#and she was such a pretty baby and she looked so HAPPY | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kingsoowolves · 2 days ago

Text

constant | s. es

pairing: Best friend!Eunseok x fem!reader

word count: 9.2k

author's note: This has been sitting in my drafts for a while because I desperately wanna give it a part two, but I don't have the timeeeeeeee :( so if you like this, pretty please tell me and put your foot on my butt so I write it :) Inspired by nothing else but my sick twisted mind full of angst. Hope you enjoy!

contents: Best friends turned to friends with benefits turned to (awkward) best friends again turned to ?????? Angst, semi smut (as in descriptions of first time having sex + heavy make out session with grindind and feeling each other up), and more angst because I'm crazy. Eunseok has a girlfriend on the latter part of this, so there's cheating involved (trigger warning). Reader's father dies when she's very young (more trigger warning). Other riize members + random idols mentioned for worldbuilding. No happy ending (for now).

you can also read this work on my ao3, if you'd like

For as long as you can remember, Song Eunseok has been a constant in your life.

Some of your oldest memories are from when you were around six and, by then, you already spent most of your afternoons on playdates with the boy next door and his mom.

Your mother recounts the day you’ve met when you were both five-year-olds with elaborate detail. After your dad’s sudden death scarred your lives, you moved into a far place where nobody knew you. The day you settled in your new house, your mom took you for a stroll around the neighborhood to get to know the area and you ended up in a playground packed with kids from all ages.

According to her, you were the one who approached Eunseok. He was a shy boy playing by himself on the sand box with his toy rocket ship when you came over, hair in pigtails with pink ribbons and a gap between your teeth from losing your first baby tooth only a week prior, your face eclipsing the sunlight that hit his forehead. Your mom says that when he looked up, anyone could tell he had just found something brighter than the sun to beam over him.

Or at least that’s what she likes to say to get you both flustered now that you’re young adults.

Nevertheless, since that day you’ve been attached at the hip and it was clear that your bright outspoken personality complemented his quiet observant one. Although the contrast sometimes was a bit too much for people. Sunshine extroverted girl running around with brooding introverted boy? It made no sense for them. When you started getting older and others’ comments and side-eyes got progressively worse, you showed everyone how you could be the cross one if they pushed too far. You spent a lot of time kicking shins and pulling heads full of hair from the boys that bullied Eunseok and the girls who talked bad behind his back just because he was timid. You also talked back to any adult who dared to make a nasty comment about your friendship. By the time you reached middle school, everyone in your little town knew not to mess with you or your friend.

Finally, you were free to play and be with Eunseok to your heart’s content, without having to worry about snide remarks that could upset him. Now you could enjoy your time with your best friend from the whole wide world and not care what people think, because for once they were not announcing it to you. It made the connection between you two much stronger.

You constantly reminisce of days spent with him, learning everything there was to know about each other.

The first thing you learnt about Eunseok was how much he likes the universe. He told you everything about it — how old it is, what it is made of, what humanity knows and does not know about it. He told you scientific discoveries and theories, recited every galaxy, planet, meteorite he could remember the name of and filled your days with interesting facts and anecdotes about his passion. Every word out of his mouth would make you gawk, both because of how amazing it all sounded and because you couldn’t believe he was able to gather that much information at such a young age.

When you’d talk about your future selves, you always wished to become something plain and silly as any girl would say, like an actress or an idol, but Eunseok dreamed of greater professions. He wanted to be an astronaut, an aerospace engineer, an astrophysicist, a project manager. Sometimes you’d feel small and pathetic from how big his dreams were compared to yours. But it was your own mind’s fault, never Eunseok’s. He never viewed you as any less than him just because you had differing interests and specially never made you feel stupid for being a girl.

Eunseok took interest in your hobbies. He let you play dress up with him, loving the cute Sanrio hair pins you put on his head and complimenting you on your make up skills once you were done and he looked at himself in the mirror. He listened to you talk for hours about your favorite artists and retell him the plot of the latest drama you were watching with your mom. He became a fan of anime because of you and you started binge-watching a bunch together. He listened to your music and even made you a personal playlist of your favorite artists one day. And he was also the one who accompanied you to their concerts, buying you merch and sticking by your side, laughing whilst you screamed your lungs out for the people on stage.

Getting to know Eunseok and spending time with him was the best part of your days and when people finally stopped disturbing you about your friendship, you had more time to spend with each other. Though you were so relieved about it that you didn’t prepare yourself for the next big change — high school.

Puberty and hormones are a funny thing. One day your best friend is the rejected loner nerd everybody seems to look down on. The next day he’s the cute sexy boy-with-thick-framed-glasses that everyone is looking at.

You and Eunseok were never ready for the kind of attention he started to receive in your second year of high school. His once perpetually empty desk nook was now filled to the brim with chocolates on Valentine’s Day and notes with declaration of love. Girls suffered when they didn’t get a gift back from him on White Day and suddenly, without your consent, everybody appointed you as Eunseok’s personal messenger, handing over confessions' letters for him during lectures or even dropping them inside your locker or backpack when you weren’t looking. You hand delivered every single one of them to him, complaining about it the whole time, just to watch him read the contents of each letter and then rip them apart, throwing them in the nearest trash can. Whenever you stared at the shreds of paper inside the bin for a second too long, Eunseok grabbed your wrist and pulled you along to walk out the school's hallways with him.

You were always wondering if he liked the attention or not, but you never asked him about it and you’re sure he would never admit it even if that was the case.

Another thing that you wondered about was what the fuck all the girls abruptly started seeing in him. Up until then, you were the only one who knew how special Eunseok was. But that was because you saw something in him on that first day at the playground nobody else did and you spent years actually growing together with him. You knew Eunseok was a kind soul, a helpful friend and an overall amazing guy, but that was because he let you in.

The girls who were flocking behind him didn’t know that he preferred a mango Melona over a watermelon one. Or that he always double knotted his shoelaces and insisted on you doing the same every time you tripped over your shoes. Or that whenever you came back home together, he waited for you to get inside your house and lock the door before going to his home right beside it. They didn’t know he used to help your mom whenever your car had a mechanical problem or that he tasted every single one of your failed baking recipes, no matter how bad they were. They didn’t know he cooked whole meals with his mother and took care of their garden with his father. Or that whenever your mother took the night shift at the hospital, he made you a lunchbox for dinner and for breakfast. They didn’t know he always grabbed you a strawberry milk at the school’s canteen when they were close to running out. Or that when your first boyfriend broke up with you barely two weeks after you started dating, he comforted and hugged you for hours while you cried in his arms. Or that when you told him you didn’t know if the few memories you have of your father were real or just fabricated from old pictures, videos and stories your mother tells you, he comforted you by saying that your heart remembers him and that was what mattered.

They didn’t know he loved dad jokes and would hit you with them at least three times a day, making you roll your eyes and laugh with every new one out of his mouth. They didn’t know his gruff voice turned soft and airy when he sang and that, on starry nights, he laid by your side on your backyard lawn and talked about all the constellations in the night sky over your heads. They didn’t even know how athletic he actually was and about how you both went to Sungchan’s house every Wednesday after class where Eunseok proceeded to kick Sungchan’s ass at basketball while you watched and sipped on your bubble tea.

You knew Eunseok, those girls didn’t.

They only saw a hint of a stubble on his jaw and his shoulders getting broader one day and decided he was finally worth the attention when you knew of this fact since day one.

And the possibility that any of those desperate tramps could ever get to know him like you did made your stomach churn. Eunseok’s response to them just bugged you further. He never responded to any advances, but never outright rejected them either. He seemed apathetic about it, and maybe that should’ve told you something, but you couldn’t figure it out now and much less when you were sixteen.

Fortunately, after a while, those girls stopped humiliating themselves looking for the attention he never gave them and things more or less went back to normal, with them labeling him as a pretentious loser and going back to their stupid lives. And you had him all to yourself again.

The next time your relationship with Eunseok changed only happened in the winter break before your last year of school and it was provoked by you. You still don’t know why you did what you did. Maybe it was the hormones. Maybe it was the small list of guys that had already broken your heart by then. Maybe it was just the fear of going to college as a still inexperienced and never desired eighteen-year-old. Maybe it was because you were afraid of the near future, of a life without Eunseok coming just around the corner.

You knew that once you finished high school, he would probably study in Seoul or maybe even go abroad. The life in your little town would never be enough for him. He was too intelligent and dedicated to his studies to not aim high. And you would just stay behind, because you couldn’t bear the thought of leaving your mom alone in the world and because you were never a good student anyway. The thing with being extroverted is that it can land you many contacts, but they won’t mean a thing if you don’t have the qualifications to back them up. Either way, you were stuck there. Eunseok would fly and you would just watch and cheer for him from afar. So you needed something to hold on to, something to completely mark the memories you had together forever.

All you remember is that you were huddled together inside his room, on your weekly movie night, watching an anime Eunseok loved for the thousandth time and you got distracted by his eyelashes, how they softly pressed the skin under his waterline anytime he blinked, how the blue glow from the TV made they seem a tone lighter and smooth to the touch, and how desperately you needed to feel them with your fingertips. Next, you stared at his eyebrows, thick and designed and really pretty. Really really pretty. Like all of him. Then, while he was laughing about something in the movie, you raised your hand as if to mindlessly touch his brows because it was like they were calling to you, but Eunseok caught your wrist mid-movement, pulling back before you could graze his skin.

He gasped and looked at you with wide eyes and you asked him the most ridiculous question that ever came out of your mouth.

“Seok, will you be my first?” You said.

He didn’t ask what you meant, because he knew exactly what you were talking about. He didn’t ask if you were serious, because he knew you were. He didn’t ask if you were sure, because he also knew you were. Because he knew you. One look at your face and he could see the sincerity dripping from your whole being.

“Yes,” he replied a half second later. And then he pulled you in for a kiss.

You would like to say that you kept your calm through all of it, that you didn’t feel shaken or nauseated with nerves and that you did everything exactly like the magazines guided, like your friends talked about when telling their experiences, like the spicy videos you watched late at night showed, like the romantic movies made it seem. You’d like to say that you kissed Eunseok with certainty, that you took off your clothes sensually and that you grabbed his cock the right way.

But Eunseok’s bedroom would beg to differ. The laptop on his study desk saw how your lips faltered over his skin and overheard your frenzied mind wondering if you were doing everything right. His calendar snickered at you while your t-shirt got stuck on your earring on its way off your body and how you fumbled to free the fabric and almost ripped your ear off. The posters on his walls watched your trembling fingers struggling with the buckle on his belt for thirty seconds until Eunseok took pity on you and unfastened it himself. The clock beside his TV looked at your expectant eyes when he deposited kisses on the valley between your breasts and continued going down, down, down. When his fingers inside you were unexpectedly precise in driving you to your first peak and you asked him if he had done that before, the lamp on his nightstand listened to the sound of your disappointed gasp after he said “Yes”. His sheets felt the nervous tugs of your hand whilst you pumped Eunseok’s dick in an unsteady rhythm and at an awkward angle with your other hand. His bed frame picked up on your hoarse moans once he finally slid into you, sounds that only grew louder and raspier with each drive of his hips forward. His mattress could testify to how slick you got in between your legs and about the mess you left behind. His books eavesdropped on you promising to each other in between whimpers that it was only a one time thing, never to happen again, and that it wouldn’t change your friendship. And once your joint orgasm took over you both, the stars stickers on his ceiling shined bright right at your wrecked and fucked out face.

After, when your head was laying on Eunseok’s chest and he started to snore, you reached out and touched his eyebrows and lashes, brushing against them one by one while an indescribable feeling took over you.

You’d also like to say that you kept your promise or that at least you tried to keep it, but two days later you both found ourselves in the same compromising position — naked and on his bed. By the start of the school year, you were meeting up almost everyday and fucking at least for three days out of the week.

