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thecapricunt1616 · 1 day

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The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 19

Blurb (More BTC): “Baby you’re stressed- I hear it in your voice let’s go have a cigarette mm?” I gently touch his shoulder and he rolled it to get me to stop “Jesus y’fucking needy. I said no! I fuckin quit, ok? Do you need me to say it 3 fucking times so that you remember I told you? I quit. I fucking quit, okay? has it sunk into your fuckin memory? Ok, good Now get out of my fuckin face. There’s no available seats, and I don’t have time to fuck around and listen t’you talk about bull” he went right back to plating the food and my mouth drops a bit.

♡ Chapter Inspo: "You're Losing Me" - Taylor Swift ♡ Summary: Carmy is dead set on getting a star because he thinks it will assure Syd will stay at the restaurant. Winnie is sick and tired of his attitude lately ♡ W/C: 11.1K+ ♡ A/N: Hello everyone !!! It has been a while since we have visited Carmy and Winnie! Most of you are new here, I don't think i've posted a TB&HH chapter since I had like 100 something followers? Anyhow, this is my OC fic! I hope you enjoy it. You can find the landing page right here if you'd like to read from the beginning / catch up on the last chapter By the way i'm still doing my 300 celebration blackout bingo if you wanted to send in a request! Or if none of those tickle your fancy I have a list of prompts, as well as my rules here on my masterlist! Or, If you just wanna talk i'm always here! ♡ Warnings for BTC: Swearing, Kinda verbally abusive behavior, Sad!Winnie, Alcohol/Drug use, Asshole!Carmy (thanks S3!!!)

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡ ➵ My 300 Follower Celebration Bingo! ➵ Catch up on Chapter 18!

It had been 3 weeks since Carmy had seen his mother. He had called Natalie back when he got out of the shower, and stood on the balcony for about 40 minutes chain smoking like a steam train while he spoke to her, and when he came back inside he just wanted to cuddle and watch cooking shows the rest of the day, to which considering the shit week he’d had and it was only Monday- was to be expected.

After the bruise had gone down enough to be covered with makeup, he threw himself in to his work harder then I’d ever seen before. He would leave the house at 4:30, and not be back until midnight every night. And then, he would stay up until 2 playing around with new recipes and replating dishes over and over, thumping it into the garbage each time he felt it wasn’t just right.

Something was…different with him lately. I assumed it was just the toll Donna’s harsh words were taking. But I missed my Carmy, my sweet bear. He had been so…short with me lately. He wasn’t texting as much, I hardly got an ‘I love you’ out of him most days, because I hardly exchanged more then 2 words with him. It was like living with a ghost, or a roommate that hated you. We hadn’t had sex since before the family dinner everything transpired, but that wasn’t even what got to me most.

I figured he was just…distracted? I knew Carmy loves me, he wouldn’t be coming home every night if he didn’t. So that is why I had taken it upon myself to tell Richie to save me a table tonight and not tell Carmy, so I could surprise him and finally give him the absolutely adorable specially made crochet knife storage pouch that I’d even sewn fabric into and embroidered his initials on. I made sure to wrap it super pretty with navy blue ribbon and brown paper just like the colors of the restaurant before I headed down there.

When I walked in I had a bright smile, I was so excited to see him and hopefully sneak a smoke break outside, it had been a while since we did that. I had even done my hair extra pretty for him, curled how he liked and put in one of my silky bows that matched what I’d wrapped around the present paper. I remembered when Carmy had told me that navy was his favorite color on me, and that it complimented my hair so well. I told him I would wear it more often cause it always brought out the blue in his pretty eyes which of course made him blush and smile one of his shy boyish smiles.

“Cousin!” I chirp happily and wrap my arms around Richie “it’s been too long, how are you? Still got my seat?” I asked, he wrapped his arm around me a kissed the top of my head in that sweet, brotherly way.

“Hey Shortstack, M’sorry we’ve been swamped- this might not be a good time f’you huh? Wanna come back another day?” He pat my back gently and I pulled away slightly, looking up at him

“You mean Carmy is in a mood?” I ask and pout a bit. He gives me that look, and I sigh “I’m gonna go talk to him…he just needs a cigarette” I said and brushed off his objections, pushing open the door to the kitchen to see Carmy absolutely ripping Syd a new one, about what? I couldn’t be sure.

“I fucking TOLD YOU, if it’s not PERFECT it doesn’t GO OUT. You have TWO emulsions on this plate, BOTH ARE SPLIT it’s GARBAGE “ he shouts, chucking the entire plate of food into the garbage that I truly didn’t see a problem with. As someone who came from a home where we had peanut butter bread for dinner at least twice a month, seeing him throw away such expensive food made me nearly twitch, and the tone of his voice made me cringe.

“Carmy?” I held the wrapped present to my chest nervously, Syd looks at me, relief flashing in her eyes “why don’t we take a break?” I asked gently and go up to him, touching his hand and he pulls it away. He was angrily chomping on gum, and shook his head

“Not takin’ breaks anymore. What’s up, need somethin?” He asked, his tone nearly indifferent. I frowned bit, eyes flicking to Tina who would usually be telling Carmy to be nicer to his girl, or Marcus who would be beckoning me over to try some sweet treat he’d been perfecting- but instead they were dead focused on their dishes. Like I wasn’t even there.

“Babe, what do you mean? Cmon, let’s go smoke huh?” I gently rub his bicep and he shook his head again, grabbing a new plate from the stack of them beside his station

“Refire! 2 wagyu- let’s pick up the goddamn pace we’re fucking behind!, chefs! Every second counts, heard?!” he calls out in a loud, grating, nearly barking voice.

He was quickly met with a chorus of ‘yes chef’ and he got right back to plating some…thing? Without even a single glance to the woman he said he dreamed of being his wife. I didn't even know where I’d get started trying to guess what the little plate of flowers, and goop, and..some kind of meat? Would be.

Well, all I knew is it was ‘fancy’ and if I didn’t like it- Richie would be really upset with me, and so would Carmy. Also, that Carmy needed a break, and soon or he’d blow his top.

The food Carmy crafted when I saw him looked like barely a snack to me. Like - a single bite, and I told Carmy that, he used to chuckle and have me try it, but when I did lately he would get pissy and tell me I ‘don’t fucking get Haute Cuisine’ .

But the fact he was just essentially ignoring me and my love for him and how I had gotten all pretty for him and came all the way here but he didn’t give a single shit - it made me livid. He was really rubbing me wrong, lately . I had come out of my way to see him, and he couldn’t even take 10 minutes?

“Baby you’re stressed- I hear it in your voice let’s go have a cigarette mm?” I gently touch his shoulder and he rolled it to get me to stop

“Jesus y’fucking needy. I said no! I fuckin quit, ok? Do you need me to say it 3 fucking times so that you remember I told you? I quit. I fucking quit, okay? has it sunk Into your fuckin memory? Ok, good Now get out of my fuckin face. There’s no available seats, and I don’t have time to fuck around and listen t’you talk about bull” he went right back to plating the food and my mouth drops a bit.

I look up to search for Syd hopefully getting ready to yell at him for that, but she was over helping Tina with something. I swallowed thickly “do you want to maybe try that again? I don’t think I heard you correctly, Carmen” I kick his shoe lightly and he finally looks at me, fire lighting behind his eyes. I couldn’t believe that he was insulting me this way, something had to have crawled up his ass. “Because I know you didn’t just insult my memory knowing my situation. That would be really low, coming from you” I narrow my eyes in fury, the two of us staring eachother down like lions about to fight.

He hadn’t ever dared to speak to me or treat me this way before. Ever since we’d met, he was all blushy smiles and sweet mumbled compliments. His demeanor would brighten, like his energy was being dialed up when I walked in a room. He’d practically trip over his own feet to come give me a sweet Carmy Bear hug. But lately it was as if I was fucking bothersome housefly.

“I said” he dropped the long pair of tweezers he was using and took a deep breath, the vein in his forehead popping out and when he took a deep breath like he was about to scream I quickly said

“Remember. Think. Think right now Carmen about the way you’re going to speak to me. Think really hard because I told you once and I’m not telling you again what happens if you ever raise your voice to me demeaningly- don’t fucking test me” I said and he narrowed his eyes, breathing deeper how he did when his top was about to blow.

“Leave.” He said just above a whisper. I scoffed, blinking a few times not sure I believed what I heard.

“Leave? You want me to leave? Since when have you ever not wanted me around” I asked “what has gotten into you, Bear? You’re hardly sleeping you’re- you’re-“

“WHAT THE FUCK COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW, WINNIE?! ALL YOU DO IS PUT GOD DAMN BOOKS ON A SHELF. AND THE REST OF THE TIME? YOU WHINE ABOUT YOUR DEAD FUCKING BROTHER. NEWSFLASH- YOU FUCKING PRISS - YOU ARENT THE ONLY ASSHOLE WHOS BROTHER DIED!! SO CAN YOU DO ME A SINGLE FAVOR? A SINGLE THING, WIN? CAN YOU NOT STRESS ME THE FUCK OUT FOR A SECOND AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. UNTIL I TELL YOU OTHERWISE? LEAVE ME BE! YOU FUCKING NAG! CHRIST!!! ” He roared. His voice was so scary, so deep, so honest - tears started rolling down my cheeks before I could possibly stop them, and my lip wobbled as I held back hot, embarrassed tears.

Nat comes out of the back office “what’s going on-“ she flicked her eyes from Carmy over to me in the now silent kitchen. I didn’t even know who this is in front of me. But it’s not my Carmy, my Carmy would never willingly stab me in such a deep seeded wound, and then salt it right after by calling me a priss. I nearly choked on my tears, my heart racing and blood roaring in my ears. The same 3 words ringing in my ears

He’s leaving you, he’s leaving you, he’s leaving you.

“Carmen!” Nat snaps, “you can go fuck pal. What the fuck did she do to you?” She comes over to my shocked frame, heaving in breaths panicking worse then I did that night I’d met his mother. And hugged me gently, rubbing my arm

“Go. Fucking GO get her out. I don’t need the dramatic, stupid sniveling” he brushed me roughly toward the door, without a care of the world I nearly tripped over my own feet. I was so upset, I could have thrown up on the floor if Nat didn’t give him a sharp glare as she basically carried me out while I sobbed. She rubbed my back gently as she tried to soothe me as much as she could.

“He’s so stressed, win, this is him blowing out because he’s scared about Jimmy cutting us off.”

“S-sniveling?” I sobbed and Richie pushed open the door, pulling me into a big hug when we got outside “he- he said I talk too much about Chris” I choke sobbed into his jacket and he rubs my back gently, allowing me to cry as hard as I needed “he called me a priss Richie- w-why does he hate me now? What did I do?” I cry, my makeup streaming down my face in thick black streaks.

