#and she's jacked as fuck but the game wont let her BE jacked as fuck

[beresaad]

✧ Ashvhalla Lavellan ✧

You know that Clan Lavellan has little by way of gold, but I gave the messengers some of our healing herbs, as Sylaise blessed us with abundance in our recent foraging. [...] — Keeper Istimaethoriel Lavellan

[engstlersbueckers]

E. Engstler NSFW Alphabet

A/N: Haven’t seen anyone do this yet. lets mix it up.lmk what ya think and apologies for any mistakes!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

She’s an angel when it comes to aftercare.Asking multiple times if she was too rough with you and no matter how much you insist you can do it on your own,she always cleans you up. “Uh uh. You stay right here I got it baby.”

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Emily’s an ass girl. I said wtf I said. She’s always grabbin on your ass. Loves rubbing it when you’re cuddling and dont get me started on when she’s fucking you from behind. The sound your ass makes when she’s hittin it from the back drives her crazy. As for you,her hands(quite literally) have a chokehold on you. All she’s gotta do is move her hands in a certain way and your mind just fixates on it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

She’s addicted to making you cum. She wont stop until you’re gushing all over her fingers,tongue,strap,etc. Your taste is something she can’t live without.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory,)

She’s not really super secretive about what she wants to do with you. If it’s something she wants to try she’s gonna tell you straight up.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Oh she definitely knows what she’s doing. The best sex you’ve ever had in your life was from her. The way she fucks is unique,but she can lay it down like her strap is attached to her body.

F=Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggy. Like i said a few letters ago she loves the feeling of your ass bouncing against her.And in doggy,she can still get up in your ear and talk to you,pull your hair,and reach around and play with your clit all she wants.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Not much laughing during the act but afterwards she’ll have you cracking up. Usually saying something dumb like “I hope I wont lookin’ at you all crazy I was really into it.”

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

She always says “The only hair you’re gonna find is on my head” so do with that what you will.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

You mean everything to her so she fucks you like it. She takes her time to warm you up before she even takes off her own clothes.When she’s putting her strap in you, she holds you really close and kisses you while she slides it in. “There it is…That’s my fuckin’ girl.So pretty for me.”

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

She doesn’t touch herself much. Maybe on certain occasions like an away game she’ll call you and you get off together. But not much other than that. She has great self control.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

She’s pretty big on asphyxiation. She loves to choke you. Especially if you’re in front of a mirror,she loves seeing your eyes glaze over in the reflection and feeling how tight you get when she does it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Yall have pretty much done it all over the apartment. But her personal favorite is in the shower.The warm water running down your bodies while you kiss and touch all over each other,the way she presses you against the shower door. Theres something about it thats so hot to her.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

The sounds you make get her so riled up,but it’s one particular sound you make every time she hits your g-spot,it almost bottoms her out she loves it so much.“Oh my god,fuck. Make that noise again baby,I love it.”

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything either of you are uncomfortable with you wont do.Pretty straightforward.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

She loves giving you head.Every single time she does you damn near have to push her off you to get her to stop. The sensation of her piercings just intensifies it too.So anytime shes licking up your slit,or sucking your clit you can feel them<3

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Definitely depends on the mood. If you’re feeling really intimate,she’ll fuck you nice and slow and deep. Taking her time to fill you up to the hilt. But when she’s angry or really fired up,it’s game over for you.She’ll have your eyes in the back of your head within seconds. Just pounding away at you like you’re her favorite sex toy.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

There’s not really much time in either of your schedules for quickies so you don’t really do them often. Unless it’s right before a date or an important event and you have some time to kill.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Both of you agreed to be pretty open minded with a lot of things,including things that involve your sex life.So she’s almost always down for experimenting.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Baby,she’s an athlete. She can go for however long she pleases. She even teases you about being able to keep up after a couple rounds. “No way you’re tappin’ out on me already? C’mon gimme one more.”

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Most of the toys that you own she uses them on you. Of course you can use them whenever you want but she prefers to help you out. Like if its a vibrator she’ll sit you between her legs and keep it right on top of your clit while she teases your breasts and talks you through it.“I know…I know baby. You’re doing so good for me. Makin’ me so proud.”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

She loves teasing you. When she does it she’ll do something real subtle like “accidentally” resting her hand waay too close to your inner thigh. Then when you call her out she’ll play dumb.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

She’s more of a talker than anything.But she prefers when you’re the one getting loud for her. “Dont cover your fuckin’ mouth lemme hear it. Let everyone know whos fuckin’ the shit out of this pussy.”

W = Wild card (a random

headcanon for the character)

Okay..personally I feel like she’s really into phone sex. Like i feel like a broken record when i say that she loves being verbal with you. And she thinks it’s so hot that she has the power to get you off even when you’re miles away from each other. Of course she’ll always leave you anticipating what she’s gonna do to you when she comes back. “Hope you don’t have anything planned cuz once I get home I’m tearin’ that pussy up.”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

She’s not on some wimpy dick shit. When she says she’s packing,she doesn’t just mean there’s a strap in her pants. That thing got some size to it. Her biggest one she has in “the shoebox” is an 8 inch. (It’s also your personal favorite :) )

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

She can be hard to read sometimes,but when her sex drive is high,you can tell because she gets really handsy. Not just the usual touching but she’s constantly grabbing your ass ,kissing all over your neck,she can just be straight up pussywhipped sometimes.

A/N:Yay you made it to the end!! This is my first ever time writing one of these so I really hope you liked it. If you have any requests my inbox is always open. I love youu<3

-S🩷

[knyontop]

I already requested something similar to somebody else but whatever- Could i have some creeps (maybe include Ben, Sally, Toby and Ej) with a new preteen proxy?? And the kid is obviously always tired/sleepy and somewhat depressed. Reader is also just really shy and nervous around people (ESPECIALLY PEOPLE OLDER THAN HER BECAUSE SHE OVERTHINKS AND DOESNT WANT TO MAKE A BAD IMPRESSION). And because of all this theyre really timid dont have any friends and just observes instead? (Whenever theyre alone they talk to themselves but nobody hopefully knows that <3) Theyre really intrested in others but theyre just scared and a loser. (also likes to keep things to themselves so hardly ever opens up) They only talk when being asked a question but when reader didnt understand them clearly they dont ask the other to repeat themselves but just stand like stupid literally the definition of awkward. Very isolant, overfriendly, nervous, silent and obedient. Will listen to you because they want to do a good impression. Oh youre hungry and want food? The kid will bring some snacks if you ask. (Theyre just a lonely scared kid who is trying to do their job correctly and fit in) sorry for yapping :c

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AWH DW ITS OKAY YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT AND MAKE IT PARAGRAPHS!!

Creepypasta x Child!reader

Ft: Ben drowned, Jeff the killer, sally willaims, eyeless jack, ticci toby, and our amazing, beautiful, handsome, reader.

Ben:

・as soon as he meets you he knows your an easy target for shit.

・he likes to fuck with your mind a lot.

・he sometimes feels bad about it because of how vulnerable you are, he has sadistic instincts and protective instincts about you.

・The more Ben hangs around you he starts to town down his mind games.

・he is practically your shadow.

・Ben also likes to teach you how to play games!

・Hes also starting to feel bad when he says thing like “What makes you think I care about you? Your so silly.” Because he sees how upset you get he then apologizes with a “Kid I didn’t mean it you dummy.” (Dw he means dummmy lovingly)

・he likes to think of you as his side kick.

・”Y/N, dont worry ‘bout jeff he dont mean it.”

EJ:

・when he first saw you, he knew you would be a tough case.

・sometimes he likes to spook you just a little bit.

・hes very curious about you even though your like an open book, he wants to know more about you.

・he feels bad for you because your a child, but he wont ever admit it.

・Jack sometimes lets you help him with small tasks.

・he has fatherly instincts towards you.. but also has thoughts about eating you because your like a helpless little lamb and hes the wolf. He likes his victims vulnerable.

・He does not understand his feelings about you see he pushes them to the back of his mind.

・”You want to help me? But your a child..”

・he looks down of you because hes older then you. It’s immature but he can’t control it.

toby:

・he sees himself in you and he doesn’t like thinking about the past so he tries to stay away from you.

・but it also makes him protective over you like everyone else.

・so he doesn’t hang around you, but, he protects you like his life.

・when he actually has moments where he hangs around you he starts to like you.

・like your the only person besides sally who treats him like a human.

・but that doesn’t mean he wont bully you a bit!

・Its more like teasing but like sometimes he takes it to far sometimes.

・his dark humor scares you.

・very clingy when he gets to know you.

・he asks to have sleepovers with you! (He watches you sleep)

・he takes up every opportunity to go on a mission with you.

・hes like obsessed with you at this point. (Platonically)

・he sees you as “his” Defenseless little sibling!

・”H-Hey there Y-Y-Y/N! Want to- to- go on a mission with m-me?” (He will force you if you say no)

Sally:

・Sally loves you so much!

・theres someone here age, and another girl!

・theres barely any girls!! ☹️

・loves hanging out with you and having tea partys and just everything!

・shes a sweetie<33

・she understands your anxiety around people who are older.

・she has that to.

・Sally even lets you babysit Mr. Charlie! (She will be mad at you for a bit if you hurt/lose him)

・just call her and shes there!!

・”Hey N/N!! Want to babysit Mr. Charlie?”

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NERVOUS ABOUT THIS AT FIRST BUT I LOVE IT!!

[theemporium]

https://www.tumblr.com/theemporium/744075840826015744/new-pairing-alert-ok-so-this-came-into-my-head?source=share

nicojack x coach!reader cont.

because do you know how funny it would be for jack to be sitting there, already crushing massively on his captain and desperately trying to keep it hidden so it doesn't fuck with the team chemistry. and oh fuck, now their new coach is hot too! why does he keep falling in love with his superiors!

and just imagine that nico and jack figure out their feelings for eachother first and she's happy for them but now it's solidified in her head that she will never be able to act on her feelings for one let alone both of them because she doesnt want to ruin nicojack's relationship. and there's this subtle rift in between the three not only how it relates to the team but in general, and the boys can't really put their finger on it.

and slowly but surely she's pulling away from them and putting up more of a professional wall between her and them. and it all comes to a head because she's refusing to hang out just the three of them because she's their coach, when a few months ago she would have been agreeing in an instant.

and they wont leave her alone until she gives them a valid reason on why she's been so distant with the two of them when she can interact with the rest of the team just fine. and she blurts out in frustration that she's in love with both of them.

her lowkey adopting some of the younger boys and guiding them instead of letting them kinda scamper about like l*ndy did?

just imagine her looking at luke one time and instantly going "this one is mine" and mother hens him from day one.

new thots

what if after she announces her retirement mrs. ellen hughes reaches out expressing her grief because she was an avid fan, fitting reader's games in whilst also keeping track and watching her sons games

and they become friends who message once and a while and get coffee with each other when they are both in the same area

im thinking her age being 1-2 years older than nico

she got gifted these clips in red at her first game and absolutely adores them: https://www.etsy.com/listing/720551725/small-demon-horns-cute-gothic-devil?click_key=abbeeab68ff6bfcfdafcb77ef8fbfc6e4933215e%3A720551725&click_sum=a0db3b04&ref=user_profile&bes=1

owns these earrings and wears them to a good amount of games: https://www.etsy.com/listing/1351736943/new-jersey-devils-red-and-black-crystal?click_key=9821cc430986fa847ecd522b02d7b5e00dcb5994%3A1351736943&click_sum=135f240a&ref=user_profile&cns=1&sts=1

wears either black or red lipstick on game days, those are the only two options i wont be taking critiques on this thot tyvm

imagine the twitter girlies losing their shit the first time she wears the black lipstick to a game with a red suit

in a similar vein i think she is a winged eyeliner girly

imagine her defending her boys with her full chest when the ref makes an unfair ruling against her team. are you kidding me she would die for these boys.

loves a good team dinner, and makes an unofficial tradition that at least twice a month they have to either go out or someone has to host team dinner

☕

OKAY BUT SHE WOULD ADOPT ALL THE YOUNGER BOYS

like she takes luke and nemec and holtz and she just puts them in her pocket because those are her boys🥹and i just imagine they have this fondness with her where they feel like they can actually talk to her, you know?

like that interview from isaac where he was freaking out about where to park and sit and everything? the reader would be the one to reassure him and she meets up with him early so he can settle down and feel comfortable

and just imagining the team with her after a win? like they just CROWD her in a hug and maybe they just kinda line up and she playfully but affectionately knocks their helmets the way they always do to each other and it's just so🥹

and now i am just sobbing over the found family-ness of it all😭

and don't even get me started on the family skate days where nico and jack are fucking menaces with her and they are basically chasing each other around the rink and dodging other families

and imagine her skating with both their families🥹her just yapping away to ellen and nina when one of the boys comes up behind her to put a beanie on her head to make sure she doesn't get too cold and it's so so so soft

[antlered-angel]

CW: gore, disturbing imagery, mentions of violence, mentions of child abuse

Disclaimer: this is for fun! I’m not doing this to “fix” the stories or designs, these are mostly headcanons of mine. Quick reminder that this character is a child, I better not catch anyone being weird towards them.

