#and she's already suffered more than most of them could ever imagine

[natequarter]

#I’m never not thinking about just how young she is to have gone through everything she has #she’s either not even or barely 200 when she first regenerates #and she’s probably only around 400 when she becomes president #she’s so so young #and she has to deal with the weight of an entire planet on her shoulders #and everything with etra prime #and I wonder how much of this is public knowledge #do the time lords know their president is that young #when they find out are they just a little bit horrified #especially with the fact that they probably did very little to relook for her after she got captured by the daleks #people were probably like oh well #at least she went somewhere in life and then they learn that she barely lived any of her life to begin with

romana is so young in comparison to most time lords in power and regenerates so quickly. like. imagine their faces when she gives her age (idk, 300 years or something) and they go hah! why should i listen to you? you've never even regenerated! and she's like well actually, and horrifies everyone around her

[lexsssu]

Beast (Dion Agriche)

TAGS: Dion/Dragoness!reader, pining, pervy thoughts, breeding, oneshot Ao3 ver. | Ko-fi | Commissions (OPEN)

This place felt…sad.

The towering manse was objectively magnificent and yet an air of gloom seemed to envelop the very air that passed through the exquisite halls. Though perhaps it could be attributed to the unmistakable metallic scent that hung heavily within almost every corner of the estate. 

Whether it was the main courtyard, the gardens, or from deeper within, the darkness that settled over the entire structure was like a shroud of death that beckoned victims to fall into the sweet embrace of oblivion. It’s only through luck however, that they can either meet a swift end or a drawn out and miserable one. 

Judging from the melancholic or downright pained expressions upon the ghostly specters that roamed the area, it’s safe to say that this was a place of great suffering and tragedy. None of the actual living occupants could see them, most especially that man whose soul harbored an impressive amount of corruption for a human. No matter how many angry spirits clung to him in hopes of dragging his soul straight out of his body in order to enact their just revenge, each death done or ordered by his hand only seemed to further the taint. 

It’s almost as if he drew power from the lives he’d stolen.

He wasn’t the only one who attracted the attention of the restless souls. The man’s children who tried to follow in his footsteps also had a trail of bodies before them even before they could be called adults. Even one of his wives, a seemingly spritely woman with doll-like features, took lives as easily as getting rid of unpleasant pests.

In conclusion, this family is as cursed as the land they had stained with rivers of blood over the years.  

Much to your surprise however, not every Agriche shared a penchant for senseless murder. One of the eldest living daughters (Roxana) only had a single ghost following her and even then, the ghostly image of the teen boy didn’t seem to want to tear her limb from limb like all the others. Rather, he followed after her much like a puppy who only wanted to keep up with her pace. Sadly, the blonde never seemed to take notice of the boy who bore remarkably similar features with her even as he tried to reach his hand out to touch her. 

For she lives within the plane of the living, while he now resided in between life and death, unable to move on due to regrets or some other unfinished business you didn’t know of.  

The question is…are you content with staying as a mere observer?

The blonde youth perks up the moment he realizes you can see him, sheer relief brimming from every pore within his spectral body when you speak your first words to him. He is rich with the secrets Lante Agriche fights tooth and nail to prevent from ever seeing the light of day. 

A lonely boy becomes lonely no more and a displaced dragoness finds that becoming lost wasn’t too bad when you have good company around you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dion doesn’t dream.

Considering the amount of blood that stained his rough hands, it is better that he only descends into nothingness whenever he rests his eyes, for one could only imagine what horrors lay in wait to torment him for all the atrocities he’d committed. He’s not afraid of the ghosts of his victims, but rather finds it useless to think of flames that had already been snuffed out when they could no longer influence the living in any way.

But then something changes.

He feels a soft, warm touch that gently traces the length of his nose, cups the sharp angles of his face, and even delves into his dark locks. Though his eyes remain closed, his own subconscious supplies him with the image of hands much smaller than his own large ones that poked and prodded at him without fear. 

While he would have caught the appendages and mayhaps stuck a knife into anyone who decided to lay their hands upon him, Dion knows that this could only be a dream because who would even dare to caress him so gingerly in the middle of night within the Agriche’s own manor? If anything, he finds his dreamself to commit to memory the feeling of such a gentle touch being bestowed upon him, because rationally he knows that he has no need for softness. In the confines of his own subconscious however, he supposes that he can allow himself this at the very least.

When he wakes up at the crack of dawn, it is to open windows with its blinds fluttering as the morning breeze makes its way to his room, bringing with it not just the familiar scent of iron that seemed to permanently surround the place he’d grown up in. 

Though he cares not for flowers specifically, he does have knowledge on their practical uses such as poisons and the like. He also prefers knowing the native flora and fauna of the hunting grounds he’d be thrown into in order to get a better grasp of the terrain.

Blooming honeysuckles make his brows furrowed in confusion despite his stone-cold exterior, confused as to how and why such a scent overpowered the ever present iron tang in the air. 

Curiouser and curiouser.

Dion remains oblivious to the shared laughter between a woman with ivory in her hair and a boy whose eyes reflected the deep, bright expanse of the open sky as they watched him stick his head out of his windows to locate the origin of the oddity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“YOU...”

“...Me?”

Dion feels his body practically burning from the inside-out, his heart beating several miles per minute as he finally gets a good look of the poltergeist that haunts his nights. He remembers the tender touches you press against his skin, the warm caresses that leave him gasping for breath and his loins aching for sweet release by the time he’s released from your clutches once dawn has broken. 

He does not need your sweetness.

He has no use for your gentleness.

And yet he craves it.

He has never desired anything. 

He has never felt so strongly about anything other than the swish of his blade, the gurgling of his victims, and the blood splattered against the ground as another mark of his martial prowess.

And yet you drove him to become more of a feral beast than he ever was as he now wished for nothing else other than to possess your whole being just as you possessed him without even meaning to.

“...are MINE”

Your surprised squeak is music to his ears, the flush on your cheeks pleasing the beast that sought to have you pressed down on the ground and taken ruthlessly, flooding your fertile womb with his virile seed...

.

.

.

To be continued(?)

[powerpuffobsession]

The whole Eden Lucifer-Adam-Lilith-Eve situation is kinda creepy. I see serious groomer undertones in it, given the difference in Lucifer's and humans' life experience (and to extent, maturity) at the moment

Imagine that you are an adult experienced angel who is present during the making of Eden and the birth of first humans. You also apparently want a wife. And to be a part in creation of Eden. What do you do? Find some female angel to marry and live your life with? Find an actually helpful way of working alongside elder angels?

Nope, instead you meddle with the lives of newborn and inexperienced humans in the most destructive way possible.

You could have helped them sort out their disagreements and actually taught them proper ways to behave. But you don't. You groom the naive female human into trusting you and then you encourage her cheating on the male human, causing trauma and insecurities to corrupt his personality in his first few years of living (the most influential in shaping a person's mentality). Thus you become partly responsible for the vengeful monster he will become in the future

More than that, you take away the female human's chance to live safely in paradise or on earth. Because of aiding you in your not-so-well-thought-out-plan (she didnt have any other choice, you and the male human were the only company she had), she is doomed to be allowed to only live in hell the rest of her life. And you knew that no one in heaven was going to give her the benefit of the doubt

As icing on the cake, you don't stop just on grooming and encouraging cheating, you don't leave the male human alone after you've already did him dirty and abandoned him... you come back and corrupt his new wife for some unclear reason (because your "whimsical" ideas of how you'd do a project elder angels know better how to carry out, are never even elaborated upon).

As a result, you doom not only these three babies in adult bodies but also the entire humanity to a terrifying life of fighting sinful outbursts, suffering, surviving, dying and risking ending up in hell where they'll be suffering for an eternity

I'm not sure if writers will ever hold Lucifer accountable for all this in a proper way. Probably not. But thinking about how much he fucked over first three humans makes me wish more depression on him

At this point, Lilith leaving Lucifer is not surprising. Imagine if after maturing and gaining life experience (and already giving birth to Charlie) she realized how her husband was practically using her. That could be why she left after doing her job of raising Charlie until she became an adult that can survive on her own

(I mean, it could be true if hazbin hotel was good at having the characters live through consequences of their actions and not just making Adam a scapegoat who is supposedly like Stella v 2.0 - evil ever since he was born and already inventing patriarchy with his very first breath. Like, all humans are selfish jerks when they are newborn - that's what parenting is for, shaping something more pleasant out of all that selfishness) (notice how the writing only focuses on how Adam was "bad" back in Eden)

(That also gives me a reason to judge angels in general - just a few narrative details really show how little they cared about the first humans' wellbeing and future. It's their fault too that Lilith ended up in hell and had to make some sort of deal to get a chance to visit her home/ Adam became an immature mentally unstable murderer/ and Eve... dunno, we haven't seen her yet)

[imaginetheonewith]

The one where Y/N gets jealous

Pairing: Joey Tribbiani x f!reader

Warnings: none (I think)

Author's note: It was not easy to imagine reader in the "Friends" universe, but .. hey! I tried my best and I do hope you all enjoy it. The lack of fanfiction about this tv show is criminal x

Red.

That is all could see in front of you at this moment. But it was not the type of red that you see when you are in love and the world seems to suddenly become a better place.

Oh no, it was way worse than that. It was the bright crinkly red, which was currently barely covering the tall blonde’s chest from lustful eyes. Or more specifically Joey’s.

“You know”, Chandler’s voice sounded next to you, “If you keep staring at her for 30 more seconds her head may catch fire. Or preferably that tight, low-cut…”

Your head whipped towards him and he quickly raised his hands in defence.

“… shoes!”, he cleared his voice, while pointing aggressively towards the girl’s feet, “These tight, low-cut shoes! Burn them! Burn them!”

Rolling your eyes, you turned your attention back to the bar, where Joey was shamelessly flirting with his ex, Angela. She was a beautiful and lean part-time actress, with an amazing fashion style, and wild blond locks. She was also the only girl who managed to keep Joey in a relationship for more than a few weeks. 3 years, to be exact.

It was not a secret that you did not harbor any warm feelings toward her. Not only did she break your best friend’s heart, but she was also the only one of his girlfriends that managed to catch on to your feelings towards him and use any chance she got to remind you that you will always remain stuck in the friend zone. It was almost as if she enjoyed inflicting pain on people around her and seeing them suffer.

“I can’t believe he is still talking with her”, you groaned, clapping your hands on your tights, “Look at him laughing! What could she say that is so funny?”

You didn’t wait for a response, before turning towards Chandler and pulling the newspaper away from his hands.

“Sure, I was totally done reading that”, he fake-smiled at you while grabbing his cup of coffee. His sarcastic remark went right above your head, as you grabbed his hands and squeezed them in yours.

“Chandler, you are one of the most, most special and valuable people in my life!”

“Well, I do have this effect on people”, he winked at you, while getting himself in a more comfortable position. You smiled with tightly pressed lips, doing your stop any smart remark that was sitting at the end of your tongue.

“And I would do anything… well, almost anything for you. Because I believe that when I need your help, you will do the same for me and-“

“Is it by any chance my birthday today?”, he interrupted you with a suspicious glare and you had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes, “Because the Y/N I know is never, ever so nice, unless he wants something and-“

He paused for a second, his face falling with realization. He quickly pulled his hands away from you and pointed an accusing finger at your face.

“NO! Whatever is going in that pretty head of yours, I am not going to do it.”

Chandler tried to get from his seat, but you were quick to lay down and throw your legs over his, trapping him in his place.

“You didn’t even listen to me!”

“I don’t have to”, his words were mumbled through a fake smile and squinted eyes, “I already know what you are thinking. And I am not going to do it.”

You raised your eyebrow, challenging him:

“What I am thinking? Maybe I just want to show you how much I love you as a friend…”

“And also send me to the bar, so I can eavesdrop on Joey and Angela.”

“Damn, you’re good”, you mumbled under your breath, finally releasing your friend from your leg trap. Your head fell in your hands and you closed your eyes in a weak attempt to stop yourself from thinking about the couple just a few feet away from you.

There was no reason to feel like this. You knew Joey for over 6 years now and you’ve been best friends for just as long. You two became close almost immediately after Chandler introduced you to each other and much to everyone’s surprise, including yours, the actor never showed even a slight romantic interest towards you. On the other hand, you fell head over heels for him from the moment you met him. His charming smile, flirty jokes, and kind soul made you overlook all his bad qualities, and “red flags” Monica and Rachel warned you about. Sure, he did have a bit of a reputation with the ladies, but seeing how loyal was he toward his friends, you knew that he was capable of commitment.

He just needed to find his woman. His one true soulmate, who would love him and cherish him the way he deserves.

What wouldn’t you give to be this one woman?

“Hey”, Chandler tried to catch your attention, while his hands started rubbing small circles on your back, “It’s going to be okay.”

Besides Joey, Chandler was your second closest friend. Before he moved to his current apartment, he was briefly your roommate and with both of you being new to the city, it didn’t take long for you to form a strong bond. From being children of divorced couples to having a career in statistical analysis and not-so-lucky love life, you two lived almost identical lives. It was not a surprise you often found comfort in each other, knowing that there is no other person who can understand you better than him.

Just as you were leaning back towards Chandler’s shoulder, Joey jumped on the sofa next to you with a wide smile on his face.

“You won’t believe who I am having dinner with tonight!”

“Winona Ryder?”, Chandler tried to guess and you bit a smile. Joey on the other hand did not find the remark funny, rolling his eyes instead.

“Remember Angela? My ex-girlfriend? The one that I thought I am going to marry because we were dating for so long?”

“How could we forget her?”, you mumbled under your nose, crossing your arms in front of your chest, “She is very…. memorable.”

