#and sometimes regulus doesn’t give him more and leaves him all hard and desperate

[aiden-writes-gay-stuff]

whenever james and regulus get into an argument where neither of them want to apologise first, regulus will tease james as much as he can until he caves and says sorry first

like, he’ll wear sexy underwear, bend over as much as he can, and when he feels that james is about to cave, he starts rubbing him through his pants and gets him hot and bothered

and when james asks for more, regulus says “just say you’re sorry, baby. come on. say it and I’ll give you more”. and obviously james apologises

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

Hey, you once mentioned something about Tom Riddle being a little suicidal. Your new post reminded of that and I wonder why you think that. It’s the complete opposite of what the books want you to think.

Alright, it’s time, let’s do this.

My standard disclaimer whenever we venture into the dark pit that is my thoughts on Tom Riddle: I’m going to say a lot of controversial stuff that fandom generally doesn’t agree with, I will say so much of this shit that I simply do not have time to explain it all, I expect 99% of you to disagree with me and the other 1% to be so horrifyingly offended that I dare to contemplate a world in which Tom isn’t always an overly competent psychopath that they leave me notes telling me to take this trash out of their character tags.

We good? Alright.

So, when I say a little suicidal, I mean that he is suicidal.

Not on the level that he’s going to kill himself tomorrow, or even has plans to kill himself, but in that he makes very strange decisions for someone who desperately wants to live.

And yes, I realize I speak blasphemy given that Tom Riddle’s entire m.o. is supposed to be his crippling fear of death.

Oh man, this one’s going to be so long.

So, my reasoning comes down to a few things:

The location of the horcruxes and the nature of their protections.

The events of Deathly Hallows and Tom’s final actions in the novel

The nature of horcruxes and what it means to not only be able to create one but what it does to you (caveat that I am going to headcanon hard here and speak utter blasphemy)

So, let’s start in order this time, because I think the first two are actually far easier for me to explain.

The Location and Nature of the Horcrux Protections and the Trouble with Backdoors in Security

So, first, the horcruxes are all conveniently located in Great Britain. Not even just in Great Britain, all in places that Albus Dumbledore and later Harry Potter can track down with relative ease, all fairly close to each other.

Now, part of this is undoubtedly attributable to Tom’s overly romantic nature. 

Yes, Tom Riddle is a giant romantic, though not necessarily in the traditional sense everyone thinks of. The film “Patton” and its treatment of Patton comes to mind. Tom Riddle is a man enamored by a sense of greatness, of being remembered in this world rather than fading into oblivion, by the significance of places and times in history not only of the world but of himself. He creates an entire, grand, persona for himself because to live an ordinary life for him is to be worthy of nothing.

So, given that, of course Tom places the horcruxes in sentimental locations that have personal meaning to him.

However, it also makes them perilously easy to find and collect.

By itself, this wouldn’t spark my notice.

The ability to destroy horcruxes are not easy to come by. There’s only one basilisk and it’s by chance/Lucius fucking up that Harry gains access to the necessary basilisk venom. Using Fyendfire is an incredibly dangerous thing to do and just as likely to blow up you and the next three towns over as it is to destroy a horcrux. And if there are other means of destroying a horcrux they’re just as hard to come by or just as dangerous.

It’s not quite throwing it into the fires of Mt. Doom from which it was forged but it’s pretty damn close.

So, really, without JKR’s convenient Deus Ex Machina giving both him and Dumbledore the means to actually destroy these things, Tom Riddle’s horcruxes are pretty damn safe no matter where we put them. As we see from the locket, which Regulus manages to collect but Kreacher cannot destroy even after several decades.

However, what does spark my notice, is that the horcruxes can be collected by someone other than Tom Riddle when it appears as if they were never intended to be. What do I mean by this?

From what we see, there’s no benefit to Tom if the original horcruxes are found by anyone. He doesn’t seek them out to restore his original body, they’re just anchor points that should be hidden at all costs. So, he’ll never need a Death Eater to go collect them for him should he be indisposed (indeed, to do so would require a tremendous amount of trust in people he has very little trust in). 

So, why hide them in such a way that others can access them? There are canon based options which would have prevented anyone else from reaching them. Given the existence of age lines, I imagine Tom Riddle could make some arbitrary barrier keyed only to himself. There are mokeskin pouches, such as the one Harry is given in the seventh book, which we know can only be accessed by whoever they’re keyed to. There’s the Fidelius Charm which, true requires a secret keeper which Tom would be very meh on, but options exist.

Tom Riddle could wipe the locations of his horcruxes off the face of the map. He chooses not to. Which leads me to believe that, at least on some unconscious level, he wants the horcruxes to be found.

Then we have the protections.

Specifically, I’m thinking of the locket here.

Yes, the protections are very formidable, but they’re also goddamn weird. 

Rather than make the horcrux simply inaccessible, kill all those intruding, instead the intruder has to go through a very “Saw” like puzzle in which they drown themselves in despair until they finally get the locket, at which point they likely suicide by zombie.

More, there’s no hint that there’s any other way to retrieve the locket. 

Backdoors in security are a very bad idea. What they do is weaken the security as a whole and, if you can take a short cut is, it means that someone who is clever enough and motivated enough can to. Dumbledore is both clever and motivated enough, and I imagine if there was a way to get the horcrux that involved not doing this ridiculous task he would have done it.

More, we’d be back to the land of Tom making sure only he can access the horcrux by requiring a password, keying it to his magical signature, or something so that no one else could get it.

Which means, that’s right, if Tom wants to get the locket he’s drinking the goddamn despair juice just like the rest of us.

What kind of a person would do any of this?

I’ve gone over this before, but I don’t think Tom Riddle’s crazy. Rather, in this case, I think he’s driven by an unbelievable amount of nihilist rage and is also quite depressed.

Tom goes to collect his horcrux, “Ah, it’s time to remember what a miserable life I’ve led and the sheer awfulness of my own existence. Good, I was starting to feel a little too happy. Let’s see if I get eaten by my undead, vengeful, victims today.” 

The Events of Deathly Hallows and Tom Riddle’s Death

I think Tom Riddle’s final death in the books was suicide.

Tom takes over the Wizarding World, finally, and it’s as miserable as ever.

He’s trapped in this sham, barely functional, probably very painful body. His Death Eaters are completely out of control and for all that he wanted society to burn it’s now burning and no one’s even learned anything from this. Children in Hogwarts are being routinely tortured and have now staged a rebellion in which he’s having to slaughter them (I have reasons to believe that this is not what Tom Riddle wanted, at all, but that’s best saved for another post), and then he learns his horcruxes have all been destroyed without him even noticing.

There’s so little left of him, he has accomplished nothing, and there’s Harry Potter back from the dead yet again, gloating at him that love conquers all and Tom Riddle will never understand.

And Harry’s right, Tom Riddle will never understand, the world is meaningless and flat to him now and he finally understand that there’s no point to it. I think Tom Riddle decides he’s done. He’s just done.

He enters in a duel with Harry Potter knowing the weird nature of their wands. Now, it can be assumed he used the Elder Wand, but we know they get locked in Priori Incatatum , and that makes no damn sense with the Elder Wand (well, wandlore in general is silly, but I’m working with what JKR gave me here). So I choose to take JKR at her somewhat established canon and say that, no matter what Harry thought, Voldemort was using his original wand.

He throws out the killing curse, despite having now witnessed Harry resurrecting twice to this thing, and within two seconds it rebounds and kills him.

Voldemort’s death is a lot like this scene from the recent, terrible, 2020 live action Mulan (10/10 do not recommend).  Now, we’re supposed to think that this scene is the witch saving Mulan’s life and thus showing her hope for the next generation. In actuality, the witch literally flies into an arrow she could have easily deflected from Mulan’s path. It’s a suicide that Mulan is too stupid to notice.

Tom chooses suicide in the most ridiculous, flamboyant, and easily written off manner one can and no one even notices. Instead Harry crows that he has personally defeated Voldemort, with the power of love no less, HUZZAH!

And the castle parties.

The Nature of Horcruxes

I almost don’t want to include this because it’s so... well, I’m really drifting far from canon and fandom now.

However, with horcruxes, there’s always an overriding question of why Tom is able to make so many when we don’t see anyone else with these things around (especially as it’s clear that murder doesn’t simply happen for those that now have horcruxes).

Usually, you have fic authors just sort of shrug and go, “Well, he’s that evil, I guess.” Sometimes you have them go, “No one else is crazy enough to keep going, and that’s why Voldemort’s cuckoo bananas.” 

One very good explanation I’ve seen is that it’s because most people, when they murder, feel remorse immediately. The soul split happens, but they’re haunted by the murder for the rest of their life, and thus the horcrux isn’t made. Voldemort, feeling nothing when he kills anyone, is thus able to make them even for when he’s only indirectly associated with the death in question.

However, to me that never really jived philosophically.

Mostly, I simply cannot imagine that tearing apart your very soul is an act of indifference. Here’s how I see it: to do something like that to yourself, you must care, you must care beyond all imagine and human endurance. Your soul literally cannot abide it and saws itself in half, purging what you cannot stand about yourself the most. 

The remorse part is, yes, remorse for the act and the victim but more to the point it is the ability to forgive and reaccept the worst part of yourself. That part of yourself that you purged and destroyed, which is nearly impossible to do and might very well destroy the fabric of who you are). 

In other words, while creating a horcrux is an abominable act of hatred, it is also one of profound self-hatred.

Tom Riddle loathes himself so much that he is able to do this over and over and over again. 

As Tom Riddle goes on he makes himself into less and less and less of himself until he probably doesn’t even know who he is anymore. He just knows, whatever is left of him, he loathes that too. 

And then, of course, he gives up, runs into the nearest flying arrow, and dies.

TL;DR: Tom Riddle’s is a miserable existence that ended in a miserable if unintentionally hilarious manner

[roonilwazlibimagines]

hi im reg anon to elaborate that reg was in a relationship with an innocent muggleborn and he felt as if he was better than ber (internalized blood purity) and he slowly falls in love with her

Ok I will give you a few ideas about my plan if I were to make this into a series or just something a bit longer - also didn’t realise how long this would be,,, oops

I feel like the reader would either have to be in ravenclaw or hufflepuff - but that isn’t something that really matters

And maybe they’re paired up to do an assignment together in like their sixth year - which is also the year that he got the dark mark 

And you’re just trying to make conversation with him, but he keeps just giving you nods or just not replying because he knows you are a muggleborn and is kinda upset that he has to be paired with you

But you just keep talking to him - just innocently trying to make small talk

And maybe you even talk to him outside of class and he is literally just in shock because he really doesn’t understand why he thinks you’re worthy to talk to him

And maybe it is in front of all the other Slytherins who are sniggering and he tells you to go away and probably calls you a mudblood and you’re just kinda in shock because you had been so nice to him and this was how he spoke to you?

So then the next lesson when you are working on your assignment you’ve barely said a word to him and for some reason that really annoys him and he asks if you’re really not going to speak to him and you just look at him and he rolls his eyes

And the following lessons are the same but Regulus doesn’t really try to make anything better because he has better thoughts than his muggleborn potions partner 

But sometimes he has to talk to you and he doesn’t know why but there is a weird feeling in his tummy whenever he talks to you and you just look up at him with the saddest eyes and their is faint pout forming on your lips 

And then maybe because they have been like this it is making it hard for them to do their assignment so they have to meet up outside of class and they go to the library and she is still not talking to him - and neither is really him to her, but Regulus always gets good marks and he isn’t going to let a stupid muggleborn stop this

So he kinda has a little rant to you about it and says that you have just got to get over it because it is both of your grades and he isn’t going to fail because of you

But this only makes you more upset and you’re trying to act like everything is fine but Regulus can hear the little quiver in your voice and you’re still hunched in your chair

And then if we want smut,, this would be when he grabs your face in his hands and (if we want mean dom Regulus he would say you were pathetic lowkey) if it was soft dom Regulus he would tell you that he has a way to make you feel better

And you’re just in shock because he hates you and he isn’t really sure why he wants to do it but maybe it is just because he is really tired and the lightings really low and he kinda just wants to let out his anger at the whole situation because he hates that he feels this way because he is a death eater

But if this was smut, it would literally just be him torturing you because even though he was proud to be a death eater he still wasn’t going to go showing you his dark mark, mainly because he didn’t want you to tell others but also because he thought it would upset you,,, because apparently it was easy for him to upset you

And if this was smut it would be very rough and Regulus would just be mocking you and overstimulating you

If it wasn’t then he would just kinda apologise to you

But anyways, the next lesson it was surprisingly the most awkward it had been because he neither of you really knew what to say to each other

And he would tell you to meet him in the Room of Requirement that night 

He would go on another rant about how you are just a stupid muggleborn and he really doesn’t know why he finds you so interesting but he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you and if it was smut he would fuck you but if it wasn’t you would just talk

But either way there were a lot of angry vibes coming from him because he really hated how weak you made him

And you two would keep meeting up but he would act like you didn’t exist whenever he saw you, especially now that the project was over

And you really didn’t know what was going to happen with him but he kept asking to meet up with you and (I’m thinking that this works best if it is smut) each time it was basically like a hate fuck but like he was really good at it and you knew that you probably deserved better but no one had ever fucked you like he had and you were more than happy to keep going back to him

But he would always make sure that his dark mark was covered

And then there would be a chapter about you finding out that he was a dark mark,, it was probably during sexy time and by accident and this would be the point where you have a big fight and you’re crying and Regulus is actually showing some other emotion besides anger and hatred and he is holding onto your arm and begging you to stay but you don’t

And he keeps making eye contact with you but you keep looking away because you’re actually kinda scared now because you know death eaters are killing muggle borns

And he would probably send you letters (because I feel like the Blacks are very old school and love old romance) and little gifts and you would receive them every morning but you would just throw them out and if you weren’t afraid to look at him you would see his face fall every time you did so 

But anyways, one day he would literally pull you into an empty classroom and you’re freaking out because who knows what he is going to do to you he is trying to calm you down and tell you that he isn’t going to hurt you and you’re kinda just frozen on the spot

But he has another little rant at you about how he realises now that he kinda actually liked spending time with you and you don’t believe a word he is saying and you’re also trying to tell him that he just liked you for the sex but he swears that it isn’t and he gets all dramatic about it and is like I would literally take veritaserum to prove this to you

So you start to believe him but then he is like okay cool but we can’t tell anyone

And that makes you really upset because what is the point of taking things further with someone if they’re embarrassed to be seen with you 

And to make things dramatic you probably storm off again but Regulus really can’t be public with you because they would probably kill you

Maybe we could add a scene where you are talking to Sirius and he gets really fucking jealous 

But he is literally plagued by the thought of you which is a real issue because during the break between sixth and seventh year he is obviously working with Voldemort and the rest of the death eaters who all love occlumency and is desperately reading up on how to stop it so they don’t know you’re thinking of you

And then maybe someone - like Snape or something - idk like maybe they’re practising because they were probably like at least acquaintances considering they were both death eaters

And Snape is really good at it and of course he sees you and he knows who you are and he warns Regulus that he can’t be seen with you otherwise both of you will probably die and Regulus gets really defensive and probably says that you were just a good fuck to him or something

But then he regrets it immediately and he is sending letters to you but you don’t reply to him

