#and sometimes i want to like a post but i dont want it on my blog. its not a crime and its not that deep

[purple-paige-purple]

my main pazzi evidence!

hey guys, people have been asking me to give me reasoning as to why i think pazzi is real so here ya go. there is A LOT more i could say and a ton more evidence but imma try to piece my basic thoughts together explain as much as i can consicely.

1. their general vibe

ok lemme say first of all, the thing that pisses me off most about pazzi deniers is that they dont acknowledge hard evidence. like hand placement, eye contact, the "is it spit" video, etc. but the thing that's the absolute kicker to me is their entire vibe around each other.

i think the animal letter/pillow video is a really good example of this. start by imagining how you would play that game with your friends, even your closest friends of ten years. would you giggle at them and smile at them the way that p + a look at/talk to each other? probably not. (and if you do, babes im gonna hold your hand when i tell you this...) the entire video was just not something you'd expect from friends AT ALL.

also. the way paige's ENTIRE demeanor changes near azzi. duuuuude its so adorable. any time she's talking to azzi, and even sometimes when azzi is within earshot, paige's voice softens SUBSTANTIALLY and she becomes more thoughtful and calm. an example of this would be kk's (second) crumbl live in the bedroom, when azzi walks in and all of a sudden paige is now giggling quietly as opposed to cracking up loudly like she was before. i think its the whole "calming presence" idea and p + a really both are each other's anchor.

also u don't go on a cruise with your best friend and act the way they acted (and posted).

2. the hard evidence

the aforementioned "is it spit" video. like bro. no matter what the fuck azzi said, what paige responded was extremely suggestive, and azzi's reaction to it just proves that. paige we know that ur faggot ass's favorite tongue movement to lets just take a chill pill on live tv (jk pls dont stop keep feeding our delulu pazzi shipper asses)

another piece of hard evidence: "happy birthday to the precious princess 💗" OK PAIGE WE KNOW SHES UR WIFE. paige wanted to say "my precious princess" so bad its so obvious

paige and azzi also have not shut down ANY rumors or even spoken on the subject of their suspected relationship. instead, i would go so far as to say they've fed into it, the posts about each other, the continuous posting of the "💗" emoji even though the entire internet has a suspicion about what it means. this also ties into the fact that they do have social media, paige is active a lot, their teammates are active, and they definitely (no matter how) seeing these pazzi edits. they are OUT THERE and even the announcers know it.

ice and kk's faces whenever p + a are flirting got me ctfu every time. ice does not try to hide it AT ALL and even though i think kk tries, once in a while she makes a face (the interview where she is in the middle of them)

3. no other relationships/their dynamic

lets be generous to the deniers and say that they've only had smth (a relationship, whether it be serious or not) since 2021. they have not been with anyone since. i will say it again. they have not been with anyone since. with their popularity and how gorgeous/attractive they both are, i feel like if they were seen close with anyone, we would know about it. fine, someone could say they are just both locking in to school and bball, but i really just think p + a work so well together and basically have the same schedule so there is pretty much no negatives to them being together, therefore no reason why it would take away from school/bball. i think they are each other's person and really just compliment each other so well (opposites attract!)

basically the way they act is not how "just friends" act. i dont make the rules 🤷🏻‍♀️

ok so thats my basic thoughts. i could LITERALLY go on for pages (and i will if you guys want!) just let me know (send me an ask or smth) and ill make more posts with more evidence and just basically debriefing it. ok thank u girlypops for listening to my ted talk

ps. thank you to @elliesglock for debriefing some of the uconn lives, pls continue bc they are so fun to read and u have such good thoughts on everything!

[charalol]

Okay. I'm going to be. Such a hater for a sec bcus like

I keep seeing this post around.

