#and that however annoying they find me i find myself far far worse

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously ||

genre(s) -> angst, fluff, non-idol, hybrid au, poly au paring(s) -> choi san x reader warning(s) -> abuse, mentions of physical health, cursing, etc. words -> 3.2K

abstract -> after a messy break up, eunchae encourages the reader to adopt a hybrid. however, this hybrid comes from a dangerous past that might be dangerous for reader.

y/n's perspective

“Eunchae, I really don’t think I could take care of a hybrid” I sulked imagining her car and she sighed.

“After your breakup, you’ve been down. Hybrids can give you company, a platonic relationship.” She begged as she was now trying to convince me to get out of the car and into the hybrid facility.

“Everyone is worried for you. You’re at writer's block, that bastard broke up with you, and you’re alone. Yuta and Shotaro are especially worried about you please?” She begged and I decided to follow her.

I wandered away from her to look at the different hybrids. I missed the cute little fox hybrid I used to know.

I guess foxes are similar to cats… despite being canines.

I saw the feline hybrids… I didn’t even know how far I wandered until I saw a black tail tucked behind a bush.

Were they hiding?

I suddenly saw the black cat's ears go up and I saw it was a man. He was older than what most people go for… but he was so pretty.

“Hello?” I said in awe of the male who turned to me. I now saw his face… he was such a pretty hybrid.

He looked at me indifferently. “His name is San. He is not available for adoption” I heard as I saw behind me. “Why?” I asked and the employee looked annoyed. 

“You’re at the red code hybrids miss,” they said and I didn’t notice. “What will happen to him?” I asked and they sighed. 

“It’s being decided. San has good genes so maybe a farm but he’s far too aggressive to be considered so he might be seeing a euthanizing” they said and I felt my heart break.

How could a hybrid as pretty as he ever be considered to die?

“I heard you can get a red hybrid if you have a hybrid facilitation seal?” I said and they nodded.

I pulled out my license to approach such coded hybrids up to red. The only ones I can’t see are black-coded hybrids.

“Miss, you should know he came from the illegal hybrid fights that were caught a few weeks ago,” they said and that made me feel worse.

I could help him… but why did I want to?

“I’ll take him,” I said and they nodded. 

“I’ll get you the paperwork if you’d like to get to know each other,” they said as they were now home leaving me alone with the hybrid who looked at me confused.

“I’m y/n… they told me your name is San?” I asked as I encouraged him to get near the glass. 

He looked confused and nervous. “You’re a very pretty hybrid,” I said and he looked flustered as he looked away from me.

His pitch-black ears twitched.

“You’ll be coming home with me” I said and he scoffed. “That won’t last, '' he muttered. 

I sighed, illegal hybrid ring.

“I’ll make sure you’re safe. You’ll never have to fight anyone ever again” I said and he looked at me with widened eyes. Almost hopeful…

“Why would you want me? I’ve killed hybrids, I’m too old, I’m not the cute little cat hybrid you could have” he said it rated with me? It sounded almost like he was irritated with himself.

“I’ll dedicate myself to making you happy” 

San didn’t know how to react to what I said. As I was finishing up the documents I heard an enraged voice.

“Yah! You left me when we’re here for you!” Eunchae yelled and I nodded. “I didn’t think I could find any hybrid that interested me,” I said and she scoffed. “You need to give it… that’s a hybrid application” she said, cutting herself off in a confused voice.

“He’s really pretty, Eunchae. I didn’t know hybrids were so pretty” I said.

“You’ve worked with hybrids before,” she said and I nodded. “I don’t know… something about him pulled me in,” I said completely entranced with him.

“I’m happy you found a hybrid y/n”

Eunchae left as I was now waiting for San…. He was a panther hybrid. Exotic and really rare.

But I also was given the police file of his past for a safety measure. 

“Here he is” I heard as I saw him. They asked me if I had any clothes ready for him and I didn’t but they had some extra clothes.

He was in a simple white shirt and blue jeans.

They don’t give hybrid collars anymore. It wasn��t mandatory. Hybrids were now given collars for safety measures or dome areas in Korea to enforce the collar policy.

It wasn’t necessary though. 

I did custom order a collar, however. It was a collar quite popular for its pretty design. It was also one of the collars more expensive for its comfortable design.

I wanted to give it to him when I felt like I could without offending him.

It was controversial as I knew some hybrids didn’t like the thought of being given a collar.

I wanted to talk to him but he seemed anxious. I wanted to instead let him get used to my presence… he was a hybrid who must’ve held a lot of trauma. 

Maybe I should get an appointment with Kun…

“Oh, San we’re here,” I said as I stopped to enter the apartment complex when San didn’t notice.

“I know it looks intimidating but it’s really pretty and spacious,” I said and he nodded.

He stood close to me… almost as if he was scared to get lost.

“San?” I said and he looked at me almost nervously as he snapped out of his trance.

“Yes?” He asked and I smiled softly. “Are you okay?” I asked and he didn’t answer for a while… before nodding but I doubt he was sure of his answer.

I led him to the elevator. 

“Oh! Y/n!!”I heard as I saw Wonyoung. “You’re finally out of that apartment!!” She celebrated and I smiled meekly.

“Please tell me you’re done with the depressing break-up and grieving?” She asked and I looked down not knowing what to answer. 

“Oh? Who are you?” She asked, looking at San who hid behind me.

“This is San… Eunchae took me to get a hybrid” I said and she looked shocked. “I’m surprised you actually got one? You always said you never thought you could take care of a hybrid of your own!” She said and I chuckled awkwardly.

“Hmm. Can you look strong enough, protect her okay? And if a bastard named Hend—""Okay bye Wonnie!!” I yelled as I grabbed San’s wrist and dragged him to the open elevator.

“Sorry for grabbing you like that,” I said and he shook his head. It was only the two of us in the awkward elevator ride.

“You know her?” He asked and I smiled and nodded. “Our parents are family friends” I answered and he nodded.

“Did you get me to protect you?” He asked without looking at me.

“No… I got you… I actually didn’t want a hybrid but something about you made me adopt you. If anything while being with me you’ll live without worrying about anything ever again”

san’s perspective

Without worrying about anything again?

I didn’t want to believe that… Everyone had something to worry about. She couldn’t make that promise.

She wasn’t dressed like her friend was. Her friend was dressed in designer and looked like the typical rich kid. I was guessing she was the same… 

The elevator finally opened to a gate. She took out a card and she scanned it when it opened. 

She walked in and I followed her to what looked like a penthouse?

“I have five extra rooms, you can choose either one. Though the one closest to my room is the biggest. The others are the same size but that one has its own bathroom.” She explained as she led me to the room. 

It was huge that two, maybe even four hybrids could live here. It was a lot bigger than my kennel…

“Are you hungry?” She asked and I shook my head despite it. 

“Hmm okay. We’ll eat breakfast tomorrow then, oh do you have any favorite foods?” She asked and I shook my head. 

She looked so animated in her expressions. I could see her pity when I told her no.

“You’ll find some and we’ll stock up on them okay?” She said and I nodded.

We’ll see how long I last here… “oh! we need to get you some clothes… do you want to go tomorrow?” She asked and I didn’t… this was temporary. She wanted me for something I just needed to figure out what for.

“You don’t have to go… I can go with Wonyoung. I’ll just size your current clothes” she said and I nodded.

“I’ll let you get used to it… my room is literally down the hall. You can ask for anything” she said as she left.

“What do you want from me?”

I hate to admit that this was the best sleep I felt I’m my entire life.

The bed was so soft and warm because of the blankets and added pillows.

Maybe today I should sleep on the floor like I’m used to…

I left the room… I had to face her eventually and maybe it’ll make her take me back sooner?

“Oh! San, Good morning !!” She said so brightly. She was dressed for the day… she looked like how much money she had. 

Yesterday she wasn’t dressed like this… she is another trust fund kid.

“I’m not the best cook… but I can cook simple things!! I wanted to wait for you when you came out, but I need to go with Wonnie to shop for your clothes” she said and I nodded.

“Do you wanna stay or come with me?” she asked and I instead put my attention on the food.

I heard her chuckle softly.

“It’s okay… if you need anything, call my number with the department's phone. We should get you one soon okay?” She said as she waved at me and went inside the elevator.

I clicked my tongue… that had to be a facade.

The food she made was clearly made by her. If she can afford this place maybe she should buy a chef…

I still ate… it was actually good.

I didn’t expect her to actually make me edible food… I was alone with my thoughts when I ate all the food. 

I went to my room and slept a bit. I didn’t want to touch anything so I did the only thing I could do.

I suddenly heard the ding of the elevator and I went over to greet her cause I thought that’s what I should do but instead…

“Y/nnie!! I need help with— AHH” a guy who looked younger than her came in the elevator. 

Was this her boyfriend? 

“Dude why are— WHO ARE YOU?!” another guy appeared. “Woah… you’re a panther hybrid right ?!” I heard and I scoffed.

“No way… y/n never wanted a hybrid though” the other guy said and I scoffed.

“Uh- not that she doesn’t want you! I mean you’re here!” He tried saving it awkwardly.

“Isn’t it weird though… she never wanted a hybrid” he said and was punched by his friend.

“He can hear you!” The other one yelled. 

“What’s your name, I’m Haechan!” He said… “San” I answered and he nodded. “I’m Mark,” the other said.

There was a weird silence after. 

“You’re the hybrid behavior specialist,” Mark whispered. “I’m a receptionist,” Haechan corrected. 

“When will she be back?” Mark asked me and I shook my head. “She said she’d be back by now?” Haechan said when we heard another ding.

“Thank you!” I heard her voice enthusiastically say to the employees who held so many bags. “Wahhhh,” the two boys said.

Why were there so many bags?

“Huh? What are you two doing here?” Her friend from yesterday said. “We need help with an essay,” Mark said and she scoffed. 

“School,” she said she then looked at me with a happy expression… “You are gonna look amazing! Okay let’s see—“She grabbed my face and I had to control my discomfort

“Wonyoung! You can't manhandle him!” y/n scolded. “I’m not! I just need to see what face type he has for a haircut. He needs it and some trims for his fur…” she continued muttering.

“Did the two of you go shopping?” Haechan asked her and she nodded.

“Everything is for San,” she said and I was shocked. All of this?

I suddenly felt the other girl grab my tail causing me to growl at her.

“Wonyoung! I told you to stop” she whined. I couldn’t control it so I thought she’d scold me... not her friend?

“You need to explain a few things,” she said, now looking skeptical. “Just be careful and don’t touch him,” she said. Was she scared of me? Of course, she was…

Second day here and she might already be regretting it…

“Mark, Haechan I think I’ll have to reschedule. Wonnie thanks for helping me” she said and they nodded.

“We’re going out for lunch tomorrow. No excuses this time!” She said and y/n nodded. “Oh, can we come?” Mark asked and she laughed. “Don’t you have a case to study?”

The elevator soon went down…

“You can choose anything you like! If it doesn’t fit or you don’t like it we can always return…” I stopped listening to her voice.

What makes a trust fund kid qualified to handle a code red hybrid? “San?” She said and I looked at her and she was close. 

I could attack her… it would be easy to kill her.

“I’m tired”

y/n’s perspective

San didn't seem like he was adjusting well…

Something about his behavior seemed…agitated. I really wanted to take him to Kun but he would only get even more agitated.

I moved all the bags to a separate room. I wanted him to look through them. I don’t think he’ll want to though. So I would give him some clothes every day hoping he’ll tell me his opinion.

I did keep a specific bag. His collar.

It was a pretty black jeweled collar with black leather. I think this would offend him…

Yesterday he slept… all day and even now. I knocked on his door until he opened it. “I’m going out for a bit,” I said and he nodded.

“Try not to sleep so much okay? There’s also food in the kitchen so remember to eat” I said and he nodded.

Did he hate it here?

I went towards the elevator and I heard him close his door. The elevator stopped and Wonyoung came in.

“So… you adopted a traumatized hybrid,” she said and I knew she’d catch it easily. “Yeah…” I confessed and she sighed.

“He doesn’t like to be touched… So what else?” She asked and I sighed. “He isn’t good with other hybrids… with commands, bell-like noises, or screams,” I said and she sighed.

“How are you gonna handle a hybrid like that? Just because you have a behaviorist seal doesn’t make you a professional. You’re a writer, not Kun '' she said and I nodded.

“They were gonna kill him,” I said and her eyes widened. “Is he a red code?” She asked and you nodded.

She looked frustrated with me.

“He’s dangerous y/n!” She scolded and sighed.

“I already promised to make him happy”

After lunch with  Wonyoung, Eunchae, NingNing, and Karina I bought some food for San. I wanted him to get comfortable… but it wasn’t gonna happen in two days…

I walked in and didn’t notice anything different… I went to his room and knocked. 

He didn’t answer… maybe I shouldn’t have opened the door. To see the trashed room… claw marks and San staring at me I’m almost a feral state. 

“San?” I whimpered a little scared of the hybrid. A code red hybrid in a feral state could be lethal.

I could only do a frantic quick text to Haechan who I knew would get the message to Kun.

“Why?” He asked and I was confused. “Why adopt me? For pleasure? A trophy maybe? Your pet?” He asked and I shook my head.

“I wanted to help you” I said and he laughed at me now getting closer. “You’re scared… you offered your home to a predator” he taunted and I shook my head.

I wasn’t a professional… I was a book writer.

I accidentally tripped and I was now on the floor as he was in front of me. Leering over me in a predatory gaze.

“What do you want from me?” He asked and I shook my head. “Nothing,” I said and he scoffed.

“A trust fund kid… you don’t adopt an older and stronger hybrid for no reason. Is it because I was pretty? You wanted some fun with me? I know to your little friends a panther is something to brag about” he said and I shook my head.

He thought that?

“Just cause I lived in a cage doesn’t mean I don’t know about people like you,” he said and he grabbed my jaw. It was gentle at first and then he brought out his claws.

They stung a lot but they weren’t a big thing.

“I could kill you,” he said. “You could… but all I wanted was to offer you a better life,” I said and he scoffed. 

“You? What do you want in exchange? You weren’t offering anything for free” he scoffed and I shook my head. 

“Trust me,” I said and he suddenly gripped my jaw a little stronger making me wince in pain. He then punched the nearby bookshelf which had a glass vase.

I moved him out of the way of getting hit by a vase. Luckily it didn’t hit him… but it did hit me. I felt the fragile glass shatter all over my back.

The sudden impact made my vision go dark. 

“I’m sorry you think that way of me” 

san’s perspective

Was this girl an idiot?! I didn’t even notice that the big bookshelf had a vase on the top of it.

But why would she push me away from it? She was in danger, not me… “y/n?!” I heard someone yell out for her. It was someone I didn’t recognize… actually it was kind of familiar

Suddenly I see the appearance of a man… I didn’t recognize him. “Kun, she’s here!” he yelled as he got closer. He had a nurse's uniform… he was gonna help her. 

I didn’t interfere… he picked her up and took her away. She should be okay… it didn’t hurt her head, only her back. Suddenly another man appeared… the doctor that treated me weeks ago. 

“San…? Of course she would adopt you” he muttered clearly knowing her better to say that. “Is she gonna be okay?” I don't know why I asked… Maybe guilt? “I don't know… but you’ll be taken away from here and won’t be given the life you could have had,” he said and I laughed. 

“The life I could have had?” I scoffed out and he nodded. “She told me she adopted a traumatized hybrid. I just didn’t think she would have adopted a red code hybrid like you” he said and I didn’t know her. 

Every human uses everything around them… I would have suffered that with her. 

“Just get me away from here”

@wonuangel @danirael @angelsaway @krissroo @minkysmilk @mayonnaise-on-toast @robertsbbygirl @superbbananananana @hyukssunflower @kitty4hwa @justconniez @senpai-of-doom @kibs-and-bits @caityelise99 @ilovekinny @ateezennie23 @wooahaelemons @purplelady85 @watamotee33@chidess97 @littlelostdemonofthelight @maliamaiden @burntarm1n @spooo00oky @eastleighsblog @momo-peachy @kitstar1117 @quartzpirate @sunnyhokyu @iwishiwasrichasfuck @theginger543210 @pandolinka @ddaeing @kpopnightingale @slid3er @kekdo-520 @puppyminnnie @sparklinghwa222 @calicanbeevil @itsvxlentine @atinism @loumin908 @smally97 @rxnexxi @acetruepunk @majesticbeluga @namjooncrabs @tashizxy @itstheghostofmypast @smilefordongil @teeziny @totallynotlyntv @kyeos4ng @prodsh00ky @acescavern

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[save-the-villainous-cat]

"Listen." The villain grabbed the hero's arm. "I'm on a tight leash here."

The hero's mouth curled into a smile. "You mind repeating that?"

But the villain was quite serious, although their grip around the hero's forearm loosened.

"They will kill me if anything happens to you, you know that," the villain said.

"Womp womp."

The villain laughed hollowly and stared at the hero in disbelief.

"You're unbelievable."

Their nemesis had always been an incredibly unserious person - and an annoying one - but ever since the villain had been captured and assigned to protect them, it had gotten worse. Somehow, the villain couldn't blame them. The hero was, after all, a secretive person who didn't need any type of surveillance.

"I don't need a bodyguard," the hero said. They bobbed their head confidently. "I am not the best ranked hero in the entire city for nothing."

"Come on, don't be cocky now. I wouldn't be here if the agency actually believed that," the villain said and they meant every word. It was a kind of community service that was meant to reform the villain. Protecting people, watching the hero work - they assumed that was the goal of this entire operation.

However, the hero made it very easy to dislike heroes in general. They had a big mouth, viewed themselves as some kind of saint and (arguably) the worst thing above all: they also looked good while doing it.

The hero let out a big sigh and started stretching, followed by a yawn and a bored expression. It was clear that the hero wanted to fall into the bed of the shared hotel room and sleep until the afternoon.

"Little piece of advice?" They sat down on the bed. "Don't read too much into it. I doubt they know what they are doing themselves."

"They are in charge of internal security, they should know what they are doing."

"You think it's smart to put two nemeses in a hotel room with only one bed?" the hero asked. They wiggled with their eyebrows and all the villain could do was roll their eyes. "This agency is a real shit show and everyone smart enough should stay as far away from them as possible."

"I have no choice in that matter. You die, I die too. They will find a way to blame me. I'm supposed to jump in front of you when people shoot at you. I am nothing more than a human shield."

"Gorgeous human shield."

"I'm flattered," the villain said flatly. They took in a deep breath and let themselves fall next to the hero on the bed. They put their head in their hands and rubbed their face. If the hero continued to be reckless, if they continued to be so stupidly bold, the villain would start to feel the consequences pretty quickly.

"Don't be. I'm merely observing objective beauty."

"Ugh. Fuck off." The villain squeezed their eyes shut. They needed to think. If the agency was experimenting on them, the villain was meant to be the test subject which meant the agency wanted to control them.

The villain knew they had implanted a chip in them which tracked heartbeat and location. The only question now was: how was the agency going to kill them? Was the chip responsible? Was it something else?

"You're worrying so much, no wonder you are always so grumpy." The villain raised their head and before they could answer, the hero's hand was already on their back, delicate fingertips digging into sensitive spots. The villain bit back a moan and pulled back gently.

"Let's not...complicate things."

"Of course not," the hero said. "But honestly, don't break that head of yours trying to figure out their next plan. They won't kill you until absolutely necessary and I am very good at taking care of myself. So unless you are very incompetent - which you are not - you are good for now."

"For now," the villain echoed. They had to admit, the hero's fingertips had felt good on their back. They had never expected the hero to be capable of being serious enough to try comforting the villain. If it even was what they had tried to achieve.

As the villain looked at them, they couldn't help but concentrate on their jawline. On the darker colours of their eyes. Their fingers. Those damn fingers.

The villain hadn't recovered from that quite yet and they started to regret their words. They knew the hero flirted often, but they weren't sure how much of it was boredom and how much was real.

And even if something was to happen tonight, the agency would know about an increased heartbeat in the middle of the night in the shared hotel room.

Which in the worst case, they would interpret as a fight.

But it was more likely that they wouldn't.

The villain bit the inside of their cheek. Shit, they needed to concentrate. The hero always threw them off their game.

"Did they chip you?" the villain asked.

The hero pulled up their sleeve and very suddenly the villain realised that they had never seen this arm naked. And they understood why - the entire forearm was covered in scar tissue.

"The better question is: how many times did they try?" the hero said. They covered their arm quickly again and cocked their head. "The agency learns pretty slowly but they realised eventually I wasn't willing to play any games. When dumb people get a fraction of power, no matter how small, they will abuse it."

The hero had never been this serious before. Not with the villain. And the villain could do nothing but stare as the hero casually told them how much the agency truly sucked.

"It's inevitable. But when it comes down to it, who is stronger? Some written words on a paper or a true superhero? These people are just people and I was sick of listening to someone tell me where to go or what to wear or what to say or whom not to save. I wanted to save as many people as possible. And that's exactly what I am doing now. Without someone monitoring my body or actions."

"And yet, you're with the agency," the villain pointed out.

"I made a deal with them. I will play nice with them in public and in return...they are keeping someone safe for me."

"A lover?"

"I wouldn't share this bed with you if I had a lover. And I wouldn't say the things I say to you," the hero said. They stared at their own hands and the villain saw little scars all over them. Like a messily woven rug. "It's my sibling. Outside of the country, I didn't want them to grow up here. But...yeah. They write me every week."

The hero smiled but they didn't seem to be happy.

"I'm not allowed to write back. Ever. I know it's better that way, but...I know they will forget me eventually."

The villain didn't say anything. They had never thought the hero would tell them something like this. And they had never expected them to go beyond their cocky persona. It was a little more than strange to hear this from someone whose main priority was flirting during battle.

"Maybe it's hypocritical of me. To say all of this and yet I am working with them to protect my sibling and pretend to be on good terms with them, but for my family, I am gladly the sinner. I would become the enemy to protect them."

"That's very admirable," the villain said. And it was. It was impressive. It was horribly understandable, too. "You're very special, I hope you're aware of that. You're a good person."

And now, the villain couldn't really hate them anymore. They couldn't even find a reason to. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

They took in another deep breath and tried for the last time today to think clearly.

"I appreciate that you told me this. But I think it’s late and we both need some res-"

"I know, I know, darling. Take good care of my secret, though. Or I’m afraid I’ll have to kill your pretty ass," the hero said. They pursed their lips.

"You're welcome to try." The villain had to grin.

"Hm, tempting…not right now, though.” They leaned over and traced the villain's collarbone with their index finger. "Or the poor agency will think we are doing worse things than fighting. Those chips are scarily precise when it comes to counting beats per minute."

Great minds and all.

[peachhcs]

The 5 times Neteyam loved you and the 1 time he said it.

Neteyam x fem!reader

Word count: 15.6k 😳

Summary: pretty self explanatory I think, but the 5 times Neteyam loved you and the 1 time he finally said it 😌

Warnings: near character death, talk of absent parents, gun & knife violence, blood

ITS FINALLY HERE!! THE LONG AWAITED 15k+ fic I took like a week to write 😭 This is cliche but I haven’t seen anyone else do this prompt before. I listened to the people and put this into one large fic, so I hope y’all like it!! The ending is..a little rocky, but it’s what you get after forcing myself to finish this. There is a prologue in this & I wasn’t originally going to include it, but I liked it too much to delete it from the story LOL

If you guys want a Lo’ak version, I have one in the drafts, but idk if that is something y’all want. My requests for fic ideas are open, so send some in if y’all want! Thanks for all the love!! (ps, not quite proof read so if there’s some spelling or grammatical errors my apologies)

MASTERLIST

PROLOGUE.

It was no doubt that you were an extreme pleaser. Growing up as the eldest sibling to your parent’s five, it was your job to stay in line. Set the example. Follow the rules. Be the golden child. It was the whole reason why you and Neteyam bonded so quickly when you met.

He knew how it felt to be the perfect one. You both carried the same burden, the same pressure, the same expectations set by your parents. All you wanted was to please them and get the praise you desperately craved.

You saw Neteyam for a few weeks now. It started one day in the woods when you were out exploring. Foana and Ni`awtu insisted going out into the forest. You knew being the eldest that you couldn’t possibly leave them to their own devices, so you reluctantly followed after them.

That same afternoon, the Sully kids decided embarking on their own expedition. The clan was so large and spread out in nearly every part of the forest that you hardly knew every single person. You knew of the Sully children and their great father Jake, the Olo’eyktan and Toruk Makto, however you did not know them.

Everything changed for you and your siblings that afternoon when Foana wandered off. You had no idea that a certain Sully boy would change the entire trajectory of your life that day.

You were distracted with admiring the beautiful flora that you didn’t even realize your younger sister disappeared. A tiny tug on your tail made you spin around, hissing at Ni`awtu standing shyly behind you.

“Ni, what do you want?” You answered annoyed that she interrupted your gazing. Seeing her little worried features made you scrap any annoyance you ever possessed in the first place.

“It is Foana. I do not know where she went.” The fear laced through the young girl’s voice. Your eyes shot up, now realizing that the youngest sibling was no longer around the two of you.

To make matters even worse, you only brought your knife with you expecting a quick and short trip.

“Ni`awtu, you were supposed to be watching her at all times. Argh.” You pushed past her, beginning to sniff out any possible trails Foana may wandered off on.

“I am sorry, sister. I swear, I thought she was right behind me.” The familiar wobble of Ni’s voice and her trembling hands told you she was close to tears. Sighing, you collected her into your arms.

“Do not worry, it is not your fault. We will find her.” Being the eldest meant you could not be mad at your little siblings for long. You also could not let them take the blame for things—even if it was their fault at times. That was just what came with growing up as the eldest. You took nearly all the blame.

The two of you walked the tree lines, scanning every possible inch for that little rascal. She hardly knew the forest like you, so she couldn’t have been too far. If anything, she was probably cowering underneath a leaf or behind a tree because she did not know where she was anymore.

Your ears perked up when you heard voices ahead. In a quick maneuver, you shoved your sister behind you incase it was a threat. Not many from your clan ventured this far out into the forest by the old shack. It was forbidden by the Olo’eyktan—so whoever was ahead couldn’t possibly be Na’vi.

There was a tiny laugh, though. It caught you off guard and your defenses fell for just a moment. There came another laugh, louder and one you recognized this time.

“Foana.” You muttered and ran ahead through the brush.

When you came through clearing, you grew surprised seeing your little sister playing around with another younger Na’vi girl.

“Y/N, look! I made a friend!” Little Foana sensed your presence and motioned towards the other little girl. She smiled up at you with a toothy grin.

“Foana, what in Eywa are you doing all the way out here? You do not wander away from me or your sister.” Your mom voice came out, loud and booming. The little one looked down in shame realizing she was in trouble.

