#the other self indulgent part says sanji finally gets Something through his thick skull

[camels-pen]

completely unrelated thought to literally anything i've been doing today:

canon Sanji getting swapped with a Sanji from a genderswap AU. key point is that everyone's p much the same personality wise

there are crises going on. but mostly for canon Sanji lmao

this includes:

Luffy still likes to walk around w/ an open shirt

Franky also still likes to walk around w/ an open shirt

Usopp, guess what, also likes to walk around w/ an open shirt

granted, Usopp at least wears crop tops sometimes

Brook looks pretty much the same except for speaking mannerisms / voice pitch; startles the hell out of Sanji bc he keeps expecting it to be his Brook until a Skull Joke comes out of those chuckling teeth

The knee jerk reaction to Robin and Nami keeps crossing wires- one moment Sanji will just register a guy in his peripheral but not who he's speaking to and cuss and complain and shit. then the realization will kick in and he'll be caught up trying to apologize, but then wondering if he does need to apologize because uh, Nami and Robin are guys here right?? and they're not his Nami and Robin, but at the same time he can't just be rude to Nami and Robin-

he ends up staring into space for a while thinking in circles about it

Zoro is now of the gender he typically dotes on

"H-Hey, Moss-chan-"

"Don't call me that"

"Right. You want a smoothie?"

"I'm not gonna fuck you."

Usopp is the easiest to dote on, followed by Chopper, Franky, and Luffy. funny thing is, aside from Zoro, none of them have complained about/refused said doting. Sanji is reassuring himself that his list doesn't mean anything. he's not falling for Usopp just because of a pair of tits. that'd be ridiculous. after all his Usopp has got plenty big tits already-

he slams his head into a wall trying to forget that thought

also. he has no outlet for any frustration/anger/overwhelming feelings because he's got his code of chivalry thing. so he can't fight Zoro and he doesn't want to fight Robin or Nami. he starts smoking more to compensate, but then he either runs out or Chopper intervenes and gets him to promise to limit his use

in short. suffering.

This Nami and Robin do notice though & while Nami very much does not want to fight Sanji on account of, yknow, not wanting any broken bones or terrible injuries, Robin on the other hand-

He knew it'd help Sanji and it'd be nice to have a sparring partner to practice the more deadly things he can do on someone who can handle it, so he's kinda like "if it'll help, i don't mind sparring"

Sanji is caught between "oh fuck yes, finally someone to kick" and "I CANT HURT ROBIN-KUN"

the sparring ends up very pathetic on Sanji's side of things- think his fight with Kalifa but without him trying to bluff and looking openly stressed- Usopp listens to Sanji's woes about it later while she tinkers on inventions lmao

Usopp is also oddly clingy with Sanji, more so than his own Usopp. However, Sanji doesn't even bother thinking about it, just happy to soak up all the affection. He always has some sort of crisis thinking about his own Usopp later though.

Zoro, and I cannot stress this enough, is a woman. a buff, sweaty, mossball of a woman.

so yeah, suffering.

fem sanji, on the other hand:

having the time of her life

proud bisexual woman going "dear god, so many hot guys- wait shit, is that mosshead"

starts getting "overly friendly" with Usopp- laying his head in her lap, playing with his hair, carrying him around, calling him pet names, making him special snacks, etc.

everyone else puts it together real quick, except Usopp. who doesn't realize the answer until fem Sanji gives him a goodbye kiss on the cheek before going to prep for dinner

The answer: fem Usopp and fem Sanji are dating

fem Sanji: he's Usopp, therefore he's my partner in this flipped world, therefore I gotta treat him right while his own Sanji isn't here

Usopp wants to tell her the truth. but also. doesn't.

he is a mix of guilt and happiness every time he doesn't speak up and gets some gesture of love from her

in conclusion: one way or another, there is suffering all around <3