Joey eyed you with furrowed brows, his eyes stopping at your shoulder, where Chandler’s hand was still gently massaging you. He let out a scoff, before moving to his favorite chair next to the bar. He knew that you and Angela had a bit of a strained relationship in the past, but he was hoping that you would at least try to act excited for him, instead of being all cozy with his roommate.

“Wow”, he breathed out, “Still jealous, I see.”

His words made you freeze in place, your cup of coffee just millimeters from your lips. Chandler tensed next to you and while you could not see, you were sure he was mouthing something to Joey. You slammed your cup on the table and turned towards the actor, only to find him glaring at you.

“Excuse me?”

“Look, Y/N, I know you girls love to be competitive and compare to each other all the time…”, he stayed silenced for a second, his hands moving in slow circles in front of him as if it was helping him gather his thoughts quicker, “But there is no reason to feel that way towards Angela. You know you will always be my best friend. Nobody will change that.”

You let out a dry laugh, turning towards Chandler, who was watching the happening with wide eyes. He shook his head as a warning for you to not continue this conversation, but he quickly realized your mind was already set when you shook his arms away from you and stood from your place.

“Is this what you think? You think I feel threatened by Angela?”

“Well, I did not use exactly that word…”, Joey mumbled, trying his best to avoid your furious gaze. The regret of saying anything was already clear on his face. If he could turn back time by just a few minutes, he would’ve just kept his mouth shut and enjoyed a nice quiet afternoon with both of his closest friends.

You, on the other hand, were not about to let this go so easily. Jealous? Of Angela? Pffftttt. Pushing your hair behind your ears, you tried your best to keep your voice low and not startle all of Central Perk’s clients.

“Joey, as your best friend, I can assure you that not even a cell in my body feels threatened by that manipulative and sly snake.”

“Okay, you are just being mean now”, the feeling of regret quickly vanished and his eyes hardened in a glare, “What is your problem?”

Before you can even open your mouth to reply, Chandler jumped between both of you and raised his palms towards both yours and Joey’s mouth, preventing you from saying anything further.

“Ah, this is exactly how my parents were acting just before they got divorced”, he made a disgusted face when the memory flashed in front of his eyes. He turned towards Joey, “We are happy about you, Joey. All of us. But… you know… we all remember what Angela did to you.”

“She’s changed”, Joey whined with a high-pitched voice, earning another mocking laugh from you. This gesture immediately resulted in his features becoming serious once again, “You know what… I don’t care if you approve of Angela or not. I love her and I will not give her up. I know she is the one and we will be together… once she breaks up with Bob.”

“Bob?”, Chandler moved his hands away as if burned, “Who is Bob?”

Joey opened his mouth but then closed it again when he didn’t get the courage to say anything. For you, however, it was enough to confirm your suspicion.

“This is ridiculous!”, you groaned, “She has a boyfriend and she is still trying to get in bed with you. She is using you, Joey! I can’t even believe you are agreeing to take her out on dinner!”

“It’s not like I am taking only her. I am taking Bob as well!”

“Oh, that’s great. So all three of you can be one big happy… throuple.”, you grabbed your coffee cup and matched towards the bar, where Gunther was not even trying to hide his interest towards your argument.

“I don’t mean I am going to go out with both of them”, Joey argued, looking at Chandler to check if he agrees, “You don’t think I am trying to get both of them, right?”

Chandler just shrugged his shoulders in response, too scared to get any more involved.

“I am going to ask Monica to come with me, so it’s like a double date. That way I keep Angela for myself and Monica can keep Bob.”

“Monica?”, the name fell as a surprised yell from your lips, “Why not me?”

Joey let out a scoff as if you were asking the stupidest question he ever heard, “Well, you and Angela do not get along well… And also I don’t think Bob is going to be your type.”

The last sentence made you raise your eyebrows and you crossed your arms in front of your chest. A tiny voice inside your head was telling you to not dwell on his remark and leave instead before you do something that can ruin your friendship forever. However, your bruised ego could not handle Joey having the last word in this.

“What do you even know about “my type”? For all you know, Bob may be exactly the man of my dreams.”

“Yeah, right”, he laughed under his nose, directing his attention toward the sandwich Gunther just brought, “The guy is a dog food tester. How can that be your soulmate?”

“Well once I thought my soulmate is always an out-of-job actor”, you stomped towards the coat hanger, grabbing your coat and purse, “So how much worse can a dog tester be?”

Without sparing even a glance towards them, you made your way outside, ignoring Chandler’s calls. You didn’t know where you were going or what were you going to do. All you knew is you just need to be alone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days passed since your and Joey’s argument and you have not seen each other since. Despite your friends telling you it is valid to feel the way you feel, you couldn’t help but feel guilty about the way you reacted. It was unreasonable to expect that he would not pursue a woman he clearly had feelings for, just because of your opinion of her. You wanted him to be happy, even if it was with someone who was not you.

Still, it hurt. Not only the idea of him being to another woman but also the fact that you certainly ruined your friendship. You did not realize what slipped past your lips before you left the coffee shop that day till Chandler came to your apartment later and informed you of the talk he and Joey just had.

The actor did hear you and did put two and two together “surprisingly quickly”, as Chandler described it, which lead to a big argument between the two. On one hand, Joey thought it was unacceptable that you kept this secret for so long from him, instead of just talking. On the other hand, Chandler thought he was judging you unfairly and was unhappy with the fact that Joey still went ahead with the date with Angela.

It seemed that everyone heard about what happened the same day, as later that night Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe all showed up with some Chinese takeaway and five boxes of ice cream. You appreciate that they all showed up for you, but you could not shake away the tight feeling of anxiousness in your chest. You needed to know how the date went and if Joey and Angela were back together, and the only way to find out was to speak to Monica.

Now, finally being the weekend, both of you were off work and eager to catch up with each other. Sitting on the floor in her living room, you ate homemade biscuit cake and spilled gossip about the events from the past week.

“I would’ve never agreed to go with him if I knew all the details” Monica exclaimed, “He told me they were siblings. And I did believe him, till I saw her tongue in his ear. It was disgusting!”

You choked a laugh and quickly covered your mouth, trying to keep the food inside. Apparently, Joey told Monica Bob was Angela’s brother in order to convince her to go on a double date with them. And while they did manage to break the “happy” couple and keep the pieces to themselves, Monica was far from impressed by Bob’s performance in bed and has decided to not see him anymore. Listening to her detailed story from that night, you could not judge her at all.

You finally swallowed your bite and were about to respond, when the door opened, and the man you least wanted to see came into the kitchen.

“Hey Monica, I know you said to not bother you tonight, but we have no beers left and… Y/N?!”

Joey froze in his place next to the fridge, his eyes dancing between you and the dark-haired woman. Monica has told them to stay away from her flat earlier, but he has just assumed she was having a date over. He definitely did not expect to see you.

“Y/N, um… What are you… uhm.. doing here?”, he shuttered and you had to bite your lip in order to stop a smile from spreading on your face. Flustered Joey was a rare, but cute sight.

You quickly jumped on your feet and grabbed your bag from the sofa, giving an awkward smile.

“I was just about to go, actually”, you turned towards Monica and pulled her into a hug, “I will catch up with you soon. Bye, Mon! Bye, Joey!”

You hurried towards the door without sparing your friends a second glance and were almost down the stairs when you heard heavy steps behind you and felt a hand pulling you back by your wrist. You stumbled back, almost losing your balance, before another hand wrapped around your shoulder in order to stable you.  

You looked up only to come face-to-face with Joey, who was staring at you with wide eyes. He was so close his breaths were hitting your face like a warm breeze and almost closed your eyes, trying to save the feeling of closeness in your mind.

“Y/N…”, he whispered, “Listen, I…”

“Yes?”, you tried to push him to finish a sentence, eager to hear what he has to say. There were a million and one things you wanted to tell him, but how could you after you threw away years of friendship in just a few seconds of pure rage? You were simply not ready to talk about it yet.

But did not stop you from trying to hear what he has to say.

“I made a mistake. I should have never gone out with Angela.”

There was a skip of your hearbeat. Were you dreaming? You were sure you did get up from your bed morning, but then again the only times Joet was saying the words 'mistake' and a girl's name in one sentence it was in only in your imagination.

You furrowed your eyebrows and were ready to argue that the only person in this hallway who made a mistake was you, but before you can start talking, he pressed his finger to your lips, shushing you.

“No, let me finish”, he moved his hand away, “I have… I have prepared this speech for a while.”

He got silent for a minute, moving his eyes away from you and focusing on the floor instead.

“I have been in love with you pretty much since the day we met. Your smile, your wit, your beauty… I have never seen another woman like you. And I know you think I didn’t like you, because I’ve never made a move, but I was so scared… You know? And I was trying to forget you by seeking someone else, but I could never do it. All I ever wanted was you. Which hurt, because I knew that I will never be good enough for you and-“

His words were interrupted by your lips on his. A wave of electricity passed through your whole body and you could swear your feet became jelly. His arms circled your waist, pressing you against his hard chest.

 It lasted only a few seconds before you both pulled away with wide eyes. With uneven breathing, you pressed your forehead against his, enjoying the warmth of his hands on your lower back. A small smile broke on your lips and Joey mirrored it.

“Wanna do it again?”, he asked, giving you a wink.

“Absolutely”, you whispered before catching his mouth with yours again.

[strlingsav]

CAN YOU WRITE SOMETHING WITH SOAP FOR ME?

Let's imagine that y/n and Soap have been friends for some years (let's imagine high school) and they have had this sexual tension since then.

If y/n know about him being in the SAS? Your choice, I don't even know if it's possible to tell others. But she knows he's a soldier.

So one night, after task force 141 was sent home for whatever reason, they all meet up and y/n goes too with Soap. All the squad notice this tension between the two of them and they tease them. Let's resume it ahahahah they are a bit tipsy and they end up making up while soap is taking her home...and then she invites him over and, you know

I sure can 😇

Longing

– Johnny "Soap" MacTavish x F!Reader

— Your feelings for your friend develop into something more.

Explicit sexual content under the cut. Read at your own risk.

You ran a pair of flat palms over the hem of your blouse, smoothing any wrinkles or folds, inspecting yourself in the mirror. Johnny's voice, calling for your attention, pulled you away from your reflection.

"Sorry," You answered. "You're sure it's okay I come?" You asked, your phone tucked between your ear and shoulder.

Johnny had returned after more than a few months overseas, and so had his teammates. As if it weren't nerve-racking enough to finally see him again, he was pulling you into a last-minute meeting with a group of soldiers.

Your nerves were jumpy, like live-wires running through your limbs, and although you tried to pass it off as general nervousness, you knew it was seeing Johnny again that was giving you palpitations.

You'd been friends for a long time, seen every side of him you could possibly love or hate, and it wasn't until the last few years that you'd finally come around to acknowledging your feelings for him.

It was a silent longing, sitting on your chest anytime you saw him, talked to him, even when he wasn't around. Your judgement told you he saw you as a friend, nothing more, which made the ever-growing feelings that much harder to overcome.

It was undeniably tense, always had been, especially the few times when you'd bid him goodbye as he left for his work trips. The urge to kiss him, finally taste him and savour the dreamt-of feeling of his lips on yours, had been gnawing at you. There was a build-up of heavy temptation, feelings you ached to get rid of before you embarrassed yourself.

You weren't entirely sure how solid your intuition was- whether it was just that you'd known each other so long, or genuine attraction. Regardless, your feelings had fallen to the back-burner when Johnny left over seas the first time all those years ago, and you'd yet to confront them since.

A part of you wanted to believe it was better that way; his deployments were a stark contrast to the happily-ever-after you'd talked about since you were younger. But the larger, less logical, part of you that knew Johnny well would suffer through it just to be with him.

"Aye," Johnny's voice came through the speaker. "Just a few lads gettin' together for a few drinks. Nothin' serious." There was a pause, long enough to notice but short enough to leave you wondering. "And I've missed you."

Your eyes shut, savouring the way his words sounded. He was talking to you- he missed you.

You nodded to yourself, exhaling. It was shaky, full of concern and worry, and Johnny could feel it. He wanted nothing more than to tuck you under his arm, squeeze in beside you on the couch and spend the night with you- only you- but he wasn't entirely sure if you'd be on board.

He liked the way you looked at him, like he was the funniest man on earth, and possibly the most handsome, but he feared he'd put meaning where there was none. He didn't want to read into your touches and soft parting kisses on his cheek, but it was becoming increasingly difficult not to. Especially with just how badly he craved you- nearly always starving for just an ounce more than you'd give.

"Alright. You're there already?"

He could hear you moving, rustling about your apartment as you gathered your keys and wallet. He imagined the same flustered expression he'd seen so many times before, a small grin overtaking his face.

"Aye," He said again, his tone a bit more sharp than before. "Stop worryin' yourself. There's no rush."

"I'm trying," You grumbled, shutting the door behind you swiftly as you headed down to the street.

He grumbled your name softly, a light chuckle moving away from the receiver. "I'll see you soon."

He didn't give you another moment to question him, quickly hanging up. At the same time, you'd hailed a cab and urged yourself to get in without allowing for anymore anxious deliberation.

You stepped inside the bar not long after, your head on a swivel as you desperately searched for the pitch-black hair and ocean eyes that you knew would inevitably find you.

When he laid eyes on you, for the first time in months, he breathed in deeply. His chest was tight with anxiety, too, noticeable by his robotic movements and short sentences. His squad took notice, but they'd already known for a long time that Johnny had feelings for you. It was obvious, he didn't need to say it.

"Reckon that's her that just walked in?" Ghost spoke up, his eyes landing on Johnny who'd stiffened in his seat.

Johnny paid no mind to him, standing from his seat to wave you over.

Gaz chimed in from the corner of the booth, "How'd you tell?"

