#and stan screaming his heart out cause the only way he can express his emotions is through song

[thecrowthatdraws]

@styleweek day 1, Pining :) 

the song is Lonely Day by System of a Down btw

[lulu24784]

washing machine heart | part 4

"I know who you pretend I am."

[AO3 Link]

previous chapter | next chapter

synopsis: | You're absolutely infatuated with Stan Marsh and have even started dating him! It should be a dream come true, but the truth is, he's only with you to make Wendy Testaburger jealous. To help you work through your emotions, you turn to Kenny McCormick, your best friend.

pairings: | kenny mccormick x fem! reader ; stan marsh x fem! reader ; wendy testaburger x stan marsh

cws: | angst, drug use/drug mentions, explicit language, sexual content, unrequited love, mental health themes / sh

everyone is aged up to be 18+

Kenny’s nose perked up as the aroma of pancakes filled the room.

He fluttered open his eyes and groaned. Sleeping on the floor wasn’t ideal. Especially when he glanced over to his side and realized you weren’t there.

He took in his surroundings slowly, trying to adjust to being awake. It was early in the morning, and he was snuggled under a mountain of pillows and blankets while breakfast was being prepared. More than he had fallen asleep with. When you woke up, he wondered if you had put extra blankets over him.

What a cute sight that would have been… 

He sat up and extended his arms and legs. Shivering somewhat as a result of the blankets’ lack of contact. A yawn escaped his lips, and he rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he reached for a blanket and wrapped it over himself before slowly rising to his feet.

He could hear noise coming from the kitchen, so he made his way to the table and sat down. He shifted his gaze to you.

Breakfast was being prepared by you; pancakes and bacon.

As you filled plates with delicious-smelling food, you didn’t notice his presence. You hummed happily to yourself as you topped the pancakes with whipped cream and strawberries. Your face somewhat aglow with a smile.

Kenny couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

Even though he had previously spent the night when you were younger, this was the first time in a while that you had allowed him to stay. There you were, looking adorable in your jammies and bedhead... making breakfast for him.

You looked absolutely ethereal in his eyes. His beautiful princess; his angel. 

“Oh! Ken, good morning.”

You had already moved away from the stove and set his meal in front of him. After making your way over to the refrigerator, you reached in and pulled out a bottle of syrup before sitting down next to the blonde and flashing him a warm smile.

“How was your sleep? Sorry, the floor kinda sucks. You should’ve woke me up! We could’ve moved to the bedroom or something.”

Kenny looked down at his food as his cheeks flushed slightly at your words.

“The floor’s fine.” Muttering, he stuffed his mouth with the fluffy pancakes.

They’re so fucking good. Marry me.

Kenny glanced over at you, seeing you also devour the pancakes you had made. He let out a soft chuckle.

“So, what time are we going to Cartman’s?” You set your fork down, having already finished your breakfast.  

“Around three. I’ll probably head home to check on Karen and then I can come pick you up?” 

“Yeah, sure! I gotta shower and stuff, anyway.

Kenny smirked.

“We could shower together before I go?” You shot him an unimpressed glance as he raised his eyebrows at you.

Kenny just laughed, although his heart was screaming at him. He hoped against hope that you would see through his charade and realize that his advances were genuine. Sure, he flirted with practically every girl he spoke with, but it was different for you. It felt special. Just saying those words aloud to you caused his palms to sweat and his heart to race. 

Although he adored it, he harboured some resentment for it. Why couldn’t you just be another girl? Why, of all people, did he have to develop feelings for you? He wanted nothing more than to-

“Kenny?”

His attention immediately jumped to you. 

You had a curious expression on your face as you reached for his plate.

“Are you done? I’m gonna do dishes.”

“Oh... Uh, yeah. Here...”

Kenny rose up, grabbed his plate, and walked over to the sink.

“I’ll do them. You go get ready.”

He gave you a crooked smile and then got down to doing the dishes. You thanked him with a light touch on the back and headed upstairs to get ready. Your touch nearly caused Kenny to melt.

-----------------------

Three o’clock rolled around, and Kenny pulled up to your house in his dad’s beat-up old pickup.

You entered the vehicle and took a seat.

Although the truck smelled strongly of motor oil and marijuana, you didn’t particularly mind. To be honest, you almost felt at ease because Kenny always had a slight marijuana odour. It was him. 

The drive to Cartman’s was quick and soon enough, the two of you were walking through the door.

The three friends, Stan, Kyle, and Eric, were lounging together on the couch and watching an old episode of Terrance and Phillip. Kenny flopped down in front of them on the floor and drew his knees up to his chest.

The eyes of all three boys shifted to you.

Cartman huffed, evidently irritated that you had interrupted their bro time.

The fact that you were there didn’t seem to bother Kyle, who offered you a tiny wave and a smile. He wasn’t someone you talked to all that much, but you were aware of his occasionally good nature. After all, he was Stan’s best friend.

Your attention wandered to Stan. He looked right at you, but you couldn’t tell what he was thinking. What was he feeling? You became uneasy. Was he surprised? Was he unhappy? You took a deep breath and smiled as broadly as you could muster.

“H-Hey! Um... “

“What’re you doing here?” Stan’s attention was still fixed on you.

“Oh, uh...” You fussed a little with your skirt. Oh, shit... Is he upset that you came over? He did say he couldn’t hang out with you today. Perhaps you undervalued the significance of guys’ day.

“Kenny invited me.” You spoke while giving Kenny a fleeting glance.

Kenny’s hood had been pulled over his head, so you couldn’t see his facial expressions either.

Fuck.

“Dude,” Stan nudged Kenny. “She’s my girlfriend. Why’re you inviting her?”

“Mmph.” 

Kenny’s words were unclear. You hadn’t realized until just now that Kenny seldom ever removed his hood while he was around his friends. For a split second, you wondered the reason why before returning your focus to your partner.

Stan, evidently annoyed, pinched his nose between his thumb and index finger. He sighed, but looked at you keenly nonetheless. With a grin on his face, he made space for you to sit down between him and Kyle by shifting his weight slightly. 

Your heart beat faster. 

You hesitantly walked over and took a seat, sandwiched between Kyle and Stan. Within seconds, Stan had his arm around your shoulder and was drawing you close to him. His unoccupied hand began intertwining with yours and his breath tickled you as he gave you a quick kiss next to your ear, making you somewhat tense.

He was being very affectionate with you in front of his friends. What was happening? This was incredibly out of character for him. But, dear god, you didn’t care. Thoughts about your partner keep circling in your head and making you feel hazy.

He’s so perfect. So amazing. He smells soooo good. 

Kyle and Cartman scowled at you two while demanding that you both find a room. Kenny sat in silence, fiddling with the strings of his parka.

After an initial round of bickering, the group finally settled down and began to concentrate on their game. Even though there weren’t enough controllers for the five of you, you were happy enough to just sit back, watch, and root for Stan. He would turn to you in triumph after winning a round, and you would fawn over him even more. You comforted him with pats on the head and kisses on the cheek whenever he came out on the losing end.

Every time you would applaud for Stan, Kyle and Cartman would sulk and complain that he was only succeeding because of you. If he didn’t have a “cute” girl by his side, he’d lose every single time. Hah, yeah right. You repressed the thoughts that threatened to break you apart. You decided that you weren’t going to give insecurity a chance to win right now. As everything was going so well, you didn't want to sabotage it by thinking something negative. Quickly, you tried to turn your attention to something else.

That’s when you noticed that Kenny had hardly spoken while you were there. Given that Kenny was a competent gamer, the fact that he hadn’t won a round came as a bit of a shock. You speculated that maybe he was still tired. Sleeping on your floor probably didn’t provide him with the best night’s rest. 

You reached out and gently touched Kenny’s head, and he turned his surprised face to yours. Offering him a toothy grin, you patted his head.

“You got this next round.” 

Kenny froze where he was. He hesitated a bit, but eventually he nodded at you before returning to his game. He straightened up in preparation for an intense round of gaming. He was going to kick everyone’s ass now.

Stan made a face at you and then pulled you back towards him. You turned to look at him and there he was, making a tiny pouty face towards you.

“Why’re you cheering for him?” He whined.

The realization suddenly hit you like a tonne of bricks. Stan was jealous. It made him envious that Kenny had brought you instead of him. That’s why he’d become so touchy. But... If he was that upset, why didn’t he ask you?

Ugh

You brushed the thought aside and allowed yourself to take pleasure in knowing that you had succeeded in stirring Stan’s jealousy. Over you! Wow, it felt amazing. You nearly felt a surge from the feeling. You wanted to keep doing it. More, more, more. You needed him to be wailing and pleading to be by your side.

You went cold.

Ah, this is exactly how he feels, isn’t it? When he makes Wendy jealous with me... 

Throughout the day, you put in a lot of effort to suppress any unpleasant or depressing ideas that might have crossed your mind. Only for it all to come crumbling down with a single thought.

Wendy.

Wendy, Wendy, Wendy. It was always about Wendy! Why couldn’t it be about you?! Why did that one person make you feel so bad about yourself?! No... You paused. 

Why did Stan make you feel so inadequate? 

Your face contorted in discomfort, and you had the sensation that you were going to vomit.

Kenny had jumped out of the blue and pumped his fists into the air suddenly. You were able to make out a muffled “Woohoo!” as the boy turned to face you with his eyes glowing with excitement. Every negative feeling left your body as you raised your gaze to meet his.

“Mmph mmph!” 

“You won!” 

You sprang up from the couch in an instant and gave Kenny a bear hug.

“I told ya! Good job!” 

Before you knew it, Kenny had picked you up and was whirling you around in his arms. You barely had time to register what was happening.

You just couldn’t help but laugh. Kyle and Cartman joined in, well, mostly Kyle. Cartman just yelled about how Kenny had cheated.

For a split second, you met Stan’s dark stare.

Oh man, he was livid. His envy was practically oozing from him. You would have to handle this later.

-----------------------

As the night progressed, everyone continued playing games.

Kyle and Stan commenced packing, and Kenny soon followed. Cartman complained that he was exhausted and demanded that everyone leave immediately.

“Mmph?” Kenny glanced across at you as he put on his shoes.

“Uh, no, dude.” Stan positioned himself next to you and put his arm around your shoulders. “I’ll take her home.”

Kenny scowled, appreciating that his hood had kept his face hidden.

As everyone had said their goodbyes, Stan was there promptly to assist you in getting into his vehicle. 

He double-checked that you were safely fastened in before taking off at high speed—and not in the direction of your home.

Stan refused to answer your inquiry about where you were going, simply shrugging and staring out the window. If you were in this circumstance with anyone else, you would likely panic. Instead, you choose to listen to the soothing music on the radio while leaning your head on the window and letting Stan take you wherever he pleased.

[stray-kids-react]

Idol crush teasing them

Masterlist

...

Bang Chan

° You were covering IOI's iconic song 'Very Very Very'. Which involved a lot of adorable dance moves and intentional aegyo. Doing things to Chan's heart very intentionally.

° Bang Chan's crush on you started ever since they were performing their debut stage, you cheered them on from the crowd and even told your fans to stan Stray Kids whenever you went on vlive.

° Your group was as popular as Exo and Redvelvet, so to see someone so big in the entertainment industry love his band's music... Truly did something to his heart.

° Bang Chan reached out to you a few months after their debut stage, and asked if you would be interested in dueting with him. You of course agreed, because he's Bang mother fucking Chan.

° The night you stayed in his studio, recording different tones of your voices in sync. With steaming cups of coffee in both of your hands, and a tired grin plastered across his face. That was the night you truly felt a connection to one another.

° You both have performed sexy, charismatic, and cute songs in front of one another. But you both always looked for each other in the crowds when performing, feeling a rush of joy when you find one another.

"Hyung, the camera is coming your way. Don't make your crush to obvious." Lee Know murmured, with an unfazed expression.

"I'll try... Y/n just looks so cute." He sighed, smiling shyly as you sang.

Lee Know

° You and Minho had a very strange relationship, you both liked each other and knew that. But both of you wouldn't fess up to it until the other one did.

° You and Minho would take turns teasing each other without either fandom knowing knowing, mostly focusing on doing sexy stages. You were covering Girl's Day 'Something', which was VERY sensual.

° You stood out the most in the performance according to netizens, wondering what possessed you to become this sensual God. But Stray Kids' knew what caused it.

° That whole performance reminded him why he liked you, the confident and charismatic energy that you brought to each performance was a hypnotic trance. Minho knew he wasn't going to hold back anymore.

° Once you headed backstage for the dressing rooms, he got up and followed. You were waiting for one of the rooms to be free, when a gentle tap on your shoulder caught your attention. It was Minho, who had a much softer gaze then he usually had.

° His hands lightly cupped your face, as he leaned in slowly. He didn't care if you were warm and sweaty, you were still as attractive as you usually are. His lips your soft, you could feel the slightly curve of a smile when you finally began to kiss him back.

"I guess this means our competition is over." You teased, giggling softly. Trying to hide how truly bashful you were.

"And it means, I can kiss you all the time." He replied, staring back at your lips.

Changbin

° Your group and Stray Kids were very close, and decided that you'd bless the fans with a reality show together. Everyone was hyped for this idea, but bittersweet for Binnie.

° Changbin was excited to see everyone and hang around you, but he was also nervous because he'd be around you and probably have to do something embarrassing. He didn't know how you would react to it either.

° The first episode would take place at an amusement park, where an aegyo battle was the decision for who would go on the first ride. Changbin was thrilled to see you do it.

° You perfected the aegyo without becoming awkward or over the top. You impressed him with your direct cuteness, so he wanted to repay the treat. Which got him to winning the first challenge with you.

° Changbin had to ride a very intimidating ride, and also ride it next to his crush. He has never felt so nervous before then he did when he was strapped in right next to you. You seemed antsy for the large drop coming your way, by the tightness of your grip.

° He held onto your hand like his life depended on it, screaming in pure fear mixed with excitement. You giggled sweetly at his clingy behavior, letting him hold onto you as tight as he wanted. You even stroked his hair gently once it finished.

"Are you okay Bin Bin?" you questioned, creating a new nickname that he loved immediately once it left you mouth.

"Y-yeah, thanks for holding me." He responded, a shy blush across his cheeks.

Hyunjin

° Hyunjin is very charismatic, talented, and attractive. He's the whole package, so who wouldn't be crushing on him? You were different however, because he knew about it.

° One of your members teased you a bit too loud, and Hyunjin heard... Everything. And it was evident, due to the smirk that was plastered across his lips. To make things worse, you had to perform with him.

° You were both doing a special stage where you did a cover of 'Hush' by Miss A. You knew Hyunjin was going to kill it, thanks to practicing with him for 2 months straight.

° But on stage, he looked different then when he did while practicing. A new flare of confidence and passion behind his eyes, and they seemed to peirce right into your soul. He wanted a reaction from you.

° You weren't going to be a flustered mess on stage infront of so many fandom and bands, so you just continued the performance as if nothing was wrong. You got tired of him playing with your emotions, so you teased him back just as well as he could.

° Everyone saw the chemistry on stage and couldn't get over how well you both worked together. The ending pose sent shock waves throughout both fandoms, your faces only inches from one another's. A small smile on your lips as he tried to lean in.

"I saw you try to lean in Jinnie." You teased, poking his chest as he fanned himself. You were happy when he didn't deny it.

"Well you were the one teasing me." He retorted, pouting cutely as you giggled.

Han

° You were a guest MC on weekly idol, interviewing Stray Kids who you were already quite close to. Many fans and members shipping you with Jisung.

° You were challenged to try and effect the member's heart beats, by doing aegyo or acting sexy. You were much more confident in aegyo, and aimed towards the members you knew you could possibly crack.

° Jisung smiled within the first ten seconds of your aegyo skit, his heart increasing by each pose you made. All of the members began teasing relentlessly afterwards.

° When the hosts asked why he was so easy to break, he admitted to finding you attractive and charismatic. You were taken aback by his honesty, but also flattered by his words... Especially since you liked him.

° The interview continued, but you tried your best to make him just a tiny bit more flustered. Talking cutely in purpose and doing shy aegyo, that only some noticed when you began to do it.

"So would you date me?" You questioned, once the cameras cut and the Jisung was away from everyone else.

"In an instant." He replied, showing off his bright gummy smile.

Felix

° Even though Felix is a very attractive idol with a deep ass voice and hot stage presence, he is honestly a huge softie who everyone loves and wants to protect.

° So seeing you have a very sensual dance break during your performance, would make him very shy on the inside. He'd keep composure due to the cameras that surrounded him, but he was suffering inside.

° Felix had a crush on you since before he debuted, being a fan of your music and you were his bias. You found out from another member, and decided to test if it were true.

° You looked over at him while you laid across the stage for a split second, smirking softly as you winked quickly. The members all saw your flirtation towards Felix, and teased him quietly as he sat there in shock.

° Once the performance ended, your group went back to the table which was right next to Stray Kids'. All of there eyes latched onto yours as you sat down like you didn't just wink at Felix during a sensual performance. But you were secretly scared you went too far.

° The cameras cut for commercial, and Stray Kids approached your table. Felix standing right beside you, smiling brightly once he noticed your very obvious blush filled cheeks. He couldn't notice them with the dim lit table set up.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel awkward, I just like you and though you-" you ranted, feeling your confidence fade away.

"Don't worry about it, I like you too." He chuckled, brushing the hair from your eyes.

Seungmin

° You were a solo artist, after your temporary group from produce 101 disbanded. Your music was well known, and you were one of the more successful members.

° Seungmin was a huge fan of yours, and it was as obvious as his liking in Day6. The only difference, is the tint of pink that would cross along his features when he mentioned your name. He was crushing on you hard.

° Seungmin was waiting backstage as the other members were getting touch ups done, you noticed him in the crowd and were relieved to see a familiar face.

° Seungmin felt his heart begin to skip a few beats as you approached, feeling the heat rise to his cheeks once the first words left you mouth. He had to respond, he just didn't know how to when you looked so good.

° Changbin noticed how nervous Seungmin was and decided to step in and save the day. He took you towards the food table to get some punch, he assumed Seungmin had confessed due to how shy he was acting. But Changbin assumed very wrong.

° Once the words 'you' and 'crush' left his lips, a gentle smile was placed upon your features. You left your cup on the table and began walking back to Seungmin, who was still a blushing mess. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you pecked his nose.

"I have a crush on you too Seungmin." You commented, burrowing into the crook of his neck as he tried to process what happened.

Seungmin looked up at Changbin, silently asking "How did you do this?"

Jeongin

° You and Jeongin were beat friends since you were trainees, many people seeing you as a sibling type of relationship. Jeongin saw it like that for a year, before his crush began.

° Only Chan knew about it, and it was by complete accident. Your name slipped out his mouth when talking to Chan about crushes and the best looking idols, the bright grin that graced Chan' face was priceless.

° You noticed Jeongin acting differently around you recently, so you searched up if any rumors were spreading towards your best friends... Instead it was a ship.

° There videos of Jeongin crushing on you, ship moments, videos of you flirting... It was endless. And you started to wonder if these videos were true evidence of something you were very oblivious to.

° The next day Chan and Jeongin were visiting your group to see your dance practice, little did they know that it was going to be a sensual choreography. Rather than the regular upbeat and slightly cute aesthetic everyone was use to.

° Jeongin was shocked to see you in this light, never expecting to see you crawl over the floor with a darker gaze in your eyes. Chan tried to hold back his laughter, Jeongin's ears were burning red and you noticed this immediately.

"So you do like me. Don't you?" You questioned, panting slightly due to the intense choreography.

"How'd you find out?" he chuckled, trying to cover his bright red ears.