“He’s a little bitch, he’s become a little fuckin tyrant since Syd said she wanted a star, honey. It’s nothing t’do with you” he coaxed, gently rubbing my back how he did for Eva when she was upset, hoping it would have the same effect but unfortunately for him my heart had just been ripped out and stomped on by Carm so it wasn’t doing much.

“He- he knew what would happen I - I can’t. Oh god I don’t wanna break up why did he do this Richie” my voice horse and broken

“What’ya mean hon, he’s not breakin up with you- kids fuckin whipped are you jokin’?” He said and I shook my head

“I can’t - I - I can’t be with someone who’s abusive that way, Richie. I wish this never happened I - I wish I never came today oh god- oh god he’s gonna wanna come home later- can you- you- “ I choke back a sob, covering my mouth and squeezing my eyes shut at the realization.

“Tell him not to come home” I pull away and wipe my face, handing him the crumpled present “and give him this. I don’t want it” before heading the 2 blocks home. He didn’t try to stop me, it was no use with the state that I was in. The only person that could calm me down like this is Sadie, and I felt I’ve disappointed her because what she said nearly a year ago now, ended up being true. Carmen Berzatto is an asshole, and he’s only going to end up hurting me.

I stormed home, turning off my phone because I knew what I was supposed to do, and I didn’t want to be tempted to stop because people were asking me not to. I took 2 bong hits to calm down my breathing and stop crying finally, before wiping my makeup off and grabbing a box of trash bags. For the next two hours, I went around my apartment collecting any and everything that belonged to Carmy, or that I’d gotten him as a gift, and put them in to garbage bags.

I had told him when we first started dating, that I no longer date men who yell at me, or hit me. I made sure to let him know it was the only time I’d tell him, but if he ever were to raise his voice to me in a mean way we’d be over without even having to say it. So to take it as my warning. And he should have, because I was sticking to my word.

When I was done, I allowed myself to take an hours long steaming shower, and sob on my shower floor about everything. I couldn’t believe that Carmy had called me stupid essentially, made fun of my adhd and bad memory. That he had told me I talk too much about Chris when he knows the only way to keep your dead sibling alive is to share stories. Just like he did of Mikey, but I guess to him that street should only go one way.

I truthfully didn’t even know who this man was. Cold, uncaring, nearly evil. I wanted to scream and sob and kick things and punch Carmy but also kiss him and I wanted to slap him for what he said but I also wanted him to hold me and whisper about how he loves me more then anything in this whole fucked up world between sloppy kisses he left all over my face and neck. I wanted to lay with him in the dark and stroke his forearm as he tells me about his irrational worries and I soothe him by telling him no matter what happens we do it together.

Didn’t he love that? He said he loved that, that he loved me. But how could that be love? The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt Carmy, whenever I do even by accident the level of guilt I feel is immeasurable. But he so easily, so willingly hurt me about the single most painful thing in this world. Like I meant nothing to him at all.

I got into bed after getting into my favorite hello kitty pajamas, only to start sobbing again when all I could smell was him. I held his pillow, crying into it to stifle my sobs.

It was a good 3 hours of sobbing before I gave myself such a bad migraine that I essentially conked out and was woken up to Persephone asking for her dinner long after the sun had gone down. “Gosh- I’m sorry honey dad-Carmy” I correct myself, feeling tears spring to my eyes again. “C-Carmy” I start to sob again, shaking my head and covering my face with my hands. Sephy jumps up on the bed, coming over and licking my forearm sweetly and I sniffled deeply, picking her up and stroking her fur as I kiss her head.

“Carmy isn’t coming around anymore so I’ve been a little upset. M’sorry” I told her and got up, padding to the kitchen and putting on my glasses after wiping my eyes. I realized my phone was still sat powered off on the counter, so I took it turning it back on and grabbing her food for her while it powered up. I got my skincare globes out of the freezer, holding them to my puffy sore eyes, sighing softly In relief.

I sat there for a moment enjoying the feeling of the cold compress when my phone started buzzing over, and over, and over as it loaded through all of the notifications from the day. I popped the globes back in the freezer, seeing the last 56 texts were from Carmy, on top of 17 missed calls and 3 voicemails. I clicked on the thread and to start, it was horrible

-Fuckin really- you leave Richie with a gift to what, make me feel bad?

-Well guess what, I don’t so nice try.

-That’s really fuckin embarassing, you told Richie to tell me not to come home?? How old are you, really.

-Why wouldn’t I come home?? You’re being over dramatic.

-What do you wanna break up over a petty fight???

And after I didn’t reply, it turned into

-Fuck babe the pouch is really nice, I’m sorry.

-Is that pouch what you’ve been working on lately? You did so good, princess it's so nice, I love you.

-I’m sorry angel, please pick up the phone :(

-Come on honey I’ll come home early and make you your special garbage plate, and bring you your chocolate cake yea?

-Winnie, really. I’m sorry baby, I love you, you know that.

-I love you, pretty girl, please pick up the phone.

-Ok so I can’t make it early but I’ll try not to be late, hm? we can cuddle and watch your show

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as I read through them. In response, instead of words, I simply send him a photo of the 4 trash bags tied up near the door along with the huge stack of cookbooks and hit send, opening my freezer once more to find something to eat. I settle on a frozen pizza that had been living in there a bit too long but when you have - had. A genius chef boyfriend, every night was something new and delicious so frozen pizza was always off the table.

It wasn’t even 3 minutes before my phone was vibrating on the counter as a call came through, I look over and see the photo Sadie took of us at new years, big goofy 2024 glasses on Carmy and one of those large ‘happy new years’ sparkly headbands was on me, kissing out on her balcony with fireworks in the background as the clock struck midnight. I shook my head at the memory, deciding to just rip the bandaid now and I hit the green button, and hit the speaker button.

It was silent other then the sounds of the kitchen dimming as he walked down the hallway to go outside. “Sweetheart?” He asked, as if he was amazed I answered - he should be.

“No. Not anymore. When will you be by to pick up your shit?” I preheat the oven and grab my phone, going to sit in my bed while I wait for it to heat.

“Baby. Come on Angel, don’t be like that mm? M’sorry, I really am babygirl I-“

“Stop! I - I’m not your baby or your angel, or your babygirl, anymore, Carmy. You fucking forfeited that the moment you yelled at me and told me I was fucking stupid and couldn’t remember anything and then- and-“ I took a deep shaking breath “and what you said about Chris? Fuck you. That’s what I wanted to say, Carmy. Fuck, you. Fuck you for making me fall so fucking far in love with you- just for you to turn around and ruin it. We had something so beautiful and-“

He cuts me off this time

“Had. You’re gonna say we had something, Win? It’s been fucking not even a day can you hold the fuck on? Why are you throwing us away you know that we’re fucking-“

“What? Throwing us away? Tell me, Carmy. What did I say to you about dating men who yell” I said and he remained silent “say it.” I told him and he huffs.

“You don’t date assholes that yell at you or hit you anymore because you learned that y’better than that” he muttered.

“Mmm. So what makes you special?” I asked, and out of everything I said that night that was a knife straight to his gut. He felt like it knocked the wind out of his lungs, because if anything at all- I made him special. I made him feel special. And for him to now believe that I no longer see him as such, what was he if not special to me?

“Honey, baby- don’t- don’t do this” he said, the edge from his voice gone and replaced with that softness, that softness that only came with the real Carmy, my Carmy.

“What makes you special?” I ask again, my voice shaking as I bit back more tears, although I wasn’t sure how I possibly had anymore left to cry given today.

“You” he said barely above a whisper. I don’t know what I was expecting, it was more a rhetorical question for him to answer on his own- but that answer melted me to my core.

“Come home right now and maybe we can talk about you earning your way back. Maybe.” I said and hung up. I sighed, sitting back and rubbing my face to rid it of tears. Suprisingly enough, it was only about 10 minutes until I heard a key in the door and a familiar

“Honey?”

I sit up in bed, wiping away stray tears to try and look strong as possible, but when he came in, all of that resolve crumbled. His eyes were bloodshot, he had to have been crying too. But how? In the back office? Did he really leave the kitchen to go cry? I could hardly believe that. “Honey” he said, nearly relieved that I was really there and sunk to his knees next to the bed in front of me, taking my hands and kissing them all over the backs

“I’m sorry- I’m so so sorry, I’m so sorry pretty” he rests his forehead on the plush of my thigh, sighing softly and I resist the strong urge to detangle his curls from the day, something I hadn’t gotten the pleasure of doing in what felt like years but in reality was only a few weeks.

“Sorry for what” I urge and he nuzzled his face in my tummy

“M’sorry f’r being an asshole, and a bitch, and a piece of shit, and a horrible fuckin’ boyfriend” he mumbled, wrapping his arms around my waist like he’d never let go and kissing around my ribs and stomach “M’sorry honey. So so sorry. I love you” he repeated over and over, kissing different parts of me each time with slow, purposeful worshiping movements.

“Do you really think that about me?” I asked, allowing myself to gently rest my hand on his back, rubbing at the tense muscle through his chefs coat.

“Never. Never. That was so - so fucked baby. I regretted it the second I said it- I don’t even fucking know what’s wrong with me, I- I don’t” his voice cracks and he took a shakey breath “I don’t deserve you” he admits, his voice raw and honest. My hand trailed up, gently scratching at his scalp and that is when he breaks

“It’s just so hard this is all so fuckin’ h-hard baby” it comes out in a sob, and I gently pull him to come lay with me. “I don’t deserve this I don’t deserve- fuck. I don’t deserve to feel good after what I said babe. I don’t deserve comfort” he shook his head and stood, tugging off his coat. “M’sorry- I need to fuckin get it together. M’sorry. It’s just- everything is shit babe. Please don’t come to the restaurant anymore, ok? It’s too much- everything is too much and it’s like peace comin home and seeing you. I don’t want you mixed up with it” he kisses the top of my head

“Are we good?” He asked. I thought for a moment, swallowing thickly and sighing a bit. “Baby please” he plead, sitting down on the bed next to my legs and cupping my cheeks.

“How can we be good if you won’t even let me hold you? You don’t even want me touching you lately , Carmy. Are you sure you’re still…” I bit my lip to keep it from wobbling “that you still want me?” I asked. A few stray tears fall down his cheeks and he pulls me to his chest, hugging me tightly and kissing the top of my head.

“Baby- baby.” He whispered and rubbed my back gently “the only thing in this world that I’m sure of, is that I fucking want you. I want you more than I want the restaurant- I want you more then anything” he assured me, rocking me gently and kissing my cheeks.

“Then why do you spend more time with the restaurant then with me?” I ask gently, hating that I was enjoying his coddling and kisses.

“Cause I’m a way better chef, and a shit boyfriend. So I figure it spares us both the heartache of having me around too much” and the indifferent, casual tone he said it in tells me he truly believed it. That was the part about it that killed me the most.

