#and some of the days i drank coffee i was fine. so riddle me. that

[ghostcrows]

Check out the #gallbladder tag when you get a chance

[wthcew]

JayTim, flirting, falling in love and cuddles and JJ Tim who gor adopted by Harley and Ivy pretty please??

Sweetie, you just jumped on my train of JJ fics, I hope you don't mind that I added a little bit of smut

I'm so sorry it took me that long to write it, I hope you like it!

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30 days

_____________________________________________

The first time he heard about it he was under the ground. He felt like he was choking, his helmet somewhere unknown and with it his communication with Oracle. He isn't talking to B (not after he chose the fucking Joker over him) but he does help Nightwing sometimes, and oh, did he wished right now that he would have never let Dick in his safehouse.

Nightwing and Red Hood were about to bust a drag ring, but the thing is, it was an ambush, so now they're both under ground, Hood's leg impaled to the ground by an iron pillar from one of the walls that exploded and that they're buried under, his helmet in an unknown place and 'wing trying to call for help.

Jason tried to slow his breath but being under ground is bringing back bad memories (He can't breathe, he's locked, and all he want right now is his dad-) of being six feet under and he's hysterical- because everything is hurting and broken and half his face are burned and he can't breathe so please, please he just want his dad, "please dad come save me"-

He's so gone into his mind, letting his panic control him that he's flinching away when Dick touching his shoulder, but it's pulling him out of his head (and just when did the tears started to spill out of his eyes?), and Dick is looking at him, the whites lenses of his domino mask are gone and instead Jason's getting those blue eyes that are full with concern.

"It's okay Jay" Dick smiled at him, a small smile that somehow made Jason believe that it's okay. "B and baby bat are on their way right now," Dick's hand found Jason's and he squeezed it in reassuring. Jason returned the squeeze. "We will be fine"

...

"Did someone ever told you about the kid who almost killed Joker?" Dick asked after couple minutes of silence, when Jason's breath is under control and he isn't so much as hysterical as he was couple of minutes before.

Jay turned his head to Dick, "No" his voice was hoarse, too hoarse for his own ears but Dick didn't seems to mind, he just nodded his head and smiled softly at him.

"He was thirteen years old back then, Joker took him, when Babs still was Batgirl" And at that moment Dick's comn beeped and after five minutes they were out of the ground, Bruce and Damian next to Dick, checking if he's fine while Jason took his helmet, the hole in his leg isn't that bad and when Dick looking at him the Red Hood already swing away.

_____________________________________________

The second time he heard about it was because he wanted to, he was curious and he wanted to know what happened to the kid, what made a thirteen years old kid almost kill the Joker.

So, he was on his couch, his leg bandaged and a cup of hot tea on the coffe table, his laptop open and working and the reading lamp's orange light made his shadow look like some villain from kids cartoon.

It's hard to find anything about it but he is (A bat) Red Hood, if he wants to he'll find out what happened back then. And he want to.

So Jason cracked his fingers and started to work.

The seconds became to minutes that became to hours of work and clicking on his keyboard, it's hard to find anything because apparently this whole story is shushed and all Jason gathered until now came from a video of the news report and all they said there was that Joker broke out of Arkham and decided he wanted a son, kidnapped some unlucky kid and deleted the boy's personality with electrical shocks until he becamed Joker Junior, and then he kept torturing the kid until the Batman and Batgirl found the kid, broken minded and holding a gun to Joker's head.

It was quite the story, but Jason didn't know what happened later, who the kid was or what happened to him.

But he will, just to know if the kid's okay. Or to ask why he hadn't pulled the trigger..

So he kept digging, looking for anything that may conect to the story. And that's how Jason found himself reading article about Jack and Jent Drake disowning their only child Tim Drake. The kid was only thirteen back then, and all he took before he took off from the face of earth was a stuffed Kola and a camra.

And it may be his curiosity about this because he don't remember the kid and apparently they were neighbors or the JJ thing but he knows that he'll find Tim Drake.

_____________________________________________

Jent Drake died two years after she disowned Tim in a car crash, her husband got depressed and started looking for Tim to reown him but then he met Dana Winters.

There was some love story there that Jason wasn't really that interested in reading but in the end they married and left Gotham, never coming back. And the most annoying thing is, that Tim was never found.

But he did found out that there was some kid that helped Harley and Ivy sometimes, he had a faded red hoodie and faded green jeans.

The hoodie's hat always hiding his face and from the little Jason saw, his skin was more white than normal human skin.

Jason couldn't find a lot of photos of the kid but he did find one of Harley hugging the kid.

Jason looked at the photo, it was fuve years old, when Tim desperate and all the JJ thing happened. The way he held himself was familiar to Jason, something deep in his mind, memories that he couldn't remember, but it was there, and Jason knows that this Tim kid is JJ who is also somehow Harley's kid.

_____________________________________________

"I need your help"

"Oh that's nice, what aby 'hey Babs, how was your day? Did Dick pissed you off and going to sleep on the couch tonight? Can you please help me with this thing?'"

Jason smiled, shifting the phone that was pressed against his ear "What did Dick did?"

"He was a dick"

"How was your day?"

"What did you wanted help with Jay?"

"Clown boy"

"Hmm?"

"Joker Junior"

A sharp breath "What about him?"

"You know who he is?"

"We found him after he took a dip in the acid, and he was dressed like the Joker, too much make up, green hair, purple suit, couldn't recognise him"

"But you know don't you?"

"Batman doesn't know"

"Well you're Oracle not Batman. It's simple question O, you know? Yes or no?"

"I know"

"I think I know too"

"Who do you think it is?"

"Tim Drake"

"..Yes it's him"

"Why didn't you told Bruce?

"He's a good kid"

"He's with Harley now"

"Tim isn't bad"

"Babs, if he's Joker Junior and he's with Harley he can't be that good"

"Jay, Harley and Ivy gave me the tip to find him and Harley took him in after his parents disowned him, he may be stilling sometimes or helping Harley and Ivy but he is good"

"You kept tabs on him?"

"He's smart, he may have lost a lot of his memories because of the Joker and he is crazy but he have support"

"Does Bruce know you're helping hiding him?"

"No, and he wouldn't. Not until Tim decided that it's fine"

"You're in contact?"

"We're just talking, I'm sending him puzels and riddles and it's helping him keep clean mind"

"Can I talk to him?"

"I can't tell you where he is but I also can't stop you from doing this"

"Thank you Babs"

"Not a problem Jaybird"

_____________________________________________

It was a week later that Jason walked into a small unnoticed coffee shop.

The design of the place gave him a feeling of happiness, like it was some kind of home.

He looked through everyone there, couple next to the window, three old ladies sitting in a table for four, chatting and laughing, couple of collage students sitting with something to eat and something warm to drink and typing on their laptops, and on the farthest side of the coffee shop, in a table for two, sat a teen, his hands paler than any human skin, his long hair hiding his face, a coffee cup in front of him and his legs shacking.

"Hello! Can I help you?" A cheerful voice called from the cashier desk, he put on a smile on his face and turned to see a black haired girl, with a big smile on her face.

"Yeah, do you have Eral Gray?"

"We do! Anything else with this?"

"No, thank you"

"Okay, just a minute"

When he got his cup he paid the girl murmuring a "Thank you" and walking to Tim.

When he sat down in front of the teen, icy blue eyes looked at his face, and his breath hitched when he saw the little cuts on at each end of his mouth, creating a smile.

"Hey" Jason said, smiling at Tim.

"Hey.." Tim's voice almost didn't reached his ears and Jason's smile grew wider when Tim smiled at him. A shy little amazing smile.

"I'm Jason"

"T-Tim"

"Nice to meet you"

"Why are you here?"

"I wanted tea"

"You aren't scared?" Tim's eyes looked a bit insane when he said the last word, his smile grew wider and he leaned closer to the table. The cuts on his face and his pale skin made him look like Joker but there was also something else there, something in his eyes that said 'Pleas don't be scared' and Jason swallowed and forced his nerves to calm down.

"No, you actually seems nice"

Tim blinked once.

Twice.

And then his smile became nicer, less dangerous and more shy. He relaxed and took a sip from his coffee.

Jason smiled, sipping from his own cup while making a note in his head to be careful with this one.

They drank a couple more cups together, chatting about nothing in particular and when Tim excused himself and left, Jason found a paper next to the cup.

He opened it because of his dammed curiosity and bis breath hitched.

'Ha ha ha'

_____________________________________________

It was in the middle of the night, the streets lamps flickered on and off every couple of seconds, and the stars were hidden in the sky, behind the clouds.

His parents just left the town. Without telling him. Again. And it's fine, he can't be mad at his parents for leaving him -he is, like his mother says, rotten child- all the time.

But sometimes he wonders if he'll ever be good enough for them to stay. If he'll ever be good enough so his mother wouldn't need to hiss his name through clench teeth and his father to hit him.

Maybe he would never be good enough..

In those nights when he wonders about it, he goes to a walk. It's always makes him calm and shuts his mind down. It's leaving him with the feeling of wholenesses, like some how the wind that hit his body in cold sharp hit is welcoming, or the cold of the night is like his stuffed Kola -the one he got from Bruce Wayne In a gala that his parents hosted when he was four and since then he hides it from his parents and hugging it when he need comfort- or like the silence out here is better than the silence inside the empty house.

And maybe, just maybe hr would see his heros.

And as Tim kept walking he could barely hear this cursed laugh, followed by the soft like song-

Mary had a little lamb

Little lamb, little lamb

Mary had a little lamb...

"Cutie pie?" His mama's voice rang, it was muffled but it was still there. "I'm hearing laughing, it's a good joke?"

A knock on his door "Sweetheart?" His laugh grew and his eyes burned, tears dropping from his eyes.

"Timmy?"

He hugged his legs to his chest, laughing and crying and this song is stuck in his head and he can't stop it and-

"Mary had a little lamb"

Mama's hands are around him, hugging him and petting his hair "Shhh shh shh, everything's fine baby, I'm here"

He can't breathe and the song is on full volume in his head but mama's here and mama is safety, she's safety. He's safe. Safe

_____________________________________________

"What the hell were you thinking?" Oracle's voice rang through the comn in his helmet.

"You need to be more specific than that O"

"Tim blocked me, Selina is mad at Bruce because one of his kids hurt her niece, Harley and Tim are nowhere to be found and Selina and Ivy are planning something"

"I didn't hurt Tim and I don't know why you told ma all the other stuff"

"Hood, Tim's smart, maybe too much smart but his mind is broken, he's crazy and genius"

"Okay and..?"

"He wants to go -and I’m quoting him- Boom he always wanted everyone to know that he's Harley's kid, and I always made him take more time, think about it more the fact that he blocked me means that I can't tell him to sit back anymore"

"You can remove it though"

"I did, and he just throw his phone away"

"So I broke him?"

"No, Joker broke him you just set him off"

"Shit"

"Yes. Shit"

_____________________________________________

"Wohhooo" Was shout out to the sky as Tim set in shopping cart, Harley -in her rollerblades- holding the handles of the cart, and they're both 'driving' down a road, laughing.

The air hit Tim's face in the best way he could have ever imagined and he laughed so hard that his cheedk burned, and maybe he ripped his stiches oncr again today but he dosen't care.

He is happy. So, so happy, like he was with this hot guy in the coffee shop, before his meltdown.

But right now, right now it's all this.

His mama and him, having fun, his mom and aunty kitty somewhere doing her own thing and everything's okay.

He laughed again as they started to speed up, the wind throwing his hair in any direction possible.

After a few minutes they cane to a stop, his mama's smile is so loving and he hopes that his smile is loving as well.

"Come on sweetie, let's do it" Harley smiled as she gave him the lighter, he jumped out of the cart and lit the lighter, his eyes sparking as the fire started spreading.

Tim and Harley walked away because they're crazy not stupid.

There faces lit up as the fireworks blew and flew to the sky.

Harley hugged him from behind and he relaxed into his mama's touch, watching the fireworks becoming to words that are shining over Gotham's sky.

30 days

_____________________________________________

"Hey Hoodie" A cheerful voice called from behind him.

Red Hood turned around, a gun in his hand just to be met with Tim's lovely smile.

"Chill, chill" The teen said, holding his hands up "I'm not going to hurt you"

"What do you want?" Hood asked, lowering his gun.

"We have never met have we?" Tim said, his smile calm

"I don't think so"

"No, but I did met Robin"

"So you met the Demon"

Tim frowned "No. The second one."

"Don't know him"

"Red Hood can't meet Robin II"

"And why's that?"

"Robin II's dead, dad killed him" Tim shock his head "I don't like dad, I liked Robin II and dad did it because it's funny. It's not!"

Tim looked so frustrated, his eyes big and he's looking at Jason like he hope that he would understand that and, something in Jason change, his face are softer under the helmet and-

"Okay Tim, I know you aren't the Joker."

"I didn't met *you* but we did met, I know Robin and I know Jason and now I know Red Hood?"

"You know who I am"

"No, no no no!" Tim looked him straight in the eyes, like he could see his face behind the helmet "You're Red Hood now, you were Robin and you always were Jason but now you Red Hood, I don't know Red Hood!"

"Okay, okay, relax, you don't know Red Hood, that's fine"

"I need to know Red Hood"

"Why?"

"Because I need Red Hood to help me"

"You need help?"

"Yes"

"Okay, but why Red Hood?"

"Because.. Ummm because- Because of Dad! I need Red Hood to help me kill dad"

To kill.. the Joker.

To kill the Joker.

The Joker dead.

'Yes'

"I would help you, Red Hood and Jason, okay?"

Tim nodded "Yeah, okay."

The sky started to glow and they both looked up, looking at fireworks that formed

29 days

_____________________________________________

It was so logical and simple that Jason almost laugh.

He sat next to Tim in some small safehouse, looking at Tim up and down as he was solving Sudoku.

They're waiting for the others to decide exactly who will go in and kill this son of a bitch and aho will make sure that everyone else will be present in that day.

They are waiting for Tim's small family, and Jason smiled at the thought of this family, he once had one and then he died and he was replaced by Stephanie Brown who is now Batgirl so they're fine now. But he doesn't have this family now, all he have are some blurred memories.

Tim let out a little "Yay" with a cute, small giggle that made Jason smile.

"Hey!" Tim suddenly said, looking at Jason with big eyes, Jason looked around him, trying to find something that would make Tim look panoco "What-"

"Are you hurt?" Tim's voice was soft and caring and Jasom heart might have skipped a beat, "No?"

"Than why do you have split lip and bruise on your jaw?"

"I've got into a fight, it's not serious" But Tim was there in seconds, his worry eyes looking at Jason's jaw and just wow- Jason swallowed the lump in his throat when Tim's slender finger touched his lip and-

"I've the best thing to help!" Tim pulled away and his finger caressed Jason's lip in a way that made Jason hold his breath.

And in the next moment Tim putted a chocolate bar in his hand, smiling at him "It help!" He said and Jason huffed a laugh, mentally shacking his head.

"Thanks Timmy" Jason said an smile on his face, opening the chocolate and cutting a line.

It was milk chocolate with pop candy and it was amazing, Jason hummed as he ate it, looking at Tim solving a new sudoku.

After the meeting (if it even can be called that) Jason took the rest of the chocolate bar, just to have something sweet after patrol tonight.

_____________________________________________

Jason stripped from his Red Hood gear, stretching his hands out and poping his back.

He took a quick shower and pulled on a sweat pants and grey hoodie from the deep of his closest 'Maybe it's time to do the laundry'.

Jason smiled as the sky were lit in 25 Days and turned the lamp off.

His lip tickled as some kind of reminder that Tim touched him there, he looked so worried and that just warmed Jason's heart.

And that amazing chocolate- maybe he will have to get hurt more just to have it.

He closed hid eyes, ready to fall asleep and then it hit him-

Oh.

Oh.

Oh shit.

He- he have a crush.

_____________________________________________

The sun was in the middle of the sky when Jason woke up, blinking into the darkness because the blinds are close.

He groaned as he stretched his body, still in the bed under the warmth of the fluffy blanket. The sleepiness still has her claws clutching on him and made Jason wonder why the hell his bed isn't as comfy whenever he's trying to sleep but is when he tries to wake up.

He almost fell asleep again, but the *Bam! Bam! Bam!* on his door made him jolt up from the bed, the gun that he hides between the mattress and the bed in his hand, walking to the living room without making a sound, looking through the peep hole.

He huffed in relief, opening the door looking at Dick who smiled at him. "You woke me up you asshole"

"Sorry little wing" But Dick didn't sounded sorry at all and that just made him groan.

Jason followed Dick to the kitchen after Dick let himself in, the door closing behind them.

"What are you doing here?"

"I can't visit my little brother?"

"Not your brother" Jason turned around to the pantry to take out a tea bag just when Dick flinched from the words as if they're physically harming him.

"You're my brother, even if you don't see it like that"

"Dick."

"No! You're my brother, I count you as my brother" Dick snap and Jason would lie if he said that that didn't touched his heart, even if it's not true because in the end Dick have his new little brother and also a sister and it's really is fine that Jason isn't part of his family. It is.

So he didn't reply to it, just let Dick think what he wants to. "Do you want to tell me why you actually came or what?" He asked as he started to boil water.

"I wanted to talk to you"

"About?"

"You said you'd this case, how's it going?"

Jason took the teapot off the gas, pouring the hot water to his glass, "I didn't told anyone that I've a case"

"Well no but Babs told me"

"Babs don't know, and she would have asked if she wanted to know" Jason took a sip from his cup and turned around to glare at the older man "What it really is about?"

"Bruce saw you with Harley and Ivy and their kid and he wants to know what you all doing"

Jason saw red for a moment and them took a calming breath, a long sip from his tea and walked his way toward the island, putting his mug down and glaring at his so called brother.

"So you're here on a mission?" His voice was cold and full with venom.

"N-no!"

Jason raised an eyebrow "You just said it"

"I don't care what B wanted, I came for my brother"

"Damian isn't here"

"Jason!"

"What? You want me to say that you didn't came because Bruce said something on me? You don't want to know what I'm doing with Harley, Ivy and their kid? Ah? That's what you're telling me?"

"I-"

"Ha! And you just said we're brothers!"

"We are Jason"

"No! You have your own little family, I'm not part of it, never was!"

"You are! You always were and you always will be!"

And at that moment Jason saw green, throwing his mug down on the island, the shatterd flew everywhere and the hot water started to drip down to the floor.

And as a last resort Dick yelled "TIM DRAKE!"

It made Jason blink, and look at Dick, "What did you just said?"

"Tim Drake, it's this boy Joker kidnapped, Harley and Ivy's kid"

"How do you know this?"

"Well, family of detectives and all"

"What do you want?"

"Is he threating you?"

"What? No!"

"Jay, you can tell me the truth"

"Oh I can?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Okay so fuck off"

"Wh-what?"

"The truth is that I want you to fuck off and don't ever come back. Bye."

"..Jay.."

"I'll throw you out of the window"

"Okay, okay. But.."

"Go!" _____________________________________________

Tim sat on an air conditioner motor that was on the roof of a building, his legs tangling down, one shoe red with zigzag lines on it and the other one yellow with glitters. His pants in a fading green colour and a black-blue t-shirt. And Jason just looked, glad that his helmet hiding his face as a stupid smile crossed his face.

"Hoodie hood!" Tim's cheerful voice made Jason's smile wider, and Tim pushed himself of the air conditioner motor, when his feet touched the roof his yellow shoe started to sparkle with light, like little kids shoes.

"Hey clown kid" Tim smiled, something sweet and beautiful that made butterflies fly in Jason's belly.

"I don't like this helmet today" Tim said, his hands touching lightly at the sides of the red helmet.

"And why's that?"

"I can't see your hair. I love your hair!"

Jason smiled, Tim was just... just.

"Thanks baby clown, I love your hair too"

"Baby clown?"

"Yup"

"I like it"

"Good"

Tim took Jason's hand in his and started walking them to the air conditioner motor.

They both sat down, Tim's hands now in his lap and Jason opened his helmet, setting it next to him.

Tim looked at him, his blue icy eyes glinted and a small smile on his face. Jason looked right back at him, the blue-green eyes looking like some amazing place that kids are being told about in fairy tales.

Jason don't know who moved first, or what exactly happened. All he knows is that Tim is sitting in his lap, Tim's hands in his hair and Jason hugging him close. There mouths pressing against each other's. Tim's mouth have this amazing chocolate taste, a hint of coffee and Tim.

In the dark sky above of them, the fireworks draw the 18 days.

_____________________________________________

Jason is happy. Like really truly happy. He couldn't stop smiling this stupid love sick smile since the kiss.

He met Tim every patrol and those small kiss were the best, 10/10 would definitely do again.

Tim's cute and smart and he seems to really like Jason which is amazing because Jason really like him too.

None of the Bats came to annoy him, and everything is just amazing. For once in his life everything is just good.

His grapple gun shot to the next building and the cold wind never felt better. As Red Hood's boots hit the roof a "Hey there, love bird" greeted him.

"Cat," He called back, doing a small '*hi*' with his hand "'sup?"

"We need to talk"

"About?"

"Tim"

Jason sat next to her, his legs tangling down from the roof, "You here to give me the talk?"

"Not the talk you think about, I'll that to his moms"

"Then what talk?"

"Are you serious with him?"

"For now.. for now yes" he said with a bit hesitation.

Selina nodded "That's good for me"

"Thank you?"

"You're welcome sweetie, anyway you nrrd to be careful with Timmy"

"I know that, I wasn't born yesterday Cat"

She huffed a laugh, "Oh I know that sweetie, but you still need to know about Tim's past"

"Isn't he supposed to tell me about it? In his own time?"

"He will, I'm going to tell you only things that he won't because it's a trigger for him"

"The torture?"

"Yes, the torture, and what lead to his kidnapping, and it'll give you an idea yo what his parents were like"

Jason looked at her in the eyes, seriousness burns in them. "Okay, let's hear the story" _____________________________________________

His parents left again, it has been hours since the screaming stopped, his cheeks were wet from tears and his eyes red.

He was hiding in the closet, his hands holding his stuffed Kola close, his left arm is numb except for the cut on it, but it's a small cut and he deserved it. He isn't supposed to talk back to his father.

The dry blood on his arm itched and he needs to treat the cut, but he don't want to move. The closest is a safe place because mother and father can't get in.

New tears slipping down his face and he hugs the Kola tighter.

_____________________________________________

When Tim woke up his neck hurt and his left arm felt like a million fire ants stung her.

He opened the closest door, stumbling out of there holding the Kola in one hand, dropping it on his bed and walking to the bathroom, pulling the first aid kit from under the sink, treating his wound with a hiss of pain.

A quick glance out of the window and he knows it's in the middle of the night, and his parents were supposed to stay home for more couple of days but once again they just left the town. Without telling him. Again. And it's fine, he can't be mad at his parents for leaving him -he is, like his mother says, rotten child- all the time.

But he doesn't have something to do now, and his arm's fine, he can go out and see Batman, and maybe Robin too. Though Robin isn't around a lot now, maybe something happened... _____________________________________________

The streets lamps flickered on and off every couple of seconds, and the stars were hidden in the sky, behind the clouds.

The cold wind hit him merciless, but it just made him smile, he loves the winter. It always made him feel better with himself.

His camera clutched in his hands, his black stocking cap falling on his eyes every couple of minutes, and yes it may be annoying but it's also letting him something to do, because tonight he can't find Batman...

What the hour anyway? Maybe he's late and Batman's back in the cave...

And then he could hear it, some quiet voice singing.. Maybe a kid.. What if the kid need help?

"Hello?' he called out, moving closer to the voice, he can hear the words now.

"Mary had a little lamb Little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb..." _____________________________________________

He cried out, pain strobes through all hid body, tears on his face and blood run down his chine and neck

This psycho laugh making him shiver and try to run away. This hateful song in the background..

And this voice.. "Come on Little Lamb, be a good son for little old me, and tell me. What's. Your. Name?"

"T-Tim"

He screamed as he got electriced again. _____________________________________________

He is shacking, scared out of his mind, tears rolling down his face. And it doesn't stop.

He can barely breathe, the electrical shock isn't stopping. And Tim is honest to God scared.

He don't know what's next to come, he can't actually believe it's happening and everything- everything hurt.

He can feel himself leaving his body, his heart- _____________________________________________

He woke up, everything is hurting again and the fucking Joker is looking at him, this psychotic smile on his face-

"Welcome back my Little Lamb"

-And this horrible song again

"Mary had a little lamb Little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb..." _____________________________________________

"What's your name?"

"Tim!" _____________________________________________

"What's. Your. Name?"

"Ti-" _____________________________________________

"Your name?"

He don't even* know *anymore, and it's really frustrating... _____________________________________________

He is laughing. A manic good laugh. Happy laugh.

He's happy because he remembers who he is and it's funny- why did he forgot anyway?

"What's your name?"

"JJ!" _____________________________________________

He laughed as his dad cut his face open do he'll always smile. He laughed as dad throw him to the acid. He laughed as dad painted his hair.

He laughed and he laughed, and laughed and laughed-

But it's not funny anymore- dad isn't here and his hair is black... JJ scowled at the mirror, dad don't like his hair black. He like green. Yes, green hair and purple suit, and red- red, red, red blood. And it's funny- everything funny so hr laughs, but the mirror- The shattered glass flew everywhere and it's so funny that he can't stop laughing-

"Timothy!" Mother's standing by the door, she looks horrified.. it's not funny anymore- it's not-

He can't breathe, he stumbles backwards, tears rolling down his face and he. Can't. Stop. Laughing. _____________________________________________

One night he heard his mother and father talking. It's not fine, but what is fine anymore? He's finally Tim but he's also JJ and it's so confusing.

"I can't look at him anymore Jack, he is pathetic!"

"I know Janet, don't worry"

Tim chokes a whimper. _____________________________________________

The next week Ivy and Harley found Tim trying to drown himself and took him in... _____________________________________________

Jason took in a deep breath, his eyes wet and his heart ache for his little clown.

"It's..."

Catwoman gave him a small smile, "A lot? I know. Those are once of the memories Tim still have"

"I'm- I can't even-" Cat smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder.

The words 13 Days shined in the sky above them.

_____________________________________________

"Hood" Oracle's voice filled his helmet.

"O, how many times do I need to ask you not to hack my helmet?"

Oracle completely ignored him "How's Tim been?"

Jason swallow, he forgot that Babs is actually one of those people who really care about Tim (and him. Because Babs amazing).

"He's been good, happy" Just like Jason. It's like they feel the same thing. He can see Babs smile in his mind at that, like something changed in the weather just because of what he said, and it pulled a smile in his face.

"That's good, how are you?"

"Same as Tim"

And now he can hear her smile when she talks "I'm happy to hear that."

"How are you O? Does Dick head annoying you? 'cuz I can beat him if you need"

O snorted, "Two days sleeping on the sofa and he'll be begging for my forgiveness"

Jason laughed. And they kept talking about nothing for two more minutes, before Babe had to go.

And that's when Jason shot his grapple to another roof and went flying in the sky, the feeling of happiness all over his body.

But it all stopped when hr heard it.

It came straight out of his nightmares, something from his deepest fears.

This manic laugh. Joker's laugh.

And no just no. Thete's no way this stupid fucker got out again.

He dropped to the ground with a thud sound, looking for the fucker but instead seeing a group of teenagers, kicking someone on the ground.. someone who couldn't stop laughing like the Joker and his heart stopped beating for a second when he realised who it is.

A shot noise ripped through the air and the teens stopped, looking back at the red hood holding a gun at one of them.

All he needed to do wad to say "Go. Away" and the teens ran away, leaving Tim on the ground, hugging his legs to his chest, blood and tears mixed together on his face, and he couldn't breathe because the laughing wouldn't stop.

Jason hurried to him, helping him to sit up and uncurl himself, unable to look over Tim's face since he wouldn't let him.

"Tim, sweetie, my baby clown," Jason kissed his cheek, hugging him close to him "It's me, remember? Red Hood"

And at that Tim's head moved, looking up at him. Eyes full of tears and his face twitched in this manic smile, blood dripping down from the now open cuts in his chicks to his chin.

"Timmy babe, can you hear me?" He received a small and hesitate nod that he took as yes.

"Can you give me your hands?" He asked, showing Tim his gloved hands. The smaller man put his hands in his, feeling the fabric.

Tim relaxed, his eyes fixed on the red helmet, the tears stopped rolling down his face.

The laughing quiet down a bit, but still were there.

"You remember me, right? We are friends, hell I'm hoping even more than friends"

Tim nodded, but Jason wasn't sure what he was agreeing with so he just kept talking.

"We have this amazing plan, because you are my little smarty boy right?"

Tim could take in a breath and that was good, he wasn't laughing anymore but he also didn't talk exactly, just watched Jason and every couple of seconds squeezed one of his hands (never the both of them together for some reason).

"Hell I even kissed you that night and it was the greatest thing in the whole world baby clown"

"No." Tim's tiny voice waved on the air.

"Hah?" If Tim didn't like Jason like that... It would be ok, he will be heart breaked for a few days but he would be fine at the end... Somehow.

"I kissed you" Tim said, looking at him with this witty little smile that Jason grew to love so much.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah" a small smile tug on Jason's lips, and their lips met. It was amazing just like the first time they kissed, and it sent sparkles down Jason's body.

And after a minute he let go, both of them taking deep breath.

"Come on baby clown, let's go to my home"

Tim took his hand and he pulled him up, hugging the smaller man.

The words 7 Days exploded in the sky exactly when they reached Jason's apartment.

_____________________________________________ 

Waking up with Tim by his side is amazing.

The smaller man was curled next to him, a hand clutching at the fabric of his shirt. The long black hair messed up but still so beautiful. Tim's face relaxed, a samll smile on his face.

Last night Jason gave him one of his own shirts, and the younger basically swam in the white shirt.

Jason looked at the paler than normal skin that was now available. It was in the same colour of the shirt.

He pulled Tim closer to him, kissing the beautiful man's forehead and closing his eyes.

Immediately going back to the welcoming blackness of sweat dreamless sleep. _____________________________________________

The next time he woke up was because Tim wasn't next to him.

Jason didn't know exactly why he woke up because of that, but the moment Tim's weight left his body his eyes snapped open, meating beautiful blue eyes.