So anyways now you are in your last year and it seems you and Regulus are always near each other and you keep trying not to look at each other

But you both really miss each other and this time it is you who breaks and sends him a letter and you meet up at the room of requirement but neither of you really know what to say so you just have sex but this time it isn’t as rough 

And afterwards Regulus is asking if you got his letters and you say you did and he asks why you didn’t reply and you don’t really know where you’re getting this confidence from but you’re telling him that you didn’t want to and leaving it at that because you don’t owe him an explanation

And there is an underlying understanding that you both won’t work out together, but you guys keep meeting to fuck 

And you would have a lot of heart to hearts, like he would tell you about his family and how he became a death eater and everything

And maybe just for dramas sake there is a moment where some of his Slytherin friends are like threatening you because you’re a muggleborn and then he comes over and he is about to help them but then he realises it is you and freezes and he says that you’re not worth their time and your heart is literally about to explode because it isn’t fair that this is your situation

But after that you’re never the one to initiate anything because it is probably better that you distance yourself from him because there is literally a war about to happen and you’re both on opposing sides

And fucking him just isn’t the same anymore but there isn’t much longer until the year finishes and you don’t really know what’s going to happen when school finishes so you just let whatever happens happens

But then like a few weeks before school finishes Regulus is asking to meet you but this time it is just to talk about what will happen and you decide that you’re going to call it off because it really won’t work

But he gets really angry at that and you end up having a massive fight and you’re both seething but it really settles the matter and for those last few weeks of school you both are just glaring and sneering at the other

But we aren’t finished,,, because then one day you’re just like chilling and suddenly Regulus has apparated to your house and you’re so confused and mean Regulus would make a comeback and he has just finished a death eater meeting (because I have a request for this specific scenario and it would just fit so well) and you’re literally brought back to the time where he first fucked you and he was really rough

But then he kinda just gets ready to go straight away and you get angry because you’re like you can’t just come here to fuck me and then leave and he sorta just replies watch me and apparates

And you’re so angry,,, but then like a week later he apparates back again and you’re yelling at him and telling him if he thinks he is just going to be able to use you then he is pathetic but he is telling you to shut up because he has news

And he is telling you that he found out how to defeat Voldemort and you really don’t believe him at first but then he tells you what happened and suddenly all your anger is vanished because all you can think of is that you might finally get the chance to be with him, properly

So you’re encouraging him and you guys probably fuck as a celebration and then there is a really sweet goodbye 

And it would end with you finding out that he died and literally being so heartbroken

[inkandpen22]

Young Hearts Divided (11/?)

Pairing: Sirius Black x Female!Reader/ James Potter x Female!Reader

Warnings: grief, mild arguing, fluff 

Word Count: 1.9k

Part Summary: While Y/N is struggling to cope with the news of her brother, Sirius is lost as to how to help

Masterlist

Sirius

I hear the others approaching to join Remus and I by the Black Lake. Y/N hasn’t moved from that spot under the young oak for sometime now. I was worried before she sat down, now I’m afraid. I’ve never seen Y/N this way. Usually she never stops talking- and I love that about her- but she hasn’t said a word in hours. I feel terrible because there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve never felt so helpless. Even when I’m home with my parents I can control the situation to an extent, but not here, not now. 

Out of the corner of my eye, Lily settles down beside me. Then, there’s a pat on my shoulder, then a comforting grip. James. 

“How long has she been like that?” Lily glances between me and Remus. 

All I can seem to do is watch Y/N, make sure she’s alright. For some reason, I’m afraid she may disappear. If I glance away, even for a moment, she’ll be gone. 

“A while,” Remus mutters with a rare gloominess in his tone. 

“How long is a while?” James inquires. 

“Hours,” Remus shrugs, sounding uncertain of the the exact time. 

“All day,” I correct sharply, finally breaking my silence. 

They must know the severity of this. They need to understand how much this is affecting Y/N. 

Lily shifts closer to me, eager to learn more. “Has she eaten anything? Had a sip of something?” 

“No.” My answer is plain, short, and to the point, exactly how we should be acting in order to fix her. 

Lily sighs, Well we should-” 

“What do you suggest Lily?!” I snap, finally looking away from Y/N to address her. “If you have any bright ideas by all means share it with the rest of the class! We’ve tried everything and no matter what we do nothing works!” 

Lily cowers, struck hard by my uncharacteristically harsh remarks. 

“Sirius...” James states my name disapprovingly yet calmly with understanding as a best friend should. 

He is right though... I shouldn’t have snapped. None of this is Lily’s fault, nothing is ever really Lily’s fault. 

“Alright, I’m sorry!” I rush out. “I just... I don’t know how to help her! I don’t know how and... and she...” 

I find myself struggling to find the right words. I want to help Y/N, but I don’t know how. 

“It’ll be alright,” Lily assures, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. 

She offers me a kind smile, one I’m all too familiar with. How can she say that when there’s nothing we can do? 

“Are you sure of that? Really?” I question baffled. “Because I have no clue how this will turn out. I don’t know how she’ll recover from this. If what McGonagall said is true, Y/N and her family, they... What would you do Lil? How would you feel if you found out your parents or sister have betrayed you?” 

“None of us understand like you do, Sirius,” she points out a reality I hadn’t considered. 

“Me?” I frown in confusion. 

“Your family, Narcissa, Belatrix, your parents, Regulus,” Lily begins to explain. “They may not be Death Eaters, but they see sense in You-Know-Who, right? You understand Y/N’s situation better than anyone. You don’t know what to do? All you can do is be there for her. Talk to her. When you have nothing say, simply sit with her. All you can do is be present, care, and listen when given the chance.” 

“She’s right,” James adds in agreement. 

“Sometimes the best you can do is be there,” Remus determines. 

I take a moment, processing what my friends have advised me to do. Despite their wisdom, I’m still hesitant. They carry a lot of faith in me. Lily is right, my cousins, brother, entire family haven’t exactly be withholding of their true feelings when it comes to Muggles. In fact, they might as well just declare themselves Death Eaters in order to cease the confusion. Everybody already accuses them of being ones. 

Taking a deep breath, I rise from my position on the grass and brush down my uniform. Y/N remains still, watching the ripples of the lake as she has all day. I wonder what’s going through her mind. Oh what I would give to hear her speak to me. It could be about anything, something as small as a homework assignment. I just want to hear her voice. 

Cautiously, I begin to approach her at a steady pace. I don’t wish to frighten her, but I also don’t want to creep up on her. Perhaps, if I walk normally and act normal, that would make her feel better. I’m certain she hears me coming despite her lack of reaction. It doesn’t help that I feel the others’ eyes on me. They’re all waiting to see what happens. 

Maintaining my composure, I steadily ease myself down onto the grass beside her. Her sight remains ahead, somewhere along the horizon. Her eyes are narrow into slits from the bright sun on the ripples of the water. I turn my head toward her to catch a better glimpse of her face and she still doesn’t react. Her lips remain in a soft frown and her features gloomy. I swallow hard, bringing my attention back to the horizon. I don’t what do. How do I help her? How do I take the pain away? 

Unexpectedly, Y/N’s hand glides over my fists gently and gives them a slight squeeze. Bewildered, I snap my head in her direction. Unfazed, she slowly rests her head on my shoulder. Afraid that the slightest movement will cause her to cower, I remain still. She scoots closer to me and slips her arm through mine, clinging to me. Hesitantly, I plant a kiss to her forehead. I’ve missed her presence. Her closeness to me. 

Resting my chin on top of her head, I stare off into the distance as a though crosses my mind. Then, the thought simply leaves me. “I know this doesn’t help, but I love you...” 

My voice is so faint I nearly lose it in the slight breeze brushing through the valley. There’s a prolonged pause and I debate within myself whether she missed it or I made the situation worse. Perhaps she didn’t want to hear that. Maybe I messed up. 

“It does help,” she whispers as her fingers tighten around my bicep. 

And finally, I can breathe again. At least for now, I’m not losing her. 

__________________________________________

Later that night... 

Y/N

Late following a stroll about the castle after dinner, Sirius and I return to the Common Room. It’s empty as the others have gone to bed. I won’t lie and say I’m not a tad relieved everyone’s to bed. I’m not sure I could handle everyone’s starring. At dinner, everyone tried their best to act like everything is normal, but even Lily couldn’t fake a smile. 

Sirius and I lay on the couch facing each other. The faint cracking of the fire fills the silence. A nice thick wool blanket keeps us warm and I find myself more at ease than I’ve been the last few days. He brings his warm hand to my cheek and brushes his thumb across it. My eyes fall shut at the sensation. Sirius, a blanket, a fire, a couch, and silence is like heaven to me. It’s my safe haven. 

“I think I should go see my brother,” I mumble. 

I already know what Sirius is going to say. Right on cue, his features change to express hostility. The peace moment already becoming a distant memory. 

“Go-” he inhales sharply. “Go see your brother? Seriously, Y/N?! Do you have any idea how dangerous that could be?!”

“Come with me then!” I plead, griping his hand in mine. 

He yanks his hand from me and sits up in a jolt. “That doesn’t by many means change the level of danger!”

I sigh, leaning up to sit beside him. My arm rests across his back as I rest my chin on his shoulder. “He won’t hurt me Sirius. He wouldn’t, couldn’t.”

“He’s a Death...” he stops himself before he says it.

My head snaps up from its position on his shoulder. “He might be,” I correct him. “We can’t be sure!” 

“Either way, it’s too risky!” Sirius declares as though it’s law now. 

Sirius shakes his head repeatedly as he avoids my gaze. His lower lip remains bit beneath his teeth. It doesn’t take a genius to see that his mind is traveling miles a minute. 

“Please Sirius...” I whisper desperately. “I have to know...”

He sighs deeply as his head falls. “You’ll go no matter what I say, right?”

“Probably,” I answer honestly. 

I don’t have a choice. I have to know. 

“Alrighty then,” he exhales sharply, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck. “We’ll do a day trip to London I guess. We’ll have to be smart about it though, to avoid suspension.”

I nod frantically, excited that he’s doing this with me. I knew it would be a long shot that he would agree to it at all. “We’ll use the tunnels and leave from the Shrieking Shack,” I suggest. 

His brows scrunch together. “Wait, how do you know about the tunnels?”

“Remus showed me once,” I explain plainly. “You don’t actually think I believed your little story about the four of you hiding in the Room of Requirement during Remus’s changes?” I giggle. He would too. 

He shrugs, appearing a tad offended. “I thought it was pretty convincing...” 

“You couldn’t possibly contain a werewolf in there!” I laugh. 

Sirius leans in a plants a quick peck to my temple. Then, he takes my face in his hands, making me stare into his eyes. “Just promise to never follow us on a full moon and to never go to the shack without me! If anything ever happened to you, I... I wouldn’t know what to do-” 

Interrupting his request, I plant a kiss to his lips. At first, he’s caught off guard, unsure of what to do. Then, he leans into the action hungrily. Before we both get too caught up in the moment, I break from him and rest my forehead against his. 

“Promise,” I smile. 

He shares my smile and brings his lips to mine again. Only this time, it’s gentle and more like we’re sealing the promise. 

“But promise me something in return,” I mumble against his lips. 

He leans back to meet my eyes. A brow rises with curiosity. “What is it?”

“Promise me that you won’t do anything reckless during a full moon. Every month I’m so afraid that you’ll sacrifice hour safety to protect Remus or the others,” I confess a worrisome thought that’s been bothering me for quite some time. “I lay awake at night asking the universe to keep you safe-” 

“I promise,” he blurts out without a second thought. 

It brings an immense wave of relief to finally confess my worrying and for him to be so compliant. 

“Y/N...” He wraps an arm around me, bringing in closer, if that’s even possible. “I would never do anything that would risk me losing you. I genuinely see us together for the rest of our lives. After we’re done here, we have the entirely world to see. I don’t want to lose a chance at that.” 

I lift my hand up and brush my fingers through his long black strands. Goodness, I love him so much. It amazes me sometimes how much I love him. I’m so thankful for Sirius. I look forward to forever with him if it will be just like this moment. 

____________________________

Masterlist

Tags:  @hannah220506 @agirlwholovescoffee-blog @a-classic-eye@devilstradegy @blackbirddaredevil23 @tay-mariee @blackpinkdolan @findzela @emilianamason @missryerye @loonyslytherin

[llendrinall]

Here's a prompt for you.

Draco and Harry are dating and taking it slow (no one is aware & they started dating after the both of them had begun to go to therapy and heal a bit) and while they've together for a year (now its not somethin that either of them hide but they also dont go out and pronounce anything) they find an orphanage in the muggle world and they hang out with the kids and end up falling inlove with between 1-4 of the kids over time and both the Weasley's and Malfoy's find out about their relationship when they show up with their newly adopted child/ren.

"I thought you knew we were together"

"We thought you were becoming friends Harry!"

Draco saw the kid first. Not that it matters, but Harry claims that it was all his idea when, in truth, Draco saw the kid first and immediately knew what was going to happen. This is Harry, after all. Draco could have distracted Harry, insist they took the other exit of the restaurant, anything. But he did none of that because (don’t tell anyone this) Draco Malfoy might have a heart of his own and he was curious about the kid sitting under a lamppost with a book.

His names is Liam and he was doing homework. There is a lounge in the orphanage where, theoretically, children can do their homework. But the place is very noisy and there are some older kids who pick on Liam. Unless it’s raining heavily, Liam prefers to be outside where he can have some peace. He could go to the library and he usually takes refuge there, but it closes early on Fridays.

They had just had dinner, but they go back to the restaurant so Liam can work at a table where is warm and well lighted. The waitress gets Liam extra bacon in his sandwich and doesn’t charge them for it.

Harry surprises Draco because he doesn’t immediately take Liam with him, even though it’s clear that’s what he wants to do. He does say he would like to visit Roberta Clark’s Children Home and looks softly pleased when Draco says he will go with him.

They have been together for almost a year now, soft and tentative and careful because they both want this and are afraid to ruin it with a false step. They have just started to talk about living arrangements, although in a very vague way. Tonight, however, Draco begins a ruthless campaign against Harry’s house which is well located in London, yes, but it doesn’t have a garden unlike Draco’s house in Virginia Water, and it has one less room than Draco’s (not accounting for the music room), and it’s very dark. Draco can’t imagine children growing up happy here. Poor Sirius. And poor Regulus.

Harry is pissed, which is further proof that he needs Draco in his life because, Morgana, is he easy to read and manipulate.

That Thursday the two of them visit Roberta Clark’s Children Home where they are welcomed by the rudest social worker to ever plague the Earth. The deputy Director isn’t much better. She doesn’t like it when Harry points they have mold on the walls, all twenty-three times.

(This is one of the many reasons Draco loves him. For a hero of the light, Harry is a terror).

Draco walked in there knowing fully well they were going to adopt Liam, hence his campaign for the Virginia Water’s house because no child of his will grow up in Grimmauld Place. Children who grow up in Grimmauld Place become unhappy adults who die before their time. Draco thought that maaaaybe Harry still believed he was only going to show an interest in the institution and hand them money to improve the living conditions; but Draco knew there was no way Harry would leave Liam in there. The kid is eleven! An orphan! Harry can lie to himself all he wants. He will be Liam’s legal father inside a month.

