#and sorry to them bc this shit blows. yikes

[skrunksthatwunk]

mildly frustrated at the ppl in my tiny little french class who're like "okay I'm done,, man that was sooo easy" when they literally lived in france for multiple years. like yes i imagine this wouldn't be very difficult when you're fluent in the language. the hell

[zai-doodles]

Ok ok last question then I’ll stop bothering you lol (but I eagerly look forward to anything you will say in the future about fairytail!)

I think I got your thoughts on Nalu, but what about other ships? You said Gajeel and Levy are your fav ship, could you tell us more why? What about Gray x Juvia? Do you have a least favorite ship?

(And don’t be sorry for rambling a lot/your posts being long! I really enjoy reading your thoughts!)

bestie i literally love u i never have the chance to post my ft hc stuff im THRIVING

aight so im going to make enemies with this post i can feel it in my bones gjkfdhgsfdkj

however i just want to say if u like these ships thats completely fine and if you read them diffrently than i do thats also dope

so lets start positive!! i LOVE gajevy sm its so perfect i just ljdghfkjd

no listen like the thing that gets me abt gajevy is how it elevates gajeel as a character SO MUCH and gives levy so much agency at the same time, like u cant tell me ft would have embraced gajeel the way they did if levy didnt CHOOSE to forgive gajeel in some capacity and like fuck imagine ur GAJEEL in this situation like bro wakes up everyday and this is just his life

gajeel lost metalica at a young age, and (i dont remember too much of canon but im pretty sure its implied he just kinda fucked around until phantom tropue picked him up which yikes) like this CHILD was on his own most of his formative years and then got picked up by a super shitty abusive group of ppl and he just LEARNED to blend in, like yea metalica made him kind of a punk but he was a KID so during those years he was alone he probably just closed himself off to survive and learned to prioritize himself over everybody else and to do that it takes a level of desensitizing urself to others pain

and like ok again im playing hard and fast with canon but i THINK its implied he like, had done a lot of bad shit with them or whatever right? like what he did to levy and fairy tail wasn't NEW, so when the events in canon happen and he ends up at fairy tail, in my mind that's the FIRST TIME he has to face how HIS ACTIONS DIRECTLY HURT SOMEONE

and not only thats but someone who OBJECTIVELY DIDN'T DESERVE IT

like ugh gajeel just,, having to learn to let himself care but also it fucking sucks bc it just makes it set in more and more what a bad person he is (he isnt but he thinks he is) THEN FUCKING LEVY PULLS UP AND JUST?? IS THE BEST???

she literally blows thro all his expectations of her bc at this point i think hes use to dealing with ppl being afraid of him bc that ssomething he understands and control, what he DOESNT understand is her being NICE to him and it makes him RESPECT her and its so out of no where that by the time the GMG roles around and gajeel has fully accepted the fact that he indeed has emotions like everyone else, ONLY TO HAVE TO FACE LEVY BEING SCARED OF HIM AGAIN

learning to put others needs above his own and being empathetic in his own fucked up way

ok enough positivity time to make ppl mad

gonna link my juvia is a lesbian post here bc it sums up a LOT of my feelings on gruvia but the tldr is that my personal hc is that juvia is a lesbian with a serious case of comp het from trying to fit in with other kids growing up and it literally was just never corrected until she got to fairy tail and actively started to form friendships

the main reason i dislike gruvia is that it paints gray as the one who needs to change in order to accept juvias feelings and not just cuz he needs to grow as a person and learn to allow himself to be vunrable.

like grays arc doesnt ONLY center around juvia but its a big part of it and juvias growth CENTERS around gray and we can talk about the the borderline misogynist idea of having a female character whos damn near whole identity is her feelings for a man where she never grows or learns meaningfully but instead just very slowly chills out more so from being sidelined than growth but i digress i just dont like them

last is jerza,, i just dont like em,, jellal is really boring in my opinion and he had a lot of potential but meh? his redemption is neat and his history with erza has potential but i feel like the point of erzas arc is about growth and moving on and while i think her and jellal can still be friends and have each others back she still has so much healing to do after tower of heaven

idk i dont see a lot wrong with jerza i just feel like its a lil bland and not my cup of tea

and yes queer platonic nalu is my life id die for them actually and i have more stuff about natsus abandonment issues and how they carry into his relationships with ppl but imma stop bc this post is long jgkfhgdjhfdjk

tldr: i love gajevy, actively dislike gruvia, very meh about jerza, love qpp nalu

[princesssmars]

being the the allen triplet

platonic!geoff allen x fem!reader | platonic!viv allen x fem!reader

a/n: love how i had this show on my netflix list for almost two years then i started it and found out it's been canceled yasss. but I can sense that fics for it have been lacking so who better to write some. spoilers for october faction! also havent watcged the show in a few months so if some facts seem wonky im sorry 🧍🏽‍♀️

ever since you were a toddler, you always felt...different

it's not like anyone else in your grade jet-setted off to a new country or city every year

but it wasn't just that. it was almost like you saw the world differently than other kids

it was almost like the world was magical, and not just like in your favorite bed time stories and artoons

like your siblings you ecel in your chosen craft. viv is an artist, geoff is social, and you have a fondness for music.

but also your intrest in weaponry, starting when you founr one of your mothers handguns when you were 10 years old

luckily they had trained you some gun safety and common sense, so instead of nearly blowing your brains out you just admired it, eventually asking for them to start giving you lessons.

you had a pretty good relationship with your siblings

obviously sometimes youd get on each others last nerves but that comes with being a sibling

but at the end of the day you were there for each other no matter what

there were multiple instances where someone would pick on the twins and youd get in trouble for saying something nasty in retaliation 😁

as kids youd have the time of your lives goofing off and sneaking candy and snacks behind your grandmothers back when she had to babysit

and then when the stress of moving was wearing you down, geoff and viv would cheer you (and honestly themselves) up by exploring and checking out the local attractions

as you get older that "magical" feeling you got as a kid got stronger and more intense until your parents started upping your meds. odd.

eventually your parents move you again, except this time to your dads shitty little hometown upstate. great.

they give you and viv the same old lecture about being more social making more friends bla bla bla. you mock them from the back seat causing viv and geoff to laigh and nearly getting you in trouble.

fighting with who gets the better room. its not you 😐

that wake. yikes.

you mostly stayed on the sidelines, avoiding the annoying kids viv and geoff were entertaining for whatever reason.

eventually one came down for a drink and pissed you off. your vision went hazy for a second and you somehow spit of the knowledge that her fathers infidelity was leading up to her parents divorce. whoops.

so now you and your twins are the "freaks". typical.

not everything is horrible though, your grandmother is staying and is actually pretty cool

but when it comes to the first day of school? literal hell

the stereotypical jock and mean girls that bully geoff and viv reapectfully also try to come for you but you shut that shit down real quick.

which of course leads to isolation most of the day. fun. but seeing geoff spit out that tidbit of the teachers cheating wife was hilarious

you dont know how the hell he knew that but

then the scene on the bus

it was only for a second, maybe even a tenth of that but you felt something. you saw something.

and looking to your right, seeing your siblings looking back at you, you know they saw it too.

god, this place just kept getting weirder by the day.

ta da. i noticed how there was like no fanfiction for this show after i finished it and so i had to step up i guess. im most likely gonna rewatch the show and continue this bc i love the little harlow family. thanks for reading <3

[1tsnoya]

HI love can you do a HC where the reader is in like a 'team slumber party" w the whole Karasuno vbc bc hONESTLY my heart is so soft for that idea like they're all jus vibing 😭😭 love my babies so much

IMPORTANT | a/n: i believe that i’m shadowbanned so my message history disappeared and my posts will probs slack for a bit >:( pls don’t mind </3 super sorry babes ! hopefully it gets resolved soon

✧･ﾟkarasuno sleepover✧･ﾟ headcanons

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* :･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

↳ it was like 2 in the morning and the gc with the volleyball club was blowing up

↳ everyone was awake and it was just CHAOS

↳ so it made you wonder — wtf would a giant sleepover with us all be like

↳ so u asked just that in the gc

↳ the responses were...

tsuki: no way

yams: cmon it’d be so much fun!!

kageyama: sure

hinata: LETS DO IT

noya: FUCK IT UPPP

tanaka: YUH GET INTO IT

daichi: sounds interesting

tsuki: fine

suga: i’m down!

asahi: me too!

yachi: i’m scared

kiyoko: it’ll be fine yachi

↳ so it was scheduled for friday night at 6pm

↳ and when everyone got there WOW it was so loud there was so much going on

↳ everyone finally calmed down when pizza was ordered hksksjhs

↳ a debate about pineapple on pizza went down

↳ HUGE SUPER MARIO PARTY GAME HOLY SHIT

↳ there were 12 of you (including yourself) and max was 8 players so kiyoko, yachi, asahi, and tanaka sat out

↳ tanaka was yelling at noya and hyping him up though and so was asahi at suga

↳ hinata picked diddy, kageyama picked the goomba, tsuki picked bowser jr, yamaguchi picked shy guy, suga picked yoshi, daichi picked donkey kong HSHSJJSH, and noya picked wario obvi

↳ so. much. SCREAMING

↳ tanaka: “NOYA OHMY- dont fuck this up you need to roll 4- LETS GO BABY LETS GET A-”

↳ he rolled a 4 pure luck and him and tanaka started running around screaming “LETS GOOOOO”

↳ tsuki: “you have 0 stars”

↳ noya: “wtf i’m still gonna win-”

↳ daichi was clueless at first but then really started getting into it

↳ suga was hyping everyone up but was super determined to win

↳ kageyama had the WORST luck. he could have sworn that the game was against him

↳ hinata made fun of him HAA

↳ SUPER CLOSE GAME BETWEEN SUGA AND TSUKISHIMA

↳ tsuki won are u fr?

↳ after another round, tanaka and noya suggested spin the bottle

↳ sigh

↳ they obviously were hoping to kiss kiyoko

↳ she played ONE round. ONE

↳ landed on yachi ofc<3

↳ SO MUCH YELLING WHEN IT WAS JUST A QUICK AND SMALL PECK BETWEEN THEM

↳ yachi was so nervous it was hilarious

↳ OH AND THEN IT LANDED ON TSUKISHIMA AND YAMAGUCHI

↳ tsuki did it like it was NOTHING

↳ cue the screaming. again

↳ after a few more turns, it started getting late so asahi took some uno cards out of his bag

↳ everybody changed into their jammies and sat in a circle

↳ hinata was wearing some old tee from grammar school as his pj shirt and the first and second years FLAMED him

↳ anyways. uno game. right

↳ tell me why daichi got the worst cards every turn

↳ hinata was peeking at other people’s cards

↳ kageyama was pissed off by how many cards he kept having to pick up

↳ so. many. plus 4 cards. from suga

↳ but ohohoh he got some karma

↳ yamaguchi placed down a +4 to give to yachi (he picked it up and was s o s o r r y) then she placed another one down to give to hinata, THEN HE PLACED ANOTHER +4 AND LASTLY TANAKA ADDED 4 AND GAVE IT TO SUGA

↳ 16 fucking cards- he was scared

↳ yamaguchi won <3

↳ and then asahi whipped out another game

↳ family feud....

↳ you can already tell how bad this is gonna get

↳ team #1 consisted of: hinata, kageyama, daichi, yachi, nishinoya

↳ team #2: tsukishima, asahi, suga, kiyoko, tanaka

↳ yamaguchi wanted to be the steve harvey of the night so you helped him keep track of points

↳ in the gc, asahi texted a msg for someone to bring a button

↳ tanaka brought a “nut” one 💀

↳ you placed it in the middle of the table. boom. what could go wrong?

↳ round one began...

↳ tanaka vs daichi

↳ yams: “name something you find sand in after a day at the beach”

↳ the fucking button SLAMMED AGAINST THAT TABLE AND SOUNDED LIKE IT WAS GOING TO BREAK

↳ tanaka: “MY ASS-”

↳ the GIGGLING THAT ESCAPED EVERYONE’S MOUTHS-

↳ daichi was just “:O um. my turn-or?”

↳ noya: did he get the point?

↳ kageyama: he is on the OTHER TEAM

↳ hinata: i guess but it was a good answer..

↳ i’m pretty sure you can already guess what team won

↳ a few more rounds were played and it was like midnight so you put a movie on

↳ tanaka noya and hinata sat in the front, laughing at every single thing going on

↳ kageyama: “hinata if u don’t shut ur FUCKING MOUTH”

↳ yamaguchi: “can you raise the volume?”

↳ tsukishima: “no they just need to shut the fuck up before i go over there and-”

↳ a pillow was thrown...

↳ shit went down..

↳ asahi: “come on guys let’s just watch the movie”

↳ daichi threw a pillow at him

↳ cue the surprised pikachu face @ daichi

↳ yachi was sCared

↳ so her, kiyoko, and you snuck off to the bathroom while chaos erupted between the boys

↳ kiyoko: “okay when they all fall asleep, i want to mess with them”

↳ yachi: “are you sure that they won’t kill us-?”

↳ OHOHOHO a plan was devised

↳ you three waited until the screaming died down a bit and then walked out

↳ feathers everywhere, uno cards all over the floor, and the nut button was smashed...

↳ wtf happened you left to the bathroom for like 6 minutes-

↳ “ummm...”

↳ ���so...”

↳ “bed..time?”