Wont you play with her? Heres Sally, originally I didn’t pay her much mind when I was originally in the fandom but holy shit her character is tragic as fuck. Free Sally, girl did nothing wrong and he deserved it.

Onto the headcanons once again! I see Sally as 12 years old and white. She hasn’t explored her sexuality yet as she has zero interest in dating and more interest in kicking Ben’s ass in Smash. However, Sally very much sees herself as a girl so she goes by She/Her.

idk why but I heavily remember her hair being red and not brown. Technicolor kid vision ig. Anyways, I put her in pigtails because they’re cute and based her outfit on dresses I saw at Justice back when it was still around. I wanted to keep the pink outfit because Iconic but also wanted to add more detail to it. She’s barefoot because shoes are overrated and no one can make her keep them on longer than a few minutes. Her teddy bear was my favorite to design since I made it mirror her directly. It’s her security blanket. God save whoever tries to take it from her. Sally still has her braces but honestly does not care much. She thinks they make her look cool.

she’s blind in one eye, it sustained too much damage to maintain proper function. Because she saw that others like Jane, Eyeless Jack, and Ben also had eye issues due to what they’d been through, she formed a “Fucked Up Screwed Up Eyes” club for them so they didn’t feel lonely. The kindness she shows to others is what leads to her being well liked amongst everyone. She’s especially close friends with Ben as they’re the same age and both love video games. She loves to play with everyone’s hair, especially EJ and Nina’s since they have much longer hair and more for Sally to work with. Sally’s favorite adults to hang out are is Nina and Jane since they all like a lot of the same things and the girls are natural older sister figures to any kid they meet. Having a lot of friends also helps when Sally’s power as a poltergeist is at an all time high due to her age and emotions. One day she’ll learn how to control them but for now everyone’s more focused on just letting her be a kid. She deserves a happy childhood after everything that had been done to her.

[dirkspanelcollection]

Pesterlog/Conversation between Eridan and Kanaya from page 2343

not really a panel, i know. but i love this exchange too much not to put it here.

Full log under cut.

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

CA: kan make her talk to me do somethin

GA: Who

CA: your no good connivvin fuckin backstabbin girl crush thats wwho

GA: Overstating Our Relationship Wont Make Me Feel Very CooperativeGA: Its Paler Red Than That Ok

CA: pshhhhhh that is a fuckin laugh and you knoww it evveryone doesCA: so help me out tell her to talk to me i think she blocked me you got to

GA: Why Do I Got To GA: I Dont Got To And Every Time You Take My Help For Granted I Feel Like I Got To A Little Less

CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticingCA: you cant let a grudge go by you wwont stick your busy stem betwwixt so get wwith the program fussyfangs

GA: If Your Slander Werent So Predictable Id Block You Too For Saying That GA: Has It Occurred To You She May Have Blocked You Because You Are Vvery OvverbearingGA: I Just Said That Aloud Now In Your Silly Accent And Had A Private Moment Of Enjoyment

CA: wwho givves a shit wwhy she blocked me or about my fuckin manners come on youvve got a wway wwith herCA: i figure if youre going to auspisticize any twwo brinesuckers wwho sneer at each other a funny wway you might as wwell make it official and be ours right

GA: Your Black Solicitation Just Seems Really Indecent GA: What Do You Want From Her Anyway

CA: she made me somethin per a prior arrangementCA: she wwill delivver it wwhen wwe meet in this game but i dont knoww wwhat the logistics are yetCA: im tryin to connoiter wwith her here but shes blowwin me off again fickle dirtscrapin landhag

GA: What Is It

CA: kan stupid wwhat do you think its a fuckin gizmo to bloww up the wworld or somethinCA: ok wwell not that obvviouslyCA: but somethin thatll kill all land dwwellers wwhat else wwould i be after

GA: Can You Just For A Moment Entertain The Thoughts Of One Untouched By Megalomaniacal Derangement And Tell Me Why Id Want To Assist You With That

CA: wwellCA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionableCA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

GA: Also Speculate For A Moment That Self Preservation Might Not Be What Would Sway My Decision

CA: yeah go ahead and kiss us off but therell be blood on your handsCA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched toCA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps

CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworksCA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at onceCA: you should read up on your history instead of poring through that godawwfull sunny rubbish

GA: Its Just GA: Laborious Listening To ThisGA: Im SorryGA: None Of It Matters

CA: yeah it does its important sorry but the fate of the race and purity of the bloodline is important excuse me for being concerned

GA: I Know GA: But You Really Should Know By Now The World Will End Tonight RegardlessGA: Land And Sea Dwellers Alike Will All DieGA: Because Of The Game We Are About To PlayGA: And I Agree The Fate Of The Race Is Important But Its In My Hands NowGA: All Of Ours Really

CA: huhCA: wwell ok

GA: Really

CA: ordinarily id call bullshit on terrible stinkin bs like that but i knoww you dont really lie about stuffCA: unless its to yourselfCA: but thats wwhy i bother evven talking to you i wwouldnt evven be here SAYIN any of this otherwwiseCA: so did your clouds tell you that

GA: The Doomsday Scenario In Particular GA: No Not Exactly

CA: i got clouds and they dont tell me SHIT they hide nothin but misfortune and monstrositiesCA: fuckin pain in the ass fuckin cloudsCA: so howw do you knoww then

GA: I Have Another Source

CA: ok wwell you are jacked tight the fuck into this thing in so many wways i dont knoww wwhat to say anymoreCA: wwhatevver wwe wwill just play and find out i guessCA: so can you tell her to talk to me anywway

GA: No

CA: god dammitCA: she and me are teammates wwevve got to havve a powwwwoww or SOMETHING

GA: You Arent Actually On The Same Team

CA: fuckCA: fine i get it ill step offCA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that

GA: No Thats Not It

CA: yeah it is your real feelins run pretty awwful RUDDY methinks evverybody knowws itCA: especially that assblood karkat he and me havve you so pegged about that its upright sillyCA: but its cool its totally fine dont wworry ill leavve you alone and givve you a shot

GA: Its Unbelievable GA: Her Patience

CA: wwhatCA: wwhoa wwait wwho

GA: Never Mind

CA: ok wwait did she talk to you todayCA: wwhat did she sayCA: or glub or wwhatevver

GA: Something About Longing To Touch You Indiscretely

CA: WWWWHAT

GA: And That Shes Basically In The Scarlet Throes For You GA: As Deep In The Flushed Quadrant As One Can Be

CA: wwaitCA: did she actually say thatCA: in confidence

GA: To The Letter

CA: can you copy exactly wwhat she said

GA: Absolutely Not

CA: this is bullshit youre bee essing me in some wway awwfulCA: you dont lie but you do tease and ill tranfuse my kickass royal blood out wwith incontinent musclebeast discharge if i wwont knoww wwhen im gettin hooked

GA: Yeah GA: Shes Just A Concerned MoirailGA: Looking Out For YouGA: Thats All

CA: awwww fuckCA: see im tellin youCA: you got to play your cards right

GA: What Do You Mean

CA: if youre not savvvvy about howw you define yourself to peopleCA: you can just splash into the moirail zone before you knoww wwhich wways upwward

GA: Oh GA: Hmm

CA: kan its hard

GA: What

CA: being a kid and growwing up

CA: its hard and nobody understands

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

[spacedhead]

homestuck reread #6: a5a2 part 2

this shit is so trippy and weird and honestly scary im actually scared. the context for the first image is that jade is entering a dream bubble for the first time since her dream self is dead. the second image is daves dreamself looking into the void and seeing like the horrorterrors. and then jade sees them too somehow in the dream bubble.... its honestly horrifying and has me quite perturbed.

it seems like she is also perturbed. and PISSED AWF

IM INCLINED TO AGREE WITH HIM. SUDDENLY HE SEEMS SENSIBLE AND NORMAL I WOULD SAY. I WOULD CALL HIM THESE THINGS.

this is so funny i thought this was just a jade karkat and future karkat interaction but then fucking dave just Appears out of nowhere . so cool

LOOK AT MY SON (do not look at his computer. we wont talk about it) HE IS SO REAL

okay so theres been tons happening but im pretty sure i never got an explanation as to why daves bro is just randomly on LOWAS (land of wind and shade) . and why jack knew he was there. like what are these freaks doing on my sons planet. should i keep calling him my son. gay daughter or thot son

hate these guys but love sword fights so net neutral (secretly cool)

DAVE SPRITE!!! weird that he also knew to come to lowas. i feel like i may be missing some critical information

they are so cute

this is how i talk to my friends on the internet. except maybe with meows

oh god i think this is where everything goes to shit . with umbral ultimatum as the soundtrack. really good song! anyway. gonna watch this now

this is so bad oh man oh god

well. at least theres this. L mans

stop talking to gray text stupid dumb. i think the fact that i find this funny proves that my brain needs to be studied

wow check out this awesome panel. vriska IS the fire. the irons.... are john? irons in the fire. its the thing she always says. i uh i think i lost the metaphor

YESSS HE DID IT HE DID THE [redacted]

what a fucking crazy amount of wind my son has just summoned. that is so much wind. its covering the whole planet!!!!

i love how matter of fact he is about it. like oh this giant swirling vortex covering my entire planet? oh i did that? oh thats cool.

i never read into this before but damn its crazy that feferi is dead here cause the last time we saw her she was literally fine. what could have happened..... ( i already know)

OH HELLYES . HELL FUCKING YES I LOVE THIS SONG

me to your fucking house

dawwwwww

no need to serve this hard??? but pop off i guess....

not you too....

er okay tavros just tried to make jade his girl friend without even really knowing her and he was being really annoying and kind of an asshole while doing it and then she let him down nicely but then vriska was like bro that was the worst thing i have ever seen and was very VERY mean to him about it (maybe even more than he deserved) and then admitted to being the reason why jack noir is a super powerful evil creature now AND BONUS SHE GOT A VERSION OF DAVE KILLED >:((((

i dont wanna dwell on that though because one of my favorite parts of the comic is coming up right now :3

fun fact: "heir transparent" "doctor" and "planet healer" are all songs of john egbert :D

ANYWAY ITS TIME FOR ANOTHER GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!YESSSSSSSSILOVE GAMING !!!! SBURB

8888)

he did it :)

i think this is a good place to end this one . general thoughts right now? huge. pog. things are happening. plans are being formed. i kind of glossed over them but rose and dave are planning to explode the green sun. john just went god tier. and jade is finally in. on the trolls side of things we finally understand why their session went wrong at the last moment, but it seems like even more has gone wrong since weve seen them last? feferi is dead. tavros wants to kill vriska. what could possibly happen next. tune in next time . i dont know when it will be. probably tomorrow. what with all the waiting i'll be doing.

