#and sometimes i share my brainworms with the world

[raystriker]

I saw your post about Masmune and Yuu being siblings AU and can you pls tell us more, I am intrigued in that idea 👀

GOD, OKAY UH. so like my au is technically not at all canon compatible, because of the circumstances of them being brothers, but i do think the idea of them being brothers works wonderfully in canon regardless, because we have no clue about either of their parents, and they're very brothers coded.

in my au the whole thing is dependent on doji being masamune's dad. which i do also like to hc for funsies for canon, but ultimately is nothing more than a fun what if, so bear with.

as for canon, if like... doji's son is still a thing, it would be very funny because then the dark nebula is just half a nepo organization. doji puts his children in there to work for him. masamune gets sent to america because doji doesn't want him in battle bladers, but yuu. well. yuu is like ryuuga's bestie. so he gets to stay. it's also why yuu has so many toys and gets special treatment a lot of the time. until doji shows that he is father of the year and attempts to get his son killed for losing a battle. it would make the gan gan galaxy dynamic a whole lot funnier though, because you'd still have masamune and yuu constantly at odds with each other, but now there's a layer of sibling love behind it. masamune would wreck the garcias. yuu would not be as nonchalant about masamune getting lost in russia. but still they'd be estranged, because they spent so long apart. yuu would probably have little child hatred because masamune didn't have to go through what he did. masamune would be upset on a million different levels for a million different reasons, but he's mostly mad at his dad for doing all this to his brother. SUCH FUN!

in my au specifically yuu and masamune are also age gap (half) siblings, because like yadda yadda doji divorced masamune's mom, masamune moves to japan, things happen. and like there doji has a fling with some woman that results in another child, because he's not been careful. mom of the kid dies in childbirth and now he's left with a gremlin child. masamune would've been like... at least 18 when yuu was born. so that's what we're dealing with in this au. i haven't figured out the exact age gap yet, but it's somewhere around that

masamune was actually kind of excited at the prospect of having a brother. and he does love yuu, especially because he helped raise him. they do absolutely still fight like siblings, and their dynamic is still very much like in the show because that's just their personalities for you (it also explains why yuu is the way he is. masamune is nothing if not a bad influence). yuu always jokes about being closer in age to masamune's kid than to him, and when yuu was younger people thought masamune was his dad.

this got super rambly i'm so sorry, but i just have a lot of thoughts in my head

[shuavez]

from a woman — nicholas a. chavez

masterlist

summary — nicholas’ favourite part of every event is stripping the weight of the evening at home with you, along with the formal attire. inspired by from a woman by mariah the scientist.

word count — 1.6k

tags/warnings — suggestive towards end, established relationship!au, a load of self indulgent lovesick waffling, nic is a down bad introvert™

a/n — dedicated to my loveliest eternal brainworm buddy @titsout4nicholas because where would i be without u my baby breezy. it’s been like 3 years since i’ve written, let alone published so please be Kind. reblogs are appreciated!

The cacophony of camera shutters, the soft thrum of a slow R&B track, and the hundreds of layered conversations still echo in your ears, lingering like the faintest scent of perfume even now, 20 minutes after leaving the gala. The evening was a whirlwind—one he’s always halfway reluctant to step into. The flash, the glamour, the carefully curated conversations—it all has a way of exhausting him in a way few things do. And yet, it’s unavoidable. A necessary part of his world.

Nicholas has a love-hate relationship with these events, and he knows you do too. You’d much prefer a boozy brunch with his younger brother and his girlfriend or a late-night detour to a hidden, hole-in-the-wall wine bar where the two of you can melt into the anonymity of the darkened corner, away from prying eyes and familiar faces. Galas, premieres, high-profile shows—they rank high on his list of least favorite things about the job, symbols of a lifestyle he tolerates but doesn’t fully belong to. They feel hollow compared to those quiet, intimate moments you share together, where he can simply exist, undisturbed.

The warmth of your hand sliding into the freshly cut hair at his nape, your fingers threading gently through the soft strands, pulls him out of his thoughts, away from the smattering of raindrops trailing down the driver’s side window. Your touch is light, yet possessive, grounding him in a way nothing else can. He leans into it instinctively, eyes fluttering closed for just a moment as he savors the quiet intimacy.

His own hand, as if by reflex, drifts to your thigh, his thumb brushing absentmindedly over the fabric of your dress. The gesture is simple, almost automatic, but it speaks of a familiarity and comfort that words can’t capture. He opens his eyes, meeting your gaze, and for a moment, the rest of the world blurs, leaving only the two of you in this small, rain-kissed cocoon.

Sometimes, the feeling overwhelms him so much that he thinks he may be ill. He hasn’t been able to give it a name because, to him, love just doesn’t quite cover all bases. You represent a degree of normalcy in his life—a fixture for calm among all the chaos. Sharing new music finds over breakfast and drinking overpriced red wine to the tune of Solange. That’s when he’s happiest, when his head is the most quiet.

It’s just past 1 when the sprinter finally pulls to a rest outside the high-rise that houses your shared apartment. The city is a hum of distant lights and sounds, yet here, at this moment, it all fades into background noise.

Nic slides out of the van with a heavy exhale, loosening his tie as he follows you into the dimly lit lobby. His silence only breaks once you’re in the peaceful sanctuary of your apartment. “Thank you for coming tonight,” he says, and you watch as the tension he’s been carrying all evening seems to peel away with his blazer as he drapes it over a chair by the door.

“Of course, my love.” A hint of relief softens his expression as he catches your eye. You flash him a small, tender smile over your shoulder, sweet and familiar, just slightly lopsided where your canine meets the plush of your lower lip. It’s one of the things he’s always adored about you. He can’t help but smile back, his first genuine one of the night, as he follows the click of your heels into the kitchen.

You’re moving gracefully from cabinet to cabinet, pouring two glasses of deep red wine as the quiet of the apartment settles around you. He watches you, entranced by the simplicity of the moment. The familiar rituals—the clinking of glasses, the way you hand him his without a word—ease away the last threads of stress from the evening. “It was really lovely to see Cooper again,” you say, handing him a glass. “I missed him.”

Nic nods, taking a sip of the wine. “I know. I missed him too… but I think I missed this more.” He raises his glass, clinking it softly against yours, his gaze never leaving your face. Here, in the quiet of home, with the world locked outside, he’s finally where he wants to be.

Before long, the two of you are nestled together on the couch, your heels abandoned somewhere near the door and Nic’s tie totally undone around his neck. The soft pulse of a Majid Jordan song drifts through the room, setting a gentle rhythm to the night. The golden glow of the corner lamp casts warm shadows, wrapping around you like a private swaddle. You sit close, faces mere inches apart, sharing laughter and stolen glances as you exchange stories from the evening, each word slipping easily into the quiet intimacy of the moment.

Nic’s hand moves slowly along the length of your bare legs, his touch a soft, languid caress that leaves warmth in its wake. Every so often, his fingers pause to trace gentle shapes on your skin, little loops and spirals that make you shiver. His fingertips linger on the back of your thigh, drawing delicate, invisible I love you’s that you feel more deeply than words could express. Between quiet whispers and playful smiles, his hand finds yours, fingers intertwining as his gaze settles on you, warm and intense. He leans in slowly, his lips hovering just above yours, breath mingling in the charged silence. The teasing brush of his mouth is soft at first, a gentle taste, before he presses deeper, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you. His hand slides up your thigh, anchoring you to him as the kiss deepens, each touch and shared breath stoking the quiet, simmering heat that fills the room, drawing you both into something irresistible, something you don’t want to end.

“I should’ve known the red wine was a setup,” he murmurs with a smirk, barely pulling back as you playfully smack his chest. The laughter you share breaks through the tension, leaving you both grinning as Nic settles back into the couch, his lap open and inviting. You climb onto him, feeling his hands rest comfortably on your waist as you nestle into his embrace, a familiar warmth blooming in your chest. Somehow, he makes every intimate moment feel like the first all over again, taking you back to late nights in college bars and stolen moments in his dorm room, where everything felt new and thrilling.

Even now, he still makes you feel giddy, like that young, lovestruck freshman, dreaming of a future with him—a white picket fence, a home filled with laughter, maybe a couple of kids running around. Each touch, each glance brings those dreams rushing back, making you feel as if you’re right back at the beginning, falling for him all over again.

Nic watches you, noticing the way your gaze seems to drift, lost in thought even as your eyes rest on his. A small, knowing smile curves his lips, and he lets out a soft, amused huff before giving his legs a gentle nudge to draw you back.

“C’mere,” he murmurs, his voice low and inviting, reaching out to pull you closer until you’re nestled comfortably against him, fully present with him once more.

His fingers trail up your back, tracing soft, languid patterns that send shivers through you as you settle deeper against him. His touch is gentle yet intentional, fingers curling at the nape of your neck as he brings his forehead to rest against yours, the two of you sharing a breath in the quiet warmth of the room. His gaze meets yours, a familiar smolder that sends heat spreading through you, and the world outside blurs, leaving just the two of you wrapped in this moment.

“You know,” he murmurs, his voice low and filled with something deliciously dark, “I think we should take this to the bedroom, instead.”

The words sink into the silence, charged with a longing that leaves you breathless. His thumb brushes across your cheek, lingering with a tenderness that contrasts the intensity of his gaze. He leans in slowly, capturing your lips in a deep, unhurried kiss, savoring the closeness, the taste of you. His hand slides up, fingers threading through your hair as he pulls you even closer, the warmth of him seeping through your skin.

You feel a rush of boldness, your hands moving to the buttons of his shirt, deftly unfastening each one until the fabric falls open, revealing the smooth skin and taut muscle beneath. You let your fingers trace along the dips and valleys of his chest, his heartbeat slightly erratic as your nails graze the skin. The feel of him, solid and steady, grounds you even as the intensity between you builds. You part just enough to look at him, taking in the way his chest rises and falls, his breathing as unsteady as yours.

The shared look says it all, an unspoken agreement in the glimmer of his eyes, in the way his hands skim down your sides, leaving trails of sparks in their wake. Without a word, he shifts, adjusting himself so that he can lift you easily, legs coiled around his waist as he carries you through the soft-lit rooms to the familiar, inviting comfort of your bed.

