#and that he did all this for Tessa and because he loved doing this with her is just very precious

[inkdemonapologist]

*slides with a rare pair*

I think the fandom is generally not as big in rarepairs but I ended up shipping Joey with Nathan even after TIOL, I honestly believed they could have a good chemistry together. Either as a fluffy ship for joey to have a good pull on him from acting impulsively (since nathan is confirmed good) or as a legit evil business partners thing. The way Nathan was characterized in TIOL gives the impression he didn't know everything about joey but still was somehow very fond of him.

((randomly throwing that out there just because I think about it so much))

Sorry if its random ^^"

Golly gosh hang on OP I just need a minute to contemplate the idea of Joey x Nathan as a rarepair. LIKE… a majority of people I know in fandom agree that they had SOMETHING going on, so it feels like it shouldn’t be one, aND YET… I HAVE NEVER SEEN CONTENT FOR IT….. apparently i need to draw Nathan smooching Joey to fill this void……

Anyway, I DEFINITELY AGREE that the idea that Nathan had Feelings for Joey is really not hard to make a case for. You just point to that one TIOL footnote where Joey is like “Nathan likes creative people, he secretly wishes he were like us” and Nathan’s like “no I don’t, I just Like Joey So Much that I enjoy his creativity, isn’t it just like him to miss the compliment” and then congratulations you’ve made an utterly convincing case even BEFORE you get to the part where Nathan suddenly starts up an entire animation studio to keep his old friend’s dream alive, or that Nathan was someone who was close enough to Joey to “get the call” upon Joey’s death, or any number of examples of Nathan’s tremendously fond teasing in the other footnotes of TIOL. The little teasey note when Joey says "I always make fun of you!" and describes Nathan's face as "looks annoyed but isn't really" and Nate's like "yeah that's accurate". Nathan’s love for Joey is blatant and obvious, enough so that I was quietly shipping them even when I was part of the chunk of fandom that expected Nathan to be sinister; it’s just up to interpretation whether it was romantic, and whether it was requited.

Admittedly I do chafe a bit at the binary morality of “confirmed good” – most of what we can surmise from BatDR is that Nathan was Genuine. He genuinely worked hard, he genuinely loved his son, and he genuinely believed in Joey. He’s also, like, a mega rich guy who is obliviously putting a lot of that money to work in covering up his famous friend’s abuse and exploitation and Actual Murder of employees, so. No matter how well-intentioned he might be, if you're as rich and famous as Nathan Arch you don't get to just Not Realise Employees Can Be Exploited without being a little bit complicit for not looking harder. I don’t think it has to be an either/or of Good vs Evil – Nathan just strikes me as a well-intentioned and genuine guy who also has some serious blindspots, who maybe would just keep making excuses for his good friend as he learned more and more of the truth. And its INTERESTING when you consider him re-publishing TIOL in hopes of showing what he believed Joey was really like -- the charming man he liked so much. How did Nathan read TIOL and come to that conclusion? Joey's insecurity bleeds off every page, and Nathan admits in the footnotes that Joey makes things up, doesn't like to be corrected, might be lying in some of his stories, and has a habit of talking his way into what he wants even when he shouldn't. Either Nathan was SO smitten that he was completely blind to Joey's.... joeyness, or these were qualities that endeared Joey to him. He liked Joey being a bit of a scamp!

I’ve said before that my most deeply held unprovable BatDR headcanon is that Nathan was having an affair with Joey, and Wilson found out about it but Tessa never did, but I think that’s mostly fun for the characterisation it gives Wilson. When it comes to Nathan and Joey themselves, I absolutely headcanon Nathan’s affection as romantic, but I think I was more intrigued by their relationship back when it seemed like Nathan was going to be sinister! Like, if Nathan really had screwed Joey over in order to gain control of the Ink Machine like in some of those early theories, it would be delightful if all his footnotes were actually still true. If it's not just a performative “OH YES MY POOR DEAR DEAD FRIEND JOEY cool grab his stuff” motivation, but that the fondness is real, it just didn’t stop him – "you understand, old friend, business is business!" Obviously the story didn't turn out that way, but I think the possibility really grabbed me, haha.

It is kinda funny, though, that the way Nathan’s characterisation has turned out, you wonder what made Joey interested in him. Was it just the positive attention? Was it just his money? Nathan seems like such an easy mark (see: his reaction to the Lottie letters), and Joey isn’t very complimentary to him in TIOL, but he’s also reasonably fond, and brings Nathan up a few times as someone he counted on for advice that he actually took. Joey felt Nathan didn’t really understand him, but he seemed to value his friendship. This largely guileless, earnest guy who’s characterised as hard working……… who else do we know….. who might fit that description…………………… Joey Drew Stop Getting Involved With Married Men Challenge,

[tutuandscoot]

So I watched Moulin Rogue (the movie) for the first time last night and among many other thoughts I just want to say how beautifully Scott captured the essence of Christian and his love for Satine..

It’s always difficult to take a movie or a ballet and squish it down into a 4min skating program and make it make sense for everyone- whether they are familiar with the source material or not.

Baz Lurmann himself is on record saying how wonderful and inspiring their interpretation of his characters and story were so that says A LOT about them as performers and artists and actors as well as their choreographers, costumers etc..

But I was just so drawn to Christian and all I could see in Ewan McGregor was that same aching, overwhelming love for Satine Scott has for Tessa when they perform it. The initial falling in love, the jealousy Scott acts so beautifully by delicately bridging Christian’s internal, emotional jealousy with the duke’s anger and abusive jealousy, then finally the utter devastation when she dies.

In the movie when they sing Come What May and they are right in each other’s faces pouring their hearts out, screaming at each other almost, that’s the exact same feeling you get from TS when they skate so close together with their foreheads pressed against each other’s and they are nearly on the verge of tears wanting desperately to be one (not just in MR for that matter).

I’ve said it before but it can’t ever be said enough: TS are just on another planet in terms of their performance and emotion and chemistry- both in and out of character. Their sport did not require this level of depth from them as performers- if it did the judging system would reflect it and they would out score everyone 3times over. It’s also just what the general public couldn’t grasp in them that when they skate it is not their real life. They are actors, they are artists. They just don’t perform in a setting where the difference between story and real life can be understood like say in a movie or on a stage. But the ice rink was their film set, their stage, and they got to tell these beautiful stories together and have these other worldly experiences, then go home and be themselves and love and adore each other in a very different way that is no less special than what people assumed based on an exquisite acting performance- I will protest forever that is it even more special.

While it makes me and so many others cringe to think about what they have been put through and what has been said about them, the way they acknowledge it-at least publicly, that people believing them means they have done their job well, well that at least to me means they have done it better than any actor ever has because people refused to believe these two weren’t actually in love. THAT is how good they were, and not to belabour the point, but NO ONE will ever be as good as them.

[park-carstairs]

I saw a Reddit post that said that we really don't know Magnus' birth name and all I could think of is -why do you want to know his birth name?-

We already know so much about Magnus that makes him *him*.

We know that he was taught everything about being a warlock by ragnor fell

We know that he spent most of his teenage years with the silent brothers

We know that he saved Catarina from being burned at the stake

We know that he helped Will partly because he felt guilty for not helping his father

We know that he helped Jocelyn despite hating everything that valentine had done to downworlders

We know that he takes pride in watching Clary grow up

We know that he cares so much about Raphael

We know that he loved Camille despite everything she did

We know that he had even considered giving up his immortality to live and grow old with Alec

We know that he helped the tmi gang for free because he was fond of them and he loved Alec.

We know Thule Magnus would rather die than turn into a demon.

We know that Magnus was ready to help Simon grieve his friends once they grew old and died.

We know that Magnus was the shoulder that Tessa cried on when Will died, and he will do it again when Jem dies.

We know that Magnus was willing to do anything just for Julian and Emma to be together

We already know Magnus inside and out, knowing the name given to him by the person who makes both his fondest and his most painful memories won't change anything.

[fangirlfrom-hell]

"My daddy has to fight some bad guys". || Jay Halstead x reader and daughter

*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly delated my blog 🫠

You woke up earlier than everybody in your house to get everything ready for everyone. Jay would usually follow you a few minutes later and you two would make breakfast and get your daughter ready for school together, along with other morning stuff. This wasn't the day, your husband had fallen asleep and you were doing everything by yourself, trying not to make a lot of noise. You knew he was working a tough case and had come back quite late from work the night before, so you didn't want to wake him up. Even when he didn't want to admit it, he was tired as hell and needed to rest.

You were in the kitchen starting to cook breakfast when you felt his arms hugging you from the back.

-"Did I wake you up?" You asked. -"I was trying not to".

-"I didn't feel you by my side and I couldn't fall asleep again". He answered into your ear and then kissed your neck as he continued talking. -"I'm sorry I haven't been around. We closed this case last night, what's left is a bunch of paperwork. My hope is to be back home early tonight and...". You turned around to hug him back and interrupted him with a short kiss. He rushed to finish his sentence with a heavy breathing : "...I can make it up for you", then proceeded to tenderly kiss your lips as he held you as tight as he could with one of his arms, while fervently holding your head with his other hand, finger all tangled in your hair, pulling it a bit.

Due to the case Jay was working on, you two had barely seen each other during the last week and a half, so things were heating up fast. Suddenly, for both of your displeasure, an alarm interrupted the moment.

-"Time to wake her up". You said having trouble separating from him.

-"I'll go". Jay took your phone to turn off the alarm. -"I'm driving her to school too".

-"Hey, Jay!" You took his hand before letting him leave the room. -"You do remember her Father's Day Festival, right?".

-"Next friday, 10:30, sure".

-"I was thinking...maybe you should talk to her and explain that...of course you will be there, but if you are not able to make it is due to your work".

-"But I will be there".

-"I know, I know, it's just...we never know when a case might pop up. Remember the Spring Festival?".

-"Oh. The bank robbery right before it...".

-"Yes, that's what I mean. That time was easy because I was there, but this time I won't...".

-"I will talk to her". He said after a few seconds of silence. -"But I'll be there, no matter what".

That day, Tessa and her class made a craft for their fathers. All the little kids were drawing in a small paper square that would become a keychain for Father's Day. Some of them were drawing hearts, others were doing stick figures. Tessa drew her dad carrying her over his shoulders and a bunch of hearts around. Her artwork was a little abstract, but understandable for a 5 year old.

-"All right". Ms. Luna said in a sweet voice. Tessa really loved her teacher. -"I am going to take your drawings and we will give them back to our dads as a key chain during the festival!".

-"My daddy said he will come, but he's working and if he doesn't show up it is because he has to fight some bad guys. Bad guys don't respect days or time". Tessa rushed to repeat what Jay tried to explain to her earlier in the morning when he was taking her to school.

-"It's ok". Her teacher laughed a bit. -"Sometimes parents can't make it and it's ok. That doesn't mean they don't want to or that they don't love us".

The class rehearsed the song they would sing at intervals throughout the rest of the day. Tessa never missed the opportunity to repeat the information going around her head: "My dad said he's coming, but if he's not here it means he's working" or "My daddy is fighting the bad guys and bad guys they don't respect days or time" or "He will be here, but if he's not here, that means he's on the streets. He makes Chicago safe". Her friends were amazed whenever she repeated those statements. She did understand what her father told her, but she didn't really comprehend.

The day was here. You dropped Tessa at school, she was all excited. Before she entered the building you reminded her: "If it happens that daddy is not here or he's late, remember he's fighting the bad guys".

Jay was already in the bullpen, everything was strangely calmed. He had talked with Voight about going out to Tessa's school and he gladly agreed.

-"Today is the day isn't it?" Hailey asked Jay as she entered the coffee room.

-"Yeah". He smirked. -"If nothing else intervenes".

-"Let's stay positive". She said remembering what had happened last Spring Festival.

It was 8:30, the day had just started when Trudy came upstairs with an urgent case.

-"That's just my luck". Jay said, rushing downstairs with his partner.

-"Let's try to make it quick". Hailey answered by putting on her coat.

At school, the kids were getting ready to go outside to start the festival. Parents were gathering outside of the building, waiting to get inside.

Students from all schools were lining up around the court. Their parents were supposed to meet them and be in front of their kid's group to hear them sing.

-"Is your dad here?" One of Tessa's friends asked.

-"I can't see him". She answered standing on tiptoe. -"But it's ok, it's because he had to fight the bad guys".

All the kids waved their fathers with excitement, some of them ran to hug them before starting the show. Jay didn't make it, but Tessa wasn't feeling bad about it...yet.

When the song finished, all the kids jumped into their fathers arms and gave them the craft they made in class as a gift for them. Tessa stood in her place, not being able to hold her tears. She was crying in silence, so between the noise and excitement around the little girl, nobody noticed her until a few minutes later. As soon as her teacher saw her, she ran towards her and hugged her tight.

-"It's ok, honey. It's ok. Your dad wanted to be here with you". She said in a very sweet and calmed voice. -"Remember he is fighting the bad guys, you said that before ''.

Some parents were moved watching the scene, but there was nothing they could do. Ms. Johnson, the school's principal, noticed the situation from afar and she joined as soon as she could. By only moving her lips, trying not to be heard, she asked Tessa's teacher if the little girl's father wasn't there. She shaked her head in disapproval when the teacher answered with a sorry face.

-"We can call your dad, Tess. That way you can hear his voice".

-"But, Ms. Johnson, he's fighting the bad guys". Ms. Luna intervened.

-"Oh!" She understood. -"Ok, but we can call him later, we'll tell him to come so you can give him your present. Would you like that?".

The little girl was an emotional mess, but agreed with her head, even though she wasn't really listening to what the adults were saying.

The emergency call for the intelligence team ended up in a shooting and that delayed detective Halstead. As soon as he finished with interviews and all the bureaucracy after this kind of situation, he ran off.

-"Go, go, go". Hailey rushed. -"I cover you".

Jay drove his truck as fast as he could, siren on. It wasn't a police emergency, but it was an emergency after all, he could deal with the consequences later. He parked in the first spot he found, even if it wasn't merely in front of the school and ran as fast as he could in a police mode to get to his baby girl. It was until he entered the building that he noticed he was still wearing the vest, gun and badge on his hip, but didn't care.

-"There he is!" Ms. Johnson pointed to Tessa's father.

-"Come on! Come on!" Ms. Luna took the little girl's hand and started running towards her dad.

-"I'm so sorry". Jay took Tessa in his arms and carried her holding her as tight as he could. She was too emotionally drained to react.

Kids around were already saying goodbye to their parents, going back to their classrooms.

-"We'll give you some time alone". Ms. Johnson informed Jay and he muttered a "thank you".

-"You can go back to the classroom when you feel ready". Ms. Luna told her student.

-"I hate the bad guys". Tessa managed to say when they were finally alone.

-"Me too". Her father said. -"I'm really, really sorry I didn't hear you sing, but I'm here right now". He wiped the tears from her cheeks.

-"I did it real good, you missed it". She said playing with the key chain in her hands.

-"I bet you did". Jay chuckled. -"What do you have there?".

-"It's a present for you. I made it for you". She extended her short arm to give it to her dad.

-"For me? Is it for my keys? I love it!"

-"It's you and me and lots of hearts. I drew it myself".

-"I can see that. It's beautiful. Thank you, sweetie". Jay's phone started ringing and he sighed when he read the text messages.

-"I have to go back to work".

-"But I don't want you to go". She started crying again.

Ms. Johnson came into the scene to help Tessa go back to her class" -"Daddy has to go back to work, sweetie. Ms. Luna and your friends are waiting for you, let's go". And she took her tenderly in her arms as her crying grew louder.

-"It's all right". Jay reassured her with a kiss. -"I love you. I'll see you at home, ok?". And she disappeared through the door.

He peeked through the classroom window to check on her before departing. He witnessed how Ms. Luna was successfully calming her down and felt a little bit more relaxed to go.

