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msclaritea · 1 year ago

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Young people might own a house now if they hadn’t watched so many Star Wars spin-offs – The Irish Times

Young people might own a house now if they hadn’t watched so many Star Wars spin-offs

Patrick Freyne: A year doesn’t pass without a Star War being beamed to our eyeballs. This week, with Ahsoka, it’s Rosario Dawson’s turn

Patrick Freyne

Fri Aug 25 2023 - 05:00

“War, huh, yeah, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing,” Edwin Starr sang back in 1970, as a retort to those who believed war was good for the creation of worldwide American hegemony. (I believe Henry Kissinger produced a pop single with this as the hook line.) Listening to Edwin on the radio in 1970 was the little-known film-maker and beard aficionado George Lucas. “This ‘war’ of which Mr ‘Starr’ sings intrigues me!” he cried. “It seems to be some sort of a ‘Starr War’, and what is it good for? Franchise potential, spin-offs and merchandising, a hubba-hubba, arooga, ka-ching etc.”

It is now 2023, and a year doesn’t pass without a Star War being beamed to our eyeballs via our personalised digital brain soothers. This week it’s Rosario Dawson’s turn. She dons the prosthetic tentacles and face paint of Ahsoka Tano, a moody space wizard with a glowy sword. “Ahsoka Tano” is the kind of fancy name Star Wars characters get in the 21st century. If this character had existed in the first Star Wars film, in 1977, she’d have been called something like Tentacle Face, and she would have been played not by an actor of Rosario Dawson’s stature but by a middle-aged bit player whose dreams were dead.

Say what you like about Emperor Palpatine, but he made sound infrastructural investments (employment-creating Death Star projects) and knew how to balance the books (blowing up costly planets)

Decades have passed since Lucas was first inspired by Edwin Starr’s melodic musings. Reboots of old comic books, cartoons, sci-fi properties and toy franchises created for 20th-century children have taken over mainstream entertainment for 21st-century adults. It has sucked in the best actors of the era. These days when a talented actor says they aspire to “play the Dane” they are most likely referring to Scooby-Doo rather than Hamlet. And this is why Rosario Dawson plays Tentacle Face.

Not everything created in this postmodern system of endless cultural churn is terrible. Andor, Tony Gilroy’s Star Wars project, managed to be a pretty incisive exploration of ordinary life under a totalitarian space government (Ken Loach’s Star Wars, essentially). It genuinely piqued my interest in space politics, and if I lived in space I would probably vote now. Ahsoka, on the other hand, is a story about a nice space wizard battling evil space wizards with very little attention paid to policy detail. Watching this show, I have no idea what my bin charges would be like under the Jedis. That’s relevant because this show is set in the period after Return of the Jedi, when the “goodies” have successfully defeated the “evil” regime of Emperor Palpatine. So you’d expect some improvement in public services.

There’s a lot of familiar stuff in the first two episodes of Ahsoka (streaming on Disney+). Our heroine is accompanied by an effete robot with an English accent. She has a friend who is in the army, and that friend has an R2D2-style sidekick who utters impenetrable gibberish that the army person then repeats in English. (Everyone knows a couple from the midlands who communicate like this.)

Stare at the Met Éireann app saying ‘ochón’: How to survive a wet Irish bank holiday weekend

There’s also a rebellious apprentice named Sabine. We know she’s a rebel because when we meet her she’s listening to space punk and driving a space motorbike on a weirdly empty space highway. Given that her space bike floats, this highway is a good example of the sort of feckless spending that probably typifies the Jedis’ space socialism. Say what you like about Emperor Palpatine, but he made sound infrastructural investments (employment-creating Death Star projects) and knew how to balance the books (blowing up costly planets).

The postrevolutionary Jedi belief system is vague and light on detail. This is possibly because many of these characters already exist in a vast, extended Star Wars universe of tie-in novels, animated TV series, video games, cheese dreams and fan fiction. The first episodes of Ahsoka don’t even try to stand alone. You’re required to do a pile of homework to fully appreciate the references in franchise material these days. And this is why everything is going to the dogs. Yes, young people may know Ahsoka’s backstory in painful detail, but if they hadn’t watched all seven seasons of StarWars: The Clone Wars they might own a house now. (This piece was originally written for The Irish Times’ opinion pages, so we’re keeping this as the headline.)

This said, there are a few clues as to where the Jedis sit on the political compass. When Ahsoka visits a shipyard in the second episode, we learn that when the empire fell “all imperial assets were dissolved and redistributed”. Another character, a nefarious businessman who has secretly been working with the Empire, mentions that his “loyalty is to my investors”. This makes the Jedi economic position pretty clear. For all of Darth Vader’s telekinetic choking of his underlings, the true invisible hand of the Empire was that of the market rather than the Force. (This was another potential headline.)

These characters like nothing better than to stroll and stare meaningfully at one another, presumably contemplating all of the backstory I am unfamiliar with.

Meanwhile, the Jedis seem to want us all to live in a van (a space van) and share our stuff. Now, Lucasfilm is hardly an anarchosyndicalist collective and Walt Disney wasn’t a big fan of redistribution. If he knew any Jedis in real life he would definitely have named them at the House of Representatives’ un-American activities committee. On the other hand, he was a fan of merchandising, and if there were a market for Karl Marx dolls, the Disney corporation would make them.

So the story so far: after a prelude involving some murderous lightsabre-wielding baddies, we meet Ahsoka/Tentacle Face as she’s antiquing in the ruins of an old planet. She finds a mysterious brass sphere that is actually a map to another galaxy, and then she is attacked by a band of violent robot ninjas who end up blowing everything up. Ahsoka escapes and seems fine with this destruction. Then the episode slows down considerably. This is because these characters like nothing better than to stroll and stare meaningfully at one another, presumably contemplating all of the backstory I am unfamiliar with.

In Ahsoka, everything – the sets, the ships, the planetscapes, the action – feels weightless, consequence-free and photocopied from other parts of the franchise. At the end of the first episode a baddie sticks a flaming lightsabre through the torso of a core character, but by the next episode that character is in a hospital feeling much better. And now your children probably have unrealistic expectations of what being skewered through the torso involves.

Our heroes then start digging about in the explody severed head of one of the ninja robots. They do so in the space hospital despite the fact that this might destroy the whole place. (Eat your heart out, Oppenheimer.) One of the things I liked about Andor was that actions had consequences and everyone looked worried all the time. These space wizards, on the other hand, don’t worry half enough. They’re living in a CGI daydream. And that’s why I continue to back Senator Sheev Palpatine for emperor. He gets things done."

Somebody is bitter. Poor, petty Patrick. He seems to have overshot a bit and completely missed the nonstop parade of the British-led franchise, Star Trek and its many, many, many iterations. To whit:

Star Trek: The Original Series

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Star Trek: Discovery

Star Trek: Enterprise

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Star Trek: Voyager

Star Trek: Picard

Star Trek: The Animated Series

Star Trek: Lower Decks

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds

Star Trek: Prodigy

Star Trek: Short Treks

Star Trek Continues

Here are the ones that were planned:

Then there are the ones that failed:

Phase II

Ceti Alpha V

Section 31

Twelve shows, eleven spin-offs, three animated series and I'm pretty sure there are toys, though none will ever top my Tribble keychain and copy of Brent Spiner belting out show tunes.

But perhaps I should have just saved my money. I certainly will now.

#Irish Times #This crap is beneath you

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studentofetherium · 10 months ago

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i always felt that it was just a matter of rebuilding their staff that had left, but it seems like they've finally reached that point

it's not like the studio was ever completely dead, since we still got tuff like MagiReco or Bishounen Tanteidan, but one anime every years, and mostly low profile stuff, is not really what Shaft has ever been about. everything ive seen from them in the 2016-2022 era is entirely fine, and plenty creative, but their upcoming projects are far beyond Assault Lily or the RWBY anime

really excited for the future of the studio. i hope it doesn't stop here, and we returning to getting new creative adaptations like they were doing in the 00s

i cannot express how hyped i am that i thought shaft were dead for years and then they announced madoka 4 and off&monster basically back to back, like i thought i would be staving but im actually feasting like a monarch

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dededaio · 3 years ago

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Kirby Light Novels Retrospective (Part 1)

Early-installment Weirdness Era.

I sure hope this won't die after part 1!!!

Kirby novels. This weird, weird thing that exists and recently started getting more and more traction among western Kirby fanbase. Despite the series starting in 2013, it didn't get popular (or even translated) in english (at least via fan efforts) until mid-2020. Ever since then, novels started to become essentially our bread and butter during times where HAL wasn't willing to share any game news coming up.

Kirby novels have a lot of great qualities and interesting stuff going on that I would love to dissect. In this retrospective I decided to look over novels in chronological order.

At their best, Kirby Light Novels is genuinely great series of family-friendly books that take it's target audience actually seriously and provide entertaining character writing with engaging world-building and consistent continuity.

At their worst... Well. You'll see.

There's a reason that novels caught the eye of western fans only years later after they first started coming out. And the reason for that being that early novels... Especially the first two are... Rough around the edges, to put it lightly. Let's dive into them then, shall we?

1. The Dangerous Gourmet Mansion (2013)

Score: 2/5.

After 00s which was a fairly rough decade for Kirby, franchise started to expand again in early 10s in Japan after few successful game titles in a row. Super Star Ultra (which was at the time the fastest-selling Kirby game upon launch in Japan specifically), Kirby's Epic Yarn, Return to Dream Land: all notable titles that started redefining Kirby as a Nintendo game series force to be reckoned with. So naturally, a series of light novels launched in 2013. What, it seems random to you? It shouldn't, since light novels based on videogames is fairly common Japanese practice. What is peculiar is that barely any *platformer* series get such luxury.

If you go looking for Mario or Sonic light novels you won't find any, trust me, I looked.

So why Kirby? If I were to assume it's kind of match made in heaven if you think about it. Epic Yarn introduced storybook "motif" into the series, it's full of colorful memorable characters full of personality and fairy-tale like setting that lands itself perfectly to children's book series.

The Mysterious Gourmet Mansion and all novels afterwards were written by Mie Takase. A veteran writer, who worked on many various light novels (including videogame adaptations like Shin Megami Tensei, Ace Attorney, Persona 2 etc) as well as stuff like horror-stories.

In hindsight, it seems like a bit of a random choice, because from my research of her bibliography, she never really wrote anything so specifically children-oriented before. But perhaps her skill and reputation was the reason she was taken for the job. And I mean, hey! This series still goes strong, nearly 10 years later, so it was probably a good choice in the long run.

Doesn't mean that this series didn't need a bit of time before coming into it's own however.

I won't be afraid to say that The Dangerous Gourmet Mansion is kind of. Bad.

Going back to this novel after all the ones that come much later was honestly a trip in itself. It's been almost 2 years since I first read this one so I had memories of few "iconic" moments, but otherwise, I mostly forgot a lot of details. And oh boy, there's a REASON why I forgot a lot of details.

Plot of this novel is remarkably simple --

A rich lady called Mrs. Parfaitski (or how she was "localized" in currently available fan-translation, Mrs. Pairfaitlike) moves to Dream Land and announced a party dedicated to her birthday with a huge feast with a ton of delicious food.

Obviously, Kirby and King Dedede, being huge gluttons they are, want to get to said party, but since the only way to get there is through invitations and neither of them got any, the only way they could get there would be through becoming Meta Knight's "partner", who conveniently got such invitation which can also bring one other person...

Obviously, this leads to Kirby and Dedede stacking together and pretending to be a different person entirely, a woman called Dedeby.

This plan works well (to huge dismay of Meta Knight who got greatly embarrassed during the party due to "Dedeby"), until a conspiracy starts to rear it's head with Chef Kawasaki going missing.

Right off the bat, plot of this novel is super messy. It's a lot of different elements that just don't go well together.

I didn't mention it in my general overview of the story, but novel doesn't jump straight to Meta Knight having invitation, no, first 3 chapters or so are focused on pointless sub-plot of Kirby trying to become one of Parfaitski's chefs to get to the party.

It's a very useless plotline because it does nothing to progress the story nor it does anything to tell us about the characters. Kirby being food-obsessed fanatic who isn't "picky" about what he eats or makes and Waddle Dee being neurotic cautious friend is a dynamic that was apparent ever since their very first interaction in the novel. There was literally No Need for this plotline to happen.

You can argue that this portion of the book exists to establish Kirby and his abilities to new readers. But considering Dedede and Meta Knight for the rest of the book are literally just... There. They don't use any of their fighting skills (hell, I don't think Galaxia even shows up on any of the illustrations until 4th novel, though I might be wrong on that) through out or anything, this argument seems moot since it's not like novel goes out of it's way to establish abilities of every character. Kirby himself demonstrates copy ability in the latter portion of the story where it actually has relevance, which makes this "introductory" portion even more redundant.

One third of the book is essentially filler until Meta Knight comes and SOME semblance of the plot started to get going.

Now, don't get me wrong, Dedeby sub-plot is probably the most entertaining part of the novel, partially due to overall absurdity of the idea of Kirby and Dedede cross-dressing together, but it is, also, is quite useless in grand scheme of things, considering both of them discard this disguise midway through, it never gets brought up again nor it impacts their characterization going forward (it doesn't make them bond or grow together as a team).

Nothing would change if there was some other way they could sneak to the party or even if Meta Knight could just take both of them from the start no problem. It all feels like padding because the actual plot of this novel been resolved in literally 3 chapters. Even then I would argue it didn't need to be 3 chapters since there was a lot of unnecessary fake-outs and build-up towards Wheelie and Lord Kibble being actual "bad guys" of the story, despite Parfaitski being the villain is incredibly obvious twist at this point.

Considering she's just a stuck-up rich lady, she doesn't really have any combat skills, so the actual climax of the story is our good old trio of Kirby, Meta Knight and Dedede arguing with her on why her locking up chefs in the secret rooms in her mansion forever (which is honestly kind of messed up when you think about it) is bad and it's. Very interesting way to handle third act of the story.

The way it actually resolves is also very interesting. Kirby uses mike ability to sing a song and "change Parfaitski's mind" but all he ends up doing is sing nonsense very loudly to the point of causing this woman to have a breakdown which they read as her having "remorse" for her actions. Mind you, other than that, they don't hold her accountable. Like, even if she freed all of the chefs, she's like... Not gonna face any further punishment? No? Alright, then, book.

It's such. Weird resolution. I guess it's supposed to be comedic subversion or something, but it didn't really work for me.

But honestly. Weird plot with weird pacing is not the main reason I dislike this novel. Main reason I dislike it is characterization.

Kirby and King Dedede in this novel are awful.

And I mean it.

Kirby has essentially no personality in this novel outside of loving food. None of his noble heroic, compassionate qualities are demonstrated. All his actions are motivated by food. And it genuinely gets grating after a while. It seems like only point of reference for Kirby's characterization Mie had while writing earlier novels was Squeak Squad, because I swear to god.

There was not a single action in this story that Kirby did that wasn't motivated by food somehow. It's so one-note and the running gag of him being carried away and mishearing everything and starting mumbling about food gets grating as well. This running gag actually reappears in future novels, but the reason it works there, while it doesn't work here, is because "Kirby loves food" is the only character trait he has here, while in the future he gets much more fleshed out and becomes more believable character in the process.

Now, King Dedede. OH KING DEDEDE. King Dedede in this and few following novels is essentially "Anime Dedede Lite". Despite having a passage in the very first chapter about how he has "empathy" and "manly traits", he demonstrates none of them in this novel and in fact won't demonstrate any of these qualities until at least the third one. Here he has little to no redeeming qualities, ALSO can't shut up about food and not taken seriously by anyone, not even his subordinate Waddle Dee.

Speaking of which, he is awful to Waddle Dee. I assume that Mie is genuinely been taking inspiration from anime while characterizing Dedede (because, look what's on the cover here?)

Anime Castle Dedede. Y E A H.

And what do I mean by being awful to Waddle Dee? He quite literally physically abuses and insults him a few times in this novel? Like, what in the actual fuck, pardon my French?

Anime Dedede's treatment of Escargoon was already pretty questionable, but at the very least they were both adults. While Waddle Dee's age was never really stated, in this novel and all novels that will come later, he's essentially treated as a kid, the same age group as Kirby himself.

Which essentially means, that this Dedede literally kicks around a kid who does nothing but pampers him even if he doesn't really deserve it here.

This is actually so wildly out of character for Novel Dedede, I forgot this was ever a thing, so when I reached the part when it actually happened I had a huge whiplash. At this point I wouldn't doubt that this novel is not even considered to be a part of novel's "canon" due to how weird and out of place many of it's writing decisions are.

Waddle Dee in general is treated pretty terribly here, he's basically only genuinely likeable character in the novel, gets no respect and kicked around AND shafted for majority of this novel, basically vanishing after 4th chapter until the very end, missing from the part of the book that actually tackles the story.

Other somewhat tolerable character is Meta Knight, who acts as a straight man of the group alongside Waddle Dee. But while he is tolerable, I can't say I particularly enjoy the way he was written here either. It's not bad, it's just kinda. Vanilla? Anime influence showing.

Novel's new character, Mrs. Parfaitski left no impression on me except for out of place resolution of her "conflict".

But with how much I berated this novel, is there anything I enjoyed about it? Even though writing and characterization in this book ranges from mediocre to annoying, there are some genuinely amusing bits of character interaction here and there shining through.