"Practically droolin' all over the bloody table."

Johnny ignored his ribbing, watching you step carefully toward him, avoiding the other bodies in the room that were reckless and drunk. The smile on your face had loosened his muscles, and when he wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace, he relaxed into you.

"Good t'see you again," Johnny mumbled against your hair.

"You too," You smiled softly into his chest. "Glad you're in one piece."

Johnny smiled, his hand finding the small of your back as he turned to introduce you to his coworkers. You offered a polite smile, acknowledging the two other men with a soft 'hello' before taking a seat next to Johnny.

He'd taken the liberty of ordering your favourite drink, sitting on the coaster, straw sticking out from the glass. You held back a gracious smile, your eyes meeting his as a show of appreciation when you took a sip.

The conversation between them was entertaining, albeit not entirely understandable given the confidentiality of their work, though the personal anecdotes and light pestering eased your fear of judgement.

Johnny hadn't changed at all- still the outgoing, funny man he left as those months ago, and it relieved you. It was easy to meld into their world, especially once the first impressions were over with.

Gaz turned his attention to you as Johnny rested an arm around your shoulders, his brows lifting with an entertained smirk.

"Johnny's told us quite a bit about you," He interjected. "Feel like I already know you." Gaz's eyes drifted to a Johnny's, who'd given him an icy glare.

"Oh no," You turned your head to meet Johnny's eyes. "What's he told you?"

"Little bit of everything, really."

"Can't get him to the shut the fuck up," Ghost added.

"Piss off," Johnny scoffed.

"Always on about seein' you again," Ghost interjected, ignoring Johnny's command.

Johnny was more than a drink or two away from drunk, but certainly not sober. His cheeks heated up at the mention of how frequently he spoke about you, and though you wanted to believe it was motivated by romantic feelings, you settled for the disappointing notion that it was just the idle conversation he made when he wasn't on duty.

"He is a chatterbox when he's drunk," You nodded, turning your gaze back to Ghost.

"Not just when he's drunk."

You took a sip of your drink, ending the conversation, trying desperately not to fall into the rabbit hole of what-ifs and maybes. You'd been doing it for years now, and it was exhausting. You'd undoubtedly tried to stop, for your own sanity, but it never worked.

"That's true," Your lips formed a tight line, unsure where to take the conversation before it became a source of intrigue for you.

"Enough gosspin', you hens," Johnny scolded, finishing his drink and setting it down with a loud gulp.

You hid a smile, finishing yours and sighing quietly. You checked the time- nearly last call.

"I should head out," You spoke up, clearing your throat as you eyed Johnny.

"Stay for another round," Johnny suggested, his brows furrowing.

You shook your head, "I'm tired, and I'm sure you'd like some time with your friends," You reasoned.

"We've had enough of him," Ghost chimed in. "Take him with you."

You offered a grin, Johnny's eyes narrowing at Ghost before returning to you. He stepped out of the booth, watching you stand before him.

"Let me at least get you home. We can catch up."

"You're sure?"

"Seen enough of these bastards for a lifetime," He teased.

After some polite goodbyes, you walked in stride with Johnny until he opened a cab door for you and slid in beside you.

"Have you talked to your mom?" You asked, your voice louder than intended among the silence of the cab.

"Spoke on the phone a few days ago. She's been pesterin' me to go see her already."

"She misses you," You argued. "She's entitled to her pestering."

"Don't see a lot of pesterin' from you," He quirked up a brow, shifting against the leather seat. "You didn't miss me?"

You rolled your eyes playfully- "I did."

"Hard to believe it."

"Why's that?" Your tone was laced with disbelief, and your eyes glanced to the driver, attempting to lower your voice.

He scoffed, "You've been shyin' away."

"I wasn't shying away," You pursed your lips. "I was nervous."

He knew better than to assume it was because of him- but as your eyes flickered between his, he thought he'd caught a glimpse of longing behind your stone-faced expression. It stoked the fire in his gut that had been burning profusely the entire night.

He shook his head. "You shouldnae pay any mind to Ghost or Gaz."

"They had a lot to say about you," You lifted your head again to find his eyes.

He nodded, "Always takin' the piss."

You tried not to appear disappointed at Johnny's dismissal of their adamance that he'd talked a lot about you. Whether it was true or not, you didn't think you'd ever really know. The lump in your throat was familiar- choking down the feeling of rejection.

The rest of the ride was quiet, with more tension growing between you. Your thigh rubbed against his, locking eyes every few seconds and offering awkward smiles. The air was thick, every moment passing was pure torture as he pressed against you, warmth radiating from his body.

The walk to your apartment door was no different. Unintelligible silence that was brewing a new kind of conversation. You stood outside your door, your eyes meeting for the umpteenth time that night, and Johnny inhaled deeply.

The liquor he'd indulged, combined with seeing you again after months away in less-than desirable conditions made him a bit more susceptible to risky choices. His teeth were nearly chattering as he deliberated whether or not to tell you just how much he did miss you, and wanted you.

He didn't want to lose your friendship- or you in general. If he had to be the one you relied on solely for platonic support, he'd accept it, but he couldn't continue through the unknown without speaking his mind before he lost it.

Watching you, even just as you fiddled with the keys in your hands, made him warm. You made him want to fall to his knees.

He cleared his throat, his hands finding the depths of his pockets as he caught your attention.

"They're not exaggerating," He said. When your brows furrowed, silence following, he continued. "I talk about you a lot. Miss you, a lot."

"I miss you too," You offered, in the most platonic tone you could muster.

He breathed in again, nearly frustrated.

"I cannae get you off my mind," He met your gaze, his eyes vulnerable as he began to unveil the simmering feelings under his skin. "I talk about you 'cause I think about you- all the goddamn time."

Your heart was rushing blood to your ears, utter shock settling in as he finished his last sentence. You were frowning- confused and yet excited at the same time. It was hardly believable that Johnny- the man you'd convinced yourself was just a friend- felt the way he did. The same way you did.

He watched your expression unfold, confusion at first, then your eyes softened, your parted lips closing together.

"You think about me?" You asked, your brows twitching. "What do you think about?"

He nearly laughed. Partially due to the nerves heating his body to an uncomfortable level, and because it was never obvious, to you. He'd been burning to get rid of the weight on his chest, the secret he'd kept for years, the charade he put on when he was with you.

He unintentionally moved in closer, a step in your personal space which forced your back against the door. He stood taller, staring down at you with eyes full of sincerity.

"Everything," He said. He was a bit apprehensive as his hand slid around your waist. "How you smell. Your smile." You were nearly chest to chest, your clueless expression egging him on. "Wonderin' how you taste. What you feel like."

Your breathing increased, rushed breaths of adrenaline fanning over his chest. He had inhaled a deep breath at the mention of feeling you- under him, on top of him, truthfully he didn't care.

"You think of me that way?" You asked.

"Christ," He shook his head, a grin forming. "Man bears his soul to you and you're still askin' questions."

He leaned in, pressing his lips against yours without wasting another moment.

Your body seemed to freeze for a beat, taking a moment to catch up with your mind as you realized he'd kissed you. It was soft and gentle, apprehensive in nature like everything else about that night.

The hand on your waist tightened its grip, pulling you closer when you finally responded to his kiss. Your own hands lifted to his shoulders, wrapping around lazily as he used his other to trap you between himself and the door.

It started light, a bit uncoordinated, testing the waters before they changed to raging waves that sloshed around in your stomach. He tasted like whiskey- smokey and acrid, with alcohol on his tastebuds. He was warm, his hands grabbing whatever part of you they could reasonably hold, desperately pulling you in closer and tighter.

He pulled back shortly after, finding your eyes. "Any other questions?" He teased, a smug grin on his lips.

"Do you wanna come in?" You asked, tucking your lip between your teeth.

He chuckled softly, nodding as you unlocked the door and swung it open. He pushed it closed behind him, yanking his jacket off and letting it fall to the floor as he grabbed your waist.

He pulled you into him again, swiftly lifting you to his hips. You wrapped your legs around him, reattaching your lips to his as he trudged down the hallway to your room, dropping you on your back.

He'd crawled over you, still latched onto him, sliding your tongue against his as he let some of his weight fall onto you. You exhaled harshly against his face, your hands reaching his jaw, pulling him as close as he could get.

His target changed, moving from the plush skin of your lips to the hot flesh of your neck, he left longing kisses to your collarbone.

"You've no idea how long I've been waitin' to kiss you," He muttered against your neck, warm breath fanning your cheek and ear.

Shivers lit up the nerves in your spine, your hands clinging to his shoulders.

"Is that all you've been waiting for?" You whispered against his cheek.

You could feel the smile form over his lips, "Nae."

He lifted his shirt over his head, revealing the physique he'd worked hard to keep from PT into his active service. It made your teeth clench together, taking in the sight of him, following the dark hair from his pectorals to his lower abdomen.

"I have lots o' things I've been waitin' to do to you."

His arms slithered around your thighs, tugging you into his body; you let out a quiet yelp at the sudden movement. His fingers undid the closures of your jeans, sliding them down your legs with ease, discarding them in the dim light of your room.

Your breathing hadn't settled, your head cocking to the side as you watched him crouch between your thighs, licking his lips. You hummed with anticipation.

His calloused palm ran up your thigh, over your stomach to palm your breast. Your chest heaved with excitement and anxiety.

"Take it off," He ordered, glancing up at you.

You met his eyes, snapping back to reality when you realized he was referring to your shirt. Quickly, you tugged it over your head, unclasping your bra before settling on your back.

Your hand inadvertently found the crown of his head, soft fingers running through his hair. He moaned softly, almost a purr as he leaned into your touch. His eyes fell to the lacy fabric of your panties and he sighed.

"Steamin' Jesus- you drive me mad," He groaned, his fingers squeezing around your thighs. "Lie back, doll."

You leaned back, watching with anticipation as he craned his neck, his breath fanning your lower half. His apprehensive tongue found your clit within seconds, causing you to jolt in his grasp. You felt him smile against you, though he didn't allow you time to recuperate as he flicked his tongue against your clit again.

You gasped quietly, tugging gently at his hair, your head falling back as he acclimated to your body and it's reactions.

Every squirming movement, sudden jerk- he held you in place, a strong grip forcing your thighs apart while he devoured you. You hadn't expected the ambition from Johnny, and were pleasantly surprised when he kept you spread open before him, his nose bumping against your pubic bone, his tongue gliding over your clit, his lips surrounding the sensitive flesh of your pussy.

"Johnny," You whispered, broken and whimpering, a show of gratitude.

He mumbled against you, lost in the sweet revelations that were your moans and gasps, your desperate voice begging for him. It was nearly overwhelming, realizing that it was your body twisting in his hands, your sticky skin sliding against his, breathless calls of his name when his tongue made contact with a particularly sensitive spot.

Your fingers pulled at his short hair, urging him to keep going, eyes squeezing shut as you enveloped yourself fully in the moment. It was nearly impossible to keep quiet, sure to anger the neighbours you shared walls with, but keeping silent was the furthest thing from your mind among the warming pleasure descending over you.

Your incoherent moans, echoing off the walls of your bedroom, became more frequent. Your head turning side to side, glancing down at his white knuckles and icy gaze- you fell apart with his head buried between your thighs, his tongue savouring every ounce of slick liquid that dripped from you, and as your pussy pulsated against him, he groaned.

You laid still, regaining your composure, sucking in a deep breath as he surfaced from between your thighs.

"Good?" He asked- though the grin on his face alluded to the fact that he knew the answer already- you'd soaked his face, his lips shimmering with your arousal, red and puffy.

"Good," You confirmed. "Really good."

His eyes blinked lazily, the same cocky grin on his face until you reached for his jeans. Emboldened with adrenaline and blissful excitement, you undid his zipper.

He was Johnny- your friend, Johnny- that you'd known for so long it was almost fate that you'd end up together. But your eyes met in the yellowed glow of the beside lamp, and he wasn't your friend, anymore. The feelings you'd shoved down, pushed far out of reach, had come bubbling to the surface once more.

Your stomach still fluttered with post-orgasm energy, though your mind was focused solely on taking everything he'd offer. His face dropped as your hand sneaked under the constraints of his jeans, dipping into his boxers.

Your hand reached his cock, pleasantly surprised by the feeling of hard flesh, soft and warm. He grunted quietly when your hand ran up and down his cock, exhaling sharply when your eyes met.

"Fuck me," He mumbled.

He leaned forward on his knees, connecting your lips again until his moans forced all the air out of him and he surfaced for a deep breath. His forehead knocked against yours, your lip tucked under your teeth as you watched him squirm in your grasp. His gaze had moved as he watched your hand squeeze and massage his cock, his hands planted firmly on either side of your thighs, weak with effort.

Your name left his lips in barely a whisper, and then his calloused hand wrapped under your jaw to push you against the mattress beneath him.

"Plenty o' time for that later," He said, dropping his jeans past his hips. "I need to be inside you."

"Please," You nodded, urging him to continue.

The silky head of his cock pushed against your clit, gliding down to your leaking pussy before slowly sliding inside you. Your head fell back against the pillow as you acclimated to his cock stretching you out, a guttural moan releasing from your throat.

It was slow and calculated, his eyes locked onto your expressions, only moving when your hips jolted up, your hands grabbed at his shoulders.

"More," You uttered. "Please, more."

A flash of a grin melted the concentration on his face, though quickly dissipated when he met your cervix with hesitation. He reached over you, gripping the headboard with white knuckles.

"Bloody Christ," He grunted. "You're tight, doll," He was breathless, though exerting little effort as he stumbled along, his hips barely moving against you. "And so fuckin' wet," He nearly moaned.

