#and so she avoided it
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@shackld said: ❛ do you mind if i smoke? ❜ - serpent!
random assortment of sentence starters
Serpent's lips part and then hesitate ; UNCERTAIN how she should be answering. Instead pink lips seem frozen and no words leave her as she stares at Chief in concern.
Yes, actually. That's not good for you! That is what Serpent's instincts scream at her to say. Chief already has enough injuries, her body has already endured enough pain and recovery and damage as it is. The last thing her body needs is to deal with weak lungs on top of everything else that she is recovering from. But what alternative can Serpent offer? Her Ambrosia won't give her dreamless one any sweet escape. It's simply a sweet drink to the both of them. It will fill no void and soothe no pain that they endure.
If it makes you happy. Isn't that her priority? Everyone's happiness? It isn't as if Chief is chainsmoking the cigarettes after all. She's never even seen Chief smoke although her heightened senses have caught the lingering ashy taste in the air around her before. ONE cigarette now shouldn't be bad. After the last two weeks, it was understandable Chief would want something to offer at least a bit of relaxation. Serpent saw how hard the higher ups were on her. If it makes Chief happy, that's all that should matter.
The truth is this. Serpent hates smoking. It leaves her feeling nauseous and weak, it causes a nasty cough to build up in her throat. Fire smoke was different than cigarette smoke ; she could handle that smoke for a while. But Serpent is also familiar with cigarette smoke. Clients have smoked despite her dislike of it, and back when she was on the dark web as a show, the underground sets for her livestreams often had the faintest traces of it. She's built something of a tolerance to it these days, but she still dislikes it. But she doesn't want to disappoint Chief, doesn't want to give Chief another reason to be off by herself, or be another source of stress. ( Except she is, isn't she? Even now she's still regarded as one of the most dangerous - the staff and most sinners don't like her. ) At least she's UPWIND from Chief, so the smoke should be blown away from her.
" I won't tell anyone. " Serpent finally answers, her voice shifting to her high-pitched performance voice when she offers a smile.
It's not the answer to the question Chief asked.
#shackld#she couldn't bring herself to say anything#and so she avoided it#᛭ — [IC] happiness evades the longing heart [SERPENT]
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I love how Discworld introduces Granny Weatherwax.
She is introduced as a witch, but it's not actually clear if she can do any magic for quite some time. At first all she does is herbal medicine and Headology, aka make-believe, mind tricks, placebos and basically tricking people.
Even when it becomes clear that she flies around on a broomstick and can project her mind into other living things, it's still not obvious if she can do any magic beyond that.
And then she and her buddies magically move an entire country 15 years into the future, and it becomes very clear that she's not only very much capable of doing magic, but she's one of the strongest, if not the strongest magic user in the entire world who can do stuff like summon death himself with nothing but a candle, and I am not even sure she really needs the candle.
Compare that to the wizards. The first impression you get of them is that they're powerful magic users, I mean they are wizards in a fantasy world, people fear them for their magic, and they got a whole magic college, so they must be powerful, right? They even look down on witches because they "don't use real magic"... and because they're usually women.
Granted, the very first (and best) wizzard we're introduced to can't even do any magic, but he seems like an outlier. Then you hear more and more about the magic college and other wizards, and it becomes clear that most wizards are arrogant and lazy fucks who can't do much magic beyond basic fireballs, turning people into frogs and maybe teleportation. Even the head-wizard of the college was completely helpless after running out of juice from a single teleportation spell.
Even when all the wizards become incredibly powerful, thanks to circumstances beyond their control, all they use their magic for is building really tall wizard towers and raging wars against each other. Wars which are ripping holes into reality, which threaten to release unspeakable horrors from the unspeakable horrors dimension.
Like... the books used most reader's assumptions and expectations, aka 'Headology', to make them underestimate Granny Weatherwax while overestimating the Wizards.
Just *chef's kiss* world building.
