#and sorry for the pain i inflicted. i DID warn you ahead of time!!

[chloecherrysip]

Absolutely nothing can stop Mario now. He's fought his way through the airship, he's found Luigi in the middle of a jailbreak, and he's finally about to reunite with his brother. What could go wrong?

Bowser happens to be nearby, though. And he's just had an epiphany about his new foe's biggest weakness.

(Alternatively: A Hypothetical Version of Mario & Luigi's Reunion in the Mario Movie That Would Cause Me Irreparable Psychic Damage.)

(I decided to clean this up a little and post it on AO3 too! A slightly rougher version is still available here on tumblr, but if you'd prefer this format, here you go!)

[asimplesimp4]

Let's Play a Game.

⚠️:Blood drinking, punishments, biting, blindness, restrained, tentacle mention.

Thump. Thump. Thump

*I was running so fast it sounded like a heartbeat. Not my current heartbeat.. It was going way too fast, this is unhealthy. Better than dieing. I was being chased by Alastor, THE RADIO DEMON. He likes to do these.. how do I explain this..? Predator/Prey games. I'm always the prey. If he finds me.. let's just say. I don't wanna find out. Sometimes it's good, like cuddles some other times when i piss him off like today.. it's a punishment. I scramble into a tree, my breathing shallow as I try to quietly catch my breath*

*I hear a raspy voice echo through my head. Two words bounce from ear to ear.*

"Oh Dear~"

*'Shit shit shit shit..' is all that fills my brain*

"You can't hide forever, my love." Alastor says, voice sultry.

*'Try me then, Bambi.' I argue back in my head.*

"Y/N~" he hums my name in a steady tone.

*Crack.*

*'What was thAT- OH SHIT'*

*The tree branch breaks under me.*

"I didn't even eat that much for lunch what the hell-" I look up. My eyes meet Alastor's.

*His smile stretches*

"Boo." he says, leaning down. I never got why he always bent down at a 90 degree angle- Shit. I should go.

*I scramble up and take off*

"Ah ah ahhh.. Not getting away that easily my little doe."

*You feel a hook around your waist. It yanks you back towards him.*

"Oomph!-" You grunt, the wind getting knocked out of you as you get slammed into his chest. How did his breath not get taken?

*You look up at Alastor. You couldn't tell if he was agitated or proud.*

"Now, my dear.. I found you. You haven't been obeying me quite well recently and i've found this to be a... hassle to deal with. You will be punished tonight darling."

*'Ok shit. Yea. He's angry.'*

"Al, I'm sorry! I'll be behaved!" you blurt out, afraid of punishment

**"It's too late for that, my love..."***

*Your breath quickens as your vision gets swept into darkness*

"Fuck! Alastor! Please-"

*He cuts you off.*

"Y/N. I've given you multiple warnings this week and all you've done is disobey me. This punishment will be enforced onto you. Whether you like it or not."

*Whilst he says 'not' you feel his tentacles grasp your wrists, pulling them behind your back. Now you're restrained and blind. Yay.*

----------💖-----------

***Warning Ahead.***

----------🍥-----------

*You feel his hot mouth enveloping your neck. Alastor bites down. You let out a breathy whimper*

"A-Al-"

"Shhh.."

*You feel his sharp teeth pierce your neck. Drawing blood. You hiss in pain, he pulls back with a 'Pop!'. Alastor starts to lap at the sore and bloody bruise he had inflicted onto your neck.*

"Delicious.. Always being good for your punishments..."

*You feel a gust of cold wind as he whisks you two away to your hotel room. You restore your vision. He's taking off his shirt. You're on the bed, panting softly. You look up at him*

"A-Alastor?- What are you doing, baby?"

*Alastor's eyes meet yours.*

"You're gonna be punished. And you're gonna scream my name."

------------🎀-----------

Idk- Should i finish this..? I'm also aware that alastor is aroace. This is fake. WHICH MEANS NOT CANON!!!!

[i-am-still-bb]

#5

No. 5: “You better pray I don't get up this time around.” | Debris | Pinned Down | “It's broken.”

Fili & Kili Rating: T Modern AU Ravenhill

910 words

--

Warnings for: guns, GSW, ambiguous / unwritten ending, capture, fighting, inflicted knee injuries.

This one's more traditionally whumpy.

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A/N: Everything I write for Whumptober will get added to Ao3 eventually. Just the effort of doing all the tagging... right now that's too much.

--

Fili held his Glock low; his other hand stretched out for balance and to stop him before he could slam face first into the rough cut stone walls. He could barely see and it was only getting darker. He strained to hear anything aside from his own breathing and Kili’s shuffling footsteps, soft rubber on stone. 

Fili stopped when he felt a solid wall less than three feet from his face. Kili bumped into him. 

“Watch where you’re going,” Fili hissed, his frustration and anxiety spilling over.

“Sorry,” Kili mumbled, a steadying hand on Fili’s low back, “Can’t fucking see.”

“Neither can I!”

Kili started to retort, but they both fell silent when they heard the sound moving in the passageway around the bend. Kili’s hand tightened. “Did you hear that?” 

Fili shushed him. “Stay here,” he ordered. 

But Kili was already on moving to peer around the corner where Fili could see the flickering of firelight.

“Kili!” he hissed, throwing up his  free hand to stop Kili.

Kili’s glance was sharp. “You think I’m letting you go alone?”

“Because I am.”

Kili shook his head. “I know what I’m doing. You’re not leaving me behind.”

Fili hesitated, his hand on Kili’s chest, took a deep breath, quickly weighing the odds. “Okay.” Kili started to move again but Fili stopped him. “But stay behind me.”

Kili rolled his eyes. But he did as Fili said. 

They could see where they were going now. The lights got brighter. And there were now voices, rough laughter, ahead of them. But they moved slower than ever. Fili alternated his focus from the floor, uneven and covered with bits of detritus that could easily make enough noise to get them noticed, and the light and voices ahead.

Floor.

Voices.

Floor.

Voices.

Flo—

—

“—t me go,” was the first thing that Fili remembered hearing. A sudden tunnel intersection, lights, voices, and then nothing until those words. He slowly gathered his hands under his shoulders and started to push himself up onto his hands and knees.

A foot slams down between his shoulder blades, shoving him back to the floor with an audible noise that reverberated through Fili’s body when his head hit the stone floor. “Don’t. Even. Think. About. It,” a voice commanded. 

Fili started to relax. Quickly, or as quickly as he could manage, trying to think of ways to change the situation or at least survive it. 

“Fili!” Any thought for his own self preservation went out the window when Fili heard Kili’s voice. Remembered that Kili had been with him. 

Fili twisted onto his side. Grabbed the ankle of the man standing over him. Pulled the boot close to his chest and twisted back the other direction, Fili’s leg coming up and hooking around the leg that he was holding on to, knocking the man down the ground in a flash. A shout, surprised. Hooking the foot of his occupied leg under his free leg Fili was able to leverage his hips higher until he felt something give and he heard the man now shout in pain. 

There were shouted orders, people moving, but Fili didn’t expand his focus from his immediate vicinity. He fumbled for the soldier’s belt, searching for a gun, anything. 

“Fili, look out!” 

Fili spun instinctually catching the blow on his shoulder, buckling his knee, rather than the intended head. Fili lunged forward, blocking another blow, and landing some punches of his own before driving his boot into the side of the other man’s knee. Before Fili’s boot even hit the ground he was dragged backwards, an arm around his throat and a hand on the back of his head. Before the unseen person could clamp down though Fili got his hand in between his neck and the arm seeking to cut off his air supply. Fili shifted one way, then the other, looking for openings, but his opponent knew what Fili was doing. He kept his head ducked and close to Fili’s own, his hair was short, he kept his hips back, and his feet wide. 

A shot rang out, cracking and echoing in the stone chamber, and Fili dropped. His opponent now supported the bulk of Fili’s weight before adjusting to a kneeling position. 

“FILI!”

“I’m alright,” Fili panted. The grip around his neck loosened now that he was not fighting. His right leg was numb below the hip, blood seeping from the wound in his thigh. A wound that was mostly hidden by his fatigues and the blood. He tried to push himself to stand using his one good leg. But he was easily pulled off balance. His butt hit the ground hard and he grunted at the sudden pain of it.

Kili swallowed visibly. His captors and the chains on Kili’s hands had done a far better job containing him than Fili’s guards had been. 

“Now, can we all just be civilized?” Azog drawled. Fili recognized him immediately from Thorin’s description and from the mugshots they had all been shown.

“You better pray I don't get up this time around,” Fili growled.

—

The End?

Select your own ending -

Our “orcs” are dumb and missed the flashbang that Fili and/or Kili had in their pocket.

Bilbo shows up (sneaking up behind the leader) with a k-bar and a silenced pistol

Thorin does something ill-advised, but it does get the “orcs’” attention

[insert movie-ish ending here]

Elves??

Other (share in the notes or a reblog!)

--

Taglist: @silvermoon-scrolls

[smplyanakin]

I LOVED unforgiving of darkness, please consider a p2 I would love to see them reunite in the future. Maybe they help him or he helps them in some way or maybe they’re now enemies idk I’d love to read more. It was so perfect I need more😍 you’re a damn talented writer!!

Thank you so much, I LOVE YOU! I'm so sorry i took a bit too respond, but i'm here now and finished with part 2 of Unforgiving of Darkness.

Unforgiving of Darkness (part 2)

anakin x fem reader

word count: 621

warnings: tinsy bit of angst and change of og story (not rlly a warning.)

Anakin stood on the fiery planet of Mustafar, his eyes fixed on the destruction he had caused. He had just finished carrying out the Chancellor’s orders to eliminate the Separatist Council, and the weight of his actions was suffocating him.

As he looked out at the burning landscape, he caught a glimmer of movement in the distance. A ship was approaching, and he could sense that it was someone he knew. Anakin’s heart skipped a beat as he realized that it was you.

He started to run towards your ship, his mind racing with confusion and desperation. When he reached the landing pad, he saw you standing there, your eyes fixed on him with a mix of concern and fear.

Before he could say anything, you stepped towards him, a determined look on your face. You could feel the turmoil within him, the darkness that threatened to consume him completely. But you could also sense the glimmer of hope that still burned within him.

“Anakin,” you said firmly, “I know you’re lost. But you don't have to stay lost. You can come back from this.”

Anakin looked into your eyes, and for a moment, he felt a glimmer of hope. But he was stubborn and resistant, convinced that he had done what he needed to do to secure a better future for the two of you.

“No, you don't understand,” he said, his voice strained. “I did this for us. For our future.”

You could sense the desperation in his words, the fear that he had made the wrong choice. You knew that he was hurting, but you also knew that he needed to be pulled back from the darkness.

“Anakin,” you said, your voice softening, “I know you did what you thought was right. But this isn’t the way. We can find a better path forward, together.”

You stepped towards him, reaching out to take his hand. He hesitated for a moment, but then he relented, taking your hand in his. You could feel the tension in his grip, but you didn’t let go.

In that moment, he knew that he needed to change, to find a way back to the light. It wouldn't be easy, and there were still many challenges ahead, but you were determined to help bring back the Anakin Skywalker you once knew and met back on Tatooine.

As the hours passed, Anakin started to open up to you, telling you about the pain and fear that had driven him to the dark side. He began to really see the destruction he had caused and the hurt he had inflicted on those he loved.

With your support and guidance, Anakin started to see a way out of the dark place he had been stuck in. He had a long road ahead of him, but he was willing to try.

Together, you left Mustafar behind, ready to face whatever the future held. Anakin was still struggling with his inner demons, but he was willing to fight for a better future, for himself and for you.

In the days and weeks that followed, you worked with Anakin, helping him to rediscover his connection to the light side of the Force. It was a slow and difficult process, but you were patient and supportive, never giving up on him.

As time passed, Anakin slowly started to heal. He still struggled with guilt and regret, but he was learning to live with the mistakes of his past and to move forward with a renewed sense of purpose.

And through it all, you stood by his side, a constant source of love and support. Together, you faced the challenges ahead, ready to build a brighter future, one step at a time.

[the-iceni-bitch]

The Bachelor Disaster

Part II/II

Pairing: dilf!Steve Rogers x tattoo artist fem!reader, implied slutty!Bucky Barnes x soft!dom Thor Odinson

Words: ~1.3k

Summary: The boys make it to the hospital just in time.

Warnings: explicit language, mentions of attempted public sex, Bucky still making bad decisions but he’s cute so we forgive, everyone loves Thor, kink activation for Steve, 18+ ONLY!!!

A/U: Only a little late but I did it!! Just had a few scenes I had to get out before the wedding and the very eventful wedding night 😘

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all the latest filth, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!!

They managed to make it to the hospital in just under two hours, this in spite of Bucky trying to repeatedly drag Thor to the plane’s bathroom so they could finish what they had started even with everyone scolding him nonstop about how his being a slut was going to end up getting him killed and the giant blonde telling him that if he couldn’t get ahold of himself he was going to spank him in front of all of their friends.

But now Steve was dragging him through the maternity ward’s waiting room while Connor sprinted ahead of all of them once they finally found out what room Becca was in, ignoring his best friend’s pleas to protect him from whatever punishment his mother was going to inflict on him. Bucky almost made a run for it when Winnie came storming out after Connor made his way back to the delivery room, but then Steve spotted you sitting across the lobby and shoved Bucky at his mother without thought when you smiled at him.

“Toronto? Toronto?!” Winnie grabbed Bucky’s ear and yanked when he tried to back away as he struggled to stammer out an explanation. “I sure hope whoever you were trying to get under was worth me and your sister wanting to kill you.”

“Ah, Mrs. Barnes, I’m afraid I’m to blame for this whole mess.” Winnie froze when Thor wandered up to them and gave her a very charming smile, squeaking when he clasped her free hand in his and squeezed it warmly. “I’m the one who flew everyone to Canada on a whim with just the barest suggestion from James here, I feel truly terrible. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you. Congratulations on your grandchildren. I will talk to you later, James.”

Both Winnie and Bucky watched Thor in silence as he sauntered away after kissing Bucky’s hair, her hold on Bucky’s ear not relaxing until he let out a pained whine and they both came back to themselves.

“He’s… very handsome.” Winnie frowned at Bucky when he just gave her a sheepish grin. “Oh for… just go see your sister, always an idiot for a pretty smile.”

Steve chuckled as he watched Winnie shove Buck back towards the delivery room, winding his arms around you and purring when you rose on your toes to kiss his cheek.

“Hi Stevie.” You hummed when he wound his arms around you and bent to bury his face in your neck. “Sorry your party got ruined.”

“It’s ok, doll, missed you.” He rubbed his nose over yours and grinned when you let out a squeak as he squeezed you. “How was your party?”

“The spa was amazing, thank god Becca didn’t go into labor until we were done.” You sighed into his mouth when he brushed his lips over yours. “I think she might have died if her water broke on the massage chair while she was getting a pedicure.”

“Well, I’m sorry your weekend of relaxation got derailed.” Steve couldn’t stop humming happily into your mouth as he kept his lips slotted against yours, his big arms squeezing you tight and his face split in a warm grin as you kept your eyes fixed on his. “But all the changes are kinda exciting. Beck’s gonna be a mom, Bucky’s gonna be an uncle, and you… you, doll, you’re gonna be my wife. In two days, I’m gonna marry you.”

“Is it weird that the most surprising out of all of those is that Bucky’s gonna be an uncle?” You giggled when he shook his head and kissed you again. “Can’t wait to marry you, Stevie.”

He was about to mirror the sentiment when Bucky burst into the waiting area looking both ecstatic and nauseated, whooping excitedly and sprinting towards you and Steve before jumping into Steve’s arms.

“Holy shit, I’m a fucking uncle!” You laughed when Bucky let Steve sweep him off his feet and swing him around, the brunette beaming at you and scrunching up his nose while Steve kissed his cheeks. “Fuck me, this is a lot of responsibility, I dunno if I’m ready for it. Jesus, I might throw up.”

“Do not throw up on me Barnes.” Steve set Bucky down and kissed the top of his head, grinning when his friend wobbled a little bit. “You’re gonna do fine. How’s Becks?”

“Well, the good news is that the drugs and the fact that she just popped out two tiny people made her forget how much she should want to kill me.” Bucky ran a hand through his hair and shrugged, his eyes roaming over the lobby aimlessly like he wasn’t looking for some blonde giant to celebrate with. “Becca asked for you, gorgeous, said you were her rock tonight so she wants you and that dumb blonde you’re marrying… what?” Bucky gave Steve a look of innocence when he swatted his shoulder. “She said it, not me. Anyway, she wants you to meet the little dudes first.”

“Really?” Bucky winked and nodded at you, giving Steve one more squeeze before letting him go as they watched you head back to the delivery room.

“Where’s Thor?”

“Christ, you’re not gonna fuck him in a hospital after your sister just gave birth to your nephews.” Steve shook his head when Bucky gave a nervous titter and tried to scurry away. “It’s not gonna happen, the man is trying to make a good impression on your family for some reason, quit being a slut. Why don’t you go think about changing your first dirty diaper?”

Steve laughed when he watched all the blood drain from Bucky’s face, rushing to follow after you and washing his hands before heading to Becca’s room. He had thought he was fully prepared for whatever was going to be waiting for him, but then he walked through the door and he felt like he’d been hit in the gut with a brick.

“Hi baby, this is Asher .” You grinned at Steve while he just stood in the door blinking at you, bouncing the baby in your arms with a huge grin on your face and nodding toward the little bundle that was in the tiny bed in front of you. “And that’s Nathan. Why don’t you come say hi?”

The sight of you with a brand new baby in your arms was sending him reeling. He’d definitely felt something like this before, every time you held Sarah or made her laugh or all three of you snuggled under a blanket while you watched a movie, for some reason he just ended up almost driving you through the headboard once Sarah finally fell asleep.

But that was nothing compared to what he felt right now.

A baby… a fucking baby. You… with a baby. His brain wasn’t able to function properly with the visual it was presented with, all he could think of was you with his baby, a baby that the two of you made together, and exactly how you would look while the two of you made that baby, your sweat soaked body pinned underneath his while he drove into you deep and swallowed every desperate noise you made while he filled your sweet little pussy over and over and over again until it took.

He was going to pass out.

“Steve?” You were giving him a curious look as you continued bouncing little Asher, smiling when he finally managed to come back to himself a bit and let out a small grunt of acknowledgement. “Come hold this baby, Stevie. Almost makes you want one, huh?”

He almost choked on his tongue, managing to pass it off as a chuckle at your joke (or maybe not a joke, god he hoped it wasn’t). Shit, he needed to get you off your birth control.

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

Just for One Day - Part Four

Summary: Completing the mission

A/N: Hello Lovelies,

Who knew that this one-off would turn into a mini-series.

I hope you guys are loving how this is progressing, there will be one more part, it’s still in the works, but it’ll get posted. 

Warnings: Arguing, tension, grief, angst, fluff, discussions of moving on, politics, inflicting an injury to deceive, mentions of pain and screams, mentions of betrayal, mentions of torture, I think that’s it, if I miss any please let me know. 

Part Three - Part Five

AO3 Link   |   OS & MS Master List |   Main Master List  

“I told Hunter, I didn’t need any bodyguards or shadows following me to my location” Ava’s voice carried over to where I was standing in front of the Marauder. 

“Yes, so you’ve said for the tenth time” Tech’s irritated voice cutting through the wind.

“You have to admit however it’s a good thing we came, otherwise you would’ve made a lovely dinner for that Nexxu”

“Excuse you, Echo, but I had the situation well in hand”

“I beg your pardon,” I didn’t have to see Tech’s finger go up to drive his point home to know Ava was probably rolling her eyes at him, “but being cornered in an niche with no way out doesn’t seem as though you had the situation well in hand”

“I was waiting to make my move, if you must know.”

“Which was?” Echo leaned forward looking at Ava as they entered the clearing coming closer to the ship, “Because I have to tell you, from what I saw I’d have to agree with Tech, it didn’t seem as though you had a plan.”

“Well it’s not as though I had a chance to actually execute my plan, since you two decided to step in; but let me tell you, if I had made my move you would have been thoroughly impressed”

“Yeah… don’t see it”

“It’s a good thing you guys weren’t supposed to be in stealth mode, I could hear the three of you for the past ten minutes” I chuckled as I took in all three, each having a varying degree of irritation laced across their faces, as they walked closer to where I stood.

“Hunter, can you please tell this woman, we were simply trying to help”

“Echo’s right, they were only trying to help and on my orders.”

“Listen, I’m not saying I didn’t appreciate their help, since they did in fact save me; but how am I supposed to trust you guys to follow my orders?”

“We weren’t told to follow your orders. We follow Hunter’s, and for your information the rest of our orders come from above you.” Tech’s tone was rather tense when he spoke with her, if their current discussion and level of annoyance was any indication, it was clear they’d all been arguing for some time. 

“Despite the annoyances that all three of you seem to be expressing, how did everything go?”

“Not bad, they took my information with a calm cool air” Ava glanced back to Tech and Echo, her eyes were taking them in longer than I had expected. She let out a sigh, as her hands rested on her hips, she dropped her head for a second before looking at the two of them again, “Guys, I’m …ugh! I’m sorry for arguing with you the entire walk back, and thanks for …” she motioned with her hand, “For having my back. I appreciate it," they simply nodded towards her, acknowledging her thanks, as they headed into the Marauder without further discussion or even looking at our direction.