Being with Eunseok like that showed you a whole new side of him. Of course he still took care of you in every way possible, but he stopped being so nice and gentle all the time. There was no space for tenderness when he was too busy fucking you from behind, tweaking your peaked nipples, thrusting his cock into your mouth until you gagged on it, collecting your drool to use as lubricant, curling his fingers deep inside you, telling you how much he loved your cunt and begging you to cum for him. But you preferred it this way. You could take his rough fucking.

What you couldn’t handle were the soft moments in between, when he brushed your sweaty hair back and gazed deeply into your eyes, and when he asked in his softest voice if you were feeling good — if he was the reason you felt so good —, and when he told you how much he liked you and how perfect you were for him, and when he admitted he thought about you two like that for so long, and when he murmured sweet words to you like a prayer, and when he caressed your skin as if you were a goddess and he was your faithful servant.

What you really couldn’t handle was Eunseok’s confession three months later. The look on his face when you replied to his "I love you" with “You deserve someone better than me” will haunt you forever. You had never seen him put on his clothes and storm out of your room so fast before.

After that night, you didn’t hook up again and things turned awkward. But Eunseok was still a kind soul, a helpful friend and an overall amazing guy. All he gave you was three weeks of complete radio silence — no texts, no calls, no extracurricular meetings, not even a glance your way during classes. You even stopped going to and coming back from school together. And then on one sunny Tuesday, when you were on your way home in the afternoon, he trailed behind you and eventually your footsteps fell side by side. Eunseok didn’t say a thing whilst your sneakers pressed against the pavement at the same rhythm. You also didn’t dare to speak a single word, afraid any sound would scare him away.

Once you pulled up in front of your neighboring houses he picked some papers from inside his backpack and handed them to you.

“I took a copy of my notes from Calculus III. For that exam on Friday,” he explained.

You grabbed the sheets of paper and looked at his carefully crafted handwriting photocopied on them, how it was gentle and soft like almost everything he did. You looked up at him and asked, “Why are you giving me this?

He shrugged. “Thought you might need it.”

“Does this mean we are friends again?” You asked, your voice hopeful and unsure.

“You’ll always be my best friend, Y/N,” he said and his words carried a sorrow that pained your heart deeply.

Then he turned, climbed the three steps of his front porch and entered his house. He didn’t wait for you to get inside your home and lock the door like he used to. He just left you there. You felt relieved that he put himself over you at least once. Even if it was also his way of forgiving you.

It took a while for you to feel comfortable with each other again. And even still, it wasn’t the same as before. You had to find a new normal.

The new normal came with not having Eunseok doing so many nice things to you. He didn’t let you get the last pizza slice anymore or save you a seat on school’s assemblies you always got late to. Your once duo movie nights turned into something you’d do with a group of friends, at least one other person to ease the obvious tension still lingering in between you. And that’s when group gatherings, either going out with friends or meeting at someone’s house, became even more common. Because being alone with him in an enclosed space was definitely off limits. You needed to fill all the space in between you with people and things so there wouldn't be any left for thoughts and feelings.

The new normal also included saying goodbye to Eunseok at the end of the year. He ended up enrolled at Pusan National University’s science program and you stayed at your town studying tourism in a local uni. His college was still close to your town, it was only one hour and ten minutes drive from your house to his dorm, maybe one and a half if there was traffic. And he came home every other weekend, where you’d often meet and be your childhood selves together again. Still, not having him part of your everyday life hurt you more than you thought it would.

Then, two months after your second year at college started, he showed up at your house late on a Friday night, all merry and giddy. You immediately knew something was up.

“I have to tell you something,” he said under the light of your entryway while he took off his shoes.

“What is it?” You asked, taking a step back to prepare yourself for the news.

“I have a girlfriend,” he whispered, breaking your heart in a million pieces.

Her name is Sian and she is everything you aren’t — lovable, smart, caring, and with the same interests as Eunseok.

When he brought her home one weekend, she was warm and kind. She talked to you as if you were a close friend and apparently did not care a bit that you, another woman, are Eunseok’s best friend. Also, she makes Eunseok grin like no one else does and you’re grateful for that, because his smiles are hard to come by ever since that night you told him he deserves someone better. Turns out he did find someone better. And you can’t even hate her because she is a truly good person. But you do envy her.

That’s what you’re doing right now, envying Sian. It’s movie night and Eunseok is at your room, the both of you together and alone again after so many years, courtesy of Sungchan, Chaeryeong and Wonbin blowing you off to warm themselves up at a winter break party rather than hide at home under the blankets. It feels both awkward and familiar to be here with him, mostly because Eunseok is supposed to be watching the movie with you. You are supposed to be watching the movie, too, but you’re stuck observing him from the corner of your eye for fifteen minutes while he smiles and types away at his phone, texting his girlfriend. Said girlfriend who is currently traveling around France with her parents and bombing Eunseok’s phone with photos of her smiling prettily under the Eiffel Tower, in front of the Louvre, at Champs-Élysées. You don’t know why she takes so many photos. You don’t know why Eunseok has to react to every single one of them with a heart emoji and tell her how beautiful she looks. But you suppose that when you're pretty and rich and go to expensive places and have a caring boyfriend, that’s what happens. Not that you’d know any of that.

The thing is, envying Sian is not new to you. You’ve become used to it. It's quite easy to do it, actually. Because she has everything whilst you have nothing. She has money, beauty, intelligence and love. She has loyal friends and good people by her side. She has a balanced family and absolutely no childhood trauma from what you can tell. She definitely has some procedures on her face and her teeth are so perfect and bright it hurts your eyes. And she has an alive father, one that would for sure make a lovely father-in-law for Eunseok one day. Because she also has Eunseok.

And you like Sian. You really like her. But you can’t stand another minute of Eunseok not paying attention to anything that isn’t her – not paying attention to you.

“Seok, you’re not watching the movie,” you finally say after putting up with his constant texting for the last fifteen minutes.

He looks at you for a beat and puts his phone face down over his stomach, eyes shifting back to the laptop screen glowing in front of you both. “Sorry.”

He stays like that for a while, but then his phone vibrates and its screen glows and he picks it up again, spending another few minutes typing.

You shift uncomfortably on the far corner of your bed, the space between you and Eunseok as wide as the emotional distance you both created. “Eunseok, come on,” you whine, turning to him. “Are you for real right now?”

He doesn’t even glance your way this time, choosing to remain focused on whatever message he’s writing. “Sorry, I’m just texting Sian,” he says, as if you don’t know it already.

You sigh. “I know, but can’t you do it another time?”

“No. We haven’t been able to talk for a few days because of the time zones’ difference. And right now we’re both free and awake,” he explains.

His answer shoots an arrow straight through your chest. “Except you’re not free,” you remind him, your voice getting a tone higher. “You’re busy watching a movie with me!”

“Well, I need a couple minutes to talk with my girlfriend!” He counters.

“It’s been a couple minutes, alright? It’s been a few minutes, actually!”

“Y/N, I really don’t get what the problem is,” he says, finally looking at you again, seeming exasperated.

“The problem is you’re not watching the freaking movie!” You exclaim, feeling annoyed yourself.

He has the audacity to roll his eyes at you and turn back to his phone. “We watched this movie a billion times already.”

“It’s our favorite movie!” You say through gritted teeth, feeling offended.

“And we watched it a billion times before,” he repeats with a condescending tone, like he’s talking to a dumb kid. “My point still stands.”

“Well, if that’s how it’s gonna be,” you start, shutting the laptop down. You crawl down the bed and carry it with you before flicking your light back on, beyond yourself with anger. “Then movie night is over!” You finish, reaching for your study desk and putting your laptop on it with a little too much force.

Eunseok rubs at his eyes for a moment, the sudden clarity obviously affecting his vision as much as it’s affecting yours, but you’re too busy being mad to care for it.

Once he’s done adjusting his eyes, he comes back to the argument. “Oh God, it’s just a movie. You are so dramatic!”

His words only hurt you more. “If I’m so dramatic, why don’t you go back to your home and never look at me again since that’s what you prefer anyway?”

Eunseok stares at you for a second, then blinks. “What?”

“I said if I’m so dramatic—”

“No, no, no,” he interrupts you, flinging himself from the bed and tossing his phone at your nightstand in a single move. “I heard what you said, but what the fuck do you mean about it?”

You cross your arms, still defensive and livid. “Oh, come on, Eunseok! You don’t talk with me anymore. I know nothing about your life except for when you’re speaking about Sian. And that is all you talk about — Sian, Sian, Sian, all the fucking time. You never make time for us. And when by a chance we do have the opportunity to spend some time together, again you’re talking with her? You don’t pay attention to me and you don’t fucking care anymore! So if you don’t want my friendship, just say it and go away! We can be done and over with it!”

“Where did you get the idea that I don’t care about you? If I didn’t care, why would I be here?” He says, tips of his ears and apple of his cheeks getting red.

“But you’re not here!” You yell, moving a little towards him and slamming your hand on your dresser. A few of your personal items on it shake and fall. “You haven’t been here for a while now. You’re not present in this friendship anymore. We don’t talk, we don’t go out, we don’t stay in together. We never do anything just the two of us. We’re never alone and never together, not truly. And even when we’re with other people, your mind is also elsewhere all the time. Everything just feels empty and superficial between us.”

Eunseok’s face gets redder with each word you utter and when you’re finished he spats at you, “And whose fault is that, Y/N? Who the fuck ruined everything between us?”

“Oh, so now you’re ready to talk about it?” You question, taking a step in his direction and crossing your arms. “Not gonna act like a coward and pretend nothing happened like usual?”

He also starts to walk towards you. “I’m a coward? You’re the one who walked away from us because you were too afraid of taking a chance!”

“And I regret it everyday!” You exclaim. “I get that I hurt you, Eunseok. I get that, okay? But also, I just miss us!” Your throat tightens and your voice starts to get shaky and heavy, all thanks to your upcoming tears. “I miss you! I miss you so freaking bad!”

It’s then that you start to cry, overcome with guilt and remorse, tears flowing from your eyes and cascading on your flushed face.

Eunseok’s temper tones down at your reaction and he takes a step back to assess your state. When the tears don’t stop after a few seconds, he looks at you with sorrow in his eyes. “Y/N,” he says, voice soft and understanding.

You press the heels of your hands into your eyes and turn away at him, hiding from the pity in his gaze by leaning your head against the wall. Your arm accidentally bumps against the light switch when you do it and the room darkens around you.

It’s quiet for a while. Just the sound of your sobs and hiccups and Eunseok’s ragged breath near the bed. You can hear that he’s trying to calm himself down, taking deep breaths in and out. Then you hear the noise of his sock-covered foot sliding across your floor, informing you he’s taking a hesitant step toward you. After that one, comes a new step. And another. And one more. And after a couple more, you feel his presence a hair’s breadth away from you. It’s warm and inviting and it takes everything in you not to lean back against it.

But you don’t have to, because a moment later he’s closing the distance. His arms cross over the front of your stomach, his chest meets your back and his chin rests on the crown of your head. He’s enveloping you in a hug from behind, over and under you. His scent invades your nostrils – clean softener, cedar wood and a touch of the citrus hand cream you gave him weeks prior. It feels suffocating in the best way possible. You don’t want him to ever let you go.

“Oh, Y/N,” he sighs. “I had no idea you felt like that.” He tightens his arms around you and continues. “I miss you, too. I miss you so much.”

“I didn’t know,” you stutter. “You never told me.”

“Yeah, I guess we’re both losers with a communication problem, right?” He says with a chuckle, his chest trembling against your back. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” you sob, shaking your head. “Seok, I’m so sorry. For so many things.”

“Yeah?” He asks, pulling some hair away from the side of your face and snuggling his head on your shoulder. “Can you look at me and say that to my face, though?”

“Seok,” you whine, feeling guilty and vulnerable.

“Please?” He asks in a melodic voice. You can feel his breath right at your pulse and it takes everything in you not to ask him to kiss you. “I need to see your face to know that you really mean it.”