[jackienautism]

Okay no but like I LOVE my lesbians HC for my fav girls and Kaitlyn is my fav but it rubs me so WRONG when the one women of color in this game who canonically shows interest to the other half of the popular MLM ship gets labeled the lesbian in rylan fics and then just?? They don’t even do anything with that. They don’t do more they just go “she’s lesbian she’s not interested in Ryan!!” And it makes me :))))). Like hmmm

NO ME TOO !!!!!!! i love headcanoning my fave characters as lesbians..... and i LOVE seeing it in fandom. but there are just certain times where it DOESNT work and can be seen as just straight up malicious. esp if they themself are not a lesbian lmao

i personally would see kaitlyn as a lesbian bc the way they portrayed kaitlyn and her "crush" on ryan? it just... the chemistry and whatnot is nonexistent to me. and thats at the FAULT of the game! bc they never even bothered to have a scene where its JUST ryan and kaitlyn on screen! its SOOOOO goddamn obvious which side of the """"love triangle"""" they were rooting for, hence the lack of attention they gave kaitlyn and ryan and bc of that, her attraction to ryan could absoolutely be seen as comphet. but youre absolutely right. of course the one woman of color who DOES show interest in a guy is reduced down to a lesbian JUST because she "gets in the way" of ry////lan

literally saw someone refer to ry////lan as a "canon" queer couple and like LMAO I CANT STAND IT HERE. its insinuated YES bc fuck you supermassive but kaitlyn is STILL THERE...... and evne if you choose all the ry////lan directed choices, THEY STILL DONT CANONICALLY END UP IN A RELATIONSHIP. and i dont give a FUCk if supermassive THEMSELVES have said something otherwise. they already droppped the goddamn ball w/ kaitlyn in SEVERAL different ways, so if they did? fuck them for real. kaitlyn deserved better. i could go on and on about specifics if you for some reason dont believe me when i say the game favors ry////lan, so let me know i guess. may just make a post about it regardless. and dont even give me that "im closer to dylan" bullshit

im very glad im not the only person who it rubs the wrong way though, in fact, it makes me very happy that im not being over dramatic or w/e. youre totally allowed to be put off by it bc it IS simply meant to toss kaitlyn to the side and get her out of the way of their WAY more popular MLM pairing

and it sucks bc like....of COURSE ry///lan being a queer interracial relationship is a great step into the right direction and very good, but so is kaitlyn / ryan. ryan is still a bi black man and its SO easy to also make kaitlyn bi. ryan being in a "straight" relationship doesnt erase his queerness. and like? w/ kaitlyn and ryan, itd be a interracial relationship between TWO poc and thats like......barely seen. which is another reason why erin / jamie is so fantastic, especially since theyre a queer relationship on top of it. AND YET. THEY GOT JACK SHIT COMPARED TO EVERYTHING ELSE HUH? GOD. i wont sit here and lie i have yet to get into TDIM and make art / stuff but. im not shocked that they have SIGNIFICANTLY less

but yeah... them not even doing more w/ kaitlyn being a lesbian is HMMMM absolutely suspicious. it rly exposes their TRUE intentions real quick. it just shows to me that they dont actually care abt portraying a lesbian, let alone telling their story

[mrstsung]

Unpopular opinion but

Cyrax being a black woman isn't whats bad in mk12/mk1. Its certainly a take. But the idea isn't bad. It's people forgetting that nrs collectively ignores its canon black female characters. Tanya,jade,and arguably sheeva. And little to no black male representation. Outside of these so called kameos.

Jax is beloved. But he's reduced to the side as a game mechanic than a playable character.

Darrius im sorry. Only a few people know him and he was made during a time where midway was just see what shit stuck to the wall. And no offense. Was kind of weak.

They have tanya but she once again doesn't have anything really good to her other than being a love interest?

Jade is forgotten. And nowhere to be seen.

And sheeva too. I see sheeva as blasian or queer black coded most definitely. Sorry not sorry.

Jacqui briggs anyone?! Hellllooo?! Where is she? Oh right you wanted her to khs,because you're mad that she's not sexualized enough for you. Like you do jade (sorry jade they do you dirty). I dont mind sexy characters but not when the intent is gross. And it makes me sad because she was cool and had potential but shafted because nrs didn't even try.

But yeah. Genderbending and black female representation means jack all shit if you dont actually care about canon black characters. Let alone sidelining canon black male characters. Like they don't get fucked over too?!

This isn't the feminist movement you think it is. This isn't the representation that you want.

Nrs and wb are legitimately ruining good shit for profit.

Just because you see a character that looks like you don't mean it's written FOR YOU IN MIND.

I don't like cyrax n sektor in the new game because they didn't do this for black women. They did this for money. And attention because people are leaving. Period. And they are desperate because their shit is gonna get sold. Look it up. I found out it's true. They are legitimately going bankrupt because dumb decisions. Just like in their midway days.

Ignoring your canon black and poc characters. And changing the gender wont get people to play.

It makes it look disingenuous.

You want more black women in the game? Add your canon characters back and actually do something with them. Also while you're at it. Add genuinely well written black women characters that is voiced by,made by,and for black women gamers in mind.

Thank you.

[pesterloglog]

Eridan Ampora, Kanaya Maryam

Act 5, page 2343

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

CA: kan make her talk to me do somethin

GA: Who

CA: your no good connivvin fuckin backstabbin girl crush thats wwho

GA: Overstating Our Relationship Wont Make Me Feel Very Cooperative

GA: Its Paler Red Than That Ok

CA: pshhhhhh that is a fuckin laugh and you knoww it evveryone does

CA: so help me out tell her to talk to me i think she blocked me you got to

GA: Why Do I Got To

GA: I Dont Got To And Every Time You Take My Help For Granted I Feel Like I Got To A Little Less

CA: wwhatEVVER you are so the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice wwhen it comes to auspisticing

CA: you cant let a grudge go by you wwont stick your busy stem betwwixt so get wwith the program fussyfangs

GA: If Your Slander Werent So Predictable Id Block You Too For Saying That

GA: Has It Occurred To You She May Have Blocked You Because You Are Vvery Ovverbearing

GA: I Just Said That Aloud Now In Your Silly Accent And Had A Private Moment Of Enjoyment

CA: wwho givves a shit wwhy she blocked me or about my fuckin manners come on youvve got a wway wwith her

CA: i figure if youre going to auspisticize any twwo brinesuckers wwho sneer at each other a funny wway you might as wwell make it official and be ours right

GA: Your Black Solicitation Just Seems Really Indecent

GA: What Do You Want From Her Anyway

CA: she made me somethin per a prior arrangement

CA: she wwill delivver it wwhen wwe meet in this game but i dont knoww wwhat the logistics are yet

CA: im tryin to connoiter wwith her here but shes blowwin me off again fickle dirtscrapin landhag

GA: What Is It

CA: kan stupid wwhat do you think its a fuckin gizmo to bloww up the wworld or somethin

CA: ok wwell not that obvviously

CA: but somethin thatll kill all land dwwellers wwhat else wwould i be after

GA: Can You Just For A Moment Entertain The Thoughts Of One Untouched By Megalomaniacal Derangement And Tell Me Why Id Want To Assist You With That

CA: wwell

CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable

CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

GA: Also Speculate For A Moment That Self Preservation Might Not Be What Would Sway My Decision

CA: yeah go ahead and kiss us off but therell be blood on your hands

CA: you could either play along as our auspistice and do a little mediating like you wwere fuckin hatched to

CA: or wwatch she and me devvolvve into fuckin full fledged kismesisses the kind like you dont get once in ten thousand swweeps

CA: you knoww thats wwhat it wwould be there wwould be rainboww rivvers runnin through star systems and all nebulizin like liquid firewworks

CA: it wwill be beautiful and heartbreaking all at once

CA: you should read up on your history instead of poring through that godawwfull sunny rubbish

GA: Its Just

GA: Laborious Listening To This

GA: Im Sorry

GA: None Of It Matters

CA: yeah it does its important sorry but the fate of the race and purity of the bloodline is important excuse me for being concerned

GA: I Know

GA: But You Really Should Know By Now The World Will End Tonight Regardless

GA: Land And Sea Dwellers Alike Will All Die

GA: Because Of The Game We Are About To Play

GA: And I Agree The Fate Of The Race Is Important But Its In My Hands Now

GA: All Of Ours Really

CA: huh

CA: wwell ok

GA: Really

CA: ordinarily id call bullshit on terrible stinkin bs like that but i knoww you dont really lie about stuff

CA: unless its to yourself

CA: but thats wwhy i bother evven talking to you i wwouldnt evven be here SAYIN any of this otherwwise

CA: so did your clouds tell you that

GA: The Doomsday Scenario In Particular

GA: No Not Exactly

CA: i got clouds and they dont tell me SHIT they hide nothin but misfortune and monstrosities

CA: fuckin pain in the ass fuckin clouds

CA: so howw do you knoww then

GA: I Have Another Source

CA: ok wwell you are jacked tight the fuck into this thing in so many wways i dont knoww wwhat to say anymore

CA: wwhatevver wwe wwill just play and find out i guess

CA: so can you tell her to talk to me anywway

GA: No

CA: god dammit

CA: she and me are teammates wwevve got to havve a powwwwoww or SOMETHING

GA: You Arent Actually On The Same Team

CA: fuck

CA: fine i get it ill step off

CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that

GA: No Thats Not It

CA: yeah it is your real feelins run pretty awwful RUDDY methinks evverybody knowws it

CA: especially that assblood karkat he and me havve you so pegged about that its upright silly

CA: but its cool its totally fine dont wworry ill leavve you alone and givve you a shot

GA: Its Unbelievable

GA: Her Patience

CA: wwhat

CA: wwhoa wwait wwho

GA: Never Mind

CA: ok wwait did she talk to you today

CA: wwhat did she say

CA: or glub or wwhatevver

GA: Something About Longing To Touch You Indiscretely

CA: WWWWHAT

GA: And That Shes Basically In The Scarlet Throes For You

GA: As Deep In The Flushed Quadrant As One Can Be

CA: wwait

CA: did she actually say that

CA: in confidence

GA: To The Letter

CA: can you copy exactly wwhat she said

GA: Absolutely Not

CA: this is bullshit youre bee essing me in some wway awwful

CA: you dont lie but you do tease and ill tranfuse my kickass royal blood out wwith incontinent musclebeast discharge if i wwont knoww wwhen im gettin hooked

GA: Yeah

GA: Shes Just A Concerned Moirail

GA: Looking Out For You

GA: Thats All

CA: awwww fuck

CA: see im tellin you

CA: you got to play your cards right

GA: What Do You Mean

CA: if youre not savvvvy about howw you define yourself to people

CA: you can just splash into the moirail zone before you knoww wwhich wways upwward

GA: Oh

GA: Hmm

CA: kan its hard

GA: What

CA: being a kid and growwing up

CA: its hard and nobody understands

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

[psychologeek]

master post!

awesome tags :) +adds so far (except above this rb)

it's long. read undercut :)

@pa-pa-plasma :

#Danny: okay so this one is probably so hyperspecific it wont actually apply to anyone but#Danny: as you can already tell from the title. this is how to deal with a superpowered pet#*25 minutes of dog training*#Conner: *intense note taking*#Danny (it was actually Tucker but. secret identities) adds a livestreaming feature & kinda tiredly does a#Day in the Life livestream one day#(obviously without the Fenton stuff)#but like. showing what he does exactly. bribe his ''enemies'' into staying in the GZ this week. that sorta stuff#he doesnt do much anymore since it's been like 10 years. he knows how to deal with shit now#which is why he decided to livestream it. like#''lol surprising the NB staff by going through the drivethrough (again) live would be kinda funny''#he doesnt get a lot of views BUT his chat is on fucking fire.#Danny: *reading* How do you deal with an enemy who wants to date you? OH MAN. OKAY THAT'LL BE MY NEXT VID DONT WORRY#Danny: short answer though is: don't.#he randomly puts out a DOOMED speedrun but it's literally him possessing the game#& he's mad the mods wont accept his runs because ''ghost powers isnt modding the game''

@the-scarecrow-of-aus

#ember pesters danny into making a page for her to host her music videos#stop opening the links batman the bat computer cant take it!

@piedpiperart

#Danny is the dad of all dads#batman: let me into amity my kids are in there#phantom: what kids these are all mine#each of the ghosts set up their own lil boot camps#Skulker teaches about weapons and mech suits#technus teaches hacking#undergrowth teaches plants or how to combat gas or plant based attacks#box ghost teaches about shipping and handling and how to recognize what boxes carry guns and what Carrie’s radioactive materials or somethin#lunch lady just makes them all lunches#jk she teaches how to poison people!! haha!!#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#clockwork teaches time stream shenanigans#they’re gone for a year but turns out it was only a few mins#it’s helpful but terrifying and theyre not taking that class again#spectra teaches them how to recognize their villains motivations and when to get them psychiatric help or just jail them#or kill them#jk#unless#not sure what kitty and Johnny would teach but I feel like they’d be good with relationships and gender and stuff#teaches what to do if you fall in love with a villain or fellow hero#Dani teaches clones probably#vlad is a guest lecturer in dani’s class to explain why clones were his go to plan and teach them how to clone people or hide their dna well#frostbite teaches medicine prolly

@frostedthroughghost

#depends on the time line#but#i feel like Danny just casually dropping 'clone' could lead to some pretty big paradim shifts in the jl#or maybe Kon goes to Danny when Superman rejects him#pretty soon there's a very pointed video titled 'How To Deal With Being Cloned'#which could lead to other clones in DC being treated very differently#would legitimately pay for more of this#i don't know anyone outside the batfam well enough to even really imagine it#let alone write it#but it's amazing

@robinasnyder wrote here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44721676/chapters/112519846

@unordinarywarlord's take here:

@izarnox

#Danny acting like a kind of elder in the hero community??#chef kiss#and being seen like a respected one too??

