel cold. I felt… exposed, in danger. What is this strange sense of dread that I’m suddenly feeling? Why do I have the urge to run? I suppressed another shiver, glancing back at the metal sheeting.

“Is something wrong, Jen-san?”

I snapped out of my daze, giving Fumi a forced smile as I followed him into the school building. That feeling lingered in the back of my mind, like someone breathing down my neck.

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

“Decent work on yesterday’s combat training, you guys.” Aizawa stood at the front, his eyes sweeping the room. “I saw the video feeds and went over each of your team’s results. Bakugo – you’re talented, so don’t sulk like a child about your loss, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Pft, that bitch is totally sulking. I glanced around Big Boobs, but I could only see the back of his head since he was sitting in the same row. Truth be told, I had been a bit worried about him, but he seems to be in better spirits. His aura ain’t as dark as it was, anyway. I wonder what Midoriya said to him yesterday.

“And Midoriya – I see the only way you won the match was by messing up your arm again. Work harder! And don’t give me the excuse that you don’t have control over your quirk. That line’s already getting old. You can’t keep breaking your body while training here.” His voice softened. “But your quirk will be really useful if you can get a handle on it. So show a little urgency, huh?”

“Right!”

I snickered at his caring tone and his eyes snapped to mind. Shit, is he gonna call me out, too? I didn’t do that bad, did I? I slowly moved my body back behind Big Boobs, slumping over the desk so he couldn’t see me. I still haven’t apologized for the other day, either. Damn, I should really have a talk with him and Toshi, but effort. Emotional effort, too.

“Let’s get down to business,”

I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Your first task will decide your future.”

The classroom grew tense at his words, but I had the distinct feeling that he was trolling everyone again.

“You all need to pick a class representative.”

He said that so seriously, what the fuck. Still, the classroom started to erupt, overflowing with excitement and energy. I hate it.

“Pick me, guys! I wanna be class representative!” Do you even know what this job takes, Red?

“I’ll take it!” Sparky is definitely not smart enough for this.

“Yeah, you’re gonna need me.” Somehow I doubt that, Punk Rock.

“Someone with style should be -”

“Ooh! I’m totally the right pick!”

I guaran-fucking-tee you that Alien does that to French Fry on purpose. She’s going for the record of how many times she can interrupt him in three years. Or she just hates his guts, which I can understand.

Everyone’s voices started to overlap and I slammed my forehead onto the desk. What the fuck is wrong with these idiots, seriously? Don’t they realize how much work and responsibility that role entails? No fucking thank you. Oh, great taco god, even Bakugo wants the job. Depending on who gets the role, my school life could become hell. I’ve seen plenty of school anime to know that class reps and the student council give students hell.

“Silence, everyone! Please!” Prep shot up, his voice booming over the others. “The class representative’s duty is to lead others! It’s not something just anyone can do.” Especially not most of these dipshits. “You must first have the trust of every student in the classroom. Therefore, the most logical way to fill this position is democratically. We will hold an election to choose our leader!”

That’s a great idea and all, but… that hand of yours is raised higher than anyone else’s. It’s pretty obvious he wants the job.

“Is this really the best idea?”

“We’ve only known each other a few days, how do we know who we can trust?”

That’s a bit dramatic, isn’t it? It’s not like the class rep is gonna be trying to bring nations together or some shit.

“‘Sides, everyone will just vote for themselves.”

“Most people will, but that means whoever does receive multiple votes must truly be the most suitable person for the job. It’s the best way! Right, sir?”

Aizawa had slipped back into his sleeping bag at this point, looking bored out of his mind. “Do what you want. Just decide before my nap’s over.” And with that, he fell to the ground, hidden behind the long lectern.

I sweatdropped. For someone that can show so much care for his students, he certainly loves to act like he hates his job. I wonder… is Zawa part tsundere? Is that even a thing? It’s gotta be.

“Thank you for your trust!” Prep turned to the class, pushing up his glasses. “Everyone, please write your vote on a piece of paper and fold it!”

With a sigh, I dug through my bag for my notebook and a pen. So far, it had only been used to draw cute tacos and the sacred taco bra. I swear, I’m gonna take this fucking grudge to the grave and then come back to haunt that bitch. I tapped my pen on the paper, scanning the room.

I don’t really have a relationship with any of these people. I had that one awkward moment with Bakugo; Ochako introduced herself to me; I helped Midoriya to Granny, but he probably don’t even know about that; Peppermint likes to glare at me for no reason, but he has a really nice voice; Then there’s Fumi.

I glanced over at him, watching his pencil scratch across his paper. Did he even want this job? He hadn’t said anything about it, and he doesn’t seem to be especially social or extroverted. He’s the closest thing I got to a friend here, though.

Damn, I’m really shit at interacting with people. Now that I’m thinking about it, the only people I ever interacted with during school was Travis, and even that was limited to a few times a month, and then there’s Skye and Heather, but something tells me those two are invalid. And twats. They’re definitely twats.

Maybe I should make more of an effort to get to know these people, but that sounds like a serious pain in the ass. Most of these people annoy me, anyway, and the only one that’s made an effort with me is Ochako and Punk Rock, but I blew her off.

“I will collect the votes now!”

Well, shit. I stared at the blank piece of paper and hummed thoughtfully. Oh… a grin split my lips as an idea popped into my head. I quickly scribbled down the name and balled the paper up, tossing it at Prep as he walked by. After collecting them all, he headed to the front of the room and started to calculate the results, writing names and numbers on the board. There were a lot of single votes. Guess people really did vote for themselves. Losers~

“Who voted for Aizawa-sensei?!”

“Pffft,” I bit my lip hard to stop from laughing, but his offended tone really fucking got me, man. Big Boobs and Peppermint turned to look at me, one with a weird expression, the other glaring in annoyance.

Prep slammed his hand on the lectern repeatedly. “This is an important decision, please take this seriously, Winchester!”

“Che. It ain’t that serious, fam, take a chill pill.” I huffed, leaning back in my chair. “One vote ain’t gonna make a difference.”

“Every vote matters!”

“For fuck’s sake, fine.” I scratched my cheek, glancing at the students as they looked back at me, some snickering. “I vote for Fumi,”

“Fumikage Tokoyami,” Prep nodded in satisfaction, turning to the board to add the vote. I caught Fumi’s eye and he smiled, sending me a nod.

Thankfully, I got zero votes.

Midoriya was in the lead with three votes, while Big Boobs, Momo Yaoyorozu, got two. Man, that name is hard for me to say, I hate it.

“How did I get three votes?!”

“Okay, you idiots!” Bakugo shot up from his seat, angrily slamming his hands on the surface of the desk. “Who voted for ’em?!”

“What, did you honestly think anyone was gonna vote for you?”

I mean, I thought about it doing it just for shits and giggles, but the risk that he would win, no matter how low, prevented me from doing so. Imagining that loud ass as the class rep makes my head hurt.

“What did you just say?!”

Prep sat down at his desk, his body shaking. “Zero votes… I feared this might happen, but I can’t argue with the system I chose!”

“So you voted for someone else, huh?” Yaoy… what was it again? I squinted at the board, eyes narrowed at her last name. Fuck it! I’m calling her Momo whether she likes it or not.

“But you know it was best to vote for yourself, right?” Sumo asked. “What were you trying to prove here, Iida?”

Iida, huh? I leaned back in my chair, folding my hands behind my head. I don’t know, I like the name ‘Prep’ better, honestly.

Midoriya stood up, his whole body shaking like a leaf as he headed to the front of the room, Momo standing beside him.

“Alright, the class rep is Midoriya. And our deputy is Yaoyorozu.”

“R-Really? It’s not a mistake?” Midoriya squeaked in disbelief. He’s such a timid little shit. How did someone with such little self-confidence become All Might’s successor? Makes no sense to me.

“This might not be so bad!”

“Yeah, I can get behind Midoriya, I guess.”

“Yaoyorozu was totally on top of it when it came to our training results.”

I glanced out the window at the azure sky, tuning out the class. That sense of dread is getting stronger and it’s making my fucking stomach turn. I guess I can add fucking paranoia to my list of issues.

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

Lunch arrived and students poured out of their classrooms toward the cafeteria. I hung back, not wanting to get stuck in the crowd of hungry teenagers.

“Hey, Winchester!”

I paused, glancing behind me. “Oh. Hey Rin.”

He gave me a bright smile when he finally caught up and we started down the hall. “I’ve been trying to find the right time to say hi. I’m glad you passed the exam!”

I grunted, shoving my hands into my pockets. “I only passed because of you,”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t know you were there,” I muttered with a shrug, looking away from him. “I just wanted to test my power, I completely forgot about the exam and about getting points. I only got in because they thought I saved you.”

He nudged my arm, smiling when I looked at him. “Whether you knew I was there or not, you did save me, but that’s not important. We both got in, right?”

“Guess you got a point. Thanks for saving me, by the way.”

He nodded. “You’re in 1-A, right?”

“Yeah, what about you?”

“1-B and guess who’s in my class~”

My brow furrowed as I thought back to the exam. “Uhh… wait, not that blonde idiot.”

“Yup! His name is Neito Monoma and he’s certainly an interesting character.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but a loud yell from in front of us stopped me. “Get the fuck outta my way, Deku!”

“You guys got the arrogant prick, Monoma. We got the loud chihuahua, Bakugo.” I commented, sending him a blank look.

Rin chuckled as he watched the blonde stomping away from Midoriya. “I think we’re a bit better off. But only a little bit.”

“Probably are. My class is fucking nuts.”

“Sounds fun,” He paused for a moment, tilting his head. “Do you mind if I join you for lunch today?”

“Hmm, sure.” I usually just sit at the end of the table, listening to my classmates ramble on and argue about stupid shit. Wait… if he sits with me that means I have to put in the effort to try and carry on a conversation with him.

Fuck my life.

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

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Patient

NEW STORY!

(This is the story I previewed here.)  I’m so excited for this story! I’m still in the middle of writing it, but don’t worry - I never abandon a story. I’ll try and get chapters done at least every other week. Enjoy!

FFN and AO3

Ginny never wanted to end up a wedding coordinator, especially when at 35 she hasn’t had her own wedding. But when she loses her big corporate event planning position, she’s more or less forced into the job. It’s not all bad though, Ginny gets to plan Victoire’s wedding, and she’s rather taken with the fiance’s godfather.

Patient

Ginny slid her keys into her bag as she walked into work. She’d just pulled off her biggest event yet, a conference of 5000 people and she had coordinated it all: the expo-center, the hotels, the food, the speakers, the free stuff, all of it. And it had gone off without a hitch. She was looking forward to simply writing up her final review and then getting started on the next event, a much smaller in-house event for the company management.

“Ms. Weasley,” a deadly sweet voice called out as she sat down at her desk. Ginny turned to find a squatted toad in a pink dress suit.

Dolores Umbridge stood directly to her left with what looked like excitement across her normally sour face. “I need a word, in my office.”

She looked at Ginny expectantly as Ginny cautiously stood from her chair; then the toad turned on her heels and practically marched down the hall.

Ginny knew this couldn’t be good, but she couldn’t figure out what it could be about. The conference had gone off perfectly, she’d even come in exactly on budget - no small feat. It hit her when she walked into Dolores’ office and saw the HR representative sitting at the desk.

“You’re firing me?” Ginny could feel her eyes bulging out of their sockets.

“Ginny, it’s nice to see you,” the HR rep that had hired her, Richard if she remembered correctly, stood and held out his hand. Ginny didn’t take it, she just stood, rooted to carpet.

“You’re firing me?” She turned to Dolores who smiled.

“Oh no, but we are dissolving the position of event coordinator. We’ll be moving all of your responsibilities to each department’s secretary.” Dolores practically beamed as she settled in her seat, “Please, sit down.”

Ginny wearily took the empty seat, “What about the corporate wide events?”

“The secretaries will work as a team and split the work,” Richard chimed in.

Ginny almost laughed. That was ridiculous. You couldn’t make these events happen without a main face, someone who all the vendors could come to and know they’d get a direct answer. Event planning wasn’t committee material.

“And,” Dolores pushed a small stack of papers across the desk to Ginny, “we’d like to offer you the opportunity to be the marketing department’s new secretary.”

Ginny glanced at the offer letter and this time she did laugh out loud. “That’s a 30% pay cut.”

“But it’s continued employment,” Richard added hastily.

Ginny took a deep breath and counted to ten, slowly, before speaking. “I’d like be considered a layoff and have my severance package instead.”

The look in Dolores’ eyes told Ginny she’d played right into their hand. Whatever. Fine. It didn’t matter.

“Richard has that paperwork,” Dolores turned to him. “After you sign it all he will escort you to your desk and then out of the building.”

Ginny wasn’t listening. She was focusing on not screaming. She wasn’t going to give the pink toad the satisfaction. She was going to walk out of this damn building with her head held high.

The next ten minutes felt like an out of body experience. Ginny went through the paperwork, signed everything, collected her belongings, and nodded politely to Richard as she handed over her badge. She slid into her car, shut the door, took a deep breath, and then screamed at the top of her lungs.

They’d fired her!

After pulling off the kind of events she was for this stupid company they fired her!

Ginny had been mad before, but this was a whole new level of furious. She needed to get home. She needed to call Luna. And she needed to scream a bit more.

Twenty minutes later, Ginny sat on her sofa, still in her power suit, a carton of ice cream in her hand and Luna offering some comfort on the other side of the sofa.

“I’m so sorry, Ginny.” Luna repeated for the millionth time.

“Thanks,” Ginny sighed and took another bite of ice cream before grabbing her laptop off the table. “I guess I should go update my resume and start applying for a new position.”

“Is event coordinator something most companies hire?” Luna asked as she moved closer to Ginny.

“Depends,” Ginny shrugged. “If they’re big enough and they do events outside the company then usually.”

Luna looked worried as she took in that information, but Ginny tried not to notice. She was going to believe that there was a job out there right now just for her.

It turned out that she should have shared Luna’s concern. Ginny had spent a full month applying and interviewing for corporate event coordinator positions to no avail.

“I don’t know what to do,” Ginny groaned as she sat across from her dad. He’d invited her out to lunch and she ignored how readily she’d agreed to a paid meal, along with the tinge of embarrassment she felt when he handed her two cooler bags full of food her mum had prepared.

“Maybe you need to broaden your search,” her dad furrowed his brow. “Be willing to relocate or switch fields.”

Ginny grimaced at the thought of switching fields. The only other thing that existed for event coordinators outside of corporate was wedding planning.

No, thank you.

Ginny didn’t have anything against weddings, aside from the fact that they were ridiculous and overdone and overpriced and she couldn’t put on the show that every bride was getting her happily ever after day in and day out. Nevermind that Ginny was convinced that she wasn’t going to be getting a wedding of her own. As her mother so frequently put it, “you’re nearly 36, don’t you think it’s time you settled down?” Which translated in Ginny’s mind as “you’re nearly past your prime, find someone before you expire.” But Ginny had no prospects, and no real desire to play the dating game again. She’d played it all through her twenties, and she was tired of it. So Ginny had accepted that she was probably just going to be single and put a lot of effort into being a good aunt and daughter and friend and person.

“I know you don’t like the idea of moving,” Arthur patted her hand, “but sometimes we have to roll with the punches. Life has a way of leading us in the right direction if we’re doing our best to be decent human beings.”

The conversation moved on from there but Ginny couldn’t keep from fretting. She was starting to dig into her savings. Her severance was one week of pay for every year she’d worked at the company. Her four years of working there gave her one month’s pay and even with cutting back on her expenses, she knew that her savings wouldn’t last forever.

Ginny walked to her car after bidding her dad goodbye and felt trapped in her situation. She was overqualified for any store attendant position and specialized enough that standard marketing positions preferred other applicants over her. She was running out of options almost as fast as she was running out of money. Ginny was pulled from her melancholy thoughts by her phone buzzing. It was an email from someone who found her on LinkedIn asking if she’d be willing to interview with Wedding Composition to be their newest wedding coordinator.

Ginny stared at the email. She really didn’t want to do this, but she couldn’t see an alternative. Her savings would run out, and that money had originally been for something entirely different than sustaining her through unemployment. She could always interview with them, take the job if offered, and then keep looking for something in corporate. It would at least pay the bills and make it so she wouldn’t need to scrimp after every penny. She would simply jump ship the minute something in corporate came along. Weddings would be easy. No one ever had weddings that compared to the scale of some of the corporate events she pulled off. She would have plenty of time to interview elsewhere. The more she thought about it, the more Ginny thought it was a great idea.

Ginny selected the contact number on her phone and hit the dial option.

Emily McCarthy was exactly what Ginny pictured when she thought of a wedding coordinator. She was bubbly and excited and exuded an optimism that bordered on insanity. But she loved Ginny and was positive that Ginny would love wedding planning so much she’d give up on finding a corporate event coordinator position and stay on forever with her and the rest of the team.

The rest of the team included Josh and Lyndi, both had years of experience in wedding planning. They also were in love with their work and thought they were creating dreams. They echoed Emily’s sentiments that Ginny would lose all desire to work anywhere else after she’d experienced wedding planning. But Ginny really didn’t care, she just was happy to have a job again and a paycheck coming in.

“Congratulations!” Molly beamed at her daughter that Sunday. Bill had complained that the family hadn’t gathered in a few months and Molly had risen to the occasion, inviting everyone home for a full family dinner. Ginny took note that Bill and his family had yet to show up.

“Thanks, Mum,” Ginny smiled, “it’s nice to have a job again.”

“You found a position?” Hermione gave Ginny a hug and shifted baby Rose to one side.

“I found something to get me by for now,” Ginny tickled Rose’s tummy before sighing. “I’m the newest wedding coordinator for Wedding Composition.”

Hermione’s face scrunched in confusion. She knew how much Ginny looked down on wedding planning. But Ginny was saved from having to explain by Bill and his brood filing through the door along with a young man with turquoise blue hair.

“Way to show up, slacker.”

“Be nice,” Molly chided Ginny as she ushered everyone in.

“Excuse me, everyone,” Bill raised his voice, “I’d like to introduce the man who wants to steal my daughter. Ted Lupin, meet the rest of your future family.”

Ginny’s mind quickly processed the words her brother spoke and looked down at her niece’s hand. Sure enough, an engagement ring sparkled in the light. Then the room erupted with cheers and questions and a lot of tears on Molly’s part.

