#and since we are here i want to thank everyone for all the nice comments/tags/posts about my art i’ve come across lately
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hello guys, i’m aliveee! just wanted to inform everyone that i will post new stuff soon 👀 (and if everything goes as planned i’ll start working on some chot stuff i’ve promised myself to draw a long time ago🤞🏻)
#and since we are here i want to thank everyone for all the nice comments/tags/posts about my art i’ve come across lately#it means everything to me and i’m sorry i couldn’t interact with you as much as i usually do#but the past month has been pretty busy and draining for me#anyway#i love you guys !! 🫶🏻#thomastair
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Dude I'm so confused
Why are the redditors refugees here-
Whats up with the tag 196
AND WHY IS EVERYONE BEING SO NICE WITH THE TWITTER REFUGEES CAME WE GAVE THEM HELL (almost)
The Reddit refugees are here because several subreddits have gone private in protest of reddit's new policy of charging third party developers for access to its API.
Hence the term reddit blackout.
196 specifically was a very queer friendly subreddit that had one rule: that you post before you leave. 196 is trending because those Redditors have come here and they're basically sharing their memery here instead as they protest reddit's greed.
As for why we're welcoming them when Twitter refugees were seen with a little more irritation, well.
Think of the culture similarities.
Tumblr and reddit have far more in common than Tumblr and Twitter.
Twitter is about clout and manipulating algorithms and discourse in 280 characters or less. It's about bad takes that reach the right people and it forces you to see things you don't want to see and it's crawling with the worst people imaginable and you're forced to see them, all the time. They also brought bad tagging and 2016 Tumblr discourse with them, because Twitter culture really involves starting fights for clout and braindead opinions that no one really wants to come back to Tumblr culture.
There was a time when Tumblr did the same thing, but worse, with more words...but nowadays, it's really calmed down.
The worst people...went to Twitter after the porn ban. Ironically, it made the site less toxic and hostile.
But then they came back.
And it was like...hm. no thanks. Stay back where you came from.
But Tumblr and Reddit have much more in common.
Both have a more streamlined way of customizing your online feed. You can choose what subreddits you see on your home screen, just like Tumblr only shows you the content of your followers, on your dashboard, and in chronological order rather than what's trending. You can join a very specific weird niche group of freaks with a shared obsession, and not care about the rest of the site at all. You also don't have a character limit on either site, which lets you ramble more and share weird detailed stories.
Reddit might have karma, but like Tumblr, the majority of people are lurkers and not posters. It also allows you to downvote bad opinions, and moderators who have to adhere to certain guidelines of behavior, which means a lot of banning disruptive people.
Granted, sometimes their mods are power hungry, but. You know.
It does more to control its users than Tumblr do, and that's a good thing in terms of keeping toxicity and illegal shit off its subs.
Reddit also has a way more leftwing attitude than you would think.
It has a reputation for being full of incels but I honestly think that's outdated.
It's cleaned up its act quite a bit since the old days.
I see way more vile shit from Twitter and TikTok. Like seriously.
Twitter is crawling with conservative bots and propaganda machines and just outright inflammatory lies. TikTok literally has the worst comment sections I've ever seen, like edgy teenagers cracking racist and misogynistic humor and acting like it makes them different and special. Its algorithm also spoon feeds you garbage and is designed to be as addicting as possible.
At least reddit's culture, while chauvinistic and regressive in certain subcultures, is mostly on the tech positive, atheist libertarian side.
It can be a little pretentious and caustic about certain subjects, and a little full of itself. Some reddits are also very male leaning and disregard female concerns in favor of moaning about how men have it worse than anyone else on earth.
But for the most part?
...well.
I welcome them here, because if they left reddit in protest, then we always support protests. But 196 specifically is also a queer subreddit, and we support that even more.
Plus they're funny as fuck.
What's not to like, really?
You should welcome them with open arms too.
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genre: internet strangers to lovers, idol au, smut
warnings: nsfw under the cut, not very coherent, slutty yeonjun, dom!yeonjun, sexting, choking kink, pet names (baby), praise, drinking (they don't get THAT drunk, alright guys?), one night stand-ish, degradation, unprotected sex, breeding kink, handholding, cursing, dacryphilia, yeonjun lurks on social media TT, reader is bold ASF, not proofread
wc: 2.5k+
an: tysm for the username help @itgirlgyu TT + this is just for the delulus + @beomsl MEL YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE TALKED ABT PART OF THIS???? + i might title this later but who knows!!
taglist: @full-sunnies , @agustdiv1ne
yeonjun who likes to wear his tank tops to show off, loves heading onto moa twitter and tumblr after lives just to see the fandom having a meltdown... especially hard stan social media, watching all the comments and photos of himself show up. he likes being in control like this, having the power to make everyone else go crazy just by wearing something else that day.
he scrolls and scrolls and one specific post pops up, it's community labeled and when he clicks 'keep reading', he can see why; pretty tits on display from the original poster, comments in the tags all about how she's all his, and he's not very surprised to feel himself growing hard in his pants. yeonjun eyes the username, ready to click the blue-fonted 'follow' button, but it's already gone, and his eyes widen to see that it's an account he's been following and interacting with for a while. that fact only makes it better, and he's clicking to his chat with you before he can even think it through what he's about to do.
yawnchoi you look really pretty in that new post...
yn what can i say? yeonjun brings out a special part of me 😭
yawnchoi im very sure he feels the exact same
yn in my dreams 😭 don't fuel my deluluness
yawnchoi i'm being very serious right now
yn mhm mhm sureeee and how would YOU know? 😑
yawnchoi ajksdbwsjdhbw maybe this wasn't a good idea
yn WHAT wasn't a good idea, hm? 🤨
yawnchoi baby all i'm trying to do is figure out how to word that i'm yeonjun 😭
yn i do not believe you for one moment
yawnchoi i'll send a pic that i would never, ever post and you can even reverse image search it or whatever or i could send a video, im not messing around baby
yn go ahead then ;-;
yawnchoi [sent a photo]
yn alright so yeonjun would definitely never post a photo of him in his boxers in bed so imma need that video 🙏
yawnchoi [sent a video]
yn oh. oh holy shit choi yeonjun has seen my tits- NOT ONLY HAS HE SEEN MY TITS HE LIKES THEM- one sec imma need to process haha im totally not hyperventilating haha
yn alright im back hi haha
yawnchoi helloooo 👋
yn wow. alright. so. uh. how do i ask this- you wanna see more tit pics?
yawnchoi THAT WAS SO BOLD HELP ME- but yes pleaseeee
yn [sent a photo]
yawnchoi oh baby- holy shit you're so pretty 🥺
yn thanks jjunie kwsnbdwjkd im still like- going crazy rn yawnchoi thats cute baby :((
yn wjhbswhjdhj so- since you've seen my tits i wanna see you again :(( preferably your dick but haha
yawnchoi yeah? pretty baby wants to see my dick?
yn kjwbshwjdbhe yes please?
yawnchoi asking so nicely... alright baby~ [sent a photo]
yn oh 😳 oh fuck alright sjbdsewjh wanna touch :((
yawnchoi me or yourself, baby?
yn well, both, but only one can happen, right? so me-
yawnchoi go ahead, can i see? yn alright 😳 [sent a video]
yawnchoi baby's so pretty :(( wanna see you cum for me <3
yn [sent a video] would be better if you were here :( want you to touch me so bad wjbwjhdbe
yawnchoi can fly you into korea if you want...
yn YOU'RE KISSING *KIDDING
yawnchoi i'm notttttttt dekjbdekj pretty cunt's got me all horny :((
yn i don't even care if it's a one night stand choi fucking yeonjun's gonna fly me out to korea to fuck me heck yeah
---------------------------------
and he does. books a flight last minute for the next day, from your country to seoul, puts on a pair of sunglasses and his least conspicuous outfit, and drives to the airport. he isn't THAT nervous- it's not like he thinks you're gonna murder him.
and when you walk out of the airport building with nothing but a backpack with you, looking around and waving slightly when you see him, his heart quickens just a little. (and NOT just because he's seen you naked).
you decide to sit in the back of his car for no reason other than you want to, and maybe a little bit because you can't exactly handle looking at him straight on quite yet.
to your surprise, there's no awkward small talk, just him getting straight to the point and saying all the members are out of the dorm currently, but, ever the gentleman, he says since you flew a long way, you can sleep a little bit first and he won't bother you.
your whole body is on alert and you find yourself thinking that there's no way you'd be able to sleep now. it's one thing to sext someone knowing they're an idol- another to actually be in the car with them, on your way to where they live, and knowing you're going to actually fuck them.
yeonjun politely takes your bag when you get out of the car, and when his fingers wrap around the strap, his hand brushes yours slightly. you internally feel like you might faint- you hadn't actually prepared yourself for this, and now he was touching you and he feels real and you knew he was real but now it just feels extra.
holding your bag, he opens the door to the dorm, leading you in before following, taking you into his room and placing your bag down on the floor next to his bed. every single action that takes him closer to you makes your face grow hot, the bed dipping slightly under your weight when you sit down. the sheets are soft, but your mind barely registers it, focusing instead on the fact that you are in yeonjun's bed.
he opens his mouth to say something, and you panic, cutting him off quickly with a wry grin and a statement. "i might need some alcohol in my system before we do anything else."
yeonjun raises his eyebrows in the slightest, a little surprised, but he also gets it. he's pretty sure both his body and his mind want you way too much right now, but he's so nervous he might not do anything. his hands are twisted in his lap and he quickly realizes and sits on them instead before standing.
he leads you to the kitchen, getting himself a can of beer and letting you pour yourself a couple shots of vodka. you know your limits- it's just enough for you to get a little tipsy and stop overthinking everything.
knocking one back, you enjoy the burn in your throat before taking the second. the slight buzz under your skin makes you smile slightly, leaning against the counter while he takes long sips of his own drink. it's obvious he wants this to pick up, so you busy yourself messing with his shirt just a little while he drinks. you slip your fingers under his sleeve, mindlessly rubbing your fingertips back and forth over his skin. you can tell he remembered your comments the previous day about his arms, basing his outfit around that.
he has another tank top on today, arms flexing when he brings the can to his lips to take another sip, and you move your hands a little farther down to rest on his chest. this time, when he lowers the can, his lips are a little wet from the drink and you can't help but press a messy kiss to them, licking the liquid off. yeonjun lets out a slight hiss when your tongues meet, left hand reaching behind him to place the can on the counter.
the alcohol must really be working already because you're both stumbling to his room, messily tugging each other's clothes off, and yeonjun leaves a line of wet hickeys up your neck. each and every touch of his skin on yours makes you feel fire burn a trail across your body, but it's in a way that makes you almost absolutely sure that it's not just because he's one of your celebrity crushes, or because you're a little drunk.
yeonjun's movements are so rushed that in seconds he's on top of you, his own shirt off, pants quick to follow once you tug at them. your hands find way to his newly-lightened hair when his lips and tongue meet yours again, a different kind of intoxication weaving itself up and over each of your limbs, the kind of intoxication that makes you want to live and breathe this man.
"want you," he whispers, cheeks pink from the alcohol, his eyes slightly glazed when he looks into yours, and the way he says it makes your cheeks grow hot again.
