#and that actually does piss me off because no one ever calls em on it

[teenagefeeling]

"social skills are something you can work on learning and it will help with social anxiety!" this is true, but are you saying it because you want to help or are you saying it to shame people? because not everyone is gonna always have amazing social skills, even people who don't normally struggle have bad days. holding people to such a high standard and expecting everyone to be able to be at 100% all the time not only isn't fair, but imo isn't a healthy mindset because you're also putting that pressure on yourself.

yes, social skills can be learned. but for a lot of us, they're really hard to learn and even harder to put into practice. sometimes when someone has poor social skills it's not just because they don't know any better, there are other factors at play making things more difficult. i think we should all learn to be a little more patient with each other and get comfortable with the idea that different people might have different methods of communication, and sometimes you're gonna have to be the one who adjusts for someone else (whether that involves learning stronger social skills or being patient with someone who isn't there yet)

communication is hard to get right, and it's impossible for anyone to get it right all the time. it's okay if you stutter while speaking or can't ask for ketchup at a restaurant or whatever. it's okay. you will get there with practice. not being able to do it overnight is okay. it's a long process to get comfortable with these things. not everyone is always going to be patient with you, but that's their problem, not yours. be proud of yourself for the small victories and don't let demanding assholes online convince you that you aren't good enough as you are.

[cathnospam]

Continuing from This Drabble about you and your BF Katsuki answering sex questions about each other<3

Black Female Reader x Katsuki Bakugo , mentions of panty stealer bakugo, slight smut???

“Okay uh, how do you rate your partners kisses 1-10.”

“9”

“9?! Muthafucka I taught you how to kiss—-“

“You always push back first like you can’t handle it, it pisses me off.”

“I like breathing.”

“So.”

Rolling your eyes, “I was ganna say 12/10, but since you’re being a bitch—“

“So, 12/10 got it. Next.”

“Does your partner have any dirty secrets?…oooh.—-”

“M’going to bed.” Bakugo immediately gets up to take off his tank top seeing as he was going to sleep in your dorm tonight, but as the shirt clung to his semi flexing biceps you grab him, “No, y/n.”

“Oh c’mon boy are the secrets THAT bad?! I’ll tell you mine at least—-fuck.” He considers for a moment. Curiosity weighing heavier than his will to sleep at the moment, “You ass.”

“What did you call me—“

“I think…” You place two fingers on his soft lips, “One secret is that……….one time, when you were out on work study you left your black tank top in my room….and….i missed you….and i was ovulating so i….put on your tank top and ….played…with myself.”

The air was thick, it’s as if Bakugo took it as he grew closer to you while speaking, there wasn’t much to make him speechless but dammit that’s a new one.

Fuck. That’s actually more sexier than he wants to admit right now. He crossed his legs, hoping a tent won’t form in his grey sweats and noticed your eyes wandering at every part of your room but his eyes.

“I…moaned your name too.”

“You…you damn….pervert fuck—-“ His voice almost broke into a groan, looking away also embarrassed you knew he didn’t mean it in a malicious way from how he looked back at you, Adam’s Apple bobbing up and down, “Stop acting fucking weird. You did it. Who cares. As long as it was MY name you moaned.”

“Of course dumbass. I only want you…”

Bakugo felt his ears burning, already annoyed he was flustered once he groaned, “I took your panties once.”

“What?”

“Why the hell would you wear that lacy frilly shit during class in that short ass skirt? It’s like you want those idiots to see you.”

“That CANNOT be the reason—“

“IT IS. If you’re ganna wear ‘em wear them IN OUR dorms you dumbass.”

“…well.”

“Well what.” He pouts.”

“Well where the fuck are they I like wearing them after I get waxed.”

Bakugo hesitates, not wanting to actually answer mainly because he doesn’t just have ONE pair of panties. But a few. “I’ll show you later.”

“Tch.” You mock his sounds, “Ever use ‘em to masturbate?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

You giggle, you can only imagine what his perverted ass has done with them. And the last time you seen them was in your hamper so you assumed they got lost somewhere in the laundry. Honestly it’s kinda….interesting he’s telling you this.

“Does your partner have any no’s during?”

“I’m not calling you a bitch.”

“Aw.” You sarcastically sigh, “Why.”

“Why the hell would I call you out your name—“

“You called me your slut yesterday.”

“…Slip of the tongue.” He crosses his arms like a child, making you giggle. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize it was hot.” You say adjusting yourself closer to him, you could actually feel the heat from his body rise as you kept speaking, “It’s fine. Degrading isn’t something I’d need from you anyway.”

“I don’t get that kink, who the hell likes to be disrespected by someone they…are y’know with.”

You shrug, you understand why certain people have kinks, but it’s hard to put in words for someone like Katsuki. He’s a very simple man when it comes to relationships. Almost traditional and old fashion which is what charmed you the most about him. He never even called you a bitch before in any sense nor has he ever told you anything that would genuinely hurt your feelings, “Some people are just into that.” You concluded, your boyfriend looks at you with an unresolved look, but accepts it anyway. Weirdos.

“I wouldn’t hit you either. Like in the face or anything. Only on the ass”

“Good because my face is too pretty for that.” Katsuki smirks at you, you’re absolutely right you’re too pretty for him to hit.

“Nobody else.”

“Hm?”

“…Nobody else is allowed to join us.”

Squinting for a moment his statement clicks , “OH! No threesomes and stuff. Oh yeah of course not. If I see you with any other girl I’ll kill you and her.”

Katsuki swallowed his laughter, masking it with a clearing of his throat, your eyes not tearing from his making sure he knew you were serious. You don’t scare him typically, but he knew the moments when you genuinely had an aura about you that screamed “Fucking try to play with me.” And this was one of those moments. “You look at me like I didn’t just fucking say —“

“I know.” Your voice cracked a little trying to cover up the jealous tone you were about to spew out. Just the thought of Katsuki touching another girl had you upset.

Little did you know it was the same for him with you.

“Anything else?”

“I won’t do race or age play.”

“What the hell…?—-“

“Well I am black so obviously no and then you have age play which is just a cute way of saying you like children—-“

“WHAT?”

You pause to cover up his loud mouth with your small hands, “SSSHH! Before we get in trouble again!…anyway moving on!”

Not wanting to argue, he takes your laptop and smacks your hand away, “What is something you DONT like that your partner does during sex.”

“Take my laptop away from me.”

He strikes you and look, he doesn’t say anything verbally but he says “quit fucking around” with his eyes, admitting defeat that he won’t give you back your laptop you sit back and think for a moment.

“Eh…Oh! I don’t like that you won’t let me ride you.”

Damn it.

He had a feeling you’d say that too. Bakugo scratches the back of his neck roughly while letting out a groan. Throwing his head back a little he side eyes you, “Why do you wanna be on top so bad. I’m the man I should—“

“It’s not even about dominating you or anything you can still fuck me from below, ‘Suki. You’ll still have all the power.”

Bakugo has seen porn videos where the guy fucks up into the girl. Even some where the man is straight up holding the girl up and pumps her full. It’s so erotic he couldn’t even finish the video, but even though he enjoys vanilla sex, he is quite certain riding him isn’t too far off from what he likes.

Besides he loves having your tits bounce in his face and feeling your nipples practically bounce into his mouth makes up of great reason.

“…Fine. But when I’M ready.”

“Yaaaayy mkay….now what is something YOU don’t like about me.”

“You’re ganna be pissed.”

Your smiles immediately transforms into a straighten line, “Uh oh.”

“I don’t …like when you cum too fast.”

It was a bit embarrassing yet confusing to hear. Clearly that means he’s doing a good job so why —

“Because I want to keep fucking you.” Bakugo speaks up as if he read your inner thoughts, all you could do was blink a few times at him, and he continued more, “Even though I don’t cum until after you do which isn’t that long, sometimes I wanna keep going. I’ve timed it, the moment I start fucking you sex only last about 6-8 minutes.”

“That’s average. Some people are 2-3 minutes.” You spoke with an unimpressed and deadpanned voice mostly because this sounded ludicrous to you and Bakugo seen it in your expression causing him to sigh in annoyance. “Shouldn’t your ego be filled knowing you make me cum fast?”

“Yeah, but —-fuck sue me for wanting more. And don’t say some shit like I’m a nympho or some shit because that’s fucking disgusting and those freaks are usually only in a relationship to fuck—-“

“OKAY OKAY CALM DOWN, BOY!” His voice kept getting louder and louder and you refused to have another write up because you have him in your dorm past curfew…again. “I get it though.”

“You want to be overstimulated.”

What? Bakugo scrunched yo his eyebrows. He never heard that term before used when talking about sex.

“Overstimulated means …well… showing you is actually better than telling you.”

In an instant Bakugo’s furrowed eyebrows soften, his gaze transitioned from confused to darker and subtly lustful. You felt the vibe of the room change so quickly you practically had to clear your throat to make him focus again.

“So the next question…”

“Nah, show me.” He firmly shuts your computer and places it on your nightstand. Arms still crossed, “Show me what that word means or should I look up a video and figure it out myself.”

“….y’can.”

It wasn’t ideal for your evening to end like this with him, but it’s just you and your slightly horny boyfriend watching porn videos.

What’s the worse that can happen?

[confiaenanaa]

Can I request an angsty one where the reader and Marshall/Em/Slim (whichever you prefer) they have an argument and at one point he tells her he doesn't need her, he can have whoever he wants and they won't complain about anything like she does. And obviously she feels hurt bc it's always been an insecurity of hers that he could have anyone. And he just confirmed her fear. Hopefully with a happy ending tho🙏🏻❤️ please and thank you! Sorry it's so long lol.

needed - eminem

fem!y/n x Marshall Mathers

masterlist

synopsis: Marshall says he doesn't need her, but what does he do when he doesn't have her?

warnings: cursing, drinking

A/N: loved this request! very fun to write. if you guys want anything written, my asks are open. hope you enjoy!

-Fuck you! 

-Oh, piss off!

Shouts could be heard from the Mathers residence that night. Y/N and Marshall were arguing over something stupid, again. They seemed to be having these arguments more and more often these days. This time, however, they were arguing over Marshall’s lack of communication. He’d have a bad day, be rude to Y/N, and when she’d ask what was wrong he’d blow up at her without telling her what bothered him. Today it seemed like he’d had an extra bad day. 

…

He got home from the studio later than usual. Y/N was reasonably worried, and when she called, he wouldn’t answer. So, once he got home, she asked him a ton of questions; questions like “where were you?” “what happened?” “are you alright?”. This angered him to no end since he hates explaining himself to people.

He refused to answer questions. Y/N knew he’d probably just had a rough day so she decided to make him his favorite home-cooked meal and some hot cocoa and treat him to a lovely night at home. But, when she brought him his food and drink, he just told her he wasn’t hungry, even after seeing all the effort she was putting in for him. 

That’s when something inside of her just snapped. She set the plate and mug on the table fecklessly, spilling some cocoa in the process. Marshall seemed a bit startled, knowing Y/N doesn’t usually throw fits like this and she usually keeps her temper in check. 

-God, Marsh! Would it kill you to at least give me a thank you? I’ve tried so hard to find out what’s wrong, and you won’t tell me! What happened to me being your #1 and your best friend? And come on! Look at this meal I made for you! Can’t you see how badly I want you to let me help you? 

-Fuck! I’m sorry I’m not living up to your boyfriend standards, Y/N! But, clearly, I had a rough day so just drop it! 

-You know what Marshall? I have bad days too! But you don’t see me bitching about it and acting like a little kid every time something doesn’t go my way! And even when I do feel upset, I tell you what’s wrong! Because I actually care about your feelings and I wouldn’t want you to worry!

- Oh, so, now I don’t care?! All I ever do is care about you Y/N! I write songs about you, I buy you everything you look at to make you happy, not to mention I make you feel pretty damn good!

- It’s not about that Marsh! God, are you even listening to me?! I don’t care that you’re upset, or that you’re in a bad mood or feeling mean; I just want you to tell me! I want you to communicate with me! I want us to work through our problems calmly, without me having to shout to get your attention!

-You always say that, but you never actually do it! Whenever you’re upset you just stay quiet! So don’t go telling me how to deal with my problems because you sure as hell don’t know how to deal with yours!

-Fuck you!

-Oh, piss off!

-Fuck, Marsh! This isn’t about me! We can work through what I do, but you seriously need to stop! 

-Stop it, Y/N! Stop already! If everything I do is so terrible and wrong, then why not just break up with me already? 

-Because I love you! I care so much about you and I just wish you could see it.

-You’re just saying that because you know I don’t need your ass. You know I can get with whoever the hell I want and they won't criticize me or complain about everything I do half as much as you do!

Y/N stayed silent for a bit. Her heart dropped and she could feel the lump develop in her throat. All this time she was with Marshall, she’d had her insecurities. But, he helped her work through them slowly. He helped her make sure she knew he’d never hurt her like that.

But, now, all that hard work was out the window. With those simple words. The tears began to prick her eyes and she looked down at the floor to try and conceal it. She felt like a little girl being yelled at. She felt helpless, and small. The man who was supposed to love her the most, to protect her, had failed her. He made her feel alone.

Marshall instantly felt a wave of regret wash over him. He felt it surge from his mind up to the tips of his ears down to the points of his toes. He looked at the girl he loves, knowing how badly he just hurt her. He opened his mouth to apologize, knowing he’d gone too far and he didn’t mean it; but, before he could, she had walked past him and into their bedroom. He quickly turned on his heels to follow her. 

Y/N was grabbing a few of her things: a hoodie, her phone charger, some gum, her earbuds, and some shoes. He once again tried to apologize but she wouldn’t hear it. He followed her all the way down to the garage and watched as she hopped in her car and sped off. He wasn’t sure where she was going, and, to be honest, neither was she. 

She hated herself for complaining and she hated him for being so mean to her. But, deep down, she knew she loved him more than anything and everything. She gripped her steering wheel harder, and turned up the volume of the song she was listening to. 

She pulled into the parking lot for some random bar she heard of from one of her friends. Her friend said it was the best place to go if you’re feeling sad or having a rough night. 

When she walked in, the bar looked exactly how she felt. It was dimly lit, the room reeking of alcohol and cigarette smoke. There were barely enough people to call a crowd in there, all sitting far apart with a drink in hand. Everyone looked glum in there, so she’d blend right in. She sat at the bar and ordered herself a few shots of rum. She downed them quickly, not feeling much different. She then ordered herself a vodka, which she kept refilling until the bartender just gave her the bottle. 

She kept feeling her phone buzz in her pocket. She assumed it was Marshall. She didn’t really want to respond, but she still looked, just in case. It was actually a text from her best friend asking what happened. Of course. Marshall texted her friend to see if Y/N was okay (since she usually goes to her best friend in times of need). Y/N decided not to answer, she was in more of a “fuck the world” kind of mood.

She set her phone down on the counter, finally feeling the effects of the alcohol. She wasn’t sure how she was going to get home or if she was going to get home at all. Before she could continue that thought, she saw a series of texts, making her phone buzz repeatedly. 

The contact name read “marsh :)”. She truly didn’t want to speak to him at the moment. She wasn’t sure why what he said affected her this way, but it did, and he knew that. She knew she was probably just being sensitive, but she couldn’t help but feel attacked. 

She looked at her phone again and saw Marshall’s concerned text chain.

“hello?”

“babyyy??”

“look baby i’m so sorry i know i messed up big time. please call me back so i can fix this.”

