#and thanks for being on this bus with me singing a perfect moment into the universe

[itslucyhenley]

ted lasso finale thoughts that i needed to type out for myself

did i hate the finale: no

did i love the finale: no, but i liked it and series finales are rarely going to be your favorite episode of your favorite tv show in my opinion. but also, i’m 39 years old and i’ve been through the wars in fandom and shipping and i can’t bring myself to hate the things i mostly love.

do i think that ted going back to kansas was wrong: no. the combination of all that made ted ted throughout and the fact that he was away from his son was a cognitive dissonance with his character from the start imo.

that being said, do i think ted’s story would have been more interesting if he made some big discovery about himself before leaving: yes. if they built off of his total football hallucination and made him discover his bisexuality at the end, yeah i think that would have been much more interesting and i’m not just saying that as a tedtrent girlie from the start. did they do what a lot of endings do which is to cover the camera lens with vaseline blurring the edges of the story and make a lot of the final emotional moments happen in montage, yeah they did that and i can’t be mad at them for wearing their rose-colored glasses to create the ending of a project they all loved and invested themselves in so much.

but in conclusion: idk we got what we got, and i’m ok with it and i really love what the show was striving to do overall for the run of it and i think they achieved that in an imperfect way. they swapped sports-story tropes for rom-com tropes and they never, ever let up on that the whole way — and i think showing that’s possible in a popular show is going to be one of its biggest legacies. there were episodes and sometimes just moments that i felt were so perfect and will live inside my soul forever, regardless of how the show ended or if i felt just ok about some parts of the ending or if my opinion of it shifts over time.

on a personal note: this show coincided with pandemic depression and uncertainty as well as a few very personal life things for me and i’m a little sad to let go of my tv comfort blanket and navigate through an abundance of negativity in my internet spaces — so i might take myself out of this particular fandom space just for a bit to preserve my sanity, cuz that’s the most important thing, so if you’ve made it this far down in the post, take this as a sign to take a break if you feel like you need to. and if you, my TL/tedtrent friends, ever need to talk about anything at all just reach out. i’m here to talk or listen or whatever ♥️

anyway i will be on the lookout for trent gifs and the beautiful fan art you all create and fan fics where tedtrent happens over and over again in every different way because that was always the best of my experience on here anyway —

and lastly: jimmy lance you have changed my brain chemistry in a way i wasn’t expecting from the portrayal of a tertiary character and i will be here for your career forever and a day.

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Hate your guts (pt 1)

~ this fic is my Christmas gift💙 i'm dividing this into two parts bcs tumblr is shit

pairing: rockstar!hyunjin x rockstar afab!reader

genre: enemies to lovers, fluff, smut

wc: 26.6k

synopsis: hwang hyunjin, your sworn enemy. the person who finds and pushes all your buttons, annoys you and makes you angry. the person you're trying to avoid so badly, only to end up practically sharing a bed with him on tour. let the fun begin!

warnings: lots of swearing, smoking and alcohol, mentions of blood and throwing up, mild violence, multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, oral (f and m), fingering, handjob, semi-public sex, spanking, creampies, mix of degradation and praise

a/n: thank you @frehyun for helping me come up with a name for hyunjin's band💕 also a thank you to @jehhskz @moonchild9350 and @hyunebunx for giving me suggestions, listening to me yap and being supportive while i was writing this🥹🩷🩷🩷 title is inspired by inji, go listen to her music🫶🏻

a little ramble: feel free to skip this! but i just wanted to say that this was supposed to be done sooner cause i had other fics planned out to write but work got in the way. so i wrote this fic whenever and wherever i could; hiding in the bathroom at work, during my break, at the bus station, at 3am when i couldn't sleep etc... it's been a ride and i'm proud of how it turned out, hopefully y'all enjoy it too🥹🫶🏻

“...And do you look into the mirror to remind yourself you’re there? Or have somebody’s goodnight kisses got that covered? When I’m not being honest, I pretend that you were just some lover…”

It was a perfect but short moment.

The fresh breeze coming into the car where the window was opened just a little was enough to give you some air but still managed to hide most of your face from the outside world. 

The music in your ears was loud, so loud that you were drowning in it, the warm and comforting voice, the melancholic guitar riff in the background, and the gentle sluggish drums putting it all together into a song that made your eyes water.

You tuned everything else out as this was the only moment of peace you were going to get today.

You needed every shred of sanity you could gather, and you were determined to hold onto it as much as you could.

Because today, you had an interview with him.

Hwang Hyunjin.

Oh, the name you know so well.

Even thinking about the way it sounds makes you feel angry.

It seemed as if his life mission was to find every single button of yours and push them repeatedly until you exploded like a ticking bomb.

Your mind wandered as you thought about him and how much his existence angered you, your stomach turning into knots.

Or maybe it was just pre-interview nerves.

No matter how many times you talked in front of the camera, it always made you feel anxious and jittery.

Being on stage was fun, there was no anxiety there as whenever you would step on it and see all the people cheering for you and singing along to the music you and your friends wrote, your heart felt full, your soul elated. 

It was an exhilarating feeling you couldn’t even begin to explain to someone who’d never experienced it.

Every concern in your head, every ache in your soul, every tear behind your eyelids threatening to spill got erased when you gave yourself to the stage.

If you could, you would definitely try to avoid the interviews and just perform.

But your record company had other plans.

Being the only up and rising all girls rock band in the company meant that you needed promotion, and what better way to promote than to collab with the only boy rock band in the same company?

Hwang Hyunjin’s band.

Yes, you couldn’t wait for this day to be over.

“Y/n!” you were shaken out of your thoughts, as your manager pulled at your headphones.

“What?” you almost snapped at her, startled by her antics.

“You were staring off into space and muttering angrily about Hyunjin. Something like ‘poke his eyes out’ and ‘conceited dick’.” Ana giggled, covering her lips with her hand as you rolled your eyes, realizing that you’ve already arrived at the building for the interview.

“I’m sure you find all this amusing. But I am not amused at all. Last time I had an interview with that... bastard, everyone thought we were dating and started shipping us.” you recoil at the thought. “I would never date someone like him.”

“Oh y/n, lighten up! You know there will always be rumors of all kinds. The dating rumors are the least harmful ones, trust me. Just act like you’re besties with Hyunjin, for an hour tops.”

You take a deep breath in, then sigh.

“I am a professional. I will do this right.” you nod with a determined tone as Ana bumped her fist with yours.

“That’s the spirit!” your manager smacked your thigh happily as you yelped, making her laugh before she exited the car.

Since you were in the underground parking lot, there was no press around so you walked out of the car freely, going directly to the elevator that would take you to the reception.

Ana pressed the button when you walked in and just as the doors started closing, someone’s combat boot was pushed between the silver doors, stopping them and making them open again.

Your eyes traveled up from the boots, to the tight leather pants and the skimpy tank top revealing a tattoo sleeve, right to the face you hoped you won’t be seeing for at least another ten minutes.

Hyunjin had an obnoxious smirk dancing on his lips as he looked down at you, puffing his chest out like some peacock showing off his feathers and you already wanted to smack the shit out of him.

His manager, Anthony waved at the two of you, ushering him into the elevator.

“Good morning y/n, Ana.” Anthony greeted as Hyunjin kept smirking at you.

“It was good until now.” you crossed your arms over your chest.

Even the cologne Hyunjin was wearing made you want to puke your guts out so you stepped away from him.

A chuckle escaped his lips as he leaned on the wall casually, never taking his eyes off of you.

“Aw, you throwing a tantrum already baby?” he smirked at you and you started fuming.

Both of your managers rolled their eyes, Ana muttering ‘here we go again’ as she shook her head.

“I see you have a new piercing on your face. You needed another hole to let the air out of that empty head?” you said, trying to sound nonchalant and Hyunjin scoffed.

“I’m gonna ignore that comment and focus on the fact that you’re counting my piercings. Observing me, huh?” he looked at you smugly.

“Yeah, cause I have nothing better to do than-”

Ding!

“Alright, break it off kids, were here!” Anthony said, quickly pulling Hyunjin out of the elevator.

“See? I can’t stand him.” you groaned as Ana chuckled.

“You stood up to him pretty well.” Ana winked. “Let's go get some coffee, get you properly awake before the interview.” she gripped your shoulders, shaking you a little as you groaned in protest.

Thankfully, Hyunjin had disappeared somewhere and you were glad he wasn’t around to annoy you, as you made small talk with a few of the staff you knew there since you’ve already been interviewed for the same channel before. 

“Ana, I’m gonna go get some air before we start.” you felt the nerves creeping up inside you.

“Okay, but you have to be back in five minutes.” she reminded you and you gave her a thumbs up, before practically sprinting down the hall to get to the little terrace hidden on the side.

Staff used it for smoke breaks, and you decided to use it to calm your anxiety down.

You flung the door open and stepped out onto the balcony, quickly taking a deep breath in while you looked down at the city before you.

“Needed to see me once more before the interview?” a voice rang out to the left of you.

Hyunjin’s voice.

Of course the bastard is here, you thought, your face becoming hot in annoyance.

“I had no idea you were here, asshole.” you turned to look at him.

He was leaning on the railing, flexing his muscles, a long vein protruding under the layer of the swirling colorful flowers inked into his skin, leading all the way to his long fingers with chipped nail polish and a cigarette pinched between his thumb and index finger.

He looked at you intently through his bangs that were haphazardly falling into his eyes, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip, before his tongue poked out to play with the piercing adorning it.

“I thought you had more originality when it comes to nicknames, darling.” he said mockingly before taking another drag from his cigarette.

“Don’t call me that.” you turned around to leave but Hyunjin’s long arm quickly blocked your way, his palm splayed on the wall.

You looked up at him and stepped back, just as he puffed the smoke out your way.

“You leaving?” he looked smug again, intrusive thoughts of pushing him off the balcony appeared in your mind.

“Yes, this space is too small and your cologne is nauseating.” your face scrunches up.

“Aw, I’ll make sure to find another one you’d like.” Hyunjin smirks.

“Don’t bother.” you ducked under his arm and opened the door, walking away as fast as you could.

At least he helped in a way, you weren’t anxious anymore, just annoyed and waiting for this day to be over. 

“Where is Hyunjin, we’re starting in a minute.” Anthony’s brows furrowed while you were ushered towards the room. 

“Last I saw him, he was smoking on the balcony.” you shrugged as they sat you down. 

The chair where Hyunjin would be sitting was too close for comfort and you wanted so badly to push it away, but you figured it was there because of the camera frame. 

“We’re on in 30 seconds!” one of the staff yelled and you rolled your eyes. 

Of course he was late, the self-centered bastard. You were sure he was enjoying this, everyone waiting on his highness to arrive, everyone panicking around him as he wears that disgusting smug smirk on his face.

“In 10…9…” the staff started counting down just as the door swung open and a breathless Hyunjin ran into the room, almost tripping over your crossed legs before he sat down on the chair next to you. 

After he ran in, one of the girls working there ran in too, quickly taking her place with rosy cheeks and her lipgloss smeared. 

You rolled your eyes and looked at him, the glitter from the girl’s lipgloss was visibly shining on his lips and chin. 

“You have a little something.” you said and he smirked, wiping his chin off before leaning towards you.

“My lips were dry.” he whispered with a wink.

You were more than ready to get this over with, seething with anger at his unprofessional behavior that you didn’t even notice the camera began rolling. 

“... today’s special guests are y/n of Venus Flytrap and Hyunjin of Lycoris Radiata! I hope y’all are as excited as I am, since it’s been so long. Y/n, let’s start with you. You have a new album coming out soon, can we get a little sneak peek of that?” the interviewer, Sarah, asked as you adjusted on your chair. 

“This is our third album now, and this time Steph and Janey participated in the writing more than before, so the songs are really personal to all three of us.”

“Are we finally gonna hear about their love story?” Sarah wiggled her eyebrows. 

“We may.” you smirked at her, not wanting to reveal too much.

“How about yours?” she added on, in the corner of your eye you saw Hyunjin leaning towards you as he stared at you, manspreading like always, his knee knocking into yours. 

“Huh?” 

“Your love story. Is there a special guy or girl in your life?” the interviewer asked, making you feel annoyed instantly. 

You hated being asked questions like that, sometimes it felt like the music you were writing didn’t even matter, all people wanted to know was who you’re fucking. 

“Not at the moment, no.” you forced a smile so you don’t seem rude.

“I thought I was special.” Hyunjin chimed in next to you, bumping his shoulder against yours, that shit eating grin you hate spreading on his face.

Before you could answer, Sarah butted in. 

“Oh, is there something happening between you that we should know about?”

You could just hear the excitement in her voice, the hunger for drama dripping from her lips. 

“Nothing is happening, we just like to joke around like that.” you quickly answered, hoping to deflect her to another question, or that she’d finally talk to Hyunjin and ask him about his new song, so you could take a few moments to breathe. 

“So, you two are close?”

Oh no. 

Here it goes again. 

Last time this happened, your name got dragged on every social media platform.

People who were shipping the two of you got on your nerves, but that wasn’t the biggest problem.

No, it was the people who had sent you hate and death threats, telling you if they saw you next to Hyunjin again you’d be dead. 

It took a toll on your mental health and scared you since you know people can easily find an address or stalk you somewhere and you wanted to avoid any rumors that would endanger your well-being. 

“We're just coworkers.” to your surprise Hyunjin answered nonchalantly, saying exactly what you wanted to say so people would leave you alone. 

Why was there a weird feeling in your chest then?

“Well, sometimes there’s passion at the workplace.” Sarah wasn’t giving it up and you were close to losing your temper and telling her to shove it already, ask some less invasive questions. 

“No passion here, our relationship is strictly professional.” you said, but your skin burned where Hyunjin’s thigh pressed against yours.

In your mind you were cursing both him and Sarah, and even your manager for bringing you here.

Thankfully, she left it at that, continuing with questions about your upcoming tour and Hyunjin’s new song. 

As soon as the interview finished and you were done shaking hands, Ana came to you, her hand on your shoulder as she squeezed. 

In the corner of your eye, you saw Hyunjin slip out of the room.

“Good job.” she smiled as Anthony joined the two of you. 

“I hope you’re hungry, y/n. This time it’s my treat, and there’s this restaurant…”

You tuned Anthony out, completely forgetting that after an interview like this, the tradition is to have dinner with Hyunjin and his manager. 

“Can we skip dinner this time? I just wanna go home and lay down.”

“Nonsense, I hear your stomach growling from here. Come on, it’s free food you can’t say no.” Anthony made a goofy face, hoping to win you over.

“Fine, you had me at free food.” you sighed as Ana nodded with a smile.

“Good! Now where is our other rockstar?” he quickly looked around. “I swear, sometimes I feel like I’m a babysitter, not a manager.”

“I’ll go find him.” you offered, wanting to leave the building as soon as possible.

“Sure.” Ana nodded and you made your way down the hall.

Your footsteps echoed in the empty space, until you came closer to a corner where the sounds of hushed voices and giggles filled up your ears and made you roll your eyes. 

“You know I can’t give you my number, baby. But if there is an empty room around here somewhere…” Hyunjin was talking to the girl from earlier, leaning over her body as she stared up at him like he was a god, her back against the wall.

You cleared your throat, crossing your arms on your chest. 

Both of them looked up at you, Hyunjin giving you a smirk as he straightened up and the girl glared at you but you didn’t give a shit. 

“We need to leave right now. Our managers are waiting for us.” you said simply as the girl whined. 

“Shh, maybe some other time.” he shushed her, leaning towards her and your stomach flipped in disgust. 

He didn’t kiss her, just taunted her before he leaned back and made his way towards you. 

“Cockblocker.” he stuck his tongue out, the piercing adorning it catching the light for a moment. 

“Do you even know her name?” you asked, keeping a fast pace and a good distance away from him.

“No. Does it matter?” he shrugged, his long legs quickly catching up to you in big strides.

“You’re despicable.” your face scrunched up in disgust as you neared the elevator where your managers were waiting and chatting. 

“Throwing some big words around. You sure you know the meaning?” he smirked.

“That’s it.” you said angrily.

“What? You just basically told me I deserve to be hated just cause I wanted to have some fun.” 

You looked at him, full on ready to slap him across his face but Ana stepped between the two of you. 

“Fighting again? Can the two of you behave for just one evening?” Anthony frowned with a sigh as he called the elevator. 

“I can behave.” Hyunjin clicked his tongue cheekily before playing with his lip ring again. 

“Y/n?” Ana looked at you. 

“As long as he doesn’t talk to me, I’ll be fine.” you turned away from Hyunjin, stepping into the elevator. 

This is going to be one awkward dinner. 

-

Choosing to disconnect in the van you put your earphones in, ignoring Hyunjin’s presence right next to you. 

It’s like your managers wanted to have you two as close as possible, like they thought it’d make you hate each other less but at this moment there was nothing more you wanted than to get away from him. 

Or maybe your managers wanted to be closer to each other, you smirked to yourself as Ana twirled her hair around her finger, giggling at something Anthony said. 

You leaned back as the music flooded your ears, your figure slightly turned towards the window as you watched the street lights pass you by, totally unaware of a pair of eyes that were glued to you.

Hyunjin observed you in detail, how shiny your hair was as it cascaded down your back and shoulders, how your brows were slightly creased and your lips pouty as you listened to your music, the steady rise and fall of your chest, the way your fingers played with the hem of your shirt as you pulled on it, how pretty the rings adorning your fingers were, how the necklace you always wore laid gently on your collarbone.

No little detail was skipped as he drinked it all in, thinking you wouldn’t notice. 

But after some time as it got even darker outside, you caught Hyunjin’s reflection in the window as he stared at you with a look on his face that you’ve never seen before. 

Your stomach suddenly swirled as the two of you made eye contact on the glass, Hyunjin’s plump lips falling open before he sat up and looked away, acting like nothing happened. 

The rest of the ride was uneventful and you were tired of this day, having to look at Hyunjin was more exhausting to you than being on stage.

You couldn’t wait to get into your bed and disappear. 

As you walked into the restaurant, you were led to a table and you could see a few people whispering and pointing at you but usually they didn’t bother you much. 

However, this time was different. 

As you scanned the menu, a girl timidly approached your table and you looked up at her as she stood next to Hyunjin. 

“I’m - I’m sorry to bother you but I’m a really big fan and I was wondering if you’d take a picture with me?” she asked Hyunjin who immediately smirked at her.

“No pictures allowed. But you can get his signature.” Anthony chimed in. 

“And who the fuck are you?” the girl changed her demeanor right away, making Hyunjin chuckle.

“Easy there, sweetheart, that’s my boss.” he wiggled his eyebrows at the girl. “Come on I’ll give you a sign and you can write me your number, maybe I’ll call you, hm?” Hyunjin winked at her and you just about lost your appetite completely.

“Oh, sure, I’d love that!” she let out a nasally laugh as he signed a napkin with a pen she somehow produced, giving it back to her as she leaned over to write her number down, making sure her tits were right in his face before she skipped back to her friends. 

“Can there be at least one minute when you’re not trying to fuck something that walks?” you looked at him annoyingly and he laughed.

“Thought you weren’t talking to me.” he smirked. 

“Ugh, you’re so annoying!” you were ready to smack him with the menu in your hand but Ana caught your wrist. 

“I bet you love that about me.” he kept smirking. 

“Love is nothing near what I feel about you.” you said, your teeth gritted.

“There’s a fine line between love and hate, you know.” Hyunjin smirked, leaning into your personal space. 

“Anyways, guys. What are you ordering? Their steak is really good.” Anthony gave an awkward smile as he looked around the table. 

“I want the tomato pasta.” Hyunjin leaned back, making you cackle.

“Isn’t that the kids menu? Makes sense for you somehow.” 

“I’m saving room for dessert.” he winked at you, his tongue running over his lip tentatively, the piercing on it catching the light again. 

“Ew.” you jolted in disgust as he laughed loudly, obviously finding enjoyment in ticking you off. 

The dinner part of the outing was uneventful as everyone ate and made small talk but you didn’t miss how Hyunjin crumpled up the napkin with the fan’s number and threw it aside on the table, not caring about it. 

What an asshole. 

“Let’s make a little toast to this evening and the upcoming albums and tour.” Ana proposed as she lifted her glass up. 

“To us.” Hyunjin smirked as he looked at you. 

“To rock’n’roll!” you added as the four of you clinked your glasses together before taking a big swig of your drinks.

Hyunjin didn’t look at you on the drive home. 

-

Rehearsal was supposed to start at 9am sharp, but you were there bright and early, tuning your guitar. 

Being an early bird, you loved the few moments of peace you could have to yourself, just you and your music. 

Your hand glided easily on the guitar’s neck, taking shapes familiar to your hands, it was muscle memory by now, your fingers picking on the strings and creating the melody you played countless times before. 

You let your voice ring out in the space freely as you sang a song dear to your heart, one you wrote when you were younger. 

You’d always start warming up by singing it to yourself, never having the need to actually put it out into the world. 

You got into it, your eyes closed as you sang with a small smile on your face, the entire world around you disappearing shortly. 

In the distance, you heard footsteps and voices belonging to your bandmates and just as you opened your eyes, you looked through the glass on the door, a shadow slithered across the wall outside, disappearing around the corner.  

You squinted your eyes and stood up, putting your guitar aside and coming closer to the door. 

Just as you were about to reach towards the doorknob, the voices got louder. 

“Are we seriously doing this right now?” Janey asked, the tone of her voice angry. 

“I’m telling you, it was nothing! I don’t know who she is and why she’s texting me!” Steph defended herself as Janey scoffed.