As he lays you down, he pauses, gaze roaming over you with a mix of reverence and desire. His fingers brush down your arm, pausing to intertwine with yours, grounding you in the quiet intensity of the moment. Here, where the moonlight and cityscape filters through the open blinds, there’s no rush, only the anticipation building between you, thick and sweet.

He leans down, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple, your cheek, the corner of your mouth, each one a promise, a reminder of how much he loves you. And as his lips find yours again, slow and leisurely, you know tonight will be one to remember.

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

I apologize in advance, but the brainworms did a heckin screech and I felt the need to share the chaos.

Imagine, if you will, that our Creator let's it slip that they've interacted with other worlds before reaching Teyvat. (Played other video games) Imagine having to explain that in these other worlds, they may or may not have been interested in the denizens of those realms...sometimes in the romantic sense, which led to wedding bells and/or children.

Cue the uproar from the Genshin cast. The Creator, Blessed Maker of All...you have courted others? Have been married?? You have had children??? Their image of you being pure and untouchable, blown apart into tiny little pieces of confetti. 🎉

Though many loathe to admit it, they are curious...who are these people, what are they like? Is there a common factor in your selection of spouses? You would only pick the very best of a realm to choose as a potential partner, surely another being of creation...or perhaps a demigod?

It leads to the proverbial red string board getting made, the Archons trying to find out who is your most likely pick from their regions. It's all for your safety, your Benevolence! If you insist on having a partner, they must find the perfect match for you! You deserve only the best of the best, after all.

Bonus points if the Creator was a fan of games like the Harvest Moon/Rune Factory series. They're gonna need to make a list of all their partners, there are so many options to choose from. >>_>>

I'll admit I never played any of those games so I skimmed through the harvest moon wiki and chose one of the bachelors and chose some other game characters lol. Plus a game for all of you, guess the characters.

Though I do think that the reader having children before causes a bit of whiplash because it's totally unexpected, mostly because there were no records of you taking spouses or kids, even knowing you ‘have’ (play) other worlds is a surprise that causes a bit of a crisis. Either way here are some head cannons.

“I must admit, your grace is awfully attached to Qiqi” Zhongli hums as he blows on his white tea, a small cloud of steam leaving.

Qiqi doesn't pay him much mind, her head coddled under your chin like a little puppy, between her hands there is a small bird plushie “Well, I must admit she does kind of remind me of one of my little ones” Your hand softly pats her head, a few strands of hair moving as you do.

He stills as you spoke, eyes fixated on his cup “your… little ones?”

“Mhm?” Without looking up from the braid you were giving to the little girl you just nod “yep, she is quite soft spoken like Milenoe”

“... I wasn't aware your grace had sired children” there was never any mentions about holy spawns or spouses taken by you in any manuscript he got his hands on.

“Well, I never chose a couple from this world, so there wouldn't be any descendants” the comment slips airly from your lips as Qiqi slides off your lap towards baizhu who had finished checking the books from your bookshelf. “Do you want to see her? She started elementary school a few weeks ago” without waiting for an answer a screen appears displaying a tall man with black hair and horns standing regally behind you and a child with emerald eyes and horns.

“She looks rather shy”

You hum nodding “she is as shy as her father when he was her age. There aren't many children her age she can play with so she was pretty lonely her first 50 years”

“50 years?”

“her dad is a slow maturing species” so it should be 10 times the life expectancy than humans. Not that long for him but certainly longer than usual.

•°•°•

“It's a wonder to see how you manage to get Klee to change her mind about going fish blasting,” albedo scribbles some data half mindedly as he watches you hover next to Klee, who showed you a new drawings every few minutes “she is so stubborn even with Alice”

“Well I do have experience with headstrong children, Pardine is as focused on her goal as her father” one of your hands fall on her blonde hair, bright but still darker than Pardine’s almost champagne blonde and her red eyes polar opposite to her icy ones, a carbon copy to her dad. Even if your genetics rarely showed up on any of your kids it was uncanny how similar she looked to her dad and aunts “but I will admit she does annoy many guards asking to train her”

Albedo just laughs it off, listing the few loose characteristics of one of her spouses. Venti has been annoying him about his nation almost getting no information so he hopes a few spare tidbits and Klee’s rough drawing of a blond blue eyed man with a big shield works for whatever weird thing the archons have going on.

•°•°•

“Your Grace has married before?!” Ayaka gasps as you take a stroll around the nature surrounding her home. Her hand had swiftly unfolded her fan in front of her face.

“Mhm, I don't know why people get so surprised, after all it would be weirder if I spent so much time somewhere but took no lovers” you laugh at her slightly seeing her slightly flustered “it's almost a tradition at this point, to wed someone from each world. Want to see some family portraits?” She nods fervently looking at the tablet like thing that appeared on your hands, first a white haired cowboy like man is kneeling on the ground holding a baby by the armpits surrounded by three wolves ,seemingly playing with an older child, by the time the next imagine passes Ayaka is almost hanging by your shoulder, asking things about the siblings and begging to see more photos of your babies.

“And who did you take from teyvat?” Ayaka looks up sweetly at you, she has always held you in high regard and now that you are in Inazuma she can't help but get giddy thinking about how you decided to spend the stay in her state and most of your time with her.

Feigning surprise you tap your chin with your index finger “now that I think about it I didn't choose anyone yet... maybe it's about time”

“Then that means you could pick my brother!” She wraps her hand around your own, smiling as if she got the best idea ever “I could even call you older sibling!... If you wanted so of course”

“Big brother you remember how you told me you would find me a proper bachelor”

“If this is about wanting me to rush it won't work”

“It's not about it, I found you someone”

“Fine, as you please, need I remind you my standards are quite high”

“It's their grace!... Why are you choking on your tea!?”

•°•°•

“There isn't one damned coincidence…” Raiden slaps her head against the table with the rough drawings and some information about them “a king, a captain, a cowboy, a damned sorcerer…”

“Maybe there isn't supposed to be a coincidence” Nahida guesses “maybe they just look for someone who catches their eye”

“It doesn't help out as much as you think it does” the tsaritsa crosses her legs and leans against the back of the chair “if we are doing people with very clear characteristics maybe Ajax could fit nicely? Redheads aren't very common”

“Mhm, maybe but don't they have a liking for smart men? Then Alhaitham would be closer to their past couples”

“Well if we are going by that logic they should like the geo archon, as one of them has dragonic features” the tsaritsa side eyes Zhongli from the other side of the table.

Sighing deeply Furina, who came in place of Neuvillette, chimes in “It is their decision who they want to marry and even if they wanted to!”

"obviously you would be so calm, after all they are very close with your iudex. Don't get so cocky, I heard the commissioner Ayato is interested in the idea"

[st-osmanthus]

(I’m allowing myself one rant for every 1,000 words I write. It’s partly self-motivation, but mainly it’s a preventative measure against how annoying my ZoLu brainworm is becoming.)

It is terrifying that I’ve been shipping ZoLu longer than some of y’all have been alive. I don’t recall how I got so old.

But I am glad for the chance to experience One Piece and ZoLu slowly through the years and view them from different stages of my own life. Because when I was a young adult, they were just silly boys who got along and matched each other’s crazy. Then I grew up, got married, and realized Zoro and Luffy’s CANONICAL relationship is actually one that I want to have with my own spouse. Allow me to rant explain:

Loyalty is, of course, probably the number one aspect of their relationship that all fans can agree on. Trust is possibly a second. You can’t have a long-lasting relationship of any type without either. Sure, they take it an extra EXTRA mile with all the almost-dying and you-and-me-versus-the-world shit, but the general point stands.

If you dive deeper, they’re also best friends. They enjoy the same crazy adventures, know when to let loose, share the same values, tease each other (without malice), support each other in their goals, and watch each other’s back. Their personalities might be different, but their friendship is SOLID.

Then you dive even DEEPER, and you realize they’re also PARTNERS. When one of them faces a tough challenge, the other will step in and help shoulder the burden (Duel with Mihawk; Usopp’s departure; and yes, it did in fact drive me insane when Luffy took a nap while fighting Kaido because Zoro was there to buy him time.) When Zoro wants to pursue something, Luffy fights for his freedom to go after it (duel with T-Bone). When Luffy needs a sanity check, Zoro is there to provide it, and Luffy ACTUALLY LISTENS! (Punk Hazard, you’ll always be famous.)

It sometimes baffles my mind how non-problematic Zoro and Luffy’s marriage relationship is. Although as Sanji points out in a recent chapter, Zoro does enable Luffy too much and that might not be great for their health, but hey, he just wants to spoil his captain with fun adventures, okay?!?

I guess the point of today’s rant is: if you’re gonna get hitched for life, I hope your relationship is as solid as the one between Luffy and Zoro.

[I really want to rant about the role of jealousy in ZoLu. Gotta write another 1,000 words! I’m pumped!]

[imagionationstation]

Hi! I read your TMNT 2012 separated au that you made with ellestrade and it really gave me brainworms so I wrote a small one-shot for it! The characters kinda ended up writing themselves haha.

anyways, wanted to share it with you and also make sure that you're okay with it. Not sure how you feel about other people taking inspiration from you ideas, so if you would like me to take it down, just let me know!

Thanks for sharing such fun ideas. Here's the post (I've also tagged you in it but sometimes tags are weird and don't always show. Also its on my fandom specific sideblog, but I am the same person haha)

Gotta love those brain worms! (Ironic statement from a 2012 viewpoint, actually-) HOLY CHALUPA, BRAIN WORMS IN THIS AU UNIVERSE, WAIT WAIT ACTUALLY WAIT-

*background rambles and spazzing*

Okay, I’m back.

I’m always a-okay with whatever fan things anyone wants to create with inspiration from something I made or helped make. As long as it isn’t containing some stamp that says “this I deem canon” when neither me (nor my partner) deemed it canon, no one ever has to worry with me getting upset over some story/comic/art.

I’m going to give some thoughts and I want to disclaimer.

When I discuss my thoughts on your POV of events in the AU, I will never, in any way, intend to diss or attack the story. I think the flow was excellent and Raph’s analysis of the events occurring was intriguing. I loved it! And nothing I say will be a statement otherwise.

But, since I have a distinct inability to keep my mouth shut when it comes to turtles and you asked, I have thoughts 🧐

My brain is now turning and ya’ll have to deal.

