#you are a vile fucking excuse of a person and i wish you the worst in life

[alaskan-wallflower]

hot take but maybe people should stop harassing/stalking the outsiders cast.

[susie-dreemurr]

Arcane s2: ep 1 - 3 reaction

After putting it off for so long, finally started season two! Compiling my liveblogs here so I don’t spam my followers lol

Ep1

The counselors piss me off honestly. The only ones I have sympathy for are Mel and MAYBE Jayce (Viktor and Caitlyn aren’t part of the council so they don’t count) mfs attack zaun 1000 times but when zaun fights back suddenly they’re horrible creatures.

Oh thank god Vi didn’t accept the enforcer badge just yet. I know she eventually becomes one due to game osmosis, but I think she needs to change too much for the worse for that to happen. And she doesn’t feel like that yet.

Why does this guy sitting beside vi look so much like Vander…..

Come on Vi do NOT be tempted by one nice girl and Caitlyn’s sweet words. Do not become an enforcer yet. Wait at LEAST until halfway through the season, please please please 😭😭😭

WAIT BO DONT KILL MEL PELASE PLEASW NOT MEL

I think Vi is going to join the enforcers mostly because she might see Caitlyn as the only person she has left, and since they have hextech because she sees it as an answer to her problems. Sigh Vi I will love you even if you become a cop but I will be very disappointed

OMG I FORGOT THIS LADY WAS TRHE MOTHER OF THE KID WHO DIED. Yeah she should be allowed to do as she pleases with Jayce,

Vi nooo don’t use hextech… ought here are no right decisions right now but this marks the beginning of the end

Oh. Omfg. Mel’s mother is with them. She likely got together with them and coordinated an attack so that Piltover would have an excuse to use hextech against Zaun. Vile woman. It makes sense now why that person randomly spared Mel, though— oh wait I nvm I rewatched this part I understood everything wrong. Still… very suspicious. This is now my theory, then.

Oh, man… Vi can certainly relate to that. Vi do not project yourself into Caitlyn too much pease, I want you to spend at least 1/3 of this season Not being a cop

… what the hell are up with these images? Drawings? Caitlyn is looking at…? Interesting. And ugh there goes there fuck ass counselors again

“They must have had help from someone up here” and the camera pans to Mel’s mother. Either I was right or this is a red herring. Either way they’re definitely implying she did it

NOOOOOOO VI NOOOOOOOOO. THSI IS THE WORST DAY EVER. Please quit soon <3 I feel sick.

Edit: can I just say when caitlyn said “I thought you were on our side” and “I understand now how easy it is to hate them” all I could think was fucking. Nick from Zootopia “oh so there’s a THEM now?”

Ep2

Can I just say like. I know this has a lot of symbolism and everything but it’s so funny how basically every episode starts with a fucking amv.

… is the fucking shitty parent abandonment issues cycle hot gonna continue with Jinx and this kid or will the world finally allow me to be happy

Omg it’s werevander isn’t it?!???

She’s not handing Jinx over in an attempt to fulfill Silco’s last wishes, isn’t she?

Can i just say Viktor looks sick as fuck

I fucking forgot Heirmedinger existed godamnit. Now that he’s working with Ekko I can tolerate him ig

…oh fuck either 1) viktor is gonna accidentally corrupt places due to his body being full of hextech now or 2) the cave with shimmer, you know with the mad scientist, has started to contaminate natural resources around it and Ekko’s resistance could be close to it

THE FUCKIGN GUY. THE GUY WITH THE TUMOR IN THE HEAD DUE TO SHIMMER. THTA GUY

Jinx ily but godamnit the first thing you do once you smell somethign that makes you cough up like that is TRY to cover your nose and mouth —- oh fuck no. No. The gauntlet. Jinx is gonna see what Vi became. Nooooo. Fuckkkk

Neither jinx nor I am ready to see enforcer vi. I’m going to ki *remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health* I’m going to defeat the king on my own.

Jinx not taking the shot on vi :(((((

Nah bro these mfs are actual dumbasses fr fr, who td just throws a bomb in the ground like that.

Ok eu não terminei ainda mas acho que sei o que que meu primo quis dizer com “ele vai aparecer. Jesus” agora. Viktor REALMENTE parece o Jesus.

Omfg he literally is so Jesus coded. Por que que eu to vendo um episódio da bíblia agora.

Ep3

Ok fucking hell I saw the title this is gonna hurt. Last episode I could withstand it for just the couple seconds but godamnit I’m not ready for enforcer vi.

Throwing myself into the ocean I do not want vi and caitlyn to be cops. I knew cait was kinda one before too but she was fired so. Point is fikfjdkdjdksnnsns NAURRRR

Jesus Christ Caitlyn don’t you fucking turn off the air ventilation system for zaun. That’s evil. Like, she already tried using it against jinx, sure, but that’s an entirely different matter. Vi if this really does happen then you better give her shit when you find out— Nevermind she’s walking with her. Still, hoping Vi (and Caitlyn too, because she is also changing for the worse) snaps out of this soon <- knows she won’t

Fuckkk. At least the villainous song slaps.

Who tf is that mf in the pillar. Might be bait from jinx

…is Vi trying to mediate? If so, it makes sense. Vi has never seen Caitlyn act like the enforcers that put her down for so long and she doesn’t want that to happen, im sure. And despite everything, Vi is still a zaunite. Even if she may not be aware that she’s trying to mediate, this girl very much remembers what it’s like to be on the other side.

“Everyone in my life has changed. Promise me you won’t change” vi :(

NOOO FUCKINF THE VENTILATION SYSTEM. JINX GODAMNIT WAS THIS YOU. Hope I’m interpreting this wrong.

Caitlyn and Vi being concerned for the other’s changing but their own changes stopping them from truly reaching out….

Minha internet cagou justo quando a vi e a jinx tavam lutando mano não é POSSÍVEL

…this whole thing really was Jinx’s elaborate suicide plan. Also Vi protecting the child and trying to keep Cait from shooting her is such a mirror to the scene where she and Jayce fight people with hextech.

It’s just so… there are no winners in war. There are innocents in both Piltover and Zaun. And even those who don’t have their hands clean but are also victims. All this does is create more suffering. But there was no other way it could have gone now was it

“I keep telling myself that you’re different, but you’re not” nick zootopia in the head again.

Motherfucker. Well maybe she didn’t orchestrate the memorial attack (though we don’t know that yet) but she certainly did this.

“You’ve given Zaun opportunity after opportunity to right their wrongs” no you haven’t. Lmao.

Referring to CAITLYN????????? ohhhh my god

Also. Did Vi last like one(1) episode as an enforcer and stop. I don’t think that’s the case obviously but it’d be really fucking funny since we haven’t seen her here yet

YES YES I FUCKING KNEW IT SHE CAUSED THE MEMORIAL ATTACK DIDNT SHE IM RIGHT ARENT I LETS FUCKING GOOOO I DIDNT INTERPRET WRONG ANYTHING FUCKERS

…okay maybe I am a little excited for Caitlyn’s villain arc— godamnit there’s no fucking way that fuck ass doctor from s1 is still alive.

(That was awesome. But seriously though where is Vi)

[bisolationist]

Ooookay I finally found out why I've gotten like 50 fucking messages telling me to kms since new years, and

A) Hey please don't send messages to people on my behalf, especially to wedge it into a completely unrelated argument, and double especially not to support some guy saying "misandry" is just as bad as misogyny. I think it should be pretty clear from my years around here that I do not believe or support that. If there's anything that makes me fucking angry it's my experiences with a female rapist being used as a gotcha against feminists. I'm not a fucking MRA or anti-feminist puppet and my experiences are not yours to use for your weird agendas. Also all sending weird messages about me does is encourage more deranged people to come out of the woodwork and harass me. I don't care if people talk shit about me that's their problem. At most maybe you can let ME know and see if I wanna say anything, but honestly even that gets tiresome because there's blooms where I'm apparently radblr's #1 Worst Man That Ever Lived for things I didn't even say.

B) That said, I have absolutely no idea why that person talking shit about me suddenly made it about pregnancy. *I* was the one from my very first reply to say that it's important to acknowledge physiological differences between men and women, and that things like pregnancy are HUGE factors in how traumatic an assault can be. So IDK why people are putting in words in my mouth about supposedly saying the opposite of what I've actually said? The discussion was about how OP was categorizing rape in a binary of "truly horrific, degrading, and traumatic" vs "bad but not Bad Bad, certainly NOT horrific and it's fucked up that people think it's horrific" and people jumped on to agree and add things like "rape is something that doesn't ruin a boy's life" or "I think most like it actually we need to acknowledge this <3" and increasingly vile shit like that. That goes way beyond acknowledging physiology and misogyny and steps directly into mocking rape victims and minimizing the impact of sexual assault. If me saying "actually all rape is horrific, degrading, and traumatic" and this makes you fucking livid, that's more about why YOU think raping certain people is "not that bad".

C) Super cool how people in comments in her shit are making excuses about how I'm a "Brain dead moid" and all the shit radfems have been saying to me isn't real harassment or is justified lol. I want any of these people talking shit about me to explain to me off anon why comments like this or this are so based. And that's not even the worst of it by far, there's people openly saying I'm probably the rapist, that they wish my rapist had killed me, that I'm an antifeminist for speaking about my experiences at all, and all sorts of shit. There were weeks where I had to mass delete my inbox every morning because it's just full of people telling me how I'm morally repugnant for not agreeing my rape was No Big Deal (TM). Also, all of this is frankly humiliating. You think I want to talk or think about this all the fucking time? That I want my friends on here to start thinking about me as that guy that was raped? I absolutely hate this more than I can possibly explain for that reason a lone. I also know that I'm one of the few people in a position to speak up about this and I don't think I have to let it slide as no big deal either, but it SUCKS for me.

D) On the whole I agree on a lot of radical feminist's view and am eager to stand up for them and women in general in the capacity that I can, but I'm not a fucking radfem puppet either, sorry. I don't have to pretend it isn't obvious most of the harassment is coming from radfems, and that there isn't a completely deranged rf faction that are ardent rape apologists (both against boys/men but also against girls/women - I spend 85% of my time in GC spaces speaking out against people calling bi women pornographic language when discussing them!). I don't think they're rape apologists *because* they're radfems, but rather rape apologism is something ingrained into just about every culture and people often twist ideologies to make their biases sound moral and upright. Every single ideology has this problem. Still doesn't excuse the fact that the rape apologists within radblr are coddled and defended even by people that claim not to agree with them because people view this as a sports match or something.

[confluence-and-drift]

Anyone else noticed that zionists are taking on even more weirdly contorted positions in order to excuse their rabid ethnonationalism and genocidal hatred whilst squaring it with the sense that they're the eternal victim?

I was watching an interview with an Israeli genocide scholar (who, we can safely say knows his shit as he grew up in the belly of the beast and isn't a zionist) about how that's surprisingly common among all genocides. Even as they murder and despoil, they don't see themselves as killers, they see themselves as protectors of their own.

That's said, reality is still a thing; objective fact exists. They're the literal instruments of genocide, there's no getting away from that, no matter their delusions and paranoia.

But onto the recent thing I mentioned ; I don't know whether this is just a tactic from those students the regime is paying to disrail online diacussions, but the idea that you can be a raging zionist, frothing at the mouth at the supposed antisemitism in the left (no examples of course they'd get laughed at for lying through their teeth otherwise) whilst repeating zionist slogns with ethnonationalism trickling from their seams and still leave a token sentence about how you still supposedly care about Palestinians.

Just the text does not support the conclusion, so to speak. Instead they spread the usual whining where they centre themselves and their delusional bullshit victim complex and attacking the left for supposedly wishing ill on their emotional support ethnostate.

Fucking hell, you don't get to live stream a fucking genocide in the 21st century where we can see the numbers who agree within your nation, can see the vile shit they post on social media, can see what your democratically elected leaders say, see the networks of rape and torture camps you set up, see the sheer bloodthirst of the occupation soldiers as they gleefully loot and kill and torture. They snipe kids in the head. They do this every day without compunction.

You don't get to do all of that and play the victim. You don't get to carry out one of worst crimes of our age and be well regarded. Hell, you don't get to do all of that and not have people wish ill on your nasty little colonial project. You don't get to act all aggrieved and wheel out the false antisemitism accusations when plenty of jews who also think you're vile, openly genocidal monsters who've taken their faith as some sort of perverse emblem to enable your crimes.

This isn't the mainstream western media, I'm not going to entertain your bullshit and I'm disappointed to see when people I follow do. Like... Come on, that blog decrying antisemitism on the left? Look a bit closer. Even if what they shared isn't bad in itself (I too dislike antisemitism), you have to wonder what kind of person bat's for the zionist project even now 10 months into a genocide? Why the fixation on the left in the west vs any discussion on their prime minister's constant derailing of peace talks that he blames the other side for or, you know, anything else actually pertinent to the actual conflict and it's continuation?

Come on people, this doesn't exactly require genius level intellect and an encyclopedic knowledge of west Asian political affairs.

