#and she found a new book series she loves
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girlsloveupdates · 2 days ago
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GL airing in 2025 (so far)
Only You (original plot)
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The series mixes action and adventure, with Tawan, a bodyguard in charge of protecting Ira. The romance between them grows amid threats and dangerous situations, creating a plot full of action and emotion. (summarised by @lesbicine)
Watch the official teaser here.
The Dragon House (novel adapted)
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The Dragon House tells the story of Fei Long, heiress to the feared Dragon Fire Gang, who needs to form an alliance with Wang Li Ming, the successor of the Jade Lion Gang. Together, the two face rivalries and tensions, and the chemistry between them promises to heat up the plot. (summarised by @lesbicine)
Watch the official teaser here.
Buy My Boss (novel adapted)
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Recent graduate Manfan is facing numerous problems: her family's bankrupt; she's been dumped; everything's gone downhill, dragged down to the abyss. Wanting nothing more than some release, she hires an enchanting escort named Araya who reassures her that good things are coming. Who would have thought that later, when she takes on an important job, would she meet her boss Issara, and would come to learn that Araya and Issara are one and the same?
Watch the official teaser here.
Us (novel adapted)
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Dokrak decides to take a gap year to find herself after finishing high school. She has a part-time job at a coworking space coffee shop. It's here that she crosses paths with dentistry student Pam who’s a regular at the café to hit the books. As she gets to know Pam, Dokrak develops a crush. When her brother, however, meets Pam, he falls for her at first sight. Kawi turns to Dokrak, asking her to play matchmaker. Because she loves him and wants to see him happy, Dokrak begins coaching him. As time goes on, however, she finds herself unable to ignore her growing feelings for Pam. Before she knows it, she's fully in love and Pam is Kawi's girlfriend.
Watch the official teaser here.
Reverse With Me (novel adapted)
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Amid the intricate waltz of time, Kliaokhluen's life was spared seven years ago by a mysterious medical student Karan who possesses the power to manipulate time. Saved from the brink of death, Kliaokhluen found her life purpose, yet the only remnant of her savior was a name. Haunted by an unfulfilled connection, Kliaokhluen embarks on a relentless quest for Karan. She pursues a medical degree to follow in the footsteps of her enigmatic savior until fate takes an unexpected turn when, amidst the frantic urgency of the emergency room, their paths converge once more. Karan emerges, not as a fellow student but as a cold and distant cardiothoracic surgeon. Kliaokhluen, now a seasoned sixth-year medical student, struggles to bridge the gap, yearning for acknowledgment and understanding. As the lines between past and present blur, secrets unfold, revealing a complex accident from years ago and the icy demeanor of the woman who holds the key to Kliaokhluen's unanswered questions. Will Karan remain indifferent, refusing to recognize her unique ability to control time, or will their intertwined destinies finally unravel?
Watch the official trailer here.
Shades (original plot)
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The series takes place in a chaotic all-girls school. The students, who are expected to be well-behaved, are rebellious and break the rules.
Watch the official teaser here.
No Romeo (original plot)
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The series follows two friends. As their feelings evolve, financial and family issues come into play, bringing complication and depth to their relationship.
I’m Your Moon (novel adapted)
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In the Buddhist year 2456 (1913), social rank and tradition bars the love between two princesses. Her Serene Highness Princess Phiangrawi and Her Serene Highness Princess Sasinapha are like sun and moon; they may never exist side by side. Nevertheless, their unfulfilled love and heart's wishes weave them a path back to each other. By the Buddhist year 2564 (2021), a new era has dawned when they fall back into one another's orbits. Katsakorn and Athitthan happen to meet and love blossoms in their hearts once more. The path to love, however, is never easy. The two must join hands to fight for it. Even without the veil of tradition barring them, the treacherous tale from the past still has a hold on their present.
Let’s Kick This Love (original plot)
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The plot follows two main characters in an action-packed, adventure-filled story, with Senam in the cast, playing an important role in the plot. (summarised by @lesbicine)
Stuck With Me (novel adapted)
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The plot revolves around Maitree and ManMek. One of them has the ability to stop time for 10 minutes. The plot mixes romance and mystery, with a good dose of tension, as the professional issues of both generate emotional complexity and the control of time can bring dramatic twists and turns. (summarised by @lesbicine)
Clairebell (novel adapted)
Belle Lalita was arrested on drug possession charges, even though the drugs weren’t hers. However, with the overwhelming evidence against her, her lawyer argued that there was no chance of winning the case, even if they fought it. Reluctantly, the young woman accepted her fate and stepped into prison, sentenced to fifteen months. However, life inside prison for Belle was far from peaceful as she had expected. She became a target of a powerful group within the prison, a group so influential that even the warden turned a blind eye to their actions due to mutual benefits. Belle had no other choice. Her last hope for survival lay with Claire, known as "Nineteen Scars," a notorious inmate whom no one dared approach. Amidst the storm of her life, while being confined and stripped of her freedom, Belle gradually began to feel the kindness hidden within Claire. Similarly, Claire started to learn how to empathize with others through Belle. "Love" slowly blossomed behind the towering prison walls, despite the increasing obstacles from both the powers within the prison and the outside world that had not been completely severed.
Somewhere, Somehow (novel adapted)
A hilarious and heartbreaking love story about a talented female engineer and her beautiful, fierce, and brutal female vice president that will make you smile, laugh, and cry with it.
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tenaciouschronicler · 2 days ago
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November 21 2024 2009
Oh.
My.
GOD.
Yall. YALL! I have no words. None! Rose: Ascend was so good, just so so good!
Finally powered up, Rose checks in with John and notices some pretty intense rumbling is happening. Our new little loading logo gives us an idea of what we are gonna get into.
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This flash, like Daves, starts interactive, putting us in Roses shoes as she navigates up to the platforms where John is just demolishing these Ogres. Hes found his footing and things are getting serious.
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He starts focusing on the right ogre, spin-hammering (like a spindash, but with added hammer) with such speed theres a green after-image with each consecutive hit. The left ogre tries to pull that tire swing move we witnessed previously but Nannaquin shows off her own power with an even larger lazer than the one used on the cookie-snatching imp.
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Rose, ever so helpful assists in the only way shes done so far: dropping household furniture.
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I honestly love that we start out so zoomed out and then zero in on the fridge. Like a cameraman trying to capture all the action and not believing his eyes at this turn of events. Unfortunately, the ogre has some sorta sixth sense, catches it without blinking (figuratively, i dont know if theseo ogres Can blink), and parries John back with probably the same force Bro did to Dave.
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Nanna makes her own sweet catch with a conjured (?) oven that John busts out of like Donkey Kong from a barrel.
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I actually have some questions here like, how?? Is this a standard sprite power, that they can like, create objects from their lazer eyes? What exactly is that lazer now that Im thinking about it? Sprites have to made of something semi-physical right? Cause the object Nanna made caught John. You know what, thats not important right now lets go back to the fight.
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... ... ...
...Whatever power this is Nanna can apparently use it to create other objects which she rains down upon the ogre. John, having bounced back in the air gets stopped by Rose wielding the alchemiter to create another platform.
John strikes the killing blow. One down, one to go. Surrounded by spoils, John faces the other ogre. And just a neat detail, the way John is animated makes him look like hes breathing a little heavy. Unlike Dave, I dont think John is very used to this level of excertion.
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Now the oven has a cookie lazer? Ok, whatever. John lands some more spin-hammer hits and Rose finally gets a win and drops the alchemiter of the ogre, ending the battle.
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Rose and John have a small chat before we get to see how far John has risen in the echeladder, a whopping 9 levels to Boy-Skylark.
Gains:
Boondollars- 11,575
Cache Limit- 2400, up from 80
Build Grist- 2260
Shale- 1040
Tar (new)- 490
Mercury- 350
Upgrades people, upgrades!
Because of the sheer size of the ogres, there is more grist scattered about that John will have to get, one of which is in the hole above Dads room. Will we finally get to see the forbidden space? Before he goes gallavanting off, Nanna reminds John to take Sassacres book. Apparently its very important he "give it a read when you have a moment. Particularly the first several pages!" Well that sure isnt suspicious at all. But honestly if it gives us more lore I am all for John plunking himself down right here, right now. But he wont. Its John we're talking about, ya know?
The last bit of their conversation feels like some sort of in joke, especially since John specifically requested "a series of really coy riddles about [his purpose] and then sort of giggle". Like:
NANNASPRITE: When you pass through the first gate, everything will change. You will find the place where the constellations dance beneath the clouds. And then your true work may begin.
NANNASPRITE: Hoo hoo hoo!
JOHN: i suddenly understand everything!
Thats great, John! Because I sure dont!
This boy is gonna be the death of me I just know it.
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amatureish · 1 year ago
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if i tried
as hard as i did
to make you listen
id ace
any test they put in front of me
if i tried
to hold on
as much as
i held onto you
my hands would be covered in blisters
i know
that youve moved on
that we're
supposed to be grown up now
but
it hurts
to think that you dont
that you cant
love me the same way
you used to do
when we were small
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dostoyevsky-official · 2 months ago
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The Elite College Students Who Can’t Read Books
Nicholas Dames has taught Literature Humanities, Columbia University’s required great-books course, since 1998. He loves the job, but it has changed. Over the past decade, students have become overwhelmed by the reading. College kids have never read everything they’re assigned, of course, but this feels different. Dames’s students now seem bewildered by the thought of finishing multiple books a semester. His colleagues have noticed the same problem. Many students no longer arrive at college—even at highly selective, elite colleges—prepared to read books.
This development puzzled Dames until one day during the fall 2022 semester, when a first-year student came to his office hours to share how challenging she had found the early assignments. Lit Hum often requires students to read a book, sometimes a very long and dense one, in just a week or two. But the student told Dames that, at her public high school, she had never been required to read an entire book. She had been assigned excerpts, poetry, and news articles, but not a single book cover to cover.
[...] Twenty years ago, Dames’s classes had no problem engaging in sophisticated discussions of Pride and Prejudice one week and Crime and Punishment the next. Now his students tell him up front that the reading load feels impossible. It’s not just the frenetic pace; they struggle to attend to small details while keeping track of the overall plot.
No comprehensive data exist on this trend, but the majority of the 33 professors I spoke with relayed similar experiences. Many had discussed the change at faculty meetings and in conversations with fellow instructors. [...] Daniel Shore, the chair of Georgetown’s English department, told me that his students have trouble staying focused on even a sonnet.
Failing to complete a 14-line poem without succumbing to distraction suggests one familiar explanation for the decline in reading aptitude: smartphones. Teenagers are constantly tempted by their devices, which inhibits their preparation for the rigors of college coursework—then they get to college, and the distractions keep flowing. “It’s changed expectations about what’s worthy of attention,” Daniel Willingham, a psychologist at UVA, told me. “Being bored has become unnatural.” Reading books, even for pleasure, can’t compete with TikTok, Instagram, YouTube. In 1976, about 40 percent of high-school seniors said they had read at least six books for fun in the previous year, compared with 11.5 percent who hadn’t read any. By 2022, those percentages had flipped.
[...] Mike Szkolka, a teacher and an administrator who has spent almost two decades in Boston and New York schools, told me that excerpts have replaced books across grade levels. “There’s no testing skill that can be related to … Can you sit down and read Tolstoy? ” he said. And if a skill is not easily measured, instructors and district leaders have little incentive to teach it. [...] The pandemic, which scrambled syllabi and moved coursework online, accelerated the shift away from teaching complete works.
[...] But it’s not clear that instructors can foster a love of reading by thinning out the syllabus. Some experts I spoke with attributed the decline of book reading to a shift in values rather than in skill sets. Students can still read books, they argue—they’re just choosing not to. Students today are far more concerned about their job prospects than they were in the past. Every year, they tell Howley that, despite enjoying what they learned in Lit Hum, they plan to instead get a degree in something more useful for their career.
[...] For years, Dames has asked his first-years about their favorite book. In the past, they cited books such as Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre. Now, he says, almost half of them cite young-adult books. Rick Riordan’s Percy Jackson series seems to be a particular favorite.
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reyalvr · 5 months ago
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SHE’S MINE | 00
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CATCH ME, I’VE FALLEN IN LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME.
synopsis ┊ thrust into the spotlight, ken sato had easily become the next big thing tokyo had seen in decades. alongside his fame came the inevitable string of rumors, of which sprung forth scandals and discrediting information against his image. of course the obvious and most rational solution would be to address them like every other celebrity, but this was ken sato; nothing would ever be rational with him, which is how you wound up with a ring on your finger and the sato name in your papers.
genre ┊ fake dating, fake marriage, idiots-to-lovers, friends-to-lovers, mild angst, chaotic fluff, smut
pairing ┊ ken sato x fem-PA!reader, ken sato x fake-wife!reader
warnings ┊ mild cursing, eventual smut, mentions of alcohol, all events in ultraman: rising take place a year after kenji moves back to japan, RUMORS isn’t related to anything that happens in this series
word count ┊ 798
author’s note ┊ YAY i finally wrote it! i really love the fake dating/marriage convenience trope and i’ve been itching to write it with kenji. this is highly inspired by one my favorite books of all time, terms & conditions by lauren asher! if you enjoy fake dating i highly recommend reading it. as mentioned at the top, this is only the prologue! i'll be putting out part one and the series masterlist asap hehe... as always, happy reading!
prev. | next
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SOMETIMES YOU WONDERED IF ANYTHING YOU SAID EVER STUCK WITH KEN. For the past year and a half, you had the supposed “dream life” that every assistant yearned for. It confused you, really, as you tried to ponder on what part of your job was envious. Were the late nights drafting NDA breaches so desirable? What about the press statements after altercations, were those résumé worthy? You let out a deep sigh as you watched Ken from the TV in his dressing room, crossing your arms as you sunk deeper into the couch.
He was on a press tour for his latest collaboration, his overconfident persona charming everyone left and right. You had to physically stop yourself from rolling your eyes when he used his signature flair to charm the show’s host. At least he was sticking to the script… for the most part. He wore the product, threw in a few adlibs, and of course, flirted. Be it a talk show host or a random photographer on the street, Ken always found a way to leave people smitten with him- save except you. 
It’s not like you were actively trying to hate him, he just made it so easy. At first you thought it was just some awkward phase, like he was just trying to adjust to working with a new team. But then he just kept doing the same things over and over again. A brawl with an opposing team member? Just another Sunday night. A rumor about having a fling with yet another supermodel? Sounds just about right. 
“I mean of course I have to thank my team,” Ken’s voice cut through your train of thought. “It was a dream of mine to play for the Giants as a kid, now I actually get to do it.”
Tone it down, asshole. You thought to yourself, noting the sarcasm laced in his words. Of course the general public wouldn’t have caught on, but you had no doubt his coach and the other players would. Then again, he’d been relatively untouchable because of his rank in the sports world. You poked your tongue into your cheek, shaking your head as you sat through the rest of his interview. The clock on the wall counted down the remaining time, the bright red numbers casting a reflection on the screen. Two minutes left, and all he had to do was to keep the act up…
…Until he didn’t. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what was about to happen next. 
“Now I don’t want to hold here any longer, but you know I have to ask it,” The host teased, almost like an overexcited child ready to tattle. “Any special someone back home?” 
Ken chuckled, just like he usually did when asked the question. “Cheeky question,” He paused and grinned, his eyebrow raised slightly as he shrugged his shoulders. “What if there was?” 
“Well, is there?” The host pushed, his tone eager to have the Ken Sato answer such a juicy question. He gestured toward the crowd before he continued. “I mean there are a lot of fans here today who would love to know more…” 
“Yeah? And if I said yes, then what?” He replied, his smile growing brighter and his eyes shining. 
The crowd cheered even harder, itching to find out the truth. You shared the same sentiments, trying to figure out what the hell Ken was up to now. Did he have a girlfriend? If he did, why didn’t anyone know about it? You stood up straight now, your right hand deathly gripping the remote. What the hell do you have up your sleeve, Kenji Sato? Your inner voice seemed to yell as you waited for him to speak up. 
“I mean only time will tell, yeah?” The host replied, leaning back in his seat. “C’mon Ken, it’s not nice to keep secrets.”
Ken mimicked the host’s moves, leaning back into his sofa chair as well. He shrugged his shoulders, licking his lips as he fiddled with his fingers. He bit the inside of his cheek, and though it was brief you caught it. You knew that look; his look of contemplation. Your grip on the remote was still taut as your breathing seemed to quicken the longer he waited. Granted it was only a few seconds, but those seconds felt like hours. 
He tilted his head slightly then, his eyes staring directly at the camera. It slowly zoomed closer to focus entirely on him, and he let out a small laugh before he finally replied. His gaze was strong, and it almost felt like he was actually looking at you.
“Yeah, yeah I do.” He finally said, throwing in a lovesick smile for good measure. “And she’s the best damn thing in my life right now.”
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reyalvr © 2024 … do not repost, alter, or steal my work.
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whytheylosttheirminds · 2 months ago
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Don't Call Me Kid - prologue
(Rafe Cameron x Reader, series, 3k words)
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series summary: You'd had a crush on Rafe Cameron since you were six years old, but he friend zoned you at every turn. Once shy and insecure, you found new confidence and self-love after high school. When your high school friends go on a reunion beach trip, Rafe finally sees what he lost, but he isn't going to give you up without a fight.
tropes: unrequited crush, glow up, she fell first/he fell harder
content: some angst, eventual fluff, slow burn, tomfoolery and shenanigans, drinking, fem!reader has occasional insecurity and body image issues
⇢ series masterlist
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Your mom called you a late bloomer, and even though you always hated the way she said it, so full of pity and condescension, you couldn’t argue that she was wrong. You were a late bloomer, physically and socially. Your whole childhood and into your teen years, you were painfully insecure, so you tended to hide and shy away from situations that would stretch your comfort zone. You had a good childhood growing up on the ritzy side of the island. But nothing ever felt…complete. You always had this nagging feeling that something was missing, or rather, that you were missing something.
