#and taking the life shaped for them by people they hate
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abyss-seer ¡ 1 day ago
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Pick A Card Reading
Before that here's a channeled song for collective.
What change is radically transforming your life?
Welcome to today's tarot reading! I always find tarot readings enjoyable, like reading chapters from a fascinating book. Before we dive in, let's set the scene and align with today's reading. Remember, this is a timeless read, so the messages can apply whenever you come across this post.
To start, take a moment to meditate on the question, and then choose the picture that draws you in. It could be a random object in the image or just an inner nudge guiding you to a particular pile. Feel free to choose more than one pile.
This is a general reading, so take only the messages that resonate with you and leave the rest. A tarot reading offers insight or answers to your subconscious questions. It's important not to force yourself into any interpretation that doesn't feel right; readings are meant to be more about entertainment and reflection than precision.
Be mindful of not taking things personally. This is a collective reading, and while some aspects might resonate with you, others may resonate with someone else. Please take your time with this reading. These messages are intended to awaken and provide insights, so I hope you find value in them. Enjoy the journey through these reads.
With Love
Abyss Seer
Pile 1
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Pile 2
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Pile 3
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Pile 4
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________________________
Readings are here 👇🏻
Pile 1
Conformations: Stork and fox and the soup bowl story, the forked road, straight bangs, messy hair, song named Hum pagal nhi hai bhaiyaa hamara dimag kharab hai, family and parents could be significant, dead fish, being eccentric, not fit in, standing out too much in the crowd
Something in your life could be changing to move you toward a specific goal. You might be shaping into the person who attracts that long-desired opportunity or gaining access to something you've always wanted. Pile 1, there’s something you've been dreaming of for a long time—possibly a long-awaited family dream you've been on a mission to fulfill.
I'm sensing Magha nakshatra themes: maybe someone being granted access to a family business or finally receiving their share of an inheritance. You might be leading a new line or school of thought with your family members. It was your dream to see this idea come to fruition, perhaps through market success, new investors, or business registration. It feels like one family approving another.
You've likely struggled with this issue for a long time, but now you see the success of your efforts. This achievement could be very emotional for you, bringing laurels and affection from loved ones. You may have felt stuck, unable to find love or support from your loved ones. Now, I see you taking swift action toward this long-term dream. Pile 1, good luck!
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Pile 2
Confirmation: tongue twister she sells seashells on the seashore, Karla, Sarah, Coraline the horror movie, love and hate relationship, someone could refer someone as bitch and may get called back as a scum, take them with you (you could be asked to not hold grudges and take people with you, but at the same time don’t dull your own shine)
You might consider watching Pile 3 as well only if you feel called to it. There's something you've been delaying for a long time, Pile 2. Did you miss an opportunity or freedom to do something? You might be very goal-oriented, but there's some pessimism or fear of failure causing you to deviate from your goals. This could be a past pattern or bad habit repeating itself due to your current state of mind. There might be lingering anxiety about starting a new endeavor, leading to procrastination and worry about committing to new habits.
Celebrate your small achievements and start thinking positively by targeting negative thoughts and changing your thinking pattern. This cycle of self-sabotage is harmful. Avoid dwelling on those negative thoughts. Do well in life, Pile 2. You might be moving away from new friendships and people, disliking mingling with them. You could be trying to go solo to achieve your goals, leaving everything behind for yourself.
You might feel misunderstood, underappreciated, and isolated, perhaps feeling someone stole your credit. This could lead to a sense of worthlessness due to your own selflessness. I'm sorry for what you went through. Know that you deserve better friends and people around you. This might be why you want to distance yourself from new people. I'm seeing a strong feeling of self-preservation, Pile 2. Don't worry, work hard, and people will appreciate your efforts. Focus less on fair-weather friends and more on yourself. Take care, Pile 2. I feel for you and am sorry if that happened.
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Pile 3
Confirmation: Paon ki jutti (song), Sydney Sweeney, number 333, 33, foundations, Anuradha nakshatra, someone from your past,1212, Australia
"Disrespect"—some female figure feels disrespected. This is anger channeled into radicalization, literally. The Hawaiian goddess of sacred rage, Pele, is coming through. There’s a mother figure in this pile who feels hugely disrespected, abused, and is doubting her faith and duty towards the collective. This is a very radical energy. " They are becoming more agnostic after whatever has transpired". They are hating and thinking how you have lost your faith in yourself after failing so many times.
Pile 3, you are someone agnostic, and you could be in danger of crossing this empress-like figure in the wake of her rage. This person could get furious at your heartache, the pressure you're feeling, and the fear of moving forward. You can trigger them, so be careful. This empress could be getting over a huge loss in life, an investment, a semester that went down the drain, or some trigger due to "Sweet Home Sydney" (a restaurant). Be careful dealing with this mother figure they might not be in the mood to be teased, she must have lost her assets because of your failures.
You could be moving on from a heartbreaking and stressful situation and trying to get your life together. You think that you are bringing your life to balance using sharp tools(im getting someone cutting their nerves) (even a sharp tongue if necessary). You could be determined to restore balance of mind through chaos. Pile3 they are coming to pull you out of this rut and you are trying to get rid of them. This awakening and rebirth could be due to their investment drowning because of you. This is an unforgiving energy. They might feel very cold to you at start but this all for your good
This grounded person may not be in
the mood for fantasy.. Pile 3, your awakening moment is this woman who doesn't want to see you slacking off. She has been carrying many burdens, and this could be someone you collaborate with at work. She could get very angry with you, Pile 3. You need to stop staying stuck in your head. You might have taken a new start without preparing for the consequences and are still moving on, carrying emotional burdens. This will get you back on track. Whoever this female is, she might be a strict mother figure, but she will get you back on track. She will dish it out very straightforwardly. There's no going back; you better start working hard.
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Pile 4
Confirmations: 99, September, number 5 could be significant, 1313, Yee haa, cowboy, the west, Madison beer- make you mine, Flo Rida – Right Round,1616
"There's no power left in thy hand." Let me tell you something: if you take anything from someone, make sure to give them something in return or return what you took in due time. This is called borrowing. In life, nothing is taken without giving something back. This is the main motto of your reading. You may have borrowed or taken money or assets, become stingy with that money, and are not ready to give back. You could be basking in others' achievements and material gains to fund your own independence and freedom. But none of this was guaranteed for free. Be grateful for what you got for the limited time and give back.
Your mind is stuck in the thoughts of comfort without pain. Get out of this mindset. You might lose a lot in life due to fights and competitions, developing a loser’s mindset, thinking nothing is meant for you. This could lead you to take a wrong path you will regret in the long run. It's a survivor mindset, trying to run away when things get rough. Maybe there was a time you couldn’t run to safety, and now you have a survival instinct to run irrationally without seeing things clearly because you feel you cannot face the challenge. Remove that guilt. What has happened has happened. Accept your regrets for what you could not do to save yourself.