Tim smiled at him, a sleepy smile. His hair a whole lot of mess and Jason's heart beated faster as he smiled back.

The sun was already in the middle of the sky and the clock on the wall said it was already one A.M.

"Mornin' Jay" Tim whispered.

"Morning baby clown" _____________________________________________

They ate together, silence surrounding them in the most comfortable way.

Jason couldn't exactly point it out but something about Tim made him.... just feel whole. Like he didn't felt since he woke up six feet deep.

Both of them were in Jason clothes and Jason found out that for some unknown reason, white looked better at pale skin.

And Tim.. Tim was the most beautiful human he saw. His blue eyes, his black long hair, and this perfect smile. Jason started asking what he fucking did right to get this angel. _____________________________________________

He didn't knew how it happened but Tim's hot wet mouth was on him and he was practically in heaven.

His hands gripped the black hair and pulled slightly, making Tim moan and himself gasping as the moans vibrate on him.

He was definitely in heaven and this angel between his legs was the most perfect thing to ever happen to him.

"Oh God" he said and moaned Tim's name, his legs shacking.

"Tim I'm about to-" and with that he came down Tim's throat, the angel swallowed it and looked him in the eyes, giving him this beautiful smile. And well, Jason might die happy this time around. _____________________________________________

This night he hugged Tim closed to him, the smaller man hugging him back.

Outside the words 6 Days colored the black sky with pink, green and yellow.

_____________________________________________

It was simple. Very simple, and Jason did it already so why the hell is he freaking out?

Harley and Ivy started a riot somewhere in the city while Catwoman helped them in Arkham and said that she's going to take care of the security. So from there they were alone.

And it wasn't like he didn't knew the plane by heart, it's just that it really is happening. He's going to kill the Joker. They're going to kill the Joker.

And it's not a dream. The mother fucking clown is going to laugh for the last time. _____________________________________________

Each floor has a minimum of two guards, thanks to Killer Croc Arkham was down six guards, so floors 1-3 only had one guard each during the day (Because Gotham’s criminals are all geniuses and think that night is the best time for a breakout).

So doubling up only happened at night on these floors until the guards either recovered or replacements were vetted and hired.

Floors 4-5 had double guards at all times and floor 6 was more storage and extra holding cells than anything else right now.

Thanks to Harley and Ivy's riot there weren't a lot of guards where they were, everyone waiting to catch the two. Catwoman didn't lied about helping them from afar as every door opened to them without problems. _____________________________________________

The elevator doors opened at the fourth floor, Jason noted that there weren't any guards around, wondering what Catwoman did as he heard the muffled noise of an alarm from the floor above them.

Jason walked to the guard station and peeked in to see two men slumped over and unconscious. From the looks of it they have been knocked out, 'help from afar ha?' he thought to himself, smiling a little. Looking over at Tim, the little clown being too quite for so long, the teen smiled, his skin somehow more pale than normal, and his gun at hand. Jason nodded to him and Tim did the peace sign.

They followed a hallway around behind the booth and came up on a large metal door. They waited couple of seconds and the door opened, revealing another hallway with another large metal door several yards down. There were three such doors in their's way and each one opened and closed behind them, making them closer and closer to the goal.

Jason paused and took a deep breath before the final door. This is it. This stupid clown is as good as dead. The door opened.

And there was the Joker, laying on a thin metal like bed that was bolted to the wall.

All that stood between them and the Joker was a wall of bulletproof wall with several inches thick with small round air holes cut evenly to allow air to flow into the (if it could even be called that) room.

The Joker slowly rolled off the bed when he saw them, and came to stand in front of the clear wall, a sick smile on his face. “Well, well, well, what have we here? Visitors? Oh, I know you!" He said as he looked at Tim, his grin getting wider "You're my little lamb. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!”

Jason's heart started to beat faster, looking at Tim's hand gripping the gun so tight that his fingers turned whiter than usual.

"I'm not" Tim said, his voice quite.

"What did you said little lamb? Talk louder for papa"

Tim smiled, a small smile that made Jason question if he's going to follow the plan or not.

And of he really think about it, he was never told about this part of the plan... How will they kill the Joker?

"JJ?"

"I'm not a fucking lamb you old fucker" Tim said and shoot.

[pregnant-piggy]

Summer Games - three

Blaise Zabini x reader

masterlist

warnings: no pronouns used for the reader, 

A/N: I had so much fun writing this part and coming up with all the stupid things! I really hope you like it :)

written for @omgrachwrites​​​ writing challenge with the prompts: ‘I can’t have this argument with you again.’ ‘But—’ ‘No, I’m done.’ and ‘Sorry… your hair was in your face… thought  I should move it so I could see you better.’

word count: 3.9k

The next morning Blaise awoke before Draco and rather than waking his friend too, Blaise got dressed in silence and slipped out of the room. He walked down to the kitchen, where he found you sitting at the table with a mug in your hands, reading the morning papers.

‘Might rain this afternoon,’ you said without looking up.

Blaise hummed something as he sat down opposite of you and poured himself a cup of coffee. He looked up and studied your face as you read the newspaper. Your eyes scanned the pages quickly, picking out the things worth reading. Blaise watched you for a few minutes until you had finished and looked up at him.

‘What you’re doing?’ he asked when you kept looking at him.

‘Looking at you,’ you smiled.

Blaise chuckled nervously. ‘I noticed that, yeah. But why?’

‘I’m probably not gonna see you all day,’ you shrugged. ‘Don’t wanna forget that pretty face of yours.’

Blaise straightened his back and blinked. ‘Don’t wanna—’

‘Good morning, lovelies!’ Pansy interrupted as she threw open the door of the kitchen and strode in.

Blaise was still turned to you and watched as you hugged Pansy shortly before she sat down next to you. She poured herself some coffee and looked at Blaise.

‘Blaise, stop staring, that’s rude,’ Pansy said and she waved her hand in front of Blaise’s face.

He quickly looked away from you and shot Pansy a nasty look before he turned to his coffee.

‘Pansy don’t bug him,’ you scolded and shot Blaise a kind smile. ‘It’s only morning.’

‘Fine, fine,’ Pansy said and she waved your words away with her hand. ‘I won’t bug him until later this day.’ She took a sip from her coffee and pulled a face before quickly scooping two spoons of sugar in her cup. ‘Where’s Draco?’

‘Still asleep,’ Blaise muttered. ‘I considered hexing him awake, but I still have to sleep here for two nights and Draco with a grudge is not someone you want to sleep next to.’

‘I am not that bad,’ a grumpy voice at the doorframe said. Draco walked into the room and flopped down on the chair next to Blaise. ‘Coffee, please.’

‘Sure, you’re not that bad,’ you snickered as you poured coffee in Draco’s mug.

While Draco drank his coffee, you told your friends what Game today would be. ‘It’s the last day before the winner gets announced. Yesterday while we were at the lake the other half of the teams played games in the fields. Before we set off today we’ll get the ranking so far, so you know what team to beat.’

‘But what are we doing today?’ Pansy asked.

A big smile spread on your face. ‘It’s the best Game of the whole festival. The organisation has put out a big scavenger hunt. It goes through the whole village and we have to solve riddles and collect things. You’ll get a list with things to collect and usually the team splits up in little groups and each group gets a part of the list.’

‘What sort of things do we have to collect? Because I’m really not interested in breaking my back from carrying a lot,’ Draco said.

‘I don’t know,’ you replied. ‘Usually there’s a theme to the hunt. My grandma helps to put it together and previous years she’d tell me what the theme was but she hasn’t this year.’

‘So we’ll just go around town collecting things? Isn’t that boring?’

Your smile faltered a bit and Blaise kicked Draco under the table. ‘Don’t listen to him, he’s a jerk in the morning. It sounds fun!’

You smiled thankfully at Blaise and after Pansy also reassured you that it sounded great, your smile was back on your face, and it stayed there for the rest of the morning.

/\/\/\

The scavenger hunt had officially started. A little earlier the scores of the teams had been disclosed; the Sly Foxes were on top with only two points difference between them and the Red Titans. Next were the Oiled Machines and at the bottom the Raging Angels. But just by a few points so all could change with the scavenger hunt.

The organisation had handed out the lists with the things to collect and the theme had quickly been clear.

Book of Spells … 7 pts

Iron Cauldron … 15 pts

Vial with Sleeping Potion … 12 pts

Witch Hat … 5 pts

Unnecessarily the woman of the organisation had added that the theme of this year’s hunt was ‘magic’ and both Blaise and Draco had had to refrain their laughter at the stereotypical items they had to collect. There was a whole list on ingredients for potions that no real wizard would ever think of using, such as goat milk and rabbit turds. Apparently Muggles still thought of witches as old, weary women in little shacks in the woods.

Blaise and Draco had been teamed up with three other Foxes. Neither of them knew any of the three, but after his little spat with Alysia two days ago, Blaise was more than happy that he wasn’t in her team.

The oldest of their team was Ivanna, a woman of thirty-four with a pale face and sleek brown hair. Despite the heat she was wearing long trousers and a jacket over her shirt. She’d told the rest of the team that she had a little baby of just two months old, so that if she seemed tired it meant she probably was.

The second of the three was the twenty-three year old student Mica. They had a dark golden skin and black, curly hair that had been cut short and dyed blue in the ends. Under the blue bangs lay two dark eyes that glittered with excitement and competitiveness. Mica was a student in London, but they had come back to the town where they’d grown up for the Summer Games.

The last teammate was the very young Raoul. He was the son of the man Draco and Blaise had met the first day of the festival at the stand with the cherry pastries, Hank. Raoul was just eleven years old, but he brought a childlike enthusiasm with him that made everyone in the team energized.

They were by far the youngest team, as all the other teams had the more aged villagers, so they called themselves the Sly Pups. Quickly they set to work and looked at the items on their list.

‘Does this make any sense to you?’ Ivanna asked as she handed the list to Blaise and Draco.

Errn rq srwlrqv … 7 pts

Eurrpvwlfh … 17 pts

Fordn … 9 pts

Fdqgohv .. 10 pts

‘I don’t get it,’ Draco said to the rest of the team and then he whispered to Blaise: ‘You didn’t take Ancient Runes, did you?’

‘No, I didn’t,’ Blaise answered and he looked at the sheet in his hand. ‘But I doubt these are runes.’

Blaise looked around at the rest of the Sly Foxes but they didn’t seem to have the same problems, as they were already heading off. Then he looked at the other teams on the field and realised that from each team one group would stay bent over their list while the others took off. In one of the remaining teams Blaise recognised you and Pansy.

‘You don’t think it’s a mistake, do you?’ Ivanna asked with frowned eyebrows.

‘No, the other teams have it too,’ Blaise said and he nodded to the three groups left behind around them.

‘Wait, this one we can read!’ Mica said and pointed out the first line on the paper. ‘”To understand the magic you must always think three steps ahead.” What does that mean?’

The whole team silenced as they thought about the possible meaning of the sentence. Raoul looked around on the ground as if he would find the answer literally three steps ahead of him. For minutes it was quiet and Blaise’s annoyance grew.

To make his irritation even worse two of the other teams around them, including your team, had found the solution to the weird texts and were now running off the field. Blaise let out an exasperated sigh and he shook his head.

‘It can’t be this hard,’ Draco said.

‘It’s some sort of secret language, but I don’t understand the three steps,’ Mica admitted and they rubbed their temples with their knuckles.

‘My dad taught me a secret language once,’ Raoul said. ‘So we could write each other without my other dad finding out. We changed each letter with the one next in the alphabet.’

‘Of course!’ Mica exclaimed and they took the paper from Blaise. ‘Does someone have a pen?’

Ivanna gave Mica a pen and they turned Draco around to use his back. ‘What are you doing?’ Draco snapped but Mica ignored him as they started to write the alphabet on the top of the paper.

‘Look, it’s actually really easy,’ they said. ‘Each letter is swapped for a letter three steps ahead in the alphabet! Just like Raoul said!’

‘So that would mean that the e in the first word is actually a…’

‘A b!’ Mica completed Blaise’s sentence. ‘So the first word is… book… on… pot—potions! We have to find a potions book!’

‘I’ve got one of those in my bag,’ Draco muttered, but Blaise kicked him softly on his leg.

‘We have to go the library!’ Raoul said and he ran off.

‘Raoul! Wait a minute! Not so fast!’ Ivanna yelled after him and the group quickly followed the little boy.

/\/\/\

Your team had quickly figured out the solution to the weird text and found a potions book in the library, accompanied by a little paper with the next clue. Now you were sitting on the wall around the garden of the library with your team.

On your right sat Pansy and on your left Quincy. Quincy was your grandparents’ neighbour and you knew him very well so you were glad he was on your team. He was fifty-five and he had studied philosophy at the university in the nearest big city when he was younger. You hoped his intelligence would be applicable in the hunt, and so far it had for he had figured out the secret language.

Opposite of you stood Chantelle, the forty-two year old town’s librarian. Despite her being in her early forties she looked much older. She had a wrinkled face and neck and always stared at you with big eyes from behind her thick glasses. Her appearance was deceiving however, because her mentality was as quick as that of a young adult.

The last in your team was a teenage boy only a year older than you and Pansy. His name was Christopher and you had known him since you were a small child and you went to your grandparents in the summer. He had dark curls framing his olive face that was always painted with a bright smile. This time there was something other in his smile too and it only made sense to you after he told you that his boyfriend was in the other team and he desperately wanted to beat him.

‘y/n too,’ Pansy had said and Christopher had raised his eyebrow.

‘Really?’

‘No! Blaise is not my boyfriend!’ you’d cried to which Pansy had laughed.

‘Who said anything about Blaise? I merely said ‘boyfriend’.’

Now you were all looking at the new paper in your hand. The next item on the list was an eurrpvwlfh; a broomstick. Though finding out what the next item was had been easy, the real problem was finding the place where. The text on the paper you had gotten from the person in the library didn’t exactly help you very much.

Where I am is always a mystery.

Over mountains I fly,

Or I cross above the trees.

Down on the ground I rest,

Still and motionless I stand.

Pansy sighed and she threw her head back, closing her eyes as she thought about the riddle. Next to you, Quincy was staring at the text as if that would make him any wiser. Every once in a while he would hum but he didn’t come with an answer.

‘We’re gonna lose our lead like this,’ Christopher sighed as he looked around the street for other teams.

‘Surely we’re not seeing something,’ Pansy said and she tilted her head to the side, looking at the paper from a different angle. ‘No offense, but the organisation isn’t exactly a group of highly intelligent people, so maybe we have to think easier.’

Christopher chuckled and you faked a scowl at Pansy. ‘That’s my grandmother you’re talking about!’ you cried and Pansy just shrugged. ‘But you’re right. I am sure there is something clear that we’re overlooking.’

Chantelle cleared her throat and pointed at the text. ‘Maybe we should take a literal approach. You know, look at the text rather than the meaning?’

‘Here,’ you said and gave Chantelle the paper, allowing her to put her full focus on it.

Down the street you noticed a group of people approaching the library. Running ahead of the others was a young boy you recognised as Raoul. He had a big smile on his face and was waving the list with things to collect through the air. In the group behind him Blaise and Draco were walking together, followed by Mica and Ivanna. They noticed your team and Blaise and Draco waved.

‘Not to put pressure on you, but I really hope you can figure it out now because if we don’t win from Blaise and Draco I will be hearing that for the rest of my life,’ you sighed and Pansy nodded.

Chantelle looked up from the paper and winked at you. ‘I got it.’

Your team cheered and Blaise’s team, that was just about to enter the library, looked around. Upon seeing your team so happy, their faces turned sad.

‘See you tonight, boys!’ Pansy shouted. ‘Losers have to do the dishes!’

/\/\/\

Blaise and his team stepped out of the woods with the broomstick in their hand. The broom was old and twitchy and Blaise had to stifle a laugh thinking of how different the real broomsticks were in the wizarding world.

Again it had been Mica who had guessed the answer of the riddle. Blaise wondered where the team would be if they hadn’t been here. Probably still working on the first puzzle. But Mica had figured out that the first letters of the sentences in the little poem formed the word woods, the place where they had found the broomstick.

Now they only had the next word, fordn, meaning cloak, and a silver pin. It was not much to go on but Ivanna had recognised the pin straight away.

‘It comes from Mrs. Heath’s studio!’ she exclaimed and looked at the little pin in her fingers. ‘It’s what she uses for her dresses!’

Unfortunately Mrs. Heath’s studio lay on the other side of the village and it would take at least forty minutes before they’d get there.

‘Forty minutes?!’ Draco cried and when the team set off he turned to Blaise. ‘Stupid Muggles, why can’t we just apparate?’

‘Oh shut it, Malfoy,’ Blaise said. ‘It’s fun!’

‘I’m gonna curse y/n for making us do this…’

Grudging Draco followed the rest of his team and though Blaise would never say it to his friend, he had to admit that his feet were beginning to hurt.

The Sly Pups passed little houses with colourful front yards, full of flowers and bushes. The main street was silent and all the shops were closed, as most of the inhabitants were participating in the Games and there was no need for the stores to be open. They ran into a few other teams, but none of those had the same list as they had.

After forty-five minutes they arrived at the old house of Mrs. Heath. In the garden there was a little path, past pink flowerbeds and a small pond with fish. Halfway in the garden the path split in two. One side led to the bright yellow front door, the other led to a wooden door with a sign on it that said the Heath atelier.

Ivanna stepped through the garden and knocked on the yellow door. A minute it was silent and then an old lady opened the door. She was wearing an orange with blue flowers dress that reached to the ground and her grey hair hung in a braid over her shoulder. Her lips spread into a smile when she saw the five people at her door.

‘You’re the first ones!’ Mrs. Heath smiled and she stepped out of the door. ‘Come, come, follow me!’

Blaise sent Draco a questioning look as they followed Mrs. Heath to her studio. Your team had been far ahead of Pups, having figured out where to find the broomstick before Blaise’s team even had the riddle. In the forest there had been two brooms already collected, but apparently the Sly Pups were the only ones who had found where the silver pin came from.

Inside the Heath atelier stood four mannequins with colourful robes. Each had a different colour and pattern. There was a dark blue one with yellow stars, a green one covered with red flowers and one coloured yellow with orange and red flames. Blaise snickered at the cloaks; the only one he had even seen wearing such colours was Dumbledore and he couldn’t exactly be called a normal wizard.

‘You take this one,’ Mrs. Heath said and she pulled a bright pink cloak with yellow and green crescents embroidered in it from a mannequin. ‘And also—’ she opened a drawer and pulled out a thin object in the shape of a circle ‘—this one. Good luck!’

Ivanna took the object and the cloak and ushered the team outside. In the garden she handed over the cloak to Draco, who took it with a frown, and looked at what Mrs. Heath had given her.

‘It’s a coaster,’ Mica said, raising one eyebrow. ‘Why would she give us a coaster?’

Before anyone of the team could guess, however, another group arrived at the house. You and Pansy were walking ahead, both with tired and sweaty faces, and the rest of your team seemed just as exhausted.

Blaise waved at you and you gave him a weak smile back as you walked with your team inside.

‘Does anyone recognise this?’ Mica asked and they looked around the team.

Everyone shook their head and they sighed as one. Ivanna brought the coaster closer to her face and examined it. She dropped her shoulders and shook her head again. ‘I don’t know what it is.’

‘It probably has something to do with the next item,’ Mica said and they pulled out the list. ‘Candles. Is there a place here that sells candles or anything?’

‘But what has that got to do with the coaster?’ Blaise asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Mica admitted.

Your team came out of the studio with the green cloak and Pansy had a coaster in her hand. You huddled a little away from Blaise and your team formed a protective circle around the object in Pansy’s hand.

Blaise was standing with his back to your team, but he could hear the whispers. While his team tried to think of a solution for the weird puzzle, Blaise tried to listen to what your teammates had to say. And it seemed like your team had sorted it out as quickly as Ivanna had sorted out the solution of the pin.

‘I know where this is from,’ Quincy said. ‘At Mikey’s they use these coasters.’

‘And that would make sense, because in a restaurant they surely have candles!’ Chantelle added and the rest of your team mumbled approvingly.

Blaise looked around and saw your team leaving the garden and heading for the main street. You caught his stare and smiled enthusiastic at Blaise, making him weak in the knees with the innocent laugh on your face. Butterflies were fluttering through his stomach and he felt bad for eavesdropping on your team.

‘Blaise?’

‘Yeah?’ Blaise tore his gaze from you and turned to his team, finding them all looking at him.

Mica laughed and shook their head. ‘Ivanna said that she knows someone who makes candles,’ they said. ‘I know we haven’t got much time left, but it’s worth a try.’

The scavenger hunt would only last till four, then everyone had to return to the fields, whether they had found all the objects or not. Now there were only thirty minutes left, so they had to hurry.

Blaise looked at his team and thought of what he had heard a minute earlier. If they went to the candle-maker they would never get to the restaurant in time, and that would mean that they’d lose from your team. However, when Blaise thought of you and how happy you’d be when winning, he just couldn’t tell.

‘Sure,’ he said. ‘Sounds great.’

/\/\/\

You were lying in bed, staring at the shapes the lamp cast on the ceiling. Pansy was hopping around in the room, trying to find the pyjamas that she had thrown off this morning. Her footsteps were heavy sounds on the wooden floor.

There was a faint smile on your face. This afternoon your team had been the only one to return with all four of the items on the list. Though that didn’t guarantee that the Red Titans had won the entire scavenger hunt, it did mean that you and Pansy’s team had won from Blaise and Draco’s.

However, there was one more thing that added to your smile.

‘He knew,’ you said and sat up against the headboard of the bed.

‘Who knew what?’ Pansy asked as she was bent over in the closet.

‘Blaise knew where to find the candles.’

Pansy looked up at you. ‘What do you mean? His team didn’t find them.’

‘No, his team didn’t know,’ you said while Pansy took off her shirt and trousers. ‘But he did.’

Pansy neatly folded her clothes and placed them on a shelf in the closet. Then she closed the door and looked around the room. ‘Where the hell are my clothes?’ she mumbled before she looked back at you. ‘How do you know?’

‘He overheard Quincy telling where the coaster came from,’ you said and you lifted the pillow on the bed and revealed Pansy’s pyjamas. ‘He looked at me before we walked away. I could see it in his face.’

Pansy had sat down on the bed and pulled the shirt over her head. ‘So if he knew, why didn’t he tell his team?’ she asked and then a wicked smile spread on her face. ‘He let you win.’

‘He let us win, Pansy,’ you corrected, but even you couldn’t suppress a smile. ‘But yeah.’

‘So that’s why you’ve been smiling so much all evening!’ Pansy exclaimed loudly and you shushed her.

‘Shh! He’s still in the room next to us!’

Pansy rolled her eyes and crawled under the covers next to you. ‘Will you now believe he’s totally into you?’

You turned off the light on the nightstand and lay down, pulling the duvet up to your chin. You stared at the dark ceiling for a moment, thinking back of today. With a smile you took Pansy’s hand and gave it a little squeeze.

‘Perhaps.’

- - - - - - -

taglist

general HP: @harry-pottery-barn​​​ @potters-heart​​​ @kingalrdy​​​ @missswriter​​​ @figlia--della--luna​​​@sexysirius​​​ @awritingtree​​​ @bi-andready-tocry​​​ @lilulo-12fanfiction​​​ @ananad1​​​ @treestarrrrrrrr​​​ @your-hispanichufflepuff​​​ @thefandomplace​​​ @theeicedamericano​​​ @girllety​​​ @moonstarrnghtsky @swearingsolemnly​​​ @weasleydream​​​ @secretsthathauntus​​​ @amixedwitch​​​ @izzyyy-1​​​ @gryffindorgirl​​​ @kitkatkl​​​ @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts​​​ @nyotamalfoy​​​​

MASTERLIST

[untaemedqueen]

Room 732 (M)

Mafia!Jeongguk x Courtesan!Reader

Jeongguk brought to you by The Bird Cage

WordCount: 10k

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Strangers to Lovers!AU

Warnings: Excessive Drinking, Excessive Swearing, Guns, Jeongguk Is Haunted By His Dead Girlfriend, Character Death (Lee), Mafia!Jeongguk, Shy!Jeongguk, Possessive!Jeongguk, Dom!Jeongguk, Sub!Reader,  Jeongguk Is Riddled with Guilt, Praise, Cunnilingus, Orgasm Denial, Fellatio, Throat Fucking, Deep Throating, Begging, Jeongguk Has A Huge Dick, Daddy Kink, Did I Say Possessive? Because Jeongguk Is Possessive As Fuck, Cum Swallowing, Degradation (Cum Slut), Marking, Unprotected Sex, Squirting, Multiple Orgasms, Creampie, Begging

A/N: Can Be Read As A Stand Alone But If You’ve Read TBC. There are fun easter eggs. OKAY. ENJOY.

The mansion was silent on this Wednesday morning. Not a noise to be heard as Jeongguk pads down the right staircase of the large home. His sleep laden eyes drift to the brand new door before yawning loudly. His hand coming up to scratch at his bare tattooed chest as he makes his way through the sitting room. The perfectly white marble countertop of the island gives him a place to lean as he runs his hands through his black hair. He drank way too much yesterday with Taehyung to celebrate the birth of his new son. 

Everyone was finding love around him, starting families and here he was still a bachelor since his girlfriend Lee was murdered. He could sometimes still picture her, her black hair blowing in the breeze in the garden. Or, the way she used to wrinkle her nose at everything, a habit Guk had adopted from her. He sighs to himself before shoving off of the counter as he rounds the island to the liquor cabinet. Sometimes Lee visits him in his dreams, begging him to move on, to experience happiness like the others in his gang. But, how could he? He has this warped mind that only knows how to torture and kill. After she was gone there was no love, no yearning. He smiles, sure, at his nieces and nephews. He finds happiness in others' happiness but never his own.

Jeongguk jumps up on the counter, Johnny Walker in his right hand as Hawon runs into the kitchen. He smirks down at her before putting the bottle of alcohol behind his back. 

"Our Hawon." Her body sways as she does a little dance noticing her uncle. Jeongguk chuckles before hopping down off the island and picking her up. 

"Airplane?! Airplane, Uncle Guk!" Mirae enters not even a second later before sighing as Jeongguk throws Hawon up in the air. Her screech echoes throughout the kitchen as Jeongguk chuckles. See, this is a flint of happiness he obtains through the people around him. He can smile at the way Mirae becomes disheveled with the kids even though she has OCD and hates to be out of perfect form. He can smile at how Hawon is delighted to be with him. And yet, when he's alone the loneliness and anger gnaws at him, as if he has a constant leech on his body. Jeongguk spins around, hands grasping at Hawon's small body before putting her back on the ground. 

"Uncle Guk has to go to work. I'll see you later, hmm? We can watch that Tinkerbell movie." Hawon nods ecstatically at his promise before running out into the garden. 

"Just a ball of energy." Mirae mumbles before chasing Hawon out the kitchen door. Jeongguk smirks before grabbing the whisky and walking out of the kitchen.

The blood tainted towel falls into Guk's lap as he sits down in the wooden chair in his warehouse. The blubbering and shaking of the man in front of him makes him sigh as he kicks the chair back on its hind two legs. His feet coming to rest on the blood stained wooden table in front of him. 

"Just tell me what I want to know." His tone was not to be taken lightly as he shakes his long hair out of his face. Assessing the pained body in front of the table, he tilts his head. 

"I didn't cut your tongue out for you to talk so you'd better do so, or I'll tell my boss you bit it off instead." This is what Jeongguk was best at. Jimin's wife on many occasions has stated that she couldn't believe the cute, tattoo riddled boy in front of her was such a fierce person. But, it's what he is best at. It's all he knows and he's damn good at it. 

"You-I...Ple-Please." The voice was hoarse as if they haven't had water in days. Jeongguk taps his fingers against his leather pants before looking up at the wooden ceiling of his warehouse. 

"Not what I want to hear. I want to hear from your mouth how you got the address." All he needs is a name, that's it. 

"I have nothing else to take from you, Kyung. I took your eyes, your dick, your fingers." The man sobs hopelessly as Jeongguk looks at the blood stained bandage over the top of Kyung's head. 

"Im Junggoo." Jeongguk sighs, his hands covering his face before nodding. 

"Yeah. I was afraid you were going to say that." Jeongguk's body moves gracefully as he jumps out of the chair. He whistles to himself as he pulls his gun out from the back of his waistband. His fingers roll the silencer onto the tip of the gun before sighing as he jumps up onto the table before sitting down crossing his legs. 

"This was fun, Kyung. Let's do it again sometime." He closes one eye, aiming at Kyung's head before pulling the trigger. The body falls, twitching slightly before stilling and Jeongguk can do nothing but set down the gun on the table and watch how the blood begins to pool into the reddened dirt around him. His blood covered hands lean back behind him as he looks up at the ceiling. He was damn good at his job.

"You need to go get some relief of some kind." Jimin tells Jeongguk as he sits at his desk. Jeongguk looks over the rim of his whisky glass before furrowing his eyebrows. 

"What?" 

"Since you've stepped into this room your hands have been shaking, you have bags under your eyes and you can't stop bouncing your knee. You need to get some relief." The older man points at his knee, product of proof right in front of him that has Jeongguk rolling his eyes. 

"I'm fine." Jimin sips his coffee before leaning back in his chair, his crisp white shirt wrinkling as he does so. 

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you." Jeongguk licks at his lips before folding his hands around the whisky glass in his lap. Jimin was the closest person to him since he was young. Jimin helped him find himself, made him who he is today and Jeongguk never takes that for granted. 

"I can't sleep. She comes to see me in my dreams." He tells his best friend as he looks down at the newly purchased Persian rug that replaced the old one after Jimin's wife killed someone in the office. 

"Lee?" Jeongguk nods to his question before downing the rest of his liquor. 

"She always tells me to move on, or be happy. Like that's such a fucking easy thing to do. Like I can't remember what her fucking body looked like when we came home." Jimin swallows thicky before looking up at the ceiling. 

"I get it. Really I do." Jeongguk's chest begins to tighten as he turns his head to look at the stained glass window. 

"It's not like I have a Kitten, like you do that magically transcends me into a different plane of existence and makes me better." Jimin takes a deep breath through his nose as he sets down his coffee. 

