#and she gets really frustrated with everyone else’s stories because the other two of us in the group

[celuere]

prepare for trouble!

and make it double.

pairing: peruere x fem!reader x arlecchino

context: bored to death in a never ending meeting, your husband surely knows how to entertain you.

cw: arle uses her fancy domain trick on you, threesome, bossform arle, vaginal fingering, riding, bondage, cuckolding (kinda?????), squirting, degrading, size kink, a lil bit unrealistic but everything is possible in your husband’s mindscape, also capitano mention because i know he is a gentleman, not proofread

wc: 3k

art creds: drunken my boss

A/N: arle x reader tag has been so quiet lately… time for elise and me to change that. and i apologize for taking this long, lots of work drama this week and i really wanted this fic to be perfect and therefore rewrote a lot of stuff, added paragraphs where i thought we were moving on too fast, etc. because i didn’t want to look back at this work with regret albrkwnrbwkne

so i hope you enjoy!

twenty…

twenty-one…

twenty-two…

twenty-three.

that would make twenty-three windows, two doors, three chandeliers and thirty other attendees in this hall.

you and your husband not counted.

latter one was sat directly opposite of you, her attention actually focused on the conversation at hand rather than you, how you were practically melting into your chair the longer you had to listen to pierro‘s plan regarding… well, you would know if you cared to listen.

even childe was listening, usually he‘d be the first to play tic-tac-toe with you on a random napkin but tonight you were all on your own. and only celestia knows how much longer you will endure this torture.

you ran out of ways to entertain your mind long ago, counting the tiles on the ceiling, the doors, the windows, making up ridiculous stories between the present politicians, diplomats and generals and even going as far as to braid capitano‘s hair to your left. you were surprised he even let you, only sighing before he brushed his silky hair over his shoulder so your hands can have better access. you should really ask him about the conditioner he is using…

your eyes drifted over to your husband once more, red nails slowly drumming on the graphite surface of the table stretching over the hall. her tie was slightly out of place, urging you to bend over and fix its position or untie it completely. plopping the buttons of her black shirt open one by open as you worked your way down her body, letting your tongue glide over the surface of her abs down to the trail of black hair and-

crimson x’s piercing suddenly through you ripped you right out of your fantasy. of course she‘d notice your staring, an eyebrow propped up.

„everything alright?“, she didn’t need to speak those words out, but she only added to your frustration with how her eyes narrowed at your obvious flushed cheeks. you could have sworn her eyes lit up for the shortest moment, as if she‘d looked right into your head before the corners of her lips quirked up.

she really could read you like an open book.

yet her eyes weren‘t leaving yours. only sparing the cleavage of your dress a small glance.

and something shifted in the air around you when a snap echoed through the walls from somewhere far away.

you merely blinked before you found yourself no longer in the cold conference room but rather in front of the bright gloom of a crimson moon. 

with nobody present except your husband, seated on her balemoon throne and a smile so lethal plastered onto her face that caused your core to slowly melt.

„bored out of your mind, my dove?“, her voice came out as an echo, ringing through seemingly endless realm as she gestured you to come closer with a crook of her middle and index finger.

„i… arle, what happened? where did everyone else go…?“, with nervous steps you walked up to her, like a sacrifice about to get offered.

„do not worry about them, love. and certainly don‘t break your pretty little over head over it. think of this as a… secret room you‘ve found yourself in.“, she uncrossed her legs, spreading them right as you reached her, „you certainly found a liking earlier to my tie, didn‘t you?“

„oh, uh… y-yes… yes i did, it looked out of place.“, you reached out almost instinctively but instead of fixing it… your fingers got to work on loosening up the fabric. she did not seem surprised.

„hm? you want it gone altogether? i‘m not refusing, dearest. go on.“, black hands got a hold of your ass and pulled you right on her lap. 

your breath hitched when your clothed cunt came in contact with her crotch. seems like your shameless staring did wonders to her cock already. impressive if you happened to be a stranger. but as her wife, the knave always had little to no self control for you. 

you let the tie hang loose around her neck before you moved over to the buttons of her shirt. arlecchino did not stop you.

„my, are you in a haste?“

„no, i just-“

„hands off then. i‘d like to see if you‘re wearing the undergarments i bought you last week. go on.“, a black hand engulfed yours to stop you from proceeding any further and the sudden change in her tone caused your pussy to throb, oh you were so incredibly underfucked lately.

and it has only been two weeks since the last time she took you to bed.

but truth be told, you were in fact not wearing any pretty lingerie today when you pulled up the skirt of your dress because who in their right mind would think they’ll get pulled into their husband’s mindscape in the middle of a highly confidential meeting???

she only clicked her tongue, eyes displaying the obvious disappointment at the sight of your plain white panties. with a visible stain.

„a shame… i was looking forward to how the purple lace would compliment your pretty body, my flower… but alas…“, she wasted no time with rubbing her thumb over the damp spot on the cotton, tickling a gasp right out of your mouth, „i‘d take my wife wearing anything.“

those words were followed by your slip being pulled aside and caused your heart to set out for a beat, her fingers were quick to run through the slickness covering your folds.

„hah… a-anything…?“, you couldn‘t stop your hips from pushing further into her hand, fingers dancing around your aching hole. oh, she was teasing you. maybe even making you beg for it.

„ma cherie, i would show you seven different ways to heaven even if you wore a trashbag in front of me.“, tone as hard as a rock (also as something else…) and you knew she wasn‘t playing around. she was never playing around when you were involved. may the shogun strike her down if she ever lied to you.

her words caused your stomach to flare up, heat shooting up right into your cheeks at how serious she actually was before you felt her two fingers sliding into your pussy. 

„a-ahh… y-you didn‘t even let me answer-“, you bit down on your lower lip at the feeling of her digits feeling your insides up for that certain spot, yet her face was unmoved. observing you. a wolf stalking its prey right before the deadly bite.

„right, where did my manners go… it is almost like my wife hasn’t been undressing me with her eyes for the entirety of this evening.“, a shiver bolted through your body as arlecchino aimed for that neatly hidden spot, sending bolts of of ecstasy down your spine.

„it is no secret to me that that my dear wife secretly wishes for much more… filthier fantasies.“

you thought you were hallucinating for a short moment before you felt it. a pair two hands- much bigger hands- working their way from your shoulder down to your breasts. hands carrying a curse with bloody lines for skin that dragged the expensive silk of your gown below your tits.

oh god.

oh. god.

if you weren‘t already sitting in your husband‘s lap you would have surely lost your foothold. you would recognize that pattern anywhere.

„h-how-“, you gasped as her hands engulfed the soft mass of your tit, giving it a gentle squeeze.

„some questions are best left unanswered…  besides, i don‘t think you truly care about my reasoning.“, you almost overheard her words with how arlecchino‘s fingers were practically rubbing you into whimpering mess, nodding your head to her statement of which you only understood the first half. 

she was so twisted for that. so twisted and cruel for reading your fantasies like that. why did she always have to be so attentive to you??

„look at you trembling already, dove. say, does this situation arouse you, hm?“, an almost exhilarating whine escaped your lips as you felt her fingers giving your hardened buds a good pinch, only adding further to the knot in your abdomen. too much all at once. too many hands on you. too many words you have to process while arlecchino‘s fingers were working inside your clenching cunt, never missing a chance to go for that spot that caused your body to shiver and your hips to further press against her hand. 

„hah… i-it does- oh fuck-“, your first orgasm came crashing down on you like a bucket of ice water, straightening your spine and throwing your head back against what you thought to be your… other husband‘s abdomen as your walls grabbed onto arlecchino‘s fingers with no end. as if your body isn‘t already screaming for something more… filling.

like you weren‘t about to get the much bigger deal.

„so exhausted already after i merely used my fingers on you. i trained you to last much more longer than that, didn‘t i?“

the both of them hummed at your pathetic state. your exposed tits and their hardened nipples, your slick covering your husband‘s hand and sleeve and probably even her pants and yet you still looked… unfinished. as if as puzzle piece was missing. it was probably the lack of running mascara or your still very empty pussy that triggered their next action.

„i‘d like to allow myself the next turn now.“, a snap so crisp it could‘ve cut through time itself echoed throughout the bloody realm before fainting into a faraway whisper, when a yelp left your throat as multiple thicks string wrapped themselves around your limbs. especially your thighs, abdomen and both arms, lifting you off of your husband‘s lap who just… smiled at you. 

„now let me have a proper look at you, doll.“, and like clockwork your body was slowly turned around. breath catching in your throat, heart rate increasing and if your lungs weren‘t feeling too big for your chest right now you would have probably moaned screamed at the sight presenting itself to you.

you knew she was… bigger in this form. what used to be around one head taller than you now turned into around three whole heads. and you suddenly felt so small at the cursed hand working its way from your tits down to your tummy, her sprawled out fingers touching your underboob even tho she was pressing down a bit below your belly button. but most importantly was…

„wh-what is the meaning of this-“, suddenly you sucked in a sharp breath when you got moved closer to peruere, whose smile had something… sinister in it. yet it failed to scare you, only causing the painful ache between your legs to intensify.

you only heard their joined chuckles roaming through the mindscape, not mocking you. they seemed rather amused.

„my sweet doll.“, your throat bobbed when you noticed her other hand slowly unbuckling the belt, but what rather concerned you was what she was caging underneath, „you‘re not truly asking because you want an answer, right?“, she did not bother with removing the leather from its loops and only shoved the fabric just low enough to uncover her throbbing cock, the black tip already glistening with precum in the red gloom of the balemoon.

the strings kept you in a straight position as your left leg got pushed up to your chest to reveal your arousal running down your legs. the sudden exposure caused you to gasp and avert your eyes from the combination of her hard cock aligning with your drenched entrance.

your husband clicked her tongue in annoyance before a hand big enough to crush your skull with ease grabbed your face to make you look back down again.

„i want you to watch it disappear inside of you. i thought you were smart enough to remember that…“, she slowly pushed herself forward and therefore her tip right inside and holy mother on earth. 

„a-ah-!! o-oh shit!! that‘s n-not fair-!!!“, she was so big. you weren‘t even sure your poor pussy could handle that but you didn‘t even know if this was your actual physical body getting stretched out on peruere‘s cock in the first place. 

„shhhh… don‘t be so loud. we got someone to entertain after all. surely, you‘d want to do a good job for her.“, you moaned as you felt her sharp nails digging deeper into your muscles with each centimeter she further slipped into your greedy cunt. and you were losing more of your sanity with each of them, eyes darting around, unsure where to look. her stern expression? the noticeable tummy bulge? and why were you even still wearing your dress in the first place? that thing just hung loose around your waist for all it was worth. might as well just rip it off.

„oh, don‘t let my presence cause any distractions for you. i‘m more than satisfied with the view from behind here.“, her raw voice from right behind was laced with desire as thick as honey. you were honestly a bit afraid of what‘s about to come for *you* your pussy.

„goodness, she is tight… and so small compared to me.“, as if she wanted to undermine her statement, a black hand pressed down onto the bulge that formed on your, sending your mind down a spiral of ecstasy at the almost uncomfortable sensation. your mouth hung open, moans and whimpers freely leaving as they pleased before you felt the tip slipping past your g-spot and you probably never sounded louder.

a thumb rubbed circles over your aching clit as if in an attempt to further ease you around her cock.

„breathe, doll. we have done this plenty of times, surely my wife won‘t give into defeat this early on. i trained you much better than this.“, you could only imagine those crimson eyes roaming over your trembling figure, how the strings gently squeezed your flesh and kept you in place. the only ones that allowed you to mildly move around were attached to your arms, one hand currently grabbing for dear life onto peruere‘s neck to somehow anchor yourself. you knew she couldn‘t possibly fit all the way inside of you. but you wanted her to. you wanted her to use you like a fleshlight so bad, to drag you on and off her throbbing cock like you weighed nothing in her eyes.

„i think our pretty girl is pretty much at her wits end already… and i am barely halfway inside. but this will also do.“, a hand came up to tilt your head upward to face her when she carefully pulled back- to push herself inside again, „look at you, i just started moving and you are already threatening to tear up.“, she couldn‘t help but lick her lips at the pathetic sight in front of her as she brushed the salty fluid off with her thumb, only for them to grow glassy again when she turned the pace up once more. slick running down your leg as your vision grew hazy with her cock pumping in and out of your still adjusting pussy. you could barely hear arlecchino‘s words over the filthy sounds from your cunt.

„surely you want her to come inside of you. isn’t that so, lovely?“, she sounded way nearer than a few moments earlier before you felt a pair of soft lips planting themselves on your neck and two hands coming up to cup your pretty tits, massaging them, squeezing them. you‘re going to die of a heart attack here.

„i‘ll take that as a yes-”, she ended her sentence with a sharp hiss as your nail scratched over her neck hard enough to draw blood when you felt it.

it was a rare occasion. often it was caused by overstimulation or when arlecchino was actively trying for it, but squirting over her cock on your second orgasm when all she did was move her hips in a fairly medium-paced manner? it was embarrassing. the way you gushed all over her fat dick, pants and heels oh you will never hear the end of it.

„my, what a stamina you have today, dearest…“, long fingers sneaked from your breast down to spread your still leaking pussy apart, causing you to automatically grip onto your husbands biceps.

„ah-!! wait- i-i‘m still sensitive-!“, you started sobbing on the spot at how your poor cunt was only penetrated further.

but do you also wanna know what comes with a bigger dick? bigger loads.

with one last push of her hips and a low grunt emitting from her throat, peruere emptied herself inside of you, thick ropes of white painting your pussy and you were full of her. 

„mhm… get it all in there… gosh, look at that pretty pussy taking my cum…“, arlecchino pushed her two fingers inside as peruere retreated from you, a thick string of both of your juices connecting you to her tip before it snapped.

„p-please hold on- ah-!“, poor you couldn’t help but beg for a little break, you were just so overwhelmed with her fingers playing in your cum-filled pussy…

„what about your input?“

„huh?“

„your input, [name].“

you felt like somebody just straight up punched you right into the gut when you found yourself back inside the conference room. with all the attention suddenly focused on you.

„m-my-”, you quickly had to clear your throat with a few coughs, trying to ignore how beyond soaked you were, „my input on what exactly…?“, you masked it but you were fucking panicking on the inside. and your husband was merely raising an eyebrow at you. 

just then capitano leaned down to your ear, „it‘s about arlecchino‘s deployment in liyue for the next month, as her wife they want your opinion on the matter.“, and he still had that stupid braid in his hair.

„ah, thank you… i have no objections regarding the upcoming plans.“, that was all it took for everyone to take their eyes off of you. 

except for one person.

her x‘s were resting on you. piercing through your face as she crosses her arms.

that’s when you noticed the scratch on her neck. a fresh one.

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

LITTLE BEAR!

Baby Series!

❥Platonic Choi Jongho x fem reader

❥Yandere Park Seonghwa x fem reader

➯a/n: big bear moments are here 💞 i'm excited to finally be building on their relationship because i love them, you love them, it's love all around, let's get to it !!!

♡'･ᴗ･'♡genre: drabbles, angst, fluff

✫彡wordcount: 2k

ಠ_ಠwarning/content: non-linear(most moments have no set place in timeline), unhealthy relationships/trauma collective bonding, stockholm+lima syndrome, fear / anxiety, physical affection, guilt

✩index: little space- a regressed state of mind where someone feels like a child. hyung - a close male friend older than you, used by other males.

➯disclaimer: this is a work of fiction, and baby and seonghwa do NOT represent a healthy little and caregiver relationship, or a healthy relationship at all. everyone in this story needs therapy and LOTS of it.

MDNI.

❝guard dog❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

      "Baby, I really am not in the mood to repeat myself..." Seonghwa's words make Jongho look up immediately. More specifically — the tone of his voice makes his head snap up.

    He's clearly irritated. Not at anything singular, and certainly not at you. But you don't know the difference when you're feeling so little. All you know is that your Mommy is mad, so you're afraid to let him touch you.

     They were learning a particularly difficult dance, and Seonghwa was ready to just go home. But he approached you when his face was still showing his frustration and that made your flight or fight kick in.

     Apparently, you had unlocked a new option after spending so much time with Wooyoung — defensive sass.

    "Good, 'cause I don't wanna hear you again anyway."

    Everyone left in the practice room freezes, you included. You had thought about talking back to him, but you seriously didn't mean to actually do it.

      Jongho is on the way to you already as Seonghwa's face drops further. He's always the first one to move.

     "What did you say, Baby?"

     "M'sorry, Mommy, pl-"

     Seonghwa sighs as Jongho steps in front of you, your wide eyes disappearing behind him. "Jongho," he begins slowly, "don't pull this crap right now."

     Whenever Jongho thinks things are about to escalate, or when they actually do — he always throws himself between the two of you. And he doesn't move. Like a fucking stone wall until things calm down. Seonghwa can scream at him, pull at him, try to reach around him — but Jongho is planted in place to protect you.

