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usmsgutterson · 1 year ago

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hello! i was so excited to see you have requests open! so, without further ado:

I wanted to request a fem!reader x nikolai lantsov, smut/fluff combo, fic with the "one character kissing the other character in a spot that they’re insecure about" prompt

tysm! so excited to see what you write! <3

Nothing At All- N.L x fem! reader

Hi! I am so sorry that this took me so long--I meant to do it the day it came in but I've been veeery sidetracked by novel stuff lately and between that and getting stuff queued for when I start working in the fall plus the random wave of demotivation that hit me this week, my requests kind of slipped my mind a bit.

Thank you for sending this in and after our convo because no specific spot was specified and I wanted to double check, I decided to go with a spot where I am also very insecure--the thighs! I hope that you enjoy this fic and thank you so much for requesting it!

THIS FIC IS 18+. Minors, do not interact and if you do, you will be blocked once I spot you in my notifs.

Fic type- this is the best kind of smut--FLUFFY SMUT!!

Warnings- oral (fem receiving) and some not-great editing on my end--I rushed this because a new episode of Ghost Files comes out today and I REALLY want to watch it lol

You were grinning as Nikolai pressed a kiss against the space behind your ear, the two of you relaxing in your shared bed on one of the few evenings wherein you both had absolutely nothing to do.

All you could feel was the press of Nikolais body against yours, the warmth of the silken sheets as Nikolai pressed kiss after kiss down the space behind your ear and your neck, turning your brain into water as his lips moved deftly down your neck and across your collarbones.

One of your hands was in his hair, the other on his waist, laughter occasionally escaping your lips as Nikolai moved with a carefully delighted kind of precision.

"I love you," he said, hands sliding up your thighs and finding your hips. "I've missed you lately."

You'd both been so busy with things around the palace that you'd hardly seen each other in weeks. That moment was the first in far too long wherein you'd found yourselves in bed and able to do more than just a kiss to the cheekbone in good morning or goodnight.

You'd missed the feeling of his hands on you, the feeling of his lips pressing against any available area of skin, and the return to that part of your life felt as good as waking up and finding that it was raining outside, as good as it was to walk the halls while you went about your day with the pitter-patter of rain against the windows continuing on in the background, drowning out most of the other noise.

"I love you too," you whispered, hands going to his bare shoulders as his hands undid the buttons of one of his shirts, which you'd taken to wearing to bed instead of your typical nightwear. "Fuck, I've missed this so much."

His hands slipped from your hips to your lower back, pressing himself against your naked form as the long sleeved shirt slipped down your shoulders and past your elbows, leaving you exposed in front of him.

He bent up a bit, drinking your form in like he was a man who'd been dying of thirst. You fought the urge to curl in on yourself in a flashing moment of insecurity, finding surprise in the laugh that came up from your throat as Nikolais lips found your collarbone and kissed down your chest, past your navel.

You felt him smile against your skin in response to the sound of your laughter, hand reaching up to find yours and giving it a squeeze.

"I love you," he said against your skin.

"I love you more," you responded, pressing your eyes closed as his lips moved down one side of your lower stomach, finding your right thigh with a bit of pause.

Your thighs had always been an area about which you were insecure, and your eyes opened when you noticed Nikolai had paused for he knew too of those insecurities.

"Is it okay if I--" his eyes bore into yours, the eye contact direct. He was being cautious, careful, incase the press of his lips against your thighs was too much--in case it amplified the insecurities you felt about them, in case you just weren't even up to the idea of it.

You glanced up to the light alabaster colored ceiling for a few moments before meeting his gaze once again, nodding.

He loved your thighs, so he said, and so he proved as his lips pressed against them. Your thighs had always been one of your biggest insecurities and Nikolai was good at proving the love he held for them time and time again--a hand was always on your thigh in meetings, a hand tracing shapes into the skin of your thigh as the two of you drifted off to sleep, a hand gently against your thigh when he found you sitting somewhere shady in the palace grounds during the hottest days in summer and bent down to drop a kiss onto your lips.

He kissed them delicately, kindly, like they were priceless pieces of art which he appreciated endlessly.

"Love these," he whispered against your skin, eliciting a laugh from you as he pressed a kiss to your inner thigh before moving from your right to your left.

He took his time, leaving you a mess by the time that he was done focusing on your thighs and pressed his lips against your clit, sucking it gently with eyes fluttering closed as his arms moved under your thighs, resting there as he licked a stripe up your folds.

One of your hands found his as your eyes fell closed and you pressed your head against the pillow, moaning somewhat lewdly into it as you pressed your face against it thereafter.

Sex had been something at which Nikolai had been absurdly good, just as all of the other talents he had. He'd proved it time and time again and that time was no different--he'd managed to make you something of a writing mess within mere minutes, groaning as your free hand fell to his hair and gave the hair at the base of his neck a gentle tug.

You felt his groan against yourself and with little more effort from that point, you were releasing and moaning his name lewdly into the room.

He grinned to himself, licked his lips and pressed kiss after kiss to your thighs once more after a brief asking of consent--which you gave with an enthused nod as your head fell back against the pillow, skin glowing with post-orgasm euphoria--and feeling very content with things himself, not the least bit worried about his own pleasure.

He gave you a kiss before you left to clean yourself up and when you returned, had cleaned the bed to the best of his ability and put the shirt you'd taken off into a hamper that would be taken the following day by someone on the cleaning staff to be washed and returned to his wardrobe.

He grabbed you another and joined you in the bathroom as you washed your face, pressing a kiss to the base of your neck as you redid the buttons and smiled at the feeling of his touch.

"Anything to do tomorrow?" You asked.

"Nothing at all," Nikolai said. "I asked that my advisors clear out my schedules for the rest of the week. Haven't had time with my beloved in far too long, so it seems. You don't have anything to do, do you?"

"Zoya and I handled everything in need of doing last night and this morning. My schedule is completely clear until Monday."

Nikolai grinned as his arms wrapped around your waist. "I'm sure we can think of ways to occupy our time until then."

You smirked, pressing a peck to his lips. "Off the top of my mind, I can think of several."

Nikolai took your hand and let you lead him out of the bathroom, laughing a bit as the two of you once again approached your bed.

"Do tell," he said as he fell back and took you with him, neither of you eager to lay over the sweat stain that wouldn't dry for at least thirty minutes. "I am indeed eager to hear your ideas."

You laughed. "They start here," you said.

You pulled him into a breathtaking kiss, and Nikolais arms found your waist as he grinned. The two of you had a very fun few days ahead indeed.

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #king of scars

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potogawaryuiki · 1 year ago

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Out of the IMPASTO brush set, which are the ones you typically use?

Sorry for my veeery late response! I use these out of the IMPASTO frequently. But I use other brushes other than this brush set.

'DRAW - charcaol flat scratch'

'DRAW - charcoal flat side rough'

brush that costomized a bit of 'DRAW - charcoal flat side fade'

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fullscoreshenanigans · 2 years ago

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That you color-coded it and everything

My unpopular opinion about this character: He‘s not as dumb as fandom sometimes depicts him. After all, he already knows where southeast is. No, seriously, Don has to be incredible smart, way smarter than he is usually depicted. He survived in Grace Field, of all farms, easily up until his tenth year of live and even beyond. As much as I like goofball-Don, we should never shove his intelligence aside and underestimate the boy.

Is Don being dumb a genuine commonly held belief? I get that maybe with casual offline fandom‚ and he’s not appreciated as much as some other characters online‚ but do people really consider him dumb? ’s sad.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Hmm, none, really! My headcanon is that he got a hard time in the human world wooing the ladies who have no interest in him (stupid, stupid decision, but it can‘t be helped). Maybe he finds his significant other one day, maybe he learns he‘s happy the way he is. Dunno.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Gilda and Don! Add Ayshe to the mix and I would read a whole series about their adventures. I also like to imagine Violet teaching him a lot of stuff to survive in the demon world on their journeys to Cuvitidala or the Seven Walls, including veeery creative swear words.

I’ve defaulted to him being the “token straight”‘ just because of the “I can’t wait to find a cute girl to date” line in S1e01, but it’s not really a hard headcanon I have for him.

That said, I don’t really have any romantic ships for him either out of the canon cast? Gildon isn’t bad or anything, but I’m such a big Gildayshe shipper (my favorite ship for both girls) that I usually see him as a lesbian ally for them lol. I’d like to think with how loving and empathetic he is that he’d have a successful dating life by the time he hits his late teens (unless he’s aroace which is also a viable option).

Wolf Pack Trio for ultimate friendship between them 👏

And the friendship with Violet is !!! given all the time they spent together on the Seven Walls search; we truly were robbed of so many interactions between those six.

I have the vaguest inklings of a fanfic idea where they’re being chased by demons and they all have to split up, with Don and Ray going one way together. Ray ends up being injured in the process of saving Don—not to the point where if he doesn’t get immediate help he’ll die, but enough where he’s visibly haggard—and Don berates himself for being careless enough that Ray had to save him like that, and then the only line I’m 100% certain on being in there as Ray’s response:

Ray: I’m sorry I’ve been such a shitty brother that you didn’t think I’d try.

Because even back when he was purposefully being aloof toward Don, he never truly wanted anything bad to happen to him, so he reverts to this sort of self-deprecation in an attempt to take the blame away from him, as a way to chide himself because shit he thought he’d been doing better at letting the people around him knows he cares about them in his own quiet way, and also just as a self-loathing habit he hasn’t fully grown out of yet.

Anyways it isn’t long before the demons return, and Don’s able to handle them long enough for reinforcements from the other kids to help finish them off, and Ray’s patched up. Not sure if there would be enough time for them to talk things out in the immediate aftermath of Ray’s line or if they do it later on when they’re both the only two up staring at the fire, but either way there’s a hug in there at some point.

My unpopular opinion about this character: She did forgive Norman too easily after he lied about finding Mujika and Sonju „to protect them“. I‘ve got the feeling deep down, Gilda won‘t forgive someone as fast as maybe Don, and making snippy side comments to Norman about his wrong doings would have been hilarious. She managed to frighten Emma and Yuugo after them being reckless again, she could surely could have done this with Norman too.

Yesss I’d totally love for her to diverge from Don’s reaction and take a bit more time on this matter with Norman having to do more to regain her trust.

002 - Norrayemma & OliZack

003 - Don, Gilda, and/or Matilda

@fullscoreshenanigans, this took some time, but here I am! Hope you like my lil essay 😊

Keep reading

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smblmn · 2 years ago

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Promote-Your-Fic

A fun way for writers to promote one fic they think deserves more attention. Add a comment from the fic if you want.

Okay, I feel a little bit weird about doing this, but let's go.

I was tagged by @mallpretzles, thank you so much! 💖 sorry for being so late, I love it when you guys tag me on things but my life has been a little bit chaotic lately.

On the Outside Looking Through

A Schitt's Creek Pride& Prejudice AU

Summary: Alexis chooses that moment to wave enthusiastically in their direction –apparently ready for them to meet her new acquaintances– so David sighs and stands up from the bench, taking Stevie’s hand to lift her up too. The whole group turns to look at them then and David can see the moment the accountant –as he is calling him in his head, because ‘very nice ass’ somehow sounds worse– looks at David and their gazes meet. David’s stomach plummets to the ground at the immediate change in his demeanor. The man goes from relaxed and carefree to tense and annoyed? –Is it annoyance what David sees in his face?– in the span of two seconds. He drops the arm he has over the cute redhead’s shoulders and looks at the floor.

Why I wrote it: I've seen the 2005 Pride & Prejudice movie an unhealthy amount of times and after one of those times I thought: hey! why don't I put these guys in that situation? So I started writing it last october (I think), before being active in the fandom and just for fun. I didn't have any intention of publishing it because I had never posted anything before, but then the SC MediaFest happened and one of the prompts was for a P&P AU and despite all my doubts some friends told me I would regret it if I didn't post it, so I did. I'm pretty sure having that deadline was the only thing that made me finish it.

Why I'm plugging it: I spent a lot of time thinking about the ways in which this story could take place in a modern setting and I think I did a good job of blending the two worlds.

A couple of comments: I'm not exaggerating when I say I love and appreciate every comment I've gotten. I didn't expect people to read it to begin with, so to receive such a positive response is amazing. There were even people who commented on every chapter, which really blows my mind 💗💗

Really enjoyed this! I'm commenting on this chapter because I thought the rain scene was so well done. Patrick's energy was palpable. I thought you handled the adaptation from the source material really well, keeping the spirit of the story here without it being a word-for-word retelling. Thanks for writing! by @wordthieve (the rain scene was the first one I wrote -though I changed it a lot in the end- It's such an important scene and I was so worried it wouldn't have the emotional impact the original has that this comment meant a lot).

