#and sometimes i have to outsource my cute ideas

[greetingsfromuranus]

Can you draw how Double D baked cookies? :3

ive been tryin but i forgot how to draw his face again........ one day ill figure this one out

[444lpblue]

Sacrificial Princess and the King of Beasts #5 - The Holy Beast of Immortality and Rebirth

Screenplay: Seishi Minakami Storyboard: Kiyotaka Kanchiku Episode Director: Masako Sato Chief Animation Director: Masahiro Fujii Animation Directors: Brian Barredo, Kazuyuki Ikai, Konomi Sakurai, Shinichiro Minami, Wei Xulong, Wei Feng Du

Still catching up on anime and started watching Sacrificial Princess some more. I'm a huge fan of the Sacrificial Princess manga, that is no secret, and I was a little worried about cramming so many volumes into the given amount of episodes, but after watching 5 episodes so far, the script has been genuinely very accurate to the manga.

I have no idea how he did it, but I will never doubt Minakami again. Each episode contains a lot of content, yet it never feels rushed. The way he handles the storytelling of Sacrificial Princess is so impressive. This episode, in particular, is one of the best parts of it. They only had about 5 minutes after introducing Bennu to give us some background on him, his character, and his personality, and to provide us with the satisfying moment of him being able to fly. I looked at the time left in the episode and thought, 'There's no way' they're going to do all this in one episode, but they did, and it felt perfect, honestly. I felt what I did when I first read this in the manga.

Of course, that also has many things to do with the episode directors and storyboard, who gave us strong visuals for Bennu's past and Sariphi's summoning. It was a darker and grittier visual than the show usually presents, but it doesn't get too dark as we always have cute-faced Sariphi shining in the light (literally) in shots to let the viewers know everything is okay. The visuals for the summoning of Bennu (especially the failures) reminded me of something almost like a Vanitas-type visual – a bit mystical yet somewhat foreboding.

Sato has worked on episode 1 and 5 of the show, which has been arguably 2 of the best episodes I've watched so far. They just stand out greatly in my opinion just in terms of how refined and visually potent it is. She just has such a great way to show the brightness that Sariphi exudes to others, while showing us the really dark and gritty nature of what's actually going on.

The animation for this episode was also consistent, while remaining conservative. People often give J.C. Staff a lot of crap, but I do not think they're a bad studio. They do sometimes push out mediocre material, but when they have a lot of their in-house animators like in this episode, it genuinely looks refined and animated enough. It only really got a bit janky in Episode 3, where the entire key animators were outsourced to Jumondou Seoul, Giza Studio, and Sonsan Kikaku. There was a noticeable drop in animation quantity and quality in that episode, having extremely limited amounts of animation and when it did move it was very stiff. However, when they come together to work on episodes like 5 and 1, it genuinely looks good. I don't think we should blame the entire studio for projects like Requiem of the Rose King because it doesn't really make sense. There are many factors that go into a project, and while upper management has a lot of control, each project, even if it's from the same studio, has different people working on it. Many projects also involve a bunch of freelancers, some great, some not so great, so the quality of a studio's projects can vary greatly. I see J.C. Staff as a decent studio that is sometimes judged too harshly.

If Sacrificial Princess can push out episodes like these, I wouldn't mind those dips in between the less important episodes. So far so good, hoping it keeps up for the rest of the series.

[signalwatch]

Watched:  09/21/2023

Format:  TCM

Viewing:  Second

Director:  Douglas Sirk

Sometimes you just need a good cry.  This is the movie to make you do it whether you like it or not.

Way back in the mid-90's when I was going through film school, we, of course, had screenings of films.  The movies were curated and representative of a variety of eras, forms, genres, etc...  all tee'd up to illustrate whatever the instructors planned to discuss that week.  It's a weird way to do homework, but we saw some great stuff.  Also, I got to learn to sit with films that were never going to be my cup of tea, especially at age 19 or so.

One of the films shown was Imitation of Life, a 1959 melodrama spanning decades and following a young, widowed white woman, Lora (Lana Turner), who teams up with an African-American single mother, Annie (Juanita Moore), to jointly raise daughters of a similar age.  

It's actually a remake of a film I haven't seen from 1934, starring Claudette Colbert and Louise Beavers.  And one day I'll watch that one, too.

During the same meet-cute where Annie and Lora meet, Steve (John Gavin) appears as a photographer, indirectly getting Lora her first gig and - as this is Lana Turner - deciding to woo her.  Lora welcomes Annie and her daughter into their humble apartment, and as Annie settles into triple role of housekeeper, best friend, co-mother, Lora's dreams of success on the stage suddenly take off. 

At the half-way point, the movie escalates quickly.  We have a time shift to the end of the girl's high  school careers.  Lora's daughter, Susie (Sandra Dee), is a perky, happy rich blonde girl attending a nearby boarding school.  Annie's daughter, Sarah Jane (Susan Kohner), has matured into a lovely but bitter girl.  Early signs of her wishing to "pass" as white have grown, and now she's hiding her mother and the fact she's Black from anyone she can.

To put a point on it, the title has meaning!  As Lora is focused on her career, she misses what's happening with her daughter, with Sarah Jane and - finally - Annie.  She's been able to outsource her mothering role to her friend, running from job to job, and having no real interest in what's happening with Sarah Jane other than a detached view of her friend being upset.  But Susie herself is living in a world of illusion - believing she's falling in love with Steve, who's essentially treating her like his daughter or pal.  

Sarah Jane's story is paired with Annie - who can't do anything to help her daughter and stay in her life.  The dialog may be a bit clunky by 2023 standards, but in 1959 as much as today, this is some rough stuff to watch in the best way.  

SPOILERS

Look, Annie is slowly dying over the last 45 minutes of the movie, and nobody fucking notices, even as she's lying in bed.  Lora is preoccupied with Steve, her career, etc..., Sarah Jane has run off to the West Coast to live as a white woman, and Susie is convinced she's marrying Steve - and when that doesn't work out, she's going to run away to Colorado.

Annie can't save these people from themselves, and she can't be there for them anymore.  

Anyway, she passes - and you think you're okay, until the funeral and there's Mahalia Jackson.  And I was utterly wrecked.

Back in my college days, by the end of the film, the snobby film kids were largely locked in, myself included.  I think I was more invested this time than even on a first viewing.

Melodrama gets some side-eye.  We think of it as "soap opera" or low-class.  There's surely some misogyny baked into this take as this film, and many others aimed at women, were busily passing the Bechdel test decades before it was dreamed up - and this doesn't deal much at all with masculine interests or pursuits.  But at the end of the day, melodrama can be more universally understood than big concept pictures and the accessibility of the emotional content - when done well - can carry over complicated ideas.  This is a movie about challenges the audience who showed up for a Lana Turner movie* may not have been aware they were getting.

The movie is matter-of-fact about the world to which Sarah Jane is reacting, and her desire to want something other than the race-based class system into which she was born is understandable, if utterly tragic..  But the love of a mother being so great that she has to let her daughter go is some moving stuff.  You hope that audiences of 1959 (or 2023) understood their part in the tragedy.  Only in death is Annie truly appreciated.

It's Sirk, so every frame is gorgeous, and I half want to re-watch immediately to determine some of what he did to drive the story with camera and lighting - with astounding use of technicolor in mostly domestic, not-exotic locations or sets.  This is his final Hollywood melodrama, and I've only seen this one and All That Heaven Allows.  I'm curious to check out more.    

*prior to making this movie, Turner had been caught up in a sensational news story as her mobster boyfriend was killed by her own daughter who was protecting Turner from physical abuse.  Prior to that, Turner was considered one of the sexiest women in film (see: The Postman Always Rings Twice), and arguably Turner was continuing her run of doing quite well in this department with this film.

[castingmysilver]

....I do have *feelings* about "AI" art. Even separately from the issue of AI spitting out convincing-sounding bs writing containing misleading information.

I am not theoretically opposed to the idea of humans having an automated digital tool for interpreting neat concepts from their heads, from which they can then draw future inspiration or just communicate an idea more clearly to their friends. I actually used to daydream about it. But...

The way that it works *as things now stand,* is that it is essentially...

Do you remember the "blends" and "photo manips" that used to be popular in fanworks communities? Snag some popular media screencaps or even somebody else's art, erase the edges around objects, layer things up and change transparencies, whatever, until you had something cute you could use for a desktop background or fan-forum signature graphics?

It seems to me from my understanding of "AI" art now that much of it if not all of it is just outsourcing the labor on a really fancy blend, then refusing to credit the artists and properties sourced, and pretending it is so thoroughly yours that you can ethically sell it. No matter how many weeks the artist may have worked on it plus the training time they spent learning their tools, and no matter that they may personally be selling the originals, and no matter that sometimes it contains their and their friends' likenesses in portrait form.

Like... I did use other artists' work in blends sometimes as a kid but I never claimed ownership of the material, I put a disclaimer that I was willing to remove it on request if I posted it anywhere, and I *still* feel it was on ethically iffy ground.

And so much AI art generation is drawn out of databases of living artists' work, without their consent, sometimes in spite of them trying to indicate a desire to opt out? And if they use filters that make it harder to steal they can get actual *death threats* for "corrupting the data pool," because when their work gets stolen *anyway* against their *explicit, repeated No* they had the audacity to make life a little harder for the folks doing it.

I know it's a Pandora's box we've already opened technologically but I still... wish there was more legal recourse for independent artists with the *desire* to protect their work, and without knowing whose work was or wasn't "blended" by the algorithm at the user's request even truly beautiful and interesting "AI" art tends to make me very concerned.

[blessphemy]

all of These wips are like. catnip to my eyeballs i am Looking at them intently. i am Observing them in the most normal and respectful of manners. i want See them so badly.

(related: & obviously that animatic about Human One's backstory has me frothing at the mouth)

readmore because i have Can't Shut Up disease

like for starters i am obsessed with Human One in a way that is absolutely 100% proportional to the amount of narrative weight she has in Fugitive Telemetry... like yes i know she has a scant handful of lines but!!! goddamn. that whole Scene in the book destroyed me. she's so mind-bogglingly brave and so tragically incorrect, but in the most believable of ways... and murderbot knows. it knows. it doesn't press charges because it knows.

and obviously i'm a fan of meta too. it's funny cuz i don't do much in the way of meta writeups myself but i'm such a big fan of them. thinking them over. like it tickles the brainstem, i love seeing those citations and those connections being made.

also you've mentioned your oldest murderbot wip a few times now and i get the sense it's some kind of white whale. if that creature ever properly surfaces from the dark depths of imagination into the surface of the universe i'll be so damn excited.

this is me bullying you. via tumblr notifs. and my unquenchable Thirst for these wips you are dangling in front of me like tender meats so teasingly!! dangit

.

as for the stuff i've written, uhhhhh, i've kinda just been plugging away at my drabbles. :3

it's been super fun to work with the drabble format! before this i was Sorely not practiced at them, but i've learned so much by trying the micro/short-form! truly an epic battle against my Can't Shut Up Disease to write something in just 100 words. you'd think the limit of making something short would make it easier, and in some ways it does. in other ways it really adds an element of challenge, and thinking of things in terms of like, what is the most important part of this? how do i make every single word count? what is the crux of it, no embellishments?

so, i've had a lot of fun with it, and i'm grateful to all the prompts for giving me ideas to chew on, because when it comes to writing stuff i sometimes get stuck with my head So Empty. it's like wow, i have never had a thought in my life. ty prompters for letting my outsource Thoughts and brainstorming, haha

i would definitely recommend folks try out writing a bunch of 100-word drabbles sometime. really get into the Art of it. it's a fun brain exercise, and then you have cute little bite-sized word snacks to show for it.

The march of time is inexhorable, and the submissions deadline is creeping up! Make sure you get your WIPs brushed up and posted before the end of April, which is in just a couple weeks!

If you want to create something but don't know what, see if our prompts list inspires you.

Thanks everyone!

[outshinethestars]

Like Santa Clause (Daredevil, MCU fic)

There had been cookies appearing on rooftops all over Hell’s Kitchen.  Matt smelled them when he was out on patrol, damn near tripped over them a couple of times.  Sometimes there was a glass of milk left out there, still cold, like it’d been set out on the roof late in the evening.

This time, there was a note.

