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armillary-spheres-lover · 3 years ago

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Hey

Idk if you ever got the answer to your thing. But I’m a person who is queer but regularly uses the term lesbian to make things simpler. I can tell you why I hate the phrase monosexual- it feels transphobic to me- I am not attracted to men at all, but I am attracted to women, non-binary folks, gender queer folks, and agender folks. If I was with a partner and they transitioned to be a man I would still love them. That wouldn’t change. Sexuality is fluid and calling someone monosexual seems to erase that and really put people in boxes. Everyone has exceptions. And as someone who has identified as bisexual and pansexual in the past and find those not to suit me and fit right (especially since I am not sexually/romantically attracted to people physically/based on appearances- it’s more about personality and what I could do with a person)

I don’t mean this in an antagonistic way, I really hope it doesn’t come off that way(I’m bad expressing myself sorry).

(I’m sorry, I know you’re not trying to be rude. My answer, however, will sound rude and upset because you touched upon some stuff that needs a lot of unpacking to me lmao. Just know this anger is not necessarily directed at you but at biphobia in general.)

Why do bisexual people may need to use the term monosexual?

A. It is descriptive

I see what you mean but as you said you're queer and lesbian is a term to make things simpler, right?

So I wouldnt call you monosexual because you’re clearly not attracted to only one gender (but if you want to who I am to stop you?). Monosexual is someone who is almost exclusively dating/is attracted to people of one gender. There are plenty trans people that are straight or gay that would NOT date a partner if they realized they were a different gender. For real: kat blaque made a video (here it is if youre interested) on youtube about this - she’s trans and she wants to date men and wouldnt feel comfortable on continuing dating if a partner of hers realized they were actually a trans woman all along. She wants to date guys not girls and that's FINE it just means A. She actually recognizes the girl gender, obviously B. She's straight af and that's wonderful! It’s not a box if that��s how her experience is and she likes it that way!

Also how is being monosexual transphobic? Cant a girl just like guys exclusively (both cis and trans) or like girls exclusively (both cis and trans)? It's not even enbyphobic since you dont need to be attracted to a person to support their rights. (Gay men arent attracted to women but can be 100% feminists.) Being open to fuck somebody is not the same as supporting their rights: fetishization is a thing. Again, I refer to the video Kat Blaque made.

Sexuality IS fluid but to some people (like me and you) it is more than others. Some people don’t feel comfortable dating people that dont fall into the gender theyre usually attracted to and thats 100% okay.

B. It helps in talking about biphobia and panphobia in society

Biphobia and panphobia are for the large part based on the assumption that you cant be attracted to more than one gender (not even non-binary and so on) and that if you do you're weird/disgusting/mentally ill/a sexual predator. I can tell you 100% that's the narrative both straight and gay people can and may perpetuate since I struggle w this kind of shit every single time Im attracted to someone no matter their gender (YES, EVEN IF THEY'RE A GUY, BECAUSE THE OTHER DAY I WAS ATTRACTED TO A GIRL AND NOW I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING ANIMAL THAT CANT CONTROL ITSELF, even though it makes NO sense because if it was two girls or two boys the actual number of people my hormones activated to wouldnt change, but it would make my experience not subjected to biphobia!). I’m not saying gay people are the same as straight people. But I do feel alienated BOTH from heteronormative society AND from (subtly biphobic) gay spaces because of my bisexuality. I costantly feel like I’m outside both of those worlds and you know how humans are: I just need a term to encompass it all easily, to say “I don’t identify with any of this” (which is both straight and strictly gay spaces: ie, monosexual). To me is literally the same as saying non-bisexual/non-pansexual.

I dont mean to say lesbians or gays have it easier or are just like straight people. But we do have different experiences and I need terms to express that. It honestly doesnt matter to me if you identify as lesbian or queer (though I think you’re implying you’re more queer than anything). But I do need a term to talk about how society at large treats sexuality; ie, as a monosexual thing. Another concept that’s been thrown around is bi erasure. A strictly monosexual society is bound to view a girl dating a girl (or girl presenting) as if theyre both LESBIANS and erase a queer person the moment they’re in a m/f relationship, because people cant COMPUTE that it may not be the case and that the girl dating a cis straight dude isnt betraying her queerness.To think so is basic biphobia.

In some ways, I think it’s the same as when transgender people started using the term cisgender - which is applicable to both straight people and queer/gay people. They simply needed a term which meant “not-trans” as they were saying “I dont identify with this” (ie the cisgender experience). Does it imply that cisgender people, no matter if queer, have something in common? Yeah, yeah it does. Does it imply that queer people are just the same as straight people, or face no oppression? Of course not. Seeing people being offended upon being called monosexual feels like people being offended upon being called cis to me.

Also, saying that the terms bisexual people use are transphobic is almost implying that bisexuality is inherently transphobic? Or reeks to me of that kind of rhetoric. I use the terms I need to use, just like any other marginilized group does, and nobody outside of that group has any right of denying me that. It’s like I’m trying to create a safe space for myself and people like me and yall come around to judge us YET AGAIN. And I'm just tired of hearing this bullshit. I could accept this kind of criticism only if it came from a trans person themselves, I guess? But it’s not usually trans people who accuse us of being transphobic, in fact, many trans people identify as bisexual and use bisexual terminology lmfao.

“Hearts not parts” rhetoric

Finally, about personality being superior to physical appearance. That's amazing but I do want to note that, not you necessarily, but many people who are into the “hearts not parts” rhetoric are, how can I say this. Slut-shaming people? I’m not sure if you are doing this but I feel it needs to be said just to be sure. A lesbian trans woman can be just attracted to a girl for her physical appearance and just want to fuck her - and THAT'S OKAY. That's fine. I am a sexually attracted to people and that doesnt mean I have to form a deep bond first. Sex positivity is about accepting that people can feel like this and not shame them for this. "Hearts not parts” rhetoric has in the past infantilized, sanitized or outright shamed other queer experiences. It's fine if you feel that way but dont start acting like you're morally superior because of that. That's catholicism with extra steps. My bisexuality its not the symptom of some predatory and animalistic thing that should be purified into something more palatable and less sexual. That’s the same thing they used to say about gay people and now gay (biphobic) people are using this against us. That’s also the kind of thing trans women (especially if they’re sapphic) constantly hear every fucking day. Queer people have a good part of their discrimination rooted in the shaming of purely sexual desires. Forcing ourselves to be more palatable and less sexual is just respectability politics. I’m tired of it. (This is obviously different from being on the asexual spectrum: but you dont see ace people going around pretending they’re morally superior than everybody else, and many are actually very sex positive) You would still love your partner if they were a different gender: that’s great, but that’s not how some (most) people feel, and they aren’t superficial because of this, just different from you.