Ginny knew her niece was old enough on paper to get married. She even knew Vic had been dating the same boy for the last three years. But Ginny couldn’t wrap her brain around it. Little Vicky was getting married at just 18? It felt absurd.

But then, it felt nauseating, because her little niece would be married, and Ginny was not. Ginny thought she had come to terms with the idea that she probably wouldn’t marry, but that was before the next generation started marrying. That was before 35 suddenly felt like 70. Ginny was about to excuse herself when her mother added to the anxiety.

“Oh this is perfect! Ginny just took a position as the newest wedding coordinator at Wedding Composition!” Molly turned to Ginny with an excitement in her eyes that Ginny was sure she’d only seen when weddings and babies were being discussed. “Ginny you have to plan Victoire and Ted’s wedding! It would be perfect!”

Ginny forced the panic down and put on a smile, hoping it didn’t look like a grimace. “I’d love to, you’ll be my first clients!”

Bill put his arm around Ginny, “Great, let’s talk budget before Vic gives you her wish list, and Ted can get you in touch with his godfather. He’s offered to help pay for the photographer and the flowers and suits.”

“Godfather?” Ginny repeated, surprised that it wasn’t his parents offering to help pay.

Ted shrugged, “He’s the only family I’ve got.”

The next day was Ginny’s official first day at work, but it really was just going to be a continuation of the previous evening. After laying out the budget with Bill she had spent the following three hours trying to go over wedding details with Vic. It was useless though because every female family member had to have her say about what would make the wedding perfect. Ginny had figured out pretty quick she wasn’t going to get very far and just let everyone talk at Vic and Ted. This morning she was going to be able to actually begin planning things out with her niece and soon to be nephew, along with the godfather who was coming to give her his budget figures.

She sighed as she opened her calendar on her tablet, so much for being able to jump ship the minute she found another job. Now she was stuck coordinating weddings until Vic was married. The next ten months were going to be very long months. Oh well. She pulled out the white binder with gold lace applique printed on it and Vic and Ted’s names printed on a sticker and placed on the binding. Emily had handed it to Ginny when she told Emily that her first client would be Vic. Emily had been ecstatic at the news and insisted that Ginny give Vic and Ted the family discount, something Bill was very happy about when Ginny called to tell him. Ginny flipped through the binder making sure she had filled in everything that she already knew the answers to. It wasn’t too different from her corporate event planning. Instead of branding it was wedding colors. Instead of the presentation it was the wedding ceremony. But the venue was still there and the catering and the lodging. There was just the addition of things like wedding dress shopping, and suits, and bridesmaid dresses, and flower bouquets, and photographers that she hadn’t done before.

“Aunt Ginny?”

Ginny looked up to find Vic and Ted standing at the entrance to her office.

“Thanks again for doing this, Ginny, Vic is so excited I think she’s going to explode.” Ted put a comfortable arm around Vic’s waist and kissed her temple. Ginny smiled, Vic had found a good one.

“Come on in and have a seat,” Ginny rose and gave Vic a hug. It still seemed surreal that little Vicky was old enough to be getting married. They were so young. Ginny was in her mid-thirties and she still felt clueless half the time. Yet here were these babies asking her to help them have the wedding of their dreams.

“I thought your godfather was going to be here,” Ginny turned to Ted as they all sat down.

“He’s on his way,” Ted nodded, “he got a little hung up.”

“No matter,” Ginny waved it away. “Let’s start with the important stuff, and contrary to what everyone at the Burrow told you, that is not the colors or the dress or any of that. I first need to know the number of people you’re going to have at the wedding ceremony and the reception.”

“Oh,” Vic’s cheeks blushed and she looked down at her hand intertwined with Ted’s. “I hadn’t thought about that part actually.”

Ginny sighed. Obviously brides weren’t nearly as organized as most of her previous managers.

“As practical as that is,” a voice sounded from the door, “doesn’t that take some of the fun out of the first meeting with your wedding coordinator?”

Ginny looked up at her door to see a very attractive man with dark hair that fell in every direction and green, green eyes behind a pair of dark framed glasses.

“Harry!” Ted jumped up and gave the man a hug.

“Sorry I’m late, Teddy,” Harry shook his head as he pulled away.

“It’s fine, really, we understand.” Ted turned to Ginny, “Harry, this is Vic’s aunt and our wedding coordinator, Ginny Weasley. Ginny, this is my godfather, Harry Potter.”

“Pleasure,” Harry shook her proffered hand, and Ginny had to pull every trick in the book to maintain her cool. Harry’s eyes bore into her and his smile was captivating. But she didn’t particularly like being called out on her growing pains when it came to transitioning from corporate events to weddings.

“We don’t want to take up too much of your time, Mr. Potter, so let’s go ahead and talk about what you would like to add to the couple’s budget and then you can head back to work.”

“Harry, please,” he pulled a chair up next to Ted. “And I’ve taken the rest of the day off to help with this and everything else Teddy has planned today.”

“Right,” Ginny took a deep breath. She had dealt with Umbridge every day for four years, surely she could handle a sassy, good looking man with minimal issue.

Harry gave her the number and as she wrote it down in the binder he cleared his throat.

“There’s one thing though, I’m sure Teddy would have brought it up when you came to it, but we want to make it clear that there will be no alcohol at the reception.”

Ginny looked up confused. “What?”

Harry looked at her intently. “There will be no alcohol served or available or smuggled in.”

Ginny turned to look at the couple who nodded at her solemnly.

“Er, alright,” she grabbed her red pen and made a note on the catering page. She wasn’t sure what the aversion to alcohol was all about, but obviously the couple agreed which was all that mattered really. “Any other unusual requests?”

Harry flashed her a grin, “Not at the moment.”

Ginny shook her head and tried to hide the smile that was pulling on her lips. This man was ridiculous.

With a little help from Harry and herself, they were able to nail down a good estimate for the number of people to be at the ceremony and the reception. Next Ginny brought up the venue and she watched as Vic heaved a sigh. Ginny felt bad, really she did, but this was the right way to plan out an event. They’d get to colors and dresses and cakes when the big priced items were taken care of and they knew how much money was left after that.

“You know,” Harry stretched, “I could really do with a tea or something. How about we move this little meeting to the cafe down the street?”

“We have a little reception room down the hall that has a kitchenette with tea and water and sodas.” Ginny shook her head. Emily had told her to use the formal reception room for Vic, but Ginny found the room to be over the top. She had decided her office was a much more practical place to meet with her clients.

“Lead on, Ms. Weasley,” Harry stood and gestured out the door.

Ginny grabbed her tablet and the binder and her pens and everything else she thought she’d need before leading her little group into the formal reception room.

The room had cream colored couches and chairs with antique white coffee and side tables. The counter for the kitchenette was white marble and the faucet and handles for the cabinets were gold colored and polished to shine. The walls had large blown up images of smiling brides in beautiful wedding dresses surrounded by flowers and delicate decor. Ginny felt like it was trying to hard. But as she led the little group into the room, she heard Vic gasp and turned to see her niece gripping Ted’s arm with the biggest smile she’d seen on her face since the big family dinner the night before.

“This is beautiful!”

Ginny stared at Vic. Apparently being a French woman’s daughter gave you a severe romantic streak? She turned when she heard water running as Harry filled the electric kettle. He winked at her before he began rummaging through the cabinets looking for tea. Then he opened the mini-fridge and scowled before shaking his head. He reached in and pulled out a Diet Coke.

“Here Teddy,” he handed it over to Ted who grinned and thanked him.

Ginny joined Harry in rummaging through the cabinets for cups and tea and biscuits. As the kettle clicked, Harry leaned closer to her to whisper.

“I’m not about to tell you how to do your job, but your poor niece is looking like you just took her childhood dream and made it a conference room training. So maybe let her have some of the fairytale back.” He poured the cream into Vic’s tea before turning to carry it to her.

Ginny stared at the space he’d just vacated. Who the hell did this guy think he was? She turned her head to glare at him, but she caught a glimpse of Vic and paused. Vic was smiling like the whole world was right. She looked excited and like she couldn’t wait for the day she’d become Mrs. Edward Lupin. Ginny sighed. She absolutely hated being wrong. But she loved Vic. Vic was the little girl who made her an aunt. Vic was the little girl that she took to parks and played tea party with. She was who Vic stayed with when Fleur went into labor with Dominique. Vic was something special and Ginny grudgingly admitted that Harry was right, she deserved the fairytale.

“Now then,” Ginny sat down across from Victoire, “why don’t you tell me what you want your wedding to look like?”

Vic’s eyes lit up like Ginny had just offered her chocolate cake. She proceeded into a monologue of everything she’d dreamed her wedding would be. She wanted the main color to be the same color turquoise as Ted’s hair, accented with silver and white and black. She wanted it to be elegant. She wanted a roses and orchids. She wanted a proper tea instead of a cocktail hour while photographs of the family were being taken after the ceremony. She went on about her dress and the bridesmaids dresses and the way she wanted the venue decorated, how the cake would look, what food they’d have, the music that would play.

And as Vic shared her dreams for her wedding, Ginny just sat and listened. She remembered being young and in love. She remembered what she’d imagined a wedding for herself would have been like. She remembered it had never included the logistics. And finally it hit her. A wedding coordinator existed to keep the magic of the wedding alive, while making sure the logistics went smoothly. An event coordinator had to prove that they had the logistics under control, keep them out in front for their manager to see it was going exactly how they expected it would and was within budget. Ginny realized she’d been trying to be an event coordinator with Vic’s wedding, and she’d been killing the magic.

Ginny glanced at Harry as Vic continued, and found him watching her intently. He nodded once when she caught his eye, and Ginny felt like he could see right through her. She didn’t particularly care for that feeling, but she pushed it away and turned back to Vic as the girl seemed to be winding down on her monologue.

“What do you think?” Vic looked at Ginny with hopeful eyes as she nervously pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.

Ginny moved quickly to wrap her niece in her arms. “It sounds perfect, Vicky.”

They spent the next half hour filling in exactly what the first page of the binder Emily gave Ginny said to decide: date, colors, aesthetic, theme if any, flowers, ceremony desires, location desires, and number of guests. The bottom of that page had a space for the next appointment to be filled in. Ginny stared at it a moment before deciding to trust it. She set up their next meeting and walked the trio back to the front of the little shop.

“Thank you, Aunt Ginny!” Vic hugged her tight. “I’m so excited!”

Ginny held this precious girl in her arms for a long moment and smiled at Ted and Harry. “I’m going to make sure this is as perfect as I can make it for you, Vic.”

Harry winked at her as he pulled the engaged couple out the door. “We’ll see you at the next meeting.”

It wasn’t until she stepped back into her office that Ginny realized what he’d said. Did Harry really think it necessary to come to every meeting? There must have been a miscommunication somewhere along the line because for the most part she would only need Vic and Ted. Wedding dress shopping would of course include more people, as would the selection of suits, but that was it. It wasn’t worth fretting over though, because Ginny had a lot of research to do. Vic wanted her dream wedding, and Ginny was going to make sure that all the money Bill and Harry were putting towards it would stretch as far as she could make it.

She was deep in her figuring of numbers to determine how much the kind of dress Vic wanted would cost in comparison to venues and flowers and cake and catering when Emily knocked on her door.

“Wow,” Emily looked at the spreadsheets across Ginny’s monitors and the number of browser tabs open both on her computer and the one she could see on the tablet. Ginny’s notebook was open as well, notes scribbled across both pages. “I knew you were good, but this is incredibly thorough, Ginny.”

Ginny smiled, “She is my niece after all.”

Emily slid into a chair on the other side of Ginny’s desk. “What exactly are you doing?”

“I’m making sure she can have everything she wants,” Ginny pasted another link into her spreadsheet and entered in another price point, watching the figures update.

“We have the vendors that we normally work with,” Emily reminded her.

“Of course,” Ginny nodded, “and I have all of their information in my spreadsheets as well, but I want to make sure that her budget stretches as far as I can make it. My brother and her fiance’s godfather are both putting money in but it’s still a limited budget.”

“His parents aren’t contributing?” Emily asked with a furrowed brow.

“He told me his godfather was the only family he had.”

Emily’s eyes immediately filled with tears. “Well thank goodness that he has someone!”

Ginny smiled. Harry Potter was a sassy and pretentious someone, but yes, he was someone.

“Well, I wanted to tell you that I have another couple that I’ll be assigning to you. I’ve scheduled their first meeting to be a week from today. We like to do those introductory meetings on Mondays here whenever possible.” Emily handed her another binder, just like the one she had for Vic and Ted. This time, however, Emily had filled in the names and phone numbers.

“Do they have a budget?” Ginny asked, noticing that space was left blank.

Emily chuckled. “Kathleen Hawthorne’s father is quite wealthy. He’s planning on simply selling off a property to pay for his daughter’s wedding.”

Ginny’s mouth dropped. “You’re giving me a rich client?”

“Of course, you’re my most thorough coordinator and I actually think that is going to make Mr. Hawthorne much more likely to broadcast around to his friends that Wedding Composition is the best place for even the aristocracy to bring their daughters.”

“That’s a pretty tall order,” Ginny smiled, “but I’ll do my best.”

“I know you will. Let me know if you need anything.” Emily stood up to leave before turning. “Oh, how did your niece like the reception room?”

Ginny smiled, “It took her breath away.”

“That’s the goal,” she chuckled, “before you leave today, remember to restock what you used. I noticed you already put the cups and saucers in the dishwasher, thank you for that.”

Ginny nodded as Emily walked out to prepare for her next meeting.

Ginny spent the entire day doing research for Vic’s wedding, determined to find the best prices on everything. It felt good to be working and it felt good to be doing the part of her job she liked best. Sorting through all her vendor options, pitting their best prices against each other and sweet talking her way into deals. She loved seeing an event go off perfectly, but she lived for putting it all together so that she could be confident that nothing could go so wrong at the event that it couldn’t be saved.

Before heading home for the day, Ginny pulled a Diet Coke from the stock room and walked it into the reception room. She slid it into the fridge but stopped a moment when she saw what was sitting next to the assortment of sodas. Bottles of champagne sat ready to open and serve to the clients. She’d need to remember that for when Kathleen Hawthorne and Travis Schultz came in next week. That would probably be exactly what big money like that would want. Ginny put a note in her phone to pick up some fruit and scones on her way in that day as well.

But before she could meet her expensive taste clients, she had to find Vic a venue to get married in.

“I have five places to look at today, but if you don’t feel like any of them are right we can look at a few more. These are just the ones I think you’ll fall in love with.” Ginny smiled at Vic who sat in the front seat of her car with her, nearly bouncing with excitement. Ted and Harry sat in the back. She’d have to remember to tell Harry that he didn’t need to keep taking work off for this, she’d let Ted know if he needed to be there or not. Ginny glanced back in the rearview mirror and accidentally caught Harry’s eye. He winked at her before looking back out his window.

Ginny tried to ignore the way the blood rushed to her ears.

Thankfully she was pulling up to the first reception hall.

The place was very modern. Clean lines everywhere and gold and silver finishes. The floors were polished black granite and every table had a white marble top. Ginny heard Vic’s breath catch as they walked in and she grinned. But as they went through the tour, Ginny could see that while this had the elegance Vic had wanted, it was a bit too much for her.

“We have the exact date of your wedding open as well,” the host spoke to Vic as she continued to tell her how they could make this facility into her dream.

“Vic,” Ginny stepped between the host and her niece, “remember I have four other facilities for you to look at. You don’t have to pick right now.”

Vic smiled in relief, “Let’s go look at the other places, I want to know what all my options are.” The poor girl grabbed Teddy’s hand and practically bolted for the door. Ginny chuckled before thanking the host and arranging to bring her next clients through as well. This hall looked like the kind of thing they might just eat up.

“Remember, Vic,” Ginny said as she drove the to the next hall, “you aren’t required to give them an answer at all. I can call them and get everything set up after you’re back at home. We’ll have meetings to make sure it’s exactly what you want, so don’t let them pressure you into making decisions before you’re ready.”

“It’s your day,” Harry added, “and we’re all just here to make sure you love it.”

Ginny looked at Harry in her rearview mirror and he winked at her again. Ginny immediately looked back at the road. Why did this man have to be so, so, so, whatever, it didn’t matter. She’d let him know he didn’t need to be around for these things and then she wouldn’t see him again aside from suits and the wedding day.

Vic went through the next two venues with a bit more confidence, but the fourth venue had her staring out the window while everyone else filed out of the car.

“It looks even better out of the car, love.” Ted opened her door and offered his hand. Vic took it and slowly stepped out.

“Oh my,” she breathed.

The venue was an old converted manor house that had a very French chateaux feel. The gardens were the definition of a fairytale, even with it being late August. Roses, lilies, and freesias of every color were slowly fading but covered the beds around the house with sweet peas intermixed throughout. Greenery and trees brought an elegant balance to the whimsical colors. The entire picture was everything that Vic had described and Ginny had been the beyond excited to show it to her.

“Wait till you see inside,” Ginny beckoned Vic forward.

Ted gave her a gentle tug and Vic walked slowly, looking for all the world like she’d just walked through the gateway into Narnia.

Sara, the owner of the manor house turned chateaux reception hall, met them at the door. She showed them around the hall then the gardens. Sara painted the picture of a garden ceremony as the sun began to set. She showed where the tea would be held in the smaller hall on one end of the home, and how the reception could be either out in the gardens or in the larger hall off the main entrance. Sara even knew where the perfect place to take photographs would be and offered to speak with the photographer before the wedding so Vic would have the perfect pictures of her amazing day.

Ginny let a smug smile touch her lips as she watched her niece. This was the place, and Sara had just sealed the deal by inviting Vic and Ted to take some time to walk around and picture it for themselves.

“Why did you save this one for last?”

Ginny jumped as she realized that Harry had snuck up next to her.

“It isn’t last,” Ginny chuckled, “there’s still one more. We hit them in the order of closest to the office first.”

“But you knew she’d pick this one,” Harry stepped closer to her and Ginny felt her heart rate increase.

“I suspected she would, but I didn’t know.”

Harry gave a quiet laugh that was more of a rumble in his chest and that did things to Ginny that she hadn’t experienced in ages. “What did you do before becoming a wedding coordinator?”

“How do you know I haven’t always been a wedding coordinator?” Ginny was suddenly weary of where he was pulling that kind of personal information on her.

