#and that feels weird to me bcs it kind of basically just dropped from a steady high Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[lazylittledragon]

so uhhhhhhhh. not to be cryptic and bitchy on main but congratulations to everyone in my messages for like 5 months on being right i guess

[bugflies00]

sorry this is referencing a few month old post/s you made about the dream situation and a question you’d asked about dream stans, you can delete this msg if you want since it’s not as relevant anymore. Again I’m sorry if this is weird or you don’t gaf (that’s fair bc who does lol)

TW for grooming and dream being fucking gross. You can just scroll fast and delete if you don’t want to read or deal with this, I understand that

-

To preface Im about Tommy’s age now, when I was 15-17, used to be a huge dream stan, and I was very vocal about defending him online. —I was extremely parasocial and weird, and looking back on it I really regret how I acted.

So. Idk how much people who weren’t stans of his saw, but dream- as stupid as it sounds- was our friend.

He had bath calls with us, sleep calls with us, he told us in depth about his personal life and his health issues and his trauma and his moods and his habits and just basically everything. Most of his interactions with us was through his discord, and then someone in the fandom would stream his discord calls for people who weren’t there. A running joke was that dream had a parasocial relationship with us. there was absolutely no gap between creator and fan, he followed me more than once, he brought fans onto his discord streams and talked with them and he knew a good amount of us by name. He called us cute and talked about how much we all (as individuals) meant to him,

when drama happened he’d usually either do a space/call or go on his private and vent to us, there were I think two separate times he’d have full panic attacks over drama happening, and we’d have to talk him down. He also would, when responding to callouts or accusations, use arguments that his fans were making.

He did this during almost all his pitfalls, including the grooming allegations, his wording was often taken word for word from tweets by people I was friends with. I dropped him after the initial allegations, but for a while after i still checked in bc i was really hoping he’d be innocent (he wasn’t) and i can confirm he still does this. He also regularly dmed his fans, mostly his black fans, to ask for “help” on being less racist.

I don’t use the word “grooming” lightly, but dream was and is absolutely grooming his audience. Thats why dream stans seem so cult-like these days. The amount of guiltripping, lying, forcing an us vs them mentality, and manipulation I saw this man pull was actually sick. He’d frequently, privately, to us, vent about tommy or quackity, and about how “all his friends hated him” and “we were all he had left” (legit, not joking). He is extremely good at emotional blackmail, he is good at making his fans hate other creators and turn on them, he is very good at utilizing his tears and using wording that he knows will make his mostly teenage fanbase think he’s a good kind person.

He wants to impress on his fans that he really was just a kind person, the only kind person and the only voice of reason. That’s why when the Cantu thing happened, he started posting “messages” of him being so kind to the Uber driver. He needs his fans to think he’s a kind and loving person, and that Tommy and quackity and literally everyone who’s pulled away from him was just a fake friend who couldn’t be trusted. He somehow was always, always the one being fucked over.

I remember when I told my friend about dream (this friend had a completely neutral opinion on him and barely knew the guy beyond his manhunts) and he told me that sounded like grooming.

He gradually isolated his (primarily young, female) fanbase using private accounts, discord calls, Snapchat, and whatever else. He got extremely personal with us far beyond the level any creator should be, he used kindness and flattery (like calling us “mature”. Also legit) to make us feel genuinely loved by him, again, NOT in the way a creator loves their fans. In the way a friend loves their friends, even in the way a partner loves their partner. He lashed out at us and had panic attacks when we did criticize him, he used tactics to make us think he was always right and good, and more than that, make all his detractors seem like terrible people out to get him AND us, he played himself out to be the perpetual victim and used carefully cut clips and emotional manipulation (like how he brought up his ~poor innocent family~ when harassing quackity. Weaponizing trauma like that was something he did ALL THE TIME to us whenever he was criticized.) in order to use us against people he didn’t like, making us take the bullet for him.

He uses his kindness and supposed goodness as a weapon, he used Tommy’s own trauma around doxxing against him when Tommy dared to criticize him (“I supported you when you were getting doxxed, yet you won’t do the same for me?”)

He used trauma to relate to his audience, making us feel like he was the only person who got it.

It’ll sound stupid, but it was genuinely really scarring. The way he made me and my friends feel was so confusing. I often found myself feeling used and violated, but also like I was in debt to him. I dreaded when he’d have fans on call, I dreaded him but also he felt like all I had. The tone of him and the fandom was that “we have to defend him at all costs, they’re out to get him and we’re the last line of support he has”. It was embarrassing, it was stressful, it was horrible. I wasted so much fucking time and energy on him.

it was really traumatic and distressing, especially as a teenager who’d already been at a vulnerable point and used him as an escape originally. I know that sounds melodramatic but I mean it.

He is a groomer through and through. He’s barely getting any new fans, but he’s barely losing any either bc the grasp he has on them is so tight.

Worst of all, if you leave the fandom, you’ll lose your friends and become an enemy. He encourages that behaviour and that mentality. He encourages harassment of his ex-friends, he encourages harassment of anyone who doesn’t like him. He wants you to feel like he’s the only good person, and like he’s the only one who will care about you. And I know at least in my experience that the way I acted when I was a fan of his did genuinely cause me to feel alienated in my social life. I lost friends, I felt like I couldn’t talk to anyone “safely”. That’s how he wants his fans to feel, because at some point he really is all you have.

And that’s why dream stans are still sticking around. It’s at the point where the only way they’ll leave is on their own volition, and the more publicly fucked shit he does, the less hope I have that they’ll do that.

i don’t have much to add but i agree, and several people i know who used to be big dream fans also agreed that there was a heavily insidious ‘us vs them’ atmosphere

[shallowseeker]

headcanon: cas plays dumb sometimes about metaphor bc he knows dean likes explaining stuff and also sometimes when he plays dumb it makes dean giggle

What was that fic, I think it was Put up Your Dukes, by saltyfeathers that said Cas keeps the idiot-ball in his pocket at all times?

Ah yes. It was:

Dean knows Cas is more aware of the situation than he lets on. Since becoming a full time human (no take backsies this time), Cas has developed a keen sense of selective comprehension. Basically, he keeps the idiot ball in his pocket at all times, in case he thinks letting on that he understands something isn’t going to play to his advantage.

Season 6 script that dropped today hints at that too. I love it, because it colors Dean's somtimes-annoyance with Cas in about ten extra shades of hilarious.

Dean sometimes responds to Ca's weird one-liners with a shade of "Are you fuckin' with me, Cas?" And sometimes Dean's exactly right: Cas IS fuckin' with him.

//

That is the grumble of an angel who knows what he's doing (sometimes).

6x03 The Third Man (TVWriting source)

///

BONUS: even when he's closer to human-ish, Cas only pretends to be drunk and loopy in 9x09... and Dean both recognizes and joins in on the ruse:

CASTIEL: Nah. I'll get it. [CASTIEL hops off his bar stool, then returns.] Mm. (swigging the last of his old beer, and setting the bottle on the table.) You know, I've never done this before. DEAN: (sighs) One beer, he's hammered.

Of course, as soon as Sam is out of the scene, Cas drops the act, and he and Dean have a Serious conversation, then gaze excruciatingly at one another as they discuss their "temporary" separation.

CASTIEL: (clears throat, dropping the act) I, um, I noticed you look... kind of uncomfortable whenever Sam mentions my leaving. Doesn't he know that you told me to leave? DEAN: Here's the deal. When Sam was doing the trials to seal up Hell, it messed him up. Okay? The third one nearly killed him. If I'd let him finish, it would have. He's still messed up, bad. CASTIEL: You said the angel, Ezekiel, helped heal him. DEAN: (looks down, avoiding the question) Look, I got to do anything I can to get him back. Now, if that means that we keep our distance from you for a little while, then... Then I don't have a choice. I don't feel good about it, but I don't have a choice. It's great to have your help, Cas. Okay, but we just can't work together. CAS looks sad.

