#and surprisingly I find myself draw to the middle evolution the most

[zodiac-entertainment-system]

Oh, dang. I think my fursona is a Floragato now. One more Pokemon in this system.

-Alex

[anoiini]

Classified (Part 3)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader

Summary: When  an important mission is given to her, Y/N has to reconnect with her past by helping a man she never thought she would meet

A/N:Yaaay i’m back. Soooo, i’m pretty proud of how it turned out and i can’t wait to write the next chapter. Hope it will come sooner this time aha but i finished school so i will have more time to write. Tell me what you thought about it! Please! Bisous! (You can find the rest of the fic and the masterlist with the #classified on my blog) 

Words Count: 7.4k (buckle up guys it’s a long ride) 

Warning: not so much at the beggining it’s kind of soft most of the time. But a bit of angst at the end. A little bit of swearing. I’m talking about a dress, i had a pic linked but i forgot links in posts don’t make them appear in the research so yeah sorry for that, imagine it just like you want, i don’t discribe it so imagine your own dream dress. I’m french so there’re probably a lot of grammar mistakes sorry! 

(my gif!)

A couple of days had passed since Y/N and Steve had meet. During their first meeting she had explained how it was going to be, why she was here, and the best way to help him.

“We’ll go slowly at the beginning, you know step by step” she had said to him.

He had asked a few questions, just some random ones that were going through his mind at the moment. Steve felt surprisingly really comfortable around her, he felt like he knew her for so long, even though he had only met her.

It was still a strange situation for Y/N, she was still waiting for someone to tell her it was a joke, a bad one, or at least a dream. That the man in front of her was the product of her imagination, she was having a breakdown and was imagining everything. All that was more believable than a man coming back alive from the ice 70 years later.

 Y/N was mindlessly playing with the necklace around her neck, a simple gold chain with a little sun as pendant.

“Are you okay?” Steve’s voice snapped her off of her daze.

“Yes, yes sorry, got a bit lost in my thoughts” she smiled softly at him.

They had agreed to meet only when and if after reflection he still wanted her help. It had surprised y/n to hear from him only two days after that. They had decided to meet at a small café Y/N was used to. 

On their way there, Steve was talking about all the things that had changed and some that had stayed the same in the borough. Every place or streets reminded him of some anecdotes. Alleyways where he was bitten up, shops where he used to go with his Ma like he said. Him and his best friend James Buchanan Barnes, Bucky, were always part of his stories. She had listen to him all the way, a smile on her face. He had apologized multiple times saying that he was talking too much, she would always brush him off, saying that it was okay, she was here to listen.

A few moments of silence would follow before he’d start again after seeing something reminding him of another story. Y/N felt like a kid again, it was just like another chapter to her bedtime tails.

“What were you saying?” she asked the former soldier sitting in front of her taking a sip of her coffee.

“I went out yesterday”

The young woman looked at him over her cup and put it down on the table, living her hands on it to keep them warm. She was about to speak when he extended his hands, stopping her before she could say anything

“I know, I should not go out alone, without anyone knowing, but I thought I would just, you know, try to see the world by myself, if I could do it alone.” He stopped talking for a moment, all his attention on his cup in front of him

“And?” Y/N pushed him a little to continue after a few seconds of silence.

“I realized I still had a million questions that needed answers, and I would be an idiot to refuse some help” he finally looked up to her, a hesitating smile on his face.

The woman gave him one of the warmest smile he’s ever seen, he still couldn’t place what was up with her, why it seemed so easy to be around her.

“And that’s exactly why I’m here” she said beaming “Shoot any question you have in mind, I’ll try my best to answer them”

It was such a strange situation for Y/N, she didn’t even recognize herself, all smiley and happy.Not that she wasn’t usually happy or smiley, it just felt too much for her, but she couldn’t help it, she lost every sign of common sense when she was around Steve, all she wanted to do was talking to him for hours, asking him so many questions about his life, if the stories she heard as a child was true, how her grandfather was when he was young.

Telling him who she was, telling him everything.

But she couldn’t just tell him all of that right now, it was too early for the poor man to know all that. She couldn’t just come and say “Hi, you know actually I am your old friend’s granddaughter and you first love kind of raised me when my father, Howard’s son, couldn’t get his shits together and do that when my grandparents died. Any questions?” Really not the smoothest way to tell all that. So the best way to hide all this for now was to smile and act happy, and answer all his questions and avoiding as much as possible any questions related to her life.

The morning passed quickly with Steve asking her multiple questions about what he saw, the evolution of technology, the cars and phones. Y/n tried every time, to explain everything as much as simply as possible.

“Oh, and I wanted to ask you if you knew what it was” he said looking for something in his pocket.

He took out a piece of paper and unfolded it on the table.

“I was sitting at a coffee in Manhattan, and there was this huge tower, really modern I’d say, and the waitress talked about iron, I don’t remember the name she said”

“Iron Man” Y/n cut him off. She was watching the paper on the table, a beautiful drawing of the city buildings and in the middle the Stark Tower.

“Is it related to Howard?”  Y/N’s head jerked up at the name, they would talk about those subjects way sooner than she had expected.

She looked back at the drawing, deciding what she could say, was he ready to know the truth? Was she ready to tell it?

“Yes” she finally said “I mean, yes and no. His son, Tony Stark, built the tower, he owns Howard’s company now”

“Howard had a son?” Steve asked surprised

Y/N chuckled, she had heard her grandfather’s adventures with the ladies back in the days, and how her grandmother, Maria, changed the man.

A silence fell between the two, Steve had a sad expression on his face.

“Is Howard- ?” he didn’t have to finish his question, Y/N already knew what he wanted to ask.

“I’m sorry” Y/N simply answered.

She waited for him to talk again, not wanting to startle him.

“What happened?” he asked after a moment

Y/N took a huge inspiration before answering his question. She never talked about that, she always tried to avoid the subject. Well it was quite easy to avoid it since one of the only person knowing the truth was her father and he was avoiding the subject just as much as her, if not even more.

“Him and his wife, they had a car accident many years ago” she paused, letting him processing the information “Their son took back the company after that… Howard founded SHIELD you know, along with Peggy Carter”

It was Steve’s turn to react to the name. It felt like yesterday for him the last time he saw her, spoke to her when he thought he would never be with her ever again, he thought he had said his last goodbyes to her. For him it felt like yesterday, but for her, many years had passed, god knows what happened to her, Steve was not part of her life anymore.

“I could ask for her information you know, so you could contact her”

She was still alive. Steve had feared to ask that question. But he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t come back to her after all those years.

“Does she know about me?”

“I don’t think so, we’ve been waiting for you to make the decision”

Actually, it was Y/N who was supposed to tell Peggy about the situation. Fury had brought the subject on their first meeting, the night he came to her apartment, and she had told him she’d be the one to tell her. She didn’t want anyone else but her to tell that news, it was not something easy, no one knew how she would respond to the news in her condition. Peggy had been in a good phase recently, with no episodes of memory loss for a long time, and everyone who would come to see her had to be real careful about what they said not to trigger her in any way.

Y/N still didn’t even know how she would tell the news, and she was dreading the moment it’d happen.

“I’ll think about it” Steve finally said.

Y/N gave him a sympathetic smile, knowing too well what was going on into his mind.

“It’s a really beautiful drawing” Y/N said nodding to the piece of paper between them, taking a sip of her drink, changing the subject.

“Thanks” Steve smiled “I tried my best to make that ugly thing look nice”

Y/n chocked on her drink, was he really calling the Stark Tower ugly?

The Stark Tower was Tony and Pepper’s new crazy project. They had started to build it after the events of the last Stark Expo, and of course after fixing everything. The city wasn’t so happy with Tony, and the tower was his way to make everything a bit better, him and Pepper wanted it to be an example for the future. It was about to become the first building of New York functioning with only clean energy, and hopefully not the last.

Y/N was most of the time at her father’s, helping him or just trying to be there to reconnect with him after everything that had happened, so naturally she had helped with the tower, not too much, just with some design ideas or when Tony needed her brain for some new fancy technology to add to the building, it was fun, she’d actually loved every minute of it. Being able to share those moments together had been really beneficial for their father-daughter relationship.

So hearing Steve calling the tower ugly was not something she expected.

  -------

Y/N had finally decided to pay a visit to Peggy, Aunt Peggy like she used to call her as a child. She’d come to D.C. where the former agent was living in a retirement home. She had thought a long time how she would break the news to her, but nothing felt right.

She stepped into the hall and made her way to the desk. She knew well the nurse in charge of welcoming the visitors that day, her name was Lucy, and she had taken good care of Peggy for a few years now.

The nurse gazed off of her computer, and she smiled at the woman making her way to her.

“Y/N! It’s been a while” she said standing up and giving her a hug.