You sigh deeply, still ashamed, but does as he says. You do it slowly though. First you back away from the wall and pull your hands from your eyes, blinking at the shift from a complete blackout to the darkness of your room, still illuminated by the soft light of the hallway infiltrating from your half open door. Then you hastily clean a few tears from your face and brush your hair down, flicking it over your shoulders and trying to look like less of a hot mess. Only then you turn around to Eunseok and he lets his hands drift from the front of your stomach to your waist, still holding you close.

Your eyes dance over his form. Looking at his arms, his chest, his stomach, his shoulders. Everywhere but his face. He just waits while you gather courage, seconds passing through you.

Once you feel ready, you take another deep breath and look up, finally meeting his brown eyes again. They don’t have that anger that was present there a few minutes ago. The grudge they carried for you for years is also not there anymore. It makes you feel like crying again.

“Seok, I’m so sorry,” you hiccup, growing agitated again, new tears welling up your eyes. “I’m so sorry for so many things. For hurting you and for not talking about it and for not apologizing earlier and for not saying how—”

“Shhh, shhh, it’s okay, pretty girl,” he coos, hands cradling your face to wipe at your tear streaked skin. “I know. I believe you, okay? I really do.”

“I was so dumb, I’m still so dumb. I never told you—”

“Hey, no, don’t talk about my best friend like that, please,” he says, pulling you in so the side of your face is pressed against his chest.

You slide your hands under his arms and around his back, wrapping your arms around him to pull him back against you, his heartbeat echoing in your ear. “I’m still your best friend?” You ask, voice small and quivering.

He snickers and you feel his nose touching the crown of your head. His chest expands behind your cheek when he takes a whiff of your hair. “Haven’t I told you that already?” He says, each word making his lips move against your scalp. “You’ll always be my best friend, Y/N. Nothing can change that.”

You continue crying, dampening his t-shirt with your tears. “I was so afraid we’d never talk again.”

“I know, sweetheart, but you don’t have to be afraid anymore. I’m here with you now, right?”

“Are you? For real?” You ask, pushing off his chest to glance up at him.

Eunseok’s gaze melts at your insecurity and he lifts a hand to massage behind your head. “I am. For real.”

“You don’t hate me, then?” You ask, just to be sure.

“I could never hate you, Y/N. Where did you get that idea?”

You shrug and look down, biting on your lower lip. “I don’t know.”

But you do know. You thought he hated you because of what you did. And he’d had every right to if that was the case. You’re lucky he’s always been a kind soul, a helpful friend and an overall amazing guy.

He bends a little to catch your gaze, his thumb grazing your chin. “I’m here and I don’t hate you. I’ll be present again in this friendship from now on. Can you also do that?”

You nod quickly. “Yes, I can.”

“Great. Then we’re settled,” he says.

You smile and Eunseok smiles back at you. Then he rests his forehead on yours, sweeping back some strands of your hair and tucking them in behind your ear. You close your eyes and bask in his presence, at the certainty he's here with you now. You still have a lot to talk about, but you can do it calmly and over time. Right now what matters is that you found a middle ground. Everything else can wait a little bit longer.

You stay like that for a while, hugging tightly, feeling each other, growing confident the other won’t slip away. Until something shifts. Eunseok’s hands slide from the back of your head to your neck, his thumbs brushing on your skin. You know it’s an innocent act, that he’s just shifting his position a little. But you can’t contain the involuntary shiver that runs through your spine. You visibly shake in his embrace, opening your eyes with a gasp to find him already gazing deeply at you, his eyes darker than the last time you looked at him.

You flinch back and squeeze your eyes shut. “Sorry, I—”

“Don’t say sorry,” Eunseok commands, his voice lower than you've ever heard before. He rubs his thumbs down your clavicle and your body trembles again. “Don’t you ever say sorry about that.”

You take a shaky breath, the tension filling your nerves, and open your eyes again. He’s still looking at you and his fingers press against your nape to pull your face closer to his, his nose brushing against yours.

“Seok,” you whisper, not knowing if you’re giving him a warning or begging for something more.

He makes an appreciative sound behind his throat and presses his mouth on your skin timidly, his touch barely there. “I missed you saying my name like that so much,” he says, running his lips on your cheek. “It always sounds so airy, like just saying it gets you hot and bothered.”

You gulp down, processing his words. Eunseok just crossed a line saying that to you. And if you reply to him with what you have in mind, you’ll cross another. Then you’ll be playing a dangerous game, toying with the limits of your just recovered friendship and with the relationship he’s in. You’ve been here before and it did not go well for either of you. Chances are it won’t have a better outcome this time.

But it just feels so good… Would it really be so bad to cross just another teeny tiny line?

“You always get me hot and bothered,” you admit, feeling your chest constrict with guilt and desire.

Deep down you know this is wrong, you know Eunseok knows this is wrong. He has a girlfriend. He was talking to her barely ten minutes ago. Your friendship was just secured a few moments ago. You can’t do this. Whatever this is, you can’t go through with it. It wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be safe. It wouldn’t be wise.

The tension stretches whilst Eunseok doesn’t respond to you immediately. He remains silent for a beat, and then another one, and you’re about to retract your words, when he chuckles, blowing air on your face.

“I know, baby,” he says, the pet name and the way he says it going straight to your core. You decide to throw all caution out the window. You can’t go back now. Not anymore. To be honest, you could never deny him again.

He slides a hand down your body, his fingers brushing your clavicle and shoulder, then going to your back to skim over your spine. It trails lower until it squeezes your waist and pulls you more into him, making your bodies impossibly closer. “I felt that shiver, too, you know? I always feel so good when I’m close to you. It’s a big problem.”

You let him feel you up, fisting the front of his t-shirt on your hands while you try to remain calm. You’re frozen in place and completely at his mercy. You’ll give him everything he wants from you. You’re his for the taking. You always were.

His mouth brushes against the corner of your lips and you tilt your head up to preen closer to the touch, trying to draw out the feeling of his lips so close to yours for as long as possible.

Eunseok presses a kiss there and his hand glides under your top to feel the warm skin of your lower back. “When I was younger, I always had a boner whenever you so much as looked my way. I jerked off so many times thinking about you,” he reveals, careful eyes watching your reaction to his words. “I still do.”

You choke at the last piece of information, mind reeling with it. He used to touch himself to the thought of you. He still does it now. You wonder how he looks while he does it — how he sounds, how much precum he lets gather at the tip of his cock before touching it, how fast he cums. Almost all air leaves your lungs whilst you think about it.

“Really?” You ask, voice faltering. “Even after everything?”

He nods. “Even after everything. Even now. I can’t get you out of my head.” His fingers start to draw figure eights on your back. “I had to occupy myself with so many things to forget you. I tried so hard, but it was no use.”

Your heartbeat is wild and you’re trembling constantly now. But Eunseok doesn’t seem to care. He just pulls you closer and touches you more, making it impossible for you to stop shivering.

“Me too,” you confess, hands sliding up to the collar of his shirt, gripping it tightly. “No matter how hard I try, I can’t get over you. Over us. I still think about it all the time.”

“Yeah? What do you think about, baby?” He asks, putting his face in the crook between your neck and shoulder.

Your desire gathers between your legs and pools on your underwear so much it starts to feel uncomfortable. You need to take it off of you. You need him to take it off of you. You need him.

“I think about when we used to have fun together,” you say, wrapping your arms over his back.

“Oh,” he utters, descending both of his hands to fit them on your back pockets, squeezing your ass and flattening you against him, his hard-on nestled inside his jeans pressing against your pants’ crotch. It feels amazing. “You think about something like this?”

“Yeah,” you whimper, shifting your hips up to feel more of him. “When I touch myself, I always think about that.”

He releases a breath and drops a kiss on your neck, squeezing you more against him. “What more do you think about?”

“Your pretty cock,” you whisper, running a hand through his hair. “I think about how I used to suck it off and bounce on it. I miss it so much.”

“Oh shit, Y/N,” he groans, pelvis pulling back just to push forwards again, creating delicious friction between you. You feel dizzy with desire and you can only hope he feels the same way.

“Thinking about you always gets me so wet. I’m dripping by the time I’m finished,” you mutter, then you move your lips to his ear, preparing yourself to deal your final blow. “I’m so fucking wet for you right now, Seok.”

It’s Eunseok that shivers this time.

“Fuck, I wanna see that,” he says, a hand snaking in between your legs, cupping your sex over your pants. “I wanna feel it. Can I, baby?”

“Please,” you beg, pulling his face down by his collar until his forehead is pressed against yours again. “I need you so bad. You have no idea.”

“You got me, baby,” he whispers. “You got me.” And then he’s diving in to kiss you.

Eunseok kisses you like he’s claiming you and you kiss him back like you can’t bear spending another moment without his lips touching yours. It’s messy and sloppy, your mouths and tongues trying to suck and lick anything you’re able to reach, your teeth clenching together and biting sensitive skin. Each time one of you pulls back, the other moves forward again to connect your lips.

Kissing like this shows you just how much you wasted time not doing what you wanted. You could’ve been doing this for ages, you could be experienced professionals about how to make each other feel good. You could’ve been loving each other this close and this deeply instead of avoiding your feelings. God, you were so stupid for the longest time.

You’re completely out of breath once Eunseok’s lips slip down to kiss your neck, making you moan and shiver. Then he’s pushing you up until you land on the top of the dresser and you’re glad you have something to support yourself because your legs were about to give out at any moment.

He puts his body in between your thighs and pulls you to the edge of the dresser until he can roll his hips against yours again. You moan in unison and his hands squeeze your thighs whilst he resumes attacking your neck with his mouth.

“I thought about this so much,” you say, grinding on him. “Wishing we could do this all the time.” You pull on his hair until he’s looking at you again. “I always wanted you, Eunseok. Always.”

“I did, too,” he replies, hands slipping under your top to feel your bare skin, thumbs pressing on your sides.

You slide a hand down his stomach to find his belt, pulling on the buckle to unfasten it. Once you’re done, you pull it from his jeans quickly and throw it on the floor. “That’s not the only thing. What I’m trying to say is—”

The air is pulled from your lungs when Eunseok picks you up again and tosses you on your bed, crawling right up to your body until he’s hovering above you. The manhandling gets you light-headed and his hands coming up to cup your breasts empties your brain completely.

You can’t remember what you were saying. Your focus just zeros in on the way he’s ravishing you.

“Y/N,” he whispers while kissing your jaw.

“Yes?” You say, still dazed.

He moves his hand down to the button of your jeans, toying with it for a moment before pulling it out of its loop and drawing your zipper down. His hands skim on the waistband of your panties and you groan, feeling the heat of his fingertips so close to where you most want him.

“What you’re trying to say is?” He asks, tone light and fun, clearly teasing you for your dazed state for the past minute.

Your brain awakes again and you squeeze his arms, remembering what you were about to confess. “Right. What I’m trying to say is—”

Eunseok sucks on your pulse point and you groan, turned on and frustrated. You know he’ll just keep fogging your mind further until you are a blabbering mess. And although you’re not opposed to that, you really need a moment to catch your breath so you can communicate with him properly. After that, you can do what you both are clearly desperate to do.

“Wait,” you whisper, pushing on his shoulders. “I need a second.”

He pulls back slightly and looks at you, watching your chest heave with each breath you take. “You want to stop?”

You shake your head immediately and press your elbows to the mattress, supporting your head up to look at him. “No. I just need to tell you something.”

His fingers dig on your waist. “Sure, baby. What is it?”

You sigh, moving a hand to his chest and trying to make the words in your brain get out of your mouth. “What I’m trying to say is—” The words get stuck in your throat, a new wave of sudden sensibility hitting you right in the chest, impending them from coming out. You feel you’re about to sob again. “Fuck, I’m saying that I—”

The letters are right there, resting on the tip of your tongue, but they just refuse to get out. I love you, you wanna say. I love you, you wanna scream. I love you, I love you, I love you. That’s all you think about. Three little words that have been swimming inside you for as long as you remember. You waited your whole life to say that to him and now that you’re desperate to say it, your voice fails you, your fear taking over your mind, new tears welling up on your throat.

