#and tbh once you get rid of those it's pretty easy to go the full veg ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[itstimeforstarwars]

Looking into plant-based lifestyles will have you googling shit like "is store-bought blueberry juice vegan" and sometimes the answer is no.

[mellowswriting]

Sweet but Fierce S/O

**some of these are more blurbs than headcanons... what can I say, it got away from me

Mando: 

The duality is something Mando sees often with you, and he can’t deny that he loves it. You aren’t just sweet and soft with him, an experienced bounty hunter who by definition was the opposite of soft, but you were so good with the Child. You could get him to sleep like you had cast a spell over him, fed and played and talked with him as if you could actually understand his babbling. Soft and sweet wasn’t something Mando saw often in his life and now he can’t get enough of it.

But Mando is familiar with fierce, and seeing the way you protect the Child and his beskar-clad father? It honestly turns him on beyond comprehension. How can the same hands that provide comfort and care so readily also viciously break the bones in the wrist of someone unfortunate enough to have made a grab for the Child? How can the same hands that make warm, delicious food for your little clan (a habit you picked up after balking at Mando’s tendency to survive solely on ration bars) also steadily hold a blaster to the temple of an idiot who tried to remove Mando’s helmet?

As a Mandalorian, he is so used to the world being black and white, either or. Every bit of you is refreshing to him - the considerate gestures, the soothing touches, the biting need to protect those you love. It’s a precious quality. 

It’s also incredibly attractive. Mandalorian culture is based in caring for and protecting children, so seeing you so fiercely loving?? Basically it makes him want to rail you into oblivion, but that’s neither here nor there. 

Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales:

Frankie could use a little sweetness in his life. It’s been a tough time, coming back from all that shit that went down in South America. He was closer than ever with the boys of course, but something was missing. He needed something more. So when Pope introduced you to him at his barbeque, Frankie was beyond interested.

It was a whirlwind, falling in love with you. You changed his life in the best ways; taught him which yoga poses would help with his achy back, filled his house with soft blankets and delicious coffees, listened to him ramble on as he drove. And the way you talked about your work, your career? It’s enamoring. 

Your work is how he gets to see that fierce side. The two of you were out to lunch when your phone rang - it was one of your clients, apparently dealing with some sort of crisis. Frankie couldn’t deny you when you asked him to drive you to her home, especially since he had driven you to the small restaurant. Frankie leans against his car door as you go up to her house. 

Apparently her landlord was illegally trying to evict her. You have no issue getting in his face and telling him with a terrifying kind of calm that you have no issue calling the police and your company’s lawyers. You’ll have him buried in litigation and fines for the next decade if he doesn’t stop being a greedy piece of shit and go about his day elsewhere. If that wasn’t enough to have Frankie wide eyed (and drooling just a bit tbh), you seem to fall right back into your sweet self as you calm your client and reassure her that all will be fine. 

Hell, maybe Frankie could use a little spitfire in his life, too.

Javier Peña:

How? Just. How?

Javier doesn't understand how you've managed to be so sweet when surrounded by the shit you both worked with everyday. Your eyes are so bright and soft, your smiles easy and pure, every gesture full of unwavering kindness. Working in admin meant you saw all of the reports, all of the gruesome pictures of the aftermath of Escobar’s men. So again: how?

Christ, you always offer to get coffees for him and Murphy on those endlessly long days where every lead seems to fizzle out and he wants nothing more than to put his hand through a wall. Your presence is a bright spot in the office, even when the rain clouds hang heavy around his head. 

Javier seeks you out on those bad days. It isn’t intentional - usually, at least. He’ll tell Murphy he needs to go for a walk before he starts throwing things and will find himself at your desk with you looking up at him with those big, soft eyes and asking if you can help at all. If only he had the words to tell you that your presence was helpful in and of itself. 

Eventually Murphy gets onto him about it, tells him to just ask you out already because he’s tired of the longing. So Javi bucks up and makes his way to your desk with a surprising amount of nerves in his stomach. Fuck, how long had it been since he asked someone on an actual date and not just out to drinks as a prelude to fucking?

The sight of Agent Buchanan perched slightly on the edge of your desk gives him pause. The man is obviously laying on the charm and Javi is about to turn on his heel when he notices how uncomfortable you look. Javi’s eyes narrow because seriously? This dude is gonna fuck with the one literal ray of sunshine in the office? Buchanan leans forward and places his hand on your thigh and that’s when Javier is marching forward to break his spine in fucking half…

Before he can even get to you, you slip your fingers under his and give him that soft, sweet smile… and Buchanan’s middle finger is shoved back at a vicious angle. Over his pained sounds, Javier can hear the anger in your voice. “I said no thank you, asshole.”

Holy fuck. If Javier was interested before, he’s downright obsessed now. 

And as always, the honorable mention of Javier’s innocence kink. 

Ezra: 

At first Ezra thinks it's some sort of bluff, the charming and easygoing nature you portrayed. When you came across him in the Green wounded and in dire need of a new filter and probably a meal or two, you just… helped him. His very own partner left him for dead, and here you were, offering him a lifeline without expecting anything in return.

Yeah, no. That’s not something that happens, especially not in the Green.

He isn’t afraid to call you on it, either. This man is straight and to the point in every aspect of his life, might as well do the same in his death instead of getting jerked around. But you just… grinned, all conspiratorial, and whispered, “I’m actually just using you for good karma. This is a selfish act, don’t worry.” 

Huh.

It takes Ezra a moment to be assured that you aren’t playing some kind of long con as you nurse him back to health. You still clean his wounds and force him to take medication to help his lungs recover from the toxic air with confidence and ease despite his untrusting looks. Once he gets over his fears, there’s no getting rid of him. Ezra likes you. He likes the sweetness, the gentle touches. That’s why he offers you his partnership and beams when you accept.

Besides simply liking you, your kindness is a rarity that sparks a deep need in Ezra to keep you safe, protected. The idea of you harvesting on your own with no one to watch your back makes him feel sick to his stomach.

It’s the third day he’s out harvesting with you that he realizes you absolutely do not need his protection. You hear the duo approaching before Ezra does and immediately shove him into the raised, gnarled roots behind a tree - and the shot that would’ve caught him in the chest flies harmlessly past. Before Ezra can tell you to stay put and let him handle it, you’re scrambling out from behind the tree and he can hear the sound of your thrower discharging and a body crumpling to the ground. 

Ezra shoots out to help but you’re trying to wrestle the other man to the ground and Kevva damnit, he can’t get a clear shot with all that writhing about. Just as he goes to jump into the mix, whatever hold you have on the man straightens his arm out behind his back in a harsh, unforgiving line. The man’s thrower slips from his incapacitated hand and the sight of you snatching up midair and firing it right through his helmet has to be the most erotic thing Ezra has ever seen.

You can expect this man to wax poetic about the twofold of your personality for hours. Goes on and on about how he loves seeing the different ways you light up: in passion, in pleasure, in anger. It’s downright titillating. 

Marcus Pike:

Working with you gives leaves Marcus in the perfect position to see both sides. You’re so compassionate with the victims as you guide them through the legal processes but you also look ridiculously hot with a gun in your hand. Or while you pull on your bulletproof vest. Or when you’re strapping a holster to your thigh.

What can he say, Marcus can’t get enough of you either way. 

He loves when you give him that grateful smile when he brings you a coffee. The shoulder rubs you give him when he’s been sitting at his desk for too long leave him hazy with a mix of love and pleasure. The way you open your arms up for him to crawl into bed, still half asleep but still wanting him against you… it was pure heaven. 

Marcus also loves the hard edge in your voice when you’re interrogating a suspect. He loves the fire in your eyes when he wraps a hand around your throat and growls out exactly what he’s going to do to you, that bratty energy radiating off you and filling him with the need to break you down until he gets to see the pretty, begging glimmer of his sweet little thing again. 

Max Phillips:

Max is the kind of man who loves having a pretty, wide eyed thing beneath him, watching their face morph into that surprised pleasure. That’s exactly what he’s gonna get from you, too. He just knows it.

You’re the kind of person everyone loves working with, always offering a smile and kind words throughout the day. You work so hard and so diligently, that work ethic is something that leaves you offering your assistance when you’ve finished up before closing time. Max thrives on those moments where you peek into his office and ask if there’s anything he needs - maybe a coffee or some help with some paperwork. 

One day he decides, fuck it. Throws caution to the wind because hey, this is Max fucking Phillips we’re talking about here. So he waves you in when you pop by, lets you sit in one of the chairs on the other side of his desk, and whispers “You can help by bending that pretty little ass over my desk.”, his hands braced on either armrest. 

The last thing Max expects is a harsh smack across his face. He stumbles back, eyes wide as you stand and glare at him. “Go fuck yourself, Phillips.” 

Okay, yeah. He deserved that. The great thing about him, though? Max also loves the chase. And what could be better than slowly but surely convincing you that the best thing for you is letting him rail you into oblivion? 

Pero Tovar:

Before he sees that fierce side of you, Pero keeps his distance. He’s a sellsword for god’s sake, he feels he has no business around such softness. He’ll hurt you, he’s sure of it. But that doesn’t stop him from looking. Pero often sees you in the market and every time, you take his breath away. You could usually be found aiding an elder in gathering their shopping into their carts or kneeling down to speak with the local children running amok.

As a man who spent his life surrounded by battle and hardship, it was a nice change.

It wasn’t long until he caught your eye, and Pero floundered. He didn’t know what to do with that first small gesture - he just stared at you when you offered him a small bundle of cheeses and meat to aid him on his two month long journey he was about to set off on. Of course he later cursed himself for the stunned silence he offered in response to your well wishes and the small wave you gave before you left him standing like a fool next to his horse. 

Pero would thank you properly when he returned, that was the resolve he came to while away. You deserved to hear the words at the very least. He takes a moment to clean up before he sets out to find you, not wanting you to see him covered in grime, and as always, he spots you within moments of entering the village. Except something is… off. Your face through the shop window lacks it’s usual brightness, your eyebrows pinched together, something akin to fear replacing the brightness your eyes usually held. That’s when Pero realizes there’s a man holding a dagger to the shopkeeper and demanding the man's coin. 

By the time Pero has his own dagger in hand and shoves through the door, the man is already crumpling to the ground from the harsh kick you landed at the back of his knee. Pero watches in  awe as you take advantage of his confusion to snatch the blade from his hand and point it at him with your foot pressed firm to his back. 

Despite just how amazing you look like that, Pero takes over quickly, wanting you out of harm’s way immediately. The assailant is taken care of after a small struggle and when you rush towards him to make sure he isn’t hurt, a fire lights in his belly. As you fret over him, your soft hands searching for any harm to his scarred, calloused skin, Pero knows. He’s found his person, he can feel it in his gut, deep in his bones. 

[jaideite]

Main 1-A (shoto, izuku, bakuhoe, and Iida) boys playing Minecraft with their s/o

*cries in ender pearls* I’m such a loser cause I don’t even remember most of everything that goes on in minecraft. Don’t @ me if something is wrong. Debating if I should buy Minecraft on my phone and play it

i felt bad bc i haven’t posted any good content so heres an old request ima shoot out the inbox for y’all I’m probably so rusty KWKD :(( <3

first time writing for Iida let’s see how well we do hMM ;))

TODOROKI, BAKUGOU, MIDORIYA AND IIDA PLAYING MINECRAFT WITH THEIR S/O (PLUS MIRIO TOGATA)

SHOTO TODOROKI

— doesn’t understand a single thing but still plays because you do

— he spawned into the world and moved two spaces

— he fell into a cave and survived

— then died because a cave spider attacked him

— “That’s rough buddy.”

— He’s one of those people who mines straight down and finds a whole bunch of diamonds

— “What are these light blue things in the stones?”

— “It’s an ore for a gem. You mine them and you get diamonds or emeralds. Is it like a really light blue?”

— you’re on like the other side of the cave you both went into so you can’t go over and mine them with a certain pickaxe you made specifically for mining

— you’re pissed because you always struggle to find them and here he is breaking the first rule of Minecraft and finding them

— jerk

— “So I should just get rid of them?”

— “Well I mean—“

— he throws them in lava and they make that burning “sss” sound and you just slowly look up at him from your screen

— “Shoto...what did you do with the diamonds?”

— he kinda just “oops” from his side of the room and you just rub your hands over your face and sigh

— “Oh god I’m in for a rude awakening.”

— he makes an underground farm and house and has collected sea lanterns as lights

— has collected all the diamonds in the world I’m not even kidding he just followed your rule of mining them with the gem pickaxe and diddly doo went off

— “This world sucks there are no diamonds.”

— “Oh I have some in the chest by my crafting table.”

— it’s literally a large chest and it’s full of diamonds

— like STACKS 64 DIAMONDS ALL TOGETHER

— you are just shook

— “sHOTO HOW—“

— lives in the side of a mountain too it’s actually kinda cute cause he used like stairs as chairs and stuff

— unless y’all are playing with some type of mod that allows chairs then other than that pfft your little “house” is decked out just like his bedroom

— your Minecraft beds are right next to each other too

— he thinks it’s romantic

— kinda looks more like an apartment lmaoo

— he’s more of a peaceful Minecraft player but he can survive survival mode if being asked to play

KATSUKI BAKUGOU

— blows everything up

— but not with TNT and flint and steel oh no that’s too easy for him

— the easy way is not for him

— he’s going to learn how to set redstone traps so you walk into them and don’t know

— you walk into your house and you hear the click

— “What just—“

— next thing you know your getting eaten by endermites that have been spawned in

— or your screen just freezes because of all the explosions that go off

— “No No No my stuff—“

— you just watch from the ‘respawn’ screen while he moves into your house to steal your stuff

— “Haha, I knew you had some good shit in here—fucking taking these— what the hell is hitting me—OH SHIT! NO FUCK OFF STUPID RAT LOOKING FUCKS NO DON’T FUCKING KILL ME—“

— your rolling on the floor at the situation of him raging cause the endermites killed him

— katsuki works hard but karma works harder bitch

— raids your stuff when all else fails

— “YOU TOOK ALL MY DIAMONDS?!”

— “They’re mine now bitch.”

— he is a survival mode player only

— no exceptions

— plays it at the hardest level and rages when he dies but manages to get the hang of it after a while

— the meanest and worst minecraft player to ever play with

— and on top of it all he only plays so he has your attention

— what a clown i swear

IZUKU MIDORIYA

— best one to play with tbh only second to mirio

— knows the basics and a little more

— if he made his own world he could survive pretty decently

— he keeps a notebook on the world you guys share with all the weapons and stuff you could need

— has memorized the most important potions needed like invisibility, etc.

— when you first made the world you had an icon that looked like you so you were looking for a little green haired character amongst the grass (assuming that’s where y’all spawned)

— and you are just so confused cause where is he

— “Izuku where the heck are you?”

— “By the flowers and grass.”

— “Oh no wonder I didn’t see you your hair probably—“

— and like once you finally get to the flowers you see him (or his character) and you just stop in your tracks

— cause there’s a tall, buff pixelated All Might staring back at you

— “Izuku—you know what? I ain’t even surprised.“

— “Haha...sorry.”

— you had to turn away because oh god the face on that thing was going to give you nightmares

— the armour—oh goodness the armour

— of course it’s customized to look like All Mights hero costume

— other than that—he’s a decent Minecraft player

— he has a secret world where he has built the city and all might fighting the villains

— it’s a huge flat world and it’s dedicated to all might

— he can survive pretty well at going off mining on his own but he won’t go without you just in case he dies and loses his stuff

— gets excited when he finds ores especially diamonds

— you get excited when you find emeralds because

— “Oh my god Izuku the emeralds look like your eyes.”

— all_mights_1_fan has left the game

— “Oh wow.”

TENYA IIDA

— y’all know those Minecraft books that they used to have that used to help you with like enchantments and stuff?

— Thats Iida

— he plays by the books

— has the complete handbook collection

— I do too lmaooo

— you ask him does he want to play and he just ??

— two days later he’s knocking at your door with the books in hand ready to play

— “I would suggest you go over these should we play!”

— “...Tenya—“

— when you guys play he immediately wants the rules

— “Theres only one.”

— “One—“

— “Don’t dig straight down.”

— he just stares at you mouth agape before he just starts going oFF

— “That rule is absurd! Surely there are more—“

— “NOpe that’s how you play.”

— he’s just ??

— no wonder you’re so chaotic you play games with oNE RULE

— what kind of g a m e has o n e r u l e ?

— so you guys are playing and yknow Iida isn’t having the best of luck

— he’s fallen into caves, burned by lava, and been buried alive by gravel and sand

— lowkey kinda feel bad for him lmaoo

— “This game is chaotic! At least these strange green fellows are coming to greet me.”

— “Strange green fellows?”

— “Yes! Some have no clothing on, but that’s alright!”

— you’re confused for a bit until it just it’s you

— “IIDA, NO, RUN, NO OH GOD DONT—“

— when the first creeper explodes and he goes flying and he starts scolding it for doing that you know you’re in for a ride

MIRIO TOGATA

— also best person to play with

— a combination of everyone lmaoo

— he’s like midoriya except no notebooks

— can also survive on his own but like not in hard mode like katsuki that demon

— you guys play mini games like bedwars and are definitely a couples teams just like in real life

— you guys are like pros at playing

— “Get that blue bed guy over there.”

— “You have a yellow bed behind you, watch out!”

— wholesome is what it is

— if you are like me and just chaotic at Minecraft and life

— which includes missing almost everything, forgetting the names of stuff, and building a little house on the side of a mountain for the next seven days and being scared of everything

— “Babe where are you?”

— “Uh...I’m... I’m in a cave.”

— “We are in the jungle how are you—“

— “I saw a pig and I wanted to kill it and on the way I just dropped into a hole in the ground.”