It was written with marker, of all things, which meant that Matt couldn’t read it, but his burner could take pictures, and send them as texts, and read out the texts it received, so this was potentially a problem he could outsource. The question was who to bother with an idle curiosity at two am on a week night.  Marci would be awake, he knew, but she would also count it as a favor, and potentially mock him mercilessly depending on what the mystery cookies and note actually were.  Karen was definitely asleep, or at least she should be, because she had a job with actual bosses that required her to be at work early in the morning.  Foggy was back ( Foggy was back! ) but he was probably asleep too, and Matt didn’t want to bother him with night work, even something as seemingly innocent as mystery cookies.

Claire was back too, Matt realized, and she was working the night shift.  He wondered if she was the sort of person who texted at work.  He figured that if she was actively saving someone’s life she just wouldn’t answer a text, and she wouldn’t mind being bothered with Matt’s curiosity.  It would probably just be a welcome change of pace from him bothering her by bleeding out on her couch.

Actually, Matt hadn’t come anywhere close to bleeding out in almost a year, but from Claire’s perspective it’d only been, what?  A couple of months?  Matt really had done a disturbingly bad job of taking care of himself back then, it was honestly warranted everyone who’d been been blipped expressed baffled disbelief at the idea that he’d managed to survive for five whole years in their absence.

Matt took a picture of the paper and texted it to Claire, and got an answer back almost immediately.  He made sure no one was in normal hearing range and played it.

“Did you mean to send me a black rectangle?” It said.

Oh, right, light.  That was important for the whole seeing thing.  Matt took the note to the nearest working street lamp, sniffed it to make sure it was right side up, and tried again.  There was a longer pause, and then the phone rang.

“Aren’t you at work?” Matt asked

“I’m hiding in a broom closet,” Claire said, “Because you need to hear this, Matt.  A little kid wrote you a letter.”

“It’s to me?” Matt asked.

“Yes, it’s written in red marker and it says, “Dear Daredevil,” (The D has these cute little devil horns and the Is are dotted with hearts all the way through) “Thank you for watching over the city.  My little sister, who is my big sister now, says that you never stopped being a superhero during the blip, no matter how scary it got, so I wanted to say thank you for taking care of her and Mommy and Daddy and everyone while I was gone.  I made you oatmeal raisin cookies, because they’re my favorite.  I hope you like them.  Tracy from school says that you’re supposed to leave sugar cookies, but those taste boring, and anyway, we don’t have any cookie cutters shaped like devils, just Christmas ones.

If you don’t like oatmeal raisin cookies, please leave a note and I can make you something else.

Love, Sally, Age eight-slash-thirteen.”  And there’s a little stick figure of a girl in a pink dress with curly yellow hair and a speech bubble that says “Thank you Daredevil!”.  Matt, where did you find this, and were there cookies?”

“There were cookies,” Matt said, a smile curving his lips, “And milk.  There’s been cookies popping up all over the place, I wondered what it was about.”

“The city appreciates you, Matt,” Claire said, “No go back and try those cookies, I want to know if they're any good.”

The cookies, as it turned out, were delicious, and he told Claire as much.  After patrol, he swung back around to pick up the rest of the cookies, and shared them with Karen and Foggy and Marci, though he made sure to save a couple to give to Claire later.  The next night Matt printed out a letter and left it on the building.  It read,

“Dear Sally,

Thank you for the cookies.  I do like oatmeal raisin cookies, and yours were delicious. I shared them with all my friends and they liked them too.  I know it can be scary, coming back from the blip, but all of us who stayed are so happy to have you back.

Love,

Daredevil”

[regrettablewritings]

Look, if it helps y’all feel any better, try imagining Actor AU.

Personally, my idea of Actor AU includes:

Hunter’s actor is actually goofy and leans in hard to the dad vibes. His hair is, in fact, quite real, much to the dismay of his cast mates. Omega may have recorded BTS snaps of everyone and his included attempting to play dad rock on a guitar he keeps in his trailer.

Wrecker’s actor is actually the Smart Guy, having a degree in something complex like biochemical engineering or something. He’s also quieter and a lot more gentle than the character he plays, preferring to spend his time off-camera reading.

Echo’s actor likes to crack jokes a lot, specifically about how he’s the guy who always has to be in the makeup chair “at the crack of dawn’s ass”. Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair get an earful of playful fussing if he hears them whine about sitting still for their tattoo or scar makeup. Actually has a prosthesis, though his is for one of his legs.

Tech’s actually got a degree in English (“Why else would I be acting?”) and while he’s also on the spectrum, he’s a bit less rigid than the character he plays. He sometimes wishes his character was more forward about things but ultimately respects the sass. His Kiwi accent is a bit stronger outside of the role.

Crosshair’s actor . . . is ironically nearsighted. Initially, the reason he always seemed to be glaring was because he was trying to get used to the contacts he was given for the first shoot the Batch ever appeared in and it just suited him. Surprisingly chill guy otherwise, very aware of how intimidating he can come off as by looks alone.

Omega is the most like her on-screen character. Just a really cheery, outgoing girl! She brings her homework to do on set sometimes, and asks Wrecker for help since he’s the one who’s best at math and science.

Everyone is always joking about the hair situation: Hunter’s hair is real, they keep having to shave Echo’s hair, Wrecker prefers to be bald, Tech’s hair is actually curly and he hates how it constantly must be jacked up for the sake of his character (think Cillian Murphy’s feelings a la Peaky Blinders), and Crosshair made jokes about how he was so used to dyeing it that he no longer remembers what his hair color actually is. Then when they made him bald (even if by use of a bald cap), Echo and Wrecker chanted “One of us! One of us!” Omega’s hair is naturally blonde and cute so the costumers left it that way.

Once, Omega snapped a pic of Echo in the middle of his makeup regimen all powdered up. Fans saw and quickly began to compare him to a baby covered in powder. Echo liked the image and comparison so much that he printed it out and taped it to his mirror. Now, a common meme that he happily plays around with is “Echo is Baby.” Sometimes, he’ll even deepen his voice and go, “I  a m  B a b y” just to get a laugh out of someone.

Interviewer: So one of the things that makes the Batch stand out is how they’re generally unafraid of experimenting with their appearances, tattoo-wise in some cases. Are there any tattoos you’d perhaps like to get? Anything like the characters you play? Hunter: Oh, not at all! A face tattoo?! That big!? I’d pass right out right in the chair! Crosshair: Same. I think Crosshair’s tattoo is more about intimidation, and frankly I think I’m scary enough. That, and I don’t know what the guy was on to be able to withstand a tattoo to the face, but I don’t have any of that on me so I doubt that’s ever gonna happen. Hunter: Yeah, the closest thing I think I could do is maybe something on my arm. Maybe my child’s hand print or something of that nature. Crosshair: Ooh, a good old dad classic. Hunter: Yeah! Wrecker: I actually haven’t thought about getting a tattoo since, like, my university years. But hey, who knows? I’ve been told I have plenty of real estate for it! Echo, sheepishly laughing: I like the idea of tattoos, but needles freak me out. Yeah, I know it’s a different type of needle but like?? I don’t like pain!! I think the best I could do is just keep applying one of those temporary tattoos to the same place over and over to create the illusion of having actual ink on me. Maybe mess around with people and skip a day or two. Or better yet: Change out the design! One day there’s a dolphin on my neck, the next day it’s a tiger! Omega: Mum says no tattoos until I turn 18. But I’d like to get a Batcher helmet as commemoration! Tech: I actually have a tattoo! I mean, it’s nothing like what Tech would probably have. I feel like if he ever got any ink, it’d probably be something geeky like his favorite equation, or something symbolic of the galaxy bottled up into a formula of some kind. I imagine that if he wanted something artsier, he’d probably outsource to someone with more artistic skills. Tech: Anyway, my tattoo is of a turtle! Everyone: *is either looking at him or snickering* Crosshair: . . .  A turtle. Tech: What’ve you got against turtles?

Omega convinces the guys to participate in some TikToks and such “for media purposes”. This ends in Wrecker, in character, saying, “Hunter: Omega’s trying to sneak around. But I’m dummy thicc, and the clap of my butt and meaty fists keep alerting the guards!”

Yes: Everyone wishes they could have a lightsaber. Yes: Everyone would most definitely make the lightsaber noises if they had one. And yes: Everyone makes do with their blasters, but they do revert into children who go “pew pew!” every time they pull the triggers. Even Crosshair’s actor, who more so goes “pow” or “bang”.

Interviewer: How are you like the characters you play, if at all? Hunter: I’m a cool dad with awesome hair. Omega: We’re both very curious! Wrecker: I don’t think we -- Oh, you know what? We both love Lula! Echo: You mean aside from a prosthesis? Uuummm . . . Ppprobably . . . We both love a godawful pun! Tech: I think we both like to collect knowledge for the sake of it. And also, we drive like crazy. Crosshair: We can both be a bit catty

Tech’s actor is constantly fumbling his lines simply because of all the technobabble he has to say.

I do not know why but the image of Crosshair’s actor being a surprisingly good juggler haunts the cinema of my mind’s eye.

And also . . . They are most definitely Maori or of Maori descent, so jot that tf down.

Don’t know how it’ll help, but Actor AUs are simply The Best™️ so that in and of itself has my stamp of approval for cheering up!

[writesowhatnext]

the solution is outsourcing // fred weasley

Summary: the reader is awkward… really awkward, but quite brilliant, really. Maybe that’s why Fred’s so interested

Request: hi lovely, love your writing! can i req a fluffy fred weasley x ravenclaw!reader please? maybe the reader knows something that’ll help him with a prank or something?

A/N: I had such a hard time writing this if not purely because I fell down a hunger games rabbit hole and felt like I was 12 again BUT ALSO halfway through this I was creasing because I kept having to tell myself that I absolutely could not name this ‘the highs and lows of high school quidditch’

Reader: Ravenclaw

Warnings: 1 swear word maybe?

Hogwarts, as you discovered pretty early on, was not at as boring as most schools in the area. First of all, there weren’t any other schools in the area due to it being a castle nestled just within the Scottish Highlands and all. Secondly, being a school for wizards, it had its fair share of perks that came with the territory: from learning about thestrals to broomsticks to sleeping draughts and everything in between, life at Hogwarts had a certain je ne sais quoi that most schools just weren’t cut out for.

After the second time Harry Potter, a boy in the year below, was almost killed, you figured that Hogwarts’ flair came less from its magical subjects and more from the drama of constant near-death experiences. Regardless, though, you wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

Amidst the chaos, it was easy to forget sometimes that Hogwarts was still a school. A school full of teenagers. A school full of incredibly gifted and incredibly impressionable teenagers.

Not only were you extremely blessed to be learning all that you were but you were also fairly bright, and so you were often very dedicated to your studies, making sure to soak up all the knowledge you could from every possible source. But even you weren’t immune to the consequences of a high school social hierarchy; a fact that would probably explain why your mouth was drying up faster than the Sahara Desert watching Fred Weasley across the room.

He always had this look in his eye like he knew something everyone else didn’t, you thought, your attention divided somewhat unequally between him and your History of Magic textbook. He also always managed to look attractive. You hummed as he turned, starting to approach your table. Wait, what? Your table?

Undeniably, Fred was one of the most popular boys in school.

Both handsome and hilarious, he and his twin brother George were infamous for their pranks and notorious for their quidditch playing. Everybody knew who they were and if they didn’t, they would soon enough.

Your friends, usually so engrossed in their own discussions, grew silent and your hands stilled on your textbook, your fingers pinching at the old pages. It’s not like you often watched Fred Weasley across the courtyard… or classrooms… or the Great Hall.

Well.

To your defence, though, you were usually a lot less obvious and he was usually a lot less heading in your direction.

Why was he coming over to your bench? He probably wasn’t, you thought. It was probably just a detour. Or a prank. You swallowed, unable to tear your eyes off of him. The courtyard was loud with chatter, but you’d wager your heartbeat was louder. Why was he still heading your way?

“Hi,” he said leisurely, crossing his arms over one another as he stood next to your bench. His lean muscles strained under his jumper and though your perspective was warped by your goo-goo eyes and the fact you were sat down, it was still fairly obvious that he was tall. He had the aura of someone tall, you decided, and if his crooked grin was anything to go by, he was apparently completely aware of the effect he had on you and everyone else, for that matter.

You looked behind you, your confusion growing when you found only air and realised that he was, in fact, talking to you.

You frowned, your lips puckering as you tried to form a word, any word.

“What?”

Maybe not that word. In fact, maybe any other word would have been better.