“I’m sick of your excuses. I’m gonna give you one last chance to make it up to me and be truthful, but after that I’m done.” you stepped back as Janey came into view, opening the door angrily.

“Oh, y/n.” she widened her eyes slightly. “Good morning.” she added, scurrying past you to take her place behind the drum kit. 

Steph walked in with a scowl on her face, muttering a ‘morning’ before going straight to her bass guitar. 

It wasn’t the first time they fought or even broke up.

There were many times you had to be the mediator between them, trying to get them to communicate and even though it was frustrating, you didn’t want them to give up on their relationship easily and you couldn’t really take sides since they were both your friends. 

“Shall we?” you asked and they nodded. 

It took some warming up as always but soon you got into the groove, rehearsing for a small performance that was happening tonight.

You were excited because during the performance you planned to reveal your new song and see how people like it in person. 

The only thorn in your eye was the fact that Hyunjin’s band will be there too, performing right after yours. 

You were dreading to see him again, since that interview last week you had managed to avoid him skilfully, but you couldn’t hide forever. 

And even though your rehearsal went somewhat smoothly, there was tension in the air and you didn’t like that feeling.

It felt like a storm was coming and you weren’t sure if you’re ready to take it on. 

-

Evening came around quickly, everyone was already gathered backstage and you were dressed and ready, having rehearsed once more on the stage, tuning your guitars and getting ready for the most fun part. 

You peered from the back, seeing all the people gathering made your heart swell, a smile spreading on your face automatically. 

“Quite a turn out, huh?” 

Your eye literally twitched when you heard Hyunjin’s voice behind you, too close for comfort as his figure loomed over you and you felt the warmth of his body on your back.

You turned your head slightly as he peered down at you with that annoying smirk you absolutely hate. 

“Of course.” you said, squeezing your body between him and the curtain, ignoring him calling after you as you walked away as fast as you could.

You’re not gonna let him ruin tonight for you. 

It was time to go on stage anyways.

You and your girls did a little cheer as tradition before the performance, Ana coming up to hug you and wish you good luck. 

“Break a leg.” Hyunjin appeared out of nowhere and you only rolled your eyes before whipping around and almost smacking him with your hair as you made your way towards the stage. 

As soon as you walked out, loud screams filled up your ears and everything negative was forgotten and locked away in a drawer in the back of your mind. 

“Are you ready to rock tonight?!” you screamed out into the mic as the three of you took your positions. 

Hyunjin watched you from the side with an unreadable look on his face, but you weren’t even aware of it and you didn’t care. 

All you cared about was this moment. 

The moment where you get to share your love for music with thousands of people. 

It was exhilarating, watching the mass of bodies sway like one, hearing all the people singing the lyrics you wrote in unison. 

Nothing could compare to this and every time you stood under that light, you knew you were born for this. 

Giddy from everything, you skipped backstage once you finished playing the last song; which happened to be the new one and people more than loved it judging by their excited screams. 

“That was amazing!” Ana met you halfway, giving high fives to all three of you.

You were still trying to catch your breath as you giggled, when Hyunjin appeared next to you again. 

“Aren’t you gonna wish me good luck?” he smirked at you, shamelessly giving you the elevator eyes. 

“Good luck guys!” Janey yelled at all four members with a smile and a thumbs up but Hyunjin shook his head. 

“I want her to say it or I’m not going out on stage.” he crossed his arms on his chest, pouting and tapping his foot like a child about to throw a tantrum. 

“Come on, Hyun, we need to get out there!” Aiden, the band’s bassist called out. 

“Not moving until y/n wishes me good luck.” he quickly shook his head, his fluffy hair shaking with it and you thought how he resembled a dog; in more ways than one. 

“Fine you spoiled brat. Good luck.” you said sarcastically and he scoffed. 

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” he smirked, leaning into your personal space again. 

“Get on the stage, Hyunjin.” you sighed and he chuckled in delight. 

“Watch me closely.” he winked before running off. 

“I can just cut the tension in the air with a knife.” Steph smirked at you, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Oh, fuck off!” you said, smacking the back of her head as she cackled. 

You did end up watching Hyunjin’s band perform after refreshing yourself, but pretty soon you’ve come to regret that decision. 

He was wild while performing, stripping out of his jacket as he screamed into the mic, sweating under the bright lights pointed directly at him making him look like an insane glazed donut as he strutted around the stage acting all smug even though he tripped over his dumb long legs multiple times. 

He’d lean over towards his little groupies, holding their hand or caressing their faces, blowing them kisses and whatnot, all of that behavior making your gut churn in disgust. 

The last straw was when he laid down on his back and started humping the air while moaning into the mic. 

Even though the crowd screamed louder than before and the horny fans almost started hyperventilating, you felt second hand embarrassment at witnessing this. 

Hyunjin continued moaning before he threw his head back, his eyes locking with yours. 

A shiver ran down your spine as he smirked at you, all sweaty, his hair sticking to his forehead, his piercings shining in the light, the veins on his neck visible and his cheeks red. 

A warmness spread in your navel as he winked, licking at his lip slowly, taunting you before he moaned extra loudly, the pornographic sound echoing in your ears. 

You frowned suddenly at your heart beating fast and your legs pressing together. 

What the fuck is wrong with me?, you thought, quickly shaking your head as he finally looked away from you and stood up. 

Of course, he got showered by multiple bras on stage, you think you even caught a glimpse of someone throwing their panties and you couldn’t watch anymore. 

It was truly disgusting. 

You quickly shoved past some staff members watching and gasping at whatever Hyunjin was doing now. 

Pushing past everyone, you made your way outside to get some fresh air in the hidden area behind backstage, where staff and musicians usually smoked or chilled after a performance. 

You greeted some of the staff before finding a spot where you could be alone. 

You were about to relax when you heard kissing sounds and as you turned to look around the corner you saw Steph kissing some random girl. 

You couldn’t contain the gasp that flew out of your mouth, making them jolt away from each other. 

Steph’s eyes widened when she saw you and you quickly spun around, noticing Janey had just walked outside too and started looking around. 

“Y/n, wait!” Steph yelled behind you. “It’s not what you think! Please, don’t tell Janey!” she looked at you desperately but you hated cheaters more than anything, seeing her betrayal with your own eyes broke any sort of connection you had with her. 

“Isn’t it? Your tongue was down some girl’s throat. Now, what do you call that?” you scoffed.

“What?” Janey appeared next to you, just as the girl who Steph was kissing before stood behind her. 

“It’s not like that, I-”

You could see Janey’s eyes filling up with tears. 

“That’s it, I’m done. With you and with the band. With everything.” you gasped when she said that, your eyes wide. 

“Janey, don’t be like that, it didn’t mean anything to me-” Steph started.

“Liar, you told me you’d leave her for me.” the girl behind Steph chimed in. 

“Oh, so this has been going on for some time?” Janey looked between Steph and the girl. 

“Let’s talk about this inside.” you tried to lead them in as people were whispering and looking at the four of you. 

“I have nothing else to say. I’m sorry, y/n. I can’t be a part of this band anymore when all it’s gonna do is remind me of this cheating whore.” Janey spat before turning around and leaving. 

“Okay, I deserve that but like I’m sorry that-”

“Save it, Steph. I can’t believe you did this. You put your desires over the well-being of our band. You do understand that your actions not only affect Janey, but also me, Ana and the rest of the record company?” you asked her, your blood boiling with anger. 

“I- I’m sorry, let me make it right. I’ll talk to Janey and she’ll forgive me once she understands-” 

“You think I want you to be part of the band after this? That’s rich.” you turned around too, in hopes of finding Janey. 

“Y/n, you can’t throw me out of the band!” Steph yelled behind you. 

“I just did.” you said coldly before opening the door and rushing into the backstage room. 

“Is Janey here?” you asked Ana and before she could answer, someone bumped into you rather strongly, making you stumble backwards a little.

You turned around angrily, noticing a very sweaty and breathless Hyunjin staring at you with a smile, his tongue lolling out of his lips as he played with his piercing. 

“So, did you like my performance?” he winked at you. “Did it get you excited?” the famous shit eating grin spread on his face as he leaned in closer to you, a few droplets of sweat dripping from his hair.

“I don’t have time for your games, Hyunjin. Please leave me alone.” you said annoyingly, noticing he had a bra hooked around his hand.

“What’s going on?” Ana asked, looking at you confusedly.

You were shaken up, the anger you felt manifesting into tears and you cursed yourself for being so emotional and quick to cry. 

“Woah, you’re crying!” Hyunjin stepped even closer to you but you’ve had enough of him. 

“Get away from me, asshole!” you channeled all your anger his way as you pressed your hands on his chest, pushing him away. 

Hyunjin stumbled with a gasp, a shocked look on his face. 

“What the hell is happening here?” Anthony quickly came to Hyunjin’s side as his bandmates watched everything unfold. 

“Ana, can we talk in private?” you glared once more at Hyunjin and she quickly nodded, hooking her arm with yours and taking you away from the scene. 

Hyunjin watched your figure disappear out of view with a deep frown on his face. 

-

It’s been a dreadful week.

You’ve tried talking to Janey multiple times, begging her to come back, promising to her that you wouldn’t let Steph come anywhere near her. 

Sadly, Janey was insistent on not wanting to continue with the band since lots of the songs were written by her and her now ex girlfriend who betrayed her in such an ugly way. 

You talked to Ana almost every day on the phone but you weren’t up for any visits, choosing instead to wallow in your sadness. 

Your band fell apart, your friends were no longer together, your album couldn’t be published and people were speculating, spreading rumors, you were getting numerous curious comments asking what happened to Venus Flytrap. 

You had no idea what to do at that moment. 

You just needed some time to yourself to figure out what your next step should be. 

You were lounging in your bed when your phone buzzed for the hundredth time.

Rolling your eyes, you grabbed it and saw that you had a text message from an unknown number. 

???: hey there pretty girl! don’t be so sad! there are worse things than your band falling apart. 

you: what, like death? and who is this? 

???: your favorite person in the whole world<3 

you: hyunjin?? 

???: aw i knew i was your favorite!

You started seething immediately as you sat up, your heart beating fast instantly as you worked yourself up into annoyance.

You quickly put his contact under ‘asshole’. 

you: no, i knew that a conceited answer like that can only come from an asshole like you.

you: now, what do you want?

asshole: did you save my contact as asshole? or dickhead? which one is it?

you: wouldn’t you like to know. seriously what the hell do you want. i’ll block you if you don’t get on with it

asshole: just wanted to see if you maybe want to talk to someone

you: if i did, i wouldn’t choose you. have a nice day away from me hyunjin

Hyunjin didn’t answer your last text, instead he left you on read and you tossed your phone across your bed, now feeling even more infuriated than before. 

You squinted your eyes, grabbing your phone again and texting Ana.

you: did you give my number to hyunjin??

Ana: i’m sorry! he wouldn’t stop bugging me about it! pls don’t be mad

Just great. 

Why is he insisting on annoying you even when you feel down in the dumps, you thought, he always has to come in and make you feel even more mad. 

You were hoping that with your last text he’d finally leave you alone.

You also hoped you wouldn’t be seeing him any time soon.

But boy, you couldn’t be more wrong.

-

“What?!” you yelled so loudly that it echoed off of the office walls.

“Y/n, please we don’t know any other solution. Lycoris Radiata is going to tour in 4 days and you’re the only person who knows their songs by heart. You can also kick ass with drums. And well, you’re kinda free now.” Anthony grimaced. 

“You can’t do this to me. I can’t spend so much time with Hwang Hyunjin!” you whined like a child, kicking your legs under the table as Ana gave you an apologetic look.

“Gossiping about me?” Hyunjin strolled in, with that annoying smirk, his hair in a little ponytail, showing more of his ear piercings and his sharp jawline. 

He took off his leather jacket, throwing it haphazardly on the chair before he plopped down into it. 

He spun around in the chair to face you as you looked at him with a scowl on your face.

Brendon, his guitarist and Aiden joined the meeting right after that.

“So, ready to be my new drummer?” Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows at you.

“Not a chance in hell.” 

“Y/n, please, we have no other choice! Phil had to leave so suddenly due to his sickness. We couldn’t be prepared for something like that. We can’t afford to postpone the tour now.” Brendon pleaded as Aiden nodded next to him. 

You leaned back into the chair, pursing your lips as you gave it a thought.

Of course they’d choose you. 

You knew their songs by heart since you shared so many tours together but you had your own bus and mostly ran into Hyunjin either backstage or at an afterparty but if you would become a part of his band you’d spend most of your time with him. 

But this could be good for you to give yourself time to decide what you wanna do next while touring with Lycoris Radiata. 

And since you were a multi instrumentalist, playing the drums wouldn’t be a problem for you.

You smirked suddenly before tilting your head at Hyunjin. 

“Fine. I will tour with you under one condition.” you said. 

“Anything!” Anthony piped in but you kept staring at Hyunjin. 

“I want you to beg.” your smirk deepened and Hyunjin’s eyes widened slightly, his fingers twitching against his thighs. 

“What?” he blinked repeatedly and you chuckled under your breath. 

“Beg me to join your band or I’m not doing it.” 

Hyunjin’s lips opened and closed a few times before he frowned.

“I don’t beg. I demand.” he smirked, taunting you.

“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, you’re in no position to have demands. However, I am. So if I want you to beg, Hyunjin, you’re gonna beg.” you sat up straight as he looked at you in pure shock. 

“My, my darling. I didn’t know you were this commanding. I kinda dig that.” he wiggled his eyebrows. 

“Any day now.” you were ready to stand up and leave. 

The room was eerily silent and Brendon opened his lips to speak up but Anthony grabbed his wrist and quickly shook his head. 

You could see the gears turning in Hyunjin’s head as he stared at you, and slowly but surely his cheeks became red as he closed his eyes in frustration.

“Pretty please, join my band and come on tour with us?” he said, rather quickly and you tsked. 

“Not convincing enough.” you enjoyed having the upper hand, the roles reversed as you pushed Hyunjin’s buttons. 

“What do you want me to do?! Kneel at your feet?” he whined.

“Maybe.” you shrugged. 

“Unbelievable! I’m the one doing you a favor anyways.” Hyunjin said, clearly annoyed and you were reveling in it. 

You wanted him to get the taste of his own medicine.

“Is that so?” you raised your eyebrow as he breathed hard. 

“Yes, your band is as good as dead right now, just like your career.” he said with a smug smirk, making everyone gasp. 

“Hyunjin!” Aiden scolded him and you stood up, feeling your eyes water as you lifted your hand, your palm colliding with Hyunjin’s cheek. 

The force of your slap turned his head right and he grabbed at his cheek immediately, his eyes wide, his face becoming red quickly.

“Fuck you!” you said angrily before turning around and leaving the room as tears started sliding down your cheeks. 

“Now look at what you did!” Anthony was mad and Hyunjin shrugged with a frown, realizing quickly that maybe he did cross a line.

“How could you say something like that to y/n?” Brendon asked, and Hyunjin looked at them, feeling dejected suddenly as he rubbed at his cheek. 

There was strength in your hands, that he was sure of. 

“I fucked up, okay! I didn’t mean to say that.” he shook his head. “I will make this right.” Hyunjin added, standing up. 

“Dude, I think you’re the last person y/n wants to see right now.” Aiden said. 

“But I have to apologize to her.” Hyunjin chewed on his lip, playing with his piercing as a nervous habit.

“I’ll go with you then.” Aiden nodded, standing up as well. 

“Fine.” Hyunjin sighed. 

You sat in the swinging chair on one of the many balconies of the building, letting your tears slip down your cheeks as the wind picked up, making you shiver. 

Hyunjin and Aiden found you pretty quickly and before Aiden could follow him to the balcony, Hyunjin smacked his hand on Aiden’s chest. 

“Please, just wait here.” 

“Fine, but if you provoke her again, I’m coming in.” Aiden sighed, shaking his head. 

The door of the balcony opened and in the corner of your eye you saw Hyunjin’s combat boots and his leather pants. 

“Go away.” you said quietly, sniffling and turning away from him.

Hyunjin stood frozen for a moment, holding his jacket in his hand and you took that time to quickly wipe away your tears. 

You didn’t want to look weak in front of your enemy. 

Footsteps approached and suddenly you felt a weight on your shoulders and back. 

You looked down, realizing that Hyunjin had put his jacket around you and it smelled like cigarettes mixed with cologne he always wears and something distinctly him. 

You took a deep breath and for some reason, calmness settled all over your body. 

“I’m really sorry for what I said back there. It was way out of line.”

You didn’t say anything, still refusing to look at him. 

“And I’m sorry about your band. I know that must be hard to go through. I feel bad that my drummer had to leave, I don’t know how I’d feel if-”

“Are you done?” you turned to look at him and his lips pressed together. 

“I don’t care how you feel, Hyunjin. Just like you didn’t care about hurting me moments ago.” you stood up, ready to throw his jacket away. 

“Well, I apologized!” he threw his hands up, rolling his eyes. “Though, I’m glad I have that effect on you, I didn’t know you cared so much about what I think or say.” he smirked suddenly. 

You were tempted to slap his other cheek at that moment, and Aiden must’ve sensed it so he walked out to the balcony. 

“Are we okay?” he asked, gulping. 

“Not until he apologizes properly.” you crossed your arms with a smirk, and he knew exactly what you meant.

“Ugh! This is the first and last time I get on my knees for you.” Hyunjin said annoyingly as he kneeled down and you chuckled in delight. 

“I’m sorry for being an asshole and if you could find it in your heart to forgive me, I’d be honored for you to join my band.” he batted his eyelashes at you. 

“Mm…” you pursed your lips, acting like you were contemplating it as he rolled his eyes again. 

“Fine. I accept.” you shrugged and Hyunjin stood up quickly with a smile.

“Welcome to the band, sweetheart!” he smirked, opening his arms for a hug and you quickly dodged under his arm and slithered away. 

“You’re welcome.” you smirked back, grabbing his jacket and throwing it at him.

He caught it just as you walked back into the hallway, grinning to himself as you walked away. 

“She wants me so bad.” Hyunjin said as Aiden’s eyebrows lifted comically. 

“I think she wants to kill you.” he said and Hyunjin chuckled, smacking Aiden’s shoulder and grabbing him. 

“I know what chicks like, okay?” 

“You also know that y/n isn’t one of your little groupies?” Aiden sighed.

“I know, don’t worry. She’s special.” Hyunjin smiled, hugging his jacket to his chest, getting a whiff of your perfume that stayed on it.

Aiden shook his head with a chuckle. 

This is gonna be one hell of a tour. 

-

The party was in full swing. 

That morning you had packed for the tour, your stomach swirling with nerves so much that you thought you’d throw up. 

You were actually going on tour with Lycoris Radiata, for at least six months. 

A lot can happen in that amount of time and while you were nervous to spend so much time with the infuriating and annoying asshole aka Hwang Hyunjin, you were also excited for the new experience and the places you’ll get to see.

Of course, you couldn’t leave without attending a ‘have an amazing tour’ party that was mostly exclusive only for staff and a few other people. 

You were on your second glass of beer as you sat at the bar, the cold bitter liquid not calming you down as it should. 

Hyunjin was having a jolly old time, entertaining some girls of course and if you had rolled your eyes any harder, they’d get stuck in the back of your head. 

“Don’t take that to heart.” Aiden suddenly appeared next to you.

“What?” you chuckled awkwardly, shaking away your thoughts.

“Hyunjin flirting like that. He’s a lot of talk, more than anything else.”

“Why would I care if he flirts with some random girls?” you frowned. “It’s none of my business.”

“Right.” Aiden pursed his lips. “Well, I’m gonna go find Anthony.”

“Sure.” you shrugged, your eyes flying back to Hyunjin and the girls who were salivating all over him. 

He was showing them his biceps and they were touching him like they’ve never seen a human arm in their life. 

You scoffed, shaking your head when a voice behind you startled you. 

“Now, why is a pretty lady such as yourself sitting all alone?” 

You turned around with your eyebrow lifted, coming face to face with a stranger. 

“Because it’s her choice.” you answered.

“Oh, feisty and pretty? That’s a fun combo.” the guy smirked, his arm leaning on your chair, almost hugging your waist as he got closer to you. 

Your nose scrunched up, he smelled of alcohol and you really wanted him to leave you alone. 

“I’m pretty boring, trust me.” you said.

“Oh, I don’t believe that. In fact, I think if you were to let me take you home tonight, you and I could have so much fun.” he smirked and you were pretty sure you barfed in your mouth a little.

“No, thank you.” you said sarcastically. 

He chuckled, placing his arms around you.

You were completely unaware of Hyunjin who was keeping an eye on you and the suspicious guy. 

As soon as the man placed his hands on you, Hyunjin pushed the girl he was talking to aside, his heavy combat boots taking him right to you and the disturbance in your personal space.

“I don’t really take no for an answer.” he said and your heart sank momentarily. 

“Back off man!” you tried to push him away but he wasn’t budging.

Suddenly the guy was ripped away from you with such force that it pulled you to your feet.

You grabbed at the bar to steady yourself and gasped just in time to see Hyunjin swinging his fist at the man. 

“Oh my god!” you almost screamed, your eyes wide as the guy fell to the floor instantly. 

People quickly gathered around and Anthony was trying to push them away so he could grab Hyunjin. 

“The lady said no, you fucking dirtbag!” Hyunjin said, swinging at the man again. 

“Oh my god, Hyunjin! Stop, it’s okay, please!” you panicked, never seeing him this angry or violent. 