"Watch it. Your words are getting reckless." His eyes flicker shut, his heart beating in his ears as he sees Lee painted on the back of his eyelids. 

"I can see her. She's wearing that pink dress that I bought her for Valentine's Day. Her hair was in pretty curls. I can see her smiling at me." Jeongguk chokes on his own spit as his eyes open wide before standing up and walking over to the liquor caddy. 

"Guk." Jimin whispers as the alcohol sloshes into the crystal glass. 

"I'm fine." The lie slips right past his lips as he looks up at the portrait of all the guys behind Jimin's chair. 

"Go see one of Kitten's girls. It might help." A giggle bursts through the room as Jeongguk turns to his older brother. 

"Help? They aren't therapists. They suck cock for a living." Jimin sighs before putting his hand to his forehead. Jeongguk was stubborn, he always has been and probably always will be. 

"Then go see a therapist. You're getting out of control. I saw what you did to Kyung's body. You're lashing out." 

"I was doing my fucking job." Jimin clicks his teeth as the study door opens.

Jimin's wife stands in the doorway, one hand holding their son Minseok as the other rests comfortably on her growing belly. 

"Sorry. He wants daddy." She whispers before looking at Guk. 

"We don't cut people's eyes out." Jimin responds to Jeongguk before standing up and grabbing his son from his wife's arms. 

"I got it, Kitten." She hums before her eyes take in Jeongguk's disheveled body. 

"I was just doing my fucking job. Okay?" He looks over at Jimin's wife before raising his eyebrows as she stares at him. 

"WHAT?!" He screams to her as Jimin sighs gently.

"Jeon Jeongguk-" 

"Easy, Kitten." Jeongguk's head cocks to the side as Jimin rubs at her pregnant belly. 

"Go to a therapist, Guk. I'm not asking." The silence was palpable, eyes glancing here and there from all three people in the room before Minseok whines. How would Jeongguk even be able to process his thoughts? Let alone tell them to some quack who would just nod and ask him how he feels about it? Just give him snarky remarks before writing down a prescription for some soothing meds and telling him his hour is up. "I'd rather get my cock sucked."

Jeongguk stands in front of the Beasley Hotel. His eyes reading the same scripted letters on the facade of the expensive building for the thirteenth time before sighing. Of course, Jimin's wife immediately made an appointment with one of the girls for him. She asked Jeongguk what he liked and he didn't respond to her so she just set him up with someone new. Now, of course, all the girls that worked for her and her partner Hyunah were  incredibly capable. It takes a high standard to get into the Golden Cage. But, he couldn't bring himself to want to go through with the whole ordeal. Lee constantly springs to mind every step he takes. Could he really watch a girl get undressed, suck his dick or do anything to him without feeling guilty? He can't say he could. 

This girl would probably tell Jimin's wife he didn't go through with it and there would be hell to pay. He's getting a million dollar session for free. Jeongguk steps off the curb across the street before walking to the ritzy hotel in front of him. His hand digs into his black skinny jean pocket before producing a folded piece of paper. 

732

Jeongguk takes a deep breath through his nose. Just have to get it over with, right? He steps through the revolving door before entering the hotel. He pockets his tattooed hands as people bustle about in the hotel lobby. He receives a few strange looks, this was not the sort of grandeur hotel that usually has leather clad, tattooed men just waltzing in. His hand reaches behind him making sure to feel the comfort of his gun in his waistband before relaxing. His combat boots make a dull thudding noise against the marble flooring, the sound reverberating in his ears as he approaches the front desk. 

Orchards litter the large stone desk as he leans over it, a girl in a pants suit looks up before raising an eyebrow. 

"Can I help you?" Everything about her was dripping with disdain as Jeongguk cleared his throat. 

"Yeah, I'm here to see a guest in room 732." The front desk agent clicks her teeth before looking over his top half incredulously. This was the usual hotel for Golden Cage clients. 732 was always the room people would go to. It was common knowledge for most people in the hotel to know that a guest for 732 was going to get their rocks off. 

"Mkay." The agent mumbles before picking up the phone and pressing the numbers languidly. Her eyes never leave Jeongguk's face as he looks around the hotel lobby. This place was nice, really nice. Lee would have loved to stay here. See, this is the problem. Everything is Lee. Every waking breath he has he could equate something to his dead girlfriend, for years now. Even when he sleeps, all he sees is her. Whether that be alive, dead, dismembered, you name it he's had a dream of her doing it or being there. He pokes an orchard petal as the agent lets the girl in the room know she has a visitor. His body sways back and forth awkwardly as he looks towards the elevators. 

"You can go up." Jeongguk looks back down at the agent before nodding. "Thanks."

The hallway smells expensive, like lavender and warm vanilla. The chandeliers that hang from the ceiling exude the persona of this place and Jeongguk cannot begin to process how he came to be here. He nods his head to the Lee man who guards the door. 

"Arms up." Jeongguk clears his throat before doing as told. 

"I have a gun and two knives on me." He's courteous at least to tell him. He respects the Lees, they work quick and fast and have never given the Lions a problem. Especially since Yoongi just recently got engaged to Hyunah. The Lee man hums as he pulls the gun out from behind him. Jeongguk reaches down before pulling his knives from his boots and handing them over. 

"Have fun." He says before shoving the door open for him. Jeongguk looks into the room before clearing his throat and stepping inside.

The lights were dim upon entry, white furniture beckons him forward as he looks around the room. 

"Hello?" His voice was timid as he stepped towards the bed. The gold headboard catches his attention before turning to a noise in the bathroom. 

"Hello." There you stood, a grey satin robe covering your almost naked body as you take the tall man into your sights. Jeongguk runs his fingers through his long black hair, his eyes looking over your body before looking away as if it was inappropriate. He shifts awkwardly on one foot to the other, there was something cute about it. The tall, muscular man was seemingly nervous in your presence. You smile warmly as you walk past him, his muscles tensing as your satin robe brushes against his leather jacket. 

You sit on the bed, legs crossing as you lean back on your hands. The robe inches up, your bare thighs coming into view for his eyes as he pockets his hands. 

"You can sit. You know." Jeongguk opens his mouth before giving a small laugh. 

"Yeah." You pat the spot next to you and he slowly makes his way over. He sits on the edge, his butt barely connecting with the mattress as his shoulders tense up. He stares straight ahead at the black television screen. You lazily take in his features, big doe eyes and a perfect nose. Nice pink lips and a killer jawline grace your sight as you sit up. 

"I'm Y/N." Jeongguk turns to you before bowing his head. 

"Jeongguk." You hum to him before watching how his knee bounces in anxiousness. Why did your boss tell you to give him the plus treatment if he seems like he doesn't want to be here? 

"Drink?" You ask pointing at the liquor cabinet. Jeongguk takes his hands out of his pockets only to place them on his knees, his fingertips digging into the fabric of his jeans before nodding. 

"Sure!" He springs up before crossing the expanse of the room. 

Jeongguk takes a deep breath before opening the liquor cabinet. 

"Are you a virgin?" You ask as he pours two glasses of whisky. He chuckles, a sound that blesses your ears as you tilt your head. 

"No. I'm not a virgin." He turns back around to you, his black hair falling into his eyes as he smiles. He has a pretty smile, something about it makes you feel warm. Like nothing bad could happen when it was around. You find yourself smiling back as he hands you the glass. 

"You can take your jacket off, you know. I'm not going to immediately jump your bones, unless you're into that." He snorts, a simple exhale through his nose before shrugging off his leather jacket and throwing it onto the bed. 

"Good." You say before taking a sip of the whisky. The warm liquor soothes you, a fire producing in your belly as Jeongguk side eyes you. You were beautiful, he expected as much. Jimin's wife wasn't in the business of hiring ugly women. His gaze flickers to your bare thighs once more before looking anywhere else. You catch this within a second, and notice the discomfort he begins to feel. His body turning away from you out of instinct. 

You feel pity for him, something clearly isn't right with this situation he has been brought into. You grab at the duvet cover of the bed before throwing it over your legs. 

"Better?" You ask quietly as Jeongguk notices your movement. He looks back over at you, his doe eyes widening further. 

"I'm sorry. I must be being rude." You shake your head at his statement before giving him a smile. 

"It's okay if you don't want to do anything. I understand." He makes a noise in the back of his throat that you can't decipher before turning to you. You seemed like an understanding person. You didn't strike him as a courtesan to say the least. 

"I want to. But, I can't. My brain won't let me." He taps his index finger against his temple before taking a large gulp of the whisky. His teeth grit, neck veins fluttering as he swallows the whisky. You can sense his nervousness and it really doesn't look good on this handsome man. 

"I'll be right back." You whisper before standing up and heading for the bathroom.

"I fucked up." Jeongguk whispers before closing his eyes, he could see her. He could see Lee plain as day. She was frowning, her long black hair strewn over her shoulder as she folded her arms. Jeongguk couldn't move on, he was trapped in this miserable mindset. He wasn't even sure what it would be like to not see Lee or think of Lee at every given moment. It would probably terrify him. The bathroom door opens and you emerge in a long mocha brown sweater, black leggings shield your thighs as you smile at Guk. 

"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to make you embarrassed or anything, I-" You cut him off with the shake of your head. 

"It's alright, you didn't offend me. Takes a lot more than that to make me offended." Jeongguk nods, his shoulders relaxing slightly as you jump on the bed. Your back connects to the gold headboard as you grab your glass. 

"Might be nice to not get fucked for once." He laughs gently before turning his body to you, the way his eyes crinkle makes your heart skip a beat. He's way too handsome. His hand pushes his hair behind his pierced ear before taking a sip of his drink. 

"You can have a drink and just chill out. Or, I can leave if you want." You suggest pointing your manicured finger at the door. Jeongguk is quick to shake his head, 

"No, no. Don't go. It's nice to just...just be able to sit and drink." He wholeheartedly means it. You felt comfortable to him. Nothing about this experience felt weird or strange which was a blessing in and of itself. Jeongguk scratches at the back of his neck and you catch the branding iron you've seen a few times before with a few clients. 

"You're a Lion." Jeongguk puts his hand down before giving you a small smile. 

"Yeah. I am. I'm one of the original seven." You hum before sitting up and putting your hand under your cheek. "I heard that you guys defile women and torture men." Jeongguk gives a carefree laugh as he fully turns to you. 

"Clearly that isn't the case. I made you go put your clothes on." You giggle before sipping the whisky and tapping your fingers to your temple. His smile doesn't fade as his warm brown eyes gaze upon your face. 

"I'm sorry your boss made you take me on as a client. I'm sure it's a waste of time." 

"You're not a waste of time. Don't say that. You're actually nice, compared to most people that enter this room." Jeongguk tilts his head before sucking air through his teeth. 

"I'll kill them if you want me to. The people that aren't nice to you." His eyes gleam with playfulness as you kick back your body before giggling. 

"Is that your way of flirting?" He takes a sip, the corners of his mouth quirked upwards as he stares at you. 

"So why are you here anyway? You said my boss made me take you on. Why?" Jeongguk clears his throat as he kicks off his combat boots before sitting cross legged on the bed. Now, he's uncomfortable. He looks past you to the pearlescent night stand as he puffs out his cheeks. 

"Because I, uh, can't function. My boss says I'm getting reckless." You hum as if you have any idea what he's talking about. After the hour you've been talking and drinking, you've kind of just assumed he's an enigma. He only answers what he wants to, he looks away at any given chance to not feel something. He seems like he doesn't want to feel. You wouldn't push him, it isn't your place. And yet, there's something about him that just makes you want to give him a hug. He seems so sad. You want to make him smile and laugh, he seems like he deserves that. 

"So they thought that you getting your dick sucked would make you better?" He laughs before looking down at his lap. 

"I think so." You sigh before sitting up and putting your hand on his knee. He stiffens, his eyes look up at you before relaxing his muscles. 

"Don't worry. I'm here to talk to you, if you want. I know my main job is to spread my legs for people but I'm a good listener." Jeongguk is quick to defend your honor to yourself. 

"Don't say that. Your main job is irrelevant to me. I'm happy I could sit here and just bullshit with you for hours. I feel kinda better than before." Your smile brings one to his own face. 

"Good. I'm glad." A knock comes at the door and you both turn your heads to the noise. 

"Time." You hear through the door and you sigh before standing up. 

"That's my cue." Jeongguk opens his mouth before nodding. For the first time in forever, he wants more time. He mentally chides himself, he spent so much time looking away and not answering that he didn't even get a real chance to speak with you. He regrets that. 

"Jeongguk. Hopefully I'll see you around." You say as you grab your bag from the bathroom. 

"Me too! Thanks, Y/N." You give him that warm smile he's suddenly become fond of before leaving the room. The Lee man enters before handing Jeongguk his weaponry and bowing his head. Jeongguk lays down on the bed before closing his eyes. Lee was like a faded print behind his eyelids.

"How was she?" Jimin asks as they sit down for the meeting. Jeongguk smirks before putting his gun on the table. 

"Really nice." Jimin raises an eyebrow before folding his arms. 

"How do you know she's really nice if she had her mouth on your cock?" Jeongguk scoffs before matching his best friend's actions with folding his own arms. 

"Don't talk about her like that. She didn't need to suck my cock for me to know she's nice." Jimin's expression softens at Jeongguk's murmur. 

"Did you dream of Lee last night?" His question is point blank as the others file into the room. 

"Briefly." She had come and gone, Jeongguk for the first time in a long time didn't wake up drenched in sweat. He didn't feel compelled to tell Jimin every single detail of last night but there was one sentence that had Jimin bursting at the seams to know more. "I'd like to see her again."

Jeongguk walks down the hotel hallway, his gun and knives already in hand before handing them to the Lee man standing at the door. 

"Enjoy." Jeongguk has come to know the Lee man as Junkwon, he was nice and always escorted you. Junkwon opens the door, the lights are dim yet again. 

"Hey." Jeongguk sounds breathless as you sit in the chair by the large window, your body covered in just a beige lace bra with matching panties. You look up before covering your legs with a gasp. 

"Jeongguk! They didn't tell me it was you. I'm sorry." You say quickly grabbing your robe. Jeongguk has become really fond of this, fond of how considerate you are. How comfortable you make him feel when you're around just being yourself. 

"Don't worry." He says as you stand up. His eyes drink you in, your skin looking soft as butter in the dim lighting. 

"Let me go change." Jeongguk hums to you before licking his lips. He wasn't nervous or afraid to look at you, he didn't hate himself for it. Because, it was you. You rush off to the bathroom as Jeongguk walks over to the liquor cabinet. His eyes flutter closed and for once his eyelids were just black. No Lee. No smile. No frown. Nothing. He stumbles backwards as he gasps before his eyes open wide. 

"Lee?" He calls gently before closing his eyes again. There was nothing. And, this is what he was most afraid of. His tattooed hand grasps the wooden counter of the bar before choking on his own spit. 

"Jeongguk? You okay?" You ask as his legs shake. 

"She-I...I don't-'' He shuts his eyes once more before a ball begins to form in his throat, it's form ever expanding as his knuckles turn white from clasping the table so hard. 

"She left me." He whispers before opening his eyes and looking at you. 

"Hey." You whisper calmly to him, your feet taking ginger steps towards him as he whimpers. 

"She left me!" There was a small sob before a large one. His innocent eyes glossing over with tears as he grabs at his black t-shirt above his heart. 

"Jeongguk. Sit down." You say putting your hand on his arm gently. He rips his arm away from your grasp before faltering as he knocks the whisky bottle onto the floor. 

"Hey!" The concern in your voice reaches his ears as he falls into the seat you were previously sat in. His eyes were like a wild animals, flitting here and there while trying to grasp onto a thought. 

"Jeongguk. Do you need me to call my boss?" Jeongguk gasps as he leans back in his seat. 

"Don't! Don't do that." You could see his hairline beginning to sweat as you crouch down in front of him. 

"I think you're having a panic attack. Just take a deep breath. In through your nose and out through your mouth." You've had a few panic attacks in your time. It wasn't always cushy like it is now to work in this industry. 

Jeongguk takes a deep breath, his body visibly shaking as he stares down at you. 

“Just focus on something, let your mind begin to process.” You whisper running your thumb comfortingly over his bare knee through the cuts in his jeans. Jeongguk groans as he feels dizziness encumbering his mind, but he couldn’t close his eyes for fear that she wouldn’t be there. His eyes fall to your hand on his knee, he focuses on how soothing your thumb feels. How soft and delicate the touch you’re giving him is. You give him a small smile, eyebrows still knit with concern as he looks back up at you. 

“What color is my shirt?” You ask him quietly before pulling at the fabric. 

“Purple.” He whispers before taking a deep breath into his lungs as if his body was finally allowing him to breathe again. 

“Good.” Then there was silence for a while besides Guk’s heavy breathing. That was alright with you, as long as he felt better. He has only come three times before this and each time he came things were slowly becoming more relaxing. 

You would talk for long hours, sipping on whatever alcohol you decided on at the start of the session. You would laugh with each other, listen to how Jeongguk’s day went. You told him things you enjoy too like the beach and going to the seaside to fish with your dad. He told you about his nieces and nephews last time and it warmed your heart to see him smiling so widely when he talked about them. He was always happy talking about others but never about himself, you noticed. He never mentioned women or anything of that nature and that was okay with you too. Everything was very relaxing when you were with each other, like nothing else even mattered outside of this hotel room. Jeongguk flexes his fingers realizing they were numb only seconds ago. 

“I-I’m sorry.” He mumbles before putting his hands over his face, his palms becoming drenched in sweat as he leans back into the chair. 

“Nothing to apologize for.” His fast beating heart begins to slow as he lets out an exhale. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” You ask gently before standing up. Jeongguk looks up at you as he moves his hands away before clearing his throat. 

“Sit on my lap.” He whispers and you gasp gently. 

“What?” He’s never asked something like this before. 

“Sit on me.” You look at him hesitantly before slowly sitting down on his thick thighs. His strong arms wrap around your figure, his arms interlocking with each other as he lets out a slow breath. You sit still, eyeing him wearily as he looks up at you nervously. 

“Okay.” He mumbles before slowly closing his eyes. The back of his eyelids were still black. He sighs deflated before letting you go. 

“You can get up.” You stand up off of him before tilting your head. 

“I have to go.” He whispers before standing, his eyes don’t look towards you again as he rushes to the door. “Jeongguk!” He was gone.

He had you sit on him to see if Lee would come back, but she didn’t that night. He went to sleep without a single dream. His unconscious mind reveling in the back wasteland of dreamspace. But, she did come back when he was black out drunk. He would have conversations with her as he lay sloped up against the wall of his room. 

“Don’t fucking l-look at me like that, babe.” He slurs to Lee as she sits in the chair across from his bed. 

“Koo, you have to let me go.” Jeongguk laughs loudly, the whisky in the bottle he holds sloshes around as he shakes. 

“Let you go?! You left me!” Lee sits silently, hands on her knees as her black hair falls in rivets over her shoulder. 

“I didn’t choose to leave you.” Jeongguk scoffs before gulping down the alcohol. 

“I’m not talking about when you fucking died, baby. I’m talking about when I went to see Y/N.” Lee’s lips press into a hard line as she leans back in the armchair. 

“Because you don’t need me when Y/N is there. She can take good care of you.” 

“YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD! WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT KNOWING WHAT I NEED?!” Jeongguk’s voice is a sharp, loud cry as he widens his drunken eyes at his dead girlfriend. He scoffs before holding the liquor bottle close to his body as he folds his legs underneath him. There was a quick knock at his door before the door went flying open. 

“What’re you screaming about at three o’clock in the morning?” Hoseok asks his younger brother before noticing just how drunk Jeongguk is. The way his body is slumped over against his headboard, black hair in his eyes so he could barely see. 

“Guk.” Hoseok mutters before stepping inside and shutting the door so as to not disturb anyone. Jeongguk didn’t realize he was crying until now, tears rolled off his jawline before leaving dark wet spots on his light grey sweatpants. Hoseok takes a seat where Lee was just sitting before looking at the drunk younger man. 

“She fucking left me. Y’know? I go see Y/N, what, four fucking times and Lee just abandons me.” Hoseok gives a gentle sigh before running his hands through his hair. 

“Maybe she left you because that’s healthy and you need healthiness.” Jeongguk laughs before taking another swig of whisky. 

“That’s what she said.” He mumbles, his tone warped with pain as he slams his head into the iron bed frame. Hoseok leans forward before grabbing the bottle of liquor and putting it on the floor. 

“This isn’t healthy. You’re a mess. If it helped you so much to see Y/N, you should go back and see her.” You probably hate him after seeing him at his weakest. 

“No. I don’t want to see her again.” He was afraid, afraid to be at such peace with you. Afraid to be able to smile.

Jeongguk sits at the meeting table. His feet up on the table as Jimin’s wife slaps him upside the head. 

“Just bought the table, feet down.” She mumbles before pulling on her cigarette. He mutters an apology her way as the rest of the guys enter the metal room. Namjoon enters with a cheery smile, his dimples deep as he pulls his gun out before presenting it on the table. 

“Oh! Jaebeom went to go see Y/N, thanks for the suggestion.” Jeongguk takes a deep breath before taking his feel off the table and staring at the t.v. screen above him. 

“She’s pretty, no?” Jimin’s wife asks as Jeongguk’s knee begins to bounce. 

“That’s what he says. He also says, she has a nice mouth for sucking cock.” 

“Stop it.” Jeongguk mumbles loud enough for Namjoon to hear drawing his attention to the younger member. Was this jealousy burning through his veins at a quick pace? He wasn’t even sure what the emotion was that filled him, but anger accompanied it. If it wasn’t for the black tattoos on his neck, it would surely be beet red. 

“You went to see her too, right Guk?! Man, I’m fucking telling you, Jae says those tits she has-” Jeongguk pulls his gun out of the back of his pants before aiming it at his older brother. 

“I said stop. Don’t fucking talk about her!” 

“WHOA!” Jimin yells upon entering as Namjoon holds his hands up, backing his chair up into the corner of the room. 

“Don’t fucking go tell anyone to see her! Tell him don’t look at her! Don’t touch her! Don’t you dare!” Jeongguk yells as he cocks the gun. 

“Easy, Guk. Easy.” Jimin whispers before stepping in front of Jeongguk’s gun. 

“Just because it’s her job doesn’t mean she likes it. When she was younger, she wanted to be a painter but no one would accept her into their colleges. Do you know that? She likes to go to the beach to feel the sand between her toes because it keeps her grounded. And, you have the fucking audacity to talk about her fucking dick sucking skills?! She isn’t someone you can easily talk about like this! She’s a fucking person! With feelings! She was there for me when I had a fucking panic attack. She took care of me. Don’t fucking talk about her!” Jimin slowly waves his hands as Jeongguk begins to foam at the sides of his mouth. 

“Alright. Jaebeom or anyone else here won’t go and see her. You have my word. Put the gun down.” Jimin was being gentle with him, Jeongguk recognizes his tone of voice as his wife rubs at Guk’s upper back. Jeongguk uncocks the gun before clearing his throat and leaving the room without another word. 

Jeongguk stares at the bloody dirt of his warehouse, for once his warehouse was empty. It was dead quiet, you could hear a pin drop. He had left the mansion for a few days, just sleeping in the back of his car while he stayed out here. His mind was fucking him over, this much was certain. He left you in that hotel room and he felt guilty about it. He also felt guilty about feeling the need to have Lee around him when she wasn’t even on this plane of existence anymore. More than anything, he can’t help but think about your smile. How warm it is, how comforting it feels to have his eyes on you smiling widely. He remembers how soft your skin looks, how he would have been okay with you staying in that little amount of clothing before his panic attack. He remembers how soothing your thumb was on his skin. Jeongguk sighs before looking up at the wooden rafters of the ceiling. 

“Koo.” His breathing stops as he closes his eyes. 

“Lee.” 

“Why don’t you go and see her?” Jeongguk’s eyes begin to burn, he sniffles before pulling up his black hood and looking at his dead girlfriend. 

“I can’t.” A broken sob rips through his chest as he hangs his head low. 

“She probably misses you, you can’t be locked up in your own head anymore. I’m gone.” Jeongguk wails loudly putting his hands over his face. 

“I know. I’m just so afraid for you to leave.” 

“I’ll always be with you, in your heart. In your memories. But, it’s time to move on. You like her, I know you do. It’s okay to like someone else that isn’t me, Koo.” He scoffs as he pulls down his sleeves to make sweater paws. His sleeves meet his eyes as he sobs. 

“She probably fucking hates me. I left her there all alone.” 

“Look at me.” Jeongguk timidly lifts his head, his hands pushing his hair out of the way as he sniffles. Lee was in front of the table looking down at him.

“You deserve to be happy, Koo. You deserve to smile. You deserve to feel no awkwardness or fear.” He whimpers at Lee’s words as his bottom lip quivers. 

“Go and be happy. She makes you feel better.” 

“What am I going to do without you?” He asks, his voice cracking as he holds his arms out to her. 

“You’re going to smile.”  In an instant, she was gone. Lee’s form fades away in a sudden breeze that chills Jeongguk to the bone. He shivers before closing his eyes and swallowing. She wasn’t there either. 

“Lee?!” No answer but the sounds of birds chirping outside the warehouse. Jeongguk buries his face in his lap before taking a deep breath. Lee left him, after all these years. She just disappeared, to prove that Jeongguk didn’t need her anymore. He didn’t need to depend on her when you were around. He smiled and laughed, he felt relief. Felt at home. He clears his throat before pulling out his almost dead cell phone from his back pocket. He scrolls through his contacts before putting his forehead to the lip of the table as the phone rings. “Jina. Is Y/N working?”

Jeongguk steps out of the elevator on the seventh floor before looking down at Junkwon. 

“She’s with someone.” He tells Jeongguk as he walks towards 732. 

“Open the door.” His voice is brisk as he stares at the three gold numbers that hang on the door. He could hear moaning inside the room before cracking his neck. 

“I can’t Jeongguk, I’m sorry.” Jeongguk sighs before pulling out his wallet and pulling out a few hundred bucks. 

“Go away.” 

“You can’t just-” Jeongguk shoves the money into Junkwon’s semi-open hand before pulling out his gun. 

“Go away.” Junkwon counts the money before sighing and walking down the hallway. 

“Don’t hurt her.” Junkwon calls to Guk as he rings for the elevator. 

“Never.” Jeongguk shoves the door open. He takes you into his sights, you were on your knees jerking off some random guy. You looked bored and unamused before looking over and gasping. Jeongguk points his gun to the guy. 

“Get out.” “Jeongguk!” Jeongguk walks over, cocking his gun before grabbing your robe and throwing it at you. 

“You heard me? Get out.” The man scoffs before standing up and pulling up his boxers. 

“Hey man! I paid a lot of money for this!” You haphazardly put the robe on before stepping away from your client. 

“Jina will pay you back. Get out. I’m asking nicely.” You look up at Jeongguk, his black hair is fixed behind his ears. His domineering persona was something you’ve never seen before and you can’t say it didn’t intrigue you as you lean against the wooden table. 

“Okay! Okay! I’m going. Shit.” Jeongguk watches as the man fumbles to get his pants up from around his ankles. His eyebrow raises as the guy looks at you before stepping in front of your small figure. 

“Don’t fucking look at her. Get out. Now.” The man grabs his dress shirt before running out the hotel room door and slamming it behind him. Jeongguk uncocks his gun before putting it in the back of his pants. 

“Hi?” You say before sitting down on the edge of the bed. 

“Hi.” Jeongguk whispers before sitting down next to you. You sigh before looking at him out of the corner of your eye, taking in the way his black hoodie was two times too big for him. It was endearing. 

“Feel better?” You ask quietly as Jeongguk closes his eyes. 

“I do now.” You hum playfully before laying back on the bed. 

“That was hot.” You tell him as he turns towards you. He snorts before laying down beside you. 

“What was hot?” 

“Defending my honor like I don’t do this for a living.” Jeongguk chuckles openly before turning on his side to look at you. His warm brown eyes bore into yours before fingering at the white duvet cover. 

“I’m sorry I left that day.” How could you hold a grudge against him when he looks like this. His big doe eyes gazing into yours only shows how guilty he actually feels about it. 

“Wanna talk about it?” 

“Yes, I do.” His answer surprises you, he normally says no or looks away quite quickly. 

“Oh! Okay! Let me put some clothes on!” You go to sit up and Jeongguk’s arm cages you down onto the bed. 

“No, stay.” You take a deep inhale before turning on your side to face him. “Alright.”

Jeongguk gives you a small smile, the corners of his mouth quirk up as he stares at you. 

“You’re very beautiful.” Your cheeks heat up pink at his compliment, he's always looked at you like you were pretty but he's never said a thing before. 

"Thank you. You too." Jeongguk chuckles before laying his head down on the pillow. He clears his throat before taking off his sweater and throwing it elsewhere. His white tank top reveals all of his tattoos up to his chest and you can't help but look at the tasteful designs he has printed on himself. They look great on his honey colored skin. 

"I don't want to keep running away from you anymore. I like you. I just have some...undealt with issues." He takes some time before completing his sentence but you stay quiet as if to tell him to keep going if he chooses to do so. 

"Do you like me?" He asks, tilting his head into the pillow. 

"I do." You tell him honestly, making him smile. 

"Okay, good." You giggle at his beaming smile before he looks off past you. 

"Don't get...I don't know weirded out when I tell you my story." You nod to him before putting your arm under the pillow getting comfortable. He was different now, he was uncertain, sure. But, he was nervous or anxious to look at you. He wasn't fidgety and making himself uncomfortable, he was just him. And, it's really nice to see that. 

"Years ago I had a girlfriend-" Jeongguk clears his throat before sitting up suddenly, "-her name was Lee. I loved her, a lot. She was the first person I fell in love with. Um…" He looks down at his legs as he rubs his hands over his sweatpants. You put your hand on his knee before sitting up, your head tilts to the side as you watch him struggle to swallow. 

"Fuck. Fuck! Sorry." You shake your head as he takes a deep breath. 

"So, yeah, I loved her and she lived in the house I live in with my crew. One day I came home and called out for her and she wasn't answering me. Me and my boss, Jimin, he's been my best friend since we were younger. We ran upstairs and there were little drops of blood on the floor." You close your eyes as Jeongguk clears his throat again before squinting. 