    "Hyung, maybe we should take a breath?" San places his hand on Seonghwa's shoulder. "I think you just scared her-"

    "That doesn't mean she can talk back like that!"

   As he feels you grab onto the back of his shirt, Jongho reaches a hand back and takes ahold of yours.

     Telling you without words that he won't be moving until you're safer.

❝today❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

"Big bear!" You yell as you run into the practice room, having wormed your way out of Seonghwa's arms when you saw him. You didn't see him all weekend.

"Little bear!" He growls playfully as he picks you up, swinging your legs back and forth.

"What day is it?" You ask excitedly as he sets you down. No matter how many times you go through this, it still makes you both happy.

"Well," he taps his chin, "it's today!"

"My favorite!" You hop, hugging him again as Seonghwa chuckles from the side. No matter how many times he watches, it's still as cute as the first time. Your little inside saying from one of the many Winnie the Pooh books you've read together.

"Really? Mine too!"

❝eepy❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

      You have your head laid in Jongho's lap; droopy eyes watching the cartoon movie on his phone, fighting your sleep as he gently scratches your back.

You two are the only ones in the practice room, everyone else gone for the day and he volunteered to stay with you while Seonghwa recorded.

After you yawn for the fifth time in thirty minutes, he asks, "are you sleepy, little bear?"

"Yeahm..." You whine quietly, "how much longer 'til Mommy is done?"

He checks the time and grimaces a bit, "maybe still... a little while."

"Dangs it," you sit up and pout, rubbing your eyes in a way that almost makes him coo. "Him should hurry."

He chuckles softly, "but don't you want him to do good?"

"Yeahm!" You nod with a sudden burst of energy, "you right, him take his time and make a good song!" You grab Seonghwa's bag from beside you and find the emergency pacifier he has inside.

"Are you getting restless, little bear?" He asks as you start nibbling on it. You don't use one all the time, mostly when you're extra anxious or super tired.

" 'Eepy," you mumble from around it, laying back down on the hardwood and using his lap as a pillow. "It's okay I nap?"

"Of course," he smiles softly down at you, rubbing your arm through Seonghwa's fuzzy sweater that you wear.

By the time Seonghwa finally returns, almost an hour later, Jongho has laid down on the floor and maneuvered you ontop of him because you kept grumbling in your sleep. Now, though, you're as comfy as can be. And Jongho doesn't seem to mind either, because he's asleep with his hoodie under his head.

Seonghwa can't help but snap a picture of the adorable-ness, an affectionate smile on his lips.

❝spilled milk❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

     "I'm really sorry," you cry as Jongho cleans up the milk on the floor, the roll of paper towels clutched tightly in your hands as you stand off to the side.

      The jug had busted when you lifted it off the counter. It wasn't your fault at all. But you still felt like it was.

     "It's okay, it's not a-" He pauses as he turns to you for another paper towel. Your tearful eyes and the way you look just about ready to run and hide makes his heart break. "It's not a big deal... really." He moves slowly to get the towels from you, making quick work of the rest of the mess.

    "C'mon, little bear," he takes your hand gently and leads you to his room, reassuring you the whole way, "I'm not mad, I swear."

      You're biting your thumb as he digs through his closet, keeping quiet because that's what you've learned to do to when you're scared.

     You know realistically that you have no reason to be afraid of Jongho, he's the one who protects you! But you feel like at any second Seonghwa will bust through the door and demand to know who let you pour your own drink in the first place, demand to know why your clothes are soaked.

    "Here, you can change into this," he whispers so he doesn't spook you from your thoughts, handing you a large t-shirt. "Those clothes can't be comfy anymore, right?"

     You shake your head a bit, a quiet 'nuh-uh' stuck in your throat. You hate the feeling of clothes sticking to you, so you take the shirt.

"M'sorry, big bear... I didn't mean to make a mess."

"Hey, it's okay," he uses his sleeve to wipe your tears as they start free falling, "I'm not mad at you. You shouldn't cry over spilled milk, haven't you heard that expression? And it wasn't your fault."

His next words come before he can stop them, they've been on his mind for a long time. And they have a heaviness in them that makes you crumble like a cracker.

"None of this is your fault, (Y/n)."

❝bear hug❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

You were crying. That wasn't anything new, to be completely honest. You cry a lot. Your situation is cry-worthy. Nobody blames you.

"I know, Baby," Seonghwa shushes you quietly, rocking you in his lap, "shhh, it's okay. Cry it out."

You had seen someone who looked like your best friend, and it sent you spiraling. Thank goodness you didn't see her before they went on stage, or heaven forbid while they were there. Seonghwa would have refused to leave your side, he would have choked the life out of the nearest person if he came back to see you crying like you are.

The second you started breaking down, Seonghwa whisked you away to a quiet corner of the building where people hardly frequent; giving you the privacy you needed to sob as loudly as your body could handle.

Jongho and Mingi gave you a few long, long, moments before they found you.

Mingi was sat right beside you on the stairs, rubbing your back slowly. And Jongho was leaned against the wall with a small frown.

Seonghwa had whispered to them what happened, and it broke their hearts probably as much as it broke yours. Well — not nearly as much, but still.

You had finally exhausted all of your tears, your sobs stopped by the way Seonghwa leans your head to face the ceiling gently. He knows how to handle your meltdowns like a pro by now. "Better now, Baby?"

You sniffle, giving him the saddest thumbs up they've ever seen.

"Do you want a hug?" Jongho's words have you crawling right out of Seonghwa's lap.

You crash into him and sigh with relief. You always feel safe in his arms. He locks them around you and hugs you tightly, the very definition of a bear hug.

    "Poor little bear," he whispers, closing his eyes as tears threaten to leave them.

    He knows he's part of the reason why you're in so much pain, but he can't stand to think about it. All he can do is try to be a steady rock for you, grounding you with his hug.

❝goosebumps❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

"Seems a little scary," Seonghwa pouts at the book that Jongho offers him.

"It's for kids," the younger man reassures him, "I looked it up!"

"Big bear!" You come barreling down the hall with San behind you, immediately wrapping your arms around his neck.

"Little bear!" Every time you greet him like that, he will always meet it with the same energy.

"It says ages nine to fourteen," Seonghwa puts his phone back on the counter, "her little age is too small for t-"

"Is this for me?"

Damn, Seonghwa thinks. No getting rid of them now that you've seen the pile of books and have an excited glint in your eyes. He can't say no to that.

He sighs quietly before smiling, adding the book in his hands to the collection. "Big bear got them for you."

"You did?! My very own books? Not to borrow?" He lets you borrow a lot, but the only books you 'own' are the few that Seonghwa has; and some of those are off limits.

"Yup! All for you, little bear," he laughs softly as you give him another tight hug before climbing up onto the chair and looking at all of them.

"What do we say, Baby?" Seonghwa hums as he pets your head, eyes locked on your smile with one of his own tugging at his lips.

"Thank you! Oh, 'Goosebumps'... sounds spooky!"

"Don't read them too late, yeah?" Jongho leans against the table, watching you sort through the books, "I'll have to stay up and fight away the nightmares."

❝rest❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

They had a rare week day off, and everyone was sleeping in save for you and Seonghwa. He likes to keep your routine and schedule the same, it's good for you— both of you.

As you're eating breakfast in front of the TV, a rare treat, you hear the deadbolt on the door clunk.

Both of your heads lean back to see who enters.

"Big bear?"

"Hey," he yawns as he waves to you, tossing his keys and kicking off his slippers before shuffling to the couch.

"What're you doing up so early? You should be resting," Seonghwa hums as he takes the last bite of his food.

"I figured I can rest over here with you guys. You got any plans?" Jongho flops down next to you, ruffling your bed head softly.

"No, we're having a lazy day. You're welcome to stay, you know that," he gathers your bowl and yawns as well while he takes them to the sink.

"You don't have to waste the day hanging out with us, big bear," you catch the infectious yawn while stretching out.

"It's not wasted if it's with you, little bear." He says with a sleepy smile, letting you lean into his side and cuddle up.

It's really not. He's come to love spending time with his little bear.

❝LITTLE BEAR!❞ ✧ ೃ༄ ｡

[fightmewiatch]

The emotion behind the way Edwin uses fuck is so heavy, because outside of the pilot episode and the scene on the stairs, he doesn't swear. He's a proper boy, repressed and focused and he bottles everything up.

In the Pilot, "The police don't know what to do with a fucking witch", he isn't swearing about the witch. He's angry, and he's upset, and he's frustrated. He's trying to focus on solving this case, saving the girl, doing the right thing, fixing things. Edwin spent seventy years in Hell, fighting for a way out (the detail in his journal, he didn't get out on the first try, he spent those 70s years trying over and over and over to find a way out - but that is a story for a whole other time), torture and pain and heartbreak, only to get out and fall into the school to find out no one cared that he died. "An act of God." The school wrote him off, everyone wrote it off and that was it, that was the end of it, no one cared that a 16 year old boy went to bed and was never seen or heard from again, poof, gone. He spent Charles' last moments with him to keep him company, and calm, and not scared, the two of them knowing what had happened only for the school to once again cover up the death of a 16 year old boy and pretend that whatever happened didn't. Edwin spent the next 30 years connecting with Charles, trying to help ghosts so they don't spend their entire afterlives in a state of absolute sorrow and heartbreak like has. We get such a bare taste of the ghosts they've saved and helped move on, who knows how much good they've truly done, how many they've saved from going to Hell on technicalities like Edwin had done. He's frustrated with Crystal, because he's spent 30 years working with Charles and only with Charles, he knows his friend, he knows how he behaves and how he works and how he acts, those two are connected on a level some people only dream about, and here she comes, she latches on, and she joins them to help but she's so hyper focused on herself and David (understandably so), that she isn't giving the same attention to the case that Edwin and Charles have always done, and he's angry, and he feels like it's going to happen to this girl, he is worried that her focus on David, is going to cause them to fail. Crystal has every right to be upset and scared and everything else that she is, but she doesn't consider, until that moment, that Edwin has a right to be upset about how it seems to be interfering with the case. The way that she reacts when he says "The police don't know what to do with a fucking witch," she realizes it then just how important this case is. Edwin was dragged to hell, the boys around him obliterated - leaving behind the idea that maybe he was, too - so to the school, maybe Edwin just disappeared, like Becky, like all the other little girls over the years in Port Townsend. Solving Becky's case is so damn important to Edwin that he is taking it personally. And while it's subtle, Charles reacts to him swearing, too, as though Edwin does not swear. And based on the rest of the season, it's clear he really doesn't. The way he swears in the pilot is from a place of complete and utter sorrow and anger.

In ep 7, it's different. He's spent the whole season struggling with who is he, trying to come to terms with a feeling he'd repressed for at least a century, and he's had to do it while dealing with the Cat King and Monty and watching Charles flirt with Crystal and struggle through his own rage, he's done it as quietly as he could, as if bringing it up out loud might ruin everything that he's worked so hard for. But now he's in Hell, again, now he's trying to get out, again. Edwin encountered the reason he was sent there in the first place, and found out what really happened. Edwin spent all those years thinking it was purely malice that got him sacrificed, only to find out it was just because Simon had a crush on him, and did an absurdly stupid thing thinking it was harmless. I think in that moment, Edwin realized how easy it is to misunderstand something - because clearly, Edwin had absolutely no idea that Simon liked him at all, until the moment he admitted it in Hell. And then Charles shows up. Charles came to save him, armed with a bomb, a Molotov cocktail, and Edwin's notebook with a map of hell on it. Charles came down, he listened to Edwin's directions, he ran behind him most of the time to make sure Edwin was going to get out. Charles was with him, saving him from one of the rooms, following him to the stairs and up. He stopped with him, even when they needed to keep going, Charles let him have a moment on the steps. Edwin is in shock, he cannot believe it. All these years, all these write offs, all these moments where Edwin genuinely didn't think he'd ever get out of Hell if he were to go back, believed that if they ever got caught by Death or anyone from the afterlife, he would be damned forever because who gives a shit about a technicality, who cares about the poor boy that was sacrificed and written off by the rest of the living. Edwin didn't know what else to do or say, the emotions he'd kept bottled up while he tried to figure them out were coming out one way or the other. "It's so fucking stupid, it's unbelievable." Edwin didn't think he deserved it, thought it was stupid to come down and save him, because who would do such a thing. Charles risked himself to come down to Hell to save Edwin. Edwin never thought he'd be worth it. And when Charles just shrugs it off a bit, reminds him that he was gonna do it, and he's so easy about it that Edwin just. Confesses. And corrects him, when Charles misunderstands for a second. Charles didn't think twice about "Great. Love you too. Can we go?" And he really didn't even hesitate to reassure Edwin when Edwin clarified what he meant, that they had forever to figure things out.

[discordiansamba]

was rotating another thought while making dinner about an idea in which, after being duped by azula at the start of season two, zuko makes a frustrated wish to not be so easily tricked by people's lies... which gets heard by a spirit that's a bit of a trickster.

or: zuko wakes up the next day and realizes he can now hear people's thoughts. this wasn't what he meant, THANKS.

zuko responds to something that iroh didn't say out loud. he just stares at his nephew- and then quietly asks zuko in his mind if he can hear him. zuko stares at his uncle in confusion. of course he can hear him. he isn't completely deaf. what kind of-

uncle why aren't your lips moving.

he cannot for the life of him shut it off. the more crowded an area, the more thoughts he can hear. it's headache inducing.

iroh helps zuko develop a few meditation techniques that help with the constant background noise of other people's thoughts.

he gets a. really rude wake up call when he encounters azula again, and can hear her laughing at him in her head. he knows she didn't even think twice about attacking uncle, because he could hear her think it- and then do it.

but he can also hear the genuine concern and desire to help in katara's thoughts. so when she offers to help heal iroh... he lets her this time.

(also, can they all stop thinking about how he has hair now.)

katara heals iroh. she says he'll probably ideally need at least another session to be certain he's free of any unexpected complications. zuko can hear that she's suspicious of him, but her concern for iroh outweighs it.

zuko tries to avoid them. they try to give zuko space. it's very awkward all around.

toph does not care about any of this. toph cares about the nice old man who gave her tea and good advice. zuko doesn't even need to read her mind to know about her conversation with iroh- she just tells him as much.

...and well. he's been hearing uncle's thoughts for weeks now. he knows beyond a a shadow of a doubt how much he cares about him.

long story short: zuko ends up tentatively joining the gaang here. mostly it's just for his own self-preservation at first. it's obvious azula doesn't care if he dies. he has better odds if he sticks with them. he still tries to keep his distance- but it's hard to do that while on the saddle of a flying bison, while you have mind reading powers.

(he goes with them to wan shi tong's library. he asks one of the knowledge seekers if they have anything about being able to hear people's thoughts. he doesn't really find anything conclusive. great.)

iroh makes the choice to part ways with him at ba sing se. his nephew has a chance to pass through the city unnoticed, but iroh cannot say the same for himself- at least, not if he's in the company of the avatar. zuko can hear for himself just how hard a decision this was to reach.

zuko: also. what's the white lotus.

(iroh sweats)

what's up it's round two of hearing your sister's thoughts. he hates it as much as the first time it happened.

zuko, meet joo dee. there's literally nothing going on in that woman's head. it's freaky.

(BA SING SE IS SO NOISY.)

at least the upper ring is a lot quieter. the gaang just watches zuko constantly get headaches and nod to themselves. yeah, that's zuko. he's just cranky.

how to find the avatar's missing bison: just read long feng's mind.

no need to figure out a way to tell everyone else this. just go get the bison yourself. also uncover a secret brainwashing facility?

toph knows something is up with zuko. she's just not sure what. his heartbeat just randomly went crazy when they were talking to long feng. and then when he comes back with appa and says he overheard the dai li talking? a total lie. spill it sparky. what's UP with you.

zuko: ...I could tell you, but none of you are going to like it.

sokka: try us.

zuko: I can hear everything you're thinking.

sokka: ...okay, yeah. I don't like that actually.

aang: zuko! you should come with me to meet the guru! maybe he can help you with the mind reading thing!

(he cannot, but zuko appreciates the offer.)

time to read your sister's thoughts! part three! she still makes zuko the offer to join her, but this time he can hear all of her underlying thoughts. she needs his help? more like she wants someone she can blame if things go wrong.

(but they don't. things always go right for azula.)

[venomwrites]

This fic was inspired by both the concept art of Vi using a Kiramman banner as a blanket during the pit fighter era and Caitlyn saying that arrests need cause. Cross Posted to Ao3

“Hey, Cait?”

Caitlyn glances up from her book to see Vi emerging from the bathroom. There’s a frown on her face as she holds the brown bottle of antiseptic in her hand. Caitlyn tries to think of what she could be upset about or what she could need it for. Vi is quiet a lot of the time though. More content right now to sit in front of the fire than to do anything that would get her injured. When she leans against the bathroom frame, all Caitlyn can see is unbroken skin. Her eyes are fixated on the bottle as she turns it over in her hand. Finally Caitlyn cannot take the silence any longer. 