Harry stared at her a moment before gesturing to the engaged couple walking the gardens hand in hand. “I’m Teddy’s godfather, amazingly enough, and I do tend to talk to him. Vic talks a lot about you too when she’s at ours.”

Ginny felt her neck grow hot and a tinge of embarrassment gripped her stomach. She kept forgetting that Harry was the equivalent of Bill. He certainly didn’t look much older than her, but some people just aged well, and Harry was probably one of them. Ted was a year older than Vic, and so Ginny assumed that Harry must be closer to Bill’s age.

“I suppose that puts us on uneven footing. I know nothing about you, and you already know that this is the first time I’ve coordinated a wedding.”

Harry took another step closer to her, leaving a breath’s distance between them. “I’d be happy to put us on even footing, if that would put you at ease.”

Ginny felt her breath stop. Was he…flirting with her?

It’d been so long since she’d put herself out there that she wasn’t even sure how to respond as Harry stared down at her with those green eyes and messy hair that her fingers itched to touch.

“Aunt Ginny,” Vic apparently decided Ginny didn’t need to respond, and for the briefest moment, Ginny wished her niece would go snog her fiance for the next two or three hours and leave her be.

“Aunt Ginny, this is it!” Vic exclaimed. “This is exactly what I want! I love it, and so does Ted! Can we get it reserved right now?”

Ginny gave herself a mental shake and smiled at Vic, “Absolutely! Let’s go get Sara and we’ll get everything reserved and set for your big day.”

She led them back into the manor house and tried to shake the feeling that Harry was watching her. Instead she discreetly texted Luna and asked if she could stop by after work. She really needed someone to put her head back on straight.

Luna, thankfully, was free and Ginny dropped her crew off at the office where they’d all met up before grabbing takeaway and heading to her best friend.

“I brought your favorite,” Ginny handed the bags over to Luna when she opened her door.

Luna chuckled as she ushered Ginny in, “So what’s the emergency?”

Ginny threw herself onto Luna’s sofa and sighed, “How did you know Rolf was interested in you before you started dating?”

Luna started unloading the food, “He told me he wanted to date me.”

Ginny sighed, why couldn’t everyone be just a bit eccentric like Luna and Rolf? They were relationship goals. So straightforward and to the point with each other, and even with Rolf and Luna going separate expeditions all the time they were probably the tightest couple Ginny had ever laid eyes on.

“Who are you hoping is interested?”

Ginny shook her head, “I don’t know if I even want him to be interested. I haven’t dated since Dean and that was nearly five years ago. I’m just…confused?”

“Confused,” Luna echoed her.

“I guess,” Ginny took a bite of food to buy her some time to think.

“He isn’t a groom, is he?”

Ginny stared at her friend, almost sure she was taking the Mickey.

“He’s Ted’s godfather.”

Luna smiled and Ginny was sure now that she was being teased. Luna loved to tease in her own quiet way, especially if it meant she could tease Ginny. They’d been friends for nearly there decades and the friendly teasing seemed to pull the rug out from Ginny’s anxiety.

“I’m being ridiculous, aren’t I?”

“Only mildly,” Luna assured her with a quiet laugh. Ginny couldn’t help but join in on the laughter, and pretty soon the two friends were in a right fit of giggles on the sofa. It took several minutes before either was able to gain control of themselves.

“Now then,” Luna chuckled as she took hold of her water glass, “why don’t you fill me in on what’s going on like a sane person.”

Ginny stuck her tongue out at Luna. “I told you about Ted’s godfather, Harry, remember? Well he showed up to the venue tours today and he offered to tell me as much about himself as Vic and Ted had told him about me.”

Luna wriggled her eyebrows, “Oooh that sounds so romantic.”

“Luna, please,” Ginny groaned, “I’m trying to figure out what to do!”

“Let the man,” Luna shrugged, “you could do with a night out.”

“He didn’t ask me out for a pint,” Ginny huffed. “I don’t know what he was implying.”

“Stop being thirteen,” Luna stood and started clearing her food. “If you’re interested in the man then let him know. If you’re not, then be professional and don’t pursue him.”

“That’s the problem, I don’t know if I’m interested,” Ginny joined her in clearing their takeaway.

“I can’t help you there,” Luna put a comforting hand on Ginny’s shoulder, “you’re going to need to figure that out for yourself.”

“And that’s the hard part,” Ginny sighed.

Ginny didn’t know what she wanted. She was happy with her life, wasn’t she? She was comfortable being single, at least she thought so. Things didn’t end well with Dean and Ginny had decided she was done playing the field. She didn’t want to try and convince some guy she was worth the time of day. But what did she want? Did she really want to keep coming home to an empty flat? Did she really want to spend the rest of her life single? Or did she really just want to avoid getting burned again?

When Ginny fell into bed that night, she still didn’t know.

After meeting with Kathleen and Travis that Monday, which seemed to go off without a hitch, Ginny decided to see if Vic had time to look at the photographers portfolios with her. They would need to get engagement pictures done just as quickly as possible so they could decide on the invitations.

Vic responded to her text with a phone call.

“Hi Vicky.”

“Hi Aunt Ginny, I got your text and I’m at Ted’s. What do you think of coming over and after we pick a photographer you can stay for dinner?”

Ginny sighed, little Vicky was old enough to be the hostess now, when did that happen?

“That sounds lovely, thank you! Send me the address and I’ll leave here in fifteen minutes.”

Ginny had expected a flat. Ted was nineteen, only a year older than Vic, and she expected him to be living like a nineteen year old, in a flat, in a cheap part of town, with little food on hand. So when the GPS led Ginny out to the suburbs and a small home with a lovely little wrought iron fence and a slightly overgrown front garden, Ginny immediately checked that the addresses were the same. Everything looked to be right, so with a bit of trepidation and a lot of confusion, Ginny approached the front door and rang the bell. Her heart almost stopped when the door opened.

Harry Potter stood looking at her with those stupid green eyes and a sassy grin on his face.

“Oh good, you found it,” He stepped off to the side and motioned for Ginny to come in.

“Er, yes, the GPS led me straight to it.” Ginny’s brain was quickly catching up with what was happening. Ted obviously lived with his godfather. Ginny was going to be having dinner with Vic and Ted…and Harry.

She was pulled from her musings by a soft hand on the small of her back as Harry led her down the hall. The spot on her back where his hand was touching seemed to burn and Ginny tried not to let her labored breathing show. The home was well kept and the smells coming from the kitchen were amazing. She was just about to ask Harry for clarification on what was going on when she heard her name.

“Aunt Ginny!” Vic jumped up from the sofa as Harry led them further into the house.

“You ready to pick out your photographer?” Ginny smiled as she wrapped Vic in a hug. Work, she needed to focus on the wedding and she would be fine. Ginny could have a professional work dinner with her clients. It would be fine.

“I’m so excited!” Vic pulled her down to the sofa.

Yes. Ginny was going to focus on work, and stop imagining that Harry was watching her, because he wasn’t, she was sure he wasn’t.

Ginny pulled her tablet out of her bag along with a couple printed portfolios from photographers that the shop kept on hand. “Ok, let’s start with looking at the photos and then we can talk about which package would be right for you. No sense in paying to have a photographer all day if the wedding and reception will only be a few hours.”

Vic picked up the first portfolio with excitement and put it across her lap and Ted’s. “Wow, do you think I’ll look like that?” Vic pointed to the first image of a bride surrounded by roses.

“You’ll look more beautiful than every single picture here,” Ted kissed her cheek and Ginny smiled as Vic’s cheeks tinged pink.

“You are a flatterer, Edward.”

“And you love it,” Ted chuckled, “besides, I never say anything that isn’t true.”

Ginny remembered a time when she would have scoffed at that sort of exchange between her brothers and their wives. Even as recently as Luna and Rolf had Ginny rolled her eyes at what she considered sappy attempts to be romantic. But something about it being the next generation was different. It was heartwarming to see Vic growing up, to see her find someone who looked at her like she was his whole world, and Ginny couldn’t bring herself to be cynical of any of it.

They sorted through photographers before deciding on the one that Vic liked best and had the best rate. Ginny excused herself to what Harry called his office in order to call and make the arrangements. She was just finishing up, consultation, engagement shoot, and wedding day booked and planned, when Harry stepped in the room.

“Just checking something,” he smiled at her as he slid into his computer chair and began clicking around on his computer.

She should have left; she was already standing, she was finished with the call, she had no reason to still be in his office. But for some reason, Ginny pulled out her tablet out and looked with unseeing eyes at her calendar, alone in a room with Harry Potter.

“Were you able to get the dates for Vic and Teddy?” He slid up next to her and looked over her shoulder at the calendar.

“Yeah,” Ginny bit her lip.

Harry was close, close like he had been when he offered to tell her as much about himself as he knew about her. She chanced to look up at him and found him smiling at her. Ginny felt like she needed to say something, she needed to break this spell he’d cast over her that had somehow rendered her trapped under his gaze. But she couldn’t seem to gain control over her voice or manage to look away. His green eyes held hers and Ginny was rooted to the floor staring up at him with no idea of how to escape, and if she was honest, she didn’t want to escape.

Suddenly, Ginny felt the nearly five years since she’d been this close to a man as keenly as she would have felt five years without ice cream. Had it really been almost five years since she’d kissed anyone? Had she really gone nearly sixty months since she’d been held? How had she managed these roughly seventeen hundred days without really touching another person? There was a part of Ginny’s mind that reminded her that she was happy. She lived a fulfilling life and had wonderful friends and a loving family. But that part of her brain was being drowned out by the part of her that had sprung to life like a phoenix rising from the ashes, the part of her that wanted this, that wanted Harry.

“Do,” Ginny whispered, “do you want to come to the consultation, with the photographer?”

Harry’s grin tilted just a bit higher and he glanced down at the screen, “I think I can be there for it, probably smart too, since I’m paying the man and all.”

Ginny felt the smile pulling on her lips and she gave into it. “Yeah, got to make sure this bloke isn’t going to take your money and run.”

Harry laughed and moved closer, placing his hand on the small of her back again, “As long as he isn’t also running off with the wedding coordinator.”

Ginny stopped breathing. She honest to goodness forgot how to make her lungs pull breath in and expel it out.

“Harry,” Ted’s voice sounded down the hall. “The stove timer is going off, which dish is it for?”

Ginny saw annoyance flash in Harry’s eyes as his hand fell from her back. The lack of contact brought her breath back, but Ginny would have almost rather passed out from lack of oxygen than have him not touching her. Harry moved toward the door and Ginny watched him in slow motion as Luna’s advice rang through her ears.

“Harry,” she barely heard her own voice but Harry stopped dead in his tracks and turned towards her.

“The,” she bit her lip and took a deep breath, “the wedding coordinator is more interested in the godfather than the photographer.”

Harry’s smile bloomed on his face like a morning flower, “That’s very good news.” He winked at her before disappearing down the hallway.

Ginny felt her breath leave with him.

[sml8180]

Shot at Redemption - 08

I was on a roll, today-

Rest

After staying in Fall’s End for a few days, Rose was starting to relax. Being in town made things a lot easier, especially in terms of getting food, and there were enough people who needed an extra set of hands that she normally had something to keep herself occupied during the day. She was learning the names of a few people who had a fair influence around the town, as well. After almost two weeks, Rose had gotten to know Mary May Fairgrave, the owner of the Spread Eagle bar; Grace Armstrong, a war veteran and Olympic medalist who was well known for her sniping skills; Jerome Jeffries, another veteran who had become a preacher in Fall’s End, before Joseph lead his flock away as he grew his Project. She met a few others, too, like Nick Rye, a soon to be father and pilot, and Hurk Drubman Jr. and Sharky, who were both loud and boisterous, but seemed to mean well, in the end.

With each day that went by, Rose was starting to feel better. The last of her bruises faded, and only the worst of her cuts remained; those would take longer to heal, but they would eventually be gone, themselves. Until then, though, she would likely keep them covered up, especially around the others, to avoid having to answer any questions they might bring up. Overall, things were going well; by the end of the week, she already felt more like herself, and after a second, she was getting to be more active again, helping out more with whatever anyone needed.

It was a fairly nice day out, even with the clouds overhead. It didn’t seem like it would rain, at least. Rose woke up and got dressed, before heading down to have breakfast as she usually did. The B&B owners were a nice couple, starting to get a bit up there, when compared to other residents, but they still got on just fine. After she helped them clear away the dishes, the wife informed her that Jerome might need an extra set of hands down at the church. Thus, Rose had something to do, at least for the next few hours. She made her way to Jerome’s church towards the end of the road. The building was a bit beat up, but considering everything that had gone on, it was in halfway decent shape, aside from the collection of tarps that had been secured over a large hole in the side of the building. Rose never asked what happened, it didn’t really matter to her. Whatever had happened was already done, and the damage patched until things could be settled within the county to get supplies in to repair it properly.

The church doors were open, letting in the warm breeze from outside. Rose approached, coming up the steps and looking around a bit as she slowly entered the building. Jerome was sitting in one of the pews, reading a passage aloud from the bible he had propped up on the back of the pew ahead of him. Or, at least that was what she thought as she entered, hearing the start of a verse her father often used, Jeremiah 23:1,but what Jerome said in the second half wasn’t part of the actual verse.

“Woe to the man who leads my flock astray, says the Lord,” he had begun. “For if I am not their shepherd, then I must be the wolf.”

“Jeremiah 23:1. Not sure of the translation, I don’t remember the verse going like that,” Rose mused. Jerome turned towards her voice, closing the bible in his hands.

“That’s the base of it, but you’re right,” Jerome confirmed, standing and stepping out into the isle between the pews. “Question is, do you remember the actual verse?”

Rose paused for a moment, shutting her eyes as if it would help her recall the words she heard so often growing up. “Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of My pasture, declares the Lord.”

“Very good,” Jerome gently praised, his voice holding a hint of surprise.

Rose simply shrugged. “My father’s a preacher back in Maine. There’s a good number of verses he drilled into my head when I was a kid. Kinda surprised I remember as many of them as I do, all things considered. I’m not exactly religious, myself.”

“Oh? Knowing that, I’m a bit surprised. Is there any reason for that? If you don’t mind my asking, of course,” Jerome questioned, as he made his way to the pulpit at the front of the room, setting the bible down on top of it.

“Some of it just seems pretty out there. Personally, I don’t think there’s any kind of God out there, but, for all I know, there could be. Agnostic atheist, here. I don’t believe there’s something there, but I do believe that there’s a chance,” Rose explained. She gave a bit of a shrug as she spoke. Even growing up, Rose hadn’t believed what her parents did, that there was a God with a plan for everybody, but she was willing to believe that there could be something out there. Science and logic hadn’t yet explained everything, after all, and likely never would.

“I can understand that,” the Pastor nodded. “Could you give me a hand with cleaning this up? I’ve been chipping away at it, but there’s a lot to pick up.” He motioned to the broken wood that littered the floor and pews to Rose’s right.

Rose nodded, approaching the mess with Jerome. “That’s different.”

“What is?”

“Your response. My father usually lost it when people found out I wasn’t one for faith, and he and my mother weren’t exactly happy about it, themselves.”

“God calls us to love without exception. If you don’t believe, then that’s what you’ve decided on. Anyone who claims to be of faith but who does not love all is lost, themselves.”

“I’ve never heard it put that way, actually. But, it makes sense. In the end, people will believe what they want, and noone is of any power to try to change that.”

“Exactly.” Jerome smiled a bit, as he and Rose began to clean up some of the wood that had been sitting on the floor.

Rose and Jerome worked for a few hours, moving some of the larger boards that could be salvaged to repair the church off to the side where they would be out of the way, while they gathered some of the smaller pieces to be either used to repair other buildings or burned later and set them in a different area. With a number of the larger pieces gone, the space was already starting to look a little better. Around noon, they decided it was about time for a break, and Jerome lead Rose to his small home beside the church. He had Rose sit down at the table in the kitchen, and he made them each a sandwich, humming quietly as he worked. Soon, he was sitting with her, and after a short grace, they began to eat. They ate quietly, simply enjoying the comfortable silence and each other’s company, until Jerome spoke up.

“You said a while ago that you were in Hope County to get away from things back in Maine. If you don’t mind my asking, what exactly are you trying to get away from?” His question was genuine, and he was careful with how he worded it, as if he didn’t want to come off as judgemental.

“When you’ve got a bad rep in a small town, you can’t exactly get away from it without leaving,” Rose simply answered. “I wasn’t exactly known for being a model citizen back there, and people don’t easily forgive and forget around there.”

“I’m going to guess you had some trouble with the law back then?”

“Yeah. Got arrested a couple times, escorted by police back to my parents’ place who knows how many times, that kinda thing. Family wasn’t too happy about it. They went so far as to put me into basic training right out of high school because I said I wasn’t planning on college. Spent a year in the service, got out, and found someplace else.”

Jerome nodded a bit, letting silence fall again as they finished their lunch. After the dishes were set in the sink, they made their way back to the church to continue working. As the hours went by, they talked about various things; their time in the service, how Jerome decided to become a Pastor, the places Rose had traveled through, really anything that came to mind. They worked until the sun started to set, at which point Jerome bid Rose goodnight, and she made her way back to the B&B.

After eating dinner, Rose was in her room, having taken a shower and put on one of her larger T-shirts for the night. She finished braiding her hair for the night, and was looking through her bag. She had already worked in her journal, and didn’t have much else to add to it. As she went through her bag, her fingers brushed against the soft white leather cover of the Book of Joseph she had, and she sighed, before pulling it out along with her radio. Rose set the radio on the nightstand by her bed, and settled down, her back resting against the pillows as she opened up to her marked page and started to read. Rose’s brain seemed to be in overdrive that night, not wanting to slow down and let her get any rest. As she read the book in her hands, she couldn’t help but think about the brothers. Specifically, she couldn’t keep John out of her mind. As much as Blue irritated her, she couldn’t help but feel like she wanted to learn more about him. Her gaze fell to her radio, time and time again as she tried to focus. After what felt like ages of fighting with herself, Rose sighed, marking her place in the book and grabbing her radio, turning the device on and turning to frequency thirty. As she tuned into the frequency, she caught a voice, just starting to speak.

“Are you there? Where are you? Please answer, Rose.”