"She was dead. In our room. Another gang had killed her and did stuff to her body." You put your hand over your mouth as he struggles to go on. 

"That was a long time ago, but she stayed with me. Like, a ghost. I would see her every night in my dreams and when I closed my eyes. She was always there. And, it started to get out of hand. I was drinking a lot and I was very angry. Guilty. I was so guilty. Y'know? What if I got home just ten minutes or twenty minutes before I did. What would have happened? It ate me alive, then I would see her and feel this fucking weight pushing down my goddamn chest every second of the fucking day. Everyone around me was getting married and falling in love and I was stuck in this sick little fucking sand glass that kept flipping over when the last piece of sand was about to fall." Jeongguk sighs loudly before looking at you, his hand grabs your wrist before pulling it away from your eyes. 

"But, then. I met you. And, I really liked you because you made me feel comfortable and I didn't feel like this anxious wreck anymore. But, I got scared because before you Lee was painted on the back of my eyelids every second of the day. After I met you she started to fade. Then she left me completely, that was the day I had the panic attack. I felt frightened because she wasn't with me anymore and I-I was so used to it that it made me terrified. I felt guilty that I pushed her away or something. But, I felt even more guilty that I might have pushed you away. That I fucked up my chance for you to like me when I left you that day. Lee was a big part of me that left because you made me feel safe. You make me feel comfortable. And I-I really l-like you. I want to get to know you and not have to feel guilty or worried anymore. I just want to be able to be myself and smile again. You make me smile." 

Jeongguk presses his lips together after he's done talking and he notices how glossy your eyes have become during his talk. You nod to him before giving him a small smile. You lean forward before enveloping him in a hug, he feels his body relax and he didn't even know that he was tense. His arms snake around you before hugging you back. You could feel how fast his heart is beating through his chest as he holds you tightly. 

"You make me smile, too." Warmth starts to seep through him, starting at his heart and spreading through his limbs as he holds you close. Jeongguk pulls back before brushing some stray wisps of hair behind your ear. 

"I'm going to kiss you." You nod at his chivalry before closing your eyes. He takes this moment to look over your features, how soft and angelic you look in this lighting. He thumbs his finger over your bottom lip before leaning in and kissing you slowly.

His kiss was soft and sensual. A small jolt of electricity runs through you as he places one hand to the back of your neck. You would never have assumed this drop dead handsome man could kiss like this. His tongue licks over your bottom lip and it produces a fire in your belly. 

A gasp emits from you, mouth opening as your nerve endings tingle. Jeongguk takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. His tongue, tasting and caressing every inch of you before mingling your tongue with him. His hand pulls you closer, his instinct to have you close makes you mewl as you grab onto his tattooed arms. He pulls away, only to take large breaths to fill his lungs before diving back in. His hands find your hips before flipping you onto him. 

His back hits the mattress with a thud as you lean down to smother him with more kisses. His large hands trail downward. The feel of satin wraps him in a cloud of pure pleasure as his hands come to rest on your ass cheeks. He groans into your mouth and the sound is so intoxicating that you feel your core seeping with liquid pleasure. 

"You're so fucking gorgeous." He whispers as you kiss down his neck, your teeth gently biting at his smooth skin. Jeongguk's hips buck upwards as his eyes close. Behind his eyes all he can see is you, the image of you above him is a welcome sight photographed onto the back of his lids. You tug at his shirt and it brings him back to reality as he opens his eyes. He sits up only to tug off the white article of clothing. Your eyes marvel at his tattooed chest, the way the planes of his eight pack highlight each tattoo perfectly. Jeongguk grabs at the robe belt before pulling it undone. He takes a sharp inhale of breath before looking up at your eyes. 

"Are you sure?" You ask quickly, his blown out pupils shake as he chuckles. "Kiss me, baby." 

You can do nothing but oblige as his hands begin to trail over your bare thighs. His fingertips knead at your skin as he sits up. You wrap your legs around his waist before feeling how hard he is underneath you. A gentle mewl leaves your lips as he kisses down your neck with heated fervor. 

"Feel how hard my cock is for you?" Your arms wrap around his neck as your head lolls back. Jeongguk playfully nips at your bust line before groaning as you thrust your hips to his. 

"I'm going to cum in my pants if you keep doing that." 

"You feel so hard." Jeongguk smiles against your skin before kissing at your cheek. 

"All for you, baby." This was serious whiplash. You could never have expected this. Jeongguk flips you over with ease, his thick thighs pining you underneath him as his lips lazily traipse down your chest. 

His hand snakes underneath you before taking a moment to unhook your bra. It was clumsy but he was determined to do it with one hand. 

"It's been a while." His admission makes you giggle as he finally unhooks your bra. Jeongguk groans as he throws your bra onto the floor. Your nipples become stiff at his longing stare. 

"Fuck." His warm lips envelope one, his tongue flicking at the sensitive skin as you whimper out his name. Something possessive flits across his gaze as he stares up at you. His fingers trail your thighs before swiping up your soaked panties. You could feel how they stick to you, almost embarrassing soaked. 

"Say that again, baby. Say my name again." He rubs your clit through your underwear. The silken fabric feels amazing against your sensitive nub as you moan out. 

"Jeongguk." He hums before bending down and pecking your lips. 

"That's right. That's who you belong to now. And, I don't share." Is he telling you to quit your job? You don't have much time to dwell on it, though as his fingers hook into the sides of your panties before peeling them off of you. The cool air of the room berates your sodden cunt as your skin produces goosebumps. 

"Look how wet you are, baby. Soaked." His voice is that of wonder as he spreads your legs wide. His tongue licks at his lips as if he's seen a feast in a great banquet. 

"Please." You whimper as he bows his body down. 

"What do you want?" His lips kiss at your pubic bone, teasingly slow kisses litter your skin and upper thighs as he intertwines both of your hands locking them to your sides. 

"I want you to touch me." Jeongguk looks up at you, his black hair beginning to stick to his forehead as he smirks. 

"Want me to touch you like everyone else that comes in this room? You think you deserve it, baby?" You wiggle your hips, trying to thrust them towards him. 

Your cunt was aching, a dull pounding reverberates through your lower half as you bite your bottom lip. "Your pussy is soaked and I haven't even started. What does that say about you?" You gasp as he kisses your clit. 

"Jaebeom was in this room not too long ago. You remember him? He touched your pretty little pussy I bet. You think you deserve my touch?" Jeongguk gives a flat swipe with his tongue to your pussy, your body sags into the bed as he pulls away. 

"Fuck, you taste good." 

"I'll be good! Please!" Jeongguk chuckles before suckling at your pussy lips. 

"Please, Daddy." His tongue gives two quick licks to your clit before blowing on your pussy. Your cunt quivers and throbs as the ache begins to drive you insane. 

"Please, Daddy! Please!" Your hands are squeezing his so tightly, he wonders where you get the strength from for it. "Good girl." 

His lips suckle at your clit, his teeth rake gently against the sensitive nub as you moan loudly for him. He hums in agreement as you lift your hips to buck up into him wanting to feel more. He lets your hands go only to push your hips back down into the bed. 

"You taste fucking good, baby girl." He relishes in how fucked out you look already and he hasn't even made you cum yet. He was good at this sort of thing, this sexual torture. He revels in it. 

"Fuck!" Jeongguk smirks before teasing your entrance. His finger slowly enters you as your head falls back. 

"Nuh uh. Watch me. Watch me eat your pussy so well." You whimper, fingers gripping at his black hair as he curls his finger inside of you. 

"Jeongguk!" He likes when you call his name so he takes pity on you and adds a second finger. Your walls begin to flutter, your orgasm approaching at a high speed. 

"I-I'm gonna cum!" He pulls away as you whine out. 

"Tell me what you're mine and that you won't share and I'll let you cum." 

"What?!" You pull at his head but he doesn't budge. 

"Tell Daddy that you're his and his only." He enters his two fingers into you again. Slowly pumping them in as your clit throbs. 

"Daddy, please! I w-want to cum!" Jeongguk hums before spitting on your pussy. 

"That's not what I want to hear." You keen for him as he soothes your clit with a gentle suckle. 

"I'm yours, Daddy! Yours only." Jeongguk sits up before looking at you with passive eyes.

"Yeah, you are and you better remember that, baby girl." You moan loudly as he begins to flick quickly at your clit. His fingers fucking into you so fast it almost knocks the wind out of your lungs. His fingers curl, finding that one spot inside of you that has you melting into the bed. Your orgasm comes back and full throttle as you whinge. 

"Daddy, please! I'm going to cum." Jeongguk moans as he feels your walls coax him. 

"Cum for me." As if he has given you the right to do so, you orgasm for him. Your eyes fill with spots as your thigh tremble with pleasure. 

"Good girl." He pulls away from your clit, his fingers slowing as you come down from your high. You looked gloriously fucked out before him, thighs and cunt still twitching as you lick at your swollen, kissed lips. He pulls his fingers out of you and you mewl at the loss before lifting your head. "We aren't done here. I'll fill your needy cunt, baby girl. Don't worry about that." 

Jeongguk stands up tall, his hands pulling down his sweatpants as you sit up on your elbows. His cock springs out, slapping his stomach and smearing it with precum that seems to be oozing like a never ending waterfall. His tip was an angry red as he strokes at his long length. Okay, you knew he was hard before but this, this is impressive. He had the length and the girth that has your mouth watering as you look up at him through your lashes. He chuckles at your surprise before sitting up on the bed, back resting against the headboard. His hand lazily strokes his cock before tilting his head at you. 

"Come suck on Daddy's cock." You're quick to scramble in front of him, your body falling between his open legs as he stares down at you. He nods his head simply before letting his cock go. 

"No hands." He says as you go to grasp him. You lean down, swirling your tongue around the tip earning a sigh from him as he grasps your hair into a makeshift ponytail. 

"Suck Daddy's cock better than you did Namjoon hyungs." With pleasure. You swirl your tongue around the base before bobbing your head up and down with quick movements. 

"Oh fuck." Jeongguk's teeth clench as he watches your cheeks hollow out. You gag on his cock, spittle and tears streaming down your face as you look up at him. 

"That's a good girl. Choking on my big cock like some cum slut." You whimper against him, his eyes falling between your legs as your arousal and cum drip down your thighs. 

"This is the only cock you'll be sucking so you better take good care of it." You moan against him and Jeongguk's eyes flutter shut. You gag on him once more and he taps at your throat. 

"Take it in." You whimper quietly before relaxing your throat for him. Wanting to do nothing but please him as he looks back down at you. You nestle your nose against his bare pubic bone earnings a hum from Guk. 

"Good girl, baby." He tugs at your hair gently, testing the waters only to be rewarded with a whine. 

"Mmm. Fuck. You like that? Like being pulled like a little fucking rag doll? Hmm?" He pulls harder and you moan against him, the reverberation has his cock thrusting gently into your throat. 

"You're so fucking pretty choking on my cock like this." He pulls your head up, before pushing it back down on his member. His toes curling in pleasure as he groans. 

He does this a few more times gently before beginning to thrust into your throat. "Fuck! That's it! Take this cock baby girl. No one else gets to fuck this throat but Daddy. You hear me?" You moan for him as his cock begins to throb. 

"I'm going to cum down your throat and you're going to swallow and show me that you're a good little girl that can follow instructions." You grab at his thighs as he puts his hand around your throat, squeezing gentle as he feels his cock pumping in and out of you. That's all he needs before he's groaning loudly. 

"Oh Y/N, shit! I'm cumming!" The way he moans your name has you fueled with desire, you greedily guzzle his cum as he streams ropes down your throat. 

"Fuck, baby! Fuck." Jeongguk gasps, his head lolling back as he eases up on your head. You pull off of him before showing him your empty mouth. He hums before wrinkling his nose and leaning up to kiss you. 

"Good." He lays you down before twirling his finger. "Get going." 

You flip over, face down and ass up as Jeongguk slaps your ass. "Who do you belong to?" You moan as he soothes the rub, "You, Daddy." Jeongguk kisses down your back before spanking you again.

"That's right. Good girl." You whimper as his slaps get stronger. 

"You let Namjoon hyung cum in your pussy?" His question sounds rhetorical but you answer him anyway. 

"No Daddy, everyone uses condoms." Jeongguk hums at the information before running his cock through your soaked lips. You moan gently burying your face on the mattress. 

"Does Daddy have to use a condom? Is baby girl on birth control?" 

"Yes, Daddy. I want you to fill me, show me I'm yours." Jeongguk takes a sharp breath between his teeth before smiling. 

"Aren't you just a perfect little girl, hmm?" You smile at his praise before rubbing your pussy on his cock. Jeongguk groans before stilling your hips.

“Be good, don’t make me punish you. I just became your boyfriend, don’t make me scare you off.” You laugh at his comment and he chuckles in response before bending over you and kissing you softly. He prods the weeping head of his cock to your entrance before slowly pushing in.

Your mouth opens with a groan as he stretches you, “Thank Daddy for his big cock.” You whimper as Jeongguk buries himself to the hilt. Your cunt begins to accommodate the intrusion by relaxing on him. 

“Thank you Daddy.” He moans gently, his fingers gripping at your hips so hard you know you’ll bruise by tomorrow morning. But, fuck if it doesn’t feel good. He pulls out, his eyes marveling at how sodden his cock has become with your arousal before thrusting back in slowly. 

“Fuck, you’re so wet on Daddy’s cock. Jesus Fucking Christ.” You moan loudly, your fingers gripping at the white sheets as you spread your knees wider wanting more. Jeongguk thrusts harder, his power would send you up the bed if he didn’t have such a tight grasp on you. 

“So tight on me, baby girl. Like your pussy was made for me.” Your eyes roll back as he begins to bulldoze inside of you. Your thighs quake at the pleasure as Jeongguk wraps his hand around the back of your neck pulling your body back onto his cock. 

“Fuck, you feel so good. Such a cum hungry slut.” You moan loudly, as he picks your body up to press flush against his chest. His fingers toy with your nipples, plucking and rolling the stiff peaks between his fingertips as he suckles harshly on your neck. He paints your neck with pretty red and pink patches before burying his forehead in the crook of your neck. 

“Mine. All mine.” 

“Yes, Daddy! Yours! Fuck! Your cock feels so good!” This angle is perfect for your pleasure as the bulbous head of his cock brushes against your g-spot. 

“Yeah? Shit, you feel good on Daddy’s cock, baby girl. Daddy’s gonna cum in your little pussy and claim what’s his.”  His words goad you on to your next orgasm as his fingers open your pussy lips before rubbing at your soaked clit. You sob loudly, head lolling back on his shoulder as he clasps his arm around your waist holding you in place as he fucks you to his liking. 

“Such a pretty little thing getting fucked right open. You’re going to take my cum nice and deep. Hmm? Walk around with my cum running down your legs so everyone knows who you belong to?” You grip at his hair as you feel your second orgasm approaching. 

“Yes. Fuck! Yes! I want people to see you drip down my legs.” Jeongguk lets out an almost inhuman groan as he kisses across your jawline. Your pussy begins to flutter around him, the action making his cock throb. 

“Daddy, gonna cum. Can I?” Jeongguk could fucking die right now and he’d be pleased. 

“Cum on my cock baby. You deserve it.” You moan loudly, ears ringing as you orgasm. Your cum coats the bed and Jeongguk can only choke on a moan as he looks down. 

“Fuck, you’re so hot. Christ.” Your cunt begins to milk him in the aftershock of your orgasm, Jeongguk’s grip on you tightens as he moans. 

“I’m cumming. Fuck. Take it like a good girl. Take it deep.” He gasps loudly before stilling inside of you, his warm seed filling you as he gives a few more short thrusts before gripping you tightly and falling onto the bed.

You giggle before closing your eyes as he kisses the back of your head. “Turn and smile for me.” You raise an eyebrow before turning with a genuine smile. 

“I love that. You’re so beautiful when you smile.” He wrinkles his nose once more before kissing you gently. His teeth gently nipping at your bottom lip lovingly before sighing. Jeongguk pulls out of you before looking down at the mess your pussy makes as his cum floods out. 

“Fuck, look at that.” He murmurs before smirking. You lay on your back, eyes taking in his tattoo riddled body before smiling. Who knew the nervous man you met a while ago would turn into this. Jeongguk stands with a before hearing feet outside the door. He’s quick to grab his gun from the floor and cock it at the door as you raise an eyebrow. 

“Who?!” Jeongguk yells walking over to the liquor cabinet, his eyes still trained on the door. 

“Junkwon.” 

“Fuck off.” Jeongguk calls back before uncocking his gun and putting it on the wooden table. 

“You’re kinda hot Jeon Jeongguk.” You tell him as you sit up against the headboard. He gives a whole hearted laugh, his back muscles tensing and releasing as he pours two glasses of whisky. 

“You’re kinda hot too, baby.” He turns back to you, eyes glued to your cum laden pussy before pointing at you. 

“I meant what I said. You’re mine. No one else's.” You sigh gently before closing your legs. 

“This is my job.” Jeongguk clicks his teeth before walking the expanse of the floor and handing you the whisky glass. 

“We’ll find you something else to do. Jimin’s wife was supposed to be a maid and look where she is now. She can teach you how to be a vixen like she is.” Jeongguk presses his lips to your temple before pulling your naked body to his. You ponder this for a second, you had told him before you never wanted to do this but it paid well. And, you trust him enough to not lead you down the wrong path. “Alright.”

You stand with Jeongguk in his bedroom, his eyes flitting to the green dress he bought Lee that many years ago on the day she was murdered. 

"You don't have to do this, you know. I understand." You whisper to your fiance as you hug his broad back. His hand rubs comforting strokes at your arms around his waist before turning to you. 

"Yes, I do. I've moved on. I'm happy. We've been together for two years. It's time for this to go." You look over at the dress before looking up into his doe eyes. Although one is black and bruised from a fight he got into not long ago because someone looked at you too sexually they still had this innocent look to them. A look that melts your heart as he opens up your bedroom door. He holds his hand out and you take it without a second thought. He leads you down the hallway and down the staircase as you both pass Jimin's wife. 

"What're you doing?" She asks, raising an eyebrow as Jeongguk balls up the green dress. 

"Tying up loose ends." She hums in confusion before shrugging. 

"Have fun, meeting in thirty minutes. Y/N, I expect you to be there." 

"Yes ma'am!" You call back to her as Jeongguk continues to pull you. 

Jeongguk wraps his arm around your waist as you walk out into the garden. Your feet feel the green blades of grass underfoot as you walk out to the firepit behind the row of rose bushes. Jeongguk looks up at the orange sky before sighing. 

"Baby-" He throws the dress into the pit without another word before grabbing a book of matches from his pants pocket. He lights a match before throwing it into the fire pit and looking at you. 

"I love you, baby girl." 

"I love you, too." He sits down on the stone bench before patting his thighs. You sit on him sideways, your arms wrapping around his neck as he leans his cheek against your breast. He watches the green fabric blacken as it scorches to nothingness. He was finally happy, he was finally safe within the confines of someone's heart and he couldn't ask for anything more. He rocks you gently as you run your fingers through his hair. Lee never came back to visit him. Not in his dreams or anywhere else. But, he didn't need her to, he found his own happiness.

[jihyuncompass]

Birthday Wishes

Day Seven, tomorrow is the last day. This week has gone by so fast already, I hope you enjoy this one!

Jihyun Week 2020 Day Seven ( @mysme-events​ )

Birthday

Jihyun Kim x MC 

Word Count: 3.8k

Summary: You celebrate Jihyun’s birthday with a surprise or two. 

You woke up first that morning. The sun started to stream in through the windows, you blinked the sleep out of your eyes and glanced at the clock. It was still early in the morning but you knew soon enough Jihyun would be waking up too. 

Behind you Jihyun was breathing softly. You felt his breath on the back of your neck, and his arms around your middle. In your sleep riddled state you thought carefully through your plan for the day again. You’d planned things carefully but every detail was important. You ran through the plan twice in your head before determining you knew it well enough. 

You turned around slowly trying not to wake Jihyun just yet. You smiled looking over his sleeping features. When he slept he always looked so peaceful, you watched him and pushed some of his hair out of his face. He took a deep breath and sighed, shifting to press his face further into the pillow. Smiling at him you pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

Jihyun hummed in his sleep, his arms around you getting tighter. You continued by kissing his forehead and moved down to kiss his cheek and his jaw. Jihyun shifted and you heard him start to laugh softly. 

“Good morning.” Jihyun said in his raspy morning voice. You gave him one more kiss on the tip of his nose. 

“Happy birthday love.” Jihyun’s eyes opened, though half lidded and still very tired. 

“Thank you my love.” He said leaning in to kiss your forehead. You smiled and ran a hand through his hair to push it away with a smile. 

“What do you want for breakfast? I’ll make you whatever you want.” Jihyun held you tight to his chest. 

“I’ll think about it, but right now I just want to stay like this.” You smiled and put your arms around him to also be holding him, staying close to one another. Together you lied there in silence, just enjoying each other’s company and touch. Lying close to his chest you could hear Jihyun’s heart beating. 

As much as you enjoyed lying close to him you also knew you had to get up soon. Your plans were very careful, and you couldn’t let any mistakes be made. Your hard work couldn’t be revealed so early. 

“Jihyun.” You whispered to him. “We should get up now, it’s time to eat.” Jihyun mumbled above you but you repeated yourself. “Love at least let me cook you breakfast, you can stay in bed if you want.” 

After a second Jihyun sighed. “No, we should eat.” Hesitantly he let you go and sat up to stretch his arms above his head. You both dragged yourselves out of bed and into the kitchen. You started cooking your breakfast while Jihyun started making the morning coffee coffee. Jihyun was one for the hand poured type so he took time carefully pouring water over the coffee grounds. 

You both set your breakfast spread out on the table and drank from your matching coffee mugs. 

“So.” Jihyun began. “I’m sure you have all sorts of plans?” You looked up at him. 

“What makes you think I have plans?” You joked. “Well you’re right I do have a couple. I was thinking we could go hiking at that trail I know you like, and then maybe go for some dinner afterwards?” You asked him. His eye brow raised, but he smiled. 

“That sounds wonderful.” Jihyun said, finishing his coffee. “I’m guessing you’ll want to leave soon?” 

“You read my mind.” You said to him. “I’ll clean up breakfast and get ready so you can go and take a shower and all that.” You explained. Jihyun grinned back, working at eating his breakfast faster now. 

Throughout breakfast your eyes drifted to the clock on the stove. Making a mental note of the time. Considering you’d planned your day down to the minute you had to make sure you were on schedule. You tried to hide your eye on the clock from Jihyun, you were worried you’d give yourself away too quickly. 

He didn’t seem to notice, more focused on enjoying his breakfast and the day ahead. You tried to pace yourself with him on eating, Even if he was finished he wasn’t likely to leave until you’d finished too. 

The second he was finished you were encouraging him to go and get ready. Insisting on cleaning up. 

“It’s your birthday Jihyun! You get to enjoy your day and I’ll do this cleaning.” You waved him off. 

“I really don’t mind helping though.” He said. You shook your head insistently. 

“Just let me do it. Go shower love.” He sighed and got up walking towards the bathroom. Seeing your chance you pulled out your phone to open the messenger. Into the special secret chatroom you had Luciel set up. 

MC has entered the chatroom 

MC: Alright we’re getting ready now. 

MC: We’ll probably be out of the house in the next thirty minutes

MC: Everyone remember the plan? 

Jumin Han: Yes. 

Jumin Han: I’ve already begun preparation on my end. 

Jumin Han: You’re still arriving at the same time correct? 

MC: Yes. That’s the plan. I’ll text you when we’re on our way up. 

MC: Seven, Saeran you have everything sorted like I asked right? 

707: Yup~! We got all the goods! 

MC: You still have the spare key I gave you both right? 

Saeran: Yes. I have it with me. 

MC: I knew I could count on you Saeran thank you. 

MC: Okay. Zen, you’re still picking Yoosung up right? 

ZEN: Yeah. 

ZEN: 6PM right Yoosung? 

ZEN: Yoosung?? 

707: He’s probably playing LOLOL lol 

Yoosung: No I wasn’t!!! 

707: Suuuuuure 

ZEN: Yoosung! 6 right? 

Yoosung: Yep!!! I’ll be ready then. 

MC: Okay, okay. Uh what’s left….

MC: oh! Jaehee, you made that cake I told you about?

Jaehee Kang: I did, I’m putting the finishing touches on it today. 

Jaehee Kang: It’ll be ready in time. 

MC: Thank you!! He’s going to love it I just know. 

MC: Jihyun’s getting out of the shower I have to go. 

MC: We’ll be hiking so I’m not sure how much service I’ll have. 

Yoosung: No service… sounds very familiar. 

707: No WONDER they’re soulmates. 

MC: Haha very funny

MC: Seriously though, if you have questions just ask Jumin. 

MC: He knows the whole plan inside out. 

MC: See you all tonight!!!

MC has logged out. 

Hearing the water turn off you quickly finished your task of cleaning up breakfast and ran to the bedroom to get yourself dressed. You’d just finished putting socks on when Jihyun came into the bedroom with his hair still a little wet. 

Jihyun often insisted on wearing matching outfits. It had started months ago as a one time thing but now he loved going on dates with you while wearing the same clothes. The look of the two of you dressing the same always made him smile so brightly that you could never say no to him. 

Both dressed and ready you left the apartment holding hands. You both had small hiking backpacks on your backs. The hike you were going on wasn’t very long but you knew that it was one that he loved going on.  

As you left the building you looked up to the security camera outside your building. You weren’t certain if Luciel was looking through it but you had to think he probably was. You held your breath and hoped for the plan to go well. 

Arriving at your hiking location you took off down the trail. Jihyun had brought his camera with him. Wanting to take photos of the most beautiful sights he could find. You saw the big smile on his face and the small hop to his step as you hike through the trail .

“Love!” Jihyun said about halfway through. “Can I take a picture of you? I want to capture you in this scenery.” He said. You smiled at him. 

“Well if you insist.” You stepped forward and dropped your hiking backpack. You stepped in front of his camera. This had become a frequent event on your adventures together. He had never shown you but you were certain he kept a scrapbook just full of photos of you. 

His smile turned into his artist’s concentration. Moving to make sure he can get the perfect photo of you. After a minute or two of him snapping photos he lowered the camera and walked up to you to kiss you. 

“Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome, but maybe we should get pictures of you sometime?” You suggested. Jihyun laughed. 

“But you look so much better.” He said.

“Debatable.” You pulled away to grab your backpack. After another moment of smiling at each other you continued down the trail. In the back of your mind you hoped that preparations were going well. While you were with Jihyun you had trust that Jumin remembered all the details you’d discussed last night on the phone after Jihyun had fallen asleep. 

Your hike finished around the time you’d expected. Both happy but a little worn out, you drove home. Trying to keep your expression neutral as you crunched little details in your mind still. 

It would be fine. It’d be just fine. 

Arriving back to your apartment you unlocked the door with a quiet prayer and opened it with a small flourish. Jihyun’s face instantly lit up. 

The living room was filled with several vases full of flower bouquets. Each one carefully designed to convey the right message. Jihyun stepped further inside taking a look at the individual bouquets. 

“How? Who? When?” Jihyun said, still in a bit of shock. You smiled and closed the apartment door behind you. 

“I had the twins come in while we were gone. Saeran made these bouquets.” He looked at you, a huge grin on his face. “He went through every flower with me to make sure we made the perfect ones just for you.” His hands were covering his cheeks as he took it all in. “You like it?” 

He nodded. “I love it. I have to tell Saeran thank you too.” He sniffled looking at it all over. “You’ve made today so special for me. Thank you.” Jihyun said, now getting very emotional. 

You walked up to him and wrapped your arms around his middle to press against his back. “The day’s not over yet.” 

“I’m not sure how you can make the day even better.” Jihyun said. You grinned against his back and held him tighter. 

“There’s still dinner left my love.” You glanced at the clock. “Speaking of which we should start getting ready for, it’s a bit of a drive to get there.” Jihyun looked behind himself to look at you. 

He turned around in your arms to face you. “Is that so? How fancy should I dress?” He leaned in close. You closed the gap and kissed him, though brief you filled it with as much warmth as you could. 

“Whatever is comfortable.” He gave you  a peculiar look. “Trust me. You don’t need to go super fancy.” 

He sighed. “Okay, I trust you. Let’s get ready.” 

You both got yourselves ready and dressed. Jihyun had trusted you when you said to go for something simple and comfortable. Leaving him in an outfit that was nice but not too casual. 

“Am I driving or are you?” Jihyun asked as you gathered up your things for the night. 

“Oh neither of us are.” You said. 

“Then who?” 

“I figured it’d be fancier and more special if we had a driver pick us up. So Jumin kindly let us borrow Driver Kim for the evening.” Jihyun laughed. “On one condition that is.” 

“And that condition is..?”

You stepped towards him, everything you need in hand. “I promised him we’d stop by the penthouse for just a quick minute to say hello. I think he wants to give you your gift in person.” 

Jihyun seemed a bit confused but trusted you. “That sounds fair. Is Driver Kim here?” You checked your phone for a brief moment. 

“Looks like it. Let’s get going.” You reached out your hand to him, a small tradition you’d started doing together. Jihyun took your hand and you left the apartment heading down to where Driver Kim was waiting. 

As you got closer to Jumin’s you’d sent a quick text to the chatroom to let them know you were almost there. Jihyun sitting next to you seemed too happy to even acknowledge that you had pulled out your phone at all. 

“I wonder what this mysterious gift from Jumin could be that it had to be unwrapped in person.” He wondered out loud. You shrugged. 

“Good question, I don’t know either.” You said, now you could see Jumin’s building coming into sight. Driver Kim pulled into the building’s parking lot and stopped the front entrance to the building. 

You thanked him kindly for driving you both. Then walked in together. You’d been in Jumin’s building dozens of times by now but every time still felt so strange and otherworldly as you went towards the elevator that would take you up to the penthouse. Then having to wave hello to the security guards so they would let you past up to the top. 

Waiting in the elevator your stomach was churning. This was the moment you’d been waiting for and now you could only just wait. The doors opened and you walked down the brief hallway to knock on Jumin’s door. 

