#and tbh I wanna see it again so badly already

[thatsouthernstate]

February 10, 2023

I been gone so long, I don't know where I'm going

You be on my phone, talkin' 'bout what's my problem?

Had to go alone to get it how I wanted

Had to be alone to figure out how I should be loved

And if it's just us, is that enough?

Is it bad that I want more?

Is it too late for us?

We both dangerous

Movin' so close, we combust

Is it bad that I want more?

Is it too late for us?

We both scared of love

Movin' so close, we combust

Is it bad that I want more?

See, bust it like a toolie in your waistband

Bust it like that booty too big and you need two hands

Bust it like you catchin' a body and you in G stance

Bust it like it's casual Friday and you herе to dance

Call bluff, I know what's up

Can't get enough

Is it bad that I want morе?

Is it too late for us?

We both dangerous

Movin' so close, we combust

Is it bad that I want more?

Is it too late for us?

We both scared of love

Movin' so close, we combust

Is it bad that I want more?

Mmm, pressure, I won't learn my lesson

I want you to stretch it

Limit, want you to test it

I know I was born to roll

I gotta know

Is it bad that I want more?

Is it too late for us?

We both dangerous

Movin' so close, we combust

Is it bad that I want more?

Is it too late for us?

We both scared of love

Movin' so close, we combust

Is it bad that I want more?

So done with you

Nobody hurt me like you do

Every time you break my heart, it feel new

Every time I fall apart, I call you

I just wanna be loved

And loving you sucks

I can't get enough

Is it bad that I want more?

Is it too late for us?

[msmk11]

Heyyy, I just saw that you were taking requests for Tangerine x Readers, and I was wondering if you could write something like Tangerine and reader being fwb before the whole bullet train thingy, and she catches feelings but he's super distant (bro has serious attachment issues) so he pushes her away and is a bitchy manchild about it (LOTS AND LOTS OF ANGST but it has a fluffy ending) (smutty too if ur comfortable with it) ofc u can ignore this request if u don't want to, and I'd write it myself but I have zero motivation rn and I js wanna cry and then giggle😭🫶

And I Have To Live With It, For the Rest of My Life

Tangerine x fem!reader

WC: 3.4k

CW: HEAVY ANGST; slut shaming; booze/being drunk; fighting; cursing; lack of aftercare; mentions of sex; Tangerine is a HUGE asshole. Tiny fluff ending.

A/n: Hi love! Thanks for requesting! Sorry this took so long I just needed to find inspo. I’m also sorry for the lack of smut (and fluff tbh,) I just don’t take smut requests. As for fluff, I did want a “happy ending” but it felt cheap to try and go from ANGST to “everything is perfect again” in such few words. Maybe I’m just traumatized, but I have a hard time forgiving quickly lol and I think that shows here.

Everything was really, really good.

So of course you had to go and ruin it.

People say you can’t control matters of the heart and you think that it’s a load of bullcrap. Why not? Why couldn’t you have control over your heart?

And why did you have to catch feelings for Tangerine?

It isn’t part of the deal. Tangerine is a business partner. An acquaintance. A friend. A friend you occasionally fuck.

Your relationship with Tangerine was always supposed to be casual. No strings attached- business was simply business and fucking simply fucking. But then your heart got involved.

What’s one supposed to do?

Certainly not keep going back to the captor of one’s heart.

So of course that’s exactly what you do.

You’re laying in your hotel bed, completely naked, covers pooled around your waist. You and Tangerine just finished having sex and he’s already up and moving about, throwing on his clothes that had been discarded on the floor somewhere in your flurry of lust. Instead of saying anything, you just watch him in all his glory. You admire his tousled post-sex hair, curls askew, the way his back muscles ripple as he bends down to sweep his shirt up off the ground, and the way his fingers deftly button up his shirt.

“Got a meeting to head off to?” You ask casually.

Translation: Please don’t run off so soon if you don’t have to. Stay.

Tangerine’s eyes flit to yours briefly before he bends down to tie his shoes, “something like that.”

“Mhmm.”

You pull the covers up to your neck, suddenly feeling very vulnerable so bare and exposed to Tangerine who’s nearly fully dressed.

“You got a comb?” the brunette asks you gruffly as he straightens his suit jacket.

You nod towards the bathroom, “yeah, in there.”

He gives you no reply, only walking into the bathroom and shutting the door with a resounding thud.

Your stomach clenches painfully and your heart aches. The indifference with which Tangerine treats you hurts so badly. You’d rather him hate you then act like this. At least you’d know that he felt something, anything.

Is it too early for a drink?

The bathroom door opens again and Tangerine walks out, looking as though nothing ever happened. To him, nothing probably has. Nothing of consequence, at least.

“Well, I’m heading out. See you for our debrief tonight at nine.”

Tangerine begins to walk towards the door.

“Wait!” you call out.

You stop him just in time, his hand frozen on the handle. You swear he visibly tenses at your words, “what?”

“Could- could you at least get me a towel? Please?”

He doesn’t even look at you before nodding, “Yeah.”

He disappears into the bathroom for a moment before reappearing with a towel in hand. Tangerine, it seems, doesn’t even have the decency to walk the towel over to you. Instead, he tosses it across the room, almost hitting you in the face.

“Thanks.”

Shame pools in your stomach and you keep your gaze on the towel in your hands.

Tangerine grumbles a reply and then makes for the door so quickly that there’s no chance for you to say anything more.

Your heart sinks at the possibility that Tangerine might know you have feelings for him.

*****

You’ve already found a secluded spot in the hotel lounge and have a drink in hand when the twins appear downstairs. They take a seat across from you wordlessly and Tangerine lifts his hand in the air gracefully, motioning for a cocktail waitress to come take his order. Lemon and him order their drinks, and you ask for a second. It bothers you severely when you catch Tangerine winking at the waitress out of the corner of your eye.

You down the rest of your drink in one gulp and ignore how it burns your throat.

“Right, so the job’s done. When are we getting out of here?” Lemon asks tiredly.

“We,” Tangerine says, pointing between him and his brother, “are out of here first thing in the morning, “I’ve booked our tickets for a 5 am flight.”

“And her?” Lemon responds, pointing to you.

Tangerine barely glances at you, but you can see his jaw tense, “the job’s done. Figured she’s a fucking big girl who can handle getting herself home. Isn’t that right, love?”

Condescension drips from Tangerine’s words and it makes your stomach drop. You refrain from saying what you really want to and instead assume a relaxed persona, “mhmm, always right you are. I arranged for my travel last night.”

You, luckily, weren’t lying, though you had ordered a car big enough for three. More room for you, you guess.

The waitress comes back with your drinks and you eagerly take yours. When she asks if you need anything else, you can tell that she’s really only talking to Tangerine. Still, you tell her yes, asking for a third drink.

Lemon eyes you, “you haven’t even touched your second drink and now you’re ordering a third?”

You shrug your shoulders nonchalantly and lean back in your chair, “I’ve got the money to spend on it now that we each just made what, nearly 12,000 pounds?”

Lemon smirks in celebration and holds out his drink to you, “cheers.”

You clink glasses but Tangerine doesn’t join in, a perpetual frown gracing his face.

“Ya really wanna get fucking sloshed before ya travel tomorrow?” the brunette suddenly chimes in- rather judgmentally, you might add.

“Who said anything about sloshed, Tangerine? I can hold more than you think.”

While your answer is confident, even combative, on the inside, your heart leaps into your throat and pounds desperately. You think you might explode.

“Still, ya certainly don’t have any self-control. Not over ya drinks, your mouth, and most importantly….” Tangerine’s eyes narrow at you, “not over ya emotions.”

Your heart sinks in your chest.

So Tangerine did know about your feelings. Worse? He’s being a right fucking prick about it too. There’s no emotional sensitivity, no respect for privacy, nothing. Serves you right for fucking a cold-blooded assassin.

Unfortunately for you, tears spring to your eyes despite the fury boiling in your stomach, “you wanna talk about control, Tangerine? Let’s talk about how you have so little control over your own feelings that you lash out at others and make them feel like shit, even your own brother, so that you feel better. Let’s talk about how you can’t keep your dick in your pants because you’d rather fuck anything that looks at you than deal with anything real. Let’s talk about how what’s happened between us has made you feel so out of control that you’re willing to go low enough to hash this out in fucking public. You’re a walking disaster, Tangerine, and I feel right fucking sorry for you, I really do.”

You stand up harshly and purposely knock his drink onto his expensive suit. You start to walk away and then turn back, batting your eyelashes innocently, “oh wait, should I get you a fucking towel to clean up? Or would you rather beg me for it?”

You don’t wait for a response and grab a dry towel off a random cleaning rack, throwing it right in his fucking face.

*****

Tangerine glares after you as you storm off.

“What the bloody fuck was that all about?” Lemon protests.

Tangerine ignores Lemon and instead curses loudly before chasing after you. He could not let you have the last fucking word. He catches you right in time, hand stopping the doors of the elevator you’re in.

You look up at him startled, and your shocked expression is quickly replaced with an angry one.

“What the fuck, Tangerine? Get out of here!”

“Ya don’t get to fucking talk to me like that and spill my drink all over me and then just walk away.”

“Why not,” you scoff, “you ran away as soon as you were done using me to jack off. It only seems fair.”

The elevator doors slide shut and the car begins to move upwards slowly.