Don’t miss opportunities because of being stuck in your feelings. Use your rationality to get ahead in life. Stop wallowing in emotions. Get out of this emotional cycle and traumatic pattern. Your payback time is coming. The phrase "every dog has its day" comes to mind. You might have received an opportunity given with trust that you would return it tenfold, but you felt you didn’t deserve it. Anxiety hit when you first took it. You weren’t capable of receiving it because of a lack mindset. Then you were attacked by fake friends and your own self-hatred. You fumbled opportunities meant to move you forward.
The change that will transform your life is moving away from this toxic community. Let go of reasons to stay in a place you thought was good for you. Let go of what is not serving you. Look forward to results from your efforts and hard work. Move toward self-love and self-care, letting go of thoughts, ideas, and emotional pain from others. Proceed in life learning new skills, unafraid to express yourself and your beliefs. You are coming to balance, losing the lack and hoarding mindset, becoming more authentic. Heal yourself, learn to care for yourself, and turn controlling tendencies into self-discipline. Become a more balanced individual
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nazghcul ¡ 2 days ago
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FOR ONCE someone cared, not that he didn't have his broski and friends supporting him when it came to his music career, it felt better knowing Benny became so passionate about his music. His heart did that little dance in his chest that was felt all the way down the pit of his stomach. "Thanks for the interest babe, didn't expect you to be so supporting or even passionate about my songs. With all these copy and past versions, i feel like people mostly listen and not appreciate or give credit. Maybe i'm being a bit petty, but that shit irks me. I'm no one sticking my nose into other people's musical choices or how they take their career you know. But, of course i'll break down the subliminal messages and translate the wording for you. Italian is no different than spanish but i know you'll get certain phrases however, i'll translate any you don't fully understand." He smiled at his boyfriend. "I will say that i don't like that guy, as long as you play his songs while i'm present, we're good or else i'll be all types of grump." There was no denying Ludo had anger issues more so when this italian copy version Benny mentioned popped up in their conversation. Thankfully that guy was now a switched up topic. For the better.
"I've never messed around anyone outside my age range. I don't know what's the appeal there, fucking around with old people isn't right, i see them as my parents or grandparents. And i see why you dated outside your age, no hate. It was never my thing. Sorry you had to go through that, as always your father keep sticking his nose. He tried with me, and here we are." Ludovic never feared anything, not even death but he did fear not having Benny part of his life anymore. Crazy how he ended up changing for someone when he never thought that would be possible. Benny flipped the world upside down for him, all it took was one kiss to set him free. "Hope you can trust me. It's okay if that's hard for you now but, hopefully i can change that for you." Ludo whispered softly, kissing the other again. Only Benny could ever set him free, giving up on him for whatever dumb reason would be idiotic in itself. His tongue slipped between Benny's soft pillowed yet warm lips. When the kiss broke, hazel hues locked with Benny's blue ocean like ones, smiling at him.
"The ocean is like hell, dense, lonely, dark. Beautiful to marvel at, yet deadly. I guess for you, i can see why you choose it. it's less painful than a plan crash, i assume you'll feel the pain there compared to the ocean, you are more than likely to feel like another sleepy night. Just that you won't wake up. Well, given your tan skin, and how the ocean seems to call you. You are one hell of a sexy merman, take me with you. On the ship and boat, die a slow death in your arms." This was a deep conversation however, Ludo was being serious. If anything, he wanted death to be nice and take him with Benny. As they headed into this shop, Ludo had seen this nice silver pendant in the shape of an ocean which also had initials, lucky he saw one with and L. Guiding his boyfriend to the spot where he saw the necklace, taking it out from where it hung, showing Benny after. "Saw this, and luckily they have one with a B."
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Visibly,   Benji   pursed   his   lips   into   a   pout.   He   hated   knowing   that   Ludovic   wrote   songs   for   him   and   Benji   had   been   unaware   of   it.   Why   didn't   he   listen   to   those   rumors?   Because   mostly   rumors   like   that   were   just   bullshit.   ❝I'll   listen   to   all   of   them   from   now   on,   and   ask   you   frequently   when   I   don't   understand   something.   Luckily,   Italian   and   Spanish   are   similar.❞   If   Benji   was   honest   he   had   to   admit   that   he   couldn't   wait   to   know   everything   Ludovic   kept   hidden   in   his   songs.   But   listening   to   all   of   those   had   to   wait   until   much   later.   Back   at   his   personal   prison   with   his   father,   Benji   would   have   enough   time   to   listen   to   all   songs.   Right   now,   he   rather   enjoyed   the   free   and   carefree   time   he   could   spend   with   his   new   boyfriend.
❝Yeah,   I   really   thought   that   at   first.   Two   or   three   years   before   I   met   you,   I   dated   someone   my   age   briefly.   If   you   can   call   it   dating.   But   turned   out,   he   said   that   he's   never   been   interested   in   me.   Richard   paid   him   for   leaving   me.   This   made   me   stop   trusting   guys   my   age.❞   But   with   Ludovic   it   was   definitely   different   and   Benji   understood   that   now.   Yet,   he   also   had   no   doubts   that   his   boyfriend   could   get   everyone   to   spread   their   legs   for   him.   Was   this   triggering   his   jealousy?   Yes,   secretly,   Benji   felt   the   little   green   monster   of   jealousy   creeping   up   again.   He   didn't   even   want   to   imagine   how   everyone   was   swooning   over   Ludovic.   And   sadly,   Benji   was   already   well   aware   that   they'll   run   into   a   bunch   of   ex-flings   sooner   or   later.   Will   Benji's   jealousy   endure   that?   Probably   not.   Benji   could   already   tell   that   he'll   start   an   argument   when   it'll   become   too   much.   Luckily,   the   kiss   distracted   his   mind   right   away   from   unnecessary   overthinking.   All   he   wanted   was   to   enjoy   their   date   for   as   long   as   it   lasts.   Sooner   or   later,   they   will   both   lose   their   patience   and   crave   each   other   again.   Benji   could   already   feel   that   his   body   was   growing   impatient.   Ludo   was   just   too   handsome   and   his   kisses   were   pure   sin.   The   only   way   to   distract   himself   was   to   keep   moving   while   holding   a   nice   conversation.   His   mind   shouldn't   go   anywhere   sinful,   not   yet   at   least.
Benji   hummed   and   nodded,   not   surprised   at   all   that   Ludovic   considered   both   scary.   It   was   the   most   rational   answer.   ❝It's   mainly   a   question   of...which   death   do   you   think   you   could   deal   with   a   little   better.   Most   people   will   probably   choose   death   by   plane   crash   because   they   hope   it'll   be   faster?❞   Benji   shrugged   a   little   bit.   ❝But   if   I'd   have   to   choose,   I'd   choose   the   ocean   and   the   ship.   Drowning   is   torture,   that's   true,   but   having   the   ocean   as   your   grave   sounds   nice   to   me.❞   A   bright   smile   settled   on   Benji's   lips.   ❝That   was   a   downer,   I'm   sorry.   It   didn't   mean   to   be   one,   I   just   love   the   ocean   a   lot.❞   He   chuckled   and   followed   his   boyfriend's   gaze   over   to   the   shops.   Immediately,   his   blue   eyes   flickered.   ❝Don't   mind   actually.   What   did   you   see?❞   he   asked   as   he   moved   closer   to   the   small   shop   Ludovic   mentioned.