“Oh bear” I whisper, cupping his cheek and pulling him into a sweet, loving kiss, gently playing with his curls. He nearly sighs in relief in my mouth, his palm spread flat along my back where he rucked up my pajamas so he could be touching me skin to skin, our favorite way. “Do you wanna know something, love” I said softly when I pulled away, planting a gentle kiss to the bridge of his nose. He rested his forehead on mine, eyes fluttering shut as he got lost in the much needed affection.

“Hm” he didn’t even have the ability to make some self deprecating joke, he could only focus on the way his heart felt steadier then it had all day now that he was back in my arms.

“If I could spend every waking moment with you, I would. Because you are my favorite person in this world, there is not one other being I’d rather be with day to day, even Taylor swift” I joke which earned a small smile from him

“That’s a lie, but thank you baby- I wish I could be around all the time, but I fuck up too much” he sniffled, and I wiped the stray tear stains from his cheeks.

“It’s the truth. And how do you mean, you fuck up baby? You are so good at being a boyfriend - today was the first time you’ve ever been nasty to me. And definitely the last, hm?” I confirm and he nodded quickly

“The last- it’s the last I swear. I’ll never be mean again t’you baby that was the dumbest shit I’ve ever done in my life. Y’my best girl, my favorite, perfect angel” he kissed my forehead and snuggled me close, gently petting my hair. We were quiet for a moment, just enjoying each others touch when he said “this is getting long” he whispered as he plays with the ends of my hair that brushed the mattress even while I sat in his lap.

“Mm- I thought you like it long” i kiss that pulse point on his neck gently to assure he was still calm, happy to feel the steady beat beneath my lips as I lingered for a moment, smelling the last bits of his cologne and the kitchen smell from the day on him that I loved so much, distinctly Carmen.

“I do. S’fun to play with” he rubs my back gently and rests his lips on the top of my head in a prolonged kiss, shutting his eyes and lingering for a moment, savoring the smell of my shampoo and hair oil that I’d actually gotten him to start using and to his surprise it did make his curls way less frizzy. The humid, Chicago summers were always his least favorite because it gave him a super curly Italian Afro that would go frizzy by the end of the day in the kitchen, but I loved it more then anything.

“Will you shower with me?” He asked after a few moments of silence, with his cheek mushed on the top of my head. I sigh softly “I had a long shower earlier, I’ll sit with you, though. My pizza should be almost done” I said and he lays back on the bed, taking me with him and I giggle a bit as I roll on top of him and he lets out a satisfied hum at his newfound weighted blanket.

“Never mind. Kinda want pizza” he adjusted my thighs so I’d straddle him and I tucked my hands under his back, kissing his neck gently as I usually would after a hard day, moving from his forehead to his nose and his cheeks then his lips and chin, then his jaw, then his neck, then his chest and arms and hands. I knew he loved it, because he’d sit with his eyes closed every time and essentially let me kiss him to sleep, it was quite adorable actually.

“M’serious baby. Never again, ok?” I said softly when I finished, laying comfortably on his chest with my cheek mushed against it and he took a deep breath. “Never again”

After things had calmed down a bit, we both ate, Carmy had a shower, we were laid in bed and I was stroking his hair gently, my sound machine already playing rain noise but I knew he wasn’t asleep. His hands were busy rolling and unrolling my pajama shirt hem between his fingers as I was sure his mind was racing.

“Why are you doing this, Carm. At work. What’s up, baby. Why are you changing so much stuff in the restaurant?” I asked and he stopped, his tattooed hand coming around my hip and squeezing gently.

“Baby I don’t wanna talk about this. I’m doing it because I have to, ok?” He said and rubbed my hip with his thumb gently.

“Sydney is going to quit if you keep talking to her that way. And then what is this for, Carmen.” I said boldly, my hand steadying on his head

“I’m teaching her” he said shortly.

“You’re treating her how that dick treated you.” I said and he tuts, taking a deep breath.

“Babe I’ve not even told you half of the shit that fuckface said, and trust me I’d expect Syd would stab me how she did Richie if I said that shit to her. I didn’t tell her she should be dead. I didn’t stop the entire fucking kitchen and tell them that Syd was so stupid, and slow, that we need to wait so we can give her a second to catch up. I didn’t literally kick her ass for wasting ingredients. I’m teaching her. She’s gonna thank me, I’m making her better.” He nuzzled back into my stomach and closed his eyes once again, likely expecting me to just take it at that.

“Ahh. So that’s what your boss did, when he was doing all that. He made you better? You think screaming in your face that made you better.” I scoff lightly, annoyed he thought this was at all good “you know she’s my best friend - one of them- Syd is basically Sadie’s sister. Which makes us that close.”

“Well y’best friend chose a career path that’s hard sometimes, honey. I’m tired I worked 16 hours today” he laid down on his side, back to me and pulling open his bedside drawer, tugging out a box of sticker looking things and putting one on his arm. Nicotine patch.

“And when were you gonna say you stopped smoking?” I asked, still confused why he wouldn’t tell me something as big as that, Carmy told me he’s been smoking since he was 15- that was half his life at this point.

“Do you give a fuck? Thought you’d be happy if anything. Thanks for the support I guess” he laid on his stomach, tucking his arms under the pillow, still not facing me.

I chuckle dryly “the support. Yeah Carmy. You are the most supportive fucking person as of late.” I got comfortable on my side, back to him “see you tomorrow night I guess since you can’t even be bothered to wake me up for a kiss anymore.” I snip, crossing my arm over my chest and frowning.

“I literally do do you want me to start recording it? Y’fuckin half asleep why would you remember.” He scoffs “fuckin looking for a fight, swear to god” he muttered

“You’re being a real jerk right now.” I huff and he chuckled sarcastically

“Yes babe. I am a fucking jerk you knew this when we first started dating, you used to be into it that’s the funny thing”

“Yeah I was into it when it was the whole jerk to other people but super sweet to me, thing. Now you’re a jerk to literally everyone and it seems you especially like taking it out on me, someone you say you love.” I said and he huffed, annoyed as he rolled over on his back, extending his arm

“C’mere. I don’t wanna fight like this before bed, please baby. I’m sorry. I’ll try to be easier on Syd, there. Can you come lay now. And stop actin’ like this” he said and I turn around, crossing my arms over my chest and looking at him, he motioned for me to get comfy on his chest so he could wrap me up in a hug and we could fall asleep.

“You’ll try, or you will.” I said and he did one of those fed up slow blink sighs.

“I will be more lenient with Syd’s fuck ups, even if I’ve shown her 50 times how to do it right and she’s still rushing it.” He said and pulled me to his chest, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my temple firmly “can we sleep now?” he murmured against my skin.

“Yes, we can sleep now” I gave in, knowing that I wasn’t going to get a better answer out of him until he’d at least had some sleep. I made it a point, though, when the sound of the shower woke me that I was going to get up and make him a coffee and some breakfast before work and hopefully we would get to spend some time together before he left.

I made us both some scrambled eggs and toast, making sure to put his coffee in his favorite travel mug I’d gotten him last Christmas and adding a bit of cinnamon for him as well. I heard the water cut off just as I was setting the table and finishing making my own latte, and when the bathroom door opened, and he saw the bed had been made- he called out a confused

“Babe? Y’up?”

“In the kitchen” I called back, putting my creamer back in the fridge and mixing up my iced latte I’d made for myself. He came in, towel hanging low on his hips and another around his neck since he hated the feeling of his hair dripping on his skin. It was truly a mouthwatering sight. “Morning handsome” I said and greeted him with a sweet kiss and handing over his mug.

“Morning babe- it’s…fuckin early- Y’don’t need to be up f’work until 8” he pats my bum gently “you made food?” He looked at the table and I nod happily

“Yeah! I figured we could have breakfast together, right? Before you have to go to work..you don’t always have to be so early bear - you guys open at like 5!” I rub his chest gently and kissed his now soft stubble free jaw, he’d been very diligent as of late of shaving his face - sometimes twice a day. I sort of missed his stubble.

“Yeah but I make the menu, honey. And I have to make a list of what I want Tina to get at the farmers market. I have to make sure everything is clean, I have to accept the meat delivery. And the dairy delivery. Someone’s gotta do it- but thank you, could you do me a big favor and slap it in a Togo for me? One of the plastic ones from the cabinet over the microwave that’s gonna be great to eat at work babe” he kissed the top of my head and headed back off to the bedroom to get dressed, leaving me stood alone in the kitchen again.

I wake up, before the fucking sun to spend time with him - I’m still brushed off.

“So we just don’t have sex anymore?” I call as I open the cabinet in search of the stupid fucking container he wanted me to put his breakfast in.

“What’s that mean?” He comes to the bedroom door as he put on his white shirt - “fuckin shit I forgot to switch over my whites! Fuuuuck” he runs over to the washer and dryer in nothing but his boxers and plain white shirt, opening it and smelling them to asses if he could just throw them in the dryer “fuck!” He exclaims “fuckin fuck fuck” he said annoyed and pours in another cup of detergent, slamming the lid shut and setting it to a quick cycle

“It means-“ I stop when he rushed past me, shaking my head and realizing he had completely stopped listening, anyway. “You can ask for help sometimes, you know that right?” I said and he shook his head annoyed, going back to the bedroom to grab his jeans

“You can’t help me babe. Thanks for the coffee but I gotta go over to mine to grab my spare whites- oh- you can help with somethin’ actually, can you just throw those in the dryer when you get back up? Love you” he gave me a quick peck on the cheek, grabbing the container of food and his travel mug of coffee and dashing out the door.

I sighed, giving a defeated “yup” and watching him leave. I sit down at the kitchen table, eating my lukewarm breakfast in silence as I think over the events of the morning. It could have gone so much differently if he just took a second. There was a fleeting thought in my mind when he got out of the shower that we could eat together and then have slow, passionate morning sex. The kind that he would mumble

I fuckin love you, baby- you know how much I fuckin love you, right?

You’re everything to me, my whole fucking world Angel.

You’re my peace baby, my home, my relaxation - I couldn’t ever go without you now that I have you, y’mine princess. Forever

Into the crook of my neck as he lazily thrusted in and out of me, his words and my mumbled praise and agreements with his words bringing us to the throes of pleasure more then the short rolling of his hips. It had been weeks since we’d done that, and it would always bring us so much closer after we did. It was what we needed, right now. Especially right now, it felt like we were worlds apart and I would do anything to bring us back together.

I pouted a bit, realizing just how much I missed him in that way, craving the closeness and the praise and the pleasure. I went ahead and opened our text thread, staring at the last which was the photo of his things in garbage bags we took about an hour putting away last night and I sigh softly. I type out a few versions of what I wanted to say, before settling on

I miss having sex with you, Carmy. Can we please try and make time tonight?