Kirby and Waddle Dee's friendship is genuinely sweet and pretty pure (for the most part) as early as this novel and will continue being one of this series' highlights

Look at them... Babies...

When Meta Knight comes into picture, I must admit, preparation for "Dedeby" and banter between Kirby, Meta Knight and King Dedede genuinely can get pretty amusing at times.

Example 1:

Example 2:

Example 3:

These are the moments that showed potential of Mie's writing. It felt like she genuinely enjoyed herself writing these characters interactions when they didn't involve mean-spirited bickering every 5 seconds or forced jokes about how much they love food.

Ultimately, this novel didn't age the best exactly.

2. The Big Panic in Gloomy Woods! (2014)

Score: 2/5.

First novel was very rough around the edges. But that's what sequels are for, right? To iron them out, to focus on the aspects that worked, to throw aspects that didn't work... Yeah, this novel didn't really do that.

Well, and did and did not at the same time. Quick summary time.

The band of frog kids that want to become "the more vile villains in the universe" decide to use Kirby's powers to get to the tastiest fruit in the universe in the Gloomy Woods all to themselves. Problem being that they don't know how Kirby looks like... So they confuse Dedede for him (since their characteristics of being very round and gluttonous are very similar). Dedede wanting to get to said tastiest fruit pretends to be Kirby.

This doesn't last very long however, as the ruse gets exposed and he gets split up from the rest of the cast, which makes him meet up with shady fellow who presents himself as the wood keeper and confusing Dedede for "a hero" wants to use his strength to get to "the starlight fruit" and mysterious "starlight crystal".

Let's start with the improvements from the last time, plot this time a bit more coherent. It still has quite useless elements, but not as much as the last novel and most of them feel like they justify certain plot-points more or less well. Climax in this novel also feels actually... Climactic instead of whatever was in the previous novel, which is also a plus.

Genuinely raw illustration.

My main issue with the plot of this novel is that, considering it came out in 2014, it's essentially a tie-in to Kirby Triple Deluxe. But unlike all following novels which actually *adapt* videogame stories into novel format, this one just... Takes broad strokes of Triple Deluxe's plot and "babyfies" it.

- Kirby and Dedede get mixed up because of them being "similar".

- Dedede is confused for a hero by a main antagonist and uses him to achieve his goals (even organizing a "fight" between him and Kirby, however not through possession, but misunderstanding, because Novel Dedede at this point in time is still asshole and dumbass)

- Setting overall is nature-themed (forest and shit)

- Debut of Bell Copy Ability and Ringle

- There is miracle fruit and hypernova involved in the climax

Which on one hand helps the plot of this one feel more coherent, but on other hand it feels frustrating that instead of just straight up adapting the plot of the game (which would help rerail certain characterizations like Dedede or Kirby) they decided to do this weird roundabout approach. Another reason why I believe Mie didn't think much of these novels at first and treated them purely as books for very little kids, knowing the lengths she will go while adapting some of the later game stories.

Majority of my complaints with previous novel also still stand.

Kirby is still characterized as food-obsessed brat who doesn't do anything out of goodness of his heart but just because FOOD FOOD FOOD FOOD. He is not concerned that Waddle Dee is worried for King Dedede, he is not worried for the fate of so-called "stardust crystal", he does everything in this novel only for the sake of food. And it's genuinely, so, so, SO grating.

In this sense, it's even worse than the first novel, because first novel at the very least was very low-stakes slice-of-life sort of deal. This one attempts to to tell more "adventurous" story and it doesn't really work all that well. Not only because a lot of the story is meandering around these woods with no memorable setpieces/scenes to break up the pace, it's also because none of the characters have any "heroic" motivations per say, except Waddle Dee, of course, who keeps being only likeable characters in these books for now.

King Dedede's characterization once more suffers from the same issue as the last novel, so I don't have as much to say on it here. Admittedly he's slightly *less* insufferable than in the last novel, but it's probably purely because he gets less spotlight than Kirby this time.

Meta Knight in this one feels even more like his anime counterpart, because he essentially doesn't do anything except for dumping exposition about Gloomy Woods and the stardust fruit. Once again he doesn't do anything fighting, but at least he brought his sword with him this time, I guess.

Now, what about this novel's original characters? There's much more of them than in the last novel, after all.

Honestly, I genuinely have nothing to say about them. Their designs are... alright, I guess, the wood keeper looks like Magolor rip-off while frog kids look like Kirby anime OCs rejects.

Issue with them as characters, is that there is too much of them for this kind of story. They all kinda blend together. I don't really recall personalities any of the frog kids and all I can say about them is that they went through "redemption arc" before they could even do anything of their own agency as characters, while wood-keeper is genuinely just. Magolor-lite. Pretends to be a good dude, but lies through his teeth and wants some sort of artifact.

Only lacks any of Magolor's charisma or personality that made him such iconic character to begin with. Fairly mediocre cast all things considered and I don't see the reason why there needed to be so many new characters introduced at once.

This novel feels more competently made than the first one, but it doesn't go above it too much in terms of quality. It often faces the same faults and got a few of it's own (like being fairly poor tie-in into then recent videogame).

Though, honestly, I think I might prefer the first one over this. Why, you might say? Well... First one might be very bizarre and have unlikeable mean-spirited characterization of the cast, the fact that it's SO WEIRD makes it very memorable and it has genuinely funny character interactions at times.

This one didn't really make me smile one bit and it being more straightforward in terms of the story just made it more boring in the result. It being slightly more competent kinda removed "so bad it's good" factor first novel had going for it, so it ends just being "eh".

Ultimately, what it comes down to it, both novels aren't awful. But they are very mediocre kids books with nothing special about them.

I can see the target audience getting the kick out of them and they probably did, considering that series continued way past those two. But again, issue lies that this novel series itself proved that it can be much more than this. It can be more than mediocre kids books that sell you with colorful cover-art and familiar characters. They can be genuinely great stories with great characters that give you insight on the side of Kirby's universe you wouldn't get in the games.

But these novels don't really give you that, which is a shame. However, I'm glad that they exists. Because thanks to these two novels being a success, we have all actually good novels to read and enjoy, where all potential that shined here and there in these novels finally got to be fully realized.

However, there's really little reason to go back to this one unless you really want to read entire series through. It might just give you wrong impression and discourage you from trying reading out future installments. I recommend going back to these ones only AFTER you got into the novel series, just to see these humble roots of what became one of the most long-running tie-in Kirby series.

And to laugh at Meta Knight Blimp.

#kirby #king dedede #meta knight #waddle dee #kirby light novels #kirby light novels retrospective #gosh this is a LOT lmao #longpost

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dialovers-translations · 3 years ago

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DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Vol. 4 Sakamaki Subaru [Track 3]

Original title: 想うがゆえに

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 4 Sakamaki Subaru

Audio: Here [Original & Adjusted pitch version available]

Seiyuu: Takashi Kondou

Translator’s note: Subaru’s gentle side at the very end of this track had me MELT. So far, he is doing a better job at keeping his composure than I thought. He even went to consult Reiji even though he obviously doesn’t enjoy asking his older brothers for help!! I don’t mean to excuse any of the behavior these boys show in HDB and some of the early era CDs, but they can be such sweethearts in more recent installments. ;w; I want a boyfriend who looks after me like this tbh.

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→ LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 3: Because I Love You

“ーーUgh!!”

*THUD*

“This crap’s in the damn way! Who left their shit layin’ ‘round here!?”

You run up to Subaru.

“...! You...What are you doin’ here?”

You seem worried about his behavior.

[00:17] “I only moved it ‘cause it was in the way. Don’t make a fuss. ...Anyway, a sick person shouldn’t be wanderin’ ‘round. Get back to your room and rest up already.”

You reluctantly leave.

*TIMESKIP*

*Knock knock*

“...Aah!? Who is it?”

You answer.

“Tsk...”

Subaru opens the door for you.

[00:58] “...I believe I told you to stay put in your own room? Do you have any idea of your current condition? You’ve barely been able to attend classes since then. When you keep bein’ so reckless with your own health...it pisses me off.”

You tell him you’re here because you’re worried.

“You came to check up on me ‘cause you realized I’ve been in a bad mood? Hah! Digustin’.”

You approach Subaru.

“Hah? What do you want? Back off.”

You offer your blood.

[01:37] “Hah? No thank you. You really think I’m gonna suck your blood in your current condition?”

You insist.

“You came ‘cause you want your blood sucked? Under any other circumstances, I’d applaud you.”

You tell him that having some blood might improve his mood.

“I’m not upset ‘cause I haven’t had blood in a while. Besides, you’re talkin’ as if goin’ without blood for a lil’ while is that big of a deal. I wreck stuff all the time, don’t I?”

You wonder if it’s maybe because he has been holding himself back.

“I haven’t been holdin’ back...! I justーー ...Ugh...Whatever. Just go back already.”

You beg again.

[02:22] “...Che! ‘I’m begging you’...? Why are you so persistent? Haah...Fuck... (mutters under his breath) You don’t even know how I feel... ーー Will you be happy once I suck your blood?”

You nod.

“You’ll return to your room and behave, right?”

You promise.

“Haah...Don’t blame me if you faint on me. ...Anyway, come in.”

You enter the room.

[03:00] “Hah...I honestly didn’t think you were this stubborn. I’ll suck your blood ‘cause you keep on bein’ nosy, but don’t expect it to last long. The neck...Probably isn’t the best idea right now. I’ll suck from your fingertip instead. Show me.”

*Rustle*

Subaru bites your finger.

*Gulp gulp*

“...Mph!? ...Haah, haah...What was that just now?”

You frown.

[03:40] “Your blood tastes...different. Is it ‘cause there’s somethin’ wrong with your heart? ...Che! This is exactly why I was opposed to this idea!”

You seem hurt.

“...What!?”

You tell him to have some more.

Subaru: …Hah? Whatever, just rest up for now. We can talk later.

You continue to voice your concerns.

"Did you not hear me!? I don’t give a damn ‘bout that right now!”

You frown.

[04:11] “Haah…What’s wrong with you? Your heart’s seriously fucked up, it’s even altering the taste of your blood, yet the thing that worries you is that it’s no longer ‘special’…!? Just how stupid are you!? That shit doesn’t matter at aー… Ugh…Che…Argh!!”

*THUD*

"Haah, haah…That side of you really does piss me off.”

Subaru leaves the room.

*TIMESKIP*

[05:01] “...Oi! I’m comin’ in!”

Subaru enters your room.

“Heh. Looks like you’re bein’ a good girl and restin’ up today, huh?”

You ask why he isn’t at school.

“Hah? I skipped. You’re stayin’ home too, so you’re in no position to talk. ...My bad for interruptin’ your sleep but we’re headin’ out. Get ready.”

You tilt your head to the side, asking where you’re headed.

“You’ll see when we get there. Now just come with me.”

*TIMESKIP*

[05:42] “What are you doin’...? Hurry up. ...Are we surprised I took you to the Demon World? It’s not like you’ve never been here before, is it? We’re at my family’s castle as well, so no need to be so wary. ーー Come on, follow me.”

The two of you continue walking.

*TIMESKIP*

[06:08] “...Seems like it’s been kept clean. This is your room. Make yourself at home. Tell me if there’s anythin’ you want. I’ll have it arranged.”

You seem confused.

“What?”

You ask him why you are here.

“...What do you mean ‘why’? ...I figured to give you some peace and quiet time, the Demon World would work best. You can barely get any proper rest at that manor ‘cause of all those noisy pests runnin’ ‘round, right?”

*Rustle*

[06:43] “I consulted Reiji yesterday night. ...About your condition. That’s when he told me that making sure you keep calm to avoid any additional strain on your heart should be my top priority right now. But I can’t imagine that Ayato and Kanato will listen even if we were to explain that to them. That’s when I had the idea to bring you here instead. Those guys would rather choke than set foot inside this place after all.”

You smile.

“...Ah. Why do you seem so happy?”

You thank him for his kindness.

[07:22] “...!! No need to thank me. ...Anyway, stop standin’ there and lie down already! I just told you we came here so you could get some rest, didn’t I?”

You lie down on the bed.

*Rustle*

“How’s your heart right now? You feel fine?”

You nod.

“Ah...I see.”

Subaru takes a seat on the edge of the bed.

“...My bad for what happened yesterday.”

You tilt your head to the side.

[08:00] “I said a bunch of mean things to you...even though you were feelin’ unwell, remember? How should I put it...I just got irritated thinking of you...Ah! D-Don’t take that the wrong way! I don’t mean it as in I got mad or fed up with you! ...I’m just worried. There’s obviously someting wrong with your body right now. I confirmed that yesterday. When I start thinking about that, I just can’t seem to calm myself down.”

You ask if he is worried.

“I’ve been sayin’ that this whole time, haven’t I? Do you really think I’d go through the trouble of bringin’ you here if I wasn’t at least a lil’ worried?”

You seem relieved.

“...Ah?”

You admit that you were worried he had grown tired of you.

“Haahー!? Why would you think that!?”

You refer to yesterday when he stopped drinking your blood.

[09:03] “...I didn’t stop drinkin’ your blood yesterday ‘cause I didn’t enjoy the taste of it. It’s not ‘cause I dislike you now or anythin’ either...If I suck your blood, your condition might worsen, right? That’s why I didn’t want to have any. ーー Anyway, were you so fixated on the whole blood thing ‘cause you were scared I no longer liked you? You were really goin’ on ‘bout it no longer bein’ special and all...”

You nod.

“Hah! Ridiculous...”

You puff out your cheeks.

[09:42] “Aah, I know, I know! ...Come on, a sick person shouldn’t make a fuss. But really...Hah. It really is stupid.”

*Rustle*

*Smooch*

“...How on earth could I ever hate you? ...Well, I won’t deny that you grind my gears at times. But you make me happy far more often.”

You smile.

[10:14] “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you smile like that. ...Haah, I’m sure you’re most worried about your own condition. For now, I’ll try askin’ Reiji for advice again in the morning. He promised me he’d look into what could be causin’ this, so he might have found somethin’ by now. I don’t like havin’ to rely on that guy, but I guess it can’t be helped if it’s for your sake. Let’s make sure you get better soon. It’s no fun seein’ you all weakened like this.”

You nod.

*TIMESKIP*

“ーー You’re useless! Whatever!”

Subaru bursts out the room.

[11:12] “Che...Reiji, that bastard! He hasn’t found anytin’ useful, yet he keeps on givin’ me these lectures! Why hasn’t he figured out what’s causin’ it or how to cure it...!? ーー Tsk! I wasn’t bein’ serious when I said it’d be great if I could simply replace her heart but...Do I really have no other choice but to pin my hopes on some made-up story? But if there’s really no other way...”

*TIMESKIP*

Subaru enters the castle.

[11:51] ( When I returned to the castle after that disappointment, I found her asleep in her room. It was obvious she had been sleeping more frequently, and for longer periods of time. Just thinking about what that might mean...Breaks my spirit. )

He walks to the side of your bed and takes a seat.

*Rustle*

“Haah...”

[12:22] ( Only a few days have passed since her heart’s condition has been off, but her arms, fingers and even neck have been visibly getting thinner. This wouldn’t happen from simply feeling a little under the weather. It’s all happening way too fast. )

“I don’t think I have the time to weigh my options. ...I know it’s nothin’ but a stupid fairytale, but I guess it’s worth a shot...”

*TIMESKIP*

You wake up.

[12:22] “...Hm? You’re awake?”

You ask if he went to see Reiji.

“Yeah. I hope you stayed in bed while I was away? Well, I guess you’re in no condition to walk ‘round right now...”

You ask if Reiji found anything.

“Aah. Reiji said he hasn’t quite figured it out either. It was a big waste of time! He did promise to try and make some kind of medicine, but I’m not very hopeful.”

You frown.

[13:47] “Say...I don’t like sayin’ this when I only just got back but...Do you mind if I head out again? It might...take a while this time. I’m honestly worried ‘bout leavin’ you behind in your current state but well...There’s Familiars present at the castle and I’ll make sure to ask Reiji to check up on you every now and then as well. He’s annoyin’, but I guess it’s better than bein’ all by yourself.”

You wonder where he is going.

“I’m...going to look for a certain something.”

You tilt your head to the side.

[14:28] “I can’t say anythin’ more right now. I don’t even know if it actually exists. You just have some faith in me and wait here...’Kay?”

*Rustle*

“I’m sorry...”

Subaru embraces you.

“...I promise to find a cure somehow. ..No matter what.”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #subaru sakamaki #diabolik lovers daylight #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

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na-na-na-nanna · 4 years ago

Text

Catching Feelings

Part: six

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Wordcount: 5980

Pairing: goblin!Yoongi x reader

Warnings: cursing, drinking, smoking, kissing

Summary: Yoongi, a 700 year old goblin who has grown tired of his eternal excistence and wishes to become human, must gain all the human emotions before he can achive this, but the only way to do so is by kissing the humans who possess them

A/N: this got a lot longer than i planned, so i hope it’s not too boring. Also hope the shift in narrator won’t be too confusing. Anyways I’m a little nervous about this chapter

[20:28]

Yoongi had experienced human parties before, but to be frank it had been quite awhile. The last time was probably back in the Joeson era if he remembered correctly. At that time Jin had dragged him along, and forced him to partake in every human activity imaginable, and so he did. He drank their alcohol, sang their songs and played their games much to everyone else’s amusement. Yoongi didn’t particularly understand why his old friend and the humans he used to surround himself with wanted to dedicate so much of their mortal time doing such silly things, but then again he never really understood much about them to begin with.