And like. As an autistic person I can see. How it's very easy to fall into this way of thinking. Because YES there is things we will never quite understand. And YES there is things that like. Neurotypical people won't understand. And whatever BUT. I THINK this is much more of like. A bad friend experience ?? More than ?? And autistic one? Like this is clearly just. Lack of communication especially since. This is about children. But also like. To me. It kind of feels like fear mongering yourself a little? And I just feel like it's really not the kind of thinking we should encourage within the autistic community as well bcus. There's so many nuances in friendships too? And like. How can you REALLY know. People from your childhood hated you? Did you ask? Did they really hate you? Truly? And like. Let's just. Not scare ourselves into "trusting our instincts" and then pushing people away/ not allowing ourselves to make new friends just because of one bad experience that. Honestly. Everyone has. This isn't an autistic experience, I fear. A lot of people get scared their friends don't like them. And a lot of people have had shitty friends. I'm not saying stuff like this doesn't happen. I just really don't think this is a good/healthy way to frame it. And. I know it can suck being disliked but let's not also act like people just. Aren't allowed to not click with each other. I just think we should be polite and open and able to communicate about it too. Yknow?

[rainbow-neko-artblog]

I’m asking this out of pure curiosity, in another post you said one of the reasons you don’t like the nightmare critters is because they don’t follow the design rules set by the smiling critters, exactly what do you mean by that? Like in your words what does a critter have to look like to be considered a smiling critter? I’m not trying to be rude or anything I’m just trying to understand what you mean

I dont find this rude don't worry- a lot of people don't actually notice this, but sometimes when a group of characters are designed together, in order to make them look cohesive, there are unspoken rules that may go unnoticed to viewers untrained eye, but helps keeps the characters looking like they came from the same place.

I mentioned, back when I was into Welcome Home, that they used a very special rainbow pallet that hardly ever included purple.

And when old black and white cartoons are brought up, there's specific clothing and anatomy (like pie cut eyes and hose-like limbs) that define the rules of the era.

If you want a cohesive character design, you have to pick out the rules, and then decide when breaking them would benefit the character in a way that won't break the viewers immersion.

Some of the most obvious rules I caught for the smiling critters:

- 2 color pallet.

- Simple Charms

- Tongues but NO TEETH

- Dynamic posing that speaks to their personality

Some of the critters break these rules for the benefit of diversity, but never ALL of them! Dogday is the leader, so he gets an extra color, Crafty is all white, but her CHARM is rainbow, so it balances it out. Kicken doesn't use a lot of his second color, because the LEADER is also using that color.

None of their charms get that detailed. All of them maintain the no teeth rule because that was the whole fucking point of their creepy factor- big open GAPING maws, no teeth. And all of their poses spoke to their personalities. Half of them aren't just *standing there* with a hand up for no reason, and none of them used the same pose.

Now let's compare with these rejects.

Ignoring the fact that Mob Entertainment failed to realize they didn't even post the right images for the first three nightmare critters they showed off (failing to include the iconic smiling critters line-shadow-effect)

-Simon, Maggie, Rabie, Allister and Touille break the color pallet rule, this amount needs to be lowered. To like 3 at most. Holy shit.

-Icky, Maggie, Touille, and Baba's charms are FAR to detailed, they do not need to be.

-THE TEETH OH MY GOD I HATE THE TEETH SO FUCKING MUCH you have ruined anything scary about them in one simply design choice I hope you're happy Mob entertainment.

- Touille and Allister have the same pose. Icky and Maggie have the same pose. Simon and Poe have the same pose. And NONE of them are as effective at telling their personalities as much as the smiling critters were.

Further more- even beyond rules. Icky is FUNDAMENTALY FLAWED as a design. They're ugly- not to mention we all struggled to know what the fuck he actually WAS supposed to be when he was released. It took someone pointing out that he didn't have a tail for me to realize he was one of those toxic frogs.

If you're gonna make something based on a group of characters you ALREADY made, and try to pass them off as new characters, I expect the rules to be the same. These are ugly knock offs made to sell more plushies on Mob entertainments website and I hate them with every FIBER of my being.

[shotatsuki]

Ok so i did that thing where you search your url on tumblr and i found posts from an account i blocked that were talking about me

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I myself am not a specialist on the psychological field, and i may fuck up with definitions and stuff (and since english isn't my first language it probably becomes worse). This is something i will say again and again: Take my words with a huge grain of salt, for i am not that smart when it comes to stuff such as mental illnesses.

I don't know if this is a pro-Para blog, but any1 is welcome here (Just don't be one of the big 3 (Aka Pedophile, zoophile and Necrophile and dont be a part of my dni)) and you are alright to me

(Below this post there is another screenshot. Click on it to have a (probably) better view!)