— poor mirio is just exasperated

— oh boy y’all are in for a ride

— best therapy for him if he gets depressed about the losing his quirk

[sunsetsover]

i’d love to read one of your posts about ben’s actions tonight? like, we all understand /why/ but you have such a lovely way with words and i like pain. thanks 🥺

thank you, you’re so sweet!! usually i like to answer asks in order but imma let u skip the queue just this once bc this one’s time sensitive and ur so nice 🥺

so……. where do i even begin w this……..

the thing is ben has such horrible self esteem issues and a lot of ppl (both characters on the show and ppl in the audience) don’t realize that bc he comes across as very confident and bold and unfazed by anything, but the thing is….. that’s a front…….. he is not confident, he is not bold (not when it really matters) and he’s affected by pretty much everything. like massively so. what other people think of him - particularly people he cares about - affects not only how he sees himself, but also how he behaves. he seems to almost want to be a self fulfilling prophecy - remember how everyone thought it was ben who hit phil over the head, so ben was like ‘well seeing as though everyone thinks i tried to kill him, i might as well actually do it’?? yeah. he’s very susceptible to allowing other people’s opinions on him dictate his opinions of himself, as well as the course of action he ends up taking.

so it’s very easy to see how that lead to what happened with callum and their date. ian making a comment about it? well ben gives back as good as he gets, and this is ian we’re talking about, who is as obtuse as they come. but you see as ben leaves the beale’s that despite seeming unbothered by it, that comment actually got to him. it got him thinking: what if ian was right? what if he has a point? literally ben was already doubting himself after a snide comment from ian, that’s how affected he is by other people’s opinions (and also that’s how much he cares about callum!). and then you’ve got jay piling on top of that, and ok maybe his comments were innocuous and maybe he had a point, but with what ian had already said? the doubts really start taking hold. like maybe ian isn’t just full of shit, not if jay’s thinking the same thing - jay, who probably knows ben better than anyone. so maybe he and callum aren’t right for each other. maybe they won’t work.

and then you’ve got stuart who just puts the giant fucking nail in the coffin. he sets the disaster snowball rolling down the hill. and he does it in a really clever, manipulative way too (it’s a similar type of manipulation we see ben use on callum when he sold him that van!): he disarmed ben with an apology and with this newfound openmindedness, offers ben an olive branch by saying ‘i care about callum and i think you do too’ - essentially lowering ben’s guard - and then goes in with the ‘bad things happen around you so you need to stay away from callum because i don’t want happened to paul to happen to him’. and that undoubtedly completely fucks ben up - we didn’t even really need ian and jay putting doubts in his head before that tbh, i think what stuart said would have been enough to screw ben up on it’s own. and you know, i think even with ian and jay’s comments, if stuart hadn’t said what he said they might’ve been alright. ben might be a little bit off, but it probably would have been recoverable. but as soon as paul was mentioned - as soon as what happened to paul was mentioned - it was all bets off the table. we’ve seen how much paul’s death still affects ben, how much he still blames himself. so to have stuart basically insinuate that yeah, what happened to paul was somehow because of ben and that the same thing might happen to callum - someone that ben obviously really cares about - again because of ben? it was game over. stuart softened him up then went right for ben’s rawest spot. like how the fuck was he supposed to recover from that in a matter of hours?

and yeah, he probably should have done the decent thing and just cancelled. but that’s not how ben’s brain works. ee have already established that doing this exact thing is a pattern of behaviour for ben - he broke up w the guy he was seeing (that he was into!) in newcastle for the exact same reason he purposely sabotaged his date with callum: because he ‘had to, because if anything had got, like, serious, then [ben] would have ruined his life’. those are ben’s exactwords. now who does that sound like? what kind of paranoia is that kind of thinking feeding into? this is what ben thinks about himself. this is what ben worries he’s going to do to the men in his life. like this is what ben does!!! which is why it really surprised me that some ppl thought his behaviour yesterday was OOC. it seems to me that if anything this behaviour is perfectly in line with both his character and his previous actions. and to be perfectly honest, i think if ben hadn’t tried to deliberately fuck it up now, then he probably would have eventually. at least if he’s doing this right at the very beginning the two of them have a chance of working through it.

so why didn’t ben just cancel? well callum would’ve wanted an explanation. and what could ben have said, when he had been so up for it until then? ‘sorry, a few people have talked some sense into me and i realized i like you too much to ruin your life’? that wouldn’t have worked. ‘i changed my mind’? callum’s gonna ask why. ‘something came up’? callum might ask for another date. and ben clearly likes callum quite a bit, and he knows as well as we do that if callum had asked him out again, he probably wouldn’t have been able to say no. so he thinks: i have to break this until there’s no chance of recovery. i need to destroy any chance there is for us, get rid of any interest callum has in me. i need to make him angry at me, because then he’ll stay away from me. i need to make him hate me, because if he hates me at least he won’t be hurting. and if i do have to hurt him, it’s better to hurt him now rather than further down the line when it will hurt him ten times more. it’s flawed thinking, obviously, but ben’s a flawed man with a lot of issues and no self esteem who thinks that a) he doesn’t deserve someone like callum and b) that he’ll only end up hurting him, or that callum will end up hurt because of him. so in his own fucked up way, he was really trying to protect callum - from ben himself, and whatever pain ben’ll inevitably (as far as he’s concerned) end up inflicting on him. (and don’t forget paul and what happened to him was now at the forefront of his mind too, so i’m sure that only made him even more determined to make sure he gets callum as far away from him as possible.)

so what does he do? he completely fucking destroys this date. invites other people along, pays callum no attention, makes 0 effort, literally cops off with someone else in plain view and then makes it clear he’s not bothered what callum thinks about it (although it backfired a little bit bc callum’s such a sweetheart and also has no self esteem so he went the ‘no hard feelings’ route which must have infuriated ben bc like no!! he was supposed to kick off!! swear!!! call ben a bastard!!! anything but be so painfully understanding!!!!) and he does all of this to basically fuck their relationship up beyond repair. bc if he does that then callum will be able to move on and find someone else, someone kind and safe and normal who won’t hurt him or fuck it up.

and i know it won’t make sense to some people, but he did all of it with the best intentions. with callum’s feelings in mind, not ben’s own - in fact, ben’s feelings and what he wants are practically redundant in this situation bc he’s so set on doing what he thinks is the best thing for callum. what ben wants and feels about it doesn’t matter.

and he manages to do a pretty good job of ignoring his feelings up until the very end, when he’s essentially alone. then - and only then - do we get to see how fucking upset ben is about the whole thing. like he’s sitting there drinking by himself trying not to cry! he’s fucking heartbroken! because his actions during the date, that wasn’t him wanting to be cruel or vindictive or hurt callum. that was him trying to protect callum (and i know, i know not everyone will understand or agree with that but i promise you that’s exactly what he was trying to do). his own happiness, his own feelings, they don’t matter. he’s fucking devastated, but it doesn’t matter. callum is safe now. he’ll be alright, and as long as callum’s alright, nothing else matters.

and the most telling part of it all? the fact that ben didn’t go home w that guy he’d been kissing earlier. he could have. he so easily could have - the guy was into him, he was up for it, and we know ben’s not opposed to random hook ups. but he didn’t. he wasn’t at all interested. why? because he wanted callum. he caresabout callum. he was just using that guy to make his point - that ben is bad and callum shouldn’t be interested in him bc because he can do better. he had 0 interest in that guy and the minute everyone was gone and no one was around to witness it, ben made that very clear - he didn’t even want fuck him as a rebound or to prove he doesn’t care about callum or whatever. he couldn’t even pretend.

like ben just really cares about callum and that’s exactly why he did what he did - because he thinks that it was the best and kindest thing to do.

idk i just hope that this helps give people a little bit of perspective on why ben did what he did bc i feel like some ppl were kind of unfairly harsh on him. the way he behaved was not at all fair on callum, and i don’t condone what he did, but as someone who has been there myself (not literally the same situation, but the same ‘i need to scare them off now so i don’t hurt them in the long run’ way of thinking) i can confidently say that it was from a place of good intentions. completely twisted and fucked up and unfair, yes, but his heart was (mostly) in the right place.

but yeah lmao i’m glad you like my way with words bc you just got a lot of them!!! and perhaps a lot of pain too lmao 💕💕

[inexchangeforyoursoul]

Hello, hello, here’s my piece for the Halloween minibang organized in courtesy of the Chicken Tendies and Bacon Bits DabiHawks server~ and have the link to a more sensible reading experience (as t gets rid of formatting, too, and I’m lazy to put it all back in, at least for now): ao3

I was paired up with pineapple hair boy (dunno his url still rip) and our promt was haunted maze! \o/ I kinda included the other two we were gunning for, devil deal and ghost stories, so... multitasking, yo. Also put in my suggested fog, because as time passed, I realized how good it was even though I just put something into the box lmao

I’ll link pineapple’s accompanying piece as soon as they’re done with it, right here, in this line!! AND HERE IT IS!!!  👀

(Some of you may note... that I was supposed to be the artist. Well, it’s a long story, and likely on me tbh; I spent p much the entire week working on my piece, but I also started writing this one, and suggested doubling down on content, but unfortunately timetables are evil, and pineapple got mobbed enough as to likely run out of time if he also wanted to finish writing, so, um... yeah. This is not to say that we won’t do our original project, though, so stay tuned for the bonus round, hopefully soon! \[T]/)

(... also, I may or may not be considering to make this a full story, so there’s that)

Keigo trips for what feels like the millionth time on this way through the undergrowth- by day, the manor labyrinth is fairly easy to navigate, the kids frequenting it has kept it threadable. Nobody has legitimately tended to it for years, though. Or rather a decade, actually, it’s been a while he was here. Honestly, who cares, because--- oh, for fuck’s sake, more rose or blackberry or whatever vines to untangle his legs from. Great. Just… great.

He squints at his watch; still on time. Catching his breath after getting free surprisingly fast this time around, he takes a look at his surroundings. Not that he sees much, bear you. It’s near midnight and pitch dark. To top it off, the thick-ass fog often present, source: right damn here, has also crept into town. In fact, this is the worst it has gotten this year yet. There’s also barely anything he can hear from the dying-off autumn festival two streets and half an estate over.

It’s only him, his phone's flashlight, and the camera around his neck that also keeps getting caught in shit. That, and his own breathing that's getting his lungs numb from all the cool, wet air they are being exposed to.

Fooling around for so long has made him feel… antsy. Just a bit. The fact that his goal, that is to say the family crypt of the moneybags who used to live here is so close doesn’t help, either.

The entire plot is the stuff of local legends. The mansion is-was infamous for its… flammability, so to speak. Every few years, at least one room got totalled. Some believed that the last master had been a pyromaniac, up till the umpteenth house fire snuffed his line, and himself at the age of 60-something, out for good. But old folk said that the building had been ablaze just as frequently before his time- and truth to be told, there had been two more fires ever since, although those could have been the aforementioned kids or the occasional squatter. Two fires in about ten years is pretty normal in an abandoned place like this.

A few of those old people said the mansion had been built on hallowed grounds in their parents’ time, and the fires were punishment for disturbing the church ruins and the dead it used to house. Even fewer said the church must have been built on the very gates of hell and the ruins had kept the flames at bay.

And old geezer Giran in particular said that you could see the devil himself on the night when spirits roam free, around where the isolated belfry’s foundation stands still with walls crumbling- the place around which the crypts were erected on top of upturned graves. To be frank, the dude himself looked as if he escaped from hell, so what better myths to bust as an aspiring photographer? And even if the devil won't drag his ass outside, this will still make one hella Halloween photoshoot. He has loads of candles and some lampions in a backpack to get the mood right as well.

If anything remotely threatening pops up, though, like a mean stray dog… or a horde of drunk homeless, he's so ready to run for the hills, you have no idea.

He’s pricking his ears good as he closes in on the center of the once-upon large cemetery. One has to acknowledge the effort those rich bastards put into this dumb maze layout just to hide their own dead. It’s as if they feared a zombie apocalypse and concluded that they wouldn’t be able to get out if the hedges grow in a pattern, like, seriously. Then again, if the ‘horde of drunk homeless’ situation comes true, it will feel and work just the same, so who’s he to judge.

The scenery, too, is something to behold still. The entire area is surprisingly… not very foggy. One can see just as far as there is anything relevant to see, nothing more, nothing less. The waning moon even came out to play for a bit, shedding some decent light on his surroundings.

What catches his attention is not the excellent lighting to make photos, though, but rather someone sitting on the ruins of the old belfry, right under where the plump planet is working her magic.

He checks the display of his watch again- two past midnight. He’s late. Well, bummer… maybe next time.

That… guy, though? He doesn't look like any devil he knows of, but rather a human figure. One he also doesn't know of, actually. Which is remotely more interesting than Satan himself, because… that’s a goth silhouette if he’s ever seen one, and he’s seen all in town. All three of them.

They are a chill bunch, so he figures he might as well go up to this one. May be an acquaintance of Tokoyami and company’s who was also told about this spooky deal.

"Hey. Have you seen the midnight devil, or did he not get the memo this year?" He lifts a hand over his eyes to let him have a clearer look.

Just the way the other looks over to him, even while slouching quite a bit, is in a manner that’s nothing bar… uh… majestic, should be the word? Sublime? Yeah. That's peak cinematography. He’s… a bit at a loss of words here, because? People have waxed lyrical about the positively blessed relationship between him and sunlight, but this guy?? Has legitimately the most beautiful pair of eyes ever, period???

Before he could get too entranced by the sight of the sky blue pins of the overshadowed figure sitting between a moonlit sky and milky deep sea of mist, he notices that said eyes skim over him. Slowly, creeping down, and then up. Um…

Did… did he just check him out?

A hardly concealed grin can be heard out of his voice as he speaks up. “Hey there, angel."

… that's a yes.

This… coming from someone with eyes and a voice like… that, is actually… hm.

Like, look… he’s been looking forward college to maybe…  find someone he genuinely clicks with. But he has been through this immediate infatuation thing a hundred times already… and knows from experience that falling for mere potential is a grave mistake. What even are the chances that he’ll be the one? Put the aesthetic boner away and think rationally, Keigo. You don’t even know his name.

However, if, and IF he plays his cards well and this is not a total asshole… he could get both a photoshoot and a phone number out of this endeavor, which sounds like an excellent deal.

“Straight to the point, eh?” he acknowledges with a grin that's almost genuine. “Witching hour stuff aside, I don’t think I’ve seen you around…? A friend of Tokoyami’s?”

The other hops off the wall as he’s talking, stirring up some fog. Keigo could swear to hear absolutely nothing upon him hitting the ground. Must be the grass, but still, confirmed for cat. Not having to deal with the moon’s flare, he can now also tell that he’s about as old as expected.

The young man pauses to think for just a second before walking up to him. Nonchalance and weariness mingle in his steps.

“No, but I think I do know who you’re talking about. The kid with the raven.”

“Oh? Yeah, that’s him. Just visiting, then?” So he’s somewhat familiar with the area. Huh… how in hell did he never notice someone so obvious? Maybe he should come out here more often.

Also, is it just him, or did it get really cold all of a sudden?

“Him and his friends spend a lot of time here, I know enough. And yeah, something like that.”

As he stops in front of Keigo, an odd sensation trickles down his spinal cord, raising every hair on his nape. He’s had this once or twice when watching a legitimately good horror movie or catching a glimpse of an especially beautiful scene, or at least something very similar. It’s just the cold and being out in the middle of nowhere with a handsome stranger this time (which is kind of a combination of both), but still.

… this is not the time to be thinking ‘but what if he’s a serial killer and you are stuck out here with him alone’, brain. Thanks.

“Family business, gotcha.”

He’s onto something, because a certainly troubled look flashes over the hot--- the goth’s face as he reaches up to his own nape to rub away at it. “... yeah. That.”

The train of thought is seemingly swept out of the way after short consideration and his attention returns to Keigo. His neutral staring face is actually a little unnerving, no lie. “What about you, coming out here? Didn't quite catch what you first said.” He eyes him in a way similar to when he was sitting up on the wall, as if measuring him up.

“Oh, I wanted to take some photos,” Keigo starts, lifting the camera and the first candle he can grab from the bag, swinging it playfully around a few times with a smile to mask the nerve building up inside. “I figured it would be a nice opportunity even if the hearsay tale of the ~devil~ coming out at midnight was total humbug. This place is very atmospheric.”

What he says rouses a chuckle from the other. “Oh, so I wasn't imagining things. Been a while since I last heard that one.”

For someone deadpan he really has a cute smile. We are on a schedule here, but please never stop?

Keigo presses the tip of the candle into his cheek in contemplation, trying to steer his thoughts back on topic. “You mean, that local legend thing? I heard about it fairly recently… from the most suspect old dude." He rolls back and forth on his heels, watching out for reactions; "Giran, if the name is telling. But asking other old folks made them ring a bell, too, so I guess I was just ignorant.”

The other raises an eyebrow in amusement as the fading smile pulls into a smirk. "Maybe you are, a little bit."

Oh, come on. "Nobody is born cool, wise, or a folklore expert, okay…?" He pouts.

"I could already tell you were born without a trace of those things, alright."

"..."

He just said that. Looking him dead in the eyes.

Wow.

Dude's lucky his smile is cute, because that was so uncalled for and he's way too proud of himself. Sheesh. Anyway…

"Said the one who wouldn’t know manners if they hit him in the face…” He sighs. "Before we go down the name calling path, though… I’m Keigo." This was getting a little awkward without throwing it in, although he doubts the cocky asshole deserves it.

“Touya. My pleasure.”

Keigo hums as he moves to rummage through his stuff for the lighter he definitely threw in the bag before setting off. That’s not a very common name, but… “I think I’ve heard of you before…? Beats me where, though.” He’s pretty sure the conversation happened years ago by the crypt here, though.

Everything he says seems to amuse the other to no end. “It’s probably for the best. You seem like the type to run for the hills.”

Keigo gives him the side eye; being right aside, the hell is that supposed to mean…? And he’s so smug about it, too. About everything, really.

And no, it really wasn’t a line even remotely connected to serial killers, shut up, brain.

“Cryptic, are we?” he sighs, lighting the candle with a flickering click at last. The gentle flame sheds some dim, fog-broken light onto Touya’s face, and Keigo hates himself for being charmed by what he sees once more. That pale skin looks too perfect to be true… should feel like silk under one’s touch. If he ever gets a proper close-up look, he swears he’ll get a heart attack.

Touya blinks once, resetting his expression to nearly a default. “It's the two of us in a haunted, abandoned graveyard, inside a fog ridden maze, on the night after the 31st of October. You are basically begging to wind up dead. Coming off as cryptic and creepy as possible right now is elementary, angel.”

He… he legitimately can’t argue with that. The guy's almost as good at this as the bird kid is. “... touché.”

Stunned for words, he places his candle where planned instead. It's so stupid, but makes… so much sense. Is this why they all are like… that?

As he moves on like that without a word, Touya seems to get weirded out himself. "... You okay there?"

"I just had… an epiphany." He says, putting the first lampion with pinpoint precision. This guy just accidentally revealed some kind of arcane goth knowledge too advanced for him to begin to understand and doesn't even know it.

Touya heaves a deep sigh. "... you obviously got the wrong one out of that, but congratulations nonetheless."

“Maybe? I have not the foggiest what you were trying to imply.” He’s not that thick, but the dude’s being ~cryptic~ or whatever, and he’s not in the mood to write an essay on what edgy goths mean by what they say.

“Ah… figure that's why it's so clear out here this year… all the mist from the glade must have relocated to your head.” concluding that, Touya’s eyebrows pull closer upon seeing whatever else the blonde pulls out from his backpack while shooting a glare in his direction. “… what are those for?”

Keigo considers not answering at all, but decides against it. Being the bigger person by default is such a chore sometimes, but… “There’s some decent moonlight to work with, but these umbrellas help me get the little extra I need right where I want it. See?” With that, he turns the flashlight on and blinds the other with the sudden brightness.

“Ow, seriously?! I haven’t seen daylight in decades, turn that shit off…!”

… but, he can multitask and still be an asshole while answering the question. And laugh at the reaction, then laugh some more the decades comment as the other rubs his eyes, because he positively has the looks of a display-tanned indoor hermit. A hermit who is having a bad time.

“Wanna help, or would you rather brood somewhere the umbrellas won’t be able to reach you?”

A mechanical click can be heard in the distance; now that there’s no music playing in the streets, the bad (and always slightly ahead of time) clocktower bell can be heard signalling quarter past midnight. This seems to catch Touya’s attention and remind him of something as he stares into a nondescript spot for a while. At the very least, Keigo is certain he’s not thinking about the question that slipped out and which he will regret- if he says no, it’s gonna be the disappointment… if yes, then it’s because of all the things that will definitely go wrong.

“... well, it’s not as if I had no time to kill,” comes the apathetic answer a few seconds later, although the wrinkling eyebrows are telling of his misgivings regarding the idea.

“...”

Now, hold on… hold on, he may have an even worse idea that he’s definitely going to regret…

Keigo taps his pointing fingers against the camera anxiously. “Actually… say, what would it take for youuu… to be my model tonight?” He takes out his best puppy eyes as he looks over to him with the tiniest smile, blinking slowly.

It’s as if Touya had another light induced migraine immediately. He looks almost disgusted, which… is hilarious. “For that I'll take both your life savings and your soul.”

Keigo stifles both a giggle and a sigh at that, resulting in somewhat of a snort. He must be put off by those umbrellas quite a bit. "Really…? If that’s all, fine by me."

The answer brings back Touya to a much more reserved, if not vaguely sceptical stance. “You… sure are ready to jump the gun for that, huh.”