“Which one of these say ‘I’m down to do it, but I’m not a slut?’” Yoongi was immediately snapped out of his trip down memory lane as Jungkook waved, what looked to him like, two identical black t-shirts in front of his face.

“I don’t know,” Yoongi answered truthfully.

The younger man was clearly unsatisfied with the lack of help and let out a big sigh before turning his attention to Jin.

“Same question,” He said, and Jin examined the two options that had been laid before him for a second before he let out a short “left one”.

For the next couple of minutes Yoongi just sat on the coach and quietly watched as Jungkook and Jin were bickering with one another over some expensive watch of Jin’s that Jungkook wanted to borrow for the party.

“You never let me borrow any of your stuff” Jungkook whined.

“That’s because they’re my stuff” The older one huffed in response.

“But you have so many, and you never go out,” Jungkook began to argue. “Don’t you think it’s a shame that no one gets to see them?”

“Not my problem,” Jin said without giving an ounce of care for what the boy had just said, and said boy knew he had lost yet another argument with his immortal master.

Jin had changed a lot since Yoongi had last encountered him, he had noticed, and he couldn’t figure out if it was simply just the passing time or if it was living in the human world that was the course of his drastic change of character. The great and beautiful Kim Seokjin, that Yoongi remembered from centuries ago, loved humans and would never pass on an opportunity to be around them. Back then Yoongi had struggled to understand Jin’s fascination with mankind, but had nonetheless always followed his friend's request to indulge in anything the human world had to offer.

It was strange how the tables had turned, and it was now Yoongi that was chasing after humanity while it seemed like Jin had left it behind. This change was truly strange, Yoongi thought, he could have sworn that Jin at some point even had a human…

“The car is ready for you now,” Jin said to the two party goers in his house.

“Sweet!” Jungkook exclaimed “I call shotgun”

[21:02]

The moment Yoongi and Jungkook stepped out of the car, the cold winter air hit them like a titlewave, and Jungkook was regretting his decision to wear the short sleeved shirt. He tried to hide the shiver that was taking over his body as two girls, which were also wearing outfits that did not seem to fit the weather conditions, walked by. It didn't make sense to wear so little clothing this time of year, Yoongi thought, and he wondered what could be the reason why humans choose to expose so much skin despite it being so impractical.

As the two girls passed them, Jungkook sent them a slight head nod followed by a cheesy smile, which immediately sent the girls into a fit of giggles. Once the girls were out of hearing distance Jungkook nudged Yoongi in the side with his elbow and with a smug smile on his face he said “See what I mean? A smile like that will make any girl’s knee weak”. Yoongi nodded as to show he had heard the information given to him, but he was still processing what actually to do with it.

“You should try it”

“Try what?” Yoongi asked.

“Try smiling for once,” Jungkook commanded “Like this” To demonstrate his face morphed into a big warm smile, almost textbook perfect. Yoongi studied his face for a bit before he tried to mimic the expression. He slowly opened his mouth to show off his teeth like Jungkook was doing. It seemed a little awkward, maybe he wasn’t showing enough of the inside of his mouth, maybe he needed to make the smile even bigger. And so he did, putting his gums on full display for anyone to see.

“Jesus Christ! What the hell is that?” Jungkook exclaimed in terror upon seeing the goblin’s miserable attempt at smiling.

“Am I not performing it accordingly?” Yoongi questioned his teacher.

“If your a bloody psychopath, maybe”

“So I am doing it correctly?”

“No that’s not what I meant,” Jungkook said, a bit frustrated. “Maybe you should just stick to not smiling for now. You know, go for the whole dark and quiet mysterious guy type of thing instead. Girls dig that too.” Yoongi didn’t really need the humans to “dig” him. He just needed them to be able to share their emotions with him, but he did like the idea of doing it quietly. He wasn’t so sure about the mysterious part though.

“You just let me do the talking, okay?”

“Okay”

Yoongi barely got to respond, not that he had much to say anyways, before Jungkook was dragging him into the apartment complex where the party was taking place. Even though it was still early in the evening the small apartment was filled to the brim with intoxicated humans who all looked to be enjoying themselves, at least Yoongi thought so. He had observed that humans were a fairly social species and liked to be around each other, even though it meant being packed together in limited spaces like this. This fact was also a mystery for Yoongi, but then again solitude had for the most part of his long life been the only thing he had known.

“Taehyung!!” Jungkook shouted from across the room. “Over here!” Once Jungkook had caught the attention of the man he was calling, said man made it through the crowd of people to where they were standing.

“Hey, good to see you man” the guy said as he pulled Jungkook in for a half hearted side hug. “Who’s your friend?” The guy shifted his focus to Yoongi.

“This is my friend Yoongi,” Jungkook introduced. “He’s new in town. Hope it’s okay I brought him”

“As long as he doesn’t break anything” Taehyung said, a little tense and probably referring to some of the other party attendees. It seemed like Taehyung stock out of norm and didn’t enjoy a lot of other people in a small space.

“Don’t worry. Yoongi is cool” Jungkook answered for Yoongi.

“Well, drinks are in the kitchen. HEY!! What are you? A caveman?” Some guy had now caught Taehyung’s attention. “Use a fucking coaster!”

“Guess you have your hands full,” Jungkook laughed.

“You have no idea,” Taehyung sighed “I’m literally going to kill Jimin after I teach this guy some etiquette” and just like that Taehyung was back in the midst of people slowly disappearing “Come on guys! The table is antique”

[21:43]

Yoongi was sitting alone on the couch next to a couple that were too invested in each other to even notice he was there, while Jungkook had gone to the kitchen to get them something to drink. Yoongi thought his seat on the couch was a good spot for observing the humans and maybe even spot one he himself could kiss, but he found it hard to concentrate due to the couple making out, which kept catching his eye. Maybe this was actually a good opportunity for him to learn about the way humans do kissing. The male was seated on the couch while the female was on his lap with her hands around his neck. The male’s hands were all over her, one minute they were in her hair, the next on her bare thighs or waist. The way the couple kissed was a lot different from the way the TV couples Yoongi had watched as reference did. The couch couple were much more engaged and almost animalistic in their movements and sounds. Yoongi had thought that the kisses he had seen portrayed in dramas were probably pretty accurate, but now he wasn’t too sure. He decided that the couch couple next to him was probably a better representation since they were not actors in a role. The both of them did seem to be very skillful.

“Hey creep!” Jungkook shouted as he returned with a drink in each hand. “Don’t drool on the carpet”

“I wasn’t” Yoogi corrected him as he received one of the drinks from him.

“Then stop perverting on them”

“I was just observing them,” Yoongi told him.

“Is what a pervert would say,” Jungkook joked.

[22:00]

“What about her?” Jungkook pointed at the crowd filled with dancing bodies. “She’s hot”

“I don’t think she’s what I’m looking for” Yoongi dismissed Jungkook’s suggestion.

“Are you for real?” Jungkook exclaimed. “Just look at her,” Yoongi took a closer look at the woman Jungkook was talking about. “She is definitely feeling it.” The woman in question was dancing closely with another guy to the rhythm of the song and seemingly enjoying the way all eyes were on her.

And Yoongi too caught himself staring at her for a bit longer than he did the other humans around him. Could she maybe be the one to make him feel?

“And then he left me!” A loud female voice sobbed from across the room and managed to steal Yoongi’s gaze away from the woman dancing.

Even to Yoongi it was clear that the woman crying was extremely upset and therefore also extremely emotional, Yoongi thought.

“I have to go after him” she cried out to her friend who was trying to console her. She was headed towards the door, and Yoongi couldn’t let an opportunity like this slip through his finger, so without much thought he ran through the crowd determined not to lose sight of the crying girl. This resulted in him taking a few hits as he made his way through the sea of people, but because he was so focused on reaching the girl in time, he didn’t notice who he bummed into.

[22:40]

“Do you think she could have gone home?”

“I think that’s very likely,” Jungkook said. “We’ll probably have much better odds at finding another girl crying her eyes out in Tae’s bath room, besides it’s fucking freezing out here”

“You go in,” The older said. “I’m just gonna take a few more rounds around the block”

“Suit yourself, pal,” Jungkook gave Yoongi a pad on his shoulder before he began running towards the building entrance.

Yoongi then began walking again, looking at every bypasser to see if it was the one that he was looking for. He eventually made his way to a convenience store where a young couple were standing closely up against one another.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” the guy said. “I’ll never do it again”

“You promise?” the girl said with teary eyes.

“Yes, I promise” The two of them now began kissing as well, and this time it looked exactly like in the k-dramas. Once again Yoongi was left not knowing how this act between two people was supposed to be performed, but he knew that the girl had stopped crying and it would therefore no longer make sense for him to also lock lips with her.

Yoongi began heading back to the building where the party was, hobing it wasn’t too late for him to find a human to kiss. He was about to cross the road when he noticed a woman walking in his direction. It looked like she was coming right at him, and the closer she got to him, the more apparent the look in her eyes became, a look Yoongi had never seen displayed on any human before.

[17:05]

“Y/N!” The sudden knock on the bathroom door almost caused you to slip in the shower stall out of surprise. You had gone straight to Teahuyng’s apartment after class in order to help him get ready for the night, on the condition that you could shower at his place. “I need you to go to the store with Jimin.” Taehyung's voice came from the other side of the door. You turned off the water which you immediately regretted now that your body was missing the warm embrace it was providing.

“Jimin is a big boy. Why do I need to go with him?” You complained, wishing desperately that you could stay in the shower until you had used all of Taehyung’s hot water.

“Because we both know that this big boy will end up only buying booze and forget all the practical stuff,” Taehyung argued. “Oh and you have the best taste in snacks”

“Aghh fine,” you sighed in defeat. “Just give me 10 minutes and I’ll be out, okay”

[17:26]

Even though you had borrowed Taehyung’s sweats for your quick trip to the store, you still found yourself clinging to Jimin’s left arm in hopes of stealing some of his warmth.

“Why are you only clingy when you gain something from it?” Jimin said with annoyance as you still hung off of him as you entered the store.

“Survival of the fittest, baby” you sent him a teasing smile, which he returned with an eye roll and an attempt to push you off, but you were stubborn and stronger than you looked, and if Jimin didn’t wanted to cause a scene right in the middle of the supermarket, he would have to let you stay right where you were.

As expected Jimin steered the two of you in the direction off the alcohol aisle first thing. You didn’t have much say in which and the amount of bottles Jimin so carefully picked out from the shelves with his free hand.

“This should do it,” Jimin finally said proudly after almost 15 minutes of picking and choosing.

“You do know that Tae only agreed to a small gathering, right?” You asked your friend in disbelief.

“Yes, but what’s the fun in that?” he said with a mischievous grin growing on his face.

“He is going to kill you” you tried to warn him, but Jimin seemed to care more about making this night one to remember (or rather forget) than his potential murder.

You knew there was no point in trying to talk some sense into Jimin so you just shrugged your shoulders and said “Whatever. It’s your funeral”

Once you made your way to the snack aisle of the store, it was now your turn to be in charge of what needed to be selected, which by the way was just as important as the liquor. You knew that the difference between a good party and a great party was the snacks, no doubt about it, so you always took your time when deciding which ones would be the perfect choice for the maybe not so small celebration of Taehyung. Chips was always a safe choice, everyone likes them and they won't leave you full but they’ll still be satisfying nonetheless. Now what flavours to choose? You knew it was always a good idea to have something with a lot of salt, so the sea salt flavoured ones would be the smart choice to go with, but personally you found them so boring. Popcorn was a much better option for a salty snack.

“Jimin, can you grab the popcorn for me?” Jimin did as you commanded and threw the box into the already filled shopping cart. Okay, back to choosing chips flavours. Your personal favourite was sour cream & onion, though controversial, but you had to admit it was hard to find a good dip to go with it. Maybe you should just stick to the classic that was cheetos.

“What do you think? Sour cream & onion or cheetos?” You asked for guidance.

“Uhm Y/N…”

“You’re right. We should just take boht” you said and grabbed the two bags of chips with your left hand from the lower shelf.

“What? No that’s not it” Jimin stammered hesitantly. When you looked up and in the direction of Jimin’s gaze, you understood why. On their way into the aisle, was your fuck buddy, or ex fuck buddy, with his other fuck buddy turned girlfriend holding his hand. You immediately made eye contact with Johnny and suddenly became super aware of the way you were still clinging to Jimin’s side. You tried to distance yourself from him, but it was now Jimin’s turn to not let go of you.

“Hey guys” Jisoo said in a cheerful tone as she and Johnny made their way over to you and Jimin. “Wow That’s some party you’re throwing” she giggled as she noticed the interior of your shopping cart.

“Oh yeah” you said “Taehyung got an internship so we’re celebrating. You should come”

“No we wouldn’t want to tag along” Johnny said for the first time.

“It’s fine, you wouldn’t. Right Jimin?” you looked to your friend for back up.

“Uhm sure,” he said “The more, the merrier”

“Okay, see you there then” Johnny sent you one last awkward smile before he and Jisoo went back to their own shopping.

[17:45]

“Now why would you invite them?” Jimin asked in all seriousness once you left the store.

“Why wouldn’t I?” you asked, trying to sound surprised by his question. “Johnny and Jisoo are cool, and I’m sure you’ve already invited a dosin of people”

“Yeah but they’re not my ex”

“Johnny is not my ex, though” you corrected him.

“You know what I mean,” Jimin said annoyed.

“So if you and I stop messing around, would you want me to not invite you to parties anymore?” you said teasingly.

“Shut up. You would miss me to much”

“In the bedroom or at the parties” you questioned him with a growing grin on your face.

“Both” he said confidently, and rightfully so. “But don’t you think it will be awkward?”

“It’s only awkward if we make it awkward” you told yourself.

“And you’re not the slightest bit jealous?”

“I’ve told you I’m not”

“You’re a fucking ice queen, you know that?” Jimin laughed at your seemingly lack of any human emotions.

“It’s one of my biggest virtues” you smiled at him.

“Except this ice queen is very bothered by the cold,” he joked before pulling you into his space again making sure you were warm.

[19:13]

“Is that what you’re wearing?” It slipped out of Taehyung when you stepped out of the bathroom where you had gotten ready. You looked down at the outfit you had brought with you from home and didn’t see why Taehyung would question it.

“Yeah, why? Anything wrong with it?” You asked.

“No, nothing wrong with it. It’s just a lot,” he clarified. “Or less, I guess” he grinned. You suppose he was right, but you had worn similar outfits in the past. The short skirt, showing of your legs and the skin tight top hugging your curves was nothing new.

“Yeah I know” you said “It’s kinda the whole point”

“Gonna show Johnny exactly what he’s missing” Jimin chimed in. Jimin wasn’t entirely wrong, but you were never going to admit that and it wasn’t like you had planned to run into him at the grocery store.

“No,” you said firmly “I picked this outfit out way before I knew Johnny was gonna be here”

“Johnny’s coming?” Taehyung asked with both a confused and concerned look on his face.

“And Jisoo,” Jimin said.

“Seriously!?” Taehyung whined “I told you guys not to invite friends”

“Whatever grandpa,” Jimin dismissed Taehyung’s words. “So tell me Y/N, if you’re not planning on making Johnny boy jealous, why the outfit then?”

“I always wear things like this” you tried to defend yourself.

“Yes, but not in the middle of winter, you don’t” Namjoon’s rational self joined the conversation that was unfolding. You were taken aback by Namjoon’s sharp optivational skills and searched your brain for a clever comeback or a perfectly rational reason for your decision to wear the revealing outfit, but nothing came to mind.

“I-l” you stammered “I don’t have to tell you anything” you said in defeat, knowing all too well that your friends would never let it go until you in fact told them.

“Let me guess then,” Jimin said with a devil-like expression on his face. “You plan to find Johnny’s replacement tonight” Fuck, you didn’t even realized that was what you were doing when you picked out what to wear. Why did Jimin have to know you better than you knew yourself at times?

Jimin took your silence as a sign that he had been right on the money. “Am I not enough for you?” he said, faux offended. “I’m hurt”

“Will you just shut up!” you exclaimed at his annoying teasing.

[21:26]

Hobi was a saint, that much you knew, and he had made it his life mission to make sure that you were okay, and tonight that meant never leaving your glass empty, especially everytime you would run into Johnny and Jisoo. Hobi would try to steer you in the opposite direction saying either you or he needed a refill. You appreciated your friend’s efforts to spare your feelings, but it really wasn’t necessary, you were fine. You had no reason to be anything but. You didn’t want what Johnny and Jisoo had, and you knew you could never give that to Johnny, so it was a good thing that they had found each other, you truly believed that. You tried to explain this to Hobi, but he still looked at you with pity in his eyes.

“Seriously Hobi, I’m fine” you reassured him “The only thing a feel is sorry for the poor guy trapped next to them on the couch as they make out” you sent Hobi the biggest smile you could plaster on your face to really convince him that everything was just fine. Hobi seemed to finally buy your words as he grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you to the living room that had become the unofficial dance floor. The amount of people in Taehyung’s small apartment made it difficult to fully unfold on the dancefloor, so you and Hobi opted for a more grinding close up at each other kind of dance.