The most hilarious part about this conversation is that it slips that the distance they're keeping is for what? A LITTLE WHILE.

Good God, you two. It's a little while, not forever, and in retrospect, it LOOKS LIKE YOU TWO ARE AWARE/HAVE DISCUSSED THAT. Suck it up, saplings!

Anywaaaaay TLDR; I love when Cas pretends to be an idiot almost as much as when he is being an actual idiot.

[jishyucks]

Happy Holidays! The Universe Hates Me. — hrj

‣ pairing: huang renjun x reader

‣ genre: fluff, academic-rivals-to-(implied)lovers, forced proximity, kinda slice-of-life

‣ wc: 3.7k

‣ summary: You don’t hate many things, but you could proudly say that you hate snow and Huang Renjun. And now that the universe has decided that it was a great idea to have you snowed in with the smartass himself, you’ll gladly add the universe to that list.

‣ warnings: slightly one-sided rivalry (more so Renjun’s developed feelings before reader so he’s acting on it before reader even gets what they’re feeling), the pair eat some cup ramen, set in that weird period where they dk how they feel

‣ an: I rly thought this was going to be easy to write but sike (⊙_⊙) ig its bc its basically e2l and these r difficult to write,, I was excited to write Renjun's but idk if I did my own idea justice,, anyways I hope it's still a fun read!

Series Masterlist

You’ve never been so nervous for a final in your life.

Sure, you didn’t find the content difficult, nor did you feel lost. Hell, if you were asked to explain the content with no aids, you can confidently do it. 

The only reason why you were so nervous for a damn final was because you knew that Huang Renjun was going to do better than you. Why? You’re not sure. But you had this gut feeling that his name was going to be listed right above yours on that stupid list and you were not going to let that happen. 

“You need to go home soon, okay?” Karina frowns. She’s all bundled up, a scarf tightly wrapped over her face to shield her from Jack Frost. She knows how much of a workaholic you were, especially when it came to Renjun, “It’s getting late. It’s already dark out and there’s no one else here. Text me when you get home.”

You nod, “I will, I promise. I’ll just finish this last lesson and then I’ll leave. I’m hungry, anyway.” 

Her stern expression softens underneath her scarf and she teasingly ruffles your hair, “Talk to you later, honeybun.” 

You wave and watch her leave before turning back to the scattered papers in front of you, your laptop burning holes in your eyes because you’ve been staring at it for way longer than a physician’s recommendation. The final was on physics, something that wasn’t your strongest suit. It was probably because the way your teachers decided to word the questions on exams screwed you over—but then again, you couldn’t blame your struggles on that. 

Maybe you did just suck at physics. 

Your eyes scanned the lesson you were currently studying, quietly reading it under your breath so that you could process the information—critical threshold… velocity… laminar to turbulent… fluid and momentum… the dissipation of energy…

“Ughhhh!” 

Your heart drops to your stomach, eyes almost slipping out of their sockets at the sound of another person groaning. You clearly remember Karina just saying that there wasn’t anyone else here. 

Then who in the actual fuck…

Your mind jumps to conclusions and thinks up the worst-case scenario. It could be a ghost… were you Scrooge and the ghosts here to visit you? No fucking way… you loved Christmas… Or it could be a murderer. But what kind of murderer groans before he reaches his target?

Using this as an excuse to procrastinate, you quietly push your chair away from the table and stand up. You can recall that the groaning echoed from the back of the library, so you begin making your way down to the back of the room. Your attempt to keep your footsteps quiet, barely lifting them off from the ground.

You guess you were making your way in the correct direction because now you can hear the sound of muffled music. You suppose it was coming out of the other person’s headphones. 

As you approach the end of one of the aisles of books, you bend over and peek through the cracks between the books. Your eyes betray you, not focusing on the figure sitting at one of the tables because the books are in the way. Leaning closer, you squint to get a better look at the figure studying, head bopping to the music blaring through their headphones. 

Who is that?

When your eyes finally adjust, you curse under your breath.

Personally, you would rather it be a murderer on the other side of the shelf. 

Because Huang Renjun of all people? Here? With you? Did the universe hate you or something?

You let out a faint groan, squeezing your eyes before you go to turn back to your table. 

Of course, Huang Renjun would be here and studying late. There’s a small tiny part of you that wasn’t even surprised that Renjun was the only other person at school at this hour. There was a reason why you felt like he was seriously going to do better than you on this physics final. He worked for it despite being naturally intelligent. 

“Fucking Huang Renjun,” you gently let your forehead fall forward, making a gentle thud against the table. Fucking Huang Renjun because, suddenly, you no longer feel hungry and you now desperately wanted to finish a week’s worth of content before leaving. Sure the idea was immature—doing all this for some guy who thought he was smarter than everyone else—but you couldn’t help it. This was how it’s been since junior high. 

And old habits die hard, right?

For the next 2 hours, you push yourself to study for the stupid final, eyes straining as you continuously shift them between your laptop screen and your papers. And you say push yourself because now that you had the knowledge that Renjun was sitting metres away from you, you somehow could not focus for the life of you. It was like he had cast some spell on you to do anything but focus on physics. 

You groan. You have been reading the same paragraph on boundary layers for the past ten minutes, now hyper-aware of Renjun, and words blurring together. Despite your efforts, your mind wanders, and occasional stolen glances in his direction betray your attempts at concentration.

With an irritated sigh, you shake your head, attempting to bring yourself back to the task at hand. Why the fuck is Renjun occupying so much of your headspace?

Feeling defeated, you reach forward, roughly shutting your laptop closed before you begin bunching your papers up together. Not a single fibre in your body even cared if it was organized or not—that was for you to worry about later—because you just wanted out of here and away from Renjun before he completely plagues your mind. 

Finally, you throw your bag over your shoulder and begin making your way out of the library. 

Meanwhile, Renjun, who was managing well with his work catches sight of your figure leaving, winter coat zipped up to your nose. 

“Wait, Y/N!” 

You turn back to find Renjun pushing his seat back, getting up to make his way towards you. 

“Ugh,” you roll your eyes. You continue making your way out of the room, ignoring Renjun’s calls for you to stop. 

The mature response would be to, well, stop and listen, but after Renjun just indirectly wasted 2 hours of your life trying to absorb some information on physics, you didn’t want anything to do with him. You just wanted to go home and eat, before you pull another all-nighter to make up for the lost time. 

“Y/N!” 

You were jogging now, treating the situation like Renjun was some kind of monster coming after you. It was odd that Renjun was keeping up with you, tailing you like he was one of those salesmen trying to get you to try a sample of their product. 

You’re relieved when you see the front doors of the school ahead of you, streetlights illuminating through the small half-windows. You feel your feet pick up its pace, eager to finally get out of the building and get fresh air. 

“Y/N!” Renjun’s out of breath, “You can’t leave!” He reaches out and quickly grabs your wrist. The contact causes shivers to run up your arm and you’re quick to pull your limb back. 

Brows furrowed, you sent him daggers through your glare, “And why not?” 

Renjun fishes his phone out from his hoodie pocket and he holds it up despite you not being close enough to see anything on it, “The news. All the roads are closed. No cars on the roads. We’re stuck in here until they say everything’s clear.” 

“You’re lying.” Your stubborn ass refuses to believe Renjun. 

Renjun huffs, “Just check it for your fucking self if you don’t want to believe me.” His arms crossed and he pushes all his weight onto one leg. 

Reluctant to look stupid, you slowly pull your own phone out. You realize that you actually haven’t looked at any notifications lately, all your focus directed toward studying. When you finally look at your phone, you’re met with tens of notifications, both from the news app and a handful from your family members and friends, mainly Karina, who are asking if you’re going home soon or if you’ve gone home because of the news the city sent out about the roads. 