"go ahead then, 'm all yours," you exhale in response, trying to ignore the way your heart twinges at your own words. this is just a one time thing, you have to remind yourself.
but yeonjun's eyes light up and he presses another kiss to your lower lip, one hand moving between your legs to part them. his eyes lower to your cunt, and you can feel the way your underwear are sticking to your pussy. you'd chosen to wear white underwear today and you're pretty sure they're see-through by now, drenched completely from all the feelings yeonjun's touch is sending through you.
"all mine?" yeonjun mumbles, eyes wide. and when you nod, he smirks slightly. "love your cunt so much, i might just take you right now." your own eyes widen and yeonjun can feel your breath hitch. "but you'd like that, wouldn't you? pretty slut would love her jjunie taking her raw, would love to have me cum inside..."
you suck in a breath through your teeth at his words, nodding quickly, spread out on the bed beneath him. your mouth tastes like alcohol and yeonjun, and your brain tries to forget how he so flippantly called himself your jjunie.
"jjun, just, just fuck me, please?" you whimper out when he rubs a fingertip over your clothed cunt.
"baby asked so nicely, might as well give her what she wants," he coos, tugging off his boxers only once he slides your underwear down your legs. "promise you'll let me taste you next time?"
you nod, too distracted by the fact that he's already planning a 'next time' in his head to realize that he wants to eat you out, but by the time you understand, he has the tip of his cock pressed to your entrance, other hand holding yours as he slowly pushes in. the gesture feels sweet, romantic even, and you let your eyes fall shut when he pauses his movements.
yeonjun's body is pressed flush to yours in a way that allows him to brush his fingers over your neck, skin smooth against you. his hand wraps loosely around your neck and his breath is hot on your cheek when he whispers, "is this okay?"
you nod once more, only because the combination of the alcohol and his body on you is making your brain so fuzzy you can't think clear enough to speak. yeonjun hums lightly and experiments with his grip, making you gasp a little when he also hits your g-spot. he lets out a hiss when your already-tight walls tighten further around him.
he'd had a feeling that you'd feel like heaven around him, just because of the fact you had stated you were only able to fit two fingers inside yourself, but he had obviously underestimated all the sensations that were going to overwhelm him like they are now. every movement of his hips towards yours makes him fight to control the tremble of his body. your hand is linked with the one he doesn't have around your neck and every time he buries himself completely inside you, your hand tightens just a little around his.
he's losing himself just a little, hand still laced with yours, pace quickening until jolty, broken, high pitched moans are the only sound leaving you. yeonjun can't help but smirk at that, hoisting one leg over his shoulder. "fucking pussy is so perfect, almost like it's made for me, taking me so well... might just keep you here, my personal little cumslut, could bring you on tour with us, fuck you every night in the hotel room, how'd you like that, hm?"
his rhythm is so brutal you're choking on your words by now, broken sobs slipping through your parted lips, tears filling your waterline and then slipping down your cheeks, mixing with the slight mascara you'd put on this morning and making your face a mess. yeonjun likes it too, the way he's so easily able to get you like this, just a few words from his lips and you're crying.
he can't help but tell you this with a mocking pout on his lips that turns into yet another smirk, chuckling when all you can do is whimper incoherently. yeonjun kisses you gentle enough to make up for his harsh words though, he's only trying to make you feel good, and he knows you like it when he talks down to you.
one hand still around your neck, the other moves from your hand to your waist, and he's only fucking into you harder when you whine out that you're close. his lips catch yours again when you gasp out his name, gummy walls fluttering around his dick as your whole body shakes from the force of your orgasm, yeonjun's fingertip rubbing at your clit making you convulse under him.
yeonjun bites back a little moan and lowers his lips to your ear again. "can i cum in you, baby? let me make you mine?"
you can't tell if he's just saying it in the heat of the moment, but you nod, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside you.
he bites his lip slightly, only losing control completely when you lick up the side of his neck and bite a splotchy hickey onto his neck. his warm cum fills you as he mumbles out a string of curses mixed with your name against your neck.
yeonjun practically collapses on you once he pulls out but lets himself take a second to marvel at how pretty you look right now, mascara leaking down your cheeks and neck, his cum and yours leaking from your swollen, abused cunt.
you let him wrap his arms around your form, cheek against his chest, both your bodies hot and sweaty, his bangs plastered to his forehead. there's a question on the tip of your tongue but he answers it for you, mumbling in your ear, "will you stay? for longer than just today?" yeonjun pauses slightly, then continues. "i'm not sure if i want you to be just one time. i know that this part of our relationship is new but we've been talking for so long and yeah, i don't want you to go back home and for this never to happen again."
you purse your lips, alcohol fogging up your brain and making you a little too sleepy to respond. "we'll talk tomorrow, hm? it's late and i had a long flight and i'm tired, jjunie..."
he nods slightly, running a hand through his hair, and presses a kiss to your forehead. "goodnight, yn."
"night night, yeonjun," you exhale.
you're almost half asleep when you hear him whisper, "the others'll be home soon, if they see us like this, i'm blaming you..."
#ada speaks :)#adas hard hours#txt hard hours#txt hard thoughts#txt smut#yeonjun smut#yeonjun hard thoughts#yeonjun hard hours#yeonjun fic#txt fic#txt x reader#yeonjun x reader#this yeonjun reminds me of yeonjun in one of my fics and i LOVE it#may add this to the list of things to write part 2's too#not my fav endings but i had to#its IMPORTANT
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hi >< i freaking love love LOVE your insta au’s so much so i would like to request one my self :’› can i please request an ig!au for toto with a supermodel!reader. let it be like a secret marriage/relationship and the people only finds out they're together when they're accidentally spotted together during a merc party for their win <33 thank you so much in advance!!
Toto Wolff x supermodel!Reader - Social Media AU
yourusername
Liked by lewishamilton, mercedesamgf1, and 1,749,365 others
yourusername it’s lights out and away we go
tagged mercedesamgf1
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mercedesamgf1 you’re basically part of the team already with that outfit
yourusername had to match with the good guys 🤍
lewishamilton are you coming out on the yacht with us later?
yourusername of course! wouldn’t miss it
yourusername’s story
mercedesamgf1
Liked by yourusername, georgerussell63, and 591,432 others
mercedesamgf1 Look who we just happened to find in Qatar
tagged yourusername
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yourusername fancy seeing you here
mercedesamgf1 what a coincidence 😉
bumblebea you guys ain’t slick
legallylewis and your conspiracy theory is still a conspiracy theory
bumblebea come on, it’s so obvious they’re together
paddockgossip
Liked by f1wagupdates, y/nupdates, and 113,896 others
paddockgossip in a video posted to tiktok and since deleted, toto wolff and y/n y/l/n showed the world their relationship is less than professional as they partied it up while celebrating a mercedes double podium
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f1wagupdates jaw = dropped
redflagged who needs soap operas when we have f1?
f1wagupdates too true 😭
y/nupdates can’t say that i saw this coming
y/nupdates but can we talk about how amazing y/n looks?
dailymail
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dailymail After their relationship was revealed in a shocking video just a few weeks ago, supermodel Y/N Y/L/N and Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 team principal Toto Wolff kept the surprises coming by taking their two secret children out for a day by the beach. We’re sure everyone wants to know how and why they kept this hidden for so long
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yourusername i hope you have as much fun dealing with our lawyers as you did paying people to stalk my husband and i while we were just trying to have a nice time with our kids
f1wagupdates you dropped this, queen 👑
f1wagupdates wait did you say HUSBAND?
y/nupdates excuse me while i scream
y/nupdates still screaming
y/nupdates still screaming
y/nupdates and still screaming
y/nupdates now that my mental breakdown is over, their little family is adorable
f1wagupdates
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f1wagupdates Y/N Y/L/N was joined by husband (my brain has yet to process this) Toto Wolff at the People’s Choice Awards for their first official outing together
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hamilfan44 they look so good together 😵💫
formulafashion that dress with the necklace and red lips is everything
werewolff and toto in a tux 😍
bumblebea i get it now
bumblebea sorry for saying your wife was dating your driver. please don’t kill me, toto
#f1 imagine#f1#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 fanfiction#f1 x reader#f1 x you#social media au#toto wolff#instagram au#instagram imagine#toto wolff imagine#toto wolff x reader#toto wolff x you#toto wolff fic#toto wolff fluff#toto wolff fanfic#toto wolff blurb#mercedes amg f1#f1 instagram au#instagram edit#f1 blurb#fake instagram#f1 fandom#f1 fluff#formula 1#insta edit#f1blr#f1edit
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*Sigh* Wednesday is trending again, which means that the kiddos out there are gonna start drama again. Please just stop; this is one of the reason why the show was called cringe a year ago and people left the fandom.
1- You have the right to ship Wyler et Wavier. This is your opinion, your preference and I respect it. So why, mainly Wavier shippers, are suddenly back at attacking Wenclair shippers for no reason at all on Tumblr, Twitter and basically every single social media? What are you, 12? Is this hard to respect people's opinions???
2- Stop shipping Jenna and Emma. I'm almost certain this is the reason why we can't tag Emma on Instagram anymore. Ever since the Chappell Roan videos got out, a lot of people have made weird comments saying that they kissed or that they were on a date. Just stop. Stop shipping real people, or do it but silently. All of this is making them very uncomfortable and it's just direspectful to assume things like that. We just got them back, don't make Jenna delete Instagram again and make Emma disappear from it once again.
This just needed to be said. Just be respectful, it's not that fucking hard, goddamit. And when I mean respectful, I mean towards the fans AND the actors. Don't make Wednesday cringe again. Stop being kids and attacking other fans for absolutely no reason because you can't accept the fact that they don't ship your ship. And stop using the fucking Wenclair hashtag to say trash about them, this is getting annoying.
This is also addressed to, like me, Wenclair shippers. You should respect Wyler and Wavier shippers as well; don't give the bad example. Everyone is free to ship the characters they want, and this without any drama or violence. Just be kind to each others, it's not that hard.
Thank you for reading this. If you disagree, then just shut the fuck up because I don't have time to lose arguing with immature people on social media. I'm writing this as a reminder to respect Jenna and Emma and the fans, that's all. Y'all seriously needed a reminder.
Also, don't make Tumblr toxic. I already left Instagram and Twitter because people in here are the most toxic ever, I always loved Tumblr because people were nice, but for a week mad Wavier shippers started posting and insulting which is extremely annoying. Oh, and I also had to turn off my anonymous asks because I got very weird questions from probably bots. Don't make this app bad too, it's basically the only good one left with Pinterest.
I suppose that's all. Goodnight. And don't fucking come at me for saying this, because everything I said in here is true and I am just trying to remind people to be nice, not cause any more drama. If you say something mean here, you will be blocked immediately because, as I said, I don't have time to lose arguing with kids who can't respect an opinion.
Goodnight 🤍☮️
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My Work on Archive Of Our Own
Please ignore if me gushing about the reception of my fics is irritating. I understand there are some people who genuinely hate when fanfic writers do this, so I'm putting it under the cut so you don't have to see it!
(And fair warning; if this irritates you and you still decide to click 'keep reading' and you then decide that I am obviously up myself so I deserve a hate anon or several, I need to preemptively remind you that I gave you the choice not to engage. You will be blocked and I shall call you a silly little guy if you do this.)
I also would like to make this an invitation to anyone who wants to share their proudest stats, or a nice comment they got, or even just something they are really really happy about in having written their fic. (No need to click read more, just go for it and use this as your excuse to show some pride.) On any platform!