Characterization:

Donnie: Much distrust. Much sass. A strong sense of duty to defend his brethren turtles who don’t deserve it but he’s doing it anyway.

Very on point. Much approval 👌

Mikey: Could not be more perfect. I love him. Sweet soul ✨

Leo: He’s a bit less… Forceful. Cold and calculating. Than I envision.

I’d imagine that he had to learn to shut feelings down in order to survive. Fidgeting/smiling/visibly hesitating is out of the question. Staying in Shredder’s graces meant learning to play the game. His silence is what earns Raph the ability to be loud. The only times that he’s himself is when him and Raph are alone, outside of the sight of cameras, or when someone in is danger and fear/fury overwhelms all else. He seems bland to outsiders and it takes the Hamato brothers a while to see that that he’s just a scared little boi at heart that’s just trying his best in a cruel world.

He’s also set in his beliefs, so he’s going to assume that they’re being tormented mentally, if not physically. There’s no place in his mind that wonders if they were actually safer elsewhere.

I do like your POV, though. Plenty for me to play with.

Raph:

He’s ABSOLUTELY the first to question the differences between how Shredder treats them and how Splinter treats their brothers. He doesn’t jump the gun, but as devoted as he is, he’s never really liked Shredder. I love the implications that he’s been filing away concerns subconsciously and his brain keeps poking him like “HELLO?!”

He’s very deep. I can’t decide how I feel about that 🤔

Shredder would have wanted to fan that temper into something unforgiving and vile. Or course, that doesn’t mean he stops being a sensitive soul. It could… Have something to do with Shredder manipulating him into being angry when he wills it (basically all the time) and solemn and still when he doesn’t (such as during lectures, punishments, etc).

His brain registers this situation as one where he’s not meant to be loud and angry, and so he’s kinda… Shut down. Sassy, but mellow. Processing. Adapting. Letting what happens happen because he’s not meant to stop it.

It’s a reason that Leo gets so defensive when punishments come into play. It forces Raph to feel small. It make him vulnerable.

HOLY MOTHER OF MUTATIONS- I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS NEW TAKE ON THE AU @ellestrade TELL ME IF I’M ONTO SOMETHING

Anyway, commentary:

“in one of Takeō's strategy books he couldn't care less about”

It’s like Space Heroes. He claims so and YET he read, recalls, AND clearly has DEBATED the passage so I call sus vibes.

I get giddy when I think of Takeō discovering Space Heroes-

“Junkō and Kōta— or Donnie and Mikey, whatever false name they’d been given—”

My brain made connections. I don’t know if it was intended, but I always believe that they knew them by Shredder’s names through the beginning of season one, end of season one/beginning of season two they were associating them as both, and then by the time that the City is under attack, they’ve adapted to using their real names. (But the Saki brothers still keep their Foot names.)

So, now I assume this is somewhere in that middle plot.

Fun little Easter egg~

“Takeō and Akihitō were the offense, and Donnie and Mikey were the defense” “They held their own. In fact, they dominated.”

I’m in love with Raph’s simple acknowledgment of their roles in battle. It’s a very practical outline of exactly how their dynamic on the field plays out and he's so certain of his place.

On the other hand, I’m a bit uncertain about whether they’d dominate. I do believe that they are trained and can hold their own, but I don’t know about them being as impressive as Raph&Leo, simply because Splinter trained them to defend and Shredder trained them to kill. The Hamato brothers haven’t had much time to practice in the offensive, especially since that’s Leo&Raph’s job. (In non-AU canon, they are all offensive/defensive.)

I think Mikey might learn that kinda strength at the farmhouse after being taught by Leo&Raph, and Donnie will step back from that, finally finding his place not as a fighter/leader, but as a scientist.

Definitely an interesting take, tho 🤔

“Only now does he think that, perhaps, there was a reason their master made their primary weapons blunts and not blades.”

I am chewing on this line so hard. It’s so powerful.

I can’t even tell you why. It just is.

“Akihitō knows that Takeō isn’t lying. He’d already tried to take tonight's blame all on his own shoulders, spare Akihitō of the punishment. But Akihitō knows all his tricks and he won’t let his brother suffer alone. Again.”

100% behind Raph learning to butt in when Leo tries to take the fall as they get older and punishments get worse.

“Seeing the situation, the evidence glaring at him, Akihitō cannot deny that this wasn’t exactly a great sell. Takeō and him are tied to the ground, trying to convince these two strangers that they would be safe with them. That their clan would not hurt them while that same clan was just about ready to beat them to a pulp.”

I was thinking the same thing 🤣

Leo, dude, seriously. Look around. Think for a second. You are not selling your point. You are doing the opposite.

In the end, it doesn’t even matter. Sensei will always find them no matter where they run. It was better to follow than be chased.

SOMEONE NEEDS TO TEACH THESE KIDS THAT THIS IS A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP. YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL MOTIVATED TO STAY WITH DAD BECAUSE HE WILL FORCED YOU TO REMAIN OTHERWISE. BRUH. RED FLAG.

These were Foot Ninja binds made specifically to hold them. Mutant strength and all.

It makes sense that Shredder would make these. But.

But man. He made those. For them.

Takeō tries to take control of the situation again, the bossy oldest sibling coming out in him.

HA. Got him. Leo is Leo in any universe.

“His name is Mikey.” Donnie glares. “The rat is lying and he has—” “Donnie, its fine.”

Absolutely how they view things. Mikey doesn’t care what they think or do as long as no one he cares about is paying the price. Donnie feels it is a manner of principle that they accept logic and truth.

Leo talking over both of them is valid. This kid, I swear.

“Then tell your older brother to shut up about—”

LEO IS IT OFFICIAL YOU HAVE BEEN DISOWNED

“Sounds like a you-problem.” Donnie stands. “Mikey, we saved them. It's time to go.”

Donnie would die for them <3

A hand lands on his shoulder, and he recognizes it. Takeō always knows when to give support. He’s a good brother. He hopes Donnie and Mikey will know that one day too.

OH. OKAY. WELL. 🥺

THOSE FEELS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE-

He loved his big bro sm hjkhkjhkjhjkkjhkjhkjhku

If Akihitō didn’t know any better, he’d say it was longing.

Oh, don’t worry, he is dying to have other people in his life who genuinely care for him, but as long as you guys are with the enemy, you’re a threat to his baby brother and daddy and not to be trusted

And, just maybe, it could be their world too. 

Oh, so that’s what pain feels like. Glad to be reminded.

[knightobreath]

Why do you like showvember so much? (not/neg)

alright folks youre going to need to remove your cringe and irony-poisoned glasses for this one, i'm going to be genuine

This is a question I've been asking myself for a while! Sometimes things just make my brain really really happy and I can never tell why, but I've done enough research on myself to know SEVERAL reasons why Showvember specifically appeals to me.

Of course there's the more normal stuff that it shares with a lot of my other fandom-able interests. It's funny! I find it very entertaining! I like Popcorn's character!

And then. There's the part that puts it apart from the other stuff I like. If you aren't familiar with Showvember, it was made in a way comparable to the drawing game exquisite corpse. Each episode is made by one person with as little information about the other episodes as possible. They only have character designs/names/pronouns and elimination order to work with.

I think the key factor to why I'm obsessed with it to this degree is it's inconsistency! You'd think this would make it harder to engage in fandom, but I love the challenge! My favorite type of fanwork to create is just filling in plot holes and connecting dots to expand or explain canon. Headcanons! I like the world-building and logistics side of headcanoning over characters though. Showvember is a lot of work to be a fan for, but it's not a chore to me, more like a challenge. This was a large part of my enjoyment of MCYT and probably the big reason why i stuck around that fandom so damn long.

There's also this part of Showvember that really lends to it a lot of charm, and that's its messiness! It's an art game played by a group of friends and that shows! You can really see the strings and I like that in works. Being able to sort of see through a creation makes it more meaningful to me. I put this in a lot of my own works, I think it can be important to see the brushstrokes.

If you didn't properly remove the cringe and irony-poisoned glasses that I asked you to, you may be laughing at how I've referred to Showvember as a "work" and "meaningful." You may be confused that I'm treating it like a proper art piece and not just a silly joke. And that's because it is! it is an art piece with meaning, even if that meaning is not some grand theme or statement! I love these sorts of things. My greatest interest is in internet and specifically fandom culture, and one of the most infuriating things I come across is the discrediting and disrespect towards internet art and fanworks. And so I will treat these things with the respect and genuine care that they deserve as legitimate art. I will die on this hill and I will die on it next to shitposts and fanfics and silly YouTube shows that are basically one big joke.

So, in conclusion, Showvember is a show that I not only find entertaining but also manages to lend itself perfectly to my preferred type of fanwork. It is also a show that comes from a culture I am very passionate about. All of this intersects into a piece of media that I find very enjoyable to engage with both in and outside of fandom.

It kind of feels like when I was younger and I would fish out all the stranger pieces from the lego bin to make something with all of them. I love all the parts and where they came from, and would like to puzzle them all together into something just as fun. My Showvember fanworks are just as much an expression of my love for the show as they are for the OSC, for fandom, for the internet, and for silly art everywhere.

okay. we can go back to joking around now. the real reason is because i have brainworms that make me look at 50 popcorn showvember pics a day.or i die

[captainjamster]

I couldn't get your inclusivity post out of my head, I've been churning that thought in my little brain for hoursss now.

aromanticism is something that's definitely underrepresented.

and nobody can tell me that Kate Laswell or Simon Riley wouldn't be down for a true fwb situation. like come on.

That is such a fantastic shout, you are SO right Berry omfg!! Gosh, if asexuality is underrepresented, I don't even know how to describe aromanticism. My best friend and another close friend are aroace to varying degrees, and I've heard their first-hand accounts of how challenging it can be to understand what they're experiencing with the lack of awareness - especially because you need to know the terms to actually research them further!

Thank you so much for your ask, ahhhhh!! I'm so glad my little brainworm has infected someone else, I've been thinking about this shit for years! It started when I was much younger and unhappy with every damn fanfiction writing the reader as a petite, pretty little thing. And then I thought damn dude, if it's hard for me to find content that validates and represents my fat ass, imagine what it's like for individuals even further outside of conventional norms.