This was nice, you had fun and was drunk off your ass, something you probably wouldn’t be able to do if you were in Jisoo’s position. You wondered if Jisoo would get jealous if she caught Johnny looking at you like this. You glanced over, and, wow, they were still going at it on the coach. Did they even care that there were others around them? Probably not. That was how it was to be in love. For a second you couldn’t help but think that it could have been you on Johnny’s lap if you had let him get close to you, blissfully unaware of your surroundings. It looked nice though, but no, that was not what you wanted. You liked your freedom and you liked simple, and one thing you knew was that once you gave that part of yourself, things stopped being simple. You liked how things were, and maybe you just needed someone new to remind you of that. That guy in the corner had been staring at you for a while now, not that you could blame him. You tried sneaking in a few glances at him to see if he was your type without being too obvious about it. You couldn’t get a proper look at him, but it didn’t really matter since he had this weird energy around him, which told you everything you needed to know about him.

“What are you doing?” Hobi had noticed the way your dancing now seemed a lot more calculated from only moments prior.

“7 o’clock” you whispered to him.

“What are you talking about?” Hobi asked over the music.

“The guy in the corn…” Wait where did he go? You looked around, your eyes searching through the room when your eyes landed on a moving silhouette who was charting towards you. Oh shit, he had finally gathered his courage and decided to come talk to you. “Okay stay calm,” you told yourself “you’re the ice queen, remember”. You straightened your back and pushed your chest slightly forward ready to show this guy exactly who he was up against.

“Hi, I-“ you were cut off before you could even get to the verb of your planned sentence. The guy had just walked straight past you, and bumping into your shoulder in the process. The fuck! Who did he think he was? Even if you had completely misinterpreted his intentions, the least he could do was apologize for the shoulder injury he had coursed in the collision.

“Man down. I repeat, man down” Jimin was dying of laughter because of the scene that had just unfolded in Taehyung’s living room. Seriously, why did Jimin’s annoying ass had to see you fail so miserably. You knew he would never let this go.

[22:56]

Upon your failure and the intense dancing session with Hoseok, you had lost most of your energy, and your feet and legs felt heavy. It seemed like Johnny and Jisoo had decided to move their make out session to somewhere more private since the couch was now all abbonned, and you saw a unique opportunity to get to sit down.

Like a sack of potatoes you fell into the soft cushions followed by Hobi, and for a brief moment you closed your eyes and leant back, but the moment soon passed as you could feel a pair of concerned eyes on your face. You forced your eyes to open again, and they of course were met with Hoseok’s.

“Are you okay?” he asked for the hundredth time that night.

“Yes, I just need to relax for a bit” you told him truthfully.

A cheeky smile appeared on your friend’s face “I might actually be able to help you with that” You looked at him with confusion painted on your face “Uhm okay that sounds kinda sketchy” Hoseok didn’t seemed to mind your weariness as he began to search the insides of his pockets.

“Tada!!” he cheered excitedly as he held out a neatly rolled blunt in front of your face. “This should do the trick”.

You didn’t normally smoke and the couple of times you had, it had been with Hobi. Both times you had been a giggling mess, which now that you thought about it wouldn’t be too bad. You could also need the relaxed and warm feeling you had experienced the other times you had gotten high.

“Fuck it,” You finally said. “You got a lighter?” But as Hobi fumbled after one, a dark looming figure appeared behind you.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Shit! You jumped in your seat and nearly kicked over the bottles that were placed on the small coffee table.

“Uhm… N-nothing” you managed to stutter even though the evidence of what you were planning was still on full display in the palm of Hoseok’s hand.

“For fuck sake!” Taehyung exclaimed. “Do you want me to lose my depositum?”

“No,” Hoseok chimed in. “But don’t be such a party pooper. She needs this” The death glare Taehyung sent Hobi shut him up immediately.

“I’m so fucking stressed” he whined “But please just go outside” he almost pleaded. You would have felt sorry for him, but then you remembered he had made you go to the store with wet hair, something that was still causing you to shiver.

“But Tete it’s freezing outside” You tried to convince him, but there was no use in trying as he coldly responded with a “Not my problem.” And that was how you found yourself outside on the sidewalk in your miniskirt in the middle of winter trying to get high. Your hands were shaking as you tried to guide the blunt to your lips, which made it way more difficult than it needed to be. This made Hobi, who had just passed it to you, laugh uncontrollably. You found yourself starting to laugh along with him since it kinda dawned on you how ridiculous this whole situation was and how much of a fool you had made of yourself in the span of this night.

“What are you two maniacs laughing at?” Jimin and Namjoon had gone outside as well to get some fresh air, Jimin with some drunk girl under his arm and Namjoon with his red solo cup in hand.

“Y/N she’s,” Hobi said between giggles. “She’s fucking saking”

“Facts!” You yelled.

“You really should have worn something else” Mr. Know-it-all-Namjoon said.

“I know, I know, I’m a dumbass” you admitted.

“Yes you fucking are,” Jimin said “Want to borrow my jacket?” You looked him up and down before making eye contact.

“Won’t your friend be cold?” You referred to the girl haning to his side.

“Mhm…” He looked down at the girl. “You cold, baby girl?”

“No, daddy” she said with a sweet voice, and you couldn’t help but blur out a “Ew” upon hearing her nickname for Jimin.

“Someone’s in a bad mood,” Jimin teased. “And I bet it’s not entirely because of the cold” You knew he was referring to your brutal rejection in the living room.

“Listen the guy was in a hurry, okay,” you began to defend yourself. “If he wasn’t, he would have been all over me”

“You sure about that?” Hoseok annoyingly joined the conversation.

“Yes, not that it matters anyways. He was fucking rude. Lucky he got away before I could give him a piece of my mind.” You said seriously.

“Guess it’s your lucky day, then” Namjoon said and pointed to somewhere across the streets, and everybody’s heads turned to see what he had meant by his statement. You squeezed your eyes trying to see more clearly who it was standing alone on the other side of the street across from you. Something about the unidentified silhouette somehow drew you in, like a special energy. Wait a minute, it was him! The guy from earlier. Seriously, what were the changes?

“Now’s your chance,” Jimin dared you. Why did he have to know exactly how to get under your skin. You couldn’t stand to lose face once more that evening, so before you knew it you were crossing the street. And to be honest you were ready to go tell this guy exactly who he had been oh so rude to. On your way over you were gearing yourself up and practically fuming when you finally reached your destination, but that all disappeared once you found yourself standing face to face with the stranger and all the things you had planned to say in your head was completely gone the second the stranger had captured you with his gaze. He didn’t say or do anything, just looked at you, awaiting your first move.

“I-I uhm.. You” you stuttered trying to go somewhere with your words, but the man in front of you didn’t let you.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked abruptly which caught you off guard.

“What?” Were you hearing this correctly or were you just hearing what you wanted to hear.

“Is it okay if I kiss you?” he asked nonchalantly. Was he really being serious, or was he just being a jerk like earlier? Your better judgement told you it was the latter, but you still found your body leaning in closer and closer to the man.

“Okay” you agreed mindlessly as you closed the gap between the two if you as he placed his hand on your cheek and began to move his lips gently over yours. As he did so, you were passively taking everything in, enjoying being kissed on the sidewalk on a winter's night by a stranger who seemed to know exactly how to use his lips. You rested your own hands on his slim waist, slightly tugging at his jacket, while you began to reciprocate his kiss. He tasted so deliciously, it made your head spin, and before you knew it you were eagerly kissing him back with everything you got. His lips parted ever so slightly and you felt both greedy and bold, and seized the opportunity to sneak your tongue passed his lips. He followed your lead perfectly as both of your tongues entangled themselves with one another. The contact with his tongue send a shiver down your spine nonetheless, but weirdly enough ever since you had entered his space, you had stopped shivering from the cold, a first for the night, and now the only thing that made you shiver was the warm bubbly feeling you felt inside every time his tongue would grace yours, making you muffle soft moans against his mouth. His kiss was intoxicating and addictive, and you just couldn’t get enough of it, and to your surprise, you were so desperate for more, but somehow you didn’t care to try and hide the fact. For some reason he had this power over him that made you lose all senses and better judgement.

The kiss was getting sloppier now as you found it hard to control yourself with him, but when he put his hand on your hip, you almost lost it completely as your skin was practically burning under his touch. Who was this guy, seriously? And why did he have the ability to get you this rilled up merely from just kissing? You didn’t care enough to break from his lips to ask, you just drank in every last bit of him, dreading the moment you would have to let go of him. He must be some kind of god of kissing to have you feel this way, since kissing was normally your least favourite part. It was more times than not just something to get out of the way before moving on to something more daring. This was so unlike you.

In a perfect world you wouldn’t have to let go of him, but you had to break from his lips to catch your breath, and as you pulled away from each other a string of saliva was still connecting you. Neither of you said anything, and Yoongi was looking at you like he was trying to solve a code. All of a sudden you felt shy under his intense stare as if you hadn’t just sucked his face.

Yoongi was the first one to break the silence. “Nothing,” he blurted out.

“I’m sorry, what?” you asked.

“I felt nothing,” he sounded disappointed. ”Just now”. And just like that you were back to being cold.

You opened your mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out, and much to your surprise he stripped himself of his jacket and placed it over your shoulders. “Here, this is better” he said matter of factly before he turned on his heel and started walking away without another word, leaving you dumbfounded. You would probably have stood like that until the sun came up if you hadn’t been pulled back to reality by the sound of your long forgotten friend’s laughter from across the street. This was really a miserable ending to a just as miserable evening.

Taglist:

@strawberriewithchocolate-blog @salad-bar-but-with-more-options @sugaaddiction @min-yus @tonightletspretend @preciouschimine @ggukkieland @peterparkerspjsuit @simpinforyoongi @loveyoongles @kevinssecretplace4546

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uvena · 3 years ago

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hey jo! just curious cause im sick rn and i need some kind of .. tender entertainment HH and i thing ur Love (capitalized) for star wars is super endearing and and 🥺 i want a bit of that - so what is it about it? i mean.. the only lore i know is from the movies and the mando series, which isn't much with how big it seems to be judging by fan content. so idk but pls Do go off and talk about it just pitch sell it to me let me in let me iiiinnn

hey laura !!! i hope you feel better soon & thank you so much !!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ i will happily do my best to fill you in 💞 this is probably going to get very very long btw

ok, so the basic premise of the original trilogy (episode vi: a new hope, episode v: the empire strikes back, episode vi: return of the jedi) is the galaxy is under the rule of the evil galactic empire and its only opposition is a group of freedom fighters called the rebel alliance. a farm boy, luke skywalker, who is revealed to be a jedi, a person capable of using the force and wielding a lightsaber, becomes a jedi knight in his quest to aid the rebellion in defeating the empire once in for all. as the series progresses it's revealed that luke's father is actually the emperor's apprentice, formerly known as anakin skywalker, a fallen jedi and sith. by the end of the trilogy, luke is a fully fledged jedi knight and fights his father, and darth vader redeems himself by killing the emperor after watching the emperor try to kill his son. luke tries to save him but darth vader dies of his wounds. there's a whole bunch of other things that happen & way more characters but those are the very bare bones of the ot.

the prequel trilogy started in the 90's and ended in the 00s (episode i: the phantom menace, episode ii: attack of the clones, episode iii: revenge of the sith) and centers around luke's father, anakin, and how he went from being a jedi knight to a sith lord. it expands the universe further and also shows what the galaxy was like prior to the events of ANH. again, there's a lot more to it than that, which includes the jedi at their height, anakin's secret wife padme amidala, and way way more, but those are the bare bones.

there is a ton of media outside the main 6 films. (i'm not counting the sequel trilogy, episodes vii-ix. i don't like what they did, they sucked, and i haven't see ep ix and i will probably never. they had potential and they ruined it. so i will not be acknowledging or talking about those aside from the fact that finn deserved his own trilogy and jedi journey <3) there are shows, cartoons, novels, comics, video games. not to mention the masses of fanmade content. ever since disney acquired the rights to star wars, most of that media was relegated to "legends" (most of which is referred to as the EU, or extended universe), which means that they're still acknowledged as star wars stories but considered "old canon.

i know that's a ton of media and that's a lot of content and lore to sift through and it might seem overwhelming but like... i think that's one of the appeals for me, personally. there's so much content, so much to explore, so much more than just space wizards and stuff. there's so many stories, so many people, so many different worlds to read about and explore that like... the possibilities are essentially limitless. there's no "one area" that everyone sticks to in star wars lore, aside from general knowledge of the main movies (episodes i-ix). some people like the old republic era, which takes place thousands of years before the events of the ot. some people really love the prequels, which take place 20-30 yeras prior to the events of the ot. there are people who really like the civil war era, and people who like after. and there are people who love all of them or none of them or only stick to niche things like a certain planet or group etc etc. there's so much to choose from to love or hate or interact with. especially because there's so many aspects to every piece of media that can be talked about and explored. there's always something else to find. there's humans, jedi, sith, aliens, droids, planets, politics, plots, spaceships, bounty hunters... sky's the limit.

i think a big part of it for me is that i grew up with it. i understand there are people who get into it when they're kids or adults and they're not into it, and i'm not going to pretend that it's the end-all be-all for space fantasy media. but growing up, it was so fun. it was so full of imagination and possibility and it never got old for me. i loved the prequels dearly. because i grew up with it im familiar with the material and ive always known people who like similar things about it and view it the same way so even as ive gotten older i never really *grew out of it*. i thought i did, i thought i loss interest, but i came back once the mandalorian began to air and have been active ever since.

the thing that's kept me active, that's gotten me involved, that i still have love for and enjoy, is the people interact with because of it. i met my best friend euie @ligaw because of it. i've made friends & mutuals as an adult because of it (not limited to but including @rogueninja @kasseivor @sarma @coredrive). i'm mutuals with people who also enjoy it and talk about it with me (including but not limited to stina-adrien @gayluke and y @goldennavenue.) and i'm mutuals with people who've made original characters from it, like nina @dilfbailorgana and h @edeemir, who have in turn inspired me to create characters & have caused me to begin creating original characters again as well. my friends and i create from it, complain about it, trash it, and love it. it makes it worth it, i think. my favorite part of tumblr + one of my longtime favorite pieces of media = a whole mess but there's a lot to love and laugh at.

that being said... not only is there a mass of content to get into, there are many issues within both the media itself as well as those who participate in it, both the fans and the creators that predate the disney-ifcation of the franchise. i know *every* media and fandom has its issues, from bad to worse, but it would be remiss, to say the least, if i didn't mention it beforehand. there are both past and ongoing issues of racism, whitewashing, islamophobia, antisemitism, etc. it's present in the media and also present in the fandom, which is something i think anyone who's thinking about getting into star wars should know about.

so like... there it is. it's not perfect by any means, there are many issues both in fandom and in the media, but i still think there's so much to love, it CAN improve and it SHOULD improve and i love it enough to want to see that happen, + the fact that i get to share the good and the bad with cool people makes still caring about star wars worth it ❤️

#inbox #i namedropped some ppl im sorry if u did or didnt want 2 be namedropped i have no idea who's ok w being @'d <3 #but like yeah tl;dr star wars is not the greatest and there are for sure problems but it still means a lot to me #i still got love for it and my friends and mutuals make it worth it ! <3

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rpgsandbox · 4 years ago

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Dearest Balin,

Almost six years have passed already since the last time you were here. I remember very well everything you and Gandalf said when we met. You were alarmed, and I took your warnings at heart, but I don’t think you would find it surprising to know that news of a nameless threat is hard to believe here in the dear old Shire. Gandalf came to see me again, on several occasions. He seems to care about our friendship, and he says I should indeed be worried, but his vague words of warning hardly make even less of a dent in the general sense of peace and protection that we enjoy here, away in the north-west.

But don’t think that I am completely clueless! All I need to know is to have a look at… the stuff I collected in my adventures to remember that there is a wide and dangerous world out there. Sometimes I even miss it, the road, the thrill, the narrow escapes. It’s my Tookish side. But then I look at my beautiful garden, my snapdragons and sunflowers, my trailing nasturtians… how they glow, red and golden, more beautiful than any Dragon-hoard that ever was, and I am back to being a Baggins.

I hope that what I say won’t be too much of a disappointment to you. You haven’t asked yet, but I know that you mean to invite me to join you in that Moria adventure you are always talking about. I am afraid that I have spent enough time crawling in the dark under the Misty Mountains not to wish to do that ever again! But there’s a good bunch of eager lads and lasses here that you might find to your liking. Why, they are just waiting for no more than a nod in their direction from me or from our Grey friend to go off into the blue for mad adventures! Theirs is an age that is more appropriate to that type of business, believe me, and I have taught them a thing or two. I suspect that Gandalf has too...

From a letter from Bilbo Baggins, Esq. to Balin son of Fundin

“This is the Master-ring, the One Ring to rule them all.”

The One Ring™ is a roleplaying game based on The Hobbit™ and The Lord of the Rings™, two extraordinary works of fiction by the beloved author and respected academic, John Ronald Reuel Tolkien, published in partnership with Sophisticated Games.

First released in 2011, its award-winning design was hailed as the best attempt at bringing Middle-earth to the gaming table to date, thanks to its thematic rules and painstaking attention to detail. For 10 years, players of the game have traveled far and wide across Middle-earth, adventuring for multiple decades of game time.