What Draco didn’t expect was to get a child of his own.

Her name is Jamie, JamieTheGirl. There is a boy named Jamie and simply Jamie, not JamieTheBoy, because Jamie is a boy’s name. This is explained to Draco in a rush, with a mixture of pain and bratty attitude that speaks to him directly. JamieTheGirl hates her name, her haircut, the horrible dress she is forced to wear and Mister Gladwell, who is the rude social worker. JamieTheGirl wanted to know if Liam is lying, because Liam said he knew them (them being Draco and Harry) but Liam is eleven and everybody knows that nobody wants kids older than ten. Seven is best. JamietheGirl is nine so she could still be adopted, but she has been informed by multiple sources that nobody will ever want her because a) she has a bad attitude, b) she has a boy’s name and c) she is not cute enough.

��My name is Draco,” is all Draco can say. He is already vowing to hunt down those multiple sources who told Jamie she was less than perfect. “It’s not a bad name but it’s not a good one either.”

JamieTheGirl agrees.

Now that they are going to adopt two children it’s all the more reason to live in the Virginia Water’s house, which has more room and a very nice garden. They can always apparate the kids to their school in London. If Harry refuses to apparate (sometimes Harry exhibits some very weird ideas about magic and luxury) Draco will get a car. Not even a magical car, and actual muggle car. He will buy one and take the kids to school. Actually, they should go tomorrow to check the house and start the arrangements.

Harry stares at Draco. He is sitting on the kitchen counter in his stupid house in Grimmauld Place, eating Chinese food from the box as if he weren’t a filthy rich man, hero of the wizarding world. Draco loves him so much.

“What do you mean adopt?” Harry says.

“Oh, like this was going to go any other way.” Draco says, rolling his eyes. If the place had merely been overcrowded and noisy Harry would have contented himself to play the benefactor role and pay for renovations. But there was mold in twenty-three spots, the social worker made Snape look charming and evidently none of the adults in charge had any idea of what the children were going through and, even worse, what they were getting up to.

Draco knows Harry. It is a mere question of how quickly they can get the paperwork ready.

“I’m still going to do something about the place.” Harry argues, of course he does. He won’t simply take a kid and forget about the rest. But he is already thinking of all the wonderful things he will teach Liam. Draco can see it in his eyes.

They get married two weeks later, for the paperwork, but in essence they got married that night when Draco laid the rest of their lives before them and Harry realized that Draco knew him better than himself and that he still wanted to be with him.

They move to the Virginia Water’s house in early January. Liam can’t believe that he has been adopted, so he takes the fact that they are both wizards in stride. The adoption is much harder to believe than the fact that people can do actual magic. Also, he has his own room. His. With a door that he can close. The fact that he doesn’t have to hide his books so they won’t be stolen takes enough of Liam’s attention that he can’t worry about such unimportant things as magic.

JamieTheGirl is both easier and harder. She is easier because she desperately wanted to be out of the Children’s Home, and harder because she is naturally distrustful and very intelligent. Not to say that Liam is not distrustful or smart, but he is old enough to be jaded. Liam expects something bad to happen and he is willing to take it. He, like Harry, is stupid enough to believe that he can take new abuse if he also gets some comfort in exchange.

(note: Draco is going to piss on Dumbledore’s grave).

The first month is difficult, but once both Liam and JamieTheGirl act out and see there are no bad consequences, that they are not beaten or returned to the Children’s Home, they settle happily. JamieTheGirl asks to have her name changed, please, she will take a constellation name if they want to, just let her have a different name. They are enrolled in a new school and Draco buys a car and hires a chauffeur who happens to be a squib and there is no need for Harry to look at him that way.

Things are good.

It’s cold outside, the garden is dry and ugly, it rains nonstop for two weeks… but everything is good and nice. If Sean were here he would have something interesting to say about it. Everything in Sean is ugly, but he knows how to take the painful things and make them sweet, and he would know how to put into words that the world outside the house is ugly right now, but it’s also nice.

Draco feels Harry go rigid at the same time as him. “Who?” Draco says calmly just as Harry asks “What?”.

Sean is an ugly case. He was adopted when he was eight but he was returned a few months later. Nobody knows why although there is a lot of speculation. He often got himself beaten in school and once by Mister Murphy (“Who?”, “It doesn’t matter, he doesn’t work there anymore”, “Give me a detailed description of Mister Murphy, please”.) He is fifteen now so nobody will adopt him and Mister Gladwell says he will amount to nothing. Despite what Mrs Oxley says (Mrs Oxley is the deputy Director) Sean is not a criminal. He goes with bad people, sure, but he never stole Liam’s books and he even showed him a couple of hiding places. He is not bad at all.

On Friday they welcome Sean home. Just at the same time Mr Gladwell, Mrs Oxley, Mr Murphy and a criminal gang from the South Bank all suffer completely coincidental and unrelated accidents.

Sean is a young criminal. He is tough and hard, actively cultivating a mean strike and horrifyingly traumatized.

He is also deeply protective of Liam and Jamie. It’s heartbreaking.

Fortunately, Harry was also deeply traumatized at his age. It’s a horrible thought to have, but for once Harry is grateful for all that pain because he knows how Sean feels, he understands, and he can help.

No, Sean can’t have a wand or try magic. Yes, he still has to go to school. No, he can’t take the car. No, no smoking and no drinking either. Come along, you are going to take fighting classes.

Which might seem counter-productive. Do not teach the young delinquent to fight, yadda, yadda. Harry spent all of his fifteen year wanting to punch someone and Sean has this freaked-out look in the eyes that says he doesn’t trust Harry or Draco and that he wants to protect Jamie and Liam. The fighting classes make him feel more in control and they mellow him. Also, by the third time Draco has a tiff and demands to talk to the headmaster about Liam’s class placement, his math grades, Jamie’s English grades, and just-what-did-that-woman-insinuate-I-swear; something visibly relaxes in Sean.

(Not even Liam knows what his Biology teacher said that upset Draco. The next week they have the lovely Miss Quintrell instead and the whole class is happy so Liam doesn’t question it).

And suddenly it’s March and Ron’s birthday and there is a celebration at the Burrow. Harry arrives with his family and a well-structured explanation of how he is now the legal father of Sean, Liam and Possibly-Berenice (they are still trying names). He is really good at it. He gives a simple step by step account of the process, with helpful asides and clarifying details, everything. There is just this one thing. A small detail, really. An assumption that is not supported by reality.

“Mate, I’m very happy for you,” Ron says. “We all are. But, you never mentioned you were dating Malfoy and I believe I speak for everyone when I say it’s a shock.”

And, to be fair, nobody can say they are actually surprised that Harry showed up with three orphans. But Malfoy, well… Malfoy is something else. They thought Harry was merely befriending him, or possibly adopting him like he tried to do with Neville. The dating thing is a big mental shift.

“We are married,” Draco says, and then, at their stares, more quietly, “it was more convenient? For the paperwork?”.

There is a lot of “Harry Potter you did not get married without telling us” and “Harry Potter how could you just get married without a ceremony” and “you know we have been developing these party fireworks how could you do this to us” and Molly red-faced, waving a finger, “did you tell your parents, young man?” and it takes everyone, everyone, thirty seconds to realize she is not addressing Harry, but Draco, and Merlin’s pants, he did not, he didn’t tell them. Draco married Harry, moved with him and adopted three kids and his father doesn’t know, which goes a long way to ingratiate Draco with everyone, because Lucius Malfoy has not heard of this.

It also has the unexpected but very welcome benefit of making Sean laugh. Liam says Sean hasn’t laughed in years.

(And of course less than a month later the three kids have a hand-knit sweater, of course they do. Possibly-Berenice’s has a pattern of stars, pending her choosing a permanent name).

[ashes-and-ashes]

So blame @jilylicious for getting me into Jegulus!! This is my first time writing this ship so I hope it’s okay ❤️❤️

~

The sun has nearly set by the time James makes it up to the roof. The sight of him is like a balm to Regulus’ frayed nerves, the faint stars arranged around his head like a halo. He kicks his feet idly, the ground hundreds of miles away and wondered what would happen if he fell.

The cigarette lies next to him, the tip a glowing red in the shadows. Regulus didn’t smoke but the acrid burn reminded him of Sirius, both warm and bitter as it poured down his throat. He flicks it aside as James joins him, the familiar heat of his body as he flung his arm around Regulus.

“Sorry,” he says, and God even his voice is comforting, like the first beams of sunlight on a cold day. Regulus finds himself sinking into it, bit by bit, the taste of honey on his lips, desperately trying to remember each precious moment they had together. “McGonagall kept us all behind after dinner. Wanted to talk about - “

“Your horrible idea for a prank?” Regulus says drily, and James throws back his head and laughs. “Really though. A live lion at the finals?”

James snorts. “Oh that’s rich. Don’t give me that bullshit. If there was any feasible way that Slytherin could bring a live snake to the Quidditch finals then you lot absolutely would. Horrible idea my ass.”

Regulus smiles. He watches the sun slowly dip into the lake, all streaks of rose gold and turquoise, the ripples of the lake capped in bronze. For a moment he thinks he could live like this; up on the roof with the wind in his face and James at his side, the taste of smoke and the memory of his brother.

It was too easy to forget, sometimes. A year, a gorgeous year wrapped up in bits of silk and ragged satin and all Regulus could do was burn. The war was coming closer now - everyone knew it. He was bound to it, like a sailor on a sinking ship watching the waves crashing down.

Regulus shivers and James looks down at him in concern. He wraps his arms tighter around Regulus’ shoulders; Regulus closes his eyes against the press of fingers into his skin.

“How’s my brother?” he asks. James’ face darkens.

“He’s okay,” he says tightly. “But you need to talk to him. He’s...he’s - “

“Killing himself?” Regulus asks quietly. The look on James’ face confirms it. Regulus knows his brother all too well, the self loathing and the hatred and the casual self-destructiveness. Sirius would be killing himself for leaving.

“Yes.” The words are clipped - it’s the closest Regulus has seen to James losing control. “Yes. He is killing himself. It’s been 5 months and he’s still broken.”

Regulus bites his lip, as if that brief stab of pain could compare to the pain Sirius felt. “It’ll take time. He never could let things go.”

“No,” James agrees. “If you would just talk to him - “

“I told you.” Regulus shakes his head, suddenly feeling very tired. “Not until he promises to never come back.”

“You know he‘ll never do that. He loves you too much.”

Regulus scoffs. “If the cost of my brother’s safety is to never speak to him again then it’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

James swallows, hard. Regulus tracks the movement, the soft flexing of his throat, the small pinpricks of light high up in the sky, reflected against the lenses of James’ glasses and against the pupil of his eye.

“Besides,” he says, softly. “He has a new family now. You and Peter. And Remus. He loves Remus, doesn’t he? Who cares if I’m dying if he’s happy?”

“That’s why you’re stronger than me,” James says, so softly that Regulus can barely hear him. “I could never.”

Regulus allows himself a bitter smile, even as his heart clenches. “I saw you with Lily today.”

“Oh.” James says. Regulus doesn’t think he imagined the blush that spread across his face. “Yeah. Lils.”

He thinks his heart is breaking. Regulus looks down, suddenly grateful for the cover of darkness, the way it hid the cracks in his expression. James’ face pales, his hand shooting out to grab Regulus’.

“No,” he says, squeezing tight. “Reg. I wouldn’t - I would never cheat - “

“I know,” Regulus whispers. “Believe me, I know.”

The skin on his forearm throbs slightly, a brutal reminder of the Mark that would appear there one day. James ghosts over it with his fingertips, a familiar motion, something he’s done countless of times before.

“What’s wrong?” he breathes, and God it makes Regulus want to cry, the softness and gentleness in his expression. Never again, he thinks, and it hurts. I’ll never find someone like this again.

“James,” Regulus whispers and he cups James’ cheek, the paleness of his skin so vivid against the coffee tones of James’s face.

He wishes he could freeze it, this precious moment before the world came spinning down in broken shards and shattered glass, before the fire and the brimstone and the ash. Regulus takes a deep breath, holds it, the taste of smoke on his tongue, in his hair and against his skin.

“The year’s almost up,” he whispers.

James flinches back, his eyes widening. “Not yet,” he breathes. “We still have a week.”

Regulus smiles softly. He remembers that day - on the Hogwarts Express, pressed up against the wall, James’ lips against his neck. One year. Just give us one year.

God it felt like an eon ago. Regulus stares at the sky and wishes he could be back there, the feeling of the wall against his back, James’ hands in his hair, the odd sense of time stopping as he nodded. One year.

“James,” he says, and drops his hands. “Let go.”

“No,” James breathes, his voice cracking. “No. This can’t - we can’t just - “

Regulus takes a deep breath. “Jamie,” he says, and this time his voice breaks, breaks like he swore it wouldn’t, cracks in half until it sounds raw and painful like the beating of his heart. “Jamie we promised. We promised. It never could have lasted anyway - we’re just not meant to be. There’s a war - “

“Fuck the war,” James replies viciously, his voice sounding as raw as Regulus’. “Fuck the war and fuck the Mark and fuck your parents. Reg, please, I don’t - I don’t want to - “

“You think I want to either?” Regulus smiles through his tears. “You think - “ He cuts himself off, swallowing hard. “James, this isn’t - this wasn’t supposed to last forever. You’re deserve better. This wasn’t - it’s not real, Jamie. It’s a hallucination - a pipe dream. We weren’t meant to be forever.”

“And what if I want it to?” James asks fiercely. He lunges forward, gripping Regulus’ hand in his own and it’s one of the things he always loved about James, why he fell in love with him in the first place. “Reg, I love you. God, I love you. We could - I already told you. You could run. Like Sirius - my mother would take you in, I know she would.”

“I know,” Regulus says softly. “But you know I can’t.”

James stares up at him, the green in his eyes like bits of emerald, still so bright even as the shadows lengthened. “So that’s it then,” he says, his voice more bitter than Regulus has ever heard it. “That’s it. One year and we’re done. See you on the battlefield?”

Regulus flinches back and James goes pale. “Fuck. No, Reg, I didn’t mean it - “

“I know,” he breathes. “I know.” He coughs, the smoke suddenly filling his lungs, the grip of James’ hand against his own like an anchor against the tearing waves. “James. I...I had everything planned out. Since I was 12. Get Sirius out. Take the Mark. Fight until I was killed, or until someone caught me or...I don’t know. I never...planned past then.” He takes a shaking breath. “But then I met you. And God, it was like I was falling. I met you and I loved you and I still do. I still love you.”

“Then stay,” James hisses. “Stay. This isn’t your war - it never really was. Stay and run and don’t look back.”

“Do you think you could be happy?” Regulus asks, and James closes his eyes. “Because I think you can. I’ll leave and it’ll hurt and you’ll be broken but only for a little bit. She loves you, you know. Lily. And I think you love her too.”

“It’s not the same,” James breathes. “It’s not - it’s different - “

Regulus smiles. “I know. God, I know. But you’ll find someone else. Someone better.”

James shakes his head, his eyes full of tears. “Reg, don’t do this. You don’t have to - “

“You know I do,” Regulus says softly, and then he’s kissing James, like that first time so long ago, underneath the stars like he’s always wanted. It’s something he’s always taken for granted; the heat of James’ body, the mess of curls under his fingertips and the gentleness, so soft compared to the pain he was used to back at home.