-"Thank you for coming". Ms. Johnson told him with a smile. -"For real".

With a heavy heart, he got into his truck and before turning it on, he hung the keychain in his keys. He inspected the tiny drawing and smiled before going back to the bullpen.

Thanks for reading. If you liked it, it would help my soul if you give it a ♡, comment or share. 😌♡

[propertyofyoutube]

Couldn’t resist a bad boy - EXPLICIT

Summary: you're an English major... so is the bad boy of the school, Colby Brock. What happens when the professor pairs you for an assignment after a heated discussion between the two of you during the lecture. (Heavily inspired by the after books)

WARNINGS: SMUT 18+, filth, oral, eating out, sucking, passionate but turned kinda rough sex, lots of fluff.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

"Okay!" The professor shouted loudly to calm the class, ready for the lecture. Everyone quickly quietened down, giving the professor their full attention. You pulled out your iPad as you set it up on the table in front of you. "So... I like to presume you all did the reading." The professor said as the major of the class nodded their heads, including you. "Good." The professor stood for a moment looking out at the class. "So... did Anna Todd make you feel all of those feelings?" He said whilst lightly tapping his stomach and a smirk across his face.

The class giggled when suddenly the large double doors at the back opened, causing half the class to turn and look. But you didn't, you knew exactly who was late, and disrupting the class, as per usual.

"Ahh, Mr Brock... how nice of you to join us!" The professor said sarcastically as you rolled your eyes, for some reason, just because bad boy Colby Brock is a genius when it comes to writing, he gets away with just about everything. And you couldn't stand it. The complete disregard for everyone else who actually needed to listen and learn, made your blood boil at the thought of him.

"I wouldn't miss my favourite class with my favourite professor now, would I?" Colby said confidently as he bounced down the steps and found a seat.

The professor laughed as he waved his hand, basically letting Colby off Scott free once again. "Anyway... the complex and hurt character, Hardin Scott, living such a torturous life." The professor said as you couldn't help but scoff slightly at his comment. He stopped, looking in your direction, "do you disagree, miss y/l/n?"

You looked up at the professor, you tend to keep your opinions in the class usually, so getting called on was something you were not used to. You sat up straighter, clearing your throat before you spoke, "look, I get Hardin didn't have it easy growing up after what happened to his mom..." you sighed, "but come on. He was constantly ruining something good with a girl he supposedly loved, because of what? Each time, he was just being a dick and needed to get a grip!" You said with a chuckle as there class sat silently listening to your point.

Suddenly there was a chuckle coming from across the lecture hall, "seriously?"

You turned your head to see Colby looking down at the book sat on his desk with a smirk on his face. Your frustration instantly building.

The professor looked at Colby with a smile, knowing that this was the start of a passionate debate, "and what do you think, Mr Brock?" He said as he leaned against his podium.

Colby rolled his eyes before sitting up, looking directly at you. His eye contact, even from so far away made you nervous, you were always invisible until this moment. "I personally think that Tessa was the problem..." Colby said with a smirk, knowing he was going to wind you up, "let's be honest. She just couldn't handle that when it came to Hardin, not everything was about her!"

You couldn't believe what he was saying as your mouth fell wide open, he did what he wanted, he was getting under your skin, "not everything was about her? Hello... did you read the books? The whole thing is about Hardin being better... for her. Everything is about her to him, and she knew that, but that didn't excuse Hardin being a whiny little bitch, crying over his OWN actions!"

Colby scoffed, he couldn't help but let out a slight chuckle as he raised his eyebrows, "no... Tessa, was just sad that she used to be little miss invisible nerd, but she couldn't resist the charm of a bad boy." He said with a smirk.

The look on his face made you even more angry as you glared at him, "Hardin was lucky to have Tessa who kept giving him chance after chance, when if it were me, I wouldn't let him come within 2 feet of me if he wanted to keep his balls." You said as you were clearly projecting your feelings on something or should you say someone else.

Colby was taken back for a moment by your comment as his smirk grew wider, "well then, I guess Hardin was a lucky man." He smiled wider at you, knowing that he really got under your skin.

Just as you were about to speak, the professor cut in, "Now this is the result of a good book!" He said excitedly, "and is a pretty nice Segway into this weeks assignment..." your head quickly snapped to the professor, "you're going to work in pairs to write an in-depth summary, of why each of the characters were the their own enemy during the book." You closed your eyes tightly because you just knew that he was going to-... "y/n and Colby. You guys can finish this debate in your assignment." He said with a smirk. You gave the professor a look as Colby looked over at you, the biggest smile appearing on his face, "have fun." The professor said with a slightly patronising smile.

The rest of the lecture went down smoothly, but all you could think about was wandering how were you supposed to write an essay, with a man who you can't stand to be around. The professor allocated the rest of their pairs just in time for the bell to go.

You wasted no time, as you sighed picking up your bag, refusing to even pack your things away. You grabbed your iPad and notebook quickly heading through the crowd of people, straight out the door. You hadn't noticed an excited Colby trying to keep up with you. You stepped into the hall as the first girl waiting near the door spoke as you passed, "good luck trying to get work done with him around." She winked. You just gave her a look before shaking your head and continuing on your walk.

"Yo! Wait up!" Colby called as he tried to make his way through the corridor filled with students. You just rolled your eyes, refusing to even turn back, your focus glued to the glass doors just up ahead.

Suddenly, Colby appeared next to you as he caught his breath matching your quick walking speed, "well how lucky am I to get a partner who power walks through corridors!" Colby said sarcastically with a laugh.

"How lucky am I to have to put a lot of work into an essay that you will look at the morning it's due, write your part and get just as much credit as me." You said, annoyance in your voice.

Colby couldn't help but chuckle, "woah, you can't hate on me for being good at what I do!" He said as he ran ahead of you opening up the glass doors as you froze to look at him, "after you, princess." He said with a smirk.

You looked at Colby with a face filled with disgust, "ew. No." You said rolling your eyes again as you walked past him. Colby smirked watching as you walked ahead again. He quickly hurried up to you.

"So... your place or mine?" He asked, and you could hear the smile on his face.

"Um. How about, you go home, work on your side of the essay, and I shall go home and work on mine." You said sternly, you had quite had enough of him already.

Colby looked at you confused, he didn't understand why you were being so cold with him as everyone, especially girls, loved working with him, "well... how is it going to be joint effort if we don't work together? You say that I'm going to get credit I don't deserve." Colby said slightly snark in his voice but his face still plastered with a smile.

You continued walking, refusing to look at him as he spoke, "nope. It's not going to work on me."

Colby quickly stepped in front of you, his hands out stopping you in your tracks as you looked at him annoyed, "woah hang on!" You sighed, "I don't even know what you're trying to insinuate but I can assure you, I will do my part, I just work better on pathetic essays with other people." He said looking down at you with a smirk toying with his lips.

"It may be pathetic to you, but I actually need to work hard because I don't get special treatment like you." You said your face straighter than ever.

Colby laughed, "oh so I get special treatment now do I?" He thought for a moment looking down at you, "fine. But when you actually want to take the work seriously and not be actually like... hmmm.. I dunno, Tessa." You glared at him considering what his opinion of Tessa entailed, "then, you know where to find me."

You huffed before stepping closer to him, "right okay. How about you call me when you're ready to actually take it seriously."

Colby licked across his teeth before he spoke, "sweetheart... what about me makes you think I'm not serious?"

You thought for a moment before finally speaking, "tell you what. Meet me in the coffee shop at 3pm. And let's see just how serious you are, IF you show up on time," you said snidely as you began to walk around him.

Colby stood for a moment before slowly turning around to walk you walk away, he quickly shouted, "ohh I'll be there, princess!" You rolled your eyes again, "3pm sharp!"

As you walked away, you felt a small uncontrollable smile creep on your face, the sound of his voice calling you princess. You quickly shook the feeling, as you thought to yourself, 'Colby Brock? Absolutely not y/n."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Colby suddenly leaned forward, his hand reaching up touching your face, "well then princess... are we working?... or not?" He looked at you with a hunger in his eyes, your heart pounding at the feel of his fingers graze across your cheek.

"You tell me..." you bit your lip as a smirk grew on Colby's face.

Colby slowly leaned in, his breath against your face getting warmer as he approached. Suddenly he connected your lips, your body melting into the kiss as he grabbed both sides of your face. The kisses was instantly deep as passionate, he quickly moved his lips to your neck as his hand cupped your sex, your body grinding against him as you both moaned. Colby spoke his voice mumbled against your skin, "baby... your phone."

You moaned louder, your breath short, "what?" You whispered as you through your head back.

Suddenly Colby pulled off you quickly, "your phone, y/n!"

Your body jolted awake as your eyes opened in your dorm room. Alone, your head against the desk, your cheek stuck to your notebook by the drool that made its way from your mouth. You sat up quickly as your phone dinged. You looked around for a moment, and felt it. The knot in your stomach, the slight sadness the dream was over, and the immense amount of confusion as to why you were dreaming about him, never mind in that way. You wiped the drool from your cheek as you picked up your phone. You had 3 new messages from an unknown number.

14:52 - well then, look who's here early! I'll be ready when you are 😉

15:05 - well well well... look who's unpunctual now

15:17 - I've never been stood up before, never mind for a study date. But I'm still here if you decide to take this 'seriously' 😏😂

You quickly looked at the time, "fuck!" You shouted as you read 15:20. You quickly grabbed your things as you began to text back, I'm so sorry I- you suddenly stopped, deleting the message deciding that you would rather come up with an excuse, something smart when you get there.

>>>>>>>>>>>

As you walked into the coffee shop, Colby eyes instantly looked up from his laptop as he sat, a coffee in hand and a smile slowly appearing on his face. You took a deep breath as you walked over. "Well, nice of you to show up." He said snickering.

"I just wanted to see just how seriously you were going to take this," you said back instantly, covering up your real reason for being late.

Colby leaned back in his chair, sipping his coffee. He suddenly pointed to a cup that sat on the other side of the table, "I got you a drink, but... it's probably cold now." He said back, he was also starting to get slightly annoyed at the snarky comments you keep making.

You couldn't help but actually feel bad, that you were late, considering the hard time you gave him on it, and also that he bought you a coffee and you weren't here to accept it. You slowly put your bag on the table, "thank you." You said softly.

Colby was taken back by your sudden change of tone, he couldn't help but feel your guilt. Suddenly, a smile grew back on his face, "well are you just going to stand there all day, or are you going to sit and take this seriously."

You sighed rolling your eyes as you pulled out your chair. But as hard as you tried, you couldn't fight the smile forming on your face. "So tell me, what have you been doing whilst you've been waiting here patiently for me?" You asked as your teasing attitude returned, "wait let me rephrase that... how many girls numbers did you get, instead of working?" You said with a smirk.

Colby bit his lip as he glanced at his laptop and then back to you, "you want the truth?" He said with a smirk. You gave him a look as he chuckled before leaning his elbows onto the table, "well... I got 3 numbers." He bit his lip lifting his eyebrows. You began to lean down trying to hind your eye roll for once, as you reached into your bag to grab your iPad. Suddenly he continued, "but... I also wrote 3 and half thousand words on why Tessa was the problem." You stopped for a moment before slowly sitting back up.

"Well, I'm glad you could write so passionately about a loyal woman being the problem." You said sarcastically.

Colby scoffed, "are you trying to claim that I'm not loyal." He said dramatically.

"I didn't say that Colbs." You smirked as his stomach fluttered with you calling him Colbs. "But if you took offence to that..." you said, your smile widening as Colby cut you off.

"Look," he said a lot more seriously and softly as he leaned forward once again, "maybe you should stop having these opinions of me, when you don't even know me."

You paused for a moment, his words hitting you like a truck. He was right, you were basing your opinions on his from what people have said or by his lack of punctuality. But I guess he did debunk that myth by showing up early for their study session. You watched as he glanced back at his laptop, you could see his face dropping as his thoughts ran around his head and how badly he was trying to distract himself now in his work. You felt guilty, once again. Maybe you were giving him a hard time when you had no proof he was even worthy of being treated so cold.

"I'm sorry I was late." You said softly, as you looked down setting up your iPad. Colby's eyes snapped back to you in shock at your tone. "The truth is... I..." you looked up to meet his gaze and you could see how badly he was trying to hide a smirk, "I fell asleep." You said bluntly with a smile turning up the corners of your lips.

Colby sarcastically dropped his mouth wide open and did a fake gasp, "oh how irresponsible of you, princess." He said teasingly.

You gave him a look, as he was one to talk considering he interrupted the class every lecture by being late. Colby noticed this look and started to put two and two together, "I have therapy on Tuesday and Thursday mornings which is why I'm always late to the English lectures." He said honestly as you listened to him intently, "that's also why I don't get in trouble for it, because the professor knows."

You couldn't help but feel even more terrible in this moment because of they you've been treating him. You thought he was just this disrespectful bad boy, but really, you didn't know him at all. Colby could see the huge change in your demeanour as your shoulders relaxed slightly and he could tell you were feeling bad about how you were with him so far. He spoke quickly as he leaned forward, "so tell me y/n..." the way his blue eyes looked deep into yours made your heart flutter out of nervousness, "why do you think bad boys are the problem?"

You spoke before you thought, "I don't- I don't think you're a probl-" Colby suddenly started to laugh, as you stopped looking at him confused.

"I meant in the book." Colby said with a smirk as your stomach did a somersault. You exhaled sharply as you shook your head, unable to hide the smile growing on your face. "Come on princess, let's finish that debate shall we?"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

It had been a few hours since you and Colby went your separate ways, you back to your dorm room to work on the assignment and Colby to a family dinner. You sat on your bed, your iPad resting on your knees as you typed away. Picking up your wine glass and sipping every few minutes. Your favourite music on in the background. This was the ideal Friday for you. Finishing up assignments, peace and quiet. You were never much of a party girl, you cared more about your degree than anything. Each time you did go to a party, you always managed to end up falling behind in work, so if you want to be in publishing, you had to sacrifice it for the sake of your studies. It was almost 10pm when your phone suddenly dinged. As you picked it up, you couldn't help but smile as you read the text from Colby.

21:56 - guess where I am right now? 😏

You rolled your eyes, believing you knew exactly where he was. You quickly typed back:

21:58 - oh I don't know... some trashy frat party maybe? OR... some sweet innocent girls dorm room?

You went to lock your phone but watched as the typing bubbles instantly appeared, you grabbed your wine, looking at the screen as Colby's message suddenly revealed itself.

21:59 - well, I'm not in your dorm room😉

Before you could type out a snarky reply another text came through.

22:00 - I'm actually at home working on our essay. But...

You were shocked to say the least, you could feel your cheeks starting to heat up but you couldn't tell if it was some kind of blushing or the wine. As you were trying to figure it out your phone pinged again.

22:02 - I'm really struggling... I told you, I don't work well on essays alone🥺

You wanted to invite him over, but after that dream you had earlier, you couldn't tell if it was because of the work, or once again because of the wine... but before you could text back your phone began to ring as Colby's name flashed on the screen. You took a deep breath as you hit the green answer button, "hello?" You said softly.

"What are you doing right now?" Colby's voice bounced through the speaker into your ear.

You chuckled as you stood up out of the bed, "I'm just about to get ready for a party actually..." you lied.

"Liar." Colby said quickly with a laugh. You could hear a car door opening and closing in the background of the call, his keys gangling around. "I bet you're in your dorm, working on our essay. Drinking hot chocolate and listening to opera music" You could hear the smirk on his face.

Your mouth fell wide open, who did he think you were? Hot chocolate and opera music?, "I'll have you know, I'm doing our essay drinking wine and listening to y/f/a."

"Ooo now that is music to my ears!" Colby said excited as you heard his car turn on, "I'll be there in 20."

"Uh, what do you mean?" You said quickly and extremely confused.