“Hwang! Enough!” Anthony yelled, grabbing Hyunjin’s arms and lifting him up as he fought against his manager, still trying to punch the man who was now laying on the floor with his face completely bloody. 

You kept looking at Hyunjin with a shocked expression as he breathed hard, his face red and sweaty from anger, the veins on his neck and forehead popping out.

“I stopped, now let me go.” he said through his teeth as someone lifted up the unconscious guy.

“Hyunjin, if this gets out to the press it could turn into a fucking shitstorm! What the hell is wrong with you?!” Anthony yelled angrily as Hyunjin stood with his fists still clenched. 

“He made y/n uncomfortable and he deserved it.” Hyunjin answered before turning towards you. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes softening as you stared at him in disbelief.

“I-I’m fine.”

“Good. I’m done with this party.” Hyunjin said, turning on his heel and grabbing his jacket before he walked out, leaving you standing there still trying to process what the hell just happened.

-

You were half asleep when Ana drove you to the tour bus. 

You barely slept last night, tossing and turning in your bed as the images of Hyunjin punching that guy from the party kept swimming in your head. 

Never has a man defended you like that and you’ve never seen Hyunjin look so livid before. 

He was usually either smirking, laughing or being a menace, ready to always annoy you but you’ve never seen him actually angry.

It was kind of… hot, you thought before shaking it off.

You wondered why he reacted like that.

“You okay?” Ana snapped you out of your vegetative state as you sank in the passenger seat, arms crossed and hood over your head. 

“Hm? Yeah, just sleepy.” you sat up and looked around. 

The sun wasn’t even up yet. 

“You can continue sleeping on the tour bus. We’re here.” she chuckled. 

“Oh, goody.” you sighed before opening the door and walking out.

“Morning, ladies.” Anthony all but ran up to Ana, helping her with yours and her bags since she’d be joining you too. 

“Morning? It’s still night.” you checked your phone, seeing it was 4:13am. 

“Not where I come from. You see-” Anthony started.

“Okay, I’m too asleep to listen to this.” you shook your head before strolling towards the bus. 

You were about to just climb in and go straight to the nearest bed you could find but you heard some quiet music coming from behind the back of the bus. 

You approached slowly and peeked around to see Hyunjin leaning on the wall, smoking and listening to some quiet music. 

He looked up instantly, seeming like a deer caught in headlights for a short moment. 

“Remembered to put on a jacket?” he smirked. 

“Ha ha. Very funny.” you said and he shrugged, looking away and turning the music off. 

As he brought his cigarette to his lips, you noticed his knuckles were red and injured. 

“I guess I should thank you for last night.” you said quietly, swinging on your feet awkwardly as you dug your hands in your pockets. 

“It was nothing.” he shook his head quickly. 

“I wouldn’t call that nothing.” you motioned to his hand. 

“This?” he looked at his hand and chuckled. “You should see the other guy.” he winked at you, making you roll your eyes. 

“Clever.” 

“Come to think of it, it does hurt a bit. Wanna kiss it better?” Hyunjin smirked, puffing the smoke out. 

“Bite me.” you gave him the middle finger as he laughed, the sound ringing out in the quiet early hours.

“I might. If you ask nicely.” he said with that smug expression of his.

“I’m going inside.” you shivered, realizing how cold it actually was, ignoring his witty quips. 

“I’m right behind ya.” he threw his cigarette on the floor before stepping on it. 

Your heart started beating fast out of nowhere as his heavy boots stomped behind you, the sound escorting you to the entrance of the bus. 

“Oh wow.” your eyes widened as you looked around the living/kitchen area. 

“You like?” Hyunjin leaned over your shoulder and you jolted away from him, making him snicker. 

“Yeah, it’s… not what I expected. It looks more cozy than I thought it would.” you nodded.

“You should thank the interior designer.” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“And who might that be?” you asked, making your way to the bunk bed area. 

“Oh, just a guy. He takes payment in kisses.” Hyunjin bumped into you as you stopped. 

“Is that guy maybe you?” you turned around, not realizing immediately just how close Hyunjin was to you. 

“Maybe it is.” he leaned towards you with a smirk and you squealed a little, stepping away from him.

“Give it up. I’m taking the top bunk bed.” you pointed to the left side. 

“Not fair! I always take that one!” Hyunjin pouted.

“Tough luck, I called it first.” you smirked, taking off your jacket and throwing it up on the bed. 

“Or… we can both sleep up there?” Hyunjin said and you scoffed, pushing him away. 

“Like hell!” 

“Are y’all fighting this early?” Brendon came in, looking confused and disheveled. 

“No, it’s foreplay.” Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows and you made gagging noises. 

“Here’s your bag, y/n.” Ana appeared with your luggage. 

Aiden and Anthony came in after and everyone took some time to unpack and get settled. 

“I heard we have two pretty ladies with us, so you fellas gotta behave now.” you heard an unknown voice and leaned over to see who it belonged to.

“Oh, we always behave, Stu.” Hyunjin smirked. 

“Yes, especially you.” the man, Stu, rolled his eyes. 

“This is our main driver Stu.” Aiden introduced you and Ana to him. 

“Pleasure to meet you ladies. Hopefully the road won’t be too bumpy.” he winked before turning around and leaving. 

“Where is Bradley?” Anthony piped in suddenly.

“Who’s Bradley?” you asked, at this moment you just wanted to get everything over with and catch up on some sleep.

“Our sound guy.” Brendon answered. “And lights guy. He is underpaid and overworked, basically.” he added, giving Anthony a pointed look. 

“Hey, it’s not my fault Mike quit!” he lifted his hands up. “Besides, we’re picking someone up in the next town over. He’ll be our roadie along with Bradley.” 

As they started discussing, you slipped away to the bathroom, where you could change in peace and get ready for bed. 

You leaned on the counter, staring at yourself in the mirror as you listened to the muffled voices talking. 

Were you doing the right thing? 

Accepting to join another band when your heart still hurts from the sudden falling apart between your friends and band members… 

“Y/n, I need the bathroom!” Hyunjin’s voice brought you back to reality and you stood up straight. 

“I’m not done yet!” you yelled back. “You have another bathroom!” you added annoyingly, preparing to brush your teeth. 

“Aiden hogged it. Are you naked or something? Cause I swear I don’t mind.” 

You could just hear the smirk in his voice. 

Rolling your eyes, you opened the door and Hyunjin gave you the elevator eyes and they lingered on your legs in the shorts you put on, going up to your chest and lingering again before he looked up at your face. 

He was playing with his lip ring again, his cheeks rosy. 

“What do you want?” you spat.

“Just wanna brush my teeth.” he looked at you smugly. 

You didn’t say anything, just stepped aside and continued brushing your teeth. 

You opted to leave the door opened since it felt awkward to have them closed. 

“Isn’t this fun, us brushing our teeth together? It’s kinda domestic, don’t you think?” Hyunjin said suddenly, the familiar smirk on his face. 

“Yes, thrilling.” you answered sarcastically. “You don’t have to act nice, Hyunjin. Everyone knows we hate each other so let’s just not talk too much and try to coexist peacefully for the sake of everyone else on this tour.”

Hyunjin opened his mouth to answer but you quickly turned around and left, not wanting to get into it with him when you were tired and nervous. 

He smirked to himself, shaking his head. 

The only thing stuck in his brain at that moment was the way you said his name. 

God, he loved it. 

-

You slept for a few hours only, waking up early yet again as the bus rolled to a stop at a diner. 

“Rise and shine, princess.” Hyunjin’s head popped up in front of you as he held onto your bed.

“Fuck off.” you grabbed your pillow and smacked him with it, almost making him fall down but he managed to land on his feet. 

You heard a smack and Hyunjin saying ‘ow’ quietly before Aiden said,

“Come down if you’re hungry.” 

You chuckled to yourself, waiting for them to leave so you could get ready.

Of course, as soon as you sat down in a booth, Hyunjin pushed Brendon aside and quickly slid next to you. 

“Oh my god.” you rolled your eyes. 

You were squished between him and Ana on your other side, and he was too close for comfort. 

You could feel the heat of his body and smell the scent of his shampoo and body wash mixed with cigarettes. 

You tried to ignore the feelings stirring in your gut as you ordered.

“So, how did you like sleeping on top of me?” Hyunjin smirked, tilting his head. 

“Not as much as you liked sleeping under me, weirdo.” you scoffed at him and he chuckled.

“I liked it very much, so that must mean you liked it at least a little.” he said as the food arrived and your stomach growled. 

“Whatever you say.” you brushed him off and started to dig in. 

“We’re close to our first destination.” Anthony started after a sip of coffee. “We will arrive around 4pm and have lunch, then we get ready and do the soundcheck. Questions?”

Everyone shook their heads no. 

You suddenly felt nervous tingles running up your spine, and for some reason Hyunjin felt it. 

“Don’t worry princess, you’ll do great.” he smirked, placing his hand on top of your wrist. 

You snatched your hand away and looked at him. 

“I know I will, I was just wondering if you’ll be able to keep up with me.” you smirked back at him. 

“You’ll be surprised at how well I can keep up, baby.” Hyunjin leaned into your personal space, his eyes boring into yours and you felt your cheeks burning.

“Be nice, you two.” Ana chuckled.

“What? I haven't called him an asshole yet. Emphasis on yet.” 

Hyunjin laughed next to you, his arm brushing against yours.

Oh, he is so going to enjoy this.

-

It was such a good, familiar feeling to sit behind a drum kit after being the main vocalist and guitarist of your band for so long. 

The venue was empty at this moment and the sound of the drums echoing in the space was grand. 

You closed your eyes and started playing a groove to get into the mood and Hyunjin was lured towards the stage instantly. 

He watched you in awe even though he saw you play the drums before, they never had the name of his band on the front of them. 

Hyunjin felt proud; that his band has come so far and honored that you were now a part of their story. 

He hoped you’d enjoy the tour and judging by the blissful look on your face, you were off to a good start. 

“Let’s go, Hyun.” Brendon smacked his shoulder, pulling him back to reality. 

It was time for the soundcheck, and when everyone was finally on stage, tuning their instruments, you realized that this is real. 

Excitement replaced any nerves you had and you were ready to tear the stage apart. 

“Let’s jam a little.” Aiden smiled as everyone agreed.

He started to play a melody on his bass so you followed him with the drums.

You were so focused on grooving that you didn’t notice Hyunjin winking at his two other band members.

When it was time for him to start playing his guitar, Hyunjin decided to play totally out of tune. 

You looked up at him with your brows furrowed as you tried to follow him.

He changed it up suddenly, that familiar shit eating grin spreading on his face as you followed him yet again. 

Brendon and Aiden stopped playing as they observed the two of you, battling it out with your instruments. 

Hyunjin was trying hard to get on your nerves, push your buttons but you weren’t gonna let him in. 

“Having some trouble following, princess?” he yelled over the noise. 

You looked at him pointedly as he started to play another melody that made no sense and you’ve had enough. 

Hyunjin had a way of getting under your skin and he obviously knew that. 

Your arm lifted up on its own accord and you swung one of your drumsticks right at Hyunjin, aiming for his empty head. 

His eyes widened and he managed to dodge it in a close second as the drumstick clattered on the floor. 

“Ha! Attempted murder! Y’all saw that!” he pointed at you, while looking at his friends and you started laughing. 

“Don’t worry, even if it did hit your head, it couldn’t damage it more than it already is.” you smirked as Hyunjin huffed. 

“Oh baby, keep talking. Degradation is my thing.” he motioned towards his ear with his fingers and you made a disgusted face at him. 

Of course, the asshole laughed at your expression. 

“Guys, can we actually practice?” Brendon chimed in as Aiden nodded. 

Instead of answering verbally, you started playing so everyone joined in. 

-

“Are you nervous?” Aiden asked as the venue filled up and it all became real.

“Nope, I’m ecstatic!” you answered, twirling your drumstick in your hand. 

“Trying to murder me once again?” Hyunjin appeared next to you as you almost hit him with it.

“Trust me, if I was trying to kill you, you’d already be dead.” 

“Nobody’s killing anyone, we’re already short on staff.” Anthony smirked before putting his arms around Hyunjin and Brendon’s shoulders. 

“Good luck guys! And y/n, of course. I know y’all will do great.” Anthony smiled. 

Ana came up to you to hug you. 

“Good luck, babe!” she smiled. 

“Thank you.” you gave her a bone crushing hug, she was always like a sister to you and having her here now meant a lot to you. 

As soon as you walked out on stage, the screams of all the people that came to see you perform were deafening but heartwarming. 

Hyunjin was the main character on stage, that you were convinced of as whatever he did resulted in even louder screaming. 

You didn’t mind being the backbone of the band, playing drums to you was a meditative and transcending experience and anything you were angry or upset about, you could take it out while playing. 

Performing with Lycoris Radiata was fun as fuck, even more than you hoped for; seeing Hyunjin up close made you realize just why people loved him so much. 

He was charismatic, cool and lame at the same time, ethereally beautiful and down to earth, fun but sensitive, alluring but cute, he gave his all and more. 

He was everything wrapped up in one and you wondered how that was possible. 

A particular moment struck you; when you were playing a slower song, Hyunjin sang so delicately, his back turned to you as the lights beamed down on his frame, his sweaty hair and skin making him look like he was glowing. 

Your heart skipped a beat but you ignored it. 

Near the end of the show, Hyunjin did his usual routine which consisted of making everyone’s panties wet; it was time for the sex song he always sang near the end which made you feel embarrassed and uncomfortable but something about being on stage with them got you in the right mood for it.

The part came up; and Hyunjin was on the floor, moaning and humping the air as you followed his moans with the heavy sound of your drums. 

Hyunjin smirked, throwing his head back to look at you as he continued his ministrations and you continued following him on the drums. 

Aiden and Brendon joined in as Hyunjin became louder, resulting in you hitting the drums harder as the sounds all came together in a crescendo. 

You wished that you could press your thighs together to create pressure and friction because the whole thing managed to get you wet too. 

A part of you felt ashamed but you didn’t give a flying fuck in that moment, completely letting go of everything as the four of you continued jamming together. 

Hyunjin stood up with the biggest smile on his face, winking at you as he ran a lap around the stage before literally diving into the audience. 

You gasped to yourself but continued playing the outro to the performance while Hyunjin was being groped by horny fanboys and fangirls. 

Security was there to pull him back up on stage safely and Hyunjin sang the end of the song before screaming a ‘thank you’ into the mic. 

After all four of you bowed a hundred times, you finally ran backstage where a very sweaty Hyunjin started hugging everyone, eventually coming up to you. 

“Don’t even think about it.” you said as he opened his arms. 

“Not thinking, just doing it.” he smirked and before you could run away, his arms wrapped around you and he pulled you into his body. 

“Ew!” you squirmed against him and he chuckled. 

“Don’t pretend you don’t like it.” he held you tighter and your heart leaped out of your chest. 

The bastard smelled so good even after sweating so much and it annoyed you how seemingly perfect he was. 

“What, a gross sweaty man slobbering all over me?” you scrunched up your face as you finally pushed him away.

“I wasn’t slobbering but if you’re into that-”

“Please shut up while I’m still in a good mood.” you stopped him and he laughed. 

“It’s so fun messing with you, darling.” Hyunjin ruffled your hair as you practically hissed at him, making him laugh again. 

“You guys were fucking amazing!” Anthony yelled excitedly. 

“I don’t know about you but I need some food.” Aiden piped in. 

“I’m feeling thirsty, honestly.” Brendon added.

“Are we partying or what?” Hyunjin smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Hell yeah, we are!” Anthony high-fived him. 

You ended up having the afterparty in the bus, ordering some food and acquiring some beer as you sat around in the living space. 

Of course, as soon as you walked in, you ran for the shower, with Hyunjin cascading behind you and asking if he could join you because “it’ll be done faster”. 

“Dream about it, asshole!” you yelled before closing the bathroom door. 

“Oh, I do.” Hyunjin smirked to himself, but you didn’t hear him. 

The excitement of the performance slowly washed away from your body along with Hyunjin’s scent that lingered after he hugged you, and you felt happy and cozy. 

All of you finally settled down to eat and Hyunjin claimed the spot next to you, of course, his long slender fingers stealing your fries constantly.

“Will you back off! You have your own fries.” you slapped his arm as he whined. 

“Yours are tastier.” he claimed with that familiar smirk of his.

“Are they now?” you smirked back. 

“Mhm.” he nodded pointedly.

“Let’s see then.” you grabbed your box and dumped all your fries into his box before mixing them up. “Pick one up and distinguish if it’s from your box or mine.”

Hyunjin stared at you with his lips parted before he smiled. 

“Aw, we’re sharing.” he said and continued eating as you heard some chuckles around the table. 

“For fucks sake.” you muttered, shaking your head.

The rest of the night was full of chatter and laughter, and you didn’t mind Hyunjin’s arm or leg brushing against you ever so often, or his loud laughter ringing in your ears or him constantly poking at you. 

It’s barely been one day on tour and he wasn’t as unbearable as you thought he’d be. 

Everyone was tired and you had to hit the road so it was finally peaceful, before a loud scream startled everyone.

“Oh no, I am going to die!” Hyunjin wailed dramatically.

“What’s wrong with him?” you rolled your eyes as Aiden came in. 

“He lost his teddy bear.” 

“He what?” you chuckled in disbelief.

“Hyunjin’s teddy, he always takes it with him. He’s had it since he was a baby and he’s convinced it brings him luck.” Aiden shrugged and Hyunjin ran into the living area.

“We are doomed!” he said, grabbing your arms and shaking you. 

“Calm down, it must be around here somewhere.” you sighed.

“Help me look?” Hyunjin batted his eyelashes at you as Aiden slipped away.

“Hyunjin, I’m tired, I need to get some sleep.” you whined. 

“Me too! But I can’t sleep without my teddy.” he said, you couldn’t believe he was serious. “I will crawl up to your bunk and annoy you all night if you don’t help me look.” he added, smirking.

“Fine, I’ll help you.” you rolled your eyes.

“Wow, you don’t want me in your bed at all?” he kept smirking. 

“Zip it. Let’s find your precious teddy.”

“Yes!” Hyunjin scurried after you as the two of you basically did a search and rescue mission for his favorite plush. 

Eventually, you walked into the other bathroom, finding the old teddy sitting on the counter.

“There you are.” you picked up, chuckling at the state of it. 

You couldn’t help it as you sniffed the teddy and sure enough it smelled just like its owner. 

“Found it!” you yelled and Hyunjin bursted in, panting and smiling. 

“Oh my god!” he exclaimed, grabbing the teddy and then you as he enveloped you in a hug for the second time that night. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Hyunjin held you tightly and you chuckled. 

“Alright, you’re thankful, I get it. You can let go now.” you said, patting his back. 

“I owe you.” he muttered.

“I really didn’t do anything.” 

“You did, trust me.” he smiled. 

As you laid in your bunk bed that night, you couldn’t stop thinking about Hyunjin. 

He seemed somehow different or you were just now seeing different sides of him that you didn’t see before. 

You didn’t hate him completely. 

-

Ten days on tour and things were going great. 

Every show was better than the last one, every venue bigger than the last one, every note played made Lycoris Radiata mean more and more to you. 

Tonight was no exception as you ripped the stage once again, this time Hyunjin ended up lifting Aiden and spinning him at the end which almost made the poor man throw up from excitement. 

“This was Lycoris Radiata, see you next time!” and with that you ran backstage where Hyunjin had to hug everyone, even asking for a group hug. 

You had to humor him. 

When your head finally hit the pillow, you couldn’t sleep even though you were exhausted. 

You kept replaying one particular moment from the show in your head. 

It was while Hyunjin was singing his famous sex song, before the moaning part, he came up to you and sang while looking at you. 

You kept playing and looking at him intently as he sang the lewd lyrics right into your face. 

Before he took off, Hyunjin lifted his hand, making a V shape with his fingers, doing the licking motion between them, his tongue piercing shining in the big stage light. 

Your mouth fell agape for a moment as you felt hotness spread all over your body and he smirked smugly when you made a tiny mistake in your playing. 

People didn’t notice but he did. 

And he was satisfied with it. 

You couldn’t stop thinking about it, and it had been a while since you’ve had a little ‘you time’ but it was hard to do that with so many people in the bus. 

Your eyes fluttered closed and you sighed, hearing some shuffling beneath you. 

“Y/n?” Hyunjin suddenly climbed up into your bed, startling you as you sat up and turned on the little light inside. 

“W-what are you doing?” 

“I can’t sleep. And I figured you weren’t sleeping either.” Hyunjin whispered.

“And how did you figure that?” you clutched your blanket. 

“You sighed like a hundred times.” he chuckled quietly.

“What do you want?” you rolled your eyes with a smile. 

“To hang out.” he pulled out a deck of cards out of nowhere. 

“We can’t make too much noise, we’ll wake everyone up.” you shook your head. 

“Fine then we’ll do something quiet.” Hyunjin smirked, tossing the cards aside and laying down next to you, his eyes closing.

“Turn the light off, sweetheart.” he cracked one eye open as you stared at him in disbelief. 

“You are not sleeping in my bunk. Go back downstairs.” you whispered.

“No.” he answered simply. 

“Hyunjin, I’m warning you, I will push you down.”

“Will you? You’ll wake up the whole bus.” he smirked. 

“God, you’re so annoying!” you whisper-yelled, giving up as you laid down, turning away from Hyunjin. 

“Be nice and share your blanket.” Hyunjin’s breath hit the back of your neck, making you shiver as goosebumps rose on your skin. 