The Sebastien storyline is so smart and makes so much sense! Omg the scene in the car, I thought for sure they would kiss. And the Your Song scene! I was losing my mind!!! by @petrodobreva (because I wasn't sure I could make Sebastien work as Wickham so someone telling me it was smart made me soooo happy).

This exceeded my expectations in every way. You hit all the notes of my favourite story, but made it fresh and interesting, so told the story in an unexpected way. I'll be coming back to this time and time again. Loved it. Beautiful work. by @obsessedwithdavrick

I'm not tagging anyone because I'm veeery late for this.

#tag games

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little-birdseeker · 4 years ago

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Relaxing in Kugane

[A short story i wrote together yesterday. Because i really wanted to write something again, so, well... i did. Hope you'll enjoy it! <3]

With a deep relaxing sigh, Isabelle let herself sink into the warm water, especially with a light breeze that let the steam around her dance a little bit. Hot springs were the best, period! She had to show Nalama them someday, and her parents as well, yes! Didn’t mom tell her that he complained regularly about his backache? The hot spring suuurely would work wonders for his back, especially if someone would give him a massage - something she experienced herself firsthand, although his back would be waaay worse than hers, deeefinitly!

But as this was a hot spring for everyone, she was wearing her own bikini, of course, unlike in her bath at home. But the hot spring had some very important advantages: first of all, she didn’t have to clear it herself, and second, she was able to meet plenty of new people here! Like the old man the last time. He had told her about various stories from his life, and as it turned out, he was a skilled weaver himself. Or had been, as his body wasn’t as precise as in the past. But he wanted to teach her this and that, especially some techniques from the far East she hadn’t learned in Ul’dah! They juuust had to find some time for it, but that shouldn’t be too complicated, yes!

She also had met some new customers in this hot spring, as well as new friends. For most of them, her pointy and fluffy ears had made them curious, as Miqo’te weren’t as usual around here as they were in Eorzea, while others… well, she wasn’t sure, but they had their reasons as well! And the last group of girls she had met, they had shown her this little spot! Perfect for smaller girls like herself, as the water was juuust deep enough to reach her shoulders while sitting! And it was also a liiittle bit hidden, so not everyone was able to take a peek! Not that she minded, but at times it was a nice change of pace.

With another sigh, Isabelle let herself sink a little more into the water and enjoyed the moment as she closed her eyes. Yes, life was good.

After dozing for a while, she heard some footsteps. Or… more like the splashing of someone's feet, heading towards her little spot. A quiet “Oh.” could be heard, followed by... silence. That didn’t sound right! Isabelle opened her eyes a bit, just to see one, no, two guys standing a few meters in front of her. Were they staring? Her ears twitched a bit, as she was examining the nasty intruders with her half-opened eyes. Well, she couldn’t blame them, if they were staring, but still… she was juuust enjoying some alone time! Couldn’t they have just come like… later?

“Hmmm? What iiis it?”, the red cat girl asked a few moments later while opening her eyes completely, as both of the guys didn’t bother to do anything at all. “Oh,uhhh... sorry! I, uh, we thought you were sleeping and didn’t want to disturb. Right?”, the smaller guy said while looking at his comrade. “Uhm… yes. Yes, we didn’t want to wake you up! Didn’t think someone would be here.” Isabelles eyes wandered from one guy to the other, back and forth. Both of them had rather long black hair, with a quite muscular body. With some scars on them? And while the bigger, bulkier guy wore some greyish shorts, the ones of the smaller were black. She didn’t know them, but as far as she knew… they looked more like someone from the forge. Or the barracks.

“Well, but I'm here, as you see!” “Uhm, yeah. We, uhm… noticed”, Small Guy responded with a nod.

“But as we’re here now… hope you don’t mind some company”, Big Guy added and went ahead to sit down near her right side, from where he continued to look at her.

“Right, right. It’s our usual spot, you know?” Without even waiting for Isabelle to object, he sat down left from her. At least they did leave some distance. Isabelle gave a soft sigh, but it was too late now. Well at least she was able to talk to new people!

“Ahhh, nothing beats a bath in a hot spring, ain’t it?” Big Guy gave off a laugh while looking at his buddy, before taking another glance at Isabelle.

“Sure is, sure is. Especially after a long day with a friend”, Small Guy agreed and strechted his legs in the water. “Ah, but don’t forget our lovely company we have here today! Would you mind giving us a name so we know which beauty is here with us?”

“Iiisabelle”, the Miqo'te answered truthfully with a smile, leaving out her surname. She would not make that mistake again! “And youuu are?”

“Oh, a beautiful name for a beautiful woman, i see. Well, i’m Koyo, and my friend here-” Koyo, or Big Guy as Isabelle had called him, pointed to Small Guy. “That’s Tetsu.”

“You new here? Can’t remember to have seen such a lovely woman with, uhm…” Tetsu gestured with his hands while trying to find the right words. “Such, uhm… cute ears, yeah.”

“And we see lots of people everyday. Guards, you know? You know the Sekisegumi, don’t you?”, Koyo Guy Tetsu explained, having his eyes still locked on her. “We’re under the people all day.”

“Ohhh, so you can swing a sword around? Slish! Slash! Like this?” Isabelle gestured with her arms, as if she was swinging a sword around, although it looked more like she was a danger to all present persons if she really had a sword in her hands.

“Yeah…. like that”, Big Guy Koyo noded, but was somehow distracted - probably by her awesome presentation of sword fighting skills!

“But nooo… I'm here since, uhhhh…” Isabelle slowly tapped at her cheek, her eyes turned toward the sky, before she tipped on her fingers as if she was counting. “Uhm… at least two years! I think! Yes!”

“For so long?! How did we-? Well, uhum”, Small Guy Tetsu caughed. “Anyway, what brings such a beautiful woman here? To this lovely city and this hot spring?”

“Oh uhm… I'm a weeeaver! Learning new techniiiques, sewing dreeesses…. aaall kinds of stuff!”

“And you need to relax a bit after work, right? Ah, we doing the same”, Big Guy Koyo laughed. “Oh what would I give for some sake now. But no, nothing is allowed here. Pfah…”

“Yeah, it’s a shame. We should go and drink some after, whatcha think, Koyo? Isabelle, you should come too, we know where to get the best sake in town.”

“Hmm… Iii will think about it. But for now, i juuust want to relax here a bit!”

“Of course, of course”, Koyo nodded. “Nothing against a bit of relaxation. I mean, we have a great view here…”

“Yeah…”, his buddy agreed with him.

They were right, the view was amazing. You could see the sea from the hot spring, see the incoming and departing ships, without looking directly into the sun. Some seagulls were screeching nearby, and the sound of the nearby waterfall was soothing. Although… both of them weren’t looking at the sea right now. Maybe they knew it a bit too well, Isabelle thought. Or… well were they staring at her, she wondered…?

She didn’t give it much thought though. “Yes, i looove the view!”, she answered with a smile. “But you aaaren’t looking at all! Look how beeeautiful the sun is reflected by the sea! I looove to see it!”

“Oh, uhm, yeah, uhm… i got… distracted a bit, yeah”, Small Guy Tetsu stuttered.

“We’re just captivated by your beauty, that’s all. Right? Also… have to admit, you’re quite big for such a small lady, wouldn’t you say?”

“Hmmm…? Ohhh! You mean theeese!” With a sudden realization Isabelle looked down on her chest, which was floating a little bit on the water. “Thaaat’s what you have been looking at!” Why hadn’t she realized it sooner? Well, not that she minded though, they looked nice. But still, intense staring was still veeery much rude!!

“Uhm… yeah…”, Small Guy Koyo nodded slowly. “What did you expect? And they come with a cute face too, right?”, Big Guy Koyo laughed. “Suits you well!”

“They do have a gooood size, yes!”, Isabelle giggled and gave her chest a little proud squish. “But you have staaared enough, right?”

“Oh come on, can you blame us to admire such a great view? Can’t see that anyday, can you?” “Uhm, i caaan…”, she corrected rather rude Big Guy Koyo, who was still staring at her.

“Oh, you can, but what about us? How big are they anyway? They are practically huge, not to say-” “Biiig enough! Thaaat’s what i can say!” Her snappy answer surprised Big Guy Koyo, but he didn’t bother for long.

“Well, that’s something I would say…”, Big Guy responded with a suggestive laugh, which Isabelle responded with ‘Wouldn’t be toooo sure about that…’ in her thoughts, even though the guy was at least two heads bigger than her.

“Buuut i’m here for relaxation, so pleeease don’t bother me!” With those words, Isabelle leaned back and closed her eyes again, trying to ignore both of the brutes.

“Urgh, why do you always have to be so…”, Isabelle heared Small Guy Tetsu talking to his friend, probably. Not that she was interested anymore - those were juuust the usual idiots. Those that weren't interested in herself, but her body. People she wouldn’t want to get to know any further.

“Don’t know watcha mean. I was friendly, right?”

“That’s not- So, now what?!”

“Well, it’s not like she could stop us if we do something like-”

As soon as his hand touched her breast, Isabelle jumped. With a loud SWOOSH, all the steam around the hot spring was blown away, as magical wind blew away from her. Everyone in the hot spring could see the waves in the water, created by the sudden air strike. Isabelle's right arm pointed forward while she was standing in the hot water, while the Big Guy, responsible for the sudden outburst, was lying a few meters away on top of his friend, several meters away from Isabelle. He had a big bruise in the middle of his chest, probably from the magic attack Isabelle had launched directly at him.

An “Urgh…” came from both of them while trying to get onto their feet again. “What was that fo-” “Nooo touchy!”, Isabelle interrupted Big Idiot Koyo, while her voice, still as high as usual, but far louder than you would normally expect, sounded through the hot spring. “And nooo looky for you as well! Leeeave me alone!”

Both men looked again at the small cat lady in front of them. To be fair, she was still cute, even with her angry face, but something seemed off. Especially as the steam, which was rebuilding slowly, seemed to spin around her rather fast, as if, yes… as if there was still a large amount of wind aether gathered around the Miqo’te.

“Okay, okay, got it. Didn’t do anything, though, but sure, if you say so… Come, Tetsu, let’s leave this beast alone. Should have known better after seeing the ears.”

“Yeah, still an animal at heart. What a shame.”

Isabelle tried to ignore the words, although they did hurt a little. But she knew the real animals here, and it wasn’t her, that was for sure!

After they left, she sank into the hot waters once again, trying to relax for real now. The nerves of some men… really. Just because she was small! Why couldn’t they all be gentlemen like… like Tatara, yes! Or… or like Redolent Rose! Shure, he had taken a peek every now and then, but at least he did it respectfully! She gave a deep sigh and sank a bit further into the water, where she blew a few bubbles like she did in her own bathtub. Well… at least they were gone. And as it wasn’t the first time something like this happened, although the others didn’t go as far as to touch her chest… the owner would understand what happened this time. Again. She should tell him about it later. But for now… finally, it was time for some relaxing!

#isabelle birdseeker #writing #story #my writing #about her~

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underaswift-sunrise · 4 years ago

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1) Good morning Gloria! Hope you had a good rest! No, sadly I had to temporarily stop learning dance during my GCSEs to focus on exams. But then my dance teacher went back to India, and I never picked it up since then. Hahah I totally feel you. Went for my first hip hop class and the first thing the instructor told was to loosen up, and coming with my classical background that was not happening. But that is also why I want to keep trying and get it.