“I am sorry, sister. I did not mean to. I just..I saw a flying lizard and had to follow it. I found her on the way.” She stuck out a thumb at other girl. Another sigh escaped your lips knowing she must’ve also strayed off her path and probably had people looking for her as well.

“Tuk! There you are! Why did you wander off?” A new voice entered the scene. She raced past you, scooping up the girl in her arms.

“Sorry, Kiri. I found a friend, though.” Tuk pointed at your sister who gave a similar toothy grin and a wave.

“It is okay, sister. Just make sure you tell someone next time, okay? Neteyam, I found her, it is okay.” You didn’t realized there was entire group behind you now. Two boys, no three boys, stood behind you. Two Na’vi and the singular human boy you knew lived around here.

“Tuk, I told you to keep up with us.” The shorter Na’vi boy went past you to ruffle up her little braids.

You hadn’t moved a single muscle since their sudden arrival. You were too awestruck in the way they comforted the girl. Neither of them showed any signs of anger or annoyance that she wandered off. It was so unfamiliar to you—all of that sincerity and comfort to one another.

“Oh, please excuse us. I am so sorry. I am Kiri. This is Tuk, Lo’ak, Neteyam, and Spider behind you.” The girl that came in first finally acknowledged your presence with a warm smile as she introduced what must’ve been her siblings.

“Oh, no need for apologies. I am Y/N. This is Ni`awtu and Foana.” You did a bow of greeting which your sisters quickly followed after.

“It seems as though our sisters have befriended one another. We were so worried when we realized she had wandered off.” Kiri laughed and pinched Tuk’s little nose. You smiled at the affection.

“Yes, us too. I was glad I found them both unharmed.” You pulled your sisters closer, trying to show a tiny bit of affection like the other siblings displayed.

“Let’s just be glad we didn’t need to call dad in. He would have beaten our asses if we told him we lost Tuk.” Lo’ak laughed and then his older brother smacked him on the head. The unfamiliar terms and use of some English words intrigued you. Not many Na’vi knew English besides the Olo’eyktan—obviously being from the sky.

You began putting two and two together. The five fingers of Lo’ak and Kiri. Lo’ak’s use of English phrases you didn’t quite understand. These were the Sully children. The Olo’eyktan’s kids.

“Oh my Eywa, I am sorry. You are children of the Olo’eyktan. It is a pleasure to meet you.” You rushed out, flushed you had not picked up on it beforehand. You bowed again, urging your sisters to do the same.

“Woah, we’ve never been greeted like that before.” Lo’ak snickered and the older boy hit his head again.

“Lo’ak, stop it. Do not apologize. We are Omatikaya as much as you are. It is really our father who gets bowed to.” The older one spoke to you in a kind tone that had your face heating up in a way it had never done before.

“Well, it is still a great pleasure to meet all of you.” He grinned at you. There was something igniting inside of you just looking at his smile. Something you had never felt before.

“Can Foana and I have a playdate sometime?” Tuk spoke to you, her little voice adorable as ever. However, you were unfamiliar with the term she used.

“Playdate means like a hang out.” Kiri must’ve seen your confusion. You quickly nodded.

“Of course, anytime as long as neither of you wander off again.” You joked some, smiling down at your little sister. She grinned excitedly.

“Perfect, you may bring her over anytime or we can bring Tuk over. She has been so excited to start making new friends ever since our parents allowed her to go out more.” Kiri was so soft spoken and so gentle. Her presence alone just made you feel so warm and welcomed.

“You could bring your other siblings, too. You have two others, right?” Lo’ak spoke up more. You quickly nodded, a bit surprised he even knew that. It wasn’t like your family was well known like they were.

“Tsanten and Naria.” You did not miss the way Lo’ak’s face blushed at the mention of Naria.

“Well, bring them all and even yourself, we love the company.” Kiri beamed and you couldn’t help but smile yourself.

You hardly received invitations out often. You were always busy taking care of your siblings, cleaning up, staying in, following your parents’ orders. It didn’t leave much room for fun and going out.

Neteyam was still glancing in your direction. He just couldn’t seem to pull his eyes away from your pretty hair flowing loosely down your back, or the way your eyes lit up when Kiri extended the invitation to you and the rest of your siblings.

He knew of your family through passing here and there. You were the eldest, just like him, yet he never saw you out much. Either you were hidden away in your tent, or out hunting. He knew you were a hunter because Beyral spoke of your name often.

You intrigued him. He liked the way the confusion floated over your face when Lo’ak or Tuk used phrases you didn’t understand. He liked the protective nature you held over every single one of your siblings—similar to him. How you held them close to you. He wanted to know more about you. He wanted to make you smile again because it sent an unfamiliar feeling of butterflies in his stomach that he enjoyed.

He wanted more of you. If only the two of you knew what your future held.

ONE.

Neteyam was protective over everything in his life—his parents, his siblings, and now you. Being the eldest, especially to the Olo’eyktan, it was his job becoming the protector when his father wasn’t there.

He fought off anyone who poked fun at Lo’ak or Kiri for having five fingers. He made sure someone was with Tuk at all times when she went out to the forest. He helped his mother anytime she asked whether it was with food or his siblings.

There was no denying how similar the two of you were. It was what drew him to you. You held the same protective nature as him. You took care of your siblings the same way he did. You understood the burdens he carried because you held them high on your shoulders as well.

It was when the two of you were together that he could let go of everything, even if it was just for a little bit. When the day was done and everyone was sound asleep for the night, tucked safely into their tents was when the two of you snuck out to spend time together.

It was more of a private relationship for the time being. Being the next Olo’eyktan in line, Neteyam knew that if he told people he was seeing someone it would spread like wildfire across the village. People would start talking and they probably wouldn’t ever leave you alone once the word was out. He wasn’t sure if you wanted that on top of everything else and if he was being honest, he wanted you to himself just a little while longer.

His feet worked quickly jumping from tree branch to tree branch. The luminescent forest was his guiding light through the night and he took one final swing to his destination. When he got his footing, there you were right where you met almost every night.

Your back was slumped against the tree and you hadn’t noticed him yet, instead, your gaze was focused on the glimmering stars above. Every time, Neteyam was so in awe of you. He knew how stressed you were throughout the day having to do this and that, so seeing you here waiting for him in the most relaxed state gave him a sense of pride.

“Oh, hi.” You finally noticed his looming presence. The boy grinned, walking towards you.

“Hi, sorry I am late. I had to make sure Tuk was truly asleep for the night.” The sound of your laugh made his heart swell in his chest. He snuggled himself in beside you with his head resting on your stomach.

When you put your hands across his back, all of his muscles finally relaxed. The stress slowly dissipated and everything felt right being in your arms. During the day, he was a leader who held no fear. At night when he was with you like this, none of that mattered. He didn’t have to put on the facade for you.

“She never falls asleep on time. I think she is afraid she will miss out on something. Foana is the same way.” He hummed when he felt your other hand begin brushing through his braids.

“That explains why she is always following Lo’ak and Kiri around.” Your stomach rumbled with laughter again and the vibrations were so calming to Neteyam. If he could, he would have your laugh on repeat.

“Your training, how did that go today?” Another thing Neteyam adored about you was how you never failed to ask him about his day. Any detail he told you, you remembered and talked about it the next night. He had never been listened to like that before. It made everything inside of him feel warm and appreciated like he had a purpose.

“It was okay. I think dad is getting mad at me because I can not seem to understand things as fast as he wants me to.” Neteyam sat himself up so he could look at you properly. His back fell against the tree in the same way yours did, still keeping your bodies close.

“You will get it, do not worry. It takes time learning all the ways of the Olo’eyktan. Your father probably struggled as much as you did once.” You clutched his bicep to give it a comforting squeeze. Neteyam’s gaze fell away to the sky, though. His mind beginning to turn elsewhere.

“Yes, but he was already strong when he fell into the position. He was an adult already. I am merely a teenager still.” He heard you scoff beside him.

“You are just as strong, Neteyam. Do not tell yourself you are not. You are learning and your father just wants what is best for you.” You always knew what to say to him to make him feel better. His gaze finally fell back to you, your gentle gaze making his face blush.

“I think my parents are catching up to the fact that I may be seeing someone.” You giggled, looking away as you changed subjects. Neteyam, however, stiffened up at your words.

“What do you say?”

“Well, I just laugh it off and say I am not. They do not ask much more after that.” He could not read your expression because you weren’t looking at him. He didn’t know if you were upset you had to deny it or something entirely different.

He certainly wished he didn’t have to be so private about his personal life, but he was afraid his mother wound disapprove—not that there was anything to disapprove of you. It was mostly the others in the clan. People would start talking. They would start seeking you out. You would have to start learning the ways of Tsahik, maybe (Hopefully in his mind). He wanted to make sure you were completely comfortable to be put into such a spotlight like he was before anything was really said about the two of you.

“Neteyam? Are you alright?” Your voice snapped him from his thoughts. You were already looking at him when he met your pretty golden eyes.

“Yes, sorry. I was lost in thought.” He gave you a gentle smile to reassure you.

“About what?” You loved to pick his brain though. His expression twisted and he found the need to place his arm around you and pull you closer towards him. Your head fell absently against his chest.

“It is not important.” He had this thing where he would sometimes hide his emotions from you. He did not want to burden you with this one right now.

“I feel like it is, though. I will not make you tell me, but you can if you want to.” Another feature he absolutely adored about you. You never pried, but made it known that he could tell you anything. He squeezed you a tiny bit closer as if there was anymore space left between you two.

“Are-are you..upset that our relationship is not..for the entire clan to know?” He blurted and then avoided your gaze so he wouldn’t see your expression.

“No, not necessarily. I like the privacy.” You answered honestly, but Neteyam wasn’t sure if he believed it yet or not.

“Are you lying?” You sat up more to look at him. He was gnawing at his lip, worried that you were lying.

If he could give you the world, he would. He wanted to give you everything. He wanted to show you off and take you on dates that weren’t in the dark. He wanted to hold your hand and kiss you in front of people so they knew you were his. However, he could not do any of that in fear that someone would be mean to you or say rude things. The entire clan was kind, but there were few who said things when they did not approve. Neteyam only knew because he heard the things people said about his father when he became Olo’eyktan.

He is demon blood. How would he know how to lead a clan?

Can we really trust him with our people?

What does she see in him?

Those children, they are demon blood. Five fingers.

They are not true Na’vi.

He could only imagine the things they could say when he announced his possible chosen woman. He wanted to keep you out of that. He wanted to protect you from it as much as he could.

“No, I am not lying. Why would I lie?” You gave a small chuckle; however, Neteyam was still not eased.

“Right, sorry. You would not lie about that.” He looked down, embarrassed he even thought you would lie to him. A gentle hand cupped his face and directed his attention back to you.

“What is going on in that head of yours? Tell me, it seems to be bothering you.” You observed his entire face and Neteyam was flushing under your intense stare.

He took your hands in his, squeezing gently and blowing out a long breath.

“I want to give you the world, but I can not. I only do not tell people about our relationship because I am afraid they will say things we do not like. I do not want them to hurt you and say things like they do about my father and mother. That is the only reason I have kept us from them. Not because I am embarrassed or anything of you.” Neteyam spilled his entire heart to you right then and there. He watched your face for a reaction and subconsciously prepared for a negative one.

Instead, you just grinned and stroked his hand with your thumb.

“I did not think you were embarrassed of me. I know you have a lot on your mind all the time. You do not need to explain yourself to me. I do not mind keeping our relationship private.” Your head tilted to the side, still grinning.

“I just want to make sure you are completely ready to have every eye on our relationship when and if we tell people. It is a lot of pressure and people will be talking. I do not want to just push you into that if you are not ready.” Neteyam continued.

“I am ready whenever you are ready. You worry too much about me.” You laughed and Neteyam’s head fell against your chest. You cradled the back of his head with a smile.

“So you are sure you are ready to handle it? You can tell me no.” He looked back up at you, scanning your face for any possible secret resentment you weren’t telling him.

“You forget I have thick skin. I grew up with parents who were perfecting my every move. If I can take them, I think I can handle being your girlfriend in public.”

It was then that Neteyam knew you were it for him. You held no fear in your eyes that he seemed to be harboring deep down in his depths. You were ready to be by his side under any circumstance.

He brought your face into his hands so he could pull you forward for a kiss. It was everything he could not say and everything he wanted you to know. The night was young and so were you two in that moment.

TWO.

Tonight was a big night as Neteyam ran around the hut like some mad person. He was shoving Tuk’s toys away, cleaning every single space, forcing his family to be on their best behavior—especially Lo’ak.

You were joining his family for dinner so they could properly meet you. Despite all of his siblings already knowing you, it was his parents who did not have much knowledge about you. It was mostly just name in passing, but one they never asked much about.

When Neteyam told his parents he was even seeing someone in the first place, their reactions were pretty priceless.

“Hey, mom, dad?” The eldest Sully walked into their hut while his parents worked away at their own separate projects. They turned his way at the sound of his voice.

“Yes, what it is ma son?” Neytiri questioned. The boy was flushed and picking at his fingers, unsure of how to even approach the subject.

It wasn’t that his parents were against him dating around, but he had never shown much interest beforehand, so he wasn’t sure how they were going to react now.

“I..I um-well, you see, I met this girl a few weeks ago. She is very kind, strong, intelligent, a hunter. I-I would like you to meet her one night over a dinner, maybe?” He carefully watched for their reactions.

His mother, wide-eyed, looked over at her husband. They exchanged a few glances, probably speaking with their eyes, but Neteyam had no idea what they were silently saying. He worried it was bad things.

“Oh! Yes, yes, of course. We would love to meet this girl. Who is she? Is she Omatikaya? Does she live around here?” His mother stood, embracing him while asking the hundred questions she had. His father sat back with a tiny, proud smile on his lips.

“Her name is Y/n. She is just a few huts down. She is a great hunter and warrior. Beyral speaks of her sometimes.” Neteyam explained your background as best as he could. Both of his parents were beaming widely.

“Yes, I have heard that name a few times before. She sounds wonderful, I am so excited to meet her. I had no idea you were seeing someone.” Neytiri was the most enthusiastic for her eldest. He had nearly reached all of his requirements that would make him one of the People and it was only a matter of time before he would begin looking for a future mate.

Tuk went on all day about her excitement that you would be joining them tonight. Neytiri worked all day preparing a great meal with the help of Kiri.

“Bro, I can’t believe you never told us about dating around with Y/n.” Lo’ak snickered as he helped with some of the cleaning. He earned a slap on his head for that comment.

“Well, it was not much of your business, was it?” Neteyam retorted and the younger brother only shrugged.

“I knew you were sneaking out late at night. I could just never have proof.” Another snicker and another slap. Lo’ak finally let up on his annoying teasing.

“Tuk!!” A little scream broke the boys from their conversation. Nearly everyone in the hut looked over to see a little Na’vi girl run in. Tuk was smiling widely, bringing her friend in for a hug.

“Foana! What did I say?—“ Suddenly, you appeared, grabbing at your youngest sister. Neteyam noticed your other three siblings just behind you. You met his eyes before darting them over to his parents who were glancing your way. Your entire face flushed.

“I am so sorry. Foana begged me to bring her to say hello to Tuk and then..well, I could not leave everyone else out.” You quickly explained yourself in small embarrassment. Neteyam rushed to greet you.

“Tsanten, Naria, what’s up?” Lo’ak happily got up to greet your other siblings. Ni`awtu stood shyly behind your back.

“I am so sorry for them.” You whispered to Neteyam when he was close enough. He only grinned.

“Do not apologize.” He kissed your cheek and then stepped aside for his mother who approached.

“It is nice to finally meet you, Y/n. I have heard many things.” Neteyam watched the exchange, still a tiny bit nervous for his parents approval of you. You smiled, nerves also evident behind your eyes.

“It is so nice to meet you as well, Mrs. Sully. I have heard so many things about you.” You bowed your head using the I see you gesture.

“Please, call me Neytiri. It is so nice to meet all of your siblings, as well.” She grinned again at the other little kids talking with her own children.

“Oh, thank you. They will not be staying, they just begged me to bring them to say hello.” You rushed out, eyeing each one of them to make sure they were being well-behaved in the home of the Olo’eyktan.

“Oh please, we have so much food. They can stay.” Your eyes shot to Neteyam. He only gave you a small shrug, ultimately it being your decision. He figured it would be easier to get your siblings’ introductions out of the way now too.

“Oh, no, you do not have to do that.” You shook your head, but Neytiri was persistent.

“It is no trouble. I insist.” She gently touched your arm. Neteyam could tell you were not used to such hospitality. He also touched your arm and you glanced his way. He nodded, saying if his mother thought it was okay, then it was okay for them to stay.

If anything, it would hopefully keep Lo’ak out of trouble or saying things he shouldn’t if he had other people to talk to that he liked. That was Neteyam’s biggest concern of the night, really.

“Okay, thank you, really.” You thanked Neytiri by bowing your head once more. She grinned and then walked away.

Jake came next to greet you. Neteyam knew you were worrying about him more than anything. He was Olo’eyktan and Toruk Makto after all and it was the most important to get his approval.

“Hello, Y/n. I am glad to finally meet you.” You bowed to him which he did the same back.

“It is a pleasure to meet you.” Neteyam watched as you urged your siblings to bow before his father as well. They listened to you, doing as told.

You held such power over the little ones, but not in a bad way. Neteyam wondered if they listened to you more than your own parents. You had told him many stories of you becoming the main parent for your siblings growing up. Your parents were very absent. They were always on hunting trips, so it often left you caring for them. The eldest Sully could tell it wore you down—slumped shoulders, tired eyes, callouses on each of your hands, cuts, and bruises.

“Please, please, come in. Make yourselves at home. Our hut is your hut.” Jake ushered all of you in further. You smiled at him, not quite understanding the phrase, but you knew it was a kind one by his tone and expression.

“Y/n! Y/n! Guess what I did this week?” Tuk grabbed at your arm. You smiled down at her and crouched to her eye level.

“What did the mighty Tuk do this week?” Neteyam smiled at the way you ruffled up her hair.

“I caught my very first fish!” The little girl jumped up and down in excitement.

“That is amazing, Tuk! I am so proud of you!” You squeezed her tightly.

“Tell her how big it was.” Neteyam encouraged. His little sister held out her arms wider than herself. Your eyes widened.

“No way. That is bigger than you!” She giggled in excitement.

“I know! Everyone was so excited for me.”

“I certainly hope they were. That is a great accomplishment little Tuk.” You stood and Neteyam beamed at you. He saw your face flush a bit.

“You know she adores you, right?” He reached up to push some of your hair away from your eyes. You were wearing it loose like usual and some of it was pinned back with little petals hooked into it.

You blushed again. Neteyam loved how he could always make you blush like that.

The night went on just the way Neteyam planned. His parents asked you and your siblings many questions which you all happily answered. Just by the smiles and exchanges, Neteyam knew his parents loved you already which relieved him. He was worried something would go wrong. Lo’ak even managed to keep his comments to a minimal and mostly because he didn’t want to look like some fool in front of Naria.

Later, after helping his mom clean up, Neteyam went looking for you. He stopped short when he saw you sitting with Tuk, Foana, and Ni`awtu. You were playing some game with some sticks with them. There was a large smile on your face as you laughed at what Tuk would say. Even your sister, Ni`awtu, was smiling despite how shy she came off as.

Neteyam felt a hand come around his back. His mother appeared next to him, also watching the scene unfold. The sun began to set and eclipse was near. The forest was illuminating around you four. It was the prettiest sight Neteyam had ever seen—you with his little sister playing her games she always made up.

“She is a wonderful woman, Neteyam.” He smiled, glancing his mother’s way for a moment.

“So you like her?”

“We love her. If you do decide one day, she will make a great mate.” A small wave of relief washed through the older boy. He was so glad his parents approved of you.

Now it was just a matter of telling the rest of the clan. He knew most of them would be as supportive as his parents, but there was always the handful that had something to say. Neteyam would do his best to protect you from those who would say things.

Although, for now he would just enjoy the scene in front of him. He wanted to keep the warm feeling bubbling up in his chest for as long as possible. You were utterly perfect in his eyes.

“Neteyam! Come join us!” Tuk had noticed his presence. His mother squeezed his arm before letting him go. You made room for him to join the circle. The two of you exchanged a glance, knowing exactly what the other was saying.

You were definitely a keeper.

THREE.

Neteyam knew you were an excellent fighter. You were the best in the age group every time you went for trainings. He was always so in awe anytime he watched you skillfully use your bow and arrow to hit the targets on the ground from above. Or, your stealth as you dodged in and out of the trees. He knew he could never be as great of a fighter as you were.

However, with that also came the fear he held every time you left to go on missions. This one in particular was an especially dangerous one. His father appointed you to the head and it even shocked Neteyam a bit when he was told to hang back on this one but you were going.

You sat on the ground between his legs as he worked separate little braids into your hair for you. The only time you ever wore braids was for these missions or when you went hunting.

Neteyam did not want you to know he was worrying and playing every single worse case scenario in his head, so he kept quiet as his fingers worked quickly through your hair. However, his leg was bouncing right beside your head and that was hard for you to keep ignoring.

“Neteyam, are you alright?” You placed your hand over his knee. He realized it was bouncing and quickly stopped.

“Yes, I am fine.” You twisted your head around, pausing his braiding for a moment. The look on your face told him you didn’t believe him.

“Liar. What is wrong? Tell me.” You urged and Neteyam knew he couldn’t keep being quiet anymore.

“I am just worried is all. It always happens when you leave for missions like these.” He admitted, forcing a smile so you didn’t see all of his worry. You frowned a bit.

“You know you have nothing to worry about. I am a warrior. I always have been. When have I not come back from one of these?” Your tone was more of a “duh” tone. It didn’t ease Neteyam’s fear though.

“You never know what can happen, though.” He quickly make his defense. Instead of meeting your eyes, he just continued to work away at your hair.

“I suppose I do not, but you trust me, right? You trust your father. He would not send me into something dangerous.” Of course, Neteyam trusted both of you. It was the Sky People he had no trust in. He had seen them fight and the way they always had the upper hand with their crazy machine guns.

“Of course, but I am even not going. Is that not saying something?” He made a face and you were unsure what to say.

Neteyam finished off the last of your braids. The ends jingled together with the beads he added in. They were some of his own and he smiled at the fact that you two were going to match.

He turned you around and dipped his fingers into the bowl of paint beside his leg. You stayed still as he traced it around your face. He thought how jealous Lo’ak would be that you got to wear the war paint he didn’t on missions.

The two of you were silent. The feeling in the air changed ever since you didn’t know how to respond to Neteyam’s last statement.

You stood to look at yourself in the mirror when your face was done. The blue and yellow streaks went down your cheeks and around your eyes.

“Here, do not forget these.” Neteyam stood with your riding visor. He gently reached up to hook it around your ears.

You never flew with a riding visor, but then Neteyam made you one because he was worried about the wind drying out your eyes. You had happily accepted his very thoughtful gift and ever since then, you never rode without it.

“I am a warrior. I will make it back.” He felt comfort in the way you squeezed his arm. Your gaze was on him with a reassuring expression.

“I know you will. I just worry about you.” He cupped your face into his hands, bringing you towards him more.

“I have been doing this my whole life. I have my transmitter, too, so you will be able to listen in.” You placed the collar just above your necklaces and then hooked the earpiece into your ear. Neteyam remembered how thrilled you were when Jake gifted it you.

“We’re off in five minutes, everyone. Be ready!” Jake spoke through your ear. You glanced towards the opening where others headed out to their ikrans.

Neteyam brought your forehead against his. He closed his eyes, breathing you in and savoring every single detail about you just in case.

“Good luck. Be safe.” You smiled at his Earth phrases and brushed your hand along his cheek.

“I will see you soon.” He brought you in for one more kiss. His lips worked a bit rough like it was the last kiss he would give you. He was worrying that much.

You were the one to pull away, knowing you had to be out there very soon. He leaned into your touch when you kissed his cheek and then hurried out of his grasp. Neteyam hurried outside of your hut to watch you take off.

His dad took the lead as he dove off the cliff first. You were quick to follow, disappearing from his view almost immediately. Others in the clan who stayed behind clapped for the war party. Neteyam’s worry was only piling higher in his stomach, already anxiously awaiting your return.

—

Hours felt like days in his mind as he paced around his own hut. Tuk was in the corner playing with her toys and Kiri eyed on her older brother as he paced.

“Brother, you need to stop worrying so much. You know she will make it back. Y/n is very strong.” Kiri tried reassuring the anxious boy in front of her.

“I know, I know. This mission was a dangerous one, though. Dad did not even let Lo’ak and I go, yet he had Y/n go?” The logic still didn’t make much sense in Neteyam’s head. He wasn’t trying to discredit your abilities, but if you were going, he should’ve at least came along too.

“You have to remember that Y/n has been a warrior her whole life. Even when she was a kid. She was out hunting when she could walk. This is in her nature. Your father knows that and he knows she is a very useful asset to this mission.” His mother piped in from the other side of the hut. He didn’t even known she was listening to the conversation.

“Yeah, what mom said. She’s been fighting like this her whole life. She knows how to handle herself.” Kiri added on.

“Yeah, plus, she doesn’t always need you at her side and call.” Lo’ak had piped in now and Neteyam glared at him. Since when did his whole family become involved in this conversation.

“I am just trying to protect her.” He said in defense to what his younger brother said. Lo’ak just shrugged.

“Ma son, I know it is scary to not know what is happening, but we need to trust the Great Mother and everyone on that mission. They know what they are doing.” Neytiri squeezed Neteyam’s arm for comfort. The boy sighed, but nodded.

As if on cue, people started shouting outside of their hut. In the distance, ikran calls filled their ears. Neteyam instantly knew what that meant—the war party was returning. Everyone in the hut ran outside to greet them and check for any major injuries if any.

Jake’s ikran landed roughly atop the rocky cliff. You flew in not a moment later. The crowds were thick around the edge and it was hard to truly see what was going on. Being as tall as he was, Neteyam still could not see that well past the others trying to get a closer look.

He did not know where you were. You must have gotten down from your ikran, because it’s back was empty and there was no sign of you. Neteyam tried to push through some of the crowd, but it wasn’t much use because no one wanted to move.

“I heard it was bad. Many people were injured.”

“I can not believe he let that little girl go on such a dangerous mission.”

“This was one of their toughest missions yet.”

The words floated around his head as he heard people muttering to one another. He tried not to picture the worst for you. You had made it back, he knew that, but were you severely injured? Neteyam’s heart was practically beating a hole in his chest trying to find you.