@@batsyheere

@farmercale

@valiantsuitcaseskellington

Like and Survive! (DC x DP)

Everyone knows who Phantom is. He was one of the very first heroes though he inexplicably chose to dedicate his life (metaphorically) to micromanaging the hell out of some random town no one has ever heard of. He's a specialist hero, only really useful for ghost stuff. He comes every time someone contacts him for help but it's only happened a few times in all of his years of operation.

Then, kid heroes become a thing. Robin, once perpetually hidden beneath the shadow of the bat emerges into the metropolis sun just in time to make the front page.

When Batman's child-raising skills are called into question, Kid Flash is brought out at a press release by Flash to show that these exceptional children are around. They just aren't common knowledge for their own health (aside from the villains - being a child star wrecks your brain).

A few villains do come forward and say "no, the sidekicks will go out on their own if their hero doesn't let them. And they have all the powers and none of the restraint. Please don't separate them."

(Batman and Robin are both very flattered that all their rogues think they have powers. Robin is ✨glowing✨ with pride.)

Cyborg calls Robin at 3am. He asks if he's seen the new 'BooTube' page.

Phantom has set up his own website. It's a dark and moody ripoff of YouTube with 1 channel. His.

Introduction Video: Transcript Hi guys, I can't lie to you, I was as up-in-arms as anyone when I saw what people are now calling "The Robin Reveal". But then I remembered that I started my hero work when I was mentally and physically fourteen years old...

Danny doesn't mention he was also chronologically 14 at the time. Secret identities and all.

...and I had no mentor, no training and no backup. It was just me and two humans, neither of whom even had powers at that time. I understand the call, in a way that none of the non-hero people criticising you could ever hope to comprehend. I'm glad to see most of you fellow child-heroes have an experienced adult watching your back. But if you don't. If there's even one of you out there who need a mentor, consider Amity Park open for business, and consider adding my number to your speedial. I'm not like those people in interviews saying "Oh, someone needs to help the children!" I am helping you, I am helping you whenever you need with whatever you want.

The ghost swallows and seemingly forces down his brimming sincerity.

And for those of you who do already have backup? Consider checking back here. I'm going over my old reports from my first few years on the streets to see what I most needed to hear, and what I wished I knew sooner. Hopefully no one else will have to learn what I know the hard way.

You know how to fight, this channel won't be for that. This is about coping with secret identities, and the messed up situations that can only happen to a vigilante or hero.

Anyways, the first video is already ready to be edited so in a few days I'll be back here to discuss what you do when you've been cloned. How to deal with that emotionally and physically. My clone isn't very well known outside of my town but I think she'll add a great perspective!

Within weeks, without his knowledge, Danny is somehow remote-mentoring heroes of all ages.

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 13: ...O-OH?

it’s the night of the big stream. y/n uncovers a strange, albeit deep, bond with charlie. corpse interrupts her garden date with sykkuno quite unceremoniously. tensions are high as ever; proximity chat reveals internal monologues and stray thoughts. y/n’s “batshit insane” energy affects everyone. this is, quite literally, the best game of among us bretman has ever played.

─── corpse husband x reader, sykkuno x reader (if you squint, it’s very one sided)  ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 6.1k oops ─── ❥ reqs: sum people requested some interaction w bretman + jealous corpse + flirty sykkuno

author’s note: guys....GUYS WE’RE ON THE 3RD “OH” hope ur excited cus i am!!! this was rly fun to write, but then again, everything is better than writing an essay lmao! this is extremely chaotic and a bit seggsy but like a minuscule bit u wont even notice it i swear xx there’s not much social media in this one, mostly written lol. as always lmk wat u think n thank u for all ur kind words n sooo manyyyy ideassss!!! love u lots

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous. ҉   next.

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It’s happening, you think, picking the discreet, angelic white color for your astronaut - with a halo and all, truly, you are a seraph that stepped through the gates of heaven and descended onto earth to grace these morals with your presence...quite literally, you’re not only donning white in game, but also in real life, cute as a button or more like as a bunny. Cat girls are overrated - cat boys, on the other hand, you’ll ardently defend till your last breath - but bunny girls...Safe to say, your chat had been going feral. Your endless ego is fed well. You even swore on your heart that no devilish trickery would follow in this game - you had left your snake ways behind you.

No one believed you. The Roaches know you too fucking well.

The influx of new subs, however, do not. Look at this cute girl! She wouldn’t hurt a fly! You chuckle at the compliments. At the exact same moment, Rae pipes up on the discord call, “Y/n is leering and cackling evilly. No one trust her.”

Demon woman herself must be watching your stream before starting her own. You pout, all adorable and innocent, but your eyes gleam slyly. Truly, a mastermind of manipulation! Look at you go! The chat is swooning. The viewer number steadily climbs past 16K and you hum happily, welcoming all that decided to join your little clan, “Don’t listen to Rae. Wifey is mad because I said I’m not bringing her back a souvenir. Well guess what, bitch, I’m the gift.”

Your perfect image does not quite align with your tone, nor the affectionate nickname you call your roommate (bitch, not wifey). The new viewers are none the wiser though, just like your new stream mates.

There is laughter from people you don’t quite know. The lobby is almost full, but not everyone has trickled in yet.

“Filing divorce papers right now.” Rae mumbles, but you hear the smile in her voice. It makes you crack a grin, too. 

More hello’s and shy introductions to the people in the lobby. Sykkuno’s green astronaut pops in with a upbeat, “Hey, everyone! Hi, Y/n!” as his character circles around yours. A collective awww echoes in your stream chat as you, quite breathless at the wholesomeness, reply with a “Hi! Hi hi!” as well.

Corpse is next to join, mysteriously ominous. The discord call is pure chaos, everyone screaming over the other variations of his name while stressing different syllables. Silent as a grave, he just stands there, his black astronaut seemingly eyeing everyone in the lobby. 

Alas, when the noise dies down, he utters, “Whaddup, baby.” and it’s pandemonium all over again. You are screeching/laughing along with the rest. His astronaut swiftly glides to Sykkuno, still circling around you, “Hey, Sykkuno.” He says. The latter abruptly stops. The game hasn’t even started, and already - betrayal! Sykkuno starts circling around Corpse now, leaving you in the dust.

“Hey, dude!”

“Yo,” You interrupt, “I’m like here too, yeah?”

“Fight, fight, fight!” Pokimane jeers. You can’t see her, but you’re certain she’s pumping her fists in the air. 

“Let’s leave the bloodshed for the game, yeah?” Dream offers past her laugh ridden urging.

“No, fuck that, let’s start this shit right now,” Charlie declares - his monotone is strangely pleasant to the ear, and you lean back in your chair with a thoughtful hum. Something about his energy just clicks with yours instantly, but perhaps you’re judging too quickly- “Got my fucking knife ready to slit some throats. You can all pretend you aren’t ready to kill on sight, but that’s not me. I’ll teabag your dead fucking body.”

-yeah, no, your initial estimate had been correct! What a pleasant surprise, you feel like you and he will get along beautifully. 

“Way to be subtle, Charles.” Rae snorts.

“Subtle doesn’t make an interesting game, Rae,” He’s quick to bite back, “and if I’m Impostor, you bet your fucking ass I’m going after you first.”

“Noooooo!” She shrieks, rushing to your astronaut, which is still just standing there, abandoned, like the equivalent of that one emoji, “Y/n, protect me.”

“Of course, baby.” You purr. 

There’s mumbling in the discord call, though it’s barely audible. Corpse seems to be repeating the word to himself: Baby...Baby?...Baby...

“You’re gonna stab me in the back the first chance you get, won’t you?” She questions, already painfully aware of the answer.

“You know it!”

“Finally, someone that’s not fucking cowering in their boots and flaunting their real nature.” Charlie says, “Y/n, form a Big Dick Alliance with me.”

“Oh for sure, man.” You agree immediately, trailing to his in game figure, “Let’s show these virgins how it’s done.”

“This is going to be a mess, isn’t it?” Sean’s voice rings with a cheerful laugh, making you flustered. Yes, you’re actually playing with THE JacksepticeyeTM. You still haven’t fully wrapped your head around that part, “I’m very excited to see where this will go.”

“Nowhere good.” You say with unparalleled sincerity - every word you speak to him, the icon, the legend, the one of the few youtubers you actually actively follow, must be genuine. You doubt you can lie to him. He’s too good of a person. You admire him too much. Stuck between wanting to be a shady bitch and an absolute saint, you refrain from addressing him more - you are simply not worthy.

its the y/n trying to act like a normal person in front of jack for me

ikr she looks ready to join the monastery

each day we stray closer to gods light???

Your viewers are snide as always. Gosh, you love them.

The last player pops in, fashionably late, “Hey, y’all.”

“Hey, Bretman!” The call choruses somewhat harmoniously.

“Hi, daddy.” He’s speaking to Corpse now, a smile in his voice - you can hear it even past the static of his atrocious mic. Your eyes widen, eyebrows shooting up. Your friends are cackling, but confusion refrains you from doing the same - were you not the only one Corpse offered, seemingly so long ago!, to be his sugar baby? 

One betrayal after the other. You’re glad for the Big Dick Alliance. The name has a nice right to it, too. 

Corpse laughs, “...Hey, Bretman. How are you today?”

Damn, two sentences for him, but not even a word spoken to you!? You’re already scripting a very melodramatic paragraph you will text him after the stream. With poorly masked discontent, you mutter, “Wow, thanks for such a warm welcome, Corpse, my day’s going great, yeah, loving the company.”

“Now now miss girl,” Bretman chimes, “we can’t be all daddy’s favorite.”

“Careful,” Charlie drones, “I think you just got yourself onto Y/n’s shit list.”

“Right next to Corpse Husband and Valkyrae.” You agree, “Sykkuno!” You suddenly call him.

“Uhm-Uh-Yes?” Is his nervous reply.

“You’re safe.” You state coldly, “For now.”

“You are not going after Sykkuno on my watch.” It must be a belated holiday miracle because Corpse finally decides to address you. His words seem to awake something in him, “Hey-Hey-Hey-” He swiftly glides to you, standing right next to your minute virtuous angel, “When are you coming back to Cali?”

corpse stop acting weird challenge

literally omg lmao

he does bring up a good point y/n y u not in cali yet?!

^pack it up corpse simp he disrespected the queen when he didnt say hi

“Back off, buddy,” Charlie interjects, “this spot is for Big Dick Alliance members only.”

“I’m never returning.” You inform him, your voice cold like the Arctic snow, and the look in your eyes is no kinder. You feel like you’re having a stare down through screen. 

Silence stretches. Is this an intimidation tactic? Because if it is, it’s a paltry one. Your conviction to be petty is stronger than any vulnerability you might feel.

“Then I have nothing to say to you.” He admits and fucks right off with that. Fine, go join Sykkuno and Rae in their little corner of betrayal! Friendship ended with Corpse, now Charlie is your best friend.

“Okay, guys, guys, guys-” Toast, noting this is going to spiral any minute now, tries to catch their attention, “Let’s start?!”

You look into your camera, and the roaches know what you’re thinking. You’re twins like that, communicating telepathically. You are taking back your tender promise of not being a conniving bastard. It’s fucking on. You will destroy everyone in your path, starting with the guy you have a stupid crush on - maybe?! Feelings are confusing, you’d rather just not think point blank period.

With no objections from the cast, the counter ticks away seconds and, for the first round, you’re stuck as CREW MATE.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

Charlie is a gift. Truly, you had not expected such a sudden, wonderful relationship to bloom. How have you not known of him sooner?! It’s a crime that you hadn’t spoken to him earlier. You are a 100% certain if you had found him before you started streaming, he would’ve been a big inspiration. 

The two of you do your silly little tasks and curse like sailors, commenting about this and that thanks to proximity chat. You wouldn’t have been able to stand the claustrophobic silence if it was just a normal Among Us game - to think, missing out on all his foully worded quips! It almost springs a tear into your eye. He’s just as unhinged as you.

worried about this dynamic 

its a trainwreck lol i love it plz collab more plz

Caught in a headed discussion in Electrical - TikTok trends, or audios specifically - you defend the app the best you can. Charlie thinks it’s super cringe, and you insist it’s part of the charm as you connect wires.

“I mean, have...-do you know that one audio, the one that goes, like,” You’re spilling your words, heated, frustrated that he’s so dismissive of the app that literally saved 2020, “it goes like, uhm,” You clear your throat, prep your voice - even take a sip of your favorite drink. Drawing the syllables, you try your best to make it drop an octave - it must sound like you’re doing an atrociously bad and nauseatingly scratchy Corpse impression with an extra dramatic flair, “My assssssss, your cockkk, you do the mathhh.”