2) Yeah it is hard to find motivation when you're just stuck indoors. That is very true!! I really hope the situation improves soon. Question for you! How did you get into the MDZS fandom, which adaptations have you tried and which did you enjoy the most? Hope you have a great day ahead! Sending you all the love and positive vibes! Take care and stay safe! -M :)x

Hi M! :D Sorry for the late reply, I like to sit down and have some time to answer to asks! I surprisingly rested quite well last night: that means without waking up randomly at 5am or needing an hour to fall asleep 😆

Ahh I got into this fandom after watching cql! I kept seeing a person I followed reblogging gifs from the show and I was intrigued! Story time: I started watching it back in March when I was stuck in my apartment abroad because the theatre closed down and there were no flights to go back home! I stayed there for a month and a half and after two weeks of not seeing anyone I began feeling veeery lonely but one day PUF! cql appeared and saved that quarantine!! 😂 I remember some days I watched 5 episodes in a row, I couldn't stop! My favorite memory is sitting on the couch sobbing because of the golden core reveal scene, and before that for Lwj giving Shuanghua back to Song Lan (I'll never shut up about that moment); since I was alone I could cry as much as I wanted! 😆 I'm still in the process of listening to the audio drama, which is amazing! Have you listened to it? :) It made me have even more feelings about the Yi City arc 😭 I'd like to read the novel too but I hate reading on screens... It gives me terrible headaches after a while and I cannot immerse myself in the story as I'd love to! For now, I can only say I loved cql immensely, and I think I haven't processed all my feelings about it yet! Also because I tend to have very strong responses to stories I love and it takes me a second/third rewatch to pinpoint why some things left such a big impression on me! How about you? ☺️

Wow this got long, I'm sorry! 😆 I just really love to talk about cql! Sending a lot of positive vibes your way as well, have a great day! :D 💕

#mdzsnetcc #ask #when I start to ramble it's the end 😂

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wordstrings · 4 years ago

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Inbox dump

(brace yourselves, I’m including the timestamps because these have been sitting forever and you may literally forget ever having sent one of these because they’re from so long ago 😬)

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Anonymous said: March 11th 2014 *Clears throat* Non-canon verse, uni AU probably *strums guitar and takes a deep breath* DUEEEEE TO A COMPUTING errORRR, dean and gabe are stuck as roomatesssssssss, whilesamandcascanbestucktogethertoo that'snotaneccesitybutitwouldbegreaaaaaaaaattttttttt, and veeery soon it turns into something of a friendship BUT THEEEENNNN dean fights with saaAAAM and gabe is like "dude stop being so upset" aND FLUFF HAPPEeeeeeEEEEEEeens! *stands up and bows* tyvm for accepting debriel though like omg <3

I’ve been rewatching some of Supernatural seasons 5 and 6 this past weekend, and it reminded me how much I love and miss Gabriel. I still maintain that Debriel is a super-underrated ship. The manic-chaos potential is *muah*. (see: #Debriel)

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Anonymous said: August 7th 2018 psst... light back tickles while cuddling in bed are pure™ and wholesome™

Good shit good shit good shit

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Anonymous said: September 19th 2018 I love science and go to public seminars as often as I can. I walked in to the most recent one (which I had picked at random), and it was on the science of tickling. There were demonstrations. There were hand gestures and finger wiggling. There were in depth descriptions of the anatomy and physiology behind ticklish spots. It was legitimately your Amateur Production’s fic, and I was Kevin. Worst of all it was 2 hours long. I think I died during it and my soul was sucked into hell.

Uhhhhhh where can I get a copy of the slide deck?? Asking for a friend. (see: #series: Amateur Production)

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Anonymous said: September 23rd 2018 your art skills have me shook in the best possible way

aaaahh thank you! Fun fact: I went to art school and even took illustration as a concentration area but I’ve hardly drawn anything for like ten years. When I do draw, it’s usually because there are feelings that I don’t wanna do words about. (see: #strings does art)

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Halo!anon said: September 27th 2018 A small, sinful part of Castiel had the urge to gloat. It was somewhat dampened by the fact that Dean was still under the impression that being abducted is peak romance."I can't believe you went out of your way to set up our second date!" He'd squealed, as Castiel tightened his restraints. - little excerpt of a sequel to Date Nights with Demons i had planned for months but abandoned. halo!anon

Your demented version of Demon!Dean is so entertaining 😄 (see: Date Nights with Demons)

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Anonymous said: November 6th 2018 Aaaaah your Gabriel / Kali drabble was adorable, I can't help but love seeing our mighty archangel reduced to a mass of giggles, and you write Gabriel so so well <3. I love your writing your stories always brighten my day ^^

It’s so rare for him to let his guard down, isn’t it? But when he does, he has a grand old time of it. :) (see: this drabble)

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sarah-lou-who said: November 8th 2018 1/4 Boo! The ghost of my online presence in the community is peeking its head in because I need help. I don’t have a platform or following to sound an alarm, so I’m using my platonic tumblr wife’s platform and following for me, because that’s what platonic tumblr wives do. Right? Anyway, I’m very actively fixated on Attack on Titan atm. You know this very well. You also know my predicament. I seem to have exhausted the entire supply of tickly AoT content I’m interested in that exists currently. 2/4 So, if you’re willing to publish these for me, I’m crying out into the vast TFB lands hoping that there’s someone out there to answer the call. I am in desperate need of tickly AoT content. I don’t know if anyone around here writes for it much these days. I haven’t found anyone. And I know beggars can’t be choosers, but it can’t be helped; I really only care if Eren is involved. Even better would be Levi, but I haven’t found ANYTHING involving him, so I feel like asking for that is futile. 3/4 I digress. Even after all this time I can’t keep my asks less than 50 parts long. So my goal here is that someone, somewhere, will by chance come across these, and be able and willing to either write fic of the tickly variety for Eren and/or Levi from Attack on Titan, or direct me to someone who can, if they know a person who knows a person who knows a person. (Sidenote, hi anyone who still remembers me! It’s Sarah, the more ticklish half of Leerah. I’m doing good and I miss you!) 4/4 (I hope you’re all doing well!) Thank you for letting me take advantage of your devoted followers, Strings! Love yaaa!!!

Ah, my platonic tumblr wife Sarah returns! (Digitally, anyway. Reality-wise, we hang out all the time and it’s probably very rude of me to have not published this ask for so long!) I keep teasing her that she has a Type, and that is dark-haired sulky badass who’d probably make a wicked ‘ler – AoT Levi, SPN Cas, FMA Roy, etc. So anyway, if anyone knows of somewhere I can point her to find the content she’s (still) craving, lmk!

Anonymous said: October 23rd 2019 I’m sorry if this is invasive in any way, but how is Sarah doing? I’ve been absent from Tumblr for a couple years and I see that her blog is now deactivated. I was just wondering if she’s doing alright and if she’s still around here on a different blog maybe?

See above! She doesn’t have a TFB community blog anymore, but she’s doing well. We’re quarantine buddies and helping each other out a lot. Very kind of you to ask! <3

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Anonymous said: December 2nd 2018 Hi, sorry to bother you but do you know what happened to prodigal-anon’s blog? It seems to have been deleted. Sorry again if you’ve been asked this before

No worries, friend! Here’s an answer for you!

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Anonymous said: December 13th 2018 I LOVE THE LOOPY SERIES! I love it so much, is there any chance you’ll be doing a part four? I’d give anything to see Cas and Dean tickle each other, it would be so cute 😍

Despite all evidence to the contrary, I haven’t entirely stopped writing... and Loopy 4 is one of those unfinished pieces that has seen a few additions lately. :) I’ve learned not to make promises about when something might get finished and posted, but I genuinely do believe this may be one of the first things that shows up once I’m ‘back in the game.’ Stay tuned... (see: #series: Loopy)

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Anonymous said: January 1st 2019 No no no you can't just stop there! I need more fluffy destiel with tickles and kissing! Pretty please?

I believe this is in response to Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight. Don’t you worry, anon – Dean and Cas are not done being fluffy on this blog!

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1832wasalongtimeago said: January 25th 2019 Hi I just wanted to pop in and say the Maintenance series is amazing!! The second part was doing things to my poor heart I’ve read it like 5 times already. You’re such an amazing writer and thank you fo writing for us!

I’m very flattered, but I can’t take credit for the Of Maintenance series – that’s the lovely work of ask-flip-frost! It does things to my poor heart, too, so you’re in good company. :)

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Anonymous said: January 26th 2019 Sam Winchester can take a lot of things. The one thing he CAN'T take? Someone using baby talk on him when he's being tickled. He collapses into a puddle of helpless giggles faster than a house of cards in a stiff wind.

Precious Sammy just needs to laugh and be held, doesn’t he? <3

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Anonymous said: May 17th 2019 Thor needs tickles. So. Damn. Much.

Oh this was from right after Endgame came out. Thor did make me feel some sads there. :( Poor bab.

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Anonymous said: July 25th 2019 hi! i’ve read your wonderful fics forever but i’ve never really sent anything like this before so i don’t really know what to say.. but i had a destiel tickly thought and really wanted to share it with somebody, so here goes i guess- dean is taking too long in the shower so cas decides to use his mojo from the other room to speed things along. and listens to dean’s echoey laughs through the door. that’s all. sorry if this is weird! okay bye have a good one

This is not weird and I may have delayed in telling you any of my feelings about it but I definitely have a doc somewhere that has some vague notes about how I’d like to write this because I like it!

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Anonymous said: August 6th 2019 Anhhgff your Good Omens tword fics are so cute snvfddf i never knew I needed that of my favorite husbands till now😳😍

I know, right?! They’re just dying to be dropped into every fluffy situation. (see: #Good Omens)

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Anonymous said: July 25th 2019 Poking my head in to say hello, hope you’re doing well still! I just got into Good Omens and I absolutely loved your fic! (I watched the show first because my book was taking too long in the mail lol) Also, the other week I somehow talked myself into making a tfb blog, after all these years of almost doing so before chickening out (this ask isn’t from it because I just hopped in here briefly in a private phone browser to say hi, it’s literally just august-anon though) ~August!Anon

August!anon, I’m always so happy to see you stop by! Tagging your (not-so-new anymore) blog so everyone can check you out: @august-anon

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hey-teenblog said: August 4th 2019 I love your fanfiction very much! They give me a lot of pleasant emotions. And most importantly, they, saturated with tenderness and love, gave me to accept myself as lee!! sorry for my english, i'm russian Love you 😘❤️

I will never tire of hearing things like this! Thank you for telling me. “Saturated with tenderness and love” is a such wonderful compliment about my writing – thank you very much! No need to apologize for language differences; I’m always impressed with anyone who manages to pick up English because it’s bonkers.

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Anonymous said: August 23rd 2019 Hi! Just found this blog and wondering some basic info. ** What fandoms do toy write for? ** Do you accept prompts? ** Do you write reader insert fics? Thank you lovley ❤️

Anonymous said: August 29th 2019 Do you write tickle fics for bnha?? Asking for a friend 👀👀

The only fandoms I have reliably been able to write for are Supernatural and Good Omens – but even Good Omens is a rookie player here. Supernatural is my main jam, and Destiel is my favorite flavor. I don’t do reader inserts, but I’m always “accepting” prompts. I just haven’t written many of them for quite a long time now, so you’re welcome to drop them as long as you’re okay with them collecting dust. (see: this selfsame post)

My About/FAQ page is very dusty right now, too, but there might be some useful tidbits in there for you.

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Anonymous said: November 12th 2019 okayokayokay. Have you watched Lucifer? It's on netflix, it's great, so much emotions and pining. (Also, y'know, reg. Luci stuff. He runs a club. Bad jokes. It's great.)

I haven’t, but it’s on my Netflix watchlist, so I’ll get there eventually! I saw a gifset once where he actually did the thing I see in winged fanfic all the time, where there was gunfire and he sheltered someone he cared about with his manifested wings. And honestly, that was the deciding factor for me.

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Anonymous said: November 16th 2019 Oh Man U listen to Critrole as well! Nice! Campaign 1 was awesome but also heartfelt and really gut-punching at points. Who is your fav so far, anyone you aren’t fond of? (& Out of interest do you have any tickle related thoughts on the main crew or upcoming Fics we can look out for? As you said it’s tumbleweeds out here for this fandom’s tickles and I’ll take anything really 😂!) Hope u enjoy!!!!!

It’s STILL tumbleweeds out here and it’s making me crazy! My heart belongs to Vax primarily, Percy secondarily. I don’t really have cohesive thoughts or headcanons about anything, unfortunately. I do have this one mental picture that keeps coming up that I keep wanting to see art of (who knows, maybe I’ll commission somebody someday?) – of ridiculous brute Grog just lifting Vax straight up in his arms and gettin’ wiggly with his fingers while all Vax can do is laugh and pry and kick while absolutely nobody helps him.