[fallen-gravity]

Soft Hearts and After-Midnight Talks

Ford can’t let go of the past. Mabel can’t stop worrying about the future.

Put together, they’re a melting pot of insomnia and overwhelming emotions.

AO3 Link

Love had never come easy to Ford. 

As a kid, his father always said it wasn’t manly to show affection. It made a man weak to wear his heart on his sleeve, and he was merely doing him a favor by showing him tough love, because out in the real world the men who put their emotions first would get torn to shreds. 

His mother tried her hardest, but she too had times where she was too busy running her psychic hotline or helping Pa run the pawn shop to pay him much attention.

Ford supposes the closest he ever had to unconditional love as a kid came from Stan. Whenever Ma or Pa were too busy, or the kids at school were screaming and running from his deformity, he knew he could always rely on Stan to be there for him. He’d always been the one to throw a punch for him, to talk him through a panic attack, patch up the scrapes and black eyes he’d received from Crampelter, or even assure him that getting a B minus on an exam wasn’t the end of the world, even if his eyes were rolling into the back of his skull the entire time he said it.

 But even that sort of love felt fickle. The night of the science fair, it felt as though something inside of Ford shriveled up and died, and he knew that the rejection from West Coast Tech was only the half the cause of it.

When Stan drove off into the night, it’s as if he took that shriveled up little piece of Ford with him as his grand final fuck you. 

After that, Ford tried everything he could. In college he buried himself into the research he was most passionate for, but that could only get him so far when Fiddleford would drag him to bed and force him to be alone with his thoughts. He’d tried going out drinking to forget said thoughts, but he learned the hard way that he was an emotional drunk and alcohol only made those thoughts worse. 

If there’s anything he did know, it’s that this lack of love in his life could probably explain how he was able to fall for Bill’s cunning tricks so easy.

“Unlovable?” Bill’s words still rang in the back of his head. “By the time this portal’s finished, you’ll have the whole world at your feet! You’ll be a household name! There’ll be thousands cheering the name Stanford Pines, the man who changed the world!” 

What a fool he’d been, blissfully ignoring all of the warning signs for even the slightest chance that a gateway between worlds could earn him love.

What an even bigger fool he’d been to turn away his brother’s love even after ten years of nothing but fear and resentment standing between them.

Ford sighs. He knows, logically, that dwelling on the past will only make things worse. He knows things are okay between him and Stan now. They’re setting off on their first journey on the Stan-O War II next week; things couldn’t get any better between them.

But he also knows that insomnia and intrusive thoughts are a package deal. He’d tried sitting out on the front porch to gaze at the stars and feel the late-summer air on his face to relax, but his inner demons always find their way. 

There’s a tiny knock on the doorframe behind him. He jumps at the noise, and turns to see who else could possibly be awake at nearly three in the morning. He’s half expecting Stan, but to his surprise it’s Mabel, sleepily rubbing at her eyes with one hand and holding a half-empty cup of ice water in the other. 

“Grunkle Ford?” her voice is groggy and strained. “Is that you?” 

“Mabel?” is the only comprehensive response that comes out. “What are you doing up so late?” 

“Dipper cursed me with his insomnia and now I can’t sleep” she pouts, and takes a sip from her cup like it’s a shot glass as he joins him on the couch. “Why are you still up, Grunkle Ford?” she squints. “I feel like I should ask you the same question” 

He chuckles. “Nothing you need to worry about, dear. I’m just doing some thinking”

“Hmmm…” she squints long and hard at him, like she’s trying to read his mind. “Okay, but I’m watching you. I’m the expert at annoying people until they tell me what’s bothering them” 

Ford can’t help but smile. “Noted,” he replies, and shifts his position so he’s facing more towards her. “What about you? I’m the expert in insomnia, so I can’t imagine it’s the only thing keeping you awake"

For the briefest of moments, Mabel’s playful smile drops. She hides the sudden shift by taking another sip of water.

“What? Psshhh…” she dismisses the thought with a wave of her hand. “That’s silly! Everyone knows insomnia means you can’t sleep for no reason. Some expert you are, Grunkle Ford” 

She smiles, but it’s strained, and fake, and nothing like the usual smile she flashes when she’s joking around. 

“Mabel.” Ford says once, in a firm yet soft tone, and she winces. 

“Okay, fine” she mumbles, and drinks the rest of the water from her cup before she continues. “I’ve been having some dumb thoughts too”. 

Ford shakes his head. “There’s no such thing as a dumb thought, Mabel. Even if it’s bothering you, it’s indicative of how you’re really feeling” he pats gently at his lap, inviting her to scoot closer. “Maybe I can help” he smiles, ever so slightly, ever so softly. “Even us experts mess up in our own fields sometimes” 

She moves too quickly into his arms for a hug for him to read her expression properly. 

“Then I feel like a big dumb hypocrite” Mabel murmurs into Ford’s sweater, her voice on the edge of breaking. 

Ford frowns, and places an arm around her to reciprocate the hug. “What for?”

Mabel scrunches up his sweater in her fists. “I...I made this whole big ordeal about Dipper wanting to stay here with you after the summer’s over for the apprenticeship, and I still don’t want us to be apart, but…”  she buries her face into his sweater, like she’s ashamed of herself for even daring to speak them. “...now that summer’s actually over, and Dipper and I are supposed to be leaving in the morning, I’m not sure I even want to leave” 

Her voice finally breaks, and she sniffles into his sweater. “Everyone’s always saying that the real world is so scary, and high school is the worst, and all these things about not knowing what you had until it’s gone, and...I don’t want it to be gone, Grunkle Ford, I love Gravity Falls. But I can’t just tell Dipper that, because then he’ll get all worried, and think that he did something wrong, because he’s already apologized for what he said when we were fighting a thousand times, and-”

Ford gently grips Mabel’s shoulders to cut her off, and pulls her away to make her look him in the eyes. “Mabel, are you going through all of this trouble because you’re worried you’re going to...miss Gravity Falls when you get home?”

“Not just the town!” Mabel exclaims, and rubs at her eyes with her wrist. “I’m gonna miss everything! I’m gonna miss the Shack, I’m gonna miss my friends, I’m gonna miss you and Stan,” she counts off on her fingers and sighs. “I miss everyone at home. I do. But now that I have so many friends here, I don’t want to feel like I’m leaving them behind”

There’s a brief pause, but before Ford can open his mouth to respond, Mabel goes on, murmuring so quietly it’s as if she doesn’t mean to speak out loud at all. 

“Or...I don’t want to feel like they’re leaving me behind.”

...Oh.

The fear of being left behind.

Forgotten.

The fear of becoming….unlovable. 

That….Ford knows better than anybody. 

“Mabel, listen to me,” Ford gently tugs on her chin to force her to make eye contact with him. “Nobody in this town is ever going to forget you. It doesn’t matter if you’re gone for a year, or three, or ten, I can guarantee that the next time you step foot in this town everyone’s going to remember the name Mabel Pines”

“You...really think so?” she blushes. 

“I know so,” he nods. “And it’s got nothing to do with Weirdmageddon, or saving the world, or any of that. It’s because you’re magnetic, Mabel. You’ve got a personality that everyone loves. I bet that pizza delivery man you became pen pals with is just sitting at home eagerly awaiting his first letter from you” 

She giggles. “I don’t know about that…” 

“Still,” Ford continues, “You’ve shown kindness to everyone, Mabel. People don’t forget kindness easily.” he gestures out towards the forest. “Gravity Falls may not be your home, but the people who lived here sure don’t seem to see it that way. You’re not just a tourist, or just some kid visiting her great uncle, you’re one of them.” he beams. “They’re lucky to have had you, Mabel, even just for the one summer” 

Her eyes have pools of tears in them, but the beaming smile on her face outshines them. She hurls herself at him in a tight hug, burying her face deep into his sweater. 

“I’m lucky to have you too, Grunkle Ford” she murmurs. “I love you”

I love you.

Ford hasn’t had those words spoken to him since he was a kid. 

I love you.

It feels like he’s floating on air, and the most grounded he’s felt in decades. It’s freeing, and exhilarating, yet it’s comfortable, and warm. It’s unfamiliar, yet everything he ever lost. 

The words ring in his ears and bounce around in his chest before they settle comfortably into the piece of his heart that had been broken for decades.

I love you. 

Mabel Pines, after everything he’s put her through, loves him. 

A sound escapes him that’s halfway between choking and sobbing. He pulls her even closer into his arms, and silently vows to never let the cruel world dig its pessimistic claws into her for as long as she lives.

“I love you too,” he manages to whisper, and gives her a smooch on the top of her head.

[mimik-u]

“Homeworld Bound” Thoughts:

I wasn’t going to watch this one today, but then I realized that I really missed the Diamonds and wanted to consume novel content, so!

OOH, good on the show for taking us directly to the aftermath of “Fragments” instead of putting space between the episodes. That’s just... a really good choice narrative wise.

Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl’s expressions are so distressing here. He’s been gone for three days; they must’ve been so worried.

Jasper steps aside to reveal an absolutely ruined Steven.

He just technically killed a gem and then resurrected her. How intensely will that forever lie on his psyche? Oh my g od

NO, NOT JASPER PASSIVELY MAKING THE DIAMOND SIGN IN THE BACKGROUND AUGH

“You can’t just disappear for days without telling us!”

Steven silent walking up to the Observatory as the Gems continue to freak the fuck out is harrowing. And Dee Dee Magno Hall is killing it with her voice acting here. The simultaneous fear and anger and horror in her voice. Oh my g d

“You guys... I love you, but you can’t help me anymore. I’ve been avoiding the only people in the entire universe who can.” 🥺 This is sad, but I’m also, like, problematic grandmas time!!!!!

“Find something better to do with your life.” God, Jasper’s look of disbelief and sadness here. I didn’t really delve into this during my “Fragments” watch because I was just roridoodwrjfkrkeke reeling, but her reaction to being accidentally shattered is psychologically devastating???? I’d wager that she simultaneously respects the fact that she’s been subjugated by a being more powerful than her, that she’s grateful to Steven for being both subjugator and savior, and likely, she’s conflating this new loyalty with her former loyalty for Pink. This is a really complex psyche (a tragic one most of all).

Garnet: “Steven, remember, we’ll always be your family.” I’m so fucki n emo

AWHWHWH, HOMEWORLD IS SO BRIGHT AND COLORFUL NOW!!!

YO!! Homeworld has a democracy now!! The Zircons!!!!!!!

THE WALL GEM IS MOVING??????? KWOEOEIDJDKSJS

Can u imagine being a wall cursed with sentience. that is so funny on so many levels

But it’s also really interesting, too. If the Wall Gem is a gem in the way say Topazes are gems, which, judging by her mobility, she is—then her explicit purpose in Era 1-2, as molded by presumably Yellow, was to b a wall omg. (Or, arguably, I think it can be argued that the inanimate object Gems, like Comby, were probably accidental sentient creations, made in relationship to their proximity to the Diamonds during their various secretion rituals!!)

Anyway, I love thinking about Homeworld worldbuilding. It’s fascinating.

SQUARE PERIDOT

SPIIIIIINELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

Her heart eyes!! She looks so happy!

Steven, angry af: “Spinel, what is wrong with you?” / Spinel: Oh, you know—the usual.” KEKDSKDK

Also, Steven really wanted to say fuck there. NEKDDKKSSKKS

“I was such a wreck then, but I am so much better now.” We stan character growth 😭😭

One thing I have loved the Crewniverse so much for doing is never taking away the physical signs of gems’ mental distress, even after they’ve gotten better: Blue’s eye bags, Volleyball’s eye, Spinel’s running mascara. That is so important.

YELLOW SITTING AT HER LIL VANITY!!

IT’S LIGHT INSIDE HER ROOM! THERE R FLOWERS! THRIVE, QUEEN, THRIVE.

YELLOW REVERSING HER GEM EXPERIMENTS OH MY G D

FUCKING QUEEN!!!!!!

(I’m sorry in advance. The rest of the live blog is just going to be screaming about the Diamonds.)

“I can permanently alter any physical form!” She’s so proud of herself. 😭😭😭 I fuckin’ love her.

Yellow laying down on the ground like that is SENDING ME SKSKSJSJ.

Ugh, and her being such a good mom to Spinel. I’m cry in f

“If anything’s out of proportion, it’s your temper. You can be big if you want to, or you can be small if you want to, but if you’re going to be upset no matter what, then this problem isn’t physical—it’s emotional. Go see Blue.”

I really like her advice here because it’s advice that comments so clearly on her own character arc. At her lowest, she was quick to anger, aggressive, and temperamental, which she diagnoses in Steven here. Additionally, she was the Diamond who was concerned largely with physical actions. She coped by maintaining the Empire through conquering planets and maintaining the minutiae of leadership; she thought the only way to receive justice for Pink was through the physical act of destruction. And in doing so, she pushed her own emotions deep, deep down until they manifested in anger, aggressiveness, and temperamental outbursts. This hurt the people she cared about, and it hurt herself most of all.

Also, “Go see Blue. That is her department.” Ejdoiddjdjjsjdjdks, “go see ur other grandma.”

BLUE FLOATING ON A CLOUD!!!!!

“Your powers have been causing you dramatic mood swings? That seems awfully troubling Steven.” God I love her

“You don’t seem troubled.” This is a really interesting line because it comments on how Blue’s emotions, especially her negatively charged ones, used to be so visible all over her; indeed, she both wittingly and actively used to project them on other Gems, forcing them to feel her suffering, too.

OH, SHE GOES ON TO SAY THE EXACT SAME THING EOEODODISSJJS. LISTEN, I REALLY VIBE WITH BLUE.

“Back before you came into my life, Steven, I wanted every one to feel the pain I felt. I realized I must make up for my awful behavior by bringing joy to others.”

Another thing I’ve appreciated about the writing in this episode: So far, both Blue and Yellow have used the adjective awful to describe their former actions. It’s the self-awareness and the refusal to try to excuse themselves that powerfully shows how much they’ve grown. And it’s their continuous endeavors to keep moving forward, to help the Gems that they’ve hurt, that indicates that they’re willing to constantly keep growing and atoning.

NFOFOFDKSSKSKSK, THESE CLOUDS ARE JUST HER VAPORIZED TEARS HELP.

Sick vape clouds, Blue

I’VE HEARD THE SONG BEFORE, BUT EVERY TIME SHE SINGS, I LOSE MY SHI T

LISA HANNNNIGAAAAAAAN

This is such a pretty line: “Cold palace walls, and endless empty halls, haunted by echoes of laughter.”

BLUE ASCENDING THROUGH THE CLOUDS AUSHAHHSHD

BLUE MAKING HEART CLOUDS FOR SPINEL!!

BLUE CALLING SPINEL N STEVEN HER LITTLE REASONS WHY.

“I’LL NEVER MAKE YOU CRY.” This line is particularly lovely because I think it plays well with Steven’s line to her in “CYM:” “How many times did you make her cry?”

BDJDJDJSJDJ, BLUE LAYING ON HER CLOUD LIKE YELLOW LAID ON THE FLOOR.

The way she sings the last “loving you.” 😭😭😭😭 I’m gonna weep. I love her so fucking much.

“I found happiness. If that's not something you think you deserve, then I suspect this is an issue of self worth. I suggest you go to White for assistance with such matters.” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 And like Yellow did, Blue gets to the heart of her arc cleanly.

Before Steven and before her own emotional reckoning, she didn’t think it was her place to be happy: “I know my purpose isn’t to be happy.” But in learning to love others, Blue has found true, inner happiness, which she literally shares with others. Wow.

And I think there’s something powerful in her distinction between true happiness and self-worth. You can’t find one without espousing the other.

White’s room is so pretty. 🥺

THE FLASHING STROBE LIGJTS DDNJDFJDJDNF.

SPINEL WHITE DIAMOND?!/!:$;8;83&:&:

SHE FUCKING LETS OTHER GEMS CONTROL HE R HELP.

SPINEL MAKING WHITE TAP DANCE FICODODOFODJDNDJSJDJDJJDDJDJ

Steven’s horrified expression omg

“I’m scared I’m gonna hurt people; I guess I already have.” God.

And that’s another thing that this episode has called to mind. Blue, Yellow, and White alike once used their insane powers to hurt other Gems and to hurt themselves, and here, throughout this series, we see Steven discovering that same capacity for destruction and self-destruction. Along with the systematic oppressions they facilitated, a big part of the Diamonds’ modus operandi was that their powers were directly correlated to their mental states and their various inabilities to confront their own selves and effect inner change. The corrective wasn’t necessarily Steven; the corrective was him helping them to do that initial act of introspection and looking inwards. And so, too, will Steven have to do the same by the end of this series. But I presume that his family, all the people and gems who have loved and cared for him, will in effect be his Steven, just as he has always been for them.

“Half a Diamond, half a creature of Earth—in all the universe there's no one else that could know what you’re going through, so maybe it's time you talked to yourself.” This is so viscerally sad. White hits the nail on the head here. Steven’s human friends/family and his gem family and even the Diamonds, who come the closest to matching his own strength, can never fully understand him. It’s the tension that underscores a lot, if not the entire show.

White briefly touches Steven with her nail, and you can viscerally see the trauma on his face; he hasn’t forgotten her act above all, wrenching his gem out, nearly killing him.

“I’m... I’m a Diamond.” Steven, in looking at White Diamond, realizes that she’s a mirror of himself. Holy fucking shit

“I don’t want to be you! I don’t want to be anything like you!” HOLY FUCKING SHIT

“Don’t hurt me! She can’t hurt me! I’m controlling her...” And here, Steven doesn’t light upon the essential thing... in making White punch the wall, nearly knocking a huge rock into him, he’s the one hurting himself.

This show, oh my g o d

“She’s the one who should be afraid.” STEVEN?!!!!????!??!

“No, stop it! I don’t like this!” / “Please, you’re scaring me.” OH MY GO D

HE FUCKING MADE HER SLAM HER GEM AGAINST A PILLAR HOLY HE LL

“What... what was that?” Christine’s delivery here. Holy shit. 😭😭 And both of them are surrounded in the carnage of Steven’s wrath. Holy fucking shit.

This act is fundamentally different than him accidentally shattering Jasper in “Fragments”; this was an intentional attempt to hurt White, to crack her, to break her. Holy fucking shit

Spinel, Blue, and Yellow waiting for Steven outside of White’s door has my heart a little and a lot tender 🥺🥺🥺🥺

SPINEL SINGING I CAN MAKE A CHANGE SO DRAMATICALLY DJDIDJDJDJDJD. (But yeah, lmao, this will absolutely be the conclusion of Steven’s arc at the end of Future.)

“Steven! Let us help you, Steven!” The Diamonds are so concerned (mirroring the Gems back at home, too). 😭😭

He leaves a flip flop behind like Cinderella lmao

“Steven, let us help you!” / “We’re your family!” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

And just as he implored the CGs, he tells the Diamonds not to follow him either.

Steven is completely and utterly alone.

Not by necessity.

But God, by choice.

Okay, this is my new favorite Future episode.

[nightswithkookmin]

I am curious about your take on something. So Taekook probably hate the idea of Taekook, right? If Jk and Jimin are together (as I beleive they are) then the very idea of taekook has to be like sooo weird for everyone, especially when it results in hate directed at Jimin. So why don't Taekook agree to like NEVER LAY HANDS ON ONE ANOTHER in public. I know they shouldnt have to. They like skinship and all. And no one is going cray cray over jinkook or jihope etc. But its an easy fix? Maybe not?

Tradshippers... Haha.