[cosmicjoke]

OMG I don't know if you've seen this yet but in the Levi tag 7m7n7 has made another post insulting you and some of your mutuals(didn't even take her a week lol). Basically she said you hate top/masculine Levi and that you did woobify him and think you own him, and that you're just like every other eruri. Also they posted a bunch of eruri accounts and some were calling Levi a twink, Erwin's bottom pillow princess. Others saying they can't see how other people can call Levi straight and dom, others using gay slurs etc. You know, the post is kind of crazy and all over the place. I think the thing 7m7n7 doesn't get is how big the eruri fandom is and how every big fandom has bad apples. That's not an excuse but it's a fact. Bad apples can literally be found in the self shipping community too, we've seen how some of them have issues with Levi showing vulnerability or emotions outside of anger. As well as with other Levi ships all round. Personally I wouldn't care if she goes at it with those eruri shippers who she feels are degrading Levi's character but she literally attacks every other eruri shipper, THAT'S the problem. She even goes after those actually minding their business and are not even on twitter or Tumblr but are writing their fics on ao3. She says the most vile things to everyone. Sorry but there's LITERALLY no excuse for her to tell one eruri ao3 writer that she's glad that her father died or telling other people she wishes they die or get raped because they have degraded her favorite character, which she herself also degrades and mischaracterize btw. I don't know how she doesn't notice how fucking crazy she sounds?!? Thinking she does what she does because she's fed up of the eruri fandom. And the funny thing is, I know some of the eruris she posted about as proof to show that even other eruris were also complaining about some eruris teasing self shippers or being misogynistic(which literally proves that not all eruris are the same lol because they literally call eact other out. It literally flew over her head) And she has insulted and attacked those she sees as better eruris too lmao, so what's her point. Plus those eruris also dislike her and have her blocked.

Additionally, she even attaked YOU, a very well known Levi defender who had also been going at it with some toxic shippers from all round, from some eruris and self shippers alike. So clearly she's full of shit.

And the hypocrisy is that okay fine she hates eruris, then why does she also hate rivakopon lol. She literally called someone MENTALLY ILL for saying Levi and Onyankopon likely got closer after the war. This person was a Colt/ Falco fan account btw so not an eruri lol.

Let's not forget she has also been caught cosplaying as an eruri on multiple occasions on different alt accounts. So at this point she might likely as well be some of the eruris she's complaining about. How are we to know.

lol, Yeah, I just got tagged, so I've glanced at the meltdown of epic proportions @7n7m7 is having. I only read like the first three paragraphs before I lost interest, lol. Maybe I'll read the rest later just to have a laugh. She's nothing but a freak show and a loser. The fact she can't accept on any level that her interpretation of Levi is just as much bullshit and fantasy as the worst eururi shippers who characterize Levi as some submissive bitch, again, just demonstrates her biblical levels of unawareness. The fact she keeps ranting without having any concept of what she looks like, any concept that everyone and their mother can see SHE started it and got her ass called out for it, again, demonstrates her complete lack of introspection or intelligence. And the fact she can't let it go just solidifies that further, lol.

At the end of the day, what this really boils down to is her insecurity and delusion. She's "in love" with Levi, she says, but what she's really in love with is her warped sexual fantasy that she imposes onto Levi's character, and can't bear to acknowledge Levi's actual character and who he actually is, because it disrupts her ability to indulge in that warped sexual fantasy. That's why she rages against every male/male ship that involves Levi. It's why she hates the idea of Levi being with Onyankopon. She's a fucking homophobic piece of shit, and also apparently likes the idea of Levi slapping the shit out of her, so, you know... If Levi was real, maybe she'd get her wish, just for her being such an incredible dumbass, though, because I know Levi wouldn't touch that with a ten-foot pole, otherwise, lol.

Anyway, this whole thing has just left me laughing. She's whining about her response to my call-out post only getting two replies and trying to blame it on me harassing people, when I've never harassed anyone or sent anyone anonymous messages, or any messages at all, lol. She only got two replies because everyone knows she's a fucking moron and that it's her own fault this all happened, because she couldn't just be normal and disagree with even an ounce of respect.

It's fine. She's wrong about Levi, and she probably knows it deep down, and that's why she can't handle any of this, and can't handle people discussing Levi's trauma and emotions, because every time she sees it, it reminds her of how her own, fanon version of Levi that she harbors in her feverish brain is completely antithetical to who Levi actually is.

Keep trying @7m7n7. Everybody is laughing at the clown.

[fandomsoda]

what are your thoughts on vriska? I don’t follow many homestuck fans so I was hoping to talk to you about it ^w^

Oh, I personally despise her. She is The Worst and did everything wrong. She started off as a prick and then way overstayed her welcome. I wanna preface this with- this is going to be a very negative ramble, but I am not upset with you for asking this at all anon. I’m very glad you’re curious and I appreciate someone being genuinely interested in my Homestuck opinions, and you’re totally welcome to disagree with me. Just because I dislike this character doesn’t mean I dislike talking about her and the story’s flaws, since critique is often how I show my appreciation for the more chaotic media that I enjoy and my wish for it to improve or be better, even if HS is long over and done with and not changing. Either way- Vriska lovers proceed with caution, spoilers ahead, here’s my honest opinion on her.

She was the most repulsive person in the story so far when she was first properly introduced, the way she talked to and treated Tavros in Hivebent (act 5 act 1) literally made me physically ill and scared the shit out of me, and there is absolutely no excuse for her behavior. Vague explanations, but no actual excuses and the explanations don’t directly link to her obnoxiously vile actions.

Even then, she was a good villain figure for a while, and her arc was pretty good up until her death, with that whole scene not only feeling like a justified end to her story but also being a great landmark in Terezi’s character arc as well.

But then she came back.

And that’s where she started to just become fucking annoying.

Because it is so painfully obvious that the only reason she stuck around in the story is because she was the author’s favorite, and a lot of weird shit happened along the way. Her return and subsequent attention got in the way of the opportunities we had to see other characters get more development, and she was basically just a total limelight hog and had no traits that were worthy of that.

Her redemption ““arc”” was half-assed and forced and completely skipped the ARC part of it. She doesn’t feel bad for her actions, she doesn’t apologize, she doesn’t try to fix anything, she’s just like “I’m just gonna keep fighting in the only way I know how” pretending to be some sort of anti-hero when she has NEVER stood for ANYTHING other than her own gain.

She just suddenly starts getting written more likably, and even if she does become more likable because of that, her change is not gradual or meaningful or caused by anything specific or in any way an “arc”. She doesn’t become more likable over time, she just kinda gets a 90° change in how she’s written out of almost nowhere. She is not an asshole with a heart of gold, she was a standard asshole character that got retconned into having a heart of gold. And it was only an excuse to keep including her in the story.

Vriska is a classic example of “angsty edgy character had a perfectly good and complete arc but was brought back for no reason and has no reason to be here anymore”. My dislike for this trope actually started in my time in the Sonic fandom, with how I feel about Shadow. I share the same sentiment with both Vriska and Shadow: they should have stayed dead/not come back. Because now they’ve become botched, overused, annoying limelight hogs that steal development and time away from other secondary characters that deserve it more.

If we had seen more of Vriska’s “good side” earlier on and her arc had ended at her first proper “just” death, I would say she was a pretty good character. But she didn’t, and that’s what upsets me.

it’s not just “ew, she’s a bad person!”, it’s “she’s a bad person who had her arc botched and was poorly retconned into being “good”.”

I do want to note that it has been a while since I refreshed myself on HS and I’ve not finished it in it’s entirety, but this is my recollection so far and what I understand.

thank you for asking! Hope this wasn’t too negative or spoiler-laden for you.

[broken-in-chains]

qlso some cute reminders xoxo

saying "u dont love me the way i love u" is manipulation especially in a venting sense

funny and cute how yknow you both woudl shit talk each other 2 me constantly and yknow one of you lied saying id laugh at someones loved one dying oh and does he know you wrote 2 documents about him? all the things u said about him? idc if he knows what i said about him LOL go ahead and excuse ur behavior and now ur both besties again?? lol good job covering that shit up

its totally not like yknow you both fucking fakeclaimed me in 2021 and then in 2023 did it again like good job being real guys and coming up with excuses for shitty behavior like its a thing to do like how tf would you two feel if i said that shit about yall

another reminder that uhm yknow ur a fucking hypocrite lying and saying shit meanwhile ur "communicating" is one sided and forceful + borderline fucking abusive also ur fucking ego needs a check up like get a fucking grip dawg

if you 2 fucking read these LOL i hope it hurt because both of you say i need help??? look in a mirror and realize ur romanticizing + demonizing ur own mental health issues AND failing to realize i have friends with the same shit and they learned to cope in ways that arent fucking abusive and actually understand me and let me talk and explain instead of silencing me, walking all over me, throwing shit out of fucking proportion, covering up their shit and everything else the both of you fucking did.

i despise you both and you both wish me the worst, like wow. whos the child here now? "i was the best u will ever have" you fucking went womp womp during a serious conversation and refused to let me talk and explain. womp womp right back at ya L + ratio too you skibidi ohio

get a fucking grip and wake the hell up. both of you act like children and then blame your mental disorders on it all. if you realize the fucking issue then WORK ON IT and dont expect your FP to be a fucking therapist to you because theyre a fucking person. theyre not a god, theyre not the healer to your life, they aint gonna solve all ya problems. theyre a person who has wants and needs of their own and suffocating them in all that responsibility drains their mental health, sanity and more.

also, i wasnt able to leave because of attachment. trauma bond, remember? my mindset of "i have to fix everyones problems" due to it all? yeah, thats a fucking thing. i was forced to be the ONLY PERSON HE HAD, ACTUAL QUOTE BTW AND DONT ACT LIKE IT AINT

both of you did this shit to me. pushed everything onto me. knew i couldnt say no or defend myself.

never fucking talk to me again, both of you are vile and have such fucking inflated egos its unhealthy as fucking SHIT. get your heads out of your asses

and just to mock you, imma end it with this

WOMP WOMP

[yoimix]

𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐬 | 𝐚𝐥𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦

series: yoimix christmas event !! (๑ᴖ◡ᴖ๑)

pairing: alhaitham x reader

synopsis: if christmas is the season of giving, then you’re giving up on both alhaitham’s ability to play nice, and your teetering love life.

prompt: decorating the tree + mutual pining + modern au

genre: fluff, e2l

wc: 2.8k

warnings: language, this is just 90% bickering 

a/n: holy shit i got derailed from the schedule but i finally decorated the tree with my family (and attempted fixing the busted christmas lights) so merry christmas, my sunshines!! hope you have a lovely time and a wonderful year ahead ❣️

Alhaitham is a man of many talents.

Choosing Christmas ornaments is not one of them. You’re not sure if it’s because he’s aesthetically impaired or if he genuinely never decorated a tree before—but shopping with him has been one hell of a nightmare. It’s a shame he’s been selected as the one to host this year’s Christmas party. Lucky for him, the good samaritan in you decided to help him out. (Even though he told you to not bother and ‘mind your own business’.)

Not because you’re regrettably in love with him.

This year, Fate decided to stitch you a get-along sweater from previous years’ antics because you’re stuck helping him. You couldn’t refuse when Nilou personally called you up to make sure the background for the Instagram posts aren’t downright grotesque (of course, she put it rather nicely but that’s what she meant). You’d take any excuse to see his handsome face and sketch a frown onto it.

“Why the fuck did you buy the yellow ones? They’re hideous!” You hold up the bells, colored a neon yellow with sparkly bits and pieces, and certainly not easy on the eyes. It’s borderline vomit-colored. You never know how he manages to pick the worst thing that has ever befallen your eyes every time.

“They were Buy 6 Get 6 free.” Alhaitham shrugs. How you wish you could knock the nonchalant look off his face. 

“You don’t go by deals when you’re decorating!” You groan, exasperated. “Now we have twelve of these ugly motherfuckers.”

“They were also the first I saw in that aisle,” he answers, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t understand why you want to spend hours and hours walking around the department store when we can get the job done in five minutes.”

“Well, you’re doing a very sloppy job, bonehead.”

“At least we could get to the decorating part thanks to my intervention.” He crosses his arms. “Otherwise, we’d still be at the mall.”

“God, you are such a—ugh! Fine, let’s get on with it.”

Alhaitham hums in agreement—of course, he never bothers to spare more words than necessary. That’s an invitation to you, though, to provoke him till you have his full attention. Call it childish but you enjoy the cracks in his solid stances.

Besides, it’s not like he cares.

What you have is not a crush anymore—it’s festered into something more vile, more self-serving, and more fun. It’s not like it was back in college, when you could quarrel to your hearts’ content over assignments and exam scores. You have adult jobs now and seeing each other is much more irregular. You never expected silence to be so full of disquiet. 

However, the Christmas reunion every year gets blood rushing to your arteries faster than you let on. There is no greater spectacle for your friends than you and Alhaitham trying to one-up each other over every little festive detail. Last year, it was a squabble over the Christmas music selection, and the year before it was about the photos not turning out quite so well (Refer: Alhaitham’s lack of aesthetic sense), and once it was even about who’s the better driver just because you decided to drive to midnight mass. Let’s not even get started on preparing Christmas dinner. At the very least, though, your friends get to enjoy extravagant gifts from your unspoken gift-giving competition. It’s not like you’ll let a man flash his dollars in your face when you earn just as much, if not more. 

This year, obviously, you need to coach him on style.

“Don’t hang that on the tree—oh Jesus, I must personally apologize to you for whatever this heathen is doing to the tree. I promise I had no part in it—”

“Will you quit babbling and try to get shit done?”

You scoff. “I’d rather swallow concrete than let you put that up. I’m trying to save all of our eyes.”

“I highly doubt you have the capability.”

Alhaitham may not be that interested in this but like hell he’d let you do better. That’s the sort of man he is.

“You narcissistic ass…” You mutter, standing on your tiptoes to hang the rest of the little gift boxes.

