#and sometimes this is pretty harmless all things considered | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ichatake · 7 months ago

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Yandere Obito and Yandere Kakashi with the same girl 👀👀👀 I loved it. Can we get a part 2 when they are older?

Request are open! Request rules here!

Part. 1 Here!

Pairing: Yandere! Obito x reader x Yandere! Kakashi

Warning: Yandere themes, obsessive behavior, slight manipulation, mature content and slightly suggestive content.

A/N: thank you for requesting a part. 2, I love it when people like my works so much they ask for a second part! I hope you enjoy it!

As Teenagers:

✧ Obito was a very charming boy around you after he had warmed up to the idea of you staying on his team for the rest of your lives. You had now become the light of his day, completely replacing Rin. It was ironic how the last thing he wanted to happen was actually the first thing he’d come to love. Sure, he missed Rin, but you were there now. He surrounds you with his presence and surrounds himself around you at all times. That means that his pictures of Rin he had so dearly kept up in his room were suddenly taken down and replaced by your lovely face. If you compared the amount of pictures he had of Rin with the ones he has of you now, you definitely win. Apart from completely revolving his life around you, he makes sure to always be there for you; asking how you are, if you need anything, if you ate, etc. He wants you to enjoy his presence as much as he loves yours, and he wants you to feel loved by him. He doesn’t hide his growing crush, and it makes a certain silver haired boy boil inside.

✧ Kakashi gets fed up with Obito easily, as always, but when it comes to you, he can’t help but let his mouth move on his own. He always tries to embarrass Obito in front of you, and make himself seem better than his friend. Although you quickly shut Kakashi off and tell him that what he had just said wasn’t nice, he rolls his eyes and mutters a small apology just so you’re not mad at him. Thankfully, you never stay mad at him for too long, which he deeply appreciates. Like how he appreciates how naïve you are sometimes, because he loves to lie. He had never lied before, but once his feelings for you began to blossom, it became a habit of his. It started off as a small, harmless lie. When you asked him if he had seen your lovely bracelet that Obito had gifted you, he said no, while stuffing his hands in his pockets nonchalantly. Your disappointed frown made him slightly smile as he clutched that stupid bracelet of yours. He could always give you a new one. From then on, he began to lie more constantly, and he couldn’t stop himself from doing so. He lied to keep you interested in him, or to make you look for him. He liked when you needed his help, and he wasn’t shy to sabotage a few things just so you asked him for help.

✧ Both Kakashi and Obito knew that they were in love with you. They hadn't mentioned it to each other, but it was pretty obvious for the both of them. At first, they didn’t mention anything about it, but as they fought for your attention, it became obvious they needed to get this sorted out. At least, that’s what Kakashi thought. The boy knew Obito wouldn't be very flexible with you, considering how possessive he was, but once he caught said boy pressing his lips onto a framed picture of you while he passed by his house, he found that as the perfect opportunity to either blackmail him or make a pact. “If you don’t want (Y/N) to think you’re a total freak, then you’ll listen to what I have to say,” Kakashi’s threat made Obito sit still and quiet. There was no way he could live with himself if you ever thought he was a weirdo! So, with much irritation, he hesitantly listened to what his rival had to say. Kakashi explained that he knew Obito had feelings for you, and unfortunately, he did too. Of course, Obito wanted to speak and argue, but Kakashi shut him off immediately. “Let’s make a deal. We don’t have to fight over her. On the contrary, let’s work together. It’s obvious you want to keep her safe just as much as I do, and I don’t want her to end up like Rin,” The mention of Rin made Obito tense. At the end of their talk, they decided to put their rivalry aside when it came to you. They trusted each other enough to ‘share’, and they were very selfish kids, so that was surprising.

✧ The boys spend all their time with you. They are there at your beck and call, and you’re glad they’re there for you! You don’t really notice how they’re unnaturally obsessed with you, so you allow weird things to happen from time to time. Like how you let them pick you up and take you home everyday. How you take food or drinks from them, never questioning if they had anything in them, because they couldn’t possibly ever put anything in your food, right? They don’t really show their weird tendencies flat out, since they’re still in denial that they’re actually doing anything wrong. They simply liked you. That’s all. This was a simple crush they developed, nothing else. It wasn’t weird that the only thing they could think about at night was you. How you would take care of them, heal them, help them, feed them. How you were so nice and gentle when it came to them. How they would try to think of different ways to make you smile, because it was the only thing they were looking forward to in the day. Your smile was contagious to them, intoxicating even. To young boys like them, this was completely normal. The most in denial was Kakashi, but to be honest, he was the one who’d act out on his impulses. As stated before, Kakashi would be willing to lie just to get you on his side. If he didn’t like someone, he’d start telling you how bad of a friend that person was because “I heard them making fun of you”. Of all people you would expect to lie, you never thought Kakashi would be one of them. So, you believed Kakashi, and cut ties with a lot of kids because of him. This was a big victory for him, because now you would look for him even more. You invited him to eat, walk, and train. Sure, you would ask Kakashi if Obito would like to go too, but his answer was always “I don’t know, I think he’s out training again with one of his clan members. Let’s just go, just the two of us,” Apart from slowly becoming a pathological liar, he also made sure to go with you everywhere, whenever he could, of course. That includes when you’re not looking. You would complain about feeling watched sometimes, and he’d try to brush your concerns off by saying “Maybe you’re being paranoid. Maybe you’re used to Obito and I walking you home that it feels weird when you don’t,”

✧ Speaking of acting on impulses, Obito had become a little self aware that his love for you was becoming dangerously weird. Despite Kakashi being in denial, Obito knew that it wasn’t normal to think about you as if he had to. He needed to know what you were doing as much as he needed to eat, sleep, and breathe. He even felt a little guilty, in contrast to Kakashi. He felt so guilty the first time he stole from you. It was a simple hair tie you always kept around your wrist even if you never wore it. You had used it as some sort of bracelet. As he got home and pulled it out of his pocket, his heart dropped to his stomach as his eyes scanned the tie. Shame ran through his body as blood rushed to his cheeks. He couldn’t believe it. He just stole from you! He was such a freak! He considered giving it back and apologizing, but he couldn’t do that! Then you would totally think he’s sick! So he decided to keep it. He promised himself he would never steal from you ever again. He doesn’t steal. He was a good kid! But, you never know where you might end up in life, and he found himself taking other things from you. Everytime he stole, he felt like a total thief, and he was. The guilt would consume him, but his desires were satisfied. So, he stole and stole and stole until stealing small things from you wasn’t enough. He was left unsatisfied, even if he had a drawer dedicated to placing all of the things he had stolen from you.

As Young Adults:

✧ Now the three of you were older, and had matured! Both Kakashi and Obito grew taller and bulkier, making them attractive young men. Meanwhile, you had also grown and developed in every way. Your personality, your face, your body. Everything changed in ways that satisfied them. To them, you were even more gorgeous than before, and they hoped you thought they were attractive as well. You see, despite them obviously crushing on you, nothing really happened throughout the years. You still considered them friends, and showed no sign of romantic interest in them, much to their dismay. However, that doesn’t mean they stopped obsessing over you. On the contrary, it only fueled their desires. Kakashi had grown an interest in very… detailed literature. The ones you wouldn’t really let children read. His desires developed and changed as he grew, and as he entered adulthood, he found himself thinking of perverted fantasies involving you. He didn’t mean to, but his mind couldn’t help wonder off on how your breast grew a little more, or how your hips became wider. He didn’t really feel guilty about it either. He told himself these fantasies and thoughts were normal for hormonal men like him. His eyes would wander on your body a little longer than usual, and when you noticed him looking at you, he would simply smile and tell you how you haven’t changed a bit. But you had. And he loved it. Now that you weren’t kids, you didn’t need them walking you home anymore. You didn’t need him to watch over you, and you were now getting missions that didn’t involve them. Although it disappointed both of them, they tried to keep their calm. Obito would think about following you while you were out on a mission, but he never did it. He considered it an insult to your skill. You were strong enough to protect yourself, right? Kakashi, on the other hand, didn’t care. He followed you on your mission to keep a close eye on you. You were weaker than him, therefore, you needed his protection. The best part was that you never noticed him. He found it to be a win-win for all parties involved, that being you and him.

✧ Kakashi wasn’t the only one with perverted fantasies, because Obito found himself waking up with a red face and sweat on his forehead while thinking back on the dream he just had about you. He’d be blushing the whole day while being with you, and when you’d ask him what was up, he’d brush it off saying it was just hot outside. What a big lie. Thanks to those dreams, he found himself sitting on the edge of his bed, hand clutching onto a piece of clothing he had slipped into his pocket the day you invited him and Kakashi to your house for your birthday. He felt disgusted at the fact he felt so aroused with you. That the simple faint scent of your perfume intoxicated him. The thought of owning your clothes without your consent drove him insane, much more than he already was. And the fact that he was holding the fabric close to his nose as his pants felt tight and uncomfortable had him questioning what he was doing. He asked himself why he acted this way, but made no effort into putting a stop to it as his hands fumbled with his belt to find peace from the heat and tension building up in his body. His thoughts would wonder what it would be like if it wasn’t your clothes he was holding, but it was you yourself. What would it feel like to have you sitting on his lap, holding onto his shoulders for dear life while you enjoyed how he made you feel? He had no idea how he could look at you in the eyes the next morning after a night full of dirty fantasies.

✧ Obito and Kakashi had also developed jealous tendencies that would annoy you at times. It was hard to deny that they liked you, at least a little more than just friends. And you didn’t mind it. You had also developed strong feelings for them, but that didn’t mean they could act as if they were your boyfriends when they weren’t. You hated the way you couldn’t talk to a guy because Kakashi would suddenly pop out of nowhere to try and slip you away from the guy. It annoyed you even more when he would start trying to insult the guy—not directly, but he would throw sarcastic and degrading comments just to see the guy’s confidence crumble. God forbid Obito ever sees you flirt with a dude either. He was even worse than Kakashi. When you mention how they should stop treating you as their girlfriend, they simply told you you were taking things out of proportions and how “The guy had been with half the village girls already,” They could stop if you wanted, but they were just being good ‘friends’. They were guys and they knew what their intentions were. You needed to believe them, but if you didn’t, that’s fine. If you wouldn’t stop talking to the guy, then the guy would just need to stop talking to you. Kakashi would make sure of it. And when you did come crying to them, saying how the guy was just a total joke and that they were right, they wasted no time in being by your side, “See? You needed to trust us. We told you,”, “At this point, the only guys you need in your life are us,” Maybe they were right.

✧ Kakashi was the one that took care of all your personal connections. He decided who you kept in your life, and who would need to leave immediately. Obito, on the other hand, took care of your emotional state. Whatever Kakashi did, it would leave you in shambles, and Obito would be there to pick up the pieces. He was well aware of what Kakashi was doing behind the scenes, I mean they both agreed on it. Obito wasn’t innocent, and you didn’t know that the two men you trusted with your whole life, were actually the ones ruining it. Speaking of ruining, you seemed to be stuck in the same rank rank ever since you became a chunin. Both Kakashi and Obito had ranked up and were currently Jonin, but you were still a chunin. You wondered why, because you were doing everything right. All your missions were completed and well executed, yet you still made no progress. You even asked the Hokage, your former teacher, why you hadn’t ranked up yet. “I’m sorry (Y/N), you're just not ready yet,” he’d tell you, making you storm off angrily out of his office. To you, your missions were perfectly executed, but the anonymous reports that would reach Minato were completely different to what actually happened. They would absolutely botch your hard work and explain how you made many rookie mistakes that belonged to a genin more than a chunin. Maybe you weren’t cut out for this. Maybe you were better working at the hospital than the field. This was highly supported by Kakashi and Obito as well “You’re one of the best medical nin I’ve seen! You should put your skills to work,” Obito would say, trying to motivate you to drop trying to complete missions outside.

✧ Let it be known that if you ever choose one of them, no you won’t. If it’s one of them, it’s both of them. They agreed on this. They both had a ‘right’ to you, so you couldn’t just choose one of them and leave the other. They had always shared you as teenagers, there was no way that would change now. They were insufferable, and they weren’t even in a relationship with you, imagine what it would be like if you actually dated them. Time was running out, and their patience was running thin. They had waited so many years for you to make up your mind, they couldn’t wait more. The more they fantasized about you, the more they craved you. Kakashi needed you to hold him, Obito needed to hold you. They needed you in every way of the word. They needed you in mind, body, and soul. They need you, and they would do anything to have you.

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koinotame · 8 months ago

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how dangerous the twst cast is as yanderes

content warnings: this is yandere stuff so plenty of relationships and mindsets of questionable healthiness. reader implied to be yuu. mentions of murder and violence (nothing explicit/graphic, but frequent. mostly not aimed at reader). most are pretty ambiguous wrt being romantic or platonic (though it’s assumed they have an at least somewhat close relationship with you). i don’t think there’s any explicit spoilers but this was written with mostly-up-to-date knowledge so maybe beware if you really want to avoid any spoilers

whole main cast is included, under the cut for length (near 4k words)! if you read ortho's section as incestuous or romantic in any other way i will shoot a laser beam at you.

fairly harmless overall ▸ i actually normally wouldn't put them together, but in either case i can't see either of the adeuce duo being too dangerous to others. yeah, they might beat someone up for getting too close to you or hurting you, but i really really can't see either of them going much farther. deuce in particular used to be a delinquent, and he does sometimes slip back into that mindset, and he does know how to beat someone up well… but he's a good boy now. your good boy. even in his delinquent phase he would've never actually killed someone, and the idea horrifies him a little too much to ever seriously consider. ace has a bit less restraint, but also a lot less experience. what he lacks in experience he does more than make up for in wit and quick learning, but… while the thought does cross his mind occasionally, he wouldn't be able to stomach actually killing someone either. he'll beat someone up if they hurt you or you ask him to though. unlike deuce, he'll probably brag about it to you if he knows your reaction would be positive.

▸ don’t you worry! your cay-kun would never kill someone! in fact, cater is very unlikely to get violent at all. when he gets jealous (which happens pretty often), he turns that bitterness inside. what do they have that he doesn’t? do you like quieter guys? is he too obsessed with magicam? do you not like the way he doesn’t let you in unless you push, because he’s too afraid you won’t like what you find and leave? is he not affectionate enough? do you not like his hair? it doesn’t matter what it is about him that you don’t like, about others that you do like. he’ll fix the problem; he’ll fix himself. he’s already used to putting on acts around others—this isn’t that different. even if it’s not him you like at this point, as long as he can stay by your side, it’ll be fine. there’s a desperate edge to his actions that’s hard to spot, but once you have is impossible to unsee. as long as you continue liking him, he’ll throw away who he is—just. don’t throw him aside once you’re bored of him, okay? keep him around forever. please. ▸ jack is another that’s fairly harmless. it’s in his nature to be overprotective, and he doesn’t see much wrong with that, but he has no issue with your friends and he’s pretty reasonable at telling apart actual threats from things like jokes. he’s much like your guard dog… or maybe he’s more like guard puppy, with the way you doubt he’d ever actually hurt anyone despite his big stature. he’s embarrassed when you tell him this, but the wagging of his tail gives away just how much he likes knowing you’re okay with—even like—his constant presence. he’s not… completely against going behind your back when someone is actually about to hurt you to deal with he issue, though. just… just occasionally, when it’s really necessary. he won’t make a habit of it. he just… doesn’t want you to see him like that. he’d never want to scare you. that’s all.

a bit less harmless but not by (too) much ▸ riddle is good and well behaved and refuses to resort to something as drastic as violence or murder, or at least he’s trying very hard to convince himself so. he’s definitely somewhat tyrannical to everyone around you even after he mellows out after his overblot, and he has no hesitation in punishing those who hurt or displease you, especially his own dormmates. even once both of you graduate, this habit of his never quite vanishes. he gets a little frantic if you show disapproval of his actions though, especially if you seem scared of him. he’s desperate to prove that he’s good and loves you and would never hurt you, and if that means toning down his ardour, he’ll try his best. the stress of possibly losing you just makes him all the more overbearing to everyone around him. he’s trying his best for you though, so… don’t you love him as much as he loves you? won’t you turns your eyes back to him and only him? ▸ kalim would never kill someone! nor would he have someone be killed. but his family's wealth and influence extends far, and anyone seeking to hurt you (or him through you) would be a fool to think otherwise. he'd never kill someone, but making sure they end up rotting in prison for the rest of their life is just doing the right thing! he might be a little blinded by his panic, sure, but— they tried to hurt you! if he's really jealous (something that doesn't happen often—he only has eyes for you, after all, so he tends to not think too much about others), it's not hard to just have them transfer. or be fired. or something. he won't tell you outright, but if you ask he sees no point in hiding it from you. if you don't react well, he gets a little frantic and insists that he really really really wouldn't ever go farther than that…! probably. ▸ epel getting into yet another fistfight for you is something you’ve grown unfortunately used to. you’re frankly convinced he outright wants you to see at this point, maybe in some misconceived idea it’ll make you think he’s tough, with the way he runs up to you like a puppy expecting praise afterwards. he’ll be torn if you fuss over him afterwards—on one hand, he wants you to think he’s tough and your coddling doesn’t really give the impression that you understand that, but it feels really, really nice when your attention is focused on only him. but as unrestrained as epel is, he’s not particularly dangerous. if you seem really put off by his actions, he might even rein it in a little (vil is glad for your cooperation, even if that wasn’t your intention). he’s more preoccupied with earning your attention and approval than he is with stuff like keeping other suitors away from you. ▸ i just think it’d be really funny if despite everything about him, rook is one of the most harmless. he’s the type of yandere to have a shrine (it’s not in his closet because he has no shame) and have his room covered in notes about you but who’d never actually kill someone. he’s also… the type who enjoys and loves everything about you. to rook, the journey is more important than the destination, and that includes you. the you on your own, the you around your friends (not that they’ll stick around too much once they notice rook), and the you around him are all different and equally worth loving. he’s not exactly shy about his stalking either, but once you get used to his constant presence, it doesn’t really get worse. maybe a little more intense, but not worse. he’s fine with pretty much any way you want to treat him, too—whether you treat him like a beloved pet or a plaything or act like you don’t know or notice him, he’ll love you all the same. forever.

