#and stressing further over my lifelong best friend going through a really rough time and not being able to help her
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#fully venting here don't even bother#it's been a ridiculous month (2 at this point probably)#of transitioning from a part time job to full time#which also meant reimagining all my future plans VERY quickly#and giving up on certain dreams#not all bad tho i love what I'm doing now and it was fully my decision but just the STRESS#idk just been very lost#and stressing further over my lifelong best friend going through a really rough time and not being able to help her#and she just cut me out of her life in the past week for disagreeing with her behaving terribly#idk#talked to my therapist and she just fully thinks this is a bad situation and i need to disengage#but she's been with me through quite literally the worst parts of my life#and even in my worst case scenario ocd spirals this was never even a possibility#everyone around me agrees it's for the best but like ?????#how do i explain how much she means to me#platonic ideal etc etc#my dream roommate since the concept of living with friends was ever presented to us as kids#(not even in the queer way!!! just love her and want to be around her!!!)#obv i know what i need to do#but I've already talked it out to people close to me#at this point there's nothing left to say I'd just be annoying them#but that one line from fleabag#'i have all this love for her that i don't know what to do with anymore'#this is that#i don't know how to just let it all go#it's been there forever#everything feels a little less happy now#this is super temporary ik but like.... shit man#i miss her already
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Will you please write a super angsty fic where Link is freaking out because he thinks the wedding vows he has written aren't good enough and Rhett helps him go over them and make corrections and says they're perfect but also, just says the vows he would say for Link if it was them like it should've been because he's heartbroken and Link can tell but their hands are tied and they don't know what to do so they soldier on without saying a word, but wordlessly communicating lifelong love and misery and everything, maybe comfort as well?
i'm really really sad and i can't shake it off and i really want some good angst and hurt/comfort and i really love you, maura, you're awesome
I don't do unhappy endings, anon. I'm confident you don't either. In fiction or otherwise. So, pardon this if it’s not what you expected.
Please enjoy? This was done a little hastily to share it with you (and I should be writing other things per usual) but I've had a rough week and I want to hopefully make someone smile. (I have way angstier stuff in the drafts and I will be sure to get those out eventually, too.) You’ll feel better soon. 🤞 Thank you! 💞
-———————-
now or forever
4k - Rhett writes Link vows.
If you were my boy, Blue
I’d bathe you in honeys (sp?)
I’d sing write you a love song
I’d shoot you a star**
If you were my boy, Blue
There ain’t nothing in this life I wouldn’t give
From my heart, to my toes, to my fingers, my nose (**)
Whatever it takes just to watch you live
continue to ‘ ’ grow with you like a vine ‘round a rose
If you were my boy, Bue
I wouldn’t want you all for myself
There’s no star bright enough to match your lightin’
In sickness, blue, so certainly while we have health
Hand in hand, no longer fightin’
What’s destiny (**)
You and & me
If you were my boy, Blue
I'd marry you
&
Thank God for Rhett. Giving him, delivering him, blessing him with Rhett.
Link is in the middle of a spiral (what he’ll later recognize as a panic attack) when Rhett arrives, the eve of his wedding. Bailing him out of this with pen, paper, and a smile.
Link has always been good at improv.
Though Rhett tended to find the words to start. These were his own vows and Link has been putting time to sit and start them off for weeks. Now that he has to, he’s dumbfounded, despite being deeply in love.
Amidst all the planning and chaos, writing his vows was such a given that Link left it as priority sixty-seven on a list of many more.
Unfortunately, even as busy as they’ve been, that list was shredded with the “who gifted what” tracking sheet (both literally, accidentally, and figuratively) back around the bridal shower and it’s been anarchy ever since.
So he thanks God for Rhett, who’s here, to stop another needless disaster from happening.
That same generous God, however, watches him plagued with thoughts of utter devotion at Rhett’s willingness to drop everything on a weeknight and rush over to help Link find his words.
His lyrics, really, is what Link has in mind. Since they used to write songs together and this felt much the same. He’s been floundering all night and now that Rhett’s here, he knows he’ll at least get what he needs done. Even if it’s not all he wants, right now.
That same God seeks judgment on his every decision or flinch against His will, for any reason, to spite him.
For this reason.
He wants to smush Rhett’s face and kiss him. Deeply. He doesn’t.
Even if there were sometime in the past that he could get away with a platonic smooch, now he can’t. He simply could not prevent that from escalating.
So, he merely tightens his grip on the wrinkled scrap paper in his hand and scrunches his eyes.
“Why can’t it be you up there…” Link bemoans, loudly, in his frustration.
Rhett’s eyes widen, in horror, and Link slams his other hand at his mouth, rolling his eyes. “Not like - I mean - why can’t you go say my lines for me. You’re so much better at this kinda thing.”
“Let me read what you’ve got,” Rhett says.