Finally, he caught sight of some familiar braids and war paint near the edge of the crowd. He recognized Tsanten and Ni`awtu at your side hugging you.

“Y/n!” He finally was able to break out of the group. He hurried to you, joining in on your siblings’ group hug. He felt the way you clutched the back of his head with one hand and the other held onto his arm with a firm grip.

“Are you okay? Are you injured?” Neteyam pulled back to back to examine your face for any injuries.

Despite the minor cuts and scrapes, nothing looked too alarming to his knowledge. You had a pretty large gnash on your back, but it wasn’t bleeding out profusely or anything.

“No, I am not injured. Just scraped up.” You gave him a tiny smile. He was glad he got to see that again as he cupped your face and placed a quick peck onto your lips.

“Come on, I am sure Mo’at has medicine for these cuts.” You let Neteyam lead you away from the crowds and back to the huts. He sat you down on the ground and then disappeared to find his grandmother.

When he returned he had a handful of herbs, creams, oils, and bandages in his arms. You giggled at the sight.

“I did not think you were much of a healer.” He dropped everything at your side and then kneeled down to your level.

“Well my grandmother is the Tsahik after all. I happen to know one or two things.” Neteyam argued, his lips dancing with a tiny smile.

He gently worked to take your visor off and then wiped away the war paint. He knew you didn’t like to talk about the missions right away, so he enjoyed the comfortable silence between you two instead.

Neteyam’s hands were gentle as he rubbed the special herbs against your skin. You would occasionally hiss when it hurt a little bit more and he would mumble something about how he was almost done and you were doing so well.

He certainly wasn’t a healer like his grandmother or Kiri who had a special hand at medicine, but it meant a lot to both of you when he would heal your wounds for youor, when you would heal his after a long hunting day.

“Many, many people got hurt today.” You spoke after some silence. Neteyam hummed behind you.

“It was that bad?”

“Their machines are just so powerful. We are no match with our bows and arrows sometimes. They had to have known we were coming because they attacked back at us so harshly.” You shook your head some and Neteyam knew there was vivid images replaying in your mind.

“It is so hard to understand why they want us dead. If they were just a bit kinder then maybe there could be more peace worked out.” You continued on with your little rant, frustration becoming set in your body language. Your shoulders fell tense under the Sully boy’s hands.

“You know how hard they have tried with us. Someone always gets hurt. I suppose after all the failed efforts they have no other choice but violence, unfortunately.” Neteyam knew all about the schools his mother once attended in her earlier years. It seemed like the Sky People tried making an effort, but nothing ever held permanently.

“I know, it is just so frustrating. Tsanten and Naria are growing to that age where they will be old enough to go out on their own. I worry for them and what those demons could do to them.” A scowl sat on your face. Neteyam turned you around, cupping your face in his hands.

“I know how terrifying it can be. I worry for my siblings everyday, but you are very strong and you will be able to teach them well.” You smiled, but it didn’t stay for long as you casted your gaze away from him.

“I just wish I was not the one to always do it. My parents pay no attention to them anymore. They are always away. It should not be my job to teach my siblings every single life skill they will ever need.” You pushed yourself up from the ground, leaving Neteyam’s grasp.

He watched you wander to the entryway where you stared at the people moving about outside. Many were still tending to those who were wounded more worse than you.

Neteyam wasn’t a complete open book, but when he was with you, he felt comfortable enough to share the things bothering him the most. You, on the other hand, had a more harder time opening up to him. He knew you trusted him, but he couldn’t pull everything from you. He knew you parents were strict and absent people, always being away, which is why you held so much responsibility and burden. However, he didn’t know much more than that. You always closed it off.

Hearing what you were saying now, though, it was more than what you would usually say. Neteyam got up to join you at the entryway.

“You are right, it should not be your job, but unfortunately it is. You do a great job at teaching them and raising them.” His hand fell against your back. You leaned a tiny bit closer to him while your gaze was on Foana and Tuk a few feet away.

“I worry that they think I am too hard on them, but I am really just trying to help them survive on their own.” In that moment, Neteyam realized something. His whole life, his parents taught him how to hunt, fish, make kills, but their biggest motto was “Sully’s stick together.”

While yes, he was learning things on his own, he was also learning that he wouldn’t have to be alone because his family would always have his back. You did not have that.

You were the one who would always have your siblings’ back, but they wouldn’t always necessarily have yours. You were teaching them to survive on their own, not to depend on one another like he was taught growing up. Independence was a key feature of your family dynamic. Dependence was the key feature of his family dynamic.

“You are not too hard on them. You are doing what you know and hoping they will learn it too. It is a great feature to know you will always be dependable for them. However, you can always depend on me if you ever needed something.” You met his gaze and Neteyam smiled warmly at you.

“Your words are too kind. Thank you, my love.” Neteyam’s ears perked up. He had never heard that nickname before from you. You giggled upon seeing his surprised reaction.

“No, thank you, pretty girl.” He engulfed his arms around your shoulders to bring you into his chest. You chuckled and he knew you didn’t quite understand his nickname he gave you, but it didn’t matter.

He thought that maybe you going out on these missions weren’t so bad as long as he was the one to patch you up afterwards—and he always was going to be the one patching you up every. single. time.

FOUR.

Neteyam ventured out on a day-long hunting expedition with his father, brother, and even your own little brother. You remembered how excited Tsanten was when Jake approached him one night to ask if he wanted to tag along to get some pointers from the older guys.

It warmed your heart to see Neteyam’s family being so welcome to your own. Tsanten didn’t have your dad to take him out like this, so being able to finally go out was like a dream come true for him, especially with the Olo’eyktan.

You had a pretty slow day considering Neytiri decided to take Tuk, Kiri, and your other three sisters out for what she liked to call a “girls day.” She extended the invite to you, but you figured with everyone out of the hut was a great opportunity to get some cleaning done.

With a job that would usually take hours, it only took about two and you were done by noon. Toys were put away; the rug was cleaned; things were put back where they belonged—the entire hut looked spotless.

You ended up venturing over to the Sully residence to see if Neytiri and the girls returned yet. You thought it was empty approaching since it was practically silent until you saw Mo’at sitting near the back grinding some of her herbs together.

She caught your eye before you could walk away. You had never really spoken to the Tsahik before. Most times, you would send your siblings in if they had gotten hurt and waited outside for them. You knew she was a woman of few words despite being so highly respected within the clan.

You bowed to her.

“You must be Neteyam’s…oh what do they say..girlfriend?” The older woman cracked a tiny smile causing you to flush.

“I suppose so, yes. I apologize for interrupting you.” You nodded to her bowl of herbs. She waved you off though, beckoning you inside.

“I come here sometimes to get away when I want to be alone. There is always someone bursting into my hut needing fixing.” You smiled a bit, sitting down beside the older Na’vi.

“I understand. It is always nice to get away sometimes.” She smiled, glad you understood her.

You felt a bit strange being in Neteyam’s home without him there. Ever since the family dinner, you had only been over a handful of times, so being here alone with just his grandmother was definitely different. The usual organized chaos that filtered through his home was replaced with tranquility as the day grew shorter.

“You are a hunter and warrior correct?” Mo’at spoke up again. Flushing that she knew that about you, you nodded.

“Those are very useful skills to have as a Na’vi like you. I am impressed, especially with how much my grandson tells me about you.” She waved her finger around. You were sure that if Neteyam was here he would be embarrassed she had said that.

“Thank you, Mo’at. My parents grew up that way, so they raised me the same.” Your parents had always been die-hard warriors, so it was practically in all of your blood to become just like them one day.

“I do not see your parents around as often as I used to.” Who knew the Tsahik knew so much about your family. You scratched the back of your ear to find some excuse that didn’t sound horrible to tell her.

“They are always on hunting trips. They like to travel a lot.” Not a complete lie, but not exactly the entire truth.

“I see, I see. They always seemed to be very ambitious people.” You nodded. Yes, ambitious was certainly one way to describe them.

“It is mostly just my siblings and I around the hut. They like to take very long hunting trips.” Mo’at nodded once again.

“Yes, Neteyam says that you are the main caretaker of your siblings.” You flushed again. How much was Neteyam actually talking about you when you weren’t around? A lot, apparently.

“That task can be rather daunting, but he says you handle it very well. All of your siblings seem like very respectful people.” She continued before you could respond. You smiled. That compliment meant a lot coming from Tsahik of the village.

“Thank you, that means a lot coming from you.” She grinned at you while continuing to crush and grind away in her little bowl.

“Would you like to try?” She looked down at the bowl. You flushed realizing she was asking you to help grind up her herbs.

“Oh, sure.” She switched places with you and you began doing exactly what she had done. You crushed them down into tiny little bits and pieces.

“This could be your job one day.” Mo’at eyed you as she added in another handful. Your entire face deepened into a darker shade of blue.

“Oh..I do not know about that. Maybe?” You liked Neteyam a lot, but you two were teenagers still. His selection for a mate was still so far away and he would not become Olo’eyktan for quite some time.

“You like my grandson, no?” For a woman of few words, Mo’at seemed to have a lot to talk about with you.

“Yes, I do. He is a lovely young man.” You weren’t sure, but you thought you saw her grin from the corner of you eye.

“I do not know much about..what does Jakesully say..teenage love, but I know my grandson likes you a lot. He talks and talks about you so much. I know it can be scary stepping into that kind of love, but I usually do not steer wrong when I watch my children fall in love. I was not wrong about Jakesully and my daughter.” Hearing all of this coming from Tsahik meant so much to you. You held a lot of respect for the older Na’vi and now she was sitting beside you giving you advice about relationships like you were one of her own.

“Your hunting and warrior skills matched with your caretaking skills would make a wonderful Tsahik one day if that is what happens.” She squeezed your arm and everything in you felt so warm and comforted. No one had ever said things like that to you before and hearing it from Mo’at made it even more special.

“You are too kind. Thank you.” You flushed for the hundredth time in the last twenty minutes. Mo’at grinned once more.

“I know a kind soul when I see one. Eywa would not have brought you and Neteyam together if she was not wanting you two to be together in that way.” Obviously, Mo’at would know best when it came to Eywa. You smiled, glancing back down at the herbs.

Maybe one day this would be your fate.

—

Neteyam returned from his day-long hunting trip exhausted and ready to collapse into his hammock for a long nap. His mother was there to greet him with a kiss to the cheek and to his surprise, his grandmother was sitting inside eating her bowl of food.

“Hello, grandmother.” He bowed to her and she nodded back.

“Hello, my grandson. How was the trip?” Neteyam shrugged some, dropping his belongings to the ground for now. It was as best as it could be with Lo’ak being his usual self plus an added friend along for the ride.

“It was very informative. Father gave us great tips.” That part was not a lie. Jake always gave his sons great pointers for making their kills.

“That is great, I am very glad. I had a nice visit with your Y/n today.” Neteyam’s eyes widened a bit.

“You did? When?” He suddenly worried his grandmother told her embarrassing things about him or exposed how he would talk about her all the time.

“She stopped by here looking for you, I think, but I was here instead. I offered inside and we had a very nice chat. She is a wonderful young woman.” Neteyam couldn’t help but smile hearing that. You were amazing. He was glad to hear his grandmother liked her as much as he did.

“She would make a very wonderful Tsahik one day. She has nearly every skill necessary without even having much training for the position.” Mo’at eyed her grandson. Neteyam’s entire face flushed, but he also felt a sense of pride. You were great at nearly everything, he wasn’t surprised Mo’at thought that.

“Well, I hope one day it will happen. We are still young and—“

“Tsahik knows everything, son. It will happen.” Neteyam watched his grandmother beam at him widely. He flushed once more and then tried to hide the smirk forming on his lips by looking away.

In his head, he knew you were the one for him, but that was never definite. Hearing his grandmother basically confirm it was enough for him. You were it for him. Through and through.

FIVE.

You hadn’t snuck out during the night in awhile. Neteyam suggested it would be a nice way to get your minds off of things and just be with each other for a bit since your siblings were always interrupting or needing something.

Neteyam swung along the oh so familiar path to the tree he had taken so many times before. Eclipse had just begun and every time he was so amazed at how the forest lit up around him. It made Pandora that much more magical.

Like always, you had beaten him to the spot. Except this time, you weren’t alone. Your ikran was perched a few feet away and you had your riding visor on. Neteyam grew suspicious, but you only grinned at him.

“I thought we could go for a ride. We haven’t flown during Eclipse in so long.” You freckles were glowing and Neteyam could see the large smile on your face and your eagerness to fly.

“I did not bring any of my things and I only have my—“ You cut him off by revealing your hands that were hidden behind your back. You held his riding visor in your hands.

“I knew you would say that, so I planned ahead.” Neteyam could only smile at you. You always thought of everything.

“What if we get attacked or something?” Neteyam was still skeptical. He loved riding at Eclipse with you, but he felt under prepared if anything happened while you two were out.

“Nothing will happen, I promise. If it makes you feel any better, I have my bow. Come on, we have not ridden in so long.” You were tugging at his hand and he couldn’t resist your pleas. He took his visor from your hands and smiled.

“Okay, fine. Let’s do it.” He would do anything to be able to make you smile like you were right now. He called for his ikran while you hopped up on yours.

Once you two were both on, you exchanged a glance. There was a playful smirk on your lips as you pushed your visor down. Neteyam grew curious of the look.

“Last one to Ayram Alusing loses!” And then you were off before Neteyam could even process what you had said.

He quickly took off with you already five paces ahead of him. He had no idea how you gained so much speed already while he struggled to even pick up momentum. The wind blew against his face, making it burn some of his skin that was not protected. It was definitely not working in his favor tonight.

“You are losing, Neteyam!” He heard you call from ahead of him. He growled some and focused all of his energy into catching up to you.

He was finally able to catch up to your side. He smirked over at you.

“Who is losing now?” He teased and pushed ahead ignoring the harsh breeze as best as he could.

The two of you soared through the sky, the Hallelujah Mountains just ahead. Neteyam had the lead, but you were just on his tail, literally. If you reached out, you could probably touch the end of his ikran.

You had a competitive spirit, so there was no way you were letting yourself loose to Neteyam. From his peripheral, he saw you creeping up on him.

“You can not win everything, Y/n!” He called over to you, but there was something in your eye telling him you were definitely not losing this round.

He tried focusing through the bond to get his ikran to pull ahead as the first two mountains came up. However, you blew right past him like magic and crossed the imaginary finish like. Neteyam sighed in defeat as you pumped your arms up and down for another victory.

“I told you I would win. You do not win against me.” The eldest Sully still smiled nonetheless, enjoying seeing you so happy. He would lose a hundred times to you to be able to see you as happy and carefree as you were right now.

“My apologies, I should have known I had no chance.” Neteyam held his hands up in surrender. The little smirk continued to dance on your lips as you took off to keep flying around the mountains.

The boy stuck close to your side, the two of you smiling widely as you weaved in and around the large rock formations. You would occasionally dive over the larger branches hanging out to make it a game.

Neteyam felt like his parents where he knew they still snuck out at later hours of the night to do this. It was so thrilling, yet so relaxing at the same time. The breeze had finally died down and it no longer felt like bullets pelting his skin as he rode.

“You want to rest here? There is an open spot.” You pointed up ahead at a clearing in one of the mountain tops. Neteyam nodded and followed you to the landing.

You jumped off your ikran, taking in your surroundings. The entire area was glowing its bioluminescent glow. Each flora, leaf, tree moss, everything was shining bright acting as the light in the dark night.

“That was easily the best ride I have had in awhile. What about you?” You flipped your visor up and turned to Neteyam. In a swift move, he snaked his arms around your waist to bring you closer.

“That certainly was a great ride, but maybe next time you will lose the race here.” He grinned and earned an eye roll from you.

“In your dreams. You may be future Olo’eyktan, but you can never win against me.” You shook your head and Neteyam only chuckled.

“And you may be future Tsahik one day, so that competitive nature may need to die down a bit.” He smirked and your face flushed. You broke away from his grasp to look up at the blue-purple sky.

“Your grandmother speaks of the same thing.” You smiled, thinking about your time with Mo’at a few weeks ago.

“Is that what you two talked about that one day?” Neteyam questioned, always wondering what his grandmother could possibly be saying to you when he wasn’t around.

“She is a very kind lady. She knows what she is talking about.” You laughed some. Neteyam cringed knowing she definitely embarrassed him during that conversation.

“Did she say anything about me?” He had to ask even if he didn’t want to know.

“Oh, so many things. She loves you.” You found a comfortable spot against one of the trees to stargaze. Neteyam joined you.

“Anything embarrassing?” Your tiny giggle told him all he needed to know. He internally face palmed.

“If I told you, it would ruin the fun.” You grinned and Neteyam knew that Mo’at definitely embarrassed the shit out of him. Wonderful.

“Well, I am serious about your future Tsahik fate. Just think, you and I head of the clan one day. It would be perfect.” Neteyam threw his arm around you and you giggled at the image appearing in your head.

The Sully boy pictured it too. It looked very similar to his mother and father right now. You would still be a warrior while also caring for the people when they needed it. He would wear the large feather chest piece and headpiece his father wore—planning hunting trips, war parties, overseeing the entire clan. The future was so close yet so far. He knew it would be before him soon.

For now though, he wouldn’t worry about that and enjoyed the time he was spending with you by his side. It was enough waking up in the early hours of the morning, spending hours on specific skills, he didn’t need to wish it upon himself right now.

“Well, if it does happen, at least the people seem content with your choice of..me.” You giggled at your wording. Neteyam smiled.

“It is a miracle no one has talked much. I think they know my father will be at their throats considering I am their son if they did say anything about you.”

“I knew it would be fine. You worry too much sometimes, you know.” You poked at his chest, making him squirm away from you.

“I am merely just caring about you. It is not worry.” Neteyam attempted to defend himself, but it was clear he had a weak defense.

“You also worry. Do not be afraid to admit it. It is charming knowing you worry so much.” Another grin came from you.

“Well of course I am going to worry and care. It is who I am.” You pulled him back towards you so he could cuddle into you.

“And I love who you are.” You cradled his head, pulling your hand through his pretty braids.

He almost said it. He almost had the courage to tell you.

Jake taught Neteyam the phrase when he once asked what it meant after hearing him tell it to his mother. Jake explained how it was much more intimate than I see you. It was something the Sky People would tell those they cared deeply for.

Neteyam had been wanting to say it you for ages, but he never thought it was the right time. He didn’t know how you would react. Would you freak out? Would you say it back? Did you love him? He for sure loved you, but he wasn’t sure if you reciprocated his feelings that much. He didn’t want to scare you with such a meaningful phrase. It seemed like the right time, but it also didn’t at the same time.

Instead, he nuzzled his head further into you and breathed you in. He savored the way your hair smelled—somehow it always smelled like fresh flowers. He listed to your heartbeat, nearly putting him to sleep. The moment was taking him over. It was complete bliss and comfort being in your arms.

THE ONE TIME HE SAID IT.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

You planned a cute little picnic in the forest for you and Neteyam. He was dragged out of his hut with instructions to keep his eyes closed or he would ruin the surprise. Your grip on his hand was tight as he was dragged through the forest, occasionally knocking his head against a low hanging branch you forgot to push out of the way.

“Y/n, that was the third branch. Where are we going?” He laughed trying to figure out where he was, but it wasn’t much luck considering he was blindfolded.

“Just be patient. You will love it.” You hoped he would love it. You worked to put it together all day yesterday, so if he didn’t like it you’d be damned.

Trusting you, Neteyam kept accepting hits to the head and scratches to the arm knowing it had to be worth it in the end.

When you two finally arrived at your destination, you pulled the cloth from his eyes. He squinted, not used to the bright light, but when his vision finally leveled out, he was in awe of what he saw.

The little clearing had been decorated with numerous vines that wrapped around each tree branch. Flower petals were scatted along the ground. It looked like something from his dreams.

“Surprise! What do you think? A picnic in the forest.” You held your arms out, excitement bouncing across your face. Neteyam was still speechless at the effort that must’ve been put into all of it.

“You did this all for me?” You nodded, leading him further in.

“Of course I did. I had some help from Kiri and my sisters, but you deserve it after all the work you have been doing.” You turned to him, grinning widely. Neteyam cupped your face trying to find the words to express his gratitude.

“You are the best person ever. Thank you, my love.” He pecked your lips and then went to see what you had packed for your picnic.

You joined him on the blanket Neytiri let you use while Neteyam immediately began eating anything he saw. You laughed at his actions.

“Someone has not eaten yet today?”

“Oh, you have no idea. I have been out since the eclipse ended training with my father.” You grinned, glad you could feed him.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

Since it was a spur the moment surprise, neither of you thought to bring any weapons with you besides the knives you always carried. It was a part of the forest only Na’vi went. There was no possible way danger could lurk around the corner or behind a tree.

“If you could come back as anything you wanted, what what you want to come back as?” Neteyam laid across the blanket staring up at the clear sky. Your head was beside his as you laid the other way. Your stomach’s were full of food and now you were just relaxing in the sun.

“Anything?” That was a hard question. There was so many things you wanted to be.

“Anything.”

“I think I would want to come back as an ikran. They are so beautiful and just imagine being able to go anywhere you wanted basically. Flying through the sky with your rider. It sounds like such a dream.” You adored your rides with your ikran and being one would be a whole other level you would want to experience.

“I think I would want to come back as one of the good scientists like Norm or Dr. Max.” Neteyam’s answer surprised you and even himself. Sky People were evil and even some didn’t fully trust the good scientists who stayed behind, but he wanted to know what it felt like to live as human.

His father told him and his siblings countless stories of his time being apart of the Sky People and it always intrigued Neteyam.

“I know it sounds crazy, but my father told us so many stories as his time as one of them. It just seems so interesting to me.” He continued his reasoning when you didn’t respond.

“I understand it. I think it would be interesting to live as them for a day.” It was strange to Neteyam. Sky People could live like his people whenever they chose to, but he could not live like them. There was no science to make human bodies for Na’vi people who wanted the experience.

He got a lot of exposure from Spider, but it wasn’t really the same. Neteyam wanted to see it, feel it for himself.

“I have just always felt human because of my father’s blood. Even though I do not have the five fingers like Lo’ak and Kiri, I still have half of his blood in me.” Neteyam tore his gaze to his hands. His long, thin fingers that were just like his mother’s and Tuk’s.

His parents liked to say he took on more of Neytiri’s genes while Lo’ak gained Jake’s.

“It is okay to wonder and want to feel it, Neteyam. You are half human, half Na’vi. It is good you are curious.” You reached up to caress his cheek and the boy leaned into your touch.

“It just feels wrong, though. The Sky People are demons. They hurt us. Why do I want to wonder more about them?” In a sense, he also felt guilt. He knew how much his mother despised those people and even sometimes Spider because he was one of them. Why should he want to know more when all they did was hurt people?

“Do not feel guilty for wondering. Your father was them once upon a time,” He grinned at your english phrase you used. Him and Lo’ak were definitely rubbing off on you. “And he is a good human. You can still wonder and want to be like them and still be good. Norm and Max are good Sky People. It is your blood, your ancestors. Do not feel bad for wanting to wonder.” Neteyam liked the reassurance you were giving him. He was worried he sounded crazy or something.

He was about to respond when his ears twitched for a second and he suddenly got a random chill across his arms. A faint rustling noise floated into his ears. He quickly sat up.

Normally, he wouldn’t have been so alarmed, but the way his skin started to crawl told him it wasn’t some animal lurking.

“Neteyam? What is wrong?” You sat up seeing his quick change in demeanor.

“Shh, be quiet for a second.” He held his finger to his lips. His eyes bounced around the area you two were in and he grabbed for his knife.

The rustling noise continued and it got closer to where you guys were. Neteyam grabbed your arm, making you stand up with him. His actions were frightening you because you didn’t know what was going on.

“Someone else is here.” He whispered to you. He felt his heart beating a bruise into his chest at the idea of someone else lurking close by.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

A noise and then an arrow was flying just above your heads. You screamed out of instinct and fear. Neteyam’s hand was back on you about to hide behind a tree. When he spun around, two larger hands with a much stronger grip grabbed ahold of the two of you.

You screamed again. Neteyam hit them with his knife causing a minor distraction. He spun away from the prying hands, until four more people emerged from the bushes, large guns in their hands. He suddenly stopped, knowing he couldn’t take them with just a knife.

“Well, look at what we have here. Looks like we crashed someone’s date.” Neteyam knew it wasn’t a true Na’vi by the way they wore full clothes and spoke in english to him. It was Avatars.

The one, tall with a buzz cut haircut, crouched down to be at his eye level. Neteyam hissed at him as he scanned his entire face with his eyes. He held his knife out for defense.

“I heard you talking a few moments ago. You said your father was from the..Sky People. Your father doesn’t happen to be Jake Sully, does it?” With the English Neteyam did understand, he knew this guy was bad and clearly had his dad on his radar.

“Oe rä’ä tslam nga.” (I do not understand you) Neteyam growled out. The avatar looked at him, quirking his eyebrow and exchanging a glance with his accomplices with him.

You continued to struggle in the hands that held a tight grip on you.

“If you tell me where your father is, I’ll let her go.” He nodded towards you. Neteyam only hissed at him once more, knife high, ready to strike.

“Or we can do this the hard way, it’s up to you. You are definitely your father.” The avatar man grabbed Neteyam’s hand. He examined his fingers, raising his eyebrow once more.

“Sure didn’t get his genes though, that’s for sure.” The others snickered around them. Neteyam pulled his hand back, unsure of what to do. If he went for a hit, they wound shoot and he didn’t want that to happen.

His eyes gazed over at you. You met his gaze, the same unsureness resting in your look. If you were scared, Neteyam couldn’t tell because you hid it well.

He couldn’t call in his dad because that would just lead this guy right to him. He was out of any good options.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

“All you have to do is tell me where your dad is and no one will get hurt.” Neteyam thought of an idea.

He slowly raised his hands in means of surrender. The guy looked at him, curious. Neteyam set his knife down by his feet and then slowly moved his hands to where his transmitter sat on his neck.

He pushed into the buttons and began speaking in Na’vi since these guys clearly didn’t understand it as well as he could speak it.

(Let’s pretend this is Na’vi because I can’t translate the entire conversation 😌)

“Dad, we’re under attack, I need help.” Neteyam glanced warily at the man standing before him who watched his moves carefully.

“Neteyam? Where are you?” His dad came into his ear, urgent and worried.

“In the forest where the open clearing is. Avatar men with guns. We’re surrounded.”

“We? Who is we?”

“Y/n and I. We need your help.” The guy wasn’t exactly picking up on what Neteyam was saying which was good. His plan was working so far.