“And why didn’t you leave?” you say awkwardly, “When they sent the warnings out?” 

Renjun swallows his spit, “I didn’t see any of them either. I was too caught up with studying.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you mutter. The realization of the situation starts to sink in—you're trapped at school, possibly overnight, and your only company is Huang Renjun, the boy who’s decided to make himself the bane of your existence. Then, you find yourself teetering between relief that you're not alone and frustration that you're stuck with Huang Renjun of all people.

Your eyes flicker at Renjun, who’s waiting for you to say something to him. And you do, “This is all your fault!”

Renjun’s mouth falls open slightly, the space in between his eyebrows wrinkling at your accusation, “How the hell is this my fault? I didn’t tell the damn city to close the roads!” Renjun holds himself back from raising his voice, but the emptiness of the halls causes it to bounce off the walls. 

“If I hadn’t seen you studying and being the overachiever you are, I would have gone home earlier,” you argue back. The second it slips from your lips, you realize how stupid you actually sound—but you don’t say anything. Without saying another word, you push past Renjun intending to return your spot in the library. 

Renjun, however, isn't one to let things slide. He follows you back into the library, his frustration evident in the tight set of his jaw. "So, it's my fault you chose to stay? That you didn’t see the notifications?” 

You shoot him a glare over your shoulder, not slowing your pace. "I chose to stay because of you! Trying too hard being a model student." 

Despite it being pretty clear that the argument was childish and that it was going nowhere, you and Renjun were far too stubborn to back down. 

Renjun scoffs, catching up to you. "Trying too hard!? I study because I take my education seriously. Maybe if you put in half the effort I do, you wouldn't be lagging behind."

"Oh, spare me, Renjun.” Your blood boils at his condescending tone, whirling around to face him and eyes ablaze with frustration. "You're insufferable, you know that?"

This is where you can see Renjun physically falter. The stress in his brows goes slack and there’s a shift in his expression, “Insufferable? Y/N I—”

"Whatever, Renjun. I really don’t want to speak to you right now.” You roll your eyes and turn your back on him, “Now, If you’ll excuse me, I have a fucking final to study for.”

Ignoring his attempts to keep the conversation alive, you make your way back to your table, your anger simmering in your chest. Renjun watches you go, a mixture of annoyance and something else in his eyes.

The library becomes a battleground of silent tension, each of you (mostly you) seething in your own space.

You set your table back up the way it previously was. Then, you quickly send your friends and family texts explaining what had happened and why you weren’t home by now. 

You attempt to start where you left off, the words Boundary Layers practically taunting you at this point. The phrase is pissing you off and you’ve read it enough times for you to be able to recite the sentence from the textbook perfectly. 

Wave interference, you read, eyes blinking at the screen—something about paths intersecting and creating new patterns of unity… discord… 

You let your eyes do the rest of the scanning, not exactly absorbing any of the material before you move on. At this point, you feel like not studying entirely. Besides, you weren’t exactly in the right state of mind to be absorbing material. 

The clock at the front of the library reads 8:28 and you feel like taking a nap is the best idea right now. It’ll help you cool off, pull you back in the right headspace and perhaps help you with the all-nighter you’ll probably pull tonight. 

Twisting your body, you pull your jacket off of your chair, folding it to create a makeshift pillow. Sliding your things aside, you place the pillow in front of you and shimmy your butt back against the chair before leaning forward to rest your head against it. In all honesty, it wasn’t the most comfortable place to rest your head, but it will have to do for now. 

⋆⁺₊❅⋆ ⁺₊❆⋆

The shuffling of feet and the clattering of objects woke you from your nap.

You don’t move, nor do you open your eyes, all you do is listen to try and figure out what the hell is going on. Through the fabric of your jacket, you can hear that Renjun is moving things around on your table and you can’t help but feel your anger shoot up. 

You keep your cool on the outside, pretending to stir in your sleep before you peek through half-opened eyelids. 

You’d honestly find this part funny if you were watching a drama. But the thing was, you weren’t watching a drama. And it was anything but funny. 

Slowly, you raise your head to get a better look at what Renjun was up to, fully expecting him to be messing with your belongings. You guess you were doing your job correctly because Renjun seems to not have noticed you looking at him. 

The scene (you embarrassingly admit) warms a piece of your heart just by a little bit—and you hate that it does.

Renjun’s trying to keep your papers organized, stacking them horizontally and then vertically to keep them grouped in the stacks you already had them in. He had even moved your laptop to a safer spot, off to the side. 

The reason why he was doing all this was sitting just across the table from you and to Renjun’s left. 

Two cups of instant ramen.

“What are you doing?'' Your voice comes out more hoarse than you’d like, but it was probably because you’ve been napping for what felt like an hour or two. 

Renjun freezes, lips parting slightly and eyes growing two times its size when he realizes that you’re awake. Sure, he would have had to wake you up sooner or later, but you waking up on your own wasn’t part of his plan. He should’ve done all this a bit quieter. 

“I…” He starts. Renjun gulps and pulls back, wringing his hands through sweater paws. 

You wait for him to give you a coherent reply, looking at him in hopes of forcing one out of him. 

Renjun’s at a loss for words, afraid that you wouldn’t quite get him if he explained his reasoning. He leans over and wraps his hand around one of the noodle cups, gently sliding it toward you. 

You blink at the steaming cup in front of you, caught between annoyance and a peculiar sense of gratitude. "Are you trying to make this situation bearable or something?" 

“Well it wouldn’t be fair competition if only I was able to eat, would it?” Renjun shrugs. From his hoodie pocket, Renjun pulls out a plastic fork wrapped in tissue, one he had probably taken from the cafeteria, and places it next to your cup of noodles, “Eat.” 

You blink at the noodles and eye the boy suspiciously, “You didn’t do anything to it, did you?” You mistrustfully pull the fork toward you, unwrapping it before you dip it into the soup. 

“Of course not… I’m not evil.” A scoff shoots out through Renjun’s nose. 

Renjun pulls out a chair from your table, taking a seat before pulling his own cup of noodles toward him. 

Your eyes linger on Renjun for a moment longer, contemplating whether or not you should believe him. Eventually, hunger wins over skepticism, and you take a cautious bite of the noodles. They taste surprisingly good, given the circumstances. 

For a while, there's a strange quiet as both of you focus on your meal. The only sounds are the occasional slurps and the storm outside rattling the windows. It's a bizarre scene, you and Renjun sharing instant ramen in the middle of the night, trapped at school. Who would have thought? 

As you dig into your food, you start feeling a shift in your mood. The annoyance from being woken up slowly turns into a grudging acknowledgement that Renjun tried to make things a bit less crappy. It's kind of funny when you think about it. You two had a small argument earlier, and now here you are, quietly sharing a meal. It's like an unspoken agreement, maybe a truce, even if neither of you is ready to admit it out loud.

Meanwhile, Renjun seems engrossed in his noodles, occasionally glancing in your direction as if gauging your reaction to the impromptu meal. He looks like he wants to say something, but he’s not choosing to do so despite the tension that is usually present in your interactions being strangely minimal. 

Finally, you break the silence. "Where did you get the noodles?"

He looks at you, brows raising at your willingness to start a conversation. "It’s not my first time staying past dinner. I have a stash in my locker."

“Not surprised,” you mumble. You pick the cup up and bring the rim up to your lips. Tipping your head back, you take sips of the soup, feeling the warmth of the fluids fall into your stomach like a hug. 

“Oh, shut up,” Renjun groans, “Or else I’ll take the noodles back.”

“Lucky for me,” you look at him and laugh, “I’m finished.” When you plop the fork back into the cup, it makes that noise you hear when you scratch the cardboard. 

Renjun hums. "Well then, I guess you owe me one. After all, you're enjoying the hospitality of my secret noodle stash." 