After some review, Rhett sighs, not unkindly and sits down next to Link. “Let’s just talk through what you’re trying to say because, yeah, this reads like liturgy.”
“Ain’t is supposed to? It’s in a chapel!”
“What do you like about her?” Rhett asks, ignoring his nitpicking. “Christy?” Rhett stares at him, waiting, too upset for Link to chastise but clearly wanting to.
“She’s patient,” Link says, reminded by the similar. Rhett folds over the book to an open page and clicks the pen in his hand, writing that down. “A-And she’s kind. Like considerate, ‘specially with babies and little animals. Sh-She does this thing where she immediately drops to their eye-level to make sure they don’t feel unheard or seen. Probably ‘cause she’s always been so tall…”
Rhett’s still writing.
“Then when I’m sick, she forces me to rest. You know I hate that,” Link says, voice rising a little, at the memory. “But you know I need that. You won’t be the last to make me stop and smell the roses or take a break, once in a while.”
“Her hair, write, her hair - the way it looks in the sunshine. Like warm caramel with flecks of gold. She’s a vision, an angel. Especially when she’s wearing all white, like,” Link says, pausing to point to Rhett’s undershirt and pale grey sweats. “Makes blondes look ethereal-like, always has.”
“Oh, and her voice. Sometimes, the way her accent catches, well, you know she don’t like to sing like us, never has, but when she says certain things, asks a question the right way - it’s music. The way it harmonizes with my answer, reminds me of singing, reminds me of us.”
Rhett keeps writing, quiet, and focused.
After a short time, Link can’t stop and wants to crane over to see what he’s come up with. Rhett hands it over after crossing a final “t” somewhere on the page.
“Those’re good, Link, but I think you need to keep closer to what I wrote, leave out the stuff about me.”
“Stuff about you?” Link asks, having spoken in a stream-of-conscious style, Link forgets most of what he even said
Rhett looks away, shakes his head.
Distracted by the desire to read the rest, Link abandons the lingering questions he has about Rhett’s suggestion and response.
“These are great, man, thanks,” Links says, pushing a soft hand into Rhett’s side.
His eyes scan to the bottom where Rhett’s added a few lines about the journey, the marriage, all the ceremonial aspects of the day for him to close with, but then something more.
Something about him.
Rhett catches him catch it and looks further away. “I know Christy pretty well, too, y’know. Y’all are just alike, in that way. She might need some back-up vows, to have and hold.”
Link reads them.
“You know, just in case.”
Link looks up and tries to laugh.
He doesn’t laugh.
He goes back to reading them.
Rhett shifts uncomfortably, touches the back of his neck, and shuts his eyes.
“Rhett, these ’re…”
“I know, bo, you can forget ‘em,” Rhett excuses, still not meeting Link’s gaze. “You want me to… I can rewrite the others on a different - I can turn the page and write ‘em there so you can just…”
“Hey, hey,” Link interrupts him, mad at Rhett putting down his best friend, and eager to explain his actual thoughts. “Rhett, these are perfect. These are… I’m sad I can’t say anything as nice in return to you.”
Rhett finally looks up to acknowledge that and their gaze heats and lingers.
“Not that I…” Link stutters to clarify. “Y-You’d have to be a - if that’s something that was gonna - you know - if that was gonna work…”
His mind does it’s usual jump to a visual for the worst case scenario depicting the implication he stumbled across. Him out eight grand on the wedding. Not to mention a wife, a family, a future, a faith -
a friend -
Link gulps, pushing that back away, pushing them both forward, in his estimation.
It’s too much to bear to think about for another second. When he glances at Rhett, he can’t get a read on his face what he thinks about it, and that’s scary enough for him to want to abandon the concept altogether.
“Christy’s gonna love them.”
It’s enough, saying his fiancée's name, to ground him again. Enough to make it okay for him to grab Rhett’s palm and squeeze it in thanks, between them.
Rhett’s made his choice to give up on film school.
Link’s made his choice to give up on whatever schoolboy obsession he has with monopolizing all of Rhett’s days and nights.
He’ll stick to the days or every other weekend, however they can still fit time together, is fine by him. This ceremony, tomorrow, feels as much about his graduation from friend to husband, and all that that entails.
They’re adults.
They both know there’s a lot of sacrifices to be made and this feels like the first time he’s really acknowledging how hard they’re going to be to make. He hopes they’ll still see each other.
He hopes their kids will get along.
He has a lot of hopes.
All of them involve Rhett.
There’s a lot he should write down for when Rhett finds his own bride to wed.
Link notices, suddenly, that Rhett is crying. The same part of him that's nearly broken the headwind of these conflicting emotions turns back to comfort him.
“Hey, don’t cry,” Link soothes, realizing he’s also still holding Rhett’s hand.