She didn’t bother reading the rest. She got more texts from him and her best friend. They seemed really concerned now. It was unlike Y/N, not answering the phone. It was cold, far too cold for someone of her character. However, Y/N wasn’t in the mood or the headspace to care about her character. She was too busy trying to keep her head upright as her vision blurred a bit from the effects of the white russian she was creating in her stomach at the moment. From that point forward, she couldn’t really recollect anything that had happened. The next thing she knew, she felt a pair of strong arms lifting her up by the waist and into their arms bridal-style. 

…

The next day, Y/N woke up in her bed alongside a snoring Marshall that had his arms wrapped around her tightly. She slowly shimmied out of his embrace, head beginning to pound when she stood up. She went downstairs and sat at the kitchen table with a small tonic for hangovers in hand. 

As she was washing the cup she was just using, Y/N heard a set of booming footsteps as they pounded against the wooden staircase. She turned around to look at Marshall. He looked incredible. His hair was a bit tousled and his eyes and lips were puffy. He came down and approached her without a second thought. The first thing he did was put his lips against hers. The kiss was warm, brilliant. 

Y/N crumpled under his touch. He pulled back and smiled slightly at her. His heart grew seeing her in front of him. He smiled even wider when he saw her smile back; however, he knew he wasn’t forgiven just yet. 

-Wait, look, I gotcha something.

He quickly walked into the living room and grabbed a small box and turned to the kitchen.

-I bought this a while ago. I wanted to give it to you somewhere better but this seemed like the right time.

Y/N opened the little box gingerly, a little nervous to see its contents. Her jaw dropped a tad when she saw it. 

A small ring, diamond encrusted and the exact type of metal she wears. It was perfectly tailored to her tastes. She looked up at him, eyebrow slightly raised.

-It’s a promise ring. I know what I said last night was fucked up but I didn’t mean it at all. I love you more than anything and you know that. I could never be with anyone else knowing that you’re out there in the world. 

He took the ring out of the box and secured it onto her finger. He then kissed her hand softly. She smiled taking in the view.

Then, she knew, more than anything, that she was truly loved.

[colourstreakgryffin]

Hallo again! I am the one who asked about Val, it wasn't a request I was asking if you write for him so here we go!

Could it please be where reader is Valentino's son ( or just child if you don't write for male reader ) and Valentino can't find someone to trust-worthy to babysit his son so he just take him to work since reader is non-verbal anyway and won't be much of a bother?

So reader now comes regularly with him and see the other Vees as family. Perhaps Vox as another dad/uncle and Velvette as a big sister ( or any family role for them ).

Thank you for giving a look to my request!

Ooh! Right! Okay, okay. I can try this out. To be honest, Val is a monster but something tells me he wouldn’t be THAT bad with a kid of his own and yes, I do write male readers. Female, male, transgender, genderfluid(if that’s possible, idk how but I would do it anyway), nonbinary/GN! But anyways. Let’s try Val out as a dad!

Valentino- Silkworm Caterpillar

Everybody who knows the director of the Pentagram City’s Porn Industry, Valentino, is aware how much of a bastard he is; cruel, abusive, exploitative but nobody had ever suspected that he would actually one: have a son and two: treat that son better than he’s ever treated anybody, even his on-and-off boyfriend, Vox

Your dad’s an insufferable man-child but yet, he is actually pretty good with you. He doesn’t really like much things, other than you. He is awful but he feels kinda soft and fluffy whilst he is around you. You’re basically his soft spot

Valentino needs hugs and he will get them, no matter what may step in his path. You are non-verbal and mute so he cannot communicate with you properly, he just acts on his affections for you since he believes it’s fine

Valentino is that type of wingman-father. He always encourages you to get out of your comfort zone and boosts you up to look even better. He’s a close friend to you and you can hang out with him in casual settings where it almost seems like he is just your uncle, not your father

Valentino always offers to get you what you want, he is a father that spoils his seed rotten. Want a drink? He’ll get it. Want a phone? He’ll get it. Want more hugs? You’re getting them rather you want ‘em or not. He likes it when you smile and he does very much have favouritism towards you, where he almost never raises his voice to you

Valentino is actually protective, believe it or not and he is defensive over his son. Rather said son be above ten years old, he doesn’t trust a single being in Hell. Not anybody in Vees, not any under their luck bum he picks up for hire, not any one of his assistants. Nobody. He doesn’t ever want to leave you with somebody who can cause a threat

Valentino doesn’t really want to resort to this but after some more time. He decides to stop leaving you in the Vees Tower. You’re alone and you need him so he begins to bring you to his porn studios but what he does is that he glues you to other devices so you don’t have to be uncomfortable with watching pornography

Valentino is relatively soft and gentle. Even somebody as deranged and sick as him has a moment of love and affection and it’s in his son. He could be the most pissed off and at his absolute worse but when he is greeted by his offspring, he swallows back everything to be doting to you

Valentino calls you his silkworm because you’re a little caterpillar to him. He’s the moth, you’re his caterpillar and he’d pop you on his back and spread his wings for you if he had to. He enjoys your reaction of surprise and awe at his rather beautiful moth wings. He can understand where it comes from, it’s incredible. Isn’t it? He likes it when you’re proud of him or in awe of him

Valentino is aware of your deafness. You’ve been deaf since he had you… back in human life. Believe it or not, but he did and he actually cared to get you hearing aids but after you two died, he lost a hold of hearing aids and he has literally no other methods to help you

Valentino also much prefers you like the Vees themselves and the effort proves worth it since you end up viewing his on-and-off boyfriend, Vox as a stepfather and Velvette, their close friend, as a surrogate big sister. Valentino finds your point of views on his fellow rulers rather adorable and will playfully tease you about them

Valentino is learning sign language, since now of this time, sign language has been fully developed but he is struggling and his temper makes him go from trying to giving up to trying again. He’ll get there eventually, all for you

Valentino out here doing aggressive sign language and failing a whole lot

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s6 episode 3 thoughts

okay. i have been told that this one is good. and i recognize the title of this episode from a piece of art i saw once where scully had a dress on. which made me need to catch my breath.

so. i am excited!!

let us read the episode description... hmm. i was one of those kids who was really worried about the bermuda triangle when i was little, so this might be healing for me. or make things worse.

mulder… don’t piss me off again! i still haven't forgiven you for that comment!!

ehehehehheeee, i’m excited!!!

post-episode thoughts: i am typing this after just having finished the episode, and i am feeling secret emotions i did not know existed an hour or so ago. wow. the nature of reality is that it can be SO profound. and i don’t even fully know what did or didn’t happen, which i believe was cultivated intentionally, but the friendships we made along the way were so real.

mulder, i will figure out what your deal is. scully, i will hold and cherish you forever.

we open on some waaaater. it seems a shipwreck has taken place!! NO, IS THAT DEAD MULDER? COME ON NOW, I DON’T WANT THAT. 

okay. intro time. so maybe he isn’t dead. maybe he was napping. underwater. 

SHORTENED INTRO AND NEW WORDS!!!!! “die wahrheit ist irgendwo da draußen” okaaaaay! i don’t speak german 💜 but i have a guess as to what that means

(and upon googling it, i was correct... yay! also, someone please appreciate my effort in going to wikipedia and copying and pasting the ß character just so i wouldn't get cancelled by the german speakers of the internet)

they’re pulling him out of the water!!!! and “they” sound like they are from across the pond!! but they are also speaking german, so who knows. whoever “they” are, they sure don’t recognize him.

they’re gonna throw him back overboard!!! but they find his ID and no one has ever heard of the FBI. he is baffled by this. how do you not know about the FBI? well, buddy, from the uniforms these fellows are wearing, i have some theories

the sailors take him to the captain and they’re beating him up!!! no one is bothering to introduce themselves. rude af??

ohhhh, he’s on the queen anne, which is the boat he came looking for!! so now he knows what is afoot. time warp. yeah.

LMAOOOOO he recites the EXACT location of the ship. okay. listen, i haven’t FORGIVEN him, but that is endearing. aww. i love when he nerds out.

ohhh noooo, they tell him it’s 1939 and hitler has just invaded poland and also this boat!! mulder thinks that the members of this ship have popped on over to 1998, but the opposite has happened!!! how is he gonna get out of this one?!

“it’s okay! the war’s over! let ‘em take you to germany, they make nice cars!” <- LMAOOOOO HE IS SO CONVINCED 

absolutely wild thing to say to someone who thinks that the nazis are afoot...

that is a grown man giggling and laughing because his time warp theory came true <3

he goes over to the radio and tries to call for help... and i am again impressed that he knows what he is doing on an old timey radio, but maybe that is a required FBI skill…. but the radio actually says that it *is* september 3rd, 1939, and there is war with germany!!!!

“oh, sh-" oh nooooo…. he has miscalculated……!!!

a german approaches!! it’s so hard to see because everything is SO DARK!! which is a pattern i am noticing after 3 episodes of this season!!! but mulder is hiding!!! and then he sneaks out and beats tf out of the german guy!!!

IT’S SPENDER?????

what. 

is he tripping…..?

you know, logistics of if this is actually happening in canon or merely mulder's head aside, more fight scenes should take place to andrews sisters songs

so mulder steals spender’s german uniform and puts it on, but he cannot respond to the people yelling at him in german!!!! does he have the advantage from studying this particular ship for years?? LMAO yeah, he hid around the corner! don't let anyone tell you that studying the layouts of boats that disappeared decades ago is useless knowledge!

woaaaah, there’s a fancy dance going on somewhere else!!! mulder enters the dance floor in his uniform!!!! and tries to flirt with the singer...

HE FINDS SCULLY!!!! BUT SHE THINKS HE’S A NAZI!!!!!! she has no idea who tf he is even though he is trying to explain. oh my GOD, she says she’s gonna punch him!!!!

oh. i’m blushing… scully in a dress with her hair like that….

the nazis burst in with guns and SHE HAD TO TRANSLATE FOR HIM…… because she knows a little german….

who is this man that she is dancing with?

“yeah, you’re all big men now, but wait until you get to russia! hope you fellas like the cold!” he yells out as they drag him away, and yet again i ask: LMAOOOO, WHAT IS GOING ON?

they’re dragging him to the deck! and the captain is saying he refuses to give up the ship!!! and the germans shoot him!!!

OH SHIT!!! IT’S CSM THAT TOLD HIM TO PULL THE TRIGGER??

i don’t know enough about german to know if he’s delivering those lines authentically, but it sounds convincing to me

someone finds his ID… SKINNER???? WHAT IS GOING ONNNN??

so they probably do not want to kill him if he is a proven american, which hopefully means he can get through the rest of the day until mercury comes out of retrograde or whatever 

oooo, present day!!! scully at a desk!! seems weird. i guess you have to be careful what you wish for.

BUT NOT AS WEIRD AS THE LONE GUNMEN ARRIVING AT HER PLACE OF WORK??? they say that mulder is in big trouble!!!

“the walls have ears” “i have ears, will you tell me what’s going on?” <- lmao, she’s such a smartass 

they try and explain what is going on, and she knows the queen anne right away!!! and is handling this news that it showed up this morning pretty well, all things considered.

“that’s impossible” “satellite doesn’t lie” “there’s nothing ON HERE!” <- BAHAHA, maybe i spoke too soon about her handling this news well

so the lone gunmen told him they found the queen anne, he chartered a boat, and has since gone missing!!!

love that they probably had been watching satellite on the bermuda triangle for years now to have noticed a sudden appearance. and love that mulder seemed to have a plan for what to do when that day finally arrived. truly, the lone gunmen and him match each other's freak.

they tell scully she needs to get information from the pentagon, and she heads off to go get it!!!

oh boy, kersh is gonna have a field day with this.

they’re filming this as one big walking shot, which is a cool effect 

BAHAHA, SHE WALTZES RIGHT INTO SKINNER’S OFFICE!! SHE IS NOT WAITING, and he is fully on the phone, but she does not give a FUCK, and that is my QUEEN!!!!

omg is she going to get in trouble for coming to see him… i’m nervous!!!

skinner hangs up and starts listening RIGHT AWAY!! oh yes!!!! 

OHHHH…. he doesn’t want to talk to her or hear whatever she has to say!!! 

his assistant sadly says “she walked right past me” LMAOOOO

OH SHIT, THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTING!!! “you’re out of line, agent scully” “no, sir, you’re out of line” <- YEAH, SHE IS GONNA CALL HIM SIR WHILE YELLING AT HIM!!! THAT IS MY GIRL!!

“i’m sorry, but i’m coming to you for help, and i’ve got nowhere else to go. i would hope that after everything that we have been through that you’d at least have the courtesy and the decency, and not to mention the respect, to listen to what i have to say” <- OHHHH YOU TELL HIM 🔥 THAT IS FIVE FEET OF RAGE!!

he starts whining about losing his job and his pension and she ROLLS HER FUCKING EYES LMAOOOO she has had ENOUGH!!!

can she call in a favor on her father’s memory to the navy people??

she goes to open the door but he SLAMS IT SHUT OMFG????? 

(this moment was CRAAAAZY)

“use your head, scully. it’ll save your ass” “save your own ass, sir. you’ll save your head along with it”

oh my GOD, she would say “save your own ass, SIR”, that is just so her. oh, she is in her detective era, and she is not going to play nice!!!!!

skinner… i want to know what you are thinking… maybe he thinks she can call in a favor in her father’s memory like i thought…

(more post-episode thoughts: i also think that it is really interesting that she trusts the lone gunmen enough that she hears what they have to say and then IMMEDIATELY goes straight to skinner because she knows they wouldn't lie to her. even if their story sounds ridiculous, there has to be some element of truth to it, because it's Them, and they have helped the agents for so long, and they wouldn't joke about mulder being in trouble. and it's also very interesting how she drops absolutely everything and barely formulates a plan as to what to do next, because scully is usually the queen of plans and knowing what to do, and so rarely do we get to see her being impulsive... i just think it's neat)

they’re still filming this as one continuous action shot, which is so cool, and also was probably a major pain to accomplish. 

OHHH, she’s nervous!! scully is smacking the paper with the info she needs to know around in the elevator, and she hits someone who says “ouch!” and she mumbles “sorry” OHHHH, SCULLY…. my heart... she needs to save the day and she has no time for this, but she still feels bad for smacking that lady!!! ohhh my god, i just wanna put her in a nice blanket and give her a movie to watch. stop stressing her out.

she shoves through this other secretary to get to KERSH!! she must be really desperate to come to him!!! is this a trap??

FUCK!!! CSM WAS IN THERE!!!! AND HE HEARD HER SAY THAT SHE NEEDED INFORMATION OF MAXIMUM IMPORTANCE!!

nooo, she’s regretting coming in unannounced 💔💔💔 poor queen is nervously playing with her hair and then pacing the halls….. and she left the information she needed with kersh!!! so now he knows what it is she wants!!! this cannot be good!!!

she’s mumbling “what am i thinking? what am i thinking?” and calling someone on her cell!!!

but of course mulder does not pick up due to being on a different realm!!

(funny that she was in such a panic mode that she literally did not think to call him until this very moment LMAOOOO)

HOLY FUCK!!!! MY JAW IS ON THE FLOOR??? SHE GOES TO SPENDER?? “i want you to do me a favor. it’s not negotiable. either you do it, or i kill you. you understand?” <- HOLY HELL???

oh, i’m blushing and giggling and also aware that this will probably have negative career consequences for her since she just threatened CSM's most special baby boy, but i cannot pick my jaw off of the floor…..