holds themselves back… but not because of ethics ▸ when trey thinks about the future he wants with you, he allows himself to imagine what it would be like to be so wholly engrossed in each other that everything else might as well not exist. unfortunately, the two of you live in real life and not in a fairy tale, so he’s settled for the idea of eventually settling down and growing old with you. it’s… not entirely ethics that holds him back. he’s aware that most of the urges he gets when he sees you around others or when he sees you get hurt in someway are immoral, and he reigns himself in. aside from some people in your life suddenly finding it odd how the ever dependable senior suddenly doesn’t seem to like them much and has been giving them the cold shoulder, most people are very unlikely to realise there’s anything off about trey… including you. just let him be your normal (if fairly fussy) boyfriend, okay? and if he occasionally slips a bit of a sleeping potion into your food and masks the taste with his unique magic so you end up staying the night just so he can spend a little more time with you… that can be his little secret. ▸ it's definitely not ethics that holds ruggie back, but it would be a serious problem if he gets caught killing someone. or even just gets particularly violent with someone else. he'd do it in a heartbeat, especially for you (especially if you asked him), don't get him wrong, but, well— if he goes to jail, he's fucking his family over. if he goes to jail, he won't be able to provide for you in the future—or have any sort of relationship with you. his resolve might waver if you were to actually ask, but even then he’s determined to stick to actions he can reasonably get away with. it's not uncommon for him to use laugh with me to embarrass any guys he thinks are getting too close to you though, and it's not too hard to be discreet with his unique magic when someone really deserves to fall face down a flight of stairs. or three. oopsie. odd they don't remember it, huh? well, he had nothing to do with that. ▸ jamil is a bit more restrained. murder is fine (it’s definitely not his first resort, but it’s there as an option if he really needs it—he did kind of try to kill five people, even if it was during his overblot), but using snake whisper is just so much more convenient… most of the time. due to his position as a servant of kalim, he has to carefully consider any actions he takes unless he wants there to be dire consequences for his family. unfortunately for him, this means he can’t just beat up anyone getting too close to you no matter how much he may feel like it. his unique magic does work well for him here though—and he’s not opposed to using more force if there’s a good reason (like impressing you and getting complimented by y—ehem. making sure your bullies won’t bother you again). the one person he’d rather not use his unique magic on is you. what he likes so much about you is that you’re choosing him of your own volition, and that’s worth more than any force could get him.

not the worst, but… ▸ azul tries really, really hard to keep everything he does behind your back, well. behind your back. he doesn't usually get his own hands dirty, but it would be a serious problem if you found out about the students he's been tricking into unfair contracts just because he got jealous. and it'd be one thing if it ended there, but more than that… if anyone hurts you, the tweels haven't amassed a certain reputation for nothing. if azul’s this fond of you, there’s a very high chance they’re familiar with you as well—and even if they weren’t, azul being jealous enough to send them after people that aren’t even remotely threatening your relationship is amusing enough for them to comply. he won’t go too far though, no matter how envious he may get. ruining someone’s reputation, having the twins beat them up or tricking them into unfair deals is one thing, but even someone like azul wouldn’t resort to cold-blooded murder. ▸ remember when vil, pretty lucid, tried to poison neige? yeah. with his unique magic and social standing, it would be really easy to get rid of anyone causing you issues. of course, with you being aware of his unique magic, he’d have to be careful to make sure you don’t realise, so it’s something he’d reserve for only actual emergencies. it’s also a lot easier to abuse his influence and fame to keep others away from you, whether it’s by threatening them himself or getting others to do his dirty work for him. when it comes to you and keeping your attention on him, he finds it much more rewarding to keep working on himself to meet your standards and doting on you even much than he already does. keep your eyes on him and only on him, won’t you? he’ll make it worth your while. ▸ idia, as a yandere, is incredibly desperate. he’s already perfectly content (well, not perfectly, but content enough) to just watch you through his screen and maybe chat with you online (with your anonymous pal who you definitely don’t know irl, of course), so if he gets lucky enough to be with you for real, there’s very little he won’t be willing to do to ensure it stays that way. in practice this means trying to appeal to you more than anything else; if you seem even the slightest bit unhappy with him, he’s desperately trying to fix it immediately. do you think he’s too offputting? he’ll cover his mouth and hair and— are you mad because he tried to convince you to ditch your friends and just stay with him again? he’s sorry! he doesn’t have an excuse, he’s just scared that you’ll realise you could do so much better and don’t like him that much after all. sometimes he thinks about how he definitely has the resources for more forceful and permanent measures, but then you smile at him, or tell him his smile is pretty, or run your fingers through his hair, or laugh at a comment he made and his mind goes blank and gives him a 404 error. there’s no way he could ever give that up just for some measly certainty… though the same can’t be said for those who he gets too jealous of or those who hurt you. not that you need to know that.

not needlessly violent ▸ sebek is… very enthusiastic about the things he dedicates himself to. this includes you. if you thought his devotion to malleus was excessive, it’s even worse when it comes to you. while he has no personal issues with fighting if it means protecting you (whether that protecting includes only actual threats is debatable), he takes pride in his position as malleus’ retainer. this means that no matter how he feels, he has to consider how his actions would make briar valley and his lord look. he also doesn’t really get jealous. instead (and this is almost worse), he has his own idea of how everyone else should treat you and he does get aggressive with others if he doesn’t think they’re treating you right. you deserve a heavy amount of respect and he finds it very aggravating when others don’t give you that (see: treat you like a regular person). he’s not subtle either—if anything, going behind your back on this would go against his values. he wants to be useful to you!!! he wants you to know how much he cares and how you’re superior and the one with all the power in this relationship!!! the good thing is he listens to everything to ask of him, no matter how ridiculous he finds you insisting you prefer being treated casually by your friends and peers. ▸ silver, while less outwardly enthusiastic, is no less devoted. he doesn’t really get jealous (there’s a dull ache in his chest when he sees you with others and thinks about the possibility of someone being more important to you than you are to him, but that’s not jealousy, right?), and he’s fairly realistic about what counts as a threat to you and what doesn’t. the problem is that as soon as something crosses that threshold, he’s drawing his wand (or baton. or sword. he’s trained and prepared with all three). it’s almost scarier than if he were enjoying it, because you have absolutely no clue how far he’s willing to go for your safety—or if he even has any limits when it comes to you. he has a rather twisted view on relationships, and that extends to you. you’ve been so kind and accommodating and caring, and he needs to repay you for that. he’s insistent on serving you, because his entire self worth (and by extension any care you’ve gracefully granted him) relies on being useful. also doesn’t really see himself as your proper equal, though he’s less aware of this compared to sebek, and also listens well to just about anything you ask of him. if it’s for you, he’d do anything. ▸ you have a very different definition of "not needlessly violent" than lilia, but it’s at least true he doesn’t go around picking fights. he's not bothered at all by baby chicks clinging too close to you. if anything, he might pop into the conversation and agree with them—you are great and wonderful and adorable and so much more! it makes the conversation kind of awkward, and whoever you were talking to might not seek you out as much afterwards, but beyond teasing you there's never any indication that he goes any further. of course, violence is something he’s been very accustomed to over his long life, so when someone actually hurts you he has no issue with getting the message across in a more… drastic way. as soon as he's done, he's right back to coddling you. they won't be repeating the same mistake again, so don't worry too much about it and stick close to him from now on, okay?

very needlessly violent ▸ violent probably isn’t the best way to describe leona, but he doesn’t hold back when it comes to you. what, you think he’s just going to sit back and let you go? you’re the best thing that’s happened to him, like hell he’s going to not put in the proper effort in keeping you. …even if you’re not sure if you entirely agree with the sentiment. he gets jealous very often, so it’s common to see him glowering and scaring off anyone he deems too close to you. there’s no need to go further when he knows they’ll leave you both alone afterwards, but the threat only works as well as it does because he has both the magical prowess and social influence to make good on his promises. he’ll insist he doesn’t see them as threats so much as pests hanging around and leeching off of you, but there’s some part of him deep down that’s scared you’ll decide you like someone else better after all. he’s not sure he could take even you leaving him. any actual danger to you is also dealt with quickly, and while he doesn’t want to threaten you into it, you won’t have an easy time abandoning him even if you try. you were the one who wormed your way into his life—you don’t get to leave now. ▸ yeah. lol. the tweels are very, very needlessly violent. perhaps not the most Dangerous in the grand scale, but almost definitely some of the most unpleasant. for their victims, at any rate—though they do occasionally (or not so occasionally) nearly give you a heart attack. they’d never seriously harm you though… probably. or actually kill anyone. right…? floyd tends to be the most immediately dangerous. he’s quick to turn to violence (and to get a little too into it) when you’re involved, even more than usual. someone’s bothering you? someone’s getting a bit too close to you in his opinion? you just want him to? you’re not paying enough attention to him and he knows this’ll get your focus back on him, where it should be? :) he’s not too hard to pacify, at least when it’s you offering to let him rest on your lap or offering to spend the whole day with him. jade is usually clocked as less dangerous than floyd, but. well. you know that line he says when he ruminates on how he’d react if betrayed? yeah. unlike floyd, who’s very open about his misdeeds, you’re not actually sure what jade does behind your back. you don’t want to know. the way some people in your life pale and flee at the sight of you, the way you don’t see some of them again at all, and the way jade smiles when this happens tells you all you need to know. what would happen if you betrayed him? fufu, you’d never do that so there’s no need to worry about it. ▸ didn't he attempt to blow up the school once… 💀 yeah, as cute as ortho is he's not exactly built with too many stop guards. the good news is he's easy to dissuade! the bad news is he's also very quick to escalate to really ridiculous levels. you're his older sibling, it's only natural he'd want to protect you! are you sure you don't need him to blow them up? chances are the threat alone worked well enough to deter anyone from messing with you again. you might want to have a conversation with idia about limiting some of ortho's abilities though because his enthusiasm… is a little very concerning… he does get a little jealous occasionally, but it's much easier to insert himself in the conversation and steal your attention that way. isn't your little brother cute? won't you focus some more on him? please?

▸ malleus is… malleus. violence isn’t his first resort, largely because it just… doesn’t need to be. he’s one of the five most powerful mages in the entire world. that title alone is enough to scare off anyone who’d mean to hurt you or is getting too close to you, so he rarely has to intervene in the first place. he also doesn’t mind you having other friends (though he does get lonely in your absence… make sure to make it up to him afterwards), so he really only steps in when you’re in danger. he’s not particularly worried about getting caught by you, because he’s so out of touch that it doesn’t occur to him that you may not appreciate him turning anyone who hurt you into ashes. if anything, he enjoys showing off how capable of keeping you safe he is. he’s defending you, who he cares about most in the world; why would that upset you? if you try to spin it as being worried about him getting into trouble for killing someone, he’ll be very pleased you’re worried about him instead. the only thing that would crack his calm attitude is any sort of reminder that he will long, long outlive you… but it’s best not to dwell on that. fret not, he won’t ever let you go.

#yandere #yandere x reader #x reader #twst #twisted wonderland #yandere twst #yandere twisted wonderland #i. am NOT tagging everyone #sorry for the awkward line breaks. the editor has it out for me specifically

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massiveharmonytiger · 1 year ago

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So I think Gabe's portrayal was really intelligently done in the show and I'm pretty dismayed at the negative reactions. I'd argue that TV needs more portrayals of abusers that seem harmless and victims that make efforts to advocate for their own agency because that is what abuse often looks like in the real world. Yes, sometimes abuse is as in your face as with Gabe's introduction in the book version (which the show was still pretty true to, I'll discuss that below) and the other portrayals we've seen on TV, abusers being explicitly threatening or violent, victims cowering and showing visible distress, all that usual, tropey stuff. However, I think more education is needed on all the ways abuse is subtle, because this misunderstanding and this view of abuse as this black and white thing is often the reason so few victims get help, so many abusers get away with it and so many of the people around the victim and abuser, at best, are surprised when the find out what's really been happening, and at worst, defend the abuser because they're so harmless, nice, upstanding, pick your adjective and there's no way they're capable of that.

Source: https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/the-silent-ways-abusers-control

I feel like a lot of the fandom has already fallen into this trap somewhat. Gabe from the TV show is too nonthreatening, bumbling, pathetic, silly, idiotic, nowhere near scary enough to warrant getting petrified by Medusa's head. He doesn't look like an ABUSER. And yet we're confronted with so many markers of abuse in that scene.

Gabe is harmless…

And yet he's verbally abusive to outsiders. The guy that leaves as Percy is arriving has experienced an interaction with Gabe that warrants Percy apologizing for Gabe's actions only for him to apologize back because he gets to leave, Percy doesn't. He's concerned. Sure, Gabe is fat shaming and yelling about eating fruit at the moment. The absurdity of the topic doesn't make it any less inappropriate or abusive btw, because its about the abuser having any excuse to display their dominance and power over you even if the subject matter is batshit. Ever see cases where one person in the relationship (usually a man) will police the other's clothing (usually a woman) because it's too revealing, too tacky, too whatever. That's abuse.

Gabe is harmless…

And yet he's verbally abusive towards Percy. He sarcastically greets him with the cruel nickname "genius" and immediately picks a fight with him. Percy refuses to engage because he knows, from experience, what being goaded looks like. Wrap your head around that. Kids older than him are out there having catfights and making stupid "your mom" jokes, but this infant has so much experience facing conflict, he already knows what steps to take to steer away from that kind of drama and stay in safe territory. He only engages a bit when he hears about Gabe answering Sally's phone. Anyone who's answered a friend or partner's phone before will probably consider Percy's anger and indignation a little bratty and unwarranted. The issue here is that Gabe is someone who ignores boundaries. The issue isn't that he answered Sally's phone, the issue is that he very likely did it without permission. Based on Percy and Sally's reactions (Percy is angry, Sally is resigned), he's someone who's regularly done stuff like look through Sally's phone or purse without her permission. Percy makes it clear that this is not okay, and he gets dismissed. Gabe just answers "whatever's ringin'" and Percy is made to look like the one overreacting. This is what abusers do. They're never in the wrong. And then, the cherry on top of the blue icing, he blames the victim. "What're we doing Percy, every time." Gabe's the one who picked the fight, but by the end of it, Percy's the one being blamed. This is so commonplace and anyone who's been through this knows how maddening it can be. This is such a short interaction but they pack so much into it.

Gabe is harmless…

And yet we find Sally sitting outside in the rain on the balcony, as if she's trying to ground herself after a traumatic experience. As if she's trying to bring herself into the present and not dissociate because when Percy arrives she needs to be there for him. She can deal with the Gabe stuff AFTER Percy is safe. I'll get more into Sally's interaction with Gabe in Part 2 because a lot of people were confused by the fact that she was so firm with him. There's an explanation, I promise.

A lot of people also expressed concern that we wouldn't see Gabe's truly monstrous side before he gets petrified but from what I can see, the shows been making great use of flashbacks and exposition, so I'm pretty sure this will be addressed. Percy and Sally are the heroes. It would be counterintuitive for the show to establish that and then not give them a blatant cause for turning Gabe into stone.

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians #sally jackson #gabe ugliano #tw abuse themes

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gyuzgrl · 10 months ago

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Sweat for me ||kmg||

Summary- Mingyu's hot. You're hot. Surely a night alone at the gym, sweating and panting together, would sit with you just fine, right?

Mingyu's body is undeniably sculpted. Everyone knew that. What they didn't know, however, is that his impressive physique was all thanks to you- his workout partner. Had it not been for you, he would've lost all his motivation to hit the gym in the first place. After all, who doesn't want to get hot and sweaty with a pretty girl like yourself?

For over a year now, you and him had met up almost every day at 9 am sharp, outside your company-provided dorm. He'd have his car parked in front of your building, waiting outside your door as you invited him in for a quick protein shake. You'd chat over 'breakfast' for a bit, gossiping about the employees and your co-workers, sometimes even indulging in a bit of harmless flirting as you spoke. (not harmless, you had fallen hopelessly in love with him)

Today wasn't going to be any different, you thought. That was, of course, until your phone rang beside you, lighting up with his contact name instantly.

"hello?"

"hey," he breathed, his tone somewhat troubled.

"what's wrong gyu? "

You were worried. He never called at night. Hell, as idols that's when you worked the most- practicing in the dance studio or in the recording room until you saw the sun creeping up around you and finally decided to head back home.

"nothing I just- I need a distraction and I was wondering if you wanted to workout"

"hm? yeah okay I'm in the studio right now, I'll be up in ten," you sighed "tell me what happened?"

"yeah," he whispered. "I'll tell you"

Hanging up, you gathered your things, shoving your notepad and pens into your bag as you headed to your locker. Luckily, you had a spare set of gym clothes which you changed into quickly, mind running over all the possibilities as to what could've gone so wrong to have Mingyu this upset. Either way, you were on your way to see him, hair tied into a neat high ponytail, in your white gym set- a sports bra and some biker shorts that hugged you in all the right places.

Trembling slightly, you opened the glass door to the gym, unsure why you felt this shaky. You'd met him a million times before.

Fuck it was just Mingyu. The guy who eats all your food and picks you up every morning. The guy who whines about how tired he is and how his body aches from all that dancing. The guy who eyes you up and down wordlessly whenever he sees you, tensing his jaw as if to contain something.

Hold on- what?

It was late. Too late for any other Hybe artist to be working out at the gym. Too late for your trainer to oversee your progress. Too late for you and Mingyu to be alone like this.

He spotted you right away, eyes lighting up instantly.

"you came" he said, his voice so gentle it made you weak.

"you called," you whispered under your breath, but he seemed to have caught what you said. You noticed this and instantly moved to cover up any traces of what you said.

"let's uh, let's get down to business, shall we?" your voice filled the suspiciously short silence, "what's the matter gyu?"

He let out an airy laugh, sounding almost exasperated.

"my stupid manager's on my ass again about posting on Instagram."

You let him continue, nodding along as you guided him to sit on one of the benches behind.