“Hunter, there’s something I wanted to ask” 

I simply nodded indicating she could go ahead, “Just keep in mind, I may or may not answer depending on the question”

“Fair enough,” she took in a deep breath and focused her attention on me, “why did you send Tech and Echo to follow me?”

“That’s your question?”

“Yeah, why did you send them?”

I shrugged my shoulders not really understanding why she was upset, “Why not? They came in handy, didn’t they?”

“I told you, I didn’t need help”

“Is that the argument you’re going to keep spewing, even after they saved you from a Nexxu?”

She bit her lip looking away from me, “Alright, I’ll admit, I was glad when they showed up and saved my ass. I may have been lying before when I said I plan, however, you can’t always be following me.”

“Alright, first let’s get one thing straight, I won’t always be following you. Secondly, you were our responsibility during this mission, what I did was to make sure your mission and ours was a success. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

“So I’m just a mission to you?”

“As oppose to …?”

Her eyes looked taken back for a second, before she shook her head, “Never mind. You’re right, you had to make sure your mission succeed, just as much I needed to make sure mine did. However, as long as we’re clear on your reasoning”

“What other possible reason could I have?”

Ava glanced behind me, she closed her eyes and took a noticeable swallow as her hands fidgeted against the hem of her top, she simply nodded as she opened her eyes and looked into mine, there was a weird smile on her lips, it didn’t quite reach her eyes, “You know, I can’t think of anything.”

“Neither can I,” there was a weird silence that had fallen over the two of us, and for some reason that silence had made me more uncomfortable than all my previous interactions with her, it made me feel fidgety, I cleared my throat, garnering her attention once again, “Um … did they say anything with regard to the rest of this mission?”

“No” Ava’s countenance changed once again, there had been a far away look on her face which seemed to quickly fade at my question, “they simply took the information I gathered under advisement, and felt that even though yes it was important, important ‘enough’ to risk meeting them. There was … how did they put it …” she tapped her chin, “Oh right, ‘thank you for bringing this to our attention, however, this is not a priority matter and will be looked into when an opportunity arises’.”

“Seriously?” I quirked my eyebrow at her

“Seriously. I am so pissed right now. I risked my life, I risked blowing my cover, my ability to work within the Empire for this information, and it’s ‘not a priority matter’ are kriffing kidding me! Then what the hell was the point of it all! I mean you and I both know there is some shady nonsense going on, especially if Kaminoan scientists are involved. What do they think they're doing, cloning flowers, cute animals, animals on the verge of extinction? Like people use that matter that holds cognitive function and reason!”

I couldn’t help smile and chuckle a little at her outrage, it reminded me a little of when Perap had argued with Esmae on the mountain, what really shocked me was when a small chuckle erupted from her lips. 

“Sorry, if you can’t tell I can sometimes get passionate about my work”

“Gotta love what you do, or who you do it for”

“Do you love your work?”

I shifted my head from side to side, “It has its moments. Sometimes you meet a crazy lady, who hates when people try to do something nice for her” I smirked.

She giggled as she glanced away, “Yeah, sorry about that, honestly it didn’t bother me that they were there. My frustrations with Tech and Echo may have been more vocal because I was frustrated with my contact rather than them.”

“Well then, it seems to me you owe them an apology, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yeah, I’ll apologize as soon as I’m on board.” She rubbed her forehead, letting out another sigh of exhaustion, “I just … how can they not see that it’s important for them to know the truth behind whatever it is the Kaminoans are doing. They made an entire army, a whole race of people out of one person, not to mention Kaminoans themselves are clones; doesn’t anyone see the giant waving red flag, that is glaringly obvious?”

“Maybe it’s not that they don’t see it, maybe it’s the fact they don’t have the resources to pursue a potential threat as opposed to a valid and imminent one, or a threat that they know if they attack it outright would be a losing battle.”

“Yeah, I get it and I see your point and I guess theirs. I’m not saying that we go, bomb where the scientists are and just hope we did the right thing, I just … I guess what I’m saying is … you know knowledge is the key and … ugh! I’m so annoyed I can’t even think straight. You know, sometimes the bureaucracy we encounter in the rebel alliance is worse than the Senate. It’s almost as though they’re all too afraid to actually make a move.”

“Would you want to be the one to send people out to their deaths if that was the option?”

“No. But come on you gotta feel as though things aren’t right with this, they’re working on something and no one … I mean absolutely no one is allowed to know.”

“You’re right, some thing’s not right, but you waging a one-woman war on trying to find out what it is, isn’t going to help either. Just breathe and remember being part of a rebellion is not a quick fix, it’s a long arduous journey that takes time and resources. We need to make strategic moves, hit strategic targets in order to bring down the entire system.”

“Ugh! Why are you so logical? Isn’t that Tech’s job? Can’t you just blindly follow my crazy ramblings and insane ideas?”

“Maybe next time” I sniggered

“Well regardless, thanks for listening”

“That’s what a leader does”

“Hunter, Ava, we’re good to go” Wrecker called out to us.

I gave Wrecker a nod, acknowledging I heard him, as soon as he headed back in, I motioned for Ava to head on in, she nodded as she shifted around me and walked onto the Marauder, it wasn’t long before we left the moon and headed to Ord Mantell. 

- - - - - - - - - - - 

Ava had brought up good points, why did the rebellion not want to know about what the Kaminoans were doing. The last time they had their own lab things clearly went awry, should we really let them just continue working for the Empire with no oversight from the rebellion? Maybe there was already someone inside the lab helping the rebels? It was a possibility. 

I sat on the bench by the kitchenette thinking over our conversation, and no matter which way I thought of it, it simply just didn’t make sense as to why the rebellion didn’t want to know. No, there had to be more reasons, then just simply cloning, wouldn’t it? Unless, they’re trying to make more clone troopers? But that didn’t make sense, Rampart was in charge of ridding the army of clones. Gregor confirmed that notion back on Daro. Maybe they were trying to find a cure for some disease? But then why make it top secret? No. Ava had a point, whatever they were working on it would be something that affected the entire galaxy.

Hunter: Dimed, cargo picked up and dropped off. Heading back home, to unload the rest.

Dimed: Excellent, I knew I could count on you, I’ll make sure to let the cargo owners know their shipment has been delivered. 

Hunter: Thanks dad. How’s things where you are?

Dimed: As well as can be expected, the white lilies are popping up everywhere on Alderaan.

I furrowed my eyebrows at the last statement, white lilies was code for storm troopers, it was a rather aggressive weed on Alderaan that had been known to choke out entire farmlands. I wondered if maybe the Queen and Senator had lost some influence with the Senate and the Emperor, causing an increase in troop movements. 

Hunter: Have to be careful that those weeds don’t get on your property.

Dimed: Don’t worry son, made sure to take the proper precautions, they won’t be able to take root in our village.

Hunter: I’m glad, please be careful

Dimed: You too, my boy. Give my love to your brothers and sister, tell her I have a surprise for her when you guys come to visit. 

Hunter: Will do.

Dimed: Before you go, I forgot to tell you the eagle I found in the backyard, with the broken wing, is on the mend. In fact, it’s all fixed and she’s ready to take off.

At least they were able to fix the transport ship’s transponder code, and were able to wipe it’s memory systems clean. Last thing Ava needs on top of the already frustrating outcome, is a transport ship that will lead the Empire to the Rebel Alliance. 

Hunter: I’ll make sure to let everyone know, I know it was a topic of discussion just the other day. I’m glad to hear the eagle is ready to go home. See you soon, dad.

Dimed: See you soon, son.

We’ll definitely need to make a return trip to Alderaan and soon, I needed to make sure Dimed was safe, I hated that he was still there, instead of travelling with us, but he was our relay and frankly there’s no where else he wanted to be, despite my pleadings. I wonder what would it take for him to leave? Maybe if we got a bigger ship?

I was lost in thought thinking of all the possibly scenarios available for Dimed to leave Alderaan, when Ava took the seat in front of me, “Tech was just telling me, the goal is for me to sneak through Ord Mantell, until I can get to docking bay 3-267, where there’s a ship fuelled and ready to go for me, or at least that’s the hope.”

“Did you actually apologize to Tech and Echo, before asking for all the details you needed?”

“Yes, dad, I apologized, and for your information Tech offered up the plan willingly. I didn’t have to ask.”

“Good and yes, you’ll be on your own on Ord Mantell, we’re too well known there, don’t worry Tech’s worked the system out quite well. However, there will still be someone watching your back, even if you might not see them. I received word, your transport is ready, nothing fancy mind you, but she’s got it where it counts. It’s just a simple beat up transport, something pirates would have lying around, and no one would doubt you’d been able to steal it. It’s fuelled, memory wiped, and the transponder code’s been changed. I’d double check the fuel memory if I were you, just in case they forgot to wipe that system, otherwise once we land you can just make your way to docking bay 3-267.”

“Is that the story we’re going with, pirates kidnapped me?”

“Yes, there’s enough pirates out there willing to kidnap Imperial officers, hoping to either get credits from the rebellion or from the Empire. You can say you were blindfolded the entire time, unable to see who it was the took you, and once you were in your cell you were able to break free.”

“You know you’ll have to give me a convincing bruise at the very least”

“I know, don’t worry Tech worked something out, we were going to punch you to give you the desired effect, but when Echo initially refused and brought up the point we could be doing more harm than good, Tech devised something less evasive. But who knows, Tech and Echo may want to take a shot at you now, and forgo whatever Tech invented.” I offered smirking, as I quirked my eyebrow.

“Is that concern I note in your voice?”

“Hardly, more like fair warning”

“Good enough,” she offered me a soft smile, it illuminated her face so beautifully, it threw me off, “Why not Wrecker?”

I laughed a lot harder than I probably should’ve at that moment, “You get a punch from Wrecker, you’re not waking up”

“I’m not that fragile”

“Didn’t say you were. Just stating the obvious, Wrecker is the strongest amongst us and his punches have been known to dent durasteel.”

She nodded in admiration, “Alright so not Wrecker” she giggled, her hands fidgeted with one another as she rested them on top of the table, “I wanted to also say thank you”

“For?”

“For agreeing to help me out, for listening to my rants, and for making me feel safe”

“We didn’t do much”

“No, Hunter. You did more than enough, it’s not every day you can travel with a bunch of bounty hunters new to the rebellion and feel like they have your back. You guys are … you’re one in a million. However, you also have to be careful, just because we’re all part of the rebellion, doesn’t mean you can trust everyone.”

“Something you want to tell me?”

“No. Just … a fair warning.”

I simply hummed in response as I drank my tea. I wasn’t in the mood to talk more especially since she still was wearing Perap’s clothes. Not sure what got into me, but I swallowed the cup down in one shot, I stood without looking at her and put the cup in the sonic washer, “You should change”

“What?”

I was getting too comfortable in her presence, that was unacceptable. Unacceptable to Perap. She was already wearing her clothes. She got to meet the guys. She made a good impression on Omega. She didn’t need my friendship too. “You. Should. Change.”

“Oh. Oh, right. Anyway thank you, hopefully if we run into each other again it’ll be under better circumstances.”

“I doubt we’ll run into each other, it’s not exactly like I’m hanging around Empire controlled planets”

“True, but you never know” there was an odd sense of hope in her voice, I could see out of the peripheral of my eye, her hand reaching forward to touch my arm, but something made her stop, she pulled her hand back, and walked off. 

Ugh, this wave of annoyance and frustration filled me as soon as she left, why did she irritate me so much? Was it simply because she was wearing Perap’s clothing? Was it because she was adamant about not having us follow her? Was it because she took her frustrations out on Tech and Echo? Or was it something else?

After all I couldn’t exactly disagree with what the guys were saying, she was pretty, she was easy to talk to, and she seemed nice, even Omega thought she was kind. Apparently, while they were looking over the clothes Omega had to offer, Ava asked her if she was okay after hearing the news about the scientists, I had to admit it was nice of her to reach out to Omega, something not many adults did, besides the ones we considered friends. Then why did she frustrate me? It’s almost as though at times I’d forget I was irritated and then it would all come flooding back with a vengeance. 

Despite everything everyone was saying about her, I couldn’t just forget about Perap. I simply couldn’t just brush her aside, as though nothing happened. I didn’t want to forget about her. I ran my hands through my hair letting out a frustrated sigh.

“Hunt, can I say something?” Despite Wrecker’s size he could be quite stealthy when he needed to be, I turned to look at him, at the moment he looked small and sheepish as he took a seat on the bench. I simply nodded, “It’s not my place to say anything, or maybe it is, I’m not sure. But, just because you’re moving on doesn’t mean you’re forgetting about Perap.”

“Did I say or do something just now to make you think that?”

“No, just remembering what you said earlier,” he let out a deep sigh, “Hunt, I don’t know what it’s like to lose someone you love, but I do know what I feel without Crosshair being here, and knowing he chose not to be with us.” I could sense the sadness from Wrecker as he talked about our missing vod, “Just because he isn’t here, doesn’t mean we forget about him, we remember all the good times we had, the fights, the teasings, the endless competitions we had. I miss him, Hunter. I miss him a lot.” I could see tears were beginning to well up in his eyes, “There are days where I wonder if it was my fault, he didn’t stay. If maybe I pushed him too far when we were on Kamino, if maybe I hadn’t raised my gun …”

“Wrecker, no. Crosshair’s decision was his and his alone. It wasn’t anything you did or I did, or anything Tech, Echo or Omega did. He decided where his loyalties lied, and it wasn’t with us.”

“Then you can’t keep beating yourself up too, losing Crosshair, losing Perap, those were things out of your control. I know you don’t want to move on from her, but is holding on to a memory helping you in any way? Every day you become a little more sad, a little more hallow, a little less the Hunter we know and love. Moving on, doesn’t mean you will love her any less if you allow someone new into your life. Allowing Omega into my life, doesn’t mean I love Crosshair any less, or replaces the feelings of missing him, but it does make it easier to deal with.”

“Thanks Wreck” I couldn’t help but be proud of my vod, I gave him my biggest smile, he was right. Holding on to the memory of Perap wasn’t helping me, if anything it was slowly killing me, and my family needed me. They needed me here. “I’ll take what you said under advisement, doesn’t mean, I’ll be ready to move on, but I appreciate the talk.”

“Any time” Wrecker grabbed me and gave me a bone-crushing hug, before he headed back to the cockpit. 

“He’s right you know” I turned to look at Ava who was leaning against the durasteel wall, now in her uniform, it was torn, slightly dirty, looking as though she really went through some things, all of that effort to sell her story. 

“About?” My tone indicated I wasn’t impressed with her eavesdropping.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but Wrecker isn’t exactly quiet.” I chuckled, yeah it’s true, Wrecker was many things but whispering wasn’t a very skilled feature of his, “Listen moving on, doesn’t mean you don’t love them or you’re forgetting them, it just means you’re learning to love them in a different way.”

My head nodded along, “Sounds like you speak from experience”

She moved to lean against the table in front of me, “I am” she fidgeted with her hair, before clearing her throat, “remember I mentioned about the spy that got close”

“Yeah”

“His name was Galen, he was my best friend, my partner in crime, the person I could see myself having a future with. He was the best of us.” She shifted against the table, “The man I was dating at the time, Anu, he …” she cleared her throat, “he was captured by the Empire, or so we thought at the time”

“But he wasn’t”

“No. Anu wasn’t” there was such a strong look of distrust and anger in her eyes, it made me realize I hadn’t been the only one to lose something in this life. Not that I thought I was, but those that did always seemed so distant from me, so far removed. “He revealed the truth about Galen, told the Empire he was a force-sensitive spy. He was captured, tortured, and put to death a few days after. When Anu ‘returned,’ I made sure to be the one to greet him. I had learned the truth about who he was, a double agent. I received permission from the higher ups, to take him somewhere secluded, and take my time with him. I made sure to repay him for all the things the Empire did to Galen. I made a point to make sure he was completely unidentifiable should his remains be found. Doubt if they ever were, last I checked he’s still marked MIA in the database.”

“Did Galen ever learn about how you felt?”

“No. Timing was never right for us. Doesn’t mean I loved him any less.”

“How do you move on though?”

“It takes time. Doesn’t happen all at once. You just have to start off with something small”

“Such as?”

“Talking - not flirting, not dating, not even focusing on attraction — just good old fashioned small talk, which will lead to more conversations, which will lead you to meet new people, and maybe one of those new people will strike a fancy.” 

“Has that happened?”

A small smile appeared on her lips, “Maybe. It’ll surprise you, sneak up on you when you least expect it, somehow make you question whether you really have moved on, or if maybe you’re just deluding yourself. 

Then one day you’ll find yourself walking into a cantina, and there you’ll find someone sitting with a poncho at the far end of the bar, with a solemn presence surrounding him, a countenance you know all too well. He’ll be someone who can understand what it means to lose the person you love. And before you know it, you can’t help yourself but wanting to find a way to make him feel better, maybe by flirting a little at the bar, holding his hand, leaning a bit further into his side, then you ever intended to, or had done since you lost him. 

You’ll almost be taken aback when you realize the pain and hurt you had been carrying around from missing him all that time, vanished like the wind blowing dust into the air. Then you can’t help but want to know more about him, and having conversations you thought you’d never have with anyone else. It’ll surprise you, and it’ll make you realize that all you ever needed was a cup of Mustafar Lava Cider Tea and a soothing conversation to know you are ready to move on. 

That’s when you realize, everything in life has a time to begin and a time to end Hunter, it’s just up to us to accept those endings so new things can begin.”

“Not sure, if I’ll ever be ready to no longer feel that pain and hurt, Ava. But hopefully when that day comes, I’ll end up meeting a nice enough woman, who is willing to strike up a conversation first. Someone who pulled me out of my shell with a simple phrase, such as ‘see now that’s really unfortunate.’ Maybe someone who’ll understand that despite how beautiful I think she may be, my feelings of guilt are overwhelming, and flashes of memories from before keep appearing in my mind, while I’m talking to her. At least, I’m grateful she’s willing to have easy conversations with my family, willing to try different types of teas, and kind enough to have the kind of conversation that would make me think about a future possibility.”

“Well we can always hope for that one day”

“I agree, let’s hope for that one day”

“Maybe when that day comes, the man in the poncho will be able to find me and buy me another drink, and hopefully this time instead of it being for an assignment, it’ll be because he’s willing to take that step with me.”

“I can’t see why he wouldn’t, as long as the kind woman takes care of herself, and makes sure to live to see that day”

“I’m sure she will, as long as he promises to take care of himself, and makes sure to live to see that day, too”

“I have no doubt he’ll make every effort to live up to that promise.”

Silence filled between us, as a smile etched on her lips, I appreciated that she knew what to say, and not to push more on the subject. She handed me a piece of flimsi, I looked at it, reading a comm link number.

“If you ever need to talk, that’s my encrypted line.”

I nodded, sending her my comm link, “Just sent you mine”

“Landing on Ord Mantell in ten minutes!” 

“Thanks Tech!”

“One day” Ava smirked at me as she leaned against the table.

“One day” I’m not sure at what point things shifted, but the fact she understood, the fact she was willing to wait, it surprised me, and brought a small smile to my face. The ship jolted as we landed in the docking bay, neither of us realizing we had been staring at each other for the past ten minutes.

Tech called her over, into the open area behind the cockpit, “Alright, right now I hacked into the terminal feed, and we’re recording for a loop for when you exit the ship. Now I can give you a bruised cheek, or would you prefer a bruised rib?”

“Both”

He simply nodded, I watched as he pulled out a medical scan unit, “Let me be clear, this is highly experimental and have no idea how it will work, it could make the injuries quite severe”

“It’s okay Tech, I think in this case, the worser the injuries, the better the cover. Wouldn’t you agree?”

He simply nodded, as he passed the scan, Ava looked as though she was in excruciating pain. Just when I thought it was over, she let out the most horrendous scream, I ever heard, “Tech, stop!”

“No! I can handle it!”

“You sure?”

“Yes, continue”

I looked away, I couldn’t stand to see that look on her face or hear the screams. Echo had pulled Omega away when she started to look as though she was going to pass out from the pain, I’m glad he made sure to close the cockpit doors, so Omega didn’t see or hear what was happening. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I just got punched in the ribs and slapped on the cheek, Tech”

“I apologize for causing you pain, it appears the device worked. I can grab scanner and check for you?”

“Ugh, that’s okay” Her lip had a slight cut, and there was a definite redness on her cheek, that seemed to be darkening as the minutes passed. Her stance shifted as her ribs began hurting, she was no longer standing straight, whatever Tech did, I had to say he did a good job. Unfortunately.

“Tech, please do not feel guilty, it needed to be done. Thank you for helping me keep my cover.”

“Of course”

“Tech get some bacta patches” I motioned towards the first aid kit, “you can say you found it on the transport”

“Good thinking” she smirked at me. 

Tech passed her the patches as she slipped on my poncho, putting the patches in her back pocket. 

“Alright, I’m gonna head out, what am I expecting when I head out of here?”

“There will be a corridor in front of you, leading you to the docking garage, head left, you will need to go to the third level, and keep heading towards cargo transports.” 

“Cargo, third floor, got it.”

The cockpit opened, Echo, Wrecker and Omega came out, Omega’s eyes widened at seeing the cut on her lip, “Ava are you okay?”