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incendiorum ¡ 4 months ago
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the whole seeking peace after trauma aspect to io has become such a big facet of them over recent years. it's the end goal for them, to finally and completely take their life out of the hands of the people who have puppeted it both from the start (venadeus) and for centuries (col, the hounds). io is, as it stands, in a permanent state of 'can't grieve yet' and the closure to finally start grieving and live their own life completely and wholly comes in a cascade after they finally admit to themself that there is no redeeming col and that something must be done for good. col still living is why io is in their permanent grief limbo. and of course there is the problem that venadeus has considered io nothing but a tool for himself since the moment they were conceived, but io ends the venadeus line with themself, once and for all. they hate that they were always meant to be a sacrificial lamb, but becoming the next and final venadeus gives them the things they've desired and a means to fully become themself. they get power - they get so much power as to practically be untouchable, and with it they simply seek the peace that had been taken from them centuries ago. it's hard getting there, admittedly, resurrecting as a god is something they have to claw through tooth and nail, but the end makes it worth it.
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icewindandboringhorror ¡ 22 days ago
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A little costume with eyebrow whiskers again.. making their return lol..
#fantasy costume#fantasy fashion#fantasy aesthetic#No idea what to tag this generally or which tags are even used on tumblr lol... I think thats the thing I'm worst at with social media#is just knowing how to understand and use tags. I think I take them too literally or something or have trouble categorizing#Since I go to the tag and check it and it's too scattered of a group of things then I'm not sure whether something fits there#or not since it's like 'eh.. well.. there are also a lot of things in there that ARENt like what i'm posting''#I have like the opposite problem of those spam blogs that will tag their posts with 800 barely related things. like a picture of a random#girl in a dress and it's tagged 'the simpsons. macklemore. downton abbey. fortnite. girly things. gothic horror. vibes. brad pitt. golf.''#or whatever lol.. where I will feel like if less than 85% of the tag is exactly completely related to what im posting then its like 'eh...#maybe I shouldnt post there...who knows what its even for.. . what if theres some tv show named 'fantasy costume' which im unaware of#and people will assume i'm mocking the show' or some weird thing like that. Anyway lol#Another one I almost didn't post since I've just hated all my costumes recently.. I'm not sure why.. maybe my camera is getting old??#Because they look fine in person - it's more specifically that I dont like the PICTURES of them for the past 2-3 yrs or so. like i know#it's not my facial features it's more like... the lighting or something?? I just always feel so much like it looks nothing like how it#did in the mirror in real life. Like the colors will be off or it will be too bright or weirdly shadowed or something. maybe one day I#accidentally changed a setting on my camera and never changed it back. But it used to be a lot easier to find images I was okay with. -_-#I did just really want to do the eyebrow whiskers again though since I've always found them fun. And also to use the star things as part of#mouth jewelry. They're actually just star shaped paperclips that I kind of bent to be larger. Then the green shawl thing is a pillowcase#Looking back on it I would've liked to do horns or something since the top of the head is a bit bare lol#self
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alaskan-wallflower ¡ 5 months ago
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hot take but maybe people should stop harassing/stalking the outsiders cast.
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dittolicous ¡ 3 months ago
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If I can be real for a second - what turned me off from BNHA/MHA wasn't even the series itself (though it def has some things I don't care for in the later half) but the fucking real life League of Villains stans who just CONSTANTLY blasted the hero side and acted like LoV were totally in the right just because they have tragic back stories where they were abused or failed by society (it started getting truly unbearable when Hawks killed Twice, like jesus. I will forever argue his actions were entirely valid, if misguided, given the information he had).
Because... it's literally the gif.
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The who damn point was that they had valid points, that hero society was fucked up and failing the people who needed help the most... but LoV were not against MURDERING GENUINELY INNOCENT PEOPLE and thus had to be fucking STOPPED. They didn't just kill heros, they'd kill civilians as well. They were actively continuing the cycle that hurt them, just for the other half of society. Their actions weren't about making everyone equal, it was about making others suffer and putting themselves at the top.
Their reasons being understandable and sad DON'T MAKE THEM THE TRUE GOOD GUYS. Just like the heroes weren't purely the good guys because they fought bad guys (fuck Endeavor, all my homies hate Endeavor). It was gray vs gray, not black vs white. Both sides had something they needed to learn or understand, and change as a result of.
I just got so sick of wading through 'LoV is right!' 'Kill Hawks/All Might/etc.' 'All Mights a bad guy' rhetoric, I couldn't enjoy MHA.
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sschmendrick ¡ 7 months ago
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ok i've been meaning to send this ask all day but never caught the time. I see so much haikyuu on your blog lately! Tell me more! (funny thing is we are doing a rewatch at home too!) tell me your story and EVERYTHING you want. And also!!!! i can see you shipping hinata and kenma?
OK ok, strap yourself in because I cannot guarantee that this will make any sense. But I’ll do my best.
To be off to a great start, I do not remember how I got into Haikyuu. One day it wasn’t and the next it was. From pictures I have I can say that I was into Haikyuu in my last year of middle school (so 2015-2016). By then I already had mangas but I’m pretty sure I was first attracted to it by the anime so I’d already seen the first season (and maybe the second too) and I had started buying the mangas.
(I shall put a read more here cause this post is LONG, beware!!)
Pictured below is one of my productions during my mandatory stage de troisième. I was in a graphic design agency and I was shy so I’d eat real fast at lunch time and use the rest of the time drawing and my supervisor saw me one day and offered to give me an exercise around it that would make me both enjoy what I was doing and also understand more stuff about graphic design. He was awesome. He really went with all my little cringe interests and encouraged me. The exercise he gave me was to create a cover for Haikyuu. I had a lot of fun with the lettering, understanding the dimensions and everything. He then made me create a brand, understanding why brands are called what they are, making my own logo, and then I worked on one of their (maybe) projects.
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(top is the cover I did, the second one is what I was working on when he gave me the assignment, last on is me being crazy and drawing yaoi in a room full of adults at 14 and them going good job, you wanna keep drawing ?)
Yes I already had a favourite character but it will become more apparent soon. I got really into volleyball because Haikyuu made it look so cool. I was never a sports guy so it was really hard to want to have fun while being so bad with endurance and athleticism. All I had to my name was my flexibility because of dancing for years. Once again I think I was very lucky with the people I met. My PE teacher was really nice and could have just let me skip the class but he didn’t. Wait no, this needs more context. I didn’t have many friends in middle school. I spent the first year with nobody. The second year someone approached me and more or less dragged me in the world of people and friends (once again, I met an amazing person that was just selflessly nice to me). She got me speaking to people and I met my friends through her. My best friend from elementary had abandoned me in a matter of days after we started middle school so I felt very awkward in all situations. Anyway, I had a few people I hung out with but that was about it. I wasn’t exactly the bestest of friends with them but they accepted me even if I was awkward and didn��t talk much. They all knew each other for a while and were much closer (and popular), so when PE would come around I didn’t have anyone to pair up with. SO, my teacher instead of turning a blind eye offered to help me with the volley practice (this was in quatrième (before last year of middle school) if I remember right ? but it must not have been before I learned about haikyuu). He took the time to make me practice everything and explain everything and honestly I think that helped a lot with my general technique cause otherwise there’s a lot I would not have understood or just learned wrong and would have to readjust when I got to high school.