“I know, I’m sorry, you know with work and everything” she started rambling to find a good excuse, even though she knew she could have taken some time to come and visit

“It’s okay” Lucy brushed her off, squeezing her arm affectionately

“How is she?”

“She is pretty okay, no episodes recently, Mary came to visit last month and everything went well”

The young Stark seemed surprised to know that Peggy’s daughter had come to visit without telling her, they’d usually meet every time she travelled from London. But after the recent events, she surely thought the Starks needed some calm.

She made her way to Peggy’s room after talking for a few more moments with Lucy. When she entered the room the former SHIELD agent was sitting on a chair, facing the window. She looked so calm, the morning lights making her grey hair slightly glow. She was not the great agent that she was decades ago, but she still had that fierce in her eyes, also a certain tenderness she only kept for the people she deeply cared for.

It had been so long they didn’t see each other, Y/N was fearing Peggy could had forgotten about her.

She took a chair that was in a corner of the room and made her way to sit in front of the older woman, who, when she saw Y/N, gave her the sweetest smile.

“Hi love, it’s been too long” came the British accent.

Y/N returned the smile, relieved she was still in her mind.

They talked for a couple of hours about their lives, Peggy asked a few questions about Tony, who’d not came to see her for so long she was about to take it personally, she said. But she could feel something was bothering Y/N, she squeezed her hand.

“Is everything alright love?”

Y/n locked her gaze with her, it was time, she had to tell her.

“I have some important news to tell you” she stopped and took a big inspiration.

“He is alive”

The older woman’s eyes started to widen in shock. She knew what those words meant. She had waited all her life to hear them. She starred at the window once again, a look of sadness and melancholia on her face.

Y/N took her hand again, stroking the back of it gently.

“Hey, are you okay?” she asked softly.

“Tell me” she simply said in response, still not looking the young woman in front of her.

Y/N explained to her everything she knew, how he was found in the ice, the serum keeping him alive, and young. How Fury had assigned her to help him. How he was dealing with everything.

“I still didn’t tell him who I was, that I knew you. I just thought it would be too much to take. I just need to find the right moment” she sighed.

Peggy finally looked a Y/n “Did he ask about me?”

“Yes, I’m sure he’ll want to see you soon” she said in a hopeful tone.

“I’m sure she needs time” she simply said

She then slowly pushed herself out of her chair and made her way to her bed. Y/n helped her getting into bed and stopped when Peggy took her hand, tapping the back of it.

“Take care of him love, alright?” she said with a soft smile

Y/N simply kissed her cheek and squeezed her hand in return. On her way to the door she noticed a frame on the bedside table, a black and white photo of a young skinny soldier.

 -------

 A few weeks had passed, and Y/N and Steve were still meeting regularly, either for a coffee, visiting the city, museums or just simple nights catching up on movies from the last seven decades.  

Steve felt more and more comfortable around Y/N and considered her a friend, she was the only person he trusted in this new world. On the other hand, Y/N went deeper and deeper into lies and felt guiltier every day. She also had started to take a liking to the man and she knew he trusted her. Many times she had wanted to tell him the truth “my real name is Stark”, “Howard is my grandfather”. But every time she would chicken out and promise herself to tell it another time.It has been a month already, and it felt too late now to tell him.

In a corner of her mind, she told herself she was not supposed to be friend with him, he would never be a part of her life, so lying about that, just like she  always did with everyone, was not supposed to bother her, it was part of the mission. But just like she had said to him, he was not just a mission, he was more than that. He deserved the truth. In a way she was a part of his past, and he deserved to know it.

It was late in the afternoon when Y/N and Steve were both sitting on his couch, him drawing, and her reading some newspaper, searching for something to do the next day. A comfortable silence had settled between them, the only sounds coming from the scratch of his pencil on paper and some light jazz music in the background.

They would found themselves doing that often, just enjoying each other’s company. It had started one day where Y/N had met Steve at his apartment to find him totally demoralized. It would happen sometimes, you can’t expect for someone to be always fine in that situation, even for a super soldier. At the beginning he would ask her to meet another day, but not that time. He had just simply asked her to stay. They had stayed for a moment in silence, and had ended up watching a movie, still not exchanging any words. She had not wanted to push him to anything, he knew she was here for him, if he didn’t want to talk, she wasn’t going to do it first. He had been just glad she was here, it was at that moment he had realized he could count on her for anything.

“Did you get to see the Wizard of Oz when it came out?” Y/N’s voice rose from the silence

“Yeah, I brought my ma with me, I had saved some money so I could offer that to her.” He answered not looking up from his drawing.

“Would you like to see it again?” she sat herself closer to him, putting the magazine over his sketchbook “There’s a screening here in Brooklyn in two days. I’ll offer you the ticket this time” she said a wide smile on her face.

She stood up from the couch, tearing the little piece of paper with the info of the evening and went to the kitchen to put it on the fridge. She heard Steve’s voice from the living room “You really want to see that movie? Isn’t it a bit too old?”

Y/N turned around quickly to face him at his question, she hurried back to the couch, wide eyes on her face.

“Are you kidding me?” she chuckled “It’s one of the best movies ever made. Trust me it didn’t get old even one bit. Still as spectacular as it was in ’39 I’m sure” she paused for a moment, a hopeful look on her face “So would you come?”

“It appears I really don’t have a choice” he said pointing to the paper on the fridge, a smirk growing on his face.

Y/n clapped in her hands and cheered excitedly. Steve laughed at her enthusiasm.

“It’s the first time I’ll be able to see it in a theatre. I’d never stop watching it as a kid, t’was my grandma’s favorite”

It was the first time she would share a childhood memory without Steve asking any questions, he just looked at her, waiting for her to keep going.

She was fidgeting with the hem of her top, lost in her thoughts

“She would play and sing the songs for me on the piano” tears were forming in her eyes, she took a shaky breath “Anyway, I would love to see it again” she said clearing her throat and clapping her hands on her thighs wanting to change the subject.

“What happened?”

Y/N snapped her head to him at his question. She looked at him for a moment, considering what to tell him. It would be a good moment to tell everything.

“She had an accident when I was four” She said looking at her laps, remembering the events.

“I’m sorry.” Steve simply said.

Before he even thought about it, Steve put his hand on hers and squeezed it softly to comfort her, the gesture surprised both of them. He quickly removed his hand and cleared his throat getting up from the couch, he made his way to the kitchen asking Y/N if she wanted something.

She took her phone on the coffee table and saw she had a text from Fury, asking her to come to his office.

“I’m sorry I need to go” she got up and faced him, waving the phone “Duty calls”  

She made her way to the door, taking her jacket and bag on the way, he followed behind wanting to open the door for her but she beat him to it and stepped out of the apartment. She surprised him when she turned suddenly to him.

“So see you in two days for the movie?”

Steve was leaning on the door frame, his hands inside his jeans pockets, a smirk appeared on his face and he nodded yes at her question.

Her smile grew wider.

“Okay, it’s a date then”

She waved at him before turning and making her way to the stairs. Steve stared at her leaving until she was out of sight.

 She arrived at the shield headquarter as fast as she could. She knew exactly why Fury had called her, he wanted a report of what was happening with Steve, how quick he was catching up so he could work for them.

She had successfully avoided him for the last weeks, not wanting any pressure from his side. It was going so well with Steve, she didn’t want anyone to tell her what to do or how to do it. Even though the director had given her total control, she knew he couldn’t help but wanting to know every step of the process.

She knocked on his office door and entered when he told her to.

“Fury, you wanted to see me” she spoke first, making her way to stand in front of his desk.

“I just wanted to check on my favorite agent” he said ironically signaling her to sit on a chair

“Oh really how thoughtful of you” she answered back just as ironically “What do you want to know?”

“How is it going with Rogers?”

“Pretty well”

“How long is it gonna take?” he asked again

Y/N scoffed “Do you really think it’s that simple? It’s not working that way Nick. He’ll be ready when he’ll decide he is ready. What do you wanna do with him anyway?”  

“I don’t have to discuss any of that with you Agent Collins” he said calmly.

“I’m afraid you do Director Fury.”

The man sighed, leaning back into his chair

“You don’t seem to understand how important and useful Captain Rogers could be for SHIELD.”

Y/n chuckled dryly at his answer

“Trust me I really do. But what you don’t seem to understand, is that, this guy needs some rest. You can’t ask him to go back in the field right know, he needs time. Don’t force him, please.”

Fury took his time to think about what Y/n had said, looking at her pensively

“You like him don’t you?”

“Are you seriously asking me that right now?” she said to him, a deadpan look on her face “You asked me to help him and that’s what I’m doing.”

“Did you tell him?” his question made Y/N freeze “You seem to get along well, and he seems to trust you. Would be a shame to break that.”

Y/N scoffed getting up from her chair

“That’s what you wanna do? Threatening me with that?” she chuckled dryly “You need my help with him. What I’m telling to him is not of your business and I would advise you to let me deal with it, if you still want to use him for your stupid program.”

