#and she does perform in south because there are People There. is that too complicated for you. OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[sergle]

this stupid fuckin youtube recommendation was specifically formulated in a lab to piss me off

"RED STATES"? YOU MEAN THE MAJORITY OF THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES???????????

[calvins-dad]

I love this post. https://www.tumblr.com/drew-marsinvestigations/724745820429320192?source=share

I'm from the south, and I haven't listened to country music in so long because none of it feels authentic to my experience or beliefs. I listened to Tyler Childers for the first time today. I loved it. It makes me so nostalgic for the music I grew up listening to. Do you have any recommendations for more songs/artists with this type of music?

oh boy do i this is like one of my favorite things to talk about

putting this above the cut because they deserve the promotion:

Black Opry Revue is a collective of Black country and country adjacent artists that tours, offers artist residencies for Black artists, and generally does fantastic work promoting Black performers in a really white dominated industry. i've seen a set of theirs live and can't recommend them enough !! they are a great place to start for finding artists that fall outside the country mainstream :)

more specific recs below

i would say that tyler and zach bryan are two of the biggest stars of the country/appalachian revival rn and both deserve the praise they get

a tyler gem i would recommend is follow you to virgie live at red barn (really that whole album, there are no skips on it)

zach bryan's live version of revival on his all my homies hate ticket master red rocks recording never fails to make me want to go to a concert posthaste

orville peck is pretty big on tumblr and is a more country-western sound if you like that better! he has some incredible good music that handles topics like bisexuality and relationship violence with a lot of nuance and grace (he also has plenty of fun ones, but i like that he's not afraid to handle difficult topics too)

hexie mountains is one of my favorites by him because it deals with complications around home and distance in ways i love

ok now for some people who aren't as big on here but deserve all our love <3

adia victoria is FANTASTIC and has some really incredible music with a little bit of a darker, more gothic sound

stuck in the south is the obvious place to start

in the pines is also amazing and follows in the sacred country tradition of talking about the grittier sides of the south and trying to understand where you fit into all of that

valerie june is also a little bit less straight-country but she's doing some really cool stuff and she never fails to make me pull out my most exaggerated twang. her voice is amazing

astral plane is my favorite of hers

shakedown never fails to make me dance

i only recently discovered wyatt flores but i love the rasp in his voice on

please don't go

jason isbell has been around for a while and released music as a solo act and with jason isbell and the 400 unit.

morgan wallen (don't bother with him he Sucks) released a cover of his song cover me up that got a ton of press but the original is lightyears ahead of the cover

the nashville sound is no skips album from him

hope the high road off this album fulfills the niche for me i think this year does for a lot of other people

le siren isn't all county but i love her music

the banjo on yikes! Gets me as a country girlie

i saw kyshona live and her voice is UNbelievable

my own grave is my personal fav

the turnpike troubadors have plenty of bangers including

a long way from your heart which is another no skip album

some other bangers:

jersey giant - elle king

georgia to texas - leon bridges (the only reason he didn't get his own section is he's really more r n b but this song is about being from the south so it counts)

just let go - sturgill simpson (this guy's music is all over the place in the best way, and he produced some of tyler's stuff if you like that)

a life where we work out - flatland cavalry ft kaitlin butts

also everyone above is a modern artist but it goes without saying that classic country is full of people with interesting things to say that isn't the boot-licking-bro-country-sound folsom prison blues, harper valley pta, 9 to 5, the pill, cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other, etc are all classics for a reason !!

finally rainbow kitten surprise really aren't country, but they are a queer band from north carolina and everyone should watch their hide music video which is about being queer in the south and features several drag queens coming out to their families

in conclusion: yeehaw

[joelfreemanblog]

Megan Ewoldsen: Stay Grounded with Coffee Recipes

Meet Megan Ewoldsen, an influencer and owner/creator of Stay Grounded Coffee. She is a lifestyle guru who loves to share her knowledge on beauty, skincare, hair, fitness, motherhood and fashion. As a ballroom dancer and video editing nerd, she knows the importance of staying grounded in order to stay focused and productive. With that in mind, she has created Stay Grounded coffee as part of her mission to help others find their centre even amidst life’s craziness. In this article, we will take an inside look at how Megan creates the perfect cup of coffee from Stay Grounded as well as some delicious recipes featuring the blend that you can make at home! We will also get an exclusive interview with Megan about how she manages running a business while being an Influencer. Finally, we will showcase some of her favourite products used when making drinks or other recipes with Stay Grounded Coffee! So join us now for a journey into staying grounded with coffee by Megan Ewoldsen!

Megan Ewoldsen's Stay Grounded Coffee and its mission

Stay Grounded Coffee is a unique blend that was created by Megan Ewoldsen to help people stay grounded amidst life's craziness. The blend features a mix of high-quality Arabica beans from Central and South America for a smooth and balanced flavour profile. Plus, because it is pre-ground, users don't need expensive or complicated equipment to make delicious coffee drinks at home. It is also designed to be enjoyed hot or cold, which makes it convenient for any occasion.

The mission of Stay Grounded Coffee goes beyond just providing an accessible and affordable way to stay grounded; it is also focused on making the world a better place. Each sale helps contribute to ending global hunger, so with every cup of Stay Grounded Coffee you are not only staying grounded but helping combat world hunger too! In addition, Megan Ewoldsen also showcases her favourite

products used when making drinks or other recipes with Stay Grounded Coffee on her website, so everyone can make their own special brew at home too.

Benefits of drinking coffee

Coffee is a popular beverage that has been around for centuries and is enjoyed by people the world over. Not only does it have a delicious taste, but it also provides a number of benefits when consumed regularly.

One of the biggest benefits of drinking coffee is that it can improve alertness and focus. This is due to the presence of caffeine which acts as a stimulant in the body, providing more energy and helping you to stay alert throughout the day. Additionally, research has found that caffeine can also increase concentration levels and reaction times, making it beneficial for tasks that require mental agility.

Another benefit of consuming coffee is that it can help boost metabolism and aid in weight loss efforts. The caffeine content in coffee helps to kick-start

your metabolism by increasing your basal metabolic rate (BMR), which translates into burning more calories throughout the day. Drinking coffee before physical activity can also help to improve endurance performance, allowing you to exercise for longer periods of time with greater intensity.

Finally, drinking coffee may also have some positive effects on overall health by reducing risks for various diseases such as type 2 diabetes, Parkinson's disease and certain types of cancer. Studies have shown that regular consumption of coffee may be associated with lower levels of inflammation in the body as well as improved antioxidant status due to its high polyphenol content. In addition, studies have linked regular coffee consumption with reduced risk of stroke, heart attack and other cardiovascular conditions.

Tips on how to make the perfect cup of coffee from Stay Grounded

Making the perfect cup of coffee from Stay Grounded is easy and enjoyable! Here are a few tips and tricks to ensure you get the most out of your brew.

First, start by grinding fresh, high-quality beans from Central and South America. A medium-fine grind will give you the best flavour and texture for your coffee. Then, measure out two tablespoons of coffee grounds per eight ounces of water and place them in your French press or pour-over device.

Next, slowly pour hot water over the grounds until it reaches just below the rim of the device - about 200–205 degrees Fahrenheit should do. Allow the coffee to steep for four minutes before pressing down on the plunger or filtering away the grounds if using a pour-over device. For a stronger brew, let it steep an additional minute or two.