And sent it. It wasn’t the usual text someone would send or receive before 6 am, but Carmen and I had a tendency to not do things in classic or traditional ways. I see the type bubble pop up, then go away, then pop up a few times before I got a response of

Baby I’m pretty busy today but I’ll try to see if I can find time maybe next week. I miss you too, my best girl 🖤

I shook my head, sighing and pushing away my now empty plate. Feeling frustrated and horny and pissed off. What happened to the Carmy that would no matter how tired he was, get under the covers and eat me until I was a trembling mess and ask for nothing in reply, but give in to my begging him to fuck me cause of how good he made me feel. That man, I wanted that man. I was coming to the realization that not having sex was getting to me.

I send another text,

Or you could come home for lunch and fuck me like you know we both need. Or does the big, mean boss man not get a lunch break?

I bit my lip, petty - yes. But if riling him up to the point he has to come home and pound me from behind while rambling about how I’m such a pretty distraction and how could he ever say no to this pretty cunt was what I needed to do to get him inside me again, I would do it. He also needs it, he’s way too wound up.

It wasn’t long before I got a reply

Being needy and filthy over text isn’t gonna clear my schedule, pretty girl. I know you have toys why don’t you go put them to use and tell me how good you can make yourself feel, I know you can baby.

I furrow my brow, frowning and just reacting to the message with a thumbs down. Asshole.

I washed the dishes and switched over his whites to the dryer and go to bed for a few more hours before I would need to get up and get ready for my shift at the library. I listened to Taylor of course while getting ready, still in the process of memorizing the lyrics to her new album. I wished we could have gotten more time to listen to it together, but he doesn’t even have time to sleep it seems anymore, or have sex, or do anything that isn’t directly related to the restaurant.

It was getting exhausting just to even witness. It nearly felt like I was single again, and Carmy just lived here and kissed me sometimes when he felt he needed kissing. It’s almost as if he’d fallen out of love with me and in love with the bear and its success. I didn’t know what Nat meant by Cicero cutting them off - I figured that would probably have something to do with it. I leaned into the mirror, observing my freckles around my nose.

What if he realized you aren’t pretty enough for him?

I shook the thought out of my mind, going back to doing my eyeliner and telling myself I had to make an extra therapy appointment for this week, because the last time I felt like this was before I met Sadie and was all alone out here after Chris died. I finished up getting ready, giving Sephy extra love and snuggles per usual after she ate and then I headed to work.

When I got on the L, funny enough I bumped into one of my favorite people. “Is that Syd the Chef Kid?” I plop next to her and her face brightens with her classic Syd Smile.

“Pooh! What’s up carrot top, headed to the library?” She asked, popping her AirPod out so we could talk.

“Yup! How about you, shouldn’t you be getting your ass chewed out by my ever patient boyfriend?” I said sarcastically, sitting back and sighing a bit as the train pulled off again.

“I should…” she looks down “but uh. I took some time, this morning. You remember where Carmy used to work, Ever?” She asked and looked back over, I nodded a bit and she continued “well- it’s closing, and one of the chefs wanted to uh..talk. About an opportunity- please don’t tell Carmy I’m just going to hear him out and I-“

I cut her off “Sydney- that’s fucking awesome!” I giggle happily and hug her “what the hell- of course I won’t tell Carmy, but that’s like totally awesome! Right? You want to go different places in the cooking industry, that’s how you meet people, like Carmy did. You're so gonna get it if its a job offer” I told her. She looked a bit…surprised that I seemed excited about this, which kind of burnt a bit.

“You don’t- you like.. wouldn’t be mad? If I left? Cause then Carmy would be all… y’know- Carmy. When he’s trying to find a new right hand, and-“

“Syd. I can handle Carmen, trust me. If anything he would be sad but he would be so proud of you too I bet!” I hugged her “just- don’t tell him until you make a decision- ok?” I told her and she nods, smiling a bit thankfully.

“Yeah, for sure. He sent me this..partnership thing I’m not sure I wanna sign yet…At least until I explore my options” she said and I nodded, grabbing her hand and bringing it to my lips, kissing it gently

“Syd- do what is good for you! Ok? I can handle Carmy, he’s…he’s really regimented? And yes, you leaving will throw off his routine but I can talk him down from freaking out. I’m sorry you even have to deal with his behavior, most the time I wonder why I do- but…it doesn’t even matter! This is about you babe! Let’s go celebrate - let’s go to smart bar tonight and fucking party! Cause tomorrow’s your day off, right, you me and Sadie! We’ll get fucked up. We deserve it. And Charli just put out a new album!” I grabbed her hand “you deserve it, Syd. Let’s go! Cmon. Let’s go have fun Carmy has been such a dick lately!” I said and she laughed, her head falling back.

“God. I wish you could hear yourself, Win. Yeah. Carm has been such a dick. He doesn’t deserve you. But uh- I guess sure. Can Marcus come? He’s been bugging about going out” she said and I nod happily and clap.

“Syd!!!!!! Fuck oh my god I’m so excited!” I giggle “pregame at yours! Sadie is so coming. Fuck Mitch I hate that prick but he’s probably gonna be there. And - oh your boyfriend?” I said and she shook her head

“He said - it doesn’t matter. We’re not together. It’s fine. Let’s have fun, right?” She asked as we pulled at my stop. I nodded and got up, kissing her cheek quick

“Text me- I’ll be at yours after I get off work. I’ll wear that dress I lent you! If Carmy is a dick about you being late tell him I said to go pound sand!” I call as I got off, quickly heading to work since I was already late.

The day went extra slow, since of course I was excited for after work. I got home earlier then Carmy of course, because why would he ever make an effort to see me? And took a quick shower, packing my makeup and hair things, as well as a few bottles of alcohol before ubering to Syd’s.

When I got there- Sadie, Marcus, as well as some very handsome tall British man was In her kitchen. “Hey bitches” I said and they turned

“shortstack!” Marcus said happily and I giggle. The pretty blonde male and I meet eyes.

“Hi there” he said and oh - oh…he’s British? Mm. Hmm. Interesting.

“Hey” I said shut and shut the door behind me “like vodka?” I asked , and the way he looked at me made me feel we were the only 2 In the room.

“I’m a tequila guy, but vodka does it.” He smiled a bit, and his pretty perfect teeth made me nearly weak at the knees.

You aren’t single, just angry at your boyfriend. Behave, Winnie.

I giggled in a way that I hoped I would read as friendly, and gently nudge his shoulder-

Fuck. This guy is pure muscle, I’m sure his stamina is absolutely insane - Winnie! You are not single!! Stop being a perv about this pretty British chef …

But he’s so pretty

Winnie! Stop! Stop. Do you need to go home? You are taken. No matter how kind, and sociable, and funny, and fit, and muscular, and tall, and -

Winnie!!!!!!

I looked back at Syd, a fake smile on my face, as I clutched my phone, avoiding the tall, sexy Brit to my right that had such a sweet laugh and I’m sure a huge dick

Winnow!!!

I couldn’t be more ashamed of where my mind wandered if I tried. I phone, avoiding his pretty blue green eyes - Jesus ! Why do all these men around Carm need to have the prettiest eyes!!!

“This is Luca” syd said, taking my tote full of bottles of alcohol, and starting to load them in the freezer. “He’s here because he worked with Carm at Ever- Richie introduced us, cause he went to check up on Jess after they said it was closing and this guy was hanging around like a dingleberry” she teased and he chucked, his eyes crinkling adorably.

Fuck, he’s cute. And tall as fuck.

“I’m Luca- nice to meet you uhh-“

“Winnie. Winnow- call me Winnie, though.” I shook his soft hand, blushing when he brought it to his lips and kissed my manicured fingers kindly.

“Well, Winnie, you look beautiful. Would you like me to make you a drink? You’ve brought quite the selection here” he squeezed my hand kindly before letting it go carefully and motioning to the selection of mixers Syd had set out.

It had been - well- since Carmy had stopped caring to woo me, really since the last time someone had cared to flatter me so openly, so I shrugged and smiled. Blushing at the compliment and offering my thanks.

“Yes, Chef Luca. Thank you” I squeeze his muscular bicep gently and Syd gives me the wiggle ‘get it’ brows as I sit down at the island. I rolled my eyes playfully, if anything she should be flirting with him.

“Where are you from?” He asked as he grabbed a glass, filling it with ice and putting a shot of vodka before a shot of lime and I smiled a bit

“Rochester New York. You’re from somewhere in England, right?” I asked and he chuckled a bit as he shook the drink together

“Right. London. You’re uh- you’re Carmen’s girlfriend isn’t that right” he poured the drink in a glass and handed it over. I nodded, looking down into the drink.

“That I am” I said quietly. I never knew these days what would come after someone saying that, he’s an ass, or he’s a genius or he is the best in the world. I was ready for the unfortunate embarrassing ladder of “he’s an asshole” but instead, I got

“How in the hell do you keep up with that guy? What’s he feeding you?” He joked, causing me to laugh a bit and sip my drink.

“Uh- I guess a lot of patience and love.” I said and Syd and I gave eachother a long glance.

“Where is he by the way? He hiding from me or somethin yea?” He chuckled and I smiled, laughing to match the mood and Marcus thankfully interjects

“Carmen doesn’t do clubs. You should know that” he nudged Luca gently and he huffed a laugh

“I guess- yeah. Makes sense” he said, and it clicked all the sudden.

“Holy shit” I whisper, staring at him and they all looked at me confused, staring at me silently.

“What- what you fucking weirdo” Syd nudges me and I nod towards Luca

“Him- him- that’s who…he like- you” I stared at him again and he furrowed his brow as he looks at me confused

“Who what?” He asked and put his cup down

“Carmy - you? Why? What about you what are you good at what did you beat him at?” I asked curiously and put my cup down as well “he still talks about you- what did you do better? It still haunts him “ I laugh a bit “how did you beat him out, all the time. he…he worships you in a way” I said and he cackled a laugh, nudging Marcus

“I like her! That’s funny darling. Uh- nothing. I just can ride his ass constantly but can never get ahead. Carmen is …. Something. I don’t know how he possibly manages, but -“

“He doesn’t sleep, or eat.” I said truthfully and shrug, and with the bluntness of my voice he just raised his eyebrows, eyes flicking from me to Syd to Marcus and back to me.

“Doesn’t sleep” he repeats and I nod, shrugging again

“Rarely- empire. You know that place?” I asked and he nods carefully and I nod as well “yeah. That place. He wants the bear, to be better. That’s what he keeps saying. So, he can’t. He says he has no time -“

“Does he know who that place is run by?” He asked

“His old Boss” Syd said. And I look over to her to see her looking back at me carefully and I nodded

“Hates that guy. Never work for that guy, Luca he’s a jerk” I told him and he chuckled, nodding

“Yes. That is pretty well known, that’s actually something he’s known for. No one really knows how Fields manages…he seems to be-“

“A robot” I finish for him and he nods

“So- when you say he doesn’t sleep does he-“

“Maybe 2 hours a night. I’ve been telling him he’s gonna give himself a stroke - he doesn’t care. He gets up and four and passes out at 2:30. Sometimes, well- a lot of times he has to sleep until 5 and I keep snoozing his alarms cause he’s so dead to the world he doesn’t even hear them but he wakes usually at 5” I nod “and when he comes home he keeps working, he’s had to buy 3 new sets of porcelain since they’re working for their star or whatever he keeps smashing them. My cat is starting to actively dislike him and his outbursts.” I explained. He motioned to Syd and she looked to him

“A star. Why the hell would you want one- weren’t we just talking about it? How it’s impossible to keep” He asked and she shrugged

“I said that too but Carmy said it’s what I wanted and I told him we didn’t have to but he insisted..”