Your older sister, Carter, was the exact opposite of you. She knew who she was from the day she could walk. She developed physically years before you did, even though she was only 18-months your senior. In school, Carter was one grade ahead of you. Everyone knew her, and everyone loved her. She played sports, won class president four years in a row, and was the obsession of every boy in every grade. She was the best known girl on the island, and you were best known as Carter’s sister.
All of these things should’ve been reasons for you to resent her, for the two of you to compete and grow a bitter rivalry, but you were best friends from the start. Carter never made you feel left out or left behind, folding you into her friend group from the time you were kids.
Your mom didn’t have to force Carter to invite you to hang out with her friends, it was always Carter’s idea, dragging you to parties and begging you to keep her company, even though you knew she didn’t need it. She would encourage you to put yourself out there, to leave your books at home and jump in on the fun, assuring you that everyone wanted you around just as much as she did. Carter always saw something in you that you didn’t see in yourself.
From middle school on, Carter casually dated just about every guy in your friend group - Topper, Kelce, several others. She never committed, and they were all fine with having her for just a little bit. There was only one boy she never gave the time of day. The one that she knew was off limits, without you ever really having to tell her, it was just understood.
You had been in love with Rafe Cameron since the moment you first saw him. He was a year above you, in Carter’s grade, and his family lived down the road from yours. You met him on the school bus your first day of kindergarten. 
You were so nervous, your mouth going dry as all the kids on the bus looked at you with judging eyes, but Carter just grabbed your hand and pulled you along with her, plopping you into a vinyl seat a few rows from the back. As soon as you sat down, a pair of blue eyes covered by floppy blond bangs popped up over the seat in front of you.
You noticed him right away, eyes wide as his sudden presence startled you, and your cheeks burned bright red for reasons that you didn’t understand yet. The boy didn’t notice your blushing, his attention fully focused on Carter as he reached his hand over the seat and pulled at her braid.
“Quit it, Rafe!” Carter swatted his hand away. 
The boy, Rafe, smiled, a small dimple creasing his cheek. You weren’t sure why, but you wished more than anything that he was smiling at you instead. After bugging Carter a little longer, his gaze finally shifted over to you and your eyes shot down nervously to your lap.
“Who is that?” Rafe blurted out, talking about but not to you.
You looked at Carter in panic, tongue-tied as you tried to stammer out your name, which you were struggling to remember. Carter noticed your look of desperation, you were so shy and she had gotten used to speaking for you.
“That’s my sister,” Carter said with pride. “She goes to school with us now.”
“Oh, hi,” Rafe said, polite but unimpressed.
“H-hi,” you managed to squeak out, tucking your hair behind your ears, which were burning red.
Rafe disappeared back into his seat. Carter looked at you, noticing how you were nervously biting your lip, your go to tick when you were nervous. She folded her hand protectively in yours and didn’t let go until she dropped you off at your kindergarten classroom.
This is how your interactions with Rafe would go for the rest of elementary school, and middle school, too. He’d ignore you most of the time, tossing you a word or a look here or there, and you’d melt into an absolute puddle everytime. Your tendency to blush at everything he did never went away, meaning everyone knew you loved him.
Your crush was common knowledge among your sister’s friends, hell among the whole school, but no one dared mention it or tease you about it, lest they tempt Carter’s wrath. But they knew, and you knew they knew, and you knew he knew. 
As a freshman, you quickly became first in your class, taking sophomore math and science courses. You ended up in the same first and last period as Rafe, who always struggled in school. After a few weeks of chatting during labs and lending Rafe your notes, you actually started to feel like he had become your friend. He played every sport, and you were right there in the bleachers for every game. Sometimes, when he’d make a great play, he’d look at you in the stands and wink, making your whole body blush, feeling like the most special girl in the world. But then, on his next play, he’d wink at another girl or playfully bow to the cheer squad and it’d make you want to die, suddenly invisible again.
“He’s such a douche,” Carter would nudge you with her elbow, trying to downplay the moment because she knew you were crushed.
You dreaded the day Carter would graduate and leave you at this school alone. You weren’t friends with anyone in your own grade, it seemed the year you were born produced more mean girls and fuck boys than the one before it. Carter would tell you the girls in your grade were just jealous that you got to hang out with her class, but you always thought it was more that they didn’t understand you, and people tend to attack what they don’t understand.
Cassie Bryant was the worst of them. She was the Kook princess of your year, as pretty and popular as anyone could be. From early on, she mastered the art of being mean to you in a way that crushed your spirit but looked totally friendly to everyone else. She’d make backhanded comments like “the way you dress is so…interesting” or “you’re lucky you have so much free time to study, I’m way too busy.” 
She was even worse when Rafe was around. It was like Cassie had a radar for when he was finally giving you some attention, and the second you felt comfortable, she’d be there playfully stealing his baseball hat or pouting at him and saying “Rafey, do you have a J?” Then as she pulled him away, she’d laugh at you and say “it’s okay, we know you’re too cool to smoke with us.” No one saw the smug look she’d shoot you as she hung on his arm. You’d try to explain to Rafe why her words hurt you, but he never understood. He’d just shrug and say “that’s just Cassie, she has no filter.” 
At least Carter believed you. 
“Pick-me bitch,” she’d spit as she watched you watch Cassie steal Rafe away yet again.
You and Rafe saw each other every day. You’d tutor him for tests and help with his homework, you were in advanced classes and he had to retake most of his credits. He’d call you “Einstein” and “smarty pants,” always finding a way to address you without actually using your name. You never thought much of it, convincing yourself that his nicknames were coming from a place of affection. When he wasn’t copying your homework or convincing you to stay up after all of your work was done to help him with his, you found other ways to feel needed. You’d bring him lunch from his favorite spot when he got in-school suspension, bake him brownies before his big games, and give him rides to all his practices since his dad took away his truck so often. 
Every afternoon at 4:45, you’d stop by the gas station across from your school and get a Redbull and protein bar for him, and a bag of your favorite candy for yourself. You’d park by the field house, waiting in your car with his snacks for sometimes a half-an-hour before he decided to stop messing around with his friends and head out. When you’d give him his snack, he’d kiss your cheek and say, “thanks, kid.” Even though it wasn’t really meant to be romantic, you lived for those moments when you could pretend you were his girlfriend, smiling at the way the cheerleaders eyed your car judgmentally when you pulled out of the lot with the Rafe Cameron in your passenger seat.
“He’s just using you,” Carter would say when you got home.
“No he’s not,” you’d shrug, “we’re friends.”
“Sure,” she rolled her eyes. 
Even if Rafe broke your heart everyday, you were fine with it as long as he put it back together the next with some small gesture that made you hope…maybe someday.
Then, in the spring semester of your junior year, his senior year, you were parked outside the field house like usual after one of his baseball practices. You saw his figure emerge from the brick building, his hair wet and clinging to his forehead. You smiled wildly, your heart fluttering every time you saw him, even after all these years. You got his snacks out and set them on the seat for him, ready for your daily thank you.
But he didn’t head for your car like usual, instead he veered toward the group of cheerleaders gathered on the other side of the lot. You frowned, eyes furrowed as you watched him approach the gaggle of girls. When he reached them, he grabbed one of their hands and pulled her out of the huddle. Your heart sank when you realized who it was.
Cassie giggled as Rafe pulled her toward him, the other girls in the circle laughing and catcalling toward them. Clearly everyone in this parking lot knew something you didn’t.
And then he kissed her. 
Rafe pulled away from the kiss, hands still on Cassie’s waist, and watched with confusion as your car peeled out of the parking lot without him.
You didn’t speak to him the whole next week, but he was completely oblivious to your heartbreak, still texting you as if nothing ever happened. 
Thursday, March 23rd
Hey kid, u coming to my game tomorrow? u know I need my good luck charm Read 11:03 pm
Sunday, March 26th
Babyyyyy in drvnk at top’s pick me upppp? :(  Read 2:17 am
 
Tuesday, March 28th
yo dude u got the hw packet done for precal? I’m screwed for tomorrow Read 9:56 pm
You’d stare at the messages for a long time before shoving your phone in your desk drawer or turning it off all together, but always made sure to open the message so he’d know you read it. 
Then you’d cry yourself to sleep. 
Carter would sit in your bed each night, rubbing your back comfortingly, pissed that she couldn’t do more to save you from this hurt, muttering under her breath about how she was gonna kick his ass.
After only a week of unreturned texts and trying to get your attention at school with no luck, Rafe went silent. You thought you’d make him sweat for a few weeks before forgiving him, enough time to show you he cared that you weren’t speaking, but then he did the exact opposite.
“It’s for the best,” Carter tried to convince you. 
Maybe she was right. After you no longer had Rafe in your life, you threw yourself into your schoolwork. You had always been smart, but now that you were more focused on yourself and not him, you were acing every class, top of the honor roll. 
The gang all went their separate ways after graduation. Rafe to UNC Chapel Hill, Carter to Duke, Topper and Kelce to U of Florida. With your sister and her friends gone, you spent senior year alone, but opened acceptance letter after acceptance letter. Rafe faded slowly from your mind as you dreamt out your future. 
Eventually you got the letter you were waiting for, your dream school. The day before you left the island, you promised yourself you wouldn’t miss out on the college experience the way you missed out in high school. 
Then, hundreds of miles away from home, something miraculous happened. Far from the memories of your lonely childhood and Rafe Cameron, you bloomed. You made friends early on, feeling like you may have finally found your people in academia. You picked up intramural sports, now you were the one scoring goals and spiking balls and waving smugly to all your friends in the stands. You dated, and you dated. Never settling on one guy too long, having too much fun to tie yourself down.
Things just clicked so much easier, no longer living in your sister’s shadow, far enough away from all the shy girl stereotypes to explore and figure out who you were on your own terms. And slowly, all thoughts of Rafe Cameron faded from your mind. You only thought of him when he made cameos in your dreams, the high school nightmare variety - late to class, showing up naked on accident, a test you forgot to study for, and Rafe in the parking lot kissing Cassie Bryant. You’d wake up cursing your subconscious and feel off for about half a day, before your fast paced routine in your new city erased his face from your mind again.
You changed physically, too. Though you didn’t really feel any different, Carter would make comments every time you came home for a holiday or event.
“Damn, bitch,” she’d say, looking you up and down and wolf-whistling. 
“Shut up,” you’d roll your eyes, feigning annoyance when it really made your confidence soar. 
She’s just being a supportive sister, you’d tell yourself, clinging to the same insecurity you’d had your whole life. But she wasn’t the only one, boys noticed you now a way they never used to. You hooked up with enough guys to start to feel comfortable with the attention, but whenever you’d draw eyes at college parties or lecture halls, your cheeks would still go bright red, never quite figuring out how to turn off that particular mannerism.
You were almost done with your third year, a plane ticket to head back to North Carolina for Carter’s graduation already purchased. One night, as she showed you options for her graduation outfit on Facetime, she casually threw out, “some of us from Kildare are going to Miami to celebrate graduation.”
“Oh?” You said, not really listening, going over a term paper with a red pen for the fifth time.
“You should come…” she was nervous, trying to say it casually enough that maybe you might not overthink it and just say yes.
“Wait sorry, come where?” You put down your pen and actually looked at the screen, knowing she hated when you were listening without really listening like this.
“Miami,” she repeated. “A few of us are getting an Airbnb on the beach for a week after finals.”
“Who’s us?” You asked. 
“Oh y’know,” she started listing names of her old friends, a lot more people than you expected, your throat tightening with a social anxiety you hadn’t felt in years at thought of being in a room with that many people from high school. “...Jack, Maddie, Sabrina. Topper and Kelce obviously,” she continued, at least ten names deep, going quiet for a moment before adding “...and Rafe.”
“No.” you said simply, propping the phone back up and returning to your paper.
“Oh, come onnnn,” she whined, not at all surprised by your response. “It’s been four years, and you’re thriving now! You can just pretend he’s not there.”
“Yes, exactly,” you snarked at her. “Just as I’m finally thriving, you want me to spend a week stuck in a house with Rafe Cameron. That makes sense.”
“You and I will hang out on the beach the whole time, we don’t even have to talk to him,” she reasoned. “And he can just sit in the corner and look at your hot body and feel like shit for being such a dick to you in high school.”
You laughed a little despite yourself. You’d be lying if you said there wasn’t a part of you that wished he could see you now. Even though you stayed away from Kildare as much as possible and barely went out when you were home, terrified of running into him, you also dreamt of a time you would see him again. New look, new confidence, new you. 
“Hah! You’re thinking about it aren’t you?” Carter said smugly, interrupting your thoughts.
“Maybe,” you said, turning back to your schoolwork.
“I’ll take that as a yes!” she cheered victoriously.
“Or you can take it as a maybe, which is what it is,” you corrected her.
“Pleaseeee?” She begged. “It’s my graduation trip! And I don’t want to be there without you.”
You sighed deeply, weighing all of the pros and cons as you bit your lip. Carter had always been there for you, and if it was so important to her that you make this trip, it was really the least you could do. Plus, she was going abroad for grad school in just a few weeks, and you knew it would be your last chance to spend time with her for a while.
“Fine…I’ll come,” you finally conceded. 
“Yay!” Carter yelped. “Best trip ever!”
“Uh-huh,” you said skeptically. “Best trip ever.”
(Chapter 1)
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a/n: hi, i'm nat and i've struggled with body image and anxiety my whole life and I have been the victim of countless unrequited loves, particularly in my teen years, though the sting never really goes away. writing this series has been really personal to me so far, and i'm having a great time. I hope you like it. ♡
please note, the taglist for this series is currently closed. For updates, follow @whytheylosttheirminds-works and turn on notifs 💕
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heirofnight · 3 months ago
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meddling, pt. 2
pairing: azriel x reader
word count: 1.4k
summary: the next little installment of pure preciousness revolving around these two. no plot, just fluff. azriel is smitten with the idea of doting on reader - he's just pure and sweet and wants to make her life easier. reader wears azriel's sweater, and his heart almost explodes. azriel then rearranges the entire library for reader because she can't reach her favorite books. enjoy!
a/n: thank you so much for all of the love revolving around this little drabble-turned-series! this is another example of me sitting down and just writing until i feel like stopping. no plot, just cutesy fluff. i hope you love it! also lightly edited, sorry for any mistakes. <3
read part one here
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six months ago, you'd arrived at the house of wind. for the first two months, you had gone to great lengths to isolate yourself from the high lord and his family. while you'd had no initial negative feelings towards the group, you'd prioritized cultivating a peaceful environment for yourself after the past you'd so narrowly escaped from. this involved keeping to yourself, finding solace in the private library a few doors down from your rooms, and not speaking to anyone else.
four months ago, you'd been tricked into attending your first family dinner in the dining hall on the second floor. funnily enough, the house itself - along with one of az's stray little shadows - were the reasons why you'd ended up frozen in the archway of the dining room, every instinct in your body screaming at you to flee to your chambers. after polite coaxing from rhys, and encouraging nods from azriel, you'd felt welcomed as a new member of the tight-knit inner circle by the end of the meal.
you still found yourself looking back on that evening and smiling fondly.
now, this evening, you were perched on your favorite chair within the library, book in hand. you'd cycled through several different series over the last few months, and tonight, you were beginning a new trilogy that you'd found tucked at the top of your go-to shelf. the tall, wooden display of books contained a myriad of novels in every genre you could imagine. you struggled to reach the top row of books, which - of course - contained your favorite genre: romance. you briefly wondered if the males that resided here had sequestered books about love in this hard-to-reach spot on purpose. you'd had to grab a footstool and still stand on your tip-toes to reach the novels you'd desired.
alas, you'd finally grabbed them - all three at once, to save yourself the exertion of all but climbing the entire shelf when it was time to move onto the other two books in a few days.
you were snuggled comfortably in your favorite armchair, large droplets of rain pelting the side of the library's windows. it was dark, gloomy, and the perfect reading weather. a fire burned brightly within the hearth across from you, warming your legs and toes. dim fae lights and candles flickered a relaxing glow into the space.
you nuzzled into an oversized, lived-in, charcoal grey sweater. it belonged to azriel - well, it had - and his scent still lingered as if it were woven into the threads themselves.
he'd silently approached you last week, same sweater folded neatly in his hands, politely extending the fabric your way. you'd abandoned the focus on the book in front of you to meet his gaze, brows cinching together in silent confusion.
"you said you were always cold," he started, voice quiet. he always spoke to you so quietly. gently. and he wasn't wrong, you truly were always freezing - a fact the house had learned, too. it made sure to always have the hearth burning in any room you were occupying.
you smiled fondly up at him, nodding once. "i'm surprised you remember that, az," you said, a faint rosiness creeping onto your cheeks. he noticed your blush, and it made the corner of his full lips quirk upward.
he huffed out a quiet breath in response, extending the sweater a little further towards you. "i thought maybe this would help. i don't ever really need it - illyrian blood, you know. i'm always warm. anyway, i understand if you don't want it. but i promise it's clean, and when i have worn it, it's always kept me warm. so...-," he trailed off, realizing he was rambling, full of nerves. now it was his turn for his cheeks to turn pink, and he cleared his throat, breaking the eye contact.
a wide grin spread across your cheeks as you reached forward to take the large, soft sweater from his hands. "thank you, az. really. this is perfect," you whispered shyly, holding the fabric against your chest. he smiled proudly, a dimple peeking out.
and that was that - he walked over to his preferred spot within the library, wings perked in pride. he made himself comfortable with a book of his own, and you both read in silent companionship.
tonight, you'd adorned that same sweater as you let the sound of the rain outside become the soundtrack to your escapism. out of your peripheral, one lone shadow twirled through the door of the library - your favorite little tendril. you glanced up as it approached you, swirling around your right hand as it always did in greeting. you smirked, knowing its master was not too far behind.
sure enough, in strode azriel shortly after - the rest of his shadows lazily twining around his form. his eyes found you immediately, and his steps faltered as he realized you were wearing his clothing. that dimple made another appearance as he smiled shyly, cocking an eyebrow upward.