"he wants me to post, for the lack of a better word, sluttier pics. like abs and arms and all. apparently, the fans love it and we kinda need to do well with this comeback. he's even considering having me go shirtless- completely on display in the upcoming music video." He sounded tired. So tired.

"he's really throwing you out to the wolves, huh," you patted his thigh sympathetically, "I get how that could make you uncomfortable... it really sucks how people treat you like something to be ogled at just because you're hot"

You pause. He quirks a brow.

"I mean uh, because they think you're hot" you blurt, internally cursing yourself for opening your stupid mouth.

He's quiet for a second before a slight smile plays at his lips- god his lips are gorgeous.

"what about you," he leans into your face, just inches away, "do you think I'm hot?"

"what? yes- I mean no- I mean yeah? no." you stutter, "uh, not rea-"

His laughter cuts you off, and you want nothing more than for the ground to swallow you whole.

"cute" he mutters, "do you wanna get started? I'm not upset anymore but there's so much... pent-up energy, you know?"

His tone takes on a sultry note as he says that last bit, and you take a sharp breath in. You agree wordlessly and head over to stretch.

"I'm already done cause I just got done with dance rehearsals, but I can help stretch you out, hm?"

You freeze momentarily, unsure of what you'd just heard. God your mind was taking a filthy, filthy turn.

Mingyu isn't stupid. He's aware of what his words mean. But seeing you all flustered gets him so riled up, he can't help it.

"y-yeah, you can help me stretch gyu"

Cringing at how you stuttered, you grab a yoga mat and unfurl it onto the wooden floor.

"let's maybe try something new today, yeah?"

He stands behind you, arms resting on your hips, as he pushes your thighs back- straightening them against his own.

"try to touch the mat" he says gently, one hand leaving your thigh to place light pressure on your back.

You thanked your lucky stars you were flexible, cause the lower you went, the more your ass pushed into his groin. He didn't seem to mind it either, with the way he kept pushing, till your palms touched the spongy surface of the mat.

Trying to stand up, you were met with a firm hand holding you in place. A surprised 'hm?' leaves your lips, and he grins at you, the handsome devil.

"hold" he whispered, staring at your perfectly bent form in the mirror up ahead. This position looked unnecessarily sexual- like he was taking you from behind, for all the world to see. You thanked the universe for leaving the gym empty, and wordlessly stayed in place, pushing yourself closer into him.

"10, 9, 8..." he counted, going painfully slow, gritting his teeth.

"...3, 2..."

You waited eagerly for the last number, thighs tensing under his touch, tightening with the stretch, but it never came.

"mingyu-" you start, but it comes out a little more strained and desperate than usual. Your face goes red.

"what was that?"

You kept your mouth shut, not trusting your vocal chords to hold their own in this... sticky situation.

"we're done, I think you're good, you seem uh, flexible enough"

Your head spins as he lifts you back up, pressing your back flush against his chest. His breath tickles the top of your ear- oh my god he's teasing you.

Not wanting to give in so easily, you stepped away and grinned at him.

"what's first on the list?"

"bench press," he says.

"yes sir," you smile, dropping in the honorific to test the waters.

And boy, oh boy are they tested.

Mingyu feels his cock twitch at your words, the length pushing against his boxers ready for action. Clenching his jaw, he follows you to the bench, lying down on the cool black leather after setting his weights on either side. He lifted heavy. That was for sure. You could barely deadlift what he pressed, but the variation in strength turned you on in a way you couldn't even comprehend.

"don't let me die" he usually says, before he starts his set, but tonight, his words are a little different.

"you'll kill me if you keep staring like that"

That alone is enough to snap you out of your trance, and you realize that you've been staring daggers into him, thinking about how strong he is.

"like what?" you grin, steadying yourself behind him.

He huffs, glaring up at you, and starts lifting the bar up above his head.

Your eyes are trained on him, ready to offer support when he's at his limit. The first few movements come easy to him, and you begin to wonder if he's already ready to press even more. His arms tense deliciously under the weight of the bar, and you observe his veins popping out along his forearm and on the back of his hand. Damn him and those beautiful, thick arms.

You couldn't help but notice his fingers too- how thick and long they were, how they curled around the bar so easily, how they'd fill you up so good if you just let him.

Licking your lips, you gaze back down at him.

He groans as he pushes the bar up, arms tensing even more now. The sound he makes is undeniably sexy. From the back of his throat, from deep within his chest. You feel your panties dampen in response and you swallow thickly, now somewhat nervous about the whole ordeal.

Fuck, you've barely even begun.

Another groan from him sends your mind ablaze with images of him hovering above you, holding his weight on those sturdy arms as he pounds into you relentlessly, making the same sounds he made just now. Your cheeks feel hot. Your body feels hot.

Fucking hell, he's hot.

Looking up at you, Mingyu seems to take notice of the way your face is already so flushed. He smirks, placing the bar back up, and lifts himself off of the seat.

"your turn, doll" he says, his voice breathy and low.

You're so taken aback by how quickly he's done, that you can barely process the pet name he's used. Sure, he calls you angel and darling and sweetheart and doll and everything under the sun on any normal day, and sure, they sent butterflies fluttering around your insides on any normal day, but this- this for some reason made its way straight down to your pussy.

Your core ached for him.

"huh? my turn? yeah my, my turn"

He stifled a laugh and brought your weights over, replacing his own.

"thanks gyu"

"alright, bring it up," he instructed, staring down at you.

Your arms gave out after the eleventh circuit, and you let out a forced breath, alerting his attention.

"c'mon doll, gimme four more," he soothed, "you can do it, I know you can"

His hands hovered under your aching elbows, as he applied the tiniest bit of pressure to help you.

"mingyu I can't-" you whimpered, "it's too much"

His eyes flashed over with desire before he caught himself and shook his head sternly.

"I've got you, okay? Just a bit more"

You whimpered your way through the last three, and by the end of it, you could barely feel your arms.

The gym was still empty, save for the two of you. The staff had left, and the idols were either lost in dance rehearsals or at home. You had the place all to yourselves. That, coupled with the fact that it was painfully clear that you and he both desired each other, made it hard for you to prevent yourself from soaking through your panties.

Mingyu did two more rounds, which you continued to assist, and you worked on glutes after.

He happened to notice that your posture was off when you were squatting- probably because of how sore your arms were, and without hesitating, his hands made their way once more to your hips.

"what are you-"

"you can go lower, can't you?" he rasped, his grip firm as ever, "and you can keep that back straight too."

You nodded, barely suppressing the whimper that threatened to spill out of your mouth.

"as pretty as it looks arched, I'd rather you didn't hurt yourself, hm?"

You were at your limit. Your mind went blank, and the dampness between your legs spread to your inner thighs. Praying that it wouldn't show through your white bottoms, you squatted down again, with his hands on you, hips following wherever he guided them.

"there we go" he whispered, dangerously close to your neck.

Your body shuddered, goosebumps trailing along all over your skin, and finally, finally, he seemed to acknowledge your state.

"are you cold?" he teased, knowing damn well you were boiling away inside.

You shook your head and stepped away, letting his touch linger on your waist for a second too long.

Eyes burning with red-hot desire, Mingyu stared you down in the mirror, watching your every move. The flush of your cheeks was a telltale sign of how flustered you were, and the goosebumps told him of the effect he had on you. The avoidant, wordless behaviour though, he was confused by.

He knew how he felt from the moment he saw you. Gorgeous as you were, you were fucking fiery too. That smart mouth of yours has kept him up at night for god knows how long, and finally, he intended to do something about it. Your feelings for him grew clear as day over time, and he made it his goal to worship you. But tonight, you seemed so... hesitant. It took him by surprise. Almost as if he was expecting you to crumble and give in instantly.

"y/n,"

Your shoulders tensed as he called your name from across the room, nervousness painfully evident in your stance.

"was it too much?" he asked.

"no, I just- I'm just feeling kinda tense, is all"

You waved him off, turning away to turn off the lights as you left.

He stalked his way behind you, just as the room went dark, and placed his firm hands on your shoulders.

"this any better?" he asked, the low timbre of his voice vibrating along your ear and neck as he massaged soothing circles into the tight muscles of your back.

Fuck it felt good. So good.

"mhm," was all you could manage in response, as you bit back a moan- albeit unsuccessfully- when he pressed harder into your skin.

There you were, shrouded in darkness, sighing and moaning into the open air helplessly as his hands worked their magic into your back. They traveled up to your neck, soothing the spot right below where your hair ended, and instantly your hand shot up to your mouth, muffling a moan that you're sure he's heard.

His fingers halt for a second, and something snaps in him.

"don't you dare hide those pretty sounds from me"

Your pussy flutters at his words, clenching down again, unfortunately, around nothing.

"please-" you whimper, unable to hold yourself together any longer.

The arousal sopping through your shorts was unbearable. He turned you around to face him, his eyes darkening by the second. Unable to hold his gaze, you lower your head, opting instead to look at his chest.

"please?"

Hooking a long digit under your chin, he tilted your head up towards him once again. The sheer intensity of his stare left you aching for him. Need filled you like water, and your breathing turned shallow.

"what do you want, doll?" his voice is smooth and sultry.

A pathetic whimper leaves your lips, and the corners of his curl up into a teasing smirk. He knew what you wanted. Him. But god did he yearn to hear you say it.

"c'mon angel, where'd that smart mouth go? always fucking bossing me around, saying whatever you want, like nothing could ever faze you- but here we are. I've barely even touched you and you look this fucking spent already- jesus"

"I-" you started, chest heaving at his words, "fuck Mingyu please just- God please touch me"

He licks his lips, the same shit-eating grin plastered on that beautiful face of his, and tilts his head.

"there we go, sweetheart... all you had to do was ask,"

He inches closer, stepping forward tantalizingly slow- like he's teasing to see if you can hold out. With each step, your eyes gloss over with desire, with lust, and you want nothing more than to lunge at him and suck deep red marks all over his gorgeous physique.

You whine when he bends down, teasing you with a soft kiss on your nose, and another on the corner of your mouth. Just as you were ready to complain and demand that he kiss you straight, he slips a hand to cup the side of your face, thumb locked on your temple while the other digits secure themselves in your hair, and kisses you nice and slow.

You're frozen for a second, unable to process the gentle need in the way his lips moved against your own- so tender yet so deep, it could almost pass off as a confession of love. You don't let yourself get too wrapped up in the thought, trying not to get ahead of yourself. For all you knew, he was just horny and in need of a quick fuck.

"hey" his voice is soft, like he can hear your thoughts, and you want nothing more than for him to kiss you again.

"hi" you whisper, breathlessly.

"let's get you home, yeah?"

He pats your head, smoothing out the disheveled strands, and kisses your forehead. You're at a loss for words, once again, as his actions take you by surprise. You thought this would end with you and him fucking on one of the benches or on the floor, but he was taking you home?

"do you not want me?" your voice is small. It pulls at his heartstrings painfully so and his expression softens.

"I want you more than anything. I mean it. But not like this."

The slight furrow in your brows makes it easy for him to read your confusion, and he continues.

"I want to worship you. Properly. This is no place for that, don't you agree?"

This man isn't real. He can't be, come on. There's no way he looks that good, talks the way he does, AND wants to what- "worship" you? Your mind reels with the weight of his words, and for a second, you let yourself slip into the possibility that maybe, just maybe, he feels for you the way you do him.

Maybe, he's in love.

A year of 'friendship' will do that to a girl...

"gyu I-"

"let's talk at home, okay doll?"

You nod dumbly and let him lead you outside to his car.

You'd been in here a countless number of times, but now? With the faint glow of the moon on his sweaty skin and the desperation in his eyes, as he rushed to get you home, you're on top of the world.

His hand reaches over to squeeze your thigh when he sees it bounce up and down, reassuring you instantly to soothe that burning mind of yours. When you look over, you his side profile- illegally handsome, by the way- and sigh. 'This is nice' you think to yourself, letting go, letting yourself be loved however he shows it.

A few minutes pass, his hand leaves occasionally to change gears, but always finds its way back, inching higher and higher each time. Daringly you shift forward and his fingers graze the space between your legs, which earns a sharp groan on his end.

"I can feel it through your shorts goddamnit" he grits, sliding his fingers all over, cupping your pussy through the fabric.

He sucks in a deep breath, releasing it shakily, and mutters a quick "thank god" when he pulls into your apartment. He yanks his seatbelt off, running over to your side of the car, before opening your door and scooping you into his arms- bridal style.

You yelp, but he quickly silences it with a kiss, kicking the door closed as he clicks on the lock.

"put me down" you giggle, snuggling into his chest like a puppy does with its favorite human. He rolls his eyes and pulls you closer, protectively, and carries you into the elevator.

The familiar ding hits your ears and he steps out still carrying you- and walks over to your door.

"keys" he groans, "I need the keys"

"they're in my pocket"

"no problemo"

His hand slides from under your knee to the curve of your ass, feeling around for something sharp, unable to find any such object.

"they're not here"

"check again"

And his hand begins it's search, cupping and squeezing your ass, earning a short-breathed chuckle from you.

"doll, they're not-"

He stops when he sees the playful grin on your face as you dangle a set of keys in front of his eyes.

"naughty fucking girl you are" he scoffs, hoisting you up again as he unlocks the door.

You're in. Inside the house. At night. Alone with Mingyu.

Suddenly everything becomes real, and you look at him, smiling down at you softly.

"are you sure about this?" you ask him, meekly.

"hey, that's my line"

You laugh, smacking his chest and let him carry you to the bedroom. The fact that he already knew his way around made you blush, funnily enough. The familiarity made this feel like you were his and he was yours already.

He placed you on your bed, delicately like you were going to break if he wasn't careful. His eyes ran over your body shamelessly, but the look he adorned was that of pure adoration and awe. It made you nervous.

"you'll kill me if you keep staring like that," you say, teasing him slightly, recalling the comment he made at the gym.

"like what" he grins, and you feel a smile tug at your lips.

He kneels in front of the bed and slips off your sneakers one by one, deft fingers untying the intricate knots on the surface. As he slid them off he made sure to graze his fingertips against the sensitive skin of your ankle ever-so-slightly, leaving goosebumps in the path they traveled. Once they were off, he tossed them aside, looking intensely at you to gauge your emotions.

The breathlessness evident on your face was validation enough, and he continued.

Taking hold of one of your feet, he presses light, feathery kisses on your inner ankle, while his other hand reaches up to interlock your fingers with his. Relishing in the way your breath hitches when his lips connect with the neglected skin, he places one last soft kiss before crawling onto the bed, slowly, teasing you knowing damn well how badly you need him.

The movements are slow but intentional, each motion bringing him closer and closer, until he hovers over you, caging your body under his.

"god you're beautiful" he blurts, unable to control himself. You turn away bashfully, only to have your face tipped back towards his.

"don't hide," your expression softened at his words, "not from me, okay angel?"

A smile plays at your lips and you pull him in by the collar of his shirt, locking lips once again. He groans into your mouth as your hands roam the broad surface of his back, nails digging into the grooves of his sculpted muscles.

"fuck let's get this off, yeah?"

Slowly, fuck he's such a tease, he lifted your sports bra off, 'accidentally' running his thumbs over your nipples as he did.

Your body jolts at the sudden stimulation, pleasure running down your spine like electricity. The breaths you didn't realize you were taking for granted all this while suddenly seemed laborious under his touch, and your mouth slipped open to ease your lungs. Sweet, sweet oxygen. The burning in your lungs seems to cool for a second, and you sigh.

"gyu" you mumble, watching him toss the cloth aside.

His gaze, now back on you, falters when he sees your bare chest. Brows scrunching slightly in the middle, he takes in a shaky breath as his limbs carry him to you as if under some sort of spell.

"oh my god" he breathes, "oh my fucking god- you'll be the death of me"

Feverishly, his hands slide up your body, cupping your breasts in his large hands. He kneads them, climbing back on top of you to capture your lips in his once again. A soft moan escapes you when he tugs your lower lip, nipping at the tender flesh, quickly slipping his tongue into your mouth. He was a rapper. Obviously, he's good with that damn tongue of his. You hated how your core tightened from just kissing alone- fuck if he continued you'd probably cum right then and there, moaning into his mouth as he swallows up your sounds greedily.

"mmm fuck"

Your back arches when he moves his lips to your jaw, trailing kisses up to your ear before he whispers-

"what do you want from me"

"you know what I want from you"

"do I?" he teased, gently grazing his teeth along the shell of your ear.

You could hear your heartbeat in your ears, a dull thud sounding over and over, a familiar song you heard long ago. His lips press soft kisses where his teeth left off, and you could swear this was the end for you. Mingyu seemed so aware, so present in the moment, it made your heart swell. It's been a while since you felt this way, hell you aren't sure if you've ever felt this way...

"sweetheart?"

You look up at him, hovering above you as he holds his weight on those gorgeous arms of his.

"you alright?"

"m perfect," you slur, "feel so good right now"

"damn right you are- so fucking perfect for me"

He kisses you deeply, with passion, with hunger, and you whine louder than anticipated, turning red instantly. Your ears and cheeks heat up, embarrassment painted across your pretty face. Mingyu seems far too pleased with himself.

"oh, angel, don't- fuck you're so cute like this"

You shut your eyes tight and shake your head, still glaringly red. He sighs, lips curling at the corners.

The fucker was smirking.

"how about I stop teasing, hm? I think you've been good"

"mhm" you nod desperately.

"say it. use your words," his voice is assertive and low, dangerously so, "you've been a good girl for me so far, haven't you doll?"

A moan slips past your lips at his words, and you nod again, mind swiped of any other thought.

"I- fuck, I've been- good" you choke out, chest heaving even though he has yet to touch you.

"that's it, that's my girl"

The bed dips to the side, and you feel his weight leaving the mattress. Walking back to your feet, he kneels again, hooking his arms under your thighs to pull off the remaining athleisure. All you had left were white lace panties, a tiny, tiny, bit of fabric preserving your dignity. He groans at the sight- you had soaked through them completely, arousal coating your inner thighs.

"so fucking wet for me," he mumbles into your thigh, biting down to stifle a groan you suspect he'd been holding back for far too long.

