#and thank you rachel for helping me think about these! i had a couple planned out but she helped me figure out the rest

[fadefromthelight]

Happy Aro Week!

A couple more aro headcanons for aro week this year!

[fashionteahouse]

ONG I loved ur LSD I need more. Why were they in the room?why have Paul and reader sleeping together? How does the pack feel about this?….

I need answers 😩

omg thank youuu 🤭 ur questions will be answered hope you enjoy :)

L$D - reader x embry and paul x rachel

AN: for context, read: part 1 here this part is more or so the backstory that leads up to part 1. sorry if this story is too long :s

Rachel lounged comfortably as the afternoon sun was shining through the windows.

You lounged next to her. Rachel didn’t allow many people to be on her bed, but you both were very close.

One thing you liked about Rachel, was her openness. However, it was exclusive for those she handpicked to be in her life. Rachel enjoyed how you didn’t experience too much of life without her, she loved the curiosity and zest for life that you had. There have been instances where she had introduced you to things.

She was blunt. She didn’t care. That’s why your mouth was a bit open, not due to shock, but with what she said.

“We became open.”

“Huh?” you question her.

She makes a face that’s proving to you that she’s not lying.

“You could do that?” you ask her.

“Yeah.” she says as she laughs a little, “We agreed on conditions of course.”

“Do tell.” you say, itching for more information.

“I pick the girl. He picks the guy.”

“I guess…That’s fair.” you say.

You couldn’t imagine you and Embry being open. He’s all you’ve ever known. You felt the devotion from Embry to know that he would never go behind you. He told you everything. Sometimes, too much.

You also didn’t know, that imprints could do such a thing. Rachel must’ve seen the conflicted look on your face as she scarily answers the questions that was in your head.

“Paul is in the palm of my world. He just wants me happy. I’m the one who suggested it.”

You’re now in shock. Rachel being the one to give the green light was not what you expected.

“Guys usually are the ones I hear about suggesting open relationships.” you say, but then again, you were going off of the media you have consumed.

Rachel laughs at your statement.

“But, at least tell me why. I thought you and Paul were like…I don’t know, perfect.”

“I have needs as well. I like the feeling of not being tied down or feeling like I’m the reason the person who’s with me is tied down. I enjoy my bit of fun. Especially, since I’m still young.” she says.

“I hope it works out for you guys. You are my couple goals.” you say in a playful manner.

Rachel laughs again, “Who are you telling? You and Embry are already like a married couple.”

“Yeah right.” you quietly say as you wave her off.

“It’s true.” she says still chuckling.

You’re quiet and she notices.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I just think you and Embry are like the ideal imprint couple.”

You start thinking, “Hm…”

Paul came home. You couldn’t help but to watch them as they greeted each other. It was as if the talk that you and Rachel had was nothing.

“I’m gonna head back. Embry’s probably going to try to eat tv dinners so I have to make him something to eat.”

“Boooo.” Paul says in a teasing tone and Rachel laughs as she couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you guys later.” you say and exit out of their shared home.

You hear Embry’s fork clatter down softly and you look up.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks.

“Nothing, really.” you say but he’s not convinced.

“If it’s nothing, then why are you thinking about it?” he asks. You softly sigh.

“It’s only girl talk with Rachel, really.” you say.

He leaves it at that.

Rachel sings along to the radio, as she stops at a red light.

You were in the passenger seat, waiting to go the restaurant she had plans on going to.

A car, pulls beside her to also wait for the red light to change green.

You watch as the two exchange looks, before putting down their windows, exchanging phone numbers.

“Him?” you ask as you both follow the waiter to the booth you were walking to.

As you sit down, tell the waiter the drinks you both want, Rachel tells you.

“If anything, he can just eat me out.”

“Wow.” you breathe out. The waiter comes back and you and Rachel take a sip of the freshly filled drinks. You tell the waiter what you both would like to eat.

“Why not just have Paul do it? Don’t you love him?” you ask.

“I love that he allows me to do what I want.” she says with a smile as she placed the straw in her lips.

You don’t notice her, but she stares at you for a moment before changing the topic.

Rachel’s fingers type back and forth as she messaged the person who seen her at the red light. He was a bit corny. She sighed to herself as she lessened her sentences to him, feeling totally uninterested.

“What’s wrong with you?” Paul asks as he placed a kiss on her temple.

“This guy is lame.”

“I thought I was picking the guy.”

“You haven’t picked anyone yet.” Rachel says, showing signs of impatience. Paul lays back on his pillow.

“You won’t like who I pick.” Paul states as he grins a bit.

“Who?”

“I haven’t figured it out yet.” he says, “In the meantime, stop giving lames the time of day.”

“How do I know you aren’t doing the same.” Rachel teases as she fluffed her pillow.

“You know me.” he simply says. She couldn’t argue with that.

You and Rachel sat on Emily’s porch swing. You whispered to each other. The wolves were in the home and you both wanted some type of privacy from their supernatural hearing.

“I didn’t talk to that guy again.” Rachel whispers.

“I’m just curious. If you’re picking the girl, would it be a random stranger you would think is cute or what?”

Rachel sits back about as the swing swung.

“Someone I would trust. I know Paul and girls will think they can fuck him good enough to take me out of the equation.” she whispers but rolls her eyes at such thought.

“Do you think he shares the same fear?”

“Maybe. But, he knows I wouldn’t like..Leave him.” Rachel whispers.

Paul bursts out onto the porch and you and Rachel jump a bit.

“Yeah, what were you two doing?” he says as he flops right in the middle of you two.

“Being interrupted. What do you want?” Rachel asks.

“To see what you two were whispering about.” he whispers in a dramatic way.

“Nothing.” you whisper back as if you were telling a scary story.

Paul chuckled at this.

Rachel looks at you.

Embry comes out, smiling a bit when he sees you.

You rise and hug him.

“You ready to go?” he asks you. You nod and wave bye to both of them. Rachel watched as Paul watched you walk off with Embry.

Later that night, Embry snored softly beside you.

Your phone buzzed as you watched tv in the bedroom you two shared, you made sure the volume wasn’t distracting.

“I have a question”

“Oh god.” you thought in your head. It was from Rachel and you knew this would not be innocent question.

“I feel like I should be scared to know”

You type back.

Another buzz hits you as you read the message.

“Aren’t you at least curious to know how it feels to have experience to compare?”

You look to the sleeping Embry before typing back.

“It’s never really crossed my mind. I haven’t really thought of it too much.”

You wait for a reply but you don’t get one. You just continue watching your television.

That next morning, you and Embry ate before he had to leave for patrol.

“Can I ask you something?” you ask him.

“Sure. What’s up.” he answers and starts chewing.

“Would you…Hm…What would you do if I told you I wanted an open relationship?” you ask him.

He looks up from his food, “Is..That what you want?”

“No I- It’s just a thought.” you say.

You watch as he chews and thinks for a moment, “I mean..I would ask why you would want one of course. But, ultimately, I would want to know if…That’s what’s going to make you happy.”

You nod as you digest this.

As you and Rachel walked along the somewhat empty beach, you both fall into talk.

“I asked Embry what he would do if I asked for an open relationship.” you tell her.

“What did he say.” she says with a curious grin.

“He said he would want to know why and would want to know if that’s what would make me happy.” you tell her.

“But, would you?” she asks.

“Would I what?”

“Ask him for one?” she asks again.

You sigh softly, “I don’t know. Probably not. But, I am curious.”

“About what?”

You look to her before feeling a wave of shame, “You said something about that guy…Eating you out. Embry’s not into it.”

“Whaaat!” she says as she stops her steps to look at you.

“Rach, come on.” you groan.

“No, you come on. What do you mean Embry’s not into it.”

You shrug quickly, “I don’t know. Going down on each other is just…Something we just don’t do.”

Rachel scoffs, “So, what. You both do the same positions? All the time?”

“So what if we do. We’re both fine with it. It’s not like I’m missing out-”

“Okay, that’s enough. I’ve heard enough. Y/N, come on. The white light is what you’re missing out on.” she says with a hand held up and shakes her head.

You stuff your hands in your pockets and look into the distance.

“Look, don’t hate me after I say this.” she says.

You look at her.

“If I had to pick a girl for Paul, it would be you.”

Your eyes widen.

“Just hear me out.” she says.

“Rachel-“

“Just hear me out. I trust you more than anyone and..I feel like you should at least know what it feels like to have fun with sex.”

Your hands cover your face.

“Look, I’m not saying you’re going to sleep with Paul. It’s just how I feel at the moment.”

You waited at home for Embry to walk in, any moment.

Your mind kept thinking back to the conversation you and Rachel had earlier.

Your mind was uncomfortable but you did wonder if there was a way to spice up you and Embry’s intimacy.

You greet him with a hug and a sensual kiss.

“Hey.” he says softly as he looks at you. You lean back into another kiss.

He got the idea, kissing you back.

Before he did the usual of sleeking himself against your wetness before sinking in, you whisper to him, “Can you…?”

“Can I what?” he asks back, dripping in velvet.

You rub his arm to add onto the persuasion, “You know..Eat me out?”

He pauses and gives a look, “Where’s this coming from?”

“I thought it would be fun.” you say, “It’s fine. Just come here.”

You want him to lay on his back, which he does, but you move your body down on him.

He watched as you then try to put him close to your mouth but he catches you. “Y/N. What are you doing?” he says with a smile.

“I thought it would be fun.” you say, shrugging.

“Yeah, but…” he trails off, you picked up on his uncomfortable smile.

“Sorry. I’m sorry.” you say and kiss him on the face instead, trying to bring the mood back into the room.

He lets his hands caress your body, choosing to use his fingers, not his tongue.

He did the usual, but you didn’t come as hard as you usually did.

In Rachel and Paul’s home, Rachel talked to him as she brushed her teeth. He washed his body while she did so.

“I was on patrol with Embry. Apparently Y/N asked him what he would do if she asked to be open.” he says as the water runs down his body.

Rachel slows her brushing, “Really?” She already knew from you, but she had no idea that Embry would still think about it.

“Yeah.” he says laughing to himself a bit.

“How did he feel about it. Y/N told me she asked him and told me what he said to her.”

The water turns off and he grabs a towel.

“I feel fucked up but he didn’t know I was around, he kept picturing Y/N with someone else. How he felt? Horny as fuck.” he says snickering.

He left Rachel to have it sit on her brain.

Embry had a lot of things on his mind. He barely engaged in conversations at Emily’s.

He watched you and Rachel talk and laugh about. He then observed how Paul was also watching you two. Unwanted thoughts began to flow through his brain.

He wondered if something in you and Rachel’s conversation is what made you ask him to go down on you. He knew that type of talk to especially come from Paul.

As they all rise to move into the dining room to eat, Embry was snapped out his thoughts as Paul slapped him on the shoulder, “You coming?”

Embry shakes out his deep thoughts, “Yeah.”

Embry ate silently as everyone else around him was falling into the fundamentals of an enjoyable dinner.

You noticed his silence. You still made sure to snake your hand in his. Rachel noticed as well. You two would’ve bantered a bit about something if this was any other time. She didn’t say anything though as she continued her dinner.

You and Rachel were saying your final goodbyes to each other as Paul pulled Embry to the side. Paul tried to make conversation with him, but Embry was acting stand offish. Feeling like he didn’t do anything to him, Paul says, “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing, man.” Embry shrugs.

“I was just checking because you’re not acting like it’s nothing.” Paul says, clearly spending enough time with him to catch him in a lie.

Embry brings on a small grin, “Yeah, it’s nothing. I’ll see you tomorrow.” They both nod off to each other as each went their own direction.

You waited for Embry in bed. He climbed in and kissed you goodnight.

You rub his shoulder and press a light kiss on his neck. Saying it without hardness he lets you know, “I want to, just not tonight. I gotta get up early.”

You slump back and tell him, “Okay.”

You shake your head as you vent. You and Rachel were in a parking lot eating take out. You felt frustrated. It was in the spur of the moment. You couldn’t sleep because you knew that any other time, he would’ve stayed up anyways.

“Since when did he care that he had to get up early.” you say and remember the times where Sam chastised him about being late all because he would leave at the last minute.

“Paul did say he wasn’t like himself.” Rachel mused.

“Unbelievable. I don’t understand. Things were good but I don’t know anymore. With Embry, I knew everything.” you say.

“Well, just try to talk to him.” She says.

You closed the now empty container and had an epiphany.

“What?” Rachel asks as she’s watching you just rack your mind.

“I think it’s my fault.” you say and slump your shoulders.

“What? Why would on earth would you think that?” she asks.

“Things got a little..I don’t know, different since I asked him-“ you say and shake your head.

“Asked him what? What did you ask him?” Rachel asks.

You debrief Rachel about what happened when you asked Embry to go down on you.

“It’s okay. It’s nothing to beat yourself up over.” Rachel says.

“But, I’m the one who made things weird!” you exclaim.

“Did he say that?”

“No-“

“Then you didn’t.” she says deadpanning.

You go back to her home with her.

“Hey.” you both greet Paul as he sits in the living room watching sports. He mumbled a greeting back.

You follow Rachel up the stairs.

You lie your back on the mattress and stare at the ceiling.

“Stop thinking about it, Y/N.”

“How could I not.” you say.

Rachel rested her head on the hand of her bent elbow.

“I literally started bringing things up out of nowhere.” you say.

Rachel rolls her eyes, “Just ask him again.”

Paul comes in and shakes his head at Rachel. Rachel looks, “What?”

“Where’s my kiss?” he asks.

“Where’s my kiss?” she asks and mocks his greeting when you and her came in the door.

This makes Paul laugh and you look away and felt the bed dip and hear a smack from them.

You felt a brush on your leg and look and groan. You didn’t expect Paul to fully make out with Rachel. This makes both Paul and Rachel pull from each other’s lips as they laughed.

“Alright, Rachel I’ll see you later.” you say and move to stand.

“No. No. Okay, get out Paul.” she says. You chuckle a bit.

“How are you kicking me out of my own room?” he asks and gets even more comfortable.

“Me and Y/N are talking.” she says.

“Why can’t we all talk?”

“Don’t you have a game to watch?” you ask to him as you sit next to Rachel on the bed.

“They lost. Now, I’m bored.” he says.

“Not our problem.” Rachel says.

“You two passing secrets or something?” he teases.

“Yeah, it’s about how I can’t stand you.” Rachel says sarcastically.

“I caught you two whispering. I want in on the scoop.” he says.

You swallow and Paul immediately notices and mischievously chuckles, “Something’s up.”

“Nothing’s up. God, you’re so annoying.” Rachel sighs out.

“Alright. Ask who again?” he challenged, letting you both know it didn’t move past his ears as he came up the steps.

“None of your buisness.” you say but it wasn’t confident. Paul had fun with this.

“Who do you think I am?” he says shaking his head, still smirking.

You narrow your eyes at him.

“I can tell you something.” he says enticingly. Rachel playfully smack him on the arm.

“Don’t fall for it, Y/N.” Rachel says.

“Even you don’t even know what I’m about to say.” he says to Rachel and this makes her take a look a him. He wasn’t kidding around.

“What?” Rachel asks.

He chuckles as he looked at her and he then takes a look at you.

“I got back from patrol, right? But, with Embry.” he says.

“Okay, who cares.” you say and Rachel snickers.

“We talked.” he says.

“And?” Rachel says.

“And I want to know what you’re going to ask who again?”

You groan, “Just tell me. Quit fucking around.”

“No.”

“Just tell me.” Rachel says. Paul gives her a look and she rolls her eyes, “Just whisper it in my ear.”

Paul actually considers this but says, “This means you have to tell me.”

Rachel agrees and Paul sealed it with a pinkie promise and tells you, “Move, Y/N.”

You move to the near end of the bed, Paul places his lips close to Rachel’s ear. Rachel had a look on her face and you watch her face carefully. You were mad that Paul was a good whisperer because you couldn’t hear a thing he was telling her. She reacted subtly and this made you really want to know.

She looks at you as he sits back with a smirk.

“What?” you ask.

“Nope. Rachel, tell me.” he says.

“It matches up with what we talked about, Y/N.” Rachel tells you.

“I only asked Embry to… ya know…” you gesture in a down motion and say, “And Rachel only wants me to ask him again. Happy?”

“No, are you happy?” he says humorously.

You roll your eyes as Rachel covers her mouth, hiding her laugh.

“I would’ve never thought Embry didn’t like to get his dick sucked.” he says. You gasp as Rachel scolds him, “Paul!”

“How do you know that?” you question him. That was something that only you knew.

“I told you I was on patrol with him and I talked to him.” Paul says and dives into how Paul was coming back to him and Embry’s meetup spot. There was no signs of active threats in the part Paul was supposed to keep watch of.

Paul stopped moving once he caught a flash of what you two did the night before. He kept it hidden for the time being, but he felt bad when you looked excited but Embry didn’t want to go through with it. He then watched how Embry wouldn’t let you go further.

That’s when Embry thought about the discussion you both had over being open. That’s when the fantasies began.

Paul had to say something, “Just be open.”

“Dude, mind your buisness!” Embry says. He was caught off guard.

Paul then shows Embry how him and Rachel are open.

“You wouldn’t get jealous?” Embry questions as he walked through the woods with Paul. They been could’ve went back to Sam’s but, this was more entrapping.

“I’m made for Rachel, practically. She would choose me everytime.”

“Wow. I mean, I felt bad when I turned her down. I just can’t get into it. It feels too much like teasing…I don’t know.”

“Just think about it. It might I don’t know, create balance if you both want different things.” Paul says.

“So, what happens if Rachel picks a girl and you don’t want her?” Embry asks.

“Rachel is holding off, but I know her. She’s going to pick someone who she trusts the most.”

“Y/N would never.” Embry says with confidence.

“What if she agrees?” Paul asks.

“But, she wouldn’t.”

“But, you don’t know that. Why did she question you then?” Paul challenged.

Embry was stuck, “It doesn’t matter. Look, I’m glad that you and Rachel have your thing going on. But, me and Y/N are fine.”

Paul busts his lie, proving to Embry how he caught him secretly enjoying the thought of you having intercourse with someone else. While he watched.

“Fuck off Paul.” Embry says and continues walking.

“Just talk to her. Look, if she says yes, you could be there in there with us.” Paul says and leave him alone.

You just didn’t understand it.

“How come he’s never talked to me about this?” you wondered out loud.

“Just talk to him.” Paul says.

“Is it true?” you ask Rachel.

“I thought you would’ve figured it out when we talked at the restaurant.”

“Wait, you both talked about this, already?” Paul questions.

“Not like that. I told her it would be my pick of someone who I deem as the most trustworthy.” Rachel tells him.

You look at Paul. Paul looks at you.

“And then, you both are already familiar with each other so it wouldn’t be awkward.” Rachel says.

“I don’t know.” you say as you shake your head.

When you came home, Embry didn’t greet you at the door. You enter the room you both shared and he sat on the bed.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, “And don’t say ‘nothing’ ”

You sit next to him.

He actually looks at you.

“Would you do it?” Embry asks.

“Do what?”

He thinks of his words for a moment before asking, “What would you do if I asked us to be open.”

You sigh softly, “I would ask if that’s something you’re comfortable with doing.”

“Have you thought about it? You asked me about it that one day.” he says.

“I only brought it up because Rachel told me about what her and Paul had going on.” you admit.

“And then when you wanted to do oral.” he points out.

“I’m sorry, if I made things weird between us.” you say.

“You didn’t make things weird. I feel like I did.” he says.

“Why would you think that?” you ask.

“Because…I know you want me to go down on you and everything and you looked very willing and I feel like I ruined your mood by rejecting it.” he says.

“You didn’t ruin anything, Embry.” you say.

“But, would you want to?” he asks.

“Want to…? What?” you ask.

“Be open.” he asks.

Your breath hitched.

“I don’t know. What- What about you.”

“I would do it if you did it.” he says, “You like different things than me.”

“Oh.” you say.

“Would you do it…With Paul?” he asks.

You look at him. So Paul really wasn’t lying.

“Um..I don’t know. Maybe?” you say.

“It’s alright, Y/N. I would be there.”

You stand, “Like, in the room?”

He nods.

It kind of did kill the jitters of the idea of it. If Embry was there, nothing would go out of line.

Paul lay in bed as Rachel pulled the covers over herself.

“I picked someone.”

“Who?” Rachel says, barely paying attention.

“What about Embry?” he asks.

“Embry?” Rachel says and looks at Paul.

“Yeah.” Paul says and moved his eyes from the ceiling to Rachel’s eyes.

“Why him?” Rachel asks. She thought of Embry as innocent in a way. She felt like she would do more damage than good.

“Take the stick out of his ass.”

Rachel rolls her eyes, “Of course.” she continues, “Y/N would not let me touch Embry.”

“Just ask her.”

“Our friendship would literally go bye-bye if I asked her.”

“Fine. I’ll ask her.”

“No!” Rachel says.

“You won’t do it. What? How come you can pick someone but as soon as I do, you shoot it down.”

“I’m not shooting it down. I will ask, but if she hates me, I’m blaming you.” she says and lays her head on the pillow.

“She won’t hate you.” Paul says quietly.

“Why are you so quiet?” you ask Rachel as you sat in front her, eating a muffin that Emily had made.

“Yeah, is everything alright?” Emily asks.

Rachel looks at you, “I’m fine.”

You look at her. Oh, yeah. Something was not fine.

“We’ll be back Emily.” Rachel says to you as she tugs you out of the door.

You speed walk to catch up to her.

“What’s going on?” you ask.

“Remember that..Talk..That me, you and Paul had the other day?”

You nod.

“He picked Embry.”

You look to the side, “It makes sense.”

“Y/N.” she says in shock.

You look up, “What?”

“He said Embry.” Rachel says.

“I heard you the first time. Don’t you think it’s at least fair?” you say.

“I don’t want you to hate me for this.” she says.

“How do you think I feel right now? Embry told me he wants to be in the room when it happens.” you tell her.

“Really?” Rachel asks and you nod. Relief washes over her face and this makes you huff out a small chuckle.

“Yes.” you say.

“So, you don’t mind if..I’m there too?” she asks you.

“I wouldn’t expect you not to be in there. That’s your imprint.”

So it’s settled.

You sat next to Rachel on the couch. The boys came in from patrol.

“Where’s Paul and Embry?” Rachel asks the boys as she doesn’t see them come in.

“Went home.” Jared says with a shrug and greets his imprint with a kiss.

You and Rachel looked at each other.

You both rise at the same time.

“You’re not staying?” Kim asks as Jared wrapped his arm around her.

You shake your head.

“How much you want to bet they’re at my place?” Rachel asks you.

You chuckle at this as you both see the home come into view.

You follow her into the door and sure enough, both Paul and Embry sat on the couch.

“Hey.” you and Rachel say at the same time. They greet back and by the looks of it, they were in the middle of talking.

Rachel moves to sit right on Paul’s lap and looks at Embry. You saw the blush on his face and hold his hand.

“Did you ask her?” Paul asks Rachel.

“Yes. She doesn’t mind.” Rachel says while still looking at Embry.

“Embry doesn’t mind either. Right, Embry?” Paul asks him. Embry nods and looks to you, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

You nod slightly.

“You’re acting like I’m going to kill her.” Paul says. Rachel chuckles.

“You might. Before Rachel, on patrol I would see how you used to pound those girls.” Embry defends.

“That’s different. I care about Y/N, I didn’t care about those other girls.” he says as he looks at you.

Rachel gets up excitedly, “Alright, what are we waiting for?”

She pulled Embry up by his hands. She tugged in the bedroom. Paul has his hand out as he waits for you.

You take it and he pulls you up off from the couch. You let out a surprised noise when he picks your body up. As he held you, your face was close to his and he walked to where Embry and Rachel were.

You weren’t used to someone else other than Embry to feel on your body. You look to see Rachel holding Embry into a kiss. She was leading him. He let her.

You felt your chin being snatched in other direction. His lips felt soft and moved with such precision, you forgot that it wasn’t Embry that you were kissing.

It was euphoric as he licked and sucked on your tongue as your hands snaked through his soft hair. He moaned a bit in your mouth before moving your body to feel how hard he was.

It felt like a rush. You were sure that if you took drugs, it would feel like this moment. You were only a bit tipsy.

You look up to the body that was towering over you. The hunger in his eyes made your stomach do backflips. It was intense.

“You don’t have to be shy.” Paul says to you with a grin.

You allow yourself to feel comfortable as you lay back on his bed. He never would forget the sight.

He would never forget your taste as you squirmed on his tongue. His tongue flicked up as he gathered your juices that you kept producing.

You were panting and breathing hard as you plead and beg him, “Please, just please.”

“Please what?” he says as he circled your sensitive nub, staring down at your flushed face. He was going to drag this out as long as he could.

You groan at his teasing.

“Repeat after me?” he asks you. You nod a little.

“Paul.” he says and you repeat him, “Paul.”

“Please.” he says and you repeat him, “Please.”

“Fuck me.” he says and you repeat him, “Fuck me.”

He held you close as he held your sides in a strong grip. The sound of skin slapping filled the room as you both belt out noises of pleasure. He let you know how wet you are and you let him know good he feels.

You head rolls to the side as the thrusts were great.

Embry sat in a chair that was in the bedroom. Rachel rocked his world by the look of his face, she thrusts on top of him as he clutched onto her.

Your chin was moved back to have your face, face Paul.

“Look at me. Look at what you’re doing to me.” he whispers to you and slowly pulls himself out. You looked as he glistened below. You groaned quietly as he slowly stuck it back in. You heard your own wetness as you heard his own groans.

Embry kissed you on the side of your lips.

“Are you alright?” he asks you as you buried yourself underneath the covers.

“Yes, I’m alright. What about you?” you ask. You were very tired.

He makes a satisfied look and nods, “I’m alright. It went better than I thought it would be.”

“Yeah. Do you think things will be weird?” you question.

“Nah. I don’t think so.” he answers back.

He then speaks again, “Me and Paul will keep it from the pack to make sure it doesn’t get too weird.”

You nod as you sink further into the bed. You yawned and before you knew it, you were fast asleep.

[hmhas-00]

Ch. 15

Hit Me Hard & Soft

A/N- Hi lovelies! I hope you like today’s chapter! The next few chapters after this one will be more and more intense… hope you’re ready for some angst! 🤪

Remy’s POV

“Remy, can I see you in my office please?” Joe peeked around the cubicle, startling me half to death.

I looked up from my laptop, “Yeah, I’ll be there in just a minute, let me save my work.”

“It’s quite urgent.” He walked away, closing the door to his office once inside.

I rolled my eyes, wondering what he could possibly want this early in the morning.

I was finalizing edits on the new article for the month of December. I couldn’t believe an entire month had gone by already, and Christmas decorations were being put up.

When I knock on Joe’s door, he invites me in immediately. “Come in, take a seat.” He says without looking up from his screen.

“You wanted to see me?”

“Certainly. It’s been brought to my attention that you requested off December 3rd-8th?”

I nodded, “Yes, that’s right. I have a trip planned to-“

He cut me off, “That’s in 4 days, isn’t it?” He looked at his calendar.

“Yes, Joe, I requested it over two weeks ago. You approved it.”

“That doesn’t sound like something I would do, especially with so many people taking time off for the holidays this month.”

“Joe, I can’t cancel this trip. Is there any way we can-“

“Remy, you have that end of the year evaluation coming up don’t you?” He angled his glasses down and leaned back in his chair.

“I believe so.”

“I believe you’re overdue for a raise as well.”

“I am.”

“Remy, I read the digital article you published for Rachel in October.” He took off his glasses and set them on the dark, wooden desk.

“You mean the article Rachel-“

“I know your writing. I could pick out your writing blind in a room full of others. I’ve seen Rachel’s work and there’s no way in hell that was hers.” He said monotoned, straight to the point.

I shifted in my chair, feeling like I blew her cover, even though it seemed fair. In a way it made me feel accomplished that he could tell it was me. What differentiated my writing from Rachel’s? The girl he hired for my position. If he felt like this, why was she still better than me? Why did she get the comfortable salary and the flashy new title? Still, I began to feel that hope again. That hope he always managed to snatch away.

“It is in your best interest to stay put. That is, if you don’t want your evaluation to suffer. December is our busiest time of the year. You know that by now.” He put his glasses back on and resumed on his computer. “Think about it.”

“I’ll make some accommodations, thank you, Joe.” I stood up, walking towards the door.

“Close the door on your way out, darling.”

I drove to Billie’s after my day ended. In her kitchen, we ate the yummy meal she made, sitting at her rustic, wooden picnic style dining table.

I was nervous to tell her I wouldn’t be able to join her on tour when she leaves again in a couple of days. Especially since I had already cancelled on her a bunch the week of Thanksgiving, because Joe needed me to work the whole time. Apparently, Rachel had turned in her time off requests the moment she was hired, meaning I had to spend late nights at the office instead of helping Billie’s family prep for thanksgiving dinner.

“You’re quiet today, everything okay at work?” She asked, twirling chickpea pasta around her fork and putting it in her mouth.

I chewed my food, covering my mouth with a hand.“Yeah, just a slight change of plans.”

“What kind of change?” She asked hesitantly.

“At the end of the year I’ll be evaluated, and be given a raise! Maybe even a promotion?” I tiptoed around the details, truly wanting her to get it.

“Rem, that’s crazy! It’s great, it was about time!”

“I know! He even basically said my writing was way better than Rachel’s, and he could tell it apart from anyone else’s!”

“Really?” She smiled, briefly grabbing my arm and shaking it, excitedly.

“Yes!” I cheered. “I think he might make me a co-writer… Well officially. Or even better, in charge of her.”

“Well, what’s the catch? Humiliation ritual?” She joked, waiting for me to laugh with her.

“Well…” I fought with the pasta on my fork as I clenched my teeth in my mouth, trying to put the words in the right order before saying them out loud.

She put her fork down, watching me intently, noticing I wasn’t about to joke with her.

“I can’t come with you to Vancouver.” I felt awful, immediately reading her eyes.

“You mean, you’ll meet me in Seattle then, right?” she asked, hoping I wasn’t serious.

“Billie, I won’t be coming at all, I’m sorry.” I looked at her, seeing sadness in her eyes. She said nothing at all. “It’s just, this is really important to me. And I’m finally making my way up! I wouldn’t cancel if it didn’t know it was serious! This evaluation, I can’t afford to-“

“This just happened a week ago, Remy.”

“Well, technically I came to see you every day I could, after work!”

“You fell asleep on me almost immediately after we put on our show every time. And thanksgiving day, you sat on your laptop and worked the whole time. You barely looked up, until it was time to eat.”

“Billie, it wasn’t my fault. Rachel was out of town-“

She closed her eyes and breathed out. I could tell she was hurt. I hate that I let her down again. “Remy, look, I know that you’re busy, and your job is important to you… But, you promised. You promised me you’d try to come see me, and we already had all these things planned for us to do…” Her voice trailed off.

“I know, I know. And I did try!”

She looked at me with that are-you-kidding-me face.

“I’m so sorry. I really want to go with you. You know I do!” I ran both my hands through my hair, scratching my scalp as an attempt to self soothe. “Look, you’ll be back in California on December 10th.”

She sighed at me. Those big blue eyes drooping in misery.

“I will be there, in San Jose, to watch you perform. It’ll be awesome. Your last leg of the American part of the tour. Wrapping it up in our home state? I’m going to be at every single one of those shows.”

“Will you?” She crossed her arms.

I held out my pinky. “I promise.”

She took one look at my hand and stood up from the table, taking her dish to the sink.

“Billie…” I watched her scrub her plate clean. I got up, standing behind her. I wrapped my arms around her neck and rested my head on her shoulder. I pressed my left cheek against hers.

“It’s fine, Rem.”

“No, it’s not. And I’m sorry… I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” I unhooked an arm and held out my pinky.

She finally gave in and linked her pinky. I could tell it wasn’t good enough, but it was the best I could give.

“I know how important it is to you. I was just looking forward to you touring with me. That’s all. I just miss you.”

“I miss you too.” I turned her around and gave her a proper hug. “I’ll see you again in a week, this time.”

“Yeah and then I leave again in February to Australia for a whole month.”

“Maybe by then I’ll be able to take a few weeks off and go Australia with you! In the meantime, let’s focus on the time being, okay?”

She pulled away, nodding. “I’m happy for you, you know that?”

“I know, it just sucks. I get it. Trust me, I wanted nothing more than to go with you.” I walked back to my plate and finished eating.

******

The week dragged on as I took over Rachel’s duties, and typed endlessly on my Mac. Joe had allowed me to use Rachel’s office to “get my creative juices flowing”. She was off for most of the month, which meant I’d be bending over backwards to get her work out in time. I still had over 5 pieces to edit, unfortunately. Billie’s instagram posts from Seattle weren’t helping at all, either.

I zoned out, looking into the skyline, daydreaming of this office actually being mine.

“Happy Thursday!” Joe popped his head in, unusually chirp.

“Morning, Joe.” I looked up at him, coming back to reality.

“You look good in here.” He walked in and manspreaded on one of the accent chairs across from my- I mean Rachel’s desk.

I sat up straight, “It’s nice having my own space.” I smiled.

“It is, isn’t it…” He smiled back. “How would you like to join in our meeting tomorrow? All our column writers will be there, except Rachel, of course. I think you’d fill that chair out nicely.”

“Oh, I’d love that!” I couldn’t hide my enthusiasm. I’ve wanted to sit in on one of those meetings for so long.

“Wonderful.” He stood up, clearing his throat and putting a hand on my desk. “Dress to impress. You wanna look the part. So, wear something nice.”

“Of course.” I nodded, as he walked out.

******

The next day, all I could think about was this meeting. I was thrilled to be able to be a part of something so big. I couldn’t wait to present all my ideas, and visions for the column. I spent hours the night before typing up a presentation, and looking for what to wear.

I dial Rachel on the way to work, hoping she’d have any advice for me. Luckily, she was just as ecstatic for me as I was.

“You’re gonna do great, girl! Just make sure you don’t speak over anybody, and smile at everyone, and just play nice. It’s a game, you know? You gotta make the right moves.” She suggested.

“Right, right. Ugh, I’m so nervous!”

“Don’t be. Oh! And, uh… What are you wearing right now?” Rachel asked.

“I’m wearing white slacks, a white blouse, and a beige blazer.”

“I was afraid you might say that.”

“Why!” I glanced at my outfit. “It’s cute!”

“The slacks. Maybe you should’ve gone with a nice, skirt… Okay, okay, how about your shirt? Is it low cut?Can you maybe lose the blazer?”

“Oh my god, Rachel! It’s a meeting, not a casting couch audition.”

She laughed, “Okay, okay. You’ll be fine, just make sure your hair looks good. It gives them something to fix their attention span on.”