But where all of there kisses before had been a hello this kiss felt like a goodbye. They could both taste it, bitter on their lips and Regulus blinks away the tears and tastes salt.

He finally breaks away. They’re both crying, the tears on James’ face like streaks of starlight and Regulus wonders why someone never looked as beautiful as they did when they were leaving.

“Be happy James,” he says softly, even as his heart broke. “For both of us.”

“Regulus,” James says, but Regulus has already turned away.

He doesn’t let himself look back.

[darkouter]

barty at the ministry + magic item headcanon post

interning / sabotage

during barty’s brief stint working at the ministry (paid internship, officially being hired later for other office work while he got necessary qualifications) from 1980 - ‘82, he worked within his father’s department:  the department of magical law enforcement.  he helped aurors mostly, primarily doing paperwork and very basic research for them.  this was perfect for riddle to use him because barty had free access to information regarding the hunting of death eaters, who was being investigated, how close aurors were getting to them, and their sources.  he could also sabotage some of their information or generally cause office work chaos because documents were in and out of his hands so often, and he could change details or lose pages strategically.

absolutely no one would ever think to question him because he has interned at the ministry for years, working during the summers (because you can bet your ass crouch sr. wasn’t going to just let him SLACK OFF or be a normal teen).  everyone is familiar with him, knows his work ethic, and they trust him.  it’s also why, even earlier on as an intern, he had far more trust and responsibility than anyone else who would fill that role.  it’s really just formality for him to be an intern before being hired, policy-related, and generally he would move up the ladder more quickly if not for needing licenses/qualifications.  but this is the real world, and a lot of people didn’t really give a shit that he didn’t have them yet because they knew he was capable, so a lot of the time he had more responsibility than he was necessarily supposed to have.  as long as the sticklers for rules like sr. weren’t nosing around, he could basically do whatever.

this is why vold.emort really wanted him around.  he’s valuable.

this all occurs during his wild streak, of course.  and he often stays to work long nights because crouch sr. works long nights, so barty should be at the office as long as him, even if his work is already done!  a boy gets bored.  he starts to wander around.  his interest ends up focusing on the department of mysteries because who the fuck doesn’t want to skitter around in that place?  barty’s a curious guy.  there’s a lot to look at.  he’s alone in the middle of the night, and everyone’s gone.  maybe he pokes at some things he shouldn’t.

magical item:  the spirit communication compact

it’s in the section of the department that focuses on death.  for the longest time, he tried to avoid interacting too much with items in there.  the veil?  he got close to it once and freaked out when it started whispering to him.  no thanks, Death!  he didn’t avoid dying in the river, so don’t come for him!  eventually, however, his intrigue overpowers his tentative tendencies within that place.  

impulsively, he grabs a small item clasped shut, and struggles for the longest time to open it.  it’s perfectly smooth, circular, and gold — it reminds him of his golden pocket-watch that matches his father’s.  it really looks like it’s meant to be opened, with a visible and clean slice through it.  when he attempts to open it, a light emits from that crack.  it doesn’t budge.  there is one detail on it, and it’s a conical hole drilled into the side.  he assumes it’s for a key.

after several nights have passed with him fiddling with it, he still doesn’t figure out how to open it.  but it bothers him and he is invested in it so badly that he finally just pockets the damn thing, now having something to really ruminate on in his free time.  he searches for a key.  tries to find mention of it in books.  attempts putting things into the hole.  tries to use force.  alohomora.  nothing works.  sometimes when he’s fighting with it, he can hear muffled noises coming from it, but he doesn’t even vaguely understand what it is beyond a sort of humming.

he doesn’t really tell anyone about it.  it’s kind of something he just…  feels is his, and he likes to keep it that way.  he has it on him all the time.  depending on the verse, he might share knowledge of its existence with a close friend (regulus, for example), but it’s mostly for the sake of getting ideas on how to open it.

eventually, the obsession wanes as he becomes more focused on v/oldemort’s activities.  he leaves it in his room, forgotten on his desk, serving as a paperweight or table coaster.  it collects dust through his conviction, incarceration, and cursed imprisonment.  it’s only once v/oldemort frees him that he finds it again.  he brings it to hogwarts, and idly toys with it in his office when he’s alone.  it blends in well with all the random tools and items that moody has laying around.

moody, with one leg and one eye missing, serves as a hassle to turn into.  during one transformation with the polyjuice potion, he’s a bit too careless.  with bad vision and a missing leg, not having prepped moody’s false leg and magical eye, he ends up falling over.  he hits his head fairly hard on the corner of his desk, and he bleeds profusely.  blood dripping down his face, he fumbles around on his desk for a wiggenwald potion, and makes a mess of it.  the compact starts going nuts, lighting up brighter than ever before and vibrating incessantly with that humming, but louder.  he ends up turning his attention to it instead of taking care of the gash on his head like a normal person because he has never seen it react so strongly before.  what he thought was the keyhole begins to suck in air like a vacuum, and it finally occurs to him that the answer to opening it should have been obvious to him.  wiping blood from his face, he then drips blood from his fingers into the funnel.  it opens.

when the compact is open, where there would normally be a mirror is something similar to what one would see when looking into thin crystal quartz.  it’s imperfect, looking a bit foggy, and without a clean, flat face to it.  on the bottom piece is something like knobs one might see on a camera lens, or more accurately a microscope with it’s fine focus and coarse focus knobs.  it’s not until someone holds down the center knob for a few seconds that it seems to power up, and the crystal quartz becomes more like glass.  more than likely, voices will flood into it, and blurry shapes will appear on the crystal.  twisting the knobs correctly can allow someone to focus on a voice / image of someone until they are clear, as if looking through a window.  with a magnifying lens, maybe, because it’s handheld and small.  

it communicates with spirits.  not simply ghosts and poltergeists that exist on the mortal plane, but of those who have passed on.  those who do linger in between can, however, interact with it as well, should they wish to while in focus.

honestly, it’s kind of like facetiming the afterlife, but with the addition of having to tune it like a radio.

IT’S VERY HARD TO USE.  spirits that have passed, well.  have passed.  there is really no need for communication between most spirits and living people, but the spirits who do try to jump on call are usually randos trying to pass on a message of some sort.  the controls are hard, so it’s more likely that you won’t be able to find someone, especially if they’re satisfied with not making contact / moving on.  it can get annoying fairly fast if a particular spirit won’t stop trying to get your attention.

of course, during his stay at hogwarts, barty has a lot of down time that he spends alone.  it’s more in character to be a recluse, as well as just a better idea to minimize contact to reduce any chances of making a mistake with his character.  plus, if he knows he will be alone for a long time (at night), he tends to like letting the polyjuice potion wear off.  he keeps some with him at all times just in case, but sometimes a guy just wants to have his own body parts.

he only searches for two people at first:  his mother and regulus.  he’s fairly desperate in trying to find them.  the only other person he ends up trying to find is his father after killing him, though he isn’t really sure why he does that.  a part of him wants to gloat about his death, another part wants some sort of closure because killing him didn’t achieve that.

he finds regulus (proditeur, my good bitch) fairly quickly, however, as reg has been following him around in a sort of limbo state (see g’s good shit good headcanon delicious posts).  regulus tries to provide insight, and barty is ecstatic to have him back.  basically chinhands at regulus in the compact, delighted to see him, absolutely not absorbing any of the lecture because it’s inconvenient and does not fit into the reality he has concocted in his brain.

he never finds his father, thankfully.  nothing good would have come from that.  it takes a long, long time and many finger pricks for blood until he finds his mother.  this would be circa half-blood prince to deathly hal.lows.  being able to speak to her in addition to regulus has a profound effect that eventually leads to him becoming more stable emotionally, less chaotic, and generally more like who he was before volde/mort ever came into his life.  they becomes a conscience of sorts for him post-goblet, as he becomes willing to listen.

[bramble--jam]

Electric Storms

“ “Boys,” Marlene gasped, like they were still sixteen and she hadn’t seen them both fight Death Eaters to the death. “He’s just a house elf.” “

- - - - -

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | AO3 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

- - - - -

James held Sirius for the whole time he cried and swore viciously when Kreacher started to berate him for being a weak, flobberworm hearted blood traitor, having gotten over his master’s deathly state. Lily helped Marlene as best she could whilst she worked, holding him this way and that, casting simpler healing spells they all knew. Sirius knew she was doing it at least partially to save him from the humiliation of having them close by as he fell apart, and was grateful for it in a way he couldn’t even begin to express.

Eventually, Marlene stood, wiped her yellow and red stained fingers on her jeans and put her hands on her hips, a thoughtful expression on her sharp featured face. Sirius dried his eyes on James’s sleeves and came to stand beside her, looking over the sleeping form of his brother’s body. His wounds were mostly closed, his breathing full and even and though he was still pale as the dead, Sirius knew he would be alright.

“I want to take him to St. Mungos,” Marlene stated and gave Sirius a level stare when he said they couldn’t. “I know that, Sirius, they’d take him to Azkaban straight away, I just want to. So I could keep a better eye on him, see how well the poison is diffusing.”

“Lets take him to our place,” he suggested instead. “Could we apparate with him?”

Lily hissed like it was an awful idea, and Marlene grimaced. “Its not really safe, but he can’t stay here.”

“He can!” Kreacher piped up, obviously angry at having been left out of the discussion. “Kreacher will take care of him!”

“No,” James and Sirius said in unison.

“When’s Walburga going to get here?” Sirius asked, barely able to look at the warped little elf. He turned instead to look for the locket, to see if it really was worth nearly dying for, and found the place where it was gone empty, the floor gleaming back at him without a blemish.

“Kreacher’s doesn’t know, she never says.” Kreacher sounded nervous, Sirius could feel the sharpness of his eyes on his back.

He murmured a summoning spell, waited a few moments, and looked up at James. He didn’t need to say anything, the glance they shared was enough, and James held Kreacher tightly by the wrist before Sirius had even stood up.

“James!” Marlene cried, hand going to stop him, but James ignored her.

“Where’s the horcrux Kreacher?” he snarled, twisting his wrist ever so slightly when he only shook his head.

“Kreacher doesn’t know what a horcrux is!”

“The locket Kreacher, where’s the locket?” Sirius moved to crouch before the house elf, the hand on his shoulder would have been tender if it weren’t for the look of rage his face.

“Kreacher hasn’t seen it since his master gave it to you!” Kreacher was nearly sobbing, but Sirius knew acromantula tears when he saw them. He touched James’s elbow, a silent request to let the house elf go, and stopped Kreacher from falling when he released his wrist.

“Liar.” He didn’t shout it, or snarl it, just said it evenly, almost like he was asking about the weather, as the muggles were prone to do. He thought that’s why Kreacher’s eyes widened further in fear, and he hastily pulled out the locket from a pouch he must have had somewhere on his person.

It pulsed again when Sirius took it from him and stood. The S was styled like a snake and almost seemed to move as Sirius looked at it. It clearly isn’t a normal locket, but Sirius wasn’t going to try and open it without first finding some more about it.

“Boys,” Marlene gasped, like they were still sixteen and she hadn’t seen them both fight Death Eaters to the death. “He’s just a house elf.”

“You don’t know what he’s like,” Lily said darkly, surprising Sirius. Sirius had never told Lily about Kreacher, and as far as he’s aware, this is the first time they’ve met. He supposed James had told her about his childhood, and though it hurt a little that James would give away his closest secrets, things not even Remus and Peter knew - though he suspected Remus did know, just hadn’t needed to be told about it - he was mostly pleased she understood, wasn’t giving him and James the same horrified look Marlene was.

Marlene looked between the three of them, eyes sharp and calculating, and pursed her lips together.

“I’m going home,” she said. “Get him out of here, and for Merlin’s sake Sirius, never come back if its making you like this.” She said goodbye to each of them and walked out the door when her apparation failed.

Marlene had never spoken to Sirius like that, like he’d done something awful, and he found himself wanting to apologise to the house elf. For a moment, he stared at Kreacher, the words ready in his throat, yet he couldn’t seem to form them on his tongue, to make his mouth say the words. Instead, telling himself that he hadn’t been that bad, not compared to how Kreacher had always treated him, he turned to look over Regulus again.

He was whole, yes, and healing well, but Marlene and Lily had been right; there was no way to apparate him without doing serious damage to his already weakened body. Asleep, there wasn’t even any way of getting assistance in moving him. The clock in the hall stuck four, the melodic song it let out vibrating in Sirius ears, almost hiding the sound of the front door opening.

Sirius’s mouth went dry, his breathing quickened as fear licked up his spine, paralysing him. His mind filled with memories of Walburga the last time he’d seen her, about to send a spell that would do more damage than Sirius had ever sustained since, purple with rage in a way he’d never seen before. A hand slipped into his, squeezing it tightly and bringing him sharply back to reality.

“Help me lift him,” James whispered, not letting go of him as they moved forward. Lily watched them, wide eyed, supporting his head as Sirius released James to sweep Regulus up. He was lighter than he should’ve been, and the world was going starting to blur at the edges as his panic constricted his lungs.

“Kreacher!” Walburga screamed when her house elf didn’t come running to her immediately. “Kreacher!”

“They’ve killed him Mistress!” Kreacher shouted as he darted out the room. “The mudblood and the blood traitors have killed Master Regulus!”

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” James muttered as he pushed open the back door, holding it open for Sirius and Lily, Regulus a dead weight in their arms.

“What?” The fury in Walburga’s voice carried in full force into the garden, carefully maintained by Kreacher. Sirius’s knees buckled as he gasped for air - why was there no air? - Lily moving closer to slip an arm around his waist, giving him her support.

- - - - -

Sirius couldn’t remember what happened next, his thoughts coming in flashes intermingled with memories of his mother. One moment, he was collapsing into the dirt, Regulus cradled in his arms, the next he was writhing in pain on the drawing room carpet, screaming his throat raw from the agony, the next again he was on Regulus’s old broomstick, James holding him close to his chest.

“C’mon, broom, don’t fail me now,” he could hear James say, the words broken inside Sirius’s head. He focussed on his voice, not at all soothing, but James hadn’t been there that day, so it couldn’t be real, he wasn’t there anymore. “Si, I’ve got you, you’re safe. I’m here, you’re safe. You’re safe.” Sirius felt the impossible grip on his chest loosen ever so slightly, enough that the blackness around his vision started to fade. “Lily hold on tighter!” James called over his shoulder and the broom accelerated into the sky sharply, overcoming the weight trying to keep it on the ground.

Slowly, so slowly, the feel of James’s chest along his back, the sound of his voice changing between soft comfort in his ear and checking in on Lily behind them and the freezing wind forcing its way down into his lungs cleared his head, eased away the panic. He wanted to lean back even further into James, but knew it would only hinder his already tenuous control over the broom and so consoled himself with looking below them as London rushed past. They were already far away from the area Sirius had grown up in, he could see his building’s roof in the distance. He kept is eyes on it, watching as it drew closer and closer until James had them landing on it.

With so many bodies on a broomstick built for one, it seemed to give out entirely instead of land, rolling all four of them hard into the slate tiles. Sirius let out a puff of air, sharp and painful but not at all like when panic had stolen away his breath entirely and quickly rolled onto his side. Lily was already crouched over Regulus, awake after his harsh landing and James was on his way over to Sirius, worry all over his face.