The gag being Tuktukkers say the same thing about Jimin and Jikook all the time- if V is his soulmate and friend, shouldn't he keep his hands off JK? Shouldn't he respect the sanctity of his friends' relationship? Doesn't he care that his actions with JK hurt Tae? That he is wrecking another man's home, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Heard it all before. Not particularly impressed by that level of rudimentary mental adroitness- at all. It all flows from insecurities and or the shipper's dissatisfaction with how these people in reality interact with one another because that often tend to be in disharmony with their shipping fantasies about their OTP.

The shipping community in general is a fantasy bubble. Haven't done much research on its demographics but from my observation, it seems the younger demographic can't seem to detach fantasy from reality while the much 'adult' population'- perhaps, for fear of having their reality warped or their hearts broken, are too engrossed in reality as such tend to approach shipping with quizical glares at best, cynicism, skepticism and what I like to call a false sense of logic- at worst.

Then of course, there are those in between.

But one thing they all seem to have in common is their emotional response to the demystification of their fantasies. Like any fantasy, people tend to lash out at or carry resentment towards anything or anyone that threatens their false sense of safety built around their fantasy.

For Taekookers they tend to lash out at Jimin or even Jokers because they threaten their sense of ship safety. Jokers do the same with JK more so than Tae, but Tae too nevertheless.

Taekook, Jinkook and the other ships Jikooker's are threatened by are viewed as threats and looked upon with disdain and resentment only because they ruin the fantasy of Jikook for them and nothing else.

And if that's not the case, then these people are too invested in someone else's relationship and lack both personal and emotional boundaries- it's their relationship not ours.

You can't sit in your homes, behind the screens and pilot someone else's relationship or point out what is wrong with their relationship and feel strongly about it to the point you start demanding and dictating how they should relate with eachother or their friends- that's entitlement and borderline toxicity which is scary, not gonna lie.

Jikook and Vmin equally ruin the fantasy of Taekook for their shippers. And they look to Jimin as the grinch and killjoy, hence lash out against him without reservation.

In a perfect shipping alternate universe, Taekook or Jikook would be couples within a group where it's glaringly clear that they are couples and as such no other ship would compete or interact with them in a way that raises questions about the general perception of them as a couple unit within the group or threaten their status as such. But this is reality. Not fantasy. And it just doesn't work that way.

Most of these conversational topics you raise are about how people want their OTP to behave rather than how their OTP actually behave towards one another.

It's especially disconcerting when their disapproval of an interaction stems from them 'wrongly' labeling or interpreting that interaction as 'intimate' and or romantic and proceed to go on an emotionally charged rant on behalf of their OTP calling for them to instill boundaries.

Maybe Tae is not instilling boundaries for JK with Jimin because he doesn't have the right to? Because he is not in a relationship with either Kook or Jimin?

Maybe Jimin is not telling Tae and Kook to keep the skinship off cameras because he is not bothered by the 'hate he receives' because of their interactions?

Tae kook have been interacting on our screens for 7 good years. You think if Jimin found their interactions as problematic or disrespectful to his relationship with Kook that he wouldn't have nipped that in the bud?

Have you not seen him react a countless time to when he is uncomfortable with an interaction that crosses his limits or boundaries? It should tell you he doesn't have a problem with Tae Kook at all.

He only has a problem when an interaction crosses the line. Same with JK. And if due to his ideosyncracy he can't stomach an interaction, he averts his eyes. I don't think he would want them to stop interacting all together. If he did that would be problematic because they are all friends and he doesn't own Kook or vice versa.

Also the statement that Tae Kook need to keep their skinship off camera because Jimin receives a lot of hate because of it is a non sequitur. Tae kook is not the reason Jimin recieves a lot of hate in the fandom. Jikook is.

Taekook doesn't hurt Jimin, Jikook does. People lash out at Jimin because of his interactions with JK not because of JK's interaction with with Tae.

So the solution would not be for Tae and Kook to keep their skinship off camera, it would be for JK and Jimin to not interact on camera at all. I mean if we are being honest.

And all those who claim JK isn't protecting Jimin because his interactions with Tae is what fuels the passions of Tuktukkers towards Jimin, think again...

JK puts up boundaries with Tae as it is. Out of all BTS, they are the two who have openly admitted to having 'drifted apart' over the years- I wonder why. When Tae spoke about wanting JK to treat him as a friend rather than hyung, JK told him he couldn't do that because that would have led to a lot of fights between them. What other boundaries do y'all expect him to put up again?

Dude rarely nurtures his relationship outside Jimin within the group- responding to texts a whole year later and what not.

And even with this, Jimin recieves a lot of backlash regardless. I think we need to stop justifying hate. There is no justification for hate. No excuse is excuse enough for the traumatization of another human being.

JK equally gets dragged for filth in these shipping streets. Tuktukkers hate him as much as they hate Jimin because of his interactions with Jimin. Tae stans hate him. Jimin stans hate him. He is neither here nor there. He got called a pig, sissy, and all kinds of derogatory names when he pulled away at KBS when Tae wanted to hold his hands.

Jokers, PJM jokers drag him for filth in their gcs and shit and equally hates on him because to him he doesn't love Jimin enough or at all. Especially, when he doesn't interact with JM in a way that pleases them.

The problem is Jikook. Both Jimin and JK will have their peace of mind if they didn't interact at all and kept their relationship private. The best way for JK to protect his boyfriend from all this bullshit is to keep a safe distance from him and act like he doesn't know him or never met him- because that is how Kpop idols usually protect their relationships.

And yet, and YET, when he does just that y'all jump on his neck on every turn, screaming Jk hates Jimin and doesn't love him. I gotta ask-

WHAT Y'ALL WANT FROM JK?!

People just like to ruin beautiful things, don't they?

And while we are at it, let me address this Ask I got a few days ago claiming if JK loves Jimin then it doesn't make sense for him to want to act so loud with Jimin or express his feelings for him in a way that out's their relationship because that can hurt Jimin and bring him a lot of hate...

You think Jimin openly loving on JK doesn't bring JK a lot of hate too? Damn. It's the double standards for me. Lmho.

Listen, JM has a duty to protect JK just as much as JK has a duty to protect JM. By your logic, if Jimin loves Jk then he equally needs to stop doting on him in public because his love causes JK as much pain as JK's love causes Jimin- but Jimin can't stay away now can he?

Jimin had to ask JK permission to express himself the way that he does with him- on their Log when he asked JK if he was ok with him saying he loved him on camera. Jk had a need to keep their relationship private, Jimin had a need to keep it open and clearly didn't want to hide their relationship. But they have since outgrown their old selves. Their wants and their needs have changed- if you pay attention to JK's lyrics in recent times.

Their dynamics keep flipping. And they are constantly negotiating their needs, from my perspective anyway- let them do them. Y'all didn't seem to have a problem when in their earlier dynamics Jimin was the one pushing for them to be open with their relationship. JK eventually gave up his need to hide their relationship didn't he? And overtime he became comfortable expressing affection for Jimin openly.

Yet, suddenly when JK wants the same thing in their relationship y'all claim he is being unreasonable and unfair towards Jimin? Huh?

Granted, he over does it sometimes. Yes. Lol.

But you can't hold Jikook to different standards. They are both human and their feelings for eachother are equally valid. Their needs from eachother are valid in the same weight.

If Jimin gets to show the whole world just how much he loves JK and because of that many people are convinced Jimin loves JK more than JK loves him- even if half of the time he is using fanservice as a cover or even his persona as a cover, then why can't JK equally use his art or whatever means he prefers as a cover to show the world just how much he loves Jimin?

...Even if half of the time he is borderline outing him and getting him in trouble? Lol. That's just the love if you ask me. Hehehe.

Chilee JK, you make it hard to defend you sometimes! Lol. Just don't out your man. How hard is that!😭🤭

Seriously though, you don't think he wants people to see he loves Jimin too? Damn, y'all be reading Jimin wrong. Because Jimin loves it when JK shows the world he loves him... Did you see his face after Rosebowl? Why do you think JK keeps cutting it close? Dude is gunning for the points. Lmho. Jikook speak eachother's love language. Let that sink in.

If JK is pushing against the glass closet it's because he is convinced that that is something Jimin wants but is afraid to go after and he is the fearless one among the two. Y'all just be fighting the wrong battles. Lmho.

Jikook is asserting themselves against eachother. They are pushing eachother's boundaries and I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing.

You can't claim JK doesn't love Jimin and in the same breath condemn and disapprove of the ways he expresses himself and his love for Jimin- I think you need to free JK now!

Between Tuktukkers and certain Jokers, I don't know who is worse- Nevermind, I'm not a fan tradshippers in general.

JK is there to please his man not shippers and the way I see it Jimin looks like a satisfied customer to me.

If you are dissatisfied with Jikook, there are a countless other ships in BTS. Get on one. See how that goes. Lol.

Where were we, Anon?

Oh right, Tae Kook. Lol.

I think we need to learn to hold the right people accountable for their actions. The problem is not Tae Kook, or Jikook or any other ship. The problem is with the toxic shippers who use them as an excuse to perpetuate unfathomable hurt towards the boys and towards others.

I think Tuktukkers need to develop a better attitude towards Jikook. Jikooker's need to do the same about Tae Kook or Jin Kook.

Personally, I would rather Jikook kept their relationship private but I also understand their need to take advantage of the glass closet- secrets are hard to hide. They get heavy before they get easy.

And Jimin loves to be loved. He loves when you show him off. It's part of his love language. You can't date him and Keep him a secret- and still we question why JK doesn't want to hide him.

If y'all don't want to ship Jikook that's fine. I'll ship them myself.😒

Whatever decisions they are making, I support it wholeheartedly. I support them with every fiber of my being.

LONG LIVE JIKOOK. JIKOOK IS REAL.

Signed,

GOLDY

[until-theend-oftheline]

Two Hearts as One

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader 

Warnings: Explicit Sex, language, Dorks in love.

Squares Filled: Movie Night for @marvelfluffbingo​

Word Count: 2800ish

A/N: This is part of my LLL universe - it takes place in December 2011 and Y/N and Seb just started dating. It can also be read as a one-shot just as always.  

Betaed by: @ifyougetkilled-walk-it-off​ - thank you, sis

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

You and Sebastian had gone out several times since the two of you had finally admitted how you felt. You had been ice skating, to a Christmas market, he had asked you over to help him decorate his place, and last Friday he had taken you to see a movie. This was your first movie night at your place since he had kissed you at his place two weeks ago. 

You were nervous as you looked in the mirror. You were wearing a deep blue lace bra with matching panties. You had showered using your favorite shower gel, cream, and shampoo. You had shaved every inch of your body even if you knew deep down it wouldn’t matter to Sebastian. You had curled your hair, letting it hang loose down the silk robe you were currently trying to decide if you wanted to tie or not. 

After tying and untying it a few times you decided it was best to have it closed. You didn’t want to overwhelm him or seem pushy. Or have one of your neighbors spot you in next to nothing when you opened the door for him for that matter. 

Your heart skipped a beat as your door phone rang and you gave yourself one last look in the mirror. The light make-up you were wearing framed your face perfectly and brought out your eyes. Your skin felt smooth and you felt amazing about yourself. You pictured the way Sebastian would look at you when he saw you and your smile widened as your confidence grew. 

You rushed barefoot down the stairs, clicking the mic on the door phone, greeting him. 

“Come on up, Seba,” you spoke, not waiting for him to say anything and smiled when he teased you for it. 

“What if you just let in a burglar, darlin’. Might wanna wait for a guy to say hello,” Sebastian’s voice sounded through the speakers. 

“Well, I haven’t opened the second door yet, so leave him out there would ya,” you giggled, causing Sebastian to laugh as you heard the door close behind him and you knew he was on his way up. 

Normally, you would have opened the door, before Sebastian had a chance to knock, but given what you were wearing, or weren’t wearing, today you waited. 

“It’s just me, Y/N/N. Burglar is sulking on the sidewalk, you can open the door,” Sebastian played as he knocked your front door. 

You took a deep breath, running your hands down your robe before opening the door, showing yourself to him. 

Sebastian’s mouth dried up when he saw you. He sure as hell hadn’t expected the sight that met him. You were absolutely breathtaking. You always were of course, but the amount of skin you were showing almost gave him a heart attack. 

“Fuck,” Sebastian muttered, still standing frozen outside the door. 

His eyes traveled your body before meeting yours, and you couldn’t help but giggle. The way he looked at you made your confidence soar, as you reached out grabbing his hand and pulling him inside. 

“Come on in. I can’t keep the door open all day dressed like this,” you laughed, which seemed to unfreeze your boyfriend. 

The door hadn't even closed behind the two of you before his hands were on you. He gripped your hips, pulling you into him and his lips crashed against yours. He kissed you like you were oxygen and he was a man suffocating. 

You were heaving for breath when Sebastian finally broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours. He looked deeply into your eyes, as his hands gave your hips a small squeeze. 

“I take it you’re not in the mood for a movie then?” Sebastian tried to tease, as he swallowed thickly. 

You reached up running your hands through his hair, smiling when he momentarily closed his eyes enjoying your touch. 

“Maybe later,” you smiled, feeling your heartbeat pick up. Suddenly a wave of doubt crashed down on you. You didn’t usually do this sort of thing. You and Sebastian hadn’t had sex yet. Well, at least not in the past year. Not since the night, you had first met and before he had become your best friend. You had come on strong but the last thing you wanted was to push him into something he wasn’t ready for. 

“I mean, we can watch one now… if you don’t want too….” 

Sebastian smiled when you started rambling. He loved how easily you could switch between this confident sexy woman into a cute rambling mess and back again in a matter of seconds. He loved how you had thought of him getting ready, but all of a sudden was scared you were pushing him to move faster than he wanted. You weren’t. He had wanted this for a long time, so instead of answering, he let his hands slide down to your thighs, lifting you into the air. 

He laughed as you squealed in surprise, guiding your legs to wrap around his waist. He backed you against the wall, kissing you deeply before you could say anything. The dazed look in your eyes, when he pulled back to let you both breathe, made his already hardening cock jump in his pants. He’d never seen a woman as gorgeous as you, and knowing the effect he had on you was absolutely intoxicating. 

“I want you. I want this. Us. So badly,” Sebastian confessed, groaning as your fingers dug into his shoulders with your words. 

“Take me upstairs, Seba,” you pleaded, wanting, needing his hands all over you. You wanted to feel him and for him to feel you. You never loved anyone as deeply and truly as you loved Sebastian and you couldn’t stop yourself from kissing him again and again as he walked you up the stairs. 

“Careful. Can’t see,” Sebastian laughed as he stumbled against the wall as he reached the top of the stairs. You laughed with him clinging to him, as you buried your face against his neck. 

“Don’t fall on me again,” you teased, playfully biting his neck as he walked through the door to your bedroom. You screamed in surprise as Sebastian suddenly tossed you onto the bed, causing you to bounce a few times on the mattress as he laughed at you.  

“Seb!” you scolded trying to keep the smile off your face, but you were sure you failed. It was very hard not to smile when a man that handsome was looking down at you as if you were his entire world. And was ridding himself of his jacket and shirts at the same time. 

“That’s what you get for being a smartass,” Sebastian winked at you, kicking off his shoes before crawling onto the bed, hovering over you with a smirk on his face. 

You ran your hands down his chest, around his sides, and up his back, attempting to draw him closer to you. Sebastian did as you silently begged, leaning down to kiss you. You stayed like that for ages. Just kissing and letting your hands wander without rushing for more. You could barely breathe from how good he made you feel a simple touch and his kiss. You knew he was good, but this was different. This wasn’t just about sex. It was about deepening your connection with him. It was to show him how deeply you loved him and have him show you the same in return.  

After almost half an hour making out with you Sebastian couldn’t wait any longer. He wanted to take his time; to make you feel special and to show you how much he loved you. He slowly untied your robe, letting his hands gently caress your skin as he pulled back looking deeply into your eyes. 

“I love you, Y/N/N,” Sebastian whispered, before ducking down to kiss your neck, down the valley of your breasts, gently squeezing and them as he moved his lips down your stomach. 

“Seba…” you gasped when he pressed a kiss against your panties, gently hooking his fingers into the waistband. He looked up at you with a smirk on his face, but you knew he was also asking for permission. Just like you hadn’t wanted to push him, he was giving you an out. Just like he had over and over again that night so long ago. Sebastian was a good man and you knew without a shadow of a doubt one word would always make him stop no matter what. 

“Please,” you begged. “Seba, I need you.”

That was all the permission he needed and Sebastian slowly slid the panties down your legs. He shoved them into his back pocket with a wicked grin on his face, causing you to laugh and give his shoulder a push with your barefoot. 

“Perv,” you teased, giggling as he gripped your ankle holding your foot against him as he began kissing his way down your leg. 

“Only for you,” he winked, looking up at you as he reached his goal. His hot breath fanned over your cunt.

You gasped as he flattened his tongue running it over your lips. The knot in your stomach tightened as he continued his ministrations eating you out like a man starving, never once taking his eyes off you. 

The look in his eyes, dark with lust but so filled with emotions, love and adoration only added to your high. No man had ever looked at you like that and most certainly not when buried between your legs. 

Sebastian’s jeans felt uncomfortably tight as he watched you writhe and gasp beneath him. He didn’t care though. This wasn’t about him. It was about you. He wanted nothing more than to make you feel good; amazing. 

You screamed his name in ecstasy, trashing and gripping his hair as he pushed first one, then two fingers inside you, working your clit with his tongue. Your pleasure built and built until you couldn’t take it any longer. Your orgasm ripped through your body and white light blinded your vision. 

Sebastian kept his fingers inside you gently working you through your high as he kissed his way back up your body until he reached your lips. You moaned softly against his kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck pulling him impossibly closer. 

Your body ached for him even harder than ever as you came down from your high. You needed to feel him. You ran your hands around his shoulders, down his chest, smiling as you felt his abs flex beneath your touch. 

“Off,” you mumbled against his lips as your hands started pulling at his belt, causing Sebastian to pull back with a laugh. 

“Still bossy huh?” Sebastian teased you as he gently removed his fingers from your cunt. You groaned half from the sudden emptiness you were feeling and half from his teasing. 

Sebastian only smiled, looking down at you. You were beautiful lying there on the bed in your bra, your robe half off and your hair a mess, glowing from your recent orgasm and eyes hungry for more as you watched him. 

He quickly undid his pants pushing them off along with his boxers and shorts. His cock jumped as you sat up reaching behind you, undoing your bra before tossing it onto the floor to join the rest of your clothes along with your robe. 

“Sweetheart...” Sebastian’s voice was hoarse as he watched you move to sit on the edge of the bed. You moved to sit directly in front of him on your knees.

You just smiled up at him, running your hands up his thighs as you leaning in kissing his cock. It proudly jumped under your lips and you grinned up at him as you gently took him into your hand. 

“Honey you don’t have too….” Sebastian started, closing his eyes from pleasure as you ran your tongue from the root to the tip of his cock before gently pulling back his foreskin. 

“I want, too. Let me?” You asked, looking up into his eyes and Sebastian gently cupped your face. 

He ran his thumb over your lips before he nodded and you smiled. You kept looking up at him as you flattened your tongue, running it up his cock a few times before taking him into your mouth. You sucked, causing Sebastian to gasp and his muscles to flex, struggling to keep still. 

The loving way you looked up at him along with the pleasure you brought him as you alternated between slowly bobbing your head up and down and sucking. It wasn’t until you released his cock with a wet pop, running your tongue over the slit his legs buckled and he almost blew his load right then and there. 

“Fuck! Jeez Y/N. You can’t do that if you don’t want to have to wash your hair,” Sebastian groaned, causing you to laugh. 

You lifted yourself up onto your knees. You wrapped your arms around his neck. 