You roll your eyes, trying to maintain a facade of annoyance, but there's a glint of amusement in your eyes. Of course, Renjun would take this opportunity to gain something for himself. It was such a Renjun move. It’s always been like this. "I could've survived just fine without your instant noodles."

He chuckles, taking the last slurp of his own noodles before he deems himself finished, too. "And yet, you still ate it all up like a starved puppy.” 

There’s a beat of silence before you lean forward, resting your head on your propped arm, “I guess I should say thank you, huh?” 

Renjun grins and you only notice it because it’s more evident in his eyes than it was on his lips. He was seemingly pleased with your acknowledgment, but he quickly covered it up with a nonchalant shrug, "Don't mention it.” His voice comes out soft, mirroring the setting, “If you passed out from hunger under my watch, wouldn’t want that tainting my ‘model student’ image.”

You give him a side-eye, feeling the sudden need to tease him, “Don’t lie, Huang Renjun, you secretly care about me.” The statement was mostly a joke, so you think nothing of it. You stack your empty cup onto Renjun’s and stand up to throw it out. You don’t notice the way Renjun freezes in his seat for half a second.

“And what if I did?” Renjun shrugs. He gulps and feels the sudden need to flee the situation—Why did he say that? 

You turn to face him, surprised by his response. Renjun's casual demeanour, though slightly defensive, holds a hint of genuineness. It's a side of him you're not used to seeing, and it catches you off guard. 

"What if you did what?" you ask, feigning ignorance to see if Renjun would elaborate. A part of you is afraid of what he’s going to say. 

“What if I did care about you?” Renjun’s playing with the corner of one of your papers, creating a sound that fills the silence between the two of you, “I don’t hate you as a person, you know… I get that we always compete in grades and extracurriculars but… I don’t hate you as a person.” 

The confession makes your heart skip a beat and you catch yourself beginning to chew on your bottom lip, something you do when you’re nervous. The unexpected sincerity in his words causes you to halt your own, a momentary pause in your banter. You've grown used to the constant back-and-forth, the verbal sparring that characterizes your interactions with Renjun. This, however, feels different. 

"You're messing with me, right?" you reply, half expecting him to smirk and dismiss the entire conversation as a joke.

“What do you think?” Renjun retorts. 

You take a moment to think everything through. You have a good feeling Renjun’s not joking, that he really doesn’t hate you as a person, and you can’t help but think about the other possibilities of what this meant. Then you think about how you feel towards Renjun because you guess you at least owed him that. 

“You don’t need to say anything now,” Renjun assures, “It’s… confusing. Even I'm still figuring things out… I just know that I don’t hate you.” 

"You're not as insufferable as I claim you are,” you begin cautiously, “But it pisses me off that you both distract and motivate me when it comes to school.” And this was true. Today was a good example of that, though you weren’t entirely sure where these stem from. 

Renjun raises an eyebrow, his lips curling into a half-smile. "I'll take that as a compliment.” 

You roll your eyes. "Don't get too ahead of yourself, Renjun. I’m just saying—” “—Saying that you like me more than you think you do?” Renjun interrupts, “I know, I know.”

Your eyes narrow at Renjun, “You wish.” 

A moment of understanding passes between you, and for the first time, the competitiveness in your dynamic softens. It's not yet a friendship, but it's a recognition that there's more to each other than the constant rivalry. 

Renjun laughs, which transitions into a yawn. He acknowledges your comment with a hum, “I’m going to take a nap. Wake me up in a bit so I can study?”

You playfully roll your eyes, a small smile lingering on your lips. 

“Well it wouldn’t be fair competition if I didn’t, would it?”

tags: @tytrackfebreze @lovesuhng @hoonieji @niinjo @dinonuguaegi

an: the next few parts of the series might be posted a day late (until Felix,, but we'll see!). Next up is Jisung which I feel like will be ADORABLE. ty for taking the time to read! I would love to hear your thoughts even if its something short! hope you enjoyed it!

[moonshynecybin]

what are your favorite aus you’ve ever come up with?

GOOD question i've churned out quite a few and i dont think i've ever lumped em together... uh full disclosure a lot of my fav aus were collabs or asks sent by my lovely mutuals :) they rule and are probably my faves so i'll lead with those

FCO: forced coming out au... she's maina @kingofthering and i's baby. marc and vale caught fucking in an alleyway a few months after the sepang fallout and vale comes forward to fake date marc in order to keep him from losing his ride... very much about the violence of fame and vale sort of using his influence with the media to PROTECT marc rather than harm him. a fun time with lots of fraught fake dating your ex situations. visuals here

same age au: elle @lestelledreams dropped this in my lap because shes a genius ! and two fics on ao3 were written about it which is CRAZY. basic premise is how it sounds: marc marquez is born in 1979 and they spend their early years doing a very codependent little rivalry/first love dance that gets cracked the fuck open right around the time of marc's arm injury. sweet and very y2k and very about them being stupid overly-competitve teens with REALLY different vibes and sort of. only being able to identify with each other i love it a lot

kayaking/whitewater au: niche sport forever i think about her all the time. kind of my own way to excise some personal feelings as a girl who quit doing a death sport as a teen and then kind of continued working in the same industry as said deathsport and who's brother's lack of little danger voice in his head wrt to the sport reads very marc to me. also im tortured because i simply think they would be very good at it. marc let me get you in a half-slice hard boat pspspsps... and tbh they just fit the vibe. need vale to meet an old man kayaker its the fookin same

reporter au: yayyyyy i love mess. this one is more about saw trapping these fools im like hmm what would hurt marc a LOT. oh never being able to ride only being able to interact with the sport from the other side of the proverbial glass. what would hurt vale a LOT. oh being in love with a REPORTER. lots of half chances and repressed anger and being kind of damaged so you blow your relationships the fuck up. also a sepang-esque scenario that dials in on marc's vindictive streak through it all which i enjoy. my wife is a bitch.

teen mom au: marc with a liddle baby. vale being kind of psycho. what more could you want

bridgerton au: their weird older sibling slay and repressed freak ass horny selves. thank you.

proximity au and emotional bond transference: theres a post missing from this tag and i cant find it :( anywayssss if they arent gonna feel empathy towards each other im going to MAKE them as a sort of benevolent god

amnesia au: i think about this one literally all the time. time travel too its like. the fantasy of erasing their past. for BOTH of them. reset button. but the thing is you CANT... and maybe you dont even WANT to.... also a marc saw trap bc SO much has changed for him…

fantasy au: i think marc would look hot in a doublet and the academy guys as a sort of. fail knights of the roundtable is good 2 me. fun exploration of marc and injury in many ways just add some swords and class dynamics

anastasia au: one of the OGs. don bluth animation.....

threesome au: :3333 lets get nasty.. actually theres two :3

[nisuna]

Edit: I have since posted the fic, check it out here!!

hi hello, so this isn't my official "comeback" yet as I'm currently sick in bed 😭 so this is just a little teaser and explanation of what I'm planning hehe

So I've had this idea for a long time, so long that it was the first fic I ever wanted to write down on this blog and the idea that motivated me to start writing in general, but things happened so yeah I'm only now finding the time to finally write for it

so basically, it's friends with benefits geto x f!reader, simple enough, right? Well, not quite (if you're not interested in too much detail, feel free to skip my rambling and scroll down for some excerpts and quotes 😘 they'll be below the cut)

It all happened one evening when your best friend came to pick you up from a party for the first time, being tipsy and sexually frustrated one thing led to another and you slept together and from then on it kind of became your guys' thing

Whenever you were out and didn't end up with someone, you called him and he actually came to pick you up

You've known each other for a few years but you just couldn't get yourself to call him Suguru, it's always Geto this Geto that, even tho he would really like you to just call him by his first name, but you're like no no no nonono I can't

And if that wasn't bad enough, your tipsy self always added -san, so it's Geto-san whenever he picks you up haha

You've done a lot already, anything dirty you could think of, been there done that, but no kissing bcs that's too intimate duh, like having a dick shoved so far up it's rearragning your guts isn't yeah yeah sweet denial

So this time there wasn't anything unusual about it, he picked you up like always and you were down to fuck so what's the worst that could happen?

he miiiighhtt make you call him by his first name and maybe just maybe you do finally kiss???!

