#and something about how the relationship started on lies and deceit! and using each other!

[swordmaid]

I don’t think shri’iia would’ve fallen for astarion if he kept up with his overtly flirting act/seduction which is ironic since she’s more comfortable with that compared to the more genuine version of him since she doesn’t know what to do with kindness in general, and this is new territory for her so she doesn’t know what to do with it. anyway. I don’t think shri’iia would’ve fallen for him if their relationship was just about the sex.

the reason why she starts that fwb relationship with him in the first place because she’s using him as a distraction because her oath has been severed and she’s been abandoned by her goddess. she needs something to latch onto or else she will quite literally spiral down since she doesn’t know what purpose she has anymore. shri’iia doesn’t know how to exist outside of lolth, let alone know such a thing was possible. and sex for shri’iia is mostly for the validation that comes with it and less about the pleasure (I’ll get into the whole of that in another post) — not to say she didn’t find enjoyment in it, she does - which is one of the things that sets her off (bc her relationship with her matriarch had never been mutual) but if her relationship with astarion was just about the sex then she would’ve never fallen for him as much as she did.

like the reason why she ends up crushing on him is bc of his companionship. I think they have similar humours and temperament, and they’re both pretty slimy who has no problem with being shitheads and I think that’s the key thing about it. they just have fun together! plain and simple. and I think when it comes down to it, shri’iia is a pretty lonely person who is so so desperate for companionship considering she was either hidden away in solitude or constantly chasing the approval of her mistress for a sliver of her affection and she’s been doing that for a near century. I imagine there are decades where she doesn’t even get a visit from her matriarch, and she is just sitting on the floors of her little tower waiting. I also imagine she talks to herself often because of this. regardless, I think shri’iia just ends up enjoying astarion’s company most of all, and she develops a little crush on him because he makes her laugh, and she also doesn’t realise that she has a crush on him or likes him in that way because the only thing she knows is outright devotion. love to her is something all consuming, not something that comes in quietly. she doesn’t realise she’s fond of him because she has never known such a thing before, or she finds him oddly endearing because her basis of love was her past devotion to lolth and her matriarch that bordered on obsession.

and it’s the funniest thing to me because I see him falling for her similarly too. like the thing to me is that hag romance never needed to have that fwb relationship in the first place; they inevitably will start to like each other because they simply just enjoy each other’s companionship BUT the fwb relationship is also important too since it starts when she is in her most vulnerable state (post oath-breaking), and it also allows him to be vulnerable with her too (let her read his scars).

[alltheboysandgirlsiloved]

I'm sure that many people are going to disagree with me but personally I think that post-Chaos Theory season 2 events Kenji and Brooklynn shouldn't get back together (and it's probably been a long time coming event).

And I have an explanation.

Before any of you bring out your pitch forks - yes, I admit, I was never a big fan of brookenji BUT I understand how they could have developed feelings for each other. Spending so much time together, relying on each other every day, sharing semi-similar experiences prior-Isla Nublar, not to mention simple attraction - those are all valid reasons as to why they could have fallen in love. And, hear me out, I think that their relationship worked well for as long as they tangibly experienced the aftermaths of Isla Nublar/Mantah Corp Island on the Main Land.

What do I mean by that? When you are going through an experience with someone, especially a traumatic experience, you may still kind of feel rooted in that experience even once it ends. It doesn't necessarily mean stagnation - during that time you can develop as a person, and gather new experiences, but a part of you is still living as if it expects to go back to the old ways. That means that you still follow a similar routine, cultivate the same habits, or keep up the same mindset.

However, as time progresses, you naturally move on. Kenji and Brooklynn could still have experienced some side-effects of living on dino-infected island but their minds moved on and started "settling" on the Main Land. Now that on its own - is not a problem. The problem (well, part of it) is that their threads of development started to stray apart. And I want to emphasize here - it is no one's fault, it is a natural occurrence.

By the end of jwcc S5 and in the first season of jwct, we can clearly notice how it is important for Kenji to have something (and someone) to anchor in. That is not surprising at all - he was a mostly neglected child, who saw a hero in his father but who found a real family in his friends. Perhaps that was his first real experience of a family. Naturally, because of that, "family" suddenly (compared to pre-jwcc Kenji) has a whole different value for him, he starts to associate family with new things like safety, mental comfort, stability, and proximity. We see it not only in how he treats Darius in the finale of jwcc S5 but in how, despite it all, he stays in close proximity to Daniel Kon in jwct S1 - because yes, he (probably subconsciously) extended some of these new aspects of a newly discovered "family" even to Daniel. This explains even better his very emotional reaction to Daniel's death - losing a member of a family is almost like a taboo in Kenji's concept of "family". Staying alive was the top priority on Isla Nublar, being alive together was what made the Nublar 6 family real and safe.

I think, to some extent, a member of a family dying itself Kenji almost treats like an act of betrayal (remember that his mother also died when he was a child).

And now we have Brooklynn who not just dies but fakes dying. And Kenji hates deceit - especially after he was lied to by his own father - a member of his "original" family. And here we have Brooklynn - a member of the found family doing the same thing but even worse. She had her reasons, and her reasons are justified, but the justification of something isn't enough to rebuild a shattered core value / core belief for someone else. Listen, Brooklynn can be forgiven but it doesn't mean that Kenji will be able to restore what they had. Like physically and mentally it may actually be impossible for him.

Now it's time for Brooklynn's side.

Brooklynn is a very interesting character on her own because there's one thing that is unchangeable about her and it's the fact that she likes being independent. She was basically a solo internet superstar who was used to doing things on her own throughout her whole life. Now, it doesn't mean that she doesn't need friends or that she can accomplish everything on her own - no, and throughout jwcc (and I predict that jwct is going to make a point out of it too) she learns how to reach out for help and how to help others. She's a good friend - even her motivations in jwct are deeply rooted in the fact that she is just a really incredible friend. But! That is not the only catalyst for her motivations. She is also ambitious and, like I said earlier, very independent. Both of these are very strong, often dominant traits that heavily define her actions. And listen - those are also traits that for a very long time granted her success and, what's more important, self-satisfaction. To put it plainly: it makes her happy when she can solve mysteries, track suspicious leads, uncover secrets - it has always been her thing! And it obviously makes her happy to this day - maybe it's not as carefree happiness but I believe that it's just a more adult version of the same "emotional high". And not only does it make her happy - she's also incredibly good at it.

It doesn't mean that for Brooklynn the Sense of Adventure is more important than family and friends, it just means that stability is not the value she has as much space for as Kenji does. Because for Kenji, whose whole life centers around creating a solid concept of family and home, a sense of safety and stability is a key value, Brooklynn on the other side is always ready to be on the move, she anticipates dynamism from the world. And that's why Kenji, who's slower and more anxious (even if he doesn't voice it out openly!) to accept changes, doesn't quite keep up with her lifestyle.

Post leaving Isla Nublar, the campers (including Kenji and Brooklynn) started developing in new ways - they picked up new traits, gained new experiences, and started figuring out what works best for them. In my opinion, Kenji's life led him to the point where he had to quite physically sculpt his life on his own for the first time and this process takes years. It doesn't mean that he's boring or, god forbid, lazy - it means that as a person in so many ways shaped by a changing concept of family, he needs to build a house for himself - mostly metaphorically. Only recently he started rock-climbing, and found out that he loved it - that's amazing but he needed time and a proper state of mind to figure it out. We can only guess how the rest of his life unfolds but I tentatively predict that some kind of stability - being able to turn around and see the person you love always there and will always reassure you - will be a core value for him. Brooklynn, with a different personality type, clearly picked up some parts of her life that she had before Isla Nublar. She didn't have to build everything from scratch and, ergo, doesn't value the "building" itself as much as Kenji. None of them are wrong in their mindset, in what they value. But having a different mindset makes it much much harder to reach a common ground in a relationship.

And I'm temporarily putting aside that Brooklynn betrayed Kenji on so many levels and basically broke his heart - in a way, I would argue that (though I feel like she was too harsh when she was talking about it with Darius) Brooklynn could also feel as if Kenji hurt her by not giving her enough credit and space which probably was uncomfortable for her because she is, as we established, very independent. So both of them hurt each other in different aspects for sure (this post doesn't aim to put blame on any of them), but the thing is that I think they just grew up to be different people with different needs.

And that's okay.

(I'm sure some of you are going to be mad either way but I just wanted to share my point of view)

[warriorofthought]

Part 2 I did love you, always!

Summary: Bucky broke up with you but the Winter Soldier still loves you.

Word count:  2189

Warnings: sad and sentimental Feelings 

Winter Soldier x Reader

You had, with Bucky as the winter soldier controlling his body, two wonderful weeks until his mind slowly started to slip back, bit by bit into Bucky.

You and Winter didn't talk about how you both will manage it when Bucky comes out again, just ignoring it and making the best out of it. It's foolish, you both know it. 

Deep down in your heart you know you can't lose Bucky again, but you don't care in which mind you have him but to lose his individual again will shatter your heart in thousands pieces again and never will heal.

Currently you walk from the stable into the living room, carrying a few Wooden blocks to throw into the fireplace as you see Winter sitting on the sofa a bit lost in thought, his phone in his hands.

You throw the Wooden blocks in the oven and then walk closer to him. “Are you writing someone?” You ask and see him slightly flinch, which surprises you.

You look a bit more focused on him and see, in winter's eyes, that he slipped a bit back into Bucky.

“Bucky? Who did you write to?” You ask gently. 

You see him frown, then his eyes set on you. 

“Sharon.” 

You nod, swallowing hard. It's what you have expected to happen.

You watch him, and see how Bucky's eyes flicker before they are Winters again.

“I'm sorry, my love. But Bucky has written to Sharon.” 

“Don't worry, it's alright. Are you feeling good?” 

“I'm, my flower”

“Are you sure? Can I do something to help you?”  you ask concerned and pat his thigh.

Winter grabs your face, soft but firm. You grasp slightly and watch him, his eyes piece into yours with a deep frown.

“Everything is alright, Winter.” You say comforting.

The Winter Soldier relaxes his grip and kisses your forehead.

He is silent for a moment, just holding you. But then he whispers.

“I know you are right, but somehow that makes everything tougher… Sharon loves the real Bucky. But you actually love me, the other side of him and him, you love us both equally.”

“I know, don't break your head with this thought alright, I will love you, no matter what happens.” You promise him.

“Just let us enjoy our time, hmm?” 

You see Winter nod gentle at you.

You grab his hands and walk over with him to the sofa, there you put on the tv. It's Winter's favorite show, you let it play.

In the meantime you watch Winter, his features. You still see the emotion from the killer machine that Hydra produced, but he is surprisingly soft in everything he does as long as you are present.

But then you also see how Bucky starts to appear slowly more often. His eyes start to lose the Winter Soldier touch.

Then one night without your knowledge as you sleep, Bucky writes Sharon.

Bucky sat at the kitchen table, the glow of his phone illuminating the room in the quiet of the night. The message to Sharon was crafted with care, each word heavy with the weight of his decision. He glanced over at you, asleep on the bed, your face peaceful in the dim light. You were everything to him, the anchor that kept him grounded. Yet, here he was, pretending to love Sharon, a facade he had built out of fear and confusion.

His relationship with Sharon was a facade, a fragile construct built on lies and deceit. She was ambitious and driven, but her love for him was shallow, lacking the depth and understanding he found with you. He knew he had to end things with Sharon before the charade became unbearable, but the thought of hurting you in the process filled him with guilt.

Then he start writing:

Sharon,

I can't keep living this lie. I'm leaving. I'm sorry.

Bucky

The message to Sharon was written, and his thumb hovered over the send button. It felt like he was about to detonate a bomb.

Then he hit send. It feels so heavy.

He set his phone down, his hands trembling as he fought back tears. He couldn't bear to face your disappointment, but he knew he couldn't stay here any longer. He quietly gathered his belongings and slipped out of the farmhouse, the night swallowing him whole.

The next morning, you woke to find Bucky's side of the bed empty and his belongings gone. Confusion and fear gripped your heart as you searched the house for any sign of him. 

“Winter?!”

“Winter, come on, where are you?” you still don't hear anything.

“Bucky? Bucky, are you here?” but still you get no answers.

When you found nothing, you reached for your phone, your hands shaking as you dialed his number.

But there was no answer and your heart sank. You knew then that he was gone, leaving behind nothing but unanswered questions and broken promises.