“Uh,” he said, leaning backwards and shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Hi?”

You cursed yourself under your breath.

“Hello?” you replied, your tone unsure.

“I’m Fred,” he said, his uneasy expression replaced quickly with the same charming smile.

Before your brain could catch up with your mouth, you scoffed. “I know.”

“Merlin,” you muttered under your breath, blinking and swallowing back the dryness in your throat. “I’m Y/N.”

“I know.”

The amused smirk playing on his lips almost definitely blew a fuse in your brain.

“I’ve been looking for you actually,” he said, placing his hand on your table and leaning over.

If his words weren’t enough to send you over the edge, his proximity plummeted your brain into some alternate reality where it was unavoidable to say awkward things to attractive strangers.

“Well, it’s your lucky day!” you chimed, your cheerful grin dying on your lips as you heard your own words. Why you couldn’t just behave normally was beside you.

Fred didn’t seem to mind nor notice how painfully awkward you felt.

“Isn’t it just?” he said, his surprised expression relaxing into a smirk. He turned to one of your friends opposite you and pointed to the empty space next to him. “D’you mind if I sit here, mate?”

“’Course not,” your friend said, shooting you an entertained smile and sliding up so Fred could sit facing you. His knees touched yours as he clambered over the bench.

“Now,” Fred said, his tone serious as a decidedly playful glint flickered in his eyes. “I need your help.”

You opened your mouth, probably sucking all of the air out of the quad in the process as your eyebrows knitted together. You didn’t think Fred Weasley even knew who you were. Thankfully, he didn’t wait for your brain-cells to cooperate to form a reply.

“My sister says you’re a genius. I’ll assume that’s true; I’ve never seen anyone actually read this,” he gestured towards your textbook with a lopsided smirk. “So, are you actually a mastermind or are you just fooling the rest of us?”

His eyes were so bright as he spoke, so expectant as well. Expectant? Oh, a question.

You let your gaze trail down his face slowly. His eyes were warmer up close, you thought, and he had lots of tiny freckles.

“Hello?” he said, waving his hand in front of you with a half-smile and an amused frown.

“Um,” you stalled, swallowing. “Your sister. Oh, yes, Ginny. Your sister. Ginny Weasley.”

You nodded, letting your mind catch up to the conversation and avoiding any glances towards his smiling features. “I tutored her last year. Can’t see why: she didn’t need my help. She’s rather sharp herself.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Fred rushed, already bored of the topic of his sister as he dismissed you and leant in closer. “She said that you were brilliant, though. Especially at Charms.”

Your face warmed at his words and Fred watched rather curiously as you looked away, placing your hands into your lap and fiddling with your quill under the table.

“I’m pretty good,” you said, mulling it over. “I think Flitwick just likes me.”

“Yeah, right, anyway,” he snorted disbelievingly. He pursed his lips before leaning forward on his elbows. “I need your help with a charm for a prank.”

“A prank?”

“A prank, indeed.”

You looked to your left, watching your friends pretend not to listen to your conversation. Your brain hadn’t fully caught on to idea yet that you were sat even in close proximity to Fred Weasley, let alone that you were talking to him. And now he wanted you to help him? You couldn’t decide whether stranger things had happened.

“Please?” he said, tilting his head to the side and widening his eyes. Before he sat down at your table, you didn’t know Fred Weasley; you only knew of Fred Weasley and so, what you didn’t know was that he was born with a gift. A gift that involved possessing a pair of the world’s greatest puppy dog eyes. He watched smugly as your indecision faltered and you cracked a smile at his silly expression. Something stirred in his chest at the sight of you.

“What’s the prank?” you asked, keeping up the façade of reservation. Fred knew, though: he’d got you hooked.

“Wait, wait, wait,” you said, waving your hands around wildly. Your friends had long since disappeared from the courtyard, off to their classes or to study elsewhere. “How are you going to give him the hair dye?”

“Ah,” Fred sighed animatedly, stretching his back from his hunched-over position. “That’s for me to know, isn’t it?”

You smiled, pursing your lips together as you shared a conspiratorial look.

Being around Fred, it seemed, was much easier than first anticipated. When you got over the initial shock of him a) knowing you exist and b) talking to you, you found yourself falling into a comfortable rhythm, a light banter of ideas. Every so often, though, you were struck by the slope of his nose or the crow’s feet at the corner of his eyes. You were lucky, you realised, that you had such a good excuse to distract you from just staring at him the whole time.

“Alright,” you said tightly, frowning at the parchment you had ripped out to scribble notes on. Fred’s eyes followed your face. “I think I can do it.”

“Really?”

His face lit up and your stomach dropped at how cute he looked, butterflies fluttering in its wake.

“How?”

Your brows drew together and you bit your lip, fingers drumming lightly on the paper.

“Let me-“ you said, standing up abruptly and circling around the otherwise empty bench, slotting yourself beside him without a second thought.

“Right, so I think that if you take a simple transfiguration charm and then layer it-“ You paused as a deep crease imprinted on Fred’s forehead. “Look,” you insisted, leaning closer to him and pushing your notes around, using your finger to point at your words. “All you have to do really is layer the charms to make them harder to undo and then…”

Fred didn’t listen to the rest. He couldn’t, really. Not when he could feel your warmth next to him, your shoulder pressed against his and your breath fanning against his cheek every time you looked up. He couldn’t figure out how he never noticed you before. Gruffly, he swallowed, forcing himself to pay attention.

“You top it all off with a pre-emptive counter charm and the hair dye will last a while,” you nodded, pleased with your work. “His hair will probably grow out sooner than he can fix the colour.”

Turning to Fred, only slightly surprised that he was already looking at you, you grinned as he let out a deep throaty chuckle.

“Y/N, Y/N, Y/N,” he muttered, shaking his head with his tongue poking out between his lips. “You are bloody brilliant.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, he snatched up the piece of parchment, swung his legs over the bench and raced off, his cheerful demeanour almost making up for the way your heart sank at him leaving. You watched him disappear down the corridor and sighed, letting your head loll backwards. The idea that things would just go back to how they were plagued your mind as you packed away your books, resting your knees on the bench.

He’d always be Fred Weasley, the most popular boy in school, and you’d just be you. Back to normal.

“Oh,” Fred said breathlessly as he appeared behind you. You couldn’t help the smile that lifted your cheeks as you raised your eyebrow.

Your smile dropped, though, when he leant closer and pressed his lips ever so delicately to your cheek. Your eyes fluttered shut at the contact and you could feel the rush of blood to your face.

“I’ll find a way to thank you for your help,” he said, beaming at your surprised expression. “Promise.”

It took a week for them to finalise the prank, it seemed. You wondered whether you’d just missed the outcome until one morning, Draco Malfoy stormed into the Great Hall with a scowl and bright orange hair. His entrance was met with whistles and cheers and as you looked over at the Gryffindor table, your eyes widened as they met Fred’s. Whilst his brother and their friends laughed and jeered, he just grinned at you. With a small burst of courage, you waved. He pursed his lips in amusement before he lifted up a paper aeroplane in his hand, gesturing to throw it.

Your eyebrows creased at the idea, but you watched with your heart beating in your chest as the aeroplane soared over to you, dropping gently onto your empty plate. Looking up at Fred, you frowned, unable to keep the smile off of your face. He urged you to open it, making faces as if to say ‘what are you waiting for?’.

You chuckled; the paper rough on your fingertips as you unfolded it. Written in rather jaunty handwriting, was a simple question signed off with a simple ‘-F’.

You, me, Hogsmeade, this weekend?

You could’ve got whiplash from how quickly your head shot up. Even from so far away, the nervousness and anticipation on Fred’s face were beyond evident and painfully endearing. You nodded, biting your lip to suppress your smile. You’d have thought it was infectious given his own shit-eating grin. He shot you a wink and turned back to his friends and you found yourself working out exactly how long you had until your date with nonother than Fred Weasley.

harry potter tag list: (added later bc braincells - some didnt work)

@creator-appreciator @decadentwastelandtrash @loveisblindness @xinyourdreamsx @brainlesspasta @hariosborn @staringmoony @rexorangecouny @alittletoomanyobsessions @peachesandpinks @yuptha-tsme @obsessedwithrandomthings @dreamer821 @iprobablyshipit91 @in-slytherin-we-trust @haphazardhufflepuff @princesof-theuniverse @whovianayesha @msmimimerton @extra-trash77 @potterverseimagine @my-own-mindpalace @sxrensxngwrites @damonwhitlock @susceptible-but-siriusexual @answer-the-sirens @thisismysketchbook @ickle-ronniekins @harrysweasleys​

[curestardust]

Dust Watched: Heaven's Design Team

Genres: Educational, SoL, Comedy // 12 episodes + 1 Special

A good teacher does wonders.

✧  story  ✧

"God then populated the Earth with all sorts of animals. Or at least that was the plan but it got too tedious so he outsourced it.”

Is the basis for our story. An angel called Shimoda is sent to relay God’s messages (commissions) to “Heaven’s Design Team” who are responsible for coming up with various animals atfer God’s incredibly vague requests, like “make a cute animal that actually isn’t cute”.

The episodes ususally have 2 stories. Sometimes they’re almost completely focused on the process of getting from the base design of an animal to its final form. These parts are fun as you can try to guess along what animal has these features in real life and thus what the result will be but there’s also so much information thrown at you in this format that it can get a little dry. The second type of storytelling more uses the characters and puts them in situations which usually result in an idea for an animal. These are less informative but the cast and writing is fun. The 2 storytelling styles are constantly switched up and thus the anime manages to be extremely informative without coming off as overbearing while also being fun to watch. I also really like the fact that this anime not only explains biology but uses the backdrop of suffering artists trying to deal with an important client’s stupid requests. (I’m sure artists who take commissions will find these parts relatable.)

✧  characters  ✧

While the focus is on animals and biology, “Tendebu” has a really fun cast of characters with great chemistry. All the designers have specific strengths and preferences so their reactions to others creations is often hilarious and their different approaches to the same idea is fun (and also educational). Shimoda is our “straight-man” who plays the role of the viewer, asking questions we’d be wondering and (probably) having the same reactions as us to different animals. The Design team is well-balanced, with a variety of personalities. Also there’s a trans woman! Hooray for representation!

✧  art  ✧

The art style is very pleasing to the eyes, I personally quite love it. It uses pastels and muted dark colours with the occasional pop of primary colours, making it very easy on the eyes. The characters faces are occasionally a bit off but it happens so rarely some people might not even notice. And as this is an educational anime, yes, the animals are drawn quite accurately as well.

✧  sound ✧

Oh, the OST is fantastic! Lots of synth but the good kind. The OP is quite the banger as well.

✧  overview ✧

I had a really bad biology teacher back in the day who was only interested in showing information down our throat so we could regurgitate it on the tests. Therefore, I always dreaded these kinds of topics but if she taught us about animals like THIS? I already know that there’ll be things I was taught by this anime that I’ll remember in the longterm. All in all, a very fun anime while also being educational without it getting too much or too boring. Definitely recommend it!

My Rating: 8.5/10

[finnishfun]

It was much easier to read this book than I expected. It was written quite simply, so I didn’t have too much trouble understanding. The story was also quite relatable for me (especially if I read it a little earlier): a young woman narrates her life while she looks for a job, juggles dating, crazy family, friends and trying to eat less crisps. I expected to find out a bit more at the end, but it was still good!

Tämä kirja kertoo nuoresta naisesta, joka etsii töitä, rakkautta ja elämän tarkoitusta. Oli tosi helppo lukea, halusin vain tietää enemmän tarinasta, ennen kuin se loppui.

“Mietin, miksi joskus uskottelin itselleni, ettei tulevaisuudessa ole mitään, kun kerran kukaan ei tiedä, mitä siellä on.”  

I wondered why did I sometimes convince myself that there’s nothing in the future, when nobody actually knows what is there.

“Juuri nyt tunnen olevani hyvässä paikassa. En parvekkeellani, vaikka sekin on hyvä paikka, vaan jossain, missä on elämää. Pitkästä aikaa en vihaa sitä tunnetta.“

Right now I feel like I’m at a good place. Not on my balcony, although that is also a good place, but somewhere where there is life. Since a long time I don’t hate that feeling.