I'm also down for maybe a prequel to the first time it happened?? 👀👀

But in any case, enjoy an excerpt from the beginning as well as some of my ideas and quotes I plan to include :D

He never understood why you liked going out to the most shabby and stuffed clubs. It reeked of alcohol and smoke mixed with all kinds of bodily fluids. As he was making his way through the dancing crowd of sweaty people grinding against each other, he finally found you sitting at the bar while some guy was leaning in your direction way too close for comfort.

He had his usual fit, hair half up with a black over sized sweater and loose black joggers. Making him look so huge that if there were any guys bothering you, they would leave you alone as soon as they saw him.

"Yo~ y/n", he touched your exposed shoulder and gave you his signature eye smile, before staring down the guy next to you that was trying to get in your pants or in this context in ypur skimpy little dress. The guys' annoyed look turned into a worried one after seeing who he was up against.

"Aahhh Geto-saannn you're here early" you mused, leaning against his hard chest. That damn honorific, he cursed but still managed to squeeze out a smile.

"Haha "-san", so you aren't her boyfriend then." the stranger snarled but soon gave up as Suguru raised an eyebrow at him and snapped a "watch it". "Alright, alright, I give up", he put his hands up in defeat. "Maybe next time, sweetcheeks."

As soon as the guy left Suguru took both of your hands in his and knelt down in front of you. "Y/n we've talked about this, if you don't want to call me Suguru at least drop the honorific. We've known each other for years now don't you think it's about time. Also, don't you think it's weird when you call the guy you fuck by his last name, hm?" He turned his head looking at you expectedly.

"But Geto-saaaan-"

"Ah ah, what did I just tell you"

"Okay okay, Geto" you huffed, "You know I'm not comfortable with that", you whined, squeezing his hands.

"I just want to hear you say it at least once. Say it and I'll fuck you real good tonight.", he smirked.

You considered it, after a hard week you really needed a good fuck. "Sugu-", is all you could manage before snapping your head away, "Nope can't do it."

He let his head drop with a loud sigh. "It's alright. It looks like I was just pushing my luck. C'mon, let's get you out of here." And with that, he rose back to his full height, grabbed your hand and pulled you from the bar stool. While making your way through the crowd and to his car, your thoughts kept wandering.

Suguru... that's such a pretty name.

----------

"What's up with you today? If you keep squeezing me that hard you might actually snap my dick off.", he chuckled. He's way to cocky. You have to do something about that.

"Have I ever told you how annoying you can be. If you don't stop talking, I think I might have to shut that mouth of yours up myself.", you whispered putting your hands on his cheeks and pulling his face close so that it was right in front of yours.

--------

"Is it okay? Does it hurt?"

"No, it feels really good. I can feel you all the way up here", you smiled, leaning back and tracing your fingers from your pubic bone to just over your belly button.

"Fuck, you can't just say those things out of the blue" he mumbled sitting up, finally starting to pound into you from below.

"Wow that did it, huh?" you chuckled arching your back and clawing at his shoulders. "How naive, men are so simple." you kept that thought to yourself tho.

----

"Wait", you mumbled against his lips. "Don't pull out. Keep fucking me. Hurry up." How could he say no to you, even if he felt like he was about to die from overstimulation, he couldn't possibly deny you.

-----

"Fuck, I'm hard again"

"Then keep going."

-----

Look forward to the whole thing as soon as I feel better🙈🙈🙈 and feel free to let me know what you think!❤️

[cybertron-smash-or-pass]

I am soooo hashtag tuned the eff into this blog the since the last three days gangggg this is what I imagine sports fans feel like checking in on the game for their favorite ball player babes <33333

But for realsies this is such a fun and awesome blog, just the amount of people able to come together and be so deranged and goofy about this smash or pass type of stuff is so great :333 I LOOOOVE WEIRD TRANSFORMERS CHARACTERSSSSS YIPPEEEE🎉🎉🎉🎉🎊🎊🎊🎉💖💖🫶🫶🫶💖💗💗🫶🫶💕💕

Give it up for strange weird tf characters‼️‼️‼️✨🎉💖🎉💖🎉‼️‼️‼️

Honestly I'm honored that anyone's paying attention to my silly little posts, let alone, like, invested in when the polls drop. It's god to see o many people that wanna kiss robot and the skrunkly ass humans around them.

TFA human character design appeals to me so much just because they make the characters look like real actual people with physical variation and not carbon copies of the same 12 acceptably attractive templates. It's also why I'll die on the hill that Nanosec is hot.

If you got a big nose or a crooked smile or laugh lines or any other features you're supposed to think are some kind of substandard deviation from the norm, you're probably hot as fuck and the basic taste rich white ppl get richer by convincing you that you aren't. Never forget that shit is a lie they blow millions on maintaining.

We got another one, fellas

Queued, I went with g1 bc you didn't specify, and also because I think that version is unbelievably pretty.

[adamsrcnan]

okay i'll bite, here's my jeremy knox speculations !!!

it's nothing super outrageous in my opinion, as fun and interesting as that would be, but alas lets dig in.

with regards to the police, his step grandfather is a congressman which means his step father probably has political ties too. this could mean they have ties to the police force perhaps involved in funding or something?? hence why jeremy would be recognised by them bc he gets forced to go to these occasions to paint a perfect family picture and maybe they're full of cops?? and maybe that's just not something he wants to be associated with lmao. cannot blame him now can we?

rhemann tells jean he can ask jeremy to leave the vicinity if he wants to press charges and call the cops i don't think this is because jeremy could get in trouble or anything bc i don't think rhemann would risk that. i think it's just because him being there might have sway or might lead to more gossip among the force that jean would wanna avoid. and if rhemann knows about whatever this weird avoiding police thing is i'm not sure it would be something so horrible??

in terms of his past. personally i don't agree jeremy was aggressive as a teen. i read him talking about his high school team as more of a "they played that way. i didn't vibe with it. i wanted to make sure my college team wasn't the same" i mean it's basically what he says he doesn't imply anything else but again the guy is closed off as HECK so god knows. but i don't think jeremy has an aggressive tendency. i feel like, given how the foxes have their entire lives pried into, if jeremy had such a reputation in the past (being in a class 1 team and captain of it no less) it would be known. and jean would know bc of kevin's obsession. like that would be a huge scandal.

i don't think he's done anything crazy like murder or manslaughter or has any assault charge. although that screenshot i posted a couple days ago is very Very sus, i think it might stem from how his family makes him feel about himself. because again i don't think he'd be able to keep any of that hidden.