“How did that thing go, Syd” I look at her and she shakes her head quickly to tell me to stop

“What thing?” Marcus asks “you had a thing?” He nudges her and she flashes a small smile, looking into her drink

“Girl thing- it’s nothing.” She lied and shrugged “let’s do shots! Luca you’ve done a proper tequila shot right?” She turned to the freezer and he laughed a bit

“Yes, Sydney we have limes and salt in England” he said, and I hopped off the counter to help her.

“Do you think Carmy hates him because he’s tall?” I asked her, my first drink already making me more honest and this leads Marcus and Syd to both crack up laughing

“Yo he would be piiissed if he heard her right now” Marcus laughs and I giggled

“It’s true!! Luca my boyfriend must be jealous of your height” I said and he laughed as well, shaking his head

“You are something. I’m seeing here how you and him work. You give em a run for his money I’m guessing” he said and I shrugged, grinning a bit.

“He said that was you. That working with you made him more motivated because for the first time since culinary school he felt someone could have beat him, so he had to learn how to be better and make it look easy so you panicked and he said it worked- also you have funny eyebrows I love them” I giggled and Syd sets a shot in front of each of us

“And you are very talkative, I see who’s the extrovert for your relationship” he joked “also, thank you? I think? I’ve been told” he smiled a bit and Syd put down the plate of cut lime slices.

“Hands” she said and I offered her my hand while Luca said

“With what?” And her, Luca, and Marcus stared at eachother for a moment before they cracked up

“Dude” she said and shook her head “give me your hand, idiot” she joked, taking his hand and he smiled adorably, cheeks painted a cute shade of pink and -

Holy shit. He totally likes her. He wants her!

“Syd I have to pee- also get my face on. Are you coming?” I said and took my shot quickly, licking the back of my hand and biting my wedge of lime “sure” she said and took her, dragging her by her sleeve to the bathroom and shutting the door

“Okay - uh- what’s up?” She said as I shut the toilet lid and sat

“He wants you” I said and she raised her brows, clearly confused

“Marcus? I already told you I’m not-“

“Luca. Sexy tall British man? Looks like he should be in vogue? Yeah, that he. And he totally wants your ass! You have to fuck him and tell me if he’s-“ she quickly covered my mouth, laughing as she shushes me

“Jesus! Winnie! You are loud!!” She said and I giggled

“Okay well- tell me if he’s hung” I told her quieter when she took her hand off and she shook her head, giggling and flushing the toilet behind me to make it sound like we didn’t just come in here to gossip.

“Yeah we’ll see about that, I think 3 shots is enough for you.” She teased. I got ready quickly, changing into the little black dress I had borrowed to Syd a while ago that seemed to fit much snugger now that Carmy had been feeding me so well.

When I opened the door and made my way back to see the guys and Syd talking about some candy dessert thing that Luca had been working on and I grab my phone their conversation having brought something to mind

“Syd- can we make this sometime? Carmy is too busy” I showed her the candied fruit with the yummy looking crunchy coating on it. She frowned a bit, shrugging

“Yes of course we can- but why would Carmy be too busy? Is he acting like that to you all the time, win?” She asked and I shook my head.

“Not yelling- just…not paying attention at least not like he used to. I think we’re going through a dry spell, ya know?” I shrug and sip on my mixed drink I still hadn’t finished.

“A dry spell?” She chuckles “what are you- 55?” I blushed and shrug

“Lets just go out! Ok! Fuck him he didn’t wanna come so let’s not talk about him. Let’s have fun something he doesn’t know how to do” I said and ordered the Uber for us on the app.

By the time we got to the club, I had found that Luca is very funny, and also very fun- and he also didn’t have a bad taste in music. I could see why Carmy was jealous of him back when they used to work together, even though he physically leaves little to be jealous of at all, but I knew he didn’t give a shit about what was going on in other people’s heads. At least, he didn’t think about it too often since he was so lost in his own.

“What are we drinking?” Marcus asks as we head in “I got first round” he added and we all piped up then, causing him to roll his eyes playfully “funny, everyone can make a decision when a wallet comes out. I’ll be back” he said and made his way up to the bar after he got our orders.

“I’m gonna be right back” I told Syd and squeezed her arm, making my way around the room until I found someone who looked like they sold.

“Hiii!” I said kindly and showed them the 50 I had folded in my hand “got something?” I asked and she nods

“Need an 8?” She replied and I nodded, grabbing the bag when she went to ‘shake my hand’ and she took the money.

“Been a pleasure, have a good night” I made my way to the bathroom and locked the door behind me, tightly rolling up a single I had and doing a line off the back of the sink before putting the little baggie in my bra and giggling as I feel the warm rush of relaxation and confidence wash over me. I hadn’t been able to party like this since before Carmy and I started dating.

It didn’t make him the happiest to know that I previously dabbled in drugs, but I only did it sometimes, very rarely. Plus, what does Carmen know about a party? Nothing. So his opinion on this specific matter holds no water. I wiped off the bottom of my nose and fixed my lipgloss before making my way back out to the group. “Let’s dance bitches!!” I said excitedly pulling Syd l and Sadie with me to the dance floor and Marcus and luca followed suit .

I didn’t get back home until around 3 head pounding from the comedown and a cracked phone screen, I wasn’t even really sure how that happened. Luca had to carry me up the stairs because I kept stumbling and he handled his liquor far better then I did. I also found that he was a fabulous dancing partner. “Gnight !! Sexy British chef dude I’ll see youuuuu-“ I point, looking up at him “when that thing”

“The Ever funeral dinner, yes darling. Now you should go get some rest yeah? Where are your keys?” He asked and I shrug, leaning against the door “dunno. Carmy should maybe be home” I said and knock on the door “Carmy!!” I call through the door and knock again and heard shuffling and the door opened

“Where the fuck have you been baby-“ he pulled me into a hug, shutting the door

“Hey !! Don’t be rude didn’t you even say hey!” I said and he looks at me confused

“How much have you had to drink, say hey to who you? Hey. Now why do you look high” he grabs my face, observing my blown out wide pupils

“Say hi to Luca your frienddd. Bye Luca!!” I call through the door not having realized he snuck away since he didn’t want to deal with Carmen questioning why he was holding up his girlfriend who was so inibreated she could barely stand and was high as a kite on south side coke.

” N’yeah Cause m’high” I yawn “kinda. Think I have a little left though m’saving it.” I said without thinking and head off to the bedroom, shedding my shoes and dress in a trail behind me as I go

“High on what” he followed and I lay down, not even really listening anymore, the only thing filling my mind was that I was overstimulated and exhausted.

“M‘not high” I lie after a few moments when I realize what he said and rolled on my stomach, getting comfy under the covers.

“Winnie what did you do?” He comes over, sitting down next to me and rubbing my back lightly “what did you take, baby. Tell me” he said and I look up at him

“Alcohol” I said and he nodded

“And?” He urges me to continue and I shake my head.

“Do I have to look through your shit babe, really” he huffs and rubs his face “I don’t have fucking time Winnie!” He said frustratedly.

And that was when I snapped, I couldn’t find where he got off, judging me and what I did at parties. Especially when he could hardly give a fuck about what I was doing, apparently unless I was waiting at home for him like a sad puppy, just for him to shower and collapse next to me with nothing but a “g’night hun’”

“Can you leave me the fuck alone? Jesus Christ Carmen! It doesn’t fucking matter. I bought an 8th of coke and did a few fucking lines! Are you happy? Now can I go to bed? because I’m fucking human and need sleep. I know That concept is foreign to you. Get out of my face what did you say yesterday? Oh- I don’t need the bullshit. Go to work or something.” I snap, over tired, over hungry, and with a now what was turning into a migraine “bad enough I’m gonna have to fuckin babysit you at that dinner Friday” I mumble and he got up, heading back to the kitchen for which I was grateful, but not without a muttered ‘what the fuck ever.’ Act like an asshole, get treated like an asshole would be my behavior going forward. If he wanted to play ball, so can I.

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋘ 𝐖𝐈𝐏 ♡♡♡ ⋙

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holdmytesseract · 7 hours

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moodboard by @mochie85 | divider by @fictive-sl0th <3

Summary: It's been a long time coming... But now the day for you and Loki to say 'Yes' and enter the bond of marriage has finally arrived. A covenant for eternity.

Chapter Zero - Counting the days until I can make you mine...

Warnings for this Chapter: none besides fluff

Word Count: 1,4k

a/n: We finally kick off the Baby Fever wedding! Ahhhh, I'm BEYOND excited! 🥳 HUGE thanks to every wonderful person who has been a part of this story! You've been fantastic! All your ideas and endless creativity. The love you gave and still give this AU... I am blessed! 🙏🏼 I loved working with y'all! 🤍

Now... Without further ado... Enjoy the first chapter!

Baby Fever Masterlist °☆• A Covenant for Eternity Masterlist (coming soon!)

You were standing in front of the stove inside the big communal kitchen of the Avengers compound; baking your world famous chocolate caramel cupcakes. Everybody loved the sweet treat. Even Nick.

It was a little gesture from you - and Loki - who actually wanted to help you, in order to show your gratitude towards everybody who helped you organise your wedding. With Natasha leading the way as your maid of honour and of course Thor as Loki's best man.

Currently you were preparing the caramel cream; humming along to the music which blasted through the over-ear headphones on your head. Since turning sugar into caramel took its time, you definitely needed some entertainment. If you only knew where your soon-to-be husband was...

Once you had added the cream to the caramel and kept on stirring the mixture inside the pot to Taylor Swift's '22', you couldn't help but move to the tones. But once the next song came on, your heart skipped not just one beat... With your eyes widening and lips parting into a big, dreamy smile, you immediately recognised that Spotify just decided to hit you with one of the two songs you were going to have your wedding dance to with Loki - wonderful memories to me made.

The coordinated stirring turned into aimless scratching across the bottom of the pot as your thoughts drifted off; reminiscing in the past and creating the future.