“Yeah, well that’s usually what happens when ya casually fuck someone. But I don’t think ya have a casual bone in your body- always stomping around being a dramatic attention-whore.”

Tangerine watches your eyes narrow and jaw harden, “there’s a difference between being causal and being a huge dick, Tangerine. I should’ve known you’d be the latter.”

“And I should’ve known not to mess around with a fucking slut like you.”

Your eyes widen in shock and even Tangerine knows that he’s taken things a little too far. While your effort to fight back your tears is valiant, it’s fruitless, and they begin to stream down your face.

“Fuck you, Tangerine. You know, I never expected you to return my feelings, and I’m sorry I crossed a line by falling for you. Swear to fucking god I wish I didn’t. But you- you’ve just crossed an unforgivable line, and I never want to see you again. Have a fucking nice life.”

The elevator doors slide open and you scurry out. This time, Tangerine doesn’t follow you.

*****

After everything that happened with Tangerine on your last mission, you decided to take an indefinite hiatus from work and just focus on yourself.

One of your goals? Fuck your feelings for Tangerine out of you. So of course, you’d been spending a lot of nights out at the bars, seducing all the eligible bachelors of the city into your bed.

You hope that it’s working.

Tonight is no different from the rest- you dressed up in one of your sexy outfits sitting at the bar of some new local pub. You’ve already eyed a muscular blonde about your age from across the bar and motion for him to come over.

He complies and makes his way to you, a cocky smirk on his face.

“Hey gorgeous,” you tease, looking him up and down.

The man takes a seat next to you, “Hullo, love. What’s a pretty girl like you doing sitting at the bar all by herself?”

You shrug nonchalantly, “looking for a handsome man. Like you, I suppose.”

He cocks his eyebrow at you, “you suppose?”

“Always hard to tell in this type of lighting.”

The blonde bites his lip and eyes you, “I can promise you I’m handsome.”

“We’ll see.”

“I’m Matt,” he says, extending his hand.

You respond with your name and grasp his hand. You’re expecting a handshake, but instead he brings your knuckles to his lips and kisses them softly.

“Pleasure to meet you.”

Damn this man is smooth.

“Really, the pleasure is all mine, Matt,” you respond, trying not to appear too flustered.

“Can I get you a drink?”

“Yeah, sure. Surprise me though.”

Matt orders the two of you drinks and you take the time to ogle him. He’s perfect.

But not as per-

Nope.

No, you don’t have time to think about him.

Matt hands you the mysterious concoction and you eye him, “what is it?”

“Just drink,” he nods, “promise it’s good.”

You take a small sip and it’s sweet. It’s yummy, and you take another, larger sip.

“Oh shit, this is good.”

“Told you.”

“Can I know what it is now?”

“No way. Need to hold this above you so you keep coming back to me to ask for another.”

You chuckle and look down, “okay Mr. Smooth-Talker. That was pretty good.”

“I can do a lot more than that,” he says seductively. His hand slides out casually and finds a home on your thigh.

You inhale sharply in pleasant surprise and lean towards him, “oh really?”

Matt leans in towards you too, “yeah, like-“

Just as you’re about to kiss him you hear a loud shout.

“Hey, get your hands off her!”

You startle at the sound and turn to see who could possibly be yelling like a maniac inside this bar. You’re also curious to know who’s the one getting yelled at.

Your stomach drops when you realize that you’re the target. And the yeller?

Tangerine.

“Oh my fucking God,” you curse, resting your forehead in your hands.

Tangerine comes stalking towards you.

“Uh, who the fuck is that?” Matt asks warily.

“My ex….fuck-buddy? Friend-with-benefits? I don’t know, it was complicated. But a piece of shit- that’s what he is.”

“What the fuck are you doing, mate?” Tangerine yells at Matt when he approaches you two. His words slur together and you can tell he’s really, really drunk.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Matt says gruffly.

“I’m not the one getting handsy with someone else’s girl,” the brunette snarls.

You scoff loudly, “Your girl? That’s rich Tangerine. Last I recall I was just a slut you fucked.”

Tangerine’s expression softens just the slightest and you almost think you clock regret in his eyes.

“Look, mate, you’re drunk. So get your ass out of here before I hand it to you,” Matt threatens.

Tangerine is sent back into his rage and steps toward Matt menacingly, “you little fucking,”

“Okay,” you shout, stepping in between them and putting a hand on each of their chests, “that’s enough.”

“Tangerine, go. home,” you growl.

“Yeah fucking right I-“

“Just let me take him,” Matt interrupts.

You scan his tense body, “Look, I appreciate it, but you’re not gonna win. Tangerine here is, well, trained. And I don’t want anything to happen to your pretty face. I’ll take care of him.”

“But he’s definitely stronger than you,” Matt protests.

You side eye Tangerine, “he won’t hurt me.”

The blonde’s eyes narrow.

“Physically, at least.”

Matt finally sighs and steps back, “I’ll be waiting here for you.”

You send him a half smile and then turn to the brunette with a glare, “Let’s. Go.”

Then, you literally grab him by the ear and drag him outside the bar. Tangerine lets out a string of curses and tries to fight back a little before he finally gives up.

When you get outside you let go of his ear and shove him, “What the fuck was that, Tangerine?”

“I was trying to protect you from that git,” he slurs.

“Tangerine, you’re the git. You’re the one that hurt me. It’s you I need protection from.”

Tangerine’s tough guy facade crumbles right before your eyes into one of remorse. He suddenly looks years beyond his age and crumples down onto the sidewalk, back pressed to the wall.

You look down at him with disgust. His hair is all over the place, his clothes are a complete mess, and he reeks of booze.

“I’m calling Lemon.”

With shaky hands you dial his number.

He picks up rather quickly and you can hear the confusion in his voice when he answers, “uh, hello?”

“Lemon, come get your fucking brother.”

*****

Although Matt was everything you could’ve hoped for, your night was ruined after Tangerine left. Luckily, Matt was understanding, and you’d exchanged numbers to meet up another day.

When you’d gotten home from the bar, you’d broken down completely. All of the anger, betrayal, frustration and sadness that had been pent up within you for weeks burst forth like a raging storm. You’d sobbed and screamed and even pitched a picture frame of you, Tangerine, and Lemon across the room, shattering it. The broken glass was a problem for later-you, and you’d ended up falling asleep on your couch, still in your bar clothes.

Loud bangs are what startle you awake hours later, and you curse as you flail off the couch. You hit the floor with a thud and groan. Now, not only is your head pounding, but your back will be all beat up too.

The pounding on your door continues and you curse whoever is making a ruckus this early.

You yank the door open, “what the fuck do you want?”

The last person you expect to see is on the other side.

Tangerine.

“Fuck off,” you spit before swinging the door shut resoundly.

Except the door doesn’t close because Tangerine’s foot catches it.

“Fuck me,” he groans in pain.

The brunette shoves the door back open and you smirk, “that’s what you get for being in places you don’t belong. Now get the hell out of my apartment.”

“Wait, wait. Please, just give me a chance to talk to ya. And then, if ya want, you never have to fucking see my face again.”

You don’t reward him with a response and instead just walk away, sighing.

Tangerine takes this as an invitation and walks inside your apartment, letting the door shut gently behind him. You beeline straight to where you left off on the couch, paying him no mind.

The idiot must not be paying attention because you hear the crackle of glass beneath his shoes and a quiet curse.

Tangerine goes silent and you stiffen, listening closely. You hear the pings of shattered glass being sifted through and then his footsteps as he nears your spot on the couch.

“I forgot about this picture,” he rasps.

“Well you can fucking have it. I don’t want it anymore.”

“Can I- can I sit?”

You briefly glance over at Tangerine and look him up and down. You don’t respond, only nodding.

Though he, like you, is still in his clothes from last night, he looks ten times worse. The purple bags under his eyes are heavy and dark, his hair and mustache aren’t groomed, his button up is missing a few buttons, and his shoes are untied. Maybe it’s bad to say, but you revel in how miserable and pathetic he looks.

“You look fucking awful,” you remark, venom heavy in your tone.

“And ya look like you’ve been crying.”

“Well no shit, Tangerine. Sort of happens when someone you thought was your friend turns out to be a big fucking prick. “

He looks down at his feet and shuffles awkwardly, “I know. I’ve uh, that’s why I came here to talk to ya. To apologize.”

You scoff and look at him with disbelief, “okay now you want to apologize? Only when you’ve fucking hit rock bottom you wanna mend things?”

“Love, no I, I’ve been wanting to since that night in the fucking elevator I-“

“Don’t call me that,” you whisper angrily, lip wobbling in spite of yourself.

“I’m not your love, I’m not your friend, I’m not your anything anymore. We’re done Tangerine, this is over.”

It’s then that the boy you’ve known for almost five years does something you never would have imagined.

He grovels.

He literally gets on his knees before you and grabs your hands tightly, looking up at you with pleading eyes.

“Just listen to me for a second. Please. I want ya to know how fucking sorry I am. Not just for last night, but for everything. I’m sorry I called ya a slut. I’m sorry I was rude, and distant, and an asshole. I’m sorry for fucking you like some piece of meat and then just leaving you behind with no aftercare, no attention, nothing. I’m sorry for being a terrible friend and I’m sorry for not telling you that I love you sooner.”