Your hips met his, a flush of heat overtaking your body at his words; he'd teased you before, swore worse than anyone you'd ever met, but the filth coming from his mouth made your lips part in shock.

He settled into a slow rhythm, his hips rutting into yours as you lifted your legs to his sides. Your hands clung to the back of his neck, meeting his eyes with an expression of pure lust and pleasure.

Your eyes shut, basking in the moment, configuring your body in a way that allowed him even deeper. Not a second later, he dipped his head down to your ear, his low moans and grunts against your cheek.

"Look at me," He ordered. "I wanna see you take it."

Your eyes flashed open, finding his amongst the movement.

Your words were choked up by gasps for air, especially as he sped up his pace, grinding into you, fucking his cock deep inside your pussy until you whimpered.

You could only utter his name- quiet announcements of pleasure. Your fingers slid between your bodies to find your clit, lubrication from your pussy helping to glide your fingers in circles around the sensitive bud until you clenched around him.

"You close?" He asked, tilting his head to watch your expression. "I feel you squeezin' me. Cum on it, doll," He exhaled.

He moved even closer, chest to chest, one hand now wrapped around your thigh, the other holding his body weight off of you.

His thrusts were unforgiving, even as your eyes widened and your chest broke with a loud moan.

"Right there," You nodded. "Keep it right there."

"You like it there? Deep in your cunt?" His lips were close enough that you could feel his warm breath on your neck.

"Yes," You whimpered, broken and desperate.

"Knew you'd like it deep- like my cock buried in you," He grinned momentarily. "Don't you?"

"Oh God," You nearly sobbed. "Yes- Johnny, yes."

Your thighs clenched around him, your pussy squeezing his cock as you came. His pace stuttered for a moment, your muscles milking his cock as you froze in place, your head against the pillow, lips parted, eyes glued to Johnny's.

"That's it," He cooed.

He continued thrusting, even when your limbs had liquified and you'd tried your best to hang onto him. You ignored the fatigue in your muscles, pulling him into a long kiss before craning your neck, whispering into his lips.

"Cum in me. Please."

He could've shivered, a chilling statement that made his cock rigid inside you. You were even more wet than before, noisy, messy arousal seeping from you and dripping down to the bedsheets. It was audible, loud- enough to push him over the edge, but your request immediately had him releasing warm cum deep inside you.

He breathed out, a few twitches in his body as his orgasm finished, before he slowly pulled out and laid down beside you. He reached over, tugging you into him before placing a kiss on your lips.

"Shame we hadn't done that a bit sooner," He sighed, earning a short laugh from you.

"We've got plenty of time to make up for it."

[coppercrow]

So I no longer think that Alastor made a deal with Lilith, nor that he is working for her. I do still think their disappearances are connected though.

Picture this:

Alastor while he's still alive fears the prospect of death due to the lack of control it presents. He finds a way to make a deal with a power (my suspicion is that it's the character Root of All Evil (Roo) that Viv has hinted is the background threat of Hazbin Hotel, who I imagine is what Eve became when she committed the original sin). Alastor sells his soul to Roo in exchange for power both in life and death. He kills a bunch of people and at least some of them are in aid of his deal.

Alastor dies and and arrives in Hell charged up on Roo's power, and with a direction to amass even more. He spends the next several decades slaughtering Overlords, but not doing much with what he gathers. He isn't interested in running a business, or gathering territory, just growing his power and persuing his whims. For Alastor it seems like he won the lottery with this deal.

Meanwhile we have Lillith who all through time has been trying to empower Hell and bring it together. Heaven started the exterminations, but she continues to persist even as Lucifer loses his spark. If Roo is actually Eve, she has every reason to want to see Lilith destroyed and Hell suffer.

So during an extermination seven years ago Roo gives Alastor an outright command: kill Lilith. This is obviously not something Alastor would be keen to do, but he has no choice. He goes after Lilith and they fight. Powered by Roo and the power he's amassed, he manages to win the fight and Lilith is killed, only to respawn in Heaven (after all she's been a loving mother and cared for the people of Hell, and the only sin she was initially guilty of was rejecting Adam, and she looked decidedly non demon-ish and didn't have any horns in episode 8) or possibly flees there??

Alastor barely makes it out of the fight alive, and spends the next seven years recuperating and trying to figure out how to escape his deal with Roo. He's finally realised that his deal isn't as good as it seemed and he's starting to pay the price. If Lucifer ever finds out what he did, he'd be a smear on the pavement.

Then he finds a possible solution: Charlie. The daughter of a fallen angel and the first demon, young and idealistic and in need of support on her brand new project. While she might not use her powers, she has the potential to become scarily powerful over time.

Alastor hatches a plan - show up at the hotel, give a plausible reason for being there, and slowly ingratiate himself with her and shape her progression until he can position her into making a deal with him. Maybe one favour won't be enough, but it can be a slippery slope for Charlie. When the time comes he can manipulate her into freeing him from his deal, and leave him free to carry out his own plans (maybe setting himself up to rule Hell through Charlie as a puppet ruler?)

Over the next six months he positions himself to gain trust. He manipulate Lucifer by antagonizing him into supporting Charlie and setting up the seeds of a confrontation with Heaven. Then the time comes and he pounces and makes the deal, and he has one favour stored away to use at the most inopportune time for Charlie.

Then the battle comes and Alastor gets cocky. He volunteers himself to deal with Adam, and nearly dies for it. This freaks him the fuck out - he'd already gotten his favour but he risked himself to save them all more than he really needed to. I think that despite himself he'd started to think fondly of the hotel team and let it influence his judgement just a little.

In the aftermath of the battle he's shaken and his song is him reaffirming the plans he had when he first came to the hotel, and telling himself that he needs to escape his deal at any cost.

I think that in the coming seasons we could see the following:

- Alastor trying to double down on his whole 'I'm the untouchable radio demon' bit to try and distance himself from the hotel team, only to fail as they keep getting under his skin.

- Alastor slowly getting more desperate as the consequences of his deal close in, and increasing conflict as he wars with what this means.

- everything culminating in a moment where Alastor has to make a choice to betray the hotel team for freedom, and does it without hesitation and is all 'I'm the villain Charlie, did you really think I could be redeemed? How amusing.'

- Alastor then realising that despite having betrayed everyone he does actually care and his goals seeming hollow in the aftermath of this.

- the question of whether even someone like Alastor deserves a second chance/to be forgiven as he tries to convince Charlie to work with him to take down Roo, is the real threat to them all.

- Heaven and Hell fighting side by side to destroy Roo and the reformation of the afterlife entirely.

-

[kirain]

what do you think of this post about Gale? I saw it today and idk how to feel about it. h t t p s : // www. tumblr. com / galahadwilder / 741497332636467200

I couldn't disagree with it more, to be honest.

First of all, and I can't stress this enough, Mystra doesn't care about her followers. She cares about the state of the Weave and nothing more. If her followers don't worship her, if they're not useful to her, if they don't serve her purpose, they mean nothing to her. After she abandoned Gale, she had no interest in him until she realised she could use him to stop the Absolute—and she only wanted to stop the Absolute because it threatened the Weave. In general, Mystra doesn't care what people use magic for either, be it the most admirable heroics or the most depraved insanity you can imagine.

Case and point: Lorroakan. He is an arrogant wizard, far worse than Gale could ever hope to be, who uses magic for pure evil. When he beat Rolan, he undoubtedly used magic to do it. Do you think Mystra cared? Nope. You can help that nutjob achieve his goals, kill a demigod, turn him immortal, and give him free reign to abuse magic any way he wishes, but do you think Mystra cares? Nope. She doesn't. She doesn't care about people unless they benefit her. In fact, all three iterations of Mystra have a vast history of grooming, flat out 🍇, and the forced impregnation of unsuspecting mortal women. Despite being neutral good, Mystra is and has always been extremely vain, selfish, jealous, and problematic.

With that in mind, I'd like to break this post down piece by piece. Also, please be aware that when I use the word "you", I don't mean you specifically, anon. I'm more so addressing anyone who might be reading.

PS: Please no one harass this person's post. Their opinion is their own, and it's very respectful. At the end of the day, we're just talking about a video game.

Mystra didn't tell Gale not to juggle the torches. She didn't even tell him it was a torch. She let him go on believing it was a part of her missing Weave. Had she told him the truth, he would've stayed away. That's why he's so shocked in Act 3, when she finally reveals it's the Karsite Weave. He had no idea, and she likely never intended to tell him. She didn't before he went off in search of it, and she didn't the entire time he was locked away in his tower, scared and suffering. I can't for the life of me figure out why she wouldn't warn him, but I can only assume it's because she expected absolute obedience, or because she was getting bored of him and wanted him to mess up.

Whatever her reasons, she didn't tell Gale to leave the orb alone because he was "worthy" already. He clearly wasn't in her eyes, because he wanted her to see him as an equal. He wanted her to share her knowledge with him, which is perfectly fair in a healthy relationship. If you're dating a god and they treat you like a worshipper—that's all you are to them. A worshipper. A plaything. You're beneath them. You're unworthy. She told Gale to leave the orb alone because she wanted him to be complacent. She wanted to keep him in servitude. That's what she wants from all of her followers, though it's even worse when it's her lover.

In almost every story where a mortal loves a god, the mortal is either ascended into the heavens or the god gives up their divinity. And this isn't even specific to gods, but also vampires, werewolves, elves, and so on. Arwen, for example, gives up her immortality to be with Aragorn. Bella becomes a vampire to be with Edward. Hercules gives up his divinity to be with Meg. Elisa Esposito becomes aquatic to be with the creature. These are common tropes because it makes the couples equal.

Mystra contradicts herself by saying Gale was "always worthy", because her actions don't reflect it. He was a worthy distraction from her job, sure, but not worthy enough for her to treat him like an equal. So in order to prove it to her, to prove his love and devotion, he went after the one thing he knew she wanted—her missing Weave. Yes, she told him not to, and I agree he should've respected that, but this is on par with a woman telling her husband not to buy a bracelet she really, really wants because it's too expensive. If your husband worked extra hours and saved up enough to buy you that bracelet, would you divorce him?

Gale was completely unaware of the danger. He basically thought he was getting Mystra a bracelet. Had she taken the time to explain it to him, the whole catastrophe could have been avoided. He was just a hopeless romantic who wanted to surprise his girlfriend and prove he belonged at her side. The same girlfriend who very well could have made him her equal and shared her knowledge, but chose not to. Why? Because she's selfish. She didn't want an equal, she wanted a servant. We know this because, if you romance and ascend Gale, he will ascend you alongside him and give you your own domain! Mystra had the power to do this, or at least the ability to slowly ease him into it, but she refused. No matter how much he pleaded and proved his devotion to her, she refused.

Mystra did not save Gale when the orb embedded itself in his chest. He survived only because it fed on his gifts. He says as much, and so does she when you go to see her at the Temple. That's why, when we first meet him, he admits he used to be better at magic. He was once exceedingly powerful, but the orb basically knocked him down to level one. Mystra was perfectly happy to let him scramble to find items to absorb, knowing that he would inevitably run out and erupt. When we give him his third item in Act 1, the orb is becoming quenchless, and he knows his time is nigh. Mystra has nothing to do with satiating the orb until Act 2 and 3, and only because he becomes her wild card.

Gale: Mystra will consider forgiveness?

Elminster: She will consider ... what she considers to be forgiveness.

Even Elminster, her most faithful Chosen, knows her "forgiveness" isn't really forgiveness. It's an ultimatum. Do this for me and be welcomed into my hall, or die and literally go to hell. Why would Mystra make this offer? Well, because why else would Gale agree to kill himself only to end up in the Wall of the Faithless? How would that motivate him? Mystra didn't make this offer out of the kindness of her heart, she made it because she was desperate. Had the opportunity never presented itself, she would've let him die and suffer for all eternity, and possibly take hundreds of innocent people with him in the blast. She. Doesn't. Care. 🤷‍♀️

Now, one could argue Gale was asking for too much, but I'm going to have to call bullshit on that. First of all, Mystra showed him things no mortal has ever seen. It's only fair he'd want to share her world and learn as much as possible. Imagine if the Doctor from Doctor Who picked up some random people and took them on breathtaking adventures, but the audience got mad at them for wanting to see as much as they could. Amy, Clara, Rose, etc.—none of them could live a normal life after meeting him, and they wanted to learn as much about the universe as possible. But everyone loves those characters. They don't get mad. There's even several episodes where the companions call the Doctor out for not treating them as equals, and he admits he's wrong for doing that and adjusts his way of thinking.

I would argue that the only real divide between Mystra and Shar/Vlaakith is that Mystra doesn't inflict physical pain ... most of the time. That's it. Vlaakith and Shar only care about themselves and the effectiveness of their followers, but the exact same applies to Mystra. She is the Weave, and she only cares about the Weave; therefore, she only cares about herself. She had ample opportunity to help Gale or tell him the truth, but she didn't until it was convenient for her. The gods of D&D are basically the Greek Pantheon gods—a bunch of assholes toying with mortals, regardless of their alignment. The odd one is decent, but most are only out for themselves and their rule. Now, I will concur that Mystra is hardly the worst deity (in fact, she's unfortunately one of the better ones), but she's still not great and Gale is her victim.

To get a little controversial, I think the writers made a mistake. I know what they were going for, but I think they lost it along the way. At first, I was ready to stand with everyone and admit he belonged in the quintessential "overreaching wizard full of hubris" category, but upon researching the lore, getting to know Gale better, and doing several different playthroughs, I've come to vehemently disagree. First of all, before 5E (the current D&D edition), becoming a god was the ultimate goal for a lot of players, and that was perfectly acceptable, with many DMs providing celestial paths to make it possible. Moreover, many of the current gods were once human themselves, including Mystra!