"Well I, too, am asking a bit much of you out of nowhere, aren’t I?” He asks, shrugging. “I figured it was worth asking, at the very least… you fit the mood a little too perfectly, one doesn’t get an opportunity like this every day. If all it takes is my birdie bank, that’s fine by me. … We can also talk about the soul part later if you want to.” It takes him every ounce of self restraint not to throw in a wink at the end.

“...” Touya stares in contemplation before taking a deep sigh and scratching his head. "Fine. I guess it’s going to be much less bothersome than posing for hours to have a portrait painted."

Keigo’s ears perk up at that. Like, a lot. "Y---you… there's a portrait?!"

Whaaa?!? A professional-ass painting, of him?? And, even more importantly, where?!?

"... I know what you're thinking of, and no, I have not the slightest idea. Who knows, maybe it even burned along with---" he cuts himself off right there. For the first time that night, he seems upset, or rather angry; whichever it may be is the strongest emotion the blonde has seen him display in these past minutes, affecting even him quite a bit. His hairs stand alert once more--- but the sentiment goes as it came, along with Touya’s stifled ire.

"... never mind. Let’s just… get on with this."

"..." He figures that being nosy would be straight-down rude, having just met and already asking for quite a bit… so he lets it slide as if nothing happened.

Keigo turns around to the lampion that he placed before the convo started.

Huh… that’s weird.

He doesn’t remember lighting it.

Overall, Touya seems to pay quite a bit of attention to what he's doing, visibly taking mental notes of the processes he goes through. First, it's a little embarrassing to be watched so closely, but eventually Keigo gets used to it and just does his thing. He soon finds himself in the zone, in fact. Hell knows how much time goes by as he keeps clicking away, barely even instructing, but rather just basking in whatever the other does, giving the okay to everything. He’s not even bothered by the bone cutting cold that’s now heightened by a breeze, because Touya seems to be a natural, and by god, does his presence do things to him. He’s had phases of architecture, mixed media with cutouts and shadow play, birds, and abandoned places, but this… this must be what finding a muse feels like.

When he's looking for the misplaced lighter for the hundredth time again, it's already shoved into his face.

"You should just keep this in your pocket, angel."

"Ah, thanks." He takes it, then turns to Touya sheepishly while pulling his jacket tighter as the light wind blows especially cold air down his collar. "I've been… stupidly quiet for a while. It must be really awkward, uh… am I really not bothering you?"

"It's fine. I like having the company."

Maybe his voice is softer than before… or maybe he’s just imagining things.

“I, uh--- same.” Keigo feels blood creeping to his face, so he quickly moves on; “I have enough of these candles left for like about one more location. Any ideas?”

It takes Touya only a second of consideration before he nods towards the belfry ruins.

He flashes a smile; “Gotcha.”

In barely 10 more minutes, Keigo is speeding through the hundreds (whoops?) of photos he’s taken, walking circles around the ruin. His breath hitches over the one where Touya looked directly into the camera right by the wall. He’s gonna frameit and putitonhiswardrobedoor andmmmakeit his ppphone wallpaper---

He can hear a chuckle behind him, and remembers that whoopsie daisy, he’s not alone. “You're pleased as punch over a few pictures… It’s adorable.”

Keigo gets red to the eartips this time around, realizing that he’s got that goofy-ass smile Rumi keeps teasing him for. Unfortunately for him, once it gets pointed out… it always sticks. “I’tsjustthat---…!! I… didn’t think I’d get such nice photos at all? Moody scenery is nice and easier to sell, but I prefer lived-in spaces and models, anything that feels alive. Especially when they’re so pret...ty. Patient.”

Someone kill him.

“...”

The thin eyebrows twitch the smallest amount and for a torturous, silent pause Keigo wishes for some kind of deity to strike him down and grant a merciful, immediate death.

“I suppose I’ve had a few years to put some patience practice under the belt.”

He fights the urge to run away crying. There’s no way anybody exists who wouldn’t see right through that… at least he gets to see that cute smile once more.

He forces one on, too. “... I can tell.”

The wind starts picking up, distracting the other. Touya takes a look up to the moon, which has made quite some progress on its route since they’ve been there. Then there’s three clicks echoing through the night, signalling that it’s nearing 1 a.m. “Well… you were babbling about showing me, too, so you better hurry. I don’t have much time left.”

Keigo snaps out of the shameful frustration only to be legitimately ashamed. “Oh… sorry, I… hadn’t even considered that you had other business tonight.” Shit. He just assumed he had all night, but Touya was just humoring him until he had other business.

The other shakes his head. “It’s no issue, just get your fidgety ass over here already.”

As he makes his way over to him, Keigo feels something grab onto his leg and the familiar itch of thorns scratching up skin through his jeans.

Fucking vines again.

He should have expected this, shouldn't he. As he stumbles forward, he sighs in immediate acceptance.

He would have never expected being caught, though.

Nor Touya’s hands being as cold as a frozen piece of meat that can be felt even through his jumper and jacket. His touch sends shivers down his spine, freezing him in surprise first; if the strap didn’t get caught around his arm, the camera would hit the ground as his hand loses its hold on it.

What he’s definitely not ready for, however, is the arctic chill radiating from every inch of Touya’s, the same icy presence that he’s been feeling ever since… since he got close.

The thing that makes him break into cold sweat and brings even the blood in his veins to a halt, however, is the pair of forget-me-nots staring into his soul from mere inches.

Those beautiful, blue eyes, that… that are glassy and clouded and definitely not… human.

His lips part, but the scream dies off in his throat.

The realization flashing in his eyes draws a lenient, gentle smile onto the pale face. “You’re slow, angel.”

Keigo's paralyzed in what he can only guess is sheer terror, his body's last resort in hopes that the threat will just leave if it's not interesting enough to investigate. His mind, however, is racing and panicked as his inevitable end leans in for the kill.

Fuck.

Fuck, he's… dead.

He's dead, he's dead, he's dead---

He’s dead.

At least, that’s what he remembers thinking before passing the fuck out… not knowing who exactly he was referring to anymore. Because he feels positively not alive when waking up on the belfry’s cold ground, on the patch of concrete that lay behind where the catafalque used to be, surrounded by what remained of the candles and lampions he had brought along, and some of the flowers that people decorate graves with.

The spot where everyone suspected a former hidden path… or another grave.

He turns around, because now he remembers where he last saw the name Touya- it’s barely legible, but there it is, crudely chiselled into the stone right above the grey ground.

At first he supposes that the cold, empty feeling that seeps through his entire being must be the nasty cold and pneumonia he gets after the deed. As the days go by, however… the shivers and cold sensation persist and his dreams are plagued by endless mazes, fires, and haunting, blue eyes all the time.

His second guess for the cause of it is lingering fear: on the camera, he finds creepy photos of himself lying in the grave once he gets better. When going through them all, he considers to delete the ones he took of the other or use them for digging, (there’s no fucking way he actually hung out with a ghost, is there?) but… they all pop up as vaguely distorted landscapes, with light spots where a pair of eyes may or may not be.

Having stared blankly for like an hour at the one he really liked back then, he throws the camera into the corner of his armchair and doesn’t touch it for weeks.

This carries on through winter, in spring, and he's convinced of how badly he fucked up when even in the suffocating summer heat he feels the veil of an icy embrace.

Once leaves start catching rust again, the chill makes his bones ache, much like they did after the encounter. And it only gets stronger by the day. He hasn't shown the pictures, developed or otherwise, to anyone. Somewhere down the line he figured… that he should just give him the photos and trade them back for his soul, because hell if that dementor did not help himself to it right along with the kiss he definitely got but doesn’t remember. Trauma alone cannot possibly cause this.

It's midnight again. This time, he's already there, waiting for the toll of the distant church bell they had fixed and reset sometime in spring. The autumn fog is as thick as ever.

His grip tightens on the envelope; deals like this are notoriously hard to break or undo. Hell, the guy agreed to have the photos taken, creating a nice little loophole. Whether he printed them, deleted them all or whatever might be a moot point.

… no. No, he can't start thinking about this right now, if he comes he'll get this thing annulled, get his damn soul back---

As the last gong dies off in the night, a pair of lean arms slink around his aching chest and pull him against a body so cold it's scalding his skin.

"Hello again, angel," greets the voice, sounding a hundred times sweeter than he remembers.

…

Or maybe… he'll just let him keep it forever.

[saizoswifey]

Hey! Can you list your favorite lords in order and why? (and why do you love Saizo so much?)

Hey dear! Sure thing~

Saizo-he’s my soulmate 

Ieyasu-he makes me laugh! His insults crack me up, and I love how pouty he gets when he doesn’t get his way. He’s an easy one to figure out and would be fun to tease. 

Mitsunari-love how intelligent he is, and how fiercely he stands up for those he loves. he’s one that I hated at first and he grew on me over time. def makes you feel safe when you’re with him and I like that 

Nobuyuki-cunning, witty, intelligent, wise, loving, insightful, sexy, like....the list could go on and on I love this boy so much lol 

Yukimura-sweetheart that could bang your soul into next week what more is there? hes so cute I love his blush I love his heart and I love his BFF >.>....

Inuchiyo-im SUCH a sucker for the scrappy street thug with a good heart but a head full of brick LOL and thats Inuchiyo 

Shigezane-cheeky soft boy oh my gosh. I love how sarcastic and naughty he is sometimes, and I love his teasing. his smile is amazing and he just brightens everyone around him I love him and will do everything to protect him (also maybe possibly definitely weak AF to the pet name ‘Doll’ I melt)

Nobunaga-he was my first love in this game and still holds a large place in my heart. he’s gorgeous and so bratty and pouty which I LOVE. he’s a sassy bitch who loves a wild woman and damn I could be that for him lol. I love that he talks a big game but really underneath it all hes so vulnerable and kind. 

Hideyoshi-took me a while to come around to him tbh and now that I have there’s no turning back. this monkey is great and cunning as heck. plus, his CGs are always FOOOIIIIIIINE 

Mitsuhide-if he was not such a workaholic he’d shoot up my list lol. hes another one that took a while for me to warm up to. I think the glimpses of his inner carnal desires really helped me like his character and give him more depth. he KILLs ME with his baby talking at cats I just cant, hes so cute. and THAT STORY ABOUT HIM TRYING TO TELL JOKES. I lost my shit. Protect and love this man. Seriously. I loved seeing how he used to be when he was younger, too. All young and mean and bitchy. sign me up

Masamune-sweet sweet man, he is lower on the list because he’s just so quiet and also...workaholic. 

Kenshin-I think over time he will move up the list. If we got more info on him during his route I would be more inclined to like him. But i feel like we barely got anything...also he is very soft and its like....too soft for me. I am not usually fond of the soft boys 

Shingen-respect the heck out of tiger dad and he has made me sweat a few ES there’s no doubt lol but he is my Besties Boy and he belongs to her and therefore I can’t see him that way at all lolol to me he is just my YaYa’s husband and my brother in law wkbfjkwbf 

Kojuro-he has some really nice CGs but overall I don’t like his sprite/character design and that is distracting for me when I read his stories. I also don’t like how he seems more devoted to Masa than MC and I get WHY and all the power to the Kojuhoes who enjoy that and admire his dedication to his duties. Also he messy lol......thats a no from me like I dont mind mess but hes an actual hoarder and keeps bringing things in I would just have a panic attack hahaha 

Saizo Thoughts-Why Do You Love Him?  

I have always been a sucker for the kind of brooding badass with a far off look in their eyes and a complicated past (Spike, Mugen, Levi etc) and Saizo is no different. I have a pretty dominant personality, I’m pretty bold, I’m mouthy af, I take on a lot myself and I like to be in control and take care of people etc so although I don’t completely get rid of my entire personality when I consume media I tend to gravitate to characters that I feel could lighten my load a little bit and maybe take care of me for once in my life, but also on the flip side they’re the characters I feel like could handle a personality such as mine. If they’re too soft they’re going to crumble lol. And humor is a HUGE thing for me so my legs go spaghetti when a character makes sarcastic jokes and is funny. I love dark humor and I LOVE TO TEASE AND PRANK so just,.......Saizo is everything I look for in a male character and bless him for being created tbh idk where I would be without my Saizo love hahaha 

[punchmedanny]

How I Make My Edits

because @lesterluminous asked

First off, I have the most convoluted process ever because I use free/cheap apps on my phone for reasons. So, I'm not really the best example to follow, but here you go~~~

These are all the apps I use. The pink I use for almost every edit, the blue I use for color correction, and the purple are my go tos to make pics look cool. Everything else I use less frequently and only if I want a specific look

Here’s what I use each for

8Bit Photo Lab: easily my fave app for glitch effects

Afterlight: the best basic photo editing app I’ve found on android. Good if you’re in a hurry and just want like a filter. I rarely use this because I’m rarely in a hurry

Background Eraser: (from handyCloset Inc.) the best app of its kind I’ve been able to find. Very easy to use, minimal ads, and doesn’t lower the quality of your photo. I use this anytime I want to get rid of the background

Facetune: I mainly use this when I’m having trouble getting the coloring of the pic right in snapseed or if I want to color correct only part of the photo. The makers of this app have another one that is phenomenal called Enlight and it’s my absolute favorite editing app, but it’s not available for android

Glitch!: another cool glitch effect app. It can do some things 8Bit can’t, but it’s more random and I like ~control~ I mainly use it for GIFs

Glitcher: this one is ultra random, so I hardly ever use it. But, it’s good it you want a glitch effect, but don’t want to spend much time on it. Again, I mainly use it for GIFs

Layout: sometimes a bitch just needs a basic collage okay???

Snapseed: the first app I go to when making an edit. A lot of times the lighting in the boys pics isn’t great (especially in ig stories), so I use this to color correct and. It has the ability to edit using curves which is the best thing ever once you get the hang of it. It also has a bunch of features I never use, but they look neat. Also, it’s completely free

Autodesk SketchBook: tbh I never get around to playing with this, but it seems like it’d be good lol

ibisPaint: omg this app is sooo underrated. I use it for almost every edit and I also use it for drawing. It’s intended to be a drawing app and not an editing app, but it has so many features that are FREE. You can make a one time payment that gets rid of ads, allows you more layers than you’ll ever need, and gets you more brushes, but you don’t necessarily need that stuff. I’m honestly so shocked it’s free because it’s so, so good. It also has a monthly subscription with more stuff but I aint got a spare $2.99/month

MediBang Paint: I literally only use this to make gradients. I’m sure it’s perfectly good, but I like ibisPaint so much more lol The only thing ibisPaint can’t do that I wish it could was make gradients haha

GIF Maker: (by GIF Maker & GIF Editor & Video Maker) sometimes I make extremely shitty GIFs that may or may not work on desktop. This is what I use. It’s the least sketchy GIF making app I’ve found, has minimal ads, and plenty of features

Cute CUT: (by MobiVio Solutions) this is the best video editor I’ve found on mobile. I sometimes use it for editing video to turn into gifs and sometimes to work around the dumb way other apps do thing that’s too complicated for a basic overview haha

Glitchee: this app is really not user friendly, but it has some cool glitch effects. Good for GIFs because it allows you to edit/save video and not just pictures

DU Recorder: This is the best screen recorder I’ve found. Very reliable, non-invasive ads, etc. I use it to capture video I want to use for a GIF. I also used it to record my M&G

90s: (by ryzenrise) this has a lot of really cool retro and glitch filters, but it ONLY lets you edit video. I hardly ever use it, but it’s good for GIFs. I’ve also used Cute CUT to make a video file out of a picture as a work around

Easy Poser: for drawing, not edits lol

HUJI: for taking dumb photos, not edits

Kuji Cam:  my fave for making pics ~aesthetic~ It’s free to download, but worth paying the small amount for full features. The filters are so good and I use this very, very frequently. If I’m still having trouble with color correction after Snapseed and Facetune, this is often my saving grace

Pixel Brush: for drawing, not edits

Spark Post: this seems like a cool app if you want to make edits, but would rather have something simple than mess around with a ton of tools. But, the best thing about it is that it has easily searchable free photos! I just use this to find a photo for the background of an edit then save it so I can use it in other apps that I like better lol

My workflow

So, I am not a good person to emulate if you want to make pretty edits. But, I’ve never claimed to be a good example, so I’ll tell you anyway lmao

To begin with, I have a Galaxy Note8. This is important because 1) the screen is huge af so I can actually see what I’m doing and 2) it comes with a pressure sensitive stylus. I literally chose this phone for these reasons. These combine to make my phone pretty similar to a drawing tablet which allows me to be a lot more precise than if I were just using my finger.

I download pics and video directly off Instagram because I want to know I’m getting the best quality possible I use StoriesIG for their stories and  DownloadGram for their pics posted on Instagram (or i download from Twitter if the boys also put it there). I haven’t found a way to download photos from a photo set after the first one besides just screenshotting then cropping them.

From here, I color correct in Snapseed and Facetune, sometimes going back and forth between apps before I get it how I want. Then, I add any filters and/or effects I want. Next, I use Background Eraser to get just the boys. I determine what sort of background I want and I prepare that. I open a new canvas in ibisPaint and add any pics I want. Then, I get all creative combining everything together and making it look pretty instead of just slapped together (unless i want it to just look slapped together for a shitpost or something lol)

As for GIFs, I don't know how people who are actually good at it do it, but I acquire my video, use Cute CUT to up the contrast and saturation and mess with the color a little. Then I chop in into pieces that are about 3 seconds long and save each as its own video. Then, I put those into GIF Maker and maybe mess with the color again in there. Then I save that and pray to the patron saint of editing, Philip Lester, that I got the settings right and my file is small enough to upload. I rarely make GIFs because, using this method, they turn out very, very atrocious :)

And that’s it! 

If anyone is curious about how to do specific things or get certain effects or there’s anything else you want to know, feel free to send me an ask or message and I’d be happy to try my best to help

[yoondell]

Roommates

Title: Roommates

Genre: smut

Characters: Yoongi x Reader

Length: 2715 words

A/N: So sorry this took me so long to get out. TBH it’s been sitting in my WIP folder for months now.

————————————- “Shhh” you giggled as the guy you were sneaking into your apartment pushed you too harshly against the door, causing it to slam open. “My roommate’s asleep.”

He hummed into your neck as he continued leaving deep, sloppy kisses on your skin, his hands already reaching back to unhook your bra and failing. You giggled once more, the alcohol in your system relieving you of any inhibitions and let him fling your shirt off. You reached past him to throw the door close, too lost in his touch to register your noise level. You walked backwards into the room a few steps before he pulled you into him, kissing you hungrily as you quickly rid him of his shirt.

You pulled away from him and smiled as you saw his eyes rake over your exposed skin and giggled when you saw the way his tongue flicked over his lips. You flashed him a smile before turning around and letting your skirt fall to the ground. Your skin was hot where you felt his eyes on you as you walked towards your room, disappearing from view for a moment before he came after you. You felt him press against your back, his mouth returning to your neck as you let out a hoarse moan. Yoongi would definitely yell at you about this tomorrow, but for now all you could think about were the hands trailing down your body. ——————————————–

To be fair it was your apartment first, Yoongi had moved in after you and your boyfriend had broken up. You’d kicked that dirt bag out after finding him “chillin” with your friend at her house. You’d calmly packed his things and had them sent to her place, and posted a roommate ad that night.

Yoongi hadn’t been your first choice, he was standoffish and not really a people person, the complete opposite of you. But he was quite, clean and minded his own business… for the most part. At first it felt awkward to have him around but as time went by you got into the habit of forgetting he was even there. Before you knew it you were walking around like you lived alone (aka naked) and that’s when he started complaining.

You could understand his apprehension to you walking around naked, he seemed pretty conservative, so you stopped, but it was only the first on a long list of complaints. There’s hair everywhere, you’re too messy, you never vacum, you eat my food, leave fingerprints on the fridge, and you’re too noisy. You argued your way out of most of them, but he insisted that your noise level was on par with a construction site and it was disturbing his “lifestyle”, whatever that meant. So you had tried to keep it down, spending most of your time at home in your own room, locked away from Yoongi and his grumpy attitude. But after a few days of thinking it over, you became more upset and decided to get revenge.