↳ it was 1:30 in the morning and i’m sure you can already tell who was wide awake

↳ daichi, kageyama, asahi, yamaguchi, and tsukishima were trying to get ready to sleep

↳ you and the girls were trying to stay awake for your little plan

↳ hinata, noya, tanaka, and suga were just... wired

↳ yeah did suga surprise u? nope not me. that boy is chaotic at sleepovers don’t @ me

↳ they set up a smash game (while the others were sleeping) so tsuki woke back up to beat everyones ass-

↳ it started getting loud until daichi got up like - “shut✨the fuck✨up✨”

↳ so everyone quieted down HSJSHS

↳ you joined in on the game and teams were formed

↳ you and tsuki vs hinata, noya, and suga

↳ tsuki: “just pls don’t fuck this up-”

↳ you and him won😫obvi

↳ at the end when it was only tsuki and suga, he kept RUNNING AWAY FROM HIM

↳ suga was just — :p u cant catch me

↳ and when he did.. yikes..

↳ everyone eventually fell asleep

↳ except you, kiyoko, and yachi

↳ kageyama grumbles in his sleep, daichi sleeps like a serial killer, suga was just-he looked like an angel, asahi was lowkey breathing loud, noya and tanaka were SPOONING, hinata kicks in his sleep, tsuki sleeps with his headphones in?? and yamaguchi turns around every second

↳ it was time for the plan nehehehe

↳ kiyoko put makeup on kageyama, tanaka, and asahi

↳ yachi started doodling on daichi’s, noya’s, and yamaguchi’s faces

↳ you put an alarm set to go off in the morning and blast ‘deepthroat’ by cupcakke on tsuki’s phone ***yes he still had his headphones in

↳ and you all put some creepy clown doll right next to hinata’s face so that it could be the first thing he wakes up to

↳ next thing you know it’s 7AM and all you hear is “hUMPME FUCK ME-”

↳ tsuki was the first one awake and was already grumpy

↳ he thought that it was noya and tanaka’s idea to mess with him so he like shoved them awake

↳ “cupcakke? really?” and then he stopped to look at their faces

↳ yachi drew some fucked up shit on noya’s face and tanaka was wearing red lipstick with pink eyeshadow

↳ “it’s too early for this...” HE LEFT TO THE BATHROOM LMFAO

↳ oh god and then everyone woke up

↳ you and the girls were fake sleeping and listening to it all go down

↳ breakfast was.. interesting

↳ hinata was traumatized from that clown incident (he scream sounded like it came from his little sister) the boys were trying to rub off their makeup and it was smudged all over their faces, and the other boys were just ... trying to ignore the drawings on them

↳ ofc yachi drew a mustache on daichi

↳ oh and noya was trying to play the drawings off as tattoos😔

↳ you don’t even wanna know about breakfast-

↳ everyone agreed on pancakes and well...

↳ batter was everywhere and the smoke detector went off

[sadhaa]

ok. okay. Okay. OKAY. THOUGHT

Fic idea: Death Song of Uther Pendragon. BUT REVOLVING AROUND MERLIN.

Like the potential for this is amazing. ANGST. ROMANCE. MAGIC REVEAL. IDIOTS IN LOVE. WE HAVE IT ALL(Note: I had this thought in the shower where all great thoughts come from. dont judge)

Ok lets set the scene:

1. Lancelot is alive bc yes

2. Arthur let Gwen go to be with Lance bc he realizes it was mean of him to hold her back from someone she loved. 

3. Arthur has feelings for Merlin. Like love. yike. scary. 

4. Merlin over the years has a few pieces of parchment where he has written down all his “crimes”, or times he uses magic. He has another piece of parchment where he writes a letter to Arthur about why he didnt tell him and how sorry he was. Merlin did this cause he felt guilty and needed to find someway to cope. 

OK ON TO THE THOUGHT:

So, beginning starts the same with the almost burning and getting the horn. check. done. 

They go back, Arthur broods, hides the idea from Merlin.

they go off on their little adventure, he talks to Uther

NOW HERES WHERE THINGS GET SPICY

AND NOT IN THE SEXY WAY

Uther knows about Merlin’s magic bc he sees everything over Camelot right? He knew about the knights (and in canon he knew about Gwen) So this man has to know about Merlin’s magic considering this dumb little magic twink has ZERO self preservation instinct. and Uther. is. pissed.

So he says “you let common men become knights, there is magic in the heart of Camelot!” much angry. very dick. so Uther.  

Arthur: shock and sad. Who could it be?

commence the looking back and shit show that Arthur is about to cause.

CAMPING SCENE! but Arthur doesn’t tell Merlin about the magic comment bc he doesn’t want Merlin to worry and if Merlin found out, he may become a target.

Back in Camelot everything is fine until it isnt. cause its Camelot. and nothing is ever fine there.

BUT. NOW. 

the ghosting that Uther is doing is now solely directed at Merlin.

candelabra doesnt fall on the table. It fucking gets yeeted at Merlin. M nearly gets crushed under that thing and the knights all freak out.

cause we all know that the knights adopted Merlin at this point

M gets taken to Gaius and he concludes that M is bruised and lightly concussed. (i dont want my boy too hurt)

Next the axe. M helps some of the knights with their armor and as he is the last one, he cleans up a bit. suddenly axe yeets itself and M gets a scratch all down his arm

sad and in pain Merlin

Now, M thinks A did something sus

u can tell I played alot of Among Us lately

also how does one spell suspicicious?

he confronts him, A brushes him off. bc he love his daddy. But A looks kinda like longingly and concerned for M bc he knows that M gets hurt quite a bit, but never like this.

M leaves and cue the torches and fire sequence.

*insert pic of Edna with fire in her goggles* *Uther is Edna, but more evil*

Gwen is walking down the hall when she notices the smoke and call for help.

our OG6 come running and find M, unconscious, bleeding and suffocating.

A freaks the hell out. 

M’s room: he is on the bed and everyone, including OG6 and Gwen are in there with Gaius and M.

Main Q: Why would Uther try to kill M when he appointed M in the first place!

Gaius realizes. Lance realizes. oh shit. He knows

Lance and Gaius tell them and there are some mixed reactions.

Leon, kinda suspected it from the beginning but he didn’t have enough evidence to back it up

Absolute shock to Gwaine, Elyan, Percival and Gwen

ARTHUR IS FUCKING DEVASTATED. He has been lied to and cue the betrayal and manpain.

Suddenly the attacks on M make more sense

candelabra: being buried alive, asphyxiation.

ok i am borrowing this idea from the author of the amazing fic These Breaths We Breathe series where Uther finds out about M and buries him alive

yall should read it. 

author is kayura_sanada

Axe: beheading

torches: the pyre

the symbolism here is prob the smartest thing I have ever done. like y couldn’t i think of this back in soph year english? 

Uther was threatening M and trying to kill him

Arthur is conflicted so Gaius gives him Merlin’s list of “crimes” and the letter. All of the others leave and Gwaine implies that he would fight A for M. 

Cue emotional transformation and realization.

Arthur flashes back to Isolde and Tristan and realizes that letting Gwen go wasn’t that bad, but losing M? that would fucking kill him. He can imagine a future without Gwen. But M? Nah man. They are two sides of the same coin. two halves of a whole idiot. two braincells of the same dumbass brain. they love each other. A needs M. A loves M.

So he plans to confront his father

he gets the gang and they all set out to find Uther. 

They all tell him how they are accepting of M and why and that A should tell M he loves him when this is over.

A is touched and is glad that M has this family who loves him so much

now fighting Uther

right before he blows the horn, Uther says “Merlin has Magic!” and A goes “Yeah, I know and I love him” and yeets him back to Narnia (or where ever these ghost people go) 

M wakes up to everyone knowing, breaksdown crying and feels loved

jump ahead a week: A hasn’t told M how he feels. He is doing something else instead and it is a surprise.

Leon walks in during that week and asks what hes doing. Arthur freaks out, hides the thing and blurts out “I’m writing Poetry”

Leon has never heard such bs in his life. But he gives up and walks away.

2 weeks later, A tells M he loves him by repealing Magic ban. and they live happily ever after.

yay. 

Can someone write this pls? Like im still planning to write the long fic idea i had from my last post, but can someone write this? I would love them forever. 

Bonus: Ygraine freaking WHOOPS Uther’s ass and loves M alot.

tl;dr: death song of U Pendragon with M, magic reveal, angst and Leon deserving a raise.

[sweet-potatoq]

ok i really wanna dive into this xicheng gymnast au ive got going on because its self-idulgent a really cool idea and ive been really interested in gymnastics recently (little angst bc im a weak bitch)

here are jiang cheng, nie huaisang, wei wuxian designs; ill add more as i draw

so jc, nhs, and wwx are popular rhythmic gymnasts and are a fan favourite in the fandom (?)

jc loves the ribbon but can also do club and rope; nhs does ball, ribbon and club; wwx can do all five (ribbon, ball, hoop, club, and rope) but he likes doing hoops the most

the three of them are pretty close since they have time to chitchat at the small louge area for resting; theyre also often called the powerpuff girls (ppg) since they wear red, green and purple (ik bubbles is blue but just roll w it)

jc has a no. 1 fan, like the biggest jc fan ever, and its a famous musician, lan xichen; literally his social media is filled with jc photos, fancams, and videos (sometimes he posts selfies with his jc merch that me probably made on his own)

ppg knows about lxc and teases jc about him so much

"did you see his face lighting up once it was jc's turn? he even brought a handmade light up banner for him omg"

jc is both flattered and annoyed (mostly because he gets teased a lot for it) but every gift lxc gives him (read: yeets on the floor) is treasured

its mostly bouquets of lotus flowers and teddy bears (there are times when he throws heavily a box safely wrapped in thick bubble wrap and tons and tons of tape and inside is just cute bracelets, necklaces and rings)

secret: jc wears it under his clothes and costume

secret secret: it sometimes comes out and lxc screams about it on twt

anyways, one day at a competition, ppg makes a bet that if jc gets a score higher than 18 in ribbons, then he has to go to lxc and ask him out

jc is torn bc he really wants a high score but is too shy to ask lxc out

spoiler: jc gets a 18.5 and now he has to approach lxc

jc's too shy to do it in person so he reaches out thru twt and dms him a

"hey uh i know ur like a big fan and i appreciate ur gifts but sometimes they look expensive anyways can i treat u to dinner to compensate"

LXC FREAKS OUT AND MESSAGES EVERYBODY HE KNOWS

lwj: do it, nmj: coward accept it, jgy: once in a lifetime opportunity, fucking do it pussy

spoiler #2: lxc accepts and jc takes him to a nice restaurant on a nice night out

its super awkward at first but once lxc takes over the conversation (mostly gushing about jc's techniques and routines) they find a nice flowing convo

"i had a great time" "me too!! im honoured to have had a dinner with my idol" "gay panic"

jc and lxc keep talking thru twt dms until they finally exchange numbers

"huan-ge" "CHENG CHENG 😭🥺💖"

they eventually go out again, and again, and again, until finally lxc gets brave and asks him out ON A DATE!!! as if the other hangouts arent dates 🙄

now theyre B O Y F R I E N D S ~ ✨

but secret bc jc is still new to everything and is lowkey overwhelmed by it, lxc agrees and does his best to make jc more comfortable and make him feel loved

they do fight over how jc's still being cold after months of dating and the fact that their relationship is still a secret doesnt help AT ALL

after numerous fights about it, lxc breaks and unloads all of HIS insecurity

"ive been feeling like ive forced you into this relationship, that my love and adoration for you made you feel as if you needed to compensate for that like how you did when we first went out. you've been cold and reject my affection and it hurts me even though i know you've said that you're just not used to it, but jiang cheng, we've been dating for 8 months now and i was so sure that by this point you'd be more comfortable. i love you a-cheng but i feel like you dont love me back."

something in the lines of that but you get me right?

ANYWAYS lxc keeps his distance from jc and jc does the same bc shit he feels bad that he made lxc think and feel that way

ppg notice that jc has been acting weird and asks him abt it and jc opens up to them about his relationship with lxc and ppg just go from 👁️👄👁️ to 😬☹️😞 because yikes

nhs and wwx obvi helps him brainstorm ideas as to how to apologize and show lxc that jc truly loves him the same way but theyre so busy with training and practicing for finals wHEN SUDDENLY NHS GOES

"what if... you dressed... in a blue and white costume... and wore the gifts he gave..."

BOOM jc gets the same costume from his routine tailored in white and blue and gets a pearlescent ribbon, shining blue to purple and wears pretty cloud earrings and replaces his zidian ring with a matching cloud ring

he goes to his finals in that costume AND ALL HIS FANS RIOT

"holy SHIT jc is wearing blue???" "what happened to the old costume??" "its the same one but in blue??" "hes so handsome tho"

lxc is obvi there at the finals because he is first and foremost, jc's no. 1 fan

nmj and lwj are with lxc bc lxc needs emotional support, and with the added bonus of jc's beautiful costume and accessories, he just LOSES it and cries on the spot bc hes a softie

jc performs his routine, gets an unbelievable high score and wins a gold medal (deserve) and on the podium, he asks for a mic and tells the whole fucking world his feelings for lxc

"ive been dating lan xichen, my no. 1 fan, for 8 months and its been the best 8 months of my entire life. its been a secret to everybody we both know because i was too scared to say something, too scared that everybody would reject it and judge us. but now that i realized it has put a strain on our relationship, it made me think. why should i worry about this? why should i be scared? why, when i have him by my side to support me and love me? im so sorry huan-ge that ive made you feel unloved and unwanted because i do love you. i love you so fucking much and it hurts me that you feel this way because of me. i hope that you're here somewhere in the audience to hear this, maybe not since we're not okay, but know that ill do better. ill let myself love you wholy and freely from now on if you'll let me."

cue jc crying and lxc also crying (harder) and probably the whole world crying with them even lwj lets out a tear or two

cue cue lxc fucking jumping out the barracade, fall on his ass, running towards the podium, tripping and landing on his face, standing up and limping, then tackling jc and almost making them fall over bc lxc is chaotic like that

cue cue cue lots of crying and hugging and screaming from the audience and probably the medical team rushing in because holy shit lxc did that and jc is still hitting him for almost dying??

social media fucking blows up with numerous photos of jc, videos of jc's speech, photos and videos of lxc and jc and loads of support messages for the two of them

it ends with lxc posting numerous selfies of him and jiang cheng being lovey dovey with a really cheesy caption that probably goes like

"HE HAS NO RIGHT TO MAKE MY KOKORO GO DOKI DOKI" or "i love one (1) man and its my boyfriend- oops i meant fiance"

the end sksks theres other couples in this like wangxian and nieyao but really minor so i didnt put them in BUT how is this story? is it worth writing out? or is it ok as is?

