#and somehow having both the funniest and most heartfelt conversations while doing it

[semi-sketchy]

how did breaking bad make an entire episode about a fly

AND WHY WAS IT SO GOOD

[kiyoominous]

starburst matchup 

exchange with @haikyuu-matches​

hello! thanks for doing this with me, i think it's such a cute idea! i hope you don't mind that i've went with a more narrative approach with this matchup, i have never done one in my life D: 

you have been matched with komori motoya! 

falling for you!

komori met you at a community volleyball club. he doesn't visit too often, with the responsibilities of his own high school club, but he likes to play when he can. one particular day, he entered the community centre and saw you in all your 5'6 glory. the last time he came, he didn't see you in the crowd of familiar neighbourhood faces. you stood further towards the back of the hall, fidgeting with your fingers. this image looked all too familiar to komori, the cousin of a particularly standoffish ace. a sympathetic pang in his chest and he walked over to you, smiling as your eyes met his. 

you both traded names and he noticed that you were a little quiet. that was okay, he could talk around that. and he did, asking you questions and trying his hardest to make you feel comfortable. taking glances at your face, he saw the corners of your mouth turn upwards and noted that it was working. 

was it weird that he was enjoying it? 

komori doesn't remember too many things about that day. the volleyball match was fun and he remembered doing a really good receive. the rest of his memories from that day were filled with you. you and your shy smile, you and your dark chocolate eyes, you and your cute jokes. sure, you could've been the same as every other girl he's met in his life but there was something so discernibly about you. something so outstanding that he felt couldn't be matched. he couldn't put his finger on it so he made it his mission to finally put a name to this feeling. 

he found that the second he mentally declared his manhunt to define his thoughts on you, he was seeing you everywhere. he spotted you at the convenience store, he bumped into you at the dog park and he saw you at school. he saw you at school? komori was mildly surprised to see you in the cafeteria of his school, which was your's too. you weren't all too shocked, you knew about him through volleyball monthly but you didn't want to tell him that you did. 

five minutes of conversation and he discovered that you were both in different classes. no wonder why he never saw you around. or perhaps he did but he never took notice of your sleek black hair. he was always accompanying sakusa anyway so he didn't really notice anyone outside of his club or his class. 

somehow, someone mentioned the upcoming exam season. you declared your conflict with standardised testing, he proclaimed his struggle with revising content in return. it became very obvious to komori that his chance to understand you more intently was here; he could ask you to study with him! talk about killing two birds with one stone. you agreed to his plan with a gentle smile and he felt his heart flutter. was it the satisfaction of your agreement or was it something deeper? 

he decided that the answer would come to him later, not now. 

after the much anticipated study session came another one, and another one, and then studying morphed into free time. and then free time morphed into a weekly friday night hangout. unbeknownst to him, one of the beloved friday nights would become a vehicle for his romantic epiphany.  

komori enjoyed this turn of events. as much as he wouldn't admit it out loud, komori realised that he enjoyed your presence too. maybe a little too much. every second he spent with you, he felt his heart racing faster than it ever did after a volleyball match. it didn't help that your accidental touches made it accelerate even more. he didn't think that was even possible. it was impossible to not drink in the sight of you. the glow of your face, your silky dark hair, your gleaming brown eyes. perhaps you might’ve found them boring and painfully average but he thought you were the prettiest person he’d ever had the pleasure of perceiving. 

his fixation on you extended past your outward appearance and dove right within your mind, your heart, your very soul. he loved the sound of your laugh, the noise was melodious to him. he loved your sense of humour, all of those puns and dad jokes were right up his alley. hearing them made his heart flutter even more. he loved your hardworking nature, your love for the rain, the passion you put into everything you adored. 

he loved you. 

komori saw your widening eyes in his vision and suddenly he was brought back to the cold of your living room, back to the dark of the midnight sky, back to where he was sitting right now; next to you on the timber floorboards. the neon light of the television reflected on your pretty face, the movie playing on the screen long forgotten in favour of you. 

the realisation that he said that out loud hit him right in the chest and he felt like he was going to pass out. komori felt the air enter his lungs again when he heard you reciprocate loud and clear. 

you loved him too. 

the relationship dynamic!

you're both the most entertaining pair to be around, the gemini/leo combo makes for a fun relationship. 

the two of you are one of those couples that people want to be around, wishing to stick around to laugh with you and just see you so in love. 

with your mom friend energy and his dad friend energy (which i know he just has), you both become the designated parents amongst your friends. whether its a blessing or a curse, that's up to them to decide. 

the two of you are constantly on the same wavelength. 

it’s never too loud or too quiet with komori, just the right balance of both. 

he loves your sense of humour and thinks you’re one of the funniest people on the planet. it helps that he’s absolutely enamoured by your puns and dad jokes. sometimes he’ll shoot one right back at you just to hear you laugh. 

you both like poking a little fun at each other, giving teasing remarks or sarcastic quips. 

komori cares so much about you. 

he understands your need to recover in social situations and gives you the time that you need. he’s willing to be the pillar you run to whenever your social battery’s running low. 

though he admires your hardworking nature, he won’t hesitate to stop you if you overwork yourself. he always encourages breaks and offers to do your work for you if that’s what you need. not necessarily a nagging type of person but if he needs to take physical action, he’ll do it. it’s mostly just him stealing your laptop and pulling you into his lap for a cuddle. 

he doesn’t hesitate to remind you that you don’t have to be a people pleaser. an understanding man, he knows that it’s hard to just get over it so he tells you that he’ll be with you every step of the way, always giving you a gentle reminder of how cool you are to him and that you can say no. 

komori wants to be the shoulder you lean on whenever you’re facing something you don’t like. loud noises? he’ll hold you close and rub your back, telling you that it’ll all be okay. confrontation? he’ll confront them for you. injuries? he’ll keep an eye on you to make sure that you’re never going to be hurt. on the off chance that you do earn a wound, komori will ensure that you’re fixed up as soon as possible. he has a whole mini first aid kit on him specifically for this reason. fear of losing? he’ll always remind you that your efforts mattered more than the results and give you a kiss on the top of your head. the unknown? he’ll waddle through the unknown with you. he’s scared of it too but he won’t tell you that. violence? he’ll cover your eyes and guide you away with strong, gentle arms. 

he loves indulging himself in all of your interests.  

on lazy days, he’ll sit with you and take turns reading a book to each other out loud. sometimes it’s a whole novel, sometimes it’s a manga you’ve picked up from the library. he thinks it’s cute seeing your eyebrows furrow while you concentrate on the words in front of you. 

the study dates don’t end. whenever one of you is struggling with a subject, the other visits to be their personal tutor. it ends up being you a lot of the time, since komori loves your studying method. 

komori loves to read your writing. there are days where you go over to his to hangout and sit in silence. he adores that he can be that relaxed around you and lounge around on his phone while you sit up with your laptop propped on your lap. you’re always writing up a draft of a new creative piece whenever he glances at your laptop. he graciously offers to be your beta reader and indulges in every word you’ve typed. komori thinks that your writing style is so beautiful. 

one day, you told him that you like the french language and he spent a week trying to learn how to say ‘i love you’ and maybe a couple of other phrases to surprise you out of nowhere. when he saw your shock, he giggled and wrapped his arms around you. from that moment on, he would occasionally whisper je t'aime into your ear. he loves you so much omg. 

you play sports together. it doesn’t matter what it is; be it volleyball, tennis or soccer. you’re both a power duo in every game you play and everyone’s scared to play again the two of you. it helps that your boyfriend is one of the most notable liberos in japan. 

komori likes watching anything with you. sometimes when you’re both too tired to go out, he’ll set up his tv to watch whatever you’re in the mood for. one day you might catch up on my hero academia. another day you might be sniffling at a romcom. he likes romcoms more than he’d like to admit but he tells you about this guilty pleasure to appease your love for the genre. 

you mentioned to him once that you liked handwritten letters and komori made it his personal mission to write one for you personally once a month. they’re always so heartfelt, a clear reflection of him and his emotions towards you. he enjoys writing them as much as he enjoys the expression on your face when you read them. 

he seems to be the greek mythology enthusiast himself so he loves talking to you about it. and by enthusiast, i mean that komori was one of those kids who owned the whole entire percy jackson series. since the most that he knows about greek mythology is whatever is written in the percy jackson books, he lets you sit with him and educate him on the extensive lore of the gmcu (greek mythology cinematic universe). 

he loves hearing you talk about astrology and gets into it himself. he can’t help it, especially with the bright smile you hold on your face whenever you talk about it. when he first found out about your astrological compatibility, he was over the moon. the grin that he had on his face was so big that you thought that it looked like the moon itself. he’s downloaded co-star and reads his and your horoscope sometimes. 

date idea! 

komori decided to take you to a cat cafe after you mentioned the idea of it to him once. it’s a very him thing to do, to remember something you’ve told him offhandedly once and immediately make something big out of it. 

the second you step in, your eyes glimmer with delight as they land on the multitude of cats in the vicinity. you don’t even look back to him at once, swerving your attention to the cafe’s residents. at least you’re holding his hand still, he thinks. maybe he’s a little jealous but hey, the visible joy on your face beats his concern over being prioritised after felines living in a cafe. 

after what seemed like hours of cat-petting, you both sat to order, the food arriving in a pleasingly timely fashion. the lunch items were delicious, the desserts were divine but komori was even more drawn to the soft look of adoration on your face as you stared at a calico cat that frequently passed by the two of you. 

this might’ve been his best date idea yet, he thought. 

[lia-jones]

Growing Stronger - Chapter Thirty-Six - Preview of What's to Come

It was the day before the big day! Saturday, March 21st. In twenty-four hours my last name would no longer be Jones, and I would officially belong to a new family, one Victor and I were creating for ourselves. A dream come true. I had butterflies in my stomach since I woke up that morning, I could only imagine how I would be on my wedding day.

Victor and I spent most of the day packing and making the last arrangements for our honeymoon. Our conjugal expedition would last a total of two weeks, which I thought was very ambitious, given LFG would be minus a CEO, but Victor was adamant that we took the time to ourselves, since we had been so busy the last few months.

“We need to learn to take time to ourselves.” Victor pointed out once again later that evening, while we drove to Aunt Terry’s ranch for the wedding rehearsal. “I don’t mean just you, me too. I have been solely focused on work for way too long. Our lives are changing, so should we.”

“You are not wrong, but I still think your no phone policy won’t last long. Eventually, Goldman will need something from you. Two weeks is a long time.” I frowned at him.

“At least just for the first three days. I want those to be just for us.” He turned down the familiar dirt road that led to his aunt’s property, stopping the car right at the entrance. “Ready?” He smiled tenderly. I took a deep breath, my heart starting to beat faster.

“Yes.” I nodded with conviction.