“Need anything else?” you muttered as he hogged your blanket and your personal space. 

“A goodnight kiss?” Hyunjin leaned over you, peering at your face hopefully.

You gave him the side eye and he chuckled. 

“Maybe some other time, hm?” he asked. 

“Go to sleep.” you said and he laid down behind you. 

“Goodnight, darling.” Hyunjin wanted to reach out and touch your hair but he figured you’d probably break his arm. 

You didn’t answer, your heart beating so hard that you were afraid it was shaking the bed and Hyunjin could feel it. 

You quickly turned off the light and tried to calm down.

There was enough space to where he wasn’t touching you but you felt his warmth, his scent, his breath on your skin.

It was driving you crazy and making you feel calm at the same time. 

You managed to fall asleep somehow.

-

At some point, in the middle of the night, Hyunjin and you gravitated closer to each other and you ended up in his arms. 

When you slowly blinked your eyes open and realized you were staring straight at Hyunjin’s chest, you jolted away from him, making him groan quietly. 

“Where you goin’?” he mumbled into your pillow, trying to grab you.

“As far as I can from you.” you said, wiggling out of his arm that eventually caught you as he groaned again.

“Something’s poking my ass.” Hyunjin gasped when he rolled over and you laughed. 

“It’s the cards, you idiot.” rolling your eyes, you left the bunk feeling embarrassed and insane as your face heated up. 

What are you doing, sleeping in the same bed as Hyunjin?

You hate him, right?

You weren’t so sure anymore. 

Yes, he was annoying but somehow that became kind of endearing. 

He has bugged you every single day since the tour started and if he suddenly stopped, it’d feel weird. 

You sighed, shaking off your thoughts as you grabbed your phone, munching on your breakfast. 

“Morning, y/n. Tell me am I crazy or did Hyunjin sleep over in your bunk?” Ana smirked at you as she brought two coffees. 

“You are crazy. But yes, he slept in my bunk.” you said. 

“Interesting.” she smirked, lifting one eyebrow up. 

“Hey, I saw you sleeping in Anthony’s bunk multiple times. What’s that about?” you teased as you opened up your insta. 

“Well, everyone knows we have a thing for each other. You and Hyunjin though… oh yeah, you have a thing too.” 

“We don’t have a thing.” you quickly said as Ana chuckled. 

“Right. Mhm.” 

You continued scrolling, and that’s when you noticed it; the hate comments on your posts. 

‘She’s just a slut who’s after Hyunjin’

‘She’s delusional if she thinks he’d like her like she’s ugly lmao’

‘Untalented bitch’

‘Get her away from my Hyunjin’

‘She deserved her band falling apart they were shit anyways’

‘Y/n should retire from the music scene’

Your eyes started stinging with tears as you skimmed through the comment section. 

“What’s wrong?” Ana tilted her head to look at you. 

You slid your phone to her and she gasped. 

“You know these people are probably some jealous, unsuccessful suckers.” she said. 

“I need some air.” you sucked in a breath before hurriedly leaving the bus. 

“What’s with her?” Hyunjin walked in. “Is she mad at me?”

“No, look.” Ana showed him your phone. 

Hyunjin frowned instantly, running out of the bus after you. 

You stood not too far away with a cigarette in your hand as you hugged yourself with your other arm and Hyunjin’s eyes softened when he saw you shivering in the wind.

“I knew you’d forget to bring a jacket.” Hyunjin put his leather jacket around you, smoothing his hand over your back a few times. 

You exhaled a puff of smoke, not answering him as you melted into his big jacket. 

Hyunjin took out a cigarette for himself and you reached out with your lighter, lighting it up as he smirked. 

“Since when do you smoke?” he asked.

“Well, I’m feeling extra stressed right now so I needed something to take the edge off.” you shrugged. 

“Because of the comments?” 

“I don’t wanna talk about them.” 

“I’m sorry.” Hyunjin sighed. 

“It’s not your fault.” you said. 

“I feel like it is.” 

Hyunjin was standing so close to you that his arm was touching yours while both of you continued smoking.

You stood silently next to each other for a few more moments as the clouds passed you by, and slowly but surely Hyunjin closed the gap between your hands as he  touched yours briefly before he wrapped his pinky around yours. 

“Hey, you know I’m honored you’re part of my band.” his tone was serious and you couldn’t bear to look at him or you’d burst into tears. 

“I know.” you smiled as you kept looking into the distance. 

He smiled too, his eyes focused on you.

Hyunjin had your back; and that was a pinky promise.

-

Finally, you arrived to your next destination, and you’d be there for a few days which meant you had to check into a hotel. 

You were glad to have some time to yourself, you needed a real shower and a real bed and just some time to get away from everything, recharge your batteries. 

You just finished with your shower and skincare when your phone annoyed you, buzzing with texts constantly. 

When you grabbed it you realized that you forgot to change Hyunjin’s name from ‘asshole’. 

You laughed to yourself, deciding to just add a little heart at the end. 

asshole<3: y/n what are you doing

asshole<3: why aren’t you answering

asshole<3: i’m BOREEEED

asshole<3: y/n!!!! 

asshole<3: princess?

asshole<3: i’m coming to your room

“Shit!” you exclaimed just in time when Hyunjin knocked on your door.

“Go away, Hyunjin!” you yelled on the other side. 

“Never! I will wake the whole damn floor if you don’t open this door.” he banged against it. 

“Spoiled brat.” you muttered to yourself before opening the door. 

“Oh.” Hyunjin looked you up and down, your hair still wet from the shower, your little nightgown accentuating all your goodies. 

“Did you dress up for me?” he smirked as his tongue darted out to play with his lip piercing; a habit you picked up on.

“Oh yeah, I was just waiting for you to come knocking on my door.” you answered sarcastically.

“Oh come on, I brought snacks.” he lifted up a few bags. 

“You should’ve said that first.” you stepped aside, letting him in. 

“So, are you here just because you’re bored?” you scoffed as he practically skipped to your bed before throwing himself on it. 

“No, I’m here cause I know you miss me.” he smirked at you. “I spared you the walk to my room, princess.” 

“Oh yeah, I am the one who missed you.” you said pointedly. 

“I know you are.” he wiggled his eyebrows and you groaned, throwing a pillow at him but the slick bastard caught it. 

“I’m gonna change into something else.” you said, feeling a bit self-conscious. 

“Into what? After that outfit, the only logical thing is to have nothing on.”

“Wouldn’t you like that?” you snickered. 

“I would.” he smirked. 

“Changing right now!” you left for the bathroom to put on some actual pjs. 

“Don’t cross this line, Hyunjin.” you pointed as the two of you settled in your bed, ready to watch a movie and snack. 

He smiled his shit eating grin and put his finger over the line. 

“Whoops, crossed it.”

“Next time you lose a finger.” you threatened.

“Where is it gonna be misplaced?” he smirked. 

“Not where you think.”

“You don’t know what I’m thinking.” he leaned closer to you. “But I can show you.”

“No thanks. Just watch the movie.” 

It was quiet for some time until Hyunjin spoke up. 

“I’m thinking of getting another tattoo.”

“Oh?” you didn’t take your eyes off the screen. “Where?”

“My back. I wanna finish what I started with my arm and shoulder.” he answered. 

“Which is?” you looked at him and he smirked. 

“Glad you asked.” he said, taking his shirt off. 

“Woah, woah, what are you doing?” you jolted as he tossed it aside. 

“Showing you my tattoos.” he giggled. “See, it’s one big picture. I sketched the original on my paper, it’s a flower’s life story. From a little seed all the way to the dust it becomes after it wilts forever. It’s not finished yet though.” he turned and you gulped. 

“That’s a beautiful thought actually.” 

“Feel the flowers.” Hyunjin turned his shoulder to you. 

“I’m not gonna touch your tattoos.” you said. 

“Come on, you know you want to.” he taunted you. 

“No, I don’t.” you shook your head. 

“Yes, you do. You started ogling me as soon as I took my shirt off.”

“That’s because of your musc- nothing, nevermind.” you quickly caught yourself, biting your tongue as your face started burning. 

“Because of what? My muscles? You like them?” he started flexing immediately.

“That’s disgusting, stop acting like that.” you slapped his arm without thinking and you both froze. 

“Oh.” Hyunjin smirked before taking your hand in his. “Really, I want you to feel my tattoos.” 

“Fine if it gets you to shut up.” 

Your fingers gently traced the delicate art on Hyunjin’s skin, starting from his wrist up his arm as you watched goosebumps rise on his skin. 

You took your time to trace every leaf and petal as Hyunjin looked at you intently, his breaths coming out shaky as you traced over his arm, your fingers swirling with the intricate patterns. 

Your hand came up to his shoulder as you continued tracing, his skin was so smooth and he was so warm under your touch. 

“Y/n.” Hyunjin whispered, his hand covering yours as he leaned in closer to you, his eyelids hooded. 

Your eyes widened when you realized he was about to kiss you and you quickly moved away. 

“What the hell are you doing?!” you stood up and Hyunjin frowned at you. 

“What does it look like I’m doing?!” 

“Trying to get into my pants!” you scoffed. “I think you should sleep in your room.”

“B-but, it’s not like that!” Hyunjin stood up and you backed away.

“I know what it’s like. Please leave.” 

“Fine.” Hyunjin looked dejected as he grabbed his phone and shirt. “Teddy is lonely without me anyways.” he said, making a theatrical leave out of your room as he dragged his feet and kept giving you pointed looks. 

You were almost close to telling him he can stay, but as soon as he leaned in, you panicked and didn’t know how to react so you kept your mouth shut.

And you continued spiralling when he left, thinking about if he actually likes you or just wants to fuck you like he does to any girl. 

You’ve seen him with girls on his arms constantly and while you always thought what you felt was hate or disgust; in this moment you recognized it was jealousy and it didn’t feel good at all.

taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @porangporangmeong @laylasbunbunny @laughatdanger @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @starlost-mochi-x @saintcosette @ooshyana @frehyun @scarlet789 @skzdust @simpforleeknaur @schniti-is-in-the-house

part 2

[sibyllinebooks]

more stiles fluff pls bc hes so lover boy

thank you SO much for asking i love stiles so much he IS lover boy i need him desperately

also sorry this is so short i’m still trying to kick whatever sickness i have </3

he’s so stupid in love it’s sickening ( or maybe that’s me but )

constantly talking about you and/or wanting other people to bring you up so he can talk about you more

he’s so big on PDA, it really doesn’t matter what form. he’s just so in love with you and he doesn’t care who knows it.

lingering hugs and forehead kisses and ruffling your hair and staring at you fondly while someone else is talking to him

“stiles are you even listening to me” and the answer is always no. not when you’re around. his thoughts are always preoccupied by you.

if you’re not too big on PDA though, he’ll try to tone it down and settle for holding your hand or playing with your fingers while you’re standing next to each other. he’s fidgety and he likes touching you, he can’t help it.

i feel like if you’re watching a movie together, you’re in his arms. you claim it’s because he’s a nice pillow ( and he is ) but really, it’s the feeling of being safe.

you know as long as you’re with him, nothing and no one is touching you.

he always searches for you in crowded rooms. you’re the first thing he looks for, the first person his eyes settle on. he doesn’t always have to be with you but he at least has to know you’re around.

i feel like he’s only ever fully vulnerable when he’s alone with you. his whole life is sarcasm and jokes to cover his real feelings but with you, it’s so easy to let it out.

sure, you talk about the deeper things that he doesn’t tell most people but it’s more than that. you make his racing mind quiet. you calm him in a way that he hasn’t had in maybe ever.

in those moments, it’s just you and him laying in bed and he looks so peaceful, so gentle it makes your heart ache. your fingers are running through his hair and his arms are around your waist and his head on your chest and there’s never been a more perfect moment.

i feel like the first time he says i love you is an accident. he’s been overthinking on how to tell you for ages, worried you may not say it back that it just comes out.

and of course you say it back. after that, he says it all the time. you could be sitting in the passenger seat of his jeep and he’s driving and he’s staring at you instead of the road and you ask him why he’s staring

“i just love you, that’s all” and he shrugs like that’s the only possible answer he could give

stiles is the type of boyfriend who sends you random articles about a subject just because you said you liked it once.

he does like seeing you in his clothes so he will always lend them to you. but also, he likes getting them back once they start to smell like you.

he’s also the type to sing you cheesy love songs off key to annoy you ( but you also find it endearing— not that you’ll tell him that )

he drives you to school a lot. he says it’s better than the bus and you’re not even that much out of his way so it’s really no problem ( and it’s 100% an excuse to spend more time with you and make sure you get to school okay. whether you actually get there on time is not relevant. )

he’s always telling you about the crazy shit he overheard from his dad’s phone calls and about school gossip ( because let’s be honest, that boy yaps. he knows shit. )

he shares his snacks with you. ( it’s such a simple thing i know but where i come from, sharing food is a love language )

speaking of food, i feel like you guys have dinner together a lot. if the sheriff has to work late, you’re either inviting stiles over to eat with your family or you and stiles bring food to the sheriff’s office to make sure his dad eats too.

and on the subject of the sheriff, he adores you. he’s not really the type to say it aloud but he can see how happy you make stiles and how much you take care of him. and he does appreciate that you take care of him too. it’s been a while since they’ve had someone else to look out for them both.

stiles will do matching stuff with you. halloween costumes? check. matching pajamas? check. same flannels? check. he may have complained about it at first but once you convinced him he was hooked. he thinks it’s adorable.

[doesntmeanitsmeaningless]

To celebrate it being the last show of FITFWT, what have your favourite moments been of the tour? 💕💕

Awww! I'm touched to get this message - thanks for including me anon! 🥰 Many of my favourite moments were ones shared fangirling with my mom (the stan who introduced me to Louis in the first place). We live on separate continents but happened to be together at the beginning of the tour and I remember us both giggling and exclaiming and squealing over outfit choices, shenanigans, song choices etc in realtime together! I loved the friendship bracelet exchange too. Knowing my humble creations have been shared on the NAm and European legs... and wearing the ones - especially the adorable 28 - I was gifted gives me a strong sense of connection to all of us. Going to the venue early and seeing the Beat the Street bus with mom will also be a special memory. It made it all that much more real: THE bus that we'd seen so often in some clip. Right there. It was the perfect stepping stone to later really seeing Louis on stage. He's for real! More generally, Phoenix's Champion track pants are burned into my brain forever - insane! I won't forget the London O2 show's buildup, buzz and then victorious delivery (in THAT outfit) either. The Vancouver rose shirt launched me into outer space. 505 will forever be a key tour memory too - it was flaming hot every night and while I hope dearly he'll go on singing it forever, it might be like Beautiful War was to LTWT...? And the surprise gift that was the Live Album fills me with immense gratitude every time I hear it. It's a way of making the moment last forever. I could go on. But I'll end on gratitude. Louis feels it every night. I feel it. So many of us do. This was our collective FITF tour. We built it, show by show, together. And that's what will stick with me the longest: this feeling of having been a part of something bigger than me.

[chemicallady]

Perfect Pitch

Prologue

A/N: This is just the introduction chapter. If you will be invested in this idea I'll write the entire FF!

Couple: Noah Sebastian x Reader (in which reader is a talented musician and the new member of Bad Omens. This is an Alternative Universe in which the guys decide to pick up someone to fill in for Vincent.)

Content Warning: this FF will include describing different delicate subjects like states of anxiety, depression, gender violence ( bad place, the industry, for a girl) and possible suicidal thought. Be careful if you feel exposed by one or more of this topics. Feel free to write me in PM about anything ♡ Since the main characters of this story are real people, I want to underline that this is the idea I have of them and not the reality since I don't know Bad Omens. I don't want to be disrespectful in any way because I have tons of respect for the guys and their job. I also don't want to dig in their private lives or whatsoever aside the things they reveal by themselves on interviews of post on social, present and past.

Summary:  reader has always wanted to be a musician her entire life. She pictures herself as first chair in a majestic orchestra, but thanks to her soft spot for metalcore, destiny is leading her somewhere special.

....

◇◇◇

The first time you have seen Noah Seabastian, you were in the pit. Vans Warped tour 2017, a fucking hot texan day. You had never heard about Bad Omens before, but they had such an incredible energy on stage. Good enough to surf crowding in front of the barricades to look closer. The bass guitar player smiked at you when he noticed that your shirt was lifted by the continued movement of hands all over your body. In the moment the security put your ass back to the ground you had found a pair of deep brown eyes on you. The singer was asking the crowd to sing along the main course but you had no idea about the lyrics so you simply smirked, lifting all way your tshit and unreveal the bra.

And.... thats it.

Rock'n'roll and a couple of extra beer made you brave.

Nothing less, nothing more.

No hot stories as a groupie walking her way to a bus tour or anything else. Just a glaze, one among millions.

At the end of that hot summer you started to looking for a job after you graduated at Julliard in NYC. It was the best time of your life. You have always been a talented violinist since you were 5. The prodigy from a very small town, ready to astonish New York.

But it never happened.

Always third chair.

Moving around the country as a ball in an arcade grew you tired after 6 months. The low salaries, the necessity of having a home for more than six weeks....

Settle down. Adopt a cat.

You wanted some stability.

So you started to work as a waitress. You have no idea of how you ended again in texas, but life in here is simpler compared with NYC.

Almost a year had passed when you met Shane and Zac. Summer was running out fast when the Oh Sleepers played in the small pub you were working. A couple of words after and a decent amount of good luck brought the singer to share with you an important information.

《 if you can play the bass, I know a band is looking for someone to fill in.》

You can play bass. You can actually play five instrument and sing. This is your only talent. Music. Feeling it. Being able to figure the notes in your head just listening at them once.

The ability of discover a F# when a pillow fall from the sofa on the ground. The ritmic dissonance of a A and a G in your steps while you walk home drunk.

The perfect pitch.

At least, you could work as a music engineer.

Shane was intrigued by the way you tuned a guitar whitout flicking before their show and from your musical curricula. It is far more than it should be in the industry. But he also saw something in you. How much you have work your way though the mud and sweat to end up in a pub, verbaly molested by creepy guys on daily basis.

Such a waste of rare talent.

《 try your luck. That's is his phone number. See if he still wants a replacement or if he's fine with is guitarrist as bass player. I lost track over their decisions, but their good friends of me. The singer slays on stage》

You picked up that piece of paper with a bit of concern. For this guy privacy in a first place but also for you. You were dreaming about orchestras, beautiful dresses with long sleeves to cover your tattoos.... but you have always wanted to be a rockstar.

A queen.

And you have never wanted to be that broke.

So... Why not?

《 alright. Thanks man. Just... what's the name of this guy?》

《 noah. Noah sebastian》.

***

I chose the Oh Sleeper to introduce bad omens to the reader because I've always find this video hilarious. Feel free to give me your opinion about this prologue!

[nightswithkookmin]

Okay time out

I'm reading through the comments on my last post and some of yall are wilding in there losing the whole entire plot👁👄👁

Please watch your language. I don't want to make space for anyone's hate and vitriol towards anyone. If you've been in the Fandom for more than a month you'd know Kim Taehyung is not a bad person at all. He's not. A little nuts sure but bad???? Cmon now.

If you hate him or anyone in bts this is not the space for it.

What I want is to hold space for anyone who feels disillusioned and jaded by the whole vmin situation. In case that intention didn't come through lemme reiterate. WE DON'T HATE TAEHYUNG ON THIS CORNER OF THE INTERNET.

You can talk about being disillusioned with Jikook and how you think things are not the same with them and I'll make space for that. Similarly you can talk about vmin or any ship for that matter and express your opinions about their dynamic and I'll hold space for that.

But please don't hate on nobody😔

Vmin have one of the best enviable friendships in all of Kpop. We love to see that sort of genuine love. It's healing, it's beautiful. Love in and of itself is a beautiful thing and we love to celebrate that.

And for me it's really hard to think of Kim Taehyung, the guy who threw a producer under the bus for preventing him from featuring Jimin on his song because he thought it was gay, same guy who saves fan art and recommends them to Jimin- there is a trail of moon on JMs back all thanks to Tae, when Jimin dropped Vibe he shared it to his story, he liked the post, he was commenting and interacting on JMs posts- when JK was silent as well. He even said he had saves a video of JM he was going to post on Jms birthday!

How is this person then a bad person at all. I don't understand. Can we talk about this one mishap without rubbishing and invalidating all the love effort and consideration he's shown towards Jimin up until now?

Do I think he could have done more to support JM, I do. Simply because he's done it in the past. He stayed up with us to watch Vibe when it dropped!

I'm just mad at him for staying quiet and leaving fans to do all the heavy lifting when he, JK, Suga are one of the biggest PJMs on earth. I'm hurt, I'm disappointed, and yes I'm crying my eyes out over here cos everything that has happened over JMs release overwhelms me.

Or maybe I'm too much of a romantic and I keep wandering back to moments of JM running to him and comforting him and promising he'll take responsibility for him. I keep wandering back to them talking about how much they protected eachother from bullies and I hoped he would lead the chorus and stand up for Jimin this time around too.

vmin are not perfect. They have their issues. But they also have one of the best relationship dynamics in kpop. Yet I feel I can't even vent out the frustration I feel over this, over the gradual decline of their ship, Bangtan friendship, or even express my insecurities over vmin without being overly cautious so as not to enable their antis and it's so frustrating.

We can't tell them how to love eachother. We can't do that. And there's always a possibility they know something we do not know. He's closer to JM than you and I. For all you know, he isn't even aware how these things affect his own fans who support him with Jimin.