Now, how I think Simon and Kate would react to an aromantic!reader FWB under the cut ;)

Simon? Oh, I think Simon would go so hard for that. Maybe he'd be a little hesitant in the beginning, mistrusting that your confession of aromanticism is a cover to ease him into being vulnerable around you - maybe hoping that once you slept together enough, he'd fall in love with you.

It's not like he thinks people need to love each other to have sex, or that he doesn't believe in aromanticism - it's because as an emotionally reserved man, he's found himself in the position of unexpected (and unwanted) romantic complications with his FWBs too many times for his liking. Some of them end up wanting more than just sex, others get mad when he's not available during deployments, and a couple go so far as to be angry when he sleeps with another FWB.

Once he realises you're truthfully not here to tie him down, you just want to have a good time mutually relieving sexual needs, I think it becomes his favourite FWB situation. It helps that he genuinely likes you as a person, too. For a while during the beginning, he treated you like an on-call service - you came when he requested and he let you out when you were done. He didn't even want you to stick around and chat, minimising any contact that he sees as a potential romantic chance for you.

Yet true to your word, you never share any indication of wanting something more, something romantic with him. You never fought to stay longer, never begged him for more aftercare than he was comfortable providing, never tried to pull his mask off or kiss him. Each time, you thank him for his company with a warm smile and wish him well on his next deployment, if you don't catch him before he leaves. Sometimes on your way over, you'll bring a container of leftovers (or two, or three, as he becomes more comfortable), and when he initially refuses them in suspicion, you just tell him that it's a thank you for offering up his house every time. Although later on, you confess it's also because one time after a long session of post-deployment activities, you opened his fridge for cold water and found it empty, and you didn't want the poor man starving during sex.

Slowly and surely, you defrost the stand-offish, icy and unattractive front he puts up to deter people. He becomes more interested in experimenting during sex with you, even letting go of his instinctual need for control if you ask to take charge. The F of FWB begins to seep into the relationship, and not only does he take interest in you as a person, he begins to share bits of himself. You bond over the frustration of navigating a world where romance is so highly valued, and how taboo it seems to desire a life without the constraints of what society expects. Sharing the unfortunate mishaps of your FWBs is something he particularly enjoys - Simon thought he had it bad until he learnt someone proposed to you after sex, thinking THAT was the thing 'secretly' keeping you back from loving them.

It isn't until maybe over a year, sweaty and pleasantly sore as he watches your head rise and fall against his chest with each breath he takes, that Simon realises he can't quite remember the last time he slept with anyone else. Not only that, but he doesn't really want to sleep with anyone else, either. It's not because he's in love with you - even if he was, he'd never make it your problem. He's just never felt so understood by someone else, let alone a FWB. All he wants is to maintain your friendship (and the benefits it brings) until the relationship runs its course.

----

Now, bringing up KATE? Berry, you're after my own heart, I love that woman to the ends of the earth and you are SO right.

Before Kate meets her wife, you can IMAGINE how stressed that lady is. Her life is work, work, work. As she was climbing the CIA ranks, it's said that Kate desired a female mentor to show her the ropes of retaining her personal life while maintaining respect for her operational judgment, but never found one. I imagine she paved her own road, learnt what works for her (because obviously she meets her wife <3), but she ended up sacrificing a significant amount of her romantic/sexual life.

It's not for a lack of trying, either. Though she certainly tables the idea of romance, she's open to (and sometimes looks explicitly for) FWB arrangements. The problem for Kate is that she wants a long-term situation without it devolving into romance, and unfortunately, all the people she sleeps with end up wanting more. I mean, I'm not blaming them - if it's something open to you, how could you NOT fall in love with her, especially after you've experienced what it's like being the centre of her affection and attention? But for Laswell, it's the biggest thorn in her side. It leaves her frustrated, both sexually and generally - another issue on her plate that she really just doesn't have time for.

When she meets you during another late night drinking, she thinks that it's too good to be true. She's slumped over a bar, nursing a beverage as she watches the soccer football playing in grainy quality behind the bartender, when you take a seat next to her. Unbeknownst to you, she's at her limit with just about everything. Work sucks particularly right now, her last FWB fell through because she refused to let them stay the night, and she's given up on finding another one. She ignores your presence at first, uninterested in entertaining strangers. It doesn't deter you - you don't even disrupt her game to introduce yourself, just order a drink and sit back, entertaining yourself.

By half-time, she can't deny that she's curious – you’ve sat patiently for almost the whole first two quarters, enjoying Kate’s unreturned company as the occasional customer comes or goes. When the bartender slides another drink over to Kate, she takes it with a nod and jerks her head at you, and a drink is slid your way too. The surprise on your face is endearing as you look up, giving her a friendly smile and a thanks. When Kate asks why you’ve been so generous with your company, you just shrug, telling her that she seemed like she could use a friend.

She can’t tell if it’s the alcohol or her frustrations driving her to impulsion, but she takes the bait, falling into a friendly conversation with you that she enjoys far more than expected. It turns out that unlike Kate, you don’t often frequent bars this late, but a hook-up went sour kicked you out and you didn’t quite feel like going home yet. She can’t help but complain about her own struggles in turn, and you quickly bond over unreliable FWBs, the pressures of work, and how hard it is to destress. Time peaks into the early morning hours, football long finished as it’s replaced by the early bird news, and Kate can’t spend any more time away from base so she leaves you with a number to a burner.

Only a week or two passes when you off-handedly mention your aromanticism, and Kate is flooded with ideas that feel selfish, but won’t stop nagging at the back of her mind. If anything, Kate is an opportunist, and she knows a good deal when she sees one. It takes another week, but she finally propositions you – you scratch my itch, I’ll scratch yours. She’s so relieved when you agree, being up front about the conditions of your FWBs, but hesitant to admit it’s the lack of romantic reception that makes the idea so appealing. She hates how your sexuality sounds so convenient for her, but when you tell her that the situation she’s in is equally convenient for you, the guilt lessens a bit.

Unlike Simon, the F comes first in FWB for Kate. She’s emotionally mature, unafraid to vocalise her needs and boundaries and develop a platonic connection with you, nonplussed by the vulnerability that’s inherent to those actions. Sex with her is nothing short of amazing, and it quickly becomes something Kate values sincerely. I’d go as far as to say she falls into a similar place that Simon does, finding herself so content in what the situation can offer her that she doesn’t seek out anyone but you until she meets and falls in love with her wife.

[jamiesfootball]

Please please please say more about send help

send help: man who believes in rom-communism just found out he's aromantic

A while ago I sent this brainworm about an aromantic Ted story idea to @altschmerzes (because who better to share aromantic headcanons with?) except now the brainworm has eaten into my brain and what has happened is-

Mom City Alternate Ending

Roy and Keeley show up literally seconds earlier than they did in canon and end up witnessing through the treatment room window the moment Jamie sends the text to his dad. And since there is a difference between 'I will pretend things are fine' and 'I will lie to the people in front of me', Jamie fails to shrug them off and admits to him what Ted told him on the field.

Roy and Keeley? Not happy. United front in the Taking Care Of Jamie Tartt Brigade. They take him home. Talk him through it.

Then they talk about other stuff, the three of them.

Then they end up in a qpr.

Jamie, come the following week, is practically floating on air. Ted sees this and, naturally, thinks that maybe Jamie took his advice and things worked out for the better. Even makes a remark about it to the other coaches, in that off-hand Ted way of his.

Ted doesn't know what's up with Roy, who seems incapable of standing in a room with him without emitting a low-level growling, but Ted does have other stuff on his mind. He's leaving Richmond. He's saying goodbye to a lot of people, people who mean the world to him. He can hardly look at Rebecca, Trent can't stop looking at him, and Beard and him have been playing a game where whenever one of them looks over, the other looks away.

Anyways, it's very possible that this is just a Roy Kent-ish way of Roy dealing with whatever thoughts Roy has on Ted leaving.

So Roy corners Jamie at home and tells him, 'you got to talk to Ted before he leaves. Tell him he was wrong. Or instead of telling him goodbye, I'm gonna punch a hole in his face.'

Except Jamie can tell, with that Jamie laser-focused perception that's really good at football and also really good at Roy Kents, that Roy isn't just saying it because he's angry. Behind the guard-dog face is something sincere, some hurt bit that doesn't like being mad at his friend because Ted is Roy's friend, so Jamie says, "Keep your shirt on, grandad. I'll talk to him."

Unfortunately, that's the last time Jamie doesn't fail a perception check.

So he goes to talk to Ted, and under the weight of the task of telling Ted he was wrong, Jamie flounders. Because somehow in telling Ted that he was wrong, Jamie realizes he's actually going to have to say what kind of a piece of shit his dad is. Not imply it, not rely on them knowing him well enough to fill in the blanks - Ted hasn't caught any of that.

Jamie, looking for any way into the conversation that doesn't make him want to tear his skin off, ends up blurting that him, Roy and Keeley are now in a relationship together. Kind of.

No, not like Ted's thinking. But yes, he does mean together.

It's complicated.

See, there's a lot of things about being in relationships over the years that always confused him. Sometimes it was gestures, sometimes it was the way people would talk to him or talk about him or touch him, and it always left him feeling... wrong. Like there was a bit of the conversation he just wasn't keeping up with.

There's been a lot of things that he's done, things he did to keep those relationships, that he....really doesn't want to do anymore. Nothing bad, but it's like there's this person yeah? And they want to dance, and Jamie knows theoretically how to dance, but he doesn't like this dance. In fact he'd prefer if there was no dance. Sometimes the people he's dating, they want to be close to him like that, but then when he doesn't, they feel like he's pulling away. So he puts up with it because he wants to please them, but then the weight of it gets to him, and then it builds and builds until everything feels wrong, and then he doesn't want to be close to them at all, and then he feels like the world's biggest bastard, because who feels that way about someone they care about? And about- stupid things! Minor things, that don't seem like they should be important at all! Except everyone else seems to think its the most important part of a relationship, like everything else Jamie did couldn't make up for him lacking this one thing.

Lust Conquers All was a lie; turned out even that show wanted that same more out of him too - and at that point he just didn't care anymore, which is why he ain't been seen with anyone in a long time.