There were still quite a lot of new and interesting words - >

ks. = katso - see.... (reference) tuottaja - producer pätkätyö - temporary job vakituinen - permanent rahoitus - finance vaikutusvalta - influence notkea - flexible kortteli - block (of buildings) olla paikalla - to be available/online (on an app) yleissivistys - general knowledge nilkkurit - ankle boots katuoja - gutter mieleenpainuva - memorable pillifarkut - skinny jeans eläinperäinen tuote - animal product laskutus - billing ulkoistaa - to outsource hypetys - hyping päivystää - to be on call (waiting) toisarvoinen - secondary itsetuhoinen - suicidal sähly - floorball hengailla - to hang out (with people) bailata - to party kantapaikka - hangout (place) narikka - cloakroom bodari - bodybuilder ihottuma - rash (on skin) ratas - cogwheel kermaviili - sour cream kosteusvoide - moisturising cream kammoksua - to dread kynsi - clove of garlic tervehenkinen - healthy munakoiso - eggplant pilkkahinta - a very cheap price kehkeytyä - to become punnerrus - push-up (exercise) koju - booth käytännönläheinen - practical taapero - toddler oma-aloitteinen - spontaneous ripsiväri - mascara vähäpätöinen - insignificant sisustaa - to furnish ignoorata - to ignore työllistää - to employ nyk. (nykyään) - now, currently makunystyrä - taste bud vanulappu - cotton pad kasvovoide - face cream rajauskynä - eyeliner soma - pretty, cute simppeli - simple hinkata - to rub kuvakaappaus - screenshot oivallus - idea, inspiration nyanssi - nuance hakukenttä - search field (on a website) juustonaksu - cheese puff virstanpylväs - milestone ylilyönti - exaggeration fuula - nonsense rekrytointi - recruiting mikrokuituliina - microfibre cloth alitajunta - subconscious elanto - livelihood kysyntä - demand kyyninen - cynical surra - to mourn avarakatseinen - tolerant laajakaista - broadband telinevoimistelu - artistic gymnastics kauneushoitola - beauty salon lehtikaali - kale viestintä - communication haitari - accordion hieroja - masseuse lisuke - side dish pyykkitupa - laundry room oravanpyörä - treadmill tiskijukka - disk jockey kangastus - mirage lakata - to polish nails musisoida - to play music fillari - bike toiseksi viimeinen - second to last

[spooky-imagines]

Hmmm Vera or Miranda with a short lady S/O?

a/n ; yknow what!!!! to make up for not being able to do polly or faith ill do vera a n d miranda!!!

Vera and Miranda with a Short Girlfriend ; Headcanons

Vera Oberlin - looks down at you a lot. ... it’s, kind of intimidating. - she finds your height really endearing, though. - depending on just how much shorter you are, she might use your head or you shoulder as an arm rest-not in a mean way, it’s more like... a display of affection. - if she hears anyone bad-mouthing you for your height, don’t be surprised if you never see that person again, y i k e s - makes it a b u n d a n t l y clear, that she loves you just the way you are-there isn’t a thing she’d change, certainly not your height. - but if you express you don’t like your height or anything to that effect, she’ll buy you some expensive heels, or fancy insoles for your shoes to give you a little boost-things like that, all the while still assuring you that, with or without these things-you’re her extremely beautiful girlfriend. - that being said, though-she does admittedly tease you about it from time to time, playfully. it’s almost more romantic and sweet than anything. - “Get over here and give me a kiss, itty-bitty.” - things like that - if you’re short enough to have to get on the tips of your toes to try and kiss her or anything like that, she gets... q u i t e the kick out of it. - just stands there and watches you struggle with that... semi-sadistic grin of hers. - “Any day now, honey. My lips are waiting.” Miranda Vanderbilt - just a personal idea of mine i guess but, miranda seems pretty tall, so it’s not much of a surprise if you’re shorter than her, really - thinks you are absolutely, irrevocably, indiscriminately, precious. - “Look at you!! You’re so small and cute!! Like a little doll!” - fawns over you 24/7 - likes to sit in your lap and tower over you-you get so embarrassed! it’s so sweet!! - if she ever hears of anyone speaking in an ill manner about your height, o o h b o y - she’s outsourcing some murders to her serfs. - speaking of her serfs-she usually makes one of them cater to you all the time, at least while at school, just to be sure nothing happens the rare times she’s not watching you or standing by your side. what ever would she do if people made you unhappy without her knowing, after all? - will never ever e v e r tease you about it-the thought of it makes her sick to her stomach, what’s there to make fun of? you’re positively adorable!!! - ... as stated above though, sometimes you feel like a doll. - takes you clothes shopping very frequently, likes picking things out for you just to see you dress up. usually buys everything she picks for you, too. she adores spoiling you and seeing how happy you get!! - probably has a lot of matching outfits with you, in some way at least. she’s into cute couple-y things like that, and the clothes look so cute on you because you’re smaller than she is!! - “Don’t we look amazing? Let’s go out and make the peasants jealous, my love!!”

[foreficfandom]

Mystic Messenger - Their Favorite Gift From MC

-- Zen: Customized Bracelet --

Zen’s sort of an excessive person so he’s almost always the one giving you gifts. He doesn’t want for much and the stuff he does - like skincare products - you used to buy for him but he eventually convinced you to buy it also for yourself so you could do sheet masks together.

When you do buy gifts for him, it can be a bit difficult. His fans send him a bunch of stuff all the time, like baked goods, or fanart, or neckties. He, of course, is a lot happier when you decide to hand him something, but it’s almost never something he’s ever gotten before.

You have to outsource. So you order a custom-stamped leather bracelet from an indie crafter, something he can wear while rehearsing without worrying about it falling off. On the outside, you have ‘I love you’, and on the inside ‘Zen x MC’. 

You give it to him for Valentine’s, his favorite holiday. Zen dedicates the entire day to you and him, and pushes aside the many packages from his fans for later. 

You hand him a little box, and he opens it to gasp dramatically at the bracelet, immediately putting it on and exploring the texture of the leather. The lightly-colored tan matches his complexion perfectly.

First, a kiss for you, then its 904709 selfies with him proudly modeling his gift. It goes on his social media to a slight ruckus, because Zen’s never shown off any gifts he’s gotten before. 

“My love is so thoughtful!!! Such a beautiful bracelet <3333″

Your name isn’t on the outside to maintain privacy, which proves to be a good idea since that picture is circulated like crazy to mixed reactions.

Zen doesn’t care, this is by far the best gift he’s ever gotten. He hugs you tightly and promises to wear it always.

-- Yoosung: Vinyl Laptop Stickers --

You like to buy knick-knacks for each other on occasion. Yoosung’s wallet isn’t packing so he can only get you stuff once and a while, and you return the favor with other little things.

And Yoosung is also kinda already surrounded by little trinkets and other stuff he’s collected on his own. Little figurines and toys from vending machines, plastic reward favors from convenience stores, character-themed pens and mugs and phone charms. 

It can get a little cluttered. His backpack alone is heavily decorated with pinback buttons and enamel pins, and you know he’s home just by the jingling of the many charms hanging off the zippers.

He’s also of a romantic and ‘cute’ mind, so when you give him practical gifts of a headset holder for his gaming desktop, he’s pleased but ... he prefers it when your gifts aren’t quite so banal.

You eventually do some deep surfing for his upcoming birthday, and find this adorable pack of laptop stickers based off of LOLOL characters. These wouldn’t take up anymore of his space, and he could still carry them with him. So during his birthday dinner, you give it to him over cake and he opens it with a gasp. 

“It’s ... oh, it’s so cute! It’s perfect, MC!” He hugs you tightly and immediately has you help him stick them on. 

He uses this laptop for school, bringing it with him on most days, so it was the perfect gift to remember you by. Whenever he opens his laptop in the student lounge, or in class, he sees all those bright colors reminding him of his favorite pastime, but also he thinks of you and how much you love each other.

-- Jaehee: Promise Ring --

You’ve gotten her spice giftboxes for her cooking, a set of cozy loungewear for the both of you, and other cute things she absolutely adores.

But her true favorite? Her engagement ring. A dainty little band that matches yours perfectly. You had proposed to her during a beautiful evening in the park, making her tear up. 

“We’re partners, now,” you said. She gave a watery smile and put her ring on proudly.

South Korea wouldn’t allow marriage between you two, so these rings promised more than a union. It promised a brighter future in the face of adversity. It promised progress in the name of love and equality. 

Jaehee struggles with societal expectations for a woman like her. This ring was like a shield against the worse thoughts, or an anchor during the more tremulous times. She had chosen to pursue you against the world’s wishes, and it was the best decision she’s ever made.

You and her wear the rings 24/7. To an onlooker, it just seemed like the two of you were separately engaged people. But she knows differently. A proud little secret. 

Customers sometimes make comments about them. She’d be ringing them up, and they’ll notice the brilliant white sapphire. “When’s the date?” some have asked. She stammered,  “It’s in the making.” The customer nodded, and wished her a happy union. 

She twists the ring around her finger, looking at you wistfully. It will be a happy union. One day!

-- Jumin: Custom-Made Cologne --

What the heck do you gift the man who could have anything he wanted? Material possessions are never a strain for him. He grew up knowing that any toy, any trinket, any new technology or experience he desired, he would get. He’d ask for ice cream and his father’d purchase an entire chain. 

His current self rarely buys indulgences. He’s had years of being fulfilled already. But he definitely buys gifts for you, almost to ridiculous levels. You can see from the diversity of gifts that he has a reach for any product or merchandise, anywhere at any time. 

When it came time to get him a gift, you had asked the RFA for advice. And everyone was as clueless as you were. Even Jihyun wasn’t sure; the two of them have almost never exchanged gifts throughout the long years of their friendship, since they knew the other was showered in generosity already. 

“You’re gonna have to go custom. Something that can’t be bought,” Zen suggested. So when Jumin announced that he had to go to Birmingham for a business meeting, you came along with him. Which you seldom do, since it’s two days of Jumin being stuck at meetings leaving you to your own devices. But you had a plan.

You looked up a luxury custom perfumery, and with the help of an expert nez you crafted a bottle that would complement him perfectly. On the bottle was a label that said “Love Forever by MC”. 

So for his birthday, he accepted his gift with grace and asked where you bought it. “This bottle doesn’t look like its from Clive Christian, is it? Maybe it’s Dior ...” 

You explained where you got it, and giggled when his mouth dropped open in surprise. He opened it, sniffed, and his smile grew bigger ‘cause it was so much more special now. It was made under your hand, something that will never be replicated. His and his only. 

He loves wearing it to work. It’s so wonderful to be surrounded by a smell that reminds him of you. 

-- Saeyoung: Fingerprint Charm --

He’s a surprisingly complicated man to gift. Like Jumin, he neither lacks nor wants for material needs. Sometimes you’ve given him cute candies or hand-knitted mittens for winter, and meanwhile he’ll give you ridiculously advanced robot cats or he’ll bust out his packing wallet and boom, you’ve got a new Gucci clutch bag.

He kinda knows that he’s hard to gift. So whenever you shyly hand over a six-pack of gag-flavored soda for Christmas or something, he makes a big show of loving it and thanking you with kisses and nuzzles. And he does love it! He’s never had gifts before, not from V or Rika or his co-workers, and definitely not from his mother. Just the thought that someone cared enough to surprise him with trinkets is so heartwarming.

But your anniversary was coming up. It marked the day that Saeyoung’s life turned around a complete 180 for the better. A very important day, one that you couldn’t mark with an exotic beef jerky bouquet or whatever.

One day, while touring a small art fair, you found an indie jeweler who offered custom fingerprint charms. You set up a date to come in and make a mold by pressing your thumb into a block of sand, which was cast into a mold and into which steel was poured. 

You gave it to him over a late-night car ride date. He took the charm out of the little bag and stared at it, you explained what it was. “That’s my very own fingerprint right there. I hope it’s something you can carry with you, and remember me by.”

He was silent for a few long seconds. You saw that his hand was shaking. So you reached over and kissed him, he embraced you tightly and said with a wavering voice, “Thank you.” A sniffle, and he was back to his cheery self. You helped him put it on his keychain, next to his car keys. 

He loves it dearly. Especially when he fingers the print and feels the groves, imagining your hand.

-- Saeran: Sweater --

For a long while, Saeran couldn’t live a proper civilian life and spent many days holed up at home, stuck in an anxious and depressive slump. Any venture outside was an ordeal for him. Bit by bit, through therapy and medication, he regained his confidence.