Taglist: @deputyoneill @johnseedthot @deputyshitlordsantana @jacobsmusicbox @farcrying5 @johnseedsplane @rookieseed @ignoranttruly

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: oi walsh Ali: wanna go to a party where the guestlist is undesirable Ali: not in the cool way Ali: but the drinks will be aplenty Carly: u had me @ party but keep talking Ali: obviously you love when I chat you up Ali: family function but they ain't gonna force smalltalk on you w the booze, like so no fear Carly: love wen ur offering 2 take me away Carly: compliments are a beautiful bonus Carly: ur hot bro gonna b there?? Ali: easy Ali: take you somewhere better than wherever he is after if you play your cards right Ali: and someone isn't too OD'd on beer and BBQ by tonight to organise a decent shindig Carly: yea lads r sooo easy Carly: its boring Carly: showing my cards we should get some 💊 & fly through it Ali: 👌 Ali: sadly my mother refuses to address her issues so no stocked medicine cabinet here to raid Ali: I'll ask about Carly: ha Carly: mine don't Carly: I've got this Carly: show your love later Ali: 🙌 Ali: gimme her number Ali: put in the groundwork now like the overachiever I am Carly: [does give her number out] Carly: k but you love me more Ali: obviously Ali: love of my life Ali: gotta rep my manners with your ma though Carly: said as ur slipping ur 💍 off & giving some other bitch the 👀 Carly: how my da works Ali: hmm Ali: better leave her alone then Ali: don't need to repeat her mistakes Carly: if 1 person did the cabinet wouldn't be full for us Carly: let's keep one 'rent 💔 at a time Ali: smart Ali: that's why you're my bae Carly: its cos I kno how to juggle 💘 Carly: & other body parts ofc Ali: 😂 Ali: and a decent trip, hopefully 🤞 Ali: your mum's got a mixture, yeah or do I need to bring tissues Ali: or 🥊 Ali: what's the #mood Carly: whatever you want it to be baby Carly: shes got docs wrapped around her finger Carly: hers anyway Carly: mine's a woman & she refuses to flirt w her own gender Ali: k am a bit in love with her now Ali: soz Ali: clearly send her in, she'll change her tune and your prescription Carly: other than my da who isnt Carly: taught me everything I kno Carly: leave her a message she'll hit you back if you pretend to be hot lad Ali: 💔 that Carly: same I could have two mas Carly: more clothes & drugs to steal Ali: idk, my missus might reckon your da's a style icon Carly: ha Carly: she coming? Ali: nah Ali: you wanna see actual flirting w a middle-aged woman, like, she's your woman Ali: I can't Carly: on her bday she'll propose a 3way w ur ma Carly: been there Ali: 🤢 Ali: that's vile Ali: her diehard need to be more chivalrous than any man should work in my favour for once, like Carly: k Carly: tell me I'm wrong wen she's 1 year older & you ain't had to nah that Ali: bold of you to assume we won't be happily married by then, babe Ali: it ain't til feb Ali: hint hint buy me something Carly: ur married to me Carly: so you gotta say no Carly: & i kno ur a typical aquarius Carly: but I said hers you weren't listening such a hubby mood Ali: wish I could be the man you want and say I don't remember when it is Ali: but I think I do so Ali: 💔 fucking estrogen and empathy strikes again Ali: ultimate cockblock Carly: im not wrapping myself in a ribbon for her so idc when it is Ali: gutted for her Ali: when's yours then Carly: I'm a gemini girl Carly: guess Ali: ah fuck Ali: gonna have to kick it belated Ali: just means I have to go harder so enjoy Ali: hmm Ali: gonna go for 21st Carly: 😢 Carly: nope Ali: damn Ali: just wishful thinking I'd only just missed it, tbh Ali: it's June though, not May Ali: I'm positive Carly: yea Ali: I'll ask our mans Ali: shake him down for all that knowledge I'm sure he's hiding Carly: try it Carly: be funny Carly: how wrong he is Ali: counting on it Ali: how else am I stealing his girl Carly: im not his Carly: already yours Ali: 'course Ali: you seen him much since partygate Carly: just waved him out before you hit me w your invite Carly: y i said yea so fast Ali: I get it Ali: making him leave was always harder than it had any right being Ali: least he didn't invite himself Carly: he makes himself comfortable if I am or not Carly: revolving door on this caravan too so Ali: having 'nam flashbacks Ali: yikes Ali: let's not waste any more time talking 'bout exes tonight Ali: or currents Carly: did your ma let him in on her way out too or does she only like the girls ur w? Carly: aw you don't wanna talk Carly: let me apply gloss hold on Ali: safe to assume he's not coming 'cos of multiple people Ali: not just Lene Ali: 🍓 if you got it, babe Carly: & she's not coming cos of multiple ppl not just ur ma Carly: you not a 🍒 girl hm Carly: interesting Ali: she's not coming 'cos I ain't asked her Ali: awkward if my mother has taken the initiative but help the party go with a swing, I guess Ali: nah, you're a 🍓 girl Ali: too sweet for 🍒 Carly: cos you asked me i kno 😍 so cute Carly: aw you want me to taste how i naturally do Carly: even cuter Ali: be more fun Ali: invite her to my next protest or something more fitting Ali: nothing personal Carly: hey i can be loud Carly: do it all the time Ali: aw you want all her invites now? 😏 Carly: yea Carly: you want me you got me 💍 Ali: alright Ali: you're on Carly: k Ali: get ready for so many adventures Carly: 😊 Carly: wot am i wearing to this 1? Carly: gotta dress for hot bros & disapproving mas Ali: 🙄 Ali: if that's the mood you wanna go for Ali: though idk why you'd choose that over turning my head but go off, honey Carly: i can do that in what Im wearing rn Carly: gimme a challenge Ali: love the confidence Ali: my ma ain't but you will need it with my brother Carly: they all play hard to get until i get there Carly: being easy keeps it easy for them Carly: not my first bbq Ali: nah babe Ali: remember, we're ditching before it gets to that part of the evening Ali: soz to 💔 but I'll be nicer about it than he would so also welcome Carly: throw the keys in the salad bowl as soon as i get there idc Carly: no foreplay needed Ali: gotta get you outta the caravan park more, babe7 Carly: yea Carly: im walking now before he can follow me Ali: meet you halfway? Ali: will bring a crowbar if he's being that clingy Carly: ha Carly: im in the stash don't be sad Carly: ill leave you lots Ali: 👍 leave me chance to catch up too and no worries Carly: ofc Carly: 💙 Ali: you're a doll Carly: yea thats y everyone wants to fuck me Ali: nah Ali: plenty of other reasons for that though Carly: its k you dont need to list off ur compliments 1 per 💊 Carly: i feel the love Ali: you ain't saving me that many, I know 💚 Carly: aw Carly: ur so sweet Ali: nicer to my wives than my girlfriends, obvs Ali: pecking order Carly: 😊 Carly: she's still lucky to have you cos ur an angel to me Ali: you Ali: trust, no angel Ali: and that ain't some juvenile attempt at a brag there Carly: it's a flirt 😈😉 ha Carly: you wanna misbehave w me in front of your whole fam im there Ali: assuming my brother ain't up for it, obvs Carly: cant i have both Carly: what kind of bi r u Ali: one that don't like her brother's handmedowns Ali: lived that life long enough Ali: he ain't a style icon either Carly: ur first Carly: hes maybe Ali: was hoping if we skipped ronan and lene off the guestlist we could avoid the punch-up, tbh babe Carly: aw you dont wanna fight for me Carly: 💔😢 Ali: I mean my brother's girlfriend will have you Ali: only tryna protect, not kill your vibe Carly: scarier than your gf? Ali: deffo Ali: she wishes, the real threesome request that'll spell the end of it all 🙄 Carly: hes forgotten then Carly: be more fun just me & you Ali: obviously Ali: been tryna tell you but easier to prove it Carly: k Carly: ready when you are Ali: soz, forgot shoes Ali: gimme 5 Carly: ha Carly: im not wearing any & im fine Carly: you just wanna do a last mirror check for me 💙 so cute Ali: 😂 Ali: such a pisstake, you walsh Carly: part time flower child you Carly: but its k i still love you Ali: just defending why I'm being so slow Ali: obvs my 😍 weighing me down but lemme have some pride, woman Carly: ha Carly: you're my cute 🐌 Ali: now you're gonna be adorable, fucking hell Ali: you're dangerous Carly: if you cant handle me now wait til I come up Carly: 💊s are the real danger baby Ali: I'll be caught up by then Ali: might have to double-down but I can handle that, no worries Carly: they r being so slow 😢😢😢 Ali: ride it out, baby Carly: you sounded like him then Carly: except hes never called me baby ever Ali: oh dear Ali: I've gone full dickhead Ali: 😬 Ali: I'll take it down a notch Carly: no youre being sweet Carly: theres just lots of ways to trigger a fuck flashback when youre me Carly: dont change Ali: dunno if I could but glad you still wanna keep me around Carly: ofc Carly: i love you Ali: you're so pure Carly: not for years soz boo Carly: & this stash aint either Carly: such a let down 💔😢 Ali: shh Ali: we can make it work Ali: there's enough here to get crossfaded Carly: just dont hate me k Ali: why and how could I ever Ali: silly wabbit Carly: easily Carly: my phones full of Ali: you gonna fuck my girlfriend? Ali: or me and leg it Ali: neither's likely so we're all good, baby girl Carly: she scares me still even if she would have an amazing collection of giant strap ons Ali: 😂 Ali: well I can neither confirm nor deny Carly: no need its every lesbian of her kind Carly: labelled herself Ali: just don't bring up penis envy Ali: she'll lose it Ali: #freudstarteditbabe Carly: can i ask her what she'd do first if she woke up w one? Carly: fave ice breaker Ali: it is gold Ali: but save it 'cos it's just me and you remember Carly: do you wanna know my answer Ali: of course Carly: guess Carly: you owe me a right answer for my wrong bday Ali: Hmm okay Ali: would you Ali: bang as many people as humanly possible Carly: i do that anyway Ali: well you get banged, if we wanna be misogynistic about it Ali: I know what I'd do Carly: more fun with more holes tho so I'm not mad Carly: first thing I'd do is measure to see if I need to brag or exaggerate Ali: pragmatic of you Ali: hadn't even considered that Carly: wanna know if mine's bigger than the lads I've been w ofc Carly: size matters idc what small dicked lads are trying to say Ali: yeah but they're always thinking length when really Ali: girth is where it's at Carly: yea Carly: shouldve taught that in school Ali: how to measure circumference Ali: they defs did Carly: yea?? Carly: idk Ali: I'll show you Ali: on a beer can Ali: unrealistic expectation but you get the idea Carly: all my expectations r unrealistic Carly: make me cum is a stretch for most lads on site Ali: babe Ali: gonna make me 😥 Carly: youre the pure 1 aint you Carly: aw Ali: hardly Ali: saying at least I get that, like Ali: minimum Carly: your gf has some uses that arent being your ma's BFF Ali: precisely Ali: I would've been a bit kinder with it but in a nutshell Ali: what about ronan at least Carly: have you forgotten him now youve upgraded Carly: shouldnt need my review Ali: shh, he'll cry Carly: he was when i wouldnt let him stay for dinner idc Ali: poor boy 😏 Carly: one of his other girls can cook for him Carly: my ma aint there & i aint doing it Ali: he needs to just give in and marry one of his own Ali: it's what he wants, no matter what he reckons Carly: he told me he is Carly: but hes said worse for a fuck so idk Ali: rude Ali: where's my invite to mourn my loss, boy Carly: ill tell him to text you Carly: wont have lost your number Ali: got the drunk texts to prove it Ali: bless Carly: ha Carly: only answer mine tho Carly: 💍 perks Ali: only if I ain't also there with ya Carly: yea Carly: youre gonna b w me forever so Ali: I'll just tell you in person then Ali: if you tell me Ali: deal? Carly: k Carly: i feel happy Carly: 😊😊😊😊😊 Ali: you're on your way Ali: where are you, btw Carly: the longest road ever Ali: hm, tell me about it Ali: I'll run Ali: in dramatic, sexy slo-mo Carly: me too Carly: only way i run Carly: see you when we collide Ali: wifey goals Ali: won't even try and make it our lips that collide Ali: scout's honour Carly: anticipations more fun Carly: plenty of other places I can touch you first Ali: we'll pretend you meant my 💘 Carly: i did that first night @ first 👀 Ali: no lie, we'll have to think of somewhere else innocent-sounding then Ali: do some experimenting, straight girl Carly: i have Carly: i told you ready when you are Ali: I told you, dangerous Carly: only if you get caught Carly: i won't tell if you don't Carly: so good at keeping secrets Ali: I'll sort it Ali: I made vows Ali: she'll understand Carly: were just taking them seriously Carly: nobody can be mad about that Ali: deadly, like Ali: also forgot a bra, naturally and this run is killing me Carly: somewhere innocent I can touch you then Carly: god works in obvious ways Carly: like you Ali: please Ali: if I was doing it for your benefit sure I'd put one on Ali: show 'em off Carly: you kno you dont need to Carly: not your first bbq either Ali: 😏 Ali: maybe Carly: no maybe u kno Carly: & you can feel my 😍 Carly: travelling faster than my slo mo run Ali: love being your wcw, babe 😉 Carly: idk what that is Carly: but if the first letters arent wild child I'm sad Ali: that's far less straight girl so we'll go with it Ali: hope for you yet, like Carly: youre not gonna tell me what it means Ali: woman crush wednesday Ali: used exclusively by girls like Leesha and that Carly: omg i think my ma said that @ the telly the other night Carly: it wasnt wednesday Ali: feeling like hyping up Chezza whatever the night Ali: I 👀 you Carly: but youre wrong Carly: i dont have a crush on you i love you Ali: so if I need a kidney you're down Ali: but no gay shit Ali: 👌 Carly: yea cos whats mine is yours Carly: all of me Carly: so you can have anything you want Ali: good to know Ali: make a killing on the black market Carly: just tell me if youre draining me in the tub so i can have a good last nite before Carly: & stop making me beg for gay shit that's not a mood Carly: i dont do the begging its the other way round Carly: ask anyone Ali: of course Ali: I ain't an animal Ali: you don't have to beg Carly: what do you want me to say then Ali: what you want Ali: obviously Carly: find me Carly: you can do that yea Ali: easy Ali: [does 'cos how long can one road be] Carly: [most excited hug that turns into the longest hug & moment because well we know] Ali: [turns it into linking arms and walking 'fore shit gets too real here] Carly: [is just happy & loling & chatting shit which is endless compliments basically like her eyes being tiny skies & sunshine hair etc you get the idea because high af] Ali: [is listening and not dismissing it 'cos not that bitch but also knows she's high so not being like ooh lol, 'you're so pure'] Carly: [dramatically stops cos remembers suddenly that she needs to give Ali her share so does, sad & mad at herself like she's so upset she nearly forgot bless] Ali: [cups her chin like hey and tells her it's okay whilst looking in her eyes as she takes her share] Carly: [back to being smiley just like that because reassurance bitch & takes her hand & leads her along cos handholding ftw] Ali: [is happy she's happy again] Carly: [her phone is going off cos Ronan but she's ignoring cos only got eyes for Alison rn] Ali: ['you put love eggs in or?'] Carly: [talks in depth about how she's drawing the line at borrowing that kinda shit from her ma cos oversharer even when she ain't high & also throws her phone to Ali playfully like no look so we can imagine how lovely those messages are even just from the first line preview thing] Ali: [takes Carly's thumb so she can open it and reply 'cos that bitch] Carly: [is just loling even though this is such a bad idea] Ali: [schools him in a way that probably sounds familiar lbr] Carly: [then a selfie sesh cos those bitches they love themselves] Ali: [takes her sunnies off her head and puts 'em on Carly 'cos her eyes are massive/pinholed depending which way we're rocking this lol] Ali: [does a 'shh' like no one's gonna know] Carly: [you know she's keeping them sunnies forever now soz] Ali: [just swinging their arms having a gay old time] Carly: [just singing something as they going cos no stage fright when high af & her voice is nice so its a moment] Ali: [😍] Carly: [more compliments when she notices Ali is looking at her cos she's pretty af lbr] Ali: ['how many other hidden talents you got, like?'] Carly: [thinks about it way harder than the question warrants like its a hard question cos lowkey is when you don't reckon you got any skills. Says 11 cos bday clue & lucky number with a mysterious expression like but then laughs cos if she has to ever back that up awks] Ali: [lols back but squeezes her hand like don't doubt it] Carly: [looks down at her feet because actually is shoeless here 'how far?'] Ali: [gestures like 'piggyback?' but ain't that far in my mind] Carly: [accepts because always, good thing Ali is strong & Carly is skinny cos they literally the same height] Ali: [galloping about and into your function like idiots 'cos she's coming up now too] Carly: [miracle that Carly don't fall cos not holding on properly cos wants to stretch her arms out so its like a bike with no handlebars situation lol] Ali: [imagine everyone's faces lmao] Carly: [Tess scowl be like seen from space] Ali: [gets situated on the grass and is just helping herself to drinks Carly: [is just having a little dance by herself cos feeling great not soz everyone especially not soz Ro cos you wish you could babe] Ali: [at least little rock can join in] Carly: [aw the two of them dancing together like cute nerds & she's spinning him round & everything] Ali: [just ignoring all her fam's questions and being chatty af like nothing's weird 'cos high, then joining in 'cos duh more fun[ Carly: [all you can hear is Carly's laugh which is the best so deal with it fam thank you, let my sweet baby angel be happy] Ali: [when you being blatant af] Carly: [when you don't need to be touching a girl who has a girlfriend this much when you dancing in a non sexy way but you is] Ali: [defs need a sprinkler they can all be running through] Carly: [wet t-shirts ftw I see you] Ali: [is motioning like come to my room but not like that lads, just get some weed like you need it] Carly: [takes some drinks with her but the only mental image I have is when Lily in Skins with armfuls when she says keep your vagina on & I'm loling] Ali: [hey ro hey] Carly: [okay but Carly trying to talk to her & being so nice cos she's so pure & Ro being so rude] Ali: [even in her state given her all the disappointed looks like ??] Carly: [this sweet child laughing it off cos how she do but how dare you Ro, I'm mad] Ali: [going to the kitchen for food, accidental ultimate ro shade] Carly: [just following Ali cos she's never been here & don't know where she's going but quieter cos you can tell she's thinking what did I do wrong cos how her brain works] Ali: [being reassuring af] Carly: [sitting on the kitchen counter swinging her legs looking so cute with her dirty feet & drinks from the tap cos she do what she want] Ali: ['you look beautiful'] Carly: [smiles & laughs like its chill but is seriously 😳 cos who says nice things to her like this ever] Ali: [gets them and rocky ice lollies bye everyone else] Carly: [when you eating it seductively without being aware or trying to be that cos its your life] Ali: [is giggling 'cos high] Carly: [more compliments because how cute] Ali: [lays her head in her lap to 'cloudgaze' aka sneak peeks] Carly: [playing with her hair & freckles sporadically because she's soft & intimate like that, be more blatant girl, love it] Ali: [doing daisychain around her wrist 'cos bringing it back] Carly: [finally remembers there are drinks so is on that but v distracted looking at & touching Ali, oh girl same we all would] Ali: [tryna be chill but obvs into it regardless of how 'straight she is] Carly: [lies in the grass & does snow angel moves like she can flatten the grass & make one, god bless you babe, brings Ali with her so they just snuggling cos we can be this blatant] Ali: [just stroking her hair nbd] Carly: [loves it & is making it known by talking about how good it feels & throwing out compliments like its her job sorry for how gay this is everyone but she thinks Ali is the best so] Ali: [backatcha telling her how pure and sweet she is and they're just blabbing at each other] Carly: [soz k stew but this is cute] Ali: [when you wanna kiss her so bad 'cos you're high and happy and this is a mood] Carly: [I'll either save or condemn us cos she's gonna go take some more pills so they don't wear off so they could be alone if Ali goes with & she'd be dragging her along so v dangerous] Ali: [looking at themselves in the mirror and making funny faces] Carly: [& Carly just peeing cos no shame, same tbh] Ali: [but doing like war/festival style paint on each other's face with like, whatever lipstick has been left in that bathroom] Carly: [but think how close Ali would have to be to her face to do that like how has she not kissed her, applause needed honestly] Ali: [draws a lil heart on Carly's nose] Carly: [can't stop looking at herself cos loves it] Ali: [takes loads of pictures, improtu bathroom photoshoot sesh] Carly: [likewise taking loads of pics of Ali but like weird close ups cos she gaaaaaaaay & focused on the details] Ali: [posing 'cos we know she's about it lmao] Carly: [more touching of freckles like she's gonna draw something connect the dots style but just using her fingers cos they are perfect as they are & she'd say so] Ali: [not much would phase her but she would be blushing rn] Carly: [just gushing about how adorable she is endlessly like it'd be too much from anyone else] Ali: [keeps saying ILY 'cos being off your face ftw] Carly: [saying it back of course & all the terms of endearment like baby, angel etc cos that's just how she is anyway] Ali: [someone, probably Tess, banging on the door like they're desperate, we see you ma] Carly: [jumps out of her skin, again same] Ali: [hugs her protectively] Carly: [smelling her hair like a peak gay during the hug because lbr it'd smell nice, no shade or shame here, more compliments for that obvs] Ali: [going back downstairs before there's a brawl but when you ain't even phased 'cos something happening here deal fam Carly: [when you lowkey dancing your way back out cos you happy af & you find the dog on the way so you're carrying him with you & kissing & loving him & its adorable sorry bye] Ali: [and spuds such a funny looking boy lmao] Carly: [lying on the grass again spooning the dog & singing to him probably a song from when she was little & her mum cared like he a baby] Ali: [just watching and melting 'cos actually so cute, don't cry bitch lmao] Carly: [sees her & crawls over like hey, curling up with her again because the lap is a mood forever & we need to claim it from your future child for the gays] Ali: [doing teeny tiny plaits in her hair and humming the song she was just singing to the dog] Carly: [just chatting shit the whole time soz everyone else but they loving life let them be] Ali: [just getting to know each other hardcore 'cos neither of them has much time for small talk or bullshit anyway so on drugs it'd be like 1000 percent more intense, also shamelessly ignore a call and multiple texts from your actual girlfriend] Carly: [but then after all that because I'm evil & she's 'straight' let's say she makes eye contact with Fraze somehow so off she goes to flirt with him as if that's even a possibility when you know it'd just be annoying like her taking his 🚬 to try & be so cool & seductive, babe no. He's just like Ali control your girls] Ali: [is annoyed but not gonna do anything unless it got more dramatic like you deal, casually going through her phone to find a party or something] Carly: [Fraze just being such a dickhead soz Carly also knowing that's Bea's lipstick because of course he does so loling about her & Ali's impending doom] Carly: [also Ro coming out cos someone made her to 'eat' so just being super judgey such joy] Ali: [fully like fuck this like don't kill my vibe fam so walking like she just gonna go in the house but really she peacing] Ali: if ur done come back out Carly: where d u go? Ali: found us a party Carly: k Carly: [catches up to her like oh hey] Ali: [tells her it ain't far to go and starts walking] Carly: [looks down at her feet like she only just remembered she's not wearing shoes but doesn't miss a beat in keeping in step with her because being gay is more important] Carly: dont b mad @ me Ali: [looks down too and is like, we can go get shoes first if you want lol] Ali: I ain't Carly: the colours around you have changed Carly: i kno u r Ali: nah it's like Ali: hmm Ali: I'm not sure what it's like Carly: like me again Carly: [is saying sorry because always quick to that one] Ali: ['I do, you don't need to say that'] Carly: [trying to give Ali her drink as a peace offering like hmm I've done something wrong must make amends somehow] Carly: [& then more pills when she remembers she has them still] Ali: [shrugs like why not and accepts, cue Leesha and probably her 'best' friend tottering out of her house looking the most overdressed] Carly: [Carly loling because she has the whole day but these bitches taking it as a slight against their everything] Ali: [Leesha started shouting the odds 'cos mother's daughter and obvs already white girl wasted, Ali like let's just go 'cos over it] Carly: [Carly offering her pills cos change your mood babe & being looked at like she's offering poison, you've been there before Leesha I get it] Ali: [tryna lowkey drag her away before this becomes the Thing tm they want it to be for the #drama] Carly: [Carly just chatting about Ali's heroics & how sweet she is cos knight in shining armor for her forever lbr just like 😍] Ali: [loling] Carly: [Carly just out the blue like 'you should kiss her, then she'd be happier' like no babe Leesha ain't you but I love the softness of your world view] Ali: ['fully converted, are you?'] Carly: [lols but is also like 'you haven't kissed me yet' with a cute little pouty face as she walks on slightly ahead looking at the sky] Ali: ['Night still young, baby'] Carly: [clearly is buzzing about this & not hiding that 'I love you more than her' how unspecific she could mean Leesha or K stew or both, god bless] Ali: [is all 'I know' but not 'cos she's a cocky bitch lmao 'cos you're pure'] Carly: [puts her arms up like a child who wants to be picked up cos she wants Ali to carry her into the party] Ali: [does 'cos duh even if she's joking about how high maintenance she is] Carly: [snuggling into her the whole time cos she's soft] Ali: [let's hope it's not too far, probably some 20-something hippie waster's chill thing] Carly: [when you humming but using Ali's heartbeat as your basis for a tune cos gaaaaaaaaaaay] Ali: [when you're harmonizing] Carly: [#goals for real] Carly: [but then she gotta stop so she can compliment Ali again cos we know her voice is fire but Carly didn't necessarily know this] Ali: ['we should jam for real some time'] Carly: [cue her rambling stage fright reveal because like we said no time for bullshit so its just being put out there & she's like 'you'll have to sing to me'] Ali: [is like okay but silently thinking of all the ways she could help her confidence 'cos that bitch but not gonna be pushy and patronizing about it 'cos not THAT bitch] Carly: [just staring at her adorably all like 'what are you thinking about?'] Ali: ['you'] Carly: [such a big smile but also blushing 'good things?'] Ali: [just gives her a look that's like what do you think and obviously, yes] Carly: [a big hug moment and kisses her on her forehead cos where the thoughts come from] Ali: [the mess of lipstick their faces are] Carly: [they must look crazy, living for it] Ali: [good thing no one at this party will care, turn up and chatting to people and the usual] Carly: [there should be someone there for Carly to hook up with to hurt Ali's heart & reaffirm the 'straightness'] Ali: [when you can't 'cos you got a gf, gutted] Carly: [who is probably still trying to contact you cos highkey] Ali: [text her back girl, come on] Carly: [do it while your real gf is getting you a drink lol] Ali: [let's text]