Eunseok watches you expectantly, just waiting. He’s patient with you, like he is most of the time. His eyes show that he knows what you’re going to say, but also that he badly needs to hear it, probably just as much as you need to tell him. It gives you the strength to push through your last restraints.

You take another shuddering breath and lock your eyes with his. “Seok, I lo—”

Then a sudden sound makes you both jump and he pulls back from you as you sit up on the bed. It takes a second to identify what it is, but the realization downs you both at the same time, your heads tilting together to look at the origin of the noise. It’s Eunseok’s ringtone accompanied by his phone vibrating on your bedside table. He’s receiving a call. And you don’t have to look at his screen to see who the caller is. You know it’s Sian. The woman he just cheated on with you.

Eunseok scurries down the bed to pick up his phone, turning his volume all the way down until the only sign of his girlfriend calling him is the picture glowing under her name on his screen. Then he puts the device into his pants’s pocket and stares at the wall in front of him. His back is turned to you and his shoulders are stiff whilst his phone screen still lights up inside his back pocket until it stills. But barely two seconds later it starts flashing again and you know Sian won’t stop calling until he picks up.

You just fucked up. Majorly so.

Hurting each other in the midst of your confusing feelings was all you’ve ever done in your life. The sting burned like hell, but it was your way, your uncomfortable comfort zone, something you’ve gotten used to. Upsetting and harmful, but still familiar, still you two. But hurting another person because of it — someone who has nothing to do with your shit, who is a good person above and all? That was a whole new level of dark and twisted.

You sigh, extremely disappointed with yourself, and run your hands through your hair. You knew you were a bad person, but apparently you never thought it would get to this extent. And now here you are.

What pulls you from the bed and puts you on your feet is Eunseok complete stillness. He’s quiet until his phone stops ringing for the third time, probably taking his girlfriend to voicemail. And he remains quiet when it starts to ring again. You get up to comfort him, to put a hand on his shoulder, because you can’t take seeing him hurt by something that is obviously your fault.

You were the one who held back your feelings. You were the one who made him confused. You were the one that confronted him, screamed and cried. You let him hug you, leaned into his arms, shivered and whispered his name like a prayer. You teased him, tempted him, made him cheat. Eunseok isn’t guilty of any of this, you are. It’s your responsibility to take.

You get off the bed and walk towards him. “Seok,” you say, reaching a hand out to touch his shoulder.

However, Eunseok flinches away from you, instantly springing back to life and starting to zip up his pants again. You pull your hand back to rest it against your chest, clenching it into a fist and holding your wrist with your other hand.

“I think I should go,” he says to the wall.

You take a step back and sigh. Guilt, shame, fear and rejection pull on your heartstrings, making your chest tight. You don’t have the energy nor the audacity to ask him to stay. Not after what you’ve just done.

“Okay,” you say in a small voice.

Eunseok turns to you, but his eyes look at a distant point at your bedroom wall. “I think we shouldn’t see each other for a while.”

You gulp down the tears swelling on your throat and nod. “Okay.”

He finally looks at you, eyes heavy with remorse. “I just need some time and space, Y/N.”

“Sure, I’ll give them to you,” you say, plastering a fake smile on your face, trying to comfort him despite falling apart inside. ”Whatever you need, Seok.”

“Thank you,” he sighs.

Then he’s back to recomposing himself and collecting some of his things left on the floor and you just stay there, watching him until he’s done. On his way out of your room, he brushes past you and stops. You hold your breath as he gets close and presses his lips to your temple.

“Bye, Y/N-ie,” he whispers over your skin.

You close your eyes and whisper back, “Bye, Seokie.”

Then he exits, hurried steps following down your house hallway. You hear him quickly put on his shoes at the hall and a small beat of silence just before he opens the door. Then the lock clicks open, a gust of wind whistles through it and you know he’s out, the automatic alarm of the door locking it closed, leaving you all alone again.

You fall to the floor, legs too weak to hold the heavy weight on your heart, and look up to the pegboard over your dresser, filled with trinkets and many pictures — pictures of you and Eunseok together.

There’s one of you as five-year-olds at the playground you met and one of you behind Eunseok’s solar system mock up he did for a science fair when you were eight. There’s one of you at twelve playing a shooting game at an arcade and another of you when you skipped class to spend a day at the beach at fourteen. There’s another one of you working together at a part-time job in a cafe when you were sixteen and even a selfie from one of your many movie nights at seventeen. There’s one of you at a burger place when you were eighteen, looking at each other and laughing.

And the last one is just of Eunseok, taken a year back, when things were already too messy in between you. In the image, he’s as handsome as ever, looking down to write something on a notepad, his hair swept back and his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. You remember the distance between his frames and his eyes made you focus on his eyelashes, just like that other time, and that a stirring on your chest made you snap the photo silently and keep it to yourself.

Looking at all of your sacred memories with him, you can’t stop the tears from falling down your face, afraid you just lost the one constant in your life forever.

author's note: Don't hate me, hate Song Eunseok who inspired me to write this. If you want a part of two, comments and asks are welcomed so I'm sure you guys actually like this. Thank you for reading, as always!

138 notes · View notes

therealmilfdennys · 3 days ago

Note

shy!reader and Pope brainrot

him just being appreciative that Lena has a positive female role model. and then finding out that they go above and beyond with things like braiding Lena's hair so it's out of her face at lunch, playing her mom on mothers day (my ma does this for her students on mothers day school things) and walking into pick Lena up one day to see reader arguing with CPS that yes Lena is happy and safe and well fed and that they think Pope is doing a fantastic job at looking after her

I HAVE THOUGHTS

this is so cute i had to take a lap around my house dude

also thats so fucking sweet of your mom? oh my god??

I genuinely like- this is making me freak out dude. he LOVES lena. you could say(and be correct on some level) that he only cares so deeply for her because he sees it as penance for hurting cath, but like. he loves his niece :( thats his baby :(

and it's literally canon that he's kind of insecure about how well/not well he's taking care of her? so to have someone(especially the pretty lady that works at her school who smiles so soft and sweet and calls him mr. cody and can't look him in the eyes and always has suckers poking out of her pocket-) tell him they think he's doing a good job? brother he might cry about it.

and when he realizes how much she cares about lena??? putting cute little braids in her hair, letting her spend lunch and recess in her classroom/office/library/etc., sitting with her and a few other kids at lunch on mother's day(literally stop im gonna cry). he's enthralled. he can't get enough. and lena talks her UP too.

and THEN!! one day he's walking lena in, carrying cookies they stayed up to make for a class party of hers, and shy! reader (who he's only ever heard talk quietly, never seen her anywhere near upset) is arguing, LOUDLY, with a lady from CPS.

"Mr. Cody is doing his absolute best-" He hears, stops dead in his tracks. "Lena is a lovely girl, and he's keeping her safe, and fed. Yes, she has some behavioural problems but she's being Bullied and the poor girls parents have just died. That is in no way a reflection of Mr. Cody's ability to take care of her!"

and he's all wide eyed, can't remember how to breathe all of a sudden, fingers wiggling restlessly at his sides. he has to blink hard to shake himself out of it, clears his throat, has to reboot for a minute to remember how to walk.

one thing is for sure though. his ass is seeking you out after that. (because obviously you want him too right? right.) actively trying to insert himself into school functions that you're a part of(smurf and jobs be damned) asking lena what you like to do, what your favorite food is, and lena just writes it off as "uncle pope's being weird again", but she's totally happy to give over the information.

#guys this is killing me #you guys are awesome this is fun #im sorry i keep mentioning him basically stalking her #it's just hot to me what can i say #andrew pope cody #animal kingdom #shawn hatosy #pope cody #andrew cody #animal kingdom tnt #andrew cody x reader #andrew pope cody x reader #pope cody x reader #shy!reader my goat

140 notes · View notes

grotesquevi · 9 hours ago

Text

‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤ ‎‎‎‎‎ ㅤㅤ ‎‎‎‎‎ㅤㅤTHE WAVES SUCK YOU IN, THEN YOU DROWN.

18+ mdni, men dni, this is based on a previous request from my r.i.p blog @vicorices, use of strap-on, dirty talk, fingering, soft!dom vi, praising, tight + bottom afab reader, vi is folded tbh — i tried this to be kind and nice, so it is mostly? but i'm also a dirty slut at the same time so it gets tiny bit rougher by the end my bad, collage au, formal fuckgirl!vi now on a leash. comments, reblogs and likes are loved literally tell me your thoughts talk to me,,

side notes — if you recognize this it may be because my previous account got deleted out of nowhere, i'm trying to get all my work back up again cause of tumblr's dumb ass, check out my masterlists to help me out fic hunting! wc: 1.6k

“shh— it’s okay,” the pleasant sound of her voice sends shivers down your spine as she presses soft kisses in your naked shoulder, breathing in the scent of your skin. the hoop of her nose piercing dragging across the moles she had learned by memory, the marks you utterly hate yet she finds so fucking attractive. “it's okay sweetheart, i got you.”

patience.

it's a struggle since she's so bad at it. trying her best cause she really really likes you, so indulging to your needs every time. it’s a big issue to restrain herself from taking you just the way she wants to, preparing your pretty pink hole to have her so deep inside, you won’t even notice where you begin and she ends, where limits finally erase and you’re melting in her embrace.

her fingers curl inside, and the sound you make tickles a part of her brain, that sultry whine, the dryness of your voice as she pushes and pushes until she's knuckles deep and she's so fucking close to you she can smell the lavender in your shampoo, the taste of your sweat in her tongue — "are you okay? talk to me baby."

she's so kind even when she's from mere seconds to lose it. gentle as she keeps you pressed against her bare torso "yes-yes, i'm good" you let your girlfriend know, burying your head against the pillows — "keep stretching me out vi, please."

she's such a sucker for it. when you start talking so bluntly about your needs and she stays silent for a bit, letting the weight of your words sink in her skull for a second. you clench around her digits and she’s so happy to give you just what you asked for, let her ring and middle finger rub against that spot she's well aware you're fond of by now, the same that makes you arch your back pressing your ass against the strap.

"that's it suck me in," it's such a sight vi could cum by just looking, giving yourself to her like a damn gift. "stretching out so good for my cock baby, fuck- you're doing so well for me."

she knows what she's doing. towering over you, talking against your ear as she finger fucks you into plain madness. arousal gathers on the palm of her hand and you roll your hips against vi's fingers, mumbling about how good she feels already, how you're sure you can take her, all pink cheeks and heavy breathing making her mind go blank.

violet’s fingers withdraw and you gasp at the hollow in your insides, spreading yourself wider to her view, to call her in, make her fuck you again until you're not sure about your own name: stop being unfair. yet, despite all annoyance, you cannot find time to complain when she’s grabbing your leg up in her arm, angling you to her liking.

obscene.

"you're always so sensitive, fucking hell-" vi curses under her breath, hips rocking against you now as she holds the base of the purple cock to rub it against your folds, teasing your entrance in a steady pace, wet, sloppy kisses being etched in the skin of your back almost in a soothing way. "let me fuck you," she asks you soon after, muscles flexing as she keeps you still, pushing the strap against your cunt — "gonna be gentle baby i promise, 'gonna be whatever you need me to be."

"vi-" you breathe out, and she's holding you at this point cause shit, you're a fucking mess, barely saying more than two-word sentences.

"let me fuck you, please" the pink haired begs once again. "you put on this nice set for me, took my fingers s'good. let me make you cum in my cock."

now, she's not usually right, but this time? vi hits the spot cause you did buy a shameful new set of underwear, you did wear it even when you're a complaining bitch always whining about being so tight, about your constant struggle to take her, how she has to use you like a damn toy if you wanted to be fucked until you got a noise complain, stretched out slowly.

when you nod however, it's like she's granted permission to rule the world.