Once finished steeping, enjoy your perfect cup of Stay Grounded Coffee! The unique blend brings together smooth and balanced flavours

with subtle hints of chocolate, almond and caramel undertones that pair nicely with milk or other dairy alternatives like oat milk or almond milk. You can also enjoy your cup without any additives if you prefer a cleaner taste.

For those looking to mix things up a bit, try adding some cinnamon or nutmeg for an extra hint of spice; this pairs especially well with sweeter drinks such as cappuccinos or lattes. Additionally, Stay Grounded Coffee can also be used to make delicious recipes such as macchiatos and affogatos which are sure to delight your tastebuds!

Megan and her experience creating Stay Grounded coffee and running a business while being an influencer

Megan Ewoldsen is a successful influencer, entrepreneur and ballroom dancer. In addition to her lifestyle blog and popular fitness and athleisure wear brand “ME Threads”, Megan also owns her own coffee company named “Stay Grounded”. As an influencer, running a business while juggling a personal life can be daunting. But Megan has used her determination and hard work to make it all work.

Megan started Stay Grounded in 2020 after realizing that the coffee market was lacking in quality blends from Central and South America. She set out on a mission to source the finest beans from the region while creating unique blends with subtle hints of chocolate, almond and caramel undertones. To achieve this goal, she worked closely with farmers across multiple countries to ensure that each cup of Stay Grounded Coffee was crafted with the highest level of care and attention. The result? Coffees are beloved by people everywhere for their delicious taste but also for their amazing health benefits such as aiding weight loss efforts, boosting metabolism and reducing risks for various diseases like type 2 diabetes, Parkinson's disease and certain types of cancer.

Not only is Megan passionate about creating high-quality coffees for her customers but she is also passionate about educating them on how to make the perfect cup of coffee from Stay Grounded. She regularly provides tips through her blog posts and social media content on how to grind fresh, high-quality beans.

Through her hard work and dedication, Megan has successfully managed to create an amazing coffee product as well as build an impressive following as an influencer - despite having a busy schedule which includes running ME Threads and spending time with family and friends in addition to being a ballroom dancer. Her success is inspirational and serves as motivation for anyone looking to balance multiple areas of life while achieving success in all aspects.

Megan is an expert when it comes to pairing her Coffee with other products and ingredients to create delicious drinks. One of her favourite combinations is using Stay Grounded’s Colombian blend and creamy oat milk in a vegan latte. The combination of nutty, earthy tones from the coffee, along with the sweetness of the oat milk makes for a smooth and flavorful beverage.

She also loves adding a touch of cinnamon and/or nutmeg to her cappuccinos or lattes to give them a warm and comforting flavour

. This pairs especially well with sweeter drinks like cappuccinos or lattes. Megan also enjoys experimenting with different coffee recipes such as macchiatos, affogatos, cold brews and more! She recommends grinding your own beans for each drink you make, as this will release the freshest flavours from your coffee.

In addition to grinding her own beans, Megan often uses an espresso machine or French press for preparing her Stay Grounded Coffees. For those looking for even more convenience, she recommends investing in a single-cup brewing machine that can be programmed to deliver consistent cafe-quality beverages each time.

Megan is passionate about educating her followers on how to make the perfect cup of Stay Grounded Coffee every time; which is why she also encourages purchasing quality equipment such as burr grinders, pour-over devices and thermometers so that you can measure out accurate water temperatures during preparation.

Megan Ewoldsen is an inspiring example of how anyone can achieve success in multiple areas of life. As a lifestyle influencer, the creator of ME Threads, and now the owner/creator of Stay Grounded Coffee, she has managed to make her mark on each industry through hard work and dedication. With her passion for coffee education combined with her enthusiasm for creating unique blends from Central and South America, it’s no wonder that people everywhere have come to love staying grounded with their cup of Stay Grounded Coffee! Whether you're grinding your own beans or investing in quality equipment such as burr grinders and thermometers - Megan's tips will help ensure that every cup you brew is perfect in its flavour

profile. So take some inspiration from Megan Ewoldsen today and stay grounded with your favourite cup of joe!

[bonesbuckleup]

Lord, this answer got long. I’m a little embarrassed about it, but I wrote it, so it’s getting posted. It’s a literal essay. Sorry but also not?

TLDR: Yes, the show is arguably unfair to Sokka about Kya, but it also follows a pattern where Sokka stays quiet about Bad Feelings and plays by the rules established for his character. Katara, meanwhile, grieves loudly and often, and appears to be under the impression that because Sokka’s grief is silent it doesn’t exist, which also fits her character/interactions completely. Neither of them are right or wrong, but it sets them up on inevitable collisions.

Now. If you want to join me on a cactus-juice fueled descent into madness, proceed below the cut.

Number one. We’re referring to this exchange in “The Southern Raiders,” where the Gaang is talking about Zuko and Katara going after the man who killed Kya, which is vicious and brutal and never reflected on:

Aang: You sound like Jet. Katara: It's not the same! Jet attacked the innocent. This man, he's a monster. Sokka: Katara, she was my mother, too, but I think Aang might be right. Katara (angry, yelling): Then you didn't love her the way I did! Sokka (visibly hurt, softly): Katara.

And that’s it. Upon returning, Katara apologizes to Aang and not, as Anon is absolutely correct in pointing out, to Sokka, who is 100% the more injured party. Now. Is it possible this is one of the rare missteps from the atla writers? Yes. Absolutely. Is that the answer I’m about to write a literal fucking essay about? No. Because it’s more painful fun to take it as face value and talk subtext.

First, a reminder that this show is fucking good at what it does. It teaches you how each character grieves as we go: Aang explodes, often triggering the Avatar state, usually crying or angry, and when he does try to repress his Bad Feelings it rarely lasts longer than a day; Toph either shuts down or gets mad, but either way she doesn’t like people seeing her having Bad Feelings and often storms away, knowing that she can’t control it no matter how much she might want to; Zuko yells at the sky in a rainstorm or yells at his dad in an underground tunnel or challenges Zhao to an Agni Kai or yells at his uncle in a jail cell and generally is an emotive nuclear bomb because the boy has feelings and if he keeps them inside for more than three seconds he might explode okay.

Then we have Katara and Sokka.

Let’s start with Katara, since she has the most textual and straightforward displays of grief. She’s really the only one to talk about Kya’s death in Book 1. If Sokka mentions it, it’s barely in passing. I don’t think we hear Hakoda address her death at all (which I’ll return to in a moment.) Katara’s grief is loud. It’s angry. It’s still very much a living thing for her. She thinks she sees Kya in the swamp and breaks down crying, and tells Aang and Sokka about it with no hesitation. When she’s angry and sad at Hakoda for leaving, she acts out and is visibly upset with him, yells at him, cries at him. She out-loud hates Zuko when she comes to the conclusion that he told her about Ursa and got her to talk about Kya to manipulate her. It isn’t that her grief is performative, because it’s a very real and terrible thing, but it’s a grief that’s to be witnessed.