[sunsetinmyvein]

Just Off the Key of Reason - Chapter Nine - We Don’t Fight Fair

A/N - This entire story (yep, the whole. damn. thing.) was inspired by this minute and a half long Fall Out Boy interview below and me thinking "I bet he would be mortified if it turned out to actually be a girl."

https://youtu.be/x6fG9fh4lMk

Anyway.

Friday, 30th of March, 2007 – Cincinnati, Ohio

They walked down the narrow hotel hallway, her trailing behind Pete and Patrick but in front of Andy and Joe. “You guys have an interview with…” She pulled her phone out of her pocket to check the name she had written down “Rage? I think? Well, they didn’t call it an interview; I think you might just be talking about stuff.”

“Stuff?” Joe asked with an eyebrow raised.

“I dunno, Chicago and punk music and things.” She suggested with a shrug. Andy laughed lightly to himself, wondering why as a band they were so frequently derived down to only two topics. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had asked him about a different genre. “They haven’t given you a prompt or question to open with so I guess you can just say whatever you want.”

“That’s an unwise thing to tell us.” Pete gave a dark chuckle, already trying to work out what mayhem he could create.

“If you guys don’t do what they want, it’s only their own fault. They’re a music TV show so maybe hang around that sort of theme.”

They walked into the hotel room where they were supposed to be meeting the representative from the station; as per usual it was under furnished but trying to be homely in that all-too-familiar hotel way. A guy was sitting on a nearby arm chair smoking a cigarette, donned in a worn-out suit as he flipped through some paperwork. He stood up to greet the boys when they came in before gesturing for them to sit on the couch. They shared a collective look of confusion before cramming themselves into the considerably small leather three-seater. Patrick adjusted his cap and slipped his glasses into his pocket, trying to maintain a consistent image for the band. She excused herself for a moment, deciding it would be a decent time to check in with her manager while they were occupied; Pete surely couldn’t cause that much trouble while under surveillance and trapped in that couch they all barely fit in.

The rep handed them a list of songs before butting out his cigarette. Andy could feel the smell sitting at the back of his throat, glad that it would finally start to dissipate. “This here is a list of clips we can play during the show, if any strike your fancy, feel free to talk about them and we’ll play your interview before that song. We’ll just keep the camera rolling the whole time you guys are here and cut out the bits we need.” He explained as he began fiddling with the equipment.

“Are we like… announcing them?” Patrick asked in confusion. The guy nodded before hitting record and giving them a thumbs-up. One name on the list caught his attention and he was reminded of when he first heard it, so he decided to roll with that. “So, this next song, um, I… remember being in fifth grade and a friend of mine, um, like…” He tried his best to not stuff up telling the story, but interviews were harder when you weren’t asked questions and were just expected to talk. He was never good at talking at the best of times, let alone when he knew people would be seeing it and analysing it over and over. “Taking me under-under the table, the teacher wasn’t watching-”

“Making out with him” Pete interrupted with a chuckle.        

“Shut up.” Patrick instantly countered, wanting none of Pete’s crap today.

“I was in high school then, man.” Andy chipped in as he leaned forward, totally ignoring Pete’s comment.

“Yeah, okay.” He said dismissively, trying to continue the story.

“These two dudes kissed.” Pete added. Joe was trying his best not to laugh as he knew laughing would only made Pete worse, and he could see Patrick’s agitation building.        

“You were a baby…” Andy mused, leaning back in his chair as he ran off with that train of thought. He often forgot that Joe and Patrick were so much younger than himself and Pete.  

“All right, finish the story, you kissed the dude and then what happened?” Pete gestured back to Patrick with a playful smile, who only shook his head in response. He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration before continuing.

“And bein’ like… bein’ like… ‘some-day you’re gonna meet this dude, Pete Wentz, and he’s gonna be a total ass.’” Patrick said, smiling to himself at the dig at his friend. “‘But don’t worry, this band is so cool.’ And he put on these headphones and played this thing for me, and it was awesome. And it was Green day’s basket case.” He said as he finished the story. The man nodded from behind the camera, clearly happy enough at the content he’d filmed.

  They talked for a bit about how great the music video was for the song as she slipped back into the room. Everyone but Andy was too invested in their conversation to notice her presence, he flashed her a smile as she walked over to them. She slowly moved her way behind the couch, trying her best not to disturb their interview. Her manager had told her to ask Patrick when he wanted to come and pick up his repaired Gretsch that had been sent to a nearby music store in Ohio, and she knew he wouldn’t want to wait to hear that it was finally ready. He had complained constantly at the last few shows because he wasn’t able to use it. The band took a second look at the sheet of songs on the table in front of them, trying to pick another. Joe leaned forward and pointed at one on the page before sitting back, giving her a small smile as he saw her. She was about to tap Patrick on the back but he started talking. “So…” She figured it was probably best to wait until after they were done and went to shuffle back from behind the couch to the side of the room. Pete grabbed her wrist with a smirk as she was about to move away, stopping in her in tracks, before he lightly dragged her fingers down Patrick’s back. “being from Chicago, um…” He paused, swallowing hard. She rolled her eyes at Pete’s antics, feeling Patrick tense up under the contact. “there aren’t a lot of bands, that uh…” He pulled her hand down to the small of his back, moving it to draw lazy circles. “we got to look up to and I think someone’s touching my back right now.” He rushed out the last part as he bit down on his lip for a moment, Joe sniggered next to him as he glanced at Pete’s grip on her wrist. “It’s really distracting.” He apologised to the camera.

“No, it’s a hot girl.” Pete replied as he looked up at her and winked. She wondered if he remembered calling her jealous in the bar that night, or was just being annoying in general.

“But I’m not gonna look.” Patrick continued, ignoring Pete as he shook his head lightly. The two uncomfortable parties tried their best not to give Pete the reaction they knew he wanted.

“No, it’s a hot girl in the interview.” Pete repeated, continuing to move her hand.

“’Cause I know it’s not a hot girl.” He kept going, trying to ignore whatever he assumed Pete was doing.

“Does it feel like a hot girl? Kinda?” She felt herself blush and tried to move her hand out of Pete’s grasp unsuccessfully.

“N-not really…” He stammered. At this point, Joe couldn’t hold his laughter in anymore.

“Aw c’mon.” He pressed as he practically yanked her hand to be at the waistline of his pants. Her eyes widened for a moment before her inner embarrassment took over and she pulled her hand away from the bassist.

“Oh… gross.” Patrick shuddered, making a mental note to think of a way to pay Pete back for this.

  “All right, so, um… being from-” He tried to start again.

“I think he was kinda into it for a second.” Pete laughed, looking over his shoulder at her. She shook her head at him before sticking her tongue out. Just once she wished that Pete wouldn’t try and cause drama, particularly in interviews when they were being recorded. The label hadn’t wanted her to be in any of their promotional material.

“Not for a second.” Patrick defended. She couldn’t help but feel a little hurt by the answer, but she shrugged it off with the knowledge that Patrick was unaware it was even her doing it. She leaned back on the wall until they’d finished the interview and she could excuse herself without ruining their shot.

“He thought a hot girl materialised out of the wall. He’s like ‘aw, maybe.’ ” Pete turned his attention back to his friend, grinning madly.

“Just maybe! That’s my best chance!” He laughed, turning around to look at Pete and suddenly meeting her gaze. He let out a surprised squeak, unaware that she’d been there the whole time. She gave him a sheepish smile as he felt his stomach drop. He suddenly realised it had not been Pete touching him and everything he had just said flooded back into his mind. Oh, no…

“Maybe Harry Potter is real.” Pete continued to joke. Patrick pulled his cap low over his eyes and shrunk into the couch, wanting nothing more than to leave this interview, hotel, state, country, and crawl under a rock to never be heard from again.

“Patrick, do you remember how you heard about this band? Alkaline Trio?” Joe asked, seeing his friend’s discomfort and doing his best to help.

“How I heard about Alkaline Trio?” He mumbled, trying to get back on his original train of thought.

“Yeah.” Joe nodded, trying to recover the interview and make Pete shut up. Despite the obvious discomfort, the rep seemed to be eating it up, loving that he’d have this relationship between the band members to show off on his show.

  Patrick was able to talk enough about the band to get a successful take for their program before deciding to call the interview there.

“That’s enough, right?” He asked as soon as he’d finished, standing up from the couch and not leaving them any time to call him back if it wasn’t. He darted out of the room and began walking down the hallway towards their bus. The rep was taken aback but his sudden exit, but had already gotten more than enough for what he needed. He shut off his camera and began packing away his things, thanking them for their time.

“Why do you have to be like that?” She huffed as she moved her gaze from the now closed door to Pete.

“You said we could say whatever we wanted.” He shrugged. Joe rolled his eyes, standing up and brushing off his pants before heading out the door.

“I said you could say whatever you wanted, not do whatever. And also, what you wanted, not me! I was not meant to be involved in that interview.” She argued.

“But I did want that.” He grinned up at her, flashing his teeth.

“Well, now you can go apologise to him.”

“Break it up you two.” Andy spoke as he grabbed Pete’s hoodie, pulling him up with him as he stood. “You,” He said as he turned to point at her. “Go talk to Patrick. He won’t want to talk to Pete. And you,” He said as he yanked at Pete’s hoodie closer to him, forcing him to meet his hard stare as he spoke. “lay off him. You know he hates this interview crap.” She saw the rep tense his shoulders slightly at Andy’s words, and was glad that the camera had already been switched off for that remark. He let go of Pete’s hoodie, standing there expectantly. “Well?” They both took the hint and rushed out of the door into the hall.

  She wasn’t sure where Patrick would’ve headed to avoid Pete. Assuming he probably wouldn’t head back to their motel given they were sharing a room, she looked around the hotel lobby and the bathrooms on the first floor. After coming up empty she made her way outside, eventually spotting a familiar black and white capped figure sitting on a bench in the park across the road. She made her way over to him, taking a seat on the other end of the bench. He still had his cap pulled down low, but she could see under the brim that he had his eyes shut, clearly trying to calm down a bit. She poked him lightly in the arm and he turned to look at her, adjusting the brim slightly so that she could see his eyes properly.