“Did-Did I just-” You freeze hearing Corpse’s voice, finally done with your task. Charlie is muffling his laughter behind his palm; Corpse’s astronaut stands in the doorway, “What the fuck did I just walk into?” He seems genuinely confused, though a strangely winded. You’re mortified. Your shoulders are shaking. You look at the stream chat but it’s going too fast for you to follow. Manic laughter bubbles in your chest and you squeeze your eyes shut, mouth split into a toothy grin, lowering your head and trying to hide the blush dusting your cheeks.

“Hey? Guys? What the fuck are you talking about?” He questions again.

“Honestly?” Charlie chimes, “No fucking clue. TikTok, I think. Ask Y/n.”

You can’t reply. You’re crying. You cover your face with your palms, muttering a soft oh my god before bursting into a full blow laugh, throwing your head back, the motion accidentally knocking your headphones off.

“Y/n.” Corpse calls you, “Fuck was that?”

You’re howling. Your stomach hurts. There are literal tears in your eyes. You think Charlie might be laughing too, but you can’t really tell over your loud screeching. Hastily fixing your headphones, you wipe away the tears stuck to your lower lashes, heaving, “S-Sorry, I-” You stutter, breaking into another fit of giggles. Corpse patiently waits you to calm down. Catching your breath, you start again with a sniffle, “TikTok, yeah.” You idly fix your hair, trying to bite down a smile, “It’s an audio.”

“What- What kind of videos are you watching?”

“The good kind.” Your reply is instant, merciless, “Also, why are you here? We’re having a BDA meeting, you know.”

“I-I...” He trails off, “I...I heard people talking and...I just came here to check it out, but...I’m regretting it.” There’s a lilt in his voice, and you know he doesn’t regret jack shit. You bet he’s smiling. You wish you could see it.

“Bitch, then leave!” You huff. You aren’t sure what is with him today, and you don’t want to stick around and find out - his playfulness makes your stomach flip at the most inappropriate times! Like when you’re trying to sound threatening. You must retreat posthaste, “No, wait, I’ll do it for you.” You say, brushing past his character. Charlie follows after you.

“Dude, you’re so fucking lucky neither of us are the Impostor because you’d be deader than I’ve been feeling since I was 10.” Your favorite companion comments. Charlie is truly a modern wordsmith. You’re pretty sure you adore him, because you’re nodding your head, so quick to agree with him that even you’re surprised. 

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A meeting is called. You spare a glance at your fallen crew mates. They will be missed. Sean most of all, God, why does heaven always take the good ones?! The game feels emptier without him, even if you really only passed him once on your trek to Cafeteria with Charlie.

You may or may not have been avoiding him, afraid you’d accidentally say something horrible and he would hate you. It’s a silly fear, though a deep one. And with Charlie keeping you company, you had not uttered a single objectively  good, or even coherent, sentence. Your parents can’t watch this stream once it’s uploaded onto your Youtube channel. They know you’re barely keeping it together in most of your videos, but here, now? Yeah, no. Charlie is already hard to listen to on his own for sensitive viewers, and hearing you agree with literally everything he says with your own chaotic ideas? Your dad would stumble into an early grave.

Mom probably wouldn’t mind too much, but you’d have to explain your relationship status again. She is under the assumption that everyone you collab with is your significant other. You’d say it began with Sykkuno, though the exclamation of “Finally! My daughter isn’t pathetically single! We need to celebrate.” had started with Rae. Truly, a scandal.

Speaking of which, Sykkuno is gone, too, but you had time to mourn him already. You found his body roughly ten minutes ago; so torn with the fresh agony of heartbreak, you could not do anything else but cry. It was Charlie, bless his heart, that reported it.

“Someone killed Jack,” You say, voice dripping with venom, “court is now in session. I’m ready to vote the fucker out.”

People speak all at once. Toast roars over them, “ORDER! ODER IN COURT!” as he slams his hand onto his desk repeatedly. That seems to work, though briefly.

“I think it’s Y/n.” Corpse says. You stare at him, hand gripping your heart, mouth falling open in surprise.

flame him

corpse boutta be a corpse fr

beat his ass queen!!!!!

“Pardon my french,” You grumble, “but nani the fuck?!”

“It’s definitely Y/n, I found her and Charlie conspiring in Electrical. Surrealist experience of my fucking life, but it’s definitely her.”

“Dude, we’ve been over this,” Charlie sighs, shushing Rae who was about to comment something - knowing your luck, it was probably in favor of the man throwing you under the bus, “we would’ve snapped your fucking neck the moment you walked in. But we didn’t.”

“Yeah, we didn’t.” Corpse notes, “I said nothing about you, I’m just saying it’s definitely her. She probably didn’t kill in front of you because of your stupid alliance-”

“Someone sounds salty because he wasn’t invited.” Pokimane snickers.

“-or possibly she did tell you and you won’t betray her for the exact same reason.”

“That’s some big brain logic you pulled there, genius,” Charlie says, absolutely unimpressed, “sure you didn’t have an aneurysm trying to connect all of that together?”

“Well,” Rae pipes up, “Y/n and Charlie did say they will kill right before the game started. If you ask me, it’s not unbelievable. And Sykkuno was sorta on the shit list.”

“I’m writing down your name twice, Rachell.” You spit.

“Not helping your case at all, Y/n...” Dream worries, “And Rae makes a good point. Charlie and you have professed desire for murder. I’m just saying! It’s a bit suspicious, you know?”

The next words to leave Corpse’s lips sound incredibly smug, “See?” He drawls.  The pressure is getting to you - you don’t understand where this beguiling talent of his to convince literally everyone comes from, but it doesn’t inspire any confidence. Your fist suddenly feels incredibly lonely, so useless - oh, how you long to swing at him, “It’s definitely Y/n.”

“I dunno...” Toast mumbles.

“It’s Y/n.”

“Corpse-” You try, but he's ignoring you - shocker, as if he hadn’t been doing that from the very start of this stupid game - and chanting your name like it’s a fucking mantra or something, a smile in his voice, knowing, relishing in the fact that he’s grating on your nerves, “FIRST OF ALL,” You scream into the mic, successfully cutting him off; catching your breath, you exhale, and continue, calmly, lowly,  “get my pretty name out of your mouth.” 

There’s a pause full of tense silence. 

Then, there’s a sound, seemingly stuck in the back of his throat, “...O-Oh...?”

“Second of all,” You continue, words like honey dipped in arsenic, “This is the clearest smear campaign I have ever witnessed. By how hard you’re trying to frame me for fuck knows what reason, I’m led to believe it’s you that killed them. You’re the Impostor.”

“Corpse wouldn’t kill Sykkuno, though.” Rae comments, skeptical.

“Then the other Impostor did it.” You counter.

“Maybe you’re both Impostors.” Pokimane chirps.

“Y/n would never betray the Big Dick Alliance like that.” Charlie states.

You grin, “Charlie, I literally love you.” 

“Wait hold up now,” Corpse seems to get his bearings together, “what’s this about love I’m hearing?”

“I have none for you, dick.” You snap, flipping him off. Your chat cheers. While he can’t see it, you hope he senses it through the screen, “I officially hate you.”

“No, wait-”

“Boo, Corpse, you suck.” Toast laughs.

“Y/n, please-”

“Let’s all vote for Corpse Husband, okay?” You say it like it’s his full official name with an encouraging smile and multiple soft nods. Sykkuno can’t be here to nod, so you’ll do it for him. You eye the rapidly decreasing timer before clicking on Corpse’s figure and voting for him. The VOTED icon instantly pops up beside your adorable astronaut.

“Baby, I-” It slips past his lips so easily, as if he’s not even thinking about it, like it’s only natural to call you that and a spike of anxiety shoots up, making you glare. It’s only halfhearted. You try your best to ignore the rapid and uncoordinated pulses of your heart. Replace unwanted feelings with anger and hate - works like a charm, every time.

“You are not allowed to call me that.” You hiss. The chat spams snake emojis. 

“Wait-” Bretman chimes, “Hold up, y’all, slow down a minute. Why does Corpse never call me baby?”

“Yeah!” Pokimane agrees, “I want to be baby, too!”

Pokimane may not have been called baby, but you just single-handedly decided her nickname for her - Target 4. Welcome to the shit list, she is officially your public enemy number 1. You aren’t sure why the thought of Corpse ever referring to anyone else as baby makes you sick to your stomach (you actually do know why, but brain no think at the moment), but you wish this whole conversation never happened. You don’t like it.

20 seconds left. More VOTED icons appear by your friends. Corpse is the last one to cast his ballot at, you assume, you, as the rest wait for his quick explanation before everyone (or not) returns to the game, “...Because she’s my baby.”

Goodbye. Life had been sweet, and there was sorrow, though the amount of embarrassment you feel now is worse than when the internet found your cringe worthy high school pictures on your mom’s Facebook. It’s a mixture of dread and excitement - the pleasure of being noticed, cherished even, though anxious from vulnerability. Someone is screaming a very prolonged “WHAAAAT?!”, or maybe multiple people are, you aren’t sure, your ears start to hurt from the loud, conflicting cacophony of voices as you stare blankly at the screen. You received two votes, just like Corpse, Charlie got one, the rest skipped. With no one flung out, you all find yourself back in Cafeteria again.

Baby. My baby? My baby. My baby. The sentence is playing ping-pong in your mind, reverberating louder each time. You’re actually speechless for the first time in your life; your chest hurts, your heart beating so fast your hands start shaking. Had he meant it? Or was this a some joke? Was he trying to get a rise out of you again? You might just go insane from so many questions. My baby. Holy shit, this is a heart attack, this is what a heart attack feels like, dear God, you figured you at least had ten years before you get one!

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First round ends with IMPOSTORS raining victorious. Your sixth sense had been working wonders since, true to you previous estimate, it had been Corpse. His companion was Pokimane. For absolutely no reason what’s so ever, you change her name once more from Target 4 to Target 1. Normally, you’re all for girls supporting girls. Men don’t deserve anything, really, but now you’re so flustered and still reeling from what you are 80% sure was cardiac arrest that you genuinely don’t care about your established morals.

Round two starts without much deliberation. You get CREW MATE again; the game must sense your growing bloodlust, making sure that once you do get IMPOSTOR, you will not hold back. True power is granted to those who are ready and strong enough to wield it. You wait for your moment with bated breath.

Charlie is taken from you too early. The two of you were once again caught in a discussion - God knows about what, Minecraft, hentai, oh! your server! - as you tried to card swipe for the umpteenth time. The lights blew out and you just knew one of you was getting murdered there and then. Charlie’s voice abruptly cut off, and you think a part of you died with him.

It’s a cold meeting; with your new best friend being the first to go, everyone decides to skip. You proclaim you seek vengeance. When the meeting comes to an end, Sykkuno is the first to offer his condolences.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.” He says, and while he’s not in Brooklyn, you somehow feel him patting your back. You feign a sniffle.

“There’s nothing to apologize for...” You murmur sadly, “Unless...” Your voice turns sharp as the knife that was surely twisted into Charlie’s back, “It was you?”

“NO!” He exclaims, “I would never-you gotta believe me! I would never kill him. I know he’s important to you. I wouldn’t do that, I swear.”

“He was like a brother to me.” You admit, solemn, “Charlie, if you’re haunting me right now, know I will avenge you. I will not let this go.”

Sykkuno hums, circling around you, “Hey, I have a task in Greenhouse. Would you, uh--Would like to, uhm, join me?” Despite the shaky start, he finishes on a firm, pleasant note. He’s trying to cheer you up. Having lost your closest friend, he’s offering you his company. You accept with a soft smile and a cute “Yes, please!” and he releases an airy little laugh. The two of you make your way to your favorite place in map MIRA.

It’s difficult to stay sad for long when Sykkuno’s so sweet; the atmosphere of the Greenhouse is strangely calming; your problems seem to be left behind the shut doors. If you tried hard enough, you could imagine being in an actual Greenhouse - the warm, damp air clinging to your skin, the unmistakable smell of earth and vegetation, the pleasant silence broken only by yours and his hushed voices and clumsy footsteps.

The two of you are talking. Mainly about your choice of attire. Cat first, Sykkuno ponders aloud, doing his task as you watch the plants grow, now bunny, what’s next? You affirm that you will most likely dress up in cow-print next, or as an adorable sheep. He laughs, admitting you’ll look good in anything before he trails off. His awkwardness is really endearing. 