The dusky sky was getting darker, the fiery hues being replaced with dark ones, as we drove down the dirt road. It was like I was entering a fairytale. Every tree lining the road was covered in beautiful colored ribbons, and from them hung jars with flickering candles, lighting our way to the mansion. By the gates, two huge golden letters, V and A, signed the place of what would be called by the media the most important event of the year: our wedding. The gates and the walls by them were adorned with beautiful white roses and peonies, and huge lit candles were strategically placed by them, giving the whole area a whimsical atmosphere. The child in me was expecting to see fairies floating about,  like I was watching one of those Tinkerbell movies.

“I think it’s safe to assume you like it.” Victor gave me a smug smile. “You’re yet to say a word.”

I had helped plan some of the wedding, but the big plans were in Victor’s and the wedding planner’s hands, and Victor insisted on keeping some of it a surprise for me. When I looked at the man I loved, my eyes were brimming with tears of joy.

“It’s perfect.” I couldn’t help my wide grin. I was so happy. And seeing him grin back just as wide made things even more perfect.

As we entered the gates and I observed the garden, perfectly illuminated in the now darkening night, I felt my heart fill with joy and love. I was so distracted with my professional life, only awakening slightly to my personal one, that I completely forgot how romantic and magical Victor could be. This was clearly an ode to our love. It had the care and the tenderness I felt from him every day times a million. It was dazzling.

“This weekend, I want you to be surrounded by nothing but joy, beauty, and love.” He spoke with tender eyes looking at me, containing a million emotions, most of which I couldn’t decipher, but one was very clear.

Bernard met us at the door and we strolled around in the garden for a while, admiring in detail what we were sure we wouldn’t be able to the following day, while he showed us every aspect of the decorations. After spending some time with him, his English was starting to sound more normal to me, although peonies were still a serious trigger for my laughter. Noticing that it was getting late, we headed for the wedding venue. The officiant was already expecting us at the gazebo, along with my family and some of Victor’s family, which included his father, some of his aunts and uncles, aunt Terry and her partner, Susan. Gregory didn’t look happy.

The rehearsal was pretty simple, as we assume our positions, my father walking me down the aisle and taking me to Victor, and the usual exchange of vows that we chose to memorize instead of repeat. It was pretty uneventful, but of course, no wedding is a true wedding without a story to tell. And although this was a Lee wedding, held to the highest of standards, ours wouldn’t be an exception.

After we said our vows and pretended to exchange our rings, the officiant made the dreaded declaration that is always so popular in movies: If anyone has reason to be against this wedding, speak now, or forever hold your peace.

This part was so useless nobody was actually paying much attention. That is, until we heard a loud NOOOOOOOOOO coming from the end of the aisle. It turns out, it was Mia’s assistant, Minor, who was playing something on his cellphone and apparently was not having a great game. But that wasn’t actually the funniest part. Gavin, who was sitting by his side, got up ready to fall on him like a boulder, but not before Mia, red as a tomato, got up from Gavin’s side, smacked Minor hard in the stomach, making him double over and let out a loud ooofff.

Victor witnessed it with an expression that screamed What are these idiots doing now? To me, it was the funniest thing I had ever seen since blue penises. I stifled a laugh, noticing Greg watching us closely with judgemental eyes. But, truth be told, I knew what was coming, and I wouldn’t be able to hold it in. Pretending to show affection to my beloved future husband, I leaned my face against his chest, letting myself laugh a little. Noticing it, Victor rubbed my back.

“Quit it, Andrea.” He whispered between clenched teeth. I was lost. Victor’s reprimand only made me laugh more.

“Is she crying?” I heard Terry ask. “Oh, honey, there’s no reason to cry.”

“No.” I heard Victor’s voice, flat as a board. “She’s laughing.” He turned to me. “Ok, enough already. It wasn’t that funny.”

But it was. I replayed the entire scene again in my mind, picturing Minor’s face getting slightly purple with embarrassment and surprise, and tears started to come.

“The little woman…” I heard the officiant’s voice, strained as he tried not to laugh. “For someone so little she sure does pack a punch!” He let out a hearty laugh.

“Just like the bride!” My brother chimed in, laughing, and soon I could hear my parents laugh too.

They say there is nothing as contagious as laughter. One by one, all the guests present started laughing in unison. Even Victor, who was trying to keep it together, threw composure to the wind and was laughing too, his chest rumbling against my cheeks.

When, after some very long minutes, the laughter stopped and I was able to lift my face from Victor’s shirt, Gavin, Mia and Minor were nowhere to be seen, and Gregory was shooting daggers in my direction, a look of disgust on his face. The officiant was still wiping tears from his cheeks, trying to catch a breath.

“I have to say, in 10 years of practice, I have never heard a single objection, let alone such a heartfelt one!” He chuckled. “Well, let’s finish this practice. Does anyone else object to this wedding? If that’s the case, I think we can summon the little woman again!”.

I laughed loudly and the room followed me again. Victor gave the officiant a stern look.

“Skip that part tomorrow.” Victor instructed the officiant.

There is definitely no cleansing power like laughter. We left the rehearsal in good spirits, Victor particularly excited for the next activity.

It is customary for the groom to plan a dinner with all his favorite things before the wedding, usually during rehearsal dinner. My father and Victor were planning this for weeks, constantly talking on the phone or via Skype, constructing the perfect wine tasting dinner. Victor hired three renowned chefs to cook for us that night, one of them being his teacher Guy Sauvant, and some sommeliers to explain the wines and the pairings to the guests.

The decoration of the tent was truly Victor’s taste, and it somehow reminded me of old cellars and antique parlor rooms, intricate iron candle holders and dark velvet sofas and chairs, images of paintings everywhere, decorating the menus, hanging on the walls or in the background of the bars.

We sat and ate, and I noticed how relaxed Victor seemed to be around my family. Although we were trying to give both families the same attention, we would naturally gravitate towards mine, and Victor seemed to enjoy himself more in their presence, either engaging in light conversations with my parents, or laughing at some joke Joshua had made, or simply holding Ana on his lap when she demanded attention. He had clearly been adopted by the Jones, but it seemed he had adopted them too.

Gregory walked up to us while we were laughing about a story my father was telling from one of his trips.

“Greetings to the happy couple. It seems like my son has such a busy life nowadays that he doesn’t  have time to greet his own father.” Gregory shook our hands, his expression as dry as the desert.

“I was waiting for you to finish your meal.” I noticed Victor’s shoulder’s tense as he shook his father’s hand. “I hope everything was to your liking.”

“I can’t say I’m terribly impressed so far.” Gregory gave me a weird look and turned to Victor. “Make sure your fiancée shows a little more restraint tomorrow. We don’t want that ridiculous scene in front of our guests.”

“You mean your guests.” Victor kept his poker face but his ears became red, revealing his anger. “The people I know nothing about and yet you insisted I’d invite.” He gave Gregory a defiant look. “Moreso, please remind yourself that this is Andrea’s wedding too, and she is allowed to laugh as much as she wants, even if that is disagreeable to your guests.”

Gregory took a step further, ready to charge with some venomous words. I held Victor’s hand tight, anticipating a confrontation.

“Gregory!” My mother touched Gregory’s arm amicably. He looked at his arm and then at her, as if he was considering if he had been infected by something. “Have you tried the cherry wine my husband brought? Come, I’ll serve you some while we chat, I would love to know the father that raised this remarkable young man.”

Wise as always, my mother knew that a stroke of Gregory’s ego would be enough to divert his attention. The flattery made him quickly conclude she was worthy of his attention, and both walked away to get the cherry wine. Sitting by my side, Victor was fuming.

“It’s ok, let it go.” I rubbed his upper arm lovingly.

“That’s exactly why I didn’t want him here.” He mumbled, turning at me after. “How are you not angry? He basically implied you were some idiot I should control.”

“I don’t care what he says.” I shrugged. “Besides, he’s the real idiot if he thinks he’s going to ruin my night. You shouldn’t let him ruin yours either.”

Victor nodded, coming closer for a short sweet kiss. We heard a soft clink from afar. It was my brother, in the center of the room, gathering everyone’s attention.

“Good evening, everyone. For those who don’t know me, my name is Joshua, and I’m Andrea’s twin brother. If you are wondering if that is actually true, because I’m taller and better looking, yes we are twins, no, I didn’t steal all the food in the womb, and yes, despite being the second born, I am the best twin.”

Everybody, especially my family laughed, while I playfully stuck out my tongue to my brother, Victor chuckling with the both of us.

“Hmmm… So what can I say about the bride and the groom? I’ll start with the bride, since I know her since we were two fertilized eggs inside my mother's womb.” Josh continued. ”Growing up, Andrea was a tomboy, refusing to live up to her gender role, always defying the rules and sticking true to what she believed in. I remember at a relative’s wedding, we were eight at the time, she tore her dress trying to show some ‘snotty boy,’” he used air quotes, “that girls could climb trees just as well as boys. The dress caught up in one of the branches and ripped apart, as Andrea dangled happily in one of the branches, her underwear showing.” There was another wave of laughter in the room. “My mother was livid but didn’t ground her, because she did climb the tree faster than the boy, even with her dress tearing apart. And even though she now is a respectable lady of the elite, and such dress ripping habits are frowned upon, I am sure she will still be the Andrea I’ve always known, a small yet concentrated force of nature, defying everyone that tries to put her down and showing us all there can be incredible strength in adversity.” Joshua’s throat caught up with emotion. “I’m so incredibly proud of you, sis.” He turned to Victor. “Now what can we say about our CEO.”

“This should be good.” Victor spoke to me, his flat voice not matching the smile he had in his eyes.

“Perhaps our groom doesn’t know this, but we had heard of him way before the two started dating. The truth was, Andy originally didn’t like Victor very much. Well, that’s an understatement. Every time she referred to him, she used some very original terms. My two favorite still are “Lord Victor, King of Highhorseland” and “Victor Lee, the Slayer of Souls and Destroyer of Joy”.

Again, everybody laughed, including Victor, but he still gave me a dirty look. I could feel myself seriously blush.

“That was before I knew the real you, you know that.” I defended myself. He simply smiled and softly rubbed his nose against mine.

“But the mighty King of Highhorseland must’ve done something right and somehow convince damsel Andrea to ride with him because, to our surprise, he flew across the ocean for about twelve hours just to see Andy defend her thesis and… they seemed pretty intimate, if you know what I mean. And that’s when I found out three undeniable truths about my future brother in law: one, he is persistent, because I bet it was no picnic trying to woo this one.”

Victor shook his head and everybody laughed. Thank you, dear brother.

“Two, he is caring and extremely giving. He flew from a distant country, ready to face our family and Dr. Mariana’s thorough interrogation, just to make my sister happy. And by the way they held each other, the way she looked at him, she was. It’s obvious you make my sister very happy Victor, and I have to thank you for that. Thank you for taking such good care of her.” Joshua was misty-eyed again. “And three!” Joshua cleared his throat. “Victor is a very strong man. Not only did he date hurricane Andrea, he’s marrying her. Now seriously, I wish the best to both of you! Victor, welcome to the family!”