"i got you pretty girl," vi says, leaving a soft kiss over your temple as her fingers take the already lubricated strap to your slippery entrance, forcing just the tip in — the intrusion however, makes your body tense as her lips leave a path of soothing kisses in your shoulders, breathing right next to you, holding you as close as possible — "get used to me baby, m'not moving."

and yes she's such a sucker for it. for the way your legs shake in her arm cause you lose control of them so quickly, pushing her hips slightly forwards again, the loud sound you make as she sinks in just enough. delicious. you make room for her, the skin of your back pressing just right against her chest, the friction of your spasms hitting in vi’s pierced nipples.

it’s so fucking good. she never gets over it, never find it boring — you’re making such an effort in taking her deeper she has to praise you cause you’re halfway through it now and vi loves to see that smile on your face, the fact you’re having a great time with her, your greedy hole sucking her cock in, relaxed now, insanely pliable.

“tell me when it feels good,” she says, looking down at you through half lidded eyes, an explanation of why her words are slurring together in the air as she talks you through it. “can you do that? so i can fuck you properly.”

patience.

violet didn’t even think about cockwarming until she has to stay there every time, filling your tight little cunt over and over again. she thrives now on the idea of keeping you full, how you must be clenching round the strap as you struggle to get used to the size of it.

“want me to stop?” she's so filthy by that point, looking down to notice how the strap is now covered by your arousal, lubricating down to the fabric of the harness on her hips. in all reality, she's asking so she can get an answer from you, hear how fucked she has you by now by the tone of your voice.

"no," you reply. "no, i can take it vi, please- need you inside."

god she’s so fucking patient in these times she should get a prize, sinking in painfully slow until there’s no room for more and she’s fully inside, balls hitting on your clit, teeth bitting to leave a mark in your shoulder you’re totally unaware of: patience.

"you look so pretty full of me," she whispers, and it's so intimate, the lack of space between you both, the sweat that makes your skin glow under the warm lights of your dorm — she angles your face up to kiss you, swallowing your whimpers as she moves beneath you, a gentle pace at first to see how'd you react. "that's my girl. breathe."

it only takes you a couple of minutes, overly enjoying her gentle touch, her way of taking care of you; soft bites in your neck, kisses over your shoulders, how her arms surround you as they hugged you, cause after that vi's moving faster, sloppier cause she's sure she's damaged at that point, malfunctioning at her worst.

she picks up her pace relentless, and your moans mixes well with her own, that need that pours on her stomach making vi's vision cloudy as her hips pistons until you can hear that clap filling each space of the room. her fingers rub against your clit in tight circles, matching her intense movements cause fuck — it's almost lame to admit she's so sensitive already it only takes friction to make her cum and squeeze around nothing but the view she has of you melting in her.

you shake as you cum, arousal gushing out even when she's still plunged deep in you, coating your tights as she keeps you spread, fucking you through it only to get you to that point of damn of insanity.

"feel better?" she asks after, and it's an understatement that makes you blush, almost laughing as you began to remember how to fucking breathe at that point — "looks like you enjoyed yourself, huh?"

"shut up," it's useless even try to defend you, cause you're leaning into her seeking for her warmth, even when she probably smells funny and is sticky. "i did in fact. thank you vi."

you're so fucking cute it's like a dagger to the chest to take, and it's weird cause vi craves this attention, how your heart beats right against her, to be close to you at the end of the day, not questioning anything as your body just fits against hers. silent and shared trust.

even when she might suck a little by saying it she's damn good at showing you at least, madly good when her hand slips against your neck and she's suddenly gripping it tightly, hips moving only to sink in deeper inside your cunt — "you're so open already, can you feel that? think m'gonna have to fuck you again."

and you giggle looking up to her like a fucking deadly sin, asking for more like a greedy, greedy slut, so deep down vi knows it, but it's really late to avoid it when she realizes she carries you like a tattoo right under the ink already on her cheek, squeezing your neck, pushing you against the mattress this time cause you can take it now.

all the pleasure always comes in cherry waves, you dig it now more than ever.

86 notes · View notes

huntingcupid · 1 day ago

Text

MULTO — J.Y

hindi na na-nanaginip hindi na ma-makagising pasindi na ng ilaw minumulto na 'ko ng damdamin ko ng damdamin ko 'di mo ba ako lilisanin? hindi pa ba sapat pagpapahirap sa 'kin?

⌗ YOONCHAE — fem!reader, angst, hurt no comfort, exes, crying, long distance relationship, lovers to strangers, etc...

⌗ SYPNOSIS — 2 years had passed yet even as you see her succeeding you can't help but feel a twinge of sorrow, missing what you two used to be, what you could've been

⌗ CUPID — hihi multo means ghost by the way its a filipino song by cup of joe, its meaning is dealing with a person ypu loved dissappearing/growing distant, and how their presence haunts you, aka missing them

the café was quiet only the hum of the soft music playing from the TV was audible and the soft clicking of keyboards, you had chose this place to study

you weren't one to go to public places to read nor learn you preferred the comfort of your dorm yet for once maybe you wanted a challenge, it smelled heavenly in here as well and unlike other cafés whom have bitter or oversweet tasting matcha they had a pretty good one a perfect balance if you do say so yourself

after typing in the last few words of your essay, you stretched and unexpectedly looked at the tv, It was playing random kpop and western music, but somehow katseye was playing the song “touch” — you stared at it for a bit, and seeing yoonchae was something you didn’t want to do

yoonchae and you were highschool sweethearts, the two quiet nerdy girls in the back of the class giggling over stupid jokes and making silly doodles on each others notebooks — it all changed when yoonchae told you about her auditioning to a company named hybe

“wait, does that mean you're gonna leave me?” you murmur, you two sat in front of a convenience store sipping on hot instant ramen — “i- uhm i don't know y/n — but I'm not accepted yet! we can still stay together” yoonchae says trying to brighten up the mood her hands covering yours as she rubs her thumb across your palm

you nod, yet deep down you knew she already got accepted, yoonchae dreamed about being an idol, she would yap to you for hours on end, showing fancams of her favorite groups — smiling stupidly when seeing girls her age debuting

“yoon, you know I'll support you right? — it's okay if you leave it's for your dreams anyway” you mutter back looking into the youngers eyes seeing a hint of hesitation, you knew how much she loved you, how much she cared about you — you cared the same way, so if that meant letting her go you would do it with no problem, “but, i-” the Korean tried reasoning before you shake your head just smiling softly at her

“yoon, it's alright — if you need me I'm only one call away” you replied, at that moment yoonchaes shoulders weren't tense anymore and she looked rather calmer — “i love you” she says shyly blushing lightly, “i love you more dummy” you giggle

that month yoonchae started packing and buying random things to bring, sending random letters to her other friends and distant family — she started missing school and deleting her posts on social media which you knew was needed but some of the post was your memories with her,

"사랑 (love) i have to go tomorrow, can you help me get to the airport?” yoonchae asks over the phone — you smile to yourself but a twinge of sadness started spreading in you, “yes of course darling” you replied, yoonchae then talks about the place she was going to and how different it looked until you two fell asleep while on call

the morning of the youngers flight you wait outside her house, seeing her walk out with her life in two huge bags was something that definitely hurt and made you proud — she's growing up so quickly, you felt tears fall to your cheeks and immediately yoonchae comes running to you, “are you crying?, baby don't cry!” yoonchae murmurs hugging you tightly

her head on your shoulders as you let her vanilla perfume invade your senses — “mhm, I'm just happy seeing you be brave and grow so fast” you mutter back, her mom hugs you two and smile softly — the drive was short yet with yoonchaes hand over yours it felt like forever, you'd often steal glances at her seeing how happy she looked and excited she was made you the happiest woman ever

the car parked near the entrance and you helped the younger bring her bags in, it felt like time was moving so quickly

yoonchae started crying as she hugs her family and finally you, she murmurs a bunch of things talking about how nervous and worried she is yet you reassured her – it felt unreal that she was leaving alone, and you didn't want to cry, you didn't want to make her feel worse, so you smile through it and just waved her off

that very night you sobbed into your pillows already missing the girl, missing her hug, her jokes and her voice — you went through you favorite albums in your gallery, pictures of you two or just her — drawing, dancing, singing or going to the park

the first week you two learned how to get over the time difference and with her busy schedule, the second week you stopped calling reasoning that she needed to focus on her training, the third you two mutually agreed to stop talking — it hurt yet you knew it was for the best,

"its for the best right?" yoonchae asks almost hesistant her voice small and fragile, "it is yoonie, i love you okay?" you mutter back tears flowing to your face, yoonchae murmurs an i love you back before the call ended, the very last call you two had

you'd silently support her, voting for her every mission even making a fan account, when she debuted it felt like you also got your dream come true, after her debut you stopped watching her content and started focusing on yourself, studying and studying

you'd often stumble across old pictures and your texts with yoonchae and reminisce about what you two were, your classmates would ask if you two were still talking, you'll dodge the question and try to keep her name out of your mind yet when the nights too lonely, you'd relapse and think about her again

you blink and turn back to your laptop, biting your lip as you fight back your emotions, checking your essay one final time before packing up and leaving the café, yoonchae was and will always be the right person, yet you two met in the wrong time, fell in love at the wrong time — all you hope was for her to be happy, happy that her and your dreams were now accomplished, she'll always be in your mind, in your heart like a ghost haunting your everyday life, yet this ghost you didn't want to leave

wc: 1.1k words

hey erm i love yoonchae so this is literally the most angsty thing i can write for her oml

#katseye #wlw #fem!reader #katseye x reader #kpop #gg fics #yoonchae #jeung yoonchae #yoonchae katseye #katseye yoonchae

90 notes · View notes

drdaddy19 · 1 day ago

Text

Happy Baby TV Time

og picture credit to @theghxstmouse

There she was. there she sat. she was just dropped into her playroom. her lovely playroom. the one that seemed to be pink and purple all over. the one that played lovely droning tones in her ear.

her playroom. where she could play with her stuffed animals, dollies and toys all day long. where she could be a baby. where she could be a dolly herself and where she could watch her happy baby time TV shows too! she was so excited!

she just loved her baby time TV shows. they were so much fun. they were always jam packed with the most perfect happy baby playtime activities. her cute cartoon friends were always so nice to her, like her padded pampered ponies, who would ask her a question and give her lots of time to think about it... after all, thinking is hard when you're just a diaper dummy.

she flicked the power switch and sat as watched the picture came onto the tv screen...

the static in the tv picture instantly snapped in a bright pink flash...

"Hi there little one !" her cartoon pony friends said in unison.

she waived her hand back and forth quickly to say "HI" to her pink pony friends.

"looks like someone's back for playtime already! you just couldn't wait for more happy baby playtime could you?"

she shook her head with a grin as her pacifier found its way into her mouth. she couldn't wait she didnt need to speak now. she only needed to listen and nod. she didn't even have to control her potty... not that she ever did anyways. but it was always nice to be reminded.

"And always remember," one of her pink and swirly cartoon pony friends told her, "you're never ever supposed to hold it when you have to go potty. That's what your diapers are for! just go peepee in your padded pampers."

the other ponies nodded in agreement, cheering on the faithful watchers who were padded.

she began to nod as well. her giggling gave way to drool slipping from her pacifier. she knew that in her deepest of truths... she was a baby. a padded pamper princess. a diaper dummy. just daddy's padded baby dolly. she could never ever expect to keep herself dry for more than a few minutes. thats what diapers were for. she was so smart. and she always learned so much from her cartoon friends. she couldn't wait to learn more about how to act and what to do.

as her eyes widened to take in more of pretty colors.

"we're going to have lots and lots of fun today ! are you ready? well come on, lets go !"

She knew she was going to have fun. she always did. she loved her playroom. she loved her diapers.and she loved her happy baby TV time

#ab/dl blog #ab/dl lifestyle #ab/dl little #diaper regression #brainwashing #cg/l #hypnok1nk #hypnosis #bd/sm little #ab/dl community #ab/dl babygirl #ab/dl diaper

119 notes · View notes

cosmica-galaxy · 12 hours ago

Note

I've been thinking about the pre-corrupted beast au, and how do you think the interaction between shadow milk and baby witch would go if they were to meet up again. However, the baby still recognizes shadow milk as their original caretaker and, of course, recognizes his soul jam.