Back to last year of middle school. My mind has been overtaken by Haikyuu cause it’s brilliant. I dabble in cosplay and I have no money I can use to buy an aliexpress one (yes the dreaded website but we would go there at the time haha) but I want to cosplay Haikyuu. Lucky me, I have found a group of cosplayer on Paris for the next Paris Manga that’s doing Haikyuu ! I was so pumped up. And they didn’t have my character but they did have his partner so we were all excited about it :) My parents were not very thrilled about it all because I was still just 14 and they were mostly adults but my mom still helped me make my own jersey! I still have it but I’m 100% sure it doesn’t fit anymore :’) Here is me starting to fall for the sport and the cosplay progress pictures I still have
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(still so proud of it, I did everything by hand !! and last pic is me with a volley ball cause I was a little deranged already)
Yes I was Akaashi, I loved that character. Acting all polite but an overthinker much with a dash of mischievous and admiration for the people around him. Also nothing grand about him like so many of the characters, but he could still hold up with them. I think I have somewhere on my computer a picture of our group but first I don’t know where it is and second you can only see my face on it so I have no picture of my finished cosplay haha. The con was amazing, I had so much fun with these people, we started hanging out a little more often and going to all the anime cons around Paris as a group and we did more group cosplays. I loved it. However at this con I lost my phone and it was in February so when I needed my dad to come pick me up I had to wait for 45 minutes in short shorts and a thin jersey :’)
After that I kept enjoying Haikyuu as one does, and high school started. Oh high school, a lot happened there. First thing I did was being reborn ! And even though it wasn’t much and only social it helped me be a little more free already. Free enough to allow myself to pursue a certain sport I was looking forward to. Yeah I got the volleyball bug. I was so happy my high school had a volleyball “club” and the first day of it we were only two. It was me and another guy, even smaller than me, who had also loved Haikyuu but we didn’t talk much about it. He was just as fired up about it as I was and we really pushed each other to become better. I don’t know what he’s become now but I hope he kept playing volleyball.
Anyway we were off to a great start with…two players. But still our coach/PE teacher was kind enough to teach us. We managed to have a few more people to come now and then but it was rough the first year. In my three years (well two but that’ll come later) we never had 6 “full time” people in the club so any kind of competition, even to get completely massacred by the other teams, was out of the question sadly. We would play on a concrete court ! It was REALLY rough haha ! But these courts were situated in a sort of closed courtyard space that was surrounded by school buildings and on the top floor were the Prepa classes (preparatory classes to get in higher education schools like engineering private schools for anyone not French reading this). Unlike the rest of my classmates, they liked playing volleyball. They were soooo tall compared to us but they would play with us and teach us some stuff and they were really good compared to us. Thanks to them we got the actual practice we needed cause you can’t learn enough by just playing 3x3 or worse 2x2 with people who can barely keep the ball in play (I was one of these people, I get to trash talk past me).
In my first year of high school I was taking riding lessons at the military school since we wouldn’t be able to go to our family’s house village with the more apparent divorce and moving out and other difficulties. It was an experience and I don’t regret doing it but it wasn’t a great place. I stopped the next year. And then…then I have memory problems. I cannot remember if it was during my second or last year of high school that I did it, but I would say it was during my second year of high school, that I entered an outside volleyball club. It was a Sunday lesson, it was all adults and it was for beginners. We would mostly do matches but sometimes they would focus on serves or hitting (I only remember one lesson about it though lol). It was super cool, I got to play volleyball on the Wednesday with my school club, whenever at lunch break when the Prepa were playing, and the Sundays at my outside club. By then, I don’t think I was reading or watching much of Haikyuu. I think I might have gotten my adhd ass hooked on something else while waiting for the next season and I had fallen in love with volleyball for the playing not just Haikyuu by then. Also something that I’m working on (and I’ve noticed it has gotten better already) is that I have a hard time appreciating watching people do something I love (usually a sport) as much as I appreciate doing the sport. For example, I never enjoyed watching any horse jumping competition even though I love doing it. I think it might come from the fact that I am bad at the things I love and therefore cannot truly appreciate what’s going on. As of right now I watch volleyball matches and rallies and really enjoy it.
Last year of high school rolls around the corner and…our PE teacher/coach tells us that they are closing the club down cause we aren’t enough and she would rather not run from our practice to the badminton’s practice (that she also coaches) and only work with the badminton’s club. After all they had the regional and potential national champions there meanwhile we had no hope of ever participating in a competition. And I had learned at my last lesson at my outside club that since we weren’t enough coming to the practice they would close down their beginner lesson. It was a bit of a shock to go from two practice per week to none at all. I missed volleyball. I accepted to participate at the badminton’s practices (cause it’s also a sport I like but at leisure, not on a competitive level, and less than volleyball) but it was just to keep me doing something. What happened though is I got to choose which sports I wanted for my BAC (high school diploma) since I was in a club the year prior and I chose the one with volleyball and I aced that. I only resented the top players of our group a little cause it wasn’t their sport at all but since they were pretty athletic and good at sports in general they had no problem being good at it when it took me sooooo long :’) yes I am petty.
Then I don’t know what the heck happened. Well yes I know but I don’t know why when I arrived in Montreal in my school I didn’t try to get into the volleyball club. Anyway, I didn’t play for a whiiiiile, years ! And the only reason I did again was because my best friend’s parents ( @nyaoi-warrior ) invited me to play with them and their friends when I visited. I was bad at communicating when I was playing in France (I often forget to say “j’ai”) but this was in Czech Rep, and we couldn’t communicate in English. It was HARD but I had so much fun !! My team lost all of the sets but it was so cool :D
Recently I was looking for something in my old stuff in the basement of the building. I didn’t find it but what I did find were my old Haikyuu manga. And oh god the flame it awoken in me. So anyway here is me a few weeks later with a volley ball in my hands, I’ve found a place I can sneak in just for the end of the year and I’ve been looking at clubs I can enter (and hopefully get better and then do some competition).
Now more about Haikyuu. What an amazing sports manga/anime it is. Of course, with the protagonist being a spiker most people when they start volleyball because of Haikyuu want to spike. I was lucky enough to be in the tall half of my year in high school but now I am tiny compared to most volleyball players. And a thing I love in volleyball I quickly discovered is diving for the ball. I’d be running far back or on the side, sliding until my knees burn to keep that ball in play. I thank Haikyuu for giving each role a time in the spotlight in almost every game they play, cause with what we learned in my school club or outside club I would never have heard of the libero. Ofc when you play for leisure having a libero is a bit meh but now I know that if I ever want to play competitive this is the role I should gun for (or maybe setter but I’m still pretty small so idk).