#Discworld#and granny is a really deep and complex character on top of that#who tries to avoid using magic whenever possible because she's so powerful and knows how fucking dangerous magic can be
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Book 2 au: sparring sessions and short hair katara
They like to have sparring sessions in order to keep their bending skills sharp. They allow themselves to go all out and not hold back at all cause they know if anyone got hurt, Katara could just heal them
But anyways, wouldn't it be kinda funny if Zuko accidentally burned Katara's hair tho? Aofkqldkkajfjd
The "I think we can save the hairloops" line is from @linnoya-writes thank you for that!! :>>
#zutara#zuko#katara#atla#book 2 au#my art#i mentioned in my last book 2 au post that i wanted to include short hair katara into it and y'all were so supportive of it!! 😭😭😭#so this is how i think it would go#it would happen as katara is trying to evade one of zuko's fire balls#she manages to avoid it but since her hair is long it still caught on fire#she'd be pissed so she water whips the hell out of zuko#and then promptly forgets about it akfhkakdkakdj#even after the sparring session she still hasn't remembered cause 'oh no zuko's in pain i have to help him!'#it isn't until zuko even mentions it that she remembers#zuko thinks she's more calm than i thought she would be after burning her hair so he mentions it to her#little did he know katara just forgor aldjlakdkaljd#n e ways zuko does feel bad so she offers to help fix it up for her#i think after the haircut katara would find herself looking in mirrors when there are any around cause 'zuko thinks i'm beautiful?? really?#zuko doesn't know this tho and he thinks katara is till sad about the unwanted haircut so he keeps telling her that she looks beautiful#and katara just keeps losing it aldjlakdlald#in conclusion they are idiots your honor
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You know what I realize that people underestimate with Pride & Prejudice is the strategic importance of Jane.
Because like, I recently saw Charlotte and Elizabeth contrasted as the former being pragmatic and the latter holding out for a love match, because she's younger and prettier and thinks she can afford it, and that is very much not what's happening.
The Charlotte take is correct, but the Elizabeth is all wrong. Lizzie doesn't insist on a love match. That's serendipitous and rather unexpected. She wants, exactly as Mr. Bennet says, someone she can respect. Contempt won't do. Mr. Bennet puts it in weirdly sexist terms like he's trying to avoid acknowledging what he did to himself by marrying a self-absorbed idiot, but it's still true. That's what Elizabeth is shooting for: a marriage that won't make her unhappy.
She's grown up watching how miserable her parents make one another; she's not willing to sign up for a lifetime of being bitter and lonely in her own home.
I think she is very aware, in refusing Mr. Collins, that it's reasonably unlikely that anyone she actually respects is going to want her, with her few accomplishments and her lack of property. That she is turning down security and the chance keep the house she grew up in, and all she gets in return may be spinsterhood.
But, crucially, she has absolute faith in Jane.
The bit about teaching Jane's daughters to embroider badly? That's a joke, but it's also a serious potential life plan. Jane is the best creature in the world, and a beauty; there's no chance at all she won't get married to someone worthwhile.
(Bingley mucks this up by breaking Jane's heart, but her prospects remain reasonable if their mother would lay off!)
And if Elizabeth can't replicate that feat, then there's also no doubt in her mind that Jane will let her live in her house as a dependent as long as she likes, and never let it be made shameful or awful to be that impoverished spinster aunt. It will be okay never to be married at all, because she has her sister, whom she trusts absolutely to succeed and to protect her.
And if something eventually happens to Jane's family and they can't keep her anymore, she can throw herself upon the mercy of the Gardeners, who have money and like her very much, and are likewise good people. She has a support network--not a perfect or impregnable one, but it exists. It gives her realistic options.
Spinsterhood was a very dangerous choice; there are reasons you would go to considerable lengths not to risk it.
But Elizabeth has Jane, and her pride, and an understanding of what marrying someone who will make you miserable costs.
That's part of the thesis of the book, I would say! Recurring Austen thought. How important it is not to marry someone who will make you, specifically, unhappy.