“‘M sorry,” Rhett intones, the words bubble up and out of him simultaneously, sounding like water draining in a filled sink. “And the night before your wedding, good Heavens.”
“Hey, I’ve been crying all week,” Link says, waving a hand at the stress that planning a wedding has kept put on him. “Nothing I haven’t seen in the mirror.”
Rhett laughs, rubbing a thumb over his own thigh in a way that brushes upwards against the place Link’s clasping his hand. Link nearly pulls his hand back, thinking Rhett’s trying to get him to sense his want for space, but when he meets his eye it’s clear he’d like nothing less.
“I think I’m just -” Rhett starts to say, trailing off. The light from the lamp on the far coffee table is the only thing on in the room. Link drops his gaze a few inches to try and see more of Rhett’s downturned eyes as he hems and haws. He squeezes their hands together, again, this time clasping it more firmly, still pressing Rhett’s large palm down from above. “I think I’m just a li’l jealous, is all.”
It’s the quietest admission he’s heard from Rhett since he told him he failed their chemistry mid-term in eleventh grade.
Link is also so lost at the innocence of the admission that he can only think of follow-up questions. “Of me?”
Rhett looks at him for a long, long minute and finally, when Link’s gaze remains confused for the whole length of the pause, he shakes his head, no.
Then he waits.
He waits for Link to realize what he means.
But he’s still waiting when Link, oblivious, moves onward trying to comfort Rhett, instead of understanding him fully.
The tension in the room is palpable as Link talks, but only to Rhett, it seems. Only Rhett pictures air bags being deployed in a car safety video as metal hits cinder block. Only Rhett moves his hand, though it’s all it takes to dislodge them from each other completely.
“I know you’re gonna make an amazing husband some day.” Link is saying.
Rhett’s hand aches where cool air now surrounds it.
“I know your wife is gonna get to hear you say such wonderful things about her.”
Rhett wipes his hand of the misunderstanding on the cotton of his pants.
“I know she’s gonna say the same kind of things about you, when it’s your turn up there.”
Rhett mourns the idea that this would ever be requited.
“I know she’s gonna love you, just as much as I do, so she’ll have plenty to say.”
Rhett looks away, wiping the last of his tears from his eyes.
“I’ll make sure she has plenty of ideas where to start.”
Rhett pats Link’s leg, in camaraderie, and nods.
And that’s it. They shoot the shit, they make a plan to meet up at a donut place for the groomsmen’s breakfast to thank them for their help, before the ceremony, and they’ll talk things through if Link’s feeling jittery still. Then Rhett’s gone.
It’s not until the next day at eleven on the dot (everyone has an agenda to follow and every moment is accounted for) that Link understands Rhett’s pain.
His mother straightens his tie and flattens the edges of his suit. “You’ll wanna know I heard Christy looks like an angel in her dress, from the girls upstairs.”
“Those actual angels you been talkin’ to, Sue?” Rhett jokes, where he’s twisting his cummerbund around every so often, bored.
“Very funny, honey,” Sue ribs back. “From the cousins, Beth and Hailee Sue. Remember they’re friends with the hairstylist you got to do the curls for Christy’s hair, today? She was over last night getting Christy ready for bed with how to wash and dry it a special kind of way. They were there, too.”
Link starts to tune her out, since there’s a lot on his mind, but then she says more.
“She says the hairstylist was talking about how jealous she was of Christy, all night, getting to marry you,” Sue relays.
“Oh, mama, please,” Link dismisses. The compliments he’s been getting have felt faker than the toupee on his uncle Bruce. That girl has never even met him. “I’m the only person here people should be jealous of, who would be jealous of Christy,” he says, trailing off, muttering his reasoning as he did. “Marrying a trainwreck like me.”
Link looks up in the mirror where some of his friends continue to mingle in various states of undress. Rhett is already dressed, however, and staring straight at Link like he’s been caught with a hand in a cookie jar.
Link’s about to ask what’s wrong when he remembers his words. Then looks again over the planes of Rhett’s face.
Last night’s words slam back into his mind and Link’s mouth drops open.
The church organ belts out an opening flurry of notes before Canon in D begins playing loudly through the sound system built into the rafters above them. Link looks up to see one of the church staff at the door instructing them to join the bridal party to line-up.
Link’s mom dashes off to where she’s paired with her nephew, Link’s favorite cousin, to be escorted down the aisle.
Rhett sees Link’s face rushing through a wash of emotions from a distance, he nods to the staffer in silent understanding that he’ll handle it, and then they’re alone.
He walks up to Link and takes his hand. He squeezes it.
“Hey, you gotta go. We gotta go. It’s showtime,” Rhett insists.
Link looks around like a bomb went off, since in some ways it did, and he doesn’t know what to do.
Rhett seems to pick up on that. He squeezes Link’s hand again.
“I’ll get over it, Link, it’s okay,” Rhett whispers, on the verge of desperation.