Then, Sokka. Sokka’s grief is more complicated because it exists almost entirely in subtext, especially in regard to Kya. We really only hear him talk about Kya twice, both in Book 3. First, to Toph, when he tells her that he can’t remember what Kya looks like. Worth noting, however, that even though it is Sokka talking, this is still centered on Katara and Katara’s grief. The next time is when Zuko asks what happened to Kya, and Sokka tells the story that leads into the initial flashback. Sokka doesn’t talk about his mom. This is a fact of the show. It’s such a fact of the show that, in “Southern Raiders,” after the exchange at the start of this post, while Katara and Zuko are on the hunt, Sokka doesn’t bring up Kya again and is messing around with Aang. Like nothing has happened or is currently happening--which I’ll come back to in a moment.

So while we can use Kya as a perfect example of how Katara grieves, we can’t really use her for Sokka. So let’s use Yue instead. Moments we see (or don’t see) Sokka grieving Yue:

In the opening to Book 2, we briefly have a shot of Sokka with the moon imposed behind him.

“The Swamp,” where Sokka’s vision is of Yue accusing him of not protecting her. This one is one of the more textual moments of grief--”I think about Yue all the time”--but what’s awful great about it is how Sokka tells Aang and Katara. Aang, obviously, has no qualms about sharing his vision. Katara openly talks about seeing Kya. Sokka only tells them about Yue when explicitly asked. Even then, he doesn’t mention what she said to him. From this, we can assume that Sokka is still holding onto a lot of guilt over her death--guilt that he won’t let Aang and Katara see. Anyway. Moving on.

“The Serpent’s Pass.” After spending all day panic protecting Suki, he tells her that he lost someone, but doesn’t go much further into detail, just saying that he can’t when she tries to kiss him. Of course, this is all happening in front of the moon. Again, though, Sokka stays vague. He doesn’t tell her any details.

“The Puppetmaster,” Toph posits that maybe the moon spirit has gone mean and is kidnapping people. Sokka snaps at her, in a moment definitely meant for laughs, saying, “The Moon Spirit is a gentle, loving lady. She rules the sky with compassion and ... lunar goodness!” It is a funny moment, but here’s what we can take from it: Toph doesn’t know about Yue. Toph is a Feral Bastard a lot of the time, but she also knows where the line is, and I don’t think she’d’ve said that if she’d known.

“Boiling Rock,” in arguably the most quoted (and well deservedly so!) line in the entire show. “My first girlfriend turned into the moon.” “...that’s rough, buddy.” COMEDIC GOLD. Also, weirdly, the literal only time that Sokka explicitly tells someone about Yue in the course of the show.

“Ember Island Players” which I haven’t hit in my rewatch yet, but I definitely remember a moment where Suki asks Sokka when he was gonna tell her he made out with the moon, and he tearfully shushes her. Again, played for laughs, but the implication is that he still hasn’t told Suki about what happened.

This plays perfectly into the same way that Sokka (doesn’t) talks about his mom. When the Bad Feelings come, Sokka either avoids them and finds a distraction (Goofs with Aang--see, told ya we’d come back to that) or stays silent. When someone explicitly asks him about the Bad Feelings--what he saw in the swamp, what’s eating at him in “Sokka’s Master,” why he’s panic-protecting Suki--he’ll answer, but often talks around the actual issue. (Interestingly, it’s in regard to Suki we see the most explicit manifestation of Sokka grieving as Azula taunts him during the invasion: he cries, he attacks Azula, he yells and questions her despite the fact he knows she’s wasting their time. I think this one hits him because, as this beautiful post points out, Suki’s the protector in the relationship, and Sokka can actually chill out for 2 seconds. But he let his guard down, and Azula got Suki. Anyway. That’s probably a different essay: back to the matter at hand.) We even see this in “Boiling Rock.” There’s a moment where they think Hakoda is not with the other political prisoners. Sokka’s tense, drawn tight, but the only thing he says is, “No.”

Basically, we’ve got Katara, who grieves loudly and rages and is kinda like white-water rapids that churn and churn and churn. And we’ve got Sokka, who, to quote John Mulaney, looks at his grief and says, “I’ll just keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die.” Iceberg grief, to keep the water metaphor going.

And where did these come from? Yup! Water Tribe gender roles! What we know from the show is that, while the South is typically more progressive (women can train as benders and marry who they want, at least) than the North, it’s still very rigid: the men are warriors/hunters/protectors, the women stay home to cook/clean/child-rear.

Now: subtext! And why I think they are this way!

We’ll start with Katara. The last waterbender in the South Pole. She no doubt grew up doted on. If I say she’s most likely a little spoiled, I don’t mean it in a bad way--I mean it in a she’s the last living remnant of this aspect of their culture kind of way. When raiders come, she’s probably the first priority to protect. Kya dies to keep her safe. Her needs are generally put before the community as a whole. (This isn’t to say that Katara doesn’t contribute or care about her community, because she 100% does). But! Especially in Book 1, we see Katara often considering her opinions as facts (trusting Jet, the waterbending scroll) and doesn’t always pause to consider the larger impact that her actions will have (scroll and Jet again, challenging Pakku, dressing up as the Painted Lady despite the fact the factory will hold the village responsible). And many of these actions are good! But we see a lot of Katara being pretty self-centered--what can I do, how does this impact me, how do I feel about this? And this isn’t a bad thing! This aspect of her character makes her complicated and complex! Katara loves her family and protecting people and caring for them! She’s extremely empathetic! But she also struggles to meet people where they’re at when they emote in a different way than she does (see: her clashes with Toph, her initial problems with Zuko joining the group, the above interaction with Sokka). It’s also worth talking about how Katara witnessed her mother’s death, which no doubt makes her grief about it a sharper thing.

Then, again, Sokka. Also loved in his community! But a normal kind of love, I’d assume. He probably was raised on stories of the Fire Nation dragging waterbenders away. No one exemplifies the Water Tribe ride-or-die mentality quite as well as Sokka, or the gender roles of the man as the warrior/protector, so you gotta believe Hakoda raised that kid to look after his sister at all costs, which we see throughout the show (already preparing to go after Aang in the South Pole because he know Katara’s going anyway, “You burned my sister!”) And he isn’t there when his mom dies. He finds out later. He goes from feeling like a victor who helped chased the raiders away to the worst realization of his life. I have to imagine he’s ashamed by the fact that he thought everything was going to be okay, which leads into his worldview of assuming that nothing is okay ever in any circumstance.

Finally, Hakoda. Who never, unless I’ve forgotten something, talks about Kya. All we know is that their family fell apart after her death (per Sokka in “The Runaway,” learning how Katara stepped up to hold everything together) and sometime after he took the warriors and straight up left. He apologizes for leaving but doesn’t address the fact that he left Katara and Sokka with no parents at all, only the war. This is, uh, not exactly echoing a healthy coping mechanism?

My theory: Kya dies. Since the Water Tribe is so embedded in gender roles, Hakoda probably shut down and/or checked out emotionally for a while. This leaves his kids on their own to deal with their shit, and we learn Katara does everything she can to keep her family going. As the most protected individual in the South, Katara’s probably been taught that emotions equal attention, and uses her temper/caring/sadness to help bring her community closer. Meanwhile, Sokka, who hero worships his dad, watches Hakoda go stoic and learns that “real men” shove their shit down. Additionally, Katara’s grief is deafeningly loud, and Sokka’s number 1 role is to keep Katara safe. He’s taught that the Bad Feelings only get in the way and make things worse, and so he learns to be fine no matter what kind of terrible is going down around him.  Basically, Katara learns to use grief as a needle and thread, and Sokka learns to bury it as deep as he can and avoid it at all costs. Opposite reactions to the same trauma. Katara gets mad and demands to be heard and listened to and seen, and Sokka gets sarcastic and prepares himself for the day the Fire Nation ships come back for his sister.