[trulymadlysydney]

Syd bestie holy shit I am so confused with Shannon. I know we already talked about this but how could she say it’s not that big of deal after josh walked off when she literally just made it into a big deal? Damn she is something else isn’t she. Like honestly I was with josh on that one bc she was just being so unreasonable and didn’t listen to what he had to say.

The challenge itself also brought some surprising revelations. Like when they asked how many sexual partners the boys had? We now know it’s not Jeremy so it has to be one of the girls. But I have no clue which one. Maybe Olivia? I don’t know the search for the answer is exhausting lol. And when javonny said he would want to be coupled with Aimee?? Damn I kinda ship that like they wouldn’t work out but they’re my two fave islanders so a girl can dream. And then javonny saying that will and kyra spend all their time kissing instead of getting to know each other?? A bitch was SCREAMING the shade. I love that man

OPERATION HEART ATTACK? Bro that is going to end so badly for both of them. Like in cash’s case cinco already chose Trina over her and as harsh as it sounds I think she just needs to move on. And Olivia? I think that girl has gone off the rails lmao. When they were talking about what turns them on and she said that will was looking right at her? Like they were standing in a group obviously he’s gonna make eye contact with people in the circle. I understand that when you like someone you think everything is a sign that they like you too but will has never shown interest in her besides during the challenge today. Am I being too mean here? I just deadass think she’s seeing things when she says will likes her back or is sending her signs or whatever.

Also I don’t think it was wise for cash to tell Shannon about their plan. We all now Shannon lives for the drama and loves to play both sides. Plus Trina is her bestie so there’s almost no way she isn’t gonna tell her right? And I really hope that cash and Olivia tell Trina and kyra what they’re doing especially bc cash is so big on respect and if they just go behind their backs to graft… yikes talk about messy. But with all that being said do you think cinco or wills head will turn? I don’t think either of them will switch to be honest and then it’ll just be bad for Olivia and cash. I just think this whole operation is a horrible idea lol.

Okay and I think we’ve talked about who we’re voting for but I voted for Aimee and Wes obviously bc they’re my faves. But who do we think is gonna be in the bottom? I say Jeremy and florita and Trina and cinco.

Last thing! So casa amor usually happens half way through the season and since next week is week 3 I think casa amor is gonna happen sometime next week! Can’t wait for that drama!- E

OKAY HELLO I just watched AND I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS

First off, Shannon and Josh are so weird to me d;flskdj like I hate to say it but I DO get where she's coming from, but after he got defensive she was like "woah no wait you're overreacting ew!" (I mean she's a Pisces so... that explains it kldjafl;skj) But yeah she didn't even try to understand where he was coming from. That whole thing was so stupid lol.

The challenge was MESSY. Dude I went to the Love Island US instagram and people are deadass like OMG SO CINCO'S THE VIRGIN? Like... very obviously missing his joke kdjf;lksd like the DAY he came in he admitted to breaking a bed during sex hello. I still cannot for the LIFE OF ME figure out who the virgin is lmfao. If anyone I would've said Roxy but she wasn't even around for that lol. Also PLEASE I LOVE JAVONNY SO MUCH DKLFJSD;LKJ I LOVE WILL AND KYRA BUT HE'S RIGHT.

Also... I'm going to say something mean but you said something similar in the next paragraph you sent so I'm just gonna say it kdjf;lsdkj f I was legit shocked that miss Olivia was such a hot commodity among the men. Like I'm so sorry, she's so pretty and so fun but ... compared to the other girls I feel like she's boring ;akjfs;dlk 🥴

I agree, Operation Heart Attack is SO stupid and it's going to end up blowing up in both of their faces. Cash... love her to death but she neeeeeds to move on. She and Olivia both have already gotten too many people involved in this shit. We know Shannon is the QUEEN pot stirrer, there's NO way she's going to keep her mouth shut about this. As for Olivia and Will... its ridiculous lmfao like Kyra isn't an idiot, Will isn't giving secret signs. I know what it's like to like someone and think that everything is a sign but Olivia... if you don't leave Will and Kyra the fuck alone dlkajfd;slk.

See this is kind of what I was saying about why Cash is starting to annoy me. Like you said, she's SO big on respect and yet she's out here doing this? She really needs to stop thinking she's the main character of the villa. I think Cinco is gonna be tempted but no I don't think Will or Cinco are going to switch it up. I think it's going to end up SO bad for Cash and Olivia both.

I voted Aimee and Wes for sure. I feel like one couple that it's going to come down to is for sure going to be Florita and Jeremy. But as for the other one it's really tough to say... maybe Trina and Cinco like you said although I don't think they've really done anything problematic since getting together. I hate to say it I feel like it could be Olivia and Javonny...

OKAY YES I WAS GONNA SAY CASA AMOR SHOULD BE COMING UP SOON NO?? I'M SO FUCKING STOKED FOR THAT LKDJF;LKSJF I LIVE FOR THIS DRAMA AS MUCH AS IT STRESSES ME OUT

[gerberbabey]

debut | prologue | pope heyward w/filipina!reader

a debut mini series bc i miss my debut

also kook academy aint a thing, aaaaand the whole gold thing just like....didn’t happen yikes. 

summary: You have exciting news.

masterlist | previous | next

warnings: cussing

prologue - ♫ Through and Through by khai dreams  ♫

After a long day of fucking around and being teenagers, settling down and chilling by the bonfire was a typical way for the Pogue’s to end the night. Wrapped up in sweaters to fight the chill of the night air, yet wearing shorts to keep themselves from over heating, the group talked over how in only a few days they would be starting their senior year. 

“’Outfit ideas for our last-first day?’” Kie mocked as she scrolled through her instagram feed. It was only during these cool down moments did the Pogues ever really find themselves on their phones. Usually they spent their days wrapped up in each other’s tomfoolery. 

“Man I still can’t believe we’re gonna be seniors,” JJ scoffed, “I thought I’d have dropped out by now to be honest.”

“Yeah me too,” John B teased and the brunette laughed as JJ flicked sand at him. 

“Can’t wait for all those senior events,” Kie grinned but the boys only groaned. They weren’t the type to care much about dances or football games or typically any school santioned events. But Kie being Kie was involved in a lot of school stuff like that. Pope was involved in school sure, but only academically. The last time he’d gone to a football game he nearly got his head busted open when a fight had broken out and he and his friends had gotten caught in the middle of it. 

“C’mon you guys. Last homecoming? Senior picnic? Pro-”

“Pope!” 

The group of four turned in surprise and watched with wide eyes as you ran  your way over to them, practically leaving clouds of sand behind you at how fast you were rushing.

“(Y/N)?-” Pope grunted as you barreled into him the second he stood from his seat. 

“Oh my god, you’re never gonna believe it-oh shit, hey guys,” you greeted Pope’s friends and they greeted you back though the confusion was clear on their faces. Outside of the Pogues you were Pope Heyward’s absolute best friend. The two of you had known each other since quite literally the day you were born considering your mom and Pope’s mom were the best of friends. 

You didn’t usually hang around the other Pogues though. They were Pope’s group. You were friends with them of course, and you definitely spent a lot of your time with them. But outside of Pope you tended to hang out with your teammates. 

Despite that, you and Pope made sure that you saw each other almost everyday. When he didn’t decide to sleep over at the Chateau he was either at your house or you were at his. When he did decide to sleep over at the chateau you’d find yourself there with him at the end of the day. Even if he spent an entire day with just the Pogue’s he reserved time to be with you. And you, him.

“Ok-I’m like losing my mind!” you panted and Pope laughed as he steadied you. 

“Jeez (Y/N) take a breather,” he told you and you let out a breathless laugh before taking a moment to gather yourself. 

“Ok,” you giggled, “Sorry. But I was just with the girls right? And my mom calls me and guess what?” 

“Whaaat?” Pope dragged out and his friends watched in amusement as you shook his entire body. 

“My dress came in! Ah! Oh my god I’m so excited!” You squealed as Pope’s eyes widened a wide grin stretching his features. 

“What? seriously?”

“Yes seriously!”

“Uuum, dress for what?” Kie decided to pipe in and you turned to her with a bright expression. 

“My dress for my debut! My mom’s aunt or something is like a dress maker in the Philippines and we sent them my measurements like 3 months ago. And it just got shipped in!” you were talking at 100 miles per hour at this point and Kie, JJ, and John B were having a hard time catching up, “I’m supposed to pick it up tomorrow afternoon I think, but I was just so excited that I had to tell Pope!” you turned back to Pope who hadn’t taken his eyes off you, his expression soft yet excited. 

JJ turned to Kie, silent for a moment as he gathered his thoughts, “...What?” he whispered and Kie snorted as she shoved him away. 

“Your debut...that’s like your 18th right?” John B questioned and you nodded at him obviously a bit surprised that he remembered. You could barely remember telling the other Pogues about this. You only tended to talk to Pope or 1 or 2 of your teammates about it. 

“Yeah, I can’t believe you remembered,” you laughed and John B smiled. 

“What?” John B questioned as JJ and Kie both shot him looks of confusion. You were lost to their interaction as you began to ramble to Pope while he listened intently, nodding along or humming in response to you. You’d always been the more energetic one of your pair. You were there for only a moment longer before you decided it was time to head out.

“Ok, I’ll go now,” you laughed waving to the Pogues after you gave Pope a hug and the usual kiss on the cheek, “Good night you guys!” you bid and Pope and his friends waved back at you as you turned and jogged back over to your car full of teammates that they hadn’t even noticed. 

“Bye (Y/N)!” Kie called just as you were about to enter the car and though they could barely see you in the dark, they knew you were blowing them kisses. They silently watched the car drive away before Pope finally settled back down into his seat. 

Looking up he blinked as his friends stared him down. 

“What?” 

“C’mon Pope,” JJ urged, “Senior year man, are you finally gonna ask out (Y/N) or what?” Pope’s eyes widened at that and he sputtered as he tried to come up with a response.

“Wh-what?! What man no! That-that’s (Y/N). My like best friend since we were babies!” 

“Yeah, that means you guys are basically soulmates, Pope,” Kie teased and Pope could feel the heat on his cheeks and the tips of his ears. 

“Hey, if you don’t wanna ask her out,” JJ wiggled his eyebrows, “I’ve been holding back y’know?”

“Shut up JJ,” Pope threw a handful of sand at the blonde.

“This is your last chance Pope,” John B insisted, “Before you head off to college to play with dead bodies, and she heads off to college to be a college athlete.” 

Pope scoffed at that as he looked down and played with his the ends of his sweater. 

“It’s not like that ok?” he tried to argue but they only shot him knowing smiles. 

“Just sayin’. Senior year’s the year man,” JJ raised his brows at him and Pope could only scoff as they dropped the subject. 

[macklives]

hi. so..... its been a while huh? feels kinda weird making a message on here, after what??? a month of not posting at fucking all??

and idk how to say that im sorry for taking so long, especially with kallie kinda sticking with me pretty much the whole time i was away. so we both kinda went AFK on everybody. and by god, this has also been the longest gap between updates. so yeah... i feel you all are owed an explanation. 

id like to give a short summary of what went down in my life recently. not so much as an excuse for my disappearance, but bearing in mind, i can't just come back suddenly without a notice as to why it took so long, and then start discussing homestuck theories as if nothing happened, that would be ...weird and off putting. im known as one to talk a lot in a post, so i think its expected. buckle up kiddos, this may be a long one, which you dont have to necessarily read, but im simply putting it out there for you all in case any of you may have been worried or confused. 

