#and so much better
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the ballad of kj
you did it last year, you started a trend, but no one cares; no one does, no one did. everyone noticed for a couple of hours
and then forgot about it.
last year, you were a rookie too, but it didn't matter. no one voted for you, no one noticed you, despite everything you accomplished that thought was decent. everyone forgot about you. everyone still forgets that you are here.
your presence is noticable like a ghost; half alive, half dead.
you did it all for your country. olympics, world championships, you name it. and it probably all was for nothing. you scored a gold goal, you took your revenge in the summer and no one noticed it.
no one cares.
your best friends make the headlines. you are the one staying in the shadows behind. your name is barely mentioned anywhere when you do something right or spectacular.
you act like it doesn't matter and that you don't care.
you started the season down as no one really believed in you. you did everything to make it right. you smashed it, you collected everything that you could. you came back up and it's the same
as if you didn't exist.
you want to be somebody. you live for hockey. it keeps you alive. but how can something that keeps you alive can also make you feel almost dead at the same time? why are you the one that ends up fighting for your worth when you know that you're enough for this world?
you know that are enough but are you really?
or are you a ghost of yourself living through others?
#a kent johnson poem#because he deserves it#and so much better#spending my nights writing poems/words from ioana's blog made me do this LMAO#words to heal the soul#(by me)#idk how to tag this#alexandra.poetry#i guessssssss
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yâall justâ thinking about how excited Stanley must have been to host the twinsâ Alex says he smokes cigars but he doesnât smoke once in the showâ has a beer gut but he only drinks sodas in front of the kidsâ doesnât swear when theyâre around which must have taken INCREDIBLE effortâ Stanley Pines, known crook, buying pancake mix at the supermarket and many bottles of syrupâ learning to cook basic healthy meals and burning so many of them before he gets it rightâ buying new sheets, new mattressesâ avoiding bunk beds because it reminds him of Fordâ looking at the attic room he made wondering âis this enough will they like meââ trying to act aloof at the bus stop so he doesnât betray the fact that he was there hours earlyâ watching them goof around and thinking of New Jersey beachesâ then the first night theyâre there, he watches them debate running away and only stay because Mabel shook a magic 8 ball. That must have kept him awake all night.
#stanley isnât perfect but the fact that he made tangible efforts to be a better guardian just makes me ache so much#he has so much love inside him and it had nowhere to go until the twins came#man. The show hits harder as an adult methinks#gravity falls#gf#stanley pines#grunkle stan#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#stan pines#dipper pines#mabel pines
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Expertise can't help you here.
#dungeon meshi#kabru#laios touden#falin touden#Happy Thistle Thursday once again. Have I been holding on to this comic for several weeks? Sure have!#I forgot how long it takes for Chimera Falin to come into play.#I still really love my 'better drawn' art of her - unfortunately it was several weeks too early for the anime only folks.#Slowly getting the hang of drawing Laios. I don't know why I struggle so much but I am getting...somewhere.#Meta time: God damn I love how the chimera shows off the expertise and gap between Kabru and Laios.#The truth is: they are both *right* and they are both *wrong*.#This creature is a combination of monster and human and they only have the skillset to deal with one of those.#Kabru goes for all the human vitals - but she isn't human.#Laios tries to approach her as a monster and is struck down by the humanity he sees in her.#She is something new that defies what they *both* understand about the world. And that makes her such a perfect antagonist.#The damsel was the dragon all along!#...She is really so cute though. Terrifying! But adorable. I am so excited to see the boom of fanart for her.
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for me internet friendships are âwe donât talk all the time but I see youâre online and it makes me happyâ and I really hope itâs like that for everyone
#like I know iâve been somewhat mia#my mental health took a dive this year#Iâm somewhat better!!#but I just see people here and I love them so much
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Selfshippers who ship with weird/unappealing characters. I love you. Like hell yeah you go get with Mr Crocker. Go get with lord faarquad
#I get it.#EMBRACE THAT SHIT#itâs such a fucking power move and I gain so much respect for u#also Iâd like to add I selfship with spamton neo and king candybug#if that makes you feel any better#selfship#txt#1k
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Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety
If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you
If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
People are allowed to be wrong about you
If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect
Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it
The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something
You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it
Most things are better after you sleep on them
Most things are better after you have a meal
Most things are better after you shower
Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"
If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction
If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction
"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier
If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two
You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction
When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery
People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves
If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it
If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable
If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it
If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it
Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step
Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary
If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike
Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP
No one cares what you look like
If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"
People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company
You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you
If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly
You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will
Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable
Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it
Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier
And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
#anxiety#long post#i have been an adult for the better part of a decade and it has gotten SO much easier as i internalized these#swearing tw
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a shitty movie from the 90s is worth more than the shitty movies that are made today
#shitty movies from the 90s aren't even that shitty bc the production value is just so much better#now it's netflix movie slop#mypost#text post by me#my text post
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I have finally finished season 2 of Arcane and can now enjoy your art without fear!!! They should be happy together đĽş
I take it "they" means zaundads because that is what I've been drawing the most BUT, lets be honest, applies to like 98% of the characters in the show.