That confirmation is enough to fully shatter Link.
Only for a moment.
The music continues and Rhett keeps his hand hold.
They are adults. They are in love. They have to marry.
None of these things can be helped.
“I’m gonna be so jealous of Her, too,” Link whispers back. He squeezes Rhett’s hand one last time, as they part.
They leave.
They walk straight.
They part again.
Until later.
They move houses and cities and states.
They move mountains, inside and out.
They move together.
Much later.
They join again.
They run crooked.
They return.
To one another.
Link has spent years worrying a ring that means too much to too few people.
In the beginning, when he cries himself to sleep at what he thinks has been the mistake of a lifetime, it’s His talisman. It reminds him of the expectations upon this life he’s made.
As the years pass, however, the adherence to the bogeymen of their childhood’s rules wears thin. It starts to strictly represent love and patience.
Sacrifice.
It begins to feel like a burden. A representation of what’s been lost, not what’s been found.
He contemplates taking it off, but believes that to be a betrayal of all that it stands for to the people he stands for.
Then, one day, (surely mid-spin) he hears Rhett tell a story about wanting to change his ring.
He watches the silver twirl as Rhett explains.
He believes he was rushed into a certain type of marriage and a certain type of life by a certain type of person.
It’s a life that he’s grown to love but the ring represents a union forced by custom and not one that’s grown through devotion.
His ring reminds him of that too often to be good for him.
Link twists his again at the admission.
So, Rhett’s thinking about replacing the ring.
Link returns home that night in a stupor. He’s sure he said one too many things to Rhett to emphasize how wild it felt to hear him talk about changing rings.
Any memories of that day, their wedding, bring up a rush of emotions that he’s never been good at sorting through.
Today’s admission makes him feel the same spur to make use of idle, betrothed hands he feels when he cleans the fridge.
He wants to clean the slate.
He finds an old DVD copy of their wedding ceremony that he paid to have converted from miniDV some years ago. Now he struggles to find a place to watch that DVD. How quickly time has flown by.
Eventually, he ends up in his son’s room - no one’s home for the remainder of the night but he and Christy - now, he’s sitting on a bean bag, squinting at the game console’s controller trying to get the joysticks to move to “play” on screen.
The ceremony bursts to life and, like it was yesterday, Link’s nerves fizzle awake.
About halfway through the video, Christy finds him like that and sits down next to him in a thwump absorbed mostly by the stuffing of the chair.
They watch themselves smile happily at each other and Christy takes his hand.
“Should I be happy or scared to find you alone watching this on a Saturday night?” she asks, wryly, squeezing his palm.
Link doesn’t know what to say. He’s caught up in Rhett’s bygone script being spoken on screen. Words about Christy and about Link that were not their own, declared loudly in front of the congregation.
“I don’t know,” Link admits, shrugging. He doesn’t. He squeezes her hand back.
“You wanna tell me what’s eating you?”
Link hesitates, but relents. He wants that clean slate, after all. “Rhett’s getting his wedding ring replaced.”
“Replaced?” Christy asks, balking.
“Replaced, yeah,” Link responds, sure he didn’t misspeak.
“With what?” she asks.
“Oh, some new one. Fancy thing, very cool, made of trees or something. Honestly he wears the other one, the slick black one more than his wedding band half the time. He says it feels like the old one? It’s the kind of ring you get in a bauble at a vending machine crank. So, he wants a new one.”
“Jeesh,” Christy says, making a face at the screen. The camera catches Rhett stealing glances at the couple, then at the crowd, beaming at all with unbridled pride.
“Wouldn’t you be mad if I did that?” Link inquires, still baffled at the idea.
“Well, no, but don’t you love your ring? Heirloom and all that,” she says.
Link cringes. “Yeah, yeah. Honestly, I do.”
“So?”
“So, I still kind of want to and I’m not sure what that means.”
They watch the screen together.
“Do you wanna stay married?” she asks, in a small voice.
“Yes,” he breathes out.
There’s a long pause.
“To me?” she asks, her voice even smaller.
“Yes,” he breathes in.
She squeezes his hand, her confidence built back up. She begs him to join her.
“And him?” Christy whispers.
They both look the screen, the lens centered on the two of them, but their gaze is mutually torn to where Rhett stands wiping a tear from his eye at Christy reciting the last of the vows that he wrote her. Wrote him. Wrote them both.
She squeezes his hand again.
“Yes,” he breathes out.
She leans her head on his shoulder.
“You should probably get another ring, then,” she jests. “We shouldn’t have to share everything.”
The slate is clean.
There’s a lot he wants to say to Rhett about it, but just as before, he’s relied on Rhett to give him the right words to say. So, instead of words, he starts wearing Rhett’s ring.
Then, a new one, when he realizes he can match him separate from the other, all told. Have something of Rhett’s, all to himself.
