#and sprayed water all over the exact corner where all the electrical stuff and the one outlet in the dish pit is. COME ON MAN

[planet4546b]

almost started an electrical fire at work and it’s not even 8 am 😇

[astaroth1357]

The MC Accidentally Kisses the Brothers

Due to incredibly popular demand (and because it’s a cute prompt).

Lucifer

It was just a childish prank, but pretty much all of Satan’s pranks were childish at their core (even the more homicidal ones).

This one wasn’t even that bad in the grand scheme of things. The angry boi was just trying to see if he could get Lucifer to fall down the stairs...

...admittedly, saying it out loud makes it sound much more cruel than intended. But this is Lucifer we’re talking about. A tumble down a flight or two wouldn’t leave him too injured… Unfortunately for Satan, he wasn’t the only one who took a tumbling.

The plan was pretty simple, put an enchantment on the stairs to the Conference Hall, lay in wait, and trigger it right as Lucifer was leaving a meeting. He’s always the last to go, so it should have been foolproof.

But the MC hung back to leave with Lucifer that day and just so happened to jump forward right as Satan was timing his step… getting themselves thrown down along with him.

Fortunately for them both, the firstborn’s reflexes were astounding. He was already holding the MC in his demon form and cushioning their fall before they could even hit the first stair. And it was quite a long way down…

By the time they hit the bottom, Lucifer had them fully wrapped up in his wings and Satan couldn’t what had happened until they unfolded… whereupon he saw the MC laying on top of Lucifer with their lips far FAR too close together for his liking…

Yeah, that backfired pretty hard and Satan was left fuming over it for days… Not that Lucifer minded in the slightest.

Mammon

Sometimes when Mammon does his photoshoots he brings the MC along as one part cheerleader, one part pit crew. It’ll be their job to hold onto his stuff, make sure he has enough to drink, and generally stand there and be impressed by his awesomeness until they leave.

Well that day things had been going well… until a particularly nosy worker started hovering around the MC too much for Mammon’s liking.

He tried to put it past him, since he had a shoot to do and all, but he snapped about halfway through when the guy kept trying to force a conversation with the very not interested MC.

Oh, he was ready to tell him off. He made the photographer stop mid-shoot just so he could march over there himself and give that asshole a piece of his mind! He was going to absolutely tear him to shreds and then-!!

Okay, that didn’t exactly happen because right as he got up to the MC, ready to start shouting, our lovable moron tripped… again…

But unlike the first time, where he more or less face-planted the floor, this time he smacked lips first into a surprised MC in front of the jerk he was trying to scare off.

… Yeah. He meant to do that.

And that’s exactly how he played it off, keeping his lips right where they were and flipping the other guy off so he’d leave them alone (which, thankfully, he did).

Totally what he intended to do and he'll swear so to this day.

Leviathan

… how in the world do you mess up the Kabedon?

Levi had seen the move done hundreds of times before in anime. It’s a very simple concept: put someone up against a wall, put one of your hands by their head, and just lean. That’s it. Not rocket science.

Levi had been mentally preparing himself for this moment for days… He may or may not have even practiced this (very simple) move in his room countless times. He genuinely thought he was ready to try it on the MC.

So, on one of those rare days he went to RAD, he gave it a shot. He waited until he and the MC were walking alone together, got them up against the wall, annnnd…

...rather than touching the wall next to them, his hand completely missed any sort of hard surface because in his panic he stopped them right next to a blind corner…

Naturally, his body fell forward some but since there wasn’t that much space between them by that point he uh… he… well he now knows their preferred Chapstick.

No matter what the MC’s reaction ultimately was, he leapt away from them like he just licked an electric fence and bolted.

His embarrassment genuinely cannot be overstated... He practically broke a window in his attempt to get the hell out of there and back to his room, where he didn’t leave for three days straight… Poor Levi...

Satan

It started out as easily one of the best days of his life. 

The MC, the exchange students, and the Royal Court had all decided to surprise him on his birthday with a Devildom-style cat cafe… Kitties were on practically every surface around him! 

Admittedly, Satan had been pretty distracted throughout most of his time there. There were just so many kitties for him to see that he sort of forgot about the MC in the process…

So in order to get his attention a little, the MC thought it would be cute to pick up one of the furry bundles and hold it in front of their face, doing that little thing where you pretended to “talk” for the cat and even waved one of its little paws at him.

They hadn’t predicted that Satan would find the display utterly, heart-meltingly adorable...

He attempted to plant a kiss on top of the furry critter’s head at the exact time that the MC brought the cat down their face entirely.