Gonna tag the following: @lya-dustin @ewanmitchellcrumbs @the-common-cowgirl @the-wonderland-madnesss @marthawrites
@vampire-exgirlfriend @exitpursuedbyavulcan @emilykaldwen @ripdragonbeans @aegonx
Feel free to turn this into a pass-on game, if you like! We should celebrate the things that make us happy, too. ❤️
I've not ever really posted about this because, IDK, I worry about being considered a conceited asshole. I figure, though, that this is my blog and my safe space and if I want to celebrate something I'm proud of then I should be able to do so. Nor am I implying that I believe this is any sort of metric of popularity or superiority, OR that I write for the sole purpose of validation through clicks and numbers. I have very little interest in engaging with any of that rhetoric. NO. It's just a convenient bonus, kinda like how I love my job and the fact I get paid is awesome but not my primary reason for doing it.
Okay, I think I've got the disclaimers out the way? (Can never be too sure with fandom.)
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reads my stuff. Not only on here, but on Archive Of Our Own, which is more or less a place I consider the Ultimate Fanfiction Site (TM). It used to be fanfiction.net for me, but then their ads got annoying and their content ban gross, so AO3 it is! I've read fanfiction on AO3 since I was like 13, and I still find it crazy beyond belief that my work is not only on there, but that it gets any sort of traction at all.
As a little acknowledgement of something I'm proud of, I wanted to document my stats on my big series, terms of endearment, as of June 2024. It is by and large the biggest project I have ever done, and I've poured countless hours of researching, writing and editing into it.
darilaros (princess)
Words: 48,843 Comments: 254 Kudos: 801 Bookmarks: 111 Hits: 21,971
gevivys (beauty)
Words: 52,147 Comments: 578 Kudos: 2,965 Bookmarks: 490 Hits: 106,019
dōnus riñus (sweet girl)
Words: 58,775 Comments: 660 Kudos: 3,414 Bookmarks: 635 Hits: 141,339
ilībītsos (little slut)
Words: 62,725 Comments: 556 Kudos: 1,880 Bookmarks: 289 Hits: 99,939
ñuhus prūmȳs (my heart)
Words: 104,063 Comments: 1,188 Kudos: 2,274 Bookmarks: 368 Hits: 110,356
jorrāeliarzus (beloved) (ongoing)
Words: 38,451 Comments: 234 Kudos: 454 Bookmarks: 86 Hits: 16,208
That makes for a total of 365,004 words; 3,470 comments; 11,788 kudos; 1979 bookmarks; and 495,832 hits. Jesus Christ.
To everyone who kudos'ed, commented, bookmarked, subscribed or even just clicked on the link to the fic, thank you very much. This series has grown and grown, not just in my head but also in audience. It's given me so much encouragement and support in my writing, and a feeling like maybe I am decent at this? I don't know. I used to write when I was a kid, but I stopped during high school. Rediscovering the joy of it hasn't just been rewarding in terms of having fun with it, but also in discovering that there are people who genuinely want to read what I'm putting out. I've spent a lot of my life feeling powerless and silenced, so this really means so much to me.
I am going to keep on writing for as long as I possibly can, because I genuinely haven't found a hobby as long-lived and fulfilling as this.
Thank you. I'm so very lucky. I'm so grateful. I love you all!
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THE LOVE LASTS SO LONG (5)
In which ollie and aubrey text for the first time
series masterlist
★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★
whitejadetigermovie posted
whitejadetigermovie our stars at the premiere!
WHITE JADE TIGER OUT IN THEATRES NEAR YOU
tagged: dallasliu, aubreyyang
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aubreyyang WOO HOO LET GO!!!
dallasliu so proud of everyone who helped make this happen
username1 wow they look so good
dior.n.goodjohn YES MY BABIES YOUVE SLAYED SO HARD
-- aubreyyang ILY DIOR
CNO MEDIA
NEWEST ARTICLES
White Jade Tiger, the newest historical drama premiered January 20th, 2025 at the TCL Chinese Theatre. The event was gorgeous with contemporary art featuring Asian artists. CNO media managed to snag a couple of interviews. View them down below.
Clip: An interviewer smiles at Aubrey, and she greets him with a wave and an excited grin.
I: Hey, it's great to see you!
A: Thanks! It's so nice to see everyone here to support the movie.
I: Speaking of the movie, are you surprised by the success?
A: Honestly, yeah. Very much, actually! Especially with a predominantly Asian cast, not a lot of movies like White Jade Tiger get so much traction. John, our director is an absolute genius. I learned so much from him.
I: Yeah, very true. Crazy Rich Asians was a complete hit. Anyways, congratulations! I just have a few questions for you.
A: Ooh, okay!
I: Alright. What is your favourite Asian snack?
A: Definitely boba. Does that count?
I: Haha, sure. What was your favourite scene to film?
A: Um, I think anything that was in the nature. I love B.C..
I: What was your go to entertainment on set?
A: (laughs, and flushes slightly) I watched a lot of Formula 1 and 2 on set. I got to go to the Monaco Grand Prix like what, four months ago? It was super fun.
I: Would you like to go again?
A: Well, yeah, of course! It's Formula 1, who wouldn't want to go? (smiles and shrugs)
I: Well, if anyone wants to sponsor her...
A: (looks and points at camera) You heard it here! (giggles)
I: Thanks for your time Aubrey, enjoy the night.
A: Thank you! I hope you like the movie. (waves and starts off towards the next press interview)
aubreyyang posted on their story
Caption: White Jade Tiger premiere! Go check it out in theatres near you 🐅
olliebearman replied to story
hey! congrats on the movie 😁
aubreyyang
hi and ty :)
olliebearman
it was really nice meeting you in monaco
aubreyyang
yeah! I had so much fun hopefully I can come to another race soon
olliebearman
let me know if your coming and we can get together w Charles and alex
aubreyyang
for sure ☺️
I need to head off to bed, but see u soon!
olliebearman
goodnight 😴
aubreyyang posted
aubreyyang coming soon...
liked by olliebearman, cnomedia and 662, 173 others
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user1 UAHEHKFN DIRECTOR ERA WHAT WHAT WHAT
dior.n.goodjohn can't wait 🤫
-- aubreyyang hehehe
alexandrasaintmleux text me rn!!
-- aubreyyang yes ma'am!!
-- smoothoperatorrr55 their friendship means everything to me MOTHERSSS
dallasliu working hard or hardly working
-- aubreyyang shouldn't u be on set rn go get that bag
-- user2 theyre so sibling coded
-- daubrey009 NOOO
-- f1girlypop sorry y'all after that vid w ollie theres no way
ACTORS NEW E-MAGAZINE
AUBREY YANG'S DIRECTING DEBUT
Aubrey Yang, Hollywood's sweetheart at age 18, announces her directing debut with short film Pelt, a coming-of-age story discovering the complexities of femininity and identity. Attending New York University as a film and classics student since age 16, the former of her majors is coming to use as this film started off as a finals project.
"It's so crazy," Yang tells us over coffee, "that my school project is being bought out and brought to Hollywood". The young actress turned director "loves acting with [her] whole heart" but working behind the camera certainly has intrigue.
Filming took place over the last five months, only weeks after her movie with up and coming star Dallas Liu premiered. Her success is astounding: she has won more awards before she can legally drink than most people in this industry do in their whole careers. Maybe another award is coming for this young star, only in the creative category.
dior.n.goodjohn posted
dior.n.goodjohn Pelt has been nominated for Best Short Film and Best Screenplay for London Film Week!
I am so honoured to work on my best friend's debut as a director and screen-writer. There are no words to describe seeing someone so passionate for something they do and be recognized for it. This film is our baby, so go watch it, out now on multiple platforms!
tagged: aubreyyang
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aubreyyang when I asked you to play este in the film, I knew you would kill it. The insane vulnerability and dimension you brought to the character and screenplay is the only reason we're being nominated. you have exceeded my expectations for my finals project, and helped me bring my vision to life. London here we come baby ❣️
-- diorrrdear IM GOING TO CRY I JUST WATCHED IT AND ITS SO GUT WRENCHINGLY SAD AND ANGSTY
-- user1 "Hollywood never writes complicated female characters" UR WRONG BC AUBREY YANG IS HOLLYWOOD
dallasliu ate 🍽️
-- dior.n.goodjohn 4 + 4
user2 literally no one cares stop pushing this narrative of being a woman is hard like shut up u don't even deserve the nominations
-- aubrollielovess who?
-- user2 ?
-- aubrollielovess who tf asked u get outta here
olliebearman posted
olliebearman Home race this weekend, feeling like P1 🫡
tagged: scuderiaferrari
liked by kimi.antonelli, aubreyyang and 699,007 others
user1 photo 2 is so slutty he knows what hes doing
-- user2 he turned 20 got a f1 seat and is living the life I too would be a little slutty
scuderiaferrari sliverstone circuit you never disappoint ❤️
smoothoperatorrr55 MY PIPELINE AUBREY IS GOING TO BE IN LONDON
-- user3 stop ur embarrassing urself
kimi.antonelli 💪
user4 hes doing so well for his first year on the grid PROUD OF U BABY BEARMAN
★・・・・★・・・・ ★・・・・★
Taglist: @callsignwidow @honethatty12
© sweetteainthesummerx.tumblr. all rights reserved. unauthorized copying, translation, or claiming of my writing or any works as your own is strictly prohibited.
#f1 drivers#f1 smau#f1 x reader#formula 1#ollie bearman#ollie bearman x reader#ollie bearman x you#social media au#charles leclerc#smau#f1 imagine#ollie bearman imagine#ollie bearman fluff#ob38#f1
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gunna have a video of me feeding my feedee up on my onlyfans soon. i’m thinking about starting it back up while i take a break from college because it was kind of empowering to get to own my kink in such a way. I also enjoy sharing that side of myself with all of you. subscription price will be between $8-$10/mo since my feedee is going to be collaborating with me on certain pieces of content. i will maybe begin gaining again once i get my health back in check, we’ll see. i want my muscle mommy build back, and to get that back i’ll have to pack on some weight. so we’ll see what happens with that. ;)
in the meantime and between-time, stay safe. especially on the internet. all of my old rules still apply for messaging me, but i will gradually get back to making regular content and posts. now that i am taking a break from school, i’m working more, but I also have free time on my hands when i’m not working. it feels really nice to get back into the swing of things. I’ve missed you all and I’ve missed the positive aspects of this community.
going forward, i’m just going to block people who talk shit to me or delete their comments (unless it’s of actual importance to discuss). i’m just done engaging with that shit. idk, i’m on new medication that seem to be actually working and i feel stable, so i feel ready to re-embrace this community with open arms.
a special thank you to everyone who continued engaging with me and communicating with me during my break. i appreciate all of your kind words more than you know, and if i didn’t respond to you it was because i didn’t want the answer to “hey how are you?” to be “i’m miserable. how are you?”. but I saw all of you - each and every message, comment, text, etc. - and i just want to say thank you. the people who still proceeded to message me with positivity are the reason I have decided I want to come back.