And to make matters even more infuriating - he can't even explain what that thing is! Just that it makes him feel like he's going to break out in hives when it happens! So yeah, he figured, he'd just stay single.

Except then there were Roy and Keeley, and they were like his favorite people in the world? So he tried to tell them the truth, as best he could put it, that it wasn't what they were offering that was wrong - it was Jamie that was wrong.

Roy and Keeley listened to him, and Keeley was super understanding and said that she'd gotten a vibe from him before that she'd never been able to put her finger on, but she'd always let it guide her on when she needed to give him space. Then Roy got the angry caterpillar look on his face and told them both to wait a moment, and he called some lady that he knew from yoga, and anyways it turned out that her son had just come out to her as aromantic, and it sounded like maybe I was struggling with that, and its been such a relief, you know? Like, there was nothing ever wrong with me, it turns out there was just this word I didn't know; and now that I know it, I can get what I want - and I can be with who I want, 'cause then no one's going into it blind, see? We can all be on the same page, and no one has to be disappointed and get their feelings hurt, and I don't have to be alone if I don't want to be alone, and.... Ted?

Ted?

Ted has a panic attack right there in the pub.

As the fic then continues, Ted has a series of revelations about himself and Jamie finds himself acting as a sort of.... accidental aromantic guru. To Ted.

Who he still hasn't told about the thing with his dad.

The fic itself is still very early-days conceptually, but it absolutely ends up with Ted being in three separate, openly spoken-about queer platonic relationships with Rebecca, Trent, and Beard before he ever ends up making it back on American soil.

I say 'openly-spoken about' because Ted and Beard are their own thing that ends up being confronted - with Ted admitting that part of the reason he never felt comfortable telling Beard he could do better than Jane was that in a way that seemed like crossing a line. Telling your friend who they could and couldn't date. There was a line, wasn't there, a status quo on which relationship you had to put first if you wanted a real commitment with someone. There was a line right?

"There's never been a line for you, Teddy."

From there it's like- what's it mean if he's always sort of known Trent is into him, and he's always been worried about leading him on, but at the same time some of his favorite nights have been when the two of them stay late at the Dog Track and they just... talk?

What's it mean when he loves Rebecca, but he's never once had the urge to wine and dine her? When he doesn't want anything to change between them, but he would like to exist in the same room as her basically every day until the end of time? Is that even fair to her?

Is that fair to any of them?

How is it fair if Ted asks for what he wants when he knows full well he can't give any of them what they want in return?

Will Ted ever even be comfortable asking for that? Asking for what he wants?

Actually, he will ask for one thing he wants- he wants Roy Kent to stop growling at him.

He doesn't know how to get that either.

[scoopertrouper]

If you’re still taking Stancy prompts, Nancy wondering what Steve is up to while they keep their distance in s3 is always my jam. Love love love your Nancy and Steve.

my first prompt fill!

i have to be honest, i don’t know if this is really what you were looking for? like, i admit there’s altogether more jonathan than probably anyone wants to see. but alas, i banged this out in like four hours last night and this is where my brainworm took me. thanks for prompting!

also, if you want to get a more exact idea of the kind of headspace i was in writing this, you’ll just want to listen to tswift’s death by a thousand cuts on one long, endless loop.

2,200-ish words under the cut.

-*-*-*

the only thing we share [is this small town]

She sees him sometimes. 

Not on purpose. Definitely not on purpose, but Hawkins has a population smaller than the enrollments of some state colleges. It’s kind of inevitable that their paths will cross more than occasionally.

And it’s not that Nancy's avoiding him, exactly. It’s more that every time she gets a glance at him even in passing, it’s impossible not to recall the sad way he’d stared down at her the last time they’d really spoken to each other, resigned to an outcome she wasn’t even sure she herself had reconciled with yet.

It doesn’t make her feel good, and after the past year, she’s more than sick of seeking out reasons to feel bad. 

So she doesn’t avoid him, but she also doesn’t not hide behind aisles in Melvald’s when she sees him pass by. And if they happen to be walking along the same side of Main Street at the same time, it just so happens that she’ll remember several urgent reasons why she needs to cross the road right away.

But that’s not avoiding. It can’t be, because Nancy doesn’t avoid. She barrels, head on, right into even the most fraught situations, because at the end of the day she has nothing without her resolute confidence in the fact that she is right.

She is right, and nothing – not Department of Energy hacks, nor the assholes at the Hawkins Post who make a sport of changing up their sandwich orders and the way they take their coffee every other day (“See if you can solve this, Nancy Drew…”) – can shake that certainty.

(Except sometimes – sometimes/especially when she sees Steve – a creeping sense of wrong begins to slither its way in, wraps icy tendrils of doubt around her carefully guarded resolve and squeezes. Hard.

But before it can do too much damage, before it can cause the kinds of hairline fissures that turn into cracks that end in endless interdimensional bloodshed, she turns away. Takes Jonathan’s hand, and looks into his eyes, and remembers why they’re the only two people in the world who could possibly get each other. Even when she can’t understand why he hovers in uncomfortable silence while those dickheads laugh at her. Even when he doesn’t get why she just can’t stop pushing, because a job’s a job and maybe if she let up a little they wouldn’t laugh at her so much.

None of that matters, because she and Jonathan…they just make sense. The photographer and the journalist. Shared goals. Shared trauma. Right? Right. 

And so the ground steadies beneath her feet, and her breathing eases, and she sinks back into the safe surety of her belief.)

Most of the time, not-avoiding-Steve also facilitates not-thinking-about-Steve, which is easier now that he hasn’t been around town much lately. She’d heard via the grapevine – amid some derisive tittering that had irked her for reasons she preferred not to examine – that he’d gotten a job at the ice cream parlor at Starcourt, and that he wasn’t headed to college after the summer was over, because he didn’t get into a single school, can you believe it?

The guilt was suffocating. She puts it out of her mind.

So it’s a blessing in disguise that Jonathan’s aversion to crowds and hypercommercialism means that Nancy hasn’t spent as much time at Starcourt as she’d planned to once she heard they were putting in a Gap. Because less time at Starcourt meant less time not-avoiding Steve (and less time – and money – spent stress shopping).

In fact, Nancy’s been lured into such a false sense of security that she never sees the stupid commercial coming.

It’s evening, and still boiling outside, and she and Jonathan are languishing on his beat-up couch after a long day spent toiling in the darkroom (him) and chasing down a specific kind of pastrami on rye with grain mustard available only from the sole deli in Hawkins, which just happens to be about as far across town as you can get on foot (her, of course).

Nancy is the kind of mentally exhausted that means that while she’s valiantly trying to pay attention to CBS Evening News (she likes to flip back and forth between all the major network shows), she’s actually staring off into space as Dan Rather covers a TWA flight hijacking that she knows she should care more about.

The jingle of the commercial doesn’t even penetrate the fog until Jonathan scoffs.

“Christ,” he mumbles. “They’re still playing this shit on TV?”

“Huh?” Nancy grunts before she can stop herself, rousing from her stupor. (It’s only now that she realizes she’s been doodling daisies where she usually takes careful notes on each story’s lead-in.)

“The Starcourt commercial,” Jonathan says, nudging her with his shoulder. “It’s been open for, like, a month. When’re they gonna give it a rest?” 

“Oh.” Nancy gets with the program, and laughs perfunctorily at the cheesy stock footage that’s eaten more airtime over the past six months than she’d ever thought city council would have the budget for. (Huh. Maybe there’s a story there.) “I kind of forgot about it.”

“Maybe…we could check it out soon,” Jonathan says, eyeing her almost cautiously. “See if it’s as awful as it looks.”

Nancy does a double-take before she can stop herself.

“You said it’d take a literal alien invasion to get you to set foot inside that mall.” And with the bizarro turn their lives have taken over the past year, she can’t be entirely certain he’d been joking.

Jonathan shifts, and scratches the back of his head.

“Well – they do have a bookstore,” he says, defensive. “And, like, I know this internship hasn’t been what you were hoping, so it might be nice to –” His jaw drops before he can finish the thought. “Holy shit, is that Steve Harrington?”

Nancy’s head whips around so fast she almost hears a crack. And yeah, that is Steve Harrington. In vivid technicolor, standing behind a cash register next to a vaguely familiar-looking redhead with a tousled bob – Nancy’s pretty sure she’s seen her around school before.

She recognizes the discomfort in his face all too well – it had stared across the table at her every time she’d tried to quiz him on SAT vocabulary words last summer. 

Only then, he hadn’t been wearing a hideous polyester sailor costume.

“That’s new,” Jonathan says, the ill-disguised laughter in his voice so uncharacteristic that Nancy’s head whips back around again. She’s going to need a chiropractor by the time this commercial ends. “I guess we definitely gotta check out Starcourt now.”

She rolls her eyes, and relaxes the fist she’d clenched around her pencil during the seven seconds – max – that Steve had been on screen. Jonathan doesn’t seem to have noticed her tension, and she’s grateful.

“What’s so interesting about watching Steve scoop overpriced ice cream?” she deflects skeptically, sinking further into the couch, wincing as she hits a spring. Now Jonathan’s the one who double-takes.

“Um. Nancy. It’s King Steve.” She doesn’t love the way he says that. “Dressed like a stand-in for The Village People. Slinging banana splits. What isn’t interesting about that?”

“It’s just a job,” Nancy retorts, face heating. “D’you think it’s funny that I run around buying lunch and pouring coffee for a bunch of dipshits who wouldn’t know a good above-the-fold if it hit them with a two-by-four?”

“Of course not, Jesus!” Jonathan sputters helplessly, shoulders hiking up to his ears. “I just meant – I didn’t – of course I don’t think that’s funny.” His mouth flattens. “I think it’s really shitty. You’re right, I shouldn’t make fun of anyone’s job. We don’t have to go to Starcourt. I just thought it’d be something we could do together.”

He looks deflated, and all at once, Nancy feels like shit. Jonathan was so serious all the time, and usually she liked when he let that go a little bit and dropped his guard. But she’s ruined it by getting defensive, and she doesn't even totally understand why.

“No, I’m sorry,” she backtracks, grabbing his hand and linking their fingers. It’s warm, as familiar as her own at this point. “It’s just…been a shit day. I overreacted.” She just has to work harder. Make them see how serious she is about this. Make them see how good she is at this.