As the sun rose, casting a warm glow over the farm, you stood alone on the porch, your heart heavy with grief. Bucky had vanished without a word, leaving you to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart alone.

The sound of a car approaching broke the silence, and she turned to see Sharon stepping out, her expression a mixture of confusion and anger."Where's Bucky?" Sharon demanded, her voice sharp. You met her gaze, your eyes filled with sadness. "He's gone, Sharon. He left last night."Sharon's face twisted in disbelief. "Gone? What do you mean, gone? He sent me a message to come here."

Your heart ached as you watched Sharon read the message on her phone. You knew the pain and confusion you felt mirrored Sharon's own emotions. Bucky had left them both behind, with nothing but his lies and deception to show for it. 

“That coward," Sharon spat. "He ran away and left you to deal with this? Typical."

You stand your ground. 

"He was scared, Sharon. He made a mistake. We all did."

Sharon's eyes blazed with anger. 

"Don’t try to justify his actions. You knew about us and still kept seeing him."

You feel a pang of guilt but you keep your  voice calm. “Sharon, Bucky is in a conflict with himself, the winter soldier is still fighting to stay.” Sharon scoffed, shaking her head. She doesn't listen. "You’re pathetic. Both of you." 

With that, Sharon stormed back to her car and drove away, you felt a profound sense of loss wash over you.

You watch as the car disappeared down the road and step inside the farmhouse again with a heavy sigh.

Bucky Barnes stood in the middle of an icy, snow-covered field, the frosty air biting into his skin. The winter sun cast long shadows, and the quiet was almost eerie. In his mind, a battle raged between the memories of his past and the life he was trying to build.

Suddenly, the silence was shattered by the appearance of a figure he knew all too well: the Winter Soldier.

It was like looking into a twisted mirror, seeing himself in the cold, unfeeling eyes of the assassin he once was. 

The Winter Soldier stood still, his expressionless face partially hidden by a black mask, his metal arm glinting in the dim light.

"You can't run from me, Bucky," the Winter Soldier said, his voice a mechanical growl.

"You think you can hide behind new memories, but I am always a part of you."

Bucky clenched his fists, feeling the weight of his past pressing down on him. "I'm not you anymore," he replied, his voice firm but strained. "I've changed."

The Winter Soldier smirked, a chilling sight. "You think you've found love with Sharon, but you're lying to yourself. You know who your heart truly belongs to."

Bucky's mind flashed to memories of you, the woman who had been a beacon of warmth in his life after he was freed from Hydra's control. Your smile, your laugh, the way you made him feel like he could be more than just a weapon. But then there was Sharon, dependable and strong, someone who understood the world of espionage and danger.

"You don't know anything about love," Bucky spat back. "You're just a ghost."

 "You can't hide from me, Bucky. You can't hide from what you really want." Bucky squared his shoulders, trying to steady his racing heart. "I won't let you control me anymore," he replied, his voice resolute. "I'm not the Winter Soldier."

The Winter Soldier's lips curled into a mocking smile. "You're right. You're not me. But you can't deny the truth. You can't deny who you truly love.”

Bucky's mind flashed to memories of you, the warmth of your smile, the gentleness of your touch. But there was also Sharon, strong and dependable.

He had tried to convince himself that being with her was the right choice, the safe choice. Yet, the Winter Soldier's words cut through his defenses.

"I care about Sharon," Bucky insisted, but even as he spoke, doubt clouded his mind. The Winter Soldier took a step closer, his gaze piercing. "But you love y/n. You know it. I know it. You're just too afraid to admit it.”

Bucky felt a surge of anger and confusion. "Why do you care? You're just a remnant of my past. You don't know anything about love."

The Winter Soldier's expression softened slightly, a rare hint of emotion breaking through. "Because I'm a part of you, Bucky. I know everything you feel, even the things you try to bury. You can't run from yourself."

Bucky clenched his fists, the internal struggle tearing him apart. 

"I don't want to hurt Sharon. She's been through enough."

The Winter Soldier shook his head. 

"You don't have to hurt her, but you have to be honest. With her, with y/n, and with yourself. You owe them that."

Bucky's resolve wavered, memories of you flooding his mind. He remembered how you made him feel alive, how your presence had brought him peace in the chaos of his past. He had been trying to build a new life, but it was a life without the one person who truly made him whole.

"How do I do it?" Bucky asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "How do I make things right?"

The Winter Soldier stepped back, his mission complete. "You start by being honest. Go to y/n. Tell her how you feel. Fight for her. You have to be willing to face the pain to find the happiness you deserve. Then we can be one and live happy."

Bucky watched as the Winter Soldier faded into the snowy landscape, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Leaving the snowy landscape behind, Bucky set off on a journey that was both literal and emotional.

He traveled across snowy landscapes and through bustling cities, driven by the hope of making things right. 

When he finally reached your doorstep again after he was on the farm where he left you behind and didn't find you there, his heart pounded in his chest.

He knocked and after a few moments, the door opened. You stood there, your eyes widening in surprise and uncertainty. "Bucky? What are you doing here?”

"I came to see you," Bucky said, his voice shaking with emotion. "I need to tell you the truth. I made a mistake, y/n. I thought being with Sharon was the right thing to do, but it was a lie. I love you. I never stopped loving you.”

Your eyes filled with tears, but you didn't move. "Bucky, you hurt me. You broke up with me, without a good reason. Then as you fall back into the winter Soldier mode, you suddenly remember me?" 

"I know," Bucky said, stepping closer. "And I'm so sorry. I was scared, confused. But I can't hide from my feelings anymore. You mean everything to me, y/n. Please, give me another chance to prove it."

For a long moment, you just look at him, your expression unreadable, even a bit disappointed. Then, slowly, you nodded. "It's not going to be easy, Bucky. You've hurt me deeply."

"I know," Bucky said, his voice filled with determination. "But I'm willing to fight for us. I'll do whatever it takes."

You took a deep breath, your eyes searching his. Finally, you stepped aside, letting him into your home and, tentatively, back into her heart. 

“That is your last chance, Bucky. You can be lucky, I love you.”

“I promise, to do everything, you earn your trust. I love you too, so so much.”

It was the beginning of a new journey for both of them, one that would require patience, trust, and a lot of healing. But Bucky was ready to face it, knowing that this time, he was fighting for the right reasons. And as they sat together, the warmth of the fire contrasting with the cold outside, Bucky felt a sense of peace. He was no longer running from his past. He was embracing it, using it to build a better future. For himself, and for the woman he loved.

[theflyindutchwoman]

I get it, all right? You're invested in a certain answer because it makes for a better documentary. But we are not Jake and Sava, okay? I mean, they -- they are criminals whose lives were based on deceit. O-Of course that duplicity infected their relationship. But… we are in a very different place. Mm-hmm. And what place is that? If you don't know, then you haven't been paying attention. I mean… Okay. So, a place of honesty, respect, love. Yeah. I mean, those are -- those are good words. Yeah.

| ANATOMY OF A SCENE - CHENFORD EDITION 5.18 - Double Trouble

Separating Tim and Lucy for the documentary, before reuniting them at the end, in her home, was a really great move. And so symbolic as well, since they're talking about their doppelgängers and their own relationship in the very same place where it truly started… so close to where they actually first kissed… for the undercover mission that sparked the interest for this documentary. It's a perfect little nod. And as much as I missed their usual banter, it was such a gripping way of showing us how much they ground each other.

Lucy, who used to be so enthusiastic in the previous editions, was suddenly nervous when she found out that not only she was going to be the subject of the documentary but also Tim wouldn't be there with her… Once the cameras were rolling, she looked like her usual self, if a bit more subdued. As for Tim, he was back to being his grumpy and intimidating self in her absence. There was no Lucy to counterbalance him or to smooth over the rough edges. But the moment they are back together, in her apartment, they clearly have found their balance again. She is glowing and relaxed… And when he gets seriously offended by all the insinuations and ready to throw the crew out, all it takes is her touch to calm him down. And I'm just living for all these moments that can disclose their closeness… And protectiveness. Over each other and their relationship. It really underlines how they ground each other : Tim's presence boosts her confidence and Lucy's calms him. It is all in the little moments : how Lucy is trying not to laugh every time Tim refuses to acknowledge his uncanny resemblance to Jake (physically), how she is looking at him fondly when he is defending them and their relationship, how they keep glancing at each other, for comfort and to make sure they are on the same page.

And while the director of the documentary kept implying that Sava & Jake's relationship was a foreshadowing to what could happen to them, it also served to emphasise the differences. In the end, Sava and Jake's relationship was built on lies and deceit. On the other hand, Tim and Lucy have built their relationship on stronger foundations. It's not perfect and it surely has its own fair share of cracks. But it's based on mutual respect and love and they know what they have is precious… and this scene highlights how solid they already are, despite everything. It was interesting to have Tim defend their relationship here after all the implications of lies and secrets as well : this happens right after he found out about her five-player trade to get him into Metro - which was even referenced in the episode. Something quite important in light of the upcoming arc with UC and Isabel's return that explained why he is so sensitive towards secrets and lies (besides the obvious reason, of course). Even his remark 'You're invested in a certain answer because it makes for a better documentary' feels very meta-ish.

His little smile when he says that they're in a very different place… Lucy's face when the director asks her what place is that, almost offended that he has to ask… Tim getting seriously worked up before her touch calms him and grounds him… Such a nice callback to all the times they've done this for the other. Like during that same undercover mission they are talking about, when he grabbed her hand in the private jet. And I love how confident and self-assured she is in their relationship. It is so beautiful to see, for someone who used to be so scared of commitment. Who was afraid of taking that leap in the first place. And the way she glances at his lips when she says they're in a really beautiful place… How he unceremoniously stops the interview, with Lucy chuckling… His little sigh when they're removing their mics… the boy couldn't be more relieved to be done with this. And Lucy leading him away… So protective. And so domestic. And all these little moments serve to showcase the complicity, the trust and shorthand that Sava and Jake never had.

[iguessitsjustme]

Jack o' Frost Ep 3 & 4 Thoughts

See the thing is. I am not happy about the amnesia. I am not happy about the lies. But I gotta know how this plays out. So I still got my snacks and I am going to just dive in to episode 3 and pray that this show can handle this well or I’ll simply cry. Anygay. Time for episode 3 of amnesia boy and his lying ex:

The music in this episode is astounding. Truly. Starts so strong I love it.

Literally all of the flashbacks we’re shown makes me think Ritsu was fine. He was just busy. And Mr. Lyingface felt neglected but never said anything about it because Ritsu was supposed to magically know? Now he’s happy Ritsu is giving him his full attention again but that cannot and will not last. He needs to be able to say things. Start by telling Ritsu the truth about your relationship and go from there. No good relationship can be built on lies and deceit. Well not between the people involved in the relationship. Conspiring together is fine though. Lie to the world if you must. But never lie to each other.

Did he leave the fire unattended to go get Ritsu? He’s on my shitlist for sure.

Oh I didn’t have much to say. I’m just so angry at the lies. Or I guess the refusing to tell Ritsu anything.

I need a break. I’m gonna go get coffee I think. I need coffee before I start episode 4. That will save this show definitely.

COFFEE ACQUIRED and I only got leered at by one old man. I’m choosing to believe it’s because my hair is so spectacular in its subtle purpleness

Also before I start episode four I need to say that Scheherezade came on shuffle as I was walking home from the cafe and I never talk about it but I need it noted SOMEWHERE that I LOVE this piece. It is up there with some of my favorite music of all time. If you never listen to any other song I talk about, please listen to this one.

Okay. Starting episode four now. In a much better and more forgiving mood cause I have coffee and flatbread from the cafe

I need to stop talking about Not The Show but my god why does every car that stops outside my apartment have squeaky breaks? And now also sirens? The sirens in my city are…none sound the same but some sound like cats.

Real tired of Ritsu clearly falling in love with Mr. Lyingface again and Mr. Lyingface not telling him anything. Just fucking..say you were dating. You can even wait to mention the breakup. But at this point it’s just hurtful to not tell Ritsu anything. Like it’s hurtful to begin with but now that he likes you a second time, it’s just cruel to keep it from him.

Their little domesticity at the beginning here would be so cute if it wasn’t BUILT ON LIES. Sorry I’m sorry. I’m done screaming *rages at the wall and chews on my blinds like a feral little rabbit*

As it turns out the coffee did not put me in a better mood. Or it did but it didn’t help this show at all. Oh well.

God this music is gorgeous though. The best use of strings.