“Okay, we’re on our way.” And then he was out. Neteyam knew two things after that: one, his father was a much better fighter than these guys were. He was Na’vi, he had years and years to adapt. He could take these guys out easily. Two, his dad wasn’t going to give himself up to this guy and if they could defeat him, it wouldn’t even be in the question.

“He is coming now.” Neteyam spoke in english so the guy understood. He quirked his eyebrow once more, almost surprised.

“Well, that was easier than I thought it would be.” The others chucked around them. Behind his back, Neteyam made a small hand signal to you that he hoped you would understand.

Suddenly, there was a screech. You had bitten the arm that was holding you. Neteyam used that distraction to grab his knife from the ground. He went for the guy’s leg.

You wrestled out of the grasp. The others went for you, but being the skilled warrior you were, it was easy to take them out. You swung your leg around, taking one out with your foot.

Neteyam slashed the leg of the guy and went for his gun. His father had taught him and Lo’ak how to use one, so he knew exactly where to go to blow the amo out of it.

He used his knife to slash another one’s arm. It was pure chaos. Blood sputtered every which direction and the others were trying to fire their guns at you two. You were quicker than them, though. You knocked them from their hands and kicked their legs out.

One particular cut Neteyam made went across the entire face of one of the avatars.

“Quaritch, we need to fall back. We can’t take this many losses right now.” One of them urgently spoke to the one Neteyam slashed the leg of.

“I need Jake Sully. I am not leaving without him.” He argued bitterly.

“We’ll come back when we’re better prepared! At least we know they’re close by.” He seemed to finally give in. He called something Neteyam didn’t understand and all of his accomplices began retreating back into the forest where they had come from.

Relief flooded through Neteyam. They were leaving and the both of you were still safe. However, his relief didn’t last for very long.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

He turned to you, a smile spread across his lips until he saw the way you clutched your stomach. Your hands were trembling as they slowly revealed what was happening. Your knife handle was sticking out and blood was dripping from your skin.

There wasn’t a smile on his face anymore. His relief disappeared and was quickly replaced by fear.

“Neteyam..” You sputtered, swaying on your feet. He was quick to catch you before you hit the ground.

“No, no, no, no, Y/n. It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. Look at me. Look at me. You’re okay.” He was sputtering, clutching your arm and staring at the way your knife was lodged into your stomach.

“Why am I so warm? Is it warm?” Your entire face was losing color by the second. Neteyam, even though he tried not to show it for your sake, was panicking.

“You’re fine. It’s going to be fine. You’re going to be fine. Help is coming. They’re coming to help us.” He knew better than to pull the knife out, but you were practically pouring blood everywhere.

“Am I dying? Is this what it feels like to die?” The blood loss was making you go into shock. Neteyam was cradling your head, trying to stay calm for you and himself.

“No, you are not dying, my love. You are going to be okay. You are not going to die. I will not let you die.” If he had his bow and arrow, maybe he would’ve been able to take down those other guys easier. If he had a better weapon, anything other than a knife then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

You were not dying.

Your breathing started becoming rigid. It was broken into heavy pants and you were sputtering again.

“If-if I don’t..If I don’t make it..Can you-will you take care of them for me?” Your siblings. Neteyam visibly shut his eyes for a moment. How would he explain this to Foana? Who would take care of them if you..no you were not dying.

“Do not say that. You are going to take care of them because you are going to live. My dad is coming. Everything is going to be okay.” It was mostly just so Neteyam would believe himself too. Everything was going to be okay.

His ears twitched and perked up when he heard sounds of ikrans coming. His father’s ikran came into view along with his mother’s. They landed and then rushed to where you two were.

“Dad! Someone put her knife into her. She..she is losing so much blood.” Neteyam’s voice broke that time. He couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“Shit, shit.” Neteyam watched as his dad gently flipped you to your side. Luckily, there was no exit wound, but the blood kept coming.

“I-I do not feel very good. I-I-“ You were heaving at this point. Your eyes were glazing over and your entire skin had gone from a deep blue to an entirely lighter shade.

“Y/n, you need to stay with me. Please, please stay with me.” Neteyam cupped your face, trying to keep your eye contact with him.

“We need to get her to the village. To Max and Norm and Mo’at.” Neytiri had a look of pure horror on her face seeing you like that.

Your eyes couldn’t stay open much longer. The blood loss was becoming fatal. Neteyam began shaking you when he saw your eyelids drift closed.

“Y/n! Y/n!” He was in too much of a panic to even check if you were breathing or not still. He could not lose you. Not now.

“We need to get her to the village, right now. Neteyam! Are you with me?” His father was practically yelling at this point. However, his eldest son fell into what was his own shock.

He did not and could not move seeing your almost lifeless body in front of him. He didn’t process it as his dad lifted you up to his ikran. His mother had to pull him to his feet, trying to snap him back into attention. Nothing worked, though.

All he could think about was you. You, you, you. You were in love. His future woman. His future mate. You were the sister to his siblings. The sister to your siblings. You were their care taker. Who would..who would take care of them now?

He should’ve told you. He should’ve told you the other night on your night ride. It was so close on the tip of his tongue. Why couldn’t he find the courage to tell you then? What if he never got to tell you ever now?

Your body became so lifeless in his arms. Pale skin, gone eyes, blood nearly everywhere. This couldn’t be the end. There was so much life ahead for the two of you. Your future plans. He couldn’t possibly do it all without you.

His mother somehow managed to get him onto her ikran. She flew quickly through the sky after her husband who clutched your body tightly.

When they landed, you were rushed directly to Max and Norm. Mo’at was brought in to give you a heavy sedation medicine so they could pull the knife out without damaging anything serious. It was near chaos. No one but Mo’at was allowed where they were inside the labs.

Neteyam chewed on his bottom lip. Guilt, fear, anger, sadness, everything at once was eating him up inside. He figured he should be the one to tell your siblings what happened, so he did.

Their faces were enough for him to finally break down right in front of them. It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me. It should’ve been me. The phrase repeated in his head like a broken record.

All five of them sat on the ground of your hut hugging one another close. For a moment he hated your parents for not being here in this moment. They had no idea what was happening to their daughter right now.

Neytiri offered their hut to your siblings without hesitation to stay in.

Hours were ticking by it stated to feel like days to Neteyam. There was no word on the progress or your condition. It was merely a waiting game at this point. The knife was lodged deep and you lost a lot of blood.

Everything was perfect until it wasn’t.

Mo’at finally emerged after what seemed like almost six hours where a large group had gathered outside of the lab doors—Neteyam and his family included. All of them deeply concerned about your well-being.

“The knife has been removed. She is stable, but she is sleeping still and will be for a few days.” A tiny bit of relief washed through Neteyam knowing the operation was at least successful.

—

The days went by and you had finally awoken. Once visitors were allowed, your siblings were the first to check on you, of course. Neteyam hung back, a bit anxious and nervous to see you again.

He felt so guilty for what happened. He could not protect you after saying countless times that he would at any given moment. His failure caused him to hang his head low and avoid looking people’s way when he went out.

Kiri, Tuk, and Lo’ak were the next group of visitors. Neteyam still hung back. Maybe it was fear that was holding him back?

Could he possibly look you in the eye again after seeing you with a knife lodged into you? Not really. His fear made him feel upset in a sense. Why could he not face you? You were his love, yet he could not find himself to step foot into the lab.

A few more days passed and eventually the doctors and Mo’at agreed to move you back into your hut for more comfort. Neteyam avoided the entire village that day, in fear that he would see you.

What was wrong with him? One minute he could not stop seeing you and now he was afraid to even make eye contact with you.

It made him feel even more guilty.

One night, he sat outside by one of the drop-off spots. His head pounded and every single thought he ever had was swirling around like a school of fish.

He didn’t feel another presence until he caught sight of his mother sitting down beside him. She had began recognizing his absent behaviors and his avoidant gazes anytime he was around people. She knew how hard this was on her son.

“Have you seen her at all?” She crafted her words gently. Neteyam shook his head.

“I cannot. It pains me and the guilt is eating me alive.” He grabbed his chest like something was actually messing with him in there.

“Well, she is asking for you. She is confused why you have not seen her yet. You should go see her, Neteyam.”

“I can not. Every time I look at her I remember the horrid images of the knife deep in her stomach as the blood seeped through. It was the worst part of everything. I promised her protection and I can not even do that anymore.” He wanted his mother to understand, but he knew she wound not. Not completely, at least.

“Neteyam, this is not your blame. You did everything you could and no one is blaming you. I promise you, son.” Her arm outstretched to bring comfort to her son. She rubbed his back, trying to get him to understand.

“Then why do I feel so, so guilty like it is my fault?” He pleaded for an answer. His mother tried to come up with as best of an answer as she could.

“When you care for someone as deeply as you do, whatever happens to them begins to feel like it is your fault. It is not your fault, though. You take the blame because you think there is no where else to place it. My son, you did everything you could. No one is upset at you or mad or angry. Y/n is not upset with you. Do not think that.” Neteyam’s head hung low.

“I think it will fix a lot of things if you go see her. You will begin to realize this was none of your doing or fault.” Neytiri urged once more and Neteyam knew he couldn’t keep refusing. He had to be mature. He was almost Olo’eyktan and he couldn’t even face his own injured (almost) mate.

“Okay. I will go see her.” Neytiri smiled, giving her son a nod of encouragement.

The Sully boy stood and turned in the direction of your hut. He started bracing himself—for insults? Anger? Sadness? Frustration?

The closer he got to you, the faster his heart would beat against his chest. From inside, he could hear your siblings talking and at times arguing with one another.

He tapped on the wood before pushing aside the flap that covered the inside. Tsanten and Naria looked his way.

“Neteyam! You’re here!” Foana was at his legs, hugging him much like Tuk did. He smiled down at the little girl.

“Hello, Foana. Tsanten. Naria. Ni`awtu.” He bowed before them. Their looks told him they had never been greeted that way before.

In the corner, Neteyam caught sight of your figure. You were sitting upright carving something when you finally noticed his presence in your home.

“Neteyam, hello. Come in, come in.” You urged him in further. He slowly went to you and your siblings filtered themselves out knowing you two probably needed some space.

“You look so much better. How are you feeling?” He questioned taking in your skin that returned to its usual blue shade. You smiled some.

“I am definitely feeling a lot better. How are you?” You took ahold of his hands. The questioned seemed silly to him considering he wasn’t the one who got stabbed.

“I am doing okay. I am not the one who got stabbed, though.” He stifled a small laugh. You rubbed at his fingers and he was just glad to be able to feel your hands in his again, not the lifeless feeling they once were.

“Well, I have not seen you yet, so I was making sure you were okay.” Neteyam grimaced just a bit. He felt guilty for not visiting you sooner, but he just couldn’t bring himself to face you in the state that you were in.

“Yes, I am okay. I am sorry I did not visit you sooner. I..I just felt guilty about all of this and I was being selfish with myself.” His head hung low, ears dropping. You grabbed his chin though, shaking your head.

“There is nothing to feel guilty about, Neteyam. You did everything you could. Eywa gave me life again because she knew my time was not over yet. This was not your fault.” Your words were reassuring. He forced a small smile.

“Plus, you forget how strong I am. I have thick skin. Literally.” You laughed this time. The joke was corny, but it made both of you smile.

You allowed yourself to pull Neteyam closer and he situated himself so his head laid in your lap. He closed his eyes at the feeling of your fingers raking through his braids. It was a familiar feeling he had grown to miss while you were recovering.

“Hey, Y/n?” You turned your attention to the boy in your lap.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” Neteyam’s heart was pounding, nervous for your reaction. He wasn’t sure if that was an Earth phrase you knew or understood, but he hoped it was.

A tiny smile danced on your lips. You caressed his cheek, leaning down to kiss it.

“I love you.”

The rest of the evening was spent wrapped in each other’s arms.

[strniohoeee]

idk what to ask but something super angst enemies to lovers with matt

Disregard(Matt’s Version)

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Matt and Y/N hate each other. However one night at a party things take an ugly turn, and Matt’s there to help her. Feelings are expressed but are these feelings mutual? 🌷

Warning⚠️: None really some guy tries to take advantage of reader.

Song for the imagine: R U Mine?- Arctic Monkeys

And satisfaction feels like a distant memory

And I can’t help myself

All I ever wanna say is “are you mine?”

“You at a party with Matt? How’s that going to work” my friend asked me over the phone laughing

“It’s going to work because I hate him, and I will be far away from him duhh” I said raking through my closet looking for an outfit

“I just don’t know how you can hang out with him and his brothers when yall can’t stand one another” she said

“Well Nicks my friend mostly sadly and Chris is cool, but Matt’s just always there” I said huffing when I couldn’t find the shirt I wanted

“Why don’t you and Nick just hang out” she responded

“I mean we have, but they are always together. I’ve learned to just not acknowledge him” I said laughing

“Man I don’t know how you’ve been sticking it out this long” she said to me

“He was at his worse in high school, so if I got over that I can get over anything” I responded back

“Mmm that’s true he was an annoying little shit” she said giggling

“He really was, and he was such a dick” I said rolling my eyes

“He was, but I’m gonna let you go girl. I know you have to prepare for this party, and I’m about to head out with my man on a date” she said to me

“Alright girl I love you, and have fun I’ll talk to you soon” I responded

“Love you too, and have fun as well” she responded

I hung up and finished looking through my closet for another outfit.

“FINALLYYYY” I said as I found the shirt I’ve been hunting for

To be honest I’m not too sure why my hate for Matt was still there. I’ve been friends with Nick for 5 years now, and although Matt was an asshole in school I couldn’t stop my hate towards him.

He just was always there, and swore he was hot shit. He wanted to be cool and mysterious so badly and it annoyed the shit out of me.

I agreed when Chris called him “tough” because it was true. He acted like this big bad guy, and like he was too good for everybody. Hated it and I hated him

Initially I really liked him, but he destroyed all of that when we were in high school. It haunted me daily…..man fuck Matt

I finished getting ready and decided to Uber over to the triplets house since Nick wanted us to carpool

I headed into their house and walked up to nicks room

“Nickkkk” I said as I walked in and hugged him

“Heyyy” he said pulling away

“Excited for tonight?” I asked him as I sat on his bed

“Very! I haven’t been to a party in a while” he said looking in his closet

“Oh my gosh sameeee” I said

“Should I wear a pink shirt or a black shirt?” He asked

“Mmmmm pink, that color looks good on you” I said back

“I was thinking the same” he said laughing

Suddenly Chris and Matt barged into his room

“YOOO” Chris yelled coming in

“Hey” I said smiling at him

“Stop fucking screaming like a bafoon” Nick said

“Uhhh who brought the negative Nancy” Chris said rolling his eyes

Nick just rolled his eyes at Chris as he finished getting ready in his bathroom

“Nick I have a question” I said getting up

“What’s up?” He asked

“Do you have my perfume I left here a while back” I asked

“Mmm I should, might be in my top drawer” he said

“Yeah you might want to mask that smell” Matt said laughing

“Ew….youre not funny” I said giving him a dirty look

“Yeah and youre ugly” he said making an ugly face

“You act like a two year old” I said not even looking at him

“Alright children enough” Chris said rolling his eyes

“I’m going to wait downstairs, I’m not going to allow Matt to ruin my night” I said after I sprayed myself with perfume and leaving Nicks room

About 10 minutes later they all came down and we decided to head out. Matt drove us to this influencers house who they knew and we headed in

“Alright guys don’t get too wild and try not to fight anyone” Nick said

“Got it” we said laughing

We walked in and started to say hi to the people we knew. I headed into the kitchen to make myself a drink because this was going to be a long night.

I was sitting in the kitchen sipping on my drink while people watching when I saw someone from the corner of my eye.

“Hey” he said, I looked over at him smiling as I swallowed my drink

“Hi” I said properly

“I’m Grey, but most people call me G” he said sticking his hand out for me to shake

“I’m Y/N” I said shaking his hand

“Are you here alone?” He asked as he began to make himself a drink

“Oh no I’m here with some friends, but we branched off” I said to him

“Oh nice yeah I did the same. I think my friends with some girl or some shit” he said shaking his head

“Ahh yes the classic party hook up” I said

“So cliche right” he said laughing

I went to answer but Matt walked into the kitchen clearing his throat and shoving in between us to get a Pepsi

“Oh uh am I interrupting something?” Matt asked looking between Grey and I

“No, go away Matt” I said sighing

“Cant I get a drink?” He said cheering my cup and giving me a shit eating grin

“I’m going to uhhh I’m going to head out” Grey said before walking off

“You fucking dick” I said punching Matt

“I came to get a drink” he said shrugging his shoulders

“You’re such a fucking asshole I hate you” I said finishing my drink and going to make another one

“Not sure why you hate me” he said scoffing

“Tuh- you’re not sure?” I said grabbing a coke to mix with Malibu

“Mmm no not really” he said shaking his head

“Oh well let me jog your memory shall I? You were an absolute piece of shit in high school. You called me every terrible name under the sun. You turned our whole grade against me. Let’s not forget that so-called prank you pulled on me. Calling me telling me you liked me when you knew I liked you asking me out and then telling me it was a joke and that you truly hated me. Oh not to mention you recorded it and sent it to the whole fucking school. You humiliated me in front of everyone” I said mixing my drink

“It wasn’t that serious, you know. I was hanging around asshole guys and I thought it was cool” he said nonchalantly

“You’re still the same way though” I said scoffing

“I’m really not” he said

“You are Matt….you are. I don’t know what I ever did to you, but I know I don’t deserve this shit” I responded

“Oh don’t act innocent you weren’t a saint” he said

“Yeah maybe in high school I got you back a few times but nothing compared to the shit you out, and that was high school were 21 now” I responded

“I have my reasons and you have yours” he said

I looked at him and scoffed…what is he even saying

“Grow up Matt” I said lifting off the counter to walk away

“Right back at you” he said shaking his head

“And stay the fuck out of my way” I said shoving past him

I walked off angrily and decided to look for Grey because I really needed to take my mind off of Matt. He was making my blood boil and my head spin

I saw Grey sitting on a couch scrolling through his phone

“Hey stranger” I said walking up to him

“Oh Heyy Y/N” he said smiling and locking his phone to put it away

“Sorry about that back there he can be a bit annoying” I said sitting next to him

“Ex boyfriend drama?” He asked

“Oh god no. Rival since high school” I said laughing

“Damn since high school” he said

“Yeah” I responded taking a seat next to him

Grey and I had been talking on the couch for a while. His fingers and hands often becoming loose and touching me. Nothing that made me uncomfortable, but it was certainly strange.

Unbeknown to Y/N Matt was watching her and Grey the whole time. He had a weird feeling about him, but couldn’t put his finger on it. He didn’t like that Grey was touching her, but she didn’t seem bothered so he stood back.

“Hey want to head up to a room I can’t really hear you” Grey asked nicely

“Ummm yeah sure” I said

“Nothing weird I promise” he said laughing

“Oh no worries” I said laughing and getting up to follow him

Matt was sitting as he watched them get up and head to the stairs. His ears perking up at this…..something was telling him to follow them.

Slowly Matt got up following behind them at a good distance. Listening in on their convo as best as he could. Didn’t seem strange, but he still wanted to make sure Y/N was okay.

Grey and Y/N had walked into a room shutting the door behind them, and Matt stood a few feet behind. He didn’t want to listen in, but he also wanted to make sure nothing weird was about to go down

“So tell me more about you” Grey said as we both sat on the bed

“Mmm well I’ve been living here for a while now, I’m originally from Boston” I said scanning my brain for more things to say

“Nice nice” he said staring at me

“I’m not sure what else to say” I said giggling

But Grey didn’t say anything he just stared at me….it started to bother me

“Is there something on my face?” I asked getting nervous

“Oh uh no sorry you’re just gorgeous” he said

“Oh thank you” I said looking down

At first coming up here seemed like a good idea, but now I’m worried he got the wrong picture. I did not want anything to do with this man other than a possible friendship. This was started to bug me out

Suddenly he started to lean in, I jumped up

“Oh no no that’s not why I came up here” I said backing away

“Oh? Well then why did you come up here” he asked shocked

“Umm because I thought you wanted to hear me better not try to kiss me” I said looking at him weirdly

“Well one kiss wouldn’t hurt” he said getting up

“No I’m good” I said nodding my head at him

“Just one come on” he said in a sleazy way

“And I said no. No is a full sentence” I said getting upset

“Stop being a tease already” he said

“I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but I do not want to kiss you” I said

He came closer and I backed away banging into a table against the wall

“Back away” I said

On the other side Matt heard the muffled conversations and the scuffling going on between two people, but he didn’t know what was going on.

“Please stop” I said pushing him off of me as we struggled against the table causing some things to fall

“Come on baby” he said getting upset

“FUCK OFF” I yelled pushing him off and grabbing the front door

My eyes surprised me when I made eye contact with Matt who was standing infront of the door

“Matt?” I asked confused

“What’s going on?” He said looking behind me into the room

“Nothing” I said pushing him back trying to get him to leave

“Your little bitch is a tease” Grey said to Matt

“She’s not a bitch, and if she said no then it’s no” Matt said looking the dude up and down

“She doesn’t want you either, so don’t try to be Superman” he said scoffing

“Fuck you. I’m being a decent human being respect her” Matt said

“What are you going to do about huh?” He said laughing at Matt

“Come on stop” I said trying to pull Matt away

“No” he said pushing my hand away

“You’re a piece of shit” Matt said walking towards Grey

“Don’t care” he said still laughing

Matt looked at him before punching him in the jaw

“MATT WHAT THE FUCK” I yelled out

They both started to scuffle around throwing punches

“Stop it” I said trying to pull Matt away

Matt hit the guy again in the nose causing him to stumble backwards

“When a woman tells you no that means no” he said backing away from Grey

“Matt we have to go now” I said pulling him away

Matt and I ran down the stairs and to his car

“Are you okay?” He asked me as we got in the car

“Yeah I’m fine” I said bluntly

“What a sick fuck” he said turning his car on

“Why do you care?” I asked

“Well I got a bad vibe from him okay, and I just didn’t want you to get hurt” he said as he pulled off

“Matt caring about me” I asked

“I don’t care about you…..I just didn’t want some creep to take advantage” he said scoffing

“Mm don’t care about me sureeeee” I said sitting back in my chair

“I don’t fucking like you okay Y/N” he said getting upset

“Feelings mutual I could’ve handled my own” I said

“Didn’t seem like it” he said

“I had it” I said getting upset with him

“You’re so stubborn” he said

“And so are you” I said

“Just stop okay” he said gripping the steering wheel tighter

“Stop what? Just take me home and shut up” I said rolling my eyes

“You’re such a bitch I try and help you and this is what I get” he said

“Stop the car” I said bluntly

“No” he said

“Matthew stop the fucking car now” I said

Matt looked over at me and pulled over. I hopped out and began to walk

“What the fuck are you doing?” He asked

“Shut the fuck up” I said continuing to walk

Matt hopped out the car following behind me

“Get in the car now” he said sternly

“You’re not my dad, go away” I said shooing him

“I’m not asking you again. Get in the car now” he said trailing closer to me

“GO AWAY” I yelled at him

Matt ran a little faster and grabbed my arm pulling me to turn around

“IM NOT LEAVING YOU HERE STOP BEING STUBBORN AND GET IN THE CAR” he yelled at me

“Let go of me” I said pulling my arm away from him harshly

“Get in the car. I know you hate me. I get that, but get in the car. I’ll take you home and I’ll never bother you again” he said

“Matt no I’m not going anywhere with you” I said

“Stop being so stubborn holy shit” he said pulling at his hair

“No one told you to save me, no one told you to take me home and no one told you to follow me out here. You don’t like me so go away” I said turning around to keep walking

“Yeah I don’t like you because…..because I love you” he said

I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned around to face him

“What?” I asked

“I love you okay” he said shaking his head

“No no you’re not doing this. After all these years of being a piece of shit you’re not about to pull this I love you card” I said pointing at him

“I’ve been a horrible person I know, but I truly didn’t know how to express myself. And i know these words probably mean nothing. But I want you to know I can’t do this anymore. I can’t hide my true feelings by pretending to be mean to you. When I saw you and that guy I got so jealous because that….that should be me” he said

“I don’t know what to say to you” I said shaking my head

“That’s okay. Just get back in the car, let me take you home. And you don’t have to see me ever again” he responded

“Matt I… I don’t know what to say because I love you too. I have loved you since high school, and I masked these feelings with hatred because it was the easiest thing to do” I said

“I’m sorry, okay. I never meant to hurt you the way I did” he said

“I don’t know if I can accept that apology right now. You hurt me badly” I told him

“I get that, but just let me take you home and we can talk about it tomorrow” he said

“Ok” I responded in a whisper

I got back into Matt’s car and he drove me home. The whole ride was silent. My thoughts racing in my head about what he told me….did he really love me?

Matt got to my apartment complex and walked me to my apartment door

“Thanks Matt” I said looking at him

“Oh yeah no worries can’t have you walking alone at night” he said

“No. I mean for everything tonight thank you” I said smiling

“Oh yeah. Of course” he said smiling back

“Ummm I really like you, and you did hurt me, but I want to work this out” I said

“Yeah yeah I do too” he said looking at my eyes

“Well goodnight Matt” I responded opening my door

“Can I have a hug?” He asked shyly

I smiled at this and pulled him in for a hug, kissing him on the cheek

“I appreciate you truly for tonight” I said smiling weakly

He nodded his head at me

“I’ll call” he said

“I’ll answer” I responded

And with that I walked into my apartment locking the door behind me.

Matt drove back to pick up his brothers. Once he was home he laid in bed smiling to himself.

I can’t wait to hear her voice again.

The End

I hope you enjoyed this one I love yall sooo much omgg🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[stalkiwi]

Something I find myself wondering a lot is; is it ok to mischaracterize a character from a media?

I am of the opinion "everyone can have the views and headcanons they want on a character", after all, this is harmless, and most people use it as a coping mechanism or for projection. We, other users, don't have to agree with these takes, and can simply ignore it. Ideally, this is how things should be.

But, is there a point where it would go too far?

Let's say: you're not a content creator, you don't know art or don't feel like you can write a piece of fanfiction well enough. But you are really fan of a character, and you wish to find other people to discuss with about them. However, this character is fairly impopular, may it be because of their poor on-screen time or because they are barely relevant to the story. As a result, a lot of people in the fandom are unfamiliar with the character, outside of really surface knowledge.

As you do your desperate search on this character, thirsty for content, you discover a popular artist or writer, who do in fact, make content of this character! ...But you realize that the content they make is really different from the view you had on the character. Heavy headcanons, projections, out of characters memes, biased takes... You clearly don't recognize the character you love and tried to hard to study and understand in the most objective way.