"you like it that much when I call you that? when I call you a good girl?"

"please"

"please?" he echoes.

"please" you say, a little louder, desperation so evident the blind could see it.

Mingyu laughs, clearly pleased with the state you're in.

"so fucking pretty when you beg"

"mingy-oh my god-"

Without warning, he licks a stripe up your clothed sex, and the feeling sends you yearning for more right away. He eases your underwear off, shoving them into his back pocket, and dives right in.

No one has ever made you feel this way before. Not a fucking soul.

The way his lips cradled your sensitive bud, tongue flicking up and down- gentle, but firm- drove you insane. Your mouth hung open, sharp breaths leaving unevenly. His tongue felt fucking electric. Like he knew your body better than you did yourself. A couple minutes in and you can already feel an orgasm building deep in your stomach, a wave of heat ready to crash.

"m-more," you stutter, "please"

"would this be okay?" he asks innocently, detaching himself for a second to show you his thick, veiny hands.

Before you can agree, he slips a digit into you, tongue returning to your sensitive clit right away. His finger coils up inside you, reaching for the spot you'd like most.

It shouldn't surprise you how easily and quickly he finds it, pressing up immediately, but it does. A choked moan leaves your throat, the loudest one thus far, and your eyes shoot down to his in shock.

"how-"

"I know my way 'round here doll, I own this after all, don't I?"

His words are just enough to send you over the edge, and you tremble as he continues to finger you, helping you ride the wave till you stop spasming.

"so g- fuck you feel so good"

He slips his finger out, bringing it to his lips to lap up your juices. The sight of his tongue darting over his fingers has you whimpering pathetically, in need of something more already. Drinking in the sight of him on his knees for you, you soon realize something. His clothes were still on.

"wanna see you" you mumble, "please"

In a swift motion, his shirt's off and his toned torso is on complete display. The deep divots of his abs have you drooling and you find yourself wanting to bite into them and claim him as your own.

"so you do think I'm hot" he smirks as he gauges your reaction.

"get over yourself ugh"

"not when I've got a fucking goddess in bed with me"

"shut up" you roll your eyes. His eyes narrow at you, slight aggression in his tone-

"yeah, I'm gonna have to fuck that attitude out of you. right fucking now."

You reach out to feel his abs but he smacks your hand away, smirking slyly. He runs his hand down his chiseled body, and god you wish those were your hands touching him. The upward quirk of his lips told you that he knew how badly you wanted to touch him. He knew the effect his body had on you.

"can't touch me yet baby," he smirked lazily, "gotta earn it- gotta prove to me how good you can be, hm? gotta take this thick fucking cock like a good little slut- you can do that for me, can't you doll?"

You whimpered, spreading your legs for him greedily and he moans at the sight. Your sopping folds were on display, only for him to see. All of you was on display only for him to see.

"that's it- so fucking needy" He shoved off his sweats.

Breathing heavily, he crawled over you, slow like an animal stalking his prey. The tip of his cock peeked out of his boxers and your mouth watered at the sight, waiting eagerly to see it in all its glory.

He laughed dryly at your reaction. He found you so damn cute. All needy and cock drunk for him. Him alone.

His boxers were soon pushed off, hardened cock springing free right away.

Shit.

He was huge. Thick and veiny and long- fuck so long he'd be able to kiss your cervix right away. Unable to tear your gaze away from it, you bit your lip in anticipation, a mixture of fear and excitement flashing through your bright eyes.

"h- you're so big," you whispered, "so fucking big-"

He grins, sadistically almost.

"that pretty pussy of yours will make room for me though, won't it?" You gasp. Of course, it will, fuck you'd do anything for him. Anything.

"anything for you- anything to feel you in me"

Those words of yours seem to be it for him, and he holds his cock in his hand, slapping it against your clit so you feel his weight.

"this?" he prods, "you want this in you angel?"

Yes. God yes. Your body screams, aches for him. You fucking need this. You need him. Your mind clouds with lust, and you chant his name like a prayer. How badly you needed him- needed his cock to fill you up real good. Fuck if he would just get on with it and stop teasing already, you were so wet for him.

Your prayers are answered, when you feel his tip slide in, slowly, stretching you out in a way no man ever has before. Your pussy tightens as he fills you so deliciously. Locking your eyes onto the way he slid into your pussy, you moaned when you realized that he wasn't even halfway in yet. How you were going to accommodate for his sheer size was beyond you, but god did you feel good with every inch he sunk further.

"min-gy- oh my god" you shuddered, already feeling your stomach tighten when all he'd done was ease himself into you.

"fuck I'm not even all the way in yet" he groans at the way you clench around him.

"please-" Your voice is hoarse and loud.

You grab onto his arm, digging your nails into the hard flesh. Those were leaving marks, for sure.

"more, gyu please"

"fuck," he shivered, bottoming out right away as your back arched under him, "two taps on my thigh if you want me to stop, okay?"

You nod, squirming under him as he starts to move. His thrusts are slower than you expected, but god are they powerful. You'd always expected him to be a hard and fast kind of guy but evidently, he likes to take his fucking time. The bed shook with each thrust, quivering under him just the way you were. The thick, hard vein running along the underside of his cock rubs against your walls so good, you feel your eyes glass over.

"cock's so good it has you crying? hm?" he grunts out, thrusting upward into you, as he leans back into you for a kiss.

His eyes fluttered shut as your lips connected, and he licked at the seam of your mouth for entrance. Glad to oblige, you open up, a moan slipping out before he muffles it with his tongue. He explored the hollow of your mouth, trailing over your tongue like a man starved. You'd stopped breathing for a bit, completely captured by the way he flooded your senses.

His mouth was on your own, dick still thrusting away inside you, chest heaving against yours- he was everywhere.

A hand made its way down to your clit, thumbing tight circles into the oversensitive nub. You moaned, your own hand chasing his to hold his wrist in place. He let out a shallow groan, feeling the way you clamped down around him right away.

"fuck" he rasped, "that's- fuck you're good, so good for me angel" His hips stuttered, cock twitching inside you, and your walls tightened further, ready for release.

"ca-n I cum," you begged, tears pricking at your eyes as his gaze locked onto you, "please gyu"

"cum on my cock doll, fuck, I'm so close- so close you feel so fucking good"

You squeeze him, coming undone at his words, moans dripping past your lips uncontrollably as your back arched- spine tingling from the pleasure.

He followed soon after, pulling out just as he came, hot white ropes shooting out over your stomach. The noises he made were borderline pornographic- the most perfect, erotic groans you'd ever heard, and you could've sworn you heard him whimper just after he pulled out. His body slumped beside yours, arm draped around your waist.

A minute passed in silence. All you could hear was his steadying breath as he tried to regain his composure. You sighed, holding onto the arm around you.

"fuck"

"fuck," he echoed, sighing satisfactorily "c'mere let's get you cleaned up angel"

Gently, he scooped you up in his arms, carrying you so tenderly you could melt. He made his way over to the bathroom, setting you down at the side of the tub as he ran you a bath. While the tub took its time filling up, Mingyu snagged a soft hand towel from your rack and ran it under the tap before wiping you down with the warm cloth. His actions were wordless, save for a few compliments he threw your way seeing how you shone under his touch.

His eyes, however, spoke a language of their own, the string connecting your gaze and his staying taut constantly.

'I love you.' they seemed to be saying, louder and louder despite his silence. There was a desperation in those eyes you couldn't seem to place. A longing.

Your bath was ready. Mingyu shut off the water, and eased you in, feeling how you relaxed in its warmth. He smiled softly, getting in with you right away. You could get used to this... How tenderly he held you against his chest, rubbing soothing circles into your back and shoulders. It almost made you feel special. Almost.

You still couldn't seem to shake the thought that this was a one-night-only affair. That he wasn't in love the way you were. That he would leave.

"y/n" he said, "there's something I'd like to ask you"

"go ahead 'm listening gyu"

"how do you feel-" he started, hesitating when your shoulders tensed, "how do you feel about me?"

"I-"

The words wouldn't come out.

'I love you. I've loved you for so long. I want to be yours Mingyu, I want to fall asleep with you every night and wake up with you every morning. I want to hold your hand and know that this is real- that it's you and me against the world. I want you. To be touched by you, to be loved by you.'

Your throat closed up and the tears you didn't realize you were holding back rolled down your cheeks. Alarmed, Mingyu cupped your face quickly, thumbs swiping away the tears.

"I'm sorry- fuck I'm so sorry this is too soon isn't it?" his panicked, almost guilty voice rang in your ears. "I shouldn't have assumed you felt the same, I'm so sorry y/n"

Wait what?

"you- but I- what?"

The tears had stopped. Your eyes were fixed on his guilty ones.

"I assumed you liked me too"

"too?"

"yes, too. I've liked you since forever- I thought you knew 'cause of how obvious I made it"

"too?" You were dumbfounded. Your mouth felt dry. Your heart thudded against the confines of your ribs. Your lips crashed into his, desperately, passionately.

Taken aback by the sudden kiss, a surprised gasp left Mingyu's lips.

"I like you too, idiot, love you, even" you mumbled against his lips, before he pulled you in once again for a longer, deeper kiss, just like the one you first shared.

Your breaths enmeshed, becoming one, hands holding onto one another desperately. The steady thud in your chest matched his own and you knew this was real.

"I love you more," his eyes shine with such devotion and awe, you feel the air knocked out of your lungs.

You run a finger along his defined chest, earning a shiver in response, and whisper;

"show me, then,"

A sly smile quirks up his lips and he lowers his head into the crook of your neck.

"only if you say please"

#seventeen #mingyu #mingyu smut #kim mingyu #smut #seventeen smut

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sepublic · 1 month ago

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I find it interesting that even in the epilogue, four years after Camila has had time to be more acquainted with the Boiling Isles under non-threatening circumstances, she’s still creeped out by it. And this is fine! The narrative isn’t condemning her for it. It’s not demanding that she enjoy these things like Luz does; It’s just asking for her to respect its existence, and to support Luz’s interest in it and love her too.

In For the Future, we see Camila horrified by what she encounters in the Boiling Isles; But she also spends the whole episode pushing through it anyway for Luz’s sake, being there for her as much as she can. Because she knows these are just feelings and nothing more, and she’s choosing to be kind in spite of them.

By contrast, in this same episode we find out Belos does feel empathy and guilt towards his brother and nephew, he wasn’t purely 100% only interested in what they could do for him; And yet, he’s still just as cruel and violent towards them. He’s still cruel and violent towards witches and demons, sometimes using the ‘tragedy’ of Caleb as a justification. Hell, he even resents the ghosts for making him feel guilty, telling them to “Shut up.”

Isn’t that fascinating? Disgust is portrayed as a morally neutral thing. It’s not an indictator of morality, it doesn’t mean something is bad… But it doesn’t mean the person who feels it is bad, either, people don’t consider that enough. It’s just a gut reaction. Sometimes people have internalized biases they need to work through, but other times, it’s pretty harmless as long as they’re self-aware and don’t do anything bad over it; This even applies to the process of unlearning the aforementioned biases.

Likewise, empathy and guilt don’t actually, necessarily make you a good person. The example with Belos shows how some people will actually be crueler because of empathy, because they resent people for being upset, and thus making them feel upset because they naturally empathize. Hence those who get angry at people in pain and need for “ruining their vibe,” because now they feel bad too.

There’s a juxtaposition in how Camila seems genuinely more scared and creeped out by the isles on a visceral level than Belos, and yet Camila has the common sense to still respect and fight for its existence; Whereas Belos chooses to make a mountain out of a molehill because it’s not just hatred, it’s pride. It all boils down to his ego at the end of the day. In many ways, other characters struggle with dilemmas more difficult than Belos’, yet still do better than he ever has.

This all plays into my thesis that TOH is arguing your feelings are secondary to your actions, and that the latter is what decides whether you’re a “good” person or not. In the end, someone who’s had a good life and was a dick for selfish reasons, only to choose to be better, is more sympathetic and morally superior than someone who suffered a million unfair grievances, and proceeded to dole out a million unfair grievances, with no sign of stopping; Especially from an IRL perspective, and I think our IRL feelings sometimes influence how we engage with media, and vice-versa.

That’s why the finale –and the show as a whole– emphasizes choices, over inherent, instinctual feelings. A decent chunk of Camila’s arc could be summarized by the word Squick; In the sense that it’s meant to describe things that one feels personal disgust and discomfort towards, but otherwise has no moral condemnation or problem with; It’s just a Me thing, is the point of Squick. Camila is like that sex-repulsed ace who nevertheless supports kink at Pride.

That gets me to how my ruminations were prompted by a similar observation; How some people lump sex-repulsed aces in with the oppressive Puritans who hate sex in anything, but that’s not true at all. Obviously there’s the rare Exception, but as a whole, sex-repulsed aces are on the side of other queers who ARE sexual and are demanding to let these things be normalized; It’s not for them, but they have no moral condemnation and will fight for it in solidarity anyway, especially since both are hated by the system regardless. Sound familiar?

#The Owl House #Camila Noceda #Meta #emperor belos #philip wittebane

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catboybiologist · 1 month ago

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Alright. We need to talk about screenshotting my posts and putting them on other sites.

tl;dr: feel free to screenshot and spread my posts, but if you do so or see someone else doing so, please let me know. Either tag me (same username on youtube and reddit) or send me a link here.

Reasoning/why I'm saying this now under the cut.

Recently, I've noticed increase in the number of my posts that have made it to the subreddit r/curatedtumblr. This subreddit is a bit of a gateway to tiktok, youtube, and any other site that reposts tumblr screenshots - usually, AI video voiceover videos use the exact screenshots that were posted to reddit first, so usually r/curatedtumblr is the first "leak" of a post having reach outside of tumblr itself.

Now.

Most of the time, I don't have a problem with this. I even like it when random stuff I say has a reach beyond my usual community, and maybe even has a chance to resonate with someone that wouldn't have seen it otherwise. I don't know which one of my posts are going to resonate with other communities and other people, so I also don't want the only way for a an idea of mine to make it to another platform to be me manually posting that idea there myself. curatedtumblr has a blacklist of blogs who do not want to be post to that subreddit, but for this reason, I don't necessarily want to add myself to this blacklist. And of course, most of the time what gets reposted is a random shitpost, so its not a big deal.

However. Occasionally, a post of mine that is political, or has a deeper discussion associated with it, or something along those lines, is reposted elsewhere. And well, things can get very weird. Discussion can go in directions that I can't control, context can be added or removed that completely alters my point, and I can start to attract hate from people without even knowing it. And when this happens, it tends to spill back to me. When my posts make it to other platforms, its pretty normal to get a slight uptick in hate, or even just people finding that post and adding their own misinterpretation or discussion that happened 100% without me knowing. Being looped into the conversation, or even being able to see what kind of

A frustrating, but ultimately harmless example, is the "peak androgyny gandalf big naturals" post. I added context to that to clarify the way I was making fun of societal standards of androgyny as a whole, when the post instead seemed to be interpreted as the "correct" way to be nonbinary, which was not my intention at all.

I found the post on reddit, posted my own screenshots with the context I added, and was able to participate in the conversation, which helped a lot! But, the original, contextless post was up long enough that it pretty much solidified that misinterpretation as the main way people read that post.

I considered posting something like this then, but again, its ultimately harmless. I would've liked to participate in the reddit discussion earlier, but no biggie. So I didn't mention anything then.

Today, I opened reddit and saw this:

That title is not mine. It was added by the person who posted it to curatedtumblr. I've since had a respectful conversation with u/Hummerous, and they agreed to take the post down. 0 hate to them, again, they were respectful, and I'm screenshotting their username with permission.

This reads as a call for violence. Specifically, it reads as a call for violence that I am saying, and was attributed to me without my knowledge or consent.

This was not the intention of the original post. I was specifically referring to social ostricization, deplatforming, and anger responses, which are the forms of "silencing" that conservatives typically complain about.

Look. Responsible left wing gun ownership is something I support. Calls to extreme action are sometimes warranted. However, I am not qualified to comment on these, encourage them, or communicate about them. Communication of a specific topic is a skill. I do not possess that skill as it relates to guns or gun ownership. There are many, many other activists who do. Miscommunication can be dangerous. I want the most qualified and strongest voices to communicate properly. For this issue, that is not me.

This post isn't even about gun ownership, but suddenly, I'm forced to comment on it. If it seems like I'm pussyfooting around the topic, then yeah, I am- because this post is a little fucking scary on my end, and escalates rhetoric against me and others around me. Again, without my knowledge or consent.

I saw this post and was able to request it be taken down. But by that time, it already had 1.2k upvotes and god knows how many people who had seen it. If I were tagged earlier, I could've asked for that earlier, and I would be a little less jumpy right now.

So please. PLEASE. If you see a post of mine on another platform, please either ping me on that platform or send me a link to that post via tumblr DMs.

#reddit #curatedtumblr #curated tumblr #reposts #reposting #repost

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chaoticbardlady99 · 1 year ago

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I Don't Wanna Be Your Friend (Astarion x GN! Reader)

This man has a chokehold on me and I have been plagued by this idea for about a week.

Title inspired by the song "i wanna be your girlfriend" by girl in red

CW: Mentions of violence and gore (not descriptive), bit of angst, comfort

(Not my photo. I believe it belongs to Daily Gaming)

Synopsis- You and Astarion are in the middle of a war to prove who can set the best traps. However, a lack of rules seems to have gotten you into a predicament neither one of you had anticipated.

Sometimes you take it a smidge too far.

You would love to tell people you are some cunning, daring rogue, but the reality is that you are consistently flying by the seat of your pants. Occasionally it works really well- this was not one of those times.

You never felt the need to prove anything to anyone.

Well, until you met Astarion. Within the first three days of traveling with him, your confidence and patience began to wear thin. He would make snide comments when watching you attempt to unlock a chest or when you scare off your prey by tripping over a bush. Then he would smirk at you- with that stupid, beautiful smirk.

He enjoys adding salt to the wound by taking on the task you failed at; usually lock picking, sneak attacks, and Gods only knows what else he could make fun of you for. You are very aware that you are not some fancy rogue and it never bothered you until now. You had accepted long ago that you are just a street urchin moving up in the world after teaching yourself the trade.

