#and that is his condition talking | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

on-a-lucky-tide · 22 days ago

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i can't. i can't hold it in. i need nikprice and price having a voice kink. *goes insane*

This one grabbed me by the throat immediately, Anon. Wow.

Price gets horny on leave, but he's exclusive now.

cw: voice kink, masturbation.

Price stared at the flashing cursor in the search bar and knew he would find nothing online that would sate him. That's what happened when you went exclusive with someone that could make you multi-orgasmic at the age of thirty-seven. Nothing else even compared.

Exclusive meant no Grindr either. Not that the vapid twinks that used to message him regularly, all with the exact same body composition, fashionable haircuts and smouldering looks, ever appealed. Price growled in frustration, slumping back against his pillows as he slammed the laptop's lid closed and threw it onto the bedside table.

His cock strained against his pyjamas, creating a damp spot in the soft cotton, and he reached beneath his waistband to release it. A quick wank wouldn't scratch the itch, he needed something, some stimulus, some connection. He gripped the base and waggled it around, slapping it back against his belly as he puffed his cheeks out, weighing his options.

If he wasn't on leave with nothing but the gym in which expend his energy, this wouldn't be a problem. His libido only seemed to rouse its head when he had time to spare, or when one particular man was nearby.

One thing for it.

He grabbed his phone and pulled up the number at the very top of his messages.

JP (20:38): you free to talk?

Nik (20:39): ...

Nik (20:40): yes

Only once Price was dialling up did he realise he had no idea what to do when Nik actually answered. He didn't have long to think up a plan, because the international dial tone ended and a familiar voice vibrated through the headset.

"Prevyetik, John," came Nik's greeting. He sounded sleepy, his deep voice even lower than usual. Price's cock twitched against his belly, interested.

"Evening, or... where are you? Were you sleepin'?"

"I am in Thailand," Nik said, and Price heard him groan softly as he moved, perhaps sitting up in bed.

Price ran the numbers and winced. "Bloody 'ell, it's half three, Nik. I'm... look, uh, go back to sleep, I... uh..."

"It is fine, I was struggling to sleep anyway. How is leave?"

"Boring," Price said, a smile tugging his lips up. He settled down in the pillows and fiddled with a loose strand in his bedsheets. "Nought to do but throw around weights and watch daytime telly. 'Spose ya can't tell me what yer up t' in Thailand."

"Nyet, John," Nik said fondly, and it made warmth spread through Price's chest, like Nik's hand was there. Price placed his palm over his heart and trailed it down, following the path of that fuzzy feeling right to his belly. Nik was listening to him intently in the silence, but finally prompted for more. "Is there something wrong?"

Price grit his teeth and breathed out a sigh through his nose. It was nice to hear him. His voice. It was like they were in bed together if John closed his eyes. "Nik, I am... harder than granite right now and, uh... I..."

"Ahh, this is a, what to say, a booty call."

"Oh, fu--yeah, 'spose it is."

Nik chuckled and it made Price squirm, his lower lip rolling between his teeth. When Nik spoke again, his voice was somehow even lower, smoother than the expensive whiskey they had drunk together the last time Nik had been in Hereford. "Perhaps we need to purchase you some toys to keep you occupied when I am not there."

"Toys? You mean like," Price cleared his throat and lowered his voice as if his neighbours might be listening to his dirty talk through the paper thin walls of his flat, "a dildo."

"Da. But there are other things... Are you blushing, John?" Nik was teasing him now.

"No..." John said, who was very much blushing and very, very fuckin' hard. He encircled the base of his cock again and gave it a cursory tug. "Can ya imagine their faces if I rocked up on base with an Ann Summer's bag? Behave."

"Ann Summers is a little... tame for what I was thinking."

"Oh yeah? Ya gonna fix me some bullets and a vibrator on our next op, Nikolai?"

"Hmm, perhaps one that is the shape of my cock for you. And then when you ring me next, I can talk to you as you use it, and it will be almost like I am there."

John gripped his prick a little firmer, stroking slowly from base to tip, his hips rocking up into his hand. Nik was practically growling down the line; the sound spread from Price's mind to the rest of his body like physical touch, curling around his spine as if Nik's palm was there to caress him, to press him down into the sheets. "Huh..."

"Are you touching yourself, solnyshko?"

"Yeah, Nik. Keep talkin'..." Price rasped, his eyes flickering closed as he sank lower into his pillows.

"What would you like to talk about?"

"I dunno, Nik, read the bloody hotel menu for all I care, just... I... I need to hear you. Your... mm, your voice."

Nik took a deep breath, a rumbling sigh. "Ya postoyanno dimayu o tebye," Nik purred, silky and smooth. Price bit harder into his lip, pushing his heels into the bed to lift his hips in small, tight thrusts. "Ty mne snish'sya kazshduyu noch."