“Yes?” She prods gently, “what is it?”

“Why is this here?” Vi asks in the same tone. 

“It’s antiseptic?” Caitlyn offers, unsure of the question. A brief flash of frustration creases Vi’s face, “it’s usually in the bathroom. Unless there’s somewhere else—“

“No, I mean,” Vi runs her thumb around the cap, “why are you getting your antiseptic from Zaun?”

Something cold creeps up Caitlyn’s spine. Vi’s blue grey eyes remain on her as she stares. Caitlyn swallows tightly, feeling as though she’s been caught doing something naughty. It’s on the tip of her tongue to say that it’s a common antiseptic. One that everyone can get with a few coins. Or she could mention the black market. Even though the label on the bottle says it was made in Piltover, it could have made it’s way there. Slipped past the rows and rows of Enforcers she had positioned on the bridge opening each crate with crowbars. It could have happened. But lying to Vi is not something she can bring herself to do again. Even if the desire lingers like the taste of liquor on her tongue. 

“It was just a few things—“

She’s not expect Vi to look quite so betrayed as she looks down at the bottle. Even though she has every right to feel betrayed. Betrayed and so much worse. But Caitlyn can’t bear the look at this late hour as Vi grips the bottle like a lifeline and looks at her like a threat. She gets out of bed, tightening her robe and coming around to the foot of it. 

“Can I explain?” She asks, “please?” 

Vi nods but doesn’t move. 

“I wanted to have cause for the arrests,” Caitlyn starts, “we investigated everything we could find. Including vandalism.” 

Vi closes her eyes in annoyance. 

“The banner.”

Caitlyn swallows tightly. 

“They said you were using it as a blanket,” Caitlyn forces herself to continue, “living in that room,” her stomach rolls at the memory of the photographs, “I decided every arrest and I saw those pictures—“

“You saw pictures of me?”

It takes all of Caitlyn’s strength to appear collected and nod at the tone in Vi’s voice. She doesn’t blame her. She wouldn’t have wanted anyone to see her in that state either. It was really just two photographs but the story they told still makes Caitlyn’s stomach roll. Vi curled under the banner, somehow impossibly tiny on an already small bed. Then Vi sprawled out on the bed with a bottle by her foot, arm’s strewn about. You could count her ribs in the second picture, even through the filthy window. It had been alarming how quickly she became gaunt. Everything in Caitlyn had screamed at the sight of her state. Screamed for her to run and get her. But then she remembered those photographs were only in her possession because she was in charge of martial law. So she had thrown them into the fire and declined to arrest someone whose only crime was desperation. 

“Yes,” Caitlyn says, “I declined your arrest—“

“How did you recognize me?” Vi cuts in, “only Loris and Jinx recognized me.”

“We slept next to each other for weeks,” Caitlyn points out, “how could I not recognize you?” Vi is quiet so Caitlyn continues, “I declined your arrest but I couldn’t just not do anything.”

Vi is quiet and Caitlyn wonder which insult will come out of her mouth first as she thumbs the label of the bottle. If she’s even going to want to yell at her. In a way, Caitlyn would rather have the yelling than the silence. But she can’t bring herself to interrupt Vi while she digests this latest round of betrayal. All Caitlyn can do is quietly try not to fidget and run through the list. Every time, it makes her cringe. Before Vi came back it was because she had no idea how she got away with it. It felt like so much, like such a risk. After, it was because she had no idea how to explain herself. When Vi was there, it felt woefully inefficient. How did one explain to someone that they betrayed them, abandoned them but also tried to intervene just enough so they wouldn’t die? It sounded impossibly cruel, even to Caitlyn’s ears. 

“So this and what else?” Vi asks finally. Caitlyn looks at her and her eyes slowly move towards her, “all of it?” She asks in a voice that is alarmingly small. 

“No,” Caitlyn says quickly and then winces, “I don’t think—“

But Vi is already on her feet, one hand dragging through her hair and the antiseptic clenched in her fist. Caitlyn knows where her mind is going. Panic thrums under her skin as she tries to correct this in some way that doesn’t have Vi running into the night in her pajamas. 

“It was barely anything,” Caitlyn protests. 

“You kept me alive!” Vi cries, her voice ringing with betrayal, “you—“ she drops back onto the bed next to her, “the whole time it was you.”

“No, of course not,” Caitlyn says quickly, “I hardly did anything. I’m sure a lot of it was Jinx—“

“Tenth stair, third crate, right side of the door,” Vi rattles off. 

Caitlyn presses her lips together. 

“I didn’t want you falling on anything,” she mutters tightly. 

It had to be obvious but not too obvious so it wouldn't get stolen. Vi had to be able to find it but not realize it was left for her. It wasn’t like it was anything terribly extravagant, but it was enough. Coins wrapped in tissues and tucked into cups to look discarded. Bottles of antiseptic. Rolls of wraps and gauze. At least once a month it was a half torn shopping bag arranged to look forgotten but containing menstrual supplies and a few treats. Again it was nothing that would bring attention to itself, nothing that would matter to anyone. Except someone who had never lived alone as an adult. Someone who might not remember how to get a meal that didn’t involve sliding a tray along a line. Vi looks at the antiseptic again and Caitlyn tries to string together something. Anything. But how did one even begin to explain this? She opens her mouth and closes it again when nothing perfect comes to mind. And then she sees the wetness in Vi’s eyes and her stomach drops further. 

“I should—“

“The bag was you as well, wasn’t it?” She says. Caitlyn only barely nods, “Loris said it was a great find and on my birthday,” she shakes her head, “you got me a birthday present.”

“It was your first birthday,” Caitlyn protests.

“You know I hallucinated you?” Vi says. Caitlyn stiffens, “when I was drunk I’d see you. I thought I was going crazy,” she shakes her head, “but you were there the whole time.”

“No,” Caitlyn says quickly, touching Vi’s forearm before she can overthink it, “no, I just couldn’t let you starve—“

“Or get an infection—“ Vi cuts in. 

“I just didn’t want you to die,” Caitlyn mutters. 

“Or not celebrate my birthday,” Vi says, turning the bottle over in her hands. She shakes her head again and looks at Caitlyn, “First time I busted my knuckles in the pit I just kind of figured what the hell,” she says, “I was just gonna leave ‘em. Or be drunk enough for the sting,” she strokes the label with her thumb absently, “I wouldn’t let Loris come up. Even though he asked. Fell flat on my face on the last step,” she shakes her head, “you pour them out yourself?”

Caitlyn fights the urge to melt in embarrassment. 

“I thought you would figure it out if they were full.”

Vi makes a noise of disbelief and Caitlyn looks for something to get her off the bed. It’s a cowards move but that is par for the course with all of this. How many nights did she spend in the bathroom cursing Vi and pouring out antiseptic until it was enough to take care of whatever was wrong with her but not enough for the bottle to look full? Any window of Vi coming back to her was firmly shut while Ambessa breathed down her neck, but she couldn’t just leave her to die. No matter how angry she was, she couldn’t do that. Not when there was a chance she could prevent it. Vi gives her an impossibly fond look and that is all Caitlyn needs to lurch up from the bed. 

“It was the bare minimum,” she says, “anyone would have done it—“

“Cait that’s not true—“

“Stop interrupting me!” She erupts finally. 

Vi pushes herself up. Caitlyn turns to the doorframe, wrapping her arms around herself. This was not what she thought was going to happen tonight. Certainly she thought they would have the conversation some day. But she was hoping for more time before Vi realized she was just as much of a monster inside. Just a little time. Except Vi doesn’t bolt for the door or yell back. She just joins Caitlyn in the entrance to the bathroom, like she has countless times before. When the panic wins and Caitlyn can barely bring herself through the threshold. Like she has any right to be afraid anymore. But Vi sits there and hums as she showers, hums so when Caitlyn sticks her head out she can hear she isn’t about to be attacked. She’s not sure if she can stand Vi humming right now, she doesn’t deserve it. Even less than she did a few hours ago and she didn’t deserve it then. 

“Why are you downplaying saving my life?” Vi asks. 

“I didn’t!” Caitlyn protests, turning around, “that was Loris and Jinx and you,” she tightens her arms, “I had a few bottles of antiseptic dropped where you would find them—“ Vi opens her mouth, “and you were still covered in half infected injuries when we were at the hospital so it didn’t even work.” 

Vi is quiet for a moment but Caitlyn isn’t fooled that she is going to accept what she’s said. 

“The water never went off,” she says, instead of whatever Caitlyn is expecting, “the place had electricity the whole time. I thought it was Loris,” Caitlyn opens her mouth to give the credit to him, “you never stopped paying him.”

Caitlyn shakes her head. 

Vi lets out a trembling breath. 

“You know I pulled down that banner because it was the only warm thing I could find?” She says hoarsely, “the only thing thing that felt safe?” She drums her fingers against the brown glass, “but it wasn’t.”

Caitlyn cringes at the memory of the picture. 

“You were taking care of me the whole time,” Vi says but there’s no anguish in her voice. Just that tone that slips in when something isn’t making sense, “I left you—“

“No I left you,” Caitlyn says, unable to hear her beat herself up about the fight one more time, “I was so angry I didn’t even think about the danger you would be in or how you would react,” she shakes her head, “I know it was nothing but it was all I could do.”

“Hey,” Vi is in front of her suddenly, fingers cupping her cheeks. The bottle rolls across the carpet, “this wasn’t nothing. Not to me.”

Caitlyn can’t help but turn her cheek into the warmth of Vi’s hand as her thumbs brush along her cheekbones. 

“I was still mad,” Caitlyn whispers, steeling herself for the motion to stop. 

But instead she’s greeted by a warm chuckle as it continues. 

“You take care of everyone you’re mad at?” Vi teases, like they both don’t know the answer to that question. 

Caitlyn guides VI’s hands down and clasps them in her own. It used to be so easy to do this. To tell people the perfect thing, to choose her words with such care they would get the desired result. But Vi has always been uniquely good at squirming past the games. She squirms past Caitlyn’s politicians tongue and curls somewhere deep in her chest. The places she’s been told never to truly let people in. But Vi curls there all the same, too far in to every truly be cast out. Even in those dark, awful moments when Caitlyn half wishes she could. When she tells herself it would be better if she could. 

“I knew this was your first time being alone in seven years,” she says softly, “just because we were apart didn’t mean I wanted you to suffer,” she looks down at their joined hands, “when I saw you were, I couldn’t just sit here.”

Vi tugs her fingertips into her palms and tangles their fingers together. She squeezes Cailtyn’s hands until she looks up to see Vi’s bright eyes looking at her. Vi says nothing but she drops her hands and folds her arms around Caitlyn. There’s something about Vi’s embrace that makes her body relax. It used to scare her. The guilt was cloying when Vi hugged her and she felt safe. What right did she have to feel safe when the world had just been destroyed? When they parted ways, one of the most cutting regrets she had was how quickly she ended their embraces. She can’t remember if she told Vi that or if she pieced it together, but now when Vi folds her into an embrace she always tangles a hand in something. Hair, her jacket, some layer so when Caitlyn pulls back there’s a tug that makes her pause. This time it’s her robe and Caitlyn feels her warm, calloused palm settle against her bare shoulder. 

“Thanks for getting me though it,” Vi says softly, lips close to her ear. 

Caitlyn presses her nose to the juncture of Vi’s shoulder and her neck. Vi smells like fresh soap and beeswax and lately her own conditioner. It’s rapidly becoming Caitlyn’s favorite smell in the world. She is stupidly grateful to breathe it in as another truth settles between them. Vi’s thumb rubs against her shoulder as Caitlyn sinks into her embrace. The nerves seem to escape her and she feels impossibly tired as Vi holds her. There’s a soft almost laugh as Vi shifts and slips her arms around her. It’s silly for it to feel so nice to be carried, but Caitlyn relaxes into the easy warmth of the embrace as Vi brings her back to bed. When she goes to pull back, Caitlyn catches her wrist. Vi smiles and slips into bed, wrapping her arms around her again. 

“So how many bottles did you throw?” Vi asks into her shoulder. 

“A lot,” Caitlyn replies, “why do you think the curtains changed color?”

Vi snorts softly against her skin. The notion of Caitlyn getting annoying and tossing around bottles of antiseptic as she tried to figure out how to care for Vi from afar without her realizing doesn’t seem to lessen how Vi feels about the gesture. If anything it makes her snuggle closer to Caitlyn. Her fingers undo the knot of her robe belt so she can be more comfortable before settling on her waist again. 

“Are you mad I didn’t tell you immediately?” Caitlyn asks into the darkness. Vi shakes her head against her neck, “why?"

“Are you mad I figured it out?” Vi asks. Caitlyn shakes her head in return. Vi pushes her hair back and brushes her lips against Caitlyn’s neck, “why would I be mad you saved my life?”

Caitlyn sighs. 

“When you put it like that I sound completely foolish,” she mutters. Vi smiles against her neck, “alight, fair point,” Caitlyn concedes, “I just wish I could have done more.”

“Come on, Cupcake,” she says, pulling her from the miserable thoughts with the nickname, “we both know it wasn’t that easy.”

They’ve played this out a million times before. What if they had emerged from that temple together somehow? What if Vi had been there when Ambessa made her declaration? Each route ends more bloody or sad than the last. War, death, imprisonment, heartbreak—a thousand gruesome fates. None of which end with them tangled in bed picking at wounds and nuzzling kisses over hurts. The best route Caitlyn can think of, the one Vi cajoles from her lips one terrible night, is Salo starting a war that leaves both of them dead. The one truth that seems to ring through is the separation saved both their lives. It’s a trade Vi makes without a second thought and only later does Caitlyn realize it’s because she’s done it before. Every night Caitlyn vows to do everything in her power to make sure she never has to make it again. 

“I’m glad it helped,” Caitlyn whispers, “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad we’re here,” Vi tells her. 

For tonight, that’s more than enough. 

[pepi1989]

The Matchmaker - Ben Shelton

I never thought the day I met Coco Gauff would lead me to the love of my life. Tennis was never really my thing, I was more of a “sit on the couch with snacks and watch” type of person. But my best friend, Coco, was a different story. She lived and breathed the game, and somehow, our worlds collided through that love of hers.

It all started when she dragged me to one of her matches. I’d been to a few before, always cheering loudly, pretending I knew what a “double fault” was. But this one was special. She had just turned 20, and it felt like she had the world at her feet.

After the match, Coco insisted I come backstage with her. “Come on, you’re practically family,” she said, throwing her arm around me as we navigated through the bustling crowd of fans and media.

As soon as we entered the players' lounge, I was hit with a wall of tennis players chatting, stretching, and looking far more relaxed than they had any right to be after hours of intense games. I tried to keep it cool, but my heart started racing when I realized that I was surrounded by some of the biggest names in tennis.

“Hey, I want you to meet someone,” Coco nudged me, grinning like she knew something I didn’t. Before I could ask who, a tall, strikingly handsome guy with messy, curly hair and the brightest smile I’d ever seen walked over. He was all golden skin, bright energy, and… well, completely out of my league.

“Ben!” Coco called, waving him over as if she hadn’t just won one of the biggest matches of the tournament. “This is Y/N, my best friend.”

“Hey, nice to meet you,” Ben said, his voice warm as he extended his hand. When our fingers touched, it felt like I’d stuck my hand in an electrical socket. I managed to stammer out a “hi” as Coco continued.

“She’s been to almost all my matches. Kind of like my personal cheerleader.”

“Sounds like you’re the real MVP here,” Ben said, flashing me that winning smile of his. Was it just me, or was he looking at me a little too intently? The air between us suddenly felt charged, and I wasn’t sure if I was imagining it.

The next hour was a blur of jokes, light teasing from Coco, and Ben being… well, perfect. He was funny, sharp, and made me laugh so hard my sides ached. When he left to catch up with his team, I gave Coco a look.

“Okay, what was that?” I asked, trying to sound casual but failing miserably.

She smirked, crossing her arms. “That was me introducing you to someone who might just be your perfect match.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, come on. You’re being ridiculous.”

“Am I? I saw the way you two looked at each other. And he never acts like that around anyone,” she teased, bumping my shoulder.

I shrugged it off, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Over the next few weeks, Coco invited me to a few more tournaments, and every time, Ben was there. We’d chat, laugh, and spend more time together, and soon, I found myself looking forward to seeing him more than the actual matches.

One evening after a particularly tough match for Ben, he found me alone in the players' lounge. Everyone else had gone, leaving just the two of us. I could tell he was frustrated, his forehead was creased, and he had that “I’m still replaying every mistake” look in his eyes.

“Rough day?” I asked softly as he sat beside me, running a hand through his curls.

“Yeah. I just couldn’t get in the zone. Everything felt off,” he muttered, his shoulders slumping.

I wasn’t sure what to say, so I just stayed quiet, offering him a soft smile. Eventually, he turned to me, his eyes softening.

“You know, I’ve been thinking…” he started, trailing off as he looked down at his hands.