“you okay, agent scully?” “no, i’m not. i’m a gun ready to go off, so don’t test me, spender, don’t even THINK about trying to weasel me”

ohhhh my GOD. she says she will “hunt him down” if he doesn’t come back right away with what she needs, and she doesn’t care what or who he has to do to get the answer. and then realizing how insane this sounds, she mumbles “oh god” to herself quietly.

well, the good news is, this is so uncharacteristic for her that if it’s her word against spender’s, they might be pretty evenly matched. i mean, maybe he has the promotion, but she has the longer record of service, and while she may have been demoted to domestic terrorism, she is known as the scientist and rationalist, soooo…

(i cannot quite figure out what relationship spender has to her. he sounded legitimately concerned and did not question her at all. is his personal fury more directed at mulder? i mean, there was that horrible moment where he implied that mulder was using her that was all thick and weird and tense, and he probably still has residual anger from her talking to his mother, but he doesn't seem as mad at her as he is at mulder, because if mulder came in there and did that he would have simply pulled out his gun)

very sad to see that the basement office is now filled with spender's things. i noticed he has some medal on the wall. but cannot tell what it comes from. it's far too organized!

spender leaves, and the basement office phone rings!!! and she picks it up!!! IT’S CSM??? he thinks she is diana so she LOWERS HER VOICE A LITTLE TO PRETEND TO BE HER… and he wants to know about the paper scully handed kersh!!!

LMAOOOO, HE GETS SUSPICIOUS AND SHE HANGS UP 

NOOO, SPENDER SNITCHED TO KERSH??? she calls him a rat bastard and SPRINTS OUT, LMAOOOO

i am at once amused and stressed tf out

she gets in the elevator and yells “STUPID” which i deeply relate to. some people are not great at being impulsive. her cell phone rings and she picks it up and it’s... maybe mulder???? but he is very garbled!!!

NOOOO, SHE WALKS ONTO THE FLOOR WHERE CSM AND KERSH ARE 💔💔 she goes right back into the elevator as they point at her LMAO

she is still yelling into her phone and she runs into SKINNER!!!!! it was actually HIM that was on the phone, not mulder!!

and he has the info she needs and she KISSES HIM???? ON THE LIPS??? what the hell, oh my god. 

i’m literally gasping for air, oh my god. what the hell am i watching? GOD. imagine being skinner right now. wait hold, on i’m genuinely fucking crying. tears of laughter, mind you. he must have been SO thrown off. imagine your best and most loyal agent who nearly died a horrible death is back from the grave, but now you can’t talk to her because she's trying to expose the evil government, but you did talk to her anyway to save her bestie’s ass, and she smooches you. and you’re trapped in the elevator and you might lose your job.

god. i’m fucking losing it. the way her eyes were open as she kissed him.

BUT SKINNER IS AN IMPROV LEGEND!! because he gets off on the floor where CSM and spender were, and he LOUDLY yells at her that if she EVER asks him to break protocol he will have her OUT OF THE FBI RIGHT AWAY!!!

SKINNER!! MY KING!!!!!!!!!!!

god. i still need to do that best skinner moments from s5 post.

AND SHE’S GETTING PICKED UP BY THE LONE GUNMEN IN THEIR WAGON, LMAOOOO

spender is sprinting behind them, but alas! he cannot outrun a wagon.

mulder, meanwhile, is explaining world war two to the guys who are currently in it, and hating on the spice girls. rude. spice up your life. 

OHHH, someone who will build the atom bomb is on the boat… and mulder puts that together and explains it to someone who turns out to be a german spy!! wait, was scully dancing with EINSTEIN?? or oppenheimer or someone? clearly i was too invested with her hair and dress and how she was threatening to punch mulder to pay too much attention

(there was no oppenheimer nor einstein and i feel vindicated)

there’s a big fight as mulder declares they ought to turn the ship around and go back the way they came so they can return to the present and avoid germany winning the war!!!!!

it’s so dark, it’s hard to tell what is going on as they run about the ship. ohhhh they bring mulder back to the dance hall…. CSM wants him to identify who can make the bomb….. and if he doesn’t answer the question, they will kill passengers!!! NOOOO, they did kill someone!!!!!

OH SHIT, SCULLY STEPS FORWARD, SAYING THAT SPENDER IS KILLING INNOCENT PEOPLE OVER NOTHING BECAUSE MULDER DOESN’T KNOW…. but he has HER at gunpoint now!!!

NOOOOO, THE GUY THEY KILLED WAS THE SCIENTIST…. where does this leave them… does past scully have to invent the atom bomb…?

meanwhile, the lone gunmen and scully are off in the bermuda triangle, and the queen anne is right there!!!! so can they get on there and save the day?? what is the proper course of action here?!

back inside the ship in the year of our lord 1939, mulder is yelling nursery rhymes at the nazis, and scully claims to be the scientist who can end the war. but some other guy says that HE is the scientist and she was sent here to protect him, so they take THAT guy away.

1939 scully curses at CSM in german, and then they are going to EXECUTE THEM??? but the engine shuts down!!! it’s brawl time!!!

modern scully and the lone gunmen are breaking into the ship trying to find mulder!! while a jazzy soundtrack plays!! and mulder and past scully are trying to save the ship!!

he’s leading past scully… but they get caught…. BY GERMAN SKINNER?? WHO SAYS “god bless america, get your asses out of here” <- YAAAAAS DAT IST MEIN UNCLE!!!!

past scully and present scully nearly collide!! while the ballroom brawl continues in the past!! 

past mulder has to convince past scully to get them to turn the ship around or else he’ll never be born!!!

i love that he explains it to her through the lens of einstein because he knows that she would have that as a frame of reference. because there is no scully, past or present or future, who wouldn't know about einstein. that's a very cute nod to her thesis.

AND THEN. LONG MAKEOUT SESSION. IN CASE WE NEVER MEET AGAIN????

my JAW. is once AGAIN. on the FLOOR.

(the darkness of this season is pissing me off. i wanted to see that in HIGH QUALITY!)

she PUNCHES HIM, he remarks that he was expecting a left jab, and then he JUMPS OFF THE SIDE OF THE BOAT??

past scully tosses a life preserver over!!!! and we’re back to the present!!!!

ohhh, mulder has flowers by his hospital bed, and the lone gunmen and skinner are all there… they must have fished him out!!

he’s trying to explain to her how she saved the world!!! and she just sarcastically agrees.

and the queen anne was just a ghost ship!!!!

(turns out a ghost ship means a ship with nobody on it, not a phantom of a boat. this is important to know because at first i was like "wtf, scully believes in ghosts now, but only for boats?")

skinner tells mulder that he better get well soon because is going to kick his ass (deserved) and then he and the gunmen leave. but scully stays behind.

“i would’ve never seen you again. but you believed me” (she leans in) “in your dreams” 

ohhh... it is sickeningly sweet as she tells him to go to sleep.

“hey, scully?” (he sits up) “yes?” (loooong silence) “i love you” “…oh, brother”

(as she leaves, he cradles the eye where past scully punched him in the face, smiling)

oh my god. i mean, it’s not like we really needed confirmation that he had feelings for her, but. like. that was it. he said the words. and then held his face where she punched him and remembered kissing her.

so, did the time warp really happen? who is to say? it’s fun to turn around both possibilities in your mind. the possibility that past scully really did believe him and was able to save the world AND the possibility that it would only happen in his dreams. 

there is so much to analyze here.

spender being a nazi… and skinner being a nazi… and CSM being a nazi… some of these make more sense than others. what are the implications... spender could speak both languages... is that an indication he is a double agent?

her saying “oh brother” to his love confession… oh my god, she must have thought he was sky high… i wonder how she felt hearing him say that? i wonder if she thought it was a joke, or if he really meant it, or it was the insane ramblings of someone very ill. i wonder if part of her felt crushed to hear those words, like that fragile thing that they have between them was being tampered with. or i wonder if she had always wanted to hear him say that and never let herself imagine it. either way, better to approach it from the angle of a sick man's mumbling. probably the only way to make sense of it. but i know she went home Wondering.

and what are they going to do about scully’s erratic behavior???? she normally conducts herself with such rationality! and today she barged in on two assistant directors, threatened to kill spender, and then ran off with the gunmen in a wagon! oh my god!!! i guess we won’t know!!! it looks like the next episode is a two parter, so i doubt that we will have time to examine the consequences from today.

but then again, rationality isn't ALWAYS her thing. gestures to all of the times she has nearly killed someone for getting between her and mulder before.

if you do consider the time warp to have actually happened, it’s very interesting that it shows scully has the capacity for belief. this whole episode was analyzing how scully responds to crisis- but that particular crisis being losing him for real. there have been close calls before, but this was unexpected and bizarre. usually she is very calm in crisis. but there are certain things in life you simply cannot prepare for. there’s FBI training on hostage situations and disease protocol, but nothing for “your partner travels back in time”

skinner…. my best friend…. he put it all on the line for them AND made an incredibly convincing performance in front of spender and CSM… the oscar goes to him

oh scully, i just. oh my god, man. i love her!!! her being impulsive because she had no choice!!! telling spender she would kill him!!! and then going in the hallway and mumbling “stupid, stupid”!!! apologizing for smacking that lady!!! kissing her boss on the mouth with her eyeballs open because she was so overcome with emotion!! that is MY disaster medical doctor special agent scully!!

and mulder thinking he was going to to die slash never be born at all so he KISSED her while he could…. and then back in the real world using his delirium as an excuse to say “i love you”, to hear how those words sound coming from his mouth… just to know what it felt like...

oh my god. i need to snuggle into a big cuddly blanket and scream a little.

so, now let us analyze mulder's recent behavior, stretching from the tail end of s5 to now. and you have to promise that you won't tell me if any particular theories i put forward are right or wrong! you can only comment on if you think my proposed theories are interesting. because i assume that YOU know why mulder is being weird (snapping at scully, agreeing to go undercover, fucking off to investigate a ship, and then confessing love despite his actions and words indicating disdain, etc) but i just do not.

i can put together from the comments left on my last posts and vague subtext in the show itself that there is SOMETHING afoot with mulder, which is why he is acting like a dick. but i cannot figure out WHAT it is. my guess is that maybe he is in some sort of danger so he’s trying to push scully away?? in an attempt to save her?? like when he went undercover, but maybe something even bigger and scarier??? but maybe he could use his vulnerability to confess how he really felt while he had the chance?? and then he will go back to being all moody?? because he thinks that he is in danger and doesn't have much time left? and maybe he thinks that if he acts all rude and terrible scully will be able to handle his demise?

the only other thing i can guess (and again: don’t tell me if i’m right or wrong!! i just want to voice my thoughts) is that maybe something is happening with his mom?? but if his mom was sick or dying or something, it still doesn’t make sense for him to take it out on scully. but then again, people take their rage out on each other in real life all the time, even if it doesn't make any sense.

maybe it’s something with his sister? i mean we saw his “sister” that CSM brought to him a while ago, but it was never addressed again… i mean, i don’t believe it was really her anyway, but maybe he thinks that diana can help him find her?? because she came back into town for some unfinished business or for family or something- what was it she said in the car with gibson? so maybe they’re plotting something together?? and he thinks (stupidly) that diana can help him with some secret thing he cannot tell scully about???

man. i don’t know. and i will have to just keep moving forward to find out. which means i will probably have to endure more bitchy mulder before i get answers. and then once i DO get answers, i will have to see if i judge them to be valid or not. 

but let us not look too far into the future. let us look to what we have been given, which is 1939 AU scully in a beautiful red backless dress, and noir detective canon scully, and sleepy, loopy, delirious lover boy mulder, and skinner who is the best boss around, and three guys in a wagon who will save their buddy from a time-traveling ship. and that is so beautiful. amen.

i realize i wrote all of that and never outright stated my feelings on the episode. while you probably picked up on it, but i did enjoy it! i was laughing and gasping and blushing and giggling. it was nice to have a change in pace. i thought the way it was shot was really interesting as well, with all of the perpetual motion. it had many of the things i consider integral to a good episode, which include, but are not limited to: skinner acting prickly and detached but then pulling through and saving the day, scully threatening to kill people and commanding a scene, mulder nerding tf out and reciting facts, fun costumes, MSR bait, and things you can turn around in your head over and over to make your own interpretations on! i'm not sure if it would make my top 15 episodes list just because it was SO zany and i'm having trouble wrapping my head around that, but definitely a contender.

i have a feeling my thoughts on this episode will grow and change with time, which is perfectly acceptable. i'll try to crack the symbolism of mulder's time warp visions in more detail moving forward, and i will probably find scully's panic somewhat out of character, if endearing. but you only get to watch something for the first time once. and so we share this moment together, you and i.

[farfaras]

Steddie week. Day 3: First kiss. 1.4k words. Ao3 link.

@steddie-week

~

Yeah, they’re absolutely, 100 percent, morons. Like, who even is this stupid? Steve thinks that ever since facing off an evil wizard with interdimensional powers, they do not have a sense of preservation or survival when it comes to actual normal human beings.

They just wanted to have dinner! Honestly Eddie hasn’t had much trouble with people, the story that was put out made him look like a hero (which Steve is glad for, because he is) and the town believed it like they’ve believed everything since 1983.

But these fucking jocks will not leave Eddie alone. Steve is tired of this, he can’t even imagine the exhaustion that Eddie feels.

When they approached them Steve knew that it was going to be a little bit harder to get out of than the other times. There were 5 of them, and just Steve and Eddie. When it’s just one or two, Steve can usually just scare them off with a glare and a name drop.

And Eddie.

He’s an idiot.

An idiot!

Since the whole thing he pulled in the upside down, they’ve had talks. About how he’s not a coward. He’s brave and he doesn’t need to prove anything. Sometimes running is okay. Sometimes running is the only option.

But he still has trouble believing it sometimes.

Steve is patient and understanding. Robin has said many times how people have a process.

He just wishes Eddie didn’t have to live his process right at moments like these!

He loves Eddie (wait, hold on, what?), but he can be somewhat impulsive and unpredictable. Steve was hoping that while he was defusing and excusing themselves, Eddie would follow his lead. Well, wrong.

He doesn’t even know what happened! One moment he was talking and the next they’re running away from some soda splashed jocks. Oh come on, Eddie.

Robin sometimes jokes about him and Eddie being the kids’ co-parents. The kids find it funny, for some reason. Dustin calls them both dad and Mike likes to call Steve mom as if that would bother him.

But right now, Eddie doesn’t feel like a co-parent as much as he feels like another goddamn kid. Always the babysitter.

So now, they’re running from 5 guys who are pissed. And sticky.

“Why the hell did you do that?!” Steve is almost hysterical.

“I panicked! They’re so many!” Eddie is panting, and he doesn’t know how much more he’s gonna be able to keep running.

“So throwing drinks at them was your solution?!” Steve is talking a big game, but in an alternative universe, he’s probably the one who threw the drinks.

“Better than what you were doing!” Eddie argues.

“I was doing just fine!” He was! Steve was gonna get them out of there. Unscathed. He had to. That’s what he’s for.

“Words weren’t gonna stop ‘em.” True, but at least they could’ve walked out or ran, before they were pissed.

“Well I hardly see anything that could stop them now!” They take a turn so they have some time to think of something while the jocks catch up. But like Steve said there’s nothing that can help them here.

There’s some stores. And an alley in the middle of a clothing and a pet store. Eddie grabs his hand and guides them towards the clothing store. “Come on, follow my lead.”

There’s some mannequins in front of the store, Eddie takes a long dark coat off the mannequin. “What are you doing?” Steve asks.

“Shh.” Eddie just shushes him. He shushes him! What is he on?

“Wha- don’t you shush me!” He whisper yells with not a very convincing anger in his voice.

“Stop asking questions and just do what I say!” Eddie requests. Which is kind of a lot to ask considering he’s the one who worsened the situation. “I got us into this and I’ll get us out.” Huh. Steve thinks that’s fair, but he’s still hesitant.

“But I don’t know what we’re doing.” Steve doesn’t like that.

“Me neither. But it’s better than nothing.” Steve thinks Eddie kinda lives by that philosophy. Does he have that one on that doctrine he came up with?