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Regarding #series: Accessor:

Anonymous said: August 31st 2015 I would like to see accessor!verse cas using feathers on Dean!!! and NIBBLES and RASPBERRIES and TEETH and TONGUE and WOWWWWWW

ME TOO, FRIEND. It’s been aaaaages since I published anything new for the Accessor AU, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been going back to my unfinished docs every once in a while to add a few lines here and there. ;)

Anonymous said: October 29th 2016 Prompt: Cas is put in charge of getting a treaty with a neighboring country that shares a lot of the same customs, including Accessories, with certain... twists (think Bracelets AU) and treats their personal slaves (like Accessories) like people (listening to opinions, giving proper care, etc.). The foreign diplomats keep bringing that up and talking to Dean. Cas isn't sure he can make it though the diplomatic proceedings. Also, he might be having improper thoughts about that custom and Dean...

I’m posting this here, but I’m definitely keeping this filed elsewhere because it’s FANTASTIC.

Halo!anon submitted: June 4th 2018 I can’t help but imagine how tickling must play a part in other aspects of society in the accessor ‘verse, besides the sessions between master and accessory. So here’s some imagines and headcanons, with a touch of worldbuilding. (Warnings, besides the usual for this AU: death mention, reference to past trauma.)

- Among the high class, during parties and other celebrations, it’s seen as a common courtesy to string up one’s personal accessory in the center of the room and let the guests entertain themselves with them. Lord Castiel never does this with Dean, much to his fellow nobles’ disappointment; the mere suggestion had Dean quaking as things he’d rather forget came back to bite him.

- Every so often, a petty criminal(the poor man’s accessory, if you will) is placed in stocks in a small town’s square and left at the mercy of the very people they used to menace. What happens next usually involves honey, some sheep, and plenty of begging. A guard stands by to warn people, “No hurting, only tickling. Everyone please wait your turn, they’re not going anywhere any time soon.”

- Certain monastic healers perform tickle therapy as a treatment for anxiety, stress, and other “diseases of the soul”, as they call them. Balthazar himself proposed the idea, because of course he did. The rich usually indulge in this kind of therapy secretly, due to its undignified nature. Some contemplate the possibility of training accessories to tickle in the future, but it’s still a big taboo.

- Every town has a folktale about a tickle monster. Curiously, many of them involve controlling plants and attacking through dreams. The southern communities still have a giggle remembering that one time six years ago when Michael offered to hunt down one such monster and came back with Crowley, a sleazy drunkard with a fetish and a dream, sitting in a cage and wearing a mask.

- The Masters sisters, Lillith, Meg and Ruby, have a long history with law enforcement. Their favorite pastime is snatching unlucky merchants off the roads and tickling them into coughing up everything they have. Everyone is sure they had a hand in Fergus"Crowley" Macleod’s untimely demise by ferocious attack hounds, but they’re very good at covering their tracks. They’ll help you cover up your tracks too, if you’re a friend- ask Bela Talbot.

I might make a second part if I get any more ideas. I hope you enjoyed this! -Halo!anon.

I am very fond of you indeed, Halo!anon. These are so creative!

hypahticklish submitted: July 24th 2018 Accessor!Ideas:

~ Gabriel leads a furious rant regarding Prince Lucifer/Sam to Castiel, relating back to perhaps dealings he has directly had with the Prince between their two unstable-yet-truced Kingdoms. Castiel relates with similar views shared by Gehenna’s councilor(s).

~ Dean and Sam BM where the audience learns more about their homevillage. Dean starts it after a rather morose remark from Sam and ends with Sammy smiling and stealing my heart.

~ Balthazar helps Sam in several ways: 1) Learns the Sam was originally a psuedo-Advocates apprentice, as well as herbalist nephew when Sam identifies the components to some salves/medicines he’s making (he had been explaining what he was doing in an attempt to spare himself being attacked like the first couple times) 2) Calls Sam out on being intelligent and making a recklessly stupid choice by selling himself to find Dean. 3) Removes Lucifers mark. And maybe perhaps: 4) Allows Sam to assist in his own healing/medicine making under his careful observation, feigned as needing two sets of hands to do correctly and his assistant was running an errand, to assess his skills. 5) Offer he work in the hospice under him, apprenticing, should Gabriel allow his intelligence not go to waste. It’s not what Sam really wants to do/learn, but it’s better than doing nothing.

~Dean officially thanks Castiel for saving Sam. I’m talking full feels, single man tear sorta thing. And Castiel says “there was never another option” and then its schmoopy sweet with the kisses and the tickles and the Cas saying he loves Dean back!!!!!!!! swoon.

~ Kali!Likes!Sam’s!Spirit! Give me a dinner scene with Gabriel, Kali and Sam where hes holding his own in a diplomatic conversation with them when he nearly crosses a line (maybe something classist? Making it clear that Cas and Gabe are the exception to his experiences) and she says “I like this ones fire. He reminds me of you, my love.” *grabby hands*

~ Prince Lucifer sends a message to Gabriel requesting (threatening) his Helpmate be returned to him for a handsome reward. Sam somehow sees letter and gets spooked because DRAMA. Gabriel responds to Lucifer with the Chief Advocate equivalent of “Fuck Off”

You, my friend. YOU. All these feelings about Sam? Top-notch, and I shall be borrowing them, yes I shall.

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Regarding #android!Cas:

hypahticklish said: January 23rd 2016 Android!Cas deciding today is the DAY. Dean has been teasing him lately that he likes these strange sensations that have him using all his back-up generated power to not accidentally break Dean's bones and challenging him with that cocky smirk and relaxed confidence. Android!Cas practicing during time while Dean rests with holding objects with similar density to the human wrists with enough gentle force that they neither fracture or slip from his grasp. Android!Cas surprising Dean by turning the tables and pinning his wrists over his head while settling himself on Dean's thighs. Android!Cas not necessarily tickling at first so much as just touching like he had been wanting to so as to catalog how his best friend feels with his new technology. Android!Cas feeling that bubble of FEELS in his chest as he listens to Dean swear at him with positive physical actions negating his harsh words, growing more amused as the bubbling giggles begin. I love Android!Cas

Anonymous said: January 23rd 2016 Android!Cas figures out his own strength comes in handy for more than just retaining himself during tickle fights. When he surprises Dean, Dean tends to squirm and fight back a little (even though he told Cas to get him back as part of the experience), so Cas uses his strength to gently hold Dean down while ticking him. Dean's never been held immobile before so it's a new experience for him, but he ends up liking it. Cas notices how Dean relaxes into his hold after a minute or so. Cas doesn't fail to use this knowledge about Dean, coming up with teasing words and methods of ticking to make Dean all squirmy and giggly, taking special notice of how light tickles effect Dean even more than most other touches, using that specially designed soft brush meant to gently clean Cas' delicate computer chips.

Anonymous said: February 17th 2016 I'm joining in on the Android!Cas thing, if not too late. Perhaps Android!Cas has detachable parts, like a foot, and Dean is a jerk and runs off and hides with it all the while tickling it and making fun of Android!Cas's increasingly desperate attempts to get it back.

Y’all, careful deliberate curious determined ‘ler Cas is LIFE. And, reserved confused helpless adorable ‘lee Cas is also life. Detachable and extensible parts are probably key to both of these things.

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Regarding current personal circumstances:

Anonymous said: January 14th 2020 I pray that you’re able to find peace during this difficult time. You are loved more than you will ever know. I know it’s hard to believe, but there will come a time that you are thankful for this experience, because it will have turned you into the person you are truly meant to be. Be strong and be hopeful. Keep your faith and keep knowing that you are going to be okay. Don’t let this dark time destroy the magnificent light inside of you. Sending you so much love

Anonymous said: January 17th 2020 I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Hang in there! We’re all here for you!

Anonymous said: February 11th 2020 all my love, thoughts and prayers are going towards you right now. also wanted to just drop a little thank you note in your inbox for all the light and joy i've found in your fics over the years. im sitting half way through my first year at uni currently but ive been a fan of yours since early highschool and i feel like ive almost grown up with your writing and fanfics in a strange way, so thank you so much for that. sending all my love to you once again- you are so strong x

I love you all so much.

#blog maintenance #ask #you people are too kind #prompt #Accessor 'verse #android!Cas

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wervusindaart · 5 years ago

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Hello!! I heard it was persona loving hours so I have to push in my favorite one - Captain Kidd. Please tell me your thoughts on idiot pirate skeleton,

Hey! Sorry for the late response!Please note that everything I post about personas is my own opinion and is heavily based on my headcanons, so I really hope I’m not disappointing anyone.Kidd is a lot like his owner. He is easy going, open minded and veeery loud one!He speaks with heavy scottish accent and uses a lot of sea/pirate slang. He is also a relatively good singer.. buuut he only sings chantey.Ryuji can count on his advice, but there’s never guarantee it will work out since Kidd’s way of solving problems is usually straightforward and blunt.Kidd is against Ryuji swearing, but he, on the other hand, can swear freely if he feels like it. Ryuji was hesitant to talk with his persona at first, but they quickly became best buds! He trusts his persona and Captain Kidd is very protective towards Ryuji. I would say he also plays a parental figure but it’s not implied as heavily as their friendship. I personally like Kidd a lot, just like the rest of the main cast. Yet still, Arsene is #1 :D

#Arcain Draws #Arcain talks #Persona #Persona 5 #Captain Kidd persona

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prorevenge · 6 years ago

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Bail on me after you ask for help? Steal my work? Treat me like trash? Good luck on the final!!

My freshman year of college I took a Greek mythology course. Growing up I was definitely and Ancient Greece kid. My mom mixed in different myths along with Cinderella and The Cat in the Hat, as I got older I read the Percy Jackson series, and even up through high school I was still learning more and more, writing myths of my own as writing exercises and all kinds of things. I’m a total nerd. So of course when I took the myth course my college offered I was beyond excited and I knew a lot of the source material myself just from how long I had spent enthusiastically seeking it out myself. Now the class didn’t actually have a ton of students in it and many of the people that were in the class didn’t necessarily want/need to be there since it wasn’t required. As we’re moving through reading source material, making connections to modern works, etc some people start to notice they’re falling way behind. One of these people, a girl we’ll call Sidney realizes she’s falling behind but that I’m doing really well in the course and I really know what I’m talking about. So one day after class she asks me if I would tutor her so that she doesn’t fall behind. I figured tutoring would be a little weird because the course overall was geared towards English and writing but Sidney insisted that what she didn’t get were the myths themselves and I was certain that I could help with that. So we decided that we could meet up on Fridays to go over anything she didn’t understand and I could try to explain it more simply.