In his unspoken push towards something more, their hands now match along with their steps, as they walk forward.
On the last week in July, they get ice cream at the fifth place that month to mistake them for husbands, but the first one he hears Link crow an affirmative in response.
Rhett waits for him while he triple-tips the cashier (for the guess) and pays for their cones.
“Bad joke,” Rhett says, softly, but firm.
“Who’s kidding?” Link parries back, a smirk dancing it’s way across his lips.
Rhett watches him with a wistful look of disbelief.
“Link, we’re married,” Rhett warns him.
Link shrugs. “I know. I’m just waiting for you to figure that out and minding my ice cream here, all right?”
He’s got a mouthful of vanilla bean and extra cookie crumble, the next second, so his vow ends there.
Later, at home, Rhett startles Jessie awake when he fully realizes Link’s words.
He shakes her awake. He shakes them both awake.
“I’m in love with Link,” he says, like it’s a confession.
She kisses him because so is she. So are most people.
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
Rhett repeats himself.
So does she.
They stare at each other under the cover of silk and moonlight.
“We’re married,” Rhett whispers, touching his hand to hers. Their rings clink, new and shiny.
“Yeah, and so are we,” she whispers back.
They fall asleep smiling.
The next day, Rhett sneaks up behind Link while he’s working and causes him to spill his cup of coffee. He gets the stink eye for only a minute because it’s the same length of time he can stand Link’s grumpy mug before he has to swoop down and kiss him on the lips.
“You figured it out,” Link says, grinning.
“I did,” Rhett chirps as he kisses Link more.
They take a car to their house. It’s filled with their love and the history of it; before, during, and after.
“What’s this?” Link asks, dazed in their post-sex glow, naked and alive.
He spots an old chord book of theirs from last time they wrote music.
“Oh,” Rhett says, bashful. “I came looking for you here this morning, hoping you slept over again, but, uh,” Rhett stalls, looks away and tries to take the songbook from Link’s hand. Link pulls it far enough he can’t reach. “You were already at the job.”
“And?” Link asks, using his spry, sinewy body as an advantage to slink away from the bed out of Rhett’s grip. He still has the book in hand.
“Those are your vows,” Rhett explains.
Link looks down and squints, confused. These aren’t the vows that Christy read at their wedding. He’s seen that video only a few months back and is sure of it.
“Our vows,” Rhett whispers, explaining further, at Link’s puzzled look.
“It’s a love song,” Link notes, marveling at the gesture. What it means to a young version of himself that once felt like they had surely cut out and mourned the possibility of this - all of this - ever happening. To have that thought coexist with the image of a nude, hulking tree trunk of a husband laid before him smiling up adoringly felt panoptic.
“So are you.”
Link begins to cry.
“Play it for me.”
Rhett wipes his cheek.
“Get my guitar.”
They sing twice more that night, always in harmony (not always in lyric), then spend the rest of their lives together doing much the same.
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The Royal Librarian- Chapter 1
Chapter 1- “The Road to Perfection is Destructive.”
Fandom: Sanders Sides
Ships: Future analogical, future sidelines royality, sidelines established dukeceit, background remile
Word Count: a little over 3k
Warnings For This Chapter: Virgil’s got anxiety and is a bit self depricating, brief mentions of panic attacks, Virgil stays up and works himself for so much longer and harder than is healthy for a normal person in one session, boi highkey overthinks a ton when he’s not occupied. Don’t work yourself for 24 hours straight like Virge does, it’s not good for you.
Minor notes on Virgil’s mental state in this fic: Virgil has ADHD(as reflected by my own life experience) that shows up in different ways here and there, and he suffers from RSD(Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) which drives Virgil’s need to be perfect or fail till he damn near collapses from exhaustion, which also just feeds into his chronic anxiety. Thats all for now!
Chapter one(you are here!)|Chapter two(coming soon!)
Bonus stuff:
-the Rough Library Layout
[[MORE]]
Quiet. Such a word was practically synonymous with Virgil’s existence. The young adult practically grew up in silence, sought quiet spaces out like a moth drawn to a flame. And like a deer spooked by a snapping branch, he often fled from loud groups larger than three. He had been a quiet child, content to lose himself in any book he could get his hands on, reading for hours in any quiet atmosphere he could find. Alone, and content because of it.
So it was really no surprise he picked up a local library apprenticeship when he’d turned fifteen, and was a well-versed and well-read librarian by age nineteen. He had his lifelong friend Patton to thank for making him apply alongside hundreds of others to the opening position of the Royal Astra Family’s castle Librarian position, a year later. And, to be fair? He’d only applied because he’d been sure his resume would never have been seen, let alone selected, if only to simply placate his best friend’s excited begging.