I arrived at the office and passed the board room, peeking through the glass walls. Rachel was right. Every woman in there had tight pencil skirts or tight dresses on. Immediately, I feel underdressed… Or, I guess over dressed.

I walked into the bathroom, immediately taking off my blazer and undoing a couple of buttons on my satin, sleeveless blouse. I fixed my bra underneath, scooping my breasts up so they’d look good, and opened up my collar a bit. I turned, looking at myself from all angles, and letting my hair down. I tucked in my blouse to show off my waist, but decided to put the blazer back on.

I confidently walked out of the bathroom, into the board room and sat right next to Joe. His stare lingered as I prepped the PowerPoint on my laptop.

“Good morning.” He said. “I trust that you have everything ready for Rachel.”

“I do!” I smiled.

Everyone else settled into their seats, and shortly after the meeting began. It ran for about 45 minutes until it was finally my turn to present. Everyone’s visuals and ideas were so creative, not to mention the girl’s outfits were so eye-catching.

I look down at my phone, noticing Billie had left me about 15 text messages, which I couldn’t open until this was over.

I made my way up to the front, plugging in my computer and beaming my presentation to the huge smart screen. I started to cover the topics and titles for the next year, including small artists I’d be reaching out to for interviews. I noticed some of the corporate sharks talking amongst themselves, probably wondering who I was, and why Rachel wasn’t here.

I tried to ignore it, constantly making eye contact with Joe, who didn’t look any more interested than the rest did.

I thought about what Rachel said on our phone call, and decided to play their game. I knew I could be damn good at it too.

I slipped off my linen blazer, placing it on an empty chair near me. I resumed, noticing their attention shifting in the room.

I presented the idea to co-write with Rachel, as well as giving new, independent artists the opportunity to reach out to us, through their management, to be featured on our digital app. I really felt like I was holding their attention. Suddenly, they were intrigued in everything I said. It made me feel powerful.

“Are there any questions?” I asked, as I wrapped up.

“Sure, I have one.” A man, around 30, lifted his hand like a child in elementary school. “Will the budget need to increase?”

“Great question. There’s actually no need to up the budget, just yet.” I answered, knowing it was thankfully exactly what they wanted to hear.

He nodded, “And one more question. What’s your tattoo say?” He pointed at my arm.

I extended my arm and pointed at my right bicep. “Those are song lyrics to my favorite song.”

It felt weird showing my tattoos at work. I usually wore a light sweater or blazer on top, or a long sleeve blouse. Wearing a skirt would be interesting, given the fact that I have multiple thigh tattoos.

He let out a small laugh, his co-workers shaking their heads, but staring at me with the same eyes as him.

Eventually after answering enough questions, Joe took the floor and continued the meeting. After it was over, we enjoyed the catering and chatted for a while. I gravitated towards the writers in charge of art and film columns, taking in the conversations and feeling like a part of this high status team that I wished so badly to be in.

******

At the end of the day, Joe stopped by my- I mean Rachel’s office, for a quick debriefing.

“You must really like this office.” He said, shutting the door behind him.

“I do.” I shut my laptop, packing up my things to take back to the cubicle. Rachel would be returning to work Monday morning, so I knew I had to clear out before leaving today. “All good things come to an end, I guess. Thanks for including me in the meeting today. I learned a lot.”

“If you keep up this great work up, you might just earn your keep and have an office like this one.” He said, his voice low and persuasive.

“They say anything about me being a co-author?”

“They’ve asked to see more from you. Can you have an outline of this new digital article idea you have by this weekend?”

“I already do.” I nodded, unable to hold back a smile.

“Play your cards right and you might just get exactly what you want.” He smirked. “I’ve made reservations at Nobu for next Tuesday at 4pm.”

“Wait, Tuesday the 10th? I can’t, I have a commitment-“

“I wouldn’t disappoint them if I were you.”

“But, I told you, I have plans already that I can’t back out of. You can’t move the meeting to lunch time?”

“If you want to turn down your chance for these executives to have their eyes on nothing else but you, be my guest.” He began to walk out.

“No! No. I’ll be there.” I panicked.

“Good. Because they have their eye on you. That’s not something you want to pass up around here.” He said before opening my door and leaving.

I sighed, packing up my things and leaving. I could crumple up and die thinking about having to tell Billie I wouldn’t make it on Sunday. I promised her I would. There was just no way I could miss this dinner.

I hoped she would understand as I talked myself into FaceTiming her and breaking the news. I sunk lower into my seat as the line rang no longer than 2 times.

“Remy!” She sounded so excited when she answered. God, I’d hate to kill that.

“Hey, Billie, are you busy right now?” I hesitated.

“No, no, actually I was gonna call you! We share the same brain cells, I’m telling you.” She chuckled.

“Yeah.” I laughed.

“I can’t wait to see you, Rem. I miss you! Are you ready for San Jose?” She smiled big.

“Actually-“

“Cause I wanted to see if you wanna join me on stage? You can jam out with Ava and Jane, or do the barricade run with me? Maybe we can do Guess together? You can do Charlie’s part!”

Her ideas came out as one big run-on sentence. She looked so happy as she paced the tour bus and rambled on, moving her hands. I didn’t want to ruin it. I couldn’t bring myself to let her down again.

“I’d love that, it’s just-“

“Please! For me… don’t be shy.” She pleaded. She worked those eyes on me enough to convince me to say yes.

“Okay, I will.” I smiled at her

For the rest of the FaceTime call, I tried my best to act like I wasn’t figuring out how I’d make it to Nobu with Joe, and San Jose with Billie in one night.

[princessofgotham777]

Dating Jason Todd (Part Three)

fanfic type: angst, fluff, comfort (ongoing)

If you liked the Titans show but wish they handled Jason’s story line differently you might like this fic!

Hey so this is in fact my first time writing fanfiction (idk what my life has come to). Sorry if it’s cringy but also I would eat this up cause I LOVE some good angsty comfort fanfiction. I won’t write smut. I don’t think I’m gonna do requests but if you have any ideas feel free to let me know. Also of course I don’t own any DC characters this is purely fanfiction. Although I’ve had tumblr for a bit I’m not really used to posting stuff so sorry if I don’t format everything well. Thank you and I hope you enjoy. (I hope you like run-on sentences💀) (if you don’t like it don’t be rude just move on dude😃🧍‍♀️)

So story line, this doesn’t really take place in any specific universe but I’m gonna be pulling concepts from Titans, The Batman, Under the Red Hood, and whatever lore I remember from the CW shows cause I grew up watching those, then just my imagination of course. The beginning takes place when Jason is still Robin but he’s no longer apart of the titans. Reader is referred to as she/her btw.

Warnings: talking about death, suicide, depression, torture (it’s not graphic I hate gore it’s just sad)

Part Three: The Past

You, Kori, Gar and Rachel sat in titans tower in anticipation of Dick’s phone call. Roy had found the tracker in Jason’s wallet now you all were wondering if you’d found Jason or just his wallet.

“I just don’t understand why he didn’t wait for Dick and go about the plan as we all discussed and agreed to,” Kori says.

“He just wants to prove himself,” Gar says.

“He acts too good for Dick and too good for us, he acts unappreciative of everything Dick and Bruce have done for him,” Kori says.

“Hey!” You say. “He’s appreciative of them believe me, he’s always going on about how Robin was the best thing that ever happened to him. I love you Kori but don’t act like you know him,” you say.

“Okay, I think we’re all just a bit on edge,” Rachel starts to say when your phone rings. It’s Dick.

“You’re on speaker, did you find him,” you say.

“No and take me off speaker,” he says. Gar, Rachel and Kori all exchange confused looks. You take the phone off speaker and walk over to the kitchen.

“What the fucks going on Dick?” You ask.

“We found another note, Jokers kidnapped Jason. I’ll send you the note everyone at GCPD has been staring at it for the last two hours completely clueless though,” he says.

“Two hours?” You say. “Why didn’t you call me sooner?” You ask.

Dick sighs, “I wanted to see if we could solve it first,” he says.

“Right so you did exactly what I told you not to,” you say. “I’m going to Gotham clearly I need to be there in person.”

“Y/N you cannot come here it’s not a matter of if we need your help it’s a matter of safety Joker has Jason and so your next…he’s betting on you coming to try to rescue him,” Dick says.

“I can’t trust you,” you say.

“Fine I’ll ask Kori to come to Gotham, keep me accountable,” he says.

“Ask her and Rachel to go, I trust Rachel. Gar and I will stay at the tower,” you say.

“You don’t trust Kori?” He asks.

“Rachel is my best friend,” you answer.

“Right, put them on,” he says. You hurry back over to the three of them and put the phone on speaker. “Would you guys be okay with Kori and Rachel coming to Gotham and Gar and Y/N staying at the tower?” He asks.

“Sounds fine,” Kori says.

“Is Rachel going too a good idea?” Gar asks.

You give Rachel a look that lets her know you’ll fill her in later and so she says, “I’ll go.”

Rachel and you are sitting in her room when she finally says something. “I’m happy to help but you need to fill me in on a couple of things first,” Rachel says.

“Completely understandable,” you say.

“So why do you want me to go to Gotham?” She asks.

“Dick broke a promise…and I’m don’t think Kori will hold him accountable so I just want you to be there to keep me updated since I can’t be there myself and I trust you,” you say. “I know Dick saved you and you two have a strong trust but I also know you won’t keep anything from me,” you say.

“You don’t trust Kori?” She asks.

“I trust Kori how I trust everyone else on the team, but you’re my best friend,” you say.

“Okay second thing why’d Dick have you take the phone off speaker, that was weird,” she says.

“I don’t know honestly,” you lied. You knew exactly why. You and Dick had a past and the way you talked to each other was passive aggressive and overly demanding. You two didn’t want questions on why you guys always seemed to be so angry or emotional with each other so you put on an act in front of other people. Jason knew all he wanted to know about it. “He just told me they found another note, which he didn’t tell me about until two hours later that’s why I don’t want him to be my main source of information.”

“One more thing…I know you and I don’t really talk about guys,” she says laughing nervously. “But you and Jason like is your worrying like when you can’t find your favorite shirt or like-“

You cut her off and say, “No, it’s like if you cut off your finger and then you can’t find it and you only have ten minutes to sew it back on before you lose it forever,” you say frantically.

“Right, so I’ll go to Gotham Y/N, and I’ll help however I can,” she says. “This is stupid but,” she extends her pinky. “Pinky promise,”

“It’s not stupid,” you say taking her pinky with yours.

Rachel and Kori leave for Gotham leaving you and Gar the last two in the tower, the last two in the place you once called home. Later that night you and Gar sit by the floor to ceiling window eating pizza and drinking lemonade, looking out at the city.

“Do you and Jason ever talk about coming back and rejoining titans?” He asks.

“Sometimes,” you say. “We talk about it but then we remember how everything went down in the end and we snap out of it pretty quick.”

“None of them still really know what really happened,” Gar says.

“What do you mean? They think he did the stuff Rose did with the crosses and orange soda and shit?” You ask.

“No no, they know he didn’t do that, they just don’t understand why he left,” Gar says.

“First of all who’s us, us as in me, you, Dick, Kori and Rachel or us all plus Donna, Dawn and Hank?”

“The second one,” he says.

“He left because they didn’t believe him. Everyone was so quick to just believe it was him who did all that shit even after he said he didn’t. I know he can be an asshole sometimes to all of you but the truth is Dick acts the same way and no one ever gives him shit,” you say.

“You do.” Gar says.

“Huh?”

“You hold Dick accountable, you’re not afraid to call him out when he’s being an asshole,” Gar says.

“Yeah well Dick and Jason are more alike than people acknowledge. More alike than they themselves care to acknowledge,” you say.

“I forget you’ve known them both for so long,” Gar says.

“Yeah,” you say getting off the floor. “Hey I think I’m gonna try to get some sleep wake me up if you hear anything and I’ll do the same okay?”

“Sounds good,” he says.

I hope you enjoyed reading, like if you want another part I’ve got plenty of ideas and am lowkey having fun writing this so I hope people are having fun reading it🩷

Here’s my Masterlist so you can read the other parts

Masterlist

[raya-hunter01]

Lights, Camera, Action! Pt. 6

Jey Uso x Black Female OC! (Shantell)

Roman x Black Female OC! Tangela

Solo x Black Female OC! Sofia

Jimmy x Trin

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut; oral, sex, spanking

Words:

Summary: How do you keep it together as Smackdown’s production director and navigate your life as the girlfriend of Mr. Main Event Jey Uso.  Follow Shantell as she navigates her life as a girlfriend, sister, and confidant to the bloodline. Follow her on her journey to self-discovery of love and happiness.

.............

OBGYN' Office, Pensacola, FL

Shantell’s POV

“Let’s see how everything is going,” Dr. Borden says preparing for the ultrasound. I take deep breaths as I feel my nerves getting the best of me. Dr. Borden is moving the wand on my stomach trying to find the baby and I’m nervous.

I hate hospitals and doctor offices with a passion. I still can’t believe I’m pregnant and I think that’s why I haven’t told Jey.  I didn’t want to get his hopes up, how would he respond to the news especially after the Taraji bomb the other night.

My thoughts are all over the place and I feel like the ball could drop at any moment. Could I have a healthy pregnancy, and carry this baby to term? Truthfully, I’m scared to death, and I can’t help but think of Jey. He looked so angry and broken this morning when we all left the bus shop.

I think he was going to confront Taraji; I just hope he doesn’t do something stupid. “There is your baby,” I hear Doctor Borden say, turning the screen towards me. My eyes filled with tears as I see what I could only describe as a tiny peanut staring back at me.

“Is everything ok?” I asked, wiping my tears that had fallen. “Well, you tell me Shantell,” he says turning the sound up on the machine as I heard my baby’s heartbeat for the first time. “Oh my god,” I finally exhaled as I felt a weight lifted off of me, my baby was ok.

“Everything is good, strong heartbeat and you’re about five weeks along,” Dr. Borden says printing me out a couple of pictures. “Is everything else ok, from my surgery,” I ask nervously.  “You are going to need to avoid stress, but that is all women who are expecting. “So, what’s the plan, to ensure everything goes well,” I ask.

“Well, it is important you take care of yourself; this is a high-risk pregnancy with your medical history. I want to do frequent appointments to keep an eye on you and the baby,” he says smiling as I nod looking at him. “I got ya, no stress and take it easy,” I say feeling better knowing my doctor had a plan to make sure the baby and I were ok.

-------------

Taraji’s Apartment

Jey’s POV

I’m so fuckin’ mad I can’t see straight but I gotta do this now. I need to know why, knocking on her door I could hear voices but no answer. So, I used the spare key under the carpet.

As I came in, I heard Taraji getting an earful from an emotional Rachel in the living room, so I ducked behind the front door listening. “The jig is up! Sofia went to my boss and I’m under investigation, Jey knows everything!” I hear Rachel shout hysterically.

Taraji’s POV

“What you mean he knows?” I whisper as I feel my throat closing in.

“He knows you weren’t pregnant, and now I’m in your shit,” Rachel says pacing. “Look, we will be ok. I can get us out of this,” I say trying to think.

“This got so screwed up, all he had to do was marry me when I told him I was pregnant,” I spat angrily as Rachel looked at me in horror.  “There was no baby! What was your plan? He would marry you and then what, a baby would magically appear?" she questions as I shake my head no.

“The miscarriage was always a part of the plan; I was going to tell him I lost it. By then we would have been married. So, we could have tried for a baby,” I say trying to get her to understand. “So, you were so desperate to have this man and his money you did all this. I dropped my head in shame unable to say anything.

 “Well, thank you because now I’m on my way to a meeting to find out if I still have a job to support my two kids,” she said looking at me defeated. “I’m sorry Rachel,” I sigh as she grabs her purse heading towards the door “Just stay away from me Taraji,” she says storming out of my apartment.  I took a deep breath trying to pace myself, “I thought I had closed that when Rachel first came by, why was it open anyway,” I mumble as I closed the door.

Behind me I heard keys jingling and my blood ran cold. It can't be, I turned and was met with the stone-cold eyes of Jey. “No,” I whispered in shock as I didn’t expect him to even be back in town yet. “Just me and you Taraji,” he says, his voice void of feeling, his hard stare scaring me.

Jey’s POV

“I’m so sorry Jey,” Taraji cried, collapsing against me, trying to hug me as I pry her away. “You have no idea how much I hate yo ass,” I say deathly calm, looking at her guilty crying ass made me angrier.

"I love you, Jey! Please believe me," she cried as I saw red “You have messed up my life……. Bad,” I say rubbing my hands across my face trying to calm down. 

“We could be so happy; please, just forgive me, “Taraji continued to beg as I swear for the first time in my life, I wanted to kill somebody. “You really played me, you was cheatin’ when we was together. Fuckin’ anybody for a come up and I still gave yo ass the benefit of the doubt,” I yelled.

“I changed! Jey, people can change!” she cried as I ignored the lame ass attempt of trying to flip the script, mascara running down her face from her tears. “You just faked being pregnant!! You invented a baby! A baby, the one thing you knew I always wanted,” I groaned in pain trying to grasp how out of touch she was with all she has done.

 “I can’t believe how stupid I was. I lost the only person I ever loved, trying to be there for you and a baby that didn't exist!” I hissed at her in disgust as I see the wheels turning in her head, trying to think of what to say.

“Everything ok in here?” Jimmy asked, walking in looking at me with worry.

“Yea, we good, I just wanted to let Taraji know that Paul knows everything and wishes to meet with her on Friday before the show,” I said looking at Taraji taking in her scared expression.

“Jey, we gotta talk this out,” she cries trying to hold my hand as I snatch away, walking towards my brother. “You stay away from my family, especially Shan,” I say dropping her keys on the table.

“It’s always about her! Little Ms. Perfect!” Taraji screams as I nod in agreement with her. “Yea, it will always be about her,” I say not ashamed to admit to myself or Taraji. “She’ll never have you again after all you’ve done, and I can’t wait to see you miserable.” Taraji says smugly as I clinch my fists.

“Well, from what I heard, you won’t have to worry about seeing if Shan takes me back or if I’m miserable,” I say smugly as I know I’m about to take her ass down a peg. “Why is that?” Taraji taunts as I grin at her.” Because you may not be employed for very much longer, WWE takes these things seriously, and they are within their rights to fire yo ass. So, if I was you, I would walk a real thin ass line and stay the fuck away from my family,” I say as jimmy puts his hand on my shoulder.

Let’s go Uce, you said what you had to say,” Jimmy says trying to keep me calm.

“Yea, let’s roll,” I said walking away from her as I see I had two missed two calls from Shantell and a voicemail. “What could she want?” I mumble putting in my code to check the message. “Hey, this is Shan, we need to talk it’s very important so when you get time stop by my house. Talk to you later.”

"Who was it, Uce? "Jimmy asked as we made our way back to the car. “It was Shantell wanting to talk, it sounded important,” I say a little worried. “Good, I think it’s time ya’ll talked and get this shit straight,” Jimmy says not sugarcoating the issue.

“I know she ain’t just gon' fall back into my arms, I fucked up bad,” I say knowing I’m deserving of the cold shoulder I’ve been getting from her. “Then start from scratch as friends and work yo way back to your woman man, “Jimmy said shooting me an encouraging glance.

Maybe we could find our way back, I knew I loved her but this hothead temper of mine has got me in some shit that it’s gon’ take awhile to get out of.

-------------------------------

Shan’s House

Shantell’s POV

It feels good to be home, I loved staying with Solo and Sofia but it’s nothing like your own house. I called Jey early this morning inviting him over to talk and I still haven’t heard a peep. Working, I faintly heard someone knocking on my door. Reaching over to look at my phone it was almost midnight.

Time had gotten away from me as I was working on a video package for Jey’s rematch against Joe. They were doing this Tribal Combat angle.  “I know damn well this ain’t his ass, this late at night, I" mutter as I got up and headed toward the door. Looking out the side window I saw his car.

“What do you want Jey?” I ask through the door, not really in the mood for any drama. "I need to talk to you, plus you told me to stop by,” he says standing back from the door. Unlocking it, I stepped outside to meet him. “Oh, I can’t come in,” he says with a small smile.  “Ain’t shit open after midnight but legs, the ER, and Waffle House. I asked yo ass to come by earlier, so nope,"” I said smartly as he laughed at me.

“Walk wit me then” he says grasping my hand. “Let me get my keys and my blanket its cold,” I say stepping back inside as he looked over my shoulder trying to look around my house “You sure Montez ain’t in there, right?” he asks with a frown. “Well, if he was, it would be my business.” I say rolling my eyes at him.

“I’m kidding, I know I’m the only one,” he says proudly as I shake my head at him. “If you can’t get your shit together, you won’t be the only one for long,” I say as his smile drops seeing the seriousness in my face. We walked down to the beach and just enjoyed listening to the waves for bit before finally sitting down on the sand to talk.

“Shan I’m really sorry about calling you damaged, I didn’t mean it, I was just grieving, looking for someone to blame.” I said feeling ashamed, I wanted to hurt her because I was hurting. “You really hurt me, and it took me back to a place I didn’t want to be. You knew that would hurt me;” I said wiping my tears.  

“I meant what I said that night, your everything and any man would be lucky to have you,” he says pulling me close as I lay my head on his shoulder. "I can't believe you remember that?" I whispered as I closed my eyes, it felt so good to be back in his arms again. "I remember everything about you, since the first day I met you," he said playing with my fingers. My mind was screaming tell him, but I feared how he would react.

Jey’s POV

 “I had told my ma, I was leaving Taraji to be with you that night at our family dinner,” I said just wanting to lay it all out on the table.  Shan looked at me before glancing out at the gulf. “Well, I’m sorry you had to argue with your mom,” she said rubbing my arm. “You were worth it,” I assured her, as her unsure smile made me want to kick my own ass as I reached over and kissed her on the cheek.

 “So, what did you need to talk about?” I asked, wanting to know as I could see she seemed worried. “We can talk about it later,” she says quickly wiping her tears looking at me. “Just tell me baby, I got you, “I say grasping her hand placing a kiss on it.

Shantell’s POV

I took our joined hands and placed them on my stomach “Josh, I’m pregnant,” I whispered trying to not to scare him.  The silence is scaring me as I can’t see his face. “Josh, did you hear what I said?” I asked a little louder, and still nothing. Ok, that’s my cue to go. I tried to move but his grip on me tightened as he finally looks at me.

“You havin’ my baby?” he asked smiling, as I saw tears welling in his eyes. "Yea, you knocked me up,” I joke as he laughs, gently kissing me “Thank you,” he said putting his hand back on my stomach as a few tears escaped his eyes, "You don't have to thank me," I said wiping his tears as kissed my stomach “Baby, it’s yo daddy. By the time you get here daddy gon’ have it right, I promise,” he says pulling me closer as I ran my fingers through his hair trying not to cry as he's talking to our baby.

I felt better having told him so he could share in this experience, but we have a long road ahead before we were Josh and Shantell again.

----------------------------------------------

Smackdown Before the Show

Bloodline Dressing room

“I hope they transfer her ass,” Tangela says walking around the room pacing. “I don’t want anybody to lose they job, but I wish she would leave Shan and Jey alone,” Trin said as I came out dressed for the show. “Aww, I can’t wait for you to start showing,” Tamina said rubbing my stomach.

“Girl, I gotta be able to hold my food down first,” I laugh as I gather my notes. “What has Mr. Real Chief been doing to get in your good graces,” Tangela asks as I shake my head at her poor attempt to get some tea.

“It's almost like when we first started dating, he’s been staying the night,” I say shrinking back at the stare from Trin. “Bitch, I know you ain’t been holdin' out on me," she says frowning at me. “Trin, we may make small talk, he talks to the baby, watches tv and sleep, “I say trying to get my point across.

“Basically, taking it slow before rushing into anything and it makes sense, Tangela says agreeing with me. “He understands he hurt me, and it’s going to take awhile. That’s all I can guarantee at this point,” I say putting my shoes on heading towards the door to getting ready to go to Gorilla.

“I need to find Joe, so I’ll walk with you,” Tangela says as I smile totally glad for the company.  Enroute to Gorilla I had to use the restroom, so I ducked into the ladies' room as Tangela went to find Joe. Stopping dead in my tracks I see Taraji at the sink crying. Fuck, this is all I need right now as she turns to look at me.

“You happy, this is all your fault! I’m suspended, and they are transferring me back to raw!” she shouts as I take a deep breath not wanting to argue with her. “Taraji, I didn’t make you do what you did,” I say trying to remain calm.

“I just fuckin' hate yo ass,” Taraji says walking in my face, as in this moment I know she’s confrontational and I got to protect myself and my baby. “Look, what do you want!” I yell tired of the bullshit. “I WANT JEY!” She hysterically screams at me; this bitch is crazy. “I worked for him, so I should have him,” Taraji says continuing to rant.

“Taraji, yo ass better go find yourself something safe to do, like playin’ in traffic,” I say smartly. “What you gon’ do? I been waiting on you Shantell,” she taunts as she mushed my head back. See, I am trying Lord, but she just keeps on pushin’ me.

“Look, chill and gon’ on Taraji,” I warn as she smiles before slapping me, as I feel the blood coming from my mouth. I subconsciously rub my stomach, Baby, mama is so sorry, but I gotta clean this ho up right quick. Before she could swing again, I punched her in the face as she fell in a heap on the floor. “I don’t do that slappin’ shit,” I hissed as she was holding her eye. “You bitch,” she muttered still nursing her eye.

“You still in here Shantell?” I hear Tangela asking walking into the restroom taking in the scene before her. “What the hell goin on?" she asks seeing Taraji getting up. “Just a misunderstanding,” I say trying to squash the issue. “Nah, I ain’t buying that shit, look at your lip.  She still fuckin’ wit you? Tangela asked now eying Taraji. "I’m good, just leave it, sis,” I plead just wanting to leave.

“Now, you work here, Trin, and Tamina do too but I don’t,” Tangela warns as Taraji charged at her swinging, before I knew it Tangela had caught her by the hair and started punching on Taraji fast as hell. All I saw and heard was fists tagging Taraji, alternating between her head and face, "Let me go, ho!" Taraji screams, now not fighting but trying to get Tangela off her hair.

Tangela continued to drag her ass around the bathroom “You one stupid bitch! open the door, Shantell!” Tangela screams as I jumped scurrying to the door. “Let me go!" Taraji yells struggling to keep her footing as Tangela is draggin’ her down the hall as people are looking at us. "Get yo ass outta this building!," Tangela yelled yanking Taraji's hair harder.

What the hell ya’ll doin’!?” Jimmy shouts running over to us with Paul prying Tangela away from Taraji. “What the hell is going on?” Paul shouts as Tangela tries to go back at her. “She attacked Shantell in the bathroom! I thought she was suppose to be gone, Paul!” Tangela yells as Paul jumped on the defense. “She was suppose to be! You three in my office now!” He shouts as Tangela rolls her eyes.

“Paul, I don’t work for yo’ ass so I suggest you ask me nicer than that,” Tangela snaps as I put my hand on her shoulder.” Please Tangela, let’s go,” I beg as I see Taraji walking to his office in front of us. "Tangela, we are going to get it worked out," Paul said calmly walking with us. "You better, cause ain't nobody got time to be harassed at their job by idiots," she says calming down.

“Jimmy go get Jey and Joe, meet me in my office,” Paul says following us inside.

This feels like the fuckin principal office, Tangela and I on one side, and Taraji on the other. This is not how I wanted the night to go. I just wanted to work and enjoy my night.

“What happened ya’ll?” Joe asked coming in looking at us with Jey and Jimmy behind him. “She attacked Shan and tried to charge me, so I dragged dat ass, that’s all,” Tangela says casually not caring how it looked or sounded.  I looked over and I could see Jey steaming but not moving from beside Joe. “Taraji, what do you have to say?” Paul asks as she sighs in a defeated tone. “I was in the bathroom; Shan came in and I was just so angry. After some words I slapped her,” Taraji says quietly.

“You what!” Jey shouts angrily finally seeing the blood on the side of my mouth. “Then I punched her in the face,” I said honestly as Jey groaned coming over to me touching my face trying to see if there was any more damage.

“Shantell, you can’t be doing that,” he started as I looked at him giving him a signal to stop talking. I knew he was about to say I was pregnant and honestly, I didn’t want this bitch to know that.

“Taraji, security will escort you out of the building,” Paul says as I see Tangela getting annoyed. “That’s what you should have did personally after the meeting, and we wouldn’t be here now,” she says matter of fact.

“Tangela, baby chill,” Joe said kneeling in front of her trying to take her attention off of Taraji.

“Now I’ve really got to reconsider this whole job thing, you can’t be attacking people, you will be working in the Stamford office.  You are off the road completely until further notice,” Paul informs her as out the corner of my eye I see her nod in understanding as she stands up and walks out with security.

“Now Shantell you know that was dangerous with your condition,” Paul says scolding me. “What did ya’ll want me to do? Just stand there and let her continue to assault me. She could have hurt me or the baby,” I say rambling as Joe looked at me smiling.  “Your pregnant?” he asked, turning giving Tangela a knowing smile. “So, that’s why you were in guard dog mode, huh,” he says kissing her.

Guard dog, shiiid! You saw all dem' knots on that girl forehead. She was draggin’ that girl down that hall like Godzilla with Shan walking behind her,” Jimmy says snickering. “It was definitely a sight to see, has your wife thought about training Joe," Paul says shaking his head cracking a smile.

"How about no," Joe says laughing as Tangela hits his shoulder smiling.  “Alright can we get back to work now,” I ask just tired, and wanting to work. “Yes, Ms. busy body, you can go to work, and be careful” Paul said as I got up, thanking Tangela again before I left with Jey following behind me.

“Hey… Slow down, ma,” he says gently pulling me to him placing his hand on my stomach. “We’re ok,” I say reassuring him as he kisses my neck. “I’m sorry you having to deal wit this cause of my ass,” he whispers as I lean back in his arms. “I know,” I responded taking a couple deep breaths.

I hope this is going to get better because all this stress is making me want to go hide under a rock and we still got Joe’s family cookout coming up.  Just thinking about my mom and Jey’s in the same house is making me ill.

------------

Smackdown

Camera nine I’m glad you had eyes on Jey that was good shit! Let’s take it home! Hard camera pace you out with camera three on Roman. "Let’s go to work Stu!" I shout in my headset. “You love this chaos. Shan, what are you going to do when you out on maternity leave?" He asked laughing. “I’m gon' fucking cry,” I said laughing. You could feel the intensity in the ring between the cousins as Roman and Jey walked to the front of the table.

“Hard camera it’s coming back to you,” I said into my headset. Let’s get this money shot, Jey and Roman embraced and took a deep breath together, their heads touching. I remember Jey telling me about this and how important it was to their culture.  It was amazing to see.

Hey, beautiful,” Montez says sitting beside me. “Hey, give me a second,” I say as I’m watching the monitors. Cameras five and seven pace between Roman and Jey please to end the show. It should be some good expressions coming, and they didn’t disappoint. We’re out in 5,4,3,2,1. Great show crew!" Thank God, we made it, tonight has been a tiresome night.

"You know you sexy doin’ that right," Montez says as I laugh. "Well, thank you, I guess," I say closing down my monitors. "Here let me help you," Montez says standing up, leaning over me to lift a monitor. "Everything good over here Shan," Joe says coming up with Solo who was looking like he wanted to lay waste to Montez.

"Yea, I’m good Montez was helping me with the monitors, so I didn’t have to lift it," I say as Joe nods stepping in to help along with solo as well.

"So, I was wondering would you like to go out to grab a bite to eat tonight?" Montez says not caring that Joe and Solo was right there. "I don’t think so, it’s been a busy hectic day and I’m not into dating right now,” I said making sure everything was good in the cases.

“Well, maybe next time, I’ll see you later then,” he says leaning over giving me a kiss on the cheek and walked away before I could respond. Joe and Solo were staring Montez down as he walked by them not caring. “What was that?” Joe asked as I shrugged my shoulders. “Your answer is as good as mine, I have no clue," I said honestly. Unbeknownst to me Jey had seen the whole interaction and was not happy.

-------------

Shantell’s Hotel Room

Shantell’s POV

"So, you're not talking to me because of something I didn't ask to happen?" He just did it," I said getting a little irritated with Jey as I walked out of the bathroom in one of his old shirts.

"He been around a lil too much, I mean is you fuckin' him," Jey says looking at me with an anxious look on his face.

"I’m not fucking him!" I shout as Jey is pacing around the room just speaking nonsense.  “You doin’ something! A mothafucka felt bold enough to come sit wit you alone, and kiss all over yo ass,” he says rubbing his hands over his face.

“You are so insecure, and we aren’t even together!” I spat angrily. I can't believe that he would even think I would do that.

“I ain’t insecure, I just don’t want him hanging all over you because I know what he wants, and he can’t have it!” Jey shouts as my eyes widen in shock. “Jey, I’m a grown ass woman, you can't be telling people not to talk to me! I can do what I want, when I want! We aren't together!" I shout equally as frustrated as him.

Don’t you know, I know you miss me,” he says inching his lips closer to mine and even though I do miss him, this is about a power struggle right now that he's determined to win.” I don’t know what you are talking about,” I say fighting the urge to kiss him senseless. I wanted him bad; he snatched his shirt off my body and pulled his sweats off.

“What makes you think, I’m going to sleep with you,” I ask, biting my lip staring at him, growling he pulled against his rock-hard body. I gasp at the feeling of him against me, knowing I'm powerless to stop it.

“Baby this is me, I know every inch of you,” Jey says starting to place kisses on my lips then moving to my neck as I’m fighting an internal battle to remain quiet. “I know what you need,” he says never missing a beat with his tongue as it slides along the curve of my neck. I wanted him and he knew it, these hormones ain’t playing.

 “Baby just let go, "he groans against my ear as I feel myself losing the battle. I finally gave in as I took him in a heated kiss. As the minutes passed, the more desperate out kisses became as our tongues met in a dance where I couldn’t tell where I began, and he ended.  Taking control, I pushed him up against the door “You want me to feel I, ask as I felt him shiver against me in anticipation.

“You want me to let go,” I whisper into his ear before snaking my tongue out and around his ear lobe. Hearing the growl in his throat I knew I had him as I trailed kisses back to his lips but not before making one simple statement. “You want me to feel, then make me,” I said attacking his lips with mine.

" Shit, I can’t wait, I’ll make it up to you, I Promise,” Jey moans against my lips entering me "Oh!" I gasped, pulling his closer. “Daddy’s home baby,” he whispers against my ear beginning to thrust inside me slowly, “Mmhm!" I whimper against him no longer able to deny he had my heart and soul.