"keeping you warm?," he asked, taking in how cozy and well, adorable you looked like that. in his clothing. reading a book in the candlelight. azriel was in trouble, and he knew it.
you nodded, sitting up straighter as you took him in. his hazel eyes were nearly glowing. "very. it's my new prized possession," you smiled, and that comment nearly made azriel's heart burst.
he hummed, quite pleased. "good. it looks like it was made for you," and he meant every word. maybe he should give you every piece of oversized, warm clothing he owned. they looked far better on you, anyway.
you looked back at the open pages of your book, smiling, trying to hide the blush creeping from your neck up to your cheeks. he noticed anyway - he noticed everything.
"how's that one?," he nodded his chin towards the book in your hand as he got comfortable in his own armchair. his wings spread behind him in a relaxed fashion.
"oh, i can't put it down," you sighed, looking up at him once more.
he hummed, glancing around at the tall spread of novels that surrounded the both of you. "i've never seen it on the shelves", he mused, brows furrowed as he studied the closed cover of your book.
you took a sip of your tea, snorting in jest after you swallowed. "probably because it's tucked away on the highest shelf in here," you huffed a laugh, rolling your eyes fondly. "i had to use a step stool, and even then, i barely reached it."
he nodded once, studying you for a moment. he looked as though he was pondering something. the moment ended quickly, his own eyes averting to the pages in the open book before him.
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the next day, you'd entered the library after breakfast - as always. what surprised you is that you weren't alone like you normally were around this time.
azriel was already there, positioned in front of your favorite shelf, pulling every single romance book down from the top row.
"...az?," you questioned quietly, trying not to startle him. "what are you doing?," you stepped forward, peering up at him. his large hands held a stack of books, most of which you'd already read.
he turned towards you, cheeks quickly tinting pink. "oh, y/n," he paused for a moment, looking from the stack in his hands and up to the top shelf before meeting your eyes.
"well, you said that the books you enjoyed were too high. so.... i rearranged a couple of shelves to make sure they were at a height you could reach," he smiled bashfully.
you froze in place, taking in the entire scene before you. and sure enough, he'd already moved most of the romance novels. and beyond that, he'd also relocated them to a shelf that was right next to your favorite chair. you could literally just reach over from where you normally sat, easily plucking your next choice from the row without having to move.
you smiled widely up at him, eyes twinkling, and he swore his heart was going to swell and float right out of his chest.
"az," you breathed out, "can i hug you?," you blurted, overcome with emotion.
he huffed out a laugh, carefully setting the stack of books in his large hands down beside him. he nodded then, opening his arms for you.
you stepped into his large frame, and he stilled for a moment. he shifted to hold you tightly, and his wings twitched with the sudden urge to wrap around you too. his arms didn't feel like enough, you should be closer.
instead, he settled for moving one hand to the back of your head, cradling you against his chest. he smiled to himself, another wave of pride flowing through his chest and limbs.
he could get used to this.
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tag list: @stressed-reader @vhjlucky13 @scarsandallaz @victory-salads @weirdo-fun
if you'd like to be added, pls let me know <3
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niallandtommo · 2 years ago
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monzabee · 7 months ago
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mr. big (social media au) - cs55
masterlist ||
Summary: The one where there he was, wearing armani on a sunday, your boyfriend, Carlos.
Pairing: carlos sainz x romance writer!reader (model used: random people i found on pinterest)
Warnings: none other than some cursing? carlos being an old money dream as always
Request: "For a smau, would love to see romance writer!reader with Carlos (he is just Disney prince vibes) where fans aren’t quite sure how they got together but the influence him on her work is greatly appreciated" by my lovely @percervall
Author note: OKAY JUST REALISED I AM A CARRIE AND BIG APOLOGIST, WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT (i might be freaking out about them, but i will always be a charlotte girl)!!! (might honestly turn it into a series because who doesn't love a satc x old money crossover???)
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.
yourusername
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Liked by carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, readersdigest and 438,927 others.
yourusername: busy, busy, busy bee.
user: thank you mother for feeding us with another hot billionaire novel
yourusername: you are more than welcome
user: how is she not only one of the best romance authors, but also a fashion icon??
user: can't wait to read what carlos inspired this time!!
carlossainz55: you are not wearing you glasses again, cariño
yourusername: why don't you come put them on yourself??
user: oh, they are so cute it's sickening
user: GIVE US THE MANUSCRIPT AND END OUR SUFFERING
view all 2,387 comments.
user: how did they get together again??
user: i think he ran into her at one of her book signings in madrid?
user: i thought it was when she went to the paddock for some good old r&d?
user: i heard somewhere that a friend set them up
yourusername posted a new story!
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carlossainz55 posted a story!
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yourusername
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Liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, goodreads and 682,928 others.
yourusername: life lately & "between love and loathing" out june 23rd.
user: we love the romantic getaway, and a new book!!
user: we're being fed in more ways than one, and i am not complaining at all!!
user: oh shit, we're about to read the best romance novel of all time
view all 13,726 comments.
carlossainz55: i'm so proud of you, you have no idea
yourusername: way to make me cry
yourusername: i love you though
carlossainz55: te quiero más
user: I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY ARE THE OLD MONEY COUPLE WE NEEDED ALL ALONG AND WE DON'T KNOW HOW THEY STARTED DATING
user: it will remain forever a mystery
user: but at least we have content to keep us going through these hard times
carlossainz55
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Liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 977,520 others.
carlossainz55: one of us made the pancakes, and one of us stood there looking pretty.
yourusername: hey, it was your turn to make breakfast
carlossainz55: and i loved every second of it
yourusername: even doing the dishes?
carlossainz55: especially doing the dishes
user: this is by far the most romance book thing this man has done
user: i still don't understand how they started dating, but good for them i guess
view all 35,726 comments.
landonorris: hey, i didn't get any pancakes, did you? @charles_leclerc
charles_leclerc: didn't even know we were having pancakes, where are our pancakes @carlossainz55
landonorris: and cooking in a towel?? how is that sanitary??
charles_leclerc: he's breaking at least a dozen health codes
carlossainz55: i hate you both
yourusername: you are all a pr nightmare
scuderiaferrari: i agree
user: damn he got lucky
yourusername
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Liked by f1wagss, carlossainz55, sarahjessicaparker and 736,928 others.
yourusername: and there he was, wearing armani on a sunday, carlos sainz.
user: SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
user: what kind of an iconic cunt slay is this
user: and just like that... they became the coolest couple on the internet
user: NEW NOVEL IDEA, SEX AND THE CITY RETELL WITH CARLOS
user: girl wtf
yourusername: no let her cook
yourusername: you might be onto something here
user: don't know if i want to be her or be carlos
view all 44,736 comments.
user: everybody say thank you mom for blessing us
carlossainz55: amor
yourusername: amor x2
user: oh she's working overtime god bless you
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1K notes · View notes
artytaeh · 3 months ago
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THEODORE NOTT HAS A LOT OF MONEY. and even though that's a relief that indulges his own impulsive spendings to pamper himself, it still doesn't feel like he properly makes use of it.
the large bookshelf on his bedroom, at the nott mansion, might suggest otherwise.
( what? theodore enjoys special editions; no, it's not silly to want a first edition of one of his older favorites, or a hard cover version with a better illustration, really. much less having paid more for a book on his native language, given that he's in london, a bit too far away from the city he was born, millan. )
but then, ah— there it is! the reason why his family's ridiculous wealth makes sense, now!
because what theodore nott lacks in a few matters, such as communication or spending a lot of time with you, when he needs his time alone, he'll compensate like this.
one might perceive this as a heartless, uncaring way to press bandaids over emotional wounds; believe me, it couldn't be farther than this.
theodore just likes to see you smile, and given that his black card is a means to such an end, well, why not?
things are just things; but things do bring happiness, so yes, you can buy happy feelings!
theodore would love to know if you collect something— mugs? he's bringing a new one for you, now paying extra special attention to crockery themed stores. snowglobes? there's this one he found, with a charm to it! if there's a comic series you like, theodore would discreetly surprise you every week with a new volume.
only for you to go and break his heart, standing in front of his door with his gifts in arms, extending them for theodore to take it back.
cluelessly, and looking a bit like a kicked puppy, theodore frowns. are you angry at him? isn't this the type of thing you like? should you reassure him that your only issue is the excessive money spent on you, theodore feels like a weight left his shoulders.
huff; so, he does know how to please his girlfriend and what she likes!
... but why are you rejecting him? 'hey, bella, don't offend me— this isn't going to empty nott's vault any time soon.'
should his puppy eyes work, well then, you're doomed.
because theodore will use this same excuse over and over again, when he brings another thing that reminds him of you. what? you mentioned that you like coats like these! it's a color you like to wear, and you'll need warm clothes like that in a matter of weeks!
do you not like his gifts? theodore will give you a look that, if you didn't know better about his cynical shenanigans, you'd believe that his heart was being shattered to pieces.
that's the reason why dates at hogsmeade are so dangerous. i'm being serious— you might as well keep your eyes on the road, stare at the snow beneath your feet, because if you spend more than four seconds staring at something inside a shop...
there isn't time to process anything else; theodore's mind works fast. you saw it, you seem to like it, he's buying it. in a blink of an eye, theodore already has his card between his index and middle finger, nonchalantly making his way inside.
'can't a man spoil his girl? goddamn it, dolcezza.'
clothes are almost worse. if he sees something that you're staring at, and likes it, theodore is putting so much (discreet. not so discreet,) effort into convincing you to let him buy it for you.
'you'd look good in it. see, it's a color you like, it would look really good, given your skin tone.' and then, he takes a different approach: 'trying it on doesn't hurt, right?'
a cruel plan, you see, because then you fall in love with this dress, as much as theodore fell in love with the idea of you wearing such pretty clothes.
his arms embrace your waist, like a snake slowly trapping its victim; the fabric feels right under his skin, the dress looking as if it was sketched for you, fitting better than a glove.
theodore rests his chin on your shoulder, holding back a smirk as he sees you mourning the idea of leaving the dress here— it's just so pretty! and theodore's compliments don't help!
🗯️ : but teddy, it's really cold these days. i wouldn't be able to wear it, anyways.
t : and that's why we learned simple warming charms during third year.
🗯️ : sure, but— i don't have where to use it, so it's not worth it if it's just going to look pretty in my dresser.
t : no worries, bambina. i'll think about a perfect date for you to wear this, looking so pretty for me. bellissima, la mia bella ragazza.
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NO USE IN ARGUING WITH HIM; theodore nott always wins these rounds. the battle is won, and the war is benefitting his side.
even if you do not let him spoil you with such impulsive thoughts and freedom, theodore would never, for the life of him, let you pay for a single coffee or meal while you're with him.
lunches at hogsmeade are a favorite of his. obviously, he's paying. this slytherin doesn't joke about the topic; will give you the biggest side eye if you take out your wallet.
who do you think he is? his mother raised a man that knows how to treat a girl right, and a good boyfriend! no way in hell is any soul at hogsmeade, scotland, europe— hell, galaxy!— considering that he's not taking care of his amata ragazza properly.
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ALL IN ALL, THEODORE FINDS IT SWEET how much you worry over it, and insist that he could spend this same money on things that he likes.
but that's what you fail to understand— what theodore likes, more than a new book with a promising synopsis, or an exquisite astrolobe— is seeing you smile for something that he got you.
﹙★﹚ won't give you gifts to earn his forgiveness earlier, though. he wants his presents to feel like he genuinely thought you'd like it, not as a bargain or bribery.
anyways, i love this man. 🌷
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macfrog · 4 months ago
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birth of venus sex on fire chapter twelve
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these two mean the world to me. thank you for coming on this journey with them. i hope you enjoy.
pairing: ceo!joel x fem!reader
summary: if you love something, you let it go.
warnings: age gap (reader is late 20s, joel late 40s), workplace relationship, imbalance of power dynamic, alcohol consumption, lurve, fingering, masturbation, cum eating, oral (m receiving), unprotected piv, creampie, size kink, daddy kink, praise kink, cursing, some angst, soft!joel, cocky!joel (we missed him!)
word count: 12.6k
series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist | follow @macfroglets w notifs on to be the first to hear when i post 💚
“Alright, let’s get into it.”
He sits on the other side of the table, legs crossed and balancing the notebook on his knee. Twirls a pen around his thumb, catching it without looking. He’s too busy scanning the page in front of him, the list of questions he’s about to drill you on.
Let’s get into it, he says, and then stares silently at the scribbled lines.
Your shadow splits a shard of sunlight across the office. Knee jerking, palms clammy and fingers twisting around each other. You glance down at your outfit – the pointed heels Martha swore went with your dress, the jewelry she promised didn’t look tacky – and straighten your skirt.
Let’s get fucking into it.
“What are your responsibilities in your current role?” he asks.
You swallow. It feels like sandpaper. “Well, uh…”
He doesn’t look up. Not to ask the question, not to wait for your answer. Just stares down, spins the pen, bites his lip until it turns white.
Focused. Razor sharp. You’re not even in the same room.
You turn on your heel and begin pacing. “I manage my boss’s schedule, from nine a.m. Monday to nine p.m. Sunday. I get everything in order, plan out his days, make any bookings. I take calls, I answer emails, I…”
He’s still not looking. He bounces his foot, leather shoes catching the sun. His watch face leers back at you. There’s not a mark of ink on the paper in front of him.
“Hey,” you click your fingers, “Are you even listening to me?”
Joel shakes the frown from his face. “Huh? Oh,” he clears his throat, straightens in his creaky chair, “Yeah, I’m listenin’. I’m…I’m here.”
“Come on, man,” you huff, “You said you’d help me out.”
“And I am. I’m helping you out.”
You glower. “What did I just say?”
His shoulders wriggle. “You know…paperwork, and…Is this –? Is this really what they’re going to ask?”
“I don’t know,” you groan, collapsing into the couch opposite. Your arms cross, like some crumpled tantrum of a woman. “I found it online. They’re all art director questions, supposedly.”
He turns the notebook around. The first sheet flops over.
“Describe yourself in three words,” Joel recites.
“I was gonna go creative,” you count on your fingers, “driven, and then I couldn’t decide between perceptive or observant.”
He squints, tongue clicking against his teeth. He stares at your raised fingers. Thoroughly unimpressed.
“Right,” he stands, “Yeah, I don’t know, kid. A company like this, taking on a new art director, and this is what you think they got waitin’ for you? I mean, what’d I ask you?”
You scoff, twisting to watch him cross over to the window.
Between the sun and your deflated spirit, he stands like some kind of god. High up on the top floor of his skyscraper, towering over the streets. Towering over you.
He’s haloed by the blazing sun. Light arrowing from behind, spilling all over his wide shoulders and dipping in every fold and crease of cashmere. The northern compass point, the magnetic pull turning everything towards him.
Joel’s fingers snap, a hair away from your nose. “Tip number one: don’t stare at the interviewer like that. Asked you a question.”
“Wasn’t staring,” you mumble, shifting when he sinks down at your side. “You really don’t remember what you asked me?”
“Of course I do. I’m asking if you do.” He fiddles with a thread on the couch at your back.
You straighten as though his hand might be iron hot. “I remember…remember you asking what success looked like to me.”
Joel nods once.
“Remember you asking why I wanted out of my old job.”
“Yep.”
You flick a finger around the office. “I remember you asking what I’d change in here. How I’d make the office better. But I don’t know what interior design has to do with being an art director, Joel.”
He smiles. “This,” he shakes the pad, “is generic bullshit.”
“Generic bullshit,” you echo, pinching it from his grasp. You read over the bullet points – your strengths, your weaknesses, how you do under pressure.
“Yes,” Joel says. “Doesn’t tell ‘em a thing about you. Well,” his eyes widen, “I guess it tells them you tried searching their damn questions, the morning of the interview.”
A small, tired sigh falls from your lips. You melt back into the couch, horizontal under Joel’s extended arm. “I just want to be prepared,” you whisper. “I want to be the best person they meet.”
“What makes you think you ain’t already?”
“Well, for starters, I don’t even know which three words describe me.”
He chuckles. “How about more than capable? Hm? The dream assistant. Future art director.”
“Cheesy,” you mutter, batting him away. “I just…I really want it. I want something that feels like mine, you know? And I know I’d be fucking good at it.”
He falls quiet. He thumbs the corner of the pages, knuckles brushing against yours in a way that feels deliberate. Feels familiar.
It’s as though he might turn his hand, open his palm for yours to slip safely into. Lock his fingers through yours, squeeze once for good luck, twice to double it – and a third time, to tell you something he knows would make you flee.
But you don’t flinch, and neither does he.
Instead, he pulls himself up – a mighty groan as he straightens.
You bite back a snark about his age. Stupid fifty-year-old boss, stupid old bones. Stupid smartass.
Joel whips open the bottom drawer of his desk – the one you’d come to know as his junk drawer – and heaps diary after diary on the mahogany surface. Their leatherbound covers and splintered spines, the warped pages packed between.
With a tiny ha (and a click in his joints that you notice even from across the room), he pushes himself back up.
“September, September…” the pages flutter between his thumbs, “…September second, right?”
“What are you –?”
“Here,” he says, and reclines back beside you. He slides the diary into your lap. “September second, two o’clock.”
Your eyes narrow, following an inky trail linking geometric sketches and games of tic-tac-toe; the words college and assistant, a crude drawing of a house.
“So…” your lips purse, “…on September second, you were doing no work and doodling in your planner. What about it, Joel?”
He taps the top of the page, finger settling right below a name.
Penned in his neat handwriting – the trademark font that, after three years, you’re used to finding on sticky notes and signed with the letter J. It’s underlined, then boxed in by more scribbled lines. So familiar, you barely even take it in at first.