Everybody clapped and we nodded, thanking them for the applause and the best wishes, although it was more of a roast than a best wish speech. Either way, it was the way my brother would say I love you , through comedy and sarcasm, a mask not very different from the one Victor wore with his poker face. Goldman stood up, and took the mic from Joshua.

“Victor, Andrea, it is with great joy that I come here to witness your commitment, and what I believe is the beginning of a lifetime of happiness. I still remember the first day Andy came to LFG and thinking she wouldn’t last a day there. But she was a pleasant surprise, manning the desk in no time and impressing us all. Apart from some minor mishaps with a fountain pen.”

I looked at Victor with wide eyes, feeling like a burglar caught red-handed. Way back when, when I started my internship at LFG and was moved to Victor’s office, I accidentally broke his favorite fountain pen. It was a stupid accident, I unwittingly threw it to the ground while getting some documents from his desk and stepped on it. As I saw the ink spread on what seemed to be a brand new rug, my heart nearly stopped. Fortunately, Goldman entered the room, and, seeing the panic in my eyes, he swiftly exchanged the broken pen with a new one from his front pocket, and spilled coffee on the ink stain to hide my crime. And soon we were partners in crime, joined in a secret that, if revealed, would make Victor have my head.

It looked like it was time for my punishment. I just hoped the wedding would reduce my sentence.

“Stop acting so nervous.” He smiled at me. “I knew it was  you all along.”

“YOU DID?!” I was appalled. “How? Why didn’t you say anything?” He kept quiet this whole time, letting me live with the guilt?

“Unless Goldman was trying to poison me, coffee isn’t blue. And I could tell the pen I was using was brand new. After that, it was a matter of finding out who truly did it. The guilty look on your face the next morning was the final clue.” He came closer, pecking the tip of my nose. “I knew that if I mentioned you would feel bad, and most likely want to leave LFG again. I couldn’t allow that.”

I smiled at him, my heart warm for knowing he wanted me close to him since the very start. We turned to Goldman, who was still giving his speech.

“... a good man, with a heart made of gold. Yes, he may sometimes be demanding, but he is that way for the good of the company and to allow us to keep our jobs. And Andy has changed him deeply in that department as well, he’s very different from what he used to be. I mean, when I started seeing him so happy I started tasting all his drinks, fearing she was putting something in them.”

“WHAT?” I heard Victor shout by my side, making me laugh hard when I saw his disgusted expression.

“And I should probably finish my speech, if I still want to keep my job. Let’s hear it for the happy couple! A happy life for you two!” Goldman rushed to finish. Needless to say, everybody laughed.

After a few more shorts speeches, with guests wishing us a happy life, gushing about how Victor and I looked cute together, some more lively music started playing. Victor and I sat in one of the sofa’s bantering with my parents, his hand on my waist, holding me lovingly, while I occasionally nudged his chest with my head. Eventually, Terry and Susan came to sit with us.

“Are you enjoying yourselves?” Victor asked.

“Actually, I would like to thank you both for inviting me to the wedding.” Susan spoke. “It means a lot to us.”

“No need.” Victor answered with a frank smile. “My pleasure.”

“I’m just sorry I was so oblivious before.” I chimed in, slightly embarrassed. “I didn’t even invite Susan to my bachelor party.”

“It’s alright.” Terry took my hand, turning it. “I can predict a double date in the near future, after you are done honeymooning.”

“That will take a while.” Victor joked.

“What is this I’m hearing now? Terry’s assistant is invited? Is it the theme of this wedding to display the stains of this family for the whole world to see?” We heard Victor’s father say, behind us.

“I have invited them.” I stood up, facing him. “If she’s with your sister, she’s part of the family.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Gregory spat. “You are definitely unfit to be a Lee. You lack the decorum, the finesse-”

“Ok, enough.” My mother approached us, trying to lighten the mood. “We don’t want to start a fight here, Gregory, our kids are getting married tomorrow.” She paused, holding her hands up, urging us all to calm down. “Let’s all get some sleep, tomorrow we’ll all have a big day. Agreed?”

“Either she goes, or I go. You choose.” Gregory warned Victor. Victor was about to retort when my mother intervened again.

“Please, no need to choose.” She looked at Gregory warmly. “This isn’t about any of us, it’s about Victor and Andrea. Let’s get some sleep, come on. Off you go, guys.”

“Do you still think it was a good idea to invite him?” Victor sighed, frustrated, as we walked towards the house.

“Hey, stop worrying about it.” I held his bicep, squeezing it tight. “Tomorrow we will have the wedding and we will be too busy to even know he’s there, and he won’t dare misbehave with all the media around him. And after that, we will only deal with him if we want to. It’ll be over soon.”

“You are right. He will forget all about us the moment all of this ends.” He smiled at me as we walked in, heading to my bedroom. “Go get your things and come sleep with me.”

“No, we should spend this night apart.” I smiled, stroking his chest lovingly. “To make it more special the night after the wedding.”

“We’ll spend the night after the wedding on a plane to Paris.” He grabbed my waist, pulling me closer, luring me in. “Come sleep with me, I can’t sleep without you.” He kissed my neck softly, teasing me.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Lee, but my answer is no.” I pushed him away playfully, only to get a sigh in response. “I’m saving myself for marriage.”

“You can’t even say that with a straight face.” He gave me a flat expression, which only made me laugh.

“I bid you goodnight.” I pecked him on the cheek. “Sleep well.”

Obviously, I wouldn’t get away with it. He pulled me against him once more, kissing me so passionately I had no choice but to melt in his arms.

“Fine.” He broke the kiss and let me go, chuckling when I slightly whimpered. “No, no, don't complain. My fiancée wants to sleep away from me and her wishes are my command. She shall sleep alone tonight.”

Later that night, alone in my bed, I was tossing and turning. Not only did I miss my bed, but mostly I missed Victor, his touch, his smell, his warmth. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought. With a heavy sigh of resignation, I opened my bedroom door and left, taking my pillow with me. Time to get some sleep.

[angrylizardjacket]

i’ll leave early {Machine Gun Kelly}

Anon asked: slow dancin’ with anybody you choose

A/N: 1173 words. I could have used this prompt more effectively but life’s full of little disappointments. so there’s a party happening at my house in a few weeks and i’ve just been shitty and stressed about it because i get home late so i’ll arrive to the party late, but i was talking to boyo and i asked if i could hang out with him instead of going to the party altogether, and he said yes, because he said he probably wouldn’t go, and then he says ‘even if i do go, i’ll leave early’ and i almost cried, and that’s where the title comes from. First of the prompt renaissance. Written in an hour and a half. Musician!Reader, set in america, v soft and a bit uhh?? gentle angst i guess. Please give some feedback? It’s a bit experimental in style, I hope you enjoy!!

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He’s away, on tour, in hotel beds, in tour buses, away from you, and it’s June but it feels so cold. 

Life is static, holding down the fort, holding the torch, waiting, always waiting. So static it’s like you’re starting to lose feeling in your legs, your life; it’s June and you’re getting frostbite in the heat. Everything feels numb - come home, come home - and you sit at home watching his Instagram story, listen to his album, FaceTime him when you can, a brief reprieve.

Of course you could live without him, of course you are; you wear blush and a sun hat and look like you’re thriving, but you’re allowed to miss, allowed to want, allowed to feel the loneliness like it aches. He’s been gone for so long, and it feels like the days between phone calls get longer and longer and longer and longer.

He looks tired.

Stubble; cute but unkempt, and bags you can see beneath his eyes for the subtle dusting of concealer. He’s got his crew, got Slim and Rook and now he’s got Yungblud - so talented, so talented, so far away - but the way he speaks about the tour, he’s always on the move, always doing something or going somewhere or jumping around like it’s his God given mission. 

When you ask if he’s coming home soon, he gives the first real smile he’s given all conversation - soon, soon, always soon. He misses you, the words spill from his lips, from his smile; maybe it’s not the sun thawing you this balmy June morning.

Like moves on, moves forward, drags you with it, it won’t let you stop, won’t let you freeze, won’t let you stagnate too much. Meetings and interviews and recording sessions your own career staggers forwards, one foot in front of the other into the future. The world holds it’s breath waiting for what you’ll deliver, you along with them without him there to help fight off the self doubt that’s made a home for itself in your studio.

He’s proud, you don’t see it but he’s proud. He catches your interviews when he can, listens to the samples you send. He won’t hold his breath with the rest of the world because his words to you are reassurances, without hesitation, without reservation - you’ve got this; you’ve always got this. Between nights out and days prepping for performances, you’re the constant against the landscape that’s become an impressionist blur beyond the tour bus windows.

You look tired.

Interview makeup and hair done by hands that aren’t yours, the downturn of your lips is the most real thing about you, the yawn that claws it’s way up your throat is all your own. Telling him you’re fine, you can’t quite smile. Beautiful but a little tragic.

July feels like an eon, and he’s melting, unfocused in the heat. Screaming fans and a new sound and lyrics that might be too honest, he feels too raw already. No time to recover.

Of course he could live without you, without the rumours that follow him, the allegations of cheating that he knows aren’t true and hopes you don’t believe and wishes would die down. Everyone seems to know everything about the two of you before either of you do. 

How did it come to this, to missing you like a physical ache, like a punch to the gut, like a phantom limb. He thinks he lives his life on the tight rope between fucked up and being fucked over; when it gets bad he tries to pick fights, to push you away, to keep you safe, but you stay despite reason. Finally, finally, words will die in his throat when the fight’s left him, like you’ve sapped the frustration and the fear and the - the rage, the fucking rage at all the shit the world’s put him through - and he’s left standing in his kitchen with your arms around him. The ringing in his ears turns to you. Can’t get rid of me that easily. He doesn’t want to.

So when you call, looking weak, exhausted, and it’s all he can feel too, he tells you to pack your bags, that he’s flying you out to wherever he is. He can’t come home, he’s still on tour, but he’ll bring his favourite piece of home to him. 

You ask what you’ll even be doing there, and he answers - anything, anything you want.

You can’t say what you want. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you.

“When I get there, what if you’re doing something?”

“I’ll leave early.”

Maybe you hug for too long in the airport, maybe you can hear people whisper and see phones photographing you, and maybe you don’t care. It’s been so strange, to be away for so long, to know he left an important interview to come pick you up, to realise you’d put your life on hold just to see him again on the other side of the country. It’s worth it. He won’t let you go and it’s so worth it.

All you want is to rest, to rest and to be with him. Quietly he’s thankful, he’s remembering just why he loves you, he’s glad you always somehow know exactly what he needs. Pizza in his hotel room behind a locked door, a plush bed with his arm around you while you watching fucking cartoons and you laugh like they truly are the funniest things in the world. The world outside the window lights up with the excitement of a Saturday night, but the curtains are drawn and you’ve brought a sample of the songs you’ve been working on. 