" Welcome home, baby” I moaned as he started thrusting harder and faster. It was true, us together was indeed home, without missing a beat Jey reversed us with me now on top. “Ride Daddy, baby,” he moaned as I placed my weight on my heels and started bouncing slow and hard. “Shit, just like dat, ride yo dick,” he encourages as I continued riding him harder.

“I plan too,” I moaned as I started to speed up my movements but every so often slowing down twirling my hips in a circular motion. “You think I’m fuckin’ him?” I asked, gasping as Jey thrusted upward harder inside me. "Don’t play with me, Shan! Fuck!," he shouts as I clinch my muscles around his dick as I ran my nails down his chest. "Don’t you play wit me; Josh," I say continuing my sensual torture.

Jey’s POV

“Damn, you feel so good,” I moaned as cupped her breasts almost painfully squeezing them as she rode my dick. “You didn’t answer me,” She pants never breaking her rhythm.  “Do you think I’m fuckin' him? Tell me," she groaned speeding up as I finally snapped.  “Fuck, no! This my pussy," I growled sitting up taking her in a possessive kiss, carrying her from the bed, bracing her up against the wall thrusting deep inside her.

"Josh! Wait baby," I hear her whimper against my lips as I feel her legs trembling around my waist. Nah, you bout to squirt all on this dick, u hear me?" I declare, claiming her lips in a desperate kiss as her moans are bringing the possessive side of me.

I felt myself going deeper and deeper as I couldn’t get enough of her. “He can’t have you, say it,” I groaned losing control as each second passed. “He can't have me," Shan cried as I came undone thrusting away inside her hard and strong, with each thrust her head was lightly hitting the wall.

Her pussy gripping me tighter and tighter as I pulled her close. Her nails diggin' in my neck as I attacked hers as we clawed at each other trying to get as close as we could.

“I’m about to cum,” Shan moans as I reach down between us and began playing with her clit. “Who you cumin’ for, me or him?” I groaned as I began thrusting even harder inside her. “Who is it for baby?” I moaned looking down at my dick moving in and out of her pussy. “I know I’m bout to cum, and it’s all for you,” I confessed, taking her whimpers in my mouth as I kissed her with wild abandon.

“Who are you cumin’ for!? “I groaned as she squirted on my dick as I was cumin’ inside her. "You! I’m cumin for you, Josh!" She screamed as she rode her orgasm holding on me tight.

“Don’t you forget that shit either,” I say kissing her shoulder. I was insecure and I knew it, but I knew what Montez’s intentions were and I’m not giving Shantell up.

--------

Carnival Confessions

Jey’s POV

Shit! I’m running behind, I had to do a couple interviews today, so everybody was already at the carnival. It was a good idea for the girls to unwind after all the drama last night at the show. After searching I finally found Trin and Shan ordering some food.

I know this lame ass dude ain’t here, I see Montez approaching them and I see red. He just won’t take the hint; he knows Shantell is pregnant with my baby and he still sniffing round like a dog in heat. Nah, bruh that’s my woman even if she doesn’t realize it yet.

Shantell’s POV

"Hey, it’s funny running into you here since you can’t ride anything," Montez says smiling.

“I’m here for the food, and the games,” I laugh as he gives me a hug. “Well, can I walk with ya’ll?” he asks as Trin smiles. "Sure, come on Montez, the more the merrier,” she says as we continue to walk and explore the carnival. “Where is Jey he should be here by now,” I mutter looking around for him. I faintly hear Jimmy and Trin arguing over Montez joining us.

“Where the hell he come from?” Jimmy hisses at Trin as she smiles at him. “He has a crush on Shan, plus Jey and her ain’t together. So why my girl can’t explore a little?” Trin asked taunting Jimmy. “Because my brother gon’ figure his shit out, he gon’ make it right. He just needs a chance Trin,” he says looking at Montez.

“Nah, I think he needs to know Shantell has options, to get his ass in gear," Trin responds staring at Montez stealing a piece of Shantell’s funnel cake.  “Can I talk to you, Shan?” Montez asks as Trin and Jimmy showed their armbands to the attendant and got on the Ferris wheel. “Um, sure what’s up?” I asked feeling a little uneasy.

Jey’s POV

This mothafucka really tryin' it. I know I shouldn’t be sneaking around watching them but in need to know what I’m dealing with. I can’t help but move further, trying to see and hear what he’s sayin’ to Shan as he led her to a picnic table.

“I really like you Shan," Montez said grabbing Shantell’s hand, before she could respond he placed his finger on her lips. “Let me finish before I lose my nerve,” he stutters as she smiled at him. What the fuck is going on, I know Shantell ain’t entertaining this shit. 

“I know about the baby and how complicated things are with Jey,” he says as she looked down. “I want you to know that you have options, and I love chillin’ wit you,” he says touching her face making her look at him. “I like hanging out with you too, we're friends” Shan responded smiling, and I felt sick as fuck.  “I would like to take you out,” Montez said pushing her hair behind her ear. "We can even go as friends,” he adds after seeing Shantell’s shocked face at his suggestion. See I can’t take this shit no more, I’m bout the kill his ass.

“Aye, Shan ain’t interested Tez,” I say walking over to them not being able to take it anymore. “What's up Jey?” he asks standing up as Shan looks at me with a worried expression. “What's up my ass, you trying to put the moves on my woman,” I say in his face as he folds his arms across his chest.

 “Well, the last I knew ya’ll were just friends, after all the shit you did who could blame Shantell," Montez said with a neutral look on his face. "What the fuck you know about it," I hiss as I see Shantell standing up approaching us.  “You was reckless wit her, and that can be another man’s gain,” Montez says smiling at me.  

“You mothafucka,” I snarl wanting to rip his head off. “Yea, I’ll be dat, the mothafucka, gladly to be wit Shantell,” Montez taunted as I got in his face. “Hey! We in public and I ain’t wit nobody! Shantell quietly shouts trying to not bring attention to us. “The only thing I care about is my child, fuck all this other bullshit! Continue the pissin' contest without me,” she says storming off. “Stay the fuck away from Shantell!”  I warned as I went to follow her.

Shantell’s POV

“Can you take me back to the hotel Solo,” I asked having found him by the restrooms. “Yea, I’m tired myself, it’s hot and I need to call Sofia,” he says looking at me worried. “What’s up?” he asks as I pointed behind me at Jey who was coming towards us.

“Aye, Shantell let me talk to you,” Jey says walking up as Solo blocks him from seeing me. “Not now Bro, folks could be watching, we ain’t trying to be on TMZ. I’m bout to take her back to the hotel to get some rest. Hit her up later,” he said as Jey finally agreed walking off.

----------

Hotel Bar

Solo’s POV

He fuckin’ tried it man, you should have heard his bitch ass. “You was reckless wit her, and that can be another man’s gain,” I said mocking Montez as I snarled in disgust. “Well, where is the lie,” Joe says as I shot him a look as he downed his Tequilla shot. “You suppose to be on my side!” I say raising my voice a bit as Jimmy hits me on the shoulder.

We are on yo damn side, that’s why we here. Calm yo ass down,” he says with an irritated tone and face. “All the shit yo ass been complaining about these last two hours, you could have been in Shantell’s room telling her the truth,” Solo said pointing at me. “And what is that? I asked with an attitude. “That you love her and it’s killin’ you to think about another man takin yo place, fool,” Solo say taking a sip of his drink.

“Look, you need to fix this. I’m so serious, yo issues is fuckin up my time wit my wife, I was just about to get some pussy and here Solo comes sendin’ a 911 text about yo ass,” Joe says seriously. I feel ya cuz, shit don’t make no sense, like seriously,” Jimmy says giving me the side eye as I put my drink down. Alright, I’m goin’ I say throwing down some money for the tab heading out the bar.

----------------------------------

Shantell’s Hotel Room

Shantell’s POV

“Shan! Let Me In!” Jey shouts knocking on my door. “What the hell?” I said out loud wrapping my robe around me, coming out of the bathroom. Looking through the peephole to be sure I groaned, opening the door as Jey stormed inside. “Look, we need to talk,” he said, and looking at him I can see he’s had a few drinks. Oh, no I don’t want to deal with truthful drunk Jey tonight.

“I followed you guys at the carnival today for a minute before I finally came over,” he said pacing in front of me. “Why would you do that? I ask as Jey stops pacing his intense stare almost burning a hole in my soul. “I don’t want him near you!” He exclaimed coming closer to me holding my gaze.

“Come on Jey, we weren't doing anything, you didn't even give me a chance to tell him no. I don't even know what you and me are after last night," I say pulling my rob tighter around me as I feel him undressing me with his eyes  “Listen,” he starts as I cut him off “Can we talk tomorrow,” I said walking past him trying to open the door as he used his hand to close it back, pulling back into his broad chest as his arms went around my waist, holding me firmly in place.

I could feel his breath against my ear as his lips are close to my ear. “You have to understand, I am….I am a man," he mutters against my ear. "When you and I go into your room at night, I can’t turn myself in to a robot with no feelings, no desires. I ain’t build that way Shan,” he whispers kissing my neck as I moan leaning against him.

“Jey, we can’t,” I moan as he rubs my stomach. "I talk to your stomach every night to let our baby know, daddy loves him or her and that I love you. Every night I watch you,” he speaks as against my ear as his powerful deep voice is making it hard to think.

 “You take a shower, comb your hair, and rub lotion on your body,” he says gently wrapping his hands around my throat, taking me in a slow tortious kiss.  I groan as his other hand unties my robe, as the cool air from the room along with his powerful kisses cause me to shiver. “You put on one of my old shirts, and I pretend I’m on my phone, or watchin’ tv, he whispers against my lips as I kiss him again.

“Mhmm,that ain’t what I’m doin’ baby,” he breathes against my mouth before  moving his kisses to my neck. “I’m watchin’ you, I’m tryin’ not to, but I am…I do,” he moans moving his hands caressing my sensitive breasts as I gasp at his confession and actions.

 His actions and words are crumbling down the walls I’ve built to protect myself. Please, don’t stop,” I beg as he continues his torture of my senses as his hand is now playing with my even more sensitive clit.

Jey’s POV

“I am a man…. I am yo man. So, it ain't no more questions bout what we are. I'm yo man, and you my woman,” I whisper nibbling on her ear before licking and biting her neck. I had to make sure she understood me, she was mine and I was hers. I'm not about to lose my family; Shantell and the baby are my family. I feel her trembling against me, and I know she’s close.

Her strained cries of pleasure are encouraging me to continue to let my truth be known and to touch her. “I want to be with you," I proclaimed as I felt her falling apart in my arms. "Josh!" she cried falling into my embrace as I held her tighter. “I love you, and our baby,” I whispered against her neck, holding her tight." I love you too, Josh," she said trying to compose herself as I kissed her. I know we got a long way to go but for now we are going to take it one day at a time.

---------------------------------------

Annual Family Barbecue

Joe & Tangela’s

Joe’s POV

“You really trying me with these little sundresses, Tangela,” I growl against her neck as she’s trying to finish getting dressed for our annual cookout. “Babe, we ain’t got time for this everyone is about to come over baby,” Tangela wines moving away from me.

“A’ight I’m gon’ remember that shit when you want daddy to tap dat ass,” I boast as she blushes. “Well, I ain’t got to ask, I’ll just have to take that dick when I want it,” she says brushing up against me as I groan feeling her hands grab my dick.

“See yo ass starting shit,” I moan as the doorbell rings. “See I told you; we wouldn’t have had time; she says brushing past me to go open the door. “Damn! I hate it when she’s right but tonight she gon’ make it up to me.

Shantell’s POV

Well, it’s time for dinner and I’ve been avoiding Jey’s mom all day as I caught her looking at me a few times. I don’t know how to approach her and my mom watching me like a hawk isn’t helping either as she’s looking for any reason to pop off.

“Can someone pass the chicken,” I ask looking at the table spread not sure as to where to start. “I got you sis,” Jimmy says passing it to me. “So, Shan how far along are you?” Jey’s mom asks me as I look at Jey his contagious smile making me smile.” I’m almost eight weeks now, “I say happily. “Oh, so how is this going to work, are you guys back together?” she asked as my mom tapped my knee under the table as I gave her a pleading look.

“Uh, we are taking it day by day,” I said as I could feel papa Kishi’s eyes on me. “So, I guess marriage is out of the question?” he asks as I began coughing, almost choking on my food. “You ok babe,” Jey asks as I nod in response.

“Dad we are building our relationship back to where it was, I want to marry Shantell someday but we ain’t there yet,” Jey says as Jimmy gives him a proud nod.

“Oh, so are you getting a blood test for this baby?” his mom asked as I felt my mom tense next to me. “Oh, so what the hell you sayin’ about my daughter Mrs. Fatu?”  my mother questions in an irritated tone. “Oh, shit,” I heard Joe whisper as Tangela cleared her throat.  “I said, are they doing a blood test on the baby before he signs the birth certificate?” she asked again.

 “No, mama I’m not, this is my baby,” Jey says looking his mother in the eye. “Well, how do you know son?" she asks as my mother throws her silverware on her plate. “Now what you ain’t gon’ do is sit here and attack my child,” she says as I try to cut her off.  “Mama, it’s ok,” I say as she shoots me a look to shut up.

“The hell it ain’t! You been faithful and true to this boy, motivated him, loved him in spite of all the bullshit he don' took you through," she said as I felt Jey holding my hand under the table trying to keep me calm.  Now, she should have had this energy towards the hussy she let sit in at family functions that invented a fuckin’ baby! Yea, I said it!" my mama shouted as Jey’s mom looked upset.

"Your daughter is bringing my son down, he’s not as focused on his career as he should be, now she’s pregnant! Probably just wants him to take care of her like Taraji she did, "she says in disdain looking at me. Take care of me? Lady, I make damn near three times as much money as Jey.

 “Mama don’t get upset,” I said feeling the anger radiating off of her. "You want act like my child ain’t good enough for your son, woman you better come correct, I’m here now! You ain't gon' be disrespecting my child!" my mother says pointing her finger at Jey's mom.

"Auntie, we trying to have a family dinner, can you just cool it," Joe says looking at me mouthing he was sorry. "I'll hush, I'm just saying he better watch her around his money," she says taking a sip of her wine. "My baby makes more money than yo son does, she is a lead production director, most sought after at that.

She can go anywhere she wanted tomorrow, or anytime so she doesn’t need his lil ass money, she got long strong money over here boo,” she said getting back at Jey’s mom. “Ya’ll need to chill, it’s not good for Shantell or the baby," he said getting upset rubbing my shoulders as I had my head down not wanting to look at anybody. I knew I shouldn't have come when I found out she was coming.

 “Boy all this shit is you and your mama’s fault,” my mom says pointing at Jey. I ain’t denying that, and I’m doing everything in my power to make it right. I love Shantell," he said looking at my mom who seemed to like his answer. “She just wanted to trap my son!” Jey’s mama screamed pointing at me as a couple exhausted sighs could be heard at the table.

 “See, I told you this was a bad idea, we ain’t have no business comin’ over here tonight!” Trin hisses at Jimmy as he’s clueless as what to do to stop his mom.  “Mama let’s take a lil break,” Solo says standing up going over to his mom and taking her glass of wine. She was obviously drunk. Sofia gets up with Cameron, who is becoming fussy because of the commotion. “I gotta change Cameron,” she says walking off trying to get away from the drama.

  “I ain’t goin nowhere, Joe invited me,” she says taking a bite of her food. “Ma, why can’t you admit you were wrong about Taraji, and apologize for trying to push Josh away from Shantell,” Jimmy says honestly.  “I ain’t got to do nothin’” she says as I stand up. “Joe thank you for the invite, but in the course of ten minutes, I’ve been called a whore many different ways and a gold-digger. Now in order for me to keep being respectful I need to leave. I’m just over this,” I say trying to stay calm. I understand Babygirl," Joe says looking at me with sad eyes.

“No, you aren’t Shantell, sit down," Joe’s mother said as I looked at her with pleading eyes. “This is my son’s house, and he invited you, we're family.  I for one am happy Joshua found someone who makes him happy,” she said as I sat back down.  “Thank you, auntie,” Jey said giving her a small smile.

“Now, there you go, perfect auntie,” Jey’s mom said rolling her eyes at Joe’s mom. “I know you ain’t rollin’ your eyes at me. I think you mad because you can’t control these boys no more, they got wives, girlfriends, and are on the way to building their own families, Leave them boys alone!” Joe’s mom exclaimed as Trin shoots her a smile.

“In other words, let these grown ass men live, and pop your titty outta they mouth, my mom says adding fuel to the fire as the commotion continued throughout dinner. "Just tryin' to take my babies from me, all ya'll. Wrestlers, nurses, production directors, don't know nothing about being wives and mothers," Jey's mom says as Trin shoots her a look “Sandra! I’ve heard enough, no more wine tonight. Now leave it be, if they happy let it be,” papa Kishi said as Jey looks at his dad in shock.  

“We’re about to have our second grandchild that I can’t wait to spoil, and you know you will too. That’s if Shantell will even let us near the little one with the way you cuttin' the damn fool’. “Don’t speak to me that way,” she says in shock that her husband is correcting her.

“I did and I will, the Taraji situation was a huge blow, we almost lost our son. Now! I’m putting my foot down, leave Shantell and all the girls alone for that matter and eat your food. They all are doing great things and making this family proud. Now dats all I want to hear of it," he says leaving no room for argument as she began eating her food sobering up quickly. If the next seven months is anything like this, I'm not ready...Not ready at all.

Taglist: @reci24 @southerngirl41 @vebner37 @jeyusos-girl @melaninsugababy @romanreignkisser @bebesobrielo @arination99 @ 2-muchsauce @bakugoumarianawrites

[susandsnell]

@forthegothicheroine​ - the ask got deleted in a wild mishap, but here are the Which books I’d recommend to various Batman Villains! (thank you so much for this btw -- absolutely juicy question and I had a thrill imagining any scenario where I’d be in such a position as to be recommending them things! 

Harley Quinn - Fingersmith by Sarah Waters, naturally! Things not appearing what they seem, the plot twists, the self-reclamation, the romance, overcoming abuse - I think she’d really enjoy it! Conversely, I think Zola’s Thérèse Raquin would speak to her and maybe help her process some things regarding her bad patterns in criminal relationships. 

Poison Ivy - Gotta keep with the plants theme and give her The Weeds by Katy Simpson Smith, the tale of two women botanists from two different time periods whose entries framed around each type of plant and its uses explores a different theme/moment in their lives, usually relating to gendered violence and resilience to such. It’s even got a sapphic subplot, so really it’s made for her. Rumour has it that the Matt Reeves Batverse for her is planned to be inspired by Nathaniel Hawthorne’s Rappacini’s Daughter, which has me insanely excited -- so I’d throw that on the list as well. To switch gears from just the plants, I think that she’d really enjoy the sheer depth of devotion between women on display in My Best Friend’s Exorcism by Grady Hendrix. 

Riddler - I feel like any mystery novel you give the guy is going to end in “I simply would have _____, RIP to [protagonist’s/antagonist’s name] But I, Edward Nygma/Nigma/Nashton Am Different”. Guy probably went into a full rage about how stupidly Franklin Clarke from The ABC Murders got caught after all the trouble he took with the puzzle-clues. after so I think I’d give him Walter Tevis’ The Queen’s Gambit since a lot of iterations show him having a fondness for chess (and the genuine skill in the writing), and Beth’s arc with difficult beginnings, addiction struggles, resilience and alienation would resonate with him if he ever would admit to it. I also think Gogol would suit him well; I see him enjoying the humour in short works like The Nose, but Dead Souls’ protagonist really suits him as a trickster conman who entertains the possibility of doing better.

Scarecrow - Oh, this is the big one. Hardest one on the list, because Crane’s probably the best-read on the list considering his original motive of wanting to heist money to fund getting books, and his Year One backstory working this into his horrific childhood probably cemented this, so odds are he’s read most of them already, especially the classics! But I did like the suggestion in your fic The Most Poetical Topic he hasn’t read Stephen King’s Carrie, since that’s the shoo-in. I do think he’d also get a kick out of Silvia Moreno-Garcia’s works for modern gothics - Mexican Gothic and the use of the spores is up his alley in particular! Lindqvist‘s Let the Right One In with the cute little murder couple of vampire kids who absolutely obliterate bullies and find connection in being outsiders is probably his wish fulfilment jam, let’s be real. And because I’m me, I’d also insist on him reading The Moth Diaries by Rachel Klein because it’s essential reading imo and the psychological horror “is there a vampire or is it untreated grief and mental illness” plotline would tickle him. 

Two-Face - Handing him a copy of Phantom of the Opera is probably a great way to get him to flip the coin on whether he’s shooting you or drowning you, so I’d say I’d get Harvey some more legal-related literature. He’s probably a fan of Atticus Finch, so hand him a better John Grisham, a good Perry Mason tale, or Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities especially. And of course, Dumas’ Count of Monte Cristo. We’re counting on you, Harv!!! 

Penguin - Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Suskind was all but made for Oswald, especially the more grotesque iterations. It practically feels like proto-Burton!Oswald, although most iterations could probably get a lot out of the themes of abandonment and difficulty, the grotesque, and the ebb and flow of affections and power depending on one’s usefulness. The protagonist is even named after an animal to signify unwantedness!! But privately, I think Oswald likes his cozy mysteries too. 

Mr. Freeze - The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery -- really, hear me out, because while the book is only directly about grief and a new lease on life at the end, there’s the grief throughout for a life not lived, and I think he’d enjoy its little quotidian charms and the way it speaks of finding appreciation while you’re here. Otherwise, I’d say Terry Pratchett’s Nation, which is one of the other most immensely powerful explorations of grief. It also involves quite a few scientists for his bias!! 

Mad Hatter - Lewis Carroll’s works are his bread and butter, but I’d be very curious to see his thoughts on The Screwtape Letters. Otherwise I think I’d have to hand him a copy of The Stepford Wives with a sticky-note foreword of: “THIS IS A CAUTIONARY TALE, NOT AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL”. 

[spaceorphan18]

I agree with you about Finchel; they make more sense as a high school romance, that was really the time when they could have helped (and did help) each other to grow. After high school though, they don't really work as a couple. What they want from life, how they want to live their lives, isn't compatible. That might be controversial to say but in my opinion even RM's reported original plan for how the series was going to end supports that; they would be really back together (and last) only after Rachel had achieved most of her career-related dreams and Finn had gotten over his insecurities. I understand why lots of people like the "opposites attract" type of relationship, but most of the time that doesn't work too well long-term. But all of that said, I don't dislike them. I like early Finchel, and I don't mind them in season 2-3. I just think their relationship was more suited to be a high school romance, like you said, and I like them better as "exes who are always going to be thankful for the relationship they had because it was beautiful and meaningful while it lasted but they understand why they had to go their own ways".

And I think you have written a very quick interaction between Jesse and Blaine in the The Sims fic.... Or maybe it was in another story, I don't remember it now. I would check but AO3 is currently down! But that's why I had mentioned it.

Nonny. First of all. I went back and read The Addiction - and it still cracks me up. And it makes me want to play the Sims again.... It doesn't really have Jesse/Blaine interaction, though. I'll have to make sure a future fic has some of that fun dynamic!

Anyway... I really agree with what you've said about Finchel!

Yeah, I actually have a lot of thoughts about Finchel! And, it's kind of complex, as it's not coming from a place of like or dislike, just evaluation.

I think Finn and Rachel were actually very sweet in Season 1 and really didn't mind them in Season 2. I think they both did get something positive out of the relationship. Rachel got validation that she was worth loving from someone outside her sphere, while Finn gained knowledge that he could be more than the labels that were bestowed onto him. They did help each other grow -- and grow up into the people they'd one day become.

That's the thing about relationships that I think sometimes is missed in media. And this goes to friendships and other kinds of relationships beyond romantic ones -- that people come into our lives and sometimes those people only stay for a short time, but their impact can effect us for the rest of our lives. And even if it is a short time, it doesn't mean it wasn't meaningful or worth going through.

By Season 3, I think it's apparent that Finn and Rachel's story kind of ran its course. (Even if the writers/RM did plan to bring them back together one day...) Rachel was always meant to go out and live in a big city and be on Broadway. And she needed to have someone who could not only keep up with her, but not feel threated by her level of success. Her star was going to always shine bright, and I just don't feel like Finn was ever fully going to feel comfortable living in the shadow of that.

Meanwhile, Finn's story is one that (like Will - whom he's modeled after) it's okay to come home and stay tome. I actually really liked the idea that Finn would have flourished in a small town, and realizing that it has worth and that he can do good things. Something Glee struggled with -- was the idea that you can be more than just a huge Broadway star. You can teach in a small town and have it be fulfilling and meaningful. Rachel would have never been happy on such a smaller stage. But it would have suited Finn wonderfully.

So - at the end of the day (Jesse aside) I just think their stories were going in two different directions. But the impact they had on each other was always meaningful. And I actually like that aspect of Finchel.

[whiskeyswriting]

You Belong

| Song Inspiration: You Belong by Rachel Platten |

Time passes by and the Daggers all continue their work at training the new students. Each day that passes is a day closer to having these supposed best of the best graduate from Top Gun.

Jake and Alana continue their early morning gym dates. Today it was the same plan: gym, coffee, and drive to the base. 

Upon waking up, Alana groans as she gets up from bed. Her whole body aching. While she wasn’t a pilot, she still trained with them. This time the exercises and studying were getting to be too much for her to handle.

Alana barely managed to stay for fifteen minutes on the treadmill during her workout with Jake. 

She did everything she could to keep the pain and nausea down, but the fatigue kept getting worse every day that passed.

The next morning she had to call out after a night of non-stop vomiting. 

“Are you sure you don’t need me to stay?” Jake asks her as he brings her a cup of ginger and lemon tea.

“If I get worse I’ll call you. Go you’re already going to be late,” Alana whispers as her eyes close.

When she woke up a couple of hours later, Alana reached for her phone and texted her friends.

Cin🪅: Someone please end my misery. 😭

Lucky🍀: I know people that can get rid of Jake. 😏

Spicy🌶️: Why did I know she would say that? 🤔

Lucky🍀: Because you know and love me. 🤫

Cin🪅: I need some soup 🍲 or crackers…

Lucky🍀: I’m about to go up now… I’ll rush over once I’m done.

Spicy🌶️: Be there soon! 😘

Alana heads to the living room to sit on the couch. She tries to get some work done from home, but nausea continues to assault her. Setting her laptop to the side, Alana gingerly heads to the kitchen to get some ginger tea.   

While she waits for the tea to be done, Alana calls her Momma Cindy. “Momma…? I think I’m pregnant and I’m so scared.”

“Oh princess, I'll be right there. Want me to bring you a few tests to be sure?”

Alana can only sob out a soft yes.

The hour isn’t up when Cindy arrives. The first thing she does is take Alana in her arms and hugs her tightly. “It’s okay, princess. You’ll be okay. I’m here with you.”

Cindy helps Alana stay calm while they wait for the test results. “Want me to go with you to your doctor’s appointment?”

“No, it’s okay. I gotta do this one alone. Maybe the next one? Oh and don’t tell papa yet. I don’t want him trying to get Jake discharged from the Navy,” Alana teases.

The knock at the door alerts them that Grace arrived. Alana goes to open the door. “Thanks… I would invite you to stay but I think it’s a stomach bug so I don’t wanna pass it to you.” She hates lying to her best friend but, at the moment, Cin felt like she had no choice. 

She knew Grace and Bradley had been trying for a baby but hadn’t been successful. How could she rub it into their faces now?

Grace could tell Alana was hiding something but didn’t call her out on it. “Sure. Keep me posted, okay? I’ll bring you a few more soups tomorrow.”

“Thank you, love,” Alana tells her.

****

The next day Alana goes to see her off-base doctor confirmed the results. “Congratulations Alana. You’re pregnant. I want you to see Dr. Thompson as soon as possible. Actually, let me call her to see when she’s available.”

Luck was on Alana’s side, as Dr. Thompson had availability in the next hour. 

“Let’s do some an ultrasound and some blood work. Do you have any known medical allergies?”

“None that I’m aware of.” 

Alana and the doctor talk some more throughout the appointment. Alana was informed of what to expect during her pregnancy and what prenatal vitamins she should be taking. 

“Follow me and we’ll do the ultrasound,” Dr. Thompson says as she leads Alana to another section of her practice.

****

Alana’s knee is bouncing nervously as she waits for Jake to get to her office for lunch. The small sonogram pictures sat at her desk and she couldn’t stop staring at them. When he knocks at the door, Alana covers the sonogram so Jake won’t immediately see them.

“Hey! I thought you called out sick,” Jake says in greeting going around her desk to kiss her.

“I did initially but then I called to say that I would be late. It’ll be like this for the next few months.” She waits to see if he gets what she’s saying.

“Are you okay? Is it bad news?”

“More like life-changing news,” she says softly, handing him the sonogram pictures.

His teasing smirk fell as he was about to ask if she forged a doctor’s note. His eyes widen and he looks from Cin to the sonograms back to Cin. “You’re… We’re…”

The next thing she knows is he starts pacing around her office, running his hand through his hair. “I can’t do this. I’m too young!”

Cin sighs. “Are you done panicking so I can tell you to look at the sonograms again?” 

Jake’s brows furrow but he looks down again and notices Baby A and Baby B on the top right corners of each sonogram.

His face goes from shock to a huge smile. “TWINS!? We’re having twins!?” 

Alana nods with tears in her eyes. Jake rushes to pick her up and spins her. “No no!”

“Sorry!” He sets her down and kisses her tenderly. He places his hand over her stomach. “How did I not notice? You’ve lost a bit of weight and your girls look even better!”

“Down your horn dog,” Cin says laughing.

“What did the doctor tell you? Have you told anyone? When are you due?”

“All good questions: to start off only my Momma Cindy knows and now you… I’m due in just over 5 and a half months. I just made it past the 8 weeks or 2 months mark.”

“That’s how long you've been feeling tired and everything has been aching. It explains the face you made when I was cooking the other day.”

“What face?”

“Like if the scent or garlic made you sick to your stomach. I thought it was just you being dramatic to my cooking.”

Alana chuckled. “No babe you know I love when you cook. I’m glad your mama taught you that.”

****

Another week passes. Alana’s symptoms continue to increase. She’s limited her outings with the Daggers. It’s no surprise to her that Grace and Baylie are the first to notice and also that Alana isn’t drinking.

“Okay wifey. This is an intervention. Are you breaking up with us?” Baylie asks. "Jake isn't even THAT attractive. I can't believe you would break up with us for HIM."

Alana just stares at her blinking until the nausea comes up and she runs to the bathroom.

“Even the thought of him over us made her sick,” Baylie jokes with Grace as they wait for Alana.

Once she returns, Grace asks Alana. “How far along?”

“Nine weeks,” she says, laying down on the sofa. “And they’re killing me already.”

Baylie and Grace look at each other. “They’re… as in twins!?”

Alana nods but then starts sniffling. “I… I wasn’t sure how to tell either of you because I didn’t want either of you… I didn’t want to make you feel bad.”

She looks at both her friends before continuing. “Spicy… I know you and Brad have been trying and Lucky… I may not know what losing a baby is like but it must be difficult.”

Baylie is the first to hug her. “Oh Cin. You could never make us feel bad about two little babies coming into our lives. I can't wait to love on them.”

Grace hugs her next, playfully pushing Baylie away. “Oh love. No never. Don't think for one second I'm not over the moon happy for you. And it's double the babies to love and spoil. We'll be the best aunties ever.” She grins mischievously at Lucky.

“Oh yeah we’re going to spoil them rotten.”

****

The weeks continue to pass and Cin starts showing more of her bump. Then comes the appointment to find out the sex of the babies. The whole squad wants to go but they accept, some begrudgingly, that Jake should be the one to accompany Alana to the appointment.

The tech is smiling at them as they do the ultrasound. Rapid heartbeats fill the room. “Both heartbeats sound healthy and quite active… Ah here we go.”

Jake and Alana share happy tears when they’re told. “I already know what names I want,” Cin says first.

“I do too,” Jake says as he gives her a tender kiss and they leave to go tell their friends and family.

•‧:❤️:‧:❤️:‧•

The Usual Suspects: @askmarinaandothers @bayisdying @breadsquash @callmemana @callsignscupcake @chipperxbaby @cycbaby @dragon-kazansky @gracespicybradshaw @ladylanera @starlit-epiphany

[litcityblues]

Foundation, Season 2: You Can Put The Haterade Down Now

One thing that kind of surprised me about the first season of this show was just how many haters came out of the woodwork to proclaim their disdain for it. I couldn't understand that-- the original source material covers something like a thousand years or so and had they done a page-to-screen adaptation, pure and simple, it would have been... boring, quite honestly.

No, what Apple has done is what I wish that Amazon would have done with The Wheel of Time: they've put some money behind this thing, and as a result, even if you have issues with the adaptation of the show-- which, in general, I don't, then you can at least acknowledge that it looks beautiful.

Season 2 picks up about a century after we last saw our heroes and the Second Crisis predicted by Hari Seldon (Jared Harris) is approaching. This time around, however, we get multiple Seldons. There's the one on Terminus, hanging in his vault, popping out to send mysterious messages to the waiting crowds like 'HOBER MALLOW' which people eventually figure out. It turns out, in the time jump forward, the Cleons (Lee Pace, Terrence Mann, and Cassian Bilton) have assumed that Terminus is long gone and haven't bothered to double-check, so the Foundation is now spreading the 'gospel of Seldon' as a religion to neighboring planets and is starting to attract attention. Mallow (Dmitri Leonidas)-- who isn't a priest, but a ne'er do well merchant of sorts, gets tracked down by a couple of the clerics- Poly (Kulvinder Ghir) and Constant. (Isabella Laughland)

Back on Trantor, a fresh trio of Cleons is confronted with some unusual happenings: someone sends assassins to try and kill Day, who has made the momentous decision to end the genetic dynasty and marry to produce heirs. (Also, he's sleeping with Demerzel (Laura Birn) now, which is... weird. Dusk is especially weirded out by it, but few others seem to comment on it.) Naturally, his decision to seek a bride-- in this case, Queen Sareth I (Ella Rae-Smith) of the Cloud Dominion makes Dusk and Dawn a little nervous, as once the baby is born, it sort of makes them irrelevant. Happily for them, before Day can go too much further with his plans, he catches wind of something going on in the Outer Rim and finds out that the Foundation has survived thanks to renegade General Bel Riose. (Ben Daniels)

The second one is on flooded Synnax with Gaal (Lou Llobell) and Salvor (Leah Harvey) and he's a little upset because he's been trapped inside the Prime Radiant pretty much the entire time and it hasn't been fun for him.