So. Back to those above lines from “Southern Raiders.”

From a writing standpoint, I do wish the final moment was between Katara and Sokka versus Katara and Aang. They could’ve had an almost identical interaction, but it would’ve been more nuanced. I don’t think that Katara needed to apologize, but I think we needed some acknowledgement from both of them: Katara continuing the lesson she’s learned about how her pain doesn’t entitle her to hurt other people (including Sokka, who is there no matter what she says or does), and Sokka that Katara’s process of grieving had to involve this catharsis.

Or. Maybe not. Because again--subtext. Their grief works in such different ways that I have to imagine this isn’t a new fight. It was probably brutal and vicious for a very long time. Maybe that’s part of what made Sokka try and go with the warriors. Maybe that’s part of why Katara gets mad so quickly in the first episode of the show. But eventually, unable to find an answer, they just...stop talking about it. Because the two of them don’t talk about it. Katara only talks about her mom with people who aren’t Sokka, and Sokka does exclusively to Toph and Zuko.

The only time I can think of Katara and Sokka talking about it together is the exchange at the top of this post, and it gets ugly fast, and it isn’t brought up again. It’s a fight that will never be resolved, because they fundamentally can’t react to one another in a way that can be universally understood.

“You didn’t love her the way I did!” Katara yells, loudly, because if Sokka loved her then why isn’t he raging? Why isn’t he getting his sword and coming to help her? Why doesn’t Sokka want to burn this firebender to the ground and make him see and hear and look at what he’s done to the world? To their family? He must not understand. He must not care as much or he’d be screaming with her.

“Katara,” Sokka says, much quieter, and adds nothing else. Not because there isn’t anything else to say, but because Sokka can’t talk about this kind of thing. Not doesn’t want to, but can’t, because it’s his job to protect people, protect Katara, and if he lets all those old hurts come boiling up he can’t do that, because that ends with losing focus and losing control and people getting hurt or going away. Why can’t she understand that?

And then they do what they always do. They don’t bring it up again.

[nct-lian]

her family

BIRTH NAME: bae seongmin (배성민)

ENGLISH NAME: matthew bae

RELATION TO LIAN: biological father

DATE OF BIRTH: august 18, 1972

AGE: 49

ZODIAC SIGN: leo, rat

BIRTHPLACE: seoul, south korea

HOMETOWN: seoul, south korea

RESIDENCE: toronto, canada

NATIONALITY: south korean

ETHNICITY: korean

SEXUALITY: straight

GENDER: male

PRONOUNS: he/him

HEIGHT: 6’1” (182 cm)

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: happily married

CHILDREN: liam bae, lianna bae

OCCUPATION: restaurant co-owner

SOME FUN FACTS!

he’s so scary- :D smile and nod, y’all, he might beat us up- KEEP YOUR EYES OFF LIAN THATS HOW HE GETS YOU

no because how dare you even GLANCE in his little girl’s direction she’s too perfect for that D:< (that’s his thought process 24/7; nobody is ever good enough)

was so against lian becoming a trainee; she was leaving home at such a young age and with who? nobody, she was literally going all by herself. he was terrified something might have happened

but now, he’s one of her biggest supporters ever! he hired employees at their family restaurant just so him and his wife could attend nct 127’s toronto show and surprise lian in the audience

people are always shocked when he mentions that he’s her dad D; he definitely found the fountain of youth at some point in time because this man does not age (neither does her mom because how are they almost 50- i ain’t believing it)

BIRTH NAME: jung hyunjoo (정현주)

ENGLISH NAME: martha bae, neé jung

RELATION TO LIAN: biological mother

DATE OF BIRTH: may 2, 1974

AGE: 47

ZODIAC SIGN: taurus, tiger

BIRTHPLACE: seoul, south korea

HOMETOWN: seoul, south korea

RESIDENCE: toronto, canada

NATIONALITY: south korean

ETHNICITY: korean

SEXUALITY: straight

GENDER: female

PRONOUNS: she/her

HEIGHT: 5’3” (160 cm)

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: happily married

CHILDREN: liam bae, lianna bae

OCCUPATION: restaurant co-owner

SOME FUN FACTS!

she loves taeyong! she thinks he takes care of her little lianna so well

used to be a hair stylist, so she would always put lian’s hair up into the most adorable styles for school (and also let her in on all the much needed hair care secrets)

would always take time in the morning to make a homemade lunch for both her children every single day before school

i hate to say it but she’s the reason lian still doesn’t know the english word for, “dumpling” (PLS EVERYTIME SHE WENT HOME AND SAID DUMPLING HER MOM WOULD GET SO MAD)

she was actually the one that encouraged lian to audition; she noticed how much lian enjoyed dancing in her free time and how she slowly developed a passion for singing as well

BIRTH NAME: liam bae

KOREAN NAME: bae hajoon (배하준)

RELATION TO LIAN: biological brother

BIRTHDATE: october 12, 1991

AGE: 29

ZODIAC SIGN: libra, goat

BIRTHPLACE: toronto, canada

HOMETOWN: toronto, canada

RESIDENCE: seoul, south korea

NATIONALITY: canadian

ETHNICITY: korean

SEXUALITY: straight

GENDER: male

PRONOUNS: he/him

HEIGHT: 5’11” (180 cm)

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: complicated

SIBLING: lianna bae

OCCUPATION: barista

SOME FUN FACTS!

he took a video of lian performing at a ballet competition when she was around four years old, and he posted it on his instagram for her twentieth birthday

once beat up a literal child because he made fun of lian’s school lunch that their mom made special just for her (he said that her mandu looked like brains)

so protective of his baby sister,, will really do anything to protect her at all costs; and i mean anything

their mom always brings up the fact that liam was the most excited little boy ever when he found out he’d be getting a little sibling, and he even jumped up onto the hospital bed so he could get a closer look at lian

now that lian is an adult, they’re like best friends, and he supports her career unconditionally (he moved to korea for university, so he was over the moon when he found out lian was becoming a trainee)

[whentherewerebicycles]

wow okay i am skipping the lingerie party lol and am instead going to just briefly jot down some thoughts before i go to sleep and wake up at 5 for my flight tomorrow morning. jesus christ i have ONE MILLION thoughts and feelings about this weekend. i want to preface this by saying that on the whole, it was a fine social experience! it was nowhere near as awkward or painful as i was expecting. or like, parts of it were painful, but it was 100% to do with my own complicated feelings about literally every part of this tradition and the wedding industry in general lol, and not anything to do with the people themselves. the other women were friendly and very welcoming, i made an event best friend who was wonderful company, and it was really fun to get to spend time with both my sister-in-law and her older sister, who was so charming and wonderful. i’m glad i came even though thinking about the $$ i spent on this trip makes me physically gag.

but okay i want to just record some THOUGHTS that maybe i will continue unpacking with some distance. i feel likeeeee okay here are my thoughts.

the social norms around femininity are just a fucking minefield and i feel like i really just gotta keep walking back the impulse to judge other women for the choices they make as they navigate around the manifold traps and snares and half-buried landmines that constitute the landscape of being a woman. like jesus christ. it’s so fucked up, it’s so fucked up, the received and socially enforced norms of femininity are just so fucked up. I think ALL THE FUCKING TIME of this margaret atwood poem i love so much, which was REALLY on my mind this weekend:

How can I teach her some way of being human that won’t destroy her?