ALSO, keep in mind im alright with sharing this information because i needed some time to get over it in order to accept it, and being able to say this stuff means im pretty much ready to move on and go back to what it was like before (which for someone who has trouble focussing, can get quite fucking hard). so here's the last few months in a nutshell:

i got my wisdom teeth pulled so i was both in pain and numb for a week and a half after being drugged up with, idk, the IV they use to knock you tf out and that needle to numb your teeth?? and having those bad boys outta my mouth so that was a fun time. fuck that shit.

uhhh on the more upsetting side of things, a friend of mine recently passed away, but i took some time to recover from that. i didnt want to bum everybody out by liveblogging while in that state, nor did i feel like it was right to make jokes at that time (for obvious reasons) so i took some time off. and while i do still care for that person, after a while you have to come to terms that your life can't evolve around grief, and you have to move on eventually. its been a month and im doing way better than i was in the first week. so you dont have to worry really.. i even heard about the messages friends wrote on discord and let me tell you that i appreciate every response, i love all of them, i love all of you guys, but if any of you worry about me as of today, just know im doing perfectly fine and thats behind me now. so yeah, thats the worst of the news..

on less distressing matters, i changed up my job! i used to be a waitress at a restaurant to get that not so mucho money cash flowing, and now i got a full time placement as an intern (sort of full-time. full-time with student conditions). which in hindsight, to some may not sound like its any helpful, but considering im in my final year of college and i have to explore new places to get experience, id rather go where its needed so i reach that specific goal in mind. and you have to start somewhere, so this is where ill start heading. though i do still have to graduate which will take a lot of stress out of me eventually but it hasnt yet caught up lol... yikes to when that fuse blows in the future. 

and finally, the most frustrating part of the month, idk who it was specifically, the company or the landlord, but eh details arent that important, anyways, the landlord and/or its agency messed up with our rental situation and lost a lot of our info so i had to spend a lot of time trying to get that back while also filling out tax returns bc those were finally put out. so yeah, we kinda just have to wait for a notice, though i personally think everything will be fine. we’re considering moving out eventually, but thats probably gonna have to wait a bit longer. while we’re still angry, the landlord respected that it was out of line and apologised while making it up to us, so that was fair enough.

so YEAH, you can pretty much say its been one hell of a fucking month, and i had barely any time to liveblog let alone be in contact with friends that i kinda missed so fucking much????... i basically didnt want to bring anybody down with me (emotionally or mentally), so i decided to at least give you all a warning that i wouldnt be on for a while, hence the last update a few weeks prior, and to take a break for myself to figure out my situation, to rest, and to try and get healthier despite that wisdom fuck week, which nobody warned me wisdom teeth removals were ABSOLUTE HELL

but... im glad to be back, im not sure ill get back into the rhythm of how things used to be, meaning, posting almost every day....that would have to wait a bit unfortunately. however, i think it would be best if i made a sort of schedule for myself. maybe a liveblog twice a week, starting the next. it would help out a lot. i hope to start off with that at least, and not push myself too hard for hours anymore nor the stress of needing to post daily. i loved it, dont get me wrong, but sometimes it took a lot out of me since i know it takes a lot of my time. that being said, i will be on discord, maybe tomorrow? and probably be more active on there from now on, since everything is sorta cleared in my life and there's no more hectic commotion 24/7. the only thing at this rate stopping me from being active is having family over in the next couple weeks. but otherwise, yeah, its good to be back and im again sorry for my absence once more.

yours, 

mackenzie <33

[beeeeeeecause]

Hiiii I could I request for beej x s/o where he forgets a special date with his boo (eheh) and she gets really sad bc it's not the first time people have forgotten important dates with them?? Pllss and love your worksss

•big yikes

•this would be a v bad situation

•assuming y’all have been together for a long time and you’ve gotten to the point where you can open up about how you’ve struggled with being forgotten in the past, he would feel so mega guilty

•he’d be on call, doin his job, bio exorcist stuff, and run into an old friend of his

•cue the “hey, how’ve you been the last 100 years”

•gets caught up in talking about ‘the good old days’

•doesn’t even look at the time

•meanwhile, you’re at home looking cute as hell waiting for him to get back from work

•you’ve got a neatly wrapped anniversary gift sitting on the counter and you’re getting increasingly impatient

•2 hours later you’re blowing out the candles and packing up the food and being just very sad altogether

•listening to Adele and angry crying on your couch is the new plan

•anyway, back to Beetlejuice

•he gets to the point in his conversation when he gets to brag about you (which is his favorite part)

• ((((“yeah my s/o is LIVING and HOT AS FUCK and they LIKE ME”))))

•then it dawns on him

•literally just says “Oh shit”

•panic mode activated

•drops everything, gives an extremely weak excuse, and get the hell out of there

•arrives home to a dark house and doesn’t see you anywhere

• “...babes?”

•he can hear ‘someone like you’ blaring from the upstairs bedroom and he knows he fucked up

•reluctantly heads up the stairs, with a bouquet of wilting flowers in his hand

• “well, look who decided to show up”

•ohfuckohgeezohgod

• “Baby listen, I’m so fucking sorry, i just—i lost track of time, it’s my fault, i was being stupid—there was this old friend—it doesn’t matter, just, please don’t be mad I love you so much I’m so sorry.”

• ........fatass silence

•he’s literally about to pee himself he’s so anxious

• “It’s fine.”

• (it’s not fine)

•you don’t bother looking at him and mumble “it’s not the first time.”

• “don’t do that babes, I fucked up, it’s my fault, I’m sorry.”

•you don’t look up, and wave him off with a quiet “whatever.”

• “cmon, baby, look at me”

•you don’t—and his heart literally hurts

•he’s v desperate

•He drops the flowers on the bedside table, as well as stripping off his jacket and climbs into bed next to you

•He touches your shoulder and you finally roll over

•the tear tracks on your cheeks are visible and it’s physically impossible for him to feel anymore guilty

• He brushes hair out of your face and cradles your cheek way too softly and very unlike him

• “You know you mean the world to me, right babes?“

• give him the ‘sounds fake but ok’ face

• “then why’d you forget?”

•he starts,,,,,,,,, laughing ???

•,,,,,,huh?????

• you (not so) softly punch him

• “Whats so funny?”

• “Well, i was so late because i was talkin’ about you”

• h u h ?

• “Saw an old buddy of mine today on the job, talked his ear off about what a badass you are”

• another thiccie silence

• “Beej you’re so fucking dumb.”

• “yeah, i know, but I’m here now! And I’m not gonna forget anything ever again, i swear!”

•cue ur heart melting at the thought of your ghost boyfriend rambling about how much he loves you to the point where it makes him late

•you kiss his stupid face

• “you’re not off the hook yet, you’ve gotta make this up to me.”

•his smile is v big

• “already on it.”

• he’s not inconsiderate, he’s just really stupid sometimes, but he’s baby and he loves you

• y’all cute

[same day delivery lmfao, i hope this is ok ]

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 4 episode 14

"THE SERPENTS VENOM"

Notes by me

- chulak!

- rebel jaffa lets goooo

- VIVA LE REVOLUTION

- tealc is such a multi tasker. Being on sg1 team AND the leader of a rebellion

- a trick!! A ruse!!! Blocked

- every time I see the tokra IDC I get sad bc its not gonna be martouf :(

- the tokra not being able to translate something and coming to DANIEL for help is like. such good development and trust for them but also it shows how smart Daniel is

- Jack on edge in this ep huh

- "of course, colonel Oniell is always fun to have around" ajsnsjdbd

- defiant whumpee !Tealc

- im sorry the light coming out of his mouth is weird

- daniel bringing 8 bags of shit he cant even carry smh

- Jack pushing his glasses up im losing it

- I love this set for the ship!

- nerd!Daniel

- "its all Phoenician to me, sir"

- this kids dad burned his sons Mark off his forehead. Thats just yikes

- maybe tealc can sway him with one of his beautiful speeches

- I DO NOT HEAR MY EARS ARE CLOSED

Pls tell me bratac isnt dead I do not believe it. And he would never say they were gods im calling bullshit

- I know hes being tortured and everything but I'm im just looking. when they rip his shirt. Off

- when Jacob gives the vaguest answers and they look at him like. You're not giving them alot of confidence buddy

- PROBLEMS ARISE

- tealcs back muscles hrrrnngg

- this torturer dude sounds like a catholic pr*ist

- I dont speak Chulak but tealc just said Fuck You

- the bomb moving and Sam crawling with it lol

- "thats it im sure.......WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!!!.......no yeah that's it." Im going to kill him in so many ways

- Jack leaning down oN TOP OF SAM like buddy you couldve leaned down anywhere else

- "I have no idea"

- tealc giving a freedom speech to the kid 😭😭 and his voice got kinda higher??

- Jack pulling Sam out from under the bomb by her legs

- when jacob tells Jack to take control of the ship and he gets SO excited and then immediately almost blows them up

- hes literally flailing his hands trying to move the space mines with??? Telekinesis???? The force???

- tealc being offered up as a gift. I have 6 dollars and an old bubblegum wrapper in my pocket but I am willing to break out the piggy bank

- it needs to be zero bc of a "math thing" ? What math thing im dumb

- theyre all terrible at this

- that shot of tealc hanging by one arm

- pls say Jack is not letting his boy die

- "tealc is expendable" jacob is now canceled

- daniel saying for the 5th time that he might have been wrong and then back tracking

- the kid helps!!!! Tealcs speeches always do the trick

- THEY MISSED??? ALL THAT AND THEY MISSED????

- go back for my boy or there will be consequences

- SPACE BATTLE

- oh thank god my jaffa is alive 💗

- "it is good to hear your voice oniell" BROTP

- *goes to try to start a war between apophis and heru'er to make it easier to defeat them*

*fails and makes everything worse*

~

Tealc whump: shot by zat, unconscious, kidnapped, arms chained to ceiling, tortured, tased(?) By staff thing, noises!, screaming, face grabbed, sweaty, bloody, manhandled, dragged, thrown by ribbon device, ribbon device to forehead weak, slow speech

🎶listening to Who I Am by The Score🎶 for tealc being a defiant rebel against the false gods and not breaking ✊🏿 🔥

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

OBC Hadestown Recording Review by a Non-Professional that you didn’t ask for

Alt. click-bait title: THEMES! THEMES! THEMES!

so i just listened to the Hadestown OBCR

so as practice, i’m going to do this review (i have a lot to say if you hadn’t noticed) like a sandwich--positives, mixed, neutral, negatives, more positives

and yes, I compare it to the NY version. it would be Impossible for me not to, considering that’s all I had for years. but I did listen to it with an open mind and wide-eyed excitement

YAS QUEEN

Amber Grey and Patrick Page, lovely as always

I’m glad they introduced Hades in “Road To Hell” also that Hermes is like...is there another god? oh yeah, ME!

Eva Noblezada was AMAZING and I love her Eurydice

Reeve Carney sounds like an wide-eyed, naive, optimistic musician and it’s Wonderful

the overall themes and a more cohesive story--like there were of course themes threaded thru the NY recording, but the themes were much stronger in this version

Hermes being Orpheus’s mentor, rather than just the narrator and occasionally interacting with Orpheus bc he can? the exchange between them reads less like “I’m kind of picking on your bc you’re an artist” and more like “yikes, bro, you messed up. and bc I’m your mentor, and the god of Travelers, I’mma help you out a little”

oh yes, LOVE LOVE LOVE “Wedding Song” and oh, I LOVED that he sang his song in this version (hope to see what happens on stage some day ;_;)

the OBC version of “Livin’ it Up on Top” is still fun as always and I love they included the joke “to hell and back”

Orpheus’s lyrics in “All I’ve Ever Known” are So. Soft. our soft, poor boy Orpheus

Reeve and Eva’s voices fit together really well and I’m cry

“A Gathering Storm” is just Gorgeous storytelling right there, mmhmm. And oh shit, the “It’s not supposed to be like this” damn. And Eurydice’s “bring the world back into tune” Love it.

oh dude, the doubt in “Epic II” mirroring Orpheus’s later doubt poetictheater.jpeg

the lead in from “Epic II” to “Chant” always Great. And oh man, loved more of the storytelling and Eurydice’s lyrics in “Chant” okay but the juxtaposition of Hermes telling Orpheus telling him to look up while the Chorus chants to keep your head low oh jeez. And Eva sounds Great in “Chant” like DAMN

shaken, not stirred

Andre De Shields, sorry bro.

intellectual: I think his performance was great and the way he portrays Hermes fits really well with the style and aesthetic of Hadestown.

emotional: unfortunately, I don’t like his voice. and yes, I’m definitely biased for NY Hermes, but this is like a personal preference type thing. his voice is like the opposite of a stim for me... :\ which is unfortunate, because I did enjoy his performance

“Road To Hell” is before “Any Way The Wind Blows”

intellectual: it definitely fits this version, and I really liked hearing more about Eurydice and understanding her struggles and why falling in love with Orpheus is such a big thing for her

emotional: but I kinda liked the order in the NY version. it kinda felt like a preface to the story itself, and like even tho Hermes is the narrator, beginning with a song the Fates sing, it shows who’s truly in charge (they DO in fact control the speed at which lobsters die)

tho if I’m being honest, “Livin’ it Up on Top” doesn’t quite have that kick the NY version has. idk if instruments or missing or there isn’t enough ppl singing, but there’s just something missing, which takes a little of the fun out of it

It again feels like something is missing from “Way Down Hadestown” :\

intellectual: I guess I understand why they gave Orpheus’s lyrics to the Fates and Hermes (bc like how would he know what it’s like down there, truly?)

emotional: but I also didn’t like it bc as I’ll talk abt a lot in a min, it really takes away from Reeve’s performance

I’m actually super disappointed that Reeve/Orephus wasn’t featured as much as in the NY recording. his voice is almost completely drowned out almost entirely through “Wait For Me.”

intellectual: I quite enjoyed that the rest of the cast acted as the stones echoing back his song, and that it fit with and strengthened the overall themes and plot of the musical. I’m glad that this version has a more cohesive story and stronger themes

emotional: but it was no longer about Orpheus and his journey, and I think they could’ve kept the themes while also featuring Reeve’s voice. esp in such an Iconic song for Orpheus like “Wait For Me”

“If It’s True” I was tempted to put this in the negatives section bc I feel like it really takes away from Orpheus’s story (get ready to here a lot of repetition sorry not sorry fam). but there are some things I liked abt it.

intellectual: I liked that in the OBC version, that it was more abt the theme they’d introduced abt the workers’/chorus’s struggle and Hades’s struggle to keep them nameless, so to speak. I also did like that they show Orpheus’s worldview change. and fucking finally gave Reeve a chance to shine (kinda, with interjections from Hermes and the Chorus)

emotional: but I do think they went abt it the wrong way, bc I liked that it addressed just Orpheus and his feelings of what’s gone on (specifically Eurydice belonging to Hades) in the NY version, and I didn’t like that in the OBC version that it Was more abt the themes. I also felt like it got a little preachy. Like that’s not what I thought the original “If It’s True” was abt yo. I get it fits with the overall theme and message they want to get across, but I don’t think their execution was that Great :\ I also really liked that in the NY version, him just being sad is what moved both Persephone and the Chorus

“Wait For Me (Reprise)” is the same as with “Wait For Me”

intellectual: I’m not saying  that the new, stronger themes are bad or anything--like I’ve said, I Loved that they strengthened the themes and made the musical more cohesive overall.

emotional:

(+): Okay but also I really Love Eurydice singing what Orpheus sang in “Wait For me”

(-): Reeve’s voice is often drowned out and it’s no longer about his and Eurydice’s story as much (it’s in the very first song! “brother, thus, begins the tale of ORPHEUS AND EURYDICE”). I really do think they could have gone about it in a way that highlights Reeve as Orpheus AND keeps with the theme and the message they wanted to get across by including the Chorus. I mean look! Look! Reeve stands off to the side or isn’t singing for like ALMOST THE WHOLE SONG DUDE. he gets 36 measly seconds singing in this song, I timed it. it’s a 3 mins and 12 second song. and most of those seconds are spent singing the song with the chorus (I do not, however, really count the times Hermes is speaking bc those lines are Great and when Eurydice is singing at the end, but Still!). like I said, I’m so glad they have Eurydice singing his song back to him, but I Really Do Think they could have composed it so it was still Orpheus’s song (with Hermes, and Eurydice at the end, keep that of course!), but held those stronger themes.