UNLESS it's been all swept under the rug thanks to the political ties from the step family, and maybe that's why they dislike him so much. but again i think it's all a bit far fetched bc i don't think jeremy would be able to be so well adjusted after something like that, even after attending therapy.

which brings me to my next point, which is where he mentioned his mother finding the therapist for him and his family as he says "us" when talking about it which means they all see this therapist and jean mentions jeremy does not seem bothered to be exposed for having to go to therapy. i think if he was in therapy bc he did something really terrible he wouldn't want it known. especially if it's meant to be swept under the rug. i think this is in relation to the mysterious brother and the possibility of losing them to suicide. as he becomes very serious when jean says he promised he wouldn't kill himself saying it's nothing to joke about. also his concern for jean's wellbeing after ravens start dropping like flies maybe bc he knows how the grief feels.

thought that could also be a far fetched speculation because jeremy says the fall banquet broke their family in half. it's obvious his step family and his older brother and younger sister are not on his side, his mother sounds questionable too. so maybe that just leaves his other brother and his father and again maybe it's just a case of them being supportive of jeremy's sexuality.

there's also a brief mention of jeremy's dad being stationed in europe - some kind of military man?? since his mother re-married there's definitely something there too. maybe jeremy still keeps in touch with his father and it's not appreciated by the rest of the family? idk this one's a bit of a stretch but i feel like it might crop up again. what with jeremy not wanting to be addressed as "knox" as well - is that his father's name or his step father's name??? why does he not like it??

moving on to the scandal at the fall banquet i think this has to do with jeremy getting outed for being gay. lucas before cutting himself off at the beach says "now that you're.." implying they didn't know before so maybe jeremy was keeping it under wraps but got involved with someone from another team (???) at the banquet and got caught. his step grandfather and step father, and brother are probably very conservative and of course did not agree with jeremy's "lifestyle" and i think this had consequences on the whole family as it probably got out and "tarnished" their image. jeremy was probably asked to give up exy so as not to get involved with all "that" and he obviously refused. punishment for that probably meant his sister not caring for his games anymore as he wouldn't compromise for her, him getting put on a strict allowance and his mother's bookkeeper having to keep up with his expenses bc he's only given a certain amount of money. maybe a way for them to take back control over his life?? it also could explain why he has to stay at home during the school year so they can keep an eye on him perhaps??? also him getting dismissed from the dinner table bc of his hair as well idk sounds like his family are probs homophobic. also kind of a stretch but mayyyybeee the reason jeremy feels so bad is because he got the person he was involved with into trouble so he feels like a terrible person. but again there's really no alluding to that or implication i'm basically just taking a wild guess. but i feel like it would make some sort of sense

TLDR; i think jeremy's big "scandal" was that he's gay and his step family are just not accepting so they make his life difficult on purpose and he struggles to stand up to them about it

[soleminisanction]

U know i do kinda find it weird how some make steph have camaraderie w the ppl that tim knows

Like outside of the generaal batfam sphere(excluding helena bc she is a outlier and maybe jason but even then they get paired up in fandom spaces)

She just not?? Amicable or a team player tbh

Like in yj19 all the sudden the c4(excluding tim) are cool w steph??? Like what? When did that happen???

(or even that arc that they went to evil alt earth where they are all evil but steph isnt??? Writer did u not even realize what you have said about the other steph???)

Idk i just think of all bat character, she is to be stricly gotham base

I give Brian Michael Bendis (the writer on YJ19) a pass because I was following him on Twitter from the point YJ19 and the Wonder Comics imprint was announced, all the way through the end of that series.

From the second the announcement was made, his social media was completely inundated with people demanding that Stephanie be included in YJ19, entirely because she'd last been seen leaving Gotham with Tim. He also got flooded with asks about whether Cissie would make an appearance, or Aqualad (because YJ animated was still at the peak of its popularity and there was a whole contingent of fans who had zero clue that Kaldur was created for that show and that Jackson Hyde looks like but isn't exactly him), but with Steph? He and his co-creators got full on harassed, and it only got worse because she happened to turn up in a flashback in Issue 4. There were Internet journalists who derailed interviews he was giving to hype up his new Black and gay heroines just to demand more Stephanie, it was bad.

And then there was this whole mess that's going to be hard to explain succinctly. But it boils down to: given the timing of when the series was announced, they almost certainly had issues #1-#3 fully drawn and either at or on its way to the printer, issues #4-6 at least partially drawn and colored, issues #7-9 completely scripted and possibly with pencil drafts under way, and issues #10-12 drafted, with an outline already prepared for the second year if they thought they were going to go beyond 12.

But then something happened after the announcement -- and it had to have been after the announcement, otherwise they could've pushed back their release dates -- that led them to rewrite the entire second half of the year, everything from the end of #5 on. You can tell because the covers, which get made ahead of the rest of the issue, start going really wonky from #6 on and don't match up with the contents of the story, plus there's disconnect in the early solicitations. Also they skipped a month between #6 and #7 while making #7 basically a filler issue with guest artists who happen to have very simple, quick-draw cartoony styles that are easier to produce in a hurry.

That kind of turn-around on a publishing project is nuts, it's not fun to deal with. I would be surprised if Bendis had time to give his artists more than a "shitty rough draft" to work off of. But like I said he was still getting this constant barrage of demands for Steph so, as long as he was doing rewrites anyway, he took the chance to drop her in, or maybe the editor insisted he do so to try to bring in more readers. Either way, he just didn't have the time to make it good or put any thought into it.

I honestly feel so bad for their whole creative team. That's such a terrible situation to be in, and the first five issues make me feel like they were really putting their hearts into it. It's so sad it got derailed so badly.

[thespoonisvictory]

to be so honest I haven't even watched the most recent fhjy ep yet but I think it's hard to pick one singular reason why the rat grinders aspect felt so flat for people. On the whole, I thought the season was great and really loved it (compared to neverafter which I had issues with throughout), but this one aspect of the plot just kind of got crushed underfoot, which, tbh, it's dnd that's what happens sometimes brennan is still more talented than I could ever dream of being. anyway here are some reasons why we didn't get more rat grinders:

the downtime mechanics were cool, but highly rewarded deprioritizing social interaction to make sure you passed your classes.

the bad kids are so established as pcs that they already have a well-developed host of relationships, meaning they're less likely to reach out to new people (see how the mazey side-plot also fell flat for me). on top of that, this is more speculation, but the Intrepid Heroes play the bad kid's social cards closer to their chest and metagame more, probably bc they're the oldest pcs and the ones they're most attached to.

brennan, probably because he was juggling a ton of stuff, hardly initiated any rg subplot stuff. this made things like the oisin crush plot work, well, not at all, because what was the plot? all of his advances needed high perception checks to even notice, nothing was explicit, and it didn't go anywhere! they never even had a solo conversation! same thing with ivy and fabian, she just completely dropped off

the bad kids are also canonically paranoid PCs, who were given no carrot nor stick to interact with a group of people who they knew were associated with an enemy, especially when the downtime mechanics pushed them to prioritize other things

all of these issues led to an end of season lore dump where we learned pretty basic info about the rgs that we probably should have found less than halfway into the season. throughout the season, there were just a bunch of dropped balls from both brennan and the pcs that could have helped pick things up, had they been caught. it was both an oversaturation of plot threads and the insanely hostile (for comedy! because rude makes good comedy!) way the bad kids were played in general.

I don't think the rg inherently had to be redeemed. but putting aside that it thematically feels weird to not even mention it in a season about corruption, redemption, and rage, it's also not... really about that. take oisin for example: imagine a world where we get those interactions, maybe a date or even just hanging out more. there's an avenue where he legitimately catches feelings and can be swayed, or one where he plays a much more actively manipulative role. Either way, we learn way more about him, and either way, him getting killed means so much more.

if the rgs were not meant to be a prominent part of the season, it's surprising that brennan dropped so many details that suggested a sympathetic nuance! this was not a penelope everpetal level of detail, here. arguably, it was way more attention that ragh got pre-redemption. it just feels strange.

ultimately, fhjy just had too much to juggle, kind of a reoccurring theme with d20 at this point. there's so much I love and enjoy in the season (once again as compared to trw or neverafter), and I think it succeeds at being a comedy first dnd show! it is hilarious! but the number of plot points that felt like they were either blindly dropped or hastily resolved makes me really hope there's a senior year in the works to try to clean some of this up, and also that d20 will consider longer or simpler seasons.