You found this sweater online, and you knew how much he liked wearing sweaters at home. It had this quote on it that the both of you were familiar with. It had been one of the repeated self-forgiving phrases his therapist suggested. Saeran took to that phrase particularly well. He repeats it in his mind when he feels himself on the verge of a breakdown, and it helps de-escalate. 

You knew you had to buy it. But keeping it secret from Saeran was kinda a challenge because he likes to tour around your internet history when he’s bored. Not for malicious reasons, he’s just curious and wants to know what kind of stuff you like to re-tweet, or what shops you frequent. 

So with Saeyoung’s help, you ordered the sweater under a guise Saeran wouldn’t be able to crack without some effort, and it ended up being a legit surprise when you handed Saeran his gift. 

You watched his eyes trace the quote carefully, and at his fingers tracing the screenprinted flowers. He was quiet for a long while, just exploring the sweater thoroughly.

He can’t remember the last time he’s gotten a gift. Maybe it had been never. His eyes teared up.

You hugged him close and stroked his hair like he said he enjoys. It was almost hard for him to accept this from you; he’d spent years trying to approve others under threat of violence, and he’s rarely gotten to experience true generosity. 

He wears it at least once a week. It’s his absolute favorite article of clothing forever and ever. 

-- Jihyun: Filled Scrapbook -- 

For the holidays, Jihyun had given you a beautiful set of jewelry over dinner, along with a framed photo of yourself that he had taken some time before. He rarely decides to spoil you with his riches, but sometimes the occasion calls for it. 

How can you match up with his generosity? You knew Jihyun would be charmed with whatever you gave him, but you wanted your gift to mean something. 

Once your anniversary began to creep up, you had an idea and began working on your project two weeks in advance - it was going to be a beautiful scrapbook of not just Jihyun’s photos, but also little momentos and decorations on every page, detailing particular moments of your life together up to this point. 

You scoured his instagram, printing out copies onto photo paper and cutting and pasting. You folded within old plane, bus, and boat tickets. There were sightseeing brochures from trips abroad, old restaurant menus, stamps from envelopes he had sent you. You wrote messages and captions with multicolored ink. 

Extra special were the pages dedicated to when the two of you moved into the new apartment together, and when V was officially recovered from retina surgery, and also the first RFA party he co-hosted with you. Some pages touched on more sad subjects.

Finally, you finished the scrapbook just in time for the anniversary, and it was all worth it to see Jihyun completely blown away by the effort you put into it. He spent several minutes on every page, talking them over with you and reminiscing. 

He managed to hold in his tears until the last page, which you kept empty except for a calligraphy script that said, “... and into the beyond.”

[baegarrick]

ZUKKA ADVICE COLUMNIST AU! EITHER sokka as the columnist with a large readership/listenership bc of his elaborate plans to address typical relationship/work problems & zuko asking questions about social situations/making new friends when you've had a troubled childhood & your best friend is your uncle. OR: zuko as the thoroughly unqualified advice columnist (THAT'S ROUGH BUDDY)

yes 👏🏻

idk if it was inspired by this post or not, but if you haven’t seen it you should

finally got this done I'm the slowest actually

as much as I love “thoroughly unqualified zuko” (he’s my favorite dummy), I’m kinda so here for a “sokka’s elaborate plans” au

I’m thinking a little “you’ve got mail” and that post mixed in

so: Sokka is an advice columnist in the college paper. (this is a college au now sorry)

Zuko is one of his roommates (with like, Aang and Haru or something)

Sokka’s column is one of those “ask auntie” anonymous columns, and the name he’s forced to pen under is.... Aunt Wu. Katara and Aang both know he writes for the paper in the column, bc Katara’s his sister and Aang is their oldest friend and he figured it out (the kid is smart), but most of their friends don’t know, mostly bc the paper wants to keep it as anonymous as possible, and also he really didn't plan on staying this long. it was supposed to be one of those easy jobs for a semester until he got an internship in the robotics department, but it’s three semesters and one robotics internship later and he still!! has a job!! (partially because they told him if he quit they would do something unspeakably horrible to him, and also bc he’s..... popular??)

it started out as just a job, but Sokka’s an overthinker. he’s bright as hell, and maybe it’s his engineering brain, but he sometimes misses the obvious sometimes. Half his plans for “how do I deal with this guy who I’m dating who says either the fish goes or he does?” start out “dump him!!!” and then end with “.... actually wait, first of all it’s really shitty he wants you to get rid of a fish??? its a FISH???? it doesn’t even do anything????” and then three paragraphs of both a personal experience (sokka surprisingly has a lot of personal stories that Relate) and an elaborate plan for dumping this guy and then signing him up for like 12 free fish magazines.

He gets really popular, and while some of the questions he gets are weird and kinda over the top (”aunt wu, I’m blind but want to join the wrestling team, how do i tell my parents I’m both gay and stronger than them?”) some are just kinda sad (”aunt wu, my uncle is my best friend, how do I make friends?”). They’re all asked anonymously, sometimes with funny names attached. The latter is from a guy calling himself, “Blue Spirit.”

Anyway. Three semesters into writing this column, he lives with Aang, Zuko, and Haru. He picked Aang, the other two just came with the place (Suki, Katara, Yue, and Toph said “under absolutely no circumstances will we be splitting up so good LUCK boys we’re out.”)

He starts getting questions like, “How do I break the ice with my roommates?”, from the “Blue Spirit” guy, which prompts Sokka to get his roommates involved. He’s not against crowdsourcing. (only aang knows about the job, he tells the others its for school.) Sokka doesn’t really know Haru and Zuko, but like, this is a great way to get to know them, right?

Haru’s chill off the bat, but Zuko’s awkward and fumbling, and a little shy (though Sokka has heard him getting in a shouting match with the TV on more than one occasion), but after they get into it, throwing out ideas, Sokka thinks, you know, this was a good way to make friends with roommates. (he doesn’t write that, exactly, he’s got a reputation to uphold, but he includes “tricking them into hanging out with you by asking about a homework assignment” in the article) Zuko’s in the living room a lot more often after that, and even asked for Sokka’s help on a physics assignment once (ya know, bc Sokka’s super smart), so he thinks the method is tried and true.

A couple weeks of other mundane questions, he gets one that makes him pause. “What do I do if I have a crush on my roommate?” (Blue Spirit). and he thinks, “oh no, the ice breaker worked TOO WELL.” (but, of course, he doesn’t know what to do about this. He’s never had a crush on a roommate before. Aang’s like his little brother, Jet was a creep, and Hahn was the WORST. So he outsources again.)

[”Hey Aang,” Sokka says, hanging half upside down off the couch, “would you date your roommate?”

“Sorry Sokka, I’m flattered, but you know that Katara has captured my heart-- hey!” Sokka throws the remote at him.

“Not me! Just like, in general. Would you date someone you’re living with?”

“Oh, is this advice for your...... thing?” His eyes twinkle, “Or.... do you have a crush on someone I should know about????” (Aang is wildly unhelpful. He says he would date his roommate, no questions asked, but Sokka thinks he’s just thinking about Katara.)

He asks Zuko, next, the first person to come through the door.

“Would you date your roommate, Zuko?” Sokka asks. Zuko looks like he’s a deer caught in the headlights. “I’m asking for a friend,” Sokka says, whenever they ask. This was what had gotten him in trouble with Aang, but so far no one else had noticed Aunt Wu answering the same questions in the paper a week later.

Zuko relaxes, but he doesn’t look much better. “Uhhhh.”

“I mean, not like, us,” Sokka said, “I don’t know if you’re into dudes--”

“Definitely into dudes,” Zuko rushes to say, his cheeks pink all over again, and it’s cute. Sokka can see why dating him might be appealing. Oh no. That’s a thought for later. “Definitely gay.” And then, “I mean.... would you?”

“I don’t know,” Sokka says thoughtfully, looking Zuko over. Before he can think over it, Haru comes out of the bathroom, freshly showered.

Haru just shrugs. “I mean, isn’t your spouse just like your permanent roommate? It’s just like making a commitment really really early.”]

He publishes this in the paper: “What do you want to do about it?”

When he’s typing it up, he thinks about it. There are really two options for having a crush on your roommate. One, you can tell them you like them, or two, suffer in silence. He thinks about it. If he had a crush on someone-- his thoughts wandering to Zuko far more often than he likes-- he would probably do something about it. That’s what he did with Yue, that’s what Suki did with him. He details an elaborate plan with anecdotes about what he did with Yue, leaving out the part that they broke up. Giving her gifts, making her laugh, showing up at her workplace just to hang out for a little while. He details a 12-step plan that involves defeating your rival in hand-to-hand combat.

Of course, none of that would work with Zuko. They once got into an argument over how loud the TV was when neither of them were watching it, so he definitely wouldn’t want Sokka fighting his battles for him.

And then, oh no.

(He publishes the article. He tries not to feel like a hypocrite when he doesn’t immediately ask Zuko out, thinking about what Haru says. It’s a lot of commitment for an early relationship. He’s always the responsible one. For once in his life, he doesn’t go after what he wants.)

A couple months of this, living with these dudes, one of whim he now has a crush on!! thanks ANONYMOUS BLUE SPIRIT, the girl running the horoscopes segment of the paper quits and leaves that segment without an author. cue Sokka, reluctant horoscope writer. (He doesn’t even believe in this stuff!! but does he really believe half the stuff he writes in Aunt Wu?)

He half-asses it the first week. He looks up some bullshit guide to what everything means, listens to Toph describe what she thinks they mean over drinks at the tea place, and then sends it off to be published. He finds Zuko sulking in the living room two days later.

[”My horoscope said I’m going to make everyone around me miserable this week!” Zuko falls back on the couch, dramatically, like it’s a fainting sofa. “With my physics exam next week, I know it’s because I’m going to fail and drag you all down with me!”

“Oh,” Sokka says, stopping in the doorway. “You read those? ...and believe them?”

“Yes?” Zuko says, face a flushed red.

“Oh,” Sokka says, mind going a million miles per hour. “I have to, uh, go do my homework now.”]

The next week, Scorpio gets a nice horoscope about how everything is going to go right in the world and all that other sappy bullshit. Zuko looks better before his exam, and he’s happier. Sokka keeps that in mind whenever he seems Zuko looking a little down.

It’s not until the week before Winter Break that Sokka is forced to confront his feelings, in the dumbest of ways. His laptop breaks, and he asks Zuko to borrow his so he can finish the second-to-final Aunt Wu column. Zuko tosses his laptop over without thinking, from the other side of the couch, and he goes to open a document when he sees one already open.

It’s an early draft of a letter addressed to Aunt Wu, and it’s signed off with, “Blue Spirit.” He looks over at Zuko, who seems to realize what he left open at the same time, and suddenly--

[Zuko pounces, practically leaping into Sokka’s lap to slam the laptop shut. Sokka looks down at him, surprised. The only thing he can think of saying is, “You’re the Blue Spirit?”

Zuko looks more like he’s ready to die than ever, cheeks a furious red, “You read Aunt Wu?”

“Of course not,” Sokka says without thinking. “I write it.”

“Oh,” Zuko says, “that’s so much worse.”

Finally the implication catches up to Sokka, and this time, he feels his face heat, Zuko still sprawled across his lap. “You.... have a crush on your roommate?” Zuko doesn’t say anything. For once, Sokka’s mouth works properly. “Dude, I really hope your crush is on me because otherwise this is gonna be really awkward.”

“Wha--” Zuko tries to say, but Sokka’s leaning down to kiss him. When he pulls back, Zuko looks a little starstruck. “Oh. Yeah. It was definitely on you.”]

(Sokka doesn’t tell him about the horoscopes. He’ll tell him when he graduates, but for now, he likes making Zuko smile.)

[scarluxia]

Let's talk about some Adventures I had in Phoenix, AZ in 2015. It came up in my FB Memories and even though I determined to let everything from last decade go, this one still rankles. I got "in trouble" with these people for being open about my experiences on my Facebook because, even though I hadn't mentioned names, they didn't like me "putting their business out there".

CW for ableism, depression, rejection sensitive dysphoria, and I'll try to put all that in the tags.

My partner, Loki (yes real name), and I had been urban camping in Portland, OR for about a month. It had gotten cold and rainy to the point where we couldn't safely stay living outdoors, and Loki's father (who didn't approve of me) had demanded he come back to California and live with Loki's uncle. He made it quite clear I was not welcome, so I ended up going to Arizona because I had a friend who was willing to put me up. She and I had known each other since 2008 and I figured I would be safe with her. At the time, Loki was much more easily influenced by what his family wanted, and we ended up having kind of a nasty set of conversations over whether he was abandoning me.