I would like to tell her, Love is enough, I would like to say, Find shelter in another skin.

I would like to say, Dance and be happy. Instead I will say in my crone’s voice, Be ruthless when you have to, tell the truth when you can, when you can see it.

I feel like the first bit was very much on my mind throughout the weekend, but those last three lines have come to the forefront over the course of this last day, as i have tried to do some Thinking about what i observed/experienced/felt this weekend. whether or not this is what it means in the context of the poem, tell the truth when you can, when you can see it, expresses something of my complex feelings: I don’t know that I can tell the truth about femininity because I don’t know that I can see it. i am both too close to it/still emotionally entangled in it and too far from it to know which parts of it are ‘real’ and which parts are just performance.

i feel like one thing that struck me this weekend, in ways that i don’t know if i’ve noticed as much before, was that so much of the things women say to each other or do in these social contexts is performative, and they know on some level it’s a performance, but we are all going through the motions of doing and saying the expected things anyway. that has not always been clear to me. i have spent so much of my own life as a woman thinking that other women perfectly, seamlessly, naturally embodied the norms of femininity, and i was the only one (or part of a group of only ones) who couldn’t remember my lines, or kept fumbling my cues, or felt so painfully, self-consciously aware that i was playing a role that i could never deliver a convincing performance. but this weekend, after the initial social panic had passed, i started trying to get out of my own head a little bit and look for things that disproved the very strong theory i had brought into the weekend. and of course then i started seeing more and more of the little moments where women say one thing and do another, or profess one belief/conviction but then the whole corpus of their lived experiences and choices contradicts that stated belief, or whatever. and also just like, moments of pathos, where someone i had judged harshly at the beginning of the weekend offhandedly revealed something about her past that really changed my perception of her, or at least made me think like, ah god, i have to have empathy for and with this person, because i think she might be a complex person just like me, with an intricate inner life that her performance partially reveals and partially occludes from view, and agh, it sucks to have to think of people as complicated instead of as safely two-dimensional & easy to dismiss, and the reason it sucks is because then it forces you to realize that you share more with this person than you’d like to admit, and that some of your wounds are the same, even if you dealt with those wounds (the wounds of girlhood, or rather the emotional wounds that our culture inflicts upon girls, which then become tangled up in complex and painful ways with the lived experience of girlhood itself) in really different ways.

but also ugh. we are all performing gender norms but there is just something that does not feel playful at all about embodying conventional femininity. i can’t think of a better way to phrase that right now but it’s like.. the performance isn’t fun. it doesn’t seem to be fun. i don’t know that anyone here was having fun doing it, even if they were having fun being with each other. but it was like doing the intensely gendered social rituals was like, the price of admission? like it was the toll we had to pay to be together spending time in the company of other women? i don’t know man but it fucking exhausts me. like i can push myself to stretch my genuine empathy and sense of solidarity with other women much further than my knee-jerk judgmental reaction, but i can’t ever get to a place where i find any of those social rituals anything other than fucking exhausting. they feel so fucking joyless. they feel like things that many women have internalized as ‘things we must do in order to have relationships with other women.’ (please do not even get me started on how exhausting heteronormativity is i think i could write an entire other essay on how women use these bachelorette party-type rituals to spend time with their closest female friends, but the whole event is still implicitly organized around men, and these women’s male partners are still positioned as the priority in their lives, and the whole event is framed as like, a last burst of intense closeness between women before the bride is delivered over to her husband. like i KNOW that this is not how women think of it but all the RHETORIC of the bachelorette party, the little events and rituals and games, the little comments everyone makes all fucking weekend, good fucking lord, my jaw is so TENSE.)

anyway god i just AGHHHH. idk sorry this is definitely not coherent at ALL because i’m tired and still need a bit more distance/time to process some of this. i guess here is one last thing i want to register before i sleep. i am in my 30s now and i am living a life that is so, so far removed from the social world i grew up in. marriage is not a norm among my friend group, almost all of my female friends are queer women, many women i know are not partnered and have no interest in being partnered, and the friends who are in heterosexual relationships tend to be in very gender-balanced relationships or slightly nontraditional relationships where it feels like both partners have engaged in conscious reflection about what they want their relationship to look/feel like. also i now date women, am out as a lesbian, and spend most of my time teaching/working with queer- and trans/nonbinary-identified kids.

so like, the world i live in now is just so different from the world i grew up in. and sometimes it is easy for me to kind of downplay the intensity of my own gender distress as a teen and young adult, or to sort of - act like it was a phase in my life that had much more to do with me than with the social environment i lived in. i don’t mean ‘phase’ in a dismissive ‘those feelings weren’t real’ kind way, but more like, ‘oh that was just part of the normal growing pains of figuring out who you are and what kind of person you want to be as an adult - everybody pretty much goes through some version of that.’ it’s true that everyone DOES go through some version of that, as just like, part of the process of individuation in that age range. but also like. idk man. being back in this environment - straight white women from the midwest and south, all engaging in the rituals of heterosexual white femininity - was just so intense and so MUCH, and it brought back a flood of feelings and visceral memories that i feel like i will need to spend some time sorting through over the next few weeks. like, what i experienced back then really WAS gender distress, and it was so, so distressing. i spent the years from age 11ish to 24ish existing with this constant lowgrade baseline feeling of wanting to claw my own fucking skin off because my own gendered body felt like such a prison, and i sometimes felt like i literally wanted to destroy my own body because i could not yet conceive of an alternative to inhabiting that body or playing the role that had been handed down to me. until i started reading queer memoirs and inhaling lesbian media and (especially) reading about queer femme identities, i literally did not have an image or any kind of felt sense of what another way of inhabiting my own body might look/feel like. i literally could not imagine it!!!

and that is why the distress feels so distressing, and becomes internalized in such violent ways, i think. because it’s the blind, mindless panic of a trapped and wounded animal. except that you lack any real understanding of the larger social forces at work, or any language with which to describe or conceptualize what social norms are or how they’re enforced. so in your mind, the only thing you can see wounding you is your own gendered body, or the way that gendered body is socially 'read’ by others. and that is why you want to claw your own fucking skin off, just literally dig your nails into your own flesh and claw it the fuck off. because you can’t see a norm, but you can see your gendered body, and you can see the ways that it causes other people to react to you, or treat you, or hold you to a certain set of expectations, and so in your mind you are like: this must be destroyed. in your mind you are like, the only way out is to get out of this fucking body, but that’s impossible, surely, you can’t get out of your own body, so you have to settle for starving it and self-harming it and ruthlessly punishing it in a thousand terrible ways, because you might not be able to leave your girl’s body behind, but you can make it suffer and pay for what it’s done to you. 

i am old enough now, and have spent enough time thinking and writing about those feelings, to identify them when they arise again, and to get the necessary distance from them so that i can say, what i want to destroy are the norms themselves, and the distress they cause, and not the body that has done nothing to me but be me. so i am not quite as sucked under as i used to be. but i think that there is something about the violence and intensity of those feelings that i forget sometimes, or misremember with age and distance. it’s easy to be a little bit patronizing to my younger self (or by extension to my younger students sometimes), because i now live in a social world that is largely arranged in ways that minimize rather than intensify or amplify gender distress. but when you have no choice in how to arrange your life, and no language with which to understand what is happening to you or what you are experiencing, and no frame of reference to help you understand that this is a period in your life and not forever, and no models you can look to in order to discover alternative ways of inhabiting your body or arranging your life... my god, that’s quite different from being an adult with a wide range of experiences and with much greater autonomy over your own body and life. anyway idk i need to keep thinking but now i must go to bed and try to sleep five hours before the plane.