"Which constellation is that over there, my love?" Your gaze followed the direction Loki pointed to. "Uhh..." You frowned in concentration, "I think that should be Cassiopeia - but..." and squinted your eyes. "Something isn't right..." "What do you mean, love?" "There's a star in the constellation that shouldn't be there... Cassiopeia looks like a 'W', but... there's a star too much. It doesn't belong there." Loki let out a short gasp of realisation. "Ahh you mean that one star on the top left corner?" "Yes! Can you see it? Why is it there? This actually can't be..." A knowing smile crept up Loki's face. "Well, about that, I think I have an answer for that." You blinked at your boyfriend in confusion. "You have?" He nodded and sat up, before he summoned some magic. "Look up, my love." You were still confused, but did what Loki said, looked back at the wrong star constellation - and gasped. "W-What is happening now?" The extra star had started to shine brightly all of a sudden and with a snap of Loki's fingers, it... sunk down? Straight towards the two of you. Your eyes widened, as you grabbed on the God's forearm. "L-Lokes, what's... What's that? What's happening?!" Loki just smiled, with the star getting closer and closer. "Lokiiii!" The closer it came, the smaller it got, which left you even more confused. But you soon noticed, that it actually wasn't a star... It was something different... Something shiny... You watched with awe, as the 'star' flew straight into Loki's opened palm. It was a... ring with a shining green emerald on top? You had been so utterly fascinated by the spectacle above you, that you didn't recognise that your boyfriend had gotten on one knee beside you, neither that he was dressed in an all-black suit now. Your brain tried to process what was happening and when you had connected the dots, your eyes widened... A ring. Loki, wearing a suit, kneeling in front of you. This was a proposal.

Your smile even widened as the song led you down memory lane; causing you to experience Loki's proposal all over again.

Loki smiled softly and gave your hand a gentle squeeze. "That was the start of everything... We talked a lot, met up in the library to read together, went on dates and at some point... You just kissed me. The rest is history. I had never been happier in my life, than I am with you now. I spent my whole life searching for a meaning - a glorious purpose... And then I realised, that you are what I was always searching for. You are my glorious purpose, Y/N. You showed me a whole new world. A world filled with love and kindness. You have given this new world to me and now I want to ask you, if you'd like to become my world..." The God took another deep breath, before he popped the question. "Y/N Y/L/N, would you do me the honour to make you entirely and for always mine? Will you marry me?"

You were sunken so deep in the song and the memories, that you didn't notice Loki entering the communal kitchen.

"Apologies, my love, I know I am late, but Rogers-" The god already rumbled out an apology, only to freeze in his motion as he realised a few seconds later that you were totally lost in your thoughts. He could tell. Must be some very good thoughts, Loki noted and decided to approach you gently.

He tiptoed over to the stove and kitchen counter; coming to stand behind you. Loki lurked over your shoulder; gazing from your smiling face down to the almost burnt caramel cream and back up to you. He hated to rip you out of your seemingly wonderful daydream, but he had to, right?

Slowly wrapping one arm around your waist, Loki lifted one shell of the headphones. "I apologise for interrupting your daydream, my love, but you should really keep on stirring this sugary treat."

His mouth so close to your ear; the hot breath leaving his lips and his deep, but gentle voice did the trick and ripped you out of your thoughts.

You flinched slightly; blinking rapidly, "Loki?" before your brain managed to caught up. "Oh shit!" You yelped up and quickly stirred the caramel cream, all the while reducing the heat.

Loki chuckled from behind you; wrapping both his arms around your waist and pulling you closer against his body. "Apologies, darling, but I just had to..." You sighed; blushing. "Thank you, babe... I-I, uh, got lost in my thoughts." Loki's chest vibrated with another chuckle, "I noticed." before he pressed a kiss against your neck. "What were you thinking about? You looked so happy."

The mere mention caused you to smile again. "You, of course." "Me?" "Mhh..." You manoeuvred the pot from the stove and turned in Loki's embrace. "Spotify decided to hit me with 'Can't Help Falling in Love' and well... Since our wedding is still yet to come, it took me to the very evening you proposed to me."

The god couldn't help but smile as well. He pressed his forehead against yours; thumbs caressing the clothed skin of your lower back. "I love to return to this memory of ours. I could swear that I still see the sparkle in your eyes. The beautiful look on your face when you said 'Yes' will be forever carved into my mind."

You nodded. "Just like I will never forget the way you asked the question. You in that suit, with the ring resting in your palm..." You quickly glanced at your hand, which was laying on Loki's shoulder; your engagement ring shining in the sun. "... and you down on your knee in front of me..."

Mischief suddenly twinkled in your fiancé's eyes, as the corners of his lips lifted. "You can have me down on my knees for you anytime, love." You gasped at his very ambiguous comment, "Lokiii!" and gently slapped his shoulder. "I was being so romantic and then you just pull it on the dirty side!" The god just giggled, "Apologies, my love, but I couldn't let this opportunity slip." and dipped his head to kiss you.

"No, but honestly, darling... I meant what I said. I love to return to this moment." You smiled; kissing him again.

"Remember when we told my parents?" Loki asked then after a short moment of silence. "Oh, yes, of course. Frigga was so happy..." Loki snorted out a small, happy laugh. "She cried of happiness." You nodded. "She did."

Another beat of silence passed.

"I can't wait to marry you, Prince Loki Laufeyson of Asgard."

Loki lifted a hand to softly cup your cheek. "And I can't wait to marry you, Y/N Y/L/N, queen of my heart." He gazed into your eyes; smiling, before he abruptly stepped out of your embrace. "But before I make you my wife, I'm going to help you bake those delicious cupcakes."

Baby Fever Crew: @muddyorbsblr @mochie85 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @jaidenhawke @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @multifandom-worlds @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @jennyggggrrr @fictive-sl0th @herdetectivetheorist @hisredheadedgoddess28 @chennqingg @princess-ofthe-pages @km-ffluv @huntedmusicgardenn @brokenpoetliz @lokiforever @stupidthoughtsinwriting @loz-3 @icytrickster17 @jaguarthecat @eleniblue @yourfriendlyslytherinhc @mypainischronicbutmyassisiconic @kimanne723 @smolvenger @lou12346789 @lokisrealpurpous @isaidoop @aagn360 @cakesandtom @lokisgoodgirl @alexakeyloveloki @glitchquake (Continuing in the comments!)

#the baby fever au #the baby fever wedding #loki x reader #loki #loki laufeyson #loki x female reader #loki fanfiction #loki x you #tom hiddleston x reader #loki fluff #loki x y/n #loki laufeyson x reader

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writingsbyzuzu · 16 hours

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dude id love to see another part ORRRRR another version of “us.”

but its your blog and you should feel comfortable doing whatever tf you want with it lmfao

so high school

you and ethan have been together a while, and life is pretty good, you'd think

until ethan announces something absolutely insane.

the last main installment of the blame schlatt universe!! (i can write more about side plots but this is the last of the main plot)

notes: ethan nestor x fem! reader, j schlatt x fem! reader (dude still wants you), you have to suspend your belief for part of this because ethan and schlatt are different heights...so pretend ethan is taller or something, jenna marbles makes an appearance because i miss her, i didn't proofread, I did it all in one go

be gentle i've never written smut EVER

and yeah, maybe the ending is corny but these two FUCKING DESERVE IT, FIGHT ME

warnings: actual smut in this one, possessive sex (ethan becomes a bit of a fucking freak), reader has a panic attack but there's not a big description of it, schlatt never stops being a dickhead on god, ethan beats the shit out of schlatt, who said that not me

based on 'so high school' by taylor swift

I feel so high school every time I look at you I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you

Ethan wanted you to feel special all the time. It didn't matter that the two of you had been together well over a year now, the relationship still made him feel as lightheaded and happy as the day you had asked for his number.

So he went out of his way to do special things for you. Like he was doing right now, standing in the Trader Joe's by your apartment, picking out flowers in your favorite colors.

However, this wasn't just a regular bouquet like his usual "making my girlfriend feel special" bouquets, this was going to unfortunately be a "please don't be pissed at me" bouquet. Because Ethan was going to announce something at your housewarming party that he knew was going to piss you off.

So he picked out various flowers in a variety of your favorite flowers, and snacks that he knew were your favorite, before getting in his car and heading home.

Your new home, actually. You two had decided an apartment was too small for Spencer and the other various animals you had adopted together, and wanting to take a big traditional step together for once, bought a house together.

Tonight was your housewarming party, and Ethan, as nervous as he was about his announcement, had been putting off telling you as long as he could. But the official announcement was tomorrow, and better him tell you than the internet, right?

He makes the bouquet before entering the house, carefully wrapped. You come out from the kitchen with Spencer, grinning from ear to ear. "Baby! What's this?"

He holds it out for you, reciprocating your smile. How could he not when your smile made him so happy?

And in a blink of a crinkling eye I'm sinking, our fingers entwined

You wrap your arms around him, giving him a soft kiss. "You didn't have to," you smile again, before taking it and heading to the kitchen.

"Babe, how many times do I have to say it, I do it because I want to." He leans against the kitchen counter, watching you put his flowers in a vase. "You are the best girlfriend on the planet, and I want to have the best for the best," he says it like he's said it a million times before, which he honestly had at that point.

"Being with you is the best," you respond, tucking in a stray flower. With that, Ethan pushes himself off the counter and wraps his arms around you, leaning over to kiss your cheek from behind.

"What help are you going to need from me?"

"Help me prep the food, everything else is ready to go."

Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me

The housewarming party had been well underway, with your various friends standing around talking, you were standing with Amy and Jenna in the backyard, talking. "How long have you been with Ethan now, anyways?" Jenna asks. "A year and three months," you tell her, blushing slightly. "How did you get together? It was like one minute Ethan was ranting to us about how he just wanted you to date him, just friends, and the next he was pretty much living with you," Amy laughs.

Your face gets even redder, before squeaking out an "I don't think we need to tell that story." Ethan approaches, having overheard the last part of the conversation, then wraps his arm around you. "That one is classified, but I can tell you about the first time I saw her."

"Oh this aught to be good, he's never told me before." you laugh.

"Well never mind then, if you're just going to make fun of me," he teases back, before kissing you.

"Too cute," Amy giggles, and Jenna joins her.

I'll drink what you think, and I'm high From smoking your jokes all damn night

Ethan was more of a charmer at parties than he lets on, and you loved it. He always knew how to make everyone comfortable and had people laughing constantly. As you flitted between various people at the party, he was usually on the other side of the yard, conversing with someone who was laughing at his joke.

You see someone at the backyard gate, and as you head over, you see that it's Ted.

The brink of a wrinkle in time Bittersweet sixteen suddenly

You furrow your brows at the sight, heading over before Ethan could see.

"Ted. What are you doing here?"

His face lights up at seeing you. Before you and Schlatt broke up, you were actually really great friends with Ted. Even closer than he and Schlatt were, and while he was sad you broke up, he was delighted when he found out you had moved to LA. But you hadn't reached out to him after. You didn't want to cause a rift between the two friends.

"Hey, I heard you guys got a house, so I got you a present." He lifts up his arm to show a bag, handing to you over the fence. "I remember how you used to decorate your place, so I looked all over for something that matches your style."