The final straw had been when you had placed traps to catch dinner. Your traps had been successful (naturally- traps were your thing) and you brought back three bunnies for Gale’s stew.

Oh, but of course Astarion had something to say. He always has something to say.

“Oh look at that- how cute. I’m sure sheerluck was on your side,” he quips, “You’ll get better eventually.”

Thus began the war of all wars.

It started with small traps- nuisances really. Tripwire, a laughing or sleep rune well hidden, and traps that release horrible smells. Then it quickly took a turn for the worst; what were once harmless pranks turned into trip wires that release a swarm of bees, simple pits began to get deeper, and blasting traps that would send either one of you flying into a nearby object. It was never truly life threatening, just questionable.

Well, except for the bees. The bees were not the greatest thought in hindsight; considering both you and Astarion had to help each other with the bee stings- Shadowheart refusing to be involved. You both laughed and he even complimented you on your cleverness. You swore you could have exploded in that moment.

You have a massive, childish crush on the man and maybe the competition was your subconscious way of getting closer to him. However, your other companions were getting sick of it pretty quickly.

They had all hoped after the Tiefling party that the two of you would put your silly competition to rest so that you could all travel together in peace and they would just have to deal with PDA.

What a silly thing for them to think. PDA hasn't happened, but the pranks did become less risky and less frequent. You were okay with this change.

You feel like you and Astarion have become close friends. Even though your tryst didn’t lead to a romantic relationship as you had hoped, you were happy to have Astarion in your life in any capacity. If that was just as a friend- then so be it.

Which brings us back to the beginning- when you realize that your ‘trap war’ had paper thin rules and the lack of rules just might be the thing that actually kills you on this journey.

All you wanted to do was clean yourself off. It had been one last relaxing day before you set off to the Creche, but you had thought you might treat yourself. Baths were rare and far between these days and you want to enjoy it while you have it. However, you were not planning for a simple snare trap to foil your entire evening.

You get hoisted up into the air, slammed against the tree, and drop all of your belongings- including the knife you brought ‘just incase’. You glared at the knife and put your hand to your blood fountain of a nose.

“Traitor,” you whisper with a pout as you look for a way to escape the trap.

Suddenly, you freeze as instincts kick in. You hear the Gnolls before you see them. Your bloody nose from the impact of the tree had led them to you. They attempt to claw at you- trying to rip you down from the tree. You feel their claws tear into your back, the side of your arms, and one of them even manages to take a swipe at your abdomen as you scramble to escape. The cuts weren't life threatening, but they hurt. A LOT.

You manage to use the rope to pull yourself up onto one of the tree limbs; allowing you to hide some of your body from the Gnolls, but you now have an arrow protruding out of your right thigh so obviously that isn’t working well either.

You bite back tears, frozen in fear. You really did not want to die this way and you certainly didn’t want it to be because of Astarion’s trap. You have a feeling he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if you died because of him.

You can imagine the blame and anger the rest of your companions would direct at him if the worst happened. You imagine the bloodshed- knowing full well that everyone (minus Karlach) would not forgive him for accidentally killing you. Lae’zel would be the first one to put a stake in his chest- her fondness for you is no secret.

Your heart thumps painfully at that thought and your resolve hardens. You will not die because you will not let that happen to Astarion.

You look around, your arms and legs shaking still with the residual shock and fear. You look for any sharp branches, a forgotten knife lodged somewhere, or even something you could cast a cantrip on to distract them. You have no such luck.

You resign yourself to your fate- the tears making a reappearance.

Unless one of your companions finds you first- you are going to either have to wait for the Gnolls to get bored and leave or they are going to kill you.

You pray to every God you can think of that you will survive the night.

_________________________________________________

Astarion is trying to not look so desperate as he reads the first page for the hundredth time.

You had walked off a little over two hours ago- Lae’zel is on watch while the rest of your companions sleep soundly in their bed rolls.

The longer your bedroll remains empty, the more the pit grows in his stomach.

He didn’t know how to navigate your relationship after the tiefling party.

His feelings for you are confusing. The sex had felt different, he enjoys your company immensely, and he likes how warm he feels around you.

Instead of talking to you like a normal person or taking a moment to reflect, he decided to find some common ground- something you could laugh and talk about later. Normalcy.

He set up a snare trap close to the river you were all using to clean off and then a laughter rune trap somewhere on the path to the Creche. Hypothetically, they are very safe traps.

Unless he rigged them wrong? What if you ran into one of them and….

No, I am sure they are just fine.

He doesn’t even believe his own lie.

After about another five minutes, the anxiety rolling in his stomach becomes unbearable so he grabs his daggers and sets off in the direction you had gone two hours earlier.

He walks quickly through the forest, checking his surroundings and looking for evidence that you were close by. As the minutes pass, he feels the hope of finding you safe shrink.

The wind hits his nose and he becomes stock-still.

He smells your blood- an alarming amount of it-in the air as he gets closer to the river. He fears the worst as he goes to look at the trap- hoping you will forgive him- that you are alive. Safe.

He peers through the bushes and his eyes grow wide as the scene before him unfolds.

You are stuck up in the tree- his trap is still around your ankle. You are holding onto the branch like your life depends on it. It probably does since there are five Gnolls circling the tree like vultures.

He can hear your soft broken sobs as arrows fly over you or hit the tree. He notices the arrow in your leg and watches as a second one lodges itself into your calf. You wince and close your eyes tightly- unknown to you that Astarion’s vision is clouded in red and his whole body fills with destructive, hot rage. He also feels fear, but he pushes it away, not ready to explore the why.

He lunges forward, slashing at the Gnolls with so much force that they are practically in half by the time they hit the forest floor. He is a man possessed as he carves his way through all five gnolls and then he climbs up the tree to you.

His chest aches as he looks at you. He will never be able to forgive himself for causing you so much suffering.

“Darling,” he says softly.

You whimper in response and when you look at him- he feels all the air leave his lunges. If he needed air, he would have passed out right then. Your eyes were glassy with traces of fear, sadness, and loneliness- all emotions he is all too familiar with. Then you see it’s him and the biggest smile crosses your lips and you look at him with so much affection he almost feels ill. This was not the plan and he almost made you a midnight snack for a group of Gnolls.

“You found me,” you say in a raspy, raw voice, “I thought I was going to be stuck here all night until Karlach or Gale found me. Or I was going to die.”

You chuckle, but Astarion can’t get himself to share your same enthusiasm about his rescue mission as he cuts the rope.

He helps you down the tree and safely back on the ground. Astarion winces as you pull the arrows out of your leg. You find a healing potion amongst your things and chug it.

He collects your stuff for you. You give him another one of those brilliant smiles and Astarion tries to smile just as brightly back. You furrow your brows, but he turns away before you can keep analyzing him.

“We should head back,” Astarion mumbles.

______________________________________________

The silence hangs in the air as Astarion walks with you back to camp. After about 15 minutes, you are back at camp and the tension in the air is suffocating.

“Astarion.”

Astarion freezes, turns on his heels, and looks everywhere but your eyes. He couldn’t bare to see you smile at him again- look at him like that again- not after he almost killed you.

You maneuver yourself so you are looking in his eyes.

“It’s not your fault,” he begins to protest when you shush him, “we didn’t set any rules and the trap itself was harmless. We didn't account for Gnolls when we started this whole thing.”

“I almost got you killed.”

“But you didn’t. It easily could have been you in that situation and me saving you.”

“Will you please stop being so Gods damn forgiving,” he huffs with exasperation as he feels tears prick his eyes, “I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I put your life in danger. I almost-”

Lost you. He chokes on the words. The fear from earlier begins to come back to the front of his mind. Watching you cling to that tree, crying, and in pain had made him realize that you just might be more important to him than he cares to admit. However, that’s a conversation for another time- once he sorts out what that feeling in his chest is whenever he looks at you.

You look at him sharply, your eyes raw with sadness, “Stop that right now. I am okay. I lived. It was a mistake and I know your intentions were not bad. You don’t have anything to worry about Star.”

He doesn’t say anything and you hang your head.

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I- I should go-“ Astarion pauses as you interrupt him.

“Please don’t leave,” you whisper, “I rather enjoy your company.”

You look at him with tears welling in your eyes. He stares at you in stunned silence, searching your face for any sign of deception, but he doesn't find it. His body moves before his brain can process what he is doing.

Astarion gently cradles your face in his hands and kisses you slowly, softly. He smiles despite himself when a gasp leaves your lips. You're alive and safe. When the warmth in his chest begins to spread throughout the rest of his body, he pulls away and steps back. Your face is flushed, a beautiful blush spreading across your cheeks. You look at him with wide, unblinking eyes before you shyly smile. Astarion could have melted in that moment. He finds himself smiling too.

“Well I’m assuming that means you are going to stay?”

“I suppose I’ll stay,” he says while tapping his chin, “you do need someone to make sure you aren’t getting into trouble like that again.”

You feign hurt and scoff, “Are you suggesting that this was my fault?”

“Maybe if you were better with traps that wouldn’t have happened,” Astarion teases.

You narrow your eyes at Astarion and you try to hold back a smile. You roll your eyes and stick your tongue out at him.

You start towards camp before you pause and turn around. Astarion gives you a confused look.

You run over to him and place a kiss on his cheek. He tenses for a moment before relaxing again. You look at him sweetly, a soft smile on your lips.

“Good night Astarion.”

As you saunter towards your respective tents, Astarion takes one last glance at your tent- at you- before he lays down with his book. Except he still can’t get past the first page- he is too anxious for the sun to come up so that he can see your smile again.

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #baldurs gate astarion #bg3 spoilers #astarion x you #astarion romance #astarion x tav #bg3 #astarion x gn!tav #bg3 companions

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whereserpentswalk · 2 months ago

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You're a vampire. Nobody around you know, some suspect but they don't know. You understand that you're privileged to be able to hide it, there are vampires with maws of sharp teeth, or bat's wings, or other inhuman features, that mean they'll never pass as human. All you have is unusually pale skin, and small fangs, and you can use makeup to hide the first one. People just don't notice, and it doesn't feel like a big deal, because you make it so they don't suspect, so they never ask, so you never have to lie with words.

You have to make it so you look especially human to make people think you aren't a vampire. You wear bright colors, never black, anything people would consider "cute" but not too sexual, things that make you look small and harmless. You don't express interest in anything that seems too vampiric, like any horror media, or the type of music vampires like. And when you have to, you'll look down on vampires in ways only humans do, you couldn't be safe if someone asked why you had sympathy for them, so you don't, you don't look down on them too much, just a casual socially acceptable amount.

And you have to feel certain amounts of pain. You stand out in the sun, you can't always avoid it without revealing what you are, and it hurts, it burns your skin, its bad for you, but showing what you are is worse. You refuse to eat food of course, but you can't tell why, people must think you're starving yourself. But there's always an excuse, even when you're shamefully looking at the waiter, thinking about how he would taste.

There's something shameful about wanting to drink blood and knowing you can't, thinking about what it would be like to taste your friends. It feels like you're hurting them, with these desires that you can never tell them about. If you ever did tell them it would feel like a betrayal. When you saw your first boyfriend naked you felt so sorry about wanting to do that to him. Things didn't work out with him of course, it was impossible to be intimate, your genitals are dead and useless, and there was no way to tell him how much pleasure you'd get just from having him touch your mouth, your teeth, your gums...

There's a jealously you have for monsters who are open about their inhumanity. Vampires of course, but even seeing ghouls, or werewolves, or demons who are out of the closest, living their lives without secrets, being friends with each other, getting to do all of those oh so stereotypical things, it's a strange sense of envy. You used to tell them that you aren't like them that at least you're civilized, but it's all melted away. Sometimes you wish your body had never been able to pass at all, that you looked so inhuman that you could be truly doomed to always be seen as a monster.

Of course, there are just as many times you're reminded of why it's safe for you to stay this way. When you see how vampires and other monsters are talked about by those around you. When you see induvial monsters turned away from somewhere because they're 'dangerous looking'. When you hear what some religions have to say about your kind. Even just the side glances, and desire for distance, that so many seem to have when there's a monster in conversation. The worst-case scenario when someone is targeted by a monster hunter. Even if your college has a lot of monsters, even if your city is relatively accepting, you know you'll never be 100% safe. And you tell yourself that you can avoid all of that.

You were turned into a vampire pretty recently, right out of high school. Your parents seem accepting only on the condition that you're quiet about it. Part of it is that you're not ready for your human life to end yet. You're not ready for everything that you once were to fall away, and not ready for your last chance to have human friends to disappear.

There's a girl in one of your classes who you think is a werewolf, she hides it but not perfectly. You wish you could say so much to her, you wish you could talk to her. You think she wishes the same. You share glances, those glances say so much.

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magicalmanhattanproject · 1 year ago

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(Most) QSMP Characters As Dog Breeds

Etoiles – Great Pyrenees

Literally the reason I made this whole goddamn monster of a post. Sometimes a man is just So dogboy. Specifically, livestock guardian dogboy. Pyrs are massive, immensely strong dogs that are bred to protect flocks of sheep from wolves and bears and they are very, very good at it. They are fiercely loyal, but also independent and comfortable spending time off on their own and making their own decisions as they wander the borders of their flock's territory. While they're phenomenal at guarding the sheep, they don't have any business herding the sheep or trying to get the sheep to go anywhere in particular.

Philza – Border Collie

Herding the flock is the job of a dog like the collie. The whole point of them is to keep a whole massive flock all in one place and all moving the same direction. Keeping them together, keeping stragglers in line, making sure everyone is accounted for. Border collies in particular are considered the smartest breed of dog on the planet, making them highly adaptable to a wide range of new situations. On the other hand, a collie that doesn't have the space to roam freely and keep itself occupied can easily turn bored, anxious, and destructive.

Roier – Calupoh

Also known as the Mexican wolfdog as it was made by hybridizing with wolves, the calupoh is used for both herding and guarding livestock. While it's not hyperspecialized for either role like the pyrenees or collie are, it can more than hold its own in both. They tend to get along well with both children and other dogs, making them excellent family dogs.

Quackity – Chihuahua

He's short, he's loud, and he likes to start fights he can't possibly win. What more do you want from me? Chihuahuas also happen to be one of the oldest native Mexican breeds alongside the Xoloitzcuintli.

Tubbo – Cairn Terrier

Stubborn, clever, and prone to excessive barking, Cairn terriers are nonetheless loyal and protective of their family. They're playful with family and get along great with children. Bred to chase down vermin, they love digging holes and chasing after whatever catches their eye. They are also known to enjoy chasing things and digging holes. Some of their hobbies include digging holes and chasing after things. They are much less fond of being told to stop chasing or digging.

Tina – Lhasa Apso

The lhasa apso is decidedly not a working dog. Their job is to sit around looking pretty and being brushed and doted on until they hear any suspicious noise that might disturb their peace, at which point they start barking to alert the actual muscle to get to work. That being said, they're more than willing to do the biting themselves if they decide the muscle is too slow to react.

BadBoyHalo – Pit Bull

The pit bull is a breed surrounded by rumors, misinformation, and flat out lies. For one thing, it's not even a breed. It's at least eight breeds that people lump together because they assume they're scarier or more aggressive or dangerous than average, including weird made up lies about locking jaws and nonsense like that. On the other hand, other people will argue that every pit bull is completely 100% harmless and neither would nor could hurt a fly. The truth of the matter is that a dog can be sweet and loving and playful and affectionate and also muscular and toothy and capable of lashing out when hurt or scared or simply because it has a prey drive that it hasn't been properly trained and socialized to restrain.

Jaiden – Beagle

Everyone loves a beagle! They're chill, sweet, eager to please, and down for anything. This makes them a preferred breed for animal testing.

Missa – Siberian Husky

Incredibly dramatic creature. Everything that is going on in the husky's life is the most important and portentous thing that has ever occurred and it will tell all you about it. Loudly.

Carre – Dogo Argentino

Although they sometimes get folded into the "pit bull" label, the dogo is a mastiff bred to hunt pumas and wild boars. They have strong prey drives and love to chase, but are very affectionate with their families. They can also have problem with dog aggression if not properly socialized, but do well with human strangers.

Bagi – Bloodhound

If there's one thing bloodhounds are good at – better than any other dog at, in fact – it's following a scent. They have the best sense of smell of any dog and can follow trails long after they would have gone cold for anyone else. The problem is this leads to an obsessive tendency. They find an interesting smell to follow and they follow it no matter where it's going or who is trying to get them to stop.

Pierre – Pyrenean Shepherd

Another sheepdog, this time bred specifically to work with the Great Pyrenees. Highly intelligent, highly motivated, if they cannot find any problems to solve, they will create them.

Fit – German Shepherd

A trustworthy, versatile breed, German shepherds have the power and strength for aggressive guard and attack dog roles as well as the intelligence to work as service or search and rescue and dogs. In fact, these are some of the most likely dogs to get themselves a job.

Mariana – English Greyhound

Large, long, lean. Little loony.

Wilbur – Borzoi

Large, long, lean. Little loony. (Floppy hair version)

Spreen – Ovcharka

Type of dog to make you go "holy shit is that a bear!" and type of dog to make a bear wish you saw right.

Niki – Hovawart

Native German breed known as a guard for the home and the farm. They are very protective of children and loyal to their families, but take a while to warm up to strangers.

Mouse – Papillon

The smallest of the spaniels, the papillon is not a lapdog. They are highly intelligent and highly energetic and require plenty of daily exercise to meet their activity needs. They're friendly and outgoing and great fun to be around.

Rivers – Boxer

You know, because she boxes...

Pol – Basset Hound

These days, the basset is a companion dog that's perfectly content to lounge around the house all day and not get into too much trouble. And it's these days that we're worried about, right?

Felps – Brazilian Terrier

He's just a little guy who loves to dig.

Antoine – Dogue de Bordeux

An ancient French breed with a weird looking face. The dogue is calm and friendly with children, but aloof with strangers and serves well as a guard dog.