I raised an eyebrow, urging him to continue.

“These past few weeks have been… different. Because of you.” His voice was quieter now, and I felt my heart start to race again, just like the first time we met.

“Oh?” I tried to play it cool, but my voice cracked slightly.

He chuckled at my attempt to stay calm, but then his expression grew serious. “You’ve become someone I really care about, Y/N. I… I don’t know how to explain it, but I’ve never felt this way before.”

My breath caught in my throat as I stared at him, trying to process his words.

“I feel the same way,” I whispered, and the smile that spread across his face was enough to light up the entire room.

Before I knew it, Ben had closed the distance between us, gently cupping my face in his hands. Our lips met in a soft, tentative kiss, and I felt every nerve in my body light up. It was gentle at first, like we were testing the waters, but soon, it deepened, and I felt like I was floating.

When we finally pulled apart, Ben rested his forehead against mine, both of us smiling like idiots.

“I guess Coco was right,” he murmured, his breath warm against my skin.

“About what?”

“That we’re perfect for each other.”

Since that day, everything changed. Coco loved to remind us that she’d basically played matchmaker, claiming full credit for our relationship. And honestly? I wasn’t going to argue with her.

Ben and I were inseparable. From late-night calls when he was on the road, to quiet mornings spent tangled up together on off-days, every moment with him felt like a dream. He was kind, thoughtful, and made me laugh in ways I never thought possible. And when he held me close, it was like the world outside didn’t exist.

One year after we officially got together, we found ourselves at another one of Coco’s tournaments. This time, I was more interested in Ben’s matches than ever before, cheering him on like my life depended on it. And every time he looked up at me from the court, my heart skipped a beat.

During a break, I spotted Coco grinning at us from across the court, raising her eyebrow in that knowing way. She walked over, giving me a tight hug.

“See? I told you I’m good at this matchmaking thing,” she said, winking.

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t hide the smile on my face. “Okay, okay. You were right.”

“Of course I was,” she said, flipping her hair dramatically.

I couldn’t help but laugh, feeling grateful for her, and for Ben. If it weren’t for that fateful introduction, I never would’ve met the person who made my world a little brighter every day.

I’ll forever be thankful to Coco for bringing Ben into my life.

[postcardsfromheapside]

So I finished my DA2 replay, and I had wondered if I would feel differently after taking my time with it, and with the perspective of Veilguard. And yes, in small ways I do, but about the series and about Anders, I don't. That is to say: I think Veilguard is a fucking fantastic capper to the series (I mean, pray there is more, "hope for the best, expect the worst" as the Mel Brooks song goes), and Anders is relatably angry, even if the "betrayal" is frustrating and heart-breaking.

Also, there's just too much Dragon Age just the same way there's too much Tolkien, it's just that I can relisten to Tolkien via audiobook while I work and don't have time to constantly replay Dragon Age to absorb every little detail that my broken brain forgets (and I'm pretty good with lore) and I wish parts of this fandom were more curious than scathing about things they've obviously forgotten. Or skipped through, according to some of them, because I guess the context of dialogue and a cut scene isn't necessary for some of them to weigh in on things.

Word vomit of notes below the break:

First of all.

Can these two just fuck already. Watching Cassandra go from throwing him around to absolutely ENTHRALLED by Varric's complete bullshit is just going to make it so much better when I hit the "Guilty Pleasures" quest again in DA:I. This woman is SEDUCED by his story-telling, and you *cannot* convince me he wasn't gagging on his power trip.

Second.

I never played Mark of the Assassin before, and had completely forgotten Felicia Day was in DA2, and laughed like hell. I really enjoyed it. I haven't really used a stealth option in a game since leaving Skyrim for other stuff (do we ever really leave Skyrim?) and it was really fun, but I think the wyvern at the end of the DLC was actually the best fight in the entire game, even more than Corypheus. It hinted at the dragon battles to come in Veilguard. Also, I loved how Anders' dialogue got more relaxed outside of Kirkwall, like shedding the city let him loosen up. The back and forth with Hawke about his fantasy for being rescued was completely unhinged - after I accused Hawke of being feral and lacking social graces, I've decided the two of them match each other's freak and they're fine.

Third.

All the people who were losing their minds about the line "A crow never abandons a contract" and acting like the devs forgot Zevran.

He literally addresses it in the game. I keep having these moments where shit that people bitched about regarding Veilguard is addressed right *there.*

"The crows do like saying that, but I am living proof it's a lie."

No one actually forgot, but I'm sure the Dellamorte's wish to the Maker a motherfucker could.

When people complain the writing in Veilguard is too modern, I'm going to remember Hawke complaining exactly like this. She sounds like I do when I'm side-eyeing my friends in the year of our Maker 2025.

Fourth.

I had planned on romancing Blackwall this DA:I run, finally, because I'm a little obsessed with this Warden throughline from Anders to Blackwall to Davrin. From a cage, to hope/redemption, to a more meaningful path of positive change and impact.

They both haunt Veilguard's narrative and dialogue.

And then of course:

hrm.

Fifth.

I do hope we get another DA. Or supplementary material. Because I want to know what the fuck is going on with this story I had forgotten the details of, especially with the decision regarding the Nadas Dirthalen.

These two fucking idiots. I can't believe in different lives I've schtupped them both. (I can absolutely believe it)

Sixth.

The worst part of Meredith is she sounds like conservative family members of mine. 'Better to punish the innocent than risk even one guilty person go free', rather than the opposite. To them it sounds so reasonable. To us, it's abhorrent to punish everyone else for other people's crimes.

I couldn't bring myself to feel betrayed by Anders, even though I tried to play my Hawke as I think she would have felt: betrayed by the secret-keeping, if nothing else. The shock and hurt at the innocent lives. But it's hard not to feel an understanding when I sit here in a political situation with - maybe not less fraught, but at least less fantastical - implications and certainly still feel like violence is inevitable and we are way past the point of compromise and words.

Anyway.

This dwarf.

[clonerightsagenda]

Since I'm w359posting this week apparently, I wanted to share something neat I learned from the AMAs about how the writers designed the characters.

Apparently, the original four crewmembers were plotted on two axes - human vs inhuman and order vs chaos. Eiffel and Minkowski were the chaos human and order human, and Hera and Hilbert were the chaos inhuman and order (metaphorical) inhuman. Lovelace upon her introduction was plotted at the dead center of both axes.

To really amp up everyone reflecting each other, when they started designing the SI5 characters, they took the original three humans' personalities and job titles and rotated them. So, they set up a commander, scientist, and technician, but gave the commander Hilbert's traits, the scientist Eiffel's traits, and the technician Minkowski's traits.

Obviously that was only a starting point, and all three characters grew into their own people very different from where they began. However, you can see traces of these influences. Least so with Jacobi, imo, but in the Rashomon episode where each person's account reflects their priorities and anxieties, he's striving to portray himself as a dedicated, safety-conscious professional frustrated that no one else takes his work seriously, which is something Minkowski can relate to. He's also Kepler's administrative officer, even if we don't see him doing paperwork very often.

Maxwell is clearer. She's the most friendly and social of her team and strikes up the closest connection with Hera. Also, as soon as she's gone, the rest of her team implodes, much as in "Pan Pan" the remaining crew is at each other's throats.

Finally, Kepler's alignment with Hilbert is obvious to me at least - they both are people with theoretically noble goals who are willing to do terrible things to achieve them, and Goddard takes advantage of that to get them to do terrible things full stop. Hilbert is just further along on the Goddard employee lifecycle of getting chewed up and discarded (he's had more of his legs eaten, to use the pig story's metaphor). They hate each other so much because they recognize each other.

... I am only thinking this now as I type it out, but I always wondered why Eiffel disliked Maxwell after only knowing her for a couple days, most of which he'd spent convalescing. I figured she was probably asking invasive questions about Hera, but if I'm suggesting Hilbert and Kepler hate each other because they recognize each other as card carrying members of the face-eating leopards party.... maybe Eiffel dislikes Maxwell because he sees something of himself in her.

[ilikekidsshows]

My current problem with the fandom stems from the sheer hypocrisy, especially surrounding their treatment of Marinette vs Adrien regarding salt and salt fics. With the former, despite her taking the side of her boyfriend's ab*ser and a literal terror*st while seeing her boyfriend as a literal object, she still gets excused for this constantly by the fandom, and people lament about all the difficulties she's taken on to 'protect' Adrien.

Meanwhile, Adrien, who just wanted Marinette to stop going mad over exposing Lila, is painted as a doormat and manipulator who doesn't care about Marinette even though he did try to talk to Lila about her actions and came to Marinette's defense when she was about to be expelled before working to get back into school.

It's just frustrating the blatant double standard, how people will bend over backward to excuse or make light of every one of Marinette's worst moments, but Adrien (and their class) get their lives destroyed in salt fics and treated worse than Marinette ever was in those stories. Meanwhile, Marinette is this poor, innocent angel without a wicked bone in her body when that's not really the case in-universe. She will sabotage other girls, has control issues, especially with regard to Adrien, and has used her friends for her own benefit occasionally, but none of these flaws are ever addressed by anyone. No, they're downplayed or nonexistent in favor of Saint Ladybug given everything she ever wanted handed to her on a silver platter while everyone else has to burn for joining Lila.

Honestly, I wish there was a story that had both Marinette and Adrien realizing they're just not right for each other and just going their separate ways to find themselves, without salting on anyone else.

---

Hard same. Like, it's so crazy that this show somehow manages to pit the fans of the different halves of its main couple against each other. It’s also clear it’s happening because they've managed to frame the relationship in a way where the other gaining something requires something to be taken away from the other. Their needs directly contradict each other because they don’t truly have any shared goals. It's so unhealthy.

Like, Marinette gets a boyfriend who caters to her every whim without her having to give anything back and only ever sets boundaries that benefit her, while Adrien loses the chance to grow out of his abuse reponses. Marinette gets the boy of her dreams she can only say she likes for being pretty and who she can’t talk to, while Adrien loses the chance to date a person who actually makes him feel loved. Marinette gets to be with the target of her obsession, while Adrien loses the chance to even choose a girl other than Marinette. Marinette gets to choose how everything in their relationship progresses, while Adrien loses the right to determine anything that happens in the relationship.

Any attempt at giving Adrien any of the healing, agency and boundaries any person should rightfully have in a relationship, requires us to strip away the benefits Marinette gets from this relationship. Adrien's gain would be Marinette's loss. That's why the “these two would both be better off if they just broke up” take is considered salt, in addition to the fact that Adrien is one of the two things Marinette wants the most. So, any suggestion of even a temporary breakup is met with: “You want to punish Marinette (by taking her prize away)! You just hate Marinette!”

The weird thing is that Marinette stans have been opposed to Adrien from almost the start. It could be they bought into Marinette's entitlement and resented Adrien for not just instantly giving Marinette the prize she deserved. Or it could be that, before he was beaten down into blind obedience, Adricat was one of Maribug's primary foils and would be the one to push back against her when she was doing something ill advised and Marinette stans grew to resent him for “bad advice” that just wasn't what they or Marinette wanted to hear. Adrien is hated for his roles in the story, the unattainable love interest and the person who questions the lead, so it's not something that could easily be changed and it seemed more unforgivable.

In contrast, the biggest problem with Maribug was always her refusal to see Adricat as a human being. Any way she treats them wrong can be traced back to this attitude. Adrien was a prize to be won, and Cat Noir was a fae creature emotional support dispenser. And yet, despite this far bigger problem, I never hated Marinette with the vitriol Marinette stans have always hated Adrien with, probably because Marinette's problems were small character details, they were things she could easily grow out of with some character development.

Ironically, Adrien's role in the story has now been changed, into doting boyfriend and team hype man, while Marinette dehumanizing Adrien has only gotten worse.

[annymation]

The Kingdom of Wishes- A “Wish” Rewrite

Chapter 9- Tangible Things

Chapter 8

Asha and Aster are walking through the kingdom of Rosas.

There's people everywhere, walking through the streets, all of them wearing the same style of medieval clothings with dull shades of blues, yellows and purples. The people of Rosas are all very diverse in ethnicities... But their cultures are not showcased at all through their clothing styles.

Asha walks through the sea of people wearing her mom's cloak, she's wearing the hoodie so her face is not visible.

Meanwhile, Aster is "wearing" his human disguise, looking like any average human teenager... If you ignore the uncommon combination of brown skin and blonde hair, as well as his black clothes with a looong cape that doesn't quite blend in with everyone else's clothing style.

... And the fact he's as happy as Ariel on her first tour with Eric through the kingdom. Or Rapunzel getting to know her kingdom for the first time, yeah, he has those same big eyes full of wonder.

If you ignore all that, yeah he's just a normal human, nothing to see here.

"Okay Aster, stay close to me. We're almost at the plaza..." She got no response "Aster?" She looks behind her shoulder

... Aaaaand Aster is nowhere to be seen.

Asha scrunches her eyebrows in frustration, she's gonna have to put a bell on that star.

Asha feels a slight dejavu feeling from that dream she had last night.

She scrunches her eyebrows in frustration, now contemplating putting a bell on that star "*sigh*... At least you know how to behave, huh Valentino?" she says to the baby goat walking next to her, Valentino is just happily wagging his tail.

She takes off the her hoodie for a moment to get a better view of her surroundings

"Now where could he be?" She sounds worried, looking around, but there's no sign of the star.

Asha just took her hoodie for a moment...

But just a moment was enough for two people to notice her...

She hears someone calling her name in the distance

"asha! asha-when I catch you asha! asha! when I catch you- it is on sight!! you are so-"

The voice is getting closer. Asha looks around at the sea of people walking, but she can't seem to find who's calling her, the girl voice gets louder:

"do you have any idea what lives iN THAT FOREST? YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO DIE BEING EATEN BY WOLVES! YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL!!!"

A second voice joins in, male this time

"DAHLIA! WAIT UP *huff huff* I can't run that fast!"

Asha turns around and... Yup, it's Dahlia and Simon.

Despite the fact that Dahlia walks with a crutch she's moving way faster than him, that's not even to emphasize how slow Simon is, no, Dahlia just so happens to run really fast in general.

They finally reach the girl wearing the purple cloak, and she seems preeetty nervous about having to explain the whole situation

"Oh- hehe hey guys" Asha waves to her friends awkwardly

Dahlia was having none of that "OHOHO Don't "Hey guys" me! Where were you last night?? My mom was worried sick"

"We woke up early to go looking for you, we were just on our way to get the others" Simon said while trying to catch his breath

"I'm fine, really. I just needed a take a walk you know? Get some air, and then I slept in my old home." She tries her best to calm them down "Dahlia, you didn't have to organize a search party for me, I can take care of myself." She tells her best friend.

"Actually, it was Simon's idea, he's the one who went to wake me up"

That surprised Asha

"... Simon... Woke up early?"

"That's how worried I was" He said with his usual monotonous voice "And... I wanted to apologize, last night I accidentally-... I assumed that you were crying because of something YOU did, without knowing the whole story, I shouldn't have pressured you to tell us like that... I'm sorry"

(Aww Simon is so nice... I sure hope he never does anything lame or stupid or uncool to his friends, that would be so sad.)

Asha kinda needed that apology, she gives him a warm smile

"Thanks for saying that Simon, it means a lot. And sorry for stepping on your foot... And running away." She places a hand on the back of her neck as she says that.

"Honestly, if I found out that the king wouldn't ever grant my wish, I'd feel really awful too" Simon, ironically, is the one who comments this

Asha remembers... Oh yeah she mentioned that to them.

"Yeah speaking of which... What is up with that?!" Dahlia exclaims, looking outraged "I mean, they put you on the spot, call you to come in their house, get your wish, and then they just say "Oh actually noooo, we won't grant your wish" HUH?! That's not fair at all." She rants with her arms crossed

Asha is just kinda nodding in agreement, like, what really happened was waaaay worse than that but yeah Dahlia got the spirit.

Simon doesn't seem to relate with her frustration though.

"Did they tell you why they weren't gonna grant your wish?" Simon asks.

Asha analyses the situation... She could tell them the truth, she could tell them everything she has seen... But then again, if she tells them, they might be in danger... She told Aster that she wanted to plan this out before acting, involving her friends is a big risk, so for now... She would have to lie.

"They... They just said they couldn't do it, nothing else happened, really" She said, trying her best to sound honest but kinda failing, her friends didn't seem to notice though.

"... Seriously? They didn't even say why?" Dahlia is dumbfounded.

"... Now I understand why you were crying..." Simon sounds really sad for his friend "But even still, you shouldn't have gone to the woods all by yourself-"

"Who said she was by herself?"

Simon and Dahlia jump in surprise because of the unknown cheerful voice coming from behind them

They turn around and see Aster... holding a bouquet of purple flowers.

Asha can feel a drop of sweat running down her forehead... This might be way harder to explain.

"Aster where were y-" Asha is about to lecture the star, but she is stopped when he shows her the flowers he got by holding them right in front of her face.