It’s raw, tone little tired, a little forlorn, slower than your usual stuff, but painfully heartfelt. But he’s nodding along. Getting to your feet, you’re offering a hand, offering a dance and a smile and he could never say no to that. Not the expected reaction, but a welcome comfort for you both. Swaying - gentle, gentle, the world doesn’t get to see him gentle - he listens to the lyrics, the melody your heart beats to. His arms are around you when you turn bashful, apologetic, the style’s unexpected, not your usual, an experiment, a moment of honesty, but he bats it away - don’t apologise, never apologise. He holds you closer, listens to the lyrics, the workshop in his mind already dissecting it, already looking forward to working on it with you if you asked him to - you will, you always do.

But for now, he just spins you, catches you, and flops back on the bed, pulls you down beside him. You’ve earned a break, earned this moment with his arms around you, as he’s earned it too. 

A night won’t bring you back from exhaustion, but it thaws your mind, the stagnated ideas and concepts you’ve been ruminating on. Of course you could live without him, thrive without him, but no-one gets you quite like him.

It’s the start of August, and the air feels warm again.

[glenngaylord]

OUTFEST 2020 FILM REVIEW: BOYS SHORTS 3 1/2 Stars (Average Score)

For many years, most LGBTQ+ festivals reserved their best short films for the Boys and Girls Shorts programs.  Usually deemed the sexiest, funniest, or most cinematic of the bunch, they typically play to sold out audiences.  Fortunately, shorts submissions have diversified and have showcased such incredible talent that festivals like Outfest offer a whole host of solid programs to enjoy.  

Still, there’s nothing like packing into the Directors Guild of America’s main theatre on a Saturday morning to collectively enjoy some carefully vetted films.  Unfortunately, this year, it’s just me and my admittedly cute-as-hell doggy sitting in my living room. No gaggles of gays to ogle. No over-the-top hugs, air kisses, or overhearing the constant refrain of, “What are you working on?” My sliding A/C unit makes a valiant but futile effort to cool us down as this endless Los Angeles heatwave threatens to kill our buzz.  Outfest may feel a little less communal this year, but the quality of the filmmaking remains high. I also applaud the programmers and filmmakers for helping to redefine and expand what has made this particular program so meaningful and enjoyable time and time again. Here are my quick tales on the Boys Shorts program:

QUERY (Dir: Sophie Kargman - USA- 7 mins)  3 Stars

Two straight identifying lifelong best friends, Jay and Alex, played by Justice Smith and Graham Graham Patrick Martin respectively, spend a day challenging heteronormative concepts until Jay makes the suggestion that they kiss.  What starts out as a bromantic, mumblecore trifle turns fascinating in its final moments, helped tremendously by some beautifully wordless acting by our two leads.  I can’t say I loved the tired idea that one of the guys justifies the kissing by saying he’s wasted, but it’s handled in a fairly dignified way missing  from so many gross-out comedies from the past.  Shot and framed with a nice sense of classical style, the film, a mere 7 minutes, doesn’t outstay its welcome and leaves you with a provocative final line.  Extra points for Armie Hammer’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-it jog-on role.  

S.A.M (Dir: Eyre and Ely - United Kingdom - 16 mins) 4 Stars

Two outcast Manchester teens (Sam Retford and George Webster) meet on a swing set and discover they’re both named Sam.  One appears to have a learning disability and the other smokes and seems to have an angry, rebellious streak.  Over the course of several weeks at the playground , their friendship deepens, slyly revealing their attraction to each other.  Both actors do a wonderful job dispelling common misconceptions of their challenges as they drink, swear brazenly at others, and develop a real bond.  Its handling of sexuality couldn’t be more lovely and instructive.  You wish more people would react to coming out the way we’re shown here.  Although shot entirely at the swing set, this film covers a lot of ground as we witness the beginnings of a ride-or-die friendship. I hope the directing team of Eyre and Ely develop this into a feature.  I could watch Sam and Sam all day.  

KIND OF (Dir: Noel Schamus - USA - 9 mins) 3 Stars

With friends imminently arriving for brunch, a trans masculine couple hash out their differences over their recently established open relationship.  Garcia (Tales Of The City) arrives home after a night out with a cis man to find Avi Roque preparing the meal.  Noel Schamus and co-writer Arno Mokros mine the tension between the two expertly, allowing us to see the genial but uncomfortable hugs and the passive-aggressive dialogue.  Things take an astonishing turn when they get brutally honest with each other, revealing a frank discussion many people have not had the opportunity to hear before.  The filmmaking itself may feel functional at best, but its honesty manages to stun.  

SEE YOU SOON (Dir: Tyler Rabinowitz - USA - 16 mins) 4 1/2 Stars

This gorgeously directed and acted film by Tyler Rabinowitz has a simple premise, aligned most closely with Boys Shorts of years past.  Vincent (James Cusati-Moyer) and Anthony (Jonny Beauchamp) live in Los Angeles and Manhattan respectively, yet have met online, FaceTiming in anticipation of Vincent’s upcoming weekend trip east. Both actors have that glow and eagerness between them which gets awkwardly dispelled when they first meet in person.  Still, they slowly gravitate towards each other as they traverse the city.  Anyone who has ever been in a long distance relationship will recognize the hesitation, the fumbling, and the painful moment when they realize they’re rushing into things.  With beautiful cinematography by Oren Soffer and a gentle, believable chemistry between the two leads, I felt immersed  in their struggle to figure out their path.  We may have seen this before with the seminal feature, Weekend, but it doesn’t take away from how well done it is here.  Also, Cusati-Moyer is a star in the making with his expressive face and ability to break your heart.  

LAST SUMMER WITH UNCLE IRA (Dir: Gary Jaffe, Katie Ennis - USA - 13 mins) 3 Stars

As Daniel (Igby Rigney, a potentially closeted teen, packs his bags for summer camp, his beloved gay uncle Ira (Wayne Wilcox), faces his pending death from AIDS complications.  Daniel’s mother (Tony winner Stephanie J. Block) relieves her son of his duties so that he can go outside and have what will likely be one final chat with Ira.  Set in the early 90s, the bulk of the short comprises of their conversation, with Ira trying to gently coax Daniel to come out, but the young man resists.  While heartfelt and well-performed by all three, the production suffers from a somewhat maudlin tone and style.  It harkens back to such films as An Early Frost, yet adds something fresh with the dynamic between the two leads.  Although I can’t say I was wowed by it, the final moments did make me cry with its lovely expression of intimacy.  Any film which can awaken my cold dead heart is worth something!

WHO CAN PREDICT WHAT WILL MOVE YOU? (Dir: Livia Huang - USA - 9 mins) 2 1/2 Stars

On the surface, this very aptly titled short appears to be about nothing as we watch two young Asian American gay men share a final night together on a basketball court and then in an apartment.  With limited dialogue and scenes consisting of dribbling a ball, hugging, and staring into each others’ eyes as their hands intertwine, the film leans more toward the experimental side of things. Despite a nearly non-existent story, what Huang and her actors excel at is creating and sustaining a mood, a feeling.  It’s simple and yet somehow conveys a sense of intimacy.  I won’t remember having seen it tomorrow, but it sure did make me want to lie on the floor with someone.  

THE CYPHER (Dir: Leia Solomon - USA - 15 mins) 4 1/2 Stars

Khalil (Nigel Cox), a closeted young Philadelphia man, may just win an upcoming rap battle, but when word gets out he has a boyfriend (Juan Gil), his plans may go up in smoke.  Think 8 Mile meets Moonlight in this colorful, vibrant, story of a guy who learns what summoning courage and using it to hone his creative talents really means.  With nonstop energy and a wonderful supporting turn by Kerrice Brooks as his sister Kiki, who unintentionally outs him, The Cypher hits all the right notes.  Although still laden with homophobia, out artists such as Lil Nas X and Frank Ocean have made inroads in hip hop and rap culture.  In this spirit, this sexy, thrilling short brings power, strength and fearlessness to queer black voices staking their claim to a previously forbidding genre.  Nigel Cox, a relative newcomer, deserves attention for his loud and proud performance.  

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on Is This The Real Life or Is This Just A Very Bizarre Fantasy?

• Here are the tags to block if you don't want to see this post on your dash: #long post, #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs.

• It's...Chapter 10. Often known as the midpoint. I know TRR isn't exactly the most nuanced series out there, but you know what used to happen by midpoints here? Important plot stuff that had buildup and development prior to it happening.

• Funny enough all three chapter 10s so far had something to do with Constantine! Book 1's had him announce he was stepping down and making Liam king, Book 2 had the reveal that the conspiracy against the MC was his idea. And then he actually dies in Book 3 Chapter 10. Now that he's no more, I guess they brought back another asshole dad to take his place.

• PB if you were really in a mood to bring back Bertrand's dad the least you could have done was build it up properly. You had an entire freaking chapter to at least build up on the Beaumont family relationships and issues! Yet all we see is that motorcycle with a hint that never fully gets told and very little besides that.

• Like, the narrative usually takes soooo much time to build everything properly, right? With chapters and chapters of hints? Look at all these things that you built up over chapters and sometimes over books: Liam's issues with his dad...The whereabouts of Savannah...Drake's connection to Bastien...Drake's mom's ranch...Drake's special relationship with his dad...Drake's duel...Drake's secret wedding...oh.

• Screenshots:

Hana: The Abhirio YouTube channel

Drake: @thefirstcourtesan and the BizzysChoices YouTube channel

Maxwell: @itsbrindleybinch

Title: The Beaumont Bachelor Bash

Alternative Title: Proof That Drake Is Undoubtedly Leona's Nephew. Even When He's Trying To Be Nice.

• Now Playing As Bertrand.

Wh - what...?

Okay but this is probably a tiny section and then my MC will come and save the day, right? Right?? I mean it's happened before (one of the most recent times we got a Bertrand PoV was in a Chapter 10, in fact!)

• ...how the hell did a motorcycle fit inside THAT BOX?

• I know, I know. It's mentioned time and again that the package is huuuuge. But that's...not the kind of packaging I'd be expecting for something that large. It wouldn't be SQUARE, at least.

• Okay wait. What was Maxwell panicking and stress-dancing about again? Bertrand isn't cottoning on to this plan as quickly as Maxwell/the LI was implying in that text.

• Okay wait so their great plan for the BBBB was...Bertrand putting away his cutlery and..."roughin' it"? Aren't bachelor/ette parties supposed to be catered to the guest of honour's needs?

Or is "something you want" only meant for Savannah? Because Hana actually read up and did research and tried to cater the entire party to whatever Savannah liked - not drag her along for something that wasn't her thing with "expand your horizons!" as an excuse.

• Like me, Bertrand doesn't fully trust his brother-in-law's motives.

• Wait what.

.• Bertrand is getting a new outfit. Oh he's wearing it already. Okay good. Must be free!