What’s the difference between philosophy and doctrine? Huh. Wait, no sidetracking. Steve, focus! You’re both in danger.

Eddie puts the coat on, it’s so long it covers most of his legs. He also grabs the beanie and jacket that were on the other mannequin and puts it on Steve. “What’s this even gonna do?”

“I told you to stop asking questions!” Eddie’s eyes look wild.

“Sorry.” Steve’s sure Eddie is scared right now, but he does a good job of hiding it.

Eddie takes his hand and they run to the alley. Who has a dead end. Shit. They hear the voices turning the corner. Fuck, they’re gonna come across the alley anytime now.

Eddie turns to him and backs him into a corner. “Kiss me.”

Well. Steve couldn’t have heard that right. He shakes his head. “What?”

Eddie turns his back on the entrance of the alley. It’s kinda dark and they’re all the way to the back. “Now! They’re coming!” Eddie demands.

Eddie doesn’t give him much time to answer or even come up with something to say. Suddenly there are lips pressed to his. Eddie swallows any sound of surprise he might’ve been about to make. Eddie’s hands are on his chest and Steve finds himself putting his hands on Eddie’s waist and pulling him closer, as if he’s acting on instinct. There’s footsteps, voices, they seem to stop in front of the entrance. Steve doesn’t exactly know what they’re doing because he’s closed his eyes. They mutter something, god knows what, and then they go on their way. Looking for them somewhere else.

However, they don’t stop kissing when they’re gone. In fact, Steve hugs Eddie’s waist now, pulling them chest to chest while Eddie’s hands move to his face. They pull apart just to catch a single breath before going back in. Huh, now they’re just making out. Steve can call it what it is. He doesn’t know what Eddie is doing with his tongue, but he’s not complaining at all.

“I- um.” Eddie tries to step back but his embrace is strong. “My long hair.”

“Your…?” Steve’s brain isn’t computing much right now.

“From their point of view, it-“ Eddie inhales deeply. “It probably looked like a girl and a guy kissing.” Oh. Oh, Steve is so stupid. “Plus this coat almost looks like a dress.”

“Yeah, no, that’s- you-“ God, can he not even form sentences anymore? “Good thinking.” If he could, Steve would facepalm right now.

“They’re gone now.” Eddie nods.

“They sure are.” Steve confirms. Doesn’t really know what else to do.

Eddie looks around, and then directly at his eyes. That’s intense. “You can let me go now.”

He can let him go now. Eddie’s hands have moved to his shoulders, probably not knowing where else to put them.

He could let him go, now. They could go back to their respective places. And move on like this was another normal day for them.

He could do that.

Or.

Or he could confront this. Confront this thing that’s been going on between them for, in Steve’s humble opinion, far too long. He was scared before. He still is, but it doesn’t feel like something he can’t conquer, now. So he makes the decision. He’s not running away from this anymore. Even if sometimes that’s all you can do, that’s not the case here. He could be doing so much more. They could be doing so much more.

“No.” Steve says. And it’s said with finality.

Eddie looks confused. “What? What do you mean?”

“I won’t let you go.” He shrugs. They’re still holding on to each other. “I like you too much for that.”

“What are you saying?”

“Exactly what you heard. I like you.” He leans in. He waits for Eddie to back off, show any type of discomfort or rejection on his face. But there’s nothing like that. “Can I kiss you again?”

A gasp comes out. Eddie nods. “Yes.” It’s whispered and if they weren’t so close he might’ve never heard it.

This one is more gentle. Slow and soft. Almost lazy, like they don’t need to rush because they know they’re gonna get to this again. And again.

“I like you too.” Eddie rests his forehead to his.

Steve smiles at him, and when Eddie smiles back he knows. He knows that he’s gonna fall so hard. He kinda already has.

[spookberry]

Manga review cuz I was feeling irritable:

Kaoru Hana wa Rin to Saku

Its getting an anime in 2025 which looks like it has potential to be very Pretty but like i Do Not get why people like this manga. Like its a romance but the romance is the blandest part of the story.

You know whats ACTUALLY interesting and good?? The friendships.

Like oh my god main girl, Kaoruko, has nothing going on except for being a word of encouragement when main guy needs it. Literally made in a lab to be cute and be in the right place at the right times to push him along his path a little faster than he would've gone without her. Otherwise every beautiful and sweet and meaningful move in his character arc is actually entirely because and FOR his friends!!! Which is annoying in a feminist way, but I'd be willing to give em some leeway cuz Rintaro is the main character its his pov so obvi we arent gonna get glimpses into her inner world if he isnt.

But!!!! My main problem is the other characters in the story ascribe everything he does as her good influence on him which is like blatantly untrue????

He changes and becomes a better person and learns to communicate specifically to show his friends he cares about them the way they care about him. The FIRST thing he ever truly talks to her about is how he is putting more effort into this test because if he passes it means he gets to hang out with his friends and how hes anxious about it cuz hes Never Cared About doing well on tests before now like akckahsj. And yet everything gets turned around like "wow im so glad you met Her youve changed so much for her" like the story itself is misunderstanding him and his motivations in a way that pisses me off sooo bad.

Like dont get me wrong here either I do not hold any of this against Kaoruko at all. Its just weird that shes this perfect idealized girlfriend when the only person she seems to have any true and deep connection to is her own childhood best friend Subaru who is an infinitely more interesting female lead. (And even then we dont get to see all that from Kaoruko's perspective either, we see it from Subaru's) Watching Subaru befriend the guys and work through their issues together is sweet and wholesome and like actually compelling.

Not to mention Subaru's own hangups and issues play more into the stories overarching drama of the boys and girls going to rival schools that hate one another.

Kaoruko being so sweet and always smiling in the face of adversity yet simultaneously being completely closed off and unknowable COULD be interesting too!! But as far as I read, the manga was not interested in unpacking what could've lead her to be like that nor was it setting up ways to crack her open more or let the other characters have that glimpse into her inner world the way we've gotten with Subaru or Rintaro or Saku or even the other that other girl shes friends with.

The other thing the manga really struggles with is what i call showing And telling cuz not only will you see a cool emotional beat and get to process it but then you get to watch the characters explain it to eachother for the rest of the chapter too. Like the writing is Really handholding the audience, when they genuinely Do Not need to. Like the art is already good at showing how people are feeling or what theyre thinking we dont need it to be explained on top of that. Maybe this is something the anime will fix...... or its something the anime will make worse.

3rd thing is the way they hinted at the eventual introduction of Rintaro's older brother made me think he died and that was why Rintaro was Like That. Like I was 100% expecting this angsty backstory but no. Hes just at college. I wish he was dead. It woulda been so much more interesting.

[tubborucho]

I don’t fully agree with your hc about Em and Tubbo right now but the fandom response really pissed me off. It’s not fair to you or anyone else with that hc but it’s also not really fair to Tubbo and Em. I originally typed up a whole thing about that but at this point I think pretty much everything has been said already so instead I started thinking more about their relationship.

The way he treats her is more significant than just a babysitter imo, but personally I’m just sticking them in a vague family category without specific labels for now. I don’t think he’s at father status with Em yet but I could absolutely see him becoming that for her. I think Sunny might even advocate for him adopting Em if it ever came to that. I can imagine them getting the idea of it and dropping some not-so-subtle hints about being a family, kind of like their older brother Ramon did with Pac. Any other egg and I think she’d be insecure about it but she adores Em and I think she’d jump at the chance to get her sister any little bit of extra protection (they’d probably still be a little insecure but in a way that could be worked through with help from their family). Tubbo is already 100% in on protecting all eggs but that extra family tie would definitely mean something to Sunny. 

To me it seems like Em just calls him Tubbo because she’s not sure what else to call him. I don’t think any role is a perfect fit for her right now. He’s her sister’s Pa which kind of makes him family but also she doesn’t want to take anything from Sunny. He clearly loves her but he hasn’t explicitly called her his family and he’s spent a ton of time this week being extremely protective of all the eggs, not just her and Sunny. Asking to call him Pa after a week together would be a crazy move from an egg who seems to be very cautious about fitting in and not bothering anyone as a way to help keep herself and her siblings safe. Also I do think it would be reasonable for Em to be concerned about making her mothers upset by asking for someone else to become one of her parents (fans being rude about something that hasn’t even happened is still unreasonable though).

To be honest, I fully agree with you. Me saying Tubbo is Em’s father never actually meant that they are already on that stage. More of me seeing that becoming a thing later in the story. But Tubbo does act with Em a lot like he does with Sunny, and I truly do think that in his mind she is one of his people :)

We’ll see how it goes, obviously, it may never become canon and Em would settle on some other title for him, but I personally think they are on that track to becoming a father and a daughter.

I think my vision was the best described in the last chapter of this awesome thing, I recommend reading the whole thing, but here are screenshots of the part I am talking about: http://archiveofourown.org/works/52694644

[sphylor]

Ramble about a special interest, now, go I wanna hear

🫰🫰🫰

okay okay okay so!! my favourote book series of all time ever literally ever is called the chronicles of st marys by Jodi Taylor. i literally love it so much UGH andni havent read any of the books in a while so my memory is a little rusty but it is definitely a special interest of mine fhshhfj. basically its about this group of historians who "investigate major historical events in contemporary time" (time travel). its actually incredibly respectful in the way it handles it too.(spoilers under the cut)

it mostly focuses on british history for the most part (its a british bookseries) but they do visit troy, the battle of agincourt in france, constantinople (during the sack might i add which. yeah. that was a stressful moment for sure....) etc etc. its so fucking funny like it has me in tears laughing whenever i read it but its literally do devastating at the same time (my favourite book in the series, "and the rest is history", made me cry 8 times in one read through because of how tragic it is...). but its really well written and researched and youd think with like 14 books in the series, multiple short stories and a spin off sister series it would get a bit stale but honestly it doesnt. the characters are so full of life and, well, character.

speaking of the characters. theres Maxwell who is the main character and who we see everything unfold through the eyes of. shes so funny and witty and doesnt know when to stop which can be her downfall sometimes. she acts a lot through anger and does things very impulsively especially in the beginning. it can lead to some very funny moments (like the time she drove her boyfriend's car into the lake when he gave her the cold shoulder and was rude to her (neither of their faults tbh its complicated fhdhhf)) i see a lot of myself in Max. theres a lot of hurt masked by anger inside of her. shes the reason why i chose the name Max fjdhhf

she faces a lot of struggles as well... but its okay because her best friend Tim is there to save the day (and piss on her a couple of times accidentally). He is my favourite character 100% hes funny in a smooth and charming way. literally such a puppy dog i just want to ruffle his hair and give him treats. also have i mentioned that all of these characters that work at st marys are 1000000000000% audhd like these goobers are so neurodivergent i love em all. but yeah Tim is a proper gentleman super sweet and caring and always there for you but also he ends up going through so much shit and it breaks him it fucking destroys him and its so sad to see...

Markham is my next favourite little guy hes such a little guy a little skrunkly wunkly woo a grimey little goober. his characterisation is pretty weak in the first couple of books but he soon becomes really important and fleshed out. hes the court jester the class clown the village idiot. super funny but he also has a tragic past and when he gets serious he gets serious. while Max and Tim were historians, the ones going out of jumps to different time periods to collect data, Markham is security. he makes sure the st marys building is safe and secure and also goes out on jumps with the disaster magnets also known as historians to make sure they dont get into trouble (its actually more like to get them out of trouble at the very last minute when they inevitably do get themselves into trouble tbh djbfhdj) hes indestructible. hes been shot, blown up, fell off of a 3 story tall burning building, frequently has some sort of illness like mange or worms, and the only bit of permenant damage hes recieved is that a chunk of his ear is missing.

then theres Leon... i have a love hate relationship with him. hes Max's love interest. original Leon from the first 3 books is fine i guess...... he does a lot of shitty things but so does Max honestly.... and their relationship gets ruined over one event where really Max was in the wrong but what she did was understandable... still incredibly morally wrong but yeah.... and neither of them stopped loving each other even when they were apart. and then. and then book 3 throws a massive curveball and kills him off. they never made up with each other. and then Max is rescued from being kidnapped by a younger version of Leon from before they met each other and its rough because this Leon is in a very bad spot and not doing well At All. hes almost a completely different person from who Max knew. and she has to convince him that life is worth living. she knows how the rest of his life will go already. she knows he'll meet her and be happy for a while. and she knows that this is the last time she'll ever see him again. and that she cant even say sorry to him now. and that he will never know what this meeting truly meant to her. its fucking heartbreaking and i ugly sobbed every time i read it. and then she dies gets plonked into a different universe (long story) and in this universe shes the one who died and Leon lived. now this Leon i absolutely love to bits hes so sweet and kind and caring. they both know how lucky they are to be given another chance and theyre not going to screw it up and they really do make it work between them.

theres do much more i could ramble about. like Dr Bairstow and Clive Ronan... or Dr Dowson and Professor Rapson and how those two are totally in love... or how Guthrie or the time Max got stuck in the past... but 14 books is a lot to cover fhshhf I'll leave you with the fact that i actually have a signed copy of one of the books which i am super super happy about !!

thank you for giving me the space to ramble <3<3<3

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 Hunter showed up now all dressed nicely and showered ‘he looks like he’d knock on my door to talk about the big guy. I like him..little shit’ ‘oh Ted. *starts shaking his head* this hurts a lot. Emmett come on baby, please get rid of him until he gets better. This is not okay. Oh fuck you Ted! WHY IS HE MAD THAT EMMETT IS SUCCESSFUL?! He deserves good things! WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME? This fucking finale for this fucking show better be good or im gonna be so fucking pissed at them for making me sad all the time’ ‘FUCKING TRUMP BITCH! WHY IS BRIAN HERE?! what the hell is going on? Oh he looks pretty. *looks at me and puts his hands up in defense* dont take this wrong but leather looks good on him. I mean he looks nice in suits but this *waves at brian in stockwells office* Bellissimo!! I like his hair, its all spikey and shit. OH FUCK YOU, you cant do shit for him! *does a little cheers to him with his soda* yeah! No apologies and no regrets. I should live my life like that too *long pause while he goes to get his pills in the kitchen* but i got anxieties bro. HE is offering BRIAN his job back? After he caught him fucking on his own troll posters? Oh he is SCARED!’ The Ted/Em party is on ‘this is killing me. Drugs are evil and so is that fucker! Ted come on! WHY IS HE BEING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE?! Emy baby, sugar, you deserve better please.’ ‘YES BRIAN! I KNEW YOU WERE SMART! EVEN THO FOR SOME REASON THEY MADE YOU DUMB IN THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON! *looks at me and pauses tv on Brian again* okay be honest.. could i pull off that type of leather jacket like him? Like that brown one is my new favorite thing. I want it. *points at me while continuing to watch ep* that b-t-w is what oxford dictionary would call a hint. Carl stop being stup- HES DEAD?! THE COP IS DEAD? Suicide? But he made sure to wash his car? What the fuck?’ *once again pauses tv on Em and looks at me with a big smile* ‘i think i have a new idea for a shirt (me: please no, youve done too much already) oh come on! Little mary go fuck yourself sounds hilarious. You’re no fun.’ ‘AW BLONDIE TOOK OU-HIS BOYFRIENDS ADVICE! Thats right Blondie! Gotta take care of your education so that you can be successful and be successful boyfriends with your succes-well currently unemployed boyfriend but oh well. THEY WANT HIM TO WHAT NOW TO WHO? Oh hell no! Absolutely not! Fuck you all.’ ‘Full offense but I wouldn’t allow this doctor mark or whatever to put a fucking bandaid on me. Emmett please im begging you leave him. You deserve way better. Ted *points at him* get fucking help. NO EMMETT NO YOU ARE NOT ANY TYPE OF TRASH FROM ANYWHERE! You dont need him! WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME?!’ Hunter was told to make a wish for something he wants more than anything ‘wanna bet that his wish was for Brian to fuck him? That’d be mine. Okay Mel is on my good side again.’ ‘ITS JUSTIN AND BRIAN AGAIN! *said with a goofy smile on his face* Brian cares so much about Blondie’s education, it’s actually adorable. I don’t think he cares about anything as much as him doing good in school and being successful. AH-DOR-ABLE! (Justins says sometimes you have to sacrifice everything for what you believe in) *stands up quickly* AND THATS WHY I SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO EAT A PICKLE! Because i believe I am way better than some weird allergy! (I go to say something and he immediately stops me) shhh- hold up, Brian is gonna do something cute. OH DAMN LOOK AT THAT KISS AND HUG! I was right. Put on the next episode, i already miss them’

Put on the next episode, i already miss them is the biggest mood ever

Uhh, remember what I said about hearing him wail all the way in CA? Well “this fucking finale for this fucking show better be good or im gonna be so fucking pissed at them” is making me more worried. Maybe you should have some fanfiction all pulled up and ready to go, just shove it in his face while he’s still crying.