I just finished watching the season 4 recently and I’m on my way to catch up, and then finish with the scans (and then buying the mangas too). I got spoiled about what happens at the nationals after season 4 and what happens after, the time skip etc but just in the grand lines and I’m fine with that. I don’t think that it takes away from it too much. And (IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AFTER/DURING TIME SKIP DON’T READ BUT ALSO WE WON’T HAVE A FULL TIME SKIP ANIMATED SO IF YOU’RE JUST WATCHING THE ANIME I’D SAY MIGHT AS WELL READ IT BUT ALSO IT’S EVERYWHERE SO YOU MIGHT KNOW IT ALREADY) I freaking love Hinata in Brazil. It’s very funny to me too cause here is this little dude who got me into volleyball, with whom I had an anime-level betrayal and tragedy with my clubs, and now I’m learning Portuguese because of my Brazilian friends and I wanna go to Brazil and HE WENT TOO ?? That was hilarious to me. Maybe I should look into beach volleyball hehehe.
About the ships; I started with the “basic” ones, the most obvious ones that come from the strong bonds and non-stop interactions and how they are shown as more or less pairs by the manga/anime (so kagehina, asanoya, daisuga, bokuaka, etc etc etc) but I am a multi shipper now. I don’t know I have a much more relaxed approach to shipping now, especially for big casts where there isn’t clear cut villains, same with one piece. They all have great relationships with everyone around them and I like many of them. And yeah I stumbled upon kenhina recently and I really like their dynamic. I love kagehina just as much, and also the hilarious way Hinata seems to fascinate all setters. I have seen some really funny tsukkihina fanarts too. I’ve put a lot of stuff in my queue so you got some yakunoya coming soon as well haha. Also from what I’ve heard (haven’t got to see it yet) (yes the premiere was Sunday and it’s only out today) that the movie has big kenhina energy so I’m here for it.
This little red-head guy just makes me so happy. I’m so glad I got to discover one of, if not my favourite sport out there (and that says a lot coming from a horsegirl) and I want to keep it in my life. I’m asking around for clubs and selections and I hope I am accepted. And I’ll be celebrating my birthday watching Olympic volleyball matches :D
OH ! Another thing. During my intensive studying period for my current school’s diploma, I was with friends and before we started studying each morning we would put on music or some kind of stuff, and we put anime opening blind tests and one of them had the first Haikyuu opening (which is still my favourite cause yk…it’s the one that started it all) and I was hit with a wall of memories…yeah :’)
I think that’s all I might have forgotten a few things, I don’t know at this point.
I can’t believe you got me writing more about volleyball, in English, in 2 hrs than I’ve written for my THESIS in a WEEK. This is 5 word pages WITHOUT THE PICTURES.
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inkedmyths ¡ 2 years ago
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(drags hand down face) When there's Christian proselytizing blazed on the dash...
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neopolitan-noir ¡ 2 years ago
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helenisaweirdo ¡ 9 days ago
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the small bundle covered in blankets felt heavy in kaiser’s hands. kaiser was by no means weak in; but when the previously crying baby was coaxed by your exhausted voice to sleep, millions of doubts weighed down on kaiser—even heavier than the weight of his father’s hands on kaiser’s neck when he was a child.
“i think she’s fond of you. she must have heard those conversations you had with her when she was still in my stomach.”
your small, almost inaudible voice brought your husband out of his trance. the soft blonde hair peeking out of the pale blue beanie—the hair most definitely being inherited from kaiser—were like golden rays of sun. kaiser looked down at you, sitting down on the bed you were currently lying down. kaiser moved his gaze to his daughter, who slept peacefully.
“i don’t know,” he swallowed, a tattooed hand gently caressing his daughter’s cheek. “am i…really cut out to be a father? what if i become just like him? what if i accidentally hurt her just like that piece of scum did with me? what if she hates me? what if—“
your eyes soften, remembering the days in your childhood with kaiser, when he was always playing with the stray dogs while soot and bruises, and sometimes even blood, ornamented his body. you’ll never forget the days when you were both 14, when he finally told you; his father’s treatment of him, his father’s constant drinking, how his mother left him, and how his goal was just…to be loved.
and that’s when you realized: he had no home—no an emotional one, at least. a boy who was never taught manners or how to survive or how to properly speak, a boy who was never taught what was good for him and what was bad for him. and he never even went to school either until bastard münchen taught classes.
you reached forward to reach his hand, kaiser once against moving his glance to you. “michael, you won’t. i know you won’t. you’re not him, michael. you’re you. and unlike when you were growing up, i won’t leave you or our daughter. ever.” you brought his tattooed hand up to your lips. “it’ll be hard, but im sure it will all turn out okay, michael.”
and suddenly kaiser feels a sting, tears beginning to pool at the brim of his eyes as his chest tightens. damn it, he didn’t even cry during your delivery…but when the two most important women—no, people, in his life are right in front of him, one of them looking at him like he’s the most precious treasure in the world, how could he not be vulnerable?
kaiser takes your hands and placed it on his chest—right where his heart is. he runs his thumb over the cool surface of your wedding ring on your finger, his daughter seemingly beginning to wake up, though still quiet.
“thank you for being in my life. i love you.”
———
to anyone who says “ooc” “kaiser would never do this” etc,
lemme just remind you that kaiser has stated MULTIPLE TIMES throughout the bastard münchen vs PXG match that his goal was just to be loved. another thing is that in kaiser’s official character profile (from the egoist bible), his type is described as “someone who’s beautiful, smart, and full of love”
(if anyone says “omg ness is literally his type” in the comments then im actually going to scream because i hate kainess with a passion. it’s so toxic and kaiser literally sees ness as a dog and ness’ so-called “feelings” for kaiser is just a result of manipulation. plus, ness doesn’t actually match kaiser’s type. ness is smart, yes, but ness has never been stated to be good looking in any way shape or form. in fact, judging from ness’ backstory, he might even be canonically ugly. plus, ness doesn’t ACTUALLY love kaiser. again, it’s just “feelings” that began to form from manipulation.)
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rottenfyre ¡ 2 months ago
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⸻ ɪ ɴ ᴛ ʜ ᴇ ᴅ ᴀ ʀ ᴋ ⸻
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Pairing: Bruce Wayne x Fem Reader
Headcanon: how would he be when he's obsessed?
Note: English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!
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Bruce Wayne is a man shaped by tragedy, a billionaire with an iron will and an unrelenting sense of justice. But beneath the stoic façade lies a broken soul. When Bruce becomes obsessed, it isn’t violent outbursts or chaotic behavior—it’s cold, calculated, and methodical. He doesn’t lose himself to obsession; he leans into it, weaponizing his resources and intelligence to keep you close. After all, what is Batman if not a man who cannot let go?
Maybe you’re someone he met at a gala—a rare individual who caught his attention without trying. Maybe you’re an employee at Wayne Enterprises, someone who treated him like a person rather than the playboy billionaire. Or maybe you stumbled into Gotham’s darker corners, and he saved you as Batman. Whatever the case, Bruce finds himself drawn to you in a way he hasn’t been to anyone else in years.