“Yeah, kid. Don’t worry, it’s all part of the process to sell the story. All good. Listen to your brothers, they know what’s best for you, and they’ll look after you. Alright?”

“Yes”

“Good. Thanks guys for everything, hopefully I’ll see you guys again.” She gave a nod to each of them as she headed to the ramp pressing the button to lower it, she looked back at us, “May the force be with you”

“You too” I responded for all of us, she looked back at me one more time smiling “Remember, one day”

I nodded, “One day” was all the response I gave before she stepped off the ship, and headed to her transport. I don’t know when I’d see her again, but something told me, this wasn’t going to be the only time.  

“Well, that was different” Wrecker stated as we all looked at her retreating form.

“Tech, do you think this will work?” Echo asked as he held Omega close to his side.

“Depends on how good she is at defeating the lie detector, it’s not out of the realm of possibility”

“Alright guys, let’s get to work” I motioned for them to follow me towards Cid’s place. 

Part Three - Part Five

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[staygolddindjarin]

Grief

Chapter One: History

Din Djarin x Reader x a bunch of other star wars characters

Series Summary: Raised on Mandalore, born into a bloodline of warriors, no one ever expected for the daughter of a Clan leader to go rogue. Leaving the life of security and making the journey to fight in the war against the empire meant many things... giving up the way of the Mandalore, and giving up a solid future. A future that involves an arranged marriage to a foundling from another clan.

Chapter Warnings: Oof this ones kinda angsty right off the bat- ⚠️ attempted suicide?? Kinda?? Age gap (reader is underage, but don't worry it's just for the sake of backstory and also there's no spicy, so...) mentions of death and afterlife, fluff if you like squint really hard

A/n: hello there... I'm sorry to inflict tumblr with this atrocity, but wattpad had to deal with it so tumblr can too. I wrote a different version of this on my wp with an OC name, but I know that not everyone cares for that so this won't include that. Also this series will be such a slow burn... prepare yourself ahead of time because it's going to be agonizing

Words: 6.3k+

SERIES MASTERLIST UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Part 1/?

"Pehea gar mar'eyir ni...."

How did you find me....

He came and sat beside me, the sound of metal scraping agaisnt the ground when he knelt first.

"Gar cuyir te shi solus tion'ad comes olar jii.  Ni kar'taylir gar jate'shya gar mirdir Ni vaabir," He responded.

You are the only one who comes here now. I know you better than you think I do.

I heaved a deep breath before letting it out in an exhausted sigh. Speaking in my native tongue was something I always appreciated, but now sitting here it felt nearly uncomfortable, but there was a reason for that.

"I wanted to be alone," The words from my mouth were no longer in my language, and he shifted beside me, trying to convey his confusion without a word.

"Care to elaborate?" He suggested, his asking tone was harsh... but then so was everything else about him.

I didn't really feel like explaning my feelings at the moment. I didn't want to focus on the very thing he was asking about. Even though he wasn't absolutely sure of what he was asking.

"You wouldn't understand if I told you," I trailed off.

"Try me." His voice wasn't any softer, but the sincerity he rarely showed had seeped into his tone.

"I really don't think it's a good idea. You really won't understand, and for all I know you could make things worse off for me than they already are," I didn't like it when he let his guard down around me. I didn't like getting closer to him, even though I was supposed to.

"I can't force you. Whatever it is, I wouldn't get myself too worked up," He sounded hurt, but I couldn't bring myself to believe it was by my words. He was too strong to be wounded by such trivial things.

He moved in his seat, beginning to stand, and for some reason the thought of being alone like I had originally intended seemed like a horrible idea.

I reached out to grip his arm. I kept my gaze forward, knowing that even if I looked at him I could not see his eyes.

"Stay."

He didn't hesitate. He sat down again, and I no longer felt guilt for the hurt in his voice a moment prior.

We sat for a moment in silence, just looking over the cliffside, into the deep canyons that wove in between settlements and encampments of our tribes and clans.

"I don't want this life," I whispered. I had only half hoped he would be paying enough attention to hear me. My voice was soft enough that he might not have.

"What do you mean?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, regretting the choice to even say what I did. I felt a shiver go down my arms, and I felt the wind come into the old open cavern, making the air around me chill. My arms were exposed, for I didn't expect the cold tonight. I didn't expect to be here this long.

"I'll turn sixteen in four days. I will either take the creed, or deny everything I've ever been taught. I'd leave if I do that," I finally gave a glance in his direction. He looked back at me, or at least the beskar did. I could never tell where his eyes were.

"You want to leave?" That pained tone of his voice had returned. The one I felt guilty for without actually believing I had done anything to cause it.

I did. I wanted to get off this planet. Away from the responsibility of becoming what everyone expected of me.

"I have to. It's the only way I will ever be at peace, but I'm not sure if I truly have the strength to stand in front of my family and deny the creed."

I could run away. I had some friends who were planning to jump a transport and join the rebellion against the empire.

They had offered me to be apart of this, but I had refused, believing that I would follow in my ancestors footsteps and take the creed. My father had already provided the beskar for my helmet to be made. It was already in the armourer's possession. All that was left was for me to come of age.

"Where did you go, just now?" He noticed my lack of attentiveness to my current reality, and brought me back to where I was. On the drafty cliffside, with my legs hanging over the end.

"Nowhere. I was just thinking about the future," I had admitted. Though I felt the need to stay emotionally distant from him, and not let myself develop a closeness, I knew I could trust him with my life, which is why I even revealed these things to him in the first place.

"What do you think your future will look like?" The tone that brought me guilt had again left his voice, but was replaced by something else... was it fear? I could not even think of theorizing that he could ever be scared. He was one of the bravest in his clan. Never had he shown an ounce of fear to anyone or anything. How stupid of me to even wonder.

"Merc and his crew are gonna stow away on a crate transport tomorrow. He has contact with the rebellion. He said that I could go with them if I was up for it," I looked down, almost embarrassed at admitting a plan of escape to someone so loyal to this place. Even though he wasn't born on this planet, and even though he wasn't a blood member of any tribe, the foundling was more of a mandalorian than I could ever be.

"You've agreed?"

"No. Not yet," I shook my head. I didn't feel like my reasons were valid. Having him sit beside me, and ask me these things made me realize that I needed to explain myself further.

"Din, I want to be free. I don't want to spend the rest of my life under a code that is so restricting to me, binding my every decision. Everything I'd do would have to be following after the creed."

He didn't respond, and even though his features were shrouded under the reflective surface of his beskar, I could tell he was thinking of something.

"I'm not yet sixteen, but when I am... I don't want to be locked down under a piece of metal. I don't want to have to be bound to this planet or a clan. I want to go some place far away and be something that is different than what everyone expects of me. I want to fight battles against the empire, I want to make my own rules. I want to be free to marry who I love, and not be betrothed to whoever my father chooses for me," I finished off my speech about freedom, but realized the last sentence too late. I should have chosen a better set of words.

Din's head hung down, looking at the wrist guards he wore. He shook his head back and forth and before I could interject, he began speaking.

"So that's why...." he trailed off. I was honestly too scared to say anything now. Why must I speak so bluntly and hurtfully honest to people? Perhaps it is because I had never gotten close to him that now I had no fear in what I said to his face.

"If the reason you plan to leave your family is because of me, then-"

"No," I said harshly, catching him off guard. I was usually snippy with others, but I had never before shown a tendency to be angry or intense with my speech. "Believe me, this has nothing to do with you."

"You have always shown enthusiasm towards coming of age. It's only now, when we are arranged, that you show any difference," He brought on certainty in his voice that I nearly couldn't deny, but the truth was... it really wasn't about him. "I can converse with your father, the rest of the clan... I will find a way to break it off if it will make you stay."

"Din, I don't want you to do that. If you don't believe me when I tell you that you are not the cause of this, then so be it, but I will not have you ruining your good name in my favor, when it won't even stop me," The heat of the moment provided actual, physical warmth for me in the time I was running my mouth off, but now that I had finished, and begun to calm down, I felt the freezing air on my arms again, wrapping them around myself and drawing my legs closer to generate more body heat.

"Are you cold?" He changed the subject, needing something- anything else to say.

"Its not exactly warm up here," My voice was low and sarcastic, but at hearing my words, Din stood up and stepped behind me. Before I even had a chance to ask him what he was doing, I felt his thick woolen cape being draped around my shoulders.

I smiled softly, not even a real, full smile. More of just a small tug from the side of my lips. My real smile was saved for later.

"Thank you."

He nodded as he sat back down, letting his legs fall over the cliffside.

"So you're gonna leave with them, aren't you?" His head turned to face me, but I couldn't dare try and stare at the beskar while thinking of what I would do. This choice was the beginning of the rest of my life.

"I think so," I didn't think. Thinking was what I had been doing too much of. Now I was certain. This was my choice. I was going to start new, and become something different. I may have been born on mandalore, but I was definitely not a mandalorian.

I had a rush of confidence come through me until I remembered what this meant. It all hit me like a dropship coming out of hyperspace. What was I thinking?

"No," I whispered. Din didn't understand my sudden discouragement, but he would soon.

"Merc and his friends already denied the creed. He's a foundling. They all are," I started to tear up as I realized what would happen to my family. The loss of a child in a clan is bad enough, but my family hadn't done anything to dessrve this. They were caring. They had shown me love. They had given me the best life I could ask for on a planet with such a religion.

"Second thoughts?" He asked genuinely, scooting closer beside me as to maybe get more information from my body language, or even my breathing.

"I can't do this. My family would be ruined. If I ran away, they would be punished for it," I felt tears coming up in my eyes. My clan was good to me. The people were kind, and I found solace there. Even if I had always dreamt about something bigger, I couldn't bear to let ruin come upon my family name. It wasn't fair to let that happen, especially when the only thing in the way was my own selfishness. "I can't leave my family."

I let the tears stream down my face, not even bothering to wipe them away. The contrast of the cold wind on my hot, tear streaked face had helped to calm me down a little.

"If you plan on staying, you understand that I am apart of your future here, don't you?"

"Din, I already told you before... you are not the reason I want to leave," I tried my best to keep myself together, but with my wet cheeks and red, puffy eyes, I didn't see how that could be an option.

What if there was another way to freedom?

I sat, trying to think of some stories that the other clan members would talk about.

"Din?"

He hummed in response, keeping his gaze on me.

"Has anyone in your clan ever mentioned afterlife?" I maybe should have taken a different approach to this. He seemed to be rendered speechless by my topic of conversation, but I had to ask.

"You mean after death?" He asked me and I nodded.

"I've heard some stories."

I thought about how it had been described to me. A paradise, with never-ending happiness, and unlimted freedom. Freedom.

"After you die, you appear in the world as another life. You can do whatever you want and no one has consequences for any of it. It's like a world without chaos. Everything is perfect," I remember every word as it comes out of my mouth. The words that were spoken to me, more like taught to me when I was a bit younger by the elders who had retired from their days of battle.

"It sounds too easy." He said, ripping me out of my fantasy.

"That's the point. You don't have to worry about anything or anyone, because you can do as you please, and everything will still be the same. All you have to do is die...."

"Like being reborn into a different world."

"Exactly."

I hesitated to take my safety blaster from it's holster under my hip, and when I did, I looked at it before pointing it out in the distance and testing the trigger. It shot a blast of lazer energy out into the air, landing somewhere beneath us in the canyon.

I decided that this was not an act to pursue at the moment, for Din was sitting right beside me, and the sight of watching a young girl pull the trigger against her own head might be an unpleasant one. Even for him, though he has seen worse.

I put the blaster back in it's holster and stand up from the rocky ground. Din follows suit, looking down at me with quiet concern. I wouldn't have known it until now, but I wondered if he had come to care for me at all during these last few weeks we had been betrothed.

I'd known him the majority of my life anyways, so I knew he must have felt some sort of attachment to me, but in what form, I hadn't ever cared to ask.

He kept breathing heavily as he looked down at me for a few moments, and it almost sounded like he wanted to ask me something. The question was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't bring himself to utter the words.

"Here's your cape back," I slid the material off my shoulders, trying to hand it back to him, but he pushed it back towards me.

"You should keep it for now. The sun is nearly down, it will only grow colder."

He reached his gloved hand up to my face, and I could swear I felt the warmth of his hand beneath the coarse leather.

I only nodded, and leaned forward, trying to lean my head into him, but he carefully stopped me, his hands on my shoulders. Instead he rested his helmet against my forhead, and the cold beskar wasn't such a bad feeling as it rested there.

"I won't let you down. I promise." He said, clueless of my plans for later tonight, after the tribes were asleep, and no one would be at the cliffside.

"I know you won't. You're a good man, Din Djarin." I paused, trying to gather better words. "A true Mandalorian if there ever was one."

The moment didn't last any longer because of how frigid the air was becoming. It was warmer back with the tribes, they always had a fire burning.

Without another word, we both left the old artillery cavern and hiked down the side of the canyon to get back to our own clan territory.

Once I was at the edge of mine, I turned around to utter a simple goodbye, and found that he was very close behind me. His hand came up and rested on my shoulder, lightly squeezing it.

Maybe this was the last time we would see each other. Tonight I would envoke my plan to freedom, to rebirth. Perhaps we would meet in another life. Perhaps I would have just enough memory of this life to try and find him in the next one. One where I will have freedom.

Tonight I had gotten closer to the metal clad Mandalorian than I ever had before. I didn't regret it. He listened to what I had to say, and there were few who ever did.

His hand fell from it's place on my shoulder, but I didn't let him walk away yet. I pulled him into an embrace, feeling him tense up for a moment before reciprocating. It took him a few seconds to let out the breath he was holding in, but when he did, he found himself relaxing into the comfort.

"Goodbye, Din," My voice wasn't sad, or overly sensitive in any way. I figured it actually sounded quite optimistic.

"You know I'll see you tomorrow." He said, reminding me of the clan meetings. Once a month the clans would gather and each tribe would go over the agenda for whatever was to happen soon. Battles were normally discussed, but tomorrow, me and a few of the others in the other clans would be talked about. Our ceremonial coming of age where we would take the creed.

"Yeah... right. Don't come looking for me, I don't plan on showing up," I said quietly, careful in anyone was to hear me.

He pulled me back at arms length and looked at me, but his black blast shield hid his features and I could not tell if he thought I was crazy or not.

"How come?" His voice was also quiet, as we noticed some of my clan passing by to get to the fire.

"Don't worry about it. You'll still see me tomorrow," I lied. Or did I? Everyone within the five neighboring tribes would probably see me tomorrow.

He nodded, pulling us all the way apart and stepping back.

"Good."

He didn't look like he was gonna walk away until I had gone into the hub of my clan's small village. I turned around and walked towards the large fire, seeing my mother. Her helmet was unmistakable. The pattern of the strill engraved into the side of the beskar. It was her signet. A worthy kill of her days in battle. I would never have one. I walked towards her when she noticed me.

Her modulated voice let out a small chuckle, before I stepped beside her.

"It is well to see you spending time with Din Djarin. Me and your father were afraid you may not have been fond of him," She kept her gaze on the fire, speaking only loud enough for me to hear her, given that the other mandalorians of our village were also gathering around the fire, conversing with each other the same way we were.

"I am fond of him, why would I not be?" I was unsure of what she meant. Sure, I had been keeping a distance between us since my father had arranged our marriage, but I never had shown that I wasn't fond of him. I was polite, and gave him attention when it was asked of me.

"Whenever I or your father bring up the discussion of your eighteenth birthday, you always seem to act like it's the plague," She was smirking under her helmet, and I could tell. I could always tell what face she made underneath her metal covering.

"Maybe it's the fact that I dread getting married at all. I'm not opposed to Din, though," I convinced her. I wouldn't have to try and do that again after tonight.

"Whatever it is, your father will be pleased to know you and him were in each other's company. Although I will stray from telling him you two were alone... you were alone, weren't you?" She turned her metal covered head, trying to figure out from the look on my face.

"Yes," I answered truthfully, knowing there was no point in lying. No damage could be done at this point, except for maybe towards Din.

"And what were you both doing?" She tilted her head, and I let mine drop. I would tell her the truth, because nothing bad could come from it. Or could it.

"We were just talking... about the future," I answered.

"Your marriage..." She suggested, and I nodded, knowing that it did come up in the conversation.

"Yes."

"I shudder to ask if consummating was apart of this conversation," She looked back at the fire, knowing how red my cheeks would turn and how embarrassed I would be.

"No, nothing like that. I can promise you," I shivered at the thought. Din was a good man, but I didn't necessarily need to be letting thoughts like that intrude my mind.

Everyone else around the fire seemed to be distracted by the glowing flames, and my mother was soon the same, so I suggested my absense.

"I'm going to go in for the night, get some rest. Big meeting tomorrow..." I said before reaching out and squeezing her hand tightly.

She nodded to me, and I took my leave, walking towards our living quarters on the opposite side of camp.

I wasn't looking where I was going, and brushed my shoulder against Merc, who was with Gander and Shyloh.

"Sorry, didn't see you coming," I told him, but he shook his head, optiing ti ask me a question instead.

"Don't worry about it, I was looking for you anyway... Did you think about the offer? We leave at sunrise on the north delivery tarmac," He informed me, but I didn't have an answer. I wasn't staying here, but I wasn't leaving either.

"You'll know if I show up," I gave him a smirk, partially just because I was glad to see someone's actual face tonight, and not just a metal facade.

"We can't wait up for you, just know that."

I nodded, letting them get by. Maybe I could go with them. Live this life freely without starting another one.

No.

My family will not be able to handle that. It's better off if I'm dead. At least they won't go on to believe that I betrayed them, turning my back on all loyalty they had ever taught me. They would nevwr wonder if I ever loved them or planned on keeping their wishes.

I could start fresh. They wouldn't have to worry about me anymore. And I wouldn't have to worry anymore either. Rebirth.

I went straight to bed, clutching the woolen blanket beside me close to my chest.

For some reason I felt a pang of guilt in my chest. Something that made the sting of salty tears swell in my eyes. I knew that what I was doing was best, but yet I started having a hard time justifying something so drastic. They would get on fine without me, wouldn't they? They would go on living by the creed. This is the way. They will find a way to go on without me, like they did before I was born. Din will be arranged with another girl as soon as I'm gone. Everything will be alright.

The wetness that spilled over my eyes and down my face lasted hours, even though my mind kept telling itself that it was at peace.

It was in the dead of night, when I gathered a few of my belongings into a knapsack, throwing it over my shoulder before leaving out the tattered window of my private space.

I ventured to the canyon, with the moons lighting my way. The planet was never truly dark, due to the brightness and the number of shinning moons, all the color silver.

I set my knapsack down on the edge beside me. By the end of this, I would be at the bottom, waiting to be found the next day. I just hoped it wouldn't be anyone I knew. Of course, the number of people who ever came out here was only two. Me, and Din Djarin.

I hoped he wouldn't find me. I hoped it would be someone from another tribe that was flying over, and happened to spot something at the base of the cliffside.

I pulled my flask to my mouth, taking a large drink. A bit spilled onto my chin, and I wiped it off, feeling the breeze on my face. It was much colder now than earlier tonight. I wasn't sure if I should pull the blanket from my belongings and wrap it around myself, or skip the process of making myself comfortable and just get this over with.

I leaned over, looking straight at the ground, hundreds of feet below me. My heart started racing, and I got scared. Why shouldn't I be? I have every right to be absolutely terrified. I closed my eyes, trying to scoot myself over the edge inch by inch, seeing if I would just drop.

I nearly panicked when my bottom hit a crack in the ground and I thought I was going over. My breath hitched in my throat and I instantly pulled myself back.

"This isn't as easy as I thought it would be," I murmered, beginning to feel the emotional side of everything rise to the surface again. It didn't help that with the absolute silence that circled around me, I couldn't have any single thing to distract me.

I stood to my feet, wrapping my arms around myself to ease the goosebumps rising on my skin from the frigid air.

I stood right on the edge, lifting a foot over and leaning forward, but before I could fall, I again caught myself, the adrenaline working overtime in my system and beginning to heat me up.

That wasn't going to work either. If I could, I would put a blaster to my temple and pull the trigger, but then it wouldn't look like an accident.

I paced around back and forth a few times, trying to calm myself down, to stop the whimpering and to make my tears cease. It wasn't working. I just needed to get this over and done with. A new life, with endless possibilities was waiting for me on the other side. Freedom was on the other side.

I wiped my face, even though it didn't stop me from crying, but it helped me to see clearer. I backed up, into the cavern, all the way inside until my back hit the wall of the ex artillery carvern. This was it. A new beginning. Rebirth. New life. Freedom.

I ran as fast as I could toward the edge, my eyes closed. I could feel the wind blowing against me even harder with my speed, and I could tell the edge was drawing near. Every step I took, I felt as though it was my last one.

I finally felt my foot hit the edge, but then I never fell. Instead, I was tackled to the ground. Whoever landed on top of me was heavy enough to hold me down, because half of me was hanging off the edge of the cliff.

I didn't dare even open my eyes. This was a sign. Someone stopped me.

I clinged onto whoever it was, and knew almost instantly who was laid over me when I heard him groan.

I cried even harder, my head buried in his armor clad chest, and my arms around his neck and his torso.

He was holding me tightly, one hand cradled my head into his neck, and the other firmly gripped my waist. He rolled us both over and I swear I felt him shaking.