Second, it's only hubris if you fail. Gale can ascend. He can succeed. Although it's not the canon outcome I would choose for him, he is right about the crown. He does his research and figures out how to reforge it. And he doesn't seek godhood to be worshipped, he seeks it to either free himself (and all mortals) from Mystra's chains, or for her to acknowledge and love him as an equal. His arrogance stems from insecurity; an insecurity Mystra herself planted and cultivated, and in the end he's not really arrogant atfter all. Does him wanting to be Mystra's equal make him selfish? Well, I suppose that depends on how you answer these questions:

Is your partner equal to you? If you don't think so, why are you leading them on? Why wouldn't you take steps to help them become your equal? Why are you holding them back instead of propping them up? If they show interest in your life, in your world, in the things you can do, why would you keep it to yourself, especially when you have the time and resources to share it?

Just some ambrosia for thought. 😉

[lilithliliam]

My quiet haven

Warnings: Yandere themes. Teacher/student relationship. Obsessive and possessive behavior. There is no bloodthirstiness, there is no theme of death. Manipulation and pressure. The reader is a virgin. NSFW. Jealousy.

The reader is studying with Gojo temporarily, cause she don't plan to be a sorceress. The reader is 18 years old. She must learn to use her power, which is why she came to study in Tokyo.

It’s hard to imagine a Gojo who loves someone very much, let alone Yandere Gojo, but it turns out that this can happen. Where did it all start? Gojo is not particularly interested in people, to be honest, but he really loves and cares about his students. About all of them without exception, but recently he began to notice that he devotes much more time and attention to one of his students than to others, and is it even possible to blame him for this. After all, she, his student, is the very embodiment of femininity, beauty and kindness. She's not like everyone else, she's not angry at him for his childish nature, she doesn't think he's arrogant, or she doesn't have a stupid crush on him. She always seemed to be able to somehow read his emotions. He could say that there was absolutely nothing wrong with him, that his mission had been more successful than ever, that he was not tired at all, but she could understand how he felt just by looking once. When all his students left, she approached him and asked about his well-being, whether he was tired, whether he was accidentally injured. Did he need anything? And she asked with such genuine concern that Satoru involuntarily felt something in his chest - was moving. At first, he brushed off her questions, not wanting to pester her with his problems, but then he didn’t even understand how he began to open up. In one of the most vulnerable moments, when she was the only one who realized that something was wrong with him, with the strongest. She just came up and despite all the assurances that everything was fine, she hugged him tightly. As tightly as she could. She told him not to hide his feelings, because we all are people. He is a human after all. No matter how strong he is, he is still a person who is no stranger to pain, fatigue and suffering. And this is not something to be ashamed of.

"I can't even imagine the heavy burden you carry every day, sensei ,but please don't carry it alone. Whenever you need, whenever you feel alone, I will always be here for you. I can hardly help a lot, but I can listen to you. And no matter what you say, it will always remain between us,” she told him.

She hugged him, pressing his head to her chest and stroking his hair. She whispered various soothing things. And he...just melted like plasticine in her wonderful hands. He felt like a lonely abandoned child who had finally found shelter, a warm home. That day he himself did not understand how he fell asleep. But he slept well then. And then the germ of interest that he experienced in her even at the first meeting grew into true love. He didn't care that she was his student, that she was younger. She will only study for a year and she is already 18. He has been single for so many years that who cares about her age or the family she comes from. Gojo knew that he had earned himself at least one happiness in life and he was going to take care of its safety.

She was kind in character in general. She was kind to everyone, from a small bug on the sidewalk which she picked up and planted on a nearby flower so that it would not be given away, to the janitor for whom she bought coffee in a very cold time, knowing that he would probably frozen And of course she was kind to her classmates. She cared, but not too persistently, for Megumi, hugged and supported Itadori, saying that even though he is a vessel of Sukuna, this doesn't mean that he is bad. She listened and gave advice to Nobara and went shopping with her. She calmed down and even prepared Nanami’s favorite bread and sandwiches, who, by the way, also doted on her. She became the soul and the bright sun of their entire company. And Gojo was fine with this for the time being.

However, over time, he became even more clingy than before. He began to constantly demand her attention. Her worries. If she devoted time to someone else, he would create scandals and hysterics. When he finished his missions, the first thing he did was rush to her and showed off like a kid. And she smiled and praised. Thanked him for his hard work. Prepared sweets or other food for him just because knew that after the mission he would probably want to eat something. And he could sit all night with her in the living room or in her room, eating sweets or chips and watching some movie. He would constantly cry at the sad moments and laugh out loud at the funny ones, but one thing was invariable: he would either lie on her chest or on her lap while she instinctively stroked his hair. When she was once enthusiastically reading some book, he became hysterical like a child and threw it somewhere, while refusing to look at her, and childishly pouting his lip, showing that he was the victim here. At first she was indignant, but then, instead of to reprimand him, she sighed quietly and opened her arms, where he immediately rushed, forgetting about his offense because she forgot about him for THREE WHOLE MINUTES!

Her classmates also noticed Gojo’s strange attitude towards her, but she brushed it off and said that he was like a big baby or a living teddy bear and that he needed to be cuddled and cherished, otherwise he would behave completely capriciously. They didn't approve of this, but seeing how happy Gojo was they couldn't resist. She noticed that his actions were strange at times, but she convinced herself that Gojo was very lonely. She understood the burden people had placed on him since his birth. How they don't let him be normal. And his childish behavior was justified by the lack of a normal childhood before. Seeing one day how bad he really was, she decided that at least she could understand him, not put pressure on him, could become his quiet haven where he could come to rest. She wanted nothing more than for her mentors Gojo and Nanami to finally be able relax and do what you really want. One day Gojo felt that he was ready to completely open up to her. He told everything that was in his heart. About his best friend Geto, who betrayed him to the point of taking his life himself. He expected contempt in her eyes, although he understood that she was not that kind of girl, but he was afraid of her reaction. But she smiled softly and said that it was probably hard for him. And that she understood him. She feels sorry for his friend, she feels sorry for that girl. But the past cannot be changed. If Geto was his best friend, then he understands his actions and does not hold a grudge against him, so Satoru should also forgive himself: she told him. He first smiled and then...cried. He cried in her lap as she stroked his hair in an attempt to calm him down. He calmed down and he and she even agreed to visit Geto’s grave together next time. It would seem that everything was fine. Everyone was happy. Gojo has finally found his soul mate. A person ready to accept him. Here she is, the perfect girl. Strong, albeit weaker than him, beautiful, although not more beautiful than him(joke). But something is still wrong. He looks at her communicating with Yuji and Nanami and something strange stirs in his chest. He watches carefully as she hands a basket, probably with food, into Nanami's hands. After all, Gojo himself saw how she prepared him and suddenly realizes. Oh yes, exactly. This feeling is called... anxiety. No no. Jealousy. No... uncertainty? No, stupidity. So that Satoru Gojo himself, the strongest magician, feels insecure? Nonsense. But deep down he is afraid that she does not feel the same, that she might choose someone younger, like Yuji, someone more responsible like Nanami. But he's not going to give up. He's lost enough people and he's not going to lose any more. He knows for sure that he doesn't want her to care about anyone else. Especially about Nanami. After all, after so much time spent with her, it seems that she did not look at him differently, although Satoru tried to look after her. He gave her sweets, put flowers in her room, or if she was just walking, he appeared out of nowhere and dragged her to the nearest cafe to try a new food, but apparently this was not enough. So Gojo decided to act more decisively. And show her intentions, because even if she guessed about his feelings, she tried not to pay attention to it.

Gojo had hugged her before, like all his students, but now his hugs became more frequent, lower and more intimate? Although she felt that something was wrong, she tried to blame it on paranoia. When she was cooking, he could hug her and put his head on her shoulder and inhale the smell of her hair. One day, when she was eating candy that he bought her, for some reason in the shape of a heart, he asked how it tasted. She says it’s very tasty and he took the candy she bit and ate it, closing his eyes in satisfaction. One day he took her phone to check the time, but then when she took her phone again, on the lock screen there was a photo of them that they took with everyone, but only... the rest of the participants were cut out and only him and Gojo remained. By the way, he put the same photo on his phone. She also noticed that next to his contact there was now a red heart. And sometimes she woke up in the morning with a heaviness on her stomach and when she opened her eyes, she found a sleeping Gojo who was hugging her tightly, trying to fit on her bed. Slowly but surely he became a part of her life, her social circle, slowly and surely filling her entire world. One day, while walking in a store, he offered her to buy “mochi” in the shape of a heart, which were sold for Valentine’s Day, to which she quite logically replied:

-But, Gojo sensei, this is for couples

“Well, yes, we’re dating so what’s the problem here,” he told her as if nothing had happened.

-I love you, you love me and...call me Satoru-sama now, right? She was numb for a minute, not knowing how to refuse him, and he, of course, took advantage of this.

-You take care of me, cook for me, hug me, comfort me. This of course means that you like me as much as I like you. And you will not leave me like everyone else. Don't hurt my feelings. Well, of course, and how can you not love me.I’m so charming,

- he said, knowing that he was manipulating her, leaving her no choice, but he didn’t care. She was his and no one, not even she herself, could change that.

And she, in turn, thought: This is the first time that Gojo is truly happy, it took so much time to heal his wounds, but she won’t open his wounds again and leave new ones? How can she do this to him? Yes, and she must admit that over time she herself began to have feelings for him. It’s hardly pity, rather admiration along with the desire to care. The maternal instinct must be making itself felt, because he's like real child (or maybe it’s just a skillful manipulation by Satoru) So she decided that why not. She will give him a chance.And she did not quite confidently confirm the fact of their relationship, and Satoru was not even shy about rare people in the store, and kissed her right there, because he had been craving this for so long.

As for intimate matters, everything is simple. His beloved is 18 years old, in fact, she is not even his student, and Gojo also has his own... needs. Therefore, he probably won’t want to wait, or give her time to prepare for this mentally. He will gently hint to her by saying something like:

"Hey hey, a wonderful day to lose your virginity, don't you think?"

Or

"How is my favorite virgin doing?"

He constantly kisses her on the lips and moves lower. Will constantly touch her. And one day he will invite her to his house to watch a film. But she felt how it would end, after all, it was Satoru. He almost directly stated that he wanted her. Before she had time to enter his apartment, he was already heart-rendingly and greedily kissing her lips. Lifting her by the ass, he carried her onto the bed while crushing the fat of her ass. Climbing on top of her, he kissed her as if he wanted her to choke on either his tongue or his saliva. While his long, muscular arms explored her entire body, hastily ridding her of her clothes. Having finished with the kiss, leaving a thread of their common saliva on her lips that dripped onto her bare collarbones, he kissed lower. Frantically kissing the beads of her hardened nipples and putting one in his mouth, he began to suck, twisting it around his tongue, causing a series of moans from his beloved. He barely looked away from her soft and elastic breasts and began to look at her greedily, God, how he wanted to take a picture of her now, it was just a pornographic look. He wanted to remember this for the rest of his life. But this was her first time, he had to be softer and more gentle and please her first, and then himself. He sank lower, from her navel, sunken tummy to her femininity and she screamed. Her whole body arched and she pulled Gojo's head closer to her peak and Gojo moaned out loud.

She wriggled like a snake, simultaneously dropping sweet moans that gave him an incentive to move on. He greedily sucked, licked and even stuck his nimble tongue into her, stimulating places that she probably didn’t even know existed. Using his thumb, stroking and occasionally rubbing her clitoris or alternating it with his tongue, and inserting first one then a second finger into her, he quickly brought her to the peak and she moaned loudly and protractedly. He stood up and took off his T-shirt as he walked, wiping his wet mouth and face with it.

"Damn, damn baby. This is the best thing I've ever eaten. I wish you would give me this instead of the usual tomorrow and dinner, baby," he told her.

While she was trying to recover from a violent orgasm, he unzipped his pants and hastily stayed in his boxers, wet from his own secretions, in which his erect penis could be clearly seen. He desperately needed to be in her. He seemed ready to cum now if she just touched him.

She felt something hard and smooth sliding along her wet folds, occasionally touching her clitoris, causing a new wave of goosebumps and moans. Then slowly, as slowly as he could, testing all his patience, Gojo began to enter her. She seemed to suffocate from the feeling of being so stretched and full, something strange was tickling her stomach from the inside.

Now it was real torture for him not to move. It was incredibly tight, hot and very humid! The vaginal muscles tightly wrapped around the penis. The heat that came from them was driving them crazy, prompting them to immediately start moving. But he couldn't afford to be rude, not with her!

He bows his head in a gentle kiss, pulls out of her slightly, and makes a careful push back.

For the first time, a girl feels the movements of a man inside her.

She clasps her hands behind his neck. She doesn’t yet understand how she feels.

Another soft, not strong, deep push. He barely comes out of her before entering again to the end, as if he is rocking the two of them on the waves.

Her quiet moan escapes directly into his lips, breaking the kiss.

Tries the amplitude a little more. So wet that he easily slides in it, feeling the pleasant friction of the sensitive organ.

He told himself that he shouldn't lose patience, that he should be gentle, but... God, he couldn't do it anymore. It felt like heaven, like pure bliss, like a drug in its purest form.

Her pussy was warm, tight, reactive and wet - it was everything he had dreamed of and more.

He tried to be soft, tried to be slow, but hearing her meow and whimper he lost all remnants of willpower and self-control. He set a leisurely rhythm, simultaneously comforting her with sweet words, saying how well she was doing, how great she was and how well she accepted him. Just be patient, okay, is it okay for me, baby? “Be patient with love,” he whispered to her, but he himself seemed about to go crazy.

-Darling, my love, I just want to make you feel good? Okay?