Baghera – Poodle

Look at that silly dog with that funny haircut! Surely that can't be a highly intelligent and effective hunting dog. Nope, none of that here. Just the funny haircut dog. Hey, did you hear the joke about the goldfish?

Cellbit – Fila Brasileiro

Bred from mastiffs and bloodhounds, filas are massive dogs with incredibly powerful tracking instincts and prey drives. They are loyal and protective of their family and especially children but can be aggressive with strangers if not properly trained.

Maxo – Portuguese Water Dog

Please stop trying to keep him on land. Please. He just wants to get off the island. You know, to swim.

Vegetta – Burgos Pointer

Native Spanish breed of gundog. About as close to purple as a dog can get. Generally mild mannered and even tempered, but a hunting dog to the core, they need space to run and roam and make some trouble for small animals.

Foolish – Golden Retriever

A gorgeous specimen of classical doghood. Bred for a similar role to pointers. Known as goofy, charming housepets, but also extremely intelligent, diligent, and hardworking. And gorgeous.

Pac - Irish Wolfhound

Introverted, intelligent, and easygoing, but prone to becoming destructive and morose if left alone for too long. Unreliable watchdogs due to their friendliness towards strangers.

Mike – Campeiro Bulldog

Powerful, strong, and active, with a real fighting spirit and a temper that's slow to activate but powerful when it's there.

Slime – Pug

I'm out of pictures. You know what these look like. Specifically with the most smushed face possible. Why would you breed this dog? Try again.

Cucurucho – Rat

Literally canon.

#sorrelposting #qsmp #i took willy rubius kameto dantdm luzu german and lenay off the list to save myself #i think y'all can forgive me #i'm not doing the eggs either #just imagine them as mixes of their parents

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lollytea · 5 months ago

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Love Lies Bleeding, Lies Love Breeding

(From that poll from yesterday. Something I wrote back in August from last year. Set during the Summer in Gravesfield. Some of Hunter's thoughts on falling in love, looking out for Gus and nursing a doozy's worth of guilt at the same time. Not gonna put this under any tags so it's a blog exclusive I think. If you somehow manage to see this, hello!)

Hunter isn't stupid.

Well, okay, maybe he's a little stupid.

Nobody ever says so. Nobody ever implies it. They wouldn't. They're too nice to him in this house.

But he sometimes wonders if they ever think it.

Sixteen years of being strung along on the trail of a genocide plot and smiling brainlessly the whole time was not very 'Genius Teen Prodigy' of him.

Belos was his blindspot, he can recognize that. He won’t let it obscure his perception of his own intelligence.

Or at least, he’ll try.

He can't afford not to try. His perception means everything right now.

Hunter isn't stupid, he knows this.

He's not unobservant.

He's not even allowing his own insecurities to fog up his lens of what's directly in front of him.

There is a girl in this house. A special kind of girl.

She's disarming. Perilously so.

Too disarming for her own good.

It's a girl who has miraculously mutated sunburns into a contagious disease.

There's this thing she does. A seemingly harmless thing. She asks if Hunter would like to garden with her on sun baked days.

He needs to study this recurring phenomenon. He needs to study her. Because Camila's garden is nothing but a compact patch of land. And yet, here's Hunter, getting hopelessly lost in it.

The hours split between his fingers. He loses time.

It's her. It's always her.

Because there's sunlight catching in the twists of inkblot braids and leaving white-gold nicks in glossy green irises.

Because there's frilly little blouses with not a sleeve in sight to sheathe an emphatic set of biceps.

Because there's shorts with cinched waist bands to better accentuate the bold flare of hips and the prominent bump of a stomach. Shorts with a very high cutoff hem, thus introducing him to the concept of thighs and calves in a way that he wasn't emotionally prepared for, but it really adds to the ensnaring madness of the whole situation.

Because there's her, in all her enthusiastic babbling glory.

Because she elaborates on every plant they tend to, with that soft, slightly raspy edged voice. Occasionally, the voice squeaks on its vowels when her cultivated descriptions grow a little too passionate.

She tells him that she used to get teased for it, and he bites his tongue and doesn't say that those ridiculous little vocal cracks have got the big stupid rock in his chest tightening.

And before he knows it, there's a fried scarlet stain on the back of his neck.

Camila specifically instructs them to re-apply sun lotion every few hours, and Hunter initially had every intention of taking her advice.

He forgets.

He gets lost in the garden, and he gets lost with the girl, and he forgets.

And now the back of his neck matches her seething shoulders.

She forgets, too.

He doesn't overlook that detail.

Hunter isn't stupid.

The reality of this girl's existence has teeth. He knows this because those teeth have been gradually sinking into him since the day he met her, one sweet penstagram message at a time.

There are wild, writhing, squirming jungles erupting in his stomach.

He's pretty sure if you cracked open his skull, it'd be filled to the brim with flower petals.

She's got those prickly vines coiling around the galdorstone inside of him as if she owns the damn thing.

(She very well might own the damn thing. Or, well, she'd be entitled to at least a chunk of it in a custody battle if he's being perfectly honest.)

She has well and truly captured him.

And he's pretty sure she's done it on purpose.

If you're going to melt solid gold down to a puddle, at least consider the consequences. That puddle is going to spend his post-liquidized days mooning over memories of the melting process and wonder how the hell you're still not done with him.

She isn't done with him. She makes that perfectly clear every time she catches him alone and flirts him into a quiet corner.

Yeah. That's a thing that's currently happening in this house. For some reason.

He doesn't know how, he doesn't know why, but Hunter of all people, has managed to pique Captain Willow Park's interest.

In a less than platonic way, he means. He feels the need to clarify because it's that specific aspect that has wrung his nerves tight.

She never says it. Not explicitly. It's not exactly overt.

He notices how she always reels herself back whenever the playful ambiguity begins eroding. It's almost like she's fiddling with him, but unsure of how to get a good grip.

Either that or she's deliberately building anticipation.

Obviously, if she's going to go and make a botanical disaster out of his brain, he's going to end up paying a lot of attention to her and how she carries herself when he's around.

However...it could all be a joke.

It could be some confusing teenager thing that he's not yet educated on.

It could be that she's just overwhelmingly nice, and this is all in his head.

But Hunter does not think that's the case.

Hunter isn't stupid.

So, the tentative assumption that there's something about his colorless disposition that she finds attractive is the reason gross, sticky sweat soaks his underarms whenever he interacts with her.

He's learning a lot about emotions that he previously believed himself to be well acquainted with, only to discover that they operate far differently under foreign circumstances.

For example, nobody knows fear like Hunter. The feeling is second nature to him.

And he can confidently proclaim that whatever is swelling between him and Willow has him scared witless.

But if that's the case, why do his facial muscles ache from grinning?

When Hunter gets excited, the words tend to bubble out of him at a breakneck pace.

But, as Willow casually traces the tip of her index finger down his inner forearm while crooning so maddeningly close to his ear, why can he not manage to choke out a single word?

That's what Willow does. That's what she does to him.

She rearranges things that should be straightforward. She shoots all those thoughts and feelings ten feet under, and before he can figure out what’s become of him, they're erupting from the ground, fluorescent and wholly unfamiliar.

The sturdy floors beneath him become tiles made of leaves fluttering over a depth of nothingness. It's unknown terrain. He doesn't know where to step, and it leaves him terrorstruck.

What now?

He thought he had adjusted to how it felt to free fall, plunging through the sky, slicing through the icy air.

Falling, falling...

His internal organs are in a jumble from the sudden rush of turbulence.

Falling, falling...

The sensation is unpleasant but temporary. Within seconds, Flapjack has steered his staff-form to swoop directly under Hunter's plummeting body and the two latch on to each other.

He supposes this feeling is a little like that. Or at least how it was in the early days of his and Flapjack's delicate partnership, before the contents of his stomach learned to strap themselves down.

But the biggest difference is that there's no near immediate release from how it feels to fall.

Falling, falling…

When does the falling stop?

Obviously he's heard the phrase. It's common. Almost overrated. Most recently, it was heard rolling off Amity's tongue as she churned out a thorough and sentimental report on why she fell victim to the falling and to the thing she fell into.

Falling, falling…

It makes him feel off balance.

He’s defenseless.

And, for reasons unbeknownst to himself, he likes it.

He likes this. Whatever it is.

She makes him like it. Which is so typical of her.

He likes being scared out of his skull. He likes her attention, no matter how startling the blaze of heat is.

It's exhilarating in a way. Like back in his castle days when he felt the jittery elation of reading books he wasn't allowed to

But it never lasts. Sooner or later, the guilt begins oozing until all of his childish joy is polluted.

Deception is deception, no matter how innocent the intentions are. Ultimately, Hunter is always left with a horrible sinking feeling for lying to his uncle.

Well...

Deception continues.

Even in this new life.

Even for this new Hunter.

Even if he tries to ignore it.

He likes seeing traces of his reflection in Willow's gold framed eyes, knowing the boy she's looking at has a red, bloody, gooey heart between his ribs.

That boy's expression is stitched together from a totally random assortment of genetic features.

That boy looks like that by pure coincidence.

That boy's body is his own.

He likes pretending to be the boy in Willow’s eyes.

'We'll tell them,' Luz had said on the night they were forced through the portal. 'When we're ready.'

When will he be ready?

The truth is molding away inside of him.

He hasn't drummed up the courage to tell Luz yet because he's not prepared for her potential disapproval, but...

It's been an ongoing litigation in his brain court.

What if he never tells them? Would that be so bad?

Who does it hurt?

If anything, telling them would gut them clean through.

Telling them would lead to pain that's irreversible for everyone involved.

Do they really need that?

Sometimes Gus jolts awake at night, suffocating on his own serrated screams, but Hunter has figured out the trick of calming him down.

It involves being Hunter.

He's not good with finding the words and clicking them together in a way that subsides a riotous mind. The kind of magic Gus effortlessly works on Hunter every now and again.

But he knows two words, and they're just as effective.

'I'm here,'

The basement couch should be too narrow for both Gus and Hunter to comfortably sleep on.

And yet Hunter always ends up laying there after one of these episodes. And something about his awkwardly elongated body with all its jagged corners is as good as any comfort blanket for Gus.

It's only after Hunter hears the slow even breathing against his chest that he closes his eyes, wondering how he got here. Why is he one of the first people Gus seeks out in the dark?

Maybe because of that thing he said a while back.

I promise. I wouldn't mess with you.

Gus has spent a lifetime being deceived by liars, and this simple fact is restless in Hunter's stone heart.

If Hunter tells them, he's exposed as one of those liars.

And he doesn't know how much more shattered trust Gus can take.

It's one of those nights as he's being beckoned to sleep by the steady rhythm of Gus’ quiet snores when Hunter’s mind, left unattended, goes wandering into the bleakest depths.

What would happen if he told Gus?

This friendship would be done. He knows that much.

But severed ties wouldn't be where the hurt ends, would it?

What if it takes months, no years, before Gus’ night terrors ease up?

What if time passes, tides change, moons molt into new moons, and in that hazy future, Gus is sleeping somewhere far away from here?

What if, when he wakes up screaming, it’s because of those nights spent in Camila Noceda’s basement, and that thing he had allowed himself to sleep next to?

What if Gus spends the rest of his life rattled by how close the two of them had once been? Just how easily he could have had the breath wrung out of his throat by Hunter’s witch slaughtering hands.

In this future that Hunter imagines, there is no solution for Gus’ hurt. And he’s unable to wrap him up tight in his arms and tell him he’s here because he's not here anymore.

He’s somewhere far away from Gus.

Or he’s dead. Which is basically the same thing.

Not like it would matter anyway. Even if he was close enough to hold him, it would just make everything worse. Hunter having been in close proximity a time ago would be the whole reason for the hurt. The most considerate thing he could do is stay far away or be dead and rotting or whatever it is that keeps him out of sight and out of mind.

He notices that whenever Gus calls out to him in the dark, he barely sounds like himself. It’s like this iron spined thirteen year old has regressed eight years and he's nothing but a frightened preschooler begging to be held by someone safe.

Hunter is not someone safe.

But maybe, for Gus' sake, he can pretend to be.

If the truth never leaves Hunter's tongue, then he will never be the monster in Gus' bad dreams.

So, he's protecting him, right? If Hunter just keeps his huge mouth shut for once in his life, Gus won't have to carve another painful tally mark into his already worn down heart.

There doesn't have to be another liar in Gus' life.

Not if he never finds out.

Hunter can pretend.

He can bury himself into this game of make-believe until the lie and the truth become in the same.

Wouldn't that be better for everyone?

He knows it's dishonest, but he can make up for it with his life. He'll make them happy, he promises.

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songsofadelaide · 5 months ago

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HELLOO!!! me again teehee i was wondering if u still accepted requests or if theyre closed for now but i still wanted to share my ting!! moment but its totally up to u whether or not u’ll accept.

in part two of the cbffs hoshina x reader series, hoshina mentioned reader should write him letters if there are anything reader cant say to his face and i was wondering if we could get like a moment where that happens im thinking uhh since hoshina is pretty important member of the force maybe he gets too busy/ preoccupied/ spending too much time w work and while reader understands this it doesnt mean she doesnt feel lonely sometimes… maybe add a bit of jealousy w hoshina spending alot more time w/ okonogi or whoever/ whatever scenario if thats up to ur liking and reader just gets distant?? and decides to leave a letter to hoshinas table telling how she feels as she cant say what shes feeling to his face

idk theyve been so cute and happy i wanna ruin it EMZ!!! lowkey theres already a number of good jealous hoshina we need more of jealous reader imo. thank uuu!!!

ANON WHY?! Like why ruin a perfectly good thing LOL BUT I GET! 😂 I'm all for fluff, but maybe the reader should go apeshit sometimes. 🤭

This will be the final part of my Radiant Point series, which took on a life of its own after I received so many lovely requests for more parts of it! 💛

My apologies too that this took so long! There's balancing life in real-time. (I just quit my job and am now hunting for a new one lol! 😂)

flare — another side story to radiant point. ✧ refulgence | candor

cw: vice captain soshiro x platoon leader (f) reader, fiancee reader, childhood friends to lovers, jealous + mean reader, no use of 'yn', happy reunions.

Vice Captain Hoshina Soshiro of the Third Division was perhaps the second most admired person in Tokyo.

Not only that, but perhaps he's also the second most busy person in your division.

You learned about that the hard way one day when you found Soshiro conversing with one of the Operations trainees Konomi assigned to him during low-risk missions while on your way to the Captain's office. You just wrapped up from a mission yourself when you nearly walked in on him and the young but pretty girl. She had a neat look to her person and evidently took everything he said to heart, jotting down notes as he spoke to her about pointers you had no idea about. If you remembered correctly, too, she must be one of Konomi's best and brightest since she had no issue assigning her to the Vice Captain, of all people.

"Well? Did you get all of that, Tateyama? It's a lot to consider, but Okonogi-chan thinks you're capable enough."

"Yes, boss! I-I mean sir!" The Operations trainee, Tateyama, eagerly nodded her assent as she closed her notepad and slipped it back into the pocket of her white coat.

"Do you have any other questions?"

"D-Do you have a girlfriend, Vice Captain?!"

"I'm engaged to Platoon Leader Koganei," Soshiro replied with his usual cheer. "You must not know about it since we've just recently announced it."

"O-Oh, I see! One of our Platoon Leaders…"

"She and I are childhood friends, too."

"Ah! And childhood friends, too!" The younger girl remarked with a look of complete surprise on her face. "How romantic!"

You left them to their conversation after hearing just how harmless it was and decided to pay no thought to it afterwards. A young girl with a silly crush on your fiancé was nothing to feel threatened about. More than anything, it was rather flattering to know just how well-sought-after Soshiro was and that he still chose you out of all the people he could be with.

But then you realised the young girls around him may not be as harmless as you initially thought.

The young Operations trainees were taking a break from weapons calibrations when you overheard their conversation at the mess hall that afternoon. You didn't mean to, of course. You and Tae were there for a break yourselves, but something in the tone of their voices made you do a double-take.

"I can't believe you actually asked Vice Captain Hoshina if the rumours were true!"

"I-I know! It's too bad that they were. That means he's off-limits," said the girl you recognised as Tateyama from the other day. "B-But that doesn't mean we can't daydream about him a little now, can we? He's just so cool!"

"Exactly! And he's got a cute side, too. Maybe if we show him just how good we are, he might cave in and even consider enterta—"

"Well, that's not a good w— O-Otome-chan?!"

Your fellow Platoon Leader was unable to stop you from marching towards their table, where you unceremoniously slammed down your favourite iced drink.

"P-Platoon Leader K—!" The girls hastily rose to their feet to meet your smiling yet furious gaze. "We—"

"You're… Tateyama, aren't you? The one assigned to the Vice Captain," you said, not even allowing them to speak. "And you are?"

"A-Akabane, ma'am," the other girl stammered.

"My, you must think so little of Vice Captain Hoshina if you think he'll consider entertaining little brats like you," you stated with a wicked grin on your face. "How… funny. I seem to recall the Vice Captain telling you that he was already engaged, Tateyama. But that doesn't bother you at all, does it?"

"I-I…"

"This isn't high school, children. We aren't in the business of stealing other women's boyfriends here. Even more so that he's engaged. We're all about saving lives and subjugating Kaiju here. If you're really as smart as Konomi-chan says you are, you'll know what's more important."

How scary, Tae thought to herself, though she couldn't blame you for reacting that way, too. Then again, these kids are way too brazen!

Captain Ashiro Mina of the Third Division, a pillar of strength and a beacon of light for the people of Tokyo, has been reduced to matchmaking duties because she's had just about enough.

Because two of her best officers were acting like idiots.

She was supportive of your relationship with Soshiro at first, but now that you were unable to coexist in the same space whenever the Vice Captain was around, she thinks it's borderline ridiculous. You couldn't even deliver reports without glaring at him wherever your eyes met! (And you admit that it's totally unprofessional on your part.) Mina is forgiving, but your situation begs the question now.

Can loving someone really fry your brain that much?

She heard about how you scolded the younger Operations trainees and even had Konomi apologising for their "brazen" behaviour, as Tae also mentioned.