At first, he tells himself it’s curiosity. You’re intriguing, sure, but nothing more. Yet he can’t stop thinking about you. Every word you said, every look you gave him, replays in his mind like a song stuck on repeat. And Bruce, has to understand why.
Bruce doesn’t approach you immediately; instead, he observes. He justifies it as caution. After all, he’s Batman—he needs to know everything about you to protect you.
He learns everything there is to know: your name, your routines, your friends, your secrets. He watches you through security cameras, listens to your conversations through bugs he discreetly plants, and even monitors your online activity.
But to Bruce, this isn’t invasive—it’s necessary. How else can he ensure your safety in a city as dangerous as Gotham?
As Bruce Wayne, he’s charming, attentive, and subtly magnetic. He uses his wealth and influence to insert himself into your life. Invitations to exclusive events? Job offers at Wayne Enterprises? He makes it impossible for you to say no without coming across as ungrateful.
As Batman, he’s your silent protector, always one step ahead. If you’re ever in trouble, he’s there—appearing out of the shadows to save you. He doesn’t speak much when he’s Batman, but the way his gaze lingers on you feels almost suffocating.
You’d never suspect that the billionaire who’s so eager to help you and the vigilante who seems to always be around are one and the same.
Bruce’s obsession manifests in his need for control. He doesn’t see himself as possessive—he sees himself as protective. You don’t need to worry about toxic friends, late-night walks, or bad decisions because Bruce will take care of everything.
If someone gets too close to you, Bruce doesn’t lose his temper. Instead, he uses his resources to quietly remove them from your life. A coworker who flirts too much? Suddenly transferred. A friend who badmouths Bruce? Their secrets mysteriously come to light.
“It’s for your own good,” he tells himself. After all, Bruce believes he knows what’s best for you better than you do.
Bruce is painfully self-aware. He knows his feelings for you aren’t healthy, and he hates himself for it. But his guilt doesn’t stop him; it fuels him. He rationalizes his actions by convincing himself that you’re safer with him watching over you.
“I’ve already lost so much,” he whispers to himself late at night in the Batcave, your face flickering on the monitor in front of him. “I can’t lose her too.”
In his mind, his obsession is just another sacrifice he makes for the people he loves. He can bear the weight of being a monster as long as it means keeping you safe.
Bruce rarely shows his jealousy outright—it’s subtle, like a storm brewing just beneath the surface. If you mention another man, his jaw tightens imperceptibly. If someone touches you, his eyes darken, and his hand lingers a little too long on your shoulder as he pulls you away.
Behind the scenes, though, he’s ruthless. The man who asked for your number? He’ll find himself the target of a police investigation. That friend who keeps trying to set you up on dates? Suddenly, they’re avoiding you without explanation.
“I’m just looking out for you,” he says when you start to notice how people in your life seem to vanish. “Gotham is dangerous. You can never be too careful.”
Bruce’s obsession remains controlled until you try to distance yourself. Maybe you’ve started to feel smothered, or maybe you’ve realized that the people disappearing from your life aren’t coincidences. When you confront him—whether as Bruce or Batman—he’s calm, almost unnervingly so.
“I only want what’s best for you,” he says, his voice steady. “Do you have any idea how much danger you’re in without me?”
If you try to leave, that calm facade shatters. He won’t hurt you—never you—but he’ll do everything in his power to make sure you stay. He’ll cut off your options, isolate you, and remind you that no one else can protect you the way he can.
“You think you’re safer without me?” he says, his voice laced with desperation and anger. “You’re wrong. Gotham will chew you up and spit you out. I’m the only thing standing between you and harm.”
Despite his obsession, Bruce’s love for you is genuine in its own twisted way. He wants you to be happy, even if he doesn’t understand that his actions are suffocating you.
There are moments when the mask slips—when Bruce is just a broken man trying to hold onto the one good thing in his life. Late at night, he’ll hold you close, his voice trembling as he whispers, “You’re everything to me. I can’t lose you. Not after everything I’ve already lost.”
In those moments, it’s hard to tell where Bruce Wayne ends and Batman begins. To him, they’re both the same—a man who would do anything to protect the one person he can’t live without.
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@ʀᴏᴛᴛᴇɴꜰʏʀᴇ 2024. ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ ᴏʀ ᴜꜱᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ ʜᴇʀᴇ ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴡᴇʙꜱɪᴛᴇꜱ.
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cupidlovesastro ¡ 4 months ago
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🪻𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖉 𝖊𝖓𝖏𝖔𝖞💜
astrology observations #20 (hate edition)
astrology observations #19 (love edition)
astrology observations #18 (real life experiences)
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𖡦 lacking 5h placements doesn’t necessarily mean you will be sad or depressed, but you could be more prone to being sad
𖡦 having planets such as pluto, saturn, or uranus in 5h can mean that it will take work, change, and/or growth of some kind to accomplish being happy
𖡦 although aquarius placements like being different, they don’t like being outcast. they are more prone to get bullied due to their uniqueness and “under dog” qualities
𖡦 moon conjunct uranus can make your emotions chaotic and unpredictable
𖡦 capricorn placements can be quite pessimistic in general, although they are realistic. they can also tend to be more avoidant when it comes to emotionally charged conversations, or really intense discussions. capricorns are deep people, but it truly takes time and effort to learn everything about them
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𖡦 scorpio moons may have had a mother that caused a lot of trauma to them, as well as betrayed them often and restricted them in some shape or form. they could’ve been very possessive or obsessive as well
𖡦 libra placements can often be pushed over, walked on, and lead into doing bad things because they don’t want to stand up for themselves
𖡦 saturn aspecting your moon can mean you have a hard time expressing your feelings. you may feel like there’s something in you that tells you, you can’t
𖡦 aquarius in 8h or chiron may have experienced online trauma
𖡦 scorpio placements are very distrusting, so take them seriously when they open up to you and trust you with information about their self
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𖡦 chiron in the 6h can mean you were hurt by an animal at some point, especially a pet
𖡦 lilith in the 1h, 11h, or 10h can make you rejected by many people. you may have people you never met before dislike you for no particular reason. people may also sexualize you
𖡦 pisces/ 12h mars people can be prone to being misunderstood during arguments.
𖡦 uranus in the 11h can mean you could have friends that will potentially go against you, or friends that will often leave you out of things
𖡦 virgo in 10h can show that people will publicly criticize you
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letters-to-lgbt-kids ¡ 2 months ago
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My dear lgbt+ kids, 
A few quick reminders: 
If you are a human being, then yes, politics do affect you personally. Laws and policies impact your daily life in ways you might not even realize, from health care and education to jobs and the environment. Voting is your chance to shape the world you live in day to day.
You most likely won't find a "perfect" candidate on the ballot. It’s rare, if not impossible, to agree with a candidate 100%. Vote for the one who best represents your priorities in general.