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I'm so confused... I never said i supported pedophilia AT ALL??? I myself said that i feel uncomfy with the term autoPedo, I Block maps that reach out to me, and i WASN'T EVEN TALKING ABOUT PEDOPHILIA in the post???? I was talking about AutoShotas/Lolis (When you want to be a shota/loli) I never said i wanted to be a shota/loli irl (I said that it could be achieved sometimes by ocs, personas and things like that)

So what is the point here?? i'm genuinely confused... Can someone please explain what this anti meant??? How can i be/support pedos when i'm a minor irl??/gen

[hiding-under-the-willow]

obsessed with ancient/stone age human culture (would have gone on to study it if life hadnt gotten in the way) and so your ghosts au bdubs has me chomping at the bit. what a brilliant and wonderful choice. i dont have a lot of coherent thoughts rn but i love love love the tags in the og post of your recent fanart of him and i hope to see more of him and i love to turn him around in my brain. & wanted to tell you that.

i also think sometimes about how long he spent alone in death before any of the other ghosts joined him and oh, my goodness. how, uh,, how do you think he's doing?

Ghosts AU Bdubs is so interesting to me bc I came in at the beginning mostly just basing him on the portrayal of Robin from the show, which I knew wasn't entirely historically accurate in the first place so I would probably want to go more in depth with him at some point, but I just hadn't taken the time to do the research necessary to actually go through with that development, and then this semester half of my classes these last few weeks have been discussing Paleolithic and Neolithic people and art and something just snapped in my brain and I was like. Ah. Okay. The potential there is crazy actually. So there'll definitely be more of him!! I'm like half using him as an excuse to explore the stuff I learned in my classes more in depth and half using the fact that I learned about this stuff in my classes as an excuse to finally go through and develop him the way I wanted. Symbiotic relationship or whatever.

Also yeah, that long ass gap of time where he was the only ghost around certainly has been bouncing around in my head a bit. I don't have. completely coherent thoughts about it at the moment. I certainly think he might've coped in similar ways to the way Robin does in the show, getting attached to the people living on the property, spending a lot of his time learning from them and talking to them even if they don't realize he's there. I think he probably would've been a much more serious figure in life, and also in the early days of his afterlife (I mean not completely, it's still Bdubs we're talking about lol, but still), that spending all that time alone might've unraveled him a bit. I feel like it's hard to get a definitive grip on like. Who he is. Some days he's kind of obsessive and neurotic, in everyone's business, easily worked up, other days he seems perfectly content to ignore the happenings of the house, just do his own thing out on the property. I feel like most of the other ghosts wouldn't know much about his life, or even his early afterlife, he doesn't talk about it much and when he does it's always some crazy one-off anecdote that doesn't let you in on much of what was actually happening at the time. I think, like Robin in the show, he probably has his moments of like complex emotional or social intelligence that seem kind of out of nowhere from an outside perspective until you think about how long he's been around to have observed and learned about the world, about people.

[lifenconcepts]

wanted to just chime in as someone who had a complicated relationship with specifics terms and stuff and also a so-so understanding of some coherent religion, but I have a deep connection to the divine, and through spirituality and something akin to a religious gaze (but not quite so) tend to view the world in a rather more mystical sense, tending to assume the role of a guide through the energy as I have a touch of mystical knowledge within me that I just can’t bring to claim is anything other than something angelic or divine. I understand entirely the displeasure of your own beliefs being met with individuals who don’t seem to exactly share the same views on a topic as you, but you must get this - there always will be those which tend to use the easiest term they have at hand simply because they don’t know what else to use, or find comfort in being seen one way but truly being something else, and it’s hard ofcourse to come to terms with something that makes your very being and soul feel icky .. but it’s just impossible to have everyone comply to the same rules as you deem is right. I’m not saying that trying to educate others isn’t at all worth it, but rather that sometimes you simply don’t feel good about a category of interests or identity - and that is fine.. but rather than forcing yourself to interact with that side of the world, simply to turn a blind eye. They’re not harming anyone, and you have the choice to also not bother anyone, and let’s live in a world where everyone is just trying their best to be happy and fulfilled - no matter the way it seems to present itself. Doesn’t that seem nice?