"What were you thinking?" He stressed, his grip on me tightening as if he was scared to let go. I was scared too. I didn't want him to let go.

"You have to talk to me..."

I heaved a deep breath, deep enough to steady my voice so my whimpering didn't interfere with my words.

"I want out. I need to get out," I cracked in the middle of saying so few words, but they conveyed the message I was trying to get through.

"I can get you out, I promise.... But please don't ever try that again," His voice was full of worry, and as I suspected, he was trembling in fear.

"I'm sorry..." I cried some more, realizing that what I had done was now the biggest mistake I ever made, even if I was saved.

"It's okay. You're okay. I've got you," He spoke to me, my voice quieting down as my sobbing came to a slow halt.

I lifted my face from where I had burrowed it into his neck, looking up at him. I didn't know what his expression was, but something told me it was fearful, and worrysome.

"I have to get out of here," I repeated again. The last day or so it became my mantra, and would leave my lips often, even just to myself. Mostly just to myself.

"You're going to. You're going with Merc... when are they leaving?" He asked, his arms still around me like mine were for him.

"At sunrise. They're gonna jump a delivery ship on the north tarmac," I explained, my voice was now hoarse and thick, due to not only all the crying I had done, but also the cold night air that had entered my lungs.

"Sunrise isn't for a few hours..." he let me know, and I nodded, knowing we shouldn't probably leave yet, for the walk to the north tarmac wasn't very long from here.

"Din, if I leave, my family is going to get the fire for my decision. I can't let that happen," I told him, my voice had become more firm, and I needed to convey the importance of how much this meant to me.

"I give you my word, that as long as I live, nothing will happen to your family," He swore, and I could just feel his eyes staring into mine. So much so that for the first time since he put that helmet on, I knew where his eyes were.

"I trust you. And I know that you'll always keep your word," I nodded, a small smile finally forming on my face.

Since it got fairly quiet, and we were still entangled together,  I scooted off of Din and opted instead to take the seat beside him.

"I should tell you some things before I go. I just don't want to leave anything unresolved," I admitted, and he stayed silent, waiting for me to continue.

"I know this might sound horrible, but I hated the idea of getting too close to you. It was like if I had formed an emotional bond with you, I wouldn't be able to leave anymore. And the last thing on my mind had been to stay. I've wanted freedom for a while now, I was just always too scared to say anything. And when my father told me that you and him had come to an agreement for arranging a marriage.... it's like it all became more real to me. My freedom would be taken in just days. The creed of mandalore is sacred, and it's truly an amazing thing... but it isn't for everyone."

He sat and took everything in. All the words that just spewed from my mouth like I had been holding them in for ages went against everything I had ever learned. Everything that had ever been put into my mind was the opposite of what I wanted.

"You're young. You want more than what the creed can offer you. I think you'll be able to find what you want wherever you're going," He said, I knew there was more, for he didn't even mention anything that I had said about not wanting to be close to him, but when he stayed silent, I knew he was finished, and that I still had more to say.

"Din, I wanted to tell you that if I had to be married, I wouldn't have minded it being you," I admitted. I would leave no stone unturned before I was to just pick up and leave forever... maybe not forever, maybe someday I would return to my family, to Din.

"I can't say I don't feel the same," He seemed to become stiff next to me, but I soon found the reason when he suddenly reached for my hand with his gloved one.

I took it proudly, intertwining our finhers together.

"You know, I was only an eight year old kid when you took the creed. I have so many memories of you yourself, but whenever I recall them... I can't see your face. I've completely forgotten what you look like," I laughed a bit, though it was quite a sad thing actually. I could not remember him in a way that wasn't covered in metal. I remembered that he was a boy once, and that he would play with all the younger children in the clan set next to his. He played with me and the kids I lived next to. He was a lively, energetic boy. Always doing something... sometimes causing mischievous acts. He was so different now. But the change wasn't bad. Since he'd taken the creed he has been the most noble, fearsome, and trustworthy member of his clan. Completely honorable in every sense of the word.

"I don't look like I used to. It wouldn't do you any good to remember anyways," He chuckled under his helmet, and it brought a smile to hear the melodic sound.

"Well, if I'd stayed long enough to marry you I would find out for myself," I leaned my head on his shoulder, feeling comfort by his presence. If I had made the absolute decision to leave this planet earlier, I could have let myself grow a relationship with him. Romantic or not, he was easy to talk to, and I trusted him. He was a friend to me, and I never imagined more, but now his presence was just something that put me at such ease.

"Do you think you'll ever come back?" He pondered, seeing as just the tiniest moonrays shown down into the canyon ahead.

"Someday. I'll comeback and repay you."

"For what?"

"Saving my life," I replied. My attempt to throw my own life away had been pushed away but I had to bring it up. I owed him my life.

"Anyone would have done the same if they had seen," He insisted, and I shook my head.

"How did you even know I was out here?" My curiosity got the better of me, and I asked for an explanation.

"I couldn't sleep, I took a walk through Ronion until I found myself here. I saw you across from the mesa on the south side... I saw you lift your foot over the edge, I knew what you were trying to do," He said, his grip on my hand got tighter almost instantly.

"Thank you. If you hadn't been there, I would be at the bottm of this canyon." I let so much seriousness onto my voice, and it didn't sound like me.

"Don't thank me yet... not until I get you on the tarmac,"

We sat in silence after that, just looking out over the horizon. When the slightest bit of light hit the edge of the planet, we stood to our feet, gathering my knapsack and begining the journey to the north delivery tarmac.

We were there in no time, and before I could even look for them, Merc and his crew were in sight. They were all sitting with their backs against some cargo imports, waiting for the transport to arrive.

"Well, well, well... look at what the shriek hawk dragged in," Shyloh said, gesturing to me and Din.

"Djarin, I didn't expect to see you here," Merc raised an eyebrow at the sight.

"I'm just here to make sure she gets onto the transport safely," He assured them. I looked out of the corner of my eye, and in the brighter horizon I was able to see a cargo ship coming into the landing area.

"Our rides here," I said, and they all jumped up. Since the ships were automatically run, and don't even require droids, it was often very easy to hop aboard and be carried to another destination. Of course, there were only a few who ever wanted to leave.

I myself hadn't ever left Mandalore, neither had I traveled much even on the planet. Only a few trips to visit the the markets with my father. I never even went into the city, for it was told that in the city lived Mandalorians who did not keep the creed. The tribes were convinced that they hadn't actually ever taken the oath, and just wore the armor for the sake of doing it.

The ship's doors opened, pulling me out of my thoughts, and a conveyer belt folded down to let the cargo units be carried out onto the tarmac for later pickup.

"Alright, it's time to head out," Gander said, slinging his knapsack over his shoulder and boarding the transport.

The rest followed after him, but I still had one thing left to do. 

Din looked at me, waiting for me to join the others, but I came close to him one last time.

"You promise my family will be taken care of?" I asked, to which he simply answered with a firm nod. However the look on my face gave him reason to believe that his answer wasn't good enough, so he spoke instead.

"I give you my word. If they are not taken care of, I will let you strike me dead where I stand."

That was good enough for me. He truly meant it. He was a man of his word.

I pulled his head toward mine, resting ny forehead against his in a traditional mandalorian kiss. I pulled back when I heard my name being called from the transport.

"Goodbye, Din Djarin," I told him.

He didn't respond, he just let me go, watching intently as I boarded the ship before the doors closed.

The cargo transports were always on schedule, so as soon as the doors closed, it began lifting into the air. I looked out through the transparent view finder on the side, watching him stand as we began moving out of sight.

"You gonna miss him?" Shyloh asked, his brows furrowing as if he were sorry for me.

"Yes, I suppose I will."

I lost sight of Din, and realized we were leaving the atmosphere most likely preparing for a jump to hyperspace.

"But I'll see him again."

.

.

Tags are open ig...

A/n: please don't get too caught up in the age gap y'all it's just for backstory purposes because this story is eventually going to follow canon events.... (also i know that this doesn't really portray Mandalore correctly, but let's pretend it does because i had this idea)

[toomanyrobins2]

sweeter than honey pt. 8

Summary: Y/N “Honey” Cirillo has been many things in her short life: an unwanted child, a dancing prodigy, a teen mom, and now she’s a replacement bride. After her sister runs away, Y/N is forced to take her place and marry into the Barton family. The Three Families are already dealing with enough. With the murder of a high-ranking member and HYDRA continuing to make threats, they need this marriage to go ahead without a hitch. Can Clint and Y/n find happiness or is there too much against them?

Pairing: Clint Barton x Reader

Content warning: Arranged marriage, sex, violence, murder

Notes: I’m sorry I’ve disappeared for so long but with work and school, I am very overwhelmed. I’m working hard to keep this updated more frequently!

series masterlist // next part

In the month since their sham of a wedding, Y/N and Clint lived a fairly harmonious life during the day. Nola was the only reason they crossed paths. Beyond that, they continued to live as they had before the wedding. Y/N moved through the day like a robot, she would bring Nola to school and go to work before falling into bed. The endless cycle was boring her to death, but she was nervous to upset the delicate balance. Today, however, was not like the others. What Y/N did not know was that today would have been Barney’s birthday. Clint had woken up in a foul mood, slamming around the kitchen in the morning before completely disappearing for the day.

Y/N and Nola could tell that something was wrong, but neither got the chance to ask what it was that was bothering him. They continued their day like usual with the latter going to kindergarten, while Y/N went to the hospital. Jackie and Andi were having one of their special sleepovers with Nola that night and that meant that by the time she got off work, she had nothing to do but go home. When she walked through the front door, she was surprised to find the house completely dark and no sign of Clint anywhere. Checking all of the rooms, she found his office a mess. Papers covered every possible surface and alarms were going off in her head. Y/N may have left this life behind, but that didn't mean she was unaware of what was taking place. HYDRA had murdered her brother-in-law as an act of revenge for what had taken place after Birdie's return. The murder of Brock Rumlow was never going to go unanswered and HYDRA ensured that the pain the Three Families felt was worse than theirs. Knowing what horror their enemy was willing to inflict, she hurried to send a text to Nat. The fear she felt was like a boulder on her chest. The redhead called her within seconds, “Honey, what’s going on? Is something wrong with Clint?”

“I wouldn’t know! He was in a weird mood this morning and I haven’t seen him since. His office is a mess and the house is all dark. My gut is telling me something is very wrong.”

She heard Nat sigh and start talking to someone in Russian before speaking to her again, “Okay, Y/N, stay where you are. We are going to go look for him and I’ll let you know what’s going on when I find something out. Is Nola there?”

“No, she's with her aunts. He'll be okay, right?.”

"He better be, because I'm going to kill him I see him." The call ended and Y/N put on a movie, trying to pretend like everything was fine while she anxiously waited for news. She didn’t hear anything for hours, having finished the movie, called and said goodnight to Nola, and cleaned the entire kitchen. She thought about cleaning up Clint's office when a knock at the front doot had her jumping out of her skin. Rushing to swing it open, Steve stood there with an arm slung around a bleeding Clint. Y/N didn't say anything, she just stepped aside so that the blond could help her husband into the house. As they turned the corner into the well-lit kitchen, Y/N gasped at the state of her husband and quickly helped him onto one of the chairs, “What the hell happened?”

“I found him outside the back door to the bar,” Steve explained, “I’m not sure how he got this way.”

Y/N cupped Clint’s face as gently as possible, tilting his head to the light. A dopey grin spread across his face, “Hi, Honey.”

“Hi, you idiot. I thought you were going to try and be safe,” when his head lulled to one side, she trapped him in place, “Can you tell me where you got hit? Or how you got hit.”

“Went into HYDRA territory. Needed to hurt someone the way they hurt Barney.”

Y/N took a deep breath and her emotionless mask fell into place leaving her a blank slate as she turned to Steve, “Thank you for finding him and bringing him back safely. I’ll walk you out.”

Before she could close the door before him, Steve turned around, “Don’t go too hard on him. Clint’s never been good at dealing with his emotions and Barney’s death is killing him.”

“What happens if he’s actually killed?” Y/N tried to hide her anger, “What happens to his family? To all of you?”

Steve softened when he heard her voice shake, “I know how scary it is to have kids in this world. Honey, we’d take care of you and Nola.”

“It’s not us I’m worried about. We do fine on our own just as we did before. I’m married to someone who seems to have no regard for his own well-being! Who has no idea how important he is to others! What the hell am I supposed to do with someone who willingly goes to the people who murdered his brother, looking for a fight?”

“You give him time. That's all you can do.”

Y/N nodded sadly, “Goodnight, Steve. Thank you for finding him.” She locked the door and leaned against it for a moment before heading back to the kitchen.

Clint was rummaging through the freezer. He spun around, unsteady on his feet, “Where the hell are the frozen peas?”

“Move,” she ordered. They were buried in the back and wrapped the bag in a towel before slapping it against his cheekbone.

“Son of a bitch! Could you be a little gentler?”

“No,” Y/N seethed, “So, this is the plan? To fight your way out of grief? Your brother died. He was left in the road and it’s okay to be heartbroken. It’s okay to be angry. But this,” she gestured at his bloody clothes and bruised face, “This does nothing good. This is just a way to ignore what you’re really feeling. You can cry and you can scream, but going into enemy territory and risking your life definitely does not help. And it sure as hell doesn’t make healing any easier.” She didn’t speak another word to him the rest of the night as she grabbed the first aid kit and wiped away the blood and made sure he wasn’t seriously injured. As soon as she was sure he wasn’t going to die on her, she went into her room and closed the door.

Clint woke up before Y/N, as he usually did. He crept over to her bedroom and put his hand on her pillow to check if she had cried. Sure enough, it was damp. He had done this every morning since he’d noticed it was happening. It broke his heart to think she was quietly crying every night and never sought any comfort. He had tried to stay awake and catch her, but she was far too careful and with the odd hours that came with her shifts, he hadn’t had any luck. Walking into the bathroom, he scrubbed a hand down his face. He quickly got dressed for a run and was out the door. The whole time, his mind was on his wife and the 18,000 walls she had up. When Clint circled back up to his place, he found Steve and Bucky in the kitchen, “You know you have a kitchen at your place, right?”

“Well, good morning to you too.” Steve handed him a mug filled with coffee.

Clint took a large sip from the mug before apologizing, “Sorry, I’m in a bad mood.”

“It’s 8:30 in the morning,” Bucky started pulling the makings for breakfast out of the fridge, “What could have happened? Does it have to do with your face exploding?”

“Y/N,” he growled.

“Oh, is she mad at you?”

“I wish it was that simple. I can’t figure out a damn thing about her. The most information I could find was her crazy teen years which suddenly stopped when she was 17 which I’m assuming is because of Nola – who by the way, is scamming me with those damned eyes of hers. Do you know how much money I’ve spent on books in the past month? I thought I was marrying this wild woman and instead she’s timid and quiet. She avoids me at all costs and I have no idea where she goes when she’s not at the hospital. I see her with Nola and it’s like she’s a different woman. I gave her a card connected to my account in hopes that the charges would give me an idea of what she liked, but she doesn’t use it!” Clint dropped his forehead to the counter in frustration.

Bucky pursed his lips, trying not to bust out in laughter at his friend, “Have you tried talking to her instead of stalking her credit card charges like a weirdo?”

“She’s never around! Oh, and she cries most nights. I checked her pillow and she’s been crying. I just don’t know what to do.”

Steve looked upset at that information, “She cries every night?”

“I guess. She’s so quiet I didn’t notice at first, but I heard her one night. She’s miserable and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“What about her friends? Maybe talk to them and see what they have to say. They could give you some insight into her.”

“She hasn’t had a single person here.”

“You guys have been married for a month and she hasn’t brought a single person to the house?”

Y/N was finally at the hospital for her shift. Nola had way too much sugar the night before which meant that it took forever to get her to bed and when she woke up in the morning, she was in a terrible mood. The five-year-old had been a terror and getting her dressed and to school had taken both Y/N, Jackie, and Andi, who was not above bribery.

The latter two women had gone to open up their studio. Andi went to pick up breakfast, leaving Jackie to run the front desk. Clint walked into the studio and was greeted by the blonde behind the desk, “Hello, what can I do for you?”

“Are you Jackie?”

A guarded look quickly covered the woman’s face, “Yes, I am”

“Clint—Y/N’s husband,” he saw that the woman was tense and hurriedly spoke again, “I’m not here to start any problems. I’m actually here to ask for your help.”

“I know who you are, Mr. Barton, I was at your wedding. What could you possibly want from me?”

“To be honest, Y/N hates me and our marriage and I want to fix it. Nola mentioned this place and I came to see if you would be willing to help me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“The fact is she’s miserable. I made some mistakes. I know this was a business deal but I want us to at least get along and she won’t talk to me.”

“Why don’t you and I grab a coffee and we can talk,” Jackie made a quick call to her wife to tell her to get back as soon as possible. The trio went into the office to speak. Andi put the food and drinks on the best, running her eyes over the fair-haired man, getting her first good look at who her best friend had married. Jackie nudged her to stop staring before speaking, “Why don’t you start from the beginning.”

“I won’t lie, I looked into Y/N when the contract was first drawn up. I thought I was marrying a tornado who was going to tear up everything and I was prepared for that. Instead, she’s quiet and withdrawn. She barely speaks to me and she cries every night. I don’t know what to do and I noticed she didn’t have anyone around to the house and thought that maybe if you guys started to come around she would feel more comfortable. Like it’s her place too.”

Andi raised an eyebrow before laughing, “I have to admit, you’re not what I expected at all. I don't know how much you know, but I have no problem being blunt. Your in-laws are dicks. I don’t know how they convinced Y/N to marry you, but I’m assuming it took some bribery. They treat Y/N like shit and they’ve done a lot of damage to her. She’s strong and stubborn, and deserves the world.”

“I want to get to know the real Y/N. I thought a good start would be you coming over for dinner. My buddies live nearby and I thought if they came and you came it would make it less awkward.”

[thefanficmonster]

Partner

Ethan Winters (Resident Evil Biohazard) x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Spoilers for Resident Evil 8:Village, Swearing, Mentions of injury

Genre: Angsty Fluff, Comfort

Summary: Following the final battle in the Dimitrescu Castle, Ethan is surprised to stumble upon a person who witnessed the whole debacle, offering him a safe place to patch up his wounds and rest for a little while.

Requested by Anon. Hi dear! Thank you so much for your request! So sorry you’ve had to wait so long but here it finally is! Hope you come across it and enjoy reading it! Love, Vy ❤

“That was...something else.“ Ethan Winters mutters to himself as he limps his way out of the Dimitrescu Castle which is now vacant in terms of residence - his doing. He killed Alcina Dimitrescu and her daughters, all arguably in self defense and with little guilt to follow. However, plenty of trauma’s definitely attached to him following the horrific events he had to go through and the things he had to see between the walls of those luxurious rooms hiding dark secrets of the vampires who took pleasure in torturing people, and wreaking havoc over the villagers who feared them.

“At least they won’t hurt anyone any longer.“ He tells himself, giving the monster of a structure one final look before he continues back towards the center of the village where he’s gonna rethink what he’s got to do next, gather his bearings, take a breath and keep going. He has no other option but to keep going, he won’t allow himself to quit no matter what danger he faces. In his mind, he’s convinced himself that he’s already seen the worst, it’s easier on him that way, it suppresses the fear he’d feel otherwise. The last thing he wants is to think what’s in store for him ahead, he’d rather focus on what’s up to him to do next.

“And we can’t thank you enough.“

The sudden presence of an unfamiliar voice startles him, causing him to whip out his gun and point it in the direction it came from. However, he quickly finds his deadly tight grip loosening ever so slightly because he realizes he’s pointing the barrel at a very human-looking and seemingly harmless person.

“Who are you? Who’s ‘we’?“ Ethan still refuses to let his guard down though, just cause it may not be a life or death situation, doesn’t mean this person won’t bring him trouble and Lord knows that’s the last thing he needs right now.

On instinct, the person takes a step back, “I speak on the behalf of all the remaining villagers. I mean, it was only a matter of time before we too became victims in the Dimitrescu Castle basement. I was next, actually, but the commotion you created allowed for me to escape. I owe you my life, foreigner.“ The speak hurriedly and in a hushed tone, as if the fear of their torturers overhearing them still lives within them despite the monsters being deceased.

“Glad I could help you.“ He nods curtly, remaining at the distance of seven feet between them, “My name’s Ethan Winters by the way.“

They give him the tiniest of smiles, “Y/N L/N, pleased to meet you.” Their gaze gives him a quick onceover, assessing the damage the horrors of the castle have inflicted on him. Their eyes widen in shock at the many bleeding wounds all over his body but what appears to rattle them most is the severe injury that’s causing his limp as well as the missing finger - a poorly wrapped would that has surprisingly not started getting infected yet. “Look, I know you don’t trust me, but I don’t trust you to take care of yourself either. I live in that windmill over there in the outskirts, come with me, I’ll help you with...well, with all that. You seem rather hopeless at medical care.”

While he could refuse their offer, he wouldn’t be able to deny the fact that they’re right - he knows the basics of first aid, but his injuries are far too gone for simple first aid, especially when taken into account that he doesn’t even have any supplies. How he’s not died from blood loss is a surprise to him as much as it is to them.