[popsiclemania]

mad for each other: a review of sorts cw: abuse

(i went into this show not knowing much except that it was about mental health and that people found it progressive. it’s 13 thirty-minute episodes, so it’s not much of a time investment.)

The first two episodes are pretty choppy in that the two “mad” leads dissolve into hysterics or uncontrolled rage every time they meet. It’s meant to show how they are misfits in regular society and also “crazy” by its standards. The man (Hwi oh) is a suspended cop with a history of assault and getting mandatory therapy sessions for his anger problem. The therapist is iffy at best.

Once we get past this setup though, the show becomes primarily about the paranoid female lead (Minkyoung) who lives an isolated life and in constant fear. She’s suspicious of everyone and takes steps all the time to ensure she can be safe in any situation, which often means she screams in terror and attacks people if they get too close or walk behind her for too long. (Which the male lead happens to do by coincidence) But is it really paranoia if your fears are real?

This is the part that’s amazing part to me: how they unfold exactly why she behaves this way. Why does she read into situations that seem harmless? Why is she suspicious of every single person she comes across? Why does she keep forgetting things she does all the time?

The narrative slowly delineates her history of abuse and the effects its had on her memory, her emotions, how she presents herself in public and her living situation. The focus is more on her and less on the events. I love how she consciously uses people’s assumptions about her “craziness” to protect herself. Hence, the open hair, the sunglasses and the flower behind her ear. 

So far, Hwi oh is barely tolerable as a character, nor is his problem something that moves me. (He’s an angry cop!) What bothers me also is that in a story populated with women, there are mostly two kinds: absolute villains and ones the ML admonishes for being terrible people.

The writer saves this from being insufferable by writing the main secondary characters— women’s association president Kim Inja, part-timer Suhyun and Samantha— with some complexity and their own storylines. (I love all three of them) 

It also helps that Hwi oh’s primary function from episode 3-12 (apart from romance) is to serve as a device to understand Minkyoung’s past and the journey she is on in the present. This is in addition to the arc we’re already on with her character.  

Which brings me to why Minkyoung’s story is so compelling. She’s set up as an unreliable narrator of any scene she is witness to. It’s drummed in that she doesn’t trust herself either. This is what the writer uses to chalk out the complicated aftermath of trauma and abuse. From ep 3-12, the show centres her and peels of layer after layer to help us understand her behaviour. This is a person committed to survival, to her truth, and to learning to rebuild a life she has lost. She is shrill, hysterical and rude, everything that makes it easy for people around her to write her off. But the writer shows again and again, how in the face of suspicion and disbelief, even from a well-intentioned Hwi oh, she is right about everything and has absolutely valid reasons for how she does and does not defend her behaviour in public. Each time I think ‘surely, they will not take this particular thread to its realistic conclusion’, they do. WHICH IS WILD. Because every drama I’ve watched so far (except Law School) has hedged on a story like this. It’s also not held the "good men” accountable for their own toxicity.

All of this is why the literal and figurative car crash of a last episode absolutely ruins everything they’ve built till them. Hwi oh is shown to begin coming to terms with his anger until he absolutely loses it for “good reason” in defence of Minkyoung. The scenes where she confronts him about how his treatment of her, despite his best intentions, is just a degree removed from her abusive ex are so great. Then they fuck it up trying to tie up the romance between two “misfits” with a big bow. Except Hwi oh isn’t a misfit, he’s a cop with a history of going off the rails for “justice” and “catching the bad guy” and one who doesn’t fix himself.  (This a trope far past its expiration date in murder mysteries, it doesn’t have a place anywhere anymore.) And he gets her back using tactics very similar to her abusive ex.

(In a limited way, I’m coming to understand why dramas make this U-turn. The writers are usually women, PDs are often men, and South Korea has a not-so-great relationship with feminism right now. I’ve also seen women there talk about what it’s like to confront men in public places.)

Popular media takes so long to catch to up how it validates violent male behaviour and what that violence even encompasses. (Like Bollywood has barely caught up to its stalker heroes, and the Salman Khan industrial complex is still at its peak. How do we even begin to talk about emotional violence?) I understand that and it also fills me with rage. It’s effect is so visible here in India. I would love to know what South Korean women thought of this show. In conclusion, watch for Minkyoung’s story and Oh Yeon-seo, for a stellar performance by Gil Hae-yeon as Minkyoung’s mother, for Bae Ji-won, Lee Suhyun and An Woo-yeon and end at episode 12. Episode 13 does not exist.

(ps: why is a drug lord, trying to zealously hide his face, getting his food delivery in person🙄)

[derivativealigner]

Well, I’m done rewatching season 2 of south park and I’ve taken plenty of notes and screenshots to document all the facts and tidbits I thought were interesting or just funny. Under the cut is a collection of notes where I progressively start caring more and more about fake children

Kenny’s house is full of empty bottles, his family eats frozen waffles for dinner, and his dad is drinking at the dinner table

Kenny’s and Kyle’s dads have some history. They were best friends as teenagers

Kenny’s dad is kind of anti-Semitic, he says Kyle’s dad was successful because he’s Jewish

Cartman kind of expresses agreement with Stuart’s anti-Semitism, which I think is the first time Cartman’s been clearly anti-Semitic

Kenny’s house has rats, but his room has lights that shut off when you clap twice

WOW KYLE wtf he says “Kenny's not really my friend, Ma. I don't give a rat's ass about him.” FUCKING RUDE

Kyle and Kenny have a fun little sleepover where they play “ookie mouth”, a game where they take turn spitting in each other’s mouths. This episode (S02E10 Chickenpox) is great for fans of K2 despite how absolutely disgusting ookie mouth is

The McCormick house was something Stuart and Gerald built as teenagers. A fort in Stuart’s mom’s backyard

Gerald went to community college

Gerald and Stuart have a fun fist fight by a pond

Kyle makes a haiku: Fatass Cartman was / not on the school bus today. / What a big, fat turd.

Kenny makes a haiku: When you rub your dick, / you might find a discharge that / winds up on the floor.

Kyle makes another: Ass full of pork fat / jiggles like a Jello mold. / Mouth is flapping, too.

And another by Kyle: I bet you don't win. / They don't let big fat asses / perform on TV.