Gaal and Salvor do acknowledge this, but point out that they're going to need some help getting off the planet and Mobile Seldon after some reluctance- for obvious, 'you trapped me in the Prime Radiant for like a hundred years' reasons, agrees to do so. They start exploring Gaal and Salvor's mental abilities- and Gaal sees a vision from 150 years in the future where a powerful Mentalic called The Mule (Mikael Persbrandt) kills Salvor. Desperate to prevent that, they answer the mental call from the planet Ignis, where they find a colony of Mentalics, who seem welcoming at first, but their leader Tellem (Rachel House) takes them captive instead and the trio- which turns into a duo after Mobile Seldon is (seemingly) killed by Tellem have to figure out how to break free and defeat Tellem.

Eventually, they do-- but at a cost. Salvor sacrifices her life to prevent Gaal from being killed-- and proves that the future can be changed because her death now means that her vision of the future can't have come true. Gaal and Mobile Seldon agree to enter cryostasis for a century or so, waking up once a year to teach the nascent new Second Foundation.

Back with the other Seldon, the second crisis has arrived- though it doesn't go the way that Empire thinks it will though. Mallow cuts a deal with the Spacers to deny Empire the use of hyperspace and they start a chain reaction that slowly destroys the Imperial fleet, even as Empire sends the wreck of Invictus spinning down to the planet where everyone and everything is seemingly destroyed. Day is kicked out an airlock by Riose and then Mallow and Riose await their fate together while Constant is set adrift in a converted cleaning module, hoping that someone will pick her up.

On Trantor, Demerzel is outsmarted- kind of. Dusk finds out the truth about her (the standout episode, "Long Ago, Not Far Away" fills in a lot of the gaps) and her programming means that she will stay loyal to the genetic dynasty above all, so Dusk is killed to protect her secret. Sareth-- with child- and Dawn flees and Demerzel- with a copy of the Prime Radiant decants three new Emperors and just keeps on keeping on-- at least for now.

It turns out that Constant does survive and gets picked up by Seldon's vault and it turns out to be a little TARDIS-like, since it's bigger on the inside and can hold the entire populace of Terminus.

We flash forward to the future, where a crazed-looking Mule vows to find Gaal Dornick, as he senses her presence.

Overall: Look, you can put down the Haterade now, people: this is a good show. It might even wind up being a great show and-- it's not that far off from the books. It might be one of those rare adaptations that- and I realize I'm treading on some very thin ice here- improves upon the source material?

I know that's going to seem like heresy to a lot of sci-fi fans and I respect that. If Asimov is your do-or-die and you expected something closer to the books with this adaptation, I get it. You can be made-- but with adaptations, you've got to figure out how to bring new viewers in without them having to read the books first and if you're really good at what you do, you'll inspire new viewers/people who haven't read the books to maybe go check them out. Either way, I think people are going to be reading those books that maybe wouldn't have before and so, even if you disagree with it or hate the adaptation, I'm going to come down on the side of this being a good, solid adaptation-- maybe even a great one. (I mean, come on y'all: the source material did have some issues.)

That's not to say that it's not without potential problems. I don't know if you can keep leaning on Gaal Dornick if you go much beyond the next season or so. If she keeps freezing herself to jump ahead, I'm going to hope that the character at least suffers some side effects or something. It's going to start straining credibility a bit if she just keeps getting iced to go between seasons and jump ahead in time.

I'm also intrigued by the Seldon Vault and where they're going... because that is definitely not in the books either, so I'm kind of curious to see what they do with it.

My Grade: Stop hating, this is good and potentially great science fiction that while not a perfect adaptation of its source material does right by it at the very least. **** out of ****

[extollingtheeveryday]

Cheshvan

by Rabbi Rachel Barenblat (The Velveteen Rabbi)

Cheshvan is an empty month. A blank slate. An open expanse. It is the only month which contains no Jewish holidays (aside from Shabbat) and no special mitzvot. Some people have the custom of calling this month Mar-Cheshvan, "Bitter Cheshvan," because after so many weeks of feeling ourselves to be in God's presence, we enter into a whole month with no festival opportunities to feel that closeness.

Some rabbis (me included) joke that Mar-Cheshvan is short for "Marvelous Cheshvan," and that Cheshvan is our favorite month precisely because there is nothing in it. After the hard work and the emotional-spiritual rollercoaster of the Days of Awe and Sukkot, a month containing nothing but weekdays and Shabbat feels like a gift. A time to embrace emptiness and quiet. Thank God for Cheshvan; I can't keep up this work-pace anymore!

But I think there's a deeper truth hidden in the "I ♥ Cheshvan" jokes. Our festival cycle has a rhythm, a natural ebb and flow. Times of extroversion and times of introversion; times of intense spiritual work and times of quiet when the aftereffects of that work can reverberate in our hearts and souls. After the spring journey of Pesach and the Omer, we get a quiet period before the summer's fasts and Tisha b'Av and the ramp-up to the Days of Awe. After the fall journey of the Days of Awe and Sukkot, we get a quiet period before the small holidays which stud the wintertime lead us toward spring and Pesach.

(These are northern-hemisphere interpretations; if you live in the global South, the seasonal rhythm is inverted, but the holidays still lead one to the next, and the spiritually-fallow periods are still built-in.)

The quiet time matters too. It's like the silence after the chant, writ large. When a long-anticipated event is over, there can be a let-down. All that time preparing and getting excited, and now it's over; now what? But Cheshvan offers the opportunity to experience the quiet time after the feasts and festivals as a necessary part of the rhythm.

Reb Zalman (may his memory be a blessing) used to speak about the importance of "domesticating" the peak experience -- taking the spiritual highs we can experience on retreat, and using their energy to fuel spiritual practice when we're home again. Coming down from the big fall holiday season is a little bit like coming home from a retreat. We return our focus to all the details of ordinary life. But that doesn't mean that we're no longer in the radiant Presence. We just have to remember how to access that Presence through ordinary living. Avodah b'gashmiut, in Hasidic parlance.

We couldn't live at the intense pace of the Days of Awe and Sukkot all the time. From the practical work of preparing services and sermons and setting up chairs and building sukkahs, to the intellectual work of studying the holidays' texts and liturgies and themes, to the emotional work of noticing what arises in us during the holiday season, to the spiritual work of teshuvah and inner transformation -- there's no way to sustain that level of activity and experience all the time. And that's okay.

The downtime helps us integrate the experience we've just had. Try this metaphor on: the quiet month which comes after all of the festivals is like the morning after a grand and elaborate wedding. The planning and preparation all culminated in a beautiful ceremony and a fabulous party -- and now it's the next day; the first day of the rest of the couple's life; time to integrate the memories and carry them into whatever comes next. Tishri was the wedding. Now it's the morning-after.

The party is finally over. The last guests have gone home. Awaken to your quiet house, a sweet sunrise, coffee filling the room with fragrance. Cup your hands around your mug and look around you. Something new is beginning, right here in this quiet place. Welcome to Cheshvan.

(source)

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

what's body back about 👀

okay this is coming at the perfect time because tomorrow’s video may or may not be all about BB!! 👀 also reminds me that I want to make a WIP intro for it! basic info is that it’s adult litfic!

The short answer is that BB is the bridge novella between Moth Work and Feeding Habits (which was a duology I wrote a couple years ago). If you don’t know, those book follow two men in a verrrryyy complicated relationship (Lonan & Harrison). MW is all about Harrison wanting to help Lonan & realizing he has to let that go in order to progress in his own life, and FH is about Harrison needing to see him again (for closure reasons, he says. Sure).

BB is the bridge between that gap, and when we see Harrison at his worst—his “I never want to see you again” era. I wrote THIS ask about it which is rambly but still super accurate.

And here’s the logline:

It’s 2005 in Las Vegas and 21-year-old Harrison is tired of routines, of gods, of men. On a mission to move past a complicated breakup, he’s about to get recklessly indulgent--and he’s come to the right place.

I’m hoping it’ll be around 20k! At nearly 7k now, which is absolutely bonkers. I’m thinking maybe 5 chapters?

Most of it so far has been deep Catholic contemplations, lol, which has been a bit unexpected because it implies Harrison would’ve gone out of his way to study the Bible at some point before BB starts, which I actually hadn’t planned for him to do, but clearly is what he did because there’s no way his voice would know all the allusions he makes otherwise (he’s an atheist who didn’t grow up Christian).

I JUST finished chapter 2 which was about 4k and called Immaculate Mary. This chapter was mostly about Harrison’s mother, Suzanna, who he now lives with post Lonan breakup. I didn’t think she’d get a chapter tbh but I see now that I needed that chapter to trigger Harrison into his glittery downfall lol.

I’ve been sharing a lot of it on here because idk I love this app for long and complicated musings lmao but probably won’t talk much about it on YouTube in comparison to SV since it’s sooo personal.

In a lot of ways, this book is just about being 21. I had such a hilariously bad intro to 21, and it’s only seemed to get worse, HAHA, and while I don’t often get sooo close to my writing to the point where I’m exploring my own life, I wanted to capture this very real moment of 21 year old Rachel’s life. I am not nearly as much of a disaster (affectionate) as Harrison, but some of those feelings are 100% mine. It’s why this project has been so cathartic for me lmao. I’ve never felt so personal about a project before. I want to hold this one forever. Me in 10 years is going to be like wow… all good?

Music has been… the most important thing in my life for this book and I could go on and on about the playlist which I’ll eventually make on Spotify (I am ancient and still buy my music LMAO).

Thanks for asking, always down to answer more q’s!

[newagesispage]

                                                                   JANUARY 2025 

THE RIB PAGE 

It is a whole new year and a whole new fight to keep this America free! 

Here’s to justice for the other half. 

***** 

What can I say about the person who influenced me more than almost anyone? I can never put into words the effect this man had on my life. Jimmy Carter, our longest living President has died at 100. We should all aspire to be a Jimmy Carter. It is almost like he (or something) planned it this way. Despite all the health problems that he had, I think he got to go the way he wanted. President Carter got to vote for Harris like he wanted and then leave us before Trump takes over. Nobody with half a heart wants to live the chaotic carnage of the next 4 years. It’s a shame that Scary Clown 45 learned none of the lessons that Carter taught us. Today’s evangelicals did not learn anything from him either. The man had a unique relationship with God and he died on a Sunday which also seemed appropriate. The world is a better place because of our 39th President. Thank you for everything.  

***** 

Does anybody else feel like the world has gone nuts and it is all up to you? There is a lot of that going around. ** Listen to history. Don’t revoke the past. 

***** 

Chi Chi’s is coming back! ** Scrubs is coming back but we already have St. Denis! ** Party City has filed a second bankruptcy. 

***** 

Days alert: Doug Williams funeral sure brought a lot of old characters back to Salem. How great to see Marie Horton, Liz Chandler and Steve Olsen again, if only for a moment. Jennifer, Ciara, Lucas and Hope were a sight for sore eyes! The Dec. 2 episode was one of the best in a long time. They pulled out all the stops. I could go without Doug, the grandson but we will see where it goes. It was good to see Marlena in the Horton house. That does not happen very often. Bill Hayes will be so missed. ** Rachel was on Jimmy Kimmel. ** Wouldn’t Joy and Aaron be a cute couple?? ** More Clyde! 

***** 

Jasmin Lawrence is engaged to Eric Murphy. ** Selena Gomez is engaged to Benny Blanco. 

***** 

Kerry Washington got her star on the Hollywood Walk of fame. August Wilson is about to get one too! 

***** 

Portia and Ellen celebrated 20 years together. 

***** 

The Republicans are known for business, and yet the economy always seems to tank under the Republicans. - Donald Trump 

***** 

Re: his father: People who he starts to dislike, with merit or not, he just takes it way too far. - Don Jr. 

****** 

Sometimes I’ve wondered why some throw the word ‘intellectual’ around as a bad thing. Do the media and the right think we should all be cavemen? My parents were not rich and did not have degrees but they read and listened and wanted to know things. To them, it wasn’t just, “Me want $ and I will destroy all that I don’t understand.” All of my life, I thought smart was good. Now it seems that half the country just wants Trump to air grievances and sell them more crap so they don’t have to think. Why do so many want to be up this man’s ass? ** Gavin Newsom seems to be trying to Trump proof California.  

***** 

Is there a reason that men are buying into this “they are the problem” talking point? Before and after the election, I kept hearing that young men turned away from liberals because they are told that the countries problems are all their fault. That seems ridic since I can’t see them really believing that. It sounds like another excuse. 

***** 

Liza Minnelli has a biopic coming. 

***** 

Chinese hackers stole documents from the U.S. treasury. 

***** 

Fuck you Joe Biden – Megyn Kelly 

***** 

Fuck yourself in the face. - Elon Musk 

***** 

Beatles ‘64 is here using footage from the Maysles Brothers with help from Martin Scorsese. 

***** 

The NY film Critics awards noms included: The Brutalist, Adrien Brody, Carol Kane and Kieran Culkin. 

***** 

Yvette Nicole Brown married Anthony Davis. 

***** 

I don’t like that Biden kept telling us that he would not pardon his son, Hunter and then he did. But, I don’t see that he had much choice. Let him pardon away. It is not illegal like so much of what trump has done. These are unique times and people must be protected against these thugs. Trump pardoned family members too. In fact, Trump pardoned 142 folks. 

***** 

Hunter should absolutely go to prison for taking $2 billion dollars from Saudi Arabia and giving them classified info, as well as protecting them during their genocide on Yemen. Oh wait, that was Jared Kushner. -Kyle Kulin 

***** 

It is an outrage that Luigi Mangione seems to have killed Insurance CEO Brian Thompson in cold blood. It is equally outrageous that some have called the suspect a hero. What about the victim’s family? And why are people sending the dude $? Really? It is understandable that disgruntled insurance customers have horror stories. I don’t understand why so many do not want health care for all, while at the same time, they bitch and moan about insurance companies. At least we should have a central database for info so we are not filling out the same paperwork over and over. Single pay system!!  In any event, we should not be holding this wealthy murderer up as an example and as a sex symbol. He is so gross. C’mon people. As usual, this country loves the villain. People swooned over the Nightstalker and Bundy too. With Manson’s knowledge of the Bible, he would probably be voted right into the Senate or something now. 

***** 

The Golden Globe noms are out. I will be routing for Wallace and Gromit: Vengence most foul! Other noms include Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, A Real Pain, Conclave, Jessie Eisenberg, Angelina Jolie, Pamela Anderson, Tilda Swinton, Cynthia Erivo, Kieran Culkin, Jeremy Strong, Hacks, Only Murders in the building, Abbott Elementary, Donald Glover, Kathy Bates, Keri Russell, Jean Smart, Jodie Foster, Steve Martin, Martin Short,  Ali Wong and Jessie Plemons. 

***** 

The Library of congress has added the 2024 entrants to the National recording registry. They include Abba: Dancing Queen, Blondie: Parallel Lines, The Notorious B.I.G.: Ready to die, Green Day: Dookie, The Chicks: Wide Open Spaces, Gene Autry: Rudolph, the Red nosed reindeer, The Cars, Juan Gabriel, Amor Eterno, Patti Page: Tennessee Waltz, Kronos Quartet: Pieces of Africa, Bobby McFerrin: Don’t Worry, Be Happy, Johnny Mathis: Chances Are and Bill Withers: Ain’t no Sunshine. 

***** 

This South Korea thing was probably good for Trump to see. Impeachment is here for Yoon Suk Yeol. He might see how wrong Marshall law could go for him. We won’t stand for it either. And now the South Korean court is looking to arrest President Yoon. 

***** 

I so love Ronnie Chieng and Jon Stewart but they cut people off. They seem to be trying so hard to be funny that they don’t let others talk. C’mon, do better! 

***** 

Francesca Eastwood will not be charged with domestic violence. 

***** 

All My Love with Chris Martin and Dick Van Dyke is incredible!! Dick turned 99 on Dec. 13 after he had to evacuate his home during the wildfires. 

***** 

My spirit is broken. - Flavor Flav : Blame it on Fuckin’ NBC! 

***** 

A 7.0 earthquake hit Northern California. 

***** 

So, anime porn is the hottest porn right now? ** Florida says that one must use an I.D. every time now with Pornhub. 

***** 

Thank you, Night Court for your guest stars like Andy Daly and Joe lo Truglio. 

***** 

Bill Maher says it may be time to shut down his show because he does not want to talk about Trump for 4 more years. I think he is right. It’s time to shut it down. 

***** 

You got to piss off somebody. It’s not good weed if you don’t choke a little bit. - Chris Rock 

***** 

Sexual assault news: Jay-Z was accused of raping a 13 year old girl. ** Blake Lively has sued Justin Baldoni for sexual harassment. 

***** 

Werner Herzog has a book to be reckoned with: Every Man for himself and God against all. 

***** 

Jared Leto will play Skeletor! 

***** 

Nothing will kill a great employee faster than watching you tolerate a bad one. 

***** 

Lara Trump has removed her name to be considered to take Rubio’s Sente seat. 

***** 

Sonic 3 opened with $62 mil. 

***** 

Tension has dissipated but things are still topsy turvy in America. When the votes are broken down, Harris lost by about 12 votes per precinct. I wonder if the new administration will go back to stoning people. Will women be allowed to wear pants? Will women have bank accounts or own property? I hope we have all enjoyed our freedoms these last few months. Everything could change for many in this country. If you don’t own a rebel flag or if you are poor or if you have a pussy, it could all be over. It feels like the time of Stalin. Watch what you say because overly sensitive Trump may take offense and have you shot.  Are we looking at Pottersville: the Country? ** Some are saying that Biden should be out there making speeches et al with his little time left. He has plenty to do behind the scenes. Let Trump have all the oxygen in the room. He won and he is still out there bitching like we knew he would. Let him and his co-Pres Musk talk and talk util some of these citizens that voted them in, start to get it. 

***** 

The difference between Trump and Jim Jones is that Trump would charge you for the Kool (flavor)- aid. - Left action 

***** 

Have you seen this doc about the ‘douche of the decade, Joe Francis?’ It’s almost like Trump and Epstein and Weinstein are like all the same person 

***** 

The same Republicans who whined about former AG, US Senator and VP Kamala Harris being an, “unqualified DEI hire,” are totally fine with Trump picking his friends, family, Fox hosts, tv Doctors and top donors for advisors, ambassadorships, Department heads and cabinet posts. - Jo from Jerz  

***** 

Obesity rates are down!! ** Drug use is down. There has been a 17% decline in OD deaths. ** Murder hornets are gone. 

***** 

The top 5 grossing films of 2024 are all sequels. UGH!! 

***** 

Russia has been executing many Ukranian prisoners. ** Word is that North Korean troops are suffering heavy losses as they are unprotected by Russian forces. 

***** 

The Matt Gaetz ethics report found substantial evidence of statutory rape, illicit drug use and participating in prostitution. 

***** 

Trump’s crypto has partnered with a platform linked to mid-east militants, Hamas and Hezbollah. ** Will Project 2025 be our new constitution? 

***** 

Sometimes I wonder if Colbert cares more about the intro to bits than he does the actual bit. 

***** 

Trigger a MAGA: Tell them M&M’s started printing W’s on their candy for “woke.” - Left action 

***** 

Why did nobody say anything about the way that Trump was telling Kristen Welker how to do her job? What kind of a job will Trump do? There are so many things he has talked about doing like eliminating the IRS direct file. No more free tax prep? Will he set free the Jan. 6 criminals? Will the families of those hurt or killed in the melee sue the Scary Clown administration? As far as Ukraine and the economy are concerned, Biden has that headed in the right direction. ** Word is that Trump says foreign companies will get to bypass regulations if they invest a billion in the U.S. Looks like small American companies are fucked. 

***** 

Biden commuted sentences for all but 3 Federal death row inmates. 

***** 

ABC news and George Stephanopoulos will pay $15 mil to Trump for defamation. The lawsuit was dismissed and the $ will go to the Presidential foundation and museum. It all comes down to the term, “liable for rape.” ** And now he is suing pollsters in Iowa. We all knew that even with a win, he can’t be happy. He just keeps on bitching and getting off on dragging everyone into court. There aren’t as many headlines about him anymore unless he’s accompanied by his side piece President Musk. Estimates are that Musk spent about a quarter of a billion to make Trump President. It sounds like true love. 

***** 

Abortions and paganism are on the rise. 

***** 

Trump sandwich: White bread full of baloney with Russian dressing and a small pickle. - FB 

***** 

Matthew Gray Gubler is coming back for an episode of Criminal Minds: Evolution in season 3. 

***** 

4 episodes of Malcolm in the middle are coming with Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston and Frankie Muniz. 

***** 

Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema voted against Biden’s National Labor regulator board nom.  

***** 

It would seem that we need some restructuring in the secret service. The bi partisan assassination investigation seems to be stone walled by some in secret service. 

***** 

Jenna Bush Hager claims that NBC told her to stop saying, “ya’ll.” 

***** 

Why do people always want to remake classics? Remake bad movies and make them better!! 

***** 

The Hollywood Critics Association named Resident Alien the best cable series!!!!!!! What a fabulous show!! 

***** 

R.I.P. Bob Bryar, Claudene Wilson, James Abrahams, Cody Longo, victims of the Alaskan fishing vessel, Marshall Brickman, Lance Morrow, Motorcycle Mary Mcgee, Brian Thompson, Marvin Laird, Earl Holliman, Paul Maslansky, Mark Withers, Kreskin, Rickey Henderson, Alfa Anderson, David Mallett, Arlene Croce, Lorraine O’Grady, Diane Delano, Art Evans, Woody Fraser, cyclone Chido victims, Embraer jet victims, Aaron Brown, Richard Perry, Birt the Crocodile, Rocky Colavito, Maryland shooting victims, Nikki Giovanni, Abundant life school shooting victims, Zakir Hussain, Ruth Reardon O’Brien, Olivia Hussey, Dayle Haddon, South Korean plane crash victims, Greg Gumbel, Charles Shyer,  Thomas Francis O’Brien, Angela Alvarez, Louis Nelson, Michael Cole, Thom Christopher, Geoffrey Deuel, Linda Lavin, Angus Macinnes, Wayne Northrop, New Orleans terrorist victims and Jimmy Carter. 

[softpine]

speaking of lis... what do you think about chloe's relationship with rachel? and with max? bonus question: who's your favorite character? love your story btw ❤️

oh my godddd thank you for asking because i have Thoughts and since i couldn't get streaming to work for me, they're just rattling around in my head all day fjksjds

my favorite character is chloe 💙 she is the definition of misunderstood, to the point where i don’t even think she understands most of her emotions or actions. she’s like a wild animal – hurt, distrustful, impulsive, and defensive, but when she finally lets you in, she’s never ever leaving you. episode 2 and 3 do a great job of showing you who chloe really is. they display all her most unfavorable behaviors and show you exactly why she is the way she is (trauma, leading to fear of abandonment & self-destructive tendencies...). then, immediately afterwards, everything you’ve seen of chloe is contrasted with the most favorable parts of her personality: her spontaneity, fearlessness, wit, and protectiveness. by the end, you love her for all her qualities, because they make her who she is 🥺

that leads me to rachel... okay so my opinion of rachel is 100% based on the first game, not at all by the prequel. before the storm felt like fanfiction to me, so i disregard it entirely fjksjd but rachel in the first game is extremely compelling to me. she truly was a chameleon. i don’t think anyone knew rachel for who she really was, not even chloe or frank, and especially not mr. jefferson. i think she was quick to fall in love, but not quick to trust. she showed just enough of her personality to get by, and she let everyone fill in the blanks on their own. this is why i believe everyone loved her; because she was able to be a blank slate. and when she went missing, this blank slate that she had cultivated so carefully ended up biting her in the ass, because everyone filled that slate with whatever theory matched their perception of rachel the best. chloe was the only person left standing who didn’t care what rachel did, how badly she betrayed her, or what her true intentions were. she just wanted to find rachel so they could figure it all out together. sadly, we’ll never know (and more importantly, chloe will never know) what was real between them. any attempt to guess how much chloe meant to rachel will be fruitless, because we’re just trying to fill in the blank slate like everyone else.

and then we have max. to be perfectly honest, max is not a strong character on her own. if left to her own devices, she falls prey to peer pressure (vortex club universe), doesn’t apply herself even when she feels passionate about it (not entering the photo contest), and she’s kind of a coward (can’t bring herself to stay in touch with chloe after she moves, or to reconnect with her later). but chloe has a way of pushing her out of her comfort zone for the better. max loves adventure, she’s just too scared to seek it out on her own. you can see it in her diary entries after every reckless or thrilling thing she does with chloe. she needs someone like her to bring that side of herself out, and it helps that she already trusts chloe completely because of their past. on the other hand, max is the voice of reason when chloe’s ideas get a little too deranged. without max’s intervention, chloe can literally become a murderer, so... they truly are yin and yang. they need each other! not only that, they like each other. they can be silly or sincere, they can fight and make up, they can scheme & carry out their plans, and they can trust and rely on each other completely after everything they’ve been through. i know there’s no such thing as a perfect couple, but to me, they’re about as close as you can get 😌

[hockeywhy]

caught in the middle (1); m. barzal

SYNOPSIS: For the sake of your friend’s wedding with Tito, you and Mat agree to maintain the facade of still being the happy couple everyone sees you as. But the act comes with its consequences, one more taxing than the other. WARNINGS: language. WORD COUNT: 11.2k A/N: I am so excited for this because it contains some of the tropes I enjoy seeing in fics, and I was dying to also put out some new content as opposed to only reposting my old writing. I wish I wrote this when I was still decent at doing the thing, but I hope that this is still an enjoyable read that makes you look forward to the next part! Title is based off Alexander 23′s Caught in the Middle which is such a good song and I really recommend. Sections in italics represent flashbacks. 

PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4

“We’re getting married!” 

You gasped, bringing both hands to cover the lower half of your face as your jaw dropped at the announcement. It shouldn’t be so surprising – you would’ve bet even your most prized possession that this was bound to happen at some point eventually – but knowing this was actually now a sure thing sent a thrill through you. It didn’t take long for the shock to wear off and in place of it, your expression mirrored that of your best friend’s: the wide grin, the bright eyes and of course, the giggles of sheer excitement as soon as the news sunk in. Elise was glowing and next to her, Tito embodied the idea of what the world’s proudest man would look like. 

“Oh my god!” you gasped, and Elise burst into laughter, not hesitating to jump out of her seat at the same time you did so that the two of you could embrace. Among your squeals and giggles, you could faintly make out the sound of hands being clapped, then caught sight of Mat and Tito hugging. Over Elise’s shoulder and over Tito’s, you and Mat exchanged smiles and you couldn’t help the chuckle that left your mouth as soon as he winked at you. “Congratulations!” you said as soon as you broke apart, though the two of you still held hands. Immediately, your gaze fell down to her hand where a ring now rested, and you couldn’t help but wonder how you hadn’t taken notice of it earlier. “Just—when? How? Where? Who else knows?” 

“We don’t have a date or venue set yet, but we wanted you and Mat to be the first to know,” Elise informed you as soon as you took your seats again.

“We have a favour to ask from both of you,” Tito supplied. As soon as he said it, you felt Mat’s hand wrap around your own and the two of you exchanged a brief look during which he squeezed your hand gently, before diverting your attentions back to the soon-to-be newlyweds. 

Newlyweds. The immensity of the word sent a discrete shiver down your spine. 

“I can’t imagine asking this of anyone else: I want you to be my best man,” Tito directed at Mat.

“You shouldn’t even think of asking this of anyone else,” Mat responded immediately, and the two shook hands on it. You couldn’t help but think that if they weren’t as comfortable as they were now, they’d probably hug again, do their typical pats on the back or fist bump as they usually did, but Elise’s head now rested on Tito’s shoulder and Mat’s hand was so warm, so firm atop your own. 

“Be my maid of honour, please?” Elise asked. “I can’t think of anyone more suitable than you and Mat as best man and maid of honour. We’ll return the favour of course,” she added playfully. 

“I’ll hold you to that,” you warned without hesitating because after all, you had no reason to – and you knew Mat would agree with you. 

Although the two of you hadn’t touched on the subject yet, there was an unvoiced knowledge shared between you that eventually, this would also be you. Eventually, Mat would ask you and your heart would grow and your soul would warm, and you would say yes. Yes, yes, yes. 

As you all settled down to hear a replay of how Tito popped the question and Elise accepted the ring, Mat’s thumb began caressing the back of your hand. Though the gesture wasn’t a novelty, you couldn’t help but take notice of the way your heart fluttered each time he seemed to linger more on your ring finger. It wasn’t difficult to imagine a ring wrapped around it but neither of you were in a rush: you simply waited for the right time to take your relationship to a point in which it would become a forever thing, fully confident it wasn’t a question of ‘if’ but rather, ‘when’.

*

This was anything but the right time. 

You frown as you cast a glance down at the phone resting on your lap, eyes narrowing a little at the name which brought the display to life for the second time in the space of less than a minute. You click the side button twice, silencing the vibrations of it and from your side, your colleague leans in to whisper to you. 

“You can take it if it’s urgent. I’ll fill you in afterwards.”

“Thanks,” you whisper back. “I think it can wait until the meeting wraps up though.” 

Luke gives you a well, if you’re sure look as he leaned back in his chair and you flash him a grateful smile. 

Still, it is difficult for you to settle comfortably in your seat again and much to your chagrin, you find yourself crossing and uncrossing your legs as if the call had sent some sort of signal to your entire body kickstarting jitteriness you can honestly do without. Not long after you find some comfort and energy to draw yourself back to the present, your phone buzzes again – only once this time, indicating a message. 

I’m waiting for you in the lobby.

Fuck, you curse inwardly, locking the phone in frustration. As quietly as you can, you gather your notebook and work tablet then lean in towards Luke who met you halfway. “Have to run but let me know if I miss anything important.”

“At the current rate, I wouldn’t count much on it but will do anyway,” he states as quietly as he can and the two of you exchange sly, conspiratorial smiles before you excuse yourself quickly and very quietly while making a swift exit. 

Internally, a string of curses follow without a break in between, and you have to physically bite down on your lip out of sheer fear one might unconsciously slip out. If anyone would be in your shoes, though, they wouldn’t blame you for it. You are the type of person to stick closely to any plans and agreements made, so the fact that he just chose to turn up so unexpectedly doesn’t sit right with you. Not anymore, that is. Besides, you had both agreed to do this after your workday ended as opposed to midday and definitely not in this place. Now, you have to brace yourself for coping with a foul mood on top of whatever else the rest of the day would throw at you. 

“You’ve got a visitor,” Rachel announces quietly in a sing-song voice from behind the reception desk as you approach. She doesn’t bother masking the giddiness in her tone and you struggle to work up as genuine of a smile as you can when she nods her head towards the waiting area.

“Thanks, Rach.”

“Bet he must be so happy your redeployment to the Baltimore offices was cut short so quickly,” she coos. 

“Sure is. We’re still on for tonight?” you ask quickly in an attempt to drive attention away from the subject before she can try to lead into it too far for your own comfort at the moment. 

Rachel’s smile falters a little, her expression somewhat quizzical. “Don’t you want to postpone so you could spend some time with him? You only just got back yesterday, after all.” 

You swallow uncomfortably before shrugging. “We’ve got plenty of time to do that. So tonight, okay? I’ll catch you later.” 

“Your call. See you then, Y/N!”

You only had just a split second to brace yourself for what is ahead of you, so you draw in a breath then slowly exhale it as discreetly as you can while cutting your way across the lobby. Since agreeing to this meeting, you prepared yourself as best as you could, imagining every single scenario and devising the appropriate plan for it: from the way you presented yourself to what you said, you had a mental plan for everything including a few backups just in case. The only thing you hadn’t factored in, apparently, was how little was under your control and you hated that. Each step you take made you feel less and less prepared for what is ahead, and the thought rattles you. If you were swift enough on your feet, you could just about make a quick turn and dip into the hallway leading to the visitor restrooms. All you need is just a few more seconds. A little alone time for you to run over your lines in your head. 

Except—

Mat looks up at the same time you take a step sideways, ready to bolt towards temporary safety. His eyebrows rise a little as if surprised by the sight of you, but you refuse to appear outwardly deflated by the turn of events. Instead, you square your shoulders, tip your head back a little and arch an eyebrow. You can do this. You note he is dressed casually, and his hair is pushed back underneath a black cap. 

Unless there was a change in schedule, Thursdays were scrimmage days. 

Your jaw clenches ever so slightly as you recall that with so much ease. Then again, you basically built up a collection of information that was practically helpful or useful to exactly no one over the course of the past few years. It’ll probably take just as much or maybe more to replace that with something different, so you try cutting yourself some slack whenever you are willing to.

“I thought we agreed on five thirty,” you state coolly, pitching your voice at just the right tone to also express surprise.

Mat pushes up from the armchair, returning whatever magazine he’d picked up back on the nearby glass table. “Sorry, I tried calling earlier this morning to ask if we can reschedule but it went straight to voicemail.” 

Oh. You mentally curse yourself for not charging your phone as soon as you made it home from the airport the previous night or bothering to check the voicemail message you’d been notified of once it did begin charging earlier this morning at your desk.

“They rescheduled the viewing of the new arena for this evening, and I was in the area, so I thought I’ll drop by just in case,” Mat continues, throwing a cursory glance around the place though to you, it seemed more like a way of having a break from the eye contact. You don’t complain; you welcome that. 

You open your mouth, ready to berate his poor timing but even you could admit you carry some fault here too. Only a little. You bite down lightly on the tip of your tongue, before nodding towards the seats though you didn’t wait for Mat; you sit, deciding he could make up his own mind if he wanted to follow or not. 

“How was Baltimore?” he asks after a few moments of awkward silence while settling in the same armchair he previously occupied. 

“Mat,” you say, hoping it comes across as more of a warning than a plea. You can’t deal with small talk and a part of you thinks that’d make the entire deal even more difficult to go through with. He presses his lips together into a thin line and you take that as your sign to continue. “Elise told me she’d like us to be at the venue a day in advance of the rehearsal dinner if we can. I’ve already arranged my leave for that, so it’s not a problem for me. I’m planning on making my way there sometime tomorrow afternoon.” 

“We can go together then. I can pick you up after work.” 

“There’s no need—”

“Y/N.” The sharpness of his tone catches you off guard and you can swear Mat was equally surprised by that, though only for the briefest of moments. He slides forward a little in the seat almost as if he is more than ready to leave but Mat has  never been one to back down so easily and you doubt any of that changed during the course of the past three months or so. “You were the one who insisted we go through with this and I’m trying. I really am, but you’re not giving me anything to work with. So please. Let’s just put everything to the side, do what we need to do and then it’s done.” 

Done. Like it is a task, like it is something you needed to cross off a to-do list, scrunch it up then trash it.  