Tears shine in Tangerine’s blue eyes and he chokes on his next words, “Christ, I love ya so fucking much. And I know I’ve gone and fucked things up now, and that it’s too late. And I have to accept every day for the rest of my life that it’s my fault. I have to live with that. And I will, even though it could kill me. But I don’t know what I would’ve done if I couldn’t tell ya at least once.”

Tangerine’s forehead falls to your knees and his body begins to shake in quiet sobs.

He inhales sharply through his nose, trying to hold back more tears, and looks up at you so sadly. “You’re the best girl out there, and you deserve the best. You deserve to find that with someone. Someone who isn’t me.”

Tears of your own begin to drip from your face and your heart throbs in your chest.

You reach out and cup Tangerine’s jaw so gently it’s as if he could crumble under your fingertips at any second.

“Tangerine,” you whisper.

You search his eyes for any sign of insincerity, of some sign that he’s going to break your heart again. But all you see is true, genuine adoration and vulnerability. Consciously or not, your heart returns to the hands of the one who holds and you pull him in, kissing him softly.

The kiss is sloppy, and salty and wet, but you don’t care, because every peck and sigh and bite is punctuated by what you both know- I love you. I love you. I love you.

[secretninjadonut]

| Fangirl | Huh Yunjin

G!p Huh Yunjin x 6th member le sserafim fem Reader

❗️Smut❗️

You and the members were just hanging out waiting for Kkura to finish making food and Chaewon going to help her (literally being swatted away but we move 😭) and everyone was so relaxed on their phones lying on the sofa until they suddenly heard you squeal and stuff your face into a pillow on the sofa while literally screaming into it and throwing your phone on the floor.

Kazuha was so confused and just asked “Y/N-nnie are you ok?” meanwhile you kept on screaming and only the red tips of your ears visible. Eunchae quite literally sighs and says to Kazuha “You forgot how gay Y/N Unnie is right?” while Kazuha nods in realisation going back to her phone you were still flustered and just went even more red if it was even possible when you heard Yunjin speak asking “what was she even watching?” reaching for your phone. You panicked so badly because you got flustered at A EDIT of HUH YUNJIN (relatable tbh).

She picks up your phone and smirked at the sight of an edit of her on a fan page which embarrassingly you FOLLOWED on TikTok having seen you already favourite it and like it immediately while she says in a teasing tone “Y/N/N seems like you have good taste in what to watch hm?” and you just stuff your face more into the pillow in embarrassment and shame. Eunchae just groans and asks “is she watching more edits of you again” while Yunjin just nods and smirks even more but thankfully Chaewon came in and said that the foods ready.

At the table you all started eating and you’ve calmed down but your sitting next to Yunjin and she’s a BIG tease so she puts her hand on your upper thigh rubbing up and down while you had a pink tint on your face. Chaewon looked up from her food and asked “Y/N/N are you ok? You look a bit sick” you just nod scared your voice would crack while speaking so she just nods eating again. Yunjin teased you so badly so this time she wrapped one arm around your waist while still just eating you just blushed harder and looked down at your plate avoiding eye contact with anyone until Sakura asked “Y/N/N why aren’t you eating is it not good?” and you responded “n-no it is good b-but I feel a bit sick” while Chaewon stares at you and says “you should have said earlier go upstairs and we’ll get you some medicine soon”.

You walk up the stairs and run up to your room when you’re out of sight of the fimmies. You just laid down thinking about what happened blushing so hard and basically just fantising about her in her head rolling onto your stomach planting your face in and when you hear the door click open you look up at the door seeing Yunjin walk in you groan and turn back. She smirks and asks “What happened baby you don’t wanna see me?” with a pout you just stuff your face deeper into your pillows while she comes next to your bed and sits down grabbing your waist pulling you on her lap finally seeing your red flushed face just smirking and giving her more of an ego while she says “they sent me to take care of you, darling while they go out to the shop to get some medicine” you just nod and hide in the crook of her neck.

She says “Baby you act like we’re not dating you get flustered so easily” and you respond with “we are dating but we haven’t been for long and also your such a tease” while you feel her turn you facing her on her lap and you wrap your legs around her waist while she says “let’s have some fun while they’re gone hm?” you just nod when she connects your lips together and you taste her cherry chapstick humming while she rubs the sides of your waist comfortingly smiling into the kiss. When you break away for air she starts kissing down your jaw and neck while you whimper softly and moan quietly when she leaves a purple hickey at your pulse point and she just keeps on marking your skin stopping when you say “please can you hurry up” she smirks and asks “with what baby?” while you huff and say “hurry up and undress me already” and you feel wetness grow in your panties when you can feel her getting hard underneath you and she just picks you up and makes you stand infront of her saying “strip baby show me how pretty you are hm?” and you comply undressing giving her a bit of a show while she says “remove your bra too” only leaving you in your panties and you see her begin to undress as well while you get even more wet seeing her pre-cum leaked spot on her boxers and her hard dick poking on the front of the boxers.

She lays you down on the bed and starts leaving marks around your cleavage and not actually touching your now hardened nipples while you say with a huff “can you pay some attention to these please?” directing to your nipples while she smirks and says “ok baby you want it that badly hm?” and you just nod while she says “ok then darling I’ll give you what you want” going down and taking one nipple in her mouth sucking and licking while you moan quite loudly while she pinches your other nipple with her hand switching from sucking to pinching the left and right over time while you just moan feeling yourself grow extremely wet at the teasing saying “can you please just fuck me already nngh~” and she stops sucking asking “what’s the magic word baby?” and you respond with “please mommy” Yunjin just nods and goes down to your pussy pulling off your panties seeing a stand of wetness on them from your pussy simply just smirking and saying “oh my baby is so wet I don’t even need lube hm?” and you whimper while saying “please please I need you mommy” and moan when you feel her dive into you and start licking your clit making you squirm feeling the friction against your clit moaning loudly while she puts in two of her fingers in your hole keeping her mouth licking and sucking on your clit adding another finger into your pussy pushing deeper into you hitting that spongey spot that made you see stars moaning so loudly tangling your hands in her orange hair while practically chanting “c-cum I’m close nngh~” and when she feels your legs stiffen she pulls away completely and you simply groan and ask “what was that for Jen I was going to-“ getting cut off by her dick being pushed inside you her pretty 11 inch dick which is thick with a pretty pink tip you moan so loudly your sure you’d get so many complaints later on but all that mattered right now was you and Yunjin she kisses you shut you up while also starting to move inside of you with her completely erect cock hitting spots she knows you like while kissing you to keep you quiet, when you break off for air you just moan when you feel one of her hands rub your clit while also pounding into you in the room you can hear clapping noises but not for a performance.

You feel her dick twitch slightly inside of you telling you that she’s close but you were so close as well moaning into her ear saying “I-I’m close mommy~” and basically screaming when she went to your nipples and sucked them having a hand on your clit one hand pinching the other nipple and her dick inside of you pounding hard you are screaming at this point begging her “don’t s-stop p-please” and you finish with a “I-I’m cumming” while feeling your eyes roll to the back of your head followed by a pornographic moan and soon after that you feel her warm load fill your insides painting your walls white and she says “you did so well baby should we go take a bath now? How does that sound darling?” you just say “can we cuddle for a bit I’m tired *yawn*” and she coo’s at you responding with “of course baby come here” big spooning you while you fall asleep but of course she woke you up later to bath.

A/N:This is for the poll long awaited results but Yunjin won with smut as well so thank you all for voting and also I take requests I know I say that a lot but I don’t have any ideas 😭😭😭.

[venusoracle]

pac: winter wishes from your future spouse

this winter, what message does your future spouse have for you? pick a card for a message and chanelled christmas song from your future spouse <3

take only what resonates, this is a general reading

reblogs and likes would be really appreciated! :) i would love to hear which one you picked!

PILE 1

♫₊˚.🎧 ✩�� come out and play - billie eilish

hi, my love. how are you? i wanted to let you know -  i wish you could see your full potential. your shyness is cute and i love that you’re introverted because we get along so well (and i actually keep imagining us going on dates and your cheeks being all flushed... so cute) but i wanna encourage you to be more confident sometimes. you are beautiful and strong and i love you. i understand that when you were younger, people were harsh to you when they spoke to you, but i want you to know that it’s okay to stand up for yourself. i’m proud of you and i’m proud of you for wanting to heal your inner child. i know it’s scary and it feels difficult to face your fears… but i promise that your life will change for the better. don’t be intimidated and don’t listen to other people, you’re stronger than you think. i love you, you’ve got this, hang in there, the cold will be over soon.

PILE 2

♫₊˚.🎧 ✩｡ santa tell me - ariana grande

hey darling!! you’ve been working so hard recently and been so focused, i really admire it. but baby, please don’t get too obsessive with academic / work validation - you are so much more than that, especially to me. i feel like you’re my soulmate and i know that it’s part of my destiny to meet you, do i sound cheesy? anyways, you inspire me to keep working on my goals and to be resilient when i want to give up. your kindness and loving heart already support me during tough times. i can’t wait to meet you, i’ve been waiting so long and i’m so excited to build a future together with you.

PILE 3

♫₊˚.🎧 ✩｡ love to keep me warm - laufey and dodie

oh baby, i’m sorry that people have betrayed you in the past. you don’t deserve that at all. you’ve been manifesting me and i’m glad that i’ve been helping you in a way… when we meet, i'm gonna feel complete because i know we’ll accept each other for who we are. have you been shutting yourself off from meeting people, love? i feel like you are for some reason :( i know it’s daunting to think that you might get treated badly again but you are a beautiful person who deserves to make meaningful connections. don’t hide away, you’ve got this. also this is hella random but you remind me of a princess :) do i sound creepy? possibly but whatever, don't forget to wear your scarf.