This is something Jimin is constantly aware of and is good at- self awareness- but when it comes to Jungkook and Taehyung not so much.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to go back to pouting cos Tae sucks. He can step on leggos

I'm open to hearing theories about why you think he didn't say anything about Face.

No, it's not because he hates Jimin 🤺

Do you think it's because JM chose JK to do letters with and not him?🤔

Jk didn't say anything bout Vibe either and when he decided to sing that song he only knew JMs part💀🤧

Either way, he needs to make this right else I'm sending poop emojis on his next live💩

[frozenhuntress67]

Piano Bar *Austin Butler x Plus Size!Reader

TW: There is a little self-body shaming I suppose. I'm plus sized and often think of myself in these scenarios

Imagine being a cast member on SNL and getting Austin to go out for drinks with some of you only to admit the feels the two of you have been catching for one another after a few drinks and a song

I was chatting away after rehearsals with Cecily and Lizzo when the topic came up. We usually went out for drinks at least once after rehearsals and they had been goading me to invite our host for the week.

"He has been making eyes at you all week! Go ask him to go out with us!" Cecily urged.

"You're crazy both of you, what would a guy as sweet, funny, and handsome as him want with someone like me?" I asked my eyes meeting the floor.

"Hey, hey none of that. I see a beautiful, funny, sweet girl who is worth way more than she thinks she is." Lizzo chimed in. "Now put on your grown-up girl pants and ask that gorgeous boy out for drinks!"

"Okay, okay! I'm going!" I said with a laugh and made my way towards the host's dressing room. I took a moment for myself before taking a deep breath and knocking on the door. He opened it rather quickly popping his head out.

"Hey, (y/n) right?" He asked.

"That's me, some of us are going out for drinks tonight and wondered if you'd like to come with? Someone's setting up a shuttle bus and should be here in about a half an hour? Unless you're tired from rehearsal which I totally understand." I replied trying not to ramble and getting totally flustered along the way.

"No, no, I'm not too tired I'd love to join you guys. Drinks sound great." He said.

"Great! That's great like I said we'll all be meeting in the lobby in about half an hour. See you there." I replied before walking away and letting out a breath I didn't even know I was holding in and returned to where Lizzo and Cecily were waiting.

"So?" They asked in unison.

"He said yes, I swear that might have been cringier than my first round of auditions."

"Perfect, and I have just the thing for you to wear. I found it and thought of you, my friend." Cecily said handing me a bag. Inside was the most beautiful vintage dress.

"Cecily, I can't accept this it's too much."

"You can wear it for me as a going away present, you've got to hold down the fort here for me, you're a gifted actress and a great friend. You're going to great things (y/n). But first I want you to allow yourself to be happy." She said shaking the bag in my direction once more. I took it and went into one of the bathrooms.

I put on the dress and paired it with a red leather jacket and red boots. Was I crazy wearing something like this in December? Maybe but I couldn't care. When I stepped out to face them again, they cheered.

"You're hot girl!" Lizzo said and I couldn't help but blush. "You should come work for me as a model for Yitty."

"Stop it, we need to get downstairs." I spoke. The two nodded and we made our way down to the lobby of Rockefeller Center. I still wanted to freeze a little when my eyes met Austin's but when I truly saw the way he was looking at me I couldn't help the smile that graced my face. "Hello again." I said to him. I told myself tonight I wasn't going to let my own shitty self-esteem hold me back.

"Hi, you uh, you look great." He replied and I was so glad for the cold that flushed my cheeks to hide the blush he caused.

"Thanks, you uh, clean up pretty well too." The horn of the shuttle bus interrupted the moment. "Shall we?" I asked leading the way to the bus. When we got off, I groaned seeing the bar the girls picked. "You guys didn't tell me we were coming here."

"What's wrong with this place?" Austin asked me.

"It's a piano bar and I am a frequent performer on my nights off from the show." I admitted.

"You brought me here when I hosted, it should be a rite of passage." Lizzo intercepted. "And besides it's not as though you can't sing (y/n)."

"You sing?" Austin asked.

"Not professionally and I certainly won't be playing any famous musicians anytime soon but yes I dabble." I joked. "Maybe you'll get to see after a drink or two." Even without liquid courage I found myself flirting. Perhaps it was the way he looked at me in the lobby that gave 0me the boost of self-confidence I needed. We all settled in and after a few drinks Sal the owner finally asked the question.

"So (y/n), what'll be tonight?" He asked. The question had run through my mind since we arrived. It was silent for a moment until my fellow cast members began to chant my name.

"(y/n), (y/n), (y/n) ..."They chanted and then I looked at Austin who just nodded and with that one look I knew exactly what I was singing and for whom it was. My feelings that I'd shoved down all week finally decided to come to the surface. I looked at. Sal.

"Fever by Peggy Lee." I said and made my way up to the microphone after a quick shot and the removal of my leather jacket. He made his way over to the piano and let the band know my selection. I snapped my fingers along to the sound of the bass.

Never know how much I love you Never know how much I care When you put your arms around me I get a fever that's so hard to bear

You give me fever When you kiss me Fever when you hold me tight Fever In the mornin' A fever all through the night

Sun lights up the day time Moon lights up the night I light up when you call my name And you know I'm gonna treat you right

You give me fever When you kiss me Fever when you hold me tight Fever in the mornin' A fever all through the night

Everybody's got the fever That is somethin' you all know Fever isn't such a new thing Fever started long ago

Romeo loved Juliet Juliet, she felt the same When he put his arms around her He said, "Julie baby, you're my flame"

Thou givest fever When we kisseth Fever with thy flaming youth Fever I'm on fire Fever yeah, I burn forsooth

Captain Smith and Pocahontas Had a very mad affair When her daddy tried to kill him She said, "Daddy, oh, don't you dare"

He gives me fever With his kisses Fever when he holds me tight Fever I'm his missus And daddy, won't you treat him right?

Now you've listened to my story Here's the point that I have made Chicks were born to give you fever Be it fahrenheit or centigrade

They give you fever When we kiss them Fever, if you live you learn Fever 'Til you sizzle Oh, what a lovely way to burn Oh, what a lovely way to burn What a lovely way to burn And what a lovely way to burn

When it was over our cast mates started to trickle off catching cabs back to their respective homes.

"That was amazing!" He asked.

"Well, I don't think I would've had the courage to sing something like that if it weren't for the way you looked at me when we left. Everyone kept telling me you might like me but I thought they were wrong. But I think I've been feeling the same things this week too." I admitted.

"I'm really glad to hear that (y/n) Maybe after the shows over we could go on a real date?"

"I'd like that very much."I said. We sat there fro another hour before getting a cab and hsaring it until he got back to his hotel. We exchanged numbers before he left.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked.

"You can count on that." I replied. He began climbing out of the cab and walking towards his hotel. The cabbie started to drive off but quickly stopped when he saw Austin running back. "What are you doing?" I asked with a giggle.

"I forgot to give you something." He said before taking my face in his hands and kissing me. "Now I'll be going. Goodnight."

"Goodnight." I said shutting the door and letting the cabbie resume his drive. I'msure he kept the meter running but I couldn't care less.

What a lovely way to burn indeed.

(is it cheesy? Yes. Do I care? No. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did because I really want to right more for this gorgeous, gorgeous man. Bye! ;) )

[adultswim2021]

Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job #38: “Hair” | March 30, 2009 - 12:30AM | S04E08

Another episode with an actual cohesive and somewhat high-effort wraparound; Tim has gone through barber college and he’s got the goods, giving Eric the coolest soul patch this side of Howie Mandel. Eric soon learns that Tim is having a party thrown in his honor on the occasion of his graduation. Tim doesn’t want to invite Eric because he has a penchant for ruining events by wearing a large African hat. Eric promises he won’t wear the hat. Tim, ever the friend, invites Eric to hang and bang with his haircut friends. I wish them the best. 

This comes after the opening sketch, an ad for the Cinco C-Bund, a cummerbund you wear sans pants. They offer a variety of bunds, including the “Naughty Teenager”, featuring a young model who holds a single wrapped condom up to his eye to prove that he’s sexually active. That is one naughty boy.

Next: I Live With My Dad, a story-song about two strange-looking men who are father and son and share a one-bedroom apartment. This one is pretty great, even though one could sorta look at this as low-hanging fruit. Sung from the perspective of the son, he boastfully sings about sleeping in the same bed with his father and kissing him “goodnight night”. He also lets him hang out with his younger man friends, which is probably a nice treat for dear old dad. The DVD has an alternate version where it ends with Eric stealing focus, a theme, perhaps!?

Next is the J.J. Pepper Videography sketch, Pretty good! Okay moving on!

Psyche!! YOU BELIEVED ME YOU FUCKING BUFFOON. J.J. Pepper is maybe the most momentous sketch in the history of Tim and Eric; possibly the world. Played to perfection by Will “J.J.” Forte (this sketch is the origin of his famous nickname!), J.J. Pepper wears dumb clothes, and talks like a huge dork throughout his commercial for his videographer services. He’s all smiles, and very boastful about having access to digital kangaroos and digital kangaroo page wipes. He also owns a tuxedo and can drive himself to and fro the event, a fact he really relishes by spending an unreasonable amount of time dwelling on in the ad.

The ad also features clearer footage of himself, suggesting that he is filming new footage over an old advertisement in order to wake us all up to the fact that we aren’t appreciating his services enough. He ends his spot with an exasperated “thanks for caring!” 

Another Afternoon Review sketch. Okay moving on (real).

We get David Wain and Larry Miller in Reasonable Shirts, a home shopping network style show where regular-looking men come out modeling “reasonable” dress shirts. This one is funny on a conceptual level, because they got two great comedy minds together and mostly just used footage of them saying either nothing or close to nothing. There was originally more to this one, with David explaining that these shirts belong to Larry and he’s just showing off his collection. The premise is vague. The “full” sketch is on the DVD (and youtube, at the moment) and is worth a watch. 

Hey, do you remember Josh Grobin? I don’t mean to suggest that he is no longer with us or even that he’s no longer relevant. I can just recall a time when people used his name in a snarky fashion, mad at him for committing the crime of being popular and not being a rock artist, the only kind that deserve popularity. He’s easily one of the show’s most normie guests. Here he appears in an ad for “Groban sings Casey”, a CD compilation where he covers all of Casey Tatums funny, funny songs. This is perfectly fun, and we shouldn’t be pissed off about it, okay. There’s an additional song on the DVD’s deleted scenes. I also found this clip of Groban talkin’ Spaghett, so you know he’s a true fan.

Tim and Eric’s drama unfolds throughout the episode, but Eric manages to steal focus from Tim by showing up in the large African hat (which he quickly removes, apologetically). When he removes his coat, he’s wearing a Cinco C-Bund. After a tense moment (with scary music and Tim looking extremely disappointed), it turns out to be a big hit. This is one of a handful of times when the Tim & Eric framing sketch actually calls back another sketch in the show. 

The Hair party features Scott Thompson from Kids in the Hall, as well as Robert Axelrod, a notable voice actor who also happens to be a weird-looking man. He passed away in 2019. He passed gas in 2009. 

Overall, this is a pretty good episode, with one revolutionary sketch. Thanks for caring. 

EPHEMERA CORNER:

The Room (April Fools Stunt; April 1st, 2009 @ 12:00AM)

Oh! April Fools! “The funniest day for play there is”. At Midnight on April 1st Adult Swim began a yearly tradition (that lasted three years) of showing an edited-for-television version of The Room. Notably, they showed the film in full (or at least close to it), but they censored out the sexual content by putting big blocks over the scenes where Tommy gets his bone on. They also censored out the swears, because I’m just a kid and can’t be hearing that. 

I believe, aside from seeing the clips used in the “Tommy” episode of Awesome Show (which they repeated after the movie), this was the first time I ever saw The Room. I don’t remember if I watched the entire thing; I think I might have been disappointed with the amount of censorship it required to be on television and ordered the DVD shortly after (I literally just checked my Amazon history; I ordered it just a couple months after this airing). 

The Room is a pretty monumental bad movie, and it always hit the spot for me. The only reason I’d avoid it now is because I’ve seen it several times already. Tommy continues to dine out on it’s cult success, as if he needs it. I guess that’s another good reason to not like The Room, that dude seems like serious trouble. Too rude, almost.

Next year's showing would be better, because they added a special guy and his enslaved alien sidekicks to the proceedings. But I will be covering that later on down the road, provided I do not get killed by a team of scary monsters

MAIL BAG

I've been almost one year since we last talked about the JJ Pepper Videography sketch that shook the core of not just Tim and Eric, not just [adult swim], but the entire foundation of sketch comedy. How do you look back at this incredibly gut-wrenchingly funny sketch and what funny person today do you think is most capable of making the Next JJ Pepper happen today?

I am forever changed because of the sketch, and I thank you for the messages. When we talk about young comics, I gotta say I really love what Billy Crystal, Robin Williams, and Whoopi Goldberg are doing. But it would take all three. Sadly, I heard one of them passed away. I’m not sure which one, but I have a feeling it’s the hyperactive fella. He must’ve just went too crazy at some point and pooped himself out. The dangers of living in a JJ Pepper world, no doubt.

[marley-manson]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 🤍

Thank you!

lol I only have five fics posted so I'm gonna do this for vids instead.

Wreck

There's exactly one shot I might go back and change if I could now, but honestly this is probably my favourite of my vids. It accomplishes, imo, what I always want to accomplish with a vid, which is both being visually engaging and fitting the music in a satisfying way, and essentially being a visual essay with a thesis statement. I feel like the essay part works on multiple layers too, where the basic point (Guts' violence is self-destructive) should come across pretty clearly, but there are a lot of little nuances that reasonably only I will ever know lol.

Like for example there's a set of three shots towards the end: a monstrous arm reaching out, a sword-strike, and a monstrous arm falling severed to the ground. Those three shots form a coherent whole, but they're taken from three very different scenes, which, put together, draw a throughline between Guts' rapist, Guts' abusive father figure, and Guts' urge to fight monsters.

Ultimately I made this vid for me, and my intended audience is happy with it.

The Moon Will Sing

I feel like this one was very successful on an emotional level. Every time I watch it there are several moments that give me shivers, and it never wears off. It's a love letter to Casca, and you can feel that imo. Plus I'm very proud of just being able to make a Casca vid that's about her life and her accomplishments and disappointments, and not romance lol.

Long Black Coat

This is the earliest completed vid I still have and yk what it holds up. The song edit is smooth enough that I completely forgot I edited the song until someone mentioned how cut up it was lmao, since it's one I never listen to outside of rewatching this vid; the music is illustrated by the visuals very well imo, it has a good sense of rhythm; and while it's still pretty linear it's not completely linear lol, which was an accomplishment for me when I was like 18.

Tropic Morning News

The fugue state I went into while making this was ridiculous, and then I spent the next few days rewatching it like 50 times. The hypomanic obsession has worn off and it's not quite as perfect as I thought during that week of making it lol, but it still holds up pretty well imo, and it was a memorable experience. It's the only vid I've ever made with a constructed reality element so it's a successful experiment too. I think it comes together overall, and it's a good portrait of Hawkeye/BJ as a ship.

Waltzing Along

I'm saying this vid instead of my most recent pretty much solely because it was my first Mash vid, I feel like they're ultimately pretty equivalent. But yeah like, going in I was extremely skeptical that Mash would work as a source for me, because it lacks a certain cinematographic polish lol. It's not super visually interesting and a lot of significant moments are portrayed almost solely through dialogue. But then I started this and I was like oh okay I can work with this, nice. So I have this vid to thank for all future Mash vids, and for helping expand my resourcefulness as a vidder.

Plus I'm pretty proud of it in general, like the death verse came together so well, I love my choice to show Tommy and Henry before the lyric reaches 'death row,' to add that little retroactive realization of why they're here. And intercutting Hawkeye getting out of the bus with Hawkeye helping the North Korean dig a grave, leading into Hawkeye supporting all his friends... Hawkeye.mp4. It also has a slightly stronger emotional core than my most recent one, probably.

Also I showed it to my dad and it made him tear up lol so I consider that a win.

[fanfictiongirlie]

Mcfly: It Was Me, Wasn't It? Chapter Nine

Parings: Dougie Poynter x First Person Character

Description:

'It was me, wasn't it?' He mumbled. I nodded and kissed him again. Until he pulled away smiling. 'I love you' He mouthed. 'I love you too' I smiled pulling him in to another kiss.

Rating: Teen Audiences and Up

Warnings: Angst, AU, Implied Sexual Content

p.s So I originally wrote this before 2012 when I was around 13/14. It wasn't good, but I really love the story, and Dougie Poynter was my first crush so I rewrote it a few years back. Go into this, not expecting a great story, but the plot, well it's a little silly. But if you love Dougie Poynter you may like it for that fact.

Why?

Our tour had begun, luckily I had Jamie staying with Athan and Ashton's parents. I already missed him. I video-chatted every night so he could still see me. 

We had a tour bus! Mcfly had their own of course. And the boys had already hooked up fifa to the tv, so they were happy and I was happy watching and stroking Luke's hair. I didn't notice until we were playing for a while, Ashton's and Luke's arms were linked. Their relationship, I swear gives me life. Athan missed Mia, they had only been going out for a few weeks, but every time she texted Athan's expression turned really happy and he would blush. It was the sweetest... 

Now if only I could tell the guy I liked, that I liked him...

--------

Dougie's POV.. 

I am a complete idiot. 

I kissed her again...

Why!

I just couldn't help it, her lips. 

Her. 

I just needed to kiss her. 

But I'm being so wrong, it's so confusing, for her probably lot.. 

I wonder if it's me.. That she fancies.. Maybe? Could it be?

She is so close with so many guys, she's close with everyone, she makes friends with everyone, like the perfect social butterfly she is. 

She's so special to me. 

What if she only pity kissed me. I don't know. I don't think she would do that.. 

Though thinking about it...

If someone kissed me, I'd kiss them back. Especially if they were hot. 

Wait. 

Does Y/N think I'm hot? I don't think I am. 

Maybe I'll ask her. She's on stage at the moment. 

Fuck, she is so perfect, look at her. 

Playing her guitar perfectly, smiling, singing like an angel, laughing. 

-----------

-Back to Y/N-

"Are you having fun?!" I ask into the microphone, the response is screams. They really loved us. 

"We love you guys!" Athan yelled. We were all so happy, maybe the happiest we had ever been? We were all covered in sweat and smiling like crazy people. 

"That was our last song!" Luke yelled "Are you guys ready for Mcfly?"

The screams got louder, I didn't think that was possible..

We all said our goodbyes and ran off stage into the green room. Mcfly were sitting there, waiting for their time. Luckily there was a 10 minute gap for the crowds to get drinks and what not.

"That was fucking awesome!" Ashton gushes, kissing Luke's sweaty cheek. 

"Y/N, can I ask you a question quick?" Dougie asked, pulling me outside the room. 

"What;s up?" I smiled at him. 

"Am I hot?" He asks, nervously. 

"Hot as in, good looking?" I ask and he nods. 

"Of course you are Doug, you're gorgeous" I say smiling and putting my hand on his shoulder. 

"Okay thank you" He smiled hugging me tightly. I suddenly think of how sweaty I smell. 

"Come on Doug!" Harry yells, grabbing Doug as they all run to the stage. 

What a weird question. Why did Dougie ask that? Maybe he wants to know if another girl would think he's hot?

------------

We were all drinking one night on our tour bus, including Tom, Danny, Harry and Dougie. And of course we decided Truth or Dare was a good idea for a bunch of people in their 20's. 

"Truth or dare Y/N" Ashton says, I groan. 

"Dare?" I had chosen Truth for the last six goes. 

"I dare you too........ Kiss Tom, just a peck" Ashton grinned, almost evilly. I shuffled over to Tom and kissed him quickly and then went back to my seat. 

"Lukey, truth or dare?" I gave awful dares, saying that I also gave awful truths. 

"Truth" Luke smiled. 

"Do you love Ashton?" I asked, I could see Luke's cheeks started to go red. 

"I can't even explain how much I love him" Luke mumbled but we heard. More importantly, Ashton heard. 

"You do?" Ashton whispered back. Luke nodded. I'm guessing they hadn't said it to one another yet?

"I love you too" Ashton said, taking Luke's hand. "Come on, lets chat"

Ashton knew Luke as well as I did, and knew Luke would be feeling heavy on the emotions. 

"Guess we should call it" Tom muttered, getting up with Danny and Harry following suit. 

"Could I sleep at your bus? I don't want to hear my bother bang my best friend" Athan asked, groaning. Tom laughed and said that it was fine and they left. Leaving me and Dougie. 

"Truth or dare?" Dougie asked, we were still playing? 

"I don't know dare?" What's the worst that could happen. 

"Kiss me?" He mumbled. I'm not sure I was suppose to hear him say that. I lean over and lifted his chin with two of my fingers and brought his face closer to mine. 

Our eyes met and didn't look away from each other, our lips brushed, causing us to both let out a relaxed sigh. 

"Y/N!" Suddenly I heard Athan's voice, I jumped away from Dougie. 

"Charlie wants to see us quick about our next show!" He yelled smirking from the door. Never had I wanted to slap him more....

I followed Athan with thoughts swimming through my mind. Dougie wanted to kiss me again, I wanted to kiss him, obviously. Why wouldn't he see, I am there for him, ready to be his. Why... 