“What’s my guarantee you won’t turn on me?“ He finally asks after a decent amount of time contemplating it.

They shrug, “You have none. But, you have the guarantee that if I turn on you, you’ll be the one coming out of that altercation alive.” Their gaze sizes up the guns he’s got on him, emphasizing their point.

Suddenly, Ethan feels sorta ridiculous - after all, guns or no guns, he could probably take on them easily with just his knife. Regardless, no one can blame him for being cautious. “Fine.“ He mutters, “But please don’t turn on me, I’ve already had one hell of a day.“

Y/N nods, motioning for him to follow them, “I promise I won’t.”

                                                               *  *  *

“Wow, what a back-stabber! Some friends you have, Winters.“ Y/N comments as they set down a cup of tea on the small wooden table in front of the freshly patched up Ethan.

Turns out, he made the right move by trusting them - they used to be the village’s main nurse until it all went to hell and they went to hide in the shadows of their windmill where they, as evidenced, still are today. That being said, not only did they have all the necessary equipment to fix him up, but they also had the skills and knowledge needed to use that equipment.

“There are those friends who borrow money from you and never pay you back and there are those who shoot your wife randomly while you two are trying to have dinner. Two types of friends out there really.“ He sighs, his tired, a thousand yard stare following the path of the steam levitating from the cup that’s been placed in front of him. “I have no time to dwell on that right now though. My daughter is in grave danger and I have no idea where I should even start looking for her.“

Y/N sits down on a chair opposite his, “Well, you’ve already defeated one of the village Lords looking for Rose, process of elimination should reveal where she is - wherever she is, it has to be one of the Lords’ residence. Mother Miranda trusted Lady Dimitrescu most so it’s a wonder why she wasn’t there, but then again, Heisenberg’s factory is damn near impenetrable, one cannot enter unless he wants them to so she could have entrusted her precious cargo to him.”

“How do I get to that fucker?“ Ethan tightens his hand into a fist, squeezing so tightly his knuckles turn white. There’s so much within him, so much that’s happened to him, so much in such a short amount of time and he’s had no time to deal with any of it. He’s a volcano waiting to erupt, but he has to do so at the right time - in front of the right danger to show he’s not hopeless or weak as his opponent may think. “Where do I find him?“

“He’s in the outskirts too just on the other side of the village.“ They sigh, regretting every word they are saying since they know they are just feeding him information on how to get himself in the worst kind of danger he’s probably ever been in. “That key you have, it’s not complete to access his quarters yet. By the looks of it...“ they observe the key Ethan has placed on the table, “You can only get to Lord Donna Beneviento’s estate, and I wouldn’t suggest heading there before you heal at least a bit more. Her and her dolls are a real nightmare. Of course, I haven’t experienced it for myself, but the stories are enough to get an idea.“

“So you’re telling me I have to waste my time with the little fish before I can finally get to Rose? You know how long that’ll take? You know how long she’ll have to be at the mercy of a fucking lunatic until I can finally save her?!“ Ethan snaps, banging his fist against the table, bad idea considering his hand’s been just patched up. The impact sends a jolt of pain up his arm that makes him hiss.

“I get it, I understand, Ethan. But you are a lot less likely to get to your daughter if you’re dead, you know.“ Y/N cautiously explains, their eyes narrowing a bit as they wait for the pearl white bandages to soak crimson, sighing in relief when they don’t. “Speaking of how likely you may or may not be to get to her on time, I’d also have to mention your odds would be significantly higher if you were to receive help from someone else. You’d need someone to have your back throughout all the shit you’re about to go through, especially Heisenberg’s factory where two eyes are not enough to track each and every threat that might pounce at you.“

Calmer now, Ethan gives them a puzzled look, “What are you suggesting?“

“I’m suggesting - well, I’m offering you my partnership.“ They explain, watching his expression change to one of knowing and understanding. “Of course, you’d have to give up one of those guns and hand it down to me, but I think that’s a small price to pay in exchange for an extra pair of eyes and limbs to guard and help you.“

Ethan’s first instinct is to decline. He can’t afford to see another person dying around him or because of him, he wouldn’t be able to stand it. But then again, just like he had no guarantee they wouldn’t turn on him, he has none that they’ll die. Of course, he’ll do everything in his power to keep them and himself alive and they don’t seem like they are in it to half-ass it either. Quite the contrary, they seem perfectly determined and ready to face the same shit he’s about to.

“What do you get in return?“ He asks, his gaze suspiciously measuring each line on their face to gauge their true intentions. He’s a complete stranger to them, they’d have no reason to be this selfless for him, it’s obvious they are aiming at something bigger.

Y/N scoffs, leaning back in their chair with a small bitter smile on their face, their gaze resting on the tabletop and avoiding his, “You really wanna know? I want my revenge - revenge for what they did to this village, to me, to so many people I cared about and to those I didn’t even know. But...” they trail off, pausing to sigh out a heavy sigh before continuing, “But I also wanna redeem myself. I knew I should’ve done all in my power to stop them when their havoc was still on the rise, I knew I should’ve done more, but I didn’t. And now I’ll die trying.”

“You won’t die.“ He says sharply, barely a second after the last word left their lips, “I won’t allow it.“ He adds, taking a bit of the edge off his voice.

Their eyes come up to meet his, searching for what he means, “Does that mean...“

“It sure does, partner.“ Within the blink of an eye, his pistol is on the table, fully loaded and free for their taking, “You just give a green light and we’re off.“

Y/N lets out a sound between a laugh and a gasp as their hands quickly wrap around the gun, looking at it in disbelief before whispering a quick ‘thank you’. Ethan allows them to marvel at it for a bit longer but they don’t wait another second. “Get your ass up, Winters. We have monsters to kill.”

He needn’t be told twice

[bbangsoonie]

11:11

member: changmin (q) genre: angst word count: 6,802 synopsis: when changmin finds himself trapped in the past, repeating the day of your death, he’s convinced that he’s been given a chance to save you. warning(s): death

Changmin woke up with a dreading feeling. He hadn’t set an alarm despite it being a weekday. He was hoping to sleep through the day and wake up the next morning. Unfortunately for him, the sleeping pills he took the night before only allowed him rest until noon.

He checked his phone, staring at the date. A year had officially passed by since that fateful day. Groaning, he threw his phone back onto his bed. He stayed under the blanket for a while, not wanting to get up. However, the sunlight shining through his window refused to let him go back to sleep.

Declaring defeat, he sat up and scowled at the sun. It was annoyingly bright today. The weather had no regard for his mood and was unusually warm for a winter day. It pissed him off.

He heard his phone vibrate and chose to ignore what he guessed was Chanhee’s daily check in. Still not fully awake, Changmin walked towards his fridge to grab a cold water bottle. After gulping half of it down, he let out a sigh.

His brain was still at war with himself. Half of it felt obligated to visit you and half of it wanted to drown his feelings in alcohol. He stood there, zoning out, contemplating his options.

Eventually, his guilt triumphed and he found himself throwing on whatever clean clothes he could find. He trudged out of his apartment and down the stairs. On his way to the main road to find a taxi, he passed by a flower shop. The same sense of obligation from earlier made him backtrack and step inside.

It had been over a year since he last visited the place. It felt strange to be back. The emotions he came here with were entirely different from the emotions he had back then.

He asked the worker for a small bouquet of daisies and muttered a word of thanks after receiving his change. After flagging down a taxi, he braced himself for the long ride.

The car escaped from the noisy city and headed towards a more remote area. He almost laughed, remembering how often you would mention that you wanted to be buried in nature and not locked up in a jar behind glass. He used to always chide you for thinking of and planning for your death but in the end, you had been the insightful one. He never thought he’d be traveling to your grave—at least not while he was still in his twenties.

When he finally arrived, his feet rooted itself and he couldn’t bear to walk further. He hadn’t been here since your burial a year ago. A wave of embarrassment suddenly hit him. He truly was an asshole to you until the end. He couldn’t even make things up to you even after your passing.

He hadn’t made any efforts to visit you but it was painfully obvious to those around him that he was still grieving. He blamed himself for letting you die. That burden prevented him from continuing to live life without you. His friends watched as he willingly ruined his own life. He gave up dance and even came to resent music. He spent the past year surviving and not living; he filled his time with part time jobs that would earn him the money he needed for rent and food.

In Changmin’s mind, he didn’t deserve to be happy when your life was cut short. He wished so badly that he could trade places with you.

With another sigh, he made his way towards your grave. He could tell your family stopped by earlier that morning. Someone had left a big bouquet of pink flowers for you. Beside it was a photo of you smiling, oblivious to the tragedy that would occur just a few months after it was taken.

He forced a smile, recalling how you used to complain about how everyone would bring you pink flowers instead of daisies for every occasion. Daisies were your favorite flower and Changmin was the only one who ever remembered.

He placed his own bouquet down and sat next to it. Holding up your photo, he spoke to it as if you would reply.

“It’s been a while hasn’t it, Y/n?” he attempted to say in a cheery voice. “I’m sorry it took me so long to come back. I… I was afraid. Seeing you like this really makes reality hit as if waking up in an empty bed isn’t a strong enough reminder.”

He set the picture down and turned around to face your headstone. Hesitantly, he wiped at a spot and fell into silence. 

“Everyone tells me that the accident wasn’t my fault. I don’t believe it but even if it was true, I still hate myself for letting you leave when the last words I said to you weren’t that I love you. Not only did you die a painful death, but you died with the hurt I inflicted on your heart,” his voice cracked as he choked back tears.

Flashbacks of that day flooded his memory. He winced, finally confronting what he couldn’t for a year.

Changmin had left the dance studio angry. Angry at himself. Angry at his inability to perfect the choreography. Unlucky timing had you outside waiting for him to finish. He had planned on blowing off some steam by meeting Sunwoo for drinks but was stopped by you. You had noticed how upset he was and wanted to cheer him up but was brushed off.

Changmin knew he was snappy when he was pissed and didn’t want you to be on the receiving end. He wanted to spare you from walking on eggshells around him and knew that Sunwoo would quietly let him rant without getting hurt by his actions or words. Instead of clarifying, however, he let you misunderstand and walked away.

You watched him leave, staring at his back. The past month with him had been rocky. You knew he was stressed from preparing for the upcoming competition but you still missed the bubbly Changmin. Nowadays, he was more sensitive and on edge than happy and affectionate.

You had bought matching couple rings in hopes of brightening up his mood. They were simple rings made of silver and meant for the pinky finger. It was to symbolize your promises to each other—to always love and appreciate each other. Yours was already on your pinky but his was left in the box you were hiding in your pocket. You sighed and figured that you’d get the chance to give it to him later.

Except that chance never came. Changmin only came across that ring later when he found it on his table back at his place.

“You know, I left you knowing you probably thought I was irritated with you too. It was because I assumed I’d get to clear that up later. Like always. But later never came,” he fidgeted with the ring that now never left his own pinky.

What a cruel way to teach him a lesson.

“I guess at one point, I started taking you for granted. Taking our time together for granted. Who would've known that death would literally do us part before we even made our vows?” he chuckled at the irony. “I never told you but I intended on proposing to you as soon as we graduated. I got ahead of myself and was planning things way in advance. Would you believe me if I said I already decided where to go for our honeymoon?”

He could almost hear you laugh. If you were next to him, you’d lean on his shoulder as you doubled over in laughter. You had loved and teased him for his sweet side.

“That’s how sure I was that we’d get forever together. You spent the rest of your life with me but now I have the rest of my life ahead of me without you. A little unfair, don’t you think?”

Changmin had so many regrets. He wanted nothing but to go back in time and re-do things. After bottling everything inside him for a full year, everything was spilling out now that he was there with you.

You and Changmin hadn’t moved in together but you often slept over. That day, you waited until night for him to come home. He never did.

Sunwoo had called you from the restaurant they were at, asking you to come pick Changmin up. He wasn’t completely wasted but he was definitely too drunk to go home by himself. Sunwoo apologized, saying he couldn’t take him home because he had a prior arrangement to attend.

So you ended up sitting across from your boyfriend, waiting for him to sober up a little more before leaving the restaurant. This was not how you thought you would spend your anniversary with him. When he stormed off from the dance studio after spending the whole day there, you had already presumed he forgot what day it was for you two. You tried to be understanding, knowing that he felt extreme pressure about the competition.

You didn’t expect any gifts but you had hoped that you would at least have dinner together. But now that was also out of the window. You suppressed your annoyance and reminded yourself of how happy Changmin was when he was dancing. You wanted to be supportive of him.

“Why did you come here?” Changmin asked. Something about his tone irked you.

“What?” you frowned.

“I’m a fully grown man who can find his way back home fine,” his words dug a knife into your heart. You wondered if he forgot that you were the reason why he made it home safe and sound after drinking.

“You should be thankful that I always take care of your drunk ass,” you huffed. “You know, you can’t just count on me to do all these things for you. I do it because I want to but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be appreciated.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he sighed.

You hated that look on his face. He had that look often nowadays. That tired look that screamed that he was too tired to even argue with you. It scared you. Even arguing took interest that he didn’t seem to give you these days. You would rather fight with him than live in such silence.

So you did. You exploded at him.

“No, Changmin, I don’t know. I never know what you’re thinking anymore. You don’t tell me anything and just assume that I can read your mind. And it feels like I’m expected to play the role of your girlfriend when you don’t even act like my boyfriend. You need to take a step back and realize how grateful we should be towards each other.”

After your outburst, you waited for his response. You waited for him to either yell back or apologize. Anything to show that he still cared. Instead, he said something that made you wish that he just didn’t say anything at all.

“Why are you being like this today?”

You felt the knife dig deeper into your heart and his words stunned you into silence.

“You’ve changed,” you whispered.

And with that, you got up and left. Realizing he screwed up, Changmin ran out to chase you. It had gotten late and dark while he was inside and the sky was now pouring buckets. Without an umbrella, you were getting hit by the rain that hid the tears wetting your cheeks. When he finally caught up to you, he grabbed onto your wrist and spun you around to face him.

“You asked why I’m being like this? Today? Well, news flash, Changmin. Today’s our third year anniversary but I guess I’m the only one who cared to remember,” you cried.

His heart shattered at the sight of your face. He never meant to upset you. And he certainly didn’t mean to forget your anniversary. It had slipped his mind while he was focused on practicing. All that seemed futile when he saw the pain on your face.

You didn’t give him a chance to reply and shook his grip off of you. Wanting to avoid him, you ran to cross the street before the light turned red. At that moment, however, a car failed to break in time and the rain caused the driver to lose control.

Changmin’s eyes widened as he watched the vehicle crash into you. The noise was terrifying but seeing your body fly in the air and fall to the ground was even more horrifying. His legs moved before his brain processed the scene he just witnessed. He ran to your side and tried to shake you awake. His hand trembled when he saw that it was bloodied by the wound on your head.

The driver came out of the car, feeling both disbelief and guilt about what just happened. Changmin screamed at him to call the ambulance before returning his attention back to you. He begged you to stay alive but you took your last breath that night at 11:11.

After Changmin came back to Seoul, Chanhee caught him outside of his apartment and dragged him to dinner. He knew that his friend would be mourning all day and not remember to eat. So they went to a nearby restaurant and he practically had to shove the soup into his mouth.

By the time Changmin arrived home, it was late. He washed up and plopped onto his bed, wishing the day would hurry up and come to an end. Staring at the ceiling, he waited for sleep to take him out of his misery for a while. Eventually, his fatigue took over and he fell asleep the second the clock turned to 11:11.

When he awoke, he didn’t feel as groggy as he normally did. He felt strangely well rested. Wondering how long he had slept for, he checked his phone for the time. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he saw the date. It was yesterday’s date but with the previous year. He figured it was a cruel glitch on the device’s part and threw it back down.

He got up to get ready for his shift and fumbled around to look for the sneakers he just recently purchased. No matter how hard he looked, it was nowhere to be found. He found it odd but settled for an old pair of sneakers he hadn’t worn in a while.

After he put them on, he turned the doorknob to leave. He swung the door open and was shocked at the sight in front of him. You were standing there, holding a bag of groceries. Just like you did a year ago.

“Uh Changmin?” you stared at him, waiting for him to move so you could walk in.

Changmin was speechless. His brain felt like it stopped functioning; he didn’t know how to react to the familiar scene in front of him.

“Is this a dream?” he asked out loud.

His heart was racing. You hadn’t shown up in his dreams in so long. Now that you appeared to him, there were so many things he wanted to tell you. He wanted to tell you that he didn’t mean to hurt you. That he was sorry. But in that moment, all he could manage to do was pull you in for a hug.

“Is something wrong, baby?” you asked.

“Everything. N-nothing,” he stuttered.

Was he supposed to talk to you about everything that happened? Was he supposed to just enjoy reliving this day? He couldn’t decide.

You chuckled at the peculiarity of your boyfriend, finding him endearing. You motioned for him to move over and let you in, which he complied while still in a daze. You placed the groceries on the table and began to put away what needed to be refrigerated.

“Are you going to the studio to practice today as well?” you asked, opening a small carton of milk for your boyfriend.

He slowly took the drink you handed him and nodded. He then shook his head, not wanting to repeat his mistakes.

“Today’s our anniversary. We should do something special,” he suggested.

You lit up, excited to go on a date with him. You were glad you chose to dress up today.

“What do you have in mind?” you asked.

“Hmm how about that art gallery you’ve been wanting to go to?” he smiled at your happy expression. “I haven’t had lunch yet so we can eat some pasta before we go.”

So you two headed out to your favorite Italian restaurant and he ordered a bunch of dishes. You had protested, insisting that you wouldn’t be able to finish but he insisted that he wanted to spoil you that day.

He felt like he was on cloud nine as he watched you enjoy your meal. He missed this. He missed seeing you wiggle in your seat because of how good the food was. He missed cutting your steak for you because you were clumsy with knives. He hoped the dream wouldn’t end any time soon.

Noticing that he wasn’t eating much, you picked up a slice of pizza and held it in front of his mouth. His cheeks filled up after he took a bite and you laughed at how cute he looked. Your laughter prompted him to laugh as well, showing off his dimples that you loved.

You left the restaurant stuffed and was ready to fall into a food coma. Yet you couldn’t refuse when Changmin bought you your favorite ice cream. You strongly believed that people had a second stomach for dessert. You walked with the ice cream in one hand and with Changmin’s hand in the other. You stuck closer to him and leaned your head on his shoulder. He turned to look at you and didn’t want to ever look away.

After spending a couple of hours at the art gallery, you found an arcade and tugged him inside. You bet on dinner over three rounds of a vintage game, which you won. You cheered when your victory flashed across the screen, making him chuckle. To be honest, he let you win by pretending to slip up at the end but seeing your joy was worth it.

To Changmin’s discomfort, you chose the samgyupsal place that you two had fought at. Of course, you didn’t know that and just wanted to spend the night eating meat and drinking beer. Although hesitant, he agreed to your menu selection.

Changmin was indescribably elated to be able to sit and chat with you for hours. He didn’t even notice the rainstorm that began once again outside. He was too busy listening to you talk about one of your assignments for a random elective class you took but ended up liking. You rambled on about how your professor was extremely kind and lenient with grading.

By the end of the night, you two left the restaurant and he grew anxious, anticipating the end of the dream. You took notice of his sudden change in demeanor and questioned him about it. Before you could hear an answer, however, your hat was snatched and taken away by the wind. Not wanting it to get wet and dirty, you chased after it.

It all happened so fast. Again. Just as you were about to catch the hat, it blew further away, causing you to step out into the road. And again, there was nothing Changmin could do about the car that crashed into you.

This time, Changmin woke up with the feeling of falling from a tall height. The sensation startled him awake and he jumped up gasping. He scanned his surroundings, unsure of what he just experienced.

“A blissful dream turned into yet another nightmare,” he groaned.

He paused, reaching out for his phone to check the date. Both his jaw and phone dropped at the repeated date.

“No way,” he muttered. He shook his head, refusing to believe what was happening. “This doesn’t make any sense.”

He racked his brain for any plausible explanations. Surely this was another dream. A dream within a dream. Or maybe he’d finally lost it and was hallucinating everything. Believing in the latter, he made up his mind to finally go to the therapist Chanhee had been bugging him to go to. He quickly got dressed and put his shoes to head out. He paused when his hand grabbed the door.

“Surely it won’t happen again… right?” he wondered out loud.

To his surprise, you were there again on the other side of the door when he opened it. Trying to figure out what was going on, he slammed the door shut and froze. Outside, you blinked at the door in your face. Puzzled at your boyfriend’s behavior, you knocked.

Inside, Changmin flinched at the sudden noise. He was bewildered and beyond confused. This had to be a joke. Or a dream. Or a hallucination. How could you be real? There was no way you were actually back.

Or maybe, it was his chance to set things right. Maybe, if he did everything right, he could prevent your death. The idea sounded ingenious and insane to him. Taking a leap of faith, he flung the door back open and gazed at you. Still skeptical, he extended his hand out to hold yours. It felt warm, unlike the last time he held it in the rain. He wanted to cry in both shock and joy. He swallowed the lump rising in his throat and took the groceries from you.

“Are you okay, baby?” you asked, following him inside.

“I’m okay as long as you’re with me,” he said in a shaky voice.

You chuckled as you began to organize the groceries just like you did the day before.

“Are you going to the studio to practice today as well?” you asked, opening a small carton of milk.