PILE 4

♫₊˚.🎧 ✩｡ christmas tree farm - taylor swift

i feel kinda shy tbh… hello, i hope you’re doing well. i’m normally not an emotional person but i’m learning how to communicate better recently. i want to change myself for the better cuz firstly, i wanna be successful and also cuz i’m probably gonna have to fight for you lol. anyways, i’m not giving up. take care and stay warm, don't get sick and i'll see you around.

[dotster001]

Q.P.R. Headcanons; First years

I never knew that I needed aro head cannons in my life but now I need like 42 more so I DEMAND *asking nicely* for more please - @bakdbfi

Summary: aro-ace first years x aro-ace gn! Reader. Things you guys get up to in a queerplatonic relationship.

A/N: hee hee I am once again on time for aro awareness week 😁

Dorm Leaders

Tbh, I've always wanted to go up to him and say, “Hey Ace, I'm ace!” But if you did this while you're in a QPR, he'd always come up with a snarky comment. Maybe say something like, "Nah, I'm Ace. Fuck off." Smh. He's so silly. I wanna throw rocks at him

He's the aro-ace that always forgets he's aro-ace. He'll come up to you like, “Guess who has a date!” Then he'll come see you afterwards, his eyes dead, and he'll be like, “So, I got distracted by how pretty they are. Oops.” He sees people as attractive, but when he tries to bridge the gap, he's always like, oh, yeah, nevermind. And then he complains to you about it, as though you were the one to set up the date!

He's always in your space. Being in a QPR with him is like gaining an extra cat. He's so affectionate, as long as you don't say anything. He'll scoot his chair so close to yours that your legs touch. If you're laying on the couch, he will climb over you and shove himself into your arms, in the most awkward, clumsy way possible. BUT IF YOU SAY ANYTHING…. he's gonna gaslight the hell out of you. He didn't want to touch you, get out of his space. Or, pay him if you wanna be in his space so badly.

Not only is he in your space, but he's stealing your food. What's yours is his, and what's his is his. He'll reach his fork over to your plate, and pick up your food. You'll wake up to a noise at three in the morning, and you'll see him raiding your fridge. If you ever become roommates, you'll catch him eating your labeled leftovers, zero shame on his face. What? True love is sharing food with your bestie!

Calls you his wife/husband/spouse when he introduces you. Then he can't fight off the shit eating grin on his face.

You know…honestly… if your mc isn't romantic with Ace, I'd say that in game they already kind of have a QPR. Calling it canon right now. He's just always slightly more close than a friend, but also not quite to romantic. 

If you read the first rendition of these HC's, he's a lot like Kalim. He just…doesn't get it. Ace tries to explain that the love he feels for his best friend (you) is different to romantic love and he just never gets it. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, Deuce wants to marry his best friend. He says he wants to marry you all the time. Let's get married and have kids but like in a friend way. His mom and you just smile and shake your heads.

Btw? Mama Spade? That's your mom now. The Spade household has a room set aside for you anytime you want to come over, but it always ends up in Deuce joining you for a cuddle sesh. Sometimes, he won't change rooms until you are half asleep, and he'll slowly open the door, and stand in the doorway. He just looks so sad, standing there in his jammies, holding his extra pillow, so you'd be a monster not to let him in.

Would you co parent some chickens with him? Please please please! He promises he'll do most of the work, he just needs an extra helper!

If you are separated, he will die. He doesn't make the rules. He wants you to be his partner on projects. He wants you to move in with him. And of course you gotta go into the same career after graduation. When people meet him, they just think he is the mopiest little guy. Then, when they see the two of you together, it's like he's a completely different person! Deuce has been asked twice now if he has a secret twin. (Deuce doesn't understand the question)

Greets you with cheek kisses. If you don't do it back, or don't pay enough attention the first time, he makes a very obnoxious kissing sound. He learned this technique from Meemaw. She taught him that the more embarrassing it is, the more likely you are to reciprocate the love he gives.

The boy grew up in a country area with a sweet old grandma. He's always going to be feeding you. It's very rare, when you two are alone, that he's not trying to put some food in your mouth, because “you're not eatin’ enough!” And he's aggressive about it! If you try to dodge the fork he brings to your mouth, he's gonna chase you, pin you down, kick your shins, whatever it takes to get you to eat. Plus, he put all of his love into that food! Why don't you want it?!

Meemaw wants you both to get married. And whenever she says something, Epel makes a loud gagging sound. Which of course prompts you to begin bickering with him about why he wouldn't want to marry you, which usually results in him saying something mean or bratty about how you are unmarriageable. Meemaw sighs happily, thinking she's got you on the right track, but nah. You two are having a fight about something neither of you even wanted.

Likes to tuck you into bed. It's a weird thing of his. For all of how aggressive most of his love is, right before bed, he is at his sweetest. He tells you it's bed time, and pulls back the covers. He gently tucks you in, and gives you a kiss on the forehead. Then he flops onto the bed next to you, completely wrecking the moment. But he sleeps hot, so he's not gonna join you under the covers.

This one is like having a big brother. He has scary dog privileges. Any haters/bullies/naySayers are going to have to be able to spread their hate with him standing behind you and glaring at them. And if they somehow are brave enough to do it, then they have to be brave enough to ignore his vicious growl.

In his birthday note to me, this year, he was like, “my gift for you is to make you buff.” This is your everyday life now. You will be buff. How else are you supposed to be safe when he's not there? (This logic is flawed. He is always there.)

Wants to have a family. But since neither of you are super into the traditional way of having a family, he would like it if you'd adopt and co raise a couple of kids with him. He knows the two of you together would make great parents. 

If you learned how to make pear compote, and then make it for him when he's having a bad day, he might almost figure out what romantic love feels like. Almost. His heart would just be so full, and so light, that he could almost mistake it for being in love with you. Almost.

He likes for you both to help each other out with cleanliness. You help him clean his ears and tail, and he helps brush your hair and teeth. It makes him feel loved when you help him groom. So he loves to return the favor. It really instills the familial feel he has around you.

Sebek’s a romance repulsed aro-ace. Anytime he thinks of anyone having ooey gooey feelings for another person, he dry heaves a little. In his words, “IF THEY HAD PURE DEVOTION FOR SOMEONE, THE WAY I AM DEVOTED TO MY LORD, THEY WOULD HAVE NO NEED FOR SUCH FOOLISHNESS.”

Never puts a label on what you two are. He invites you to move in with him after graduation to “remind him what happens if you forget to train and refuse to eat Lilia's healthy meals”. If you were a stranger, you'd be hurt. But you know it's an excuse. He really just likes having you around. It fills a hole in his heart.

His love language is “caring for your fragile human body”. If you slightly shiver, even if it's just a random reaction, he is scooping you up, wrapping you in a blanket burrito, and spoon feeding you soup. If you try to escape your blanket, he gently shushes you, caressing your cheek and whispering about how you need to hang on a little longer. He'll save you, don't go yet! (Similar things happen when you cut yourself, stub your toe, accidentally skip a meal…his dad and Silver may be human, but, no offense, he didn't care that much until it was about you.)

You're the equivalent of a comfort blanket. When Lilia sees Sebek having a bad day, he'll snatch you away from whatever you are doing, then place you in front of him. Sebek immediately gets distracted and starts cooing at you about how wonderful you are, and how other people should try to be like you. Every. Single. Time.

Trains you to sword fight. After you become special to him, he realizes that people may target you, in order to weaken him, and thus get a direct route to Lord Malleus. Delusional So he wants you to be able to protect yourself if he is out of reach.

He's big on setting his hand on top of your head, then messing up your hair aggressively. Then he lets out a booming laugh about how cute human reactions are.

Sometimes, he gets so happy when he sees you that he just…bites you. He'll come in for a hug, and the next thing you know, he's chomped down on your shoulder with a relaxed smile. Sometimes you'll be watching a movie together, and he'll unconsciously take your hand, and bring your forearm to his mouth so he can gently bite it. You're a fidget toy now. You'll have to get used to it.

[beatrixstonehill2]

Soooo this rich photographer flew me out to his waterfront penthouse overlooking the city..... You know, he did what photographers do and filmed me, took pics, got me nice and drunk. He showed me his place, mind you he's in a fancy suit and I'm in this bikini, my cock is basically falling out of it and I'm rock hard the whole time I'm there. He shows me this gorgeous portfolio of other trans girls he's worked with, mostly videos on his computer, and oh my god..... I started fondling my cock as he kept showing me some of the prettiest girls I've ever seen, huge breasts, curvy asses, perfect smile, juicy cocks.... But every video ended with a shirtless man. I didn't get it and he told me not to worry, so I kept playing with my cock, sipping my wine as he showed me more.....

The videos always ended the same. Some handsome guy flexing his muscles, looking really hot tbh, most of them had beards or well-groomed facial hair, none were shaven. They all exuded the kind of masculinity I find super hot, def the kind of guys I love my plump ass to be fucked by. The photographer finally turned to me and told me the men were all the very same people as the sexy girls he showed me. He had a really big kink for convincing trans girls to detrans. I was floored, but kept jerking my cock..... He saw this and smiled. He told me he'd happily pay me 100K to detransition. I jerked super fast and nutted, drooling like a good little whore, eyes rolling back......