[theshiftingwitch]

this is going to sound weird but bear w me. so when i was 14 i figured i could manifest. my life was great i had a great future in front of me. but i was CURIOUS to know what would happen if i “messed up” and so i manifested something really bad to happen. i’m an adult now and i can recognize that i basically gave myself trauma :) so this is technically my second time learning about conscious manifestation but now i have this fear, and i self sabotage when manifesting some important things i guess bcs i’m subconsciously scared? but i can manifest instantly dumb things, also, i love your advice and your perspective idk if you do like coaching? thank you! have a nice day!

You should not be afraid, but I understand why you would be. You discovered the law at a very young age and with that kind of power you had to learn very early on what you're capable of, and that scared you.

The thing is, now that you know about conscious manifestation and you know that you are the creator of your own reality, you can shape this reality into anything you want it to be. You can manifest wild things, you can undo the thing you manifested when you were 14, you can create a brand new reality for yourself, the sky is the limit.

The problem starts arising when you start putting labels on the things you're manifesting, like saying small dumb things are easy to manifest and big things are hard to manifest. Nothing is easy or hard to manifest, everything is equal in the eyes of the law. The only difference comes from the restrictions we put on ourselves. So just drop those restrictions, drop those beliefs, and decide that everything is easy to manifest and everything is equal and you have no hard time at all with the law. Decide that you can manifest anything you want and stick with that decision and you will see you 3D change around you.

I hope that helps clear things up, and thank you so much for reading my blog. I consider this to be my coaching, as I answer as many questions as I possibly can for free because I believe that everyone has the right to access information. I don't charge for coaching but if anyone's feeling generous I do have a Ko-fi shop in which you can donate if you feel like it. But thanks again for your support and I hope that I can continue to clear things up for anyone who needs a little bit of guidance.

Happy manifesting ❤️

[nevermore117]

🎤 can you share your thoughts on ysme's glamor reveal

yes absolutely, putting it under a readmore

ok so. Still processing everything, bc that was a lot of information at once. I don't think I have anything groundbreaking to say, it's just a deeply fascinating development.

My impression was that her appearance after the chimera crunched her is what she "really" looks like currently and her "normal" appearance is a glamor that she puts up. To me this is heavily implied both during the reveal and at the end of Ch1 where she has a similar appearance and explicitly muses that she doesn't have the energy to put up a glamor.

So let's talk first about 🏳️‍⚧️

There's the obvious (to me) "hey! that's a transgender person!" part of the reveal, this very feminine person having a flat-chested traditionally masc body underneath a glamor. It's not just a one-off thing. This is the second time that she's been really explicitly depicted that way without her being in some kind of heavily stylization, and the first time it's really had a lot of attention drawn to it.

She appeared slightly differently in her original Weird Magic Form, back when she'd just died and before Loic pledged to her, but not that different. Longer hair, but the same silhouette otherwise.

It's not just these two scenes, either, because she's been depicted as being flat-chested multiple times, with the last image below being the most clear and least stylized (the end of Ch1).

We don't know if this is how she looked under her glamor before getting stabbed, but I think that seeing her body before becoming Exalted (and the fact that she's been depicted this way in art outside of the game) feels like a pretty solid basis for me to say this is just what she looks like.

pog

Anyways.

"Of course I had noticed it that morning after her exalted revelry. But seeing her again like this, the resemblance strikes me anew." Loic doesn't specify who the resemblance is to, but we can make a pretty good guess.

What the fuck is up with that?

Even her hair is short here, shorter than the end of Ch1 when her glamor dropped. Her features seem stronger too, though it's hard for me to say if that's just from the lighting and higher detail vs usual sprites. Is she the Builder in some way? Is she related to the Builder, perhaps his twin? Is this somehow just something that happens to people who become Exalted? Who gave Pallisia the right to do this to me?

I don't have enough information to answer these questions, but the thing I'm compelled by is how this kind of blending of the masculine and feminine is a recurring theme in alchemy as a symbol of divinity/perfection.

The Rebis is an allegorical entity representing basically the whole thing that alchemy is working towards - the Great Work, the union of opposites and the reconciliation of matter and spirit, ascending towards divinity by shedding imperfection and impurity. It's essentially the perfect being, represented by an androgynous body with a male and female head.

It's the same theme that Marika and Radagon touch on in Elden Ring, the concept of a masculine and feminine part of a perfect godly whole.

I don't think this is necessarily why it was decided for Ysme to be trans/have a flat-chested body, but it's just something deeply compelling to me personally in combination with the themes of the game so far.

[dancefail]

give me your headcanons brother i want to hear u cook. if u want a prompt uhhhh… gimme dreamtale headcanons.

ooooh omg!!! ok soooo i kind of have a lot of weird hcs surrounding their powers… idrk that much about dreamtale canon and most of them come frm me trying 2 make treatise have a somewhat consistent magic system/plot motive if that makes sense?

anyway it might get long sooo going under the cut:

dream is always at 100% of his power whereas nightmare is always around… less than half. this is because their capacity 4 magic is different based on the amt of apples they consumed! nightmare can use a lot more magic because he can contain more magic (which makes him a lot more powerful in terms of brute force) but he kind of lacks the ability to control how much he uses because its such a large quantity of power and one that he didnt have the ability to properly ‘grow into’ over time... also, because he’s constantly at less than half of his full ‘energy’, he’s perpetually exhausted so he doesnt exactly… train lol. hes basically just hitting the stars w a strategically minded rock until they leave him alone

on the flip side of that dream has a lot less capacity for magic (around 0.1% of nightmare’s theoretical ‘maximum’) but has learned how to conserve it AND replenish his reserves quickly (i.e. skimming off the top of an AU’s emotional state) so he doesnt instantly burn himself out. he does feel pretty good all of the time due to being topped out on magic constantly.. though i feel like his ability 2 sense negative emotions is stunted bcs hes actively trying 2 stay away frm them. i think negative emotions hurt dream more than positive ones hurt nm bcs again the quantities of magic they have is different… its like having 1 drop of coloured water in the sea vs in an eyedropper

sooo anyway!!! given this lore the main reason for their conflict (in my mind/treatise) is that dream has to guess how positive the multiverse is whereas nightmare essentially knows (he can gauge it based on how exhausted/energised he is) and therefore can just assume it’s too far in the negative if the pool he samples from is too biased, and nightmare just doesn’t want to be constantly exhausted from fighting. so he tries to make more aus negative. which leads to more fighting. which leads to more exhaustion. which… etc etc.

basically i feel like the core of their conflict wld be really bad communication issues that have had around 500 years to fester >>; and because theyre so powerful they end up dragging a lot of the multiverse along in their conflict. its less of a war and more of a dispute to them almost?? bcs 500 years in the grand scheme of things is not a very long time

[daemonhxckergrrl]

Ahrah: @dragongirlcock encouraged us to tell you that we've recently made the permanent jump from Windows to Linux. Your post on the topic on top of the usual Microsoft bullshit was one of the catalysts to just do it now. We did play around with several different distros in 2013 in a dual boot system, so we already had a feel for a few different ones and what we prefer in a DE and whatnot. They were all Debian based, but then we happened to stumble across Garuda KDE Dr460nized, and aside from that we really like KDE Plasma, couldn't possibly pass up on a distro with that name XD Plus it has been nice having most gaming things working out of the box and generally saved us some floundering in figuring out what all we needed, bc things have come a long way since 2013.

We've been having bit of a time trying to learn the terminal and all, and have been running into miscellaneous issues, but it has been comforting to have more expirienced people we know look at them and go, "that problem is Weird wtf???"