Avoid throwing away your vote. Writing in someone who isn’t running (like a celebrity or fictional character) doesn’t actually send a message to candidates. It just makes it harder for your voice to be heard. Use your vote for someone who’s truly in the race.
The "big revolution" that fixes everything might be a nice fantasy, but change happens through small steps. Voting won’t solve everything right away, but it’s a powerful tool for moving the needle in the right direction. Progress, even if gradual, adds up over time. Fantasies are just.. well, fantasies.
Many places offer early voting or absentee ballots. If you can’t make it on election day, look into these options to ensure your vote gets counted. 
If people tell you you can’t vote for whatever reason, double-check that info. Do your own research. Sometimes people have bad intentions or are simply misinformed. 
Voting is private. Your parents, partner, caretakers etc. may be able to check IF you vote but no one needs to know WHO you vote for if you don’t feel safe or comfortable with them knowing. Your ballot will be secret and protected. You have a right to keep the secret. Always remember: Lying for safety is okay. 
Last but not least: You know who will vote? Nazis. Fascists. People who hate queer people, women, immigrants and people of color. People who want to take away your rights, even people who want to see you in jail or dead. They will absolutely go out and vote for their preferred candidate, even if you stay home and refuse to vote. You throwing away your voice as a “protest” will only make theirs louder.
With all my love, 
Your Tumblr Dad 
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vanillesprincess ¡ 7 months ago
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how to fix being "ugly" once and for all
hello loves! I have just discovered Mae Alice Suzuki's youtube channel and I fear it is already changing my life!
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I was watching her video and I decided to take a few notes so that I could make a blog post and read her tips whenever I needed it + share them
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In the video, Mae explains how to stop being "ugly", and become a more beautiful person. Being "ugly" is not only about physical looks. First of all, I personally believe no one is actually ugly, but everyone has the potential, the right and the capability of reaching the best version of themselves!
Being "ugly" is about not feeling beautiful mentally, and it affects our physical body, environment and behavior. If you hate yourself, hate other people, engage in useless drama and you're always complaining about life and others, this might be for you.
Dear, you have to realize than if instead of improving yourself, you keep hating others... this is going against you. Beautiful people have a beautiful personality, first of all. This is what makes them beautiful.
the body attracts and reflects the ugly vibes, desperation, hatred you put out in the world
if you are convinced that you are ugly, you're realizing that assumption. this is no magic: if you're convinced of it, you probably will never even consider yourself potentially beautiful, you won't consider your body worthy of care, and you will never improve
So... time to change!
In order to change reality, you need to change your thoughts, which will help changing your habits.
Change your "I AM" mindset and speech: don't absorb negative energy of others and do not put out negative energy
Branding yourself as beautiful: you are BEAUTIFUL. own it. most people are not born ugly or beautiful, but people "brand" themselves as ugly or beautiful. believe you're beautiful and ACT LIKE IT!
Caring about yourself: this involves hygiene, diet. it's easy and simple. this is the basis
Own your natural self: think that you're beautiful, own it, and you will become beautiful without implementing unnatural change that is not authentic for you. being unnatural means you are insecure and afraid of yourself. the beauty standards change all the time, so you only actually need to be authentic and take care of yourself. this also means you will naturally become confident
Understand what works best for you: a lot of people that are attractive don't appear like so because they do not know what works best for them, they wear whatever is trendy even when it doesn't make them feel good by reflecting their personal style. Use, consume and wear what makes you feel good + fits you
You just need to learn: learn how to put make up on in strategic points, learn your best angles for pics, what works best for your body and face shapes
most importantly, looks are not everything. if you are not attracted to yourself, doesn't mean that people don't find you pretty. you just need to appreciate yourself more, really!
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luulapants ¡ 2 years ago
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Existential despair is so common in a person's twenties, I think, because up until that point, we've had a pretty clear road map for what's expected of us and we haven't had much reason to question that map. There are still a few milestones outlined for us (start a career, get married, make babies) but more and more young people are entering the post-school world and realizing:
A) that career thing just isn't happening like they said it would
B) I'm not ready to get married/I don't want to get married/marriage isn't the sort of life-altering event that it used to be
C) I'm not ready to make babies/I don't want a baby/I can't afford to raise children right now (see point A)
And in the absence of these milestones to shoot for (which one could argue weren't the promise of fulfillment they claimed to be in the first place), what we're left with is this aimless abyss of "the rest of our lives" sprawling out ahead of us with no indication of how it will go or what we should be doing to shape it. Young people start their first jobs, find they hate them, and think to themselves, "Is this it? Am I just supposed to do this job until I'm too old to do it or die first?"
Which is, yeah, really fucking depressing!! So here's my best attempt at an alternate roadmap for young people that don't vibe with the old model. Please feel free to add in your own suggestions!
Learn how you work and what you want out of a job. Unless you've been in a job-specific training program that gives you hands-on experience, your first jobs should be experiments. Learn how a full-time job feels for you, what elements are more or less difficult. Different workplaces have different cultures and expectations - what do you need out of a job environment? Do you need to find fulfillment in your job or is it enough for it to pay the bills and leave you time to find outside fulfillment? Do you want to climb a corporate ladder or are you content to hunker down as long as your bills get paid? This period of experimentation is exhausting and may feel like it's consuming your whole life.
Learn how to make time for things outside of work. Adapting to a full-time work environment often leaves you feeling so drained that you can't do anything but go home and collapse on the couch every day. That's fine - for a little while. But it can also become a habit. You need to learn how to do things after work or you'll go crazy. Go to a trivia night. Start an exercise schedule. Take a class in your community. Find volunteer work. Join a band. You will find that putting more things into your day makes you feel like you have more time, not less.
Find a community. Making friends as an adult can feel impossible. Where do you find these mysterious friends everyone seems to have?? This goes along with #2, though. As you start regularly attending the same activities, you will find that repeat interactions with the same people turn into friendships or at least friendly acquaintances. Say yes to invitations. Get involved in your local community. Strive to be connected enough to bump into people at the grocery store.
Unlearn bad lessons. We all internalize some messed up things when we're growing up. As you start off your adult life, that's the time to actively work at unpacking the things you've brought with you from childhood and deciding which things are helping you and which things are harming you. This might mean therapy or joining a spiritual group or reading new things or just making special time to be in your own head.
Learn the lessons you missed. In this, I mostly mean practical things. "Adulting." Areas of your day-to-day practical life that are causing you extreme stress are probably related to a knowledge or experience gap. Do you hate cooking and cleaning or were you not taught how to do it properly? Are you afraid of making medical appointments or is it just something new you're not used to? Does money make you queasy or do you need to learn how to make a budget?
Find something fulfilling. This can be your job. It can be volunteer work. It can be faith. It can be a hobby. It can be creating things. It can be challenging yourself physically. It can be activism. It can be going for walks in nature. Everyone finds fulfillment in different places. If you're not finding it where you are, look somewhere else.