“I’m fine,” Sirius assured him as he stood, hands out in a placating gesture. “I want him inside first.”

James gave him a quick once over, a tiny line between his eyebrows where they wanted to draw closer together in a frown. Sirius reached out for him, gripping his wrist for a moment before he made his way over the Regulus, who lay flat on his back, staring up at the deep blue sky, black at one horizon and a symphony of pinks, purples and oranges at the other. He wondered if Regulus still made sure to go outside as the sun set each night, desperate to see his star as he had as a child, like Sirius did sometimes still.

His brother’s eyes flicked to his when he drew near, sharper and more focussed than he’d expected of a man who’d been on the verge of death mere hours ago. Sirius crouched by his head, debating if it was worth offering his arm to pull him up and expecting a litany of abuse for daring to take him from Walburga. None came, and Regulus pushed himself up into a sitting position, leaving him panting and clutching at his chest like even the small effort had exhausted him entirely. Sirius reached out his arm in support, knowing he’d probably be pushed aside so Regulus could martyr himself by getting up alone. He had no doubt the surprise showed on his face when Regulus grasped his elbow.

It wasn’t easy getting into the flat from the roof. There was no access to the rest of the building from up there and it slanted sharply, the slate tiles slippery with the autumn rain. Eventually it was Lily who managed to shimmy down the drainpipe to Sirius’s bedroom window, sending out James’s broomstick so they could all float down. They sent Regulus down first, clutching the handle so tightly his knuckles went white and having to lean heavily on Lily when he tried to clamber through the window.

As Sirius landed on his bedroom floor, he made to speak to Regulus and Lily who were both waiting on him there, when the door burst open, a tall, lanky figure standing silhouetted in the doorway. He had his wand brandished in front of him, grip sure and unflinching around the handle. Sirius had his own wand out in an instant, pointed directly at where the strangers face would be.

“Remus its fine,” Lily said, gesturing wildly at Sirius to drop his wand as her hand went up to the figure’s shoulder.

James closed the window behind him as the last of his long limbs made it through, tossing his broomstick onto Sirius’s bed, the least care he’d ever shown for it as far as Sirius was aware. “What’s going on?”

“I thought you were Death Eaters!” Remus explained, switching on the light to show all five of them clearly. Regulus had sunk to the floor against the wall at some point between then and when he’d entered the room, a collapsed heap of gangly limbs and dull black hair, and he made a weak sound at the Remus’s voice.

Sirius bit back on the remark desperate the leave his lips about how some of them were Death Eaters. “What’re you doing here?” he asked instead, hoping Remus didn’t take it to mean that he wasn’t welcome.

Remus flushed, his normally stoic face red hot with embarrassment. “I put a spell on this place when I stayed over, so that I’d know if anyone came in through unusual means.” It was rare for Remus to openly admit that he cared deeply for his friends, though they all knew he did, and he showed it often enough. James smiled at him, not the cocky grin Sirius would’ve expected, both pleased and sad at once, and gripped his shoulder in a quiet show of support.

Lily looked between the three of them, a soft look of affection in her eyes. “We should probably move this to the living room,” she announced and they all followed, even Regulus, unfolding himself and pushing to his feet. This time, he refused Sirius’s assistance, and he guessed their own moments of caring for each other had passed.

- - - - -

James made tea as Sirius explained to the other two what was going on, Regulus a silent dark cloud in the corner opposite the TV. He seemed uncomfortable at its existence in his brother’s flat, and Sirius couldn’t help but feel a little smug at his displeasure at being so close to something so obviously muggle. Remus and Lily nodded along with the story, occasionally giving Regulus disbelieving glances from the corners of their eyes. He ignored them both unwaveringly, only looking up to take the tea James had sent to float before his face, taking a sip and scrunching up his face when it burned his tongue. Sirius smirked and blew at his own.

“So this is it,” Lily stated as Sirius passed her the locket, turning it over in her pale hands. It seemed to shimmer where it touched her skin and she scowled at it for several moments before she placed it gently onto the coffee table. “I don’t think we should spend too much time touching something that holds You-Know-Who’s soul.”

“Have you tried destroying it yet?” Remus asked softly, the question directed at Regulus. The question was complete without judgement and his eyes were warm and earnest.

He sneered, his gaunt face twisting into something awful. “Of course not, you idiotic half breed, I was too busy dying.”

Sirius was on his feet, James beside him, both their wands pointed straight at Regulus’s face as soon as he said the slur. “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” James snapped, the anger in his voice matching the rage Sirius could feel swelling in his chest.

“Enough,” Remus commanded, raising one hand into the air. It was, as they had always called it, his Prefect Voice, very different than James’s Head Boy Voice, the one he’d never used on James or Sirius themselves but that they’re heard strike fear into the hearts of many of the younger and even older pupils. He didn’t sound angry, or even disappointed, yet the promise of punishment if the behaviour continued was there, clear as glass.

James and Sirius both slid back into their seats, not meeting each other’s eyes, and even Regulus looked abashed, hints of pink staining his cheeks. Remus gave Regulus a hard look for a moment, assessing, Sirius could see the calculations whirl around in his heads.

“How do you destroy a horcrux?”

“I don’t know,” Regulus admitted, sounding far smaller than he had when he’d been spitting at Remus like the furious little snake he was. “That’s why I contacted Sirius.”

Remus looked to Sirius, then James, then Lily, all three of them shaking their heads slightly. Silence stretched between them, broken only by beginnings of rain tapping inconsistently against the windows. Without meaning to, Sirius started bouncing his leg as an itch to do something, anything, crept under his skin. His eyes met James’s briefly across the room, the impatience burning in him echoed straight back in them, and without a word they both stood in one fluid movement.

“Well, I’m not going to just sit here,” Sirius announced, and scooped up locket.

- - - - -

James and Sirius left Lily watching Regulus in the flat as they and Remus left the building and apparated away to a wet, dark field several miles outside of London where Sirius had taught himself to ride his motorbike. It’d been dark and wet then too, and James had laughed himself hoarse watching him fall again and again and again until he finally got the hang of it and he’d clung to his mud-covered waist as he drove them all the way back to the flat. James certainly wasn’t laughing now, none of them were.

The locket sat on a large, flat stone they’d found at the edge of the field, barely visible in the moonlight. In the middle of the English countryside, it seemed no more menacing than the bracelet Sirius always wore, a gift from James on his sixteenth birthday, engraved with the date he’d met him to remind him he was always loved. There was no magic in it, yet it always felt warm to the touch, as if it were James’s hand holding him.

There was plenty of dark magic in the locket, and all three of them stood as far back as they could and still see it as Sirius shouted, “Reducto!” and a flash of blue light shot from his wand, hitting the locket and flipping it backwards into the air, landing some way away. The three shared a wary look and James went to collect it, using his t-shirt to wipe of some of the mud it was caked in. He brought it over so the other two could examine it with him.

“It looks the same,” James observed, and Sirius couldn’t help but agree.

“How do we know if the soul’s been destroyed?” Sirius asked. “How do we even know it is a horcrux and Regulus isn’t lying?”

“It’s definitely something,” Remus said and took the locket from James’s open hand. He turned it over in his hands, long fingers twisting it this way and that. “I think he’s telling the truth. He almost died, Padfoot.”

“I know,” Sirius snapped. He couldn’t shake the memory of Regulus, half dead on the kitchen table, blood everywhere, his breathing so raw Sirius worried each one would be his last. It felt like it been weeks ago, not hours, yet the thought of his only brother dead left him sick to his stomach, and abruptly he wanted to see him in a way he hadn’t done it many years. “Come on, let’s try something else.”

For hours they stood in the field, casting spell after spell at the locket as the stars turned overhead, until the sun started to rise, casting its watery grey light over them. Remus squinted at the face of the rising sun, crossing his arms and hugging his elbows close to his body.

“I need to go home,” he said around an enormous yawn that Sirius might have found amusing in other circumstances. Just then, all he could do was observe how thin he’d gotten in the time since the full moon, going from just the healthy side of slim to decidedly gaunt, and how the bruise like bags under his eyes seemed to be a permanent feature.

“Yes,” James agreed. “We should go rescue Lily from your brother, too.” His eyes met Sirius, a question in them; Remus can stay with us?

With Regulus staying, and possibly Lily, they didn’t really have space. He nodded yes all the same.

- - - - - 

The living room was bathed in pale pinks and oranges from the rising sun when the arrived back at the flat, highlighting Lily’s red hair as it fanned out around her head where it lay on the arm of the sofa, her face peaceful in sleep. Sirius watched James look at her, a sorrowful frown pulling his mouth down, and Sirius found himself wondering if he was worth it, if James regretted his decision to leave Lily just so he could spend more time with Sirius. His heart squeezed painfully at the idea of James leaving again and turned instead to look at Regulus so James couldn’t read his hurt of his face.

Regulus was sitting on the floor, his head resting against the wall, his face still visibly troubled even in his sleep. He looked better than he had done earlier though, his skin back to its normal shade of pale brown, the same as Sirius’s, and he wondered if Lily had cast a few more healing charms on him at some point in the night. A fine silver chain was wrapped around both his wrists and lead to the ornate oak dresser their uncle had left Sirius that he knew was impossibly heavy from when he had James and moved it from Alphard’s own flat close to Grimmauld Place to here. Clearly, Lily had tied him up with no intention of letting him go anywhere.

“You should stay here,” he heard James say to Remus, and looked to see his friend standing by the door, obviously on his way out.

“I have to meet Dumbledore at eight, he has a mission for me,” he said, glancing at the clock on the wall that showed it was nearly eight. Sirius hadn’t realised they’d been out so long. “I’ll come by after, okay?”

“Promise you will,” James insisted.

A half smile pulled at the corner of Remus’s lips, full of gentle affection. “I promise, Prongs.” And then he was gone, out the door before James or Sirius could say another word.

Finally alone, or as close as they were likely to get, James and Sirius made their way to the kitchen and Sirius filled the kettle and set it to boil by hand. Fatigue had long since settled in his bones, and he was freezing, his clothes soaking from the persistent rain that had lasted all night, but he knew he wouldn’t settle, his mind buzzing with spells and ideas for destroying the horcrux, the image of Regulus dying on a table, and the sight of James watching Lily.

Hands touched his waist gently and he turned to see James’s face inches from his, his expression pinched with worry. Thoughts of everything but James left his mind as he skimmed one of his hands still resting on his waist up to grip his shoulder, paused there, then moved it up further to cup his neck, his thumb brushing against Sirius’s jaw. They were so close together Sirius could feel James’s breath against his lips. The knowledge that if he moved forward, just a little, they would be kissing, rose in him, and instead of being startled by the idea like he should have been, it seemed natural, the most natural thing in the world. Sirius restrained himself.

“Are you okay, really? What happened at Grimmauld Place…” James asked, voice loud in the silence of their kitchen.

Sirius leaned his head forward to lean their foreheads together, noses nudging. “I thought he was going to die, Prongs,” he whispered, and felt a lump form in his throat, his eyes burning with unshed tears. “He was going to die, and it would be all my fault.” His voice cracked on the last word and James pulled him even closer, tucking Sirius’s head under his chin even though Sirius was taller by an inch or so. Sirius pressed his face to James’s chest.

“And then he was okay but Walburga came back and I-I knew she would kill me if she saw me-”

“I will never, ever, let her touch you ever again,” James promised fervently as Sirius’s voice broke on every other word. “I swore I would look after you for as long as I live and I meant it, Si.”

“I know, but all I could think of was last time and I couldn’t breathe. And Lily.” He didn’t know how to tell him about Lily, about how he’d been so relieved she was there and that she got it, but that some jealous, ridiculous part of him had wanted her gone when he saw James look at her, and how that was somehow almost as bad as everything else.

James didn’t press him, just wrapped his arms around him tighter.

“Could you sleep?” he asked into Sirius’s waves of black hair. Sirius could feel his lips move against his skin and suppressed the shiver that threatened to crawl up his spine.

“Stay with me?” Sirius felt ludicrous, and half hoped the quiet question was muffled enough by James’s robes that he missed it. Instead, James lead him to his bedroom, cast a drying spell on them both, and they fell asleep with their noses nuzzling against each other, still fully clothed.

- - - - -

They hadn’t been asleep long, Sirius didn’t think, when the door pushed open and Lily entered. The light from the hallway fell into his eyes, and for a moment he forgot himself, tried to push closer to James to get away from it before he remembered who James was to Lily and shot up, shame and guilt staining his cheeks as he pushed at James shoulder to wake him.

Lily didn’t look annoyed, somehow, and smiled a little, placing herself at the end of the bed.

“How’d it go with the locket?” she asked, though she didn’t sound hopeful about whatever their answer would be.

Sirius shoved his hands into the pockets of the jacket he hadn’t bothered to take off, the leather still damp in places despite James trying to get them dry, and pulled out the horcrux. It was covered in mud, the S barely visible, however power still pulsed within it. Irritation of Lily flared in his gut and, appalled with himself, he dropped the locket onto the bed. The irritation bled away immediately, and Sirius wondered how much the horcrux could influence people’s emotions.

“Nothing even touched it,” he admitted and felt James shift away slightly as he woke, then more significantly when he noticed Lily at the end of the bed.

“What’s next, then?”

“We don’t know. Maybe we should ask Dumbledore.” Sirius was absolutely sure Dumbledore would know something more useful than they did and hoped Remus would have the presence of mind to ask him when he saw him.

Unexpectedly, Lily shook her head. “Regulus doesn’t want any of the higher ups informed, he’s terrified they’ll send him straight to Azkaban.”

“Dumbledore won’t tell anyone if he thinks he’s turned to our side,” James said, his voice sounding surer than Sirius felt. Dumbledore was a good man at heart, he’d always felt, but he couldn’t deny that his ruthlessness when it came to defeating Voldemort sometimes came at a cost Sirius himself wouldn’t have paid.

Lily pursed her lips to keep herself from voicing her disagreement and turned back to face Sirius, as if asking his opinion.

“We’ll see what Remus says when he comes home.” James and Lily both nodded at that, reluctantly. Sirius watched them both for a long moment, trying to read their reactions to each other from their faces. He’d always found James easy to read, and now was no different; he was annoyed that Lily didn’t trust Dumbledore like he did, he found it discomforting to have her so close when he’d been in a such a vulnerable position, there was fear there too, which Sirius couldn’t quite understand, and guilt, which he did.

Whilst a far cry from the impenetrable mask Remus was known for putting on in situations he felt uncomfortable, Lily’s face was still much harder to understand, the soft lines and planes of it less familiar to him, though he’d been her friend for many years. She hadn’t liked seeing them sleeping so close together, he guessed, yet there was no annoyance there, only a quiet, resigned sort of understanding. She met James’s eyes for the first time since she’d walked in the room, quickly flickering her eyes to Sirius before settling back on James. James, for his part, looked downwards at his feet, Sirius knew from years of friendship he would be blushing underneath his dark skin, and Lily rolled her eyes. The whole exchange took less than five seconds, and had Sirius not been looking at them so closely, he wouldn’t have seen it at all.

“Sorry for leaving you with Regulus all night,” Sirius said, breaking the heavy silence that had settled over the room. He wished Remus was here, he shamefully wished Lily wasn’t.