“Charming, Seba,” you giggled as he groaned and pulled you tightly against him. 

The feeling of your soft skin and curves against his, did nothing to slow down the beat of his heart but he also didn’t care. He needed you badly. He pulled you into a bruising kiss, before slowly lowering you back onto the bed, following you down. He kept kissing you, loving the feel over your hands, running over his body anywhere you could reach, but he couldn’t hang on much longer. He needed to be inside you. 

“Y/N…” Sebastian gasped resting his forehead against hers, afraid that if he moved as much as an inch he would blow. 

“It’s okay. I’m on the pill and I’m safe. Are you?” you asked so sweetly as if you had no idea what your words were doing to him. As if you had no idea what your touch, your soft body beneath him and the way you looked at him was doing to him. 

“Yeah… I’m safe. Are you sure, darlin’?” Sebastian asked, gasping as you reached for him. He quickly reached for your wrist to stop you, kissing you. 

“Sorry… Let me… if you touch me I might…,” Sebastian started to explain, pulling a face at you when you started to giggle. You had no idea you had affected him that strongly and as much as you wanted to tease him about it, it also gave you a strange rush. This gorgeous, amazing sweet man, was so affected by you that he was afraid he was going to come too soon if you touched him again. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck, running your fingers through his hair before kissing him again. 

“Make love to me Seba,” you asked, smiling as he leaned down to kiss you again. 

You gasped against his lips as he slowly sank into you. You stayed like that, kissing and gently caressing each other as you gave each other the time you needed to adjust. After a few minutes, Sebastian slowly began to move, rolling his hips against yours, never pulling out more than halfway before sinking back into you. You gasped against each other’s lips, no longer really kissing but breathing each other’s air as you looked deeply into his eyes. 

You never felt more connected, more loved than you did at that moment. When you came apart in his arms, Sebastian was mere seconds behind. His arms buckled and his weight crushed you, but you didn’t mind. His weight was as comforting as the feeling of his warm skin radiating against your own. 

It took a few minutes before he moved, but when he did it was to kiss your neck, your cheek, and your lips, causing you to giggle, before gasping as he gently pulled out. Sebastian rolled onto his back, pulling you with him into his arms and you more than willingly snuggled up to him. 

“Wow,” Sebastian breath, making you laugh and look up at him with a roll of your eyes. 

“Wow? Don’t be such a guy,” you teased, squealing when Sebastian pinched you butt, before shutting you up with a kiss. 

“I love you, Y/N,” he spoke softly, and your heart skipped a beat. 

“I love you too, Seba,” you snuggled up to him again resting your head over his heart, smiling as you felt it beat in the same rhythm as your own. 

“So… Movie Night naked in bed and pizza delivery?” Sebastian suggested, giving you a small squeeze as you laughed. 

“Only if you get the door,” you grinned looking up at him and Sebastian laughed. 

“Deal! I might have to borrow a sheet though.”

Reblogs spread my work and make me happy. Got a favorite part/line? Did something touch you? Do you relate in some way? Please tell me and make my day.  

Sebastian Stan Tag Team

@feelmyroarrrr​ @sleepretreat​ @roxyspearing​ @jewels2876​  @hellaqueerangelofthelord​ @danijimenezv​ @rumoured-whispers​ @becs-bunker​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @blacktithe7​ @grace-for-sale​ @averyrogers83​ @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​ @sorenmarie87​ @docharleythegeekqueen​ @erosbellarke​ @the-wayward-robot​ @super100012​ @myfanficlibrarium​ @winchesters-favorite-girl​ @awkwardfangirl2014​ @igotkatiepowers​ @dottirose​ @deathofmissjackson​ @miraclesoflove​ @badassbaker​

[bbelphie]

astra, i feel like we don’t know you at all!! say, can you tell us who is your most favorite character in obey me, and who is the least? love you ❤️❤️❤️❤️

ok so THIS was difficult snxjms and as you asked afterwards, i also added why i feel this way way about them! love u 💖 sorry this turned out long tho

my list:

BELPHEGOR — i mean, it’s kinda obvious, right? (cough bbelphie is the name of the blog) ever since the start of the game, i wandered about who the fuck that resting bitch face boy was. like, honestly curious. when we met him at the attic, the first thing i thought about belphie was how manipulative he was, and although i’d have hated him, his situation and the game’s universe in general made me reconsider my choice. i found out that he was so much more complex than what i first thought of him. and i LOVE characters like that. belphegor had his reasons, his own past and way of seeing things and i just wanted to know him better, not just because i was curious, but because i’ve grown to like him, in a way. it wasn’t instantaneous, but i kinda saw that coming, you know? i’m not sure if i can explain well how i feel about him (i can’t express my feelings well in any way cof) but belphegor was the character that i was most eager to know about. (ouch i have so many other things to say about him) also he’s a sassy little shit and i love him for that.

MAMMON — the fact mammon was with us since the beginning is a big part of this place (but not the only one). and yeaaah, i know he was a little bitch about looking after mc and i was also blinded by my prejudice against personality based characters like him (narcissist, arrogant, show off) but then we get to know him better. mammon has so much more sides of his personality than that. (besides being a tsun tsun) so by that scene when we were competing against levi and lucifer saved us because mammon couldn’t make it in time, mammon was like “next time I will be the one saving you!!” i was already “YES YOU IDIOT I LOVE YOU TOO” and it was just downhill from there.

SATAN — honestly? he’s my type. the intellectual one, cat lover, fan of mystery and detective books and all that shit made me fall for him, hard. and then i saw his backstory and i fell for him EVEN HARDER. he has sooo much i want to know about! behind the facade he wears constantly in front of everyone there was so much more than the sin he’s avatar of. his arc was one of the lessons i loved the most, without doubt. though i wished the devs had gone deeper into his character, like uhhh i don’t know how to elaborate on this, but i feel we scratched only the surface of who satan really is. (besides that, satan def would be a beast in bed and my hcs about that does’t end)

LEVIATHAN — ahh it was too difficult to choose between him and beel. but i relate to levi quite a lot — animes, self depreciation, manga and all that stuff. he striked me as someone i wouldn’t like so much at the beginning but i’ve grown to love him. that was because of... well, i know envy is the deadly sin he’s avatar of, but man it’s annoying sometimes dnbfxk however! i love him either way. i just think that he should appreciate more things in life instead instead of putting himself down but who i am to talk? i used to be like that and i still am, just not as much. that must be most of the reasons of why i want to be by his side and reassure him that not everything in life is unfair, but can also be a way to make ourselves stronger. taking that emotional shit aside, i love his fanboy side!! i rant a lot about the things i like, especially animes and mangas, and seeing him so enthusiastic about things like that makes me feel like with him, i would act like myself the most.

BEELZEBUB — i love himbo!!! the giant, strong one that looks like he could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll? yes, sign me the fuck in. he’s the sOFTEST i swear to god almost all the scenes that made my heart explode with love was with him. when he asked to hold your hand while sleeping because he’s afraid of having any more nightmares about lilith and belphie and their fall from the celestial realm made my heart go BOOM. i would do ANYTHING for this boy 😭😭 beel was first i warmed up to in the game! i was gonna put him in the fourth place with levi but it would be too long.

LUCIFER — hhh this guys right here. ngl i was intimidated as fuck at first. but then i saw how he was family driven, always putting their safety and well being first and overall just being a loving brother, tho very discretely. and bruh characters like that are my DEATH??? he is so soft for the ones he loves and would do anything in his power to make them be safe and sound, even if it takes some sacrifices. i was touched by his past, how he had to hide so much from his brothers because he felt he should carry his burden alone. i especially love when lucifer tears off that prideful and powerful facade and shows that he’s capable of loving and being vulnerable and just idk man it just hits home im gonna cry

ASMODEUS — baby boy. lusty boy. ntt solmare did him dirty. he deserves SO MUCH MORE!! asmo has so much potential to be a favorite if only they had developed him better. that arc of his when we make a pact with him was lacking, in my opinion. the devs could have gone deeper into his character, showing that his not just a personification of lust, only its avatar. i’m sure there are different sides to his personality, you know? we’ve been seeing hints throughout the story and devilgrams (most of the time they’re very subtle!!) that asmo needs or/and constantly wants to feel loved, wanted, desired and/or admired. that could be a trauma or something of the sort that was created after his fall from the celestial realm. however this theory of mine is not full developed yet so i can’t really tell you guys about it in more detail. i still love him nevertheless!!

others characters:

SOLOMON — he is shady. and powerful. i love that. besides that, i think i may have a thing for white haired characters. but really, i love this guy, don’t know how but i do. there’s a lot i wanna know about him, and i feel he’s hiding or planning something big. and maybe evil. but ngl his interactions with asmo are the best!!

SIMEON — ara ara baby. i’m 100% in love with him. simeon is someone really good to have as a favorite honestly. even if he doesn’t get much screentime, anyone would realize that ever since the beginning he’s a very truthful person, with calming and chill vibes. i don’t know how to explain it well but with all the shit the brothers make mc go through, it wouldn’t be a surprise if you find yourself overwhelmed, and simeon is exactly the kind of person that makes you feel heard and seen; his atmosphere has this effect of making people feel at ease.... cough cough anyways a little bit nsfw but to me he’s either really kinky (without noticing or even knowing anything about kinks) or super innocent. that’s pretty much why i’ve seen this 50/50 aspect appearing constantly with his stans. p.s: not to be lewd but i wanna hold his hand 😳

LUKE — he’s my baby brother. i adopted him.

DIAVOLO — there’s so much of this guy we haven’t seen yet!! i know he’s like a cool dad and all but bruh, he’s the next demon king!! he must be a excelent strategist and is more powerful and intelligent than he lets on. i saw so many theories about diavolo, but my favorite so far is the one where diavolo kinda caused the celestial war indirectly. he’s another character that i feel we’ve only scratched the surface.

BARBATOS — everything about him screams “SUSPICIOUS”, he just hides it better than solomon. ngl i was rly curious about him and his powers and then i discovered he has control over TIME?? that’s too overpower!! but damn, i do love characters with time control powers...(victor from mlqc im looking at you) sometimes he looks like a dead fish. sometimes he looks hot. i don’t know bruh i’m half scared and half aroused by this guy.

that’s pretty much it i think? lmao there’s so much more i wanna say about them but this is all that comes to my mind right now!

[helihi]

The Good, The Bad, and the Dirty: Spop season 5

I’ve stopped screaming, and I took the time to rewatch season 5 with my little brother. So, here are my thoughts:

The Good

Horde Prime - The cult™ : I really dig the aesthetics, that combo of religious fanatics + fascism hit good. The crew did a good job at portraying Horde Prime as the ultimate villain of the show. He was engaging to watch and his ideology was pretty clear. The way they played with the hive mind concept was really fun, and it was Horde Prime’s biggest strength. He was also a very good manipulator, successfully playing with Glimmer and Adora. He was unsuccessful with Catra because she had already hit her lowest point.

Entrapta: honestly, she was the most hilarious character this season. Not only was she engaging to watch and listen to, I felt really connected to her this season. The fight with Mermista hit really good and it hurt, but you could see her trying her best. I love how open she is and how accepting of everyone and everything. I’m glad we got to see so much of her this season.

Scorpia: baby, she only deserves good things in life. When she got mind control, you could see how fucking powerful she is, but luckily for us, we got to see her shine independently before that. Her interactions with Swift Wind, Perfuma, and Double Trouble made her shine. She’s smart, talented, and without an evil bone in her body. I’m happy she can move on from Catra and find love and friendship. (I hope she reconnects with Lonnie, Rogelio and Kyle in the future too)

Mermista: babe, you were always mood. She has been consistently funny, her get ups and plans are so entertaining to watch, but also: her relationship with Sea Hawk is great! They are definitely made for each other. I’m sad she was mine controlled for the other half of the season, but I’m happy we got to see a lot of her before. (Also she burned someone’s ship OMG GANGSTER SUIT)

Sea Hawk: happy to see him back. He was funny as always, and I’m happy he got his moment with Mermista at the end. 

Perfuma: “ADORA, WHAT DO YOU HAVE THERE?” “A TANK” “NO!” Her relationship with Scorpia is so good! I wish we could’ve seen more.

Netossa: I was one of those who was sad to know the 2 canon lesbians of the show were just background characters. I am so incredibly happy to see her shine this season! SHE SAID MY WIFE. She is the queen of the roasts and I stan.

Spinnerella: Dude, I didn’t know you were this powerful what the fuck. Also, your wife is super cute and she draws like Noelle.

Emotional Support Cat: Bro, I love Melog’s design. I think it was a really clever way to have Catra express her feelings and process them out loud for the audience by giving Catra a supernatural cat.

New She-ra design: I see the subtle reference to Bow, Glimmer and Catra in the design. Honestly, Adora looks 100% more badass.

Not Hordak: I really wish he had picked a name from himself. Aside from Entrapta, this might be the other hilarious character of the season. He goes through his individualization process in a healthier way than Hordak and showcases that the clones can be different from Horde Prime and rehabilitated. I wonder how he will feel about Hordak? But we got no epilogue so idk I guess.

Darla: I can’t believe they named the ship, but I love it.

The Best Friends Squad: I swear to god, when Bow, then Glimmer and then Catra interrupted Adora’s train of thought, I knew we were going to have a great dynamic. The way their characters play of each other is hilarious. Bow, who usually has the only braincell, is cautious and a total dad; Adora is the dumb jock with the heart of gold that gets herself into trouble; Glimmer is the chaotic enchantress with no patience; and finally Catra who’s got all her walls up, but gets shit done. I want a show of them together going on misions and almost dying in the process, thank you.

Catra Redemption: You wanted it, and here you have it! I was cheering for Catra this whole season while proclaiming I’d die for her (which I had only reserved for Scopia previously). Though things may be a little rushed, Catra takes her time to process things, and goes back and forth a couple of times. She deflects, lies, and runs away, but in the end she opens up and rushes back.

In general, the season was packed with content. I was never bored through any episodes and I honestly laughed outloud while watching it alone and later with my brother. There were moments when we paused the episode to discuss what had just happened or to process new information. This makes me feel even more weird about the bland season 2/3 division.

The Bad

Okay so, let me make this clear: I will never attack a ship or anyone who supports it. In this blog we multiship like adults and respect other people’s OTPs.

That being said, while this season was long and packed with content, it also felt rushed when it came to the relationships of the main cast

Glimmer - Catra: The prison episodes had barely any interactions between both of them. I wish they’ve had had more time to talk and to connect. There were Glitra moments that make me feel happy, and my brother was for a moment convinced that they could be canon. They are foils of each other after season 4. The conversation they had, where they realize they had a lot of things in common could’ve been a catalyst for both of them to grow and heal. However, Catra has her change of heart really soon and saves Glimmer, which prevents any deep interactions between them in the future. Aside from the jokes, Catra must be with Adora, and Glimmer must be with Bow, so everything else gets dropped.

Glimmer - Adora: The conflict between them after Angela’s “death” was one of the main plot points of last season. When they reunite again, their issues are solved in a couple of minutes and then brushed off. They really don’t have big interactions after that, which feels completely OOC and empty.

Glimmer - Bow: I wasn’t the only one who felt the sharp turn of their relationship. In previous seasons, it was really platonic, but as soon as they see each other again you know they are going to end up together. The camera zoomed on them, Bow was always holding her protectively, the way they looked at each other change. Since Glimmer is not allowed to have intimate moments with anyone else, it kinda dulls everything up. Don’t get me wrong, I love some best friends to lovers, but in this case it felt rushed for me. If I pinpoint the moment things turned romantic for them, it’s the first time they interact in person this season. It didn’t feel organic (contrast with a ship like Korrasami, where you can point at the moment Asami realized she had feelings for Korra, and then later when Korra’s attitude towards Asami changes after the time skip).

Adora - Catra: Honey, we all knew this was going to be end game, and I love the fact that Catra is dealing with her feelings and Adora acknowledges that. However, after the end of season 3, I’d have expected things to progress a little slower. Catra did put some resistance with the chip scene, but even afterwards, what would’ve been better paced with more episodes, was condensed in a few. Don’t get me wrong. I love that Catra redemption, but I’d have loved a better pacing.

BTW for anyone interested: I ship Glitradora, so any of the 3 ships ending up canon were good for me, and I liked Bow/Glimmer, just preferred them as bffs.

There’s a list of characters that barely show up that could’ve had more screentime:

Huntara: barely appears at all. She’s seen fighting, but there are no references to her or a storyline with her.

Lonnie, Rogelio and Kyle: briefly shown. The gay couple of the century have adopted the baby demon and are now the best dads in the desert. Lonnie is their braincell.

Double Trouble: at least they had a scene and lines, but I feel like they could’ve been more involved after they were discovered by Scopria, especially since they escaped with Sea Hawk and Perfuma.

The Star Siblings: idk man, they were part of a whole episode and then faded into the background. It was a glorified cameo for an episode where Glimmer and Bow fight.

Glimmer’s Aunt: sorry but I was asking “where the hell is she?” until she finally showed up late. She barely had any purpose.

The Dirty

Hey, guys, girls, and nonbinary pals, can we sit down and talk about redemptions?

IDK about you, but just because a show is aimed at kids you shouldn’t “redeem” all the villains. This trend bothers me specially when it touches on abuse or totalitarian leaders.

Shadow Weaver was an abuser until the end. She shouldn’t have had a heroic sacrifice, and her “I’m proud of you” line was bitter for me. I’ve said before I was raised in an abusive household and I don’t think it’s healthy to tell children that you can change your abuser or that you can expect them to change without therapy. I’m glad Shadow Weaver died, but I wish her death wasn’t in any way shape or form considered a “redemption”. A heroic act of sacrifice doesn’t erase all the pain she cause and the years of trauma Catra and Adora have had to endure.

Hordak. HEY HEY ETRAPDAK SHIPPERS DON’T COME FOR ME! I was weirded up by the ship until I realized Etrapta is in her late 20s. I’m happy they found each other but I think it’d be better if Hordak had to redeem himself through a life of service to Etheria. He can't erase the horrible things he has done, but with the help of Entrapta and others, he could give back to the community he ruined. Since we don’t have an epilogue, we just see him reuniting with Entrapta at the end and that’s it.

ALSO SOMEONE GIVE MICAH A HAIR TIE. My man, you are not in a hostile island anymore, go rock a dad bun or a dad ponytail!

--

How do you guys feel about it?

I’m here looking at cute GIFs of Catra and that kiss scene on repeat. I want a Rogelio poster, he was my boy.

[outbreak-by-daybreak-archive]

Safety Blanket chapter 6: Dangerous encounter Leon Kennedy x Fem!reader

chapter 1,chapter 2 chapter 3 chapter 4 chapter 5 

read on a03 

well howdy hey its been awhile (haha most of this was on my old Leon Stan account/old resident side blog rip) but here ya go..

warnings:canon typical violence 

word count:2,555

You and Leon walked down the steps into a small room filled with books and other strange art pieces, Leon did tell you the station used to be an art museum. You looked over at Leon who still did look a little sad.

“Hey are you ok?”, you asked him hoping he wouldn’t just ignore you, he was picking up supplies spread all around the room.

“Yeah I just”, he stood there for a second clenching his fists, “I just wish I could have helped him”, you could hear the sorrow in his voice.

“You can’t save everyone, no matter how much you wish you could, trust me I know that one all too well”, you said looking down and rubbing your shoulder.

“Does it get easier?”, he asked looking at you, you couldn’t describe what the expression on his face was, a sense of uneasiness, hope, it was hard to tell.

“I uhhh”, you stood shocked at his sudden asking of it, you wanted to choose your words carefully. You’d only been through all this in a week, yet you were hardened by it.