"Get a glass ready for me." Colby said with a smile on his face. His voice echoed down his ear canal.

"Colby... how do you know where I live?"

"See you soon!" Colby said over you.

"How do you know where i-" as you spoke the line went dead. You stood frozen for a moment. Trying to process that Colby was going to be in your dorm room in 20 minutes, and not banging some popular bitch at a frat party.

>>>>>>>>>>>

The next 20 minutes were torture for you, as your mind couldn't believe that he was coming there and not only that. That dream you had. Oh man, that dream was something else. You felt your heart beating at the thought of it. Especially after hearing him out earlier, your opinion of Colby was definitely changing.

It was almost 10:30pm and still no sign of him. You found yourself both worried about him and also annoyed, thinking he'd just said he was coming to you to wind you up. But before you could even decide there was a knock on your door. You stood up slowly, fixing yourself before opening it up, you found Colby, stood holding 2 huge bags of Taco Bell, "the line at Taco Bell was longer than I expected." He said with a smile and he seemed slightly out of breath, like he actually ran from his car and across the campus up to your room.

You looked at him your eyes squinting slightly, "that's a lot of Taco Bell." You said as a smirk grew on your face.

"Well, I didn't know what you'd order, so I just practically got one of everything," Colby said as he smiled, still standing at the door.

You couldn't believe he would do that, it was already kind enough to get you Taco Bell, but getting everything in the hope he'd picked your favourite... you felt your heart beating louder as you opened the door wider and began to walk back into your room, "is this how you woo all your conquests?" You said with a chuckle as you began to pour him a glass of wine.

"Conquests?... who's objectifying women now?" Colby said with a smirk as he placed the bags down and began taking off his jacket.

You rolled your eyes with a smile turning to face him, holding out his glass of wine as you clung to your topped up one. Colby looked at you, deep into your eyes as he slowly lifted up taking it from your hand, "thank you." He said with a smile, and you'd by lying if you said it weren't making your stomach flip and your heat drip. You wanted to speak but your body wouldn't let you as you just smiled before looking away nervously, your cheeks flushing red from the way he looked at you.

"So," Colby said as he sat down on your bed, looking at you like no one had ever looked at you before. "Let me see what you did for our essay."

>>>>>>>>>>>

A couple of hours had passed as it had just turned midnight, you and Colby had been drinking wine, eating Taco Bell and discuss the assignment. As well as laughing and actually really getting to know each other. You couldn't have been more wrong about Colby, he had amazing morals and you couldn't help but smile as he spoke about his family and his best friend Sam. Seeing how much they meant to him and how fondly he spoke of their relationships.

"One thing I will agree with you, is that Hardin did push Tessa away, even though she was being incredibly patient with him..." Colby said reluctantly as you raised your eyebrows at him wide. "But you cannot tell anybody I said that!" Colby said pointing in your face as you both giggled from the alcohol.

You fake pouted as you couldn't help it laugh, "okay fine! But... I will also agree with you that Tessa..." you began to stand up as you walked over to your desk, refilling your glass once again, Colby sat up watching as your walked, the way your hips moved had his breath catching in his throat, "couldn't resist Hardin." Colby began to smile as you interrupted his thoughts, "but that's only because Hardin made her feel things she's never felt before." You say with a slight sigh.

Colby looked at the back of you as you slowly put the lid back on the wine bottle that was now empty. You turned around leaning against your desk looking at Colby as you continued, "you know, she spent her whole life trying to perfect, for people other than herself, and then she met Hardin who, made her do what she wanted to do and, to top it all off, he could make her cum," you said with a giggle as Colby looked at you wide eyed. "And that's pretty rare to find." You said with a sigh.

Colby looked at you confused, "what do you mean?"

You chuckled as you sipped your wine, "you know, a man who actually cares whether you enjoy sex or not. Most men just do whatever they need to do to get off and then they literally get off." You said as you laughed looking at the ground.

Colby thought for a moment before noticing the look on your face, even as you looked at the floor as he slowly sat up, "hang on a minute y/n. Are you telling me right now, that you have never had a man make you cum?" He looked at you intently, in disbelief.

You looked up feeling your cheeks flush as Colby waited for your answer, you panicked, "what... no it's.. I just- okay fine. No. A man has never made me cum! Men are just too selfish in the bedroom and apparently all the men that I, you know... yeah." You said awkwardly. It was crazy how close you both had became already. You did genuinely feel like you could tell him anything.

"Wait..." Colby moved to the end of the bed, looking up at your, the corners of his mouth toying a smile, "you're telling me, you've came on a dick, or a tongue?" He couldn't hold his smile back anymore.

You let out a slight nervous giggle as you spoke, "you know I don't really get the hype with getting eaten out." You say honestly. "I don't think it feels that good." You said shrugging your shoulders.

This was the last straw for Colby as he quickly jumped to his feet, "woah, hang on! Firstly, you clearly have never been a with a real man," he said with a chuckle, "and secondly, I can't believe that you, have never had actually good sex."

You were taken back by the way he said you, "wait, what do you mean? Me?"

Colby stopped for a moment, looking at you intensely, his eyes wandering all over your body. "I mean, I haven't been able to stop thinking about how badly I want to be between your legs." You froze as he spoke, your thoughts all over the place, "I honestly thought you had a boyfriend because... I mean look at you. You're perfect."

You felt yourself blushing and didn't know how to handle the compliments, but as you tried to brush off his words, he continued, "you are beautiful. You are so smart, and you... well, you have had me going crazy all year."

You looked at him confused as you scoffed, "please, if that were true, I wouldn't have been invisible all year." You say with a smile even though you truly believed what you said.

Colby stood closer to you as you still rested against your desk, "I told you! I thought you had a boyfriend. And then before our coffee date earlier, I asked your friend, y/b/f/n. And she told me you were single..." he said as his eye trailed over your body once again, "and well, I just couldn't believe it."

Your breath caught in your throat as your smile quickly dropped, your lips slightly parted as you tried to speak but couldn't as Colby stepped even closer to you, his body now just inches away as he gazed down at you, "but what has bothered me the most, is that you have never been made to feel exactly how you deserve to feel... you at least have had an orgasm before right? Like whilst masterbating?" Colby said as he lifted his arm and moved a piece of hair out of your face.

You quickly looked away as a smile appeared on your face, your cheeks blushing red as you nervous stuttered, "I don't-... I"

Colby quickly grabbed your chin, turning your face back to look at his as he began leaning in slowly, "you haven't? Fuck... if you'll let me, I'd like to change that." He stopped, his lips not even a centimetre away from yours, looking for permission. You looked into his eyes, your body melting at his stare and the feeling of his breath against your lips. You felt drawn to him, like even if you wanted to say no, your body wouldn't allow it. It was curious to see if he was telling the truth and that you will feel things you've never felt before. He waited patiently, not wanting to make a move until he had the OK from you.

You thought to yourself, 'fuck it.' As you quickly leaned in smashing your lips against his. As shocked as Colby was by your sudden movement, he wasn't lying when he said he has wanted to do this all year. Your kiss was instantly in sync and deep and passionate. Your heart was pounding out of you chest as Colby's hands quickly moved up to grab either side of your face, whilst he pushed your body further into your desk, his body pressing up tightly against you. Colby moved his lips from yours to your jaw and then down to your neck, leaving kisses and sucking in all the right places. But after a few moments, he moved back up to your lips, but this kiss was a lot more... sweet. He pulled away slowly with a smirk across his face, "just tell me stop if it gets too much." He said has he slowly began walking backwards towards the bed, pulling you with him by your hands.

You chuckled, "what do you think I am? You can't break me Colby." You smirked as he bit his lip in anticipation.

You finally felt the bed touch the back of your knees as Colby turned you to face him, "we'll see, baby."

His words made your stomach flip and goosebumps to cover your entire body. You had no idea what you were in for, but you were excited. You nervously sat back on the bed as Colby leaned down, connecting your lips once again, as he guided you to lay back. His body hovering above yours made your body tremble and your core begin to ache, your underwear getting wetter by the second. He leaned up looking down at you. But his eyes, they were looking at you like... almost like you meant everything to him. But that's impossible because you literally spoke properly for the first time today. So how was he making you feel like this? You watched as his eyes danced across your features and the smile turning up the corners of his mouth. He grabbed your hands as he pulled you to sit, and he instantly grabbed your shirt, pulling it up and over your head quickly. As you laid back down, Colby followed your body as he refused to break eye contact with you. His chin, tickling your stomach as he suddenly began kissing along your torso, your body starting to squirm, desperate for some relief.

"Never thought you'd be squirming for me, princess." Colby said as he then tucked him bottom lip between his teeth. You rolled your eyes as he called you princess again, but this time, you couldn't lie, it was turning you on even more. Colby quickly hooked his his fingers into the band of your bottoms and your underwear, pulling them both down together, he moved slowly at first, but his own excitement got the best of him as you were revealed to him. He quickly pulled them off your legs as he threw them onto the floor. He looked back at you, a smile plastered across his face as he hooks his arms underneath your legs, positioning himself, exactly where you both wanted him to be. He began to kiss along your lower stomach and across your groin, along your inner thighs. Your body twitched and your heat pulsating for his touch.

"Colby..." you gasped as you bit onto your lip.

"Yes princess?" Colby said with a smirk on his face between kisses.

You had never been in this position before, usually the men you had been with would just get in, get it done and then that was it. There was no taking their time, no real foreplay, just selfish lovers. You really didn't want to say it, but before you could even stop yourself you whispered out, "please..."

Colby's eyes shot up to yours, nothing but happiness on his face, "please what baby?" He said teasingly.

You deep a deep breath as Colby's chin slightly grazed against your area, "please... touch me." You said reluctantly but you truly had ever wanted to be touched more in your life. How was he doing this to you?

"My pleasure, princess," Colby spoke as he wasted no more time and he quickly connected his lips with your clit.

'Wait... hang on...' you thought. "Holy shit!" You called out. This was not like anything you'd ever experienced before, Colby was right. Now this, this was a feeling like no other. You could feel Colby chuckle as his tongue swirled around your clit, as you bit your lip trying to stay quiet.

"No baby, let them out." He mumbled against you sending shivers through your entire body, "I wanna hear how good you feel," as soon as he spoke as suddenly stuck his tongue deep inside you as you couldn't help but cry out.

"Fuck!" Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he moved quickly. Your head flying back as your back arched off the bed, Colby's grip around your legs and on your hips keeping you where he needed you. He moved his tongue back to your clit as he suddenly moved his arm, taking two fingers and pushing them deep inside you. "Oh.. wow." You couldn't breathe as a very unfamiliar feeling started to tighten your stomach. Your legs began to twitch as his fingers pumped in and out his lips sucking on your clit. It's almost as though you were trying to fight the feeling, afraid of what this feeling was.

Colby felt you clench around his fingers as he mumbled, "that it's baby, you're so close. Just... let it go." You began to shout expletives as your body arched and your eyes squeezed closed. Suddenly, your entire body over run with the most satisfying and amazing feeling ever, as you felt it move through each of your body parts, his touch on you suddenly almost unbearable as you shook beneath him, your fists clenching the sheets beside you.

"Shit. Fuck... Colby!" You cried out as Colby slowed his movements gradually coming to a stop. He leaned up, wiping his mouth as he rose, looking down on you.

"How was that princess?" Colby said with a smirk.

As you caught your breath you looked up at him. "That was..." you bit your lip as you smirked. "Amazing." Colby chuckled as he moved to sit beside you on the bed, running his hands along your body. "And I quite frankly, want to feel that again." You said as you quickly sat up to straddle him. Colby bit his lip looking at you as his hands rested on your back. Your hands moved up to run through his hair. You leaned forward to whisper in his ear, "but I want to return the favour..." you leaned back with smirk as Colby looked at you mesmerised.

"Oh yeah?" He said as he smirked. His body was already ready for you, which you could feel through his trousers. You nodded before connecting your lips with his, his hands exploring your entire body as he leaned up unclasping your bra with one quick flick. You slowly moved the straps down your arms throwing it to the side.

You grabbed the bottom of his T-shirt as he raised his arms, the most lustful smile on his face as you raised it up and over his head. You suddenly pushed him down, his back hitting the bed as he gasped. "Oh shit."

You giggled as you slowly moved off him undoing his trousers and pulling them, along with his boxers. Colby lifted himself off the bed as you dragged them from underneath him, his hard cock springing out, down his legs as he quickly kicked his feet out of them. He looked down at you, as you positioned yourself, his hand resting in your hair. "You know, just because a man had never made me cum... doesn't mean I don't know how to make you crumble." You said seductively. As Colby's eyes went wide and a smirk appearing on his face once again. You took his dick in your hand and took your tongue licking from his base, up his entire shaft to the tip as you teased it with your tongue.

Colby's body twitched, and you were having as much of an effect on him as he did you. "Fuck y/n." He moaned out. As much as you wanted to drag this out, make him squirm and beg, you felt yourself needing to feel that feeling all over again, and you were not wasting anymore time. You quickly took as much as you could of him in your mouth as he groaned deeply, "fuck that's it princess." His voice making you enjoy doing this as much as he is enjoying it. You began to bob your head, taking the rest of him in your hand. You felt has his hand entangled into your hair as he moved it out of the way so he could your mouth around his dick. "Fuck that's good." He moaned. As you quickened your pace, when you suddenly pushed your head as far as you could go, his cock hitting the back of your throat as you gagged. "Oh fuck baby, stop, or I'm gonna cum." He moaned out, pulling your head up by your hair. "And I am not ready to cum yet." He smirked as he quickly sat up, moving you to the side and flipping you over, him hovering on top of you once again.

He leaned down kissing you deeply and passionately as his tip teased your entrance, "you.. are so much more than I ever thought you'd be." Colby spoke between kisses.

"Right back at you Colbs," you giggled. He quickly lined himself up, as he pushed himself slowly, deep inside of you.

"Fuck... you're so beautiful y/n." Colby moaned out as he felt you completely surround his cock, your walls clenching instantly.

"Fuck Colby." You moaned back, as he slowly began thrusting in and out of you, picking his speed up with each thrust.

Colby panted as he groaned deeply, "fuck... I wish we could put this in the essay." You gasped and couldn't help but laugh, as he began to pick up his speed once again.

"Fuck Colby don't stop." You moaned out as that knot reappeared in your stomach, the feeling he gave you was like something out of this world.

Colby began quickly repositioned himself, leaning on his knees as he continued his thrust, looking down at you. He took his thumb and began to rub in vigorous circles on your clit. Your eyes squeezing tight as you moaned even louder. Your walls clenched his dick as your legs began to twitch once again, "that's it baby, cum for me again. Cum all over me." Colby demanded, his voice low and dominant. And it was enough to send you flying over the edge.

"Fuck, fuck, yes yes yes!" You cried out as you came. You have never in your life felt as good as you did in this moment.

"You sound so pretty. Fuck" Colby groaned as he moved his thumb from your clit and his placed his hand over your throat, squeezing only slightly as you high was still in tact. He began to pound into you as you both moaned out, loudly, definitely disturbing the rest of the dorms.

"Oh shittt..." you gripped his arm tightly as he thrusted deeper than ever.

"Fuck fuck, oh shit." Colby moaned as he suddenly pulled out, spilling all over your stomach. The sound of his groans giving you shivers.

After a moment of you both catching your breath, Colby looked down at you with a smile. "Hold on, let me get you a towel." He quickly moved away from you, as he ran into your bathroom, grabbing a towel and running back. He took the liberty of wiping himself off you as you giggled, your body exhausted from all the pleasure. "Are you okay?" Colby chuckled as he threw the towel to the ground, lying back down on the bed beside you.

"Absolutely." You chuckled as you looked up at the ceiling, your heart still pounding out of your chest.

Colby looked at you, with the most wholesome smile on his face, "I never thought we'd be doing that tonight." He said with a smirk.