Now who is this dude?

Tomoko is gorgeous and her boyfriend better fucking appreciate her. Look at her all dressed up.

Me: Why are you jealous. WHY ARE YOU JEALOUS. You haven-MMMMMM. Oh wait I should be typing. I’m liveblogging right. No one can hear me say these things. I must type them. BUT WHY ARE YOU JEALOUS. HE DOESN’T KNOW YOU WERE TOGETHER. I need some water or something I need to calm down.

“You knew I liked guys?” HE SURE DID HONEY. YOU TWO HAVE FUCKED BEFORE. HE’S JUST HIDING IT *gnaws on some olives*

I BEG your finest pardon. What the fuck is this shit. Go eat some rocks or something.

At least he apologized but my god what WAS that?

Of course he didn’t make sure Ritsu could actually hear his apology. He will somehow make that Ritsu’s fault. I can just tell.

Whelp. That’s episode 4 done. I cannot say I’m enjoying this show but damn is it pretty. The music and the camera work. I hate everything about the plot but the visual and auditory elements are good at least.

[always-coffee]

The Kind That Might Drown a Man

I have a piece of art that I love. It’s a siren, clearing drowning a man. It was painted by an artist who I considered a friend, who I spoke to nearly every day for three years. He used a rather artsy photo I had taken as a reference photo, with permission. (If we are mutuals, you may ask to see it.)

I was elated when he wanted to use my photo, to make art out of a piece of art (photos are art) I was proud of. I said yes, immediately. He was going to do a series of mythological characters, and I'd be the perfect siren.

When he showed me a photo of the finished piece and also when he posted it, I was happy. Then, he sent the original painting to me as a gift. I was over the moon. It felt cool. I felt cool. Seen, valued. It did something to combat an old wound of mine.

In the past, artists—people who I thought were friends, but who were only ever actually interested in getting into my pants (nooooope)—had asked to paint me. Reference photos were even sent. But the interest quickly fizzled when they realized that what was on offer was only friendship. It wasn't good enough, so those connections faded like sun-seared fog. No one is required to make art of someone, but when something flattering turns out to be wildly disappointing it is, at best, weird. At worst, it’s dehumanizing.

But back to the point: my friend made gorgeous art out of a photo I dearly loved of myself. It felt good, and I felt special. Fast-forward to years later, and I have severed that friendship. It turns out that, despite all the conversation and all the camaraderie and even the co-working we did together, he was a liar.

There were things he casually and purposefully lied about for no discernible reason. And when I discovered the truth, it gutted me. It felt worse than a romantic breakup in a lot of ways. I don’t like being lied to. At all. Tell me the awful truth, and I’ll deal with it. But purposefully, repeatedly, and knowingly abuse my trust? Absolutely unforgiveable.

I’ve spoken elsewhere on the internet about the details of the lies—the utter pointlessness of them. (Imagine, for instance, lying about who redid the landscaping in your backyard.) It was during the pandemic where we began talking in earnest, having entered each other’s orbit through a mutual friend in the art world. He seemed safe. We shared good news with each other, vented about the insanity of the world, swapped cute animal photos and funny memes. But the context of it all was impossibly and completely different than what I was told. The curated image I was given was a lie. Things were deliberately kept from me, information was twisted and distorted—and the kicker was that he lied to other people about me.

Again, for no reason. We’d done professional work together, and it was very public! And very fun at the time. But he apparently claimed we weren’t friends. The moment things started to feel wrong between us was easy to brush aside. Easy to explain away. Easy to understand. He was stressed, job hunting. I was dealing with myriad stresses of my own. No relationship is unmarred by life’s more than occasional weirdness. It’s easy to shrug things off. To ascribe to something banal, innocent.

Then, the truth came out. And honestly, I’m still sifting through the ramifications. The ways the deceit stuns me, even now, not just in the moment. How it felt peculiar to suddenly and wildly not know someone.

In the moment, I took the piece down. I put it away. I didn’t want to look at it. I couldn’t. It was too big of a reminder. It felt like mockery. Because what was it all about? What was the point of any of it? (These are questions that will never have answers.) I was—and still am—angry. Angry at the broken trust. The carelessness of it all. The cruelty too, so unnecessary in its articulations.

But what do I do with the art? Initially, I thought I’d burn it dramatically like Sylvia Plath and the letters. Or chuck it in the trash, as symbolic gesture of getting rid of it all, of closure. (Because there is none of that here, and that is fine. I do not want it. Nothing said could fix or mend or ease.) Getting rid of it, however, feels wrong.

It’s still beautiful. It’s still art. It’s still me.

But for now, it won’t hang where I can see it. It will not be a reminder of heartbreak and betrayal. It will not sit a monument to a lost friend, who was such a small, sad creature in the end. Because to act with such malice—and there was malice in the threads of it—is not the act of a kind or good heart. And I do not have space in my life for anything other than warmth and genuineness.

Someday—I don’t know when—I’ll put it out of the dark and either hang it up or give it away. Someday, maybe someone I love will want it, and I will want to give it to them. A moment of captured beauty, the kind that might drown a man—offered with love.

I’m glad I didn’t burn it, even as I am glad to have burnt that bridge.

[scalamore]

As a reminder, Rupelali's current relationship is extremely problematic

It pains me to say it because they're just so sweet together now, but it's easy to forget that their relationship/bond was started because of lies, deceit, secrets, and hidden intentions. My thoughts: Rupert was always the one in power in their dynamic.

In Ch 32, he was amused to see her so terrified and shaking in fear in front of him, and it was easy to tell how much she hated him. Yet she kept on repeating she wanted to become his -- and as a lonely person who had nothing (no friends, no family, no allies, no one who cared about him), that was an extremely enticing answer. He had absolutely nothing of his own, but someone willingly approached him and said they wanted to become his? It's exactly what he wanted. He had absolutely nothing, but at least he could own her. He just wanted someone by his side that belonged to him, and not inherited from his mother. He wanted someone who would be loyal to him only.

At the start, he was certain that he had no need to trust her. After all, if he trusted her, he didn't have to own her. He didn't believe that she would stay because she wanted to, so he has to own her. Because he doesn't believe her, and that's ok for him. Lari's deception worked, because even if Rupert doesn't trust her, he still owns her. He laughed at how she knew nothing about who he truly was, what he was planning to do, what he wanted to do to the Empire - yet insisted she wanted to be his. He didn't care that she was useful, he just wanted SOMEONE to be his ally. She was so desperate to protect her family, that she gave up her autonomy to him, and he thought it was a good exchange: she said she would belong to him, as long as he was in power - and he had full intent to stay in power until his death. (Ch 45) Lari will always belong to him.

---

Meanwhile, because Lari had experienced loneliness, she was able to see it clearly in Rupert and take advantage of it when she offered to become his. Even though Rupert knew she was sucking up to him, and it was obvious she was using him and trying to earn his favor, he allowed it anyways, because he craved human interaction that much. Both of them knew how fake Lari was. Both knew how Lari was taking advantage of him. Over time, Rupert grew to care for Lari, and would save her from harm under the excuse that she belonged to him. Lari as well- grew to care for Rupert the more she realized he wasn't a monster. Over time, after their shared experiences, they both genuinely grew feelings for each other.... but the issue of what their relationship is, is the problem:

Rupert became too dependent on Lari as his source of comfort and reassurance. He was ok with keeping up lies and secrets in order to have her stay in the palace. He knew that he couldn't stop her if she insisted she wanted to leave the palace, so he clung to the agreement that she would stay beside him since she belonged to him. So he kept on reminding her she was his maid, she belonged to him etc - thus making Lari think that he only saw her as something he owned, rather than her as a person (while he totally saw her a person this whole time). He trusted her, but was ok if she didn't completely trust him. It's ok if she betrayed him, he'll just get her back somehow. It's ok if she continues to lie to him, he'll accept those lies. If she wanted to continue to trick him, that's fine. She doesn't have to like him back. He'll willingly give her EVERYTHING. He'll do anything for her to stay by his side. --- Meanwhile, although Lari has grown and matured, and is a bit more open with Rupert and more trusting of him, she still wears a mask around him. She pretends that everything is alright. She's still hiding TL1 from him. She denies her own feelings for him. She still blindly trusts her family excessively despite her suspicions. She doesn't trust Rupert completely. All of this is because of her trauma and loneliness from TL1, and the betrayal of her friends and family during TL2.

Lari is trapped in the past, and she is unable to move on. Her time has stopped. Her own heart has been frozen since her regression. She feels guilty because of his affection. She's too scared to accept the reality that Rupert likes her. So she reasons it's not real affection, that it's because he unhealthily clings to her because he has no one else, and dismisses his feelings. She can't trust anyone anymore, and doesn't let herself trust anyone. She doesn't admit that she genuinely cares for him, because there's no way she and Rupert can be together. She think's she's not worthy of being by his side, that she's not good for him. She doesn't think she can ever separate the two ruperts. She can't move on from the fact that "Rupert" killed her, and has a chance of killing her in the future. She's too scared to accept the truth of her birth which so many characters have hinted at - she dismisses for a while. She's finally comfortable and happy at the palace with Rupert.... ignorance is bliss. She's finally able to relax and enjoy life... she's ok with living life with her mask on forever, keeping secrets, and keeping the status quo with Rupert as her master, and her as his maid. -- Overall, their relationship is extremely messy. Both sides have issues that they need to work on. Rupert needs to choose for himself what he wants to do as Emperor, and what Lari means to him.

Lari needs to move on from TL1

Most of the story was already spent on Lari helping Rupert heal from his trauma, so it's time for Rupert to do the same for Lari. He has to choose if he wants to approach her again (despite her begging him to forget her), and be the one to help her finally move on from her trauma of TL1, and to give meaning to HER life now. Because for them to be a couple, the two have to stop with the lies, take off their masks, and rely on each other as equals. It's no longer a relationship of master and maid, of victim and murderer, but now of "Rupert and Lari". It'll be one with mutual trust and open communication and for acceptance of the other - of both their good and bad points. No more lies, and no more secrets.

[brickellbabe]

Why are people single?

That is the million dollar question that is on everyone's mind. 

It’s hard not to notice that people are not getting married, there are more situationships than there are relationships, the divorce rate is at an all-time high, we hear cheating rumors every other day, and sugar daddy dating is not helping the cause in any way. 

Where is the love? Are people convinced that love is dead? And when did people stop believing in love? How did we become so disconnected? It’s really sad. 

I am bringing this up because THIS is a huge problem for humanity - it’s MAJOR.

If we keep going down this route of people using each other, manipulation, lies, deceit, and dishonor, then what are we teaching our generations to come? If we don’t face this problem NOW and do something about it, the toxic cycle will continue and we will keep suffering by making the same relationship mistakes over and over again. Not only that, our children will face broken homes and develop their own sets of issues so the cycle will keep repeating itself.

Now how is that fair for anyone? It’s not.

And, how are people single?

There are a few reasons that come to mind…

Social pressure to start a family which then created a broken home.

Choosing the “wrong” person over and over again. 

Settling because everything looks good on paper but not in reality. 

Commitment issues also known as the “grass is greener” mentality. 

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. It’s time to stop blaming “them” and start realizing it’s YOU!

You are the cause and the effect in your life - no one else, but you.

Now ask yourself, what type of a person do you keep attracting?

I’ll tell you, you are attracting yourself. You attract who YOU are, meaning the traits that you have within yourself. I know that might sound a bit confusing so I will share an example with you so it paints a picture. 

BUT, first and foremost, I want to remind you that when you meet someone, you have a distorted vision of who they are. You don’t know them yet. All you know is what they look like, what they say, how they act, and then you create an idea of who you THINK they are. That’s why they say, never rush into anything quickly. A snake sheds its skin once a month. The longer you stay with someone, the more layers they will show you as time goes on and then you will find out who they truly are. Patience is the key here, something I did not have with my examples. 

#1 - The New York Vegan

I dated a guy who was controlling, possessed anger issues, had low self-esteem, and many emotional insecurities.

Guess what, looking back at it, so did I. Case and point. I attracted him to me because he was me. I was him. 

Now let me get deeper and really blow your mind with this…

You dislike things about others because you dislike those things about yourself. 

That statement shook me to the core and I am going to share an example of what that looks like.

#2 - The Chicago Bean 

I dated a guy and after two months I couldn't stand that he was goofy, did these stupid facial expressions, was unmotivated, and ate subpar food with no drive to have luxury in his life.