With all that being said, I hope you will all accept me back. I understand that some of you were upset that I left and didn’t understand my reasonings, but I hope we can reconcile our differences and i can gain your trust again. I’m not the angry person that I became when responding to hate messages, and that also influenced my time away. I could see that my demeanor on this hellsite was changing and I was getting more upset, angry and, honestly, afraid of going on here (let alone posting myself on here). However, that has changed. I’ve been working on being more optimistic and caring less about the negative opinions of others. Frankly, if someone doesn’t like me or my content they should just be an adult about it and either reach out to discuss that or ignore me. If they can’t do that, I believe they are childish and need to get a grip. There are some key things I’ve learned in life that I want to share with people who are as I described above:
- your comfort is not someone else’s responsibility. if it makes you uncomfortable, then don’t engage. It’s as simple as that.
- no one has to cater to your interests. everyone lives on their own agenda. your wants and desires do not take priority over the wants and desires of others. sure, there are some people who will cater to your every wish, but i’m definitely not one of them.
- similarly to above, your desires do not take priority over someone’s health. that includes both mental health and physical health. (death feedism is a thing if you are interested in someone wanting to gain while not caring about their health. this is not a death feedism page and i suggest you go search in the tags for that if it is what you are looking for. I do not want to kill my feedee, nor do I want him or I to gain enough weight to become immobile or at risk in any way. As hot as the idea is to me at times, we are both too active and work in active careers for that to be a realistic possibility for us. maybe someday i’ll get a stay at home job and get really big, or maybe someday he will. only time can tell. sorry for the length, i’m high. i’ll stfu now.
- people don’t care. no stranger online owes it to you to care that you don’t like their body, or that you don’t like this or that. it doesn’t matter because that person does not know you. there’s no point in wasting time caring about your negative comment unless it’s actually useful and constructive commentary.
So anyways, i’m back in business again. gonna post some FA art soon + start uploading to my OF again. I thank any of you who read this far and again I hope you can accept me back into the community.
Thanks,
Nico
#female feeder#ffa#nico speaks#i’ve wanted to say this for a while now#and i’m high enough to not fking care anymore#i’m back babey!!1!1!1!!1!1!!!!!1!1!1!!!!
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✨Weekly Tag Wednesday ✨
i was tagged by @jrooc @stocious @michellemisfit @thepupperino @doshiart @sgtmickeyslaughter @gallapiech @blue-disco-lights @mmmichyyy @lingy910y @pookiebearmick @gallawitchxx @energievie and @gardenerian thank you lovelies!
Name and A03 handle: julissa | heymrspatel
Current Location: on my couch, slowly melting into the cushions. i'm so tired.
Favorite picrew (don't have one? you can skip this or do this one)? these two for sure! i think they capture my vibe well lol one & two
What's one thing you want in a picrew? ah! well, since i often start them i have a list of things that i usually look for to make sure that they're inclusive. sometimes i forget to check for certain things and then i'm annoyed lmao.
but ideally: big selection of skin tones, undercuts, the option for tied hair, short haircuts, different types of hair textures and colors, facial hair, scars, and big big ups if there's an option to change face shapes! THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!
for me though: curly hair and big blushy (and fangs if available)
Favourite thing you’ve created (or seen created) for the fandom? oh this is hard. i'll say, fluffy art: "doesn't matter where we go man", spicy art: "i need you to touch me"
Why is it your favourite? fluffy: because i went crazy with the details. i love that it tells a story. i love the colors i used. i love that pane of them watching the sunset. i love hands - hand on thigh, hand kiss, hand under shirt.
spicy: so. much. skin. i love all the positions i put them in. i love how it's sensual and teasing but you can't really see any of the "action" haha. tongues and chain and bruising. i love hands - hand in mouth, hand on neck, hand in hair.
Did it come easily or was it hard to create? HARD! lmao everything i make is hard to me. some things come easier now, but i really do drag my limp body all the way to the end.
Last ao3 fic you commented on? "keep you by my side" by biblionerd07!
Biggest WIP heartache you’ve ever experienced? ...things beyond mistake. i'm glad most of us are on the same painful page.
Favorite trope or head cannon you like included in a fanfic? i love friends/fwb to lovers and slice of life and outsider povs! also, only one bed or when they get stuck somewhere alone. ooooooh and i LOVE a good texting fic!
Least favourite? eeeh very iffy on the kid fics, depends on the writer. or mpreg. or big deaths.
Secret or surprising kink or trope? idk that anything's a secret? i'm out here giving you guys full visuals during kinktober...
Describe how you feel after you’ve created something new? ah- very vulnerable. accomplished but nervous. i literally post and run away.
Top hype man you have that always helps you get across the finish line: i usually keep whatever i'm working on under wraps for no reason other than i'm self conscious! but @whatthebodygraspsnot always cheers me on and is the most supportive and sends me the most eloquent keyboard smashes to keep a girl going!
It's been a bad day, you turn to the fandom and you _____? scroll through tumblr and, when my brain is cooperating on reading (it hasn't been), turn to my comfort fics!
i'm skipping the tag cause i'm late and i'm feeling weird! but i hope everyone's having a nice night/day/time zone!! 💙
#why did i talk so much? like what the fuck?#i've just been painfully awkward all day. from the minute i woke up.#weekly tag wednesday
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I just wanted to come on here and make a little celebration post because Maybe Loving You is Dangerous has officially hit 100 kudo's! That number is like genuinely insane to me because I was expecting it to get like 30, max. I cannot believe it oh my god. I'm so grateful for everyone that has read my fic so far, that has left a kudo's, that has left a comment. It all really means the world to me, thank you so much. I truly wouldn't have been able to do any of this without you guys. I'm so happy you enjoyed the story so far, and I'm so excited for what's coming next because I get to have some fun. I hope you guys will like it! Now, surpisingly or not, I am very bad at talking about myself and my accomplishments. And since it's my celebration post I get to do what I want. Today that is being nice to some other writers. So I decided to leave a little note to the authors that inspired me to write and actually publish this fic under the cut. (So if you got tagged, that might be why). Feel free to read these notes if you want to, it's truly just me being an insufferable fanboy. If you did not get tagged, but we are mutuals (or friends) just know that you might have also had a role in the inspiration and motivation departments of this fic.
A note to @halfratsalready: I'm sure this comes as a surpise to no one, and I warned you I was going to tag you in something. But yeah, being very real and sappy with you: you're like one of my biggest inspirations for this. I was, and still am, absolutely enamored by the Lose Yourself series. I honestly feel confident enough to say that its my favourite Just Dance fic, ever. It's genuinely so well written and you executed everything so perfectly. I loved inserting it into my weekly schedule and I felt so inspired to write afterwards. I'm going to be a little sneaky and say that the whole reason I started even thinking about possibly writing a pre-canon fic. So truly, MLYiD owes Lose Yourself it's life. I joke around sometimes and call you my target audience, but honestly? You are. Everything I write is with your enjoyment in mind. I really do catch myself thinking "I hope Oboe likes this" while writing lol. I will forever be your nbr 1 fanboy, and I am so glad that we're friends. I wouldn't have it any other way.
A note to @libra-cant-just-dance: Hello there! You're the only one in here I haven't talked to, but I still wanted to tag you and tell you how much I love your fic. The Tainted City was such a great fic. I loved the plot and your story telling and the way you describe things is just so amazing. I really look up to it. The Tainted City was a bigger inspiration for my other fic than for this one, but honestly without it I doubt I would have ever started posting fics. So really, I owe you one at this point. Your fics are amazing and I cannot wait to see what you end up doing with Mirrored Walls!
A note to @lightning-and-sparks: Thorns was the first Just Dance fanfic I have ever read, and it will always be one of my favourites. I genuinely enjoy the story and you're such a good author as well. I'm so glad it's back and that I get to read weekly updated for it again. As you know, it is a very big inspiration for MLYiD and I might have accidentally stolen a few things from it but that was all in good faith and because it was all so good that I just had to. Keep it up, I need infinite Throns content (please.)
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Just saw you're post about the some people on the pro endo comunity being agressive. And I've actually have had the opposite expirience.
The anti endos in my life irl and online are kind of really mean?
I want to have a pro endo account but I'm scared of being harassed, fakeclaimed, etc. A lot (not everyone) of the people who are anti endo are so aggressive, and I'm not in a state where I can really receive that.
Any words of encouragement or tips?
Thank you, have a nice day!
gah, memory issues so we can’t recall what post exactly you’re referring to, sorry.
here are our tips for running a pro-endo account, or some sort of account where all system origins are accepted. it got kind of long and heavy, so we’re putting it under a cut.
1) when you first set up the blog, before you’ve made any post at all, go through some of the anti-endo tags and block those users from your new side blog. some tags to trawl/search through are “#anti endo,” “#endos fuck off,” “#endos aren’t real” and “#endos are trash.” just a heads up, you may see some violent, harmful, or potentially triggering posts in those tags. if you have the energy and capabilities for it, preemptively blocking a lot of users may save you some pain and difficulties down the line.
2) you may very well be harassed or fakeclaimed by running this account. we have been fakeclaimed by others on this blog, and have had users block evade, follow us to our personal accounts, and try to purposefully trigger us. it’s been rough, but this is one of the risks of running an inclusive blog online. some things to keep in mind:
- you can block any user who sends you anonymous asks. just hit the three dots at the top right of the ask page and hit “block anonymous.”
- having anonymous asks turned off entirely could greatly reduce the potential for you to receive hate and unkind messages. personally we like to leave anons on since lots of folks prefer to send asks anonymously, but if you’re worried or nervous, you can definitely turn them off.
- delete any negative comments on your posts as soon as you notice them, and block the users who make them from your side blog. we do this to help keep our posts positive.
- if any asker threatens to dox you, sends you gore or purposefully triggering content, won’t leave you alone, or is block evading, report them to tumblr. we have had to do this before, and tumblr’s been pretty good about banning genuinely harmful or dangerous users.
3) don’t pick fights, don’t cross post into anti-endo tags, and leave anti-endos alone. we only use anti-endo tags if we are tagging a post that mentions them for filtering purposes. if you refrain from engaging with those who you don’t want interacting with you, you’re much less likely to face harassment, in our experience.
4) try to remember that everyone posting on tumblr, regardless of whether or not they are pro-endo, is a person or human being. when someone fakeclaims you or sends you hate, it is probably coming from a place of insecurity and low self-esteem. they may be lashing out as a trauma response, or they may be having difficulties regulating their emotions. none of these things are an excuse or good reason to be an asshole to others, but it is something worth keeping in mind.
when we are fakeclaimed, it is more a poor reflection on the fakeclaimers than it is on who we are as a person or system. you know yourself and your system more than anyone else online, so when you are fakeclaimed, try to just chuckle with your headmates about it, let it roll off your shoulders, and block the user.
we hope this helps. if any of our followers run pro-endo blogs and have some advice for this anon, please share it by all means. and when you do make the blog, anon, feel free to drop the @ here so we can follow and boost your new account. best of luck to you with your future endeavors - running an inclusive blog is not always easy, but for us, it has been an incredibly rewarding and beneficial experience :)
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Truly sorry people have forgotten the whole "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything" adage. But also that others are sending you the not so nice things that are being said. Like, that definitely kinda sucks too. Best to you and focusing on things that make you happy!
Oh god everyone's being so nice now I'm so embarrassed.
You're very kind dear. Well the people sending me stuff are only sending me nice things! At least on the main post! But then there will be comments or replies that complain about it - oh I don't like them anymore because they wrote BT, etc.
(Side note - BT stands for BuckTaylor so people using it for BuckTommy - dear GOD please stop. The ship names are confusing enough with y'all picking like ten of them. Please. I am smol and confuséd.)