But, this is a popular person - their influence on the fandom is hard to deny. Many of their followers, many which never cared enough of the character, base their opinions on what this content creator spreads. As a result, they end up loving this new, out of character version, and even make content of them, following the headcanons and version of this popular user.

You feel alone. A large majority of the fandom sees the character you love in a false, different version. You can't have a conversation about this character, because you quickly realize that the people you talk to don't understand the character and simply spit back what they learned from the popular views. When you try to share what you believe is objectively the character for what they are, people frown at you. "If you don't like it, then ignore it!", or even worse, they will argue that the version of the fandom is the correct one. You may try to bring proofs from the text, screenshot evidence, you will be seen as evil for trying to "break" their headcanons and not letting them do whatever. You just feel horrible, like you are the one in the wrong, the 'evil' one. You can't create content of your own views, you can't make a fanbase and hope to share this version you love. You may find one or two person who agrees with you, but they are often out of your reach, maybe they don't speak your language and you struggle to communicate with them.

You can't share what you love, because you feel like you're the different one around - maybe even that you're bothering, annoying, just trying to "force your headcanons" into people.

When this happen, can we really say mischaracterization is alright?

I wonder what could be done for such cases to not happen. Outside of reading comprehension, maybe we should be self aware that we are out of character, maybe we should promote other people's opinions rather than try to ignore them or invalidate them. Maybe it's better to say, "my view on this character may be biased, because I tend to project a lot and see them as a comfort character, so please don't use me as a base to build your own beliefs". Maybe, instead of saying "I hate when people think this of that character", we should say "I see people having this opinion on that character, and I see where they come from - it's genuinely good that people can find comfort in the character and love them as much as I do, no matter how different it might be."

Fandoms and other large communities are really difficult to communicate with, myself I tend to despite the "fandom view", the general opinions on characters. I wish more people could understand what the author(s) tried to communicate with the character, and not deny it. If you want a character that fits what you want, why take an already existing one and alter it, when you can build your own?

I can't stop people, I am powerless to do so. I don't want to, to be clear. It's really heavy on my mind, because I genuinely wish I could find more people like me, who agrees with me, with who I can share my ideas. I am lucky to be an artist and a writer, because I can build a fanbase around my views. I wish it was as easy for everyone, though

We should start to give more respect to the different opinions, or accept that ours is not necessarily the closest one to the canon, no matter how much we may be convinced it is.

[linkspooky]

Hiii spooky I how have you been enjoying season 2 so far? After seeing the characters being brought to life I’ve realised one thing and that is that Suguru is really hard for me to grasp and I don’t know how to portray him. On one hand he seems dark and brooding and serious but then he’s also goofy and deeply caring and he’s not ashamed to show it. He has lots of soft smile but then we see him smile like 😊 that when Riko manages to annoy him. He seems to have so many facets in a way that other characters just don’t…? and maybe in theory his behaviour and parts of his personality seem contradictory, but it doesn’t actually feel like it is?? because he doesn’t really put on any mask, at least his teen self doesn’t, and you can kinda tell what he’s feeling… he’s not as loud as Gojo, he doesn’t really express himself verbally, but to me he’s still more open than him. You can see his emotions on his face or in his body language because he doesn’t really try to hide them, whereas Gojo as loud and expressive as he is.. I often find myself struggling to tell what exactly he’s feeling.

I’ve also seen many people portray Geto as “nice and polite but that’s just for appearances and he’s actually bad and cruel” which feels like a pretty flat interpretation of him… I’m really struggling as you can tell I think I might be missing the point entirely lol I just wanted to know your thoughts on it.

Hello, anon! Thank you for the opportunity to talk about Geto! You are correct in that he's a far more nuanced character than a lot of people give him credit for. The popular fandom belief is that Geto was lying about his ideals all along, but I think it's the opposite. Rather than a liar, Geto's real problem is that he's true to himself to a fault. I'll address your ask and talk more about this under the cut.

Fandom Geto

I’ve also seen many people portray Geto as “nice and polite but that’s just for appearances and he’s actually bad and cruel” which feels like a pretty flat interpretation of him… I’m really struggling as you can tell I think I might be missing the point entirely lol

In my opinion the fandom in general tends to flatten Geto's character for two reasons, number one they want to make Geto look worse to make Gojo look better by comparison. The second and more relevant is that they want to otherize Geto because his beliefs are so extreme. That someone who can slaughter people on that large of a scale must have been cruel to begin with, a normal person, especially a good one isn't capable of that.

Which I think misses the point. Geto wasn't shown as someone with cruel tendencies to begin with, the entire hidden inventory arc showed how much it took him to be pushed off the edge like that, with factors like trauma, witnessing the deaths of sorcerers his age, and the jaded adults around him who made no real attempts to reach out to him and help him in time all contributing factors to his downfall.

"An endless cycle of exorcism and consumption. Exorcise. Consume. It's a taste that nobody knows. The taste of a curse. Like ingesting a rag used to wipe up vomit. Exorcise. Consume. For whom? Ever since that day... it's been running through my head."

What makes this monologue so effective is it summarizes a year of Geto constantly questioning himself as his mental state deteriorates. I do believe Geto always looked down on the weak, but he did it the same way that Gojo did. He separated himself in a different category from others, both Gojo and Geto believed that they were on the side of the "strong" and that put them above others. It's just on top of that Geto believed that standing above others came with the obligation to protect them, and that was the part that came into question.

However, if he believed weak people were "monkeys" from the start, if his desire to protect them was a false belief than he wouldn't have taken an entire year of spiraling before he snapped. The manga wouldn't put such intense focus on #1 Geto's internal world, and #2 Geto struggling with trying to figure out what his ideals and beliefs really are if he was just hiding a darker and crueler set of beliefs.

For example, we have Maki a character who five minutes after the death of Mai decides to massacre the entire Zen'in Clan even the members who had absolutely nothing to do with it, as opposed to Geto who wrestled with the idea of it for a year, and Maki doesn't get the same accusation from the fandom of being cruel and violent all along. Geto's a character of internal struggle. His righteous nature is what led him astray. Not because he was lying to himself, but because he was trying to find what the right thing to do was. It's just his idea of right and wrong got eschew because of the incredibly grey and myopic nature of the Jujutsu World.

Geto's True Feelings

He seems to have so many facets in a way that other characters just don’t…? and maybe in theory his behaviour and parts of his personality seem contradictory, but it doesn’t actually feel like it is?? because he doesn’t really put on any mask, at least his teen self doesn’t, and you can kinda tell what he’s feeling…

I agree with your assesment that Geto is a character that's true to himself rather than a character that's putting up a false front. Geto is a character that contradicts himself a lot, one example is pointed out to us by Gojo. That he justifies his slaughter of non-sorcers for a bigger goal of creating a world without curses, and yet Geto himself isn't strong enough to actually make that ideal a reality. There's basically no scenario where he could have won, like theoretically maybe Gojo could have done it, but killing every single human being was just impossible for Geto.

Which is where we get to the point that Geto is twisting logic around to justify himself and his slaughter of innocents, but at the same time the Jujutsu Kaisen light novel adaptation of JJK0 says this isn't a lie, but rather Geto's attempt to remain true to himself.

To live for the purpose of being yourself. And for that goal, Geto could only continue to pursue his twisted dream, drowning himself in a curse that lies in the gap between ideal and reality. This was the final confession of a man who could only choose to wrap himself, who had erased himself in pursuit of his goals.

The gap between ideal and reality is a pretty significant phrase for describing Geto, because part of what broke Geto is he sees the world as how it should be, rather than how it is. Geto's failure is in part a failure to adapt when he sees the darker side of the world after Riko's murder.

In my opinion the animated version of this scene is far better than that of the manga. In the anime it shows Geto staring at the crowd joyously celebrating Riko's death who are all complicit in it while he tries to list off reasons why they don't need to take vigilante justice out on the crowd, beause there are systems in place that will punish these people on their own.

Geto is trying desperately to convince himself that these people will see justice, because the world is a fair place. All the while Gojo just walks away, because Geto's answer "There's no meaning in that" is a good enough answer for him. Geto desperately needs to search for a reason and convince himself that what they're doing is the right thing, whereas Gojo doesn't really share Geto's habit of questioning the world around him.

This moment reminds me of a quote of Megumi's at the beginning of the manga "Karma doesn't happen on its own" he later goes on to describe how the justice system and jujustu sorcerers are systems set in place to try to make the world a fairer place. Geto wants to believe that too, even when he's shown direct evidence that Jujutsu Society isn't idealistic at all.

Which, Gojo doesn't really question the society around him until after Geto's defection. He doesn't see a problem because Gojo is the perfectly fit cog, he's born into this society and he's the best at what he does. I think one important thing is that Gojo is the chosen one of the Gojo clan one of the three major houses. The golden child. Whereas Geto who is someone just as gifted as Gojo for the most part, has non-sorcerer parents and therefore was born outside of their society. Which it makes sense why he'd have more of an outsider's point of view, whereas Gojo can accept these things for a long time because that's just how they are, he grew up with this.

Geto's not lying to himself about his beliefs, rather he witnesses the world is not as just as he thought it was, and then struggles between two really opposite beliefs. Which is something Yuki Tsukumo pointed out to him.

Yuki: Do you hate non-jujutsu sorcerers? Geto? Geto: I don't know...I used to think Jujutsu Sorcerers existed to protect non-sorcerers, but recently I've been doubting whether or not non-sorcerers are worth fighting for... [insert monologue here] I don't know which are my true feelings. Yuki: Neither is. You're not at that stage yet. Looking down on non-sorcerers, resisting that feeling...those are just possibilities you've tought of. Whatever your true feeling is, you still have to decide.

If Geto wanted to slaughter non-sorcerers from the beginning it wouldn't be a deliberation for him. He wouldn't be arguing himself and trying to justify himself for over a year. Geto is basically caught between ideals and reality. The ideal is that his work as a sorcerer to protect people is good and making the world a fairer place. He wants to believe that there is meaning behind his work, that he's doing the right thing. The reality he's faced with is the senseless slaughter of people like Haibara. The idea that he is just a cog in the machine that will continually sacrifice more and more sorcerers. That therefore their sacrifice is not making the world a better place, and not justified. He can't face the reality that he and his friends are expendable... and really, who can?

"If being a Jujutsu Sorcerer is like running a marathon... what if what's at the end of that road is a mountain of our fellow sorcerer's dead corpses?"

Ironically, it's Geto's search for the right thing that leads him astray. He becomes unable to see any point in the continual sacrifices the strong sorcerers have to make for what he views as the ungrateful weak non-sorcerers. I don't think he believed that from the beginning though, because as you pointed out above his interactions with both Kuroi and Riko who are non-sorcerers shows a lot of care for their emotions and well-being. If he never cared about non-sorcerers, than he wouldn't have reacted as badly to Riko's death as he did.

he doesn’t really put on any mask, at least his teen self doesn’t, and you can kinda tell what he’s feeling… he’s not as loud as Gojo, he doesn’t really express himself verbally, but to me he’s still more open than him. You can see his emotions on his face or in his body language because he doesn’t really try to hide them, whereas Gojo as loud and expressive as he is.. I often find myself struggling to tell what exactly he’s feeling.

Gojo and Geto are foils and inversions to one another, so I agree with what you stated that while Gojo is loud his true feelings tend to be more concealed whereas Geto for the most part makes his care and concern demonstrably known in the first few chapters of hidden inventory.

There's the famous "Geto and Gojo both make fun of Utahime for being weak in different ways" that a lot of people cite as evidence for the fact Geto looked down on weak people all along, but as I stated above his way of looking down on them is he saw them as a seperate category than himself a strong person. However, I don't think that means his attempts at taking care of Riko are insincere.

Gojo and Geto are both shown as looking out for Riko, Geto does it in more obvious ways and Goo does it in more subtle ways, but that just shows the difference in their personality. Gojo is rude and obnoxious on the surface, but thoughtful on the inside. Whereas Geto true to his nature makes an effort to be considerate and look out for people. One of the reasons I put the conversation between Gojo and Geto as the banner image for this post is because it shows Geto's naturally considerate personality, going out of his way to ask if he's okay. Geto is direct. There's a mirror scene to that later where Gojo notices Geto has lost weight, showing he does in fact get a grasp that something is wrong with Geto, but chooses an indirect approach of asking for it.

Geto goes out of his way to give Riko more free time and time to spend with her friends even though it makes the mission more inconvenient because he recognizes these are her last few days on earth. It's Geto who notices that Kuroi is essentially family to Riko.

When Kuroi is kidnapped, Geto is deeply troubled by his failure and blames himself. Geto shows his concern in a direct way being troubled by Kuroi's disappearance, whereas Gojo shows his concern in an indirect way, setting up a kind of sink-or-swim test for Riko where he tells her she can only come with if she's ready to face the fact that Kuroi might be dead and she can't back out halfway through. All as a test of her resolve. They both care and have different ways of showing it.

Gojo shows his concern for Riko by insisting they stay another day for her sake, and Geto only argues against it because he's worried Gojo is pushing himself too much with his use of the limitless. Geto's visibly happy to see both Gojo and Riko enjoying thmeselves and views the scene with a soft smile. He reassures Kuroi not to worry about letting herself get kindapped because they handled it just fine.

They both cared about Riko, they both agreed to help her quit the merger. Geto's desire to protect her is one hundred percent sincere, this is when he still believes in his ideal of protecting the weak, and he's following that ideal through. That's why his way of reassuring her is saying "we're the strongest" because that's how the world is supposed to work in his ideals. The strong protect the weak, and if you're the strongest you should have no trouble protecting others.

When both the world and Geto fail to live up to that promise that's where he begins to question himself. Which is where I want to get to one of the major differences between Gojo and Geto. All centering around Geto's final words.

"In a world like this, I couldn't be truly happy from the bottom of my heart..."

There's a scene someone pointed out to me in a twitter thread at the end of the Shibuya arc where Nanami contemplates retiring to Malaysia just as he dies doing his job and fighting against many cursed spirits and then is executed by Mahito. All because he chose to stay and fight until the last minute. At the end of the arc, we see Mei Mei fled the battle half way through and is now comfortably sitting in a hotel room in Malaysia. Mei Mei is someone who is implied to abuse her younger brother, whereas Nanami is someone who stated it's the duty of adult sorcerers to protect children and goes out of his way to do that for Yuji.

One of them lives because she is selfish, and even an abuser, the other dies. The first is the kind of person that benefits from the corruption of Jujutsu Society, the second is swallowed up from it.

The line Geto couldn't be truly happy from the bottom of his heart also refers to this fact, Geto just couldn't cope with the reality of Jujutsu Society because it's an increidbly myopic and cynical place where the people who get ahead are selfish people who simply don't care about others and frequently use and abuse others to get ahead, and the ones who get swallowed up are people with good intentions like Nanami. This is the world he can't cope with. He's fundamentally incompatible with Jujutsu Society and driven out of it because he wants to do the right thing, not because he was evil to begin with.

Whereas Gojo also sees Jujutsu Soceity as something rotten don't make any mistake, but he's also someone who is able to function in Jujutsu Society much better that Geto because he was born inside of it. Geto is driven out and Gojo seeks reform from the inside because he's like the ideal of jujutsu society, and he was born to be. He's selfish, and egotistical, and he's so strong he can bully the elders and throw his weight around. Of course Gojo doesn't really abuse his power, that's what makes him so interesting a character, he has all this power and for the most part uses it responsibly to exorcise curses for the good of society rather than abuse it for his own sake.

However, he can stay within that society because he's used to it, a lot of things about that society he accepted how they were for a long time until he saw the toll it took on Geto. Gojo is the ideal of Jujutsu Society, he's held up as the model sorcerer of the corrupted society so it takes him a long time to spot where that corruption is. When he does he also wants to do something about it like Geto does, but he takes it in a more measured way he's not driven out because he's intrinsically a part of that society.

Whereas for Geto he's just one hundred percent incompatible with Jujutsu Society as a whole, one because his idealistic nature just doesn't mix well with a dog-eat-dog cynical society where everyone is out for their own gain and people like Mei Mei climb to the top. Number two, Geto himself has a very uncompromising nature. He's sincere to a fault. He doesn't really deal well with moral greys. He can only exist in a black and white world where he has clearly defined goals of good and evil, he just sort of flips white for black, and black for white.

Thus Gojo is much better at coping with that society as a whole and trying to find a way to work inside the system, but also to begin with he's not someone who naturally questions things the same way that Geto does. In fact in general I would say another point of foiling between them is as you pointed out, Geto is someone far more true to himself not wearing any masks, whereas Gojo's loud personality is a mask. We are privy to Geto's thoughts and his internal world, we basically spend the entire hidden inventory arc inside of his head. Whereas with Gojo he is so distanced from his own emotions oftentimes the audience themselves don't get to see what they really feel and are left guessing. Even the people around Gojo aren't really aware of what his real feelings are, his students and all his coworkers basically just summarize him as "he's the strongest."

Geto basically drowns inside his own head trying to figure out what his true emotions are, whereas Gojo is someone so distanced from what he really feels he's completely alienated himself from the people around him. Hence why Shoko can say stuff like "damnit, I've been right here all along for eleven years idiot" while Gojo monologues about how alone he is in front of her.

Which is what really makes them such good character foils. It's not one is good, one is bad, one is a liar, one is telling the truth, they're actually just both idiots.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Non BL Fan watches Only Friends

Hey. Yeah so I'm still on this. So when Only Friends ended, it left kinda of a bitter taste in my mouth. I liked a lot of things about it but by the end it really didn’t leave a good impression. There’s been a lot written about it, about expectations, and branded pairs, and how fandom may have played a role in this, and how the writing maybe because of that kinda took a turn midway through the show. And it kept bugging me that these opinions were also rooted in our understanding of this type of media, and everything that comes with it. Be it branded pairs, all the bls that came before or the industry as a whole. But I couldn't really have any perspective because I'm part of the problem. I'm too close. So, the only way for me to kinda get over this was to get someone far removed from this to watch it. And here is where my friend Neely comes in. They're not a bl watcher. The only bl they ever watched was Choco Milk Shake which I think we can all agree would not influence their viewing of Only Friends. They are however the only person who I talk to about bl, or the only person who has the patience to listen to me, whenever I’m feeling particularly annoyed about something or just wanna share a good moment. I immediately sent them the olive oil scene (with only a tiny bit of context) because it was so beautiful that I needed to scream with someone about it. So anyway, I asked them to watch the show. They knew a couple of things about it, because I complained to them about it at the time, but they has no reference for it so, I don’t think that I influenced the viewing that much. Also they're pretty unbiased about everything.

So last night they watched the first 4 episodes and I’d like to share their thoughts with everyone who like me might be curious. Because they're the best person ever, he wrote a whole text about it so I could share. Also we're almost at the end of the year and this might be the thing that finally closes this chapter for me. This is what they had to say after watching the first 4 episodes.

(I'll be adding my own thoughts in purple)

After 4 episodes, mostly I think it's really predictable plot wise for anyone who's watched a general TV western series, like a Netflix production, which I was maybe surprised. The ways to cause drama and plot advancement are very similar. Of cpurse this is me saying this based on the other BL I watched (Choco Milk Shake) which felt much more out of the expected canon.

Just to get this out of the way: they're all toxic and terrible people, to the extent I find it very hard to connect to any of them. Just in the exposure parts of ep1 there's all of them being horrible to Ray for being drunk – even though they also are? - and to top it up later on they're all drunk, and the woman (sorry I should know her name but it's not like they're giving her any storyline or screen time (aside from, I almost forgot, randomly spraining her ankle 😂) for me to remember) I thought that the fact that this was obvious to them from the beginning was very interesting because I maybe gave them more rope in the beginning to expand on her because I thought she was gonna get more later. she's even drunker it seems but they all fall on Ray only; they literally complain he wants another drink and judgementally go "ewww more drinks don't you think it's enough" and dig into his drinking, he leaves, and then they continue drinking? This got even darker to me when the suicide attempt is revealed, and from then it became really hard to consider them friends? Maybe Mew and Ray but the dynamics of that are anyway weird. This is something I myself struggled with all through the show, like how are these people even friends? and I understand the point illustrated by @bengiyo in this post but I still couldn’t get over that. And maybe that’s just the way I see friendships that these people looked even worse in my eyes. Like I cannot compute them treating Ray like that, even if they're done of his drinking, when they know where he's at emotionally. It also doesn't feel they ever tried to help him so I don't think they have the right to be done, just feels like they don't care.

Top, toxic from day one with this challenge attitude towards fucking the virgin; and the gross way he speaks about it with Boston. It's a big no from me to both of them. It's not even them hooking up for me, Top is just kinda sleazy, manipulative, hyper entitled, I do not take anything he says as truth because he just feels so double faced to me. Even just these episodes he's already shown so many cracks: hiding the hook up with Boston (which I'm beginning to feel was more than a hook up?), the whole random drug dealing thing, how he objectifies Mew like a virgin-trophy when talking to Boston, how he manipulates him and also his weird jealousy and control. Ok, this is where I admit I was completely wrong. I thought that way of seeing Top was very influenced by the promotional material and the way the crew and actors talked about the character. And yet, without any prior knowledge he immediately disliked him. I was not expecting that to be honest. And in this case maybe I just wanted the character to go in a different direction so I kept not seeing the pretty obvious red flags. I mean I saw them but tried really hard to look behind them. My bad. Although we could both agree that he’s gorgeous.

I don't like Mew, but I don't think it's the characters fault or how it's written. It's just the troupe of character writing, especially in gay shows, that I can't stand. It's kinda cancer vibes (astrology lol). A bit not necessarily overt but a general sense of holier than thou cause he's a virgin and "has standards". I don't think he's leading Ray on, I think he actually kinda communicates well he just wants friendship. He could be clearer but also this is TV, so we need slight unclearness for drama purposes lol, but I'm not mad about that. Miss communication is the bane of my existence but it apparently makes for compelling television. Or not.

But generally this hot fuck everyone guy falling for the kinda dorky virgin is so dull to me, this virgin is always this weird insert of purity, more often than not an insert where the writer in one way or another projects himself into, to be able to judge the rest of the community, the moral compass (read: normative in terms of society expectations, also kinda mildly Christian coded, like girl next door in the village), and I do always find it a bit queerphobic. I'm not saying there aren't queers like that and that they shouldn't be represented, but the very intense and obvious writing decisions to position him as this moral center (also visually he's always wearing whites and pastels? Virgin mew, Virgin Mary! Lol) that makes all the other characters, often queer, seem kinda dirty and mean and unprincipled. I have nothing to add here because I agree with them on most of this, and I also think that it was never a coincidence to have a virgin in the middle of this group, to serve as the barometer of right and wrong. Cause he's the pure one so he must know what's right. I disliked mew almost instantly when the show started, because I always thought he was just a terrible friend and that’s the greatest sin of all. A small note that I think it's hilariously dumb that he's been protecting his Virginity for all this time and so like "omg it's hard for me, omg I go slow, omg I have a check list" and then it's like "you drop coke I drop pants", virginity done lol. This was just funny and accurate.

I am not talking about Boston right now cause I hate him. And I also hate that they wrote the slut in such a cliche but I do think they did. I remember you saying something people attacking him too much and him being slut-shamed, but he's written as villain quite clearly. Lol I think he's leading mobile phone shop guy on, it's very player manipulation vibe to be always giving him just a bit more to keep him going and the promise of something more open, when we know he just wants to fuck, and especially fuck when he's butt hurt about Top and Mew. And the way he's treating Mew, terrible friend; and also the advances on Top are far from boundary and consent-based lol. But also Top doesn't feel very interested in getting out, he just weirdly stands there silent being licked in the neck, so I blame both on that whole thing. I have to say that I never really read the shower scene like others might have, like obviously Boston was being terrible to Mew in that moment and not respecting Top's boundaries, but I also didn't see Top as helpless in this moment.

I think the only pair that gets away with actually being cute and not toxic and manipulative is Sand and Ray, they're my faves. Yey!! I find them very endearing and with so much chemistry. They're the only characters who honestly genuinely said sorry to each other and had some accountability when they fucked up with each other.

Even tho I'd like a bit more from Sand about the whole "burden to society" comments at the start - they annoyed me so much. The others it's manipulation after manipulation for me, and it doesn't allow me to get into them so it feels like deep lack of chemistry. Top and Mew's relationship feels really really really meh to me. And I don't know why they're friends, also cause very little of them as friends gets shown after ep1. Well they have the school project that keeps them together but other than that really, why? As I explained above I really struggled with the friendship aspect of all this.

But generally, I feel like the editing and writing are very like Mew is amazing and the others are horrible, and we do just get scenes of everyone being shit and Mew not being great but being naive and cutesy with a hint of superiority. Also you're a virgin your not a thumb stone, give your boyfriend a kiss sometimes. I thought this comment was hilarious but also obviously from a non bl watcher because that didn’t register to me, because I’m so used to boyfriends being so shy around kissing in bl that it didn't even cross my mind.

I think I'm slightly meh by all of them but partly is maybe my expectations too - I knew this one specifically was a bit westernized, but I was nurturing this little idea that it would feel a bit different, that some of the ways things were explored would feel different because of the cultural differences, but I do think you could sub all of the actors for white us-americans and the script would fly, you could probably even set it in a progressive state in the us and wouldn't have to re-write much.

So, I might totally be talking out of my ass, but what I'm left thinking is: is there really no culturally specificity to queer community there? is really all queerness and promiscuity in Thailand this performance of the west? Maybe it is, because of different social rules and expectations and freedoms, I really am not knowledgeable enough, but I'm just wondering if it's that or if it's just being made to be more palatable to me. And I think that's fine as a choice for them to know target audience, but I'm left wondering how the actual scene is in Thailand, what the social pressures are there and how they navigate them, specifically at this nexus of queerness and promiscuity. I also don’t know enough about the culture in Thailand to speak about it but I do agree with the point that this show could be made in us tv and they really wouldn’t need to change much. Without knowing anything about the creators of ofts, aside from the fact that they’re queer, they said later that they would compare it to something that Ryan Murphy could produce.

_

After I read this I had a chance to video chat with them briefly , and there were a couple more things that came up that I thought were really interesting. they were asking me about the actors and how well known they were, etc. Because they thought that the characters were purposefully being shown as really flat, and just bad with no redeemable characteristics and that maybe because the fandom already knew them and already liked them, they could do that without needing to waste time making us care for them, by giving us their good sides. Which I never really considered, but as with most things, our prior knowledge might play a part in this too. I know at least for me, I'm not gonna lie, the fact that I like Khaotung definitely made me care for Ray from the start in a way that maybe I wouldn't normally have.

Anyway, they'll continue to watch it and I'll probably post more of thoughts in the future. I also started to rewatch it slowly so I'll definitely keep thinking about this. If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. 💜

[moonlightspencie]

do you still hope?