You turned your head to look at him, "I guess I couldn't resist a bad boy, after all." Colby's eyes widened as his smile beamed and he leaned closer to you, kissing you softly.

"You know... I don't usually do this, but there's something about you, that I just... I want. I want you. As I mean. I want to love you and make you feel that good all the time. I want to fight with you and then have the hottest make up sex." Colby said as he chuckled.

You looked at him, and you couldn't believe you thought this, but you wanted that too, "okay, calm down Hardin." He rolled his eyes as you smirked, "I told you though, I'm not Tessa."

Colby rolled over to push his body against his, "oh trust me, you are so much more. And I promise you, I won't push you away."

You smiled at him as he pulled your body closer to his. "I'm going to have to thank the Professor for pairing us together." Colby said as you chuckled.

You laughed as you closed your eyes, "maybe leave out this part though." You chuckled as you leaned up and kissed him deeply and passionately.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

AUTHORS NOTE: hey guys, I hope you liked this! Don't forget to send requests xx

Wattpad: propertyofyoutube

[wikitpowers]

analysing the (heartbreaking) kitty letter bc i will never get over it <\3

Ty, Ty, Ty.

kit repeating his name so many times bc he is physically incapable of stopping oh i want to cry

Your name looks strange written out like that. Like an abbreviation. But Tiberius would be so formal. I never think of you that way. Or, I suppose I should say, I never thought of you that way. Tenses matter in these situations, I guess.

he spends so much time thinking about everything related to ty, even his name and how it’a pronounced. it's like he has a little box in the back of his mind reserved for all things ty and he only allows himself to open it sometimes, when he can't help himself any longer. and he does it, despite the pain it causes him.

It’s late, past midnight, and I’m sitting on the windowsill in my bedroom at Cirenworth.

late at night, all kit can think about is ty and everything he lost. in the darkness, he can allow himself to feel and remember.

Jem and Tessa gave me one of the best rooms. Of course they did. It has a view out over the gardens. Sometimes I see the ghost of a dog there, a golden retriever I’m pretty sure, running in and out of the flowerbeds. He seems like a pretty happy ghost.

this is one of the only happy parts in the whole letter. i love how it shows how much jem and tessa care about kit, how much they have made him a part of their home, their family. they truly want only the best for him and love him so much, they want him to have all of the things he never had with johnny (+ we have further confirmation that kit can definitely see oscar wilde which is simply adorable).

I think about how much you like animals and how much they love you, because of course they do. But it’s too late; this dog passed away a long time ago. You probably couldn’t even see him. It’s too late for a lot of things, now.

it's giving "of course animals also love you, it's hard not to love you" and the way he says it with such ease… like loving ty is natural and not surprising at all bc it's just the way things are. but then he goes back to his toxic mindset that it's too late now, it's too late for that love to grow because they're not together anymore, it's too late to take back everything that happened between them.

I’m still mad at you, and I don’t feel good about that. Maybe if I could forget, I could forgive. But I can’t forget that night you brought Livvy back. I’ll suddenly remember even when I’m thinking about something else. I’ll be in the middle of helping Tessa in the garden and suddenly I’ll turn around and I’m back in Idris. 

he doesn't like being angry, he wants to move on, but he can't because it's ty. maybe if it was anyone other than ty. but it's not. no matter how hard he tries, he can't forget everything that happened at the lake. even when he's doing normal ordinary things, it will hit him that he's not okay, even after all this time. kit is struggling to forgive but he's really trying.

I remember I told you I loved you. I remember I told you I would help you, but not if you raised Livvy from the dead. Not if you did necromancy. But you wanted that more than you wanted me.

the reason why it's so hard to forgive is because of all the memories which are still so fresh in his mind. he can remember every detail, he can remember the pain it caused him to open himself up like that and then be broken apart. he was truly honest with someone for once and took a chance only for it all to come crashing down, for it to be clear that ty never wanted any of that and he certainly never wanted him (what a bunch of bs, kit, c'mon bffr) :(

And I understand that. I’m not angry about that. Here’s what I’m angry about: when you brought Livvy back, you changed yourself. You made yourself a different person than the one I loved. I don’t know the person you are now. You took yourself away from me. I can’t forgive that.

the way he says he understands it has my throat tying up bc kit genuinely believes it - that ty could never love him. and more so, that he has good reason for it. nobody has ever loved him so why should ty be any different? kit isn't angry about not being loved (he's never been loved), it's that ty changed himself. ty became someone kit never thought he could be, someone he can’t recognise. all of kit's anger is directed towards ty and what he did to himself, it was never about kit's hurt feelings. kit knows hurt, he's dealt with it his whole life. his concern is ty.

And you made me someone who has to keep a secret I never wanted to keep. I was raised by someone who had so many awful secrets, and when I started my life as a Shadowhunter I wanted to do it openly, and honestly. But now I’m just someone else with secrets I can never tell. Just like my dad.

i think kit’s greatest fear is turning into johnny. turning into someone who has so little love to give, someone who lies and cheats their way through life, makes kit terrified that he could end up like johnny. (but i also really love the fact that johnny was brought up at all bc it shows kit still thinks about him and that his death did impact him. i can't wait to see more of what kit thinks about him in twp).

It makes me angry, so angry. I want to yell at you. I wish you were here so I could yell at you.

and still, despite his anger; despite him not being able to forgive; despite feeling betrayed; he still loves ty. he still wants ty by his side. he wants to tell him everything that he wrote on paper, he wants ty to hear his words and be angry at him. he just wants ty.

and the yelling bit… like michi said, i hope the mutual yelling at each other will end in an angry kiss ehem

Kit

oh how painful it is to sign a letter he will never send

[cassandraclare]

I still have some questions about Belial:

1) How did Belial make Tessa with his curse?

2) Was Belial's debt to Jem originally planned as something other than passing on a message?

3) Why would Belial give powers to James and esp Lucie when they could use them against him (and in the latter's case, he didn't care about her)? I just still can't understand why they would be taken away with his death or why he'd intentionally bother with that.

Thank you in advance!

Okay! I would say strap in for some boring technical the-nature-of-fantasy-writing stuff.

How did Belial make Tessa with his curse?

We already know Belial can, in fact, walk on the earth if he possesses someone. In the case of possessing an ordinary human, the body falls apart quickly. If he possesses a demon it lasts longer, and he could wander about for a while as a demon if he liked, he's just not interested. He's obsessed with the idea of being on the earth in a human body: i.e. James. Anyway, he possessed the Eidolon demon that took the form of Richard Gray, Tessa's father.

2) Was Belial's debt to Jem originally planned as something other than passing on a message?

It took me a while to try to understand this question, and I'm still not totally sure I do. I thought it was a question about what the favor was, but I think it's "Did you ever plan for Belial to owe Jem for some other reason?"  To which the answer is no. It was always planned to hinge on the deal that is made re: the Herondales. While Jem frames it as "passing on a message" that is in fact, not what the favor was.

3) Why would Belial give powers to James and esp Lucie when they could use them against him (and in the latter's case, he didn't care about her)? I just still can't understand why they would be taken away with his death or why he'd intentionally bother with that.

These seem like two different questions, so for the first one: Belial didn't give powers to James and Lucie in the way you seem to be framing it. He gave a specific power to Grace, which is why Grace, you know, remembers that happening. James and Lucie just have powers because they are related to Belial. Same reason Tessa has her power. Belial had no idea what the specifics of all his mortal descendants would be—how could he? Shadowhunter/demon hybrids had never existed before. He may have thought they might have powers of some sort, but he did not handcraft them and send them to James and Lucie for Demon Christmas. :-)

As for why, I guess, Belial didn't kill them in the womb or something (assuming he could have done that) — this seems to be the question, "Why would Belial ever make a mistake or take a risk?" And the answer is, "Why wouldn't that happen?" Being a demon doesn't insulate Belial from having flaws or being in error (some might say that's the essential nature of demons.) It's a bit like asking why Satan made war on God in Paradise Lost when he was certain to lose because you know, God. Milton kind of wrote his entire epic poem to answer that question. And (Cliff Notes): the answer was pride. Pride blinded Lucifer, and if Lucifer can be blinded by pride, then Belial can also be blinded by his own flaws, specifically hubris and a misunderstanding of the nature of human beings. While Belial knew James and Lucie had powers, he never thought those powers posed a significant risk to him and he wrongly assumed he would always be more powerful than they were and easily able to turn their powers to his advantage. Jem explains Belial's error fairly plainly:

"There was also the great weakness of demons: they did not understand either love or faith. Belial had underestimated not just Cordelia, Lucie, and James, but also their friends, and what they would all do for each other."

As for why J&L's powers vanished with his death: I think there is a confusion here between two kinds of magic. Rules-based magic, and numinous magic. Rules-based magic being what it sounds like, and numinous magic being magic that has an almost mystical element that cannot be explained like a math problem but is rooted in the resonance of human experience, of myth and fairy tale. Rules-based magic needs to be explained to us in fiction. Numinous magic we understand because we're human and we know. (Jo Walton has a good essay on the two kinds of magic and the ways they work together and apart here.)

Neither is a better kind of magic in fiction than the other and most good fantasy contains both. An example: The Ring in Lord of the Rings. It has a numinous power: it exerts an evil influence, but that evil influence doesn't work in a specific, ordered way, and it works differently in different situations and on different people, often without an obvious reason why. But it makes sense, as long as you keep the essential nature of the Ring in mind. The Ring also has another power. If you put it on, you become invisible. The end. Works the same for everyone. The Ring has both numinous and rules-based powers.

If you are looking for a math-type answer to why James and Lucie's powers vanished with Belial's death, there is not one, as their powers were inherently numinous to begin with, and we already have both rules-based and numinous magic in the Shadowhunter world. In fact, we already have examples of magic coming apart when the magic-creator dies in the Shadowhunter world. When Sebastian dies, the Endarkened die with him. When Johnny Rook dies, his wards fail.

To go back to Lord of the Rings, when Sauron dies, his fortress of Barad-dûr collapses. This is not because it was architecturally unsound. It is because we understand things like Sauron's fortress to be the expression of someone's will in the world, and when they die, their will is broken.

The breaking or undoing of that will is concretized in fiction (just like all metaphor is) — so while James and Lucie couldn't have predicted that their powers would vanish with Belial's death as their situation (being a Prince of Hell’s Shadowhunter grandchildren) is literally unprecedented, it makes sense to them that their powers would go when he went. They don't seek a rules-based explanation since 1) they already live in a world where magic sometimes disappears or collapses when the magic-creator dies and 2) they don't need one. As James says, "Not because [the gun] no longer fires at my command, though that is true—but because it only ever worked for me because of Belial, and Belial is gone."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Blind Date with Mr. Kemp? :)

Blind Sided

His eyes twinkle back at you. Tessa didn't mention how blue they were. In fact, she undersold him entirely.

'Don't worry. He's just your average dude. Gamer type. Far from intimidating.'

Yet here you are sitting across from this dreamy man who hasn't looked away from you the whole night. You could melt in the heat of his gaze. Instead, you take a sip of wine.

"So, office work, not very exciting," he says. His voice is smooth but full. It tickles your spine.

"You would know. I don't imagine IT is much different," you chuckle and keep a grip on your glass.

"Ah, I travel. It's a bit less dull. Kind of a roads man," he pushes his shoulders up.

His broad shoulders. Even in the soft blue sweater they looked hard. And the collar that pokes out from beneath gives a look at his tight throat, and his jaw is square and stony. Tessa really should have mentioned he was a hunk.

"Work's boring, I guess. Let's not be so cliche. Hm, alright, how about this. Say you didn't have to worry about money or details, anything like that. If you could move away, go live in some far off corner of the world, would you do it?"

You wince. It's a surprising pivot. A question you can't say you've never considered.

"Well, maybe. I guess. The world can be so... busy," you think aloud. Something about his eyes, makes it hard not to be honest.

"Alright, but the big question, what would you do? All that time, no obligations, what do you do with yourself?"

You take a moment to think. "I guess... well, I'd make everything perfect. If I had time to, I'd love to live somewhere I can see myself in. Fill it with pretty things. Learn to paint, go for walks, just... be."

He nods with a thoughtful look.

"So Jake," you take a breath, "what about you?"

"I wouldn't do it," he says. "If it's just me. Nah, I need company. So maybe, if I was allowed to bring someone, I would but call me sappy."

He smiles and sits back as the waiter approaches. She has the check he requested about ten minutes ago. He pulls out his wallet and slides out a card. She gives him the machine to put in his pin.

You wait patiently, awkwardly. You're too shy to stop him. You said you'd split the bill but he's too fast for you to deter.

The waiter takes the machine back and removes his card. She holds it out and he slips two fingers around it. The metallic letters flash in your vision.

'Steve K--' You can't read the rest.

You finish your whine as you try to convince yourself you didn't read it right. Is that his card or did he take it from someone else? His name isn't Steve, it's Jake. So, which one is it? Imposter or thief?

The former sounds to preposterous too believe. Maybe neither. It could be his middle name. You try to recall the exact imagine of his card. That makes sense. Or maybe he goes by his middle name; Jake.

"Everything okay?" He asks as he stands.

"Oh, yes," you flinch, and put the glass down. "Sorry."

You're being stupid. Tessa knows him and she wouldn't set you up with a complete stranger.

"Tired?" He asks as he comes around the table. He takes your coat from the back of your chair and opens it for you. A gesture that further puts you off kilter.

"Yes, but not because of you," you assure him as you slip your arms down the sleeves.

He drags his hands up the fabric and squeezes with a hum, "well, honey, you just close your eyes in the car and I'll drive you home."

[noridoorman]

My reaction to episode 8!

Shh, spoilers below!!

I loved every second of everything that was there.

Nori and Uzi's conversation at the beginning was so sweet, albeit short. Bseeing that little happy face Uzi made at seeing her mom again... Man, she's been through so much and probably already thought she might have lost everyone else. So seeing the one drone she always believed was dead alive and ready to help Uzi kick some butts... Just look at her happy face.

Uzi's little laugh when Nori gave her "parental" advice is so sweet too. In all the years of her life, she never got that from her mom until now. And she finally got her mom back. It's so sweet.

Along with the shy smile and wave Uzi did, as if she's saying "Do I look good with the necklace?" And Nori responds with the cute emoticon on the stone.

Of course, that gets cut off my N RAMMING Uzi with the spaceship and oh my god, them.

LOOK AT HOW PROUD AND HAPPY HE LOOKS!! Plus, we got to see his little fangs!

And when he admits that he was mad about Uzi trying to sacrifice herself... Like, you can clearly see it in his expression and voice, he was really hurt by what she did, but also, he's happy that she's alive.

And honestly, I can't be the only one that when she first grabbed his face, I thought she was going for a kiss lol.

BUT OF COURSE CYN HAS TO RUIN THE MOMENT

I really wanna know what they said, Uzi probably cursed a lot lol

AND OF COURSE, THAT SCENE.

My god, hearing the music, the beautiful visuals... Like, the fact that "Falling for you??" is playing here and the way they hold each other and look at each other with so much love and adoration... The scene gives me so much goosebumps.

I loved how Uzi admits that she can't read the room because that's another point for autistic Uzi!

Their soft expressions, and Uzi's tiny "yay" oh my god they stole my heart.

I honestly kinda wanna know how N managed to steal the spaceship and go past J.

AND V'S BACK, LET'S GO!!

I was almost screaming like crazy in the hotel room, I've been hoping SO SO MUCH THAT SHE WOULD COME BACL!! :D

AND SHE'S RIDING ON THE SENTINEL, LIKE HOW COOL IS THAT?!

The way she says "Working with CYN?!" WAS SO SATISFYING AND GOOOOOOD she's so angry, go beat up ur ex babe /silly

This scene made me lose my shit, it's so funny, why is Lizzy being shook like a maraca

The backstory we're getting between them too. So I guess both were aware on everything, but only V was the one that wanted to change but was too scared to.