Sometimes we'll go looking for info and the internet is like, "Ubuntu = Linux, especially if you're a newbie, and here's how to do things without having to touch the big scary terminal :) " and anything that might be helpful it feels like there's the expectation that you know everything already if you're on Arch. *angry dragon noises*

We feel like we've somehow happened to slip through the cracks of what people "typically" do or are encouraged to do when it comes to transitioning to Linux, why is this? Bc I feel that us having more of an interest in learning more shouldn't be that odd, it seems stranger to me that there seems to be a Windows vs Mac parallel with Debian vs Arch in terms of the general information available and expectations??? Also any recommentions on ways to just stumble upon things would be helpful. Bc sure we can got to the AUR, but you have to kind of already know what you're looking for.

hell yeah !!! welcome to The Community !! (programmer socks optional d: )

oooooohhh garuda !! recognised the name and is bc it's built atop arch !!

yeag, the ubuntu-as-default assumptions (which, annoyingly, even affects debian users sometimes) are frustrating. also the "commands scawy uwu" attitude (which also seems to include "just paste this magic command in the terminal dw it's totally fine :))))" from time to time) is frustrating as well.

i don't expect every single person to manually install arch, or like gentoo or smth, spend a week configuring it, and fuckign write an emacs port to run it as a full wayland compositor, but treating computers as Magical Boxes and users as Inherently Inept really gets my goat.

idk what good communities look like anymore bc i'm not part of any and solve shit myself or by asking friends/partners, but for arch, the official wiki tends to have most things well-explained. it's not a complete solution but it should help 🩷

in conjunction w/ the arch wiki, we use stackoverflow, man pages (documentation that doesn't require a website 7 months pregnant w/ javascript octuplets ? gooodddsss it feels good), package manager search, chaotic-aur (has most aur packages pre-compiled as an additional repo, so pacman can search and install them), tldr which is simplified man pages (very handy for example commands !!)

linux systems really are a thousand rats in a trench coat, so understanding what rats ya got helps but can take time. the best way round that is have a system you can break.

for like getting from ubuntu-coded to arch-coded, we're planning some GUIDEs that may be handy. wanna cover basic terminal and shell stuff, standard unix commands, what some of the bigger trenchcoat rats are and why.

until then, if there's any specific questions feel free to drop a message here or in DMs or wherever 🩷

[vacantgodling]

16, 18, 19 for the pride asks!

thank you <3<3

16. Did you ever change an oc's identity when they were already established? Why?

oh hundreds of times. many of my ocs stemmed from ocs and ideas i had as a kid (8+ years old) and because i was young, and bc i didn't know shit, many of my ocs were very cookie cutter. 100% not my fault cuz i was a kid, but now that i'm older i have been updating, editing, and changing my ocs to fit my worldview, to be more intruging, and to not be basic white fantasy character 2.0.

18. Do you prefer to give your ocs specific labels, or keep it unspecified? Why? If applicable, do you change their labels depending on circumstance?

because i (personally) have been getting more and more annoyed with the limited range of labels, and how i consistently have to have caveats for my own labels (which i'm thinking of dropping altogether lowkey, like at this point if anyone really needs to know they're getting queer or they're getting the dissertation i'm tired of trying to be in a box fr) i have been leaning more into keeping my ocs labels unspecified.

there are definitely many characters i have (especially ones in modern wips) that have more concrete labels (ie: darren or toph being bisexual, jenna being a aroace bi lesbian, etc). but when i start getting into the weeds of many of my pure fantasy wips like paramour or tcol, it becomes annoying to try and hold onto our world's notions of gender and sexuality bc simply put their worlds don't operate like that. like sure, amon is gay or masc attracted, but like, troibemme is a fully recognized third gender category, so like. it makes explaining things like that weird. in my mind amon is simply masc attracted, that's the best way to describe it. but like, that's not really a label, ya feel?

i don't really change their labels depending on circumstance, i just kind of know what they like and their general sex/intimacy preferences cuz that's more useful than having a label that means nothing.

19. Do you have preferences about depicting homo/transphobia in your stories? What, and why? Does it vary by story

i depict it if it makes sense for the plot. tcol has a homophobia storyline (around clear) because of how he was raised he faced it, and i have an in world explanation as to why. other characters like di (lukewarm rejection) or jake (purple haze) have it in their storylines because they're ways for me to explore my own struggles with things, but also because i made there a reason in their stories. even paramour has some because there's a small radical group of traditionalists who are specifically made so i can dunk on conservatives.

i have no issue depicting it but i don't put it in every story for the sake of having it though. and whenever i do depict it, i depict people triumphing over it because that's what's good for my brain space lol

[baphometsss]

I'm kind of in my Mythal feels rn... Once again I'm still pondering the orb what feelings were like for spirits before they took spiritual forms, and how that might have translated once they took bodies. But also, what happened to them when they began dying? Did they just return to their original spirit forms? Is that why Solas believes the elves will be better off (once they are, presumably, 'reborn' as immortals)? When they were in uthenera, they roamed the world as spirits once more. Do they return to that, permanently, ready to take another physical form one day? I'm not sure if we can use Mythal's death as an example here since she was killed by the Wolf's Fang and that thing was designed to be fucky. There's so much stuff that hasn't been answered and I doubt it ever will be now. But I guess I can theorise.

One reason why Mythal is kind of tragic to me is that she's so desperate to be remembered. I always found that really weird, even though it's assumed that the audience would understand that desire because it's seen as a very human/mortal one. It's assumed that we, the player, want to leave some kind of legacy, a mark that we were here, and that we existed. I personally have never felt that desire. I always had this personal... motto, if you like, that I'm just one drop in the ocean. I'll be dead and gone in the blink of an eye and I'm fine with that. I couldn't give a shit about my legacy. I don't even like being perceived while I'm alive. This seems to be kind of unusual though as most people want to be remembered when they're gone.

The problem is that this seems to be the polar opposite to spirits. They're beings who are dependent on their essence being mirrored in others; they depend on it to continue to exist. So is Mythal desperate to be remembered because if no one remembers her, she would cease to exist? It's not a comprehensive motive bc manifested spirits =/= spirits, but it's one of the more basic reasons why she would want to be remembered, at least instinctively. Of course, that ignores all the other reasons, which are mostly attributed to hubris. Mythal is a very arrogant creature. She was worshipped as a queen and then a goddess for ages, and even though the fragment living in Flemeth and later Morrigan is more patient, she's only been tempered into this by years of living amongst mortals. The fragment in the Crossroads is who she was by the time she was killed, and that version of her is much harsher and more arrogant. The need to be remembered as Mythal, All-Mother, Queen of the Evanuris, would've been far more potent at that stage--especially as she'd just been murdered by her family, and that would, among other things, have bruised her ego.

There's this element of legacy that runs through these games. Solas can't live with the fact that his main legacy was the downfall of his entire people because of his own grief and desire for revenge. It quite literally almost drives him mad. Mythal's legacy seems to have been her love for her people, even though she was far from the truly benevolent figure her legend paints her as. I think I said this before but along with her spirit nature seemingly retconned to Benevolence from Justice, I think much of her protection of those she considered 'worthy' stems from that same hubris. To attack those she views as 'worthy' is to question her judgement, and that is an unthinkable affront to her, something worthy of her Retribution. One of the reasons she fell out with Solas is because he refused to stand by her when she decided to join the Evanuris. How dare her loyal dog not do as he was told?

In essence, her and Solas are very much of the same ilk; I spoke about the siphonophore allegory once and I think it still tracks. Certain spirits seem to be cut from the same cloth, and have similar 'blueprints' in their natures, kind of like a siphonophore that duplicates itself in slightly different ways instead of growing bigger, or even more simply like a family sharing genes. The similarity of Mythal and Solas's spirit forms speaks to this. The fact that Lucanis and Bellara refer to Mythal as Solas's family is more proof of this. Solas, Wisdom who becomes Pride when his wisdom is ignored, and Mythal, Benevolence/Justice who becomes Retribution when her judgement is questioned. Both of them require an element of ego.

Which beings me back to my point of legacy. I think people who are more arrogant or egocentric have more of a need to be memorialised when they're gone. In order to want to be remembered, you need to think there's something worth remembering, something to be proud of. The more inflated that self-image becomes, the more that need for legacy grows.