You blink twice.
It’s your name. Your full name.
“This is the day of my interview?” you ask.
Joel dares one fleeting glance at your lips. “Mhm. These are the notes I took, the day we met.”
You look down to the diary and back again. Almost an entire page of nonsense scribbles, hieroglyphic trains of thought bleeding from one drawing into another.
You frown. “You really didn’t listen to a fucking word I said, did you?”
He chokes on a laugh, shaking his head. “You had the job before your ass hit that chair, genius. All that interview was, was playing ball. Seeing how hard you could swing.”
But you’re more confused than you were before he emptied his desk. You flick through the book, spine dangling loose from the pages.
There are no other notes, no other candidates’ names – only reminders for Lunch with Mom and Massage 10AM. Meetings with past clients, deadlines long gone. One obnoxious, hot pink gel pen autograph in May, marking Martha’s birthday.
Yours is the only name he bothered to jot down. The only interview he thought to memorialize – in a gallery of distracted doodles.
“What are you talking about?” you ask.
He plays with his tie as he admits it. Nervous schoolboy, avoiding your eye like he did back on Maple Street. It’s a side to him you didn’t know existed, not until a few weeks ago – and seeing it again, you realize how much you missed it.
“There were four other interviews before yours. Every single one of them sat in that lobby waiting for Martha to call down. You –” he taps your hand, “– you got in the elevator and brought yourself up. You remember how shocked Martha was to see you?”
Sure I do, you think.
She stared you down the entire walk over to her desk. She stuttered and stammered her way through a sentence, once she realized who you were. She kept peering over the top of her monitor to steal glances at you when she thought you weren’t looking.
“I…I just thought I looked a nervous wreck,” you tell Joel.
He hums. “Well, you stood up when I opened my door. You held your hand out first. You were scared shitless – I knew you were – but you never lost your footing. You got no idea just how impressive you are, all by yourself.”
He taps on the sheets in your lap. “Now – find me a question on your list that tells them all that.”
It’s not as if you don’t know how these things go. You’ve sat in on plenty of interviews with Joel before – catching anything each quivering candidate says that might’ve slipped through his net, placing bets with yourself on who he’ll pick.
After a few months, he started asking what you thought.
You came to notice the discarded resumes of men you’d deemed sycophants, ladder-climbing leeches in tight, tawny ties – in piles to be shredded. There wasn’t a suit in the building that you and Martha hadn’t been asked to screen, before they were even considered for hiring.
Joel has the sharpest bullshit detector you’ve ever known. You don’t get to where he is without the radar for it. He knew exactly which guys were assholes of the highest order – he was just making sure you always did, too.
Stupid, stupid smartass.
A polite knock at the door interrupts your thought.
“Joel?” Martha calls, “Joel, your ten o’clock is here.”
He curses under his breath. His eyes shift sideways. “Who the hell is my ten o’clock?” he mumbles.
“Salazar,” you whisper, lips closing around a giggle. “Quarterly, remember?”
“Goddamn it,” he groans. He stands up, holding a hand out to pull you to your feet. “I’m sorry, darlin’. I’ll be an hour, tops. We can pick straight back up.”
“It’s okay,” you slot the diary and notepad under your arm, “I should get back to work anyways.”
“Calmed your nerves, at least?”
You smile. “Sure.”
“Liar.”
“Tip number two: don’t ask dumb questions, Miller.”
“Oh,” he scoffs, “We’re starting a list now?”
“Mhm. Three can be: don’t doodle during the interview.”
He elbows you towards the door, leaning close. “Four,” he murmurs, “Don’t get yourself fired.”
You grin as you slip outside.
“You couldn’t handle this place without me.”
Mr. Salazar loves to tell a story.
Joel’s still stuck with him, almost two hours after the guy showed up. With a pointed finger and something that felt as sacred as a blood oath, Martha made you promise you’d leave on time.
Whether we’re still in that office or halfway to Timbuktu, do not wait up. Just go, alright? Or I will hand you your ass, sweetheart.
Thirty minutes out, you’re pacing back and forth. Body humming with jittery nerves, what feels like a glass ball of anxiety rolling around your stomach. A text from Rand weighing down the phone in your blazer pocket: Ready when you are.
You suck in a ticklish breath. “Fuck,” you exhale, jamming your knuckle into the call button for the third time.
The wall rumbles as it delivers the elevator straight ahead. The doors part, and your distorted reflection stares sheepishly back at you.
You blink.
She blinks back.
Your shoulders life with another fractured inhale – and so do hers.
Some tiny, half-there version of yourself. Shrunken and shriveled. She moves when you move, only with half the confidence and double the pressure on her shoulders. She looks like she needs a wine date with Martha.
Scared fucking shitless, you think. Three words to describe me.
The doors close again, swallowing her whole, and –
“Nope,” you decide, spinning on your heel.
The shades are tilted enough to obscure the three figures to shadows: Joel, rocking mindlessly in his chair, Salazar talking with his arms, and Martha hunched at the other end of the couch – losing the will to live.
She’d probably welcome the excuse, to get the hell out of there.
Your knuckles rap against the door.
The investor’s lively cadence never slips – where there’s an audience, there’s a show to be had. He twitters on even over the grounding bass of Joel’s voice, the quick click of Martha’s heels.
Her shadow crosses over to the door and she whips it open. Her voice is a sharp whisper.
“You swore to me, you’d –”
You shake your head and grab her arm. Nervous, you mouth, trying to pull her over the threshold.
She won’t fucking budge. She plants herself in the doorway. Her chin lifts, eyes narrowing to study you down her pointed nose – and then she glances over her shoulder.
One second, she exaggerates the shape of the words, holding a finger up.
“Martha –” you hiss, but the door is already closing, and her shadow is already retreating.
You spin around, dragging yourself over to your desk. Another breathe squeezes past your hammering heart, trembling as you let it go. Your phone buzzes again.
This is pathetic. It’s pitiful. You bulldozed your way this far – against all your good sense. Red wine antidote, all that courage now feels more like a weak-kneed hangover.
You fiddle with a pen holder. Your body feels flimsy like rubber.
The door opens again.
“Hey,” Joel says, turning you to face him. He doesn’t look you in the eye – just slips your purse from your shoulder, squeezes your hand. “Walk with me.”
“No,” you wobble in his grasp, “Your meeting –”
He links his arm through yours, locking elbows. “Martha’s got him talking about some ski trip. We got ten minutes. Walk with me.”
Your breath sputters. “I can’t – I can’t do it.”
“Can’t do what?”
“I’m flapping, Joel.”
“Flapping,” he repeats, and the word never sounded more ridiculous than it does with his Texan twang. “What are we flapping over?”
He sways as he walks. It’s no different, no less comfortable than it was a few weeks ago. Just you, Joel, and the Parisian sunset. The light swimming in the Seine, the sweet air circling you both.
Your heel scuffs against the carpet. “You know,” you catch yourself, “just this potentially life-changing job interview I have in, like, twenty minutes.”
“Huh,” his brows quirk, “No big deal, then?”
Your eyes roll. “It wouldn’t be, if you hadn’t given me some big speech about not losing my footing. Now look at me. I’m all over the goddamn place.”
“Take it in baby steps,” he says. “Let’s just get you there first. All you gotta do is walk in like you’re already part of the furniture. Like they’ve been wondering what goes at that little desk.”
“You said the CEO is nice?”
“She is,” he reaches for the call button, “Likes red wine and racecars.”
Your brows flinch. “She likes…What?”
Joel smirks. “I didn’t say we talked for long. That’s all I got on her.”
He drags you into the elevator, hitting the button marked P. Your reflection stands a little taller, little straighter next to his. Mimicking his posture; the still stance and level head. The coolness you’re sure wouldn’t slip even if the world ended tonight.
“Look at that,” he mutters. “You made it to the elevator.”
“Shock,” you whisper, hugging yourself.
You face each other, inches apart. Nerves and momentum upsetting your equilibrium. The bones of the building drum up your spine as you plummet, floor numbers blinking down to zero.
Joel rests his ankles either side of yours. He knocks your feet softly, smiling fondly when you lift your head.
“Read over their website on the drive over,” he says, in the same polite voice he uses with clients. “Their values, the way they operate. Names and faces, all that shit. Keep it fresh, okay?”
You force your cheeks into a flat smile. “Okay.”
“Look at that,” he says. “Killer smile. Getcha any job anywhere.”
“Gross,” you giggle. “Did you wonder, before you found me?”
“Did I wonder what?”
You tilt your head. “What went at my little desk.”
He itches his nose, laughing into a closed fist. He’s blushing, though he’s trying hard to hide it. “Sure,” he shrugs, eventually giving in, “Knew it must be somethin’ pretty special. And you were.”
The elevator dings, and the doors rattle open.
Joel taps your heel and you sulk, leading him out into the garage.
Rand catches sight of you instantly. He jumps out of the Rolls, a wide grin on his lips, and balls his fists. “How we feelin’?” he asks, giving them a hearty shake.
“Little nervous, aren’t we?” Joel replies, patting your arm. “But we’re almost there.”
You’re holding onto him again. He doesn’t seem to mind.
“We’re still in the building,” you utter, tracking Rand’s kiddy jog around the car.
Joel turns, lips at your temple. “Closer than you were five minutes ago, baby.”
The driver grabs the door, turning his palm to usher you inside. “Figure we’ll get there with ten minutes to spare. Always good to be early to these things, right?”
If it weren’t for the six-inch heels on your feet and the seven-figure man on your arm, you’d reach to tighten backpack straps that aren’t there. It’s the same feeling: first day of school, walking into the unknown. Pushed off by grownups who know better.
You’re a grownup, too, you remind yourself.
The same feeling, and the same determination, too. The resolve to walk in there – bright-eyed and bushy-tailed – and be the thing they’ve been waiting for. Be the thing you’ve been waiting for. So –
“Fuck it,” you decide, slipping free from your boss’s grasp. “Let’s do this.”
“Attagirl!” Rand claps his hands and dances back to the driver’s side.
Joel helps you into the backseat, passing your purse over when you’re settled. “Okay?” he asks, one arm leaning on the roof.
“Yep,” you chirp – a crack in your voice that you both ignore.
“Call on your way back if you feel like it, let me know how it went.”
The strip lighting in the garage strains your eyes. “What if you’re still hearing about Salazar’s ski trip?”
He shakes his head. “Don’t ask dumb questions, remember? If you call, I’ll answer.”
“Thanks, Joel,” you whisper.
He clicks his teeth. You’re welcome.
“Next step, little tiger. Go get ‘em.”
After you interviewed with him, Joel took all of twenty-four hours to offer you the job. He said he would’ve called sooner – that afternoon, if he could’ve – but there had been a holdup with the paperwork. His next question was how soon you could start.
He was that sure.
On your first day, you were shown to your new desk. Wiped clean, drawers bare. A bloated water stain in the wood – the mark of a fern plant Martha thought was treated a little too much like an actual child by your predecessor.
She offered to have Joel order a new desk, but you told her you loved it – water stain and all.
You loved the view on each side – the sprawling city, the sun needling between buildings. You loved Martha’s company, and Joel’s daily ritual of strolling over to stretch his legs and, more importantly, gossip.
The job made you feel grown. A little kid in the big city – yes, sir and no, sir, caffeine for breakfast and paperwork for lunch. It was big enough that you wondered whether you’d really fill it – like you wondered if you’d ever fill your desk.
What supplies did a personal assistant need? You spent more time on your feet than sat at your desk. What knickknacks would you collect?
Well, looking at it all now: a jumble of pinched pens and hand-me-down magazines from Martha. A Wonder Woman stationery set your mom bought you; the chipped Kandinsky mug you make coffee in every day.
A plastic ruby ring, from a riverside stroll in Paris.
Looking at it now – you wonder how it ever all fit. Almost three cardboard boxes, plus an oversized Swiss cheese plant. Your desk is empty again, back to the way you found it.
Because you got it.
You got the job.
Junior Art Director. Jesus fucking Christ.
You were in Joel’s office when the call came through. Laying out travel plans for a business trip, organizing documents into the order he’d need them. Busying yourself purely to distract from playing the interview back in your head.
The entire thing was a blur, the interview – film reel already burning in your memory. One second you were traipsing into the building, the next – strolling back out, sun on your face and spring in your step.
It came back in flashing vignettes: the creative director’s cropped bob, her scarlet lips. The rhythmic dunk of her teabag into her mug, her quiet mhms as you spoke.
Her smile grew wider, the longer the meeting went on. Her tea went cold. She asked to see pictures of your artwork – made some passing comment about your skill being of some use for an upcoming project.
She liked you. Better yet, Joel noted – you liked her.
He walked back into his office just in time to hear the tail end of the phone call. Your shaky thank you, the teary goodbye. He waited until you turned, one hand lingering on your shoulder, and gasped when you broke into a giddy grin.
He pulled you into a bear hug, beats of raucous laughter through his chest. You sniffled into his shirt, staining the material with wet mascara.
What’d I tell you? he murmured into your hair, rocking you side to side. What’d I fuckin’ tell you?
A clumsy mash of work blouses and party dresses fills the office.
Glitzy gold and pressed linen, heels and loose ties. A bottle of champagne on a spreadsheet coaster, an overfilled balloon knotted around your chair. The word Congrats swirled in glitter pen.
Martha fills the latecomers in. She orders everyone to drain their glasses and grab their coats. There’s a dive bar not far, she says, with karaoke and a jukebox. Cheap drinks and heavy measures.
A dive bar. The dive bar. AC/DC and all.
You linger over by your desk, alone, swirling the bubbly in your glass. A little more than awkward, what with the gold party hat your coworkers forced over your head – and the heavy heart it’s doing little to soothe.
Your last day as Joel Miller’s personal assistant is over. As of five-thirty, you don’t belong in this office. Come Monday, you’ll have a whole new job, a whole new title behind your name.
It’s as thrilling as it is utterly terrifying.
Martha had your leaving party organized less than an hour after she heard the cheers from Joel’s office. Proof, you told him, that she’ll be just fine on her own.
Proof, he countered, that she has a very selective work ethic.
He’s in good hands, if her current crowd management is anything to go by. She rounds everybody up like cattle, corralling them into a buzzed herd.
“We are leavin’ in five minutes, alright?” she yells over their babble. “Five minutes!”
Rand dips between the bodies, smiling when he catches your eye. He wanders over, tactically dodging Martha’s waving arms.
“Hi, baby,” he says, arms wide.
“Thanks for coming,” you mumble into his suit jacket, wrists crossing at his spine.
He wriggles his tie straight, keeps one arm tight around your shoulders even when you pull away. “Of course,” he says, a dutiful nod. “You were always my favorite. Don’t tell the general over there.”
You smile, feeling it dampen when your eyes slip back over to the sliver of light under Joel’s door. He’s been locked in there all afternoon – the only proof of life the pacing his shadow has done.
Rand cocks his head towards the shuttered office. “He not coming?”
“No idea,” you pick at a hangnail, “Some emergency, apparently. I haven’t seen him since lunch.”
He frowns, watching as you shot what’s left of your champagne. It’s bitter – a sharp sting all the way down.
“I mean,” you gulp, “he’s my boss. He’s at every other party we have. What’s the difference this time around?”
Rand’s eyebrows wiggle. He swallows his first answer. He knows the difference as well as you do.
Still – he says, “He’s a lot of things, is Joel, but he ain’t an ass. He’ll be there.”
Across the room, Martha lassoes the party – leading them over to the elevator. She pauses, beckoning you over their heads. A thin-lipped scowl on her face, before she’s distracted by stragglers.
“Good Lord,” Rand scoffs, a gentlemanly arm through yours, “Bet you ain’t gonna miss that.”
You rest your head on his shoulder. “Surprisingly, I think I’ll miss her the most.”
As you hover at the back of the bunch, waiting for your very sternly instructed turn to step into the elevator, you glance back at Joel’s office.
The shades are split, pierced somewhere like six feet up. Sliver of lamplight peering through; silhouette of something – someone – staring back.
Come on, you want to call. We’re heading to the bar. Let’s pretend I never broke your heart and you never broke mine. We can dance and kiss like nobody’s watching. We can be okay, you and me.
Martha claps three times as the elevator announces its arrival.
“We’re up, comrade,” Rand quips, and pulls you out of Joel’s sight.
The bar looks the same as it ever did. All chipped mahogany and distressed leather; secret messages etched in secret corners. Slipping between shadow and tacky neon light to order a drink, feeling it hit the back of your skull before you’ve even swallowed the first sip.
It’s no Oasis Wine Bar, but it’ll do.
You’re crammed into a booth opposite some blotchy intern. Kid doesn’t look a day over twenty-one. Martha nudges you closer and closer to the lacquered panel wall, her elbow knocking into yours and splashing your drink over your knuckles.
The group is already a colorful spectrum of drunk: a couple suits slung over the bar, a handful screaming at some vintage arcade game. Rand cuts a merry figure at the bottom of the table, swaying as he garbles to Martha and Deb.
Like a replica of that first night – a playlist of dusty rock tunes, fingertips salty from picking at peanuts. The buzz of conversation fueled by swigs of bitter vodka.
You don’t remember it feeling this shitty, though. This lonely.
The intern leans over the booth, quickly yanking his tie before it folds into a flickering candle. He forces a relieved laugh, then asks, “Are you having a good night?”
“I guess,” you raise your voice over Martha’s cackling, “It’s a little bittersweet, you know?”
His head bobs in a tipsy nod. He looks from face to face, trying to latch onto any conversation that’ll take him. But they all turn away, distracted by some guy in a tropical shirt and his cryptocurrency conspiracy.
The intern stares down at his drink, thumbs tapping the glass.
Poor kid.
You knock on his beer, trying not to look too pitying. “How’s the internship? Liking it?”
He brightens, straightening in his seat. “Yeah, it’s been good,” he chirps. “I’m learning a lot. Mr. Miller is a great boss.”