Changmin stared at the milk you offered again. So many thoughts ran through his head as he tried to understand the situation. He determined that this was a blessing. He was given an opportunity to go back in time and change things. To save you.

“Let’s go watch a movie today,” he said.

He thought out and planned the rest of the day. He would sneak out in the middle of the movie to go buy a present for you. Using the excuse of an upset stomach, he went and bought a necklace he had been eyeing for months. It was quite expensive so he had saved up little by little and now he could finally afford to give it to you.

With the corner of his eye, he saw a couple looking at the ring section together. As if caught in a trance, he found himself walking towards the engagement rings. He gaped at the endless options of diamonds that sparkled as bright as your eyes. He bit his lip, contemplating if he should buy a ring as well. He initially wanted to wait until you both graduated but graduation never came for you. It was one of the biggest regrets of his life.

So he carefully took a look at the rows of rings until he saw one that immediately felt like it was meant for you. He quickly asked the worker to help him with his purchase and ran back into the theater to finish the rest of the movie with you.

You didn’t suspect a thing until he took the necklace out after lunch and put it on for you. You beamed at the surprise gift, eager to show him yours. Shyly, you retrieved the couple ring from your purse.

“It’s a promise ring meant for your pinky,” you explained as you slid it onto his finger. “A promise to always love and appreciate each other.”

He smiled at how proud you looked.

“See?” you showed him the ring on your own pinky.

“I love it,” he held his hand next to yours, admiring the view. “But uh I actually have a ring for you as well.”

With his heart pounding, he pulled out the square box and stood up. He took a deep breath before getting down on one knee, making you gasp. You felt tears brimming your eyes as he opened the box to reveal the diamond ring.

Watching proposal videos had always made you cringe. You didn’t get why people would cry. But in that moment, it all made sense when you found yourself unable to verbally reply. As a college student, you never expected him to propose. Sure, you had thought of marrying him but that seemed like such a faraway idea. You knew Changmin would always be in your future and didn’t see yourself marrying anyone else but him. So you managed to nod before he placed the ring on your finger.

“I know the timing may seem premature but with you, I want to have the courage to do what my heart desires. I want to see you walk down the aisle towards me. I want to show the world that I’m yours. I want to spend our honeymoon at Bora Bora and have two kids together. I want to raise a dog with you, just like you always dreamed of. I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he confessed.

After hearing his words, you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore. He embraced you in his arms and you buried your face into his chest as you sniffled. Resting his chin on your head, he wished time would stop. All he wanted was to stay in this moment forever.

By the time night approached again, he made sure to keep you away from the street and from any vehicles. You wondered why he was being so overprotective and clinging onto you. He didn’t offer an explanation and just gave you a nervous smile.

Looking at his watch, he let out a deep breath when he saw that it was almost 11 PM. His leg shook anxiously as he held your hand tighter. You had insisted on enjoying the sounds of the city in the rain so you two were sitting at a random bus stop.

All of a sudden, the cry of a child was heard. You turned around to see a little girl who seemed to be lost. You stood up to go help but Changmin sat you back down.

“You stay here. I’ll go,” he said, feeling uneasy.

While he brought the little girl to the bus stop to avoid the rain, a young boy caught your attention. He was playing with a ball and you wanted to warn him to be careful. Before you could open your mouth, however, he dropped the ball and ran into the street to get it back. You panicked, seeing a motorcycle speeding towards the kid.

You ran out to pull the child back but was hit instead. Changmin’s heart dropped at the sound of the collision. When he turned back to find you, you were laying on the wet ground with blood pooling around you. Seeing you die for the third time wasn’t any less traumatic. In fact, it broke him even more. He hated himself for letting it happen again.

“Y/n, please please wake up,” he begged as he held your face in his hands. “You can’t leave me. Not again. I promised myself that I would change your fate. Y/n, please!”

Every time Changmin woke up, that day repeated itself. And each time, he would try to keep you alive. But no matter how hard he tried, that cursed time of 11:11 always ended his brief time with you with the same outcome.

When he kept you inside, you fell down the stairs. When he tried to make you sleep by tucking you in early, you never woke up. Thinking it was Seoul that was the problem, he even took you down to Busan. Paranoid, he even spent the whole day and night with you at his place. But every time the clock hit 11:11, the inevitable would occur and he would wake up to repeat it once again.

The seventh time he awoke to the same day, he screamed in frustration.

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” he yelled out.

He cried into his sleeves, wondering if this was his punishment for being unable to save you. While he wallowed in grief, he heard you knock on his door. He wiped away his tears and got up to greet you. Oblivious to his mood, you walked in and opened the refrigerator like you did the previous times.

“Are you going to the studio to practice today as well?” you asked, opening a small carton of milk.

“Let’s just stay in today. I’ll cook you something,” he bitterly smiled when he saw that the engagement ring was no longer on your finger.

He rummaged through his kitchen, looking for ingredients. You sat down next to the counter and watched as he made you kimchi fried rice. You enjoyed watching him cook. He didn’t do it often because he wasn’t very confident about his skills but you loved the gesture. You thought it was cute when he had that concentrated look he usually saved for dancing.

After lunch, you spent the next few hours watching movies. You had eventually noticed how sad he was. You looked over at your boyfriend who seemed preoccupied with his own thoughts. Mustering up some bravery, you proposed watching a horror movie. You knew it was his favorite genre but didn’t watch scary movies with him often because you got scared easily. Slightly surprised by your suggestion, he agreed and let you choose one of the recommended movies on Netflix.

At every jump scare, you snuggled closer to him. Throughout the whole film, you clung onto his arm and he comforted you by stroking your head. Treasuring the time he got to spend with you, he allowed himself to feel at ease for a bit.

For dinner, you convinced him to go out to eat. On the way back, he lured you into a gift shop, kicking himself for not preparing a present ahead of time. While you were busy looking at the dolls, he managed to pick out a bracelet and slid it into his pocket after secretly paying for it. He knew it would be gone when the day reset and dreaded having to see your listless body again later.

When you two returned back to his place, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. He wanted to savor every second he was able to spend with you. Noticing his gaze, you stared at him back, bringing a smile to his face. You poked his dimple, laughing at his expression.

“So I got you a little something. I hope you didn’t think that I forgot our anniversary,” he said as he put it on your wrist.

Smiling, you took out the gift you had prepared.

“It’s a promise ring meant for your pinky,” you said as you slid the ring onto his finger. “A promise to always love and appreciate each other.”

“See?” you revealed the ring on your own finger.

After hearing those words for the nth time, he finally broke down. He began to bawl, catching you off guard. For a few minutes, he wept as you tried to soothe him.

“Okay, spill. What’s been bothering you all day, Changmin?” you demanded.

He sighed, knowing what he was about to say was insane. He didn’t want to scare you but it all came out as word vomit.

“I’ve been reliving this day multiple times. I know it sounds crazy—it is crazy—but I was sent back in time. It’s actually supposed to be a year from now, a day after today. But instead, I’m stuck in this endless loop trying to save you. You died, Y/n. You died a year ago and you keep dying again and again! I thought I was given this opportunity because of all the regrets I had. The day you died, I was a complete jerk and you got into an accident after we argued. I blamed and resented myself. I had so many “what if’s” and “if only’s” that it tormented me,” he paused to catch his breath.

“I thought I had to repeat this day until I successfully prevented your death but nothing’s working. I can’t change things!” he cried. “I’ve tried over and over and over again. I’ve tried keeping you away from the street, taking you out of the city, and even locking us up in this damn apartment and nothing’s working! Every time 11:11 comes around, the same conclusion happens.”

You sat in silence, unsure of how to process all the information he just threw at you. He was way too emotional for this to be a joke and too upset for it to be unreal. But at the same time, you wanted it to be fake. You didn’t want to believe it. You were still so young. You had hopes and dreams you had yet to achieve. You wanted to crumble but you couldn’t bear to do so after seeing how heartbroken Changmin was. After thinking for some time, you finally spoke up.

“Maybe you were given a chance not to save me but to let me go,” you said quietly. ”You said you regretted the day I died. Maybe this is your chance to get closure. Send me off in peace. Find peace yourself.”

“No. No way. I’m not letting you leave me again. Not after all I’ve been through,” he said, desperately hugging you. “I finally get to hold you in my arms again. It’s okay if I have to relive this day forever. As long as I can see you, I’m okay with that.”

“Changmin...” your heart broke at the sight of his crestfallen face.

You let him keep his tight hold on you. He was so afraid you’d disappear again that he refused to let you or himself fall asleep. You looked at the clock and saw that the time was approaching.

“Baby, you know you can’t. I’m not coming back to life. I can’t. That’s not how the world works. We were blessed to have the chance to say our final goodbyes. Not everyone gets that. We’re lucky. We get to remind each other of how much we love each other and I get to tell you that I want you to be happy even if I’m not by your side. I’ll still be with you. In your heart. As long as you keep me there,” you pulled away to meet his eyes. “I don’t want you to be miserable without me. I want you to live your life to the fullest. Let me live vicariously through you.”

“But I have so many things I want to do with you. So many things I never got to say to you,” he stammered.

“Nobody gets to fulfill all their desires,” you smiled sadly. “Just know that I know how you feel. I know that you love me. I know that you want to grow old together. I know that you want to see mini me and mini you. I do too. I’m so sorry I won't be able to do that with you.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks. Admitting it out loud made it feel real.

“You have no idea how badly I want to walk down that aisle with you. I want to live happily ever after while bickering with you. I want to see you dance and I want to succeed in my own career. I hardly lived over two decades but you made me so happy for most of it. I’m glad I got to love you. It’s a shame I won’t get to get my degree after studying so hard but there are bigger regrets. Like wishing I had spent more time with you. Wishing we took more trips together.”

Changmin looked at you with a pained expression. He wished that he had taken more pictures with you. That he had gone on more dates with you. That he made you laugh more.

“I guess we were given this opportunity in exchange for all of that. At least now I’ll get to leave knowing that I’m loved and that you know I love you. Our last day wasn’t spent arguing but hugging,” you pointed out.

The two of you lain wordlessly on his bed. The only sound was the clock on his wall ticking.

“Can you tell my family that I love them? And my friends too. I wish I could say goodbye to everyone but that would be greedy of me,” you said wistfully.

At his silence, you turned to look at him. When you saw the guilt on face, you sat up and beckoned for him to do the same. You glanced at the clock, taking note of the time.

“Ji Changmin, I love you. Thank you for making me the happiest girl in the world,” you smiled with tears in your eyes. “While we make promises with this ring, can you also promise me another thing?”

You waited for him to nod before continuing.

“Promise me that you won’t blame yourself for anything and that you’ll move on. I want you to have all the extra happiness I’ll miss out on. I’ll be expecting you to lead a fruitful life for my sake too,” you held out your pinky, waiting for him to wrap his around yours.

“It’s okay if I start to fade out of your memory over the years,” you added. “I’ll understand when my face starts to become fuzzy to you. I’ll even understand when you get married and have kids. I’ll be your kids’ godmother and look out for them. I can’t wait to see little baby Ji’s.”

“But I don’t want that if it’s not with you…” he whispered.

“Don’t be silly. You’re still young and have the rest of your life ahead of you. I’ll be mad if I’m the one that’s holding you back. Now, hurry up and promise me. My arm’s hurting,” you shook your pinky at him, urging him to lock fingers together.

It tore him apart but he shakily held out his hand to make his promise. More tears escaped his eyes each time he blinked.

11:05.

Changmin held your tear-stained cheeks in his hands, staring into your eyes. You hated the sad look in his own eyes but knew yours was the same. He hated the ominous feeling that predicted that this would be his last time in the loop. Now that he came to terms with the fixed ending, he would be freed from his desperate desire for a different outcome.

“Thank you, Y/n, for teaching me what love is. From when I first met you up until now, there hasn’t been a single moment that I didn’t cherish. I love you. I love you so so much. I spent the past year unable to forget you and I never will. I’m going to believe that you’ll be watching over me and I’m going to make you proud. I’m going to experience both my and your share of happiness. So don’t worry about me. I won’t be able to follow you soon but I’ll join you up there one day. Please wait for me.”

“I may be your first love but I certainly don’t hope I’ll be your last. Instead, I hope that I’ll be your endless love,” you hummed, feeling drowsy.

“Of course,” he affirmed. “I love you, Y/n.”

“I love you too, Changmin.”

Changmin awoke feeling oddly comforted. The sun was shining through the window again and his apartment didn’t feel as empty for some reason. He eyed his phone and hesitantly picked it up. He was filled with mixed emotions when he saw that the year was finally set back to the present.

Out of habit from the past week, his eyes lingered on the door. You weren’t going to come knocking again but you also weren’t going to die again. You were finally sent off in peace.

His phone vibrated, notifying him of Chanhee’s daily text message. Chanhee was a persistent one as well.

Changmin decided to reply and asked him to grab breakfast together, which earned him an immediate “yes”. He told his friend to invite Sunwoo as well and got up to get ready for an outing for the first time in a long time. This was his first step in the healing process.

a/n: tbh i kinda cried writing this. i hope you cried too hehe also idk if you noticed but the line “endless love” is actually from the boyz’s “priority”. i really like that phrase and it’s been stuck in my head ever since the song came out

[soranociel]

I’m sorry, I love you.

Genre : angst

Pairing : gojo satoru x reader

Word count : 1.4k

Warning(s) : Jujutsu Kaisen manga spoiler, mention of blood and injury, graphic description of wound, a little sad I think, grammatical errors maybe hehe.

A/N : This is the first ever writing I post to the internet! Please take it easy on me, tumblr peeps.

"So you're going alone?" your voice filled in the dark hallway of Jujutsu High, breaking the long silence as you walk beside your comrade, Gojo. You were on your way to the yard to meet your team in order to watch over Shibuya. Layers of curtains had bestowed upon the place, and the whole facility had to hold a meeting to discuss how they would handle the situation.

"Yeah, as they wanted," Gojo replied with a smile on his face, you could feel that he was more tense and serious than usual. How could he not? The group that had invaded Shibuya wanted him all by himself.

"Be careful," you glanced at him with the corner of your eyes, worries filled up your mind with graphic images of how things could go wrong. It wasn't that you didn't trust him and his power, you were scared of losing him.

Gojo let out a chuckle, his head turned to you with a smile plastered on his face. "Don't worry, I am the strongest," there he went again, rambling about he's the strongest though he was right, it was a little annoying to hear him say that. Like come on, he didn't have to rub that to everyone at all times, you thought to yourself.

"Now if you'll excuse me,"

"Satoru, I-"

You both had reached the end of the hallway to meet the cold breeze the weather had to offer. You wanted say something ahead of his departure, but before you could finish what you had to say, Gojo had vanished into the night, leaving you alone to stare up into the starry sky, praying to whatever higher entity that the man you just talked to would be safe.

Now all you could see was the same sky, except that there was no stars splattered all over it because you were under the curtain inside of Shibuya. Your eyes were half open, you could feel a light breeze over the side of your body as you move forward. It was the only thing you felt other than the immense pain on your head and shoulder, it was so intense that you almost felt like you went numb.

You tried your best to recall what had happened, trying progress with the consciousness you had left in your body.

Then it hit you. A flashing imagine of the man with patches on his body, which you believed was called Mahito, touched the side of your head. You were running beforehand, pushing Nobara out of the way of his range. Then you realised Mahito ended up pushing his palm against you, even then you tried to dodge him. Yet to no avail, your shoulder had gotten the same impact he had left on your head.

You couldn't remember anything else, except seeing two Kyoto students behind Yuuji before you collapsed into the ground. It was the buff student who called Yuuji his brother who had participated in the sister school event, and the other you had never seen before. But if you're not hallucinating, you're in his arms right now as he ran, while you could hear Nobara yelled before your eyes gave up on trying to open themselves.

"Can you run faster?!" the red-haired girl exclaimed, looking to her side with her breath short after running from the scene of her teacher trying to protect– or sacrifice herself for her. "I'm trying!" the boy shouted back without looking at her, his eyes focused on the empty street as his feet kept a steady pace. Nobara on the other hand, grimaced at the sight of you. You looked so awful that she could only give one look at you before keeping her head up, biting the inside of her mouth to keep her tears from falling down her cheeks. There was a small hole on the side of your head where Mahito had touched you, it was so deep and anyone with eyes could see your brain through it. And the bone on your shoulder was showing, the blood of it touched the ground like a broken faucet that can't stop the fall of small water drops.

_______

You slowly opened your eyes to see to see an unfamiliar ceiling, trying to recall the past that felt like a minute ago, yet the only thing clouding your mind was Gojo and the fact that he was sealed. You should've thought about anything else, really, but you just couldn't. All you felt was the agonising pain that wouldn’t stop eating at your entire being, and thinking there was no possibility where you can see him again. You wanted to look at how bad your injury were, but you couldn't. The ache had spread all over your body and you could only move your eyes and your trembling mouth.

A familiar palm moved above your head, it was Ieiri's hand trying to heal the wound that's been inflicted upon you. You felt like your ripped shoulder were stitching its skin all by itself, yet it was still painful, and the sting that ruled over your body overpowered the mending she had been trying to do to you.

"Te... S.. Sato.. I lo hi,"

Tell Satoru I love him.

That was what you were trying to say, but you were sure it did not come out that way. It was difficult to speak with your parted mouth and your barely moving tongue, it took so much effort for you just to say a part of his name. Yet you believed that Ieiri understood you. She was your best friend, after all.

She remembered how you cried when you had heard the news that a jujutsu sorcerer assassin had killed Gojo. All because you just couldn't imagine a world– or to live in a world where he's not around. He was like a seeping marker, painting the whole world with his teasy remarks and his full of pride personality. To some people, what he does might be seen as annoying, but to you, everything would become dull and colorless without him. You hated silence because then your intrusive thoughts would always be loud enough to disturb you. It would feel like you were in the dark tunnel with no way out, a loophole. Yet his loud voice ringing in your ears with a wide grin on his face, and his blue eyes peering through his sunglasses made you forget all your worries. Your heart would beat faster whenever he's around to say or do whatever and it would feel like spring in you heart. Flowers bloom and the sun gently giving its light upon whatever is on earth, you felt like your soul was alive and bright. Yet you would never admit your feelings. As much as you loved his behaviour, letting him know you liked him would only boost his ego. So all you did was pretending to hate him and all his actions, which was the total opposite of how you really felt.

She remembered too, how you reacted when you saw Gojo came back to life because of his reverse technique. You wanted to run and hug him, but he was just your upperclassman. Instead, you wrapped your arms around Ieiri's body so tightly and hid your crying face against her shoulder. She knew you loved him. Yet you still wouldn't disclose it in front of his face, and continued your play-pretend of disliking him.

Throwing him 'shut up's every time he opened his mouth, which you knew that wouldn't stop him and he would only speak more and you never really mind it. Ignoring him and saying no, knowing he wouldn't stop talking and bothering you until he get what he wanted. Murmuring your little 'i hate you's to him because you knew he'd be whining and denying that you didn't actually hate him, and of course he was right. Having to suppress a smile everytime he made a silly joke because you knew he would tease you and said that you actually liked it, and of course, you did. Rolling your eyes at his teasings because you knew he would keep going and it actually made you happy. You did all that to avoid your feelings, and you knew it was a hypocrisy because you only found yourself falling deeper as the time passes.

"Tell him that yourself," she stuttered, eyes twitching and her lips curved as she focused, trying her best effort to make sure you live to see another day.

A tear ran down the side of your face, at that point, you didn't know if it was because of the ache that started to strangle your throat as you struggled to breath, or the fact that you likely won't be able to do what Ieiri had wished you to do. To tell Gojo Satoru, that you love him.

I'm sorry, I love you.

[biggest-stupidhead]

Hello! I'm gonna drop here another request 🤣 This could be a headcanon or a scenario, whatever you feel comfortable with!

Let's just say the clumsy new cadet!reader landed a punch a little too strong and broke Captain Levi's nose by accident?

Thanks!

omfg I love this so much 

Summary: Levi underestimates your strength 

Word Count: 1.7K 

__ 

It was late in the afternoon and you were pooped. The day had been long and taxing, beginning with stable duties, then cleaning, followed promptly by ODM practice and upkeep. The captain had kept you all on your toes throughout the day, seamlessly ordering you into your next task. So as you doubled over in an attempt to recover your regular breathing pattern you silently prayed for the day to come to a close miraculously two hours early. 

“This sucks.” Jean huffed across from you, mirroring your stance as he turned and spat a glob of saliva out onto the dusty ground. 

“I second that.” Connie agreed breathlessly from behind you, Sasha’s wheezing breath was distracting you from your own breathing and you found yourself hacking as you tried to refocus. Mikasa on the other hand was totally fine, her eyes lazily scanning the training grounds as she waited for her next orders. Armin and Eren were on their knees as they tried to recover from the sprints that you hall had just finished. 

“Pack it up brats, meet me at the courtyard in no more than three minutes.” Levi ordered, the whirring of his gear signaling his retreat. You huffed, jealous of his ability to use the gear, you and the rest of your squad had left your gear back at the supply barn, having thought that the day’s training was nearly finished. The only task that he could possibly throw at you now was sparring, something that you rarely did as scouts, and when you did do it, the exercise was often held first thing in the morning. So when you all arrived at the courtyard to find Levi with his arms crossed and wooden knives at his feet, you felt your heart sink. How could he be so cruel? Mikasa clicked her tongue next to you, clearly thinking the same thing as you. Eren groaned a bit too loudly, Connie whimpered and Sasha sighed heavily. Jean remained silent, but the gloomy aura surrounding him was enough to hint that he felt the dismay that you all felt as well. 