Part 3 of ‘a life where we work out’

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: hm. this is an ending for sure

————————— -> READER’s POV <- —————————

I looked over my shoulder, staring in the direction of the bathroom. It had been an unusually long time since Dean had gone in. Even for him.

I checked my watch again. 17 minutes had passed so far.

I turned back to the table, sipping on my water now that all of the other dishes had been cleared away. I let out a harsh sigh, drawing Sam’s attention away from his laptop. He glanced over at me in question.

“It’s been nearly twenty minutes,” I said, trying to sound more annoyed that concerned. “We’re trying to save lives, and he’s locked in the bathroom.”

“Do you want me to go check on him?”

I looked at Sam who stared back with an almost amused look on his face. I shrugged at first, ignoring the nagging feeling in my body that wanted to be sure he was okay. Finally, I nodded.

“You probably should. I don’t want to be stuck in this town any longer than I need to be.”

He agreed, and both of us slid out of the booth. I sat back down as he started towards the bathrooms.

What if he couldn’t bring himself to be around me? Worse, what if he left?

No, he wouldn’t leave Sam.

Unless he did.

I fiddled with my hands on the tabletop, trying not to think about it. Until, Sam came back with a worried look on his face.

“What is it?”

He threw some bills down on the table.

“We’ve got to go. Dean’s gone.”

We jumped into my vehicle after a minute of deliberation. I tried justifying that he probably just needed to blow off some steam, but Sam made a great point that he’d likely at least take Baby. It was muggy out, and he wouldn’t be caught dead walking around in this for fun.

“Where do we go?” I asked, trying to stay calm.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you think it was the djinn?”

“Could be,” Sam nodded, pulling up the GPS.

It directed us towards where we’d all suspected it to be. I just hoped that this was the right place. Even more, I hoped that Dean had left of his own accord and we wouldn’t find him there at all. It was a significantly less likely outcome, though.

Everything was a blur as we let routine carry our actions.

We parked. Grabbed the knife dipped in blood. Double checked that our guns were loaded. Walked towards the building.

I didn’t allow myself to think past the present moment. One foot in front of the other.

We burst through the door, searching for any signs of life in the dingy old building. We had split up to cover more ground, though it was hardly necessary when I let out a loud gasp.

“Dean,” I mumbled, mostly to myself as I approached.

He was a little worse for wear, but in much better condition than I’d expected.

Sam came rushing over, though everything was still a blur to me except for the man in front of me. I knew he’d helped someone else down from the restraints they were kept in. I registered when he’d fairly easily stabbed the djinn with the knife we’d brought in. I saw as Dean came to quickly, his eyes widening as I released him from the way he was tied up. I heard Sam talking to me, though his words practically floated in one ear and out the other until I had Dean propped up against the trunk of my car.

“What the hell happened?” I said at last, my surroundings coming into view once again.

He looked shocked, staring anywhere at me but in my eyes.

“He knocked me out in the bathroom,” he said, swallowing. “You know how the rest goes.”

I scoffed, opening my mouth to say something else when Sam came along. The woman he was helping was definitely worse off than Dean had been.

We all piled into the car, dropping her off at the hospital. It left me plenty of time to come to terms with how my psyche had been handling this situation. I finally felt calm by the time we reached the restaurant, watching as Dean got into the impala. However, Sam stayed with me. Probably just so I’d have to go back to the motel with them in order to drop him off. Bastard.

We arrived, and now, of course, he decided to book it into the hotel room. I followed after, just to say goodbye. Though, I was quickly intercepted by Dean as he walked up towards the door of the motel.

He just stood there, staring at me once again. Still not looking me in the eye. But, to be fair, I was staring too.

I hadn’t expected him to be here. I certainly didn’t think I’d have to save his life once again. After a moment, I cleared my throat to break whatever tension laid between us.

“I should,” I trailed off, looking towards my vehicle. “After I say bye to Sammy.”

His eyes followed to where my gaze set, and I could see him physically fold in on himself a little. He let out a slow sigh, then set his eyes back on the ground between us.

“Just,” he stopped, interrupted by his own heavy breath. “Please. Come in and stay. Just for a little while. A few hours.”

I nodded slowly, something in his face telling me that he needed this. Whatever this was. I trailed after him, walking ahead when he opened the door for me. Sam gave me a soft smile when he met my eyes from where he sat on one of the beds, clearly trying not to scare me off. As if I was some wild animal they were herding into their room.

“I’m not going to make a break for it, you know,” I stated, looking between the two of them as Dean shut the door behind himself.

They fell silent for a moment.

I decided to take a seat in the meantime, settling at the table by the window. Dean shoved his hands in his pockets, looking anywhere but at me. Still. Sam sighed softly, sitting up straight on his mattress.

“We haven’t seen you in forever,” Sam said, shrugging slightly. “Can’t blame us for wanting to hold onto you a little longer.”

—————————— -> DEAN’s POV <- ——————————

I straightened at Sam’s words, suddenly finding the carpet really interesting. I heard her sigh heavily, though I still couldn’t find it in myself to look at her.

I hadn’t really gotten a good look at her since the warehouse. At least, I hadn’t made eye contact.

The last her I had taken the time to really keep my eye on wasn’t even real. But she still loved me. I wanted my memory of her to be just that: loving. I knew I wouldn’t find that now.

“I know,” she said at last. “I’m sorry.”

I took a chance to look at her, now. Her words were so soft and quiet, I was sure I’d misheard her at first. Looking at her, slumped in her seat, I was sure I hadn’t. I let out a breath, not able to take my eyes off of her.

My plan not to look her in the eyes suddenly experienced a miserable failure.

She locked eyes with me, giving almost an apologetic stare. One I wasn’t expecting.

But, there was something else I saw in her stare that I expected even less. I felt my breath catch, her brow furrowing at how I’d obviously stiffened. She opened her mouth to say something, but clearly thought better of it.

She turned in her seat. “Sam?”

He raised a brow. “Yeah?”

“I’m kind of hungry. Would you totally hate me—”

“Your usual?” he asked with a smile.

“Please.”

His smile only grew, taking this as a sign that she’d stick around a little longer. I handed off my keys immediately, still staring at her in disbelief. Whether or not Sammy had realized that she was distracting him didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered once he was out the door was how she abruptly stood and walked towards me, stopping suddenly a few feet in front of me.

I swallowed. “Hey.”

“Hi,” she breathed out. “What aren’t you telling me?”

I let out a slight laugh. Of course. When couldn’t she read me like a book?

She stared at me expectantly, but something told me she knew what she was walking into by asking that question. I softened under her watchful eye, my shoulders releasing the built-up tension I’d been carrying.

“Is it about wherever the djinn sent you?” she prodded.

“Yeah.”

“Tell me.”

I scoffed out a laugh. “Good to know you haven’t changed.”

She glared at me, though the sparkle in her eye told me she wasn’t as annoyed as she was trying to be.

“It was you,” I said simply, knowing there was no dancing around it.

“I figured as much by the way you haven’t stopped staring at me. What happened?”

I swallowed. “I didn’t want to leave, you know? At all. I could’ve stayed there forever and I’d have been fine. Real or not.”

I walked around her at last, sitting on my bed. She followed after, taking a seat next to me.

“It wasn’t just you. We had… We had kids. Another baby on the way. Mom and dad were alive, Sam was doing great,” I paused, laughing once. “Leaving was the hardest decision. I knew I had to get out of it. I had to snap out of it, but man, if I could’ve stayed I would have.”

I took a chance to look at her again. Her face hardly betrayed any emotions. She just sat there, watching me remember it messily.

Something came over me, though. Call it stupidity or bravery. There was a thin line between the two, anyway.

“Do you ever think…” I laughed again. Barely. “Do you still hope?”

The barely-formed question sat in the air between us like a wall. One I hoped like hell she’d take down.

“How couldn’t I?”

There it was. Crumbling down with three words out of her pretty mouth. Her hand reached for mine, taking it softly.

“That’s really where you went?”

“What would I have to gain by lying about it?”

She smiled softly. “Consider me flattered, then. That’s supposed to be your dream life, you know?”

“I know,” I nodded.

She looked at me again, and this time I was sure what I saw in her eyes. I saw it in that djinn-induced dream, too.

“I never stopped loving you,” she said, just above a whisper.

I let out a shaky breath, telling myself that now was not the time to cry. She gave me the softest smile, not a hint of anything but truth in her face.

I don’t know who leaned in first. All I know is that our lips met in the middle for the first time in what felt like an eternity. That life that I so desperately wanted with her might have been a little unrealistic. Maybe we’d never get out of this life. But she gave me hope.

[cherryshh]

CANCEL POST ON ( @frillara ) TRIGGER WARNING -- gojo satoru fondness, oil up comments towards screech, threats, abandonment, bowl cut phobia, among others. I do not to send any hate to iris , but this behavior cannot go unnoticed.

!! THIS IS ALL A SILLY JOKE. !!

"bread" is iris.

GOJO SATORU .. whatever thisshit is

<- Among the digital evidence. I find it highly disrespectful to make such comments about a fictional character. Trying to cover it up with "wrong chat" without proper atonement makes it worse. I expect a three-page apology with tears sewn onto it. This likely distracted Iris, causing our repeated virtual demises. Iris's fixation on Gojo disrupted our gameplay, which is against the TOS. Such behavior is unacceptable and must be rectified immediately.

SCREECH..... LOVE?

GC Iris made.... I can't even begin to explain how wrong this is.

THREATS

<- I regret to inform you that I could only procure these two screenshots. Despite Pufferfish's heartfelt confession and apology, Iris persists in the misguided belief that one can evade repercussions for jeopardizing the safety of our esteemed comrades. I extend my most sincere apologies to the affected parties. (Being a victim of one of these myself).

ABANDONMENT

During our session of playing Doors, Iris and our friend proceeded ahead, resulting in Puffy and me losing health. However, we have reason to believe this was part of Iris's nefarious scheme to dethrone Puffy and me from our Skibidi Sigma Club ranking. Iris took the lead in opening doors, and we suspect that Kiana innocently followed Iris, unaware of the sinister intentions behind it.

<- When we endeavored to enlighten Iris on this matter, she responded aggressively, demanding that we cease our efforts—an unmistakable indication that she holds no regard for the power of friendship.

STEALING

<- Even after being fully aware that Pufferfish had a mere 20% health remaining, Iris heartlessly took the band-aid that could have saved Kiowinnie. She attempted to mask her malevolent plot by claiming it was an accidental click, but we know that is far from the truth.

USE OF DARK MAGIC

<- Isn't it amusing? How, when Iris entered the room, Kiowinnie perished just moments later. Iris then blamed it on some nonexistent monster. We are all acquainted with tales of dark magic, aren't we? I believe this serves as compelling evidence that Iris possesses such dark magic, resurfacing after centuries of obscurity.

BOWL CUT PHOBIA

This is a hate crime. To my comrades with bowl cuts out there—don't let anyone discourage you. Some people simply cannot appreciate the artistic brilliance of such a distinctive hairstyle.

Overall, I am utterly appalled by Iris's behavior and firmly believe we must put an end to this—no more people should fall victim! It was difficult for me to speak up as a victim myself, but now that I have, I think we should all reflect on this and at least try to understand.

tags for reach ! @kiochisato @starhrtz @pinkmiku @eskeys @maidetta ( plz lmk if the tag annoys u )

[imaginespazzi]

PARRRRTTTT SEVEN REACCTTTIONNS

- nivi u angel bby thank you so much for the update!!! i always look forward to monday updates (west coast girly u did it with hours to spare) BUT REMEMBER don’t over work yourself over getting us updates!!! ily!!!

- my goal for the chapter is to stay far away from cliffs because i seem to always threaten them!

- stop paige’s little mini panic then relief when azzi and stephie are still there 😭😭 sweet girl went through it:(

- “and maybe this is how i become whole again.” oh hey it’s me, remember before i started reading i said i would stay clear of the cliffs? yeah well, fuck that! find me a cliff because i died dead. screaming, crying, throwing up. NIVI u are my evil genius but please please just protect her heart PLEASE.

- okay paige just left the bed if she leaves the house without speaking to azzi and stephie u might finally get some tears out of my eyes! i rlly don’t think she would but…

- stop poor drew 😢drew being annoyed with paige switching teams?!? im nervous for drew and azzi reunion.

- going to be honest i don’t really interact with azzis brothers stuff anywhere so i don’t know anything abt Tallulah but she seems so sweet in your fic ❤️‍🔥

- stop the fudds missing paige and talking about her😭😭 im on the floor next to the cliff bleeding out

- stop tim and paige mean so much to me

- stop paige legit tripping over her feet at the sight of stephie upset MY HEART

- STEPHIE ASKING PAIGE TO PROMISE SHE WILL NEVER LEAVE 😭😭 im scared

- I PROMISE ILL TRY TO STAY. fuck i’m scared

- god. your writing is a masterpiece. this whole situation is damaging my soul. i don’t hold it again azzi, im fully convinced she has her reasoning that were VAILD but oh my god i feel so bad for paige (this is not me saying that azzi didn’t go through shit too) but my poor bby is terrified i feel so bad ☹️

- stop stephie really is a mini azzi 🥹🥹

- love.

- kill

- me

- now

- let’s go back to me at the bottom of the cliff bleeding out, my pulse is barley there now.

- STWAAAPPPP paige spoils stephie it’s so cute

- YOUR DAUGHTER 🥹🥹🥹🥹

- i can’t tell if that helped or made my pulse worse

- hey so my baby fever is still here and killing me.

- “ONLY FOR YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER.” my pulse just gave out, flatlined, not breathing, dead 🤗 thank you so much.

- YES PAIGE YOU ARE SAFE WITH AZZI.

- JANNNNNAAA MY GIRRLL

- Aunty Chérie you say? hmm i can just smell paige’s jealousy

- “you’re supposed to be holding me and i’m supposed to be holding you; it was meant to be us.” hey so i somehow just died even more😁

- okay here is the thing, i feel for olivia i do. the situation most have been hurtful to her however, CUNT CUNT CUNT DONT U DARE EVEN THINK A NEGATIVE THOUGHT AGAINST THE AMAZING, PERFECT, GORGEOUS, SMART, TALENTED, LOVELY, AZZI FUDD. her and her passive aggressive comments can leave.

- OHHHHH AZZI FUDD, YOU ATE HER UP SHE MAY BE 5th BEST BUT MY GOD AREBU NUMBER ONE BY MILLLLLLLES.

- “if it was azzi” paige babe let’s fast forward to that divorce.

- also paige going on tik tok spirals abt azzi while her wife is in the same room is just WILD and kinda sad almost makes me feel bad for mrs. cunt (my sympathy for her evaporated the second when opened her mouth around azzi 🤬🤬)

- the whole last section. omg. i know i already died then came back to life but i am not FLINGING myself back off the cliff 😁

- GODDDD NIVI u talented, talented women i cant believe how you always are able to amaze me with your writing.

- i’m gonna be honest it’s 2am for me i started reading at 10 and i just finished. i kept having to take breaks because i was screaming, no tears though!

- chapter was 100,000/10

- QUESTIONS FOR NEXT CHAPTER:

- OKAY so ms french girl whose name i can’t remember at the moment is no longer playing with the valkyries… are we gonna get like flashbacks of azzi and her in future chapters?

- this may be dumb but if the olympics were 2028 next ones were, 2032 and its 2033 right? so did the other olympics pass? are we gonna learn more about that? did azzi and paige win gold? IM SO CURIOUS!!!!

- okay that’s all i got i think…sorry for yapping so much!

oh also i kept dying but it’s def gonna keep happening tbh

-🤩🤩

HI MY LOVEEEEEE <3

- You're literally the most precious soul ever and lowkey I really needed to hear that cause I do mayhaps stress just a little bit about updating so thank you :)

- I like that you said you were going to stay away from cliffs and then managed to get through exactly one bullet without jumping off a cliff...

- I lowkey don't know a lot about Tallulah either because I only really have second-hand knowledge of the lives so I'm just lowkey molding her into what works for the plot I guess? But I'm sure she's lovely irl too!

- Circumstance truly is a bitch because I think they're both pretty scared of things beyond their control being an obstacle again

- Baby you really went through it for a couple of paragraphs there huh?

- Listen if I have to suffer through baby fever, you're all suffering with me like I keep having to remind myself that a college dorm is not appropriate for a baby bassinet

- MRS CUNT made me cackle out loud

- Omg not 4 hours babes lmao but I'm glad I still haven't brought you to tears!

- Hmmm I lowkey don't think there will be flashbacks of Clémence like that because her and Azzi's past isn't quite as integral as their present (opposite of Olivia in a sense I guess)

- The next Olympics were in fact 2032...I wonder what happened? I wonder if we'll find out?

Never apologize for yapping, it makes me so happy to hear everyone's thoughts!

[moonlight-if-knight]

Prologue ~ Derek's POV

How did I end up like this?

The others just left the library, leaving me alone with Father and that human. The pauses between each heartbeat are getting longer, a clear sign that they don’t have much time left.

“You know how to do it.”

It wasn’t a question but a fact coming from him. How am I supposed to be sure how to do it if I’ve never done it before?

“I do not know how,” I find my voice and tell him.

“You saw me turn the others into vampires.”

“Just because I saw you does not mean I know how to do it myself.”

“You have never needed to have things explained to you in order to do them.”

Have I had any other choice?

“I still believe this is not right,” I try to change the subject.

It would seem like my father didn’t hear me, but that’s not true. He only chooses to remain silent while taking out a handkerchief from his pocket and starting to clean the face of the human.

“Why is that seeing someone in this state doesn’t affect you one bit?” he asks me as he cleans dirt and blood from their face.

I’m not Jeremiah. I don’t have the immaturity to still see humans in an emotive or affective way. I can’t afford that.

Although, if I’m honest, even with myself, I would have to admit that even after all these years, I still haven’t gotten used to the fact that humans come and go. I would have to admit that one part of me, however small it is, freaks out seeing a person like this and screams for me to do something.

But I will not do it.

“And just because it affects me, I should turn them without knowing if this is what they want?”

“Is it better if they die?”

“Only they can answer that.”

Because I know there’s something worse. And is someone who’s suffering by their mere existence.

“Have you thought of the possibility of them ending up like Lady Madeleine?”

“And now you bring that up once again,” his voice sounds annoyed.

“How can we be sure that they can adapt as well as us?”

“You said that when I turned Alexandre and Jeremiah. And as far as I see, I think the results are obvious.”

“But Maxi-”

“Maximillian is also fine. He had a little more trouble getting used, but now he is as good as us.”

“And what if they have troubles, too? We know nothing about their situation and what they’ll be leaving behind when they wake up, and we tell them they can’t go back to their home. What if they don’t want to? Or if they can’t adapt to the night?”

“That’s what you will do for the rest of your existence?” his voice changes again, sounding like one scolding a disobedient child. “Will you never act for fear of the ending not being the one you want?”

“You were the one who taught me to think about the consequences of my actions before acting.”

“But not in letting your doubts control you. You will not always have all the time you want to act. If you keep like this, you’ll achieve nothing new because when you have decided, it will be too late. Time doesn’t wait for anyone, not even us.”

“And this is a case when I have to act first before thinking carefully?” I extend my hands towards the sofa, pointing at the person on it. “According to my criteria, this is a case when I have to think about what I’ll do. Because what I’ll choose to do won’t only affect me or our family but their life too. That person will carry the consequences of what I do today for the rest of their existence.”

“They will have a chance, and that is what matters most. When they wake up-”

“We aren’t even sure they’ll wake up.”

...

There’s a deathly silence after my words.

I don’t dare to look into my father’s eyes.

“You have your order. Do it already.”

He turns away sharply and walks to the door. He stops before opening it, sighs heavily, and exits the library, resuming his act in front of my brothers.

Again. I talked too much again.

I always have to keep talking. I can’t let things be as they are. If only I could remain silent for once...

A heartbeat interrupts my thoughts.

That’s right. Now I’m alone with the human.

I look at them. They’re still on the sofa, looking like they don’t have many heartbeats left. I have to acknowledge their tenacity for being alive as long as they have and with so little strength left.

If I’m going to do it, it has to be now, before...

May the Moon forgive me.

I walk over to them and pick up what my father was doing earlier. I start to clean the dirt that has gotten to their arms.

These cuts aren’t because of falls or hits. They’re too clean to be the reason.

Hits, bruises, cuts... What happened to you? Did someone do this to you?

...I hope that later you will like to tell me what happened.

When I finish cleaning their arms, I bring my thumb to my mouth and rip my skin open with my fang.

For us, vampires, to share our curse with humans, we must give our blood. We have to be the first blood they taste, and it also has to come into contact with theirs. Said human also has to give their blood, as it’s a reciprocal act. This is how both end up marked forever, sealing the pact with the most important thing we can give...

Blood.

I remember the words Lord Mond told us all those decades ago when we newly witnessed the world without human eyes.

I let the drops of blood fall from my finger to their arms. With this, it should close all those wounds.

Then, I cut open the palm of my hand with my nail, clenching my fist to draw more blood and let it fall onto their abdomen. With this, it should start to heal that deep cut.

I bring my hand closer to their mouth, letting my blood slip between their lips.

Will this be enough? Maybe just a little more...

After a few moments, I retire my hand and clean it with my handkerchief. When I look at my hand, there’s no hint of any wound in my palm or thumb. Also, I use the cloth to clean the stains my blood left on their arms, and once they’re clean, they don’t have any wounds at all.

There’s only one thing left. I clean the human’s hand and lean closer, bringing it to my lips.

Just a little bit. I can’t take too much blood for all they’ve already lost-

My fangs had barely pierced the skin, and the blood touched my lips when I jumped away with a start.

What was that? Why was it different?

I can’t find the words to explain what just happened. This is not the first time I have drunk blood from a human, but this time...

It’s because I turned them. I did it. What have I done? No...

Forgive me. I am truly sorry.

I’ve no idea when I opened the door and left the room. I walk without stopping towards my bedroom.

I have to do something, anything. I don’t want to think about what will happen if you open your eyes or even if you don’t.

The only thing I know is that if you happen to wake up, I’ll be the one who will take the blame for your mistakes and the one responsible for you. It’s the least I can do for you.

A sigh escapes my lips as soon as I enter my bedroom and close the door.

If you happen to wake up, you will surely hate me for what I just have done.

[buckysgrace]

Chapter Five

Previous Chapter

CW: Drug use

Kim felt so awkward sitting in the car as Billy drove off from Addi’s house. Her tongue licked over her teeth, trying to will herself to ask him anything.

She hated herself. She wanted to be closer to him yet far, far away at the same time. She glanced at the side of his face and looked away again.

He was truly unbothered as he drove and smoked. She listened to his music, trying to pretend that she was far away from here. She didn’t know why he had acted like they had to leave that instant. She had walked there without his help and didn’t understand why she would need to get back home with his help.

“Where did you get your swimming suit from?” He asked at last. She figured he had been working on asking her that, waiting until Addi was gone so he could question her. She shrugged feeling bashful.

“From the mall. It’s just a swimming suit.” She pleaded her case as he looked over at her, through his sunglasses. He laughed.

“You know my dad wouldn’t say that. He’d say a lot worse if he knew about it.” He told her what she already knew. She sighed.

“Well, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?” She smiled at him, but he just stared at her blankly.

“I’m getting tired of holding your secrets, you know.” He puffed his smoke out the window as the houses raced past them. She didn’t like to admit how much she enjoyed it when he went fast. Not quite at this moment, however, she was still feeling a bit ill from the three large brownies she had devoured.

“It’s not a secret. He just doesn’t need to know.” She defended herself. He was right though; she really didn’t trust him to be her secret keeper. She still wasn’t sure how much she could trust him, or if she could at all.

“Right and when he does eventually find out are you going to tell him you got it for the rich Harrington boy?” He mocked playfully and she felt herself growing irritated that he wouldn’t just drop the conversation. It was a bikini, loads of girls her age wore them.

“I didn’t wear it for Steve. I didn’t even know he was going to be there. God, you’re so annoying.” She huffed as she crossed her arms, not realizing what she had just admitted.

“Who?” She turned to face him again at the sudden question. She raised her eyebrows and waited for him to continue, “If you didn’t wear it for Steve then who did you wear it for?”

Shit, shit, shit, shit.

She blanched as she raked her mind for an excuse. She couldn't tell him that she had worn it for him, that she wanted to see just how crazy she drove him as well. She was too embarrassed to ever admit that.

“Who? Myself. I don’t need a guy to look at me like that.” She snapped back at him, hoping he would buy the answer. He turned to look at her for a moment and she glanced away to the road. She couldn’t let him know what she was thinking.

“Right. So, what are you going to ask this dude out or just keep staring at him like a creep?” She frowned.

“Like those moms that stare at you? Are you mad you have some competition?” She challenged, watching as he scrunched his nose while he smiled.

“Are you jealous or something? I don’t have any competition. I think you’re the only one that’s into Pretty Boy.” She knew he was wrong. She still heard the way girls talked about him. Not to mention she was pretty sure he had a girlfriend anyways.

Robin.

“Okay, yes, I bought some nice clothes at the beginning of the summer to impress him. Not that it matters because I didn’t wear it for him. He has a girlfriend anyways.” She added, clearly sounding defeated at the end of her sentence. Billy was silent for a moment before looking at her.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I’m just looking after you. In any case, he’s an idiot. You’re a lot better looking than any of the girls he’s ever been with.” Kim felt her face ignite as he complimented her. She convinced herself he was just being nice and wasn’t suggesting anything else.

Yet, Kim felt her heart pounding against her chest as she looked at him. He had clearly been watching her at the pool and they had stared each other down pretty hard if she admitted it. She took a breath of confidence.

“Did you think I looked pretty?” She crossed her right leg over her left one as she turned to face him, batting her eyelashes in his direction. She was just trying to annoy him the way he annoyed her, she promised herself.

His cigarette almost slipped from his lips as he looked at her, surprised by her sudden boldness, she was sure. He hastily threw it out the window, cleared his throat and put both hands on the wheel as he stared forward out the front window.

“Uh yeah, yeah you do.” He snagged his bottom lip between his teeth as he drove. She faltered for a moment as focused on how he said she does look pretty, not that she did. She watched as his hands tightened around the wheel, his fingers beginning to turn white as he gripped it so hard.

“I like feeling pretty," She leaned against the dashboard, testing her boundaries as her arms pressed against her chest and heightened her cleavage just a bit. His blue eyes slowly grazed over her body before turning back to the road. She watched as he shifted in his seat, trying to examine his body language the same way he seemed to know hers, “So can you please not tell Neil? So, I can continue to look pretty?” She pleaded softly. She figured she’d never wear the bikini again, but maybe she would.