So the people sending this stuff are well-intentioned. I only meant to explain why (among many other reasons) I won't listen to the (again, well-intentioned) people who say oh my gosh you're missing out on all the kind things people are saying on these other sites! I appreciate all that kindness, really I do and I'm so very lucky to have such enthusiasm and such love for my writing. But I would honestly rather miss out on some of it if it means that I'm protected from seeing the more spoiled or bad faith actors. I have seen very very little 'discourse' over this whole ship war that's sprung up and I'm glad for that, but part of how I've avoided it is by purposefully staying very much in my lane, not go looking through tags, and honestly even deeply limiting who I follow.
Honestly I don't let it usually bother me. 90% of people are so kind and lovely, and I know that the people being angry are not the majority. And I doubt that most of the people complaining even view it as all that deep, they're just venting because they're annoyed and being overly dramatic as we tend to be in fandom because acting overly dramatic is how we do everything around here (hell knows I do it too). I'm just really struggling in my 'real life' and having a bad day so it just kind of got to me, especially since my next three fics are BuddieTommy and I won't be publishing any Buddie until Halloween, and I was feeling kinda low like great, I'm gonna publish these and people will talk shit I guess. Not fun! I gotta say!
But I am and will be okay. I honestly did not expect my inbox to explode the way it just did when I vented in those tags. I, uh, don't expect people to care? that much? which sounds bad but I just mean that I don't expect people to pay all that much attention to me. So it's very sweet that people are sending me love and support.
Thank you for your kindness and thank you to everyone else. I really don't want this to be a Thing so I'm answering all other asks privately. Thank you dears.
#lincoln answers things#fivelittlebirdies#I feel weirdly like I should apologize?#like oh god wait you all are now going out of your way to be nice to me#I didn't mean to draw a ton of attention to myself!#I just y'know had to vent a little and hope that in venting#people will have a real-life example#and will consider being a little kinder to EVERY fic author#seriously I'm okay it's all good I just haven't been sleeping and a big work project is just NOT going through the way it should#and summer depression is a bitch#that's all#I feel like I got a paper cut and everyone's reacting like I broke a bone like WAIT NO I'M OKAY I PROMISE I SWEAR!!! LOL I'm so embarrassed#seriously though remember kids the key to enjoying fandom is to find like ten people you befriend#and ignore literally everything else#I looooooove not knowing the negative shit that's going on ignorance really is bliss and you too can achieve it!
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happy 1 year of r&r :)
i know it's a lil cringe to like. celebrate the birthday of a series on ao3 but r&r is literally my child. my baby. i birthed this series. and you all signed up for this when u started reading my fics thank u
soooooooo thank u guys for all the support i've received over r&r i know it's hard to stay a consistent reader when my posting schedule is entirely non existent but i am so grateful for everyone who's stuck around this long and been with me for this journey (calling it a journey because a year ago i did not have any sort of overarching plot in mind and now we're 17? 18? fics deep and so many things have happened and i'm usually just as surprised as my readers) it's rlly u guys that have kept me going this long
ANYWAY. i rewrote this like 500 times cause i hate being like. overly sappy on this account because it's way funnier to act like a celebrity with a huge ego, but real talk i am so proud of everything i've done w this series & what it's become in the past year
i've been posting my writing online since i was like 10, so we're going on almost 9 years now and i don't think i've ever ever ever received as much support for something as i have for r&r and something about that is soooo special to me??? idk it's just so nice to see a completely self indulgent series become so loved by others, especially since the only other fics i had up before gmm&m were a little more on the "i'm gonna write what seems popular right now" side???
like shoutout to everyone who was here before/around when i started the series because my account was so empty like. 2 fics and one gets updated every 6 months. r&r pulled me out of the trench i fear. it also cured me of my very horrible disease that makes me delete all my fics after 9 months and then completely disappear from a fandom so everyone say thank you r&r
but yeah idk where i'm going with this i'm very grateful for r&r and all the friends i've made and people i've met through it because i was very lonely before i rejoined tumblr and r&r was like. 90% of the reason i made my account
AND SPEAKING OF FRIENDS. thank u to
@spidergrotto & @sapoteylx for being the first ppl i met on here to openly talk about and support r&r which i thought was so so cool even if you guys have become my haters in the past few months i've known you :/ thank u r&r nation u keep me humble and miserable (and i am very thankful for our friendship i think some aspects of r&r would be very different if we'd never met)
& ao3 user classactical because you've been here since like. a month or two into the series i think and i always always always look forward to your comments because i feel like if you comment, i did a good job on the fic LOL thank u for sticking around for so long, even if ao3 has been actively working against you for a whiiiiile
there's a lot more i want to say and a lot of people i want to mention but that would take a very long time and i always feel weird tagging a lot of people in posts so just know if u read r&r we are kissing rn. or high fiving idk whatever floats ur boat i guess
but yeah anyway tl:dr happy birthday r&r i'm very proud of this series & very thankful for everyone who has read any part of it ever u guys are so cool and hot and have amazing taste and i'm taking your kudos and bookmarks etc. as you swearing your allegiance to me and promising me your undying support no matter what (legally binding btw) thank u guys
#r&r tease#ough i cannot believe r&r is a year old#happy birthday r&r you are my favorite child#gonna go post that fic now#or in like 10 minutes#idk i haven't edited anything#stay tuned
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So, with this tiny drama with Hans and sociopathy, I decided to ask a friend of mine, who has ASPD, what he thought of this whole situation with Hans. A bit of history - as you all know, I like Helsa, so back in 2014 when it was revealed that Hans was a sociopath, I went into research mode to try and discover more about this. That is where discovered Sociopath World, a website made for sociopaths to discuss how they navigate the world and to give advice to 'empaths'.
This is where I met my friend - we'll call him BG. BG is a clinical psychologist, film buff, and, as said, diagnosed with ASPD. Now, I didn't directly ask him about Hans at the time, I just asked him about the Hans - Elsa dynamic a lot without using their names (cuz, you know - I'm a shipper lol) we've been friends ever since, and I ask him all the time about film characters.
When I started talking about Hans and sociopathy more recently, I got an anon where someone questioned if I should be talking about this, so I decided to finally ask BG about Hans. I shared with him Jennifer Lee's comments, some posts within the Hans/Helsa tags, and of course recommended he watch the movie. To my surprise, he did it fairly quickly and sent me a reply today.
Few things to keep in mind - BG is very blunt, so sorry if you find some things he says a bit offensive or accusatory. Also, keep in mind (something he mentions as well) that he doesn't speak for everyone who has ASPD. Also, don't worry, he knows I'm posting his response here. I did edit a few things for privacy purposes. He knows this too.
Now, I originally wanted to include his response in my Hans and Sociopathy post, but to make sure that the post didn't end up being too long, I decided to place it here instead. His response is under the read more.
Thanks for contacting me, I always like evaluating people’s fascinations with ASPD. This is a unique one, a cartoon character. I’m usually asked to evaluate Elsa (spoiler, she’s not a sociopath) from this movie, so it’s a nice change of pace. Prince Hans is a sociopath. Let’s get into it.
So what we first have to establish about anyone trying to defend those with ASPD are their motivations. No one defends those with ASPD just for kindness's sake, not unless they have a positive experience with someone in their life (which is exceedingly rare with ASPD). Here, we’re talking about a cartoon character that was first established as a ‘good’ and then turns ‘evil’ for a shocking twist.
From what I’ve seen from this character’s fans, is that they focus heavily on the ‘tragic’ backstory of said character and the end-game motivations they have for him. Which in this case is the fact that they want to pair him up with other characters with their morality not being questioned. From what I’ve seen, that’s all they care about. They see an attractive character that they think has the potential to be paired with another, and they are upset that this attractive character has traits and behaviors that they are opposed to. Look, I know it sounds mean, but none of these fans would really care if the character was not attractive, charming, and easily paired with the female leads. That is the main motivation here.
I’m not saying they are not interested based on the character’s own merits and intrigue, they like to speculate about his past and childhood. But given the most popular depiction is him is with the female leads in a romantic sense, it is very obvious where the fans stand and why they are defensive of him. He’s attractive, he’s charming, he was really nice and chivalrous at first. But the reality here is that they are in love with who he is pretending to be. It honestly looks like the cases I deal with every day with real ASPD and Empath couples. The empath in the relationship is always making excuses for the sociopath, and I have indeed had cases where the empath denies the diagnosis. It’s really interesting to see this in behavior in fan spaces as well.
Now, here’s the thing. I don’t really care about film representation. Most people I know who also have ASPD don’t care either. We don’t really care about the things that empaths place on a pedestal. We don’t care about role models or feeling accepted and represented. Empaths always make us out to be villains or funny anti-heroes because they can’t fathom our behaviors being used for good. It's a reality we face, especially in this day and age when feelings and being empathetic dominate the social world. There is no easy way to showcase a sociopath being a hero within empath standards. Our definition of a sociopath being a hero is getting what they want. Hans would be a great representation if he got what he wanted. Do I speak for everyone? No. But honestly, I question anyone who claims to be a sociopath and actually cares about empath’s feelings towards us, or bases their value on fictional characters like what empaths do. Especially since most people who have ASPD are not even diagnosed, they can’t exactly question a representation of something they don’t know that they have.
Let’s change gears towards the comments the director made. The critique you got was that there isn’t enough evidence to support a diagnosis of ASPD with Hans because the narrative doesn’t explicitly state it and we don’t know a lot about his past; so can’t make a genuine diagnosis. In most cases, that would be correct. However, the director makes it very clear that her intentions for the character was for him to be a sociopath. She wrote him with this intention and made sure to depict him in that way. Thus, we don’t need to see his childhood or even make a diagnosis based on his behavior. He is written and labeled as a sociopath, so he is one. End of story. Sure, we can critique how the depiction was handled, and even the motivations behind making him a sociopath, but it doesn’t change the facts of the character.
I went a little off track here, but I feel this needed to be said first and foremost. Let’s get back to the actual comments. She states that she has a sociopathic mind and that she was writing him based on these traits. She also stated later that Hans being sociopathic was more interesting. You can even see the excitement she has when the person she’s talking to says “he’s a talented Scoiopath” and she says “He’s very talented!” She loves this aspect of him. It's her pride and joy. She obviously thinks sociopaths are interesting and cool, to the point where she thinks she may have some traits. Here, we know her intention behind it was romanticization. Is it a bit weird? Yea. It’s weird. She's romanticizing a disorder so it's always weird. However, the depiction was still fairly accurate. Cartoony and villainized, but accurate.
Which I guess leads us to the actual depiction. He’s a very typical Sociopath. Not much else to say. He has the sociopath stare, he mirrors behavior, he hates that his brothers dared to ignore him, he jumps into danger without a second thought, and smiles when he’s about to commit murder on Elsa. It's kind of funny how accurate he is. It’s like watching a comedy show where they say something relatable and you can’t help but laugh. The director says that her stand-out moment for him was when he questions Anna’s comment of being ‘just her’. For me, it’s when he stands up after being knocked out by the blast, without even acknowledging that he’s in deep shit, and just says ‘but, she froze your heart!” I laughed so hard. Only sociopaths would do this shit. “Anna, how dare you. You should be dead.”
And that’s all I have to say. Thanks for reaching out, it was definitely entertaining and a nice break. Have a great day.