“Doubt Comes In” ...like at this point, are you even surprised?

intellectual: strong themes. great. okay.

emotional:

(+):  I Loved Eurydice’s part in this, encouraging Orpheus even tho he can’t hear her. I also did love that they added in Orpheus’s thoughts--pique drama, I LOVED it

(-): third verse, same as the first (and second): Reeve just wasn’t featured as much as I would have liked him to be! the Fates get the lines Orpheus used to sing! when Orpheus sang, “where are you? where are you now?” the first time more steady and sing-song-y, the second time more desperate (but still beautiful holy shit Damon Daunno was Amazing) as he starts to go out of his mind,,, i felt that and i’m incredibly disappointed (and angry lbr) that they took those lines away from Orpheus.

not really a point, but this needs its own bullet point: it just does Reeve a huge disservice, bc he’s a Great Orpheus. I Loved his Orpheus, but the fact that he’s taken out of so much of the story he’s the protagonist in detracts severely from his performance, and it’s a damn shame

I did really liked that they made the “la la la” more complicated in “Epic III” and when Persephone and Hades danced, and how it was softer, but I also liked how powerful the “la la la” crescendo as Hermes, Persephone (I believe) and the Chorus joined in along with the instruments was in the NY version so,,, ¯\_( : \ )_/¯

I don’t think they changed any of the lyrics for “Road To Hell (Reprise)” (they added stuff, sure) but it sounded and felt different, and I’m upset that it wasn’t the same as the NY. it’s in this section tho, bc it was still good (think I like the NY version just slightly better, but I do like the OBC version too, but for different reasons)

neutral(ish)

the change of characters who says/sings lines isn’t my fave, but it’s not bad either and, based on the theme and more cohesive storyline, it makes sense

I’m trying to decide if Patrick Page’s descent from a higher vocal range into a lower one is a stylistic choice, but I don’t feel one particular way about it or another (except for the fact that it didn’t sound like him I questioned if it was at first)...tho the bass drops for “Hey Little Songbird” so maybe it was a stylistic choice and if so, Brilliant! (but it will stay in this spot since I can’t tell if that was intentional)

I’m a little surprised they didn’t give Eurydice her spot light in “Why We Build the Wall” but it’s not like it changes the story much. I think I just liked that she stood out, and with those lyrics, bc it’s dramatic irony--we know her mistake but she doesn’t yet realize that it is a mistake she’s made

“Word to the Wise” it was good. not great. I liked NY version better, but I think I mildly like NY Fates better bc they sang in a very harsh and solid way. like in some parts the OBC Fates do too, but not in the songs where it matters (to me)

the changes made to the Epics. I liked the more story-telling aspect of them, but I also didn’t quite love the changes. but the songs themselves were still p great, so (it’s here, rather in the mixed section) bc I don’t particularly feel as strong one way or another abt the NY Epics compared to the OBC Epics

Once again, I feel like smth is missing from “Word to the Wise” :\ like some kind of instrument to really push it into extraordinary, to hold it up. But the Fates were a little better at being brutal so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i guess

hard no, babe

that being said, regarding first point in the neutral section, I didn’t like that they took away (even) more of Orpheus’s lines because it then removes (even) more of his voice, when he’s HALF THE FEATURE OF THE STORY. I know it’s really about two love stories (and like I said before, it does strengthen the themes and overall storyline), but the main focus was Orpheus and Eurydice !!!

the sound of the train whistle. mmm, I’ll pass. it’s so dinky. bring back the NY train!

The way Reeve says/sings some of his lines (not all of ‘em tho) could use some work? doesn’t sound great. didn’t love it. idk if it was a stylistic choice on the director’s part or Reeve’s own choices in how he wanted to play Orpheus, but I didn’t agree with them. I think he uses his falsetto a little too much for some lines. And let me tell you, was very afraid they were going to do that three-voice thing (like in the concept album) when Orpheus meets Eurydice. glad they didn’t, but I also didn’t really think they needed it at all

I’m actually uber disappointed they took out the old radio sound for Hermes in “Wait For Me.” I just really liked it man.

ngl, I. was. Heartbroken. when they’d changed the lyrics to Epic III (which is why it’s in this section :\). Esp like I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY CHANGED “where is the man, WITH HIS HAT IN HIS HANDS, who stands in the garden, with nothing to lose” (emphasis mine). like, again, i understand the changes were made to keep with the themes introduced, BUT can you Imagine. holding the whole world in your arms (when Hades gets the girl) compared to holding something so small and insignificant (BEFORE Hades gets the girl). COME ON! it’s like the perfect juxtaposition AND I thought it made Hades much more human AND it still keeps with the themes. (tho I am glad they kept that part at all bc when I realized how much of “Epic III” they changed, I was worried they’d taken that part out too. it’s in this section tho bc the changes are unforgivable overall)

Come Home With Me I and II (Reprise) !!! I’m extremely sad they changed the lyrics so much. Admittedly, I do like the first “Come Home With Me” introducing his song that will bring spring back. But the changes are too unforgivable for me to put it in the mixed section. I really liked Orpheus’s proposal in “Come Home With Me II” in the NY version and that repetition of “say I do, I came all the way just to ask you to” and then the Fates step in and are like, “Mmm, sorry boo, she belongs to Hades now” and the song ending with Eurydice saying “I do” but with a totally different meaning. like okay, the OBC version fits more with the theme, and I’m glad they still kinda included it in “Papers” (I do actually like the way it’s composed in “Papers” if I’m being honest, the “I did. I do.” just,,, hits me) but it’s too unforgivable to put in the mixed section. OH GOD and. esp,,, okay Listen. HOW could they take out “are you always this confident?” // “when I look at you I am” and then later hearing Hades sing, “Orpheus the undersigned SHALL NOT LOOK BEHIND // SHE’S OUT OF SIGHT and he’s out of his mind” LIKE COME ON MAN that was Perfect AND YOU TOOK IT OUT ???

the Fates in their “Way Down Hadestown (Reprise)” I Loved the NY bc they Tore into Eurydice (I love my girl, but that song is a Bop and they are Ruthless). the way they sang, it was harsh and cutting. in the OBCR...not so much. It’s too sing-songy and embellished (is the best way I can explain it), and I was disappointed bc it was one of my fave songs in the NY version. not to mention, I Did Not Like Eurydice’s lyric changes. and I know that it strengthens the themes, and I did actually like that they showed Eurydice losing herself as she worked (esp bc it adds more to “Flowers” and again strengthens the thread linking the songs), but I disliked it as a whole enough that it can’t be saved to be moved into the mixed section

OH NO I. CANNOT. BELIEVE. THEY CHANGED “YOU’RE EARLY” // “I MISSED YOU” TO “IT’S YOU” // “IT’S ME” // “ORPHEUS” // “EURYDICE” FUCK YOUR THEMES but for real, I think keeping “you’re early” // “I missed you” would’ve have kept with the theme way more than what they changed it to bc 1) they’re referencing smth the two litchrally just said to each other. and 2) THAT’S WHAT PERSEPHONE AND HADES SAID TO EACH OTHER WHEN HE CAME TO GET HER FROM HADESTOWN AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SHOW. it’s a theme that’s introduced in the beginning of the musical--“it’s a tale from long ago”--bc Persephone and Hades’s relationship was SUPPOSED to mirror Orpheus and Eurydice right? there’s the fact that Orpheus’s song is what Hades heard long ago like ??? a HUGE Point of Orpheus and Eurydice’s love story was to remind Persephone and Hades about the love they shared when they first met (“wait for me?” // “I will”). and gosh darn it, it still would’ve fit the themes if they had stuck with “you’re early” // “I missed you” bc of that!

SPEAKING OF I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY TOOK OUT PERSEPHONE’S LYRICS IN “CHANT (REPRISE)” LIKE WHAT like it worked so well !!! (esp bc I’ve read reviews of the show, with Hades and Persephone circling Orpheus and Eurydice as they’re dueling and switching the direction they walk when the chorus makes that “kch” noise like poetictheater.jpeg) it was such a good juxtaposition between what Hades thinks Persephone wants and what Persephone actually wants (I do like that “Chant (Reprise)” is more complicated composition-wise, but not enough to move it into the mixed section). ALSO “He said we’d build ‘em up // And then the walls would set us free” // “Is it true, what he said?” // “He said we’d soldier on // And then the war would bring us peace.” I thought that got across the message quite well in the NY version, esp since they were echoing Orpheus’s “if it’s true.” they’re also just Great lines and I Cannot Believe they took them out 

YAS QUEEN

I’m a HOE for singing in the round, and the beauty of Orpheus’s “la la la la” joined in by the chorus in “Wait For Me” got me like. OKAY AND THE LYRIC ADDITIONS I LITERALLY CANNOT IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL AND POETIC AND GOOD WHEN ORPHEUS SANG “I HEAR THE ROCKS AND STONE, ECHOING MY SONG, I’M COMING”

I mean,,, how can you Not like “Our Lady of the Underground.” I also really enjoyed the more jazzy feel. Like it was already jazzy, but it’s even more jazzy in this version, to me

if you couldn’t tell, I loved Reeve and his Orpheus

“Papers” is Great and idk why but I Love “everything and everyone in Hadestown, I own.”

oh shit dude, Orpheus’s song being something from long ago that he like picked up on bc Greek mythology be like that and then HADES RECOGNIZING THE SONG. THAT. WAS. BRILLIANT.

“Flowers” felt like it fit much better in this version, with the themes being stronger and all that. also could actually hear it clearly, so that could be why bc I’m pretty sure they didn’t change a single lyric lol. still Loved it

the lyric additions to “Wait For Me” I’M SCREAM SO GOOD (even tho I’ve mentioned this before lmao)

“How Long” was. so. good. I just really enjoyed the exchange between Persephone and Hades in this song

DUDE I JUST REALIZED “NOW I SING A DIFFERENT SONG” FROM THE ONE ORPHEUS REMINDS HADES OF BRILLIANT

“Oh, it’s about me?” that made me laugh out loud. Oh god Also the repetition of lyrics in “All I’ve Ever Known” in “Epic III” to show that Orpheus and Eurydice’s love mirrors Persephone and Hades’s? poetictheater.jpeg

“Promises” omg. I actually liked this one better than NY “Promises” sorry not sorry. don’t get me wrong, Eurydice has every right to tell Orpheus off since he made all those promises he couldn’t keep in the NY “Promises” but in OBC “Promises” it feels more mutual. it feels softer. rather than Eurydice going, “you done messed up A-A-Ron” it’s more like Orpheus going, “I done fucked up and I’m sorry.” Orpheus is more self-aware and I liked that.

dudes, I’m extremely happy they added Eurydice back in for “We Raise Our Cups” it really rounds everything out. And it’s just a really good epilogue song. (I’m curious to see if Reeve is out on stage for this or if he stays backstage)

Final thoughts: the stronger themes were Great. don’t get me wrong. okay. I liked that about this version. but I feel like by trying to be too In With The Times(TM) they lost some of the heart of the story, which ultimately detracted from Reeve’s performance as Orpheus.

sometimes I really think a story can be just a story about two people (or two love stories), and the themes and messages will find their way in naturally. it doesn’t need to be this big thing about everyone all of a sudden. at the very least, bc it’s obvious the themes and messages are stronger in the OBC version, it does take some work and planning, but I felt like they were trying just a tad too hard and ended up being too heavy-handed.