Also, I think you’d really benefit from hearing a trans person say they don’t care if someone has genitalia preferences. Here it is. This obviously doesnt mean that every trans person will feel like she does, but it does mean that we can’t generalize trans experiences/preferences/what they feel transphobia is. Just like straight people dont get to say what’s homophobic or not, cis people dont get to say what’s transphobic or not. The definition of those terms relies entirely on the community that is targeted by these things.

I hope this wasnt excessively confusing but I wanted to make my point clear.

#ask #anon ask #sometimes i say stuff #tw biphobia #tw transphobia #tw panphobia #tw queerphobia #lgbt #lgbtqia

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darlington-v · 3 years ago

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HELLO YES IS ONE OF(?) THE FELLOW TRANSMASC BEEDUO ENJOYERS, RESPONDING AFTER A MULTIDAY DELAY.

CANT BELIVE THAT HANDHOLDING SHIT.

As someone else who has (on a certain level) like, made that connection, of someone I can be very affectionate with, but am still in the gender closet with for various reasons. I can absolutely understand your impulse and the preassure... a lot of my hesitation is based around a fear of going against some kind of perceived "ground work" in that relationship. And then I get frustrated because in this relationship and others i just would not have to think so much about this and how I present myself if I had just been born a cisguy. I am also just yearning for bro friendships where I'm just perceived as a dude from the get-go, even if I end up acting ""feminin"" or some shit.

But when I think about all the relationships I've had, I wouldn't want to have "skipped over" any of them, even if I wasn't, or didn't start by presenting my truly authentic self. I can't bring myself to regret or fully resent any of those connections, even if in my heart I can't always regard them as 100% "valid" or "genuine" in the context of how I know I was/am perceived and how I present. I dunno, I hope that makes sense, and helps in some way... I guess what im trying to say is, even if I have wishes and yearnings of how things could be different, I still am happy to have had the relationships I've had.... and I know ill just keep meeting new folks and either things will work out or they wont, and that'll be ultimatly for the best...

But hughu its also kinda silly when I think about it, that some internet dudes make me confront and think about all this shit. But it also does make sense too.

I don't know its very hard to explain, feel free to just ignore all this.

yes!!!! i TOTALLY understand this!

it's really frustrating because i would love to seek out other communities and environments that may lead into relationships similar to that of like??? SAME AFFECTION????? but im afraid to put myself out ANYWHERE new because i don't want to be perceived as like... woman-lite or anything. i don't want anyone to have to rethink how they perceive me i just wanted to present in the way that i feel.

similarly to what you said, i don't want to build something on "ground-work" i know i'll have to break down and like. make the REAL ground work pretty much?

and yeah! same! i get frustrated as well because it would just be much easier to deal w/ if i was just. cis. but i don't dwell on that too much, luckily

however i still run into the same issue: (more long winded venty shit below, ur invited to me being extremely vulnerable on the internet have fun)

how can i deal with this and make this easier for myself? is it... achievable even? like! yeah! how can i simply start new relationships with this... pre-established certainty of "that is a Boy! a BONAFIDE boy!" like... not even cis but just.

i struggle with the idea that most people who aren't trans will like... not... TRULY respect my identity? like behind closed doors. which is something i know a lot of trans people struggle with and honestly that is... our own issue in regards to trust. if no one throws and red flags that they don't actually respect your identity, then you really just have to trust that they do.

it's just... honestly putting conditions on like. your trust i guess. PERSONALLY. like im putting conditions on myself such as: if i present masculine then people will respect my identity and assimilate to how i identify, even if i don't present that yet.

which... usually isn't the case? people may take longer to assimilate but if someone is going to respect you, you can usually tell. or i feel like i can.

however. i guess. i want to shortcut the assimilation? but it's unfair to me to just put myself on hold until i don't need to ask people to like. REALLY understand liek HEY. THAT PITCHY MOTHERFUCKER IS A DUDE. because it's hard. and i, in my tiny pea brain, feel like a shortcut would just already be presenting male boy man MASCULINE. however, like i said, it's unfair for me to put that on myself bc that's a LONG time to wait!! that's coming out, getting a new wardrobe, and ALSO getting HRT!! that doesn't just happen in one day.

i explained to some friends that like. sometimes i wish i could just present a certain way and then no one could really ever know me intimately.

and it's definitely not that im... ASHAMED of being trans!! it's very nice and cool! however i feel sad that like... we're still adjusting as a society in terms of like... gender i guess? like... i do not want to be seen as woman-lite by anyone. in any degree. and sometimes you need a deeper understanding of gender to get past like... the weird like. ok he's... he's boy but like kinda not boy??

IT'S JUST. MMM. BEING PERCEIVED AND NOT INTERPRETTED CORRECTLY IS VERY TERRIFYING AND I HATE IT AND UR RIGHT BEING CIS WOULD BE EASIER, I DON'T NECESSARILY WANT TO BE CIS, I WOULD JUST LIKE TO EMULATE CISNESS WHILST REMAINING QUEER WHICH I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF IT'S POSSIBLE.

however same!!! the relationships i have now i love and i care very deeply about and i feel that like... even though they've known me before i was like "ok masc and he/they" and shit like that, i do feel like they understand like

*points* boy!!

however when it comes to strangers it's so... scary. and like IDK. ITS SO FUNNY BECAUSE I'VE NEVER HAD TO DEAL WITH THIS BEFORE. AND IT'S WHY I WANT TO LIKE? EXPLORE THE COMMUNITY FOR OLDER TRANS PEOPLE. LIKE HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS???? how can you just BE OKAY when like... introducing yourself to strangers.

how can you just let... strangers in?

which is also *THROWS THINGS* THE WORST PART!!! I WANT TO BE A CONTENT CREATOR BUT I DON'T WANT TO WAIT!!!! I WANT MY VIEWERS TO GO BOY BOY BUT THEY WONT BECAUSE I HAVE NO FORM OF PRESENTATION BESIDE A PERSONA AND A VOICE AND MY VOICE IS PITCHY!!! ITS SO HIGH AND PITCHY!!!

and it's frustrating!! because i don't want an audience who doesn't like understand BOY!!! NOT WOMAN-LITE!!!!!!! NOT WOMAN GOING THRU PHASE!!!!!