“It’s all right,” Lily said, a tiny smile playing at the corner of her lips. Sirius wasn’t sure he hid his surprise well, and heard it mirrored in the tiny squeak James made. “He’s not as bad as I thought he would be.”

“He didn’t call you, you know, did he?” Sirius asked, remembering distinctly the look on Lily’s face the first time Snape had called her that, and the destroyed look hiding at the back of her eyes for days afterwards.

“No,” she said. “I expected him too. He said he was ashamed of the way your parents raised him, Sirius, that he wished he’d been brave like you to escape them.”

At that, Sirius couldn’t hide his shock, spluttering as his eyebrows drew up into his hair.

“He what?” James demanded, sounding outraged.

Unconsciously, Sirius reached for his hand to calm him, braced on the bed as it was to keep him upright, and let James twine their fingers for a second before they both flinched away when Lily looked down at their tangled hands. She only smirked, though the expression didn’t meet her eyes.

She stood and made her way back to the hallway. “I’ll leave you two to get more sleep,” she said, ignoring the men’s reactions. “And don’t worry about Regulus and I.”

James and Sirius looked at each other for a long moment, confused and exhausted, before wordlessly returning to their previous positions curled around each other. It seemed more deliberate now than it had when they originally went to bed, yet Sirius found he didn’t want to move, and they were both asleep within seconds.

[digressfromreality]

Sometimes, We Survive By Forgetting

Synopsis: “You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart is another story,“ Deidra whispered to her newest friend. A stray black dog she found, that had hurt himself outside of her home. What Deidra didn’t know that the stray dog, was her brother-in-law, Sirius Black, who was very surprised to find his brother’s wife very much alive after all these years.

Warning: SMUT, abuse/torture                        Part 3 of ….

(Past: August 1995)

Sirius stood opposite of Albus and her. It was all too much to have her in his childhood home. Half of Sirius expected Regulus to trudge through the door and berate him for being around his girlfriend. He shook his head, this was his brother's wife, they weren't teenagers anymore and Regulus was long gone. Gone how, Albus was trying to see if his could unlock that answer.

Deidra sniffled. It was rather unbecoming of her to be in state of emotional distress in front of others. She nodded for Dumbledore to continue, he had given her a mild pain sedative and a truth potion to help the theoretical process move much quicker. The dull ache was burning the in the back of her mind as he continued.

This Sirius fellow had been oddly right about the miserable house elf. He seemed to wait on her every whim, speaking praises of her, well her former self. Yes, Mistress Black. Your favorite scones Mistress. Mistress will restore the Noble House of Black. He even got choked up bringing up Regulus, but that is when Sirius had barked at the house elf to leave. The subject she noted, was a touchy one. She waited until she was stuffed into a room that her 'brother in law' decreed as hers previously.

"Kreacher?" Called out, wondering if the little creature would appear.

A loud POP, and a bow, the little thing appeared. "Yes, Mistress?" Deidra wondered whether she should correct the elf but she concluded that pleasantries were needed for this conversation.

"I don't know how privy you are to my reasons for staying here, but I was wondering if I could ask you something?" She was holding her knees, unsure of how lax she should sit. Was it safe to be unguarded?

"Kreacher heard, Kreacher hears many things while serving the house of Black."

"So, you know about why I can't remember?" The miserable elf fiddled with his torn garb. "Kreacher if you know something, please tell me."

"Kreacher was there when Master Regulus took Mistress's memories." The elf admitted. Tears piqued at the corner of her eyes, daring to fall. She felt the elf tug on her free hand, she gave him a smile watery smile accepting the handkerchief from him. "Kreacher does not want Mistress to cry. The house of Black does not show weakness." She quietly nodded. Her mind was racing, she had a million and one questions to ask. Where to start? Could she start? Would he answer everything she asked?

"Kreacher what happened?"

"Kreacher must not tell, Master Regulus ordered him so. Never speak of this, never, to no one." So that answered some of her questions right away. This elf was loyal to Regulus and won't talk about things he told him not to.

"Okay, well are there other things you can tell me about your master?" She watched the elf's eyes nearly double in size, she could almost swear she could see excitement flash across his small body.

"Yes mistress."

"Well at least your short-term memory is intact. Yesterday's events were clear in your mind. But that is as far as I can allow today." Deidra was a bit dejected about the progress. Dumbledore had said that he would help her gain her memories back and introduce her to her family. Neither of which he had really done just yet. He patted her hands, giving her an encouraging smile. "Sirius could you show her back to her room, I think she needs to rest now."

"Now, I'm her bloody butler." He mumbled under his breath. He pulled at her arm, "This way princess."

------------------------------------

(Current timeline: March 1996)

"Don't do this Regulus, please." She was gripping his hands so tightly that it hurt her, she was desperate to get him to abandon this mission of his. This was treachery, and she would have to stop him with any means necessary. She didn't want him to get hurt, but she had to do anything to protect her lord. His grey eyes stared down into her concerned hazel ones, her eyes reflected the conflict she felt in that moment.

She was torn between the loyalty of their cause, and the love she thought they shared with one another. Her eyes frantically searched for the slightest hint of regret, a waver in judgment, he couldn't do this to her. Not if he truly loved her. "Please, Reg, don't make me choose between the two. I love you more than you possibly can imagine." She began to tear up, he still hadn't said a word, just forced a hand out of her tight grip to trace the tear trail down her face. His thumb wiped the wetness from her lips.

"I know, Janelle. I know darling. But this must be done. I have to-"

"I gave up everything for you Regulus. I joined this very cause to stay with you, despite the danger, despite the risks. If I was with you, nothing else matter." His stroking paused, his solemn face finally frowned.

"I know. And I will never be able to repay you-" She interrupted again, just absolutely shocked at his response. She pulled from his embrace, taking a step back.

"I don't think you do. I gave up a quiet life, a comfortable engagement to be with you. You know my family wanted me to marry into the Rosier line. I convinced them the House of Black was the better option, that YOU, Regulus, were the better option!" His eyes held contempt, maybe forlorn for better solution but his face gave no indication whether her rant was stalling his decision or not.

"I gave up the right to have children! To be with you, Regulus, to be with you! I've always wanted to be a mother. But I put that aside. Because I had you, and you were enough. And now you're taking that from me!" She wrapped her arms around herself, turning away from her apparent ex-lover. "You're so bloody selfish!" He wrapped his arms around her, cocooning her trembling form in a familiar and somewhat welcomed hold. He brushed some of her freshly bleached hair from her ear.

"I'm doing this for everyone. You will see it eventually." He whispered, his voice full of pain.

"But this is all that we wanted."

"What our parents wanted, Janelle." She shook her head violently.

"No. What WE wanted, Regulus. We are adults, we make our own decisions now."

"Precisely. This is my decision."

"But how could you betray the dark lord like this? How could you betray me like this?" She sobbed, reaching for her wand. "You know what I'm going to have to do, right?" She felt his grasp tighten around her, preventing her from moving her arms. "Regulus?"

"I love you Janelle, more than anything in the world." She could feel the pressure of her wand and well as Regulus's pressed against her temple. She forcibly closed her eyes.

"Please don't do this, I love you too." She wasn't ready to die, she wasn't ready to leave without him. He kissed her golden locks.

"You'll forgive me one day. Oblivate."

"Answers." He muttered. Janelle huffed, her head reaming with a bloody migraine from his latest mind attack. "Black, a traitor." He stepped away from Janelle's pulsating body, she ached deep down into her core. Voldemort had really toyed inside her mind to find the answers he seeks. Not even Dumbledore had found the truth of Regulus's betrayal hidden in her mind. The Dark Lord was livid at the possibility, no reality of one of him own turning their backs from him.

"Your loyalties no longer pure, the old fool had seen to that." He muttered to her.

"Why do you say that?" She bit her lips shut when his attention snapped back towards her. He let out a sound of disapproval as he quickly approached her. She tried to move back, but there was little room on the loveseat she had unceremoniously thrown on. She flinched as he traced his wand on the side of her face, why did she try to solicit an explanation from him? What was wrong with her?

"I know when I see a Phoenix at heart. This 'Deidra' portion of your current life couldn't cope with the atrocities that Janelle committed. What Black had done all those years ago has poisoned your mind, her personality, and furthermore, her loyalty." He snarled jabbing his wand under her chin, forcing her to connect eyes once again.

"But it doesn't mean you completely useless to me. Loyal or not. I have found some purpose for your time spent here." He tapped her chin, opening her mouth wide. She fought trying to close it. She bucked her hips, thrashed her legs trying to stop the inevitable from happening again. Her mind was screaming. God damn Janelle! This was all her fault. Her baggage bled, no hemorrhaged into Deidra's quiet life!

"NO, NO!" She tried to fight his magic as hard as she could, the closer her face came towards the front of his loosened robes the more she-

"Imperio." Suddenly compliance once again, "now Janelle you're going to your master a good time."

---------------------------------

(Past: August 6th 1995)

"Sirius when had you found time to find yourself a woman?" Deidra, no, Janelle scoffed at the idea. She would never be passed around a family, especially to the brother of her late husband. As arrogant, and although as devilishly charming as he was in his youth, it still would never happen. She had experienced all the hurt, pain and confusion he had put Regulus through, she wouldn't allow herself to take his place in that fold of life. The redheaded man went to shake her hand, but she sneered at him, walking away to sit in a chair facing the fire. Charlie looked over at Sirius in surprise, who shrugged his shoulders in response and barked out a laugh.

"She isn't really a people person Charlie, don't mind her." Sirius glared back at Janelle, he had warned Albus that it wasn't a good time to bring her in. There was so much she did and didn't know, and he still couldn't be sure what her honest opinion about war was. The more times they had penetrated her long-lost memories the more of Janelle's old personality came through. As much as that was a comfort to him, her previous loyalties were not. He worried whether letting her sit in on this meeting was a smart idea or not. But he could trust Dumbledore, he had to.

Janelle was slammed up against the kitchen wall, scratching at her throat. A man with honey eyes and scars was panting and pressing a wand to hollow of her neck. She didn't know what had set him off, but he apparently didn't like Janelle. He looked terrible, dark circles under his eyes, a snarl on his lips.

"What are you doing here? Everyone thought you dead?!" He spat out at her. Sirius began tugging at the back of the man from the middle, harshly scolding him.

"Moony, calm down. Dumbledore will explain everything. Just calm down man." The man's eyes lightened for a moment before rage consumed him once more. Janelle was scared shitless.

"How can you forget what she did to you, to us, your friends? The things she did as a Deatheater?" She looked over the man's shoulder as Sirius struggle to contain his friend.

"No but, Moony, just," Sirius really tugged at the man's clothes. Janelle accepted her fate, she was going to be murdered by a scarred man in the ancestral home of her husband. She watched Sirius's long locks slick to his face as he began perspired in the struggle.

"She killed so many of them! How can you hold me back, forgiving her?!" Watching her panic features fade and a neutral expression in its place really enraged him, and his wolf. If she was dying by his hands, she was going to taste the pain and the fear! Not accept it willingly! He wanted her to feel just as they all did when her and Bellatrix-

"Remus! Remus what are you doing!" Janelle's eyes darted towards the door of the hallway, an older redheaded woman had covered her mouth, while another woman with pink hair appeared at the angry man's other side. She tried pulling at his wand arm, "Remus lower your wand!"

He snarled again, "you don't know anything about her, Dora! Or what she has done! Just ask your father what she had did to his family!" Janelle's eyes opened wide watching the woman's features morph. Her hair blazed red! She was metamorphous!

"Remus get ahold of yourself, before I make you!" The woman doled out, snapping the man from his aggressive stance. His cheeks flushed crimson before he loosened his grip from Janelle's neck. The woman pushed the man back, giving him a pointed look. He shook his head, breathing heavy, looking down at his hands. What had he done? Sirius patted the man on the back.

"Let's go take a breather mate," Sirius suggested, directing the other out of the room. The woman in front of Janelle calmed down as well, her hair turning back to bright pink. Janelle absentmindedly rubbed her raw throat. The pink haired woman turned, accessing Janelle's injuries.

"Don't mind Remus, it's a few days before…." The woman trailed off, like she hadn't meant for it to slip.

"The full moon?" Janelle sneered. The woman looked directly at Janelle now, if she hadn't been able to breathe before now her air was really taken from her. Those eyes, did everyone here have those eyes? Tonks stared hard at the woman trying to figure out how she knew.

"How would you know?"

"Lupin, Remus Lupin, right?" Janelle answered unsure. "I knew him in school, I think." Those blue-grey eyes were burning a hole into her soul. The woman backed a step and offered her hand.

"My name's Tonks. And you are?"

"Dei, no, Janelle. My name is Janelle." She shook her head again. "Are you a Black as well?" Tonks scrunched her brow, and pouted her lips.

"I wouldn't admit that willingly, but my mother was Black. Andromedra." That name Janelle recognized from the memories, but she couldn't remember exactly where. "She's first cousin to Sirius if you can believe." That sparked something, the sisters. Regulus's cousins: Bellatrix, Narcissa, and the disgraced one, Andromedra. Tonks watched in interest as she watched something changed in Janelle's eyes.

"She isn't going to be here as well, is she?" Tonks shook her head briefly, slightly amused.

"No, fighting has never really been her thing." She laughed, "Mum has always had a wicked temper though."

"Yes, yes, I remember it had rivaled Bella's on a good day," Janelle muttered.

---------------------------------

The sheer shock nearly subdued his self-control. This had to be a trick of his eyes. Even as many years have passed, Severus never forgot a face. "Janelle?" The extracurricular conversations quieted as their attention quickly shifted towards the usually silent and brooding potions master.

Sirius huffed, of course, Deatheater meeting another Deatheater, a quaint reunion he supposed. She looked around, for someone to offer a moment of clarity, who was this man? Raven colored, almost greasy tresses. Dark, feral eyes. Black robes a bit too big, giving him the appearance of an overgrown bat.

His expressionless face, not revealing any ounce of his true emotions, despite the surprise in his voice. He reminded her of boy in those memories, quiet, reserved other than a raging temper, but brilliant.

"Ah, yes Janelle, I see that Snivil-" she cut him off, while Snape fought the immediate desire to curse Sirius.

"His name is Severus, I thought by now you'd grown from childish sentiments." Sirius was a bit perturbed by his former sister in law, but released a barking laugh.

"Not today love, not today." Sirius sat down at the table, mockingly gesturing for Severus to sit as well.

"I'd rather pitch myself from the Astronomy tower." Severus backed a few paces, taking his usual spot by the corner of the wall. Sirius kicked his legs up on the table crossing his feet.

"Suit yourself." Everyone now turned their attention to the last guests to enter the room, a disgruntled Remus sat down next to his friend, while the headmaster greeted everyone with a small smile.

"Now that everyone is acquainted we have lengthy matters to discuss."

-----------------------------

Severus's head was still swirling as he recounted the turn of events to Narcissa. She was formerly a Black, and wife to one of their Lord's inner circle; who other than her will have any guidance about this situation?

"Can you make heads or tails of this Narcissa?" She sat her tea down, massage her forehead with her left hand.

"Of course, the Black family wasn't already complicated enough." She sighed, "What would you like me to do here?"