"Thanks, Teddy." He beams at the familiar nickname. "Want to come into the yard?" You gesture, but the smile quickly fades from his face.

"Actually, I need to tell you something, it's kind of urgent, it's about Ethan." Your smile in turn, wipes from your face, and your brows furrow once again.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going to guess he didn't tell you, but they're going to announce it tomorrow, I wanted to warn you, he's-"

He was interrupted by Ethan coming to the fence. "Ted Nivison! How can we help you, man?" Ethan had an unreadable expression on his face, his arm wrapping around you, almost pulling you back.

Ted freezes, before the fakest smile you had ever seen on him appears. "Oh, I just wanted to drop off a gift for my friend." He shoots you a pointed look.

"Well it's good to see you man." Ethan, in turn, offers an equally plastic smile, before stating "We should get back to the party. We are hosting after all." He turns the two of you around heading back the party. You shoot one last look at Ted, who holds his phone up to you and mouths "text me later". He turns and walks back to his truck.

"That was weird babe," Ethan laughs. "Yeah...weird."

I'm watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night Your friends are around, so be quiet I'm trying to stifle my sighs 'Cause I feel so high school every time I look at you

You push the interaction to the back of your mind, to make a mental note to ask Ted later what he meant.

For the most part, the party continues as normal, and while you tried to analyze if something was going on with Ethan, it didn't really seem like much was happening. Sure he seemed a little nervous, but as charming as Ethan was, everyone knew he was also kind of shy and socially anxious.

Which is why you definitely could not predict what happened next.

Ethan grabs one of the chairs set out, and stands on it, holding his cup. "Could I have everyone's attention?"

The 35 or so people turn to look at Ethan, yourself included. He looks around at everyone with a grin. "I just wanted to say a few things. Firstly, on behalf of myself, and my wonderful, wonderful girlfriend, thank you for coming to our housewarming party. It's amazing that you all would come to support us as we take this step. And to the previously mentioned girlfriend..."

Everyone looks at you, but you just kept looking at Ethan, smiling.

"We may have had a really...untraditional way of doing things, but the night you danced with me and asked me for my number, was the best night of my life. The first time I saw you, I fell in love with you, and everything since then has felt like a weird dream that I'm grateful I haven't woken up from. I love you."

The crowd of friends lets out a collective awe, and you blow him a kiss.

"I also...kind of have an announcement." Immediate murmurs break out, and confusion begins to dawn on you.

Are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me? (Kill me) It's just a game, but really (really) I'm bettin' on all three for us two (all three)

"I am participating in the next Creator Clash in three month's time!"

Immediate cheers break out, as your friends get excited. You let out a breath you weren't aware you were holding. That was what Ted was worried about? Why would you care? Ethan had boxed at the last Creator Clash, and did more than just fine for himself.

Unless...

"Who are you fighting?" Mark calls out, a pointed look on his face before briefly glimpsing at you, and every realization clicks in place for you.

Oh no. Oh no no no. This had to be a nightmare right? Was Ethan trying to kill you? There was no way, right? No possible fucking way that-

"It's uh. It's J Schlatt," Ethan says.

The color drains from your face. He turns to look at you, but you just shook your head in disbelief. He could not be serious with you.

Fighting your ex boyfriend? Is Ethan serious right now?

You slip from the crowd, going back inside your house. On the one hand, you understood that this was a charity event, of course Ethan would want to participate, especially because he loved participating in the last one.

On the other hand, the love of your life was about to fight the man who you thought once was the love of your life, in front of the internet. Surely, that was going to make big waves that were not in your favor. The only thing the two of them had in common was you, and you're sure the event was going to play that right up.

No wonder Ted wanted to warn you. Especially since it would be announced tomorrow...oh god. Had Ethan waited until the last moment on purpose to tell you?

You lean against the pantry door, sinking down until you were sitting, putting your head in between your knees. This was going to be insane.

"He didn't know how to tell you." You were too busy in your panic mode to notice Mark had come in, but he was leaning on the counter watching you.

"He wanted to, but he didn't know how to tell you. I mean. How was there a good way of telling you, right?" Mark makes his best Ethan impression. "Oh, hey honey, I'm going to box your ex live in front of thousands of people."

He watches you for a moment, no response coming from you, no movement other than your jagged breaths trying to calm yourself.

"That's why Ted came over, wasn't it?" he asks.

For the first time in minutes, you move, nodding your head.

"Ethan wasn't happy about that. I told him, if he didn't want someone else telling you, he should tell you. Course it sucks how he did it, but... do you need water?"

You nod again. He walks over to the cabinet, grabs a glass, and pours you a cup of water. You chug it down, before saying "I should probably lie low off the internet for a while, huh?"

"I don't think you should have to hide because some fanboys think you're some kind of..."

"Slut?"

Mark winces at the word, but nods none the less.

"What happened isn't your fault. You're allowed to date whoever you want. Your relationship was long over when you started dating Ethan. You might have made a few mistakes between him and Ethan, but that doesn't mean you should hide. You worked hard for what you got, and I see how happy you make him. It sucks what he did, but you should give him some grace. When you're ready to, that is. I'd also understand if you stayed pissed at him for a minute. Have a good night, kiddo. Amy's waiting for me in the car." He ruffles your hair, taking his exit as your breathing becomes more steady.

You stand up, deciding to take a hot shower and head to bed, feeling exhausted. You can see Ethan standing in the yard, giving the rest of the guests their farewells, and turn back to continue going to the bathroom.

Julian and Jenna hug Ethan, before Jenna tells Ethan, "Tell her I hope she feels better, if she needs to talk to me, I'm here." Ethan nods, and Julian gives him another hug. "See you, man."

Ethan is finally alone in the backyard, and lets out a sigh of relief. That part was over. Now time to face you. He heads back into the house, and Spencer pads over to greet him. "Hey buddy. Where's your mom?" Ethan asks, giving the dog some scratches.

He decides to wait for you in your room, and after around twenty minutes, you enter, in your pjs. You don't even look at Ethan, and a queasy feeling enters his stomach. He can't recall a time when you were ever really angry at him. Other than when Schlatt came around that one day almost a year ago, things were picture perfect.

"Babe," he begins. "I don't want to talk about it right now, Ethan."

"Well I do. I know it upsets you, but it's for a good cause-"

"You could have picked anyone to fight, Ethan. Anyone. But you're fighting my ex? Are you serious? You know how Ian and Anisa are going to frame this."

You didn't feel that strongly personally about Ian and his wife, but you understood that the last Creator Clash didn't earn enough, so they were going to play up things by any means possible.

"I'm sorry. Baby, I'm sorry. I...I know it's going to bring some hate down on you, but I'll be there for you. It's just an event, and in six months the internet will forget about it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you one on one. You deserved better than that. But I saw Ted, and I heard him trying to tell you, and I panicked. I'm sorry." Ethan watches as you brush your hair.

"You owe me, Nestor." You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, as he watches your every movement.

"I know honey...besides. I think it'll be fun to knock his lights out."

Your face morphs from upset to laughter, giggling at his statement flopping onto the bed. "That would be fun."

"Oh, I'm looking forward to it." He props himself on one arm, facing towards you, his head leaning over you.

You touch his cheek, gently stroking it. "I just don't want him to hurt you."

"It'll be okay. I won't let anything like that happen. Not to brag, but I did win last time, remember?" He gives you a small kiss.

You nod at his words. Usually people aren't very good at reassuring you, but Ethan has always been different.

Get my car door, isn't that sweet? (That sweet) Then pull me to the backseat (backseat) No one's ever had me (had me), not like you

He leans over to whisper in your ear. "I won't let anything happen to you, either."

"Promise?" "Promise."

"Okay," you sigh, "but you owe me for such anguish." Ethan nods, letting out a small laugh. He eyes you for a minute, before slowly leaning in and kissing you again.

When you break, he lets out a soft hum, before rolling to be on top of you. "Believe it or not, I think I have an idea of making it up to you," he whispers.

"Let's see it," you murmur in response, and Ethan kisses you again, his hand sneaking up under your old t-shirt to hold your waist.

Your hands reach up hold him, sneaking into his hair and pushing him closer to you. He shifts from your lips to your neck, kissing it gently, before sucking on a small patch below your jaw. "You gotta be patient," he chuckles.

He sits up, pulling off his shirt, and suddenly the kisses get more intense, his hand pulling up your shirt. His mouth feels hot on your skin, and he's kissing it almost feverishly, not letting you get a move in. When your shirt inevitably comes off, he expands his kissing territory to your chest.

Your phone buzzes repeatedly.

"Baby," you whisper. He hums in response, sucking a hickey right above your tits. "I need to check what that is."

"Pay attention to me," Ethan whines, "I'm trying to make it up to you." His hands grasp at your pajama pants, going to pull it down.

You look at your phone anyways, wanting to see what the commotion was about.

7 missed messages from Ted.

ted: he's fighting schlatt at creator clash

ted: schlatt is saying he's doing it to prove

ted: prove that he's better than ethan

ted: he's gonna try to beat the shit out ethan for you

ted: you gotta tell ethan to back down he's serious

ted: schlatt wants you back by any means necessary

Your reading is interrupted by Ethan grabbing the phone to read it.

"What is so important that you didn't care I took off your-" He freezes at reading the messages. He's angry in a way you've only seen him once.

"The fucking- that fucking- that fucker," Ethan finally lands on a coherent thought, his nostrils flaring.

"He thinks he's better than me?" He looks at you, a manic look appearing on his features. "That what, he'll punch me and you'll come running back? We have a house together, you're my girlfriend."

"Baby, he's delusional, he just wants to stir shit up," you touch his face.

"Yeah, and I'm not backing down. You're mine, and I'm better. And I'm going to prove it." The manic look doesn't leave his face, but hell, it was kind of turning you on.

His lips were on yours before you could even blink, and his front teeth sink into your bottom lip. You moan, and he moves back to your neck, sucking harshly.

His hand slithers to your panties, gently touching you through the cloth.

"Gosh, I was going to take my time, but you're wet already," Ethan says, his eyes wide in an exaggerated manner, his tone almost borderline mocking you.

He pulls your panties to the side, actually touching you. You let out a soft moan as he moves his finger up and down, before sliding it into you rather quickly.

Before you even have a chance to moan, Ethan has his mouth on yours again, his thumb moving to gently brush against your clit while he fingers you.

He separates his mouth for a moment, looking at you again with that wide eye look. "Are you gonna pay fucking attention if I take your panties off this time?" You nod frantically.

He removes his finger from you, and within seconds had practically ripped your panties off you with his other hand.

"Look at you," he murmurs, one hand holding your face, the manic look fading from him at last. Ethan moves his hand back down, gently touching your clit. When you let out a soft moan, he says it.

"My girlfriend. Because I'm the better man." And with that, the manic look returns. He shifts down, putting his mouth up against your clit. Your hands go to his hair, gripping tight as he begins to suck and lick.