•

WHAT. WHAT. ARE YOU TELLING ME I'M NOT SEEING ESTHER FOR THE REST OF THIS CHAPTER

• I am NOT buying Bertrand new clothes. I didn't buy any last book, and I'm not going to start buying them now. Even if I didn't buy him the swanky maroon sweater last book he somehow wound up wearing it anyway in the finale. I'm sure he'll survive and they'll probably let him wear it for free some other time lol.

• Drake leads the boys to a nearby river, hoping to catch some fish that they can cook for dinner later.

• Bertrand gets...a dilapidated fishing pole. While everyone has prepared enough to get their own, perfectly alright ones. Drake is truly from Leona's bloodline, giving Bertrand stuff that'll make his task difficult (remember how she gave Bertrand a really rough horse to the country fair?). "I just wanted you to believe in yourself", my ass. You're doing this for your own entertainment.

• Also wasn't Maxwell organizing this party? Why does the end result look so much like Drake's idea? Or maybe the boys are splitting the activities between each other or something idk.

•

• That's a...puffer fish?

• The funniest option is the choose to grab Drake because Bertrand calls him "the Aggressively Rustic Drake" haha. It means of course that Bertrand will not get a fish but that's okay, Drake and Liam catch more than enough for dinner.

• But if Bertrand DOES catch that big fish his chest is all puffed out in pride and he notices no one else caught a fish as big as his 😄

• You can TELL Liam chose the next activity, because it's so aggressively Cordonian 😂 You need to shoot an apple with a weapon (preferably a bow and arrow, but the game offers you a rifle and an ornate gun as well).

• Of course I went ahead and shot Drake with a rubber bullet. Sorry Bertrand but I'm sure you can get your Knight-Marksmanship and Honorary Defender of the Realm award in a kinder person's playthrough 😅

• It's a nice scene, quite reminiscent of the first half of Maxwell's armoury scene last book, which involves Maxwell and the MC playing the same game.

• Now that we're done with the apples, it's time to bring out the bubbly!

• "This is not my bachelor party," says Drake when a surprised Liam asks him about why there's no whiskey. Coulda fooled me dude I've never heard of people giving the groom a dilapidated fishing pole to fish with for that kind of thing. I mean like more than 90% of this entire plan seems to cater to your tastes more than his.

• Bertrand (about the bubbly): This is from an excellent region of France!

Maxwell: Which one?

Bertrand: ...Champagne.

😂

• It's now night, so time for some...idk heartfelt man-talk or something.

•

It starts out with the main LI speaking about Bertrand and Savannah's relationship, praising them for how far they've come and there is some emphasis on the fact that they have Bartie. This leads the LI in question (if they're there) to talk candidly about their relationship with the MC and their sadness that they aren't pregnant yet.

- Liam: Speaks of how amazing the MC is and wonders if he's putting her through too much pressure on his Queen with the expectations of an heir.

- Drake: Very similar to Liam's, but this time Liam apologizes for forcing them into this kind of pressure and promises to withdraw it if that's what they want. (Liam will allow it, the narrative won't!)

- Hana: Since neither of the women are there, the conversation goes straight into Liam wondering if he did the wrong thing by placing that much pressure on them, and Bertrand reassuring him that both are phenomenal women and any child they bring up will be a worthy successor to the throne.

- Maxwell: From what @itsbrindleybinch was telling me, there's no discussion about Liam's offer or the pressure from him! The conversation is more centered around his fear that he might screw up in parenting...to which his brother has some of the best responses:

Istg when the writers really allow for those two to blossom on their own, the Brothers Beaumont dynamic is fantastic. I loved both responses from Bertrand.

I'm still wondering why there isn't much from Liam about the pressure he's placing on them, though! I mean, Maxwell and his wife are put under the same amounts of pressure so you'd expect Liam to speak up there too, right? (correct me if I'm wrong, because I can't find a full playthrough of Maxwell's route anywhere).

• The discussion slowly progresses into one about Bertrand's love for Savannah and not knowing how to show it properly to her...to which Drake responds that Bertrand needs to SHOW what he feels and maybe do a big dramatic gesture like the ones you see in romcoms (racing through an airport to confess your love, or confessing it while standing in the rain)...lmao I love how big gestures are something Savannah wants for herself but somehow she can't do the smallest things to help Bertrand feel more comfortable in her own damn home.

• Also I need to laugh at how desperately the writers are now trying to show us how "open minded" Drake is LMAO. TRR Drake looked down on his nose on practically all things not macho (including authentic Chinese food and pink cakes) and now they're making it sound like he's a romcom fan and willing to experiment with a tutu.

• Not buying that serenading scene. I didn't handhold Bertrand into telling Savannah about the Beaumont finances, nor did I handhold him into proposing. He did pretty okay without my help so far.

• The serenading scene has two main components (besides the logistics of communicating and then climbing up to her window) - telling Savannah his feelings and then singing to her. The first main options include suggestions from the boys:

Liam: Very sweet and romantic, with the kind of flowery language you would expect from Liam, and that Bertrand feels so comfortable with that he smiles as he says the words.

Drake: Very much, "I was an idiot but now I've come to my senses and I'm the luckiest man ever because of you" which...sure I can put it down to bias for his sister but now it just annoys me when I hear this. Esp during a time when he's claiming he actually likes Bertrand now.

Maxwell: Is just so fucking funny 😂

Bertrand: Savannah, I'm here because you're my...boo???

Maxwell: Trust me! Keep going!

Bertrand: Ahem. You are my boo, and I'm your...okay I'm not going to say that.

Savannah: What are you saying???

• For actually serenading her with a song you can either choose to go sweet and romantic, or you go "sexy", which tbh seems to be the funnier option because most of it is Bertrand muttering MmmMMmMmmm in place of all the sexy parts. Which is funny considering he and Savannah conceived a child atop an office desk of all places way before any of us even got to KISS our LIs 🤣

• Savannah is happy, Bertrand is happy, the boys are all back in the camp where they'll be spending the night. There's a tiny bit of "foreshadowing" in the ensuing conversation since Barthelemy is mentioned, but very much in a "Dad would be proud of you" way. I put that word "foreshadowing" in quotes coz there is very little it gives us, as opposed to how other things that have received foreshadowing were built up.

• Uh oh. BEAR ATTACK. From Kenna's pet-bear-from-Aurelia's descendant. Who somehow ended up in the woods in Texas 😂

• Drake tries to distract the bear, and Bertrand can either join him or go with Liam and Maxwell who are leading the way to an alternative location.

• We're out in the wilderness somewhere, and getting back to our tents is a diamond option. It's a fun diamond option though, and it doesn't involve me doing any unnecessary matchmaking.

• Liam is the strategist who makes a battle plan. Why don't I get to see him do these kind of things in his actual job PB!! Drake "knows the most woodcraft" and will therefore make a good scout, both he and Liam can draw the bear away, and Maxwell's hitherto-unseen present is now their secret weapon. Bertrand isn't sure about this plan but goes along with it anyway.

• Everything goes as per plan, and Maxwell unleashes the "secret weapon": Bertrand's beloved Cavilieri Novanta 9S motorbike. There's a small hint about him having to perhaps give it away or sell it when his father, well, did whatever he did, and Maxwell somehow traced it and got it back. I'm kinda certain that bike may feature in Bertrand's flashback if he's having one next chapter. Bertrand is emotional AND ecstatic, learning again to control his bike and to enjoy being on it.

• The best part of the bear scene, is when he uses his Duke of Ramsford voice and gives the bear the ole what-for 😂

(Bottom four screenshots from BizzysChoices' YouTube channel!)

• Even the bear could not withstand the severe tongue lashing LMAO. Bertrand has the option of ending this...um...verbal duel by telling his furry opponent to tell his children he has been bested by a Beaumont.

• The bear slumps back home in shame, but Bertrand is worried about what other tests Drake has in store. 'Tests?' Drake says innocently.

•

You're forgetting the part where you constantly blamed Bertrand for everything, knowing full well your sister made her fair share of mistakes. Or the part where you pretty much sabotaged an investigation just to stroke your ego about Bertrand getting her pregnant. Or the part where you repeatedly made it clear that you thought he didn't deserve Savannah. Or the part where you made him cluck like a chicken just before he proposed, just so you could have your moment to gloat. Or the part where you would shoot looks at Bertrand if he even so much as hinted your sister wasn't perfect. Or the part where your aunt kept making snide remarks about him, disrespected him, and gave him a rough horse, while you and your mother and your sister stood by and watched. And NOW you claim that the only person doubting Bertrand is BERTRAND?

Yeah. Well...tldr:

• My gosh. The amount of retconning happening here is giving me a headache.

• Like...I like that Drake can be nicer to Bertrand now and that most of the tension is gone. But let's not act like Drake wasn't knowingly adding fuel to the fire before??

• Anyway, the boys tell Bertrand they are proud of him and proceed to sleep in their tents or wherever they've chosen to sleep for the night.

• PB gives Liam the very, very rare chance to remind Drake that he grew up in a palace. Doesn't mean much, but I'm fairly happy.

• FINALLY. Esther's home and I can finally play as her again!

• If you bought the serenading scene, there are a couple extra lines showing Savannah and Bertrand looking super super happy.

• There's an old man at the door.

• BARTHELEMY???

• Neither of his sons even look like him. And it reads as if Bertrand is less surprised about the possibility that Barthelemy is alive than Maxwell is. What's going on.

General Thoughts:

• Alright, so it looks like this week we will be exploring the Beaumont family history, looking into why Bertrand lost his zest for life and ended up taking care of the estate when all this time his father was actually alive, and how the Beaumonts wound up so poor. There had better be a substantial amount of Maxwell because he's not been getting a lot of attention this book.

• I'm wondering if Barthelemy's return will cause Bertrand and Maxwell's insecurities to rise again, and we'll probably need to help them through that or something.

• Looks like the next chapter might have a young!Maxwell scene or Maxwell's first diamond scene, or both? Idk. I can't say for sure because I don't exactly trust the team on these things.

• There were...elements of the chapter that were good, I'll give it that. Bertrand's got an interesting narrative voice. You can tell it's him by the way he uses titles, by the way he speaks when he is proud of something he has achieved, the language itself that is heavy in its bearing. The scenes were fun from what I've seen. The bonding was good. Problem was...in a better book this wouldn't have been so irritating and such a sign of how not into the most important things about this book the team is.

• Since they had the time and the ideas, why the hell was the buildup to this reveal so flimsy and half-baked? I mean if you're going to give Bertrand an entire freaking chapter, shouldn't you have been using at least that space to have Bertrand speak a little more about Barthelemy? Or build it up earlier? All this time we'd had to deal with Savannah's griping and complaining and Leona's snide remarks, we could have spent learning from Maxwell a little about his family.

• Usually buildup to a lot of these things happen through hints over chapters. But this? Little to none. Maybe like two half-sentences said just before the reveal. It's all kinds of shitty, and it's what happens when the most important Beaumont is a Walker.

• I'm also pretty surprised Liam doesn't get to apologize to Maxwell the way he does to Drake about the royal heir thing.