In short: if you don’t like it, then dont stress your mind over it and pretend it doesn’t exist! Ignorance can be pleasant when you turn a blind eye to it, especially when it’s something in relation to something as widespread as IDENTITY. It would be impossible (and quite morally wrong) to try police or control it in any way, and so we simply must accept what’s beyond our control and try not to take it to heart. Our souls are tender, but for what is pleasant for someone, may not be good in another’s eye, but it doesn’t mean it’s inherently bad - simply a matter of perspective and different minds/souls/individuals. There almost always exists those which go against our beliefs, and my greatest advice is to just tolerate it at face value and turn a blind eye.. because you won’t be able to change a thing, and I’m sorry, even if it truly seems not right, but the only options are either destroying another’s self and joy while also disturbing your own and the universe’s peace, or to learn to handle it in whatever way you might - and you deserve to keep whatever beliefs you feel are right, but society likely shall always continue to use ‘angels’ and ‘demon/devil’ as these vague concepts? Those little men with horns and beautiful creatures with purpose - it’s defined in different ways by different people (and non-people), from whichever day and age you look at it to, and if you are offended by angels in the internet simply being what feels like their true self, then I suggest you run away into the woods in Halloween because there are plenty of costumes that get angels and demons horrifically wrong. Even with the scriptures we hold.

And still - if angels existed, do exist, and will exist - doesn’t that mean their self will constantly be rewritten time and time again? We can’t stick to the only thing that was written down some long time ago, because just like people believed women to be demons and the common cold to be caused by devil’s hatered and the only solution be cocaine, maybe some things about the divine is outdated.. but I’m not willing to open that can of worms now, but just bringing out the fact that these things sometimes need to be rewritten with newer information. Also, love all the writings of those above my post! <3

I'm a religious otherkin having difficulty sorting my feelings out about angelkin. I feel like beings should identify however they feel best, but I can't help but feel frustrated sometimes because so many portrayals just...aren't angels. Idk it just seems wrong bordering disrespectful sometimes. I'm scared to post about this because the otherkin community seems really hostile towards Christians and I don't even fully know how I feel about it myself. Idk just putting this out there I guess, if any angelkin could weigh in with their experiences please do because I really do want to understand! Please help me figure these feelings out!

🌌

[lucabyte]

some thoughts on Claude

alt title: diversity win! this Butch Nun is crafting bombs in an unventilated room in her convent while actively courting Mother Superior! Do Not Give Them Access To Unlimited Power No Matter How Nice They Are

+ bonus

[bunnyboy-juice]

my lovely mutuals and followers and circle of dykes. i am BEGGING YOU to stop reblogging that "NSAIDS while on spiro damages your liver" post. there have been MANY additions in the comments expanding on the risk factors of mixing these medications (and i HIGHLY recommend looking in the comments. @/boringkate assesses the risk beautifully in there, and many others are in the reblogs expanding on the interactions and risks as well). all those aside - the major risk of mixing NSAIDs and any diuretic (not limited to, but including ibuprofen snd spiro) is RENAL (KIDNEY) PROBLEMS!!! NOT LIVER!!! and the most frequent version ive seen to that post does Not do a good enough job clarifying that "renal function" is related to your kidneys, not your liver. there are some effects that will happen on the liver eventually of course, but the premise of the interactions is wrong in and of itself and this kind of misinformation is kind of dangerous to just take at face value/without curiousity

i encourage you to read the actual drugs.com summary on the interactions between NSAIDs and spiro that keeps being referenced in that post (more on this under the cut). it is a moderate interaction manageable with increased hydration (your kidneys love water!) and, if you're taking spiro under the supervision of a doctor, monitoring of your renal function via blood tests. and i understand feeling betrayed learning there are potential interactions between all NSAIDs and diuretics because these risks are often not clearly communicated by doctors themselves, but in the pharmacy and usually in that packet that comes with your meds that most people are more likely to toss than read - but please do not make sudden rapid changes to your healthcare plans or work yourself into a panic on ever taking a pain med ever again based on that post and PLEASE fact check things you read on the internet before spreading it as Health Facts, even if its just looking up what different words mean to understand more of what you're reading. i also really do encourage y'all to read on how kidneys work and this is a really nice overview