Bonus: Baby is confused because of the two soul jams that are similar, though only one is far more familiar. Baby Witch wants shadow milk, but they also want pure vanilla, but they want shadow milk more, but they also like pure vanilla, but shadow milk is original papa and fun.

Oh, he definitely scoops them up the moment he sees them reenter his spire of deceit. He would say "Heellooooo my little one~! Did ya miss me? Of coouuurse you did! What would you dooo without little ole meeee, papa shadow milk!" and the child recognizes his voice instantly and just cuddles right into him like he never left. Despite the Gingerbrave group's and pure Vanilla's worry about him holding the child, the child is perfectly fine and leans into Shadow Milk cookie like they know him personally...in which, they do. He would also probably make a comment about "where their cute little jester outfit went" when he sees them in the Pure Vanilla style attire. "No matter! It's an easy fix! With a waaaave of my waand~"--And the child would be covered in darkness for a moment before reappearing in their original jester-like outfit that they emerged from their sealing item with--"Tadaaah! The outfit has returned! A total glow-up if I do say so myself...just look at your little bells and hat, my adorable child of deceit~!" he says as he tickles them and makes them let out happy giggles. Then, he changes his focus back to his original targets and the spire quest line would proceed as normal with the child accompany him with his "games", though not taking in the danger that everyone is in because of their innocent nature. He also plays with them while he toys with his victims, by gently tossing them in the air, hugging them close, and entertaining them while he multitasks. It's natural for him at this point to do such things. Pure Vanilla and Shadow Milk will also have some heated discussions about the little one and how they should be raised. In one part, Shadow Milk gets very heated about it and reveals his very possessive nature to the cookies while his little one is being watched by Black Sapphire Cookie. "You listen to me, you imposter. I was their original caretaker and I placed them in that item for safe keeping when I got OUT of that damned silver tree. They were waiting for ME and not for YOU. It was an accident that they wound up in your care." "You haven't watched them, cared for them, and raised them for as long as I have. That worthless witch that served as their mother...was nothing short of a deadbeat! I spent WEEKS with their child at a time...in fact, I might as well have raised them on my own! The other beasts had their moments, but NONE were as close to them as I! Not even their own wretched mother...who I dealt with permanently." "You...you killed their true mother...?" "Reduced her to PIECES. She tried to take back what she didn't deserve. She barely put in the effort that I did! I was that child's WHOLE WORLD. Why should I give up what rightfully belongs to me?" Shadow Milk is a little more unhinged in his AU because of his possessive nature over the child that pretty much was his only source of company for weeks at a time. He developed an unhealthy attachment to them and ripped their true mother apart because he believes that he deserves to be their true guardian.

Pure Vanilla has to work around his possessive nature to get his soul jam, his friends, AND the baby out of such wicked clutches. So Pure Vanilla suffers a little more in this AU.

#haxorus imp #hax speaks #cosmica galaxy #cosmica-galaxy #anonymous #anon asks #anon ask #crk tag #crk x you #crk x y/n #crk x reader #cookies and humans #cookie run x reader #baby witch au

82 notes · View notes

clonetrooperjournals · 3 days ago

Text

Not Enough (PT.2)

Summary : Wolffe takes you out for the first time and at the bar you meet his squad Pairings : Wolffe x Fem!reader Warnings : slightly spicy, slight angst, self conscious reader, fluff, cute wolffe, happy ending, the wolf pack is ridiculous and we love them Words : 1.9k Read PT.1 here masterlist here

“You almost ready to go baby? I think the pack should be heading th-”

Wolffe freezes staring at you as you turn to him nervously, “Does this look okay?”

He slowly trails his gaze over you, your big curls and glossy lips, the silk red dress that stops above your knee, the strappy silver heels, he’s never seen anything more beautiful in his whole life. You fiddle with the hem of your jacket looking at him nervously waiting for his answer.

Wolffe walks over slowly, his eye dark, “Oh my sweet baby girl, you are perfect...” he trails his hands up your sides slowly then lifts your chin to look at him, “I am the luckiest asshole alive.”

You roll your eyes, cheeks darkening, “I-I’m not-”

“Uh Uh. You are perfect. My perfect baby girl.”

Your cheeks get an even darker red as Wolffe leans in and kisses you. Slow and passionate, smearing your lip gloss all over his lips but he doesn’t care. He trails his kisses down your neck stopping just above your heart.

He looks up at you with a grin, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I hope you're ready because if we don’t leave now, I’m going to rip this dress off of you and keep you here all night,” he chuckles darkly.

You giggle, “I-I’m ready... I think.”

He grabs your hand and together you both leave your apartment, once outside you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding and together you head to 79’s.

...

The bar was loud and dark and kind of sticky but seeing all the clones laughing and joking around having fun makes it amazing. Wolffe leads you over to a table, noticing all the stares in your direction, he pulls you closer to him glaring at everyone.

Once seated he looks over at you with a small smile, “What do you think?”

“It’s so fun here! I can see why all the boys love it here so much... Although it wouldn’t kill them to wipe it down a bit...” you giggle.

Wolffe chuckles, “I don’t think they care about it being a bit sticky here. You sit pretty and I’ll go get us some drinks.”

Wolffe winks and leaves you in the booth. You sit and observe all the clones dancing and laughing, flirting with other women there, just enjoying themselves. The longer you sit the more you notice the stares of the clones in your direction, and your cheeks start to burn. You think maybe you’ll just go and join Wolffe at the bar when white and grey armor blocks your view and sits down at your table, the symbol of the wolf pack on their shoulders.

“Hey sweet thing. What are you doing over here all by yourself?”

“Sweet thing? Sinker stop your flirting is terrible!”

“Says you Boost! She’s not complaining!”

You giggle, “Are you the rest of the wolf pack?”

The three clones stop there bickering and turn to you with big grins, Boost leans in, “So you’ve heard of us?”

The third clone leans back with a smile, “Of course she has. You're the sunshine of the med bay, right? Kix’s right-hand girl?”

Sinker shoots up, “No wonder you look so familiar! Every soldier fights to get you when we have to go to med! Kix isn’t as pretty or nice as you are!”

“Kix just likes to pick on all of you,” you say giggling at them.

“You uh... met our commander?” the third clone asks with a smirk.

“What are you getting at Comet?”

“Yeah, why would she talk to the Commander? He doesn’t even talk to us and he’s our Commander!”

Comet looks you up and down with a grin, “because the Commander has been ‘going for caf’ in the med bay break room for the last three months.”

You freeze, “What?”

Suddenly two drinks hit the table in front of you and Wolffe looks over his squad grumpily, “took you three long enough,” he then looks over at you and gently strokes your cheek, “The boys giving you trouble baby girl?”

“WHAT!?”

“BABY GIRL!?”

“Commander! She’s your girl!?”

“Maker! Why didn’t you say anything!”

“I thought I had a shot!”

Wolffe rolls his eyes and sits beside you slinging his arm around your waist, “This would be why I didn’t tell you lot...”

You laugh at the four of them, taking a sip of your drink when you remember what Comet said before Wolffe arrived and you turn, “Is it true that you go to the med bay break room for caf?”

Wolffe freezes and his cheeks start to go red, “I have no idea what you’re talking about...”

Comet leans forward with a smirk eyeing his Commander, “so the caf doesn’t ‘taste better’ over there after all?”

“I suggest you stop talking vod,” he warns taking a sip of his drink.

All of them laugh at Wolffe and you shake your head at them chuckling, “you guys are a lot of fun. I thought you would all be a little grumpy like Wolffe here.”

They all laugh loudly, “Nah! Commander is grumpy for all of us. Were the fun ones!”

Wolffe sighs, “if fun actually means pain in the shebs...”

You laugh putting your hand over Wolffe's heart, “thanks for bringing me out love.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t do it sooner,” he sighs looking at you gently.

Boost tilts his head, “So how long you guys been together anyway?”

You look up at Wolffe and his ears turn red as he sips his drink, “a year.”

“A YEAR!?”

“Commander! You hid it from us all this time!”

“Don’t you know how to share!”

“You’re embarrassed of us aren’t you!?”

Wolffe rolls his eyes, “You’re all ridiculous.”

Boost grabs your hand, “Looks like we gotta make up for lost time sunshine! Let's dance!”

Before you can refuse Boost pulls you up and drags you onto the dance floor laughing at the glare Wolffe sends him. You just giggle and dance with Boost, the biggest smile on your face.

Wolffe watches you both with a rare big smile on his face, and Comet looks at his commander, “A year huh?”

He turns to him, “you know the job. It's... hard to be with someone, and I know I’m not the most... charismatic. I’m still learning but... I love her. And she needs all of you just as much as she does me. Were a pack after all. Sorry it took so long to introduce you...”

Sinker pats him on the shoulder, “I like softie Commander.”

“Don’t get used to it.” he says rolling his eyes.

The rest of the night is spent taking turns dancing with the wolf pack, cracking jokes, telling stories, and endless drinks. Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much and the drinks in your system making you feel lighter than air, you're not drunk but definitely tipsy, you’ve never been happier.

“Think it’s time to go home baby girl,” Wolffe says to you as you lean into him.

You whine, “Not yet. I’m having fun with the pack!”

The boys chuckle at you, “Don’t worry sunshine! We’ll do this again. Promise!”

“I’ll hold you to that.” you say smiling at the clones.

Wolffe stands and nods to his squad, “Night boys. No funny business. If Fox comms me, I’ll leave your shebs in the holding cell all night.”

Boost sighs, “it was one time!”

“One time too many. Let's go baby.” Wolffe leads you out the bar as you wave to the boys.

Once back in your apartment, Wolffe wastes no time ripping your dress of you and carrying you to your bedroom kissing you breathless as he goes. He puts you down on the bed gently looking you over, the left-over lip gloss still on your lips, the light shine of sweat from all your dancing, the lacy red lingerie you had hidden under the dress, he’s never seen anything more stunning in his whole life.

“What are you staring at?” you ask slightly self-conscious.

He smiles at you, “the most beautiful thing in the galaxy.”

Your heart swells as you look up at your Wolffe, gently holding his cheek you lean up and kiss him passionately, “I love you.”

He puts his head against yours kissing your face all over, “I love you too baby girl.”

...

You had such a headache.

You didn’t realize how much the boys could drink and now you're here working with a hangover. You still did your hair and makeup to cover up how tired you actually are, not to mention how sore you are, thanks to Wolffe. You blush to yourself at the memories of the night before, when Kix walks over to you.

“Hey sunshine. I’m heading out for a bit, Rex called a meeting. You good on our own?”

You smile, “Yeah I’m good.” He smiles back patting your shoulder as he heads out, leaving you to all the paperwork you’ve been slowly making your way through.

After a while of doing paperwork, you figure the largest cup of caf you can find will ease the headache you’ve been dealing with all morning. You leave your desk and make your way to the breakroom only to stop at the sight. Comet, Boost and Sinker are all sitting in the small folding chairs, each drinking a cup of caf with a smirk.

“Morning Sunshine!”

“How are you today?”

“You look pretty!”

You giggle at them, “What are you guys doing here?”

Comet chuckles, “proving a point.”

You raise a brow, “Oh?”

As if summoned, Wolffe enters the break room looking at the four of you exasperated, “What are you three doing here!?”

Sinker laughs, “us? Were just here for a cup of caf.”

“Your right Commander this caf is better than ours,” Boost says smiling.

“The view ain’t bad either,” Comet comments winking at you.

You blush looking over at Wolffe who is glaring at his squad, “pain in my shebs, every single one of you!”

You turn to Wolffe and kiss his cheek, “want one too love?”

He looks back at you and sighs with a grin, “sure baby girl.”

Sinker turns to you downing the rest of his caf, “Kix flirt with you every day?”

You jump looking at him confused, “He’s not flirting. He’s just being friendly that’s how he is.”

“No, he was definitely flirting.” says Boost.

You hand Wolffe his mug of caf, eyeing him suspiciously, “is that why you kept coming here for caf?”

He shrugs taking a sip of his caf and you roll your eyes, “you’re all ridiculous!”