It’s like being sucker punched by a toddler. Huge blue eyes and rosy cheeks, an unsteady grip around his Budweiser. If he didn’t look so much like a fucking Disney cartoon, you’d lose your nerve.
The alcohol sours on your tongue. “Yeah,” you mumble, sinking back into your seat. “Yeah, he’s – he’s a good guy.”
“Why isn’t he here tonight?” he asks.
“He’s – uh…” You throw a helpless look to your coworker – but she’s too busy showing off pictures of Henry. “…He’s busy tonight, I guess.”
“I’ll bet,” the kid replies. “He’s an important dude.”
“Uhuh,” you elbow Martha’s waist, “He sure is. Would you excuse me?” you ask, and the intern raises his hands. “I’ll be right back.”
Martha and Deb shuffle out of the booth, drinks in hand. You edge your way through the horde to the back of the bar – stopping to refill on the way.
As the muscleman behind the bar tops off your glass, something catches your eye.
Lit only by a flickering Coors Light sign – the red and blue melding into streaks of violet – an iron staircase lingers in the corner. You didn’t spot it last time – or if you did, you were too busy flirting with your boss to pay it any mind.
You drift over, evading the sloshed stagger of one of Joel’s mailroom guys, and click up the steps towards the glowing red of an EXIT sign. Your hip swings into the push bar. The heavy door groans open.
It’s no cooler out here than inside – but it’s deserted. Beer dripping from the lips of toppled bottles, candles wavering in clear pools of wax. A gentle hum from overhead – the string light canopy.
A kitschy little rooftop. A humble hideaway.
Alone, you cross your arms and amble over to the parapet.
The street snoozes, a story below. Leaves flutter along the curb, crushed by the scuffing soles of strangers. Their footsteps echo as they wander off into the dusky night.
No Rolls, you notice. Nowhere to be seen. Not parked on the road, nor in the lot across the street. Nothing but a couple of guys on bikes, standing in the cold light of a store front.
He’s not here. He didn’t come.
He couldn’t, even if he wanted to. Whatever emergency he’s dealing with, it’s taken half his day from him. Martha didn’t even bother to ask if he needed coffee, or to fill him in on her neighborhood politics since the new couple moved in next door.
Still – there’s never been anything he couldn’t drag himself away from. Not where you’re concerned. He abandoned an investor for a solid ten minutes last week, just to walk you to the parking garage and tell you shit you already knew.
He could find a way to make it to this, right?
You scoff into your glass, swallow a heavy sip. Swallow back the quiet disappointment, the burden of a broken heart trying desperately to remember the shape it used to be. Before private jets and business trips, before work parties and closed office doors.
Before Joel.
But he swaggered in, didn’t he – suit and tie and that signature smirk. He changed everything, overnight. He fit in all the spaces you thought no one ever would – nestled his way behind your ribcage, kept you warm, kept you safe.
You can’t remember the shape your heart used to be. You don’t fucking want to.
At least, even when you were fighting, he was still in the game. At least he was still sat on the other side of the checkered plain, nudging his king closer to your queen. You never intended on letting him win – but he never intended to in the first place.
He was only ever in it to watch your eyes light, any time he got close.
Now, the board is cleared. Pawns split in two, knights crumbled to dust. And you miss it.
You miss him.
And missing him is – feeling the absence of him in every room. The empty seat next to yours, your empty hand at your side. The weight you know by heart around your waist, the name always on the tip of your tongue.
Missing him is coming up with a million ways that every other man isn’t him. They don’t make you laugh the same, they don’t make you ache. They don’t know your favorite movie; they won’t pull over just to pinch the greasy bacon from your breakfast sandwich.
Missing him is looking for him. Everywhere. Hoping – Jesus, praying you’d walk out of your interview and he’d be stood, arms crossed, leant against the car. Wishing he’d show up again at your door – flowers in hand, kiss on your lips.
Missing him is existing in the negative space he left behind. Flecks of color fluttering in the breeze, fading as though they were never here in the first place.
The door chunks open over your shoulder, and falls closed with a slam. Right on cue. You don’t even flinch when he rolls a chilled beer against your arm.
Missing him is knowing him. Better than anyone ever has, or anyone ever will.
He’s here. He was always going to be here. Because it’s you, and because it’s him.
Joel holds for all of three seconds, then places the beer between your elbows. He leans back against the stone wall.
“Sorry I’m late,” he says, taking a sip. His rugged, twelve-hour-day form softens before your eyes.
“I missed you,” you whisper, and he smiles.
“Missed you too, pretty girl.”
You lean in, face smushing into his chest, and snake your arms around his waist.
Joel takes the weight of you like it’s nothing; kisses your head and rests his chin there.
“I thought you weren’t coming,” you mumble, feeling the strange chill of tears on your cheeks.
“Are you kidding?” his voice rumbles through your skull. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, you know that.”
The alcohol lining your gums sweetens. It might just make the initial hit worth the trouble.
“I had a pretty shitty night,” you admit, sneaking a glance at him.
“Yeah,” he sighs, “You ‘n me both. Pretty shitty month.”
His cologne is fresh; woodsy and clean. His rough beard on your skin, his tired collar between your fingers. The landscape of a man you know inside and out.
Joel’s hands lift from your waist, past your ribs and around your shoulders. He lifts the broken heart charm from your chest – so tiny in his large hand, nervously twinkling in the light.
You don’t flinch, this time. Barely even notice his eyes on it.
His expression stiffens. His jaw clenches. His eyes are glassy, lined with tears behind his stone-set snarl.
“I’m sorry for what he did,” he grits, swallowing thickly. “I wanna kill him for it, you know that?”
You lift one shoulder, dropping it with a sigh. “He did what he did,” you hush, “He was a scumbag.”
Joel’s upper lip twitches. Twists, then settles when you trace it with your thumb.
“You didn’t deserve it,” he says. “You didn’t deserve none of what he did to you. You were just a kid, you –”
He lifts his head like coming up for air. Sucks a ragged breath between his teeth, shakes the tears from his vision.
“Hey,” you take his jaw, turning him back to face you, “Look at me. Look.” You flash a cheesy grin, nose scrunched and eyes crinkled. “I’m okay, Joel, look.”
His laughter betrays him, breaking from his chest and shattering the wolfish glare. He cups your head, cradling you against his chest again.
There’s nothing between you, now. No spiteful words or suffocating tension; no hurt and no blame. One heart broken and the other bruised, still beating the rhythm of a language only they know.
Still seeking the other out, through all of it.
“What we had,” Joel says softly, “it can’t have been nothing to you, right? Was it really just…?”
“No,” you shake your head, squeezing him, “It was never – You were never just anything to me. I think…” you sigh, “…I think you just pressed on a bruise I had. A bruise I thought I’d gotten pretty good at hiding. And you just…you twisted your thumb into it.”
“I didn’t – I didn’t know about no bruise,” he says. “It wouldn’t’ve mattered if I had, darlin’, I –”
You take his wrists, following the sleeves of his jacket up to his collar. “I know,” you hold his cheeks, “I know it wouldn’t. But you saw straight through me – and the more you saw, the more you cared. And that scared me.”
He blinks down to your lips. “Why?”
“Because it’s never like that, Joel. No one has ever been like that. I was so scared that I’d fuck it up – that you’d figure me out.”
“You gotta fill me in a little here. Figure you out?”
“All my shit. Blake, my dad. All of it.”
Joel frowns. “You think I don’t got shit I didn’t want you seeing, too? My dad, Avery – that ain’t exactly dating profile material, baby.”
You can’t help but laugh. As raw as an open wound, the most vulnerable conversation you’ve ever had – on the roof of a dive bar, with your boss.
And he’s as fucking breezy as though you just handed him the forecast for the day.
“You’re a better man, Joel, than all of them. You mean more to me than anyone. And before I knew it, you had me wrapped around your finger, and…”
“…And I was pressing on that bruise.”
You wince. “Little bit.”
His tongue prods at the inside of his cheek. He scans the rooftop, glimmers of gold in his eyes, and nods.
“Listen to me,” he says, holding onto you. His thumbs swipe your tears away. “I would not hurt you for the world. I wouldn’t. That goddamn email – I just – I didn’t know what else to do. I panicked, and I fucked up. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to –”
“Shut up,” he smiles, “I never meant to scare you. I never meant to hurt you. And if we never go back to what we were, then – I guess I gotta live with that. But you? God, baby, I miss you.
“I miss hearing you laugh. I miss being the one to make you do it. I miss talking to you, miss hearing what you think on things. Miss your goddamn Bart Simpson socks ‘n all.”
You turn into his palm, masking your giggle. “Asshole,” you murmur.
“All I want to do is take care of you,” he says. His shoulder jerks, an earnest shrug. “’s all I want. And you don’t make it easy, that’s for sure – fightin’ back at every damn turn. But – I don’t know,” his eyes thin, “Sometimes I reckon it’s what you want, too.”
“Oh,” you wrestle a simper, “You reckon, do you?”
“I reckon,” Joel repeats, bending the word in an exaggerated drawl. “See what I mean?” he tickles your waist, “You’re a pain in my ass.”
Your head tips back with laughter – the first real laugh you’ve heard pass your lips in weeks. Since you were rolling around your bed, poking his ribs for not being able to use chopsticks. A silly, girlish giggle.
The world bursts into color again.
Joel chuckles, too, as you squirm in his grasp. His hands plant on your waist, forehead rolling against yours.
Your lips brush. Your body ignites.
“I really want to kiss you right now,” he whispers. “That okay?”
“Shut up,” you echo, letting his lips crash into yours.
He tastes exactly the same as you remember. Strawberry and lemongrass. Sweet, in a way that wakens you. Brightens you, full of life and full of color.
It’s as though only a second has passed since you last felt him like this. Felt his scruff on your cheeks, the warmth of his tongue slipping past yours. Your skin feels like satin on his; your body filling in all the worn gaps that time has taken from his.
Fitting against him like you were carved with him in mind. Chiseled from the same slab of marble, finally found one another through the opaque stone.
He pins you to the parapet; one hand firm on the small of your back, the other at the base of your skull. He leans in, claiming every sense in your body as his own – and you offer them over gladly.
He kisses you like it’s all he’s thought about since that last morning at your place. Like he’s making up for lost time.
Hell, you’re both making up for lost time.
Joel breaks for air, panting against your lips, then instantly kisses you again.
Your hand threads through his hair – the soft salt and pepper, the feathered flicks at the nape of his neck. “Joel,” you kiss him once, twice more, giggling, “We’re like teenagers.”
“I love you,” he replies, kissing down your neck. “So much. So – goddamn – much.”
He trails down to your collarbone, where your chest lifts to meet his hungry lips. He drags teeth and tongue between your cleavage.
There’s a delay in the time the words take to sink into your skin. Like they’re stopping to light every atom of your being first, before they reach your brain. Every bone, every muscle and every cell.
“You…” you breathe, pulling him upright. “…You what?”
“I love you,” he repeats. “That scare you?”
Oh.
“N-no,” you press your finger to his swollen lips, “You…Say it again.”
He pauses. Nods, when he seems to make it up in his mind. His eyes flit from yours down to the mess of your lipstick, and back up.
A man possessed, so it looks, he admits it between labored breaths. “I’m in love with you,” he says. “Have been for a while, I think. You got a terrible habit of driving me fucking insane, pretty girl.”
Oh, shit.
You knew it already. This isn’t news.
He as good as told you in the copy room – and before that, in his office. He told you in Martha’s dining room, told you in your kitchen. He told you every time his lips found yours in Paris, and every time his eyes met yours before that.
If you went back and looked, there’d probably be a trail of clues jotted down in his diary – September second, two o’clock. Great AP score, enthusiastic and friendly. I think I’m in love with her.
He’s always loved you.
It’s just different hearing him say it.
Different to how it felt the last time someone said it to you. Different to how it sounded. There’s no ringing in your ears. There’s no focal shift in your vision.
There’s no…fear.
Joel takes hold of your shoulders. “Don’t run off on me again,” he says, kissing your cheek.
“No, I’m not…I don’t – want to,” you burble, playing with his collar. “You’re just…You might be a couple steps ahead of me.”
“Baby,” he says, a little laugh to it. “That’s okay. I don’t mind. I’m good where I am.”
“Really?”
“Really,” he says, and leans in again. “I’ll wait, as long as it takes.”
You melt into him; his strong hands and steady chest. Teeth taking his bottom lip, releasing it with a little pop. Your fingers twist around his hair, tugging lightly.
A low growl sounds from Joel’s throat. His hips rut against yours, fly of his jeans catches on the material of your skirt.
It nestles somewhere between your thighs. Solid, swollen. Blood hammering beneath denim, grinding into your body. He’s hard.
“We keep goin’ the way we’re goin’,” Joel hints, “and we’re gonna have a problem that ain’t solved so easily.”
You release him, licking your lips. “You think I can’t feel it already?”
He sucks on the skin over your carotid. “You think I ain’t been dealin’ with it for the last three weeks?”
“Poor Mr. Miller,” you pout, “Let me deal with it.”
His cheeks lift, brows drop. Cocky. The Joel you’re used to. The Joel you want.
The Joel you fucking need, right now.
“C’mon,” you slip a hand down his front, cupping the weight of him, “I miss my daddy.”
He squeezes your ass, catching you in a rough kiss when you writhe forward. His teeth graze your ear. “I wanna touch you, baby. I wanna feel you again. This little cunt,” he slips a hand between your legs, “She’s all I’ve been thinkin’ about.”
Fuck.
It was a feeble attempt, anyway – matching his ego. Utterly futile. The guy makes you lose your fucking mind.
You’ve done things for him that you’d never dream of doing for anyone else – would wring their necks for even asking – and here you are, keening into Joel, grinding your dripping pussy into his palm for all the street to see.
“She’s all yours,” you whine, the words tearing from your throat in a desperate plea. “All yours, Daddy.”
“That’s my girl,” Joel murmurs against your temple. “I’m gonna take you home, okay? Fuck you nice ‘n hard, make you feel better.”
You moan against his shirt. “Can we go back to yours, Daddy?”
It throws him for one heavy beat. He pauses, breath hot against your jaw, and then presses a barely-there kiss to your lips.
“Yeah, darlin,’” he whispers. “Let’s go back to mine.”
You push off his chest, cunt throbbing with each step towards the fire door. Fingers locked through his – a siren leading her sailor down the wrought iron stairs of Sam’s Saloon. Swimming through bodies, bathing in neon light, breathing in tobacco and tequila.
Joel eyes the booth where his employees sit – folding spinning tops out of beer caps, wagering bets on who’ll still be hungover come Monday.
He turns to whisper in your ear, when a voice strikes like lightning between you.
“Hey!” Martha yells, waving from the corner booth.
You’ve never wanted her to fuck off so badly.
“Just where the hell do you think you two are goin’?”
Joel stumbles into your side, hiding a teenage sort of glee behind your back. It’s contagious – and it riles Martha even more.
You throw your arms in the air, eyes bulging. Take the fucking hint, Martha. “Home?”
“It ain’t even eleven,” she protests, making to stand. “This is your goddamn leavin’ night – what are you doing?”
But you’re already retreating, following the pull of Joel’s hand around yours. Skin like fire, spattering with every touch. There’s nothing – man, myth, or Martha – that could stop you from following him.
You yell it as you swing through the doors.
“Grabbing a paddle!”
Joel leads you with his hands and with his lips down a neighboring street, where his Lamborghini sits at the side of the road. It blinks to life, headlights blinding.
A bruiser of a car – all bulk and brawn and bullish, like the thing is actually rearing. Something of a sharp smirk to it, the same devilish grin its owner so often wears.
He opens your door, steady hand lifting you into the passenger side, and strides around the car. His hand is back between your legs before he’s even switched the ignition on.
“Get – your damn – seatbelt on,” you giggle, slurring the words against Joel’s lips. “I am not letting you drive me home without one.”
His breath is hot and heady, spilling over your tongue with each punch of laughter from his chest. “Alright, alright,” he concedes, clipping the belt into place. He holds his hands out, awaiting your approval.
When you nod, his fingers slip between your thighs.
“You whore,” you snicker – though the sound scatters when he finds your clit. You grab your own belt, yanking it loose from its holder. “Jesus, Joel –”
“There she is,” he coos, pulling out into the road.
He circles her gently at first, massaging over your panties. Middle finger pulsing over the hood, matching the rhythm of your heartbeat flocking south.
Your back arches; nails dig into his wrist. “Daddy,” you gasp, knees parting. Heat quickly soaking through lace and onto leather. “’m gonna – make a mess,” you croon.
“Make a mess, darlin’, it’s okay,” Joel beckons, knuckles white around the steering wheel. “Driving me crazy, watching you like this. Dirty little girl.”
“Let me…” you reach for his thigh, “…Wanna touch you, Daddy.”
He grunts – a sound of refusal. “Give me one first, baby. Here,” and he hooks the slippery lace to the side, fingers parting your folds, “Let Daddy feel you right here.”
Your knee lifts, leg folding against the door, and Joel pushes inside. Two fingers knuckle-deep in one thrust. You yelp.
“Oh, baby,” he tuts, “She’s so wet. She miss her daddy that bad?”
“Yeah,” you whine, watching the thick shine he draws from your cunt. You lift your hips to open wider – and he slots a third finger in.
“Look at her,” he growls, “desperate little cunt. That feel better, darlin’?”
“Yeah, Daddy,” you mewl, though you’re not fucking listening to a word he’s saying.
You watch, boneless and blathering, as your hand lowers – replacing where Joel’s was on your clit. Rubbing little circles while he fucks you with his thick fingers. Your back curls again, tits threatening to spill out of your dress.
“Keep doin’ that,” Joel instructs, wrist jacking faster. “You’re close, ain’t you?”
“Shit,” you gasp, walls clenching around him. “So – close, Joel – fuck.”