“Or!” You chirp happily, content with being locked away with him for the whole game. The idea must be playing in his mind, too, because he seems in no rush to leave, “I could, like, dress as someone from My Hero Academia. I watched the stream you did with Stella, the one where she made you look like Todoroki. It was really cute. You were really cute.”

“Oh, uhm-well, uh, thank you, thanks, I, uhm-” He clears his throat, and despite his stutter, you hear the smile in his voice, “I-I think you’d look better, though. Not as Todoroki. Or, probably as Todoroki, too. But, uhm, what character are you thinking about?”

“Maybe Momo?”

“Momo!” He yeps, “Momo is good. Yeah, she’s great. You’ll-uhm-you’ll look amazing. Really. Momo is awesome. Very pretty. Just like you.”

You are blushing. A stupid, toothy grin makes your cheeks hurt. Your eyes flicker to the chat, but again, it’s going wild. Giggling, you thank him for his sweet words, so giddy it’s honestly embarrassing. Why can’t you stop smiling? This is incriminating. You hide your lips behind your palm.

“...What’s this?” Corpse question. You had failed to note his sudden appearance, too busy gushing. “Am I interrupting?”

“Hey, Corpse!” Sykkuno greets. For someone so awkward and shy, he sure is good at hiding it when he wants to. Perhaps it’s all an act and you had been deviously tricked! Probably not, but you can’t help but narrow your eyes suspiciously, finally able to calm down. You definitely underestimated him, you just haven’t figured out how yet, “Not really! Y/n was sad Charlie died so I took her here.”

“You interrupted our date, dipshit.” You deadpan. 

“...Fuck you say?” Corpse dares, his voice low and somewhat menacing - for someone who exclusively portrays his emotions through only his voice, he’s incredibly hard to read. This is payback. Your love for wreaking havoc resurfaces suddenly. Serves him right for pulling all this ignoring shit at the start. Maybe you’ll make him say oh again.

Your sly smirk is promptly wiped. Fuck. He said oh, he literally said oh out loud. The Teruhashi fangirl in you is screaming. You had been so caught up in defending yourself you didn’t even register it at first. Alarmed, you look at the camera, then at the chat. First oh, then my baby. There’s no way he had been teasing you, and this proves it. Holy shit. You mouth the words “HE SAID OH!” for your audience only.

now she notices

snail pace baby we’ve been loosing our shit for the past hour 

corpse x y/n saikik au enemies to lovers 500k words slow burn im here for it

opening wattpad rn^

Your heart races in your chest - it might be considered an Olympic medalist at this point; flustered yet again, you wish you could cave into yourself. You should’ve brought your bright blue wig with you to Brooklyn. Turns out it would have been perfect for this stream. Yes, yes thinking about unnecessary details always works in distracting you from the butterflies throwing a fucking rave in your stomach. 

“I guess it is a date!” Sykkuno admits, “Kinda after a funeral, but still.”

Corpse hums. You’re still too stunned to say anything. The black astronaut with adorable cat ears approaches Sykkuno. 

“It’s not.” He states. Your mouth falls open in shock as your date, your companion, the Shoto to your Momo is murdered in cold blood right in front of you. His lifeless body, cut in half, lays on the tiles by the growing flowers, right beside you, “You didn’t see shit.”

“...I didn’t see shit.” Is all you can utter, breathless and terrified.

“Thaaaat’s fucking right, baby.” Corpse coos, “Now I’m gonna report it, and I’ll say we found Sykkuno together. Better stick close to me after the meeting, got it?”

If Sykkuno is Shoto, then Corpse is definitely Dabi. 

why is that kinda hot tho omg

didn’t know i needed dom corpse since now but i do

y/n looks like shes boutta throw up lmao 

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You follow him around like a lost puppy - because what else is left for you to do!? You’re helpless in this situation. He’s got you in the palm of his hand, successfully eliminating everyone you had previously interacted with. First it was Charlie, then Sykkuno, even Sean, who said hello in passing, was shot instantly. Real Sangwoo behavior. You almost want to scream warnings at everyone to not approach you. You cannot mourn another lost crew mate, you don’t think your conscience can take it. But words fail to form. You’re too weak. You fake cry to your audience. They’re quick to remind you to stop acting like a little bitch.

“Mean.” Is all you say, eyeing the comments.

“Hm?”

“Was talking to the roaches.”

“What are they saying?”

“That I should betray you.”

“...Better not.”

A shiver shoots up your spine and you half believe he will bust down your door and drag you into his basement for real. A nervous laugh slips past your lips, “I won’t, I won’t.” You reassure him, “Don’t worry, I’m sticking with you. I haven’t seen shit.”

“I like that you listen to me. You always this agreeable?”

“You’re kinda not giving me a choice right now.” You grumble, vending yourself a drink while he looms behind you, protecting you. From who?! Himself?!

“Oh my fucking God, finally,” Bretman exclaims, “girl, I’ve been running around the whole map trynna find someone, is everyone like, dead?”

You’re scared to reply. Corpse does it for you, “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maybe? Not sure. Where have you been?”

“Oh you know,” Bretman grins, “doing tasks, talking shit, the usual. You two are not, like, Impostors right?”

You shoot a look at Corpse, but he obviously can’t see it. Biting your lip, you murmur, “Nope.”

“Just your regular crew mates doing regular crew mate things.” Corpse says, no, purrs. Because that’s not suspicious at all. You’d recommend Bretman to run, and not only because that sounded shady as fuck. But he seems to enjoy danger, or he just doesn’t care.

“Hmmmm, crew mates, sure. Miss girl Y/n,” He’s addressing you now; you smile anxiously, “How come every time I see you, you’re with a different man?! Like damn, leave some for the rest of us, for real!”

You like Bretman. You like his high-pitched whine and drawl. You would like him even more if not for the complex situation at hand. You fear for his life. Chewing at your bottom lip, you snicker, “Sorry, Bret. I can leave you Corpse if you want?”

He laughs, “Girl, I’d say yes so fucking quick, but I know he wouldn’t want that. Normally I wouldn’t care, but y’all are such a cute couple it’s making me not want to be a shady motherfucking bitch. Changing my ways, embracing the lord. Love it.”

 Corpse doesn’t correct him that you are, in fact, not dating. His lack of reaction unnerves you slightly. Does he...? No! No think! Only exist! You catch that train of thought and steer it away from forbidden territory. Looks like it’s up to you to clear the air, and that is exactly what you do after trying to swallow down the lump in your throat, “Uh, we’re not together, actually. We’re just really good friends.”

“Bitch, then move over,” Bretman says snappily,”go like, back to your other boyfriends. Or find another one. I think I saw Dream near Navigation.”

“Near Navigation, huh?” Corpse hums thoughtfully. It’s a subtle warning, but you catch it. Yeah, even if you try running, Dream’s going to join your other ‘boyfriends’ in the afterlife. Granted, killing someone by just talking with them is kind of cool. Or maybe Stockholm Syndrome is finally kicking in, “Bret, the thing is, Y/n’s scared of dying, so she asked me to stay with her.”

It’s disturbing how good at lying he is. It is also really really attractive, as bizarre as that is.

y/n stop being in a toxic relationship with corpse challenge

making fanart of this omg her face

its the blushing for me girl get your head outta the gutter!

^she cant, it lives there

“Baby, you’re gonna fucking die if you stick with her,” Bretman points out, “have you noticed the mortality rate of her partners? Rest in peace, daddy.”

“He’s right, you know.” You mutter, dramatically looking to the side, “I’m no good, Corpse.”

“Not leaving you, end of discussion. Bretman, join us?” Corpse offers, catching you by surprise. He might still be lying, though. Creating a false sense of security before eliminating Bretman. Probably would laugh while doing it, too. Wow, he truly is evil.

Turns out he doesn’t have to do any of that, because when Dream strolls into Cafeteria, he kills Bretman instead. The two Impostors are finally revealed. You promised not to snitch on Corpse, but you didn’t say shit about not exposing Dream. You press the REPORT button and say just that: “Dream just murdered Bret right in front of me and Corpse.”

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The last meeting is called. Dream had been voted out with the help of Corpse, and now only you, he, and Rae remain.

“Baby, you know what to do.”

The VOTED icon pops up beside Corpse’s astronaut. Rae wheezes, “No! Y/n, it’s not me, you gotta believe me, I swear it’s not me!”

“...I really don’t know,” You murmur, “I’ve been with Corpse a lot, and...Rae, I’m not sure...”

“Please! I swear it on my Kagayama cardboard cut out, I’m not the Impostor, please! You know me, I’d never lie to you like this.”

“She’s definitely lying.” Corpse says, sounding pleased.

“Don’t listen to him! Remember, during the first round, when he tried to convince us that you were the Impostor? He’s doing the same shit to me!”

“I also remember you agreeing with him.” You remind her.

“I was stupid! Small dumb brain moment! He was using us to win! He’s using you right now!” She votes, “Please, Y/n, make the right choice.”

You’re silent for a moment.

“I’m gonna...I’m gonna vote for who I think it is.” You lastly say.

A slow, lazy grin makes it’s way onto your lips, eyes gleaming mischievously. You had not forgotten your promise to your brother from another mother, you had not forgotten the pride of the BDA, you had not forgotten your beautiful friendship. Two miniature astronauts pop up by Corpse’s at the exact moment Rae screeches “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!”

“Fuck.” Is all Corpse says with a laugh.

The screen changes, informing of the first CREW MATE victory.

Your ears are assaulted with different voices as you appear in the lobby.

“Now that’s what I’m fucking talking about.” Charlie raves, “I swear to fucking God, Y/n, you even got me going for a second. Pulled some 1000 IQ shit right there. It was fucking amazing. Best back stabbing I’ve seen in a while, and I’ve seen a lot.”

“That was absolutely fantastic, Y/n.” Sean applauds, “I really thought you joined Corpse like some crew mate accomplice or something. Can’t believe you switched on him at the last second.”

“That’s my wifey!” Rae cheers, strolling to you, “Love you, mwah.”

“Hey, Corpse,” Charlie calls him, “How does it feel to be a fucking loser?”

“I’m surprisingly fine with it.”

yeah he would be lmao

mom is the best snake ever i love you sm y/n

rae and y/n’s friendship....the feeeeeels

As the rest sing your praises for another solid minute or two, the third round begins. CREW MATE again. Though, just because you’re stuck as an underpaid worker in a dying spaceship, it doesn’t mean you’re innocent. Your last round proved that quite well. You can’t help but silently snicker.

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TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury--moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[s0lar-ch3ri]

NO. OMG. YOU FUCKING KNOW MYTHBORNE TOO!!!!

the mythborne tag probs has a lot of my shit BUTTTTTT it has people that are real and exist on tumblr

so real, they are absolutely trans bebo just cant not make them

btw, mythborne is actually on their yt and spotify and was my first campaign and the only reason i started riptide! i know its on both cause i also dont have the patreon so yeah

ALRIGHT ENOUGH ON THAT LETS GET TALKING ABOUT CONNOR!!! (spoilers ahead lol)

okay so connor. my boy. oh my god hes a boy. can i just say i thought that like ryan and connor had some gay shit going on? CONNORS FUCKING MORALITY CHANGED BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO SAVE HIM

anyways, my beautiful boy, lets talk about that magic that made him able to save ryan. despite seeming as not so special (ryan is jacked and aster aeliana is related to mr. aeliana), connor has a special power due to a book. what power you may wonder? FUCKING DEATH MAGIC. he uses it very logically (example: decayed roof to let light in to lead rats away) if ever, considering how they didnt really have like any fights happen. in fact, id say he uses it the least! however, every time he uses it, it definately makes an impact, and i think that says a lot about his character.

from what i know, connor seeked out this kind of magic because of his ill brother. he wanted to CONTROL DEATH to help his brother. i dont know about you, but that kind of love, of trying to control what is seen as a natural and an unstoppable force, makes an impact.

the kind of love where your whole morality shifts as though something in you dies, to go agsinst parental teachings and lose your strong morality and intregity in the process, that makes an impact.

even just plot wise, like the destroying the inside of that machine so the investigators couldnt stop the big game, that would make an impact.

like i said, each time connor uses the death magic (which isnt much by the way) it makes an impact like a changing the game tag. however, hes never used it to kill someone. yes, he murdered several rats, but all the actors were left alive. the roof couldnt die because it isnt alive. he got the death magic to make sure his borther DIDNT die!

its also interesting to see him paired up with aster and ryan of all people. ryan joins in on calling him "con-nerd" yet they still hang out, with their complete opposites of personality. and aster, whos apparently the daughter of the sun (ask me about my theory on her and you wont get me to stfu lmao) and has powers related to light and life, while death is associated with darkness and shit. not to mention, aster has used her powers directly on people to hurt them, so its as though she could be thought of as "evil" or smth like that (im only saying it cause it makes the comparisons work even better) (also example: she used heat metal on a flute still in a mans mouth).

asters opposite in magic, ryans opposite in personality, and yet who else would connor befriend?

and hes definately made impacts on his friends! aster at the beginning was quite shy when inside she was wild, and connor helped her let it out. ryan literally was having an identity crisis and he kinda just showed ryan that he cared for him being himself throughout the story (if im reading them wrong i literally writing this beofre i head to school so yeah)

connor deserves to be talked about more because by the goddesses does he make an impact

thanks for tuning into cherry talks gayly about his special interests lets see who i torment an answer out of next

hey so if you had to pick a character you either really really like or want to be talked about more (as in, put under a microscope and picked apart to see what they all about) from jrwi who would it be

im so not obvious teehee

hmmmm a good question..... CONNOR CONNORS CONNOR CONNORS CONNOR CONNORS I LOVE CONNOR CONNORS JHFJSHJKSFHJKFHKDJSFHKD hes so special to me and i feel like i didnt get enough connor connors content, hes just non existent (actually he could be more existent than i think but i happen to be one of the few people who do NOT own the jrwi patreon)

but like also if im in a different mood them chip jrwi is always a go to (i love bizly's silly little transguy characters (they arent trans but i have decided they are so now they are))

[tenkoscumslut]

Shigaraki, Dabi, Hawks headcannons

So um this is about Shigaraki, Dabi and Hawks reaction to their S/O with thick thighs 

Does contain 18+ stuff so ur warned.