"Asha look! These flowers are called "Aster" just like me! and they're your favorite color too!"

(Hahaah told y’all I’d reference these flowers!)

Aster hands her the bouquet, but in a way that her face is covered by the flowers for a second before she manages to hold it by herself

"O-OH Yeah I can see that... thanks Aster, they're really pretty heh heh" She says nervously, as she notice her two friends staring at Aster and then staring back at her.

"Uuuh so I take it your name's "Aster"?" Simon asks, looking at the boy from head to toe.

Aster turns around to greet them

"That's me! So nice to meet you two!"

Aster gives Dahlia a handshake...

And we take a look on what he sees

Now you see, Aster can naturally take a peek on what's someone's wants and beliefs, but when he touches someone... They can see something even more special.

He sees that person's star, their center, what makes them who they are.

When Aster touches Dahlia's hand, we see how her star looks like.

It's bright, red, and full of determination to achieve whatever she sets her mind to...

If confidence was a tangible thing, it would be Dahlia.

from the other's point of view, Aster is just shaking her hand quickly and very happily.

"Oh- Hehe I'm Dahlia."

Aster then goes on to shake Simon's hand and...

Aster's smile disappears...

Simon's star is still there but it's... weak, flickering away like a flame that is about to go out at any second

Aster feels a pain in their chest...

If hopelessness was a tangible thing, it would be Simon.

Aster let's go of the young man's hand, his eyes are downcast and he's frowning like he's about to cry.

He looks up to Simon and just says "I'm so sorry"

...

So needles to say our boy Simon is terrified thinking this weird kid Asha found in the woods predicts he's gonna die in 7 days or something.

(That’s it, that’s the face he's making. lmao.)

Simon gives Asha a panicked look, and she seems just as confused as him.

"Hey Aster?" Asha calls his attention placing a hand on his shoulder, the star turns to her curious "Did you uh- Pay for these flowers?"

Aster tilts his head to the side "What's pay?"

("At All Cost" ruined me, because every time I re-read this line my mind goes "What's pay? When I look at you no way-" and that's so funny to me)

Simon who happens to be the son of a cop the captain of the royal guard becomes even more suspicious of Aster, knowing this guy just STOLE something and then played innocent.

Asha just smiles at that comment and patiently explains to him "Okay, now you gotta put these back where you found them, can you do that please?"

Aster's smile returns as if it never left "Got it! I'll be back in a sec!"

Aster runs with an almost inhuman speed, leaving the three friends in an awkward silence

Simon breaks that silence.

"… Where did you find that guy?"

"And where can I find one for myself?" Dahlia asks as she watches Aster run off.

Simon: "What?"

Dahlia: "What?!"

This time, Asha kinda gives them a half truth

"Well... Let's just say Aster was at the right place at the right time... And he helped me feel better" That's technically true.

Simon looks very dissatisfied with that answer though

"... So you spent the night with a stranger in the woods?"

"Not a stranger though!" Aster pops out of nowhere behind Simon,

"OH GOSH-" Simon almost has a heart attack,

Asha realizes the longer Aster keeps talking with other people the more suspicious they'll seem, so she just grabs him by the arm

"Great talking to you two but we reeeeally gotta get going. So tell the others I'm fine, we'll be at the main plaza if you need me!" She says already running while dragging Aster with her.

The star boy is just happily waving them goodbye as he's dragged away by the arm. "Bye Dahlia! Bye Simon!" he exclaimed excitedly

"... Soooo how much do you wanna bet she actually just wished for a boyfriend?" Dahlia asks

(Dahlia is a self insert of me at this point, her lines are what I'd say in this situation)

Simon kinda ignores Dahlia's comment as he realizes something odd "Wait ... I never told him my name, how did he know I'm "Simon"?"

We cut to Asha and Aster in an alley.

“Okay, we need to talk" Asha begins, looking at the star boy seriously "If we're really gonna do this, we gotta establish some ground rules."

"Sure! We stars are all about rules!" The star says, sitting on some barrels while kicking his feet.

She begins listing the rules:

"So rule number 1: You can't run off without me, you gotta stay close to me at all times."

"Done!"

"Rule number 2: You gotta act as HUMAN as you can, that means do what I do, and use NO magic at all."

"Oh you don't have to tell me twice, that's a rule I already HAVE to follow as a wishing star anyway"

"And rule number 3: ..." She stops to think for a moment "Umm... I feel like there should be a third rule but I don't know what"

"I know! Rule number 3:... LETS HAVE FUN!" Aster exclaims with a beaming smile as he holds her hand and walks with her out the alley "You don't need to worry about a thing! I'll stay with you at all times. All you gotta do is focus on inspiring everyone with your music!"

Asha looks at the mandolin in her hand. She's honestly not sure if she'll be able to make any difference... But if she can make at least a few people consider getting their wishes back so they can grant it by themselves... Then it'll be worth it, because then they can start something.

She feels her hope returning, as a confident smile grows on her lips and a fire burns in her eyes.

"Yeah, and I know just the song for it!" She starts running faster, and soon she's the one who's in front, dragging Aster by the hand...

Aster can see Asha's star, and he looks at it with eyes full of what can only be described as disbelief and a passionate admiration.

Her wish was taken from her, just like Simon's, but Asha was different.

Unlike Simon, her light refused to burn down, her old wish was replaced by a new one, that shined just as brightly.

A star that wants to shine upon others and give them joy, guidance, something to believe in... To Aster, her glow was the most beautiful one of all... And when he looked at it he felt...

Actually, he couldn't describe it... It's still a feeling he can't put into words.

So for now, he doesn't know what tangible emotion Asha is.

But he'll probably find out eventually.

They both reach the plaza. There's a water fountain at the center of it, a few people are walking around and talking, but there's not much of a crowd.

Asha takes the mandolin and starts singing a song... Based on a poem her father wrote:

A Wish Worth Keeping

[Verse 1] Take it from someone like me When your hopes are in despair If your desires have strings Free them, give them some air

[Chorus] 'Cause any wish that's got your heart On the edge of breaking Is a wish worth keeping

[Verse 2] Yeah, everybody dreams To be something someday somewhere Even kings and queens Daydream to be free from their royal chairs

[Refrain] Well, any dream that's got your heart Even when you're not sleeping Is a drеam worth dreaming

[Bridge] Yeah, we all start as wildlings Playing in thе sun Then we grow up with wild dreams Just waiting for our day to come

[Verse 3] So if hope schemes against time

Tell them, "be nice, play fair" Yeah, they may kick and cry, yeah But just show them they're better when paired

[Refrain] 'Cause if they both can hold your heart There's no way you're not sowing A dream that will never stop growing

[Chorus] Yeah, any wish that's got your heart On the edge of breaking Is a wish worth keeping...

It's a poem her father wrote to encourage people to not give their wishes to Magnifico, but instead keep their wishes and fight for what they dream of. In this moment, she's playing her grandfather's mandolin, while wearing her mother's cloak and singing a poem her father wrote, it's like they're all there with her.

Asha sings in a more festive rhythm than the original "Wish Worth Making" from the Wish soundtrack, it's a song that makes people want to join in and dance with Aster, who's bringing in people around the plaza to join in.

And among these people there's also Asha's friends, they seem happy for her but also confused. Since when did Asha play the mandolin? And who on earth is that guy with her?

As Asha plays, she and Aster share a little duet in the third verse of the song, as if Aster also knows the poem too. Asha looks at the star dancing with such energy, doing literal backflips, twirls, jumping all over the place, bringing in people to dance with him and just being himself like no one's watching.

And for the first time, she actually feels her heart bumping faster by looking at the star, and not because they're a literal star or because he scared her by popping out of nowhere... but because he's himself.

(Yup, that's when she fell)

Everything is going well, Aster can even see the stars inside some of the people in the crowd shining brighter...

It's actually working.

Some of the younger people are actually considering not giving away their wishes, and others feel like maybe going after new wishes by themselves.

Aster moves with even more energy now... His eyes are closed.

Asha also has her eyes closed, lost in the moment as she plays the song.

The sky is full of thick grey clouds, the sun was nowhere to be seen.

If only Aster's new friend Sunny could've warned him who was coming.

Aster is spinning around quickly with his eyes closed and-

"OUCH!"

Aster bumps on someone and falls on the floor.

Asha hear's him falling and opens her eyes, she looks up to see who he bumped into...

She instantly stops playing.

Her face is horrified, and she quickly covers herself more in her mother's cloak.

Valentino who was hopping around also sees who it is and hides behind Asha's legs.

Aster is just laughing on the floor, still high on the adrenaline, their eyes are still closed as he laughs so he still hasn't seen who's right in front of him...

But he can tell that he just bumped on a man taller than him.

"Hahahaha sorry sir, I wasn't looking at where I wa-" Aster looks up...

Oh no.

“No problem at all, little one. Are you alright?”

The king and the queen are standing right in front of Aster.

It’s quite unusual to see them just out and about in a normal day, so the few people around start mumbling among each other.

… Aster doesn’t have a heart but somehow he could feel something in their chest sink as he looked up at the two monarchs…

He could see what they wanted, but to be honest the magic in his eyes wasn’t even necessary for him to see it, they looked down on him with the eyes of two hyenas staring at their next meal.

They wanted him... They knew what Aster was.

The star is just looking up to them with wide eyes like a deer in headlights.

“Here, let me help you.” Magnifico extended his hand to help them get up.

Aster knew very well what would happen in he touched that hand, and he was not looking forward to see what the king was like on the inside…

But then again, he promised Asha he’d act like a human, and most humans in Rosas would gladly shake the king’s hand, right?

So… Aster reached out for it, and once he touched it...

Aster had to hold in a gasp.

…

That is NOT a star.

See, Aster actually had heard from the other stars that there are many different kinds of people on earth.

There are those who are stars. Those who shine upon others by inspiring them, and make their own glow through their own actions. Like Asha.

There are those who lost their spark, those who no longer have hope or dreams to follow, they’re fading stars. Like Simon.

And then.

There are black holes.

Do you know how a black hole is formed?

They’re formed when a star dies.

Black holes have a gravitational pull that sucks in all the light around them, leaving nothing behind.

And in Aster’s eyes, Magnifico was a black hole.

Stealing away the light of all the stars around him.

Aster had heard that people who become black holes were very hurt in their lives, and thus their star died completely.

But Aster knew better... Magnifico choose to be this way, and he loves it.

He loves to pull others in only to steal their light away...

Aster felt disgusted.

... If selfishness was a tangible thing, it would be Magnus.

As the king pulls him up Aster's is glaring at him, no longer looking scared...

He's angry.

His brow furrowed, his pupils shrunk and his jaw was clenched. He was almost shaking.

It was like he was holding himself to not just jump on this man and punch him.

... Magnifico is content with this reaction.

From what he read, he knew that stars had "Eyes that see the truth", so Magnifico knew that the star could see who he really was.

With that in mind, his grip tightened on Aster's hand.

"Are you hurt at all, lad? You seem to be in pain or something." The king asks referring to the scowl on Aster's face, in a tone that for everyone else watching may sound like concern, but both Aster and the king know it's a mockery.

Aster actually didn't even realize he was scowling, he's just not used to hiding his emotions... But it surely not a "Normal human behavior" to glare at the KING after he just helped you up, is it?

So Aster takes a deep breath and... Smiles.

"I'm quite alright your majesty, just felt a bit dizzy from all the dancing hahaha" He laughs to himself.

Aster may not be the best liar but he is a surprisingly good actor.

"Ah I see." The king says as he let go of Aster's hand, he's now looking down on the young star with a friendly smile "And what a dance that was indeed. Why, we saw you two from our window and we just HAD to take a closer look."

Aster felt a stab of guilt... It's his fault for bringing too much attention.

"I don't think we've met this little rose in our garden before." The queen chimes in sweetly, reaching her hand to caress Aster's face "What's your name, my flower?"

Aster quickly takes a step back, escaping the queen's touch as if he's dodging a bullet.

"Ah- I- My name's Aster!" They stutter, the star really didn't want to be touched by this lady, who knows what he'd see inside HER soul.

Aster tries his best to pull it together, the star knows what to do, he has watched from above how people act around the royal couple. So all he had to do was mimic that behavior.

The young star bows down with one hand on his chest

"I'm humbled that our performance has caught your majesty’s attention. It's a great honor to meet your graces in person." The blonde spoke so eloquently no one could ever guess he's screaming internally.

The king and queen seemed pleased as they exchanged a quick glance to one another... This was going to be fun.

"What an eccentric partner you've got here, Asha" Magnifico says with a calm voice, now looking at the girl sitting by the water fountain, trying her best to hide her face with the hood of her mother's cloak...

… They recognized her? How?

"Aww and how lovely, you're wearing Sakina's cloak aren't you? It fits you so perfectly." The queen said, answering her question as if she could read Asha's thoughts.

Oh yeah... She forgot they knew her parents...

Asha gets up and takes off the hood, trying to act natural like Aster did.

"Thank you, your highness... I didn't expect we'd meet again so soon" she HOPED they wouldn't meet again so soon.

"What a nice surprise though, isn't it?" The king says casually "But speaking of last night... You've never mentioned you played any instruments Asha, I thought your only interest was drawing."

"I-I just didn't see any reason to comment, I'm still practicing is all" She says holding the mandolin close to her

The king chuckles at that "Now now don't be so modest my dear, you played so beautifully it almost seemed like..." he turns his gaze to Aster as he finishes with a knowing smile "Magic."

And with that, Asha realized what Aster already knew since the moment he saw the couple... They knew.

Somehow, they know Aster is a star.

The two teens are thinking the same thing, they gotta run.

Aster begins to walk backwards towards Asha as he says in a not so subtle nervous voice

"Aaaanyway, thank you so much for coming but I'm afraid there'll be no encore, we gotta take a break and-and it looks like it's gonna rain so-"

"Aw leaving so soon?" The king interrupts with a sad tone "We've got a bit of a crowd here. I believe this is as good a time as any for me to share two VERY important announcements... You both should stay and listen, I think they might be of interest to you." He says walking closer to them, to which Aster grabs Asha's hand and they both start moving away.

"O-oh sure the crowd is all yours. We're just REALLY in a hurry." Aster says while still walking backwards, keeping eye contact with the king with a forced smile.

"Hmm" The king hums while tilting his head to the side "Very well then, I'm sure the news will catch up to you two... Sooner than you think." He whisper that last sentence while looking at Asha with that same knowing smile.

And on that note, Aster and Asha just run out of there, leaving some very confused citizens staring at them. Including Asha's friends.

Magnifico follows them with his eyes with a confident and relaxed gaze... He can grab them later, now, it's time to set the stage.

"ALRIGHT! My people, please gather around!" The king says as he hits his staff on the ground teleporting him and the queen to the top of a stage in the plaza.

(Let’s say the stage looks like this… Disneyland stage… But I’ll not be counting this as a reference because that’s kinda reaching at this point.)

More people around the plaza come closer to see what this is all about.

Meanwhile Asha and Aster hide in a alley to hear what the king has to say.

The king begins loud and clear

"Now, I know you are all wondering about that little light last night-"

The crowd cheers, assuming the light was a gift from the king.

"... A light I did not command nor condone." He corrects their assumption

The smiles on his people's faces deflated

"As a matter of fact, that light wasn't even from this world... It was a THREAT from beyond our skies." Magnifico explains with a serious gaze as he summons a book with his staff, the book floats next to him as the pages flip.

"A threat that my family has dreaded for generations. A being that comes down to earth and consumes all the hope, joy and love they can find..." The book stops on a page showing the illustration of a wishing star individual, with golden hair. The drawing seem to have been altered though, to make the entity look more ominous.

"A fallen star. This VILE creature is hiding among us. They can take a human form, gain your trust, make you feel all happy and warm inside even, BUT DON'T BE FOOLED!" The king exclaims warningly as he shuts the book "They're after ONE thing... Your wishes." He says menacingly, pointing at the top of the castle in the distance.

All the citizens look horrified, mumbling among each other, fearing for their wishes and themselves.

Among the crowd there's Asha's friend, they're all scared but Simon seems specially concerned.

The king lets the fear sink in for a few seconds before he switches back to his upbeat friendly king persona.

"BUT HEEEEY! Relax! No need to panic ladies and gentleman. As always, you can trust in me to keep you, and your wishes, safe and sound. This star may be powerful, yes, but their magic is no match for me!" He illustrates his point by creating a light show with his staff, creating fireworks and briefly a dragon made of green magic.

The crowd cheers and claps, trusting Magnifico wholeheartedly.

Aster and Asha are just watching all this play out, hiding away in a nearby alley.

Aster is going through a lot of emotions, scared of what might happen if the king does capture him, angry at himself for not keeping an eye out like he promised he would, and sad that all those people just took everything the king said as gospel.

His animation (That is now 3D, but with a different frame rate depending on how he feels) becomes more laggy and jumpy, like he's not in control of his own body movements as he speaks.