The Ted and Emmett party is so so cringe and awful. Poor Emmy.

He wants Bri Bri’s leather jacket (Gale looks so good in leather) for christmas? From you? Oh lord.

I will take a Team Brian and a Little Mary Go Fuck Yourself t shirt when he sets up his etsy store.

I don’t think Justin’s “sometimes you need to sacrifice everything for what you believe in extends to your brother eating a pickle.

[chidoroki]

Tokyo Revengers S3EP1

aka: city wide brawling

So the OP song is the same as last season but the visuals changed? I'm not too bothered by it but I would've loved another great song. The boys already looking so good too. Very excited to see more of Smiley and Angry and hopefully I can learn their names properly now.

Aww, Emma looked so pretty in that one shot.

Oh, that one captain of Toman whom I dunno the name of.. does he switch sides? That scene of him getting up from the chair with that pissed off look on his face ain't giving me good vibes.

I'm like 95% certain that Inui eventually cooperates with us while Koko doesn't and that moment with the both of them with the former disappearing from the latter's side sorta reinforces that idea in my mind.

Oh, yup, that Toman captain (Yasuhiro. I was good and looked him up) joins Tenjiku, with Sanzu right behind him too I think. I guess I should've seen that coming, which means Toman loses its fifth division captain and vice captain.

This fight looks insane already. My boy Chifuyu putting in work, Inui looking so unbothered while kicking ass and Kakucho nailing Takemichi with a heavy hit oh my god.. and that moment of Izana running up on Mikey with crazy eyes is definitely creepy.

I try my best to avoid spoilers, honestly, but Mikey and Izana have some sorta history, don't they? like, family related or whatever. And I'm so not looking forward to what may happen with Emma, if it happens this season.

Anyways, lemme actually start this episode.. and we're starting right where we left off, thank god.

“Takemichty, your mind can't even begin to fathom me.” Bro, my mind can't comprehend you either and I hate it. How can Kisaki just jump around to different gangs and reach an authority status so easily, like the hell is so special about you dude?

Hanma riding in on a bike sporting purple leopard patterns.. what an icon.

YO! Mochizuki! Can you not drag my precious boy like that?? And toss him through the air like a sack of potatoes?? I hope Chifuyu kicks his ass during the upcoming battle.

Tenjiku is already brawling with Toman's second division somewhere else? That's Mitsuya's division, yea? Oh dear.

Ain't no way the twins come rushing in by running over all the Tenjiku members with their bikes!! Seeing Smiley all happy like that is hilarious!

Angry doesn't play around, holy shit, his punches are deadly!

Okay okay, so Angry is Souta and Smiley is Nahoya, but if even their intros call 'em by their nicknames I just might do the same, although that'll just lead me to forget their real ones quicker.

Ah damn, so the twins had beef with Mocchi way before their Toman days huh? Alright, either one of them can get revenge on that dude. That's fine.

The twins are insane but I love them already. Well, I know they've been around since the first season, but finally seeing them more is great.

“What if Kisaki can also travel through time?” I'm not completely certain about him but I do know Takemichi isn't the only one capable of doing so at least.

Oohhh Takemichi is through playing games. That's such an angry and determined face!

I know it won't ever happen, but the fact that killing Kisaki has never been brought up as a viable option to stop this chaos is incredible.

Yuuupp, I knew Mitsuya was involved in that brawl happening far away, but at least he's landing a couple nice hits on Mocchi.

Okay what the fuck Ran?? Knocking Mitsuya down with a damn cement block. What cheap stunt.

“Sorry about the cheap shot.” OH well at least he's self aware!!!

I've seen how loved the Haitani brothers are so I'm interested to find out why, though I don't think causing harm to Toman is ca contributing factor..

Mhhhmm I know nothing about Shion aside from this little scene that was teased in trailers but he's intense.. and apparently he was the ninth gen leader of Black Dragon. That's terrifying.

I got a feeling the info the twins forced outta those two Tenjiku dudes was just bait, because if Kakucho is there then that's certainly not good.

I mean, it's nice he sent the swarm of Tenjiku guys away, but I doubt Kakucho is gonna struggle fighting a 1v4 either.

“First Division’s Captain means you’re the toughest of all of you, right?” “Uh, actually, that’s not really true. He fights with his kindness, not his fists.” Glad Chifuyu said what everyone was thinking.

Crazy to think all these fights are happening everywhere between Toman and Tenjiku while Manjiro and Inaza are just chilling by the sea..

So.. they didn't already know each other? Odd. Perhaps they don't remember one another?

That punch of Takemichi's really knocked down Kakucho so hard he's having a serious flashback.. or Takemichi is anyways.

Wait a damn minute, they knew each other in second grade?? Hello???

“You were my hero.” Another one huh?

“Beware of a traitor.” Well thanks to the OP I got a hunch on who two might be. Maybe.

[punkscowardschampions]

JC & JJ

Janis: feels a bit patronizing to say I’m sure he’ll get the hang of it

Casey: he ain’t after my advice, patronising or nah, so he’ll have to

Janis: I mean, can’t blame him on that front

Casey: Libi can blame him all she likes when she gets a shit go of it off him

Janis: don’t, it’s so awkward, he really hates her right now

Casey: we tried hating each other, won’t last for them pair neither

Janis: they’re not like us

Casey: nobody is, girl

Casey: but any dickhead can see they fancy each other like mad

Janis: he doesn’t exactly have options

Casey: he don’t want them, more like

Casey: bollocks is he the only deaf kid in this country, I’m not having it

Janis: yeah but he don’t know any, she’s the only person he can speak to he ain’t related to, it’s ridiculous

Casey: he’s got a phone and a laptop, it’s an excuse

Janis: you know firsthand that isn’t the same, you need people in your everyday

Casey: he could find ‘em if he wanted to, every dickhead would be lining up to help him, her included

Janis: none of that makes it easy, every other kid can just show up to school and chat to anyone

Casey: never said it was easy, I’m saying they’re both dead comfy with how it’s been, they liked it being just them two, always have

Janis: yeah and look how it’s turned out

Casey: weren’t up to me, I’d have given him a hand with anything like that but I’m too much of an utter bastard to be bothered, what he reckons

Janis: there’s only one person that actually failed him but as per, he’s not around

Casey: *two, you need a man and a woman to crack on making a kid, last I heard

Janis: okay but I weren’t sparing her, just meaning it was him that moved you lot here and set nothing up for the kid

Casey: lived it, mate, I can work out what you meant

Janis: I just feel really bad for him, he’s isolated as fuck

Casey: same, but he’d only chuck that back in my face too if I said owt

Janis: yeah, it’s not a conversation he’s going to want to have with us

Janis: hopefully Jimmy

Casey: can hope, as per

Janis: do you think he really wants to move

Casey: why wouldn’t he, in his head at the minute fuck all to stay for, is there

Janis: be too easy a solution

Janis: if I was him, I would

Casey: no solution, in the end

Casey: but he’s a kid, can’t see that far

Janis: isn’t it

Janis: it could be

Casey: it wouldn’t fix Jim, what he’s really after, sod all is gonna just do that piss easy

Janis: true

Casey: might be a new start for him, yeah, they move to some weird little deaf capital of Ireland or whatever the fuck, but 

Janis: I know, I know

Janis: too easy to actually work

Casey: nobody’d love for them to piss off out of it more than me but that’s a fantasy

Janis: would you

Casey: make my life easier, him not round every 5 mins taking the baby off us, but like I said 

Janis: he don’t want it

Casey: I’ll take his word for it when she’s had her 18th, if and when he’s still unbothered

Janis: I’m just telling you what I know now

Janis: we never talk about it and when he has it’s to say that

Casey: and that makes loads of sense for now, his head’s fucked

Casey: one day maybe it ain’t and he’ll be there to take over how he always fucking does

Janis: his head was fucked when I asked him, he never wanted it and I did it anyway

Casey: no need to go back over it, I know what’s happened, I’m saying what might

Janis: I know him

Janis: we didn’t want this, any of it

Casey: so do I

Janis: marriage, babies, it’s all just stupid pretend

Casey: right now he can pretend all he likes, she’s not here, you watch when she is, won’t be able to help himself but take it all on, grow that chip on his shoulder

Janis: because I want that

Janis: just, stop calling it a she, you don’t know, it’s not nothing

Casey: don’t have a go at us ‘cause he’s a dickhead

Janis: but he’s not, he’s right, he can’t do this, I can’t, it’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever had

Casey: he can’t hack it, you’re not him no more than I am

Janis: yeah I’m worse, he was always better with them two

Casey: he babies them, she comes to you when it proper matters

Janis: not anymore, she trashes our flat and gets us kicked out

Casey: she can’t stay fuming for the rest of her life, I’d know

Janis: right

Casey: it isn’t gonna keep on like this forever, only feels as if it will

Janis: no, it’ll get worse

Casey: no it won’t

Janis: and what’s your fucking basis for that

Janis: we carry on doing the thing that has made them all end up how they are and they’ll just magically get over it

Casey: we didn’t turn none of them into nothing with this, fuck’s sake, if it was one thing I’d hold my hands up to it and have done, for no reason other but to shut you up

Janis: ask any of them what they reckon would fix this is

Janis: it isn’t us be together and bring a fucking baby into it

Casey: them saying it don’t mean it’s fucking right, they’re kids and he’s heartbroke along with everything he is else

Casey: us breaking up and you getting rid of the kid wouldn’t fix anything, same as it wouldn’t you going back to him with or without a baby

Janis: you wouldn’t say it would because it isn’t what we want

Casey: piss off, I wouldn’t ‘cause I don’t lie to you

Casey: what the truth is, is there’s loads of issues and they’re all massive

Casey: I told you, I’d do whatever to make him better, say letting you go would, I fucking would, it’d kill us but that’d be that

Janis: and I would too so I need to work out what that is, and if having a baby is going to make him worse then I won’t

Casey: I dunno what the fuck I’m meant to say to that

Janis: you don’t have to say anything, you already said it, might kill us but that’s that

Casey: I need to piss off before I say something, more like

Janis: yeah, fine

Casey: [don’t reply, boy, I don’t trust you, get away]

Janis: [just go down to that sofa and not sleep at all]

Casey: [such fun, try not to kill anyone at work please, be that a co-worker or customer]

Janis: [just here completely catatonic again lowkey, clearly you are asleep Jimothy lol]

Casey: [he would be, it’s alright for some, BITCH]

Janis: [we’re just here, both losing it, for your sake]

Casey: [literally, not at all casually the angriest and closest to being able to cry real human tears that he’s ever been, neither are suitable for being mid shift, instead find him here on autopilot whilst dying inside]

Janis: [sorry it just tracks as something you think you have to do because yeah, maybe it would be better for all of them, genuinely but you’re as per ignoring the fact it will kill you and Casey but hey ho, never said we had stopped that behaviour or we’d be healed]

Casey: [mhmm, and I could make a case that he shouldn’t be as ride or die invested in this baby as quick as he was but he is and there’s nothing I can do about it]

Janis: [people can’t help how they feel but we’ll always give it a good go, like yep, can totally just do this because it’s the ‘right’ thing to do for the family, ugh]

Casey: [I sure do wish Cammie’s mum had brought some of that energy because imagine if Janis had gotten rid of baby Jac purely for Jimothy and this fam’s sake and then that happens, I’d riot in the streets]

Janis: [soz but Bobby would have to be a full deadbeat dad because everyone would be triggered then like let’s just ignore, thank god you don’t get rid, obviously but damn]

Casey: [me here like do we post this or what because he’s not gonna say anything lowkey ever on this subject now]

Janis: [I’m gonna message but probably when he’s home or at least off shift if he has not gone home because well, as we know, she can’t do it]

Janis: you’re probably not there, or on the other end of the phone no more

Janis: but I’m going back to the flat, I can’t be here, I can’t do it 

Janis: I want to make it right for him but I can’t so I’m just going to hide it from him, I dunno

Casey: [the way I just know after that hellish shift he’s gone out with or back to the flat/house of mates he has not seen since before he got with his ex gf before jc got together, because what can you do but get absolutely wasted about what you think she’s going to do, so god knows when he would see this or if he even does until an o’clock whereby he’s coming home because cares about Chubby even if he’s in no fit state to look after him like a responsible dad, I might be really cruel and say you don’t see it at all because your phone has drunkenly been left at said house of friends you don’t even like anymore and you’re just coming in to your own, cue evil laugh, doing the thing really drunk peeps do where they try and be quiet but they are so so loud]

Janis: [at least this flat has a few more rooms so you aren’t fully in his line of vision when he comes stumbling in but then that’s worse ‘cos you’ve now either got to remain hidden or announce yourself and we all know you’re just sat on the floor in the nursery room, Chubby was probably at your feet before hearing Casey and running to go see him so you’re just stuck here like fuck my life]

Casey: [the absolute shambles of him almost blackout levels of drunk but trying to put a lead on this dog and take him out for a walk/piss would be funny if it wasn’t heartbreaking and terrible, because of course he can’t do it and he has to give up and just fall over wherever he is]

Janis: [the guilt and shame is actually crippling and we so badly do not want to get up despite how loud all of this is and Chubby is probably close to barking if he isn’t already on top of it all; but you have to, because it is all your fault and there’s nothing else you can do about that but face him, even if it is at first purely under the guise of opening the door and taking Chubby down to the courtyard to do a piss]

Casey: [at least you’ve intoxicated yourself to the point you don’t know what’s going on so they can just pass like ships in the night for that errand, nbd he’ll be here lying on the floor or whatever, tis fine]

Janis: [we will do our best to get you on the sofa if it’s possible, bring you blankets and pillows if it’s not]

Casey: [nothing remotely coherent coming out of this boy’s mouth, you’re gonna have to sleep it off for some hours before you are sober enough to then crawl into bed, glamorous of you sir but we won’t think of the Ian parallels and pretend it’s fine]

Janis: [so fine, you really shouldn’t go to work girl but of course you’re going to, dread to think the level of not there you’re going to be and how concerning that’ll look, leave him the usual painkillers, water and a note saying you’ve walked Chubby at whatever o’clock you did, probably in the AM and coming back at lunch too undoubtedly]

Casey: [Grace would literally be trying to force her to go home, but like she can’t really, Janis is an adult and making a big scene is unprofessional so she wouldn’t, I’m sure too that because she must know by now jc are a thing she’d message him like ?? come get her please I’m worried vibes but as we know he doesn’t have his phone and won’t til he goes to fetch it at whatever o clock he wakes up, p.s not taking those painkillers when he does because wants to feel like pure shit to match how he feels emotionally, just things these boys do]

Janis: [literally so soz to the other ladies who work here, at least we’re literally not engaging because that would be worse for y’all if we lost it but no, not good]

Casey: [Winnie says that I have to have him go get his phone see Grace’s messages, plus Janis’ obvs, and turn up at her work to get her for the PURE DRAMA, so that, Grace just shepherding them both somewhere away from all the customers ASAP like whatever this is please sort it because I’m beside myself]

Janis: [the bitches getting their nails did are just dying for that tea, I know it lmao, not today thank you, not today; the way we would be so SHOCKED to see him as if you were never going to see him in any state of consciousness again, truly are just being herded away because we don’t have the first clue what to say or even think with our total lack of sleep]

Casey: [him just being like ‘we’re going’ and literally dragging her out of this situation right now immediately after a single one of their checking each other over looks they do, excuse us everyone]

Janis: [giving Grace a final dirty look because dawning on us how unsurprised you were to see him so we’re like bitch you better not have got involved because you have NO idea lol; but still, gtfo of here and quick, doing the thing where your mouth moves to keep starting sentences but you don’t successfully make one until eventually ‘where are we going?’]