She made her way to the exit but stopped in her track at his voice.

“He needs to move on from his past and you too Y/N. You need to tell him.”

She opened the door but turn to him before leaving the room.

“I appreciate your concern Nick. But like I said, none of your business.”

With those final words she left Fury’s office.

 Two days had passed since her last visit at Steve’s and her meeting with Fury. That night she couldn’t find sleep. She had turned all night, repeating over and over again Nick’s words in her mind. He was right, she had to tell him, but she was the one who had to make the decision, no one had to do it for her.

She had to meet Steve in the evening for the movie, but before that, she had to meet her dad that had called her, asking her to come for an emergency at the tower. She didn’t know why, even if she had asked multiple time to her father to explain, he just repeated her she needed to come as quick as she could.

So she did. She arrived in the center of Manhattan and enter the brand new building with her family name on it.

She entered the elevator, a British voice greeting her immediately.

“Hello, Miss Stark, your father is expecting you on the top floor”

“Do you know what he wants?”

“I am afraid not, sorry”

The elevator doors finally opened, it took a moment for Y/N to adjust her eyes to the bright light coming from the giant windows. The last floor of the facility gave a view of the entire city, and seeing it made Y/n feeling proud of her father’s project.

“Well you took your time” she heard Tony’s voice from behind her.

She turned to see him, a smug look on his face, she went to embrace him and pointed a finger at him warningly

“I hope you didn’t make me come all the way here for a stupid thing because I swear I will-“ she was cut off mid-sentence by Pepper giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Hi sweetheart, it’s so good to see you, I’m glad you could make it, Tony didn’t tell me you had accepted for tonight!” she said hugging Y/N.

The young woman looked at her father above Pepper’s shoulder with big eyes, what was she talking about? She didn’t remember accepting any invitation to anything. She freed herself from Pepper’s embrace pointing her finger once again to the man with an accusing glare.

“I swear the next time you call me for some emergency I won’t come”

Pepper put her hands on her hips and gave Tony a disapproving look.

“You didn’t tell her?”

Tony had went to make himself a drink, trying to avoid her deadly stare.

“I’m sorry but we don’t see each other a lot, and I had a lot of things in my head, with the tower and everything I just forgot to tell her you know, but” he raised his glass to Pepper to support his saying “I remembered this morning, and she is here right?”

“Tell me what?” Y/N brought back the attention to herself, wanting to understand what was happening.

Pepper turned back to her, after a last annoyed glare at Tony.

“We have a party tonight to present the tower. You know with what happened at the last expo, you father and the industries lost a lot of support, so we need to show them how good the tower can be for the city. That Stark Industries changed a lot, and your father too. That they can trust us.” She made her way to the young Stark and gave her a file showing her all the people invited for the party and a description of the event “And we need you there”

“I can’t tonight.” She cut Pepper off, not wanting her to go on and on about a party she wouldn’t even attend.

“What do you have? A date?” Tony asked her, almost as a joke

“NO!” Y/N was quick to answer “Well sort of, I mean” she took a deep breath before continuing “No, it’s not a date, date, but it’s important. I can’t miss it”

Dating had not been in Y/N’s vocabulary for a long time, after everything that had happened she had way more important things to think than dating. It’s not that she was not ready, it’s just that she didn’t have time for it. She was completely ready. Yeah, completely ready.

“Come on can’t you just call and reschedule?” Tony said “We need you here, I need you here. It’s your project just as much as it is mine and Pep’s” he gave her the sweetest smile, trying to convince her to come.

But she knew her dad too well.

“You want me there just because you don’t want to be alone around those people, don’t you?”

Tony faked a shocked face and gasped, a hand on his chest “I can’t believe you would think something like about your dear old father”

Y/N chuckled and went to plop on the sofa a hand over her face, thinking about what to do. But then something stroke her

“I don’t have anything to wear”

But Pepper had already anticipated

“I already took care of that, it’s in one of the room downstairs” she said not looking up from an ipad she had in her hands, probably taking care of something for the evening.

Y/n groaned loudly.

“Ugh fine but I need to be out at nine”

Tony shook his hands and let out a “yay” of victory  

Leaving the party at nine would let her just enough time to go back to Brooklyn since the screening started at 9:30. But she couldn’t stay a minute more there or she would miss it.

 ------------

The evening came more quickly than Y/N hoped, she had stayed all day at the tower, helping Pepper with some last minute preparations.

If there was one thing she hated more than anything, it was social gathering and galas where hypocrite people would gather in the same room, fighting silently to know who had more money, or whose house was bigger. She had successfully avoided them as a kid, being a secret child had surprisingly its perks, but now that she was older, Tony wanted her to be there more often. She would pass has Pepper’s assistant or his and she would follow them all night, trying her best to seem nice and socialize with people.

She knew why Tony wanted her there more and more. He had talked to her multiple times about saying who she really was, not hiding it anymore, that it was not useful anymore, she was his daughter and he wanted everyone to know. At some point she had been pretty okay with the idea, but after the big “I’m iron Man” moment and what followed, she just didn’t want everything to fall over her head, more than it already did. She just needed time.

The dress Pepper had chosen was the most beautiful thing she had seen. Pepper knew Y/N so well it sometimes scared her. Pepper had always been here for Y/N. She became Tony’s assistant when he took back the industries from Howard, and most of the time would play Y/N’s baby-sitter, becoming at some point just like a mother to her. And when Tony and she finally got together, Y/N couldn’t be happier, she had waited for that moment for so long, realizing way before the both of them they were meant to be together.  

The party went by, and it became boring really quick, Y/N would just watch at the time every five minutes, not wanting to be late. Pepper had introduce her to a lot of people. Many old guys, twice as old as her had tried not so subtly to flirt with her, and many times she had the incredible envy to punch them in the face. But most of the time her dad would see the situation and would come to save her. They would stay in a corner, gossiping on the guest until Pepper would come scold them forcing them to go talk to people.

She had been caught with a group of men who couldn’t stop talking about topics they thought they knew better about, and it was impossible to run away from them, every time she would try to escape they would ask her another question, when she looked at the time and realized it was past 9:30. She just left the group, not bothering to apologize to them. She spotted her dad in the crowd talking to people she didn’t know, she run to him and went straight to kiss his cheek apologizing that she had to leave. She started running away again when she realized what she had just done. She turned around to see at least five people including her dad looking her with a shock expression on their face. She walked closer to them and bowed slightly her head, apologizing to ‘Mr. Stark’ of what she had just done before running away again.

 ------

When she arrived to Brooklyn it was past 10 o’clock and she just wished Steve would not be angry at her for standing him up, so she ran as quickly as her shoes would let her to the theatre not expecting for him to still be there.

She turned at the corner of the street and stopped on her tracks when she saw him, sitting on a bench, a worried look on his face. He was not wearing so much different clothes than usual, but you could feel he had made some efforts as he was wearing a simple white shirt. She smiled at his sight, he had waited for her all this time, and now she felt guiltier than ever.

She made her way to him, the sound of her heels quickly alerted him, he looked up to the direction of the noise and his eyes widen when he saw her, he got up from where he was standing. Y/N could swear she saw some red creeping at his cheek.

“I’m so sorry” she said first

But he waved her off saying it wasn’t a big deal

“No it is, I’m so sorry, I swear I wanted to come I just didn’t look at the time and – but really I wanted to see that movie with you”

She started rambling and Steve only chuckled and put his hand on her shoulder and looked her right in her Y/E/C eyes

“It’s okay, I swear, we’ll have other chances to go see a movie”

She looked at him for a little moment, lost in the blue of his eyes

“I’m sorry” she said her voice not above a whisper

“I know” he gave her a sympathetic smile and put his hands in his pocket, looking her up and down. “But I need to know why you were late because, I’m sure it’s the reason you that well dressed, and not because we were going to the movies” he chuckled again

“I had this gala my dad asked me to attend, it was impossible to refuse, trust me I tried, it was a nightmare, and I was supposed to leave early but I’ve been trapped by a group of know-it-all and I just forgot to check the time”

“Did you eat?”

When he asked her that question, she realized how hungry she was, and remember she had not eat since her breakfast

“No and I’m starving!”

 They tried unsuccessfully to find a good place to eat, but everything was either close or completely booked.

Y/N got suddenly an idea and hopped this one would be a win.

“I actually know a place I was going a few years ago, I think it’s still open” She said looking at their outfits “We’re clearly too dressed up for the place but it will do”

Steve couldn’t hold back his smile, she seemed always so full of joy and energy, it was contagious.

They arrived at a small fast food, and made their way inside. Y/N was quick to speak to the owner, Steve understood by the way they talked that they knew each other. Steve only looked at her talk, a smile on his face.  

They had already finished their meal for a long time when they were still sitting at the same table talking and talking about whatever was going through their mind.