Today, it is time for the game to enter a new era – this new edition of The One Ring brings players further into the Twilight of the Third Age with a new hardbound volume, presenting:

A set of updated and streamlined rules, developed thanks to years of players’ feedback and raising the game to the standards of quality that have made Free League so popular.

A new setting to experience – the Lone-lands of Eriador in the year is 2965 of the Third Age. This is a vast land that once saw the glory of the North Kingdom of the Dúnedain.

A complete visual redesign of art and graphics, offering a view of Middle-earth that is fresh and familiar at the same time.

Sample Spreads (Work in Progress)

“The Enemy still lacks one thing to give him strength and knowledge to beat down all resistance, break the last defences, and cover all the lands in a second darkness. He lacks the One Ring.”

The One Ring is set in the Twilight of the Third Age, a time-frame comprising the events narrated in The Hobbit™ and the start of The Lord of the Rings™. Encompassing more than six decades, this period is ushered in when Bilbo the Hobbit finds the Ruling Ring, and culminates with the war fought by the Free Peoples against the Dark Lord Sauron, and the destruction of the Ring.

The year is 2965 of the Third Age, and the players create a Company of heroes, Hobbits, Dwarves, Elves and Men seeking adventure in the Lone-lands of Eriador. It is a desolate country, a vast land that once saw the glory of the North Kingdom of the Dúnedain, the Men of the West. Here, many wars were fought, and countless ruins dot its landscape. Shadows move along its paths, and not all of them belong to the living. It is here that the One Ring lies, a seed of the past that will one day lead the world to open war against the returning Shadow.

This edition of The One Ring moves the focus of the game to the lands of Old Arnor, with a full description of the town of Bree and the surrounding areas, including famous locales like Weathertop, Fornost and Annuminas, providing the players with a new starting point for their adventures.

The Enemy is moving, and smoke issues once more from Mount Doom, in the land of Mordor...

“… you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.”

In The One Ring, players create individuals who led an ordinary life until something made them realize that they were simply pretending that shadows weren’t growing nearer and nearer every year. They are not soldiers or mercenaries, nor are they subtle Wizards trying to weave the threads spun by fate: they are adventurous souls representing the various Free Peoples opposing the return of the Shadow.

The core gameplay of The One Ring revolves around two alternate phases — the Adventuring Phase and the Fellowship Phase. This structure follows the deeds of the players not only geographically, as they explore the land in pursuit of their goals, but also chronologically, as time passes and the Twilight of the Third Age enfolds.

The game mechanics have been created from the ground up to match the source material and emulate the action as depicted in The Lord of the Rings™ and The Hobbit™. They feature a set of custom dice, but the game can also be played using a standard set including a 12-sided die and at least six 6-sided dice. The accessibility and elegance of the system fits in perfectly with other games by Free League.

This new edition of the game further reinforces the connection between its mechanics and the stories that inspired them. The rules for things like hero creation or the use of Hope have been tweaked to make the game run smoothly without sacrificing their faithfulness to the sources, while those for Journeys and Councils, for example, have been completely redesigned. New rules, like those for Magical die results, have been added to evoke elements that are vital to the theme of the game, like the subtle magic of Middle-earth.

The new edition will be compatible with modules for the first edition, requiring only minor tweaking.

Created for the first time for this edition of the game, the Starter Set contains everything you need to start playing, and more! Focused on the Shire, this set allows for new players to enter the world of Middle-earth from the land of the Hobbits, where all the stories began. A number of pre-generated characters allow players to take the road to adventure in no time. The boxed set, mainly written by seasoned RPG writer James Spahn, includes:

Condensed rules, including everything you need to start playing in Middle-earth.

An adventure compendium, presenting a number of adventures to be played using the pre-generated characters contained in the box.

Pre-generated characters of esteemed Hobbits like Drogo Baggins, Paladin Took, Primula Brandybuck or Lobelia Baggins, and more.

The One Ring Starter Set – Contents Added as Stretch Goals are Unlocked

We know that many of you have been enjoying roleplaying in Middle-earth using the fifth edition ruleset in the Adventures in Middle-Earth. We are working on a new edition for the 5E rules as well – but it is not part of this Kickstarter. More information about this will follow in the months to come.

Kickstarter campaign ends: Thu, March 4 2021 8:00 PM UTC +00:00

Website: [Free League Publishing] [facebook] [twitter] [instagram]

#RPG #kickstarter #The One Ring #Free League Publishing #Lord of the Rings #LOTR #Middle Earth #JRR Tolkien

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thattimdrakeguy · 4 years ago

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Hey, Steph broke up with Tim because he was mentally ill after being locked in that interdimensional prison?? If you have the panels available, could you please share them? I'd look it up but I wouldn't even know how to begin looking for that

Yeah, it was during Tynion’s Detective Comics run, during the Rebirth era of DC Comics. Where instead of accurate characterization, and situations that brought us back to a much better era for the Bat-Family, namely, the nineties era of the Bat-Family. He instead decided to use some shallow fan service, and get their characterization completely wrong.

Tim Drake, became a mature, ultra-talented, brainiac, hacker and engineer, that came across like a freaking cult leader sometimes, and that may have been on purpose. That also says stuff like this, like he’s a freaking alien.

His writing was freaking horrendous during this run. Tynion is supposed to be some Tim Drake super fan, but yet he doesn’t seem to have the ability to write Tim’s personality.

Steph was mostly just a bubbly stereotypical teenage girl, that acted more or less as Tim’s cheerleader/motivator, that also grows dangerously overemotional when Tim is presumed dead, which just seems to go away when Tim’s back? Like her characterization is awful, like that is not who Steph is supposed to be, it’s quite the opposite really. But Steph portrays the Bat-Family by saying “BATMAN IS THE REAL PROBLEM” after Tim dies, which makes no sense and doesn’t add up, because you know, there’s the obvious note of how more people would be harmed if Bruce wasn’t Batman, but what ever. Tynion isn’t here for good stories that are actually deep, he’s here for melodrama that seems deep at the time. Steph just comes back to the Belfry (the team’s base) after that like nothing.

But for context, Geoff Johns told Tynion to “kill” Tim. Which Tynion didn’t do, but Geoff Johns was chief creative officer at the time (or some similar position), meaning he was basically his boss, so he did it anyway, and so he was sent off to Jor-El’s secret interdimensional prison thing.

For comic readers, besides flashbacks and cameos showing where he was, Tim wasn’t in comics for a whole year. But since it’s comics, that means just a few months if even. But he was presumed dead as mentioned earlier. Then he comes back in one of the most over-blown pieces of officially published fan fictions, where you can see Tynion is the kind of fan that’s just out to make their fav seem the coolest ever, rather than just writing how they are, half way like they’re embarrassed of how their fav actually is.

But when Tim came back, he was obsessed with this idea for a “Utopia”, which evidently he already had before he went to prison. Which they present and I think subliminally compare to an actual cult leader.

Which, what the heck, why did Tynion do that? I have no idea. It was really weird. Cult leaders aren’t cool. It’s even weirder when Tynion more or less confessed from self-inserting on Tim, and saying that “Tim would react just me” when it came to his controlling, obsessive behavior over Gotham. Meaning, more or less he just compared himself to a cult leader. Which again, is very very strange.

But Tim would barely sleep, as seen in the panel above, he would only focus on this one thing, even getting into contact with ex-villains to hopefully get somewhere further. Somewhere, that Tim was literally shown previously, would lead him into being a fascist dictator in one of the dark feature timelines that some super heroes have (like Danny Phantom. Except Tynion took this one way too serious to the point where it just made present day Tim look mad, instead of a really cool story about how every decision matters).

Also, Steph kept filming her and Tim while unmasked, yet still in costume. And got close to the previously mentioned cult leader (an actual one, not Tim or Tynion), and some how the footage got leaked, at least to Batman. I don’t remember what the story is there. I’m not going to leak back. But basically, Tim tried to investigate on that. Where Steph got upset at him, breaking up with Tim Drake.

And Tim would instantly go to banging his head against a wall for a second.

and the next issue not cooling off the flames.

If you didn’t know Tynion used to be a fan fic writer in the 00s before he worked for DC Comics, this is where that might become exponentially obvious during all of this.

It is insanely melodramatic to an unreasonable degree. Everyone’s just a jerk, and doesn’t act like a real person. It isn’t grounded at all, and makes everyone just seem like obnoxious people.

But, despite this, Steph and Tim get back together in one of the last issues of Tynion’s run, BECAUSE-- WELL, just because Tynion wanted them too essentially.

So even during Rebirth, they aren’t exactly a healthy couple.

It is ridiculous.

If you want to start reading the story from Tim’s return onwards. Look up the issues to the story “Lonely Place of Living”, which is supposed to be a spiritual sequel to Tim’s origin story “Lonely Place of Dying”, except it’s not.

The story is closer to a fan fiction. Tim’s original origin comes back, which doesn’t make a lot of sense, because it’s heavily implied in one of the first issues of Tynion’s run that his original origin back, along with how New 52 Tim, and up to that point Rebirth Tim, was not the same person as the original Pre-New 52 Tim, as per his origin revealing he’s actually a witness protection kid that took up the name Tim Drake, in a similar vein to how New 52 Bart wasn’t Pre-New 52 Bart, but instead Bar Torr, someone who is not related to Barry Allen, but yet got the name Bart Allen anyway.

Comics are very very strange sometimes, and not always for the funner.

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esoanem · 4 years ago

Text

“There’s always doubt, Billy. No sane man would deny that. No good captain would acknowledge it“

Major Content Notes:

Blood & Gore: shrapnel injuries and missing limbs caused by a ship taking a broadside head on are shown. A man is shot in the head with blood splatter but no wound shown. A man’s neck is bitten through causing arterial bleeding, the wound is shown. A slave is forced to act as a suicide bomber, he falls on the bomb causing a bloody explosion

Physical Abuse of Genitals: a woman is douched by another woman using a metal syringe. She is very rough and clearly causes significant pain

Slavery: a cargo hold full of slaves is shown. A slave is shot in the head at point-blank range (no wound or blood is shown), another is threatened, and a third is forced to act as a suicide bomber

Wikipedia Synopsis:

Flint and his crew of the Walrus play a deadly game of naval warfare when they engage Captain Bryson and the Andromache on the open sea to gain precious cargo. Meanwhile, Richard forces his daughter's hand when he makes an announcement to the locals about his assets being liquidated. This causes a mob to riot against Eleanor, who seeks help from Hornigold. Rackham makes a career change for him and Vane when they become owners of the brothel. Also, Billy questions Flint about Mrs. Barlow, and Anne confesses to Max about her past with men.

This one’s got some pretty bad stuff for blood & gore so might be worth looking away or skipping those scenes if you’re sensitive to that, the sex slavery plotline is much less bad than in the previous two episodes

Timestamps:

As ever, all timestamps are from the “Complete Collection” DVDs which includes a Starz logo at the start, as well as a recap. Depending on your source, timestamps may vary a little, which is why I’ve included the timestamp for the opening titles. Timestamps are only given for the start and end of scenes featuring any particularly warning-worthy content

00:57: opening credits

21:22-23:40: Mrs Mapleton is taken to Max to douche her with a metal syringe to stop her getting pregnant. She is overly rough. Anne takes over and is more gentle. She tells Max she didn’t mean for this to happen when she handed her over to the crew, she only thought they’d kill her

31:56-37:31: The Walrus closes on the Andromache and is hit by her broadside. Shrapnel injuries and missing limbs are shown. Beauclerc shoots the helmsman, and the Andromache is forced to come alongside to be boarded. As they come alongside, a man is shot through the head. In the boarding action we see people shot and stabbed. Dufresne is forced to bite a man’s neck and blood flows out in an arterial spurt before Dufresne passes out

43:23-45:31: Bryson goes into the hold where the slaves are kept. Mr Scott is chained up there. Bryson tells Scott to assist the ship in leaving and he can return to Nassau. He shoots one of the slaves, and goes to threaten another. When the slave behind starts pleading, that slave is unchained and taken upstairs

50:17-51:49: the slave chosen by Bryson tells Flint that the Scarborough is knows where he is and is coming. At that point the Scarborough is spotted and in the moment of distraction the slave lights a bomb. He is shot, falling on the bomb, causing a bloody explosion

Summary:

As they chase after the Andromache, which is out of sight, BIlly goes to Flint to report their speed North by Northeast at 6kts, and Flint decides to discuss his concerns about Billy’s trust

“You don’t trust me do you? With any luck, we’ll sight the Andromache soon. Battle will begin. You and I will have our roles to play. We have the chance for a few minutes honesty first”

“Honesty? Men died yesterday, careening our ship faster than was safe. Men are going to die today attacking that merchant ship out there and they’ll die not knowing it was all based on a lie”

"A lie?”

"We don’t even know if the Urca’s schedule is accurate. We’re completely relying on the cook. How can you just pretend you have no doubts about this”

"Years of practice. There’s always doubt, Billy. No sane man would deny that. No good captain would acknowledge it. Take our present route for instance, we tacked north by northeast, along the Andromache’s best point of sail. If you’re Bryson, that’s the smart course.”

"Well he knows that I know that. So wouldn’t he have at least considered heading Northwest to follow the coast? Lose us in the dark? Or due East, on the chance we might sail right past him? There must be at least one chance in three that that horizon will remain bare and we’ll never see the Andromache again. That’s the truth. But what good would that knowledge do for any man on this crew trying to focus on doing his job? This crew needs certainty. And I need their support to achieve an end that is in all our best interests. So we dance the dance. Never was there a Caesar that could not sing the tune”

"Who’s Mrs Barlow”

Flint smiles to himself. “you’ve heard the stories haven’t you? She’s a witch, who pledged my soul to the devil and anoints me with the blood of infants to keep me safe in battle “

“Come on I’m not stupid”

"No, you’re not. So you can probably guess, it isn’t as much fun to tell stories about how your captain makes a home with a nice puritan woman who shares his love of books”

As Billy asks if that’s true, the Andromache is spotted and Flint smirks, going off to command the ship

Jack walks into the brothel with Anne & Vane. The madam, Mrs Mapleton (above) is talking to a sex worker about a client who did more than she agreed to. Mrs Mapleton is dismissive, suggesting that she ought to charge by the digit. When she sees Vane et al, she tells them that Mr Noonan forbad them to come in, but Jack gives her a piece of paper purporting to be a signed deed settling their dispute over Max by agreeing to purchase the brothel

She thinks this is quite odd and asks where Mr Noonan is now and Jack says he sought passage to Port Royal

“You’re telling me that Mr Noonan, who just a few hours ago had the intent of seeing your captain beaten to a pulp, that Mr Noonan, decided instead to sell you his life’s work?”

“And you expect me to accept it based on a piece of paper and your word? And to keep my mouth shut about it, when any halfwit can see that there’s foul play around?”

She clearly sees through the bullshit, but decides to play along for a raise from 3% of the gross profits to 14%

Eleanor storms into the warehouse and, after speaking to the man Scott knocked out last night tells him to get her horse ready so she can speak to her father. When she goes to her office, she finds Silver chained to Randall, having been stashed there to "stop what’s in my head spilling onto the deck of the Andromache“. Eleanor uncuffs Randall, but cuffs Silver to the couch. He asks why she seems to harbour so much anger towards him. She says it’s because not only did he steal from Flint & his crew, he also lured Max into “his selfish scheme”

“Hold on, I specifically tried to talk her out of getting wrapped up in my selfish scheme!”

Eleanor gets called outside urgently. Her father is giving a speech to a small crowd outside the warehouse, lying, saying that Bryson had known about his arrest before landing, and had been sent to liquidate their holdings in the Bahamas

"For years we’ve all profited in this place, trading on the stability of my family’s name, but unfortunately our circumstances have changed. A fortnight ago, his majesty’s navy attempted to place me under arrest. I am, since that day, a fugitive marked for execution by the crown.

Unbeknownst to me, my family in Boston learned of this, and ordered captain Bryson to liquidate our holdings here. I convinced him to leave behind the contents of our warehouse, but that is all.

To those of you owed credit, or for whom we hold goods in consignment, I leave it to my daughter to see you made whole as best we can. But once that is settled our business with you must be considered complete.

I’m very sorry. God speed to you all”

The Walrus isn’t closing on the Andromache fast enough and won’t catch her before nightfall, at which point she’ll be able to slip away. Flint orders the topgallants (the uppermost set of sails) raised but de Groot protests that with that much canvas up the backstays (which stop the masts being pulled forwards) may not hold, and even if they do, the ship will dick in hard at the bow, possibly hard enough to “shake loose the rigging entirely”. Billy sides with Flint and the topgallants are raised. After a few rough moments slamming into the waves with the bow digging in, Flint wrestles with the helm to get the ship under control as the Walrus reaches 7.5kts - very fast for a ship of this era and the crew cheer

Richard Guthrie comes in to talk to Eleanor, who is furious. He says she “let Flint seduce you into this madness about the Spanish galleon, all in furtherance of the fantasy that you can resist English rule”

"You are a child. I am fully aware that captain Flint left in pursuit of the Andromache last night, but you should know, Captain Bryson sailed the Valesca(?) route for ten years and was never boarded, not once.

Flint will be returning either empty-handed or not at all. This treasure galleon business is over.