While in Portland, my wallet had been stolen so I had no ID or SS card. I had reported it stolen of course, but had received no response until I was leaving Arizona.

My friend in Arizona had two young sons, a husband, and a boyfriend. Now, I have some sensory issues that make it so I have a hard time being around children. High pitched noises hurt me to my bones, like, even now I have to leave the room if my son gets overly excited and starts shrieking.

I was sleeping on the couch in the living room, which was where the kids would go when they woke up and where the TVs and entertainment consoles were.

Anyway, they wanted me to contribute to the household and whatnot but I was severely depressed and I think I've provided all the context I can remember? If the rest of this doesn't make sense, please know that there was a part 1 but it came up in my Memories on a different day and i didn't think I would be rehashing it.

So I couldn't do work, couldn't do anything anyone had asked me to do to satisfaction because various things that did not, in fact, depend on me. Maybe I wasn't being enough of a ~team player~, I don't know. But anyway, I did my best with what I had. Sometimes, because of THE EXTREME FUCKING SENSORY ISSUES THAT COME WITH AUTISM, I would get overwhelmed by the kids screaming. Two little boys, barely school age, and their parents sat them in front of a TV and gave them controllers. That's it. They had toys in their room, sure, but they weren't getting outside. I suggested taking them out a couple times, but firstly, I didn't know the area and wasn't about to go out alone, and secondly, I can't split in half and I'm not in good shape, so even if I had known the area, I wouldn't have taken TWO small children outside to run around where they could run out of the designated area. I'm kind of anal that way, I guess. But Woman A (mum) and Man B ("uncle") never got off their arses to help me take them outside, and Man A was at work.

Oh, yes, parental interaction with the kids. Woman A loved her sons very much. But at their age (3 and 5), they both should have been toilet trained. They should have gotten at least two hours outside every day. They threw fits when they weren't allowed to play video games because, instead of games being a special treat that was earned with good behavior, they were toys carelessly tossed at the kids to keep them out of everyone's hair. Conversely, and bizarrely, reading to them WAS a special treat. The father woke up, played games, basically brushed off his kids, and went to work. Same when he got home for lunch, and he *ordered* us to have them in bed by the time he got home for good. The mum did somewhat interact with them, but mostly just wanted them out of her hair. I wasn't so nice because I'm not good with kids in general and also loud screeching HURTS, IT HURTS IT HURTS MAKE IT STOP. (Same with snoring, or any noise made when I want to sleep.) This isn't me being a ~diva~, it is an actual manifestation of a mental disability.

Woman A was of the opinion that "everyone who lives in a house with kids automatically becomes a coparent", maybe because she wasn't willing to actually parent her kids herself.

Note from the future: I still disagree with the idea that "anyone who lives in a house with kids is automatically a co-parent". Parent your own kids. I don't expect my dad to parent my son when we go visit him and he made it quite clear when I was pregnant that he would not take on a co-parenting role (because his wives 30-50 years ago had handled the babies and he doesn't really know how to calm them down beyond entertaining them)

She got a really bitchy look on her face whenever I (who have been around children, especially TROUBLED children, all my life) made any sort of suggestion. Well sorry, lady, but it's not like you're doing such a great job with them. Y'all act like you barely want anything to do with them. Like they're cute and little and fun to snuggle, but actually teaching them anything? Forget about it, just toss em a controller and hope they don't kill each other in the game or real life. Meanwhile, they have no outlet for their natural physical energy, no real outlet for their curiosity. They're going to grow up stupid and sedentary, with "no one paid attention to me during childhood except when it was convenient for THEM" to deal with. The older kid recently got on meds for a condition that, from what I observed, was likely much more nurture than nature. And what everyone ate, my God, those kids were the only non-overweight people in the house, and it's little wonder! I bought ACTUAL NUTRITIONAL food for everyone, and the adults look at me like I'm from some demon dimension. I made a light comment about how I'd never eaten anything like what they had growing up. You know, boxed potatoes, veggies out of a can, white bread, sugary peanut butter. And Woman A was like, "well YOU don't have kids."

Um, no, but my father did.

I have a kid now, am working part time at min. wage because my boss sees my performance as so-so (plus she's been forced to give me a raise every time the County of Where I Live raises the minimum), in a single-income household, on as much Family With Kids welfare as My County will allow, and I still wouldn't feed my kid that crap LOL

Spoiler alert: they made me use all my food stamps on their household and then kicked me out later that month so... When I bought food I bought HEALTHY food, like, I've been on food stamps my entire life... Also, WIC specifically pays for WHEAT bread, fruits & veggies, and they do let you get peanut butter without sugar so idk what was going on there with them.

My father was a SINGLE PARENT raising a daughter in America after 20 years of living in Europe and raising kids with his previous wives. Well, up until the divorces, anyway. I was the only kid he ever got to keep. He told me things about how the others had been raised compared to how I was raised, and I saw the outcomes of different parenting styles in my peers as well. My father was a very poor man whose trade had been outsourced and who struggled to support us for years. And yet, we never went hungry, and he never fed me boxed potatoes. Never fed me sugary peanut butter, white bread, or veggies out of a can.

Ok I understand canned veggies are better than no veggies, and not everyone can get fresh, but you CAN get frozen in AZ. I always had fresh or frozen growing up.

It wasn't because we were living in the lap of luxury. It's because...

HE FUCKING VALUED OUR HEALTH OVER CONVENIENT, CRAPPY, NUTRIENT-FREE FOOD!!!! This is not a difficult concept. He ALSO read to me every night, despite having what I now realise was a very grueling day at work just to put said healthy food on the table. I didn't get to watch TV or play computer games (edu-tainment, the only kind I was allowed) until after all my homework was done. I can't remember if I was a particularly active child, but I'm sure I had the OPTION!!!! TO GO OUT.

Meanwhile, when I was at various stages of my life, I met kids whose parents shunted them from guardian to guardian because they didn't want to deal with them, kids whose parents were kind and supportive but rubbish at enforcing discipline, kids whose parents were abusive in every kind of way, and kids whose parents did their best.

You know, I wasn't raised perfectly. My upbringing lacked social grace and included some toxic ideas about womanhood that I've only been learning to overcome recently in my adulthood. But DON'T FUCKING ACT LIKE I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RAISING KIDS JUST BECAUSE I DON'T CURRENTLY HAVE ANY. I have my own life, the lives of my peers, and a wonderful online community of new parents raising children in kind and socially aware ways, to draw inspiration from. I can go to any one of them, and to my own parents, and ask "hey does X seem weird to you?" And they'll give me their honest opinion, which *is valuable*. I have even mapped out a general idea of how to get through some parts of my children's lives, and I'm not even planning to have kids for at least another few years. I mean, honestly, it used to be "I don't want kids ever", but dear gosh, if I can have any part of raising someone in a manner that defies procrastination culture, entitlement culture, and everything wrong with the way my husband and I were raised, maybe it wouldn't be a complete horror. If I can ensure that not all hope for the next generation is lost, hey.

Anyway, I've gone off topic...

I also had some issues with the men. Man B just didn't seem to like anything ever. I had no idea what Woman A saw in him. I remember one time he tried to tell me, a Christian, that I can't tell people what a "real Christian" is because it ~invalidates their identity~. Excuse me, no. It doesn't work that way. There are things that Christ taught, and anyone who blatantly goes against them IN THE NAME OF CHRISTIANITY, IS NOT A REAL CHRISTIAN. And yes, I realise this entire rant has been very judgey and technically I'm not supposed to do that either, but it's not like I'm saying they're going to Hell. Just that their kids are going to be sluggish and stupid, and I can't understand how these people have the gumption to try to lecture anyone else about life when they're not even TRYING to get their own lives together.

Yeah so they tried to lecture me about how I was "letting" Loki mistreat me and how I cared more about "socializing" with my estranged husband (I have separation anxiety) than helping around the house e_e They also implied I used depression as an excuse to be lazy.

Man B was supposedly "super employable." Well, okay, even though his "job hunt" seemed to consist more of sitting around playing video games, he was larger than my father (who is 6 ft tall with a protruding gut and weighs 240 lbs at last count) (My father and I are both 60 lbs above our ideal weights. But we're working on it!), and never seemed to get past the phone-screening process.

Now, Woman A told me that Man B was looking for work and that her family and some friends looked down on him for being a freeloader. Probably because she was anxious about me thinking the same. But here's the thing: I wouldn't have cared. Honestly. If you want to sit around playing games all day in your married girlfriend's apartment with her and her husband playing video games all day, go right ahead. If you want to bake three potatoes at a time and take them back to your room for a snack, hey, more power to you. But don't piss out the window and call it rain.

I don't care how employable you are, where you live, who you're living with, or what your lifestyle is like. It doesn't affect me in any way. But don't act like you're doing something you're not just to appease someone's judgmental family. That doesn't ever end well.

Now, see, I clearly have a problem with people who do that. I don't hide many aspects of myself, though I will refuse to answer a question if I feel it's none of someone's business or if they're just asking it to be a judgmental asshole. I refuse to compromise myself or my safe space to accommodate someone who can't make peace with who they are. Hell, you know me! You know my show!

Wait, this is Tumblr, so you might not know my show. It's a YouTube storyboard dedicated to processing and mocking some spiritual and psychological abuse I've undergone in my life. On Facebook, it was one of the things I was known for at the time because I was constantly posting clips and art, and trying to recruit voice actors.

I sell anyone out who I catch lying to me about anything! That's nothing new! And these people knew that about me. For SEVEN. FUCKING. YEARS.

So anyway. Woman A has a lot of great short term goals but no actual follow through because "I'm just not in the mood right now." No judgment there. I've totally been there. The only problem is when it gets ME in trouble.

"Let's walk the dog." "I'm not in the mood." Okay, then the dog doesn't get walked because I can't figure out my way around the place alone.

"Let's do the dishes." Woman A doesn't let me know when the washer stopped. Okay. Then the rest of the dishes don't get washed.

"Let's take the kids outside." "No I'm too tired." Okay, then they're going to be RUNNING AROUND THE APARTMENT SCREAMING WHICH MY EARS CANNOT FUCKING HANDLE so bye I'm just gonna borrow your room and isolate myself for a bit.

"Let's go to the gym!" "Maybe later." But later never comes.

Do you see where I'm going here? As for the men, they BOTH complain that they're "doing too much" around the house. Okay, probably fair for Man A, who works full time and deserves to come home to a clean house. But Man B. Wtf. You literally do nothing, except when you do, and when you do, we're meant to throw you a parade? That's not how adulthood works, or so I've heard.

Note: All three of these people are older than me. I was 24? at the time, fresh out of trade school, on my own for the first time in my life. (Maybe 2nd? I ran away when I was 17 but ended up with my grandparents so idk if that counts.) Woman A was 26 at the time and had been married since 2008, had experience with office work and parenthood, etc. Both men were older than her. I was a chronological adult with the life experience of a teenager, so I felt comfortable saying that.

So did I mention that I'm sleeping in the living room during this stay? And the adults don't go to bed until like 2 AM, which means, because of my disability, wherein I cannot sleep if there's any sort of non-ambient noise, *I* don't get to sleep until AFTER 2 AM. And the kids? They come in the living room screaming at 6 AM. Yep. Okay. Living on 4 hours of sleep, for the mathematically challenged. That and dealing with the emotional turmoil of being separated from my husband when I've got high separation anxiety in the first place. All my pain, everything, it's up to 11. and I'm supposed to contribute but there's not really anything that allows me to contribute.

So what do they do? They ambush me. Call a "family meeting" to tell me absolutely everything that's wrong with me, after WEEKS of telling me what a big help I am and how grateful they are to have me around. Tell me I'm letting my "social life" get in the way of me helping around the house. Hmm. Social life. You mean, VENTING IN MY SAFE SPACE (Facebook, no names named) AND TRYING TO MEND THINGS WITH MY HUSBAND??????????????? Okay. Well since you guys treat your woman like shit, you clearly don't understand or appreciate devotion to one's spouse. Seriously. Woman A told me she used to have extreme separation anxiety with Man A, and that he would brush off her emotions as irrelevant. Her solution was to make it a poly relationship and take a lover WHO TREATS HER THE EXACT SAME WAY. I'm serious. She got no emotional support from either of them. They basically just threw pills at her and trained her to lie down until her feelings went away.