“Hey, sorry about the interview.” She said, staring down at her shoes. “I probably shouldn’t have interrupted it in the first place, but Pete clearly felt like causing trouble.”

“Don’t be sorry; it’s Pete’s fault, not yours.” He answered simply. There was a moment of silence before she decided to get away from the awkward topic.

“I was coming over to tell you your Gretsch is finally ready to pick up. Just let me know when and I’ll go get it.”

“Oh, awesome!” He beamed. “I’ll go grab it now, we still have a while before we have to be back at the motel.” He stood up from the bench, waiting for her to join him before heading towards the park exit. They walked in silence for a few steps, but the words Patrick had said in the interview rattled around his head. “Look, I… I didn’t mean the things I said in there. I was just trying to get Pete off my back. Literally.” He bit down on his lip anxiously as he stared at the pavement beneath their feet. “Like I didn’t mean to say it was gross, or that you weren’t a hot girl-” He caught himself as the words slipped out of his mouth. “Not that I’m saying you are a hot girl, I just mean…” His eyes widened in panic, suddenly regretting saying anything at all.

“It’s all right, Pat.” She laughed. He looked at her for a moment before letting out the breath he didn’t realise he was holding.

[maiden-of-wolves]

Expectation

So, my Beyond Words fic (Zen/Hyun Ryu x Cassandra Whilmer {OC}) has one scene only in my head at the moment that I really wanted to draw but it isn’t coming out right so... I know I can write decently so I’m gonna write it out. It’ll probably be the last chapter in the fic, but I wanted to write it now because it’s practically taken over my head recently. xD This will be from Zen’s POV so I can hide the surprise until. the. last. possible. moment. (tm) ;3

For those that haven’t read the fic (I hope you do check it out [here!]) I put English dialogue in italics and leave Korean in regular typeface. If you want to follow along with the song that’s included, here’s the link to the YouTube page for it. Also, this is gonna be REALLY long ‘cause I don’t really write short fic... so.. yeah. Strap in if you click on the “Read More”/”Keep Reading” bit. xD And if you really do like this long drabble, reblog it so other people can enjoy it too! ^_^

It had been almost half a year since Zen been able to visit America -- visit Cassandra, more importantly -- but he was here again. It had been upsetting that she wasn’t able to meet him at the airport this time, but she sent one of her friends in her stead so that he wasn’t alone. He could have handled it just fine by now and he told her several times but she wasn’t having any of it. Zen had long since learned that fighting her on simple things was a complete waste of energy so he simply went along with it unless it was something he was intensely opposed to and that had only happened once because she couldn’t have known his squick.

The truth was that she knew him so well that he found himself asking her for advice about what would suit him best. In this case, she’d suggested and set up something that he was surprised she thought he could do: playing Evan Hansen in a play called “Dear Evan Hansen”. It was a Broadway production and a romance title to boot so he was thrilled for that part, but he still wasn’t confident in his English. Not to mention that the lead was unsure, shy... things that he’d intentionally worked to stop being when he went out into the world on his own. This project made him feel like he was connecting with his formative years in a way he hadn’t before, which was both exciting and terrifying.

Cassandra had encouraged him for months to apply, even managing to sneak a copy of the script for the scene for the audition to him in order to help him feel confident and finally he did. She then got a copy of the song for the scene for him, which he found out later wasn’t too hard since they first round’s cast had already recorded a CD. Even if she’d had a shitty day, all she wanted to do for months was help him practice for this. She encouraged him every step of the way and made him laugh when he felt like shit trying to properly pronounce things. There was never a day where she didn’t impress him and he was grateful she was so devoted to him.

As he sat in the car, waiting to arrive at the theater, he remembered his last big interview back home. It was a few months ago, but since it was for a fairly big entertainment TV show it stuck in his memory. He remembered one particular part vividly: the female interviewer had asked him point blank if he was in a relationship and he’d been quick to insist that he was.

“We both have full fledged careers.” He had told the interviewer. “She’s amazing and I love her, but because of that I won’t make her choose between me and her job. Or her home. And I know she wouldn’t do that to me, either.”

“Her home? You talk like she doesn’t live in Korea...”

“She doesn’t,” he’d answered, a fond smile at his lips but a sadness in his gaze. “It’s expensive and time-consuming to go see her, but that just makes us enjoy every minute that much more.”

The female interviewer had sighed wistfully and put a hand over her heart. “That’s so sweet~ You sound quite happy with it, even though you’re not able to see her often.”

Zen had nodded enthusiastically before replying verbally. “We talk every day. At the very least we text each other but we prefer to video chat whenever we can.”

“You’re so devoted! It must be hard, though, not being able to physically be together much...”

She was harping on the hardest part, but that wasn’t enough to dissuade him. Even though he knew it was expressly against normal etiquette when filming, Zen had found one of the main cameras with his gaze and stared into it, knowing Cassandra would see this at some point soon (if 707 hadn’t already patched her into the feed somehow). “One day, when we feel like our careers can be put aside, we’ll never have to worry about being apart again.”

He turned his attention back to the interviewer, a broad smile on his lips. “I enjoy my career a great deal, but those will be the days I will cherish each and every moment of.”

The realization that the car had stopped forced Zen’s attention back to the present. Though his memories reminded him of how Cassandra had gushed to him about that interview and he had a bit of a stupid grin on his face as her friend let him out of the car.

“You seem excited,” she commented in English, clearly teasing him about his current expression.

“Yeah,” he answered in kind, still grinning at her. He was always grateful that Cassandra liked teaching him English. It made his trips to come see her easier and easier each time. He even liked the slang, though he was still usually pretty confused by memes. “I’ll see Cassie while I’m here.”

Her smirk betrayed her as she attempted roll her eyes and huff, “you two’ll make me sick. All this puppy love nonsense...”

Zen just kept grinning at her for a moment before he spoke up again. “Which way inside?” he asked, the grin finally being taken over by a serious expression. This was currently still business, after all.

Cassandra’s friend led him to a side entrance of the older brick building and gestured that he follow the wall. He offered her a short wave of thanks before heading off. Cassandra said she’d be driving him from here, which made him think that she’d be in the audience. As he approached the rear stairs and made his way up them, he was surprised to not find her amongst the sparse attendees. Maybe she just wasn’t here yet? It wasn’t like her to be late, but then again this was a really dense city. He pushed the concern away, attributing it to traffic, and made his way over to what looked like a stage hand. It was a guy who was even a few inches taller than he was, head bent over a clipboard and muttering to himself.

“Hey, I’m... here for the audition?” Zen hated that he was still so nervous over his English, but did his best to camouflage it. He was the best actor, he worked hard and it showed. This would be no different.

“Oh!” the brunet all but gasped. He blinked and stared for a moment, as if surprised to find that Zen actually showed up. The reaction brought back the actor’s nerves in full force but he pushed the feeling down. “You’re that guy that Cassie said would be coming...Zen, was it?”

“Yeah,” was all that Zen could manage aside from a nod.

“Your audition should be coming up soon.” The stage hand eyed him a bit strangely after speaking, as if sizing him up or something. “You sure you’ve got the lines?”

Zen barely managed to not glare at him. What was this guy’s damage? Did he really think he’d be here if he didn’t? “Yeah. I’ve got them. If you know Cassandra you know she wouldn’t have put her rep out there if she didn’t think I could do well.”

The other man chuckled, which only further concerned Zen. “Well, just listen for the chime and walk out. Shouldn’t be more than a few minutes now.” 

As he was left to himself, his mind careened off the track that he’d done his best to keep it on. Did Cassandra not actually put in a good word? Why would she have suggested this if she didn’t have some kind of pull? The guy said he knew about him as well as Cassie so... why didn’t he think he was good? Had he never seen any of his performances? Did Cassandra not actually talk about him to her friends? Zen knew he talked about Cassie almost as much as he did himself with the RFA and had ever since he had to go back home after the first filming she’d helped him with.

A soft chime brought him back to the present and he took in a deep breath to collect himself. A quick glance out to the audience still showed him that Cassandra wasn’t there, which was really starting to depress him. Did she really not come-- his thoughts were interrupted as he started walking out on stage and recognized the woman walking towards him from the opposite side.

He would never in his life forget that perfectly flipped bob of raven hair or her sea green eyes. She was dressed very casually, in a simple blue T-shirt, stone washed jeans and sneakers. “C-Cassie?” Zen asked, both pleased to see her and shocked that she would be his partner for the audition. He realized in the back of his mind that he was a bit over-dressed with his tailored jacket and slacks, but this was supposed to be business.

She smiled at him, never missing a beat as she walked within a meter of him. “What? Did you think I was only helping you practice? I wanted to try this whole thing too.” When he just stood there for apparently a few moments too long, she reached up and playfully tapped his cheek. “You are blushing, you know~”

That pulled him back to functioning and he grasped her hand lightly before she could pull it away again. He pressed a quick kiss to her palm and looked to her under hooded lashes. “Thank you, babe.” The least he could do was play along, if it was actually true then he’d love it. If this was just a joke to help him do better, he was grateful for that, too. “I hope you get this part too, then... I’d be able to give my best performance ever playing opposite you.”

It was her turn to blush at that, which had Zen’s lips parting in a rather wolfish smile. Oh, he would get her back for this little prank tonight. He wanted to quietly tell her just how he planned to, but the music suddenly started up. For the moment he had to push the beast back down.

She carefully pulled her hand out of his grip. “I believe the first few stanzas are mine?” Cassandra asked, though it was clearly more of a reminder and rhetorical question than an actual inquiry.

Zen nodded. Cassandra wasn’t a great singer by any means, at least not the last time he heard her sing, but it has always been soothing to him regardless. For the moment, he had to get into character. He took another slow breath in and let it out just as deliberately. He was to be Evan Hansen; shy kid, insecure about anyone ever loving him. It made him think about himself, about Hyun, about his parents telling him he wasn’t ever going to succeed at what he wanted to do... it was him, in a way. That part was still there, no matter how flamboyant Zen became.

                     “I don’t need you to sell me on reasons to want you”

He was supposed to keep in character, but his eyes widened as he listened and a small flush painted his cheeks. She really had been practicing. She was on key and had good pacing. Thankfully he had his head down as per the cues he’d read in the script so he had some time to gather himself.

                    “I don’t need you to search for the proof that I should”

Cassandra had put so much effort into this, he was honestly wondering if she hadn’t gone for intense singing lessons while he was away. It made his heart thud heavily against his ribs. If this was all to just help him, he owed her even more than he already did. His precious babe was amazing.

                                “You don’t have to convince me                       You don’t have to be scared you’re not enough”

How many times had he thought that? Zen’s mind pulled him away from the act for a moment. He’d asked her several times during their months apart if she didn’t want to just go date someone else closer by. That it’d be better if she could get all the physical love she deserved. The second time she’d asked if he wanted to date someone else because it seemed like he was hinting that by continuing to ask. Zen had been quick to say there was no point. That he couldn’t make the time because of his work. She affirmed it was the same with her but that, as a proof of concept, they both were making time for each other regardless of their jobs and schedules. The relationship was difficult, but they were both willing to put the work in and that was what mattered.

                                   “‘cause what we’ve got going”

Cassandra’s touch drew him out of his thoughts, a gentle set of fingertips touched his chin and he happily followed their push upwards. 

                                                    “is good”

Zen smiled at her naturally, though they both knew it was also a cue for the scene. He searched her eyes and found the love he was so used to seeing and craved when she was away but there was something else, too. She reached out and grasped his hands, carefully holding them. His gaze shifted to them, surprised when she lightly caressed them with her thumbs like she normally would even though it wasn’t technically part of the cues.

                  “I don’t need more reminders of all that’s been broken                          I don’t need you to fix what I’d rather forget” The longer the song went on, he could only draw parallels. He and Cassandra had shared so many secrets about themselves, about their lives and their shortcomings and every one they’d accepted or helped the other change. As testament to all that he hadn’t smoked at all since he’d been away from her this time. Every day clean his lungs felt stronger and he felt energized more than he had before. Cassandra was, in so many ways, the best thing that had ever happened to him.                                       “Clear the slate and start over                                 Try to quiet the noises in your head”

Had they not been auditioning, he would have laughed. Of the two of them, he’d always thought that she was far more busy in the head than he ever was. But this was the role: Evan was always in his head so Zen simply gave her a sheepish smile as if he’d been the one called out.

                                    “We can’t compete with all that”

She pulled away from him and for a brief moment he instinctively reached out for her but remembered that it was part of the cues and simply watched as she hurried over to the chairs in the middle of the stage. It was supposed to be a double bed, according to the script, but apparently they hadn’t had one to work with yet.

                                               “So what if it’s us?                                                   What if it’s us                                                   and only us”

Zen began to break character as he watched her, expecting her to sit in the chair as the cues would probably dictate. She would have been directed to sit on the bed facing him. Instead, she was still standing. The more he looked, he even realized that she was shaking slightly. Was she just nervous because she was performing? He couldn’t ever recall her being so nervous that she shook, though...but she was still singing without breaking her voice.                  “and what came before won’t count anymore or matter?                                                Can we try that?”

Cassandra hesitated for a moment and Zen noticed her throat tightening as she swallowed. What in the world had her so nervous?

                                             “What if it’s you                                            and what if it’s me”

She reached behind her and pulled something out of her pocket. That isn’t part of the cues... he noted inwardly, his heart suddenly surging to overdrive in his chest as he tried to figure out what she now held so carefully in her palms.                         “and what if that’s all that we need it to be?”

He didn’t have to wonder long, since she knelt on one knee and held out the box for him in her hands. Zen’s eyes widened to the point that he began tearing up just from the fact that he was unable to blink and his face as well as the tips of his ears began flushing pink. What... is she doing...? There’s no way... his mind couldn’t even comprehend that this was happening.

                              “And the rest of the world falls away?”

She opened the box and there it was: a simple silver ring. Zen swore that his heart skipped several beats and everything but he and Cassandra disappeared just as the lyrics had suggested. This was above and beyond anything he thought would happen to him. She loved him so much that she would set all this up for him, practice until she was able to be on stage with him as an equal, if only for a few minutes, and propose? For a moment he felt intensely guilty that he hadn’t been the one to do this-- wasn’t he the man in this relationship? The one that was “sickeningly romantic” as Cassandra had put it several times?

                                            “What do you say?”

The entire theater went quiet, though Zen barely noticed through the pulse pounding in his ears. This had clearly all been a set up for this moment, but he didn’t care. All he could think about was the fact that he was being proposed to by the love of his life. Ideas for “sickeningly romantic” revenge proposals already drifted in to the back of his mind but he couldn’t focus on them now. “Babe...” he gasped. “Oh my god, babe...” He couldn’t actually say yes or no, even though he knew the answer the moment he was certain he knew what she was doing.

Cassandra didn’t say anything, but she looked absolutely terrified and was already sweating. The stage lights were hot, but she’d hardly been up there long enough to justify that kind of response to them just yet.

Zen didn’t want to keep her waiting and he knew how best to answer her. He gestured to the side stage, where he’d seen some of the audio equipment. “What’re you waiting for?” he asked, his tone bordering on playful teasing as a tiny smile flickered at the corners of his mouth. “Continue the song.”

Within moments the music began again, but as Zen looked back to Cassandra she still looked worried and now rather confused. That would all be cleared up soon enough. He closed the gap between them as he sang out his response.

        “I never thought there’d be someone like you who would want me”

She all but gasped out her “well?” line in response as the scene dictated, voice shaking.

              “So I’ll give you ten thousand reasons not to let me go”

He was in front of her now, leaning down a little so he could reach out for her face.

                                 “But if you really see me”

Zen gently cupped her cheek and she leaned into it as she closed her eyes. He felt awful for a moment as he swore she shed a tear. He would have to kiss those away soon. And every inch of her skin...but that was later. Now, he still had to perform. And perform he would.

                          “If you like me for me and nothing else”

Cassandra opened her eyes, silently begging him for the acceptance that he already knew he was about to give her. He quickly moved his left hand to the box, gently touching the ring.

                                  “That’s all that I’ve wanted”

Zen slipped his ring finger into the offered band and pulled his hand away to show her with his most dazzling smile.

                         “for longer than you could possibly know”

Cassandra dropped the box and all but shot into his chest, clearly continuing to ignore any kind of cue that they would have had, and wrapped her arms tightly about his neck. Zen continued to sing regardless, but happily returned her embrace.

                                           “So it can be us                                               it can be us                                               and only us             and what came before won’t count anymore or matter.                                           We can try that.”

He pulled away before she was supposed to sing with him, but his hands were still on her shoulders. She put her hands on his arms, grinning like an idiot with tears making her sea green orbs shimmer. At least now he knew they were from happiness... not that he wouldn’t kiss them away soon anyway.

                                       “It’s not so impossible”

Zen moved his hands to gently grasp her cheeks as he sang his line to her with a gaze so intense that it would have made anyone else step away. He made a mental note to serenade her more, watching her blush manifest as he sang.

                           “Nobody else but the two of us here”

As they moved to sing together again Zen really did feel like they were the only two people in the universe even though the music was still playing and they both knew they weren’t.

                           “ ‘cause you’re saying it’s possible”

She watched him with nothing but adoration as she took up her own line.

                “We can just watch the whole world disappear”

Their hands moved to intertwine as they continued, following the song and continuing to get lost in themselves.

                                    “ ‘Til you’re the only one                                       I still know how to see”

Zen squeezed her hands as he sang to her, matching her passion as best he could but still lowering his volume as the cues would have demanded.

                                        “It’s just you and me”

She smiled at him as she followed his lead with her response lines.

                                        “It’ll be us, it’ll be us                                               and only us                      and what came before won’t count anymore”

Though she came in with her lines quietly, they didn’t stay that way and Cassandra surprised him with passion and intensity that she could put into her voice without breaking. She really had to have practiced even harder than he did... and he had no idea when she’d even had the time to do so. He was thrilled to sing with her again.

                                           “We can try that                                               You and me                               That’s all that we need it to be                           and the rest of the world falls away                           and the rest of the world falls away”

Zen had carefully stepped closer as they sang, eyes never leaving hers, to the point that they were touching foreheads as they neared the end of the song. Had it been an actual performance, he would have been worried that they couldn’t sing loud enough for the crowd to hear but as it was he couldn’t have cared less. Cassandra could hear him, and that was more than enough.