It took Satan a second or two to register that his lips were not, in fact, on a cat. And when he pulled back to see the MC’s shocked expression, the full gravity of his actions smacked him in the face like a falling log…

Cue a flustered rush to apologize while the MC hid their face back behind the confused kitty… Getting an accidental kiss in front of the prince of Hell and literal angels was pretty dang embarrassing...

At least the incident was taken in good spirits by most of the people in attendance (minus Luke, who was desperately trying to give MC his bottle of holy water like it was pepper spray by that point). 

Though after that point, Satan noticed that his “guests” kept passive-aggressively giving him cats until he was literally so buried in fluff he could barely move… probably not related, though. Probably.

Asmodeus 

It was another party night with Asmo and the MC at the Fall having a good time.

Now, Asmo was no stranger to Demonus and other assorted demonic beverages. You could say his tolerance is decent enough, but get a few too many in him and he does start to get a little off…

And a drunk Asmo is a very troublesome Asmo. 

The MC, bless their heart, was pretty much playing the sober babysitter to their demon friend when Asmo decided that he HAD to leave the club and get cupcakes right then. Being the good person they were, MC agreed to go with him, as long as he promised to stay with them and not wander off…

But they somehow managed to lose him within three blocks from the club. All they did was check their phone for directions and the guy bailed!!

Little did the MC know, while they were frantically searching for him Asmo hadn’t run away completely… He had just decided it was a great idea to play hide-and-seek at 2am and hid behind a nearby building.

It was his drunken giggling that eventually gave away his position, but he jumped out from behind the corner right as the MC was rounding it. Naturally, they both to collided. If hugging hadn’t been an instinctual action to Asmo by they point, they would have fallen down…

All they did ended up doing instead was getting caught in lip-lock due to Asmo’s sudden vice-grip.

Apparently he laughed and laughed all the way back to the House but his memory of it is pretty hazy… He’ll just have to get the MC to reenact it with him a few dozen times, that ought to jog his memory!

Beelzebub 

The MC was helping Beel out with his workout yet again and things had been going well.

Since Beel is pretty much a one-man army, his weights and routine are usually waaay too advanced for any human to be able to handle. So the MC is less his spotter and more a casual supporter/motivator than anything else.

And motivation was just what they were trying to provide with a fun little experiment of theirs… 

Ever heard of the “carrot-on-the-stick”? Well they decided to try something like that… literally. Just replace the carrot with a roast ham!

They put ham on a fishing pole, set Beel up on a treadmill, and dangled it closer or farther away based on his speed. In theory, it wasn’t the worst idea in the world... but in practice…? 

Well. Someone should have told them not to stand in front of him during this little trial...

Their motivation experiment did work for a few minutes… But soon enough Beel’s stomach got the better of his (marginal) self-control. They just weren’t expecting him to leap over the top of the treadmill...!

The smart thing to do would have been to drop the fishing pole or to just keep it still so Beel could grab the meat, but the MC reflexively drew the pole back behind them… thus putting them right in Beel’s path instead.

And that’s how they ended up caged under lord knows how many pounds of Beelzebub, thankfully kissing their lips rather than trying to chew them off…

Needless to say, Beel climbed off of them, red as a cherry, and the MC let him have that ham before the two agreed to never try this again. Whoopsie!

Belphegor 

Belphie likes sleep. 

Belphie likes cuddles. 

Belphie likes cuddling in his sleep.

Really this was bound to happen eventually…

The MC and Belphie were having a nice nap together in the attic and there wasn’t anything nefarious about it. Just two people snuggled up together in the same bed.

...snuggled up very close together in the same bed.

So close, in fact, that when the MC finally woke up and rolled over some to reposition themselves, they felt the soft lips of their companion brush up against their own.

They, of course, had the appropriate reaction of shock and embarrassment to this… but this cheeky fucker just smirked at them and let one eye slip open.

“What…? Is that it? It’ll take more than that to wake me up…”

Never mind the fact he was awake the whole time...

He really should have expected that pillow to the head, but after they struck the first blow, it was on now.

Don't worry. As it would turn out, an impromptu pillow fight also wakes him up just fine. Who'd have guessed?