"I'm not sure. I only got bits and pieces about why she was there and how they had found her."

"Where is Regulus then?" She leaned back in her chair, "wasn't he the one to orchestrate their disappearance?"

"Presumed dead. He had erased her memories and forced h-"

"Erased her memories? What for?"

"Apparently to leave her to live a sheltered life in a muggle community. Never knowing who she truly was and never meeting another magical being."

"How horrible!" She said incredulously. "To be abandoned to live like filth. But with that being said, how does she know what she does?"

"He preserved memories, books, lists, articles, everything she would need to self-teach. He had set up a modest endowment and a rather comfortable housing for her as well. He must have been planning it for months." Narcissa sighed once again.

"With all that planning, you would think he would have went with her? Or perhaps little cousin was caught? But whom? No one had said anything about his cowardice."

[xxdustnight88]

Looking for Loki Fanfiction?

Here’s your Loki fix from xxDustNight88!

Marvel Only

Christmas Surprise Rated: Mature Pairing: Loki/Darcy Lewis Word Count: 1,494 Summary:  Loki has his eye on a certain Midgardian. Little does he know that she has a surprise up her sleeve this Christmas.

Coffee Connection Rated: Mature Pairing: Loki/Thor Word Count: 3,654 Summary:  After months of playing cat and mouse, Loki and Thor finally have a chance to make a connection one morning at their favorite coffee shoppe.

Death of Me Rated: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Tony Stark Word Count: 4,737 Summary:  Tony and Loki attend a party with a singular intent in mind. After much hesitation, both submit to their desires, eventually admitting that perhaps sometimes you don't need a happy ending to be with the one you care about most.

Dreams of Clarity Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Loki/Thor Word Count: 1,071 Summary:  Sometimes it takes a dream to give us the clarity we need.

Every Moment Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Loki/Thor Word Count: 2,353 Summary: Christmas Eve is not a tradition Loki is familiar with and sees no reason to participate in such affairs. Forced to attend a party of most annoying frivolity by Thor, Loki is shown just how magical Midgardian traditions can be if one is willing to open their heart.

Falling Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Gen Word Count: 824 Summary:  Loki was falling, always falling, but what happens when he lands and the healing begins?

Office Gossip Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Loki/Tony Stark Word Count: 474 Summary:  In which Accounting head, Loki Laufeyson, overhears the CEO’s secretary, Natasha Romanova, chatting up Human Relations coordinator, Bucky Barnes, about the CEO’s recent breakup. Loki takes it upon himself to get the signature he’s been needing for those pesky forms.

Redemption for the Wicked Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Loki/Jane Foster Word Count: 2,103 Word Count:  In the aftermath of the Infinity War, Jane comes to pay her respects to Thor's memory. Loki begins to see her in a different light and it's possible that she sees him differently now too.

Rise Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Gen Word Count: 1,428 Summary:  Thor finds Loki in a surprising place, and with a new outlook on life.

Snake Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Gen Word Count: 1,289 Summary:  Thor learns that there may be a darkness to his brother after all.

Untangled Hearts Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Loki/Tony Stark Word Count: 4,042 Summary: Feeling festive for once, Tony enlists Loki's help decorating the Avengers facility's Christmas tree. When playful singing and banter turns serious, much more is untangled than a simple strand of lights. Will Loki flee or open his heart to the possibility of something more this holiday season?

Crossover Full-Length Fics

Break Me, Take Me, Never Let Me Go Rated: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Hermione Granger Word Count: 19,825 Summary:  A drunken girl's night in and a potentially illegal "soulmate" spell, leads Hermione into going against everything she knows and believes in order to convince the God of Mischief that he's her one true soulmate.

The Gift Rated: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Thor/Hermione Granger Word Count: 6,912 Summary:  She's engaged to his brother, but that doesn't stop Loki from seducing Hermione. Torn between the two, she vows to keep her indiscretions in the past. But little does she know, Thor has quite the surprise up his sleeve. What sort of gift will be revealed, and where exactly does Loki factor into their happily ever after?

Crossover Full-Length Fics: Part of a Series

Wolves without Teeth Rated: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Hermione Granger Word Count: 217,098 Summary:  In the age old fight of good versus evil, two souls converge in a battle to stop the end of all worlds. With the universe crumbling around them, Loki and Hermione find themselves connected by more than just their magical abilities. A myth becomes reality when an old foe comes tearing through the realms seeking revenge upon those who wronged him. What will happen when Loki and Hermione discover there's much more to their connection than meets the eye? Will they be forced to sacrifice everything they've ever wanted in order to save the nine realms or will love prevail?

Empire Rated: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Hermione Granger Word Count: 153,120 Summary:  Nine months after the fall of Fenrir, Hermione and Loki are still realms apart, physically and mentally. With a new threat lurking just on the horizon, complete with prophecies and time travel, will the two be able to save not only their budding family, but their friends’ as well, or will evil prevail?

Crossover One-Shots: Part of a Series

All if Fair Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Loki/Hermione Granger Word Count: 1,549 Summary:  Hermione learns a secret about Loki and finds that even though it's bound to ruin their lives, a broken heart may be easier to handle than fighting an all-out war.

Leave It At That Rated: Mature Pairing: Loki/Hermione Granger Word Count: 1,607 Summary:  Desperate for help solving a case, Hermione finds herself having to ask someone who she betrayed. Can Loki ignore the past for the sake of their future?

Internal Affairs Rated: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Tony Stark/Hermione Granger Word Count: 3,110 Summary:  After accidentally running into the one and only Tony Stark, Hermione Granger is persuaded to take an internship with the illustrious Avenger. When she walks in on Iron Man and Loki engaged in a bit of an afternoon delight, she has two choices: flee back to her boring office or stay and join in the affair of a lifetime.

From the Desk of Ms Granger Rated: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Tony Stark/Hermione Granger Word Count: 2,236 Summary:  After realizing that it's been a while since their last rendezvous, Hermione pens a rather naughty letter to her two lovers requesting that they meet up as soon as possible.

Crossover One-Shots

A Die Hard Christmas Debate Rated: Mature Pairing: Loki/Hermione Granger Word Count: 1,580 Summary:  During their winter honeymoon to the Orkney Islands, Loki and Hermione get into a festive little debate.

A Snowy Escape Rated: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Hermione Granger Word Count: 1,375 Summary:  Hermione and Loki enjoy a snowy escape from the chaos of their lives.

Begging to Be Bound Rated: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Hermione Granger Word Count: 558 Summary:  Once wasn't enough for Hermione when it came to being bound by the lustful Loki.

Cupcake Calling Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Loki/Pansy Parkinson Word Count: 945 Summary:  While visiting Midgard for his special cupcake treat, Loki nearly gets more than he bargained for leaving him wanting more.

Home Alone Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Loki/Harry Potter Word Count: 2,058 Summary:  Harry and Loki grow a little closer as they bond over a classic holiday movie.

Lonely No More Rated: Mature Pairing: Loki/Pansy Parkinson Word Count: 2,099 Summary:  Nerves are normal for a first date. Especially, if that first date happens to be with someone unexpected.

Mistletoe Mischief Rated: Mature Pairing: Loki/Pansy Parkinson Word Count: 2,288 Summary:  In which Pansy and Loki find themselves trapped in the middle of a snowstorm by a mischievous mistletoe.

Nothing Less Rated: Mature Pairing: Loki/Regulus Black Word Count: 3,000 Summary:  Death was something of an unknown to him, so when Regulus died, he didn't quite know what to expect. With the death of his lover, Loki knew he would do anything in his power to resurrect him on Asgard.

Potion Problems Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Loki/Pansy Parkinson Word Count: 1,669 Summary:  Pansy's final Potions project of the year takes an explosive turn, sending her someplace wholly unexpected for the start of her summer.

Snakes I Adore Rated: Mature Pairing: Loki/Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson Word Count: 2,172 Summary:  Reminiscing about how much she adores her lovers, Hermione enjoys a quiet moment while Pansy and Loki remain sleeping.

Solace in You Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Loki/Harry Potter Word Count: 1,219 Summary:  Both Loki and Harry seek solace in the forest. Alone. But what happens when they are no longer alone?

Subtext Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Loki/Pansy Parkinson Word Count: 683 Summary:  Pansy confronts Loki with a rather intriguing question.

The Door in the Dungeon Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Gen Word Count: 1,681 Summary:  There's a door in the Zabini dungeons that has always tempted Blaise. What magic is hidden beyond its ornate surface?

The First and Last Time Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Loki/Hermione Granger Word Count: 874 Summary:  Hermione reflects on the first and last time that she saw Loki.

Three’s a Splash Rated: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Natasha Romanov/Hermione Granger Word Count: 4,952 Summary:  Imprisoned in a tropical paradise, Hermione and Natasha decide to take advantage of their luxurious pool. After a bit of convincing, Loki joins his lovers. As it turns out a two person raft is not meant for three, forcing them to embrace the situation. In the end, none of them seem to mind.

‘tis the season Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Loki/Pansy Parkinson Word Count: 1,258 Summary:  When Pansy stumbles into Loki at the Christmas market, they find more than they expected.

Unexpected Lovers Rated: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Thor/Hermione Granger Word Count: 1,876 Summary:  While on a mission, Loki, Thor, and Hermione get caught in a snowstorm. Huddling for warmth in an alleyway takes an interesting turn when Loki suggest Thor warm up his witch in a much quicker way.

Welcome to Jotunheim Rated: Explicit Pairing: Loki/Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson Word Count: 1,768 Summary:  A magical mishap lands Hermione and Pansy right in the middle of Jotunheim. Who better to keep them warm than Loki?

What’s in a name? Rated: Teen & Up Pairing: Loki/Hermione Granger Word Count: 763 Summary:  When your cat has the same name as your boyfriend, you learn new ways of pushing all the right buttons.

Most of these stories can also be found on FFN.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Second Chance 5

Harry Potter AU

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader 

Link to Chapter 4

Rating: M- smut

________

After Remus and Tonks ushered Matilda and Harry out of the bar, Sirius went in search of the bottle of fire whiskey that Greyback had been holding. You, meanwhile, were still staring at the place that Matilda had been standing in. What was she honestly thinking about by going after that massive werewolf? If something happened to your daughter, you would never forgive yourself.

“Those two are going to be the death of us.”

Sirius’ voice pulled you from your thoughts. You turned in his direction as he downed a shot of whiskey.

You’re going to be the death of me too.

You thought.

“Yeah, they really have it in for us. Where did you go with Remus?”

Sirius’ eyes rolled up to meet yours. He knew that this was going to be an unpleasant conversation. You were not going to like his answer.

“I found out where Peter is hanging out. Malfoy Manor on Thursdays.”

“How did you find out?”

You asked, softly. Sirius winced.

“Before you go getting mad at me, know that I did it to find out the information…”

You held a hand up.

“Sirius, I don’t like conversations that start this way...especially from you.”

“I got the information from Sarah Meadowes.”

Sirius winced when the expression on your face darkened.

“Did she touch you?”

You knew all about what Sarah was up to now. Her career choice would make Dorcas roll over in her grave. Dorcas would die of shame knowing that her little sister was an exotic dancer.

“A little bit...it didn’t mean anything.”

Sirius’ nonchalant answer was 10 times more painful than if he had admitted it and begged for forgiveness. He stood behind the bar looking like it was no big deal. So what if he went to a strip club for some bitch, who wasn’t his lover, to rub all over him? It was no big deal and apparently, you shouldn’t be bothered by it...what a dream!

“It didn’t mean anything.”

Sirius shook his head.

“No. I didn’t get hard or anything. Now if it was you dressed like that rubbing all over me...you wouldn’t be able to walk straight.”

Your mouth dropped. What was he actually thinking? How did he even remotely think that you were going to be okay with this? Sure, he got info on Peter but at what cost?

“So why didn’t Remus go talk to her?”

You asked, trying to keep a grip on your temper. Sirius shrugged, still seeming clueless.

“Said something about Tonks getting mad at him...I wasn’t really listening.”

“Maybe you should worry about what your own girlfriend would have to say?”

Sirius’ head snapped up at that. Fuck, he knew that look. You were mad. Mad was probably putting things lightly.

“You’re my fiance not girlfriend. Big difference. I thought you trusted me.”

You shook your head before turning and storming toward the door.

“Fuck you.”

Before Sirius could get to you, you apperated from the room leaving him alone to piece together his wrongdoings.

Arriving back at Grimmauld Place, Sirius was trying to put together what his apology would consist of. Maybe he could make a case about how now you knew how he felt finding out that you were an auror or what would you do for information. Both didn’t sound too great and he decided to stay away from both of them.

The bedroom door was locked when Sirius tried to walk in. Matilda sat in the hallway hidden halfway by shadows.

“Mum doesn’t want to talk to you.”

Matilda said quietly. Sirius looked down at his daughter who looked grim.

“Yeah? Well, she is going to have to talk to me sometime.”

Matilda only scowled at him. She didn’t reply as she went back to the book that she was reading. The last thing that she wanted to admit was the fact that she heard what her parent’s latest argument was about. She wanted to tell her father that although his intentions were good; his handling of “getting information” was straight stupid.

“I see that you are mad at me too?”

Sirius questioned. Matilda only nodded.

“That was dumb...what you did.”

“How do you know?”

Sirius snapped, feeling suddenly annoyed. Had you gone and told the girl what happened?

“I could hear mummy crying to Uncle Remus. The two of you should know that you are both very loud and your voices carry.”

The expression on Matilda’s face reminded him eerily of the expression that Regulus would have whenever their own parents argued. Matilda was off in her own world and wanted nothing to do with anyone else.

“Tilley…”

Matilda stood up. She lightly knocked on the bedroom door to be let in.

“I don’t want to hear it. Things aren’t supposed to be this way. You are supposed to make mummy happy not make her cry. If all the two of you are going to do is argue then maybe you shouldn’t be together.”

She gave Sirius a final scowl as the door opened enough for her to slip in. The door closing left Sirius standing completely baffled.

Running a hand over his face, he felt worse than ever. Matilda shouldn’t be worrying about her parent’s problems and here she was doing it.

“That didn’t sound too good”

Sirius frowned in Remus’ direction. He wasn’t aware that his friend had heard the whole conversation.

“Yeah, I just got my ass handed to me by my 13-year-old.”

Remus rolled his eyes.

“I never told you to let Sarah give you a lapdance. I figured that the two of you would only talk.”

Sirius had enough of everyone in the house by this point.

“Lesson number 1, Remus, strippers don’t give you jack fucking shit for free.”

Sirius turned and stormed down the stairs without another word

An hour later, Matilda walked downstairs. She stopped the moment that she saw Sirius staring at the Black family tapestry with an expression of disgust on his face. After their argument a bit before, she was feeling a bit guilty.

Matilda didn’t have to look at the tapestry to know what Sirius was looking at...his blown off name. Walburga had at least added your name beside Sirius’ and below that put Matilda’s name.

“I think grandmama had a few screws loose.”

Matilda said, softly. Sirius didn’t move his eyes from the tapestry as Matilda’s arms wrapped around his waist. He absentmindedly stroked her hair with his free hand.

“That she did.”

Sirius replied. He had been trying to piece together what you did to gain enough favor in Walburga’s eyes to be added to the family tree. His best guess was having Matilda. He was thankful at the moment that Walburga had died. If the old bat was still alive to see her granddaughter sorted into Gryffindor; she would have probably blasted Matilda off of the tapestry for being too much like her father.