Guess what, I didn’t like that I was goofy. I didn’t like my own facial expressions. I didn’t like that I had become lazy. I didn’t like that I wasn’t successful enough to support the luxury lifestyle that I wanted which included fine dining and yachts. 

You see…

The world is a mirror image of you. 

You attract what you put out. 

You get what you think you deserve. 

So, if you want someone like this, then you need to become this:

Confident

Healthy

Fit

Successful

Loyal

Loving

Trustworthy

Funny

Calm and collected

Understanding 

Generous 

Thoughtful

Kind

Educated

Ambitious 

Intimate 

Powerful

I hope at this point your wheels are turning. 

So, why do people stay single?

Let's acknowledge that the REAL problem is that people are disconnected with who they are, chasing what they want, when what they want is actually what they need to fix within themselves. 

Point blank, people are not SELF-AWARE.

And the reason people are not “self-aware” is because most tend to zone out quickly when they don't understand what that actually means. Unfortunately, confusion leads to inaction. 

Well, I'm here to simplify things for you so you can be the change in this toxic cycle and spread the word so we can all become connected again as connection leads to love.

I am going to be completely transparent. The intention of this article is for you to know that humanity is in crisis and we need to come together to shift how we think so we can create lasting change for a positive future for all.

Let's start with the word that so many hear and so many don’t get or don’t want to put in the effort to research. 

Self-aware / Self-awareness - Sounds like hard work? Yes, yes it is. Self-awareness does not come easily or naturally. In fact, it is the highest crowning achievement. It is a superpower. It is a life skill that few possess. 

Now let’s break that down into two parts:

SELF is you.

AWARE is your character traits, feelings, motives, thoughts, desires. 

Let’s get into that even further…

What does it mean to be self-aware? 

It’s being true to who you are and living your authentic, genuine, original self. 

If you don’t know what that looks like in your life, then you need to do a personal audit of yourself to define who you are. 

Get uncomfortable, leave your ego at the door, and answer this.

What are your positive and negative traits? 

What things do you stand for?

What are your strongest beliefs?

How do you want to live your life?

How do you want to define yourself?

What words do you want to live by?

What are your boundaries?

Take a moment and assess yourself. Get self-aware with who you are so don’t keep repeating the cycle and never truly getting everything that you want. 

Time is precious and irreplaceable - remember this. So don’t seek validation from anyone but yourself. You do not need to fight for people to stay in your life. If they don't see your value, then you should deny their access to you and your time. 

You are enough and you need to be so confident in yourself and who you are.You shouldnt have to defend yourself, ever, to anyone. 

When people finally have that breaking point, and I hope they will, then they can FINALLY make the decision to fully commit to transforming themselves by getting self-aware. Until that happens they will never truly get that love that they have always wanted and deserve. 

That’s why people are single. 

Mariana Weber

[aliceward]

What Does it Mean to Dream About Corruption

What Does it Mean to Dream About Corruption?

Corruption can take many forms, but some are easier to recognize than others. If you dream about corruption, your subconscious might be trying to make a specific point or statement.

Corruption is an issue that takes many different shapes and forms - it’s not always easy for someone outside of the process (or without personal involvement) to see what’s going on with all the specifics involved in each case. However, if there was something significant happening in dreams related to corruption, then these were likely very detailed scenes that could help people figure out their inner thoughts and feelings towards such issues more completely/thoroughly by providing them with clues as well as opportunities for contemplation/reflection.

What Does it Mean to Dream About Corruption

Do you often have dreams about being corrupt? Chances are, it’s because there was deceit within your life recently. Perhaps someone betrayed or deceived you in some way. Alternatively, maybe this deception has led to feelings of guilt or betrayal on your part towards others around you; perhaps these people feel like they don’t trust the ones closest to them anymore- including themselves! Lastly, corruption could represent how much suspicion and judgment is directed at us by other people - we may doubt our actions (or lack thereof) for fear that everyone else will judge us harshly if found out.

Because of your dream, you may have experienced something similar to the following

I have been affected by corruption in many ways. I’ve witnessed government officials being corrupt and cruel, as well as police officers taking bribes from criminals for their benefit. In my life, someone very close to me was corrupted because a bad person influenced them; they changed so much that it hurt our family bond tremendously - we couldn’t trust each other anymore after all the lies were told between us unknowingly at first. It is because of this experience with real-life consequences, that watching movies about political or corporate corruption doesn’t scare me too much since things like these do happen around you even if you’re not aware of what is going on right next door!

Positive changes are afoot if

You apologized for your past corruption and told the truth. The person you were corrupt with was someone you do not keep in contact with, so it’s unclear what consequences may come of this confession. You felt better about yourself after confessing to your wrongdoings because they no longer bother you as much anymore.

Detailed dream interpretation

If you witnessed corruption in your dream but took no part in it, then there might be a lot of deception going on with people around you. You may have been misled before, which makes the matter even worse because now you are not sure who to trust or believe anymore.

If you witnessed corruption in your dream but took no part in it, then there might be a lot of deception going on with people around you. You may have been misled before, which makes the matter even worse because now you are not sure who to trust or believe anymore.

If you admitted to corruption or apologized for corrupting someone, then there’s a good chance that you’re desperate and wish that you could start over. There may not be any way of getting back what was lost - but try doing something nice instead! If the dream involved fixing things up again, then accepting your mistakes is easier said than done; however, if it happens in real life, don’t give up hope because maybe someday they will forgive us too.

If the dream had anything to do with moral corruption, you have been emotionally hurt or deceived by others. Someone has made you feel as if you are undeserving of more meaningful relationships in your life. You may also be unsure about some recent immoral decisions made on your behalf without being asked first for input/opinion.

If the dream involved corruption in your spiritual life, you question whether this is truly what’s right for you. You don’t believe that everyone around you has good intentions. It makes sense to be cautious of these relationships because they might negatively impact how I see myself spiritually.

If the dream included corrupt businesses/corporations taking advantage of me, then something about my relationship with them isn’t sitting well with me - maybe there was an argument at work which caused some resentment between us? Whatever happened must have been very serious if it left such a strong mark on our working future together!

If you dream of being a victim of police or political corruption, your subconscious lets you know that it does not feel safe. In this instance, the people who we are supposed to trust most prove themselves untrustworthy. However, it could refer to many things in life and the solution may be as simple as purchasing a security alarm.

This dream is in association with the following scenarios in your life

Love and relationships, what you think of government, dealing with emotions, guilt or deception, your ability to control others.

People often face many difficult decisions in life ranging from loving another person but not liking their actions (i.e., lying), the way they feel about certain issues like politics (i.e., enemies), how one deals with feelings that may be negative such as anger or sadness (i.e., controlling oneself) - all these different things affect our lives every day whether we’re aware of it or not!

Feelings that you may have encountered during a dream of corruption

The past, present, and future me are all looking at the current situation in my life. The corruptness of it makes them feel tainted. They can see how controlled I am by what is happening around me when they look back on their memories to find out why this happened in my life now. Controlling people have made decisions for others without consulting them. After all, someone else wants a certain thing too badly, which has created empty promises that make everyone resentful towards each other right now but also guilty about things we did wrong or deceived into thinking something was going to happen, only to be let down later on because no one cares anymore except themselves!

[fallinfl0wers]

love stories with some genshin boys i thought of while listening to my playlists

includes: aether (210 words), xiao (261 words), scaramouche (277 words) and albedo (307)

warnings (?): spoilers of ‘we will be reunited’, english is not my native language and uhh idk what else, idk really know what these are, headcanons ?? snippets ?? also not beta read and not edited.

it’s long so uhhh i’ll add a cut somewhere

anyway enjoy!! ...whatever this is i guess

Aether

Falling in love with Aether is like a fun adventure. He, being always the center of attention and the protagonist no matter where he goes, is a free spirited, kind and hardworking man. 

Throughout your time travelling and being in a relationship together, you’ll find that your relationship with the Honorary Knight is one of sweet kisses under the sunlight; innocent handholding while thinking up of what to make for dinner tonight; of easily talked out arguments and finding ways to compromise; of softly pushing each other to become a better version of themselves and, most of all, of supporting and having each other’s backs no matter what.

And when Aether confronts the Abyss Princess face to face for the first time and his world comes crashing down on him, this trait of your relationship shines like no other, as you hold him in your arms after everything was over during the night, Paimon sleeping soundly next to the both of you inside your improvised campsite.

“Even though I’m not sure what -or who- I should believe anymore, I... I know I want to see this journey to the end, and I want you to be there with me for it. Let’s be together until the last moment and beyond.”

Songs:

Snow Fairy - Funkist

Snowing, be honest with yourself and smile When two people are getting closer, time overlaps Fairy, where are you going I will gather all the light and shine it on your tomorrow

Still Lonely - SEVENTEEN

This cursed popularity. Why won’t it leave me? But why am I getting lonelier The early morning chill makes me feel Even lonelier today I feel completely empty, as if I’m empty

Kanpeki Gu~ no ne - Watarirouka Hashiritai

I'm at a loss for words, with this and that, I'm totally in love with you Someday, I want do the same to you: Watch you flounder, At a loss for words right back to me!

Side by Side - The8 from SEVENTEEN

I want to hold hands with you but I don't know what to do what to do oh baby I want to give all my heart to you but You still don't know what's in my heart

Hope - Namie Amuro

At the end of this blue, wide world there's a place I want to aim at with you We chose this long ago for eternity

Xiao

Falling in love with Xiao is like living a bittersweet dream. The Vigilant Yaksha is far from human, or so he says, and thus is out of touch with the way we mortals experience feelings, both the negative and positive ones.

Your relationship with him is one of compassion, mutual understanding, appreciation and patience. So, so much patience. Of intertwined pinkies and soft stolen glances, of shy smiles and comfortable silence sometimes filled with your voice chatting time away and his short responses to your talks.

I mentioned patience. He knows you’re making an enormous effort to try and understand him and be patient with him and his slow learning process of how relationships work, so it’s only fair that he makes a true effort to understand you and your feelings.

Xiao is well aware that he could hurt you without wanting to, be it with his blunt phrasing of his thoughts or his Karmic Debt, as much as he is aware that you will eventually pass away and leave him behind to go somewhere he can’t follow, and that undeniable truth haunts him every second of every day he gets to spend with you. And still, he wishes and wants and does cherish each and every warm, kind feeling he gets every single second you’re together nonetheless.

“I might not know what to make of these new feelings you gave me. But I’ll learn. I promise I’ll learn, so please... don’t go, not yet. Let me treasure you and carve you into my memory for as long as I can.”

Songs:

Euphoria - BTS

I don't know what this emotion is Perhaps this is also the inside of a dream A dream is the blue mirage of the desert Deep inside of me, a priori I become happy to the point of being unable to breathe The surroundings, bit by bit, become clearer

Fallin’ Flower - SEVENTEEN

While flower blooms and falls, scars cure and buds shoot We are living our first and last moment So I won’t take you for granted Because you loved me as I am

Fear - SEVENTEEN

Get out my mind I can't handle it, I'm afraid of myself The truth has me tied up My heart is tainted I'm afraid it'll eventually change you too

The Truth Untold - BTS, Steve Aoki

It’s my fate Don’t smile to me Light on me Because I can’t get closer to you There’s no name you can call me

You know that I can’t Show you me Give you me I can’t show you a ruined part of myself Once again I put a mask on and go to see you But I still want you

Tiny Light - Akari Kitō

Because you colored my unchanging monochromatic days Even the blurred darkness gained meaning

Still, hidden in this heart, these feelings of preciousness so strong that they hurt I just want to convey these feelings to only you before they disappear someday

Scaramouche

Falling in love with Scaramouche is like constantly playing a game. He’s strict, demanding, disagreeable, and widely disliked by enemies and allies alike. Still, he has a heart too; and he holds desires and hopes deep inside of it, although most of them are fueled by the unchanging curiosity he has towards the world around him, curiosity to know what he can get out of whatever the world wants to throw at him.

You were no exception to that rule, at first.

When he met you he wanted to get something from you. And you knew it from the start, just as he knew that you knew. And that didn’t change anything, at first.

Your relationship with him is one of dangerously playful, yet still light-hearted games of seduction, teasing and deceit; of secret kisses exchanged in expensive private rooms in restaurants or the cozy warmth of your home, of an unspoken shared respect and, most of all, complete, mutual devotion.