Trying to distract himself and distract her from the unpleasant sensations of stretching, he kissed her cheeks, ears and her sensitive neck.

Surrendering to his tender kisses, she forgot about the pain and completely relaxed.

-It's okay, I'm okay.

-Are you sure honey, damn... say yes

To which she nodded and smiled. And he couldn't stand it anymore. Spreading her legs wide and pressing them to her chest, he began to quickly and hard enter her, his snow-white, coarse pubic hair and the slapping of his pelvis causing additional friction, stimulating her clitoris, bringing her to the edge. Quick thrusts that quickly spread her apart causing her to open up and make room for him inside, stretching her walls and letting them mold to the shape of his cock.

She arches her back, groaning protractedly. Clings to Satoru's shoulders, maintaining his balance. Gojo grabs her throat with his wet palm, speeding up the rhythm.

There is a catastrophic shortage of air. She moans loudly in her lover's ear, squeezing his hair with her palm.

She feels intoxicated already from the sounds he makes. A primal, deep growl emanates from his chest as he looks down to where you are both connected in heart and soul. Forever and ever... He makes his way inside of you, taking pleasure in your whines and squeals and pitiful meows.

-Go-jo ah, more, nhh I want

-Yes Yes Yes, baby. Let's.Do it. Do. You can my darling.

A pleasant spasm tightens in the lower abdomen. She whines, resting her forehead on the man's neck. A shiver runs through my body. The heartbeat quickens, the head is spinning. She clenches inside and moans loudly.

A powerful orgasm breaks through her body, she closes her eyes to white spots, sinking her teeth into Satoru’s neck.

Her second orgasm was more intense than the first, her cunt throbbing around his cock as pleasure pierced her with outstretched claws, ravaging every part of her.

He groaned. "I'm feeling it. You're squeezing my... oh... I'm going to, damn nhhhh.

His body was on fire, pleasure coursing through every nerve as he continued to fuck your quivering pussy, the lewd wet slaps of flesh on flesh accompanying his wanton, wild moans.

-I'm here, almost. Me too. Babe. Babe. Babe.

He screamed as if in a fit and then moved again, then again and again until the white pearls of sperm stained her insides. He waited a little longer, a heavy exhalation escaping his lips, dripping from his forehead, nose and hair. And then he collapsed exhaustedly on top of her, without leaving her. Remembering that he actually rolled heavily to one side and laid her on his chest, trying to even out his breathing. He stroked her hair and gave her a short laugh, kissing her on the top of her head.

-It was, it was... indescribable. You're so good... for...me

He whispered to her various nonsense, words of love, promises. Until felt that she was sleeping.

-Good night, my not virgin. He whispered in her ear, admiring her peaceful, sleeping face with red cheeks and rejoicing at his victory and understanding what it means to be happy. He felt happier than ever. Felt peace, tranquility and tranquility.

He finally found his man, his home. Your own quiet haven. And now no one will dare to encroach on him, no one will dare even look at her. She is his. He branded her, made her completely his, and soon he will build a house for them. He will put her there, he will admire her for hours, he will be the only one, he will teach her himself. He will make her a child, marry her. Don’t want to share her with a child, but it’s better than some Nanami. Let Kento look for another. After all, she is... only his Quiet Haven.

I don't own this arts

[theivorybilledwoodpecker]

I was exactly halfway into my second pregnancy, and up until that point, we were so ecstatic to be expecting again — a baby we’d been praying for. We kept talking about and imagining the joy it would be to bring our new baby home to meet our 2-year-old daughter. But at my 20-week ultrasound, a day that is supposed to be full of excitement and awe, we received devastating news. Our baby, a second daughter, had many severe and insurmountable skeletal and organ issues. Fetal specialists told us that it was extremely unlikely she could survive because all her major organ systems had significant development issues. We were blindsided and heartbroken, and yet somehow clear-minded. We chose to do what we believed was best for our unborn daughter as well as for our family; because that is what you do as parents. And we saw the choice we ultimately made as an act of love for her. We respect and honor that other parents have chosen — and will continue to choose — the only other option our doctor suggested to us — to let the pregnancy take its natural course and provide specialist or palliative care as needed. And that is the point. Individuals and their families — no matter where they happen to live — must be able to make the best choice for them. They need to be free to choose their own act of love. I believe now more than ever that anyone’s reason for seeking an abortion is valid. Who are we to say it isn’t? What we didn’t know when we made our decision was that in addition to being so difficult emotionally, it would be made so much worse by the abortion bans recently enacted in Idaho. Because of these cruel laws, my Idaho doctors could not provide me with an abortion — something they could easily have done before Roe v. Wade was overturned — in my own community supported by family and friends. We had to spend the following days cold-calling countless clinics in nearby states where abortion is still legal, but found out that because of all the other new abortion bans in states across the country, many clinics had closed, most had no open appointments for several weeks, and still others considered my pregnancy, at 20 weeks, too far along for me to receive care. The thought of waiting out this pregnancy, possibly for weeks, or however long, while trying to get through the day working as a chiropractor and still being active and present for our toddler was more than I could handle. All I could think about was whether the daughter I was carrying was already suffering; my anxiety and sadness were overwhelming. We both felt hopeless and heartbroken until we reached a Seattle clinic with a last-minute cancellation. Although relieved, there was so much we had to do to get there in the haze of our grief. There were flights to make, hotels to book, a car to rent and medical care our health insurance would not cover because we were going out of state to access and receive it. One of the most tragic — and degrading — parts of our situation was knowing that people in my home state of Idaho believe this is acceptable, denying me bodily autonomy. We will always be grateful to the clinic and team in Seattle for offering us professional, compassionate care. I am a person of faith and for months after my abortion, I kept telling Brandon there had to be something positive that would come out of this experience. Several months later, I learned that the Center for Reproductive Rights was putting together a challenge to Idaho’s abortion laws, and I knew immediately that moving forward as a plaintiff in the case was something I had to do. I’m proud to be one of the many women and doctors challenging and broadening these laws. Physicians in Idaho must have greater discretion over when abortion exceptions are warranted, and the decision should be the patient’s in consultation with their doctors.

[marshmallowprotection]

So in the spirit of pirates

Imagine this with pirate lady Suit. A siren takes on the image of MC and they're like oh 👀 how interesting

You were taken ashore with one of the crew members to do a supply run. She trusted them to go with you because they were someone in the crew who could keep a close eye on you. There wasn't anywhere for you to run or hide (it wasn't like you were itching to go back home to the parents who abandoned you in the name of wealth) but still... it wasn't like she wanted you to leave. You were useful for her mission... a mission to get the hell out of this port and away from the torment it caused.

Saeran didn't want to be here.

There was no noble cause to save the people suffering on the bottom from the misfortune they'd been subjected to. She just wanted to get far, far away before the bottom fell out. She knew it would happen, it already happened once before when that man got his hands on what he wanted, and she knew it would certainly happen again. Lightning could strike in the same place twice when you were facing an enemy who didn't know when to stop.

If she followed the expected rules of her quest, then when she got what she wanted, she could either put you out of your misery or send you back to town to live whatever remained of your life on edge of the angry townsfolk. Most pirates weren't soft, they would get rid of their captive if the ransom would never be paid off, but she didn't want to get rid of you. She didn't want to send you packing so someone else could do it, either.

But, it was dangerous to confess that sort of thing, wasn't it? To say she didn't want to throw you away or send you back to shore was no different than saying she had a vulnerability someone could exploit in an instant. She saw what happened to people who shared what they were fond of, it happened to her sister, and it would happen to her in an instant if someone caught wind of it.

She would bite her tongue.

You weren't special... you were just the first person she'd ever come across that wasn't afraid to look her in the eye and challenge what she thought to be truth. You pushed her buttons and made her use that brain of hers to think harder than she ever had before, and that made her a damn better pirate. You urged her to break past what she saw as an obstacle and she followed that advice every time, even if a normal pirate wouldn't trust a fool.

Those tempting nights where your finger tips danced across her thighs were nothing more than a dream from a pirate who hadn't known the touch of another person in years.

She wasn't some glorified schoolgirl in love with you!

Saeran was dragged from her thoughts when she heard the sound of a loud thwack on the deck.

That sound was strange because it wasn't just a boot on the deck. It was something else entirely. She knew that there were two things it could be! It would either be you coming from the port or it would be an enemy trying to board the ship and loot it while the crew was out and down for the night.

That sound continued. It called to Saeran, urging her to run faster and faster and faster to the deck. She didn't know how to describe that noise but it made her feel like a moth to the flame. She needed more of it. She slammed the door open to the top deck and saw the outline of a person leaning over the side of the ship, and with a quick breath, she rushed over to the figure cloaked in mist and fog.

It was then Saeran realized the noise she heard below deck was a melody.

"Hmm... hmmm... mmmm..."

She growled, hand gripping the hilt of her sword on instinct, "Hey, you!"

But, when the figure turned around, it revealed your face. Saeran was gobsmacked as she let go of the sword and stormed over to you with that mystified look still burning on her face. The humming was gentle and made you feel far away... but as angry as she wanted to be about it, she found it was impossible to remain angry because she couldn't look away from your face. Even if the voice sounded strange and odd to her, it was your face that made her feel at ease.

Strangely at peace...

Almost, too comfortable.

By the time she realized what was happening, she was already in front of you, and your hands reached out amongst the fog and cupped her face with ease.

The melody didn't waver, but the voice cooed, "How very interesting... I've heard rumors of you... though, they said there was nothing I could conjure to sway Saeran's cold heart. So, this is who you like? I wonder when you found such a wonderful face to lust after... you didn't have such a weakness the last time one of my kind found you."

Saeran's cheeks burned hotly as the song of the siren took control of her heart and sent her twisting deeper and deeper in her thoughts of you and you alone. She couldn't fight it. She wouldn't fight it. Her tiny heart clamored for more than what she had... and the siren knew that the longer she stood there with her lips spread apart and eyes wide in awe.

"I could give you a taste of what you want, you know? Is that what you want, little quartermaster? You want to throw everything away just to feel their lips against your bosom? If that's all you want, I can give it to you... forever... you wouldn't have to fight anymore... all you would have to do is be my little human plaything. It would keep all of my kind safe from yours, and benefit our survival."

She nuzzled her cheek against the siren's hand, "[Y/N]..."

"You need only make a deal with me, why don't we shake—"

A loud bang resounded inches away from the siren's head, and a bullet was left encased in the pillar up to the crow's nest, "My Lady Saeran! Get away from that beast! That's not me! It's a Siren!"

The siren clicked her tongue in frustration as Saeran fell out of her stupor, shaking off the effects of the siren's song long enough to grab hold of her sword again. The real person the illusion was created from had arrived and that was enough to break the vision. Saeran growled at the beast of the sea and shoved her back into the water without a second thought.

"You won't deceive me!"

The siren cackled in mirth and called out with a whisper meant only for Saeran to hear, "But, you can't deceive yourself, either, can you?"

[biblicallyaccuratecrow]

ouroboros rambles chapter 2

you guys seemed to like the chapter 1 rambles, so here is chapter 2!

[spoilers for isat and twohats below the cut]

i would like to start by saying that we all need more mirabelle POV fics in our lives. she deserves only the best.

I always really liked how Mira didn't just. get over act 5? like, the things that siffrin said were hurtful! yes! and she loves him! even after that! but it doesn't erase the pain and the conflicting feelings regarding it, especially because of the no-spoilers rule... which we will get more into i proMISE! in any case I was focused a lot on the fact that Mira post canon is dealing with a Lot, what with everyone still believing that she was chosen by the Change God and yknow. saving Vaugarde, and Siffrin's overall condition doesn't help! She wants him to be okay and safe, and she has already shown that she feels immense guilt over not being able to help siffrin during the loops, so I kinda leaned hard into that.

The entire party is about to be So Tired Of People.... especially The Introverts (Odile, Mira, and Siffrin)...

The fucking cart thing came to me out of fucking nowhere. I have no idea where or why that bit came around.

Siffrin sleeping habits analysis. siffrin sleeps all curled up like a cat most of the time? theyre small scrappy, but not really the most physically strong (before the loops), and i imagine more than a few years of traveling alone would train him to be ready to protect themselves however they can, even in their sleep. I think that this eases up a bit as they get comfortable with the party, which leads to them being able to sleep "normally". but of course, that is how they wake up in the loops. negative association and trauma from waking up back in the meadow..... i don't imagine they'll be going back to that any time soon.

I do have a Full Catalog of Siffrin's injuries (because im actually insane) but that will be talked about in my chapter 3 rambles. for now though, all im gonna say is that Siffrin definitely kept the stars hidden. In my headcanon, healing craft only works when you can actually pinpoint a wound, internal or external. I'm more inclined to believe that siffrin healed them up the best they could on their own after to hide them.

Ohhhh odile. my beloved. i have so many feelings about her and how she processes siffrin's issues postcanon. feelings i will not get into until next chapter. sorry lmaoooooo. All you gotta know for now is that once she starts seeing things, she can't stop. the signs appear everywhere, and she very quickly puts the pieces together from that point. All it takes is one domino to start the cascade, and Odile is the kind of person that WILL get to the bottom of it all, no matter what it takes.

Mira's guilt. Oh man. There are some ways in which her and Siffrin are very alike, and this is one of them. She's justified in being mad, yes, but that doesn't erase the fact that she doesn't want to BE mad. She hates it. because she knows now that siffrin was suffering. She defeated the king, saved vaugarde, but the cost was her friend's health and happiness. siffrin said that they were happiest they'd ever been with the party... and yes, siffrin loves them all deeply, but she never could have wanted that love to come at such a great price.