So the first time we meet up is before the first paper is due. We meet up at the library and I ask her what she plans to write about. She already knew what piece she wanted to write on but there were some things she needed explained better and I was cool to help her out. So I sit there for maybe two hours going through this with me essentially summarizing the myth for her like eight times until she got it. So when we’re done Sidney asks me what I wanted to write on. My mistake was actually telling her. Now I didn’t give away too much but regardless when the papers came back there she was telling me that she changed her idea to work on the same piece I chose and wrote on a veeery similar theme. She actually thanked me because she got a good grade. Okay. A little sus but I figure that’s my mistake and in the future I’ll keep my ideas to myself to make sure neither of us “borrows” from the other. So I mentioned before that we were meeting on Fridays, right? And that we agreed on that day together after she approached me for help? Good. Because Sidney seemed to have forgotten. After the first paper I continued going to the library to meet up and discuss. We had exchanged numbers so when I got to the library I’d say something like, “Hey, Sidney, I’m at the library in x room so come meet me there.” Now after a while S would start bailing on the tutoring without saying anything. I knew she was coming from somewhere else on campus to the library to meet me so I expected she would be there a little later than me. But there’s a difference between showing up after five minutes saying, “Sorry I’m late” wait and making me sit there for an hour before you finally say, “I’m not I’m campus right now”. Even then though I didn’t want to be mean so I’d get some of my own work done while I waited and when/if she told me she would be there, I’d go back to my dorm and that would be that. But eventually it got to the point where Sidney just wasn’t acknowledging me. Wouldn’t answer texts, every study session she was mysteriously busy but then I’d see her around partying or playing around later. Okay?? So I stop showing up to the library and she doesn’t text me about it because she’s not even there to know if I’m waiting for her. Now after a few weeks of this, the next paper rolls around and suddenly tutoring is back on. I’m getting texts from Sidney like, “Hey I need help on the paper can you come meet me?” or “I don’t know what to write about, can you tell me?” And so I ask her, “Hey do you want to meet up Friday?” Y'know, the time we agreed on to do this kinda shit. And she was just constantly saying Fridays weren’t any good for her and giving a list of days and times to come meet her and I had to say to her, “Hey I can’t meet you these times/days. The whole reason that Friday was so good is because that’s when I have extra time to help if you need it.” After that I suggested that she ask the professor for help (which he would have provided) or ask someone else in class because I couldn’t meet her when she wanted. So that Friday rolls around and I find out she isn’t gonna be at tutoring because she’s drinking with her friends and couldn’t be bothered. Okay. Now I couldn’t help her but I told her exactly who could. Imagine my surprise when the second paper rolls around and she TANKS and walks up me saying it’s my fault because I keep skipping tutoring! And as I mentioned before, I’m a nerd but I’m really getting pissed the fuck off so I show her all the times I texted her and got no response or she “wasn’t on campus.” Of course, no one likes to be wrong so she keeps insisting it’s my fault and saying that I’m trying to make her fail the class and all kinds of nonsense. So I figure y'know what? I’m done now. I tell Sidney that if she needs anything from then on she should contact our professor, a classmate, or heck even go make an appointment at the ACTUAL tutoring center for whatever time and date she needs to fit in her schedule. She’s in college and I’m not her mother. So you’d think that, not wanting to fail and get no credit for a course that YOU’RE paying for, she’d maybe go see about her grades. Nope! The third paper rolls around and it’s huge because this paper is what your larger final presentation is based on. So the big part is writing the paper and then for the final you essentially teach what you learned to the class. So I’m living a free life, enjoying my Fridays, and preparing a damn good paper/presentation to finish out this class. That is until Sidney starts talking again. The closer we get to the due date, the more she starts texting me about the assignment: What do we have to do? When is it due? What can we write on? What am I writing on? How many pages? How many sources? When can she meet with me? When can she meet with the PROFESSOR? Now mind you all of that is information that she would/should have had. Everybody got a rubric explaining the requirement and literally all of the info she wanted including when she could meet with the professor was included and I had already told her that I wasn’t going to bother anymore. All she had to do was look at her rubric, email the professor, or maybe ask one of the students that she HADN’T treated like trash and stolen from. I figured I’d dish back a bit of what she gave and regularly responded to these texts saying things like, “In class now, can’t talk!” or “Sorry home for the weekend, don’t have the rubric on me!” Now when I said these things, they were actually true! She did text me a lot while I was in class and I did go home for the weekend sometimes. But I also didn’t try especially hard to get back to her either. Ultimately I usually directed her to the professor or another classmate. It was up to her to reach out. I did get in one really good jab though. At my school a lot of times you’re done for the year before finals week even rolls around. For different classes that means different things. Some will take your last assignment as your final. Others you have to show up for a physical test and in some you might just submit an extra paper or small assignment. In this class, you’d do the final paper earlier and then come in during finals week to do your presentation. As I was getting ready for bed the night before, I get a text from Sidney saying, “What time is the final tomorrow?” I went to bed with a smile on my face and did not respond. The next day she showed up late to the final, handed in her paper which was both late and short (which can drop you two letter grades) and gave an absolutely abysmal presentation which didn’t make any sense and sounded like it had been scraped from the bottom of the Wikipedia barrel. After the final the professor dismissed everyone but asked S to stay and asked me to close the door behind myself when I left. To this day she has not spoken to me again (even though we’ve had class together since). All she had to do was show up to tutoring ¯\_(ツ)_/ ¯

(submit your pro revenge story) (story by anonymous)

#submission #prorevenge #pro revenge stories #revenge stories #pro #revenge #pro revenge story #last10

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jooyeone · 2 years ago

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heya! sorry for the late response, and yes i get it. tht is a veeery tough show to watch. i remember when i was 16, my oldest sister started it 4 years ago and always paused it when i was around and told me i couldnt watch it because i was too young so now that im older i can watch it fully but damn. she didnt lie when she told me that it is very tough as hell 😅 and no, it's probably not the best show to binge watch but it's too good

hii sorry for the late response on my part now 😭 shdhdhd she was probably right to do so but i am glad you've picked it up a few years later bc it is such a quality production and such a well-written story! i think i was watching this show around the same time as your sister and soo many years later there are some scenes STILL evoke a very visceral reaction in me when i remember them

#also elizabeth moss in it ❤️ giving out free acting lessons left and right !#answered #anon

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michaelrookered · 7 years ago

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Well I’m veeery late (life took over), but here’s my Merle x Reader fic for @rookermas! I wrote this for the wonderful @multi-villain-imagines. I hope you like it, Tess! And I’m so sorry about the wait!

(And in case you’re confused about who the hell this is, my main blog is @babelincolns)

Merle drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, deep in thought. He had no idea what to get you for Christmas. He wasn’t usually the type to give gifts, but you were his girl. You were special and he wanted to get you something that would make you smile. Though he couldn't always afford it, he loved showering you with gifts. But what to get you? Books? Maybe. You definitely loved to read, but he got you a stack of books a couple weeks ago. Jewelry? Nah, you’d never been one to wear a lot of jewelry.

Lost in his thoughts, Merle almost missed the dull grey brick building as he drove by in his truck. But as he passed the building, the perfect idea popped into his head. With a screech of the tires, he spun the truck back around towards the grey building.

A couple hours later, the door swung open as Merle entered his trailer.

"Y/N? Baby?" he called out as he closed the door and set his keys down on the counter. Although you had a nice apartment on the other side of town, you spent most of your time in his trailer. Merle glanced down at his watch. 5:30 p.m. That meant you were no doubt taking a nap somewhere. You weren't resting on the couch or the old armchair in the living room, so Merle made his way to the bedroom. He opened the door slowly, careful not to make too much noise. A small grin spread on his face when he saw you curled up in his bed, the blankets covering all but your head. Merle moved over to the bed, picked up your gift, and placed it on the bed next to you.

Your eyelids fluttered as you began to drift out of sleep. A quiet voice saying your name had brought you out of your slumber and you smiled at the sound of your boyfriend. Before you opened your eyes, a giant, wet tongue licked your cheek. Your eyes flew open and you squealed at the sight in front of you.

"Oh my God! A puppy!" you exclaimed as you sat up, the covers of Merle’s bed falling off you. A grey pit bull stood on the bed next to you with his tail wagging furiously.

"Merry Christmas, baby," Merle said as the dog continued to lick your face as you hugged it to your chest.

"I can't believe you got me a puppy!” you smiled and pressed a quick kiss to Merle’s lips. “Girl or boy? I need to name it!"

Merle laughed and sat down on the bed next to you, reaching out to pat the dog on the head. "Girl, he ain't no puppy. He's 'bout two years old."

"Tell me all about him. You adopted him, right?" You questioned as the dog nestled even closer to you, grateful for the affection.

Merle nodded. "Yeah, I know you don't like any of them puppy mills or breeders. He's a rescue. Supposed to be put down today."

You hugged the dog tighter. "Oh, poor baby."

"He's been at the shelter for a few months now. Somebody dumped him on the side of the road. Lucky he wasn't hit by a car."

The dog looked up at you, love already present in his bright blue eyes.

You smiled. "I thought of a name for him."

"Oh, really? What?"

"Blue."

Merle huffed out a laugh. "Creative."

"Shut up!" you said with a grin and playfully shoved him. "You both have the same gorgeous blue eyes."

"Mine are prettier though."

"Debatable,” you said with a shrug.

"You better watch it, girl, or I'm gonna get jealous," Merle said and kissed your forehead. "Now go get dressed and we'll take him to that pet store on Main Street. Boy needs a bed and shit."

The next evening, you stormed into Merle’s trailer, Blue following close at your heels.

“I am beyond pissed right now, Merle,” you fumed as you slammed the door behind you.

Merle glanced up from the book he was reading with a pout. “What’d I do?”

You smirked at his response, but the anger still burned inside you. “Surprisingly, this time it’s nothing you did.”

“Well, if I ain’t in trouble then c’mere and tell me about it,” he said, patting his lap and dropping his book on the table beside him.

You moved over to the armchair and sat on his lap and quickly settled into his strong arms. As Merle started to run his fingers through your hair while you leaned against him, the anger began to dissipate. If it were possible, you could sit forever in his lap with his arms around you. There was nowhere else that felt more like home.

“You ready to talk about it?” Merle questioned after a few minutes of silence.

“My apartment complex won’t let me keep Blue,” you sniffled as you looked at the dog curled up next to Merle’s feet. “Apparently pit bulls are a ‘dangerous breed’ and not allowed.”

“That’s bullshit,” Merle said and you felt him frown against your cheek.

You picked at the duct tape that covered a large tear in the armchair’s fabric. "Merle, I don't know what to do. I don't want to give him back and I've checked and there aren't any apartments around that will let tenants have pit bulls. It's so unfair!”

You took a couple deep breaths and fought back the tears that threatened to spill down your face.

“You wanna move in with me?” Merle asked.

You sat up with wide eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, baby. You’re here more than that apartment anyway. And I love waking up with you in my bed,” Merle responded with a glint of mischief in his eyes.

You smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Well, I definitely like waking up in your bed.”

“Wanna make it our bed?”

The smile on your face grew wider. Just the thought of moving in with Merle was making you giddy. You could see him even more, wake up with him every morning, and keep Blue? It was perfect – a dream come true.

You nodded. “Definitely.”

He pressed a soft, lingering kiss to your lips and smiled. “Then how ‘bout we go christen it?”

The sun rose the next morning with Merle's head cushioned on your stomach and Blue curled against your opposite side. Your fingers slowly carded through Merle's short curls as he quietly snored. It was everything you could possibly want. A smile graced your face once again and your heart swelled with love. You were home.

#merle dixon x reader #merele dixon x you #twd #twd fanfiction #merle x reader #michael rooker #rookermas

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blzzrdstryr · 3 years ago

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I can’t help but feel so bad for the Misery/Dissolusion darling... should any of the fatuis (read Childe, Scara or hell even Signora) meet them in their mindbroken state.. yeah yikes 😬

TW: death I feel like they’d probably try to mercy kill this shell of their former friend 😭✋🏾

Sorry for the late response. And yeah, Misery!darling just suffers everyday, one could say they're truly miserable(Sorry I wanted to type it so much).

Other Harbingers would have a very mixed reactions towards reader, they obviously don't have a lot of real friends in the organzation, none of the harbingers do, yet they're still a colleague and ally. If they can be brought down to this level, then so can be anyone.

As for mercy killing, I can definitely see Childe going down this route, especially if he admired reader's mental and fighting prowess before, as for Scaramouche and La Signora we sadly don't have a lot of info on them at the moment, so it's hard to say how they wouls react, they would 100% be very disturbed though.

If it makes you feel any better, I had an idea for Scaramouche(who harbored a crush on the reader for a veeery long time) rescuing them and trying to be their therapist, despite being one of the biggest jerks. I think I will call it "seaglass and pebbles", where reader slowly remembers their life, comes to terms with everything that happened to them and Scaramouche tries to do better™. The keyword is tries. I can already imagine that: it would be very sad and frustrating, but will ultimately end on the bittersweet note.

#blzzrddrps

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xs-a-t-u-r-nx · 7 years ago

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My thesis advisor is the best, he's a Leo sun cancer moon and mars, and I love him so much bc he's caring and sweet even though he's veeery shy. He's always studying in the library and I like to watch him while he leafes sooo gently through the pages of his books. Idk, he's so graceful and lovely I just can't bear it😂😂

(Sorry for such the late response!! 💖) Awwww he sounds so sweet and caring based off of his placements, and from you've said about him I bet he's wonderful!! (Seriously though, his placements are great!!) 💕💕🤗

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blackhtorns · 7 years ago

Text

warning: major character death. don’t like, don’t read. (alec’s death, feat. malec wedding)

this is a veeery unlikely scenario but i wrote this bc maximum angst. it’s looooooooong and i spent 3 days on it. it’s nearly 6000 words i’vE NEVER WRITTEN SO MUCH STUFF. you’re welcome. it’s all in lowercase bc i’m lazy af

let’s hope alec’s death doesn’t happen like this.

you can thank @catarinalosss for this horrible thing:) read at your own risk^^ thoughhh there’s fluff in the beginning><

major character death and heaaaaavyyy angst under the cut.