You know Scaramouche is not a good man. He has done many, many unspeakable things in his life as one of the Eleven, and he knows he’s far from being the perfect charming prince you could aim for, but he will never let you go. Because behind those hardened walls of egocentrism and pride, you saw what no one else bothered to see. You saw him, not the role he was playing, you saw him and fell in love with him.

“To be honest, I don’t think I could find anyone else who understands me as much as you do. And no, I’m not saying this because I want something, give me some more credit, geez...”

Songs:

soldier game -  µ’s

You'll come with me, yes? You've grown curious about my touch, yes? Then it's already love Since you're someone I must meet in battle someday, That might just be your reason It's soldier game Though we've met again, I'm soldier heart

Kowareyasuki - Guilty Kiss

Just stop it already and show your heart only to me I love your eyes that are about to cry And your defenseless, clumsy way of living too (...) The hesitation you convey makes my chest hurt Some people just don't know what such kindness is But then I discover the truth When we got together, you don't have to endure anymore Right now, show your grief only to me I like that you think too much The complete opposite of me

Shhh - SEVENTEEN

Don't think of all these as your mere illusion They're not lies that follow the moment No one can underestimate it, my feelings are an ignition 'Cause I'm always the same Me and you, we got hurt by the lies that we won't ever work But it's fate

(...)

So I can cover you from danger A consented dedication

(...)

It's as natural as breathing An everlasting dedication

Good to me - SEVENTEEN

Yeah, when you were making that sign in my heart It was a long time since my firewall broke down Pass with the password What in the world do you know about me? Are my deep feelings seen by you?

Hiraishin - Keyakizaka46

(To trust is to be betrayed, to open one’s heart is to get hurt So to avoid being struck by lightning-like sorrow…)

Which side am I picking? Ah, these values are hard to handle That’s why I won’t stop watching over you Positive positive positive You should just be yourself… I can forgive whatever absurdities you pull off I’ll support you without being noticed Even when you get nitpicked I’ll be your companion Let us now promise to live an unremarkable life hereafter What we have here is the lightning rod of love

Albedo

Falling in love with Albedo is a fairy tale-like experience for both of you. His attention had always been focused on his research, everything else fading into the background save for a few exceptions, until you came around. You, who stole all his attention by just existing. 

As an alchemist, he’s naturally the curious type. He wanted to know what about it had caught his attention, what was so special about you that had him clinging to your every word and movement every time you interacted with him. Still, human relationships are hard for him, and he figured you might go away the second he started to feel burnt out from your interactions. But you didn’t. Instead, you stayed. You stayed and took interest on what he did, asked questions, gave your insight, and dragged him to sleep when he needed a break. In exchange, he did the same for you.

Your relationship with Albedo is like one of those awkwardly sweet first time crushes. Of carefully calculated movements, dates and compliments, of soft kisses on lips, hands and cheeks, of mutual support, understanding and mature compromising and commitment.

The Kreideprinz, like everyone else, has his own fears and insecurities, especially regarding his... nature, but he does his best not to let them affect the relationship he has with you. Each moment spent by your side, even when he’s not actively doing any research, is considered perfectly spent, meaningful time.

“A long time ago, I was tasked with finding out the meaning of this world. Though I have directed my efforts and resources to looking for the answer through alchemy, ever since we met I... think, I’ve found an unexpected conclusion to said issue. While it’s likely that this is not the answer expected from me, I’m positive that, at least personally, I finally have the answer.”

Songs:

Futari Saison - Keyakizaka46

In the wind blowing through the city’s streets, even though I caught whiff of something’s scent, I had no interest in looking back

In a 1m radius around me, I formed an invisible barrier to another world And yet, you took someone like me out of it

What made you do that?

Home - SEVENTEEN

What can I do? Without you I’m just an old robot, my heart stops and it’s always cold What can we do? Without me You’ll struggle just as much, so what can we do?

Baby, I want to cherish our warmth So no one can come between us

Flower - SEVENTEEN

You taught me, you showed me You’re my only reason If you can forever remember me I can get hurt, I can get hurt

My heart that’s engraved with your light Makes me stronger Give me your sharp thorns Cause you’re my flower

Oh my! - SEVENTEEN

Sorry for repeating the same thing But this is all I can try using hard words But my true feeling is this, every everything

(...)

How about you? Is it hard for you to sleep because of me too? If you keep making my heart flutter What do I do?

Naze koi wo shite konakattan darou? - Sakurazaka46

Why hadn't I fallen in love? I've been making fun of it all this time I mean everyone keeps saying 'I love you' just like cats in heat But after falling in love I realized what people live for To meet, to love, to the point of nothing but... I'm not myself, I want to find my true self.

[beauty-and-passion]

A (not so) brief post about my favourite Sanders Sides ships

It all started with this ask:

I just wanted to write a short answer, I swear. Just a short answer with a tiny little explanation about why I like these ships in particular.

But then I got a bit carried away, my explanations became longer and so here I am, writing a full post.

One small clarification before starting: ships don’t have a place in my analyses. If I talk about connections between Sides, these connections are always in terms of friendships, cooperation or familial relationships. The romantic aspect is something different and I may joke about it sometimes, but it’s just a joke.

There is a time and space for romantic relationships - and it looks like that time has come. 

______________________________

Janus and Patton

I've always liked the canonical ship, in (almost) every fandom. So of course I like the canonical ship of this fandom as well :P

Jokes aside, this ship is incredibly mature, very interesting and terribly hard to talk about. The nature of these two characters, their roles and the episodes that had them involved proved how these two speak the same language, work in the same field and, ultimately, need each other.

* More similar that we think

If we look at them on a superficial level, Janus and Patton are completely opposites: one is cynical and cold, the other is a ball of sunshine. One is dark and suave, the other is goofy and bright. Janus' moral is "step on others and only care about yourself", Patton's moral is "help others because they are more important than you".

These differences became clearer over time, the more we learned about Janus and compared him with Patton. However, along these differences, some similarities started to emerge. Some qualities.

Janus and Patton want what's good for Thomas. They are humble enough to recognize their mistakes (the latest example was POF). They have a strong empathy. They’re kind. They’re mature adults (even if Patton doesn’t show it too often). And they both love and use puns.

But that’s not all. Along with these qualities, we found out that these two have similar flaws: they are both liars. They are incredibly persuasive to the point of manipulation. They have a huge influence over the mind (and the other Sides). They both deal with denial.

And this isn't just important, but it's a fundamental point for their character growth. Why? Because if they have similar flaws, if they are both liars and manipulators, then they cannot deceive each other.

And this is HUGE, especially for Patton! By his own admission, Patton lied multiple times, especially about his feelings (the Nostalgia episodes) and his thoughts (the most recent wedding/callback saga).

He always got away with it, because he was lying to other Sides and Thomas. But what would the point be, to lie to the literal embodiment of lies? Janus already knows what of his words are lies and what not, so it would be absolutely useless to do it.

Therefore, if Patton cannot lie to Janus, he cannot pretend everything is alright when it's not or hide his thoughts on a certain topic. He cannot shift the attention somewhere else or let a conversation drop. That means Patton cannot avoid confrontation about his thoughts/feelings and oh boy if he really needs to talk about them - especially with someone mature like Janus.

And yes, having someone who is able to see past your lies means being a lot vulnerable... but also a lot freerer. With Janus, Patton won’t have to pretend to be the strongest one: he can allow himself to be weak and confused, because if he doesn’t have an answer or if the weight of decisions is too much to carry, he has Janus with whom he can share it.

* A foundation of mutual respect

This point has never been fully addressed, but it was very well implied by their words/behaviours since Janus’ first appearance.

The first proof we have is CLBG: after Deceit revealed himself and disappeared, all the Sides and Thomas went through various degrees of shock, frustration and anger. Patton, on the other hand, was the only one who showed a pretty calm demeanor.

He should've been the angriest, considering that Janus took HIS place and pretended to be HIM the whole time. And yet, not only Patton didn't show any resentment, but he didn't talk bad about Janus (even if he had all the reasons to) and he even justified the other Side’s actions to Thomas:

[Patton]: Kiddo, simply put, Deceit is an inner coach that acts with the one intention of self-preservation.

Patton could’ve said anything, to make Janus appear as the worst. And his words could've had a lot of influence on Thomas, considering they were coming from his heart.

However, Patton didn't say anything too bad about Janus - not even in the following episodes.

Then we reach POF: Patton's monologue about his morals went so dramatically bad, he turned into a giant frog with abs and Janus had to sweep in to save Thomas.

In that moment, he could've said ANYTHING to make Patton appear as the worst Side ever. He had his chance on a silver plate: Patton was wrong, he had been wrong the whole time, he was literally ready to fight Thomas.

And yet, Janus took Patton's defense:

[Deceit]: He didn't mislead you on purpose, Thomas. I don't think the little guy... or... the big frog is capable of that sort of thing.

In addition to that, let’s consider Janus' whole attitude towards Patton in SvS: he basically spent an entire episode trying to make Patton understand his point.

[Deceit]: You can defend him all you like... But you can't change the facts. Is Thomas an innocent little lamb? Let's let them be the judge of that.

Why did he insist so much on this? Why not tricking Patton like he did with Roman or ignoring him like he did with Logan?

Because Janus knows how important Patton's role is and his whole behaviour shows respect towards the other Side. Unlike the others, who tend to diminish/forget Patton’s importance, Janus never did and always tried to reach him in the most honest, difficult way: through dialogue and confrontation.

And when he failed, instead of disregarding Patton’s importance, he just kept trying again, until his message finally reached the other Side.

* The perfect working partner

POF proved Patton can't bear the weight of the decision-making process all by himself. He needs another Side who can help him and Janus perfectly fills this role.

But why Janus? Why not Logan? Logan is a very mature Side, he can deal with a lot of stress, he's extremely organized and knows a lot. Surely he can help Patton with the decision-making process, right?

Not exactly. For his own admission, morals and ethics are not Logan's area of expertise (as it should be: logic can’t be influenced by what’s considered “good” or “bad”: logic is neutral). Secondly, Logic isn't an emotional-driven Side: logic is way less affected by emotions than other Sides - especially compared to Patton, who is the embodiment of emotions.

What Patton needs is a mature Side with a grey mentality, humble enough to respect him/not diminish his role, from his same area of expertise and enough emotional-driven to connect with him on an emotional/empathetic level.

And Janus is the only one who fills all those points. Even the latter, as we saw in the last part of POF:

[Patton]: Janus... Do you think there's a limit... on how many times someone can say sorry... before you have to admit... that they're just bad for you? [Janus]: Oh, definitely not. I'd love for someone to ruin Thomas' entire life one apology at a time. [Patton]: Okay. [Janus]: (After seeing Patton's reaction)The reality is that... it depends.

Janus' answer changed, the moment he realized Patton didn't get his sarcasm, by switching from ironic to honest. This is the kind of emotional connection Patton needs, something that doesn’t require words, but a small gesture that says more than a thousand words (yes, I’m also talking about that gaze and the small nod in the end card).

If we add to all of that the detail that Janus can nullify Patton's excuses and see past his lies, we have the perfect partner to help him grow up.

But this cooperation isn’t just one-sided: Janus needs Patton just as much as Patton needs him.

Why? First of all, to have a seat at the table. After years hiding, Janus can finally talk to Thomas, introduce his cynical mentality, make Thomas a little more selfish and help him grow up.

Secondly, by cooperating with Patton, Janus will become a better Side: he will learn to compromise, to work together and, most importantly, to trust Patton. And this is a particularly important point because, as I said in my analysis of POF, Janus isn’t used to trust others and he doesn’t want them to see past his barriers. Working with Patton might be exactly what he needs to trust the other Sides and lower these barriers, even a tiny bit.

* The romantic possibility

Considering all of the above points, the idea that their cooperation could evolve into something romantic-driven isn't so strange. The elements are all here, there's nothing weird to add nor need to bend canon, in order to make the ship happen. Their mutual acceptance can easily become need, learning more about each other can easily evolve into desiring each other and friendship could grow into passion.

And, of course, let's not forget marriage. These two can only end up in marriage. I mean, one is a dad, the other is a mom witch, so they are a perfect match XD

My point is: this ship isn't just a “cute couple being cute”. It's about dialogues. Conversations about themselves, their different points of view, their morals, their cooperation, how to help Thomas and the other Sides. It's based on listening to each other, on knowing each other a little more every day. On being silly together, working and failing together, going down and getting up, because there is someone by your side to lend a helping hand.

This is what makes Janus and Patton the most realistic, mature couple. And that's probably why it's so hard to perfectly nail it.