And she had the gall to lecture me (24 at the time) about how Loki (19 at the time & from a pretty horrific family) treated me. LOL ok. Log. Splinter.

As she knew, I'm monogamous. I do have some opinions on polyamoury based on individuals I've gotten to know who are in those types of relationships, but those opinions are irrelevant to this series of rants. Except one, which is pertinent: if you're going to take another lover, they should provide something that your existing lover(s) don't. If you're suffering from low emotional support and you just find someone else who doesn't emotionally support you and who treats you like a child who can't be trusted??? What are you even DOING? Like, she told me NEITHER of her men trust her judgment. What the fuck is a relationship without trust? And don't even try "dick too bomb" as an excuse when you tell me you haven't gotten laid in months and your husband is using your condoms on Woman B.

They don't support you. They don't trust you. And yet YOU'RE telling ME that things with my husband won't get better unless I follow your lead and take another lover? HELL TO THE NO. My husband has his faults, but if I tell him Person X can be trusted, he believes me.

Except for his ex-girlfriend whom he tried to add to our relationship when he tried to be poly, months later. That went Badly.

Or maybe he just knows I'll deal with them myself, with my hot, hot temper, if they turn out not to be trustworthy. He also doesn't treat me LIKE A CHILD. And while I sometimes point at things and make small motions when I can't physically talk, or sometimes even use baby talk when I'm feeling cutesy, I DON'T POINT AT A PIECE OF PAPER AND GO "THE CARRRRRR!!!!" IN AN INCREASINGLY HIGHER PITCH BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY, "Honey, I think we missed the car payment this month. Can you double check while the agent has you on hold, please?"

Okay, being a dick about losing words due to stress was not my finest moment, but at the time, I was just so appalled by how they treated her and how she allowed them to treat me.

So basically these adults who are nowhere near having their lives together, and aren't even really trying, put me on blast for not having everything running perfectly when THEY expected it to.

Let's reiterate. I couldn't get a job because I had no ID or social security card. I was waiting for them to be returned to me. I couldn't walk the kids or the dog, go to the gym, or complete all the household chores because no one would guide me. I need that guidance because of various components of my disability, which I really hate admitting to because I'm super fucking prideful, but I figured hey, she's not neurotypical either. These people will understand.

Their response when I brought this up? "You're an adult. You should know better." Sure, okay. But you should know that a child ought to be potty trained before he turns 5, or even 3; that kids need to run around, are entitled to their parents' attention and consistent discipline, and need!!! healthy!!!! food!!!!

Oh, discipline! So, she would send Older Boy to his room over misbehaving. But rather than enforce time-out, she'd go, "oh, I think I'm being too haaaard on him," and just... Relinquish. He's not about to learn anything that way, ma'am.

They called me trying to reconnect with the person I love more than almost anyone on this earth "obsessing over your social life". Well again, you treat your woman like shit, so MAYBE my undying devotion to the person I love goes a LITTLE bit over your head.

They told me that the household should be my first priority. Except no, because I am an autonomous person and my FIRST PRIORITY is, was, and ever has been the love of my life, whomever that may be at the time. That is 70% of my personality. I'm pretty sure anyone who had ever met me can vouch for my extreme devotion, and this woman had known me for SEVEN. YEARS. I'm not going to throw away 70% of myself to do an impossible task that no one will help me with.

They told me a lot of things I wasn't doing right, and for those of you who also struggle with anxiety and depression, you know that being told for weeks that everything is okay and you're so great and so helpful, and then being told that you're rubbish at everything... You know that that is hurtful. Devastating, even. I wanted to kill myself. I said that. I said that and expressed my feelings about some other things, in my safe space, without naming any names.

And even though I was posting in my safe space, I was polite about it. I was as gentle and rational as possible. I wasn't calling anyone out. Not like I am now. I wasn't trying to lead a witch hunt. I was just overwhelmed and trying to express my feelings. Trying to get myself not to kill myself. I had to tell myself over and over again that it's not what Loki would want for me.

In the morning, they woke me up and kicked me out. Said it was rude for me to say I don't care about their household. I never, NEVER said that. I said "Loki is my first priority." Something along the lines of "that's just how I am and I shouldn't be vilified for it." That doesn't mean I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. IT JUST MEANS THAT MY PRIORITIES WILL *NEVER* BE WHAT SOMEONE ELSE WANTS THEM TO BE. I AM A PERSON. I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHAT TO PRIORITISE, AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO LOVE MY HUSBAND!!!

I MEAN, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. MY NAME IS *SIGYN*. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU IGNORANT ASSHOLES EXPECT?! WHY THE HELL SHOULD YOU HAVE FELT THREATENED BY ME SAYING ANYTHING IF I DIDN'T NAME NAMES AND WAS ACTUALLY RATIONAL? IF YOU SAW THIS, *MAYBE* YOU WOULD HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE PISSY, BUT NOT THEN!

They kicked me out after having asked me to buy them all food. I had used up all my food stamps. Because I hadn't anticipated this at all. I hadn't known they would take such offence to my existence, to my ways. To the fact that I value the man I married more than I value... Whatever they wanted me to value, I guess.

Fun fact: I ended up in a women's shelter after this, and one woman told me to actually kill myself because she was tired of hearing me cry at night.

They said I hadn't made any effort to get my life on track. Because I can just snap my fingers and make my ID appear. Because I can just manifest the money for a replacement. They said all these things that left me almost unable to breathe, in retaliation for me posting that I was suicidal.

Later, Woman A told me that this had been a long time coming and that they were trying to make room for Woman B and Woman C, both of whom were willing to have sex with the men, which is something that I would not. I feel the first woman I met at the shelter was accurate when she said they basically kicked me out because I wouldn't sleep with them.

I also later found out that my ID and SS card had been returned to sender. The Portland PD called me and told me. So my father came to the conclusion that the people I had been staying with sabotaged me from the start. For a while, I didn't feel it, but last night I dreamed about it, and the dream made me angry. I didn't deserve to be treated that way. And I really had to get all this off my chest, so for those of you who didn't immediately whip out your tiny violins, thank you.

[heartofsnark]

MC Comes Out As A Trans Man (KBTBB Headcanons)

Notes: I am a cis person, so while I can educate and ask questions, I will never fully understand the full scope or experience of being trans. This was a request by one of my friends when i was outsourcing the big bunch of Ko-Fi donations that came with no request. I tried hard to do this appropriately, but if I’ve written anything transphobic, hurtful, or just gotten something wrong, please let me know, so I can correct it. 

Eisuke’s MC would be among the most scared to come out as a trans man. Not because he necessarily thinks Eisuke wouldn’t accept him, but because of Eisuke’s status. Eisuke may do a lot of business internationally, but his work is primarily based in Japan, a more conservative country. What is MC being a trans-man means people won’t want to work with Eisuke, what if it ruins the reputation of the Tres Spades and Ichinomiya group. There are a lot of fears and anxieties that go along with this. When MC can’t take it another day and finally comes out to Eisuke, he doesn’t say anything, only listens. He lets MC word vomit it all out, explaining how long he’s struggled with this, how scared he’s been, but every time he’s called a she or something triggers dysphoria for him, he wants to die and he can’t do it anymore.   Once MC is done getting it all out of their system, Eisuke tells them no matter their gender, MC belongs to him. Which is his not so romantic way of saying he’ll love MC no matter what. Anyone who doesn’t want to work with him because of MC isn’t someone he wants to work with and anyone who’d go out of their way to harass MC, will wish they were dead by the time Eisuke is done.

Something important to Eisuke is never making the same mistake twice; it just takes one correction of pronouns for Eisuke to never use the wrong pronouns again.

Eisuke is beyond supportive with MC’s transition, his number one love language is spending money and transitioning to any degree is expensive. Whatever MC wants or needs to help the process is done. If MC wants binders, top of the line best money can buy and Eisuke always messages/calls to remind him when it needs to be taken off for safety reasons. If MC isn’t comfortable wearing dresses or skirts anymore, immediately given a male uniform for the hotel and all those event dresses will be replaced with perfectly tailored suits. If MC wants to start hormone therapy, he’s getting the best doctor on it to administer and keep eye on the treatment. If MC decides they want surgery, Eisuke is doing research into everything that’s needed and where to get the best surgeon. Eisuke will even goes through the trouble of letting MC go through another country for the surgery whichever one has the better process that MC likes. Japan requires sterilization for transitioning, which Eisuke doesn’t like at all, personally. If MC is comfortable with it, he’d still like to have children the conventional way. But, if MC would rather have the surgery in Japan or just wouldn’t want to be pregnant in general, he’ll start looking into surrogates or adoption.

 Soryu isn’t as well-versed in LGBT+ issues or identities, but his reaction to MC telling him he’s actually a man is that, yeah, that makes sense. There are two reasons for this reaction, first one is,  MC has made small efforts to dispel dysphoria even before he felt comfortable coming out as a trans guy, meaning MC wasn’t ever the most traditionally feminine of women, and the way MC seem very uncomfortable to insane degrees when expected to do things that would  trigger dysphoria for them.  It was always clear that this went beyond MC being a tomboy.

The second reason is, Soryu has never been the biggest fan of women. He’s gotten better than his initial sexism, but due to his childhood experience, women have always made him uncomfortable. He even questioned his sexuality for a while when he was younger, if he was this hateful and uncomfortable with women, it would make sense he probably doesn’t find them sexually attractive. Then he met MC and thought it was a case of just needing to meet the right woman, but it makes sense that well, MC just wasn’t a woman. A part of him wonders if somehow he knew before he realized he knew, if that makes sense.

He’s less skilled at changing pronouns and adapting, he’ll make more than one of two mistakes. But, he’s always quick to apologize, try not to do it again, and the guilt on his face is evident. He’ll be supportive in whatever kind of transitioning MC may want to do. Soryu wants to learn more and be the best partner he can be to MC. The mafia itself has some toxic and gross ideas, the ice dragons themselves accept MC readily. Inui might get a little clumsy but he means well, the first time he accidentally calls MC princess, he freaks out realizing his mistake and some say he’s still apologizing to this very day.

One night before bed, MC catches that Soryu’s usual mystery novel has been replaced with a book about what it’s like to be trans, so he can better understand. MC is beyond moved and gives his boyfriend extra loving that night.

There will be other mafia groups and enemies who will see this as something to take advantage of. They’ll purposely insult or trigger MC, weaponize it against Soryu. But, rest assured, the Ice Dragons will make sure those people regret it.

Baba’s MC has nothing to worry about, ‘cause fuck Baba is just perfect, let’s be honest. Honestly, Baba probably knew to a degree, like he suspected it and was just waiting for MC to tell him. If anyone was paying attention, after a while Baba’s nicknames became more and more gender neutral. MC tells him and he’s accepts easily, MC means everything to him and he’d never throw them away for something like this. Besides, Baba is definitely like pansexual or bisexual, so the gender of his partner has and always be irrelevant to him, all he cares about is the emotional aspect.

He’s loving and supportive through any kind of transitioning, reminds them when they need to take off their binder, takes care of them if hormones ever make them sick, or when/if they have surgery. He’s finding the male equivalent to every feminine nickname he ever gave, he realizes calling MC god instead of goddess sounds vaguely cultish, so if MC wants he’ll turn that into angel, but maybe they’re into the cult thing. He’s more than willing to worship them after all.

Hey, this famous person said something transphobic, now their house has been robbed and all the money has been given to foundations/charities that help trans people. How crazy, how could that have happened!?

Would a hundred percent kiss and smooch all over MC’s top scars if they got surgery, making sure he knows Baba loves his body no matter what.

If they don’t cause dysphoria Baba would 100 percent still want MC to wear those sexy costumes, but if he’s not comfortable, Baba can always wear them.

Honestly, Baba would just have the least issues adapting there’s not a lot to say. The biggest fuck up I could ever see him making is calling MC his pretty lady accidentally and he’d be like “oH FUCk, SoRRY, MY HANDSOME MAN!”, he’d feel bad but honestly him being awkward and struggling is cute and he’d never do it again.

Moral of the story, date Baba. Just do it.