I thought the themes and message they were originally trying to get across got across just find in the NY composition (specifically for “Wait For Me (Reprise)” bc the themes are definitely stronger throughout the overall musical in the OBCR composition)

now, I’m not saying don’t include messages in your art, that’s what art is for! But I think they could have either kept it about how it was in the NY version, because there were still messages (just a little more lucid and not as strong) OR they could have composed it some way that kept the stronger themes and messages AND kept the importance and presence of Orpheus’s role, and Orpheus and Eurydice’s story.

for me, Orpheus, esp OBC and Reeve’s Orpheus, doesn’t strike me as the guy to start a revolution and lead the Chorus thru hell. Like when the Fates say, “who are you to think that you can hold your head up higher than your fellow man?” I honestly get confused bc,,, he... doesn’t think that though? He just loves Eurydice and wants to save her from Hadestown. and maybe that’s actually the point? that Orpheus wasn’t ready for the pressure suddenly put on him to not just lead Eurydice out but also all of Hades’s workers, so doubt came in. but then what was with “If It’s True?” which, as I said, did start to sound pretty preachy? not to mention, the one time their themes and messages aren’t clear

anyway, long story long, the way I see Orpheus is his voice just does That. it doesn’t have to have some secret, overarching message for his songs to influence and move people. in the original “If It’s True” he sang about his loss and it was emotional enough to move Hades’s workers. to me Orpheus’s gift, his music, his voice is about emotion. and I think of Coco in that respect: “de la Cruz was a nobody, but when he sang, people listened” paired with, “I didn’t write it for the world, I wrote it for Coco” yet “Remember Me” (and all his songs) still resonated and moved people

so anyway, here’s my Hadestown hot take: Reeve wasn’t nominated for a Tony because the new composition underutilized him as Orpheus

no i don’t take criticism

[angelhummel]

It's not a rank 5, but could you rank every Rachel through the 6 seasons? I mean, what Rachel do you think is better and wich one is the worst and why. I don't know if i explained it well, i am learning to speak english so im sorry for all the mistakes hahah

Ohhh that’s a good ask. And I love ranking stuff so. Also you explained it perfectly and your spelling and grammar is probably better than mine tbh so yay! Alright, now, let’s get to Rachel…

To preface: It’s probably well known that Rachel is not my fave but I’ll try my best to be gentle Never mind i just finished it and it’s pretty rough. But it gets better near the end kind of??

Season 5b - Right off the bat I’m already cheating, but what can you do? I’m separating this season into two parts because the first and second half are like night and day as far as Rachel goes. Once Frenemies hits, she just gets completely insufferable for me. Like I can’t even try and tolerate her. The way she treats her supposed best friends, and the whole stuff with trying to make Elliott her new “best gay”. Yikes. And then we go back to Lima and she has to make someone (this time Mercedes) feel sorry for her and throw her a pity party. But that happens at least once a season so whatever. Anyway, late season five Rachel has got to be my least favorite over all 

Season 3 - So the show has been completely Rachel-centric from the start but this season was just a joke because they were like “it’s Rachel’s senior year!! Everything has to be about her!!” because fuck Kurt, Santana, Mercedes, et al. This whole season was like a pity party for Rachel from start to finish. She pouts and cries about literally everything and makes it all about her, and then gets what she wants anyway. Cries about even having competition for NYADA, gets in anyway. Cries about Mercedes being better than her, gets the part of Maria anyway. Cries about completely blowing her audition, gets like ten more chances to prove herself. And gets in anyway. Plus she tries to have sex with Finn to improve her portrayal of Maria. And she wins prom queen when she didn’t earn it or deserve it. Just tiring over all. 

Season 1 - Okay so Rachel is basically the worst right off the bat. But at least early on, it’s funny and amusing. She’s obnoxious, but she’s supposed to be. It’s okay if she acts like a spoiled child because she obviously is. She hasn’t had any development yet or ever but at this point it’s okay because everything is new and she’s like 16 and it’s fine. She has some good funny moments but shit like “Why do you have to hurt me to make her feel good” still drive me up the wall so I gotta put this one kind of low

Season 6 - I’m just putting this here bc I don’t remember much of season 6. I remember there were only 13 episodes and they spent like huge chunks here and there of nothing but Rachel. In thirteen episodes she gets four solos and seven duets and it’s just too much. I’m done. I don’t care.

Season 4 - Obviously I still have my problems with her in this season buuut I’m gonna flip it and try to focus on the positive now! Ummm I think it’s nice seeing Rachel in a new setting. I like all her stuff with Brody and some of her stuff with Cassandra. I like her struggles with growing up and trying to make grown up decisions. How should she handle her relationship with Brody? Should she do a topless scene? Idk man but we’re gonna find out. Oh and her whole “I don’t need you to give me my freedom! I am a grown woman!” like that gives me chills, man. Great scene. Good growth 

Season 5a - Okay so to be fair, Rachel doesn’t have much to do in these precious 8 episodes. And I love it! Great choice, Glee. Kurt spent the majority of season 4 propping her up, so now she does a little of it in return. Getting him out of his funk after Finn died, agreeing to be in his band, and whatever else. Also there’s so much good Pezberry. You know what that does to me. Oh, and she’s adorable af as Fanny, so that helps. She also tries to help them all by getting them two jobs at the mall, and she’s actually supportive of Santana at the start of the season. Let’s just pretend that’s how the whole season went!

Season 2 - Alright so this is my favorite Rachel. I’ve kind of talked about this before and I said that I like when characters (especially Rachel) are being good friends and actually caring about others, and I think this is her most caring season over all. I went more into detail about it here. I said she had more selfless moments in season 2 than she had for the rest of the show lol. And I know I’m such a hypocrite because I always complain that they ignore everyone else’s friendships to give Rachel all the good stuff to do but… at least Rachel is doing good stuff, right? 

[abnormalpsychology]

The Bully (part one)

[HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE! Ya boi is excited bc I’m uploading my first-ever fanfic!! @joshua-rush-fanpage I hope you like it! This is part of the Valentines Day Friendom Gift Exchange. I wrote quite a lot more than I expected to, so the tag #myfanfic on here will be where you can find the rest uploaded later today. Sorry about the spacing errors— I originally wrote this in a google doc and Tumblr was being weird when I tried to fix them. I really really hope you like it! The first part is utter shit as a warning but it gets better!!! Hopefully I write more stuff soon, but here’s a little GHC to warm your hearts for now. I can’t believe I’m leaving a long, shitty, Wattpad-ass Author’s Note for the whole world to see but here we fuckin’ are. I also did not think I was the Soulmate AU type, but ALSO here we fuckin’ are. Meme mutuals please don’t think I’m lame I PROMISE IM COOL UwU. Have a lovely day even if you don’t read anything besides my ramblings. Thanks for making a community where I feel brave enough to finally post some writing I’ve worked hard on. I’m very grateful. <3 @swingsetboys Thanks so much for arranging this.]

Kids normally started thinking about their soulmates and deciphering their marks once they got their first crush, but Cyrus Goodman was different. He’d been worried about love all of his life, and the more he thought, the less sense it made. Trusting fate was generally put forward as the best way to deal with soulmate-related issues, at least before you met them, but Cyrus was finding that trusting fate was remarkably more difficult than all of the online articles and books in his parents’ offices made it sound. He wondered sometimes if he maybe was the universe’s first-ever mistake, a legendarily big screw-up, and this was a concern that was difficult to express without simultaneously concerning everyone else around him.

Cyrus’ mark was in what he had decided was the worst possible place it could be— his back. Two solid pitch-black handprints were indented into his skin so he had to twist around in the mirror to even glimpse the peculiar birthmark, like a two-year-old’s art project smushed across his skin or a crude frat party drawing etched on during a hangover was supposed represent his hope for the future and the person he was supposed to love more than anything. He’d always felt weird about it. The question that was tied most to it, the great white whale, the million-dollar-Jeopardy one, was what the situation could possibly be that would cause the mark to light up, to fill with color, when it made contact with his future spouse’s skin.

They’re gonna... push me? It was still, after years of contemplation and stomachaches, the best theory he had. The first way the person he was supposed to find eternal happiness with was by them trying to hurt him. That sure didn’t sound like love to him.

How would he make them angry? What would he do wrong?

The thought was his shadow, and the more he thought about it, the more confused he was. He didn’t want to make them angry, though! He wanted the person he was destined to spend the rest of his days with to like him right off the bat. He wanted the happy ending that everyone got.

“It’s fate,” Buffy had said and shrugged at their final summer sleepover before seventh grade began. “I mean, you can’t do anything to change it, Cy. I’m pretty sure you can’t fool the system by covering it with a tattoo. Since you always try to be as nice as possible anyway, I think you’re doing all you can.”

“Yeah.” He squinted. Maybe I’m just not good enough at being nice.

Buffy rolled her eyes, seeing through his words. “Cyrus. You really need to stop forgetting how cool you are. It’s annoying.”

“Thanks, Buffy, I just hope my soulmate understands my annoying… ness.”

“That was a joke—“

He gasped, shooting up with wide eyes. “What if I annoy them too much and that’s why they push me? What if I’m the one who ruins it?”

“Cyrus, I’m fairly certain that you would never be destined to spend your life with a total jerk. You may be weird, but that’s why soulmates love us, dummy. That’s why we love you.”

The two exchanged a smile, and Buffy reached around to squeeze his hand with her comforting smile.

“You’ll know when you see them anyway, because that’s like the whole thing. So… I don’t know. Maybe the push will be an accident or something. If it helps, I’ll personally remove the toenails if anyone who messes with you.”

“Well, I think,” Andi interjected like the voice of God from above, staring at the pair from her position of power on Cyrus’ couch. “You should stop worrying about something completely inevitable. It’s coming, like it or not.”

The boy let out a yelp and rubbed furiously at the goosebumps blooming on his skinny arms. “You didn’t have to phrase it like that, Andi!”

“Seriously,” Buffy agreed, eyes wide and unfocused. “Yikes.”

“It shouldn’t be scary. You two should really trust yourselves more. Future us will all make good decisions, I’m sure of it. Mostly. Probably.”

She leaned over to look down at her two best friends, reduced to frightened messes at the thought of someone who loved them, and deeply did not understand.

“I trust future Andi, at least. You two are weird.”

She stuck a bookmark made of old newspapers into the John Green book she was skimming, one of Bex’s favorites. She’d explained earlier about how since her older sister would be coming to visit her for the first time in practically forever, she had better know something about what she liked. Although from her various annoyed growls that echoed from above every once in a while, her friends could tell Andi’s tastes maybe differed from the latter’s.

“Real life isn’t that dramatic! Certainly isn’t as dramatic as this Augustus”—she gesticulated to the paperback copy—“thinks it is! What’s even going on in this book?”

She wrinkled her nose in disgust, setting the book down by the lamp.

“Yeah, whatever.” Buffy turned to look doubtfully over her left shoulder at her other best friend, from the spot on the calming maroon carpet where Cyrus was French-braiding her curls. “If you think all this soulmate crap will be totally drama-free, all relaxation and games, Andi, you’re kidding yourself. And it’s middle school.”

“You might want to rethink your position here,” agreed Cyrus, twirling a lock dastardly between his fingers.

A beeping sound came from the kitchen as butter filled the warm air, clashing with the rosy scent of the aromatherapy stuff Celia insisted on spraying everywhere before anyone else entered the house, even though it was just Buffy and Cyrus. They’re very well-behaved, Andi would always say, even though one was now swatting like a kitten at the other. True friendship.

“Stop that! Grow your own facial hair so you can stop using mine!”

“Low blow,” Andi commented.

“Never!” He fell backwards onto the carpet with a grunt as she attacked him with her fringe scarf, smacking her opponent with swift malice. Andi got up to go get their popcorn from the microwave, hopping easily over the destructive swarm of thrashing limbs on her floor.

The two broke apart, close to the door now. Like wrestlers, the kids sprinted to either corner of the room.

“Every time! This is why I don’t let you braid my hair, Cyrus!”

“You underestimate me! Now I have a secret weapon!”

A shadow rushed forward and cackled menacingly, a beautifully stitched pillow in shades of pink and red held aloft to decimate his friend.

“No! Bad Cyrus!” Andi scolded from the kitchen. “I made that for Bex!”

“This isn’t a Western!” Buffy yelled, hands up in surrender. “You aren’t going to tie Andi to the train tracks, no more!”

Cyrus pouted mutely, savoring the power, then conceded mercifully. “Ohhh-kay.”

“Maybe that’s why your soulmate will push you,” Buffy laughed. “You attack them, viciously, in a war of pillows.”

His face fell again, the weight of worry and insecurities returning instantly.

“Dammit.” Buffy sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Maybe I will... I’d demolish them, anyway.”

The three collapsed onto the couch together once Andi returned, mutely chewing their popcorn, their feathery Cold War forgotten. They could still hear cicadas outside. It didn’t quite feel like school yet, and something about that made the night seem more important, more meaningful, and made them all the more grateful for the other people who they felt like they could tell anything.

“Soulmates are weird to think about, though,” Andi added. “I mean, it’s not something you can teach in school or anything. How one person is made for another. I think it’s pretty crazy. Although I bet Augustus and Hazel would disagree.”

“Yeah, love’s simple until you think about— like— what if they die before you meet them?” Cyrus said, the years’ worth of anxiety seeping into his words. “Assuming it isn’t a fate thing. What if you’re the first one to prove it wrong? Or… you don’t know if you like that type of person?”

“Well,” Buffy chimed in, shrugging. “I mean, people always do, so…”

The trio fell quiet.

“Like soulmates or not, we can agree the marks are freaky as hell?”

“Absolutely.”

“At least you don’t have your mark in as weird a place as me.”

“Buffs, yours is on your hand. That’s not that weird.” Cyrus reached over her back to lightly touch the white splash of color across her right palm, and she jerked it away fast as if she was scared of it going off like a bomb. “High-fives happen all the time.”

“I know, but why would future me let anyone touch my hand? That’s not allowed!” She shivered dramatically. “Ugh. Can you imagine me all… stupid and love-struck? That would be remarkably awful.”

“Middle school,” Cyrus said, nodding sagely. “It changes all who experience it.”

“Well,” Andi whispered, suddenly solemn. “I guess we’ll find out if it changes us too.”

“Guess we gotta trust that the Future Good Hair Trio will make good choices. Soulmates or otherwise.”

The three looked around.

“At least we’ll have each other. No matter who comes, we’ll at least have each other.”

[my-5sos-babes]

TDMAR || Part 6

Summary: Luke is feelin' and reelin'. Ashton is gorgeous, per usual. Mike and Cal fight a bit.

Word Count: 3260

Triggers: swearing, band(?)