“What are you waiting for? Pair off already.” Levi snapped impatiently and all of you jumped to find partners. This was always an issue within your squad, especially when it came to sparring. There was an odd number, meaning that one of you had to partner up with the captain. You lunged to grab Armin but Jean beat you to him, snatching him and dragging him well out of your reach, Eren and Mikasa were already picking up a knife, Connie gave you a look that was laced with pity as Sasha linked her arm with his. You huffed and stuck your tongue out at him before making the walk of shame over to Levi. 

“I’ll be the attacker.” He said as he stooped to grab a knife, you swallowed nervously but braced yourself for what you were sure would be the worst ass whopping in your life. Levi held the wooden knife with a frown, he studied it momentarily before with a flick of his wrist her had the fake weapon spinning in the air. He caught it effortlessly and nodded in approval. Now he was just showing off, you thought bitterly as you focused on him entirely. In the blink of an eye he rushed you, the knife held against his side, no doubt a habit from his earlier years. You panicked and narrowly sidestepped his attack, the blunt knife cutting through the air where you once stood. Levi stepped back before you could even think about landing a blow. You held your fists up, determination replacing the shock you had felt. You were going to see this fight through to the bitter end. He caught the flash of conviction in your features and decided that he would extinguish it promptly. 

He lunged once more at you, this time opting to make a stabbing motion right to your abdomen, a move he wouldn’t dream of making if he had a real knife in his hand, he preferred slashing over stabbing, stabbing took too much effort, while slashing allowed for less energy and more space between himself and his opponent. He regretted this almost instantly, having severely underestimated both your speed and your strength behind your punches. You sidestepped the stab and clocked him right in the nose, your fist connecting with his face with a sickening crunch. In his moment of pure shock, you snatched the wooden knife from his grasp and tossed it to the side. You used your weight to push Levi back onto his butt, and then flat on his back. He could only blink up at the blue sky as his nose throbbed in pain. It was then when you got a clear look at the damage that you had inflicted that you gasped, blood was leaking from his nose, both from his nostrils and a small cut that you’d managed to create from the sheer force of your fist. 

“Captain! I am so so sorry.” You whispered as you reached into his breast pocket, where you knew that he kept a fresh handkerchief. You pressed it to his nose and his grey eyes left the sky to stare at you, brows raised and mouth open in shock. You were knelt next to him, one hand on his shoulder, the other pinching his nose for him. Levi felt the shock wear off once he realized how stupid he must look. He sat upright at the speed of light, and you yelped. He sighed and watched as the soiled fabric fell onto the dusty ground, the crimson that stained the crisp white only solidified that he had been bested by a cadet. 

“Good work cadet, that was...unexpected.” He admitted as he turned to face you. You swallowed thickly and shook your head rapidly. 

“Lucky shot I guess?” You said nervously as you studied the damage once more, this time you noticed the way that his nose was slightly crooked. 

“You should...probably get that checked out.” You said, pointing at his nose, worried that it would be you who marred the captains perfect features. 

“Just a broken nose, not the first time it’s happened and I’m willing to be it won’t be the last either.” Levi sighed as he stood and offered you a hand to help you to your own feet. You accepted and he turned to the other cadets, who were all staring at you with slack jaws. 

“That’s enough for today, go get washed up for dinner.” Levi said, pinching his nose once he finished speaking. Your peers saluted him and made a clean getaway, kicking up the dust as they scurried away. You felt much to guilty to let Levi walk to the infirmary by himself, and for whatever reason he had no qualms in letting you accompany him. But you noticed that he was in fact not heading towards the infirmary, but instead Hange’s lab. 

“Sir....where are we-” 

“I can’t stand the pompous doctor.” He said, as if that was enough of an explanation. 

“So who-” 

“Hange can set bones back just as good as the next idiot.” He said simply as he gave one curt knock before entering. Hange looked up from behind the pile of books and let out a bark of laughter. 

“Sparring with Mike again? What good has that ever done you?” She asked as she rounded the table and reached onto one of the top shelves to produce a first aid kit. 

“Wasn’t sparring with that oaf.” Levi grunted as he dropped into one of the chairs in Hange’s lab. She hummed thoughtfully, and looked up from her work to catch your eyes. 

“Can you confirm this cadet?” She asked, a playful glint in her eyes as you averted your eyes and flushed. 

“Actually...” 

“She’s the one that broke my nose.” Levi said, beating you to it and stating it much more bluntly than you would have. Hange let out a roar of laughter and slapped her knee in her enthusiasm. 

“That’s just rich! Wow great work (Y/n)! I mean I would’ve expected this from Ackerman, or maybe even Eren. But you? My god this is just-” 

“Set my nose already shitty glasses.” Levi snapped, having had enough of her teasing, his already thin patience was worn to near exhaustion. Hange sighed and motioned for you to come closer. 

“Let’s use this as a teaching opportunity shall we?” She mused as you came to stand at her shoulder. You weren’t sure if you had much of a choice so you simply nodded and she smirked devilishly at you. She brought her hands to the side of Levi’s head, he closed his eyes and let out a slow breath as Hange moved a hand over the bridge of his nose. 

“When setting any bone it is important to do so quickly and unapologetically.” She said formally as she tenderly examined the wound. She reached behind her with her free hand and dabbed a cotton ball to the bloody skin, you swallowed nervously as she now returned to grip the bridge of his nose. 

“On the count of three Levi.” She hummed as she seemed to brace herself. Levi didn’t even open his eyes at her warning. 

“One...” 

CRACK

You yelped at the loud sound, Hange was quick to reach for some more cotton which she stuffed up Levi’s nostrils. Levi groaned when she finished and reclined further in the chair, his knuckles white from squeezing the arms of the seat. 

“Oh my god.” Was all you could manage as Hange wiped her hands off on a towel. 

“Go ahead and take him to dinner. He’ll be fine in the next couple of weeks.” She waved you off, shooing the both of you out of her office. When the door slammed shut behind the two of you, you turned to Levi with a twisted expression. 

“Captain I am so sorry, I really didn’t mean to. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” You practically begged as Levi closed his eyes and ran a hand through his messy locks. 

“Well....you can do my paperwork for me.” He said, you immediately regretted extending your kindness, much to Levi’s amusement. 

“I’ll go make us some tea then...” You mumbled turning to stalk off towards the kitchen. Levi watched you walk away, pride swelling in his chest, he didn’t think that you had it in you. Now all he had to do was get you to stop apologizing all the god damn time. 

__

Oh my god, this was such a fun lil idea. 

[loomis-maxima]

𝘵𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥

a/n :  this is... pure filth and i’m not even sorry, im also sleep deprived so if it sucks, my bad. word count : 4k requested : yes and no warnings :  18+ only/ mentions of drugs/threesome/unprotected sex/name calling yk.. all the good stuff. [ty to @anongirl007 for brainstorming shit w me]

It was known that Chishiya and Niragi were both men that liked getting what they wanted, and they both knew exactly how to get it. The problem with that is they’re both so similar, but so different. Niragi would use his placement in the Militans and his twisted love for inflicting fear, pain and murder on anyone that would get in his way or try and stop him from having what he truely desired. _______________ Almost nothing was worse than the feeling of entering a game that was literally based on luck. Even with such a simple task to pick between 3 pills. One, that will kill you the second you take it. The other two.. Not as bad. Separated from your game partners, you stared down at three simple pills on top of a simple desk. That’s all that was in the room, besides the door to get out. You assumed Niragi and Chishiya’s rooms looked similar. The thoughts of taking the wrong pill and having your life ended, sent fear through your whole body, but there was a feeling of adrenaline that rushed through you too. Maybe that explained the current.. situation.. That you had gotten yourself into with Niragi, basically signing yourself up to be used by him whenever he felt like it, but also all while wanting some part of Chishiya. If Niragi knew that his toy wanted someone other than him, he would be rabid, let alone that someone being the one Niragi hated the most… he wouldn’t hesitate to make you regret even having the thought of another man. Don’t get it mixed up, there was only one reason why he wanted you, and it definitely wasn’t in a romantic way, to him, you’re just a hole he could have anytime, any place. Which was fine for you.. But you couldn’t help but shake the want for Chishiya. Focusing your thoughts back on the objective at hand, you looked closely at the small pills before you. No matter how hard you thought, you couldn’t figure this out. Checking the time on the phone that was provided you saw that you had one minute left to make a decision. You didn’t even want to think about what would happen if you ran out of time. Unlike Chishiya and Niragi, you didn’t observe the entrance to the separate rooms close enough to have figured this out. What you managed to miss was along the long hallway, there were three smaller hallways in front of them, all leading  to three different rooms. They both picked up the repeating numbers unlike you, leaving you to your game of luck.  With the sound of your phone alerting you that you had 30 seconds left to complete the game,  you could have swore you felt a bead of sweat roll down your forehead. Your heart pounded in your ears as hurriedly picked up the second pill,  the ten second countdown began. Without time to think you threw the pill into your mouth and swallowed it just before the countdown hit one. You closed your eyes tight,  waiting for something to happen. Nothing. ‘’I passed’’ you said to yourself quietly, opening your eyes to look around the room. The door in front of you that was once sealed shut was opening right before your eyes.  The feeling of relief quickly ran through your body as you exited the room before walking down another long white hallway to another door, leading you back out to the world. ________________________________ Unlike what you thought, the pill you ended up taking wasn’t the pill that had no side effects.. Instead, shortly after arriving at the Beach, you felt red hot all over your body,  your hands were clammy and there was a weird feeling in the pit of your stomach that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. You hoped Kuina couldn’t tell there was something up with you, especially not knowing what it was yourself. You could thank the blue light that's shining from the pool for slightly blocking out how red your face was. As you both  discussed the different games each of you had taken part in, you caught a glimpse of familiar long, dyed grey hair passing through the crowd. Once you could distinctly see Chishiya’s face you instantly felt that feeling in your stomach almost multiply. As he approached you and Kuina, he could quickly tell that something was up with you. Chishiya made note of the flush in your cheeks unlike everyone else, the way a couple of strands of your hair stuck to your forehead because of the heat that had taken over your whole body, the fact your pupils had largened, or the way your lips were slightly parted, almost as if you were lost for breath.. But not to the extent that  it was noticeable, except for Chishiya. He had studied every single detail on your face when you had first joined the Beach. Never admitting it though, deep down he knew how he felt about you, never to mention it or even hint at the idea. Chishiya knew that would make him look weak, and that was something he couldn’t have happen. Chishiya stood beside Kuina, his hood up but his head slightly back with an amused smirk lightly on his face. He raised an eyebrow at you, ‘’So what pill did you pick y/n?’’ he asked, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. His voice caused your ear tips to burn as you felt a sudden warmth between your legs.. Fuck. Trying to distract yourself from the feeling, that almost became painful, you racked your brain to remember what number you had chosen. ‘’Uh.. 2, I think, why?’’ you asked,  trying to keep your voice steady, not even believing your own voice. It looked as if Chishiya slightly chuckled at your answer, for a moment you wondered if he knew, but how would he?  Chishiya just shrugged a little before speaking. ‘’No reason, just curious’’ he lied right to your face, all while figuring out how to use this to his advantage. He knew had taken the middle pill just from one look at you, but he also knew exactly what was going to happen. Of course with just your luck, you had picked the one that just happened to be narcotics, crushed up and put into an empty pill capsule to match the appearance of the other too. You didn’t notice Kuina disappearing to join Arisu, until you noticed Chishiya take a step a little closer to you.  You also didn’t notice the eye contact he had made with Niragi across the pool, and that was the first step to his idea, this would’ve been the best advantage he could ever have had. ‘’You should really be careful with the pill you took’’ he said smirking slightly, intentionally trying to catch Niragi’s attention and have him come over. You didn’t know what to say, words being ripped from your brain as his slightly rough voice sent a feeling of a deep need to be fucked as you felt even more warmth leak from between your legs. He took your silence as his go ahead to continue speaking, ‘’you really shouldn’t be out here when the drugs fully take over if you think this is bad right now’’ What he said next was something you never would have thought of him saying this, ‘’you should go to your room, I’ll come after and help you’’ he spoke with a wink.  It was the most uncharacteristic for him- At least towards you. You took no convincing as you knew exactly what he meant, also not giving a shit about what would happen if and when Niragi found out. The almost pure animalistic feeling of lust ran over you. You didn’t care what would happen, you needed to be filled and it was gonna happen one way or another. ‘’Don’t take too long.’’ you said while nodding, then walking off back into the large building Just as Chishiya hoped, once you had retreated back inside to wait for him, Niragi had approached him. The wink that he had given to Niragi’s toy, was one step too far. Before Niragi could even open his mouth, Chishiya spoke. ‘’Before you start with your brainless insults and threats, you should know that in the game, you clearly didn’t know the effects of the pills.’’ he smirked, not fearing Niragi was always a benefit, especially when Chishiya could once show off his superiority and intellect. The two were rivals, both thinking that they were better than the other and would go to any lengths to prove it. But this time Niragi didn’t speak back as fast as usual, but the angry expression still resonated on his face, his tongue in his cheek, his pierced eyebrow raised while staring down the shorter man. With Niragi’s instinct he pressed the tip of his rifle right to Chishiya’s chest, ‘’well tell me, or I’ll blow your heart out in front of everyone here.’’ Niragi spat into his face, he hated how Chishiya could have the balls to even think of speaking back to him, the fact he didn’t fear him only intensified the hate for the intellectual grey haired man. Calling Niragi’s bluff, he let out a little scoff of air with a slight grin on his face as he spoke, ‘’You wouldn’t. Here’s why; if you kill me, you’ll never know. So unless you give me what I want, I won’t tell you.’’ he said, still standing strong even with the rifle pressed right against him. Niragi frowned right at him, he knew he was right. Niragi scoffed, his stubbornness working against him when he needed to know what Chishiya knew. After a few moments of silence, Niragi took the firearm from his chest. Chishiya knew this was risky, but he knew exactly how it would play out. Another competition between them. ‘’And what the fuck do you want?’’ Niragi said, his voice almost like a knife as the words came from his mouth. ‘’Considering I know you won’t let me have was I really want, I’ll compromise.’’ Chishiya spoke, standing up straighter and crossing his arms over his chest. Playing his cards right, he could get Niragi to agree before verbally agreeing. ‘’y/n took the wrong pill. Intense narcotics and assuming you right now, you took the right pill like me. The bad, or good thing about the drugs, is she’s going to be chasing a release that she won't be able to satisfy herself of.’’ He took a breath to try and let Niragi figure out what he means, except he didn’t. With another little chuckle under his breath Chishiya spoke out again. ‘’It means someone else has to do it. And knowing you wouldn’t let anyone fuck her, we’re both going to do it. Just another thing I’ll prove better than you at.’’ Chishiya knew the last comment would get under Niragi’s skin. With a slight nod of Niragi’s head and him accepting the challenge, it was set. ‘’Don’t be disappointed when you realise I’m the only one that can make her scream, Chishiya.’’ With a slight game plan of how they would go about this, the two rivals headed to your room. Niragi hung back a bit after knowing you were waiting for Chishiya. The thought of his property letting someone else have you made his blood boil, he’d make sure you knew it too. Ahead of him, Chishiya walked to your room and let himself in. But the sight that he had been greeted with almost knocked the wind out of his chest. You, lying naked on your bed, your skin almost looking hot as you had your head back with one hand holding your hair back from your face. Your eyes were shut as your other hand was roughly rubbing your clit, your fingers occasionally dipping into your entrance causing you to leave a visibly wet patch underneath you. The pleasure you were giving yourself was so needed that you weren’t aware of Chishiya entering and staring at you like you were his last meal. It was when you felt weight dip at the end of the bed and a hand running up your leg that you realised you weren’t alone. Your throat tightened and you removed your hand once you opened your eyes to see Chishiya moving his hand up to your core.  ‘’You really couldn’t wait huh?’’ he said, his fingers travelling up to where you needed him. You shook your head desperately, feeling your wetness dripping as you clenched pathetically around nothing. Chishiya smirked, looking down at your pussy, slowly dragging the tips of his fingers over your clit teasingly. The action made you almost cry out in need. ‘’Look at you.. So desperate.’’ you heard as you felt two of his fingers pushing into you before pulling them out and putting them into his mouth just as you made eye contact with him, sucking the wetness from you off them. Standing up he quickly pulled his clothing off. While pulling you to him and flipping you over onto your hands and knees, you facing the door. For reasons you wouldn’t know yet. Feeling you press yourself against him, Chishiya smirked to himself. ‘’You’re really desperate for it, aren’t you?’’ he said, running his tip along your folds, His words only pulling a whine and a nod from you, not understanding why he was dragging it out so long. You felt him lean over you to speak into your ear, his breath was harsh on the sensitive skin by your neck. ‘’As pretty as you are when you’re a mess, I won’t drag it out anymore, because I’ve waited too long to have this cunt all to myself.’’ . On the last word you felt his thick length slowly pushing into you, throwing his head back at the feeling of you around him. The pace he was going at was enough to break you fully. The feeling of him filling you as much as possible had you crying for more. In a desperate attempt to get some friction, you started grinding back against him causing his slightly curved dick to hit the right spot inside you, but slowly in and out. ‘’Chishiya please’’ you cried, burying your head into the sheets of the bed to muffle the whimpers that he was dragging out of you. He slowly started picking up the pace, each time hitting even harder and harder against you. Chishiya pulled your head back by your hair, your eyes rolling to the back of your head from the red hot feeling on your scalp that he had you in a rough grip by. ‘’Oh no y/n, you’re to call me Sir. Got it?’’ he groaned while fucking into you harder. Tears stung at your eyes, nodding as much as you could as he still controlled your head. ‘’Yes s-sir’’ As he was holding your head back and pounding into you, you opened your eyes and your heart almost stopped. Your eyes fell upon Niragi, standing right at the door leaning against it with his arms folded over his chest and he looked pissed.  The awkward part being is having locked eyes with him as Chishiya fucked you through your first orgasm, a scream being ripped from your throat from the feeling of finally getting release, but you needed more. Noticing you looking back at him he pushed himself from the doorway dropping his arms while walking over to you as Chishiya let you fall to your chest, but continuing his steady pace of pounding into you. ‘’Really Chishiya? Sir? What makes you think any part of you is sir?’’ Chishiya’s eyebrows furrowed, his hair disheveled and just snapped back at him. ‘’The part that has y/n crying because of how good I can fuck her.’’ Niragi  crouched in front of you with a look on his face that confused you. He almost looked amused. ‘’I knew it… You’re just a desperate little slut aren’t you?’’ Niragi said as he dragged his thumb along your cheek and across the tears that had run down your face from both pleasure and terror. He dragged his thumb across the tip of his tongue to taste the salty tears with a chuckle. Clinking of metal filled the room, the sound of Niragi’s clothes hitting the floor made you realise the situation you were in so you held yourself up with shaky arms that threatened to give way under you. Niragi smirked down at you as he ran his hand over the top of your head before harshly connecting the same hand to your face right after. Niragi knew exactly what you liked, and so did Chishiya as he felt you clench even harder around him as Niragi had marked your face. Knowing Niragi didn’t like to be kept waiting, you quickly opened your mouth for him to have full access to your throat. Putting his hand back into your hair, Niragi took hold of you as he pushed his cock between your lips, your throat opening up almost immediately, he basically had you trained. ‘’The only thing your mouth is good for is fucking.’’ NIragi said as he started thrusting roughly into your mouth. The timing of both men fucking you made sure you were always full, if Niragi wasn’t down your throat, Chishiya was buried in you, and vice versa. With the roughness of Chishiya’s thrusts caused Niragi’s cock to hit the back of your throat causing you to lose breath each time. They continued like this, using you at each end to their will. Niragi’s dick hit a little harder, causing your throat to close around his long length and choke. The feeling was so euphoric to Niragi he caught the back of your head and shoved your nose flush against his pelvic bone. He let out a mix of a laugh and a moan, almost sounding maniacal as he continued to ram your throat. ‘’That’s it, let daddy fuck your throat. I know you can take it’’ His words made Chishiya chuckle as he pulled out of your entrance, needing to take a break or else he would’ve cum right then. ‘’You’re so predictable Niragi… how pathetic’’ Chishiya’s words made Niragi’s assault on you stop, pulling his cock from your mouth. You coughed and spluttered trying to breathe, a task that was failing due to the burning in your core of feeling empty.  ‘’Please.. Just fuck me’’ you said breathlessly, laying back down with your hand once again travelling between your legs. Chishiya didn’t have to be asked twice, lying back against the bed he rubbed his hand over his now red cock. You didn’t hesitate moving over him and hovering above his length before he grabbed your hips and slammed you down on him. Another scream was pulled from you as he started to fuck up into you,  your hands that were once resting on his chest now by his head, holding onto his hair with your head buried in his neck as he continued to rail you. With moaning in his ear, and a mixture of your breathless voice begging for him to fuck you through another orgasm along with the sound of your broken voice repeatedly saying; ‘’sir’’ he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. You felt Niragi behind you, but didn’t pay much mind as you felt another wave wash over you. ‘’Fuck.. Yes, cum all over my dick’’ Chishiya said, somehow managing to hit a new speed as you cried out, moaning as you felt liquid rush out of you. Chishiya’s moan was sinful, he knew he was close but he couldn’t let himself cum just yet. Just as you felt the pleasure fade, you felt something cold drip on you from behind. A familiar feeling approaching as you felt one of Niragi’s long finger enter your hole that yet stuffed. The feeling wasn’t there for too long before you felt empty again, but soon that changed. Chishiya steadied his hips, realising what his enemy was now doing. You both heard Niragi moan, probably the sexiest moan you had ever heard, as your tight asshole slowly stretched to accommodate his huge dick. The pain of him shoving all of his length into your ass soon passed as Chishiya took the chance to start fucking you again. Your body went limp as both of their thrusts started to sync up, each time both as aggressive as each other. You didn’t even care that they made it into a competition, the feeling of having them both bottoming out of both of your holes was something you never experienced before, and might have just been the best. It wasn’t long after Niragi started to fuck your ass like his life depended on it, that your next orgasm washed over you. This one being so intense you couldn’t stop shaking and it felt like it never would end. More unintelligible mumbles of the words ‘’daddy’’ and ‘’sir’’ couldn’t stop falling out of your mouth. Both men enjoying the fact they broke you down finally, convinced they had literally fucked the brain cells out of you Niragi pulled you back against his chest, sinking back onto his heels so both men could continue chasing their own high. By the twitching of Chishiya’s cock inside you, you knew he was close, so was Niragi. ‘’Fuck, y/n, you’re so fucking tight, I wonder how Niragi feels about me filling his little toy up’’ Chishiya said breathlessly, causing Niragi to animalisticly growl but not speaking due to being so close to spilling himself inside you. The grey haired man’s hands reached up to grab both of your breasts, pinching your nipples as one of Niragi’s hands coming down to your front before pinching your clit a couple of times. The sounds you were making almost made both men cum on the spot. You could see the desperation on Chishiya’s face, and hear the desperation in Niragi. ‘’My little slut ready? You gonna cum?’’ Niragi moaned into your ear, one hand still rubbing your clit desperately all while biting down on your ear, ‘’daddy’s gonna fill that ass so good’’ and thats all it took. Both men sensing you clench around them, they finally were reaching their own release. Niragi dropped you on your chest on top of Chishiya before leaning over you, his hand holding himself up above you and Chishiya. One of your hands twisting into Chishiya’s hair, the other being twisted into Niragi’s hair behind you. The pleasure from the last orgasm was so intense, you could feel yourself getting light headed, you tugged on both mens hair while you buried your face into Chishiya’s neck, his hot skin becoming stained with your tears, but in a good way. Chishiya guided one of his hand to the back of your head, almost a sweet gesture, except his thrusts faltered along with Niragi’s as they both finally peaked, both of them sinfully moaning and swearing under their breaths and both finally releasing inside of you. You thought you couldn’t cum anymore at this point, but the filthy feeling of having both men fuck their cum into both your holes sent you into overdrive, your final orgasm finally rushing through you, Niragi could tell and pulled you up slightly so he could rub your clit with lightning speed causing you to squirt everywhere. As you all rode your orgasms out, Niragi was the first to pull himself from you in time to watch his cum slowly drip out of the hole he had abused for so long. You lifted yourself, barely, from on top of Chishiya and lying on your back, struggling to breathe. Already getting dressed, Niragi commented to Chishiya, ‘’See? I am better at it than you.’’ Shaking his head but not moving to get up Chishiya spoke out, his own breathing irregular too. ‘’No, I think we might need to have round 2.’’