the risk of kidney problems mostly occurs if you are (1) taking regular doses of both medications (2) NOT drinking enough fluids (3) not communicating with your doctor about all the medications you are taking. if you are taking spiro as a treatment provided by a doctor and are worried about kidney problems after that post, by all means talk to them and ask about getting a blood test to check your kidneys function/health!! im not discouraging this!! your doctor likely isnt bringing this up in the first place though because (in my cursory glance over the sources) many of these studies cited even in the drugs.com article "specific" to ibuprofen and spiro are about a variety of diuretics interactions with a variety of NSAIDs. the ones that arent paywalled are also either acute case studies about elderly patients on diuretics (so who Already have kidney problems/elimination issues) who developed heart issues after diuretics treatement or observational studies specifically on men in good health ages 20-38 to specifically look at drug interactions in the body. in the more acute cases, with proper management/alternative medications almost every single case was reversible and resolvable. many of these medications in these papers also are ones I have not heard of or taken, so i did look up every single drug i didnt recognize by name references to confirm my initial assumption that the reason this is labeled a Moderate instead of low risk interaction is because All NSAIDS and diuretics have potential interactions (confirmed also that the major effect is that NSAIDS have the potential to reduce the efficacy of diuretics, which leads to fluid and salt retention, which can lead to other issues - namely heart issues in the most extreme cases) with variable effects based on specific combination of the drugs used, the patients specific health, and the dosage (not just the size of dose, but the timing as well).

as an aside: if you habitually are taking frequent (read: daily/scheduled, not a one off for a headache or other body pains) doses of OTC NSAIDs, Regardless of taking diuretics, you NEED to tell your doctor because even though its available over the counter (at least in the US) it is still a major medication in your life/relevant to your physiochemistry!! OTC medications are often overlooked by doctors and people alike because they are seen as ubiquitous and to many doctors OTC pain meds, like NSAIDS, are assumed be used in acute pain situations where the dosage is minimal/infrequent enough it will likely have little to no long term effect with other medications.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

im with fam but i always thinka him so doodle time

[lovesickeros]

zhongli and neuvillette fighting over their reader 🤭🤭

scary dog privilege wherever you go, draconic courting gestures that would scare any regular person, they send each other deadly glares the moment you turn away,

stealing your clothes to just get a whiff of your scent, marking their territory all over your house - making it a battlefield basically, neuvillette (in my hc) is cooler and zhongli is warm so the cuddles are always so comfy ☺️😍,

they give you anything you want - you don't even have to lift a finger, they make you travel between the nations a lot though 😒 sooo clingyyy, extra gentle in their dragon forms as to not squish you, don't even get me started on the size difference 😍😍

just a little thought 🤭☺️

- 🐈‍⬛

Neuvi being colder is so real and canon. I see him as being colder + a lot more lithe, kinda lanky with smaller but sharper canines versus Zhongli who's warmer and a bit shorter then Neuvi + bulkier with bigger but not as sharp canines.

They've also got very different habits – Zhongli is very prideful not just of himself but his nation. He'll personally give your a tour and purposely drag it out as long as he can. Complimenting Liyue is basically complimenting him, checkmate Neuvi. Especially if he convinces you to try on some local Liyue fashion. Harmless and just a nice gift to anyone else but Neuvi sees it for what it is (since your wearing something from Liyue, technically wearing something of his. He loves his technicalities when it comes to staking a claim over you). Adds salt to the wound by touching you in totally innocent ways like to adjust you towards something he wants to show you or accidently brushing against you when he takes the bags of spoils he's practically drowning you in but really he's just making sure his scent sticks. He's just a sweet, nice gentleman with absolutely no ulterior motives trust.

Neuvillette does love Fontaine, but his habits are more about himself then the nation. He'll take you around if you ask or if the idea strikes him, but you'll probably stay around the making city area or the opera house specifically. He enjoys more personal time with just you and him then anything else. He values the immaterial to the material. Zhongli spoils you with gifts, but Neuvi tries to offer quality time irregardless of physical gifts (though he still gives them just not to the extent of Zhongli). He'll take you to see different operas if that's to your fancy, or leverage a bit of his authority to maybe see a few films since those seem to be hitting off in Fontaine recently. Bet that creaky old archon doesn't have those huh. He feels awkward if you want to watch a trial, but he'll reluctantly agree because. well. it's you. just don't wave or anything he's trying to work and he just Really wants to see you smile at him like that again and it makes him lose his train of thought. gets custom clothes designed by Chiori to replace your clothes from Liyue because they smell of Zhongli and it makes him sulky + he likes to match.