Casey: [‘home’ because monosyllables is all he can give her rn but where else because she needs to sleep and eat and probably cry and so many things that we’re not letting anybody else be a part of on this day]

Janis: [just nod because anything else is risky even though there are TOO many things to say and do rn]

Casey: [I’m sure you’re driving, even though you should not be, in in order to get there and back quicker so just drive and concentrate on that cos you’d have to with how bad you feel]

Janis: [we can see you still have a massive headache in the way you can when someone does because you lowkey have to squint and your whole face be very pained but again, like my boo said, just get in this flat before commenting on literally anything]

Casey: [just taking her shoes and jacket and whatever else outdoors clothes she has on off her before literally carrying her to bed, the glass of water she left him would still be there so then going to also put the kettle on and make her some toast or something, all without saying anything so it’s giving taking care of jj when they were both catatonic]

Janis: [we’re trying to get you to stop but we dare not touch you so we’re literally just saying ‘no, stop’ because we do not want this]

Casey: [but ofc he isn’t stopping until she has all the things and he can get into bed beside her finally because cannot stop until then, I need it to be noted that he has not made a cup of tea or toast for himself despite the fact he needs it as much, just heartbreaking things]

Janis: [just pushing this water and painkillers into his hands like take them now]

Casey: [do it because you can’t be a hypocrite forever hun and you can’t expect her to eat or drink anything if you don’t, will be pushing the glass back at her after he’s drank half of it though, like that half is yours]

Janis: [eating and drinking like this is literally the last thing we want to be doing but we will because it’s clearly what you want us to do so we have to show willing, passing you the mug when we’ve necked half because we are just forcing this all down because we hate it]

Casey: [likewise drink your half under extreme duress and then shut your eyes in that ouch headache way and just sit up like that for a minute, because clearly not having the time of his life either but hey ho, at least y’all are in the privacy of your own home now and not scaring Grace to death]

Janis: [letting him do this, obviously, before trying to say anything, but eventually ‘you couldn’t stand, I don’t know how you got here’ which sounds judgy but we’re literally just saying it like the fact it is because God knows]

Casey: [a shrug because he obviously cannot remember ‘he needed me here, I had no clue if you was or not’ with a gesture at Chubby who is probably by y’all’s feet, all this with his eyes still closed]

Janis: [not commenting on that ‘cos it would deffo sound judgy pointing out how little use you could’ve been to this dog and we don’t need to say that lol ‘no clue when you got here’ ‘cos the way you could give us no recognition you even know who we were was horrific]

Casey: [another shrug as if it’s casual and he isn’t absolutely CONSUMED by Ian comparisons from his childhood to teenage years just coming at him in the world’s most painful montage ‘you wouldn’t have fancied us knowing you were anywhere about’ because LORD, if he could’ve been coherent the things he would have said, and he knows that]

Janis: [‘yeah, I would have’ like do you not know me at all, the way our voice is so emotionless and monotone right now ‘it needs to be said’ matter of fact]

Casey: [opening his eyes and looking at her because hate this thank you, the flat voice is the absolute worst ‘don’t, alright’ in a way that in contrast to her, he sounds like he’s wincing because this is so painful and horrible]

Janis: [doing a soft sigh because no, it’s not alright but what are we going to do now, nothing, apparently]

Casey: [‘you need to sleep’ that sounds dismissive af me typing it but he genuinely cares too much and wishes she would for that to be the way that’s coming across here ‘talking can wait’]

Janis: [just getting up because however it’s said we are not going to and we are not interested ‘you sleep’ like that’s as much as we’ll concede to that you do and you can’t talk right now]

Casey: [the absolute peril of the way he’s going after her and trying to drag her back to and into this bed, don’t brawl please ‘I have’ because true, though it was a pass out it still counts I guess]

Janis: [‘then get up’ because no, we’re not going to bed, you can put us in it again and we’ll get up again because we’re not sleeping]

Casey: [the ‘fuck’s sake’ being the most exasperated and !! it has EVER been because this is not going his way and he wishes it would, soz hun, letting her go as dramatically as he was dragging her but a moment before]

Janis: [‘yeah, so we can go to sleep and do it all again tomorrow? Fuck’s sake is right’ at least this is not entirely monotone because we’re pissed off at how you’re trying to treat us like an invalid here and we can’t pretend otherwise because of our guilt any longer ‘we don’t talk about it, nothing’s gonna change, so-’ gesturing like tell me when you’re ready as we’re walking out into the living room/kitchen area to do whatever jobs we can muster up with this energy]

Casey: [following her and taking whatever she’s trying to do from her hands and throwing it down so !! whether that’s washing up or laundry or whatever like oh so that’s okay but sleeping isn’t I think the fuck not ‘I told you, I dunno what the fuck I’m meant to say’]

Janis: [‘fuck meant, for a start, what do you need to say?’ the way we’re not even reacting to whatever has been thrown because we do not care, Chubby I hope you’re outside in your courtyard or snoozing or something lol]

Casey: [‘I shouldn’t need to nothing’ again so !! because she knows how he feels about this baby and she always has, he is not sneaky and there has been no secret made about any of it]

Janis: [‘because that’s working well’ raising our hands up like for god’s sake because we’re not even thinking about the practicalities of the baby/abortion, we’re talking about the way we can’t keep ending up here ‘you can’t act like an emotional punching bag for me, it’s not healthy, I can’t do that to you, you can’t hack it’]

Casey: [‘who the fuck do you reckon I am?’ in disbelief like um yes I can hack it because I’ve been my mother and father’s emotional and sometimes physical punching bag thank you, that’s not okay, boy, but I see why it’s where you’re coming from]

Janis: [‘I’m not doing it, not making you worse’ because yes, none of that is aspirational I’m afraid and we cannot bear to do it to you or your brother]

Casey: [‘so what you doing?’ like okay, go on then, what’s your plan, sis]

Janis: [‘that’s what I reckoned we could talk about’ like why are we here otherwise]

Casey: [‘talk then’ like !! because would love nothing more than to sort this out obviously]

Janis: [giving you a look because feeling like it always has to be us that decides everything but we do have to start somewhere so fuck it ‘I can’t go through with it but I should leave until that stops being a possibility I could do, ‘cos I don’t see how I’m going to stop myself getting back there, thinking I should, ‘cos I should-’ doing a big breath because just spewing that out because it’s the only way to get it out]

Casey: [‘piss off out of his way or mine?’ because we need it to be clarified if she means leaving Jimothy or us before we can go any further here]

Janis: [‘yours, he doesn’t even know, doesn’t care-’ gesturing at him like !! because the state of you, respectfully ‘I ain’t going to do that for the next however many months’]

Casey: [‘you’re not gonna leave me for that long either’ because we simply refuse that scenario, I’m soz]

Janis: [‘not leave you leave you, we keep this place, you stay here and I’ll stay somewhere else until-’ sitting down on whatever is closest for you to do so and putting your head in your hands ‘cos you know it’s not a good plan but it’s the only one you have]

Casey: [‘you stay here with us or you don’t and that’s it’ like no no, firmly reject that terrible plan]

Janis: [‘then what, we don’t talk about it in case I bring it up again?’ because had that relationship, did not end well ‘I’m ruining your life with it an’ all now and I can’t hack it’]

Casey: [‘you’re breaking my heart ‘cause you’re breaking yours, it’s such bollocks and I’ll bring that up til I’m blue in the face, tell us why we should give up what we want for them? Give me a single decent reason when none of them give a single proper fuck about me’ the !! is off the charts because feelings are too high]

Janis: [staying quiet and looking at him for what probably feels like an age but in reality isn’t even as long as it took for him to say that but we’re processing it and taking it in, doing an imperceptible shrug ‘because we give a fuck about them’ sounding SO tired as we’re saying this because no, we don’t want to but that is the crux of it]

Casey: [‘you who said you wasn’t gonna do what he wants just ‘cause he’s suicidal, I remember reading it off you, what’s changed?’ because she did say that, I can’t remember the context whether he was like okay get back with him then or what but]

Janis: [‘and you who said you’d do anything’ because you’ve both said it both ways at this point, essentially, because it’s an impossibly horrible situation ‘fact is, I can’t, can I, clearly’ because would’ve spent the entire night trying to talk ourselves into it and we have not, our voice cracking on the clearly at the end there]

Casey: [‘neither can I, I were chatting shit, yeah I love him, but I love both of you more’ lowkey dragging her to this nursery room like remember when we were planning pre-hook up in here and how happy we were and everything ‘I’ll hack living with that easier than I ever would without you’ the plural you again there, killing me, like soz jimothy but]

Janis: [finally crying after not for that entire long night and then all of this long day until now, thus it is that really painful crying that makes your throat feel like it’s closing, your eyes sting and gives you that pain in your chest and a headache instantly ‘it’s growing inside of me, he’s going to have to cope that I can’t get it out’ literally just wailing that at you because just how we’re feeling at our core and we really are sorry but also that is valid as the mother, I’m afraid, lads]

Casey: [just cradling her instantly how he do, being comforting while she just gets all that out, including what she needed to say ‘I’ll drag him back this time, comes to it’ just literally saying that if jimothy cannot cope you will be on suicide watch like she had to for as long as necessary because they are a team and of course he would, fully giving her permission to have this child they both want, soz not soz]

Janis: [letting him cradle you and not caring how snotty and red and puffy you are right now and how hysterical you are because it cannot be helped ‘I’m sorry I upset you and I keep upsetting you and I don’t want to, I hate it so much’]

Casey: [‘it’s just ‘cause I want her’ with a sigh like oh I called her her again and you don’t want me to, oops ‘and I might be able to hack you doing what you said, much as I already love the idea of us being a family and that, were it what you needed to do, for you, ‘cause you couldn’t hack it, like my mum never should’ve had to, but I know it ain’t the same as what happened there, you can hack it and you want to, I felt that when we was in here’ referencing that moment in the hookup we all remember when she actually liked the idea of being a mum] 

Janis: [just nodding but again, still crying loudly so it’s very !! and dramatic like YES because we do want this baby but there is so much we are afraid of, that doesn’t mean it’s a no though ‘I just know what it can do knowing someone don’t want you’ like I don’t want that for this baby]

Casey: [holding her tighter automatically because fuck you Caleb, fuck you so much sir and no RIP for you ‘we aren’t gonna let this baby feel it, I’ll love the kid more than a whole school run’s worth of dads, I can do it’ the sincerity and absolute purity of that is making me wanna cry tbh, as per he’s so !!]

Janis: [clinging to him because we’re crying even harder because that’s just summed up exactly how you’ve been the whole time and we feel so bad we even considered doing this to you even though we all get why because it doesn’t just affect you two but you know ‘I won’t take her away from you’]

Casey: [holding her so tight she could suffocate give how hard she’s crying, so take that down a notch sir and rub her back and stroke her hair, things like that which are comforting and calming, but when she says that, doing all his would cry but can’t things SO much harder and more dramatically than they’ve ever happened before because the force of his emotion at that sentence he literally can’t not]

Janis: [even though you are very much being cradled and cuddled yourself, stroking whatever available skin of his you can because you can feel him essentially crying against you right now and you want to be comforting too from your safe position you are in right now ‘I promise’ so quietly but saying it over and over so you will definitely catch one between our hiccupping as we’re attempting to at least stop fully sobbing here]

Casey: [take a moment to essentially stop sobbing yourself sir and then we all know he’s kissing her so dramatically that it would look like a ploy to scare the shit out of her and stop her hiccups if the scenario was different because that’s how intense and !! it is, actually be careful that you don’t headbutt each other fr]

Janis: [good thing you’re both equally dramatic or you would be getting shooketh to your core right now in a totally different way to the way we are now, which is surprised but BEYOND overjoyed because we have missed you so much along with truly, truly thinking we had ruined it all there for a moment, so you’re being kissed back with as much !! as we ever have]

Casey: [that’s the most close to a breakup kind of drama we have caused y’all on this rewrite so far so have your insane makeout on this nursery, but actually an empty room, floor, absolutely love the state of them both and the fact neither of them care]

Janis: [when you can bear to leave any breathing room for any words, telling him how much you love him and that ‘I’m not taking any of it back’ like I mean and have meant everything I’ve said to you, ‘cos that’s the truth, you just get in your head about what you should do]

Casey: [likewise telling her how much he loves her and that ‘I’ll not let you’ because he knows 10000% now it is the truth without a shadow of a doubt and this is what she wants so if she was like sike he’d be like UM lemme just remind you of this moment babe]

Janis: [shaking your head in this makeout like don’t let me because we really do not wanna keep pulling shit like this, I get that it’s hard to be certain when truly nothing is in this mess of a life but it feels unfair and we don’t want to be this bitch, just here pulling him on top of you and squeezing him with all you got]

Casey: [doing the MOST dramatic pinky promise that anyone has ever done like I swear I won’t, almost breaking y’all’s fingers about it, before he’s then just on top of her and carrying on kissing her until they literally have no air left either of them]

Janis: [when it do hurt but that’s exactly what you need in this moment because it’s bringing you fully into it and your head cannot and will not be anywhere else and that’s how we want it]

Casey: [mhmm, you both desperately need this feral makeout because I did not lie about the fact he hadn’t seen her IRL in what would feel like forever because of getting Peach and everything before we then kicked this DRAMA off, I’m just so so happy he didn’t beat anyone up or go to his shitty father’s gaff again, getting that drunk really was the safest thing you could do there, boy]

Janis: [it would feel like a million years to you two anyway and then we really said we’re gonna blow your shit up on top of it being a solid two days nearly by the time you actually interacted so excuse us being nothing but blatant, y’all are always on that same page; but no, actually so much progress was made, boy and I wish we’d had time to say as much but the convo goes where it goes, she will have to say she’s proud later, we’re a little busy now]

Casey: [us once again being like y’all deserve to hook up, but soz it’s true, and she won’t be able to not sleep after at least for a little while because y’all are gonna exhaust yourselves with this]

Janis: [it really is and yes, we will be the definition of emotionally and physically exhausted, will fully pass out on this floor probably, we’re fine with that as long as this boy is here with us]

Casey: [Chubby will come bimbling in and lick your faces at some point I’m sure and then you can force yourselves to bed to actually sleep properly for a while longer, even if you get distracted by a sleepy makeout once you’re in bed, tiredness will win out]

Janis: [you’ll make it to your bed eventually, lads, you need to catch up on your sleep, even though all you wanna do is stare at and touch him]