“I will not have a ceremony that anyone looks down on as lesser. I do not want you to have any less than the ceremony you could have had, to honor your vows to a Shadowhunter. I have had enough of making compromises in the name of trying to make peace. I want the Law to change. I do not want to get married until we can get married in gold.”

it’s not easy for alec and magnus. even after the end of the war, after the fall of the clave, they are still looked down upon, as are their children. it takes years of cleaning up and remaking the shadowhunter hierarchy, years after the war has passed, until shadowhunters mingle freely with downworlders, and vice versa, without much prejudice or disdain. and so it takes years until magnus and alec can marry each other without someone sneering at them, turning their noses up at them at every turn, years until their kids can legally take the name lightwood-bane.

it’s magnus who insists that they get married in idris, now that the law allows them to. and it’s alec who insists that they marry in each other’s colours - alec in warlock blue, and magnus in shadowhunter gold. It’s a sign of change, of equality and acceptance, and a door to a new, glorious era.

the wedding is the biggest one of the century. it’s the first downworlder-shadowhunter marriage that is properly recognised and accepted under the law without discrimination - not to mention both of the same gender. and the ones getting married are the heroes of the mortal war, a high warlock and a proud lightwood.

the night before the marriage, magnus asks if alec is nervous. no, no, he replies, because after all they’ve been through, this marriage is just another step forward. it’s important, but nothing to be nervous over.

(magnus cries when he recalls this. ‘nothing to be nervous over’. right.)

they exchange warm, sweet kisses on the bed, basking in the familiarity of each other, of this wonderful thing they have between them. i love you, alexander, magnus murmurs as he mouths at alec’s jaw. oh, oh, magnus, i love you, gasps alec at his release. they cuddle into each other, a familiar position that, they believe, would continue for years to come.

(i love you, alexander. please, please come back. this - this can’t be it)

the next morning, they wash each other’s scent off themselves, together, giggling like a couple newly in love. they leave the house they’re staying in with dopey smiles on their faces, handing over rafael and max to clary and simon, who gladly take them to change into their little suits, and part with a long kiss to prepare for their wedding.

isabelle is more enthusiastic about the wedding than alec is. alec, she says, it’s a wedding that will likely go down in history. of course i’m excited! jace laughs at her enthusiasm, but his tone turns solemn as he says, i’m proud of you, alec, and envelopes his parabatai into an embrace. isabelle joins in, the three lightwood siblings clinging to each other tightly. finally, they pull away, and alec pretends not to see isabelle wiping her eyes not-so-discreetly and jace blinking away tears.

(i’m so sorry, brother. please, please don’t leave, i need you.)

isabelle fusses over his hair, his face. jace helps tuck alec into the suit (blue, the colour warlocks use to wed, the colour matching alec’s own eyes), adjusting it so as to make it look better. he insists that they tidy themselves up, not to fuss over him, but they flock around alec, insisting, it’s your wedding, you’re the important one, and he’s overwhelmed by a rush of love for his siblings.

(i’m sorry for leaving you alone. i’d come back if i could)

halfway through his preparation, clary brings in his boys. you look great, dad, says max. i’m proud of you, dad, says rafe. he brings in his boys for a hug - they grow up so fast. he hopes that this wedding, this change, will bring a better future for them and whoever they choose to love.

(daddy, daddy, please wake up, where are you?)

clary takes them out with a smile and wink. daddy needs to prepare, she says. she ushers a giggling max and grinning rafael out the door, pausing to give alec a small nod. i’ll take care of them.

(please take care of them, now that i’m gone)

he and magnus had argued over who was going to walk down the aisle. they finally decided that alec would be the one to do it. jace would give alec away, and catarina would do the same for magnus. they also decided that, when they extended invitations to wedding guests, they asked shadowhunters to wear warlock blue, and downworlders to wear shadowhunter gold. another step to break the traditional customs of the nephilim.

the time nears until the wedding starts and alec’s excitement grows. he can’t wait to marry magnus, to kiss him in front of everyone, to put a runed ring on that elegant hand, and to have one put on him. he can’t wait to see the guests, dressed in colours that are not their own, mingling with one another, attending a wedding that breaks all old traditions and laws.

(he never gets to do that)

isabelle has to leave not long before the wedding starts to find simon, jace stays, for he will be the one giving alec away, and they make small talk for a while. until jace excuses himself for a while as well, telling him that he’d promised clary that he’d check on the kids for alec before the ceremony. alec thanks him, though he knows max and rafe will be alright. they’re in good hands. the door closes as jace gives him one last smile and alec is left alone in his room, left to his own thoughts.

(the last smile he’s ever going to give him)

he closes his eyes and thinks of magnus. he thinks of magnus’ gold-green cat eyes and blue sparks, of his caramel skin and plush lips. he thinks of magnus’ beautiful, perfect laugh, the way his eyes soften when he looks at alec. he thinks of magnus, his husband-to-be.

he thinks of how he’s going to be married to this beautiful, beautiful man, with jace at his side and isabelle smiling proudly at him, with clary and simon watching, max and rafe seeing their dad and papa bind themselves together, maia and lily wearing gold. he thinks of how magnus will look at him - with love, with pride. and he thinks of the way they’ll kiss in front of an audience, soft, sweet, a promise for a better future, a message that this world will -

(he’s so lost in his thoughts he doesn’t realise that the person who entered isn’t jace, until it’s too late - )

he hears the door open. the kids are okay, i told you, he teases jace, eyes still closed, but receives no response. he frowns, opens his eyes, and turns around -

it’s not jace. it’s not anyone he knows. and - they’re right behind him. he springs up, honed instincts kicking in - but he’s let his guard down. he’s too late.

before he can even raise a hand, there’s a sharp pain in his neck, numbing his body. it feels like he’s drowning it’s blurry and dark and he can’t breathe he can’t move is he falling what is happening -

magnus, he thinks desperately, and he goes under.

(i shouldn’t have left you alone, i’m so sorry, i should have known the kids would be fine, i should have stayed with you)

jace ruffles max’s hair and puts the little boy down before he kisses clary and leaves to go back to alec. he’s halfway up the stairs when - pain, blinding, excruciating pain - and it’s coming from his parabatai rune, and his soul - it feels like his other half is being taken away from him. no. nono. alec. he races up the steps, practically flying down the hallway until he’s outside alec’s room. before he arrives he can see that the door is open. nononononono -

he enters - and the pain in his rune escalates to an unbearable pain. his eyes are watering and. alec is on the floor. he’s lying facedown on the floor, and there’s a needle sticking out of his neck. a horrified sob builds in his throat. no. he - he can’t be dead. maybe he’s just unconscious. maybe what was in that needle wasn’t fatal. maybe alec is just playing a prank. he tries to tell himself all this, he tries to tell himself the pain in his rune and his soul isn’t real. he drops to his knees next to alec and presses two fingers to his neck, his pulse.

there’s nothing. he chokes out the ugly sob that had been building in his throat, but he can’t bring himself to cringe at the horrible sound. alec can’t be dead. he flips alec over, grabs his wrist - no pulse, no nothing. fingers under his nose. no breathing. desperate, jace presses his mouth to alec’s, despite the fact he knows it’s useless. nothing. no. alec is not dead. he’s supposed to walk down the aisle, exchange rings with magnus, and kiss him to consolidate a new era. he’s supposed to live his life out, long and fulfilling and happy, with magnus and jace and isabelle and clary and simon by his side. he’s supposed to raise his children to be the pride of the world. he’s not - he can’t be dead.

jace takes out his phone and dials magnus, tears falling down his face. he doesn’t stop them. it rings - once, twice -

is something wrong? magnus asks, and a sob falls out of jace before he can help it. yes, everything is wrong, jace thinks. jace, magnus says urgently. it’s alec, he chokes out before the tears consume him, and he sobs, ugly and heaving. please - please come. the next thing he hears is a beep and jace curls in on himself, clutching his parabatai rune, where the pain has faded to a dull throb, but jace - he feels the gaping void in his soul, the loss of his other half, his sworn brother.

(why did he leave why didn’t he stay why did he leave alec alone the kids would’ve been fine he should never have left his parabatai why was he so stupid whywhywhywhy - )

it’s alec, jace says, and magnus’ heart stops. no. he hangs up, his heart thundering rapidly. he dashes outside, ignoring catarina, where are you going, and grabs isabelle, who’s just outside his room, talking with simon. it’s alec, his voice shakes, and isabelle’s eyes widen, fearful. she tells simon something - he doesn’t know what, he can’t hear anything he can’t focus on anything - and together they race to where alec’s room is. magnus would’ve portaled if not for the fact that he’s never been there.

running has never been so slow. seconds turn into hours turn into years and when he finally arrives at alec’s room and sees alec on the floor and jace curling into his parabatai rune, sobbing, he all but flies forward. isabelle has frozen at the door, clutching at the doorframe as if it’s the only thing supporting her, but magnus pays her no heed. he reaches trembling fingers to alec, blue magic sparking around his fingers and feels - nothing. where alec’s life force usually would lie, vibrant and quiet and bright and still, there is nothing.

please, do something, isabelle begs. she’s slid down the doorframe, tears leaking out. and oh, does he try, he pulls the needle out and reaches into alec’s bloodstream and - oh. oh no. the poison - it’s - it kills instantly, he tells the siblings, and jace curls in tighter on himself, and isabelle collapses. the tears he has been holding back spill out.

no, alexander, no, please… he reaches out with his magic, tries to take out the poison in his blood - but it’s futile and he knows it. alec is dead. no amount of healing can bring him back. he tells jace and isabelle as such, voice breaking, and he collapses over his would-be husband’s still, unmoving body.

nonononothiscan’tbeitthisisn’thappeningnoplease. sobs wrack his body and he’s never felt so helpless in his life. he’s the high warlock of brooklyn, for god’s sake. he should be able to do the impossible. and now - now, even the impossible can’t bring his alexander back. he’s beyond magnus’ reach now. he’s gone. he can’t do anything.

do something, isabelle sobs. please, alec, please, jace wails. and magnus - magnus can do nothing but cry, heart shattered into a million pieces, scattered and he knows that he never will be whole again.

alec - his alexander doesn’t deserve this. not this, dying on his wedding day, the day that should have been the biggest day of his life, lying there unmoving, helpless, in his blue suit. the blue suit that is the colour of his eyes - a colour he’ll never see again, magnus realises in horror.

he’ll never see the eyes that he loves so much blink open at him in the morning. he’ll never see the way his eyes fill with love when they look at him, the way his eyes become protective and focused during a fight. never be able to gaze into those endless pools, trading kisses between them.

he’ll never have alec again.

he remembers, last night, how he reached out to caress alec’s jaw. he wants to do that one last time. he wants to see alec’s eyes, bright and beautiful and blue, staring back at him with complete and utter love. he wants to tell him, i love you, i love you, i will always love you, please don’t leave me, i love you. he wants to hold alec, kiss alec, one last time before he’ll never have him again.

but - but he didn’t even get to say goodbye.

(i should have been there for you. you don’t deserve this)

isabelle slides down the doorframe. this - this figure lying on the floor in a blue suit - that’s not her brother. her brother would never be this still. he’s never still, not when he’s standing or sitting or sleeping.

the figure lying on the floor, who looks like her brother, dresses like her brother - that can’t be him.

because - alec shouldn’t be dead. now - by now, he should be walking down the aisle, jace by his side. he should be exchanging rings with magnus, leaning up to kiss his husband for the world to see. he should be surrounded by people, shadowhunters and downworlders alike, offering their congratulations, welcoming a new era. he should be twirling his children around in joy, feeding them cake and laughing with the family he and magnus raised together. he should be with magnus, the love between them shining like a beacon, finally able to call each other husband after so many years of hate and prejudice and discrimination.

he should be doing all that, and more. he shouldn’t - this can’t be happening. it’s not happening. he shouldn’t be lying on the floor, like he’s - like he’s -

no. she’s - she’s in a bad dream, that’s all. alec is strong and experienced, he can defend himself. this broken, still body in front of her? that’s not her brother. that’s the only explanation.

because alec can’t be dead.

(you - you should have been able to live. to continue your life, with magnus, with us, doing what you’ve always been meant to do. you shouldn’t - shouldn’t be -)

isabelle tells simon, fear in her eyes, that something has happened to alec, that the wedding might have to be put on hold. then she runs away with magnus, both running like their lives depend on it.

and simon worries.

if anything - anything at all, happens to alec on his wedding day - that would be the worst thing simon can possibly imagine. alec has to be fine. it’s probably nothing, he tells himself.

he ignores the dread sinking deep into his stomach.

clary’s with the children. he tells her what isabelle told him, and her brow creases in worry.

is something wrong? max asks, seeing his aunt clary’s frown. she shouldn’t be frowning on a day like this.

nothing, blueberry, she says, blocking out the possibility that something terrible has happened. rafe hugs max and tells max proudly, of course nothing’s wrong! today is the best day in forever. everything will be perfect!

and clary - clary can do nothing to ease the worry that’s building in her mind. she can’t shake the feeling that - whatever happened, it’s terrible.

but she can’t let the children worry, so she smiles and applauds as max does a little trick with his magic.

alec will be fine. he has to be.