"I didn't think he'd know what a wishing star IS. Had I known this was a possibility I would've NEVER suggested for us to get exposed like that... I'm sorry Asha" They apologize for something he couldn't have predicted.

"It's not your fault." Asha reassure him holding his hand "...But when we were playing, did you see if anyone changed their minds?" She asks curious.

"... Yeah, actually... I could see some sparks of hope! I could tell some people considered granting their wishes by themselves..." He says, calming down a little, his animation going back to somewhat normal.

Asha felt relieved by that, at least they did a little bit of a difference...

But that wasn't enough, they had to actually MAKE a difference, and the only way of doing that was by showing everyone the truth, and proving what was happening with their wishes, if only Asha could show them-

Wait... The king and queen... They're not in the castle right now...

Asha has an idea.

She holds Aster's hand tightly and starts walking out the alley, going through the plaza.

King Magnifico and Amaya are still there, he's answering a few questions about the glow and what people should do.

He follows the two of them with his eyes for a moment.

"Woah- hey I thought we were gonna run away from here." He says quietly to her, trying to keep up the pace.

"No. Come with me.” Asha starts running, pulling Aster with her.

They’re running towards the castle.

“O-okay so what's the plan now?”

“I'm tired of running away from them." Asha says determined

"Huh?"

She points at the castle.

"My wish, and the wishes of dozens of people in Rosas are in there. We can sneak in while those two are outside, then we can grab my wish and as many others as we can." Her eyes have a burning passion as she runs with Aster just in toe holding her hand.

"... Wait, but isn't that pretty much my first plan from yesterday? What changed?"

"What changed is that Magnifico and Amable aren't in the castle..." She thinks for a moment, then she looks back to Aster and gives him a thankful smile "And also, you've shown me that I CAN inspire people, I CAN show them the truth, we can do this together!"

Aster's eyes sparkle in awe when he sees her face.

She continues, now looking at the castle with no doubts left in her "We can even grab some wishes that they changed and show to their owners, to use as proof of what the king and queen are doing!"

Aster can see Asha's star shinning even brighter than before, a huge smile grows on his face.

"That's brilliant!" Aster lets go of her hand and starts running faster than her “Then let’s go! Last one there is a dusty nebula!”

The two are now racing to the castle, with Aster running considerably faster than Asha.

Both hopeful that they'll succeed.

...

They're far, but the king can still see them in the distance. He smiles.

It's adorable how she thinks she can actually change anything.

Asha and Aster don't hear as the king says to his people:

“Now… My second announcement is about this veeeery special wish that I’ve received last night...” he says with a smirk.

He summons a green orb in his hands.

He holds it, in a way that no one can see what's inside the wish yet.

"My dear people, as you all know, nothing in this life brings me more joy than making ALL your wishes come true- Well, that is aside from my beloved queen." He says giving the queen a passionate glance and kissing her hand.

"Oh you!" She giggles.

"However, yesterday something quite... Unfortunate happened, and I had to do something I swore I'd never do... I denied granting a wish." Some citizens gasp in surprise, thinking someone must have wished for something really bad

Asha's friends look surprised at that, they already suspect whose wish this is.

"I know, I know, shocking, yes. It was a wish that just- Well-Surprised us, really, I wasn't sure if I could allow it..." He looks down on the wish with a introspective gaze "But after putting some thought into it, I realized: Isn't this kingdom all about dreams coming true? No matter how outlandish they may seem? Well I say YES. That's what MY Rosas is all about!" The king announces passionately.

"So we decided to do something new... For the first time in my reign... We're getting a PUBLIC WISH GRANTING CEREMONY!" He exclaims. This is a big deal, Magnifico never granted a wish in front of people, only at night while they sleep.

The green gem in his staff glows…

Creating a huge hand made of green magic.

“I’ll just grab our lucky winner real quick, so we may get started.” The king says wearing a huge grin.

His predatory eyes are fixated on Asha running after Aster in the distance.

...

Aster was right about one thing.

It does look like it's gonna rain.

Chapter 10

Final Thoughts

... Soooooo yeah hahaha, we're getting to some INTENSE stuff in the next chapter, buckle up.

But about THIS chapter though, those sure were some good vibes at the beginning, huh? Aster getting to see the kingdom, giving Asha flowers, they promise to stay togetheeeer, and then they sing and daaaance and then Magnifico shows up and the good vibes are gone.

Like... I'm really proud of my work with him as a villain, like, if you're writing a character and YOU dread getting to the scenes that he shows up, you KNOW you're doing something right... I think, you tell me, how did you feel when he popped up?

I'm REALLY proud of how this chapter turned out in general. The idea of Aster seeing humans as tangible emotions just HIT ME one time when I was listening to "At All Cost" for the 1000000th time, and it just fitted perfectly with everything.

Shout out to @gracebethartacc I made Magnifico call Aster “little one” in your honor… And he’ll do it often.

Oh and one more thing, you may have noticed I'm implying that it's gonna rain... Yeah I'll just say one thing about that:

[lurkingshan]

Theory of Love Episode 5: 10 Things I Hate About You

We have hit a stretch of actually good movies, and I'm so grateful. This week we got to revisit one of my old favorites, a gem of the modern Shakespeare adaption pantheon: 10 Things I Hate About You. Here's the plot, in brief:

Cameron transfers to a new high school and instantly falls for Bianca, a girl whose father notoriously won't let her date and has just set a new rule: she can only start dating when her older sister Kat does. Kat is known as "difficult" and anti-social, so Cameron and his buddy cook up a scheme to recruit resident "bad boy" Patrick to date her, using the asshole popular guy Joey as a stooge to pay him. Patrick falls for Kat for real in the course of this scheme, Kat eventually finds out he lied to her, and things blow up before we cut to the happy resolution.

It was fun to revisit this movie, which has a really solid narrative underpinning its many hilarious lines (shoutout to the Bard). It holds up pretty well, minus some trappings of the era that led to the inevitable casual ableism and homophobia, and it was a real pleasure to see Heath Ledger on my screen again. The main problem with this film is that the resolution comes too easily: after only one minor argument when Kat uncovers the Big Lie, she has a breakdown and forgives Patrick for tricking her without making him suffer at all, and the other dudes who were involved in deceiving her don't even acknowledge their part in it, let alone atone. Unsatisfying!

Re-watching Theory of Love, I wonder if the creators felt the same way about the lack of real atonement and growth on Patrick's part, because boy are they going to make damn sure Khai pays for every mistake he makes in this first half of the story. That begins this week with Third distancing himself from Khai in the wake of learning about the scheme Khai and Bone ran on him to test his feelings. But of course, Khai doesn't know Third overheard him and Third won't tell him why he's mad, so the two of them circle each other in this episode getting increasingly frustrated as they fail to communicate and Third tries and fails to go back to treating Khai like a friend.

Because Third is still very hurt and angry, and he can't suppress it or stop himself from lashing out at Khai. He starts off this episode with a very literal task taken from the title of this week's film by making a list of Khai's flaws to try to talk himself out of liking him (he seems to have missed that Kat's poem is not actually about Patrick's flaws, but the opposite--one thing I've learned from this project is that Third is pretty bad at media analysis). Third continues to hold Khai to a totally different standard than everyone else--notice he excuses Bone's own involvement in the scheme that hurt him while holding a firm grudge against Khai and refusing to tell him what he's upset about--so Third overreacts to Khai bringing a date around and acts like a bitch, and Khai doesn't understand why Third is acting this way so he's an even bigger bitch in return. Their fighting in this episode is painful to watch. No one can cut you quite like the person who knows you best.

Khai can't possibly give Third what he wants until Third tells him, but Third is unwilling to talk to him about it. Not that I can really blame Third for that, because Khai is not ready to receive a love confession from his best friend. The whole reason they got into this latest mess is because Khai was determined to prove Third doesn't like him that way. He wants to keep him as his best friend, and the idea that Third might want something different is not welcome. We saw Khai's hurt in this episode when Third suddenly started treating him differently without explaining, we saw him get upset when Third blew up at him for "whoring around" and return his nasty energy, and we saw him regret and go to Third to apologize the next day, because he cares about this friendship. I thought it was interesting that in their fight this episode Khai told Third he's not his "wife." Part of Khai knows exactly what's going on here, and he is not yet ready to admit it to himself. Third doesn't want to be his friend, and that's the heart of the issue.

[chocolateisbrainfood]

Okay so I've talked about this before, in a kind of frustrated rant, but instead I'm gonna talk about it more in a positive, thematic way. Today I'm rambling on why I think the Starscream Arc is tragically funny but also WORKS with the themes of the show that are happening in the first two seasons.

SEASON 1

So I think how much Starscream dislikes GHOST (humans) and the Autobots for aiding GHOST in imprisoning himself (and other Decepticons) was pretty obvious from the get go.

This I think is not given enough weight when considering things that happen later, but for me I think it's an important factor for everything that comes. Starscream puts himself and Decepticons first and foremost over everyone else. But he's also willing to sacrifice or leave behind other Cons to save himself, like he does with Swindle and Soundwave in the tunnels.

Bro did not think twice about leaving their asses to save himself. This shows us that Starscream is a very selfish person who is out for himself. He is a Decepticon but if he has to pick between the Cons and himself, he's picking himself every time.

We see he's an asshole to people. Even those on his side. Even those who are technically his subordinates. Only to agree to work with the Terrans to try and get out of the tunnels and away from the Dweller, but he's still being an asshole. We literally see him kicking at someone under his authority and shouting at them. He's not innocent, he is being a shit.

And this is the interesting thing here that I think people overlook but I found really like...nuanced. Optimus is careful in how he talks about the relationship between Megatron and Starscream. Not because Megatron is wrong, but because Optimus is VALIDATING Megatron's feelings about the situation, but also recognizes Megatron isn't exactly impartial because of those valid feelings. If he didn't think Megatron was right in some way about Starscream being a true threat, he never would have let him go after him. He never would have let Megatron go at all. But he did, because he trusts Megatron and believes him about the kind of threat Starscream is.

Never once is it shown this is wrong of Optimus. Because Megatron isn't wrong. His experience with Starscream is not wrong. It is different.

Two people's experiences and feelings can be VALID while having very different interpretations of how they interacted with each other. Neither is wrong, they just took different things away from it.

So here you have Optimus validating Megatron's feelings of concern and unease and desire to go after Starscream because to Megatron STARSCREAM IS A TRUE THREAT. He has reasons to believe it to be so and Optimus believes that to be valid. I mean, Optimus also has experiences with Starscream being a terrible person and all the ways he can be a threat, I'm sure, but we're putting that to the side because it's not really as relevant to the fact he is validating and supporting Megatron in this moment even while encouraging him to temper himself and not get carried away.

Then you have the moment where Twitch tells the Seeker Twins they should go to Megatron and serve under him because he's much nicer than Starscream (who she only knows from stories and comic books and watching him treat said Twins like shit so biased yes) and wouldn't abandon them. Starscream scoffs and calls her out for not knowing the True Megatron, who did indeed abandon the Cons in his view. She doesn't know what Megatron is truly capable of.

"The ruthless tyrant who ruled over us with fear and intimidation."

And he's right. She doesn't know that Megatron, despite the fact MEGATRON HAS IN FACT TRIED TO TELL HER. Megatron has not hidden that part of his life. He's not hidden any of the stuff he's done. He's still even kind of proud of some of it at points (if you consider his advice to Bee all the way back in Episode 3 about how he used to keep his troops in line.) Megatron is very upfront with people and the Malto-kids about things he's done and how his past is filled with bad choices, violence, and misguided beliefs he was always in the right. Twitch just kind of idealizes Megatron because to her, the fact he isn't that way anymore and acknowledges it is even more proof of what a good person he is, despite like...Megatron trying to be more open and nuanced and self-aware about all of it. This is Twitch's biases coming out, just as much as it's Starscream's.

HE LITERALLY HAS IT OUT WITH HASHTAG ABOUT HIS BEHAVIOR.

I think it's very important that Hashtag calls him out, because he's rude, cruel, demanding, and trying to assert his dominance over her, all by abandoning everyone else (because Starscream is a selfish person) and she is immediately like "Is this how Megatron treated to you?"

This hits Starscream because like...damn. Someone believes him that Megatron is/was a shitty person. Someone believes him that Megatron HURT him.

Because that is what Hashtag validates. Hashtag validates that Megatron HURT Starscream. That his actions and behaviors toward Starscream were hurtful and Starscream is valid to feel that way. She is validating his experiences instead of dismissing them.

But she also literally told him he was acting in the same way and treating people like shit right beforehand, so can we point out how she is saying "You have been hurt, but you are also hurting others."

This is very important I think for Starscream's arc in Earthspark and how things change with him as the show goes on. Because I think what happens here is a parallel to what Megatron told us about his relationship with Dot Malto. How they met, and how it literally changed Megatron's life.

And I think we are meant to see in how the show goes on that this parallel has a very different conclusion for Megatron versus Starscream.

So yeah, you have Hashtag saving Starscream, calling him out on being shitty, and validating his feelings that he was hurt by Megatron (I could also go on about how Hashtag validates him and yet still doesn't get to voice her own trauma as it gets cut off and it's kind of fucked up that she never gets to do so with anyone and how that makes me feel, but it is a rant essay for another time). And Hashtag says a very interesting line.

"When bad things happen, it isn't always your fault."

THAT IS VERY SPECIFIC WORDING.

The words are not "Bad things that happen to you are never your fault." This isn't "It's not your fault when bad things happen."

Not it's "It isn't ALWAYS your fault."

Which the implied conclusion to this is "but sometimes bad things that happen ARE your fault." And ya know what, that is basically the entire set up of S2 but we'll get there in a second.

But also we should keep something else in mind because there is CONTEXT to this that is understood even more when you know G1. And in G1, which Earthspark is quasi-based on (wherein the G1 we know is a fictionalized version in the comic books that exist in ES canon and loosely has something to do with how things went down canonically in the show), Megatron has a really bad habit of blaming Starscream for EVERYTHING. Like any time a plan fails, it is somehow Starscream's fault.

Now...sometimes it totally was Starscream's fault. EVEN IN EPISODE 1 OF THE ORIGINAL CARTOON. Skywarp the utter loyal ace that he is, gets awakened by Teletraan I and then brings Megatron to get fixed up. The Cons get fixed by Teletraan 1 through this process and reformatted for Earth. Megatron leads them away, but Starscream stops to SHOOT THE FUCKING SHIP AND LAUGH even after Megatron tells him to stop. And this is what causes a rock fall which knocks Optimus's offline frame right into the line of Teletraan I's beam and gets him fixed/reformatted. Thus all the Autobots end up saved and awakened as well. Had Starscream not pulled that stupid shit, or even just STOPPED WHEN MEGATRON SAID TO, the Autobots would have remained offline. (This is the same episode where Starscream keeps insisting he'll be leader one day and Rumble verbally roasts him. Rumble: Legend.)

So the context of "it's not ALWAYS your fault" has a different connotation when you know that Starscream was often blamed and scapegoated as the problem by Megatron, being beaten several times in the process, but he also did a lot of stupid shit and tried to kill Megatron and usurp him on more than one occasion. Like dude was not subtle whatsoever about wanting Megatron dead and or under his own boot. I'm not going to to try to bring in much stuff from the other continuities for this, because I do think all continuities should stand on their own as best as possible, but really those lines are very much an intentional throw back to G1, in my opinion, and I do think it's relevant to bring that stuff up right now to explain what it implies about the relationship between Megatron and Starscream.

Basically they both did fucked up shit to each other, and since Megatron was the one with more power/authority being the leader of the Decepticons, I do think his actions have more weight/impact. But having a guy around who is constantly plotting against you, trying to kill you, and wants your job as leader isn't fun and games either. Starscream and Megatron were in an extremely toxic dynamic with each other and both are valid in their feelings, even if Megatron deserves more weight for having more power in that dynamic.

MOVING ON.

Why am I showing you this image of the red lights? It's important because we know this is just the Terrans and the Seeker Twins' optics.

As you can see most of them assuredly do not have red eyes, but up until they come out of the shadows their eyes are shown as red. Because it's what Hashtag and Starscream PERCEIVE. It is what they experience. This episode is all about how even if what you feel/see isn't totally fact, it's still valid because it feels real to you. Which will be coming up again in a bit.

The team reunites, Starscream is surprised Skywarp and Nova Storm didn't ditch, you can see it on his face when they appear, and it adds to the complicated nuance because like...they have every right to hate on Starscream the same way he hates on Megatron with how he treats them, but they don't. They keep coming back. It should mean something, right?

And for once instead of running like a coward Starscream chooses to stand and take down the Dweller so it doesn't have the chance to come back and harm them. So it can't get to the surface and keep hunting Cybertronians. Proof that Starscream isn't ONLY just a selfish person! Hashtag Approved (literally).

Team Up happens, plans are made, Starscream and Hashtag go off to do their side of things and then...there he is.