"100K? You want to see me become a boy that badly???" I panted, jerking my flaccid cock as it drooled more cum, soon getting erect again.....

"Just look at you, already a machine. Imagine what that cock could do on testosterone. I'd love to see you give up becoming a girl for good. Embrace being a guy, which is what you really are, princess.

I bit my lip, my cock responding so well to his words, nice and full again. "Please..... I like being a girl but I mean.... You really really wanna see me detrans, I can tell!"

"I do. I want to see you get muscular, pumped full of so much T and steroids nobody would ever know you were living as such a pretty girl, or at least a decent imitation, not that you pass, darling. You're hot but that cock is a dead give away, and you still look like a boy, but you already knew that, didn't you?" He stroked my chin.

I nodded softly. "I don't pass at all, do I?"

"Not in the slightest, you poor misguided fakegirl. I'm surprised anyone even thinks to gender you correctly. It definitely doesn't help that you're so proud of your cock and flaunt it all over social media, walking around in dresses with a full erection. You can just see people roll their eyes forcing themselves to call you a girl to be nice. But like I said, your face is still very masculine, totally a dead give away. Are you sure you aren't already growing facial hair? I swear I see a shadow."

I was blushing so hard, fully erect and jerking super hard again. "I mean, estrogen only helps so much, I started transitioning at fourteen! But by then..... and sometimes I forget to take my hormones and, ummmmm...... soooo, this is how deep my voice actually is." I used my real voice, sounding pretty much like a guy.

"Wow, I mean you still sounded like a boy pretending to be a girl before but I had no idea you basically already went through male puberty..... that explains why your cock is so huge. You you're pretty much not even a trans girl, you're a femboy with implants?"

I nodded, cumming again, shooting rope after rope. "Mmmmm, maybe? Sorry I don't pass very well..... I hope you still find me sexy...."

"Oh, all the sexier, in fact I'm going to take that fat ass of yours for a nice ride in a moment..... just after I give you your first official T-shot, so let's celebrate you no longer pretending to be a girl. From now on you'll be a good boy and masculinize yourself as much as possible, OK?"

"Yes..... sir..... anything else before you have your way with me?"

"I want you to post a video of yourself to your Instagram, talking in your real voice, that you're detransitioning and getting your DD implants yanked out next week."

"OK..... whatever you like. ❤️ I need to give up playing pretend..... thank you for helping me!"

"It's my pleasure, helping boys like you is my greatest passion."

Needless to say..... I won't be looking back, and I have a few more fakegirl friends I think I'll send his way....

[rebuke-me]

my predictions for the romantic relationships in fantasy high junior year, mild spoilers for the first episode

kristen: trackerbees is doomed. they're long distance and cannot handle it. firmly believe that they're already broken up by episode one and kristen is in her "first lesbian break up" arc. i think she's gonna also have a hey mamas lesbian flirting experience that's going to be incredibly embarrassing for everyone involved. support her deeply for that tbh.

fig: her and ayda are doing well but maybe I'm manifesting this. they have to confront the fact that they care about each other but want to be individuals. they look at trackerbees and go maybe let's not do that.

gorgug: I'm partially through the seven which takes place during junior year for them I believe but I think. they'll be okay. i think zelda and gorgug are gonna be fine, I just wanna see more from them. don't care if its positive or negative I just wanna see them so badly.

fabian: had/has a messy fwb thing with aelwyn that turned out terribly and everyone hates. learning to not be so obsessed with his external appearance. so so badly wants to be flirted with and is not, in fact, flirted with. ecaf is very bad for him.

riz: wants so badly to NOT be flirted with and is, in fact, flirted with. he's hot now to people and he hates it. npcs keep flirting with him and he runs the other direction. they flirt with him in front of fabian and theyre both massively upset by it.

adaine: she has a moment of awkward flirting with an npc bc her friends encouraged her to shoot her shot bc she thought they were kind of cute. she hates it and decides never to do that again. lives vicariously through her friends relationships. (if she does get a romantic interest they've gotta be the coolest person ever for me to budge on my aroace coded adaine)

bonus ideas: ragh gets a boyfriend this season who does not fetishize him. jawbone/gorthalax/sandra lynn/garthy o'brien are in a weird polycule. hilariel and gilear get engaged. (i also want it to happen that the bad kids get the wedding invitation mid quest and have to rush back to the wedding).

[eolewyn1010]

Downton Abbey Fashion 2 - Edwardian outdoors fashion

Picking this back up again after... a year? Who cares; time is an illusion and so is the soundness of my mind. I wanna talk coats and walking dresses today, let's look at Downton Abbey's season 1!

To my amusement, Violet in the first season is almost exclusively seen in walking dresses and coats; they definitely dominate her fashion aside from the black evening dresses she wears for dinner during mourning. Mostly because the dower house isn't very prominently featured in the first season, so Violet is usually "coming over" rather than seen in her home. And she establishes the color palette that not only honors her name, but is thematically tied to all the Crawleys. Starting with that plum walking suit which I quite like; the embroidery on the jacket is so nice! And just, the color coordination in this outfit. Check out that plumage on the hat. I'm just not sure about the fur stola she has in the second picture. It may be the light, but this fur looks so blue?? It also hides the prettiest part of the jacket, hmph.

I'm not sure why, but I've come to think of this particular outfit as pretty iconic for the Dowager™, even though she doesn't wear it again after this season. The outfit looks a lot like one I've seen in a fashion plate from 1901, but we know Violet doesn't always keep up with times. The blouse underneath seems to be the same as she wore with the previous outfit, the walking suit itself is comparatively simple in its making; no more decoration that the black braiding, which is a wise choice as the fabric is doing all the work here. Where did they even get this? Where do I get this? How does Violet pull off such a waist cinch a good 50 years after these would have been all the rage? Will she ever not be the queen of magnificent headgear? Questions aplenty!

Granted, this one doesn't seem to be so much a walking dress as a house dress that she easily repurposes by adding the fur stola and a very nice hat with velvet roses. We do see her wearing it inside, but it does seem to suffice to take a walk over to the abbey. Simple one, but I like it quite well for a grey dress. Also note the brooch which she has worn with the previous outfit, too.

Another feathered hat, another blouse, but this time it's purple silk, and the white lace becomes the upper instead of the under layer, and thereby the center piece of this outfit. That is some glorious lace, but I'm also noticing these earrings. I'm pretty sure Mary has similar ones.

--------------

I wasn't sure if I should add in Isobel's outfits - she's not dressing to the nines in season 1 yet, as she hasn't settled in the nobility environment she's recently finding herself in. That not to say she dresses badly; I envy her this burgundy, velvet-lined coat (and she seems to like it enough to keep wearing in in season 2). But it doesn't try to be high fashion; it's simple and nice... and Isobel already knows to let her hats do the work for her outfit.

Similar color, but slightly different style; that flowery fabric chosen for collar and cuffs is just lovely, and it really pops before that background. And if I'm not mistaken, this one has pockets~ Also a very pretty belt with double buckle. Isobel may not be as obscenely rich as the Downton Abbey Crawleys, but she has style.

Not much to say about this coat tbh; it's kinda boring. But check out that elegant feathered hat; someone is very quickly taking fashion cues from Violet.

Comparing this coat directly with those that came before I'd say this is one that Isobel only bought recently - I'd hazard a guess this one is couture. The beautiful embroidery, the cream color where she stuck with dark, muted shades before. This one is supposed to Keep Up, and it does not disappoint!

--------------

If there's purple for the Dowager, there must be purple for Lady Grantham. I think Cora is introduced in this coat, and while it's not much to look at, I will grant that it looks cozy. And, of course, a plain coat with undecorated lapels makes for a nice background to a pretty Edwardian hat!

This coat is one of my favorite pieces in the entire run of the show. I can't believe that this one wasn't a keeper for later seasons. Look at all this wonderful chocolate-colored silk satin! Look how that minimal decoration of a few buttons and a couble chevrons in gold thread makes the lapels and cuffs pop! Thankfully, Cora pairs it with hats that, while chic, are in neutral colors so they still let the coat be a statement of itself.

A pretty walking suit, this one looks less grand and a little more girlish that the last. The hats balance that out; especially the richly decorated and color-coordinated first hat is definitely more ladylike than girlish. I'm wondering if Cora had it made to match this suit; the color goes so perfectly with the sheen of the silk. Also worth noting: Lovely lace collars.

This velvet walking suit... hm. I'm not sure how I feel about it. How about, "I wouldn't wear it, but it's definitely good-looking"? Something about this, despite it being the fashionable sihouette, feels dated. Maybe that's just how I feel about velvet, or it's the fluttery blouse cuffs working in tandem with the golden and bronze piping. Also, the hat with the big striped ribbon is giving off slight Rose-boarding-Titanic vibes.

Last but not least, this beauty in white. You know, these loosely-falling lapels that fold onto themselves are a recurring element in Downton Abbey costumes, but I'm actually not sure I've ever seen them on something I knew to be historically authentic. But who cares; she is beauty, she is grace, she lets this one go entirely undecorated so she can shine. I have a slightly softer spot for the second hat she combines this with, if only because it being tied to her chin with a scarf is an element of elegance we haven't seen on any outfit before.