As for our future here, I am working on a deal that will make a safe place for us among the farmers in the interior. When the pirates are gone the landowners will drive commerce here. They will be indispensable to the lords and to Whitehall, and so we will make allies of them. We will adapt. And we will survive.”

She asks how he got Scott to cooperate, and he says “we talked like men, and he saw reason”

Eleanor goes downstairs, as Lilywhite is giving a speech to a large crowd. Hornigold and his men are keeping the crowd at bay, but he suggests she announce payments to settle debts immediately. She says she can’t pay, and he presses her, trying to work out what crews will take alternate payment, but she continues

“I’m not winding things up here. My business continues.

Captain Naft of the Intrepid & Mr Walker her quartermaster, Captain Laurence of the Black Hind & Mr Harrison, and our friend Mr Frasier, get them all here now”

Hamund (above centre), the member of Vane’s crew who has been brutalising Max comes into the brothel with the rest of the crew saying “that Guthrie cunt is done”, and wondering what they’re doing in the brothel because they’ll be able to hunt again soon. Jack says that Eleanor is likely not out for the count just yet

"To assume that we’ve seen the last of Eleanor Guthrie is, well, not to know her.

The fact that she appears to have captain Hornigold and his men propping her up only adds to my conviction. Right now we’d do well to keep our mouths shut and be thankful and be thankful we have some income from this place for the moment and bide our time”

Hamund tries to appeal to Vane, who is sitting there blowing smoke rings, but he just goes upstairs, and Hamund leaves with the rest of the crew

Jack moans to Anne about things never being simple. Smirking, she offers to make it simple (i.e. kill them)

"Darling, this is a lovely stop gap, but if we are ever to hunt as a proper crew again we will need - well - a crew. Right now those men are all we have. It is unfortunate perhaps, but no less a reality”

He then suggests Anne take Mrs Mapleton to Max to tend to her whilst Hamund is distracted

As the Andromache readies for battle, Bryson is writing a log when he is told the Walrus will be on them in four hours. He seems unconcerned, his only order being to pack the china plate in their hold with extra straw, so that it might arrive in Boston unharmed

Billy is below decks with Logan (above right), the armourer, going over their stock of weapons. Unfortunately, because they emptied the arsenal before careening, they only have short stocks left as it was all that could be managed before setting sail. Billy says to take it all up top and not hold any in reserve. Either they take Bryson’s ship or they’re “fucked” (Logan supplying the last word). Even Dufresne is given a pistol, and he’s taken aback

Max’s chain is chafing as Anne & Mrs Mapleton come in. Mrs Mapleton starts douching Max to stop her getting pregnant using a metal syringe. She is uncaring about the pain she causes. Anne sees this and tells Mrs Mapleton to leave, before lubing up the syringe, and continuing much more gently. Anne tries to ask why Max didn’t leave when Eleanor beat Hamund off her, and then suggests that Max ought to stand up to the men

“Once one of them came and put his balls on my shoulder whilst I was asleep. Thought it was funny. Last time he put them anywhere. If you take it, they’ll give it”

"Why do you say these things? You were the one who threw me to them in the first place”

“I only thought they’d kill you”

She looks ashamed and leaves

In Eleanor’s office Silver suggests she’s sticking her head in the sand about the situation, commenting that when a mob turns, the ones that gave rise to it are usually the most surprised. Hamund arrives downstairs and Eleanor goes down, coldly holding his gaze. He insinuates that she’s now getting exactly what she did to them and asks how that feels, before saying he’ll go back to Max on the beach

Billy explains the battleplan aboard the Walrus using two brushes for the Andromache (left) and the Walrus (right)

"As we close the distance to the Andromache, the captain believes Bryson will tack port and set himself for a clean broadside volley. He’ll loose his guns, pay off downwind and continue running. Now ordinarily, we would either match him, and return fire, or slip into his wake and make a run at his stern. Unfortunately, we’re too outgunned for the former, and Bryson is too skilled a captain for the latter. He’ll just keep shooting and delaying, shooting and delaying until nightfall, at which point he’ll just slip away.”

Logan asks how the hell they’re going to board her if they can’t shoot at her and can’t get close to her, as the crew nods. Billy says they go straight at her (this headlong rush into the enemy’s broadside is similar to what Nelson would later do on a much larger scale at Trafalgar)

De Groot then says they’ll be sitting ducks for the Andromache’s guns, being raked bow to stern and Logan adds “we’d be boarding bow to midship. For all you virgins in the room, that’s also known as fucking suicide”. Billy says that “of course we’d need to board alongside her. We just need captain Bryson to accommodate, and bring the Andromache about for us to do so”

Billy tells the crew that “Mr Beauclerc is going to convince him”. We see Beauclerc (below centre) whittling in the corner and, as the crew turn to look at him, they seem to accept this

Dufresne tries to talk his way out of being involved in the boarding action, showing Billy the ledger saying he saved the crew a huge amount being good at accounts, and asks if any other man can say they’ve earned as much. Billy says that every man on the crew had a first time, and Dufresne is overdue, despite never having shot a pistol which he’s told is alright, because half the time they don’t even fire

Vane is watching Lilywhite rant when Idelle enters saying she was sent by Jack to tend to Vane’s wounds. She says he should pleased that Eleanor’s finished after what she did

“You hate her. I hate her. They all hate her. Look what good it’s done us.

No captain on this island’s ever known that kind of power. Power that doesn’t care how many votes you can tally, who loves you, who hates you, who fears you. Power that just is.

Truth is, none of us have any right to hate her for it. She’s strong, and we’re weak.

That’s the reality of things here, and no-one down here’s strong enough to change anything”

As he traces the scar on his chest she asks if he isn’t strong enough, and he says he thinks it’s time he found out

The crew of the Walrus are hunkered down to be ready to board, as Dufresne tries to conjure up possibilities where the fight won’t happen, saying he doesn’t think he can do this. Billy tells him an encouraging lie

"Yes you can. Listen, Listen to me! You will make it through this! No-one eats it their first time over the side. I’m telling you, it’s never happened. Not on this crew. Don’t ask me why, it just is.”

"Men die all the time, it can’t be true”

"Not first-timers. Name one. You’re gonna be alright”

Bryson gives the order to fire and we see the result on the Walrus, with men with shrapnel in their faces, and limbs blown off. Beauclerc is in the crow’s nest with several longbarreled muskets (presumably early rifles). He picks up the first, aiming for the Andromache’s helmsman, but a wave rocks the Andromache away obscuring him

The Andromache fires a second volley, and Beauclerc shoots, narrowly missing the helm, and getting spotted. Beauclerc grabs his second musket & Bryson orders the helm to stay where he is and to bear away before they lose the wind. This time Beauclerc hits the helmsman and the wheel spins free, with the Andromache turning to windward, as the Walrus need. Another man takes the helm and the rest of this volley from the Andromache misses. Beauclerc shoots the new helmsman and, as the wheel spins again, they lose their wind and Bryson is forced to give the order to prepare to repel boarders

As the Walrus comes alongside, Dufresne puts his glasses in a pocket. One of the crew is shot clean through the head. Blood splatter, but no wound is shown. We follow Dufresne with subjective shots seeing men get shot and stabbed as they board the Andromache. Dufresne tries to shoot a merchant, but his pistol misfires, the merchant then tries to shoot Dufresne, but his pistol misfires too. They grapple for a while, and Dufresne bites his neck, and blood spurts out. Dufresne falls back and passes out. Later, after the deck is cleared, Billy finds him, covered in the other man’s blood and helps him up

Eleanor has gathered Captain Naft of the Intrepid (above left, in yellow), Captain Laurence of the Black Hind (above left, with the bottle), their quartermasters (right), Mr Frasier (above left, behind the captains) and Hornigold. She tells them that she means to establish a consortium, with them as the heads. Mr Frasier has a charter from the Massachusetts Bay Provincial Authority that could be used to pass customs houses, and the Black Hind and Intrepid are the largest ships on the island, and least profitable. Captain Laurence is insulted

"My men aren’t merchant sailors, they’re hunters”

"Yes, but they’re bad at it Jeffrey. What good is that doing anyone?”

"I put this to them they’ll vote me out before I stop to take a breath”

"I’m amazed they haven’t voted you out already given the shit prizes you’ve been chasing. Your men will earn three times as much in half the time, not facing a single sword or pistol in the process. You’re telling me that you can’t sell that?”

Laurence remains unconvinced, asking Hornigold if he supports it. He says he will, if she lifts the ban on Charles Vane, saying the mob outside thinks of her as a tyrant, with this as one of her most egregious acts

"Charles Vane is an animal! As are the men that remain with him”

"Because they saw fit to punish a thieving whore?”

"And I am not about to say otherwise for the benefit of captain Lilywhite or any of the other idiots out there listening to him”

"I’m listening to him - your commitment to this place is admirable, but you’re young, and you’re rash. Show everyone your motive here is for the common good. Show them that you can be trusted to keep petty animosity separate from business. Rescind the ban on captain Vane and show me that. Do it and I’ll back you as your father’s successor here. The boss behind all trade. Until then I’m sorry, I can’t help you”

"I won’t do it”

"You have until dark to come to your senses. At that point I will withdraw my men and the business of the street becomes your business alone”

The crew of the Walrus have taken the deck, but the Andromache’s crew are stashed below, and the pirates are hacking ways into the lower decks with axes. Gates has checked the dead and injured and Bryson is still alive. The crew get into the quarterdeck bunker to find just three men inside, puzzling Billy. Meanwhile the three pirates of the vanguard are on their way to clear the cargo hold

De Groot tells Flint the rudder isn’t responding, so the mechanism must have been cut belowdecks. Flint orders the vanguard recalled, as we see them cut down by a volley of musketfire ringing out from a second bunker on the lower gun deck as Bryson’s second in command suggests it is time to send terms

Bryson goes downstairs into the hold and looks contemptuously at the cargo of slaves. He stops at Mr Scott who is chained up there with them. He tells him that if he assists in getting the Andromache away he can return to Nassau, but that he should have known there would be consequences for siding with Eleanor against Richard. He has one slave shot in the head, and goes to threaten another. A third slave starts pleading and this slave is then unchained, and led upstairs

Eleanor returns to her office and Silver urges her to accept Hornigold’s terms, asking what she cares. She feels guilty for Max’s suffering. He points out that Max had the opportunity to walk away, but she says she can’t proclaim to the world that what happened to Max was acceptable and apologise to them for ever having said otherwise. As she is on the verge of tears she asks Silver to convince her to “betray Max a second time”

“Max chose. Why? I don’t know, maybe it was spite, maybe it was strength, maybe it was who the fuck knows what, but to be perfectly honest, I don’t care. Because the moment I start making choices based on her decisions I give her a hell of a lot more power over my life than I’m quite comfortable ceding to a perfect stranger. Guilt is natural. It also goes away if you let it. And losing your life’s work, that doesn’t go away”

Vane walks out of the brothel and Jack hurries after him. Vane has requested a skiff. Jack says it isn’t his business, but they may soon be able to hunt again. Van just says that there “problem isn’t in there, never was” and carries on, jumping into the skiff as Jack calls after him, referring to him as “Chaz” (apparently this was attested this early, but I cannot take it seriously because to me it sounds way too modern)

At the Walrus and Andromache Gates tells Flint Bryson is in a reinforced hold directly beneath them at the fore end of the lower gun deck, with doors and roof as thick as the outer hull, so there’s no way for them to breach it, plus they’re right in front of a powder magazine, so they can’t blow their way in or else the ship will sink fast, and there’s no way to get the guns off as it is because anyone sent down will just get shot

"It doesn’t make sense. If Bryson wants to force me to withdraw, what’s to stop me burning the ship once we leave? We’re missing something”

Dufresne is reading the papers in Bryson’s cabin as Billy enters. Dufresne said he wanted to get a headstart looking through them before saying the name “Jameson”

“You said no man ever died his first time over the side, but you forgot about Tom Jameson, Bosun’s mate, about two years back”

“Hm. That’s right. Also, Christian Toms, Will Robins, John du Bois, that Portuguese guy with the lisp, what was his name?”

“Oh that is funny. Thank you. For doing that. It helped”

Billy spots a sealed letter labelled as from Miranda Barlow to “the Honourable Justice Addington, Thomas, the Massachusetts Bay Colony” and goes to open it as he hears a shout from the deck to get away from the hatch. He pockets the letter before stepping out

The chosen slave climbs out of the hatch as pistols are drawn and pointed at him. He asks for captain Flint and then, with one of the pirates as interpreter conveys a message from Bryson

“I’m secure in the hold below, with twenty of my men, I can wait, you cannot. Before departing, I sent a message to the captain of the Scarborough, told him where I was headed, told him where he would find you”

At that moment, the Scarborough’s sails are spotted to the East. The Slave lights a bomb and runs at Flint but is shot by Billy. The Bomb explodes beneath him, sending blood everywhere

#Black Sails #black sails content notes

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scullysflannel · 5 years ago

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hitting up your inbox. here's a question for you: since you've written about tv from a lot of different periods, how would you describe the difference between 90s shows like the x-files or buffy (or even early 00s shows like alias) and stuff made more recently? i feel like "is one better than the other" is kind of a pointless question, but are there things you think each era is better at? worse at? basically just interested in your thoughts on how tv storytelling has changed in the last 30 years

oh wow. I’m sure I’d have a better view of this if I’d been in this industry longer; my sample size from the ‘90s and early ‘00s is small – and more personalized to me – compared to how many recent shows I watch/have watched. that’s my disclaimer. the rest is below the cut because I went long.

overall… it’s hard to generalize about TV now because there’s so much of it. but I think it’s a shame we’ve fallen out of love with the procedural! now they’re mostly overlooked (by critics) and mostly formulaic, which is too bad because a good case/monster-of-the-week show can go anywhere. it’s much easier for procedurals to try on different tones or experiment with form (no dialogue, musical, black and white, etc). and the best ones usually find tension in the idea that resolution is possible: the x-files and buffy both use the monster-of-the-week structure to emphasize how open ended their fights are. one of my favorite new shows this season was evil on cbs because it’s a procedural that works with the format in order to push boundaries. I’d love to see more of that. bring back procedurals that feel fresh!

but as much as I hate the trend of showrunners trying to turn everything into a “10-hour movie” (TV needs episodic structure!) obviously it’s good that we’ve got more serialized storytelling. and yes that’s The Legacy of The Sopranos, but it’s also streaming making it easier for people to catch up on what they missed. we’re at a point where even comedy can be really experimental and long-form; the good place could not have happened a decade ago. I’m glad TV trusts audiences to be smarter now. I just don’t think it’s an accident that the showrunners who are best at serialized storytelling (vince gilligan, damon lindelof, mike schur) have experience writing for procedurals (or standard sitcoms). episodes matter.

peak tv is great because even though there’s still a lot further to go, there are so many more shows now written by diverse voices, featuring diverse casts, telling stories that haven’t been on TV before. but at the same time it’s harder for those shows to find audiences and stick around, and you can see how it makes them less patient with storytelling if they’re on the bubble. the streaming model doesn’t help since apparently there’s less incentive to keep shows around past three seasons. TV shows just don’t last as long anymore. which can be for the best (watchmen was perfect as it was), but at the same time one of the things that sets TV apart as a medium is the time you get with the characters. we watched buffy and scully grow up. and I love the sort of rambling quality of a long-running show and the way the writers are forced to work around real life. I think that’s interesting! (because, again, most stories in real life don’t end neatly.) I don’t want to fully lose that unpredictability. emily van der werff at vox wrote about this recently: TV doesn’t always need to be shorter; it just needs to know how to tell short stories that add up.

this is beside your point, but I’m really interested in how shows hold up over time and what keeps them relevant. the x-files and fringe are both sci-fi shows about investigating the unexplained, but the x-files doesn’t really care about science and fringe really does, so the x-files is less dated than a show that came out 15 years later. alias is very post 9/11, even though the pilot was filmed before 9/11. it’s about living in a surveillance state. but it never seems able to make a strong comment on that; there’s a lot of push and pull between critiquing and accepting the secrets the government “has to keep,” because at the time I think they could only go so far. whereas the americans will probably hold up better, even though it’s also a spy drama, because those questions are the whole point (being a period piece also helps).

I think any good show has staying power; it’s not just about relevance (breaking bad is about the darkness people are capable of, etc, but really it’s going to hold up because it’s entertaining as hell). but I do think ‘90s dramas have a leg up because technology hadn’t totally invaded everyday life yet, so the stories they told were more human. it’s hard to make interesting TV about problems that happen online and on our phones. some shows are doing it – the good fight, evil… basically, the kings are doing it – but a lot of stories about how it feels to be alive today are looking at it sideways (like the leftovers or the handmaid’s tale). the good place had to go to the afterlife to point out that no ethical consumption is possible under capitalism. we don’t have a clear way to talk about the present as it’s happening, even on TV. maybe that’s because it’s so fragmented.

but ultimately I think the good shows are still doing the same things. it’s tempting to say TV storytelling is bolder/less linear/weirder now, but it’s really just packaging. it’s the difference between twin peaks and twin peaks: the return. the ‘90s version looks more traditional, but it’s finding the tension between absurdity and structure as opposed to going all-out absurd. it’s the same questions in a new format. the x-files and the leftovers are still making the same points about the impossibility of understanding the world around us and the importance/limits of relationships to mitigate the chaos. the x-files just couldn’t have told that story with a lion sex cult.