______________________________

Logan and Remus

Here it is, the couple that blew up after one episode and was confirmed in the most recent Aside.

But seriously, these two have a huge potential - first as friends/working partners, then as romantic partners. Logan and Remus need each other and the reasons are pretty clear:

- Having an interlocutor

Remus is Unleashed Creativity, a volcano of ideas in constant need of new stimuli, no matter if they are considered good or bad. After all "good and bad are all made up nonsense", as he said.

Logan is a walking encyclopedia in search of someone who wants to listen to him. He's pure, undiluted knowledge because that's what logic should be. No morals about what's good and what's bad, no emotions, nothing but neutral knowledge.

Considering that, it’s pretty clear these two have to come into contact. But what would they gain?

Well, Remus would have the stimuli he desperately craves. And Logan?

Logan would gain an incredibly smart interlocutor. And I’m not saying it because I am biased towards Remus, but because the canonical episodes showed us how smart he is. In both DWIT and WTIT Remus proved to be a quick thinker, with a sharp intellect and an even sharper eye. He's silly and over the top, but he's not an idiot and he uses everything he has for his own creative needs, no matter how small it is.

Just imagine this cleverness applied to everything Logan might say to him. Remus wouldn’t be the only one to benefit from it, but the whole creative process and, ultimately, Thomas himself, who will have better, richer ideas.

- Gaining a place

At this moment in time (just after WTIT) Remus has not been fully accepted yet. He is tolerated and his presence is a nuisance, but he’s neither wanted, nor banished. He’s just here and he has no voice on any matter.

Also because no one wants to give him a chance to prove how useful and worthy he can be. Thomas barely tolerates him, Patton does his best to ignore him, Roman doesn’t even want to see him and Virgil would rather not have any of the Others present.

The only Core Side who accepts Remus’ presence and is willing to give him a chance is Logan. He spent the entire DWIT to explain why Remus is useful for Thomas and shouldn’t be ignored, while in WTIT, he said: "There will be a time and place for you" - thus implying that, one day, Remus will finally be able to show how worthy he can be.

This is exactly what Remus needs: a Core Side who doesn’t see him as a nuisance or a villain, but as a fundamental part of Thomas that can be helpful, in his own way. Someone willing to give him a seat at the table (at least in the future). And, most importantly, someone who is powerful enough to control him.

Remus is and will always be a force of nature. He will never rest or stop being chaotic. This is why he needs someone strong by his side, someone who can’t be overcomed by his dark thoughts and that can put him back on track if necessary. And Logan proved to be perfect for this role not once, but twice.

- Understanding on a deeper level

However this cooperation won’t be beneficial just for Remus. As I said before, Remus could be a clever interlocutor for Logan. And this cleverness isn’t just related to creativity, but also to emotional understanding.

The Core Sides have known Logan for almost thirty years and yet, they have no idea of the inner turmoil raging inside him. They keep ignoring and dismissing him, clearly thinking everything is fine.

It took Remus one single day to realize what Logan’s problem is, how deeply frustrated he is and how much he’s actually angry at Thomas. Less than 24 hours and Remus knows Logan better than his long time friends.

That’s exactly what Logan needs. Someone sharp enough to notice his behaviour, find out the root of the problem and make Logan face it, instead of dismissing it because who cares (yes, Roman, I am talking about you and your “You'll be fine, Rome didn't fall in a day.”)

- The romantic possibility

I think almost all the fandom agrees that these two would have a great sex life. After all, Remus is the embodiment of Thomas' sexual urges, so he would definitely go for a very physical relationship.

But having a good sex life implies a lot of other great things: good chemistry, no comunication issues, great stability and greater trust. And, even more important, the desire to try new things together. Logan and Remus are both very curious Sides, they both want to know new things and experience them: so their relationship would probably be based on discussing new ideas, testing them and finding out together if they are good or not.

And this doesn't apply to just the sexual aspect: even just the romantic aspect or the working aspect of their relationship could have these characteristics. Logan and Remus can motivate each other, learn from one another and find new things together. They are clever enough to stimulate each other's mind, curious enough to do stuff together to learn something new and honest enough to not withdraw their opinions on any matter.

______________________________

Roman and Virgil

I am just recently starting to warm up to this couple, so I will keep this part short.

Just as it was for the previous two couples, these two can work together because canon made them work. The first part of their whole relationship is already all canonically established: at first Roman saw Virgil as a villain, then he slowly realized he could be a friend. Now moving from friends to lovers isn’t so difficult.

^ No need to demonstrate

Roman needs someone like Virgil, because Virgil is on his same level. Sure, Virgil’s mentality is way more gray-ish, but he still has a lot to learn, just like Roman.

Having someone on his side, who is on his same level is a huge relief: with Virgil, Roman doesn't have to pretend, nor to show off, nor to be dashing and perfect all the time. He knows Virgil won't care less, so he can relax. And for someone who is used to working all the time, having a moment of quiet with someone who has zero espectations is exactly what Roman needs.

Same goes for Virgil: he knows Roman won't care if he's gloomy and dark, because Roman already saw that side of him and appreciates him anyway. So no need to pretend to be different. He can relax too. And, because of his anxious nature, relaxing is exactly what he also needs.

So if they both need to relax, that implies they also need time to do it. And without expectations, without feeling like the other “is better than me and I’m slowing him down”, they can really take all the time they need, to grow at their own pace.

^ Growing together

Virgil and Roman’s is not a one-sided relationship, in which one knows more than the other and helps the other reach his level: since they are on the same level, if one of them learns something new, then it’s a victory for them both, because the other will be motivated to do more/learn more as well.

This isn’t just something I think, but something we saw in canon. During AA-part 2, Roman clearly stated that Virgil “make us... better”, thus implying that Virgil acted as a motivator for him.

Then we had FWSA and here we saw this sentence applied the other way around: Roman was the motivator and, thanks to him, Virgil overcame his own anxiety to push Thomas towards Nico. The final result was a victory for them both: Roman got the romance he’s desperately craving, Virgil found out a new aspect of himself: his bravery.

^ The romantic possibility

These two are a walking “enemies to friends to lovers” trope, so I don’t think there’s anything else to add XD

Only that they would both be quite passionate. One is Thomas’ romantic side, the other is heavily influenced by emotions: if the good one takes Virgil, he would probably be a very passionate partner.

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Two couples I understand

Janus and Remus -> I understand the appeal of this one and it would kinda make sense, especially from Remus’ point of view. Remus has (probably) sexual fantasies about anything, so I wouldn't be too surprised if he has a whole collection of sexual fantasies about the Side who is closest to him.

But also, I see them too much like father and son/bestest friends to imagine them having a romantic relationship.

So my take is more like that: Remus has sexual fantasies about Janus, just like he has sexual fantasies about anyone. They are his way to show his affection, how much he cares about Janus and wants to protect him.

But Remus is Remus and he's prone to lose control. That's why, since he reached adolescence and started to develop the sexual aspect, Janus put clear limits that give Remus enough space to express his fantasies, but never past a certain point.

So Remus can be very touchy (because, well, he's Remus) and extremely physical in showing his affections, but never go below a certain point. He can talk in full details about all his sexual fantasies to Janus, but never try to sexually force him. He can try to seduce him or propose sexual things, but never pretend he will accept.

And so, over time, it became a sort of internal joke between them: Remus tells his fantasies at the breakfast table, while Janus rolls his eyes with a "very interesting", they have a laugh, they keep going with their day. Remus wants to cuddle, Janus will cuddle. Remus proposes sex, Janus will just laugh and give him a forehead kiss.

In other words, they are the kind of friends who you can find sprawled on a couch, one on top of the other and imagine they're a couple, while that's just how they read a book together.

Logan and Roman -> This couple isn’t bad at all and I really like the idea of these two having a sorta-romantic crush on each other. It can lead to a lot of poetic/romantic possibilities.

The only problem is: Logan is logic, therefore he would destroy all the romance with one sentence XD and the romantic, poetic scene evoked would turn into these two arguing like madmen.

So, well, maybe the hate-sex would be great, but they would definitely spend too much time arguing. Still, I am very curious about it, so I will keep searching for stuff about them.

[lockhartism]

Aerith and Tifa as Sephiroth’s Foils

There are a lot of moving pieces to Final Fantasy 7--something that has historically contributed to its infamous reputation of being confusing. But one consistent thematic pattern that FF7 utilizes is duality. Life and death. Meetings and partings. Loneliness and togetherness. Many of the main themes presented in FF7 fall into this same format. Even the characters can be considered dualities in and of themselves. One of the most obvious dualities in the game is that of Aerith and Sephiroth. However, in varying degrees, all of the main characters are in some way antithetical to Sephiroth.

Like in many other classic hero vs. villain tales, you’d think that Cloud is the perfect foil to Sephiroth--after all, they’re at odds, so it would make sense that they’d be opposites. However, what makes Cloud and Sephiroth’s conflict so fascinating is that they actually have a good amount in common. Both Cloud and Sephiroth struggle with their identities. They also experienced trauma and loneliness in the past, and tended to isolate themselves from others. It’s this commonality that actually makes them compelling rivals, as Cloud not only has to battle Sephiroth, but also the aspects of Sephiroth that Cloud himself struggles with.

The real foils of Sephiroth are Aerith and Tifa. While there is some debate as to whether Aerith or Tifa is the real heroine of FF7 (mostly spear-headed by weird LTD-pushers), the big-brained answer is that they’re both the heroines. This is evident in concept art from an older FF7 Ultimania, pictured below: 

As you can see, the concept for the story’s heroine started out as a hybrid of Tifa and Aerith. The character’s design resembles Tifa, and the name below the sketch reads “ティファ”, or Tifa. However, the character’s role was very different. She was intended to be both the childhood friend of Cloud Strife and a Cetra, the sister of Sephiroth (who originally looked more like Vincent). Eventually, the idea to kill off one of the main characters was introduced, and the role of the heroine was split in two: the Cetra, Aerith, and the childhood friend, Tifa. There is some evidence of the original concept still present in the series; Tifa’s iconic red eyes match Vincent’s, because originally, the two characters were designed to be siblings before eventually going to separate roles.

Based on this evidence, it would seem logical that both Aerith and Tifa retained their dualities with Sephiroth. And, indeed, even in the final product, both characters provide a foil for Sephiroth to balance the scales.

To exemplify the dynamic that Cloud, Tifa, Aerith, and Sephiroth have with one another, I’ve drawn a (crude) spectrum:

Obviously, Aerith and Tifa play different roles and have different importance to the story. Aerith’s role is more “big picture”, so to speak. She is responsible for the Planet and for protecting it from Sephiroth after discovering his plans to destroy it. Tifa’s role is more fine-tuned and detailed. She is the rock and the only stable element of the Nibelheim story, a key part of Cloud, Zack, and Sephiroth’s backstories. To understand how each of them foils Sephiroth, we have to look at them individually and analyze how they interact with both Sephiroth and Cloud.

Part I: Aerith as Sephiroth’s Foil

As stated above, Aerith’s role as foil is a little more obvious. Sephiroth and Aerith are both “Cetra”--or, at the very least, they both claim to be. For Sephiroth, his identity as a Cetra is tied to his belief that Jenova, his “mother”, was a Cetra who was betrayed by humanity when humans left the traditional Cetra nomadic lifestyle in order to colonize the land and the Planet. 

However, Jenova was not a Cetra at all--she was actually a “calamity from the skies” that crashed down and created the Northern Crater two thousand years before the events of FF7. After encountering the Cetra, the creature known as Jenova began infecting and killing the Cetra one by one. These killings only stopped when the Cetra banded together to seal Jenova in the Northern Crater; but, by the time it was done, the Cetra were dying off.

So how did Jenova become known as a Cetra? That seems like more than a clerical error to me. It was actually Aerith’s father, Professor Gast, who uncovered Jenova from the Northern Crater and mistakenly identified her as a Cetra. The Shinra Corporation, desperate to find the Cetra’s “Promised Land” thinking that it would be rich in Mako energy, enlisted the professor to find a way to create a Cetra from a human specimen. Using the cells extracted from Jenova, Sephiroth was created, and after reading Shinra’s archives, he discovered his relationship to Jenova and embraced his identity as “Cetra”. 

Aerith, on the other hand, really is a Cetra. Her mother, Ifalna, was the last Cetra--making Aerith, by relation, half-Cetra. Her connection to the Cetra race is real, unlike Sephiroth’s.