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love, lola / chapter nine pt.1 / going solo (5.7k)
Eddie’s arrived in California, leaving you behind, to start his new life as a rockstar.
thank you for 1.2k of you kind angels!!!??? and thank you guys for your patience, life has been hectic with work and school and after the anniversary of eddie’s death (but not in this fic baby) i thought fuck it imma post what we got for chapter 9 - I hope it’ll all be worth the wait
a/n: sex drugs and rock and roll - no fr there is graphic sex here
series masterlist / follow #enam3l love lola for instant updates / my other work / now available to read on AO3!
comment for tag list. requests open for prequel stories.
California is too fucking hot. That is what Eddie Munson has learnt since moving. Far too hot for hair like his and definitely far too hot to stay hidden behind the safety of his leather jacket. After years of the mind numbing mundanity of Hawkins, Eddie was propelled into the fast pace L.A. mindset. Each morning for a moment his heart hammered, wondering where he was until the palm trees outside the window reminded him it definitely wasn't Indiana. The apartment the record label had set him and rest of Kraven up in was definitely not the trailer - maybe the size of every single one in the park combined.
So far, everyone had been nice; a niceness you're not usually privy to when you're known as 'The Freak'. Kraven were excited he accepted the offer and their label and manager had heralded him the hero of the hour. But a nagging part of Eddie couldn't ignore the feeling that this wasn't really his band, he was a replacement. There was a brotherhood between the bandmates long before his arrival and it's hard to ever truly assimilate with a bond like that. Regardless, he was there, escaped the confines of his small town and now living the dream of becoming a rockstar. This was always the fantasy, wasn't it?
September 2nd 1986
For the first time in his life, Eddie is sat in a real life, high tech, actual recording studio. A far cry from Gareth’s egg box insulated garage. An egg shaped chair swallows him whole which feels tediously symbolic of his time so far in California. Everything is much bigger than him. As the band and producers play him the demos they have already, with hopeful looks on their faces, he resorts to anxiously twisting the rings on his fingers. They're a tangible reminder of home. He thumbs them in order. Skull. Pig. Cross and bones. Mom's. But now there's a new edition - yours.
It made its way onto his finger as you said your final goodbyes in the airport terminal and it hasn't left since. Between runny noses and weepy eyes, Eddie frowned as you withdrew from a hug that had already lasted several minutes (which was still not long enough).
'I have something for you, Teddy,' you confess as you sift through your bag.
'You already threw the party, sweetheart. Whatcha wasting money on me for?' He sighs.
The protests were not what you wanted clearly as he's met with a silencing finger until you finally found what you were looking for. Now you chew your lip anxiously, fumbling with a little velvet pouch.
'It's not for going away... it's - well, I gathered, this will be the first time since we met that we've not spent our birthdays together...'
Eddie's stomach drops, he had not gathered that. 'Oh...' he murmurs.
'So, I thought I'd give you your present now. I guess. If that's okay?'
Totally thrown, he only blinked and nodded. Taking his hand, you lay his palm out flat and shake the pouch until Eddie hears a little clinking, then feels cool metal on the skin.
'It's the big 2-1, y'know. I wanted us to have something special. I couldn't think of anything to buy. But, I - uhhh - I could think of something to make.'
Finally, he moves and inspects your gift closer. Two silver rings, perfectly imperfect. Carefully, he spins them round until he can finally see what the feature of them is. It causes him to gasp and you to resort to nervously stumbling over your words.
'I was taking a silversmithing class at college and I was thinking about your rings and then I thought I could make you one. Then I thought I could make us some. Matching ones. For our birthdays. It's silly. They're not professional or anything. Y'know a little wonky. Just thought it'd be nice...'
Eddie balls his fist up, clutching the precious contents and closes his eyes to swallow up a sniffle. One ring has E for Eddie on, the other identical except for your initial.
'Wonky? Y/N... they're perfect. This is, holy shit, this is the most amazing thing anyone has ever given me...'
The compliment makes your insides fizz.
'Are you sure? I mean, I was gonna tidy them up more but when you were in hospital. When I went back to New York... I brought them back with me. Just incase... y'know...'
Just incase Eddie never made it to his 21st is the unspoken ending to that sentence that you both understand. Eddie takes your hands in his and squeezes. The rings shielded by your conjoined palms.
'Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you... put it on me! Go on! Make me your little hand model m!'
As usual, Eddie's theatrics ease the tension and force you into giggles.
Carefully, you slide the E ring over Eddie's finger. He prompts you to place it on the bare one next to where his Mom's old ring resides. Then, he takes your hand and delicately places your own ring onto the matching finger. To the rest of the people in the airport, it must've looked like the exchanging of vows between two lovers being forced apart. Really, they wouldn't have been entirely incorrect.
‘So what do you think man?’
Eddie breaks his daze to be met with a room of hopeful eyes.
‘Huh?’ He murmurs.
‘The demos!’ The manager Chris encourages, ‘for the album! These are what the guys have put down so far. Love em?’
Eddie’s brain stumbles over what will be the correct thing to say. The songs bad? God no, there was a reason the bad were signed. But were they what he would do? Not really. It was clear they were angling as more commercially marketable, less niche like metal, a more digestible rock. Taylor was more Iggy than Ozzy.
‘Yeah, yeah they’re tight,’ Eddie scrambles, praying he didn’t appear rude.
Already though, his brain has calculated how he would rearrange each element of the songs, what lyrics he’d tweak, how he’d make it his own - but he has to remind himself that’s not why he’s here.
‘We want a single out for Christmas. Make a big splash over the festive season. Hit the talk shows, the radios. Get you boys out there. Build up the hype for a Valentine’s album release,’ Chris cheerfully continues.
‘But don’t forget, none of these songs are finalised,’ a rough voice from the corner of the room interrupts Chris’ ambitions.
Riz, the producer, sits like the mastermind behind the console in his swivel chair. His skin weathered and tanned, littered with scribbled tattoos not unlike Eddie’s own. Tired eyes that have seen too many young ambitious bands and their teams come in and out of his studio, are concealed by thin tinted glasses. A mane of salt and pepper curls, some formed into dreads cascade past his broad shoulders. A real old school rocker.
‘Oh well, yes, yes of course,’ Chris fumbles, ‘plenty of room for your inputs Eddie.’
It’s clear Chris is entirely intimidated by Riz’s presence. His clean cut Armani suited self a direct contrast to the producer’s rough look. One is the face, the other is the real brains.
‘Speaking of, Chris, why don’t you take Taylor, Spike and Keith to lunch. Use that gold card the label bestowed upon you whilst me and Eddie get accompanied?’
Eddie shoots round to look at Riz, used to his name being called out as the signal he’s in trouble. But when he meets his eyes, they only offer warmth and a small smirk; something Eddie had yet to see him crack so far.
‘Oh are you sure?’
‘Yeah, yeah, lots of technical things I need to adjust now Eddie is with his. Go on,’ Riz practically shoos Chris out the door. The rest of Kraven following suit, amused by their manager’s nervous babbling.
Finally, once the door is shut and locked, Riz returns to his throne, spinning round and looking at Eddie expectantly.
‘Well, come on then,’ he chuckles, smacking his tattooed hand against a leather chair beside him. Eddie immediately scrambles over, Sweetheart safely in her case towing behind him. There’s an awkward silence as Eddie toys with his guitar case, desperate to avoid Riz’s piercing gaze.
Nonchalantly, Riz swings his feet up onto a nearby stool and reclines in his chair.
‘So… you hate the songs,’ he chuckles.
Eddie finally looks up to gawp, scrambling for a response.
‘No, I don’t, it’s not, I never said I-‘
‘It’s cool brother. You’re a metalhead. They aren’t a metal band. They’re not your first choice, no sweat.’
Riz, in just a few minutes of knowing each other, has called Eddie’s bluff. The tone in his voice is not anger or judgment, it’s just matter of fact with a hint of amusement.
‘They’re not my first choice either, sound wise. I’m a lot more old school myself, personally. But, fuck, you know what, those boys got more star power than anyone else who’s been brought to me in the last two decades.’
Eddie nods eagerly. There’s a reason he was honoured Kraven had asked him, they were really fucking good and most surprisingly - nice. Riz eyes the boy before him, big brown soulful eyes that scream there’s a story behind them.
‘I think you’re an old soul like me though, Munson. Let me guess… you’ve got notebooks full of lyrics in that case of yours?’
A beetroot blush flushes Eddie’s cheeks, he’s been rumbled and stutters an agreement.
‘And I bet you’ve never shown anyone either, huh?’
Two for two.
‘No, never. They’re all a little… personal,’ Eddie murmurs.
‘All the best stuff is. So what you’re gonna do is get them out and show me who the musician Eddie Munson really is.’
With an eagle eye, Riz combs through the tattered pages of scrawling lyrics. Words dating back years. The afternoon flies by as Eddie demonstrates the melodies he wrote for each with Riz adding his own input.
‘Well, Munson. I don’t think Kraven or the label know what they’ve accidentally come across with you,’ Riz scoffs. His fingers gloss over the stacks of song lyrics Eddie’s unveiled.
‘And you better be marrying this girl you’re writing about. Ain’t heard love songs like this in a lifetime.’
The way Eddie nervously shrinks in on himself over his words isn’t lost on Riz, things rarely ever are.
September 21st 1986
‘TWENTY ONE MOTHERFUCKER’
Raucous laughter and cheers manage to erupt over the booming club music. The fine spray of champagne, more expensive than his trailer, soaking Eddie’s curls. The women that had crowded the booth, struggle to get in the stream of booze. Liquid gold dripping from their open mouths and exposed cleavage. No, this was not the usual Munson birthday set up.
Despite attempting to keep his twenty-first birthday a secret, Eddie had been rumbled. Chris’ assistant Sammy had discovered his impending celebration after going through files. That was spilt during bedroom talk with Spike the bass player who she’d been hooking up with. Spike then mentioned a small night with the boys to Taylor and Keith to celebrate, which was overheard by manager Chris. So now due to Chris’ inability for subtlety, the boys found themselves in an exclusive WeHo club, surrounded by bottomless bottles, scantily clad girls and yes men - all courtesy of the label. Eddie was light years away from where he’d usually spend his evenings round humble drama room DnD table or with lukewarm beers in Gareth’s garage.
After three weeks of locking themselves in the studio when the sun had begun to rise, only leaving well after, the band were finally letting loose. The guys had all told Eddie their tales of L.A’s debaucherous rock’n’roll night life; the secret places where other musicians mingled, where dealers made their money and girls got the memorable nights they went looking for. But so far, he’d yet to experience it and now he was, Eddie wasn’t sure it was for him. A rainbow of pills scattered the table without discretion, he could tell they were far better quality than the shit he used to sell. Servers came with an endless supply of bottles, money no question. A far cry from the gruff, stingy bartenders at The Hideout. The clientele is a far cry as well. The girls that had flocked to their booth looked straight off a Hollywood set. One busty blonde sat on a bewildered Chris’ knee, his eyes desperately trying not to focus on the cleavage that bobbed below his chin. Spike was making it clear he and Sammy weren’t exclusive as a brunette and a redhead sat either side of him as they purred in his ear. Taylor had disappeared into the crowd, ever the life of the party, surely feeling the effects of the pills he’d let fizzle on his tongue. Out of everyone, the only person Eddie felt envious of was Keith.