“Welcome to the wolf pack sunshine, ya better get used to it.”

You giggle, a warm feeling in our chest. Standing here in this small breakroom surrounded by this squad of clones that became your family, you’ve never been so happy, even with the pounding headache of a hangover.

Kix enters the room, “Hey Sunshine did you manage to finish the paperwor- Woah!”

All four clones stand behind you glaring at the medic like the pack of wolves they are. Wolffe slings his arm around your waist and turns your chin toward him, kissing you roughly in front of everyone.

“Thanks for the caf baby girl. See you later. Boys, let's go!”

The wolf pack leaves the breakroom glaring at Kix as they go and you just stand there blushing and giggling, knowing you have a pack of wolves to protect you.

dividers by @saradika-graphics

#tcw x reader #wolffe x reader #commander wolffe x reader #tbb x reader #commander wolffe #tcw #tcw wolffe #clone x reader #the bad batch #clone wars #clone wars x reader #the bad batch x reader #star wars x reader #star wars fanfiction #sw tbb #the clone wars x reader #clone wars fanfiction #clone trooper wolffe

30 notes · View notes

normalwomanontheinternet · 18 hours ago

Text

i met an alien girl on her space travels! she beamed me up onto her spaceship and told me that she had an important mission she needed to spit in my mouth for. so of course i said yes 👽💦👅

it turns out Martian women's bodily fluids do all sorts of things to the human body and she needs a test subject and lab assistant. she's so smart so she's already figured out it makes my body go all relaxed and happy. she says it "substantially enhances traits of docility and obedience" which is weird because i remember always wanting to serve and obey her, i'm pretty sure this is what i've always been for? she says she might have to do extra tests on me just to see how obedient i can be. yay! i love being as obedient as i can be!

she said something about effects on IQ too. i think it's working because everything she tells me makes sense and her experiments feel really good so i must be really good at science! yay! i love being good for science!

i asked her if i could stay on her spaceship for longer and help her with science wherever she goes and she said yes 🥰 sometimes she gives me really important tasks like staying still with my legs spread so she can inspect me! yay! i love staying still for my inspections!

we've been doing a long term study on fertility. she's been giving me extra big portions, injections and all sorts of fun looking alien pills and they've been making me softer and rounder and squishier and healthier and heavier. my tummy rests so securely on the table when i'm on all fours for her tests. it feels divine! i'm getting so big i don't know if i could walk in earth gravity again but she's says it's important for me to be her ideal breeding stock. yay! i love being her ideal breeding stock!

we've just done the science experiment where she holds me down and fills me with her cum. it's one of my favourite experiments to do it makes my head feel all tingly and my tummy all warm inside! but she says this time is different because the medicine has been working and now i'm pregnant! the study isn't over for another 9 months but she says i'm going to do great keeping her babies safe inside me. yay! i love her babies safe inside of me!

she says once the study is over i can go home if i want, it's only a short trip back to earth. she's so funny! why would i ever want to go back? she still has so much important science to use me for like... what if we had twins next time?

24 notes · View notes

jpnriikicore · 1 day ago

Text

── serious pato? ( smau )

paring pato o’ward x zakbrowndaughter!reader ( masterlist )

y/nbrown posted !

📍 méxico city, méxico

🎵dom dolla ft. daya . dreamin

liked by zakbrownceo, lissiemackintosh, alexandrasaintmleux, lundgaardofficial, taylorbarnard1 and 644k others

y/nbrown shot my shots and missed the grid 🧡

view comments

alexandrasaintmleux lovee the dress it suits you so well ❤️ by author

↳ y/nbrown pls let me raid you’re closet 🙏🏻

lissiemackintosh loved being in the pits with you, the dress was immaculate ❤️ by author

↳ y/nbrown always a pleasure. i think this meeting up thing should be a regular thing

↳ lissiemackintosh definitely!!

user my favorite nepo baby 💋 ❤️ by author

user an very icon and trendsetter nepo baby

user my favorite f1 photographer that actually respects the drivers privacy

user she only got this internship due to her dad

user orange is definitely her color 🤭🤭

↳ zakbrownceo papaya ❤️ by author

user she’s been looking hella close w the papaya boys

↳ user well her dad is zak brown 🤷🏻‍♀️

user money on lando 🤑🤑

↳ user when they’re both hot and allegedly (definitely) together

↳ user is this considered a soft launch ?

↳ user they’d make a power couple 😩

↳ user i love when hot people date hot people

user i think it could possibly be oscar 🙋🏻‍♀️

↳ user what the hell

↳ user they do seem relatively close

↳ user they’re same personality would mesh well together

↳ user and they both live in the uk too

user what if she’s dating pato ☺️

↳ user that’s shit is funny

↳ user that’s wayyy to left field

user i loveee her dress 😩😩

user her dad looking at these comments probably thinking wth ❤️ by author

y/nbrown posted !

📍surrey, united kingdom

🎵 drake . 9

liked by zakbrownceo, lilyzneimer, oscarpiastri, mclaren, charlottesiine, lando, and 509k others

y/nbrown same time next year?

view comments

y/nbrown didn’t want to ruin the caption. so, thanks daddy for another incredible year and for so many unneeded, but wanted birthday cakes. i suppose my diet could be on hold for the next few days..

↳ zakbrownceo happy 19th birthday princess 🥹 ❤️ by author

↳ user still call ur dad daddy ??

↳ user that’s lowkey weird

↳ user such a daddy’s girl

↳ user how does it feel to live my dream 😭😭

↳ user girlie give some of you’re non daddy issues to us

↳ user not us being surprised she has a stable loving family 💀

lilyzneimer happy birthday 🫶🏻 ❤️ by author

↳ y/nbrown thank you bby 🧡🧡

mclaren 🧡🧡

↳ y/nbrown thank you admin

lando happy b-day 🥳🥳

↳ y/nbrown can’t believe the nickname you gave me stuck 💀

charlottesiine happy birthday to my baby coco i miss you ❤️ ❤️ by author

user the picture her dad posted of her karting when she was younger was so cute 🥺🥺

↳ user love how her dad only posts her and not his two other kids 💀

↳ user ngl she’s probably gonna become the mclaren ceo position next ❤️ by author

↳ user at least another team in f1

user our coco is growing up 😢😢

user our brownie 🫶🏻

y/nbrown posted !

📍punta mita, méxico

🎵 baby bash . frankie j . suga suga

liked by elbaoward, iamrebeccad, lilyhe, charlottesiine, nolansiegel and 579k others

y/nbrown heard you’re hungry, so i’m back on you’re feed 🍦

view comments

iamrebeccad soo pretty 🌸 ❤️ by author

elbaoward how did you manage to keep him still long enough to take that photo ??

↳ y/nbrown i get it brothers…man 🤺🤺🍳🫨

↳ y/nbrown special gf services i guess

↳ user did she just use emojis to virtually hit her brother with a frying pan

↳ user oh ???

↳ user oops 🫡

↳ user did she just out herself that she’s with pato ??

↳ user they could just be friends 🤷🏻‍♀️

↳ user called it !!!

↳ user yeah…yeah pipe down

user the vibes on this dump is immaculate

user literally been staring at this man’s shadow for thirty minutes and can’t make out the guy

↳ user ngl it looks like lando

↳ user wasn’t he’s seen with some model the other day

↳ user double dipper i guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

↳ user double dipper is wilddd

↳ user 🫡

↳ user chat i’m signing out after that

user for free ?!?!?

↳ y/nbrown nah, pay up 🤲🏻

user her dad is probs gonna freak when he sees the last photo

y/nbrown posted !

📍punta mita, méxico

🎵fabolous ft. tamia . so into you

liked by zakbrownceo, lando, elbaoward, patricooward, maxfewtrell, and 695k others

y/nbrown camera crumbs

view comments

zakbrownceo y/n whose the guy

↳ y/nbrown you like him, promise

↳ zakbrownceo i won’t like him after this

↳ zakbrownceo can’t believe i had to figure it out through the media

↳ y/nbrown sorry…☹️☹️

↳ lando ooo someone’s in trouble

↳ y/nbrown shut uppp

↳ maxfewtrell i can’t wait until zak finds out

elbaoward when did he get good at taking photos

↳ patricooward she taught me

↳ zakbrownceo 🤨

↳ user is no one seeing this

↳ user 🍿

user not her, lando, and max acting like siblings in these comments

user i can’t believe she’s so chill posting that one picture of them cuddled up

↳ user she thought she was slick about it

user no curls…huh

user where do you vacation ?

↳ y/nbrown monterrey or cancun

↳ user 🤨🤨

user i desperately need a jpg account 🫠🫠

↳ y/nbrown i got something in the recent developments that you might like then

↳ lando i’m telling you everyone needs a jpg account

y/nbrown posted !

📍cancún, méxico

🎵 mario . let me love you

liked by patricooward, elbaoward, zakbrownceo, oscarpiastri, lando and 505k others

y/nbrown yes, bf still takes me to tourist spots

view limited comments

zakbrownceo seriously pato?

↳ y/nbrown at least i kept it in the mclaren family

↳ oscarpiastri i heard a scream from the office should i be concerned…

lando keep it pg

↳ oscarpiastri she doesn’t even watch r rated movies

↳ y/nbrown way ahead of you i’m fighting him off everyday 🤺🤺

↳ patricooward at least pg-13

elbaoward is that forth picture when you ate totopos con salsa in the sombrero

↳ y/nbrown i thought it was a good idea 🤷🏻‍♀️

↳ user ur wayy to americannn

user not the grumpy x sunshine trope 😫😫

↳ user and the introvert x extrovert trope

↳ y/nbrown i’m the grumpy introvert aren’t i?

↳ patricooward afraid so, mami ❤️ by author

↳ y/nbrown call me that again

user are you gonna stay in you’re career at f1?

↳ y/nbrown actually, i’m finishing this year in f1 and then going to indycar. it’s alright set that two years after that i’ll be deputy team principal

#indycar #indycar imagine #indycar x reader #pato o ward imagines #pato o'ward #patricio o'ward #patricio o’ward imagine #patricio o’ward x reader

21 notes · View notes

strangepetscomicbooksbat · 12 hours ago

Text

Chapter Update

Hunger is So Heavy by Mau_Iren on ao3 Chapter 18: Hellish Shopping Trip Chapter under the cut for those who don't use AO3, link above for those who do. Word Count: 2954

After the eventful texts early in the morning, Madison decided to take up their favorite tool in their toolbox. Avoidance. They ate their breakfast, had like.. half a pancake. Which is more pancake than they usually stomach, so they were pretty happy with it. And they took their medication. That they did not ask their Psychiatrist about, and just split the pill in half and prayed. There were plenty of things to do today that didn’t involve thinking about Tom and Alex, and how those two were apparently in the know about stuff that they weren’t. That Alex has been in regular communication with Tom, who was the first to leave, but not with Madison. Not like Madison missed him or anything, they were just his baby sister that he used to spend every day with. They aren’t upset. They aren’t upset at all.

Eurylochus seemed concerned. He really shouldn’t be, they’re gonna be so productive today. There’s plenty of stuff that needs doing. They could get groceries, they could do laundry, they could maybe even change the sheets on their bed. It’s gonna be summer soon, maybe they need to change the bedsheets to a more summer-y color. When they went back upstairs after breakfast, they couldn’t help but glare at the words on their phone. “Since when did you have a roommate?”

The question is giving them pause. Since.. a while ago, really. Maybe he would know that if he visited more often. The question is reasonable, considering the fact that this is an owned house with no mortgage, and Madison doesn’t actually have that many friends that they would be likely to live with. But still. Something ugly curled in their chest when they texted back, “I’ve had a roommate for a while now.” After some thinking, they answer his other questions, “I guess I was. I’m trying not to text him as much though, since he clearly doesn’t feel like talking to me.”