The car slows to a stop. A red glow seeps through the windshield, lighting your smirk in a dangerous tinge.
Your pussy drools onto the leather seat, throbbing over Joel’s hand. Syrupy and honey-sweet, coating him in a glistening mess the harder he fucks you. A sticky sound, the slap of skin on skin, the beats of your moaning in between.
“Look at me,” Joel says, and you tear your eyes from between your legs. “Keep playing with it. C’mere.”
He tilts your jaw with his free hand and slips his tongue past your lips – the taste of him more dizzying than any drink from that bar. He kisses you until you’re right there, sucking on his tongue, teetering on the edge of your first climax. Crying into his mouth to stop from screaming at the ceiling.
“Daddy, need –”
Joel’s wrist pounds against your clit. He laughs across your tongue.
“Come on, baby,” he groans. “Let me feel her.”
“Say it,” you beg, your head lolling on his shoulder. The streetlights begin to bleed into the car. The light flicks to yellow. “Need you to – to say it.”
He nuzzles his nose against yours, turning to let you taste the words.
“I love you,” he whispers, and you break wide open.
The car rolls off again as you come with a violent shudder, crying into Joel’s chest. Daddy Daddy Daddy, fuck me fuck me fuck me.
“I know, I know,” Joel says, riding your high out to the horizon. He stares at the road ahead, only daring a glimpse at the sodden mess between your thighs when you start to come around again.
He works your swollen cunt, fingers gleaming with your orgasm. Slips them over his tongue, licks them clean – and then pushes them back between your sensitive lips.
You rock with the moving car, pulse still rattling your lungs. Your eyes drift down, down: Joel’s spread legs, the shape even bolder in his jeans than before.
You got a terrible habit of driving me fucking insane, pretty girl.
Weak and still quivering, you slip your hand over his belt – feeling his stomach jolt the second you touch it. The dark trail of hair from his navel, the thicker it grows – the harder he tenses.
“Easy,” he clips, adjusting in his seat. “Alright, darlin’. We’re…You’re gonna get us arrested.”
“Good,” you shrug, “I bet you have a good lawyer.”
You slump into his lap, the armrest solid against your ribcage. Trembling fingers loosening his belt, picking at the button of his jeans, husking them loose when he lifts his hips.
“Jesus,” he clears his throat, “Won’t let me drive without a seatbelt, but you’re – you’re fine with – fuck.”
He’s heavy and rock solid, so wide you can barely hold him. Big enough that it takes no effort at all to pull him free. Shaft silky smooth, tip flushed red and leaking deliciously.
Fuck, he’s so pretty. He’s so –
“– pretty, Daddy.”
Joel lifts his hand and holds you at the back of your neck, grip tightening when you dab his head along your bottom lip. “Prettier when you’re playin’ with it, angel.”
Your tongue circles his tip – salt and sweat stirring you from your orgasmic haze. You dribble down his cock, spit racing to the twists of thick hair at his base.
The sound he makes is guttural – a roar of a groan from his chest – when you sink down on him. He fills your mouth instantly, nudging the back of your throat in one.
The car swerves some. Joel curses over your head.
You slip back up – slow. Let your tongue trace every ridge, every vein along the way. All of it perfect perfect perfect – all of it him. Chasing streaks of saliva, the pearly shine of precome beading from his slit.
One hand stroking his hilt, lips suckling around his tip. Kneading his weighty balls – massaging them in your palm, dragging your tongue down to kiss the cushiony skin.
“Pretty girl,” Joel rasps, hips canting to meet every lick, every stroke. “You’re gonna make me come if you don’t stop.”
Mhm, you mumble, gagging around the intrusion. Tears sear across your waterline, spilling from the corners of your eyes. So big, so pretty, so perfect.
He nuzzles deep, stretching the column of your throat wide. “Baby,” he warns, voice sharper, “Baby, you gotta – you gotta stop now.”
Maple, he’d said – that day in your shower. If you say it, I stop.
Say it, you dare him silently.
“I’m gonna – c-come, darlin’,” instead.
Say. It.
“You want that?” he growls, hand surfing over your hair to cup your skull. “You wanna make your Daddy come?”
Your voice flattens, mutes under the strain of his cock. You moan instead, the sound weak and muffled.
“Shit,” Joel says, stomach tensing tensing tensing. “Shit, angel, just like that. Good fuckin’ girl.”
He twitches deep inside. He’s there. Right there.
You slacken your jaw and lick up his shaft, two hands wrapping around it. They slip around the sticky spit, swirling and squeezing while you kiss his tip.
He holds you steady, slowing the car to watch as he fills your mouth.
Two, three warm spurts across your tongue, dripping down the back of your throat. You lap up every drop, tongue swirling the salt around your lips before you swallow it down.
Joel rasps as he steers the car into a dim lot. He strokes your head, jerks when you play a little too much with him.
“Attagirl,” he sighs, “Careful with it. Tryna fuckin’ kill me.”
You giggle, swiping kitten licks at his tip before you slip him back into his underwear. You bat Joel’s hands away, buttoning his jeans and threading his belt back together. Planting heavy kisses into the plush of his tummy.
When the darkness is pierced by flickering fluorescents, you push yourself up.
“Where are we?” you ask, twisting in your seat.
“Home,” he says simply.
A plain man in a dark suit strides over to the car as soon as it parks up. The click of his shoes bouncing off the walls.
Joel swipes at your chin with his thumb. He slips the digit past your lips and you suck it clean. “Dirty girl,” he utters, stealing another hasty kiss before swinging out of the car.
You hop out the other side, tottering around the Lamborghini to meet him at the back.
The attendant’s name badge reads Owen. “Long day, Mr. Miller?”
Joel pats his shoulder in greeting, reaching for your hand. “Long day,” he agrees, and makes for the elevator.
Your head swivels, taking in each lavish vehicle parked under luminous light. Emblems with horses and bulls and wings – plenty more than you don’t even recognize. Each car polished to perfection, groomed within an inch of its life.
Joel flicks the button at the top of the panel. The doors glide closed – smooth and silent. You barely feel it as it scales the building rapidly.
“Wait a second,” you stare at the dazzling PH, “Do you live on the top fucking floor?”
He bites his lip. “Might do.”
You step back. “So you let me bring you into my – my shitty little apartment, and meanwhile you’re –?”
“Woah, woah,” he cuts in. “Your apartment is not shitty.”
“It’s not a fucking penthouse, Joel.”
“It’s a nice apartment!” he protests, squeezing your shoulder. “Do you always gotta be so goddamn dramatic?”
“I bet you could fit my entire place inside your living room. Right? Am I right?”
He clicks his teeth and stuffs his hands into his pockets. “Naw,” he says, like a little kid. Twisting his toe into the marble floor. “Dressing room, more like.”
The doors part just in time for him to escape your drumming fists – his boyish snicker filling the cream hallway.
You spill out after him, pulse fluttering dangerously through your veins.
“You know what my place doesn’t have?” Joel says, fishing for his keys. “A poster of Richard Gere. I could use one of those.”
“Oh,” you feign amusement, “Well, you can have mine. I won’t be able to look at it now, anyways.”
He slots the key in the lock and turns. Drinks in the sight of you – on a comedown from only the second-hottest car ride you’ve ever taken.
“Your apartment,” he lifts a finger, “has you in it. It wins, every time.”
Your jaw clenches. Your heart begins a warning drum in your chest. Don’t you fucking dare. Don’t you fall.
Too late, you think.
The door sweeps open, and Joel beckons you forward.
“Ladies first.”
You slip by, stepping into a regal hallway. Smooth stone on either side, dark wood under your heels. All marble and mirror, classy, glassy décor. Golden spotlights which glow to life overhead, the deeper your footsteps echo.
It’s dark, and a little moody. Manly. The perfect marriage of masculine and chic. Cold steel and warm wood.
It looks like him. Classy and luxurious – but homey, warm. Everything that draws you to him, and everything that makes you want to stay.
Joel follows silently at your back, much the same as he did in his little white house. Looking to his feet when you turn back, fiddling with the strap of his watch.
You wander to the end of the hall, where the apartment widens. A towering living room – sylvan and rustic, the same muted tones bleeding through. Cityscape backdrop, pristine glass fire. A coffee table homing ornate vases and books on woodworking; a faux fur blanket over the couch and beside it, a worn flannel shirt.
You love it. You love all of it.
And loving his apartment is probably a bit of a copout, right? The easier way, the safer way to admit something much scarier. It’s just fragments of Joel, after all. It’s all the parts you’ve come to like best.
His heart, his soul. The kid with the freckles and scruffy hair, all grown up. Thrown into a big city, thrown into a big job. Thrown into a million-dollar penthouse – and still, he turns everything he touches into…home.
Joel presses his lips along your shoulder, perches his chin on your collarbone. Quiet, a little bashful – hiding from every secret he’s letting you in on just with being here.
Your eyes catch a brushed-gold frame on the sideboard, and you float over.
Faded by the sun and the years in between, there’s a peachy tint to the photo. A dreamy lilac sky, dark cedars fringing the background. A squint mailbox, cherry red with the name MILLER printed on.
Two boys, one as filthy as the other. Matching denim shorts and lanky limbs. Smeared with paint, in the midst of a brawl which nearly blurs their figures into nothing more than one head of dark hair, the other sandy.
You’d recognize him anywhere, though. Even with his arm hooked around his little brother’s neck.
“Tommy started it,” Joel says, elbowing your side. “See that smudge on the mailbox? He pushed me headfirst into the thing.”
Your chest leaps. “Who won the fight?”
He takes the frame and dusts it with the sleeve of his jacket. “Mom did,” he replies. “Threw the camera down ‘n dragged us inside. Grounded us for a week, made us repaint the entire thing.”
“How is your mom?” you ask.
Joel nods. “Good. She’s askin’ after you.”
“She still asks about me?”
“Yeah,” he says. “’cause I still talk about you.”
It prods low in your chest. Aching, stitching itself back together thread by thread. A wound twelve years in the making, the doing and undoing of everything you ever knew. Family and love; hurt and loss.
It’s okay to lose some things, you reckon. It’s okay to let them go. To watch that beat-up Toyota tear off for the horizon. To leave that man and his ring and the promises he’ll never fulfill.
There’s someone better waiting down the line, anyway. It starts with a page of doodles; it ends with your heart in his hands.
The safest place it’s ever going to be.
You cross your arms around Joel’s neck and pull him against your body. Pull him against the wound.
“I want to go see her again, tomorrow.”
“I think she’d like that.”
“Then I want to come back here and spend the whole weekend with you.”
He swallows. “Yeah. Yeah, I want that, too.”
You kiss him softly.
“And I want you to take me to bed right now, and show me how much you love me.”
The twinkling city is the only light left on this side of the apartment.
Half-drunk in a half-dim room, you stumble in backwards – tripping over thin air and collapsing onto the bed, pulling the six-foot shadow of your ex-boss-now-something on top.
The laughter rumbles from Joel’s chest. “I’m too old for this, pretty girl,” he says, sucking a mark into your neck.
“No big deal,” you titter, fumbling with the buttons on his shirt. “I’ll keep you going.”
He hovers over you, watching as you peel the clothes from his body. The heavy clink of his belt on the floor, the ruffle of slacks down his legs. He shakes the shirt from his arms and your lips connect again in the darkness.
Hips between yours, he drags your dress from the hem up over your arms. A hungry glimpse, tongue dabbing at the corner of his mouth – like it’s Monday morning all over again, and you’re on your knees in front of him for the first time.
Back when flirting was as harmless as delivering coffee and running errands. Back when he was one third of a fuck, marry, kill debate with Martha and Deb. Back when neither of you knew these versions of yourselves even existed.
Joel lowers – taking your nipple in his mouth.
“Shit,” you pant, fingers searching for the elastic around his waist.
He helps you tug his boxers off. His cock sways between his legs, smatter of come and damp saliva across your stomach as he guides you up the mattress. He takes the lace from your hips in his fist and rids you of it in quick motion.
“See what you do to your daddy?” he asks, tapping the weight of his cock against your mound.
You reach down, wrapping your fingers around him. He’s stubbornly solid again – throbbing under your touch. He shudders when you swipe a gentle thumb over his tip.
“Already came once ‘n you got him hard all over again,” Joel adds.
You take your lip under your teeth, stroking his cock. Your clit flutters at the thought of him pushing in. The stretch that feels so impossible, the punch of pain each time he reaches the end of your pussy.
It steals a sob from your lips. “I wanna ride you, Daddy,” you sputter, a solid shove on his shoulders.
He rolls onto his back, hands finding your hips as you mount his waist.
“Let me ride you,” you’re panting, lowering onto the dense muscle of his stomach. Quickly coating the trail of pubic hair with a pearly sheen. You rock back and forth, taking the stalk of him in one small hand.
“Let me ride – just wanna ride –”
“Alright, alright,” Joel hastens, sitting upright. He slips an arm around your back.
You whine. “You never let me, Daddy, I just wanna –”
“Shh,” he holds your jaw, “I’m gonna let you. I’m gonna let you, baby. Just gotta go slow, alright? I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I can take it,” you tell him, hands on your hips.
“I know,” Joel replies, “I know you can. Always do, huh?”
He slides his tip through your core, teasing your entrance. So wide that you can already feel your little hole struggling with just his head. He’s covered in you – your slick blending with his, your breath swapping.
“Three weeks, angel,” he fusses, beginning to edge you down. “Too goddamn long,” he adds, “You know how much I missed this pretty cunt?”
Your pussy sucks his length in, blooming for him. Warm and snug, spongey walls pinching every inch as he penetrates her. Like they’re made for each other, the same way you and Joel are.
“She missed you more,” you gasp, head tilted back to the ceiling. “I missed you more.”
Joel’s teeth pluck at the column of your throat, still raw from the memory of his dick. “Doing so good for me,” he hums, “Little more, okay?”
You collapse forward, boneless and weeping against his chest. The pain and the pleasure hammering through your veins – Joel’s thunder and your lightning. Every nerve on fire, every hair on your body standing to attention.
He holds you steady, hands still locked around your waist, cock still filling you up inch by inch. When your clit reaches the coarse hair at his base, Joel kisses from your chest up to your jaw.
“You feel that, baby?” he asks, two fingers lifting your chin. “Feel Daddy inside you? All of him, darlin’, you got all of him in there.”
You wiggle in his lap, hips aching with the effort of holding his full length. “So big, Daddy.”
Joel tenses, teeth gritting. “I ain’t gonna last long,” he admits, grip firm on your hips.
“That’s okay, baby,” you coo, nudging him back into the mattress. His cock slips from your slit, drizzled with slick. You feel so empty without him – electricity fizzling into nothing, walls clamping around nothing.
You brace yourself over his torso – reaching between your legs to guide him back to your entrance.
Beneath hooded lids, heavy with lust, Joel watches as you drag his tip through your folds. He presses his thumb to your clit, rough circles around the swollen hood, and parts your lips with his fingers.
His cock lines up, and you sink down.
“Christ, darlin’,” Joel groans. He flicks at your clit, his other hand coming up to pinch your nipple.
“I – Fuck,” you moan, bouncing on him. “Feels so – good, Daddy, I –”
You fall forward into the headboard – staying upright only with your fingers locked around the wood. You’re slipping, already barreling your way towards another orgasm.
You grind forward, rutting into Joel’s palm, falling back on his cock. Your spine curls; hands drop to claw at his chest, ground yourself there.
The edges of your vision begin to blur. It’s not like this, it’s never like this. No one has ever fucked you this good, this rough and this loving.
Joel’s balls slap against your ass. He bucks his hips, knees lifting to bump you forward.
“Attagirl,” he says, slipping a hand around your neck. He brings you down, nips at your lower lip. His forehead slides against yours. “Can feel you closing, darlin’,” he chuckles, “You gonna come for me?”
“D-dick,” you hiss.
He smirks. “Always look so pretty when you let go. You don’t wanna show Daddy how pretty you are?”
You writhe over him, biting down hard on your climax.
“My beautiful girl,” Joel murmurs in your ear. “Come for Daddy.”
And it throws you under.
Blinding, deafening. Every nerve in your body overcome, each one flipped to feel only Joel. His cock, buried deep inside, your walls clamped around him; his teeth on your skin, tongue soothing the scrape.
It’s never like this.
Never so euphoric, never such a perfect meld of bruise and bliss. The feeling of your body changing, altering down to the very last atom – blossoming anew. Fresher, purer, lovelier.
When you come back around, you’re on your back.
Legs wrapped around Joel’s waist; arms linked around his neck. He must’ve flipped you, the second you came.
He slips back inside, suckling on the skin beneath your ear, and drives his hips into yours. Ignores your yelps, your short breaths – just fucks into you like you’ll be gone in the morning.
Fucks into you like he’ll never get to do it again. Like he hasn’t been doing it for weeks. He fucks you so hard that it hurts; an ache already burning that you know you’ll still feel walking into work on Monday.
“Good girl,” he chants, over and over. “Daddy’s girl.”
Like a fever come over him – beads of sweat dotting his skin, flush in his cheeks. He fucks you mindless, senseless, wordless. Sobbing beneath him, each word soaking into the next.
Good girl. Good girl. Daddy’s girl, that’s it. Daddy loves you so much, baby. Gonna fill this little cunt up so good.
When your walls pull tight again, your third orgasm flooding from every pore in your body – Joel’s movements halt.
He comes with a painful jolt – his cock shunting into you once, twice, until he’s pumping you full of his come. Twitching deep within you, pulsing warm and messy inside your pussy.
He comes with a sound like song. Your name, entangled in a throaty groan – lips tucked somewhere between your neck and shoulder.
You finally hear it – for the first time in your life.
How it’s supposed to sound: low like thunder, Texan in its swing. No one else, you realize, has ever gotten it right – this right – before. As if only his lips were meant to speak it, his tongue designed to carve around the letters. His vocal cords strung to send the sound to your ears.