He didn’t account for Patton’s connections as the Royal Head Cook to shift that margine of possibility to reach at least being seen. Though Patton chalked it up to the fact that he’d always talked about Virgil around the royal family anyway, long before the position had needed a replacement. It seemed to be just Virgil’s luck that ‘Virgil’ just happened to be a very uncommon name.
The panic attack that followed after he received a letter that his resume had been selected alongside a select few others for further evaluation had been a rough one. Still, he held out hope that his perceived inexperienced youth would save him, the stress and responsibility of such a serious job couldn’t be trusted with some ambitious kid like him, could it?
And, besides, it’s not like Patton’s constant praises carried that much weight, right? That's just how Patton was, a personified ball of sunshine! It was why Virgil was never surprised to hear Patton mention the royal family and staff by name on accident, or mention a silly story involving them in private, he’d clearly become close to them as the Head Cook. Though, the more he thought about it, he realized that.. Well, it’s not like the royal family had known Patton as long as Virgil had. Patton could be too trusting, and tried to see good in everyone, and well, perhaps the royal family trusted his judge of character over just simple skills. And wasn’t it just peachy that Virgil was lifelong best friends with said ball of personified sunshine? (Not that he’d ever trade their friendship for the world, never. It was just Virgil’s problem that he could never seem to tell Patton no, huh?)
Eventually, a nerve wracking week passed before Virgil finally had his answer in the form of an acceptance letter hand-delivered and an accompanying uniform and granted permissions to traverse and move into the castle grounds, all ordered and signed by King Thomas himself.
Apparently, his suspicions over Patton’s influence had indeed won out.
Three days later, Virgil finds himself silently saying goodbye to the home he’d made on his own, not as terribly forlorn over the loss as he thought he’d be. The small cottage he’d been renting didn’t feel much like home to him, anyway, not like a library did. Still, there was a longing to hide from the large change crashing into his life, and thrice he’d hid under his covers and cursed his weak will against Patton’s puppy eye’d pout. Eventually though, he’d talked himself out of his panicked haze, just in time for his first shift the following day.
“I can’t believe I let Pat talk me into this.” The ravenette grumbled as he leaned to the side. Using his weight and momentum to shift the sliding ladder he was perched on, he slid closer to the next book he’d been reaching for.
“Become the castle’s new Librarian! It’ll be fun, he said! It’ll help sooth my anxiety to work with even more books and even less people, he said, the head cook who works with at least 20 other staff each hour to maintain a steady meal plan for the entire castle staff daily!” The little librarian huffed to himself, resignation seeping out with each controlled breath.
His first day hadn’t been an easy one, and though he hadn’t expected it to go smoothly, he certainly hadn’t expected it to become such a mess. It wasn’t his first time working as a librarian, but leave it to good ol’ Virgil to let life make his days as eventful as possible!
From the moment he woke to the time he had his lunch break, not that he would actually willingly take a break nor need one yet, the day had been.. busy, to put it lightly.
It’d been storming when he woke, and though he was on time to get ready and leave, he’d only realized that his umbrella had broken the month prior. It had left him to make a twenty minute dash in the pouring rain when he found no other options.
He was plenty grateful for a bathroom stationed just inside of the library building entrance, where he hurriedly rushed inside to change out of his soaked attire. He’d been smart enough to pack away his official Royal Librarian uniform into a water resistant bag with a few additional dry essentials, and let his common clothes get soaked instead.
In a short six and a half minutes, Virgil was changed and mostly dry, though there was little he could do about his damp hair aside from comb his fingers through it. With his wet clothes packed away, he made it into the library on time to begin his first very long shift.
He’d already been sworn into secrecy when it came to occasionally dealing with the royal family’s history and artifacts in the future, and with his first and hopefully one of very few ever meetings with King Thomas out of the way, he was officially the new Royal Librarian. And now, also the only. As he was told in no certain terms that the last had retired and fucked off into obscurity before anyone had realized that the library had been left in disorganized chaos.
The old coot had apparently made his own system for everything, and hadn't bothered to write any of it down. From sorting sections to assigning books to genres, none if it clear and often very, very unorganized.
Virgil’s first big task was to comb through the entire damn building and use a new system, one that made sense. He was to reorganize every book and every section, using the appropriate genres and sorting. This way the royal family could actually functionally use the library and not waste time sorting through chaos.
This was where Virgil found himself three hours later, on the verge of a minor mental breakdown as he’d just barely sorted an eighth of the books on the main library floor into the Dewey Decimal system.
He’d had plenty of empty tables at the beginning of his journey, and right now every single one had some few stacks of books on each, labeled accordingly. Aside from his muffled ranting and the pattering of rain, the library was relatively silent.
It was odd, being alone in such a gigantic library. It almost reminded him of home.
He paused for a brief moment, having set down the final few books taken from the bookshelf he’d been working on. He’d gone through just one row of 6 bookshelves, and had 7 rows left to go, and that was just barely counting putting books back in the previous shelves as he went. A whine left him as he realized just how long this project was going to take.