BOYYYYY!!!!!

TLDR;

being trans is hard and i just don't want to be seen as woman-lite. i want to bee seen as like cis boy but trans. like i think i'd take more kindly to someone being like "omg i didn't even know you were trans!" to like someone infantilizing me and calling me a sweet little boy bean. and thats a lot easier between close friends! even though they have heard my voice and they've listened to me talk about being trans! they understand. and strangers?? have the potential to not. like they might? but what if they dont... and that's. Scary.

#asks #anon #prince is a fahjay #actually anon this has been a therapy session in and of its own and it's helped a lot! my therapist was like #THIS IS MULTILAYERED #THIS IS GONNA NEED MULTIPLE SESSIONS #and i was like ahhh shit ur right #but this actually helped me compose my thoughts! :]#trans achilleans getting sent into queer crises by bee duo squad #new long ass tag

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optimiist · 4 years ago

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𝚒’𝚍 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚊𝚗 𝚎𝚢𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 ; that there is APRIL RIGGS , notorious for being ( deceitful ) and ( superficial ) , but there are times when she can be ( charismatic ) and ( strategic ) . i've heard that she could pass as a MEGAN FOX doppelganger , but i don't see it . the ( thirty-five ) year - old cis woman has been in town for ( two weeks / majority of her life ) and they are a ( socialite ) by day and murder suspect by night . they tend to spark images of swarovski crystal champagne flutes raised in the air , a 14 carat diamond ring left on the bedside table , a singed undergrad diploma , a stranger in the mirror , a stadium full of empty applause , the lethal combination of a stepford wife and stifler’s mom . you’ll know when they walk by because they always seem to be blasting feeling good by NINA SIMONE . it truly explains why they're known as THE TROPHY .

to know:

UPDATE: her full bio is here. gives more important insight into the relationship she has/had with her mother.

triggers: neglect, brief mention of statutory rape

i got very ‘poetic’ in the ‘a little further’ portion of the app and described her as a trophy in my first bullet point… so there you have it! you see, no matter what she did, she was always only praised for her appearance. just a trophy!!

she was born (in taunwick) to a very successful politician and her trophy husband. therefore, she spent much of her time alone as her mother was busy campaigning or throwing galas while her father, her mother’s trophy husband, went along for the ride.

there were very few times they spent any ‘quality time’ together – picture what i think was the first scene (one of!) in mommie dearest where joan crawford is turning her daughter’s birthday into a photo op. that was pretty much their definition of quality family time. it could be successfully argued that april’s mother figures all came in the form of nannies.

it could also be successfully argued that, unlike lionel, april is part of the daddy issues™ club. as will be very evident afhdliuwdsjn

probably also part of the mommy issues™ club aflhskd

mother riggs probs would go off about wire hangers but... u kno... not to the mommie dearest point...

what should be taken away rn is that she was literally raised to be shallow fhlakjds

she began an entitlement act rather young - there were only two people who saw through it, one of which will be sent in as a wc and the other… being harley!! bc gotta get april connected to the murders somehow!! gotta give her a reason to stay in taunwick too but!! that’s a problem for a future bullet.

there are those annoying kids who refuse to share their toys and all. and they usually grow out of it. but april… did not. elementary? demon child. junior high? demon preteen. high-school? demon teenager.

now!! on the topic of high-school!! if her age is any indication, she is not part of the class of 2000 - if i have my math right (possibly don’t, i once legit studied for a math exam and wound up still only getting a 34), she was part of the class of 2003. that being said, one year of hers did overlap with everyone else’s - she knew chastity as an acquaintance at best, although she still recognized harley as a friend!! good for her!!

that being said, chastity’s murder….. didn’t have much of an effect on her…. ya it’s v tragic….. but it’s been a week guys :\

her alibi: she was in the woods with someone…….. when pressured to say with who bc animals and trees can’t confirm that…… she was ashamed to say it was someone on the lacrosse team. she usually aimed higher :\

anyway, they all graduated and it was HER TIME TO SHINE!! it was HER TIME to USURP THE THRONE and become THAT BITCH of the school!! probably had .3 real friends, what with the exception of the one wc i plan to send in!! that... was inspired by “jenny” by studio killers… we can’t wait to send it.

did everything she perceived as the it girl stuff, what from joining those cool teams to being crowned her own prom queen to……………. sleeping with teachers. 1) alexa play “daddy issues” by the neighbourhood, 2) fire them.

fun fact tho!! she got into a hella good school. as in the ivy that is columbia. by what was….. partially her own merit…… partially her mother giving a very generous donation. have to make the family look PERFECT!!

she received an art history degree on what was….. partially her own merit…… partially sleeping with professors (see two bullets above.)but... graduation came… and what do you do with an art history degree from an ivy…

you marry rich!!!!!!!

in the perfect parallel that she did not even recognize as a parallel because she’s big dumb, she found a marginally older politician (....it’s gonna be a wc so it’s gonna depend on the player but it’s gonna be 50+ hfdlsjak wld make it older but there j aren’t enough resources!!) and was like *martha (...virginia woolf?) vc* “yes, yes. [he] will do.” *end vc*

in spite of having become marginally more introspective than she was in high-school… she still doesn’t recognize her daddy issues :\

they got married. in spite of it being beautiful and expensive and gaudy, she really didn’t feel anything?? was lowkey GLAD her parents weren’t there (and not in the angsty ‘they never show up to anything anyway :\’ way, in the ‘this is literally wasting everyone’s time’ way). their marriage started and continued as a very unfulfilling one. he, in perfect politician style, began having affairs exactly as she, in perfect april style, began having affairs. while they never directly spoke of them, they knew the other was involved with other people.