“Dad, I’m sorry about what I said.”

Sirius turned his attention back to his daughter.

“It's fine, Tilley. You come by that temper honestly. I need to talk to your mum.”

“Well, it's your lucky day because she wants to see you.”

Matilda said with a smirk before adding.

“Just don’t say anything dumb. She has calmed down.”

Matilda tried not to laugh at the surprised expression on Sirius’ face. She got the idea that he was still not used to a little girl that was brutally honest.

“I’ll keep that in mind, sugar.”

He said. Sirius was, in fact still, trying to get used to Matilda’s brutally honest personality. She was definitely the person to ask if you were curious whether or not an outfit made you look fat or not.

Sirius didn’t waste any time going back upstairs. The fact that you wanted to talk to him was enough to make Sirius rush to you.

“Close the door.”

You said as he stepped in. Sirius did as he was told before turning to face you. You sat dressed in a silk robe looking at him with that annoyed expression he knew so well. Sirius quickly put a silencing charm on the room. The last thing that he wanted was for Matilda and her eagle-like hearing to pick any of this up.

“Y/n, love, I promise nothing happened between Sarah and myself. You the only woman that I…”

You held up a hand silencing him with an icy expression.

“Sit down.”

Sirius quickly did as he was told and sat down in the vacant seat across from you. He had a feeling that you weren’t as quiet over his transgressions as once hoped.

“Do you want some whore to give you a lap dance?”

You asked, standing up. Sirius’ eyes widened as you undid the knot of the robe and let it fall. You stood dressed in only a black lace bustier that pushed your breasts higher. The expression on Sirius’ face was enough to let you know that you had him exactly where you wanted. He was putty in your capable little hands.

Sirius swallowed as his eyes fell down your body. The bustier was connected to thigh high stockings and a matching lace thong.

“Love…”

“Quiet.”

You said, sharply. Sirius gave you a shit-eating smirk. The outfit alone was enough to make Sirius do whatever you wanted.

“Come here.”

You shook your head. Sirius wasn’t in charge like normal. You were. You would be the one calling the shots and he was going to sit there like a good boy.

“I’m telling you what to do and I said to sit there and shut up. Be a good boy for once.”

You smirked as Sirius shut his mouth and looked at you as if pleading for one simple touch. His grey eyes had darkened as you plopped down on his lap. You gently pressed your breasts together as you reached out to unbutton the dress shirt that he was wearing halfway. His hands were squeezing the chair so hard his knuckles were turning white.

Sirius slowly reached up; desperate to touch you. If he could get just one touch in he knew that he could have you. Those blasted stockings were making him ache. Fuck, everything about the outfit was making him ache! Had he forgotten just how much he was a sucker for you in lingerie?

You quickly slapped his hands away. The surprised and offended expression on Sirius’ face was too amusing.

“I said no touching. Fuck up again and I’ll handcuff your hands behind your back and there won’t be any touching. You can sit there and watch me touch myself.”

Sirius was surprised by the comment. He had never heard those types of words leave your pretty little mouth...he liked it.

You stroked your finger down the center of his chest until you reached the point where his shirt was still tucked into his pants.

“Fuck, baby.”

Sirius groaned. You let the comment slip as you stood enough to spread his legs a bit. Straddling his right leg, you rocked your lower body against Sirius’s thigh.

Fucking damn, she ridding my thigh.

Sirius thought, trying to keep control of his own emotions. It was taking everything that he had not to pin you to the bed and have his way with you. Did you realize how much of a tease this was? He was beginning to become that needy mess that he used to be before the two of you became a couple.

You took Sirius’ hand and placed it on your lace-covered breast. His hand wrapped around the plump flesh basking in any chance he had to touch you.

“You’re killing me, love.”

Sirius said hoarsely. You gave him an innocent smile before reaching down and stroking his very prominent erection. Sirius bucked his hips into your hand.

“I see. You’ll be just fine though.”

You cooed, pressing tender kisses to his jawline. Sitting back up, you ran your fingers through his hair. Sirius groaned. Now you were really fucking with him. This little peep show was turning into one of the hottest things the two of you had done in a long time!

Grabbing a handful of Sirius’ hair, you yanked his head back for a rough kiss. He groaned against your lips enjoying the manhandling.

“I miss your long hair.”

“Come on princess, fuck me.”

He moaned against your mouth. You gave him a smile shaking your head. Instead, you slipped your breasts out of the bustier. Sirius’ eyes widened as he bit his bottom lip harder. If he could just get his mouth on you...

“Suck.”

You said in that authoritative tone that made his cock ache with need. Sirius didn’t have to be told twice to open his mouth and wrap his lips around your breast. His eyes closed as he took his time alternating between kissing, sucking, and nipping at your tender flesh.

“That feels so good.”

You sighed, relaxing that you were rocking your body against his again. Sirius smirked against your skin as his eyes fluttered open.

“Why don’t you get my cock out of my pants and make yourself feel even better?”

He suggested with a playful smirk.

“Soon.”

You said, patting his cheek. That wasn’t enough for Sirius. He needed something more physical than being allowed to play with your tits. You were letting him do that after a few weeks of dating. Sirius needed something more. Breast play was PG-13 to him. Sirius was ready for something with a XXX rating.

“Are you wet, baby?”

He asked, kissing your breast one more time.

“What do you think?”

You asked, coyly. Sirius leaned back in the chair taking on his cocky “Black” family scowl. You couldn’t help but think how sexy Sirius looked sitting there with his shirt unbuttoned with his hands at his side. His eyes were watching every move that you made with a hungry desperate expression.

“I think you should take those knickers off and let me have some time with your twat before I fuck you senseless.”

The exchange of power slowly began to shift as you obediently got off of Sirius’ lap and removed the lace thong. Sirius smiled, knowing that he was winning.

“Come here, baby. Let me taste you.”

You slowly stood up on the armchair that Sirius was sitting in. Sirius wrapped his hands around your waist and pulled you down on his face.

“Oh, Merlin”

You muttered as Sirius’ tongue licked over your clit. He lapped at you hungrily. Between drooling over your clit and fingering you painfully slow, Sirius worked on giving numerous love bites to your thighs.

“Sirius…”

You needed something to hold onto but there was nothing to grasp.

“That’s it, love. Say my name.”

He said with a devious smile and pressed his mouth back into your body. You remained in this position a moment longer before pulling away.

“I wasn’t done.”

Sirius said, coldly. The stubborn expression on his face reminded you of a four-year-old who had their blankie in the wash.

“You’ll like this.”

You said as he reached up and wiped your juices from his chin.

“I better. This whole thing has been a fucking tease. You’re lucky that I haven’t come in my pants.”

You gave him a grin as you reached down and unbuttoned his pants. Sirius quickly stood enough to push his pants down and move his dress shirt out of this way.

“There. I want what’s mine.”

He said. You did as asked and lowered yourself onto his throbbing erection. The two of you moaned at the wet heated pressure flowing through both of your bodies.

“Don’t move.”

You said. Sirius’ eyes snapped open. The poor man looked outraged. Just what were you expecting from him?

“I am fucking inside you and you don’t want me to move?”

You nodded, pulling him into another kiss. Sirius was annoyed but the kiss was enough to win him over. He tried to be good (he really did) but the pressure got the better of him.

Sirius wrapped his arms around you and carried you to the bed.

“Fucking take it. You’ve got me all hot and bothered. Time to get your prize. “ He put one leg over his shoulder while the other wrapped around his waist. You tried to keep your leg tightly around him. The last thing that you wanted was to lose the deep wet hold that Sirius had on you.

“Take it all.”

He growled focusing on keeping his entire length inside of you. Sirius could feel your body stretching more with each thrust and it was driving him crazy. He hadn ��t even bothered getting the rest of the lingerie off of you. The thigh-high stockings and how your breasts bounced with each thrust was enough to keep him going.

“So fucking sexy.”

You, meanwhile, lay with your hands desperately grabbing at the sheets while trying to keep yourself from coming too early. In the beginning, you had all intentions of being the dominant one during this little romp, however, once Sirius took over you were fine with the power shift. You were happy to be his obedient little submissive if it kept your fiance plumbing you like this.

“Damn it, Y/n, you are going to have to come. I can’t keep waiting.”

You grinned, evilly. He wasn’t going to finish you off this quickly...or was he? With one touch to your clit, your body began to spasm. Two deep thrusts and circular motions to your clit was enough to have you coming apart as Sirius set up a near feverish pace.

“Fuck!”

Sirius gasped before filling you completely. He remained motionless for a moment. The feeling of full satisfaction was relieving.

“You know, if you want to throw me on a bed and do this again...I wouldn’t really complain.”

Sirius said with a smirk as he gently put your leg down on the bed in order to join you. You wrapped your arm around his chest in order to preserve any physical contact possible.

“I have always loved throwing you on the bed and having my way with you.”

Sirius lay with his eyes closed. He looked like he had won some super amazing reward.

“Maybe we need to invest in more lingerie?”

______

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[ashes-and-ashes]

tw for blood, abuse and some pretty graphic injuries

~

The light wakes him up.

At first he’s not sure what it is, the sudden wave of silver that floods his room. He wonders if it is lightning; the storm is roaring outside his bedroom window, all rain and wind and thunder. Remus’ bedroom is at the top of the house and he can hear every drop of water pounding against the shingles of the roof.

He blinks sleepily, sitting up in his bed. The sheets are tangled around his legs; he was having a nightmare, one of his usuals, the one where he was a wolf and his friends were dead, their blood underneath his paws. He stares at his hands quickly, just to calm his raging heartbeat, just to assure himself that he was dreaming, it was all a dream, they’re alive.

Remus scrubs his hand over his face, yanking sleepily at his hair. He’s almost about to go back to sleep when he sees it.

The dog races around the room, trailing streaks of silver behind it. He recognizes it instantly - it’s a patronus, Sirius’ to be exact and he can’t stop himself from smiling. They had been trying to learn how to send messages with patronuses for ages - neither of them had been successful yet. Remus grins, holding a hand cautiously out to the dog - their attempts had often gone horribly wrong, including accidentally turning the other person translucent for a solid week.

“Hey,” he whispers. “Come here. Come here boy.”

The dog pads over obediently - Remus’ grin grows as he imagines Sirius, that dog form of his running around the forest, snapping at butterflies and mushrooms and plants. The dog places its head in Remus’ hand - it feels like a bottle of mist had been poured over his hand.

He’s still smiling when Sirius’ voice echoes from the body of the dog.

“Re - Remus, please, I...I need to...Fuck. Fuck, Remus, I need somewhere to go, somewhere to hide, I - Jesus, I don’t know if this will work, send a patronus back to me - Fuck. Oh fuck, please work, please work...”

The message trails off; the dog gives one last wag of its tail and vanishes, leaving Remus alone in his dark bedroom. His heart is pounding in his chest, panic filling his bones and God, he’s always known this day would come, when Walburga beat Sirius too badly, hurt him beyond the point of return, until he was so shattered and so broken he could never be put back together.

“Fuck,” Remus says; his hands are curled into fists at his side, his breathing rough and ragged. He wants to punch something, though he doesn’t know what, his head spinning.

Please, he thinks. Let him be okay, just let him be okay, I’ll do anything -

Remus fumbles for his wand; he finds it on the floor beside his bed. His hands are surprisingly steady as he flicks his wand. “Expecto Patronum!”

There’s nothing but a puff of silver smoke emitting from the end; Remus curses. With a grimace, he tries again, summoning up a memory of him and Sirius, a hot summer’s day by the lake, all golden and yellow and brown. He can still remember it - the soft feeling of Sirius’ lips against his own, the coolness of the water over his skin. The two of them, on their backs by the lake, the reeds high enough to screen them from view.

The patronus blooms from his wand, silver light flooding the room. Remus barely has time to blink before it’s gone, vanishing out the window into the sky.

Another bolt of lightning illuminates his room; Remus bites his lip. Images flash through his head, all the scars on Sirius’ back; burn marks and slash marks and brusies and bones, pieces of history that Remus had traced his hands over.

He was going to kill her. He was going to kill Walburga.

It scared him sometimes, the hatred he felt for Sirius’ mother. He’d only ever felt that way, that level of hatred for -

Greyback’s sneering face looms in front of him. Remus cringes away; he can’t think of Greyback right now, not with this level of anxiety. There’s an old sweater on the floor and Remus pulls it on, grateful for the softness of the garment.

He’s pacing, up and down his bedroom when an ear splitting crack fills the room and Sirius collapses onto the floor.

Remus is next to him in an instant. Sirius is covered in blood; it coats his hair, his hands, streaks of it on his cheekbone and down his neck. Remus can clearly see bruises, purples and blues and greens on Sirius’ pale skin; he thinks he sees the edge of a fingerprint on Sirius’ neck and a vicious red mist fills his eyes.

He throws a blanket around Sirius, tucks it in at the edges. Sirius just lets out a quiet groan, curling up on himself, arms wrapped tight like he was trying to stop his heart, his soul from bleeding out with the rest of him.

“Sirius,” Remus says; his voice sounds too high and thin, even to his own ears. “Sirius, Jesus Christ, you’re bleeding to death.”

Sirius just shakes his head. “It’s not mine.”

“I can literally see the lashes on your back, Sirius - “

“It’s not all mine,” Sirius corrects.

He’s done. Remus has never seen Sirius like this before, all rigid and pale, trembling on the floor. His eyes are wide, the pupils blown, his hair a matted mess around his scalp. He’s shaking as well, so hard that the blanket almost slips off his shoulder; there are more wounds there, ugly gaping ones that showed a few glints of bone.

Remus swallows. He wants to scream, wants to cover Sirius’ body with his own, take on his burden. Instead he tucks the blanket around Sirius’ shoulders, pulls him up so that Sirius is resting between Remus’ legs, his head on Remus’ collarbone. Remus tries to put his hands around Sirius but he winces; the wounds were obviously too fresh for touching.

“Sirius,” Remus says, as gently as possible. “What happened?”

Sirius is still shaking; it’s like holding the vibrating strings on a guitar, all sharp, tense movement. He clutches onto Remus’ arm, so hard that his nails cut into Remus’ skin. “Oh God. Oh God, I - “

Remus strokes his hair; blood flakes off into his palms, the backs of his hands. He ignores it. “Shh. Calm down.”

“She was torturing me,” Sirius whispers. “Beating and beating me, all because she found my letters. And I kept mouthing off - “

Remus shakes his head. He knew why Sirius did it, that desperate urge to keep his mother’s wrath focused on him and not on Regulus. And yet every bone his his body rebelled at the thought of Sirius being hurt, being tortured until he collapsed.

“ - I kept mouthing off and she was getting madder and God, there was blood everywhere and...”

Sirius takes a shuddering breath. “She made me use an unforgivable on Reg. Put me under Imperio and made me Crucio him, over and over again and he was screaming and I was screaming and - “ He took a gasping breath. “It was just - the pain and there was too much and I don’t know what happened - “

“Sirius,” Remus whispers. Ice floods his veins, the taste of blood filling his mouth. “Oh God. You - “

Sirius closes his eyes, his entire body shaking. “I killed her,” he breathes. “I killed my own mother.”