“Yeah, yeah I guess.” He muttered, hitting on the gas a little harder. Kim lurched forward and adjusted in her seat to keep from flying against the dashboard. She shot him a glare as she sat back in her seat.

“What’s your issue with Steve anyways?” She watched him curiously. He turned to her; annoyance written across his face.

“He’s a dick.” Was all he said as he turned fast on the familiar street corner. A small squeal left her mouth as she pressed into the side of the door. Her heart hammered in her chest as he pulled onto the side of the street. 

He was out of the car quicker than she was able to unbuckle her seat belt. She reached for her pool bag, pulling it on her lap and making sure the best of her things was in order before she got out.

“You coming?” Her head snapped hard to the side when she watched him open the door for her. He’d never done that before.

She swung her long legs out and nodded at him. She rose from the seat, standing up straight and meeting his gaze. She moved out of the way as he closed the door, her back leaning back against the car door as he trapped her, standing inches away from there.

She felt her pulse begin to quicken, every breath she took pressed her chest up against his. He only stood a few inches taller than her but, in this position, it felt like he towered over her. She felt like she was a prey who had just been trapped by their predator, ready to be devoured.

“Hi.” She squeaked out watching the grin form on his lips. His fingertips traced along the side of her shorts as he watched her. She felt her breath hitch as she looked at him curiously, wondering what he was thinking. She couldn’t imagine what others would think if they saw the two of them standing this close together.

“Hi,” He grinned down at her, “You swear you didn’t wear that for Pretty Boy?” She wasn’t sure how to answer him, instead focusing on how his fingers felt like they were burning through her clothes and lighting her skin aflame. 

“No, I didn’t even know Steve was going to be there.” She didn’t understand why he kept asking her the same question or why he was standing so close to her with his hands on her hips. She was facing a moral dilemma as the line between them kept getting smaller and smaller.

Billy’s large hands began to rub circles through her shirt as a grin began to form against his lips. She looked away from his eyes, instead focusing on the necklace that dangled down his chest. Her heart was racing, she didn’t see Neil’s vehicle but that didn’t mean that he was gone. She didn’t know what either of them would do if someone saw them this close.

“So, who’d you wear it for? Don’t bullshit me, I know that’s not the type of clothing you wear.” He said simply, his eyes raking over her face. Kim felt flustered and knew it wasn’t from the hot summer sun beating down on the side of her face. The golden light hit Billy’s tan skin perfectly, showing off his freckles and tanned skin. He looked like one of the romantic heroes in the books that she would binge, and she hated to think of him in that way.

Kim looked at him, afraid of how she would answer him. She didn’t want to lie but there was no way she could tell him the truth. If she told him that she had worn that little bikini for him then he would know that he had some sort of hold on her. She could already imagine his disgusted expression and the way he would never let that die.

“I wanted to be noticed,” She spoke up after a moment, watching his soft eyes. She had never known someone to hold eye contact so intensely before, “Guys don’t notice me and I thought maybe this would help.” It wasn’t the exact truth, but it was as best as she could do. She couldn’t read the expression on his face as she leaned back against his car, ignoring how the blue paint was scalding from the sun.

“You’re going to give people the wrong idea,” He spoke after a moment, and she watched how his lips moved when he spoke. She had never noticed how annoyingly white and straight his teeth were, “Especially guys. They’ll just take advantage of you. They won’t even fuck you right, they’ll be too focused on their own pleasure. You deserve better than that.”

She thought she might have a heart attack with the way her heart was beating inside her chest. He was confusing her so badly that she didn’t know what to think. She couldn’t understand why he’d touch her like this and then slyly add comments that made her overthink the meaning.

Sure, she could brush it off as him being a protective older brother. They never had that relationship before. He had never cared about her existence other than to bicker about her needing to get her own license and to occasionally ask to copy off of her homework.

“What did you mean when you said if I needed help all I need to do is ask?” She asked so softly that she almost didn’t hear herself speak at all. A grin rose on his face as he began to pull away from her.

“I guess you’ll have to ask to find out,” By now he was standing a few feet away from her, yet she still remained squished against his car, “You’re watching Max and her friend tonight. I have a date.”

A date?

She felt her head spin around as she lurched off of his car and followed him up the steps into the house. She tried to keep up with his pace as she raced up the steps, ignoring how the cool, cold air from the AC felt nice against her sweaty skin.

“You have a date?” Her mouth felt like there was cotton in it as he turned to look at her, not looking the least bit upset. 

“Yeah, it’s Friday. I’m not going to sit around here all night and babysit.” He replied as he walked down the hall to his room. Kim stood in the same spot, fuming.

How was it even fair for him to have any right to tell her that no guy deserved her, when it was so easy for him to run off with whichever girl, he found interesting at the moment. She was sure, had she put in the effort at the pool, that she could’ve made some plans with Steve. Or even any other guy that was there at the pool.

She had options. There was someone out there that was interested in her.

“I’m not babysitting!” She yelled after Billy as he slammed his door shut. She didn’t even have to leave the pool with him, he made her. He dragged her all the way back to the house just so she could watch Max. She didn’t even know that Neil and her mom would be gone tonight, although she should’ve known better.

“It’s not babysitting,” Max spoke up from her room, peeking her head out. She looked very annoyed, “I have a friend over and we all know you have no plans anyways.” Max shrugged, looking too smug as she shut her door again. Kim groaned in frustration, stomping all the way to her room before launching herself on her bed. She pulled a pink pillow to her chest, resisting the urge to cry.

She blamed it on all the different emotions she’d been feeling and on the slight possibility that she may be starting her period soon. She didn’t want to admit that Billy had some kind of control over her. She wouldn’t sink that low.

She rolled over on her back, praying that this would be what she needed to tell her mind to fuck off and stop giving her such vivid and dirty images about him. She sighed, feeling an odd trembling sensation building in her stomach and spreading down her legs and arms. She brushed it off as anger.

She looked up when she saw her younger, fiery sister and her quiet friend standing in the doorway. She could remember when her mother told her she’d be having a baby sister and had felt so over the moon. She absolutely loved baby dolls at that age. She’d do their hair, dress them up, and have tea parties with them. And she was finally going to have her own little baby doll to play with.

Wrong.

From the moment Max was brought home she hated to be messed with. Kim was only three at the time, but learned fast that her and her sister were two completely different bodies. Max loved to skateboard, to play sports and get dirty. Kim preferred to spend her time in the library, reading and working on art projects.

Max’s friend, El, was more than enthusiastic to have her play with her hair and paint her nails. It wasn’t that Max didn’t enjoy it, but it was only when she wanted to do it. El always sat so still and patient while she let Kim figure out different ways to design her short hair.

“Yes?” She questioned watching as the two of them stared at her. She felt an odd sensation that she needed to giggle rising in her stomach, so she swallowed that down.

“Are you going to order us pizza?” Max asked as El nudged her. Kim raised her eyebrow and waited, “Could you pretty please order us pizza?” Max tried again, placing a wide smile across her lips.

“Since you asked so nicely,” Kim stood up, feeling wobbly on her feet as she walked towards them. She stopped to squeeze her sister's soft face, “Awe we’re gonna have a girl's night!” She exclaimed, all of her angry emotions from a few moments ago were gone. El giggled and moved out of her way, while Max groaned and rubbed her now red face.

Kim kept blinking as she walked towards the wall phone, feeling her eyes beginning to squint. She pulled off the piece of paper that her mother had left, the number to the pizza place printed clearly in her pretty handwriting.

She thought about how good a piece of greasy pizza would taste right now, the melty cheese and hot sauce dripping on her tongue. It took all of her willpower not to moan.

Kim got halfway through punching in the numbers, when she had to hang up and attempt it again. This time she only got three numbers in before she forgot which one, she was at. She kept squinting, her eyes burning as she stared at the numbers.

She attempted again, this time dropping the phone before she could finish putting in the first two numbers. She laughed, sliding down the wall as she thought about how klutzy she was.

Max peeked over the couch, looking at her with wide blue eyes. El had a sloppy grin on her face, holding her hand up so she could whisper something to Max. Kim couldn’t help the giggles that poured out of her, now. Everything was becoming too much for her.

“I can’t put in the number,” She waved the paper around her head, motioning to Max, “I don’t think I can stand up either.” She replied seriously before feeling the urge to laugh again.

She was beginning to wonder if those brownies weren’t just regular brownies.

“My sister would not-” She heard Max say as she turned from El and looked back at Kim. She took in Kim’s appearance before cursing. El looked just as amused as Kim felt and the both of them burst into a fit of giggles as they looked at each other.

Kim wasn’t sure what was so funny but laughing just felt like the right thing to do. For the first time in her life, she felt so relaxed and carefree. She began pressing her fingertips together, admiring the tingling feeling that was shooting through them.

“Uh,” Max stood up from the couch, staring down at her older sister looking very unsure of herself, “Stay right here.” She muttered before walking down the hall. El leaned over the couch, crossing her arms as she looked at the older girl.

“You wanna hear a joke?” She asked, looking mischievous. Kim nodded eagerly watching the younger girl think about her joke before speaking.

“What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?” El asked, glancing around to make sure no one else was around. Kim felt her eyebrow furrow as she leaned forward on her palms and shook her head.

“She gagged.” It took a moment of realization before Kim was lying on the ground, clutching her stomach as she fought through her giggles. She couldn’t stop laughing against the cold floor, her insides aching as she laid her palms against her stomach to calm herself. She turned on her back, trying to relax as she opened her eyes to see Billy and Max peering down at her.

She snorted as another fit bubbled up, realizing they were wearing the same expression as they watched her. She could still hear El giggling, though it was fainter now as Billy had come into the room.

“Are you high?” He asked her very seriously. He looked different upside down, she realized. However, she could still tell by the way the front of his hair was messy that he had been in the process of curling it.

“Were you grooming yourself?” She sassed back, watching as irritation began to replace his concerned look. She could tell Max was trying not to laugh as she looked away from her sister.

“What the hell did you do?” He repeated again as he squatted down and tried to get her into a sitting position. She groaned, lightly pressing her hand against his chest and staying limp so she could keep resting on the floor.

“I’m comfortable here, thank you very much.” She responded as she rested her back against the floor, liking how cold it felt against her skin.

“It’s probably dirty down there.” Max spoke up. Kim glanced over at El before laughing again, thinking about how funny her joke had been. Billy gripped both of her shoulders, heaving her up hard so she was sitting up in front of him. A gasp left her mouth and she grinned, reached out to pat his hardened jaw before she could stop herself.

“My hero, thank you for saving me from the dirty floor.” She added playfully, not even caring what anyone thought. She could tell he was exasperated as he gripped onto her shoulders to keep her from lying back down. Max crouched down next to him, looking at her concerned.

Kim thought about how the two were so similar yet hated each other so much.

“What did you take?” Billy asked again, looking less friendly this time. Kim tried to force her eyes wider apart to look at him, but found they were too far squinted to do it. She shrugged, nonchalant.

“Come on, we won't tell mom or dad.” Max pleaded, still looking concerned. Kim felt her resolve breaking.

“A brownie.” She said simply, knowing this was all ridiculous. They were overreacting. She was fine. Max turned to look at her older brother.

“Why would a brownie make her do this?” She asked, not quite understanding. Kim thought she looked adorable being so confused. She really wanted to squeeze her cheeks again but resisted doing so.

“You brat. How much did you take?” Billy snapped, obviously knowing what she meant by a brownie. He ignored Max’s gaze and continued to stare at Kim. She felt the same way she did when she had been thinking about chowing down on a slice of pizza. A moan was bubbling in her stomach and electricity pulsed through her body as the way he called her a brat bounced around in her head.

“Jonathan gets brownies sometimes; they have weed in them.” El whispered the last part to Max, and Max turned to her sister horrified. She was sure Max didn’t think she’d ever do something like that.

She counted on her fingers for a moment.

“Just three brownies, okay? They were just brownies. I didn’t taste any weed in them, at all.” Her words were becoming more sluggish and felt odd coming off of her tongue. It was like it was taking more effort for her to speak.

Billy’s blue eyes widened as he stared at her, at a loss for words as he took in the girl in front of her. Kim wiggled her eyebrows.

“Can we get pizza or what?” She asked looking at the three people who kept staring at her, “I could really eat some right now.” She added, watching as Billy examined her.

“Go sit on the couch, I’ll order it before I leave. I’m serious, I have better things to do than sit here watching the three of you all night.” He huffed out, letting her go and standing up. Kim looked at Max, watching as the younger girl was now sporting an amused expression.

“Yeah, yeah.” Kim responded but continued to sit on the floor, feeling like she didn’t have the ability to walk to the couch. She watched as Max headed back to El and began deciding which movie they were going to watch.

Kim stretched her legs out, her hands in her lap as she watched Billy order the food. She stared up the side of his body, taking in how muscular he really was. For the first time she didn’t feel bad about her thoughts towards him, instead, she felt like welcoming them.

He shot her a look as he hung up the phone, his foot pushing the side of her calf gently. She watched as her foot rolled to the side before sitting up again. She grinned up at him.

“I thought I told you to go to the couch?” He asked irritably. She stretched her arms out in the air, holding them over her head.

“My legs won’t work.” She said simply, grinning like a fool as he realized what he wanted to do. She figured it wouldn’t work and she would just end up crawling her way across the floor until she reached the seats. She watched him pinch the bridge of his nose and sigh very loudly.

She was starting to put her arms down when he crouched down near her again, an arm holding onto her back and under her thighs. She squealed, pleased as she carried her towards the couch. 

She laid against his chest, taking in his warmth as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She was careful to make sure she didn’t pull on his hair as she did so.

“You look nice.” She muttered, still smiling. He really did too. His jeans fit him nice and his shirt, like always, had one too many buttons undone.

“Shut up.” He grumbled back before stopping at the couch, waiting a moment for the two younger girls to scoot out of the way before plopping her down. A loud shriek left Kim’s mouth as she laughed in delight, enjoying the drop down a bit too much.

Billy just huffed before he stomped out of the room. Kim listened to his door slam shut and gave the two girls a playful look.

“Did I say something wrong?” El giggled, resting her arms against Kim’s legs as she stretched out on the couch. Even Max was grinning now.

“Why would you take that many? You know if mom and dad were home, you’d be in so much trouble.” Kim knew Max was right, but she just waved the young girl off, too high to care about what could have happened. She rested back against the arm of the chair, thinking about how good a slice of pizza would taste right now. She wondered when it would get here.

Kim listened as the two began discussing different subjects, boys, music, comics, and more boys. She cracked a grin a few times, never interrupting, just glad that her sister had found a place here.

“Did you find a movie yet?” Billy walked out of his room briskly. Kim tried to follow his footsteps to the front door with her eyes, but found the movement was too much. She listened as he opened the door.

That awoke her. She felt herself sitting up, breathing in the steamy smell of greasy pizza as he carried the two boxes to the living room. Throwing a stack of napkins and paper plates down.

“You got soda, didn’t you?” Max asked and Kim hoped the question was yes. She would do anything to taste and feel the sweet carbonation traveling down her body. Billy sighed before grabbing it off the counter. 

Kim didn’t wait for anyone else before she made her plate. She held up the slice, looking in awe at how the cheese was perfectly browned and the crust was golden. She lifted it up to her tongue, moaning as she bit into it and let the garlicky sauce lick at her taste buds.

She opened her eyes to see Billy staring at her, his jaw slack as he held a slice of pizza between the box and his plate. She chewed thoroughly, raising her eyebrow.

“I thought you had a date, and you were absolutely not canceling it?” She mocked as she finished her slice, she was sure this was the best meal she had ever had. El and Max grinned next to her, a small whisper of not having to hear happy screams was heard.

Billy stood up straight as he stared her down, then looked at the other two.

“Not like any of you left me a choice. I’m not leaving Hopper’s daughter alone with someone who's high off her ass. I’m not going down for that.” He defended. He walked towards Kim and began to sit down next to her. She scooted over closer to El, trying not to get squashed by him in the process. She could hear Max protest as she moved.

No one really stayed in the living room, at least not when Neil was around. Apparently, they needed a bigger couch for when he was gone. 

“Sure.” She drew the syllables as she looked at him, “You just know you didn’t want to miss out on this awesome night.” She concluded as she began her second slice of pizza and reached for the soda.

Max gripped the 2 liter in her hand tightly, “How about I pour it for you?” Kim nodded happily, watching as her sister worked. She passed the drink to her, which Kim accepted with glee.

“Did you decide on a movie then?” Billy asked dryly, his elbow hitting Kim’s ribs as he adjusted in his seat. She jolted as he hit right where she was ticklish. She shot him a glare, pinned between him and El. 

El shifted as Max scooted down to grab the remote, pressing play, “Nightmare on Elm Street is up first.” Kim groaned as she heard the title, knowing how much Max loved scary movies. She was completely opposite, hating the way the nightmares attacked her later.

“It’s so scary.” She whined as she swallowed the rest of her complaint down with soda. Yeah, yeah that was good, she decided. Max and El gave her an incredulous look.

“It’s not that scary.” Max spoke up and shook her red hair. Kim knew she wouldn’t win as she turned to look at Billy, their shoulders pressed together. He shifted again, his shoulder toppling over hers as his hand lingered dangerously close to her thigh. She stared, imagining how it would look as he squeezed her thigh.

“Don’t look at me. She’s right.” Billy shrugged as he continued eating. Kim sighed playfully, accepting the fact that she would have nightmares tonight. She tucked into the couch, hiding behind his shoulder.

“Fine, but you guys better not complain when I crawl into bed with you tonight.” She muttered, licking the grease off the side of her thumb. She turned her eyes to see Billy watching her, an unreadable expression on his face, “Who were you supposed to see tonight?” She asked, trying to be coy. He raised his eyebrow as he watched her.

“Does it matter? The date isn’t happening.” She wanted to say that it served him right for making her leave the pool early but resisted the urge to do so. She knew it would do nothing but irritate him more. There was something nice about him joining them to watch a movie.

She quieted down when it finally started, not wanting to annoy the two girls as it played. Max gave them all a temporary relief when she stood up to turn the light off. Paranoia crawled up Kim as she kept glancing over her arm to look behind her every time the scary music started to play.

“You’ve got to stop,” Max whined when she turned to face her again, “You’re gonna freak us out.” She huffed, moving to the floor and pulling El down with her.

“I told you it’s scary!” Kim defended herself, no longer finding everything hilarious. She kept jumping, moving closer to Billy as every little thing frightened her. She began to scoot away, freeing up some space between them when she fell for another jump scare. She was practically in his lap as she held onto his waist, a shrill shriek threatening to spill out.

She listened to him chuckle, feeling his chest move as he did so. She spared a glance at him as she curled against his side, thankful for his arm that moved around her. She felt a lot safer here, under his protective arm.

“You really are a scaredy cat, Mayfield.” She cursed him as she laid there, pulling a blanket over her legs so no demons would grab ahold of her feet.

Or Max. Max tended to do that a lot. She shivered as she thought about how Max went through a phase of hiding in dark spots in her room with a white sheet over her head.

She clutched him closer as another scary part appeared, curling her legs up to her chest. She tried to focus on the movie, instead of the way his fingers were tracing designs onto her back. She wondered how he was warm all the time, when she always felt so cold. 

She had never sat in such a position with him before and wondered if it was just him being nice, actually concerned that she would do something dumb, or if there was another reason he was holding onto her. Her eyes were beginning to close as she drifted off, Billy being the only thing to cross her thoughts.

///////

She didn’t know how late it was, but felt her comforter being placed over her as she could see the darkness engulfing her room. She fluttered her eyes, still dazed and sleepy as she adjusted her head on her pillow.

She turned to her back, noticing him pulling away like he was going to leave. She reached out, taking his hand softly. It was so dark she couldn’t see his face or expression, but she knew it was Billy. Her voice faltered as she thought about asking him to turn on her night light, images from the movie flickering in her mind.

“Stay,” She spoke softly, sleep threatening to take over as she kept blinking her eyes to stay focused on him, “Please.” She spoke even more gently, for even in the dark she could sense his hesitation. 

He sighed as he slid into bed next to her, making her bed shift completely as he got comfortable. In the back of her mind, she could feel laughter growing as she thought of Billy, all macho, covered in her green and pink flowery sheets.

Billy muttered something under his breath, but she was too far gone to listen to what he was saying. Her eyes closed as she moved closer to him, not close enough to touch, just seeking his warmth as she felt herself departing into a deep sleep.

Next Chapter

[greekbros]

(followers in the United States. Although these may not be the final results in the election, but I can only say is I am deeply sorry that things are about to get more difficult.)

(I understand there is not much we can do at this point, and it is reasonably hopeless if everything goes further down)

(I will not attempt to raise anyone's hopes but at the same time I don't want to put more weight on the boat as it's sinking.)

(I understand that I have not been active whatsoever on this account, predominantly because of my academia. With that being said I only hope that the only good thing that can happen this year is that I can graduate knowing that this will be the last year that's any level of educational improvement will be deemed of any worth)

(I hope that's by the time I graduate, certain forces will allow me to be not only able to exceed in my dreams, but help me be able to prove all those that have gone up my nerves)

(especially my conservative family members who have done nothing but prove to me that their love and respect for me is conditional at its best and optional at its worst... And it's not even because I fall under anything in particular.... Just under the superfluousness of different opinions...)

(I have been going through what I can only describe, as a very painful, uncomfortable and unrelenting transformation... And which that is only revealed ugly truths that sadly I must settle with until I become physically independent, finding my own place)

(but I will say this, things will likely get worse, but the knowledge that many of us had opposed the evils of 🍊 is at least something to take into consideration. It is difficult to ignore now the unusual and concerning influx of far-right conservatives flooding social medias all over the place from tik tok to Tumblr, but either way, we still need to persevere. There are too many people in this country for project 2025 to be wholeheartedly successful without opposition)

(the reason why places like Germany were able to be successful as they were back in the 30s and 40s, was that because not only was it a smaller country, but they fed on the insecurities of others just like it. Which is exactly what 🍊 is doing right now)

(keep in mind, with an insecure, sad, pathetic, and irredeemable rotting 🍊.... We can see that he has one weakness. There are too many people against him, and I'm not talking about administrative or Congressional support. I'm talking about numerically)

(keep in mind, as United States citizens, we can also send distress messages and signals to other countries in case of tyranny)

(I 110% expect the annoying ultra rights conservatives to flood my inbox after I post this. I'm not afraid of any of you, what I understand is that when hard times are going to hit, you're all going to say "why is everything so bad right now? Wasn't 🍊 going to fix the economy??? Waaah where are my rights? What do you mean I'm going to jail because I didn't pay this or this goes against project 2025????")

(the conservative right isn't just going to get a healthy dose of their own medicine, they're going to get an overdose... Just like every other person in this country will)

(what we're about to face is an unprecedented amount of highly calculated and specifically catered cruelty)

(did those who will be heavily affected by this, including myself for which many of project 2025's plans heavily effect as well. I would just like to say things are about to get bad, but all I wish for you is impenetrable strength, indomitable ferocity and immovable relentlessness, and ever growing hope that such tyrannies will end swiftly and painlessly.)

(I am sorry everyone, there is nothing about the situation that will make me say "everything is going to be okay", however, everything about the situation will make me say this)

(keep strong, keep fighting, keep your bronze up. We're in for a fight)

(May the gods protect and bless those who will suffer the most from this. May they give the gentle hand and guidance that the abrahamic God had refused to give. May the gods not only from the Hellenic Pantheon protect those in such great need, but every other Pantheon that has been forsaken for the sake of cruelty. May the manifestations of those who need protection manifest first. All those in the lbgt, all those of many ethnic and cultural minority groups, and the women that will be heavily affected the most.)

(there will be tough times, this will be a guarantee. But may these tough times the thickening of our bark, the deepening of our roots, and the flourishing of our leaves in which one they fall, they can only carry hope)

~Asterisk 🧿🗡️🛡️

[justamessedupdisneyprincess]

TW VENT

TW D*ATH THREATS, S*ICIDAL THOUGHTS, TRAUMA AND ABUSE

I JUST FEEL I NEED TO GET THIS OUT BEFORE GOING OFFLINE

Alright so…I think I am gonna go offline again for another long while, go back into hibernation. I was feeling good at first being back but I can’t help but feel anxious atm. Nothing bad happened to me (surprisingly), but I can’t help but always worry if I may somehow make a fool of myself or mess things up again. I actually did find out whilst scrolling through old onward posts that some of the girls who gave me a hard time had deactivated their accounts. I feel a bit safer in that regard. But it just sort of feels too good to be true you know? I can’t help but feel like there’s a danger looming somewhere.

Idk if it’s just my anxiety, trauma or if my gut is telling me something.

Before I go I just wanna say a few things. Thanks for showing me some support. I know I am not perfect, I am far from it. I have a horrible habit of overanalysing things and getting worked up for little to no reason. For that I am sorry and I am so so so sorry if I ever made any of you worry or even hurt any of you if I ever have any of my bad panic attacks. I have a terrible anxiety disorder, I am not using it as an excuse but just to try and explain myself. I am doing my best to get better and have finally found some therapy and new medication to help.

However I will say there have been times where my meltdowns were necessary, such as when I got called horrible names and got d*ath threats and saw posts with rumours about me or posts calling me “A disgusting freak who should get fucked.”. I think those ones are worthy of crying over because honestly who wouldn’t, anxiety or not? You would have to be inhumanly strong to feel nothing when dealing with all that.

I have a lot of trauma, even before the few mean girls on tumblr in the Onward fandom. I had been stuck in an abusive platonic relationship for a year and the falling out was rough. She got super vengeful and almost destroyed my life in ways I won’t get into. I had people I looked up too suddenly gaslight me and make fun of a scared teenage me who was seeking help when I felt suicidal. Literally an ENTITE fandom harassed me nonstop. I selfshipped with another character before but a lot of people were angry at me for that. They were so obsessed with their own ships that they saw me as something of an eyesore getting in the way of the ships they like, so they bully me for self shipping with him. Some even tried to manipulate me into self shipping with another character who I had no feelings for and giving up on my fictional ex so he can be shipped with another canon character. My abusive friend tried to do that with me and far worse constantly. The onward fandom actually really supported my self ship for the most part. I have nothing to do with that old fandom anymore but it did turn up on my dash and it was more of the same sort of old chaotic drama. It is literally the most toxic fandom on the fucking planet and it destroyed my love for that show. Hell, I even started blocking any blog related to it I see just to help myself feel safer! Part of why I did deactivate my old DA account was because I wanted to get away from all that. I did have a few fans who wanted me to keep drawing for it but I got threats almost daily as well. I wanted to focus on Onward but many didn’t exactly respect that. There was a lot more to why I deactivated but that’s the gist of it.