why april didn’t divorce him is an excellent question. is it out of a certain selflessness, not wanting to do any damage to his career?? is it out of selfishness, not wanting to lose that sugar daddy?? a little bit of both. probably more the latter tho!!

anyway!! her father finally divorced her mother and she was like “i’m…. gonna say i’m gonna go be a good daughter…. go comfort my mother in this trying time….. but jk i j wanna get away from my husband lmao”

again, barely knows her mother. learned various different languages so she could have fair conversations with the foreign nannies.

but….. he has a reputation to keep up!! and his wife straight-up disappearing and leaving him would be 100x worse than a divorce…. so here he comes!! to save the day!! and his reputation!!

as you can imagine, between her husband figuring out her real motive + her…. barely liking her mother, she would be inclined to return to nyc… but that’s where harley’s murder will come in!! the perfect crime!! literally!!

TL;DR:

a former It Girl™ with daddy issues, mommy issues, and a fear of commitment.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

**open to any gender unless otherwise specified

her husband (m): WILL BE BEING SENT INTO THE MAIN.

that connection based off of “jenny” (f/nb): WILL BE BEING SENT INTO THE MAIN.

various affairs: gotta have those if she’s resigned to a new life… still with her husband :\

‘friends’ from the class of 2002-2005: i think that’s the right range for when she would’ve been THAT BITCH in the high-school?? but ya!! ppl chillin w her for the clout and she was like “this is validating”

enemies from the class of 2002-2005: again, i THINK that’s the right range?? but wow. ppl she didn’t even TRY to be nice to. or ppl who j straight-up hated her. there were plenty of reasons!!

hookups / ‘dates’ from the class of 2002-2005: again with the math?? But ya!! more inclined to ‘date’ those cool folks, but apparently didn’t discriminate with her hookups if her alibi is any clue.

neighbors: up in the hills chillin right next to a very watered down political joan crawford, her trophy husband who yeet’d out of existence, and eventually her very shallow daughter and said shallow daughter’s husband who’s probs closer in age to said very watered down political joan crawford. what could go wrong!!

acquaintances of any sort from the class of 2000: gotta get them skels!!

more to come!!

FURTHER:

for a bit of a better idea:

pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/idkimnewwastaken/april/

playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1416e2ijuY3viSnzi6HjPz?si=sQmXEc5DQlSKbT2t7XZYeQ

musing tag: https://optimiist.tumblr.com/tagged/april-%7C-musings.

mini stats (to be later extended): optimiist.tumblr.com/as (also again with the font) (and notice the irony i have in my url when combining april and lionel!!)

#april !#april | intro.#taun.intro #UPDATE: same things lionel's intro tags say fhalaiedjskn

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torscansaho1986-blog · 6 years ago

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I a v0 and I only have 2.8k dias right now and I just know it impossible for me to craft the second suit. I have 1029 demon souls and I been trying really hard, voting in the competition, sleeping 8 hours, crafting every suit I can to get more dias, spamming friend reqs to hit the 50 stam per day. (I not staying up until 4am to claim the second free stamina round though D: ) I know it impossible, but I just can give up! I gonna do everything I can until the last day!!. The "explanation" of why there is a difference of gender "representation" in fields is because of the free will of people. This was explored in a Norwegian state sponsored documentary about gender studies and the underlying theories about it. It is called Hjernevask and is a 7 part series documentary about different areas of "gender".. I started to look into it, actually listened to a few podcasts (i love podcasts, but I don generally listening to anything remotely political or medical). I was pretty 보성출장샵 convinced that no one knows what in these vaccines that we give infants. And the fact that there has still yet to be one independent study on them really shocked me. Merci! Personne n rien devoir ses parents, c un acte de base goste, dans le seul but d heureux ou de chercher un sens son existence. La qualit de l dcoule de l mme des parents ainsi que du choix de ceux ci de prendre leurs responsabilits, pas d acte de charit. Ce n parce que certains chouent qu faudrait porter aux nues ceux qui font leur taf correctement.. The only way, apart from turning off half the entire electrical system, would be to go into the E/E bay and pull three particular circuit breakers. It is a maneuver that only a sophisticated operator would know how to execute, and the only reason I could think for wanting to do this was so that Inmarsat would find the records and misinterpret them. They turned on the satcom in order to provide a false trail of bread crumbs leading away from the plane's true route.. Also, natural disasters will still affect the park. Only on a slower timescale. Animal attacks, fires, earthquakes can all change parts of the park or the guests attitudes. Government funding can also force closures of parts of the parks. "Lord, dearie, everybody in Four Winds knows poor Leslie's story. It's no secret the OUTSIDE, that is. Nobody knows the INSIDE but Leslie herself, and she doesn't take folks into her confidence. First off, your post wasn't long at all. It's okay to feel scared. I know it's scary when your significant other has a health scare. 3). PPOC indicates that their "system" performs an analysis of buying habits/interests to match it's testers w/the most appropriate products. Also frequency of buying answering questionnaires, quality of answers, etc. 2 points submitted 1 month agoI was an RA for a couple years back when I went to UMass about 10 years ago so I can't speak for the current selection process. However, I remember the recommendation letter you get from your current RA or any RA 보성출장샵 that knows you well is very important. During my tenure as an RA, I've written at least 5 6 letters for my residents and friends, all of whom have gone on to also become RAs.Another thing to keep in mind is that RDs and ARDs have the ability to request/pull certain applicants into their cluster/building so it's in your best interest to get to know them.

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trisockatops · 7 years ago

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Teens are getting queerer. According to a recent trend-forecasting report by J. Walter Thompson Innovation Group, 13- to 20-year-olds (known as Generation Z) are even more sexually fluid than millennials—while 65 percent of millennials identify as exclusively heterosexual, only 48 percent of Generation Z does. The "trend" is unsurprising—increased legal protection, social acceptance, and media visibility of the LGBTQ community have afforded more opportunities for queer people to love in the open. That being said, according to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, a national advocacy group for local LGBTQ communities, 2016 was the deadliest year on record for LGBTQ folks, and that's not counting the 49 victims of the Pulse nightclub massacre.