The finality of the word is so heavy that it feels as if it had managed to knock out all the air in your lungs. You and Mat were running headfirst towards a fork in the road, and deep down you knew that was truly it. If until now the two of you have been dancing around each other, playing pretend as if you were kids living in a world of fantasy, you know that eventually, you have to let light shine on the truth: whatever lay ahead, you and Mat could no longer walk the same paths. It is just a matter of admitting it not only to yourselves, but also to the people you were lying to. 

Lying for, you prefer. 

Defeated, you slump in your own seat a little, legs crossing and fingers tapping lightly against the back of your notebook. “Be at my place by two. I’ll have everything that I need ready the night before so we won’t need to wait around.” A pause, and then, “how’s Tito?” 

Mat lifts a shoulder in a casual shrug. “Excited. Nervous. It’s the only thing he talks about in the locker, outside of it, on ice and off ice. How’s Elise?” 

“Same deal with her. I never knew there were so many shades of blue before, but I’ve been proven wrong before.”

A pause follows that could easily be attributed to the group of people rushing into the building and allowing noise from the street outside to filter in while the doors were kept open, but you can tell there is more to it than that if you are to go by the shift in Mat’s expression. His expression changes and you find you can’t quite read into it or guess what could be going on through his head. You try not to focus much on the little voice inside your mind that was bothered by it but find it takes a considerable amount of effort to do so. Force of habit, you conclude. 

“You don’t say,” Mat finally responds. There is a hint of accusation in his tone. Or regret. Maybe both.

Your lips press together firmly, a light frown forming on your face but chose to let that slide. Not only is the lobby of your workplace the least suitable place to have an argument about the two of you, but you find that even those short moments of seeing Mat face to face months after you called it quits appears to take a toll on you. You feel tired, worn out and willing to be the first one to back down for once. 

It is cruel irony that a big red neon EXIT sign is visible from the corner of your eye.

You release a quiet, long sigh then stand up from the seat. “Well, I guess we’re done here? I do have another meeting to prepare for, so…” You trail off, already backing away a few steps.

Mat opens his mouth as if ready to say something else but promptly presses his lips together, deciding against it. He gives a swift nod of his head then stands up. It’s then you notice the two Styrofoam cups in front of him and the neon EXIT sign imprinted in your mind starts flashing temptingly at you. Mat is a step ahead. He holds out one of the cups towards you and you are ready to tell him off for it, but he cut in.

“Thought I wouldn’t drop by empty handed.” When you don’t make a move to accept it, his eyes briefly peek behind you. “Rachel’s all eyes this way, by the way,” he informs you and a brief glance over your shoulder confirms Mat hasn’t been lying.

As soon as you turn to look towards the reception desk, Rachel grins, waves quickly at you then turns back to her computer screen. Begrudgingly, you accept the cup of coffee and force a tight smile. 

“See you soon,” you say by way of greeting and didn’t wait to hear a response from Mat. 

It isn’t until you scan your pass to cross the security barriers and make a turn out of sight that you take a sip from the drink and almost immediately wish you didn’t. It’s your order to a T. The two of you even brought a coffee machine that would let you replicate it on days when you didn’t feel like leaving the comforts of your apartment, especially days when Mat didn’t need to get up early for practices or scrimmages or evening games. It stayed with Mat when you left and the memory left a bitter taste in your mouth, despite the gentle sweetness of the beverage. 

Without thinking twice, you throw the cup in the nearest trash can. 

*

As soon as your order is set on the table, you ignore the basket of fries and reach straight for your glass to take a long sip from the straw, letting out a content sigh as soon as you felt satiated enough.

“Long day,” you state in response to Rachel’s raised eyebrows but she seems to accept that by raising her own glass. You clink yours against hers, take a smaller sip then set it back down on the table. “What time do you think you’ll make it over to the hotel?” 

“Well, I was thinking of trying to get there by midday on the day of the rehearsal dinner but it’s starting to look more like late afternoon. I’m…” She trails off, and you can just about pick up on her hesitation and the way her gaze shifts over to the side momentarily as if avoiding something or considering whether to continue that. You move in your seat, peeling your back away from the plush backrest to lean in a little closer.

“You’re…” you trail off, voice peaking just a little into a question in an attempt to prompt her to continue.

Rachel takes a deep breath in, shoulders visibly drooping and when she looked back at you, she did so with a look that could only reflect…shame? Embarrassment? 

“Luke and I are sort of thinking of coming along together.” At the sight of your widened eyes, she quickly adds, “just as friends! We’re still working out through a few things and we’re taking it slow. As in, much, much slower than the first time around.”

“No way! That’s… Rach, that’s so good. I’m happy for you both, seriously.” 

You find that you truly believed that, though it wasn’t a surprise to you. You had introduced Rachel to Luke while she visited you in Baltimore and at the time, he worked with you there also. Initially, you didn’t think much of it - you simply invited her to come along to a few after work drinks and the two kicked it off easily that night. Very easily apparently, because as the night started coming to an end, Rachel prompted you to go ahead without her. Ready to say you weren’t going to leave her own her own, you shortly found out exactly why: you watched with plenty of amusement and fascination as she and Luke climbed into a taxi together and whizzed off to his place, undoubtedly. That was pretty much their start and continuation. Her visits to Baltimore were more frequent and though you were seeing her often enough, it definitely wasn’t as much as Luke saw of her. And you were fine with that. They fit almost perfectly and it only took a few more meetings for them to label themselves as a couple. 

Things began crumbling as soon as Luke had moved to the New York office just a few weeks before your own return. While he seemed fine with the idea of Rachel working in the same place, that wasn’t also her take on things.

“It’s weird,” she told you through the phone. “It just… It’s so weird. I’d be seeing him at my place or his and in the office? No thanks. That’s way too much for me, you know?” 

It made sense, of course, and though you rooted for them, you didn’t want to push her into something she wasn’t comfortable with. Yet, there was a tremble to her voice, a sort of uncertainty that made you think otherwise. It wasn’t that Rachel didn’t have any feelings for him - maybe she was simply shocked to see him walk through those glass doors one morning to pick up his brand new ID and claim what would soon become his permanent desk across from yours. 

“Thanks,” she tells you, pulling you back into the present. “But like I said, slow and easy does it. We’ve been talking more and that makes a huge difference.” 

“For sure. If communication isn’t the backbone of a relationship, I don’t know what is,” you agree and wasn’t that ironic? You’re hardly in the position of giving any relationship advice at all or saying what is good for one and what isn’t. Not anymore. Not when your own had fallen apart. 

Rachel grins. “You’d know. You and Mat have been together for… how long now?” 

You should’ve seen it coming a mile away. You swallow uncomfortably, take another sip of your drink and take a few fries just to buy yourself a little more time. “Maybe four years? Don’t really keep track of that anymore,” you said as casually as you could muster, lifting your shoulders in a shrug. 

“I think I’d stop doing that eventually too at the rate you two are going. Honestly, I would’ve bet anything you would’ve been the first to tie the knot. Actually, thinking about it,” she says, clicking her fingers in recollection, “Elise said the same thing to me the other day when we caught up on the phone. She went—“

You don’t really register her words. There is a low ringing in your ears and an uncomfortable draft sweeps in the locale as the entrance door somewhere behind you is being kept open, no doubt a large group making their way in; it sends shivers down your body, but really, you are pretty sure you can’t only attribute them to a brief gust of wind. After all, your sweater is keeping you sufficiently cosy and warm. In front of you, Rachel continues praising your relationship with Mat, talking about how anyone took a look at you both and would say, whatever they have going, I want it too and you are trying so, so hard to block out as much as you can of it. You can stop her, of course; distract her with whatever random topic and you know she’d go with it but your jaw is locked in place, teeth clenched uncomfortably. You blame that and the way your nails dig into the palms of your hands on the sting behind your eyes and the sudden heaviness weighting down on your chest. 

It isn’t so much the pain of your relationship ending that was rendering you in a state of daze, but the shame of what you and Mat agreed to do: pretend the two of you were still the happy couple Elise, Tito and everyone else thought of you as just to not spoil whatever luck they thought you’d be passing on to them by being their main witnesses. And then, once the event passes and they would return to New York from the honeymoon you and Mat would soon gift to them on their wedding day, you’d tell them the truth. Or part of it anyway. Definitely no mentions that the two of you were childish enough to play pretend; just a simple, clean break timed just perfectly with your request to be permanently redeployed elsewhere. Preferably, as far from New York City as possible so that you no longer have to walk the streets you once both did or yearn to once again visit that perfect pie place the two of you once dubbed your own.

“We’re not together anymore.”

The words stumble out of your mouth in a desperate now or never manner. Despite the anxiousness that came with the act, you find relief in it also. It feels freeing to be able to admit the truth to someone that isn’t only yourself though perhaps you should’ve thought of this more carefully: the idea of now needing to come fully clean to Rachel is somewhat daunting, mostly because of what she might say in response to the front you and Mat are trying to uphold. But for the first time in what feels like too long, you no longer feel like a fraud; like a person lying to everyone around them.

“Wait.” Rachel frowns, and it was obvious she doesn’t quite know what to do with that information or how to best process it. Her head tilts a little, palm idly rubbing against the side of her neck so you take the initiative to come across as unbothered by this as possible by leaning into the seat, legs crossing as you fiddled with the drink’s straw. “What? I’m confused. Didn’t Mat just drop by earlier? You two seemed okay. He was…fine when he came in. We didn’t talk much, sure, but he was all smiley and just…normal.” 

You laugh quietly and shortly. “It’s been a while now. Maybe two or three weeks before I left for Baltimore, I think. It’d be pretty worrying if he was still hung up about it. After all, we both agreed on it. And this,” you add, a little more disheartened and embarrassed. “This…thing we’re doing. We promised Tito and Elise we’ll be there for them on their big day and we will. But they had this… I guess, idea of us being an ideal couple. Whatever that is,” you continue more quietly and with a roll of your eyes. “He wanted to tell Tito, but I didn’t want to spoil Elise’s day, you know? So he agreed. Took some convincing because it feels so… Gosh, it sounds so stupid, doesn’t it? Pretending we’re still together just to spread some fake cheer around.” 

“Oh, honey…” Rachel whispers and you read the sympathy in her voice. Not that she makes it particularly difficult to take note of. “But… I thought everything was okay. Actually, way more than okay. Perfect, even. What…uh—“ She trailed off awkwardly, but you could easily fill in that gap.

What happened?

You bring the beverage to your mouth, this time drinking from the glass directly as opposed to using the straw. The mixer stings your throat this time around but the small ice cube you take into your mouth numbs it away pretty quickly. Slowly, you chew it to small pieces and speak only when you finish it.

“I thought long and hard about this the first few weeks after we called it quits,” you admit. “We always talked about what bothered us or if there was something on our mind, but at one point we just… We stopped wanting to compromise. When I was put forward for Baltimore, it was going to be a permanent thing. Mat was happy, sure, but I could tell he wasn’t being entirely honest with me, you know? When I called him out on it, he asked me well what about us? And I said we’d be fine. Baltimore isn’t a different continent. It’s not even a different timezone. He could come over when he had free time and if he didn’t, I’d always spend weekends in New York anyway. It’s Baltimore, Rach. Not fucking San Francisco or whatever. Eventually, he told me exactly what was on his mind: he couldn’t do long distance. Not even for a short period of time while I figured out if Baltimore is really what I wanted. Isn’t it a bit hypocritical, though?” You question, but it’s clear Rachel feels a bit awkward about giving her take on it right now, so you make it easier for her by responding to your own question. “I felt lonely too when he was on the road. I was worried he’d find someone different, someone much better while away. He never gave me a reason to doubt him, but a small part of me still thought what if. This happened right before he was on the road again, actually. We didn’t call, barely even texted those weeks and then when he returned, we decided it’d be best to break up. Didn’t take us a long discussion to get to that conclusion because at that point, it just… I don’t know. It felt like we didn’t have much to say to each other.”

Rachel presses her lips together, the frown still on her face and hesitantly, she asks, “who said it first?”

“I did,” you respond without hesitating. “He wanted a break while we work it all out but come on, Rach, a break? Look me in the eyes and tell me people really believe in breaks and they come back to each other as if nothing happened.” 

“I mean…” she trails off, pointing at herself by way of explanation. “Look at me and Luke, I guess.”

You shake your head. “Nope. Not the same thing, trust me. This was for the best, Rach. It’s much neater to call it quits. That way, neither of us will feel obliged to hold back if life puts something different ahead of us.” You pause for a moment, teeth biting into your lower lip. “They said they’ll always have me back there if I decide on it, so who knows. Once I wrap up the project their called me back for, I might just take them up on it. Not quite a promotion, but it’ll be a good sidestep and maybe a change of scenery is what I need.”

“And do you think it’s good? What the two of you are doing right now?” Rachel questions, not at all deterred by your weak attempt at trying to divert conversation to a more work related topic. “And I don’t mean it just for Elise and Tito’s wedding, but for you and Mat generally speaking. I mean… the two of you have been together for a pretty long time. Doesn’t it… Isn’t it odd?” 

“It’s not normal, that’s for sure,” you confirm. “But it’d be weirder for everyone if we were to tell them we’re no longer together given we’ve been asked to do what we need to do. Rach, promise me this stays between us, okay? Promise. I know how it sounds, I know how it’ll look but trust me on this, okay?” 

She fixes you with a sceptical stare, a look that holds yet more questions than certainty but eventually, she nods her head and relief washes over you at the gesture. “I’m sorry it happened, Y/N,” she offers, voice warm and sympathetic as she places a hand on the table palm up. “And I’m sorry you went through it alone.”

You smile softly and reach for it, returning the squeeze she gives you. There is comfort in the gesture, comfort in her words and you find yourself rooting for it, so grateful to have received it. “The worst part is over, but thank you, Rachel. “It means a lot.”

“Feel like carpooling with Luke and I?”

“I’m good,” you assure as you both relax back into your seats. “Elise wants us there the day before the rehearsal. I guess just to have some familiar faces around that aren’t just wedding planners, so Mat and I agreed to go together tomorrow. Promise I won’t lose my shit if our song plays on the radio,” you add jokingly and find yourself laughing along with Rachel. 

“What song’s that?” 

Too many, you think, although one in particular stands out to you. “Brett Young’s In Case You Didn’t Know.”

*

A tray containing an assortment of dishes is set on the table and shortly after, an ice cold pitch of sangria accompanies that. Eager to cool down, you reach for one of the empty glasses to pour yourself a drink but Mat’s quicker. He takes them both, filling your glass first before his own. You laugh to yourself and Mat grins at that, briefly looking towards you as he fills his glass. You’re about to take a sip, eager to both quench your thirst and cool down but Mat takes the initiative of initiating a toast by raising his glass a little, elbow resting on the table. 

“What’re we toasting for tonight?” You ask, imitating his pose by leaning forward a little. “To our first holiday together? To how perfect the weather’s been so far? To how I mastered paddle boarding way before you did?” 

Mat laughs, lowering his head as he did so but when he looked back up at you, he clinked his glass against yours and held it there. “To all of that. To one of the many, many holidays we’ll have together. To this moment right here, to us, to you.” He pauses and the strobe lights of the bar switch from dark blue to hot pink, and the way Mat stares at you in this moment makes your heart race inexplicably. “To how much I love you.” 

He takes your breath away. Draws it right out of your lungs and you feel heady. It’s the first summer with Mat, the first  I love you from him and it suddenly feels as if this bar is too small for the both of you. You love him, and he loves you too and the only thing you could imagine doing is jumping in his arms but there’s a table between you and sangria topped wine glasses in your hands, and he’s wearing a pristine white shirt that looks incredible against his tanned skinned and there’s a lot of people around (the majority significantly older than both your age and Mat’s combined) so you simply grin and carefully lean forward more, pressing a kiss to his mouth. 

“I love you,” you murmur against his lips and even if your voice is low compared to the loud, cheesy country music blasting through hidden stereos, you know Mat catches on to that. 

“I love you,” he says right back and before you pull away, he bumps his nose against yours gently, making you giggle.

You both take a sip of your drinks and you smack your lips together, content with the turn of the night. 

You and Mat had been dating for a few months, but this was the first time the two of you will spend back to back nights and days together without needing to rush somewhere. Of course, a part of you was anxious about it - while it was easy to spend a few hours together now and then, maybe even the odd night together, it was entirely different being together pretty much all the time. There were habits and quirks you each had that might get in the way, but your worries were soon put to rest. You and Mat had wonderful chemistry together, easily able to spend your time together but also still enjoy each other’s company while doing separate activities. You didn’t want to rush into things and you made no move to do so, but it was ever so easy to imagine what living with Mat would be like. And sure, you were well aware of the fact that it wouldn’t always be sunshine and rainbows; the two of you would eventually transition out of this honeymoon-type period of your relationship, but something told you life would Mat would never bore you. It’d never make you wish for anything different. 

“Give me a second,” Mat says and before you could ask him what he meant, he’s out of his seat and you follow him across the bar, a little confused. 

He makes his way past the bar, past the pool tables and stops in front of what is undoubtedly a jukebox. Curious, you arch an eyebrow and watch as he fiddles with finding the right amount of change before inserting the coins in the slot. It takes him a while before he finds whatever song it is he wants and it takes enough time for him to make it back to your table before the jukebox and sound system registers the request. You don’t recognise the first few notes at all, much less the accompanying guitar strings but you don’t have time to search your memory for a title. 

Mat stops by your side, holding a hand out to you. “Dance with me.” It’s more statement than question and under any circumstances, you may have felt a little awkward about doing this, but it’s the heat of the moment and your giddiness that pushes you to your feet, hand in Mat’s. 

The two of you are beaten to an emptier area in the establishment by two other much older couples that were closer to it anyway, and you find that gives you a bit more of a boost also. Mat pulls you to him, wrapping one arm around your waist while holding on to your free hand while you hold on to his shoulder with the other. Your fingers lightly clench and unclench the soft material of his shirt, lowering your head a little and you smile against the back of your hand. It’s so painfully cheesy and there’s nowhere near enough other people dancing along to the song but you love it much more than you thought you ever would. 

“Know what I’d invest all my money into?” He asks you suddenly.

You pull back a little, still swaying along with the song. “Cryptocurrency seems like a safe bet right now.” 

Mat laughs, that big hearty laugh of his that makes your smile wider and when it passes, he presses a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Well, I’m glad one of us has a good head on their shoulders, but no.” He shakes his head, then laughs again, shorter and quieter as if recalling your response. “A time machine. I want to stop time right here and right now so that we can be as we are for a little while longer.”

“Cheesy,” you joke, despite the warmth coursing across your entire body and the jelly-like feeling forming in your knees. “But perfectly understandable.”

“Eventually, we wouldn’t need it, but it’d be nice to have one for tonight.”

“Eventually? How so?” You question, then narrow your eyes a little, the gesture playful. “You plan on getting bored of me and breaking up?” 

“What!” He exclaims and pulls you in just that much closer. He lets go of your hand only so he could bring his to your chin, tipping your head back a little. “Never,” kiss, “say that,” kiss, “again.” The final kiss you share with him is a little longer and you take the liberty of bringing your hand to his chest, palm pressing against it to feel the thump of his heart against his ribcage momentarily. Then, slowly, you graze the tips of your nails along his exposed collarbone and peck his lips once more before pulling away. It’s then that the song’s name and artist comes to your mind, almost as an afterthought. From hidden speakers, Brett Young declares I couldn’t live life without you and Mat gives you a pointed stare. “Damn, he said it before I could.” 

“It’s the thought that counts,” you assure him. “Either way, I think I prefer hearing it from you, Barzal.” 

“I’m pretty sure I couldn’t live without you,” he recites and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. He sways you both in a more exaggerated manner that makes you cling to him more out of habit than necessity. You’ve known you’d trust Mat with anything, but each day, he seems to do something that makes that thought solidify more and more in your mind. The comfort and safety that brings wraps around you like a warm blanket.

Be it the hot weather, the somewhat stifling interior of the bar, the sips of sangria on an empty stomach, the euphoria of the moment or all things combined, you nod quickly. And from somewhere in the depths of your mind, the very bottom of your heart, you respond with, “I can get used to this day after day. So don’t let me go, baby.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he whispers, tone full of care and love and warmth. He gives you his promise without hesitation and you know it’s bound to stick.

*

Your phone buzzes once. 

I’m downstairs. Need help with your bags?

You push up from the comfort of your couch and make one last round of your apartment to make sure you had everything you definitely needed from where it was placed. 

I’m good. Will be down in a minute, you text back but don’t pocket your phone right away. Instead, you stare at the screen for a little while longer, half tempted to scroll through the thread of messages. They’d provide a stark timeline of when things started going wrong and you would probably be able to see exactly how things changed between the two of you from the moment you suggested a mere break wouldn’t do it. But doing that would be like breaking a streak you had going for sufficient time to earn a pat on your back. The journey of getting to a point where you were sufficiently okay with being in Mat’s presence without any other company was a long one and the last thing you needed was to recall how it once was. 

You and Mat started out as friends after Elise introduced the two of you just a short while before he started his professional career with the Islanders. She talked about how the two of them met in school and how great of a guy he was; real down to earth, funny and incredibly ambitious - traits she also assigned to you, and therefore thought the two of you would get along great. She wasn’t wrong about it. You knew a little about hockey, going to games every now and then mostly whenever Elise dragged you along but you found that Mat made the game more enjoyable. He explained it to you in a manner that didn’t make you feel belittled or as if it should be something you already knew of, and didn’t mind explaining some things more than once. On the other hand, you introduced him to your own hobbies and the little world you created for yourself in a city as big and busy as New York. You showed him the more lowkey but homely establishments, including your favourite pizza place that - unbeknown to you at the time - would become yours and his, and even took him to a few student bars where you regularly beat him at pool while he showed off at darts. Occasionally, it felt weird to watch him unwind in such…normal places and ways while on other days, he shone on ice and was easily one of the best rookies emerging from one of the country’s most well known sports leagues. Yet despite that, you found that athlete Mat wasn’t all that different from Mat the person.

He never put a front and his genuine manner was refreshing to you, particularly during a time when you were still a college student and a good portion of the guys around were textbook frat boys. Being around Mat was comfortable and safe. You didn’t feel the need to speak a certain way or be a different person, and retrospectively, the way you felt towards him developed almost organically. You felt yourself gravitating towards him and were pleasantly surprised by the moments when he’d seek you out first. A day off here and a day off there until eventually, you found yourself spending much of your free time with him and vice-versa. 

Falling in love with Mat was easy. Being without Mat was difficult. But, thankfully, not impossible apparently. 

Convinced you packed everything you needed, made your way out with a duffle bag on your shoulder and a suitcase at your heels. 

True to his word, Mat was parked in front of your place and as soon as you pushed open the building’s door, he looked up from his phone and made his way over to you. The last thing you needed was to make the journey any more awkward or difficult for the both of you, so you didn’t argue when he took the bags from you to stow them away in the trunk. 

“Are you going across the country?” You ask, peeking into the trunk while he plays Tetris with the bags. 

“What?” He questions, evidently distracted by the task at hand but straightens up when you delicately place a hand on his arm, pushing him to the side a little. 

“You’d think you’re going across the country for like, two or three weeks rather than a couple of days,” you repeat. “Maybe put that smaller bag sideways? That might let the bigger suitcase fit.” 

He follows your guidance and sure enough, that does the trick: the suitcases fit perfectly in the trunk and you grin to yourself, triumphant. 

Mat steps back, closing the trunk and brushes his hands together. “Thanks,” he says and you nod, heading towards your seat in the front. He follows you inside just as you click in your seatbelt. “I don’t think it’ll take us more than two or three hours to get there if traffic’s as good as it was when I checked it a little while earlier. Got everything?” 

“Everything important that is. Everything else, I’ll just worry about and pull my hair out when we get there,” you tell him and you can’t help feeling proud for being able to keep conversation light and as normal as you can. 

After all, you’ve known life before Mat and you’re rediscovering it after him too. 

Mat laughs ever so quiet, and from the corner of your eye, you catch him brushing his hand across his mouth though he’s a few seconds too slow in trying to mask his smile. 

“I think I’ll need to fill up soon, but let me know if there’s anywhere else you want to stop along the way,” he tells you while pulling out of the parking spot. 

You nod even if he probably might not see it and take the liberty to scroll through radio stations. Mat doesn’t seem to be against it, so you continue switching to them until, a little frustrating that nothing seems to work for you, you connect your phone to the car and play one of your playlists. A mix of upbeat pop and an assortment of viral tracks fill in the silence for a while, and the act of singing along in your head takes your mind away from how it almost feels as if you’re sitting on needles. It takes a conscious effort on your behalf to remind yourself to loosen your shoulders and stop fiddling too much with your hands, and you’re glad Mat seems to be plenty preoccupied with driving. Once upon a time, he would’ve immediately picked up on even the most mild of your discomforts and tried to do anything he could to alleviate them. You don’t know how much, if at all, Mat changed during the time you spent apart but you want to think that you no longer wear your heart on your sleeve as much and your emotions are much more guarded, especially in his presence. 

Apparently, though, there’s only so much he can take with silence filled in by music because once he’s off busier streets, he leans in his seat more comfortably and you can tell he very briefly turns his head towards you. “Think they’ll like their wedding gift?” 

You direct your gaze away from the flashing scenery outside to Mat. “Absolutely. Who wouldn’t like it? Trust me when I say Bali’s been a place Elise always wanted to visit and I can’t think of a better time than now,” you assure him.

“If they don’t, it’s on you,” he says and it takes you a beat longer to realise he’s just joking so you huff out a laugh, relaxing back in the seat. 

“If they don’t, they can give one of the tickets to me and I’ll happily go there.” You cast a glare out at the scenery ahead, eyes narrowing upwards towards the overcast sky. “I don’t think summer will ever come at this rate. I’m starting to hate it here.”

“Doubt Baltimore was any better,” Mat points out.

“Hardly,” you sigh. “Maybe I’ll ask them to send me to Miami instead. That’d be much better.” 

Mat clears his throat quickly, shifting a little. “So, are you planning on going back to Baltimore or... Why are you back?” You catch sight of the frown forming on his face, and he quickly shakes his head as if trying to rid the hint of accusation from his voice. “That sounded wrong, sorry. But just genuinely curious. I thought a permanent move was on the table?”

“It was. Still is, but they needed me back here to wrap up a project. It was a pretty bad move on their behalf to send me there before we had that wrapped up nice and neat, bow and all, but I guess…” You trail off, shrugging a shoulder. “Guess we’ll see what’s next after that. They do want me back there, though. It just depends how long it takes for things here to fall into place.” 

“Fair enough.” Another pause, another moment for him to press his lips together in silent deliberation. He did that often, and you wonder if that remains a habit still. “Was it a promotion? I forgot, sorry.” 

“All good,” you assure, brushing off the apology. “Not a promotion per se, but a sidestep with just a slightly bigger paycheck. The office there is a bit smaller than the New York one so maybe there’s a higher chance of getting promoted sooner, but I don’t want to jump the gun on that yet. How did things work out for you guys this season?” 

The Islanders had a good season, making the playoffs but fell just short of making the semi-finals, you knew that. After all, you hadn’t removed the Islanders game and news alerts from your phone and you put that on your laziness. You wouldn’t shy away from admitting to him you still followed the team’s progression, but you preferred not to. 

“Could’ve been better but there’s lots to learn from it,” Mat tells you and there’s a trace of excitement and determination in his voice. “Next season will be even better, I guarantee.” 

It’s a staple Mat response, one he always gave if he felt a game didn’t end in their favour or he didn’t do as much as he thought he should have. Sometimes, it took him some time to accept it. Usually, it came to him after pushing himself in training, after going that extra step in the gym, after re-watching highlights or coach videos and always - always, you’d assure him that it takes a team to move forward, not a single person. Always, he’d kiss you and tell you he loves you and always, you’d spend those moments wrapped up in each other’s arms, more often than not with Mat’s head resting against your chest and your leg slung around his hip. 

“Plenty of time to lift that cup, Barzal,” you assure him. “Sure, the sooner the better but there’s always a right time for everything.”

“I hope so,” he agrees pensively, and lingers on that thought. 

You let him to it, directing your attention back to the view outside and only now and then picking up your phone either to switch songs or browse through a few applications. A part of you feels almost obliged to try and push for conversation but you avoid doing so. The last thing you need is to make it painfully awkward for the two of you and you figure Mat could always do that himself if he feels like it. So, you let your mind wander to better things - to the upcoming rehearsal and the wedding itself, to how good Elise will look and how Tito will be so proud to watch her walk the aisle towards him. You imagine their reaction to the gift you and Mat contributed towards and smiled to yourself, knowing it was a perfect pick for them both. 

You don’t think about telling Elise you and Mat had lied to them. You don’t think about passing this hurdle - the final one before you two will become strangers to one another. You don’t think about how the next time you might both see each other again, you’ll both have such different lives that for a brief moment, the surprise of it will knock the air out of your lungs before you remember: that’s him without me, and this is me without him. And you won’t be the first or the last people to break up, but a part of you is certain what the two of you had was unique and could’ve been grand. So much grander.

You become more alert to your surroundings when he starts slowing the car and you notice you’re pulling up into a gas station. As much as space allows you, you stretch out a little and Mat stops right by one of the pumps.

“Want something for the road?” You ask him, unplugging your phone and taking your card from your bag. 

“Hold on, I’ll come with you,” Mat tells you and it doesn’t take long for the refill to happen before you both walk into the station’s store, beelining for the snack aisles even if you have only two hours or so until you reach your destination. 

“Oh gosh, those are going to be a nightmare to clean up if you spill any in the car,” you groan quietly as he browses through the variety of Nerds flavours. 

“But they’re so good though,” he shoots back and flashes a smile that is nothing short of sly when he picks up two boxes instead of one. 

“Yeah, until the flavour runs out literally two seconds after you put them in your mouth. I mean, enjoy that but I’m different,” you boast and pick up a bag of sour candy. 

“You just like obliterating your taste buds.” 

He’s not wrong. Sour candy and spicy foods are your guilty pleasures, and have been for the longest time. You don’t try to look into how easily he recalls that because, you tell yourself, there’s nothing to look into. It’s a mere fact that anyone who knows you would easily recite. 

“You’re wrong and you know it, but admitting that is difficult so it’s fine, Barzal. No hard feelings,” you throw back, snickering as you head over to the fridges for a bottle of cold water. Instinctively, you grab another for him and instinctively, he takes your candy and the water to pay for them but you still tag along with him in the queue. 

“No shot. I like some spice but to the point where I literally can’t taste anything else? Hey, remember that one time when you made something… Can’t remember what it was but it was so…” He purses his lips and you laugh because yes, yes you remember it so clearly. 

“So good you ended up crying over it?” You offer. 

“More like, I wasn’t crying but it was so fucking spicy, Y/N, holy.” 

“You survived though, didn’t you?”

“I only did because there isn’t a thing you do I don’t like,” he says and then, seems to catch himself but a second too late. “Didn’t like,” he corrects quietly but the damage is done. 

You swallow uncomfortably, directing your gaze away from him but don’t hesitate to nod towards the outside. “I’ll head over to the car. I’ll text Elise to tell her we’re close.” 

“Y/N—“ 

But you’re already taking steps towards the exit and out of ear shot, making a beeline for the car. Your heart thumps rapidly and uncomfortable in your chest and find that pressing a palm to your left side doesn’t make it any better. You know it’s an innocent mistake and there are some habits that die hard, but the way he phrased it triggered your fight or flight instinct instantaneously and despite yourself, you leaned towards the latter. You enter the car and take the time to compose yourself as much as you could. The last thing you need is to have a conversation with Mat about this because you didn’t want to have it - it shouldn’t happen for the sake of avoiding making the situation even more uncomfortable. It was an innocent slip up, no doubt, and you should’ve braced yourself to speak of Mat in present tense as opposed to past tense in the presence of others but it comes to you harder than imagined. 

It’s odd how you both once knew so much about each other, everything even, and now the two of you are reduced to dancing around all that and making conscious efforts to keep your conversations as short and banal as possible. 

You try and busy yourself with formulating a message to Ellie, one that’s long enough to try and make you seem as busy as possible by the time Mat returns to the car, but every line you wrote, every mini paragraph going into dull details about the trip and where you guys currently are seemed like an overthrow. So, you delete that also and simply text her an OTW just as Mat sets the sweets on the centre console and the bottles in the cup holders. 

He doesn’t start the engine immediately and your mood quickly switches to frustration. Sure, you hadn’t handled it in the best way possible but trying to have a conversation about it wouldn’t make it any better. Or at least, it’s just something you didn’t want to have to think about for the remainder of the journey. 

But he does just that, because that is what Mat always did: he talked with you.

“I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable,” he begins, “I didn’t mean for it to come out the way it did. It’s force of habit more than anything else.”

“It’s whatever, Mat, so just move past it. I did, simple as that,” you tell him neutrally. 

There’s something in that response he must have not liked because you pick up on his small huff and shortly after, the car starts and you’re both on the road again. This time, with silence between you and an atmosphere so heavy it makes you wish you weren’t speeding down an Interstate just so you could open the window and let some of the air in.

-

The hotel the wedding will be held at lies in front of you, sprawling and secluded and perfect for an event like this. Tito is already at the entrance and when he spots Mat’s car, he waves quickly while Mat quickly flashes the headlights before pulling into an available parking spot.

“There they are!” Tito says by way of greeting and you walk right into his outstretched arms, hugging him. “Can’t believe so much time passed since we last saw each other. What is it, two months? Three?” 

“Three,” you confirm once you pull away so that Mat could hug him also. “It’s good to see you too. Where’s Elise?” 

“She wanted to check on some small details and said she’ll meet up with you guys in a bit. So here I am, the welcoming committee,” Tito explained and when he and Mat stepped apart, he reached out to give you another short hug which you accepted. “So how was Baltimore? Don’t suppose you liked it all that much if you’re back so soon. This guy was happy about it,” Tito adds, nodding his head towards Mat who was already busy emptying the trunk. 

You press your lips together, displaying a small smile. “Baltimore wasn’t too bad but they missed me here, apparently. Can’t complete a damn thing without my two cents so here I am for now.”

Tito frowns, but the expression is very brief. “For now? We’ll need to talk more about that later so Barzy doesn’t mope around as much as he did back then.”

You throw a quick glance towards Mat but he’s looking away towards whatever interesting spot on the ground he found, pointedly ignoring you. “I’ll have a word with him about it later,” you tell Tito lightly and together, the three of you make your way inside, towards the reception. 

“I think Elise is in the room at the end of the corridor if you want to say hi,” Tito informs you and you jump at the opportunity. 