G-d forbid these two are in the same room as you because it's a war of attrition at that point. Constant accidental brush of the hand against your shoulder or elbow but it's just them trying to get rid of the others scent. they are side eyeing each other behind your back while being all smiles whenever your looking. If it's hot and you lean into Neuvi more he's practically GLOWING. not even smug he's just absolutely smitten and happy to be of service. immediately takes off his gloves and presses his hands to your face asking if your okay and if you want to go back with him. if it's cold out and you seek out Zhongli more hes smug as hell beneath the calm veneer. Offers you his coat and stay as physically close to you as he can under the pretense of being worried you'll catch a cold if he doesn't warm you up.

don't even get me started on your house either because you probably have tons of gifts from both of them accumulated everywhere. if Neuvi sees you use a tea set from Zhongli suddenly he had a fantastic gift idea he thought you'd like. he even got some tea included with it so why don't you let him make you some? Zhongli sees you using a goblet Neuvi gave you (totally a coincidence it's similar to his) and suddenly you have 27 square cups in your cabinets that you have no idea where they came from. if the goblet is mysteriously missing oh well. who knows :]

[honeyhobbs]

Feeling bold so yes I'm posting shibari gaz......

[spaceistheplaceart]

found an old ekurei comic rotting in my files, decided to finish it. upon my rewatch of mp100 i kept noticing how many times dimple was referred to as a pet- but he's not ! ! ! he's a friend :)

[paroxysmaljune]

i sincerely believe you cannot judge a person by their texting style online. dont get me wrong i absolutely understand reading too much into messages but.. sometimes im just not feeling it you know? sometimes i text very flatly because i dont have the energy to do much else. and my friends are chill with that which im grateful for but i wish 'their texting style isnt emotive' wasnt seen as such a damning thing. sometimes you just dont feel like being enthusiastic. that doesnt mean youre loved or loving any less

[randomminty]

Any valerieheads out there

[yuwuta]

yuuta crumbs pls queen 😔🤲

here’s something from a fic that’s been kicking my ass as of late, it’s something i planned way back in february as a valentine’s day thing and obvs never got around to finishing it in time 😔 for context, yuuta’s been hit with a kind of cupid’s bow/lovesick curse that makes him act, well... more lovesick than usual. f2l because what's new around here

“Yuuta, stop!” 

He freezes, the tone of your voice shocking him to a complete stop—the desperation and anger in your cry reverberates through him and incites fear. Not the basal kind that makes him feel like he’s in danger; the kind born from anxiety; the kind that makes him terrified of losing you.

When he turns to you, it’s with wide, regretful eyes, and a strikingly meek demeanor, in complete contrast to his previous, eminent bloodlust. He unclenches his fist from Toge’s jacket, dropping him from his grasp to trudge towards you with laser focus.  

“Are you mad at me?” Yuuta questions, words desperate not unlike yours before, but far more rushed, and laced with an anxiety that isn’t unlike the normal Yuuta you know. He stops walking when he’s in front of you, tipping his head down slightly, leaving no room for you to look anywhere but directly at him, when he notices you trying to tip-toe to look past him to Toge, “Did I make you mad? Are you angry? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Please don’t hate me!”  

He keeps pleading with you, begging you not to hate him. You’re not sure that he even knows what he’s apologizing for, but his mantra of don’t hate me, don’t hate me—I love you—don’t hate me rings loudly in your ears. 

His reaction confuses you. Had the way you called his name struck something this despondent and regretful inside of him? Can he even feel true regret right now?—you’re certain if you hadn’t stopped him when you had, he’d have hurt Toge, but he didn’t seem sorry about injuring his friend, only for making you upset. It wasn’t like a few days ago when your mere presence could catch his attention, make him light up and wag his tail like a puppy. You had asked for Yuuta to calm down before he grabbed Toge, but he was blind to your wishes this time—it wasn’t love that was fueling his actions anymore. 