Megatron. Who sees Starscream as a threat (to Hashtag, to everyone) and immediately sets trying to beat the shit out of him.

But the Megatron Starscream sees is still the one wearing a Decepticon badge. Know who else saw Megatron that way? Mandroid. It's literally how he designed the version of Megatron he used to attack the kids in the previous episode. Two people who were harmed by Megatron's actions/decisions (Mandroid was harmed in the same battle that cost Dot her leg, aka the last battle when Megatron was a Decepticon, because he chose saving her over his own faction in that battle).

But again, we have when the images don't match the reality, but are shown because this is what the character is perceiving/experiencing. Starscream perceives Megatron this way and we are shown it as being Real to him. It actually goes back and forth between this and the GHOST badge during the fight.

So we see that Starscream's trauma, his hurt, is valid. Megatron was not good to Starscream. But we also have Megatron's feelings and stress about Starscream being validated. BECAUSE BOTH ARE VALID.

You have a Megatron who openly admits he used fear and intimidation and violence to keep his troops in line. You have a Starscream saying he used fear and intimidation against them like a tyrant. You have a Megatron who sees Starscream as a supreme threat and warns people to never let down their guard around him. And you have a Starscream who actively treats his own fellow Decepticons like shit and even uses physical violence against them just because he's frustrated/scared of something else. He takes out his negativity on them.

So both of them are valid in their feelings. No one is in the Right. Both of them have reasons and experiences that influence how they feel. There is NUANCE.

But there is a difference. And that difference does come up as the show goes on. Please keep this in mind.

Hashtag defends Starscream, gets Megatron to back down. He doesn't keep pummeling Starscream because why would he when Hashtag is in the way. He doesn't even do the stereotypical trope of "GET OUT OF THE WAY HASHTAG" or anything like that. He just stops when she tells him to, then dismisses her like "Ugh the Dweller, it ain't real." Ya know, until it tries to eat him and he punches it full of fusion cannon.

Starscream tries to save Hashtag from the Dweller. He literally does something no one would have thought he would do. Sure shocks Megatron. Proceeds to then even use himself as bait to keep it from trying to feed on her. An act of sacrifice we had not seen from Starscream at all. He protects her...only for him to uh...then shoot the ceiling and cause it to come crashing down and take all three of them into the cavern below. So ya know, something is Starscream's fault there. Then Hashtag comes out of the cave water super powered and takes down the Dweller to save him.

But it's important because it shows that Starscream isn't all bad. He doesn't HAVE to be all bad. S1 consistently brings up that everyone deserves a second chance and there is more to people than meets the eye. No one is all bad. Everyone deserves a chance to do good and be better than they were.

Megatron realizes that he's wrong to see Starscream the way he always has. Because even when Megatron wanted to help other Decepticons, he did not afford that same compassion to Starscream. Because of his experiences and how they have treated each other. He offers Starscream a place to go that is safe and Starscream rejects it. Because in HIS experience, he can never feel safe around Megatron. Just like Megatron likely still will never feel completely safe around Starscream, but in this moment, he tried. For Hashtag. And because this is the path Megatron has been working on, the path he put himself on to do better and be better. Megatron might slip at times (like his biased behavior towards Starscream), but he keeps trying to do better.

But this episode shows no one is owed forgiveness, too. Both of their experiences are valid, and Starscream doesn't have to forgive Megatron for anything he did. He doesn't have to open himself up to that and he doesn't.

We also never see him apologize for anything he did to Skywarp and Nova Storm, but they are used to him never apologizing, I'm gonna guess, and maybe actions can be more important than words. Maybe he shows them contrition even though he can never SAY it. We don't really get to see Skywarp and Nova Storm's opinions and feelings except when they call Starscream out for abandoning them (like how he abandoned Soundwave and Swindle) and how they believe had he helped them they wouldn't have been hurt by the Dweller. I really would have loved to see them, being the ones he often hurts and takes his feelings out on, getting to call him out more for it instead of Twitch with her biased views doing it for them.

BUT ANYWAY.

"Hashtag, remember to take care of yourself."

I want you all to remember this because it's important. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT. Please keep in context that this episode is about people having experiences that are valid and personal even if it is not the same as someone else's or necessarily abject Fact/Truth. It is THEIR truth.

Fact = Fact. Perception of Truth = Subjective To Interpretation.

Okay, so we do a hop skip and a jump to the S1 finale where Twitch and Nightshade free the Decepticons from their cells at GHOST HQ and they ask them for help fighting Mandroid. Because Mandroid is out to take down all Cybertronians on Earth. They are ALL AT RISK. The Decepticons refuse and leave.

Until the big battle when Starscream steps in to save Twitch from Megatron.

"The news traveled quickly of what you and your family did for Decepticons, tonight. So, we're here to return the favor."

This is such a cool moment because on one hand you have Starscream coming in to help the Maltos, show that he can do the right thing and that he can work together with them! That he can put grievances and hurts aside for this.

But let us not also forget the very, very, very obvious thing here.

If the Maltos had lost, if the Terrans COULDN'T stop Mandroid (and they didn't), then all Cybertronians on Earth were at risk. They did not know he had a GENOCIDE BEAM, but Nightshade and Twitch clearly told them that his goal was to take out ALL Cybertronians. None were safe.

Like why wouldn't Starscream join in to save his own plating and that of his team?

Honestly, I was more surprised at how dismissive the other Cons were about the situation when it was explained to them. Because it was literally DIRE and they were like "Ugh, no, we want no part of it. Not our problem." About protecting their own lives. I imagine Starscream had to explain to them how very stupid and short-sighted that was.

People see this as being a lot more selfless than it actually is.

Like he IS helping, he is doing the Right Thing, but he's also doing it with plenty of his own self-interests mixed in. They have to win. They have to take out Mandroid to save all Cybertronians in order to save themselves. And like...humans were not really in danger here except the Maltos. Mandroid thinks he's saving humanity. Humanity isn't really a major factor in anyone's decisions here. So no one can claim Starscream did any of this to help humans except maybe the Maltos (returning that favor). Nothing about this implies Starscream cares about humans at all. DO NOT MAKE THAT ASSUMPTION.

And also he gets pummel Megatron which he is very happy with doing. I'm not taking away from the good Starscream is doing, but also let us be more nuanced as the show often is with their true motivations here.

The day is saved after the day was doomed. All Cybertronians die (except Twitch), Mandroid dies, and then Mo and Robby have to use the Emberstone to bring all Cybertronians back to life.

And they break it in the process.

This is important because it leads right into the whole theme of S2. S1 was about family, finding your place in the world, validating your experiences and sense of self, and second chances. Whether you choose to take them or not.

SEASON 2

Season 2 has different themes on top of these. There's the theme about taking accountability for your own choices (carryover from S1 but its the kids dealing with it now, not the adults). The theme of compromise. A theme about family dynamics and recognizing that not every child comes into the world with the same opportunities or privileges or core family support structure and that impacts their perspective and how they relate to others (Chaos Terrans, my darlings). And the theme of the Macguffin not being the magical fix-it that everyone thinks it is, but everyone is so set on it being that and how it influences all of their decisions and choices.

There is also the parallel of what happens when you don't take your second chance and use it wisely.

Now there is a flaw here. A big one. One that has driven me nuts even if I get budget and the like are why it exists.

We don't know what happens during the time skip.

If we take Expedition (the video game) as canon, we know Mandroid uploaded his brain digitally and still comes back as a ghost in the shell to fuck with everything and even enslave a bunch of Cybertronians all over again. Which is just PEACHY (Grimlock deserves a fucking five year vacation let that mech REST).

But we don't really know how the Autobots and Decepticons fell out yet again, despite the fact they weren't exactly besties at the end of S1. Nothing says they were. They at least had the potential for compromise and civility to build, but nothing says they're like...companions.

We do know that the Cons have their own base. The Autobots are well aware of this base and do not seem keen on attacking it and arresting all of the Decepticons. Ever. If not for the conflict about the Emberstone Shards, they seem to be fine with just LEAVING THEM ALONE. Optimus says as much when they try to get the Shards back during the S2 finale.

"Surrender your collection of Ember Shards and we will leave you in peace."

They were willing to let the Cons go about their ways and lives as long as they got the Shards back. The Shards that really belong to the Maltos if you want to be technical about everything since like...it's literally bonded to Mo and Robby. So ya know, this is not them being unreasonable even if the shows of force could be considered as such.

But as long as the Decepticons aren't causing trouble, putting humans in danger, or interfering with whatever they are doing themselves, the Autobots leave them to live their own lives. Which is basically what Optimus and Megatron said the Autobots wanted for Decepticons back in S1, to let them live their lives as long as they stayed out of trouble and weren't harming humans. This has not changed. The Decepticons just keep doing shit and thus the Autobots keep responding. They are not actively hunting them until they start something. The second chance not taken.

But when did the Cons make the decision to go after the Shards? How did things go here? We know the "why" mostly. And the why is important but I think the HOW would give us context for why things are the state they are in at the beginning of S2 a year later where cinnamon roll Jawbreaker has no problem insulting and trash-talking at the Cons while on a Shard Hunt.

We do need to start everything off in S2 with the WHY though, because going over the WHY of it all literally impacts and contextualizes everything that happens in S2. And so this part of where instead of going step by step with what happens in S2, I will be jumping around a lot to focus on how the themes tie together with Starscream's arc.

So. The Decepticons know about Terratronus.

They know about her because Shockwave worked with Karen Croft (and then goes out and gets the data from Croft's personal computer to verify and prove all of it) and I'm sure he probably figured out that all the tunnels under Witwicky are actually inside Terratronus' body. Shockwave would be way more likely to recognize the body of a Titan through those maps and schematics than humans would be.

Starscream literally says there is a weapon under Witwicky that the Autobots don't know about and he needs the Emberstone to bring the "weapon" (aka Terratronus) online. THEY NEED ALL OF THE SHARDS FOR THIS. Which is important.

They want all of the Emberstone shards because they want to use the Emberstone to control Terratronus, which also created her.

Why do they want to control Terratronus?

So they can cyber-form Earth and turn it into New Cybertron.

This is Starscream's goal. It's stated right in the beginning of S2.

Not everyone agrees with this goal, Shockwave especially, but the others don't necessarily like being on Earth either and Breakdown even says as much to Bee later on. They don't see Earth as home. But they trust Starscream. They are willing to follow him. And from what we see, they must consider him a good enough leader because they stand by him all the way until he fucks them over.

Starscream on the other hand, does not believe they can ever go back to Cybertron and thus decides making Earth into the Cybertron they need is the best way to do it. They are here and they are superior and thus they should be able to do whatever they want to Earth.

This does not go against ANYTHING we know about Starscream.

Because Starscream does not, has not, and has never been implied to give a shit about humans. Nothing in the show says this. Nothing in the show has him being kind to humans. NOTHING.

Instead, as pointed way back in the beginning, we have him actively disliking humans/GHOST for how they are treated. So him not only not giving a shit about humans, but being willing to take over Earth for the benefit of Cybertronians, yeah, isn't so damn out there at all.

Neither is him using Alex as a bargaining chip.

So Starscream is willing to put humans in danger to achieve his goals of creating New Cybertron. Because to him, Earth is not an acceptable place for Cybertronians to live. All the Decepticons basically agree on this, the difference is Starscream thinks the solution is making Earth into Cybertron while Shockwave thinks they should focus more on finding a way home to the real Cybertron.

Which is why Shockwave follows Starscream but as he sees Starscream continuing to double down and refuse to listen to his advice and warnings, he does not step in to help. He lets Robby and Twitch take the Shards. He plans his escape. Because he cannot trust Starscream anymore. Because Starscream never admits to being wrong.

When Hashtag tries to reason with him, pointing out that he is hurting others just the same way he himself was hurt, because using the Emberstone to control Terratronus is abusing her in the way he says he was abused. She doesn't want him to go down that path! But he tells her something.

"Hashtag, my advice was to 'Remember to take care for yourself,' which is exactly what I'm doing."

This completely recontextualizes that scene. Because when we saw it at first, it was from Hashtag's perspective. Hashtag who interpreted it very differently than how he meant it. In the episode all about how people's perceptions of reality are true for them but not be the same for others. She thought he meant to look out for her own well being, to make sure she took care of herself, too, not just her family. To value herself.

He meant to put yourself first, always. To always choose yourself above everyone else. "Me First."

Some pretty damn Starscream level type of advice really. He might have a little soft spot for her, but not enough to put her over his own interests and that of the Decepticons (and probably luck for him that she wasn't on the surface when the Emberstone attacked all of the Autobots and Maltos because he never had to consider taking action to help her or leaving her to die). I also think it's interesting that he's excited by the power of the Emberstone and the unknown of it. That he wants to see what it's truly capable of. A bit of the scientist in Starscream coming out?

This is where the parallel of Hashtag and Starscream to Megatron and Dot comes in. Because when Dot tells him "I'm saving your men, get on board or get the fuck out of my way," it hits something with Megatron. Seeing a human caring for his people and showing them compassion makes Megatron question his choices, question his path, and MAKE THE ACTIVE CHOICE TO CHANGE. He literally gives up being a Decepticon at the same time he chooses to save Dot's life, even if he doesn't make the conscious choice until later. He recognizes he's been wrong and needs to do something about it. That is why he chooses to side with the Autobots, and then GHOST later.

Instead, Starscream doesn't. Because Starscream can never be wrong. He can only ever be the victim and never the victimizer, in his mind. He can never go too far because any length he's willing to go is automatically justifiable in his mind. When given a second chance, when Hashtag is literally pleading with him to not go through with it, Starscream chooses to double down instead. This is the big difference. Hashtag tried to reach him, and he chose to reject it for his own ambitions, his own desires.

And then...well...

Now we come to the part I think they set up very nicely: Starscream and the Chaos Terrans.

At first, it's obvious he is more angry than anything, not sure what to make of Aftermath when Breakdown brings him in.

But he sure is looking at the Shard in Aftermath's grill. Because he knows that Shard is needed to finish the Emberstone. He knows this as early as episode 1 of S2. He tells Breakdown to keep him in check, but doesn't get rid of him. Because he needs that Shard.

This face is Realization.

Because the only way he's getting a full Emberstone is taking the shards from the living Terran right in front of him. And so he's like...weirdly permissive with Aftermath. Doesn't shout at him a lot, seems to mostly ignore him and let him do whatever he's doing, as long as he's not in the way. Because he's keeping him around by doing it. Not imposing himself on Aftermath with dominating authority is better than being parental or commanding at making Aftermath stay rather than run off to be with the Maltos/Autobots.

Spitfire coming doesn't change this. What does change is his tactic, once he realizes she can be useful (and he's calmed down from being insulted by Twitch-As-Spitfire). He's not as dismissive with her. He actively engages with her later. Because that's what Spitfire needs. Spitfire needs to be validated in her opinions and shown praise for her accomplishments and choices.

Because Starscream is a manipulative and scheming asshole, just like Megatron said. Because Starscream being right about Megatron does not mean that Megatron was wrong about Starscream. Both of them can be correct at the same time.

And it's interesting to consider that Starscream gives the shards all to Spitfire to open and combine them into the Emberstone.

And it's interesting that he hides behind her when the stone starts letting out Chaos energy and hitting bots and turning them to stone. Like for real, watch the scene. He slides behind her to protect himself so she is between him and the stone/shards.

Is it just because he doesn't want to be turn to stone (taking back the lives it gave before it was destroyed), or because he was fairly certain it would go after the shard inside of her spark? I'm saying both.

Because that is exactly what happens. The stone tries to take her spark, but Spitfire overpowers it instead. And thus Starscream compliments her and takes her off to an isolated location...because now he knows what he'll have to do.

Putting Spitfire right in the line of fire for the stone didn't kill her. So he's going to have to take the more hands-on approach. Not like he wasn't going to have to do it with Aftermath anyway, but it seems he had been trying to avoid having to do it to Spitfire himself. Which I think does say something.

He would rather not do it, but if push comes to shove, Starscream will always pick himself. And he's not afraid of doing what others wouldn't. Because the other Decepticons (except Shockwave, who was in on the whole plan, and maybe Swindle who is insightful enough to figure this kind of thing out and doesn't really care) probably don't know that to get those Shards, they're gonna have to kill the Chaos Terrans.

And so Starscream proceeds to do just that. Because his goal is definitely worth more to him than two kids.

He kills them and takes their shards to complete the corrupt Emberstone and this is when Hashtag no longer tries to reason with him. She doesn't try to convince him to stop. Instead she says, "You are more cruel than Megatron ever was."

And Starscream takes it as a compliment.

Because Starscream does not see Megatron's cruelty as a bug or a flaw. His issue has always been that it was not his boot on someone else's neck, that he had to be subservient and follow rather than lead himself. He wanted to be the one with the power, the control, who is also the Savior. Because he does think he's saving Cybertronians. He thinks he's creating a new home for them that they will be grateful to have (despite the fact the other Cons would really rather go back to Cybertron instead of stay on Earth, but Starscream is set on his plan being the Correct Plan because Starscream can never be wrong).