--------------

Rosamund doesn't appear a lot in the first season, but I'd feel amiss not to mention her - look at her trying to step in her mother's shoes, hat-wise. Eh, this metaphor got lost in the wardrobe. It's a bit of a shame that the finish they used on this hat makes it look so plastic-y, but it's still the most eye-catching piece of this outfit; I think Rosamund chose a rather plain coat to go with this on purpose.

Oh, she's serving here. That black skirt looks like it might be a hobble skirt, but there's only so much I can be mad at an outfit that includes this gorgeously tailored coat. But again, it is fairly understated in colors and decoration. I think Rosamund just likes to show off her hat collection.

[cttrajan1206]

hi!! im here to ask about your ocs!!

first of all i would like to say PLEASE read the shadows house manga if you werent planning on it already...! youll get so much more that wasnt offered in the anime since it cuts off at season 2 , its just so good.. SO GOOD ok. ok

about astral and anjem!

i know you said you dont have all the details worked out so its ok if you dont have an answer to any of this atm!

could you talk a bit more about their dynamic/relationship, if you have anything else you wanna say?

what are their goals in the house? are they pursuing roles within relief team, starbearers, etc? are they wanting to get invited?

how good is astral at controlling his soot power? do you think its likely any of his experimenting on anjem could go wrong + how would he react, would he be able to fix it?

love ur ocs :}

WAAA HELLO?? i never original post ever so i was really surprised and excited when you reblogged it saying you'd read it later - AND NOW IN MY INBOX TOO? WAAAA.... >O<

But waa ok ok so! Funny enough, @tsukiomoon was over at my house and convinced me to read Shadow House (having watched the anime) while we were at a bookstore. I'd already glanced at it a few times over the years so I was. Very easy to convince tbh djdhfjf So I actually began with reading the first two volumes!! Then after that, I was thoroughly hooked so we proceeded to binge the entirety of it together in two days. That said, I'd love to read the manga. I'm debating on it because the official translation -> scanlation currency exchange is not in my favour ToT but I think I like it enough to bear through it, the anime missed a few scenes from even just the first two volumes after all.

Onto the ocs!!

Dynamic/relationship: This is a fun one. I've mentioned they both very much love each other already, I think at first they're both very superficial about it and build up versions of each other in their head (Astral even moreso having known longer). It gets deeper as time goes on but Astral isn't obssessed with Anjem just as a person, but also for his quality of being human. Anjem is similar likewise but there's a mighty power imbalance there.

Astral is actually also a special shade! He remembers before morphing. He's probably the worst one to do so though because he doesn't really care about the Shadow House - not when it gives him license to not only have Anjem to himself, but also such close access to humans. To him, the memories just give him a clearer understanding if the Faces' limits. He gets very annoyed with seeing others treat their living dolls badly and will pick fights about it or ask Anjem to give them recompensary gifts to them.

Anjem I'm less clear on... He's bad at cleaning but Astral doesn't mind particularly (and also doesnt produce enough soot for it to be a problem). The rigid structure of his life gives him comfort in its reliability but he does often long for some of the luxuries Shades get. Like nice clothes and better food. He doesn't like coffee though haha. I don't think either of them ever realise the brainwashing thing bc Anjem's too picky and never fully swallows the coffee anyway, sometimes vomiting it out. He still gets the effects partially though

Goals: I think Astral does want to escape the House eventually - he doesn't care too much for getting everyone else out, he just wants to find more and more humans and learn everything he can about them. Anjem I haven't decided too much yet. He knows Astral's goal and wants to be there with him to see it too, to travel the world, but I think he'd be scared of taking that step.

I think he wants to see his siblings again, one last time

Roles: Oop... Astral's power is very good for healing wounds so technically the relief team would be good for him but I personally wouldn't put him in a room with so many humans in it XD He keeps his power very downlow but regardless, I think he'd have made his way into the relief team. He's their bigger advocate on training to treat dolls better.

Anjem wanted to be in the research team instead but, as a Face, he has to tag along and look pretty

Power: At first Astral was pretty bad at controlling his power. He doesn't have blood himself after all, it was very unknown territory. In fact, the only way he Did grow better at it was When his experiments on Anjem failed. They could be very dangerous failures too, in case his soot clogged a vein or he clotted uo the wrong part or forced it to produce too much blood. In his panic to fix it, he tended to reflexively reverse whatever he'd done and so far, though there have been catastrophes, Anjem hasn't died. There was a time when Astral stopped his heart but that's whatever, he's immensely better at controlling them now. He doesn't frequent the training room (especially since his powers require blood), but instead has perfected his powers through practice in his room. He does also keep a few vials of blood he requests from the relief team that uses to practice with at times.

He prefers it best when it's with Anjem though :)

There was once, when the brainwashing had worn off more, where Astral fucked up. In attempting to heal a wound on Anjem's wrist, he accidentally sped up the production of the blood and it poured everywhere, spilling out faster than healthy. Anjem, wide eyed and afraid that this time, he was going to die, scrambled away from him screaming. He tried to run away but the pain was blinding him so much he could barely concentrate. Nothing Astral said could convinve him to calm down, and the last thing he saw before passing out was Astral roughly grabbing at his arm.

Astral was able to stop the blood, working with this as an experiment to control his area of effect, and sealed the wound. He bandaged it up and treated it with care, pressing a careful kiss of regret on the bandage and on Anjem's hand, the black mark staining his skin.

Anjem woke later in his box. He was afraid and angry and upset. He didn't talk to Astral for a full week, only interacting with him as a Face. Astral was heartbroken by this and apologised many times. They made up finally, after Astral stopped him from cleaning and held his hands, about to apologise again, when suddenly Anjem lifted the shade's hands and pressed a kiss to each.

"I'm tired of this. I miss speaking with you. I forgive you, so stop apologising every time I enter a room."

That mended things but going forward, Astral started getting external vials until he was better at his control.

Tidbits!

Astral likes his name but also wants to be separate from it. In private, he asks Anjem to call him "Aster" as a similar compromise. Anjem means "star" in arabic - he named his Face to match the name he preferred :)

Anjem is mostly good at reading Astral's emotions but they have a system of handsignals and body language to indicate the faces they want to make.

I've been thinking on them and their age awhile. I hadn't noticed when I made them that adults get finer clothes than the chikdren but I refuse ti change my design, I'm attached </3 I think they're similar to Barbara and Maryrose - old but still in the children's wing by virtue of not being given an invitation

This is partly due to Anjem's scar but mostly due to Astral's refusal to be useful outside of the bare minimum (this is not a noble thing, he's lowkey just lazy)

Oh my god I wrote a lot sdjbhf

Yeah!! That's them! That's my boys. I'm thinking of making a couple more too - I want to explore the idea of someone using their Face to hide disguise their real emotions

Thank you so much for asking 😭 it means the world to me and got me to think about them more

As an extra, have a doodle of Anjem's second sight of Astral:

[nevarroes]

I love your art so so much, i care about these fuckers of yours way too often

Can I ask what Cas'd do if Gortash had a medical emergency? Something where he wouldn't die but where Cas'd think he could? Could be anything from a heart attack to getting poisoned or to someone managing to get close enough to stab him (i have a vivid image in my head of Cas massacring them in a moment so bad that only the person's hand is left in one piece, holding onto the blade still in the archduke..)

(But also that blade wouldve had to be long as hell to get past all the fat >~> so maybe a spear)

thank you so much first of all😔💜🙏🙏

secondly☝️ hmm the first thing to mention is that this happened once. It’s somewhere in my lore tag too but tldr Cas’ brother came back, sent by Mephistopheles and he gravely wounded Gortash. He lived because he took his own measures too, but Cas thought he was going to internally bleed out right there so he begged him to not die while confessing his love as some sort of… last effort in a way. They got into a fight right after and that together with Cas feeling like he’s putting Gortash in danger, especially because of him thinking he failed to protect him, made him literally leave Gortash

so ermm…. considering this it’s really hard for me to see another actual near-death situation simply because it would kill Cas, like it would kill him to fail like that again and have to see something get past him to harm Gortash🙂‍↕️

If we wanna consider something that is more like… maybe it barely scratched him but it *couldve* went badly though then yeah I do agree with ur vision this is real as hell💜 There’s nothing that can make Cas as mad as someone trying to harm Gortash quite frankly. nd after that…. Gortash would deny being even a little hurt of course, just kinda limping back to where Cas stands all covered in blood before Cas catches him and gets him to sit or lie somewhere. Cas is fussing sooo bad over him when he has anything actually, because he just feels responsible for him tbh. It’s a bit more deep-rooted than just loyalty and love too, because Cas also sees the whole weight gain stuff as him harming him (Gortash doesn’t at all) in a weird way, so he goes out of his way to make sure nothing else can get to him since he already does enough harm, iykwim

anyways yeah Cas fussing about him and literally bandaging him up while Gortash is trying to be all tough nd tell him its just a slight bruise. Cas also keeping him in bed the whole time while Gortash is trying to go back to work🙏

[stormyoceans]

MONICA!!!!!! The concert was so good!!!! 😭😭😭 I’m assuming you’re ok with spoilers so here goes 😬

The first half of the show was them playing and recreating the key scenes and singing in them which I thought would trigger me tbh but instead I think it did me good to see the scenes I loved again 🥹 and Jimmy, Mark and Sea were so freaking good they cried in some scenes and I cried seeing them cry and it was so emotional again!!! I really wanna go back and rewatch all the good parts now, it’s still 80% a really good series!!