She would rather be a dependent of people she likes and trusts than of someone she doesn't, even if the latter is formally considered more secure; she would rather live in a happy, reasonable household as an extra than be the mistress of her own home, but that home is full of Mr. Collins and her mother.
This is a calculation she's making consciously! She's not counting on a better marriage coming along. She just feels the most likely bad outcome from refusing Mr. Collins is still much better than the certain outcome of accepting him. Which is being stuck with Mr. Collins forever.
Elizabeth is also being pragmatic. Austen also endorses her choice, for the person she is and the concerns she has. She's just picking different trade-offs than Charlotte.
Elizabeth's flaw is not in her own priorities; she doesn't make a reckless choice and get lucky. But in being unable to accept that Charlotte's are different, and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with Charlotte.
Because realistically, when your marriage is your whole family and career forever, and you only get to pick the ones that offer themselves to you, when you are legally bound to the status of dependent, you're always going to be making some trade-offs.
😂 Even the unrealistically ideal dream scenario of wealthy handsome clever ethical Mr. Darcy still asks you to undergo personal growth, accommodate someone else's communication style, and eat a little crow.
#hoc est meum#pride and prejudice#elizabeth bennet#charlotte lucas#meta#charlotte is a much less sociable person than lizzie#so avoiding her husband most of the time and not seeking out his company is more viable for her!#she also has more patience for people being wrong#partly i think because she kinds checks out and lets them get on with it which lizzie isn't too great at even with her mother#people have different needs like that's a thing okay#marriage#spinsterhood#pragmatism#like if elizabeth had to listen to collins talk for a few months straight she would be nearly insane with rage#he's not just a low-quality man he's a man designed to be the worst for her specifically#also note that because jane's marriage is elizabeth's fallback plan#darcy screwed her over personally by interfering between her and bingley#she ofc does not bring this up how could she#but it's intensifying the anger during the hunsford rejection i think
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can we talk about how much queer and trans joy was this season? maggie and nina. they/them muriel, saraquel, beelzebub, even GOD. "you're a good lad" "im not actually, either". that one shopkeeper and his non binary spouse, played by a non binary actor. beelzebub and gabriel. shax, nina and maggie all thinking azi and crowley were together. also yes i'm gonna mention: crowley and aziraphale's kiss. it's just, i get that everyone's hurt and so am i but can we please focus on how beautiful this season was to us? we got so much and i'm so happy, despite the ending.
#i love queer people i love queer joy i love this show i love us sm#also crowley deliberately avoiding using 'mr' in the 1827 flashback cause she was SO CLEARLY presenting fem#this season was literally just queer people doing crazy shit for each other and im actually emotional over how accepted everyone was#in the show and how fucking easy it is to have queer and trans characters on screen and just let them be. im gonna ugly sob#good omens#good omens s2#azicrow#good omens season 2#good omens s2 spoilers#go s2 spoilers#go spoilers#go s2#ineffable bureaucracy#ineffable spouses#i just realized god is actually they/she but that's cool af too#AND ELSBETH AND WEE MORAG TOO WOOOHOO GO SAPPHICS
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happy older-woman-who-takes-care-of-the-family day!!!!!
#isat#in stars and time#siffrin#odile#isat odile#isat siffrin#isat fanart#paper craft#I LOVE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE OLDER-WOMAN-WHO-TAKES-CARE-OF-THE-FAMILY EVER#i think its fun to think everyone calls her various convoluted things to avoid calling her 'mom' or 'mother' and she likes it a lot
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behind every sandy man is a woman rooting for his downfall
#do ants have integrity#sir crocodile#nico robin#one piece#I fucking LOVED the alabasta arc#crocodile simultaneously one of the stupidest and smartest villains#dude managed to successfully create a coup in a country that couldn’t be successfully avoided#but also he falls for telephone scams#I want to kiss him on the mouth#also NICO ROBIN MY BELOVED#SHES SO BADASS#wife for sure#she’s so dramatic#that entrance on the stairs?#SERVE
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some butterfly island ponies 🦋 (the best my little ponies ever created)
#I've said it before but I have a habit of avoiding drawing something when I like it too much and it's a habit I'm trying to break#so here's a few of the pegasi from my favoritest slice of the whole franchise :)#my little pony#mlp g3#thistle whistle#splish splash#baby honolu-loo#coconut grove#island delight#butterfly island#splish splash needs more fanart she's gorgeous. she's been my discord icon for yearssss
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This parallel this parallel this parallel, it's cute how surprised Sua looks when people are affectionate with her, but I wonder if Ivan ever reminded Sua of her sister at times with the way he treated her, sometimes being reminiscent of how she used to be treated by her sister, and the cruelty was just as familiar(?)