Nestled happily in the corner of the booth sat Keith and his fiancee Grace, lost in their own little world. The pair had scoffed when a girl had tried to luck with Keith, knowing hell would freeze over before he left Grace. High school sweethearts who had made it work as he’d followed the path of wannabe rockstar. She was no eager groupie or ditzy model, Grace was a lawyer; officially Kraven’s lawyer. Put together, fierce and completely soft on Keith - reminding Eddie of you. Although, they were a real couple, best friends and lovers, exactly what Eddie had failed in making the two of you. When they whispered private jokes or sleepy appeared from their bedroom, his heart panged with envy. Mind racing with questions of how they managed to make it work. Who made the first move? How did they know it was mutual? How did they know it wasn’t a mistake? All the questions he fretted over when his lips burnt with desperation to meet yours.
Eddie’s wishful gaze is interrupted by a sudden touch to his thigh. Eyes wide with confusion, his head spins round and are met with a fluttering pair staring right back at him. The stranger’s fingers tucking rogue curls behind his ear causes Eddie to freeze. A touch too intimate to receive from anyone but you or his family.
‘Your hair is nearly as long as mine,’ the girl drawls. Long nails still trailing up his shredded jeans and now up his exposed bicep. Whether she hadn’t noticed Eddie’s bewildered look or had just chosen to ignore it, the girl pressed on.
‘The boys told me you're the new lead guitar… I think you’re definitely an upgrade, honey.’
Eddie gulps, Adam’s apple bobbing nervously. So far he had been able to avoid interacting with these legendary California girls. Throwing himself into rehearsals with the band and his own late sessions with Riz long after the rest of the guys go home. Women weren’t on his radar. Everyone dull in comparison to the shine he knows radiates off you.
‘Urm, thanks,’ he mumbles, trying to squirm out of her grasp.
‘And he’s a little shy?’ She giggles, ‘sooo cute.’
Eddie’s eyes, wide like saucers, scan the surroundings rapidly, desperate to escape this uncomfortable encounter. He wasn’t interest in a hook up, the thought unimaginable and he definitely didn’t want this. He’s desperate for you more than ever now, wishing for your soft touch, wishing it was your tipsy words being whispered in his ear. His birthdays weren’t for sharing with random hookups, they were always reserved for you. After being separated by your college, Eddie was giddy at the thought of getting to spend your birthdays together again. But now you were torn apart again, now even further apart.
Finally, Eddie spots his opening. The girl leans over to the table to pour another drink, her grip on him loosening. Quickly, he darts up, hopping over everyone’s legs and abandoning the booth as the girl calls after him. Eddie’s feet seem to take him away before his mind is even sure where he wants to go. Hand’s planting on the bar top, causing an unexpecting bartender to jump, Eddie pleas,
‘Is there a phone anywhere I can use?’
The bartender nods, finger jabbing to a corridor beside the toilets. Shouting a thanks behind him, Eddie shoots off in the direction of the promised phones.
Frantically, he punches in a number he’s known by heart for most of his life. Ringed fingers twist round the cord anxiously and the dial tone hums over the vibrations of the club’s speakers.
Eddie’s breath hitches as the other end picks up and fumbling can be heard.
‘H-hello?’ Your sleepy voice croaks.
It’s the best noise he’s heard since he arrived, better than anything he’s heard in the studio.
‘Hi,’ he whispers shyly, ‘it’s me, it’s Eddie. I’m sorry, did I wake you?’
Your giggle makes his stomach churn.
‘I know it’s you, Eds or should I say birthday boy? No, no, it’s okay. I was already awake.’
‘Are you okay? Are you sick?’ He enquires desperately. For a moment, Eddie is sure he hears a hesitation in your voice.
‘No, no, I - urm, you know, just one of those nights. I’m fine! It’s nice to hear your voice.’
Eddie for once is grateful for the distance that separates you for seeing the blush that spreads across his cheeks.
‘It’s really nice to hear yours too. I’m sorry I’ve not been keeping up with the calls, it’s all just -‘
You interrupt before he falls into a spiral of apologies.
‘Eds, it’s fine! You’re a rockstar in training, I don’t expect you to be missing all the fun to be calling me every second.’
‘But, I want to, sweetheart… I wish you were here,’ he sighs.
‘I wish I was too… but this your adventure. This is everything you’ve ever dreamed of.’
Eddie desperately wants to let the alcohol coursing through his system to take ahold of his tongue and confess no, you’re everything I’ve dreamed of. But he doesn’t. Your voice chirps up again, trying to dispel the sad silence that took over the line.
‘So, how’s your birthday? How is being 21? Are you not out and drowning in booze and those Cali girls?’ You’re chuckling but he doesn’t laugh.
‘No, no I’m out with the guys. But, urm, no Cali girls. Definitely not.’
Eddie’s not sure if you let out a relieved sigh or it’s just wishful thinking.
‘You’re out?! Eddie, what on earth are you calling me for!’
Your scolding tone makes him grin. He can picture perfectly how your brows are furrowed and how if you were in front of him your hands would be flailing animatedly.
‘Cos birthdays are our thing. You’re much better than this club full of fuckin’ posers.’
‘Yeah, they are. Am I now? Are you trying to flatter me, mister?’
‘Always, sweetheart.’
The pair of you giggle down the phone. His dimpled cheeks aching from the grin you inspire. As the giggles finally subside, Eddie hears you attempt to disguise a yawn and remembers how once again distance keeps you apart.
‘Guess I should let you get to sleep then, huh sweet?’
‘You should go and enjoy your birthday more importantly!’
Eddie huffs, knowing such a thing is impossible without your presence.
‘I’ll try… I’ll speak to you soon, promise.’
‘Don’t worry about it, Eds. Whenever you have time!’
‘I’ll always have time for you. I’ll make sure I at least call you on your birthday.’
‘You better,’ you sleepily smirk, ‘it’s two days after yours, you’ve got no excuse to forget.’
‘How could I?’
Eddie rakes a hand through his curls, knowing he needs to hang up but it’s too hard to let you go.
‘Get some sleep, sweetheart. I miss you.’
‘Goodnight Eddie, I miss you too.’
The line goes dead and once again the only sound filling his ears is the throbbing base. Trying to replay your words in his head, Eddie flops against the wall. Eyes closed tight as he wishes it was you he was breathing in rather than the cloud of perfume wafting from the women’s bathroom nearby.
It’s only when he can feel a presence beside him does Eddie open his eyes. A woman mirrors his position against the wall but faces him, a wicked glint in her cat-like eyes. Taken aback by her close proximity, Eddie jumps causing her to giggle at his squirming.
‘Whatcha waiting for cutie?’
Eddie continues to shuffle away, the phone your warm voice once echoed out of, now uncomfortably sticking into his back.
‘Was just… just using the phone…’ he murmurs nervously.
‘Oh?’ she cocks her head, auburn waves tumbling, ‘and here I thought you were waiting out here for some fun.’
A slender manicured finger reaches out, tugging at a bewildered Eddie’s bottom lip. He stutters as his brain scrambles for a response. Another awkward round of full frontal flirting from random girls. The thought of supermodel groupies throwing themselves at him was somewhat appealing when he was a raging hormone of a teenager. But even then, you were still in the back of his mind on a pedestal, now you live there front and centre. Eddie recoils from her touch, swatting her hand away.
‘No!’ he surprises himself with the firmness in his voice, ‘M’sorry, not looking for anything.’
The girl scoffs a ‘whatever’, rolling her eyes and flouncing off. Just as Eddie finally feels his body relax, a snigger from the corner catches his attention. A frame steps forward from the shadows.
A man, also in his twenties, grins an infectious smile that makes Eddie feel a little giddy. Shorter than himself, but broader, tanned muscles that glistened with sweat from dancing.
‘I think she’s a little disappointed,’ the guy chuckles.
‘I really was just using the phone!’ Eddie insists.
Gradually the two move closer towards each other, Eddie drawn in by the piercing pale eyes that never leave him. Despite the corridor being much cooler than the dance floor, heat bubbled between their bodies.
‘So… Eddie, are you definitely not looking for any kind of fun?’
October 31st 1986
Now in the depths of autumn, the madness of life had only increased. Kraven had found their sound with the addition of Eddie, days spent mastering their sound in the studio. When out of the studio, the boys sat round meeting tables listening to suits spew corporate jargon about their mastermind ideas for selling the band. That was his least favourite part, hearing his existence and passion whittled down to money making schemes. It’s also where Eddie was forced to tackle the idea of fame. Seeing his name in small print under photographs of the band, plastered in pages of music magazines about the next hot thing. Personally, he found it mortifying but Wayne insisted it was proof of him achieving his dreams, whereas you cackled down the phone at the surrealness of it all.
At the end of the day, Eddie buried himself in sheets of paper, attempting to put into words the feelings that brewed inside. Trying to heal the internal wounds the events of the year had left, whilst being a thousand miles from the people who actually understood. Vocalising the sadness he wished he didn’t feel over achieving his dreams of making it but not with his own band. Then as ever, trying to find an outlet for the love he felt for you that bubbled with fervency in your absence and
with every stolen phone call. Then, a couple of times a week, Eddie would present his lyrics to Riz to make sense of, during after-hours at the studio. A secret project the two of them found themselves falling into outside of Kraven. That was another source of guilt, that his heart and soul weren’t invested in the band in the same way Taylor, Spike and Keith’s were. That he reserved the heartfelt work for himself, letting his real passion erupt during the late night sessions with Riz.
Then there was another output Eddie found for his pent up frustrations about his overwhelming emotions and suffocating new lifestyle. A way to let go in a way that didn't leave him ashamed as if he had betrayed you. The guy at the club on his 21st birthday had opened up possibilities that Hawkins had limited. Small town life was oppressive, he didn’t need the rumour mill buzzing with fresh stories that the satanist Munson was also a sodomist. Whilst Taylor and Spike drowned in girls, Eddie became comfortable seeking out something else in the bars and clubs they’d frequent. It was easier, less intimate. He didn’t need to worry about coy teasing, didn’t need to exchange names and take girls home. Eddie could find release down the back of another guy's throat, quick and hot in dark corners and back allies. He was unsure if his bandmates had realised and was anxious that they’d reject him for it but that was another issue forced to the back of his mind, stored in another box overflowing with anxieties.
Halloween was decided as a good marketing angle for the band. Their name added to the line up of hot new rock bands performing at an infamous West Hollywood Halloween party. Something thrown by a record executive’s tabloid covering daughter that had become notorious enough to be spoken about on MTV. Eddie being no stranger to a costume and outlandishness being second nature to Taylor, the pair had put themselves in charge of putting together the band’s costume.
‘This is pretty hardcore you guys,’ Spike admitted, ‘didn’t think you’d pull it off.’
The four cramped into a backstage room at the venue, getting ready for their performance. Eddie’s tongue stuck out in concentration as he finished painting Spike’s body. All four of them were skeletons. Leather trousers and boots embellished with white paint, creating the illusion when on stage they were void of flesh. Their torsos mostly exposed aside from frankly decorative scraps of leather. Spike in long leather sleeves that covered wrist to arm and left the entirety of his chest exposed. Eddie and Keith both in tight leather waistcoats. Then Taylor, naturally, entirely topless aside from some leather wrist cuffs and mask that made him appear as a devilish gimp. All exposed skin had bones painted on top which was now Eddie’s current job.
‘Of course we did,’ Taylor boasts, ‘you really doubted our little DnD nerd’s ability to put together a costume?’