That night you had very enthusiastically gone out to a club with your friends and rangled in the perfect one night stand. He was a classic club-rat, too much cologne and not enough foreplay, but he was loud and gone before the sun came up. The next morning you had walked out of your room to find Yoongi fuming.

“Y/n” His voice was calm but you had argued with him enough to tell he was going to attack

“‘Moning Yoongs!” He hated that you called him that and you could see it in the way he flinched at your cheery voice that the sentiment hadn’t changed. You went about your business, pouring cereal and milk into a bowl, waiting for the war to start. You turned to face him, your back against the countertop as Yoongi walked forward towards the island. You smiled cheerfully at him as you ate a spoonful of cereal, but he didn’t react, just stared at you with a blank expression. He stayed like that until you had finished your breakfast, washed your bowl and turned to head back to your room. You knew he was angry, his grip on the island stool was turning his knuckles white, but his face was calm and it annoyed you more than you wanted to admit.

So ever since you’ve been repeating the incident as often as you could. Bring back a one night stand who’d be loud enough to have yoongi raging silently at you as you waited for him to finally explode. But every morning you only got a silent greeting and a dirty look. ——————————————— The guy you’d found tonight was a catch, he knew what he was doing as he touched you but he also wasn’t one to keep to himself. He described every part of you he touched and exclaimed everytime you so much as trailed a finger across his forearm. You couldn’t help but grin at the situation but all your thoughts were of Yoongi. What was he doing? Was he picturing you the way this guy was describing you?

Suddenly you felt a hand slide down your abdomen, lower until you felt his fingertips circling your entrance. You let out a loud moan, the first you’d actually meant in a long time. Your hands gripped at his triceps trying to get more friction and work yourself against him.

You looked up at his face and saw he was saying something but you couldn’t tell what. You closed your eyes and pictures Yoongi’s long fingers inside of you, you were so close with that image alone but suddenly the feeling was gone.

Your eye shot open and you suddenly came back to reality to find your one night stand yelling and hiding under your comforter as Yoongi stood steaming in your doorway.

“Y/n. We need to talk.”

“W-what? Yoongi, can’t you see I’m in the middle of something?” You gasp out at him. Your heart is racing and your mind flashes back to the images you’d imagined moments earlier. You stared at the man in your doorway, and wanted nothing more than to feel the way he’d touch you.

No. You hated him. He was an ass and mean and gorgeous and okay no. You mentally slapped yourself, this was your ass of a roommate who was currently interrupting a very important moment for you. You glared at him, trying to muster up all the anger possible as you threw yourself up and out into the hall, closing the door behind you and muffling the protests coming from the man in your bed.

“What the FUCK Yoongi!? What makes you think it’s okay to just walk in on me like that?!” your voice was bordering shrill as you fumed past him into his own room, figuring that’s where he would want to fight. “I was so close to cumming I can still feel it…” you closed your eyes and tried to focus on the heat between your legs “not that you would understand what i’m talking about, you celibate weirdo.”

Just then Yoongi started to walk towards you, his eyes unwavering as they burned into your own. His steps were calm and deliberate as he approached, closing the space between your bodies much easier than you would have guessed him capable of. He reached a hand out and trailed his fingers down your bare arm and you remembered your attire. Your cheeks burned and you turned away from him, breaking the eye contact he had so pointedly been holding.

Yoongi didn’t like that. He grabbed your chin and turned your face towards him, his hold was gentle but firm as he connected with you once more.

“You think it’s easy for me?” He licked his lips as he momentarily flashed his gaze to yours, “Laying here every night hearing those losers fuck you like they would any girl off the street?”

Your eye bulged and you swallowed hard before he continues, his fingers trailing softly down your arms and body as he spoke.

“No. They have no idea how to fuck you, do they?” He emphasized his words with soft kisses to your neck, his lips barely grazing your skin.

You felt yourself melting into him, into his words and his touch before you pushed away from him trying to catch your bearings. He didn’t give you time tho as he closed the distance to you making you fall conveniently onto the bed behind you.

“W-what are you doing?!” You voice was shaky and breathy as you felt his weight shift the bed as he climbed on top of you but you didn’t resist. He looked down at you, your bodies barely touching but the heat between you was almost unbearable. He shifted his weight once more, reaching for your face he swiped a strand of hair behind your ear and you let out a deep breathe. He chuckled before leaning down and placing soft kisses onto your jaw. You closed your eyes and let the sensation run through your body as you felt yourself getting lost in his touch.

Yoongi was so gentle it felt unreal. You had always imagined that if he ever touched you this way it would be rough and forceful, full of anger and lust. But this was nothing like that, it was soft and caring, you could feel his adoration in each small touch.

He slowly worked his way lower down your body, his kisses getting deeper and sloppier, yet you could feel how controlled he was, every action deliberate and calculated. Yoongi didn’t bother removing the last bits of your clothing, instead he pulled them down ever so slightly, just enough to reveal what he was after. You felt yourself sigh and arch into him as his tongue drew circles on your breast, his hands cupping under them and squeezing so slightly. The stimulation from so little contact was amazing, it felt as if every nerve in your body was anticipating and waiting for more. —————————————- The first birthday you spent with yoongi was yours. You made sure he knew and he made sure to not indulge you in actually acknowledging it. You had been roommates for a few months, the tension not quite at boiling point just yet. But you had hoped he’d get the hint and ask to celebrate with you, even if it was a simple hug.

The past few days you’d noticed how he never touched you, didn’t even get close. It was like you repelled him and it had been eating away at your mind since you’d noticed.

He’d almost melt into the wall if you had to pass him in the hallway, pull back so fast if you reached for the same thing and he’d rarely look you in the eye. The more you had thought about it the more you wanted him to touch you and to acknowledge you. You built yourself up in your mind, not understanding why he’d be so quick to avoid you.

So for your birthday you had been hoping for something. But the whole day Yoongi was locked in his room, bass line blaring through the walls. Your annoyance slowly wore down to disappointment. Was there something wrong with you that made you repel him so completely? The thought fluttered through your brain as you wallowed in the living room, the hope that maybe he’d walk out and acknowledge you keeping you sane. But it never happened, you went to bed and left your celebratory cupcake untouched on the coffee table.

The next morning your heart jumped when you noticed it was gone, the wrapper in the trash and the candle laid carefully on the counter. He knew. He must have known but he purposely ignored you. It was little things like that, building up over time that made you hate him. Made you want to punch his stupid face with your face, because the truth was that in some twisted way the more he ignored you the more you noticed him. —————————————– Yoongi let out a hungry moan as he trailed his hands down your sides, his mouth working to cover every inch of skin. He slipped his right hand down your back, past the thin barrier of your panties, caressing your ass. His left hand moved diligently to push down the barrier to your core. You helped him by stepping out of your ruined panties and pushing your pelvis towards him, begging to be touched. He looked up from kissing you, a slight smile on his lips when he saw your desperate expression.

It was like you had unlocked the fever in him with your innocent desire. He pushed you harshly onto his bed, watching you lay there disheveled, and needy before he composed himself once more. He took in a deep breath before leaning over your naked body fully clothed.

“Do you want this?” his voice was soft but serious.

“Yes” the answer slipped past your lips without a second thought, “so much”

He chuckled as he leaned forward, finally catching your mouth with his. The first kiss was gentle and fluttering, but you were so feverish that you leaned in, deepening it. Your tongue split open his mouth and raced to taste him. His tongue slowed you down as it fought you for dominance winning out easily. You felt his body shift around you as he straddled your hips, completely dominating you.You whimpered into his mouth loving every second of contact. But it wasn’t enough for you, you had waited so patiently for his attention to be granted to you and now you needed more.

You flipped your bodies over, so that you were now on top and quickly began to strip him. He gave into you easily enough, smiling at your desperation to see him naked. You uscked deep red marks onto his neck marking him as your own before he took control again. This time the soft, gentle Yoongi was gone.

He easily slipped his fingers between your thighs, playing with your desperate core. Tracing the dampness he found there before using it to slip into you, his fingers massaging your g spot and making you whine beneath him. You spread yourself open for him as his ruthenium sped up, his thumb now working itself in circles around your clit.

“Good girl” he moaned at your action. You could see his restraint dissolving.

“Please” you whispered desperately as you grabbed his wrist stopping his actions.

It was all it took, Yoongi pulled his pants down revealing his throbbing cock only for a second before he slipped inside of you. A groan left your throat as your back arched upward, the feeling of being filled so completely taking over. He let your body adjust to him before pushing your legs closed and into your chest. The new angle has you coming apart in minutes. His cock gliding in and out of you hitting you deep and fully. You were seconds from coming undone again, desperately grabbing at the sheets for support, when he stopped.

You looked up, your breath ragged and shallow to see him smiling once more.

“Yoongi?” You asked in a small voice.

“Y/n.” He replied before leaning forward to kiss your lips softly. “Sorry, I just…. want to remember this”

But before you could reply he was thrusting into you again. He let one of your legs fall limp around him as he threw the other over his shoulder. This new position allowed you wrap your arms around him, clawing at his back and chest. He was already fucking you so deeply but you wanted to be closer to him, you were desperate for it. Just like that you felt him hitting your g spot again, so easily taking you over the edge. He was unrelenting as he watched you wriggle beneath him. Once you were done he pulled out of you, stroking himself to completion over your pelvis and watching his cum drop down your folds before collapsing next to you.

He wrapped an arm around your torso and leaned over to kiss your shoulder as you both tried to regain composure. Just then you both heard a knock on his bedroom door.

“Umm… should I leave?” Your date. Oops.

[defunctblogtobedeleted]

8/9/19 12:34 AM the super update. aka get your shit together Endgame post 1/?

Well. Here I am. It’s hard to even approach this post, to be honest. I’ve been procrastinating for so long. So long that it’s actually the last real thing I have left on my to do list.

Check this out.

I’ve been working hard at doing things lately. And catching up with you is basically the last thing left to do.

I finally spring cleaned all of my clothes and got rid of a ton of stuff that didn’t fit one way or another. 

I started playing guitar again.

I got my shit together with my job, got a bunch of online credits that I’d been procrastinating on. Started doing all the possible work I could every night to make my boss happy and it’s been making me a fuckton more money tbh. 

I’ve bought a bunch of cool shit, and been treating myself right with my food. I gained a bunch of weight back during the past year during my relationship with Andi. It’s not a terrible thing, I was treating myself. She convinced me that I deserved to treat myself and enjoy myself and that’s not a bad thing. But now I’m doing what I call Keto+, which is Keto+Beer lmfao.

I’m still going out drinking whenever I want, but for my meals I’ve stopped eating breads and rice and pasta, mostly just eating chipotle (just graduated to doing salads instead of bowls with light rice, though I wasn’t eating the rice just a bite here and there), sashimi from Hmart, lately once in a while a five guys lettuce wrap burger, back to doing salami and mozzarella at home. 

I’ve taken to fasting once a week on my thursday night shift (tonight), to try to accelerate the weight loss, but it’s not like my pov diets before because I’m still eating nuts.

It’s been a progression of increasing the amount I’ve been running (from one day to two days, to usually two maybe three days a week now, and the distance is a lot longer now), and cutting off more and more little cheats. E.g. the biggest was finally embracing sparkling waters instead of gatorade. I finally got to try Spindrift off a recommendation from a magic the gathering podcast, and it’s incredible. Only like 3 calories a can and it actually tastes good from the real juice and not bitter in the aftertaste. 

But anyway, I’ve got plenty of money now. My debts are paid, I’m ahead on bills, I’ve got all the sweet clothes I wanted, so I finally made the call last week.

It’s time to fix my car’s bumper. I’ll try to remember to get one last picture of lexi before I fix her broken front tooth.

Do you know what that means?

It’s the Endgame.

The Get Your Shit Together List I put together years ago... well let’s take a look at what’s left of it. The sad thing about digital to do lists is you don’t see the progression though. Wish I knew what was on there. I think a lot of it was losing weight, but I skipped the whole being healthy part before.

God damn, man.

Doc last edited Oct 2, 2018. I guess I started writing this plan out Jan 2017. I think my biggest priorities then were to cut down spending and pay off my debts. 

I never started exfoliating lol. I wonder if I should do that for my nose.

I didn’t give ashleigh her plane credit part because fuckit. I did end up using mine though, to take that trip to Hawaii to visit John. Pretty fucking baller. I guess that was another big step towards getting my shit together, too.

Quit melee, but now I’ve been playing again playing jigglypuff just to hang out with my roommates. It’s really neat not grinding falco, even though I lose a lot the game’s a lot more fun again.

OH MY GOD THOSE BLUE STORAGE CUBES. When I fucking talked about spring cleaning clothes? THATS what I meant. I’ve literally had this shit on my to do list for two YEARS hahahahah. About goddamn time. Holy fuck.

Got my deviated septum fixed, didn’t cost nearly that much thank the lawd.

Just went to the dentist, my teeth are doing great. Ironically they mentioned that I need to consider replacing one of the fillings that I mention getting here eventually. 

I did finally get a new laptop and backup the old one, uploaded that info to throw it out about two weeks ago. 

Actually got sweet ass new shoes booya checkem

I’m not vaping anymore, the whole juul pod fad never hit me. I’m doing cigarettes still, for better or for worse. Lol. I’ll take the cancer I know over the one I don’t.

But it’s better than I was when I was writing this list, I used to have to smoke one every single day after work. Maybe that was because I was hungry, but it was always this poignant craving on the back porch that I remember. Now I just like smoking when I drink mostly, but have the occasional one to chat with people or whatever.

Playing guitar again, not frequently, might start at work more since I’m playing the electric since I don’t have an acoustic available. Maybe I’ll even learn these songs. Playing guitar is great though, I kinda wanna be in a band sometime. That’d be fucking neat. Someone invited me to sing for his drunkenly at karaoke lol I should hit him up it’s been a minute. 

Got my nintendo switch, which I think was so far out of consideration that I deleted it from the fun stuff section. 

Who’d have thought I’d ACTUALLY start running and drinking water more. I guess I’m the greatest lmao.

Yeah man, like 15 pounds over the past 2 months. I think a lot of it was easy food weight, but it’s felt really rewarding all the same. Gotta keep it up, this 175 hurdle has been a tough nut to crack, but I’m gonna be really proud of myself once I get into the 160s territory again. I’m doing pullups slightly more, maybe I need to do the whole situps-pushups-pullups regimen right before/after running to really push it. Idk, i’m just glad i’m being good about it.

I’m even flossing once a week now.

Things are really shaping up. 

But with money in my bank account there are three options that I have.

1. Save it by buying stocks

2. Blow it by buying a bunch of dumb shit

3. Finish off the to do list and actually get my bumper fixed.

I wanted to ignore 3 because it feels like a dumb expense for a minor aesthetic, but I guess in view of all these things I’ve accomplished it really does mean quite a bit more than that. So I made a claim on a ding on the side of my car and I’m gonna see if I can get it all fixed up. I’ve actually taken on a few extra days of work lately and made even MORE extra money, so I don’t think it should knock me back financially at all. Which means that it’s time. 

I’m finally doing it.

It feels really cool. I’m a little bit anxious about it in the sense that it’s gonna be annoying if they deny me getting the bumper fixed because of the collision damage that I never reported. But whatever we’ll cross that bridge in a few weeks when I get the damage inspected and see what happens.

This has been my brag post. Hope you were able to tolerate it all. But that’s only the first phase of catching up. It’s only been a half hour of writing! I’ve got a lot of time left at work tonight and I might even spend a lot of this weekend at Darlin’s catching up if I have to. Catching up with this blog is as big a part of getting my shit together as scheduling my appointment with the car insurance was.

So what I mean to say is we’re gonna catch all the way through my greensboro days up to now. I have some saucy tales and some not-so-saucy ones. I’ve got a full relationship to blab about, and honestly one thing that I had promised her and was on a bunch of my old to do lists was to do like a whole pro-con listing about her persona, which felt weird and I kept procrastinating on but god dammit I’m gonna get everything off my to do lists. 

So I looked back a little and it looks like the last posts I made were about sally, Becky,  whatever the hell my dealings with Taylor were, and the beginnings of Mary. Which means that we’re gonna flesh out Mary, and then you’ve got Sophie, Rachel, Olivia, Andi, Jennifer, Heather, and Jill to look forward to.  Whew baby.

[vlindervin7]

For @glyndwrr who sent me this: ok hi, idk if these count as loose or like full prompts or what, but I am a SLUT for proposal fics, but, but, also another thing that I rarely ever see is like. One character thinks the other character is cheating on them or breaking up with them and it causes angst, but they’re not! it was all miscommunication! like, where they’re like ok this is it. the end. they don’t love me anymore and I have no self worth. and the other ones like, no! no i love you! ? do they hate me? idk?? ok sorry bye

Here you go, love! I combined the two prompts in one fic. Hope you like it! I’m not so sure about this, tbh. AO3

There are some mentions of past abuse and Adam Parrish generally being way too fucking hard on himself.

I’m still filled with wonder (you could fool me easily)

The light shining through the thin, white curtains in front of the cracked-open window in the master bedroom at the Barns, falls onto the bed and wakes Adam up. He slowly blinks the sleep out of his eyes and inhales the scent of the light breeze entering and of early mornings, summer, contentment. Next to him, Ronan is lying on his stomach, arms stuffed under the pillow. His face is turned towards Adam. His mouth is slightly open, his long lashes cast shadows across his cheekbones. Ronan doesn’t always look at ease while sleeping, but this is one of the times he does. He looks like it’s the first decent sleep he’s had for a while and Adam tries to push down the overwhelming feeling when he realizes it might very well be because of him.

Adam Parrish is home for the summer after his third year away at college. He’s in love and happy.

He arrived yesterday, his bag is still in the corner, unpacked. Adam dropped it there with the knowledge that he has almost three whole months to put away his stuff if he wants to, but yesterday was not the time. It was the time, however, of hugging Opal, carrying out a blanket and lying down on it with his whimsical family and eat the hotdogs Ronan had made for dinner.

(‘I sure missed your homemade food’, he’d drily remarked upon seeing what Ronan had prepared for his first night back at the Barns.

‘Shut up, asshole. You know you did.’ And God, if it wasn’t the food, he had missed Ronan’s particular kind of pet names, the fuck you’s that sound more like I love you’s.)

It was also the time for kissing, lots of kissing and well, a little more than kissing. After having put Opal to bed and having read her a story like she always requested when he was there, Adam let Ronan take him apart with his hands, his mouth until it felt like he was crumbling, until Ronan had run out of curse words to mix with Adam’s name, until all the air had returned to Adam’s lungs; the kind of oxygen only Ronan can give him.

They’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms, I love you and I missed you mumbled right before the world fell away and made place for his dreams.

Now, he watches Ronan’s back lift in time with his breathing. His tattoo is illuminated too and the stark black creates an almost otherworldly contrast. Adam scoots closer after checking the clock and seeing the red 05:34 flickering. His internal clock is still adjusted to college, but that doesn’t mean he has to listen to it.

Ronan cracks his eyes open when Adam lays closer to him. He gives Adam a lazy smile and turns around so Adam can rest his head on his chest and he can circle his arms around the rest of him.

They get another three and a half hours of sleep.

*

Three weeks, Adam’s been back at the Barns now. He loves Harvard, he loves the atmosphere on campus. He loves to be surrounded by people who all came to that place for one thing: learning. He likes the new friends he’s made. The quiet places he finds himself studying until way too late in the library. He feels the relief of being rid of his past that still hangs all over Henrietta. He loves college. But it doesn’t compare to the serenity and happiness he feels when he’s at the Barns.