Jumin greeted you both within seconds. You shared a brief look that told you everything you needed to know. He welcomed you into the penthouse closing the door behind you. 

“Thank you both for coming, I’m sure you have big plans.” Jumin said. 

“It’s no trouble Jumin, I’m glad I got to see you.” Jihyun said. They smiled at each other and then Jumin motioned towards the living room of the penthouse. 

“The gift I’ve prepared is inside, follow me.” Jumin led you both down to his living room where you noticed Jumin hiding a small smile. In the living room he stepped to the side and flipped on the light. 

“Surprise!” From every corner of the room the members of the RFA popped up. Jihyun looked around the room completely taken aback, he looked around at everyone who was grinning at him from ear to ear. Jihyun stuttered for a minute before coming up with something to say. 

“I- what are you all doing here?” Jihyun said. You put an arm around his back to steady him a bit.  

“I kind of lied.” You admitted. “There’s no dinner reservation, but I think a party is a little better.” Jihyun grinned at you and then at everyone who was now gathering around him. His smile was so bright that you weren’t sure if he could have looked any happier than he did. 

He looked around at the rest of the penthouse. The RFA had decorated the penthouse with blue balloons and other party paraphernalia. A small pile of gifts in a corner, some music was playing through a speaker and food was set out on a table. A full and proper birthday party. 

“Thank you.” Jihyun said. “I don’t even know how to express my gratitude.” 

“There’s no need.” Jumin said looking at him. “Just enjoy it.” Jihyun nodded, taking in a deep breath, you couldn’t recall the last time you saw him look so happy. You took his hand in yours, nearly bursting yourself with how happy you felt just looking at him. He walked to the table with the food, several of his favorite foods on proud display. 

“Oh wait!” You said. Jihyun turned and looked back at you. You reached over and grabbed a silly looking plastic crown and put it on his head. You gave you a funny look. “Birthday boy gets a special crown. That’s the rules.” 

“If you say so.” Jihyun said. You looked at the rest of the RFA. 

“Well what are we waiting for?” You said. “Let’s have a party!” 

Outside of the RFA charity parties it was a rare occasion for everyone to gather together in person like this. Usually everyone's schedules were too busy or too chaotic for it to be an option but on a night like this it made you wish nights like this could happen more. 

Jumin and Zen got into a little disagreement but it ended up serving more as entertainment than anything else. Seven had insisted on singing along to every song that played over the speakers, which made Jaehee groan even if she did enjoy it a little. After a while and a few drinks Seven had been able to convince Yoosung to also join in on the singing. Saeran stuck near the fringes of the party, preferring not to talk much, but for Jihyun you knew his presence was more than enough for him. 

“Darling?” Jihyun said after a couple hours. “Can you come with me for a moment?” You nodded, taking his hand. 

You walked out onto the balcony overseeing the city. Admiring the glowing lights of the city around you. Jihyun took a long deep breath then turned to you. 

“Sorry I just wanted to talk somewhere quiet for a second.” He put an arm around your waist, looking deeply into your eyes. “I just wanted to thank you for doing all of this.” 

“It was a group effort, Jumin did most of the planning if I’m being honest.” Jihyun leaned closer, now all you could see was his bright blue eyes. 

“Yes but I’m assuming this was your idea in the first place?” You shrugged. 

“Maybe I can take credit for that.” Jihyun kissed you. His other hand cupping your cheek. Your hands rested on his shoulders, rising up to go around his neck. “Do you like it?” You asked when you’d broken away for a moment. 

After another long lingering kiss he spoke. “I do, this is the best birthday I think I’ve ever had.” You held him close, swaying a bit to the music you could hear coming from the inside. 

“I’m glad.” You whispered. “You deserve a good birthday every year.” You ran a hand through his hair, pushing his hair back a bit. “And I hope I can make each birthday better than the one before it.” 

“You already have.” He whispered. “I love you, I love you so very much.” 

“I love you Jihyun, more than anyone else in this universe, and this birthday is just one of many more to come.” 

Keeping himself only centimeters from your face he whispered just loud enough for you to hear. “I’m looking forward to it.” He leaned forward, kissing you again and again. Each one softer and warmer than the last. He pulled away to look at your face. “I have no idea what everyone has gotten me but I already know what my favorite gift is.” Jihyun said, voice barely above a whisper. 

“What’s your favorite then?” 

“You are.” He kissed you, again and again. “Having you here, in my life, in my arms. I couldn’t have ever asked for anything better.” You held his face in your hands, pulling him forward. You never wanted to be away from him, you just wanted to kiss him forever. 

“There you two are!” Seven said as he opened the door. “Come on, it’s cake time!” Seven left the door open when he ran back into the penthouse. Jihyun sighed but still had a smile on his face. 

“We’ll continue later?” Jihyun asked. You nodded happily, taking his hand to go back inside the penthouse. 

The table once filled with food was now filled with food now just had one thing on it. A large circular white cake, decorated with white frosting and strawberries on top. Jihyun sucked in a breath when he saw it. 

“Is this?” You nodded.

“You once told me about the one birthday you remember spending with your mother. She made you a cake like this right?” Jihyun bit his lip to hold back tears nodding. You hugged him tight while his eyes couldn’t leave the cake in front of him. Candles placed carefully and already lit. 

Jihyun moved from your embrace to stand facing the cake, the smile on his face warm and full of joy. 

“Don’t forget to make a wish.” You said. “That’s the most important part.” 

“I’ll make a wish.” Jihyun promised. Raising your arms you motioned for everyone to start singing. Together in a sort of flawed unison you all started singing. 

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Jihyun! Happy birthday to you!” As Seven continued with joke verses Jihyun closed his eyes and blew out the lit candles while you and your friends clapped and cheered.  

“What did you wish for?” Saeran asked, standing a bit away. 

“That’s not how that works!” Zen said. “You’re supposed to keep it a secret.” 

“No it’s alright.” Jihyun said, his eyes showing you a look of deep and genuine love and affection. “I wished that I could have every birthday be as happy as this one.” With a smile Jumin raised his glass. 

“I think that’s worthy of a toast.” Together you all raised your glasses. Collectively wishing for the same thing. Not a single face without a smile. 

After the cake had been eaten, the presents opened, and the party over you and Jihyun had gotten into bed almost immediately. Too tired to think about anything but sleep. 

Jihyun’s head rested on your shoulder and chest, holding onto you tightly. You had one arm around his waist and the other playing with his hair. You were both nearly asleep now, using your last few moments of wakefulness to enjoy being close to each other. 

Barely awake you heard Jihyun say something to you. 

“I actually wished for two things when I blew out the candles.” He said. 

“Mmm what was the other thing?” You muttered back, not even able to keep your eyes open to look at him. 

“I wished for every birthday to be as happy as this one, and, that you would always be there to celebrate with me.” In your sleepy state you kissed the top of his head. 

“I’ll be here for every birthday you have.” You whispered. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, birthdays included.”

You were asleep before Jihyun said anything more, but in your dreams you could have sworn you heard him. 

“Let’s get married then, my love.” 

[aurathian]

Could you do any au with TP zelink?

I went for a modern AU with this one. This was pretty broad, so I had a hard time coming up with something, but I hope you enjoy!

Hairball

After another long day of work at her office, she couldn’t wait any longer and slipped out of her heels in the elevator of her apartment building. No one else was in there with her, so she assumed it would be okay. All she wanted to do was get to her apartment and soak in a nice warm bubble bath dotted with rose petals. She’d light a few candles around her and dim the lights as she drank a glass of red wine and moody music played softly in the background. As the pain eased off her feet she sighed at the fantasy she created in her mind. Her next step was to take her brown hair out of its tight bun, the locks falling in gentle waves down her back. She shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair as the elevator dinged and the doors in front of her opened. Briefcase in one hand and heels hooked in the fingers of the other, she shuffled out of the elevator and down the hall.

When she reached the door to her apartment, she dropped her heels onto the ground and fished around in her briefcase, muttering questions of where her key could be to herself and the empty hall behind her. When her fingers finally grasped the key, she pulled it out, stuck it in the lock and turned it. She heard a click and turned the knob, setting her briefcase down inside the door before turning back for her heels. She thought it was odd how one purple heel was knocked over on its side. Thinking nothing of it, she scooped them up and went inside to enjoy the bath she’d been longing for.

The next day, after she took off her heels and let down her hair in the elevator the same way she did everyday, after she set her heels down in front of her door and fished around for her keys. She heard a hacking sound, like a violent cough, next to her, but didn’t pay it any mind as she turned her keys in the lock. When she bent down to pick her heels up, there was a small hair ball sitting right next to them.

“Gross,” she said, picking up her heels and walking quickly inside.

The same thing happened the day after that, where she followed the same monotonous routine, except this time the hair ball was directly in one of her purple heels. “Who has cats?” she said aloud to herself. “Just... yuck.” She pinched the heel between her fingers and carried it inside where she promptly cleaned it.

She decided to include “finding hair balls” to her routine of coming home. She supposed it added something a little exciting to her boring life, but it was just another reoccurrence in a world of schedules. She always so bored of life. Going to the same office everyday and doing the same things, as easy as it sounded, became tiring when it never varied. She desired some sort of spice to fill the void in her lonely and repetitive life.

One night, when she exited the elevator and set her heels down at the door, she heard a soft meow below her. Stepping back from her door, she glanced down and yelped in surprise when she saw a black cat calmly licking its paw. It glanced up at her with vibrant green eyes before refocusing its gaze on its paw.

“Hello,” she said awkwardly. She brushed a chocolate lock behind her ear and squatted next to the cat. “What’s your... ugh, this is so stupid... what’s your name?”

She’d never been very good with animals. Forming connections with them was hard for her ever since she was little, but that didn’t mean she disliked them. She always found the notion of speaking to an animal as though they were a human ridiculous and silly, and she was surprised she was doing it on her own accord and not due to pressure from someone around her.

Gingerly, she reached a hand out to the cat, who sniffed it. The cat rubbed up against her palm and purred, a low rumble that Zelda felt in her hand. Her hand glided over its black fur and settled on its head, gently rubbing back and forth as it purred delightfully underneath it.

A door opened somewhere in the hallway with a small click, but she paid it no mind and she continued her ministrations. “Ganon?” someone called. She looked over her shoulder to see who it was that was speaking.

It was a man that was slightly shorter than her with dirty blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. His skin was tan and his muscles well-defined even in the poorly lit hallway. He held a tabby cat up to his shoulder, cradling it much like a baby as he slowly scanned the hallway, patting the tabby cat’s back as he did so.

“Are you looking for your cat?” Zelda asked, standing up and to the side. The black cat meowed loudly and tip-tapped over to the man.

“Ah, yes, I am,” he said, “but it would seem I found him. Or, you did.”

“His name is Ganon?” she inquired, following Ganon to his owner.

“Yeah. Um... oh, I’m Link.” He held his hand out, holding his tabby cat with one hand, and Zelda shook it politely.

“I’m Zelda. What’s this cat’s name?” She let her hand hover over the other cat and when Link nodded, began to stroke its fur.

“This one is Komali,” he told her, voice riddled with love and drizzled with affection. His voice sounded like a pastry—rich with flavor and topped with sweet honey, melodic and delicious.

“Very cute cats,” Zelda replied with a smile. “But one of them left me a hairball.” Link frowned. “In my shoe.” He cringed.

“I’m really sorry. Ganon keeps getting out lately, but I didn’t know he was leaving hairballs.”

“It’s alright,” Zelda sighed. She shifted back and forth on her bare heels as he awkwardly looked at everything but her. “Okay, well, goodnight.”

“Nice to meet you, Zelda,” Link said before retreating into his apartment with Komali in his hands and Ganon proudly marching behind.

The next night, Zelda was in the elevator at the same time as her new neighbor-friend Link. They only exchanged hello’s and Zelda’s daily routine was interrupted by his presence. Her heels stayed on her feet and her hair up in its tight bun. When they exited the elevator, him allowing her to go first (what a gentleman, she thought), the door to his apartment creaked open and Ganon padded out into the hallway.

Zelda snickered while Link stared in disappointment. “Maybe you need better locks,” she joked. Link picked his cat up and just stared at him blankly.

“We talked about this last night,” she heard him say, “you can’t keep doing this.” When he spoke to animals, it didn’t seem silly to her anymore.

“You know, I don’t really mind,” Zelda said as she felt around for her key. “He’s a very cute cat.”

“And you’re a very cute woma—”

She stared at him and blinked once, and then twice. His mouth was frozen in an o-shape, surprised at the words that had come out of his own mouth. After some odd, silent moments of staring, he finally spoke.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, like, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“Do you want to get coffee sometime?”

She blinked once, then twice, again. She nodded, dumbfounded.

Link sighed and his entire body visibly relaxed, the tension everywhere coming loose. He chuckled and held Ganon to his shoulder. He ran his free hand through his hair and his eyes sparkled in the broken hallway light.

“Tomorrow?” he asked. “Ganon can come knock on your door.”

“...Sure.”

Link gently grabbed Ganon’s paw and waved it goodbye to Zelda before he dipped into his apartment and shut the door. Her hand stopped looking around in her briefcase and she sunk to the floor against her door. She took off her heels and let loose her hair, staring at the floor in shock.

Maybe her life could be exciting after all.

[whatareyousearchingfordean]

Happiness Begins

Part 14

Chapter Summary: The reader and Jensen enjoy their time together in whatever way that they can. 

Word Count: 3.2K+

Warnings: Language, semi-public sex, unprotected sex, awkward conversation

Author’s Note: This part really got the better of me, and I’m not even sorry for the extremely awkward scene in here. Besides, I think it will work out interestingly in later parts. It was inspired by an actual conversation between Jared and Jensen. Once you read I’m sure you’ll know what I’m talking about ;) Okay, enough rambling.... enjoy! xo Alex

Catch up with the series masterlist then head on over to Alexandra’s Library for more works by yours truly!

Keeping their extracurricular activities contained to Jensen’s apartment was, for the most part, an easy endeavor. The tricky part was not letting Clif in on their secret. She spent her fair share of money on Ubers back and forth from Jensen’s apartment in the evenings. It wasn’t that they didn’t trust Clif to keep their secret, it was that they didn’t want to put him in the position that he would have to. In the end, she would say that it was worth it. The two of them had the chance to act like a semi normal couple. At least, there was no one she had to lie to about where she was going. Unfortunately, their week was up quicker than they had anticipated. 

A soft ding rang out in the quiet room. The sun was just rising over the horizon as he stirred awake. Jensen reached over for his phone, careful not to disturb the woman sleeping next to him. He opened his phone, only one eye open as he adjusted to the light. He had to read the text twice before his sleep riddled brain could comprehend what he had read. 

“Shit.” He cursed under his breath and rolled over. He gently shook her shoulder and she groaned in response.

“Sweetheart, you gotta get up.”

“Why?” she whined, her face still stuffed into the pillow. The two of them had spent the beginning of their Saturday night drinking too much beer and eating more pizza than was humanly possible followed by an emotional viewing of Titanic, much to Jensen’s dismay. Then they spent the rest of it rolling around between Jensen’s sheets.

“Jared just texted me, he’s back early and wants to shoot some hoops. He’s already on his way over here.” Jensen explained as he brushed her hair from her face. At the news of her brother heading their way, she bolted upright. 

“What? Fuck!” She nearly fell out of the bed in her haste to get up. She picked up her various articles of clothing around the room, slipping them on as she went. “Oh, god. If he noticed I wasn’t home, shit. Does he not wait for a response?” Her thoughts just fell from her mouth as they crossed her mind. She looked over at Jensen who was out of bed now too.

“Apparently not.” He shrugged as he slipped a t-shirt over his head. He grabbed a pair of basketball shorts as he chased after her out of his room. She was running around the kitchen, looking for her coat and purse, Jensen just watching her, not sure how to help her at that moment. 

“Babe, have you seen my phone?” She asked as she pulled on her coat, her hands searching the pockets for any trace of it. 

“Um, last I saw it was on the coffee table.” He moved towards the couch. Sure enough, there it still sat. He grabbed it for her and she rushed to him. 

“Thank you.” She pulled the phone from his hand, leaning in to place a chaste kiss to his lips. 

“Anytime.” He followed her to the front door of his apartment. “Hey, Y/n/n?” She paused, half way out the open door. 

“Yeah?” She turned towards him. Her hair was still disheveled from their activities last night and sleep. Her mascara had run in the corners of her eyes a little bit, but the smile on her face as she turned to him, well, he swore his heart skipped a beat. 

“This is okay, right?” He knew she would understand what he was asking. Neither one of them had stepped into this relationship with any preconceived notions about what this was. That didn’t mean he felt bad, kicking her out in the morning like she was his mistress and his wife would be here any second. 

She flashed him a wicked smile and shrugged. “It’s kinda fun actually. Running around and fucking each other in secret, it’s all kind of thrilling.” 

“You’re sure?.” 

“I’m sure, Jay. I gotta go, though.” She kissed him again, letting her lips linger for a moment this time. He had to fight the urge to chase after her as she pulled away from him. He watched her head the opposite way down the hall and disappeared into the stairwell. 

Jared arrived not even ten minutes later, a basketball in hand. 

“Why do we always have to shoot hoops so early?” Jensen complained as he let Jared into his apartment. Jared followed him to the kitchen where he grabbed a water bottle to fill up. 

“Cause old man, it’s good for you.” He teased, setting the ball down on his island. “Speaking of which, I drank a lot of water this morning, I gotta hit the head.” Jensen waved Jared off as he ran to the bathroom. He shook his head to himself. Jared was insufferable when it came to being healthy. Sometimes, it scared him how much the two of them really were like Sam and Dean. On some days, they were nearly indistinguishable. 

Jensen was screwing the lid onto his water bottle as Jared came back into the kitchen.

“So, did you have a good night last night?” Jared asked, his eyes narrowed at Jensen as he sat down on one of the bar stools. If Jensen had been taking a drink at that moment, he would have spit it everywhere. 

“I mean, I guess.” His voice had risen, the difference in octave only noticeable by him. 

“Dude,” Jared cocked his head. “I know.” Jensen swore he was having a heart attack then. This is what they felt like, right? His heart was in his throat and he couldn’t remember how to breathe. There was no way Jared knew, he would not be this casual if he did.

“Know what?” Jensen kept up his innocent demeanor as his heart beat pounded in his ears. 

“You got laid last night and you didn’t tell me.” Jared shoved his shoulder across the counter. He continued when Jensen cocked his head in confusion. “You didn’t do a good job of hiding the evidence in your bathroom. Now come on, give me all the details. Was she hot?” 

“Well, I don’t... let’s just drop it. And stop being so damn nosey, dude.” Jensen tripped over his words as he tried to come up with something coherent to say. Jared really was too nosey for his own good. Like who in their right mind looks through people's trash? 

“What? It’s not like we haven’t talked about these things in the past. Please, I need to live vicariously through you, kids really put a damper on your sex life. Gen and I barely got two minutes alone all week.” Jared was now giving Jensen Sam’s signature puppy dog eyes. 

“Believe me when I say that you do not want to hear the details.” Jensen mumbled trying not to meet Jared’s eyes. 

“Why was she crazy?” Jensen’s eyes were nearly bulging from his head as he silently begged his friend to just shut up. “She asked you to do something weird didn’t she? Girls are into weird shit nowadays, I guess, I don’t really know. When Gen-” 

“Jared!” Jensen cut him off, really not wanting to hear him say anything else. The two of them had talked about the occasional hookup, Jared less so since he got married, but if he knew what he was saying right now, he’d cut out his own tongue. But Jensen also knew if he didn’t say anything, Jared would not give up. “If I tell you one little thing, will you shut up about it?” 

“Fine.” Jared relented and shifted in his seat like an excited puppy eager for a treat.

Jensen thought over what to say next. He had to come up with something that wouldn’t scar Jared for life if and when their relationship eventually came out, for whatever reason, but also juicy enough to shut him up. “Yes, she was hot. No, she did not ask me to do anything... weird. Happy?” 

“No man, come on, you gotta give me something more than that.” Jared looked at him like a kid in a candy store. He wanted anything but to say the next thing to come out of his mouth, but he knew Jared would not let it go if he didn’t give him something. 

“Fine. She is… particularly well skilled with her… with her mouth.” Jensen tried not to look completely disgusted as he said it out loud. He felt dirty saying out loud. Jensen had a little sister too, and if her husband ever said anything like that to him, he would probably kill him. God, he was so dead. 

“Yeah she was.” Jared was practically cackling while Jensen imagined himself rolling into a tiny ball and then off of a cliff. 

“Can we just go now, please?” Jensen grabbed his water bottle and headed for his front door. 

“Year sure, but if you hook up with this girl again, I want to meet her.” Jared followed after him, a huge smile still plastered on his face. 

I wouldn’t be so sure of that...

****

That following Monday brought all three of them back to set. It was a typical morning, complete with the oddest conversations she had heard two people have. 

“I really don’t think you are getting my point here.” Jensen was focused on her as she worked on his face, though he was currently talking to her brother. It was a tiny habit that Jared hadn’t picked up on, for which she was thankful. She loved the warm feeling his small smile sent through her whole body, too much to make Jensen stop.  

“Oh, it’s you who doesn’t understand my brother.” Jared promised from the chair next to him. 

“Macaulay Culkin would kick Michael Cera’s ass. He’s a crafty little devil.” Jensen argued his side. The two of them had started this whole ‘who would win in a fight’ conversation nearly twenty minutes ago. Neither had yet to make a compromise. 

“No way, in hand to hand combat, Michael’s got the upper hand.”  

“Are you serious? Macaulay's got experience. When have you ever seen Michael in a fight scene?” Jensen shifted his focus back on her. “Y/n please knock some sense into your brother.” 

“Oh no, don’t bring me into this.” Her eyebrows rose on her forehead as she fought back a smile. These two guys could really get out of hand in their conversations. She couldn’t even remember what had started this whole thing in the first place. It was entertaining, she had to admit, but she couldn’t take sides in this one. There is no way she would win. 

“She’s afraid of what you’ll do to her if she agrees with me.” Jensen pointed an accusing finger at Jared. 

“Ah, you are always so confident that I agree with you, huh?” She leaned back against the countertop and crossed her arms. 

“Yeah, cause I’m usually right and both of you know it.” Jensen’s tongue was peeking between his teeth as he stared up at her. The glint in his eye felt like a personal challenge, so she decided to weigh her options.

“Well big guy, I’m sorry to disappoint you but, I have to go with Jared on this one. Michael is a bigger dude and he’s also not weakened by drug addiction.” Jared threw his head back and clapped as he let out his laughter. Jensen’s smile dropped and Y/n was biting the inside of her cheek as she tried to keep a straight face. . 

“If anything the drugs give him an edge.” Jensen muttered under his breath as he stood. Y/n broke then as Jensen muttered his way out of the trailer. She may pay for that one later, but it would be worth it.

“I really would have thought you would have sided with him.” Trish was giggling as she continued to work on Jared. 

“I was, until he got cocky.” She smirked as she collected the makeup into Jensen’s bag. Jared burst out laughing again.

“That’s my girl.” Jared held up his hand to her and she high fived him. 

Y/n went back to collecting the items she would need on set that day when she saw if laying underneath her belt. “Jay left his phone.”

“I’ll take it to him.” Jared held out his hand for the phone without even looking her way. She hesitated, weighing her options yet again. On one hand, she could hand it over and let Jared return it on set. On the other, she was done until filming started and if she took it to him now, they would have a few minutes alone in Jensen’s trailer. 

“I can take it. Besides, Trish isn’t done fixing your face.” She held the phone against her chest. “I’ll see you guys on set.” 

She skipped out of the trailer with Jensen’s bag and phone in hand. Jensen’s trailer wasn’t far from the makeup one, allowing her to arrive in no time. She stepped up onto the first step and knocked on the door. 

“Come in.” Jensen's voice came muffled through the door. With a deep breath, she opened the door and entered. 

“Hey, you forgot your phone.” She started, her voice trailing off as she took him in. He had nixed the flannel and was in just a t-shirt. The material was tight over the expanse of his back and around his biceps. The whole view was intoxicating, and the blood rushing through her body suddenly had her feeling warm. 

“Did I?” Jensen turned towards her, his one eyebrow raised. She flashed the device in her hand before placing it on the counter top. “Hmm...” His lips pursed slightly, hiding a smirk. 

She bit her lip as she realized what he had done. “You did that on purpose, didn't you?” She raked her eyes up his body as he inched closer to her. 

“Maybe...”

“What if Jared had found it? Or Trish? It would have foiled your evil little plan.” She ran her hands up his arms as he slipped his around her waist. 

“Trust me, I was careful to put it where I knew you would find it.” He cocked his head and leaned in, pressing a kiss to her lips. Her body relaxed against his as she allowed herself to be in the moment, to just feel him against her.

“Next time just say something.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Jensen asked as he trailed his lips across her jaw. A shiver ran through her as his lips ghosted across her skin. The hairs across her skin stood up against the stimulation and she could tell her breathing was already picking up.

“I thought we always had fun.” She admitted as her fingers flexed against the muscles of his arms. The timbre in her voice dropped as she licked her lips “I mean, I know I do.” 

A growl rolled up Jensen’s throat and suddenly he was tugging her back towards the couch. 

“Fuck, you can’t say shit like that.” Jensen stopped and put both hands on either side of her face. She grinned up at him. 

“Why’s that?” 

“Cause now I want to bend you over that couch and fuck you until you feel me between your legs all day.” His voice was dangerously low as his hands roamed down and over the globes of her ass. Heat was pooling in her lower belly and her arousal got the better of her. His presence had that effect on her now. Ever since they broke that damn, everything about him drew her in. His jaw, his smell, the way his jeans made his legs look thick and long. She found herself clenching her legs on set just watching him work. 

“So, why don’t you?” Her voice was breathy as she clutched her fingers into the fabric of his t-shirt at his back. 

“I’ve got to be on set in twenty minutes.” His voice was broken as he weakly protested her offer. Jensen brushed a few hairs from her face as she looked up at him. 

“Sounds to me like you’ve got fifteen minutes to make it happen.” Jensen chuckled and stepped away from her, holding up his index finger at her confused expression. She watched as he went to the door and locked it. A huge grin spread across her face as he came back to her. His eyes were dark as he turned her in one swift movement and pulled her back flush against his chest. 

“Challenge accepted.” Jensen nipped at the sensitive skin below her ear and her hips jutted back against him in response. Jensen’s hands worked their way up her sides and around her breasts. His fingers tugged against her nipples through her bra. She let her head fall back against his shoulder as he rolled the hardened nubs in between his fingers. 

“Jay,” 

“Shh, I’ve got you.” He promised as his right hand travelled down her stomach and into the waistband of her leggings. She mewled as his fingers slipped through her folds and began his ministrations.

“Damn baby, always so wet for me.” She nodded, her eyes closed. Her right hand slid up to the side of his head, her lips searching over his jaw as she held onto him. 

“Only you.” Their bodies moved together as her hips searched for friction. She could feel his hard length against her ass as she pushed against him. If his arms weren’t around her, she thought she might collapse under her shaking legs. Her breaths were coming rapidly as her climax grew, the fire inside her heightening all her senses. She was so close when Jensen pulled his hand from her pants. 

“Fuck.” She gasped, the electricity in her body fading as Jensen let go of her. The sound of Jensen’s belt jingling had her blinking her eyes open. She didn’t have time to react before his hands were on her hips again. He pulled down her leggings and panties just below the knee and bent her over. Her hands fell on the back of the couch just in time to catch her fall. 

“I missed this view.” Jensen huffed as he ran his cock through her folds before pressing into her entrance. 

“Mhm, just move.” She pushed back against him. Their time was limited and he was wasting it. “Patience is a virtue you know.” He smacked a hand against her ass, the sting shooting to her core and causing her pussy to clench around him. Jensen growled in response, the action only encouraging him to move faster. 

“Ha!” The sound that left her came from deep in her chest and she couldn’t have helped it even if she wanted to. They were in no position to be discussing virtues. Jensen gripped both hands on her hips, pulling her back to him hard in response as he thrust forward. 

“Fuck, baby you’re so tight.” She didn’t trust her voice any longer, opting to just nod. The coil was tightening inside her and her whole body was vibrating. It was like she no longer recognized herself when they had sex. Never before had she been able to let loose so easily, let alone find her peak so quickly. Jensen had awoken something inside her she never thought was possible, but here she was, ready to come in no time. 

Sensing she was close, Jensen put an arm around her waist and pulled her back against him. He snaked his fingers down and rubbed against her clit in tight circles. Her hands flew to his forearm grounding herself as her body convulsed, trying to flee from the stimulation. 

“Shit shit shit.” Jensen cursed as her orgasm brought him to his own. He pulled himself from her just in time to release himself on her ass.

“Hold on.” He put himself back into his briefs before grabbing a dish towel. He cleaned her up before helping her pull her leggings back into place. She turned to him, her lip caught between her teeth as she watched him fix his jeans. 

“Was that fast enough?” He grinned when he caught her staring at him. He checked the watch on his wrist, making sure neither of them were late. 

“Mhmm. Yup.” She closed her eyes with a sigh and bobbed her head. 

“Good. Now go. I’ll see you on set.” He playfully swatted her behind to get her moving. 

“Yes, sir.” She mocked a salute to him, winking when she caught the slight rise of his one eyebrow from her words. As she pulled open the door and peeked around for signs of people, she committed his response to memory, ready to use that one later.

Part 15

Forevers:@spn-impala​ @22sarah08 @turtlepad @callmekda @chaldei @hobby27 @casualfestivaltrashpainter @cowboysnwinchesters @tranquility-or-chaos @pikabootoyouchu @dawnie1988 @grease222 @frackinawesomeninja @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @polina-93 @clarinette07 @moonlight-babeh @suckerforfanfic @witandnargles @sleepylunarwolf @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan @geeksareunique @akshi8278

Et Cetera:@jbbarnesgirl​ @hillface89​ @arses21434​ @thevelvetseries​ @sslater34​ @mrsirishboru​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @spnfamily-j2​ @encounterthepast​ @facadeformyrealblog  @supernatural-bellawinchester​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​​ @rebeccathefangirl​ @squirrelnotsam​ @heartinmyhead1 @1d-killed-me​ @samsgirl93​ @deans-baby-momma @deanmonandnegansbitch​ @woodworthti666​ @supraveng​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @heartsaved​ @know2grow​ @littlewhiterose​ @surprisinglysarah​ @stoneyggirl​ @carryon-doctor-lock​ @thebookisbtr​ @youaremyfiveever​ @supersassyprobablysad @lilulo-12​ @winchester-fantasies​ 

[morningfears]

Cocoon

Rating: M | This is smut! No one under 18!