You follow the corridor, making a right turn and continuing along the dimly lit hallway leading to what the signs informed you to be Conference Room 1. The door is slightly ajar and you begin picking up on the buzz of activity coming from within and soon enough, you’re face to face with a spacey room boasting an array of flowers and various arrangements tastefully decorating tables and drooping down from the ceiling. No doubt, the effect will be lovely during the night when colourful neon lights can be turned on. You spot Elise easily: she’s in the midst of the room with what is undoubtedly the scrapbook of ideas she’d been carefully putting together since Tito asked her to marry him. Outwardly, she’s all smiles and laughter but you can imagine the amount of effort and planning putting all of this together and working with planners takes. 

When she spots you, she squeals in excitement, sets her book down and dashes across the room to engulf you in a hug, making you stumble a few steps back. 

You burst into laughter and wrap your arms around her, squeezing her with just enough force to try and communicate how much you missed her but not so that it was uncomfortable. 

“I missed you! You’re here!” She exclaims, stepping back to look at you in disbelief then hugging you again. “Oh my gosh, I’m so happy you’re here! Where’s Mat? Is he here too?”

“Of course he is,” you assure her with a laugh. “I missed you too.” You throw a curious glance towards the room over her shoulder, nodding your head towards it. “How’s it going? Need me to take over for a bit?” 

“Maybe later. Definitely later. Come on.” She wraps an arm around yours and leads the way out of the room, undoubtedly back to the reception area where you left Mat and Tito. “Please tell me Baltimore is off the table. FaceTime is fine, sure, but it’s not great, you know? I need the real deal next to me. Besides, I’m not sure if you heard, but Mat wasn’t Mat without you.”

“So I heard, but forget about us!” You said in a desperate attempt to try and steer attention away from the subject. “Tell me about how everything’s going. Are you still nervous about it? Because trust me, Elise - you have absolutely nothing to be nervous of. What I’ve heard of so far and what I’ve seen will make it the absolute best day, surely.”

“Of course I’m nervous,” she tells you and to demonstrate, she holds her free hand in front of you and sure enough, there’s just a slight tremble to it. “Please lend me some of those nerves of steel of yours, Y/N, I’d do anything to have even a small percentage of them right now.”

“Pft, as if. Those are all show, trust me.” 

“I’ll take even that. Oh, Mat!” She greets as soon as the two of you reach the reception area and Elise spots Mat.

Much like you and Tito, they hug and when she steps back, she immediately stands next to Tito who doesn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. They exchange a quick kiss and you smile at the happiness and bliss they’re clearly surrounded by. 

It’s the slight pressure on your lower back that makes you jolt a little on the spot and it’s then you realise Mat had gently placed his hand there to encourage you a little closer. It takes effort on your behalf to follow his guidance but you move towards him, though you wish you could physically wince at how undoubtedly stiff the two of you must look. Or hopefully, not greatly so because neither Tito nor Elise comment on it or shoot you any funny looks as the four of you engage in brief conversation, mainly surrounding the trip here and any other guests they expect to receive today. 

You don’t hang around much, though. Elise’s phone begins buzzing incessantly and she’s whisked away by the message received, but not before she fixes you with a pointed stare and demands the two of you have drinks later in the evening. Tito follows her also, even if he informs you and Mat that he feels as if he’s running around in the right places only because of Elise and the wedding planners, but you encourage him on by joking he could maybe turn a few candles on the tables this way or that for some extra oomph. 

“I can’t imagine how she does it,” you admit to Mat once the elevator doors slide shut soundlessly and the car begins moving upwards to your floor.

“Pretty sure it’s not that big of a deal to her, given what all this is leading to,” Mat tells you and you detect a hint of detachment in his voice. 

You don’t welcome it, of course you don’t, but you choose to not point that out to him. The last thing you want is an argument to break out the relatively okay mood the two of you have managed to hold, recent events that could be erased from memory aside. Instead, you simply stand back quietly, eyes glued on the red digital numbers aside until they come to a halt on the ninth floor where the elevator stops and you’re both left in a silent, dimly lit hallway. 

Mat has the key to the apartment Elise told you the two of you would be in and just before tapping in, he hands you your own copy of it. Up until this very moment, you hadn’t thought very much of the overnight arrangements. You were pretty sure you meant to ask Elise a bit more about them at some point but both your attention and hers were pulled in different directions and here you were, stepping into your place for the next couple of nights, Mat trailing a little behind you. 

You stop, arms folding across your chest and you feel Mat stop somewhere close behind you, looking into one room.

“I didn’t think this through,” you state neutrally. 

Ahead of you lay only one bed. 

[httphopewrld]

I Don’t Know What to Call This | (f/m/a)

Just Friends? Friends with benefits? Dating? Questions swarmed your mind when one of your dear friends, Allie, asked about you and Hoseok’s relationship. The truth was you didn’t know. You and Hoseok were close, knowing each other since elementary school, and considered each other friends. However, as you two grew older, maturing into separate professions—you a well-known fashion designer, and Hoseok a famous musician and dancer—you two had engaged in some intimate activities (sex—lots of it.) After Allie’s simple question, you had to confront your feelings. But were you and Hoseok ready to be more than close friends and f*ck buddies?

Pairing: friend/lover/bfhoseok! x female reader

Genre: slowburn fluff and SMUT

Rating: 18+ because there’s swearing and pretty detailed smut

Warnings: swearing and SMUT (one of the most detailed smuts I've written, and there's more than one sex scene.) Smut includes: switch!reader and switch!hoseok, grinding and thrusting, protective sex (USE CONDOMS, I cannot stress that enough), lots of kissing, ass-grabbing, dirty talk, a wee bit of choking on both sides, squirting, male and female oral, fingering and handjobs, vibrator use, cyber-sex, the reader uses dildo, slight degradation, and just lots of filth—YOU'RE WELCOME FELLOW FILTHY ANIMALS. Oh, and spoilers for the horror movie Hush. It's on Netflix if you haven't watched it yet. It is GOOD.

  Word Count: 16, 465 (wowie)

A/N: Thank you for waiting! It’s rushed, so expect some little mistakes here an there, but I’m happy with how it turned out. I hope y'all enjoy it! Also, Y/L/N means "your last name."

  Taglist: @kirbykook​ @kleritata​ @taestannie​ @jenotation​ @hemmos-obrien​ @zeharilisharaban​ @speed-of-wind​ @kawaisoraya​

⊱ ────── {⋅. ✯ .⋅} ────── ⊰

“You can move those over there,” you gestured to the left corner of the windowed room, where a pile of boxes waited. The move was going to take longer than you expected because the movers arrived a week later than your assistant, Rachel said. I really need to talk to her about this. You stressed in your mind, rubbing your temples. “Are you okay?” You looked up, vision resuming its focus on your friend, Allie. Allie, your friend for as long as you could remember, offered to help you move to your new building. She would help you manage everything, including the movers, tracking your company's items, and the layout you gave to her for said things while managing the company. “I’m just irritated at Rachel,” you noticed her confusion, “my new assistant.” She nodded, remembering, “Right. Why is she still employed?” “Because she’s new, and being an assistant is a tough feat. She’ll get it soon.” You reassured, “Rachel is a fast learner, and this is her first mistake. We’re prepared for the next show, though, because Westley's helping me organize it.” “Remind me who Westley is?” Allie asked. You sighed. “West is like my second brain. He helps organize the fashion shows, hire the models, find the venues, and secure the guest list. He has other people help him too, but he’s the brains of that. I create the fashion, and he finds a way to present it.” Allie nodded, “Gotcha.” Your phone rang, and you answered. “Y/N.” “Y/N!” Rachel chimed on the other end. “It’s Rachel. I’m so sorry about the mix-up on dates. It won’t happen again, I—” “I know it won’t, Rachel. You’re new, so I expected to slip up. I’ve gotten it taken care of,” you nudged Allie’s arm, and she smiled. “We’re luckily prepared for the next show in Vancouver, so you don’t have to worry about the mess up. All I need you to do now is make sure that my fabrics are coming in.” “Yes! They’ve arrived at the studio.” Rachel replied. "Fantastic. Thank you. That'll be all for now. Check on West if he needs anything." You ordered. “Will do, Y/N. Talk to you soon.” You hung up. The Vancouver show was in five months, giving you and your team enough time to design the clothes for the production and move to the new building. The show's theme was natural bodies of water and nature, a nod to Canada's landscape. The clothing catalogue would include various icy blue shades to represent waterfalls and warm emerald tones like flora and fauna. These colours would be encapsulated in elegant gowns and suits, worn by different body shapes, genders, and colours. The materials would be made from recycled fabrics from your previous shows and from your fellow artists. You were known for designing elegant attire, so it was best to keep to it. However, it was rare to see different sized, coloured, and gendered models on a runway; because of having to customize clothes to those models. Additionally, making clothes from recycled fabrics would be tough. “Okay,” you began, “I need to talk to my design team and plan out the gowns. Can I leave you here to deal with the movers?” Allie gave you a thumbs up. “Thank you,” you smiled, hugging her, “if you need anything, please call me or Rachel, or both. We’ll be back to help.” Before you left, a thought struck you. You turned around to face Allie. “I should just hire you.” She chuckled, “Why?” You scoffed, "Because you're here all the time!" You walked back to her. "Listen, you're the best manager I know. You can be my third brain. You already are, outside of work, so it would make sense." Allie seemed unsure. “I already have my job at Youth and Hope.” You grasped her hands. “You would be given a great wage, not just because you’re my best friend, but because you’re going to be busy with lots of work. You would be handling the management tasks, like West. You’d be given a good amount of vacation, trips for shows and meetings would be paid for—you could get that loft you always wanted downtown.” You wiggled your eyebrows, and Allie laughed. “Don’t I have to go through an interview process?” You brushed a hand through the air. “I can get someone to interview you and officially hire you. Once that’s done, you’ll start getting paid.” You checked your watch, and a quick rush of panic ran through you. “Shit, I’m going to be late. Consider it, alright! Let me know your availability, and we’ll schedule an interview!” “Okay!” She shouted back as you left. . . The coffee had become bitter. You weren’t sure if it was the roast or the fact that this was your fourth cup of the night. It had been a month since the fabrics arrived. Thanks to Allie, your friend and now employee, your move to the new building was complete; however, your designs weren’t translating as smoothly as you wish. "Fuck," you cursed, resting your head in your hands and rubbing your temples. The sketches waited in front of you—the measurements and ideas raking at your confidence. Your designs are redundant. You’ve done something similar last time.                                                                       Boring. Plain. You turned back to your mannequins, still bare. The theme was in your mind, and your design team reassured you that your sketches were fine, but it all felt fuzzy. “Y/N,” Rachel peered into the studio from the door, “there’s a gentleman here to see you.” “His name?” You asked, still looking at the mannequins. You heard footsteps retreat into the front lobby, then come back to the door. “Jung Hoseok?” You turned around, trying to contain your excitement. “Please send him in.” Rachel nodded, jogging back to the lobby. You heard a muffled “thank you” before heavy footsteps approaching your studio. Hoseok reached the doorway, beaming his signature smile. He wore acid-washed jeans, a baggy white sweater that matched his chunky light sneakers. His dark hair was slightly wavy and parted in the middle. A tote bag was slung over his shoulder. “Y/N!” He cheered, opening his arms wide. “Hoseok!” You replied, running into his arms and hugging him tightly. You couldn’t remember the last time you saw Hoseok—a year or two? “Fuck, how long has it been?” You asked him. He pulled away, thinking. “About six months?” Totally off. “Seriously, it felt longer than that.” You argued. Hoseok pulled out his phone and scrolled through his calenderer and photos. He made a ‘tsk’ sound. “Ah, see here,” he showed you a few photos of you two with his friends, who were also his bandmates, “six months ago, you joined us on tour for a couple days before coming back here. I have it also marked in my calendar.” He showed you the dates, which were marked with ‘💚Y/N’s visit💚.’ “Can Namjoon or Yoongi confirm this?” You crossed your arms. Hoseok mimicked your body language. “I can call them right now,” he challenged. You two stood in competitive tension. You succumbed. “You win this time, Jung Hoseok.” He playfully chuckled. You realized that Hoseok doesn’t live around here. “Wait, why are you in town. Shouldn’t you and the others be in Korea planning another album or something?” You speculated. “Our company gave us a month for vacation because we spent most of the year touring.” Hoseok sighed. “So, I decided to come to visit.” You hugged him again, happy to see someone who wasn’t your employee amidst this chaos of stress. “How long are you staying?” You asked, muffled against his chest. He paused. “Maybe a month?” You pulled away from him, shocked. “A month? Here? That’s all your vacation time.” “Yeah,” he replied, as if that wasn’t a big deal, “I didn’t want to travel to a bunch of places because the group and I have been doing that for almost a year—and it’s pretty chill in this area.” He sighed. “Besides, I don’t think many people would recognize me. The airport wasn’t busy, and I haven’t been swarmed by fans yet.” “Do you have a place to stay?” You asked. He nodded. “Yup! I’m staying at a fancy hotel. I got the suite at the top floor,” he made a gesture with his hand, indicating how high up his suite was. You playfully elbowed his side. "Wow, look at you, Mr. Famous. You can afford a top suite now. Are you sure you don't want to stay with me, though?” Hoseok dismissed your offer with a wave of his hand. “It’s alright, Y/N. Thank you, though.” He peered over your shoulder, “It looks like you’re busy anyway, so I think I’ll just stick to my suite.” He walked past you, over to the bare mannequins. “Are you preparing for that show in Vancouver that you told me about?” You nodded, relaying your theme and ideas to him. He smiled. “That sounds really cool,” he pointed to the mannequins, “but don’t you need some clothes for the show, then?” You rolled your eyes, chuckling at him for being a smart ass. “Yes, I do. I’m brainstorming some ideas right now, but I’m coming up with nothing. I have the design team coming in tomorrow with drafts, but I’d like to bring my own thing to the table, you know? I’m the main brain of this operation, and it’d be embarrassing if I come in with zilch.” You leaned against one of the tables, facing the mannequins. "The tough part is designing gowns that fit the right people, you know. Sure, you can make a collection of clothes, but they won't look good if they don't fit the models." You shook your head. "Maybe it's just tougher to design clothes for different bodies. I should just stick to one type of person and leave it at that." Hoseok walked up beside you, leaning against the same table and facing the figures. “Why don’t you find the models and then design the clothes?” You looked at him, surprised. “But wouldn’t that take a long time?” He crossed his arms, “Well, how many models would you need?” “We’re thinking around seventy. There’s going to be two changes within the show.” Hoseok nodded, and you could see him brainstorming. “Well, you have four months left, right? You and your team can make some drafts, cast the models, and finalize the ideas with said models. Which would take about a couple of months? You could do that while planning the show?” He paused, appearing to notice your hesitant expression. “Think about it. You’ve trained your team well enough to work on its own, right? That’s what you did for your last show, which was a success. You came in every day for a couple hours to make sure everything was in order, then focused on other things.” Hoseok grasped your hands. “You’re great at multitasking, so do it. It’s scary, but you can check on people every day to make sure everything’s alright.” You bit your lip, “I-I don’t know, Hoseok. That sounds like a lot of work—” “You did it last time, and it worked out just fine,” he gently squeezed your hands, “and I’m here for a month. I can help out whenever you need me. I’ll simply clean things up and fetch coffee if that’s what you need.” You laughed, “Like my intern?” “Yeah! I don’t know how to design anything or plan a fashion show, but I’ll do what I can.” He smiled. “You’re so much more than you think, Y/N, and if you need reminders, I’ll be here.” You smiled back at him, so grateful to have him here. “My god, you’re fucking sweet,” you scoffed, taking your hands out of his. Hoseok laughed. You pushed yourself off the table and faced him. “How did we even become friends?” You questioned. He actually gave it a thought. “You joined by dance club in elementary school, when no one else would.” He laughed so hard that he teared up. “I think we actually took club photos, and it was only you and I posing.” You laughed with him, remembering those days spent trying to breakdance to hip hop and presenting dance routines to your parents. “Yeah, that was before you joined that Music Academy in grade four, right?” He nodded, and you sighed, surprised you still remembered. Your mind came back to the present. “So, you’re actually okay with helping out?” You checked. “Why would I ask if I didn’t want to?” Hoseok replied. You tapped your index finger against your temple, “true.” “So, how much do you want?” Hoseok looked offended at your question. You chuckled. “Well, you’re going to work for me, so I need to pay you.” “It’s only just a month, though.” “Yeah, but—” “What about we see how much you have me do before you pay me?” He interrupted. “I might just have to fetch coffee, so you can just give me money on the spot.” You thought about it for a minute. Hoseok yawned. “This work talk is making me tired. Do you want to go out for dinner?” He looked around you, “Unless you have more work to do. I can always wait in the lobby for you to finish.” You brushed your hand through the air, “Nah, it’s okay. I’m pretty brain dead anyway. I need to be energized for tomorrow’s draft review.” Hoseok pushed himself off the table and clapped. “Awesome! Where do you think I’m taking you for dinner?” You bit your lip, trying to guess. “Sushi?” “Sushi it is!” He beamed. You grabbed your things and followed him out of the studio.

Both of you sat towards the back of the sushi restaurant, to Hoseok’s request. The waitress placed you two in a concealed booth, with drapes covering a small entrance.

You two had to take your shoes off before sitting down.

“Why did you say, ‘sushi it is?’” You asked, taking a sip of your water.

Hoseok opened his can of sprite, “What do you mean?”

“You asked where I thought you were taking me, I responded, and you said, ‘sushi it is!’” You reiterated.

He took a sip of his soda before responding, "It's a trick I learned from Instagram." He set his drink down. "You ask someone, 'where do you think I'm taking you for food?' dinner or whatever, and then take them to a place with that food. It's easier than asking 'what do you want to eat?' because people can't decide."

You nodded, making an ‘aaahhh’ sound. “Smart.”

You two caught up while eating your meals. Hoseok chatted about his bandmates and the tour, and you talked about your move to the new building.

Most of it was just adding more details about your lives because you two texted lots during the week and sometimes video chatted. You'd get to see Hoseok and his friends, and he'd get a view of your life on the other side of the world.

To others, it looked like both of you were dating. Both of your friends would tease, singing, "Y/N and Hoseok sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G." Many of his fans, ARMY, would theorize your friendship, pointing out the matching bracelets you two wore—which was later proved normal because Hoseok went live on Vlive making bracelets for his bandmates.

And you two would continually clarify that you two were strictly long-time friends. Nothing more.

Girls and boys can be friends. Simple as that.

You and Hoseok finished your meals. You two shared a few rolls and a bento box and were full.

“That was really good.” You commented, rubbing your stomach.

Hoseok chuckled, copying you, “I think I’m pregnant.”

You laughed, “Shut up! You’re so fit.”

“You’re right,” he replied, pulling up his sleeves and flexing his arms.

You both laughed as he flexed his muscles, which were significantly more prominent than your remembered. You were slightly jealous of his lean athletic figure.

And were gazing at it for too long.

“I don’t know about you,” Hoseok sighed, appearing to be tired from the food and flexing his muscles, “but I’m in the mood for some Ben and Jerry’s.”

Your eyes lit up. “YES.”

“Cookie dough with chunks?” You both said in unison.

You two erupted in laughter.

"I'll go play," Hoseok said, getting up.

You stopped him, “It’s alright,” you smiled, “my treat.”

Before you left the booth, you turned around and said thoughtfully, "But you're getting the ice cream."

Hoseok's expression conveyed the same seriousness as if a soldier on a mission.

He saluted you. “Copy that, Y/N.”

You saluted him back and left to pay.

The walk to Ben and Jerry’s was quick. Both of you were eager to share the tub of ice cream.

You ended up getting a chocolate chip cookie dough and a cherry Garcia pint, and two spoons to share. You both ate the ice creams with delight while walking back to your apartment building.

When arriving at your building, Hoseok handed you the cookie dough ice cream pint.

“What are you doing?” You asked while he gave you the closed pint.

He tilted his head to the side, confused. “What do you mean? I’m dropping you off at your place.”

You gave a shocked expression. “Dropping me off? We’re not even done our pints!”

“But you have work tomorrow. I don’t want to keep you up.” Hoseok stepped back towards the edge of the sidewalk. “I can catch a cab back to the hotel, don’t worry.”

You balanced the pints in one hand and used your other to grab his arm.

“You’re not going anywhere,” you said, pulling away from the curb and closer to your building.

Hoseok pulled his arm out of your grip. "Y/N, you need to be well-rested—"

“At least help me finish the ice cream.” You interrupted, holding up the pints that were now in both your hands, along with your spoon.

“We haven’t seen each other six months, and it’s only…”

Hoseok pulled out his phone. “Nine.”

“Exactly!” You expressed. “It’s only nine. I don’t need to be in until nine-thirty tomorrow morning. As long as you’re out by eleven, that gives me an hour to get ready for bed at twelve, and I will wake up at eight. Plenty of rest!”

You watched his unsure expression.

"If you don't want to go home at eleven, that's fine by me. Could you leave earlier? Or you can go back to your hotel if you want. I won't take offence; you know me." You held up your arms in surrender, ice cream pints still in your hands. "But if you're leaving because you're worried that I won't get enough sleep, don't. I'm a grown woman. I know how to take care of myself, and I want you to come in.

Hoseok bit his lip, appearing to debate the offer.

He sighed. "Fine, I'll come in. However, I don't want to get a text from you complaining about being tired in the morning."

“I swear,” you promised, pretending to draw an ‘x’ over your heart, “I cross my heart.”

Hoseok chuckled, and you led the two of you into your apartment building and into the elevator. You pressed the twentieth button, and you two waited in comfortable silence.

The elevator doors opened, and you two walked to your apartment.

You opened the door to your studio apartment, locking the door behind you two and hanging up your bag along with your keys.

“Want anything to drink?” You asked, setting down the ice cream pint in your hand and taking off your coat.

Hoseok set down the cookie dough pint on the coffee table. “Anything is alright, thanks,”

You hummed, getting both of you bottles of black cherry soda and bringing over the cherry Garcia pint and your spoon.

"Jesus, do you need help?" Hoseok asked with worry, seeing you holding the bottles by their necks in one hand and the ice cream pint and spoon in the other.

You chuckled, “It’s alright, just sit down.”

You two sat on the couch, twisting off the caps on your sodas and taking a sip.

Hoseok sighed. “That’s really good,” he gestured to the pop before putting it down on the coffee table.

“Yeah! They’re so addictive,” you replied, setting coasters under both of your drinks.

Both of you continued to reminisce about your childhood, especially middle school. The puberty years had been gruesome to you two, speckling your faces with acne.

You pulled out a photo album you kept on one of your bookshelves, which had pictures of your families and your younger selves—even photos when Hoseok was training, before debuting with BTS in 2013.

“Oh my god, look at you!” You gasped, showing him a picture.

In the photo, Hoseok arms were crossed over his chest, his attempt at having swagger. He wore a collared shirt, and his hair was short.

“Oh god, no,” Hoseok cringed, gently pushing the photo away.

You chuckled, "You were so adorable, always dancing and having a good time." You smiled. "You are such a hard worker, practicing so much. I remember you twisting your ankle but still practicing."

You looked at him tenderly. “I wish people could see that.”

Hoseok smiled back at you, softly touching your hand. You grasped his hand, feeling butterflies in your stomach.

He was the first to pull away.

“You remember our sleepovers?” He asked.

You giggled, "Yeah when you could leave that cramped place you shared with the boys."

He swatted your arm, “That apartment was good! It was where everything started.” He pouted. “Anyways, we would always look up deep questions to ask each other—or would you rather.”

You rolled your eyes. “Those questions were overrated.”

“I thought they were nice!” Hoseok defended. “We got to know each other more, like, ‘what is your biggest fear?’ or ‘what is your biggest pet peeve?’”

He must've seen your unimpressed expression because he continued, "You got to admit that you learned a bit more about me because of those questions!"

You sighed. “I did, I guess.”

Hoseok held up his index finger, seeming to signal ‘wait a minute.’

He pulled out his phone. “Let’s try some now, then.”

“Hoseok—”

“Come on,” he interrupted. “If you don’t learn anything new about me from the first four questions we do, then we can stop, alright? I will never bring up these questions ever again.”

You debated his offer.

“Fine.” You agreed, setting down the photo album. “Shoot.”

“Okay, but we both pick two questions and answer all of them. For example, when we ask a question, the other person answers before the picker.” Hoseok said while he scrolled.

You hummed, understanding his instructions.  

“Want to do would you rather?”

“Sure.”

"Sexy edition?" Hoseok wiggled his eyebrows. "Unless you're uncomfortable."

You scoffed. “Hobi, we're grown, adults. I can take a few sexual questions."

“Okay,” Hoseok replied, “but if you ever feel uncomfortable, we can choose another question or stop.”

You nodded, and Hoseok appeared to find what he was looking for.

“Alright,” he began, “would you rather bite someone’s ear during sex or bite someone’s lip during sex?”

This is pretty vanilla. You thought.

"Lip, for sure." You emphasized the 'sure' in your sentence, stringing along with the 'er' sound.

“Same,” Hoseok agreed while passing you his phone.

You took his cell and strolled through the website.

What do I choose? Do I just dive in, or go for the vanilla shit?

“Would you rather engage in foreplay or go right into the main course?” You asked.

Hoseok thought about it. “I would say foreplay. You can warm things up—and nothing is more fun than teasing.” He shimmied, making you two laugh.

You agreed, passing the phone to him.

“Oooo, here’s a classic,” he grinned, “top or bottom?”

“I think I’m a switch,” you replied.

He tilted his head.

“It’s like, you’re both, top and bottom. I like to take control sometimes, but I can also sub.” You explained. “You?”

“Top,” he replied, “for sure.”

You laughed, “You sound so against being a bottom.”

He laughed too. “I like pleasuring the person I’m having sex with. Nothing is more satisfying than making someone cum.”

“True,” you admitted.

You found your mind wandering to unholy memories of you and Hoseok. What was odd about your friendship that—to put it blatantly—you two had sex. Not just once, but a few times.

This is why asking these questions was pretty casual and not too surprising.

You two started engaging in sex a couple years ago. You were stressed about your company starting, and Hoseok was in town. He offered to help you relax, and before you knew it, he was drilling into you from behind.

Both of you agreed to stay friends but continued to have sex every now and then. It was great, you had to admit. Probably the best sex you had in your life, and it was good that you two were able to keep your friendship platonic at the same time. Only, it was sex without the romantic feelings.

To be honest, you were craving it again.

He passed you his phone again, and you tried to pick a good last question.

“Would you rather kiss me gently or kiss me aggressively?” You asked.

Hoseok paused before answering. “Depends on the mood.”

“Well, at this moment, then, what is the mood?”

You watched Hoseok’s eyes shift between your lips then your eyes.

“Aggressively.”

You hummed. “Good to know.” You passed him back his phone. “Last question.”

Hoseok chuckled, “You seriously didn’t learn anything new?”

You shrugged. “I guess not.”

He didn't seem bothered, though, when his body shifted closer to yours.

When he looked back up at you, his expression changed. Although his eyes were already an opaque shade of brown, they had darkened.

I know that look.

He smirked. “Would you rather make the first move or receive the first move?”

You bit your lip, gazing up at his body.

Before you could reconnect with his eyes, you heard his phone drop, and his lips were on yours.

Just like his answer, his kisses were aggressive and needy. You could taste the cherry cola and ice cream on his lips and mouth.

You pulled his face closer, wanting more.

Hoseok’s body language opened up, allowing you to get up and straddle his lap. You felt his hands inch up your shirt and tug at the fabric. He helped you take it off, which gave him access to your breasts.

You felt him undo your bra with a quick flick of his fingers, and you tossed it off without a care.

Hoseok let out a chuckle before claiming your lips with his.

His lips were intoxicating, and you wanted more.

“Please touch me,” you begged against his lips.

He hummed, grazing his hands down your back before roughly grabbing your ass. You moaned, and he held you against him, hard enough to feel him grind into you.

“Fuck, stop teasing,” you pulled away, and he laughed.

“Baby, I’m not teasing,” he smirked.

Baby. The term of endearment made your heart swoon.

You weren’t always this infatuated by Hoseok. But the way he came to visit you during his break, had dinner and ice cream with you, and kissed you this good—it made you want more than just a fling.

But you couldn't think that way. It was sex. You two were doing this to get off, not engage in lovemaking.

Hoseok swiped his tongue over his bottom lip, eyeing your figure. “You know what I want.”

You ran your hand up and down his chest. “What are you waiting for?”

Hoseok's hands came underneath your thighs, and he picked you up, walking you to your bedroom. He used your body to close the door, slamming you against it.

He ground himself against your core, causing you to moan louder than you expected.

You covered your mouth in embarrassment.

Hoseok chuckled, “It’s okay,” he pulled away enough to graze his thumb over your cheek, “I love it when you moan.”

You rolled your eyes, kissing him and grabbing his ass, causing him to grind on your core.

"Fuck, I can practically feel that you wet," he groaned, trying his best to hold you up and sturdy you against the door.

“B-bed,” you choked, one of his particular thrusts stroking perfectly against you.  

Hoseok moved you towards your bed and gingerly placed you down. He kissed down your bare chest and slowly took off your pants and underwear.

“Fuck, your perfect,” Hoseok awed, softly running a finger through your wet heat.

His cold finger sent a wave of pleasure through you, making you flinch.

Hoseok hummed. “So wet for me,”

He looked up at you. “May I?”

You nodded, but he only smirked.

“Words, baby,” he put a hand to his ear.

“Please,” you bit down on your lip.

You felt him spread your lips, and you clenched in response. He appeared to savour you, taking his time as he ate you out.

When you moaned, he’d hum, sending vibrations into your heat that brought you closer to your climax.

“Fuck, I’m close—”

He pulled away, licking his lips and gazing down at you.

“Hoseok—”

“You taste better than I remembered,” he commented. “But I want you to cum around me.”

God, I love his dirty talk.

You watched him take off his clothes. He must've been working out because he was more toned than six months ago.

He was about to line himself up with your entrance, but you stopped him with your foot on his chest.

You smirked. “Not yet, baby.”

You stood up. “Sit.”

Hoseok sat on the bed, your roles shifting.

“But I want—”

You interrupted his beg with your hand around his erect cock. He appeared to be speechless as you run your hand up and down his shaft.

“Hm?” You asked, chuckling lightly at how easy it was to make him submit. “What do you want, baby?”

“I-I wanted,” he stuttered, thrusting slightly into your hand, “to cum inside you.”

“Is that so?” You questioned, pulling your hand away.

Despite his vocalized want, he whined when you pulled away.

“I’m only doing what my baby wants,” you shrugged. “Condoms are in the bottom drawer on the right.”

Hoseok dashed over to the bedside table, rummaging for the condoms.

“Those should fit you, right?”

"Yes," he replied, opening the familiar wrapper and unravelling it on his erect member.  

He stood there for a minute, wrapped penis and naked, just fondly looking at your nude figure.

He whispered something under his breath.

“Hm?”

“Nothing,” Hoseok blushed. “You still want to fuck?”

“Yes.”

“Top or bottom?”

“Top please,” you smiled.

Hoseok laid down on your bed, and you climbed onto his torso.

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he cursed as you moved off his abs and onto his cock.

A wet puddle was left on his abdomen, which he wiped away with his fingers, then putting said fingers into his mouth.

“So good,” he groaned.

You hummed in response, slowly sinking onto him.

"Fuck, you feel so good," you said when you bottomed out.

You started moving, swaying your hips back and forth. Each time Hoseok's cock would graze against your g-spot.

His hands were placed on your hips, guiding you on him. You could feel yourself clenching around him and your climax building up.

“I-I’m close,” you stuttered.

Hoseok swallowed, “Me too.”

“Ch-choke me,” you requested as you picked up your pace.

Hoseok grinned. “Only if you choke me back.”

You chuckled and rolled your eyes. Hoseok gently wrapped his hand around your neck, and you did the same, slowly applying pressure.

You felt your thighs burn from exhaustion. "F-fuck me," you cursed, slowing down.

Both of you let go of each other's neck, and Hoseok flipped you two over, still inside you.

"It's okay," Hoseok assures before resuming the pace.

His thrusts were rough and deep, and he pushed your thighs against your chest.

“Fuck, please keep going,” you begged.

“Can I choke you?” Hoseok asked.

“Please,” you replied, “do you want me to choke you too?”

“Yes,” Hoseok responded.

You felt yourself rhythmically clench around him. Hoseok must’ve realized because he began thrusting faster into you.

The room was filled with unholy noises. You could hear the wet sounds of your entrance and the impact of Hoseok’s hips against your core.

“Fuck don’t stop,” you choked out.

The knot building up in your abdomen unravelled, and pleasure and relaxation spread through your body. Your core gripped onto Hoseok like a vice.

“H-Hoseok,” you stammered, your core overstimulated.

“I-I want you to squirt,” he replied, continuing his firm thrusts.

“Oh,” you moaned.

He pounded deeper into your core, to the point where you could feel his tip ram against your cervix.

“Ah!” You screamed, feeling yourself gush around him.

“Fuck, so good,” Hoseok groaned. “I-I’m cumming.”

You felt the condom fill up inside you, and you felt disappointed that his cum couldn’t coat your walls.

His thrusts slowed down, and he stood still for a few moments.

When he pulled out, you shivered with oversensitivity. You knew that your sheets would be a mess and weren't looking forward to cleaning them when Hoseok left.

You looked up at the ceiling, breathless, while you heard Hoseok walk away from the bed.

“Where do you put your towels?” He asked.

“In the hallway, in the closet beside the dryer and washing machine.” You replied.

You heard him walk into the hallway and the closet door open and close. “Thanks,” he said. “And your bedsheets?”

“The closet in my room.”

You heard him walk back into your room, open your walk-in closet that led into your bathroom, and shuffle around. The tap ran in your bathroom for a couple seconds, then the sound of Hoseok wringing out something.

You began to sit up, but he hushed you to lie back down.

“Just relax,” he soothed, placing the clean bedsheets on your bedside table and walking over to you with a damp cloth.

“You don’t have to—”

He placed a hand on your thigh. “It’s okay,” he reassured.

You two exchanged a quick smile before Hoseok began to clean you up.

“You didn’t even cum on me,” you chuckled as he gently wiped your inner thighs.

“I know,” he replied, “but I still made you messy.”

When your thighs were no longer covered in your cum, you two changed your bedsheets.

“You good sleep in the same bed?” You asked while folding over your duvet.

“Sure,” He smiled.

You walked into your closet. "There should be some clothes that fit you. I usually wear men's clothes at home, anyways. It's crazy how great the quality men's clothes are compared to women's clothes." You picked out a t-shirt and sweatpants and tossed them at Hoseok.

He caught them, “Thanks.”

You two showered separately and spent the time getting ready together dancing to tunes.