As the purview of queerness expands and the need for political solidarity and resistance against LGBTQ violence becomes all the more necessary, how can we think critically and compassionately about desire, identity, and labels? I talked to Suzy Exposito, Ales Kot, McKenzie Wark, Whitney Mallet, Davey Davis, and Javier Nunez Cespedes, a group of individuals who deal with issues of identity in their personal and professional lives, about love with or without labels.

Ana Cecilia Alvarez: What's your relationship to questions of desire and identity?

Suzy: I am a bisexual woman in a long-term relationship with a bisexual man. At this point in my life, I refuse to date straight people. In my experience, they just don't understand certain fundamental things about my friends and me. That said, I could generally say the same about monosexual people. I have been on dates with cis lesbians and felt a similar lack of common ground. Because I wouldn't "pick a side," my sexual identity was always in flux to them and not to be trusted. I don't think my sexual orientation is in flux at all!

Ales: Before people used the word "queer" to describe me, they called me "weird." But when I moved to Prague and lived on my own for the first time, I slept with girls and boys, and had threesomes and group sex. I realized that people would have these impositions on what it means to be queer for them. I didn't want to narrow it down too much. If someone asked, I'd tell them I'm bisexual. Of course, I could see many people judging the shit out of me. But, even though I pass as a straight dude, the fact of the matter is that I am a fluid sex monster.

McKenzie: I am somebody who passes for a straight person. I am reluctant to be a spokesperson for queerness because I get to avoid all of the difficulties that are involved in that. I don't advertise, but if people ask, I'll them that I've had sex with men, and I will again.

Javier: I'm a transgender mixed-race Latino who identifies as bisexual. I like to joke that I've identified with literally every letter in LGBTQ at some point.

Ana: Has identifying—or not—as queer resolved anything for you? Or how has it complicated things?

Javier: Part of the beauty of "queer" is that it doesn't have a real definition and that it's open-ended, but that also can be a major drawback to it. By not having a concrete definition, people can use it any way they want, and it can and definitely has been co-opted. Also "queer" doesn't really say anything about someone's sexuality. When someone tells me they identify as either gay, lesbian, or bisexual, I have a better idea of who they date. To me, "queer" has always had radical anti-oppression trans-inclusive meaning behind it, but it's clearly not the definition everyone uses.

Whitney: I guess I would reluctantly identify as queer. I don't think of queer as an essentialist identity. It's about identifying with certain politics. It is a decision of what community I want to call my community. People still ask me if I am gay or straight. Sometimes I think, maybe it's on the way, maybe by the time I'm 30 I'll be gay. Or I'll always be slutty. In life, we're always becoming, so it's fine.

Davey: The amazing thing about being able to come out and find a name for yourself as a queer person is that you feel like you fought for it. My partner and I have both had family members who completely rejected us. So it's this thing that I've fought for, it's my identity, it's who I am—you get defensive and protective with it. And so I can see people's kneejerk reaction, Oh, are they really [queer]?The more compassionate me, and the part of me that has been in that position, knows that's bullshit, to be like, Oh, they're not really [queer]. And as much as we fought for our identities, at the same time, identity is fluid, and fluidity is challenging for most people. Even if you are gender fluid or your sexuality is fluid, labels are, by definition, rigid.

Ana: To me, labels seem imperfect, at times flattening, but politically necessary. Sometimes we need solidarity and shared identities. What do you think?

McKenzie: It's crucial to remember that there are a lot of men who sleep with other men that do not think they are gay. They aren't in the closet or in denial. They just have different categories. Some people don't think having sex with men is an identity. It's an act, and you might have other acts you do and other identities.

Davey: When I had just come out, I had an instinct to taxonomize: "I am a femme boy." But I've moved away from that because I've lived in the world long enough as a gender-nonconforming woman that visibility isn't exciting anymore. I've realized that being visible isn't that great. It's pretty scary, and most people outside of your community think you're gross, and it affects your chances of getting a job. Foucault said that visibility is a trap. We all want to be seen and understood and be known for what we are, but unfortunately, if what you are is queer or bisexual, they will hate you.

Ana: Visibility is a trap! Either you're legible in mainstream culture—you pass—yet you aren't seen as queer in queer communities, or you're visibly queer, and thereby a target for homophobic and transphobic violence.

Suzy: Visibility makes all the difference in how you experience queerness. Visibility makes you more vulnerable to attack. And it's a threat that not all queer people face equally. I'm a cis femme woman with long hair, and men harass me all day for being a woman, but absolutely no one knows I'm queer unless I'm with someone who more visibly is. On the other hand, my partner is a drag performer and very gender fluid, but on most days he presents masculine for his safety. On days when we're both femme, we're much more prone to harassment. Not everyone's queer presentation is so conditional, though, so we have to be mindful about how much space our voices take up and which experiences are simply not ours to claim.

Javier: Disclosing being trans or bi is a choice I can make every day. What I can't choose is walking out of the house every day as a Latino man. I experience way more gender-based violence (mostly from the NYPD) in that way than I ever did before I started medically transitioning. It's something I wish I'd been prepared for. It seems like the people wrapped up with visibility around their sexuality are cis white people. It feels like a luxury that people of color and a lot of trans people do not have. I just want to go out in the world and not be worried about being attacked or killed. I don't care about the rest.

Ana: One way I've been trying to think about this is by shifting questions of queer authenticity—is someone really queer or not?—to queer accountability. Are there certain actions or values we can hold one another accountable for as members of a community?

Ales: I ask, How can I encourage a sense of safety around myself and my home? How can I contribute my own energy? On the most immediate level, I think about just listening. I think just listening to people and not comparing or trying to place them is crucial.

There is a level of performative allyship and people trying to ride on the wave of a higher social consciousness more than they actually care for others. I don't know what to do with that except to be sure that I don't do it.

Whitney: I think there are moments when checking is important. I was at my next-door neighbor's New Year's party, and there was a moment where I noticed there were a lot of straight people there. It's a predominantly gay and trans space, and I think it's worth thinking about how you literally are taking up space at parties. There was a line, and at a certain point, other people couldn't get in, and for some of the people, that's the only party that's welcoming for them.