Cartman responds: Shut your God-damned mouth / or else I'm... gonna... kick you / square in the balls... asshole

I spy with my desperate eye the beginnings of Craig’s gang, featuring Kenny with wonky eyes

Bebe thinks Kyle has a hot ass and she’s not shy about saying it

Bebe writes a note to Kyle, and Stan tries to pass it on but Mr. Garrison thinks it’s Stan’s note for Kyle and makes him read it out loud. So he reads: “Dear Kyle. You have got such a great ass. I could sleep for days on those perked cheeks, let me tell you. I'd like to live with you and wear your ass as a hat for all eternity.” (If that happened to me I’d be embarrassed forever)

POV: You’re Stan and you just said you love Kyle’s juicy ass in front of the whole 3rd grade class

The first time Stan’s mom and dad get a divorce is in S02E12, way sooner than I remembered

Bebe kisses Kyle when they’re playing truth or dare in their clubhouse, probably Kyle’s first kiss. Kyle thinks it’s disgusting (despite having played ookie mouth with Kenny which is arguably more disgusting)

Bebe breaks up with Kyle and goes off with Clyde, who says “Bitchin’ 😎”. Later Clyde is with Bebe, Stan, and Wendy at the club house

Cartman and Kyle have a fist fight once again. Kyle hated Cartman way more than Stan did very early on, kind of all along really, they truly were destined to be arch enemies

Kenny has food stamps

Oh, and Cartman’s made poor jokes about Kenny and twice (I think) Kenny has punched him in retaliation in the past 2 seasons. Kenny’s family is probably a bad and violent example for him

By the way, if you’ve ever wondered what Kenny says in the theme song but never looked it up, in seasons 1-2 he sings “I like girls with big fat titties, I like girls with deep vaginas” but in the remastered versions of seasons 1-2 (which is the version I’m watching) they changed it to the season 3-5 lyrics: “I have got a ten-inch penis, use you mouth if you wanna clean it”.

When an evil twin version of Cartman says nice things, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny stare at him in horror. Stan says, “Dude, this is creepy.”

Also, the boys say dude a lot. At least Stan, Kyle, and Kenny do, Cartman not as much

Kenny’s mom hits him when he’s hogging the blanket from his brother. Kenny makes a sad face and it made me feel bad :(

When evil twin Cartman comes to give the McCormicks some supplies, Kenny’s dad asks if that was his “fat, racist, foul-mouthed friend” so Cartman clearly has a reputation

When Stan gets scared of his evil fish, he wakes Shelly up and she slaps him. Their mom sees it and says nothing

But on the other hand his mom buries a body that Stan’s fish killed because she thinks he killed it so I guess she’s not entirely a bad mom

Kenny was supposed to buy a pumpkin for Halloween but he could only afford a squash and his friends are really mean about it. The more I watch the more I feel bad for Kenny (and Stan)

Cartman kind of has a shitty friendship with Kenny. He says “I hate you Kenny” because of the squash

Kyle is really annoyed by Cartman saying “hella” all the time, nobody else is as annoyed

Evil Cartman sings a cute little song while wielding a knife: You guys / are my best friends, / through thick and thin, / we've always been together! / We're four of a kind, / having fun all day, / palling around and laughing away. / Just best friends, / best friends are we!

Stan still has his dog, Sparky, in season 2

After Stan’s fish kills Kenny, Kenny’s mom comes over to ask about her son and she’s drunk and upset. Honestly seeing Kenny die all the time makes me kind of sad

Stan says Kenny’s squash isn’t a bad little squash. Very heartwarming. The squash gets first prize at the pumpkin carving contest :)

Cartman’s grandma and extended family live in Nebraska

When the boys go to Cartman’s family to have Christmas dinner, Kenny’s dad tells him to take any leftovers and bring them back home (he does it very gently and Kenny just says “okay” and why do I care that this fake child dies all the time and barely has food at home, like why the fuck do I care so much???)

Cartman’s mom is wearing glasses when she drives. She doesn’t do it in the later seasons but maybe she has contacts

Cartman and his mom sing a road trip song for 4 hours. Kyle says “please stop” but when they ignore him, he kicks Cartman’s seat and makes Cartman hit his head

Stan has a complicated relationship with his family, he says they’re dead to him because they didn’t want him to go on a road trip to Nebraska so Stan went without telling them

Kenny doesn’t eat at the dinner table with Cartman’s family, he just shoves the food in a bag :( I feel so bad for him

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny all hit Cartman after they wake in the night to make sure they’re not dreaming

Under his coat, Cartman wears a pink tank top that says BEEFCAKE. He wore it in S1E02 Weight Gain 2000

Charles Manson invites Kenny to go to a more secluded location and Kenny just says okay and goes, but honestly he should know better since he’s aware that he keeps dying

Cartman bonks his cousin Elvin on the head and gives him brain damage. Elvin gets better though

THE NEXT EPISODE IS GNOMES!!! TWEEEEEK!!!!

Token gets named when he’s put in a group with Wendy, Bebe, Clyde, and Pip. Craig’s gang is getting closer to becoming a thing!!

IT’S OUR FUCKING BOY TWEEK TWEAK BITCH YEEEEAAAH

Tweek says he’s awake at 3:30am because he can’t sleep, ever

Jesus, Tweek’s dad kind of sucks immediately. He says he might have to sell Tweek to slavery if his coffee shop goes out of business

Cartman says Kenny’s family is happy being poor and on welfare, “right, Kenny?” and Kenny says “fuck you” which is completely justified

When the underpants gnomes don’t appear, Tweek is worried he’s going insane and pulls on his hair

His parents say Tweek is jittery and anxious just because he has ADD (but the kind of severe jitteriness and anxiety Tweek has isn’t a symptom of primarily inattentive ADHD, even though people with ADHD do experience restlessness and can even have some tics and are more likely to have anxiety as a comorbid disorder than a neurotypical person is, but I mean come on, we all know Tweek’s slurping way too much coffee so even if he has ADHD beneath all that, his parents should stop giving him coffee and they definitely should not start lacing it with meth. Basically what I’m saying is that Tweek’s parents are full of shit)

Actually Tweek’s mom is kind of okay. She tells Tweek’s dad that he’s being shitty for using kids to advance his agenda. But… the agenda is against big corporations and I hate to say it but Tweek’s dad kind of has a point

Ew, the boys are giving a pro big corporations speech. That aged really poorly considering how shitty billionaires are

Aww, look at Kenny! He got scared of a crocodile that Steve Irwin is about to bother by jamming his thumb up its butthole

The boys are really excited about Steve Irwin jamming his thumb up a crocodile’s butthole

Oh my God, Kyle calls Cartman a fatass penis

Kenny is a mediator between Stan and Kyle. They ask him which one found this ice man in a cave first, but Kenny just deflects and agrees with Kyle’s name suggestion (Steve) for the ice man

I kind of like Dr. Mephesto. I’m glad he came back for Fractured But Whole

Stan and Kyle are having a terrible fight about who found the ice man. Kyle says they’re not best friends anymore and that Cartman is his new best friend and Cartman says “Sweet!”, then Stan claims Cartman as his new best friend and Cartman says “Killer!”