[xeppeli]

what do you recommend using for cleaning keycaps? my keyboard is dirty as fuck and i know i need to clean it soon but it's so dirty that idk where to start

i’m really glad you asked!

if your keyboard is that super super dirty and you’ve been using it for a long time, i would totally recommend taking it apart and cleaning each individual part of its assembly. the method used for mechanical and rubberdome keyboards are different so i’ll give you some instructions on each.

so basically, you’ll have to open up the chassis which is kind of a pain in the ass with a lot of new keyboards, especially gaming ones because companies like razor like to incorporate shitty anti-features in their products like hiding the fucking screws that hold the thing together so if you find screws on the back but find that the case still doesn’t come apart, try looking underneath the rubber pads if there are any. though, that implicitly states that you have to partially destroy your keyboard chassis in order to take it apart fully which is cheap but it’s the unfortunate reality of the situation. if you find the exact position of the screw hole through the rubber pad though, you could send a drillbit through it so you don’t have to remove the entire pad.

once you get the screws out, put them in a small bowl or a cup so you don’t lose track of them. the board probably won’t come apart just yet and you have to deal with the second worst thing in keyboard assemblies: plastic tabs and locks. try to pry apart a corner of the chassis that looks like it’s easy to open. most likely, the top left and top right corners of the bottom and the top parts of the chassis will separate but will still be mysteriously held together. get an old starbucks card or a guitar pick if you have either of those (you COULD use your credit card or driver’s license but it depends on whether or not you wanna risk scratching them) and run it in between the top plate and bottom plate of the chassis. if you did it right, you should hear some plastic clicks as you run it along and if you do it all around the keyboard, it should come apart completely and this is where the method differs between rubberdome and mechanical keyboards.

INGREDIENTS: phillips head screwdriver, possibly a drill with drillbits, old credit card/starbucks card/guitar pick, compressed air, isopropyl alchohol, q-tips, disposable face washing pads, dish soap, warm (NOT HOT) water, a kitchen brush or sponge

FAIRLY MODERN MECHANICAL KEYBOARD:

so when you finally take the topmost plate of the chassis off, you should have better access to your keycaps, each of which will need to be taken off individually. i strongly recommend you get a wire puller on ebay since they’re designed specifically to not damage the stems of your keyswitches when removing the caps. though if you’re impatient like me and don’t have any keycap puller at all, i recommend you use that aforementioned starbucks card and try and carefully VERY carefully flicking off the keycaps with a corner of the card. be very careful because if you force it too much, you may end up with a broken keyswitch stem which is more trouble to fix than it’s worth. start with the unstabilized keycaps like the function keys and work your way along the board. the longer, stabilized keys like enter and shift can be removed with the same method but you have to be even more careful. put all of the keycaps in a pile somewhere for later, preferrably close to both parts of your chassis.

now that all the keycaps are off, you can spray the shit out of the mounting plate with compressed air (if you bought your mechanical keyboard pre-assembled from a well-known manufacturer you’re most likely going to have a mounting plate on which are all of your switches) and it’ll get all the board chow out. if you spilled stuff on your keyboard before, you can take some isopropyl alchocol, put a little bit on a q-tip and wipe away any sticky stuff (if you send me an ask or reply to this post with a cum joke you will be banned). once that’s finished, go to your kitchen sink and start to run some warm water through each part of the chassis. don’t make it hot since it could warp the plastic if that’s what your chassis is made out of. then, when it’s warm, you can scrub it with a brush and dish soap like it’s a plate you eat off of. since there are most likely little holes in these parts, i recommend you flick them really hard so the centrifugal force forces the water out. let it dry for a long time, i’d say 24 hours just to be safe.

while both parts of the chassis are drying, take a big deep bowl for like popcorn or s/t, fill it with warm water (NOT HOT) and squirt dish soap in it once. make sure it’s just a squirt and not a whole bunch since it’s annoying to get the bubbles out of the keycap holes. if you do get bubbles inside though, you can run some cold water through them and they’ll pop. a neat little trick i learned from foods class in grade 10. anyway, let them take a bath for a while. i’d say a couple hours. if you’re at work or school and leave them in the morning, they should be good by the time you come back. when they’re done, take them out and flick them a couple times for the same reason you did the chassis.

when everything is all dried up, you can put it back together. the top and bottom part of the chassis should snap together and you can put your screws back in!

RUBBERDOME KEYBOARD:

the chassis disassembly is basically the same thing as the mechanical keyboard. the only thing is, the keycaps are likely to still be attached to the top part of the chassis. it’s possible to snap them out so if you want to do that to clean the keycaps individually, you can, but you can just spray the fuck out of it with compressed air if you’re lazy or impatient with the soaking thing. there should be no electrical components in the top part of the chassis so you could also put it in the dishwasher on a low heat setting if your machine has it which is something i’ve tried with successful results but just to be safe, i don’t advise it. the rubber dome sheet can be just washed under water and dish soap. as far as i know, there is no ingredient in either that’ll damage this thing. like with the chassis, make sure to use warm water instead of hot since you don’t want to deform the thin rubber. i seriously doubt the plastic membranes would be dirty but if they are, you probably wanna run a disposable face washing pad over it with the tiniest bit of isopropyl. if you can manage to get all of the electronic parts out of the bottom part of the chassis you can clean it like you did the top part.

i THINK that should be it.