And they did Blame the Stars together!!! And you saw they did the “can I have my shirt back” scene!!! 😵🫠

(They played the breakup scene but not the reconciliation, it kinda just skipped to “happy ending” and I’m actually glad that we don’t have to rehash all of that)

They did full group songs and unit songs and what got to me was that MarkNamtan and OhmFilm did songs but so did NamtanFilm and MarkOhm!!! The NamtanFilm song was 😙👌

They did a whole Vice Versa medley!!! They did it for me!!! 😄 I was so happy and excited to see it!!! I hope that gets more of the newer fans to go watch it!!!

Jimmy, Mark and Sea had solo moments too, love that for them!!

They were surprised with a fan made video in support of them!! 🥰

Their speeches at the end were emotional and everyone cried, including me 🥹 Sea went second to last and Jimmy went last and he spoke the most 😁

It was just under 4 hours long, it started a little late (as all GMM concerts do tbh) but it was so good and worth only getting 4 hours of sleep 😅 I really hope you get to see it and enjoy it too!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR LIVE STREAMING EXPERIENCE OF THE LAST TWILIGHT CONCERT WITH ME KAREN!!!!!!!!

ngl reading this and seeing all the clips on twitter is making me want to buy the ticket for the rerun so badly like i always knew it was gonna be great and that everyone was gonna give their all but damn. the concert actually felt so well organized and thought out, i love that they basically turned the show into a musical and gave space for all kind of performances and pairings!!!!!! i've always wanted a duet version of blame the stars and im so happy they finally gave it to us!!!!!! and seeing namtanfilm and markohm slow dance alongside jimmysea was such a blessing THEY TRULY SAID THERE AIN'T NO STRAIGHT PEOPLE LEFT IN THIS SHOW

i really wasn't expecting it, but tbh i feel the same way as you. i think this did me good. maybe im just saying this because i haven't seen any videos of the break up scene so i can just keep pretending it never happened, but the parts i did see are kind of healing the hurt i've been feeling over the last three episodes of the show and bringing back all the love and excitement i used to have for morkday

ALSO NOT TO BE DRAMATIC BUT JIMMYSEA SINGING THE ENTIRETY OF THE VICE VERSA OST WITH A BRIGHT PINK STAGE SURROUNDING THEM MADE ME CRY LIKE A BABY like i truly did not expect them to bring vice versa up because last twilight is what brought them the popularity they always deserved so i was afraid they would kinda forget about vice versa, but im honestly just so ridiculously happy and emotional to know that it's still in their heart. or at least that they know it's still in ours, even if we may be a minority in the fandom now

i already had a meltdown over jimmysea this morning and i really can't afford another one and i don't think i would even have the words to express everything i feel but. im just so proud of them. it's honestly insane to me that they were able to pull off a performance like this in such a short period of time and with such a busy schedule. their dedication, their hard work, their kindness..... I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS THESE TWO BOYS DESERVES ALL THE LOVE AND RECOGNITION IN THE WORLD

[helluva-dump]

Originally this was an oc I’ve had since teen years since she was originally a black butler oc.

But I decided to give her a massive redesign and recycle her to Hazbin hotel/Helluva boss

I know, I have such mixed feelings about the show and I really am not a big fan of their creator but idk… the nostalgic talk of ideas I had with friends during the early days of the fandom and I just kind of miss it.

But yeah that’s Lucinda aka Lucy, she’s guardian Angel (who later becomes a fallen Angel) that’s a descendent of Ruth. She’s very loyal, caring, and a compassionate person that wants to make the best for heaven. She mainly goes by the New Testament and feels like Heaven has an issue with the higher angels still clinging onto the Old Testament. (Much like our political climate lmao )

I was gonna scrap these ideas for her but idk… lately I’ve been thinking about Catholicism again and I recalled hearing how evangelicals and Republican “Christians” are now calling Jesus woke and I’ve been watching documentaries about Christianity and how it wasn’t really always linked to republicans

And I just been looking back at Bible stories I loved when I was really into Catholicism and I got inspired by friends who made Angel ocs and ahhh it made me wanna look back into the religion, it’s mythos, folklores and angelology and it’s been inspiring me with ideas.

I always been fascinated with the folklore with Christianity whether it’s angelnology or demonology, there’s just so many interesting ideas you can do to with a concept of Heaven and hell.

I was sooooo disappointed that Vivziepop was gonna go super biased and go with the “Lmao piss of Christians” root and just make heaven evil and hell good….

Okay, so I’m not exactly super Christian as I used to be but I can tell you why that’s gonna mess up the world building.

How the hell can hell be better than heaven when you get r@pists, n@zis, p3dos, serial killers, and hell a huge captilism problem as well as classism??? That to me doesn’t sound better than Heaven at all and I don’t see how Viv sees why this could mess up her world building.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t want Heaven to be 100% perfect but tbh… I wish she went with a morally grey route for both Heaven and hell. Showing both the pros and cons both places have.

But yeah sorry rant aside, I’m bothered she didn’t do research on such folklores befofe wanting to do a story on Heaven and hell. I get she doesn’t wanna offend Christians that may take it personal…. But she literally had already made pagans and witches angry with how she badly misrepresented Voodoo and potrayed Stolas. (I won’t lie that bothered me too )

And I get religious trauma, but I would still take wha to learned from the Bible and make it work with world building. It’s possible to make a good story while still showing respect to the mythos and faith. Moral Orel was a good example of that and it never was disrespectful to Christianty, but to those that use the religion to harm others. I was so hoping she can take that route but didn’t.

anyways rant aside, I wanna have fun doing more things with Lucy

[forcebookish]

ok so I feel like we still have a lot of loose ends to be tied up in just 3 eps but my biggest concern is do you think mew will ever find out exactly what boston did to top and whatever vid he showed him? i was really hoping it would be a big reveal later on but the more time passes the more i feel like it's gonna get glossed over 😩 on another point i know we don't technically know that boeing is THE ex but they made way too big of a deal with the top/sand thing for it not to be and everyone thinks he's gonna mess with topmew (it's obvious to me we are being set up and there is nothing romantic/sexual going on there) but it's really gonna be sandray. we know those 2 are due for one more big blowup and i think he will be the cause. and also i know other people have brought this up but it looks like topmew and boeing are at trivia night and i wonder if mew is feeling extra competitive/insecure and top notices and reassures him and we finally get a kiss <333 (i can dream) i mean mew told cheum how badly all of this effected his confidence and i can imagine that having top's ex there is doing horrible things to his mindset even if there's nothing going on.

the longer it goes the more i fear the "video clip" boston had is just going to be dropped/glossed over😩 or it really is just supposed to be a video of them kissing that night😩 and i thought that there was going to be a follow-up to the video that mew stole from gap too, since he still has it on his phone, but after these last two episodes i don't know what to believe 😩

and yeah, i think if boeing is a threat to topmew at all it's going to be a relatively harmless one. throughout the drama, top has only ever been interested in mew and mew has only ever been interested in top. it's clear that he's only there so that top can sleep without medication, and it seems a little too boring/obvious for these writers for boeing to try to get back together with top. i think if he's going to try to get with anyone it's going to be mew.

or sand? knowing they're at yolo does make me suspect that boeing is indeed sand's ex and it's gonna be a whole thing seeing him there. i would love to see sand see red again about it and think he's doing something by "stealing" him from top only to ruin his own life. (evil laughter) i'm still annoyed that he's gotten barely any comeuppance for stealing the audio tbh - even nick hasn't brought it up? during that scene where nick brings up the topic of them kissing/getting together, i first thought that he was going to ask about the audio🤷‍♀️

no matter what, though, i think you're right about boeing's presence shaking mew's confidence. for a long time, mew's felt like he's had to compete with others for top and boeing is only going to aggravate that when he's already extra sensitive about it. and i am sooooooo curious about how they end up at trivia together. is it after or before topmew get back together? because it seems like they really do get back together after mew goes to the rage room.

(which, btw, is such a cool thing for top to suggest he do; like, not only is he being conscientious of mew's feelings and giving him a healthy outlet for them, he's helping to make sure that mew doesn't just take it out on top and he's not just stewing in resentment. like, as much as top has been taking all of mew's frustrations, he knows that that can't continue through their relationship.) (also i'm jealous😭 i wanna go to a rage room😭😭)

here's hoping all the loose ends get tied up, but with so little left of the series, i don't know what to expect! 🙏 take care, anon! thanks for stopping by!

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Don’t bother if you don’t want a rambling minor bit of venting or are prone to telling people off. It will save us both being annoyed.

(This is about a cat. Don’t try to lecture me about what I should do. I will just make me angry. I do not live in the idealized world most of you live in. I can agree that you should keep cats indoors, if you have that option. BUT I can also tell you that after a stable cat population has lived here for centuries I am not going to freak out because I and they are the current generation of out families stuck living here.

I am not a crazy cat lady adopting cats. I have never bought, adopted, or asked for a cat. Or really any pet, TBH.

They live here. I live here. And we struggle to survive together.

There is very little choice for any of us. I expect even they strays, dog, cat, or pig, ended up here out of desperation. And knowing a sucker when they see her. I’m just the broke idiot that will skip a meal for some beastie. I suppose I could chose to stop feeding them or something, but I am NOT a monster. It would be like refusing to feed a member of my family, and as for getting rid of them, well it’s as much their home as mine. I’m sure as hell not evicting them or breaking up the family!