All at once, she’s acutely ashamed of how lax and distracted she’s been, scrawling stupid pictures all over her notepad when she should be working. Improving her craft. Showing everyone that she belongs in that newsroom. Showing them that she’s right.

In return, Jonathan’s smile is strained, but it seems genuine enough. He squeezes her hand, with a strength that still surprises her sometimes.

“Things’ll get better. You’ll see. You’re brilliant. They’ll figure it out. Eventually.” He ducks his head, then looks up again, a little more relaxed. “Speaking of ice cream…I think Mom brought some Rocky Road home last night. Two spoons?”

Nancy nods, accepting the peace offering for what it is (even though she prefers strawberry).

“Yeah…that sounds good.” He leaves to clatter around in the kitchen, and she turns back to the TV, suppressing the urge to chew on the end of her pencil (what serious journalist walks around with bit-up erasers?).

Against her will, Steve’s face plays on a rewind loop in her mind’s eye.

Maybe it was just her imagination, but he’d looked miserable, and she was pretty sure it wasn’t stage fright (he used to preen whenever the yearbook photographers were in his general vicinity. It was equal parts endearing and annoying).

Had he really not gotten into any colleges? (None of her business.) His dad probably hadn’t taken that well. (Really none of her business.) 

She should’ve tried to help him more, after the whole…incident. He’d been insanely concussed, and that couldn’t have helped with the whole college essays and applications thing. He’d already been having a hard enough time with it all.

But what could she have done? The thing with Jonathan had been so new, and every time she chanced a look at Steve, he was already staring back, hurt scrawled plainly all over his face.

It would be better now, though, right? A lot of time has passed. She’s firmly settled into her new relationship, and Steve is – Steve knows how to rebound. He’s always been good at that, on the court and in life.

Maybe she should go visit him. Not – not to laugh at him, but just to see how he’s doing.

Would that girl be there? The coworker? She’s cute, in a “probably listens to too much Depeche Mode” kind of way. So not Steve’s type. (Nancy, why would that matter?) 

But they had been standing kind of close in the commercial. Maybe they’re friends?

Nancy snorts. Steve didn’t have female friends, except for maybe Carol, and that was mostly vis a vis that shit-for-brains Tommy. In fact, after he cut the two of them out, Steve didn’t seem to have many real friends. Or any. At all. He’d focused all his attentions on Nancy.

She swallows past the tightness in her throat. Anyway. This girl. Definitely – definitely not a friend. Maybe a friendly coworker. Or…

Nancy glares at the whites of her knuckles. None of her business. 

It really isn’t. After all, she has Jonathan, and Steve has, well…whoever he wants, really. That’s never been an issue for him, not even after he’d been officially “dethroned”. Girls still lined up at his locker for crumbs of his attention, right smack dab where Nancy used to wait for him in between classes. She assumes that in that regard, not much has changed besides the venue.

In fact, she can see it pretty clearly: Steve, raking a hand through his thick hair every time a pretty girl happens to make her way into Scoops Ahoy. Drumming deft fingers against the glass of the freezer. Handing out free scoops of ice cream like they’re not gonna eventually come out of his check.

Suggesting that they stick around until he’s off-shift so they can catch a movie or – or – something else.

The pencil snaps. Startled, she stares down at her hand, where the two jagged pieces haphazardly dangle, connected by little more than a few bare slivers of wood. What the fuck?

She’s got pretty much no time to figure out what the hell just happened, though, because Jonathan picks that moment to come back into the living room, a carton with two spoons balanced in his grip.

“Sorry that took a sec,” he apologizes, and  Nancy shoves the pencil’s remains in between the couch cushions before he can notice. “Will left eggs in the pan again, and I told him he’s gotta wash them out, like, right away or it’s a pain in the ass to scrub them off later –”

“It’s okay,” Nancy cuts in, unsettled by the stinging in her palm as he flops back down beside her. Despite the heat, he curls an arm around her shoulders. It’s light, and wiry, and she tells herself she prefers it that way.

“Dan’s kind of boring tonight,” Jonathan tuts, leaning back. “Wanna see what Tom’s up to?”

Nancy nods, curling into his side and scooping a spoonful of ice cream out of the container crammed between them. It’s creamy, and deliciously sweet on her tongue.

It’s just right.

(It has to be.)

[lil-vibes]

i would die if you wrote anything expanding on that post about chuuya being taken over by baki and just floating all over the place and speaking with an echo until he gets to dazai at the ADA office - that was a great idea, very cool

yooo thanks man !!!

here you go, a little more brainworms regarding that au!

• when Baki wakes up in a back alleyway and tries to stand up they overdo it and snap Chuuya's spine in the process. they try to walk and all of a sudden they are on the ground with mild pains from the vessel' legs. they aren't sure how a human body works, so for now they decide to just float.

• Baki, in my hc, is very curious for just about everything because it's quite rare that they 'view' the world through a humans' eyes

• piggybacking off of that, i think that they'd have trouble expressing their thoughts in the beggining (speaking in short, sometimes conflicting/unfinished sentences) because using human vocal cords without snapping them is difficult and also words have changed since the last time they were actively using them. Ranpo just chucks a dictionary at them and they absolutely ABSORB every word

• i also think that they'd want to sword fight with both Fukuzawa and Golden Demon/ Kouyou for fun

• they can make Dazai float and he just about gives up on life ( something something 'your human existence can not deny mine' yeah me thinks)

• i personally think that theyd be slightly more chill than expected, however when they get upset, or emotions generally run high, the control over the body begings to wobble. some examples of that being:

- the overlapping voices are the most common ones. they are a mass manifested through war and suffering and vengeance, thus Baki has to be extremely careful of how loud they speak because there's a great chance that someone's eardrums will explode.

- corruption markings are a damn near permanent fixture on Chuuya's skin, more so to help remind everyone that this isn't Chuuya in control right now (Dazai is constantly stressed about it, and has to consistently tell himself that it's fine), but they tend to grow and glow and move around like they are alive too, as if also taking offence that Baki is agitated. they also burn if touched directly

- people around an Agitated Baki feel like they are about to poof out of existence simply by being too close. Mori nearly dies once because Baki can see his general soul and is not pleased. it kinda feels like your blood suddenly starts running the other way, or your like heart is beating backwards and double in speed. not fun !

- sometimes birds fly into the windows. maybe the sky tints red, maybe there is ringing in the ears, static in the brain of those around them. maybe looking at Chuuya's form hurts a little, burns a little, blurs around the edges. what were his features again? what color were his eyes? his hair?

• Baki loves Chuuya and learning all about him :] ( "and his name? what is his name? we would love to know who our vessel is."

"it's Chuuya Nakahara.."

the entity thinks, hums for a bit, vibrations making the lights swim around it, then pleased, it smiles "hmm Chuuya... it suits him a lot" )

• disregarding stormbringer for a moment, when asked how exactly one traps a being like it, Baki kindly informs them that there are runes carved into every bone inside Chuuya. yes, they do mean every single one.

• also, and that's a little.... gruesome, but it's a misconception that Baki and Chuuya share only a consciousness. "it's like that most of the time, but right now what you are looking at is ... ah, let's say, our clothes. we are woven in-between his skin and bones and every blood vessel, but also we are separate. it's like a hand pupet? we are under his skin :)"

• Baki absolutely says unhinged things like its normal

• they also find it funny to tease Ranpo because they recognise just how smart of a human he is but also he's just that to them. a human

• i also have this scene when someone complains about the sun or something so Baki just,,, shifts either the Earth or the Sun a bit so that it's not shining directly at the person. everyone FREAKS abt this btw

• Baki also loves the Akutagawas and Kouyou bc Chuuya loves them :]

some skk things bc i love them:

• Baki tells Dazai, hand pressed against his heart, looking him dead in the eyes with that slightly unhinged expression "no wonder you hold onto warm things, for you have been warm once, then never again. no wonder you seek to be warm again" and Dazai just has to go through his day after that

• okay last thing off of the top of my head, but somehow they (the ada) get into the topic of worship and Baki casually drops that yes! they get prayers sometimes but nothing even begins to compare to the feeling of the worship from their most devoted person. naturally everyone wants to know who that is, and Baki tilts their head a little and then points to a Very Confused Dazai (Ranpo and Kunikida are exhanging money in the backround btw).

("but... i don't worship the hat rack?? what?"

"oh, but that can't be" they sway a little from their perch on Dazai's desk, appearing as if deep in thought. after the day, Dazai knows better. "but we can distinctly recal feeling a sort of warmth from you. say, how do you define worship? because it can be food offerings too. or thoughts about us or even just the pure, unrelenting faith that as long as you believe in us, your wish will be made into existence"

Dazai blinks at them, stunned.