#impalementation #this is so long and i don't know if it's insightful at all but it was fun to think about!!#thank you!

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satyrcon · 5 years ago

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life update?? i guess??

so im only ever really on here to reblog stuff when i am bored or to write long winding paragraphs about my personal life. its weird that even though i keep a pretty meticulous diary, make the occasional video diary, and feel pretty in tune with my emotions i always feel so much better when i pour myself on here. i like to think that maybe if others read whats going on, i am somewhat validated. so here i am.

last time i wrote was in late november. my boyfriend had just broken up with me. i reread my entry and cried a little bit, even though i feel as if i have shifted leaps and bounds from my last entry. our world in general, with the global pandemic going on seems so fucking different from then. i guess the best way to go about this is to just write events chronologically, separated by the months.

Summer 2019 -- November

my ex-boyfriend, who i will dub as L from this point on, broke up with me officially in late November. it was during a time where i felt like i was on the edge of a particular era in my life, and it terrified me. i had been feeling this particular kind of melancholy as early as August, when it began to dawn on me that my undergraduate degree was almost done and that by the end of the year I would be propelled into the “Real world”. the possibility of starting a new era, while i still had no idea who i was, and if i had achieved anything during that time, frightened me. i would spend my days feeling as if i was sitting in still water. i would look at my snapchat memories of the previous year and start to long for those feelings of confusion and helplessness i had felt then, instead of relishing in my newfound stability. i had a great group of friends, i had a boyfriend who i adored as he did me, i was a strong student with great grades, i had a good work/life balance, yet i just yearned to feel out of control, to spiral, to try new things with new people. even though i loved my surroundings i was frustrated. i was frustrated that my friends, who used to party and try new things every weekend couldn’t manage to stay past 9:00 most nights, i was angry that my boyfriend, as much as i loved him, didn’t feel to make as much of an effort as he once did. i no longer felt like i was being whisked up and brought new experiences. i felt settled in, and quite frankly, bored.

my final semester of university sort of solidified these thoughts of mine. i would go to my two classes, and go straight back home. gone were the days of meeting up with my friends for a cigarette at our secret smoking place, grabbing a pint at our favourite pub, sneaking into the gallery i used to work at to get high and party. instead, these new places and activites were being done by a new era of students. and i felt like a has-been, watching them enjoy themselves while i sat on the outskirts.

i would spend my days off at home, smoking cigarette after cigarette in my bathroom, trying to grasp the feeling of deviance that started my habit in the first place. instead i felt like an addict, ashamed and cowardly.

i remember spending my birthday at home alone, drunk before 12, demolishing a pack of cigarettes before 2, and irritated and lonely by the end of the night. it was my 22nd birthday but i felt like i was 12.

my friends were busy with their 9-5′s. so busy that we didn’t even have a proper celebration of my birthday as we did in past years. our friday hangouts would be spent at someones house, talking shit and maybe a glass of wine before heading home before midnight. date nights with L became just sitting in his basement, smoking a spliff and watching the office while having lacklustre sex.

however, despite my frustration, and despite wanting to flee, it was my last desire to find new friends, or to leave my boyfriend. i was perfectly content with waiting patiently for everybody to return into the swing of things. i convinced myself that they weren’t off kilter, it was just me with too much time on my hands. i felt secure on my island, as lonely and as unwelcome as i felt.

the week L broke up with me, seemed to happen in the eye of (unbeknowst to me) a transformative storm. i know i wrote about it in my last entry, that feeling of being completely sideswept and being thrown off my path. looking back, it was the catalyst of the storm i needed to go through, to truly transform.

when it happened, i was approaching the final days of my undergraduate degree. i had my graduation photos set up to be taken on the final day i was expected to be on campus, i even had a cosmetic procedure for my teeth lined up as well. i was excited to do all of these things, and spend my holidays with him, before having reality sink in. i was excited to embark on my new era with him.

instead i was dumped.

the reality didn’t sink in, it slapped me across the face.

the gravity of the situation dumbfounded me at first. it was like i knew i was falling, but didn’t realize i would be crashing onto the ground in that instant.

when we sat down in his car, choking on our own tears, lamenting a relationship i had no idea was going to end that night, it felt like i was getting a limb severed without any anesthetic. my mind couldn’t process why things were ending. sure, my happiness and my confidence in him had been in a state of decline since the summer, but i didn’t see it as the end. i saw it as a speed bump in what was to be a long and fruitful relationship. i couldn’t understand how or why he was so willing and so ready to throw the towel into something he has worked to maintain for over a year. it made me feel like dirt, as if there was nothing about me worth fighting for. that he wasn’t willing or wasn’t able to see a future in me the same way i was willing to. it made me bitter, thinking about how incapable i was of maintaining a long-term relationship. how could people be with someone for years, yet i have yet to find someone who is willing to do that with me. it hurt my spirit, it weighed heavy on my soul.

i wasn’t okay for a while after that happened. i spent the remainder of the month in bed, crying myself to sleep, isolating myself from my friends, seeking out any kind of distraction to keep me from thinking about him. i drank a lot, smoked a lot, and found myself getting high at any opportunity. my friends were at least, a bit more supportive during this time, which i am eternally grateful for.

a few days after things ended, i took myself to get my graduation photos done, feeling absolutely numbed by the recent events to even feel excited about the prospect of finishing my undergraduate degree. all i wanted to do was to crawl into a hole and sleep.

i cut my hair, and went through with my dental procedure in hopes to try and boost my self confidence. and to a degree, it worked, but i still struggled with who i was and who i will become.

i would look in the mirror, sometimes for hours, and not recognize myself. alone, i had to have the brutal realization that those feelings of frustrations i felt in the months prior was my ego screaming for help. screaming for a chance to be reclaimed, instead of being dissolved into another person, place, or thing. i wasn’t longing for my past because of its chaos, because during those times, despite the events that took place, i was my own person, who acted upon my own accord.

i realized that perhaps i needed to sever the limb that was my relationship, to save the whole body.

December

the month of december was spent mostly feeling the laments i did in november. there was nothing in my life at that point to look forward to. without a boyfriend, without friends with as much free time as myself, and with a shitty retail job at the mall, i spent my days in excruciating turmoil. serving people doing their holiday shopping, and going home and spending time with the people who somehow made me feel even more isolated.

i felt even more like a shadow of myself. once upon a time i was cool, i was running an art gallery, i had cool art friends, i had a bustling social life. and now, i am spending my nights alone with my mom, or in my bed, high.

the main difference between the pain i felt in november, as opposed to december, was in how i was processing L leaving me.

in november, i was sad because i couldn’t see it coming. every fibre of my being was constantly going over the reasons why, and deflecting the real issues in our relationship to my own twisted ideals. while in december, i was in pain because i have accepted the end of our relationships, and through acceptance, i was able to finally face the truth of our relationship and find peace with the end. which hurt like a fucker.

me and L were good, L did in fact, love me, but while i was too stuck in the future, L was in the present. We didn’t agree on a lot of things that to be wouldnt have mattered in the future, but in the present, did present a lot of issues. we were on different wavelengths.

i went from missing L, to absolutely detesting his existence. my brain suddenly remembered all the fights i had once glossed over, all of the microaggressions, all of the ways in which he would make me feel incapable, or stupid. all the ways in which he never even touched my expectations, and how i regressed mine to appease him. i was an adventurer, he was happy doing nothing.

followed by the anger, was the slightest hint of relief. despite having my heart broken, i began to realize that this could be the beginning of a new era, free of strings. i could be my own person again.

this realization did come with a fair share of loneliness though. and what was the best way to go about this? of course i downloaded tinder.

once again, i found myself back on this app. even though every single thing that has extended from this app has been fruitless, torturous, and quite frankly, humiliating. but i decided not to dwell on that. i wasn’t looking for anything this time around. i just wanted to pass the time, and feel wanted again.

so began the endless hours spent scrolling, swiping, and half assed conversations. gone were the days of chaotic chasing, and sweet nothings. this time around, the circuit felt cruel to me. i felt like a girl back on the streets, looking for a john. it made me feel stupid and worthless, talking to people knowing that nothing good will come out of it, yet here i was. nobody caught my attention.

then i matched with a guy, who i will call R.

R, in the grand scheme of things, is nothing but a footnote in my life, yet i feel the need to write about him. He was cute, with thick curly hair, a wide smile, and thick framed glasses. we hit it off well, and we decided to meet up on a snowy december afternoon.

i felt so ashamed that i didn’t even tell my friends that i was meeting him. to be quite honest, i was fine with just texting him until he faded into oblivion, but the loneliness i felt mixed in with the desire to be the whacky person i was when i was single propelled me forward.

i met him downtown, we went for coffee, then ate dinner. it was a nice date, and when he kissed me i felt my desirability kick back. he was a fun guy to be around and to talk to, and the fact that we would never start dating made me feel good.

then, i stupidly decided to hook up with him. which is something i should have never done.

i got off work early one day, and took the subway to the edge of the city, where i met him. we rode the bus to his, which was a long 40 minute stretch and then walked another 20 minutes to his. the entire time i kept thinking to myself, how the hell am i gonna get home? but my feet continued to carry me.

the sex was decent. he was more well endowed than my ex, and had more finesse then him, but the sex was awkward. after he finished (on my face), i awkwardly slid my clothes back on and started counting down the minutes until i felt my welcome was overstayed.

i never regretted something so much. i felt like a whore, and a stupid one at that.

we fucked at 5, by 7:00 i was calling the $50 uber home. an uber he didn’t even offer to pay for.

he kissed me goodbye, and told me we would make plans sometime after christmas. he never texted me again. and i wasn’t shocked or sad that it happened. but i was angry.

i spent the rest of the christmas holidays alone, and simmering in my contempt for the world and everything around me. i took advantage of all the booze and food around me and gorged until i hated myself.

it was depressing, yet a sort of necessary depression to start making things get better.

january

after the holidays, i continued to feel lost. and i continued to go about it in the wrong ways.

undeterred by the events that happened with R, i continued to go out on dates with people i had no intention of ever seeing. half of the time i felt forced by my own kindness, as to not lead people on, and on the other half, i went out with these people out of pure boredom.

i’ll briefly summarize the experiences.

A.S

i met with A.S shortly after the new year began. he wasn’t somebody i found extremely attractive, but he was eager. so eager, that i basically decided to see him because he wouldn’t shut up about it and i didn’t have the heart to say no.

he was only attractive in certain ways. he was tall and lanky, but his face looked like a child’s. it was odd watching him smoke a cigarette and it was even harder to take him seriously while flirting.

everything about him was pleasant. he picked me up and took me to a cute little bar called wallflower. we sat there for an hour and over a drink had fun talking and doing light flirting. we smoked a cigarette and then he drove me home.

he was fun to be around, but i didn’t find him attractive in the least bit. i didn’t enjoy kissing him at all. however, his eagerness led to a couple of more dates, which i enjoyed because it allowed me to get out of the house for some fresh air. he took me thrifting, magazine shopping (for my art), and to a museum.

i had to stop things however, when he asked me if i wanted to be his girlfriend. i didn’t have the heart anymore to continue with the charade. it made me feel so guilty but in general i was happy i was the one letting someone down. it was like i was ending a cycle.

A.L

A.L was my first dip into seeing a woman romantically.

up until this point, i have restricted myself to only seeing men, despite always having a physical and an emotional attraction to women that par with men. i decided that being single and all, i should at least try to see a woman, just to reaffirm my feelings and validate that they are in fact real and not some trepid wish.

A.L was extremely attractive. to the point where i thought that she was a fluke. we got along like gangbusters, which made flirting really hard. like myself, she was also beginning to toe the waters of seeing other women.

she was assertive, and played hard ball which i also really enjoyed. she had all the qualities i found attractive in a man in the body of someone i have always wanted.

yet, our dates were awkward. it felt more like two friends hanging out. after two outings we never spoke about a third time. despite all of this though, if the opportunity comes up again i would love to see her. even if its platonic.

E.C

E.C was a mistake through and through.

i matched with him on tinder soley because of his resemblance to L. i thought it was funny. i had a sick fantasy of going out with him and breaking his heart, just like he did me. obviously with no intentions of making it happen.

he was simple, and a bit too naive, but once again i was guilted into going on a date with him. he took me out for sushi, and when he got the bill, complained it was too expensive. at that point i was turned off.

he felt me up once, and it made my skin crawl. he forced me to give him long passionate kisses, which brought me to gag.

he smacked my ass in public once, and after that i disregarded him.

i tried to use these people to give myself a higher regard, to give myself experiences, and perhaps a new gang to run with, and all three of them came up short, leaving me feeling worse than i had started off.

i spent a few days lamenting my actions, the shallowness of them. i tried to suppress my guilt like i did before, drinking, boozing, getting high, and nothing made me feel better, it just made me feel closer with the grotesque figure i saw in the mirror. it frightened me.

february

february i decided to take how i felt head on. i started filling my days with nurturing activities. i started actually making art instead of talking about it. i began to take care of my body instead of punishing it. i finally got myself a gym membership, and instead of taking it as an opportunity to walk down the dark path of past, i used it as a tool of empowerment. i even applied to college, to complete a certificate program. and land me a job.

it felt liberating, spending my days focusing on myself, instead of seeking something to make me feel like the person i wanted to seem to be. spending an hour at the gym felt infinitely better than spending it at home. working up a sweat took my focus off the ails and on the goods.

february was when i met P. another tinder match.

i matched with P on a sunday afternoon. i was bored. yes im a hypocrite.

he was attractive to me, but in a way i never saw it coming into fruition. he was stocky, with a mound of curly black hair, and a snaggle tooth smile. i engaged in conversation with him, knowing nothing will come out of it. because in his words, he’ll be running away to another country in march. spain to be exact.

nevertheless, we continued to talk to each other. unlike the others, our conversations bounced effortlessly, and unlike E.C especially, he was nothing like L. he exuded confidence, swagger, and masculinity.

after a week, we both decided that we have to see each other. and even though i eagerly agreed to see him, a nervous pit grew in my stomach. here i was again, throwing myself at a person hoping i will stick. i felt guilty, scared, and most of all, tired. but going out and trying was a better option than sitting at home with my sister and her insufferable boyfriend.

he picked me up in a red sports car, and we smoked a cigarette before driving off. the date itself wasnt anything grand, we went to a diner and had an old school dinner. but it was everything else that allured me to him. it was like we were cut from the same cloth.

we found out we grew up on the same street, we knew the same people, we have always been in each others orbits. once again, his presence distancing myself from the ile i was once on with L, onto new and exciting waters.

we continued to see each other regularly after that. even though the voice in the back of my head continued to nag me to not see him. to not get too attached. to be aware and conscious that he will be leaving in a few weeks.

i tried not to let the fact that he will be leaving soon dissuade me. in fact, i found comfort in the idea that i could play with this fire, and that there was virtue in being burned would serve me. he would give me the good time i crave, and leave me to continue to focus on myself. i thought about how his physical disappearance would motivate me, or give me something new to linger about instead of my past experiences. this would give me some true longing, something to really look forward to.

our dates were always fun and different. we would check out different bars, or try an activity like skating or playing pool. he was fun to be around and i liked how going out with him felt like an actual date, not just hanging out like me and L used to do.

i was still scared, and extremely conscious not to do or say anything that exposed my developing feelings for him. not now not yet. i immediately began to feel guilt whenever i thought about him. i thought about L, not in the sense of him, but our relationship. i thought about how happy he made me, and also how terrible and awful he made me feel at times. i thought about how stifled i felt near the end, and i thought about the pain he put me through. the excruciating pain of seeing something beautiful crumble. i also thought about P, about he is on track to leave the country and lead a new life in a new country. i thought about how my feelings embarass him, or even worse, follow him to Spain, while he meets new people, new girls, etc.

then there was the coronavirus. this emerging panic.

i would watch the news, seeing different countries getting affected in the thousands per day. it would terrify me and occupy my every thought. and suddenly, it began to intercept with P, what this new virus could hold for our relationship.

march

admist the growing worry over coronavirus grew, ten the unexpected happen, he invited me to meet his friends.

i was extremely flattered, terrified, and weary.

last group of people i met were L’s friends. and they were just the worst type of friend group to ever exist. It was as if i didn’t exist to them, that i could truly never be their friends, because i didnt grow up with them. i sat through many a party holding my elbows, trying to talk and in general, just trying to relate to the people around me. it was awful.

they were all spoiled, simple kids that grew up in the suburbs. and just like the developed residential area they grew up in they were basic, boring, plain.

i was scared of the same thing happening with P. walking in there, always feeling like a plus one.

But thankfully, and graciously, it was the exact opposite.

his friends felt like my friends the second i walked into his best-friends home, a quaint victorian style row house in midtown. i walked in there, shyly clutching a bottle of wine to the sound of everyone going “MONICA’S HERE??”

and thats where i met his friend group. as lively, cultured, and fun as P himself. It didn’t take long to get me acquainted with his friends, while we spent the night playing games, and drinking.

in the moment, it felt bittersweet. it was sweet because the way his friends treated me cemented the truth about his feelings for me. he liked me, just the same way i liked him. if i was a nobody girl to him i wouldn’t even be in the room, let alone, would i be treated so warmly by his friends.

but in a way, i felt our expiry date more than ever. here i was, with someone who i genuinely enjoy being with amongst people i have just met yet adore, and its fleeting from my fingertips as it was happening. i couldnt help but feel pangs of anger and jealously whenever the words Spain, Barcelona, or Europe, were muttered. i couldn’t help but jealous when they talked about their plans for when they all travel to spain to meet him. once again i became an outcast in a group. too late to join to enjoy the fun.