“My, aren’t you sweeping self-awareness under the rug today?”

“Go fuck yourself, Alhaitham.”

You can feel the smirk on his face even if you don’t look up at him. 

To be very honest, you’re quite comfortable with how it is. Any step further, and you’ll be falling and scraping your knees; any larger distance and you’ll be bored out of your mind.

“Not that.”

You pull Alhaitham back by his sweater, somehow uglier than yours when you’ve been winning ugly sweater competitions since age eight. Seriously, whatever Eldritch horror rendition of a llama is on his sweater freaks you out. Apparently his niece stitched it herself so you’ll cut him some slack. It’s rather sweet of him, even.

“If not these, then what?” Alhaitham sighs, holding back the little neon murderers of the Christmas spirit. “Do you want to leave half the tree plain?”

“Obviously not, idiot. I’ll fashion some dice into ornaments. Ooh, maybe I can wrap some fruits in aluminum foil and hang them. I’ll paint.”

“What a nuisance,” he mutters, eyelids lowered. You swear it’s your lips he’s staring at but that can’t be possible.

It must be a trick of the light. You look away, shifting your focus to the leftover fairy lights. 

“And- and I have ribbons,” you continue, pretending you never noticed. “There’s also some Kalpalata lotuses we could stick in the branches. That’d be pretty, right?”

“Mhm, yes. Very unique.”

Your eyebrows travel halfway to your hairline. Alhaitham furrows his brows at your stunned silence, unsure of what caused the reaction.

“That’s the first time you’ve complimented me.”

He rolls his eyes. “Don’t get used to it.”

Alhaitham’s serious response to your rivalry used to be your best validation. It’s not like you mind the occasional nice words though.

“Ooh, that makes me crave it more,” you tease, elbowing him as he purposely avoids your gaze.

“You get older but never wiser, do you?” He grumbles. 

“Then, O Great Sage, what is your wisdom tonight?”

Alhaitham turns to you sharply, leaning in just enough to make your breath hitch in your throat. You can’t even take a step back for fear of the tree toppling. It seems he’s effectively grounded you. The lack of distance, however, does not fall inside your comfort zone. Is it terrible that you can’t stop staring? Everything about him is so annoyingly attractive, from the high cheekbones to the perfectly carved lips. 

“I know you enjoy pushing my buttons,” he speaks by your ear, voice low. “And efficiency is not a key you’ve ever held. But let’s try, hm?”

You’re only cheeky out of habit. “Do you like watching me squirm? Pervert.”

Alhaitham breathes out, clearly accepting his defeat. “It’s five already. Everyone arrives in two hours.”

You shrug. “We’re pretty much done, aren’t we? Unless you want me put in an ice rink and a cocktail bar too, your highness.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. You’re starting to miss the biting retorts. “Did you check the lights like I asked you to?”

“Oh shit.”

The Christmas lights are at least eight feet long and you have no idea why he has these. This man does not look like he feels any emotion from fairy lights. They’re braided every five light bulbs, and much to your and Alhaitham’s chagrin, they flicker and die midway. They are pretty though, emanatinga. warm golden glow. Very  

“God, I could be out partying right now,” you groan. “Why did I sign up for this?”

“That sounds like a plan. Please do me a favor and go partying.” Alhaitham takes the plug out of the socket, sighing. You press your lips into a thin line and snatch the plug, testing out the wiring. It’s just a little puzzle to solve. You’ve dealt with enough home electricals in your life. You can’t say the same for Mr Paper-for-brains.

“Despite your looks, you’re somehow the nerdiest loser I’ve ever met.” You huff, taking out each bulb and placing bits of aluminum foil to ensure the connections.

“What, because I don’t spend my Friday evenings inebriated?”

“Alcohol could do you some good, actually.”

He meets your retort with a sigh and you take it as a victory. You’re not some child throwing a tantrum that willful ignorance of your actions will get you to feel remorse. 

“It’s already sunset.” Alhaitham clicks his tongue. “The clock’s ticking and you still haven’t rid your habit of messing around with every little thing you see.”

“I’m not messing around! I just wanna solve it like a puzzle.”

“We could just buy new ones,” he states, a deadpan stare directed at you.

“...Or we could do that.” You turn away, breaking eye contact. “But seriously, don’t you find joy in solving some problems the hard way? Like, you wouldn’t set fire to a puzzle as an attempt to solve it.”

Alhaitham pauses, lips parted slightly but he can’t come up with a retort. He’s probably just amazed at your exceptionally stupid example. Even if that was your attempt to salvage your ego, you’re not entirely lying. You wouldn’t be here right now if you didn’t have the tendency to take longer, more troublesome, and more scenic routes. Your original sin is never letting go.

“Cat got your tongue?” You offer him a sarcastic smile. “I know it’s not the same—”

“The way you think is quite fascinating,” he says quietly. “I don’t understand—I’m drawn to it.”

You swallow your own words. Out of all the possible sentences that could’ve come out of his mouth, that wasn’t the one you were expecting.

“You’re creative,” he hums, tapping his fingers against the couch headrest idly. “And you’re strange.”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from you.”

For the first time this evening, Alhaitham laughs. It’s dry, but it’s a deep sound nonetheless. You can’t take your eyes off him.

“Somehow, I can never understand you,” he responds, leaning back against the wall. “Maybe I never will. You piss me off.”

You let go of the lights and move to sit on the couch arm, looking up at him with a wondrous smile.

“And yet, you always stare at my lips. Are you so eager for the profanities that leave them?”

“I do not.”

A subtle snarl twists his lips. 

“Oh? You wanna kiss me so bad it makes you look stupid.”

“Do I now?”

His voice is raised, and he’s no longer leaning against the wall. This is getting exciting. You’d do anything to keep his eyes on you.

“Yes, and you can’t stand it,” you state your theory, even if you don’t believe in it. There are limits to the lengths you’ll go, but you haven’t reached there yet.

Alhaitham knits his brows, clearly soured with the exchange by now with his tense shoulders and deep frown. You quite like that look on him. Especially when he looks at you like that at this proximity. It’s an honor to rile up the Alhaitham, infamous throughout your academic life. You’re not so bad yourself.

You blow a raspberry at him. “Do it, coward. Kiss me.” 

“You know what? Fucking gladly.”

Before you can process it, a soft pair of lips push against yours, while his hands hold you by the waist to keep you in place. You give in for a flash of a second, before you pull away with a gasp. That was not good for your heart. However, you’re not the only one in dire conditions. 

Alhaitham is a sight to behold. His face is the color of ripe Henna berries—you’re not sure if it’s from the kiss or the fact that he’s still pissed off at you. You reach out to press your palm against his cheek, the gesture softening his gaze ever so slightly.

This time, you tug him in, the kiss hesitant at first before the two of you ease into it. When your noses bump, you hold back a giggle and you can feel him smile against your lips. Oh, you’ve never seen all these hues and shades before. You pull away, and he nearly chases your lips before his ego yanks him back by the collar.

“You liked that, didn’t you?” You smirk.

“Not a chance.”

“Then look me in the eyes.”

Alhaitham meets your gaze with no protest whatsoever, pressing his tongue against the inside of his cheek. Even in defeat, he manages to look like the arrogant bastard he is.

“Lying doesn’t suit you, sweetheart,” you tut.

Alhaitham raises an eyebrow.

“Tell me again, what you said to me at graduation.”

“What did I say?” You feign ignorance. At the time, it seemed like an appropriate response to him holding up his 4.0 over your 3.95. The goal was never just summa cum laude.

“That you hate me,” he answers, pulling you closer and closer till his mouth hovers above yours. “Tell me you hate me and call me a liar once more. I dare you.”

“I hate you,” you breathe against his lips, “I hate you so much.”

“Liar.” The smile against your lips is sweeter than holiday season. In fact, it might even be comparable to your rich chocolate cookies in ecstasy. 

You pull away with a teasing smile. “Have you been thinking I hate you for all these years?”

Alhaitham rolls his eyes to the side, completely ignoring your remark.

“You like me, don’t you?” Your smile grows wider, a sudden rush of schoolgirl infatuation filling you. 

“How in the ever loving fuck did you come to that conclusion?”

The sarcasm drips like honey off his voice. As if you couldn’t fall any further.

“Maybe you should kiss me again, so I can gather more evidence for a stronger conclusion. I wouldn’t go wrong with my hypothesis.” You lean in, grinning as brightly as the stars in the sky.

He hums, fighting back a smile. “Well, I do support the scientific method.” 

“Okay, so whatever feud you’re having, I’m on (name)’s side—oh.”

Kaveh freezes at the doorway. Surely, the one image he never would’ve conjured up in his head was that of you sitting on the floor between Alhaitham’s legs, his arms wrapped around your waist as you sort through your Christmas cards. And the two of you are laughing. Is that not cause for concern? 

“You know, when people are built like a coconut tree, they shouldn’t be standing in front of doors—oh.”

Cyno is your next victim, and his jaw drops less conspicuously than Kaveh’s does but it surprises him nonetheless. He swears on his gold star espeon card that he’d sooner expect Alhaitham to drop dead than admit his crush on you. No, even if he got over his emotional constipation, Cyno didn’t think you’d be at peace without pressing something to his throat. It truly is a Christmas miracle.

“Boys, can we not clog the doorway?” Dehya groans. “I get that this is the first time you knuckleheads have ever sensed emotion, but we saw this coming a mile away.”

“Oh, don’t be mean, Dehya,” Dunyarzad pokes Dehya’s side, causing the latter to giggle and wrap her arm around Dunyarzad’s waist. “Besides, you went into shock too when I suggested they might have a thing for each other.”

Dehya opens her mouth and closes it again. “You got me there.”

“Alright now, everyone,” Nilou stands on her tiptoes to peek over Kaveh and Dehya’s shoulders. “I set them up and I can’t see the fruit of my efforts.”

“You did what?!” You yell, getting pulled down by Alhaitham when you try to get up. Shooting him a glare, you get comfortable anyway.

“Oh, now you hear me.” 

You try your best to not look offended. Alhaitham tilts his head to the side, an eyebrow raised in curiosity towards the information Nilou just dropped. There’s no schemes without him.

“You just needed an excuse and I knew—”

“Nilou, please stop talking, I’ll buy you more shiba inu figurines.”

“No bribe can—”

“Broadway tickets.”

Nilou makes a gesture of zipping her lips. “My lips are sealed, your highness.”

Alhaitham sighs, resting his chin on your shoulder. “You do know that I’m aware of your advances? You’re not very subtle.”

Your jaw drops, offended. “I thought I was being sexy and flirty and mysterious.”

“You were literally none of those. All you did was drive me up a wall.”

“But did that work?”

“Yes.”

Kaveh makes a gagging sound. “If you guys start making out during Nightmare before Christmas, I will vomit all over you.”

“Did you pay rent or are you going to dirty someone else’s living room?” Alhaitham asks.

Kaveh looks away, whistling a note. It elicits a wave of laughter, and like dominoes, Christmas eve is set into motion. The presents line the base of the tree, the lights have been dimmed till only the fairy lights shine, and Alhaitham has started the hallmark movie after much grumbling. 

Maybe the Christmas spirit has some meaning after all; and you could debate this with your boyfriend, but it is the most wonderful time of the year to celebrate anniversaries.

[bonny-kookoo]

Mean (JJK x Reader) 💜☁️✴️🔞

💸 Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

💸 Genre: Mafia!AU, Single Parent AU!, Angst, fluff, Smut

💸 Warnings: bad language aka cursing, mentions of cheating, mentions of illegal business, manhandling and not the nice kind, tsundere Jungkook, it’s not like he likes you duh, guns, description of violence, restriction of movement and not in a kinky way, protected sex because dude he’s got one kid okay that’s enough, unconventional romance, choking, near death experience, angst did I mention angst

💸 Summary: Jeon Jungkook was kinda cute, you had to admit that- but he was also a massive douchebag with his head up his ass. And a cute kid.

A/N: First of all, I want to apologize to anyone I might dissapoint with this. I've changed up the story concept numerous times- and the first trailer is in no way a proper teaser anymore, since it has nothing to do with this story anymore. I somehow hope you still enjoy the story however. If not- I hope you'll stick around for future content!

Taglist: @drumsofheaven @yzkyzkuniverse @strwberrybtch @kirbykook @teresaisla @park-hera-gi @justzeera @taestannie @bambuzlee (there were several people I couldn’t tag- I’m sorry about that!) 

Jeon Jungkook was facing his worst enemy.

Now, considering his work and all those rumors going on about him, this could be anything really; from an entire army storming his house, to readying himself for waterboarding. But no, this enemy he was currently standing across from was way more vile and difficult to get under control. The situation was slowly growing desperate on his side- this was a life and death situation.

"Mina, come on now." Jungkook pleaded as the toddler vehemently refused to raise her arms properly so he could slip on her dress for the day. He could understand her, to an extend- he wasn't a morning person either, but he had to overcome this in order to be successful- and she had to as well.

Well, success was not really that important at her age, but getting her to daycare definitely was.

"Mina I have a meeting soon and if you continue to be a brat I can't send you off again properly." He tried, knowing how much she hated him leaving in a rush like usually. He'd promised her the day prior as he'd tucked her into bed that he would, this time, at least stay until her friends had arrived, yet he couldn't have known that this situation would occur the next morning.

Sometimes being a single father was way worse than anything he was facing at his actual job.