This give her declaration in the final chapter of FF7 Remake all the more important:

There’s a duality between Aerith and Sephiroth in truth versus lies. Aerith’s heritage as a Cetra is founded in truth. She is connected to the Planet in a way that is real. She is a Cetra, in covenant with the Planet to protect it that was passed down to her by her mother. In contrast, Sephiroth’s claims to be a Cetra are lies--whether he’s aware of it or not. Jenova, Sephiroth’s “mother”, is not a Cetra. She is not even from the Planet, but rather from somewhere beyond it. Jenova acted as a parasite of the Planet and is actually responsible for sending it into chaos and draining it of its life. He has no real obligation to protect the Planet, and he is not truly connected to it the way that Aerith is.

Aerith and Sephiroth also represent the original duality between the Cetra and Jenova, with both parties continuing to be at odds with one another even two thousand years later.

Tying in a more overarching FF7 theme, Aerith and Sephiroth also personify the duality of life and death, respectively. With Aerith, her “domain” of sorts, the Sector 5 church, is bursting with life. It is the only place in Midgar where flowers will grow. Even gameplay-wise, she is a healer, and is constantly giving life to other characters in the party. Sephiroth, on the other hand, only destroys. He set fire to Nibelheim and killed the townspeople, including Cloud’s mother and Tifa’s father. Cloud even notes his strength while recounting his version of the events in Nibelheim.

Cloud: “Sephiroth's strength is unreal. He is far stronger in reality than any story you might have heard about him.”

Therefore, Aerith and Sephiroth represent two different dualities: life versus death, and truth versus lies.

Part II: Tifa as Sephiroth’s Foil

Tifa’s role as foil to Sephiroth is more understated but nevertheless important, especially in the latter half of the story. Tifa, Cloud, and Sephiroth are the only survivors of the Nibelheim incident, wherein Sephiroth burned the town of Nibelheim to the ground and killed the townspeople after discovering his “Cetra” heritage. However, Cloud’s memories are clouded due to his trauma and the Mako poisoning he endured during the five-year gap between the Nibelheim incident and the start of FF7; and Sephiroth purposefully twists the truth in order to weaken Cloud’s already-fragile mental state. Therefore, the only one who can decipher what’s true and what’s not is Tifa.

Like Aerith, Tifa also represents the truth, while Sephiroth represents lies and deceit. This is very evident in this scene that takes place in the Northern Crater, and again in a scene during Tifa’s journey into Cloud’s mind. In the Northern Crater, Sephiroth tries to convince Cloud that he was never real, and that all of his childhood memories, even the ones he shared with Tifa, were fabricated.

Sephiroth: “You are just a puppet... You have no heart... and cannot feel any pain... How can there be any meaning in the memory of such a being? What I have shown you is reality. What you remember, that is the illusion. [...] Five years ago you were... constructed by Hojo, piece by piece, right after Nibelheim was burnt. A puppet made up of vibrant Jenova cells, her knowledge, and the power of Mako. An incomplete Sephiroth-clone. Not even given a number. ...That is your reality.”

Sephiroth, at first, succeeds in convincing Cloud that he is not the “real” Cloud but rather someone who never existed, who never grew up in Nibelheim, and who clung on to fake memories as a means to cope with that fact. However, later in the Lifestream, Tifa expresses a different sentiment:

Tifa: “Sephiroth once said... Cloud made up his memories by listening to my stories... Did you imagine this sky? No, you remembered it. That night the stars were gorgeous. It was just Cloud and I. We talked at the well... That's why I continued to believe that you were the real Cloud. I still believe you're the Cloud from Nibelheim...”

By reminding Cloud of a memory they both share--a true memory--she is able to provide a solid ground, wherein Cloud can begin to rebuild his true self after falling for Sephiroth’s deception.

Obviously, Tifa’s relationship with the truth is complicated, and she herself suffers from her own self doubt throughout the story. But in this defining moment, Tifa finally realizes without a doubt what the truth is, and together both Cloud and Tifa are able to reconstruct what really happened in Nibelheim and solve the mystery once and for all.

But this duality isn’t simply about truth versus lies. It’s also about hope versus despair. In deceiving Cloud, Sephiroth strips him of all his hope. Cloud is filled with such fundamental despair that he can’t see the truth and believe that he is indeed an experiment created by Hojo. Tifa, in contrast, provides him with hope when she affirms his memories with her own. Separately, Tifa’s resolve to continue the team’s journey without Cloud is another example of her hope in the face of Sephiroth’s despair.

The idea of hope versus despair in Sephiroth and Tifa is exemplified in Kingdom Hearts (although KH is not canonically related to FF7, I think it’s a neat little call back):

Tifa: “Cloud, you can have my light.”

In Kingdom Hearts II, Sephiroth represents Cloud’s darkness, while Tifa represents Cloud’s light. This is a similar dichotomy to truth versus lies, metaphorically, where Sephiroth is “casting shadows” on the truth, and Tifa is “shedding light” on what really happened. (Okay, sorry for the puns!)

Another duality that Tifa and Sephiroth represent is the dual meaning of reunion in the context of FF7. It’s common knowledge among FFVII fans at this point, but to everyone who’s playing for the first time or who has recently picked up the franchise and not gotten all caught up yet, Sephiroth talks a lot about “the Reunion”.  Like, a lot.  Sephiroth’s “reunion” is a reference to the Reunion Theory, a scientific theory posited by Professor Hojo that states that Jenova’s cells--once separated from their host, i.e. Jenova--will seek out the main body.  This makes everyone who has ever been injected with Jenova’s cells essentially part of a massive Jenova hive mind, with the primary goal to eventually reunite with Jenova.

Obviously, this is a bad thing for Cloud, who was exposed to Jenova cells and is thus connected to Sephiroth.

However, Cloud and Tifa also have a reunion at the beginning of the story--a reunion between friends who haven’t seen each other in a long time. Unlike Sephiroth’s reunion, this is a positive thing. Cloud and Tifa, on multiple occasions, discuss “meeting again” and “finding each other” after so many years apart. Even after they reconstruct Cloud’s memories, he says:

Cloud: “Yeah...... Tifa...... We finally...... meet again......”

Sephiroth’s reunion with Cloud leads him astray from the path; Tifa’s reunion with Cloud sets thing right again. One reunion destroys Cloud’s perception of what’s real, and the other helps him to find the truth once again. Reunion changes meaning with Sephiroth and Tifa, and these opposing definitions of what “reunion” is make Tifa and Sephiroth perfect foils.

Part III: Final Thoughts

Part of what makes Sephiroth such a compelling villain are the striking similarities he shares with the protagonist Cloud Strife. In the original storyboard for FF7, Tifa and Aerith shared a role as the main heroine and the perfect foil for Sephiroth. But even after the role was separated into two distinct characters, the characteristics that made each one of them a foil to Sephiroth remained. For unique reasons, they balance the scales, providing an anchor of “good” to counteract the badness of the story’s main antagonist. 

That’s all I have to say about it! I’ve been thinking a lot about Tifa and Aerith’s unique roles in the story as deuteragonists, or dual heroines, and how they both represent antitheses to Sephiroth. I figured I share my thoughts!

[theflyindutchwoman]

Given recent discussions in the fandom and because I’m curious to hear others’ opinion… would you want to see a Chenford breakup next season?

All right, let me start with my usual disclaimer : this is only my opinion and it has no more (or less) value than anyone else's. And this isn't meant as a personal attack either, regardless of which side of the equation you're in. I actually enjoyed reading other people's takes on this, particularly the ones who want a breakup, to see their perspective on the subject. It was truly interesting (no sarcasm).

To answer your question, dear Anon, no, I don't want a breakup. Mainly because I feel that so many shows go there, so I'm more interested in seeing Tim and Lucy navigate the ups and downs together.

One thing that attracted me to their relationship was their ability to talk to each other about everything and anything. How, despite their differences and their rocky start, they could always confide in each other… Be extremely vulnerable. And that is what I would love to see going forward. How this shorthand they've developed by working together can translate into their personal relationship. Don't get me wrong, just because they are usually good at communicating doesn't mean that it is perfect. It's not. Even before they became a couple. There are some cracks that became more and more visible as the season progressed. The theme of 'honesty' was their main thread in 5b. The storylines involving Sava & Jake or Isabel served to highlight that aspect. To emphasise how lies, deceit and miscommunication can destroy a relationship. Now it could be used as a foreshadowing… Or it could be used as a warning. Tim and Lucy already have a much stronger relationship, so I choose to believe that this could be a learning experience for them. Learn from other people's mistakes, learn from your past (in Tim's case).

Right now, those moments of dishonesty revolves around one common theme : work. Tim taking a desk job without consulting Lucy first… Lucy doing the five-player trade behind his back… Him trying to lie at first that he wasn't bored out of his mind… Her not saying anything about Primm (as far as we know)… Him not wanting to open up about his fears regarding undercover…  Those are starting to pile up and they're going to need to address it. The sooner, the better. Particularly the undercover talk. This has been a long time coming. It's clear that Tim is terrified but doesn't want to burden Lucy with this. And she can sense it. That last scene in 5.21 was (for me) a step in the right direction where they started voicing their concerns. It's nowhere near sufficient. But they stopped avoiding that topic altogether. Like I said, they can be great at communicating… But they can also be their own worst enemies. They're both selfless when it comes to the other… they're both used to do things a certain way. And now, they need to learn how to do these things together. To talk about these moments that may seem insignificant to them but isn't to the other. To stop making decisions for the other. This is quite new to them : as we've seen in the past, they didn't truly open up to their boyfriends/girlfriends. That's something they are going to have to learn together. And that's okay : this is part of the journey of being in a relationship.

Another reason why I don't want to see that is related to the characters' growth. The thing is, I actually could picture Tim breaking up with Lucy because there is a pattern here. If he got it into his head that he is holding Lucy back, an idea already planted by Noah in 5.16, then yes, it wouldn't be out of character for him to break up, thinking it's the right thing to do for Lucy. Which is not that dissimilar to what he did in 5.02 : sure, they weren't together, but it still felt like a separation. Especially since the end of that scene mirrored so well another one from 1.12… when he decided to divorce Isabel. And if you remember, that was pretty much for that very same reason : he was afraid that being with him would only remind her of her time as an addict and bring her down. So he did what he thought would help her the most and decided to divorce her. So breaking that pattern would be a tremendous character development for Tim (in my opinion). Then, there's the fact that this is something they knew would be coming up at some point. This isn't a new obstacle. The episode before they got together had Lucy go undercover. And Tim, even more so than her, knew what he was getting into when he told her that it was worth the risk. He may not have explicitly said it but the implication that she was worth fighting for was right there. So breaking up for something that they could foresee kind of negates those words. And it would play right into Lucy's insecurities. She was so hesitant because she didn't want to lose what they have. She is finally letting go of the fears that prevented her before from fully committing to a relationship… Her certainty in them is absolutely amazing. So breaking up now would hurt her so much. (I focused mostly on Tim here because I struggle to see a reason for Lucy to break up. At least, not if this is related to her career, be it undercover work or her promotion).

Now, that's not to say that it can't be executed in a beautiful way. Sometimes breaking up can help strengthen a relationship, as odd as it might seem. Sometimes it gets too much and taking a step back can offer a new perspective and a fresh start on healthier grounds. Just like sticking in a relationship at all costs can be very damaging and toxic. I mean, take a look at Lucy and Tim in their last respective relationships… They stayed well past the expiration date. But I, personally, would rather see them work this out together. See them 'fight' and argue, like they've done in the past… that very same thing they didn't do with Ashley and Chris. See them all vulnerable with each other, like they've also done in the past. I honestly think the writers could pull off the angst and drama with this storyline, without having to resort to a breakup. But again, that's only my preference :)

[jaehyunoos]

- Over it

Summary: You always preached about getting over your ex, real fast. But what if you haven't and you've been lying to yourself all along?

Genre: Breakup!au, angst, a tiny bit of fluff at the end

Tw?: Alcohol consumption, a mention of reader wanting to unalive herself, reader is lying to herself as a coping mechanism???

Pairing: Lee Jeno x fem!reader (brief mentions of Haechan)

Word Count: 1.7k (it's the longest I've ever written lmfao)

Author's Note; Angsty queen or what?? lmao,, HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE JENO !!!! also, my requests are open if you want to request anything I will deliver <3 if you read this I love you and thank you for reading !! Enjoy 💚

You were over him. You were sure of that. After breaking up you did absolutely everything to get him out of your mind and surprisingly enough, it worked. You got a new haircut, started a new job, took care of yourself better, and made new friends. Life was a piece of cake for you when he left, everything came to a lot easier, in which you were thankful for that. You had moved on once and for all... Or so you thought.