Summary: Soft, fluffy, stoned sex with Calum. That’s it. (Drug mentions, obviously, and unprotected sex.)

Word Count: 3.1k

The playlist that Calum made with moments like this in mind is fading into background noise as your thoughts drift and your eyes focus on the tendrils of smoke pouring past his lips. You can’t remember what assignment you’d been stressed about only a few hours earlier as you watch the way his tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip and you can’t say that you mind. 

Nights like this, stretched out on Calum’s couch with a cloud of smoke lingering above you and his hands exploring your skin, are the ones that you look forward to the most. Before you began dating Calum, you never would have guessed you’d end up here. Yes, you had a tattoo and a nose ring before you met Calum. Yes, you drank occasionally before you met Calum. But you were always the “mom” friend. 

You held a friend’s hair while she threw up or acted as the D.D. during nights out. You planned out your life to the letter and refused to step foot anywhere that didn’t look pristine. You cared more about getting good grades and being as close to perfect as possible than living a fulfilling life and you’re not sure how you managed to make it through without losing your fucking mind.

After Calum, however, things changed. It isn’t as if he ever pressured you, that’s the last thing Calum would do, but he did help you grow more comfortable in your own skin and with letting go of the control that you always desperately wanted. He helped you grow up and become the person that you’d always wanted to be but could never find the courage to become. 

He helped you truly live.

After Calum, you found yourself enjoying nights out instead of spending them riddled with anxiety. You found yourself letting loose and dancing. You found yourself adding more and more ink to your skin in just the way you’d always dreamt. You found yourself with piercings that you’d never even considered before. You found yourself settling into your skin and feeling more comfortable than ever before.

You found yourself thanking your lucky stars that Calum Hood entered your life.

One of the only things that made you wary in the beginning of your relationship, however, was the drugs. You were sort of alright with him smoking weed. You never wanted to make a big deal out of it, especially because it seemed to be something he truly enjoyed. However, you weren’t interested in the slightest but Calum was fine with that. If he wanted to smoke, he’d disappear for a bit and return more relaxed and giggly than when you’d last seen him. He never forced you to participate, rarely asked, and it wasn’t until somewhat recently that your ideas about Calum’s habit changed.

“I fucking hate group work,” you sigh as you settle onto Calum’s couch and rest your legs over his lap, “I’m going to end up doing this whole project alone.” Calum hums his acknowledgement as he traces the small tattoo at your ankle, his fingers brushing the ink almost absentmindedly, but doesn’t say a word. Instead, he lets you continue with, “And it’s not a project I can do alone! I need their help. I don’t know why I picked a major that involves so much group work. Maybe I should switch to English or history or something.”

“You love your major,” Calum reminds you as he turns his head to face you. 

“I know,” you huff as you tilt your head back against the arm of the couch, “I just, I don’t know. I’m annoyed and tired. I’m saying things I don’t mean.”

Calum’s eyes take in the state of your hair, disheveled from your fingers raking through it, and the deep frown on your face before he lingers on the dark circles beneath your eyes. With a sigh, he nudges your legs off of his lap and reaches out for you, his calloused fingers warm against your skin. He gently tugs until you’re situated on his lap before he moves one hand to cup your cheek, his palm gentle against your skin, and allows the other to drop to the top of your thigh.

“You haven’t been sleeping,” he observes, his lips curving into a frown. “Is it just the group project or is it something else?”

“We don’t have to talk about it,” you sigh as you lean in and rest your forehead against his. “You were good before I got here. I’ll just bring you down.”

“My girl’s upset,” Calum scoffs, “we’re not going to not talk about. You won’t bring me down, babe, I promise. My high’s wearing off, anyway, and I just want to help.”

After a moment’s hesitation, you sigh. “It’s partially the project,” you shrug as you focus on the drawstring of his sweatpants, “but it’s also finals and looking for grad schools and work and, I don’t know. There’s just a lot going on, you know?” When Calum nods encouragingly, you continue. “I just can’t seem to get any sleep. I’m worried about this or that or all of the above and my brain just won’t chill. I don’t want to take any sleeping pills but if I don’t start getting some sleep, I’m going to have to.”

Calum is quiet for a moment, his fingers tapping at your thigh as he considers his next words, before he asks, “Have you thought about smoking? I know you’re not a huge fan but it might calm you down enough to get you to sleep.”

Calum is surprised when you nod your head but says nothing as he waits for you to explain. “I have,” you sigh as you shift to look at his face, “I’ve actually done some research on using cannabis for sleep.”

He rolls his eyes playfully at your comment and shakes his head at you. “Of course you have, you nerd,” he laughs as he leans back to get a better look at you. “What did you find?”

“If you’re using cannabis as a sleep aid, it’s better if you’re not a habitual user. So, it probably wouldn’t work very well for you but if I used it every now and again, it might work for me.”

Calum nods, his eyes bright as he takes in your words. “So, it’d help you get to sleep but would it make you feel gross? I know that’s why you don’t like sleeping pills.”

“I don’t think so,” you shrug as you shift in his embrace, “Research is so limited because of our drug policy here in the States, which is a bummer, but, honestly, if it’s not a lot of weed and it’s in moderation, I don’t think it’ll be so bad. And, I mean, I’m getting kind of desperate. I’m willing to try anything.”

Calum raises an eyebrow at your words but thinks better of cracking a lame joke. He knows that you’re bordering on sleep deprived, the dark circles beneath your eyes more prominent than he’s seen, so he keeps his wisecrack to himself and presses a soft kiss to your shoulder. “Want me to get it ready for you or do you want to think about it some more?”

Calum’s face is soft, his eyes displaying his concern for you as he takes in your exhausted form. He’s never pushed, never even attempted to nudge you into smoking weed, and his desire to make you comfortable has never gone unnoticed. You truly appreciate it, you truly appreciate him, and you trust him to take care of you. So, without much of a second thought, you ask, “Can you do it without me moving?”

Calum laughs, a soft sound breaking through the noise of The Strokes, and you can feel it in your chest. “Yeah, babe,” he nods as he moves to sit up and tries his best not to jostle you too much, “just give me a second.”

It only takes a moment for Calum’s hands to find the pipe he’d placed on the coffee table as he grabs it, a lighter, and the little bag of weed, you lazily press your lips to his jaw. You can feel the goosebumps that erupt on his arms, can hear the shuddering breath he releases, and you grin when he tightens his hold on your waist.

“You sure you want to smoke?” he asks as he leans back, his eyes darkened with lust and his cheeks tinting pink, “I know another way to tire you out.”

“What are you thinking about?”

Calum’s voice pulls you from your thoughts and it takes a moment for you to realize that you’ve been staring at him for what must’ve been an abnormal amount of time. After taking a second to gather your thoughts, you answer, “The first time I smoked with you.”

He smiles at the memory and nudges your legs from his lap before he tugs you into him in much the same manner as he had that day. Once you’re settled on his lap, your knees on either side of his thighs, he brings his hands to your thighs and grins at you. “You were so afraid to even be in the same room as me when I smoked,” he reminds you with a smirk as his fingers trace the ink on your exposed thigh.

“Now look at me,” you hum lightly, teasing grin of your own quirking your lips, “smoking with the best of them.”

“You’re an absolute degenerate,” he admonishes with a shake of his head. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Love me?” you ask, a grin on your lips and a warmth to your cheeks as you wrap your arms around his neck and tangle your fingers in his recently bleached locks.

“Always,” he reminds you, his voice taking on the serious tone it gets any time love is mentioned. The atmosphere is light, still happy, but it makes your heart soar to know how seriously he takes those words. However, before you can dwell too long, he leans in and presses his lips to yours in a chaste, sweet kiss. He moves one hand from your thigh and brings it to cup your cheek as the other continues to trace the ink swirling over your skin.

He grins when you breathe a sigh of contentment, your nails gently raking over the back of his neck as he pulls you closer, and nothing else seems to matter as his lips move lazily against yours. You can feel the heat rolling off of him, warm and comforting in the air conditioned space of your shared apartment, as you press against him.

His movements are unhurried, as if he has all the time in the world, as he dips his hands beneath the hem of the t-shirt you’ve stolen from him. His fingers are warm as he brushes delicate patterns across your skin. He grins against your lips as goosebumps erupt over your arms and prickle at the skin of your stomach and you break the kiss with a soft laugh.

“You do that every time,” you remind him as you card your fingers through his hair, just barely grown out from the latest cut, “you make me laugh.”

“If you can’t laugh during sex, you shouldn’t be having sex,” he shrugs, as if it’s the most logical answer in the world.

When you roll your eyes, he grins. “We aren’t having sex yet, Cal,” you remind him with a raised brow as his fingers move a little higher, to the band of your bra.

“I vote that we should be,” he hums with a grin as he lifts his head to meet your eyes. “Unless you want to just watch a movie or something. That’d be cool, too.”

You roll your eyes at his words and laugh as you shift in his grasp to tug your t-shirt up and over your head. “I also think we should be having sex,” you giggle as you reach for the hem of his t-shirt. “And then maybe we can watch Ant-Man again.”

“God, I love you,” he sighs, his voice that reverent tone once more, before you lean in and press your lips to his in another unhurried kiss.

Though your movements are unhurried, you waste no time in raking your nails down Calum’s chest as he unhooks your bra. It takes a moment for you to move your arms and let the fabric fall to the couch beside you but the moment your torso is free from fabric, Calum’s hands are cupping your breasts. It’s almost reflex at this point, his hands on your breasts and his lips brushing your jaw, and it never fails to send butterflies erupting in your stomach as you sigh at his touch.

Calum is softer, sweeter, than anyone you’ve ever met with a heart of gold and a desire to give. He puts you ahead of himself every time and you think that one day, maybe, you’ll get used to it but as his hands smooth over your skin and his lips brush your skin, you hope that you don’t.

It’s quiet, save for the sounds of Van McCann’s voice drifting through the speakers, as you shift in Calum’s grasp. You can feel him, hard against your thigh, he shudders as your hands drag down his torso toward the waistband of his sweatpants. This is your favorite way to see him, hair disheveled and eyes hooded as he lets himself enjoy the moment without thinking too much about time or the world around you. It’s a triumph to see him at his most vulnerable, something friends warned you you would never see only for Calum to let you in far faster than anyone imagined, and it makes you want nothing more than to make him happy as you slip your hand into his sweatpants and giggle at the lack of underwear you find.

“Do you even own any underwear at this point?” you question with a laugh as your fingers find his length.

“Would just get in the way,” he mumbles against your skin as his own hands drift lower. You giggle at his words as you focus on his hands. You can feel the callouses from years of playing bass as he brushes your heated skin on his way to the waistband of your shorts. He shifts beneath you, moves so that you’re sitting up just enough for him to slip his hand into your shorts, and laughs when you release a noise that’s almost a squeak when his fingers brush your folds.

“Love catching you off guard,” he teases, a smile on his lips as he watches you shift above him. You don’t want to rush, you want to savor the moment and take your time, but you can’t help yourself as you shift to get a little more friction. Calum watches, eyes hooded and dark, as you begin to move your hips in an effort to get a little more pleasure just a little feaster, and almost stops moving his hand entirely as he attempts to focus on the feeling of you stroking his length.

“I know we’re going for slow here,” you breathe as his thumb moves to your clit and he begins brushing circles over the sensitive nub, “but I’m feeling like hurrying things up a bit.”

“Is that your way of asking me to just get on with it and fuck you?” Calum asks, his laughter barely contained, as you remove your hand from his sweatpants and attempt to nudge them down as far as you can with him still seated firmly on the couch.

“Yes,” you nod as you begin to shove your own shorts down. “Figured you’d appreciate it more than me just asking you to get on with it.”

“Blunt is sexy,” Calum shrugs, teasing mirth still present in his tone as he helps you out of your shorts, “but I appreciate the attempt at tact.”

You roll your eyes at Calum’s words and he grins. However, before you can complain, he’s pulling you back onto his lap and helping you settle into position. He wants to say that he’s surprised you didn’t last longer, wants to say that he expected the night to drag and the moment to last, but he can’t. He knows how riled up you get when you’ve smoked, knows how little it takes to have you ready to fall over the edge, so he goes with it. He helps you steady yourself and allows you to take control as you sink onto his cock. His hands grip your hips, blunt nails digging into your skin, as your hands grip his shoulders. He waits for you to sink onto him, to bury him to the hilt, and when you lean your head against his shoulder, he releases his grip on your hip and brings a hand to your clit.

His fingers brush the sensitive nub and stars burst behind your eyelids as you feel the pleasure crash over you. Calum can feel you clenching around him, can feel your nails digging into his skin and your breath on his neck, and it only spurs him on as he attempts to guide you in riding him. He meets your thrusts as best as he can, his fingers never stilling as he attempts to bring you over the edge, and you can feel the heat building in the pit of your stomach. It’s almost embarrassing how quickly you cum, the song in the background has only just faded into a new one, but you know that Calum would never judge you. He’s joked in the past that he’s glad he can at least make you cum and you’re beyond glad that’s the case as you feel yourself fall over the edge.

Calum isn’t far behind, his own end coming shortly after yours, and you can feel him still beneath you as he releases a moan of your name. You’re both still for a long moment, chests heaving and bodies flushed, but Calum comes to his senses first and carefully nudges you off of his lap as he reaches for the box of tissues on the coffee table. He mumbles an apology as he helps you clean up before he hands you your t-shirt and tugs on his sweatpants.

It’s quiet for a moment, the only sound being the next song off The Balcony, before Calum taps your ankle and grins at you. “Time for Ant-Man?”

When you grin, Calum nods and reaches for the remote lying on the coffee table.

Your life has changed since Calum entered it but, honestly, there’s nowhere else you’d rather be than in your cocoon of happiness with him by your side.

Author’s Note: Haven’t written smut in a million years. I’m very sorry. 

[thatcrazybookwormgeek]

Teenage Royal Part 5

A/N: At long last, it is here. If I missed you or you would like to be tagged just let me know. 

Warnings: None that I can think of, but let me know if there is any.

Due to Tumbler's new policy, my Masterlist can be found in my bio. Normally it would be linked in each post, but posts with links no longer show up in search results.

Pairing: Coming soon: Peter Parker x Lokidottir!reader!

   Sunlight hit my face as I turned over in bed. My mind traveled back to yesterday, when me and my dad made up. Realizing I wasn’t on the couch where I had fallen asleep I jolted up with a start. My surroundings were familiar and I soon realized I was in my room.

“How’d I get back here?” I asked the seemingly-empty room.

“I thought you’d like to sleep in your own bed. I carried you here while you were asleep.” My once tired brain riddled itself with adrenaline as I faced the speaker.

 My father sat in a chair with a book in his hands, smiling at him I said,“Thank You.”

 Now awake I was ready to start my day. I got out of bed and went to my closet, pulling out a black mini-skirt and a skull tank-top I entered the bathroom. Once dressed I applied my usual green eyeshadow and drew on a dramatic wing. Satisfied with that part of my face I moved on to my lips, filling them in with a black matte liquid lipstick. Looking and feeling like a million bucks I exited the bathroom. I found Loki still sitting in the chair, engrossed in his book one again.

Clearing my throat I got his attention, “What do you think?”

“You look amazing, are you ready for your first day of high school?” I was glad my dad liked it, even if I forgot that it was the first day of school for me.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I answered as we both exited the room and headed down to the kitchen.

The kitchen was chaos as we entered it. Sam and Bucky were arguing as Steve was attempting to make pancakes. Tony and Clint looked half asleep as they sat and drank their coffee, Clint literally out of the pot. Deciding that it would be better to get to school early I grabbed a bagel and a cup of coffee to go. Then me and my dad exited the chaos of the compound.

The ride to school was filled with comfortable silence. Both of us were simply enjoying each others company without the need for chatter. It wasn’t long before the gates of Midtown School of Science and Technology came into view. With a wave to my dad I left the car and approached the building.

Entering the front door I searched for the office. I must have looked lost because it wasn’t long before a student pointed me in the right direction. Thankful for the help I was able to find the office and get my new student packet. Looks like my first block was Science, oh look, I have a student guide. Looks like their name is Peter Parker. Wait. I know that name. That’s the guy I met yesterday. Spiderman.

“Hi, I’m your student gui… Y/N?! What are you doing here?” Just as I put the pieces together none other than Peter Parker walked through the doors of the office where I was told to wait.

“I go to school here now, I just transferred. Tony said this would be a good school for me.” I answered his questions with honesty, it would be nice having a familiar face at school.

“That’s awesome! Principal Morita said you have all the same classes as me, so that means we have science in… 5 minutes.” Peter rambled on like he would die if he didn’t keep speaking.

“Then let’s get going.” We walked through the halls in silence, as we didn’t know what to say.

I had just entered the class when the teacher announced that they were going to have a new student. “Say, here she is now. Can you tell the class your name?”

“Y/N L/N.” I responded as I found an empty seat next to a girl with bushy hair.

“I’m MJ.” The girl next to me introduced herself.

“You already know my name so no use saying it again.” I said with a slightly snarky attitude that MJ seemed to like.

The rest of the morning passed without a problem. The teachers all had me say my name, but that was a minor inconvenience. It was the last class of the day, gym. I don’t particularly hate gym, but it’s not my favorite.

“Alright, Students. Today we’re going to be playing a timeless P.E. classic. Dodgeball. Everyone go grab a jersey and line up the balls on the center-line. We start on my whistle.” The students rushed to do as they were told, and soon we were all ready to go.

The game passed in blurs of balls and dodging. I had managed to get a few people out, although I mostly tried to get Peter out, but his reflexes were just too good. Until he got distracted, then I managed to hit him straight in the chest. Just as he was about to get in the out area the bell rang, signifying the end of school. I walked beside Peter to get to our lockers, as they were right next to each other.

After we had changed out of our sweaty gym clothes and grabbed the books we needed we headed out the doors of school. We were greeted with the sight of an Audi parked on the sidewalk. I recognized the car as the one I had arrived in and began to walk towards it.

“Parker, you coming?” I called over my shoulder.

“Yeah.” He stuttered as he caught up to me.

“Hey honey, Parker.” Getting in the backseat we noticed Loki was sitting in the passenger seat in the front.

“Hey dad. How was your day?” I asked with no hesitation, I didn’t care if Parker knew we were related anyway.

“Dad?! You’re Loki’s daughter!?” Peter asked with eyes the size of dinner plates.

“Yeah, that a problem?” I questioned.

“No, that’s awesome. My friend’s dad is a god. That makes you a goddess!” Peter was cute when he fanboyed, even if it was over my father.

“We’re friends?!” I teased him.

“Yeah, right? I mean, if you don’t want to, that’s fine.” Poor Peter was stuttering so bad at this point I almost felt bad.

“Relax, I was just teasing you.”

The rest of the ride back to the compound was full of meaningless small talk and meme references. Talking to Peter became easier with every passing minute and time seemed to fly at the speed of sound. Before either of us knew it we were at the compound.

Exiting the car we both headed straight to the kitchen for an afternoon snack. Luckily, it appeared that someone had cleaned it up since this morning. Seeing as there was no visible puddles of pancake batter. Still talking we raided the snack cabinets and headed towards the living room. However, to our disappointment it was occupied.

We turned to exit the living room as the voice of Tony Stark rang out. “Nice to see you two getting along. Wanna come play some video games?”

Mine and Peter’s eyes met as we both cried out, “Last one there’s a rotten egg!”

I ended up beating him and calling controller one. To our surprise they were playing Wii Sports. It was quite a sight to see the god of Thunder playing wii bowling. But unfortunately that sight didn’t last. As Thor had forgotten the wrist strap and sent it flying straight into the television. After that we all decided that maybe we should be done with the wii for the night. So we all headed to the kitchen and Steve ended up making burgers.

Having seen Steve’s pitiful attempt at pancakes this morning my hopes weren’t high for the burgers. But apparently nothing is more patriotic than burgers, as The Man with The Plan proved.

After everyone had eaten we all decided that it was too early to call it a night. So we met in the living room with board games. Board games seemed to be a smart idea after the wii fiasco.

However, after getting halfway through a game of monopoly, that did not appear to be the case. Tony had left long ago after being stopped from using real money after going bankrupt. Bruce had opted out in fear of the hulk. Which was probably really smart, as Natasha was currently sharpening her knives viciously. Steve was crying in the corner and Clint and Thor were fighting over railroads. Loki was muttering about “mortal games”, and Bucky and Sam were battling it out in the training room.

“I feel incredibly mature right now. Wanna go find some fruit roll ups and watch Star Wars while we study?” Peter asked as he finished putting the game away.

“That sounds like a plan. Meet you in my room in 20.” I replied as I walked towards the kitchen to find fruit roll ups and soda.

An hour into the study session we ended up having a full blown karaoke war. So far it was tied 1-1, with Clint as the Judge. This was the last chance to win, and I wasn’t going out on a low note. So naturally, I decided to go with one of my personal favorites, Young Blood by Bea Miller.

I blew every note out of the park and poured my heart out into the song. At the end it was clear that I was the winner. But, unfortunately we still had homework. So the rest of the night was spent studying until we both drifted off. Both of our noses buried in books, and various pens scattered across the bed we camped out on.

Early in the morning the light on in Y/N’s room intrigued Loki, and he went to investigate. He knocked, and hearing no answer he entered. Looking around he took in the sight of studying materials and the two teens passed out on top of the covers. Both still in their clothes from yesterday. He smiled at the sight and left the two teens as he wandered his way to the kitchen for tea and then to the library.

Taglist: @ughs-posts @animechick555 @strangerthingshargove

[dr-reid]

Forbidden//Part 2

Part 1 

Summery: Spencer falls down the slippery slope of being in love with someone he shouldn’t be. 

It was difficult at first for Spencer to distance him self from you, it felt as if he had to constantly battle his mind, push him self to remember that you were off limits. An addiction was really the best way to describe it, he literally craved you, the way most people always crave what they can't have.

Just like with every addiction relapses were a thing, Spencer can still remember the first small conversation you both shared. It caught him completely off guard when you walked up behind him as he stirred his sugar in his coffee.

You had asked him about a book he had been reading, it took him a couple of extra seconds to process such a simple question. Luckily before he’d have the chance to respond JJ walked I to refill her cup of coffee.

But after a while he had become used to it, learning to live in his new reality, the reality that had always existed; you were a married woman, vowed to love someone else till death do you apart.

The team was on their way home from a tough case, all cases involving kids always sent you over the edge. Spencer could see how tense you we’re on the flight, your eyes quickly filling with tears if you thought about it too much. Unfortunately this case didn’t have the happy ending, which made it that much harder. 

That night Spencer waited till you we’re just about to leave timing it perfectly to make it seem like a coincidence that your paths we’re about to cross. Just as the elevator doors we’re about to close he slid through them quickly, you we’re the only one there.

Suddenly all the rehearsed lines he had thought of gone, he wanted to say something like, “I hope you feel better.” Something generic, just to let you know that he knew just how you we’re feeling but instead you burst into tears the second he looked at you automatically Spencer wrapped his arms around you.

Once the elevator doors opened you pulled way, with out saying a word Spencer walked with you to your car. What felt like a tornado of emotions rushing through his head he wanted to make the most rational choice, but why was that always impossible when it came to you?

“Do you want to grab a drink, or eat, we can talk if you want? You don’t have to say yes, I just know how hard these last couple of days have been and …” Spencer stopped talking trying to gauge your reaction to his offer.

“A drink sounds good.”

The car ride was quiet you continued to look out the window completely absent-minded. While Spencer tried his best to grip the steering wheel of the car with both hands, trying to keep his thoughts from racing. The small bar wasn’t far from Spencer’s house, you had both gone before.

Spencer ordered you a drink while you used the bathroom, he couldn’t stop fidgeting. You stumbled into the chair on the opposite side from him, quickly drowning down the drink that had been waiting for you.

Both of you had lost track of time, staying in the same table till the waitress came around announcing they we’re closing in about 10 minutes. After paying the tab you held on tightly to Spencer’s hand as you walked out having drank more than usual.

 “Can I just crash on your couch?” You said already half asleep in the passenger seat.

Going up the flights of stairs proved to be a little more difficult than you had thought, breaking out in laughter when you missed a step or took one too many. Spencer continued to keep you steady hanging on to you tightly.

As soon as he opened the door to the apartment you took of your shoes and turned around to face him throwing your arms around his neck and holding on to him tightly, “I missed you so much, Spence.”

Perhaps it was the alcohol, but Spencer wasn’t thinking about that now, how could he when his hands we’re wrapped around your waist. Your arms hung around Spencer’s neck, your noses touching, hesitantly waiting to for one of you finally break.

And so he did, Spencer’s lips collapsed into yours. At first it was fast, messy, rushed as if time was against the both of you. Once your lips parted both of you gasping for air. This time when your lips met they we’re careful, slow, your tongues slowly clashing into each other.

In this moment Spencer knew there was no turning back from this, he was now longer thinking rationally. No, he had lost his mind all together, his heart was leading him on this and there was no stopping it. Slowly you both shredded off each other’s layers of clothes, till there was nothing else between the both of you.

The next morning Spencer woke up to an empty bed. There we’re so many thoughts rushing through his head. Was last night seriously real? He looked around the room for a sign, something you left behind something to he could hang on too. But you had left no trace.

Spencer was on a cloud nine and no where near reality as he walked into the office that morning. As soon as he saw you from a distance his heart began racing, practically racing out of his chest, his head was spinning and he couldn’t help but smile. 

Those feelings we’re quickly halted when he saw who was standing next to you, your husband. JJ, Penelope and Derek surrounded you both as you continued to laugh. As Spencer set his bag down on his desk he watched as you both walked away hand in hand.

JJ could see the look on Spencer’s face, “Hey, are you okay?” she said standing next to him. “Yeah, it’s fine.”

All through out the day he waited for you to look at him, acknowledge him, say anything. That’s how Spencer spent his whole entire day waiting for you to give him some kind of hope, but you didn’t.

The team was currently in the middle of another case, Hotch had ordered everyone to head to their hotel rooms and get some rest. As Spencer sat the end of his bed mindlessly flipping through some files he heard his door knock. Suddenly he was surprised when he saw you standing on the other side, your eyes puffy, red, your cheeks clearly wet from tears. “I know we haven’t talked in a while but I don’t know who else to go to Spence.” 

Spencer opened to door to his room and inviting you to come in, he wanted to say something but he didn’t know where to begin. You buried your face in Spencer’s neck waiting for him to respond but he never did, “I can’t do this” Spencer said putting both his hands on your shoulders. “What?” You said confused.

“Y/N, I can’t do this. I’m not just someone you can run to when things aren’t working the way you want them too. You can’t just use me, then pretend like nothing happened.” Spencer felt every single one of the words as they spilled from his mouth. “You know how I feel about you, you know what you’re doing.”

Spencer waited for a response, but you we’re frozen, there was nothing for you to say. “Spencer, I never meant to hurt you. I know how things played out doesn’t seem very fair but please let me explain…” 

“It’s a little too late for that, Y/N. I think it’s best you leave” he said opening the door to the room, and closing it after you had left.

 Spencer quickly sat behind the door and buried his face in his hands, this was never how he wanted things to end.

TAGS: @reiding-and-writing @arizonalovesher@sithlordalice@queenelsaschuyler@thosefantasticbeast2 @obsessed-with-book-boyfriends@baerrylll@matthewgublers@valiantlyprofoundcheesecake @elyse121303 @mermaid-princess-wannabe@thecrownssmith @bolieve-that @angel-hunter-winchester@wundterwall@crimindsaspe @spencerreidtrash @socialscratch @okimdiya@bigcmfan@frickin-bats @coffeeismylife28 @riddle-me-bliss@lalakawe@devilgirlsarah@milkandcookies528 @pack-omega @cranky-blue-boy @do-i-really-know@heatherpotter @thegublerfiles @exitthevehiclenow@sassesu@crimindsaspe@amarislestrange @cherry-loves-fanfic

[scribefindegil]

False Prophets

[Ao3]

Just because Stan’s injured and the brothers are trying to sail to port doesn’t mean they can avoid anomalies altogether.

Set between Chapters 12 and 13 of Fisherman’s Knot.

Fluffstravaganza commission for @dana-willowfeather, who asked for Stan saving the day with his cunning and trickery! It turned out to be more of a Stan/Nuala teamup, but I hope you enjoy it!

It was supposed to be a simple matter of getting directions.

Of course, Ford chided himself, nothing he did could ever be simple. There must be some unwritten law of the universe, nay, multiverse, against Stanford Pines ever getting any kind of break. All he’d wanted to do was make sure they were on the fastest route to Boston, out of the path of any storms or ice shoals. It was a simple enough request.

And yes, he could have just thrown the King Cod back into the ocean instead of taking it up on its offer to help them in exchange for its life, but they’d used prophetic fish to navigate before and it had turned out fine! He should have had no problem answering its riddles! And—all right, really he should just stop making excuses and see if there was anything useful he could do before he lost consciousness and was dropped into the maw of a horrific sea monster. Maws? There might have been more than one of them. He hadn’t been able to get a good look before his vision started going spotty.

The writhing mass of coils that were wrapped around him grew tighter, and Ford felt the last gasp of air squeezed from his lungs. His chest was burning and he was sure his ribs were creaking like an old battered ship about to succumb to the storm.

He strained every muscle he could. He bit at the serpent’s leathery skin, his teeth sinking into its flesh and his mouth filling with salt and slime. The thing probably didn’t even notice. If it did, the little damage he could do was comparable to a biting insect—annoying at worst, and more likely to lead to swatting than any real harm.

Or perhaps human saliva was toxic and he’d bring down the beast eventually. Cold comfort, but it was the kind he’d taken before. He had always managed to escape before actually dying, though. Well, obviously. He wasn’t dead yet. He was . . .