“Can I ask you a question Y/N?”

“Sure, whatever you want” she smiled at him softly, waiting for his question

“Why are never talking about your family?”

It was the moment to tell him. He asked the exact question she needed to finally speak about her life, to tell him the truth.

She didn’t realized she was lost in her mind for so long when Steve spoke again

“But it’s fine, I don’t want to pressure you to anything. I understand if you don’t want to talk to me about it”

“No, sorry, it’s okay, I just” she sighed “I just don’t really talk about it at all, it’s not just with you, it’s always been like that actually”

She played with some crumbs on the table, trying to find what to say.

She was not ready.

“It’s just always been complicated. I’ve been abandoned by my mother, my father didn’t know I existed and he was so young, he wasn’t ready to have a child, so my grandparents took care of me, and well... When they died it was hard for my father” She took a big inspiration and exhaled a shaky breath “We were never really close when I grew up, and then I went to the army, so we didn’t see each other for a long time. But it’s been kind of better for a couple of years, I grew up and he got older, and we both got wiser so we understand each other better.”

She stayed silent, a look on her face Steve had never seen and couldn’t quite place. It surprised him when she finally look at him, the smile he knew already back on her features.

 They slowly made their way back to Y/N’s apartment, Steve having insisted to walk her back, so she would not be alone. Even if she insisted too, she was capable of defending herself.  

They stopped at Y/N’s building door, and looked at each other, neither of them knowing what to do.

Steve was completely lost, and had let her lead the way all night, even if it wasn’t a romantic date, it was the first time he would find himself dining with a woman and he realized he really didn’t know how to do it.

He was caught off-guard when she went to hug him. He didn’t dare to put his arms around her, but felt the courage to do it when she squeezed tighter and whisper a ‘thank you’ in his ears. Not another words were exchange, just a simple wave of hand as a goodnight when she entered her building. Steve stayed a moment in front of the closed door, processing what had just happened.

 ----

It had been three days since the failed Wizard of OZ and the confession dinner, and Y/N and Steve had not met since then. They had agreed to meet at Steve’s apartment in the afternoon

She was surprised to find his door slightly opened when she arrived, Steve would never let it open on purpose, something was obviously wrong. She carefully entered the flat, preparing herself to any kind of situation.

But nothing could have prepared her to what she saw. Nick Fury was sitting in the living room couch, she could only see Steve’s back from where she was standing. She caught Nick’s attention, she could have sworn she saw a smirk on his face, one only Y/N could catch as Steve seemed to look at the ground.

“Ah, Y/N, we were just talking about you.” He said standing up from the couch.

Steve followed his action, his back still turned to Y/N.

“I’ll leave you two together, I’m sure you have a lot to talk about” Nick said shaking the former soldier’s hand.

On his way to the door he looked at Y/n a proud look on his face.

“If you have any questions Captain Rogers please don’t hesitate to call me, I’ll be glad to help you”

With that he was gone.

Y/N only heard the door closing behind her.

The flat was left silent, she didn’t dare to speak or to move.

That asshole had told him everything.

“Why haven’t you said anything?” his voice was serious and slow, he was clenching his hands into fists, his knuckles turning white.

Y/N was terrified, she knew she had messed up, she knew she should have said something sooner.

She was just scared to face her past, to talk about memories, stories she had work so hard to forget. She was more hiding the truth to herself than to him.

That’s what she always did, lying about her, about her past. It’s always been easier so she wouldn’t have to face the demons from her past.

All her life it was like that, she never had the chance to be fully herself, she always had to wear a mask, but now that the mask had fallen, she was lost, she didn’t know what to do. She felt powerless, not in control of her own life.

People accessing to her past, to her secrets was the only thing she could fully control. She couldn’t even control her own thoughts. And now someone had taken that away from her.

“Steve” she finally succeeded to say something “Please let me-“she stopped talking when he finally turned to face her.

His eyes were full of anger. Y/N had never seen him like that, and she hated the fact she was the reason of it.

She had been working on his recovery for so long know, it had ruined everything.

“Go on tell me. Why did you lie? I’m listening.” He said through gritted teeth.

She didn’t know what to say. She knew nothing she could say right now would fix anything, the only thing she thought would be good to say in that moment was sorry.

“I’m sure you are yeah” he sat on the couch with a long sigh, his head on his hands.

Y/N was still standing at the entry, she decided to approach him, she just wanted to make him feel better, she was about to put her hand on his shoulder when his voice broke the heavy silence of the room

“Please leave”

She stood there, her hand hanging in the air, so close to him. But she knew better but to argue with him.

She made her way to the door, she had to say something, she couldn’t leave like that.

“I’m sorry,”

Steve scoffed and let his hands fall on his lap, he still wasn’t watching her, it was the wall in front of him that got his intention.

If he looked at her again he would completely loose it. He was furious. She was the only person he trusted after so long. He thought they had something special but he should have known better. She maybe had some good explanation, but he didn’t have the strength to hear them at the moment. HE just needed time alone.

“I wish I could have done things differently. I wish I had told you sooner, really.”

She made her way to the stairs, wanting to quickly leave the building in a desperate need for fresh air, her heart was beating so fast she thought her chest would explode.

“Well, went better than I thought” she stopped at Nick’s voice.

She felt the rage invading all her body, she turned to face him, he had the same satisfied smirk on his face he had upstairs in Steve’s apartment.

“Are you fucking serious? Don’t do that. Don’t play it all cool like that.” She scoffed “Why did you do that? What do you have to win in this situation? Do you even realize what you just did? Are you fucking stupid?” she had started yelling without even controlling it

“I’m gonna ask you to watch your tone Agent Collins”

“No.” she pointed a finger at him “No you can’t ask anything from me. What you did there…”

She stopped and turned away from him trying to contain her tears. She took a deep breath, trying to stay calm

“You didn’t have any rights to do what you did up there. It is my life, my choice. I just needed time. What satisfaction can you get to do that? You just jeopardized the whole mission. If you wanted him to trust you and help you after that, good luck, you’ll need some”

With those last words she left Fury on the pavement and hurried home.

What was she going to do?

---------------------------------------

Tags list (If you want to be added or removed please ask me! Some don’t work i don’t know why i’m so sorry) : @peruvian-bae ; @starkainthebluebox ; @emogeographics ; @acidrain707 ; @toloveoneself ; @lilulo-12 ; @just4muggles ; @shallowshawn ; @mikariell95 ; @hgacutan 

[uncheckedtomfoolery]

Some youkai for your consideration

I’ve often thought it’s a bit of a shame that the legions of Touhou OCs out there seem to limit themselves to shrine maidens, outsiders, the occasional god and ‘actually Remilia has another sister’, when there’s such an enormous wealth of as yet unused legends to pick from. While it’s somewhat off-brand for me, I’ve decided to actually try and change this rather than just sit and complain.

Below the cut, you’ll find a bunch of youkai with a mix of descriptions and suggestions plus, where possible, a link to Wiki or another resource. Anyone who doesn’t care for Touhou might still find some interesting/bizarre folklore (but I repeat myself).

Gashadokuro: Starting strong with a gigantic skeleton. Or, depending on the legend, a swarm and/or gestalt of skeletons. The latter is more accurate, but a popular painting depicted on the wiki page has more or less overwritten the popular perception. The Gashadokuro is said to be invulnerable and invisible, though you can hear it (a ringing sound, surprisingly, and not its footsteps); you can probably also tell it’s around if you’re not completely blind. Being formed from the unburied bodies of those either starved or killed in war, it’s mostly grumpy and hungry, and stalks around biting heads off random people to drink the blood, like a really gory and inefficient vampire. You can probably do some kind of ribcage-coat-and-skull-hat deal if you don’t want to outright go with a skeleton, series aesthetic being what it is. A bamboo eyepatch might be a fun nod to the myth often conflated with it, too (as noted on the Wiki page). 

Namahage: Approximately Japanese Krampus with a ridiculously strong northern Japanese accent. They go from house to house brandishing buckets (why? Not a clue) and giant knives or outright machetes, yelling at kids and generally scaring them into behaving. At the request of parents (who give them gifts of mochi), they might throw in a special lesson as well. Then they stomp off to wherever they came from. Originally this was a ‘be good, or...’ kind of myth where the community played into it, but hey, youkai potential. Probably playing the exact same role, which could be funny.

Azukitogi: An old favourite just for being profoundly weird and irrelevant. The Azukitogi is an old man (according to some sources; I’ve always heard the stories casting it as an old woman) who washes their azuki in a river, musing on whether they should keep at it or go eat someone. The latter, to my knowledge, never actually happens, so it’s just a morbid youkai talking to themselves. If you get close, depending on the telling, you will drop into the river. That’s it. It’s just an ugly humanoid youkai sitting around washing beans in the middle of the night, muttering. I feel like it captures the ‘some of them are just kind of there’ spirit of youkai perfectly.