“It’s fine you don’t have to answer”, he said, turning away from you.

“No wait!”, your body just moved on its own and you grabbed his hand. You looked up at him seeing his blue eyes again with his blonde hair, you remembered how you were when he found you scared and panicked, when you freaked out about Maria he was there for you, he hadn’t left you behind. You remembered his calming heartbeat, his smile and overall kindness. Unlike everything that had happened to you Leon was pretty much the only good thing about this hellhole, and you weren’t about to leave him in the dust.

“No it doesn't”, you said looking deep into his eyes, he saw how misty your eyes were, “you just get better at hiding your emotions sometimes”

He looked back at you, you had a soft smile on your face, he didn’t notice how pretty you were with your (H/C) hair and your (E/C) eyes, was this an awkward time, yes, yes it was, but it wasn’t just your looks but the way you held yourself, after everything you’ve been through both physically and mentally, you still kept your head up high.

“And I’m not about to lose anyone else”, you said pushing a piece of hair out your face, “and that’s a promise”, you said looking up at him smiling.

“(Y/N) I-”, Leon looked at you shocked at your words, maybe you were stronger than he thought you were. People who knew you well always said you were loyal no matter what, even to the very end.

“Come on let’s get going”, you said excitedly giving Leon a nice bubbly smile, he walked over still shocked by the sudden switch in personality.

You wanted things to go back to normal desperately. You missed the old you, the one that was happy and cheerful no matter what, but that wasn’t going to happen until you got out. So why not try and be happy just for a little while. Leon got hints of what you were truly like. Maybe you did over do it a bit but it was something you were going to have to get used to. Leon smiled at you and followed you towards the doorway that led to an elevator. You two shuffled inside of it.

Leon took a deep breath and pulled out his gun, motioning you to do the same thing, “we don’t know what’s down there”. You nodded at him pulling out your shotgun. Leon then pressed the button and the doors shut and down you two went.

The door opened and Leon told you to wait as he cautiously stepped outside. He looked around for a moment before signaling you to follow him.

You stepped out and were surprised and confused to where you were, obviously underground but something about it was strange. You followed Leon down a few stairs until you got to a place that looked like a boiler room. That’s when you heard someone or something walking around. You quickly held onto Leon’s arm, anxious at the sound.

“What the hell was that?”, you whispered

“I don’t know, stay close”, he said towards you and you nodded back. You followed him further inside, still very confused at where you were at. You followed Leon until you two were blocked by a locker. You stepped back and allowed Leon to see if he can push it out of the way. Leon was able to move it out of the way, which surprised you slightly but something surprised both of you.

A man, no monster, you couldn’t tell, jumped from the ceiling startling both you and Leon. Leon just stood there shocked however as you shrieked out of fear. You both just stood there for a moment before it slammed and grabbed Leon while it pushed you to the ground. You were dazed for a second before realizing Leon was being slammed against the floor over and over again. You quickly stumbled to your feet. About to ready your shotgun when the monster broke through the floor causing both it and Leon to fall through.

“Leon!”, you quickly yelled about to jump down when a quick jolt of pain from your ankle caused you to fall backwards. You looked down to see Leon trying to evade the monster as it chased him. Leon tried shooting at it but realized it wasn’t doing much. You wanted to jump down and help but that fall might definitely hurt your ankle if you weren’t careful. You knew you had to help Leon but how was going to be tricky, you didn’t have a lot of time. You noticed it’s eye on its arm.

“Leon, Shoot the eye on its arm”, you screamed at him still trying to find a way down there. You kept walking towards the hole that the monster left but immediately turned back around. You were basically pacing. You heard Leon groan in pain for a second. Your face went pale and your heart raced. You quickly looked back at the hole.

“This is stupid and it’s gonna hurt”, you said to yourself preparing to jump down, last time it was a bigger drop so maybe it wouldn’t be as bad. You took a deep breath and jumped down trying your best to land on your left ankle first opposed to the right one. You were sort of sort of successful but the force that went on your right ankle was still enough to cause a quick bit of pain from it, you flinched for a moment before getting up to find Leon. You quickly found him and noticed he was cornered by the monster.

“Hey you!”, you shouted at it, and in which it immediately turned around to face you. Leon looked at you and panicked at whatever you were about to do. You just stood there as it walked over to you slowly. Your breath hitched for a moment, as you hoped maybe Leon could get a good shot on it.

You were about to grab your shotgun when it suddenly grabbed you by the head lifting you up. Panic spread throughout your body, the monster proceeding to crush your skull. You screamed out in pain trying to reach for the shotgun but were unable to. You felt it grip your head tighter and tighter, your breathing becoming very ragged and shallow. You started screaming even louder tears were streaming down your face. Your face is turning red. You wiggled around trying to get out of its grasp causing the syringe in your pocket to fall to the ground.

It felt like forever as you just were in the air with your skull being crushed. You suddenly fell to the ground, very hard. You grabbed your head and curled yourself into a ball. It felt like your head was going to explode and your body felt like a noodle. You could barely move. You saw the syringe in front of you and slowly grabbed it, putting it back in your pocket. You heard many gunshots and curses from Leon.

You laid down for a while, breathing in and out trying to regain your composure. You looked over to where Leon was and saw the monster start stumbling backwards and falling into the abyss. You tried getting up but quickly fell back down.

“Hey take it easy”, he said to you, “are you ok?”, he looked at you worriedly. You tried to smile at him but ended up crashing into him. You fell right into his lips, causing Leon to take a step back. It was a very awkward kiss. Leon forgot that physics still exists and watched you headbutt him.

Well one thing Leon learned is that you had a very durable skull. He placed your head back against the railing so your head could be supported. Leon went out to look for more supplies while you dozed off and unconsciously remembered something.

You looked at the other kids playing on the playground. Laughing and screaming just having a very fun time. You wished you could do the same. You were shy, a little too shy, it had been about a month since you moved to a new school and were having no luck finding any friends. Most of the other kids ignored you when you tried talking to them. You just sat at the swing set alone, sadly swinging by yourself.

“Hey are you ok?” you jumped up startled at the voice, you looked over to see a girl with black hair and green eyes.

“Umm I uh”, you didn’t know what to say or who this girl was, she looked about a year older than you.

“Well I’m Maria, Maria Cortez”, she said at you with a smile, “and this is Frank”, she then pointed at a boy behind her and he shyly smiled at you.

“Hi”, he said with a shy wave

“What’s your name?”, Maria asked looking at you”

“(Y/N)”, you said very quietly.

“Well it’s nice to meet you..hmmm how about we play tag together...all three of us”

You then realized she was talking to you as well and awkwardly pointed at yourself to confirm she was talking to you.

“Yep, how would you like to be friends with us?”, she asked you with a smile, you immediately jumped up excitedly and joined them walking towards the playground. That was the day you met Maria, your childhood best friend and her friend Frank.

“(Y/N), hey can you hear me?”, your eyes fluttered open when you heard Leon’s voice. Your head still hurt like hell but besides that you were pretty ok.

“Yeah”, you groaned out, “my head still hurts like hell though”, you said bringing a hand to your forehead.

“Please don’t do that ever again”, he said and you quickly noticed the blush on his face.

“What are you blushing for?”, you asked more grumpily than you meant it to be.

“It’s just uhh you uhh”, he said awkwardly pointing at his lips.

“I have a cut?”, you questioned very naively tilting your head to the side slightly.

“No”, Leon gulped out, still pointing at his lips, he then started to make kissing noises and you immediately caught on. Leon did this so childishly it made you laugh for a minute then your face turned red.

“W-When”, you stuttered out, “h-how”

“Well you sort of just fell into my lips and it happened, if it makes you feel better you did accidentally headbutt me”

You still were embarrassed about the whole thing but you did laugh after the head butt comment.

“Can you get up?”he asked, offering a hand.

“Yeah”, you said, taking his hand getting up slowly.

“I think someone is watching us”, he said pointing to a ladder. Leon went first to check out the area above

“It’s safe, come on up”, he said as you climbed up the ladder very hastily. Leon helped pull you up. You looked around and noticed you were in a parking garage of sorts. You looked and saw the gate that led outside. Next the gate was a kiosk. Leon looked around to see if any doors were unlocked, sadly all of the doors were locked. You both walked over to the kiosk realizing it needs a key card.

“Damn we need a key card”, Leon said just then you two heard growling, you and Leon slowly turned around. Seeing a zombie dog.

“You gotta be kidding me”, Leon said as the dog came rushing towards you two, Leon quickly shoved you out of the way as you slammed against the floor. The dog then pounced on Leon attacking him. You quickly got up looking at Leon who was now being attacked by the dog, he tried reaching for his gun but was unsuccessful. You were about to grab his gun when a bullet went through the dog's neck.

“Hey”, you heard a woman say, you and Leon both turned towards the voice and saw a shadowy figure.

“Who is that?”, Leon asked her. While you stayed silent

“Stay sharp”, she said, just then the dog tried getting back up but Leon quickly reached for his gun and shot it again.

You instinctively put your hands in the air while Leon sat up and drew his gun.

“Lower it”, she said to Leon before pulling something out of her coat, “FBI”, she then flashed a badge in both of your faces.

Leon quickly put his gun down, “sorry...thank you”, he was cut off by the dog slowly getting up again, the woman shot it, finally killing it this time.

“For the help..”, Leon countunied.

“Surprised you two made it this far”, she said to the both of you, she looked at you, you still had your hands in the air, “you can put your arms down now”

“Sorry”, you said quietly and you quickly put your back at your sides. The woman began to walk away from the two of you. Leon quickly got up weakling towards her.

“FBI, huh, what’s going on here?”, he said to her

“Sorry that information is classified”, she said behind her towards Leon, you caught up to the two of them.

“Where are you going?”, Leon asked the woman. She slowly turned back towards Leon.

“Do yourselves a favor; stop asking questions and get the hell out of here”, she said at him she then walked away.

“Hey where are you going?”, he yelled at her as she went through a door. You grabbed his hand, stopping him for a second. He looked at you confused.

“We don’t know who she is”,you whispered. You didn’t really trust her. Leon just turned back towards where she left. He sighed before walking around the garage seeing if anything was left there. You just followed him. You saw him digging through the trunk of a car. He stopped for a minute.

“(Y/N) can I ask you something?”, you just looked at him curiously.

“Y-yeah”, you gulped, you saw him hesitate for a second. He was trying his best to phrase his words.

‘“Why do you have a syringe in your pocket?”

[thelastspeecher]

I started writing this before I opted to retcon the Avatar AU (Ford is now the presumed Avatar, before Stan is revealed to actually be the Avatar).  But I hadn’t finished writing it before the retcon, which means I was able to sneak said retcon into this ficlet.  So here’s Stan and Ford’s Agni Kai.

(As a note: This AU is a collaborative effort, with @vulpixen, @bluestuffeh, and @nour386 involved in its development.)

——————————————————————————————

              The sun was setting.  Stan, standing by the pond on the McGucket farmstead, watched it slowly sink below the horizon.  Angie walked over to him.

              “You don’t have to do this, Stan,” she said softly.

              “You’re wrong.  I do.”

              “No, you don’t.”

              “Look, you don’t understand,” Stan snapped.  “You’re not Fire Nation.  You don’t know how- how shameful it is to back out of an Agni Kai.  And I’m the one who challenged Ford.  If I backed down now, I’d never be able to live with myself.”

              “Yer that concerned about yer honor, huh?” Angie said, her voice quiet.

              “I dunno if I’d call it ‘honor’, but, yeah, basically.”  Stan straightened his back.  “I’m the Avatar.  I can’t back down from a fight, especially one that I started.”

              “Fine.”  Angie bit off the end of the word tartly.  Stan looked at her.  She looked away.  “Just…” Her voice softened.  “Try not to hurt yourself while yer doin’ this bad idea that’ll prob’ly make things worse, okay?”

              “Don’t worry.  I can take care of myself.”

              “Yeah.”  Angie looked at Stan, a small smile playing around her lips.  “I know.”  She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek.  Stan felt his face flush.  “Pa’s standin’ by ready to heal anyone who needs it.”

              “Or to put out any more fires that damage the property,” Stan mumbled. Angie laughed.

              “If you or Ford damage the property with fire again, you’ll be needin’ healin’ somethin’ fierce, ‘cause Pa ‘ll give ya such a tongue-lashin’ it’ll leave scars.”  Stan chuckled softly.  With one last smile tossed his way, Angie walked over to where her family stood, a safe distance away, ready to watch the Agni Kai.  The gong that Pa McGucket had dug out from somewhere sounded.  Stan took a steadying breath, abandoning the good mood of only a moment ago.

              Time to focus.  

              “Begin,” rumbled Basstian, the McGucket that had been given the task of overseeing the match.  Stan let the fabric draped over his shoulders fall and turned to face Ford.  Ford’s eyes narrowed at him.  They began to walk in a circle, maintaining eye contact.  Ford tripped over a patch of uneven ground. Spotting his opening, Stan rushed forward, tossing a ball of fire directly towards Ford.  Ford stumbled back before finding his footing and standing his ground.

              “Back off,” Ford growled, shooting flames at Stan.  Stan easily dodged the weak attack and shot another ball of fire at Ford.  Ford narrowly avoided the attack.  He steadied his stance.  “What’s wrong with you?” Ford screamed.  Stan took a step back, startled.  “You took away my shot at studying at Ba Sing Se University.  You had to take my destiny, too?”  A wave of fire headed for Stan.  Stan dispersed it quickly, feeling his blood beginning to boil.

              “Your destiny?  It was mine!” Stan roared.  Ford’s hands clenched into fists.  “I got looked over, shoved to the side, burned by my own father!”  A red mist began to cloud Stan’s vision.  “You’re trying to say that you’re the victim here? You absolute-”

              Stan stood over Ford.  He stared down in shock, not remembering how this had happened.  The red mist from before pushed at the edges of his vision again. Ford looked up at him, his eyes roiling with emotions Stan couldn’t recognize.  He thought he saw fear, maybe hatred.

              You know better, a voice whispered in the back of his mind.  It wasn’t his voice.  And it wasn’t one of the McGuckets, either.  Stan swallowed.

              Is this one of my past lives or something?

              Or something, a different voice said cheekily.  Stan swallowed again.  Look.  You don’t need to hurt him to feel better.  You know that.

              Maybe I don’t know that.

              Fine.  If you don’t know that, then feel free to make a decision that’ll haunt you for the rest of your life, the first voice said.  Stan’s mouth went dry.

              You’ll figure it out, said the second voice.  Good luck, kid.

              “Well?” Ford demanded, still on the ground.  Stan grit his teeth and shot a single bolt of fire at the ground next to Ford, completely missing his brother.  Ford’s jaw dropped.

              “I remember how it felt to get burned by Pops,” Stan said quietly.  He held out a hand, intending on helping Ford to his feet.  “I don’t want my twin brother to have to go through it, too.  We’re on the rocks now, but we were best friends once.”

              “The key word there is ‘once’,” Ford spat, slapping away Stan’s hand.  He got to his feet and brushed off his clothes. “We aren’t now.  Honestly, I don’t know if the ‘brother’ part applies anymore, either.”  Ford stormed away.

              “Stanford!” Fiddleford shouted, chasing after Ford.  Stan sat heavily on the ground.  Tears pricked the corners of his eyes.

              “I’m impressed,” a gentle voice said.

              “I’m not in the mood, Mearl,” Stan choked out.  Pa McGucket took a seat next to him.  “I don’t need your wisdom or whatever, okay?”

              “I fully expected to have to heal someone.”  Mearl smiled at him.  The warmth in his eyes had been passed down to all his children.  “I’m proud of you fer holdin’ back, son.  That took serious self-control, given yer history.”

              “I almost didn’t,” Stan muttered, pulling his legs to his chest.

              “Pardon?”

              “I- I heard this voice-”

              “You mean yer conscience?”

              “No.”  Stan looked away.  “I think it was one of my past lives.”

              “What?” Mearl squawked.

              “Maybe- maybe two of ‘em.”

              “Two- you contacted two of yer past lives?”

              “Not on purpose,” Stan mumbled.

              “Well, I figured that.”

              “The first time I manage to contact my past lives, and it’s on accident, all ‘cause they were telling me not to hurt my own brother.”  A silence fell.  “It didn’t matter anyways.  Ford still hates me.”  Mearl put a hand on Stan’s shoulder.

              “Give him time.”

              “No.”

              “…What?” Mearl asked, staring at him.  Stan rubbed away the tears threatening to fall.

              “I’m not gonna bother with that.  With giving Ford time to stop hating me.”  Stan clenched his hands into fists.  “He’s never gonna stop.  I might as well hate him right back.”

              “Stanley, hate won’t make you feel better.  It’ll only make ya feel worse.”

              “I don’t care!” Stan shouted.  He got to his feet.  “I don’t care about that, and I don’t care about Ford.  He-”  Stan choked up.  The words he was about to say, the feelings he was about to spill, faded at Pa McGucket’s disappointed and concerned expression.  “I don’t have to tell you my reasons,” he finally managed.  Pa McGucket stood with a sigh.

              “No, you don’t.  But it might behoove ya to do that,” Pa McGucket said softly.  Stan looked away.  “Or tell someone.  Yer the Avatar, son.  Hate is poison in reg’lar folks.  In someone like you?  It’ll eat ya up like an acid.”

              “Whatever,” Stan mumbled.  Pa McGucket sighed again.

              “I’ll send someone out when dinner’s ready,” he said.  Stan grunted in response.  Pa McGucket walked away.  Stan looked over at the horizon, his heart sinking just like the sun.  

              The Agni Kai just made things worse, didn’t it?  Damn McGuckets.  They’re always right.

[har-rison-s]

ask me why

IT: CHAPTER TWO SPOILERS!

request: I love your stan fics!! could you possibly write a sad, angsty one where the reader and stan were childhood sweethearts and they move away and forget each other because of the magic of derry and then when she comes back she’s heartbroken over his death. maybe the scene where they are in the neibolt with the spider-stan(😭😭) and she freaks out and has like a panic attack because she realises he’s not there to help her anymore? idk if that makes sense? thank you either way❤️keep the stan coming!!

A/N: Oh, my goodness. I am the reader and the writer in this one, my feelings are one with her on this one. Oh, god... I'm heartbroken. Also school is tomorrow and I hate gooooiiinnnng but I gotta. Anyways, hope you like this and that it's what you're looking for! Happy reading!

warnings: death, grief, panic attack, descriptions of blood and suicide. Take tissues cause this is very emotional, trust me. Get ready.

IT masterlist

main masterlist

heaven masterlist

gif credit goes to owner, which isn't me!

“The bathtub.” Beverly says into the phone before Patty can. Beverly realises that what she saw twenty seven years ago had happened. What a tragedy. She thinks of how Patty feels and then glances over at Y/N, who waits for Bev to end the call and tell everyone what Patty said. How ever will she tell her? It'll break her heart, it will break the girl herself. “Patty, I'm so sorry, honey. You can call anytime, alright?”

“I'm sorry, I have to go.” Patty tells Beverly and hangs up. Beverly puts her phone in her pocket and turns to her friends. All their faces awaiting, impatient and nervous of what she might say. Is it true what the fortune cookies told them or is IT playing tricks on them? 

“Stanley's gone. In--In the bathtub. There's blood everywhere, Patty said.” Beverly says, but she's looking at Y/N while she's talking. Her face falls. Her eyes empty in a second, looking hollow and abundant. Everyone gasps and mutters words of shock and disbelief. In her ears, everything fades out and she can only hear his voice. Stanley.