They should've been a big happy familyyyy
#my art#sketchy sketch#arcane#zaundads#silco#vander#arcane powder#arcane jinx#arcane vi#arcane mylo#arcane claggor#poor silco having to deal with so many kids that arent powder/jinx#mylo is gonna get his ass beat if claggor can't save him#powder is just a little monkey on vander lol#silco is going to move if the kids aint gonna leave#he has to write angry letters to thr council again#thanks to the commissions I was able to buy a news screen on my pen tablet#but before it arrives I am using my old janky ass galaxy tab for art so drawing is so much slower#but after Christmas I hope I am back to using my better one#thats my queue to leave
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David Tennant for Prime Minister, please.
edit- Since this is getting so much attention, edited to include descriptions of screenshots.
This woman has lost her fucking mind.
Jo, are you okay?
#Fuck your Rowling#Fuck terfs#David Tennant#Fuck Harry Potter#And everyone who watches Rowlingâs new Harry Potter show#little whinging fuckers#gender taliban?#have you completely lost your mind JKR#maybe just stop being a little whinging fucker JKR#if he's smart he would never want this job because it's a horrible one but we'd be so much better off with a sane person in charge#But seriously Rowling are you okay?#does she look tired to you?#well I guess this has broken containment#He didnât actually say youâre name JKR#he just called out transphobes and you assumed he was talking about you#which says you know exactly what you are and identify as a transphobe#says a lot#described
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Updated Imri's model. Proud of him
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I will genuinely never forgive anyone involved in making The Imitation Game for their absolute travesty of Alan Turingâs story.
He was intensely autistic, and gay, and *kind*.
He mentored people below him in the programme - including women, who pretty much everyone else was crappy to.
He had terrible allergies and went cycling in a gas mask in the country to avoid then, and when he got overstimulated at parties he pulled incredibly daft elaborate âwalking into a cupboardâ leaving gags to handle them that left everyone screaming on the floor despite the silliness.
He got on really well with kids and never talked down to them. He gave his neighbours his sugar rations on their kidsâ birthdays so she could always make them birthday cakes - even when he was being persecuted after the war, even when he was suffering horrible side effects from the tortures they put him through.
He was such an utterly, genuinely lovely human being, and he deserved so much damn better, and at the very *least* he deserved to be portrayed as who he was in the 21st fucking century instead of falling into a whole slew of horrifically harmful stereotypes that erased the fucking gift he was to us all over again.
#fuck the imitation game#alan turing#autistic gay and kind af#he deserved so much better#gay erasure#autistic erasure
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you were born to do this
happy N7 Day!
[find prints here!]
#n7 day#mass effect#mass effect fanart#mass effect trilogy#mass effect 3#femshep#commander shepard#mass effect reaper#art#artists on tumblr#illustration#milkyart#been sitting on this for so long ive been going insane#maybe procrastination Is the better option after all. much to think about
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autumnal chill....featuring the girl
#my art#oc#svanhildr#furry#anthro#goat#almost typed ''featuring the girk''#my favourite girk of all time baby#this took an INORDINATE amount of time but also i was experimenting with style so maybe it's somewhat ordinate#i did the brush/texturing too small but it looks nice when you zoom in on some parts#and i finally have a decent twitter banner so small mercies#anyway summer kind of sucked this year - not much warm weather. better than last year but still pretty bad#hopefully september comes in clutch with some last minute sun. so i can appreciate the autumnal chill more when it comes#also scrumping season is coming to a close and i regret not eating more greengages when i had the chance...they rotted off so fast#apple season save me. save me apple season#illustration
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reminder
#dragon quest#akira toriyama#he really said âthis would be so much better if it was just a funny little guyâ
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I think my copy of the game is broken they've been doing this for 30 minutes
Crop of the Biolizard edit I did bc it makes me laugh:
#art#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#rouge the bat#their dynamic is so funny to me like hello what episode of Untucked is this#I am rotating them in a 2 bed 1 bath apartment in my mind#Also very proud of how this turned out I think I'm finally finding a comic rendering style that doesn't make me want to rip my hair out#Simplify baybee it's a comic not an illustration you can get a little crazy with it#Spoiler alert. Getting looser with lineart and better at colour schemes and simplifying shading. Is good actually.#It's so much easier to eyeball what a colour would look like in a setting instead of colourpicking the OG palette and struggling with...#...like 9 overlay and multiply and soft/hard light layers#Approximating colour genuinely looks better than forcing local colour into the piece. As long as the values are still there it works out#comic
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you, me, and the sound of my fingers in your pussy on a lazy sunday afternoon
#craving#itâs just so peaceful in my room rn#and I think your wet pussy would make it sound so much better#text
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