                                      “The world falls away                                        the world falls away                                          and it’s only us...”

They barely finished the last note when Zen leaned forward and latched on to Cassandra’s lips, his right hand divesting itself of her hand to grasp at the back of her neck. He heard cheers and applause, but he was far more interested in the woman who had just so boldly proposed to him. “Babe...” he panted when they finally parted. “You are... amazing.”

Cassandra seemed like she was going to reply but he quickly cut her off with another scorching kiss. He pulled away with a playful nip at her lower lip. “You’d better let me have my fun tonight, babe~”

“You realize you already accepted the proposal, right?” Cassandra teased him, pulling up a hand to brush some longer snow-white strands behind his ear where they belonged. “Too late to put in terms.”

He just shook his head. “Let me phrase it another way, then,” he mused, leaning forward to finish his thought next to her ear. “Once we get to the place you’re staying right now, you’re not leaving for days. And I wouldn’t recommend trying to walk much for at least a day more... so you’ll just have to let me take care of you even longer~”

Despite shivering at both the heated breaths and the promises contained in his words, Cassandra stood her ground. “As long as you let me have my fun when you return the favor.”

Zen pulled away, faking a look of shock. “Just what would I need to propose to you for? You’ve already done all this work... I would never dream of upstaging you!”

She chuckled. “Oh, I already see it in your eyes, Hyun. I can only imagine the elaborate sappy nonsense you are planning...” As if to emphasize the point, she shook her head slightly and rolled her eyes.

“My lady protests a bit too much,” Zen murmured. “You love it. And me.”

Cassandra smiled at him. “I do love you. Very, very much.”

“Then I suppose you’ll have no problem,” he began, reluctantly releasing his grip on her so he could grasp her hand and bring its back to his lips for a princely kiss. “Letting me off the chain tonight...”

“I will look forward to taming you again later,” she replied, her smile twisting slightly into a smirk.

“Get a room!” someone jeered. A chorus of laughter erupted from that and Cassandra even joined them.

“Come on,” she insisted, using their intertwined hands to lead him off the stage. “Let us go to my room so you can fully appreciate your fianceé~”

[justherefortaylorswift]

there’s glitter on the floor after the party...

Taylor,

*About 9 days ago, on May 22nd, 2018, I had just arrived home from your Seattle show at CenturyLink Field. It was 4am and I couldn’t sleep. I had so much on my mind and was still on a high from your show. So, in the early hours of the morning, after my friends had long gone to bed, I began to write. I’ve revised my original note quite a bit since then. I’ve also had the opportunity to do some additional reflecting since tour, and I have some thoughts. So, I guess this is the end-result of a mash-up of 4AM overly-emotional rambling, combined with well thought-out, fully coherent, mature writing. I feel like I really over-explained this. I could have been a lot less-awkward in setting this up. Let's just get into it:

[SO. I just got home from your Seattle show. It's 4 am and I can't sleep. This was my 6th tour, and I made what seems like an infinite amount of unforgettable memories with a group of incredible people I call my ‘Swiftie Fam” (the name needs work...). There's Cecil (my long-time, Canadian Swiftie friend, you’ll see him in earlier posts), Wanda (Cecil’s wife), Kaeden (7. Cecil & Wanda’s son. Major Swiftie. His first concert!), and finally the beautiful Maile (a recent addition to the fam, and now a life-long friend!).  It’s hard to explain in words, but we all have developed a connection that’s special and unique because of what we experienced together. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to stand by my side tonight. We danced, laughed, and cried together… I don’t think I’ve ever felt more understood. These people ‘get’ me.

Not surprisingly, I screamed every single lyric at the top of my lungs and subsequently lost my voice almost IMMEDATIELY. With that in mind, I suppose a more accurate description would be: I wasn’t so much singing, as I was gasping for the remainder of the show. I literally danced with until I was out of breath. I cried (ok, SOBBED) all of my make-up off (a Long Live/NYD mash-up… are you kidding me?! I FEEL ATTACKED). 

By the end of the night, I resembled a pathetic, overly-emotional, glittery, drowned rat.

and I was living my absolute best life.

Also, I was REALLY proud of our outfits this time around! I think we did a decent job of recreating your Direct TV commercial, with my rainbow two-piece, and Cecil’s interpretation of Olivia Benson dressed as a Caticorn (I can’t say I ever thought I’d use that in a sentence). It consisted of around 8-10 hours total of gluing, painting, and hand-sewing, leading up to the show. Everything turned out awesome, way better than expected. Totally worth the man hours! Wanda hand-made matching these adorable matching t-shirts for her and little Kaden (Big Rep & Little Rep), and Maile constructed a beautiful MASTERPIECE from the mountain LYWMMD outfit- it was freakin’ incredible and HOT!

There was something a bit different about this tour for a couple of reasons:

[The production.] I don’t think I’ve experienced such sensory-overload in my LIFE. The whole time it was like a constant stream of frantic, internal dialogue with a lot of run-on sentences, like, “WHAT IS HAPPENING SHE’S GIVING US CHOREO OMG YAAASSS WERK HONEY IF A MAN TALKS SHIT WE DON'T OWE HIM A DAMN THING OH MY GOD ITS RAINING CONFETTI I MUST COLLECT IT I HOPE THESE MULTI-COLORED FLASHING LIGHTS DON’T GIVE ME AN EPILEPTIC ATTACK WHERE THE F-CK DID THESE GIGANTIC SNAKES COME FROM THERE ARE LITERALLY STAGES EVERYWHERE I’M OVERWHELMED OH SHIT SHES PULLING A SPEAK NOW BY WALKING THROUGH THE CROWD WHAT'S GOING ON OH GOD F-CKING FIREWORKS THESE VOCALS ARE LIT THO I'M SWEATING I’M DEFINITELY GONNA NEED THERAPY AFTER THIS NEW YEARS DAY/LONG LIVE MASH UP IS THAT A FOUNTAIN WHATS HAPPENING OH GOD IT’S REAL WATER AND SHE’S IN THE FOUNTAIN I’M HAVING A 2008 SHOULD’VE SAID NO ACM AWARDS FLASHBACK MOMENT HOLY SH-T MORE F-CKING FIREWORKS SO MUCH PYRO IS THIS EVEN LEGAL” I’ve gotta say, you have BEST band (Paul, Amos and Mike..OGS), vocalists (Eliott and Kamilah…the TALENT), and all the dancers. Every single person on that stage was on FIRE, and their talent, passion, and individual personalities made the night sparkle.

[The fans.] I freaking adore this fan culture. I’ve never met a Swiftie who wasn’t ridiculously friendly, welcoming, and super relatable. The vibe was so positive. I’ve never smiled, waved and taken pictures with so many random strangers in my life. It felt as if we were literally in a different world that day. It felt like home.

[YOU!.]  We need to talk about this major GLO UP you’ve got going on, honey. You exude SO much confidence and you're just pure sunshine. When I think about the way you’ve carried yourself these past couple of years through all of the BS drama, I can’t help but feel damn proud. You’ve successfully converted pain into art, into music. Real music, that’s poignant, raw, and just BAD ASS. Your lyrics continue to foster a special connection you maintain with the audience...a connection that often times breathes life into brokenness.

I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world tonight. 

This may have been my best concert experience ever, which is actually pretty ironic because:

Unlike Red, I wasn’t in the Pit

I didn’t have VIP seating, like 1989

You weren’t close enough for any potential high fives, waves, or eye contact like I experienced at Speak Now at B-Stage

We were not chosen for Rep Room (or T-Party, Club Red, or Loft 89)

…But, it was OK. It was way more than OK. It was truly a dream.

Listen: Something I've always deeply admired about you is that you make it a priority to maintain a personal relationship with the fans.  It’s clear you want to meet as many of us as possible, and you make a conscious effort to do so. You get to know us as individuals and you CARE, and that means everything us and makes such an impact. I mean, you invite us into your HOME for crying out loud, you walk through massive crowds and give high-fives, you lurk our Instagrams and Tumblrs and interact on social media, and you always make a notable effort to meet as many of us as possible at tour.

However, this can sometimes turn into a bit of a "Catch 22" situation for people. The downside, is that it’s honestly SUPER easy to fall into the “trap” of being consumed with the possibility of meeting you after your shows. Due to the fact that the “selection” process is both intentional, yet also random. To be transparent, it's quite difficult to not obsess with the idea of ‘trying’ to get chosen. I witness this behavior so often, in others and in myself just as much, if not more. Selfishly, I often feel not only jealous, but UPSET when I see photos/read experiences of other fans meeting you. I sometimes feel like the only one who hasn’t yet gotten the opportunity.  It can quickly turn into a mind-game if you're not careful, which has the potential to become toxic if we allow the idea of meeting you to rule supreme over what it's actually about...which is the MUSIC. And, this amazing show you put on for us night after night. And somewhat understandably so, I've witnessed the obsession with being chosen to meet you become a main focus point for a lot of us (including myself a bit!). It's pretty stressful, and can easily dampen or cheapen the concert experience, if you're not careful. As dramatic as this probably sounds, Tumblr (and social media) can be brutal within this fandom, and dare I say ‘cut-throat’ at times. It's easy to get upset watching (what seems like) literally EVERYONE get that opportunity, except you. 

That said, I had a wake-up call/mini-epiphany recently, which manifested while driving home from your show at Midnight on May 22nd with my friends, feeling so amazing and so grateful for what I just experienced…but also a little guilty because I feel like I’ve spent way too much time worrying about the possibility of meeting at you when you come to Seattle, how to get the attention of Taylor Nation, where to find Mama Swift, getting that guitar pick from Papa Swift, and this time was no different. Granted, my intentions are 100% pure and it’s only because you’ve meant so freakin much to me for so many years, and it's almost as if my life won’t be complete until I finally get to tell you in person. That said, there is certainty a valuable lesson to be learned here. I am confident that you and I will come face-to-face one day (hopefully with my Swifie fam!). The stars will align at the exactly the right time, and I will have my moment with you, and it will be SO worth the wait. You can't "force" stuff like this, you know? The privilege of meeting you is almost ‘sacred’ in a sense. At least in my opinion. Anyway, my point is: I refuse to a continue to attempt to “create fate” by attempting to "earn" my worthiness in fandom. It’s not productive, it's not healthy, and it’s not cute.

Alright, this is getting out of hand. I need to wrap this up. 🤣 I’m not sure whether or not you’ve seen any of my throwback photo-posts I posted the week leading up to the show. They definitely explain a lot more about me, and my history being a fan. Either way, I must reiterate how grateful I am to have you in my life, and that support you 100% and will always be here. The amount of hope, joy and comfort you've given me over the past 10+ years is insurmountable, and I'll never be able to repay you for that. And I mean that in the most sincere way. Not a lot of things make me as happy as you make me (especially lately). This experience was the ‘boost’ I needed, I think. And like I said, the relationship I have with my friends/Swiftie Fam is invaluable, and I look forward to making memories with them at your shows in the future. You’ve brought the most random group of people together and created a bond that’s unique, unconditional and unbreakable, and I think that’s so cool.

This was A LOT longer than I originally intended it to be. This escalated quickly. Haha. Thanks for listening. 💗

Don’t read the last page…]

Love you, T

Crystal

@taylorswift

@taylornation

@ceunit

@maileswiftie

[photos]:  1) The whole crew: Cecil, Wanda, Kaeden, Maile and myself at our seats. 2) Kaeden the night before the show. SO EXCITED!! 3) Testing out the Caticorn onesie w/ Cecil 4) Cecil and myself FULLY DECKED and ready to go. 5) Wanda and Kaeden: Big Rep & Lil’ Rep! 6) the girls! Maile, Wanda and Me pre-show 7) Us at the end of the show! And yes, that’s me in the middle..in disbelief, exhausted, sweaty, and a physical and emotional wreck (see also: ‘drowned rat’ description above). 8) All of us after the show literally in a hotel lobby (and glitter on the floor after the party!), waiting for traffic to die down before we headed home.

[dust2dust34]

Pieces of Always: April 2033 (FICoN ‘verse)

Life continues after Forever is Composed of Nows.

by @so-caffeinated (and @dust2dust34)

Summary: Will gains a little perspective on some of the more complicated aspects of his life from his friend and coworker.

An ongoing non-linear collection of family moments for the Queens. (You do not need to have read FiCoN to enjoy this, but it will spoil the end. Please see the first installment for additional author notes. Thank you @jsevick and @alizziebyanyothername!)

A/N: Please see the first chapter for an important Author’s Note. The effervescent @so-caffeinated is fully in the driver’s seat and she’s kicking all the ass, so please go send her your love!  Also? As far as this chapter goes... say hello to Alex. At times, though rarely in this chapter, Alex speaks a bit of Spanish. You'll find translations in the end notes. Thank you to @latinasmoak and @alizziebyanyothername for their continual help with Spanish.

A/N: Janis and I have started a Redbubble account for FICoN! The first thing we have up is our Ellie the Elephant tattoo that we got a few months ago - check it out here! (Her awesome husband helped to make it more Redbubble-friendly.) More will be coming soon! If you have any ideas for something you’d like to see, let us know!

(read on AO3)

April 2033

The bond between the guys on Will’s crew is absolute. There is nothing the four of them would not do for each other. It goes hand-in-hand with the job. Will knows that, but it still feels special to him, unique. Any one of them would jump in front of danger for the other, any one of them would die for the other, if needed. Their kinship isn’t brotherhood, exactly, but in some ways it’s something more.

Still… that doesn’t mean Will doesn’t want to strangle two of them right now.

“Oh my hero.”

The singsong voice is designed to grate on Will’s nerves and wow is that working. “Stop.”

“So big and strong, let me cling to your arm with the lights out, my what an impressive bicep you have.”

“I swear to god, Javi…”

“All part of the job, ma’am, now let’s stand here and stare at each other longingly like a cheesy ass chick flick for the next five minutes.”

“Elliot…”

“But how will I ever repay my big strong hero for saving me from the non-existent fire?”

“I bet the next round that Will’s got a few ideas on that,” Elliot smirks, leaning back in the booth and raising both eyebrows as he takes a huge swig from his mug of beer.

Will wants to brush him off, wants to punch him in the shoulder and call him a tool and demand he grab another pitcher. But it hadn’t been just any girl and the way Amelia’s eyes had widened in surprise, the way her gaze and her hand had lingered on him… it’s thrown him for a loop and he doesn’t have it in him to shrug off the guys’ teasing right now.

But it’s Javi who’s the last straw. He turns away from them and wraps his arms around his own head making mocking kissing noises. Elliot laughs like it’s the funniest thing ever. And… yup, that does it. Will shoves Elliot’s shoulder hard before sliding out of the booth.

“I’m getting another pitcher. I might share if you two grow the fuck up before I get back,” he tells them, trying to sound unruffled. His voice sounds a little thick even to his ears, though, and he knows he’s mostly failed. But that’s only underscored by Alex slapping Javi upside the back of his head.

“No sean pendejos,” Alex tells the other two. The most senior member of their team sounds very much in charge and both Javi and Elliot immediately look like they’ve been put in their place. Alex has a way of doing that.  “Know when to fucking knock it off.”

Will pauses just a moment, tossing a grateful look toward Alex before heading over to the bar. Suitably chastised or not, he needs a bit of distance from Javi and Elliot right now. They’re good friends, great teammates and they’d even been decent - if messy - roommates for a while before he’d gotten his own place, but neither Javi nor Elliot knows when to let things go, when to grow the hell up. Will does. He learned that lesson the hard way, for the most part. And that’s something that’s led to him relating more to Alex than their other teammates in recent years.

Today can’t have been easy for Alex either, Will knows. Mostly, that’s for different reasons… but all the same, he can’t imagine the other man is much in a joking mood right now.

“Can we get a pitcher of the seasonal IPA on tap, please?” Will orders when the bartender walks by. She’s quite familiar with their group by now - more than a little familiar with Javi, actually, but that was a year ago - and she tosses back a “Sure thing, babe, coming right up,” with a wink before turning away.

The bar isn’t crowded tonight, but Five Alarm’s got a rep for spicy food, a solid rotating tap and a regular hangout for firefighters so there are still a couple dozen people hanging around. A few college girls down near the end of the bar are overtly staring at him and while Will might happily welcome the attention another day, he’s really not in the mood at the moment and he offers up little more than a polite nod of recognition before turning away.

“You off your game, vato?”

Will doesn’t even have to look to know it’s Alex who’s joined him at the bar. He has presence, fills a space effortlessly with his tall, bulky form. And Will had known the older man would come the moment he’d stepped away. Alex takes his role as team leader very seriously whether they’re on or off the clock.

“Not playing a game at all,” Will answers. “Not today, anyhow.”

Alex just hums in agreement and it’s the near silence that finally pulls Will’s attention to his friend. He’s leaning against the bartop on his forearms, looking past Will to grin at the girls down the bar. It’s flirtier than Will had been, for sure, but no more serious. Alex has a girl and he’s not that kind of guy.

“It’s not like you,” Alex says after a minute, catching Will’s gaze with a heavy look. “Your girl’s got you in knots.”

“She’s not my girl,” Will answers immediately. And, wow if that’s not the crux of it. The way his voice cracks under the strain of emotion only serves to emphasize his words.

Amelia is not his girl. She’s his… she’s his something though. She’s his ‘what if,’ his ‘someday,’ his ‘if only.’ The connection between them defies reason, but every time he sees her it grows exponentially and feels more and more well-founded.

Every day is different in his line of work. Normally that’s something Will loves about being a firefighter. He never knows exactly what the job will entail on any given day. But today… today had thrown him for a loop.

Being called to City Hall for what turned out to be a false alarm - lightning had struck the generator and several people had smelled smoke - had given things an uneasy start. His grandmother, who has been mayor for most of his life, had foolishly chosen not to evacuate, valuing her phone call over safety protocol.

Watching Alex read her the riot act had given Will more joy than he should probably admit, but it had also set him on edge. Because Alex was right. Because the mayor refusing to evacuate set a terrible example for her staff and knowingly endangered everyone in the building as well as any emergency response personnel showing up at the scene.

So he’d already been in a weird place when he’d barely caught the sound of someone singing to themselves and been drawn off path as he and the boys had been heading to talk to the site manager.