Eddie splatters paint in the singer's direction. Even if they weren’t his friends from home, his band mates had become real friends. Their bantering is interrupted by the door opening and a fallen angel with a clipboard appearing.
‘You guys gotta be outta here in like a minute, the band on stage are wrapping up and you’re next.’ Her sentence is finished with a pop of her bubble gum and the slam of the door.
After final adjustments to the costumes, the boys file out to the side of the stage. Eddie’s chipped black nails gripping at the neck of his guitar. The usual pre-show jitters causing his stomach to flutter.
‘You good brother?’ Keith whispers, a reassuring firm hand bracing Eddie’s shoulder.
‘Yeah, yeah, all cool, I mean y’know aside from usual pre-show nerves,’ he shrugs. Keith nods with understanding, spinning his sticks - a nervous tick Eddie has come to notice.
‘Damn, you better at this fuckin rockstar shit than me. My heart feels like it’s about to fall out my god damn asshole knowing who’s in that audience!’
Quirking an eyebrow, Eddie warily responds,
‘What do you mean… who’s here?’
Keith’s eyes bulge at his bandmate’s obliviousness.
‘Holy shit, you got no gossip rags in that little town of yours? This party is infamous. It’s some real Motley Crue as shit out there. Full of rockstars fuckin heiresses n shit! Little Miss Clipboard said mother fucking Slash is here!’
Before Eddie can even clear his now dry throat to respond, the sound system booms with the excited announcement of the MC.
‘Next up is rock’s hottest new band… Kraven!’
The cheers are muddled by the ringing in Eddie’s ears, his body seized up until Spike nudges him along. With a gulp, he steps out into the spotlight, trusty axe in one hand whilst the other spins the ring you made him.
Dripping sweat causes the paint to bleed down Eddie’s exposed skin. Unsteady hands grab one of the bottles of whiskey thrusted upon them once the band exited the stage and merged into the party. Eddie’s ear’s still buzzed with the raucous applause and hollering that erupted once Kraven finished their set. Immediately after they were mobbed by names he’d read on the backs of cassettes he couldn’t afford in record stores. Producers, lyricists and fellow musicians, all congratulating and praising him - Eddie the freak Munson, the kid who grew up awkward, poor and unwanted. The change of pace in his life was surreal; after a lifetime of critical fails, he’s been rolling nat20s.
A soft evening breeze provides Eddie with as much needed respite as California weather can. The surrealness of inside was getting to him. Skin sticky from sweat induced by the growing crowd of important people with his name on their tongue. His name. Eddie Munson.
‘Eddie Munson?’
It takes a moment for Eddie to realise that voice wasn’t coming from inside his head. A few feet before him, leaning against the roped barrier a guy peers with his head cock. Soft flopping quaff falling into his curious eyes. A cowboy. Blue wash denim waistcoat with nothing underneath exposing taught tanned muscles. A tanned cowboy hat pushed back so it hangs off the back of his neck.
‘Uh, yeah, yeah… can I help you?’
The guy shrugs, hands sliding into the back pockets of tight jeans and rocking on the balls of his cowboy boots.
‘Nope. Just thought it was you. Saw you perform, you were great. More talented than most of these rockstars,’ he scoffs.
‘Oh, I - I don’t know about that. Thanks, I guess,’ Eddie fumbles over his words, eyes focused downwards at those damn cowboy boots.
With a chuckle the guy responds, now daring to move forward, strong hand adjusting Eddie’s waistcoat.
‘See, you just proved me right. Most of those guys would’ve agreed and definitely wouldn’t thank me…’
His fingers brush over Eddie’s jittering own.
‘Need a light for that?’
He pulls up Eddie’s hand that holds a long forgotten cigarette that remained unlit. Gulping, he nods. The mystery cowboy draws nearer, a zippo and a cigarette for himself materialising from inside the waistcoat.
‘I’m Max by the way,’ he smiles as he takes Eddie’s cigarette and places it into his agape mouth for him.
‘I’m Eddie…’
‘I know, babe,’ Max whispers, his own cigarette in his mouth now.
The tips of both cigarettes almost kiss as the distance closes between the two men. The zippo crackles alight, the flame illuminating a pair of wide chocolate eyes staring at a charming pair of green, both sets of pupils dilated.
‘Holy fuck, I knew you were big. Could see it on stage in that tight ass leather,’ Max groans. Metal scrapes on marble as Eddie Munson’s ringed fingers grip at a bathroom countertop as the man he met moments ago pumps his aching cock. Finally the tension built up inside him from the pressure of the evening was on the brink of dissipating. Huffs of air escape his mouth as Max drops to his knees, long tongue flicking at the drip of precum.
‘Knew you’d taste good as well,’ he smirks.
‘God damn, shit,’ Eddie pants as warm lips caress his tip, he struggles to contain himself. His hand lunges out, grabbing at Max’s soft locks. ‘Shit, my balls, suck my fucking balls.’
Pliant, Max does as he’s told, firm balls popping into his mouth causing wild bush to prickle at his face. After a few luxurious sucks, he’s hauled back to his feet and Eddie’s previously shaking hands are nowhere to be seen as he swiftly unbuttons denim.
‘I can’t be the only one to play show and tell.’
Eddie smirks as he watches green eyes flicker in bliss as his fat cock is released from its denim cage. Tanned to match Max’s toned body with a pretty pink head, fair pubes trimmed neatly. A real pretty boy.
‘No wonder you were so confident,’ Eddie chuckles, ‘knew you had that ready and loaded, huh?’
Max whimpers now he’s the one to receive relief from another’s hand. Eddie tugs his chin to force eye contact. Only a moment can they maintain contact before both men are chest to chest, jerking the other off, a mess of precum leaking between them. Open mouths and tongues flickering at each other, spit swapping. It’s dirty and hot and far too filthy for this fancy carpeted bathroom.
Pushing aside a wail of pleasure, Max uses a free hand to fumble inside his waistcoat until he brandishes a foil square. Eddie arches a brow.
‘Jesus, just, just fuck me before I cum,’ Max pleads.
The desperation makes Eddie snigger but it’s mutual.
Quickly, the man is bent over the counter, ass exposed as Eddie’s warm spit drips down. Groans echo as his thumb circles over Max’s tight hole, slipping in as both men’s dicks twitch in suspense.
‘P-please, fuck me,’ he grunts.
‘Alright, alright. You ready cowboy?’
Moans echo off the tiles as Eddie eases into Max’s asshole. The pair’s eyes meet in the mirror they face until he tops out and his head drops into denim. After a moment, Max begins to wriggle beneath, fucking himself on Eddie’s cock until the message is received. Eddie braces himself, fingers digging into hip bone as he begins to drag his length in and out.
Eventually the air is thick with heat and the sound of skin on skin. Full balls slapping against each other. A ringed hand against a plush asscheek. Feral groans and whines of pleasure. So loud that no head is turned when the bathroom door bursts open.
‘What the fuck is this shit?!’ A new voice booms off the tiles.
Eddie and Max’s heads snapped round to the figure in the doorway. The pair caught, trousers round their ankles and Eddie balls deep in a stranger. The image is too incriminating to be anything other than it was. He was exposed and the sweat from the impending orgasm now runs cold. There was no hiding.
-----
damn who tf at the door? my man didnt even get to nut in the hot cowboy
tag list: @tlclick73 @probablyin-bed @fangirling-4-ever @booksarekindaneat @azydrateanatomy @sadbitchfangirl @fluffybunnyu @big-ope-vibes @beam86 @midnightsgetawaycar @stevieharringtonswife
#enam3l love lola#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x yn#eddie munson angst#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x best friend reader#rockstar eddie munson x reader#rockstar!eddie munson#eddie munson is bisexual#rockstar eddie munson x you#eddie munson series
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The Time
Heya heyaaa
Oof, thing feel really serious when I put a title javagcwwuvwdodj but! It's a proper moment to use a title here, I think. After all, I came to say goodbye.
Yeah, who would think ahfwtwcev
I have been thinking and pondering about this for some months now, since June when That Stuff happened and I had to jump away from here and uhhh it feels corny to say that but a lot of things changed to me and I changed a lot together with everything too.
So, I think it's my time to let this blog go. Not because I feel bad about it now or anything but... I am no longer that attached to tickling to maintain it. It's still cute, playful and comforting, but it is now a part of a lot of other things that are just as cute, playful and comforting to me.
This blog had a good run and I'm incredibly grateful because of it. Six entire years, if I am not mistaken, and I won't delete it anytime soon so the numbers will keep going! For as long as it wants or it is allowed to. All my fics, my headcanons, my rambles and reblogs will stay here because I don't want nor have the heart to delete it. There are such amazing, wonderful and well created arts and stories in this community that deserve all the attention and all the screams.
And! Talking about that! The people! I would like to say the biggest and most heartful thank you that you could ever imagine. Full of big hugs and smiles. I've met awesome people here that I will forever hold dear in my heart. Thank you for the company and the fun and for being so lovely and inspiring to me, all of you. It doesn't matter if we talked for years or minutes, thank you very much. It was so cool! @oliviaischillin1204, @august-anon, @flames-tstuff, @soft--valentine, @honeydew-sillies, @carrie-tate, @trashyswitch, @rosileeduckie, @squeaky-n-blushy, @why-not-a-tickle-blog, @thetickleeraven, @a-fluffer-nutter, @fluffyskies, @just-open-the-fridge-yo, @fluffystuffies, @ijustliketickling, @veryblushyswitch also everyone that is no longer in the community. If you see this, I remember you! Big hug!
And thank you so much for all of you that supported my blog and my work in any and every way. Commenting, reblogging, liking, sending askys about it... It really meant (and means!) a whole lot to me and Def is one of the reasons that kept me creating for so so long and so so much. It was the reason I stopped feeling so self conscious about my English and helped me to try new things and scenarios. Please accept this cookie as a token of my appreciation 🍪 I love to see all of your rambles or just your icon appearing on my notifs.
Also, how could I ever forget the artists and writers that make this community such a fun and colorful space? All the thanks and all the screams and rambles to all of you. Creating is so hard and yet you just come here and do such a wonderful job! How dare! I still think about your creations in my daily life, believe me ahcwgwxwhwcwfcw @ticklepinions, @intheticklecloset, @jettorii, @ssnicker-doodles, @giggly-squiggily, @simplysmilingdrew, @tiklart, @otomiyaa, @verynickelpizzarascal, @fbpanimations and much much more, tbh all the beans that I got shy to tag kjhgfdefghj
Hmmm, I think that this is what I wanted to say. To be honest, writing fics w tickling in it still feels comfortable and cool, so I will probably appear from one year or other to post something and vanish again ahfwtwxwowyq but yeah, can't really say that there will be much interaction besides that. I had that Big Post full of arts and fics that I love that I wanted to post before going but no energy dfghjhgf maybe one day I will finish it and post oh well
Anyway. One of the things that I always tried to bring here was that every creator should have at least one nice comment soooo if ! You think about me or this blog! Consider giving a comment or a quick rb to some artist/creator/blog that you really like, bet it will bring a smile to the bean's face! :D
Okay, okay, enough of rambling. It was incredible. Thank you! Hope you have a lovely week and don't forget to be kind, take care and drink water. Byee <3 <3
#See ya beans <3#BIg hugs and spinning hugs all around#Kanene being Kanene#More than 3000 posts gosh that is crazyyy
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