"Oh, fu--" Price's toes curled as he swiped his thumb through his slit, collecting the welling precum as his entire body flushed with heat. His palm made slick, sloppy noises as it worked up and down his shaft, and he tried to imagine it was Nik's big paw as he whispered filth and love in his ear.

Price's Russian was getting better, but his mind couldn't parse the words, just the sound of Nik's deep bass, how his body was conditioned by it, associating it with pleasure and comfort so intensely that Nik could pull his strings from the other side of the planet.

"Ya polyubíla tebya.. s pyervogo vzglyada..."

Price propped the phone between his shoulder and ear and licked his fingers, dropping them to his chest to pinch one of his nipples. If Nik were here, that's where his mouth would be, his hands gliding down the length of Price's body, so broad that even Price's six foot two, well built frame sat comfortably in his grasp. Price would arch into his mouth, Nik's palms against his lower back as he kissed down, down..

"Nik..." Price panted, fisting himself roughly, his knees lifting, tilting out. He pushed his head back, sweat beading at his hairline.

"Oh, John, I think... you must look so beautiful now," Nik said, breathless. "When I see you next, I will... show you all this, I will... make up for all the times I have left you wanting. Ty mne nuzshen."

"Mm-mm, ah." Price's stomach clenched, his thighs shaking, as he tried to stroke himself through his climax, his fist slick with the pulses of cum he milked from his twitching prick. It was intense. More intense than the disinterested wanks that had done nothing to quench his thirst earlier in the week. Nik. It was Nik.

"There's my boy," Nik slurred, his deep, sultry rumble thick with pleasure at the sound of Price's climax, no more than squeaks and pants down the phone, but no doubt as clear in Nik's mind as if he were laying in the bed next to him.

Price stared at the ceiling, holding his softening cock, his mouth hanging open. "Nik?"

"Da..."

"Were you--? Did you--?"

"Da, John. You drive me crazy. I am... was pent up."

"You too, huh?" Price laughed, more gasping huffs in the back of his throat. "Two horny old men half way across the world from each other, wanking like teenagers."

"I will... be home soon, milyy."

"Hm. Home," Price said, rolling onto his side to find the tissues underneath his bed. Treated himself to some triple-ply from Morrie's. It was the little things that made leave tolerable, like high quality tissues to wank into rather than M.o.D. tracing paper. But he stopped as the gravity of what Nik had said sank in, and slumped back into the pillows. "Nik..."

"With you. With you, I am home."

Price smiled at the ceiling. "Go to sleep, stay safe tomorrow," he swallowed, his voice wavering as he gathered those words that still felt so unwieldy in his mouth, even though he felt them with every chamber of his heart, "I... love you."

"Ya tebya lyublyu. See you soon." The line went dead and Price chucked his phone onto the bed.

International call, that was a bloody expensive wank. Price smirked, sitting up on his elbows to begin the clean up. Worth it though.

#captain john price #cod nikolai #nikprice #cod #call of duty #just lying here thinking of Nik's deep rumble #and how he's classically conditioned Price by talking into his ear while they fuck #price's dick hears that voice and sits up like a begging dog

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dykedvonte · 2 days ago

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You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces #regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary #but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful #and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to #explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen #in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what #is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit #from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line #in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue #that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t #upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do #something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those #two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example #or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the #fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically #violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out #in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game #but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of #rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se #how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is #concerned about with Jimmy #and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy #instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste #which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab #complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post #on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if #you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make #the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions

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howlsofbloodhounds · 2 months ago

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Me in light of a recent reblog.

#utmv #sans au #sans aus #killer sans #killer!sans #undertale au #killertale #bad sanses #bad sans gang #nightmares gang #nightmare’s gang #killertale sans #something new sans #undertale something new #undertalesomethingnew #something new #something new au #real talk yall?#yes killer did a lot of wrong.#but i genuinely don’t think he has to apologize or redeem himself for anything he did under nightmare.#he had no say in that.#despite how he likes to front and pretend and deny he genuinely didn’t.#his victims are allowed to fear and hate him and distrust him.#because he still hurt them.#but he doesn’t have to apologize.#he could if he wants to.#but he is a conditioned programmed killer who was held in captivity & trafficked #under threat of death and torture and replacement.#he legitimately couldn’t tell who he was what he was or what he wanted.#he couldn’t trust himself or his sense of reality or his judgment at all.