And thanks to everyone, I’ve only had this app for 3 days and I have 3 followers, I mean that does not sound like a lot but it is to me.  ThANKS Guys ilysm

Shigaraki

- Shigaraki is a thigh boy, as well as boob guy.  

- Before you dated he jacked off to thick thighs.

- When you came along he didn’t really notice your thighs because he is either sleeping, playing video games or planning stuff for the League

- One day you wore his shirt which went down to your mid thigh

- Then he noticed them. 

- He was practically drooling over them

- “Shiggy whats wrong?”

- “N-Nothing”.

(Senario):

Y/N yawned and stretched her arms far above her head, it was currently 3 a.m, and she was exhausted, “Shiggy, can we go to sleep?”, she mumbled tiredly, he grunted out a response, he was for to mesmerized with his game to really even pay attention to what she was saying.

“Shiggy?”, she repeated his name, “What?”, he asked.  “I’m tired!”, she whined and sat next to him, “Then go to sleep”, he replied nonchalantly, “You haven’t slept in days, can we please go to bed?”, she asked again.

“Fine”, he huffed and turned off his monitor.  A small smile formed on Y/N face, she waddled over to the bed and collapsed in it.  Shigaraki stood there, staring at her sleepy figure intensely, she was wearing his shirt.

“Shiggy what’s wrong?”, Y/N mumbled tiredly, “N-Nothing”, he stuttered, a huge blush was forming on his face.  Her thighs.  He was in love with them, he literally wanted to sink his teeth into the soft flesh, play with them, burry his head between them.

He wanted you to crush his head with your thighs, the thought of that made his big boy stick begin to grow.  “I-I like your thighs”, he mumbled and practically jumped on the bed and nuzzled his face into your chest.

“W-What”, Y/N was confused. Very confused.  She just wants to slep.

Dabi

- He isn’t really into thighs

- But seeing you in that skirt

- He needed to have you

- To bad you had a boyfriend/girlfriend

- Nah he’s gonna make you his

- Your not gonna walk for a week :P

(Senario):

Y/N walked into the bar wearing a school girl outfit, somewhat similar to Togas, but instead the skirt was a bit shorter, and she wore a blue hoodie.  Y/N didn’t have much confidence when it came to her fashion style, so she wore plain colors, nothing to crazy.

Today she decided to add a little spice to her clothing choice, so she chose a white tennis skirt with a blue crew hoodie her boyfriend/girlfriend gave her.  Y/N was exhausted after today’s school day and work.

Toga came bouncing up, wearing her signature outfit and hairstyle, “Y/N!”, she squealed, “Oh My God You Wont Believe What Happen!”, she started to babble on about Izuku licking ice cream at her favorite ice cream store.

“That’s great Toga”, I said with a soft smile and moved my gaze to the bar.  Nobody other than Kurogiri and Dabi were there, Dabi was beyond focused with his phone, typing away stuff on it while Kurogiri was cleaning a glass.

“Heyo!”, I greeted them both with a wave, “Hello Ms. L/N”, Kurogiri greeted back, Dabi spared one glance and then looked away, then looked back, then looked away.

“Oi, I said hello”, I huffed and walked over to Dabi.  He coughed into his arm awkwardly, “You good?”, I asked and tapped his shoulder, “Y-Yeah”, he stuttered.

He kept looking down at my lap through the entire night. 

And now it was beddy bedtime.

You drank your appy juice and then brushed your temfs.

Then you let your hair fall down

And you practically fell down on your bed.

You heard a knock at the door, “Come in”, you called.

You were surprised to see Dabi.

He shut the door followed with a click.

“Something wrong?”, you asked.

“Yeah”, he growled.

You were confuzled.

“Well whats wrong?”, you chuckled awkwardly.

“You. Fucking thinking you can prance around wearing that”, he growled.

“u-Um, what?”, you coughed awkwardly.  He stalked towards you.

“Were you wearing that just to get me worked up?”, he growled.

“I-I don’t know w-what you mean Dabi”, you mumbled, a pit of arousal was growing in your stomach.

“I think you know exactly what I mean”...

You couldn’t walk for the next week.  And know your with Dabi.

Hawks - It’s the first the he noticed when you walked into his office.

- He was literally obsessed with you

- So don’t be surprised if he knows your exact measurements, favorite color, brid, flower, food, pet, and most importantly, clothes.

- he likes to serenade you with objects, just like a bird

- He leave either dead animals, shiny objects or clothes at your doorstep

- At first you were freaked out

- Then every time you went home someone shouted from outside your window, “I love you”.

- And everytime you looked outside nobody would be there

- you thought you were out of your mind

- And one day you decided to ask Hawks a question

- “Hey Hawks, can you shout I love you?”.

- he shouted it with no hesitation.

- It sounded just like the man outside your window.

- At first you didn’t confront him

- You started giving him shiny objects in return

- You asked about his bird tendencies.

- then he told you about courting a mate

- and then it all clicked

- he was attracted to you and wanted you for a mate

(Senario)

“Mhm, tell me more”, Y/N asked softly, “Well um, birds...they court mates”, he explained, “They either give them shiny objects, dead animals, or they sing songs for them or do dances”, he started to dive into the topic very eagerly.

“So do you have a special someone in mind?”, you asked.  A blush flared over his face and he coughed into his arm awkwardly, “U-Uh n-not r-right now”, he mumbled shyly, you smiled, “Ok!”.

“So about those song stuff”, you started, “How do most of the songs go?”, you asked.  “Well it all depends on the birdy!”, he exclaimed happily, “Most of them proclaim their love in a unique song”, “that sounds so romantic”, I sighed dreamily.

“You think so?”, he asked, “Yeah, why not?”, “Just imagine someone making a song just for you about their love”.  “Y-Yeah, I guess”, he mumbled, “And so shiny objects, do female birds give them back?”, you asked.

“I-If they accept the courting, they start building a nest in the males territory, and they hide the shiny objects in their nest”, he replied.  

“I know this may sound odd but can you shout, ‘I love you’?”, you asked, something about the dead animals on your doorstep, the hidden objects hidden around your house, and the shouts from outside the house felt like they were all related to them.

“I LOVE YOU”, he shouted without a second thought, “HAH I KNEW IT”, you shouted, “Your the one leaving all those things on my doorstep, and shouting that outside my window!”, you exclaimed proudly, not even realizing what that meant.

Hawks turned red in almost an instant, from head to toe, “I know I know, I’ma. great detective!”, you said proudly, “So-”, you were cut off by yourself.

“Wait...”.....

“HAWKS!”.

“WHAT?!”

“ARE YOU TRYING TO COURT ME?!”

“MAYBE”

“MAYBE?!”

“WELL IF I SAID YES WOULD YOU LET ME COURT YOU?!”

“OF COURSE”

It all started with your thighs.

The one thing that made him fall in love with you.

Yeah he literally looked at your thighs, fell in love and then went full Sangwoo on anyones kneecaps if they tried to come near you.

[babygirldennis]

This shit is fake bby!!!

Here she is.. My masterpost of all the dumb, illogical bits of info contained within these s15 “leaks” that make me fairly confident they are complete bullshit. It also includes my little tinhat theories that have absolutely no evidence.

I will be putting it all under a Readmore in case you don't want to risk it or if you simply Do Not Care

First up, I'd like to point out that these call sheets repeatedly give very detailed backstories to characters that have few lines which conveniently paints a picture of each episode's plot. And I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong, but after looking at other similar casting calls, they only ever include the demographic and necessary skills.

Basically who in their right mind would write up casting calls that give away so many spoilers? Seems like that could cause and issue if they were leaked lol. But anyway that's my 1st point. But onto the actual content

So the conceit of this episode as a whole is that during the pandemic, the gang "gamed the system" and received three (3!) Loans to start businesses that went bankrupt. One of these businesses is implied to be the one started by dee and charlie who end up selling to Qanon shaman. Already this is so impossible baby.

1. We've already seen the gang try to get a loan and it didn't work. They don't have good ideas. Ur telling me, they managed to finagle 3 separate loans for 3 separate business ideas from an actual bank?

2. Maybe I just have bad reading comprehension but how does one have a business that is both fictitious and bankrupt?

3. If the customer is supposed to be Qanon shaman, an actual real life guy, why are the only descriptors white and male? They say he's shirtless so are they going to paint on all of the tattoos he has? And if so, doesn't that kind of ruin the dramatic reveal when charlie "throws in" the viking helmet? Why would he do that anyways? Sus.

Moving on

Alright this episode would fucking blow for obvious reasons but im going to refrain from looking at this through my gay dennis thruther lens because im biased.

Purely from a narrative standpoint, a woman hasn't been shown to be interested in dennis in nearly 5 years during the wade boggs episode. Ever since, every single woman he approaches has been actively creeped out by him. And now I'm supposed to believe that 3 "smart, passionate woman" (In Their Twenties!!!!!!) agreed to go on a date with him? And Anna even slept with him! Just because he what? Agreed with her? I'm not buyin it.

Plus the concept of this scenario lacks any potential for comedy. When iasip gets political, they always discuss a very specific topic using hyperbolic situations and flawed metaphors. If this is supposed to be a political episode, what ultimately lukewarm point would rob be trying to make here? So far we know they're ranting about

The patriarchy

Privilege

Socialism

No more personal responsibility(?)

The... nature of power in society(??)

How on earth would an episode like get approved? This shit sounds like a Ted talk. It sounds like it was written specifically to sound like a political episode so boring and pointless it would generate outrage and mile long essay posts from Tumblr users and reddit users alike. Almost like this one lol.

On a completely unrelated note, do not try and convince me that Frank "casual cock ring wearer" Reynolds is unable to perform.

Jeez this is getting out of hand fast. Let's move on

Ok now we're starting to getting into the Ireland of it all. Let me go on a bit of a tangent here about all this.. Now I thinq there are just 3 possibilities. Either this is all a publicity stunt and there is some truth to the Ireland rumors, the entire thing could be bogus from some weirdo fan (ps, if a fan did write this I want you to know I fucking hate you. You did this to me), or it is a publicity stunt but Ireland is just more bullshit.

I am going to assume it was a publicity stunt, otherwise I just wasted my entire evening and I can't have that kind of mentality rn. Additionally, I'm Going to tinhat here for a second and say that the Ireland rumors are true, but the details are different.

I say this because if they were going to do filming in Ireland, they probably figured that that information would be impossible to hide. In essence, my completely unfounded hypothesis is that this leak was their fucked up little way of controlling the situation while simultaneously messing with us.

Ok tangent is over, returning to the casting calls. From the looks of it, dee starts a "scam" acting class and has some very devoted students (Note that Tony was also the name of the porn shop owner. Seems weird!) Presumably after the gang replaces her with a monkey as the title suggests.

Honestly, there isn't too much here that's a red flag to me... seems like a nice little dee-centric episode that is the link to the Dublin angle. Assuming I am At All right, this could be a genuine plotline for Dee. However, the monkey could be a red herring and there could be a whole different side plot with the guys. who's to say. Next one!