The amount of backstory we're getting on J too here kinda breaks my heart and kinda makes me angry at her. The way she said "it tricked me too..." probably because she geniunly through Tessa would be alright and fine, just for her to be... not.

J is obviously heartbroken. But she feels like she has no other choice but to team up with the Solver, especially know that it is wearing Tessa's skin, that's the closest J can ever have something of her.

"You know there's no escape, even in death!"

That line makes me think as if J wanted to die at some point, but couldn't. There's so escape for her from the reality that Tessa is dead, because the Solver will always bring her back.

Help, she's so smooth and cute and akhjdskjhsfdakjsda

The way how teriffied he is breaks my heart

When I saw that, I was in panic.

All of his eyes are focused on Tessa.

Cause of his trauma

Man, this entire scene with V apologizing for everything and even crying... She's been through so much pain and keeping so much secrets to protect N, but the burden of everything kept on weighing on her.

And her face as she realized that he revealed himself because he wanted her to stop...

And just as Flesha was about to eat N's core, Khan saves the day with DOORS! >:D Gosh I wanna kiss him on his stupid face

Gotta love V's tiny smile at Uzi, you go bisexual

I LOVE NORI I LOVE NORI I LOVE NORI I LOVE NORI I LOVE NORI I LOVE NORI

SHES SO AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG AND AWESOME AND SUPER AND HAVE I MENTIONED I LOVE NORI?? BECAUSE I TRULY LOVE HER

AND THE NIGHTMARE PLAYING FOR THE FIGHT, GOSH I NEED THE SONG NOOOOOOOW

The Solver plays soooo dirty, making Uzi believe that she accidentally killed N. Gish, her expression...

The song is so catchy my god

They're so stupid, let them get married now

MY GOD SHES SO STUPID I LOVE HER I WANT THEM TO GET MARRIED AGAIN AND KISS AND ARGHHHHH

Tumblr doesn't let me add more images at that point rip :')

I'll give a more formal opinion on a seprate post!!

[perpetualprocrastinationisme]

The Perfection that is the Kickstarter Art

Let's talk about how every season perfectly matches each character.

Dru's confident, always funny, has no time for stupid things, and so much more. She's BURSTING with life, just like summer is. Summer is the time that things are harvested because they've grown into what they're meant to be. Just like I know Dru is going to grow into the exact kind of epic hero that I know she's meant to be when it's her time to help save the world in TWP. Think about it, we know she hadn't quite figured out what her place was in TDA since she was always seemingly put on the sidelines to help with Tavvy since she was younger. In TWP she's grown up and will be maturing into the kind of people Emma and Julian were in TDA.

Summer is also the time that sun is seemingly always out, ice doesn't stand a chance in this season. In this way, I can see Dru melting away the ice that has probably formed around Ash's heart from having such a tumultuous and traumatic childhood and being raised by people like Janus, Annabel, Sebastien, and the Seelie Queen. She will also help him grow into the person he is meant to be in TWP.

As mentioned above, Ash's life up to the point when TLKOF starts has been anything but filled with warmth and love. It's been cold and frigid, devoid of care and filled with Sebastian's sadistic ways, Janus who was most likely preoccupied with getting Clary instead of giving Ash a stable childhood, unhinged Annabelle briefly, and the Seelie Queen who I can't imagine is the most loving mother in the world. It's understandable that he will most likely have some iciness to him that will sting other people when he first interacts with them. However, winter does not last forever...

Because Spring is always right around the corner. I think it's absolutely brilliant to make Kit represent Spring and Ty represent Fall. Spring is a time for rebirth, new beginnings, and blooming despite the harsh winter that just occurred. Kit has been through so many unimaginable things like being raised by Johnny who was very much not a loving presence in his life, finding out he is apart of a people group that he actively despised, then learning that he is part of one of the most famous Shadowhunter families of all time, and THEN finding out that he is also the heir to both faerie courts. Kit had every right to let this shatter him and make him run away. Yet time and time again we see Kit meet these unexpected turns with an undying capacity to love others like Ty, Livvy, Dru, Jem, Tessa, Mina, etc. Yes, as Spring he occasionally has the bitter remnants of winter show up in him but he’s overwhelmingly a person characterized by the promise of Spring. Of embracing new beginnings and loving even when he's been shown love himself far less then he should have been.

Tiberius Blackthorn, you as Fall makes me quite sad. Ty was raised in a summer-like house. Sure, his family has been through so much with losing both of their parents and the Dark War, but they've never ceased to wrap each other in love. His was a life filled with the warmth of summer but in the latest books we see him slip farther and farther from that warmth both figuratively and literally. Figuratively, we see how he's starting to be more separated from people that care the most about him because of raising Livvy. His family because of how he has to keep it a secret and Kit because of what the aftermath of the resurrection did to their relationship. Literally, we see him move from sunny Los Angeles to the icy Scholomance in the Carpathian Mountains. Fall is when things start to decay and lose their vibrancy and I'm quite afraid this is what is happening to Ty :( He almost seems like he's a bit faded in the most recent official arts of him, especially the one in the Kickstarter that included him, Livvy, and Irene.

Also, do you notice that all of the other books only have a single word on them (well, we can't tell from Ash) like Spring or Summer? Yet Ty's is "The Fall." Could it symbolize how he's figuratively fallen since the death of Livvy, hurtling toward a frightening future because of his necromancy? It also kills me how he seems sad in his artwork while the rest seem happy or at the very least nonchalant.

Art: @cassandrajean

[jazzyblusnowflake]

You've got some cool headcanons for Nuzi and Vuzi, but what about the third? You got any for EnVy?

Wow i suck at answering these on time smh. sighhhh, in my defense i procrastinate answering some questions cuz i don't wanna just put together some random stuff and call it a day-

i actually wrote some stuff for some asks before but had to delete it last minute cuz i thought its worth putting more time than that, i guess TvT sorry, im probably taking this too seriously idk.

My eNVee headcanons TvT:

[yall know the drill, the drone versions only, the human versions aren’t involved, and no nsfw- for now.]

k so, light envuzi involved too, Uzi is the mediator here, whether u consider her a friend here or their mini toaster in the middle- also there's some of the stuff from my future version where V is safe and sound thankfully. and also maybe some stuff from their past too.

With how N was realizing that V was lying or hiding stuff from him in a constant manner, naturally he grew to grieve the loss of who V USED to be, and with that loss he tried to accept that he has to let her go, because the V he fell in love with was long gone. despite this, when they both started teasing each other over their relationship with Uzi and N started to bite back a bit at Vs behaviors with more self confidence, they grew to form a completely different kind of relationship. Uzi was just having fun seeing them try to win her over lmao; but in the end they kind of started enjoying eachothers company again. Uzi felt happy seeing them get closure for the things they went through and was more than happy to support them through it.

Back at the manor V was fixed up after J and N, she was one of the later drones added to the family, she hardly spent much time at the manor at all before the great yeetening happened- she was originally a maid drone for a family before she was broken and dumped in the drone corpse junkyard. Maid drones are programmed with sweet and soft AIs with more round/short body shapes to have a friendly image in a household, they are made to be able to deal with both adults and kids, and they are best made for cleaning and setting up the house in mind. N was made as a butler/chauffeur before getting broken and yeeted in the junkyard [yes he can drive]. Due to V getting broken for some sort of mistake during work, she was left scarred after her reboot to make any more mistakes, which left her slightly jitter-ish and clumsy. Tessa put N in charge to help her around and although at the beginning V didn't talk much and felt unsure, slowly N became her safe space- especially since Tessas abusive parents remind V alot of her old household. N in turn thought V was always cute, he helped her with her work, having more steady hands, which ended with a lot more hand touching and blushing on both their ends :p

N was the one that suggested glasses for V which Tessa decided to try doing to see if it would help her visual efficiency in any way, and it did. V as a DD often tries to rely on her real eyes rather than look through her main visor, the glasses remind her too much of N...

N and V sometimes used to get out of the manor in secret spots to spend some time away from the chaos to help V calm down. during this time they would read books, learn stuff from each others past lives, and sometimes draw lol, but V just liked watching and listening to N, she felt happy with him. although unlike N, V felt a bit nervous around the animals in the area XD

N and V actually have shared kisses, just not on the lips. with N kissing her on the back of her hand as a gentleman and V giving him kisses on his cheek [Tessa's idea of a cute plan to put them under a mistletoe lol], but Vs last words to N was a promise to give him a kiss before she became comatose. as more drones in the manor stopped working and Ns efficiency and work became less useful to the manors occupants due to him wanting to spend time with V all the time, Louisa and James started becoming more impatient with Tessa's drones, which lead to the whole "get rid of them" line...

back in the current time V is obviously trying to protect N in her own traumatized way; but even then, most of the things she had done to "shelter" N, was probably not the best choice one could make, and some of it was done out of jealousy towards N and Uzi getting closer. However, slowly she started convincing herself that N deserved someone like Uzi. V had convinced herself that she deserves nothing. She was willing to give up everything for N and keep him safe from the beginning, even if it meant knocking N down a few limbs/heads just to keep him away from danger- which is problematic in itself. she made choices based off fear and urgency. she was always traumatized.

When N and V started getting along together a bit more and hanging around a bit in the human cities- V takes N to a bookstore she found once and they spent the whole day in the shelter of the store reading different old books. V still does not admit she did this to see N happy again lol.

When N started showing V affection again, V started becoming heavily touch starved and dependent on him again, just like the manor days, which she feared, which caused a minor set back for a while where she tried to avoid N. Uzi had to come and fix this shit cuz apparently only she can scold 2 dinosaurs without feeling intimidated. after N and V kiss for the first time PROPERLY after the whole solver BS ends, V just gets more touch starved and she hates both N AND Uzi for this lmao.

N and Uzi know that one of the only ways to make V calm down is to act soft with her, occasionally praising her and calling her nice things; even when V is literally threatening to bite their head off- [shes bluffing-.......mostly.]

N is usually the one that initiates any closeness with V. after their first kiss, N does tell her that she's done stuff that he might not be able to casually forgive, but at the same time he has seen her grow, and she does have good in her that he still loves her for.

V has nightmares and hardly ever sleeps, and when she does, its usually cuddling N or Uzi.

V tries to wear her glasses more often in the future. N likes it a lot :"3

V is surprisingly a good mom :p [spoilers for my au lmao bye] but yeah, since her original OS was for a maid, she still has some functions to be good with little ones. she cant help herself, she just really likes babies and kids.

N likes sometimes ballroom dancing with V for old times sake...

[i think this is as far as my brain will allow me, please excuse me as i jump off a cliff :") ]

[wlntrsldler]

crush | sam obisanya

based on crush by tessa violet

description: you started getting origami hearts from a secret admirer. you secretly hoped it was a certain richmond player.

warnings: language-- it's ted lasso, what did ya expect?; kissing! a looootttt of smiling from sam, richmond himbos, sam and jamie bffs

pairing: sam obisanya x f! reader (she/her)

word count: 2.8K

ted lasso requests are open! | main masterlist

It started on a random Tuesday. 

You walked into the coaches’ office where your temporary desk was located– Beard nearly begged you to take Trent’s old desk because the office without Ted or Trent just felt too empty– and you saw it sitting on top of your work laptop. 

It was a red, origami heart. 

You looked around, puzzled, trying to figure out who left it, or at the very least, if everyone else had one on their desks too. You tried to catch someone’s eye, perhaps they’d reveal who left it on your desk, but all the coaches were in the locker room talking strategy with the entire team. 

Maybe the coaches did get one and they just put it away before you got here. After all, you got to work an hour after everyone else did. You picked up the heart and turned it over to find something scribbled on the back. 

“If I were loved, as I desire to be” - Lord Alfred Tennyson

You furrowed your eyebrows, holding the origami heart gently as you ransacked your small bookshelf beside your desk. Your fingers traced the spines of the books you had laying around, stopping on your copy of Tennyson’s Poetical Works. A bookmark was peeking from the top of the book and you knew exactly what poem it was. 

The small smile on your lips threatened to get bigger as you read the poem over and over again. You were sure you read the poem about fifty times before you shut the book. By the time you got yourself situated, and placed the origami heart with the rest of the trinkets on your desk, it was time to join the coaches in the locker room. 

As you walked in, your eyes met Sam’s. He offered a small wave which you returned happily. Sam was the first friend you made at Nelson Road. When you were hired by KJPR to manage Richmond’s social media and newsletters, your time was split between the KJPR HQ and the facility. It wasn’t because Keeley needed you at KJPR, but more so because you were too nervous to work at a football club every day. 

Turns out, there was no reason to be nervous. About two weeks into your job, you found yourself itching to work onsite at Nelson Road. You loved the community they built there, their camaraderie, and their mutual trust, respect, and love for each other were more than admirable.

And sure, it also helped that Sam Obisanya was here, but that was neither here nor there. 

When Keeley and Rebecca first found out about your crush on Sam, which they had to force out of you– in your defense, you knew about Rebecca and Sam’s history and you didn’t want to step on any toes– they lost it. Rebecca, of course, reassured you that it was alright with her, especially since she was with her Dutchman now. The two women would make googly eyes at you whenever they saw you talking to Sam. 

“Y/N! Why else would he come into your office so often? He fancies you!” 

“He’s just borrowing a book, Keels,” you frowned, “Jan Maas and Bumbercatch do the same thing.” 

Rebecca rolled her eyes, “But they don’t do it as often.” 

You shrugged, “Maybe Sam just reads fast.” 

“Hopeless.” The two women said in sync, laughing as you threw a pen in their direction. 

Stuck in your little daydream, it was Roy’s booming voice that snapped you out of your thoughts. You blinked a few times, surprised to find Sam’s eyes still on yours. You blushed under his intense stare and decided to be the one to break the connection. You walked out behind Nate, pretending to scribble on your notepad. 

“Y/N!” Colin called, running to catch up with you. He threw an arm around you, “How’s my favorite social media and branding manager?” 

You eyed him wearily but played along. You’d need a few more seconds to figure out what he wants, “I’m alright. How about you, Hughes?” 

“I’m doing fine, as well. Say, did you do something new to your hair? It looks absolutely lovel-”

“Give it up, mate,” Sam chimed in, removing Colin’s arm from around you, “She is not taking down your promo pictures from the grid.” 

You feigned a look of hurt, “And here I thought you were just being kind to me!”

Colin let out a long groan, sounding like a toddler throwing a tantrum, “The pictures aren’t flattering, Y/N! I look hideous.” 

You shook your head, leaning up to squish Colin’s cheeks together, “Impossible. You’re proper fit. All of you are.” 

While your (failed attempt) pep talk didn’t lift Colin’s spirits– he then went to Isaac and complained even more as he was stretching– Sam’s ears perked up at your words. Did you think he was fit? No, no, you couldn’t have. You were just saying it to make a point to Colin, right? You said the whole team was fit, not just him. 

You waved goodbye to Sam, smiling at him once again, and he swears he felt his knees buckle from under him. How he managed to make it the rest of the way to the pitch and how he managed to remember how to play football after that was truly beyond him.

“Lord help me,” Sam muttered, leaning down to touch his toes. 

“Yeah, lad,” Jamie grimaced next to him, though his tone was teasing. He watched the entire situation unfold. He knew about Sam’s pining and has been on the receiving end of many of Sam’s “Y/N is so lovely. Y/N is so smart. Isn’t she great?” ramblings. “You need some divine intervention because you’re pathetic.” 

Sam just shoved Jamie, but he knew he was right. He was a goner. 

You figured that the origami heart was a one-time thing, but to your surprise, you found another one on your desk the following day. This time it was blue. Excited to find out what lies behind the paper, you picked it up hurriedly, already smiling ear to ear before you even read it. 

“In case you ever foolishly forget: I am never not thinking of you.” - Virginia Woolf

“What do you have there?” 