"There we go!" He cheered as she finally caved in, pouting a bit before she giggled at the silly face her father was making in order to get her to smile. He hated sending her off in a foul mood, knowing that she could be an absolute devil's child if she felt like it. In a way, she was very similar to him, which was to be expected with her mother not being in the picture. He didn't mind it much, however- a cheating spouse was not really what he wanted by his side, if he was being entirely honest with himself. It was enough already knowing that almost all of his 'friends' and 'business partners' were shameless liars. He didn't need to live and raise a child with one as well.

"Tiger!" The young girl cheerfully exclaimed, as the both made their way into the kitchen. It wasn't just a random comment from her side, because her chubby hand already pointed at the cereal box designed with colorful images on the counter, way too high for her but perfectly reachable for her father as he chuckled, balancing her on his hip as he prepared a small bowl for her.

"No funny business though, young lady." He said, as he sat down with her at the table. "We don't have to hurry, but we can't waste time either." He explained, as he watched her eat her breakfast with a concentrated face. He smiled at the picture, sometimes wishing this would be how his days would always start. Sadly, that wasn't the case- most of the times really, her nanny took her to daycare.

Which was another problem.

Her nanny had recently filed in for her termination, her age getting to her as she finally made the decision to settle down for her last years of life, she'd said. He accepted it without much resistance, having build too much respect for the elderly woman over the course of time by now. It left him with a gaping hole however, one that he knew he needed to fill.

But with who?

He couldn't just hire anybody for Mina at this point in his life. People needed to be fully trustworthy to be even given knowledge of his child at all. Most didn't even know she existed- the public unaware of her relation to him. He kept the facade up that she was merely the child of a close friend, just to keep her out of range of any potential enemies he had gathered over time.

His life really wasn't fit for a child at all, but what was he supposed to do?

"Y/N!" A small voice exclaimed behind you, making you look around from where you were cutting apples as the small child appeared.

"Mina!" You answered just as brightly, picking her up as she giggled excitedly. "Did you have breakfast yet?" You asked, as another daycare worker came inside.

"Yeah!" She said, and you looked at her surprised. "Daddy and I had breakfast!" She explained, as you placed her back down onto the ground. "He'ven brought me here today!" She said, and you hummed affirmatively,

"That sounds awesome!" You said, as she beamed up at you. "Why don't you go sit at the table, we're almost having our morning snack. You think you can eat some apples?" You asked, and she proudly nodded, before zooming off, stumbling a bit as she missed the slight gap of the door.

"He didn't come inside." Jenny said, as she watched the little girl sit down next to a boy her age. "I saw that he was sitting in his car, but she got out herself." She explained further, as you continued cutting the apples and making some cuts to have them resemble a bunny. "I swear to god-" She started, as you cut her off.

"We don't know what his life is like, Jenny." You said, as she huffed. "It's not our kid, it's not our life. She isn't unhappy, she's healthy, she's not mistreated. Case closed." You explained further as you discarded the scraps of apple unneeded in the trash, before rinsing the knife you'd used. "I'm not too happy about it either, but we're not her mother." You said, as you dried your hands.

Jenny sighed. "I know, but like-" She said, walking over to you to help you place the banana slices and grapes as well. "She's such a sweet kid. I don't know, but he seems like such a dick honestly. Like, have you heard his phonecall last week?" You snorted. Everyone did at this point.

Mina had had a minor incident, when she'd stumbled and fell. She'd scraped her knee, cried a little, but after a moment everything had been fine again. He however, had been livid upon finding out his daughter had been hurt, even though the scratches didn't even need a bandaid. Even though he'd only been on the phone with your superior, he'd made such a scene out of it that it became like local news around the daycare.

"I still don't know what the fuck that was about." Jenny exclaimed, taking a sip of her coffee as she kept an eye on the kids in the main room. "Like, yeah, she fell, but nothing happened." She said, and you agreed.

Shrugging, you grabbed some plates and napkins, and looked at Jenny. "Again." You reminded her. "As harsh as it sounds, you know me." Jenny sighed.

"I know."

You took back everything you had said this morning.

This prick had the audacity to keep you waiting for more than two hours now, without reacting to any amount of phonecalls you'd done by now. Mina was almost asleep on your lap, and you were angry to say the least. This was supposed to be your last day of work for a week, you were supposed to be curled up on your couch in nothing but underwear and fluffy socks, hidden by a blanket and eating icecream while watching netflix. You were definitely not supposed to sit here at your daycare until even the janitor was about to go home. "Fuck it." You mumble, carefully balancing the young girl on your hip as you grab your bag and keys.

You wave the janitor and cleaning staff goodbye on their way out, and take out your phone for a bus or subway that could drive close to where Mina's address is- but you notice there is nothing in her jacket written that you could use as one. You instead simply call the number written down for emergencies, and wait as it rings.

once.

twice.

"Hello?"

You are a bit taken aback by the voice on the other line, masculine, but clearly not as old as you'd thought he'd sound. "Uh, yeah, this is Mina's daycare, you mind picking her up these days, or not?" You casually say, Mina moving around a bit as to bring her thumb close to her lips. You internally coo at her.

"Shit! Fuck- I, where are you?" He asks, and you furrow your brows. Where the hell does he think you are, or does he seriously not know where his daughters daycare is? Wait, is that even her father?

"I- listen, am I even talking to her father or who is this?" You ask, and suddenly you feel extremely uncomfortable. This was a bad idea, what if this isnt her dad at all? You could loose your job for this!

"Yeah, yes. Listen I'm gonna send someone to pick her up alright? Should be there in an hour or so." He says as if frustrated, and you scoff, making him question you on the other line as if he was just struck by thunder. "Excuse me?" He says, voice low, but you're not intimitated.

"First of all, I'm not convinced. Second of all, and pardon my french, but are you nuts?! It's already way too late for her to be up, and I've finished my shift hours ago!" You complain, and he clears his throat over the line, clearly unhappy about your lack of understanding.

"Jeon Mina has a small beauty mark underneath her lower lip, she hates strawberries for some reason, and her biggest secret is that she is actually scared of unicorns. There, happy?" He grits out, and you chew on your lip. He was good. "Second of all, Miss." He makes sure to pronounce every word. "You're getting paid to look after my kid. If that's all you want I'm paying you extra for the inconvenience-" Oh boy, there we go.

"If I cared about your stupid money I would've called authorities hours ago, S.I.R." You start, careful to tone your voice down as to not wake her up. "And you know what, thats a great Idea actually! Let me just-" You begin, but he cuts you off with a sound that sounds awfully like a door closing.

"Fuck you, I'm there in 20." He says.

Jeon Jungkook was not too fond of woman.

That much was clear ever since he'd been cheated on and left with a kid, but it had always been like that. It wasn't like he was afraid of them, or didn't like them, it was more like, during his life, woman had been the reason for heartbreak and bad news all along. His mother had been an alcoholic, his dad desperately trying to get her back on track. His sister had been involved into shady business early on, a wild child that would do anything to get on peoples nerves. His aunt, which only ever visited to gain money. Women were bad news.

So his own surprise had been very prominent when he spotted you on the bench with his kid in your arms,her chubby arms clinging onto you like a koala. You seemed to be reading something on your phone, careful not to point the device too close to Mina so she wouldn't be disturbed. You were pretty, he had to admit that, even from far away- and you seemed like a confident person, from what he'd heard over the phone. You suddenly noticed him as he drove a bit closer, car tires crunching the gravel and snow underneath while his headlights shut off, to not blind you both. He stepped out, as you woke Mina up to announce to her that her father had finally arrived.

"Daddy!" She screached sleepily, running towards him with stumbling legs. He picked her up with a smile before he turned around, having every intention to buckle her up in his backseat as you came closer.

"Huh. Mind telling me why I shouldn't inform authorities about this?" You asked, and he huffed out a breath with a roll of his eyes, pulling out his wallet. You simply stood there, arms crossed, not at all fazed by the amount of money he held in front of you- you simply raised your eyebrow. "I mean, if money could talk I'd ask your bills, sure. But that right there isn't an answer." You replied, and he gritted his teeth, jaw clenching. Why were you being so difficult.

"Okay, how much?" He said, and you suddenly moved, shifted, as if absolutely offended by his offer.

"Do I look like a streetworker to you sir?" You said, and he closed his eyes for a moment, until another car seemed to pull up.

"You're getting picked up." He says, ready to step into his car as you look at him with confusion. "You don't know them?" He asks, and you shake your head, having every intention to check as he notices something familiar peeking out of one of the car windows. As if on autopilot, he rips his passenger side open, pushes you in, and runs to get inside the drivers seat.

There are shots fired, Mina is holding her hands over her ears as she simply stares at you, who is absolutely shell-shocked.

What the hell just happened?

So yeah, that's how you got here-

In a room that looked awfully like the interrogation rooms in your late night netflix crime shows. There was someone sitting in front of you- Mina's father, watching you, like you were going to do anything. But you were as quiet as a mouse, not saying anything.

"So you didn't know them? At all?" He questioned for the second time in the past ten minutes, and you shook your head. "Hard to believe. Then again, why would you ever tell me that your Dad's brother was sentenced to two years for escorting drugs- only getting two years because he snitched." He said, and your eyes widened.

"Okay what the hell-" You started, but he cut you off.

"Oh, I hit a nerve-" But you weren't having it.

"Oh an I'm gonna hit your pretty nose if you don't stop cutting me off!" You said, making him smirk. For some reason, this was quite entertaining to him- the only woman he ever had in here were so keen on keeping up that shy and innocent facade, that you were a breath of fresh air. "Listen, I don't know why you decided to dig up things that happened when I was literally a TODDLER- or how you even got that information - I swear to god I will really break your nose!" You ended as he had tried to speak again, making him chuckle.

If you weren't being held captive after getting your night ruined you might as well would've thought that was pretty hot.

"I was five years old- I had nothing to do with it, and my dad had no contact whatsoever with his brother after what had happened." You explained. "If you can find that, you can also find that I haven't had contact with my family in years either." You said, leaning back, as he spoke.

"I did. Which is quite confusing to me." He said.

You suddenly went stone cold on him. "It really isnt that deep." You said.

"Were you avoiding them?" He asked. "Because of what happened? Or because your dad got involved into something?"

"Because they're dead." You said.

Well. This was something that made him actually stop and think for a second. He did dig into that nasty part of your family, but he never looked further- their death was something he had overlooked. And by your reaction as you said it, the way you said it, he knew that you weren't lying. "Alright." He said. "But you do realize that I can't just let you go like that, right?" He said.

"Figured." You said. "So, should I stand facing against the wall or with my back against it so you can aim better?" You said, and he took a deep breath. Technically, yes, that would be a logical outcome.

"Neither." He said, and you raised your eyebrow. "I have an offering." He said, and your entire body went stiff, arms crossing in front of your chest. A pure sign of whatever he was going to say, your first reaction would be no. "I need a nanny for Mina." He said, and your lips parted, confusion clear on your face.

He almost thought it was kind of cute.

"You what?" You said.

"I need a nanny for Mina." He repeated. "It's a win-win situation for both of us if you think about it. You get to- in a way- keep your job and a bonus in terms of payment, and I will have someone to take care of Mina. And I also don't have to put a bullet into your pretty little head." He said, leaning forward with the last words.

"This isn't really a question, isn't it?" You said, and he laughed.

"You're smart- I like you."

„But that’s not how daddy does it..“ she wonders, as you tie her shoes for her, before looking up into her eyes. She really does resemble her father. Well, a more innocent version, that is.

„Well everyone does it differently.“ you say, well aware that there were numerous ways to tie a simple bow. „Your daddy probably has learned it from someone who does it like he does. I learned it from my dad.“ you explained as you went to pick up her backpack, carrying it for her as she took your hand.

„yours looks prettier tho!“ she exclaimed happily, a skip in her step as she kept looking at her shoes with a smile. You grinned, a sense of pride filling you. „Daddy‘s always looks crooked on one side-„ she said, before a voice broke through the sweet moment.

„You hurt me Princess. You always said they look nice.“ he hummed from his spot in the doorway, leaned on the frame, looking at you with something you could only describe as unsatisfied, while shooting his daughter a smile.

What the hell have you done wrong now?

This had been something going on for months now. Ever since you started working for him as a nanny, Mina had been nothing but a ray of sunshine- but he, he was not even a raincloud. He was the angry grinch miltiplied by a hundred, ready to piss everyone off twenty-five-eight. Somehow everything you did wasn't up to his standards; the way you cooked for Mina, the way you dressed her, hell, even right now with the way you tied a fucking bow.

You really hoped next time he washed his hands, his sleeves would roll down.

"There's an emergency gun underneath the back-" He started as Mina was out of listening-reach.

"I won't use it." You said.

Jungkook had tried to get you trained at least in the basics of guns- but you practically had an allergy to it, refusing to so much as touch one. He didn't quite know what your problem was, but after a while, he had given up on it- simply sending one of his guards with you whenever he could. By now, you were an easy target as well if found alone, so you had joined him in his place, occupying one of the larger guest rooms. He had said that it was to keep an eye on you, but internally, he simply didn't want you to get hurt.

And yeah, at first that was because he didn't trust you, at all- but by now, somehow, you had sneaked your way into his heart, in a way. Even though he himself would always grumpily comment on it, he loved how you made Mina smile and the entire mansion light up. Things felt a little brighter, a little less tense, and a little less lonely with you around. It felt as if you were an actual family.

And that scared the shit out of him, because in no way was he going to fall for his daughters nanny.

And, after all; you hated his guts.

If Jungkook knew the situation you and Mina had gotten yourselves into, you don't know if he would be proud of her or kill you.