I won’t get into more details but you can probably understand where I’m coming from with all this. Trauma and an anxiety disorder don’t mix well AT ALL!

If I had to guess I think that is why I am still so fearful of being online. I fear something will go wrong. Either if it’s another bully or if I make another mistake.

I want to apologise to anyone if I have been annoying, stupid or anything like that. I am doing my best to recover and learn to cope with my mental health bit by bit. I just hope you can understand, forgive me and enjoy your life.

I am still drawing and writing as much as I can while offline. So when I do eventually come back it’s gonna be like an explosive of content from me LOL

I kinda feel like it helps too, it’s so it’s not like “when’s the next part coming, when’s the next part coming?” If I already have the next part ready and in the works. Idk, I’m just trying to figure out how to share my artwork while still managing my mental health.

Sorry for randomly venting, I just really really feel I needed to get it out there desperately. Again, thanks so much for showing me support!

I am definitely fucked up in the head but I am doing my best to move forward, it’s just kind of slow is all but it’s better than nothing right?

[limeade-l3sbian]

How do you cope with recovering from depression? It’s an odd question, no doubt, “why would I need to recover from getting better?”…

I’ve noticed when I’m not struggling with depression, the rare months or sometimes even a thankful year, I tend to have much higher suicidal tendencies. It’s like my energy and ability to look at life more rationally makes me less inclined to live. It’s probably a dumb thing to say, but when I’m going through depression, i’m too numb to make a plan for killing myself, but when I’m out of that suddenly I have all energy back and it seems possible, perhaps even easy.

I’m obviously trying to get out of this and I wonder if I’m alone in this experience. If this is something you or your followers deal with, what do you do in this situation?

Simply overcoming depression does at least not for me make me any more enthusiastic about life or the future. I want to reach a place where when the period of apathy passes i instead get lots of love for life.

You feel that way likely because the truth is there isn't any good reason to live. Greed and violence consume society. Women remain oppressed. Racism is still rampant. Death comes too quickly for those who cherish it and too slowly for those burdened by it. We could spend all night talking about how terrible the world is and I would agree with you because implying that the world is an inherently good place is bullshit.

However, implying that it is inherently a bad place is bullshit too.

I fully understand what you mean when you say it's almost worse when you're better because you can't even blame how you're feeling on the depression. I'm thinking clearly and I still want to die. Maybe this is just the truth. That's something I deal with every single day, anon. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about dying. I've told many professionals the exact same thing you're telling me and they all gave me half baked responses that I'd heard a million times and didn't want to hear one more time. The world is a very annoying and shitty place to me and, apparently, to you.

My greatest solace is two things. One: I know as little about what my future looks like as I do what comes after you die. But one suggests hope while the other ends my entire story. Regardless of what comes after death, you don't get a say in what happens now. Yeah, you could kill yourself tonight and you'd say "I don't care about what happens after I die" but of course you do. You're human. That's why your heart rate picks up when you REALLY think about killing yourself. It's not excitement. It's raw fear and your body goes into fight or flight against itself. What a terrible state to be in. What a terrible last feeling. You die, afraid.

But moving forward, despite all the bullshit is also scary too! Fuck. Paying taxes and bills? Finding love? What if I fuck it all up? Fuck, what if something terrible happens to me like I get assaulted or I get in a car accident at some point? Why would I stick around to let all this happen? From the ages of 10-12 I had a hard time sleeping because I was CERTAIN my family's home would be burglarized and I would be kidnapped, raped, and killed horrifically. That's a whole thing but just know that I thought that was a very real and very inevitable thing. And none of those things has ever happened to me, thankfully. Ever, anon. We never even got solicitors at our door, let alone a criminal through the window.

And you know what that was? Me not knowing jackshit about the future but predicating my disposition of life on my greatest fears. I thought I was gonna kill myself at 16 and then I didn't. I thought I was gonna kill myself at 18 and I didn't. You don't know shit, I don't know shit. None of us know SHIT. The future has far more to offer you than death, anon. In death, you die swallowed by your darkness. You push on, and you give yourself a chance.

Plus you're gonna die anyway. It's not like if you don't kill yourself now you'll live forever. If that was true, I would literally tell you to kill yourself because gross, no one (sane) wants to live forever.

Second thing! You're gonna die anyway (kinda spoiled that at the last bit but whatever). I truly take solace in the fact that I'm gonna die anyway. You might die tomorrow! You don't know! You could kill yourself (however you might plan that) and go through inevitable pain and fear. Or, you ride it out and get hit so fast and so hard by a bus next week that you never even register pain or fear. And you could argue that the more inhibited you live life (travel, try new things, meet new people, etc.) betters your chances of dying since staying inside only promises another day. So you might as well live freely and give the universe all the opportunities it has to kill you.

That's how I get on, anon, No bullshit.

There's no good reason to live because there is "no reason" to live. There's no reason to die either, so you might as well choose the one where you can eat honey buns and go on Tumblr and talk to awesome women like meeee. 💜💜💜

[polskasroka]

A Whole Other Kind of Curse

Chapters: 1/?

Fandom: Hades (Supergiant Games Video Games)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Relationships: Melinoë/Odysseus (Hades Video Game), Melinoë & Odysseus (Hades Video Game)

Characters: Melinoë (Hades Video Game), Odysseus (Hades Video Game), Moros (Hades Video Game), Hades (Hades Video Game), Chronos (Hades Video Game)

Additional Tags: Kidnapping, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Psychological Torture, Unrequited Love, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Warnings May Change

Summary:

Odysseus has been absent from the Crossroads long enough for Melinoë to start worrying. As it later turns out, he happened to have an awfully unlucky time in Erebus, after which he ended up at an exceptionally unpleasant audience with the Titan of Time himself.

Read chapter 1 on AO3 or below (4,378 words)!

Melinoë’s been fazed since the very moment she returned from shadow.

Once more, before she came back to the reality in the Crossroads, Chronos had drilled himself into her head and taunted her with his twisted words that should’ve meant nothing to her. Melinoë has heard him say far worse and more nonsensical things already and she really shouldn’t let him affect her as much as he did tonight.

You shall pay for all that you’re so desperately trying to achieve. Soon, my girl, you shall discover it yourself.

The goddess shakes her head as the words ring in her ears, although she’s already wide awake. Apart from the Titan’s message being annoying to the core, there is also something to it that sends a chill down Melinoë’s spine. There is something highly ominous about the delivery and Melinoë doesn’t think it can foretell anything good.

What is she supposed to do about that, though? Ignore it and kill Chronos again and again, until the day of a miracle and his ultimate demise comes?

The coward, he always manages to flee right before Melinoë’s about to cut him into pieces and shove him to the deepest pits of the entire creation. She’s never even managed to catch the tip of his pretentiously named scythe. This has to change. She knows it but when will it happen? That she can’t know.

Moros doesn’t know when asked about it, either.

“I certainly can sense it when the Titan is near his final moment and I’m always prepared to show him what inevitable doom means, but alas… he seems to evade me more often than not, which I regrettably have to admit.”

“It reminds me of the trouble that Odysseus would cause you, back when he was alive,” Melinoë says in a lighter tone, trying to cheer herself up. “You could never quite catch him, correct?”

“That’s right, Princess. However, I wouldn’t make that kind of a parallel myself. Chronos will never impress me enough to compare him to Master Odysseus.”

The admiration in Moros’ words warms Melinoë’s heart.

“It’s always good to hear that you have so much regard for him, my Lord. And Speaking of the Great Tactician – have you seen him recently?”

“No, I haven’t. He left his post two nights ago, saying he had to scout some area and assess the situation in person. If I may, why are you asking?” Moros says, curious and a tad worried.

“I’ve got a weird feeling about his absence, Lord Moros,” Melinoë admits, her voice shaky near the end of her utterance. “Anyway.” She rubs her arm with her hand. “I’ll be off. I have to collect Moon Dust from the cauldron and pick my plants… Could I ask you for a favour, my Lord?”

“Always, Princess.”

“Please, inform me when Odysseus returns to the Crossroads, if that’s possible?”

“I would love to but I’m afraid it’s not easy for me to find you if you’re not on the verge of dying.”

The spirits briefly abandon Melinoë but then Moros speaks up, piquing the goddess’ interest again.

“But if you take my pin with you, I shall find you with much more ease as soon as Master Odysseus is back here with new plans and strategies.”

“I’ll do that, then. Thank you, Lord Moros. Moonlight guide you.”

“And Night protect us.”

It’s not reasonable to speculate about Odysseus’ whereabouts, so Melinoë does it as little as she can. Not that it’s an easy task – her mind keeps getting clouded by that inkling at the back of her head, the one that has her wonder if the tactician isn’t in danger by any chance.

She hesitates before she ventures out into Erebus. It’s as if she’s afraid of what she may discover if she delves deeper into the woods. At the same time, it could be that Melinoë will find nothing of any matter there, in the forest, but does she really want to find out if that’s true? The seemingly safer option of going up to the Surface suddenly seems much more convenient than it used to a couple of nights ago.

Maybe that’s what Melinoë will do. Maybe getting away from the Underworld at least once in a while will cleanse her troubled soul. It might be that the fight with Eris will be less of a nuisance than it usually is.

So the Surface it is. In an instant, it feels as if the problem were gone, even though it isn’t gone at all. The goddess is more than aware of it but she pushes through the hordes of Lost Shades as if there were no tomorrow. It does help let some steam off. The thought that with each swing of Melinoë’s Axe Chronos’ armies are depleting in numbers also brightens up the goddess’ mood.

The victory against Polyphemus is exceptionally satisfying. This satisfaction quickly turns into the feeling of shame and guilt, though, for it’s not that Melinoë has just avenged somebody. Nobody’s dead yet after all.

Now that’s an exaggeration to be thinking in such categories so soon!

Melinoë halts her unleashed thoughts and leaves the area with an exhale of disbelief.

With yet another ship devoid of wretched souls, the boon from Hermes that Melinoë purchased on the previous vessel is finally delivered to her. The message that she receives from the God of Swiftness is surely something she wasn’t expecting.

“Hey there, M! Although you and the Goddess of Wisdom haven’t met yet, she’s sending you the following message: Let us take care of the Surface for now, Cousin. You must return to the Underworld as soon as you can. I don’t know what she means by that but I hope you do!”

Having chosen the blessing from Hermes, Melinoë briefly wonders what Athena might be trying to convey. After all, everyone is aware of the fact that Chronos is hiding there, in the House of Hades. The coward won’t even go up to the Surface to raise the spirits among his armies! So what could it be that Athena, out of all the other Olympians, thinks requires immediate attention?

Everything soon falls into place.

“No…!” Melinoë gasps, having put two and two together.

But she’s not going to give up or let some undead creatures just kill her. She’s only even more motivated to storm through the remaining decks, grab the supplies from Charon’s shop and face Eris at the beach.

Melinoë is determined to finish this run as quickly as she can, so she totally ignores Strife’s taunting. She’s not careless, though. She wants to spare herself Eris’ babbling that would continue if Melinoë allowed her to best her. No, this doesn’t happen. Not when Melinoë has other places to be. Not when the stakes have just risen even higher.

The flaps of her tent flutter when she rushes past them, drawing Moros’ attention.

“Princess!”

“Lord Moros,” Melinoë says quickly, stopping to a halt, “I apologise, but I have to go.”

“May I be of help?” he asks, always polite and ready to support the Princess.

“No, not really. I have to go alone. I think I know where Odysseus is.”

Doom’s eyes widen and he nods. Melinoë nods too.

“Proceed with care,” he adds.

“I will.”

Melinoë does proceed with care. Equipping only her most trusted weapon and the most useful keepsake, she begins her journey down to the Underworld. This time, slaying the Titan isn’t the only task that she has to fulfil. This time, she has to find Odysseus somewhere there, in the ever-changing chambers of her father’s realm. She’ll manage, she has no other choice. After all, this is also her realm.

The first boon being from Hestia only adds to the Princess’ motivation. It makes her believe that her newest endeavour may actually end successfully.

No other outcome is allowed.

The young goddess can’t be reckless now. Thus, despite being in a rush, Melinoë’s attacks are calculated and she succeeds at avoiding the majority of her opponents’ strikes. This kind of fervour doesn’t go unnoticed by Hecate. Melinoë really doesn’t want to be explaining everything to her now and, luckily, she doesn’t have to – the Witch only praises the goddess for her visible power and determination.

Melinoë switches the keepsakes between the regions quickly, knowing exactly which gift to choose for which area. Maximum efficacy is highly required during this run.

So far, everything has been going well. Beating Scylla and the Sirens wasn’t too big of a problem and releasing Cerberus from the miasma filth is always relieving for the soul.

“Go find your master now,” Melinoë tells him when he’s about to return back to the Underworld, to his home. Before that happens, however, he turns his three heads and looks at her. She stares back into the three pairs of eyes, one pair after another, and thinks that there is some kind of empathy and trust glittering in them. A split-second sparkle of anticipation also flickers in his soul-piercing gaze and it clutches Melinoë’s heart.

Her chest tightens too. It’s almost as if she couldn’t breathe, and the sensation only gets worse the closer she is to the drop to Tartarus. She even hesitates before jumping down onto the floor below.

Melinoë takes a deep breath, drinks from the fountain and grabs the Knuckle Bones from the display case. Her fist clenches around them and then she releases them into her purse.

As always, satyrs, crawlers and goldwraiths swarm around her and she yells in fury while killing them one by one. Heat rises onto her cheeks and her soul suddenly feels so heavy. She’s three chambers away from Charon’s shop and thus, Chronos, and she hasn’t found any signs of Odysseus being around here yet.

Melinoë doesn’t allow herself to believe that the Titan is smart enough to purposefully hide Odysseus from her. Quite the contrary – knowing him, he’d boast about having captured a Shade like him, the Great Tactician himself (provided that Chronos is at least partially aware of Odysseus’ great deeds).

It frustrates her to the core and she moves on to clear another chamber. The hope of reaching the tactician in this maze of rooms is decreasing rapidly. If that’s any consolation, Melinoë wills herself to believe that, in the end, Chronos will brag about his latest catch once she enters the House of Hades.

Another consolation is that she’s about to enter the chamber where her father is held. The sight of him always manages to put a smile on her face, no matter how small said smile is. They both wish they had met in other circumstances but they have to live with what they have. Both of them always cherish these elusive minutes of their short conversations.

“Father…!” she says, sprinting into the chamber.

“Cerberus, look who it is…”

The three-headed dog woofs quietly and Melinoë can swear that she’s just seen the beast wag his tail. She still won’t dare to pet him but she’s happy that he doesn’t see her as an enemy.

“Whenever you return… so does a portion of my strength,” Hades continues, his voice hushed as always. As if he were afraid to disturb the current Lord of the House.

“I’m glad to hear that, Father. Before I go, I need you to help me with something else.”

“I’m afraid that my blessings are all I can do for you in this situation.”

“It’s not about the blessings. Tell me, have you seen–”

“Goddess?” goes a faint and raspy voice from somewhere behind Melinoë.

Her heart stops and air gets stuck in her lungs. She whips around and can’t believe how she hasn’t noticed that her father isn’t alone in this chamber (excluding Cerberus and the big boulder).

Melinoë freezes for a moment there, absolutely stricken with the fact that Odysseus is right there, held in Chronos’ captivity just like her father. Indeed, she suspected she’d stumble across the Shade somewhere in Tartarus or the House of Hades itself but… not here.

“Odysseus!”

Having snapped out of the initial shock, Melinoë casts an apologetic look at her father and then crosses the distance to kneel next to her missing tactician and help him sit up as she notices him struggling to do it by himself. She apologises to him at least ten times when she hears him hiss in pain.

When Odysseus’ back is safely propped against a wall, Melinoë sees how roughly and cruelly he must’ve been treated. Any faint colour leaves her features upon the sight of the Shade’s torn garments, dust and bruises on his skin and an ugly cut across his cheek. Apart from that, it takes him a moment to collect himself and recognise the surroundings and when he does so, a shroud of sorrow falls onto him. Only a little spark of joy remains in his eye, one evoked by Melinoë being there in one piece.

“You know this Shade, Daughter?” Hades’ voice booms from behind Melinoë.

“Of course, I do. Odysseus and Hecate… they brought me up and have been preparing me for the clash with Chronos my whole life,” she speaks in a soft manner.

“I can attest to that,” the tactician says, his own voice still hoarse but clearer than a while ago. “I’d love to introduce myself properly and show you my respect in a more appropriate way, my Lord, alas…” The sentence ends with a pained grunt, one that shatters Melinoë’s heart.

“There shall be time for that later, Odysseus.”

Melinoë grants her father a grateful look and then turns her attention back to the man in question.

“What happened, Od? How did you end up… here?” she asks, carefully removing grains of golden sand from his cheek there where the cut is. It doesn’t look good to start with, so the goddess doesn’t want its state to worsen. “Did Chronos do all this to you?”

“Aye. But fret not, Goddess, for you know that I’ve been through worse.”

“Nonsense.” Melinoë shakes her head and then notices the shackles around the Shade’s wrists. “Let me get rid of these.”

Try as she might, the chains won’t even budge.

“Why… Why isn’t it working?” she wonders, annoyed and hopeless. “Can it be that they’re like yours, Father?”

“Yes. Unfortunately,” Hades says. “Only the Titan can take them off. Or they’ll break on their own once the one who’s put them on the other, is dead.”

“I’ll make sure of that!” Melinoë controls her incoming rage and calms the storm down before it even arrives. Thankfulness present in Odysseus’ gaze has the goddess’ lips curl into a brief, little smile. “But I won’t leave until you tell me everything. I need to keep the Crossroads safe. And I need to get you out of here too.”

“It may take a while.”

“I’m all ears. Time can wait, whether he wants it or not.”

“Well, in this case…” Odysseus coughs and clears his throat. “I happened to have an awfully unlucky time in Erebus, after which I ended up at an exceptionally unpleasant audience with the Titan of Time himself…”

‐---------------------------

Recently, Odysseus has been hearing a lot about the enemy’s armies drawing closer and closer to the Crossroads. Concerning, to say the least. All reports that the tactician receives mention that information, so there’s nothing else left for Odysseus but to go and see what is really going on out there.

And he thought he’d never ever go to a war again.

Of course, Hecate did give him a choice. He didn’t have to join her and help her raise Melinoë. Yet, the Witch has always claimed that, in her eyes, the young goddess is simply a weapon against Chronos. Odysseus has always regarded Melinoë as someone much more than just a weapon.

Melinoë has her ways around Erebus and Odysseus has his. They sometimes overlap with Artemis’ ones but he’d actually love to come across Melinoë once in a while. Still, he never purposefully looks for any traces that she leaves. She’s got a different task and shouldn’t be distracted while trying to fulfil it.

Even though the tactician has his paths, he alters them quite often, so that he doesn’t risk getting caught while traversing the dense forest. Despite the proximity of the Crossroads, Chronos’ bolder servants tend to reach the boundaries of Hecate’s safe haven. Not that they’d be able to enter it but it’s always better to be safe than sorry. After all, Odysseus can’t know what kind of spell is protecting the Crossroads and whether the Titan’s armies can eventually work their way around it or not.

Odysseus’ vantage points are either located on small hills or rock formations, or trees (which are his least favourite ones).

The best spot overlooks a valley and is hidden among Erebus’ thicket, so it can’t be reached too easily. That’s where Odysseus is heading. From there, he’ll be able to assess the situation himself. While he knows that his scouts are shades of other warriors or strategists, they’re never going to be him. They’re not as whole as he is or seems to be.

Guided by Selene’s silver light that makes its way through to Erebus, Odysseus finds his way out of the underbrush and lands on the most convenient rock, his usual spot there. Now, he can observe and think.

Surprisingly enough, he doesn’t immediately see anything that could be considered high danger to the Crossroads. It’s true that Chronos’ legions have moved forward in a certain area in comparison to how it was the last time Odysseus saw it with his own eyes. But the Crossroads’ forces have advanced in a different spot, which more or less evens the score.

Not that it’s something that one shouldn’t worry about. It’s just… less exciting or dire than Odysseus expected it to be.

The fact that he doesn’t make it back to the Crossroads safely is not exciting at all, though.

He leaves the spot crouching, so as to avoid being noticed but it fails him anyway. A thick branch falls onto him and darkness shrouds his vision. Maybe he’d free himself in the few moments of drowsy consciousness if it weren’t for the satyrs constantly keeping an eye on him and making sure he blacks out sooner than he comes to.

A hard floor is what Odysseus wakes up on, which doesn’t help his rather disoriented state. His head hurts from the hit and his bones ache from being dragged all the way to here. Wherever here is.

He thought that injuries would hurt less when he’s dead but apparently, that’s not the case. Even the grains of sand that dig into the palms of his hands when he tries to lift himself up leave stinging indents in his skin. He brushes the specks off but, as it happens with sand, it takes a long while to go off completely, so the annoying itch remains.

As soon as his vision starts working properly, unblurred and focused, Odysseus raises his aching head and the ridiculous grandiosity of the place makes him dizzy. The obnoxiously shiny golden adornments that he spots all over the room increase the throbbing in his cranium and he has to squint if he wants to keep scanning his surroundings.

The sand that sticks to his hands and knees is all over the floor. Odysseus follows the bigger mounds of it with his half-closed eyes until a pool filled with golden sand comes into his view. That surely won’t be an escape route.

The tactician looks forward again. He also accidentally glances beneath and what he sees makes him freeze. Pushing some sand to the side, Odysseus reveals more of the floor, which is not tile – it’s glass. And underneath that glass, there are mechanisms, clockworks. Then, in an instant, he shoots his gaze back up and acknowledges all the statues and portraits on and against the walls. He acknowledges the tiles behind a throne that depict a certain figure. A child would fathom who it is.

Just as he thinks that the headache’s ebbing away, the sudden sizzling that resounds in the room makes it worse anew. Blinding whiteness erupts inside and causes Odysseus to squeeze his eyes shut. He needs it to go away, he needs the piercing white behind his eyelids to stop. He does his best to stay silent but he soon can’t help but yelp pitifully, earning himself a mean chuckle that worms its way into his head. It’s haunting and Odysseus sits back on his haunches to hold his head in his hands, gritting his teeth, inwardly convincing himself that it’s all going to pass in a moment.

Much to his surprise, it does. It’s as if a gust of fresh air is breathed into his soul.

Odysseus runs his hand down his face and blinks a couple of times, cleaning his vision of any remaining white spots, refocusing on what he can see. On who he can see right in front of him, when he dares to lift his gaze up a little bit.

The Shade lets out a long exhale, concentrated on composing himself. His hands, clenched into fists, are now resting atop his thighs. With his head still bowed, the tactician’s putting all of his effort into staying calm and collected for as long as he’s able. After all, he’s in no position to be grumbling or shouting, not when it’s the Titan of Time sat upon the throne, right there before him. Before the mere Shade that Odysseus is.

He's aware of how much of a lost cause he is. He is Chronos’ foe and the Titan has to know this. But no matter how dreadful this whole situation is, in his heart, Odysseus will never respect him. He may be forced onto his knees for the rest of eternity, but in no timeline will he honour the one who’s done so much harm and caused so much pain to the goddess Odysseus cherishes the most. The goddess he’s ready to worship more zealously than anyone else.

“Bringing a king down on his knees could never fail to satisfy me,” the Titan finally announces, proud and malicious. “The king of all gods shall too kneel before me sooner than he thinks. So shall my granddaughter.”

Odysseus’ eyes are sharp and fiery when he lifts his head up and locks his look with Chronos’ one. His throat grows dry in an instant, which he promptly ignores along with the dread creeping into his mind and reason. He still says nothing, even though the Titan sends him the most infuriating smirk known to man.

“My loyal informants have not failed me, it seems. You know who she is. Thus, you have confirmed my suspicions as to who you are, Shade. The so-called Great Tactician, former mortal king, Odysseus, who could neither predict nor evade a trap set for him in a place he should know best.”

The words are spewed out in a very dignified manner. Unnervingly serene. Almost lazy.

They’re to make Odysseus give in and break the eye contact but this is the last thing he’s willing to do. He’s horrified, yes, for he knows what it means to be dealing with an angry god – and now he’s facing a titan, his luck! But he won’t let the fear overbear him. He’ll get through this, he has to. For Melinoë.

“Nothing to say?” Chronos prompts, faking concern.

“Ah, quite the contrary, milord! In all my respect towards you,” of which I have none, Odysseus thinks, “I simply couldn’t bring myself to interrupt you. But now that I’m permitted to speak, I must apologise, for I’m about to rain on your parade, as we, mortals, say.”

Chronos’ eyelid twitches. Odysseus’ parched throat burns as he swallows.

“How can you, milord, be certain that my being here or not having evaded the trap you’ve mentioned isn’t a part of a greater scheme of mine? An opportunity for the Nightmare Goddess and the whole Olympus to strike while your attention is directed elsewhere?”

The bottom end of the Titan’s scythe smashes against the floor, the sound echoing in the whole room. Odysseus’ eyes flicker to the staff for a split second as Chronos rises from his throne. He chuckles lowly, menacingly, as he slowly approaches the Shade who’s feeling smaller and smaller the closer the Titan is getting.

Odysseus is shuddering, his clenched fists feel sweaty. A cold shiver runs down his spine and there’s no air left in his lungs. Or there is a sensation that is akin to being completely breathless. All of the tactician’s senses are telling him to run but where is he supposed to run to? He’s not going to beat Chronos in a house that belongs to him now.

“I will not play games with a Shade like you,” Chronos announces, his voice dropping and ringing in Odysseus’ ears near the end of the utterance. “Do you think I’m gullible enough to believe you, oh Great Tactician?”

Said tactician’s guts twist and a wave of horrid anxiety makes him sick and close to fainting. Then, he lets out an alarmed gasp when, all of a sudden, the Titan’s scythe’s pressed against his neck, right underneath his chin. Chronos pushes it even farther, making Odysseus’ chest heave, making him back away from the pressure as he’s now forced to keep looking upwards, straight at the Titan.

“I have not been analysing the timeline of the former king of Ithaca, son of Laërtes, to fall for his wily tricks and grand words at a moment such as this. Do not expect me to be misled. I have learnt about everything you’ve done and said.” The Titan stands tall, his glare full of contempt. “To grieve over 20 years… Certainly, you have not yet comprehended the true might of Time.”

There’s a sick tilt to Chronos’ lips as he elicits a cough from Odysseus. He may be dead but the sensation of being choked still produces a reflexive response.

“However, I can be merciful, unlike some of my children. You must know who I’m talking about.”

“How could I not?” Odysseus seethes.

“Good. Now, if you’re willing to cooperate…”