• So the Walker Ranch chapters started around Chapter 6, and might possibly end around Chapter 12 (with a detour to Auvernal around Chapter 9). That's 5 whole chapters + one more to tour the States itself.

• I know the original idea was to do an epilogue book revolving around the Walker ranch, so there's obviously a lot more clarity in those chapters than in the others. But that is still no excuse. If they were going to change track they should have been doing it properly. There's no excuse for this kind of selective laziness especially when it's been manifested countless times before.

• I also find the whole idea of revolving the epilogue book still pretty problematic. At the core of it that would be more of Drake and his family (which was already happening honestly) and it would mean they are absolutely front and center of everything. If the original idea was to focus fully on the Walkers...yikes.

• Yeah honestly, this chapter was pretty iffy for me. And I'm not exactly very enthusiastic about writing for it, or playing the next chapter.

• Also! For those who didn't see it, this past week I'd been working on an essay about the treatment for Kiara and Penelope in TRR Book 3, and it's here below in case you haven't read it and you want to!

To Be Not Heard: Kiara, Penelope and the Question of Validation.

• Alright! On to the next chapter.

If you like it and want to discuss it, I'd be only too happy to read your comments! 😀

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x03

This week’s episode of Younger, ‘The Unusual Suspect’, was a big one. No scenes felt wasted, each one moving the story along and it all felt very purposeful. Despite some capital H hotness and really light and funny moments being scattered throughout, mostly thanks to fave (and only) NYC agent Redmond and the resurrection of some truly classic Diana Trout, there was definitely the sense of tension on the rise. It’s been simmering since the end of this season’s first episode and I feel like this week we have hit an apex.

We open with brunch at Maggie’s and what one can only assume is a time jump (either that or Clare has recovered remarkably well from birthing a baby the size of a four month old) and right away an overarching theme for this episode is established, as Lauren enters raving about the latest hit podcast, Exonerated. I’m gonna come straight out and say that I am so into this premise. The excitement around the table sounded like the break room in my office most days, they definitely nailed the trend of true crime fixation. It immediately allowed for Maggie’s quip about white women loving murder, a delightful array of OTT facial expressions from Liza and Kelsey dropping in that Millennial will be meeting with Audrey Colbert, subject of the podcast, to nab her book before anyone else does. Of course the other big news is that Josh and Clare appear to be happily family-ing it up (though mommy wipes, daddy dipes = vom in my mouth a little bit) and Maggie is dealing with unresolved BoUBT (Back of Uber Birth Trauma). Lauren’s vow to help get Maggie back on the ‘h for hunt’ once again epitomises why I love her character so and I want to record her sympathetic ‘oh Divaaa’ as my ringtone. I just love that Maggie, of all characters, is the one who seems like she should be the most pragmatic when it comes to something like birth yet her coping level is zero here.

You know who else wasn’t coping? Me and my Liza and Charles loving heart as Liza suddenly up and left the brunch because she ‘was late for a thing’, cue the scene that was released as a sneak peek last week that I have definitely only watched a normal number of times *cough*. The set up for The Rubin Museum from the opening conversation was fab and the fact that Charles and Liza are using the podcast to frame up a role play situation is just too much. Obviously I had seen the scene prior to the ep and while it is certainly *insert flames here*, I can’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like not to have expected it (actual combustion probable). I mean regardless, I will never think about a trip to the museum in the same way again. The voice-over narrating what we were seeing was such a great device that is really different to anything the show has done before, it built the anticipation of what was playing out and it felt like a scene from a movie. The moment when Charles turned and came face to face with Liza was a great reminder of how electric the chemistry between these two can be (actual lightening bolts were sighted) and quite frankly, seeing these characters being adventurous and lustful in their relationship is a yes on all fronts. I think the fact it all took place in a place of intellect and culture was extra fitting, it somehow kept the whole thing true to the characters and I am here for the #nerdlove. 

The office drama was amped this whole ep and that of course was largely due to the ever growing reign of our season 6 villain, Quinn. With the time jump since last episode confirmed by the fact that Quinn’s book is both published and sitting on the best seller list, Kelsey and Diana’s first encounter with Quinn as she uses the WiFi for a conference call included a) Diana saying goodbye in Mandarin, which was yet another lovely tidbit to add to this character while also setting up the classic Diana we got throughout this ep and; b) some of the best fashion and hairstyles all in one scene (and episode as a whole) ever. I mean the fashion on this show is always next level but this episode in particular took it up a notch: Diana’s high-neck printed electric blue top and Kelsey’s hair/makeup/outfit in the conference room were so stunning I was actually distracted by them. 

Kelsey’s office refurb was also noted, loved Liza’s ‘set it (Claw) on fire’ comment and of course, Diana telling Kelsey that now she is publisher, maybe she should stop speaking like a trucker was D. Trout golden line no.1 for this episode. Even better was seeing Kelsey, Diana and Liza settling into this new way of working. I adore the dynamic between these three and the way we’re seeing Diana adjust to her former assistant now being a peer without a fuss is why this show is so wonderful. It would have been easy to have Diana trying to assert herself and maintain some sort of authority, but to see her just want to get on with the work and do the best job she can gives a great credibility to the notion that this character is the best in the industry. I could pretty much write out every Diana Trout line from ‘The Unusual Suspect’ and leave this entire ramble at that (’why is everybody in this country obsessed with true crime? Actual people have died and they’re selling branded beanies on Etsy’ LOLLLLL) but I would then need to do that for Redmond because the fave one and only agent in NYC was back this week and as always, he was in fine form. 

The pitch of Audrey Colbert’s book is up there with the funniest scenes of this series, from the creepy af Audrey (A+ casting of Willa Fitzgerald) to Liza and Kelsey trying to play it cool while being hella freaked out to Redmond’s attempt to present a compelling pitch being railroaded by Audrey’s ‘crippling lack of media training’, it was Younger writing and delivery at its finest from start to finish. Seeing Redmond so unnerved by Audrey was unnerving in itself and really, I am so happy with the amount of Michael Urie in this episode. Our next encounter was of course when Kelsey and Liza interrupt his infrared sauna treatment (again, so many hilarious lines, I really feel that a transcript of the entire episode is about the only way to do it justice but may be problematic to pass off as a recap/review…or would it?) and discover that Audrey’s book is being shopped around thanks to the dagger next to Claw on the bestseller list, which = bulk sales = dodgy business = Chinese bots tweeting = Quinn is the worst (math doesn’t lie) = Audrey doesn’t want to be associated with anything suspicious on account of the fact she’s been accused of murdering two ppl (fair). I do want to back this truck up a little though to the way Kelsey and Liza discovered their next big hit was being pitched to half the major publishing houses around town.

Diana Trout hobbling into the office on crutches before dropping the bomb that her injury was the result of being so frazzled upon hearing the news re: Audrey going elsewhere, that she got caught up in her reformer (just go and re-watch this scene, you will not be sorry) is everything I never knew I wanted to see. The reference to Jackie Dunn, who you may remember has been a longstanding nemesis of sorts of Diana’s, was such an utter delight as a long time fan and once again, seeing Kelsey, Liza and Diana all equally vexed by the news was so great and continued to solidify them as a team. I promise no more direct quotes* (*this is a very loose promise), but ‘postpone the power-trip Kelsey, I am handicapped’ in response to Kelsey’s stunned expression upon Diana’s request for espresso, is so outrageously funny and makes this whole scene an absolute stand out on account of its hilarity. 

I missed Lauren and Diana interacting this week, however I appreciated seeing Lauren be the wonderful friend she is to Maggie and Josh. Taking Maggie to the support group obviously allowed us to meet Beth, who Maggie engaged for some one on one tutoring (looking forward to seeing where that goes this season) after returning to the store to apologise for running out during the group session. While Maggie was lining up her ongoing therapy, Lauren and Josh shared a sweet and heartfelt moment that highlights why their friendship is such a lovely one on this show. Obviously Josh had told Lauren that he and Clare had a moment that made him think, ‘maybe we should make this relationship work’ and Lauren is following up to see where his head and heart are at. 

I absolutely loved said scene between Clare and Josh, when he had finally settled the baby, asks Clare if she wants to go to her bed and then joins her on the floor when she says she sleeps where she can now. There was such a sense of unity and care and it made my heart swell. So in his discussion with Lauren we also find out the baby is named Gemma (last name TBC, for both father and daughter) and when pressed about what he actually wants, Josh reveals that he doesn’t think he and Clare are right for each other. I have said it before, but for all the wacky that Lauren can be, she is the most incredible friend who only wants the best for those around her in such a relentless and genuine way and this scene really highlighted that once again (the line about her dad having such a little bottom though brought us straight back to Lauren light in the best possible way).

The divorce proposal was such a great scene and while I was hoping that perhaps Clare and Josh could work things out, I am thrilled to see that the writers put both these characters on the same page right from the get go. I love that this show constantly bucks stereotypes and expectations of how certain characters and relationships will play out, so to see two adults who have an agreed desire to put their child first but know they need to do so outside a romantic relationship is something really unique on television. I have always enjoyed Josh and Clare’s dynamic and I hope we get to see a real, loving co-parenting arrangement play out.

Kelsey’s interaction with Zane when she is buying a bottle of Dom Perignon to celebrate scoring Audrey’s book (eek!) is my favourite interaction of theirs this season. Their banter was really effortless, Zane’s, ‘you’re not listening’, as he pulled out the cash to pay for the one remaining bottle smooth and a little bit over confident, but really played up that he has something in the works that is legit. I especially love that we later discover both are buying champagne to celebrate the same win. I feel like we also need to stop and appreciate that they were about to drop $400 between them on two bottles of bubbles like it was no big deal. What is this life? How do I get it?

Though admittedly Kelsey deserves a nice glass of something this ep considering all that she is dealing with. I have made no secret that I have struggled with Kelsey’s character these past couple of seasons and no one is more surprised than me at how much I am getting on board with her this season. Kelsey calling out Quinn point blank that she faked her best seller was so good to watch and seeing Liza backing her up and standing her own ground made this extra satisfying. Gah, I just LOVE how Laura Benanti plays Quinn and her stating that ‘the money is real, what else do you need?’ is so cold and matter-of-fact. What I love most about this whole confrontation is that it immediately made me think back to the first time we met Quinn - her whole presentation was about the fact that no one wants your success more than you do and that women helping women is actually holding women back. That right there should’ve been the red flag that her “helping” Liza and Kelsey was not legit. 

And so her true motivation for investing in Empirical becomes evident. It had nothing to do with saving an ailing publishing house, it was to ensure her book would be published, she could have some control over how big it would become and be seen to have the support of a reputable publishing house, all in order to gain name recognition so she could successfully run for Senate. In her mind, Kelsey and Liza benefit from the whole thing financially so it’s a win win but she also holds the power so feels like she has the upper hand. Which is why the scene at The Cut (which is so fab, the looks Quinn shoots Kelsey are searing), when audience members question the dagger next to her book, is so damn satisfying. Kelsey’s move to announce Quinn’s run for Senate is so bold, I am very on board and boy oh boy Kels, I think you’ve got yourself quite the adversary. I was very much Liza watching this all unfold, shocked, impressed and a little bit scared for and of Kelsey and what this all means.