Heikegani: Reaching into animal youkai here, sort of; some do theorise that it’s a kind of haunting. You see, Heikegani have shells that look a bit like scowling samurai masks, and as such, were believed to be the reincarnated souls of Heike clan warriors who died at sea in the sea battle of Dan-no-Ura. Combine that with the whole animal youkai thing and you can easily wrangle up... oh, an extraordinarily (if misleadingly) grumpy-looking, 24/7 armour-wearing crab youkai who has way too many swords. Optionally a ghost. ...What, you don’t think they really look like that? Here you go, then.

Chochin-Obake: Okay, I won’t pretend this is especially innovative. It’s low-hanging fruit, and it’s simple: The archetypical lantern tsukumogami. As such it’s kind of astonishing that I haven’t seen this done more, though?

Todomeki: Literally the ‘demon with hundreds of eyes’, the Todomeki is a towering humanoid woman with countless bird eyes covering her ridiculously long arms. The eyes are, according to several brands of moon logic living in happy coexistence, a symbolic punishment for stealing. No theft occurs in the stories of the Todomeki, and she has a lot of weird powers from somewhere, so this is... weird. Her stories feature her scaring people in a horse graveyard (I did not know this was a thing) for no apparent reason, spouting fire and breathing poison gas, then coming back a long time later to collect the blood and poison gas that she lost so she can recover. I want to further note there was a 400 year delay in between the horse graveyard fight and ‘oh yeah I should go back for my blood and nerve gas’. Possibly for Touhou this gets toned down to a suspicious mess of stolen goods, and eye patterns all over the sleeves of her dress.

Nurikabe: Another in the ‘some Youkai just exist’ brand, the Nurikabe is a living wall of indeterminate origin (depictions make it look kind of dog-like for some reason?) that extends forever. If you knock on it politely, it disappears. Theories on how the myth came about, on the other hand, tend to be either explaining lost travelers... or dietary changes in the lower classes during the Edo period, which led to an outbreak of fatigue and night-blindness. You’d stagger home in the evening, hit a wall you can barely see, and feel like it goes on forever because you’re so tired. Of note, also, is the popular (in Japan, anyhow) Gegege no Kitaro adaptation. Imagine someone buying a figure of this. I don’t understand. To wrap up, the Nurikabe’s motivation is purely to mess with people, as far as anyone can tell. Some theories attribute it to tanuki instead. Oh, and a mountain variety growing out of the mountainside, the Nuribo, also exists.

Ittan-Momen (or here, but there’s not much to be found anywhere): This one provides an interesting counterpoint as an entirely hostile tsukumogami. It’s a roll of cotton that flies on the wind, native to Kagoshima, and either sneaks into houses or bears down on travelers in the middle of the night, wrapping around their face and suffocating them out of sheer spite. It is quite possibly the world’s most hostile blanket, or the ultimate evolution of the sheet ghost.

Inugami (WARNING: Gross and terrible things happen to dogs in the wiki text; do not click if this will upset you greatly): As much a brand of ritual as a creature, the Inugami is the result of one of multiple processes in southern Japan’s distant past that would result in the creation of a vaguely canine spirit. The spirit (described as variations on the theme of a tiny black and white floating thing with a dog’s head) will possess your enemies, bring them to ruin, bring you prosperity, or whatever depending on the telling. It will also haunt your family for generations, so this is kind of a Faustian deal. On the other hand, it has reasons for being angry.

Oboroguruma: A literal monster truck An oxcart, translucent and ghostly, with a giant face on the front. It rattles up to your doorway and makes squeaking noises until you step out and see the cart there, whereupon it appears to do nothing in particular. Youkai. It’s some pretty striking imagery though, which is no surprise since, as the link elaborates, the art came before a story. According to the after-the-fact backstory, it uh, feeds on the petty grumbling of spoiled aristocrats, which seems fairly harmless? Ghost taxi.

Kamaitachi: Another high-profile, if minor youkai. This one has... a thousand origin stories and variations depending on where you go in Japan. I’ll let you hit the link yourself. The core of it is an etymological corruption turned pun. A weasel with sickles for arms, taking the form of a dust devil, whirlwind or just a gale, with the weasel either at the heart of it or invisible outright. The wind cuts people; thus the term Kamaitachi is actually used to this day to refer to any sort of strong wind that feels like it’s cutting/biting into you. I’m going to toss in an excellent drawing by @moominpappa also. Here it is.

Basan: A giant chicken that lives in forests and breathes fire, which as a combination strikes me as a non-survival trait, but what do I know? It... makes bird noises outside but disappears when humans look at it, which strikes me as extremely convenient. I mention it solely because- I mean, click the link. It looks utterly ridiculous. I love it.

Kodama: Alternatively Kotodama, literally ‘tree soul’ or ‘tree spirit’. They’re the spirit of any sacred or spiritually significant tree, a Shinto god of the small-g variety (that is to say, welcome to animism, where everything is a god but not necessarily a high-profile one). You know those little black and white guys from Princess Mononoke? Yeah, those are the ones. They’re basically minor guardian spirits for their tree, and the reason you’ll see trees ringed with braided rope and paper tassels all around Japan. When it’s depicted as anything other than the actual tree, Kodama tend to be pretty small. They’re benevolent unless, of course, you try to cut the tree down, at which point you will pay dearly (but more in the ‘curse your house for seven generations’ sense than ‘whoops, tree ate you’).

Jinmenju (or Ninmenju): The Jinmenju is possibly an extremely displaced Arabic legend about the Waqwaq Tree. It apparently serves no real purpose except to really creep people out, and even that, only by accident. The Jinmenju has fruit shaped like human heads complete with a face (ditto the seeds within), which smiles constantly. If you laugh at it, it will laugh back at you, but laughing too hard will make the fruit fall off. You can eat them, and the tree will not object, nor the fruit. It’s said to be sweet and sour, which carries the horrible implication that someone thought this was a good idea. According to Mizuki Shigeru, there are stories of people who (for some godforsaken reason) planted orchards of these things. They’re mostly found in the south, which probably deserves it for the whole inugami business. Design-wise, you might tone this down by giving the character a green or brown robe with smiling faces drawn all over it (or cut out, Hata no Kokoro-style), and a wooden mask over their actual face (if one exists). Optionally, combine it with the previous youkai so there’s a kodama perched on her shoulder.

That’s about it for now, but I do want to point out that if you want to look further, Yokai.com is a pretty good resource and frequently a more comprehensive one than Wikipedia. Have fun making incredibly weird youkai.

[crystalelemental]

I've gone on record stating that Gen 3 is not my favorite, and I stand by that.  I think Team Aqua/Magma had a lot to do with that, being far less interesting than they should have been.  As much as we mock IGN for it, the fact that the latter third of the game is a bunch of surf routes with the same Pokemon over and over is also frustrating.   Also, since I'm in the middle of playing the remakes of ORAS, I find it really frustrating the things that they changed, with my biggest gripe being that I wish my rival would go away forever.  That said, the Pokedex itself has always been something I appreciated.  A lot of my favorites came from Gen 3, so I tended to remember the Pokemon in the region fondly, even if the region wasn't my favorite.

TOP 15: 15) Mightyena line - There was so much competition for this slot, it's ridiculous. Ultimately though, I have to give it to Mightyena and its pre-evolution, Poochyena.  Both have great designs, but the thing that stood out to me most was that, in the early game, we were given a Dark type.  That's really atypical! Usually you go through the normal types, the Flying types, and the bugs, until after the first gym.  But Gen 3? You got things like Mightyena right away; it wasn't even rare!   Combined with things like Seedot/Lotad and Ralts, you had some interesting types going into the first gym.  Mightyena is a great starting point for introducing how unique Gen 3 and its Pokedex are, and I think it stands out a lot because of it.

14) Nosepass - Imagine being a kid who had faced Brock back in gen 1.   Imagine again that you started with Red and Blue, and didn't pick Charmander. Odds are, you blasted through him without a second thought.  Literally no issue. Now, imagine going to Roxanne, blasting through her Geodude like they're nothing, and then encountering Nosepass, who can tank those Grass and Water hits just fine, and hits pretty hard for early game.  Nosepass is awesome.  It's a fantastic tank, who can take all sorts of hits in that early game.  While it doesn't hit particularly hard later on, its main draw is as a wall among walls, with great support options.  The concept of basically being a walking easter island head statue is also comical.  It looks funny, but it's adorable too, making for a fantastic overall Pokemon.

13) Absol - This is a Pokemon that gets a lot of favoritism based on aesthetics. It's a sleek and pretty Pokemon, but also has a great role.  It tells of impending disasters, and is a fun but short-lived character in Red Rescue Team as well.  I really like Absol, and just wish it could be a bit faster so it could have a solid competitive niche.