If someone were to walk into the room, it wouldn’t look or smell like you two just had sex. You two looked like close friends having a dance party before going to bed.

Again, after you two had sex the first time, you both agreed to stay friends. It was easier said than done.

It was awkward initially, but you both were able to get past that by talking it through. Hoseok would ask how you felt during sex and what could have been better, and you would return the question.

Now, you both were able to have a good time and intimately learn more about each other.

Sure, it was strange, but it was a mutual agreement between consenting adults and fun.

The sex was fun—great, really—and you couldn’t have it any other way.

But you would be lying to yourself if you didn’t feel like something was missing.

.

.

“Good morning, everyone,” you greeted your fellow designers, “this is Hoseok. If you don’t know him already, he’s a well-known musician and one of my closest friends.”

Everyone welcomed Hoseok with a warm round of applause.

“Thank you, it’s a pleasure to be here.” Hoseok thanked.

“Hoseok will be helping out here and there while he’s vacationing here for a month,” you explained, “so take it easy on him.”

People shared chuckles at your joke.

"Anyways, let's start looking over the design ideas. You all are very talented artists, and I want you to remember that this is a draft, which means that these ideas are not final. If your idea is rejected, it's okay. We'll continue to work on a collective theme for the show."

The morning was spent listening to everyone's design concepts. To follow your reputation, the designs were contained within suits and gowns. As mentioned before, the theme was Vancouver's nature, where the fashion show would be taking place.

You and your design team used the recycled fabrics—which were separated by colours, textures, and materials—while figuring out your drafts.

You asked your design team to draft some ideas because you couldn't think of anything to present.

You were pleasantly surprised that your whole team had ideas that you approved.

“This a phenomenal,” you awed, “Great job, Erinn.”

“Actually,” you grabbed the attention of the other team members, “you all did a great job. We will be using all these ideas for the show.”

Your team shared cheers.

“Y/N,” Rachel nudged your shoulder, “I’m sorry to ask, but now that we’ve got the designs all in order, what about the models? You wanted to have various body types, right?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got that covered,” you whispered back.

You turned back to your design team. "You all know that this show is tougher than our last one because we are trying to include more body types, genders, races, just different kinds of people. Which means that we will need to cater our clothes to the models, rather than the other way around.” You smiled, “So you all can go home for the next week.”

You heard Rachel choke on her inhale.

"Although you all have the week off, I want you all to try drawing your designs on other body types. Experiment with materials and colours. Remember to take some of the recycled fabrics home with you, and feel free to come in to pick anything up. Just let Rachel and I know in advance, and we'll give notice to the front desk so they can let you in. When we reconvene in a week, which would be next Friday at nine-thirty, I need you all to be ready to translate your designs, colours, and materials to our models." You ordered.

“Any questions?”

Comfortable silence amongst everyone.

You nodded. "Awesome. Good luck, everyone. Contact me if you have any questions."

Your team started packing up.

“Y/N, does that mean we’re spending the next week casting?” Rachel asked.

“Yes, Rachel. Please contact Westly and schedule lunch tomorrow at noon to discuss modelling criteria. It’s probably going to be pretty loose, but we need to contact Westly before sending it out.” You answered. “If he’s not free at that time, try figuring out something later tomorrow. Then book a reservation for three at Romeo’s.”

“Alright, on it,” Rachel replied.

You turned to Hoseok, who seemed shocked.

“What?” You blushed.

He continued his surprised expression. “I haven’t seen you like this before.”

You chuckled. “How else are you supposed to run a company and organize and execute a fashion show in 3 months?”

Rachel tapped you on the shoulder. "Westly can do lunch tomorrow, at noon, at Romeo's. He and his team secured the venue with Vancouver Fashion Week and are currently collaborating with the interior designers to figure out how the place will look. West said he'll debrief you tomorrow, at lunch, about the rest of the progress."

You smiled. “Great! Thank you, Rachel. You can also take the rest of the day off.”

Rachel appeared to be stunned, not responding to your words.

You waved a hand in front of her face. “Rachel? You can take the rest of the day off.”

“Are you sure, Y/N?” She asked.

You chuckled, “I wouldn’t be telling you to if I wasn’t sure, would I?”

She gave it a thought. “I guess not.”

You grinned. “Just meet me at our main building tomorrow, at eleven-thirty, and we’ll go to Romeo’s together.”

Rachel nodded. “Thank you, Y/N,”

“No worries,” you smiled.

You and Hoseok watched her leave, leaving you two alone in the studio.

“I’m sorry, it passed my mind. You’re okay not joining us for lunch tomorrow, right?” You asked Hoseok.

He dismissed your apology by brushing a hand through the air, “It’s all good. You’ve got your shit to do.” He smiled, “It gives me time to tour around a bit, anyways.”

“Good,” you replied. “So, where to?”

You pulled apart the croissant, eating pieces one at a time. The butteriness covered your tongue in a warmth that mixed well with the iced coffee you and Hoseok shared.

The park was surprisingly empty, despite it being a Friday. Usually, it would be tough to find a spot decently away from others, mostly shaded by trees.

The inlet was a few meters away, allowing you two to see sailboats pass by. People also kayaked and canoed, and you could hear their laughter faintly on land.

Here, you and Hoseok would be shielded by looming trees and away from potential fans of Hoseok. It was a rarity to have those two things when spending time with Hoseok: privacy and security—peace and quiet.

“This is what you wanted to do?” You asked, finishing off the croissant.

He nodded, sipping the iced coffee. “Yeah. It’s quiet and nice here.”

You two people watched, enjoying the breeze and serene environment.

“I was thinking,” you cleared your throat, “about last night. Did you enjoy it?”

Hoseok set down the iced coffee. “Yeah. I always like hanging out with you.”

“I mean—the sex.”

He seemed shocked by your question.

“Yeah, that was good too. Why do you ask? You never brought up before.” He pointed out.

Because I am growing feelings for my childhood friend, who I now have sex with for fun. This wasn't a part of the agreement, I know. We agreed to not grow feelings for each other and just have sex for pleasure. But it's inevitable to develop feelings for someone you have sex for, right? Like, there are probably people out there that can distinguish sex from love—and I guess it started out like that—but for us?

Am I crazy?

“No reason,” you sighed. “I just wanted to know if there was anything I could have done better.”

Hoseok turned his body to you, smiling. “It was perfect.”

He gestured with his arms for a hug, and you obliged. His cologne smelt of freshly peeled oranges; it was a pleasant fragrance, and you found yourself snuggling closer.

.

.

The past month went by in a busy blur.

The model casting went well. You and Westley found fantastic individuals to present your clothing line, which was in the process of being altered to fit those people.

The venue was secured, and the guest list was being made by You and Westley.

“Maybe invite Hoseok,” Westley suggested.  

You shook your head, “I can’t.”

"Why not?" He retorted. "The worse thing he could say is 'no,' and you can invite the whole band." He giggled. "Maybe I can meet Jimin in person."

You chuckled, “So that’s why you want me to invite Hoseok. Just because you made eye contact with Jimin for more than five seconds, it doesn’t mean that he’s into you. He’s straight.”

“How do you know?” Westley had a hand firmly on his hip.

“W-well, I haven’t asked him personally—”

"Then you can't assume he's straight!" Westley exclaimed. "The baseline isn't being heterosexual."

“True. Anyways, let’s get back to the guest list.” You chewed on your lip. “We have Harry Styles, BLACKPINK, Lizzo…”

Both of you ran down the list of a thousand attendees to the show in Vancouver. It was way smaller than fashion week or any of your previous shows, but it wasn't meant to be a big party.

Y/N [14:00]: Hey! Are you free and the boys on March 1st at 1 pm for about four hours, including an after-party until 10 pm, with food?

Hoseok [14:30]: Hiiiiii!! Sorry for the late text. I was asking the others. Yeah! That’s in 4 months? 🧐

Y/N [14:31]: Yeah, it’s for my fashion show. You can ask your company for that time? We’d provide the plane tickets and accommodation. You’d probably stay 3 days and 2 nights? You’d fly in the first day, sleep the one night, then attend the show the second day, sleep the second night, and fly out the 3rd day. I’ll need to know by the end of the week.

Hoseok [14:32]: Sounds good!!! I’ll ask my managers and let you know 👊

Y/N [14:33]: Awesome! Thanks 💚

Hoseok [14:33]: Np 💚

“So, Hoseok and the boys can come, but he has to confirm with his managers. He’ll let me know soon.” You relayed to Westley.

"Great! As long as we get confirmation from Hoseok at the end of this week, we can send out the invitations. We've checked with everyone's management, and they all seem to be busy. Worse comes to worst; we'll just have to move seats around." Westley advised.

He closed his laptop, and you followed.

“Alright, that seems to be all of the guest list business. I’ll get my team to start organizing plane tickets and accommodation.” He sighed, “shall we head to the studio to check on the design team?”

“Yes,” you replied.

Both of you were driven to the studio to check on the design team.

The studio was filled with models of various shades and shapes. Music played quietly in the background, and your coworkers and models grooved to the tunes. Designers pinned fabrics around people’s figures and sketched down measurements and ideas.

You and Westley went around checking on everyone, making sure gowns and suits were well in progress. A smaller group of people created ideas for shoes and were sending them out to shoemakers.

The rest of the day was spent getting to know the models, fixing measurements, finalizing some ideas, and briefing everyone about the plan for the next two months.

"Please have the gowns, suits, and shoes by the end of this month so we can start having the makeup artists consult all of you; to make sure the makeup correlates with the clothes and the models." You informed. "Thank you, everyone, for your amazing work."

Scattered “thank you”s responded, and our workday was over.

“You want to get some drinks?” Westley nudged.

You nodded, frankly too tired to answer but eager for a drink.

Both of you decided to walk to the high-class bar, which allowed private areas in the back for paying customers. You and Westley sat alone, away from the crowds of people near the entrance of the bar.

“To having a productive three months,” Westley sang, holding up his martini.

You sighed, “Cheers,” you tapped your peach Bellini glass against his, admitting a chime.

"Fuck," Westley cursed at the sip of his drink, "they're always stronger than I remember. "Anyways, the show is pretty much underway. Guestlist is handled, the venue is prepped and ready for us, the clothing is almost done. Oooo, I can’t wait to see it all together.”

You nodded.

“You don’t seem so excited, Y/N.”

“I am,” you replied.

“But?”

“I am excited.” You affirmed, although not living up to the word

Westley silenced, knowing when not to push your buttons.

He took a careful sip of his martini. “Where’s Hoseok?”

You fidgeted with your glass. "Hoseok went back to Korea. He only had a month of vacay, so," you left the sentence adrift.

“Did you enjoy his company?”

“Can we not talk about him right now? I rather not mix work and personal life.” You stated.

Westley acknowledged with a firm nod, finishing off his martini and asking for another.

“May I ask a question?”

“Sure.” You replied.

He cringed. “But if I ask, promise me you won’t fire me.”

You turned to him. “Depends on your question. You have to ask me first, then I can decide whether or not to fire you. I cannot make promises.”

“Why are you so off all of a sudden?” He genuinely asked.

You took a deep breath. “I’m not going to fire you, not for a long time. You’re my best worker, and I can’t let you go.”

"I feel like there's going to be a 'but' somewhere. Might as well rip off the Band-Aid." Westley sighed.

You nodded, “You’re right. And you’re right about my mood. I’ve been kind of off lately.”

“Because of Hoseok?”

"Yeah, to be honest." You admitted. "I feel like we're really close—more than just friends. We're on the same wavelength, you know? And whenever we're apart for a long time and then meet up again, it's like time has passed."

“And let me guess, you haven’t told him because you’re afraid to ruin your friendship.”

You scoffed. “There’s no need for sarcasm, West.”

He rolled his eyes and sighed. “I’m just saying, it’s the oldest narrative in the book. One friend is falling for the other, and that one friend doesn’t want to confess their feelings because they’ve known the other person for years and are afraid of ruining that connection.” He took a sip of his martini. “But in the end, it’s two friends just pining over their feelings of love for each other.”

“But we’re different.” You argued.

"I guess so. The narrative doesn't really specify one friend is a famous fashion designer and the other being a famous musician—"

“I mean,” you interrupted, “we have sex every time we see each other.

Westley's mouth fell open in a silent gasp. His hand was placed on his chest, and his eyes stared into yours.

He tipped back his martini into his mouth, finishing it off. “Well, you didn’t mention the friends with benefits part.”

“I know!” You groaned. “That’s why it’s so complicated.”

"Is it really, though? Wouldn't confessing your feelings after you two have had sex so much make it slightly easier? Because it makes sense to grow feelings for someone you've known for a while and have had sex with on multiple occasions." Westley speculated.

“I didn’t say we had sex on multiple occasions—”

“Honey,” he began, “you said you’ve had sex with him every time you see each other, and you two meet a lot. It doesn’t take a detective to figure it out.”

"Anyways," he digressed, "the sooner you tell him, the better. There's no use debating over it for years, then finding out he's found someone else when he would've picked you anyways."

"Gosh, when you say it like that, it sounds like a romantic movie." You cringed, finishing your peach Bellini.

He shrugged. “Well, it kinda is.”

You chuckled. “Well, thanks for the advice.”

“Thank you for filling me in,” he smiled.

.

.

The week went by fast. Your design team was still working on alterations, so you were left brainstorming hair and makeup and contacting specialists in those fields.

You were sitting at home, knee-deep in Pinterest boards when your phone buzzed.

You stopped strolling through your laptop and peered down.

Hoseok [19:30]: We can come to your show!

Y/N [19:30]: Fantastic! I'll let my team know, and we’ll send out the invites.

You texted Westley, informing him that BTS could attend the show.

Westley [19:33]: Great! I'll let the rest of the team know, and we'll send the emails out tomorrow

Y/N [19:34]: Thanks!

Westley [19:35]: Np

You set down your phone and continued to add ideas to your private Pinterest board.

Your phone buzzed again.

Hoseok [19:55]: What are you doing right now?

You were puzzled.

Y/N [19:56]: Nothing much, just brainstorming ideas for the show. You?

Hoseok [19:57]: Just chilling in my room.

Hoseok [20:05]: I miss you

You chuckled at the text, thinking that Hoseok was drunk.

Y/N [20:05]: I miss you too, Hobi.

Hoseok [20:08]: …how much?

Again, you were puzzled by his text.

Y/N [20:10]: Wdym? I miss having you here? Is that what you mean?

Hoseok [20:11]: I mean, do you miss me intimately?

Y/N [20:14]: Like sex-wise?

Hoseok [20:14]: Fuck, I need you, Y/N.

You stared at his words.

Hoseok [20:18]: I miss your body and how perfectly you fit around me.

Your cheeks flushed.

Hoseok [20:21]: Can you video chat? Unless you’re not in the mood.

You panicked.

You were in the mood but weren't presentable. Your hair was messy, and you weren't wearing any makeup, and you were dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants.

Y/N [20:23]: Yeah, I’m in the mood. Just give me 5 mins.

You quickly got out of your seat and ran to your bedroom. You sifted through your closet and found the sexist clothing item you had: a red lingerie set. You quickly undressed and put on the set.

You looked into your full-length mirror and tried not to cringe. Your hair was a mess, and you weren’t wearing any makeup. It definitely looked like Hoseok's text came out of nowhere—and it did, but you somehow expected yourself to be decently presentable.

However, the lingerie set was doing you favours. The set was composed of a crotchless thong and a bralette that exposed your nipples.

Y/N [20:28]: I’m ready.

Your phone rang, and you answered, quickly propping it on your drawers across from your bed.

You were faced with a shirtless Hoseok, his cock already in his hand.

“Fuck, you look amazing.” He complimented breathlessly.

“Wow, you’re ahead of the game—and really? I’m a mess.” You chuckled.

He hissed, flinching in his grip. “Fuck, just take the compliment, Y/N.”

You cleared your throat. “Thank you.”

You sat a pit forward, angling your breasts towards the camera.

“What are you imagining, baby?” You purred.

“Y-You,” he stuttered, moving his hand up and down his cock.

“Mhm,” you moaned, “thinking up my pussy clenching around your cock, making it all wet.”

He nodded.

"You can do something if you want," he suggested. "You said you were in the mood."

Your eyes opened wide. “Wait a minute.”

You brought the phone with you on your journey, going back to your closet and fetching your dildo, lube, and vibrator. You hurried to the bathroom and propped your phone up against the closed door.

You suctioned the bottom of the dildo onto the titled floor. You placed the vibrator on the bathroom counter.

“You want to watch me bounce on this dildo and think of you?” You smirked, rubbing lube onto your hands, onto the toy, and onto your vagina.  

“Fuck, yes,” he replied, stilling his hand around his cock for a moment.

“Did I say you could stop?” You spat.

“I’m waiting for you,” he smiled, making your heart melt.

You paused over the dildo, smiling back at him. “Awww, that’s actually kinda sweet. Thank you.”

You quickly washed your hands and grabbed the vibrator.  

You crouched down and slowly onto the dildo.

“Fuck,” you moaned, tilting your head back at the feeling of being filled up. It didn’t hit the spots Hoseok did, but it was good enough.

You lifted yourself up and sunk back down again, rhythmically repeating the motion.

“Fuck, so good,” you sighed, overlooking the pain in your knees.

“That's right, baby, imagine me filling that pussy up," Hoseok groaned, following your rhythm while pumping his cock.

“Fuck yes,” you replied, “and I’m clenching around you so tight.”

You two exchanged moans at the sound of your pussy squelching around the dildo.

“Use the vibrator, baby,” Hoseok purred.

You hummed, grabbing the rose gold vibrator and turning it on. You place the buzzing toy on your clit, feeling pleasure rippling through your core.

“Fuck,” you hissed, speeding up your pace a bit.

“I-I’m getting close.”

“Yeah, baby?” Hoseok smirked. “You get off at me rubbing my cock? Imagining me buried inside your pussy, making you feel so good?"

You nodded. “But it’s not as you, baby.”

“I know—” He choked, appearing to be on the brink of his climax. “I fucking miss the way your pussy fit so well around me, no matter how many times I fucked you open.”

“Mhm,” you bit your lips, watching him with hooded eyes. “Don’t stop.”

“Who knew you were filthy enough to cum during cybersex?" He observed. "I'm not even there to touch you, but just thinking of me inside has you in ruins.”

“What would you do if I was with you right now?” You asked.

“I would fuck you until you couldn’t walk the next day,” he replied, “I’d fuck you until that pretty pussy is swollen.”

"F-fuck, I'm going to cum," you stuttered, feeling the familiar build-up in your core.

“M-me too,” he stammered.

You watched his head tilt back in pleasure and his cum squirt up from his cock.

“Fuck!” You cursed, feeling your pleasure shoot out of your core and onto the floor

“So hot,” Hoseok sighed.

You chuckled, coming down from high. You pulled yourself up and off the dildo, sitting on the cool tile floor.

“Fuck, did you squirt?” He asked, looking closer.

You nodded, gesturing to the mess on the ground.

“Spread your legs for me, baby,” he commanded and obliged, showing him your battered cunt.

You spread your lips, and he hummed at sight.

“So beautiful.” He awed.

“You happy? I need to wipe this all up, now,” you scoffed.

He chuckled. “It’s not my fault that you cummed.” He angled his phone to the floor, showing splashes of his cum on the floor, "and besides, you also made me make a mess.”

You both chatted while cleaning up your messes, talking about your days as if nothing happened. After finishing your clean-up, you two continued your conversation while showering, as if both of you were doing it together.

Ready to relax for the night, both of you signed off with exchanged ‘thanks’ and ‘good night.’

You turned off your phone with a soft click and stepped out of the steamy bathroom. Your pyjamas were soft on your skin, and you felt ready to go to bed.

Hopping onto your bed, you grabbed your laptop and turned on some Netflix to fall asleep to.

From an outsider’s perspective, masturbating with your best friend and then casually talking with them while showering and getting ready for bed was odd. Repeating the scenario in your mind did make it sound like you two were in a long-distance romantic relationship rather than a platonic one.

But you and Hoseok were different. That was your excuse.

A friend could do this and not catch feelings. You two were the perfect example of that.

Emphasis on were because you were currently spiralling in your growing romantic feelings for Hoseok.

But what would you do in this situation?

You and your childhood friend engage in sex one time and promise each other to not grow feelings. In this manner, you two could have sex without attachment. Fast forward into the future, and you both are still making this arrangement with no negative consequences and feel like you two have gotten to know each other better and have become better friends—until you catch feelings. And you don’t want to risk losing this relationship you two have.

Because he is a worldwide musician who can’t be tied down because it could risk his career, and he might lose fans—and you couldn't be bothered with any romantic commitment with your fast-paced and unpredictable work schedule.

So, you stay in this unnameable mess.

.

.

“Time flies by when you’re having fun,” Allie commented from the plush couch.

You looked in the mirror, twisting your back towards it to see the back of the dress. “I guess so.”

“You have to admit, planning a fashion show is pretty fun,” she said. “If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be doing it over and over again.”

“True,” you replied, turning to the stylist.

“May I see the other dress?” You asked, and the stylist nodded, retreating to somewhere in the shop you couldn’t see.

It was the last month until the show. Everything was in order: the show’s venue and its decorations, the clothes, makeup and hair for the models, and the guests’ accommodation. Now, it was your turn to find suitable attire for the occasion.

You tried on the next dress. It was a slim-fitting number, with a leg slit in the front. It was scandalous and stunning, but not right for the show.

“I don’t like any of these dresses,” you sighed, annoyed.

Allie appears to brainstorm some ideas.

“Maybe try a suit?” She proposed.

You kept your eyes on the mirror, twirling your figure and watching the fabric move at your feet.

“Think about it,” she began, “think of all the powerful women who’ve worn suits and killed it. Zendaya, Kristen Stewart, Blake Lively, Awkwafina. The list goes on. It’s a statement piece, and you’re the big brain behind this operation.”

“I think it’s ‘mastermind behind this operation,’ but I get what you mean.” You corrected.

“You literally bypassed my whole point—”

“I know, I know,” you interrupted. “It’s just—suits for women are so overpriced. And it’s just like the dresses, except a different fit. Same colour palettes, same materials, so on.”

Allie scoffed. "You're a fucking fashion designer, did you forget? Make your own thing. There are leftover fabrics at your studio; you have time to make something." Her face lit up, “And, technically, it’s for free.”

You gave it a thought, but the stylist came back before you could finish it.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Vega, but I’m not finding anything, and I don’t want you walking back and forth and bringing me more dresses.” You gave an apologetic smile. “Thank you very much for your help.”

"No worries, Y/N! Just hang up the dress when you take it off, and I’ll deal with the rest,” she replied.

“Will do,” you said, and she stepped out of the room.

Allie helped you unzip the gown, and you shimmed out of it. You did as you were told and hung up the dress, and you and Allie left the shop.

The walk back to the studio was quick, you two making determined strides through the crowded city.

You and Allie entered the empty studio, turning on the nights.

The studio was organized chaos with dressed mannequins, big boxes of fabrics in the back of the room, and papered patterns on the tables.

“Wow,” Allie awed.

"Yeah," you replied, leading you both to your master station is near the back, "it's crazy what a couple months before a show looks like.”

You looked through the drawers beside your desks and grabbed the tools you'll need to plan out the suit.

“So, just a suit jacket and pants…” You said, grabbing some paper to sketch up your pattern.

You looked up at Allie, “Do you mind helping me out with measurements?”

She nodded, “For sure. What do you need?”

You guided Allie on how to measure your proportions for the suit. She measured your inseams for your pants, the sleeves, the cuts, and so on. In between, you'd write down the dimensions for the patterns.

You two sifted through the fabrics to create a monochrome patchwork outfit. The suit would be shades of cherry red, with different materials making it up. There were no patterns in the patchwork, only various tones of red in several types of wool.

“Fucking hell,” Allie cursed while sifting through the materials, “who would’ve thought there were so many shades of red.”

She held up a piece of recycled fabrics, checking with you that it was the correct tone. You took it and held the portion against the others.

“Nope, too dark,” you shook your head.

"What? It looks exactly the same," she disagreed, walking over to your table. When comparing the fabrics, she made an 'aaah’ sound, letting you know that you were right.

Before sectioning off your pattern, you tried your best to evenly sew all the material together into a quilt-like form.

“Jesus,” you muttered, shaking out your sore hands.

“We don’t have to get this all done today, you know. You do have two months left.” Allie advised.

"I know. I just want to put this all together first," you replied, continuing to push the material through the sewing machine.

“Alright,” she surrendered, bringing one of the seats over to your table.

You sewed in silence for a bit.

“So,” Allie began, “how are you and Hoseok doing?”

You paused. “What do you mean?”

“You know…you two and your arrangement.”

You scoffed, “Our arrangement? You mean us having sex?”

“Yeah, but the other stuff.”

You pulled your hands from the sewing machine, crossing your arms over your chest. "Just spit it out, Al."

“Well, you’ve had mixed feelings with Hoseok, right? Like you’re starting to like him?” She speculated.

Your mouth gaped open. “Have you been talking to West?”

She didn’t respond, not making eye contact.

“You can’t be fucking serious. You two are ganging up on me!” You yelled.

“Y/N, we’re just worried.”

“About what? I have feelings—and?” You fumed.

She sighed. “You shouldn’t be having sex with someone if you’re growing romantic feelings, especially if you two agreed to be platonic.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you stood.

“Y/N!” She exclaimed. "Don't you dare talk to me that way? I am your friend, not your enemy." Allie stood up and sighed. “I get it. You don’t like people in your business. That’s fair. I just feel like you're sacrificing yourself for Hoseok when you could talk about it with him."

“Allie, you don’t know what you’re fucking talking about.” You spat.

“I get it,” she sympathized. “I don’t. I’m not you or Hoseok.”

“So, tell me,” she said. “Educate me on the situation. I am not here to judge. I’m just worried about you, that’s all.”

You took a few deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

“It’s okay,” she forgave, “just don’t push me away so fast, okay?”

“Okay.” You agreed.

She sat down, “So?”

You sat down and rehashed your feelings about you and Hoseok to her: the growing romantic feelings for him, not knowing what to do, and wanting something more.

“Well, do you think it’d work out between you two if you dated?” She asked.

You shifted in your seat. "I honestly don't know. It's tough with Hoseok's work because he has a loyal fanbase. I'm afraid he's going to get even more hate if we were to date.”

“But would you two be happy?” She asked.

You gave it a thought. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you go into a relationship regardless of other people. Whether you’re a celebrity or an ordinary person, you date someone for you and that person; no one else. There are going to be people who support and hate your relationship no matter what. What matters is what the two people think in the relationship."

She sighed. “You cannot control what others will think about you. No matter what you do or who you do, you're going to upset someone. So, just do what feels comfortable and safe with you."

You hummed, understanding.

“So, would you be happy if you and Hoseok dated?”

“Yes.” You stated without a thought. “I really like him—love him even.”

"Then that's all that matters," Allie replied.

.

.

The week before, the show crept on you faster than you expected. You, your team of designers and event organizers, models, hairstylists and makeup artists flew into Vancouver a week early to prepare on location.

However, the majority of the week would be spent preparing for the show. The first day was spent unloading all of the outfits and equipment for the show into the venue. Everyone was required to show up to organize their stations and to familiarize themselves with the venue.

“Please set up your stations while Westley and I look into the main runway and after part section. We’ll be back in around two hours to check up on everyone. If you have any questions while we're gone, please contact me on my phone." You held up your cellphone and everyone nodded. "Great. Good luck, everyone!"

The venue and interior designers' owners toured you and Westley around the place, showing you the drawn floorplans, running down the prices, and checking that the decorations correlated with your plans.

“These weren’t the chairs we sent over,” Westley pointed to the black folded chairs lining the runways.

“Yes, but these were within the price range and—” One of the interior designers, Queeny, said.

“But did we get an email regarding this change?” You interjected.

Queeny exchanged looks with the other three decorators, and they shook their heads.

Wesley let out an angry sigh. "Well, I guess we’ll have to live with these then.” He sat down on one of the chairs. “At least they’re comfortable. They look cheap, but they’re sturdy.”

“Are there any more changes you made without informing as?” You asked.

They all shook their heads.

"Great." You turned to one of the two-venue owners, named Ruby. "Shall we continue to the after-party part?”

“Yes,” she replied, gesturing to the doorway that led to the front reception area.

From the reception area, where guests would check-in and get a wristband, a double-door way on the right led to a ballroom for the after-party.

The overall theme of the place was classic European designs with off-white luxurious walls and chandeliers. The ceilings were intricately carved, and the floors were a smooth white oak. Just walking around made you feel like you were dirtying the place.

“This place is stunning,” Westley whispered.

“I know,” you replied, “you chose the place.”

“I know,” he smiled, pretending to flip his hair.

You both chuckled, continuing to follow the owners around the venue.

Everything worked out, besides the chairs, so you and Westley checked on the designers, models, hairstylists and makeup artists.

At the end of the workday, everyone was in order and ready for the next three days of dress rehearsals and solving and problems.

You arrived back at your hotel with sore feet and exhaustion.

Your phone rang as you flopped onto your bed.

You answered. “Hobi!”

“Y/N! How was your flight to Vancouver?” He asked.

“It was good. We didn't have a rest day, though. We had to settle into the place and check it over. My feet are so sore.” You groaned.

“Really? I thought you’d at least have a rest day when you guys arrived,” he assumed.

You shook your head. “No. Sadly, this whole week will be walking around and making sure everything is going smoothly.”

He sighed. “Shit. That sucks.” You heard him shift on the other side of the phone. “Do you want to relax?”

You laughed. “Jung Hoseok, did you seriously booty call me from across the world?”

Hoseok gasped, "I did not! I was talking about watching Netflix or something." He chuckled, "You're so dirty-minded."

You both laughed.

“Okay, so what do you want to watch?” He asked on the other end of the call.

You brought out your laptop and scrolled through the movie selection.

“Oooo! Let’s watch Hush. I’ve heard so many good things about it.” You recalled.

You could hear his hesitation.

Hoseok did not like being scared. Whenever you watched anything scary, you were afraid that your neighbours would complain at how loud his screaming was. As you remembered saying "hello" to him once and him screaming in fear and surprise, he was also easily frightened.

“We don’t have to,” you said.

“No, no,” Hoseok reassured, “we’ll watch it. Just send me the Netflix Party link, and I'll ready the Zoom link."

You giggled. “You don’t have to be brave for me, Hobi. I know you don’t like scary movies.”

“You want to watch it, so let’s do it,” he said, “and the ratings are good.”

“Okay,” you digressed. “I’m texting you the link right now.”

“Same,” he replied.

You two hung up and joined the links.

“Hello!” Hoseok beamed, dancing.

You rolled your eyes and chuckled at his burst of energy. “Hello, Hobi.”

You carried your laptop to the bathroom and began getting ready for bed.

“How was your day?” You asked.

Hoseok described him and his bandmates' film day for "Run! BTS," and you groaned at all the work they had to do.

He laughed. “But we got to play games, which was fun. We laughed so much that my abs hurt.” You watched him lift up his shirt and show his toned abdomen.

Your core felt a familiar flutter.

“W-wow, that must be a lot of laughing,” you cleared your throat and took out your toothbrush and toothpaste.

For the moment, the time difference worked for you two because it was almost ten at night for you and nearly three in the afternoon for him.

“Should I turn off my camera?” You asked before undressing to get into the shower.

He shook his head. “I’m okay with you leaving it on. I’ve seen you naked before, so it’s not really different. But if you’re uncomfortable, you can just turn it off.”

You shrugged and began taking off your clothes in full view of the camera and screen.

You noticed Hoseok’s expression.

“Enjoying the show?” You chuckled, finally taking off your undergarments and fully exposing yourself.

Hoseok smirked, “Don’t act like you weren’t just turned on by my abs. I saw how you looked at me.”

You nodded and surrendered. “Fair point.”

You hoped in the shower, and you two continued talking.

“Jesus, we haven’t started the movie yet,” Hoseok commented while you were washing your hair.

“Shit, right,” you laughed, massaging the shampoo into your scalp.

After you hoped out of the shower and dried your body and hair, you both started to watch the movie.

“This is a pretty cool premise. Like, we’ve never seen a deaf person in a horror movie before,” you regarded.

"True, that's a good point—AHHHHHH!" Hoseok screamed at the sudden slam in the movie.

You burst into laughter.

“Holy shit!” He exclaimed, trying to calm himself with controlled breaths.

The movie continued as you finished off your skincare and put on your pyjamas.

The oversized t-shirt was long enough to cover your thighs.

“You’re going to watch this before bed?” Hoseok gasped.

You chuckled. “Yeah. It’s not that scary.” You say as you jump at the sound of breaking glass in the film.

Hoseok laughed at the coincidental timing.

You don’t remember falling asleep, but you woke up to the sound of your alarm.

“Shit,” you grumbled and turned it off.

You heard Hoseok stir awake on the Zoom call.

Both of you had fallen asleep, but Hoseok finished the movie before you could; because you saw the end credits paused in the Netflix Party.

“Sorry,” you whispered.

“It’s okay,” Hoseok mumbled, squinting at the screen.

“I’ll let you sleep,” you smiled, hovering your cursor over the "send" button.

He softly smiled, “thank you.” He snuggled into his pillow, “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Hobi,” you replied, ending the call for both of you.

It didn’t hit you until you were halfway through your dress rehearsal, but Hoseok had stayed with you while you slept. He didn't wake you but quietly continued the movie and fell asleep.

Hoseok was usually sweet, so you didn't pay too much attention to it.

But it did make you feel special.

.

.

It was the day of the fashion show, and you were fucking nervous.

You had done this before, a show, but this one was different. You had put in so much effort and were proud of how it turned out but were afraid of what other people would think.

“It’ll be fine, don’t worry,” Allie assured through video call,” it’ll be excellent, and everyone won’t stop talking about it.”

“Probably,” you replied, putting on your makeup.

“It will be excellent, Y/N. I am so sure I will bet money.” She stated.

You chuckled, "then I'll take your word for it because I am not bidding money.”

You both laughed.

“Okay, I know I already showed you my outfit, but are you sure it looks good?” She asked, putting on the A-line floor-length dress she’d shown you before. It was a beautiful viridian green with lace shoulder straps that draped over the sides of her biceps.

“You look beautiful,” you complimented, setting your makeup with setting spray and heading to your closet.

You put on the suit you made and looked in the mirror. You looked a bad bitch.

“You look great! Oooo, put on the red bottoms,” Allie squealed.

You put on the signature Louis Vuitton black high heels with the ruby bottoms.

Your phone buzzed.

“I got to go; Westley is here with our ride to the venue. I’ll see you there!”

“See you!” She waved, ending the call.

You did a quick check in the mirror, fixing your hair, grabbed your bags, and headed out the door.