Finding yourself looking back at times you were with him, how happy he made you, how much of a gentleman he was, how he made you feel like you were high; above everyone, and how much pleasure he gave you, you were his muse.

Slapping yourself out of your trance, you promised yourself to not think about him anymore. This night was going to be all about you and you only. Not Jeno -hell- not even a hundred Jenos couldn't stop you from having fun tonight. You were over him and that was final.

Walking into the house; which the party was hosted. Nose filing with the writhing stench of pure alcohol, mixed with sweat, you internally gagged passing by a couple making out at the kitchen entrance, you rolled your eyes taking a beer from the fridge and making your way out to the sofa. No way you would get out of this party sober, you had to drink, you had to get wasted. In honor of this prick; Lee Jeno, your ex.

You always boasted about how you were over him and how you didn't love him anymore. How he hurt you so bad that your feelings for him just stopped. You were so full of yourself, wow you had gotten over a relationship that you thought would be tough to manage, what a surprise. But seeing him walk into this house -powerfully so- with a lady by his side smiling and hugging his friends, you started to rethink everything you've done so far.

Were you really over the one and only; Lee Jeno? Or was all of this just a front, a new way of coping without him in your life? How did you manage to lie to yourself and believe it?

You know what they say; fake it 'till you make it. But did you? Did you make it? No, the fuck you did not. You were not over him. And you wouldn't be able to get over him, ever. Today marks the day you realized you didn't move on, putting one and two together you realized that all this time you were lying to yourself, and everyone around you. The hypocrisy.

Chugging the liquid down your throat, along with the betrayal you felt, the cold liquid cooling off your insides, making you feel a lot better at that moment. You smiled to yourself, alcohol made you feel free, your coping mechanism of a real escape once in a while. You got up to your feet, straightening your clothes, you made your way to the kitchen once again. You made sure you walked past them in long, powerful strides, grabbing your beer and exiting the kitchen, the same way you entered.

You glanced at them, seeing as he didn't even spare a glance at you, you sulked on the sofa. You couldn't stop thinking about the way he held her, by her waist, as if she was something so delicate; so fragile that if he held her in his arms for too long, she would break and disappear from his arms. You wanted to cry at that moment, he looked so happy. Maybe he truly was, maybe he didn't lie to himself like you did, and he was truly over you.

Or maybe he wasn't, you liked to cope with that idea. That he was putting up a front for you and everyone, that he didn't move on from you, but only the pained ones can dream, am I right? You wanted to dip at that moment, hide forever; or die. You shouldn't have come to this party, ever. Maybe if you stayed home and kept lying to yourself that you were happy, that you were able to live your life better without him. But at the same time, you wanted to get up and give him a good old slap into his handsome face.

How could he move on that fast? Get a new girlfriend, just like that, as if you never meant anything to him, ever. A person sitting beside you, suddenly, took you out of your train of thoughts.

"Hyuck!!, hey!" you breathed out.

Lee Donghyuck aka; Haechan. One of Jeno's best friends aka; your emotional support boy, was there with you, in all your crazy times after your breakup with him. "Hey, babydoll" he came closer to your face so you could hear what he said. Babydoll. The nickname he created after he, unexpectedly, caught you crying over baby dollies once, while he was over for late nights talks.

"What are you doing here all by yourself, mi querida?" asked, him.

"I'm trying to have as much fun as I can, I have so much to do this week" you let out a fake sigh, you had no work, no classes this week. You were just creating excuses because you were gonna spend those 7 days crying yourself to sleep and eat ice cream 'til you throw up.

Haechan threw an arm around you "he's here you know" he motioned towards Jeno and his crew with his chin, you looked over there for a second, catching a glimpse of Jeno smiling. You looked down at your red solo cup, sighing, "I know, what can I do about it" you looked at his eyes this time. "it's his birthday today".

"I know, how could I forget" you smiled.

"Maybe, I don't know, go there and wish-"

"ooookay time to get up and dance" you patted his thigh as you got up.

"Gosh, why are you so stubborn, I asked you to wish him a happy birthday, not fuck him, for god's sake!!" Haechan shot up from the sofa.

You stood there for a second, frozen, what was this outburst?

"Are you out of your mind!? He's clearly over me Hyuck, and as much as I wanna go up there and give him the biggest hug I can't. I can't just barge into his life back again and be like "heeey" as if nothing ever happened between us, as if we didn't hurt each other!"

You didn't mean to burst out like that, he probably heard what you said in fact; everyone did. Tears gathering in your eyes, you ran outside, the embarrassment too much to handle. You felt overwhelmed. You felt as if everyone was pushing you all this time and you -just now- had finally reached your breaking point.

Sitting on a bench near the pool, you let your sadness, frustration, regret, lies; everything takes over you as you sobbed into your hands. You felt stupid for crying over something so small, you felt bad because Haechan was probably somewhere beating himself up for pushing your limits. You didn't mean to be that sensitive.

You suddenly felt movement beside you as if someone sat there. You took your face out of your hands and looked at the person. Gasping, you wiped your -now wide- eyes and sat straight. There was none there besides the one and only, yeah you guessed it; Lee Jeno. "Do you mind if I sit here?" he gave you a soft smile.

'It's okay, you can sit, I guess" you cleared your throat.

You looked at him as he stared straight into the sky, a soft smile displaying on his lips as he rocked himself gently, back and forth. Mimicking his position, you did the same as you looked to the front, enjoying the cold breeze. "What happened to us?" you heard him speak, you turned to him, shrugging, "I don't know".

"it's like one minute we were in love and the other we were not"

you frowned.

"true, it's just one of us stopped loving the other for good but the one who thought that she had everything under control, turns out she's still madly in love, with the other" you smiled at him.

What you said caught him off guard, his eyes went wide in shock, but he quickly recovered. "Look, don't get me wrong I loved you; a lot, heck I might still love you. No, scratch that I am still in love with you, but, I'm in a very happy and healthy relationship and I want to keep it that way" you felt yourself tense up at the word 'relationship' but you quickly covered it up with a smile "it's okay Jeno, I get it, I never really expected anything after our breakup anyways" you patted his shoulder as you continued looking at the stars in the sky.

"Hey, Jen" you called out to him.

"Hm?"

"Can I get a last hug?" you looked at him.

"Come here" he motioned as he opened his arms to engulf you in a hug.

That's what it felt like hugging your whole world.

Finally. She felt as if she found her peace again. Her safe haven. After all the pain, the drama and deceit, the chaos and despair, there was rest. She felt once again the warmth and safety of his arms and how his hands held her as if he had known her all her life. She was finally home.

"She felt as if she found her peace again. Her safe haven." But that only would last that long as Jeno had to go back home to the safety of the arms of his girlfriend, and she had to go back to an empty home, an empty world, cause that's what her world felt like without him; empty. She wanted him back in her arms, she needed to be in his arms, but it was too late for that as Jeno went back to his girlfriend and she had to go back home, full of regrets. She was not over him and she chooses to ignore it and the more she ignored it the more further away Jeno slipped from her arms to the arms of another.

[darkacademiamanor]

Dear Chris McCandless,

Wait, sorry let me start once again. I forgot your hate towards societal norms that don't make sense.

To a person I never knew personally hence isn't dear to me,

"I don't want to know what time it is. I don't want to know what day it is or where I am. None of that matters."

It's been more than a decade since I got to know about a somebody in this world, the world that strives to fit us inside a clock from the moment we are born, to make us disciplined to an extent that we forget the thin lines between being a human and a robot until we end up losing all the humanly traits we once carried.

"I think careers are a 20th century invention and I don't want one."

Is it good to have a career? It is one of the many materialistic needs of life. You need money to have a good life and to find happiness- at least, that's what we are taught since childhood. An idea reiterated to us countless times until it settles into our minds like a seed that grows even when we attempt to suppress it.

But it is extremely hard to conform to a society where you gain something as profound as knowledge only for monetary gains. When you see the quest for knowledge and wisdom outshined by the struggles to become a money-making machine, you wonder if this is the life you want.

With all the ups and downs in one's existence, they seem to lose parts of themselves only to heal them with new ones. If the entire essence and personality of a person shift constantly, how are they supposed to like one solitary thing for the rest of their lives?

I guess what they say is true- "If you are not at war with yourself. You are at war with others." I think that is one of the essential reasons why most of us have a substantial portion of our hearts filled with regret that we need to scour in the depths of our souls to find a few moments worth cherishing. We often blur the lines between being in denial and blaming others for the choices we never made.

Are we too living our "lies" somewhere?

From giving us a name to deciding how our life is supposed to work, each of the little things of our life is a preconceived concept. All of these trivial things gradually add up to design our entire life.

I know changing your name to "Alexander Supertramp" did not necessarily alter the reality of life. Nevertheless, it gave you the contentment of taking control of your life. But do we actually do anything to change our lives? Each day, most of us think that we are going to live a unique life. But how many of us actually go out of our way to grab what we want?

It is perhaps the most courageous lesson you taught us- the first step you take towards being the master of your life is the hardest but it is only in that one insignificant step that the rest of our life can be changed for the better or for worse.

"Happiness is only real when shared."

In a society that is near to being morally dead, you think about leaving everything behind and not believing in the joy that human relationships bring. The betrayal, lies and deceits we hear in the world more than the words of comfort from our loved ones make us ponder whether it is worth taking the risk.

Your story is a masterpiece because it has its own share of missteps. You were able to uncover the deceptions and lies of the people, however, you forgot the comfort of a human bond.

[elephantmystic]

Pick a Card for Week

Briscas

As always, take a deep breath and focus your intuition on choosing the stone that will bring you the most relevant message. Always go with your FIRST choice.

Clear Quartz - As de Bastos

The clear quartz group’s message for this week is all about initiation and endings. The message for this week is to start, whatever it is you have planned by first letting go. There are lots of people around you that are not being completely honest with you it seems. And it many of these relationships, you’ve been feeling the urge to let go and move on. However, you have not been able to do so. The card for this week aligns with the energy of action, to move beyond deceit into the light of truth. Perhaps the deceitful one is yourself, as you have been lying to yourself about how you truly feel and have thus hindered your own progress. It’s time to let go of shame in speaking your truth. Embody that which is reality, not what is perceived reality. And pray for the wisdom to know the difference. Take a look at the areas of your life that you are half-assing and ask yourself why? Who or what allowed you to do this? And is it work keeping this person/thing/habit around? Only you, when you step into the light of truth, can answer these questions. Expect that to be in your face this week.

Blue Kyanite - Rey de Copas

The blue kyanite group’s message for this week embodies the abilities and capabilities you have for all of the challenges you face in your life. However, this card shows us that this group isn’t feeling too confident in their skills and decision-making. Examine the areas in your life where you are unable to be decisive. Take a closer look at the emotion beneath the actions or lack thereof. This group has to reconcile with feeling fully versus intellectualizing your feelings. It feels as if you’ve been floating between being here and being elsewhere both mentally and emotionally. This week, take the chance to ground yourself. Root yourself in your body by really feeling what it is that lies beneath the surface. In a safe space, allow yourself to unwind, letting go of the tight grip you have on your emotions. You don’t always have to have it put together. It is okay to break down sometimes. From the breakdown, you are able to build back up an evens stronger foundation. But you cannot see the cracks in the current one if you don’t go down to the basement and check. Don’t be afraid to dive deep.

Moss Agate - 4 de Oro

The moss agate group’s message is about allowing yourself the opportunity to receive. This group is filled with people who are givers, who are unafraid to offer their arm or leg for the people they love and care about. However, many of you can find it difficult to receive support as well. This sort of hyper-independence leads you to a place where you are guarded and it can be exhausting. This week, the opportunity of someone gifting you something is high. Make sure you accept it. It is important to understand that life is about exchange. We all give and take from each other. Allow yourself to receive blessings, just as much as you give them. Take a moment to reflect on why you may not believe you are worthy of such gifts and support. Who told you that first? Why do you believe that? How can you adjust that belief so that little by little you are able to receive that which you deserve. Money is on the mind of the people in this group this week. Be conscientious of the ways in which you give and receive money as well. Maybe it’s time to make that budget or calculate those monthly expenses.