12) Aggron line - We've had big bipedal rock monsters before, like Rhydon and Tyranitar.  But Aggron is just a different kind of cool.  Its sleek metal plating and terrifying design are fantastic.  The fact that it starts out as the cute little Aron only helps add to its charms.  Best of all, you get it super early game.  Rhydon was surprisingly late-game, and Tyranitar was literally only attainable when you had nothing left to do.  But Aggron? You can run one the whole game.  I love the ability to do that.

11) Metagross - YEAH!  Metagross is a beast, and a strong contender for my favorite pseudo-legend.  It's literally a walking tank, with the glorious Steel/Psychic typing.  It had one of the few Steel moves in the game that was actually useful, and back before the nerf, Steel covered all of Psychic type's weaknesses, making it a defensive and offensive nightmare.  I love the entire concept behind this behemoth, too.  It's a walking robot monster, whose evolution is basically just it gaining more legs until it becomes Omega Weapon. 

10) Breloom - I'll get to a similar case later, but Breloom is a favorite based on typing.  Grass/Fighting was unreal at the time, and it did super well for itself. Plus it's just cute.  A tiny little punching mushroom child, with stubby little arms that apparently shoot out to hit really hard.  It's a quirky concept with a fun design, and I adore it. Plus, Spore with the abilities it would later get made it a surprisingly brutal enemy to face.

9) Roselia - IT'S SO PRETTY!  Such a gorgeous Pokemon.  Grass/Poison was pretty overdone, even at this point, but I just loved the appearance of it.

8) Swampert line - Dual-type starters, at this point, were still relatively rare. Venusaur had Grass/Poison, but so did every Grass type in gen 1 barring Tangela.  Charizard had Fire/Flying, but the fact it wasn't Dragon is stupid.  Gen 3 introduced new dual-types for starters, and one great one is Water/Ground with Swampert.  While the combination had been done before with Quagsire, Swampert offered far better overall bulk and damage output, on top of its excellent typing.  It's also goofy-looking, but in a really charming way.  It's just so loveable, and every evolution retains that cute look.

7) Flygon - Flygon is just cute to me.  It looks like such a friend.   Being a Pokemon that exists in the sandstorm-focused desert area was also cool.  I really liked that there was an entire region dedicated just to the new weather effect.  Shame that Sandstorm was such a pain in the ass, but it's a really cool area!

6) Altaria - Altaria is so pretty.  Just a fluffy cotton ball bird...dragon.  It's apparently more of a songbird, too, which is just heavenly.  It also got a great mega evolution, receiving Dragon/Fairy typing, which is hilarious and excellent.

5) Latias - I'm guessing this run of Dragons is proving I really like the soft, friendly dragons over the big intimidating ones that actually do well, huh? Dragon/Psychic was, at this point, the coolest typing I had ever heard of.  But what's cooler than that?  How about a super adorable Dragon/Psychic type.  Oh, what's this?  It gets a hold item that boosts special attack and special defense 50%?  That's ridiculous, I love it. Latias is the more defensive option of the two, which I always felt was better if you factor in hold item.  The added defensive bulk is going to matter more than slightly more physical offense from their perspective.  Of course, Latios having much better special attack is ultimately better in competitive, but Latias still has her use, and is super cute.

4) Blaziken line - Remember when Fire/Fighting was a novel type?  Remember when its introduction was a kick-boxing chicken creature?  Those were the days. Torchic is one of the cutest starters, and its final evolution is surprisingly still an elegant design.  It was such a cool idea, and I love that Hidden Abilities brought it back to the top.

3) Mawile - It's such a cute little creature.  Cute and terrifying, and excellent combination for sure.  It's a shame that Mawile ultimately was a forgettable Steel type in terms of competitive use, but the acquisition of Fairy type and the best mega really helped it out on that front, too.  So I guess it's basically perfect? Sounds about right.

2) Milotic - I never caught one in gen 3.  Not fairly, anyway.  I could never figure out how to get Feebas to show up.  In fact, I don't think I've ever captured a Feebas.  I've always traded for it.  It's just so hard to find.  But man, is the final form ever beautiful.  It's such a gorgeous Pokemon, and an excellent tank to boot.  Everything about Milotic is wonderful.

1) Gardevoir line - Don't you judge me.  We all knew this would happen.  If you read anything in this post or the ones before it, you know elegant and cute are the biggest draws for me.  Gardevoir is both. It's also a Psychic type, so bonus points there.  Also, as mentioned in the Mightyena entry, it's super early-game. Rare, sure, but you can have a Psychic type from nearly the very start of the game.  I love Gardevoir so much, it's definitely an all-time favorite, and it should come as no surprise that it winds up being the favorite from this generation.

BOTTOM 10: 10) Pelipper - I like Pelipper.  Its reason for being here is that so many Gen 3 Pokemon are great, it just doesn't stand out as much as the others.  I have literally no complaints, I just locked myself into "it has to be 10" and here we are.

9) Huntail - Same as above, it just doesn't hold as much aesthetic appeal.

8) Seviper - If there's anything I actually dislike here, it's just that it's pure-Poison type.  We had a Poison snake already.  I would've liked to see a different typing added in.  Poison/Dark at this phase of the game would've been amazing.

7) Zangoose - Still good, but it loses points based on my frustrations with Pokemon Coliseum.

6) Glalie - Getting closer to legitimate frustrations, Glalie is here because its design doesn't captivate.  Snorunt is cute, but it evolves into an angry face in a block of ice.  Not exactly all that interesting.

5) Volbeat - Did nothing legitimately wrong, but I am upset that Volbeat gets a lot of nice and unique tools that Illumise does not.  I like Illumise.  I think its color scheme is a lot better.  But Volbeat gets the nice tools, so whatever I guess.

4) Ninjask - Please stop speed boosting, I am begging you.  You do nothing else but Swords Dance, Speed Boost and Baton Pass, please do something else.

3) Slaking - Okay, actual legitimate complaints.  Slaking's problem is it goes backwards.  Vigoroth was a nightmare to face, and I have a friend who stated that facing Norman's was the reason he started to respect Normal types as something other than early-game fodder.  But Slaking?   It re-acquires Truant, which is an awful ability by any standard, and requires very specific team support, on Doubles only, to mitigate.   Anyone who sees Slaking knows exactly what will happen, and is probably more than prepared to shut it down.  It's a nice design, and a nice concept, but it's been so ruined by the ability it is burdened with that it's virtually unusable.

2) Plusle/Minun - Possibly less legitimate complaint, but I feel more strongly about it. Plusle and Minun are cute and have solid designs, but their great sin is being Pikachu clones for the new area, kicking off the trend of needing an electric rodent in every area.  Worse, they do not evolve, offer little in the way of any competitive value, and existed to show off the introduction to Double Battles with their unique abilities and access to Helping Hand.  Beyond this, they offer very little, and are the reason we have to always have a new electric rodent that ultimately winds up having no competitive niche.

1) Grumpig - Literally the only one on this list I dislike.  Spoink is cute, and Grumpig is...not.  It just looks irritable and not all that friendly by comparison.  It's also nothing too impressive competitively, and offers little in the way of uniqueness, losing the quirk of constantly bouncing around like Spoink did to...just be grumpy.  It's a Pokemon I might like more on its own, but as an evolution of Spoink it doesn't seem as interesting.

[readpleasereview]

Best Travel Pillow

We spent over 63 hours researching and testing to find the best travel pillow that would perform its basic function of assisting travelers in getting some sleep.  We wanted to be sure we tested a variety of styles, including the popular ‘U’ shaped pillow which was the original and the first style to hit the market.  After flying halfway across the world – to India and back – we feel confident in our choice of the Travelrest Ultimate Travel Pillow as best overall.

Table of Contents

Best Overall

Runner Up

History of Pillows

Planning for Traveling

Important Features

How We Selected

How We Tested

What We Liked

What We Didn’t Like

Reviews

Conclusion

View on Amazon

Best Overall: Travelrest Ultimate

Truth be told, we were quite surprised when the Travelrest Ultimate Travel Pillow came out on top in our testing.  At first glance, it seemed a bit cumbersome and strange-looking, but in the end, we found it to be quite versatile and it helped us get some sleep while flying.   It is an air-filled, blow-up design that was ready to use after blowing only three lungfuls of air into it. The blow-up design also makes it possible to adjust how firm you want the pillow to be.  This adjustable style also adds to its versatility and makes it possible to accommodate different user’s needs as well as a variety of body shapes and sizes. Interestingly, we couldn’t get it to attach to the seat headrest like the directions suggest, but its long design helped us to find a comfortable position no matter how we curled our body – it even cradled our hands and arms which helped alleviate shoulder discomfort which helped us get some sleep.