His curse didn’t make sense before, but now it’s grown even more confusing to you. You don’t have time to ponder the abnormalities any further when you start to feel Yuuta’s cursed energy bubbling around you. He’s still crying for forgiveness, clearly remorseful of his actions, but his energy doesn’t wallow with him; it grows stronger with every plea from his lips, and eventually the room feels stifling because of Yuuta’s persistence and exclamations of love for you.  

“No, no—Yuuta, I don’t hate you,” you’re careful to call his name tenderly this time, despite your hurried actions to reach and cradle his face between your palms, “I never said that. I never would.”  

Almost instantly, he seems to calm, the room feels lighter, and he stops rambling for forgiveness once he hears your words. “You… don’t hate me?”  

“No, Yuuta, I could never hate you,” you tell him, gently, endeared by how placid he’s become after a shred of reassurance—and relieved to no longer be drowning in the threat of his cursed energy, “But if you love me—”  

“I do,” he interjects, raising a hand to wrap around your wrists, tilting his head down further into your palms; and his eyes sparkle now like a little kid who’s excited to share something—eager and grounded and certain, “I do love you, not if.”  

You pause, then smile. It’s impressive how chipper he is now when he was bordering on a lovesick-induced panic attack mere seconds ago. “Well since you love me, you can’t hurt the other people I care about.”  

Yuuta frowns now, moving his hands to peel yours away from his face. He lets go of your wrists only to wrap his hands around yours instead, holding them between your bodies. “But I don’t want you to care about anybody else,” he pouts, petulant, the childlike air around him now on the verge of a tantrum, “I love you, and only you. I want you to love me, and only me, too. Isn’t that fair?”  

His words are so earnest and bold, you’re tempted to believe him this time; almost tricked into thinking Yuuta is saying this of his own volition; almost flattered by his proclamation until you remember that these are the emotions and words of a curse, and not his own.  

“I can’t not care about my friends. They care about you, too—Toge cares about you a lot, so you can’t hurt him, or anybody else, not even for me.”   

You feel him squeeze your hands as his lips turn downwards in frustration. He’s quiet for a moment, weighing his options, and you carefully scan his face, hoping your words don’t resonate the wrong way. Luckily, after a minute, a small smile crawls onto Yuuta’s lips and his head perks up before he tells you, “Okay… if… if you care, then Yuuta cares!”  

“Well, that’s not...” you pause, when Yuuta’s grin widens, eyes crinkling from his smile and you don’t have the heart to stop it, nor do you have the capacity to stop him should you trigger another episode. “You know what, yeah that works.”  

“Because I love you!” he continues, moving his hands to rest against your shoulders, now happy and sure of himself, “Do you love Yuuta, too?”  

Your head jerks slightly, leaving you looking up at him owlishly when you realize this is the first time he’s asked you that question. Up until now, the cursed version of Yuuta has put the emphasis on his love for you, unconcerned about a mutual attraction. Even just now, his concern with Toge’s potential attraction to you was a new development—and his true concern seemed to be with how he could stop it, to ensure that you only felt his love.  

Things are changing. Yuuta almost hurt someone he otherwise considers a dear friend—he’s not just playing at pure love anymore—now there’s jealousy, and fear, and a possessive nature on the table, too, and you’re not sure what to expect next. His curse is inexplicably complex, almost impossibly human. You wonder how it’s at all possible. 

You know that Shoko advised you not to feed into Yuuta’s cursed feelings too much, but right now you can hardly see the line between your Yuuta and the lovesick version of him, and you won’t wait until that border is permanently blurred. If reassurance is what it takes to keep his feelings at bay, then so be it. You’re not scared of Yuuta himself, but you fear that he might hurt himself just to seek your approval and love. You can’t let him do that, especially not when he already has it.  

“Of course I do, Yuuta,” you reply, a wobbly smile with teary eyes because now you’re pleading with him, “Please, don’t forget that.”

[nopefer-art-tu]

Home is where I want to be, but I guess I'm already there

I come home, she lifted up her wings. I guess that this must be the place

I can't tell one from another—Did I find you, or you find me?

There was a time before we were born

If someone asks, this where I'll be

Where I'll be