“Our boy’s got a siren pulling him in,” Javi had laughed, much to Elliot’s amusement, but Will hadn’t listened to them at the time.

He’d known who it was. There hadn’t been a doubt in his mind.

And he’d been right.

He’d found Amelia in a barely open storage room with earbuds in as she rifled through files and the very sight of her had taken his breath away. He hadn’t even registered the snickers of his coworkers at the time. That’d come later - they’ve been persistent - but in that moment he’d seen nothing but Amelia, heard nothing but Amelia. He’d taken off his helmet and leaned against the doorframe, just watching her silently until she she’d caught sight of him out of the corner of her eye and jolted, pulling the earbuds from her ears.

Her eyes had barely flickered toward his friends before honing in on him, cementing that ever-present connection between them. It hadn’t taken more than a look, nothing more than her eyes lingering on his to make his heart flip and his breath catch.

Maybe he shouldn’t feel this strongly about her, maybe it defies reason, but he can’t help it and every time he sees her, he finds something else that draws him in. And he can’t let go of her, not entirely.

“Fine, that girl that isn’t yours has got you in knots then,” Alex amends, pulling Will back to the present. “You got history or what?”

It’s a harder question to answer than it should be. “Not exactly,” he answers after thinking about it for a moment.

“Ah,” Alex says. He clearly gets it and Will is beyond grateful that he doesn’t need to explain further. “Sorry, man. Sometimes that’s worse.”

“Yeah,” Will agrees with a heavy sigh as he rakes a hand through his hair. “It is.”

“Maybe she’ll change her mind,” Alex offers, clapping Will on the shoulder. “She sure as hell didn’t look disinterested today.”

It’s true. She’d been all false starts and stilted gestures, instinct drawing her closer to him, but resolve making her pull back. The push and pull of it all had felt tidal, left him drowning in a riptide of emotions. Truth be told, he’s fairly certain she didn’t fare much better. That she hadn’t even heard the fire alarm because of faulty, outdated equipment and her music had sparked something in Will. The knowledge that had this been real - had there actually been a fire - he might’ve seen her again under far more dire circumstances had set him on edge, made him more protective, heightened absolutely everything, and she’d picked up on that immediately.

He can still hear her voice swearing to him softly that she’d have evacuated if she’d known, that she wouldn’t have knowingly put herself in danger. And a moment later… a moment later when lightning had struck again nearby and the power had died, taking the lights out with it, she’d yelped and grabbed his arm in a momentary blind panic. Without even thinking about it, he’d pulled her closer. And, with the lights out and his buddies fishing for flashlights, he’d held Amelia protectively in his arms and everything, everything had been right.

But the lights had come on and with that his dreams had faded away. She’d stepped back, seemingly embarrassed and chastising herself as she brushed her hair behind her ear and avoided his gaze.

For a moment.

Resolve aside, nothing seems to keep them from connection for long and her eyes had found his again soon enough.

But he knows Amelia, knows her better than she thinks, and he’s well aware that today won’t have changed anything between them in the long run. It’s just another of their series of near misses. And, as much as he would give almost anything for it to be more, Amelia’s going to keep her distance.

“Maybe,” he agrees anyhow, wanting to get off the subject with Alex.

“Javi and Elliot are gonna shut their traps about it either way,” Alex vows, drawing Will’s surprised gaze. “The boys don’t know when to quit ‘til I knock their heads together a few times. They’re set straight now, but I can’t promise Elliot isn’t gonna bring up how hot she is.”

“I can’t promise I’m not gonna sock him, then,” Will grumbles.

“Come on, vato,” Alex says with a tisk. “Girl’s got legs for miles and a rack straight off a swimsuit calendar. Can’t blame any of us for noticing that.”

Well, that’s irksome. Elliot’s one thing. The guy’s his brother and he’s got a good heart, but he’s also forever making lewd comments about women. Alex is another thing entirely. With three years on Will, Alex is the oldest member of their team and the most experienced.

He’s also the most professional. Even over drinks, Will’s a little surprised to hear him talking about any woman’s body so openly, especially if it isn’t with a wink and a grin and definitely referencing his girlfriend.

“Marisol’s gonna love that,” Will bites out, feeling more than a little bitter at Alex’s observation.

“Not much of her business what I notice these days,” Alex replies tightly, nodding at the bartender as she drops off their pitcher.

“You broke up?” Will asks surprised.

“Yeah. Again,” Alex replies grimly. “Ain’t everybody who’s cut out to be a firefighter’s girl, you know? Mari likes the idea of it, but reality is something else.”

It’s true. The schedule alone is a burden to their loved ones - 24-hour shifts are a bitch - but the constant danger wears away on them, too. Some people are built for that. Others aren’t. It’s one of the reasons Will tells himself he keeps to more casual relationships. That’s easier to deal with than the thought that he’s so hung up on the very idea of Amelia that it’s affecting his life.

“Sorry, man,” Will tells him as the bartender puts a pair of mugs down in front of them and Alex moves to pour them both some beer. Elliot and Javi are chatting up a pair of girls over near the pool table, so it looks like they’ve lost their booth. That’s fine. Will finds he’s feeling a bit restless anyhow.

“It’s life,” Alex shrugs, trying to look unaffected. Will doesn’t buy it for a second. He and Marisol had been back together since early last fall and she’d all but moved into Alex’s place. But he’s also not about to say anything like that. “You got plans tomorrow?”

The change of subject is swift and deliberate.

“I’ve got Bethy for the day,” Will tells him. Just the idea of his baby sister perks him up some. She makes everything brighter. “Not sure what we’re gonna do yet, but David’s working so I said I’d take her. Better me than some babysitter, right?”

“You should bring her over,” Alex tells him. “Javi and his brothers were gonna come over for the game. Elliot said he might join, too, and I think Javi’s got some nieces and nephews comin’. We can do a barbeque, toss the kids in the pool and let ‘em play. Beth would have fun.”

Bethy’s not-quite-three now and she loves the water. She’s a miserable swimmer, but she gets so much joy out of Will tossing her up in the air and splashing about.

“Yeah, maybe,” Will agrees. “What time?”

“Game’s at eleven,” Alex says, taking a swig of his beer. “Anytime’s fine, though. Nothing else I’m doing tomorrow other than handing Mari a box of her stuff whenever she drops by.”

Ah… So then that’s what’s going on. Invitations to Alex’s place aren’t uncommon, but Javi dragging along his entire extended family definitely is. And Elliot hates soccer, which is absolutely what game Alex is referring to. But both of the guys had to have known about Alex and Marisol’s split before him and planned to be there as silent backup.

“We’ll be there after her morning nap… assuming she takes one,” Will promises. “Want me to bring anything?”

“Whatever Beth’s gonna eat,” Alex tells him. “I’m not sure she’ll eat anything in my kitchen.”

She won’t. He’s right about that. Beth’s a picky little eater.

But while Will is busy mulling over what to bring along to Alex’s place tomorrow for Bethy, he’s also suddenly aware that his friend is watching him with a strange, contemplative look on his face.

“What?” Will asks warily.

“Nothing,” Alex says, shaking it off and taking another sip of his beer.

“No, really, what?” Will asks again after a minute. Alex isn’t the sort to leave things unsaid and the idea that he’s biting his tongue now sits poorly with Will.

“Man, I don’t think you wanna know,” Alex tells him ruefully. It has the opposite of his intended effect. Will sits up straighter, every bit of his attention turning toward Alex.

“Tell me anyhow,” Will challenges.

Alex still hesitates, winces and licks his lips, looking off to the side before speaking in a lowered voice. “Your girl…” he starts, his voice trailing off at the end.

“Amelia?” Will asks, suddenly on the defensive.

“Yeah,” Alex agrees with a heavy nod and piercing dark eyes. “Amelia…. She’s hot and all, man, but I don’t get it.” Will blinks quickly at him in stunned surprise as Alex continues. “I don’t have to, I know. It’s none of my business. But all the hot girls in this city and you get hung up on some cold, cut-throat politician?”

“She’s not!” Will insists before realizing he’s a little too loud. The girls at the end of the bar are paying far too close attention. “She’s not,” he repeats in a much quieter voice.

“If you say so,” Alex agrees, but he clearly doesn’t believe the words.

“She’s driven and passionate, but she’s not cut-throat. You don’t know her,” Will insists. And it’s true. Alex had been around her for all of ten minutes. He’s judging her largely by her association with Moira. And, while he surely has his own reasons for that, there’s so much more to Amelia than just her relationship with her mentor.

“Okay,” Alex says, holding up one hand in surrender. But Will isn’t ready to let it go.

“Amelia is… she’s someone who knows exactly what she wants in life and she’s not willing to settle for anything else,” Will informs him. “She wants to make a difference in the world. She’s not after power or money or anything like that.”

She’s not like my grandmother, he wants to insist. He knows that’s what Alex meant, even if he left the words unspoken.

“She’s smarter than anyone gives her credit for, but she knows how to use that to her advantage and she does it to push political agendas that help people,” Will tells him. “She’s a loyal enough friend that she put off graduating college by a semester to support a friend who needed her. She drinks black coffee like it’s water and she’s the first one in the office in the morning and the last one there at night because she’s that dedicated to her work. She wears high heels even though most of the time it probably makes her the tallest person in the room, probably because it makes her the tallest person in the room. And she has a plush bouquet of daisies on her desk that I sent her a year ago, even though we haven’t really talked since then. She’s not cold and she’s not cut-throat, Alex. She’s just… she’s scared of being hurt and she plays it safe and defensive more than she should because of it.”

“Will…” Alex says slowly, cautiously, like he’s not sure if he wants to be sticking his nose in this or not. “Bro, even if you’re right… girl like that’s gonna break your heart and you gotta know that. The scared ones, the ones who hold back pieces of themselves always do.”

There’s a surprising lack of judgement in Alex’s voice. Instead, it’s all sympathy, and somehow that hits Will even harder.

“You aren’t askin’ my advice, so I’m not gonna give it,” Alex tells him. “But speaking from experience, there isn’t much that sucks more than loving a girl who’s scared of her own feelings. And you add to this that she works for your grandmother… man, that’s just messy.”

“I’m not letting Moira Queen screw with my life more,” Will announces firmly, the muscles of his jaw tightening at the thought of his grandmother. “She doesn’t get to have that kind of control.”

“You’re awfully pissed at her for somebody you aren’t giving any control to,” Alex notes.

Something angry rises up in Will at that. If anyone in the world had solidarity on this with him, he’d have thought it would be Alex.

“How can you say that?” Will asks. “How can you expect me not to be pissed at her? After everything she’s done. To me. To you. How can you just brush her aside?”

“Because I matter more than she does,” Alex answers immediately. The confusion must be plain on Will’s face because Alex offers him a sad smile and a shake of his head. “Me hating her wouldn’t make my life better, vato, and it wouldn’t bring my father back, God rest his soul.” Alex pauses and crosses himself at this. “Hate is toxic, man. It’ll eat you alive. I ain’t never gonna forgive her for what she did. A part of me is always gonna feel like that little boy waiting for his papa to come home after the ground split open and swallowed part of the city whole. But I also had to let that go. You’ve got that choice, too.”

The surge of guilt Will used to feel - just for being a Queen, just for being his grandmother’s grandson - doesn’t wash over him the same way, this time Alex brings up his father’s death in the Undertaking. But it laps at the edges of his being, anyhow.

“I don’t know how,” Will confides. “How do you just decide to forgive her? She doesn’t deserve it.”

“No,” Alex agrees. “She doesn’t. But I do. You do, too. I wish she were in jail. Personally, I think she belongs there. The jury didn’t see it that way. Not in this life. But everybody answers for their sins eventually. I gotta believe God’s gonna hold her responsible for all the lives she took when she meets her maker. I’ll leave that to Him and live my life like my Papa would’ve wanted me to. You oughta think about doing the same.”

Will wouldn’t know where to start and he honestly has no clue how to respond, but he’s saved by Javi and Elliot joining them, the girls they’d been hanging out with are nowhere to be seen.

“Beer!” Elliot smiles brightly, stealing Will’s mug.

“Hey!” Will protests, shoving his friend.

“You’re the one who put it down,” Javi says. Like that’s some kind of excuse.

“Don’t look at me,” Alex shrugs. “I learned that years ago.”

“It’s cool,” Will says when Elliot tries to hand him back his mug. “I’m gonna head out anyhow, I think. I’ve gotta pick up Bethy in the morning and it’s getting late.”

“You’re no fun, old man,” Javi tisks, but he’s laughing as he says it and Will knows better than to take him seriously.

“We seeing you tomorrow?” Elliot asks. “Javi’s sister’s coming and she’s va-va-voom.”

“Hands off my sister!” Javi says, whirling on Elliot and suddenly deeply serious. “Sisters are off limits. Not cool, man. Not cool at all.”“Chill, Javi. He was kidding,” Alex says, gripping the other man’s shoulder hard in an attempt to rein him in. It might work better if anyone actually believed Elliot wasn’t serious. Still… Will can’t believe Elliot would ever screw around with Javi’s sister. Their team means a hell of a lot more to all four of them than to risk it over something like that.

“I’ll be there,” Will agrees. “Bringing Bethy with me, so maybe try to keep it PG. Okay?”

“You got it,” Elliot agrees. “I’m cool, Javi. I swear. I’m just messing with you.”

While those two have some kind of silent communication thing going on, Will tilts his head toward Alex in long-overdue thanks. He’s always valued Alex’s insight to things and tonight is no different.

“Have a good night, vato,” Alex tells him. “Think about what I said, yeah?”

There’s no doubt he will, really, but Will can’t imagine ever finding the level of peace with his grandmother that Alex has managed. Maybe he’s just too close to it. Maybe it’s because they’re family that it’s so very complicated. But the parts about Amelia…

“...there isn’t much that sucks more than loving a girl who’s scared of her own feelings.”

It’s true, Will thinks as he bids the boys goodbye and heads out. But that doesn’t change that he knows they could be happy together if she gave him half a chance, that he would never, ever break her heart if I could help it. And he doesn’t know how to turn off his own feelings any more than he knows how to make her comfortable with her own.

*

Thank you for reading! Reviews literally feed the soul and muse, so go send some love to @so-caffeinated!

[openanonymity]

Everything and Nothing All At Once

I've been busy lately with moving into our new home, so I haven't updated lately. With that said, the move went well. Just kidding. The day the movers showed up, they didn't have the right size truck, so they said they'd come back with a bigger truck. And. They. Never. Fucking. Came. Back. We had to scramble to get a different moving company. In the end, though, we still got everything major moved out of the house and into the new one. I love the new house, as does S. My first time living in a house that wasn't a three family house. It's wonderful so far, and will only get better from here. I've been having some crazy dreams lately. One involved this story of the real reason why my mom divorced my dad. Somehow, he got caught doing some dirty deed that forced him to register as a sex offender, and my mom wanted no part of that. Another one occurred last night. My friends I grew up with felt it was necessary to have an intervention to convince me into quitting drinking and convert to some form of Christianity I despise. As a guy who grew up Episcopal, I don't have much issue with my church, even though I never go. I refuse to go to church ever again. I find it to be boring, a waste of time, and I don't need church to help me become a better human being. That one woke me up at 2AM, besides the cat freaking out and knocking over the lamp near my side of the bed. I had a few other dreams, but those two stick out the most to me at the moment. I hated coming back to work this week. It's mostly because I'm finding myself less interested in my department. I just want to clock in, do my job, and clock out. I don't like interacting with some of the other mail reps with the exception of two of them. The other day, my manager got on my case because I had my headphones in while I was working. I thought he was going to say something important, but it was the exact opposite. He complained, bitched about, and insulted the other mailroom sites because he had to sit and listen to these calls that his boss and other managers set up. You know what? I don't give a fuck. This manager of mine makes somewhere around $75,000 a year to sit at his desk and act interested in what those other yes men have to say. I'd be happy to make that much money. I make half what he makes, and I have to hear him be miserable 40 hours a fucking week. I think I deserve to drown his bitching out with some music while I work. What could he possibly have to say to me that's so important, especially when most of it is harassing jokes that are at a middle school level? Want me to take you seriously? Act like a decent human fucking being. Treat us with some goddamn respect instead of focusing on the negatives that you happen to catch occasionally. The only reason I'd ever want to hear what he had to say is if it was important to my role (I'm getting a raise, promotion, procedure change, layoffs, etc.). I don't care about how you suffer in your role as manager. With today's conversation at work about the possible ban on transgender Americans openly serving in the military, I was really surprised that three of my coworkers were showing how much they hated it. After hearing them constantly making jokes about Caitlyn Jenner, I was under the impression that they didn't like trans people. Sure, Caitlyn Jenner isn't liked by a lot of people, but she's a part of the community now, and she needs to realize that who she has sided with politically has never given a shit about her or anyone like her, or any of us in the LGBTQ community. Voting Republican and being LGBTQ is kind of like during segregation days in the south if a black person voted Democrat back then, when a lot of the Democrats were unbelievably racist. Why vote for people who hate you? The current Republican Party only cares about the rich, white, and males. Anyway, it was a bit of a surprise to see some coworkers actually come out in support for trans people, even if it's just for serving in the military. It's a start. Today I ran into some issues with the softball league. One of the captains was unaware they had a game tonight, so I had to reschedule. Because of this stupid thinking activity my department has us doing, I lost the time to keep up with the league as commissioner. I had to update the standings, schedule, and catch up on all the emails that collected while I was on vacation. I also emailed all the captains to tell them I'm considering this to be my last season as commissioner. As much as I love softball, each season has been getting harder to manage. I have teams who don't pay attention to the schedule. I ask the captains and my own teammates what days of the week work best for them so I can make the best possible schedule without having to cancel/postpone/reschedule games. And yet, they still act surprised when they find out there's a game. It was on the schedule, I emailed both captains to verify the date a month or so in advance. Mark it fucking down. If something comes up, I can understand, but give notice or something if you can't do the day, not "oh I didn't know there was a game". There's a link to the league, I shared it with all the captains, keep track of that link. The schedule, for the most part, is up to date with the few exceptions that I'm on vacation. This year, I thought it would be easy. We only have five teams instead of seven. I even added games to the season to extend the season and make it more enjoyable. That wasn't the case though. A kickball league started up and has been occupying a few days each month, days that could've been for softball. Then I had to reschedule for business events on the field. I'm done with dealing with this shit.