Turns out that the guard Jungkook had sent you out with wasn't actually following his orders at all, but words from a different person entirely- you imagined they were highly likely the one's out to shoot you back when you first met the tall mafia boss and father. Now, the only thing they definitely did not get right however, was that you were Mina's mother- and someone Jungkook valued enough to give up his safety. This was true for Mina; the young child was his everything, and he'd cut off his limbs just to know her safe and sound- but you? That was just absolutely stupid. Sure, you've been living together for quite some time now, and he stopped trying to mentally push you down the stairs every morning as well. But there was nothing more than a mild case of friend- and partnership. You weren't being emo; Jungkook had, after all, said it again and again that he had crossed out the dating game. He's got enough trouble with Mina and you, he had said.

Well, seemed like one of those issues would solve itself.

"Again, what're you gonna do?" You say, as Mina looks at you from out of the vents above you had helped her into seconds ago.

"Crawl where the nice air is, call daddy- and don't look back." She repeats proudly, but you can see it clearly that she's just as scared as you are.

"Exactly, good job princess." You praise, and she nods with a pout. "Once daddy gets you, you'll be safe." You promise, and she wants to complain- but you don't let her, closing the vent again as you hear her shuffling away. This was fine. Mina would be safe, Jungkook would have one person less to worry about- he could move away, bring her to a different part of the country where no one knew her, and she could simply go to school next year and forget all of this ever happened.

You were just a bit sad that you'd never get to see it.

Of course you weren't her mother- but it was hard not to let her inside your heart, with the way she was. The charms her dad didn't have, she got them times ten. She was just so sweet, and you were around her all the time, it was hard not to somehow grow fond of her. You just hoped she'd be alright.

"Where's the kid, whore?!" A guard yelled after noticing you were the only one left in the room. You simply smiled, not answering, before he grabbed your neck, pulling you up as much as he could as he fumed. "Save that stupid grin for your son of a bitch at home." He barks, and you desperately try to breathe- unsuccessfully so, until he forcefully pushes you back down, the back of your head hiding the concrete floor with a sickening crack. You squealed out in pain, holding onto the spot for dear life as if that would somehow help it- but it didn't. "I knew sluts like you have to be tied up. You're all just trouble." He says, pulling you by your legs as another set of people come in, binding your legs and hands. You can already feel your fingers getting cold from how tight your wrists are tied- but you black out from the kick to your stomach before you can quite dwell on it.

"Fuck!" He yells, before he gets up, hands in his hair to somehow help himself not punch the laptop on his table. He's seen it, seen it all- from the moments you would shield Mina like a fearless lioness, the second you had lifted her up into the vents even though he knew your shoulder had to be in horrible pain, to the very moment you had faced the consequences of your actions. He hated that he had to wait, that he had to simply sit here in his office like a coward just to watch you take the beatings.

Because here was the thing with Jungkook; even though he liked to portray himself as someone who always takes the upper hand in things and troubles, when it came to his own personal life far away from his criminal business he ran, he couldn't seem to ever make up his mind. It was like a repeat of his past love affair- but instead of his ex-wife cheating and leaving him with a child, there was you, in some way fighting like a true lionness in order to keep said child safe and sound, even though you didn't even had to. Technically, this would've been the perfect opportunity for you to finally get your freedom back in a way. Because without Mina, there was no use for you being in his grasp anymore. Without her, there was no agreement between the two of you.

And yet there you were. And yet again, he simply watched, simply did nothing.

The entire mansion was already on high alert by now; his most trusted friends Seokjin and Yoongi already out to your location- he could wait. He could wait. He could wait.

Everything would somehow turn out to be just fine by the end of this day. He would successfully take his daughter into his arms, Yoongi and Seokjin would get you out of there, and after a good nights sleep and some first aid for you, things would just return to normal.

But what was normal at this point?

He didn't want things to continue like they did currently. He wanted change, for the first time in his life. He wanted to tell you about his inner thoughts, about his desires concerning you and his future. He wanted to tell you that he didn't just want you to be at his home and with him and his daughter just because of some stupid agreement. He didn't want you to stay with him because he forced you to.

His phone began to chime, your face greeting him as the caller ID as he accepts it. "Daddy-" His heart sinks down to the floor as he hears Mina sniffle on the other side of the line. He has to wait, he thinks, repeats like a mantra. He has to somehow calm her down, tell her everything's alright- "They're hurting mommy!" Mina wails, and somehow, those words make him snap.

Fuck waiting.

In a way, Mina was a smart kid. She had been nothing but understanding when Jungkook and her mother had broken up- divorced, and fought until she eventually left for good. She had been a little sad for a long time, thinking it had somehow been her fault; but he had assured her, and later on, explained, that Mommy simply didn't love Daddy anymore. In Daycare, she was one of the most well behaved kids ever encountered- careful, and calm. Of course she got excited and happy and sometimes made a mess; but she also was very careful who she interacted with, what kinds of friends she made, and how much she talked about home. She never complained, never threw public tantrums.

Jungkook truly was lucky- that the only thing left of his shattered marriage had been her.

He never had relationships after that- never dated, never truly searched for someone. No one, in his eyes, was worth the risk- and even after meeting you, that was his opinion. But as cliche as it sounded, you were quite different from anyone he'd ever met before.

You spoke your mind; always saying what bothered you, never beating around the bush. Yet, you weren't being a bitch about things. No, you actually could be pretty cute if you wanted to be- be it the moments he had caught you and Mina sneak a taste of her birthday cake in the middle of the night, or the one time he had been sick.

You had been such an angel to him.

Helping him towards the bathroom, never even scrunching your nose in distaste whenever he had to throw up. You simply rubbed his back, helping him towards the sink to rinse, just to lead him back into his bedroom. You had aired the room out, made the bed, made sure that he was staying hydrated and at least tried to eat every day- all without any complains.

Maybe that was the moment his perspective of you shifted into dangerous territory.

He had somehow become hyperaware of the things you did. How well you got along with Mina, how easy going you were becoming with him- how confident yet nurturing and sweet you were, gently scolding him sometimes to not overwork himself. You always made sure his kid felt happy and was healthy, never so much as whined about your past friendships lost; you had simply accepted the new situation.

In a way, you were what he silently dreamed of at night.

Because as much as he loved the sight of you holding Mina whenever she had a nightmare and couldn't sleep, he somehow also craved to be held throughout the night by your arms. Just like he held his daughter in that moment after she had climbed out of the vent into his arms. He could make out some of her words as he simply let himself feel her tiny body in his arms for a moment. Just to make sure she was really there, really alright, really out of harms way. She kept on crying out for you, for him to help you, to save you-

So it was only natural for him to jump out of his car and run after Seokjin, Yoongi, and their squad, as they entered the building.

Sometimes at night, when you got aware of all the different sounds of the room, you heard the blood rush inside your brain.

Just like now; but now, it was so loud that you could barely hear anything else. Things seemed hazy, fuzzy, your ears stuffed with cotton wool drowning out any sounds might happening around you. Your eyes stayed closed, light way too bright for your raging headache- and the stale metal taste on your tongue wasn't helping either. Your hands had started to tingle long ago, and your knees were hurting from being in the same position for this long. But the moment someone touched you next, it wasn't forceful. It was so gentle, and almost- scared?

You couldn't hear, but you could feel. How the rope was cut, blood rushing painfully into your hands and legs again, pins and needles making them hypersensitive as you were suddenly held- moved, carried?

It smelled like home, that was something your dizzy mind was able to properly make out. It smelled like Jungkooks mansion, and a bit like his office- a faint vanilla hitting your senses, making you faintly smile as your hand reached out, unknowingly grabbing his shirt, holding the fabric as tight as you could as you moaned out in pain when he placed you down again, warmth surrounding you.

Maybe you were dying?

Or maybe not.

Because after some hazy and confusing dreams, you slowly came back to your senses. Eyes opening slowly, there it was; the curtains you knew so well, the balcony opened, air crisp and fresh around you as the door opened. You wanted to move your head, but the fear of triggering another headache was too big.

"Y/N?" Jungkooks voice asked, warm, and almost hesitant. You hummed, and he snapped his head around, noticing that yes- after days of sleeping and slipping in and out of consciousness you were actually awake again. He walked into your field of vision, looking so casual; his white button up undone at the first two buttons, sleeves rolled up as he sat down close to you, palm on the blanket covering you as he-

smiled?

"W-" You had to cough a bit before clearing your throat. "Who are you and what have you done to Jungkook?" You said, and he chuckled, sighing in relief- you had, after all, not lost your charm.

"I think past Jungkook had a moment of self-reflection." He said, watching you as his hand placed itself onto yours, warmth spreading over your skin. "I'm glad you're okay." He admitted. "And thank you. For keeping.. Mina safe." He ended, and you smiled.

"That's literally my job." You said, and he got more serious.

"No, and you know what I mean." His voice was deep and rough, yet held no authority like usual. "You had chances to tell them who you were. That you had no connection to me other than through her; yet you didn't. And we both know why." He said, and you looked at him.

"There are more reasons than just one." You said, eyes drifting to his now empty ring finger on the hand resting on his thigh.

"Does it matter which one I mean?" He asked, and you wanted to scoff.

"It does to me." You said, and he shifted closer after a second, properly holding your hand now as he looked at yours- still a little scratched, but nothing that wouldn't heal.

"You did it because that's the reason you live here." He said. "You also did it because you adore her just as much as I do. And you.." He began, but grew unsure.

"And I?" You smiled, and he looked at you with his typical seriousness.

"And you somehow got stuck in an emotional mess." He explained. "You somehow, deep down, wanted it to be true." His thumb moved over the back of your hand as he spoke. "You wished that.. maybe there was more to it than just, partnership." He said, and you still smiled gently.

"Did I now?" You teased, but to your surprise, he was still looking straight at you.

"I know I did." He humms out. "I still do."

"You're stupid." You said, and he laughed bitterly, taking your words the wrong way as he slipped his out of yours.

"I know." He said, getting up to leave but stopped as you spoke.

"Good." You said, chuckling before coughing. "What, no kiss for me after all I've been through?" You giggled as his wide eyes stared at you. "Rude." You said, and he suddenly realized that no- you weren't rejecting him. You were accepting.

You felt the same.

Noticing his own awkwardness, he leaned over, hands supporting his body as he leaned down, properly placing his lips onto yours. You had never imagined what kissing Jungkook would feel like, but you certainly would've never guessed how gentle and absolutely loving it would be. One of his hands moved towards your cheek, holding it, as if you were the most precious thing he'd ever seen.

"Mommy!" Came Mina's excited voice, cries instantly noticable as she jumped onto the bed, burying her head into your chest as you held her, a few tears in your eyes from her jumping.

"Mina baby, be careful okay?" He said. But your words were the reason that he ended up tearing up, at the end.

"Mommy's still hurting baby." You said. "But she'll get better soon."

Not even during the first few magical months of being together with his past ex, had it ever felt like this.

He was euphoric almost; with the way you felt, moved, breathed. It all felt like so much to him, made him feel so.. He couldn't explain it. He had his hands on your hips, fingers careful not to press too hard, but having enough force to move you back and forth over his lap- his length moving in and out of your heat, making you whine, as he watched your breasts in front of him. You fit so perfectly like this, felt so amazing, managed to make him feel needy instead of the other way around.

He turned you over slipping out of you sloppily as he moved positions, now above you as he spread your legs, entering you again easily. He pulled you by your thighs, holding you in place as he began to thrust again, your eyes closing with every movement of his hips.

He loved the sight of it.

Deep down he wanted to take the condom off; he wanted to fill you up, cum inside over and over and over until your cunt would overflow. Not only just to claim you in a weird animalistic sense, but to also make his family complete. He had cut his ties to his illegal activities by now, had settled down with you- and he knew, there was no other person he'd ever have a child with again than with you. "I want to cum inside." He said breathlessly, making you whine in return. "Hm, you'd like that?" He asked teasingly, his thrusts gaining more strength as if to underline his statement. "Stuff you full of my cum, make you leak it and mess up the sheets.." He continues, hand reaching between the two of you to find your clit. "just to make love to you over and over again. I wanna make you cry." He gritted out, suddenly moving you around face down. He pulled up your lower body, entering you again, gliding in easily with the amount of slick you were leaking. "And you'd take it wouldn't you?" He asks, making you nod and groan out as he grows more desperate, faster, harder- throwing you off the edge but never stopping. "You're gonna take it until I cum, don't you dare move away from me." He scolds, holding you tightly, making you gasp out in overstimulation as he continues on, chasing his own high.

He reaches it with a loud groan, burying himself deep inside as he holds you, peppering kisses onto your spine. "I love you, hm.." He whispers out. "So good, so pretty.. all mine.." He huffs, simply falling onto the mattress with you in his arms, cock still buried inside you.

There was a moment of silence, until he spoke again. "I really do mean it though." He said earning only a tired humm from you. He simply chuckled at that, holding you close as he decided to maybe bring that topic up when the timing was a bit better.

For once, he felt like a normal person. Right next to you, in your arms, as you turned around to pull him close, burying your face into his chest.

Right where he belonged.

[wisteriabookss]

An Extensive Analysis of Eris

The recent excerpt from ACOSF has got this fandom spinning on it’s head because it includes a feral-smiling Eris waltzing with Nesta. As a result, people have now delved deeper into his character and whether or not he deserves a redemption arc (or an arc of any kind). 