Now Liza was late to the event because she was living out the next chapter of the podcast at the Brownstone which we need to discuss, however I first owe some of you an apology. At the end of last week’s ramble I suggested you may need a fire blanket at the ready after seeing the museum scene sneak peek to you know, contain the flames. I fear some of you may have deployed it prematurely (this is not a euphemism though I am very aware it sounds like one) in response to how damn hot that scene was, but I was not to know that we were going to get this later scene, in which Liza just wanders into the townhouse BECAUSE SHE HAS A FREAKING KEY (suspected ep 2, confirmed ep 3, appreciated always) and decides to have a good old snoop at her bf’s mail. Similar to the museum scene, this set up felt more like a movie than a typical Younger episode. There was an ominous weight to it; the music, the lighting, the Charles padding silently up behind her (barefoot again?) and the tension was palpable. 

Liza asks Charles about what’s going on, he provides a vague answer about moving some things around before asking her if she’s listened to chapter 7 of Exonerated, which conveniently mirrors almost exactly what just occurred, with Audrey’s ex finding her going through his things. Ok, so this is where it gets tricky for me. This entire exchange, from the way these two fall into that speaking in third person and wrapping a narrative around themselves, the way Charles wraps his arms around her, the way they look at each other, I mean, this whole thing makes my heart spontaneously combust because it is sexy and flirty, dripping with desire and just really really hot *reaches for backup fire blanket*. But then Liza is clearly distracted by that letter and Charles’ deflection and part of me is wondering why on Earth she isn’t pressing him harder for an answer or following up, I mean, we saw how open they were with one another last season, but then the other part of me looks at Liza and thinks, you are a person who has eyes and that whole situation is right there in front of you so I get it, go with it and worry about it later.

I am aware of how long this ramble already is, but I am going to do something a little different here and digress slightly away from the episode itself and put out some conjecture on my part. It could well be completely over-analysing (lol, I’m neck deep into a freaking novella about a 25 min episode of TV, I think that’s a given) but I know that there is concern about Charles behaving secretively and I have seen some people expressing disappointment in this season so far. 

For what it’s worth, my take on it is that it might seem as though some of the characters are behaving a little out of character but I feel that actually, the characters are behaving in ways we haven’t seen before because they’re in situations we haven’t seen them in before. As invested viewers we feel like we know these characters as whole people in every aspect of their lives when in fact, we’ve not seen Liza at the top of her game in her career or Josh as a parent or Charles in a romantic relationship or away from the office. So while the way they behave might not be the way we imagined it, to me it isn’t so much out of character as seeing a new dimension of the character. Also, the addition of flaws does not necessarily equate to destroying a character, it builds them out and makes them more real, if anything. 

In relation to Charles and Liza’s relationship and the ‘Charles is being shady’ concern, IMO the key purpose of that is to create tension and you can FEEL it building. As crazy as it may sound, I think the Liza/Charles dynamic thrives in the build and resolution of tension and that’s why their moments in this episode felt so electric and hot, it’s like those unspoken, unresolved tension points charge their chemistry. As much as I think I would love to have Charles and Liza sitting around blissfully happy (I mean, I would obvs), the reality is, it’s not that fun to watch. I believe the tension is building towards a resolution of sorts that will actually put them in a better place and move the relationship forward. (*Full disclosure: since writing this I listened to the podcast from ATX fest and Joe Murphy, one of the writers for Younger, said very similar things so if you listened to that podcast I promise I have not just taken what Joe said and pretended they’re my thoughts, I legit had this written and then heard (ngl, I may be feeling a little smug as a result). I’m putting it down to us both being Australian because clearly that is a thing that makes sense).

I also think there is an unsettled feeling this season because the entire premise of this show, the roles these characters played, the interactions we have grown accustomed to week after week, has been completely flipped upside down. As viewers we garner comfort from the routine of watching a show but also from knowing where the players are positioned, how they will behave and what it looks and feels like. I think the writers know exactly what they’re doing and are achieving exactly what they would’ve hoped (apologies writers if this is wildly inaccurate and I’m just assuming things incorrectly left, right and centre) - everyone is sitting in discomfort and it’s largely due to the unfamiliarity of it all. The set up, the way we’re seeing characters etc, it reflects what the characters themselves are experiencing on our screens, which is all kinds of meta and actually pretty cool. But the further you push that discomfort and make viewers sit in it, the greater the impact and more satisfying the resolution. It’s like waiting for a beat to drop in a song, the build up can become almost unbearable but damn it’s good when it lands. That’s how I feel this is all going to go. 

That is what I meant by this episode feeling like an apex, it feels as though there’s a limit to how far an audience can be taken in a state of flux without some resolve somewhere. And the writers know this, it’s what they do, it’s WHY we tune in. I’m not suggesting that everything is going to go back to the way it was, the evolution of a show like Younger is exciting and part of the fun is seeing where it goes, but we are three episodes in to a twelve episode season and while we consume it week to week, it ultimately has to make narrative sense across the whole season. It’s as though we’re at the end of an ‘establishing’ phase right now. So I am reserving any judgement until I see how it all comes together, but have no doubt there will be many resolutions and many new points of tension throughout.

Right now, I am thoroughly enjoying all that we’re getting and I think the writing this season has been excellent so far, with moments like the final scene of ‘The Unusual Suspect’ providing us with the first true cliffhanger of the season. Our last bit of Redmond for the ep was peak Redmond (I love that he dashed off to a better table uptown), and of course the big Mercury reveal, YESSS. That moment of realisation washing over Liza’s face, props to Sutton Foster, and I cannot WAIT to see how this all goes down. The prospect of inter-generational team ups of Kelsey/Liza vs. Zane/Charles while members of each team are in relationships with one another is the kind of set up I live for in a TV show. Is it July 10th yet?

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x03

This week’s episode of Younger, ‘The Unusual Suspect’, was a big one. No scenes felt wasted, each one moving the story along and it all felt very purposeful. Despite some capital H hotness and really light and funny moments being scattered throughout, mostly thanks to fave (and only) NYC agent Redmond and the resurrection of some truly classic Diana Trout, there was definitely the sense of tension on the rise. It’s been simmering since the end of this season’s first episode and I feel like this week we have hit an apex.

We open with brunch at Maggie’s and what one can only assume is a time jump (either that or Clare has recovered remarkably well from birthing a baby the size of a four month old) and right away an overarching theme for this episode is established, as Lauren enters raving about the latest hit podcast, Exonerated. I’m gonna come straight out and say that I am so into this premise. The excitement around the table sounded like the break room in my office most days, they definitely nailed the trend of true crime fixation. It immediately allowed for Maggie’s quip about white women loving murder, a delightful array of OTT facial expressions from Liza and Kelsey dropping in that Millennial will be meeting with Audrey Colbert, subject of the podcast, to nab her book before anyone else does. Of course the other big news is that Josh and Clare appear to be happily family-ing it up (though mommy wipes, daddy dipes = vom in my mouth a little bit) and Maggie is dealing with unresolved BoUBT (Back of Uber Birth Trauma). Lauren’s vow to help get Maggie back on the ‘h for hunt’ once again epitomises why I love her character so and I want to record her sympathetic ‘oh Divaaa’ as my ringtone. I just love that Maggie, of all characters, is the one who seems like she should be the most pragmatic when it comes to something like birth yet her coping level is zero here.

You know who else wasn’t coping? Me and my Liza and Charles loving heart as Liza suddenly up and left the brunch because she ‘was late for a thing’, cue the scene that was released as a sneak peek last week that I have definitely only watched a normal number of times *cough*. The set up for The Rubin Museum from the opening conversation was fab and the fact that Charles and Liza are using the podcast to frame up a role play situation is just too much. Obviously I had seen the scene prior to the ep and while it is certainly *insert flames here*, I can’t help but wonder what it would’ve been like not to have expected it (actual combustion probable). I mean regardless, I will never think about a trip to the museum in the same way again. The voice-over narrating what we were seeing was such a great device that is really different to anything the show has done before, it built the anticipation of what was playing out and it felt like a scene from a movie. The moment when Charles turned and came face to face with Liza was a great reminder of how electric the chemistry between these two can be (actual lightening bolts were sighted) and quite frankly, seeing these characters being adventurous and lustful in their relationship is a yes on all fronts. I think the fact it all took place in a place of intellect and culture was extra fitting, it somehow kept the whole thing true to the characters and I am here for the #nerdlove.

The office drama was amped this whole ep and that of course was largely due to the ever growing reign of our season 6 villain, Quinn. With the time jump since last episode confirmed by the fact that Quinn’s book is both published and sitting on the best seller list, Kelsey and Diana’s first encounter with Quinn as she uses the WiFi for a conference call included a) Diana saying goodbye in Mandarin, which was yet another lovely tidbit to add to this character while also setting up the classic Diana we got throughout this ep and; b) some of the best fashion and hairstyles all in one scene (and episode as a whole) ever. I mean the fashion on this show is always next level but this episode in particular took it up a notch: Diana’s high-neck printed electric blue top and Kelsey’s hair/makeup/outfit in the conference room were so stunning I was actually distracted by them.

Kelsey’s office refurb was also noted, loved Liza’s ‘set it (Claw) on fire’ comment and of course, Diana telling Kelsey that now she is publisher, maybe she should stop speaking like a trucker was D. Trout golden line no.1 for this episode. Even better was seeing Kelsey, Diana and Liza settling into this new way of working. I adore the dynamic between these three and the way we’re seeing Diana adjust to her former assistant now being a peer without a fuss is why this show is so wonderful. It would have been easy to have Diana trying to assert herself and maintain some sort of authority, but to see her just want to get on with the work and do the best job she can gives a great credibility to the notion that this character is the best in the industry. I could pretty much write out every Diana Trout line from ‘The Unusual Suspect’ and leave this entire ramble at that (’why is everybody in this country obsessed with true crime? Actual people have died and they’re selling branded beanies on Etsy’ LOLLLLL) but I would then need to do that for Redmond because the fave one and only agent in NYC was back this week and as always, he was in fine form.