Davey: This reminds me of who gets to be at pride. I do think straight people need to think three or four or five times about whether they should go to some queer event, even if other queers are bringing them. But, if the ultimate goal is liberation of some kind from white cis hetero imperialist Western patriarchy, it can't come down to "make sure there are no heteros at the party." Probably, straight people shouldn't be at pride, but if you're the kind of straight person who's going to march with us, and protect us, and work with us, we can work together on the larger political goal of liberation.

McKenzie: When you get to middle age, it's just not that big of a deal anymore. I'm into this or that, and I'm going to go and get it with whoever is up for it. It's so much easier. I get why it was important in my 20s and 30s, but now I am not worried about if I am or am not this or that queer being now. I'll just go find my friends.

My favorite quotes from this that I just want to emphasize:

Davey: And as much as we fought for our identities, at the same time, identity is fluid, and fluidity is challenging for most people. Even if you are gender fluid or your sexuality is fluid, labels are, by definition, rigid.

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porfirioenserafinakg73insur-blog · 5 years ago

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cars cheap on insurance for first time drivers

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurefinder.xyz

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cars cheap on insurance for first time drivers

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therightnewsnetwork · 8 years ago

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We Hear You: I’m a Sailor, a Marine, and a Transgender Woman Who Was Born This Way

Editor’s note: One reader who we heard from awhile back marked March 31 as Transgender Day of Visibility. So this weekend seemed like a fitting opportunity to publish the letter as the lead item in our mailbag.—Ken McIntyre

Dear Daily Signal: At first I was going to ignore Kelsey Harkness’ video report and the comments, but there comes a time when what I served our great nation for must be stated plainly (“Lost Voices in the Transgender Debate: Liberals and Conservatives Unite“).

I served for all Americans. I served so that you may hold opinions not based in logic, reason, or science. I served for your rights and freedoms. So by all means, feel free to express your beliefs and opinions.

I served as an enlisted person in the Navy and as an officer in the best fighting force in the world, the Marine Corps. I am a 1984 graduate of the Naval Academy, a parent of four, a grandparent of six, a serial entrepreneur, and I know me better than anyone.

The only people who know me and my body are my doctors at the KU Women’s Health Specialty Center in Overland Park, Kansas, and they know that I am a woman. Yes, I was born with male genitalia, but I am woman through and through.

I have studied me and the science behind me longer than many of you have been alive. For you to presume to know me, a transsexual woman, is absurd to the height of ignorance. I was born a woman from the very beginning, but my body physically and outwardly expressed as male.

The brain is the source of all gender, not what’s between your legs. Like 99.95 percent of all people, your gender most likely aligns with your brain so you have no issues to address personally. This is an evolutionary requirement for the survival of the species.

For the other .05 percent, the brain and genitals do not align: a statistical number that holds true for all human populations planetwide. Like all human physical characteristics, gender expresses on a statistical distribution, a spectrum.

There was a time in our country when conversion therapy was forced on those who were left-handed to make them right-handed, because righteous people were by definition right-handed. You can teach a person to use their right hand if they were born left-handed, but are they really right-handed? No.

What about hair color, texture, degree of curl, or straightness? What about tallness or shortness? Are all humans born with 10 fingers and 10 toes? Statistically, most humans are. However, some are born with more or less.

Do all humans fall into one standard shape and size and color, texture, functionality of genitals (whether male of female)? No. Huge statistical variety there, too.

Are only “real” humans born without physical impairments such as spina bifida, cleft palate, weakened heart valves, missing organs, extra organs? No. All of these occur on a statistical distribution, which means while they are less likely to occur than the norm, they can and do occur. Are those people any less human than you?

Why must gender be excluded from the statistical variability that is so easily observed in all of human nature? Well, it’s not.

So I am a transgender woman who was born this way whether you accept modern, evidence-based, peer-reviewed biological and psychological science or not. My being a woman is not dependent upon your approval. I am a woman. Period.

“It is your turn to stand in defense of my rights now,” Cassandra Leigh Williamson writes. “Trans people are under assault.” (Photo: Cassandra Leigh Williamson)

Gender dysphoria is caused by the lack of congruence, the misalignment, between expressed sexual and secondary sexual characteristics and the brain. It is not a mental disorder, but a physical issue much like being born with a physical disability.

Thank God, though, we know how to correct the misalignment.

So it is your turn to stand in defense of my rights now. Trans people are under assault. Our rights, our freedoms, the freedoms and rights you take for granted, are being rolled back or denied. Gender identity needs to be a protected class of minorities within our national and state laws. Stand with me. Hugs and Semper Fi!—Cassandra Leigh Williamson

Note: Cassandra Leigh Williamson, who lives in a small town in Missouri, has a website at cassandraleighwilliamson.com and recently began a video blog on YouTube called “Cassandra Leigh.”

Crashing the White House ‘Pool’ Party

Dear Daily Signal: You are more of a news organization than any of the “lamestream” media (“Journalists from BuzzFeed, New York Times Assess Daily Signal’s Splash in White House Press ‘Pool’“). Your Morning Bell email is the first one I read in the a.m. I look forward to reading it with my coffee.

I cannot trust any of the lamestream media. Look what they did all through the Obama administration. Lie upon lie. I have not read or watched any of them since the last two years of President George W. Bush.

How can anyone (with a brain) believe anything they say, especially after seeing their complete breakdown when my president, Donald Trump, won the election. I want you to know that you are a great news team. Don’t let anyone cause you to doubt that fact.—Hazel Sproull, Glendale, Ariz.

Dear Daily Signal: I’ve just started reading articles in The Daily Signal as a direct consequence of The Washington Post’s position that it shouldn’t be part of the White House press pool (“The Daily Signal Won’t Be Bullied by the Establishment Media“). I am supportive of more diverse voices in the media.

I’m not a Republican, but I am absolutely tired of one-sided coverage and the demonization of close to half the population in the U.S. I think it’s repugnant that conservatives are portrayed as racist, sexist xenophobes in most of what I read. That is not my first-hand experience, and I find it analogous to name-calling on the playground.