Casey: [he’ll never stop touching her even when he is asleep, can’t be tamed when he’s this emosh, and if there ever was a time to sleepfuck when you’re both asleep/on the same level of being/not being it’s on this day]

Janis: [mhmm, Winnie says he demands it, it makes sense because you’re both craving feeling that close to each other, lowkey always, but especially right now when we could not love and need you more]

Casey: [mhmm, it tracks, and you’re gonna be devastated when it’s time for him to go to work if he’s going so, have all the nice things while you can lads]

Janis: [work is really getting in the way of y’alls drama and emotional dramatic lives rn but it is a fact, at least you could come with, if that’s something yous think is a good idea or no now]

Casey: [the levels he wouldn’t wanna and might just not go lol, I can so feel you getting sacked from this job, boy, it’d be great if you could wait until this baby is born or at least closer to being but]

Janis: [y’all have been messing around, you do have the time to turn it around if you wanna I feel without us taking liberties but that is only if you wanna and like lowkey, we know you don’t exactly lol]

Casey: [me like how are you gonna open your own bar or hotel with this attitude sir, but I jest, we’ve put you through a LOT from the second you got together, something’s gotta give, and if you do get sacked I don’t doubt you can find another clerb or pub job to tide you over til the baby is born, I was thinking maybe he should make a move to a day job anyway for a bit before he gives it up lowkey to be a stay at home dad til the kids are older because they’ve never been on the same schedule ever and that would be nice]

Janis: [that makes sense to me because you’ve had so much experience before and you’d just say you were going through a rough period if they ask about this gap, it’s not the end of the world if it happens and it’ll probably be a relief to have a break and then a fresh start; I agree it would be good for y’all to try that and like that could still be pubwork because that is why a lot of tourists are in Dublin if you worked in one of the ones in the centre, that can be a day job, or you could try something completely different]

Casey: [yeah I was thinking a pub because tourists and he’s never done that before because it’s always nights and clerbs so it’s something different but still something he’s familiar with and would feel like he could do, and if he really enjoys it, and I feel like he would, it makes sense that when the kids are older and he’s thinking about work again that he’d opt for like a bar or hotel vibe rather than straight up opening a clerb cos he never liked that as much lbr we know why he did it for so long etc but not the move]

Janis: [agreed girl, all makes sense to me; clubs wear thin when you’re no longer about that life yourself, like people are just at their worst, lbr]

Casey: [mhmm, anyway, soz that was a lil tangent, but as we were talking about him being a big dirty slacker re the job he has and only just got, I thought it made sense to throw those thoughts I’ve been having in, as we’ve established you’re simply not gonna go, y’all can just hookup and be in love and love upon Chubby all night, which is nice]

Janis: [you gotta enjoy it ‘cos realistically it must be Libi’s birthday and now Janis has gotta go do that on her own because Libi won’t want Casey there, Bobby won’t come, so Jimmy can’t lmao, not really in the mood hen but we must try and at least the Peach reveal and Jimmy having got you a present and letting you have Peach there will cheer you and him so it’s something lol]

Casey: [at least if she really didn’t wanna do that she could just lean in to the Peach reveal because Libi isn’t short of other family members she can be doing things with like cali and Billie and mcvickers etc etc, plus America and Violette plans were floated, so she’ll be as okay as she can be given that Bobby hates her atm lol]

Janis: [I feel like we would make an effort to though because I feel like you’re already gonna have to have an awkward convo with Jimmy like did you stay the night or nah ‘cos that would be confusing and we then don’t wanna add the oh also I can’t do Libi’s bday plans, so power through, it’ll be fine and she’ll appreciate it]

Casey: [valid, and y’all should try and build a bridge after the whole party and jc being made homeless thing cos don’t need Janis and Libi at each other’s throats for the foreseeable]

Janis: [mhmm, you can do it, we all know you’re distracted but that’s fine]

Casey: [thank god jc will only be not talking in a I’ll let you concentrate on spending time with the bday gal way not a are we about to break up or what way]

Janis: [me like where shall we pivot now then because literally all of those can and could be convos lol]

Casey: [chronologically we probably wanna do the JJ morning after convo of her being like soz I went home but I’m okay and I’ll see you later for the Peaches reveal, even if that’s just short af]

Janis: [okay let me go, actually, you better start ‘cos she was not up to starting it lol]

Jimmy: [okay so the AM because realistically he wouldn’t notice she’s not there til he wakes up for work unless this dog was being a real dick in the night which I doubt as she’s pretty chill, so probably around when she likewise has to get up, not knowing of course all the drama and that she has not slept etc]

Jimmy: 👍?

Janis: Alright, sorry I had to shoot off

Jimmy: Nowt to be sorry about, just checking you’re okay

Janis: yeah, you off to work?

Jimmy: in a bit, soon as the dog’s sorted 

Janis: how is she, any puddles

Jimmy: 😇

Janis: of course she is

Janis: um, I’ll probably bring Libi ‘round [a time that would clearly work for him with whatever we’re doing with her beforehand] if that’s alright?

Jimmy: Alright

Jimmy: gives us chance to put a 🎀 on her beforehand

Janis: hopefully they’ll both be buzzing about that

Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞

Janis: you must’ve slept well

Jimmy: Weren’t bad

Janis: you were sound when I checked on you

Jimmy: *When you came in to say you were off

Janis: actually I stayed on the sofa for ages, smartarse

Jimmy: What for? You didn’t fancy being there last I heard

Janis: had some thinking to do, I guess

Janis: or the dog had taken my side, take your pick

Jimmy: Sounds like her, that

Janis: must be then

Jimmy: You sure you’re alright, mate?

Janis: I’ll sort it

Jimmy: Okay

Jimmy: but you know if you need owt, I’m here

Janis: you don’t need to worry

Janis: but thanks, Jim

Jimmy: I’ll try my best not, how about that?

Janis: you have to, a bit all your fault so

Janis: least you could do for us

Jimmy: There’s me told

Janis: you know it, boy

Jimmy: Never were above nicking the deaf card to play when it suits us, my dear

Janis: you’ve got to behave

Jimmy: Or what?

Janis: you said you would

Jimmy: Don’t sound like me, that

Janis: 😴 sounds like you

Jimmy: Oi, you behave an’ all

Janis: I am, doing everything right

Jimmy: 👌

Janis: have a good day, dickhead

Jimmy: You

Janis: let’s not get carried away, Grace is already doing my head in and I thought I’d be the only one here this early 

Jimmy: We’ll both of us have a day then

Jimmy: leave it out as far as good

Janis: alright, can agree to that deal

Jimmy: 🤝

Janis: 🤝

Jimmy: [can leave that there, short and not very sweet lol, do we wanna do any Libi’s bday Peach reveal IRL as that’s the next JJ moment the following day or just vibe that it was an all around good time?]

Janis: [hmm, we can probably say that was just all around okay, obviously we’re all ignoring Bobby being in his room and not saying Happy Birthday to you but aside from that, it should be okay because we’ve resolved things with Casey by that point, y’all do need to talk about all this at some point but it doesn’t need to be then I don’t think lol]

Jimmy: [agreed, Bobby is being a massive party pooper and that’s heartbreaking for Libi but she’s still getting a dog and Jimothy will arrange painting her new room with her for an ASAP time that suits them both so it’ll make her happy af he wants her there]

Janis: [if you wanna just Libi at me after the fact even if it's just like yay thanks, we can do that to ref it from her POV, or we could do any other convo in the birthday vein but yeah, you need to express that you’re aware he doesn’t want this baby and you did try to not have it for the sake of his peace because that’s a massive thing to wanna do for someone but ultimately you could not and that’s gotta be respected]

Jimmy: [mhmm, we’ll let you have your bday first Libi but yeah, that does need to be addressed as like realistically the next JJ convo they have, I agree]

Janis: [otherwise you will still lowkey be mad and he doesn’t get why so that’s not productive or fair and we’re all trying here but yeah, down for whatever]

Jimmy: [I’m getting sleepy so I can’t think what to do next, Winnie tell me]

Janis: [well we can post this bit and go to sleep, decide what we wanna do whenever we’re next up lol]

Jimmy: [I hope it’s an okay number, cos yeah, probably should]

Janis: [it’s all good and even if we jump back in with something still v in this vein, this bit can still be posted, makes no odds]

Jimmy: [knowing us we’ll likely stay on this train but get this posted and we’ll see]

[theinstagrahame]

I initially wanted to go off on the weird disconnect between Republican policies and the Christian conception of "The Golden Rule", and how badly Christian Supremacy has skewed our perspective on politics, but the military budget thing feels more practical:

A thing that Congress does annually and routinely, which I don't think pisses enough people off, is budget *more* money to the military than it even asks for. By just shy of $100 billion on an average year. The US Military tells Congress "We need $X Billion to keep everything going, and finish all the stuff we want to complete", and Congress says "Okay. Here's an extra Hundred Billion, as a treat."

(I vaguely recall, but have never been able to find, an article about how the Military does not actually want this extra funding. As I understand it, the Military also already has vastly more hardware and supplies than it could ever actually need...)

It goes into the annual US Governmental budget, which means even when it comes from Republicans, everyone votes for it. With a handful of exceptions, Democrats usually back it, because the alternative is nothing gets funded.

As a step to radicalization, that's not a bad one for folks on the fence. Especially to anyone who's ever benefited from one of the many public services that Republicans keep trying to cut. Imagine what we could do with roughly $100 billion, if instead of giving it to the military, which doesn't need it, we invested it in people at home who do. Many of the programs people *need* cost at most tens of millions, not billions.

And if you want to get a start doing something about this? Write your senators. Send 'em a fax (seriously). Give them a call, if you've got the spoons and the extroversion. If they're one of the handful who vote against the military budget increases, thank them for it. If they're one of the people suggesting it, tell them that as a constituent, you oppose it.

(By no means am I saying we stop there with defunding the military, but it's a small start that--when I've brought it up in political social media threads--hasn't ever gotten any pushback. People ask me what I'd do differently about the budget, and I tell 'em that's step 1, and weirdly almost nobody ever had a problem with it.)

[pacifymebby]

what about peaky blinders and a reader who isn’t afraid to answer them and behave boldly?🔥

thx

Tommy

🌿The first time you snap hes stunned, and tbh he's never not stunned by your sudden temper. The way you defy him... Hes not used to not getting his own way.

🌿Tells you all the time he has rules for a reason but he just cannot tame you... Youre a disobedient little lady and he cant get his head around you

🌿Its not that youre just plain old badly behaved either, its that youre contrary. If youre feeling like arguing you'll pick a fight over anything and youre stubborn, sometimes he thinks he more stubborn than you.

🌿Hes absolutely never hurt you, never hit you, but if you need bringing back down to earth he wont hesitate to pin you against the wall or force you down against his desk, hold you by your neck or your hair and threaten you till the cows come home.

🌿But he despairs because nothing seems to work.

🌿"Fuck your rules, fuck your threats, fuck you Tommy fuckin Shelby!" "Now you listen to me alright sweetheart, don't you fuckin swear at me eh, you dont fuckin swear at me..." "Fuck..." you narrowing your eyes, challenging him.

🌿Youre basically always asking for trouble, you get a kick out of pissing off the most dangerous man in birmingham, knowing he'll never actually do anything to hurt you.

🌿He does absolutely love watching you stand up to his brothers, or to anyone else for that matter. It might piss him off when you do it to him but he's ever so proud of you when you tell one of his brothers to "shove it" or "get fucked"

🌿He'll pretend he isnt going to let you get away with it but it will be so blatantly half hearted that his brothers will know hes enjoying their suffering and that will rub salt in the wound. "Now now love, dont be rude to my brothers, they aren't used to young ladies answering back to them..."

🌿But he does have rules and he is determined you'll learn em.

🌿"mutual respect yeah, you and me? We respect eachother don't we..." he'll make you say it, thats how he puts you in your place, "Go on say it back to me love, so i know you mean it," hes got his hand on your throat or holding your chin so youre forced to look at him. Sometimes you do as he says, sometimes you make to spit at him and he has you flipped over his shoulder in seconds.

🌿There are some things he wont put up with.

Alfie

🐻Is shocked, its usually him doing the talking, usually him being clever and snarky...

🐻 But when he tells you youre not to talk to Tommy Shelby hes stunned to hear you say, "I talk to whoever i want,"

🐻 His way of dealing with you is different to Tommy's. He calls you over, gets you to come and sit in his lap and then he holds you there, trailing his hands over your body, playing with your hair, all the while giving you a little speech about why he's telling you not to speak to him.

🐻 "What you have to, no need to understand ziskeit, is that me yeah, i dont just give orders willy nilly for no reason yeah, if i ask you to do something, or tell you not to do somethin - as is the case right now - it's probably, no definitely, its definitely because its for your own good treacle, yeah thats right, for your own good..."

🐻."and you see yeah, if i tell you y/n youre not to talk to Tommy Shelby, its cause i know somethin, or maybe lots of somethins yeah, that you don't about Tommy Shelby... And maybe i, being absolutely devoted to you my little ziskeit, just want whats best for you..."

🐻"Only i get to decide whats best for me A..."

🐻 "Tsk tsk," puts his finger to your lips, looks you right in the eyes, "let me stop you right there treacle," you only get called treacle when youre in trouble and right now you're on thin fucking ice, "let me stop you right there sweetheart because i wasnt finished, no i wasnt, see the other thing you need to know right, the other thing, is that when i ask you to fucking do something, you fucking do it... Cause if you dont do it and then somethin happens to you like ohhhh i dont know, say a very bad and dangerous man with evil running through his heart like rot runs through a decomposing fuckin apple... Let's call him Tommy Shelby right? If a very bad man like Tommy Shelby ends up fuckin catchin you in his satanic, godless little web... Then well, i ain't helpin you am I? Cause well, i will have fuckin warned you... "

🐻The man can talk the fear of god into you and honestly, its the only way he can get you to behave.

🐻Because he doesnt hit women, he would never touch you or physically hurt you. And he also doesnt mean it when he says hed abandon you, hes only trying to scare you into submission because he knows he'd kill himself to save you and that would only work once.

🐻 He likes hearing you answer back and put the boys in their place, whenever any of the lads in the bakery say something innapropriate of try to tease you you put them in their place pretty quick.

🐻Alfie likes to join in then "Whats the matter lad, scared of a girl now are you? Fuckin hell kids these days, worlds gone bloody soft..."

Arthur

🍂You snap at him because he snaps at you. You fuckin hate men who shout at women

🍂 So when arthur shouts at you you shout right fuckin back and shit does it scare him. He isnt expecting it for one, but more than that, hes never had a woman shout at him like that before.

🍂 You only slapped him once, and it was because he fucking deserved it. He got all up in your face barking bloody orders at you, it was after some serious peaky business had gone sour and to be honest, he was scared. Wanted to communicate just how serious the situation was...

🍂But he scared you, and again, he shouted, he was so close to your face he spat at you when he spoke, and you saw red.

🍂 So you slapped him, and it shut him up but then all hell broke loose.

🍂 He grabbed you pretty forcefully, snatched the breath from you, holding your collar in a fist. You saw the whites of his eyes, he was so angry

🍂 "That was fuckin out of order sweetheart, you dont fuckin hit people do ye? Do i do that to you do i? Have i ever fuckin laid a finger on you? Eh? Have i?"

🍂 You regretted it imediately but you were also kind of proud you did it. You werent just going to let him bully you.

🍂"What kind of a world would it be if we all went around fuckin hittin eachother all the time eh?"

🍂 "sounds a lot like the world youre already living in Arthur..." the fact youd answer him back with such a cheeky remark even now has him drop you hes so shocked.