It’s his, you decide. Your name – and every other piece of you. All of you. It all belongs to him, now.
“Fuck,” Joel pants, one hand on the headboard to steady himself. He lets it rain down over you: “I love you so much, you know that?”
“Come here,” you whisper, and he falls into your body, “Come love me forever.”
Half-conscious and full bliss, you laze in Joel’s bed – all fucking night.
Strong arms hooked around your shoulders, heart to heart. Breath shared, whispering nothings and everythings in the space between your lips. He’s still buried deep inside, still tucked between your legs.
Bundled in satin sheets, kept warm by his body around yours. Talking shit, poking fun, flirting and fucking around. You play with his hands, sizing your open palm against his. You compare the scars and scrapes on your skin, spill the bloody story behind each one.
“Alright, big girl,” Joel yawns, eyes fluttering shut. “I’m beat. You killed me.”
You snuggle under his chin. “Get some sleep, old man.”
He takes a second to respond. He’s already going. This is probably the closest he’s been to actually sleeping for a good three weeks.
“Love you,” he exhales then, like the thought just lapped past his lips again.
You smile. Take his big hands in yours and lift them closer to your chest, tuck your chin over your interlocked fingers.
Something deep inside you lurches. Tries to escape. You tighten Joel’s grip, as if choking the words on their way up.
Joel’s breathing slowly begins to draw out – tiny sighs passing his lips. Your thumbs trace the short hair between his nose and top lip, combing it, nail ghosting over the lines on his lips.
A warm feeling floods through your body. Suddenly – it starts in your chest and washes over in waves, dousing you and the world around you in a dreamy rose. Like a sunset paints its way across the walls, the glint of gold where the light catches on the tower in the distance.
Peace, you think.
Only – there’s no end to it. No sleek black car to drag you away. No broken promises and half-truths. The ache in your chest pulls gently – a reminder, no longer a threat.
This will never leave. He won’t let it. It’s as safe as you are, now, wrapped in his arms. Nothing and no one to break you apart.
“Joel?” you whisper.
His eyelashes flutter, like even asleep he knows it’s something worth hearing. Like everything you could possibly say – What should we have for breakfast? My foot itches. Did you know Martha box dyes her hair? – it’s all worth hearing.
You gulp. “Joel, I wanna – I wanna tell you something.”
He crackles to life, words melting into one another. “…What is it…darlin’…?”
Your lips morph around voiceless words. Your tongue lifts to the back of your teeth, trying to force the sound out.
It’s everything, you think. You’re everything. Say it. Say it say it say it.
But he’s already dropping off again. He’s already being swept away somewhere you’re too tense to reach. And you’re not brave enough to push through the fog on your own, stick a trembling hand into the unknown and swipe for his.
So you let it go. Watch the words float off somewhere Joel can’t hear them.
You shrink yourself, slotting your head beneath his jaw, your cheek to his chest. He sighs into the crown of your head. His heartbeat thuds a familiar bassline into your ear. Hi, old friend. I missed you.
Maybe in the morning, you can swing by your place and grab a bag. Pack a few days’ worth of clothes, spend the first few mornings of your new career drinking velvety coffee in bed next to Joel. Sharing the mug, sharing the newspaper, sharing the shower when it’s time to get up.
Maybe you should call Martha, and apologize for skipping your party. She can fill you in on the night – the drunken dramas, the secrets spilled. She won’t ask about you and Joel – she’ll just know. And that’s enough.
Maybe you’ll throw the phone to the end of the bed after you hang up, discarded amongst the tangle of sheets, and lie back down next to a still sleeping Joel. Lay your head on his chest, like it is right now. Listen to his heartbeat, run your fingers across the dark hair.
And maybe you’ll think over the same three words currently racing through your head. Maybe you’ll try to piece together a sentence for him to hear, when you’re ready to say it out loud.
Maybe by morning, you’ll be brave enough to admit it to yourself, first.
That…yeah.
You love him.
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parfaitblogs · 4 months ago
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you know what would be cool? A blurb about Spencer and girly!reader who's a total nerd and loves ribbons, dresses and jewels. I HATE the stereotype of nerdy people who don't care much about how they look and dress in a ""weird"" way
spencer reid x girly!reader. fluff. 0.6k words. fem reader. reader likes harry potter (it's briefly mentioned. fuck jkr!)
a/n: so u mean penelope garcia?? kidding! idk how good i feel about this but i really wanted to get this request up sorry it’s so late :( thank you for the request ♡
spencer reid who did not expect to feel anything other than fleeting attraction for the pretty girl he had bumped into at the coffee shop closest to the quantico building. or to actually see you again other than that one moment in the midst of his running-late-to-work panic. only to have found out that the brand new member that aaron hotchner was introducing that day was none other than that same pretty girl. 
who had stammered out another apology — the stack of them were growing quite high for a man you had only met that morning — and introduced himself to you, properly. spencer reid who you could hear telling morgan to shut up, because "she might hear you!" because he was teasing spencer about the way he was looking at you and he feared the absolute worst when it came to girls like you. 
spencer reid who's nerves melted away the first time you contributed something to the team during a briefing — something about the statistics of the child abduction you all were currently investigating, that he was able to bounce off of and agree with. you both had to dumb down the words you had used and explain it to the rest of the team again. which he was used to. he didn't think he'd ever find someone who had to do that as well. 
who listened to you when you began to ramble about this book series you were reading and how cool it is because "it spans like three different continents and there's so many different sub-series but they all connect somehow!" and nobody else was listening. but he was.
spencer reid who began to accept your rides home after you had learned he usually catches the train, because you had discovered he lived only a block away from you. rides home that eventually turned into going over to each other's apartments after that one time he said he wanted to show you the hogwarts lego set because you mentioned liking the series. 
he stopped coming up with excuses to have you over the fourth time, and had simply said "i just want you to come over". that was the day you had discovered you think you might like him. 
spencer reid who let you sleep on his bed despite your own insistence when it hit two in the morning and you both had work the next morning and you were still at his apartment watching doctor who together (he was flabbergasted to learn you had never seen it). 
and he had woken you up the next morning and he was so cute and his hair was sticking up everywhere and he was kind of smiling at you and you confirmed with yourself that yes, you liked him. 
spencer reid who had properly asked you on a date after a long three months of you flirting with him because morgan had been seeing it and was getting sick of him doing nothing about it. who picked you up this time, and had laughed when you wound the windows of his car back up because "my hair will fly everywhere!" and "if i lose this bow, you're paying for a new one spencer reid!"
but he had also kind of forgotten how to talk, when he sat across from you at the kind of dingy italian restaurant (he didn't know where else to take you, okay?). because while he had fallen for a girl who shared so many interests with him he was sure she might be his carbon copy, he was also violently reminded (as he was every time he looked at you) how pretty you were. 
and spencer reid wishes he could describe you with any other word, because he's sure there's bigger and harder to say words out there that could describe you. but none of them made sense the way pretty did. 
you had questioned his silence and he had stammered as much as he did the day you met, and you smiled because if all it took was you dressing up to fluster him, you decided you'd do it a lot more often.
your reblogs and replies are always appreciated dearly ♡
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kat-mobile · 5 months ago
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Hey love ❤️ hope you’re doing good
Can I request Tommy with a gentle, empathetic and sensitive reader please. It was an arranged marriage and he found out his new wife would cry herself to sleep over a book she read or just a cat. His reaction to someone who is completely opposite of him
Thank you in advance ✨
Tommy with a wife who's his complete opposite
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A/N: Hey baby, thanks for the request!! I'm doing good and I hope you are too ❤️ I forgot to put on the requests post to specify if you want it as a fic or headcanons so I've made it sort of a mix of the two, hope that's okay anon. I made this blog to try and improve my writing skills and as this is my first attempt it isn't the best, so sorry about that lol. Hope you like it!! (this is set sometime around series 1-2 cause those are my fave)
It was an arranged marriage and to be honest... you weren't particularly thrilled by the notion of being married to Birmingham's most known and feared gangster. But you would do anything for your family and if your father decided that this is what would be best for securing the future of the family then you'd follow through on your part of the deal, even if it seemed like you and Tommy had absolutely nothing in common.
This was a couple months ago now and you had somewhat settled into your new life in Small Heath and with Tommy by your side, the two of you living in comfortable tandem. You had settled into a routine and life was good, or as good as it could be with the risk of being married to a Shelby.
He would buy you any book that you so much as happened to glance at and in turn you would patch up and sew back together any unfortunate pieces of clothing that got in the way of Tommy and his dangerous life style and work, fighting back tears and worrying at your lower lip as you did so. You may not quite understand why he was constantly putting himself in danger but he was your husband all the same and you had grown to love him as your marriage progressed
you would also force him to go and see an actual trained medical professional whenever he came home with said ruined clothing, as a dead husband is less than ideal and you have grown attached these last couple months
Your empathy and tendancy to cry over him when he got hurt was a shock at first but he quickly got used to it, he even tried to avoid getting hurt just so as to not have to see you cry over him
He may not say it outright but he appreciates everything you do and how much you care for him
He doesn't like to keep secrets from you but he doesn't share all aspects of work life with you as he doesn't want you to worry too much, but if being kept in the dark would worry you even more he'd make an effort to keep you in the loop
Your gentleness and compassion is a welcome contrast to his life from before you were apart of it, Tommy didn't know that he needed it before you
If there's one thing about Tommy Shelby, it's that he protects what's his and as his wife he treats you with the utmost care (especially if you have a tendancy to seek out the good in all people)
One night when Tommy (finally) came to bed he found you curled up in a ball on your side with your back to the door, tears gently running down your smooth cheeks
Unsure of what to do when confronted by your distress but still wanting to help, he'd rush to your side and scoop you up onto his lap, holding you close with your tear-stained cheek pressed against his chest and an arm thrown protectively around your shoulders. He'd cautiously rock back and forwards whilst his hand moves slowly up and down your back in what he hopes is a soothing motion. He's a little awkward and stiff but damn if he isn't fucking trying
He'd use his forefinger and thumb to tilt your chin up and force your eyes to meet his own before softly questioning you on why you were crying
"What you crying for, hmm love? Ruining your pretty face"
He'd say, wiping away your tears with his thumb
Upon hearing that the reason for your tears was a sad ending to one of the books he bought you he'd be a little taken aback and he would honestly have to suppress the urge to laugh
It all seemed rather silly to him that you'd cry over some words on paper
"Tommy it isn't funny, it was really upsetting" you'd hiccup out through your tears
he'd just shake his head and sigh, apologising, before pulling you closer, finally laying down on the bed with your legs intertwined
Tommy had hoped it would be a one of chance but when he caught you crying in bed again over the ending of Of Mice and Men, he very quickly figured that he'd have to adapt
Tommy developed a system for when you had your... shall we say moments, he'd sit down on his side of the bed with his back pressed against the headboard before he lifted you up and placed you in-between his legs
Sitting you so that your back was resting against his chest and you could feel his heartbeat
You would then explain to him the sad moments in your books as he softly hummed and nodded his head along to your words
And when he got tired from your quiet voice lulling him to sleep he'd pull you down with him as he laid on his side, caging you in against his chest with an arm around your waist
Those were the nights that he slept the best
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bunnywritesjunk · 1 year ago
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My King
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Series summary: Your parents signed you up for an Alpha Omega Match company when you were eighteen. It took years for them to find your match, but you meet the giant austrian man. Will he be a good partner?
Chapter summary: You get a call from your mother regarding your match. You are nervous to meet them, but they turn out to be a pleasant surprise.
Pairing: König x Fem Reader
Warnings: A/B/O dynamics (Never use this abbreviation without the slashes it is an indigenous slur) 18+ MDNI (no others for this chapter)
Word count: 4.1k (damn thats a lot for me)
Genre: Mostly Fluff a little angst here and there.
A/n: Yo Yo Yo whatup. New fic dropping. This one is black/poc coded but anyone can read. I haven't seen any poc coded cod fics just yet (if you know any send them my way). If you do not like Omegaverse fics please do not read. Also I tried making a cute little mood board, i think it sucks but I tried my best. Konig art credit. (I couldn't find the art credit for the girl). König and reader are neurospicy. I got inspired to do an Apex Alpha König from @ghostlythunderbird go give them some love please. Also this is kinda what I imagine him looking like.
Next Chapter
Chapter One:
His back ached as he climbed the few steps to his door. The passage back to his home was uncomfortable. All König wanted to do with collapse on his bed. The duplex he resided in was decent, the little old woman who rented it to him was very sweet. König had a hard time getting anyone to rent to him. His status as an Apex alpha was concerning for most people. They believed him to be violent and inconsiderate. His landlord is an omega that lives with her alpha mate. König managed to convince her. She thought he was sweet and kind. He opened the foyer door that lead to both apartments. He glanced at the mailbox, wondering if he should wait until morning. Begrudgingly, he took out the small mailbox key and fiddled the metal box open. He grabbed the plethora of mail and closed the box gently. The box was filled up quite a bit as he had not been home in a couple of weeks. 
Heading up the stairs he filed through the mail. Most were junk coupons and magazines, some were credit card sign-up letters. One envelope caught his eye. It had no company name just a large white manila envelope addressed to him. He opened his door and stepped inside placing the mail and his belongings on his couch. He ripped open the envelope and took out a thin book. It had the circular logo of the AOMO, the Alpha Omega Match organization. 
König started at the cover his heartbeat sped up the longer he thought about it. He signed up for the program after a particularly hard mission he had in KorTac. He left and joined the 141 and decided he wanted an omega. A lot of the men in the 141 had partners they could come home to. König wanted that. Most people were too afraid to be in a committed relationship with him. König often settled for one-night stands with betas but it left him feeling empty. He opened the packet to the first page.
'Congratulations!' The first word read. His heart beat harder the more he read. 
'We have found you a match!' König's heart felt like it was going to pound out of his chest. 
'In the plastic wrap, we've provided a fresh scent sample from your potential match. If you like the scent of your match, please send us a scent sample from you as soon as possible.' 
König gripped the packet and leaned over the table, putting his weight on the table. He took a deep breath, he felt a mix of fear and excitement. When he signed up he was not hopeful for a match. He assumed his situation was too complicated for them. He flipped through the packet before reading the rest searching for the scent sample. A plastic bag fell out onto the table. It was sealed and had a verification sticker assuring its authenticity. König picked up the bag carefully. It had a square of white fabric inside it. He took his hood off before opening the bag gingerly. The scent instantly made his knees weak. This Omega had a warm and spicy scent. Coconut and sugary vanilla with hints of sandalwood. König stuffed his nose into the bag inhaling the deep rich smell of this Omega. 
König sealed the scent sample wanting to savor it. He opened the packet back up to the first page. It said once he mailed his scent sample and was approved by his match, they would arrange a meeting with him and his match. There was more information about this Omega and their family along with the reasoning for them picking them. They informed him that this omega was a twenty-six-year-old female. Her father is also an Apex Alpha, he is retired American military. They did not provide a picture of any matches because they wanted the connection to be based on instinct rather than looks. Her mother is an Omega that works as a teacher. There is not much else about the Omega but, König is hopeful. He reads the instructions to send his scent sample. They provided a kit with a form envelope, a small square of fabric, and a plastic bag, almost identical to the one he received from his match. 
'Wash your hands, and rinse any dirt off of your scent glands.'
'Then remove the fabric from the plastic.'
'Rub the fabric on your clean scent glands for 20-25 minutes.'
'Seal the fabric thoroughly in the bag provided .'
He shed his vest and protective gear, the last thing he wanted was for her to smell dust and gunpowder on him. König tried to quell his excitement as he followed the directions. Rushing to his bathroom and then back to his dining room. The fabric square was slightly smaller than his palm. He cupped the crook of his neck, sandwiching the fabric between his hand and his neck. He rubbed gently filling it with his scent. He read the rest of the packet as he rubbed. The rest was mostly semantics about the company and its policies. He combed it a few more times trying to memorize every piece of information about his Omega. 
König smiled gently, he shouldn't think of her as his yet. She smelled so good, too good for him. He smelled the cloth every once in a while to ensure his scent was potent enough. When he was done he placed it in the bag and sealed it. He filled out the form and packed the pre-paid envelope neatly. He grabbed his keys and left his apartment to go to the mail drop-off on the corner of the block. He needed to send it today, he wouldn't be able to sleep if he didn't. He walked back to his apartment having long forgotten about his back pain. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You looked at the list on your phone pushing your shopping cart. Buying the week's groceries had fallen to you this time as your mother was dealing with state testing for her students and your dad was on a hunting trip. You maneuvered the isles expertly collecting the items on your list. As well as some extra sweet snacks you like to indulge in much to our mother's chagrin. You were about to put a pack of Oreos in the cart when your mom called.
“Hello?” You answered but all you can hear was excited screeching. You held the phone away from your ear until she quieted down. 
“He accepted you!!!” She screamed. 
“What? Mom, you're too loud.” 
“The match company! The match they picked liked your scent.” She giggled. 
You were slightly stunned. Your parents signed you up for the AOMO when you were eighteen. You weren't that on board with it but you let them. You know they only want the best for you. You kept sending scent samples every year but they never got back to you about anything. Now, six years later they show up with a match for you. 
“I just got the call, they're sending a scent sample for you right now it's gonna get here in a few days.” 
“Wow...” That was all you managed to say. 
“Now I know this wasn't your ideal way to meet someone, but just please be open-minded sweetheart.” 
You sighed. “I will. I'm finishing up at the grocery and I'll head home.”
“Alright, I'm gonna be home soon too, bye sweetie.” 
You hung up the phone and stood in the aisle. You placed the pack of Oreos in the cart and moved to get the rest of the items before checking out. 
When you arrived home your mother was there waiting. She squealed and hugged you before helping you take the grocery bags inside. 
“I am so excited for you! I have heard so many good things about the AOMO. I bet whoever they picked is gonna be great.”