Disappointingly, this intellectually dishonest approach is what currently passes for thoughtful discourse in many circles. It forces one to be skeptical of anything one reads these days, which is the main reason why we need different views.—Dean Mathieson

The GOP Split Over Obamacare Replacement

Dear Daily Signal: The Heritage Foundation, and The Daily Signal, are quickly losing my support by turning on President Donald Trump and House Speaker Paul Ryan over the Republican leadership’s health care bill.

I am not a legislative guru, but I do understand that the enemy of a good plan is to hold out for the perfect plan. The American Health Care Act was not a clean repeal of Obamacare, but it was what could be passed within the rules that control the scheduling and procedures of both chambers, the House and the Senate.

Additionally, it looked to me that Trump and Ryan offered all that was possible to the bill, and the House Freedom Caucus still refused to compromise—with their own party, for goodness sake. I am very disappointed.

I am as conservative as they come, but Heritage and the folks of the Freedom Caucus are obstructing the chance for conservatives to govern.—Roger Rudd

Dear Daily Signal: I am a loyal voter for President Trump. Because of that, I am very worried that his administration’s declaring “war” on the House Freedom Caucus or the Congress in general will paralyze his potential.

How can we convince our president to work with and not against the GOP majority in both houses, including the patriots of the Freedom Caucus? —Hal Miner

A Day Without Men

Dear Daily Signal: OK, if it so revealing to have a Day Without Women, let’s try a Day Without Men (“‘A Day Without a Woman’ Strike Promotes Idea of Women as Helpless“). Let’s see what happens when citizens need the police, the fire department, the military, and a thousand common, everyday needs filled.

The local plumber, carpenter, electrician. Air conditioning service, garbage collection, highway construction and maintenance. And on and on and on. The greatest deficit in America today is old-fashioned common sense.—Jerry J.

Our Bodies, Our Lives

Dear Daily Signal: Amazing premise that we “own’” our bodies, Walter Williams (“Are You Really Pro-Liberty? Here Are a Few Tests“)! How did we get to “own” them? We did not buy them, correct? They were given to us by something that we cannot describe or understand fully.

Mr. Williams might be talking in his commentary about our “lives,” which would be a better analogy, except that we were taught how to live by our parents. They were taught by those before them, and so on back about a couple of million years or so, correct?

How far back do we go in choosing a particular way of living? Only 30 years? 50? 100? 500? 2000? There are many examples throughout history that seem to have worked much better, and many that have worked much worse, than today’s lifestyle. Maybe Mr. Williams could compare a few of the good ones and some of the bad ones for us, so we could make an informed decision for ourselves.

Also, much of what I want in life cannot be bought, in my opinion. I would like to hear what Mr. Williams thinks about those things that cannot be bought.—Barry Benjamin

How Are We Doing?

Great job. The Republicans better stand up to the Democrats and get Neil Gorsuch onto the Supreme Court. Now. Don’t let them delay any longer, as we need a positive vote on issues.—Audrey Lauer

Your Morning Bell emails have an unexpected pleasant twist to them. You actually have an email address for people to submit comments and a phone number where you can be contacted.—Paul Saucier

My compliments. You are doing great with your reports every day.—Ingrid Dohler, Esko, Minn.

Great reporting, thank you.—Helen McBroom

I get lots of emails on political news, but your Morning Bell is the most concise and informative. I like the headlines so I can read more if I have time.—Carolyn Gilbertson

Great job. I appreciate the work that you do to provide real news reports. I depend on The Daily Signal for true and accurate information.—Tommy Wilson, Lilburn, Ga.

Awesome. Signed a friend up and plan on becoming a donor. Keep up the good work, and thank you for helping save our country.—Madelyn Vanacore, Sterling, Conn.

The post We Hear You: I’m a Sailor, a Marine, and a Transgender Woman Who Was Born This Way appeared first on The Daily Signal.

from http://www.therightnewsnetwork.com/we-hear-you-im-a-sailor-a-marine-and-a-transgender-woman-who-was-born-this-way/

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patriotnewsblogger-blog · 8 years ago

Text

We Hear You: I’m a Sailor, a Marine, and a Transgender Woman Who Was Born This Way

New Post has been published on http://www.therightnewsnetwork.com/we-hear-you-im-a-sailor-a-marine-and-a-transgender-woman-who-was-born-this-way/

We Hear You: I’m a Sailor, a Marine, and a Transgender Woman Who Was Born This Way

Do all humans fall into one standard shape and size and color, texture, functionality of genitals (whether male of female)? No. Huge statistical variety there, too.

Why must gender be excluded from the statistical variability that is so easily observed in all of human nature? Well, it’s not.

“It is your turn to stand in defense of my rights now,” Cassandra Leigh Williamson writes. “Trans people are under assault.” (Photo: Cassandra Leigh Williamson)

Thank God, though, we know how to correct the misalignment.

Note: Cassandra Leigh Williamson, who lives in a small town in Missouri, has a website at cassandraleighwilliamson.com and recently began a video blog on YouTube called “Cassandra Leigh.”

Crashing the White House ‘Pool’ Party

The GOP Split Over Obamacare Replacement

I am as conservative as they come, but Heritage and the folks of the Freedom Caucus are obstructing the chance for conservatives to govern.—Roger Rudd

How can we convince our president to work with and not against the GOP majority in both houses, including the patriots of the Freedom Caucus? —Hal Miner

A Day Without Men

Our Bodies, Our Lives

Also, much of what I want in life cannot be bought, in my opinion. I would like to hear what Mr. Williams thinks about those things that cannot be bought.—Barry Benjamin

How Are We Doing?

Great job. The Republicans better stand up to the Democrats and get Neil Gorsuch onto the Supreme Court. Now. Don’t let them delay any longer, as we need a positive vote on issues.—Audrey Lauer

Your Morning Bell emails have an unexpected pleasant twist to them. You actually have an email address for people to submit comments and a phone number where you can be contacted.—Paul Saucier

My compliments. You are doing great with your reports every day.—Ingrid Dohler, Esko, Minn.

Great reporting, thank you.—Helen McBroom

I get lots of emails on political news, but your Morning Bell is the most concise and informative. I like the headlines so I can read more if I have time.—Carolyn Gilbertson

Great job. I appreciate the work that you do to provide real news reports. I depend on The Daily Signal for true and accurate information.—Tommy Wilson, Lilburn, Ga.