I found out that night he will be gone by March 23rd. it was currently March 5th.

i tried to not let it destroy my night entirely.

the night ended, and as P drove me home i began to toy with the idea of running away to Europe with him. why not? L shut down my every thought of going somewhere remotely far -- hell he didn’t even want to go DOWNTOWN with me. and i have no school obligations to care about. why not travel to europe and live as a vagabond?

“what would you think if i also came to visit you in Spain?” i asked softly

“i think i’d love it” he responded, quick as a whip “in fact, i hope you know you’ll always have a place to sleep if you visit me. always”

i felt my cheeks glow.

“good” i said “i’ll maybe see you in August. you know, when my semester in college is over”

“good” he enthusiastically replied. “and you’re gonna stay with me” he laughed “because youre my girl and i love you”

and when he dropped me off, i knew i really wasn’t a nobody girl. even if the timing was wrong.

after that night i began to let my guard down around him. and despite my fear, he never once made me regret it. he would instead match my affection.

We talked about him leaving a lot after that night too. and even though it made me sad, i couldnt help but feel excited for him. yes the timing sucks but why deny myself a good time with someone i enjoy being with?

and then the lockdown happened.

on March 20th, three days before he was to leave for Spain. a national lockdown was called. no flights in, no flights out.

the coronavirus had finally eclipsed into my life.

and suddenly, the expiration date on our relationship was rendered null. as, everything else in society had when the lockdown was called...

april

and thats my current situation. i’ve been on lockdown now for almost three weeks. and it’s been taking a toll on my mental health, physical health, and emotional well being.

i’ve been spending my days cooped up, sleeping, smoking, and eating my days away. everything that i had to look forward to was cancelled.

my schooling

my brothers wedding

my adventure to spain

at first, i tried to maintain some sort of routine. i continued working out, i tried monitoring my eating a bit more, i tried my hardest to avoid the drugs, the cigarettes. now thats all i do. sleep and eat.

but after a few days, the cabin fever began to sink in. there was no purpose of doing anything if NOTHING is going on. and i hated how much i missed P. we couldnt/cant see each other but we have tried our best to sneak a visit here and there. our dates have gone from adventurous to dangerous. we can’t do much but sit in his car, smoke weed, and talk. it drives me crazy but its all we can do.

i don’t know when this is going to finish, but i feel so thrown off kilter. its as if any sort of progression i have made has been for nothing.

for now, time can really only tell what the rest of the year has in store. it feels so unpredictable.

but thats the tea for now. thanks for reading.

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latin-dr-robotnik · 5 years ago

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Thanks @beevean for tagging me! :P

1. What time is it for you?

A few minutes past 16:00. Menacing clouds formed since I started writing this. It seems it’s going to rain.

2. Cats or dogs?

I’ve always been a dog type of guy, yet I always lend my house or my room for the family cats to chill, and they seem to really enjoy staying with me, so I go along pretty well with both.

3. Favourite colour?

Considering I recently reformed this blog but haven’t changed its colors, I’d say I still have a thing for purple :P

4. Favourite food?

yeah the thing the italian girl said... that thing beginning with P.

My favorite thing about pizza is when I spend hours upon hours of my life making it, and then it receives critical acclaim from the family. The last batch turned out to be almost perfect in every sense, it was exquisite!

Also let’s throw the italian girl for a loop with the Fainá. It’s probably one of the greatest things ever, yet most of my friends haven’t tried it and I’m sitting like “are you fucking serious? this stuff’s great!”

5. Favourite song?

I overthought this for a while. Breaking Away.

A personal highlight from one of the most interesting bands of the 80′s and one of the most iconic figures around here: Luca Prodan. The italian man with an awfully tragic life, a troubled mind, strong addictions and some of the strangest yet beautiful songwriting I’ve seen. An icon of the era where rock music got reinvented after years of dictatorship and censorship of “subversive media”; and even if he actively opposed the general direction the local rock scene was heading to back then, he and the band as a whole ended up contributing to very big part of the identity of it for decades to come. It’s been 32 years since his passing, but if you ask around here, many will tell you: Luca Not Dead. Respect.

6. Zodiac sign?

Leo. Yup.

7. Where did you grow up?

The same place I’m stuck now. The utterly messy, unfavored yet beautiful Gran Buenos Aires. Case in point, my city was featured in a video (if you watch it, tell me what you think!) and we were all shocked that a foreigner was looking at something that wasn’t... well, the big city, y’know, the one that is the face of the entire country and their people are disliked by everyone outside its city limits.

8. Did you go to college?

Yeah, I don’t have any idea when I’ll return lol, some say our academic year is already lost, and oh well, it’s not like I was going to graduate this year either...

9. How has quarantine been?

Last night I had a political outburst just before sleeping, but so far I’m doing fine. We are keeping the house running with what we have and I keep myself fairly entertained. Temps dropped like a rock this past week and we went from hot Summer temps (30°C) to Winter-like ones (last night was 8°C), so that’s rather concerning. Still, the virus spread has been pretty slow so far, and I hope it stays that way.

10. Are you quarantined with anyone?

EVERYONE IS HERE! Parents, grandparents, my aunt, the cats and the dogs, we are all here, holding on together.

#latin dr robotnik stuff #i'm realizing this post ended up being wayyyyy more entertaining than i supposed #from culinary talk to music and even urbanization #it's been a pretty fun ride

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f4liveblogarchives · 5 years ago

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Fantastic Four Vol 1 #138 & #139

Sun Jul 28 2019 [02:24 PM] Wack'd: So apparently the whole "60s issues colored Wyatt white so as a compromise let's give him a slight tan" was not an invention of John Bryne

[02:24 PM] Aleph Null: that's supposed to be a tan? [02:25 PM] Wack'd: That or he's covered himself in strawberry yogurt [02:25 PM] ThreeOfFour: maybe its the widows peak but is that Namor? [02:25 PM] Wack'd: Nope! It's Wyatt Wingfoot! [02:26 PM] Aleph Null: dang, you're a wing, and you have feet? [02:27 PM] Wack'd: Under Kirby's pen Wyatt's hair varied from a standard close cut to something vaguely Clark Kent-ish [02:27 PM] Bocaj: Wait. [02:27 PM] Bocaj: Namor has wing feet [02:27 PM] Bocaj: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM [02:27 PM] Wack'd: His hairline's receding a bit, though I have no idea if this is intentional or just how Buscema draws him [02:27 PM] Bocaj: HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM [02:27 PM] Wack'd: *Anyway* [02:28 PM] Wack'd: So wait--I have questions

[02:28 PM] Wack'd: 1. Did Johnny drop out of school? Probably, right? I mean, he’s not graduating today [02:28 PM] Bocaj: Damn johnny is a drop out [02:30 PM] Wack'd: 2. Metro College is nearby? And has phones? Besides "Stan forgot about me" there's no good reason why he hasn't spoken to Johnny or the rest of the Four in, uh--five years [02:31 PM] Wack'd: I get the idea that if he's going to return you want to make it kind of a big deal, but I'm far more comfortable with the idea that he's still been around and just not doing anything superheroey? [02:31 PM] Wack'd: Because now it's just like "oh, I've moved on with my life but I should probably invite my old best friend who's also a drop out to my graduation ceremony" [02:32 PM] Wack'd: "By breaking into his apartment" [02:32 PM] Umbramatic: oh [02:33 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, Reed decides to give the ceremony (and subsequent chill sesh at Wyatt's place) a miss in case Sue comes back [02:33 PM] Wack'd: Look, dude, I'm sure she does she'll call first? Or leave a note? [02:33 PM] Wack'd: Whatever [02:34 PM] Bocaj: When you refuse to make the first move it involves a lot of sitting by the telephone [02:34 PM] Wack'd: In fairness she's deliberately gone off the grid with his infant child and asked that no one tell Reed‏ where she is [02:35 PM] Wack'd: Not really a lot of opportunities for first moves here [02:35 PM] Bocaj: Has he asked [02:35 PM] Wack'd: Also fair [02:35 PM] Wack'd: But I'm pretty sure when someone doesn't want you to know where they are, going out of your way to find out is stalking, and that's generally frowned upon [02:36 PM] Bocaj: Well like he could have asked someone to send her a message saying he wanted to talk [02:36 PM] Wack'd: True [02:36 PM] Wack'd: You make a lot of good points [02:36 PM] maxwellelvis: True, but the problem is this is Reed Richards we're talking about here. [02:36 PM] Bocaj: Since Reed Is Never Wrong in Reed's Mind he's stuck in limbo waiting for her to come crawling back [02:36 PM] maxwellelvis: He'd have to delegate it entirely to someone else [02:36 PM] maxwellelvis: because aside from what Bocaj just said, Reed tends to make a big production out of everything. [02:37 PM] Wack'd: John Buscema awakes with a start and realizes that nothing about the team's civvie fashion sense has changed in thirteen years

[02:38 PM] Umbramatic: shameful [02:38 PM] Bocaj: "Oh shit, fashion changes" [02:40 PM] Wack'd: 1. Humphrey Bogart was a major movie star and *definitely* has folks fussing over his hair. 2. I'm finding a *lot* of photos of Lloyd Nolan with immaculately trimmed facial hair. 3. Oh god Ben's a "what about the troops" guy

[02:41 PM] maxwellelvis: Just change the references to 'Nam-era stuff and he sounds like Walter Sobchak [02:41 PM] Umbramatic: yufoufgtpit;u;jo'piop [02:41 PM] Wack'd: I'm starting to think that last issue all of his talk about being old wasn't him being brainwashed, that's just how Gerry Conway thinks he should behave [02:42 PM] Wack'd: Which is not exactly endearing me to his run [02:42 PM] Umbramatic: rip [02:42 PM] Wack'd: Well that's ominous

[02:42 PM] Umbramatic: eeeep [02:45 PM] Wack'd: So, Wyatt's tribe has a name now. "Keewazi" (EDITOR’S NOTE: I’d apparently forgotten Lee and Kirby explicitly made him Comanche.) [02:46 PM] Wack'd: I'm sure that was talked over with a lot of Native Americans not just a bunch of randomly-picked syllables [02:47 PM] Aleph Null: marvel bad [02:47 PM] Umbramatic: marvel no [02:48 PM] Wack'd: "I haven't seen Johnny in about five years, so it's definitely socially acceptable to laugh at him"

[02:48 PM] Wack'd: That said, he looks like a friggin Brady [02:48 PM] Bocaj: Which is weird because Marvel Avengers tended to leave it vague and Claremont X Men picked specific real tribes [02:49 PM] Umbramatic: now i'm just imagining a laugh track at all mentions of johnny's hair [02:49 PM] Umbramatic: and it's the Tidus Laugh [02:52 PM] Wack'd: I will say this, to Buscema's credit (and maybe Conway's?)--there's definitely still in "old west" aesthetic here, but the outfits are not nearly as "I watched a movie once" as they were last time we saw these dudes. Also: smart move avoiding teepees. It's the 70s! People want efficient heating!

[02:52 PM] Wack'd: (We didn't actually see any dwellings last time. Mostly just Wyatt's dad sitting on a carpet in the middle of an open field) [02:53 PM] Wack'd: Uuuuuuh "kings" yeah sure

[02:54 PM] Umbramatic: big mountain boi [02:56 PM] Wack'd: And with regards to "warriors" [02:58 PM] Wack'd: Oh no, Johnny did drop out!

[02:59 PM] Umbramatic: poor johnny [02:59 PM] Wack'd: So the Keewazi are in Oklahoma so jot that down [02:59 PM] Umbramatic: oh [03:00 PM] Wack'd: Wyatt traveled a long way to go to a state school! [03:01 PM] Wack'd: That explains nothing, thank you

[03:01 PM] Aleph Null: this is just what men are like [03:02 PM] Wack'd: Also last time we saw this joker he was just Mysterio but earlier and worse [03:02 PM] Wack'd: So this should honestly be a cakewalk [03:02 PM] Umbramatic: good [03:04 PM] Wack'd: nerts

[03:05 PM] Wack'd: Fortunately it turns out that attacking Miracle Man himself breaks his concentration, so no more rock man [03:05 PM] Wack'd: Coming out to gloat--*always* a bad idea [03:08 PM] Wack'd: Oh wow so Miracle Man's new backstory sure is something [03:08 PM] Wack'd: He sought out a tribe of Native Americans who'd mastered "total mental control" and had dwindled to seven despite never having interacted with a white guy before [03:09 PM] Umbramatic: oh [03:09 PM] Wack'd: They agree to a free and equal trade of information, but once Miracle Man has learned all he cares to he murders them all [03:10 PM] Wack'd: Nice of Conway to leave future writers an escape hatch in case this one day turns out to be problematic

[03:11 PM] Wack'd: Which it did, I'm pretty sure, the second it was written [03:11 PM] Umbramatic: yes [03:12 PM] Wack'd: If nothing else this is all fairly on brand for a white guy.

[03:12 PM] maxwellelvis: Well, the next time we see Miracle Man is in Marvel Two-In-One #8, written by Steve Gerber, and he doubles down on the weirdness, as I've said before. [03:13 PM] Wack'd: That's cool so long as he doesn't also double down on the racism

[03:15 PM] Wack'd: ...sure

[03:16 PM] maxwellelvis: To paraphrase Rifftrax, "Either the laws of physics no longer apply, or [Johnny] is playing Halo 2" [03:17 PM] Umbramatic: these are superhero comics, physics are just a suggesstion [03:18 PM] Wack'd: Okay, so the philosophy at play here is kind of nonsense bonkers, but I really want to hone in on the "city he has created on these barren sands." The sands weren't barren! People lived here! They were using it! Christ, Conway!

[03:19 PM] maxwellelvis: Not by choice, mind you. Though I'm not sure if Wyatt's living on a reservation or not. [03:20 PM] Wack'd: Lee and Kirby certainly seemed to think so. Conway and Buscema have issued no statement on the matter [03:20 PM] maxwellelvis: And IIRC most reservations were deliberately placed in the most desolate areas the feds could find. [03:21 PM] Wack'd: But still, it's super shitty to talk about someone's home as though you could be using this land better. [03:21 PM] Wack'd: It tends to be a big anti-Palestinian talking point--"it's good the Jews came in because it's not like those idiots were doing anything worthwhile"--so I'm a little sensitive to it [03:22 PM] Umbramatic: ah, geez [03:22 PM] maxwellelvis: Gotcha [03:23 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, Johnny, Ben, and Medusa make their way back to the surface, and Miracle Man conjures some monsters for them to fight [03:24 PM] Wack'd: And then when things start going south he summons a cyclone to wipe them all away [03:25 PM] Wack'd: Reed Richards Is Useless™

[03:26 PM] Umbramatic: LOOK BEHIND YOU REED [03:26 PM] Wack'd: We're going to find out about that next issue, apparently [03:26 PM] Wack'd: And meanwhile, in Pennsylvania, Franklin without a high-pitched scream and then passes out [03:27 PM] Wack'd: Sue decides not to send for a doctor because "somehow I know he's alright" [03:27 PM] Wack'd: Good instincts, Sue [03:28 PM] Wack'd: Back to the main story! The cyclone harmlessly drops everyone off a few miles away from Miracle Man's city [03:28 PM] Wack'd: And yeah, the Keewazi live on a reservation [03:29 PM] Wack'd: And so Wyatt, Johnny, Ben, and Medusa build a raft and head upstream back towards the reservation, with Johnny using his fire powers as a "motor" for the boat [03:29 PM] Wack'd: I'm sure that much open flame next to a wooden raft is definitely a good idea [03:30 PM] Wack'd: I think Miracle Man might actually be the most morally reprehensible villain in *Fantastic Four* yet

[03:30 PM] Wack'd: A genocidal colonist and a potential rapist to boot [03:30 PM] Umbramatic: ew [03:31 PM] maxwellelvis: Next time we see him, he'll start trying to become God. Not hyperbole [03:32 PM] Wack'd: Apparently Miracle Man is planning on destroying the entire earth! Jesus!

[03:33 PM] Umbramatic: ah yes, the classic supervillain plan, blow up ze earth [03:33 PM] Wack'd: More mook fights. Medusa is kicking some serious ass this issue, effortlessly flinging around three at a time [03:35 PM] Wack'd: Ben, meanwhile, has gone after the Man himself--and this fight is too fucking good to deprive you of

[03:35 PM] Umbramatic: BALOOM! [03:35 PM] Wack'd: God I love me some Buscema punches [03:37 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, Miracle Man tries to get up one last time, but is spirited away by the ghosts of the Cheemuzwa tribe he wiped out, who hope they can cure him of his megalomania. Awfully magnanimous of them. [03:37 PM] Wack'd: Why didn't they do this earlier? shrug [03:38 PM] Bocaj: There was a character from Fairy Tail who was raised by a first nations esque tribe but then it turned out They Were Ghosts All Along so character was free to join the main cast [03:38 PM] Bocaj: Also I hate Fairy Tail [03:38 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, we go out on a cliffhanger, the thing Reed should've looked behind him that was a Negative Zone alarm light

#1973 #Gerry Conway #John Buscema #The Main Book

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