"so now, has your answer changed?" )

• LAST one. Ranpo asks them if Dazai has ever nullified corruption with a kiss and Baki is like we think so? but Dazai denies that hard. Baki counters by saying that every place where 'coruption' has been nullified burns to this day. twice on left the wrist, once at the forearm. once at the right hand, once at the cheek, and once ot the lips. Dazai may or may not work harder to resolve the issue after that (he's never gonna beat the gay accusations)

(end of skk things hh)

• when it's time to surrender themselves back to Chuuyas will, Baki tells the ada + the Akutagawas and Kouyou, that when their time finally comes, when Chuuya is either one of them or dust in the wind, they will remember the kindness they have experienced. that they will live forever in the mind of a god

• Chuuya is so, so confused after waking up

[kroosluvr]

hihihi! don't know if you read these but i so frequently enjoy your art that it felt like i should say something about it, it's so so pretty and maybe i'm biased because i'm badly obsessed with the royal trio (like, constantly on my mind, building an ita bag about it types of obsessed) but when something you care so much about gets barely represented and you see somebody put so much time and effort and skill into it it's not just nice it's like feeling seen y'know? i appreciate the art you put out there so so much :3

especially when it's like, sumi centric seeing as i think she sometimes gets kind of lost or delegated to a third wheel to the other two when i think she deserves the world actually. :D i hope you are having such a good day

OH MY GODDD ANON THANK U SO MUCH!!! IM SO GLAD U ENJOY MY ROYAL TRIO STUFF!!!!! i totally totally understand you which is why im drawing so much of them lately!!!! i feel like although they're pretty "popular" (and each character is really popular on their own) their inbetween connections/dynamic is not that explored? which fueled my brainworms and im so glad i started sharing my ideas and drawing royaltrio lots more bc everyones been so kind and its been so fun for me!!!! and i keep getting so many kind messages LIKE FRM YOU and it makes me so unbelievably happy ///w///

(BTW ITABAG OMGFGGG ID LOVE TO SEE IT WHEN UR DONE?!??! anons can send in images so.. eheh.. only if u want ofc but. omg id die to have a royaltrio itabag but im very disorganized irl so i dont have Much merch bc i. i be losing shit)

and sumi centric FOR SURE!!! she's my favorite character :') ive said this before but i got into p5 for joker but i stayed for sumire............ idk smth abt her just pulls my heartstrings just right. i love her so much eeEEEE so im glad to give her some share of the spotlight that she deserves... //w// ive been a fan of p5 since 2018ish and royal since its release but.... my art wasn't all that back then so i (very frustratingly) wasnt able to draw the sumire/royaltrio/etc content that i wanted to see but.... now i have the time and the ability (SORTA!!!! still working on my art i know its also still not all that) to draw it so i will KEEP WORKING HARD EHEHHEHE

i think often sumire is outcasted from the other thieves which well. given that shes a dlc chara basically. makes sense but it also gives me a lot of room to think about her and spin some new ideas :3 double edged sword!!! but yeah YEAHYYEAH im really happy to hear that people like how i characterize her!!! i like to give her some edges and bitterness and frustration that canon didn't give her......

sorry i talk so much but genuinely your comments make me so happy to hear!!! ///w/// i will continue dishing out royaltrio content.... i mean it when i say i have so many ideas and i really dont know when ill run out............. infintie serotonin & inspiration works

edit: I HOPE UR HAVING A GOOD DAY/NIGHT TOO ANON!!! i just went out ot get coffee and pastries nad stuff so im straight up BALLING

[cregan-starks]

🍓

Vela, Vela, Vela... How do I begin to describe my appreciation and affection for you, bearing in mind that you're allergic to compliments and praise? 😌

I've been quietly following you on here for years, I remember that you didn't post a lot or too often, yet I always enjoyed seeing you on my dash. Then we became mutuals and started talking - little did I know that we would grow so close and get along so well 🥺 Honestly, that just goes to show that the most beautiful and valuable friendships are found in unlikely places 💗 You're intelligent, stunning (extremely jealous of your hair 😤), and hilarious - your whatsapp stickers never fail to crack me tf up. Watching shows and movies with you is always a highlight for me, and I really enjoy our watch-parties (even though I talk too much and sometimes derail the whole thing); I remember the Narcos: Mexico, LCDP, and House of the Dragon ones most fondly!! They gave us so many brainworms, which we passionately share every day. You're the co-founder of our Alberto Guerra simpclub and the co-expert of our Cregan/Visenya lore. Your support and encouragement mean the world to me, you're probably my #1 enabler - for good things and for evil things lmao. I immensely cherish our conversations about our favorite pairings and deluluverses, whether it's House of the Dragon, Narcos: Mexico, or the Hunger Games. I love exchanging ideas and fanart with you, as well as developing stories and plots; you're so creative and I think that we understand each other in a special way. Why else would we say the same jokes and the same words at the same time? Literally same brain cell. I appreciate that you let me vent and rant to you, that you advise me and offer words of comfort. You're a shoulder I can (virtually) cry on, and I hope I am the same to you (or else 🔫 jkjk). Obviously, I can't not mention your generosity and patience with my Spanish exercises lmaoo. And your dogs are hella cute, I would die for them 🥹 Many, many forehead kisses for you, love you and appreciate you lots!! ❣️

insert sloppy make-out sesh

[cxttlefishcxller]

𝟸𝟶 𝚀𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚆𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜

I was tagged literal days ago by @residentdormouse and honestly I'm the worst at remembering anything ever sO here we are again, lads jfkdl;safd but yE BIG THANK for the tag, let's see what kind of shenanigans I can get into

How many works do you have on AO3?

Five so far, none of them finished jfkdl;safd soon to be six, if I can get the rest of this damn chapter finished for Serenade's second iteration >.>;;;

What is your total AO3 word count?

57,252! Which is honestly more than I thought it was

What fandoms do you write for?

Man, what don't I write about? -ba dum tss- But for published works, it's primarily The Stand, with some IT thrown in, then there's Undertale, Gravity Falls, and Fallout. But I promise you if I like it, I've either written something or thought VERY HARD about writing something about it.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

This is easy, there's only 5 total fjdkla;sf but it'd have to go 1: Between Iron and Silver (an Undertale AU) at 22 2: La Petite Mort (a Fallout 3 blurb from ye olde k-meme days) at 17 3: Don't Fear The Reaper (A Gravity Falls zombie AU) at 14 4: Second Lead Serenade (My primary Stand fic that's getting a sERIOUS overhaul) at a whopping 3 5: Shine On You Crazy Diamond (an AU of my Stand AU only now there's Pennywise) at 2

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yES I try to every time! Sometimes I miss them though jfkdls;fd but I'm but a small hobbit that thrives off of validation, I adore every comment I get

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

UHM. Well, technically I haven't finished a gotdam thing yet, but it'd either have to be the Fallout one (which involves the MC slowly turning into a ghoul due to radioactive necrosis) or a pseudo-canon-maybe ficlet blurb thing I'm currently working on for Serenade involving a day in Teddy's perfect world, seemingly no-pocalypse centric, until you realize that he's not in some apartment he shares with his beloved girlfriend Piper, but trapped inside of his own mind by Flagg after being shot by Nadine.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, bold of you to assume I've got an ending on anything I write. But I'd have to say that the happiest ending I have PLANNED would actually be for Shine On. It's running along the plot of the IT remake, so the ending will have (potentially) all of our beloved Boulderites having their happily ever afters with the people they care about most.

Do you get hate on your fic?

My dear sweet anonymous reader, that would require for someone to actually read said fics. XD No for real though, everyone that's commented, friend and stranger alike, has been SO SO SWEET. I'm so grateful. No hate yet, but I'm sure I'd feel like I really made it as a writer if I ever did.

Do you write smut?

I used to! I used to write the SHIT out of some smut! But it seems like the older I get the more I worry about it being good, by whatever arbitrary unit of measurement someone may have, and then I just clam up and fade to black instead jfkd;lsafd I hope to regain my teenaged confidence someday.

Do you write crossovers?

The further I can get from canon, the better, as far as my brainworms are concerned! I only have one OFFICIAL crossover, but if y'all could see some of the bullshit I have in my giant stack of spiral notebooks, you'd probably be very concerned.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope! At least I'm not sure why anyone WOULD. I only ever get a set amount of chapters into something before I'm spontaneously updating every few years like some literary cryptid.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

Have you ever co-written a fic?

Ohhhhmygoodness the memories. Passing notebooks back and forth in between classes to work on chunks of fics. Co-authoring Google Docs in back-and-forth narrative-laden pseudo-RPs. So, SO many Picrews. If my old laptops' data banks could talk. The stories they'd tell. In short, it's been a REALLY FUCKING LONG TIME but I had such fun with it. I'd love to do it again sometime. XD

What's your all-time favorite ship?

AUGH. UHM. If we're going for something in media I enjoy, I have so so many, but if I HAD to pick one at gunpoint it'd have to be Clarice/Hannibal. From like the OG book series. My poor friend group has already had to listen to me scream about subtext and discrepancies between media, so I'll spare the spiel but they're wonderful together and I'll die on that hill.

For stuff I'VE written? Teddy and Piper. TedPipes. ScreenPlay. My babies, my lovelies, my adorable idiots that can't quit pining long enough or can't quit fighting impending disaster long enough to realize they're already practically dating. I've written so much about them. I'll probably continue writing so much about them. I can't be stopped. jfkdl;asfd

Also for stuff I HAVEN'T written but exists in fic anyway, I'd have to go with both BirdBrains (Harold Lauder and Caktus' OC Crow) and HayGlen (Glen Bateman and Mouse's OC Hayden) because like. Have y'all seen them. HAVE YOU. Go see them. They're so so good.

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

All of them wELL that's a tough one because like. I bounce between ideas so much that it's hard to tell when I'll pick up a plot or drop a plot out of rotation only to pick it back up a year or three later. But if I had to pick one, Iron and Silver hasn't been updated since shortly after the pandemic started, and I really wish I could pick up steam on it again. I had a huge plan for it, and a serious amount of worldbuilding and backstory, but I just can't pick up the knack for it again. At least, not yet. I'm sure I'll come back to it eventually.

What are your writing strengths?

I've always been fond of my character development! I can't ever tell if I execute it well in practice, but in THEORY I have a good grasp of where a character starts and where I want them to end, and a significant chunk of what they go through to get there. I love Big Emotion. I love Introspective Pain. I love the silent struggle of Being Known. It's deLICIOUS, I keep working it into everything I write fjkdsa;fd

What are your writing weaknesses?

A: Follow-through. I have the Can't Finish Stuff disease. B: MOTHERFUCKING. ACTION SCENES. I can't get the pacing right! It feels too stilted or too flat, either too much detail or not enough with no happy medium. People who can write action scenes are glorious unicorns and I'm love them

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Wayyyyyyyy not confident enough to try it. I only know some basic phrases in Spanish, and some even more rudimentary phrases in Korean, and several swear words in a small handful of other languages. Definitely not enough to work with. I'm sure I'd manage to either do it wrong or end up unintentionally being insensitive. I'm a much bigger fan of just using italics to denote if someone's using another language instead, but that's a personal choice jfkdl;sa

First fandom you wrote for?

Labyrinth! To no one's surprise ever It was a horrible monstrosity of a trope-filled nightmare written in a Family Guy notebook in pure frigging pencil. I was also in the 6th grade. I wish I had Teenage Fef's shameless ability to write whatever the fuck she wanted. She was cringe but She was Free

Favorite fic you've ever written?