It’s probably not the Barns specifically, Adam thinks. It’s more a mixture of magic and Ronan and Opal all in one place. It’s the closest thing to a real home he’s ever had, though he’s pretty sure he could get this feeling anywhere as long as Ronan and his dreams are there. They’re the ones he’s coming home to, not the Barns.

The three last weeks have consisted of running through the fields, of taking the BMW and going for a drive through the deserted streets, of finding a field somewhere and watching the stars and making out. They consist of summer things, of time to spend and happiness. Gansey, Blue and Henry are back in town too, for a while and they go to Nino’s like they used to do despite Blue’s complaints that the pizza is terrible and the only reason they went there is because she worked there, but they go anyway because the pizzas taste like nostalgia now.

It’s almost perfect and Adam hasn’t felt this good in a long time.

Almost perfect. Something’s wrong.

He doesn’t know how to explain it or to name exactly what it is that feels wrong, he just knows there’s something not quite right. Something about Ronan that doesn’t feel entirely right.

He spends more time than usual working, tinkering away at the Barns, in town for some reason and when Adam asks about it the only response he gets is ‘farm stuff.’ And sure, Ronan is serious about farming, more serious than he’s ever been about anything Aglionby, but he’s never worked this hard before.

He kisses Adam every day, whispers quiet, reverent I love yous in the crook of his neck. He wraps his arms around Adam’s waist, feeds him when Adam comes back from the shifts he still picks up sometimes at the factory or Boyd’s; not because he necessarily has to anymore, but because it feels like safety and surety. Ronan still does all the things he always does to show his special brand of love. But.

But he doesn’t catch Adam’s eye as much anymore and his actions may show that he loves Adam, but it’s in his eyes, when he finally let his guard down, that Adam saw those feelings reflected for sure. Sometimes when Adam smiles at him from across the room, he gives a smile back but instead of intensely holding his gaze like he used to do, he looks away and watches something else instead. Or Adam catches Ronan watching him with a detached look in his eyes which Adam knows means he doesn’t want Adam to see whatever it is he’s really feeling. It reminds Adam of the way he looked at him before.

Before the kiss in his childhood bedroom, before their best friend died and then came back to life again, before the wonderful summer followed by Adam’s first year at college, that taught Adam about love and family and belonging.

It reminds Adam of before everything and it hurts to see that look again. He doesn’t know what’s happened that made Ronan climb back into his shell of secrets and darkness; the possibilities he comes up with are not things he wants to think about. With all his heart, he wishes he’s wrong.

Because the most logical reason for all of this is he doesn’t want this anymore.

At first, he thought he was overreacting and Ronan was most likely simply getting used to having Adam around all the time again. So, he pushed the though away. It’s not like he could just confront Ronan about it, anyway. They’ve gotten better at actual communication the past three years, but still. He couldn’t just ask Ronan what was wrong with him when he couldn’t even say what it was that was different exactly, just that it was.

And when he let himself think it finally, he wants this to end it was worse, because dammit, if that was really what Ronan wanted, then – then Adam wouldn’t be the one starting that conversation. He’d let himself selfishly and masochistically enjoy the last moments together. Some prideful part of him wants to run and break it off himself before Ronan gets the chance to, but the truth is that it scares him and the realization of it all just hurts him so much. And his heart, God – he never thought it’d be this bad. He’s known pain in his life, more than most people his age and to be honest, he thought he was accustomed to it. But maybe pain is just something you never really get used to.

The first time he truly realized what was going, was when he tried to take Ronan’s hand in his. Ronan let him, looked down at their linked fingers and promptly made up some bullshit excuse about checking up on Opal and he was gone.

Adam actually almost bust out in tears because what the fuck? Is Ronan that uncomfortable with even the smallest of touches?

He spent so long trying to come to terms with the fact that yes, Adam Parrish is not only worthy of a crush; he’s worthy of being someone’s boyfriend too. He’s worthy of soft kisses and loving glances. He’s worthy of loving, being loved. He’s worthy of love. And that by Ronan Lynch of all people, who does not love easily. Who either loves you with all he has to give, or does not like you at all. And he loved Adam.

It wasn’t easy for him to lose control and give himself completely. To move into the Barns, to do long distance relationship when for the longest time he was convinced he shouldn’t tie himself to this place. And yet, he did all that.

The last three years have been the most wonderful of his life. College is everything he’s ever hoped for, it’s a chance to start anew, to be free of judgement and his shitty past. Granted, it would’ve been easier if he didn’t miss Ronan the way he does, like a part of his heart is actually missing from his chest and sometimes so much he can’t sleep and barely even has the ability to breathe properly until he gets Ronan on the phone, which. Yes, Ronan has learned to use his phone, thank God, but it’s still not the easiest thing in the world.

There have been times when it was hard, to be apart for so long, but they carefully found a way to work and make things lighter to bear. Adam has never once regretted their relationship.

And he was so sure Ronan felt the same; that he was all in from the beginning. And maybe he was. And maybe the distance was too much anyway. Maybe he tried to give all his love and maybe it faded anyway. Maybe when he saw Adam after his third year, he realized that really, he’s not worth all the trouble, after all.

Adam has no difficulty believing that.

All the words his father had sneered at him while he was half-unconscious come back to him, now. Worthless, a waste of space, un-fucking-lovable. Though the last one was never explicitly said, his father didn’t use words like love, it was clear when the punches landed on him and his mother blamed him afterwards.

And then Ronan proved him otherwise, but now Ronan realized that no, this isn’t what he wants after all. Turns out Adam really is unlovable. No real surprise there, though there is disappointment. Because for a moment, Adam actually believed Ronan saw more than the trailer park and dirt painted all over him.

He really should be used to people letting him down, by now. He doesn’t even blame him.

It just hurts.

So much.

He’s not completely sure. He could be overreacting, could be imagining things, the demons from his past may just be playing tricks on his brain, but he can’t find another explanation for Ronan’s distant behavior.

He tries to ignore those thoughts anyway, because he holds onto that one little sparkle of hope that still says that maybe he’s wrong.

*

‘C’mon, Parrish, we’re going for a drive.’

Adam looks up from the book of summer reading, on his lap. He’s sitting on the couch, Chainsaw picking at his hair. It’s calming. The way only Ronan and his dreams are.

It used to bother Adam, how Ronan often just decides things for the both of them, assumes things without ever talking. But now he knows that Ronan rarely does anything without a valid reason. If he wants to go for a drive, it’s probably because some of his reckless energy that dates back to his teenage years, isn’t entirely gone and he needs to release it somehow. Sometimes he does that by violently engaging Adam in a make out session, sometimes he simply needs to get out of the house, alone or with Adam by his side.  

Ronan assuming things used to bother Adam because no, that’s not the relationship he was looking for. Not again. He’s had enough of people telling him what to do for a lifetime. He needs his freedom, needs to make his own decisions. But that’s the thing. He realized that by telling Adam We’re going for a drive, he doesn’t mean it as something official, a decision made. It’s merely the only way he can think of to express himself. Through harsh words, as little as possible. So instead of saying Do you want to join me for a drive, Adam? I’d enjoy your company he says it like that. Though, honestly? He’s kind of happy Ronan doesn’t talk like that. Adam would rather not date Gansey, thanks.

Adam knows Ronan won’t be angry if he says no. He’s softened over the years. His communication skills have improved, but some habits die hard.

Adam isn’t going to say no anyway. He could use a break. And he’s not going to refuse this chance when Ronan actually proposes to do something just the two of them. It feels like ages since they’ve last done anything like that.

So he gets up and follows Ronan outside.

The dark BMW is almost invisible at this late hour. The Barns always bring Adam closer to nature, like he can properly breathe again. The lack of superficial light that usually chases the true essence of the night away, is telling. Though it’s never entirely dark. The fireflies are a reflection of Ronan’s dreams; they bring light, nature, no filter, nothing fabricated.

Their feet on the gravel are crunching through the silence. Ronan is throwing his keys is in the air, the jingling loud in the night. They don’t talk. Adam out of fear that Ronan is going to act distant again. And Ronan probably because he doesn’t want to interrupt the quietness of this moment, the way his mind is at ease.

Ronan settles behind the wheel, while Adam opens the door to the passenger seat. This is nice. This is normal, this is their thing. Since the beginning when their friendship wasn’t as much a friendship as it was Ronan insulting Adam and Adam trying to stay calm, not let it get to him.

‘Where are we going?’, Adam asks when Ronan turns the key and starts the engine. The wheels being dragged across the gravel echo through the night when Ronan turns the steering wheel and guides them outside, through the intricate little roads around the Barns, until they finally arrive on a wide, open road. The likes of which were often used for street racing, when Ronan still ran with that crowd, when Kavinsky was still alive.

‘It’s a surprise’, Ronan then answers, which Adam translates into I don’t know. More often than not, Ronan simply drives around to clear his thoughts or finds an empty field where they can stop. Watch the stars. Kiss. Talk.

So, Adam leans against the headrest and lets his eyes take in the landscape flashing by. Henrietta during summer is mostly dry and dusty. An all too strong reminder of the place Adam once upon a time had to call home. But he tries to not think of that right now, tries to link the images to the summer he’s spent at the Barns, a place he now gets to call home and that genuinely feels like it too.

Nevertheless, while he manages to do that most of the time, there’s still a weight, a dark cloud hanging above Henrietta. No matter how many new memories he makes, there will always be days where he’ll look at the fields and be reminded of the one behind the trailer park. He will always unintentionally check his surroundings before entering a store when he happens to be in town, even though he’s aware his father can’t do anything anymore. It’s hard to let go and he still hopes to one day not to feel that way.

The weight is lighter than it used to be, but it’s still there. It only completely disappears when he’s away at college. It’s almost like the air is clearer there, like there’s nothing holding him back from finally living his life free of worry and running from his past.

If one day, he has the chance to leave this town behind, he would in a heartbeat. But there’s Ronan and Adam doesn’t want to pressure him into doing things he really doesn’t want to do. He’s almost certain Ronan would follow him in any decision Adam makes, he’ll find another farm and be happy. Though, maybe it wouldn’t be his first choice.

Although, maybe his worries are for nothing and in a couple hours he’ll be alone and have the choice to do whatever he wants. With a jolt he realizes that he – he just does not want that.

Ronan’s been biting and pulling on his leather bracelets the whole ride now and he’s strangely, intensely focused on the road ahead, careful to avoid caching Adam’s eye. He’s nervous and wow, Adam thinks. This is it. This is really it. Ronan’s going to do it.

There’s a certainty crawling through his chest, slowly reaching his heart, his brain, so that no part of him has the energy to deny or ignore or push it away. He swallows the tears and wills himself to look confident and ready and strong.

It’s not as easy as it used to be.

It’s the first time the silence between the two has been palpable, loud even. Normally, it’s comfortable and they’re both stuck in their own heads and they just don’t need words. But now, it’s like the words are missing. Like someone has taken away the words and left silence when really, someone should be speaking. It’s like when you come home and you look at a wall where there used to be a painting or something, but it’s gone and when you look at it, there’s just something missing. There’s an emptiness that shouldn’t be there and it feels wrong.

That’s how the silence feels at the moment. If Adam could draw, or take things out of his dreams, he’d hang a painting right there between them.

He’s a terrible artist though, so he stays quiet and lets the wrongness expand and grow, bigger, bigger still.

Suddenly, Ronan jerks to a stops, unnecessarily dangerous. Adam is so used to it by now he doesn’t even startle.

‘Did you bring me here to kill me?’, Adam says, as a poor attempt to lighten the mood. His voice is weak, though, and he’s sure Ronan can see right through the light tone of voice.

Ronan barely even smirks and just shakes his head. He gets out of the car. Adam follows.

Ronan has brought them to a place in the middle of nowhere (to be fair, the entirety of Henrietta is basically the middle of nowhere, but this is even more nowhere than usually), in the mountains. They had to cross a small forest to get here, but it was worth it. They’ve found themselves in a clearing in the middle of the woods. Trees around them form a perfect circle, but the foliage is large enough to cover up most of the clearing anyway. He can’t say for sure, but Adam thinks there’s enough place for sunlight to enter, so it must be beautiful during the day. Not that it’s any less beautiful at night.

The ground is covered in grass and when he looks up, Adam can faintly see stars through the leaves. The moonlight shines through and illuminates the circle like it was made exactly for that purpose. The place has such a strong sense of magic, and symmetry and a wholeness where everything just fits, Gansey would say coincidence?

It reminds Adam of Cabeswater and he has a sudden surge of nostalgia and longing for that magical forest.

‘Did you dream this?’, Adam asks in awe, looking around mesmerized and reverently, distracted by the absolute beauty of it all that he momentarily forgets about the fact that Ronan is most likely going to break up with him in the next two minutes. Though, he doesn’t understand why he brought him here to do it.

‘No’, Ronan says. ‘I just found it once, while I was driving around.’

The branches of the trees have grown in such a way that it seems as if they’re extending their arms and trying to comfort Adam though an embrace. Oh, how he wishes he could hug them back. How he wishes he could feel a flare of Cabeswater surge inside him, just to feel less alone, less miserable.

‘Parrish.’ Ronan’s voice cuts through his thoughts, thought the silence. A breeze makes leaves fall, but it’s still warm enough for it to be pleasant.

‘Are you breaking up with me?’ Adam decides it will be less painful if they just go straight to the matter at hand, like a band-aid. Quick, and then it’s over.

‘What?’, Ronan asks violently. His head snaps around from where he was looking at the ground, to finally, finally, look Adam in the eye. His jaw is tense and there’s something harsh in the blue eyes that are piercing into Adam’s. But an angry Ronan can mean anything, so he doesn’t let that fool him.

‘Are you ending this? Do you not want this anymore? Because if you do, then I don’t see why you brought me to this magical place and – ‘

‘What the fuck are you talking about, Adam?’

‘Do you want to break up with me?’, he repeats, every word emphasized. ‘Please, just answer my question and get it over with.’

Ronan looks confused and then hurt and then a mixture of both. Softly, almost as feathery as a whisper, he asks; ‘Is that what you want?’

A tear has managed to escape out of the corner of Adam’s eye. Quickly, he wipes it away. He doesn’t want to be put in a vulnerable position, doesn’t like it when people see him cry. He remembers what you used to happen at the trailer park when he cried, and the reflex of hiding the tears as soon as they fall out is still inside him.

‘Obviously not.’

‘Then what the fuck?’ Ronan comes closer and brings a hand to Adam’s face, most likely wanting to wipe away another tear that’s falling, but thinks better of it and pulls back. ‘I don’t want that either.’

It takes a while for the words to sink in, his heart seems to be running late. ‘Then why did you – why were you so distant and – and why are we here? Why did – ‘

Ronan pushes something into Adam’s hand and folds Adam’s fingers around it, gently. It’s cold on his skin. Before letting go of his hand, Ronan softly kisses the back of it.

When Adam opens it, he is greeted with the sight of a ring, silver and catching in the moonlight, some sort of engraving on it that Adam can’t properly see like this. It’s beautiful and it takes Adam too long to realize it’s meant for him. And then his breath catches in his throat. He thinks he might faint. No scratch that, he might actually die.

‘Marry me, Adam’, Ronan says then, looking at him with a nervous look on his face.

Adam doesn’t believe this. Can’t believe this. Surely he’s dreaming right now. Ronan might know when he’s awake and when he’s dreaming, but Adam doesn’t always know the difference. ‘What?’, he whispers finally.

‘Let’s get fucking married, Adam.’

Now, when Adam meets Ronan’s eye, the other boy is wearing the hint of a smile, but it’s not really there. His eyes still reflect his nerves and fear, but there’s a hopeful undertone there too. And a tenderness in his gaze Adam recognizes as love.

‘I – I don’t –‘

‘I know it’s fast and unexpected, I didn’t know how to ask and how you’d react, but I just – I want this and I always will. I – I couldn’t not ask.’

‘Yes.’

‘What?’ For a moment, Ronan looks surprised and doesn’t say anything. All he does is hold his gaze on Adam as if he’s frozen to his place, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. His deep blue eyes focused on Adam’s face, without blinking. It’s a little bit like the way he looks when he brings back a dream and is paralyzed for a couple of seconds. Then, his smile breaks open on his face and Adam is, after all these years spent together, still taken aback by the force that one smile of Ronan Lynch has on the world.

Before they became a thing, Adam already knew Ronan’s smiles could set the world on fire, could probably start a war. But those smiles were sharp and bitter and yielded like a knife, out there to destroy his enemies. It was the opposite of what a smile is supposed to be, really. It belonged in the middle of a battlefield, it was not surprising that it belonged to a boy made of fire and smoke.

But this smile, his real smile, the one approximately five people on this world have had the honor of seeing and live to tell the tale, is powerful in an entirely different way. The pure and all-encompassing happiness that it takes to put that smile on Ronan Lynch’s face is strong enough to grow a forest, or – or cure cancer or something. It’s so strong, blinding almost. Adam loves it and wants to keep it in his heart forever so that when he’s sad, missing Ronan in college, he can take it out and look at it and feel a little better.

‘Yes, Ronan, I’ll marry you.’

Ronan pulls Adam closer by the back of his head, the other hand fisted in his shirt and kisses him. Kisses him and kisses him and kisses him. Until his lips are numb and the air in his lungs is gone and his heart is beating out of his chest, trying to connect to Ronan’s. Beat in sync.

‘I can’t fucking wait. Let’s got to Vegas right now,’ Ronan says when they finally pull back, their foreheads still pressed together and their breaths mingling as if they’re breathing as one.

‘I mean, sure. If you want Gansey to kill us because he won’t get to be best man and give one of his long-ass speeches.’

‘Man’, Ronan chuckles, ‘he’s going to fucking cry.’

‘Yeah, he is.’ Adam can see it and he can’t help the little, disbelieving laugh spilling from his lips. He can’t believe this is real. Ronan smiles softly when he hears the sound.

‘He’s going to cry more than you are. At our wedding.’, Ronan says.

‘Me? If one of us is crying at our wedding, it’s most definitely you.’

‘Just wait ‘till you hear my vows! No eye will remain dry, hey that rhymes. I’ll even manage to make Declan shed a tear and we all know he’s got a heart of ice.’

Adam can’t stop smiling at Ronan’s carefree speech. ‘We’re writing our own vows then?’

‘I don’t know. We’ll see. Probably better if we don’t. I wouldn’t know how to – how to put all this into words.’

He doesn’t have to specify what this means, Adam can guess.

Then he remembers the ring he’s still holding in his hand and detaches himself from Ronan. He looks at it again and the way the light catches on it, the moon reflected, it’s truly perfect. Simple, but beautiful. Just the way Ronan knows Adam likes it.

He carefully slides it on his ring finger and he thinks yes, because this is his life now. He’s at an Ivy League and has the chance to escape this town, he’s loved and here he is, sliding the engagement ring of a wonderful, breathtaking boy on his finger and he’s happy. Which isn’t something that used to be on his list of things he wanted.

What do you want, Adam?

To get out of Henrietta.

To feel awake when my eyes are open.

To be successful.

To marry Ronan Lynch.

To be happy.

That’s all there is.

Ronan watches Adam look at the ring, Adam feels his gaze. He can’t believe he actually thought Ronan was going to break up with him. He was so sure and God, he would’ve never in a million years considered this to be the reason of Ronan’s strange behavior. But he’s so, so glad to be wrong for once.

And yes, it may be fast and they may be young. But they’ve had to endure way more than any person their age should have to go through. So why shouldn’t the good things come early too? Their lives have been hard enough, now it’s time for the happy tears.

They don’t have to get married right away, though Adam wouldn’t mind. It’s not like it’s going to be a big thing. They don’t have that many people to invite, anyway and that’s fine, because the people that are here are more than enough. Maybe Adam wants to invite some of his college friends, maybe Ronan wants to invite some of the people he got to know through farming.