Ota’s first response, “Does this mean we have to get you neutered?”, as assholey as it is it flusters MC and makes them yell at him for the dog shit, changing the serious tone to a light and teasing one. Male, female, non-binary, MC is still his Koro and his bluebird. Additionally, I feel like in the art world and having lived in New York, Ota has met trans people and in general just sees it more as yeah, sometimes people aren’t cis and he doesn’t really see the big deal. The sky is blue and he now has a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. He might fuck up pronouns a few times, force of habit, but he’ll try not to do it again.  He might tease them a bit, saying how the dog is now training the master,

Once it’s made public, Ota is even more protective about paparazzi around MC. He knows how quickly they’ll flock to harass and bother MC about his transitioning. Ota isn’t going to stand by it, not for a second, reminding them of how if they don’t watch it and treat MC with respect, he’ll stop painting.

Ota paints flowers and designs on MC’s top scars when they’re feeling bad about their body. He’ll also paint portraits of them in general, MC can visit Ota’s studio and see his transition in painting form. Portraits from early on to the current ones, showing every little change MC’s made, like a beautiful documentation of his growth.

Mamoru  it’s gonna be a slower process for him to get it.He ultimately decides, meh, MC is MC, he loves ‘em no matter what. His reaction is pretty calm and borderline a non-reaction.

He’s gonna mess up with pronouns for a while at first, it’s not that he doesn’t care or doesn’t want to make the effort, he’s just a creature of habit and change is a little hard. When he’s corrected, he murmurs “shit sorry” and makes sure not to not slip for as long as he can.

Mamoru gets a little more protective as MC transitions, he’s a cop and he’s seen too many hate crimes not to feel that extra need to keep him safe.

Mamoru finally taps into that money he gets from auctions when MC wants things to transition or surgery. He usually doesn’t bother to touch it, cause he personally doesn’t need for much, but he’d spend it all to make his boyfriend happy and comfortable.

Before MC started transitioning he would casually grab and play with their chest, following surgery when they lounge together he’ll casually run his thumb over his boyfriend’s top scars.

“No matter what, you’re still just a kid.” 

Rhion, bless his heart, doesn’t know what the fuck is going on. He was sheltered to an extent before he became the Hatter. I’m not fully convinced he knows what being trans means. Telling him is a bit like telling a child to an extent, he’s open and accepting but might not realize the full gravity of it.

When MC comes out and explains it, he’s immediately accepting. MC means the absolute world to him, no matter what. MC has always represented to him, someone who would accept him no matter what, he intends to do the same.

He may falter with pronouns a few time, just ‘cause he can be a little absent minded, but he’s quick to correct himself. He may even pout as he apologizes ‘cause he’s mad at himself.

The biggest concern and issue he may have is whether he can continue calling MC Alice. While, as their relationship has grown he’s stepped away from it more and more, it’s become a sort of pet name. Rhion knows Alice is a girl character and he knows he knows being treated at all like a woman makes MC feel bad, (he doesn’t grasp the full gravity of dysphoria but he damn well understands it hurts MC and he doesn’t want his boyfriend to ever be hurt). It would make

Rhion explains that while he knows Alice is a female character and it’s a female coded name, Alice to him has always represented more of a concept. The concept and idea of someone he was always waiting for, someone who’d love him and be with him no matter what, who wouldn’t shun him. To him, it transcends gender, but as much as he’s attached to it, he’ll stop if it hurts MC. ‘Cause at the end of the day they’re more important than a nickname.

Additionally, Rhion is mesmerized by hormone therapy and/or surgery. Like, seeing how much MC’s body changes, he considers it like magic and always have some cheesy pseudo poetic metaphor. It’s so cool and he goes starry eyed over everything.  MC’s voice is getting deeper? What!? That’s amazing, every octave change is like a beautiful melody! MC’s getting more body hair, body changing, it’s a slow beautiful metamorphosis, like watching someone evolve before his very eyes. MC’s gotten surgery, it’s like a butterfly finally emerging from its cocoon, fully shifted and changed for the better.

Luke  is another one with a non-reaction kind of reaction. MC has to wonder if he even heard him or if he was too preoccupied with his medical book. That is until MC comes back from work and Luke pipes up, “so, do you plan on doing hormone therapy? There’s a very good hospital I know of that provides that treatment. Or I can do it, if you’d prefer.”

Luke does what he does best, medical research. He can’t help much on the social and emotional side of things, he fully supports them and loves them, but he’s not always the best person to go to when you’re having a bad day. Like all cis-people he can’t ever fully grasp dysphoria, but he wants to help the best way he knows how.

He’s scattered brain, but he always knows when to remind MC to take off their binder. It’s like his tea time, never forgot tea time or binder removal time.

He’d very much like to be a part of the hormone treatment managing; he’d probably offer to do any kind of surgery MC wants, as creepy as that might sound. The reason for this is A) he trusts himself more than a random doctor and B) it helps make him feel like he’s a part of it and supporting MC. The only problem is, well, if something goes wrong, he’d never forgive himself. Though if another doctor fucked something up, he’d probably kill them, soooo. 

Sexy bones is a gender neutral nickname, so it stays and he’s surprisingly good with not slipping on pronouns. He researches if top surgery or hormones can mess with collarbones, just to give himself some peace of mind. 

Shuichi’s MC would be scared to tell him because A) he’s an ambassador and political figure and B) he’s a catholic.  Religion and Politics don’t always go well with LGBT+ matters.

Shuichi isn’t transphobic or homophobic, but he’s never thought about much in terms of how those matters affect his life. He’s realistic and pragmatic, he knows not everyone is going to accept MC or their relationship. He knows MC being trans could damage his political career, because as much as the world is moving forward this is still taboo to a lot of people. He knows he may not be allowed back at the church he attends.

But MC is more important than any of that.

He’s very careful and conscious of his pronouns, doing everything he can not to misgender MC. If he makes a mistake, he apologizes and learns from it, it’s fundamental. He’ll get books and material to educate himself on what he doesn’t understand. Learning and growing is something he’s always found crucial, this is the time for that.

He’d strive to use his political power and pull in order to make difference, like pulling for laws in order to help and protect transgender people. While, he was always in support of those things it’s closer to his heart now that it impacts MC.

If he has any question of faith with it, he comes to the ultimate conclusion that God made MC who he is, so he must love MC and if anyone says otherwise they can bite him. If the people at the church make MC uncomfortable, they’ll find a new church.

Hikaru (he’s officially the only one I haven’t read yet, so fuck me if this is ooc), he’s a bit confused at first, just as a whole. Gender and sexuality stuff isn’t something he regularly thinks about. He’s kinda like o..kay, that’s a thing now.

In his very tsundere way of expressing love, “boy or girl, you’re still a dummy”

He’ll have a slow switch with pronouns, lots of mistakes early on, he’s fumbling and apologetic, he sounds grumbly and pouting when he does it. But he means well.

If a guest at the hotel says anything to MC, he’s grabbing their arm a bit too tight and he’s doing his work smile but there’s murder in his eyes.

Transphobes get their computers hacked, suck it assholes.

He’s even easy to tease during some of this.

“Hey, Hikaru, are you gonna miss my boobs?” “SHUT UP DUMMY!”

“You wanna say good bye to them?”

And then Hikaru throws a pillow at him, while his face is tomato red.

~Did you like this set of headcanons? Wanna request something similar? Just wanna support me? Consider buying me a Ko-Fi!~

[bluerosesburnblue]

GOD THANK YOU. I’m so tired of people hating on Sword and Shield when we no zip. I understand being upset you can’t take your Pokemon over (I know I’d be worried if my fav wasn’t a guarantee and even now I’m nervous about some Pokemon I really love not being there) but holy shit that’s not a reason to be calling game devs lazy oh my god.

I think the worst part is that if you know anything about game development, then you know it’s probably not laziness, too. There’s a post I’m gonna reblog at about the same time as this explaining why, at some point, they were going to have to cut Pokemon from the game. Right now there’s 809 Pokemon. If you include new Pokemon currently revealed for SwSh (and add in six more for predicted evolutions for the starters) then that bumps us up to 830 individual Pokemon. But that’s not 830 different models. We have to account for gender and form differences, too, which could be anything from a new texture to an entirely new model for quite a few Pokemon!

There’s a reason that the number of new Pokemon each generation has been less than 100 since they made the jump to 3D. It’s difficult and costly to make and implement that many 3D models. Either they were going to have to keep releasing less and less Pokemon every game (which limits creativity and freshness of gameplay) or just flat out cut things

And then there’s just development stuff that people aren’t aware of. “They future-proofed the models!” They made very high poly models with the intent of using them in future games, yes. That’s why Sun/Moon/Ultra Sun/Ultra Moon lag extremely hard in Double Battles. But there’s A. No guarantee that the models were 100% compatible with the Switch’s hardware and didn’t have to be heavily edited to be used and B. No guarantee that they didn’t have to be retextured. Which they have been. The Switch has a wider color range and different shaders than the 3DS, and it’s very apparent in the trailers that SwSh intends to make use of that

Also, GameFreak... doesn’t make the Pokemon models. They’re outsourced to Creatures, Inc. Which is just another layer of bureaucratic red tape slowing down game production. It may not have even been GameFreak’s call, but rather something they were forced into conceding to due to complaints from Creatures, Inc. and their own programmers having difficulty balancing the gameplay around so many creatures

Like, I get it. I have a lot of dumb favorites that probably won’t make it in. I’m almost certain that the Ultra Beasts are going to be cut, which sucks because I’m a big fan of Kartana and would love some more development of Ultra Space lore (biggest missed opportunity in USUM, honestly)

But right now we just don’t know all that much about the game, and I’ve really liked what I’ve seen do far. The idea of making Pokemon Battles in this region a huge sports tournament is really fun for worlbuilding, aesthetic, and gameplay! I LOVE how all of the Gym Leaders are wearing sports uniforms. The emphasis on family is back from SuMo with Leon/Hop and Magnolia/Sonia and I’m really excited to see where those storylines go. The cities are gorgeous. I don’t mind Dynamaxing because they’re using it in fun ways, like stadium battles and raids. Speaking of raids, they streamlined the multiplayer stuff so well! We haven’t actually seen what camping entails yet, but it sounds interesting. And the game is so colorful and bouncy and you can tell that they really invested a lot of detail work into the environments to really make the aesthetic work (all of the text is readable in their own, made-up alphabet! There’s cute advertisements everywhere!) Like, there’s so much going right with the design of this game (and before people get on my case, design and modeling are different things)

When I saw the Let’s Go games get announced, I went “those don’t look like games I’m particularly interested in, but I hope some people have fun playing them and fall in love with Pokemon through them!” Let’s Go takes place in Kanto only includes Kanto Pokemon and their Alolan forms. I don’t have any particular nostalgia for the Kanto Pokemon or the region (tbh, I find both of them to be the most boring in the franchise), but like... a lot of people either really love Kanto or are newcomers who don’t have a frame of reference for anything else. Or are old anime fans who never played a game. The gameplay is based on Go, which I’ve never played and was never interested in. And honestly, I’m kinda sick of seeing Kanto and Kanto Pokemon in everything. But you never saw me bashing Let’s Go, or telling people they weren’t allowed to like or be excited for the game. I recognized that the games didn’t appeal to me, didn’t buy them, and stepped back and let other people enjoy

In fact, there’s a lot of things about Let’s Go that I actually like! I’m a big fan of the updated Gym Leader outfits and gyms. I think that a lot of the environment work is very well done, especially all of the neat little posters everywhere! The addition of cutscenes like with the Marowak ghost and encountering Legendaries are all very nice little additions. And the partner Pokemon are just so cute when you pet them!

People are just so hung up on demanding more while knowing even less. They’re acting like because they’re fans, they have to buy the games even though they don’t want them. The Pokemon Company makes decisions based on budget, time, cost-benefit, etc. calculations that they have internally that we’re not privy to. (Also, The Pokemon Company, GameFreak, and Creatures, Inc. aren’t the same thing and I imagine that quite a few decisions that people find “questionable” were made as compromises between all three to keep things running smoothly)

The games aren’t immune to critique, but critique is more than just criticizing. Critique is being able to pick out the things that work, the things that don’t, and the possible ways that things can be improved. And even then, sometimes your ideas for how things could be improved just aren’t workable solutions. The people complaining need to stop letting the mob mentality hate train control them, stop acting like they’re owed anything as consumers because again, they haven’t actually consumed anything except advertisements yet, and keep an open mind that development is much more complicated in practice than on paper