So far, Serenade is the one I've put the most thought into, and the one I'm having the most fun planning! Iron and Silver cuts a CLOSE second though; for the very same reasons, but I'm loving having the added fun of such indulgent friends helping me keep the Stand Wormies alive by hyping me up. XD

I also cast OPEN TAG! It does 6d4 Writing Damage. But if y'all want to, I'm also tagging @beyondthetemples-ooc, @jaiesondurantkross and @caktusjuice-draws in a totally no-pressure-ever tag <3

[osmiumstack]

hi hailey!

what helps you stay motivated and keep drawing? i practice everyday but i wish i would improve faster and it gets frustrating sometimes lol.

your art is really wonderful and i love seeing it, thank you for sharing. i hope i can draw like you one day :3

ive been through burnout so much through doing art for school and i genuinely just do it as a hobby now. i am not studying art in college but i did a kind of intensive thing during high school where i had to narrow down what i was doing into a thesis statement. i would get burnt out during the summer because of this and it helped me determine that i didn’t want to do art as a profession.

dont get me wrong!!! it is super important to do the “boring” things to understand fundamentals, but these can come at any time. there isn’t a one size fit all approach to improvement. doing still lives and painting heavily based on observation has helped with being able to translate things onto paper, even though i really didnt like it at the time. i try to break down things into very simple shapes and build from there. some people use guide lines, it really is just about what works for you.

i think now i only draw things that are brainworms, i guess, so its enjoyable. my best advice is to keep it fun! having the drive to do it consistently is hard but keeping it fun and doing based on feel has helped me avoid burnout now. i’ve been fairly dedicated to drawing for 7+? ish years now which is actually crazy thinking about it. it comes with time!!! im still working the courage to start doing big paintings again, but i dont quite have the space to do it (physically and mentally). i do feel kind of silly just doing photostudies most of the time now, but i simply just dont have the gusto to tap into it while doing an engineering degree (save me).

if its any comfort, with all pieces ive done, not sure if its universal or not, there always is that awkward middle stage. not everything will be exact, but rolling with it is something i’ve learned and i think this has helped so much. there is beauty in imperfection and the ephemeral, and i always have been fascinated and afraid of the uncertainty of starting something. theres an awkward stage everywhere, think of it like art puberty ? im crazy. but maybe i am not.

tldr!!

keeping it fun and doing what feels good is a great way to keep the drive going, even though fundamentals are important. burnout isnt the end of the world, and the process of creating something has the potential be very personal and taxing. the most important thing for improvement imo is just keeping at it and celebrating the journey! the fact that you are chugging away at it is very lovely and i know you’re going to find your epic beautiful showstopping spectacular art swag! u probably already have it >:D

[iatrophilosophos]

Also not to be That Bitch but there's absolutely a little bit of middle ground here.

People REALLY overhype the ~professional training~ that therapists have; but we can also respect that really helpful emotional support and/or problem solving involves skillsets that aren't like, innate. We can also combine these two ideas to recognize that emotional support skills are LEARNABLE. We can analyze and identify what we want out of therapy/what seems helpful about therapy and work on figuring out how to do/get that.

For example, one of my big things is that therapy is An Hour. It's intentional time where you get the full, undivided attention of another human being to talk All About You. It's planned, both of you know it's gonna happen, you know when it's gonna happen, you know roughly what's gonna happen during it, and you both know when it's gonna END. That's HUGE. Asking for this kind of time myself or offering it to friends I'm trying to support makes a really big difference in both the quality of the time we're using to work on shit and in our general relationship; especially when compared to one person spiraling out over text while another person is like, in the middle of making dinner and trying to be helpful but just not in the headspace.

OP identified having help from someone who's outside your social circle as helpful. That's Hella real and could be for plenty of reasons, I'm not gonna make assumptions. What jumps to mind about that for me personally is that I'm a paranoid judgey little bitch and I really benefit from space to vent about and process all my shitty little ugly thoughts where they won't break containment, because for me having a barrier behind which I can sort my worst gut reactions from how I actually Want to treat people and show up in the world is really helpful. Doing that over and over for years has let me make really substantial changes to the parts of me & my thought process that i dont like/dont want. Another area where someone who ISNT a close loved one can be real helpful is giving oneself space to have and deal with feelings about a situation with a loved one without putting those feelings on that loved one--an unfortunately very common sitch is when someone has a partner who is either recently disabled or beginning to make life changes to deal with an unmanaged/untreated disability, that person can start having some uncomfortable feelings. Sometimes it's grief that their life isn't looking like it'll shape up the way they thought it would, sometimes they're disabled themselves and reenacting a cycle of invalidation and ableism that they experienced, sometimes it's resource anxiety because they depend on that partner for income/care/shared responsibility. Often a mix of all three. Feelings aren't ever valid or invalid, they're just fuckin feelings, but when this person in this situation leans on their partner for support in *their* feelings about their *partners* health crisis, it goes in some pretty ugly directions like "why didn't you think about ME before you bought that mobility aid?". So, having an "external" form of support can help.

This feature of an emotional support dynamic is hairy and imperfect. Establishment therapy and the "therapeutic relationship" CLAIM to make it simple and easy, which is where I really relate to the point OP is making. In addition to all the shit that's been said in this thread that applies to why it don't actually work that way; not being able to know your therapist personally is actually more of a drawback than a benefit. You can know your friends biases and tendencies and seek help from people who you think are actually equipped to do the thing you want based on the circumstance; but the therapuetic relationship is just a facade of "imparality" plastered on by a license over a regular human being with tendencies, ideology, brainworms etc like the rest of us. A relationship/peer based approach requires trust and trust can always be broken--getting fucked sometimes is the price we pay for vulnerability. I'd still rather take autonomy over who why where and what I seek support with in my social circles than buy into a system that has 1) the same problems and 2) additional, worse (imo) problems.

An additional vector for all of this is various peer support models, which have benefits and drawbacks. The icarus project is a defunct, dated-but-earnest early 2000s attempt at building a group model, which has archived resources and publications that are pretty good for peeling apart and selecting what we think will work from.

Peer support & skilled, non-hierarchical unlicensed emotional care is very much a thing that happens in the world. In rad scenes currently it is an EXTREMELY theyfab-centric field which has a whole other can of worms: but deciding what we want out of emotional care and how to make it happen for eachother is very possible and I think there's both value and drawbacks in reading about some of these tools/techniques and talking about applying them with our friends or friend groups in ways we think will actually be helpful (e.g. I always think it's good to come at this shit from a place of using tools instead of letting them use us, being aware of not tryina form social structures that supercede individual usefulness, like @sonicismyboyfriend said radical resistance to alienation is really important here bc insular social groups that create actual Rules of engagement are uh...fucking bad; so yknow. Use the shit that works situationally not dogmatically)

Therapy would be so good if it were good

[glaivenoct]

1, 5, 19 for ao3 wrapped

ao3 wrapped [writer's edition]

Thank you for sending some <3 <3

1.) How many words have you written this year?

There's no way this is going to be accurate but 39,779+

I'm going based off of the words counts from the 5 fics I posted to ao3 this year. However, there are things I've written that are still sitting in my docs. Not to mention that I have this insane habit of sometimes rewriting things anywhere from 3 to 2o348940293 times over when my brain gets stuck and a fic isn't working out the way I want it to. There's some things sitting in WIPs that are already on rewrite number 3 and I'm this closer to rewriting it AGAIN ;A;

So it's hard to say, but there's a base to go off of at least ;u;

5.) What work of yours got more feedback than you expected?

I'm still to this day blown away by the response I received on Even Angels Deserve Guardians ;u; It was the most encouraging and motivating response I've ever experienced, especially since it was my debut fic in both Tristamp & Vashwood fandoms!! So many people said welcome and apparently really enjoyed my characterization of both Vash & WW? Which was probably my biggest concern when writing it. I wanted to do right by them so bad and I was worried since I was used to writing The Same rarepair for the last several years in a row ;A;

I'm so grateful for every kudos, bookmark and lovely comment ppl left on it QuQ

19.) What’s one pairing you want to explore next year?

Heh I still haven't tried my hand at Pelnoct or Pelnyxnoct oops ;u; I think it's safe to say Vashwood is a high priority on the list next year since I've only managed to do one fic for them so far. There's still plenty of exploring to do with them ofc.

But ok. Listen. I honestly don't think I will ever actually be brave enough to try my hand at one of my newer fav pairings, but just hear me for a sec pls -

Nanago

I don't talk abt jjk stuffs with anyone but the voices in my head. So I'm taking my chance to spew this out into the void, apologies in advance. AHEM!! I don't know if I have the capability to write either of these characters or the universe of jjk itself well or believably - but goddamn do I enjoy thinking about the potential of these two.

Because, in my head, there is just something to be said about a character that is literally physically untouchable unless he actively turns off his power because he has deemed a certain space, object, or person Safe Enough to make physical contact with him. There is something to be said about a character with this renowned title of being "The Strongest", and the loneliness that might come with that underneath this "idiotic", "flippant", and "egotistical" personality. ALL OF THIS combined with this character losing their "one and only" technically two times, and between both instances, calling love "the most twisted curse of all"

Like I love Gojo for the chaotic fucker he is, but I like to believe there are things there under the surface, beyond those general wants and goals he talks about in the series. And it gives me brainworms - especially in relation to Nanami.

Nanami, my beloved. Calm and pragmatic Nanami who sees himself as someone with "no concept of a reason worth living or something worth doing". Sigh. THERE IS ALSO SOMETHING TO BE SAID abt a character who, at the hands of the jujutsu world, also loses their only friend and experiences much suffering. A character who only chooses to return to this world bc, even if it brings him pain and suffering, at least he's helping people. An incredibly selfless character that values the lives of his comrades, ESPECIALLY the youngsters. Goddd does he want to protect the youngsters and let them be youngsters. He might be hella opposite of Gojo personality wise but

A.) That's part of what makes them fun hehe >:3 B.) It's fun to draw the parallels and contrasts, and despite their differences in how they approach things, I think they share similar wants and goals - particularly in reference to the youngsters and seeing a change in the world.

WITH ALL THAT SAID - I want these two to find something in each other amidst all that ish. and like, make out about it. Idk if exploring them is something I'll pull off in actual writing next year, but at the very least I will be in a corner somewhere exploring them in my head.

And thus concludes Brina's sudden Nanago ramble ty and m'sorry I just enjoy them!!!