And even if they don’t get married immediately, the ring on their finger will be a reminder that they’re in it for the long run. That this is it. They are loved. They knew this before, of course, but the doubt takes every chance to creep back inside when things get a little rough. When the distance takes its toll and they end up lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, debating whether they should call or not. Whether the other wants them to call. Whether all the times apart have taken away the others feeling. Whether it’s all been a dream after all.

But the ring will be there to remind them of a promise made. By two boys who hold their promises close to their heart like it’s all they have.

And if they do end up getting married soon, then Adam will definitely not complain.

‘I’m thinking of moving closer to you,’ Ronan says then, breaking the silence.

‘But The Barns. You love The Barns, I thought – I don’t want you to sacrifice that for me.’

Ronan is quiet for a moment. Then he says with certainty in his voice: ‘The Barns were my father’s. I’m not going to sell them, but. I just – I want to make something of my own.’

‘That’s’, Adam is overcome by emotions, all of a sudden. ‘That’s great, Ronan.’

‘And I’m tired of missing you.’

‘Me too.’

Ronan kisses him again, soft this time, without the hunger of before.

‘I love you’, Adam whispers.

Ronan smiles again. Adam is addicted to that smile, he thinks he could live off that smile if he tried. ‘I love you too’, he whispers back.

It echoes into the night, the trees rustle like they agree. If Adam closes his eyes, he can almost pretend he’s back in Cabeswater. Happy.  

I hope you liked it! *fingers crossed* Why do I have to end each fic I write with an I love you? I’m too sappy, it’s A Problem. God. Anyway. The title is from ‘Sleep baby sleep’ by Broods, which is such a Pynch song, tbh.

Send me requests or talk to me! Both is fine 

Read other things I’ve written.

Love, Jasmine

[verdigrisprowl]

May 31 Blurr’s Horror Stream - Villanos & The Lego Batman Movie

Multiple people objected strenuously to Starscream’s assertion that Megatron could be his nemesis, despite the fact that they’re on the same side and Megatron obviously doesn’t see Starscream as his nemesis. Two different pairs of people went “I’d be honored to have you as a nemesis.” “Aww~” Bevel officially signed on with Blurr’s crew. Prowl showed up in a foul mood, stayed in a foul mood, and left in a foul mood.

Missed the start.

ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy sticks where he is, but Rumble runs over to hang out.* B l u r r: / shoves the stuff off his couch and just slouches / ItsyBitsySpyers: //I love that line.// B l u r r: Which line? Whirl: *he is welcome, as always, to join* B l u r r: [[ Kay is everyone ready, then? Cause yall gotta read subtitles for a minute ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: //The shoe thing.// B l u r r: Ah... yes. Classic line. Sunstreaker: [[ ready ]] FakeProwl: ((still ready)) Whirl: *gets re-settled* Well, you've got my number, Teach. B l u r r: Mmhm... I know. Bevel: [[still ready Whirl: ((and ye)) B l u r r: [[ kay im gonna assumeeveryone's ready then ]] B l u r r: *everyone else ]] B l u r r: Anyway, being back on Earth connected me with a ton of new scrap to watch. So. B l u r r: [[ this cartoon is the only thing i want to see on tv for months tbh. ]] Whirl: *snorts* Whirl: Oh, hey. Brainstorm made one of those. Starscream: ((This is great ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave needs that.* Whirl: ((I like their little mook)) B l u r r: / he likes it because it reminds him of him and Blaster / Starscream: hehehe B l u r r: [[ and daaas it. ]] FakeProwl: ((i'm love)) Starscream: ((what's it called B l u r r: [[ That's all we have so far anyway. But *lifts leggie* is my new cartoon ]] B l u r r: [[ Villanos ]] Bevel: [[that looks awesome FakeProwl: ((they're gonna start making full episodes soon?)) B l u r r: [[ yeah. In Mexico. ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((a little frantic but i think i would watch it)) FakeProwl: ((can't wait)) Whirl: ((not something I'd watch on my own, but seems all right enough)) B l u r r: [[ Tbh the english version sucks ]] B l u r r: [[ Black Hat sounds boring ]] B l u r r: [[ he sounds better in spanish. And Flug sounds better in spanish too ]] FakeProwl: ((it might be frantic because right now they're just making mid-commercial mini episodes?)) Starscream: ((was that spanish? B l u r r: yeah ]] B l u r r: [[ yeah, theyre minisodes between commercials ]] B l u r r: [[ like bumps. The longer episodes will be better ]] Bevel: [[hopefully it's scheduling isn't as weird as SU Starscream: ((I understood a surprising amount, I speak Italian B l u r r: [[ depends on where it's gonna fit on the US lineup ]] B l u r r: [[ the lineup in Mexico is relying on Villanos, apparently, to revive Cartoon Network ]] B l u r r: [[ and since it's a show about the villains, they think it'll work out well enough ]] Whirl: ((hopefully it does well there!)) B l u r r: god i hope so cause i love it ]] FakeProwl: ((it's fun!! I wish it well)) Tarantulas: (( crosses ALL the fingers FakeProwl: ((I like all the characters. Except the bear, but I can put up with a derpy sidekick animal.)) B l u r r: the only one I don't like is Dementia because she's the typical "in love with the villain" type ]] Sunstreaker: [[ i love the bear. him cute. ]] Whirl: ((I like the mook!)) B l u r r: but apparently the longer episodes will make her more fleshed out ]] Whirl: ((everyone else is kinda blah, but I have a weakness for mooks)) Bevel: [[i liked dementia until she pulled the rawr thing with the statue B l u r r: LOL the bear is a failed experiment on Black Hat's part. And Flug. ]] FakeProwl: ((she could be either really good or really bad, but I tend to give the benefit of the doubt to obsessively-in-love characters.)) Whirl: ((Yes, Flug)) B l u r r: [[ SO its like his messy child ]] Whirl: ((hence the airplane shirt)) B l u r r: [[ anyway. Y'all ready for this lego thing? ]] FakeProwl: ((ye!!)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((*SLAMS HANDS DOWN* YES)) Sunstreaker: [[ 5.0.5. I even like the bear's name ]] B l u r r: [[ BUT im glad u guys like my dumb cartoon choice ]] Sunstreaker: [[ i like everything about the beb ]] Whirl: ((YEE LEGO BATMAN)) Bevel: [[yes yes definitely yes ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble frowns. Is that true? Why isn't Crosscut here?* Whirl: *snorts* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He would know.* B l u r r: / leans back on couch and kcks pedes up / ItsyBitsySpyers: //Frag's an ab?// B l u r r: Muscles. Whirl: Those stomach bumps. *pats his own bump-less stomach* Whirl: Heh, slick. Of course they took a chopper. ItsyBitsySpyers: *What a lovely face.* Whirl: ((this is so great already)) FakeProwl: ((this is the best joker)) B l u r r: [[ my favorite joker ]] Bevel: *pats stomach, metal plates probably don't count as abs but she has like five of them* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Ohhhh! Okay! I remember this Batman fragger. TC showed this stuff, yeah?// ItsyBitsySpyers: \\THINK SO.\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: //...He got enough henchmen?// B l u r r: [[ they really ARE all real, too ]] B l u r r: theyre all canon characters ]] Whirl: ((YEP)) Whirl: ((i was sitting there going "ok when they gonna say calendr man")) Starscream: Humans come up with the strangest names for themselves Whirl: I dunno, I say, if you're gonna do it, do it right. Get as many henchmen as possible, B l u r r: Henchmen are good. Sunstreaker: [[ tag urself i'm condiment king ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: //Pff. If they was real good, he wouldn't need more'n seven.// Starscream: Henchmen are backstabbers Starscream: I would know Whirl: ((Gentleman Ghost)) FakeProwl: ((im the dude with the clock head)) Whirl: ((Clock King!)) Whirl: Well, I mean, you're also YOU. Whirl: Who WOULDN'T wanna backstab you? B l u r r: My crew works together right. No one wants to mutiny. Whirl: ...or Megatron, for that matter. Starscream: I meant that I backstab Megatron ItsyBitsySpyers: \\WHO THE FRAG'S THE CITY PLANNER!?\\ Starscream: I was tolerable once, I was backstabbed one too many times Whirl: No. I can't believe that. Whirl: YOU? Tolerable? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble giggles. A tolerable Starscream.* B l u r r: You? Starscream: Yes really B l u r r: Impossible. Whirl: *places  claw dramatically over his chest* B l u r r: Starscream has never been tolerable. Whirl: ((also this is like. GREAT ACTION MOVIE DIRECTING TOO)) Starscream: I wasn't born evil you know ItsyBitsySpyers: \\HAHA!\\ Whirl: SNRK. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh, there's music? Now Soundwave is amused.* Whirl: Anyway--suffice it to say that I don't really believe you, Starscream, and even if you weren't born evil, you WERE born annoying, I'm sure. Starscream: If that's what you want to think Whirl: *snickering louder* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\BRO. WE -GOTTA- GET US SOME MUSIC.\\ Whirl: YES, you two do. Whirl: And a weaponized electric guitar. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Frag yeah.// Bevel: *perks at weaponized guitar* I could totally make that. ItsyBitsySpyers: //...Wait, yeah?// Whirl: Yeah? *looks to her* Starscream: is that... an inuendo ItsyBitsySpyers: ((YOU'RE BREAKING HIS HEART, BATS)) Whirl: Also, that's harsh. Damn, Whirl: That's not how you treat your nemesis. FakeProwl: ((look at his little face)) Whirl: ...also, uh. That bomb. B l u r r: [[ poor joker. ]] Bevel: Yeah! B l u r r: That's not how my nemesis treats me. Whirl: Well, you need to get a better nemesis. Starscream: I wish Megatron treated me that well ItsyBitsySpyers: [[A good nemesis is worthy of respect.]] A long pause. [[Plenty of hatred and loathing. But respect.]] Whirl: You're young--it takes time. I'm sure you'll find that special someone. Whirl: And, hot damn, Sh-- ... Bevel. Whirl: I'd love to see it. B l u r r: I'm not even sure if I have a nemesis... ItsyBitsySpyers: //Seriously. Ya make one 'n I get dibs.// B l u r r: / taps chin / Whirl: If you don't know, then you don't. Bevel: *she is already mentally trying to figure weapon guitar out* Ok. Whirl: Ther4e's nothing quite like that special firsson of homicidal rage, respect, and bloodlust you get when you make a proper nemesis. *sighs* Starscream: For a human that was a pretty impressive flight skills Whirl: ...*frisson damn B l u r r: / frowns/ I wouldn't consider Rodimus worthy of being my nemesis... more like a rival. B l u r r: And a pain in the aft. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\BET I COULD TAKE HIM.\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: //Duh. He's meat.// Whirl: Yeah, a rival is not a nemesis. Starscream: Megatron's an awful nemesis, I need to find a better one Whirl: He's not a nemesis. He's your boss. Whirl: Or, well, was, I guess. Starscream: He is so Whirl: It's, like... you can't be someone's nemesis if you're THEIR punching bag. B l u r r: ... true. Starscream: I almost killed him B l u r r: That doesn't mean anything. B l u r r: That just means you didn't succeed in murder. Starscream: I took over from him three times, every time I did a better job than he did Whirl: Starscream, that's just... depressing. Whirl: You need to go get yourself a nemesis. FakeProwl: ((of all the nights for prowl to not be here)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((*makes grabbyhands at him*)) B l u r r: I want one... B l u r r: / taps chinplate/ But, not sure who's worthy enough Whirl: Like I said, Blurr--you're young. Whirl: And you're tough. You've got nemesis potential for someone else, easy. FakeProwl: ((he'd be clawing at his seat hearing starscream talk about megatron being nemesis and whirl saying starscream needs a proper one)) B l u r r: /rolls optic / I doubt it. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((*DRAGS HIM OVER i say*)) Starscream: It's my life's mission to get rid of him, if that isn't a nemesis what is? Whirl: ((LORD. POOR PROWL)) B l u r r: No one assumes I'm their nemesis ItsyBitsySpyers: [[There is an entire multiverse of mechs waiting to get on your very last neural net sensor.]] Whirl: ((omfg0) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((I LOVE THAT BIT)) B l u r r: [[ yes! ]] FakeProwl: ((this movie is great)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((god i love this *** movie and it only gets better)) B l u r r: [[ it does ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: \\SOUNDS LIKE ME.\\ Whirl: Same, Frenzy. *snrks* Whirl: Also, Starscream, face it--you were his punching bag. B l u r r: Well, how am I supposed to knowif I have a nemesis? B l u r r: Are they going to tell me? Bevel: Snake clowns. *laughs* Whirl: Like I said--you'll KNOW. B l u r r: I doubt that. /crosses arms and sulks/ ItsyBitsySpyers: [[No. They will simply aggravate you more than anything else in the entirety of existence possibly could.]] Whirl: You'll feel it. It's a one-of-a-kind feeling. B l u r r: [[ this is me ]] B l u r r: [[ ME ]] Starscream: ((me Whirl: ((IM DYING0) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((it's true i can confirm)) Bevel: [[tuxedo dress up party is definitely the only way to get me to a party Whirl: *CRACKS UP* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((it puff)) Starscream: I wasn't his punching bag, I'm better than he could ever be Whirl: ((FUC.FG. POLE DANCING)) FakeProwl: ((my cd rack doesn't fall apart)) B l u r r: [[ I LOVE THE VILLAINS ]] B l u r r: ... but I know plenty of people that aggravate me. B l u r r: / flexes claws/ What is it supposed to feel like when you have a nemesis? Whirl: Keep telling yourself that, Starscream. Either way, I'm done talking about your sad, sad life. B l u r r: There's a line of people that want to kill me. Starscream: My life is happy I'll have you know Starscream: ((that's horrible B l u r r: [[ THIS DSBFD ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: //That. It's kinda like that. Only ya wanna slaughter 'em instead.// ItsyBitsySpyers: //So more like... "Yer gonna die in my arms tonight."// _Whirl: Pfft! Bevel: Ha. B l u r r: That sounds weird... _Whirl: Like I said: they make you feel homicidal and weirdly respectful all at once. B l u r r: / scratches helm / I usually think that about a lot of people. ItsyBitsySpyers: ((STATISTIIIIIICS)) B l u r r: / slouches and grumbles/ I'm not gonna find one of those... FakeProwl: ((why did i decide not to bring prowl oh my god)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((IT'S NOT TOO LATE)) _Whirl: Well, maybe not. _Whirl: *shrugs* Certainly not if you mope about it. FakeProwl: ((... yeah ok.)) _Whirl: Be assertive! Seize your nemesis! _Whirl: ((DO IT)) Starscream: Okay if you respect them than Megatron definitely isn't my nemesis B l u r r: I don't have anyone to seize! _Whirl: Not YET. FakeProwl: *... appears late* B l u r r: / VENTS / That's annoying. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Immediate ping. Hello.* _Whirl: I already told you, you're young, I'm not gonna LABOR the point to make you feel better. *deadpan stare* FakeProwl: *he desperately wants a distraction* B l u r r: Young and constantly in a state of extinction FakeProwl: *takes seat and focuses on screen* _Whirl: Like many of us. Starscream: proper ethics pfft Starscream: who needs that _Whirl: See, look how useful an army of henchmen is! B l u r r: [[ i love that he's still a master builder. ]] Starscream: Henchmen are nothing but trouble, watch them mess something u[ Starscream: *up B l u r r: Henchmen are good if you're a great planner. FakeProwl: ((these movies may be nonsense but they have Continuity)) _Whirl: I mean, I can understand how you'd get nothing but bad henchmen if you're working with a dearth of charisma. Bevel: Barbara is kicking all their butts. Awesome. Starscream: I am a good planner, henchmen are nothing but trouble _Whirl: Hey, Ravage is in this movie... ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy nudges Bevel.* \\BETCHA CAN'T DO *THAT*. Bevel: Yeah maybe. *sticks tongue out at Frenzy* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Boy, this sounds familiar* FakeProwl: *it does* Starscream: why is he flirting with everyone FakeProwl: ... What's going on. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Incoming summary and highlight reel?* B l u r r: You're a good planner? FakeProwl: *... oh no. he sympathizes with joker* B l u r r: /snort/ Oh, please. Starscream: yes, I am B l u r r: The henchmen aren't your problem B l u r r: It's your planning. B l u r r: Look, I can get mechs to attack in a uniform formation.. _Whirl: Man, and what a masterful strike. _Whirl: Hitting his nemesis where it hurts. Very clever. Starscream: So can I, when they aren't backstabbing me ItsyBitsySpyers: *LOUD HUFF* B l u r r: If you're a backstabber, then you're expecting too much from henchmen Starscream: true B l u r r: you can't complain about someone backstabbing you. Starscream: Doesn't mean I'm bad at planning though FakeProwl: *the guy with the nemesis who doesn't acknowledge him who surrendered to his nemesis. annnd he's a bad guy. rip.* B l u r r: Sure it does. B l u r r: You backstab because your plans are loose. FakeProwl: *focus on the police commissioner. prowl approves of her completely.* B l u r r: If your plans were truly masterful, then you wouldn't need to backstab Starscream: Megatron is my leader, any act against him would be backstabbing Starscream: technically speaking _Whirl: Oh, wait, you mean--you're STILL his punching bag? _Whirl: *LAUGHS* B l u r r: backstabbing your leader still means you're poor with planning. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[What kind of Greatest Detective doesn't notice a human youngling running around their house for a week.]] _Whirl: He's having a crisis. FakeProwl: Does he call himself that? _Whirl: *snickers* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Yes.]] FakeProwl: He's demonstrably wrong. _Whirl: ((HAHAHA)) FakeProwl: He's got nothing on the police with the— FakeProwl: ... statistics. FakeProwl: *annnnnnd now he's sad* B l u r r: See, now THAT is planning. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[The Barbara human?]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy looks over at his Boss and squints.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave looks down.* [[Don't be ridiculous. You're not expendable.]] _Whirl: Also--not quiet. Not even remotely. *dryly* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy huffs noisily (of course) and folds his arms.* B l u r r: I remember being expendable... /vents/ It was fantastic. FakeProwl: ... Yes. The Barbara human. _Whirl: Life gave ME  seatbelt. Starscream: No seatbelts? _Whirl: Or, well, something very like. B l u r r: K-Kyeheheh, what's a seat belt. Starscream: My altmode has seatbelts ItsyBitsySpyers: [[And that is why external docking is superior.]] _Whirl: *sits up, pops the lid of his cockpit, and gestures down to the seating inside* _Whirl: They're in there. Bevel: *could probably make seatbelts if she wanted but why* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble stands up to try to get a look* B l u r r: I don't have seat belts... _Whirl: *shifts to lower his chest so Rumble can see. It's Zori's Former Hiding Spot* B l u r r: Well, I mean, I think I do... B l u r r: I almost strangled a human with 'em ItsyBitsySpyers: //Huh.// *Sits back down.* //We ain't got 'em. Can't nobody wear 'em like Knock Out anyway.// _Whirl: ((KRYPTO)) Bevel: [[ha ha hal B l u r r: [[ im the flash ]] _Whirl: *leans back and snaps his cockpit back* They came with my interior. And... wait, where wre his? ItsyBitsySpyers: //Them neck ones.// Motions with both hands. _Whirl: *pauses and tries to remember* _Whirl: Ohh, wait. Those were seatbelts? Huh. FakeProwl: *... thinks about knock out's neck* FakeProwl: *hmmmm* _Whirl: *tilts his head just the tiniest bit* B l u r r: /shifts/ Well, let me say. I am glad Thundertron isn't my nemesis B l u r r: because that whole slaughter would have been a let down. Starscream: unlimited cookies sounds good Starscream: maybe I should be a vigilante _Whirl: *snickers( _Whirl: I been there. ...maybe not with a dolphin in there. B l u r r: Same. I just got my weapons stripped off me recently. B l u r r: It was awkward... but thrilling. Starscream: I hate being weaponless _Whirl: *sly look* Optimus did it, then? B l u r r: K-Kyeheheh. Yes. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[If only.]] _Whirl: I'm never weaponless. *clicks his claws* Starscream: lucky you B l u r r: Me neither. B l u r r: Always got weapons installed on me. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He's not so sure about the smart part.]] Starscream: I do too, Megatron tended to tear them out _Whirl: Yeah, that's never fun. B l u r r: Well, that sounds like a personal problem. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Ain't nobody takin' my weapons off. Not unless they don't like their spark no more// B l u r r: I never let anyone tear mine out. _Whirl: Had the old chest-guns removed a few times, but I'M basically a weapon, guns or no. Bevel: I always have weapons. _Whirl: (9OMG THE GREMLINS)) _Whirl: ((this is greAT) B l u r r: [[ THE DALEKS! ]] FakeProwl: *right. okay. all this talk about police and being a hero is just depressing him more. leans on Soundwave* ItsyBitsySpyers: *...Ah. Yes. This would be a bit of a sting, wouldn't it.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Wraps arm. Well, maybe something in this will give Prowl a better idea than the one he had last time.* _Whirl: I like that eyeball guy. Starscream: The tower just walking away B l u r r: See, now, I want one of those. Starscream: Why is there a release all button _Whirl: ((i'm gonna die)) _Whirl: Sor-on? _Whirl: I like that one. B l u r r: [[ I LOVE THE DALEKS ]] Starscream: hehe Starscream: ((british robots B l u r r: Now THAT is how you get henchmen motivated. _Whirl: He upgraded. Bevel: Sauron is really evil but he got beat by a ring getting thrown into a volcano. FakeProwl: *... very effective* _Whirl: Does that happen in this movie, or...? B l u r r: Don't think so. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Think it already did. He was in jail.// _Whirl: Well, there, he got better! Bevel: It was in a book. And a movie. FakeProwl: *mental note: if he ever needs to take dwon Cybertron, arrange a jailbreak.* B l u r r: It's perfect! /rubs claws together / B l u r r: I love when the villains get the upper claw! B l u r r: I hope he makes that hero grovel at his feet. ItsyBitsySpyers: *...He hopes Prowl does not take THAT advice.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Just whatever the red furred human has to say.* _Whirl: *why not prowl should beatbox* Starscream: We need more shows where the villain wins B l u r r: MM. B l u r r: Naturally. FakeProwl: *prowl would be terrible at beatboxing.* _Whirl: *but it would bring the rest of us joy* ItsyBitsySpyers: *It's strange advice, that's why. Even he wouldn't do it. ... Laserbeak might.* _Whirl: ((movie no why u gotta hurt me like that)) Starscream: lol _Whirl: ((why u gotta give bane that dumb voice)) B l u r r: [[ omg i know ]] _Whirl: That eye guy is just. Too cool. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\THE WORM WAS BETTER.\\ _Whirl: ...yeah. _Whirl: The worm was, but I appreciate his whole look. ...and the lava-barfing. FakeProwl: *... rubs helm* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Looks over.* FakeProwl: *buildings getting knocked down. devastator.* ItsyBitsySpyers: @P (txt): ...Noise? FakeProwl: @Soundwave «No. Wanton devastation.» ItsyBitsySpyers: //Your eye don't barf lava, right?// _Whirl: *snickering* B l u r r: It would be an interesting concept... Starscream: thee lightning has impeccable aim ItsyBitsySpyers: @P: (txt): ...Understood. _Whirl: *hand over spark* _Whirl: He was too good for this film.. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Adds mass building destruction to his list of things to be aware of in the future.* ItsyBitsySpyers: //So, I'm jus' sayin'. Good costume for this year.// _Whirl: Hmm? *looks down* Which one? ItsyBitsySpyers: //The tower thing. Or Batguy.// _Whirl: Hmm. *taps the underside of his helm* I dunno exactly how I could pull that off... he _Whirl: s got no limbs. _Whirl: But he DOES have a cool look. B l u r r: Is Batman a hero or villain? B l u r r: He seems like an anti...villain... Starscream: Both B l u r r: but an anti-hero. FakeProwl: *mutters* An idiot. B l u r r: He doesn't seem capable of doing things alone B l u r r: It's not that easy. _Whirl: What about you? Any ideas of your own, from this one? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Quiet huff* B l u r r: Hn? FakeProwl: *"protecting" useful people is a waste of resources that should be better spent protecting everyone else* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble scratches his chin. Soundwave just flicks his hand. If Blurr didn't catch the mutter, it doesn't matter* Starscream: I told Megatron I hated him the first time we met _Whirl: This is a movie about nemeses just as much as it is about anything else. This is great. B l u r r: [[ which mutter because it wasn't clear who it was to >>;; ]] B l u r r: [[ Whirl and Blurr both have one eye >>;;; ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((prowl was muttering about batman i think)) FakeProwl: ((ye)) B l u r r: [[ oh lmao. ]] _Whirl: ((yes!)) B l u r r: [[ im typing an assignment on the side so lmao ]] B l u r r: [[ im lost. ]] B l u r r: Well, I can think of plenty of mechs I hate. B l u r r: / taps chin/ only one that I've told. B l u r r: I usually just kill what annoys me. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[It's not just -hate-. They have to be worthy. Capable of foiling as many of your moves as you do of theirs.]] FakeProwl: *... are we talking about nemeses* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Welcome to the party, Prowl* _Whirl: *pauses thoughtfully* You know, some holographic effects could get that eye thing going... B l u r r: /crosses arms/ I suppose I ItsyBitsySpyers: //One of them dinosaur things.// FakeProwl: *rghgh* B l u r r: have had plenty of thorns in my side... _Whirl: Yeah? The... the raptor guy? B l u r r: It sure as frag isn't Starscream. B l u r r: He's not worth any respect. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Yeah. I seen them Park films. They're killer.// _Whirl: Nice. Starscream: This movie is inspiring me to kill Megatron again B l u r r: You haven't even killed him one time. FakeProwl: Oh, for—! Starscream: I sort of did... he came back FakeProwl: You can't be a nemesis with someone on the SAME SIDE as you! FakeProwl: That's not how it works! That's RIDICULOUS. Starscream: Why not B l u r r: You need to learn how to kill people. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Mildly alarmed sitting upright.* B l u r r: I could educate you. It'll be a one time lesson. Starscream: We aren't on the same side ItsyBitsySpyers: *...And now curious leaning. That's an oddly strong feeling.*( _Whirl: Different Starscream, Prowl. B l u r r: [[ night wing!! ]] Starscream: I fight for the Decepticons because I can't be an Autobot, not because I like him FakeProwl: You're fighting for the same goal, aren't you? For the same faction to win? Starscream: My goal is to defeat Megatron _Whirl: ((wait, nix that)) _Whirl: ((thought that was directed at blurr)) B l u r r: [[ is okay. ]] B l u r r: [[ i did too haha ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy cackles about the one time death lesson* B l u r r: / grins at Frenzy/ FakeProwl: That's—ridiculous. YOU'RE ridiculous. That's not how it works. Of all the... Starscream: Why not?  It makes perfect sense to me B l u r r: You don't make ANY sense. FakeProwl: That's because you're a moron who doesn't get how nemeses work. B l u r r: Starscream  doesn't know how anything works. Starscream: Okay, then how do they work ItsyBitsySpyers: *Yes, do tell. He's quite interested now.* FakeProwl: You. Are. Supposed. To. Be. On. Opposite. Sides. _Whirl: I already TOLD you, Starscream, damn. B l u r r: /vents/ This whole family theme is annoying. Can we go back to the Joker? B l u r r: I like him. _Whirl: I explained it IN DETAIL, how thick can you possibly be? Starscream: We are on opposite sides, he wants to live and I want to kill him B l u r r: Whirl, it's Starscream. FakeProwl: You're on the same faction! B l u r r: It's not your fault he didn't retain anything Starscream: Just because we are on the same side of the war doesn't mean anything _Whirl: You're right, Teach. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave shakes his helm. No wonder his former faction had trouble getting things done.* FakeProwl: *grumbles, sits back, rubs his optics* Bevel: *giggles* B l u r r: [[ B l u r r: * [[ "Im irritating" <-- it me ]] _Whirl: Okay,w e all know, the only appropriate superhero theme is Shoot to Thrill. FakeProwl: *he shouldn't have come tonight* B l u r r: Right? B l u r r: I wonder if we have a theme song as pirates... /taps chin/ Starscream: If Megabutt isn't my nemesis then who is ItsyBitsySpyers: @P: (txt): Starscream: idiot. Ignore. Standard Decepticon rule. Bevel: Bet you could write one. Like Batman did. B l u r r: [[ i love this part ]] _Whirl: *approves of this particular brand of family bonding* _Whirl: *he may or may not be briefly reminded of a dreadful little murdercloud* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Yes. He is.» ItsyBitsySpyers: @P: (txt): Nemesis identity, Prowl's? Insistence suggests experience. B l u r r: / claw to chassis. So romantic / FakeProwl: *.....................* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Awwwwwwww.// Starscream: So much romance Starscream: ew FakeProwl: @Soundwave «None.» _Whirl: I know, right? *delighted* _Whirl: Not ROMANCE, idiot. _Whirl: Nemeses. B l u r r: I want one of those-! ItsyBitsySpyers: *Surprised tilt.* _Whirl: Work for it, Teach. _Whirl: You'll get there. Starscream: Really cause they're talking like people who are in love FakeProwl: *that was a touching nemesis speech, dammit* _Whirl: You just don't understand, Starscream. *shakes his head* Starscream: Don't understand what? B l u r r: Rodimus could have been one of those... but he is an idiot. B l u r r: [[ I CANNOT WITH THE SPANISH ]] B l u r r: [[ every damn time, i laugh ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): None? Not understood. Many worthy qualities. Intelligence, persistence, influence, idealism, evasiveness. Satisfactory kick. FakeProwl: ((... wasn't the Joker one of the "every villain" that Batman promised to send back)) B l u r r: [[ nah ]] B l u r r: [[ they wanted THEIR villains back ]] _Whirl: ((sauron is also sort of still there, albeit... dead ish)) FakeProwl: ((but joker WAS one of their villains. for like fifteen minutes, but still.)) FakeProwl: ((longer than batman was there, and batman assumed HE was supposed to go back too)) B l u r r: [[ idk man fbdhk ]] B l u r r: [[ Joker is weird. ]] _Whirl: That was a damn good movie, Teach. _Whirl: I didn't expect to like that nearly as much. Bevel: Catchy. FakeProwl: *yeah, soundwave, rub it in why don't you.* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «None.» ItsyBitsySpyers: @P: (txt): If recognition: failed, all enemies: unworthy. B l u r r: /snerk/ I liked it, too ItsyBitsySpyers: *Was recording that.* _Whirl: *leans backa nd streeetches* _Whirl: Not a bad diversion from horror, not at all. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... Or, I don't meet their standards.» Bevel: That was really fun. B l u r r: Well, stuck on Earth so, I have to come up with something. B l u r r: Besides, it was about villains... sort of. ItsyBitsySpyers: \\F'REAL, I LIKED THAT. LOTSA ACTION. WAY BETTER'N THE QUIZ THING.\\ B l u r r: Kyeheheh. What can I say? I'm good at what I do. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Impossible. Prowl: admirable. Would accept, if beginning circumstances: different. B l u r r: Makes me wonder what type of Nemesis I would have... B l u r r: no one can match me for speed. _Whirl: Sadly, mine is dead. Or, well, sort of. _Whirl: A multiversal versiion of him popped up a while back, but he's gone again. B l u r r: Hnnh. B l u r r: You don't irritate me, but if you did, I would be incredibly grateful if YOU were my nemesis, Whirl. FakeProwl: *oh, that's... actually really flattering.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Jazz will always be the best of them, of course, but he would consider Prowl worth his time. His own could have been, if she'd really dedicated herself. A step above Blaster, or right around there.* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... Thank you.» B l u r r: / smirks and pulls some wiring up from his arm / You're fun to fight with. Imagine if we just fought each other all the time. What a thrill. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Dips his helm.* Bevel: *has no nemesis and wouldn't even know where to begin with getting one* _Whirl: Well, damn, Teach. Thanks. _Whirl: *withoiut knowing, he dips his helm at Blurr at very nearly the exact time Soundwave does to prowl* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy looks up at Bevel* B l u r r: / flicks finials and nods / ItsyBitsySpyers: *...................................................* ItsyBitsySpyers: \\...NAH. I'D WHOOP YER AFT TOO EASY.\\ _Whirl: Oh, I know I am. *lifts his helm, unabashedly proud* And yeah, you're fast, and that kinetic-thing you've got going is tough to get around... but I bet I could do it. _Whirl: It'd be a hell of a fight. B l u r r: All the time. B l u r r: It would be entertaining. And incredibly thrilling. B l u r r: But, I don't HATE you. So, it doesn't work, does it? ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): ...Humorous reminder: alliance preferred. B l u r r: Even though the respect factor is there. Bevel: *pushes Frenzy over with a grin* Ok, Lil' Bit ItsyBitsySpyers: \\OOF!\\ ItsyBitsySpyers: *Swings at her arm* Bevel: *laughs* _Whirl: Yeah. Like, the respect factor is there, and the DESIRE to fight--but that's just normal friendship. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Heh. Same.» B l u r r: Mmm... but, we could stil lfight sometimes. B l u r r: If you want to. _Whirl: Ultimately I don't wanna destroy you, y'know? When you have a nemesis, it's like... that's it. That's the perfect moment, even though you don't want it to end. FakeProwl: *Soundwave gunning for him would be... well, not LITERALLY Prowl's worst nightmare—because Prowl's worst nightmare involves Insecticons—but it would be very close.* _Whirl: Gimme a time and a place, Teach, I'm ALWAYS down for a scuffle. B l u r r: Kyeheheheh. Good. B l u r r: /nods helm a little/ Yeah, I get that. I've never met anyone who balances both. Well... maybe... maybe one person. B l u r r: / taps chinplate/ But, he doesn't really think of me that way. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...That is it. That is how you know.]] _Whirl: Hey, it took me millions of years to finally meet Killmaster. _Whirl: And there were a LOT of mecha I really, REALLY, REALLY--*stiffens a bit* REALLY. HATED. B l u r r: I knew a mech that I hated so much, I wanted to kill him, but it was too fun to let him die... _Whirl: ...before him. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[If you think you would regret the manner of their death if it were not by your hands.]] _Whirl: *nods* yep. And when you know that's how they feel, too. B l u r r: oh, well... I'm pretty sure everyone who wnats me dead is B l u r r: honest about it _Whirl: *relaxes a touch* See, that's why Megatron can't be your nemesis, Starscream, aside from the hilariously obvious reasons Prowl stated. Optimus is his nemesis. B l u r r: Oh, to have the Tyran Prime as a nemesis... / would sparkly eye if he could / Starscream: Yeah but we don't have to be mutually nemesises B l u r r: To be crushed by that large pede and ran through with a sword... all that hate in his optics. B l u r r: / twitches claws and spreads them over his face/ Bevel: *so confused about this nemesis stuff* ItsyBitsySpyers: *There is a vaguely wistful tone to his thoughts.* _Whirl: You absolutely do. _Whirl: If your nemesis doesn't actually refer toi you as "nemesis" then it's just. A sad, pale imitation. Starscream: I hate Megatron more than anything else in the universe, he's scum _Whirl: ...*was about to say "me too" but has to live with the knowledge that he... actually DOES hate someone more than Megatron. Multiple someones* _Whirl: And, Blurr, you've just got a huge crush on him, that's different. B l u r r: ... Hhh, I suppose. B l u r r: It's great to have, though... Starscream: One day I'll have a chance tosnuff his spark _Whirl: *dryly* A nemesis, or a crush? B l u r r: ... oh. A crush. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Jazz deserved a more fitting termination. A stray shot from an unknown soldier - it should have been something glorious. A final race to stop a musical virus. A game of poisons. Anything but that.]] B l u r r: Your Jazz died from a shot? Poor thing... B l u r r: Ah... I do rather hate Jazz... Starscream: ((Star "killing Megatron i my kink" scream B l u r r: But, he's obnoxiously friendly to me Bevel: Most Jazzes are really friendly like that. _Whirl: *shrugs* FakeProwl: A nemesis MUST be mutual. A nemesis is a relationship. Bevel: *most, definitely only most* FakeProwl: Otherwise it's just unrequited spite. Starscream: Oh no, he hates me too Starscream: Just not as deep a loathing as mine B l u r r: This Jazz is more so, I think... FakeProwl: Not good enough. B l u r r: / looks at Bevel/ Some kind of holy relic or something. FakeProwl: If he doesn't see you as his nemesis, you're not nemeses. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Primus, their obnoxious insincere friendliness.]] A pause. [[And their magnet hands. On some.]] _Whirl: I mean, hate isn't gonna cut it. Starscream: Then I guess I'll just have to settle for not having a nemesis _Whirl: You can go through your life hating everyone. I did. _Whirl: Mostly. _Whirl: With a few exceptions, I still more or less DO. Bevel: Like a relic of the Thirteen? ItsyBitsySpyers: *And now he's suddenly suspicious. He glances around the room to assure himself his complaining isn't going to a surprise audience.* B l u r r: A relic of the what? No.. .he's that stupid cube thing B l u r r: Everytime he comes over, he pesters me. FakeProwl: *likes the magnet hands* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Prowl doesn't understand. He doesn't understand what Jazz has done with them.* _Whirl: Isn't that the guy that made Zori super-sized? B l u r r: Yeah... Starscream: ((I have to go ItsyBitsySpyers: [[At least you aren't -teaching- him.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: ((awww! byeeee! thank you for showing up )) Starscream: ((thanks for the stream _Whirl: ((be!)) _Whirl: ((....bye)) _Whirl: ((BE)) B l u r r: byeee!! ]] _Whirl: I don't think he likes that very much--can't you get him to change him back? B l u r r: ... Are you teaching him? _Whirl: I don't really talk to him anymore, but Professor Z seems down. B l u r r: Me? Get him to change Zori back? B l u r r: Jazz isn't going to listen to me... ItsyBitsySpyers: [[NO. No. Jazz is not adjusting Zori again.]] Bevel: Cube thing? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He is working on other solutions. Ones that are unlikely to end in \a microscopic minicon.]] B l u r r: / nods at Bevel/ He's some kind of... what is it? B l u r r: All Spark? _Whirl: *looks to Soundwave*  ...y'know that's probably not a bad idea. If he screwed up ONCE... ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Unfortunately.]] _Whirl: Well, if you need any ideas, I know a guy with a shrink ray. *shrugs* Bevel: Oh! I know what that is. B l u r r: you do? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[...You will tell him more about that later, of course.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh! Oh. And here he is talking about-- and Prowl is right--* Bevel: Yeah, it made Cybertronian life in some places. I saw one once on a job. These Autobots had pieces of it and it made things come to life. B l u r r: Well, now it's all put together inside some mech. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): ...Jazz amica status temporarily forgotten. Apologies. Bevel: Starscream was a zombie. I bet Jazz is a zombie to. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Primus forbid.]] B l u r r: He's a zombie? Huh... no, impossible. That would make him interesting. Bevel: *giggles* B l u r r: Even so... he's very much alive from what I see. _Whirl: Sure thing. _Whirl: And, yeah, Teach--Brainstorm. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «We spent four million years on opposite sides of a war. I'll forgive you badmouthing my amica if you forgive me occasionally cringing at references to assassinating senators.» _Whirl: In my home dimension I got shrunk down and fouight some scrapets in Big M's body. _Whirl: Left some quality graffiti in there, too. Bevel: Maybe it works different in his universe. All the things that are the same from one universe to another are not really the same most of the time. *it's really confusing* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He seems to consider this for a moment. Like, actually consider it. He's tapping his digits and everything.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *And a nod.* B l u r r: Things change, kid. /looking at Bevel/ it happens. If you want to learn more about him, talk to him. B l u r r: He only calls me when he's having one of those... vision things. B l u r r: Like I'm supposed to know what it means. _Whirl: All right, losers, time for me to head out. *streeetches one more time before carefuly extricating himself* _Whirl: Seeya. *salutes the room* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Aww. Ya gotta?// B l u r r: / waves at whirl/ See you sometime soon. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Anyway, it's nice to hear that he was a thorn in a high-ranking Decepticons' side. I'm sure he'd be pleased by your complaints.» Bevel: *waves to Whirl* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Well, Rumble will trot back over to the couch and squeeze in between Frenzy and Bevel* _Whirl: Yeah, I've got... *plants to tend to* Errands. Bevel: *still sure this Jazz is an allspark zombie but she'll nod at Blurr anyone* Bevel: *anyway* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Kay. Seeya later.// _Whirl: *he'll spare Rumble a nudge before he makes his exit, bobs his head to all one last time, and trots off* B l u r r: I'll tell you what, though. His universe is one hot mess. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): ...Confirm Prowl not sharing news. Bevel: More than the other ones? B l u r r: As is my own. Yet, while we lay low here on Earth, the Decepticons won't attack us... for now. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I won't tell him a word.» B l u r r: / flicks finials / Hn? Well, apparently his Autobots are dying off constantly. B l u r r: He keeps calling me in a panic. Bevel: *nudges Rumble carefully in greeting* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nudge back and a grin.* Bevel: Oh, are they still fighting? B l u r r: ... I don't know. I stay out of it. B l u r r: I have no more ties to his universe B l u r r: / grumbles/ I have ties to another one now. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ping ping. Prowl is getting a reward. And also a demonstration of why Soundwave hates Jazzes so very, very much. Would he like to accept the A/V file.* Bevel: Sometimes being tied to someplace is a good thing. FakeProwl: *? all right* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Prowl's gonna see Soundwave cautiously stick his hand through a crack in the door, have it magneted, and get yanked through while Jazz flips over him. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE.* B l u r r: ... In this case, I'm not sure yet. B l u r r: If being tied to it is good. B l u r r: [[ LOL I REMEMBER THAT SOUNDWAVE ]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Because Jazz was an unauthorized intruder, a bridge immediately opened, dragging him through it. Since Soundwave was magneted, he got yanked right back into Dancitron and fell through with Jazz--* ItsyBitsySpyers: *And they both ended up a fair distance away, completely locked out of a building now on shutdown.* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((YOU BETTER REMEMBER HE'S STILL SO MAD)) B l u r r: [[ BE MAD WERE ON CYBERTRONS RUINS ]] Bevel: Aw well, I hope you figure it out. *encouraging smile* FakeProwl: *... hmmm. Well.* FakeProwl: *this requires some serious contemplation. prowl puts his elbows on his knees and laces his hands together.* FakeProwl: *and presses them over his mouth.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Elbow nudge. He sees that.* B l u r r: ... /tilts helm/ Hmh. So, what's your plan, huh? B l u r r: / at bevel / FakeProwl: *he's shaking.* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Confirm THAT not shared either. ItsyBitsySpyers: *His dignity may be fluttering away in the wind, but at least Prowl is having a good moment for once. Shortage of those lately.* Bevel: *shrugs* Plans for what? FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I will absolutely not be sharing this.» FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... And the Constructicons better not be either.» FakeProwl: *good moment's over. What if that file got transferred to them during recharge? What if they decided they didn't care about Prowl's promise not to share it?* FakeProwl: *wilts slightly* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He sees this wilt.* B l u r r: / leans forward to look at Bevel/ You want on the ship or not? ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Inform them if this, shared, Soundwave personally ensures guard deals never again accepted. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Furthermore: existing Constructicon enjoyment items confiscated, shared among Autobot newbuilds. Bevel: Oh that! Um, well. *it would get her away from the horrible awkwardness of her home planet* would you mind someone else coming with me? FakeProwl: *small nod.* FakeProwl: *attaches that note to the file. If the A/V file gets transferred to them, the threat will go with it.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Small nudge.* FakeProwl: *questioning ping* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Own fault. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Wait, who's goin' with ya?// FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... What is?» B l u r r: ... Who's the someone else? B l u r r: / tilts helm and flicks finials/ Remember, joining my crew means I am your Captain. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Shared file. Constructicon tie known. Other data also given. Shrinking: unnecessary. Bevel: My amica and I am used to following orders. B l u r r: So who is this america? B l u r r: / he doesn't know these terms / B l u r r: / An amica endurae is an american endurance / ItsyBitsySpyers: [[..................America?]] ItsyBitsySpyers: *Yeah, he heard that.* FakeProwl: *shakes head. doesn't make a difference.* Bevel: *stares at Blurr for a second trying to think of how to answer this* FakeProwl: *he was still Reminded of them. and that he has no control over this connection.* B l u r r: ... Isn't that what it's called? B l u r r: That's what you said, right? Bevel: Amica. B l u r r: ...Ah. B l u r r: Well, who is that? Bevel: Like a really important friend. Some universes do not have them. B l u r r: We certainly don't Bevel: *this feels like such an understatment of the term but it's the best she can give* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Quiet vent. Light thumb rubbing on whatever plate it's resting against.* B l u r r: Anyway. Who are they? ItsyBitsySpyers: *He'll wait until Prowl feels like saying something about it or moving on. Whichever.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble and Frenzy chinhands and watch Bevel and Blurr. They wanna know too.* FakeProwl: *doesn't feel like saying anything now. just sorta slumps there.* Bevel: *sticks tongue out at the twins* Rolodex is a minicon from one of the Malgus universe. They are not a warrior or anything like that. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Well, then Soundwave will just stay there with him for now. Maybe have an idea to temporarily get him 'away' from his troubles for a bit, in a few minutes.* ItsyBitsySpyers: //Which one's Malgus?// Bevel: The one with the zombie Starscream. B l u r r: [[ Maglus is TFA, yes? ]] Bevel: [[Yes B l u r r: *Malgus ]] B l u r r: [[ My son is from Malgus. My other Blurr ]] Bevel: [[TFA Blurr <3 B l u r r: [[ yasss ]] B l u r r: A minicon, hn? And what use will they do for the crew? Or you, for that matter? B l u r r: If you're part of the crew, you're part of the ship. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Hey! Don't you go stickin' her in no walls!// Bevel: *armor bristles slightly*Rolodex has been my friend since I first got lost. They are really smart and nice and help keep all our mercenary data neat and make sure we don't mess anything up B l u r r: So, they can keep data organized? Bevel: Huh-uh! They were a data keeper at a big prison on their Cybertron. B l u r r: Hmmm...we could use someone with those skills. Skychaser is moving to full time pilot. B l u r r: And you? B l u r r: / looks at the twins/ And I won't be putting anyone in a wall. ItsyBitsySpyers: //Good.// Squint. Bevel: I fight mostly. B l u r r: Do you need a reason to? B l u r r: You see, being a pirate is all about going against the grain. I don't want you to join and then you decide not to participate in any raids or pillaging events. Bevel: I do not hurt civilians. B l u r r: /scoffs/ then what kind of pirate are you expecting to be? Bevel: The kind that helps you take out bots like Thundertron. B l u r r: /smirks/ Now now, I didn't need a lot of help with that. /points to Frenzy/ Just his help. B l u r r: /lifts digit/ However... this may work to our advantage. Mechs like Thundertron need to be stopped. Bevel: *nods* ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): This, not ideal overheard talk. If company still needed-wanted, Prowl avatar permitted longer stay within apartment. Speech, quiet not minded. Bevel: *she can't deny Frenzy's awesomeness during that fight* B l u r r: Hmmnh... /leans forrward and looks over Bevel/ I don't think I ever got a proper introduction. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Frenzy puffs a bit.* Bevel: My name is Bevel. B l u r r: ... Blurr. /shifts and holds out a claw/ Captain of the Emperor. /Your/ Captain, if you choose to be on my ship. B l u r r: That means you do what I say, when I say it. Any signs of mutiny.. .well... you don't want to know what kind of appetite I have. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «... I may as well go home.» *he's got nothing to offer Soundwave right now.* Bevel: Ew. *takes the offered claw* Does that mean I get stuck on this Earth now? B l u r r: It means you're stuck with me until we can leave. It won't be long now. I think I've managed to gain the sympathy of the mech who took me. B l u r r: I'm quite the actor. /smirks and lifts a digit to his scarred derma/ Don't tell anyone, though. Bevel: *giggles* So am I. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Prowl certain? Home comfort not expected in present moment... this, time away assistance. Return not required. Peace, quiet. Soundwave's time spent repairing datapads. Bevel: I have to get Rolodex and our stuff if we have to live on the ship. ItsyBitsySpyers: *In other words, Prowl doesn't have to entertain him if he just wants to leave his mind somewhere that isn't the prison apartment for a while.* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «The Constructicons aren't home at night. I can get peace and quiet as easily there as anywhere else.» ItsyBitsySpyers: *Somehow he doubts the 'peace' part of that.* FakeProwl: *which was to say, not easily at all. but that wasn't the fault of the location. even in holoform, he could feel the itch of his sanded off decals.* B l u r r: Good. Then get your supplies and that mech B l u r r: And come back here. /looking Bevel over/ And bring any supplies you have ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): ...If mind changed, alert. Simple plan adjustment. Not difficulty if own home preferred; potential Constructicon theft warning recorded. Security presence not unexpected. Bevel: Ok! *Blurr better hope he's up for the sheer amount of supplies and stuff Bevel is bringing back* B l u r r: / he wants all the things / B l u r r: ... Welcome to The Emperor... Bevel. /twitches claws/ ItsyBitsySpyers: *He knows he's made this offer at least once a week now, but he's not entirely sure what else to do. There's no mental clues to go off of, and Prowl can be closed-off even when he's NOT upset.* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «No. No—don't come over.» Bevel: Thanks, Blurr. Captain. *shrugs, look formal titles are not a thing with her merc group* B l u r r: Mm.../waves claw/ You'll learn in time ItsyBitsySpyers: *Tilts helm.* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «There's no need for that.» Bevel: @Soundwave: Can you help me with a space bridge later please? ItsyBitsySpyers: @Bevel: [[Yes.]] Bevel: @Soundwave: Thank you. :) ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): ...In personal experience, direction loss: more painful alone. However, if that: Prowl's wish, Soundwave... complies. ItsyBitsySpyers: *A twist to face Bevel and a nod.* FakeProwl: *flinches* FakeProwl: *he hates that he can't keep anything to himself. Everything's already obvious, isn't it? he used to be able to keep secrets.* FakeProwl: @Soundwave «"Alone" isn't even an option for me.» ItsyBitsySpyers: *Prowl shouldnt dig at himself so hard. It's hard to have them around Soundwave.* B l u r r: / vents and leans over on his couch to look everyone else over. Well, he's comfortable here. Lays out on couch / B l u r r: You'll learn to like living here. My ship isn't so bad, you know. /to Bevel / ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Apology. Corrected term: "Unaccompanied." Implication Constructicon ties forgotten unintended. Bevel: Better than living on Cybertron. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Rumble mutters something that sounds like "ain't that the truth"* B l u r r: Kyeheheh, if you say so. You'll never go hungry FakeProwl: @Soundwave «Mm.» *the wording doesn't make much difference.* «... I dislike being fussed over.» Bevel: Good to know. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): ...Acknowledged. Glass treatment not meant. This - Soundwave not unfamiliar. After betrayal, new function not known. Carrier privacy also reduced. -- B l u r r: Mmhm. You see, we make stops all over the verses. I'm sure you'll get used to it. ItsyBitsySpyers: Intended offer purpose: support, understanding, assistance. Prowl capability still understood. However, desire: reduce unnecessary suffering, avoid unilateral decision. Bevel: I am used to travelling through the multiverse. B l u r r: Oh, good. Then you're used to foreign places. B l u r r: Now, there are guests that come and go on the ship that you should be aware of. ItsyBitsySpyers: (txt): That, only reason. Prowl decision: time unaccompanied wanted. That, respected. Goodnight bid. FakeProwl: @Soundwave «I shouldn't have said I turned down a job offer.» ItsyBitsySpyers: *Or not.* Bevel: Guests? B l u r r: Yes. B l u r r: For one, if you see a white mech with red markings, if he still looks the same, that's Drift. B l u r r: If he's on the ship and he tells you to do something, you're advised to listen to him. B l u r r: He's like my honorary first mate. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Data learned soon regardless. Small pieces already possessed. Starscream complaint suffering expected. Soundwave sees much. That, role. Cannot apologize. Respect, best counter. Bevel: Oh. Ok. ItsyBitsySpyers: *So he'll let go and bow his helm.* FakeProwl: *irritated sigh* @Soundwave «... Goodnight.» B l u r r: Big green and white mech with AMP across his chassis? That's Roadbuster. He's allowed on the ship any time. B l u r r: And if I say I have a guest and you are to remain in your sectors of the ship, listen to what I say. FakeProwl: *disappears* B l u r r: The trophy room is off limits. /counting on digits/ The room of intellect is open to mechs who wish to settle and work on their own source material for themselves. I'll explain B l u r r: the basics of our beliefs some other time. B l u r r: You're welcome to look at any frames on the wall, but don't knock them down Bevel: *nods and listens intently* B l u r r: Oberyn, you'll know him when you see him, is allowed to roam wherever he likes. If you don't want him in your room, make sure you lock the door. B l u r r: Menace, who I'm sure is on the ship somewhere, might be in the vents. Just be wary. Menace: *muffled* I'm in the closet today. B l u r r: ... He's in the closet, apparently. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Shakes his helm a little. Prowl can be mad at him if he wants. He's not going to be sorry that he figures things out--.* Bevel: Closet ok. Lock doors. *she should have written this down maybe* B l u r r: Menace is my audio and optic set. He's gotten rid of traitors before and I'm sure he's itching to do it again sometime. B l u r r: Either way, just remember that my ship can be very interesting to live on so long as you follow the rules. B l u r r: Oh, and you might want to tell me what you like to eat now. ItsyBitsySpyers: *And he's not going to be sorry that he told Prowl he was semi-familiar with the problem. It's true.* Bevel: Leave. I have friends off ship. My creator. I will need to visit them sometimes. And I only eat energon. Regular kind. Or high grade sometimes. Not anything made from humans. Bevel: The human stuff is gross. ItsyBitsySpyers: *He's just going to ping Bevel and Blurr simple goodbyes and make his way out. Like he said, he has datapads to repair.* B l u r r: Right, well, we don't eat humans here. But, the cannibar does serve energon from many mechs. /smirks/ so be careful what you order. Bevel: *pings back, will message later for that bridge* B l u r r: /waves to Soundwave / B l u r r: As for leave, I won't keep you from whatever a creator is, but you need to remember that you'll be a wanted mech, so whatever happens when you leave is on your helm. B l u r r: But we will come get you if there is an attack. We don't leave crew mates behind. Bevel: That is ok than. B l u r r: One more thing. I have alliances. Strong ones. Anything we do... any business between them remains between us. B l u r r: Nothing can be said outside of the crew unless I say so. Bevel: I can keep secrets. I am really good at it. B l u r r: Good. then we're all right. Now, I just need you to know that we mechs... don't believe in Primus. Mechs from my universe, anyway. B l u r r: You can pray to whatever bag of chips you want. Bevel: *snickers* B l u r r: But on this ship, with my mechs from my verse that I brought, they worship in a different way. You're allowed to talk to B l u r r: whatever you want. But, don't push it on others. Other than that, talk to those pringles. Bevel: *she is going to assume that means no one will be pushing pringles she doesn't want onto her as well and nod in agreement* B l u r r: / nods / See? I can be a good Captain. B l u r r: / flexes claws/ Sometimes. Better than Thundertron, eh? Bevel: A lot of bots are better than Thundertron but I think we can make this work. Bevel: *she stands* I will go get my things now and Rolodex and I will return as soon as we are able. It will not be very long. I will bring whatever supplies for the ship that I can. B l u r r: Right. Get a move on, then. Bevel: *nods and leaves*