Rambling. Self-defense, letting the brain focus on something other than the fact that its time was rapidly running out. Not a very useful self-defense mechanism as these things went. It might be if there was anything he could do, but he was trapped and his head was full of needles and his lungs were full of fire and—

“Hey fish-face!”

Ford could breathe.

He gulped air down into his oxygen-starved lungs until his heart rate steadied and his vision cleared, and then turned his head toward the voice. Stan stood there, gripping the rail of the boat with one white-knuckled hand. He was pale and tousle-haired and his right arm was still bound to his chest, but he stood up tall and smirked at the serpent, a fiery glint in his eyes.

“I got a proposition for you.”

*

It was hard to make coffee with one hand. It was hard to do much of anything. Stan set a bad example for Nuala when it came to silverware, shoveling food straight into his mouth so that he didn’t have to cut it. On the first day he’d needed Ford to help him get dressed, and his five o’ clock shadow was turning into a real beard now that he didn’t trust himself with a razor.

Fortunately, Ford had a tendency to leave forgotten half-drunk cups of coffee scattered around the boat. They were usually too cold for the sugar to dissolve, but they were better than nothing. Better than asking Ford for help.

He’d give it, of course. That wasn’t the problem. In fact it seemed like he’d done nothing but help since they’d returned from Atlantis—always making sure that Stan was warm enough, that he’d eaten, that the painkillers were working. He was starting to feel like a spoiled kid, or one of those stupid little dogs people carried around in handbags—the kind that couldn’t do anything on their own and only existed so that a certain type of people had something to dote on.

There was a mug on the table, barely touched and still warm, next to a pile of Ford’s notes. Ha. That was more like it. If he drank that it would just be stealing, not charity.

Stan sat down and dumped a mountain of sugar into the coffee. Now Ford wouldn’t make him give it back.

He’d taken his first sip when the hatch swung open and Nuala stalked inside.

“Hey!” Stan called. “Why the long face?”

The selkie sat down across from him and flopped headfirst into the pile of care package goodies they hadn’t figured out how to put away yet. When she sat up her mouth was full of chocolate-chip cookies.

She started to say something, remembered that she needed to swallow, and chewed her way through the rest of the cookies in a shower of crumbs.

“Stanford says I’m not allowed to eat fish with hats,” she said. “I caught one but he took it away to argue with and then he laughed at me.”

“Ford?”

“The fish.”

Hat . . . they’d run into one or two of those before, hadn’t they? Stan flipped through the notes in front of him. Selkies . . . yetis . . . merfolk . . . notes on the golden nautilus, overwritten with angry red ink . . . and . . . there!

“Like this?” he asked, holding up a page labeled “Riddle-Me Fish”.

Nuala scowled and pointed and the middle drawing. “The fancy one.”

“King Cod,” Stan read. “This creature will share its supernatural and prophetic blah blah blah . . . riddle contest? Is my brother out there having nerd talk with a fish?”

Nuala shrugged, and Stan felt a pang of jealousy at how easily she moved her shoulders. “It said he got one free question for saving its life but if he wanted anything complicated they needed to have a ‘battle of wits.’ Stanford got all giggleflappy about it. That’s when I left.”

Stan sighed fondly. Of course Ford would get excited at the chance to prove that he was smarter than a magic fish. As long as it gave him something to focus on besides hovering around Stan like a broody hen, Stan was fine with it.

They’d run into a few of the fish before—mostly caught in the nets, although Ford had reeled one in once. It was surprisingly gracious for something that had just had a hook stabbed through its lip, and had warned them of an upcoming storm that none of their instruments had predicted. It had been one of the crowned fish. The ones that wore top hats were less helpful—they’d tell you things but be awfully snooty about it, so usually Stan had to threaten to fry them a few times before they’d co-operate.

The prophetic lobsters, now—

The boat shook. Stan grabbed onto the table to steady himself, but it didn’t stop him from smacking into the wall. A stab of pain shot through his arm and his vision swam. The coffee tipped over, spilling onto Ford’s notes, and Stan would have stopped to clean them off except he’d heard something from outside right before whatever it was had hit them. Sound didn’t travel well into the cabin—he could tell that Ford had been talking earlier, but he hadn’t been able to make out any of the words. Now he wished that he had.

If he’d known what they were saying, he might also know what had made his brother scream.

Stan grabbed the notes about the Riddle-Me Fish and shoved the damp pages into his coat pocket.

“What was—” Nuala began.

“Don’t know, but I’ll bet you anything we’re about to find out!” Stan stood and stumbled for the hatch, Nuala close at his heels.

He turned back towards her. “No, you wait.” He said. “Wait and listen. We may need the element of surprise.”

Nuala nodded grimly and let him go ahead.

There was a monster in the water beside the boat—some kind of sea serpent. They hadn’t seen one in a while. Weren’t supposed to see them at all, not after they’d painted all those swirly white lines on the bottom of the boat to confuse their silhouette. Ford had been so proud of himself when he figured that out.

Ford—

Far above the boat he could see a pair of worn boots and a shock of gray hair among the serpent’s coils. The boots were kicking and the hair was tossing back and forth. Still alive. Stan breathed out.

The serpent had no eyes but it had an enormous mouth, long and cavernous and lined with serrated teeth as far back as Stan could see. Seaweed hung from its face and one long whiskerlike tendril draped down its neck, the fancy-hatted fish at the end of it.

All right. He had one working arm and no weapons and only the sketchiest idea of what he was up against. Story of his life.

Stan stepped up to the rail and shouted.

*

“This is a terrible idea!” Ford tried to yell, but even with the serpent’s hold on him loosened he didn’t have enough breath in him to speak. He hadn’t been able to answer the fish—the serpent—the creature’s riddle. Stan didn’t have a chance.

The thing closed its mouth and moved its head closer to the boat, stopping just a few inches away from Stan’s face. He kept glaring at it, but Ford watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. He wasn’t even wearing a proper coat, just rushing out headlong into danger like he always did. It would be impressive if it wasn’t so infuriating.

The sea serpent loomed above Stan and the tendril . . . appendage? Line? The . . . thing that anchored the crown of the serpent’s head to the King Cod twisted itself up so that the fish hovered high above the boat, its crown glinting in the sunlight. It was the fish that spoke. As far as he could tell, the serpent only roared.

“We must engage in a battle of wits,” said the creature. Exactly what it had said to him. As it spoke, it shifted its coils until Ford was dangling upside-down, one ankle held by the tip of the serpent’s tail.

“Stan, you shouldn’t—” he tried, just in time to hear, “All right, then. Double or nothing. I win and you let my brother go. You win and I’ll hop right into your mouth, no questions asked.”

“Don’t!” Ford yelled. “Stanley, it’s not—”

“Not a problem, exactly!” Stan looked up and grinned at him. He . . . wasn’t nervous. Or if he was he was doing an excellent job of hiding it. But Ford was getting better at noticing his brother’s tells, and Stan was grinning without that extra tension around his eyes or the too-wide Mr. Mystery smile.

“You must answer my riddle to win your boon,” said the creature.

Stan locked eyes with the King Cod and flashed his teeth. “Come on, fishy. Hit me with your best shot.”

“I wind at those whales gray-haired, living I thirst; Togetherless the waves, racing some rain useful to shore, Most skillfully, liberal with me, I suffer hurt. I am the darkness of the earth; Be silent, but I shape, scarred by iron And pass men in the honeycombing Over them an often-giver of victories, created gold. I keep my snow half-hides the whirlwind to my lord Beneath the key's power he has not eaten; I was left no creature. Ever the Lord's bidding overed me, The Image for Answer?” 

The same riddle it had asked him. Ford held his breath, dangling there from the serpent’s tail with the crash of the waves and the rush of his blood pounding in his ears. He was helpless as he watched his brother stare down the monster. His defiance was admirable, but defiance wasn’t what they needed right now. They needed weaponry, they needed intellect, they needed answers. Ford should have been able to answer the question. He was the one who protected them from this sort of danger, but he couldn’t even solve a simple riddle, and now they were both going to—

The serpent shook its tail and opened its mouth wider. It might have been light-headedness or the oddness of perspective that came from being upside-down, but it looked like Stan smiled.

“Easy,” he said. “You’re a fish stuck to a snake who can’t tell a real riddle to save your own creepy-looking skin.”

Ford was too stunned to respond. Perhaps the King Cod was, too, because Stan went on, “You’re not one of those magic fish at all. You’re just a two-bit con artist designed to catch nerds, and believe me, as a two-bit con artist myself, you aren’t even doing it right. People are supposed to think you’re harmless right up until you’ve caught ‘em in that big snakey mouth of yours. But I already knew what you are. Big mistake to stick around once you’ve lost the element of SURPRISE!”

He shouted the last word and then ducked down behind the rail, and then—

Ford had always turned his back when Nuala transformed. He could tell that it took her longer to shed her sealskin than to put it back on, but it still seemed like an ungainly process.

He would never have imagined that she could change in midair. But it was a woman who came barreling out of the cabin and leapt over the rail and a seal that opened its mouth and caught the false King Cod up in a blur of silver and a snap of teeth. Ford had approximately five seconds of unabashed wonder before the serpent convulsed, releasing his ankle and dropping him headfirst into the sea.

*

“So how many times am I going to have to fish you out of the ocean?”

Ford sipped at his coffee and shivered under yet another mound of blankets.

“I live in hope that this will be the last.”

Stan scoffed, rubbing a towel affectionately into Ford’s hair. “Not likely. This one’s a born troublemaker.”

Nuala headbutted his good shoulder. “Speak for yourself.”

“Hey!” Stan drew back in mock horror. “Who was it that saved our butts back there?”

“Me!” said Nuala. She grinned at them toothily. “And if Stanford had just let me eat that fish to begin with things would have been fine.”

“You were amazing back there,” said Ford. He looked up at his brother. “Both of you. How did you know what to do? I would have just kept arguing with it until it ate me.”

Stan clapped him on the back. “Well, that’s what you need me for! Did you really not notice that its crown was made of shiny scales instead of gold?”

“Not at all,” Ford admitted. “I was too drawn in by its—”

“Totally meaningless riddles? I gotta tell you, bro, sometimes things don’t make sense just because they don’t make sense.”

Ford sighed. “I suppose you’re right. Still, it’s fascinating! Anomalies disguised as other anomalies! I’ve never seen a sea serpent with a lure, and certainly not one capable of speech! I’ll need to completely overhaul my classification scheme!”

Stan snorted. “Nerd.”

“Trickster.”

Nuala rolled her eyes. “Humans.”

Ford extricated a dry page from the coffee-stained piles on the table and began scribbling furiously.

“You’re still shivering,” said Stan. “Let yourself warm up first, knucklehead.”

Ford stood and shuffled over to the stove, blankets swishing along the floor behind him. Hot chocolate it was.

“And make some coffee for me, willya?” said Stan. “I deserve it if I’ve gotta be the smart one today.”

Ford smiled, shook his head, and put on the pot.

The false King Cod's riddle was created using a predictive text emulator and a set of Anglo-Saxon riddles from the Exteter Book.

[itsworn]

Industry Icon Ted Dzus: Made In America

Ted Dzus and I go back more than forty years. In that time, he built some pretty hairy companions and all of them exhibited craftsmanship, thought, and even a little whimsy. And this was well before the internet tangle, so we got our news pony express-like from the monthly rags and the advertising copy that accompanied them or we heard it over the land line. There was civility then. Nobody yapped immediate when there was no forum to put it in; there was no specious social media for all that gas and very little grit.

These days everybody’s been dog-trained to spit up a sound bite, no matter how inane, thoughtless, or cruel, for a few seconds of something and there’s always somebody with a phone cam on every greasy street corner in America to record their proclivities. Common sense surely seems to abandon them, or maybe they haven’t got any in the first place. Back in the day, we just kept hammering and kept our derision close to the bar…

I lived in northern New Jersey then, so it was only a short crawl over to Long Island. One powerful fall day in the mid-seventies, I was out there to shoot Ted’s Modified Production Vega wagon that had been naturally riddled with Dzus rounds. We had lunch at Herman’s, one of his favorite haunts. We ate, we drank, we ate some more. Then we burned rubber across the street to a strip-mall gin mill managed by Geraldo Rivera’s brother, who fixed us right up with a six-pack of Kamikazes. (Yo, what’s the big deal, it’s only two o’clock.) About an hour later, we set fuzzy sights on the Vega.

Suffice that I had to put my shoulder to a steady tree so I could focus (a loose term here) the Nikon. I felt woozy, delaminated. When the proof sheets came back they were awful. (Your eyes were closed when you did this, right?)Maybe it was time for a change of scenery. Shortly thereafter, I got the new-car bug at Motor Trend and left the land of hard-core modified for the bright, shiny, and mundane. Fact is, I did a dozen or so stories with Ted over the years.

Then, it’s somehow 1998 and beyond my belief I’ve been the editor of Hot Rod for two years. I’m on Power Tour, the first one to chew down the Right coast (from Ft. Devens, Massachusetts to Tampa), waiting in a ratty motel lobby in ratty Suffern, New York, for some company to arrive. Across the floor I see a tanned head and trademark white shirt, bobbing in conversation—Dzus. When he sees me, his face lights up.

We tramped around for a decade, sometimes on Long Island, always on Power Tour. There were cocktails after five. Sometimes we yelled at the crowd. Sometimes we yelled at shoddy service. Sometimes we yelled at one another. And so it was with a couple of very blessed, very fortunate miscreants (now in their mid-seventies) who never really got beyond the age of 18. Not quiche aficionados. Not cars ‘n’ coffee wanks. Not soap opera stars. Car guys.—Ro McGonegal

William Dzus (born Volodymyr Dzhus)

As a child, Ted’s grandfather had a fascination with all things mechanical and he especially loved large machines. As he grew older, his interest expanded. One day he saw a thresher and followed it to the fields. When his father John found him watching it he was enraged that William had been frittering his time. John Dzhus was not one for any resource spent that didn’t immediately add to his or the family’s wherewithal, e.g., farming. As his ancestors, he was bound to the land in the western Ukraine and fiercely pushed his son to follow the same life; he distained William’s natural curiosity and refused to indulge him in his true interests. One telling example: William had built a miniature tabernacle out of wood for his work-worn grandmother thinking that it would brighten her up a little. When his father saw it, he ripped it from his hands and crushed it under a heavy boot. William was undeterred.

Sometime later, he dreamed of having his own transportation. Because there was no metal to do it with he built a working bicycle from trees and branches as the raw materials. Pieces of rope he found along the roadside became the “tires.” William was pleased with his pure accomplishment. His parochial somewhat sadistic father was not. He found the bicycle and smashed it to pieces. Incidents as such were a large factor in William’s desire to get out of the Ukraine, away from his suffocating father and make his bones in America, in the land of the free. In 1913, he made the crossing carrying a change of clothes in a cardboard suitcase and a small fortune of $25 in his pocket, or so the story goes. He spent years in the new country becoming acclimated and making contacts.

Eventually, William managed to establish a shop in Babylon, New York, even as the Great Depression was raging full. Rather than repairing cars, if they still had them, his clientele was more concerned with putting a potato on the table and keeping the roof over their heads rather than squandering what little money they had on personal transportation. It occurred to William that this trend was a bellwether and he closed the doors to his sanctum for good in 1929.

Subsequently, he went to work as a toolmaker in the fuselage department of the Fairchild Aircraft Company in Farmingdale, New York. At the time, the switch from wood to metal aircraft construction was an epiphany, but there were teething problems. Drawing the light metal alloy through a die produced the frame components, and though it worked fine, often the dies scratched the metal deeply enough to where the intrusions became stress risers that certainly became cracks when exposed to the constant rigor of operation. William, the consummate thinker and inventor unkinked the problem by applying a coat of lacquer to the dies, thus isolating them from the surface of the extrusions.

By 1931, his lush, verdant mind and economy of design had devised a die that formed aircraft window frames rather than doing it the old way of cutting, fitting, and welding, thus saving time and money. He is also credited with developing the first automotive grille and the first radiator fan, but lack of promotional funds and patent knowledge precluded proprietary rights.

That same year, William observed a military exercise, watching planes take off and land, looking for weaknesses. He heard a lot of rattling as the aircraft touched down and he traced it to the cowlings, those removable metal sections that housed the engine. None of them were securely attached to the structure of the plane. The repertoire included fasteners in the shape of a diaper pin, a mushroom-shaped latch fastener, and a trunk latch type. William envisioned a fastener that would prevent the metal from vibrating and eventually hardening from this activity; the hardened metal became brittle and ultimately the piece would fail.

His panacea had three basic qualities; strength, safety, and simplicity. It was easy to lock and unlock in either direction and required adjustment of a scant ninety-degrees. The fastener was self-locking by virtue of a recess in the cam that allowed the drawn spring wire to fall in place behind it (see illustration). Dzus produced 26 sets of fasteners for an experimental aircraft. The set-up worked so well that Fairchild leaned heavily on William to give up the patent or get the hell out. William would not bend. He extended a figurative middle finger and told the company to rotate. He would open a machine shop after his own regard. It wasn’t long before Fairchild invited him back, sorely missing his genius. He was quick to realize that the company was flopping and was able to purchase his vital machine-shop equipment at auction. On April 26, 1932, the Dzus Fastener Company drew tentative breath in a garage on Hawley Avenue in West Islip, New York.

Original line drawing of Dzus quarter-turn done for patent purposes that ran in a sixties issue of Popular Hot Rodding.

Way before a single race car adapted the Dzus quarter-turn fastener, these buttons would become the panacea for military aircraft. That occurred only after the cam-and-spring arrangement had been deemed successful in the field of commercial aviation and that was what finally attracted the interest of the U.S. Army Air Force. The military had long been conscious of the need for a better fastener as repeated reports from pilots, crew members, and maintenance personnel indicated that many aircraft failures were attributable to a cowling that was improperly secured. Such failures were directly attributed to the intense vibrations of the machine guns, frequently causing the cowlings to break away from the superstructure. Sometimes, the defeat was in the fastener itself and sometimes it was attributed to the metal surrounding it.

William proposed to the military that the cowlings were fastened too rigidly to the fuselage and didn’t provide enough cushioning. He demonstrated how this fatigued the metal of the cowling under the fastener, weakening it to the point of breakage. Then he concluded by demonstrating the cushioning effects of his Dzus fastener. As a result, the fasteners were tested in commercial aircraft, and soon afterward, the Dzus prodigy was approved for all Air Force craft.

What’s the advantage of those magic buttons? Here are a few.

Note: Long before race cars entered the big picture and before the aircraft industry travails, one of the earliest application of Dzus fasteners on a race car was by Ed, Sr. and Zeke Justice (eventually Justice Brothers) while working at Kurtis-Kraft in Glendale, California. Ed was an A&E at Douglas Aircraft prior to WW II and had graduated from Fry Aircraft School in Kansas. The car the fasteners accommodated was the “Bullet” Kurtis-Kraft midget owned by Joe Garrison and this “upgrade” had occurred while boss Frank Kurtis was out of town. At first Kurtis wasn’t too thrilled with their alterations, but he later realized the benefits of the quarter-turn buttons.

At age 69, patriarch William passed away from complications of a stroke. He was succeeded by his son Theodore.

Ted Dzus

Before the all-American Ukrainian got into drag racing, he liked American and British two-seaters and had a Corvair-powered dune buggy. He drove upstate to Watkins Glen for the single-seat Formula 1 races. One day that all changed like Dr. Jekyll skizzing into Mr. Hyde. A friend who had a 409 took him for the thrill ride of his life. He was floored. The next day he says he ordered a 1966 GTO and checked the boxes for triple carbs, close-ratio 4-speed, Posi-traction… and also the one for undercoating delete.

“I pulled the engine out and took it across the river to Dick Simonek in Gasoline Alley in Paterson, New Jersey,” said Dzus. “He built me a legal NHRA C/Stock motor. I went to West Hampton a few times, but for me it really was more fun to drive it on the street.” More complicated projects would follow.

It was almost time for young Ted to carry the flag. He realized that he’d have to create a niche for the racing fasteners and a place of his own within the family history.

“After I graduated high school in 1961, I didn’t want to go to college full time. I wanted to work at the plant, but I took Business Management classes at night. I started at Dzus in the fall of ‘61. My grandfather made me punch the clock. He said I would learn something from that. I started right at the bottom and learned all phases of manufacturing by being hands-on. I loved this part of it anyway. I did hand-screw, automatic screw, cold-heading, packing, shipping, engineering, drafting, in-house sales, and applications; I manned the phone and did on-the road sales. What was the correct fastener for the application?” In 1964, he segued to England for about six months and learned how things were done in the Dzus plant there.

Eventually, Ted became an assistant to his father Ted. Then the pace ramped up. He was elevated and sat on the Board of Directors. He married Carol in 1980. Two years later he became president of the company. He and Carol travelled. They went to the facilities in England and Paris and by 1989 there were Dzus facilities in Britain, Scotland, France, Germany, and Japan. In 1989, the Managing Director of the English company formed a group that bought all the other companies.

It soon became apparent that the new owners paid little attention to the aftermarket, speed equipment, race car builders, etc. So, the aftermarket started to make their own fasteners (patents were exclusive for 17 years). Southco in Concordville, Pennsylvania, now owns the Dzus name and along with latches and fasteners of its own design, sells the quarter-turn product to industry.

“I always had a problem with the shrink card companies to advertise all Dzus stuff,” Ted scowled. “They said that they didn’t make enough money to produce exclusive Dzus full-page ads. Although I continually asked them to put Dzus along with other products on their page ads, they never did. They only had Dzus in their catalogs. So the others, the valve cover fastener, clutch stop, quick disconnect for radiator hose, header collector quarter-turns, air cleaner fastener, quarter-turn oil drain plug, which I had patents on, were never promoted.

“After WWII, the guys started using Dzus on their hot rods with the thinking that if they will hold fighter planes and bombers together, they sure will hold our hot rod together and they got busy changing from straps and bolts to Dzus quarter-turn fasteners. Racers got them from surplus stores. I think the first company to supply speed shops was Mr. Gasket. Joe Hrudka and I had some fun out there in Cleveland. Then other speed equipment companies followed.” But Dick Moroso had Dzus on shrink cards before Joe did. When I told Dick there were a few guys that sold the fasteners—body-builders, race car guys, small stuff out of a box, really. He said, it’s good for competition. But boy did he get pissed when Joe shrink-carded the Dzus. I said to him, what happened to ‘competition?’ He cooled down.”

Ted Dzus was a war baby born of a culture that celebrated hard work, dedication, and a strong constitution; he had his father and grandfather to remind him of that. For him it was all about the process and the excitement it generated, and the money not so much.

Dzus Use

“The Stock and Super Stock guys would unscrew the radiator hose clamps and run cold water to cool the motor down between rounds. To address this messy time-consuming job, we designed the radiator hose quick-disconnect device. It worked by releasing the pressure at the radiator cap, twisting the fastener a quarter of turn and then pulling the hose free.”

The valve cover fastener: “Garlits and I are good friends. I asked him if he would try-test them on his dragster. This was 1970-ish. He was still using steel valve covers. I went to the Indy race with fasteners to just give to him some to try later. No, he put them on there and then. Of course he had to ask if they would hold. I said yes. Don said let’s do it.”

The clutch stop was attached to the pedal arm and was adjusted so there was just enough “clutch” to power shift…and keep the foot from going too far. From there, we developed quick-release modes for the oil drain, distributor hold-down, battery cable, carburetor(s), air filter hold-down, and header dumps.” On the civilian side, Dzus fasteners were being used to hold together compound fractures in human long bones.

“In the early shot, around 1968, Big and I both looked good. I’d made a placard for Don saying thanks for testing our stuff, well appreciated, etc. We were great friends. At the Indy Nationals, I brought him a box of the ¼-turn fasteners that I’d patented for rocker covers. I told him to take them home and try them out. He asked if they would hold. I said ‘yaaaah!’ He put ‘em on right there. The ’98 Power Tour stopped by his place and I wanted a sequel image to go with the original.”—Ted Dzus

45 Years Of Animals

Ted’s cars naturally became test beds for various products and not coincidentally were tax-deductable expenses. Exposure to the racing arena exhibited the diversity of application.

1973 Vega

More than forty years ago, Ted dragged the tiny station wagon into the Dzus plant so he could fix it with rails of his own design. Not that the chassis was something special because it wasn’t. He could have farmed this chore out, but he didn’t and that’s what made it special. He built the chassis and the rollcage from 1 5/8-inch mild steel. Don Hardy supplied the engine swap stuff and the V8 coil springs. Ted pushed the engine as far back as he could without the need of a new firewall.

Speed Research and Development in Malvern, Pennsylvania, sussed out the rear suspension design that included a Don Hardy 12-bolt housing supported by 22-inch upper and 25-inch lower links in conjunction with a Watts link. Hardy’s narrowed axle was damped by Armstrong coilover shocks. This car had two distinct incarnations: the first was representative of a street/strip driver. Later, the shenanigans segued to race-only reptilian.

The LT-1 engine was a hot item in 1970. Richie Zul was booming at S&K Speed when he did the machine work and balanced the assembly, but the engine builder was local Richie Solano. He retained the forged crank and connecting rods and included Manley pistons that contributed a 12.0:1 compression ratio when combined with matched and polished ports of the zippy LT-1 heads. Solano dressed it out with a Racer Brown 66R roller and kit along with Mr. Gasket rocker arms. The Edelbrock tunnel-ram raised 660cfm Holleys. Dzus communed with Jere Stahl, who in a fit of controlled madness squeezed in exhaust with 1 7/8-inch primary pipes. Yeah, and those sixties-style Cyclone side pipes were so stupid loud that the cops over in Queens could hear them.

As a street rat, Ted banged on a T-10 that Zul had built and then followed with a hopeful Hone overdrive unit that offered 30 percent gear reduction and yielded 13 mpg on the open road. But all that needed to change. Dzus reminded me of something that happened when we took the Vega out one day. “I floored it and power-shifted Second gear and it drifted 50-60 feet down the street. We both thought it was cool. You said ‘Eff.’ I was saying ‘straighten out mo-fo.’ Any way, it did that most of the time.” So in the interest of consistent 10.60 times, Dzus installed a Fairbanks Turbo 400 and never looked sideways again.

Dzus: “I drove the Plain Brown Wrapper mostly on the street. Joe Conway painted it Cinnamon Mist and overlaid that with gold pearl. Then I lightened it up and bracket-raced the tri-state area. One of my sponsors, Harwood Fiberglass Front Ends, gave me a slicker ‘74 nose and Moroso followed up with a revised hood/scoop arrangement. Joe painted it again, School Bus Yellow, and the Plain Brown Wrapper became Quarter Turn Fastener Man. Then I sold it to my friend Fred Kobasiuk—who still has it.”

1980 Chevette

“I wanted to build a real race car,” said Ted, “and travel the East Coast. I had a good friend in town who owned Top Speed speed shop. I asked him if he knew anyone who had the time to travel. ‘I have your guy,’ he said. ‘He’s a motor head, sleeps and breathes cars. Well, step in Fred ‘The Kabas’ Kobasiuk. If something broke, I’d say screw it, let’s party. No-no. Fred wanted to dive under the car and fix it right then. We raced from Canada to Florida. We’ve been together through the Chevette, the ’55, the ’51 Merc, and the Henry J.”

If this cartoonish crate comes off a little weird, that’s because it is—a toady, truncated body bracketed by gigantic tires. Throughout, the objectives were easy accessibility and ease of maintenance. To reduce mass, builder Richie Sullivan (Richie Sullivan Race Cars, Huntington Station, New York) envisioned the foundation as a short and narrow 2x3x1/8-inch chromemoly chassis. Richie built a tube axle, custom kingpins, and used coilover shocks for the front (complete with a Pinto steering rack) and leveled a Strange Engineering Dana 60 (5.12:1 gearing) in the back. He ran it with ladder bars welded directly to the axle housing.

To that end, Sullivan prevailed not on a complete body but on a puzzle of panels instead (roof, doors, hood, hood scoop, deck lid, and interior and engine tinwork), all of them cinched by 171 quick-release buttons. The windows were Lexan. Lightweight brackets accommodated the Don Hardy radiator core and connected the fiberglass nose to the frame. Stripping all the pieces down to the naked chassis took about 15 minutes.

Its braking system was unorthodox. The Strange Engineering discs were controlled by dual master cylinders. One attached to a pedal on the floor and was for the front brakes; the other controlled the rear brakes. Ted locked the front brakes for the burnout and to stage the car. On the top end, the rear binders, along with the influence of a drag chute, alleviated the stress on the front ones and helped the car keep composure when slowing abruptly from high speed.

When Sullivan had finished with the body prep, the car went to Burd Turd Auto Body (Deer Park) and Chris sprayed the Chrome Yellow. Bayview Chevrolet (Bay Shore) supplied many of the engine performance parts and all the metal exterior components.

Gasser guru Jack Merkel did the trick oiling modifications and built the 0.006-inch clean-up bore 350 motor on a forged arm, Superod aluminum connecting rods, and Manley 13.5:1 pistons with VHT baked into the gas-ported domes. Jack liked a Comp roller (0.368/0.368-inch lift at 0.050; 312/312-deg. duration) and put it in with Racer Brown’s lifters and roller rockers, Comp valve springs, and Ridgeway girdles. Racing Head Service prepped the Turbo cylinder head castings to the limit of Super Modified rules. The fuel system featured a Holley 850cfm carburetor and an Edelbrock Victor manifold. Somehow, Hooker built the snaky long-tube headers for it.

The viable powertrain included a Fairbanks Powerglide driven by an 8-inch converter and monitored by a Hurst Auto/Stick. Friction or lack of it depended on 15×4 and 15×12 Centerline wheels with 26×4.5 Goodyear fronts and D8 compound 31.5×15 slicks. In Super Gas, the littlest Chevy ran a best of 9.69 seconds at 139 mile per hour. The car met a violent, ignominious end.

Ted: “I was sponsored by ATI. There was a Points meet that weekend at Maryland International Raceway and ATI’s Jim Beattie had secured the track for test and tune on Thursday for his sponsored cars, so I had to be there. I wanted to go anyway. We were running S/G. But before we hit those timers, we’d added weight to slow the car down. It went 9.60s all day long, anywhere.