(he’s always been the strongest, out of all of us. he’s the most protective, the big brother. and now, now - )

simon hurries through the doors, speed-walking past rows and rows of guests dressed in blue and gold. the hall is grand, shadowhunter and warlock decorations combined to make a triumphant scene, and simon can’t help but think, what if all this was for nothing.

he ignores that thought and finds maryse, who’s sitting in the front row. he tells her, something’s happened, and she’s on her feet immediately, severe eyes, cutting into simon. her sudden movement draws the attention of other guests, and some start shifting, murmurs spreading across the room.

where is he, she demands. he tells her that isabelle and magnus and jace will be dealing with the situation. but he’s -, she breaks off at the end of the sentence. and simon doesn’t know how to answer. he doesn’t even know if alec is fine.

we have check on him, and simon sees the dread settle in her. she brushes off her blue dress and stalks down the aisle, simon hurrying behind her. maia catches his eye, raising and curious brow. he shrugs in return, but his worry is evident.

he follows her out of the hall, where clary is still with max and rafael. he doesn’t need words to tell her what’s happening; she can tell right away. she nods at him, ushering the children inside - whatever has happened, they don’t need to know about it.

maryse leads the way to alec’s room. her heels click faster and faster as they near it, getting more and more desperate. and simon, he’s desperate too because what if -

they turn the corner and arrive at the open door and -

simon takes in the scene of grief, or mourning, and the world stops.

(i always thought i’d die before you did. you were always the most resilient out of all of us)

it’s rare when a parent outlives a child. it’s just as rare in the shadowhunter society, where the older ones are the ones sent to fight.

as reckless as her children are. the thought that her children would die before she does has never even crossed maryse’s mind.

and that is why it takes maryse several seconds before she can register the scene before her, because the scenario is so unbelievable and bizarre and horrible.

isabelle and jace, grief written in every line of their body. magnus, hunching over -

all breath rushes out of her and she almost doubles over, because it’s her son who is lying on the floor, eyes unseeing and glassy and dead. her son. whom she bore and raised and loved, her flesh and blood, her pride and joy.

lying there. dead.

impossible, she wants to say, but in her mother’s heart, she knows, and there’s a hole where alec should have been.

isabelle looks up at her, makeup smudged, but in that moment, she looks like the child that she hasn’t been for many years. and maryse knows exactly what her child needs, what she herself needs.

she drops to her knees and draws her daughter into her arms. isabelle trembles against her, and maryse reaches out, gently wrapping her other arm around her remaining son. her children - two left, one lost - grieve into her and maryse lowers her head.

for the first time since robert’s death, maryse cries.

(i’m sorry for not being a better mother. i’m sorry for not being the mother you deserve. i love you, my son. i wish i had told you that.)

it’s barely a minute after simon has left when she feels a wave of grief and horror hit her through the parabatai bond. it’s a wave of grief so strong that clary reels back, overwhelmed.

oh no.

and when her phone starts to vibrate, she picks it up immediately. simon, what’s wrong she asks, because please don’t tell me it’s what i think it is.

when simon’s voice reaches her through the phone, trembling and thick with grief and tears, delivering to her the disastrous news, she collapses, right in the middle of the aisle. guests turn to stare and murmur, but they don’t matter, nothing matters.

rafael had said that today was supposed to be perfect.

she thinks that he couldn’t have been more wrong.

(i’m sorry for not being a better friend.)

it’s a long time before any of them can compose themselves even slightly. magnus recovers first, picking himself off alec’s body and reaching over to close his eyes gently. he stands, unsteady, and says in a shaky voice, we should probably call off the wedding.

jace and isabelle blink open their eyes from where they’re still nestled in maryse’s arms. maryse’s head remains bowed, showing no signs of hearing magnus. simon is gone, probably with clary.

there’s not a person in the room whose eyes aren’t red and raw, whose face isn’t streaked with tears.

there’s not a person in the room who isn’t completely, irreparably broken.

jace pulls himself out of maryse’s embrace, and she finally lifts her head. she’s - she’s undone, undone in a way that none of them have seen before. never has the mighty, proud maryse lightwood looked so broken.

jace walks slowly over to alec, each step weighed down and unsteady, heavy and leaden. after seconds that stretch into an eternity, he stands over his dead parabatai’s still body, and slowly, kneels down to wrap his arms around alec. silently, he cradles alec in his arms.

isabelle rises to her feet and jace heads over to her, magnus trailing behind. she reaches out a hand to place it gently on her brother’s jaw.

i’m sorry, she tries to say, but the words won’t come out, and she can only mouth them before the tears flow again. she squeezes her eyes shut, hand still on alec, and maryse places a hand on her arm, a show of support.

to the side, magnus watches the lightwood family, what’s left of it, and his heart aches like it never has before.

(why did it have to happen like this?)

when they arrive at the hall, heads held high as if they aren’t completely shattered inside, it’s mostly empty. simon and clary have called off the wedding, knowing the others would rather not do so.

they’re grateful.

magnus notes that max and rafael are absent - he doesn’t have it in his heart to worry, he trusts clary and simon.

clary and simon and sitting in one of the rows of seats, talking quietly. they spring up the moment they enter.

no words are exchanged. nothing needs to be spoken. gently, jace lays alec onto the dais. magnus walks over, and with a flick of his hand, and both their rings - rings that they have yet to exchange, rings that they will never exchange - appear in his hand. he wraps alec’s hands around the rings, takes both hands in his own, and presses them to his heart.

aku cinta kamu, he says softly, as though alexander can hear it, as though he isn’t impossibly far away. i love you.

he drops alec’s hands, taking back the rings. he’d place a ring on alec’s finger but - it feels wrong. he’ll keep it, he decides, both rings.

they don’t say a word when he steps back. jace walks forward and runs a hand over alec’s parabatai rune, and says, you will always be with me, brother.

isabelle kneels to place a kiss on alec’s forehead. thank you for taking care of me.

maryse holds him, like a mother does with her newborn. you were a better son than i could ever have imagined.

clary and simon stay back, knowing that this is something that the ones closest to alec have to do, but they lower their heads, murmuring, take care.

(i hope you’re happy where you are)

it doesn’t feel real. because alec is good and strong and bright, and he’s the one who facilitated the peeae between shadowhunters and downworlders. he’s loved, and it doesn’t feel real that he’s gone.

maia looks at her golden dress. it’s not a colour she ever thought she’d wear to a wedding - but thanks to all alec, that’s exactly what she did.

(she tries not to think that the wedding was for naught)

next to her, lily runs a hand down her own golden qipao, maia wonders if she’s thinking the same thing.

he was the best of those angel brats, lily says, breaking the silence. now all we have left is angel scum.

maia can’t agree with her more.

(why does fate take away the best people, and leave the worst ones behind?)

of course fate isn’t done with the nephilim, not after all they’ve suffered through and sacrificed. of course they’d take away the best of them.

aline clutches onto helen and is painfully reminded of how, so many years ago, alec had helped push her in the right direction.

aline knows that she’s not the only one he’s helped. he’s probably helped so many others put their life into perspective, helped them choose the right thing.

all the good he’s done - and he received the worst fate one could receive - dying on his wedding day.

sometimes, aline hates the angels, the almighty beings who are supposed to be good.

but if they are good, why would they take away alec? why didn’t they perform a miracle, and bring him back?

she thinks, as she cries into helen’s shoulder, that the angels are cruel.

(if it weren’t for you, i wouldn’t be as happy as i am now, so why am i happy when you’re just - gone?)

magnus thanks clary for taking care of max and rafael. i can go with you, she offers, but magnus gives her a small smile (all of his smiles seem pointless, now, now that alec isn’t around to see them) but denies her. i’ll be fine, biscuit.

(not now. maybe not ever. but he lies, and tries to believe it.)

he enters his loft - his loft, not their loft, now that alec’s gone - and follows the sound of childish laughter to the children’s room, where catarina is playing with them with her magic. she catches his eye and nods.

max and rafe turn around the moment he enters. papa! they cry, leaping at him.

what’s wrong? rafe, ever the perspective one, asks. aunt clary said that the wedding is cancelled. did something happen? where’s dad?

magnus swallows. good god, how is he going to tell them that their dad is dead - gone, like their grandpa robert, and never to come back? seeing them stare up at him with wide, innocent eyes, his fragile hold on his emtions crumble, and a tear leaks out of his eye.

papa, what’s wrong? max asks, urgency in his young voice. catarina is by his side instantly, her warm hand grounding magnus slightly. he braces himself.

max, rafael, he says, glad his voice only wavers slightly. do you remember what happened with grandpa robert?

yes, they say, eyebrows furrowing in confusion, not seeing how it has any relation to this situation. he’s in heaven, isn’t he? rafe asks. he’s somewhere far, far away. max adds.

magnus feels another tear fall out, and curses his weak control. yes, he says softly, and kneels down, taking their hands in his. and now your dad has joined him. you daddy is with his own daddy now, you see.

rafe isn’t even a teenager yet. and max is younger still. they’re so young. they shouldn’t have to deal with this.

he’s such a horrible father.

papa… there’s a dangerous hint of realisation in rafael’s voice, and magnus closes his eyes, not wanting to look in his sons’ eyes and see the moment they realise that their dad isn’t coming back. dad - he - he’s dead, isn’t he? and he’s not coming back.

somehow, hearing his son say it makes everything hurt more. ever since he found alec lying on the floor, magnus has been in a state of grief and shock. rafael saying this - it takes away the numbing shock, and intensifies the grief.

somehow, it’s worse.

max makes a horrified gasp. rafael lets out a strangled sob.

papa, it isn’t true right? max demands. he’s not dead. daddy’s not dead.

the tears fall freely now. (i’m so sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry) i’m sorry, max, rafe. he chokes out. but - but al - your dad’s gone. he’s dead. i’m sorry. i’m so, so sorry.

max wails, daddy, no, and rafael crumbles, and all magnus can do is gather his children in his arms and cry.

(you should have gotten to see max and rafe grow up - see them choose their own paths, see them fall in love. you didn’t get to. i’m sorry.)

the funeral is a sombre affair. there are many who wish to pay their respects to the hero of the mortal war, the one who spearheaded the peace between several species previously divided.

and so the funeral is a long one, figures in white coming and going.

but for the ones closest to him, they only wish to honour their loved one, one last time before they let him go.

maia and lily are there, along with several downworlders alec had befriended in his quest for unity. aline and helen and the blackthorns are there, standing a little way apart from the rest. clary and simon are there, their heads bowed in grief for their friend.

the lightwoods stand as the front. the lightwoods, once a proud family of six, are reduced to three. maryse cries for her eldest son, and jace and isabelle stare forlornly at their lost brother. next to them, magnus stands with max and rafael, the two boys huddled together, eyes red.

it’s a final gathering for alexander gideon lightwood, of those closest to him, of those he loved the most, and loved him back in return.

ave atque vale, alexander gideon lightwood.

ave atque vale, my friend.

ave atque vale, brother.

ave atque vale, father.

ave atque vale, my love.

hail and farewell.

look, look! max lightwood says excitedly, alec’s changing!! it’s a blue suit!

robert lightwood smiles proudly at his son, clad in warlock colours, and ruffles max’s hair. that’s our alec, isn’t it, max?

but then - it’s sudden, and it happens too fast for them to follow but the next moment, there’s a tall figure lying on the ground next to them.

no. it can’t be.

robert stares in horror as alec’s body, down on earth collapses. he turns his gaze to the figure on the floor, an exact replica of the one they were just watching.

alec? no, he can’t be - dead, max says, young eyes wide and horrified. he should be marrying magnus!

and robert takes max into his arms, because he’s in a similar state of grief and shock - alec shouldn’t be here, not now, not like this, not so soon - and together, they watch as alec, his spirit, stirs.