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph,” You jumped at the sound of Keeley’s voice. She was leaning against the doorframe, smirking at your caught reaction. You held the heart between your pointer finger and thumb. You walked over to her, “This is the second one I’ve gotten.” 

Keeley’s eyes widened as she read the words on the back. She squealed, rushing to you to shake you by your shoulders, “Babe, you’ve got a secret admirer! Oh my gosh, this is so cute!” 

Keeley, bless her, was never one to be discreet when it came to all things romantic. Everyone in the locker room turned to look at you and Keeley in the coaches’ office, most with a confused expression on their face. You awkwardly waved before reaching over to pull Keeley into the covered part of the office. Sure, it wasn’t soundproof, but at least they didn’t get to see your embarrassment. 

“Hush,” you tutted, taking the heart back from her. You placed it beside the red one, smiling at how it made your desk look more colorful. “I do not have a secret admirer. Whoever is doing this obviously just has an affinity for good literature and wants to share it with me since I’m a reader.” 

“Right well I have an affinity for good champagne, but you don’t see me popping bottles with you every chance I get,” Keeley rolled her eyes, sitting on your desk. She picked up the origami heart from yesterday, groaning in disbelief, “Seriously, Y/N! How much more obvious can they get? They literally confessed their love for you in this one!” 

“I do not have a secret admirer.” 

“Who has a secret admirer?” 

You, once again, jumped at the sound of Rebecca’s voice. Her eyebrows were raised as she walked into your office, munching on some cookies. They weren’t better than Ted’s but she’d gotten used to having cookies for breakfast that she had to make do. 

“Y/N has a secret admirer, look!” Keeley ran to Rebecca, holding the two origami hearts in her hand. “Look at how cute these are.” 

Rebecca studied them closely, a large smirk on her face when she locked eyes with you, “This is Sam.” 

You blushed at the mention of his name, “It is not Sam because I don’t have a secret admirer. Now if you excuse me, I have work to do.” 

You tried your best to steady yourself as you walked out to the locker room. The coaches had finished their talk and the team was just doing some final things before they headed out to the pitch for training. 

Sam walked over to you, head tilted in question. “What was that about?” 

“Nothing,” you shook your head. “Keeley and Rebecca are just being silly.” 

He nodded, “Hey, I’m almost finished with the most recent book you loaned me.” 

“Are you?” You grinned at him. He mirrored you. “I love that book.” 

“I know,” Sam’s eyes drifted briefly to your lips. Oh, what he would give to feel your lips on his, even just for a second. He couldn’t help but keep staring at you as you went on about your favorite parts. Sam could picture the hundreds of outlined quotes you had in the copy he borrowed, different colored sticky notes and highlighters for different things. He noticed that as you spoke you stayed within the confines of the first part of the book. Sam realized later that it was because you didn’t want to risk spoiling anything for him. His heart warmed at the thought. 

By the time you finished recounting the book, you were red and out of breath. You placed a hand on Sam’s bicep, not missing the way he tensed under your palm. You could feel the outline of his hard muscles under his kit, which made you suck in a breath. “I’ll see you around, Sam. Come find me when you finish the book and I’ll let you talk my ear off about it. Only fair since I just did it to you.” 

He chuckled, watching you disappear into the hallway where Higgins' office was, the opposite way of the pitch where he was headed. His eyes followed your figure until you fully disappeared, which meant that he was not paying attention to where he was going. Right before his body crashed into a pole, Jamie grabbed Sam’s arm and pulled him toward the walkway. Sam, who seemed to awaken from his trance, shyly looked at Jamie. 

Jamie chuckled quietly at Sam. He whipped Sam playfully with a rolled-up towel. He jogged lightly and called out to him with his Mancunian accent, “Come on, lover boy. We got trainin’ to do.” 

After the fifth day of receiving origami hearts, you decided to take it upon yourself to investigate. Without telling anyone of your plans, not even Keeley or Rebecca who were still convinced it was Sam, you arrived at Nelson Road ten minutes after the call time for the team and coaches. 

You entered from the back of the facility, knowing that you had closed your blinds before you left work yesterday. If there was someone in your office, they wouldn’t see you coming in. As you approached the coaches’ office, the outline of someone leaning across your desk caught your eye. 

Bingo. 

Your heart swelled when you realized who it was. You cleared your throat, “Sam?” 

Sam turned around quickly, staring at you like a deer in headlights. He rubbed the back of his neck, “Oh hey, Y/N! You’re here early.” 

“Yeah, I have a few things to get done today,” you lied, walking over to your desk. “What are you doing here?” 

“Oh, right, um,” he held out the book you let him borrow from behind him, “Just wanted to return this. I was just gonna leave it on your desk, but since you’re already here, here you go.” 

“Oh,” you tried to mask your disappointment as you reached over to grab the book from him. Your fingers grazed his, sending shocks throughout your entire body. You looked down on your desk and found an origami heart on your laptop once more. This time it looked like a different type of paper. It was lightly colored and patterned instead of the usual solid color.  You looked at Sam, “Did you see who left this here?” 

Sam, who was already halfway out the door, shrugged, reaching up to rub the back of his neck again, “Nope. It was there when I got here.” 

Sure, you always denied that the secret admirer was Sam whenever Keeley and Rebecca teased you for it, but you would be a liar if you said you didn’t also secretly hope that it was him. You really liked Sam. Ever since you started working for AFC Richmond, Sam has shown you nothing but kindness. He asks you how you’re doing, and genuinely cares about your response. He pops in every week or so to borrow a book from your personal library. Then, he sits in your office after training when he finishes a book to talk about it with you. That was your favorite part of your job. 

The entire day, you felt dejected and defeated. You’re never going to figure out who was leaving you these little hearts. You didn’t join the team on the pitch or leave your office. At the end of the day, you found yourself staring at a blank Word document. A knock on your wall pulled you from your thoughts. You looked up and found Sam, standing in your doorway with two bags of takeaway in his hands. 

“Ready to talk Normal People?” Sam asked, walking in to take his usual spot across your desk. “I brought yummy food.” 

“Ola’s?”

He nodded, unwrapping the boxes of food to lay out on your desk. “Of course.” 

“Yes!” You cheered, reaching for your hand sanitizer. You offered some to Sam, which he gladly accepted. You pumped some into the palm of his hand and watched in concern as he hissed in pain when he rubbed it into his skin. “You okay?” 

He shook his hands to air dry them, a grimace still on his features. “Yeah, just forgot that I had paper cuts.” 

The admission almost flew over your head. Almost. It wasn’t until Sam muttered the word “Shit,” under his breath did you realize what he said. Sam rarely ever cussed, and when he did, it was because of something big. When you looked at him, he was staring at you with a nervous look on his face. 

“Sam…” you trailed off. 

Sam, taking your tone as a rejection, balled up his fist and bit his knuckles in anticipation. When you couldn’t find the right words, Sam interjected, “Okay, Y/N, before you get mad, hear me out please.”

You continued to stare at him in disbelief, unable to accept that it was him. He pushed his chair back, giving himself more space as he began his explanation. “Alright, so… Yes, it’s me. I have been leaving these little hearts on your desk. I’m sorry I lied to you this morning, but I panicked! I didn’t know you were coming in early. Also, I promise that I was going to tell you eventually. I was just nervous because I don’t want to ruin what we have now.” 

“I like being friends with you,” he started to say, then cringed at his own words, “Okay, let me rephrase that–  I enjoy being your friend, but I do want something more. I really like you, Y/N. I have never really been good at expressing my romantic feelings to people so I figured the greats could do it for me so I started making these little origami hearts with my favorite works and quotes on the back. I was getting quite good at it until I switched the paper I was using. Thus, the paper cuts.” 

“Sam, I-”

“Also, I just want to add, you are absolutely under no obligation to go out with me or anything like that. Unless, of course, you want to. Then, that would be great! I would love to go out with you.” He looked at you, like truly looked at you, for the first time since he began his little ramble. He groaned,  “Christ, you didn’t even ask. Wait– I didn’t even ask you to go out yet.” 

“Sam, please,” You laughed, getting up from your chair to stand in front of him. “I was hoping it was you who was leaving these origami hearts.” 

“Really?” he asked, breathless. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much. “You are not disappointed that it was me?” 

You backed off a bit as he stood from his seat, walking over to you. You shook your head no, “I was absolutely devastated when you said it wasn’t you who put it on my desk this morning.” 

Before you could say anything else, Sam placed his lips on yours. His hands found the side of your face, holding you at an angle that made it easier for your lips to glide against each other. Your hands lay flat against his chest, feeling the rumbling of his heart easily. As you slipped your tongue into his mouth, a deep groan escaped him, which fueled your actions. After a few moments, you pulled away from him but kept him close. 

Your arms were wrapped around his neck as you looked up at him. “So what do you think? The paper cuts worth it?” 

“Oh, 100%,” Sam easily replied, laughing as he squeezed your hips. He leaned down once again, unable to keep his lips away from yours any longer. 

Needless to say, you didn’t get to talk about Normal People, but neither of you cared.

[starryinkart]

Hey so a bit of a possible crack theory:

So in the show, we’ve gotten three solver colors already, Red, which stands for Doll, Purple which stands for Uzi/Nori, Yellow which stands for the solver/CYN. But here’s something ALOT of people seemed to miss. After you rewatch the Season 1 trailer, you realize:

There’s a blue solver, most likely a blue solver holder. Hidden right before the infamous yellow of the solver we’ve come to know in the show.

If you watch the trailer, you also notice something else. Right before this symbol quickly shows up, we have a dialogue from N, running away from Uzi from the scene at the end of episode 2 and then him sitting in front of V being sad. But if you listen to that dialogue:

He says “We can’t be around the workers anymore V, we’re too dangerous…”

He eventually begins to hang around them again, but to me this line with the imagery is super important. We know from the most recent episode 7/8 teaser that N is the actual leader of the squad, most likely the strongest and most likely protected by CYN with her admin right before she was completely lost by the solver.

Through out the show, we see him confused at his own power at points, like in episode 4 when he shoots the arrow through another and catches them on fire, cracking the arrow board, proceeding to say:

“Did I do that?” All confused.

N obviously doesn’t know how powerful he is at all, but what if and hear me out, it’s not ONLY because he’s a Disassembly Drone?

We know that CYN blocked the solver from having access to him, V and J to most likely protect them from the fate the solver has for drones who are infected. She didn’t want the same thing happening to N, her brother, who she loved and his friends which he cared about and most likely she cared about before she was taken over completely.

But now, Uzi has unblocked them from being protected from the CYNs admin, which was presumably protecting the squad from the affects of possibly getting the solver, (under the assumption CYN was bad in general) by becoming their administrator. If Uzi is their admin, and she gets taken over by the solver in general, that means that her admin code basically becomes useless to protecting N and the others from being infected too. And remember Tessa found them in the dump and repaired them as well, like CYN so they have a high chance of contracting the solver since they were also disposed of incorrectly.

So here comes the point of this picture that was released as a teaser yesterday:

It’s N, looking down, whether at something or just on the verge of having a breakdown and losing it we are uncertain, but from the posture, the balled fists, he does NOT look okay at all.

The first thing yours eyes are drawn to are the building split in half in front of him, the exoplanets in the sky and N. But, on a more closer look, you see two things:

1. The snow flakes on the bottom left have a ominous blue tint to them, which should only happen if blue light is reflecting off of them…

2. If you didn’t notice on the first look, N has the same blue light, coming from right in front of him. Perhaps maybe the same color as this blue solver symbol we have yet to see with some weird lines and curves jutting out from the sides…

At first, I thought Khan would be the blue solver holder at the beginning of the series, being a surprise twist for him to have activated in him he was so afraid of due to him possibly seeing it with his wife Nori. Honestly while that would’ve been cool, episode 5 debunked this possibility, since Khan was flung out of the room by Doll when she was attempting to get the cyber bug from Uzi. Solver owners can’t effect other solver holders as proven from the series, it can only use items around them to throw or hurt them.

We haven’t seen N be affect by the solver once in the present time or in the flashback of episode 5.

Now I do know the merch video came out today, but it was stated in the video that

1. “It was totally not canonical to the series what so ever” which I HIGHLY doubt. Most of the merch and videos we have seen have been canon and it seems as though the characters have been pulled aside between episodes to “film” these fourth wall breaks.

2. The fact that the title of the video “N’s Final Form” and the thumbnail are most likely not just a joke. Notice his acrylic stand teaser from V’s acrylic stand released recently:

When I first saw this, it looked SUPER weird. Me and my significant other said it looked like N and we thought the two things in the foreground of his body were his wings, meaning he was looking away from the viewer of the stand.

But then we looked closer and I started looking at my King Solver N design you can find in the murder drones link in my FAQ and we drew a more accurate picture of what we were seeing. N was not looking away from the viewer, all the characters are looking at us, and it would be weird to have N be different. So this is what we came up with:

W stands for his wings, T stands for where his tail is, L stands for his legs, F stands for his face and H stands for his hands.

His hands look a-little weird don’t they?

Remember this:

It was mentioned some where on Tumblr that this looks similar to the cocoon that Uzi broke out of in Episode 4 when she transformed into her solver form only N is being dragged in. This is obviously a biomechanical phenomenon of the solver. But why is he being dragged in?

To have his “final transformation” , a “final form” you may say?

The only thing is, after Uzis transformation, is when the solver really started to gain power over her, taking control of her as seen in Episode 4 and recently in Episode 6. As soon as she became biomechanical, the solver gained more control over her.

(Edit: sO this cocoon theory was wrong, but his emotions can still spill over and cause this!!! So its not fully wrong yet!)

Now think of the scene above and what happened to Uzi in Episode 4, but with N. N gets dragged into this cocoon, fighting but not able to escape, while Uzi is fighting inside her mind with the real solver, posing as CYN in the mansion as Uzi is trying not to lose her mind. While she’s stuck, N has his transformation, now not able to be protected by CYNs administration since Uzi is now the administrator of him and V, so he undergoes the transition, the solver not having much to fight against converting him to a biomechanical creature like Uzi. This gives it more power over N, and gives it a chance to take advantage of the situation to bury itself into N’s code, making his solver string: true. Now N has the same thing inside him that has possibly taken everything from him.

After this, he either gets possessed fully and goes on a rampage or the possession is slow, painful after he manages to escape the cocoon and get to the surface. Either by this point Uzi is still fighting in her head and N thinks she’s fully gone or dead OR she has successfully fought the solver and is looking for N. All his repressed emotions, everything that has happened, everything he’s lost…it’s all become too much. He snaps, lashing out on whatever is in front of him, this being the building we see in half in the teaser from yesterday. Before he can stop himself, he angrily swings toward the building, but instead of a sword, his gun or his claws coming out, there is this fleshy, gross growth that emerges, a blue solver symbol appearing in front of him and shooting towards the building, snapping it in half like a toothpick.

There is a moment of either him stopping in pure panic due to this OR his panic, sadness and fear turns into full on anger, him not able to repress anything anymore, taking a turn into a full on uncontrollable breakdown. The reason he had to repress his emotions for all this time, for fear of lashing out and hurting the ones he cares for. But now, as far as he knows, no one is left to care for. After all in the merch teaser today Uzi said really sarcastically:

“You’re meant to be better than us! Don’t become swallowed by the darkness/animal based merchandise (murders) like I have!”

And

“HIS EMOTIONS… CAN NOT BE CONTAINED!”

(which can be very much true)

This could end in either him being used by the solver as a host or Uzi coming back to help him and in turn as he said in the teaser:

“Okay I’m back! I’m better and it’s even deeper down now….haha! “ (basically his repressed emotions being repressed further for an even worst breakdown in a season 2)

That’s one turn it could take, but another could he that when he stops from pure panic due to what he’s become, similar to Uzi, and in the merch trailer today, and realizes he can use his newfound powers to save the ones he loves that are either left alive or find another way to fix what has happened.