[sweetsuccesssociety]

The Work Life Balance Myth

There is a lot of talk all over the place about something called “work-life balance”. There’s a lot of reading material on the subject, but honestly, it’s a little confusing. The traditional model of work/life that always kind of bugged me is this:

Find out what you’re good at

Choose a career where you can use those skills

Work hard, climb the ladder, make money

Use that money to do things you actually enjoy

Try to carve out time outside of work for the “important things”

UGH oh my gosh you guys this just KILLS me. It’s not that there is anything inherently wrong with any once piece of that. I do think you should use your skills, and I think being dedicated and working hard is important in a lot of ways (although I really don’t think hard work is the key to success, tbh, but we’ll save that for another day). It’s the huge separation between work and life that really bugs me. Should work and life really be that exclusive? Should it really be a struggle to balance work with your life?

Honestly, no. There’s no reason why your work shouldn’t be an integral and enjoyable part of your life, and visa versa. If you turn your passions, loves, and natural abilities into a career that involves doing what you love everyday, there usually isn’t as much to balance. Typically, when people follow their passions instead of following the money or the traditional career path, it feels pretty natural to look forward to working, to combine work and hobbies, and to include friends and family in your work. When work and life can start to become interconnected and mutually beneficial to each other, that’s when things really get good.

So how exactly is that feasible, though? I’m not going to lie – it definitely is a little bit of a balancing act at first, and it takes some trial and error to get it right. For me, I’ve found out that spending more time with my friends and husband away from my computer actually gives me more inspiration for articles, and I can usually produce a video or do an awesome interview when I travel to cover some of the expenses. I try to write when I’m feeling most creative and take care of marketing stuff first thing in the morning when I normally wouldn’t be doing anything else. I consider my work just another fun, exciting, and important part of my day to day life. Once I stopped looking at my work and life as separate, they started to just mush into one awesome thing that is just “life”, but life with getting to do work I love everyday. Sure, I still have to carve out specific time to manage some of the more difficult tasks like accounting and meetings, but overall the more I look at the balance as something easy and enjoyable the more it feels that way.

Obviously I know that I’m in a special situation since I work from home and make my own schedule, but that was an important thing I looked for when I chose my career – I knew it was highly important for me to have a lot of freedom and room to be creative. However, it is totally possible to get rid of the work/life balance idea in favor of integrating them both into a day to day life you really enjoy, in any career. Even if you work in a corporate office, if you’re doing somthing that you really love (or close to it) there is always a way to figure out how bits and pieces of your work life and regular life can start to complement each other and feel cohesive.

Sometimes, things just flat out can’t be balanced and you’ll need to swing further to one side. One of the most important things you can do to feel truly balanced is to cut yourself some slack when the scales are totally unbalanced. Over the past 10 days or so, I’ve barely posted a social message, I haven’t written any blog posts, and completely ignored my editorial calendar and email inbox. All I’ve been doing recently is “life” – spending time with my husband, going wine tasting with friends, seeing movies, enjoying rainy days. Even though I love what I do, sometimes I just need a mental break. On the flip side, there have been plenty of weeks where I have gone full speed ahead on a work project and didn’t see another human for like 5 days straight. That’s the balance though; it’s just about being okay with not being balanced a lot of the time, and letting work and life turn into things that go together like PB&J, not like two separate things.

How do you define work/life balance? I want to hear from you!

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