“Let's hope.” You say. 
The next few days went by quickly. You dove into writing your next few chapters to take your mind off of the match. The sequel to your best-selling fantasy novel was underway. Your days consisted of writing, planning, engaging with fans, and talking to your editor. You typed out the outline for the next few chapters when you heard a knock. 
“Come in.” You said. 
Your mother walked in holding a large envelope. “Guess what came today?” She said excitedly. 
 Your heart thumped with anxiety. She placed the envelope on your desk.
“I’ll leave you to it, let me know if you like them.” She sauntered out of the room happily. 
You picked up the envelope and opened it pulling out a packet of information. You flipped to the first page. 
‘Congratulations!’ It read. 
‘The match we have chosen for you wants to meet you. Once you contact us with your acceptance of their scent, we will arrange for them to meet you and your family with the chaperone of one AOMO agents to facilitate. The two of you will go on a date and get to know each other before deciding whether to move forward. If you do not accept the scent, we will put you back in our database to be matched with someone else.’ 
In the middle of the pages, there was a plastic bag with a white cloth in it. You picked it up and sighed. You doubted you would like the scent. Most alphas were off-putting to you, either way too strong of a scent of they smelled like dishwater. You opened the bag casually and took a whiff. Your inner Omega preened at the musk that erupted from the bag. 
“Oh my…” You inhaled deeply. 
This Alpha…smelled good? He smelled like chocolate and dark roast espresso. There were some hints of fresh baked bread and cinnamon. You caught yourself before you got lost in his scent. You sealed the bag up and took a breath. Maybe, this would be a good experience for you. You scanned through the rest of the information looking over what little they provide about this Alpha. He is a male Alpha, non-American but they did not specify what country. The only other thing they said about him was that his demeanor was shy and that he is military. The instructions said to call the number if you wanted to meet him. You reached for your phone a little too eagerly and dialed the number. A woman’s voice answered.
“Hi, you’ve reached the Alpha Omega Match organization how may I help you?”
“Hi, um I got an Alpha’s scent in the mail, and I want to meet him.” You said awkwardly.
“What’s your name and date of birth?” You told her, nervously. 
“Please hold while I transfer you.” 
The light piano hold music came on, you fidgeted with your sleeve. 
“This is Kara, how may I help you?”
“Oh hi, I got an Alpha’s scent in the mail and I would like to meet him.”
“Alright, let me get your file from reception she’s sending it right now…Ah got it. Oooh ok great I am your agent that will be facilitating this meeting. Your parents will want to meet him yes?”
“Definitely.”
“Ok so, what we will do is you and your parents will meet me at a public space of your choice then. I will bring you to meet the Alpha first, then your parents. We like to keep parent meetings brief as they tend to try and challenge the Alpha. I will have you know, this Alpha is an Apex like your dad. That is one of the reasons we chose you as his match, you have experience with an Apex. Will you be comfortable with all that?”
“Yeah, that’s fine.” Your head was reeling from all this information. Great, I see you guys are in New York City which is one of my favorite places to visit. Do you have anywhere in mind to meet?” 
“Um, we could do the Highline, there’s food, and it's pretty.” 
“Oh, that’s a great idea let me write it down here. How does September ninth at noon sound to you? A weekday so there are not too many people.” 
Your heart jumped, that’s in two days.
“Uh, sure.” 
“Alright, I will send you a follow-up email regarding our plans all you need to do is confirm. Your match will be notified, and his flight will be booked as soon as we receive confirmation. Do you have any other questions?” 
“No not at the moment.” 
“Ok, don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any concerns. I will see you in a few days.” 
“Bye.” 
You put your phone on your desk and walked out of your room. Your mother was standing a few feet away from your door. When she noticed you, her face lit up.
“So? How was the scent? Are you meeting them?” 
You smiled and nodded “Yup, in two days.” 
She squealed and captured you in a bone-crushing hug.
“I can’t wait! Let’s go tell your father!” She practically ran down the hall. 
You walked to your living room where your otherwise stoic-looking dad was watching TV. 
“Tell us about them, sweetheart.” Your mother said. Your dad turned the volume on the TV down and looked at you expectantly.
“Well, I don’t know much but, I know he’s not American and that he might be shy…He smells good.” 
“That’s important, I hope you wouldn’t pick someone who smells like shit.” Your dad chimed in. 
“He’s also military, and an Apex.” You added quickly. 
Your mother gasped quietly, and your father raised his eyebrows.
“Now that’s intriguing.” Your mom said smiling.
“You already booked a meeting with him?” Your dad asked. You nodded. 
“You should’ve asked me first.” He pinched his nose bridge in annoyance. 
“Well, he’s my match and I wanted to meet him.”
“Apex Alphas are dangerous. I would know.”
“Oh, please honey it’ll be fine.” Your mother ridiculed him.
“It’s my choice, Dad. You guys are the ones who signed up, I finally got a match, so I want to see it through. If it doesn’t work out, then I’ll call it off.”
Your father growled lowly. “Fine.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your mother insisted to dress you in a cutesy outfit, so you let her have her moment. She dressed you in a dark floral dress that hugged your curves just right. She added dainty jewelry along with your protective collar. You didn’t usually wear it but again, she insisted. She did your hair half up half down. Your dad was waiting by the front door with your mom’s purse in hand. 
The train ride there was silent, your mother looked utterly content while your father was peeved about this whole situation. You arrived at the station and walked to the Highline. You got a text from Kara telling you what she looked like and where she was. She was wearing a dark blue pencil skirt and a white blouse. She stood up as you and your family approached. You stuck your hand out to shake hers.
“Nice to meet you guys, come sit.” She said motioning to the bench she was on. 
Your father stayed standing while you and your mother took a seat next to her. 
“So, there are some things I want to go over with you all and then I’ll talk to you privately and do the official meeting ok?”
“He’s here?” You said in an almost panicked tone.
Kara chuckled. “He is here but I left him to wait somewhere out of sight for now.”
She continued. “His name is König, he was born in Austria. When we did his psyche and personality evaluations, we found that he has neurodivergent tendencies, like you. Our matches with people that have a similar way of communicating have gone well.”
“Wait, neurodivergent?” Your mom chimed in. 
“Yes, your daughter did show signs of some behavioral abnormalities, but she is high functioning.”
“I told you that Mom.” You say giving her a deadpan look. Your mother looked down and gave a small ‘hmm’. Kara continued. 
“He does struggle with social anxiety so please be patient with him. Other than that, he currently lives in Amsterdam, if you choose to go forward that is where you will live.”
Your dad finally spoke “Is Amsterdam safe for people like us?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. 
“Oh yes, Amsterdam has many people from different places and backgrounds. It is one of the most popular immigration and tourist countries, don’t worry.”
“Alright, how about you come with me, and we’ll get your meeting started.”
Kara led you away, you turned and did a small wave to your parents your mom smiled back at you warmly. 
“So, I will be in contact with you the whole time. If you want to go just say the word, I am never going to be more than a couple minutes away. Honestly, I don’t think you’ll have any issues with him.” 
She led you to a restaurant below the high line, it had indoor and outdoor seating. There were a lot of people laughing and drinking. Your heartbeat sped up as you scanned the crowd. The scent of food entered your nose. Everyone’s scent in the dining area mixed into an indescribable concoction. Among the borderline overwhelming smells, you got a hint of something familiar, espresso. 
You scanned the large room trying to pinpoint where it was coming from or if you were just imagining it. I dark figure near the corner of the room caught your eye. He looked way too large for the chair he was sitting in. He was looking down at his hands, dirty blonde hair covered his forehead. He was wearing a black cloth mask along with a form-fitting black shirt. As soon as you walked in he raised his head. You looked away pretending you weren't staring at him. Kara led you straight to his table.
“This is König.” She gestured to him. 
He stood up to shake your hand still keeping himself hunched at the waist to appear smaller. You shook his hand and smiled as you introduced yourself. He nodded and said a small 'hmm' to acknowledge you. 
“Alright, I'll be near. Have fun.” Kara left swiftly.
You sat down in the chair across from him as he did the same. A wave of anxiety came as you did, not knowing how to break the ice with him. You picked up the menu and scanned it.
“Did you order yet?” You ask.
“No, I was waiting for you.”
“Well thank you, what looks good?” 
“The Steak frites look pretty good.” He glued his menu.
“I'm excited for dessert, they have chocolate cheesecake.”
He chuckled and it made your stomach flip.
“You like sweets?” He asked.
“Very much.” You smile at him. 
The waitress came over and asked if you wanted any drinks. König looked at you, waiting for you to order first. 
“I'll try the elderberry gin and tonic.” You said.
 Konig was about to order when the table next to us erupted in loud laughter. He jumped slightly before answering the waitress. 
“I'll get the house Lager.” He said. 
The waitress left to grab the drinks. The adjacent table was still very loud. The group of friends hollering and screaming obviously day drunk. Konig had his head slightly turned away from them in an attempt to lessen the noise. It was subtle but you could tell. You reached into your bag and brought out a pair of foldable headphones. You turned on the noise cancellation and gave them to him. He looked slightly confused. 
“Put them on.” You encourage him. 
When he did the noise muffled and the restaurant was much quieter. You could see the tension in his shoulders ease by the second. His scent sweetened
“Is that better? Can you hear me ok?” 
König swears he could've kissed you right then and there, but he settles on a nod. 
“Thank you, Leibe.” 
“No problem.”
The waitress came by with the drinks and asked if the two of you are ready to order entrees. You ordered the fish and König ordered the Steak. While you waited, you two had a pleasant small talk about his flight and how he is enjoying his visit. He hesitated to take off his mask at first so you focused on your menu to give him the space to be comfortable with you. You glanced up and took in his face. He was beautiful, he had scars on his face that added ruggedness to his chiseled features. König noticed your scent amplify as you gazed at him. His inner alpha pushed him to be closer, to know more about you.
“So, you're in the military?” 
He nods. “I work for a military contractor. Do you work?”
“Sort of, I'm an author so I work from home.”
“That is nice, are you published?” König was secretly very happy he'd get to have you at home all day. 
“Yes, I am. I'm working on my sequel right now. Do you like to read? Or, do you read in German?” 
He chuckled. “I have not had much time to read lately, but I will now.”
“Well, you have to buy my book of course.” You giggled. 
König nearly fell off his chair at the sound. This Omega was everything he wanted. He prayed to whatever god was up there that you felt something with him. By the time the food came you both fell into a comfortable rhythm. He asked about your childhood and hobbies. It was a change of pace, most Alphas are very self-centered, but he is putting effort into getting to know you. The food came out and you both ate. He offered bites of his food for you to try which you happily returned the favor. By the time you finished your food, you hadn't noticed how much time has gone by. Kara texted you to check-in. 
'Hey, so I saw things were going well so I let you guys talk for an hour and a half but, your parents are getting antsy. Are you guys ready to see your parents?' 
“Oh, Kara is asking if we're ready to see my parents.” 
König fiddled with his fork. “I'm ready.” 
He paid the bill and you both left the restaurant. You took in the full size of the Alpha you matched with. He was no less than a giant. He held the door for you but stopped before he walked through. 
“I forgot something, I'll be back.” He walked back into the restaurant. 
Kara walked up to you. “How did it go?” 
“I...really like him...”
“I know, that feeling is scary. I think you guys are a wonderful match.”
König came out holding a small to-go box. He handed it to you, you could tell he was smiling under his mask. 
“What's this?”
Inside the box was a slice of chocolate cheesecake and a fork.
“We forgot to order dessert.” 
You were stunned, you didn't think there could be Alphas that were so thoughtful. Your inner Omega soared, this Alpha was courting you so well. 
“Thank you, König, that's really sweet.” 
“Ah, here they are.” Kara said. 
Your parents walked up to the three of you. Your mother had a surprised but happy look on her face. Your father kept his deadpan face from earlier, not a good sign. 
“Wow, sweetheart you caught a big one!” Your mom chuckled. 
“Parents, this is König.” Kara said. 
Your mother introduced herself and your father as he stood there sizing up the taller Apex. 
“Alright, let's keep things brief parents do you have any questions for König?”
“Well, as long as she likes him I don't.” Your mother said. 
“Can you protect her?” Your dad asked putting some venom behind his words. 
“I would never let anything happen to her sir. You have my word.” König answered without hesitation. 
Your dad nodded and looked at you. “You like him?”
“...Yeah I do.” 
“Alright then, that's all that matters.” 
“Well, I think it's safe to say that the match is made. I will contact you for the next steps. Parents, let's let them say goodbye.” Kara led your parents away.
You turned to König. “Thank you for meeting with me, I had a really good time.” You saw a faint blush at the top of his mask. 
“I also had a good time, liebe.” 
“What does that mean?”
“Ah...it means love.” 
“Oh well...” You motioned for him to come bend down close to you.
When he got close enough you pecked his cheek. 
“I'll see you soon, love.” 
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cannellaeluce · 2 years ago
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one thing that I can’t let go of re: the locked tomb series is the statement I think it makes about identity and permanence and love. Like, I guess we all finished gideon the ninth being in love with gideon’s pov and with harrow as the person she is in relation to gideon. Then we landed in harrow the ninth and we were robbed of both, and I’m sure we all felt like we lost something, and we thought the end goal would be to get to the point where we would go back to having the thing that we lost: gideon’s vibrant voice and harrow’s whole psyche. and then we landed in nona the ninth and... 
I don’t know for ya’ll, but that’s when something in me shifted. phyrra was in the body of her most beloved adept and got to live with her longing for him and for wake redefining her identity; we didn’t care for her in the previous books, but we got to care for her now, and she was worth it. camilla’s body was both hers and palamedes’ and the coronation of their arc wasn’t to go back to how they were when we first learned to love them; it was to let go of both their individualities to become a whole new person, and we readers - just as nona - got to experience the pang at understanding that we were to let go of our concept of camilla and palamedes as individuals, while having to accept that that was the truest form they both could possibly achieve, that they felt no loss whatsoever, that what we perceived as loss was in fact their triumph. gideon - our beloved gideon - came back and she wore another name and we got to love her again, but names matter in this universe, and we had to deal with the pang of knowing that we could love her all the same, but she was - in fact - not the same at all, and when she antagonised our new main characters we found out in surprise that we resented her for it, that our loyalties had partially shifted. and then...
and then there was nona. nona in the body of harrow, who got to be loved as a person separated from harrow because bodies are transient and the soul is what matters. nona who was born to disappear in mere months, something the people around her knew well and which didn’t prevent any of them from getting to know her as a fully fleshed individual and to learn to love her all the same. nona whom we readers too understood at one point that was a character built to fade away. we could have decided not to invest in her, then. we could have decided to be annoyed at not finding harrow in her, at not finding gideon in her. but we didn’t. well, I didn’t. I understood she was born to die, and I chose to love her all the same. because isn’t it how it is? isn’t this how love is? we are mortal things who fall for mortal things knowing full well they won’t last. but we choose to love all the same. the impermanence of things isn’t a flaw ruining what should have been perfect; it is the very essence of things. we got to love nona even though she wouldn’t last. we got to love nona because she wouldn’t last. that’s all fine, in the end, because we got to love someone, and you can’t take loved away.
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livwritessometimes · 7 months ago
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Paper Rings - Lando Norris
: Lando Norris x singer!reader
: Lando is the one y/n wants
: author's note: sorry for posting so late I work 5 days a week so it gets a little hectic to post during weekdays. But now that weekend is here I have 3 more parts planned lmk what you think of this one
: Part 1 | Part 3
: Series Masterlist
: Main Masterlist
Yourname added to their story!
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| mclaren replied to your story
-> 🧡
*liked by yourname*
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| kellypiquet replied to your story
-> I had such a good time tonight. P says she wants you to come visit more often.
Yourname: Tell P I’ll be there next week, maybe we can even go to the beach 🏖️
*liked by kellypiquet*
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👤: kellypiquet, maxverstappen1, landonorris
Yourname: Best part about visiting Max is getting to spend time with my babies 💕🌊
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maxverstappen1: Oh wow 👍🏻 glad to know where I stand in your life 😒
-> Yourname: 🫶🏻
kellypiquet: @/landonorris you stole my seat 💺 I stole your girl 💃🏻 we’re not the same 💅🏻
-> Yourname: You’re better baby 🥰
-> landonorris: i- wow y/n you’re supposed to be MY girlfriend
-> Yourname: 🤷🏻‍♀️
-> kellypiquet: that’s right bbg don’t listen to him 🫂☺️
User20: I don’t care what you all wanna say kelly/n are my endgame 🤞🏻
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👤: landonorris
Yourname: Life lately 🛟
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User53: lando be like: 👌🏻😁
User91: where did you get that book from
-> Yourname: oh I found this in a bookstore in Camden Market
-> User91: omgggg thank you for replying
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| landonorris replied to your story
-> I love you 🧡
Yourname: I love you too <3
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👤: yourname
landonorris: Life off the grid ☀️💨
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Yourname: 🧡🧡
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| user673 replied to your story
-> what happened to LANDO’S NOSE 👃🏻❌
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👤: landonorris
Yourname: Told him we’re going for coquette 🎀 my man went crooked instead 🍻🤷🏻‍♀️
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martingarrix: Can you race with a broken nose (asking for a friend that is not lando norris)
*liked by Yourname*
-> landonorris: mate tf you’re supposed to be on my side
-> martingarrix: like Taylor Swift said hates gonna hate, shake it off 🥂🙌🏻
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-> better treat her nice norris or you won’t like what will come 😌
landonorris: yes ma’am 🫡
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Yourname: I like shiny things but I’d marry you with paper rings 🧡♾️
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landonorris: i love you darling
*liked by Yourname*
User43: they’re so in love it’s disgusting (please never break up)
Yourname: oh also my new single drops tonight!
User06: GIRL WHATTT-
User588: she’s releasing a new song, this is not a drill, I said THIS IS NOT A DR-
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