Publish Date: 9/21/18

a/n: trying something a bit new this chapter bc i'm not digging the first person anymore. also sorry for changing the tense in the last two updates?? i totally didn't notice that, i'm v sorry. p.s., I listened to some coffeehouse playlist while writing this chapter, so i'm guessing a lot of the tones in my writing came from that lmao, i'll try to make this story less trash. ALSO, if y'all would like, I can change the whole thing to third person, if it makes the story more cohesive. just lemme know. p.p.s., I saw 5sos the other day, pls talk w me about it <3

He sighed heavily, unable to repress it.

“Good, mate?” Calum asked.

Luke glanced up from his phone. “Oh, no, yeah. Just thinking about my anatomy notes for tonight,” he lied. “Lots of bones.”

Cal, unable to catch on, continued the conversation. “Ugh. Why would you take anatomy and physiology? It’s such a terrible class. Notes every night, tests every week? I couldn’t fathom having that much work every day.”

“Yeah, I can’t fathom that you know the word ‘fathom’,” Michael quipped. Quickly the conversation devolved into some squabble after Calum shoved Michael rather aggressively. Luke, while amused by the fight--and having no intentions to stop it--got caught up in his own headspace.

That seemed to be the norm these past few weeks. He wasn’t sure if anyone actually bothered to notice, but he hadn’t been talkative. Luke had been trying to look better, though, and that was something that people noticed.

He decided that he was tired of the emo-grunge look, one day. Almost out of nowhere. Well, not nowhere. He had some inspiration (from the kid who made his heart beat out of rhythm). 

To Luke, Ashton always looks so comfortable in his clothes: button down shirts with loud patterns, suave shoes of varying styles, and an occasional necklace or two. Luke, feeling partially intimidated--and partially turned on--realized that he would have to start putting more effort into his look if he wanted to make an impression. He wasn’t sure how, yet he knew he was going to do it.

With the help of his mother in the purging of his closet, Luke bought nicer clothes, better shoes, and even some accessories. The trip to the store had been interesting enough with the outfits, but when they passed the jewelry section, things got a little awkward.

“Luke? Where’d you go, honey?”

“Over here.”

“In the… accessories aisle?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“... Okay.”

That weekend, he spent time preplanning outfits and coordinating his jewelry so nothing clashed. He felt strangely proud of his work, as he looked at the clothing strewn about his room. He even threw on a few ‘fits and checked himself out in the mirror, admiring the way they fit his body. Luke had never really had such fitting clothing before and was--while apprehensive--unable to keep himself from thinking, Hot damn.

The day he showed up to school in new clothes, though, that pride plummeted. Everyone who knew him stared at him, everyone who didn’t was staring as well.

Oh, Jesus, I’m an idiot. Who the fuck would come to school looking like they just came off a knock-off Gucci mannequin.

Michael and Calum were perplexed at this sudden change in image more than anyone else.

“Woah, dude. What’re you wearing?”

Luke tugged at his sleeve, his confidence falling straight through the floor. “New clothes. Went shopping with my mum on Friday. She insisted.” He added on the last part as an afterthought, as if that would sway his friends shock. It helped a little. He was relieved when they bought his bluff.

   “Finally got tired of your rebellion, huh?” Calum queried good-naturedly.

“Sure. Something like that.”

Michael scoffed, “A true punk wouldn’t have let the rebellion fade.” He smirked afterwards.

Luke chuckled. “Guess I’m not a true punk-rocker anymore.”

At first, he found himself pulling his collar up his neck, like he couldn’t cover up enough skin. It wasn’t until someone complimented him during first period that he felt validated again. Gradually, kids every so often would approach him and say something like, “Nice boots!” and “Lookin’ good, Hemmings”; yet, it wasn’t until he saw Ashton for the first time that day that he felt most insecure.

“Luke?”

“Oh, hey, Ash,” Luke said, trying his best to be nonchalant.

“You’re lookin’... different.”

“Well…” He tried to not let the older boy’s word choice bother him. “I mean, felt like a change. Got some inspiration.” The younger boy nudged the other in the ribs.

   “Ah!” Ashton replied. A furrow appeared in his brow, his gaze lingering over the new threads adorning Luke’s skinny frame.

If Luke didn’t know any better, he’d say Ash was checking him out. Of course, that wasn’t true. Ashton’s the kind of guy that just does stuff like that. He probably thinks it’s weird. I’m weird for liking his style.

Luke mentally chastised himself. If he feels weird about it, he’s covering it up really well. Christ. Just don’t say anything stupid.

The two surprisingly didn’t speak for just a moment. Luke was astonished by this.

Ashton spoke first. “You did a decent job, Hemmings. Not bad at all… Although,” He circles around the other boy, a hand to his chin, “I think I would’ve chosen a wider pant leg. Skinny jeans just feel too tight for the shirt you have on--in my opinion, at least.

“As for your jewelry… I like the watch, it’s classy. I would’ve taken out the lip ring, though.”

Luke unconsciously reached for his face, wondering what the hell to say to that. Ash saw this immediately.

“Wait, oh, God--sorry. I just gave you a fucking review like I’m Miranda Priestley or some shit, didn’t I?” The older boy chuckled. “Wow… Jesus, I’m sorry if I made you self-conscious. You do not have to listen to me, just--just ignore what I said.”

The younger boy quickly shoved aside Ashton’s comments. “No, dude! That was awesome. I’ll take notes next time, seriously. That’ll help me so much. But you like it?”

That totally didn’t sound needy, dipshit.

Ashton nodded vigorously. “Yeah, definitely! You are stylin’!” He glanced at his phone, then. “Oh, shit. Better get to class. See you later!” He hurried down the hall. “Stylin’!” He reiterated, already far enough away to shout.

Luke called after Ash. “Aces!”

Luke. Who the fuck says ‘aces’?

Band rehearsal nearly every night meant that Luke couldn’t wear his new (lowkey restrictive) clothes in the afternoon. As soon as he got home, he changed out of whatever button down and jeans he wore that day and swapped them out for shorts, t-shirts and sandshoes. He couldn’t complain, however. He’d rather be comfortable at rehearsal anyways, with how demanding the show was this season.

Tonight was quite a rough run-through. The band director hadn’t been satisfied with the formations or the sound quality; to Luke, Watkins was downright scary.

Everyone else in the band could tell that rehearsal wasn’t going well. Something was just putting them off, but no one knew what.

Calum, who was up on the podium, grew more irritated by the second. Of course, Luke wasn’t able to pay much attention to that since he was busy running across a turf field with a six foot pole in his hands, which was adorned with several square feet of silk, all while dodging disgruntled clarinetists and trombonists. Whether he was fortunate or not, he only caught glimpses of Cal’s stiff arm movements and stern face.

The band dragged on miserably for the next hour. Luckily, when it finally came to a close, Watkins didn’t even bother with a speech; their band director sighed disappointedly and let the kids go. Luke, quite ashamed of himself, began wrapping up his silk while walking off the field. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t see Ashton pop up at his side.

“Yikes. Tonight was bad,” Ashton put plainly.

Luke snorted. “Tell me about it.”

They walked together for minute, stewing in their misery. Then, “Think I need to take my mind off it. Blow off some steam or something.”

“Me too,” the younger boy exhaled.

They continued a little longer, both simmering with dissatisfaction and something indescribable that always comes after a bad rehearsal.

“Would you wanna--” Ashton adjusted his harness, fingers twisting at the screws,“--would you wanna go get some pizza? Just veg out and stuff?”

Luke considered it, not expecting a request such as that. “Uh… yeah! Sure.” He smiled wide, looking at Ash. Suddenly he stopped both of them in their tracks. “Wait, is it cool if I invite Calum and Michael?”

Ashton remained quiet for a moment. Luke, of course, took this the wrong way. Before he could let a word out, though, the older boy spoke.

“Of course, mate! Yeah, no sorry--bit of a mental lapse. Yeah, no, that’s cool.”

“Sick, be right back!”

   Luke ran towards his friends, both way back on the practice field, doing drum major duties of some kind. By the time he made reasonable distance, he changed his pace back to walking. Luke, pathetically, was winded by that short run, and he strained to control his breathing. When he could hear more than the rush of blood in his ears, he heard Michael and Calum’s voices. They were arguing rather intently.

   “... just, Mikey, c’mon, we’ve been over this. It’s not very likely that it’ll happen.”

   Michael, ever the dramatist, fired right on back. “Okay, Cal. Whatever you say. I still think it’d be a good idea! I don’t get why you’re so closed-minded about it.”

Luke hung back, not sure if he should be hearing this.

To that, Calum only sighed and shook his head. “The answer is ‘no’, Michael. It will always be ‘no’.”

Luke could feel the fire fueling between his friends. Unconsciously, he knew that there needed to be a metaphorical fire extinguisher, and quickly. So, he happily threw himself into the fray.

“Hey, guys!”

He got a few disgruntled sounds from Michael (unsurprisingly), but Calum gave a more mature response.

“Hey, Luke… Have you been there long?”

   Luke shook his head vehemently. “No! Just, uh, just rolled on up. Wanted to talk, you know?”

   Calum eyed him suspiciously, but soon enough, let his suspicions go. “... M’kay. What did you wanna talk about?”

   “Oh, uh.” Luke had to remember why he came over here in the first place. “Well, uh, Ashton wanted to hang out and get some pizza… Care to join?... Both of you?”

   Calum and Michael, with very tense movements, glanced at each other and abruptly looked away.

   Michael spoke flatly. “Not tonight, mate. Got some games I planned on beating and shit.” With that, the crazy-haired boy left, slapping Luke on the shoulder as he went.

Calum, a frown dancing on his lips, attempted a friendly smile. It was half-hearted at best. “Thanks, bud, but me neither. Homework... I appreciate the offer.” He walked past Luke with his mace and some stray band equipment bundled up in his arms. “Have fun tonight.”

Jarred by his best friends’ transgression, Luke slouched his way to the band room, trying to wrap his head around what just happened. As he expected, the band had already cleared out, the drum majors lingering in Watkins’ closed office for some official business. What he didn’t expect was Ashton Irwin, sitting in the corner of the room, waiting. He couldn’t help the words as the tumbled out of his mouth.

“Ash, you’re still here?”

The older boy abruptly looked towards the Luke. “I was waiting for you, dude. Pizza? Remember?”

“... Right, I just didn’t think you’d wait.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Pause.

“So what’s the verdict?”

“On…?”

“Calum and Michael. They coming?”

“Oh!” Luke shook his head. “No, they, uh. I think they have stuff going on.” He checked back over at Watkins’ office, where Calum had emerged. “Or something like that.”

“Alright, cool. Let’s get going.” Ashton twirled his keys around his fingers. “I’ll drive.”

“You sure? We can go separately if that’s easier for you--”

“Nonsense! I don’t mind.”

Luke, unaccustomed to being the one taking rides from others, suppressed all his objections after that and followed Ashton. With the setting sun, it would’ve been hard to make out any shapes in the dark. The parking lot lights were on, and Ashton happened to park directly under one, which made maneuvering easier.

It was quite old, the car. A bit rusty here and there, and it groaned like a dinosaur when the engine turned over. However, the inside seemed homey. The seats were worn soft from time, and it smelled musky. Like… teakwood? Something manly, Luke thought to himself. The radio had been on some rock station, but the volume was turned low, so it was only a soft murmur in the background.

Luke found himself sighing.

Ashton, pulling out of the parking lot, glanced over, eyebrows knitted together. “Good, mate?”

He sighed again, relaxing into the seat. “Yeah, Ash. I’m good.” 

The pizza was everything they needed it to be. It was cheesy and gooey and just greasy enough. The two boys heartily chowed down on the large platter in front of them, barely bothering with plates.

The diner Ashton had brought them to was unfamiliar to Luke. In fact, he had rarely been to this side of the city. That didn’t hinder him any from the joy of the incredible, wonderful goodness that was this diner’s pizza.

   In the neon lighting, everything was cast in some ethereal glow. Some odd greens, blues and reds scattered throughout the tiny, empty room, and formed interesting shadows on the floor. The ‘50s theme--with squeaky leather-like cushions and cool silver metal framings--was a design Luke hadn’t seen often in the area. There were approximately two employees and two customers in attendance.

   Luke paused in between bites, studying Ashton’s features. Ashton pushed on, unaware of the boy’s stare. In the lighting, Ash’s face aged significantly. Not in a bad way, of course. He just seemed to look more wan, more tired--but also prettier. Luke couldn’t put his finger on it. Maybe Ashton always looked this pretty, but he’s just now seeing it. He wondered if he looked the same.

   Don’t be stupid, dude. Ashton isn’t into that.

   Luke felt a harsh tug in his gut anytime he even thought about the boy sitting in front of him. The mention of his name, the sight of him, a scrap of his homework, anything. Anything sent his head spinning.

   Luke knew that this meant he was something he didn’t want to be. Something that he never expected to be. When Ashton wasn’t there merely two months before, Luke ignored any doubts he may have had about his sexuality, and with ease. He simply brushed off his attraction to men as jealousy… but since the minute Ashton appeared, his walls came crashing down.

Probably around three in the morning a few days ago, Luke whispered, admitted, under his breath:

   I like guys. I like Ashton.

   Seeing him now, in the late-night glow of this decrepit hole-in-the-wall, Luke really knew this to be true. He couldn’t not like someone as beautiful, someone as genuine, as Ashton Fletcher Irwin.

   He bit into another slice of pizza, pondering. A question slipped past his lips into the space between them.

   “How’d you find this place?”

His voice almost disappeared into the abyss, it seemed. Everything was so quiet. So gentle.