This prehistoric ice man episode is actually funny, I love it

Stan and Kyle are having a fight to the death

They reconcile and become best friends again. They both agree that Cartman’s a sucky best friend

Well, that was the last episode of the season. This was fun. South Park is actually a fun show

Kenny deaths:

S02E10 Kenny is in the hospital because of chicken pox. He laughs at Cartman’s joke so hard that his heart flatlines like beeeeeeeeeeeeeep

S02E11 Kenny’s head explodes after Stan and Kyle make him watch planetarium lights at a high intensity

S02E12 Kenny gets trampled in a mosh pit

S02E13 A cow impales Kenny’s head with its horn

S02E14 Ozzy Osbourne bites Kenny’s head off

S02E15 Kenny is killed by Stan’s evil fish, he gets spun in the fish tank until the water’s red

S02E16 The police shoot Kenny who came outside with a white flag during a hostage situation, then the police hit his dead body with a baton and handcuff him

S02E17 Kenny gets crushed by the underpants gnomes’ mine cart. The gnomes are horrified but Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Tweek are kinda like whatever

S02E18 Kenny gets squished underneath a conveyer belt

Onto the next season I go. I’ll watch the movie too since it was released around halfway through season 3

[sineala]

Hey! I know you've received asks about long distance relationships before but I hope you don't mind if I ask, too :) The thing is a bit complicated and I need some advice, and your story is just so beautiful I'm like, "please adopt me!!" There's this person on tumblr whom I have a crush on, sort of: we've never actually interacted because I don't have a tumblr account but she posts a lot of things I love and info on herself too, so I feel like I know her. 1/2

2/2 I'm ace and never dated, which is a problem because I don't really know what to do, and I'm also very shy, but... the question is... what can I do? i can't just send her a message and say, "I have a crush on you, but you don't know anything of me. Can we try to date?" But on the other hand I really don't know how to start talking to her... :( sorry, I'm just an awkward human being... and thank you for listening to my problems! But of course feel free to ignore me. Take care ❤️

Okay. Wow. This is a lot, anon. I had to think for a while about how to say this as nicely as I possibly can, but: I don't think you should do what you're asking me how to do. At all. I don't think your feelings are bad or wrong or invalid, and I get why you feel the way you do, but there's really not a good, kind, or fair way to get the outcome that you want. You can try to make friends with her if you legitimately want to be friends with her, but you can't be friends with her for the purpose of dating her.

I have more to say under the Read More.

You might find it helpful to read something about the concept of parasocial relationships. The tl;dr version is that parasocial relationships are relationships that an audience experiences with people like celebrities or performers. You, the audience member, don't actually interact personally with the person you have this parasocial relationship with -- everything you know about them is because you actually know the persona they are adopting for public consumption, rather than the person themselves -- but you feel like you know them anyway.

I'm not saying that parasocial relationships are bad. They can be good! They can be positive! I'm pretty sure we all have them. Heck, media fandom is basically us having massive numbers of parasocial relationships with fictional characters! Parasocial relationships can be great and inspiring! Having a favorite character or a favorite celebrity can make you really happy! Do I have parasocial relationships too? Yeah, sure, you bet. The Goodreads review I have that has garnered the most likes is the one that is approximately 50% me explaining that I have a giant crush on Rachel Maddow. I have never met Rachel Maddow. I obviously do not know the real Rachel Maddow, and I would not want to actually for-real date her even if both of us were single. I can just be happy reading her books and watching her TV show. There's a video game I like to play, Slay The Spire, and I have a favorite Slay The Spire streamer on Twitch, and at this point I have probably watched hundreds of hours of this dude playing video games, and because of that, I know a lot of random facts about this guy's life. Does he seem like he'd be cool to hang out with? Yeah, sure. Have I ever interacted with him in any way other than subscribing to his YouTube channel? Nope! I don't even have a Twitch account! Do I know him as a person? Absolutely not.

I'm saying all this because social media is a place you can have parasocial relationships, and the relationship you have with this Tumblr user is parasocial. (Incidentally, the relationship you have with me is also parasocial; I mention this because I feel like you should know that asking me to adopt you is coming on a little too strong, as an opening interaction. I don't mean to make you feel bad about this, and I'm sorry if I have, but since you're asking about how to interact with people you've never spoken to before, you should probably know that.)

It basically comes down to this: you don't actually know this person, but you feel like you do because you've read her Tumblr. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. That's not a criticism. That's not a value judgment. I mean, technically, you don't know me either. That's just not the kind of relationship that I have with you, or that you have with her. It's parasocial, not reciprocal. And you really need to keep that in mind.

Can you form reciprocal relationships with people you have parasocial relationships with? I mean, yeah, maybe, depending on the person. And the answer to how you do that is basically the answer to the question "how do you make friends with people?" -- and it seems like you might like advice about that, since you said you were shy, You talk to someone about mutual interests that you both enjoy. You hang out. Maybe in RL in Better Times you meet up and go get lunch together. These days on the internet I make most of my internet friends by (1) squeeing back and forth at them about whatever fic they wrote and clogging up their AO3 comments until we take it to email, (2) yelling about fandom on Discord until we mutually discover we are like-minded enough to start yelling at each other in DMs directly, and (3) murdering them in games of Among Us and then lying about it. (Games are a bonding experience.)

You listen well, you share some things about yourself because that's what friends do and if the other person wants to be your friend they will share things back -- or maybe they will share things first, if they decide they want to be friends first. This is how we humans like to bond with each other. I feel like I am not very good at this friend-making thing, so I am not sure I am the best person to ask for tips. But that is basically how it works.

Can you be friends with this person? Maybe. I don't know. You can try. But what I do know is that you absolutely should not try to be friends with her with the intention of dating her. People don't like when they think someone is friends with them because they want something from them, and, generally, people really really don't like when someone is friends with them when the thing they want from them is a romantic relationship. You know how you hear people (usually straight guys) talk about being "friendzoned?" They're upset because they're friends with a woman they want to date and the woman sees them as only a friend. That is the realm your proposed interaction is adjacent to, and that is not a good place to be. Don't be like one of those guys.

I think you should ask yourself if you would be happy being friends with this person if there were zero possibility of romance with her. If you would be happy being just friends. And be honest with yourself. If, after some soul-searching, you decide that, yeah, you would feel 100% satisfied just being her friend if nothing else ever happened (and you have to honestly believe this), then and only then should you try talking to her.

What should you talk about? I don't know; you must have something in common. I have made friends with people because we both enjoyed Avengers volume 3 and classic Star Trek. I made friends with a bunch of people in college because we all liked to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Smallville. I have made friends with people because I told them I liked the book they were reading or the pins on their backpack. I have made friends with people because we both were in the same science-fiction online roleplaying group as teenagers and it turned out twenty years later we were sharing a fandom, we now lived in the same state, and we also liked the same folk music! I made friends with my wife because I wanted to complain to her about a Due South fanfic I was reading and she didn't like it either and then I was translating a text for class that was in Ancient Egyptian and the footnotes were in German and I didn't know German (and still don't) but I knew she did. At that point I had absolutely no clue there would be any romance involved there; I just thought she was really cool and she seemed to think I was cool and then we just kept talking.

So, y'know, maybe, if you just want to be her friend, you can try to do that. You can find out if you actually like her as an actual, real person. But you have to want to just be friends.

But if you think you'd be unhappy if you were just friends with her, you absolutely should not try to be friends with her, because that would be misrepresenting what you want and it would also be very unfair to her.

(Edited to add: I guess the other option is that you could, in fact, just be like, “Hey, I have a crush on you,” which would be both honest and forthright -- but I feel like that has a very, very low chance of working. Hence all the other advice.)

I hope that helps.