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acid-ixx ¡ 7 months ago
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I have a question, well 2 questions to be exact that’s been rattling around in my head since I started reading platonic yandere batfam fics, why would reader stay in Gotham? I’d be sneakily stealing as much money as I could without getting caught as soon as I reach a “fuck these guys” mentality. Like, asking to have some money for groceries or something and just pocketing it so that I could get a bus ticket and leave the city. Would you do it if you were reader? It just makes sense to me “this place sucks, these people suck, I’ve gotten enough to leave”, this is with me assuming that reader has the means of course, if the reader doesn’t then okay, yeah that makes sense
And my second question, do you ever feel resentful towards Alfred when you read batfam photonic yandere content? I do sometimes, especially when the reader is neglected. I know this might sound odd but when I read these fics I recognize that Alfred could do more, out of everyone in the manner, I think Alfred’s word carries the most weight, especially with Bruce due to him raising Bruce. I also notice in some batfam fics that the reader doesn’t get mad at him due to him giving them attention, but idk it feels kinda like a slap to the face, knowing that I don’t have the power but he does and yet not exercising it until I’ve burned every last tie to that family.
I know my thoughts are a more “well you’re on the outside looking in” type takes, but idk, it hurts my heart knowing that if reader stays in that city, it will be far more easier for the batfam to find them, where if they were outside the city, they’d have a fighting chance to make a new life for themselves
On a side note, I think we are underutilizing the angst potential of reader legally changing their name and the batfam not knowing until months or even years later when reader leaves. Like Bruce and the fam would just have to sit and realize that reader hates/dislikes/doesn’t care about them enough to legally change their name from Wayne to whatever reader chooses. Jason was Batman’s greatest failure, but Reader would be Bruce’s greatest failure, and what a delightful public failure it would be if the tabloids were to somehow find out that one of Bruce Wayne’s biological children changed their legal name
I’m loving your batfam content btw, like it makes me want to create one of those “screw therapy, I need to fist fight my dad” tiktoks and tag Bruce Wayne, that’s what I can phenomenal writing!! And sorry for making this so long! Hope you have a great existence!
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slight spoilers for future chapters.
this is one of my favorite asks... anon, you are so brilliant because your two questions tie into the reader's character so well and the flaws that they (you) conjured from years of neglect, so i hope my answers would suffice (i am answering based on the perspective of the reader from my series: again & again with a bit of my own perspective). tysm for sending this in, i actually really enjoy long asks and appreciate it when people take the time to send me these things!
why would the reader stay in gotham?
chapter one wasn't all the detailed about why they stayed in gotham. firstly, their self-worth had them reason that in no way, shape, or form would their family that basically estranged them would come running to them, especially not when the only time the reader could even stumble across them is by some miracle of coincidence. this also ties into their lack of knowledge about their family. sure, they know that babs is the oracle but do they know just how much access she has across gotham? not really. they know tim, like bruce, has a tendency to collect information about other people, but they don't know that they have contingency plans to be creeped out enough to get away from gotham and from their reach.
"it's not like tim or bruce or barbara considered you important enough to be stalked. hah, as if!"
and the third point is, despite bruce being a billionaire of some sort, it was stated that the reader was too well-behaved and quiet. how does this make sense? as you've stated, they wouldn't simply have the means to get out. seeing as they were sheltered by alfred and never really explored the concept of traveling far away, they never asked for money; the only advantage of being a wayne is having quite a lot of things served on a silver platter.
they have this sort of toxic bond for staying with the people who have hurt them and it materialized to them physically staying despite knowing it would only cause more pain than anything else, and they don't know that. plus, they'd rather not have the wayne name associated with them and getting money from cheques or credit cards would be too risky for the reader's safety.
they've only realized just how shitty their family is after more than 10-13 years of staying in the manor, and saving up to move to an entirely different place would be difficult, alongside college and the jobs they have to take. so the next best thing they could do is rely on any means of advantage they could get whilst also moving on to the path of self-discovery and recovery.
but that doesn't mean they're staying in gotham forever, definitely not. the moment the reader realizes that dick gained some sort of interest towards them, they're booking it out of gotham. preferably to metropolis or central city or even somewhere far, far away— they're naive, but not stupid. sudden interest towards them means danger rather than anything else. and they're aware that alfred is capable enough to pull strings, so that's why spoiler alert: they have a secret stash of money hidden somewhere and like any children of bruce, they inherited the capability to be smart enough to already back up their contacts and everything on their phone, buy a burner phone and even change their entire identity in one quick go right after they move into an entirely different city or country.
gotham is merely their practice course.
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do you ever feel resentment towards alfred?
quite frankly, yes. the reader in the fic feels resentment towards everyone for a reason actually, but alfred's part was stated vaguely as to not spoil a future chapter that focuses on his perspective. they know that he has the more power inside the manor more than bruce has. everyone, and i mean everyone respects alfred, and it doesn't take a genius to know that if you mess with him, you're messing with an entire family of crime fighters.
it's not obvious, but the reader's narrative in chapter one is them trying so hard to delude themself into thinking things can be better until it's too late. so in a sense, there's false narrative coming into play.
"alfred would be too busy sometimes to attend your school ceremonies because he had to assist bruce with missions. of course, you understood his priorities. after all, he tried his hardest to make you feel less lonely inside the mansion, it wasn't enough but he was there at least."
at some point in time, alfred had also neglected the reader emotionally with the same reasoning as the others; he was busy with their father. and this all could've been avoided if alfred had tried to confront the entire family about it. i'm not delving deeper into this to really avoid spoilers other than pointing out some details in the first chapter.
just know that alfred relishes in your newfound favoritism towards him, and that he may or may not have pulled some strings himself from helping you become closer to the family.
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the part about reading changing their name from (name) wayne to (name) (last name) is what made me so drawn to this ask. you have pretty much predicted one of the chapters that explored (name) wayne to the public eye. they're not so much of an internet celebrity because of their rare appearances in public, but that's what causes immense curiosity about their identity to uprise in gotham, and their fame was one of the means to get to you.
there was one news article published that was the reason that made bruce distant towards you.
but let's focus on what yan! bruce would've felt once he turns a full 360.
because the first thing he would do once he has you in his grasp is to change your last name back to his. you are not the child of a (last name), you are a wayne first and foremost, bruce's third child and his greatest mistake, quite literally. you were a product of a one-night-stand, and because he was drowning in despair from jason's death, he had failed to notice you. all his years of neglect, and he doesn't even know a single thing about you, simply because he refused to acknowledge your presence.
and you rightfully hated him, he should've accepted that. but your diary entries and the way you innocently thought of him destroyed any sliver of hope for a peaceful reconciliation. he hates how you were experiencing the same type of despair as him when it comes to battling your own monsters— you truly are a wayne at heart. he couldn't afford to let you get away any further. just like dick, he needs to fix it now or further sever the already broken ties you have with him.
it's not batman now, but rather bruce. bruce wayne had failed to save another one of his children, not as a vigilante, but as a father.
knowing bruce, he's quick to take into action and search for you.
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holy shit, this is a really long post but i hope it does answer the questions ! im so grateful that you like my writing enough to write a really long ask, and i hope to see your messages more once the new chapters are published <3
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