“Let's go swimming.” He turns to her with the biggest smile. She tilts her head to one side. “I won't scare you, I promise.” Stan raises his arms up in mock defense. She sighs.

“Okay, fine.” Y/N agrees and raises to her feet. The pair lock hands, taking steps towards the lake, skipping here and there. They're both smiling at each other. Y/N leans towads Stanley's shoulder with her head, resting it there and humming. 

He didn't scare her in the water for the first time. He usually tells her there's something big underwater and when she looks under to see if there is indeed something, Stan would grab her thighs and she'd scream. No more of that, he said to himself after Y/N told him she's starting to get scared of the water.

She feels her heart being crunched up by someone's hand. Fate, it could be. But it's IT. IT is responsible for this. For all of this. 

Her lungs collapse, too. Y/N feels like she can't take breaths anymore, like she never will. Feels like her lungs have closed down, stopped working. Like they're filled with water or something even heavier. Like there's never going to be air in her lungs, like they're filled to the brim. Never possible of saving.

She opens her mouth to try and breathe, but she's hiccuping, coughing almost. 

Stanley. Stanley Uris. Her Stanley. 

The most beautiful boy she's ever layed her eyes on in her whole life. Anyone she saw as a person of potential interest in her so-far life was lacking something, she realises now. One thing. They weren't him.

His radiant smile that made her smile when she didn't feel like ever smiling again, when she had forgot how to. Lightened up the room and shone like the sun. Made her feel like there was nothing bad in the world. 

His voice. The boy could sing, but only she knew that. He never sang in front of anyone else, none of his friends. Only her. And she loved it.

He thought he was bad at singing but God, did he sound like an angel. He was very insecure about it, that's all.

“Sing what you want to. I wanna hear it, whatever the song!” She beamed, resting her head in her hands, her elbows on Stanley's desk surface. Stanley sighs, sitting in a chair not so far from her and his desk. He looks down, lip bitten, deep in choosing the song he could sing. 

“Okay, okay,” he says, lifting his head and breathing deeply in and out, preparing himself, “but don't laugh.” Stan points a finger at Y/N. She shakes her head.

“I would never, baby.” She says. “Go ahead.”

Stan takes a breath in and out and, after a few more seconds, starts finally singing. “I love you, whoo-hoo-whoo-hoo, cause you tell me things I want to know,” He sings. He doesn't look Y/N in the eyes as he sings, he focuses on one of the furniture facing him. He's so shy about it, “and it's true, whoo-hoo-whoo-hoo, that it really only goes to show...

“That I know, that I, I, I, I should never, never, never be blue-ooh!” He hits the highnote perfectly. “Now you're mine, my happiness still makes me cry. And in time you'll understand the reason why if I cry, it's not because I'm sad. 

“But you're the only love that I've ever had.” He looks at her at once. Because he means the words, wants to sing them to her, wants to tell her those words. They're true. 

Y/N smiles wide, happy tears in the corners of her eyes. Stanley smiles wide and rushes over to her. He kneels before her and his face is mischievous, up to something.

“I can't believe,” he resumes singing, a theatrical facial expression on his features, which makes Y/N giggle, “it's happened to me. I can't concieve of anymore,” he extends his arm in the air, “mi-se-ry!” He exclaims, a mock-brave and determined look on his face. As if he was playing Superman, who's flying through the air after saving a particular girl form danger. 

Y/N giggles histerically, looking at Stanley and holding his other hand. He drops the act and leans closer into her face. Not too close, not that intimate. At least not yet.

“Ask me why,” he sings quieter, “I'll say I love you,” with each verse, he gets closer and closer, keeping their eyes locked on each other, “and I'm always thinking of you...” Stan drifts off and kisses her on the lips tenderly, sweetly. Just like he sang a second ago. 

Her knees buckle in, her feet give out. Gravity or rather, horrible pain and grief, takes over her completely and she's falling down to the ground. In the street, between her friends. All of them immediately get closer to her, huddle around her. 

They see the terrifying look on her face. It's everything mixed. Pain, memories, grief, terror, fear, anger, longing... It's all in there, in her wide, wide, as-big-as-buttons eyes. Mouth agape. She looks just like a person having a stroke would look. And her friends are actually scared that she is having one.

“Y/N!” Beverly calls to her, hoping to get her out of this horrid and scary trance. Ben pushes Y/N in a sitting position from behind so she wouldn't be laying on the wet, dirty ground of the Derry street. 

She gasps and hiccups and tries to regain control over her body and brain. But her mind can't help but go back to the best memories of her childhood. And her body is completely out of order, out of anyone's control. Her friends try to shake her, bring her back to them pysically first. 

The only thing they get from her before Y/N completely shuts down, is one word. “Stanley.” It's a quiet whisper that they barely heard. It was like a mutter between her lips, something meant for only her to hear. 

Her wide eyes close instantly and her mouth, too. She's limp in Ben's and Beverly's arms. “No! Y/N!” She exclaims, afraid something serious has happened to her. Some sort of internal, physical damage. But she's having a very pleasant dream, unconscious to her friends.

“Let's see that!” Stanley takes her sketchbook from her, making Y/N gasp and pry after her book, her pencil still in hand. 

“I'm not finished!” She exclaims, but it's no use. Everyone's huddled around Stanley holding her sketchbook and already looking at the new drawing she really has not finished yet.

“Oh my God, that is so pretty!” Beverly says.

“I'm the prettiest one, of course, thank you, Y/N.” Richie boasts. 

“Then I shall draw your horrible witch nose bigger, Rich!” She says and the kids both stick their tongues at each other, mean faces showing. Y/N comes closer to Stan holding the book.

Everyone's gasping and pointing at themselves in the artwork, saying how alike the drawing is to real life. And though Y/N loves the compliments and thanks them, she really needs to finish the piece so that it could be even more prettier and perfect.

She puts her hand firmly on the sketchbook and pulls it towards herself. Stanley looks at her with his delinquent famous smile and holds the book tight in his hands.

“Give it back, I need to finish it.” She requests. Stan takes the book closer to his chest. 

“What will I have for that?” He bargains and she narrows her eyes at the boy. 

“If you give it back,” she starts, “I'll give you the whole book. For your own exploitation.”

“Come on! We're hoping for something more enticing, Y/N!” Richie cries and Eddie hits his arm, despite snickering.  

“What about a kiss?” Stan suggests and Y/N lets herself smile at him. She throws herself at him, kissing him hard on the lips as they both smile wicked smiles. 

“Ew!” Everyone exclaims upon the action and turns away from the couple. 

“Guys, they're so cute.” Beverly cheers, but everyone boos her, already finding new things to do. Beverly laughs to herself and turns back to her book in the hammock. 

Stanley and Y/N pull apart, smiling and looking at each other with heart eyes and looks of pure gratitude and appreciation. Though their friends exclaim in disgust whenever the two show a bit of affection towards each other, they really love them and can't help wishing for the same kind of love in their lives. They're happy for the most loving best friends in their group, very happy.

“Guys, she's waking up!” Eddie calls out to his friends once he sees Y/N opening her eyes slowly. He hopes she's really waking up, not just a flutter of the eyelids in-between dreams or nightmares. Richie, Bill, Mike, Beverly and Ben come up to the hotel's lounge sofa where Y/N is laying, now conscious. 

“Hey, honey,” Beverly tries to smile at her. She takes Y/N's hands between her own, “how are you feeling?” She asks.

“I would love not to answer that question.” Y/N says and sits up. Her friends sigh, somehow relieved by her answer and her healthy look. “How long was I—how long ago—” She can't seem to form the question she wants to ask.

“A couple hours.” Eddie answers her un-finished question. “Do you need some Advil or Morphine?” He questions. Y/N furrows her eyebrows at the man. 

“No, thanks.” She says. “So, what are we doing, what's our plan?”

“Well, since Beverly has seen us all die,” Richie starts to say, oblivious that his words might trigger tears and intense emotions in Y/N. Unwantedly, tears start dripping down onto her sweater and jeans in hot streams, “we need to kill the stupid clown this time. Otherwise, we'll die. Just how Bev's seen us die.”

Y/N sobs, pulling her knees to her chest and letting it all out. She sobs and she cries and she hiccups and she wails, heartbreaking sounds for her friends' ears. 

“I don't care.” She cries. “I don't care. I'll die, then. I don't care.” She shakes her head, repeating the phrases over and over.

“Well, that was my plan.” Richie admits. 

“We can't let you die, Y/N.” Ben tells her. But she doesn't listen. She doesn't want to hear support or any positive comments from anyone now.

“Listen, Y/N/N,” Mike starts to say, sitting closer to her, “there is a way to kill him. For real this time.” This is what makes her look at Mike, or look at anyone, really. He's caught her attention. Is it true?

“Trust us, Y/N. W-W-We can end IT he-here and n-now.” Bill joins in. She looks at him, she looks at Beverly, she looks at Ben, and Richie and Eddie. They're all nodding. Quite sure that there really is a way for them to get rid of this horrid creature that's ruined so many lives. Finally do it. And they get to do it. 

No one will know it if they do, no one will congratulate them and put crowns on their heads and give them flowers. But it doesn't matter. They'll be heroes to themselves and to the people who have lost everything because of this stupid killer clown. If they succeed and don't die in the process.

The whole point was to find an artifact from your childhood here. It had to be burned. Y/N's was a portrait of herself that Stan did. He tried really hard. And she doesn't want to burn it now. 

She sat in the clubhouse alone, after everyone left, crying. Full-out sobbing and wailing in her deep sorrow. She was completely spent after it, save Pennywise spooking her out of there, the portrait crumpled up in her fist tightly. 

IT thought it'd be funny to portray itself as Stanley who was drowning in his own blood and almost taking Y/N with him, if she hadn't ran up the stairs. It's not real, it's not real. Her fear was drowning and losing Stanley. And the fact that one of them came true is just so unacceptably sad. Devastating. (A/N: I want to cry.)

She layed in the grass above the Clubhouse for however long she needed to calm down and pick up her broken pieces, mentally and physically. She slowly rose to her feet and started her way back to the hotel. She thought she saw Bowers on her way back, but she told herself she's just mistaken the man for Bowers. But, when Eddie came out of his room with blood gushing out of his cheek and said that Bowers is in his room, she realised she wasn't mistaken with who she saw.

After an argument and Richie trying to flee the town, the Losers Club reunited and bravely went back into the Neibolt house to kill IT once and for all. Y/N was scared, hollow, but with the realisation and perk that she had nothing to lose anymore. She had lost the most important thing in her whole life. Nothing can be worse than that.

They were a mess. Not five minutes into the trip in Neibolt and they had split up, everything was in shambles and they couldn't get a hold of themselves or each other.

Y/N was crouched down, turned inwards, in the corner of the must-have-been kitchen. Her head between her hands and her eyes on Stanley. Or Stanley's head. The one that now had spider legs grown out of it. His eyes are... horrid. No sign of life or love or anything good. Death, hate, anger, maliciousness. None of these qualities were something that Stan ever contained.

Tears are streaming down her face in a quick pace, scorching her cheeks and eyes, irritating the skin. Her throat is already dry from the screaming and crying for the past twelve hours. It hurts to cry, but it hurts to see... this weird Stanley Uris. She can't help but cry.

Her love. Her life. Her only love ever. The boy that was ready to give her everything he could give from him. The boy who was ready to show her the world, who was ready to take the moon and stars from the sky if she ever asked, the boy who was ready to protect and love her like no one else could ever try.

He's dead. He's dead because of IT and its wrath and its toll on Stanley. How unfair. How unfair for IT to do this to such a caring, innocent young boy. How dare he. Stanley had done nothing wrong in his life to get this end. Stanley hadn't done anything wrong for something or someone to bite him back in the form of IT, a killer clown or a weird-looking woman. 

She's filled with fury. She's still crying, still bawling and moaning in emotional pain while her friends are in panic. Stanley's spider form is not getting off Richie. Bill is trying to help him, Eddie's in another corner, frozen in fear, as well. God, he can't even help his friends. He's so scared. His fear and traumatic memories have been so repressed and now they're coming back in a second's time, all at once, and hitting him in the face like a brick. Quite physically.

Y/N picks up a spike from the floor. She figures it must be laying there since Pennywise got it out of his head when Beverly stabbed him. Twenty-seven years ago... When Stan was still alive... When they were all in one piece. Her face twists in utter anger and she growls, almost. Eddie's eyes flicker over to her, scared of her, too. He hopes she's not another form of IT.

Y/n holds the spike in her hands so tight it makes her hand hurt. But she doesn't care. She must do this. At least this. She staggers over the room to where Richie, Bill and Stan's head are with the spike in her hands and, upon reaching them, immediately starts hitting the damn spider-head with the spike's sharp end.

She's screaming and crying and calling IT names, calling the entity out for what he's done, for what he is. Her every emotion is spilling out into each hit and each word and spit of her tongue.

Richie and Bill start screaming, and Y/N tries hard not to hit Richie in the process. The spider-head grows weaker and falls off of Richie, who now has a very bloody shirt. Bill helps him get up, and the men both watch Y/N completely destroying the spider-head with the spike. 

She's yelling, she sounds like an animal, there's anguish and rage. The only things they see existing in her. Blood is everywhere, the head is screaming, as well, blood and guts and brains and pieces of spider-legs everywhere. Horrid, disgusting scene all around.

The moment the head is hit to complete pieces is when Y/N finally groans out, relief in the groan, and drops the spike. She collapses on the floor next to the destroyed head, her hand on her stomach. 

That was a big thing. A big step. In stepping over her fears and in starting to get over Stan's death. If she's ever capable of that. 

“Y/N!” Bill and Richie go over to her, helping her stand up. Eddie's in terrible shock from everything he's seeing, he can't move.

“I'm fine, guys, I'm fine. That just took a lot of strength.” She says and takes a few deep breaths, panting as the two men hold her by her sides and back supportively. 

“You're a fucking hero, Y/N.” Richie says. She doesn't say anything, and nor does anyone else for a while. Richie and Bill exchange looks, thinking the same thing.

Y/N could destroy a thing that looked exactly like the love of her life. While her fear is losing him, Stanley dying or just... going away in any other way. She is so brave. Much, much more brave than the two of them combined, at least now. She is so, so brave and strong. She could be the main key to destroying IT when they get to the layer.

A/N: Maybe this was very dramatic, but just... imagine being in the Losers' place. Imagine it, just... swim deep into the thought and concept. It couldn't be otherwise.

Permanent taglist:  @gabiatthedisco @v0idbella @inlovewithmiddleagedcelebs @works-of-fanfiction @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen @stfxlou @ur-gunna-h8-ths @empressdreams @betweenloveandfire @but-legendsneverdie @deardeacy @thewinchesterchronicles @mavieesttriste16 @mrsmazzello @benhardyseyes @langdonzvoid @intrrverted @the-freak-cassie-131

Stanley Uris tag-list: @nightbu-g​ @sadhwstudent​ @shawni-h​ @gothackedalready

[rqs902]

.

IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS 

ITS MY BOY ENYU!!!! ON THE FRONT PAGE???? okay also a big deal for zhaohao and li hao too!!!

ok now into part 2 of the ep

interesting that they focused on junhao for everybody. can understand he probably has the most different and struggle experience so probably more interesting for dramas sake lol im surprised they dont spend more time on shengen, considering his popularity. 

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA JUNHAO FREAKING OUT over the fact that they only learned the dance for 40 mins. LOL thats the level of tyger + kou cong + shengen, i can imagine the struggle of the yang guang nan hai group in comparison AHAHA i just imagine him running down the hall freaking out like HOW DID THEY LEARN THE DANCE IN JUST ONE CLASS WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE 

lollll “theyre all dachang boys” “theyre all zhang yixing’s students” HAHAHAH you know even though he is slightly struggling compared to the rest, he aint bad and theyre all taking it light hearted with laughter so seems like a good learning environment! and he’s confident he’ll get it LOL thats good! i think thats what makes him so amusing 

HAHAHA i love how lin mo just keeps giggling at junhao like he genuinely just finds him so amusing LOL yay for making new friends 

awww bc junhao’s always been a leader i feel like for him to finally feel like hes being taken care of is so nice. i have absolute confidence that this group will treat him kindly. AW HE CALLED HIM MOMO 

im still disappointed they have YET to show zhan yu’s funny/strange personality and this wouldve been a great opportunity bc hes surrounded by friends he’s comfortable with!! like his friendship with kou cong! or akey and lin mo! but sigh...

THEY PUT ZHAN YU IN THE FRONT FOR THE SEXUAL LINE HAHAHHA PERFECT BUT I SEE LIN MO BEING ONE OF THE ONLY ONES NOT SHOWING HIS ABS HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

wow the lyrics are so fitting for lin mo to scream LOL but also ay his vocals?! aw im glad they put in a little rap for shengen and akey! honestly was kinda hoping for more bc they havent had a proper stage together before and i feel like itd be awesome but also junhao and zhan yu vocalization at the end was on point!!

lol all the kids being like zhang pd’s words are so detailed and professional... sigh theyve been missing out until now 

im glad they really pointed out how each member of this team did well! they really all did a great job with each of their parts, and they each got a little part to shine, and when put together, it was a complete performance. im proud of them and happy for them!

aw.... i feel like we’ve been waiting so long to hear lin mo get complimented.... i feel like it’s been since qcyn namanana that we’ve been waiting for him to redeem himself and climb back up to the peak. ugh its been nearly a year and a half. im just so terrified of whats gonna happen next bc im way too skeptical at this point to expect this high to continue, esp with what happened after namanana last time......... but for now, im happy. relieved hes finally getting the recognition he deserves and im happy that hes happy. lol i was also half scared we were gonna get spirit of the knight-ed again with his pink hair (nightmare flashbacks to lin mo and changxi’s deletion from that perf) i dont think ill ever get over that :( i feel like as a lin mo stan, ive been trained to not keep my hopes up and to prepare for the worst bc hes the type of person who just always gets the short end of the stick, it feels like. 

aw the part when they go back to the waiting room and jin fan is waiting for them with an encouraging smile and the whole exchange of "帥的真的帥的" "哇~可以吧" "我沒想到" "那必須的" our leader did them proud :’) 

ugh the part where luo jie calls them and tells them he can’t come back........ heart breaking. i can see why lin ran and xikan would be really affected. lin ran has been luo jie’s go-to since he left and knowing how their usual friendship involves making fun of one another and jokingly complaining about each other, it hits hard when lin ran says he cried his eyes out. it hurts that they didnt get to share the stage again before he left. xikan may not have shared the stage with luo jie during ip, but hes known him since then and has been with him through both rounds here. it interesting bc i feel like the namanana perf was very light hearted on qcyn but i cant see that happening here, esp with their outfits? 

aw shiwei and chaowen taking charge to raise their spirits :’) 

lin ran’s voice fits so well with this song wow! i really like his lines! also lol i didnt know xikan would have abs but okay and tbh im always hesitant about dances with props bc it always is so easy to look messy..... like every slight difference in angle in the way you hold your arms is immediately magnified 

and like sxl’s fan is obviously broken and having performed fan dances myself i know that that’s like the most annoying thing to happen on stage, and can be really difficult to deal with, even tho it happens ALL THE TIME with those types of fans ugh :( 

i mean its super kind of them to leave luo jie’s space empty for him, but its kinda weird to have parts of the audio missing sadly :( and also chaowen’s voice did something weird in the middle there, like its sounds weirdly weak 

wait didnt yixing tell them to close the fan? but they didnt? 

xikan’s facial expressions are perfecttt, good for him! wish they gave more screen time to shiwei during shiwei’s lines lol... but also i cant help but hear lin mo’s voice during that part LOL ugh speaking of which i miss that team dynamic namanana team a on qcyn HAHAHAH hwx being a brat and fjj running around wild and lin mo giving up on them all just laughing like idiots for hours on end while bo yuan just judges them from a corner LOL i love the beginning of the wenxuan and lin mo friendship good times :’)  

HAHAH ENYU AGAIN WITH THE REALEST COMMENTS - i agree AHHAHAH i love these kids too but there was something off about this stage 

im surprised but also not surprised by what the judges are saying 

o didnt realize sxl was supposed to be center but i guess that explains the big puffy thing on his shoulder lol.......... agree with cx tho, even without his broken fan, i think the fans made them look worse bc it just looked messy 

well idk if we’re getting all the stages today but at least jin fan’s is also getting aired! TYGER HUG FOR JIN FAN YESS

jin fan teaching them dance? yes thank you for showing us he is a good dancer. oof jin fan’s just too nice :( hes trying to avoid conflict too much that it caused conflict smh......... lol oscar trying to talk to su er hes having such struggle i feel that bro LOL hes doing really well though, tbh being relatively young, hes really trying his best and is being reasonable. 