“Jim wanted to freshen the ‘Glide,” he said. “I went down to his place, picked it up, and put back in Chevette and put oil in it. I made a pass. At the traps, smoke started coming through the transmission tunnel. I pulled the chute and at the same time the car made a hard left turn into the dirt. As it rolled, I let go of the wheel and closed my eyes–that pissed me off because I didn’t see anything but I wasn’t knocked out. There were no photos, no photographic evidence of what had happened because shooters wouldn’t be there until the following day. I’d made a big mistake in haste. No one had checked the drain plug, which was in hand-tight, not wrench tight. It vibrated loose, fell out just before traps and oiled down the right slick.”

1955 Chevy 210

“During a test session at MIR, Ted rolled the Chevette in the lights. When I saw my friend disappear at the top end that was a scary time. But Richie Sullivan had built a superior car. Ted was unscratched after that final 9.90 pass and said that he was alright and just needed a cocktail and he would be better again! We undid the Dzus fasteners and took off the body and interior panels and left them in the dirt, all except for a door and the deck lid which we saved as mementos. We brought the chassis and drivetrain home. The chassis got some minor repair and was sold.

“The Chevette engine was disassembled, basically because it needed a rebuild. Of course, Ted wanted to get back into the game. He had the engine and transmission and I had this ‘55 sitting in a chicken coup. I asked Ted if he was interested since I did race it when I was a kid and had owned it since I was 15. We rebuilt that car from the ground up.

“We did a lot of brainstorming. We did a back-half with ladder bars and coilovers. Removed the old stock front end and replaced it with a Pinto rack steering setup. We lightened it wherever we could. Used a fiberglass front end, doors, trunk lid, and bumpers. I fabricated the headlights out of fiberglass, from mold to finished product. All the glass was replaced with Lexan and we used aluminum wherever possible—interior and brackets and we fabricated hinges for the doors. We made the new grille out of aluminum square and round stock to the dimensions of the factory one. “The car sat very low. To access anything in the back and to remove the slicks meant dropping the rear suspension. We came up with a better plan. We cut large circular wheel openings and we reproduced the cut-out with aluminum and used Dzus fasteners to attach them to the body.

“For consistency, Ted wanted the 2-speed to shift automatically. We started out with an Auto Meter tach equipped with a shift light. I had a friend who was an electronic tech who built a board with relays to pick up the shift-light signal at the pre-selected rpm and send that signal to a solenoid. After some research, we decided to use air as the medium. Parts were readily available. We put an air cylinder and a solenoid in trunk. It worked like a dream.

“We wanted to run that car in Super Gas, but couldn’t get it to go that 9.90; it ran a best of 10.07. Not bad for a shoebox with a 355 small-block, Predator carb (how many remember them?), a Powerglide, and an early Oldsmobile rear. We decided to run in 10.90 Super Street. Ted came up with this idea for a throttle stop: We had the air and the electronics and just needed to add another circuit with a time delay. It worked great, but Ted was uncomfortable with the gas pedal pulling his foot up so he developed a spring setup that when the stop was applied he would not feel it in the linkage. Again, it worked great. We looked at the water pump and electric drive as another place to reduce weight. Ted called Jabsco. We ended up with a marine bait-well pump. We fabricated an aluminum manifold for the block, installed the pump, and we were off to the races.”—Fred Kobasiuk

“I always said ‘Fred’ but no one knew him. This is what I sent to sponsors…and possibly Facebook. Here’s Fred ’The Kabas’ Kobasiuk with the J.”—Ted Dzus

1951 Mercury

By this time, the race-car tramping was well over, but Ted couldn’t sit still. He’d been captured by another idea: long-haul cruising on the Hot Rod Power Tour. On his first one, he drove his triple-black late-model Trans-Am. But after he’d gotten his beak wet, he had a talk or two with Hot Rod’s Gray Baskerville, who steered him to the fiberglass-bodied Mercury, a car that was a hot rod icon and irrefutable in Old Dad’s mind. This one would be a bona-fide street car outfitted like Ted’s Lincoln Town Car and encompassing, among other civilities, air spring suspension, air conditioning, electric window lifts, LED lighting, and an electronically coded entry system.

Then the trouble started. He’d sourced a fiberglass body from a fly-by-nighter in Virginia. The shell he got came off the mold with a three-inch chop and was ready to be channeled but was otherwise rudely unfinished. Joe Rupert at Higbie Collision (West Islip) devoted insane hours to straightening and mending the material and installing the high-mount brake light, directional signals, marker lights, and LED insertions. Rupert says he applied the PPG Ford School Bus Yellow straight from the can.

Torsional rigidity would be the key to a tight, rattle-free coffin. Scott Weney of S&W Race Cars in Spring City, Pennsylvania, created stiffness with a 2×3 chassis on a cushy 118-inch wheelbase. S&W fabricated a 9-inch type axle housing that carries a Strange Engineering third member, Detroit Locker differential, Strange 35-spline axles, and 4.10:1 gears. Weney positioned the assembly with ladder bars, a diagonal link, and Air Ride springs. At the front, he was bound to Air Ride upper and lower control arms to accommodate the air springs.

Dzus was used to having a cannon on the other end of the throttle. He didn’t back down just because the Merc was headed for the highway. He called on contemporary Scott Shafiroff to build the bomb the in Bohemia. It has a 540-inch displacement, an 8.5:1 compression ratio, a whopping fat Vortech V-7 (Race M) supercharger and a liquid-to-air aftercooler system. Mike Ingrossio at MI Performance in West Babylon tackled a pile of 2 1/8-inch Hedman tubing and tucked it all above the bottom of the frame. As a complement, Mike adapted space-saving oval-shaped Spin Tech 3-inch exhaust pipes and mufflers.

The Rat exhales an easy 800 horsepower and to soak up the grief, Ted stuck an ATI Turbo 400 behind it and stacked the sandwich with a Gear Vendors overdrive that effectively turns the three-speed into a six-speed transmission. The Merc motor literally whistles down the freeway laid back and relaxed with an overall final drive of 3.20:1; at 70mph it’s turning 2,200rpm. On the visceral side, the 540 can light up those elephantine 31.0×18.50 Hoosiers at will, though Ted rarely succumbs to ego. Since the Long Island where he is isn’t exactly the land of wide-open spaces, mostly he putts around town getting lots of thumbs up and doesn’t seek any high-school challenges.

One day, though, I witnessed the full-bore Merc. Out East somewhere beyond Patchogue he did something unusual. He stood on the gas! I was about an eighth-mile down the road. Ted locked the front wheels and matted the throttle and the Merc was instantly ringed in a roiling cloud of carbon black that must have been hiding in there since the last Power Tour. Then the tires went up in a white mass. I smiled and uttered something profane as he ripped past me wide open. My ears rang in the silence.

In the practical sense, the car is very accommodating over tens of thousands of miles, but it’s got a sharp edge to it. Though road noise is minimal the exhaust intrudes and so you have to talk above it. Ted has a larger frame than I and the position of the low Wise Guy bucket seats reflects that. While they fit him perfectly, my legs stick straight out and don’t reach the firewall. I’m amazed that such a conglomeration fits so tightly together. The doors latch easily the first time. When the side glass is down, it tends to rattle when you pull the door shut, but thereafter stays eerily silent on the road. More than 15 years since it was finished, the Merc has proven itself time and again, devouring tens of thousands of miles in the process.

When Ted had spoken with Gray Baskerville all those years ago about what he could to do next, Ol’ Dad had also suggested a Henry J.

1951 Henry J

Ted was in a bidding war for this pristine, unmolested roller and he was kind of emotional about it simply because his uncle had one back in the fifties. Daily he would give me updates on his eBay betting progress. He worried that he wouldn’t get the count right and lose out. In the end, his bid was better than the rest and very soon the west Texas J was headed for West Islip.

While he wasn’t fretting, he was planning. When he wanted to know what I thought the engine and drivetrain should be I said that he wouldn’t like my answer. He didn’t. To champion the lightweight vibe, I said I’d go with an all-alloy LS and a six-speed manual. His eyelids fluttered. His eyeballs glazed. He saw no blood in the wimpy Chevy wedge. He wanted old-school terror screaming from hemispherical combustion chambers.

He called old friend Bill Mitchell and they talked about a late-model aluminum 528 that engine veteran Paul Kaufman would massage with a recipe of his own. Paul set the aluminum cylinder block with a K1 Technologies crankshaft and matching connecting rods pushing Wiseco pistons. He stuck the elephant with a hydraulic roller and capped the bores with Mopar Marsh Performance cylinder heads (PN P5153875) fitted with 2.25/1.94 valves, 170cc combustion chambers, valve seats and guide inserts. A hydraulic camshaft went home with corresponding valves springs, retainers, and keepers. But by far, it was the induction system that caused the most consternation.

The issue with the Hemi and twists and turns of manifolding was a minimum of properly vented space to package them in. Ted and Fred had to re-orient the Vortech V4 compressor, and that meant pushing it halfway through a hole in the inner fender. Hogan’s Racing Manifolds fabbed the primary system that features twin throttle bodies, FAST fuel injection, and intake tube plumbing created by Vibrant Performance. A FAST Dual-Synch distributor and an MSD Blaster coil and Moroso primary wires manage the flame front. Once again, Mike Ingrossio turned a pile of Kook’s tubing into 2¼-inch primary pipes followed by a 3½-inch system. Alpha at Induction Performance and Mike at M&S Performance did the initial, get-it-running tune-up with a keyboard.

Torque transfer is handled by a TCI 4L80-E with a manual valve body and a 2,400-rpm stall speed converter. The terminus is an S&W three-link supporting a 9-inch axle. Ted remembers that (the late) Scott Weney began with an engine on the floor and that he literally built the car around it. Weney fabricated upper and lower control arms for the Air Ride suspension and propped the Unisteer electric power steering directed by an Ididit column and a Flaming River rack. There are lots of brakes here, too. A master cylinder hidden beneath the dashboard activates the collection of Baer 14-inch rotors stymied by 6-piston calipers. The Weld S71 three-piece wheels are wrapped with M/T S/S skins and are down for the stance: 17×8 with 245/45 and 18×12 with 345/35.

Ted has affection for wood trim and leather upholstery and the interior in the Henry has lots of both. To set the stage, the dashboard was moved rearward to accommodate the position of the seats and Ted’s long legs. A swatch of Auto Meter dials dominate. The real goof is that Dzus didn’t trash the bus-size steering wheel with the big “K” (stands for Kaiser-Fraser who built the Henry J from 1951-54) in the center of the horn ring. Phoenix Upholstery in Franklin Square covered the seats and door panels as well as the custom-crafted center console.

Dzus is hooked on that PPG School Bus Yellow. Maybe Joe Rupert at Higbie Collision isn’t but he put it on after a minimal body prep. To make it pop a little, he powdered the paint with a pinch of red pearl. He excised the bumper and rolled the rear pan. He removed the front cattle prod and made a low valance panel/air dam in its stead and had the grille/nose re-plated. On the hood, the Henry J script is original.

He established credibility in a world he did not make and ran the business accordingly. He turned 75 in March. He’ll never quit. The Henry still has some problems with its teeth. The intake system has been redone and the final tune-up is still elusive. By the time you read this it will be a lap-top tweaked, chassis-dyno graduate.

During Indy 500 qualifying, a side pod on one of the cars flew off. I didn’t see it but got plenty of phone calls telling me that Chris Economaki said that Dzus fasteners had failed. The incident aired more than once that day as they were filling time due to rain. Spoke to those race car guys to see what happened and they said that it wasn’t the fault of the fastener. I found CBS or NBC, can’t remember now, and asked them to retract what Economaki had said. I dropped a catalog for them and I left. But I’d forgotten something and went right back in…and there’s my catalog in the waste basket! Now I’m pissed. ‘Have Jackie Stewart retract it or I’m suing!’ I later saw him in the pits. We talked. A paper wanted a picture and Jackie quarter-turned my chest.”—Ted Dzus

Car Craft Hi-Risers was a spiff for those up-and-comers we thought most deserved the exposure. The unwritten rule (known only to us) was that if someone had the cheek to ask to be named a Hi-Riser they would never be one. We got a lot of crap for that, especially from the ad strokes. We laughed at them.

Match-head trio at the end of the East Coast Power Tour in the hotel bar in Tampa.

“Don’t know the date but I went to Cleveland to see Joe Hrudka at Mr. Gasket. We partied in his Rolls and that’s when he decided to take the Dzus Fasteners and put them on a shrink-card. When I came home, I put together the “Cheek to Cheek” flier as a mailer-hand out. Dick Moroso actually had the shrink-cards, before Joe. When I told Dick there were a few guys that sold the fasteners, were body builders, race car guys that sold parts from a box. He said ‘It’s good for competition.’ But boy did he get pissed when Joe put the Dzus on shrink-cards. I asked him what happened to ‘competition.’ He cooled down.”

On the civilian side, Dzus fasteners proved invaluable to healing compound fractures like this imperfect shin bone.

The post Industry Icon Ted Dzus: Made In America appeared first on Hot Rod Network.

from Hot Rod Network http://www.hotrod.com/articles/industry-icon-ted-dzus-made-america/ via IFTTT

[psycloneofsouls-blog]

Diet Secrets: 13 Things Experts Won't Tell You About Weight Loss, From 'Good Morning America' and Reader's Digest

(They recommend six for women and nine for men.) While cutting back on sugar consumption all around is a smart, healthy move, you should also consider swapping some of your sugar for honey. Honey has also shown great promise in animal studies for reducing weight gain and adiposity (fatness) when substituted for sugar. Research shows that those who have deficiencies in calcium hold a greater fat mass and experience less control of their appetite. Skimping on sleep can negate your calorie cutting. The best way to burn fat is with interval training. Nod your head if you do the same workout over and over. That means you'll feel hungrier and are more likely to indulge in poorer eating behaviors. But TV isn't the weight loss devil that many experts make it out to be, particularly if you use it to make you smile and laugh. Here's why: Stress takes an enormous toll on your health (research shows it can increase belly fat and slow down weight loss), and laughing is the perfect stress-relieving, fat releasing antidote. What's more, it's a pretty potent calorie burner in its' own right. Besides giving you a great psychological boost right out of the gate, losing weight quickly may also help you keep it off longer. "Good Morning America" is teaming up with Reader's Digest on a special series, "13 Things Experts Won't Tell You." This month, Reader's Digest unveils the secrets to weight loss, as outlined in the new book, "The Digest Diet," a new, healthy-living plan that lists foods, exercises, and lifestyle tips that help http://www.dictionary.com/browse/salud you release fat fast. 1. It's a nutritious fat releasing alternative that also boasts antibacterial, antiviral, and antifungal properties. And the more I ate, the more I needed to exercise to maintain a healthy weight. Since the work requires glucose for maximum brainpower -- well, we naturally reach for more fuel. To outsmart this fat increaser, it's important to fuel up on hunger-fighting foods high in filling fiber, protein and calcium. You just hit that treadmill, elliptical, or jogging path and you put in your time. Your secret weight loss weapon may be a good HEPA air filter. Exercise alone leads to a very modest decrease in total body weight: less than 3 percent! I learned this lesson the hard way. Ditch the long cardio sessions. Now numerous animal studies are highlighting its great promise as a fat releaser. In one large study of more than 19,000 middle-aged women of normal weight, those who were light to moderate drinkers had less weight gain and less risk of becoming overweight than those who drank no alcohol. So the next time you feel that hunger pang, reach for a fat-free Greek yogurt or baby carrots with a tablespoon of peanut butter instead of a bag of chips. 10. Unfortunately, this exercise strategy can actually backfire when it comes to weight loss and fat burning. Aerobic exercise demands that you increase your energy output. Cocoa contains more antioxidants than most foods and is good for so many things, including -- when consumed in moderation -- weight loss. In a June 2011 study from the Journal of Nutrition, researchers looked at the effect that antioxidants found in cocoa had on obese diabetic mice. A daily dose of chocolate can trim your waistline. If you're like us, you welcome any new excuse to add more chocolate into your life. From 1998 to 2006, I was the executive editor of Fitness magazine. One study found that dieters who got 8 1/2 hours of sleep nightly lost 56 percent more body fat than they did Ir a when eating the same diet but got just 51/2 hours of sleep a night. Other sources of good fat are the polyunsaturated fatty acids (PUFAs); found in fish and its oil, and in many nuts and seeds, PUFAs help release fat, too. Unfortunately some myths persist that dairy sabotages weight loss, but science proves this couldn't be further from the truth. For years, I believed that I could eat anything I wanted because I was exercising so much. And as we know, diabetes and obesity are close cousins (80 to 85 percent of those diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes are obese). Click here for more information about weight loss from "The Digest Diet." Read more "13 Things ..." from Reader's Digest . Studying the fitness research and trying the trends were all part of my job. (Since a diabetic's lifespan is, on average, seven years shorter, they were looking for any antiaging promise that increasing dietary intake of this flavonoid might give.) Their findings: The mice lived longer. Good news: Many studies clearly show that a small glass of red wine a day is good for your health. But the more I exercised, the hungrier I was. Here's what happened: I saw a steady increase in my body weight of a pound a year. 6. A Dutch study found that consumption of PUFAs lead to a higher resting metabolic rate (the calories used just to live), as well as a greater DIT, or diet-induced calorie burn. You have to eat fat to beat fat. While too much of the wrong fat (certain saturated fats in highly processed meats and trans fat found in some cookies and crackers) is bad for your health and waistline, a diet rich in the right fat -- good unsaturated fats -- can help both. Good fats, like monounsaturated fatty acids (MUFAs) in olive oil, nuts, and avocados have proven to be powerful reducers of belly fat. What's more, studies have found that dairy sources of calcium -- like yogurt, low- or nonfat cheese, and milk -- are markedly more effective in accelerating fat loss than other sources. In one study out of the University of Tennessee, researchers showed that eating three servings of dairy daily significantly reduced body fat in obese subjects. Losing weight early and fast is best. Because our body is always trying to stay in balance, this type of movement may actually act as a biological cue to make you eat more, which can sabotage weight-loss efforts. Besides that, research shows that continuous aerobic exercise isn't nearly as effective a weight-control strategy as surprising your body with aerobic interval training (short bursts of heart-pounding work, also known as HIIT, or high intensity interval training) or strength training (push-ups, squats, anything that builds muscle and power). 8. A glass of wine a day is an effective fat releaser! So many people have asked me if it's okay to have a drink when trying to lose weight. To those of us who are used to hearing that slow and steady wins the race, this news is a little shocking and counterintuitive. In a 2010 University of Florida study, when researchers analyzed data on 262 middle-aged women who were struggling with obesity, they demonstrated that shedding weight fast lead to larger overall weight loss and longer-term success in keeping it off. 5. If they restricted calories a bit while continuing with the same dairy servings, it accelerated fat and weight loss. 4. So a small nibble of something yummy, like a handful of nuts or some peanut butter on whole wheat crackers, can help you feel full for hours. 2. PUFAs are also burned faster than saturated fats in the body. What's more, fats help you feel full--they have 9 calories per gram compared to 4 for protein or carbs. When British researchers looked into the number of calories burned by intense laughing and compared it to the calorie burn of other daily activities (strength training, running, even vacuuming), they found that an hour of intense laughter can burn as many calories--up to 120--as a half hour hitting it hard at the gym! 9. Also, you may look for more energy in the form of unhealthy snacks! 13. Dairy promotes weight loss. Exercise alone is not an effective weight loss tool -- you have to pair it with the right diet. Thinking you can eat whatever you want as long as you work it off later is actually a pretty dangerous mind-set, particularly if you look at the current research. More and more research reveals that the toxins, chemicals, and compounds riddling our food supply and self-care products are contributing to the nation's collective fat creep. And air pollution is a particularly bad fat increaser: A 2011 study from the College of Public Health at Ohio State University found just that: Exposure to fine particulate matter (air pollution) induced insulin resistance, reduced glucose tolerance, and increased inflammation, leading researchers to mark long-term exposure to air pollution as a risk factor for diabetes. And in another separate animal study done in 2006, the researchers found that resveratrol, a powerful antioxidant found in red wine, improved exercise endurance as well as protected against diet-induced obesity and insulin resistance, a precursor to diabetes. 11. How long you sleep directly affects your body mass. The difference between being overweight and a healthy weight may boil down to one move: fidgeting. Research shows that people who are naturally lean--you know the sort: They seem to eat all day, whatever they want, and never gain a pound or an inch--automatically, even subconsciously, find ways to move to make up for any extra calories they may be ingesting. Believe it or not, spontaneous physical activity (SPA) like fidgeting, bending, brushing your hair, doing dishes, etc. It may improve blood sugar control, is a great cough suppressant, and it boosts immunity. 12. The cocoa reduced degeneration of their aortic arteries, and it blunted fat deposition. To add more cocoa into your diet, buy unsweetened cocoa and add it to shakes, coffee, and other recipes. 3. Other Columbia University research revealed that people may eat 300 extra calories a day when they get a few hours less sleep than usual. Sleep deprivation interferes with the hormones leptin and ghrelin that regulate appetite. can burn 350 or more calories a day, according to Mayo Clinic research. 7. All sugar isn't evil when it comes to weight loss. It's no secret that America has a sugar problem: According to the American Heart Association, we eat 22 teaspoons a day on average. The real reason you're craving junk foodh You're thinking too hard! If you're like many office workers, your desk job gives you a double fat increasing whammy: Not only are you sitting, inactive, at a desk for most of the day, but this type of mental, knowledge-based work actually makes it more difficult to control appetite and may make us eat more calories and fat. Research suggests that because brain neurons rely almost exclusively on glucose as fuel, intense mental work leads to unstable glucose levels. TV time is OK -- but make it a sitcom. We're not recommending you ditch your exercise routine and sit on your couch popping handfuls of chips. To release fat, here's the trick: Go heavy on the cocoa and light on sugar

[bristolwomensvoice-blog]

We are many

*Trigger/content warning: Rape and Sexual Violence

  Very recently I made the decision to actively speak openly and honestly about experiences in my life that I have previously only discussed with a few people.

I am a survivor of rape and of sexual violence.

Whilst my experiences are unique they are also not. They are surprisingly common.

I hope to explain below why I am choosing now to share these experiences.

Firstly, I hope that in doing this other people may feel more able to speak out about their own experiences.

I want to be part of breaking the silence and shame around surviving rape and sexual violence but society currently condemns people who do, so I know that this will have an impact on me and how people perceive me which is why I have not done this before.

We live in a culture that silences and blames survivors and many who want to speak out (myself included) feel unable to because of the responses that we receive.

My hope is that the more we do speak out about these issues the more people begin to understand their complexities and instead of judgement there is compassion.

I also want to make an important note here that I am not suggesting in any way that survivors should speak out – For some people it is really helpful and for others it is detrimental to their recovery. It is different for everyone. I just want to live in a society where people who do want and need to speak out feel that they can without fear of being attacked, ridiculed, blamed or shut down. Those who do speak openly about their experiences are no less strong than those who don’t. Both speaking out and keeping it in are equally as hard.

What is most difficult for me about speaking about this subject is that people really don’t want to hear most of the time because it is uncomfortable. Yes, it will be uncomfortable but it should be uncomfortable, it is an uncomfortable issue. For someone who has experienced it is very uncomfortable for me when my own experience has to be minimised or hidden to protect others. One of the main problems we have is that so many people don’t like to talk in depth about these issues so don’t know enough about them.

We live in a country where we don’t really talk about sex honestly and openly let alone rape, we mostly don’t talk about how we are really feeling let alone mental health issues and a lot of the time everything is communicated through strange riddles and games, so the subject itself when it is discussed is often minimised, undermined or joked about to make more comfortable.

The thing is, it becomes a very scary world if we start opening up these truthful conversations about sexual violence and rape and start listening to and believing survivors because we will not only realise the true scale of the problem but will be met with the distressing truth that it could happen to anyone.

It can. It can happen to women who drink and take drugs and women who never have, women who wear very little and women who well full burqas, physically strong women and women with less physical strength, poor women and rich and famous women, and women from all cultures and communities. It can happen to men, it can happen to transgender people and it can happen to non-binary people. It can happen in the day at or at night, by a stranger, by a best friend, by a partner or even by a family member. It can involve saying no and physically fighting, it can involve freezing and doing nothing, and it can be when someone is conscious or when they are unconscious.

I have experienced sexual violence and rape where I have frozen and didn’t fight or try to escape and for a long time I believed that this was my fault. Then a few years later I was raped when I screamed and shouted and physically tried to fight someone off me. Neither reaction prevented or stopped the attack.

Because of the way most people expect rape to look for many of you only my last experience will appear to you as rape. But I can now tell you that both were. A lot of the time rape doesn’t look like how you expect it to. There usually is no way of preventing it and no real way of protecting yourself from it happening. This is the distressing reality.

We don’t want to believe that this is true because then we feel unsafe. We want to find reasons to make it the victim’s fault because then we can imagine that we would never get in that situation ourselves therefore it could never happen to us. It is not just men that victim blame it is very often women too. Did you know that research has shown that when there are more women on a jury at a rape trial the victim is less likely to be believed and the perpetrator is less likely to be convicted? Disbelieving and victim blaming is often a way to protect ourselves as we try to believe that we live in a world where we can prevent rape and where it is uncommon.

Sadly this is not the reality. Approximately 85,000 women and 12,000 men are raped in England and Wales alone every year; that’s roughly 11 rapes (of adults alone) every hour*’ (*Rape Crisis England and Wales).

These are only the ones that are recorded, there are countless assaults that go unheard or just don’t ‘look like rape’ so are not reported. We need to hear different portraits of what rape and sexual assault really look like so we know what it is in all it’s forms. Most women I know (and some men I know) have all experienced some form of rape or sexual assault at some point in their life but most have felt unable to report it.

The pressures to report rape are huge. The majority of us think we live in a pretty fair and just society but the criminal justice system is actually very ineffective in terms of rape and sexual violence, not to mention sexist and racist.

Conviction rates for rape are far lower than other crimes, with only 5.7% of reported rape cases ending in a conviction for the perpetrator* (*Rape Crisis England and Wales).

Reporting rape is very long winded (It can takes years sometimes to get it to court), is traumatic and rarely ends in conviction. I would never advise someone to report it to the police (I wish I could say otherwise) as it rarely has any kind of positive outcome for the victim. I have had friends who have and friends who haven’t I fully support each of their decisions.

One thing everyone needs to know is that when something as traumatic as rape happens there is no right or wrong way to act, feel, or be (when it happens or after the assault). There is only whatever you can do to keep yourself alive and to survive the aftermath and people have different ways of responding. Whichever way your way is it is the right way. There is no wrong way. We each react differently to being assaulted or raped and differently to dealing with trauma because we are all individual.

Trauma from rape and sexual violence is horrific. I felt guilt and shame and a whole host of confusing feelings and pain. I have suffered sleep depravation, I stopped eating, drank, I had panic attacks, anxiety attacks, flashback, nightmares and major depression. Sometimes I felt like I was loosing my mind and losing my identity.

Recovery is slow and sometimes confusing. You might feel fine for a few weeks then suddenly out of nowhere someone says a certain word or looks at you a certain way or you see something in an advert that makes you break down again. When I went out to bars or parties I had to always stand where I could see the whole room and all the exits. It is exhausting. I had to sleep with the light on and sometimes I still have the light on now if I’m tired or anxious. Sometimes you feel totally normal but then suddenly you feel afraid for no reason when you are just buying a coffee or walking into a shop. Sometimes you feel that maybe nothing is real. Sometimes you can’t feel anything at all and your entire mind is just numb. Sometimes you hate yourself and everyone around you.

But after all of that, somehow, my experiences brought me a strength that is more powerful than I have ever had before. After being so low and full-on crashing, somehow it led me to create great happiness, stability and endless energy for life – that I previously didn’t have. I’m not saying that it was good that I experienced these assaults but I definitely never have felt stronger and more understanding of myself than I do now* (*Side note: I am not in any way in a perfect state of happiness, patience and understanding of self – I still sometimes get low or angry and still get anxiety every now and again, I am human, but generally I feel content and happy).

I think this is something else that is not talked about; whilst you can never forget what happened, life does go on after rape. It does not control you. It is possible to have fun, have a great time, and be able to do things, have great relationships, have great sex and have a real life, after rape.

Of course it is different for everyone but so many people assume that rape ruins your life and that is not always the case.

This is why I want to be open about my experiences not just of rape and sexual violence itself but about what it meant to me, how it affected me and who I am now. I speak out not because I want sympathy but because I want more understanding. I want people to know the bigger picture.

Unfortunately because of the culture we live in once I tell someone about what happened to me automatically they act slightly differently towards me and most likely think differently of me. I have been called a victim, I have been called a liar and I have been called brave – all these labels make me angry, as I am none of these things.

I hate the connotations with the words of ‘rape victim’; the imagery of being ‘weak, ruined, unstable, broken, submissive, damaged, dirty or fragile’ – this is what I most fear will be attached to my identity when I speak out. I fear people will think less of me or less capable and able of doing things. Many people I have spoken to also fear this perception and stigma attached the identity of being a victim/survivor.

Being a victim of rape does not mean I am a rape victim. I am my own person, a whole human, not weak, not broken – just me: someone who survived attacks.

What if instead of seeing weakness when we think of a person who has experienced rape we instead saw strength, saw resilience and saw a whole person? All the survivors I know are the strongest, most powerful and most inspiring people I have ever met in my life. We are most definitely not weak.

Rape culture and rape myths harmed me as much as rape itself did. This is why we need to challenge the ideas we have around rape and sexual violence not just for ourselves but also for our daughters, sons, nieces and nephews, for the future of young people on this planet.

Normalisation of rape or ignoring facts are not only dangerous for those who survived these experiences but highly damaging to ourselves too because we are all avoiding the truth. When don’t actually all accept there is a problem how can we expect to find a solution?

We need to start having these conversations, we need to start listening to these stories rather than judging and we need to realise how important it is to understand that there are not only millions of incidents of rape but also millions of survivors. We need to see the people and the stories behind these facts and figures.

What I ask of you today is five simple things: please share these words, please start to judge less and listen more, please be kind, please believe survivors and please really hear what they have to say when they speak.

Article by Bryony Ball

    We are many was originally published on Bristol Women's Voice