View on Amazon

Runner Up: MemorySoft Travel Pillow

Of all our contenders, the MemorySoft Travel Pillow is the most common design found on the market.  It seems like you see them in every gift shop in every airport.  It is a U-shaped pillow design and this particular model is filled with Memory Foam for soft, moldable comfort and support.  The adjustable clasp is clipped together to hold it snug around your neck and can be tightened to accommodate different neck sizes and support preferences.

Although this pillow is extremely soft and cushiony, we found it to be a bit bulky behind our neck and felt that it didn’t allow our head to rest comfortably backwards on the seat.  In fact, it pushed our head forward and was uncomfortable to use in this position. However, this bulky design did help us get comfortable when we were in a window seat and leaning our head towards the side of the plane. Another position that that was comfortable while using this pillow was leaning forward to rest our head on the seat tray in front of us.

  History of Pillows

At the end of a long day, who doesn’t love looking forward to hitting the sack and snuggling up with a soft, cozy pillow?  Most would say that this must certainly be a universal theme.  However, did you know that soft, snugly pillows are not the only style of pillows used in the world?

Image Credit: Wikipedia

Surprisingly, some of the first pillows ever developed were made of hard materials such as wood and ceramic.  Their purpose was less for comfort and more to support the head, keeping it off the ground and away from bugs, dust, and dirt that could enter ears, mouths, and noses.  Who knew that pillows were not originally developed for comfort?!

The evolution of the pillow can be traced back more than 9000 years to Mesopotamia – an ancient region in the eastern Mediterranean.  In those days, pillows were made of stone and solely used by wealthy citizens.  Commoners slept on ‘beds’ of straw and grass without the luxury of any head support.

Although the Ancient Greeks and Romans created pillows similar to those we use today, many men thought that using a pillow was a sign of weakness and their use was reserved for women.  Men continued to sleep without a pillow and felt that this added to their strength and vitality.

Image Credit: Wikipedia

It wasn’t until the industrial revolution developed modernized machinery that pillows became commonplace.  Before machines, fabrics were expensive to produce, and too expensive for commoners to own.

Today, we know that pillows are an important part of a good night’s sleep and most of us do not sleep well without one.  They can support our heads and are even able to keep our spines in proper alignment.  They are essential to a good night’s rest and to maintaining a healthy body.  Pregnant women often find relief from back pain by using a long pillow that goes both under their head and between their knees.

Each of us has different needs when it comes to pillow style and fill material which is why there are so many choices on the market. Choosing a pillow is truly a personal decision based on an individual’s comfort needs.

Some of the many pillow choices of today include soft, firm, standard length, king-sized, and are filled with either man-made or natural fill.  Natural fill such as goose down or feathers tends to be the softest fill material.  However, if you suffer from allergies, down and feather fill will not be a good fit for you and that type of pillow might even make your symptoms worse.

Planning Before Traveling

There is heaps of preparation that goes into planning a trip, whether it be for 3 days, 3 weeks, or 3 months.  Oftentimes we pack excessive amount of clothing only to find that we wear the same outfits repeatedly – while piles of excess clothing lie untouched.  Another mistake we make is buying new clothes for the trip, along with new accessories and gadgets that we think we’ll need while traveling – only to discover that we didn’t need them at all and continue to use our tried and tested articles.

Planning for a trip takes a bit of organization.  Always start by making a list long before departure.  Whether it be on a piece of paper or on my computer, start listing the items you’ll need as you think of them.  You might even find yourself popping up in the middle of the night to write something down so you don’t forget.

It might seem obvious to pack these, but there are three important items that should always be at the top of the list:  Airline tickets, Passports, Money (both cash and credit cards).   Sometimes it’s easiest to forget the obvious so be sure to list these.  That way, on the day of departure when you’re worried about forgetting something, you can rest assured that it will all will work out if these three items have been packed.  With these, you can get to your destination and any forgotten item can be purchased.  (An exception would be any personal medical items that would be difficult to replace).

Image Credit: borlino.com

Sample Packing List

Passport

Cash

Credit Cards

Plane Tickets

Mobile Phone

Phone Charger

Camera

Headphones

Laptop

Book or Magazine

Gum or Candies

Clothing

Toiletries

Socks for plane

Reading Glasses

Sun Glasses

Sunscreen

Hat

Hair Ties

Deodorant

Excedrin

Mini Toothpaste (for carryon)

Toothbrush (for carryon)

Travel Scarf

Lip Balm

Travel Pillow

I generally don’t bother packing a hair dryer or washcloths, or other such items that will likely be provided wherever you’re staying.

However, one item that should always be on your list is a travel pillow.  If you arrive at your destination with some sleep under your belt it will make a huge difference in the quality of your trip.  You’ll arrive ready to explore and enjoy your destination – or even get straight to work if traveling for business.

Features to Consider

When deciding on what type of travel pillow to choose, there are three main factors to consider:   Space, Flexibility, and Support.

How much space do you have and do you want to carry a solid pillow that doesn’t deflate? Sometimes this can be cumbersome as most people find they need to attach it to the outside of their luggage if it doesn’t fit inside.  Inflatable pillows are much easier to pack because you can deflate them and roll them up to fit in your bag.  However, they are not usually as comfortable as the solid-fill style such as those made of memory foam.

How much flexibility do you need in a travel pillow? This is personal preference and only you can decide if you want the pillow to bend into various positions or not.  Think about how you use your pillow at home when deciding this.  Do you ball it up under your head or just use it in its natural shape?  You will also have different needs depending on whether you are traveling in a car or flying.  Generally, you will need more neck support if you are flying.  Unless you have a window seat, you will need something sturdy to lean into which will determine the flexibility you need in a travel pillow.

How much support do you need on your neck and back in order to sleep comfortably? Can you lean your head to the side quite a bit or just a little? Do you need lumbar support or back support to sleep comfortably?  Some people are able to sleep with just their head supported whereas others (myself included) need back and even some shoulder support in order to sleep on long, international flights.

Choosing the perfect travel pillow depends quite a bit on personal preference and individual taste.

When looking at so many options, the first thing that likely draws you to a particular design is the fabric and the fill.  Most people choose a soft-pile fabric to hold against their face.  Obviously, no one wants rough or scratchy material against their face while sleeping. All three of our contenders have soft surfaces. However, the best in terms of softness is obviously the memory foam option.

Travelrest Ultimate Travel Pillow MemorySoft

Travel Pillow

Trtl Travel Pillow Fill Inflatable Memory Foam Internal, structured neck support Weight 6.6 ounces 13.4 ounces 4.8 ounces Dimensions 2.2” x 4.8” x 10.8” 11.8” x 11” x 4.7” 7.5” x 7.5” x 3.7”

How We Selected

Right off the bat we knew we wanted to choose a travel pillow that was comfortable, yet would pack up small and not take up too much of the valuable space in our carry on.   We felt the best way to start weeding out the (literally) thousands of options was to read up on customers’ experiences.  We set out to discover if they were satisfied with their choices.

Once we eliminated all travel pillows that didn’t have great reviews, which narrowed our choices down to 435 options.  As we mentioned above, we were only interested in a travel pillow that we felt wouldn’t take up too much room in a carry on so we filtered out all choices that were not labeled as compact or small.  Now we were left with only 36 styles to choose from.

By keeping our possible choices to between $10 and $40, we knocked out another 6 contenders and were left with 30 styles. From here we weighed the suggestions of well-seasoned travelers and bloggers such as The World Pursuit and Her Packing List who said it’s best to keep these top three things in mind:  comfort, compactness, and value per dollar.

All agreed that a soft exterior is a must-have for comfort and sleep and that it would help you arrive well rested and ready to enjoy your destination. These suggestions gave us our final set of criteria important in choosing our final three contenders. We were then able to start using and testing them for this guide.

How We Tested

We had two, long, international flights to get through during our travel to India. The first was a flight from New York City to London.  The fight time was expected to take approximately 7.5 hours and our flight left New York City at 8:30pm meaning that the 7.5-hour flight would take us to 4:00am our time.   Knowing that we’d have to stay awake in London to disembark, find our next gate, and board the flight, we wanted to get some rest.

We spent the first hour of the flight getting settled in as the flight attendants served snacks and drinks.  After that, they dimmed the lights and we cozied up to try and sleep.

MemorySoft Travel Pillow Test and Thoughts

This was the contender I was most looking forward to trying.  It was soft and cushiony and looked extremely comfortable. I put it around my neck and instantly noticed that the part of the pillow behind my neck was too bulky and pushed my head forward.  I gave it a few minutes as my head sunk into the memory foam but for me it didn’t sink enough and my head pushed forward more than was comfortable.

I spun the pillow to the side so that part of the opening was in the back which helped, and I slept a few hours.  After waking and needing a new position, I tried putting the pillow on the seat tray in front of me.  There wasn’t enough room to lean straight forward so I also lowered my daughter’s seat tray and laid forward at an angle. In this position, the pillow was quite comfortable and the bulkiness was welcomed as it supported my head high enough to sleep. The only problem with sleeping this way is that the position itself can become uncomfortable. In the end, this pillow comfortably supported my head while I was sleeping in a position that wasn’t the most comfortable for my body, and moderately supported my head when my body was comfortable.