(i had hoped you wouldn’t join us until years after. the anggels are cruel - it should not be your time. not so soon.)

alec shifts. he feels - different, lighter. he blinks his eyes open. what happened? what -

no. he freezes at the sight before him, at the sight of his father, hugging his younger brother, as they both stare at him in shock.

both people who should be dead.

there’s only one explanation for this. it can’t be.

his voice is calm when he says, i’m dead, aren’t i? it’s calmer than he expected, because he’s - his emotions are a mess inside him, roiling and turning and he feels sick. but he knows he’s dead. that’s what the lightness is.

he can’t be dead right before his wedding.

his dread increases when robert gives him a slow, single nod. alec panicks.

magnus. what will he think? what will happen to him? and jace? isabelle? will they be okay?

will any of them be okay?

glancing around frantically, he sees a scene playing down beneath him. it’s a scene that adds to his horror - it’s his loved ones grieving over his body, broken in a way he’s never seen before.

he watches as theygrieve and take his body to the wedding hall. his heart breaks as magnus places the wedding rings in his hand, and presses them to his chest.

aku cinta kamu. he hears each word clearly, as if magnus is right next to him. as if magnus is with him, up here, right now.

but he’s not, he’s down there, and he’ll be down there for a long time, while alec will be here, watching and helpless and heartbroken.

he stays there, watching, as people clad in white pay their respects to him, but he cares not for them. he sees his friends, his family, he sees his mother and jace and isabelle, and magnus and max and rafael.

ave atque vale, they say.

my love, magnus says, and alec breaks.

i love you, he tries to tell magnus, but he can’t hear him, he never will again.

he should have gotten to say goodbye.

“…Part of what make Alec and Magnus so well-suited is that they’re not willing to accept compromises: when they get married, it’ll be in Shadowhunter gold and warlock blue, and it’ll be all the more fantastic and triumphant for that.” ~cassandra clare

AND. THIS MONSTER OF A FIC. IS FINALLY OVER. thanks for reading, if you had the patience, and i’m sorry if i shattered the organ that keeps you alive.

there are 123230948230394 plot holes and YEAH I KNOW I LET THE BASTARD GO but this focuses on the grief after alec’s death.

the bastard will die a slow, painful death i promise.

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little-birdseeker · 5 years ago

Text

A True Birdseeker

((Do you want to know, what happened before? Well, there you go!))

Today was the day! Isabelle had planed it for over a week, a now everything was ready! She would show her sister that she was a real, a true Birdseeker after all! No red hair anymore! No magic! Just a normal Miqo’te who worked as a weaver! And to become that, she had everything prepared!

She had found some beautiful clothes, which she had used to make a gorgeous dress out of them. A lime green top with a dark green skirt, just like her sister! And it also looked like her favorite dress she had made in Ul’dah! She had some fond memories of the time in the city of the rich and wealthy, especially of Nalama, who still lived and worked there. She should certainly visit her soon, to find out where she worked now! In her letters, the lalafell had told her about the stern manager of shop she worked in. A lalafell like herself, who everyone in the shop was afraid of. If Isabelle wouldn’t have known it better, she would have guessed it could be Valli, but the couldn’t be, could it?

She had also managed to get a viol of hair dye, which she had already used on herself, when she took a shower. Now, her hair and her tail weren’t red anymore, but blond, like her sister. Except… there remained some red streaks in her hair, as if she couldn’t get rid of all the red there was. It was a bit strange, but… a little red couldn’t hurt, could it? Her sister would still accept her, right? Well, she had to try, at least!

The only thing she wasn’t sure about was the renunciation of her magic. She had been really proud of it, and loved to produce magic sparkles every now and then, and also… now, that she didn’t magically support her chest with her magic, it felt reeeally heavy, and her back ached a little. But it should be okay! She could exercise more, that suuurely would help!

Now, the last thing to do was to find her sister in Kugane. Isabelle walked out of the house, past the aetherythe, because that still counted as using magic. She wasn’t allowed to do that, so she had to use the normal way: the boat. It would take her a bit longer to reach the city, yes, but it was worth it! Worth it, to become a real birdseeker!

---

“Hm, who are- Oh, Isabelle, it’s you!”, Iana exclaimed when seeing her transformed sister. “You look… good”, Iana said, not sure what she was supposed to say to her sister. “I worked veeery hard the last days!”, Isabelle said proudly. “It was sooo hard to find the riiight hair dye, you know? I had to run to aaall of Kugane to find it! And it costed a fooortune! But now it looks sooo good, and it smells sooo nice! Do you want to smell it? Do you?” Full of excitement, she pushed her head forward, in the direction of Ianas nose.

“Isa, Isa, calm down!”, Iana sad quickly and grabbed her sisters shoulders, before Isabelles head rammed into her own. “Yeah, they smell delightful, i’m sure, yeah”, she nodded, even though she hadn’t smelled a glimpse of it. “But i see you also got a new dress. Where did you get something so well made?” A big smile appeared on Isabelles face, before she answered her question. “I made it by myseeelf!”, she said proudly and placed a hand of top or her chest.

“...What? You? You made this?” Iana was baffled. This little mess of a sister made something like that? At home, everything she touched had become a terrible failure, one after another. No way she could have learned to weave so quickly! “Oh, come on, Isa, you don’t have to lie to your sister. Or do you want to prevent your sister from having such nice clothes? You aren’t that mean, are you?”, she chuckled, but noticed fairly quick the pouting Isabelle in front of her. “I’m nooot lieing!!”, Isabelle shouted before crossing her arms in front of her chest. “I did that aaall alone, reeeally! If you don’t beliiieve me, i can make yooou a dress! Aaand you can watch me doing it! Hmpf!” With a last snort, Isabelle looked at her sister, full of determination. Maybe a bit angry, too, but… it was still Isabelle, after all, so she looked rather cute then angry.

But… this determination… was that really her little sister? Iana remembered, that she had always been energetic, but… this Miqo’te was so full of determination, and it looked like she had done so much right, without failure. This was not like the sister she knew. But Isabelle couldn’t have changed so much since she had left home, could she? “Well, eh… another time maybe, okay? When i have enough time for that, i mean”, Iana responded, not quite sure about how she should feel about it.

“But eh, tell me, Isa,are you still using your magic?”, Iana asked, still a little bit jealous of her little sister about that topic. “Nope!”, Isabelle immediatly responded. “I abbandoned magic, so i could be a truuue Birdseeker! I even came here with the boat!”, she added, with a proud grinn on her face. Iana was surprised. Did her sister wanted to be accepted that badly? “Well, what a shame....”, Iana sighed while she let her finger draw some circles into the air, until a little flame poped up on her hand. “I thought we could compete against each other, you know? But, to be honest… I think, only the eldest sibling of the Birdseekers is responsible enough to handle magic, don’t you think?”, she chuckled while watching the little flame on her hand, until she looked back at her little sister.

Isabelle was shocked to see that. Magic! Her sister could also use magic?! How? When did she learn it? And… and... “I… i thought, we… we Birdseeker caaan’t use magic!”, Isabelle stuttered, not sure what to feel about it. “How did you leeearn it?!” - “Oh, Isa, you know… i got the blessing of someone, and now… well, it feels great, doesn’t it?” A smirk showed on her face. “But like i said, i think only i am responsible enough to handle it. I wouldn’t hurt anyone, like… others do.”

While Isabelle was still at loss of words, Iana spotted the young man she had been waiting for. “Oh, Edward, i’m here!”, she waved at him. “Sorry, Isabelle, but i’m a busy woman, and need to go, okay? It was really nice to see you again, and i’m proud of your progress. And i might have been wrong about you. You might be a true Birdseeker after all - if you can show me how to make such a wonderful dress, you hear?” She gave her little sister headpatt, before turning to her new companion, who didn’t even look at Isabelle. “I will write you a message when i have some time, okay? Bye~”

Isabelle however was at loss of words. What exactly did happen right now? Everything went so fast and had been sooo strange! It felt so wrong, so incredibly wrong! Why could her sister use magic? Not like she wouldn’t allow it, of course not! But somehow, she couldn’t be happy about it, either, although she knew she should. And also… why did that strange man, Edward, didn’t look at her? Well, not like she wanted people to look, but… she knew that most of the men couldn’t resist to take a glimpse of her, even if it was only for her face. But he… straight up ignored her. He felt like a zombie! Did… did her sister charm him? Isabelle had read about some charming spells, although she didn’t know why people used them. You couldn’t get true love from them, no way! And it was mean, too! But her sister… she wouldn’t use a charm spell! ...would she?

But… after her sister had left, Isabelle realised another thing. Iana seemed to be a bit… different than the last time she met her. Her hair was shinier, her skin smoother, her lips fuller. She also seemed to be a bit bigger, as well as her boobs? Isabelle wasn’t sure, but it felt so wrong, so extremely wrong. With all that in mind, she was only able to say an abashed “Eh, bye, Iana…”, before her sister left. Heavily thinking about everything that happened, Isabelle wandered back to the pier, so she could get back home.

---

The door of the free companies house felt heavier than this morning, but maybe it was just her imagination. Maybe she was just a bit tired. Also, her back ached heavily. She would need to train waaay harder now, if she wanted to live on without magic.

“Oh, who is there?”, asked the motherly voice of Azura from the couch nearby fireplace, who had been reading there. She stood up to see the guest, until she saw the strange looking Miqo’te. She seemed so familiar, but she couldn’t help herself. “And you ar- Oh, Isa, it’s you!” Again, Azura took a more careful look at the little cat. Yes, those red streaks in her hair, this was Isabelles red, without a doubt. And those eyes, of course, why didn’t she notice them earlier? And, well… her chest spoke for itself.

“You, eh… you changed”, she commented the new look of Isabelle, not quite sure what to think about it. She appeared to be happy and everything, but something was… wrong. She smiled, yes, but… only with her mouth, while the rest of her just… didn’t, in contrast to her usual behaviour. “Mhm!”, Isabelle nodded proudly. “I also met with my siiis today! She was also veeery proud of me!” - “Oh, is that so? How nice”, Azura commented, still not sure about the behaviour of the young woman in front of her. Was she happy? Or in pain? She couldn’t tell, and it worried her.

“And… and she told me, that i am nearly a truuue Birdseeker now! And that’s wooonderfull! ...isn’t it?” The last words came a little late, and where so quiet, so soft, so full of doubt. She wasn’t even sure herself. Azura was certain now. As if this little one would abandon everything she loved just like that and could be happy without it! “Oh Isa”, she said with a warm smile. “You have always been a true Birdseeker. Our true Birdseeker. That’s what the stars on your cheek stand for, if i remember correctly. At least, that’s what you told me about them when i asked you about those stars a while ago, didn’t you? You don’t have to change yourself, just because you think you are not worthy, or because someone else told you so. We all love you the way you were, the way you are, even if some people keep complaining about this or that. We have all our own flaws, and thats okay. And, to be honest, i would miss the real Isa. The little red cat, who loves magic and keeps running around and everything.”

While speaking Azura noticed, who tears where building up in the cute face of the little cat, and as soon as she tried to dry them with her sleeves, Isabelle started to cry painfully, before her head bumped into Azuras chest, with her arms wrapped around the motherly woman. She cried and cried, while mumbling some words. “Ijustwantedhertobeproudjusttobeproudandnowshecanusemagictooandimnotallowedtoandimissitsososomuchandimissmyredhairandmybackhurtssomuchandeverythingfeelssowrongandidontknowwhattodooooo!”, she cried. So many words, in such a short amount of time. How could someone be so cruel to her own sister, Azura wondered. How could she break the little heart of this precious little girl?

“It’s okay, Isa, it’s okay. Everything is okay. Just cry, i am here.” With her hand, she stroked through the now blond hair of the little Miqo’te, again and again, until she had an idea. “What do you think, shall we go to the bathroom and get rid of this dye?” Isabelle just nodded, while sniveling a few times. “Okay, then come with me. I will take care of it, trust me.”

A few minutes later, both of them were sitting in the shower, trying to get rid of the dye. Isabelle had calmed down a bit, but still sniveled every now and then. It would take her a while, that was for sure, but… this was now more important than anything for Azura. “Well, Isa…”, Azura broke through the silent splashing of the shower. “That dress… you made it yourself didn’t you? Do you want to tell me how you did that? And later, we could go an see the children, okay?” Isabelle nodded, thankful for everything the elezen did for her, and started talking, without a break. But Azura didn’t mind. At least, Isabelle was getting better, and that was the most important thing now.

((If you want to know how the story continues, click here~))

#Isabelle Birdseeker #Iana Birdseeker #story #writing #long post #the sisters #a true birdseeker #Birdseeker

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