Soshiro's not-so-subtle teasing and flirting aren't helping your case, either. Everyone knew he liked throwing around little endearments, but the way he spoke to you was different— his voice hushed to a whisper and a string of endearments he'd rather not let anyone else hear—and it made sense to the rookies that you were a blubbering mess afterwards.

But they all noticed how you avoided the Vice Captain like he had the plague even though he just whispered yet another light-hearted sweet nothing to you. It was clear to them that you were annoyed, but the way your lips quivered in embarrassment gave you away and you might as well just combust on the spot.

"I'm acting like a fool…"

The final straw was when you were taking your bath late in the night. Mina realised you were purposely avoiding everyone else by volunteering to be the last one to take a bath and mop up the floors. You thought you'd be all alone by then, but you were shell-shocked by the dark silhouette that appeared behind you as you groaned to yourself.

"C-Captain! I-It's late! Wh—"

Your Captain held her belongings in one hand while the other had a finger gun pointed at you. "You need to tell me if you're acting like a fool for a reason."

Soshiro has had just about enough of your attitude lately.

Your jealous outburst was cute when he first heard about it, but the Operations trainees wanted nothing to do with him anymore after that. And he couldn't have that happening since they had to practise analysing vitals and situations and calibrating weapons with someone. He will have to pass on the task to the Platoon Leaders, but he needed to speak with them— and you.

You avoided him as much as you possibly could and everyone else picked up on it now because no one else spoke up whenever you two were in close proximity, as if they were waiting and anticipating for the two of you to reconcile. You didn't mention anything about leaving Tachikawa, too, since he found out earlier this week that your platoon was assigned under Ryo and Tae in the meantime.

"I gave Koganei an assignment. She's at Ariake," Mina told her Vice Captain as he inquired about your whereabouts. "She… didn't want me to tell you about it."

"Ah, I see," came Soshiro's flat response. "I apologise for draggin' the entire division in our…"

"She'll be back tomorrow. When she arrives, I'll need you two back here in my office to discuss something," she stated. "In the meantime, Hoshina, have you considered organising the files at your office?"

Letters were among the many things you and Soshiro shared, especially when you went to France to further your fencing skills. For the young man who loved to read and devoured nearly everything that had words on it, your letters to him were always a source of delight. When you were still in France, it took around 10 days for your letters to reach each other, so you always had something new to read almost every week.

He was utterly elated when he found yet even more letters from you addressed to him, though you never sent them his way because of how candid they were. It pleased him to no end to find out that his feelings for you were reciprocated. In your letters, he could trust you to give voice to the very depths of your emotions, even more now after he told you to write to him whenever you wanted to.

On his office desk sat a single letter in your familiar and favourite cream stationery, and it was only then he realised that his Captain's cryptic comment was meant to be a sign of sorts pointing to his most favourite means of communication with you, his most favourite person. The letter sat atop a number of document folders that had to be sorted out, but he'd figure those out later.

"To Hoshina Soshiro-副隊長,

I suppose I'm still at headquarters by the time you find this letter. I remember you once told me that I could write to you whenever I could, whenever I wanted to, especially if there were things on my mind that I couldn't speak out loud. It's embarrassing having to write something like this, but I feel like I can be honest with you here.

It was only recently that I realised that Vice Captain Hoshina Soshiro of the Third Division is perhaps the second most admired person in Tokyo. I say second because Captain Ashiro is still at the top of the list. Imagine that— your fiancé, one of the most admired persons in the city. The whole of Japan, even, now that I think about it.

You always claimed to be nothing special, but I can confirm with you that it wasn't true at all when I heard those little girls prattling about impressing you. They speak about you like you're some monolith meant to be worshipped… and the worst part is I completely understand them. I, too, look up at you in awe of your silent strength and skill and still hope that you will turn my way— even though I know that your gaze rested solely on me and that your heart is mine, even from long, long ago.

Truth be told, I can't handle the way other women speak about you. And it's beyond my control. You are just so amazing like that— And have you heard the way they talk about your body??? You've been objectified so many times now, I might as well burn down the base—

I know I must have been a brat this past week, but I promise you that my antics end now. Captain Ashiro scolded me in the bathroom sometime last week and told me to sort things out with you. She even said you must hand over my remaining brain cell because I clearly wasn't thinking straight these past few days.

I apologise for being such an insufferable person. I hope we can talk once I return from Ariake. The Captain of the First Division requested a blade master for close-quarters training, so Captain Ashiro sent me, claiming I am the second best Tachikawa can offer. You are, of course, a knife she can't afford to lose.

She also told me to beat up Captain Narumi in her stead, so there is that.

I'll bring back some Mont Blanc from that shop at Jiyugaoka. Let's have them with coffee and tea when I get back.

I love you dearly."

Soshiro was nothing but happy to see you back at Tachikawa a day later, the box of Mont Blanc you promised him nearly dropped in the process when he welcomed you back with a hug. He didn't let go despite your struggling and urging and whimpering at how embarrassing this was.

How could he let you go when you were holding him just as tight in the first place?

You both had barely set down your salutes when your Captain welcomed you into her office with a simple declaration, an order you couldn't refuse.

"I need you two to go on a vacation for me."

✦ Thank you for requesting! Nothing makes me happier than writing a request I know I can work with. 🍹 You can read more about requesting here. (Requests are closed at present. Thanks for your kind understanding!)

#songsofadelaidewrites💛#love notes to mari 💌#mari answers requests 🍹#kaiju no. 8 #kn8 #kaiju no. 8 spoilers #hoshina soshiro x reader #starry divider by @/cafekitsune

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fantaatix · 3 months ago

Text

a stolitz post? in the year of our lord??

warning this is genuinely a long ass post

okay so sometime last month i was watching 3bskyen’s JLMW reaction (really tells you how long i’ve actually been cooking this post), and he was talking about color theory or something but what caught my attention was that he was paused on THIS frame:

he said something about the red/blue contrast throughout the music video; red being symbolic of blitz (the moon) and blue being symbolic of stolas (the ocean (?)) and it got me thinking, i wonder what the gold might symbolize? because this definitely isn’t the first time we’ve seen the color gold in reference to stolitz. first think back to truth seekers, there’s gold in quite a few places

golden rails, golden feathers, golden shackles; this is why i say gold and not yellow. at first i thought it might be symbolic of the power imbalance, but that’d be too easy.

quite the selection of objects, isn’t it? rails imply safety but can also be restricting, the feathers seem harmless but then turn into shackles…possibly reminiscent of the nature the book deal and the role it actually played in blitz’s mind about his relationship with stolas.

but there’s one more thing i left out; the golden dust

...okay...don't laugh...

first time i saw this scene in truth seekers i was immediately reminded of shrek ever after

AND I’M NOT COMPARING BLITZ TO RUMPELSTILTSKIN, i’m not trying to imply they stole from shrek ever after, THAT'D be a stretch. if anything blitz is better compared to shrek himself, but i'm not gonna write about that because i Don't Want To

but if i’m remembering correctly, that movie revolved around the theme of taking good things for granted, like your partner and your friends, which aligns pretty well with how blitz’s bad trip ends:

“i believe your subconscious is trying to tell you that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy, but also craves it as well. it’s rather unfortunate, sir, considering it’s often how you treat those who stand by you, such as myself. are you worried i may have enough of it one day, as well?”

"you cannot fathom proper intimacy."

blitz doesn’t know how to be close to other people–i don’t think he understands the relationship he has with any of the people in his life.

we still don’t truly know blitz’s full belief on love and we can only deduce it from his actions; he says monogamy is boring but then goes on to stalk his monogamous employees, on their anniversary no less, bringing along his own singular date...

he focuses on the sex in his relationships because that’s what he’s good at; he finds sex less complicated than romance... and then struggles to get his asmodean crystal to open a portal because he can’t get it off.

he has this recurring pattern where the title of “best friend” eventually turns into something else, often unrequited...

“...my first ever friend!”

he didn't expect stolas' intimate attraction to him. stolas made the connection and it succeeded in making blitz feel guilty about stealing the book; that was why he stayed the night. blitz isn't used to not being rejected, even though he has a record of relationships that stopped once the Evil Four Letter Word came up. when he goes into a relationship, blitz has learned to not expect it to evolve past sex. love has negative connotations to him.

the worst part is we don’t know for certain WHY any of this is, or if it can even be chalked down to a singular thing

yeah, his mom died in a fire blitz caused, his best friend/crush lost his limbs in a fire blitz caused, he’s been treated as property since a young age; you can makes all kinds of correlations between these events and how they might have affected him later in life but as it stands now, we have no concrete answers other than the conclusion that blitz hates himself and has commitment issues.

but back onto that “taking things for granted” tidbit–subconsciously, he knows relationships can be good, but he feels he has to give up a lot of freedom in order to maintain one of his own.

also note how blitz is desperately crawling up the staircase, feathers kind of just hitting him haphazardly as he does so, as opposed to trip!moxxie who takes a few steps up after picking up a feather of his own volition. he knows moxxie’s relationship is more stable than any relationship he’s ever had, and yet:

“stop fucking talking, all of you!”

cue the gold dust.

now, i'm not saying the book deal was a good thing. in fact, it kind of reinforced the power imbalance between blitz and stolas. i'm saying that from blitz's perspective, it was a safeguard. any feelings he might have had for stolas before could be dismissed, and he does exactly that one episode prior;

"it's a transactional fucking, you see..."

what i think he does take for granted is the advice “moxxie” gives to him, his attempts to reach out in a meaningful manner, kind of like stolas’ attempts to reach out. he ignores them both; he’s too deep into his own denial.

also, STAIRCASES IN THIS FUCKING SHOW.

why do these fruity little men think so low of themselves and so highly of others??

i guess that's a bit of a rhetorical question, we all know the answer, but. wait. hold on a sec

ohhhh.

OOOHHHH, that's what this post was gonna be about!

i fucking GOT all of you, you thought i could go a post without talking about him you're WRONG and should feel SILLY.

so this was the OTHER thing i realised when watching 3bskyen's JLMW reaction: it follows the same theme as moxxie's bad trip!

JLMW vs. moxxie's bad trip

in helluva boss, we're used to seeing staircases being symbolic of a difference in power or importance, or a staircase to heaven, or a highly anticipated event going wrong *cough cough ozzie's cough full moon cough cough*

however, i think in the context of moxxie’s bad trip and JLMW, it can also be attributed to emotional distance. like stolas, moxxie's also looking for an emotional intimacy/understanding between him and blitz (he spends his whole trip actively trying to get on the same level as him for crying out loud).

this could also fit into blitz's bad trip; he's trying to get on the same level as stolas, but feels like even if he ever did, he'd still be inherently worthless. a "play thing".

he doesn’t know why anyone would want him for anything else, but he’s clearly not all about the hierarchy.

they need to get on the same level as each other emotionally; they need to break the power dynamic, and thats why the book deal had to go.

the difference in the symbolism is that while blitz has a straight and narrow path to trip!stolas, moxxie’s path to trip!blitz is this winding, unguarded staircase. he almost falls off.

now, compared to both of those, stolas’ path is a fucking stroll. albeit an emotionally damaging stroll, but it takes less physical strength.

conclusion; stairs are symbolic of a difference in power, but gold is symbolic of something else.

and there is a power dynamic between moxxie and blitz. it's not like stolas and blitz's dynamic, it's an artificial imbalance; blitz is the boss, moxxie is the employee. and moxxie has his own inferiority complex, which i think plays a role in it too.

the imbalance between stolas and blitz is kind of, unfortunately, inherited. but it's not impossible to manage. of course, stolas doesn't care about where blitz is on the hierarchy, he doesn't care about the hierarchy period. but it's still there. blitz cares because it affects him.

"you will be technically under his jurisdiction, but..."

this was problem one. stolas unintentionally demonstrating his power over blitz. "surprise, i technically made you someone else's property! please love me!" i'm exaggerating but this is definitely not the kind of thing you spring on your partner; they needed to talk about this beforehand, but according to stolas:

"no need for an arrangement, it can just be him and me!"

sigh. the many different ways this night could've gone

this is enough to trigger blitz's fight or flight. he wants to be with stolas, but he doesn't want the freedom to choose to be with him, which is problem two:

because blitz's belief of love is so inherently fucked up,

what are the chances that the very thing stolas gave to blitz to reaffirm his free will was just interpreted as another shackle?

blitz doesn't do commitment; stolas doesn't say "i love you", he doesn't need to. if you love something, you let it go, and if it comes back then it's yours--which happens in the very next episode.

blitz is the first person to mention love.

but if they want to love each other, they have to be equals, which was why the book deal had to go. they can't hold each other to these super high standards because that'd just set themselves up for disappointment. they have to be on the same level.

tldr: they're two sides of the same coin. literally!

color theory for dummies, a brief intermission

fun fact: i actually didn’t learn color theory in an art class, but in a textiles class. we love american education. but anyways, i’m gonna ask you to draw your attention specifically to the complementary colors.

we start the chorus of JLMW in a purpley sort of place, which then shifts into gold, and then into the red/blue contrast.

except red and blue aren’t complete opposites, they’re both primary colors.

if they wanted complete opposites, they could’ve used red and green, or blue and orange, which are admittedly uglier combinations but the point is that stolitz aren’t complete opposites.

however, purple and yellow, or gold, ARE complete opposites; they’re complementary colors. if purple is implied to be symbolic of stolitz together, then could gold imply stolitz apart?

well…no. i think that’s the wrong angle. if they wanted that contrast, they could have left the gold out entirely, because red and blue separate is stolitz apart.

so how are we supposed to deduce what the gold is actually symbolic of? because no, i don’t actually think it’s an extended shrek 4 reference. that kind of exclusively pertains to blitz’s trip.

listening to the lyrics in the gold part;

This unspoken contract

A deed we forged for mutual gain

If that's all this was when you're not here

What is this rooted pain?

I don't care that you're of lower station

Or primed to sate my dark temptations

Why can't you understand? Let me explain

And I'm terrified as I cry

To make these feelings true

What's left for me and my broken heart

If I cannot have you?

a direct mention of the book deal…and another mention of the power imbalance…so i realize am starting to sound insane, but please hear me out.

i think the main theme of helluva boss IS learning to love in spite of damages and traumas and insecurities–not ignoring either of those, but learning to work around them or possibly heal those parts of yourself so you can love someone else effectively. learning from mistakes.

so what if the gold is symbolic of the simple desire of a mutual understanding? or a meaningful connection with someone else?

tying it all back together somehow

both moxxie and stolas want to connect with blitz (in different ways), but for stolas, that means severing possibly the only thing connecting them thus far (the book). for moxxie, that means climbing the staircase and possibly being pushed even further away.

moxxie also has this high opinion of blitz despite all his obvious (and not so obvious) flaws. i think it's partially because of his own inferiority complex, but to him, blitz is the phantom--his scar becomes the mask he hides behind. he knows blitz puts on this loud, crude personality to hide his cracks and keep others away, and has a scarily accurate portrayal of him in his mind.

moxxie wants to be on the same level as blitz, and he knows it's possible to get there, because he's a damaged character himself and he gets it. he's just yet to take the actual first step.

stolas, even in his own imagination, doesn't think it's possible to be emotionally intimate until the deal is broken. he could reach for blitz, but blitz wouldn't reach back. he's not looking. not to mention the literal celestial view he has of blitz in his head.

while stolas can see blitz's damage, he can't fully comprehend it yet, partially because blitz won't give him the chance and partially because stolas isn't damaged in the same way he is. they both had deadbeat dads, but they adapted in different ways.

that's just the way trauma works, you adapt to deal with it, and then have to unadapt those unhealthy coping mechanisms once you're finally safe. it just takes a while for people to realize they're actually safe, and these fruitcakes are no exception.

conclusion? uhh, i don't know, i guess i don't really have one. just. enough with the discourse about these bitches i guess??? just give them each some time, change takes more than two seasons.

i guess i could compare the way the songs are set up but this was supposed to be out like two days ago and it's already 11:45 so. maybe some other time, maybe in a post about moxxie's Interesting taste in musicals

was unfortunately unable to finish the mox vs. fizz masterpost this month but we'll see sometime in the coming months, maybe sometime after the next helluva short comes out. been a bit too busy with school and other social things to have time writing these long asf posts about my skrimblos

okay goodnight o/

#helluva boss #moxxie #blitzø #moxxie knolastname #moxxie hb #moxxie helluva boss #stolas goetia #blitz #stolas #stolitz #helluva boss stolas #just look my way #truth seekers #is this enough fucking tags for you #stolas helluva boss #stolas hb #blitzø buckzo #blitzø hb

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spaceshipellie · 1 year ago

Text

we were never just friends

ellie williams x reader

part three (part one, part two, part four)

summary: modern!ellie, both in their mid twenties. ellie and reader have been friends for years, their friendship has always been somewhat flirty but nothing has ever happened. not yet anyway…

warnings: angst, ellie’s pov for a bit, loser ellie but also cocky ellie, gay pining, reader being chaotic, mdni

author’s note: i feel so evil for this. thank you sm to everyone who’s read/liked/commented/reblogged, it really makes my day considering this is my first fic, love you all <3<3

word count: 4k approx

“what the fuck have we done?”

“i’m pretty sure we just fucked,” ellie whispered, a smile evident in her voice.

you stared up at the ceiling, in disbelief at what just happened. it felt as though it all happened so quickly yet time seemed to have stopped. the dim, dark blue of the room and the midnight hour made it feel like you could spend an eternity here before returning to the real world.

“what are you thinking about?” ellie broke you out of your trance.

“i was just thinking…” your voice trailed off. what exactly were you thinking?

half of you felt a euphoria you’d never experienced in your life. this breaking of the threshold of your friendship with ellie dripped with temptation and you had to use every ounce of willpower to not reach out and grab it again.

however, the other half of you felt an uneasy sense of dread. you’d just fucked your best friend in a bed that was meant for you and your girlfriend that weekend. not only were you going to have to figure out what to tell kate, you were worried what this might do to your friendship with ellie.

you’d always been close and when friends get close, harmless flirting can sometimes follow. you could admit to yourself that at times you had felt jealous of the girls ellie dated and that she occasionally flustered you, but you never thought that meant anything. or rather, you’d never allowed yourself to think it meant something.

ellie meant the world to you and the idea of losing her made your chest ache. you had been in happy, loving relationships before which had come to a bitter end and you supposed, subconsciously, you had thought that if you couldn’t handle those relationships ending, how on earth could you cope if ellie left your life. staying friends had always been the safest option.