Look, I’m exhausted and hurting. I had a long day of hard work, and discovered new problems to deal with. My mood is pretty rotten, partly because for all my efforts I made so little progress. Mostly I think I’m just grouchy because I didn’t get to enjoy a nice rainy, foggy day and instead just worked non stop.

If folks wanna give me a hard time for not keeping all the animals (20 cats, 5 dogs, and a hog!) inside they might as well unfollow me now, ‘cause bully me and I’ll just block you. I’m not in the mood!)

Nony, the 1/4 grown orange kitten, has discovered how to get into the house.

When he got in the first time I assumed he had slipped by me as I came in. I was exhausted, so might have missed him. I cuddled him a minute and put him back on the porch. A couple minutes later I heard a noise from the planks over the chasm to my bedroom, and there he was again!

Turns out the floor collapsing more has created gaps the canvas I put over it no longer quite reaches. He was running out through the cat flap on the porch, round to the other side of the house, and going through some gap on one of the vents (which I have had to keep shut to keep the critters out), then leaping up to grab the canvas and climbing through the gap.

I’m impressed. And frustrated.

The house is already a disaster, with the collapsing floor leaving very few places to walk, the rotten walls with occasional mushrooms growing out of it, the fact that the door to my bedroom literally fell off… The idea of having an indoor pet is insane. Hell, I am almost living outside with them. I keep threatening to move into the dog house since it’s warmer on cold days!

These are farm cats, a population that has stayed stable at about 20 all my life and whose ancestors have been here for probably centuries. Some are full on feral, and a pain in the ass to take care of (and one is a monster that claws everyone, feline or human, that gets within two feet!) Even the very cuddly ones (Like Nony, Daniel, Saw, Waddles, YowYow, Bobbi, Ash….ok, that’s a lot of them LOL) I only let indoor supervised. They are no more domesticated and well behaved than I am. My house may be a total wreck but I’m not having someone piss behind the stove or use my bed as a scratching post.

Anyway, I can’t afford a new canvas, and when I do finally it is going to have to be for Ryoga’s (pig) roof. (I BADLY need a new one for him.) So I took a trash bag and duct tape to the worst gaps.

Nony is yelling now. He wants in, though I suspect he is hoping to get some of the canned food I have been using with Daniel (for his meds, so I feed it to him in the house). Much as he purrs when I pick him up, I doubt love would have him so desperate to get in!

[hannieween]

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS??? SO MANY THINGS TO SAY???????? OH MY GOD?????????????? BUNNY BEING MAD IS SO ME BUT ALSO CRYING OUT OF FRUSTRATION IS SO REAL AND ALSO JOSHIE GETTING A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE AND BEING JEALOUS AND THE PSEUDO PROPROSAL AND JOSHIE MOVING IN AND AND AND

Dude when I tell you I cried reading this it's no joke oh my LORD. Honestly, as much as I love the smut (and I do, don't get me wrong), I love the parts inbetween the sex even more, the development of the relationship, the ups and downs, joshie being hurt (take that asshole 😤😤😤 but not really because again, no matter what pretty boy does the second he smiles at me I'm GONE), etc etc. The world building aspect has been so fleshed out so well, you should be so proud of yourself V! You've created your own little universe (and as I've mentioned before, rivaling the length of actual published books!) and I've really become so invested in it and the characters that live within it.

I know you said you're planning a season 2 kind of to CL, and I'm hoping that's what you meant when you said this is the last part of the main story?? I'd really hate to see this series end, especially with the new introduction of hannie 😭😭 even though we're THEORETICALLY good with joshie again, I'm still desperate to see how his relationship with bunny evolves and how they navigate through all the hardships, etc. Even though they've talked through some of the stuff, I think there's still a lot more room for conflict (translation: ANGST AND MAKE HIM HURT 😈😈) especially with the hannie shaped elephant in the room (please, PLEASE, I'm BEGGING you to make Joshua feel jealous and insecure PLEASE ITS ALL I NEED TO FINALLY FORGIVE HIM I NEED HIM TO HURT IN THE SAME WAY I HURT WHEN WE MET THEA!!!)

I feel like I have more things to share but HWJFJDJSN I'll leave it at that for now :') I've harassed you with enough for one message

Once again, congrats on everything you've accomplished so far V 🎉🎉 you should be proud of yourself, seriously. It's not a small feat and you've done an amazing job ❤️❤️

WHY ARE YOU YELLING????? OMGGG????? OKAY WE ARE YELLING BECAUSE LIKE YES BUNNY GETS MAD AND ANGRY FOR THE FIRST FUCKING TIME IN HER LIFE AND JOSHUA FINALLY GETTING HIS ASS READ TO FILTH (although not quite as much as he needed tbh but his time will come)

aw baby, don't cry 🥺 come here 🫂

thank you so much V! thank you for always bringing in such precise comments and thoughts! i love your comments so much and i didn't post this immediately because it contains some spoilers but i reread this like 20 times already and it brings me a smile i wanna hug you so tight 😭🫂🩵

yeah, i worded the author's note pretty badly! what i meant is that the main story for city lights it's wrapped up. the following chapter will serve as a establisher for what season 2 will look like (iykyk wink wink) hehehe

please!! if you have more to say feel free to yell about it in my inbox pls pls 🥺🩵

thank you so much baby! thank you so much for reading and dropping this in my inbox, thank you for being in my little writing corner!! love you 🥺🩵😭

[we-are-inevitable]

Your ask box is my kingdom, I am taking it over

But anyway I so badly want your thoughts on Jack and Davey in my college prof au please please please I know I haven't spoken about it on tumblr yet except from a little bit but I love your Javid so yeah

-has watched high school musical thank you very much

ok ok @roideny obvi this is your au but here are my Very Important thoughts bc i love them Very Much ugh. in love w them

David Jacobs-Kelly:

44 years old, born in ‘79

Undergrad: majored in English, minored in Creative Writing

Masters: Poetics and Theory AdvC- NYU

Doctorate: English and American Literature, thesis is over gender and sexuality in Shakespeare

he’s been Dr. Jacobs-Kelly for about seventeen years by the time the story takes place!

as a prof, he teaches a comp class, an honors comp (Critical Analysis and Writing), and some creative writing/poetry courses! he’s a very busy man.

he meets Race, Albert, and Finch because they’re students in his comp class!

when he’s not teaching, he’s really involved in the local queer scene. i feel like he’s a staple at drag brunches and pride celebrations; he’s not a huge club fan anymore but he still loves being Involved. growing up during the aids crisis is traumatizing at the least, and im sure he lost a few friends, so he stays up to date in the queer stuff to sort of honor them.

he marries jack in 2011 when gay marriage is legalized in new york!

he’s a huge shakespeare fan, as seen by his phd studies. he has a hamlet-inspired tattoo because he’s gay

tbh he probably has a cat named after shakespeare (they have two cats im calling it now. shakespeare and bryan, name courtesy of jack)

he and jack don’t have any kids, but he’s a loving fun uncle for Les and Sarah’s respective kids!

Jack Jacobs-Kelly:

45 years old, born in ‘78

Undergrad: Studio Art! but he dropped out after a semester <33

he just decided that college wasn’t for him. why pay money for something he doesn’t need?

he goes straight into a set design apprenticeship that medda helps him get! medda is his adoptive mom, so he’s been around queer spaces and theatre since he was around 15. he loves it, it’s his home

that being said he probably sells his own paintings and maybe does mural work on the side, he likes to keep busy and is invested in the art scene, and he meets davey when davey moves to New York for his masters! he’s the reason davey stays in NYC <33

he’s very eccentric, and very much doesn’t give a fuck. he’s a black queer man- the universe already nerfed him, so why worry about anything else? i can see him being the really go-with-the-flow husband to davey’s more tight-strung academic vibe. they really balance each other out

again, they don’t have kids, but i feel like this jack is very much For The Youths? i can see him volunteering a lot, working for organizations that help troubled kids get into the arts— i feel like it’s his passion project that makes him feel better when davey is busy at the university all day. in another life he’s a foster parent, but he and davey just don’t have the lifestyle to foster, so he focuses his energy elsewhere!

whenever davey “adopts” some freshmen he’s always on board. he really hits it off with Albert!

not as involved in the queer scene as davey, but his career is literally in musical theatre set design, so even if he’s not in the queer scene he’s In The Queer Scene

i don’t wanna talk about him losing medda but i can see him eventually inheriting the theater!

he loves his nieces and nephews! he’s a big family guy

Extra Thoughts:

jack and davey are a pair. they rarely go anywhere outside of work without each other, and they’re so, SO in love.

jack pretty regularly comes to see Davey while he’s at work; he’ll bring him lunch to office hours and pop in to watch him lecture from time to time.

davey attends the opening night of every show jack works on <33

their apartment is always a mess LMAO. davey has papers and books everywhere, there’s paint on the floor, brushes all over the place— it’s what happens when you cross a tired academic and an adhd creative. shit happens.

they actually stay pretty hip and on-trend? idk how it happens but jack is rlly good with youth culture and davey is on top of gay culture so like. yeah they work.

over summers and breaks, they travel a lot! not anything crazy expensive— they love international travel, but they’re also a big fan of road trips and rental cars!

they are my FAVORITES and i love them so much