🍂 Hes used to everyone being terrified of him, even his brothers know not to piss him off or get clever with him, but here you are at the height of his temper making comments like that, and with a smirk on your lips and all.

🍂 "Right sweetheart, im going to give you one last chance to apologise to me alright... Youve got till i say 3...one, two..."

🍂 "I aint apologising for nothin Arthur, you dont scare me..."

🍂 Its not true, he does, he terrifies you sometimes and right now when his breathings ragged and hes red in the face, yeah he terrfies you..

🍂 But you wont admit that, not ever and theres something about your brave tone and the determined defiant look in your eyes that really turns Arthur on...

🍂 So you fuck, thats how he deals with your defiance, he takes his anger out by fucking you fast and rough.

🍂 Its also the only way he'll ever get an apology out of you.

John

🌼 Doesnt like it, doesnt sit right with him being spoken to like that by a woman, its not right.

🌼 But does he get off on seeing you speak like that to other men? So much... Especially when its classic authority figures like the police. He also loves to hear you knock Isaiahs and Finns cocky smirks right off their faces.

🌼 He likes defending you but he doesnt half admire the fact that you dont need him too.

🌼But it does annoy him when you then tell him not to defend you. Hes your man, its his job to defend you. Especially from other men.

🌼His favourite thing about your quick temper is the way you talk to Linda... Linda likes to make plenty of snide comments about you, your class, the fact that you swear and take the lords name in vane. The fact that you're fucking a gangster out of wedlock. Shes always telling you that you live in sin and youre always telling her where to shove her bible.

🌼The number of times he hasnt been able to stop himself laughing out loud when youve snapped back at Linda. He fucking loves it, and he encourages you too, telling you how fantastic it was later when youre away from everyone.

🌼He doesnt like it when you snap at Tommy though, John is scared of his older brother, he knows Tommy wont stand for your defiance and so hes always begging you not to start anything with tommy. For the most part you oblige but every now and then when you think somethings unreasonable...

🌼John finds himself having to make excuses for you, apologising on your behalf cause you sure as hell won't do it.

🌼 Especially because usually when you snap at Tommy its because youre trying to protect John from risking his life in another Tommy scheme.

Bonnie

🍀 Bonnie doesnt have many rules for you and he isnt one to go ordering you about. He only asks that you look after yourself, that you dont go getting yourself into any trouble.

🍀And that you stay away from the peaky blinders, you dont interfere with him and his dads business with them

🍀And thats where you just can't oblige... Your curiosity gets the better of you for a start, you want to know who your mans getting involved with but more than that youre worried.

🍀You care about bonnie deeply and so you want to know everything about his work so that you can best learn how to protect him.

🍀If you get cheeky with him its probably over something lighthearted. Bonnie doesn't really have a temper for taking out on you, if youre arguing he tends to let you say your piece but he wont rise to it.

🍀"Am only telling you not to get involved because i love you little dove, cant have you getting hurt... Dont know what id do if anything ever happened to you... Thats why i tell you to stay away... Cause i love you," he tells you this whilst cupping your face in his palm, kissing your forehead.

🍀 And because of this you dont really argue at all. Unless youve put yourself in harms way, then he maybe has some sharp words for you, they're just a fuelled only by concern for you though. Hes a gentle soul.

🍀He does adore your witt and sharp tongue though, loves it when you give as good as you get from the other boys at the settlement, loves to hear you answer back the adult men and women too.

🍀Youre so wild and it balances his calm/gentle nature.

🍀 Its even more entertaining when hes training at the boxing gym, when his teachers being a miserable bastard, laying into Bonnie purely because hes a gypsy boy, sometimes youll snap at him in english so he can understand, but sometimes youll say it in romani so that only you and Bonnie can know what youve said.

🍀Bonnie laughing, gleeful and proud because you can be so brutal, and because youve really pissed his teacher off. When the old man demands he tell him what you said Bonnie will only occasionally translate, sometimes he'll just repeat what you said in romani again. Therell be steam practically coming out the old mans ears.

🍀One day Tommy catches what you've said and then you and Bonnie both get into trouble, you both feel like school children being reprimanded. But even tommy has a soft spot for you, he found your romani insult entertaining too.

🍀 Sometimes bonnie likes to remind you of your bad behaviour when youre havibg sex, he likes to tell you how cheeky you are, how youre gonna get yourself into trouble if youre not careful.

🍀"With who? You?" "Are you testing me little dove?"

🍀 Your temper has causes real trouble before, you talked back to a man in the garrison and he raised his hand to hit you. Bonnie cut in the second he saw what was happening.... Hes not a boy who has a temper until someone threatens you...

🍀Even if you were asking for trouble.

Isaiah

🐀Doesnt like that you talk back to him but does like that you talk back to other people. Its a tricky situation and he doesn't know how to deal with you

🐀It would be a shame to tame you when you bring him so much entertainment, but he also cant stand it when youre rude to him

🐀Feels like it threatens his manhood when he lets you get away with answering back or defying him

🐀So he doesnt let you get away with it, he has plenty of ways to punish you when youre bad... Most of them sexual.

🐀The problem is, hes such a cocky bastard and sometimes that just gets under your skin and rubs you up the wrong way.

🐀"dont see why i should have to take orders from you, youre no Tommy Shelby..."

🐀Saying stuff like that reallyyyyy riles him up, it wounds his ego, it pisses him off.

🐀You get yourself in trouble with him so much but you like the being in trouble, you get your kicks from watching his temper flare.

🐀Kind of likes that youre rude to him sometimes because it gives him an excuse to put you over his lap and spank you.

🐀It causes problems for him when you're rude to Michael, not so much because Michael would hurt you but because Polly wouldn't hesitate to smack you. And it has happened before.

🐀Isaiah actually found himself on your side, stepped in to stop her doing it again. When he checked you over after taking you away somewhere you could be alone, he grinned at you, congratulationed you on putting michael in his place, "he can be a right smug git sometimes, deserved what you said to him,"

🐀Mostly he likes that youre a little wild and unpredictable, the problem is so is he... So you lead eachother to take risks when you shouldnt.

🐀Loves to fuck the defiance out of you, "think you're clever do you, answer me back, breaking the rules... Think you're a clever girl huh y/n?" "Still feel fucking clever now?"

🐀Will bend you over the bed and fuck you witb your face pushed into the mattress, spanking you too until you finally say youre sorry and promise not tk disobey him again.

🐀But both of you know that you will, its like you just cant help yourself.

Michael

☘️ "No, fucking no... You don't talk to me like that y/n you just fucking dont..."

☘️He wont stand for it, he hates that you dare to challenge him. It pierces his delicate ego and it reminds him that he'll never be as authorititave as Tommy.

☘️ "Im your fuckin husband and youll show me some fucking respect..."

☘️ "What about your respect Michael? Do i get to have your respect?"

☘️ He is constantly telling you to behave yourself but he cant tame you. He knows deep down he'll never be able to and he also wonders whether hed still be attracted to you if you were meak and completely submissive. Wouldnt that bore him?

☘️Spanks you, it goes against his morals to hit a woman but once, once you really crossed a line and he raised his hand to you... He never actually hit you but the intent was there and the moment he caught himself, stopped himself, he felt terrible.

☘️ "What? You gonna hit me Michael? You gonna hit a girl? Some man you are eh..." youd spat at him, completely defiant, even with his hand raised to strike you youd been confident enough to look him dead in the eyes and continue to chastise him.

☘️ Polly kind of admires you for not taking any shit from Michael, she'd have raised her son to respect women if she had had the chance to, so shes glad you stand up for yourself. Its the only way to survive in the Shelby family.

☘️ Michael doesnt like it when you defy Tommy, when you question him and argue back in family meetings. It embarrasses him, thinks it makes it look like he cant control his wife... But he cant control his wife.

☘️ He takes his anger with you out on you during sex but honestly you love that and it just makes you want to push his buttons even more.

☘️Youve even brought it up in an argument... "Why whatre you gonna do to me Michael, if i swear at you one more time what will you do? You gonna fuck me are you? You gonna fuck your wife until she fuckin cries? Go on i double dare you..."

☘️ You end up with bruises.

[hakkais-hoe]

Love your aggressive s/o x Bonten headcanons lol

If possible can we get a version where they find out the only freaking reason she's so aggressive is because she's literally hungry and sleepy... Like all the time? Like she'd need food in her hand 24/7 and constantly eating something (or napping) in order to not go off on someone for breathing wrong for more than an hour lol (you can ignore this if you'd like idc I just think it's hilarious to see them with what's essentially the equivalent to a pissed and grouchy cat lol)

Bonten x reader with hanger issues n a food complex.

'm glad ya liked em :)

love this idea too

Warnings: swearing, blood, fighting, gun references, drug reference (sanzu ofc).

Bonten: Mikey, Sanzu, Koko, Ran, Rindo, Kaku.

Mikey-

finds you rummaging through your bag after a fight

after you come back with nothing from it and a sour look on your face he cant help but ask

"What's up with you now?"

notices your similar to him after he hasn't had a snack for a while

if you ignore he'll leave you to your little tantrum as usual

after a long bonten meeting you're sat drifting off in your chair when someone bursts through the door

you do one of those freaky slow look ups a glare as cold as ice on your face

"You're really gonna come shouting in here n wake me up you fucker?! I'm fucking tired and hungry af n you have the balls to do this shit. I'm gonna cave ya head in dickhead."

'oh' Mikey knows exactly what the problem is now

he grabs a dorayaki out of his stash n throws it to you

you grumble a bit before going silent and munching on the treat

promptly moving to a couch and taking a nap

from then on Mikey keeps extra snacks for the both of you and you take regular naps in his office, sometimes with him.

your aggressive little attitude seems to get a lot better which keeps the rest of the executives calm.

Sanzu-

tbh i don't think he'll realise, he likes it when you're a bit psycho n that

takes Takeomi or Mochi telling him that you seem calmer when you have snacks for him to realise

straight up asks you

"Soooo you got like a food complex or something babe? Cos I get it I get antsy when I don't have a pill for a while, I can get those food supplement drugs if ya want love."

like boy no who tf wants ur shitty drugs

"I want snacks motherfucker not some boring ass supplements, actual food n several naps a day."

our boy only gets it when you spell it out n will buy you all the snacks n food you want

also keeps a blanket n pillow in his office so you can take a nap with him

watches you sleep like a creep can't lie

whips random snacks out when you get n attitude during meetings

loves it when you have a little anger tantrum cos you wanna nap n lets you drag him down onto the couch to use him as a pillow

probably can't sleep cos of the drugs but good effort

"Think you should take a chill pill on the drugs, love."

"Which one's that is it in my bottle? Is it a downer? They're boring baby."

sir you have a problem >_>

Kakucho-

chances are he already clocked it after the first few times he saw you beat a bitch then walk straight into a shop n buy snacks

wont actually mention it he just makes you take scheduled naps under the pretence that he needs one

will gently massage your kneecaps during meetings when you start to get grumpy

pulls random snacks and drinks out of his pockets

tries to keep you calm all the time

practically throws a blanket at you when you get ratty

will bundle you up even in meetings n make you take a nap on his lap

human burrito

very devoted to looking after you

will let you fight when you're really angry but prefers to keep you as docile as he can

"Love, enough. C'mon come sit down wit me and have a snack leave that piece of shit there."

ur surprisingly obedient when he's waving your favourite snack at you

Kokonoi

honestly he just thinks you're a bit nuts plus you spend too much time with sanzu according to him

most of the time he just lets you do your thing n he doesn't get involved

only realises that there's something odd when the Bonten executives plus the boss go out for a meal after a meeting

you're silent for once n you even seem calm as you practically bounce in your seat with all the food in front of you

once he realises that you're a lot calmer with food he offers you his

will send someone to buy snacks as soon as he sees a hit of aggression coming from you

you fall asleep on his shoulder later in the evening

Koko adjusts you slightly to keep you comfortable

hears your light muttering about nonsense

he ignores the conversation that all the executives are having in favour of listening to you sleep talk

he can make out your quiet words at some points which cause him to chuckle

until you mutter about how much you love him

an unusually soft smile on the both of your faces is there until late into the night

tries to make you take naps often after that just so he can listen to you sleep talk

feeds your grumpy self often he orders some expensive snacks just to see your reaction.

Rindo-

if you think this cocky shit would ever question your angry self you have another thing coming

he enjoys watching you beat the living daylight out of anyone

coincidentally brings you some snacks during a meeting one day

usually you'd be snapping and threatening to fight sanzu by now but you're silent for once

he stops listening to Kaku's report to observe you n notices that you're only silent cos ur stuffing snacks in you mouth

"Uh babe? Did you actually just calm down cos I brought you food? If I'd known it was that easy I woulda brought you a whole ass shop."

"Mhm buy me a whole convenience shop n I'll marry you."

the boy definitely does a Koko n buys you way too much to keep in his office and your apartment

please let him pamper you

he realises that he enjoys your happy food enjoying self more than the little psycho you usually are

comes into every meeting with food

when you sleep on his office couch n wake up even calmer than with food he encourages you to sleep more

buys an expensive ass weighted blanket for his office

bless him he heard that they keep people calm from Ran

sometimes sits at the couch reading paperwork with your head on his lap

strokes your hair to help you sleep better

"Love ya Rin..."

your sleep talk is his favourite thing

Ran-

already knew

this man is very aware of everything you do

he may seem lackadaisical but he knows everything that you like and everything that keeps you calm

he plays it off as a coincidence that he started bringing snacks 3 weeks after you started

when he figures out your favourite he keeps them in his office 24/7

also like Rin he has a giant weighted blanket in a cabinet for you

has it out as soon as you come into his office

leaves it so that you can wrap yourself up in it when you're both going through paperwork

you ofc inevitably fall asleep in it

your boyfriend gets you all comfy and lays down with you for a quick nap

he wakes up wot you gently brushing his now messed up hair away from his face

you seem gentle and calm for once as you smile down at him

"Hi handsome. Did you have a nice nap?"

he's shocked ngl

falls in love with you all over again

"You look like an angel my love."

pampers you and makes you sleep a lot in his office just so you can wake up and be calm with him

he wants all your calm attention

will still cheer you on when you have a "tantrum" as Rin calls them

[nice-myriad]

Y'know what? I'm gonna talk about some of my Heather Duke headcanons because you can't stop me. 

Heather needs glasses. Like, she really needs glasses. Girl sits in the back during every class (because of course she does) and cannot read the board at all. She owns glasses but rarely wears them. 

She really only ever interacts with the other Heathers and ‘Ronica. She just... doesn’t care enough to interact with other people all that much. If your name isn’t Heather or Veronica, then uh, piss off. Heather wants to read/silently judge people from across the room/avoid doing her classwork in PEACE. 

She's one of those people that pass out on roller coasters and slingshot rides. The first time it happened, she was with Mac and Mac did not notice until one of Duke's limp hands smacked her in the face.

Her favorite book is, of course, Moby Dick, but Catcher in the Rye and Frankenstein are high up on the list.

(Pretty much the only books Heather reads are what you'd find on the required reading list for most high schools).

Heather hardly ever listens to music. She doesn't care to.

Duke and Chandler’s friendship started off in a pretty good place. They clicked almost instantly. It started falling apart in eighth grade and was a complete mess by second semester of freshman year. 

She has nightmares fairly regularly. As in, more often than she doesn't. Thanks, anxiety and stress <3

She used to call Chandler “Chan”. Y’know, when they were actually close. 

She used to call McNamara “Em”. Y’know, when the—okay, she does still call her that sometimes. 

Duke is ace and bi.

Also, trans. You can pry that headcanon from my cold, dead hands <3

Between her, Heather, and Heather, her family is the least rich. Still kinda loaded, tho.