“i was just thinking about how i don’t want this to make things weird between us,” you confessed.

ellie immediately shifted to lie on her side, facing you.

“hey, it won’t,” she touched your cheek and you moved to your side to face her, hands tucked under your pillow.

“you’d have to try pretty fucking hard to get rid of me.”

you laughed, thankful for her encouragement. but the next thing she said made your heart drop.

“i don’t know what i’d do without you anyway.”

you looked at her, longingly, unsure of what the right thing to say here was.

you stroked a hand down her arm that was resting between you until you reached her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“i’m not going anywhere, i just have to figure out what i’m supposed to do.”

if it weren’t for the darkness you would have seen the sadness that took over her face.

“i know,” she said faintly.

you remained like that for a moment, sleep almost consuming you until she pulled her hand away and sat up.

“i should probably go back to my room, you know, incase they catch us in here together.”

she searched around for her clothes, muttering a “fuck” as she bumped into the dresser.

“do you want me to turn the light on?”

“no, no, it’s fine. i got it.”

she clumsily pulled her shorts and t-shirt on and paused at the door.

“night.”

“night, ellie.” and with that she left.

you ran your hands over your face and pinched the bridge of your nose. don’t even think about it, just go to sleep, you thought. you tossed and turned for a while, but eventually you drifted off.

˚ · • . ° .

when you awoke in the morning, you could barely remember where you were. that was until you caught sight of your underwear on the floor.

you dragged yourself out of bed and threw some pyjamas on so you could go and use the bathroom. after showering you went back to your room and got changed before heading downstairs. the creek the last step made caused everyone’s heads to turn in your direction.

“hey, you’re up!” dina beamed. you noticed she was putting together some breakfast.

your eyes immediately latched onto ellie’s who was sat at the kitchen table. you shuffled over and took a seat opposite her.

“smells amazing, deen,” you mused.

“thanks, there’s loads here so don’t be shy,” she said as she put the food on the table. a stack of four plates already there for you to take.

as you ate, you talked about what you might do that day. aside from you and ellie sneaking glances at each other from across the table, everything seemed normal.

freya had told you about a farmer’s market that was close by which sounded fun so you agreed that’s what you’d do that morning.

in the car on the way, you were sat next to ellie in the back. her knees were spread so one kept bumping into yours with every jolt of the car. you didn’t talk very much, content with just listening to dina and freya mostly, as well as the music that played. you felt sick every time you thought about what the hell you were supposed to do now. you knew you were going to tell kate but you didn’t know how and you didn’t know when. tomorrow you’d get back from this trip and then there were only a couple of days before you were leaving for california. looking out the window and biting your nails you wished you could just stay in this car and drive forever, far away from the mess you’d made.

“you okay?” ellie’s quiet voice snapped you out of it.

“yeah, yeah, i’m fine,” you gave her a weak smile. you wished you could tell what she was thinking. to be able to tell what that look in her eye meant.

suddenly, you felt the car stop and freya announced that you were there. you all clambered out, adjusting your tote bag on your shoulder, and headed towards the market stalls.

it was quaint and lively as you wandered around. you casually browsed everything from the fruit and veg stalls to the jewellery and art stalls.

“hey, you could sell your art, you know?” you said to ellie, gesturing towards a stall where a woman was selling watercolour and charcoal drawings.

“i don’t think i’m that good.”

you both slowly strolled on, dina and freya somewhere up ahead.

“yes you are, i love your art.”

she gave you a quick smile before shaking her head.

“i’m fine just doing it for me.”

you lightly nodded, looking at her face as she looked ahead. there was a hint of dejection in her expression and she was dragging her feet more than normal. without really thinking, you grabbed her hand and pulled her to the side, away from the flow of people. she stood in front of you, eyes scanning your face waiting for you to explain.

“we need to talk about this,” you rushed out.

she hung her head and lightly kicked a rock on the ground.

“yeah, we probably do.”

“i’m really sorry, i shouldn’t have done it and i–“

“will you stop apologising?”

her eye contact was more intense than it had been before and she sounded serious as she cut you off.

“sorry,” you mumbled out and she let out a laugh before composing herself.

“are you gonna tell her?”

“i have to. i mean, i’d want her to tell me if she…”

ellie just nodded, looking down at her feet.

“can i ask you something?” she said.

“of course.”

“do you hope she’ll forgive you?”

her question caught you off guard. yes, seemed like the right answer so yes, you hoped she did. but a tiny part of you was here, looking at ellie’s face, not caring whether kate did or didn’t. the anticipation in ellie’s voice also made you wonder why she’d asked you that.

“why do you ask?” your voice came out small.

“because,” she sighed, “never mind.”

“ellie…”

“no, it’s,” she waved her hand in dismissal, “it’s none of my business.”

your heart pulled. you wanted to know what she was going to say so badly but didn’t want to push. she gestured towards the stalls.

“let’s go find them.”

˚ · • . ° .

— ellie’s pov —

“ok,” your voice was quiet and deflated and it made ellie feel terrible.

she was so torn about what to do. what could she do except wait on the sidelines? she so desperately wanted to know when you were going to tell kate and selfishly, she wanted to know if you and kate would stay together.

last night was something she’d dreamed of happening for as long as she could remember. she felt dazed just thinking about it. the way your lips felt against hers. the way you whimpered when she touched you. the way you made her feel so good.

something amazing had finally happened between you both. the only problem was it had happened under the worst fucking circumstances. she could kick herself for not doing something about her feelings sooner, when you were single, and everything could have been good.

she hated herself for the way she lost her mind around you. normally, she was pretty confident with women, but with you, it’s like every time she saw you her biggest fear became you finding out that she liked you because what if you didn’t feel the same. what if you rejected her and it ripped the fabric of your friendship forever. but, you had kissed her back. you had wanted her. she just now needed to know how much. soon enough you both found dina and freya over by a fruit and vegetable stall.

“there you guys are,” dina said before looking at ellie, her smile dropping slightly. fuck, ellie thought, she knows somethings wrong.

the four of you continued walking around, you’d bought some food to have back at the cabin and when it was midday you decided to go back. the entire car ride ellie’s brain was just spinning in circles about what could happen next. she couldn’t decide if she wanted this trip to be over now so she could find out or if she wanted to savour every second she had left here, away from reality.

as soon as dina noticed you and freya distracted by putting the shopping away, she grabbed ellie’s arm and pulled her into a different room.

“is everything ok?”

“yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”

“come on, ellie, don’t give me that. what’s going on?”

ellie looked down at her hands and played with her rings.

“it’s nothing, really.”

“did something happen?” dina’s voice was hesitant, “with you guys?”

ellie’s head snapped up to look at her.

“no, why would you say that?” her voice came out defensive and dina closed her eyes for a second, pondering what to say.

“i’m not stupid, you know. i see the way you look at her. the way you’ve always looked at her.”

ellie couldn’t deny it anymore.

“shit,” she ran a hand through her hair, “i know, it’s bad isn’t it?”

“well, it’s not bad to have feelings for her. it’s just difficult as she’s with someone.”

“yeah,” ellie let out a small, sarcastic laugh.

“so, what are you gonna do?”

“nothing. absolutely nothing.”

dina looked at ellie and felt sad. she pulled her in for a hug and rubbed her back comfortingly.

“it’ll be ok. talk to me if you need to, i know what you’re like.”

ellie laughed but appreciated dina’s encouragement.

“can’t say i can make any promises.”

˚ · • . ° .

— your pov —

the four of you spent the rest of the day cooking, swimming, and playing board games. things between you and ellie seemed relatively normal, she had perked up a bit since this morning which you were glad about. then your phone buzzed.

kate 🩵

10:34pm

hope you’re having a good time. i’m visiting my parent’s atm so won’t see you until wednesday morning, can’t wait to go away with you xx

your stomach dropped. fuck. wednesday was the day you were traveling to california. kate’s parents lived miles away, you couldn’t just go and see her now. how the fuck were you supposed to tell her before you went away? you thought you could call but you wanted to tell her in person so you could talk properly. you wrote back an unsure reply.

you

10:37pm

okay, see you then. me too xx

you put your phone back in your pocket, not wanting to look at it again. everyone was getting tired so when dina and freya said they were going to bed, you quickly jumped up saying you were too. before you followed them upstairs, you turned to ellie.

“are we ok?”

she gave you a reassuring smile.

“yeah, we’re ok.”

you hugged for a moment, giving her a small squeeze before you pulled away and both went to bed.

˚ · • . ° .

“how fucking could you?”

“ellie, please. i’m sorry, i’m so so sorry.”

“i don’t care if you’re sorry, you fucked up. you’re a horrible person. you were a horrible friend and i never want to see you agai–“

your body jolted awake.

you had the worst nightmare and it took your eyes a minute to adjust to the room that was still dark. your eyes squinted as you looked at your bright phone screen. 2:17am. groaning, you swung yourself out of bed and made your way downstairs to get a glass of water.

“shit,” you jumped upon seeing a figure already leaning against the counter by the window. the only light in the room came from a tiny lamp.

“ellie, you scared me.”

“sorry.”

you went and leaned against the counter opposite her. she was wearing baggy sweatpants that hung low on her waist and a white tank top.

“can i have some of that?” you pointed at her joint.

“sure,” she said, passing it to you, “can’t sleep?”

you took a drag before shaking your head, “no, you?”

“no.”

it was silent as you passed the joint back and forth a couple times.

“this is pretty fucked up, isn’t it?” she half-heartedly laughed, bringing it to her lips, looking at you.

you laughed with her, folding your arms over your chest.

“it is pretty fucked.”

her eyes lazily trailed over your body making your cheeks heat up and you shifted from one foot to the other.

“this isn’t how i expected the weekend would go,” you tried to lighten the tension but it was useless.

“me neither,” ellie said mindlessly, stepping forward and pulling the spaghetti strap of your top back up onto you shoulder after it had slipped down. her fingers touching your bare skin made you shiver.

“what are you doing?” you warned.

“you can tell me to stop.”

she gently grabbed your arms and uncrossed them from your body before sliding a hand down to your waist.

“do you want me to stop?” she taunted, putting her other arm behind her to stub the joint out on the sink, her eyes never leaving yours.

“i–no?” your voice was a mere quivered whisper.

she smirked and her eye lids went heavy as she slowly placed a light kiss on your lips. her face was still close to yours when she pulled away but she wanted you to do something.

your hands were gripping the counter you were pressed against. her hand spread itself wide on your waist whilst the other leant on the counter behind you.

“this is such a bad idea,” you muttered before kissing her again. your hands moved to hold her face and you moaned a little into it, truly feeling erratic but it was all too tempting. her hips pressed into yours and pathetically you clenched around nothing, itching to have her hands on you in you again.

“fuck fuck, stop,” you whined, not wanting her to but you had to. she stopped kissing you but you still held each other close.

“ellie,” your voice cracked, “i can’t. i want to but i can’t.”

she leaned her forehead on yours and rubbed her thumb on your waist.

“okay.” her voice was barely above a whisper. your hands squeezed her shoulders before letting go and she slid her hand away from your waist.

you went back to bed wanting to punch yourself. how was this happening. you still couldn’t sleep, a million thoughts barrelling through your mind.

you had never fully addressed your feelings for ellie out of fear of getting hurt. well isn’t that fucking ironic, you thought. not only were you hurt anyway but you were hurting other people. you knew you were being a coward. if you could bring yourself to just ask ellie outright how she felt about you then maybe this would be easier. if you could have done all of this six months ago it would be easier. but you didn’t and now there was a heavy weight of anxiety drilling into you every time you thought about the consequences.

˚ · • . ° .

the next morning, you felt like a ghost. you were so unbearably tired after getting no sleep last night. you patted your cheeks trying to knock some life into you so you could get up and get ready. stumbling down the stairs you noticed only dina and freya were there.

“where’s ellie?”

“still asleep i think,” dina said. she looked at you with soft eyes as if she was trying to work something out. you ignored it, praying she hadn’t got a clue about what had been going on. it was nearly 11am and the plan was to have brunch at the cabin before heading home. you helped dina and freya get the food sorted and arranged on the table when ellie came downstairs, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

“morning sleepy,” dina cooed.

“morning,” ellie said sitting down next to you, but she didn’t look at you.

you were pretty much ready to go after you ate and cleaned up seeing as you didn’t really unpack. you loaded up the car with your stuff before heading off, dina taking charge of the music in the front.

“did you guys have a good time?” freya directed her question at you and ellie, catching your eye in the rear view mirror. at the same time you and ellie shot out, “yeah loved it,” and “yeah it was great.”

“thanks so much for inviting us,” you added.

“anytime.”

you and ellie ended up falling asleep on the drive home, not waking up until the car stopped. your eyes fluttered open and you realised your head had been leaning on her shoulder and hers on your head. slightly confused, you both sleepily looked at each other before realising that freya was parked outside ellie’s place.

“oh fuck, sorry,” she said. dina and freya giggled, giving each other a knowing look.

“it’s alright.”

ellie got out the car and grabbed her bag before bending down to see through the open window.

“thanks freya, see you later guys.”

she caught your eye for a split second before going inside. you slouched in your seat whilst freya started the car again, heading to your place to drop you off.

˚ · • . ° .

you’d mostly been working the last couple of days since the cabin weekend which was good because it took your mind off everything by about 2%.

you hadn’t seen anyone either which was just as well because your nerves were through the fucking roof. you had wanted to tell kate before you went away as you assumed you wouldn’t be going anymore after she found out. if only she hadn’t been away at her parents prior, because it was now wednesday, and kate was on her way over.

she burst through the door after you buzzed her into the building, immediately rambling about everything you had to do. she started listing off everything to make sure you’d got it and you kept trying to interject.

“you’ve got your passport? your kindle? your–“

“kate, i need to tell–“

“–your phone charger–“

“please, can we just slow down a minute?”

“we don’t have time, we need to leave in like 30 seconds,” she said rummaging through her bag, checking everything again.

“i know but i need to talk to you.”

“babe,” she stopped to look at you, “we’ve got all the time in the world to talk, when we get there.”

you wanted to just blurt it out and get it over with but something was stopping you. the words were getting stuck in your throat like you were trying to scream on command. you really wanted to tell her before california but stupidly, you found yourself boarding that goddamn plane.

kate had read her book the entire flight there so you read yours too. you were sat in a taxi on the way to the hotel when you remembered to turn your phone back on. a text had come through just a few minutes after you had boarded.

ellie 👽

12:38pm

have a safe flight x

your leg bounced as your thumbs hovered over your phone.

you

4:56pm

thank you x

you wanted the ground to swallow you whole. you wanted that stupid spaceship you and ellie had joked about to come crashing down on top of you. the taxi driver started pulling up at your hotel and helped you get your luggage out. you thanked him and went through to check-in.

kate started talking to the receptionist as you smiled at her then looked around the lobby. jesus, it was fancy, you thought. when you got to your room you let out a deep breath, dumping your things down and falling backwards on the bed, hands running over your face in post-travel exhaustion.

you felt the bed dip and a hand peel yours away until you saw kate above you. you dropped your hand on the bed and hers placed itself on your waist as she leant down to kiss you. you kind of hesitated to kiss her back but she didn’t seem to notice as she started leaving kisses along your jaw and down your neck.

“what time did we book dinner?” you asked. she kept kissing.

“kate?”

she hummed against your skin.

“what time did we book dinner?”

she stopped and looked at you.

“uumm, 7 i think? why?”

“just couldn’t remember.”

she started to push her hand up under your top before you suddenly grabbed it.

“i’m not– i’m sorry, i wanna go have a shower. wash the plane off me,” you said, starting to sit up making her move off of you. she didn’t say anything just let you go and lock yourself in the bathroom. you leant on the sink and looked at yourself in the mirror.

“you are such a bitch,” you mouthed to your reflection before sighing and stripping to get in the shower.

your evening consisted of going to dinner and drinking far too many cocktails which made you crash instantly when you got back to the hotel.

the next day, you got up leisurely. you removed your smudged makeup from the night before, chugged a pint of water and got yourself ready for a day of lounging on the beach.

“so how was your weekend?” kate asked from where she sat beside you.

“it was,” your voice cracked so you coughed to clear it, “it was good thanks, freya’s cabin is beautiful. how was your time at your parents?”

“great, haven’t seen them for a while so was good to spend some time up there.”

“aw good, i’m glad.”

the silence that followed was probably a comfortable one for kate as she started to get her book out of her bag again but it was a soul-crushing one for you. you got your book out too and pretended to read whilst you went over everything again in your mind.

your day at the beach was filled with lots of reading, swimming, eating, and spiralling. it was about 5pm when you got back to the hotel room. your body felt like it was about to enter fight or flight.

“is everything alright?” kate asked, noticing your fidgeting.

“um, yeah,” you tried to sound upbeat.

“it’s just i feel like you’ve been acting weird ever since we got here. in fact, you were acting strange before we left your apartment.”

you sighed. your timing honestly couldn’t be worse if you tried but it was now or never, you thought. you couldn’t avoid it anymore, you just had to rip it off like a bandaid.

“i was trying to tell you that i need to tell you something.”

“ok?”

you hung your head and squeezed your eyes shut.

“i slept with ellie.”

˚ · • . ° .

tag list: @ximtiredx @mattm1964 @robinismywifee @gold-dustwomxn @rolly-pollie @sapphicproblem @harrysslutsstuff

an: this was probably the hardest part so far to write because i had no idea how to get the reader to tell kate. i know they’re SO MESSY BUT THATS RHE POINT

#spaceshipellie fics #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams #ellie williams smut #ellie x reader #ellie smut #ellie tlou #the last of us #tlou 2 #ellie williams x female reader #best friends to lovers #ellie williams angst #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams fic #ellie williams fanfic

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