LOL HE CALLED HIM JIN FAN GE i forgot jin fan is considered old lol..... jin fan really taking the higher road here and im glad they sat together and talked it out a bit

THE JIN FAN VOICE YESSSS hahahhaha kou cong holding the tyger sign!!

oo is that some of his bel canto-style singing coming through LOL 

AY NICE for hong weihao and oscar to put in some rap 

some of those high notes were a bit questionable at the end but okay jin fan is really claiming that vocal + dance teacher role i see.... interesting 

but agree with yixing that he doesnt need to force himself to do high notes bc his voice is so nice regardless!! yay for oscar getting recognition! im still waiting for jin fan to do a cool dance performance sigh

wasnt expecting an enyu feature BUT ILL TAKE IT 

oof huang enyu saying hes really trying to put himself out there by going for leader and the realest comment that he hasnt considered getting to debut he just wants to pass this round oof and he feels like his opportunities may be cut short bc hes getting old oof

enyu and chenxu crying watching the movie 

AW THEIR HAHA VIDEOS ARE THE CUTEST THING I LOVE THESE KIDSSS so sad that so many of them are at risk of elimination :(  im glad these vocals made their own friend group! I hope itll be a memory they carry forward. they do all have shared experiences as vocals on this show. 

this reaction to junrong’s voice

same tho :’) but actually all of their voices are so so nice like actually these 5 are all people whose voices ive really listened for on this show, but wow renyu’s voice in particular like really ugh just sounds so pure 

also enyu looks really nice in this performance but thats a side note okay moving on

i mean literally these reactions

and li hao crying while singing and so many kids in the waiting room crying while watching OOF this perf has got me emotional 

HAHAHHAHA THEIR INTROS HAHAHHA

UGH ENYU his plea just.... the way he yelled it bc it mustve taken courage and it mustve been a frustration on his mind for a while now and bc maybe he wouldve broken down if he hadnt yelled it out but im really crying now.... and its so out of character for him that you know he really really is feeling desperate and feels the need to speak out

lol wait gjm posted on weibo about him? is that why hes getting more attention lol..........

i really hope the vocals win :( 

no tygers in the next ep preview? hmmMMMMMmm okay 

well also interesting that they put the other 4 perfs with the elims...... seems sketch but at least most of my kids got to go this week ahhhhhh i feel bad for the other groups already. esp the ones with the kids who arent as popular... 

[musical-broken-heart]

Erased

Ship(s): Stenbrough, Reddie(?)

Age: 12-13

TW: Drugs (don't do them), Abuse, Slurs

Bills Pov

I leaned against the bridge watching the smoke rise from my mouth as I smelled the cannabis from my hand go back into my mouth. Another day where I barely made it through without being called stutter-boy by Henry. I was so close but I just had to yell and try to stand up for my friends. Sighing I threw the butt of the cigarette to the ground and stomped it out, walking back home. Climbing through my window I didn't want to get beat for being out late again.

Digging through my desk drawers I found my mint gum. I didn't want my brother to smell the smoke and even though it didn't stop the smell entirely it did dim the strong scent.

Going to bed I woke up at someone yelling my name. Groaning I got up and grabbed clothes for the day. "Hey fag!" my dad hissed. " what does fag mean momma?" Georgie asked getting his father a glare from his mother. "It's a bad word that your father should not be saying." She said. "Bill I have already said you are not missing a day of school." She said putting the plates on the table.

"I already s-said I'd g-g-go tomorrow," I said laying my head down on the table. "He doesn't listen! Look at him he's probably high." father said now reading the newspaper. "He's high!" Georgie said receiving a glare from me. "I don't want you going to school high William!" mother said. Cringing at the name I stood up. "Great so then I won't go. Thanks, mom!" I said walking away.

Knowing I'd have to go anyway I went to school stopping at Richie's house Eddie, Ben and Beverly soon joining us. "Alright so Stan has been at school for the past 30 minutes because he needed to get some homework done and for some reason, he's really upset with you, Bill," Eddie said. "Oh, why?" I asked as we walked into the building. "I don't know he just said that he saw something and now he won't talk to you," Eddie said.

"Hey, guys," Stan said from behind us. "Hey, can you tell us why you ain't talking to Billy?" Richie asked. "I'm actually going to talk to him after school about it. See you in class." he smiled and walked away.

Stans pov

Last night I was bird watching and lost track of time. Hurring home I had to go across the bridge and I saw someone. They had something in their hands that I could make out like a cigarette by the look and smell. Thinking it was Henry I waited for him to leave. After a few minutes I looked closer and he was smaller than the tormentor. His hair was familiar and that facial structure was even more recognizable. Bill was smoking!  

He threw it to the floor and stomped it out then walking home and climbing through his window. Breathing faster I rushed to Eddies. "Hey man what's up you know how late it is?" he asked. Before he could say how upset his mother would be I cut him off. "I'm heading to school early tomorrow and I'm not talking to Bill. I saw something and I'm... I don't know. So don't wait up for me." I said. He nodded and went back to bed.

The following morning I got up early and left the house. Waiting near my locker after a few minutes I heard the losers and walked to them. "Hey, guys!" I said. Eddie smiled and waved. "Hey, can you tell us why you ain't talking to Billy?" Richie said slamming his hand on Bills back causing him to gasp. "I'm actually going to talk to him after school about it. See you in class." I said and waved to Beverly. Before I left I glanced at Bill and it tore me apart to see such a broken emotionless expression on his face.

I loved his smile and he always had eyes that sparkled even when he was upset or sad or anything in-between but now he had eyes that showed a hurt boy or had looked as though he just lost everything. It was a long day because his smile and laugh were fake. I knew it was because of me. I wanted to hug him and tell him I loved him but he had been smoking! AND I AM NOT GAY! He is just a friend (the three words I hate the most) a friend who has really nice hair and smooth pale flawless skin with lips that look so kissable and his beautiful puppy eyes and- holy shit I'm gay for my best friend!

Sighing I walked out of the school to see Bill already a block away from the school. Rushing after him I went in front of him. "What is wrong with you?!" I yelled surprising him and me. His shocked face went away as quickly as came and it replaces with anger. "I d-d-don't know what you s-saw but it w-wasn't me." he hissed. "So I didn't see you smoking at the bridge last night?" I asked now feeling embarrassed for thinking he would do such a thing.

"Y-y-you saw that?" he asked causing me to look at him. He looked at the floor and just stood there. "That was you?! Bill why would you-"

"My parents b-b-beat me. They are a-abusive and-" I cut him off and hugged him. "I want to help you. We'll start off slow." I said looking him in the eyes. He smiled and nodded. I held out my hand and his smile left as soon as he realized what I wanted. Digging in his pocket he pulled out his pack and handed it to me. I looked at him and threw it into the water. Looking at him he looked to the side no emotion showing. Placing my hand on his chin I turned his face so we looked at each other. "Billy. Why didn't you tell any of us?" I asked.

He just looked at me a blank look on his face. He opened and closed his mouth a few times trying to figure out what to say. "I-I-I d-d-didn't want t-t-to bother y-y-you." he stuttered out my heart-shattering at his empty voice. I grabbed his arms causing him to flinch but he didn't try moving away. "Stay over at my place tonight. However, I think it'd be best if you don't go back to your house." I said knowing he wouldn't listen to me. "Th-thanks S-Stan b-b-b-but I shouldn't. I gotta g-g-go." Bill said jumping on his bike and riding off.

I sighed and walked home. "Hey, honey how was your day?" My mother asked as I walked into the house. "I think Bill is in trouble," I said not knowing what else to do.

Bill's POV

Stan knew. The one person I never wanted to know about my problem. He wanted to help me but I didn't need it. Walking into my house I was instantly thrown against the wall. "You little brat! What do you want your brother to grow up to be? Disobedient like you?!" Zach yelled slapping me and gutting me until I toppled over. "N-no." I coughed as he grabbed me by my hair and lifted my head to look at him. "No what?!" he screamed in my face. "N-n-n-no s-s-sir." I hissed through my pain. He scoffed and dropped me to the floor walking away. Groaning I rolled to my side and held my side hoping I didn't have a broken rib.

Getting up my legs shook as I slowly walked to my bedroom holding onto the wall and anything that would help me not fall over. My mother walked into the room and watched as I limped my way to my room. Tears in her eyes she did nothing but stand there. I hate her. I hate her and I might just hate her more than the man who beats me. All she does is stand and watch. She never tries to stop it. Never has. I can't wait to get out of this town.

~Time Skip a few hours~

It was getting dark and I looked over to see it was close to 8:30. God, I needed a smoke. Leaning back in my chair I opened my drawer and pulled out a pack taking one out and climbing out my window. Before lighting it I thought about Stan. His smile he wanted to help. What is wrong with me? I'm not gay! Well...

Stan had always been there for me and I loved him. Maybe more than a friend. Defenatally more than a brother. Sighing I didn't hear a bike come over and stop. "I thought you'd have another pack. How about this. Once at night once in the morning then we slowly limit it to one a day than to once a week and so on." I heard an angelic voice say. Turning around I saw Stan smiling at me. His smile faded and he cupped my cheek. "You alright?" he asked seeing the bruise my father had given me. "I-I-I fell." I lied turning my face away.

He smiled and nodded clearly not believing me. He held up a match and smiled as though offering to light my drug. "Are you an idiot?" I asked no stuttering in my words. I froze regretting what I had said out loud. He chuckled and shook his hand taking the flame out leaning against the house. "You were friends with Eddie and Richie before me. You wanted to bring me into the group," he said softly his curls blowing softly in the wind making him look more beautiful.

"I wondered why but didn't ask. I know why now. You and I Bill." he paused looking off into the distance no longer a smile on his face. "We're both fakes," he said. I looked at him and he smiled. "But now I want to help you. Don't forget. We're starting slow." he said before leaving.

Sighing I stayed outside a few more minutes before climbing through my window. Looking at the sheets on my bed I smiled. Only a few hours till I would shake awake in fear or pain.

~Time Skip Saterday~

I walked to my house slowly not wanting to open the door. Taking a deep breath I dared to and walked in. My father wasn't home and it was dark. Well as dark as any house could be with windows and sun being the only thing giving light to the room. Walking into my room I shut the door and fell to the floor my back against the door. A soft sob escaped my lips when I heard the door open and slam.

Waiting for my drunk father to get to me and beat me I tried to hide but it didn't matter how softly my weightless body moved across my room it was still thunderous as the man threw the door open and snarled at me. "FAG! Don't try and hide you worthless mistake!" he shouted reaching for me as I backed away only for my back to hit my bed. "P-p-please! L-luh-leave me a-a-alone!" I shouted at my father as he wrapped his grip around my ankles pulling me towards him and slamming me onto the floor.

"You little shit! Stay quiet!" Zach yelled slapping me across the face. After an hour of this, he stopped and dragged me by my hair to the kitchen. "Get the ice you brat!" Zach yelled throwing me against the wall watching as I limped over to the freezer and grab a bag of ice. The man yanked it from me and poured it into the sink putting water in it. Watching it fill he pulled me over and lifted me over the counter pushing my face in not letting me come up for air.

Every 30 seconds or so he'd pull me by the hair causing me to let out a blood raising scream of pain and need of warmth. "We need to get these bruises of your face before Monday!" Zach said pushing my face back into the cold water.

~Time Skip~ Stans POV

Bill left the clubhouse a while ago but he left his bag. Richie and Eddie went with me to his house. "Get the ice you brat!" we heard someone yell. The door was locked and the windows had been locked with every blind closed so we couldn't see in.

Walking around the house I climbed through Bills window followed by Eddie who, besides me, was careful to not make noise but Richie jumped in causing the ground to shake. Considering I was scared it just made a thud with no shake in the ground but the noise was loud enough for someone to come running into the room.

My heart raced scared of what Bill's father would do. The door opened and I shut my eyes ready to apologize for coming through a window. "Stanny? You guys can't be here right now Momma told me to tell you to leave." I heard Georgie say. Looking up I let out a sigh and smiled. "We came to see Bill. Is he here?" I asked. Georgie was about to say something before we heard a scream come from the kitchen. Georgie started crying and ran out of the room not bothering to stop me from finding Bill.

Georgie was crying hugging his mother's legs while she stood watching her husband. I felt my blood boil. What kind of mother just watched her husband abuse their son?! What kind of father beats their child? Richie and Eddie stood in the room staring at the boy that laid on the floor dripping wet from the ice water as he shook from the cold. His bruised face staring at us terrified. He wasn't begging for help he was begging us to leave. "Bill?" I heard Eddie say behind me. Even the small voice caused Bill to flinch.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! Who beats their son?!" I yelled not realizing Bill shuddering at the yelling. I stopped and looked at him but he refused to look me in my eyes. "He's staying with me tonight," I said looking Zach in the eyes as he glared at me. "You take my son-" he began but I cut him off. "You don't have the right to call him your son!" I yelled kneeling next to Bill who shied away from my touch but then melted into my arms shaking. I glared at the man who looked shocked at what he was seeing.

His face tightened and he grabbed Bill by the arm causing him to let out a whimper of pain. "You're the one turning my son into a faggot!" he yelled at me raising his hand to hit me. I stood my ground ready to get hit but it never came. Opening my eyes I saw Bill's arms wrapped around his father stopping him from slapping me. His father looked petrified. Grabbing his son he threw him to the side kicking him then looking at me. "Get the fuck out of this house! I'm sending this mistake away," Zach said.

I looked at Bill who didn't try getting up. "Get! Out!" Zach said once again. Richie walked over to me and grabbed my arm softly pulling me away. "Stan. Let's go," he said quietly. "No!" I said looking to Bill who just stared blankly at me. His eyes should have been filled with tears but he clearly had none. "Stan we'll come back later," Eddie said softly grabbing my other arm both of them dragging me out of the house. I stopped right before I got off their porch and looked at Sharon who refused to meet my eyes. "How the hell can you live with yourself knowing and doing nothing about what that man does?" I asked before Richie took me away.

Later that night it was cold. January in Maine doesn't normally get below freezing but tonight it was closer than normal. The snow on the ground deep and my bed warm but I couldn't help and think of Bill. That freezing water. He was wearing a tank top as it happened while his brother and mother wore warm knitted sweater. Of course, I could see Georgie refusing to because he didn't understand what his older brother did do get such a punishment.

Sitting up in my bed my legs dangled as my feet just barely touched the floor. Sighing I yelled and raced down the hall to my parent's room. They were already awake from my scream. "Stanley are you alright what's wrong?" My mother asked holding me safely. "Bill's being abused by his father. I-I think he's in danger." I sobbed as she dried my tears looking at my father who was already grabbing his coat and keys. "Andrea call the police. Stan come with me we're going to the Denbroughs," he said. I nodded and quickly ran out to the car.

We arrived at the house quickly and I ran up to the door but my dad told me to stand behind him as he knocked on the door. Sharon opened it and horror took over her. "Rabbi Uris. Wh-what are you doing here?" she asked her voice shaking as she looked at me. "I came by to see if we could talk? Stan says you are an amazing cook. I would like to try some of your food." my father lied. She nodded and stepped aside for us to enter the house.

"Donald Uris, what are you doing in my house?" Zach asked walking into the room. "I came by to see my sons friend. Where is Bill?" Donald asked grimly as he looked the other man in the eyes. Zach scowled. "Asleep." he growled. My father nodded and looked at me. "Stan go wake up your friend," he ordered. I nodded and stood up starting for Bills room.  Before I left the kitchen Zach grabbed my arm tightly definitely leaving bruises. Why should I be complaining about that considering what Bill is going through? "Zach! My son should be allowed to!" I heard my father say. Bills father let go of my arm and mumbled something as he watched me enter Bills room.

Bills empty room. Everything was how it was when I climbed through the window. A mess with clothes everywhere and a messed up bed. But his desk is never a mess. His desk is always clean with the pencils and art supplies in perfect order and his pack of cigarets carefully hidden away in the desk. So why was I looking at an empty bed and a desk that looked like Bill was trying to escape? Cigarets scattered across the floor along with notebooks one of which was was open to a page where I was drawn on it.

Georgie walked into the room and rubbed his eyes. "Don't tell daddy I'm awake," he said softly. I walked over to him and hugged him. "It's okay Georgie. Tell me where Bill is and I'm gonna help you two." I whispered kissing the boys forehead. "Will you two live happily ever after?" he asked causing me to freeze. I never thought about that. I loved Bill and would do anything for him. "I don't know Georgie," I said.

"He's in the shed outside. Daddy locked it 2 hours ago after Bill tried to leave. You two should live happily ever after. Billy really likes you." Georgie said yawning. I smiled and carried him to his room quietly walking to the back door. "Your son turned mine into a fag!" I heard Zach yell. "If my son is going to be a what you call a fag I'm proud it's with Bill! Neither of them are fags they are two boys who love each other and thats more then you can give your own son!" my father shouted back.

Running through the snow I got to the shed which was locked but Bill had once shown me where the keys were. Unlocking the door I heard Zach running to me but it was too late. I saw Bill laying on the shed floor topless shaking as he curled himself into a ball in the corner trying to keep warm. Running to him I took off my coat and put it around him. He tried to leave my grasp but I wouldn't let him. "Shh. It's okay Bill. It's gonna be alright. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere It's alright." I hushed him running my hands through his hair as he wrapped his arms around my waist shaking slightly.

He was freezing and I feel like if I found him any later he would have been gone. "Get away from my son you fag!" he yelled at me walking towards me causing Bill to hold me even tighter shaking even more. Before he could get to me I saw red and blue lights and men came running grabbing the man forcing him away from us. My dad came running to Bill and placed a hand softly on his shoulder. "You can rest now Bill(You can rest now Tony). You're gonna stay with us for a while. You and your brother. Let's get you warmed up." He picked the boy up and carried him to the car. "Stan go get Georgie," he said and I quickly did as told.

~Next Day~

All the Losers came to my house to see if Bill was okay. He was asleep in my arms still shaking slightly though he was no longer cold. "How is he?" Beverly asked as they all sat looking at the Leader. "Better," I replied softly brushing his hair. "I've never seen him like this. He looks so. Scared. So vulnerable." Mike said getting a nod from everyone. "You should have seen him yesterday. I've never seen him look so lost and broken." Richie said holding Eddie who was crying a little. Bill groaned a little starting to wake up.

Opening his eyes he looked around confused by his surroundings. "Hey, Billy. You okay?" I asked rubbing the boys back holding him close. Bill placed his head on my chest and nodded. "D-d-don't wanna w-w-w-wake up," he mumbled. I looked at the others then down at the boy in my lap. "Sorry?"