Mira has gotta be TIRED. girl healed siffrin a grand total of (checks my page of notes from act 5) six times. with very little cooldown. and that was AFTER deflecting the ONE SHOT KILL attack from the king (which, even with the carrot method shield, does at least 1/4 damage) and unfreezing siffrin....ough. let her rest!

i love torturing isa using his crush. its so funny. bro is a disaster. brain completely short circuits at the thought of siffrin in his clothes i can IMAGINE IT SO CLEARLY.... odile is gon abe homophobic soon /silly

Siffrin's wish... this scene was really important to me. Just for clarification (and this will become a LOT more obvious later), I don't really regard this scene as Siffrin getting over what happened? Because he definitely isn't. But they have already literally let go of their wish, and I wanted to explore a more… intentional version of that? its long-lasting effects are still there, mentally and physically. it doesn't just go away. But it has served its purpose and this is my way of showing the transition point from the loops and their future with their family.

Also!!! the idea of mourning something that no longer serves its former purpose, a life you cannot get back. Siffrin can never go back to who they were before their wish. They have been fundamentally changed as a person. And while the wish did bring good things, the flipside is that it also dismantled their entire worldview and life in its entirety. They died from this wish, suffered because of it, but the meaning behind it remains, and i think that this scene kind of shows the idea that siffrin still feels compassion for what it originally meant to them. its a bittersweet reality.

[mariacallous]

Shortly before America’s first presidential election since the fall of Roe v Wade, I want to tell you the story of Amanda Zurawski, a bright light in the center of a perfect, horrendous storm.

A little over two years ago, Zurawski was 18 weeks pregnant with her first child, a child she and her husband had conceived after a year and a half of fertility treatments. When she started leaking fluid and sought medical help, her doctors told her there was no chance the fetus would survive. But Zurawski lives in Texas, a state with some of the most restrictive abortion laws in the country: in May of the previous year, the governor, Greg Abbott, had signed into law the Texas Heartbeat Act, also known as SB8, which makes performing abortions after detection of embryonic or fetal cardiac activity, usually at six weeks, illegal. That was on top of several existing statutes. Then, in June 2022, Roe fell.

And so Zurawski’s doctors told her that by the letter of the law – as far as they understood it; more on that later – in order to get the medical care she so desperately needed, either her daughter’s heart would have to stop, or her health would have to devolve into a “life-threatening situation”, something Zurawski has previous called “the most horrific version of a staring contest: whose life would end first? Mine, or my daughter’s?”

Her doctors advised her not to leave a 15-minute radius of the hospital lest her situation spiral, nixing the already unfathomable idea of getting into a car or on to a plane to seek help from a less restrictive state, and risking going into septic shock in the middle of the Texas desert, or 30,000ft up in the air. So she went home to grieve her impending loss and brace for what might come – during which time, Texas’s total abortion trigger ban went into effect, which made performing an abortion punishable by life in prison. And there Zurawski sat, waiting.

The next day, she developed sepsis – a condition her doctors felt was extreme enough to protect them from unintentionally violating the new law, allowing them to induce labor – and after three days in the ICU, she emerged from the experience having almost died, with her own future fertility compromised, and galvanized to make a change about the inhumane laws.

“I admittedly didn’t realize the ways in which an abortion truly is just healthcare,” Zurawski told me this week when I reached her by phone during her early morning walk with her sheepadoodle, Millie, in Austin, where she lives with her husband, Josh. “I couldn’t imagine that I would ever need or want one, since I was desperately trying to have a baby.”

The first moment abortion laws and her own fertility journey intersected was early on in the IVF process. The likelihood of a multiples pregnancy increases when using IVF, but as she is not able to carry multiples, her doctor had discussed the possibility of needing to perform selective reduction surgery if more than one embryo implanted, something that is currently illegal in Texas.

“So I was aware that these laws could affect us, but not from the perspective that I would need it to save my life, and be denied healthcare,” she told me. When she found herself in the unimaginable situation of being turned away from the hospital by doctors who wanted to help her, but weren’t sure they could, her eyes opened, and she and Josh vowed to fight.

Zurawski became the lead plaintiff in the landmark case, Zurawski v Texas, which sued the state of Texas to clarify the “medical emergency” exception in the law – a riveting and harrowing new documentary about the case follows Zurawski and two fellow plaintiffs through the legal fight – and soon found herself catapulted on to the national stage. Her natural charisma, straight talk, and tragic story calcified into a perfect trifecta with the power – so hopes Kamala Harris, who made her a campaign surrogate – of firing up the electorate.

“Humanizing it is what’s really getting people to sit up and pay attention,” Zurawski told me. “When you see a face and a real human who’s been impacted by this, it’s impossible to say, ‘This is reasonable, this is exactly what we want for our country.’” She paused to take a breath. “That’s barbaric.”

One of the most powerful scenes in the documentary shows Zurawski at home with her parents, her mother saying that she’s always voted Republican, but won’t after seeing her daughter almost die.

“Will I say they’re converted Democrats? No!” Zurawski told me, laughing, as she huffed her way up a hill. “But I do think they are single-issue voters, at least in this election. It opened up their eyes a little bit to the legislature, and how laws are written, and how bans go into effect, and the real implications.”

The real implications of, say, “medical exceptions” to a near-total abortion ban?

“They don’t work! Categorically!” she scoffed, citing the multiple patient plaintiffs in her case, alongside other women who have died in our country awaiting care their doctors are prohibited, by law, from providing. “Every pregnancy is inherently unique. Where else in healthcare do we put a blanket rule over where you can and cannot receive treatment?”

In her work over the years since she lost her pregnancy, she’s found that one key to changing minds lies in reframing the conversation from “pro-life” v “pro-choice” to one about healthcare access.

“For 50 years, the right worked really hard to politicize and weaponize and stigmatize the word ‘abortion’,” she said. You say pro-choice or pro-life, and people are already on a side. But some of the time, she pointed out, people simply don’t understand what it means to be on one side or the other.

“I’ll be at a rally, and someone will come up to me and say, ‘I didn’t realize that in 1985, when I had a D&C’” – a dilation-and-curettage surgical procedure that removes tissue from the uterus after miscarriage – “‘that’s an abortion.’ That’s the same as abortion care!”

As Zurawski has crisscrossed the country, campaigning for the Harris-Walz ticket, another part of her family has also moved: her embryos. In February, the Alabama supreme court ruled that frozen embryos are “unborn children”. Zurawski, living in a state that has a similar political climate – one in which city councils have enacted abortion travel bans, in effect criminalizing the use of cities’ roads and highways to seek abortion care – panicked, and rushed to move them to a safer place.

“The implications of the ruling are just staggering,” she said. But, by some estimates, she admits that moving the embryos is itself a stopgap measure. “If Trump is elected, it doesn’t matter where the embryos are, or where we are. He will unleash chaos.”

She cited Project 2025, a rightwing policy manifesto for Trump’s second term that indicates plans not only to restrict birth control access and block access to abortion pills and medical equipment, but also potentially ban IVF and surrogacy in certain states.

“Well, Josh and I have to use a surrogate now because of what my body went through. It’s like they’re saying, you’re out of luck!” She paused, catching her breath on the other end of the phone, perhaps reaching the top of a hill. “It could theoretically prevent us from having children.”

So, what’s to be done? Watch the documentary. Share her story. Vote. Fight.

[still-breathing-au-p3r]

Minato sighs as he makes his way out of the faculty office. Once again, he had tried to find Mr. Ono so he could finally get his hands on that Sengoku Era helmet. And once again, he’d found that the man had vanished as soon as classes were over. All Minato had to show for his efforts was another random lecture from some other teacher. 

He would never have guessed that this request of Elizabeth’s would give him much trouble.  It’s been almost a month since she’d asked him for the helmet, and he’s still empty handed.

Although if he’s honest with himself, it’s at least partly his own fault. 

…It’s mostly his fault. 

He just keeps forgetting to come here. He does remember eventually– usually right after he climbs into bed, and once midway up a staircase in Tartarus. He’d stopped mid-stride and nearly sent the entire party tumbling back down the steps. 

Hopefully Elizabeth isn’t getting too impatient.

Minato wonders if she’ll even keep the darn thing once he does finally get his hands on it. She’s so wishy-washy when it comes to these little fetch-quests. Sometimes she’ll keep what she asked Minato to get for her, and sometimes she just wants to look at them. If there’s a pattern to what items fall into which category, then it’s a secret that Elizabeth is guarding jealously.

Hopefully she’ll keep this one, because Minato has no idea what he’d do with a samurai helmet. Maybe he could give it to Bebe instead? He’s gotten one from Mr. Ono already, apparently, but Minato can’t imagine he wouldn’t be delighted to have two.

He glances over at the bulletin board and is surprised to see Mitsuru standing there, speaking quietly on her phone. She hadn’t been there before he’d gone into the office– just how long had today’s impromptu lecture gone on? 

Mitsuru finishes her conversation and flips her phone closed with the most elegance he’s ever seen someone do that with. Only then does she notice Minato, and she offers him a kind smile.

Minato tilts his head and she understands that as a sign to continue.

Minato hums in agreement. He remembers just how strict Mitsuru had been when Sanada was injured, and Aragaki suffered much worse than a fractured rib.

Minato mimes counting with his fingers and Mitsuru seems to stifle a noise that someone more foolhardy might call a snort, pruning it down into a much more dignified chuckle.

[yuseirra]

Can you make a comic where hikaru and ai are having romantic physical touch, like kissing or cuddling???

I actually never seen hikaru and ai being romantically together, I always love your doodle and theory about hikaai❣️❣️❣️❣️

I hope you never stop 💖💖💖💖🥰🥰🥰

Hello~~~ heheheh.. I.. I was really surprised when I found this in my inbox today as I had my eyes open at 3am in the morning. What a coincidence because I ACTUALLY GAVE THIS AN ATTEMPT. JUST RIGHT BEFORE I READ THIS ASK. What timing, wow!! this was going to be left in my notes forever because I-...'d have been too shy to post it publicly but yeah it's dawn and I'm half-awake and dazed and all, I'm going to drop it here and slide back into the abyss

(yeah please do listen to Ruler Of My Heart btw I even translated the lyrics for you guys...it's in the link!! Imagine it's them singing them together lol. i listened to that as I drew this earlier)

I picture it's Ai who's made all the big advances, I mean that's exactly what's happened in the work. She initiated things. I think Hikaru'd have treated her very carefully considering how sweet he used to be.

To add, at this point I'm pretty sure these guys are at least inspired from Amenouzume and Sarutakhiko, they share too many similarities with those gods; and if that's the case, then even this is pretty accurate towards the legend and the gods because Amenouzume is the one who approached and got her man to love her, legends state SHE flirted w him and they just.. get married right after that. He just took a liking to her immediately... Even better, she literally got the perfect guy being the adorable and precious goddess she is, I'm so proud of her!! He governs over so many things and is so powerful (like one of the seven gods who have the title of Okami) but most of all he's virtuous!! He's noble!! Hey if I'M Japanese and and I write stories about the entertainment industry with gods involved there is NO way I don't incorporate this story somewhere?? I'd be so disappointed if it's not going to be mentioned when Amenouzume's already been brought up.

The reply got really long because I got overboard about this ship again, I'll put a read more ;)

If you've ever seen me throughout all these years, I draw tons of cuddles and fluff but I NEVER draw anything more than a cheek kiss, ever because I get embarrassed to bits. But with these guys...UGH let me justify myself, things look really bad rn but they ACTUALLY CANNOT GET ANY MORE MUTUAL IN CANON...

One of them states they were only alive when they had the other and that they loved her from the bottom of their heart and the other says they wanted to live with the other forever and confesses they were the first one they ever wanted to love, even while they didn't fully understand what love is!!! How strong IS THAT??

I care so much about canon, as soon as those dropped I just, there is no way I can't unsee that. It's just there. Furthermore, they already have two kids between them!!! They did all the things a couple would do, wouldn't they have??? I'm sure with all the positive comments they've made about each other, I can just go on and on.

What I can infer is, if there is someone who can make Ai drop those from her mouth out of her heart.. they're definitely the one who's made her really happy. She can't get more loving than that..he managed to do it, so I see him being so precious to her, he's worth everything to her you know? She went through so much for Kamiki's sake and yet she's so warm towards him I just can't!!! That's what got me because I could already see HE would have "loved" Ai a lot may it be twisted or not. Ai is smart. She's so serious about love too. Then what they had must have been so genuine. He couldn't have hurt her or made her suffer, that's not how it works.

The way I see it, he actually used to be the really gentle and timid type(this is what really gets me; he was so kind!!;), and he totally shifted upon having lost her. HE USED TO BE SO SOFT!!; and he still kinda is. I can see how he'd have been really nice in the past, it sort of does still seep through his behavior. He's just totally broken. This guy, I'm pretty sure he devoted himself to a cause related to Ai's life after she'd been gone...his life after her death is just him struggling to do something related to her, he's written that way and that's how he broke. How did he- what happened?? I just; he's broken so bad!!; Well.

Back to you, @jusmingamba :) I'm someone who's nuts over keeping close to canon,

if canon doesn't disappoint me, I can keep going... 'v')9 Thanks for the support! I don't want to stop either, I hope the MANGA doesn't make me feel that way, it's been so rough.. I knew it was going to be a tough road ;v; BUT GOSH. It's been so bumpy and tense and everything, I keep saying this over and over, but just what kind of guy did Ai love/?? The thing is, I see many good things about him but???;;; they make him appear as if he's so evil too so. I hope that's intentional. He has/had all the potential to be this really interesting and complex character, I hope they use it. I CAN. I WOULD. I CAN DO IT. SO I can't picture the artists not doing it themselves.. it'd be such a waste!!