That felt mean. They didn’t know if they could delete it though. Probably not. Madison tried to shimmy into one of their favorite pairs of cargo pants. It was just their luck that they noticed a hole. In a very inconvenient place. It kind of made them feel like crying. They just want to wear their stupid pants and put on a shirt that probably needs to be washed, and they can’t put on a sweater because it’s getting too hot. Their eye-watering frustration was once again interrupted by Eurylochus kneeling next to the bed, already dressed in that green flowy dress he likes. He looked imploringly at them and asked, “do you want help?” His eyes are pretty. Have they ever noticed how pretty his eyes are? They need to tell him how pretty they are, they’re nice eyes. Not like, perfectly symmetrical, but the color is really cool. “..yeah, I’d like help please.”

Eurylochus was just.. a godsend. Madison was taking deep breaths, trying desperately not to cry as he helped them out of the torn cargo pants. It was sometimes hard getting changed sitting down. They never really realized how easy it could be if they had help. She isn’t sure why this is bothering her so much today. It’s literally just ripped pants. Their activity of distraction for the day has literally fallen right into her lap. They need new pants, they can go take an uber or something to the mall and buy pants. That’s great. They can take an uber, and when they get there, they could get agua frescas again, like when Eurylochus first got here.

And he knows fruit names now! They could take him to get agua frescas, and he could order this time! That could be really exciting. First time ordering food in modern English. That feels like something they could celebrate, too.

Madison was so consumed in her own thoughts, she barely noticed Eurylochus taking a different set of softer green pants out of their dresser. He knelt down again at the side of the bed, rolling the pant legs up until they could just slip their feet through a simple ring of fabric, which then could glide up their legs. At least, until they got to their hips, where they could either have to awkwardly shimmy or eventually stand.

She opted to stand, putting both her hands on his shoulders for balance. They shouldn’t have abandoned their cane earlier this morning; now their joints ache. Their phone dings. “Who is it? A girl from school? Or that Rebecca girl?” Once again, their irritation wells. Oh yeah, that Rebecca girl, their best friend.. when they were eight. They haven’t really talked to Rebecca since the woman broke up with her over text for not wanting to go out on dates during a literal pandemic, as an immunocompromised person. Breakup mid-virtual date planning. How does an asexual manage to keep dating people who want her for her body? Their luck is astonishing. “Hey, do you want to go to the mall? Since these tore,” they hold up their sad, hole-y cargo pants, “I was thinking we could go replace these? Maybe we could get drinks again too. You could try ordering your own this time and everything.” Eurylochus looks like he wants to push the topic, but he doesn’t. He just nods his head and agrees, “sounds nice. I’ll put on my shoes.” Madison almost feels guilty for their immediate reaction, which is to think, Holy Shit, that was a good sentence. They briefly wonder if he is even gonna need them for much longer. They very pointedly ignore the way that the thought unsettles them.

While Eurylochus walks across the hall to his own room, they type out a response to Tom. “I’m not really friends with Rebecca anymore. The breakup made things awkward. And I got covid after she tricked me into going to a megachurch with her.”

The text back was almost instant. “I’m sorry, did you just say you got COVID? Are you okay??” It kind of made them laugh. “Uh, yeah. I got covid two years ago dude. I’m literally fine, I didn’t even lose my sense of smell. I was just tired all the time for a bit. But the covid test was definitely positive.” They still kind of can’t believe that happened. But hey, that’s what you get for trying to stay friends with your ex, huh? Their smile dropped again when Tom wasn’t completely distracted by their clearly superior storytelling skills. “If not Rebecca, who are you rooming with?” It was cute the first time he asked. But now they were getting annoyed. “A guy I know. He’s really nice and makes good breakfast. Why do you suddenly care?”

Now they know that one was mean. They said that to try and hurt him on purpose. But never once in their life have they proofread or second thought a text, and they won’t be starting now. Especially not when Eurylochus walks back into their bedroom with his shoes on, and they remember that they probably should have put theirs on too. She doesn’t have the mental bandwidth to take off yesterday and last night’s socks that she slept in to put on fresh socks. But also.. What about when they try on pants? No stinky socks in the fitting rooms. So with a groan that stays completely on the inside, they take off their kinda dirty socks in favor of fresh white ones.

Putting on their sneakers made them want to cry. Again. Their sneakers were supposed to be slip-ons, but they ended up just crumpling under their heel most days, and they just couldn’t slip their foot in, so they just end up tying their shoelaces anyway, and it’s so dumb. It’s so dumb.

Getting to the mall didn’t help as much as they wanted it to. Eurylochus had their phone in his hands, because he was watching Spinch over the nanny cam. Which was objectively hilarious, but Madison was on a mission. New pants, shoes that don’t suck. Preferably velcro. They don’t care how childish velco might make them look, they just want to wear shoes that don’t make them spiral.

They feel nauseous, which is kind of putting a dark cloud over the whole trip to the mall. She is willing to bet it’s the medication’s fault. They should have just made that stupid appointment to ask about changing medications, but now they’re just gonna be vaguely nauseous for the rest of the day. Lovely.

The first stop is shoes. They can do shoes. Shoes are easy. The mall is a maze of escalators, and women with double-wide strollers that should really look into a sleeker model. Maybe those kinds that stack the kids on top of each other. Their mom used to just have their dad pull them around in a little wagon, and they remember loving it.

This mall in particular has a lot of shoe stores with big fancy shoes. Heels that make Madison almost green with envy, because they are so pretty, but they can just imagine the ways they would manage to twist their ankles in them. But there is at least one store that is filled with sneakers. It’s the same place that also had comfy sandals for Eurylochus the first time they brought him here. “Mind holding my bag?” they’d ask while sitting on one of the little benches to try on a pair of blue velcro sneakers.

Eurylochus, like the great guy he is, held their bag. And he also made suggestions, “I think.. those are tight.” He was right. But they weren’t sure how he could tell from just looking. But they nodded their head regardless. “Yeah, I think I need just a half-size up.” Their estimate was pretty much right. Going from a size 7 to a size 7½ pretty much made all the difference. “Hey, since these fit, do you think I should get them in just blue, or in other colors?”

Eurylochus holds up the box, inspecting the label. “This is the size, yes?” he asked while pointing at the 7½ in bold. Upon their little hum of confirmation, he inspected the labels of the same shoe but in pink, offering them the box to try these as well. “Test.

It was smart to give them a second test. But they fit as expected, and Madison felt slightly less crappy. Pink was a good choice, they really like pink. It’s a cute color, they really need to buy more of it.

Pants shopping is hell, actually.

Not to be dramatic, but cargo pants come in such a variety of fabrics. Some fabrics? Soft, lovely to touch. But they sag too much when they try to put their phone in their pocket. No use for cargo pants if the pockets, the main focus, are useless. Other fabrics are very structurally stable, but so rough on their skin. They tried to take a singular step with this one pair, and they just felt the fabric rub against their inner thighs with every movement.

They are holding onto their mental stability by a thread. And not a fun, stable, six-stranded embroidery thread. A pathetic singular thread of a spider web that is about to get run through by a toddler with absolutely no fear of insects, type of thread. They bought a singular pair of pants. Not cargo pants, but vaguely acceptable sweatpants. Because they simply would not be trying anything else on, and they wanted an adjustable waist. After the disastrous attempt at buying pants, they just wanted to get their fun little fruity drinks. Madison is ready to buy a fruity little drink and go the fuck home. They aren’t even worried about looking childish in public. They are holding their favorite stuffed bunny that was previously in their bag, because if they don’t hold something, they might lose their mind.

The mall feels especially loud, and they almost tripped on the way down the escalator, and Eurylochus had to catch them by the elbow and it was embarrassing, and there is this crying fucking baby that they would like better if it was quiet. Their sleeves are touching their arms, and it’s bad. Their sock folded in a weird way inside their shoe. They should have worn contacts, because their headphones are squeezing their glasses so their glasses won’t rest on their nose and are actually slightly in the air, ever so slightly askance, and it is driving them insane, They were almost half way to the agua fresca stand when Madison gave the fuck up. It was too much. They were too nauseous, and everything was too loud, and too many things were touching them. Madison could feel Eurylochus’s confusion as they sat down on the carpeted floor, next to the walkway railing. But they really just needed a moment. Several moments. Once again, they are crying today. It starts with sniffles, then progresses to ugly sobs and hiccups. Their mother used to hate it when they cried. There was never a good enough reason for tears. Years later, and they can’t stop the corners of their mouth from straining tight into a weird not-smile when they cry. It hurts.

Eurylochus kneels. It feels like he’s doing a lot of kneeling down today. That’s their fault. They want things to stop being their fault.

Eurylochus runs a hand through his.. host/charge’s hair, and he tenderly cups their cheeks once more. “Are you okay?” He doesn’t get a verbal answer. Or any answer beyond Madison shaking her head. But that’s okay. He doesn’t need a verbal answer, as long as she isn’t completely unresponsive. It’s an awkward first few moments, waiting to see if she would stand on her own. But she didn’t.

“I just wanna get our stupid drinks and go home,” her voice cracked, and so did his heart. He carefully arranges the bag with her purchases over his shoulder, folding her cane to fit into one of the totes, and gently tucks his hands under her legs and back. When he stands, he arranges Madison onto one arm. He feels her tuck her face into his neck and shoulder, and he asks again, “are you okay?” She nodded her head, which he could feel against his skin. This was fine. He could carry her. He could carry her for as long as she wanted. Eurylochus started to walk towards the drink stand again, not wanting to deny the tearful woman half of her main request. The hustle and bustle of the line was loud, and he watches her clamp one hand over the ‘headphones’ that cover her ears. Once at the front of the line, Madison passed him the green ‘cash’ that they often use for purchases while he did his best to request drinks for the both of them. “One watermelon, and one.. mango,” he settled on, only faltering when asked if he wanted medium or large. He glanced down at his upset friend and answered, “Large.” The wait for their drinks to be served wasn't awkward. At least, not to him. Madison wasn’t exactly calming down yet, but she wasn’t openly sobbing. He can only imagine that the lack of open sobbing is a good sign. When their drinks were handed to them, Madison took the watermelon cup.

The drive back to the house was.. Interesting. Madison was quieter than Eurylochus had ever known her to be. He noticed her gnawing on the straw of her drink as she quietly sipped from it, and she occupied herself with watching Odysseus on her phone. Getting out of the car was another matter entirely. Eurylochus helped her unbuckle herself from the safety bindings and carefully juggled holding her, the bags, and their drinks. Madison very helpfully unlocked the door for him.

Their keychain jingled as the lock turned, and Odysseus was immediately upon them as the door opened. Eurylochus carefully sidestepped the small beast to set his now-finished drink down on the small table situated near the entryway and closed the door behind him. He isn’t sure what to do with this armful of teary-eyed Madison. But he has a theory.

Madison felt really silly. With their silicone chewelry in their mouth, headphones over their ears, and bunny in their arms, and it still wasn’t enough? Somehow? They really only half registered Eurylochus setting them down on the couch, draping a soft throw blanket over them. The gesture was really appreciated.. because yeah, they are a big fan of soft things. A post-breakdown nap on the couch is always nice.

But what really made them tear up anew was watching Eurylochus fumble with the TV for a few seconds, first turning on the screen, and then the DVD player. He messed with the remote for a few moments, and then the lyrics to the Aristocats opening song started to filter through the living room. Eurylochus settled back on the couch with them, hefting Madison up into his lap, and then Odysseus into their lap. And it was.. nice. Odysseus protested at first, then seemed to settle when he realized both of his humans were, in fact, also on the couch, and that he did want to be included.

This was just.. a level of care that Madison found almost overwhelming. Her phone chimed, and she didn’t pick it up. Instead, they toss it to the other side of the couch. Unburdened with any need to respond to Tom right that second, they rest their head against Eurylochus and mumble a small, “thank you..”

Eurylochus hums, gently rearranging Madison into a slightly more comfortable position before answering, “Any time, my friend.”

#fanfic #hunger is so heavy #epic: the musical #eurylochus they could never make me hate you #epic eurylochus #epic the musical #eurylochus #epic #chapter update #chapter 18 #autistic madison #madison hernandez #oc

16 notes · View notes