Travelrest Ultimate Travel Pillow Test and Thoughts

This pillow arrived folded up flat in its custom packaging and with only three breaths we had it fully blown up and ready to use. Its shape is a bit strange and we even had a few people give us a sideways glance.  In fact, we had blown it up before boarding the plane and the gate agent had to ask us what it was. Once onboard, my daughter tucked it between her body and the window, laying her head on the larger end and putting her hands over the smaller end to stabilize the pillow and keep it in place.  This also helped support her arms which she said was comfortable.

Once, towards the end of this flight, we both used the pillow simultaneously.  We let out a bit of air, folded it in half, wedged it between us, and both leaned in to sleep. This pillow held air rather well but did occasionally need to have air added.  We both felt this pillow was the best of the three and often had to negotiate which of us was going to use it.

Trtl Travel Pillow Test and Thoughts

While previously sitting at the gate we practiced putting on the Trtl Travel Pillow.   We had a hard time getting it on properly and getting any head support.  Both my daughter and I tried it and we both had difficulty.  We even tried helping each other get it on tight enough so the internal frame would adequately support our head, but to no avail.  Our heads just slowly dropped to our shoulder with very little support.  We didn’t even bother trying to sleep with this on the plane.

Convenience Rating

MemorySoft Travel Pillow

7

Travelrest Ultimate Travel Pillow

9

Trtl Travel Pillow

4

Comfort Rating

MemorySoft Travel Pillow

8

Travelrest Ultimate Travel Pillow

9

Trtl Travel Pillow

3

After our four-hour layover in London, we boarded the flight to New Delhi, India.   Since we were able to sleep on the first flight, we weren’t completely tired for this and didn’t sleep as much even though it was scheduled as a 9-hour flight.

However, we again tried using both the Travelrest and the MemorySoft pillows with basically the same results.

The Travelrest was so versatile that we could each adjust it to accommodate whatever position we wanted.  We could adjust the air to make it firm or soft and when soft we could fold it up to support whatever part of our body needed rest.  Don’t be fooled by the atypical design and know that its versatility is its strength.

The MemorySoft is deserving of praise for its soft, moldable, and comfortable material – as long as you use it like a traditional pillow.  We found it bulky when used around the neck and the material doesn’t give much.  Also, it tended to spin a bit when we wore it which became uncomfortable.

  Reviews

Travelrest Ultimate Travel Pillow

Much to our surprise, the Travelrest Ultimate Travel Pillow emerged as Best Overall out of our three contenders.   We found it to be amazingly versatile and able to meet the comfort and support needs of everyone.

There is a string attached to the large end of the pillow that is meant to attach either to your seat’s headrest, or to the smaller end of the pillow where there is a Velcro loop.  We couldn’t get the string to attach to the headrest very well (it kept pulling off) but we did find it helpful when attached to the smaller end of the pillow.

When the string was attached to the smaller end of the pillow, we could slip our hands through the loop which put downward pressure on the pillow, thus keeping it firmly in place supporting our head and neck.  This position also supported our arms which made for a more comfortable sleep.

Picture of string

This pillow can be deflated and therefore packs up quite small.  We were able to tuck it into our carryon bag without any trouble and it probably would have even fit into my Kipling Alvar travel bag (link to bag article or to Amazon?)  if I had tried.

Overall, this pillow was able to meet more of our comfort needs and was more versatile than our other top contenders which made it our Best Overall choice.  Additionally, it could pack up small and wasn’t a burden to travel with which was an additional bonus feature.

MemorySoft Travel Pillow

We were quite surprised when the MemorySoft Travel Pillow came out as runner up because we honestly expected it the to be the winner.  Why?  We’re not sure but maybe it’s because we’re familiar with the design and know that it is extremely popular.  We see them hanging from hundreds of travelers’ carryon luggage as we walk to our departure gate.

The version we tested is super-soft and moldable because it’s made of memory foam.  We were able to sleep using this pillow but when it was put against the versatility test of our Best Overall winner, it didn’t compare.   This pillow is designed with a memory foam insert which molds to your head and is softer than the blowup style that we chose as Best Overall.  But, in the end, it didn’t offer anything more than head and neck support.  Also, we only found it comfortable when we used it while leaning toward the window.  Not being able to adjust our sleeping position just didn’t cut it for us.

This style is a bit cumbersome to carry around.  Even though it could be stuffed into its stuff sack, that still wasn’t small enough to fit inside our carryon bag.  We had to attach it to the handle of our carry on if we wanted to keep our hands free.

Overall, it’s a great pillow and will work perfectly well on shorter trips.  It would be a great choice for car travel as everyone has a window seat.  However, for flights in general, and longer flights especially, two criteria kept it from being chosen as best:  its lack of versatility and its bulky design.

Trtl Travel Pillow

This is the best wrap we could manage while trying this pillow

The Trtl Travel Pillow is designed with an internal support system that uses a flexible plastic device.  This device is meant to hold your head in an ergonomic position as you sleep.  It is even marketed as scientifically proven as a long-haul flight neck support system.  The Trtl is very compact and lightweight – weighing in at only 4.8 ounces – the lightest of our Top 3.

It looked like an interesting design and seems to be well liked by users. However, no matter how many times we tried to wrap it comfortably around our neck, we couldn’t get it right.  In addition, within 10 minutes, the support “brace” seemed to slowly give way and relax until we found our head titled at an uncomfortable angle and not supported upright at all.

With a wrap length of 28 inches, it was awkward to put on while sitting in a cramped airline seat.  In fact, when we tested, we had to help each other put it on in order to give it a try.  Even with help we weren’t able to get it to look like the marketing pictures and found it more frustrating than not.

Overall, we feel that this product takes too much effort to use and doesn’t effectively support your head while trying to sleep.  Maybe we should have fiddled with it longer than we did, but we felt that an important point of a travel pillow should be ease of use.  We did not find this model to be easy-to-use at all.

What We Liked

The TravelRest Ultimate Travel Pillow seemed big and strange at first, but we came to realize that its long design is what gives it the versatility we liked. Also, because the design is a blow-up design, you could adjust it for firmness which helped get us comfortable in different sleeping positions.  At one point, we even shared it across seats as each of us took an end.

The memory foam of the MemorySoft Travel Pillow was very gratifying when we used it more like a traditional pillow and leaned forward to sleep on the seat tray. The material cradled our head comfortably and we fell asleep for a few hours even though the position itself was a bit uncomfortable.

The TravelRest Ultimate Travel Pillow has a loop at the small end that you can hold to support your hands and arms while sleeping. We were happily surprised and found this to be a fantastic bonus that the other two models didn’t offer – hand and arm support.

What We Didn’t Like

Although the MemorySoft Travel Pillow is super-soft and comfortable, we found it to be a bit bulky at the back of our neck. While testing it to sleep, it pushed our head forward from the seat.  We actually found it more comfortable to spin the pillow around with the opening at the back so our head could comfortably recline. In this position, we still had pillow on either side and could lean our head to sleep.

The Trtl Travel Pillow is awkward.  We found it difficult to wrap around our neck and felt that the support device wasn’t stiff enough to hold our head in a comfortable sleeping position.  Additionally, because it is over 2 feet long (28 inches to be exact) it’s difficult to put it on while sitting in a confined airplane seat.   We actually had to help each other get it on in order to test it.

The MemorySoft Travel Pillow is the bulkiest of the three we tested. Even when stuffed in its stuff sack, we couldn’t fit it in our carryon luggage and had to attach it to the handle.  Granted, we were stuffed to the gills in our carryon and some people might actually like it hanging from their carryon which makes the pillow easily accessible.

Conclusion

After 24+ hours flying, both outbound and inbound, we found plenty of time to fully test our top three travel pillow contenders.  Both the MemorySoft Travel Pillow and the Travelrest Ultimate Travel Pillow allowed us the comfort we needed to fall asleep.   The both were soft and comfortable with the MemorySoft being the softest of the two.  However, we found the MemorySoft Travel Pillow to be too restrictive in terms of various positions to use it in and it was bulky.  For these two reasons, we chose the Travelrest as our top choice and Best Overall.

The Trtl Travel Pillow was all-around difficult for us to use and even when we did manage to get it properly wrapped around our necks we felt it didn’t support our head well enough to fall asleep.  The inner support brace slowly relaxed and our heads fell closer and closer to our shoulders over a period of approximately 10 minutes.  We never did fall asleep while testing the Trtl Travel Pillow.

Having a good Travel Pillow that helps you get some sleep while traveling can be a necessary part of travel.  You will arrive at your destination much more relaxed and awake, ready to explore or get right to work.

Here’s to a safe, enjoyable, and restful trip!

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