#brain vomit aurhhghhfhhfhghhg *explodes*#ivansua sibling agenda got to me#alien stage#alnst#but i do wonder#ivan and that woman are probably the only real sibling figures she's ever had even if she doesnt want to acknowledge it#but her siblings are so mean to her hnnn#and in the way that the the cruelty was supposed to be helpful and they both have a creepyish side to them even though theyre gentle#could be a penny of an explanation for why she's especially avoidant of him#other than the fact that he annoys her and all
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[ID: Three digital drawings of Sam and Alice from The Magnus Protocol on gray backgrounds. Sam is a fat South Asian man with warm brown skin, short curly black hair, and a mustache and chin scruff. He is wearing small black earrings, a black cardigan, cream turtleneck, dark red trousers, brown and gold loafers with cream socks, and a lanyard with a white and red card on it. Alice is a lanky white woman with pale skin and freckles, fluffy light brown hair with faded pink tips, and crooked teeth. She is wearing snakebite lip piercings, three pairs of silver earrings, bright pink cat-eye glasses and painted nails, a black wrist cuff and a red and gold bracelet, a pink and grey flannel shirt, a black zip-up hoodie, a tiered flannel skirt with different colored tiers, dusty pink converse and brown socks, and a lanyard with a white and red card on it. The first two images are drawings of a bust and full body of both Sam and Alice respectively.
The second image is a drawing of Sam stumbling while Alice leans back over him, resting her head upside down on his shoulder with her arms crossed. In this image, Alice is wearing a pair of ripped jeans and berry colored socks instead, and Sam also has a pink and grey bracelet visible on his wrist. Both of them are smiling. end ID]
~~~~
it is time for the thems <3
#fg's art#the magnus protocol#tmagp#samama khalid#alice dyer#tmagp spoilers#i guess#i assume that civil service has a more formal dress code than what alice is doing but i imagine she doesn't Care very much#also idk if that skirt is gonna stay but it was at least fun to draw here#to me sam is like a cozy fireplace to alice's crisp winter breeze. hence the color schemes here#i tried to avoid seeing too many alice designs but everyone who said alice has snakebites is so real
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It would be nice to hear from Wanda and Cosmo! It is kind of nice that you guys have two children like your own family does. Are you two still close to your siblings? Wanda has a sibling and Cosmo also have a sibling just like Timmy and Peri. Do they share some sibling stories to your children?
Wanda and Cosmo both reconnected with their siblings shortly after having Peri. Or, well. More like Blonda reentered their lives once she realized she had a baby nephew. Eventually, they slowly patched things up the more Blonda came to visit Peri.
Schnozmo was dragged back kicking and screaming. Mama Cosma refuses to have her sons live estranged lives now that she has a grandchild in the picture. Schnozmo doesn't know how to handle children, but he's doing his best.