So naturally, he has been compared to Rhys, because Rhys also appeared to us in the beginning as a cruel, cunning person, who was eventually revealed to have a bigger heart, and a valid excuse (at least amongst the IC) for his behavior.

I made this post to mainly catalogue all that Eris has done, analyze his actions, see if he indeed can be compared to Rhys, and to determine whether or not he should have a redemption arc. 

What We Know So Far

Our first mention of Eris is in ACOMAF, when Rhysand is explaining to Feyre what happened to Mor. I could put the quotes here, but just to save some time I’m gonna make a long story short.

Mor’s father, Keir, declared that she was to be sold in marriage to Eris. Eris is known for being cruel, and Mor begged Rhys to stop it. Rhys brought her to the Illyrian camp for a few days, and she decided to sleep with Cassian in order to ruin her “pure” image. Because she slept with Cassian, Eris refused to marry her. Said, “she’d been sullied by a bastard-born lesser faerie, and he’d now sooner fuck a sow.” Her family, although it’s not said explicitly, basically beat her, and then dumped her body on the Autumn court border with a note nailed to her body that said she was Eris’s problem now. Eris left her for dead in the middle of their woods.

Now, we’re going to look at what he exactly said during this event, given to us from Mor’s POV in ACOFAS:

“Don’t touch her.” Those steps stopped. It was not a warning to protect her. Defend her.

“No one touches her,” he said. Eris. “The moment we do, she’s our responsibility.” 

Cold, unfeeling words. “But—but they nailed a—” 

“No one touches her.”

A pale, beautiful face appeared above her, blocking out the jewel-like leaves above. Unmoved. Impassive. “I take it you do not wish to live here, Morrigan.”

He must have read it in her eyes. A small smile curved his lips. “I thought so.”

Eris took a step away. Someone behind him blurted, “We can’t just leave her to—” 

“We can, and we will,” Eris said simply, his pace unfaltering as he strode away. 

“She chose to sully herself; her family chose to deal with her like garbage. I have already told them my decision in this matter.” A long pause, crueler than the rest. “And I am not in the habit of fucking Illyrian leftovers.”

Now that we have Mor’s side of the story, we’re going to look at what Eris has said about that fateful day during a discussion with the IC in ACOWAR:

Mor snarled, rattling the glasses. “You never gave any evidence to the contrary. Certainly not when you left me in those woods.”

“There were forces at work that you have never considered,” Eris said coldly. “And I am not going to waste my breath explaining them to you. Believe what you want about me.”

. . . .

A frown at Mor as he drained his wine and set down the goblet. “I’m surprised you still can’t control yourself around him. You had every emotion written right on that pretty face of yours.”

“Watch it,” Azriel warned.

Eris looked between them, smiling faintly. Secretly. As if he knew something that Azriel didn’t. “I wouldn’t have touched you,” he said to Mor, who blanched again. “But when you fucked that other bastard—” A snarl ripped from Rhys’s throat at that. And my own. “I knew why you did it.” Again that secret smile that had Mor shrinking. Shrinking. “So I gave you your freedom, ending the betrothal in no uncertain terms.”

“And what happened next,” Azriel growled.

A shadow crossed Eris’s face. “There are few things I regret. That is one of them. But … perhaps one day, now that we are allies, I shall tell you why. What it cost me.”

A main takeaway from this is that there seems to be much more to story of what happened between Eris and Mor.

Does that mean him leaving her in the woods is excusable? No. Absolutely not. He didn’t try to take the nail out of her (which would’ve been the bare minimum), he didn’t alert Rhys that she was there, he didn’t do anything to help her. He started to make the situation even more traumatic by saying vile things to her. Whatever reason he gives for not helping her will be just that: a reason. But not an excuse. Those are two very different things.

Eris say’s that leaving her there is one of the few things he regrets. There’s something in that. I’m not saying under any circumstance that he should be forgiven because he feels guilty, thats stupid as hell, but it is showing that he’s not some apathetic, other-worldy evil person. There’s some semblance of a conscious in him. 

He also say’s that one day he’ll tell them why he did it and what it cost him. By what it cost him, I’m guessing he’s talking about the cost of ending his betrothal to Mor, because I can’t think of what he lost by leaving her there. 

I don’t think there’s been any mention of someone getting revenge on Eris because A.) Rhys told Feyre that, “Azriel found her a day later. It was all I could do to keep him from going to either court and slaughtering them all.” and B) her family was obviously going to do nothing cause they’re the ones who hurt her.

I’m not going to try and theorize what cost Eris had to pay. It obviously is something (or someone) important to him.

But to me, one of the biggest things we got from this discussion is that it seems Eris knows Mor is gay. That secret smile of his that had Mor shrinking, the way he says he knows why she slept with Cassian, and that he gave Mor her freedom by ending the betrothal without giving a reason . . . he knows.

He knew she was gay, so he ended their engagement, no questions asked. And then Mor was dumped in his woods, and he did nothing to help. 

Morally grey, indeed.

(P.S. To the person that posted something along the lines of, “I can’t wait to see Mor’s face when she see’s Eris dancing with Nesta,” . . . get help)

Another excerpt I wanna look at also happens during the recent discussion we’ve just seen, but it has to do with Feyre and Lucien.

“You hunted me down like an animal,” I cut in. “I think we’ll choose to believe the worst.”

Eris’s pale face flushed. “I was given an order. And sent to do it with two of my … brothers.”

That little hesitation before he says ‘brothers’. . . sus. That’s all imma say. (maybe there’s more than one illegitimate son in that family . . .)

“And what of the brother you hunted down alongside me? The one whose lover you helped to execute before his eyes?”

Eris laid a hand flat on the table. “You know nothing about what happened that day. Nothing.”

Silence.

“Indulge me,” was all I said.

Eris stared me down. I stared right back.

“How do you think he made it to the Spring border,” he said quietly. “I wasn’t there— when they did it. Ask him. I refused. It was the first and only time I have denied my father anything. He punished me. And by the time I got free … They were going to kill him, too. I made sure they didn’t. Made sure Tamlin got word—anonymously—to get the hell over to his own border.”

Where two of Eris’s brothers had been killed. By Lucien and Tamlin.

Eris picked at a stray thread on his jacket. “Not all of us were so lucky in our friends and family as you, Rhysand.”

We see another semblance of conscious here when Eris refuses to take part in the slaughtering of Jesminda. To even be in the same room as it. He then made sure that Lucien wasn’t going to die by making sure Tamlin was at his border. 

I’m not putting these quotes here to say, “Look, he cares about stuff , so let’s excuse everything he’s done.” No. There is no excusing any of his actions. Just like we can’t excuse Rhysand’s behavior in the first two books, or Cassian’s, or Nesta’s, or even Feyre’s, etc. But what we can do is see the reasons for their actions, and try and understand why they acted the way they did. They have their reasons, and Eris has his. (P.S. I’m not trying to compare what they’ve done, I’m just noting that they all had reasons to do what they’ve done, and they all deserve to be heard out.)

Comparison To Rhys

As I said earlier, Eris has drawn a lot of comparisons to Rhys. I agree with most of them.

This fandom has catalogued all of Rhys’s questionable actions like . . .

*TRIGGER WARNING: words like sexually assaulted*

Rhys sexually assaulting Feyre three times in the first book by drugging her, and then compelling her to give him lap dances in front of the folks Under The Mountain. He then displayed Feyre again in a sexual manner in the second book in front of The Court of Nightmares as, and I quote, “The High Lords Whore.” 

In both situations he could’ve done things so much differently. In the first book, he could’ve just, oh I don’t know, kept her in her cell? Or maybe brought her upstairs as a normal person?

And in the second one she literally could have been ANYTHING else. Everyone thinks she’s his prisoner, so why didn’t they go with that? Why couldn’t he have just dressed her in some raggedy-ass clothing, messed up her hair, and then tell her to act super stoic or frightened? Really Rhys, she just had to be your whore? (I know it was consensual but that doesn’t make her persona okay. He could’ve picked literally anything else)

Did he have his reasons for doing this? Yes. Does his reasons excuse what he did? No. You don’t have to make everyone else around you act a part just because you do.

So while we may not excuse Rhys’s actions, we can understand his reasons even if we don’t agree with them. Same with Eris. We know Eris has his reasons, and I doubt we’ll all agree with them, but he still has them.

Let’s also not forget that Rhysand made a deal with Eris and Keir that he would support Eris’s claim to the Autumn Court throne when Eris decides to kill his father for it. He also allowed Keir and his court to come into Velaris, and even though they’ll be turned away by every vendor, he still allowed them in. While he had his reasons for doing this (the Darkling army for ACOWAR) he still did it. It still hurt Mor.

Redemption Arc 

My biggest hesitation in thinking Eris will get a redemption arc is wondering where it would fit in the books for him to have one. We don’t know how if his waltz with Nesta is just a one-time thing or if it’s a result of a friendship between the two. The second book is supposed to be centered around Elain, Azriel, and Lucien, so that could also be a spot where he get’s an arc, maybe through a relationship with Lucian or Azriel. 

Either way, I’m not gonna bring down the hammer and say that he shouldn’t get a redemption arc. Tbh, the term ‘redemption arc’ kinda annoys me because it shouldn’t be about redeeming what was done in the past, but more about learning from past mistakes and taking the initiative to grow into a better person. That’s what I want for Eris. He’s not going to magically be revealed to be this super sweet fun-loving guy like Rhys. I don’t want him to be revealed like that either. 

I just want to see more of his character, see why he is the way he is, and, like i’ve said a million times in this post, know his reasons for acting the way he does. 

One last thing before I go. I’m not interested in seeing any relationship blossom between Eris and the IC, or Nesta, and I think it’s unlikely anyways. There’s a possibility for them to have an understanding, sure, but no friendship. I know there are some people who automatically adore Eris because they hate Mor and that’s just stupid. Mor isn’t my fav either, but I won’t cheer Eris on just because he hurt her. 

That’s all I’ve got. If you’ve made it this far, I appreciate you. Really.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I received an ask today about Jimin which I’m not going to post. I don’t want that type of message on my blog and I don’t want any of the readers to see that, although I’m sure you’ve probably stumbled on similar stuff, especially on twitter report accounts. But I do want to talk about it because it bothers me very much, despite not being surprised by it. I’ll add a read more and add a warning so for anyone who doesn’t want to read about such things, you can just skip it.

Trigger warning: mentions of sexual assault and sexual violence.

Despite a fandom being a tool for escapism, as well all know how good it feels to just ignore for a few hours how fucked up the world is, I’m not naive to believe that there are no bad actors. I talk about them all the time here. Fights and wars over who is a better idol/singer/dancer, shipping issues, you name it. As stupid as they sound, I know that this is how online groups talk and express their anger, hate, disinterest, etc. But one has to be the lowest of the low to wish for someone to be sexually assaulted simply because they hate that person. And it’s always Jimin the victim of such vile ‘’desires’’. People around the world and throughout history have been and still are victims of sexual assault and violence and so called fans of a fucking music group think that this is a joke, that it’s normal to wish this upon someone. Can’t they just say they hate him? Does it not bring enough satisfaction? And I know this is going to become more common as the military enlistment approaches. Because that’s the place and environment that inspired this horrible person to come up with such an ‘’idea’’. It doesn’t matter that there is a history of men in the military going through that, no matter what country or system. It happens, it’s a fact. But for these people it’s nothing but a joke. And one of the worst things that really makes me so angry is that it comes from adult women and young girls in this fandom. Because everything they said reeks of misogyny and homophobia and they don’t care. I would feel sorry for them, that they ended up thinking in such ways because they must come from a background in which this stuff is normalized, but I’m not going to excuse anything for a bunch of psychos. I’m done with finding excuses for women who to this day, would rather profit from it in order to express their hate for someone who they don’t even see as a person deserving of respect. Not for a particular reason, but because they’re human and no one, NO ONE deserves to be talked about in such ways. 

[hamburgerhelpersotherhand]

Infatuation P11

Joe Goldberg x Reader x Love Quinn

Warnings: Violent scene description, death.

Notes: Wow, this seems really out of nowhere to post. Anyway 🤪 I don’t want this sitting in my drafts anymore so I’m going to let you all know if I edit it before the next update. Just... take it.

I spent the better half of the day looking over my shoulder as I worked. Candace’s sudden reappearance isn’t going to be swept under the rug just like that... she’s a dead girl walking and I’ve never been a fan of the zombie genre.

By the time I was counting the money from the cash register, Love seemed to have grown a smile. Though, I could still see the sleep deprivation in her eyes.

“Will,” She leaned forward on the counter, perching her head up on her hand. “could we do something tonight?”

At that moment, I really wish I could’ve said yes. But... I couldn’t afford to get distracted.

“Maybe another night? I’m...” I thought quickly, placing coins down and counting.

“We need to talk.” She leans forward to catch my sight. About what exactly, I want to ask but before I can even get a word out, Forty walks in with his mouth open.

“Will, would you be a doll and help me with something.”

I don’t say anything, only thinking to myself: why here and now? Forty has some of the worst timing... and then I spot Candace. Right behind Forty, with a white smile I hated to see.

“Oh, Will. This is Amy.” Love gestures toward Candace and my stomach turns and probably does some flips while it’s at it. If I wasn’t so used to staring into the face of death, I would of probably thrown up by now.

But, there’s no way.

“She’s Y/N’s friend.” Forty finishes. I bite the inside of my cheek. No fucking way she’s here unprompted. I’ve been so incredibly meticulous about everything including my online presence.

I look to Love’s face and she seems to spot something.