Awesome. Signed a friend up and plan on becoming a donor. Keep up the good work, and thank you for helping save our country.—Madelyn Vanacore, Sterling, Conn.

The post We Hear You: I’m a Sailor, a Marine, and a Transgender Woman Who Was Born This Way appeared first on The Daily Signal.

http://www.therightnewsnetwork.com/we-hear-you-im-a-sailor-a-marine-and-a-transgender-woman-who-was-born-this-way/ %cats%

#conservative #republican

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dragimal · 8 years ago

Text

Sexuality is not Sustainable

I can guarantee I’m prolly not the first person to bring this up, but I have yet to come across anything explicitly addressing this issue myself (sidenote-- if anyone knows of a source handling this topic better than I ever could, plz feel free to send it my way!)

anyways, the interesting thing abt the concept of sexuality, at this point, is that it seems to be evolving much more slowly than the concept of gender. what I mean is that discourse around gender has shifted from (as this delightful post puts it), “all genders are valid and no gender is fake,” to, “all genders are fake and have no inherent validity.”

this is fantastic for gender-- we ABSOLUTELY need to shift our society more towards the assumption that gender is more-or-less bullshit and should have no effect on our ideas of self-image and worth

but where does this leave sexuality? as the concept of gender is questioned and deconstructed, it seems like ppl are forgetting to address this other social concept that is just as heavily structured on the idea of gender. sexuality can’t stay the same while gender shuffles and (hopefully eventually) falls apart, it just can’t work

think of it like this: if we are to assume that gender has no bearing on how someone talks, acts, or otherwise presents themselves (which is a valid assumption to make), then how can anyone “guess” another person’s gender if there are no inherent signals for gender?

so here we come to a dilemma that I will illustrate using an example: assume person A is only attracted to girls. A is put in a group of random ppl and told to find someone they’re attracted to. if we’re to assume the “typical” idea of sexuality, then A would prolly pick out someone who is wearing “feminine” clothing, or has an otherwise “feminine” appearance (we’ll call this “feminine” individual person B). but how is A to know that B is ACTUALLY a girl? B could easily be a girl, guy, neither, or both! and if B isn’t a girl, then is A expected to not be attracted to B anymore? because if A is expected to ONLY be attracted to girls, then allowing themself to be attracted to B could invalidate that B’s gender identity, right? but what if A suddenly ISN’T attracted to B anymore after learning they aren’t a girl? wouldn’t that just be considered incredibly shallow, for A to reject someone they were otherwise attracted to purely based on gender? what if A just bypasses all this and hollers at the crowd, “HEY, ALL THE GIRLS CAN STAY, EVERYONE ELSE CAN LEAVE.” wouldn’t that be just as shallow-- A didn’t use any personal traits like shared interests or physically attractive appearances to narrow down their decisions, they simply narrowed their starting options using an arbitrary label

when we break down sexuality like this, then what even IS sexuality in the first place? how can sexuality survive in the face of gender evolution?

the answer, as far as I can tell, is that sexuality can’t survive

just as gender is slowly being revealed as a defunct concept, sexuality too will be a useless ideal of the past

now none of this is to say that we need to drop sexuality cold turkey-- sexuality will be useless in the future, but it’s certainly not useless now! I’ll certainly still id as ace/pan until sexuality is dead or those labels don’t fit me anymore!

as LGBTQA+ rights and lives are threatened, we need labels to stand behind and fight for, because we can’t stand behind a concept without a name (at least as far as a highly language-oriented species like us is concerned). labels create shared meaning, and help us better understand one another without having to rattle out a rambling definition. that’s kind of the purpose of language in general

a sad (yet inevitable) drawback of labels is that they eventually constrict from a freeing form of understanding into a tightly-bordered construct. this is the other main point I wanted to get to-- how restrictive these labels for sexuality have become

while not all of these labels were originally made for our benefit, we’ve reclaimed many, and developed many more to help us understand ourselves. these labels were meant to free us from things like compulsory heterosexuality, yet I still see so much gatekeeping over who’s allowed “in” to certain sexualities: oh, you kind of liked that one boy? you can’t POSSIBLY be lesbian! oh, you kind of liked sex with that one person? you can’t POSSIBLY be ace! oh, you’ve only dated one girl but 5 guys? you can’t POSSIBLY be bi!

I see shit like this far. too. often.

and y’know, I get it-- wlw/mlm are afraid of straight ppl coming into their spaces and fetishizing their sexuality. homosexual folks don’t want their sexuality painted as “hypersexual” if aces are considered queer. I get it, we’ve all got a lot of vicious shit to be afraid of

but there’s a difference between defending your sexuality, and pushing away a young, confused queer person because, “they’re not [x sexuality] enough.” there’s a difference between protecting fellow queer ppl, and rejecting affiliation with someone who’s beginning to realize that a certain label doesn’t fit them quite right anymore. there’s a difference between defining your sexuality, and invalidating another person’s sexuality because the borders of their definition don’t neatly fit into yours

like, it just boggles my goddamn mind to think that ppl are arguing over shit like this and don’t realize how fuckin pointless it is! sexuality means nothing! sexuality doesn’t even exist!! why are y’all givin ppl so much grief over this!!! fuck!!!!

idk, maybe it’s b/c I identify as some pan/ace hybrid that I don’t understand this. I don’t have personal experience to tell me what it’s like to only be attracted to certain genders, and how strictly that holds true in any given situation. I’ll admit it-- I just don’t know

what I do know is this-- we are inherently restricted by human language. as of yet, we have not come up w/ a way to utter a single sound or gesture that conveys the EXACT meaning we’re trying to convey. I can’t say, “I’m sad,” and have you experience the exact form and level of sadness I could be feeling at that exact moment

language is restrictive. what we feel is not. labels can’t POSSIBLY capture the depth and fluidity of our attraction in any meaningful way. labels are our tools for communication and connection, but don’t let them tie you down to a concept that could never capture your feelings

#minementis and I have had convos related to this before and we're both kinda like #just like the ppl u like!!#sexuality #gender #shut up ashley #long post

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