"I-I-I'm safe a-a-and w-w-warm. I-I-I'm l-luh-loved and in y-y-y-you a-arms. Th-then I wake up." Bill sobbed. I felt like crying as I held Bill closer if possible. "Bill, look at me. You're safe. It's gonna be alright." I said as he hid his face in my neck still sobbing. He suddenly stopped and sat there in my arms for a moment before sitting up fast and looking at me horrified. "Wheres Georgie? I-I have to g-g-go get him!" he said standing up stumbling to the door. I stood up and grabbed him.

He struggled to try to get away from me. "Let me go! Stan let go of me! I-I need to get G-Georgie!" he yelled but I picked him up and carried him to the couch laying him down. "Bill- Bill you need to calm down. Georgie is fine. He's here right now okay?" I said trying to calm the boy down. Bill shook his head still not believing me. Georgie walked into the room seeing me trying to keep Bill on the sofa while he tried to getaway. "What are you doing?!" Georgie said causing me to stop. Bill sat up and looked at his brother letting out a sigh. "Georgie, Bill needs to rest. Can you tell him that?" I asked causing the 6-year-old to giggle. "Bill! Stanny says you need to rest!" he said trying to sound serious but failing.

Bill stared at the boy before smiling and nodding. "Sure thing doc.," he said messing with his brother's hair. Stan smiled and sat next to the boy wrapping an arm around him without thinking. Bill leaned against the jew and closed his eyes. "Stanley make sure Bill eats! Don't let him outside!" Mom said before leaving for work. "Stanny." I heard the boy mumbled. I smiled and hummed in response. "I-I love you," he said quietly.

I smiled and kissed his forehead. "I love you too baby." he giggled and hugged me tighter. "Stay with me?" he asked as I rubbed his back. "For forever." I hummed ignoring all of our friends watching and Georgie jumping up and down.

Richie's POV

"Richie! Richie! Richie!" Georgie said tugging at my shirt as we watched Stan and Bill cuddle and finally confess their love. "Yes, Georgie?" I chuckled picking him up. "Are they gonna live happily ever after?" he asked was Stan kissed the boy on the couch. I smiled and nodded. "I think so, Georgie. I think so."

Georgie giggled and nodded. "Good! They belong together!" he said clearly loud enough for the two to hear him cause they both went red causing the Losers to laugh. "Alright give them space!" Mr Uris said bringing us to the kitchen for food.

[crazylivingx]

me expressing my love for love yourself: answer

it’s only been 3 days into 2019 and i’ve been emo about love yourself: answer because i recently bought the album in korea and their lyricism makes me want to cry pls ignore this if you don’t wanna read about my feelings towards the solo songs released throughout the love yourself era because the pure genius and passion put into this project is truly astounding yalls pls love yourselves this is also really personal you’ve been warned (also apologies if i’ve made any grammatical errors lmao)

*i’m going by the ly: answer sequence

(as im writing this in my language and literature class my lecturer goes “my daughter loves bts” and cue my friend and i shouting the member’s names to guess his daughter’s bias and its jhope like wow we stan a jhope stan he said she thinks he “has such a blinding smile’ and thats honestly the biggest mood)

euphoria

this song is innocent af when i first heard it i knew it was a bopping bop the synths in the chorus can kick me to switzerland i barely even remember what the video was about all i remember is jungkook and that yellow jacket lmao his vocal runs when he sings “won’t you please stay in dreams” is just heavenly it honestly feels like i’m floating through the clouds with this song this song can convert people who don’t like good songs with synths bet i can’t imagine anyone other than jungkook singing this song tbh if you get an s.o. i hope you experience this song

favourite line (i know it’s not a singular line pls bear with me):

You’re the sun that rose again in my life

A reincarnation of my childhood dreams

I don’t know what these emotions are

Am I still dreaming?

This dream is a blue mirage in the desert

A priori deep inside of me

I’m so happy, I can’t breathe

My surroundings are getting more and more transparent

I hear the far-away ocean

Across the dream, over the horizon

I’m going to the place that’s getting clearer

Take my hands now

You are the cause of my euphoria

trivia 起 just dance

this whole song shows how much jhope loves dancing and it’s so sweet??? wanting to dance with your partner under the moonlight and slowly falling in love???? the song just screams jhope especially with the chorus you can just imAGiNe him dancing like he has no bones because he DoeSn’T,,,, it has a synthetic feel but it also feels really passionate and human like jhope can #getit we stan a multitalented man the lyrics in this song is probably the lightest but it’s still fun and easy to understand and listen to

favourite line (yea i know it’s like an entire verse but i love their lyrics okay):

In my muddy life

You were like a single stem flower

Even this suffocating studio

If we’re together, turns into paradise

My dreams that once had no answer

Now becomes something we can relate to

Because our rhythm is matching

Because we have our dance, it’s a fate-like beat

serendipity

i remember covering my screams when the mv for this song came out before dna was released and my mom instantly knew what was up lmao this song was kind of my style of music with the #chillvibes it gave out but the chill-ness of the song didn’t make forgettable i’ve played this song in the car before and now my dad can recognize it lol even khalid liked it you go you funky little chimchim,,, i never really paid attention to the lyrics in this song but it sounds really innocent and possessive at the same time lmao i’ll give bts the benefit of the doubt (i also prefer the short version over the full length version don’t kill me)

favourite line (at least these are lines. i know i said line not lines let me live):

As much as my heart flutters, I’m worried

Destiny is jealous of us

//

Since the creation of the universe

Everything was destined

Just let me love you

trivia 承 love

this song man. namjoon. the piano chords in the beginning is what gives me life. the moment i heard them i instantly knew this was going to be a fave. i love the slight discordance no matter what i will instantly start bopping to it because it’s such a bop that you HAVE to bop along with it. rm loves wordplay in his lyrics, and when it crosses with his intellect something beautiful emerges. this song feels like a flower i love the melody of chords like the chords sold me immediately. and then after i was sold the lyrics stabbed me. there is no escape.

favourite line (god where do i begin):

I live so I love

//

I'm just a human, human, human (the ㅁ in 사람 saram which means human)

You erode all my corners

And make me into love, love, love (becomes ㅇin 사랑 sarang which means love)

We're humans, humans, humans

In that myriad of straight lines

My love, love, love

When you sit on top of it and you become my heart (if the ㅇ the word 사랑 is squished, it’ll look like a heart ♡)

//

You make I to an O

I to an O

Because of you

I know why human (saram) and love (sarang) sound similar

You make live to a love

Live to a love

Because of you

I know why a person should live by love

//

It's a long way from I to U

Fuck, JKLMNOPQRST

I crossed all the letters and I reached you 

(i really suggest going to genius’s website to fully understand the song if you want to)

singularity

kim taehyung better square up because i would buy burger king and fight him in the parking lot because he stole my toenail,,,, bighit released this song while i was in hell aka university and bOY was i hshshshhshdhdh <— thats the best way i can describe my feelings,,, like he made my tears flow upwards or something the music video was aMAZING and i was shooketh ihatehimsmjkidontbutyouknowwhatimean back to the song - serendipity was also pretty chill but in a darker way and i love it as well. to me the lyrics mirror fake love because it portrays how walking on thin ice feels and how you’ll lose your own voice just to suffer to make sure the person you love will continue loving you (the lyrics are also really slow so it made it easy for me to read the lyrics in karaoke lmao) singularity was a goddamn package for me the mv, the performance and v himself just hshshshshs when i listen to this song i feel like i’m lying down on a giant leaf floating on a clear pond watching a dim but twinkling meteor shower with giant water flowers surrounding me and fireflies are swaying along with wisps of smoke and this is getting too long winded i’ll stop here as i’m writing this i just remembered namjoon wrote this song in one shot after having surgery what a mans

favourite line (its long but it doesn’t feel complete if i break it up):

A thick ice has formed

In the dream I shortly went into

My agonizing phantom pain is still the same

Have I lost myself

Or have I gained you

I suddenly run to the lake

There’s my face in it

Please don’t say anything

Reach my hand out to cover the mouth

But in the end, spring will come someday

The ice will melt and flow away

Tell me if my voice isn’t real

trivia 轉 seesaw

oh boy. suga. min yoongi. this has been said before but the use of seesaw as a metaphor for a dying/toxic relationship is truly artistic and clever. the way he describes it in his lyrics creates a really clear picture of what’s happening. how if one person gets off a seesaw the other will get hurt as they’ll start to fall to the ground, how neither wants to get off because they know they’ll hurt whoever’s on the other side, and how staying or leaving this “repeated seesaw game” will hurt the both of them no matter what choice they choose. i’ll let the lyrics speak for themselves. (suga singing and dancing was also a pleasant surprise i fell on the floor)

favourite line (get ready i’m about to put like 80% of the song in here the lyrics is a masterpiece):

Repeated seesaw game

I'm tired of this

Repeated seesaw game

We're getting tired of each other

Were the petty arguments the start?

The moment I became heavier than you

Because there's never been parallels in the first place

Maybe I became more greedy and tried to fit in with you

Is there really a need to keep repeating ourselves

Saying this was love and this is love?

They're tired of each other, they seem to hold the same hand

//

People can be so crafty

They know they’ll get hurt if one person is missing

Because we don't want to be the villains

In the midst of a series of vague responsibilities

And we get so tired or if that we finally became parallel

But we didn’t want this kind of parallel

At first, we showed off who was heavier

We'd brag and smile

Now we're trying to beat each other

We're in a competition

The fire of a quarrel

It’ll only end if someone gets off right here

We’re acting like we’re comforting each other

But it’s mixed with thorns

Can’t keep doing this, we need to make a decision

//

(Hol' up Hol' up) I walk on this seesaw without you

(Hol' up Hol' up) Just like the beginning when you weren't here

(Hol' up Hol' up) I walk on this seesaw without you

(Hol' up Hol' up) I'm getting off this seesaw without you

(like trivia 承 love, you can read more about the song on genius’s website)

epiphany

stream epiphany. our boy kim seokjin’s vocals have truly improved huh. this to me felt like a response to awake (you can fLY JIN) and i applaud bighit for giving him this song. he finally gets the recognition and lines he deserves smh. you really feel like a proud parent when you watch the fancams throughout the love yourself tour and hear how his voice improves after each performance. the song is also kind of the ‘final act’ to all the solos in ly: answer and they finally get to spread their message of “its hard to love yourself, but that’s why you should so you can love others as well”. after becoming the shell of what you once were, the only way you can fill it up again is to love yourself, and that’s my pov of the whole point of the song. i’m gonna be honest i wasn’t really into this song in the beginning but i started to fall in love with it after a few listens (i listened to it sm that when i was downloading the ly: answer album i forgot to add epiphany cause i was streaming it LMAO)

favourite line (i know they’re verses as well hshdhds):

I’m the one I should love in this world

Shining me, precious soul of mine

I finally realized so I love me

Not so perfect but so beautiful

I'm the one I should love

//

I may be a bit blunt, I may lack some things

I may not have that shy glow around me

But this is me

My arms, my legs, my heart, my soul

bonus song - answer: love myself

doing a pewdiepie and adding a bonus song lmao my first listen of this song was in my friend’s house and we had the lyrics on and let me tell you the moment we read the lyrics we wanted to hug bts because it was so soft and it was so uwu we were so ready to love ourselves lol yes it sounds like a church song but like epiphany i learned to love it too this was also my first song of 2019 so if you decide to, please listen to it with an open heart

favourite line (hey look actual lines this time yes lines not line):

Maybe I fell in order to take the place of those countless stars

The target of thousands of bright arrows is me alone

//

Why do you keep trying to hide under your mask?

Even all the scars from your mistakes make up your constellation

that’s all from me bye sorry for the long post

bighit pls hire me as an album promoter

[sandersstudies]

Okay, so I said for 1,500 followers I would rant about my ship opinions. Want to make clear from the start that if you disagree with me, you are still totally cool and valid. Got it? Okay, let’s go.

This is a pretty long post so I’ll put some of it under a cut. 

Analogical Okay, so obviously “My Negative Thinking” sparked the interest in this one, and Moving On only strengthened it. I can see this one being romantic or platonic, and I like both, but prefer platonic mostly because I see logan as a bit paternal. This is a relationship that could be a two-way street. We’ve seen Logan be a bit protective of Virgil (”Virgil, are you okay?” in Moving On GETS me), and I think Virgil would also be very protective of Logan. The biggest calming thing for anxiety is always logic, but sometimes logic needs to learn to trust gut feelings. Whether romantic or platonic (or even paternal), I see Virgil going to Logan when he needs a clearer perspective, and I think Logan has a great amount of respect for Virgil - Patton and Roman are impulsive and  removed from reality, while Virgil seems like he could understand Logan’s point of view. Overall, a loPlatonic 9/10, Romantic 7.5/10.vely pair. 

Platonic 9/10; they understand each other; somehow both are the protective Mom friend at the same time.

Romantic 7.5/10; both would have trouble expressing their “feelings” but if they both learned to communicate it would be beautiful.

Logicality  I’ve liked these two together since the beginning. Unfortunately, I think that lately we’ve seen that these two have some problems they need to work through first, especially on Logan’s end. I think that logic and morality/emotion are much more essential to the human mind than anxiety and creativity, and I think that Logan and Patton reflect that. A lot of people write pining/flirtatious Logicality, but I prefer that “old married couple” domestic aesthetic. I think Logan and Patton are incredibly protective of each other, but that leads to some barriers they need to break down. Logan is scared to be silly in front of Patton because Patton needs reigning in by somebody who is 100% logical, but sometimes Logan takes his authority and logic so seriously that he isn’t considerate of Patton. Meanwhile. Patton is lovingly pressuring Logan to admit that sometimes being silly is fun and important, because he wants Logan to be honest and unabashed about enjoying things. Unfortunately, they’re pushing each other in opposite directions. 

Platonic 8/10; this is probably the most romantic-leaning ship I have, so I’m biased.

Romantic 9/10; damn I love them so much but they have some communication issues to work out to be healthy. 

Logince Never seen these guys as a romantic ship. That said, I think the potential for a partnership is incredible. They’re a classic brains/brawn pair and I see them in an amazing fraternal/platonic relationship. Rather than enemies to lovers, these two are rivals to partners. If I was going to call any two sides each others’ “bros,” it would be these two. Logan is very lawful while Roman is very chaotic, but I think we see in “Fitting In” and “Why Do We Get Out of Bed in the Morning?” that these two have a lot in common: both are short-tempered, determined, resourceful, ambitious, strong leaders (maybe even a little self-righteous, arrogant, and stubborn). These two are both very dominant compared to Patton and Virgil - they both want to be in charge, and I think that would be detrimental in a romantic relationship. However, I think that as friends this would be friendly competition, pushing each other to be better. It’s another classic dynamic to see two characters who see each other as “the one to beat” but then realize that they could beat EVERYONE if they would just work together. 

Platonic 8/10; still some stuff they need to work out, but once they do they’ll be unstoppable.

Romantic 3/10; I just don’t see it, and I think their personalities wouldn’t be good for a romantic relationship because the communication isn’t there.

Moxiety Like Logince, this has never been a romantic ship for me. Patton is just obviously coded as “Dad” or “Best Friend” in every interaction BUT the thing that really gets me is that Virgil is just as protective of Patton as Patton is of him, which makes sense. Our Anxiety is in place not just to protect our physical body, but also our feelings, and Patton is Thomas’ heart. I feel like Patton and Virgil have each others’ full trust, and “Can Lying be Good?” really made this evident. When “Patton” acted strange, Virgil didn’t think “my friend is doing a bad thing,” he thought “this isn’t my friend.” He knows Patton that well. With Patton learning to accept his feelings, I think he and Virgil are huge supports for each other. I honestly think that while Roman and Logan were having drama for the last two videos, Patton and Virgil have just been having Best Friend time. Heck, is anything softer than these two? Villain-coding a character and then revealing their vulnerability by having them befriend the softest of puffballs is adorable. 

Platonic 10/10; they’re BEST FRIENDS you guys, look at them. Wouldja just LOOK at it?

Romantic 4/10; they have the communication and trust, but I think they’re so much better for each other as best friends. 

Prinxiety Ah, classic enemies to friends to lovers. I’ve never been a huge stan for this ship, but heck if it isn’t cute. It’s Tumblr goth bf and Instagram prep bf. I think their love languages would be very different, but if they could learn to communicate and respect their differences, the potential is there. I think that lately we’ve seen effort on both sides for these guys to include each other. Roman’s been kinder about his nicknames, which is a good start. Also, let’s face it: Virgil’s face when Roman changes in to his 2.0 outfit screams “I am gay.” I think no matter what, these two will bicker a bit, but it could range from something that’s an actual problem all the way to something more endearing; imagine an hour on the couch going back and forth about which Pixar movie is the best because neither will relent. Also, there’s something to be said for anxiety both encouraging and stifling creativity, and creativity both causing and relieving anxiety. There’s delicate balances there to be explored, especially when creativity, in Roman’s case, is loud and presentational. Romantic elements aside, I also like seeing these two as annoying brothers who deeply love each other but simultaneously piss each other off.  

Platonic 6/10; not my favorite, but bickering brothers or friends is still a very nice possibility. 

Romantic 7/10; come on, guys, it’s a fandom classic, and the enemies to lovers dynamic is just so fun.

Royality Excuse me but this is the most under-appreciated ship in this whole fandom. Two honest good boys who are filled to the brim with love? Two dudes who would 100% have compatible love languages? Two guys who would spoil each other with affection and tiny gifts? Hell yes hell yes hell yes. Romance and emotion go together, guys. These two would have more PDA than any other pairing because embarrassment? How dare anyone be embarrassed by TRUE LOVE? The only possible concern I can think of is that Patton is very giving while Roman is very egoistic, but I think we’ve seen that both of them would be very giving to a romantic partner. These two would be all about dramatic displays of affection, but they also would have their peaceful moments when they need them. Mostly I just see them creating things for each other and never letting anybody forget how much they love each other.

Platonic 8/10; good stuff, but this ship is very romantic-leaning in my eyes. However, a brotherly relationship is also an incredible idea. 

Romantic 9/10; as long as Patton takes care of himself and Roman learns to care about others, these two would be adorable.

LAMP (I’m assuming a LAMP where all four are in a relationship with the other three, but I know that there are other versions as well) I’ll be up front and admit that I prefer pairings to poly relationships in my ships, but let’s face it: LAMP is adorable. It has all the benefits of the other ships, but with third and fourth parties to balance out some of the cons. These guys are famILY and they are, in canon, the only “people” in each others’ lives. I don’t have much to say because this ship is essentially everything I’ve said before about the other ships. 

Platonic 10/10; famILY

Romantic 6/10; good stuff, but I have a personal preference for pairings; still great because they all complete each other.

Deceit Ships I’m not putting down people who like these ships; that’s your business. However, I’ve seen too many people get hurt, REALLY hurt, by dishonesty in their relationships to support these. Even if Deceit isn’t 100% a villain, which I can see, it still isn’t healthy to put a character who is all about lying into a relationship. The most important things in any relationship are honest communication and trust, and those are both things that aren’t compatible with Deceit. That said, I’ve seen some morally grey fics and headcanons about Deceit where he has some interactions with the other sides I quite like. Let’s face it, one way or another the other sides are stuck with Deceit, and I think he at least has the potential to be something other than an evil being. Whether canon will support these depictions of Deceit is TBD (totally believable, dude? No, to be determined). 

Platonic 2/10; I’ve seen some good stuff, but we have little canon material for Deceit; the other sides should be cautious while interacting with him.

Romantic 0/10; I have a personal relationship with dishonesty and manipulation that means I just can’t get behind these ships.