“Fucking fuck.”
Somewhere between the second row and the third, Patton had stopped by to check in on Virgil. He found him hard at work sorting the fiction section on the left side of the building, tables half forgotten as Virgil attached unobtrusive non-damaging number labels to each and every book. Stacks of books lay carefully placed on the floor against each shelf, seperated by label and lack of label.
“You already look so at home, Virge!” The head cook whisper-shouted, though the sentiment was not necessary as the only other being in the library was the librarian himself.
“Yeah yeah, hush you. I’m a bit too swamped for ‘I told you so’s at the moment. So, what's up?” Glancing up at the taller man, Virgil briefly noted a small package wrapped in cloth was held in his hands.
“Can you spare a minute to eat?” Patton giggled, but Virgil knew better. He’d known Patton since they were kids, it wasn’t a question. Or a decision to be made. With a sigh, he placed the book he was holding in its place before turning to the cheery cook. “Yeah, I can.”
“How’s the kitchen today?” He asked lightly, having eaten the light meal quickly in order to get back to sorting. Patton hadn’t commented, nor had he been shooed away when Virgil began sorting again. He contently sat out of the way to finish his own lunch, his original goal having been accomplished.
“Oh! It’s going great today, honestly. Not too many mishaps from the newbies today either, so that's a bonus! And well, you know, making mistakes is in human nature but, they’re learning so quickly, I’m so proud of them! They’ll be taking my place by fall, just you wait and see! And, well, Roman stopped by earlier to swipe some snacks for Prince Logan, his brother, and himself. You know, the usual.” Patton chuckled, and if Virgil had looked, he’d seen the besotted look Patton always had when he talked about the head knight of the prince, he’d seen it a hundred times and was bound to see it a hundred or so more.
“Oh, speaking of,” Virgil butted in playfully, “I’ll finally get a chance to meet this knight and shining armor you’ve been swooning over for over a year now, huh?”
He watched Patton’s freckled face flush bright red, sputtering and then coughing on his mouthful of food. Virgil just cackled delightedly, stepping over to give Patton a few hard pats on the back to be sure his friend didn’t choke.
He laughed again when Patton gave him a pout and a soft “You’re so mean to me, Virge!” Eventually Virgil was able to placate Patton with a gentle hug, and the cook was sunshine and smiles again.
A finished lunch break later had Virgil finally sending Patton off, back to the warm bustling kitchens in the main castle building while he moved on to the next portion of his task.
He quickly found the steady back and forth rythme soothing. Pick a few books up, put them away. Pull a few books out, sort it by number as per their section of genre, set it in the right place. It was a blessing to find that there was just enough of a consistency to the previous plan that he could find up to five to six books in the same category in a row, and each set of books could be similar in subject, usually ending up just one section away. Often was the wayward book that found itself out of place, though he had assumed that these were often books just placed back haphazardly considering their subject patterns.
Often the most scattered and random books had ended up being of a few select categories. Without fail, he found that it would end up being a book on Space and Astronomy and/or Mathematics, in-depth Anatomy of Plants and Animals, young adult Fantasy Adventure novels, or Horror novels. It was.. Sort of odd, how there had been no section for each and all of these books, and yet there were so many evenly scattered. Perhaps that had been on purpose then, not haphazardly placed. But why?
Too busy to think deeply about it, he designated spots fitting each book type, and decided he’d figure out what he’d do with the puzzle later.
It was 6 pm by the time he’d finished the fourth row, and Patton had stopped by briefly to check on his best friend. He watched Patton’s merry expression drop some, concern seeping in as he took in his best friend’s progress.
“It’s almost 6:30, Virgil. Have you had another break yet?” He asked, watching his best friend continue moving back and forth. “Aren’t you tired? It’s been a little under 12 hours at this point, kiddo.. dontcha think it’s time to call it for the day? I mean, you’re already halfway there!”
“Library hours, at least Librarian work hours, don’t end till 9. And yeah, I guess I’m a little tired? But I’m in the zone, Pat. You know how I get when I’m in The Zone. If I stop now, who knows how long it’ll take me to finish sorting the other half?” Virgil rambled, half distracted and still trying to keep a vice grip on his concentration. “And besides, King Thomas said he’d be checking in on me tomorrow.”
“But Virge, you know he doesn’t expect you to have it done in one day. Thomas isn’t like that! That’s why he gave you a whole week to settle in, so you could move into the Library’s living quarters-which you haven’t done yet, might I add!- and get the library situated.” Patton stood stiffly, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. Virgil was as stubborn as he himself was when his mind was made up.
“Look, Pat.. just, I’m sorry. You know I hate to worry you. I’ll try to stop at 10, go home and get some rest, and tomorrow i’ll move my stuff into my new home here. And, i’ll take a break from sorting for a few hours. Okay?” Virgil reached out, taking Patton’s hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. He let Patton pull him into a tight hug, and didn’t resist when Patton briefly rubbed at his tense shoulders.