That is why he says, "Now, watch me be more effective than Megatron ever was!"

Because in the end, Starscream's true gripe with Megatron was not only was he a bully who scapegoated him for things and took his anger out on Starscream, he just plain thinks he sucked as a leader and never did what needed to be done. Never accomplished all they could, because Megatron was an ineffective leader who couldn't go all the way.

There's so much nuance in this portrayal of Starscream and I fucking love it.

I love how it all came about, I love it also ends in him failing because he alienated all the people who should have stood by him. I love that he does lose control a bit, letting himself be filled with corrupt Chaos energy, which Alex warned even back in S2E1 was probably dangerous to people in general.

Because S2 is about consequences. The consequences of destroying the Emberstone to bring back all the Cybertronians on Earth. The consequences of not using your second chances wisely. The consequences of refusing to listen to the advice of others.

The consequences of thinking the mystical artifact will solve all your problems and the choices you made to get it.

The consequences of being too quick to judge others who are different from you.

The consequences of putting yourself first always.

And the fact he goes from being leader of the Decepticons and his dream of being the hero who created a new world for them, to being trapped inside Terratronus's helm with the dead bodies of the two kids he killed for months and no way out, no one to speak to, losing all the freedom he had gained after the take down of GHOST and Mandroid...well. That's what you get.

[brw]

1, 9 and 10 for your ask game please!

1) the character everyone gets wrong

I'd go with Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne, and I know that's cheating because that's two, but in my defence, the ways in which people get them wrong independently absolutely inform the ways they get the other wrong to.

Janet is a lot more proactive in her relationship with Hank than people give her credit for, and was a much bigger reason of why their relationship failed than people also give her credit for. There's a push to rewrite history and make her a very flat victim, and I can see why, but it's frustrating because I think it's a lot more interesting that Janet repeatedly and purposefully ignored multiple warning signs that Hank's health was imperiled simply because she held on to a belief that love could overcome anything, including a man's undiagnosed and unmedicated schizophrenia. It is JANET who makes the decision to marry. She is essentially the one who proposed, after Hank–hallucinating as Yellowjacket and genuinely thinks he is his own murderer–kidnaps her, then briefly becomes lucid and backs off.

Genuinely, right. Genuinely. I don't think the Hank we see here, violently hallucinating, thinking he murdered himself and having a totally different persona and attitude, was in a position to give meaningful consent! I think it's very clear this is a man a danger to himself and to other people, who was not in the right frame of mind to agree to marriage, but people prefer to write Janet as a very basic victim, which I think is a massive disservice to the actually really nuanced way her relationship with Hank was sometimes written, where Hank was clearly unwell and Janet knew it but thought it was an issue that could be fixed with holiday's and sex and Avenging and not a more fundamental psychological one, and that's a far more interesting story to me.

9) worst part of canon

Lotta things I can put here. I think at the moment I am most frustrated by "Krakoa had no people on it before mutants fine, therefore it isn't an ethnostate and it's totally cool and awesome", because the lie of "there were no people here before us!" has been used time and time again throughout history to justify genocide, oppression, violence and colonialism, and I do not think it is the place of the white Americans in charge of writing Krakoa to essentially legitimise those lies because they didn't want to write Magneto or Nightcrawler or Wolverine and company to be out and out colonisers. If you are writing this kind of project, I think you should have the dignity to commit to it.

10) worst part of fanon

in no particular order

Dadneto, House of M dynasty as a whole

Charles is walking. More than anything else with Cherik this annoys me the most. Motherfucker I'll break his legs myself. Please at the very least let the disabled character be disabled.

The notion that Sue/Namor is real and happened

Logan Howlett girldad

Crystal doesn't exist in the Maximoff family conversation, related to that I once saw a haha fandom meme where Crystal was called an absent parent and that is so fundmantally untrue it felt like I was being trolled

Claremont's racism and zionism isn't real don't worry about it. Close your eyes and only mention it when it's something you can't pretend doesn't exist like Kitty Pryde saying the n word multiple times

Hank McCoy was Always Evil and Always Fated To Go Dark. That's just a regular man forced to hang out with his high school friends after three years of doing nothing but smoke weed with a gay 1950s theatre nerd. You would turn "evil" too.

That Reed Richards doesn't love his wife??? He invented comic guys being really intense about their wives. Leave him alone... that's the love of his life above all else??? Excuse me.

[thecorefrisk]

Note for me #2

(If you decide to read this, tw warning: talks of SA, grooming, r@pe, sexual abuse, lots of self blaming, slight victim blaming (technically, because he didn’t even know what he was blaming her for) and pedophilia.)

Adelio and Sable are two victims of SA only at different times in their lives and with different consequences. (One’s abuser gets off scot free, the other is killed but it subsequently ruins the victim’s life because even if their abuser is dead, their actions will still haunt them.) (And also the guilt of killing them will follow them around like— ‘was your experience even valid, did it even count, if you murdered him for it? You killed him, maybe you were always going to and that was the price—‘)

Their story is about how different SA victims tend to view each other due to their own experiences and how the self hatred instigated by said experiences affect how they see other victims.

Adelio was the kid entrusted into the care of the wrong person (sexual abuse by a guardian). Sable was the neglected kid who thought someone finally thought they were worth something (sexual abuse by an authority figure/mentor).

A kid who just wanted to be loved and a kid who just wanted to help, to become something.

One becomes a thrill seeker and gets a reputation for his ‘exploits’ from a young age and eventually is used once again but for a different purpose. The other becomes a very bat-esque character in which they manage to both isolate themselves yet create a team around them— almost like a wall— in which it’s obvious they love their team but are also deathly afraid of being hurt yet always trying so hard to be good and to help people but again, deathly afraid of being taken advantage of.

(Where one is attempting to erase that what happened did in fact happen and that it was wrong and the other is constantly reminded and haunted by it in their every breath.)

(Basically, male victim of SA vs female victim. In matters of comparison, that is. They do fight though.)

Okay, remember. While they are an enemies to lovers, Adelio isn’t pursuing Sable in any shape, way, or form (not even out of spite) in the beginning— he is pursuing (romantically) one of the members of her team.

They hate each other because while they did used to figure skating partners, Adelio felt Sable was often the favored one. And he didn’t recognize the real reason as to why she ‘got more attention’ because of the sexual abuse he experienced when he was very young. (Which ended up in him becoming hypersexual and using parties and skating and ridiculous amounts of spending to distract himself from it.)

And also, he almost got pinned for her and their coach’s murder/disappearance when she was off doing super spy shit. But he’s not horribly mad about this part.

At first, they are more like inconveniences and annoyances to one another. It’s not like they’re real enemies, but they certainly wouldn’t be around each other if they had the choice.

Then, Adelio is indoctrinated into villainy because what else is a kid supposed to do when everyone thinks they’re a murderer other than run. (Just because you’re cleared of your charges doesn’t mean people will believe in them.) Now, that part actually does cause more resentment between him and Sable.

Adelio becomes Sable’s biggest thorn in her side ever. His schemes aren’t really diabolical or out to hurt anyone, he just wants her friend to date him and Sable is just, like, making an expression that is the epitome of ‘girl… you can do so much better than THAT.’

But, Adelio eventually gets frustrated. I mean, he’s trying to date this girl but her ‘leader’, who was also his ex-figure skating partner, just keeps getting in the way.

So, he needs to get rid of her.

This is where his schemes go from silly and just a littler unhinged to teetering on deathly.

But as these plans grew more and more elaborate, his little obsession with Sable’s teammate gets put on the back burner. At first, it’s simply because ‘oh, I need to get rid of her to be able to date so and so’. But it turns into simply ‘I need to get rid of her’.

And it’s a little hard to not become a bit obsessive over someone when they are literally at the center of every plan you make and execute. When they are literally the entire reason you got here in the first place.

Then, Sable dies. But not at his hands.

So, the alternate timeline jumping begins.

[theblackdragon-studios]

Why I Ship GuitarPrincess/Chadam

@xxx-sir-pentious-xxx

This was too long to answer in the replies, so I’m answering with a post.

To be honest, I didn’t immediately ship it. I actually didn’t even know it existed until I found a Sinner Adam x Charlie piece then read the story connected to it. The art was cute and fun, and the story made me see they had a lot more in common than you might think just watching the show. If all you were looking at was how they interacted with each other, the one-sided hatred and the frustration, you wouldn’t see what’s similar.

Some of it is just speculation, since Adam is only in three episodes and the only moment we see him in his everyday life activities is the scene where he and Lute are walking along while he drinks a smoothie or something. We don’t ever see his hobbies or him talk to people he likes except Lute, and even then she was saying things that annoyed him (telling him not to fight Charlie and Vaggie on the street and to be quiet about the Exterminations)

But we know from his dialogue and “Hell is Forever” that he doesn’t just like music because the show is a musical. He has a rock band in Heaven that he leads, and he plays the guitar not just as a weapon. So he is a character that enjoys singing and making music outside of the song numbers, like Charlie does.

In other words, they both canonically love music and making music, where the rest of the characters are singing because it’s the song numbers and not necessarily because it’s a hobby or career choice.

They also both like to draw, as seen by Charlie’s crayon drawing presentation and his silly doodles all over anything he writes on (the “fuck you I do what I want” paper and the list of things you do to get into heaven) They’re both creatives.

Next, this part is speculation on Adam’s part, but they both seem to be motivated by pleasing someone higher than them. Charlie desperately wants to continue what she believes is her mother’s passion project of making Hell a great kingdom, but also making it more than the horrible den of evil and debauchery it is. She also really wants a good relationship with her dad and to please and help everyone even if it hurt herself in the process.

Meanwhile Adam really seems to crave the approval of the heavenly council and Sera.

Yeah, he acts like he doesn’t respect or like her when she lectures him like a kid, but he took her instructions to heart to do whatever possible to keep the situation of Hell interfering in Heaven from escalating, which is why he blackmailed Vaggie.

Then in the courtroom he seemed to look to Sera for confirmation on his claim of how he got into Heaven, he seemed genuinely unsure but had the look of a man hoping for approval or reassurance. After that when he kicked Charlie and Vaggie out and no one in the courtroom was amused, for the first time he felt small. That weak little “sorry…” and this face:

He seems confused but also, like I said, feeling small. Their approval seems to be important to him, otherwise he would brush it off because no matter what anyone thinks, he deluded himself into believing he’s the best. But that isn’t how he reacted. So I think he wears two masks: the physical one and the one oozing confidence in how awesome he is. He’s actually quite insecure. Charlie is too, but she doesn’t hide it behind arrogance, she uses optimism and determined positivity.

I get that in the show this is done to make them parallels: one is kind and optimistic and hides her insecurities by helping everyone else, the other is obnoxious, hypocritical, unforgiving, and hides behind a mask of arrogant vanity.

But it could work as just enemies, or as enemies to friends to lovers if the circumstances allowed it. They have a lot in common but also a lot of differences. Differences that push and challenge each other.

Charlie thinks the world is all grey and that bad people just need to learn how to be good, hence her lessons. Adam thinks the world is black and white and that thinking otherwise is childish and false, and no matter what a bad person does to be good, it won’t change anything.

Charlie also thinks (until she visits) that Heaven is all wonderful and accepting and nothing bad ever happens there. Only to find out it’s flawed as well, especially with how they have rules, but they pick and choose who is held accountable by them.

Adam thinks when people are alive that’s their time to choose to be good or bad. He’s been away from Earth so long, he doesn’t see that circumstances sometimes lead people to do bad things to save other people from the same fate (Angel Dust, for example, who did everything he could to save his sister from going down the same path if I remember the out of show information correctly) and thinks Hell is a barbaric place full of completely bad people. If they’re bad, they aren’t worth keeping around. (Again some of this is speculation)

But because of how similar he and Charlie are even if their ideologies are the opposite, if their dynamic was different they could challenge and teach each other things they wouldn’t notice without the other. Adam would fight her on things a lot more than Vaggie or Lute ever did with their respective companion, and Charlie’s temper and stubbornness would lead her to push back against him a lot too. It would be messy and complicated, but they would learn a lot more from each other than they do from Vaggie or Lute.

Vaggie doesn’t try very hard to debate Charlie and because of her fear of being found out to be a former Exorcist (which turned out to only be a big deal to Charlie…no one else…but that’s a different topic) she keeps things vague. “Don’t get your hopes up…” “angels are hard to change…” Meanwhile Lute is a “yes man”. She doesn’t challenge Adam’s beliefs, she parrots them. And while that’s great for a second-in-command and his friend, it doesn’t promote much growth.

So bottom line, Charlie and Adam would really challenge each other in ways their canon companions don’t, but they also would have things in common to actually bond over if things had gone differently.

Also it will never, ever be canon, so no stress about religiously following the canon bible.

[bengiyo]

Theory of Love Romcom Rewatch Episode 1: Dear Dakanda (2005)

Once again I am watching Theory of Love because @lurkingshan gets specific pleasure out of making me change my mind about this show. Unfortunately, I regress every time I start this over. Shan already posted her reaction to episode 1 along with Dear Dakanda (2005), as did @neuroticbookworm. @twig-tea posted some useful insights about the team behind the film and their future works in QL. I will begin today with a review of the film, and then my reactions to Theory of Love based on its use of the film. 

Dear Dakanda

Dear Dakanda follows the journey of Khaiyoi as he visits an island town and develops a relationship with a nurse treating him, while also reflecting on his friendship with his friend Dakanda. Over the course of the film, we see Nui, the nurse, clearly falling for and flirting with Khaiyoi. However, Khaiyoi seems to either not notice or ignore this as he spends much of the film writing letters to Dakanda, his unexpressed crush from college. 

The film paints a beautiful portrait of Chiang Mai and Koh Phangan. Meanwhile, it’s obvious to everyone that Khaiyoi has palpable chemistry with both Dakanda in college, and Nui on the island. Unfortunately, Khaiyoi is so stuck in his own head that he’s unable to express his feelings to Dakanda before she gets involved with someone else, and he’s too caught up in Dakanda to properly face Nui’s feelings. 

I enjoyed the way this film incorporated white tourists into the background and foreground of this film. There’s an especially good moment where some tourists push across multiple boundaries to ask Khaiyoi to draw them. I also enjoyed the casual inclusion of queerness on screen. It was nice watching this 20 years later and recognizing some of the moments in college from how much exposure we’ve had to them through BL.

Overall, I found myself a bit frustrated with the protagonist. Despite the high production and efficient editing, I found Khaiyoi to be rather difficult to read. I don’t feel like I ever understood the core of his reticence around telling Dakanda his feelings, especially when it was clear that Dakanda’s family supported him and all of their friends already presumed they were together. 

Theory of Love Episode 1

Now that we’re back in my third watch of Theory of Love, I find myself immediately regressing and empathizing strongly with Third. It’s always interesting how strongly I support Third, even if I have grown enough to recognize where he’s in the wrong. However, it’s notable coming off of watching Dear Dakanda that Third makes the same mistake I’m making in empathizing too strongly with Khaiyoi.

Others have already written solid pieces about this, and so I want to focus on how this shows odd placement in the bubble affects my experience. Third is a member of a popular group of amorous straight men famous for their sexual prowess around campus. Despite his known aversion to female attention, he has a position in this group of peak masculinity. Moreover, the lack of visible queerness in much of this show, coupled with Third’s lack of experience with overly queer media, makes him seem deeply closeted and out of touch with his own community. 

Each time I return to this show, we have the conversations about how Third is actually a bad friend to Khai by being so mad at him for things Khai doesn’t even know about or do, and how Khai really only overstepped with Third in episode 1 when he broke their movie pact to hang out with a girl. It’s already obvious that Third doesn’t care about Bone or Two’s escapades, but he’s constantly pressed about Khai in a way that isn’t fair.

Yet, I struggle with the concept of fairness here. Romance stories dictate that Third is in the wrong for withholding his feelings here, but anyone who grew up closeted would have genuine hesitation about coming out in sex a presumably heteronormative situation. It’s obvious that Third would connect with a character like Khaiyoi, especially because Khaiyoi never makes it clear (at least to me) why he’s holding back with Dakanda. Third would also love Khaiyoi’s sad beard and dramatic displays around his offense. 

As always with a Gun character, I end up reading a lot about Gun into the character itself (something I think casting directors are hoping we’ll do). I apply a lot of de facto queerness to Third because of my history with Gun (The Blue Hour (2015), Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (2016), Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey 2 (2017)), and as such I find myself so frustrated about how isolated he is from other queer people whenever I meet Third again. 

Finally, it bugs me that Third is so wrapped up in hetero romcoms as the guideposts for his own romantic achievements with Khai. He would have been better served if he’d been as deep into queer cinema as I was in 2019, and probably wouldn’t have set himself up so hard for failure. Still, this is a TV show, and I wonder if the writing team wanted to unpack het romance through this story. 

I’m excited to see how badly Third read Love Actually (2003) tomorrow.