If anything, they have to come back to them at least once before the manga ends because I cannot see Ai's wish being disregarded. That was an important plot point and I just DON'T see the plot being that cruel to her. They've been so cruel to Hikaru, geez.. but if he's someone she loved so much, I hope what she wanted does come through one way or the other, that's the only way I see this being a "fulfilling" story in the end.

I lost sleep.. I'm going to be so tired today and also pretty embarrassed from posting this but I regret nothing!! You're welcome!! Have a nice day!!!!

[apocalypseornaw]

Fighting Hurts

Follow up to Love is a Fight

Set in my Always be Yours verse

Yall it's angst just be warned

Requested by @cat-lockwood

Weeks had passed since you left the bunker. The memory of the tears in Dean's eyes as you begged him to let you go tortured you. You knew it was best for you both, he'd be distracted with you there and christ chances were you'd probably end up well and truly dead before Amara ended her rampage but what choice did you have besides to go down swinging?

The cabin you were staying in was one Bobby had won off Rufus in a bet way back when. It was sturdy and didn't leak, plus it had electricy ran to it which was a plus considering most of Rufus' cabins didn't. The warding was painted onto every inch of the interior. It'd taken you the better part of a day.

You hated admitting you were scared but this time you were. You were alone, cut off from everyone you knew in fear that should Amara come after you it would put anyone else in her sights. You wouldn't answer any of Deans or Sam's calls. You knew if you even heard Dean's voice your resolve would break.

----------

After some consideration and a whole lot of literal cabin fever you decided a simple case wouldn't hurt. You ended up finding what looked like a simple salt and burn so you headed out on it, what was the worst that could happen?

Dean was losing his mind. Since you'd left Lucifer had possessed Cas and Chuck had revealed himself to be God. Chuck was willing to assist them against Amara, he wanted nothing more than to see her dead or at least caged back up then maybe you'd come home. You'd some home blocked your phone to the point that it would ring but Sam couldn't track you and damn your connections with the covens littered around the states you were warded to the point Chuck couldn't find you.

He was scared that the truth was something had happened to you, you were gone and had died thinking he'd pick anyone over you.

----------

He watched the numbers flash by on the laptop in front of him "Cmon Amara. Where the hell are you?" "Hello Dean" he looked up to see her at the end of the table much the same way she'd been those weeks ago that drove you out of his arms.

She smiled "I missed you. It's been a while since we've spoken. I'm aware my brother has resurfaced. If he should reach out to you, he should that Lucifer his favorite isn't doing so well" before Dean could ask what she meant she waved her hand showing a tortured Cas or his vessel at least. "Say nothing of your friend Castiel"

There were burns over most of his face and he looked like he was barely hanging on. The image of Cas disappeared but Amara continued to speak "By ignoring me my brother is allowing this to happen along other things that should perk yours and Sam's interest"

She waved her hand again and an image of you appeared. You couldn't even stand like Cas could. You were curled into your self, the shirt you wore he recognized as one you took from his drawer. It was ripped down the spine and he could see what looked like bone sticking free from your skin "I must say Y/N is strong for a human. I can almost see your attraction to her" Dean was on his feet the moment the image of you disappeared "Let her go"

Amara smiled "My brother simply needs to come out of hiding and I may end her suffering"

You felt your body tense just from hearing Amara's voice "Oh Lucifer she isn't dead is she?" You pushed yourself up to lean against Lucifer's legs, the fact that he was wearing Cas as a vessel gave you comfort because you could almost imagine it was Cas.

Lucifer looked down at you weakly "This one? I've already killed her once and it didn't stick" Amara laughed wickedly "She is something isn't she? Drew the attention of not one but two Winchesters"

Lucifer looked at you again as Amara continued "Oh yes she betrayed Dean, with his brother and yet assumes he'd ever chose her over me" you felt tears hit your eyes but Lucifer moved his leg to get your attention and shook his head. Unfortunately Amara noticed. "Tsk tsk tsk. Can't have you two bonding" with that she used her powers to electrocute Lucifer as you felt her shadows dig into your back again. Your screams mixed with his, echoing in the silo.

Working with Metatron, being Amara bait..anything Dean was getting you back.

---------

You were barely conscious, focusing on your breathing. You knew you wouldn't die, you'd gotten close over the last few days but Amara would heal you to start to process again. She'd finally left after rubbing salt into your wounds that Dean had called out to her.

You laid next to where Lucifer was tied, knowing it was useless to try to run. A familiar sound hit your ears and you told yourself you were imagining it but as it got closer you realized you weren't. That was the impala.

"Y/N!" You heard Sam's voice and flinched away from it. How could you face him or Dean? Amara was right, you were poison to the Winchesters. You'd nearly caused one brother to kill the other. You felt his hands on your face and started to sob "Please don't touch me. Just let die"

You could hear Metatron reciting incantations to free you and Lucifer but couldn't summon the energy to ask "Take him Sam. He can help get rid of her" Sam had you up in his arms the moment he could and was carrying you to the impala "GET HIM FREE METATRON. I'LL COME BACK FOR HIM"

Sam laid you down gently on the backseat, carefully of the areas that made you whimper in pain "It's gonna be ok Y/N. I promise" he pulled his jacket off to lay over you then ran back into the silo.

A few moments later the older guy who'd been with Sam and Metatron jumped in next to you and Sam squealed tires leaving with Lucifer in the front seat next to him.

----------

You must have passed out because Sam slamming on brakes brought you back around to see Amara standing in the road. "Sam" you called weakly, knowing the four of you had no chance against her.

Sam threw the impala into reverse but Amara stopped it. "You really aren't worth sparing. None of you" she leaned her head back and you knew this was it. You closed your eyes, feelings tears slip down your face. "We're gonna die" was the only thought that went through your head when suddenly the impala slammed down in...the bunker?

---------

"What happened?" The older guy hollered. Sam cut his eyes at Lucifer then climbed out to help you but you pushed his hands away despite barely being able to stand on your own.

You slowly followed him and Lucifer up the stairs to find Chuck in the war room. You were leaning heavily against the wall as Chuck said "Occasionally I do answer a prayer" so Chuck was God.

He looked from Lucifer to you before snapping his fingers. You took a deep breath, no longer in physical pain. You had no clue what was going on or where Dean was but you felt a wave of dizziness wash over you and the next thing you knew the room went dark.

"What the hell do you mean she passed out? Didn't you heal her?" Dean asked Chuck in nearly a growl. He'd gotten back to the bunker to news you'd barely been alive, was healed then passed out. Sam was in the infirmary with you on the phone with Rowena as to what could bring you around.

"I healed her physical wounds Dean. Amara tortured her, strong or not Y/N is human" Dean pushed past him and headed for the infirmary.

----------

Sam had Rowena on speaker as he sat at your bedside. Rowena didn't even like Crowley, her own son but for you? She'd dropped what she was doing to find a spell to help and was doing it. The moment she was done you started to stir "It worked Rowena. She's coming around" "Well of course it did Samuel. Now if the poor dear needs a way out of that mad house tell her to call me" with that she hung up.

----------

You felt like you were drowning, the way waves would let you come up for air only to shove you down again. You could feel something pulling you out but didn't know what until you recognized the accent. Rowena. You held onto her voice with everything you had until your eyes opened to the bright fluorescents in the infirmary.

You could hear voices. First Rowena and Sam then Dean's voice joined. You couldn't focus. You just laid there trying to breathe. What had Amara done to you?

---------

Dean stopped at the door of the infirmary the moment he saw your still form. "Sam?" He called rooted to the spot. He couldn't see you dead, he wasn't strong enough to lose you..

"She's alive Dean. Amara just damaged her psyche, she blocked her aura according to Rowena. She's conscious but not really alert" Dean felt a weight lift from his chest. You were alive.

---------

He crossed the few steps to the bed and gently touched your hand "Sweetheart?" Your eyelids fluttered before they slowly opened. As they did you snatched your hand away from him "Dean?"

He tried not to show the hurt he felt at you pulling away. "You're home Y/N... its gonna be ok" He attempted a smile but you started to cry "I can't Dean. Not right now. I love you but please you and Sam just give me some space"

He could feel his heart shatter but he nodded "Of course. If you need anything just holler ok?" You nodded, nearly hyperventilating from the tears. He wanted nothing more than to hold you but knew that would make it worse. "I love you" he whispered before Sam nearly pulled him from the room.

------------

Dean walked into the war room, feeling as if his feet weighed a hundred pounds a piece. You were so damn broken and why? Because you loved him. "Dean?" Sam asked, touching his shoulder but he tensed up "Not now Sammy. Not now"

[fullscoreshenanigans]

What do you think would happen if Emma had been sent to lambda instead of Norman?

I like the tags on this art by @norman-ratri-truther:

#i cant tell what roleswap scenario would be interesting #Emma and Norman swap places in most ways. Emma wants to eliminate the demons / Norman wants peace OR #Emma goes to Lambda/Norman goes to Goldy Pond HOWEVER Emma still wants peace. and Norman still wants to eliminate the demons #like is their opposite views on demons more so a result of the things they experienced after leaving Grace Field? #or does it rely more heavily on just who they are and how they were raised AT Grace Field #would the experiments at Lambda be able to push Emma into wanting to kill the all the demons? #would meeting Yuugo/Lucas/everyone at Goldy Pond. would meeting Mujika/Sonju make Norman want peace? #i feel like it wouldn't. i think it would change things a lot but i feel like their initial goals could remain the same #i mean ultimately they fit perfectly in the spot of the story that they are in #but its fun to think abt #i just need to figure out how Ray would be changed. i thought abt it too much in the context of Norman and Emma (via @polychromatiica)

#possibly the most interesting direction I’ve seen for this concept #like— Lambda!Emma will have to face moral crises and quandaries that canon!Emma never did #but I don’t think that would be enough to break her idealism (it didn’t really break Norman’s either) #an Emma whose ‘nobody can die’ philosophy and leadership is genuinely challenged?? that’s terrifying to me #an Emma who has to decide whether or not to ‘mercy-kill’ the mass production children— but she’d definitely make that a group decision #in that way she’s healthier than Norman but also crueler and this idea is INSANE #and Goldy Pond!Norman will confront a wider range of demons—Sonju and Mujika but also the corrupt GP aristocrats #he wouldn’t hesitate to go for the kill with Leuvis #and he’d still be surrounded by kids who hate demons and have suffered because of them #BUT he’d have a far healthier adult figure in Lucas (if not Yugo) then he ever had in canon #and he wouldn’t be nearly as much of a ‘savior’ figure this time around #so there’s all sorts of ambiguity with that #and RAYYYYY #a Ray who escapes with Norman not Emma? #he definitely still gets better mentally but it would look so different!! #because I don’t think a Ray who escapes with Norman has been ‘shocked’ in the same way that canon!Ray has #because Ray already respected Norman as the ‘best’ of them #and without Emma’s victory allowing him to fall for the ferocious joy and surprise of her perspective he wouldn’t change as much or as fast #because ‘you don’t have to give up’ comes from Norman but Ray needed Emma to pull him out of his mindset #Emma expands Ray’s world and Norman transforms it (via @esthelle-wanders)

#LOVE THE IDEA OF THIS AU SO MUCH!!!! #it would be such poetic/narrative justice if they went through each others experiences with their respective worldviews still in tact #i can imagine Emma seeing her worldview justified because both human researchers AND demons are at Lambda #so both are equally capable of being human/horrible #while Norman has a much more hostile view of Yuugo like he originally had with wanting to leave Ray behind #it would be so interesting if Emma's mentality while seeing Yuugo suffer was “we have to save him with the kindness he never got but we did” #while Norman and Ray's would be “being kind didn't save the one person who wanted to save everyone so why should we save him?” #it would be SO interesting for Ray and Norman to have a more selfish/grounded perspective in Goldy Pond #prioritizing the info on Minerva and getting out to save their own family and not risking their survival for someone else's (via @graphx)

I'd probably opt for a nature-based perspective, even though with Emma and Norman switching stances along with their roles there'd still be a difference in how they interact with the people around them. This is something that would crop up in a Lambda Ray AU too, but neither he nor Emma would let the Lambda kids elevate them to the level of a god. There's less distance and more communication, even if they opt to keep the secret of suffering from Lambda illness.

What kind of seals it for me is Norman being the most ruthless out of the trio (he gets it from his mother) in addition to him having the most rigid, black-and-white morality. I talk about this a bit here too, but he's prone to placing those he loves on pedestals. It's why he's so devastated and angry when he discovers the truth about Isabella and Grace Field and when he discerns Ray is the traitor. He would have been content to sacrifice Ray if Emma hadn't interfered, even if he would have regretted it later, because Ray had firmly slotted himself as an enemy in his mind.

(Chapter 4 | Chapter 14)

Emma's perceived death further fuels his loathing for demons and enshrines her atop the pedestal he's placed her on, but now in even more of an ethereal way. Her ideals were just, befitting of one filled with a wellspring of benevolence, and in a kinder world they would have been the moral underpinning of the universe.

But the world they find themselves in is far from that, and surely her ideals wouldn't extend to demons, not even ones that seem as human as Sonju and Mujika. While it would be foolish to not take advantage of the help they offer, in the end, it isn't worth the risk, and Sonju says as much.

(Chapter 46)

It's more pragmatic to extend Emma's kindness and understanding toward fellow humans like Yuugo. Even if Norman and Ray would be much more quick to cut their losses on this or with anyone who established themselves as a threat to their family if push came to shove (and they would have a back-up plan before approaching him), there's still the possibility of appealing to their shared hatred of the demons and uniting over that.

Also unlike in a Lambda Ray AU, I think Ayshe's father would be alive, and he and Ayshe would be aiding Emma in her cause, if not the whole group of scrapped demon followers of Minerva that Shirai originally wanted to include.

(Mystic Code Book Chapter 4)