Peri likes Schnozmo because he makes silly noises and funny stories. But he prefers Blonda's theatrics much more and loves playing Dress Up with her.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop cosmo#fop wanda#fop peri#fop blonda#fop schnozmo#cosmo#wanda#peri#blonda#schnozmo#asks#avarus of the west#itty bitties fop au#ive decided that worms on strings are real fairy creatures and theyre used like fox coats in fairy world. lots of implications for this.#you know how kids seem to flock towards the least capable adult for some reason and cling onto them despite the adult trying to avoid them?#peri and schnozmo <3#schnozmo taught peri how to give a convincing lie and how to be charismatic enough to avoid trouble#peri and blonda are like 2 peas in a pod!#peri's very receptive to her dramatic flairs and eccentrics. blonda loves spending lots of her money into getting him elaborate outfits#blonda helped peri with his opening lines for when he met his first godchild. she refined schnozmo's charisma in Peri#MEANWHILE ON TIMMYS END#timmy already has opinions about blonda and schnozmo#theyre neither good nor bad but he cares not for drama and doesn't like that schnozmo's a chronic liar#but he does like that he has caring relatives now! they show up to his celebrations and gives him thoughtful gifts and advice. its nice.#timmy has never told peri about schnozmo's past as a conartist. he knows that schnozmo's doing his best to fix himself for the better#so hes not going to ruin that by telling peri and others about his past
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#noticed this post was made by a TERF so get stolen idiot#and in case she sees this: if cats could understand the kind of hate you stand for they’d avoid you forever. you don’t deserve cats#animals#cats#eepy#seepy#eepying#iz sweepy#soooo eepy#kittens#sleepy
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Desperate Villain Danny AU
(this is a 17 yr old danny)
It started out slowly.
First, a few of Danny's less active Rouges stopped showing up at all. He didn't really notice, and just assumed that they had finally had their Fill of their Obsession for a while and would simmer down for a bit.
Then, some more of his Rouges stopped showing up. No big deal, but he is getting a little concerned for them. They had definitely not had their fill of their Obsessions yet, why did they stop?
Then, the worst started happen. All of his actual Ghost Friends start to disappear. Ember, Kitty, Johnny, even Amorpho, they all start to not show up at all in the Living World.
He goes looking for them in Realms, but he can't find any of them whatsoever. He tries asking around, but everybody else noticed the disappearances much earlier than him and began to hide away from whatever was taking all of the strong Ghosts. He can't find anybody, and the ones he does find won't tell him anything (or don't know themselves)
It takes weeks of searching, but eventually he gets his answer.
The GIW show up in Amity again after a period of absolutely no activity. They have stepped up their operations HARD. Advanced Ghost Hunting Equipment, Much more Competent Agents, and most worrying of all, they seem to know that Phantom is friends with Sam, Tucker, and Danny Fenton.
The GIW comes to his house for a Meeting with his parents, where he overhears them offering his parents a position in their Organization as Head Scientists. While there they also manage to plant Bugs in Danny's room somehow. Although he finds them quickly enough and destroys them.
And then, one night during dinner while his parents are ranting about the GIWs Labs, they mention something that cinches it for Danny.
"And today we even got to Dissect one of the Spooks! It was that Mind Controlly one, you know the one with the blue firey hair stuff that sang a bunch! We're going back tomorrow to continue our Study, this time we'll see how long it'll pretend to experience pain before it decides to give up on tricking us!"
That night, Danny packed up all his things, destroyed the Ghost Portal alongside everything else in his parents Lab, and left his house.
He tracked down the GIW Base, saved Ember from her Cell, and decimated the surrounding Area. No survivors, none of the research is preserved, and he left the Site Director alive to question him.
Turns out, the GIW had managed to Reverse Engineer the Ghost Portal from that brief period of time where they had taken control of Fenton Works. They had been using their own Portal to kidnap any Ghost they could get their hands on. Using the research from those subjects, they perfected their Ghost Hunting Tech and started going after the bigger fish.
"But good luck finding it, Ecto Scum! The Portals location was hidden to everybody, even me!" He said.
"Where are the others!" Danny cried. He was losing control of his appearance by this point. After seeing what they had done to Ember, he was too angry to maintain his Humanoid Form successfully. Even now, with most of his control, he could hear the Static in the air around him, and see the Glitching of his hands as they clenched this Monsters clothes.