Ah yes this is the dennis we all know and despise.. no red flags for me here really, I'm also running out of steam because idk if it shows, but I am majorly sleep deprived atm. Anyway I'm going to the next one

Okay this is where things start getting weird again ough a migraine just hit, anyway back to my earlier point about how casting calls would never contains major spoilers bc the people who see these wont be under any kind of NDA..

These ones reveal that bonnie dies. Again, that info wouldn't be in a casting call.

But also they suggest charlie has a irish penpal named Shelley who is his biological father. First off charlie is illiterate, although as pointed out by @undeadbreeze shelley could also be communicating in symbols. However, this scenario is still unbelievable to me for a couple reasons:

1. Bonnie's last name is Kelly obviously, and we know it's her maiden name because Jack's last name is also Kelly. But Shelley's last name is... also Kelly? In the context of this big ol hoax, it feels like it was written to show that look! his last name is the same as charlie's! That's how you know that's his dad! But It would be way too big of a coincidence if charlie's dad happened to have the same last name bonnie.

And 2. There's the whole mystery of charlie's long-lost sister from 'charlie got molested' but never any mention of a brother which according to this, shelley has been pretending to be his brother for years. And we all know how much rcg loves their continuity, it seems uncharacteristically lazy to just tack this on without any prior buildup.

And finally let me talk about mac for a second and specifically the line in gus's summary "both are gay men who are attracted to the priesthood for all the wrong reasons"

Iasip has commented on pedophilia in the priesthood many times in the past which leads me to believe that they are implying that mac is a pedophile? Please let me know if I completely misread the implications of that statement, but if not, then that is completely insane and one of the biggest indictators that this is fake. Mac is awful, just like everyone in the gang but he is definitely not a pedophile.

However even if i did completely misread that, it's still proof this is fake.. For all his faults, Rob put a surprising amount of care and effort into mac's coming-out. It hasn't been perfect, but Mfhp in particular firmly established that mac's faith is integral to his identity so Its unlikely that rob would throw all of that away for a cheap shot at priests.

Ok my brain is irradiated sludge at this point, but in conclusion. I hope that 1. I'm right, at least about it being fake (Otherwise damb that'll be so humiliating for me) And 2. This eases ur fears a bit. I don't want to lose all faith in future seasons bc I love iasip and miss the gang. If you read this far youre insane but I literally love you so goddamn much because I spent so so long tapping this out on my silly little phone

Please feel free to add on or message me your thoughts and opinions I need to know I'm not the only one who uhhh went a bit insane. And finally: whoever made these is a cunt. Mwah.

[spookydrreid]

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: THE BAU

Pairing: Unsub!Spencer Reid x fem!Reader

Content Warnings: being hit on, mentions of drugs, flirting, talk of 'the handmaids tale', anger, name calling (whore, slut, skank), murder, an arrest, reader is very angry. (let me know if I missed anything)

Word Count: 2.2k

[Series Masterlist] - [Previous Chapter] - [Next Chapter]

........

“Jack and Coke,” I shouted to the bartender to be heard over the ridiculously loud music. I lean against the bar with a bored look on my face. But I’m not bored. In fact, I’m practically vibrating at what’s going to happen tonight. I can feel Spencer’s eyes on me from across the bar, watching me to incase he needs to intervein. But he wont have too. I’m capable of taking care of this myself, but the sentiment is appreciated.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing here all alone?” Victim #1 places a hand on the small of my back, a little too close to my ass if you ask me. I resist the urge to shudder. His hands are rough and heavy, nothing like the soft and sweet of my Spencer.

I grip my drink, placing my hand over the top of it; the last thing I wanted was to be drugged by a man who wasn’t Spencer. I plaster on my sweetest, most innocent smile before turning to face him.

I size him up quickly. He’s tall, I’d say about 5’11. He has the eyes the color of the ocean on a sunny day, and hair that matches the shore. He’s attractive, but it’s the forgettable type. He’s nothing even close to my Spencer. No one compares to Spencer.

“Long day! I needed a little pick me up,” I smile as I hold up my drink. He smirks, his eyes scanning my body, drinking me in as if I was the beer in his hand. I continue, “what about you?”

He sighs, “heartbreak. You know, the typical.”

Liar. This man was pathetic. Sympathy wasn’t usually my game. But, tonight, it was. “Well, she’s pretty fucking stupid to let a man like you go.” I lean in, letting the distance between us shorten and my hand gently caress his arm. I lock eyes with Spencer from over the man’s shoulder, he looks pissed and I know its because someone else is holding my attention for the time being.

“What’s you name, sweetheart?”

I shudder at the thought of giving him my real name. So, I don’t. “Serena,” I hold out my hand and hold back a shiver as he shakes it. His handshake is firm, and I’d say he does this a lot. I’d say he probably has a job where handshakes mean something? Finance? Business? Damn, Spencer’s rubbing off on me.

“Jepson. You have a beautiful name,” his smile was bright. Too bright to be real.

I smiled back at him, batting my eyelashes, “thank you. I was named after Serena Joy. The mistress from ‘The Handmaids Tale,’” I watched him sip his drink as he digested what I’d just said.

Serena Joy was an absolute anomaly. She could go from sweet and caring, to absolute devil in two seconds flat. When she didn’t get her way, she would lie. And when it all goes to shit, she burns down the house and points the finger at the others.

I guess I wasn’t like that. Not yet at least. But I knew I could be capable of something like that. Burning down the metaphorical house so I could get my way, just to turn around and point the finger at those who are in power. Even if it cost me said finger. Or my life.

“You’re mother sounds like a smart woman. Though, I find you are nothing like Mrs. Waterford. You’re more like… Janine or June.” Jepson’s comparisons brought my attention back to him.

Handmaids. That’s who those women were. Seen as nothing but sex objects; wombs to hold the fetuses that the wives couldn’t. Is that how he saw me? Just a womb? An object?

I wanted to throw up. Spencer would never talk to me like this. His compliments were more thought out and beautiful. My Spencer would never compare me to women who are seen as objects. And I know, I know, June and Janine are fighters, but still. My Spencer would never. I looked for him then, looking for the man who owned every part of me. I found him in the same space as before. But this time he wasn’t alone. No, this time, he was sat next to a blonde-haired skank of a girl. She was definitely younger than me. Probably used a fake ID to even get in here. And she was all over him.

I watched as her hands ran down his chest and over his arms. How she threw her head back laughing at everything he said. I noticed the way she shifted so that her dress would ride up on her thighs. Like I said, skank. Whore. Slut.

“Are you okay?” Jepson asked, moving so he caught my eyes. I’m not sure how I managed, but I plastered the sweetest smile to my face.

“Perfectly fine. I actually have some business to attend too. But it was so nice to talk to you.” I didn’t give him a chance to answer before I pushed past him, practically stomping my way over to Spencer.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing,” my tone was cold and bitter as I approached. Spencer’s eyes growing wide at the sight of me. “Who the fuck is this?”

The whore dropped her hand and looked at me with disgust, “Taylor. And you are?” She spoke to me like I was scum. Like I was nothing more than gunk on the bottom of her stiletto. But she didn’t know me, she didn’t know what I was capable of. Especially when it came to Spencer. I would do anything to keep him with me.

“His fucking girlfriend,” I was ready to rip her off of him. If she wanted to become a corpse, I was happy to make it happen.

“Well, looks like you aren’t a very good one if you left him alone that long,” her smile was sarcastic and the head tilt made my blood boil. I was going to fucking kill her. She had sealed her fate.

I scoffed, “why don’t you meet me outside and we can talk about it out there?”

“Pup, don’t.” Spencer’s eyes were a warning, but I was too far gone. My mind was made up and I was ready to play God with the girl to his left.

“Shut the fuck up, Spencer. She can make her own choices.” I spat. I turned on my heel and started walking, knowing she was going to follow me. And I was right once I made it outside. Her heels clicked obnoxiously on the concrete as she followed me into the alley way beside the bar.

“Y/N you cannot do this! She didn’t do anything!” His voice echoed through the night and chilling my spine. But I didn’t care. She was the one who messed with the wrong bitch.

“I can do whatever I want, Spencer. She asked for this,” and before he could protest, I pulled the trigger. Right between her pathetic blue eyes. The ‘thump’ of her pathetic body hitting the ground was like kindling on a fresh fire, burning up and remaining sanity and sympathy left inside me. She deserved this. She’d done this to herself.

“Are you fucking crazy! You just killed her out in the fucking open! Are you fucking crazy?!” Spencer was quietly yelling at me, but I didn’t miss the flickering of pride in his eyes. He was proud of me. He was proud that he’d dissolved the girl I was before him. The weak, pathetic, scared little girl who wanted nothing more than to hide away and die. He saved me.

“She deserved it. You never know who you’re messing with. She should’ve been more careful and maybe she’d still be fucking breathing. I looked down at the lifeless girl at my feet. “Fucking pathetic excuse of a life.”

“You’re fucking crazy, pet. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find it hot.” His words where gasoline on the flame, the fire roaring into my blood as the whores pooled at our feet. I pulled him in for a heated kiss then.

Our tongues danced as our feet grew redder with our victim’s blood. I knew we were made for each other. That in some cosmic way, he was sent to me. I’d like to think my mother sent him to me, to help make me the girl she knew I was capable of being. It didn’t matter if I was a killer, I know she was proud.

We were so enraptured with each other, that we didn’t hear the sirens. We were deaf to the world around us. Nothing else existed. But Spencer pulled away suddenly and I saw the fear etched in his features as the sirens got louder.

“Fuck! Fuck! You have to go, pet! Take this and go!” The sirens rang louder and louder. And I felt like I was going to throw up.

“No! If we go down, we go down together. That’s what you said!” I felt the tears sting my eyes as I silently begged him to come with me.

He just shook his head, “go, pup! Listen to me for once and go! I’ll come back to you! I promise. They cant keep me away from you. Get rid of the gun and talk to no one. Do you understand me?”

“Spencer, please! I-I cant do this without you! I cant-“ the voices rang out around us and I knew time was running out. I had to go now, or I would really never see him again.

He pulled me in for a bruising kiss. I couldn’t help but feel like we were saying goodbye. I guess we were, but I refused to fully believe it. How was I supposed to do this without him? I didn’t know how to be on the run without him.

“I love you, pup. So fucking much. Now, go! I’ll be okay! I promise! This isn’t goodbye. Do you hear me?” His thumbs rubbed my face as he spoke. But it didn’t stop my heart from shattering. Because I’d done this. Me. I fucked this up. I was so fucking stupid.

“I love you. And i-I’m so sorry. I love you, Spencer. Please, make it back to me.” I sniffled.

He kissed me again, “I will, pet. I will. Now, carry your shoes, and go.”

I stepped out of my shoes, picking them up before booking it down the alley way. I was lucky I could get out that way. I hid behind one of the dumpsters knowing if I made it to the streets that I would be caught. But it also meant that I watched every moment of the scene in front of me.

“Put your hands up, Spencer!” a raven haired woman shouted, her gun drawn. “Get on your fucking knees!” I could hear the cracking of her voice as Spencer dropped in front of her.

“God, Spencer!” a darker man shouted. “We could’ve saved you, kid. You didn’t have to do this! We would’ve helped you.” I covered my mouth to choke back the sob.

Spencer just laughed, “where were you ten years ago? Huh? I needed you then and you fucked me.”

A blonde woman, the same one from the broadcast, JJ, patted him down in search of weapons. But she found none. Because I had it. And when she was satisfied, she pulled a pair of cuffs from her pocket, roughly grabbing each of Spencer’s hands and cuffing them behind him.

“Spencer Reid, you are under arrest for the murder of 29—um—30 innocent people,” she made him stand, “you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will, be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand the rights I have read to you?”

Her voice was sad, and I couldn’t help but want to kill her too. How could she be so upset when she was one of the fucks who caused this? She was one of the assholes who turned her back on him. They all did.

“You know I do, Jennifer.” He had no emotion in his voice.

“Spence… why did you do this? Why didn’t you come to me?” she was crying now. It was pathetic. They all were pathetic.

“I didn’t do anything, Jennifer.”

I watched as they led him away without another word. My face was wet with silent tears. The BAU had caught him, and now, I was alone. The people who had made Spencer who he was had caught him, because of me. Because I didn’t listen to him.

“Stop fucking crying,” I said to myself. “You’re better than this. Spencer taught you better. You need to finish what he started. Make them pay. All of them. Make them sorry they ever fucked with him. Kill them. All of them.”

Kill them.

All of them.

Kill them.

All of them…

......

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