“Okay. Just, take care of yourself, Virge, okay? If I find out you stayed out an hour later than 11 pm, you’re gonna be in big trouble mister!” Patton giggled, lightening the mood the way he knew how.
“Yeah, yeah, hear ya loud and clear, Dad.” He watched Patton beam at the nickname, and moments later he watched Patton disappear behind the library’s main entrance door as his friend left him be, reassured. Virgil gave a heavy sigh, looking down guiltily at the stray book clutched in his hands.
“Let’s just hope ‘trouble’ just means a week of disappointed reprimands like last time…”
Hours later, Virgil’s head jerked up from his sorting as a father clock somewhere in the library dinged, signalling 10 o'clock. Biting his lip, he walked to the front doors and examined his options. He found he could lock the library from the inside, and pulled down the shutters. Briskly, he moved to cover each large window with their thick drapery, finding the adorning cloth thick enough to keep the low artificial light from seeping out. He dimmed the inner library lights so the library looked closed, but otherwise the building was still functioning from within.
Unless someone else had keys to the doors of the library, no one would know that the librarian was still stationed and working within. No one could see out, and more importantly, no one could see in. Which meant that Virgil was safe from Patton’s wrath if the Cook came to check on him, temporarily at least.
“Fuck, Patton’s gonna be so mad..” He muttered to himself, leaning against the librarian’s desk with a deep sigh. He’d briefly admired the beautiful desk earlier in the day, from the intricate carving to the beautiful dark mahogany. It would serve him well in the future, he hoped, after the thorough ‘grounding’ he knew he was going to get from Patton.
He shook his head to free his thoughts. There was no sense in getting in trouble and feeling guilty about it if he didn’t do anything to learn from in the first place. It was time to get back to work, and if he was lucky, he’d finish the main body of the library by the time his next shift started. Then, he could try and play it off, like nothing had ever happened, he’d just keep Patton out of the library till tomorrow to hide his finished work.
11 pm came and passed as he worked, and when he looked next at the clock, he found it was nearly 4 am. Tired but determined with only one row left, Virgil trekked on with a new vigor. All-nighters weren’t anything new to Virgil, not in the slightest. He was a creature of the night who rarely got a full night's rest to begin with. And sure, it was rare he worked his body so hard and for so long, but fixations were hard to break once in The Zone, it’s not like he could feel it past the hyperfixation haze.
Patton had often told him off for it when they were young, but as time passed they’d come to realize that’s just how Virgil was. Laying down did nothing to lure his mind to sleep on even the tiredest of nights if his insomnia had something to say about it. Better that he used the extra time to be productive, rather than spend 6 hours tossing and turning in bed, numbers and thoughts crowding in his head, and only getting up more restless than before. Patton often just tried to ease the aftermath if he could help it.
Sliding the last book into place was like sliding a final puzzle piece into a massive puzzle. The triumph of accomplishment had never felt so good, not like this.
Though, he quickly found himself aimless not 10 minutes later, seeking errors to fix and lost books to give a home. His brain wasn’t ready to let go of it’s fixation just yet, but as each second crawled by, he found himself recentering into the real world.
His body ached, and he was exhausted. His stomach gnawed at him weakly in hunger and his eyes watered from staring unblinkingly for so long. He eyed the chair behind the librarian’s desk, his desk now, he reminded himself.
“Screw it.. The Library’s sorted enough, I've got the rest of the week to make it perfect. A ten minute nap won’t hurt, right..?” He huffed to himself as he pulled the window curtains open one by one. Shuffling over to the main library doors, he unlocked them and raised the shutters. Soft morning sun rays fluttered into the connected windowed hallway just beyond the doors. He smiled at the tiny beauty of life, spotting the main library windows letting in the same comforting, dappled light.
Pulling his cloak tighter around himself, he plopped into the chair at his desk, finding it soft and comforting. Leaning forward, he rested his head on his arms, and under the fluttering morning light, succumbed to sleep’s gentle embrace.
Unknowing of the rude awakening that was soon to come.
Chapter two
#sanders sides#virgil sanders#logan sanders#analogical#royality#the royal librarian au#luka writes#patton sanders#roman sanders#remus sanders#deceit sanders#sympathetic deceit#sympathetic remus sanders#remy sanders#emile picani#remile#character thomas#tw panic attack mention#luka’s fics#luka’s aus
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Laravel Save Relationship Model Startling Ideas
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omg well i really fucked that up!! 😂 it's like i've never posted on tumblr before or something. anyway!! someone requested i revisit harry and bubbles, wanting to know how it would go down when they tell their families that they're dating (post part 5 obvi). so i hope you enjoy 💕
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