"Scattered!" He said with a crazed laugh, "We knew we couldn't contain all of them, so we send them to all of our sites across the Country! You'll never find them!"
Without another word, Danny plowed his arm through the man's chest.
He turned around, picking up Embers weakened Body, before beginning his long flight to Wisconsin. Vlad still owed him a few Favors after all, and honestly his mentorship offers seemed VERY Tempting right now.
(Why reject him if you don't care about keeping your dad alive anymore?)
...
The JLA had recently received a distress signal from somewhere in the middle of some random Forest in Illinois, but when they got to the location, all they found was a crater filled with the ruins of some kind of Military Base, and so so many Bodies.
They had managed to figure out that this was a Government Site owned by an organization called the GIW. A Paranormal Investigation Wing of the Government focused on the study and capture of Supernatural Beings called Ecto-Entities, otherwise referred to as Ghosts.
As it turns out, an Ecto-Entity that had been terrorizing the local town for a few years now had made a drastic change in normal behavior and had attacked the GIW Base that had been posted there.
They would have destroyed it years ago, but this one was unnaturally powerful. It had eluded their capture and terrorized the Town for years, but they had too much pride to contact the JLA and admit that they needed help. And honestly until now, they didn't really need it. The Entity had been entirely confined to the singular town, and had not strayed from that behavioral Pattern in the 3 years since it's inital sighting. They had made the difficult choice to leave it there, sacrificing one town in exchange for the rest of the country.
But now they did need their help. This Entity, this Phantom, was one of the most powerful beings that had ever recorded, maybe even The Most Powerful. The fact that it had left the Secluded town it usually frequented meant that it was loose to wreak havoc across the rest of the world.
The JLA Needed to Find this thing, and Fast.
#Dp x dc#Dpxdc#Dc#Dcu#Danny Phantom#Villain Danny Phantom#Morally Grey Danny Phantom#He doesn't care about killing GIW agents#He'll still avoid Civilians though#Danny accepts Vlads offer#He doesn't care anymore cause he has no reason to refuse#He doesn't care about being evil#He doesn't care if his dad dies#And Ellie once told him that she still held some love for vlad so that's not really too big a conflict of interest#Speaking of Ellie...#He hasn't seen her in a while...#🤫#Foreshadowing???#Hmmm
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some of the right words
#akia art#olba#baxter ward#olba mc#maggie fighting for her life (colorized)#girl went into step 3 a casual dater and it took all of two (2) moments for her to accept she was screwed#doubly so bc it was supposed to be seasonal 🤣 it's such a fun premise for how it engages the mc's own complexities#i wonder how long it took baxter to fall on his ass tbh#i feel like he was self-aware enough to know it was happening but there had to have been an element of frog in boiling water to it#what w all that 19 yo emotional constipation LMAO#and the writing's preoccupation w coexisting dualities#the recoil of refusing to perceive until perceiving happens beyond your control must be insane#anyway i was also fighting for my life trying to draw a mouth kiss and that's why i've avoided them until now#tell me why it's giving the slobbery make out meme 😭🤣
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can you draw fem scout and dad spy pls?? I think it's going to be fun 🤣
That's a really nice thought!!! And a funny dynamic
#i think he would treat a bit better than original scout#since it's his only daughter#but will bitch around her and maybe avoid here even more cause she reminds him so much of her mother#will absolutely kick ass if anyone lays eyes on her not kidding#i like to think that at first femscout was really jealous of miss pauling#and only after that developed her feelings#sapphics appreciation#team fortress 2 fanart#team fortress 2#tf2#tf2 fanart#tf2 scout#tf2 femscout#tf2 spy#dadspy
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re last reblog I do see fanfic culture pushing/replicating a certain model of "what trauma looks like," "how trauma works"
this is a problem across all areas of society obviously, but transformative works are, well, transformative. they're about crafting and modifying narratives where the fan-creator sees a flaw or a lack -- often for the better! don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of "I take a hammer and I fix the canon," it's the main thing that gets my creative gears spinning -- but what happens when that "flaw" is simply a narrative not conforming to popular expectations?