The pitch of Audrey Colbert’s book is up there with the funniest scenes of this series, from the creepy af Audrey (A+ casting of Willa Fitzgerald) to Liza and Kelsey trying to play it cool while being hella freaked out to Redmond’s attempt to present a compelling pitch being railroaded by Audrey’s ‘crippling lack of media training’, it was Younger writing and delivery at its finest from start to finish. Seeing Redmond so unnerved by Audrey was unnerving in itself and really, I am so happy with the amount of Michael Urie in this episode. Our next encounter was of course when Kelsey and Liza interrupt his infrared sauna treatment (again, so many hilarious lines, I really feel that a transcript of the entire episode is about the only way to do it justice but may be problematic to pass off as a recap/review…or would it?) and discover that Audrey’s book is being shopped around thanks to the dagger next to Claw on the bestseller list, which = bulk sales = dodgy business = Chinese bots tweeting = Quinn is the worst (math doesn’t lie) = Audrey doesn’t want to be associated with anything suspicious on account of the fact she’s been accused of murdering two ppl (fair). I do want to back this truck up a little though to the way Kelsey and Liza discovered their next big hit was being pitched to half the major publishing houses around town.

Diana Trout hobbling into the office on crutches before dropping the bomb that her injury was the result of being so frazzled upon hearing the news re: Audrey going elsewhere, that she got caught up in her reformer (just go and re-watch this scene, you will not be sorry) is everything I never knew I wanted to see. The reference to Jackie Dunn, who you may remember has been a longstanding nemesis of sorts of Diana’s, was such an utter delight as a long time fan and once again, seeing Kelsey, Liza and Diana all equally vexed by the news was so great and continued to solidify them as a team. I promise no more direct quotes* (*this is a very loose promise), but ‘postpone the power-trip Kelsey, I am handicapped’ in response to Kelsey’s stunned expression upon Diana’s request for espresso, is so outrageously funny and makes this whole scene an absolute stand out on account of its hilarity.

I missed Lauren and Diana interacting this week, however I appreciated seeing Lauren be the wonderful friend she is to Maggie and Josh. Taking Maggie to the support group obviously allowed us to meet Beth, who Maggie engaged for some one on one tutoring (looking forward to seeing where that goes this season) after returning to the store to apologise for running out during the group session. While Maggie was lining up her ongoing therapy, Lauren and Josh shared a sweet and heartfelt moment that highlights why their friendship is such a lovely one on this show. Obviously Josh had told Lauren that he and Clare had a moment that made him think, ‘maybe we should make this relationship work’ and Lauren is following up to see where his head and heart are at.

I absolutely loved said scene between Clare and Josh, when he had finally settled the baby, asks Clare if she wants to go to her bed and then joins her on the floor when she says she sleeps where she can now. There was such a sense of unity and care and it made my heart swell. So in his discussion with Lauren we also find out the baby is named Gemma (last name TBC, for both father and daughter) and when pressed about what he actually wants, Josh reveals that he doesn’t think he and Clare are right for each other. I have said it before, but for all the wacky that Lauren can be, she is the most incredible friend who only wants the best for those around her in such a relentless and genuine way and this scene really highlighted that once again (the line about her dad having such a little bottom though brought us straight back to Lauren light in the best possible way).

The divorce proposal was such a great scene and while I was hoping that perhaps Clare and Josh could work things out, I am thrilled to see that the writers put both these characters on the same page right from the get go. I love that this show constantly bucks stereotypes and expectations of how certain characters and relationships will play out, so to see two adults who have an agreed desire to put their child first but know they need to do so outside a romantic relationship is something really unique on television. I have always enjoyed Josh and Clare’s dynamic and I hope we get to see a real, loving co-parenting arrangement play out.

Kelsey’s interaction with Zane when she was buying a bottle of Dom Perignon to celebrate scoring Audrey’s book (eek!) is my favourite interaction of theirs this season. Their banter was really effortless, Zane’s, ‘you’re not listening’, as he pulled out the cash to pay for the one remaining bottle smooth and a little bit over confident, but really played up that he has something in the works that is legit. I especially love that we later discover both are buying champagne to celebrate the same win. I feel like we also need to stop and appreciate that they were about to drop $400 between them on two bottles of bubbles like it was no big deal. What is this life? How do I get it?

Though admittedly Kelsey deserves a nice glass of something this ep considering all that she is dealing with. I have made no secret that I have struggled with Kelsey’s character these past couple of seasons and no one is more surprised than me at how much I am getting on board with her this season. Kelsey calling out Quinn point blank that she faked her best seller was so good to watch and seeing Liza backing her up and standing her own ground made this extra satisfying. Gah, I just LOVE how Laura Benanti plays Quinn and her stating that ‘the money is real, what else do you need?’ is so cold and matter-of-fact. What I love most about this whole confrontation is that it immediately made me think back to the first time we met Quinn - her whole presentation was about the fact that no one wants your success more than you do and that women helping women is actually holding women back. That right there should’ve been the red flag that her “helping” Liza and Kelsey was not legit.

And so her true motivation for investing in Empirical becomes evident. It had nothing to do with saving an ailing publishing house, it was to ensure her book would be published, she could have some control over how big it would become and be seen to have the support of a reputable publishing house, all in order to gain name recognition so she could successfully run for Senate. In her mind, Kelsey and Liza benefit from the whole thing financially so it’s a win win but she also holds the power so feels like she has the upper hand. Which is why the scene at The Cut (which is so fab, the looks Quinn shoots Kelsey are searing), when audience members question the dagger next to her book, is so damn satisfying. Kelsey’s move to announce Quinn’s run for Senate is so bold, I am very on board and boy oh boy Kels, I think you’ve got yourself quite the adversary. I was very much Liza watching this all unfold, shocked, impressed and a little bit scared for and of Kelsey and what this all means.

Now Liza was late to the event because she was living out the next chapter of the podcast at the Brownstone which we need to discuss, however I first owe some of you an apology. At the end of last week’s ramble I suggested you may need a fire blanket at the ready after seeing the museum scene sneak peek to you know, contain the flames. I fear some of you may have deployed it prematurely (this is not a euphemism though I am very aware it sounds like one) in response to how damn hot that scene was, but I was not to know that we were going to get this later scene, in which Liza just wanders into the townhouse BECAUSE SHE HAS A FREAKING KEY (suspected ep 2, confirmed ep 3, appreciated always) and decides to have a good old snoop at her bf’s mail. Similar to the museum scene, this set up felt more like a movie than a typical Younger episode. There was an ominous weight to it; the music, the lighting, the Charles padding silently up behind her (barefoot again?) and the tension was palpable.

Liza asks Charles about what’s going on, he provides a vague answer about moving some things around before asking her if she’s listened to chapter 7 of Exonerated, which conveniently mirrors almost exactly what just occurred, with Audrey’s ex finding her going through his things. Ok, so this is where it gets tricky for me. This entire exchange, from the way these two fall into that speaking in third person and wrapping a narrative around themselves, the way Charles wraps his arms around her, the way they look at each other, I mean, this whole thing makes my heart spontaneously combust because it is sexy and flirty, dripping with desire and just really really hot *reaches for backup fire blanket*. But then Liza is clearly distracted by that letter and Charles’ deflection and part of me is wondering why on Earth she isn’t pressing him harder for an answer or following up, I mean, we saw how open they were with one another last season, but then the other part of me looks at Liza and thinks, you are a person who has eyes and that whole situation is right there in front of you so I get it, go with it and worry about it later.

I am aware of how long this ramble already is, but I am going to do something a little different here and digress slightly from the episode itself and put out some conjecture on my part. It could well be completely over-analysing (lol, I’m neck deep into a freaking novella about a 25 min episode of TV, I think that’s a given) but I know that there is concern about Charles behaving secretively and I have seen some people expressing disappointment in this season so far.

For what it’s worth, my take on it is that it might seem as though some of the characters are behaving a little out of character but I feel that actually, the characters are behaving in ways we haven’t seen before because they’re in situations we haven’t seen them in before. As invested viewers we feel like we know these characters as whole people in every aspect of their lives when in fact, we’ve not seen Liza at the top of her game in her career or Josh as a parent or Charles in a romantic relationship or away from the office. So while the way they behave might not be the way we imagined it, to me it isn’t so much out of character as seeing a new dimension of the character. Also, the addition of flaws does not necessarily equate to destroying a character, it builds them out and makes them more real, if anything.

In relation to Charles and Liza’s relationship and the ‘Charles is being shady’ concern, IMO the key purpose of that is to create tension and you can FEEL it building. As crazy as it may sound, I think the Liza/Charles dynamic thrives in the build and resolution of tension and that’s why their moments in this episode felt so electric and hot, it’s like those unspoken, unresolved tension points charge their chemistry. As much as I think I would love to have Charles and Liza sitting around blissfully happy (I mean, I would obvs), the reality is, it’s not that fun to watch. I believe the tension is building towards a resolution of sorts that will actually put them in a better place and move the relationship forward. (*Full disclosure: since writing this I listened to the podcast from ATX fest and Joe Murphy, one of the writers for Younger, said very similar things so if you listened to that podcast I promise I have not just taken what Joe said and pretended they’re my thoughts, I legit had this written and then heard (ngl, I may be feeling a little smug as a result). I’m putting it down to us both being Australian because clearly that is a thing that makes sense).

I also think there is an unsettled feeling this season because the entire premise of this show, the roles these characters played, the interactions we have grown accustomed to week after week, has been completely flipped upside down. As viewers we garner comfort from the routine of watching a show but also from knowing where the players are positioned, how they will behave and what it looks and feels like. I think the writers know exactly what they’re doing and are achieving exactly what they would’ve hoped (apologies writers if this is wildly inaccurate and I’m just assuming things incorrectly left, right and centre) - everyone is sitting in discomfort and it’s largely due to the unfamiliarity of it all. The set up, the way we’re seeing characters etc, it reflects what the characters themselves are experiencing on our screens, which is all kinds of meta and actually pretty cool. But the further you push that discomfort and make viewers sit in it, the greater the impact and more satisfying the resolution. It’s like waiting for a beat to drop in a song, the build up can become almost unbearable but damn it’s good when it lands. That’s how I feel this is all going to go.

That is what I meant by this episode feeling like an apex, it feels as though there’s a limit to how far an audience can be taken in a state of flux without some resolve somewhere. And the writers know this, it’s what they do, it’s WHY we tune in. I’m not suggesting that everything is going to go back to the way it was, the evolution of a show like Younger is exciting and part of the fun is seeing where it goes, but we are three episodes in to a twelve episode season and while we consume it week to week, it ultimately has to make narrative sense across the whole season. It’s as though we’re at the end of an ‘establishing’ phase right now. So I am reserving any judgement until I see how it all comes together, but have no doubt there will be many resolutions and many new points of tension throughout.

Right now, I am thoroughly enjoying all that we’re getting and I think the writing this season has been excellent so far, with moments like the final scene of ‘The Unusual Suspect’ providing us with the first true cliffhanger of the season. Our last bit of Redmond for the ep was peak Redmond (I love that he dashed off to a better table uptown), and of course the big Mercury reveal, YESSS. That moment of realisation washing over Liza’s face, props to Sutton Foster, and I cannot WAIT to see how this all goes down. The prospect of inter-generational team ups of Kelsey/Liza vs. Zane/Charles while members of each team are in relationships with one another is the kind of set up I live for in a TV show. Is it July 10th yet?