   Ashton smiled, swallowing his last bite. He smiled like he had a secret, an old memory. “Few months ago… I was just driving around and saw it. Was kinda hungry, so I stopped in. Now, it’s uh…” he fiddled with some leftover crust, “it’s my favorite place.” The corners of the older boy’s mouth turned down slightly, yet Luke didn’t notice. “You know, I’ve never actually brought anyone else here before.”

   It was supposed to be question, but came out as a statement.

   Luke’s eyebrows shot up into his hairline. “Really?”

   Ash nodded. “And, honestly, I don’t care for pepperoni. I’m typically a just-cheese kinda guy.”

   Luke glanced at the scraps of pepperoni pizza and back to Ash, unsure of how to process this information. “Um. I feel honored?”

Was that the right question?

   Ashton physically shook himself from a pensive thought and replied. “Yes. Yes, you should definitely feel honored.”

   Luke smiled shyly. “Then, I do.”

   A second passed between them with no words spoken, just little grins and twinkling eyes. There was a spark in Luke’s chest. A hopeful, teensy flicker of a flame. Maybe Ashton felt it too.

Their waitress sauntered in, breaking the charged air.

“Hey, boys! How you doing? Need anything?”

“We’re doing great, Shirley. Thank you,” Ashton put kindly.

The pretty waitress--as if from nowhere--then procured a glass she had been hiding somewhere; Luke didn’t want to imagine how she was able to keep it hidden.

“Aw, Shirley, I can’t--” Ashton started.

“Of course you can. It’s on the house! For my favorite customer.” With a wink, the dark-haired girl went behind the vintage-style double doors, leaving the room an empty void again.

Ashton, shaking his head with good humor, picked two straws out of the nearby dispenser and held one out to Luke. “Like some? It’s strawberry…” He let out a small giggle.

Luke couldn’t resist his smile as it crept onto his face. “Love some.”

He grabbed the straw from Ashton’s grip, unwound the wrapping and plopped it into the glass. The older boy motioned to the cherry on top, but Luke shook his head. Ashton,  plucked the fruit from the whipped cream and tantalizingly dangled it in the air. Luke watched as Ash’s jawline protruded sharply under the taut skin. Ash chewed slowly, and, whether he was aware of it or not, and smirked sinfully. Luke swallowed thickly.

God damn.

The younger boy pushed aside the images in his head and focused solely on the strawberry milkshake. He focused on the closeness of their foreheads as the sipped from the glass at the same time. He focused on how when they both reached for their drink, their hands brushed for just milliseconds. His heartbeat thrummed in his throat.

He assumed he was imagining the blush on Ashton’s cheeks. Probably just a trick with the neon. Yeah, it’s just the lights.

He chuckled to himself, knowing he should know better. And he chuckled at the mantra that repeated in his head again, like clockwork. Nonetheless, Luke brushed off all of his unwanted thoughts and focused on the moment and the beautiful boy before him.

Not much later, Ashton dropped Luke off at school, where they had left Luke’s car hours earlier. Ash carefully parked right next to the old machine and shut off his engine. Together, the two sat in the still air, neither wanting to break this peaceful lull they were experiencing. It was something precious, fragile, new. They knew, though, that it was inevitable.

“Do you even know what time it is?” Luke asked from the passenger seat.

Ashton squinted at his watch in the dark. “Almost midnight, I’d say.”

The boys looked at each other and immediately burst into a fit of giggles.

“My mum’s gonna kill me,” Luke managed between splutters.

“Me too,” Ashton chimed, breathing heavily.

They tried to sit a while a longer. Luke, however, knew he had to go before his mother actually murdered him.

“Hey, Ash?”

“Hmm?”

“Um. Thanks, for tonight. I had a lot of fun.”

Ashton smiled through the darkness. “Of course, Luke. Thank you. I don’t think I’ve laughed like this in ages. It felt nice.”

Luke said nothing in response, only gave a soft smile; reluctantly, he opened the door and heaved his lanky frame out of the seat. In his own car, he pulled on the seatbelt and turned the engine over. At that, Ashton did the same, and once he was certain Luke was ready, set off himself.

The younger boy sat just a few minutes longer, relishing the new memories. He smiled once more to himself, shifted the car into gear, and took his time on the ride home.

[sweetlysilent]

Alone

Requested By: Nobody

Pairing: Stan Uris x Reader

Description: You had gotten lead away from the group, leading you to get locked in a room with Pennywise, portraying as your greatest fear, making you vulnerable and alone.

Warnings: Swearing, sadness, kind of violent??

Word Count: 1,916

A/N: So I was going to write a Wyatt Oleff fic but then I decided to write a Stan Uris one instead bc why not?? I also apologize in advance yIKES.

You could have sworn you were right behind everyone, they had clearly stated ‘DO NOT SPLIT UP’ or how Richie rephrased it 'DO NOT SPLIT UP OR YOU’RE FUCKED' and that was the last thing said outside the abandoned house.

You were all carefully looking around, the house wasn’t in great condition, it was old, dusty, overall super unsanitary, something Eddie was surely having an issue with.

“Guys, this place is so gross, can we please leave?” Eddie whined, as everyone huffed and or rolled their eyes in response.

“No, we need to keep looking.” Richie urged on, but deeply regretting ever entering this hellhole of a house.

“We just have to stick together alright?” Beverly spoke up, as everyone nodded their heads quickly.

You all were walking down a hallway, it had many doors, everyone was walking into one particular room when you heard a nose from the other end.

Your gut told you to say put, but your mind was overly curious as to what it was, but your heart told you not to go, that it was dangerous, and to listen to the group rules, 'do not split up.’

“Y/N.” The voice echoed, instantly catching you in a trance, everything and everyone around you vanishing, except the voice.

“Y/N come help me please!” The voice pleaded, it sounded familiar, it sounded like someone you knew, this instantly made you rush down to the other end of the hallway.

You ran into the room, only to see nobody in there, but you could of sworn you had just heard someone in here.

The door behind you suddenly flew closed, startling you, making you panic and try to open the door.

“Help! Someone let me out! Please!” You screamed, your fists colliding with the door, hoping someone would hear you.

“Y/N.” The voice appeared again, making you turn on your heel in an instant, revealing Stan.

Did he accidently wander down to this side of the hall too? Maybe he had heard the voice as well.

Your eyes widened slightly at the sight of him, a small smile appearing on your face as you realized you were now okay, that he was here with you, you weren’t alone anymore.

“Stan, thank god you’re here, I got lost somehow, I thought I was alone and..” You were talking fast, unable to stop the words from falling out of your mouth, until you realized he hadn’t said anything back.

“Stan?” You hesitantly questioned aloud, your eyes searching him over as he stood completely still.

“H-How exactly did you get in here? The door..” You turned to look back at the clearly closed door, then back at the boy, your brows furrowing.

“You’re wondering how I got in here.” Stan finally spoke, as you nodded, your breathing starting to pick up slightly.

“You see that’s the thing, I was in here, I called for you, and you came.” Stan smiled, making you smile slightly, you couldn’t help it, it was Stan, you’d always had a soft spot for him.

“And then when you came in, I wasn’t here, no, I was gone, and then the door closed, and now, here I am.” He smiled, his arms spread out as he motioned to himself being in the room.

“But.. But that’s not possible, there’s no other entrance in the room, you had to of been in here before.. otherwise..” You trailed off, your breath hitching in your throat as your eyes widened slightly.

“U-Unless y-you’re not him..” You whispered, your feet slowly backing you up to the door as you watched him intensely.

“Y/N, what are you talking about? It’s me. It’s Stan.” He smiled, starting to walk towards you, your breathing now more hectic.

You started banging on the door, screaming for anyone to come and help you.

Your brain was being played with, making you feel vulnerable and weak.

“Y/N, stop. Nobody is coming. Nobody cares. You’re alone.” He whispered in your ear, his breath hitting your neck, sending shivers down your spine and goosebumps down your arms.

“N-No, they d-do care!” You shouted, your eyes closed tightly as you felt his hand touch your shoulder gently.

“If they cared about you, why’d they leave you? Why’d they leave you all alone?” Stan taunted, as you choked out sobs.

“They w-wouldn’t do t-that.” You whimpered, making him laugh and turn you to face him, keeping you pressed against the door.

“And yet they did. They left you to die. They never cared about you Y/N, can’t you see that? I never cared about you.” He spat, his eyes narrowing as your heart slowly shattered.

This is what IT wanted, it wanted to make you feel vulnerable, alone, it wanted to portray as the person you cared about most, to make it seem as if they didn’t want you anymore, and whether it was really him or not standing before you, you believed him.

Your heart was shattering, your wall was crumbling down around you, tears were falling down your cheeks as you watched the boy in front of you smile wickedly.

“Stan wouldn’t leave me.” You whispered, trying to convince yourself, but only making the Stan in front of you laugh.

“God Y/N, you’re such an idiot! What don’t you understand? I don’t want you anymore, I never did, I only hung around with you because I felt sorry for you.” Stan spat, making more tears slip down your face as he grinned at you.

He knew he had finally cracked you, Pennywise had won.

His true form was now evolving before your eyes, his body becoming bigger, his white face with a evil red sharp toothed smile, along with his orange fire looking hair.

Fear spread throughout your whole body, this was it, this was how you were going to die.

You couldn’t believe that after everything you had been through, this was how your life was going to end.

You attempted to hit the door with your fists one last time, screaming at the top of your lungs for someone to hear you, they couldn’t have left you.

You screamed until the moment Pennywise’s hand wrapped around your throat, cutting off oxygen to your lungs, as he dangled you in the air.

Your hands gripped his arm harshly, trying to pry it off your throat, as he gave a sinister smile, his teeth becoming rows, making your eyes widen with pure and utter fear.

“Guys you really shouldn’t be touching anything, you don’t know what kind of diseases are on any of this, exactly why I bring my hand sanitizer.” Eddie ranted on, annoying the rest of the group.

“H-He has t-t-to be h-here.” Bill spoke, looking around the room, before entering a new one along with Richie.

“Hey guys I think I found something!” Beverly shouted, making everyone stop and go over to where she was.

It wasn’t much, just a random hole in the floor that lead to somewhere new, but it was something, it was progress.

“Hey guys.. Where's Y/N?” Stan spoke up, now noticing your absence from the group.

“I swear to god they were just here.” Mike commented, looking around the room for you.

“How long have they been gone?” Ben questioned, as everyone shrugged in response.

“Shit. We need to find Y/N now!” Stan shouted, as everyone started rushing out of the room, beginning to search everywhere.

“Y/N!”

“Y/N where are you!”

“Y/N can you hear us!”

They all shouted, but there was no response, fear was starting to take over everyone.

“Shit where did they go?” Richie shouted, before glancing at one door that he could of sworn was open earlier.

“Guys, wasn’t that door opened earlier?” Richie pointed out, as everyone glanced at each other before sprinting to the door.

“Y/N!” They all shouted, trying to open the door while banging their fists on it.

“Y/N open the door! It’s us!” Beverly shouted, while everyone else was too.

The other side of the door was quiet, you were still dangling in the air, your vision starting to become blotchy from the lack of oxygen to your brain.

You barely noticed when the door flew open, all of them rushing inside, their eyes widening at the sight before them, Pennywise holding you in a death grip.

They all started to attack him, making him drop you in the process before disappearing down a hall.

“Y/N! Oh my god are you okay?” Beverly frantically questioned, looking at you with concern.

“Shit is Y/N even breathing?” Richie questioned aloud, making Stan’s eyes widen as he placed his head down next to your nose.

“It’s faint, but they are breathing.” Stan told the group, making everyone even more worried than before.

“I can give mouth to mouth!” Richie volunteered, making everyone snort in response.

“No, I’ll do it.” Stan rolled his eyes at Richie before placing his lips on yours, blowing air into your mouth, hoping it would help you regain consciousness better.

He did it a few more times before you gasped loudly, your chest heaving as you quickly scooted away from all of them.

“N-No.” You whimpered, breathing heavy as you cowered against the wall.

“You all left me!” You shouted, tears falling down your cheeks as you started to panic.

“No, Y/N, we didn’t, we’ve been here the whole time, we would never leave you.” Beverly tried to explain, crouching down next to you carefully.

You glanced up slightly, looking at her before your eyes drifted to Stan, your heart breaking once more.

“Y-You said everyone left me.. That nobody cared, that you didn’t care about me..” You whispered, not once breaking eye contact with Stan, who’s face expression dropped.

“No, no, no, Y/N, that wasn’t me.. Hey.. Look at me..” He carefully sat down in front of you, placing his hand gently on your chin so you’d look him in the eyes.

“We all care about you, you know we’d never leave you. Never.” Stan explained carefully, placing his other hand on your knee softly.

“You know that I’d never leave you, I care about you too much to ever do that.” Stan whispered, rubbing his thumb gently on your knee as your eyes flicked back and forth while looking at his.

“Y-You said I was alone.. That you only hung around with me because you felt sorry for me..” You whispered, a tear falling down your cheek.

Stan’s heart broke the second those words left your mouth, he should of known this would happen, that Pennywise would use him as a way to hurt you.

“Y/N, you know that isn’t true.” Stan whispered softly, his own eyes now watering.

“That wasn’t me, this, this is me.” Stan grabbed your hand gently, placing it on his chest where you felt his heart beating, convincing you he was real.

“Stan..” You whispered once more, your lip quivering as you wrapped your arms around his neck, sobs escaping your lips.

Stan held you tightly in his arms, a tear falling down his cheek as well as everyone else’s, if they had only been a few seconds later you wouldn’t be where you were right now.

You felt Stan’s hands rub your back gently, trying to help you relax, which he knew would take some time, he knew how bad Pennywise had gotten to you, so he said the one thing he knew you needed to hear.

“I will always be here, you’ll never feel alone again.”

Tags: @the-crime-fighting-spider