[ribbonsandcurls]

A Blissful Getaway

I feel so content with life at the moment. The beginning of this week brought me so much unforgettable joy that I will carry with me until the end of my time - and beyond. I traveled to NYC with my big brother to see one of my favorite artist's perform at Terminal 5! Beabadoobee. The most stunning star in my books. I'll never forget the first time I showed Bea to my big bro in January of this year, and how he instantly fell in love with her voice and art. From then on, it was history. Thanks to Abba, I was able to purchase us tickets for this very concert back in March for my big bro's birthday in April. What a blessing, I tell you...

The traveling to NYC went differently than planned and expected, yet it worked out so perfectly. Joshua and I were able to meet at the bus stop and venture out into the city early on Monday morning. We got some breakfast, went to Barnes & Noble, checked into where we were staying, and got ready for the big night ahead of us. Every single moment leading up to the concert felt magical. Before we knew it, it was time to take the MTA to the venue. So chaotic, so overwhelming, and so confusing. Most importantly, SO fun. Being able to experience the NYC discombobulation was revolutionary in my eyes. We did that. HE did that.

As soon as we got in line for the doors to open, we were instantly uplifted by the presence of so many artistic and creative individuals who also shared love for this gifted human being and her craft. Being able to meet and chat with different groups of people was so incredible and everyone had such a distinct beauty about them. As we got into the venue, Joshua and I rushed to the very right of the stage, and we were able to get REALLY good standing spots. The opener Been Stellar was jaw-dropping and so captivating. The girl drummer was the standout for me and my bro. Her passion literally radiated through her and her drums. Just spectacular. The lights changed hues, and everything changed. Beatrice has arrived. When I tell you...GAGGED DOWN BOOTS. Literally speechless. I couldn't believe the woman that I have been listening to since freshman year of high school was in front of me...SINGING. And I got to share this experience with my big brother and surrounded by beautiful people? Unreal. Won't He do it?

We danced the night away. The setlist was PERFECTION. Our songs played. She ended the night with one of our favorite songs. Just...everything. I would love to replay this night over and over again. I will never stop talking about it.

After the concert ended, we got some ice cream and headed back to our designated place for the night. We woke up the next morning, got some yummy breakfast, thrifted a bit, and went to Central PAHK! So wonderful.

I am so thankful that we had the opportunity to stay in NYC for the night, and just live life the way us humans are supposed to live. No stresses, no drama, no self condemnation. Just existing and at peace.

This 3 day celebration with my bro bro was full of so much meaning. So much value. So much love. So much communication. So much US. So much Him. I am glad to be alive. It's so worth it for memories like this.

You're loved. Always.

Besos,

𝒥

[finishinglinepress]

FLP CHAPBOOK OF THE DAY: Every Now Is a Yes by Kathleen Wade

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Every Now Is a Yes invites you to step into a metaphorical photographer’s darkroom where the poet has coaxed images, stories and all manner of people to develop and take flesh. Travel with the author across country in a 1950 Chevy, or stand with the poet on a Carolina beach and see the perigee moon kissing the earth. The author teases out the meaning behind an abandoned car on a highway overpass, or a farmer building a “wind phone” on a hillside in Japan. Images come to light and develop in this collection, where each poem leads to the next in a collage of light and shadow. An observer of the everyday, the poet draws a picture by uniting creature and creator, parent and child, beggar and bystander. Every Now Is a Yes tells an intimate story of becoming. #life #poetry #chapbook

Kathleen Wade began writing poetry around age eleven, after inheriting her father’s hand-me-down Olympia typewriter. Her poems have appeared in a number of anthologies, including The Plymouth Writers Group, Ohio Teachers Write, For a Better World, Inside Out:SOS Art Cincinnati, Shelter in This Place: Meditations on 2020, Medium.com, and for several years in the City of Cincinnati’s Neighborhood Poets Laureate Anthology. A non-fiction book, Ordinary People, Extraordinary Lives, was published in 2012. A fictional memoir, Perfection, was published in 2018.

PRAISE FOR Every Now Is a Yes by Kathleen Wade

Kathleen Wade’s Every Now Is a Yes is an intimate reflection on the people, places, and experiences that weave the tapestry of who we are, and it chronicles Wade’s brave journey toward saying “yes” to it all. “Everything I have ever done / has prepared me for this,” she writes in “Meditation at the Shoreline.” The poems shimmer with haunting portraits of people who are etched in the poet’s memory – a transgender youth named Leelah, a struggling panhandler at Christmas, and the “ordinary guy” who caused “the third-worst bus crash in US history.” At times, the collection aches for the suffering in the world as the poet quietly utters a prayer to save a sparrow with a broken leg. But these stirring and striking poems are finally about grace. The poem “Like the Sun” reminds us that even when we feel the “rain has thickened the veil,” at that moment, “even then / we shine.”

–Donelle Dreese, author of Organelle and Sophrosyne

Thank you, Kathleen Wade! Your poems are songs for being with in a world which glorifies being against. Whether your poems involve me in moments of glory or cruelty, place me in stories on beaches, porches, or city streets, they inspire me to sing my own Nows into (sacred) Yeses.

–Mary Pierce Brosmer, Founder of Women Writing for (a) Change; author of Women Writing for (a) Change: A Guide for Creative Transformation (2009); and the author of numerous poems and essays.

The opening poem in Kathleen Wade’s poetry chapbook, Every Now is a Yes, lists instructions for developing film in a darkroom—as the “image / shimmers into being,” we are left with one word: “Tremble.” Indeed, the poems in this collection shimmer, take shape, and sharpen into the focused insight of a speaker who has lived her life with careful attention. This poet turns a keen eye toward life influences: her maternal family line, grief about not having biological children (especially daughters), mature marriage, acknowledged “white privilege,” and an abiding appreciation for natural beauty. A complex picture emerges of a woman who cares deeply about humanity and our world. Witness poems about transgender people (and other social justice causes) and tender encounters in nature demonstrate deeply held passion. Wade writes, “Everywhere I have ever been/has brought me here.” This book is art honed to reflect a seeker’s gained wisdom and elevate our appreciation for poetry’s gift of sublime mindfulness.

–Ellen Austin-Li, author of Firefly (2019) and Lockdown: Scenes from Early in the Pandemic (2021), Finishing Line Press

Please share/please repost #flpauthor #preorder #AwesomeCoverArt #poetry #chapbook #read #poems #life

[eleanor-bradstreet]

Alright, I’ve mopped myself up off the floor, re-hinged my jaw and cracked my knuckles to try and explain how this fic rode me roughshod to near ruin (geettttttt it) 🤪. Hoooo girl. I say ‘jealous Anthony’ and you give me ropes, riding crops, growling commands and ultimate dom control. Your girl needs to make it to the end of this series, and you are dangerously close to laying me out in a coma 🙃 Particularly threatening to my constitution were the following moments:

‘A warm finger catches the drip and pushes it back to your mouth, his pupils dilating. “Can’t quite swallow it all; that looks familiar,”’ OH MY GOD WE ARE SIX LINES IN FAYE!!! SIX 👏 LINES 👏 FORGET THE FOREPLAY WE’RE JUST PLOUGHING ON IN This is one of the filthiest things he says in the entire fic 😵 Holy fucking hellll…..I wasn’t sure I was going to survive this one. I was already electrified…

“We both know being on your knees is your favourite place after being face down over my desk,” JESUS FUCK STOP OH MY GOD THEY’RE NOT EVEN ALONE YET!!!! Benace? Move over. This is Annihilanthony. 🥵🤯

“They are an addictive cocktail.” Cocktail…manbread…this is my kind of happy hour 🍸

“There is all sorts of equipment in here I want to use on you,” Oh god, oh lord, my eyes are crossing already…. 😵😵😵

And then the discovery. I knew it was coming of course, but ooooooo how I stopped breathing! 😱 I can just hear him growling. Incredulous. Furious. It’s terrifying but also so damn enticing. The hair pulling, oooooofff. But then the cracks start to reveal themselves. He is hurt, genuinely. Kind of no one’s fault if they didn’t have exclusivity established. It still wounds me a bit to hurt Anthony’s heart though, my sweet damaged boy 😢 says the woman who thought up this whole damn scenario

Standing ovation for your allstar cleverness with the loophole 🤪 [insert loophole gif here] You should be an attorney because that is some crafty phrasing 😉

“Mutually assured destruction can seem so appealing behind glowing brown eyes and sharp cheekbones…This is why you can’t resist him. He knows how to give you things you never knew you needed but want so much your blood sings—makes you ache for him, addicted to him like no one else.” This is poetry. If folks were wondering what it was that draws Reader to Anthony, you’ve explained it right here. It’s the danger, the challenge, the excitement. The explosive release after being pushed to limits she didn’t know existed. He is a safe partner to explore the wildest kinks with. A place where she can completely let loose, be pleasured and work out her frustrations and guilt. Maybe it’s twisted, but it’s undeniably appealing, and so rare.

“ink, smokey cigars and the tang of money, all Anthony.” Shivers down my spine at this. 🫠

 Thank you for including the deepthroating in this. 💙 (Sentences I didn’t think I’d ever write.) I know it may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but lordt does it flip my wig 🥵 It was perfect - he wipes away her tears, gloating. And then “Take it” !!!!!!! I see what you did there, you sly thing!! 😉Annihilanthony’s catchphrase muahahahahaaa!!

“He has done exactly what you wanted; he has covered up Benedict’s mark on you with one of his own, bigger, better, bolder—so very Anthony. It almost feels akin to a twisted game of one-upmanship you will wear on your skin for a few days.” WOOOOOOOOO AAAGGGGGHHHHHHH The imagery of this - the sinful, twisted beauty of it all, fuccckkkkkkk. This is why I trust you with anything - take my lil baby one sentence prompt and go nuts, because you always deliver something compelling, gorgeous, and dare I say…profound 🫶

You’ve woven this into a few fics, but I ADORE how Anthony is so attentive that he can sense when Reader is floating off into sub lala land and he always commands her to stay present. It is both domming and endearing at the same time. It’s command and concern all rolled into three words. I fucking love it.

Okay, bondage is fun but has never been that high on my kink list. But SOMETHING about this precise image - this close up of Anthony’s hand: strong and veined, knuckles turning white as he grabs the rope around her back and twists it in his fist to hold her down tighter and give himself leverage, like he is mounting a rodeo bronco (seriously have you seen the way those guys grip?) There’s something so tantalizing about the contrast for me. These aristocratic hands with his sapphire ring, twisted into this rough rope to hold a lady down and drill into her it’s like…..*shiver* idk, it fucking DOES IT for me. Surprise, surprise, I guess….hand stuff is my favorite 😅 Seriously, this image in my brain is a whole story unto itself so THANK YOU for painting it!!

The orgasm control…..ummmmm…..an amazing surprise and so SO perfect for the dynamics that are going on……and also 💦

Then you weave all these similarities in between the brothers. The way Anthony so quickly untied her and rubbed her wrists, EXACTLY like Benedict did. The way they both curl up with her to recover. The way they both talk about challenging her (as she points out). You are setting her up for an impossible choice. They are both sensitive at heart, caring despite how different their demeanors (in and out of the bedroom) may be. As the saying goes: same, same, but different, but still same. How is a girl to choose???

Then oh shit. Loose lips sink ships. They sink relationships, girlie. WATCH OUT. OOOP, TOO LATE. Again, I’m upset with myself for upsetting Anthony. 😅 I remember you saying you were surprised how emotional this was getting and I understand, and LOVE it. You’re giving us raw Anthony. Realistic Anthony. Anthony the dom with a heart. It’s impossible to separate him from it. 🥺

Wow. Simply wow. Add tack rooms to the list of things I can no longer engage with without having lascivious thoughts inspired by your fics. Thankfully, I am not an equestrian nor an aristocrat with an expensive hobby so they should be easy to avoid. This was balanced so well. You had a lot of balls in the air (no, not THOSE ones) with the CNC, the emotions and the secrecy, and you juggled them perfectly. This was an explosive installment that satisfies all on its own but still leaves us wired for the crescendo 🔥 Masterful.

Reprimand

Double Bind Masterpost

PREV | NEXT

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x fem!reader

Summary: Follow on to Endeavour. Anthony suspects you may have been seduced by another and reprimands you.

Warnings: 18+smut, minors DNI, dom/sub relationships, mean dom, jealousy, consenting-non-consent (CNC) play, deepthroat breathplay, rope bondage, whipping with a riding crop, rough vaginal sex, orgasm control, emotions, confessions.

Word Count: 5.8k

Authors Note: Here is part 4 of the Double Bind series requested by @eleanor-bradstreet where our reader finds herself back with her original dom, Anthony. Please note, everything here is very consenting; they are just playing as if it's not. If that is at all triggering for you, please do not read this. Thank you to @colettebronte for the beta read, particularly around the CNC play. Enjoy! <3

The following night you see Anthony at a gathering—a very dull musical recital just a few doors down from Bridgerton House. He accompanies you as the respectable courting partner, your gloved wrist gently resting in the crook of his arm as you circuit the room before the show.

Once the decidedly mediocre entertainment begins, he leans close to your ear.

“You have about five more minutes, then we are leaving,” he drawls quietly. 

“Where are we going, my lord?” you whisper back. 

“Anywhere I can fuck you,” he states plainly as you struggle not to spit out the champagne you just sipped, a dribble still escaping down your chin that you attempt to dab away discreetly. He intentionally did that—waited to drop that line when you were taking a swig.

A warm finger catches the drip and pushes it back to your mouth, his pupils dilating. “Can’t quite swallow it all; that looks familiar,” he murmurs, intentionally being utterly filthy.

“Anthony!” you admonish quietly but fiercely.

“We both know being on your knees is your favourite place after being face down over my desk,” he mutters, knowing this sort of talk always gets you breathless.

And indeed, it does. “Are those five minutes up?” you ask archly.

Wordlessly, with a bemused huff, he grabs your hand and pulls you out into the aisle, briskly walking towards the rear of the room and out of the door. He keeps marching, out of the building, into the street, making a beeline for his home less than a hundred yards away.

“Your family…?” you check as you realise where he is headed.

“All at that dreaded recital. The house shall be empty except for staff. Not that it is consequential, for we are not going into the house,” he smirks back at you.

“Where are we going?” you ask as you realise he has veered into the mews running behind his property.

“Stables,” he answers as if that explains everything.

“Why?” 

“You are asking an awful lot of questions tonight,” he comments, then pauses and crowds you into a cold brick wall in the narrow dark lane. “How about you trust me and just do as you are told, you wilful little thing?” his warm breath gusts over your cheek.

Oh. It's already playtime.

“Yes, sir,” you respond instantly, and he nods and beams at you.

“Good girl,” he compliments, grabbing your chin. “Now, you will do whatever I tell you from here on out. Do you understand me?

“Yes sir,” your breath speeding up, excitement flaring low in your belly.

“I do so love you obedient,” he sighs and kisses you bruisingly, trapping you forcefully between his body and the wall. “Take off your underwear,” he commands.

“I'm not wearing any,” you stumble honestly.

He growls, “I love when you do that, behaving like a wanton whore.” He knows how aroused you get when he calls you that in play. “Show me right now; pull up your dress.”

You scramble to obey, but he quickly stills your movement. “I see people in the window of our neighbour's house. We should move on,” he offers sagely, stepping out of character and retaking your hand. 

Anthony has never been one to attempt play in public; his image as Viscount so very important to maintain. And so contrasting to his younger, bohemian brother, memories of Benedict’s sinful voice talking of you crawling naked to him in front of strangers suddenly haunt you. How can they be both so very alike and so very different simultaneously? They are an addictive cocktail.

You continue down the mews until a gate leads you into a rear courtyard—this must be the back of Bridgerton House. 

“Wait here,” he says curtly, disappearing into a side building. “Alright, you may come in; the coast is clear,” he calls a few moments later, and you follow.

It's the tack room for the stables. It smells of leather and brass. It’s warm and dry; the mahogany wood-panelled walls give it a cosy air.

“What are we doing in here?”

“There is all sorts of equipment in here I want to use on you,” he crows, closing the heavy door shut and bolting it. The only light in the room is a faint glow from the oil lanterns flickering on the courtyard walls outside and a shaft of moonlight splicing across the room from a high window.

Something in your heart rate spikes as your eyes adjust and look around to see saddles, bridals, whips and ropes. And in the middle of the room, a padded leather bench likely used to change into riding boots.

“Now, do as you were told before we were rudely interrupted,” he prompts, leaning on the wall and crossing his arms casually, an expectant eyebrow raised.

You grab your dress and gather the layers over your forearms until you feel the air swirling around your intimate area. He growls at the sight and is on you a millisecond later, kissing bruisingly, just the way you like. There is nothing more arousing for you than Anthony, this powerful, titled man, so very desperate and out of control just for you. He spins you around, and you are pushed into the wood panels, his hands wrenching open your dress buttons as you breathe hard. 

“Open your legs wider,” he gruffs, nudging your ankles with his shoe. You do so, widening your stance to shoulder width as your dress and chemise are yanked off your shoulders. “Wider,” he instructs as your clothing drops to a pool at your feet. 

You obey, kicking away your dress, standing there now in stays and silk shoes only.

“Good girl,” he compliments, pulling your hips backwards roughly, your hands reaching out to grab the wall in front on instinct. “That's it, bend over, and hold on tight,” he orders.

Your insides dance with anticipation as he drops to his knees behind you. He is usually savage with his tongue when he eats you from behind like this—pushing his whole face into your slit, into the cleft of your cheeks, very thorough in his attentions. So you are somewhat surprised when he doesn't do that. In fact, he is silent behind you for so long you almost ask what is wrong.

“What… the… fuck….is that?” he spits angrily. But it's not his play angry; it sounds worryingly close to genuine.

‘What is what?” you ask, suddenly nervous, twisting to look over your shoulder.

He jumps up to his feet and yanks you roughly back upright against him by your hair, and you squeak in shock.

“Care to explain why there are teeth marks on your inner thigh, my girl?” his voice cutting and right at your ear.

Your stomach plummets as if you have fallen from a high branch of a tree or gone over a waterfall in a barrel. Everything inside you tumbles, and your vision swims slightly.

Benedict.

It could ONLY be him—last night. You vaguely recall feeling him bite your inner thigh as he teased you. But you were so deliriously aroused you barely felt anything. Washing this morning, you did not think to look there; you just quickly bathed and went about your day. 

“It cannot be, sir,” you instantly obfuscate. “It must be a mark, from I do not know what…. from my saddle, perhaps?” you offer, taking inspiration from what is right around you.

His grip on your hair slackens. You are uncertain he believes you. Something feels tender at this moment. Precarious. Like he is vulnerable to what the marks could signify but cannot handle his response in any other way but brusquely—needing the upper hand.

“I have been foolish, perhaps, in not being clear with my boundaries. So here they are. If you are with a Bridgerton, you should only be laying with a Bridgerton, do you hear me?” he lectures, unwittingly giving you a very convenient loophole.

“Yes, sir,” you answer instantly. “I shall only lay with a Bridgerton,” you reply, almost gleeful.

“Why does that appear so entertaining?” he asks cuttingly.

“It is not, sir,” you attempt to school your expression and tone, “more that your order is very… arousing for me, sir,” your response coquettish, knowing the diversionary flattery will work on him.

“You want to be owned by me?” he gusts hot in your ear, a warm hand snaking around your belly, pulling you back forcefully into his muscular frame.

“Yes, of course, sir”, you answer. “I want to wear your name with pride,” you pant gently, slipping into your submissive role with practised ease.

“I will brand your bottom with the family crest,” he snarls, the possessive rhetoric notching up significantly.

You goad him with a challenging look over your shoulder and roll your hips, catching your bottom on the growing hardness in the front of his trousers, knowing it will spur some kind of response. 

“You wanton little whore, rubbing yourself on me like some animal in heat just because I offer to brand you with my name,” he rumbles, enjoying your tactics, grabbing your chin and making you look at him as he leans forward over your shoulder. “I should tie you up and whip you to make you obey me,” he declares, staring into your eyes.

You suddenly know why he has brought you here, to this room—to try some more advanced punishment. The fact there is now the added dimension of his suspicion makes it feel even more charged, like the static before a storm. You can't seem to look away from his turbulent mien, knowing tonight will be something new and exciting. You can feel butterflies against your ribs as he speaks again.

“You would just hate that, wouldn't you?” he smirks, and you intuit what he wants. 

This is a power play to make you remember who is in charge, a way to brand you as his symbolically, not physically. By making you pretend you don’t want this as much as you do. Achingly so.

“You want to play that game?” you check quietly, ensuring what you think is happening is true.

“You are so very observant, my smart girl,” he whispers flatteringly, and you know exactly what to do next.

“Sir, please don’t,” you play up, voice getting louder, twisting to catch his eye and winking, letting him know your reticence is all for the scene. 

“Who said you have any say in what happens?” he chuckles darkly, his hold tightening as he roughly strips your stays from your body so you are completely naked.

This. You perhaps shouldn’t want this, but by god, you do—a little twisted role play. Elation ripples through your body. Somehow you know you both need this today. Anthony to process his suspicions about the bitemark. You, cathartic release of the guilt you carry about your tryst with Benedict. Perhaps it's a dangerous path to walk; you know you are likely playing with fire, but with Anthony, by god, it's nothing but excitement. Mutually assured destruction can seem so appealing behind glowing brown eyes and sharp cheekbones.

“Please, sir, no!” you ratchet up your theatrics, struggling slightly in his hold as he spins you around to face him. 

“Shut up!” he grouses and pushes you down to your knees with a firm grip on your hair. “Now, if you don't keep quiet, I will find a way to silence you,” he warns, yanking your head back so you look up at him.