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carebeardean · 1 month ago

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Charles loves Edwin So Much for so many reasons, but I think there must be a particular kind of joy for Charles, who walked on eggshells trying not to say the wrong thing to set off his dad for years, and probably brushed off a lot of racist micro aggressions from his friends before they killed him, watch Edwin Payne absolutely rip a man to shreds with his words.

edwin can’t fit in, has always been too effeminate, too queer, too autistic, and they already killed him for it so he doesn’t bother. what a relief it must be for Charles to be around someone completely, stubbornly himself.

someone who doesn’t lie because it doesn’t occur or him to. someone who is viciously, rightfully angry about the violence that was done to him. who maybe.. Charles doesn’t have to pretend around

#payneland #charles rowland #edwin payne #dbda #dead boy detectives #edwin Payne your autistic rizz has saved lives. lmao #thinking about roseganymede95 s recent fic at Turbo Speed Levels right now.#the scene where Edwin’s at the party talking about different species of rats & everyone leaves #except Charles whose like. genuinely delighted and curious and thinks everyone who left is losers.#& they sit in a corner talking about why rats teeth are like that like the weirdos (affectionate to the point of tears) that they are #LIKE. THEY GET TO UNMASK AROUND EACH OTHER. LITERALLY FOR EDWIN METAPHORICALLY FOR CHARLES.#I MAY CRY ABOUT IT.#idk the dynamic of like. Charles being accepted on the condition of.#his friends cutting off some part of his identity. his race his queerness his femininity his decency.#& then Edwin just. sees him. and thinks he’s simply the best kindest person on earth.#head in hands.

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braincloggedwithcats · 11 months ago

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Hey . Kissing repulsion is always ok. If you're kissing repulsed you're awesome and I care you. It doesn't make you silly, it doesn't make you childish and you deserve respect. It doesn't matter why you're kissing repulsed, if you have a reason at all, how old you are or how much or little you can tolerate, you're not hurting anyone and it's ok. I'm sorry if you've been made to feel bad for it, I'm sorry if you've ever made yourself feel bad for it, I'm sorry it's so hard to avoid. You're cool and you're allowed to feel however you want about it and that should be respected. You're ok

#sorry this is maybe a little out of nowhere and unusual for me but i was Thinking #kissing repulsion #kissing repulsed #aromantic #aromantism #asexual #asexuality #is kissing repulsion common in asensual people too? im not sure but it seems like it would be #i wont tag because i dont wwnt to invade but if anyone knows please tell and if youre asensual HI !!!#kissing repulsion is very rarely talked about and rarely respected. and when it is respected it feels very conditional #also i mostly tagged this aspec stuff but kissing repulsed allos are valid too. if youre kissing repulsed i dont care why youre welcome her #aspec #aspectrum #ram's post #kiss repulsed #kiss-repulsed

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skibasyndrome · 1 year ago

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I'm completely obsessed with and emo over the way Wilhelm carries himself now that he knows Simon loves him, too.

(just a sidenote, but the duality of love and devotion towards Simon on one side and revolt and confident deviance towards everyone watching him, including us on the other.... these frames make me unwell...)

Like, that's absolutely the stance and face (and smile) of someone who's done with putting his own and his boyfriend's (!!!) needs behind those of the people who never cared about what he actually wanted.

Knowing him and Simon are on the same page now, finally, really is all he needs to face off against the consequences of living authentically and openly. He knows that together, they'll be fine.

I'd like to think his resistance is starting here already, facing off Jan-Olof with this stare and not pulling away as fast as Simon - who after all just offered to be Wilhelm's secret - is.

It's so beautiful to see how much this has done for him in the S3 snippet. I feel like it's the first time he's moving like he's not a stranger on his own home anymore, like he's now commanding the place, like he's finally calling the shots. Sure, there are and there will be adversities (“I just wish it wasn't because of this”), but Wilhelm won't let them get in the way of him and Simon loving and supporting each other.

“They won't start without us” He knows it's true and really isn't giving a fuck anymore who might get mad at them, he knows that they won't be able to play this down, make him deny everything again, they can't take back his confession in front of every single phone in all of Hillerska, and he won't let them try to, either. He's ready to fight, that revolution they started back in season 1 is now really picking up, and they're in it together.

And god, it looks like it's healing him so much, he's so confident now, Simon by his side really gave him the strength he needed.

Like, the journey from the way he's desperately holding on to him at the confession, seemingly drinking it all in, those words he probably hasn't even dared dreaming of hearing from Simon and do taken aback by his emotions to the way he exudes confidence, strength, and conviction even in the face of adversity... the development is so beautiful.

The combination of love and confidence is one hell of a drug, and Wilhelm gets both from and through Simon... I'm convinced they are going to be one hell of a power couple this next season.

#if this isn't very original I'm sorry; just had to let my feelings go somewhere <3333 #young royals #wilmon #young royals analysis #??? a bit bold to call it that but I think it's the closest?#simon eriksson #prince wilhelm #oh boy all this talk of resistance and revolt is really getting to me #as a Camus girlie I actually probably need to write something about this at some point... I love Wilhelm facing the absurdity of his condit #his love for Simon being... “sa chose” yadayada... I'm here for it #I'd say il faut immaginer Wilhelm hereux but no need; in fact we KNOW he's happy #yr s3 spoilers #my yr thoughts

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