“Are you okay? You look kind of pale.” What? She’s not going to ask if I’ve seen a ghost?

“Yeah— no, yeah. I’m alright.” I smile wide, wiping my brow as I do. “It’s just—“ I turn to ‘Amy’. “Is Y/N still in town?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m here.” She looks me in the eye. For a moment, I feel myself crack under the pressure.

Hold me back, I might just kill her now.

“What do you mean?” Love looks to her.

“I was supposed to pick her up the other day, but she hasn’t responded to my messages since.” Candace looks at me with those dead soulless eyes of hers.

So, she’s the mysterious driver. When did she start driving that type of car? Since she’s decided to pursue a career in stealthily ruining my life?

What the fuck am I going to do about her and what the hell am I going to do about you?

“Will,” Love suddenly says, bringing the conversation back and snapping me out of my thoughts. “didn’t you see Y/N?”

“Y— no. No, I know it was late by the time I got there, but I passed a bus on my way.” I remember the way your soft face felt in my hand. “Could she have taken public transport? Maybe a cab?”

“I highly doubt it.” Candace replies immediately. I’m sweating, but I’m trying not to lose my cool.

I finally finish sorting through the change, no doubt making some mistakes. But with that done and out of my way, I need an excuse to slip through the cracks.

“Listen, I’m sure she’s just disappearing again. You’ve told me she’s done it before, I don’t see why she wouldn’t do it again.”

Love shifts around, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes. “I’m calling Lucy.”

And there she goes. Love leaves the room after her statement, and I know she’s feeling worse. Why did you even bother coming back? You’ve literally disrupted everything in our lives... it’s going to be difficult to fix, Y/N. There’s no simple way around this, we just have to make it through alive.

~

Love remained in another room at Anavrin until it closed and the street lights turned on. She quietly spoke into her phone, observing the floor pathetically.

She spoke with Lucy openly, though she avoided the topic of your sudden disappearance.

The conversation eventually dies down, and she says her goodbyes.

“I need to show you something.”

Love sets down her phone and looks to Amy. She hadn’t noticed her enter the room.

“You surprised me. What is it?”

She continues once Love’s attention is on her. “I know we don’t know each other that well, but do you mind if we discuss it in the car?”

~

And just as expected, Forty’s one-off comment about needing help wasn’t easily forgotten by himself. I was dragged out of Anavrin rather quickly. Though, in a way, I appreciated the easy excuse to get away from such a venemous snake as Candace.

Forty never let up, no matter how obvious I made my lack of care, he remained just as motivated and just as annoying.

“Listen, this is probably my most prestigious and ambitious project to date.” Forty’s arm swings itself over my shoulder, bringing me in as he repeats the same garbage he always does. I’m glad to see that spirit remains.

“They’re wanting to make it into a movie, can you believe that?” Forty’s arm lifts itself, only to fall down on my shoulder like a pat on the back.

“I’d love it if you could... you know... help me out. A genius writer isn’t a genius without their ghost writers!”

That’s... not what that is, but I get his point.

When I looked at him, his eyes were wide and his bottom lip stuck out comically. He was pouting? No, it’s more of a puppy dog look. The lazy man’s pretty please.

I should have time for this, even if I’d rather stop by the nearest gas station and get you dinner.

“Earth to Will, I need you focused!”

~

Love wraps her arms around herself, feeling very out of place.

Amy continues to fumble with the lock, until she hears a click. She perks up and gives Love a nod.

The storage lockers were easy to access, surprisingly so. But none of this felt right.

“Wait.” Love says suddenly, halting all movement. “I don’t want to do this.”

“But you’re just a door away. Please, Love, you’ll want to see this side of him.” Amy pleas.

What side of him? The side that owns this locker she so happened to know about?

“No, I don’t. And I don’t care for it either.” Love says, though she looks unsure of herself as she fiddles with her bag. Perhaps a part of her would rather be unaware of something as vile as Any had dared describe in the car.

“Do you hear yourself? You sound ridiculous.”

“Ridiculous? Thats coming from someone with bold claims.” Love retorts. She catches herself for a moment, seeing a glimpse of someone she repressed long ago. She’s not that person anymore, she swore to herself she never would be.

Despite Love’s reluctance, Amy lifts the door up and pockets her bobby pin.

Hearing the doors roll up, you had expected Joe to step in. But he was nowhere in sight. Instead, you jumped at the image of Love and Amy, pinching yourself to truly believe they were really standing there.

You wanted to speak, to shout, to cry out... but your voice was far too gone. Your throat was hoarse and bone-dry.

“Oh my god.” Amy hurried, observing you inside the glass box. “You’re still alive— she’s still alive!”

Love remained silent, her jaw hung open in utter disbelief. Will... Will had told her you left.

He lied? Or Amy isn’t who she says she is.

But why would he? It... it must’ve been for a good reason, right? Will isn’t this kind of person, right? Maybe— maybe he got himself into something. Love clutched her keys between her fingers, her knuckles turning white as she focused her burning stare into the back of Amy’s head.

“Y/N. Can you hear me?” She says, hitting the glass.

You’re barely responsive, a mixture of dehydration and lack of nutrition hitting you all at once. The sheer excitement from seeing them took a lot out of you.

“We’ll get you out of there.” Amy states, turning her head to face Love.

Love jumps at her sudden movement, grip shaking as she stares into Amy’s eyes.

“Help me, would you?”

Love slashed her keys in Amy’s direction and she tumbles back. Without a second thought, Love does it again, this time catching her straight in the neck.

For a moment, Love realizes what she’s done. With the way you began to pound on the glass and the look of complete and utter fear Amy is giving her, it’s kind of hard not to. Love stares at her keys, stuck inside the side of Amy’s neck as a thick stream of blood flows downward. She grips her own neck, holding tightly as her mouth puckers like a fish out of water.

Amy doesn’t want her to pull them out—the keys- and Love notices that. But she does. She yanks the keys toward herself and watches Amy slap her hands down around her own throat.

She’s silent, surprisingly silent despite the gurgling.

Love watches Amy hit the ground and crawl toward her feet, all the while a pool of blood forms beneath herself.

When Love looks toward you, you’re curled up in the corner of your glass cage, arms covering your eyes as sobs shake you violently. She didn’t want you to witness this side of her, truly. But even more so, she had never wanted it to come out again.

However, Amy was a threat to the three of you. Love knew you were locked up somewhere, how could she not? She knew that Will— Joe- had done this in the past, but it could be different now— it could be better. A private detective isn’t just for show. But Amy didn’t have to get involved— didn’t have to go sniffing around and finding your location before she could.

When she notices you peek past your elbows, she feels her gut clench at the sight of the way you cower at the sight displayed by her feet. Watching someone bleed out is hardly a pretty sight and Love understands.

Knowing full well that she can’t turn back, Love wipes her keys and drops the rolled up door.

[sterlingarcher]

whats so funny is that my end of the argument when it comes to gerard and drawing the parallels of how i watch him being treated by people vs how i watch brendon being treated and my thoughts on all of it always comes down to “but i recognize and acknowledge these individuals humanity and see them as nuanced human beings who make mistakes and will not always say or do things that i personally like, and sometimes they will offend me. and that is okay. they are still deserving of kindness and respect.” meanwhile everyone who has attempted to provide some kind of counterpoint only argues that brendon is some kind of evil piece of shit, as though that detracts from the core issue of how openly lgbt people are treated and regarded by the public. its so funny, i literally made the point in that original post how people will see an out lgbt celebrity that they dont like and use their perceived moral failings as an excuse to be homophobic or transphobic, and here people are perpetuating that very same issue by attempting to label him as some kind of monster to justify why people would dunk on him. youre not helping, youre not adding anything of value to these social movements or conversations, youre just engaging in black and white thinking and caping for communities of people that dont even know or care about half this shit unless theyre incredibly online and rarely ever speak to flesh and blood physical humans. i can pretty confidently promise you that if you brought a vine of brendon singing along to a song that has the n word in it from like 6 or 7 years ago, or a video of brendon tipsy onstage like over a decade ago putting his foot in his mouth and lamenting that he “wishes he was as cool as black people so he didnt look like such a dork wearing certain clothes” to an naacp conference theyd look at you like youre completely deranged. i can also, just based on my findings, based on what ive witnessed, statistically speaking say that the majority of people who hang onto these things against brendon are, well, white. like im so serious every single person ive encountered who has whipped out that vine and that concert clip has been white. gotta say, weird world lotta smells. tons of things you people focus on that really pull back on the advancement of very real issues that need to be addressed and handled in this world. and you so often see people being like “i can worry about these things and those other more serious things too!!!” can you??? can you really??? cuz i see you talking more about shit that no one irl cares about far more often than i see you talking about actual complex current day issues that havent already been beaten like a dead horse. nobody is saying or ever has said that those behaviors arent ignorant or are acceptable, what were trying to drive home to you is that the behaviors and these issues have been fucking beaten to a pulp and overanalyzed and talked about to death. and not only that but have not been shown to be repeat offenses. yall are all about love and kindness and rehabilitation, but then the very moment its a celebrity you dont personally like saying and doing shit that you perceive to be a blight on their character there is no rehabilitation, there is no forgiveness, there is no growth and kindness, go straight to jail do not pass go do not collect $200. truly begging some of yall to get a very real grip. look inwardly and see the way most of your morals conflict with the way you choose to speak on other human beings just because you seem to believe that their money or notoriety negates their humanity. understand that a lot of what you say or believe is inherently hypocritical or has a greater impact and implication on the people that immediately surround you and see the way you talk on a daily basis. as i said, neither of these people are vile or bad, theyre just human fucking people. none of these individuals in question have ever committed any kind of crimes against humanity. at worst all theyve ever been is loud-mouthed and ignorant.

[amethystpath-writes]

Revenge of The Two Weeks (3)- that's right. We named it, folks.

Continuation of this original story.

Continued directly from here!

@tears-and-lilies @whatwhumpcomments

If anyone would lile to be added or removed from any tag lists, plz let me know! I don't mind either way!

Heed the tags.

******

The flaps of Hero's tent flapped in the wind, distracting him slightly from the task at hand. The commander was testing his strategy; he was testing all of the mens' strategy, trying to figure out who might gain his own title when he retired- if he ever retired.

Hero picked the tip of his finger up off of the map, replacing it with another finger on his other hand while he moved his first to the right side of the parchment. The commander was wanting to expand to the eastern part of the lands. Problem was the number of geological obstacles: craters, hills, ponds, and mushy swamp-like areas galore.

Sighing, Hero threw his head back. It seemed impossible. He eyed the blue flag closest to his right finger, picked it up, and threw it over the shoulder. There, he thought, Get rid of the bloody pond. If only it worked that way.

There were three blue flags, all within several hundred meters- realistically speaking- of one another. Very little room for our legions. Hero debated whether or not to fight on horseback. As great and obedient as the horses were, they were large and clumsy in close proximity. With little space, there was too much room for error. So no horses. That fixes that problem.

One yellow flag. The marshes. A big ole stretch of hard-to-walk-through mush, at least for a human. So yes to the horses. Or no? God, I don't know. The swampish lands would result in more army and artillery men's deaths than if a few horses fell into the ponds. Keep the horses. And that would allow for the use of their bows, which would presumably be an advantage.

The horses will require resting breaks. What would happen if they exhausted a bunch of them? Men would have to walk, which would exhaust them. That was better than all of the men exhausting themselves at least.

Hero bounced a fist off the table. This was so frustrating. He thought, now, maybe he wasn't cut out to serve under the commander's- and certainly not the king's- name. But he had to. Because fighting was all Hero could do. He wasn't good at anything else, but if he failed in this test of strategy, he was done for. He'd be demoted, become one of those scavengers of the army who were responsible for picking up dismembered body parts and burning them. How disgusting. How lowly. How vile.

"You kept the dagger."

Hero gritted his teeth together, jaw askew. He didn't need to turn to know who that was. "Yeah? It's my dagger. Just because you stole it from me then gave it back doesn't mean it hasn't always been mine. Of course I kept it."

The tent flaps were quiet, Hero realized. Villain must have been holding them still. It was with this information that he began reaching for his dagger, saying as a distraction of sorts, "Do you remember Grandad?"

Villain laughed. "Don't try to settle me with your old stories. I don't care about them anymore."

"You used to." Hero swallowed, adjusting the handle of his dagger until it felt just right.

Spiders crawled up his spine to the base of his skull. He spun, dagger held with the blade outward. This hadn't been his plan. First, Hero's plan had been to launch the dagger at the wooden tent post, just close enough to scare Villain. But now he was in front of him.

"Cute," his younger brother commented, and pushed Hero's wielding hand aside. "But I have my own." He hummed. "You give into me so easily. You ought not to, for your own sake. To me it's fascinating, but who knows when I might actually decide to slit your throat?" It was with this that Villain brought his own dagger to Hero's neck. "And what would you ever do to stop me? You already had the chance to both throw a blade at me and stab me with it. You've done neither."

Hero rolled his eyes. Villain was shorter than him which only aided in the harshness of the sharp dagger on his neck. His brother was pushing up at a cruel angel, one that Hero had to avoid swallowing against.

"What do you want me to tell you? You're right, okay? You're right. I have guilt and I hoped that I'd never see you again because of it. But you're alive." He took a breath. "It's up to you what you do with your life from here. You can chase me around crazily as you have been, thus driving me to continue ignoring you every chance I get. Or," Hero ventured, "we can work on reestablishing what lost relationship we had."