some people just don't get PTSD from events that sound obviously traumatic. they're not masking, and they're not coping; they just straight-up didn't get the permanently-locked stress-response that defines PTSD. they walk away from a horrible experience going "well, that sucked, but it's over now." some people do get PTSD from events most people wouldn't find traumatic. we don't really know why some people get PTSD and others don't. but fandom has an idea of events that must be traumatizing, of a "correct" way to portray trauma. you see the problems with this lack of understanding in e.g. fans pressuring the devs of Baldur's Gate 3 to add dialogue where the player character badgers Halsin about his own feelings on his abuse -- because he must be traumatized, and his trauma must fit a certain mold and presentation of sexual trauma, under the mistaken impression that anything outside that narrow window is somehow "wrong" and disrespectful or even harmful to survivors.
take, for another example, the very common trope of a traumatized character who hates touch or sex "learning" to like touch or sex as a part of their healing process. certainly that can be healing for some people; other people will never like, or want, touch or sex, because of trauma or because they just don't. the assumption that someone who doesn't want sex or doesn't like to be touched must be traumatized, must be suffering from this perceived lack, is seriously harmful -- to asexual people, to people with sensory issues around touch, and to people for whom healing from trauma means freedom to refuse sex or touch.
and there's a secondary trope, one that's slightly more thoughtful but ultimately repeats the problem -- that once someone has learned that their boundaries will be respected, they'll feel it's safe to soften those boundaries. once they feel safe refusing touch or sex, they'll feel comfortable allowing it on their own terms. but many people don't, and many people won't! many people will simply never want to be touched, and never want sex, and they are not suffering or broken or lacking because of it. the idea that proving you'll respect someone's boundaries entitles you to test those boundaries -- the paradox is obvious, and yet this is something i've seen hurt (re-traumatize) people i care for.
people are imperfect victims. people don't heal in the ways you expect. many people have positive memories of their abuse, of their abusers. many people hurt others in the course of their trauma, in ways that can't easily be unpacked in a 5k oneshot. very few narratives of trauma and recovery actually fit the ones put forward by popular children's media and romance novels -- which are the ones I most see replicated in fandom spaces, because they provide the clearest narrative and easiest catharsis, and so they're easy and soothing to reach for.
that's not necessarily a bad thing! i am not immune to goopy romance tropes. i am not immune to teary catharsis. not every fic has to grapple with ugly realities. but there's a problem when these narratives become predominant, when people think they're accurate and realistic depictions of trauma, when the truth of trauma is unpleasant and uncomfortable, and doesn't fit any single narrative, let alone one of comforting catharsis
#bird original#see also: the murderbot diaries#murderbot does not like to be touched. murderbot does not like touching other people#physical contact is an unpleasant necessity in emergencies or to feign being human (something murderbot also hates)#at one point murderbot uncomfortably offers a hug to someone it cares for because she's upset and needs one --#and she refuses. because she knows it doesn't really want to; she won't ask it to do something it hates for her benefit#& yet murderbot fic often has it learning that touch ~isn't so bad~ and maybe there are a COUPLE people it likes to cuddle with.#the differences between vash in the original trigun anime and trigun stampede --#tristamp!vash is your woobie who hides his sad and traumatized heart under goofy behavior;#who copes and avoids through silly indulgences#2011!vash ... is not that#2011!vash isn't coping or masking. he feels immense grief yes; he also feels immense joy; the two are inseparable#he pursues joy moment to moment because he knows how fleeting each moment is#he loves people so intensely because he knows that he'll lose them -- so he has no time to waste with them#his grief is real and profound; so is his joy#i find that much more compelling and i feel like that's not a character i'd see in today's media environment#anyway#fandom#trauma#fanfic#throwing a golden apple into the tags with this but fuck it we ball
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