"I'm fucking better," he mumbles after coming up for air. His fingers danced around your entrance. "Say it. Say it and I'll make it up to you."

"Ethan," you plead, your legs rubbing the sheets. "Say it."

"You're better. And you're gonna fucking win."

Ethan made it up to you pretty quickly after that.

Truth, dare, spin bottles You know how to ball, I know Aristotle Brand new, full-throttle Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto

You had to give Ethan credit. He was practicing harder than anyone you had seen practice for anything. The past few months had passed quickly, and the match was getting closer and closer.

You had tried to ignore the promotional stuff on social media, but man, did Schlatt talk a lot of shit.

Anytime he was streaming, he would talk about you and Ethan, about how clearly, he needed to beat Ethan's ass and show you "who the real winner is". Which of course, led to comments on your stream.

You were streaming playing GTA with Ted and Jarvis (who were over the moon that you had opened friendship back up to them), and of course, Schlatt joins the chat.

jschlatt: doll, i cant wait for u to ditch the loser

"Considering you're out here commenting on my stream like a fucking pussy instead of shit talking my boyfriend to his fucking face, I already think you're the loser, Schlutt." Ted laughs, and then Schlatt leaves another message.

jschlatt: i know you miss me

Ethan had come into the office, looking for his shirt that he had left there earlier before practice. Half drenched in sweat, he walked behind you. "Babe, have you seen my t-shirt?"

He sees you streaming and goes "Oh! Sorry baby." He gives you a sweet smile before coming to you and giving you a kiss on the cheek. You look up at him, dazzled by just how good he looked despite the sweat. He looks at the chat. "Oh. I see Schlatt's here. Buddy, stop trying to shit talk me to my girl. You'll fight me soon."

It's true, swear, scouts honor You knew what you wanted and boy, you got her Brand new, full-throttle You already know, babe

Woah. You weren't sure who this guy was, and what he did with your mild mannered boyfriend, who was not a public shit talker by any means. He looked at you, just beaming at him.

"I mean, look at her. She's in love with me."

He gives you one last kiss, giving your chat a goodbye, and leaves your shared office.

Ethan wasn't actually worried about Schlatt stealing you. Schlatt had destroyed the relationship, and besides you had more than proved you adored Ethan.

What he really wanted was for Schlatt to back off and leave the two of you alone. Ethan really just wanted to have his peaceful life with you. He had you, the girl he wanted, but Schlatt was still a roadblock over a year later. He was sick of it.

So he was going to beat the shit out of Schlatt, so he could finally, finally have some semblance of a normal life with you.

I feel like laughing in the middle of practice Do that impression you did of your dad again I'm hearing voices like a madman

One week out, and he was sparring with Mark as practice.

You were a little worried, you weren't going to lie. By all accounts from Ted, Schlatt had now put in the hours of work, and it was showing. Ethan did not necessarily have a sure shot at victory, but man was he trying.

You were sitting on a bench, watching Mark and Ethan spar (he wanted you there for support) over and over again.

"Let's take a break," Mark pants, and Ethan nods. He waddles over to the bench, sitting down next to you.

"What do you think baby?" He eyes you, scooting closer. "You're doing great, hun." You smile at him, trying not to show your nerves.

Ethan knows you better than that though. "What's wrong?" You sigh, not wanting to talk about it, but you knew you had to. "I just...I don't understand why you have to do this. What does fighting my ex boyfriend gain?"

"Well, he's convinced fighting will win you over, and I want to show him wrong."

"This isn't Medieval Times, Ethan, y'all aren't dueling over a princess!"

"I know that...Also I don't think that's what the Medieval Times show is about."

There's a long quiet, and Ethan takes a sip of his water.

"I want to have a family with you," he murmurs. "And I can't do that if he keeps popping up. And yeah, maybe it's an ego thing. But if it's what I need, to face him myself, in order to get over it, will you let me?"

"We already are a family, Ethan."

He takes off the gloves, and the two of you sit in silence once more.

"Well. If only we had had this conversation a while ago," he jokes.

You laugh, and Ethan grins. "I don't like when we fight," he whispers. "I don't either."

"Look E, you can fight him if you want. A lot of people depend on you, and it's for charity. But know that no matter what he does, no matter what he says, you and I are already a family."

He wraps you in a sweaty hug, and you laugh and shriek.

And in a blink of a crinkling eye I'm sinking, our fingers entwined Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights

It was the day.

The crowd was buzzing, full of energy as people filtered into seats, the lights blazing. You sat in a bunch with Mark, Amy, Julian, Jenna, and Sean (you and Ethan had long ago talked things out with him).

You had gone to Ethan's dressing room fifteen minutes prior.

He grinned at seeing you, jumping up to give you a hug. "You look so good!" you exclaim, kissing his cheek. "Thank you baby." He squeezes you, before letting go.

You had a funny thought, and in the true form of your relationship, blurted it out.

"Wouldn't it be kind of funny if you fingered me right now and use that same hand to punch him in his face?"

His jaw drops and you give him a pat on the arm. "Mark's waiting for me, knock 'em dead honey. Love you." And with that, you left, as unceremoniously as you entered.

Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me I'll drink what you think, and I'm high From smoking your jokes all damn night

They were doing prematch interviews. "So apparently, all this for a girl, huh, Ethan?" Charlie asks, Ethan stretching and rolling his head.

"She's not just some girl. The first time I saw her...It was over for me."

You huff, a smirk on your face. You swore, he was going to go to the grave with the full story. But then he looks up at where you're sitting, and he continues.

"It was five years ago. Right before she started dating...him. It was some fucking convention. She was dressed in, and I will never forget this, a black dress with lace, and she had pink flowers in her hair. I was looking for Mark, because I had lost him, somewhere, and the crowd parted, and there she was, smack in the middle of my eyes. I asked her for directions and gave her some corny joke. And that laugh, man. It was like being in the presence of a mermaid. Siren's call. And I knew that was my future wife. So she's not just some girl."

The interview continues, but you were just too dazed to even really pay attention. How could you, when the love of your life finally gave you something you wanted? God, you loved that man.

The brink of a wrinkle in time Bittersweet sixteen suddenly

But then it was time for the two of them to get into the ring. You grabbed Sean's arm, begin to panic. "Oh my god, what if he gets his ass kicked? Oh my fucking god, he's going to brawl my ex in front of the internet and all these people." You fidget with your skirt with the other hand.

"Hey hey hey, it's going to be alright," Sean says.

I'm watching American Pie with you on a Saturday night Your friends are around, so be quiet I'm trying to stifle my sighs

You start to panic at the actual thought of a fight, of Ethan being hurt. "Hey is she alright?" you hear Ted's voice from several seats behind you, but Mark motions at him to sit down.

"It's alright, we've got it," Mark tells him. Mark opens a water bottle and Amy holds it up to you.

"Take a sip, you'll feel better," Sean says, but you aren't convinced. You drink anyways, having a silent prayer as they prepare for the fight.

'Cause I feel so high school (I feel so high school) Every time I look at you But look at you

What a spectacle this was. Your boyfriend and ex about to "fight over you" like something out of a shitty high school movie.

You tried to remember what Ethan said to comfort yourself, about how he saw you, and just saw his future wife. Unfortunately it was not helping, and everyone could see your panic.

Sean grabs your hands trying to ground you.

Down in the ring, Ethan looks for you, and spots you again, fairly quickly. He can now see your panic, and Sean trying to calm you down.

Schlatt however, also sees this, and makes a grave error.

Fully aware of what happened the night of the party, having followed you two out, and having heard the rumors, he lets something slip.

"Huh, Look at her up there with SepticEye. No wonder you need to fight me so bad. You're insecure about our girl being a slut."

Truth, dare, spin bottles (yeah) You know how to ball, I know Aristotle Brand new, full-throttle (yeah)

And with the referee starting the match, Ethan almost immediately punches Schlatt in the face.

"Call my girl a fucking slut again and I'm gonna punch your teeth out," Ethan spats out, swinging even harder.

He doesn't miss.

He doesn't continue to miss.

He was originally just going to try to have fun, remembering what you said, and your fight. But Schlatt had to open his fucking mouth and insult you.

Yeah, you made mistakes. But you were the girl of Ethan's dreams. And how could he let anyone disrespect you?

So he gave the fight every iota of energy he had, and man, did the experience wear off.

He beats Schlatt easily, without even hesitation.

Touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto It's true, swear, scouts honor (yeah) You knew what you wanted and boy, you got her

He runs out to the stands where you are the moment he is allowed to, jumping over various objects and bleachers to reach you.

Before you can even get a word in, he's cradling your face, scanning your facial features for any lingering panic.

"Are you okay? I saw you hyperventilating before we started, are you alright?"

He doesn't even care that he was supposed to do a post match interview, he just wants to make sure you were okay.

You hug him, sweat be damned, a bone crushing hug. "I love you. The moment I was in there I just wanted to get out and check on you," he cries. "Just don't ever fight my ex again in a boxing ring for the internet and thousands of people to see, I don't think my brain is built for that."

He laughs, before repeating himself. "I love you." "I love you," you say back, before pulling his face in for a kiss.

You don't look at Schlatt on the way out. Don't even notice him. You don't give a fuck, quite frankly, and just want to get your boyfriend out of his sweaty clothes.

An hour later, you're throwing Ethan his congratulations party, with your friends (yes, even Ted), and his friends all congregated in the backyard. Everyone's playing games, conversing, drinking the punch you made, overall just having a good time.

And then something unexpected happens.

You had seen Ethan and Julian go repeatedly into a corner to talk somewhere multiple times, and while you tried to brush it off, a familiar feeling enters your body.

After about the fourth time, when Ethan comes back, you stop him. "Ethan Nestor, you better not be planning to announce something outrageous again."

He gives you a soft smile, and just says "you'll see, babe."

But nothing comes of it. The party comes and goes, and people leave. As the two of you sit on the couch, reflecting on the night, Ethan clears his throat, cutting the silence.

"I have something to give you. I was going to give it to you in the dressing room, but you dipped out of there so quickly. By the way, loved your idea, shame we couldn't do it."

You both chuckle, before he smiles at you. "And I thought about it, and everything about the last few months has been put out there for everyone to look at, like a circus, so I wanted to give it to you with just us."

"What?" you quietly ask him.

"It's for you, but in the long run, it's sort of like for us? I know you already said we are a family, but this makes it...more real, in a sense. Like I said tonight, about the first time I saw you..."

The puzzle pieces click once again for you, but this time, you aren't nervous, or scared, or queasy.

He reaches for his pant pocket and pulls it out.

"I've been in love with you for five years, and every day since we've actually been together has been amazing. I didn't know quite what it was to love someone until I saw you."

He opens it.

Brand new, full-throttle (yeah) You already know, babe You already know, babe

"Will you-"

"Yes."

#jschlatt x reader #jschlatt x you #ethan nestor one shot #ethan nestor x reader #crankgameplays x reader

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