[tenkasato]

Purple Hyacinth

Purple hyacinths, delicate symbols for sorrow, forgiveness and regret

Scenario: When all that was left was a heap of broken things, remnants of what you two once were, will you still find it to forgive him?

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x reader

Warning: slight violence, toxic relationship, swearing, mentions of cheating

It was about to rain.

"Shit," Gojo Satoru croaked. 

His voice caught him off guard. He sounded so different. So much like a person who was on the brink of dying. He lifted his blindfold and stared blearily at the overcast skies. 

What was he still doing here? He scanned the whole span of the rooftop before closing his eyes shut with a pained wince. He wanted to go see you right now. He was so desperate for you. But it hurt so bad because every time he saw your face in his mind, all he'd remember was that night he hurt you.

Satoru closed his mouth and raised his head as he savoured the feeling of being washed into illusory purity under the rain. 

The fight you had that night had been the worst. You had been screaming, and he had been yelling over your voice. His roars had become too loud that he had failed to hear you slowly succumb to silence, your eyes adapting a sheen of hatred and immense hurt. 

“Let’s break up.”

The words you whispered had been, least to say, deafening. His hands shot to your sides, pinning you down, looking feral and crazed.

“What did you say?” he had spat.

You had fixed your icy gaze at him, fury unfurling your insides as every single thing he had done to hurt you had crossed your mind. Him ignoring you. Him gaslighting you. Him taking out his anger on you. Him cheating on you. Not just once. Not twice. Not even thrice.

“You heard me.”

Him making you feel unloved, disgusting, ever so dispensable.

“This isn’t working, Gojo. Go fuck yourself because that’s all you ever know what to do.”

You hadn’t known what happened. When the sting of his slap finally sank in, you knew he had put a nail in the coffin. Satoru, upon realizing what happened, had recoiled back and stumbled, mortified with himself as he had looked down at his hand.

You had left, leaving him under the cold fluorescent light.

That night, while he had been tossing and turning in his bed, feeling the emptiness bearing down on him, he had received a call from Ieiri.

"... a car accident—" Ieiri's voice had cracked, broken words barely sinking into Satoru's head, "—currently in the ICU. Hello? Gojo? Where are y—"

If only it had been that easy to erase every pain you caused one another, like just washing the plates. If only there was a way to undo all the faults he had done, to take back all the words he never meant to say, to recall the bullet he shot that shattered your heart into a trillion pieces.

You woke up yesterday, so he's heard from Nanami. Megumi and the rest of his students had immediately bounded over to visit you, but he hadn't had the courage to walk up to your room downstairs and see the damages he himself inflicted.

As pathetic as it sounded, all he could do was stay on this rooftop and batter himself in the rain.

Satoru wiped his face furiously with the sleeves that hugged his arm. His clothes were already soaked in the rainwater. Staring straight ahead, he heaved a sigh.

The downpour suddenly stopped but he was so numb to even pay any attention. He blinked and continued to rub his hand across his face to get his senses back, but nothing was changing.

Has it stopped raining?

There was a light shuffle against the floor and that snapped him back to the world. Satoru stared over the bare feet beside him before slowly raising his gaze to meet the eyes he had been dreaming of all this time.

His throat tightened.

Your arm tensed in his gaze, the umbrella in your hand wobbling in its place. The hospital gown hung around your frame, your face covered with bandages and gauzes. Your arm was casted, hanging on the sling wrapped around your shoulder.

The distress and grief glimmering in your eyes broke his heart for the thousandth time. You swallowed hard. Then, a smile flittered across your face.

So sweet, so raw and so tormented.

"Hey, Satoru," you whispered, your voice a chorus to this rainfall, "haven't we hurt each other enough?"

He hadn't thought that just seeing you would bring him back to life. He scrambled to his feet and launched himself to you.

He barely registered your gasp, the umbrella falling out of your hand. He locked his arms around your waist and buried his face unto your abdomen. He loosened his embrace, only half-mindful of your injuries.

His heart was beating so fast he thought it'd burst.

"Sunshine," he sobbed, unrestrained, "I'm so sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry—please forgive me. I'm sorry, I—"

Wails replaced his words until nothing that came out his mouth was decipherable. And you stood there, arm around his shoulder as you, too, cried out in a mixture of relief and grief.

The wind blew around you as his sobs slowly died down to weak whimpers, his breath steadying a bit as he gazed up at you. His azure eyes were glassy, making them glisten like the ocean.

He whispered your name. “I'm sorry…"

You pushed his shoulders lightly so that you could kneel in front of him. You sniffed before laughing and wiping the snot hanging from your nose.

"This sucks," you said in a nasal tone still thick with tears as you continued rubbing your nose. "This—"

You were cut off when Satoru pulled you back into an embrace. "I hurt you. I—"

“I know," you said firmly but gently, "I know. But you're still here, and so am I. We can still see the next sunrise together."

"Will you forgive me?" he trembled, eyes downcast and shadowed.

"Let's talk inside," you said. “The doctors and nurses are probably already looking for me.”

Stroking his back up and down reassuringly, you kissed his shoulder before leaning your head on him. He hooked his arms around your torso securely, ignoring the coldness from the chilly weather.

Your warmth was all he could feel.

That was all that mattered.

I thought Purple Hyacinth was a perfect title, considering the premise of this oneshot and Gojo’s signature color. Thanks for reading!

[just-vibingfr]

Ok ok I want 23 13, and i forgot the number but it said like I’m sorry I’m such a burden so yea with jj maybank im a sucker for angst

Same! Like mood 25/8 is angst, angst, angst!

WARNINGS: Mentions of rape, suicide, self harm, close friends and family thinking you are a liar, ANGST ANGST ANGST, cursing, reader will be using They/Them pronouns.

A/N: I went really angst in this one, this will be all angst with no fluff, at all, like none. Please do not read if anything mentioned will trigger you. This is going to be one of the last OBX fics for a few weeks, I’m going to finish the other four requests I have then I will be writing some Harry Potter Marauders Era stuff! Thank you all for being so patient! I love you guys ❤️ 💕 Bold will be flashbacks!

ABDUCTED

Prompts- 13:God I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you. 23:I was kidnapped, I was r@ped! 49: I-I-I’m sorry I’m such a burden

JJ POV:

Thirteen weeks. Thirteen fucking weeks. That’s how long it’s been since they went missing. God, all I can think about is our last conversation.

“I slept with her okay?! I cheated on you and I don’t regret it. At all. You have been nothing but a pain in my ass trying to fix me. Setting me in a path to what, redemption?! Well guess what it’s never gonna fucking happen because I’m a no good, dirty, pogue! My whole family has been doomed to live here, always poor, always a bunch of dead beat losers! I cant be fixed, this is my destiny, so go fuck yourself and you pathetic hopes and dreams and morals! Because none of us liked you anyways, we were only using you to help us grieve after we lost John B. He’s back now, so we don’t fucking need you okay?! I don’t need you! I never have and I never will!”, I ranted. I’m angry at my dad, angry at myself for cheating, angry at Rafe for getting away with everything, angry at Ward for being a bastard, angry at Y/N for making me fall in love with them. I am just so angry. I didn’t mean to take it out on them, but they were there. They’ve always been there even when I treated them like shit. That’s the problem, they were there. I don’t know what to do, I’m so used to pointless hook ups, empty relationships, and abusive behavior, that when someone puts me in a freaking pedestal like I’m actually worth something I flip. I have been looking down for the past five minutes. All I know is their muffled sobs, how their eyes are probably red rimmed and bloodshot, how they’re probably pulling on their wrists like they do when they’re stressed. If I look up I might just crack. “God I wish that you had thought this the before I went and fell in love with you!”, they screamed, letting out all of their emotions. “You said I was different, you said you saw a future together! You told me you fucking loves me! You fucking piece of shit! I hope you get everything you want in the sickest sense! I hope you remember me and feel nothing but pain and guilt! I’m done with you Maybank!”,Those words cut deeper than any blade or bullet could. Being told those venomous words by the person I love most in the world hurts, but I deserve it. I hurt them more than anything, I broke them.

But, now I see truth in their words. Every time I think of them all I can feel is pain, guilt, and remorse. It was all my fault.

Y/N POV

I stumbled through woods. Safety. That’s all I can think. Safety. Safety. I kept stumbling around going anywhere, anywhere as long as it’s away from fucking Jules. That’s what they would call my kidnapper and rapist, Jules. He earned that name because he would take a piece of jewelry off of every virgin he raped. Pathetic. My lower half ached, my mind fuzzy, my wrists scarred. Thirteen weeks, that’s how long I’ve been missing. Thirteen weeks or rape and abuse. Twelve weeks of self harm. I started slitting vanes on my ankles, and the back of my knees, to feel something. Something other than the pain he caused. Self inflicted pain was a way out, a way to still have freedom and independence. Sick and twisted, I know, but it was my way of rebellion. I started to break down crying in the middle of, woods?! It these woods are familiar and I can hear the sound of the ocean. Outer Banks… Outer Banks! Thank God! I’m home. I’m safer, I’m back. I kept stumbling around, my tears making it harder to see. Up ahead I saw what looked like porch lights. “Help! Help!”, I yelled out, although the dryness of my throat mad it extremely difficult.I sped up, basically running to reach a sense of haven. Once I arrived at the house I realized where I was. The Chateau. Anywhere but here. But I needed help, and I was lucky I even found my way here. I knocked on the door, actually I pounded on the door. I was desperate. I heard shuffling and then the door opened revealing a very disheveled Pope, Kiara, Sarah, John B, and JJ.

“Y/N?! How-What-! Just- just come in!” Pope said frantically .

“What happened?!”, Kiara and Sarah said in unison. The boys nodding their heads in agreement to the question.

“I-erm- I was kidnapped, I was raped. I was held in a where house with the other girls. This bitch named Jules was the one in charge. He would take turn with the girls. It was terrifying. I thought he was going to kill me once he saw me helping one of the girls with her miscarriage. I had already had three or four myself and a few of the girls actually gave birth in that where house. The youngest to have a baby was eleven. Eleven fucking years old. I just ran out of the door one day, I got shot. It’s been a few days, maybe five or six? All I know is that I had to burn the wound to stop the bleeding. And I feel really sick right now. I think I’m going to vomit.”, I said before passing out.

I woke up in a hospital bed. The lights burning my eyes. The sheets clean. Someone had bathed me and changed my clothes. I felt clean, it felt good. Everyone scrambled to get up at my sudden consciousness. Looking at me with that pity in their eyes. That pitiful look that made me regret telling them. I didn’t want their fucking pity, I just wanted them to know I have new boundaries, and as my friends they deserved to know. The doctor came rushing in, asking me to explain what happened. I explained everything, the trauma bringing ugly sobs. I didn’t care. I had just been through hell and back, I was allowed to shed some god damn tears.

I was discharged later that day when they had diagnosed me with PTSD, anxiety, ADHD, and self harm. Yay. Weeks went by with my friends checking up on me, never leaving my side: I loved them all for it, but I could see the look of boredom in their eyes, the look that said as soon as I was good enough to be on my own they would leave me to my own devices. It hurt, everything did. I didn’t deserve to put them through this, watching me fall apart. I didn’t deserve this. I needed to end the pain. I had to. And I needed to do it now. I pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, went to the nearest flat surface and began writing.

“ I’m sorry I’m such a burden. But thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for supporting me. I didn’t really get to know you before John B and Sarah, I see that I really missed out on some good people. Kie, you have been nothing but amazing to me. I can’t thank you enough. Pope, you are like a workers mix of older brother, younger brother, and dad. It always amazes me how you can be protective as fuck, need protecting, and are always prepared with that mind of yours. JJ, I’m sorry. Sorry that we ended things on such terrible terms. You deserve the world and I couldn’t give that to you, I truly apologize for holding you back. But you did break me that night, I was going to end it then, but I was abducted. Ironic how I’m ending it now. I love you all and wish you the best! “

Love, Y/N ❤️

I folded the letter and set it on the island with the pen. Then I crawled into the tub, slit my wrists, and let the darkness take over, sweet, safe, darkness.

@hannahnikohl

[kenganparadise]

Is it ok to ask for some (nsfw) headcanons for Meguro Masaki? Like what he wants to do with his S/O or what he wants his S/O to do? (⺣◡⺣)♡* (◉___◉) Thank you very much! ♡♡♡

Thank you so much for requesting this. I’m a huge fan of your work!!! Sorry this took me so long! (I added our boy Hayami Masaki becaus I know you like him too)

⚠️ WARNING NSFW AHEAD- IT GETS NASTY⚠️

Meguro Masaki nsfw-

• he’s quite blunt with what he wants. He’ll come up to his S/O and tells them exactly how they make him feel. Tho he doesn’t really quite know how to put it into the correct words exactly.

• “hurts. Y/N you’re making me hurt.” He’d whine. This is the first time he’s done this. His S/O would be clearly confused and worried. He starts rubbing himself against their waist. His S/O would be able to catch on pretty quickly.

• normally Meguro is able to handle these things himself, he pleasures himself to the thought of his S/O quite often. But his feeling bubble over and he can’t take it any more. The words “do you want me to help, Meguro?” Is musics to his ears.

• This is probably the first time he’s felt like this. Normally fights are what get home off. Inflictions pain while also receiving. He’s finished in his pants during a couple of battles before. So this is completely new to him.

• he knows he has to be gentle with his S/O. He doesn’t really want to break them. They’re one of the only people he genuinely likes after all. Though sometimes he gets downright brutal. He can’t really help himself the first time. If his S/O tried to give him oral he’ll accidentally thrust a little too hard into their throat and comes a little too quickly. He grabs the back of their head while face fucking them.

• he’s breathing heavily when he sees his S/O undress. Hed probably help rip their cloths off. He can’t help it. He licks their whole body.

• He’d want to kiss them. He’s knows there are things normal couples do. he’s a sloppy kisser, and shoves his tongue down his S/Os throat every chance he gets. He’d want to taste every inch of them.

• it’s probably his first time having penetrative sex, right when he’s feels his S/O warmth and how tight they are he pretty much cums instantly. He actually kinda feels bad that he did. He does give a bashful apology.

• makes up for it by going down on his S/O. He finds out quickly that that’s his favorite thing to do. His S/O is going to have a hard time pushing him away from their core.

• he could go down on them forever if he could. He loves the taste of his S/O. And his tongue is so long. He’s got a major scent kink as well. He’s quite sloppy when he does do it. Juices will be dripping off his chin. He also moans soooo much when he does. He also tends to talk with his mouth full.

• his S/O will be overstimulated and sobbing once they’re able to kick him off.

• after the initial first time Meguro does learn. He does genuinely want to please his partner. He wants to make them feel as good as they make him feel. He tries to be much more gentle with his partner, it take a lot of self control, especially when their mouth is around his cock.

• he also learns some serious self discipline. He can penetrate his S/O without cumming instantly. Now he can burrow into their warmth and enjoy it even longer.

• he can get super rough. He’s both a Sadist and masochist. He gets pleasure if theres a little pain.

• HATES pulling out. Always wants to finish inside. Though if his partner doesn’t like it he’ll beg and cry and whine but he doesn’t want his beloved to be mad at him! He pulls out and cums on their belly or thigh, much to his dismay.

•he loves watching his release dripping out of them. He’ll go down on them after that, doesn’t really care that he’ll taste his own cum.

• he does have a major scent kink. He has a collection of clothing that he’s stolen form his S/O. He loves burrowing his face in their hair. He’s stolen some underwear, he’s probably used them to masturbate with.

• he likes dry humping his S/O a lot. He will hump his S/O’s leg while goes down on them. He has probably orgasmed in his pants while eating out his S/O.

• he also likes Cockwarming very much, when he has the patients of course. he’d want to spoon his S/O while buried deep inside them. He can also snuggle his face in their hair. He loves the snug tight warm feeling. Though after some time he can’t help but move around. He probably ends up cumming a few times. Makes up for this by going down on his S/O. he will not stop till they’re screaming.

Hiyami Masaki NSFW-

• very much a gentleman. He’s so kind and respectful to his S/O. The first time he and his S/O have sex he wants it to be prefect. He plans the whole day and night.

• forplay is important to him. He wants his S/O well prepped. His cock is average length, but boy is it thicc. It stretches out his S/O so deliciously.

• can be quite silly in the bedroom. He wants to see his S/O smile and laughs. He’ll tickle their sides to get them to giggle.

• likes missionary so he can see his S/O’s face. When entering his S/O he looks for any signs of discomfort. Once he’s in the clear he starts thrusting into his S/O. His thrusts are always short but quick. He ruts himself deep into his S/O.

• he prefers to cum inside his S/O. he and his S/O practice safe sex of course. if they’re not cool with it he won’t have his feelings hurt.

• this boy makes love to his S/O. The whole time he’s starring at their face, whispering sweet words of encouragement and complements. He wants them to feel loved.

• he loves kissing his S/O. He loves sweet passionate kisses with his beloved. Though when he gets close to finishing his kisses get much sloppier.

• he moans loudly when he cums. He prefers to cum inside his S/O but if they don’t like it he’ll switch up up. But he hates making a mess.

• he practically melts when his S/O tops him. He tries not to buck his hips too much when they do but sometimes he can’t control it. He love it when they get rough with him. He loves it when they use his body for their pleasure.

• always gets his S/O off. No matter what. He tries his very hardest to make sure they’re satisfied.

• loooooves going down on his S/O. And Damn is he good at to. He know that he can get them off this way. He’ll have them shaking and cumming in no time!

• aftercare is very important to him. He’ll carry his S/O to the bath and clean them up. He’ll also bring them water and make them snacks. But if the couple is too exhausted, he’s fine cuddling his S/O close to his chest and he kisses them to sleep.