The knife cut in. Hero squeezed his eyes shut, let his nostrils flare. A warm trickle slid down his neck into his uniform. "You might not want to maim a trusted person of the Guard and Commander."

"Oh, I don't think that matters much." Villain cocked his head to the side, peering at the map left on the table behind Hero. "If anything, I'd replace you. The Commander likes tough boys, isn't that still right?" He sighed. "I know I overstayed my two weeks in the woods, but well..." Villain laughed. "After a wolf tore my friend and a six year old child apart before eating them, the woods actually welcomed me. I'd tell you where I stayed, but I promised the boys I wouldn't compromise them."

Hero's breath caught. "Some of them still live in the woods?" He tried to pull back, away from the blade, but Villain pushed it forward as Hero pulled back.

With a shrug, Hero's younger brother- who had been gone, presumably dead, for five years said, "Sure. Not all of them felt like returning to a place that couldn't accept them as they were. They found new families, ones that fought to keep them alive. They became brothers to one another."

"How poetic." Hero scoffed. "They should be brought back. They're not safe out in the woods."

The dagger slashed through the air, away from Hero's neck, but not straying at all from his shoulder. Hero hollered out, but Villain clamped a hand over his mouth before anyone else could hear. Not that it mattered. Like Villain said before, the worst that could happen was Hero lost his position, which Villain certainly didn't mind. Still, he wanted to torture his older brother this way for a little longer before he did anything too drastic.

"Funny," Villain spat, stance like a cobra ready to strike. "You didn't say that when you led us all to the woods before. Do you know how old the youngest was?" His voice was venom.

"Six."

"No, that's just the one who died. My friend who was also killed by the wolf was sixteen- just to give you a little perspective."

"Five, then."

"Three or four." Villain explained, "He didn't even know his own age." And then he turned to blame, "You left him in the woods. You took him away from his family, and you are the reason he's going to grow up always overexerting himself to please others, only to feel like he's never enough."

Villain bit his tongue to stop himself, but then said it anyways. "I'll be surprised if he doesn't kill himself in three or more years. He feels like a disappointment to himself, Hero, because a man he was supposed to look up to told him he wasn't enough and then sent him off into the woods- where he watched every horrific image you can think up happen."

"I don't know what you want from me!" Hero roared, and this time he finally did move to fully strike a blow on his brother. He shoved his shoulders hard enough that Villain nearly fell on his bottom.

Lucky for Villain, he was able to balance himself out before that could happen.

"I'm sorry, alright! I'm sorry that I failed the four or five of you-"

"Seven of us."

"-and that I was too cowardice to see for myself if you lived or died. I'm sorry. But I can't do anything to fix it except offer myself to you now. So that's what I'm doing, Villain. I'll be a better brother this time around. If you're looking for something, some sort of closure though...you're not going to find it another way. Because no matter how much you torture me, you'll never be satisfied knowing that I left you. That I created memory after memory with you just to leave you to packs of vicious wolves and hungry, lonesome bears.

"I fucked up, Villain, I know I did. But I can't fix it now. I was- and am still- just as scared as you were in those woods. Different scenario, but same, same hot-coaled fear. I'm sorry I wasn't as brave as I made myself sound. I wanted to be a role model to you, but I- I don't know, brother." Hero sat on a cot in the tent, put his head in his hands for a moment before looking up again.

"The Commander is a daunting man and I found myself cowering. You haven't seen him, Villain, haven't endured the training he puts us through, or the screaming he does- like we're prisoners of an enemy kingdom and not soldiers of his own. I'm not making excuses for myself; I know I was wrong. I know what I did is unforgivable, but I'm begging you, brother, please-" Hero kneeled, throwing his knees to the floor, tilted his head to the ground with eyes closed "-please try to understand."

A hand landed on Hero's soldier, but he kept his head down. He wished he would have opened them before, for a new pain bloomed in his shoulder. His mouth became gaped and he choked on the feeling, especially as it spread.

Villain twisted the dagger with a sick satisfaction. "I'll understand when you walk yourself into the woods for two weeks."

Twist. A sharp gasp. Ragged breathing.

"When you hear the deep growl of a wolf- deeper and more impactful than thunder."

Another twist. A pained holler and cry.

"When you watch the person who did everything they could to make you feel at home dies as he's immobilized by razor teeth in their leg. And when the teeth finally rip into the throat of a boy who doesn't want to die after minutes of fighting."

A plunge of the dagger. A wordless scream. A limp body- still breathing, but in so much pain that it can't even think of moving- against Villain's leg.

"When you wake up with your own bloodied fists and two piles of bones and drawn out, tattered rags beneath you- because you slept on a branch in a tree to avoid getting eaten yourself. When you spill every ounce of fluid in your body out into a creek because you're so traumatized. When you suffer the way I did...when you spend just the first week in the woods like I did, maybe then I'll try to understand."

As a finish, Villain yanked his dagger from his brother's shoulder and said, "You don't get to keep this one." He wiped the blood off on his pant-leg and walked out.

******

@badthingshappenbingo

Original Work

Knife to the Throat

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

frENEMIES, pt.5 {Quarterback AU}

Summary: Pride and prejudice tinted with fear are formidable when communication is weak and Grayson quickly realizes that fighting for someone who hates you is incredibly painful.

Warnings: angst, swearing

Part 1

"Why are you here, quarterback? All out of mindless goldiggers to fuck?" The words aren't gentle and neither is the way she glares at him and Grayson can't help but think how knives cutting him open would be more merciful than her. It's a hard pill to swallow, going back to square one after he finally saw who she is behind the facade. She was scared easily by love and affection and it made him wonder how deprived of it she must be to panic over the smallest inkling of someone caring about her.

And that fear quickly turned into a self defense mechanism she used to keep herself safe, to push people away by projecting her worst nightmare onto the. It's why she found it easy to hate him so much. It's why she's hostile now.

"Don't do that. Don't make me the bad guy just so you can use it as an excuse not to get close to me. It's not fair." Stepping closer to her, Grayson holds his breath in anticipation of her rage. It's obvious the deceitful nature of his visit rubbed her the wrong way but he just can't handle her hating him anymore.

"Wanna know what's not fair? Using the only fucking person I care about in this world to get me to talk to you! That's vile...giving me hope Amina wants to be my friend again? It's possibly the worst thing you did to me and you did a lot." And she's hurt, acting up on the pain she can't push down and ignore anymore. She's ripping at the seams and yet she's not breaking down, rather becoming explosive.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Grayson bit down on his lower lip as he forced himself to stay quiet until proper words could form in his brain. His tendency to speak before he thinks constantly gets him in trouble.

"I didn't know you guys weren't friends anymore."

Snorting, she shakes her head and finally takes a step back from the door, the danger of her slamming the door in his face and breaking his nose significantly lessens.

"I'm sorry." He continues, hoping it's the right thing to say as he takes that first step into her dorm, his eyes trained on her back as her shoulders tense and he knows he had made a mistake again. Perhaps he should have kept his mouth shut and let her talk first, but he just can't see her so hurt.

"Why do you care?" She spins around so fast that he flinches when she raises her voice, her eyes dark hooks for his soul - captivated by her raging storm. Humans have always been fascinated by the darkness and Grayson quickly found himself lost in her - the epitome of abyss.

"Huh? What's you angle here?!" Her eyes are narrowed and her nostrils flared and he can't help but believe she will never look at him with love he desires. He just wants her to see him for who he is, to care about him like he always cared about her.

If he never cared, he wouldn't have made sure no guy breaks her heart like he did with Mike and several others. He'd have let Mike do what he intended to do, but it was Y/N...his Y/N, his drunken dream from the first frat party he went to. So maybe, just maybe it's time he sees it for what it is - she hates him and always will. If she sees a villain in him, maybe he should let her.

"Angle? I quite prefer the back one, but with you?" Rubbing his chin as a cold smile creeps up on his lips, Grayson continues even if it will make it all worse. "I'd prefer you on your back so I can see you in all your glory."

But instead of her screaming at him, she just nods, averting her eyes to the door behind him as she held her breath - the only possible way she could control the sob that wanted to rip out from under the pressure inside her chest.

"So that's it, huh? Just some prank you wanted to pull? Was it some bet to sleep with me and break up the next day?" She's trying so hard to keep herself poised, to save herself of humiliation of crying in front of Grayson fucking Dolan, but it's hard when her entire body starts to shake, trembling like she's a leaf in the unforgiving autumn wind. She can feel tears rushing to her eyes, blurring her vision of the most handsome man she ever met, regardless of how it all turned out.

She always knew who he is, so why did it hurt so bad to know she's right? Perhaps, because for a moment, just a single moment, Y/N thought she saw past the quarterback facade and found an actual human being worth of forgiveness and love. And in that moment she trusted him, as fleeting as that trust was.

"You really think that low of me?" But the dejected tone Grayson used didn't fall on deaf ears. She didn't know why he felt so insulted, nor sad about her opinion of him. After all, everyone he meets instantly loves him. Why would he care about her opinion when she's clearly been a game to him?

His jaw is clenched and his hands are too, but his shuddered breath still gets her heart to skip a beat and her mind to wonder if this is just a new mask he's put on to push her away or if he's finally showing his true colors.

"What else am I supposed to think? Did the stakes get higher when you found out I'm a virgin? You didn't give a shit about me before, so don't hurt your pretty little head thinking about me now." Pushing her hands in the back pockets of her jeans, she glanced at the door and he took the hint.

The lump in his throat is making it hard for him to speak, but even if he wanted to say something she wouldn't listen. Her mind is made up and he is not going to win this argument where she's both the judge and the jury.

He saw that now.

"As you wish." And with a sarcastic curtsy, Grayson left his Satanic majesty alone as she claimed she wished to be.

Little did he know how she spent the next half an hour frozen in her spot, staring at the door he slammed upon his leave, just waiting - waiting for his scent to fade so she could break down in tears again.

Tags: @strangerliaa​ @mendesficsxbombay​​ @beinscorpio​​ @peacedolantwins​​ @dolandolll​

PART 6

[3xc3lsior]

honey, that’s how it sleeps

An Alfie/Tommy drabble. Also posted on AO3 as Excelsior10

Gen., Explicit Language 

“You wrote me a letter, Alfie.”

“Did I?” 

“Yeah, you asked about your dog.”

The letter had no return address. That’s what first gave him pause, made him put the phone down with a clank onto the receiver, made the blood rush cool through his veins. He remembered the last obscure piece of mail he had received, the inky stamp inside of it, the mark of death. He saw John, in his mind’s eye, blue in the morgue. On the front of the parchment, it read TO THE GYPSY KING in a tight, printed font. He sat in the leather chair, slit the letter open with the knife in his pocket. And he recognized the writing before he made out the words.

Tommy,

Here’s the thing, right, and you might have guessed it by now. Hope you’ve done, seeing as I’m the one with the new orifice they had to sew up like a child’s ravaged ragdoll and if anyone in this particular situation has an excuse for not picking up on subtitles, best bet would be on me: I aren’t fucking dead. You scraped your shot, you bloody Bum bastard, and now thanks to your slippery fingers I’ve got meself significantly reduced vision and you know what? I’d still make that fucking shot. A bloke’s gotta do every fucking thing hisself if he want’s it done right, isn’t that the truth of it. That was my mistake, putting faith in a specky little tosser like yourself, just figured, well, the fucker got Sabini between the eyes with a bullet in his chest, can’t imagine he’d fail to follow through- the fuck was that about, anyway, Tommy? Cat’s got your trigger now, as well as your tongue?  Sentiment is for fools and children, boy.

Your mistake was not upholding your end of our deal, which was a simple one at that, difficult to fucking misinterpret. You shoot me in the head, right, and then take care of my dog, which is the least a man can do. It’s fucking code, isn’t it. Forgot too that you gypsies don’t hold nothing sacred. Mine other mistake. I’m assuming the worst of you per previous experience (really, you should be fucking practicing your aim or summat instead of spending all your time piddling your money away on fancy things) I’d say not to take it personally, but you really ought to, mate.  

I’ve spent quite a lot of time considering whether I should send some men round for you, but I will admit, there is one looming doubt, and I’ll tell you what it is. It is a very slim chance, right, I’d wager there’s a higher probability of me having already descended and am sat here stewing over possible revenge in the underworld, that you do actually have my dog. But if I’m not yet in hell and I didn’t want to be even more fucking certain that I was headed there, I can’t very well do that, can I, on accounts of you being such a poor fucking shot, because you might likely end up hitting my fucking dog instead, and then his blood would be on mine hands. I’d say we have enough of that already, you and me, Tommy. Wouldn’t you?  

Look after my dog. Go and fucking find him if needs be. You owe me an eye, and the moment I can rise from this godforsaken bed, I expect you to come and deliver it. And tell my nurse I despise chamomile, vile shit, that is, makes a man wish you’d shot out his tongue instead. If you’re dead by now, punch my father in the nose, from me. Or hit him with something you don’t have to aim too much. A plank or summat, if they have those down below.  

Not entirely kind regards,

Solomons

P.s- even if it is hell I’m in, I awoke on home’s doorstep.  

P.s.s- Cyril is partial to black pudding.  

Tommy read the letter twice, had to, because he was so stunned. He had shot Solomons through the fucking face, whatever criticisms the ghost had thrown at him, it was simply… impossible. It was impossible. He read it once more, let out a short huff of breath as he reached the end. Then he shook his head, rustling the letter in his hands like that would tell him what to do with it.

“Fucking Alfie,” he muttered, under his breath, half a curse and half admiration, and shut the letter in a drawer.