(Someone mentioned on here that N’s solver powers could be similar to Time-travel to places he’s been to in the past, (like Dolls in teleportation to only places she has seen and Uzi doesn’t really have one yet, she’s not that far along in development of her solver) to go back and correct what mistakes he has made, fixing the timeline and THAT would be super cool if he does think he has lost everything or really has. If it ever find it on here again, I will tag it.)

Sorry this was SO LONG, but basically, N will have the blue solver due to the final two episodes and he will get a transformation like Uzis, having him grasp the thing that has basically ruined his life several times over being apart of him now, having to use it to save his loved ones. All the while not having a mental breakdown or angry blowup and losing control of his powers. So basically affecting the story and his choices greatly.

[jerzwriter]

Kaycee reflects on how life turned out exactly as she imagined it and how it didn't when she and Ethan dropped their daughter off at college for the first time. When they leave, they know their journey will lead them back to Boston, but will it lead them home?

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan x Kaycee (Past) Rating: Teen Words: 3,800 (sorry!) Summary: Please see above. A/N: This really took on a life of its own! @tessa-liam asked for two prompts from this list, and I merged it in with an anonymous ask from the same list. The three prompts are highlighted below, and they made for an angsty story! I hope you enjoy it!

This is not part of my HC - but a one-off, one-shot.

Participating in @julychallenge Pink: Love, Black: Loss.

Kaycee raised a cup of hot chocolate to her lips and smiled. It didn’t matter that she was now in her forties; she’d always prefer its silky, sweet taste more than coffee, and she didn’t care who knew it.

Sitting in the passenger seat of Ethan's parked car, she closed her eyes to listen to the sound of a gentle breeze rustling through the leaves outside; the moment felt almost perfect. It was exactly the day she had envisioned when she imagined dropping Emma off for her first semester of college. But as quickly as the thought entered her mind, she heard Ethan’s voice and was reminded – it wasn’t exactly as she had planned.

She stepped out of the car as they walked down a tree-lined path toward the car, Ethan’s arm wrapped protectively around their daughter’s shoulder.

“Now remember, you do not go out alone at night, no matter what. Wait for your roommate, another friend, or call campus security.”

"Yes, Dad," Emma said rolling her eyes. "You seem to forget I grew up in Boston – I have street smarts, Dad.”

The young woman looked to her mother, desperate for a save, and Kaycee reached out to embrace Emma one last time.

“Ethan, I don’t want to leave her either, but it’s getting dark, and it’s a long ride back to Boston.”

Ethan smiled tenderly as he stared at his “little girl.”

“It’s funny. I always imagined it would be me dragging you away, not the other way around.”

“Well,” Kaycee smiled curtly, “life has a way of surprising us.”

It had already been three years. Three years since their assets were divided, custody was determined, and with the scribbling of two signatures on a lifeless document, a marriage of almost twenty years came to an end. They’d come a long way since that painful day. Being in each other’s presence no longer elicited queasiness. The sight of each other didn't lead to dampened eyes or a feeling of guilt that consumed them. Still, it wasn’t easy. But today, they did what they always did best – they showed up for their daughter.

It was a two-hour drive from Boston to Hanover, New Hampshire. Ethan had hoped she’d pick his alma mater, Brown, where she’d only be 52 minutes away. But Kaycee reminded him that Emma’s top pick was originally UCLA. All things considered, Dartmouth wasn’t that far. But when Emma asked if they could all drive her to campus together, that two-hour journey suddenly felt much longer.

They were all surprised at how pleasant the ride up had been. Emma was a ball of nervous energy and chattering non-stop. The joy of heading off to college was mixed with the fear of being away from both her parents for the first time was familiar to her parents, and they both offered reassurance. They marveled over how it felt like it wasn’t so long ago that they were off to college – beginning their adult lives – at the starting line of all their dreams. They hoped Emma would realize as many of hers as they had, but they hoped other dreams would have happier endings than theirs.  

“...and I’m thinking I might double major,” she said without taking a breath. “Because Poli Sci is what I want to do... that’s my passion... but if I want to get into a top-tier law school, I think double majoring in English would be beneficial.”

“Sweetheart,” Kaycee smiled from the backseat. “Why don’t you get through your first semester? Then you can make that call.”

Ethan shook his head with a gentle chuckle. “Can someone tell me how a child with two parents who are renowned in the medical field is hell-bent on becoming a lawyer?”

“Dad,” Emma exasperated. “You always told me to pursue whatever I wanted to...”

“And I meant it,” he interrupted. “But you have to admit, this was unexpected.”

They arrived on campus and unpacked Ethan’s Porche Cayenne – the SUV Kaycee insisted was his mid-life crisis, even though he had already passed that point when he bought it. They could have left as soon as all the boxes were in the dorm room, but they refused to leave until her new bedspread was in place, the matching curtains hung, and little fairy lights twinkled around the perimeter of the room.

With no excuses to stay left, Kaycee turned to her daughter, her voice cracking with emotion. “Well, I guess this is it.”

“Mom!” Emma scolded. “We said no crying.”

“I know. But my baby’s all grown up. I’m entitled to a tear or two.”

The mother and daughter were wrapped in a hug when Ethan returned to the room holding a cardboard tray with two cups of coffee and one hot chocolate – he was elated that his daughter had his refined tastes in hot beverages.

“What did I miss here?” He asked.

“Mom’s starting to get weepy,” Emma smirked.

Kaycee wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “Just finishing our goodbyes,” she said. “I’ll go to the car to give you two some privacy.”

“You don’t have to leave...” Ethan started, but when he realized his ex-wife was about to burst into the tears she had promised Emma she’d hold back, he understood. “Fine,” he said, handing her his keys. “Why don't you wait in the car?”

Kaycee adjusted the passenger seat, admiring the soft leather. Ethan had always preferred to drive, and she’d spent a good portion of her life sitting beside him, but it was the first time she sat in this car, purchased right after their divorce. Remembering a life now lost was already difficult, but her mind rushed to places she had no desire to go.

Ethan had never been forthcoming about his relationships since their split. Of course, she had heard the rumors... some said he was dating the new Director of Nursing, others swore he and Harper had rekindled their old flame. But she never asked Ethan about them; it wasn’t her place. Their conversations revolved around Emma, and that’s how she kept it. Still, as she sat in a seat she once coveted, she couldn’t help but wonder if others now filled that space.

The sound of the driver’s door opening quickly ushered her back to reality, and she was grateful she could blame her tear-filled eyes on Emma.

Ethan turned to her with a tender smile that Kaycee hadn’t seen in some time. “She’s going to be OK," he reassured.

“Oh, I have no doubt about that,” she replied, dabbing her eyes. “It’s me that I’m worried about.”

Ethan had to chuckle. “I know that feeling quite well.”

An awkward silence fell between them. At another time, they would have hugged and offered each other assurances. He would have told her their new chapter was beginning, too. They could focus on the dreams they had planned together, but now, he just fumbled to find a classical music playlist as he started the drive.

“Thank you for agreeing to drive up together,” he finally spoke.

“Of course. Emma wanted both of us here. I’d never deny her that.”

“No, but if I’m being honest, I half expected you to tell me you were taking a Greyhound on the return trip home.”

A slow smile spread on her lips, and she confessed. “I did price them.”

“I bet you did,” he laughed.

The conversation turned to the other comfortable topic between them: Medicine. He lauded her recent article in the New England Journal of Medicine, and he told her when he planned to retire. Kaycee reminded him that Emma embracing law wasn’t too odd; after all, it had been her second career choice, too. He quickly reminded her that he remembered. He remembered more than she knew.

They drove for about an hour when a pinging sound began getting louder and louder. Kaycee tried not to chuckle when the expensive car came to a halt, knowing her trusty old Toyota would have never stranded them like this. Ethan looked under the hood, then returned to the car with a sigh.

“Tripple A will be here shortly,” he informed. “There’s a Porche dealer a few miles away, but of course, they’re closed until the morning.”

“Of course,” she half grinned.

Ethan turned to her with a smirk, and she couldn’t decide if it was one of annoyance or amusement, so she decided to believe it was a little of both.

“Are you enjoying this?” He said sarcastically.

“I always told you that simple was better when it came to cars. There’s no need for the expensive bells and whistles.”

“Yeah,” He chuckled sadly. “You told me a lot of things.”

“I’d tell you what Greyhound could get us back to Boston, but the last one left forty minutes ago... “

“Yep! I think we’re stranded here for the night, too. Not just my car.”

When the Tripple A driver arrived, Ethan and Kaycee hopped into the cab of his tow truck.

“There is a hotel nearby,” the man said. “I’m happy to bring you there. But there might not be any vacancy. A lot of local colleges are welcoming students this weekend, and a lot of parents who aren’t letting go stay nearby.”

“Yeah,” Kaycee barked out a laugh. “We’re familiar with that!"

“Oh, I see,” the man grinned. “You’re those parents. Well, as someone who has been through this, I can tell you it gets easier. Just think of it as the start of your second honeymoon.”

“Oh, no, we’re not...” Kaycee started but decided to skip it as they pulled up to a Comfort Inn. “You know, never mind.”

“This is the only place around here,” the driver informed. “If you can get a ride, there are more places about twenty miles down the road.”

Ethan looked at his watch. “The vacancy light is on, and it’s been a long day. This will do just fine.”

Kaycee ran to the restroom in the lobby while Ethan went to the front desk to secure rooms. When she stepped back out, she saw him grimace.

“Before I tell the desk clerk yes, are you sure you don't want to get an Uber to another hotel?”

Kaycee scrunched her nose. “An Uber in these parts? At this time of night? Unlikely. What’s the matter,” she chuckled. “Did you check the reviews and find out it’s not a five-star rating?”

“No, wiseass,” he smiled, enjoying the banter that used to be part of his daily life. “The problem is, they only have one room left.”

“Oh,” Kaycee said with a fallen face.  

“Exactly.”

“Well,” she laughed nervously. “We’ve round ourselves in this position before, haven’t we?”

Both their minds drifted to the conference in Miami during Kaycee’s intern year.

“Yes,” Ethan replied. “But that was a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.”

“Ethan,” Kaycee shrugged. “We’ve been in each other’s lives for decades. We have a child together. We can share a room for one night unless...”

Unless there is someone in your life who would prefer you didn’t, she thought as Ethan asked her to continue.

“Uhm, never mind. We’ll be fine for one night.”

The walk to their room was peppered with small talk in an attempt to break the tension. But they were both so tired that they really didn’t care. They’d fall asleep, wake up, and find a way home. Everything would be back to normal. That's what they thought until Ethan opened the door.

“There’s only one bed?” Kaycee gasped.

“The front desk said there were two queen-sized beds!” Ethan insisted.

“Well, by my calculations, there is only ONE.”

“Obviously, they were wrong.”

“Noooo!” Kaycee mocked to Ethan’s chagrin. He looked around the tiny room; the only other furniture was an uncomfortable looking chair and desk.

“I’ll sleep in the chair,” he declared.  

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Kaycee insisted. “Ethan, it’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before.”

“Yeah... that was the norm for us... until that... changed.”

They exchanged an uneasy look, and both understood the best thing to do was go to sleep quickly. After kicking off their shoes, they both lay perched on the edge of the mattress, facing away from the other. Though they weren’t touching each other at all, their presence was obvious, and as exhausted as they were, suddenly, neither could sleep.

“Kaycee, are you still awake?” Ethan whispered.

“Yes.”

“How is our little girl already in college?”

“I don’t know,” she said sadly. “The years just flew by. And it’s odd because some of those days and weeks felt like an eternity, but I turned around twice...” she audibly gulped. “... and they were gone.”

The room went silent; all Kaycee could hear was her ex-husband's breathing. “So many precious days,” he lamented. “I know I haven’t thanked you enough."

“Me?” a startled Kaycee replied.

“You’re the only one here,” he chuckled. "Emma is a remarkable young woman, and I’m not just saying that because she’s my daughter."

“I know she is,” Kaycee laughed, rolling on her side to face Ethan, who had already turned her way.

“Well, that’s in large part because of you, and I should thank you more often.”

“You’re just as responsible,” Kaycee insisted. “You’re an amazing father, Ethan. You always were.”

He fell silent, hoping the darkness of the room would prevent Kaycee from seeing the emotion in his eyes, though there was no way to conceal it in his voice. If I had been an amazing father, I wouldn’t have let our family end. If I had been an amazing father, I would have fought harder for us to work, he thought, but all that came out was a broken.

“Thank you. You know, when you walked into Edenbrook all those years ago, I had no idea how much my life was about to change,” he smiled as Kaycee shifted uncomfortably.

“Ethan... it’s probably best if we don’t talk about this. I think we should just....”

With that, the lights flicked on, and Ethan was sitting upright.

“Why not?” he asked. “Not making time to talk is where everything started to go wrong for us.”

“It was,” she concurred. “But the time to fix that passed a long time ago. The ink on our divorce papers is long dry, Ethan. This isn't how it works.”  

“It can work anyway we want it to,” he countered. “Kaycee, we may not be together anymore, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be a part of each other’s lives.”

“We’ll always be a part of each other’s lives. We have Emma.”

“I don’t mean because of Emma. I want you to be a part of my life because, with the exception of our daughter, you've been the single most important person in my life. For the past three years, I’ve felt like a stranger in my own soul without you. I miss hearing your voice. I miss your laugh. When I have exciting news, you're the only one I want to tell it to. I want you to be more than the person I arrange drop-offs with, and now that Emma is grown, we won’t even have that.”

“Are you telling me you want to be friends? She asked.

No. I don’t want to be friends. I want us to be so much more, and I wish I had the nerve to say it.

“Ethan,” she repeated after an extended silence. She saw the tears glistening in his eyes as he reached over and pushed a strand of hair away from her face.

“Friends.... or something,” he choked.

Kaycee’s head fell into her hands, partly because she was tired, partly because she was trying not to cry.  

“Ethan, where did it all go wrong?”

Their minds drifted back in time to the days of trying to manage two busy careers with the needs of their child, long days filled with demands, exhaustion, and the feeling that they could never get it right. Sometimes, they fought; sometimes, they held it all in. Sometimes they turned the guilt inward... they weren’t good enough, they were failing, they should be better at this... and sometimes, they projected it onto the other... "You never...", "You used to...", "I can't believe you..." In time, they learned being alone isn't the worst feeling in the world, being in a relationship, but feeling alone was, and when the loneliness became too much to bear, they decided it should end.

“Why did we let it go?" Kaycee sniffled. “There was no affair, no hatred, even our fights weren’t all that bad. Our marriage was like a boat, just drifting away as we watched, and neither of us thought enough to help it change its course.”

“We were focused on work,” Ethan sighed with regret. “Focused on Emma. Then we had elderly parents to care for... it took so much of our time that in the end, we forgot to focus on each other.”

“But we knew what we had was special. Why the hell didn’t we fight for it!”

“You wanted to,” Ethan whispered. “You wanted to. I... I blame myself.”

“Ethan, you weren’t the only one responsible for our marriage ending.”

“I’m the one who stormed out of counseling, telling the counselor that it was absolutely useless. I’m the one who began to withdraw. You begged me to try.”

Feelings they believed to be long buried began to rise to the surface again, and the pain was as raw as it had ever been.

“You withdrew... but I never asked you why you did. I let my imagination get the better of me and...”

“And?”

“Did you stop loving me?” She asked, tears now streaming down her cheeks.

“No!” Ethan gasped. “Oh, God no, I never once stopped loving you.”

“I allowed myself to believe that you did,” she said, wiping her nose with her sleeve. “I felt like an obligation... like if we didn't have a piece of paper decreeing that we had to be together, you'd be long gone. And I swore I’d never be in a marriage like that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“I thought I did,” Kaycee replied. “Maybe not with words, but with actions. I tried to give signs, but..."