And you know what is coming, your thighs rubbing together almost gleefully at the prospect. Your insides roil excitedly at the idea of him using you, rough and rugged, as you pretend it is against your will. Trust Anthony to take you to the edge of your needs, push your envelope and make you crave him. This is why you can’t resist him. He knows how to give you things you never knew you needed but want so much your blood sings—makes you ache for him, addicted to him like no one else.

You stay on your knees, panting lightly with anticipation as he walks away briefly, his boots seeming to clatter much louder as he returns. He yanks your hands behind your back, and you feel a thin rope wrapping around your wrists. 

“You know your safety word and action,” he leans over and mutters in your ear, and you nod, twisting to meet his eye. Confirming that today no won't mean stop; only that word or gesture will.

“No sir, please, no god, I’m sorry; please don't tie me up,” you act up.

He laughs menacingly and keeps looping the rope, tying it off with what feels like a bow. Then a hand grabs your jaw. 

“Too late for that; open your mouth,” he commands gruffly.

You instantly obey as two fingers slide thickly over your tongue. They taste of ink, smokey cigars and the tang of money, all Anthony.

“Now I know a certain way to stop this little mouth from being so insolent,” he states, casually pinching your tongue before pulling out his fingers.

“No sir, please, please don’t,” you volley back, a flash in your eyes as you lick your lips, your gaze falling to the tented shape in his trousers as he roughly unbuttons them.

His cock springs free, and you feel a frisson over your skin as you drink in the sight of it, already rigid and leaking. Without preamble, he grabs the back of your head; you can barely take a steadying breath before he pushes into you, hot over your tongue, not gentle in using you, nudging towards the back of your mouth. His cock is always so surprising in size, especially when he does this, showing you no mercy. Gripping your hair and starting a rhythm that pushes deeper on every stroke until he holds your nose pressed up to his body, filling your throat. You want to cough, speak, do anything, but he holds steady, his scent so potent.

With your hands tied as they are, you have no control over how he uses you, but you are determined not to give you safety action, to take the punishment he wants to meter out. Your clit throbs as your lungs burn for air—heady and intoxicating. Still, he does not allow you reprieve.

“Look up at me.” You tilt your eyes up as water gathers at the corner of your lashes. His thumb swipes through them. “Finally, she is silent and obedient,” he chuckles richly, his cock vibrating in your throat, “and looking so pretty on her knees, taking all of me.”

He pulls halfway out, and you inhale sharply before he pushes back in with a groan, and you are again unable to breathe. You want this so much your thighs dampen, and you look back up at him with wide, pleading eyes, playing the part of the victim you most definitely are not.

“Take it,” he stutters gruffly as you feel your throat convulse slightly, wanting to gag. “Stay down,” he orders, crushing your face into his body, his balls against your chin. You feel a pulse in his cock and then a sour tang, that little salty bead of pre-cum sliding down your gullet.

Just as you begin to struggle for air and feel woozy light-headedness, he pulls out entirely, ropes of saliva webbing from your mouth to his glistening tip as you gasp deeply, your throat burning.

“Get on your hands and knees and crawl to that bench,” he grits out, and you do as told, taking a few crawled paces to the padded leather bench in the middle of the room as he loosely refastens his trousers. Your deep wracking breathing sounds so loud, even in the wood-panelled room, as he tells you to climb up and straddle it face down.

“If you move an inch or make a noise, this will be much worse for you,” he threatens.“You will be whipped, and then you will take my cock. Maybe then you will finally remember who you belong to.”

“Please, sir, no,” your protesting murmur is weak and raspy as your throat recovers, but you turn slightly to meet his gaze challengingly, eyes blazing. You had better fuck me so hard, you mouth silently at him.

He twists his face into a bemused pout. I will, you wilful little one, he mouths back.

“Now, do I need to tie you to the bench, too?” he warns, but you get no chance to challenge it as, almost instantly, more rope loops around your back and under the bench you lay on. 

Fire flares in your belly; he has never tied you down so wholly. You cannot wiggle free of this; you are entirely at his mercy. The leather sticks slightly to your heated cheek as a hand spanks a glancing blow onto your left bottom cheek, and you groan and push your hips down into the padded leather. Everywhere between your legs tingles, aches even, and feels hot, getting off on the thrill of submitting to his will, the utter commanding way he handles you. You need him to put his mark on you. To make it bigger, better than his brother’s. 

“Make it hurt,” you sigh, barely a breath. But you know he hears it from the sharp inhale he makes.

You look back at him pleadingly. It could be the look of a captive pleading for mercy from their captor; it could be the look of a willing participant in a provocative game, conveying just how much they want this. Indeed, it’s both, so many layers swirling in this erotically charged moment.

“My girl, you will feel it and remember tonight,” his voice a low forewarning.

You twist to watch Anthony walk away and snag a riding crop from the selection hanging on nearby hooks, heart speeding up as he walks near your head, brandishing the implement. The cool leather tongue brushes the nape of your neck. He traces it slowly, achingly so, down the length of your spine to where your bound hands lay. Your body shivers in response, and he chuckles, seemingly delighted at how he can elicit such reactions from you.

He leans low over your back, the crop raising from your skin. “Now you can't run and get help; no one is coming to rescue you from me,” he growls. Something in the tone suggests bitter experience.

There is a faint, almost whistling sound in the air then you feel a sting lashing across your left buttock. The strength of this first blow is sharp, taking you by surprise, and you yelp in response.

“Be quiet!” he orders roughly, grabbing your hair. “Or do I need to gag you as well?”

“Please, sir, don't,” your lips plead while your mind hopes he might. You enjoy it when he gags you, especially with his cravat, as he did just a few days ago during your last encounter at Aubrey Hall. That fateful night you physically bumped into his younger brother.

Anthony releases your hair as Benedict's voice and face fill your mind. A similar blow to your right bottom cheek brings you back into the room, and you groan loudly, grinding against the bench, feeling the rope around your waist resisting your movements. He is pacing around you in a circle, his footsteps echoing up the walls; you pant in anticipation, trying to crane your head to track his movements.

The crop tickles your open, bound hand, then traces up the inside of your arm, so ticklish you try to tamp down a giggle. Then you gasp as he flicks the crop on your upper arm across the flesh of your muscle there.  The leather tongue drags back down to your hands, then swaps to the other, tracing up your arm in that prickly way until, again, there is a flick to the other bicep. You sense it's coming but still whimper slightly at the lick.

It's a guessing game about what he will do next. These flicks on your arms have been light, not like the force he used on your bottom, but enough to sting and keep you on your toes.

“I do so enjoy the slight of you bound,” he hums, almost absent-minded, as the crop trails back down your arm over your hands, your fingertips and onto your lower spine.

“Please, sir, don’t hurt me,” you play up, panting with anticipation about where he might strike next. 

“What part of ‘be quiet’ are you not understanding?” he utters through clenched teeth; it’s all the warning you get before the crop reigns a sharp blow onto the back of your thigh, right below where it meets your bottom.

You hiss and writhe as the crop insinuates between your legs, encouraging them further apart. 

“If you keep talking, I will crop you right here,” he cautions, running the smooth leather tab over your labia. You fold your lower lip into your mouth to censor any response you might have. “Good girl,” he intones, and the crop is gone.

You are almost relaxing into the soft bench when he strikes a lick onto your ribs, it's not hard, but it takes you by surprise; your yelp is instinctual. Then with an almost predatory gleam in his normally beguiling eyes, he rains little blows across your back. Short, sharp lashes that sting, not hurting but not pleasant. You flinch at every blow but feel a paradoxical sense of relief with each one, the discomfort as cleansing as it is arousing.

It's when the crop disappears between your thighs that you tense slightly. But he does not flick it against your pussy; he holds it over the spot you assume are the teeth marks, his breathing uneven. Then with a determined glint, he lashes the area hard, and you feel redness instantly bloom there as you cry out. He has done exactly what you wanted; he has covered up Benedict's mark on you with one of his own, bigger, better, bolder—so very Anthony. It almost feels akin to a twisted game of one-upmanship you will wear on your skin for a few days.

Then he flicks little marks on the back of your thighs and buttocks. Again each one feels like absolution and a step higher towards a blissful state where you float outside your body, utterly pliant to his demands and treatment.

“Stay with me,” he dictates. 

He senses you slipping into a subspace but wants you alert and responsive to every move he makes. 

“Who do you belong to?” his question is a bark.

“You.” It's a reflex.

“And only me, do you understand me? I will not share,” he grits out. 

“Yes sir,” you slur as the crop makes one last resounding blow on your cheek, so forceful you scream.

There is a clatter as the crop falls to the ground, and he is tearing off his clothing as you watch covetously and panting with anticipation, your skin burning hot in the places he has cropped you.

“No sir, please don’t take me,” you fib with a small smile, catching sight of his delicious, engorged cock as he strips. 

“Oh, but you are mine to take,” he laughs menacingly as he rounds behind you, kneeling on the floor where he lines up to enter you.

With a grunt from him and a cry from you, he plunges into your body; the stretching invasion always steals your breath. The artifice of the game you have been playing falls away as you sigh his name and murmur for him to please take you hard, wanting him to fuck all the guilt out of you.

And he does what you need. He shows no mercy as he grasps the rope around your back in his fist so it digs into the sensitive flesh of your sides and begins a punishing rhythm. Thrusting with such force, your whole body rolls, the bench squeaking in protest. You struggle to form thoughts and just quieten your mind, lean into the intensity of it—allowing your body to be used, taken, finding pleasure in your passivity. 

His hand spanks a glancing blow over your left cheek that he has left flecked with crop marks, and you squeal at the layering of this sharp pang over the dull throb from his earlier discipline.

“Keep quiet,” he hisses, leaning over your back and biting the nape of your neck. His incisors grabbing flesh and pulling, a pinching searing pang you know will mean teeth marks and wearing scarves to cover up until they fade. 

You are shocked at how fast your body is hurtling towards a climax, your clit squashed into the rounded end of the bench as he fucks into you. You start to pant little noises and writhe in your bindings, your wrists still in the small of your back, starting to feel pins and needles as your movement causes the rope to dig in harder.

“You are so very close,” he observes, suddenly holding still, buried deep inside you. “That will not do,” his tone almost disappointed, “do not come yet”.  

You fight the urge, your pussy squeezed tight around him, fighting the little convulsions you feel, every inch of his cock engraving on your walls like he is leaving his imprint inside you.

“I mean it,” he warns, “you will not come until I permit it.”

“Yes sir,” you croak, gusting hot breaths into the bench and trying to calm your body. To stave off your orgasm until he allows it.

Then there are fingers resting on your clit, and you inhale sharply, twisting in your binding to look at him over your shoulder, something wild in his manner, his eyes glittering.

“No,” he says firmly as he teases your bud with expertise, edging you but refusing permission to let you break.

“This is not fair,” you groan, puffing hard as he begins to fuck you again, this time with an unhurried rhythm, withdrawing then surging in as his fingertips expertly hook under your hood to massage your engorged little nub. 

“Fair is not my concern,” he dismisses, “what is my concern is demanding your utter obedience.”

Every ounce of your body is aflame, the tension of holding to a precipice as each welt on your body throbs in sympatico with your clit.

“Please,” you mumble, unsure you can stem the tide building; obey his rules.

His grip on your bum tightens as he spears into you roughly, making you grunt as your whole body rocks with the force. Boring into you now, unforgiving in his mounting of you, he once again wraps the rope that lashes you down around his knuckles, ensuring you gasp at the harsh binding, the rough fibres repeatedly rubbing until small welts appear.

He is setting an almost punishing pace, ploughing into your body repeatedly as you listen to his panting breaths, desperate for his consent to release all the tension, almost an unbearable weight.

He spanks your right cheek for good measure. You moan, and the pleasure-pain that blossoms makes your break impossible to fight anymore. Your eyes screw shut as his fingers slide over your sensitive bud, the grip of his spanking hand now banded around the crest of your hipbone, strong enough to leave more marks on your delicate flesh. 

“You may,” he pants, perhaps sensing the inevitable.

You call his name and bury your nose into the bench, your teeth snarling and biting against the leather as your body, denied over and over, finally relents, your pussy palpitating around him so harshly you almost propel him from your body. Each synapse firing so hard your mind blanks out, a snapping of something inside that is your tether to reality. Then you are floating, somewhere far away, on a cloud of throbbing skin and pumping heartbeats, the pain transmogrifying into something beautiful, like amnesty, appeasement, peace.

You are barely cognisant as he rapidly withdraws from your body with a shout, spilling his seed onto your aching cheeks, the splash of it somehow both stinging and soothing the ache, bringing you back into the room as he slumps over your back, head between your shoulder blades.

For a few moments, there is nothing but the joint sound of your laboured breathing and the creek of the rope as you shift lightly under his weight.

“That was… truly something else,” he pants, drawing upright to untie your body and wrists delicately.

“It really was,” you agree, as he rubs the sore spots on your wrists from the chafe of the rope.

“Thank you. For giving me your trust like that,” Anthony says quietly, sincerely. “It is a rare thing to play like this…. Very rare indeed.”

He looks so thoughtful you don't know what to say in response. “Any time, Anthony. It was a very cathartic experience for me,” you admit honestly. “Something so freeing about playing that role for you,” you clarify before he asks what you mean, Benedict’s face flashing in your mind, guilt flooding your heart.

He jumps up, gathers a padded blanket from a hook, and lays it on the ground, pulling you into an embrace atop it. You settle into his arms, allowing your body to feel soothed by his idle, gentle strokes as he speaks again.

“I have come to realise that you are chasing challenging experiences. And my darling girl, I always want to be the one, the only one, worthy and able to do that, to challenge you in all the ways you may need,” he offers as he nuzzles your temple, dropping a light kiss there.

“That's so funny; Benedict was just saying the same last night,” you giggle lightly, your idle tongue running away from you in your post-orgasmic haze.

“You talk to my brother about such matters?” He freezes and sounds strange as he says it, and instantly you wince inside but try not to let it show. 

“Sometimes he and I talk. Of you and I, our compatibility, our courtship,” you attempt breezy nonchalance, gesturing into the air. “We bumped into each other at the Trowbridge Ball, and perhaps I had too much champagne,” you offer, relieved that partial truths and alcohol may explain how you came to talk of such matters with his brother.

“But you said this was last night?” Anthony argues, slowly twisting and sitting up away from you. “And the Trowbridge Ball was two nights ago. I should know; I was not well that day.”

Bile rises in your throat. You try not to let your panic show on your face, but you suspect your acting skills may be somewhat lacking. “Oh, of course, I… I am mixing up my days. The season is such a whirl, is it not?” You overshoot, mugging a smile too large and too brittle, clutching at proverbial straws. 

You sit up and instinctively grab your chemise to cover yourself up, feeling the need for a physical layer of protection, your skin registering a cold draft that breezes along the floor, making you shiver. There is a few moments of silence where you curl your lip under your teeth. Scared, you will slip up more, knowing Anthony is too smart not to see it. 

“I thought I warned you to stay away from him,” he intones, his voice going low.

“Come on, Anthony. He is your family; why would I not talk to your family? To the outside world, at least, we are courting.” You try to appeal to his logical side.

“Do you converse with Colin? Do you talk such intimate things with him?” He bristles, and you stay silent. Knowing what he points out is true. You have barely spoken more than five words to Colin, all mundane. “Yes. As I thought,” he adds, more than a little bitter. “And I find it strange that I went to call on you yesterday afternoon to apologise for being unable to accompany you to the ball, only to be told you were not home. That you were, in fact, receiving art lessons from my brother. Indeed, your family valet seemed most perplexed that I was not aware, seeing as I had apparently arranged the whole thing.” 

Oh god. 

He knows. 

He knows something is happening between you and Benedict. And he has kept it in until now. Again you are tumbling over that waterfall. Suddenly, so much of tonight takes on more nuance than you could possibly have imagined: the desperation, the possessiveness, the want to tie you down and punish you hard, the now-weighted phrase that no one is coming to rescue you. Part of you wants to run away, be sick to your stomach, but part of you wants to stay and fight.

“Anthony…” you appeal, not knowing what else to say.

“Don't,” he chides, and you feel him building up his walls, brick by brick, cutting you off. “But thank you for confirming what I didn't want to know. You may leave,” he adds bitterly, and you can see untold hurt in his eyes. 

You can see that trying to reason with him is a lost cause at this moment. So silently, you pull your stays on loosely over your chemise and then your dress, the initial panic giving way to a melancholy sinking into your bones about how he is closing himself off. You slip out of the stable door and don't allow yourself the luxury of a glance back, or even a tear, as you walk the few hundred yards back to the recital venue and your awaiting carriage.

You suspect that were it any other man, Anthony would not be so very agitated—his younger brother very much his Achilles heel, right from that first warning at Aubrey Hall. Perhaps he sees something in you that is a kindred spirit to Benedict more than to himself and fears the choice you may make. Little does he know, you crave them equally and more than ever, even as you feel uncertain about where you stand with either brother now. Both knowing of your dalliance with the other, and neither happy about it—precisely what you didn't want. In hindsight, it was never going to be easy playing off both brothers. But you never expected Anthony’s reaction to be so emotional, the hidden depths he keeps so well concealed under the mask of responsibility.

And things are about to get even more complicated when Benedict sees what Anthony has done….

Anthony taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @crowleysqueenofhell @bridgertontess @queenofmean14 @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld@eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @sorryallonsy @lilithseve @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @elizah99 @fictionalmenloversblog

[hdmason]

Evaluation Time

Words: 830

If someone came across Mason the morning of this evaluation and didn’t know him very well, they’d definitely be worried about him.

Mason had had evaluations before, of course, but those had been different. Those hadn’t been results of being selected for two special teams to potentially be propelled towards a debut possibility.  He was stimming a lot, waving his hand back and forth to calm down before doing the fingers-to-face thing that he had taught Hwan not long ago. He breathed into it, actually managing to calm down right before he was brought into the room.

Mason listened to their response to Team A and felt a lot of relief, not only for himself doing well, but the comment about the seven of them working well together brought him joy. That was the group he was in with his best friend, after all, so he hoped their dynamic would help with their performance. The words “perfect synergy” would definitely be floating around Mason’s head for a while, but he didn’t dwell on it too much; he knew not every single comment was going to be positive (that only happened in his best dreams). He nodded about the mood having potential to be stronger, making a mental note that maybe his approach to the vibe was too casual, though he did try to make a balance. Still, these comments were great. “Oh, I thought the performance was some of my best work,” he admitted with a proud smile. “I loved the song and the dance and my team, so it motivated me to work hard to make it perfect. I’m really happy I seemed to do well.”

Then, Team B, the one Mason was even more concerned about. He was worried that his “incident” with Robby would affect the team dynamic and final performance and everyone’s scores, but it seemed like it didn’t, so Mason was even more relieved. He had to keep himself from smirking about the comment about giving the rappers more lines; a part of him felt vindicated, to be honest. Then, the question was asked, and Mason knew what they were talking about. He let out a little sigh before saying “You most likely heard that there was… a little moment of dissension between me and another member,” he admitted (he was happy he used a word like “dissension” properly). “It was minor, but I want to take full responsibility for it. I asked about switching official positions because I wanted to show off my best assets to you in both groups. Afterwards, I never said another word about it and just focused on making sure that I did the best that I could. But I hope that it didn’t show in our performance.”

He felt a strange weight on his chest after explaining the situation, mostly fear that his behavior might affect his future. But he knew he would have felt worse if he had just thrown Robby under the bus or lied and said that nothing happened; Mason’s guilty conscience would have been too much for that.

Then, onto individual comments. He took a deep breath and waited.

He tried to keep his smile polite, but it grew bigger as the comments continued. They saw what Mason had desperately hoped to convey; that he was able to handle whatever concept they threw at him. Still, the comment about expressions was brought up again, and he nodded. Now he knew something he really had to work on going forward if it was said twice. But ultimately, the comments were wonderful, and Mason was trying to memorize them so he could play them back later.

“Honestly, being a part of both teams was exhausting in the best kind of way,” he explained, sincerity written all over his face. “I’d rather be too busy doing what I love than have all the free time in the world. I was always in a practice room or listening to the songs or working on improving my singing voice and rapping enunciation, and I loved every second of it. Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity, and I’ll keep working to improve my facial expressions and everything else.”

Okay, maybe the last part wasn’t the most eloquent, but he was so happy it was hard for him to keep his composure. But, he made it. He got through the meeting, giving a deep bow to everyone in thanks before leaving.

Now, he was alone with his thoughts, a normally somewhat scary idea but not this time. Right now, all of his thoughts were hopeful, joyous, everything good in the world was happening in Mason’s head right now. Sure, he would have to be on his “best behaviour” from this point forward, but honestly, he always had been. All he needed to do was avoid another incident like what happened with Robby and Mason would be on his way to achieving his dreams.

He just had to follow through.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The anticipated evaluations marked a crucial moment to your character’s idol progression. Team A, B, and C, were slotted for the very first day of evaluations between over 30+ qualified trainees. With training reverting back to normal, your character, Mason Lee, will receive an e-mail from Hydra Staff with the date and time for their formal interview. Dress code is business casual, and the interview place will take place in the Office Section of the building, led by Talent Consultant Jang Hei-ran and her team. They’ll be the ones relaying individual scores, remarks from personnel (CEOs, instructors, etc.), and as previously stated, providing next-step strategies. It’s a hallmark moment that, admittedly, the company believes your character is ready for. The meeting will presumably last for half a hour or more, pending dialogue.

𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐀 will hear great remarks about the group’s teamwork, best overall within the six qualifying teams. “We were delighted to see a combined effort, the seven of you fit extremely well together. You were tasked with an upbeat hip-hop-inspired track, and it was a uh, new genre our in-house producers were testing out. And there was a perfect synergy.” The compliment draws on and seems to be gearing towards that inevitable ‘but.’ “However, the overall mood should’ve been stronger in a lot of areas.” Heiran nods in agreement to her assistant’s words, having a few thoughts of her own, and cuts in. “The team got us excited for the performance, and it showed you all were excited. How do you remember the performance?” The woman’s voice was pointed, yet her curled grin made her look pleasant at face value. A dichotomy between genuine curiosity to know the trainee’s point of view, and accusatory, goading a response that could be neither right or wrong. “Hmm, let’s move forward to your independent results.”  

𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐌 𝐁 are met with hesitant stares, lengthy greetings to feel the emotions of each male presenting trainee. Heiran answers each sentiment with leveled replies. “This team proved to be outstanding in terms of skill. From a listeners’ perspective, we wish the rappers were given more parts, the foundation really came from them. Ultimately the vocals cast a large shadow on the other teams; the ranges were consistent and quite appealing to the ear.” Her eyes light in excitement, “Personally my favorite team to watch.” The positive comments may warrant a smile, laugh, or brief response, then the leading assistant is quick to interrupt. “It was a strong overall performance, there were massive comments about how well the concept matches individual strengths. In light of such recognition, while practicing, the instructors gave us notes about all team practices. How do you feel working in a team?” They proceed with individual scores after being given answers.

“The higher-ups want to personally commend you for dedicating your time to both groups, it goes without saying we placed this particular task in the right hands. Before we move to scores, how did you feel about the dual practices?” They await for his answer before continuing, Heiran gives the trainee a gentle smile, “Team A’s song selection fit your charms naturally, and you stood out even before your dance break. A lot of the producers commented you managed the lack of line parts well with your ‘swag’ as he noted,” Laughter briefly fills the room and the assistant continues with subtle nods before continuing, “The challenge came in your second team, but then the song started and you fit the other concept that left a big impression on your label. It was especially pleasing to see the contrast, and you were able to sync up with the respective flows. From our assessment, keep honing your expressions, they must always be present watching the stage. Your results certifies you for the upcoming show you’ve signed up for and personably vouched for your attendance.”

This task is for Mason Lee! Formal Interviews traditionally go over more overview notes (skillset critique), and the extended trainee contract to highlight the need for discretion. Your character is now a Debut Candidate under 𝐖𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 and will have access on to the backdoor entrance of the company building, allowed mostly for artists and staff. In order to complete the Debut Preparation Task, players will have to:

SOLO: Write a complete thread (300+ words) about your character’s second interview. Take into account the fact the results, debut news, feelings about meeting fellow contestants, and having to be on their best behavior. The interview will be between your character and two Hydra personnel in a private training studio located on the lower floors of Hydra’s main building. Earn 25 POINTS to increase any skill on their point page or choose to collect.

Be sure to tag threads with #hd:tasks & #hd:eval! The deadline for threads/point submissions is February 21, 2023. Please, do not post mod submission until the thread is completed. The thread should be placed above the divider and under a ‘read more’ if not already placed.

[kimoralov3]

Electric Love

Requested by: @lucywrites02

Word Count: 2045

Pairing: Shang-chi x reader

Warnings: swearing (again, nothing new), reader uses they/them pronouns but is referred to as a girl like once, i felt like shit while writing over half of this so don't expect it to be good, this is the first thing i've written in a few months so again it's not the best

Your typical responsible adult had a very good handle on their time management. 

You, however, were not one of those responsible adults. 

Your cat Sparkles watched as you hobbled around on one leg trying to put on your shoes. It was currently 9 am, which meant that you were an hour and a half late for work. “Of all days for my fucking alarm not to go off.” You muttered as you rushed to fix your tie. 

You triple-check that you had everything you needed and that Sparkles’ water and food bowl was filled before rushing out the door and to the bus stop.

—

“You’re late.” Shaun said in a sing-song voice as you put your bag in your locker and pinned your name tag in place.

“I know, I know. My alarm didn’t go off this morning. Did anyone notice that I was gone?” You said as you shut your locker and turned to face him.

“Nah, our manager doesn’t start until noon today, so you’re in the clear. Just make sure to be on time tomorrow.” He joked as he ruffled your hair. You swatted away his hand and glared at his back as you watched him walk away.

He’s an asshole, but a cute asshole.

“Don’t worry, I’m setting like 5 alarms when I get home. Don’t need Monica up my ass about being late.” You said as you followed him outside. 

“God, I can’t wait until the day she either quits or moves to another location. Did you know that she spends most of her time in the break room trying to flirt with me?” Shaun asked as he unlocked the box that kept the residents’ car keys. You ignored the quick sharp pain that stabbed at your heart before replying. 

“Really? I guess she can’t take a hint. Although I can’t blame her, you are kinda hot.” That last bit slipped out before you could properly make sure what you were saying wasn’t something stupid. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I am pretty hot.” He said with a smile as he turned to take some lady’s car keys. You silently thanked her for the distraction and took it as a moment to calm yourself down. Pretty sure you could fry an egg on my face right now. 

The two of you spent the rest of your shift, trying not to take offense at the fact that people seemed to be aiming for your faces with their keys. You kept quiet as some of them flirted with Shaun, pretending that it didn’t hurt when he seemingly flirted back with them. He’s not your boyfriend, so why do you think you deserve to be upset? He’s free to flirt with whoever he wants to.

You repeated that to yourself over and over, but even after saying it a thousand times you still didn’t believe it. Later when you were putting your stuff in your locker, Shaun leaned against some of the lockers beside yours. “Do you have any plans later on today?”

“Not really, just planning on staying home with Sparkles and doing some reading. Why?” You asked as you shut your locker and turned to face him. 

“Perfect! Me and Katy are gonna go to karaoke later tonight, and we were wondering if you wanted to come with?” He asked as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Sure, sounds fun. Just text me when y’all two are ready.” You said while ignoring the way his muscles flexed as he crossed his arms. “Also, it’s Katy and I, not me and Katy.” You added on as you lightly punched his arm.

“Oh, whatever. Just don’t be late, alright?” Shaun said with a scoff as he walked away. 

You watched as he walked away, smiling at the two of you’s banter. Maybe one day I’ll have the guts to ask him out, but today is not that day.

—

The bustling sounds of the city during the night was always something that you enjoyed listening to. As you and Katy stood outside the karaoke spot waiting for Shaun, she decided to spark a conversation about something she’d been thinking about. 

“So, you seem to be pretty interested in Shaun. Do you have any plans to ask him out?” She asked as she wriggled her eyebrows at you.

The question cut you so off guard that you choked on your breath for a second. “What? What are you talking about, I’m not interested in Shaun.” Is it really that obvious? I thought that I was hiding it so well.

“Oh please, you look at him like you’d move the moon for him when you think he isn’t looking. If that’s your idea of being discreet, I hope you never try to become a spy or something.” 

“I take high offense to that, I would be a great spy. And besides, even if I was into Shaun why would it matter? He doesn’t really show any interest in me besides being my friend, and I’m fine with that.” You shrugged, hands deep in the pockets of your jacket. 

Katy rolled her eyes, but before she could respond or question you any further Shaun walked up to the two of you. “Hey, guys. You haven’t been waiting for me long, have you?”

“Nah, just standing here having some girl talk.” Katy said as she patted you on the back. You and Shaun shared an amused look before the three of you headed inside. 

—

Shaun had a pretty simple life for the most part. He woke up, got ready for work, got home, and hung out with his friends, like any other person in the world does. Except for the whole “my father trained me to be an assassin since I was 7 and sent me to kill the man who killed my mother and I ran away from him and my little sister.” But y’know, every family has its problems.

But right now, as he sat watching his friends making an absolute fool of themselves by singing Electric Love, he wasn’t thinking about all of that. 

He was thinking about how adorable his friend Y/N looked as they practically screamed the lyrics to the song. They actually didn’t sound that bad— in fact Shang-chi felt like he could listen to their voice for the rest of his life without getting tired of it. 

But these thoughts were all completely platonic of course. Shaun definitely did not have a crush on Y/N. The two of them were just friends.

Y/N was a friend that he found himself thinking about a lot more than what would be considered normal for their relationship. They were a friend that he always brought soup over to whenever they were feeling sick, and listened to their complaints about how shitty their date that night was. 

Although Shang-chi pretended not to notice the way his heart clenched when Y/N told him about a date that went better than expected. He pretended to notice the way his mood lifted whenever Y/N smiled or went on a rant about something they really loved. 

But again, these thoughts were all completely platonic.

“Hello? Earth to Shaun?” Y/N said as they waved a hand in his face. Shang-chi snapped out his thoughts, looking up to see Y/N giving him a quizzical look. “You ok?”

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine. Are you two done signing like dying cats?” He joked as he took a sip of his beer. Y/N and Katy both gave off offended scoffs. 

“Now that was very rude, Shaun. I think Y/N and I sounded absolutely beautiful. Don’t you think so, Y/N?” Katy asked as she turned to Y/N.

“I think that we sounded so good that we could perform at Coachella.” Y/N said as they sat down beside Shaun. Their face was a bit flushed from the beer, and they weren’t exactly good at holding their beer so they laid their head on Shang-chi’s shoulder. 

Don’t think about it too much, man. They're probably just a little tipsy. It doesn’t mean anything. 

“Thank you very much! Now if you two will excuse me, I’ll be going to the bathroom. Don’t have any fun without me!” Katy yelled as she walked out of the booth. Shang-chi shook his head at his friend's antics. 

“Thanks for inviting me out with the two of you tonight, it’s been very fun so far.” Y/N spoke up as they finished off their beer. 

“You’re welcome, you’re free to come out with us anytime you want to.” He said with a smile as he looked at them. The thought Shang-chi had about the two of them going out alone went unspoken though. 

He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts, he didn’t really register the words that just came out of Y/N’s mouth. “Sorry, what was that?” 

Y/N blushed and quickly looked away. “It was nothing.” They mumbled. 

“No really, what did you say? I promise that I’ll listen this time. You have my full attention.” Shaun said as he turned his body to be fully facing them. 

Y/N gave him a look, but it was pretty hard to decipher. “Why are you like this?” They asked softly.

“What are you talking about?”

“Why are you so kind? Like, you’re such a nice person it makes me sick. How am I supposed to get over my feelings for you when you do shit like this. It isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that I have to stand there while girls flirt with you, and pretend that I don’t get jealous. This is all your fault actually.” Y/N rambled on. They were so out of it, that they didn't notice the look that Shang-chi was giving them. 

Truthfully, there were a lot of emotions behind that look. Shock at the sudden outburst. Happiness at the fact that you had just confessed to him. And admiration, because you have never looked any cuter to him than you did at that moment. 

“You like me?” He whispered— although it sounded more like a 5 year old’s idea of whispering. This also wasn’t the best response, but they were both so overwhelmed they didn’t care.

“Yeah, I fucking like you! Did you think that rant was for nothing?” Y/N scoffed. The two of them just sat there, staring at each other. They knew what the next move was, but they were both too scared to take it. 

What if I’m not good enough? What if we don’t work out as a couple and end up ruining any chance of being friends again? Is that a risk I’m willing to take? These were thoughts that ran through both of their minds. Friendship was a very important thing to both of them, but their romantic feelings for each other were so strong by this point, that it’d be difficult for them to continue on in their lives, acting as if they were unaware of what the other felt. 

“Do you wanna go on a date? Like not just to a karaoke bar, but like an actual date? I feel like that’d be a better time and place to talk about our feelings than somewhere were the booth across from us is doing their own special rendition of I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift.” He said. 

Y/N smiled, shifting closer to Shaun and laying their head on his shoulder again. “I’d love that.” Shang-chi smiled back down at them, giving a quick peck on their forehead.

“Fucking finally!” Katy yelled as she walked back into the room. Shang-chi and Y/N jumped at the shouting, both looking over at their friend. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for the two of you to get together? I thought I was gonna have to lock the two of you together in a room or something to get y’all to confess your feelings. Now, what song are we singing next?” She said as she picked up the book of songs and started flipping through it.

Shaun and Y/N shared a look of amusement before helping Katy pick out a song. 

Maybe confessions aren’t such a bad thing.

[mikeyinnit]

lovebug

Pairing: Wilbur x GN!Reader

Summary: Wilbur was done with love after he lost Sally, but when Fundy introduces him to one of Niki’s friends, things start to change.

Word Count: 2k words

Notes: Songfic!! I said they would be rare and it’s the second fic I post lmao. Inspired by Lovebug by the Jonas Brothers, totally willing to do a part 2 for this one because I have other ideas with other lyrics and stuff

Tagging: N/A

After Sally, Wilbur wasn’t really looking for anyone else to love, in fact, he had given up on love entirely. He had to focus on his son and the nation he was building from the ground up.  

Then you came into the picture.

You were a friend of Niki’s, that’s how he met you. Fundy was visiting the bakery and when Wilbur came to get him, he saw you helping the young fox hybrid make cookies. It was such a sweet sight that he took a moment to just enjoy seeing his son have a great time. When he did enter, Fundy introduced the two.

“This is Y/N! They’re one of Niki’s friends. Y/N, this is my dad. He’s single.”

Of course his son would throw him under the bus like that. But you just laughed, and god did you have a beautiful laugh, and held out your hand. A gesture that Wilbur returned with one of his charming grins.

“Fundy’s talked about you all day, I feel like I know you already…” you had trailed off, obviously Fundy only referred to him as my dad, prompting him to give his name.  

“Wilbur Soot.”

“Wilbur. It’s great to meet you.”

You gave him your phone number, clearly you were as taken with Fundy as the boy was to you, for him or his son to use anytime. Then you said your goodbyes for the night as you sent them on their way with the cookies you and Fundy baked along with some extra baked goods.

Called you for the first time yesterday

Wilbur hadn’t used your number for a good couple of days. He had been busy with L’Manberg and honestly had barely had time to see his son, let alone the enchanting stranger.  

Today was a day that he could actually spend quality time with Fundy, and obviously all of that time at the bakery while he was working just made the young boy want to bake cookies with his dad. Unfortunately, Fundy was very specific with what cookies he wanted to make. The ones he baked with you.

“These don’t taste like the ones Y/N made.” Was said numerous times throughout the night no matter how Wilbur changed the recipe so eventually, he just gave up and called you to figure it out.  

“Hello?”

Your voice rang out through the telephone and it instantly felt like all of the stress of this baking night was leaving his body.

“Y/N, it’s Wilbur. We met at Niki’s the other day?”

“Wilbur! Of course. How are you? How’s Fundy?”

Another grin was brought to his face at you almost immediately asking about Fundy, though he didn’t have the chance to respond as the aforementioned hybrid returned from getting more ingredients for the cookies and practically begged his father to put you on speaker so he could talk to you as well.

“Y/N!!”

It was almost like he could hear the smile on your face as you spoke to Fundy. “Fundy! What are you up to?”

“We’re trying to bake cookies but dad can’t make them like you.”

Wilbur heard that laugh again, that beautiful laugh that he first heard at the bakery.  

“That’s because your dad probably doesn’t know the secret ingredient that we used to bake those cookies. How about you give the phone back to him so I can let him know and then I’m sure you two will bake the best cookies ever.”

Then the phone was back in his hand and he spoke, “Secret ingredient?”

You grinned as you answered, “I just told him to tell the dough nice things in his life. Some people say speaking love into the dough helps, I don’t know if it’s true or not but he had fun with it.”

It sounded ridiculous, but Wilbur decided to try it.

“Thanks, Y/N. I’ll let you know how it goes.”  

This time, Fundy thought the cookies were perfect.  

I finally found the missing part of me

You became a big part of his routine after that night. He would see you at the bakery every time he came to get his son, he called you even when he was at work, you quickly became an important part of his life. Fundy loved you, days together often involved him telling Wilbur all about whatever the two of you got up to.  

Wilbur wasn’t a stranger to love, he loved Sally, he loved his country, he loved his son. But it felt very different with you. He couldn’t even say it was love yet, you just felt like you fit with him and Fundy. You were kind, and obviously cared about his son, you were funny, the texts and calls he exchanged with you never failed to put a smile on his face. And you cared about his son a lot, which was certainly not a negative. For the two of them, it felt like you were the perfect fit to the puzzle they didn’t realize was missing a piece.

I felt so close but you were far away

Getting used to having you in his routine meant it really sucked when you traveled to a village far away. Fundy missed you and honestly, Wilbur did too. You promised the young boy that you wouldn’t be gone for long, and told him that he was welcome to call you at anytime. Which Fundy took full advantage of. Every night before the young fox hybrid went to bed, he called you on Wilbur’s phone and the two of them heard about your day and they shared details of their own. On certain nights, you even joined Wilbur in singing a lullaby for him.  

People say that absence makes the heart grow fonder and that absolutely seemed true with your trip. Both of the boys missed you and wondered when you would be back, but luckily, you came back within a month. And you came back with plenty of gifts for Fundy, which made the boy ridiculously happy. You even got a gift for Wilbur, which was certainly a pleasant surprise since really, you being back was enough of a gift for him.  

That night, he invited you over for dinner. He said it was to celebrate your return, which is true, but he also just wanted to spend time with you now that you were back. You agreed, and the three of you even tried baking dessert, which resulted in a small flour fight initiated by you.  

Wilbur usually liked everything in order and in his control, something like throwing flour around and making a complete mess of his kitchen is something that Tommy would enjoy, but somehow it felt okay with you and his son.  

I never thought that I’d catch this lovebug again

After that night, Wilbur came to realize that he did like you, if not love you. You were a nice balance to his control and an escape from the stress of his job as president.  

At first, it felt like a betrayal to Sally. He decided he was going to focus on his son and his nation, not love. He decided that long before you came into the picture and he was a man of his word. Even if that word was only said to himself.

He knew he couldn’t just outright ignore you. Not only would that be unfair to you, it wouldn’t be fair to Fundy.  So he had to deal with it another way, throwing himself further into his work. It meant less time with his son but it was very productive for L’Manberg. Plus it meant Fundy got to see you and Niki more so Wilbur is certain that the young fox would understand and perhaps enjoy this more than spending time with him.  

There was a knock at his door but Wilbur didn’t even look up as he called out, “Come on in.” Obviously it wasn’t Tommy since the boy never knocked but it could have been Tubbo or Jack Manifold or even someone from outside of L’Manberg.  

“You would think that in a time of peace, the president would have more free time.”

He knew that voice. He could never forget the face that went along with it. Your smile and eyes never left his mind even with him trying his hardest to shut out the rest of the world.  

“Y/N, I wasn’t expecting to see you. What brings you by?”

“I haven’t seen you in a while, Fundy told me you’ve been sleeping here lately so I thought I would check on you.”  

And there was that kindness again. The kindness that made him fall in love with you in the first place.  

“I’m okay, Y/N. Just busy.”  

“Too busy to stop by the bakery to see your friends? Or to even come home and see your son at night?”

There was an edge to your voice and Wilbur wasn’t sure how he felt about it, obviously he thought that Fundy would prefer spending time with you and Niki over himself but it seemed like you disagreed.

You strongly disagreed.  

“I’ve just been busy. Running a country is a lot of work, Fundy will understand. He gets to see you and Niki more anyways, he’s happier that way.” He shifted his eyes back to the papers in front of him, letters he had been drafting for the past two hours and couldn’t get anywhere with.  

“Fundy is a child, Wilbur. Niki and I are happy to see him at the bakery but we aren’t replacements for his dad. His dad who suddenly became “too busy” almost overnight. What happened?”  

It truly was sweet the way you cared about his son that much. Enough to come to his office when you could be sleeping. This could have been a good moment for him to say what was on his mind, that he thinks he was falling in love with you and didn’t want to betray his dead wife. But he lied.

“Tommy has been getting into trouble with Dream recently, I want to make sure we don’t fight in another war so soon. Or ever again.” It was a solid lie, Tommy had a reputation for being a troublemaker and he could use that to his advantage. You seemed like you were about to speak, probably about Fundy, so he spoke first, “I promise that I will talk to Fundy and see him more as soon as I get this figured out. Thank you, Y/N, it’s really nice Thank you, Y/N, it’s really nice to know that someone else cares about Fundy this much, he needs that.”

“It’s not just him that I care about, Wilbur. I wish you would see Fundy more sooner but I was also worried about you, I know you care about him so something had to be going on for you to miss seeing him this often.”

Well that certainly didn’t help with him trying to ignore these feelings.

“Then I thank you again. I really appreciate it. Goodnight, Y/N. Get some sleep.”

“Goodnight, Wilbur.”

I kissed them for the first time yesterday

Wilbur kept the promise he made to you. Considering the reason he gave you for being busy was a lie, it wasn’t hard to get back to seeing his son and by extension, you.  

If you asked him, he would say he’s handling his feelings for you rather well now. He hasn’t done anything about it but he isn’t shutting out the world so, progress.

It was another dinner night with you and Fundy, you had brought desert with you this time so they didn’t have another flour fight but it was still lovely. After he sent Fundy to bed, you stuck around.  

The two of you had been sitting on the couch together for a whole, just talking about anything, and maybe it was just because it was late and you looked so beautiful but something came over Wilbur and he asked, “Would you mind if I tried something?”

You nodded, curious about what he was going to try, but you didn’t stay curious for long as Wilbur gently cupped your face with one hand and leaned in to kiss you.

A kiss that you returned.  

I never thought that I’d get hit by this lovebug again