Your driver waited outside the vehicle as you approached, and opened its door, showing you a well-dressed and excited Westley.

"Oh my god, you look great!" He gasped. “When did you make the suit?”

“I finished it a week before we flew out,” you chuckled, “and you look great too! I love the pine on you.”

You took a step back and looked at Westley’s crisp pine-coloured suit with matching brown dress shoes.

“Thank you,” he grinned. “Okay, get in before we become late.”

You hopped into the car, and your driver got in and started the vehicle.

The drive was spent recalling your opening and closing speeches with Westley and the show's agenda.

“So, five pm is when the show ends, and then the guests for the after-party go into the ballroom area. Food is served at six pm, and everything is wrapped up at ten pm.” Westley relayed.

You nodded, “Yup.”

Both of you arrived a couple hours before the start time, which was at 1 pm, to set everything up and warm up the models and crew.

Westley checked the organizers and the models while you went to the runway area to check the lights and sound.

"Let's rerun the lights, please!" You announced as you walked into the runway room. "Can I get a headset, please?" You ask the crew on the ground, who nodded.

“Yup!” You heard the lighting crew respond.

You were given the headset, and you heard the head light technician’s voice.

“Can you hear me?” They checked.

“Yes,” you confirmed.

They ran by the six light settings for the show, and it was all correct.

“It’s perfect, thank you. Can you please check that the sound is alright?” You asked through the headset.

“Yup. You’ll have to hand the headset to another person, though, and we’ll give you a mic.” They added.

You heard their muffled voice as if they covered their mic's headset with their hand. Next, you had someone hand you a mic and take your headset.

“You’ll need to stand on the stage,” The person said.

“Okay,” you replied, going to the runway and standing on the end portion.

All the room’s lights turned on, and you could see the lighting crew’s area in the back and the chair organized around the runway.

“You can speak into the mic!” You heard someone shout.

You started speaking nonsense in the mic, like the type of weather outside, as they adjusted the volume.

“Thank you!” Someone shouted.

“Thanks,” you said into the mic before handing it to one of the crew.

“Is there anything to report? Any problems that arose before I got here?” You asked the crew.

They all shook their heads.

“How is everyone feeling?” You asked.

They all shared nervous laughter, and a few people said “good.”

“Alright, if there’s anything you all need, just come to the modelling area and ask me. It’s in the backroom.”

They all nodded, and you left them to their business.

You arrived in the backroom and saw designers fitting their outfits on the models and makeup artists and hairstylists prepping their stations.

“How is everybody doing?!” You enthusiastically asked.

They cheered with a mix of excitement and nervousness.

"I get it. Everyone is on their toes. You all have an hour left to set things up before people start filing in. Remember, the show starts at 1 pm. The door opens thirty minutes before them.”

They call responded with various forms of understanding, and you went around to check on them individually.

Rachel came and taped your shoulder, with a headset on, “So, the guards are in their posts, and the front is ready to check people in.”

“Is there a line already?” You asked.

Rachel pressed down the headset, asking the crew on the other end.

“Yes, there’s a line of people outside,” she reported, “about twenty people, so far.”

"Shit, yeah, let them in. It's probably cold." You ordered.

“I’ll tell them,” she replied.

“Okay, everyone! We’re starting to let people in. Again, you all have about an hour left, so try to wrap things up and relax. Thank you!” You announced.

Again, sounds of understanding, and you, Westley, and Rachel left the backroom.

“Rachel, Westley and I are going to check that the ballroom area and catering are all handled. Please check in with the front desk to see how they're doing, and then meet us in the ballroom." You told.

“Got it, Y/N,” Rachel answered, walking past the two of you and towards the front area.

Westley appeared impressed. “She's terrific. She's even got the headset and everything."

"I know, right? She's cool." You remarked.

Like clockwork, you and Westley ran over the details and schedule for the catering and the after-party. Everyone had places to sit, with elegantly decorated name cards.

Everything was ready.

"Fantastic, thank you," you thanked the caterers and the staff in the ballroom. "Feel free to come into the runway area during the show if you all would like to watch."

With that, it was about time the show would start. You and Westley hurried backstage, where you both were handed microphones.

The lights dimmed, and classical music played—fitting the theme of elegance and high class.

You and Westley regarded each other, did an excellent handshake, and strutted out on the runway. Both of you were met with applause from the crowd and blinding spotlights.

You two walked to the end of the runway and let out an exhausted sigh.

The music quieted, faintly heard in the background.

“And that’s why I’m not a model,” Westley joked, causing the crowd to giggle.

“Same here,” you chuckled.

“Anyways, welcome to the show, everyone!” You cheered, and the crowd clapped. “As you know, I am Y/N, and this is Westley. Today, we’ll be showing recycled elegant clothes on people. Not just models, but people. All the clothes you'll be seeing here today are made from recycled fabrics and hand-crafted by our design team and me."

Applause.

"We wanted to represent people, so we got people to present our clothes. Redundant, I know, but the fashion industry rarely shows models that look like people. Don’t get me wrong, they’re all fantastic. However, this show will be different. Enjoy!” Westley waved.

A final round of applause while you and Westley walked off the runway.

The show went smoothly and wonderfully. The changes were fluid, and there were no clothing mishaps. The classical music turned into upbeat music that everyone seemed to groove to. Models danced on the runway while walking, and there were joyful cheers in the crowd.

In the end, you and Westley gave your brief thank you speeches, and months of planning and work were officially completed.

When everyone was backstage, you all collectively cheered.

“Phenomenal job, everyone!” You praised. “I am speechless at how well we all did. Thank you all for being such wonderful people to work with.”

Smiles and cheers were shared as everyone got ready for the after-party.

“Okay, remember that food is being served at six o’clock, and you all will be able to find your names at a table.” You reminded.

You and Westley did a quick check-up on people before heading to the ballroom area to socialize.

“Great job, you two!” Some complimented.

You and Westley thanked the praise and had a small talk with some colleges.

“Hey, Y/N!” You heard a familiar voice say.

You turned and say Hoseok with the rest of the boys, waving.

“Hey!” You smiled, nudging Westley to join you.

"Well, enjoy the after-party," Westley grinned at the other guests before joining you.

As always, the seven boys were well-dressed in designer suits. Hoseok wore lightly tinted shades paired with a dark suit and floral dress shirt. His hair was wavy.

“That was awesome, Y/N,” Namjoon said.

“Thank you!” You replied.

“Yeah, Y/N, I loved the recycled-fabrics idea. Are anything on sale?” Taehyung asked.

You nodded. "Everything will be on sale next month. I'll send you the dates, so you mark them in your calendar. The clothes go fast," you chuckled.

“Damn,” Taehyung remarked, eyebrows raised.

“Hey, Jimin,” Westley greeted.

“Hey West,” Jimin smiled, “loved your speech today. That suit looks great on you.”

“I know,” Westley smirked, “you look good too.”

"How are you feeling?" Hoseok asked, letting Westley and Jimin casually flirt.

You sighed. “Glad that it’s over, to be honest. It was fun, of course, but it's a lot of work to organize."

“Oh my god, is that Charlie Puth?” Jungkook gasped, hiding slightly behind Namjoon.

Everyone laughed.

"You should go and say 'hi,' Kook. You've already met and sung with him before. You two are practically friends." Yoongi expressed.

“True,” you agreed, “and Charlie’s a nice guy.”

“Okay,” Jungkook straightened his posture, “I’ll do it.”

You all watched Jungkook walk over and begin chatting with Charlie Puth.

“God, he’s grown up so much,” Seokjin sighed.

The rest of you caught up and chatted about the show.

Before you knew it, Westley was poking your side to let you know it was five minutes until six.

“Shit,” you cursed. “Sorry to cut this convo short, but Westley and I have to announce dinner. We’ll talk soon!”

You all said your goodbyes, and you and Westley went up to the front to state it was time for food.

You two were seated with Rachel, Allie, and a couple others. Everyone ordered off a menu, which served various kinds of pasta, salads, and a mix of alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages.

It was an excellent way to end off the show.

There was a dancefloor, too, where people could groove to music after eating.

Of course, the seven boys went to the dancefloor, which caused others to join.

You were finishing off your fettuccine alfredo when Hoseok danced over to your table. You chuckled as he held his hand out and quirked a brow.

“You’re ridiculous,” you said, taking his hand.

“You love it,” he smirked, pulling you off your chair and leading you to the dancefloor.

You danced together, along with your friends. He held your hands as you two swayed to the slow songs and body-rolled with you during the upbeat songs. Of course, a few BTS songs played, and everyone tried to follow the known choreography. You went back to your table for a drink of water, and Allie came with you. "Look, and you and Hoseok dancing up a storm," she teased. “Shut up,” you chuckled. “The chemistry is there, Y/N,” she commented. You drank your water. "Not now, Al." “Come on! He’s here for, what, the night and then gone tomorrow morning? When will you see him again?” She asked. You paused, honestly unsure when you'd see Hoseok again. “Now or never, Y/N. How much longer can you debate this?” “I know,” you replied. “I’ll do it later tonight.” Around nine-thirty, the party was dying down, with only a few guests scattered around the venue helping to clean up. You made eye contact with Allie, who was tending to the chairs, who nudged towards Hoseok’s direction. Now or never. You said in your head. “Can I speak to you, Hoseok?” You asked, walking up to him. “For sure!” He replied. You led both of you to a secluded part of the venue, away from listeners. “Did you enjoy the show?” You asked. “Yeah! You did a fantastic job, Y/N. I love how everything turned out, the colours, the recycled fabrics were great—and your suit! I can’t believe you made it,” Hoseok complimented, stepping back to look at your attire. “Thank you,” you blushed. You gave a quick look around to make sure no one was around. “Is everything alright, Y/N? You’re looking around as if they’re spies around.” He gasped. “Are there spies around? What secret don’t they know?” “I don’t want to have sex with you anymore.” You abruptly stated. A stretch of silence. Hoseok’s expression was a mixture of surprise and concern. “What?” “I can’t have sex with you anymore.” “You can’t or don’t want to? Is it something I did?” “Yes? No? In a way?” You pondered. You took a few deep breaths. "I like you, Hoseok—possibly even love you.” You ran your hand through your hair. “I know we agreed not to catch feelings, so I think we should stop having sex.” You watched his expression shift from some form of being happy to disappointment. “You know I cannot date with work,” he explained, "with the fans, touring, and whatnot, I cannot date someone. And you have your company to work on." “I know,” you replied. “But do you like me back?” You asked. “I do—” “You do?” You were on the verge of hugging him, but he stepped back. You looked at him, confused. “We can’t—” “Why?” “I literally just told you, Y/N. With work, dating wouldn’t allow it. I already have people—” He choked on his words. “People who wish I was dead, j-just for being me.” “Hoseok—” You reached out to him, but he gently pushed you away. “No,” he objected, “I’m fine. I just don’t want to add you to the mess.” “You can’t decide that for me.” You retorted. “I understand that you don’t want to add me to it, but I’m okay with it. I don't care what other people would say about us. They're not in the relationship, we are—" “But what if I care?” He said, almost too quiet for you to hear. “I’m the happy guy of BTS, who’s dedicated to his work.” “But are you truly happy?” You peered into him. “Yeah,” he replied, avoiding eye contact, “but it gets really hard sometimes.” “So, let me help, Hoseok,” you pleaded. "I don't need to be helped! I'm not another project for you to work on.” He thundered. “You know that’s not what I meant.” You seethed. “Let’s just drop it, okay? We’re not dating, that’s it.” He dictated. “Fine.” You replied. “Have a safe trip back home.” You left without another word, trying your best not to cry. Out of all the ways you thought he'd respond, this took you off guard. Hoseok wasn't one to push you away, but here he was doing so. “Fuck this,” you whimpered, walking up to Allie. “I’m going back to the hotel, sorry,” you said, turning away as soon as possible. “Y/N!”

You washed your face and hoped into the shower—the warm water soothing your sore muscles and emotions. You couldn’t tell if it was the water or your tears streaming down your face.

What else did you expect? Hoseok had a point: with his work, he couldn’t date someone. And it was ridiculous that Hoseok would want to date you.

However, instead of sulking over Hoseok, you decided to have a bath and put on a facemask.

The room’s phone rang while you were starting the bath.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Y/N Y/L/N?

“Speaking,” you confirmed.

“Great! There’s a man here, named,” a muffled noise, “Hoseok Jung.”

“Tell him I’m busy, please,” you replied.

Another muffled noise. “Hoseok says he's sorry and that he has ice cream—cookie dough. But if he’s dangerous, I can call the police.”

“No, no. God no,” you said.

You bit your lip. "You can send Hoseok up."

“Okay. However, if there’s anything wrong, please try to press the red button on the receiver. I will check back with you in an hour. If there’s no response, I’ll get someone to check on you.” They informed.

“Thank you,” you replied, slightly shocked by their concern.

You hung up.

A few minutes later, you heard a knock on the door. You tightened your robe.

You checked the peephole before cracking the door open.

“Hi,” you greeted.

“Hey," he smiled. "I'm sorry for leaving you like that at the party. It was sudden and insensitive. I should have been more considerate of your feelings rather than shutting you off.”

“I was just—scared. I don’t know what it’s going to be like for us. And I don't want you to fix me—but I like you, a lot—so I brought cookie dough ice cream and two spoons—"

“Do you want to come in?” You interrupted his nervous rambling.

“Yes, thank you,” he chuckled.

Hoseok still wore the suit from the fashion show, but his jacket was folded over his arm, and his dress shirt was unbuttoned lower.

“Oh, you’re running the bath,” he noticed. "We can deal with this later if it's a bad time."

“No, it’s alright. I’ll just turn off the water.” You replied, going to the bathroom to do so.

When you came back, Hoseok was sitting on the edge of your bed.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” You asked, sitting beside him.

He opened the ice cream tub, setting the lid on the desk and handing you one of the spoons.

“I was thinking you could talk more, actually; about how you feel," he replied, giving you the tub and angling himself to face you. "I just want to listen to you this time."

You gave a brief smile before spooning a small piece of ice cream into your mouth.

“Well, I just feel like we’re in this grey area of being really close but having sex. And we both like each other, and we said at the venue, and I just feel like we should just date then.” You set the ice cream and spoon down on the desk. “I get that work complicates things for you. But once we’ve confessed our feelings, I just don’t know what to call this—this friendship?”

Hoseok nodded.

"So, if you don't want to date, that's completely fine. I understand. However, we can't keep having sex like we used to; because I have feelings for you now, and you said you do too, so it's not a good mix."

“That’s fair,” he acknowledged.

“But what do you think? Like, how do you feel about us?” You asked.

He paused and set his spoon on the desk with yours. “I want to date you, Y/N. I just don’t want to get you hurt.” He softly grasped your hands. “The industry can be toxic, and I don’t want to subject you to that.”

“I understand,” you replied, “but I want to date you too, regardless of all the other bullshit. As cheesy as it sounds, all I want is you, Hoseok.”

Hoseok smiled but then pretended to gag.

“Hobi! I was romantic."

“Sorry, but that was so cheesy.” He cringed.

“So, do you want to just start dating, then?” You proposed. “We have the ice cream here; we can pretend to get to know each other more.”

He chuckled. “Sure. Let’s do that.”

Hoseok stood up and held his hand out to you. “Y/N Y/L, will you go on a date with me?”

You laughed but composed yourself. “I would love to, Jung Hoseok.” You took his hand, and he immediately sat back down.

“So, Y/N,” Hoseok began, handing you the partially melted ice cream and your spoon, “what do you like to do on the weekends?”

.

.

1 year later.

“I’m thinking of moving to Korea,” you said. Hoseok turned to you, surprised. “Really? But you’re not based here.” “I know,” you acknowledged, “but I can fly in and skype, or whatever. I can have a home base here, too.” You were visiting Hoseok for a couple weeks before you had to go back home for a clothing launch. Both of you were cuddling at his place when you brought up your idea of moving to Korea. “Of course, it wouldn’t be immediate. I would need to sort things out with Westley and Rachel and organize a place to stay here and a work area. The company is sturdy enough to handle the change.” You reasoned. “You could move in with me,” he suggested, turning his body to face you. “Are you sure?” “Yeah, why not. We’ve been dating for a while now, and it makes sense.” He shrugged. “Unless you don’t want to.” You kissed him. “No, I want to.” Both of you discussed what your move would be like and imagined living together. If you were to look back at how your relationship with Hoseok progressed, you would be shocked. In a matter of a few months, you and Hoseok went from friends to romantic partners. Although you had not come out publicly about your relationship, many people had a sense it existed; but that didn’t matter. You and Hoseok were in a secure and healthy relationship. It was long distanced, but you two made it work by visiting each other when you could and calling almost every day. The only thing that didn’t change was the sex—although it had gotten better. Nevertheless, so much has happened over the past year. And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[babymetaldoll]

Act one (Spencer Reid/ Reader)

Requested: Yes. Hello hello @meowiemari​ 

Summary: Spencer's girlfriend is a sweetheart, but he discovers a new side of her when she gets the lead on a play, and she portraits an unsub.

Category: Hardcore fluff 💜 (you know that's how we roll here)

Warnings: Maybe a little cursing here and there, but that's it.

Word count: 3,7K

Masterlist

************************************************************

Spencer's girlfriend was a sweetheart. (Y/N) was the kind of girl who you thought might actually be a Disney princess in a different universe. She was adorable. Garcia was crazy for her, Morgan adored her, JJ thought of her as a little sister, and Prentiss always tried (and failed) to make (Y/N) curse once each time she saw her. They loved her.

And, of course, Spencer loved his girlfriend. He couldn't deny it. He didn't even try to do it. He knew he was young. He was just 25, after all. But he already knew she was the love of her life. Derek would always tease him about it, joking about how he was ready to propose to her, even after just six months of dating.

Spencer would laugh, but deep down, he knew Derek was right. (Y/N) was just perfect for him. She was the sweetest girl everywhere she went. That's why everybody was in shock when over dinner in Penelope's, she announced to the team she might play a serial killer in a play she was putting on with her drama group.

- "Oh, honey"- Penelope smiled and caressed her hand on the table- "There's no way you can actually pull that off."

- "What? Why?"- (Y/N) asked, confused, as the whole team nodded in agreement with Garcia's words.

- "You are too sweet to portray a killer nurse!"- Prentiss added

- "Well, I am not going actually to do it. I have to learn my lines and all, but I'm the substitute for the part."

- "Substitute?"- Spencer frowned, in shock- "What do you mean? You are amazing!"

- "Yeah, well, apparently not as amazing as Rachel Cooper. She got the lead role, again."- (Y/N) smiled and took a sip of her wine- "But, anyway, if anything happens, it's on, and I'll play a mass murderer nurse."

- "You are too sweet for that role, baby face"- Derek smiled at his friend and shook his head- "But you'd make an amazing job."

- "Thank you, Morgan. It's a little upsetting, 'cos I know I could do great. But well, I guess Rachel Cooper is gonna do an amazing job, and everybody's gonna be happy. It's really a team effort after all, and we are all there to have fun."

- "See?"- Penelope pointed at her- "You are too sweet to portrait a serial killer."

Spencer held (Y/N)'s hand on their walk back to her place and kissed it several times. She blushed and smiled at him as they talked of anything and everything.

- "Please don't hate me, but I'm kind of glad you didn't get the part."- Spencer confessed when they were about to reach (Y/N)'s door.

- "Why?"- she didn't get what he was talking about, especially considering she was dying to get that role in that play.

- "Because the guys are right, you are too sweet to play a mass murderer."

- "That's the idea of acting, Spencer, portraying someone you are not, and making your best to fit the role and convince the audience."

(Y/N) whispered and sighed as they walked the last couple of steps in silence.

Reid felt he had ruined it.

- "I'm sorry, buttercup. I know you'd do a great job. I was just trying to cheer you up."

- "I know, honey. It's ok."- (Y/N) whispered and cut him a small smile. She knew he was sincere.

- "I'll call you tomorrow."- Spencer said as they said their goodbyes on her apartment's door.

- "I had a great time tonight."- she answered and felt his lips on her for a second. She sighed and leaned over to kiss him again as soon as Spencer moved from her. (Y/N) wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him for a moment.

- "I'm sorry you didn't get the part, (Y/N)."- Spencer murmured and looked into her eyes in adoration.

- "It's ok, Spencer."

- "You'd make an adorable killer nurse."- and she giggled as she felt his lips against hers. It was his favorite sound in the world, and it made Spencer feel butterflies in his whole body each time she laughed like that. So sweetly and bubbly.

- "You are just saying that 'cos you love me,"- she whispered and kissed him again. Spencer chuckled and thought he could love her even if she actually were a murderer.

During the next couple of weeks, (Y/N) divided her time after work between Spencer and rehearsals with her drama club. And each time she was at the theater, she was happy. She had a fantastic group of friends to have fun with. Except for Rachel Cooper. She was the exception of the whole gang. Actually, no one really liked her much. She had a nasty attitude toward everybody in the club. She acted like life was still the same as it was in high school. She thought she was one of the popular girls, and no one could mess with her.

No one but karma, apparently.

- "(Y/N)!! (Y/N)!! Where the hell are you?!"- everybody in the place could hear Rachel yelling backstage, looking for (Y/N).

- "I'm here! What is it?"- the girl waved and continued painting part of the background of the play.

- "I need you to sew my dress!"- Rachel commanded and literally threw her outfit on (Y/N)'s face.

- "You were supposed to have it done already! The premier is tomorrow!"

(Y/N) sighed and smiled at Rachel. Of all the people in the club, (Y/N) was the only one who didn't hate her. If anything, (Y/N) was the only one who was still somehow friendly with her. Why? 'Cos she couldn't' help it. She was just too nice for her own good.

- "Give me ten minutes, Rachel. You'll have it ready for the rehearsal"- (Y/N) answered and smiled- "Just let me wash my hands. I don't want this to be all covered with paint."

- "You better don't!"- Rachel mumbled and walked away.

- "How on earth can you be so nice with that bitch?!"- Tina turned to (Y/N) and raised an eyebrow- "Each time I hear her talk, I have to make a major effort not to break her fake nose against a wall"

- "Come on!"- (Y/N) frowned and shook her head- "She is just nervous. She is the lead. You know that can get to you when you are performing."

- "She was born being the lead. The lead witch of the meanest coven I've ever seen"- Tina added and shook her head- "Honey, you are too sweet with her, and people like her eat nice girls like you for breakfast.·

- "I'm not gonna change who I am just 'cos she is mean. And she hasn't done anything to me."

- "(Y/N)!"- Rachel yelled- "That dress is not going to sew itself!"- Tina looked at (Y/N) right into the eyes, and the girl just smiled.

- "She is just nervous. Don't be mean."

But Rachel wasn't friendly. Not with (Y/N), and not with anyone in the whole club. For twenty-two years old, she could be very juvenile. (Y/N) could understand her, though. She didn't know why, but she couldn't be mad at Rachel. If anything, she felt sorry for her. (Y/N) was sure it had to be a burden to be like that, and she bet Rachel didn't know better.

- "Hello?"- (Y/N) walked into Rachel's dressing room and picked up the phone, excited to read Spencer's name on the screen.

- "Hello princess, how are you?"

- "Hello honey, I miss you so much."- (Y/N) replied and nearly sighed just by hearing Spencer's voice at the other side of the line.

- "I miss you too, Bunny. I'm calling from the airport with good news, though. We are on our way back home."

- "Really? You caught the bad guy?!"- the way (Y/N) asked about the case made her sound younger and more naive than she was. Spencer smiled and blushed, imagining her shiny eyes and her excited face. Rachel cleared the throat and handed (Y/N) the dress and the sewing kit.

- "Yes, we'll be back home tonight, so do you wanna grab a late dinner with me?"

- "Of course! I'm in rehearsal right now, wanna meet at my place? I'll ask for some take-out from your favorite Korean place."

- "Sounds like a plan. See you later, princess."

- "I love you, Spencer."

- "I love you too."- Rachel rolled her eyes as (Y/N) placed her phone back in her pocket and started sewing her dress.

- "So, you have a boyfriend?"- the way Rachel asked that question made it sound like it was something shocking and improbable to happen.

- "Yes, Spencer and I have been dating for over half a year already,"- (Y/N) answered proudly

- "Spencer, uh?"- Rachel repeated his name and looked at (Y/N), raising an eyebrow- "And what does he do?"

- "He works at the FBI"- the girl answered with a big proud smile- "He is a profiler at the BAU."

- "What does that mean? Does he makes good money?"

(Y/N) chuckled and shook her head. She didn't even know if Spencer made good money or not at his job. But she knew the most important thing about it: that he loved what he did for a living and that he was happy going to work every day, 'cos he had the chance to save people's lives.

- "He analyzes the behavior of mass murderers and catches serial killers."- (Y/N) explained with pride in her voice- "He has been out of town for two weeks, and he just called to tell me he is coming back home."

- "Does he travel often?"- Rachel asked and raised an eyebrow staring at (Y/N), who smiled and nodded, sewing her dress.

- "Yes, he and the team have to work across the country."

- "So, how do you deal with all the cheating?"

- "What?"- (Y/N) frowned and looked at Rachel for a moment, confused and shocked by her words.

- "Oh, come ok, honey. If he travels so much, it's only obvious he must have some flings now and then. After all, he is a man."

- "You don't know Spencer. He is not like that"- (Y/N) answered and returned to her job. Rachel stood up and sighed.

- "Oh honey, I know men, and they are all the same. They can't keep it in their pants."

And after those poisonous words, Rachel chuckled and walked out of the room.

(Y/N) tried not to think about what she had just heard. Instead, she continued sewing and repeated to herself Rachel had no idea what she was talking about. It was clear someone had broken her heart, and now Rachel couldn't trust anyone. Maybe she didn't want anyone to trust anyone anymore. Whatever was the reason, (Y/N) felt it didn't mean Rachel was a bad person, only someone who had gone through some bad situation that had gotten the best of her.

(Y/N) made a mental note to invite her for ice cream or some tea after the play and talk. Maybe what Rachel needed was a friend.

- "Help!! Help me!"- someone yelling took (Y/N) from her thoughts and made her jump from her spot and run outside.

- "Help me! Please!!"

- "What happened?"- (Y/N) and the rest of the drama club found Rachel on the floor, crying in pain.

- "I was trying on the shoes for the play, and I think I sprained my ankle!"- Rachel yelled and hit the floor- "Call a fucking medic!"

- "Fucking call a medic yourself!"- Tina answered and turned around- "You have a fucking cellphone in your hand. Probably you fell 'cos you were too busy taking selfies to look where you were going."

- "I'll help you. Just stay still."- (Y/N) whispered and kneeled next to Rachel- "Let me get you some ice."

- "Hurry up!!"- Rachel grunted, crying. Tina rolled her eyes and turned around to go back to what she was doing.

- "That bitch doesn't deserve your help."

- "I need your help!"- (Y/N) nearly tackled Spencer as soon as he showed up at her door later that night.

- "Hello to you too, princess"- he answered and kissed her lips, chuckling.

- "Sorry, hi, how are you? How was your flight?"- she asked all the questions at once as she held his hand and crawled him into her apartment.

- "I'm so happy to see you!"- he said and smiled, keeping his eyes on her. (Y/N) walked around, searching for something.

- "Here!"- and when she found it, she handed it to Spencer and smiled- "I need your help!"

- "What is it, bunny?"

- "Remember the play I'm in? That I'm the substitute for the lead role?"

- "Yes, I remember."

- "The play is tomorrow, and two hours ago, Rachel Cooper sprained her ankle doing wardrobe fitting. And now I am going to be the mass murdered nurse killing it in the play!"- (Y/N) smiled and hugged Spencer.

- "Oh! But I feel so bad Rachel is hurt. I sent her chocolates and flowers. I hope that cheer her up a little bit."

- "Wait, wait, wait! Are you telling me my girlfriend is going to be the lead in the play?"- Spencer asked her, surprised. (Y/N) just nodded frenetically, and he hugged her again.

- "Buttercup! This is great!"

- "But I need your help with my lines! Please help me, Obi-Wan."

- "I'm guessing those are not your line."- Spencer joked, and (Y/N) giggled.

- " I only had one whole rehearsal today, and that's it. I need to work on my lines with someone for tomorrow."

Spencer stared at her excited and happy smile, and it didn't matter that he was exhausted from the travel and the last two weeks of work. He couldn't say no to that smile.

- "Of course I'll help you!"- (Y/N) clapped and jumped on her stop.

- "Thank you so much!"

- "But please tell me you got me tickets for tomorrow."

- "For you and the rest of the team, if they want to go."- (Y/N) replied and kissed her boyfriend's lips- "Thank you, Spencer. You are the best."

The next evening, Spencer dragged the whole team along with him to see (Y/N)'s play. He had never been more excited about going to the theater before. He had bought (Y/N) flowers, and he made sure to have the best seats in the whole place.

- "Ok, pretty boy,"- Morgan chuckled as he noticed Spencer kept fidgeting his fingers nonstop- "Why are you so nervous? It's just a play for fun."

- "I don't know. I just want (Y/N) to enjoy her time and be proud of what she does."

- "I'm sure she will"- Penelope smiled at Reid and tapped on his arm- "I'm just scared she is too sweet to portrait an unsub."

- "Yeah, me too!"- JJ whispered and shook her head.

- "But the kid is a good actress, and she is going to be great,"- Derek added and turned to Spencer- "You've seen her acting before. Is she good?"

- "Yes, very."

- "You are not a reliable source"- Prentiss argued and opened a bag of jelly beans- "You are having sex with her. You are not objective."

Spencer wanted to argue with Emily, but he couldn't even make a sound. He felt so embarrassed and mortified with Prentiss's comment, and he couldn't even talk about the subject.

The lights went out, and the audience started clapping. Spencer's stomach tightened as he held his breath. He was more nervous than (Y/N) was, and she was the one walking into the stage that very same second.

An hour had passed, and Spencer Walter Reid couldn't move. He was glued to his seat, and his eyes could barely even blink. He was hypnotized by the beauty of the woman on that stage. A woman who looked so much like his girlfriend but acted entirely differently.

Was it wrong to feel so attracted by someone who was portraying a mass murderer? Was it considered cheating being drawn in such a profound way to someone who was nothing like his girlfriend, even when it was actually his girlfriend?

Spencer couldn't move. He could barely register what was going on around him and how Penelope giggled when she noticed (Y/N) hypnotized Reid in a way that only a man under a spell could be.

And that spell was lust.

When the play was over, Spencer stood up and clapped until his hands hurt. (Y/N) looked at him and smiled sweetly, thinking she couldn't believe what had just happened. She was the lead role on a play, and she nailed it. She had killed it. Literally, 'cos she had killed pretty much the whole cast during the show. She had been someone completely different than she was in real life, and she loved it. It had been fun, and she felt proud of her job.

- "Munchkin!!"- Penelope yelled as soon as she saw (Y/N) walking to them backstage- "You were amazing!!"

- "Thank you so much, Penelope!!"- (Y/N) chuckled and hugged her friend- "I'm so happy you are all here!"

- "You are the only unsub we are looking for tonight, pretty girl!"- Derek hugged her too, and his words made her laugh

- "You are definitely some actress! I couldn't believe that was really you!"

(Y/N) knew she was blushing as Emily complimented her acting. The girl nodded and hugged JJ, to then look behind her friend to find one shy Spencer Reid staring at her in deep love and adoration.

- "Hi. I think I saw you clapping in the audience,"- (Y/N) joked and walked over to Spencer. He opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came from his lips, 'cos his eyes were on (Y/N)'s clothing.

She was still wearing the nurse outfit from the play. And though it wasn't necessarily sexy (not in the sexy nurse costume you usually see), it did things to him. Things Spencer had to suppress to act like a human being of his friends were there too.

- "You were incredible"- that was all Reid could mumble as he hugged his girlfriend and gave her the flowers he had gotten for her.

- "Thank you, honey"- (Y/N) hugged him and noticed how his arms held her tighter and closer. She knew Spencer wasn't very comfortable being physical with her around his friends, especially around Derek, 'cos he would tease them until Garcia smacked him.

But that night, Spencer didn't really care. In fact, he couldn't help it. He needed to feel her, to touch her, to kiss her. And so he did. He kissed (Y/N) slowly at first, his lips recognizing hers and enjoying her softness. But within seconds, his kiss got hungrier and more passionate. It was a kiss that he had been imagining for the last hour and a half, watching her acting. And he didn't know how to control that passion anymore.

- "Woo, kid! Slow down!"- Derek chuckled and started joking, but Spencer didn't even pay attention to him. His hands held (Y/N) closer, cupping her face against him, making her moan softly.

- "Ok, ok, please stop! This is disturbing!!"- Garcia complained, but they didn't break the kiss either- "Ok, we'll wait outside, come on, Derek!"

- "Kid, what's..."- But Morgan couldn't continue making fun of Spencer, 'cos Penelope literally dragged him outside, along with Emily and JJ, who were laughing.

(Y/N) giggled, but Spencer didn't break the kiss. His tongue played between her lips slowly, and his hands moved slowly down her back until they reached her waist.

- "I have the feeling you really like me on this play,"- (Y/N) whispered, as her lips rubbed her boyfriend's as she spoke. He chuckled and nodded, deepening the kiss again.

- "Very much."

- "Is it the outfit?"- (Y/N) asked and rested her forehead against Spencer's. He sighed and looked at her for a second.

- "If I have to be honest, I think it was the whole thing,"- he confessed, blushing. For someone who had shamelessly made out with his girlfriend in the middle of a room filled with strangers, he was suddenly timid.

- "You were so different, and... please don't get me wrong. I love you, and I love who you are. But the way you acted... how you played the role of a mean girl..."

- "Did that turn you on?"- (Y/N) whispered, feeling her cheeks turning all shades of pink. Spencer chuckled and bit his lips. He couldn't even speak, so he just nodded and looked at his girlfriend.

- "Do you wanna know something that might make you happy?"

- "What?"- even when they were incredibly close, and no one could hear what they were talking about, (Y/N) leaned in and whispered in his ear.

- "Rachel Cooper's outfit didn't fit me, so I had to buy this one. Which means, I'm gonna take this nurse back home with me, in case you wanna play with her later"- Spencer wide opened his eyes and looked at her, gulping.

- "Really?"

- "Yes, Doctor Reid. Now I suggest you be good and behave in front of your friends. We'll talk about this when we are back in my place. Ok?"- Spencer's words got caught in his throat when he heard (Y/N) giving him commands. All he managed to do was to nod, and her lips sealed the deal with a hot sloppy kiss.

Who could have imagined two nice kids were going to find out they were both pretty dirty at the very same time?

*****************************

Taglist: 

@all-tings-diego​ @calm-and-doctor​