“Kaycee, I never learned to read  your mind.”

“I know that... and that’s why I’m as responsible as you for letting our marriage die.”

“I wish I would have fought harder,” Ethan wept as Kaycee’s floodgates opened.

“Me too,” she shuddered. “Me too.”

Ethan instinctively reached for her hand, surprised when Kaycee fell into his arms. His arms encircled her and held her close. Both were overwhelmed by the warmth and familiarity, a feeling of comfort from a time long gone when they were each other’s port in a storm. When they were each other's home.

“I’m sorry,” Ethan cried. “I’m sorry I let it end.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Kaycee cried into his shirt. Ethan went to pull away, but she refused to let him go.

“Please... can you hold me just a little longer?"

“Of course,” he whispered, resting his head on hers as she nuzzled into his shoulder.

Comforted by his touch, Kaycee fell into a deep sleep and slept better than she had in a long time. But Ethan found no such relief; he remained awake all night, never letting her out of his arms until he got up in the early morning hours.

The sun was shining through the window, and Ethan was seated at the desk with an abysmal cup of coffee in hand when Kaycee woke up with a startle.

“Hey, are you OK?” he asked, as she groggily nodded. He moved to the edge of the bed and sat beside her. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing... you’re here,” she replied.

“Did you forget? The car broke down, we had to stay here, there was only one room...”

“No... no,” Kaycee stopped him. “I remember all that. I just had a bad dream. I dreamt that you left me during the night, and I woke up alone.”

“Well, you made sure I couldn’t do that, even if I had wanted to,” he smiled. “You basically slept on top of me all night.”

“I did!”

“You did," he smiled. "Did you at least sleep well?"

“Like a baby – and you?”

“I slept OK,” he fibbed, pointing to the paper cup on the desk. “That cup of swill parading as coffee should help wake me up a little more.”

“Yeah,” she laughed. “I think I’ll make myself a cup, too. If you have to suffer through it, I should, too.”

She flung her legs over the side of the bed, but Ethan grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the mattress.

“Kaycee, I have to tell you something before I lose my nerve.”

A line formed between her brows. “What... what is it?”

“I need to tell you what I should have said three years ago. That I’m sorry. I took us for granted and allowed life to come between us, which was so foolish because you... you were my life. I've felt like a stranger wandering in a strange land where he no longer belongs for the past three years. See, I love you, Kaycee. I never stopped, and the biggest regret of my life is that I let you go. So, I know the answer is probably no, maybe you'll think I’m crazy, and I could be... but is there a chance... any possibility that you and I could try again. If we can, I promise, I'll get it right this time."

He sat in nervous anticipation in every silent moment that followed. Kaycee’s eyes were wide, and her lip trembled, but he wasn’t sure why. It was taking too long. It was taking too long, and he braced himself for rejection... the rejection he now realized that he had feared so desperately that he found it easier to let her go. But it only took a moment for all that to change.

Kaycee threw her arms around his neck, holding him tight as she peppered him with kisses and pushed him back on the bed. Her lips found his, and they came together; their hearts raced as it deepened, their hands caressing the curves they still knew by heart. At long last, they were home.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he smiled breathlessly.

 “What gave it away?” she giggled, kissing him again. “But we have to take it slow. You’re the love of my life, and I want this to work more than anything, but we have to think of Emma. The divorce was hard on her, and we can’t let her know about this until we’re sure... 100% sure... that we’re forever.”

“I agree,” he smiled, his hands running through her hair. “You take all the time you need, but I know... if you’ll have me... this is forever. I don’t want to know a day without you again.”

“Can I have a week or two?" she grinned.

“As long as I can see you during every one of those days.”

After another lengthy kiss, Ethan reached for the hotel phone.

“What are you doing?” Kaycee asked.

“Calling the front desk.”

“Why?”

“Because check out is in a half hour, and we’re going to need this room longer.”

"Are we," she grinned. "I'm not on the schedule tomorrow; what about you?"

“Me?" Ethan beamed. "I’ll be calling out.”

"Good," Kaycee smiled, "Because we're going to need this room for another night."

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately.

[winterrrnight]

BESTIE, CONGRATS ON 300 !! i’m so freaking happy for you. you deserve this so so much 🤍. i’m so in love with all of the fics you’ve written so far.

i’m here to request: meet me in the hallway. choose out of drew, rafe, & zach + a prompt.

ofc i’m gonna choose my bby zach with #29

i luv uuu 🤍

thank you so so much anna!! I love you so much, thank you for all your love and support <3 this request has me on my knees with how cute it turned out to be, I hope you love reading it!

a beautiful, drunken mess

PAIRING: zach maclaren x gn!reader

SUMMARY: your best friend needs to call your knight in shining armor when you get a little too drunk

WARNINGS: alcohol consumption

EDITH SPEAKS: OH MY GOD yes we're kickstarting my 300 celly fic requests!! I've gotten so so many requests and I swear I'm so excited to write each one of them. I got late to starting on these because my hectic schedule and my writer's block got the best of me, but I'm back :))

Please reblog if you liked this!! feedback is always appreciated 🫂

PROMPT REQUESTED: "you sleep with the stuffed animal I got you?" "of course."

300 followers celebration || navigation

You've never been one to party hard and get so drunk you can't see clearly in front of yourself. But when you finally pass some of the toughest exams you've ever had to give, you knew you wanted to party till you can't breathe.

And that's what you did. The biggest frat party happening in a rich kid's home from your university has adrenaline coursing through your veins as you don't think twice before taking a shot.

In fact, you got carried away so much, that your best friend Tessa who is literally known to be the biggest party animal in your whole university, is concerned for you.

"Give me that," she grunts, taking the millionth cup you were about to down. You pout, trying to get it back, but the alcohol has made your mind all fuzzy and you aren't very sure what exactly you're trying to do.

"Who knew you had this hidden side?" Tessa says, shaking her head as she takes your hand and leads you out to the garden of the big house. You try your best to stop her from dragging you, but your drunken power is no match for her quite sober one.

"Tess come on! I'm not done yet," you huff, your arms crossed across your chest as you see Tessa is basically blocking the door.

"Nuh uh, not today," she says, pulling out her phone. "You need to get home, like right now,"

You groan out loud, and you attempt to simply walk on the lush grass you're both standing at, but you greatly miscalculate your steps and fall on the grass, head first.

Tessa rushes up to you, asking you over and over if you're okay. You just look up at her and start giggling constantly.

"I'm okay," you say in between your giggles, your own mistake having you amused. Tessa sighs at you and quickly finds the contact in her phone she was trying to find, before you decided to take a fall.

She impatiently taps her foot, waiting for the person who's supposedly on the end of the phone to pick up.

"Hello?"

Finally.

"Zach hi!"

"Tessa, you okay?"

"Yeah, I just need you to come and get your... thing," she says, looking at you lying on the ground and looking up the stars as you hum to a melody.

Zach laughs on the other end. "What happened?"

"Too drunk, can't even see straight," Tessa groans. "You need to come over right now."

"I'm on my way."

Tessa lets out a sigh of relief on hearing those words. She turns towards you, and lets her hand out for you to grab onto.

"Come on, Zach is coming to pick you up," she says, helping you stand up, in a not so graceful fashion.

Hearing the word 'Zach' lightens a light bulb in your head. "Zach? Where's Zach? I need my Zach," you slur, trying to run around the garden, as if he's standing right there and you just can't see him. Tessa has a hard time but she finally catches up to you, firmly grips your hand to make sure you don't run off and do something stupid again.

"He's coming, okay?" She huffs out, holding onto you tightly. She's expecting you to throw some sorts of tantrum, to complain how your boyfriend actually is here and she's just hiding him on purpose, but instead, you only nod obediently.

Tessa hears footsteps approaching you both, and just as she turns around, she swears she could've have cried out of happiness.

Zach is standing there, looking at the two of them with a smile on his face.

"Zach!" You yell excitedly, as you run (or, try to run) to him. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you in a hug, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

"Hey baby," he mumbles, leaning in to kiss you on your lips. You sigh at the feeling of his soft lips on yours, your eyes fluttered close and a million butterflies prancing around in your stomach.

"Thank you Tessa, we'll be going home now," Zach acknowledges the girl standing at the back, letting you both enjoy your moment. She nods with a smile on her face and goes back inside to the rest of the party, and Zach leads you back out to his car.

He definitely has a struggle settling you in the car seat and buckling your seat belt, as you've never been this drunk before and it's also his first time taking care of super-drunk you.

But, he doesn't hate it or finds it to be a difficult task. You're sitting in the seat next to him, saying little cute things that have his heart racing.

"You're so cute Zach, you always take such good care of me," you pout, poking his bicep. He laughs at you, and you continue to praise him.

"You're just," you sigh, "perfect. I couldn't have someone as perfect as you."

You definitely weren't aware of what you were saying, but Zach knows you being drunk isn't the only time you'll say these words to him. You love to constantly drop little phrases to let him know you do appreciate him and every single thing he does for you.

Both of you being relatively a new couple, it does take a big toll on you both because you aren't used to saying or listening to such kind words so often, but you both also know you wouldn't want to share this with anyone else.

"We're home," he looks at you with a smile on his face, as he gets out of his car, runs up to your side and helps you out. With an arm looped around your shoulders to help you maintain your balance, he leads you in to your home.

He takes you in to your room, and gently lets you lay down on your bed. It's a bit of a struggle, but he finally gets you to remove your outfit and replace it with a more comfortable one.

"Thank you Zach," you say, as he tucks you in your warm duvet. He leans in to press a kiss to your nose, and makes a mental note to leave a glass of water and an advil on your bedside table before he leaves.

As he is about to walk out, you call him out and stop him from leaving.

"What happened?" He asks, his hand on the light switch.

"I, I need Arlo, can you find him please he isn't here," Zach is confused on hearing these words, but when he sees tears starting to brim in your eyes, he knows this Arlo is important.

"Arlo? Babe I'm afraid I don't understand," he asks you, walking closer to you.

"Can you check under the bed please?"

Zach isn't sure what he's looking for, but he'll do anything for you. He leans down on his knees and looks below the bed, and of course, he makes out a silhouette of some stuffed toy under the bed. He reaches his hand out to grab onto it, and when he sees it, he realises he knows exactly what it is.

For one of your first dates, Zach took you to your local city carnival. He was determined to get you a good toy from any game, just like any good boyfriend would (his words, not yours), and after loads of struggle, a lot of pennies and many comforting hugs and words from you, he finally wins you one.

It's a little brown colored dinosaur stuffed toy, and Zach had no idea how attached you would get to it.

"You sleep with the stuffed animal I got you?" He asks, handing it to you as you take it and brush off the dust off it.

"Of course, I love it," you smile, tucking in the dinosaur with you. Zach can't help but give you another kiss, gently caressing your cheek as his lips trace yours.

He leaves the room to get the water and the pill, and when he comes back, he sees you already passed out. Arlo is tucked safely under your arm, and Zach knows he can watch this for hours on end.

Because you're his beautiful, drunken mess, and he wouldn't want you in any other way. (Well, maybe not this drunk, but you know what he means.)

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

TAGLIST: @runningfrom2am @saccharinesammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @viawritesstuff @wallsdreams @tahliac11 @sadfury @newsies-pape-girl @jamesbuckybarneswify @xxxlaura @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles

[fairdale]

to william herondale, with love

you have two options when it comes about will.

you can choose to stay in the surface, to think of him as a sassy, sarcastic, superficial and selfish man who doesn't give a shit about anything nor anyone except for jem, who makes insensitive jokes and doesn't care if he hurts people.

or you can choose to know him. the little parts of him that make him wonderful, sweet, delicate and caring. and, oh, how much love will fill your heart when you realise how much he deserves to be loved.

and how much he craves it.

will is sarcastic, yes. he's funny, he pulls off jokes like it's nothing, he makes people laugh, he sings the demon pox song and makes everyone think he's a little crazy.

but he's also the kid who left his family too young because he thought he was cursed and he loved them too much.

he's also the kid who thought no one could ever love him anymore.

he's also the kid who felt terribly lonely after leaving his family.

he's also the kid who wanted jem to be his parabatai so badly he didn't care he was sick and that he would leave him too soon.

he's also the kid who didn't want people too close to him because he loved them and didn't want anything bad to happen to them. jem was different. it wasn't just because he was sick, it's because he was jem. because jem saw who he truly was when no one else did. his heart beat because jem's did as well.

he's also the man who loved to read. the man whose name will still be dancing in the walls of the library centuries later. the man who found a safe place between books.

he's also the man who was so in love with tessa he tried to break the curse after years of living like that, because his love was so pure, so deep, so real, he had to do something.

he's also the man who put his hands into the fire to save jem's yin fen, because he couldn't imagine a life without him. because he didn't want a life without him.

he's also the man who was desperately in love with tessa, but made himself scarce because he couldn't put his own happiness over tessa and jem's. because he saw how good they were to each other.

he's also the man who held jessamine in his arms when she died too young.

he's also the man who let jem go when he told him he didn't want to live like that anymore even though it would forever break him and he would take a part of his soul with him.

he's also the man who went to save tessa even when he felt his heart getting carved out of his chest when jem died.

he's also the man who learned how to have his sister next to him again, the man who went back to his parents even if he were terrified.

he's also the man who made sure tessa never doubted for a second that he was devoted to her.

he's also the man who travelled the world with her and wrote her letters to show his love.

he's also the man who made sure to love his children loudly, to tell them he was proud of them and that they weren't monsters.

he's also the man who fought against injustices in the clave.

he was also the man who died surrounded by his loved ones (because he was, in fact, so loved).

he was also the man watching jem and tessa's wedding dream since the other side of the river, being happy for them.

will was the man with a heart so big he didn't know what to do with all the love he held in it.

when someone asks me, but why do you love him so much? well, how can you not? how, when he tried to love so quietly but he was screaming, when he was trying not to care but he cared more than anyone.

will herondale was, is and forever will be the character i hold closest to my heart, the character who made me laugh, cry and love the most.

"he lies consistently. he always invents the story that will make him look the worst."

"but it was there, in the touch of his hand on her cheek, in the softness of his voice, in his eyes when he looked at her. it was the way she had always dreamed a boy would look at her. but she never dreamed up someone as beautiful as will, not in all her imaginings."

"all my life, since i came to the institute, you were the mirror of my soul. i saw the good in me in you. in your eyes alone i found grace. when you are gone from me, who will see me like that?"

"against his own will, almost, will felt himself understanding; he would have done anything, he thought, told any lie, taken any risk, to make tessa love him. he would have done— almost anything. he would not betray jem for it. that was the one thing he would not do."

"don’t you see, will? you’re a person like me. you are like me. you say the things i think but never say out loud. you read the books i read. you love the poetry i love. you make me laugh with your ridiculous songs and the way you see the truth of everything. "

"when she tilted her head up and brushed his lips with hers, he cupped her face in his hands. so many years, he thought, and each kiss was new as the break of day."

"wo men shi sheng si ji jiao," said will, and he saw jem’s eyes widen, fractionally, and the spark of amusement inside them. "go in peace, james carstairs."

"and in the shadows they’d whispered, reminding each other of the stories only they knew. of the girl who had hit over the head with a water jug the boy who had come to rescue her, and how he had fallen in love with her in that instant."

"she remembered when will had died, her agony, the long nights alone, reaching across the bed every morning when she woke up, for years expecting to find him there, and only slowly growing accustomed to the fact that side of the bed would always be empty."

"i don’t know how to live in the world as a shadowhunter without will. i don’t think I even want to. i am still a parabatai, but my other half is gone. if I were to go to some Institute and ask them to take me in, i would never forget that. i would never feel whole."

"i miss you. we miss you. someday, we'll all be together. not too soon, my angel tessa. i can wait."

...

"my name is herondale," the boy said cheerfully. "william herondale, but everyone calls me will."