#and see what’s changed in the next couple of years
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Too many in the US treat voting like playing a game, no matter which side of the aisle they choose.
Those who lean more to the left tend to be especially flighty, only showing up for the "big, sexy" presidential elections (and this year, not even then), and THAT is the problem. A candidate they don't like is the only left-leaning person on the ballot, but they aren't 'left enough', and so they choose not to vote.
Progressives and leftists have long needed to take a couple pages from the right-wing playbook, voting in their candidates even if they aren't 'perfect', and not bothering to primary any incumbent who isn't doing what voters feel they should. Lefties have a tendency to just abandon their politicians when said politicians don't make changes "fast enough", because they're short-sighted. Republicans have been playing the long game for years, and conservative voters know it. That's how they've positioned themselves for this takeover.
Liberal/progressive/leftists voters need to work on that, and if the worst happens, it'll be a decade or more before we have the opportunity to tey again.
The reason liberal politicians are worried about courting conservative voters is because they know it's all too likely that voters on the left won't even bother to show for every other election, and thus we get pulled farther and farther to the right.
And now, "Oh, don't worry, we'll fix it in 4 years," like we're just kids on the playground, taking turns on the big toy. Having another presidential election in 4 years is 50/50, at best right now.
Take this time to get registered to vote if you aren't already, and vote EVERY! DAMN! TIME!!!
Even if the leftist candidate isn't "left enough," get them into office, pull them farther left or primary them with someone closer to your beliefs at the next election.
This is what conservatives have been doing for 4 decades. Libs/progressives/leftists need to wake the fuck up and start seeing the entire forest ecosystem, not just their favorite tree.
Americans, I know we're going through it, but why do I keep seeing stuff like "I'm sorry world, we'll fix this in 4 years"? But like... what do you mean "4 years"?
We have midterm in 2026, yearly local elections, special elections, primaries, etc.
We have the right (dare I say responsibility) to contact our representatives and the right to organize and protest if/when they don't listen.
We need to find a meaningful way to educate people about propaganda and media literacy. We need to convince people to be willing to educate themselves. The habit of only checking in to politics on presidential election years needs broken.
I understand how defeating today feels, but we, especially those of us who could conceivably make it through these four years unscathed, need to stop this proactive surrender.
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Bug Like Angel
pt4
See you soon
hey guys warning this chapter literally has none of the batfam here its highlighting reader being insterted into itsv-atsv
It has been a year since you had gotten bitten.
You were now 14
Since then you've lost a couple of people.
Your Gwen Stacy, who was instead named [REDACTED], was killed while you were trying to stop the green goblin.
You lost an officer you were close to. He died while protecting a kid.
You lost someone you considered an uncle.
You were tired.
Since then you've been training yourself, secretly fighting crime to not be seen by your family, and getting stronger in general.
Every day was sortve the same. Wake up, get ready, go to school, come home, eat, fight crime, sleep, repeat.
It all changed one day.
You had just gotten back from patrol.
You stopped 3 muggings and saved a cat from a tree.It was a slow day, thankfully.
You were doing your homework peacefully.
You were almost done with your algebra homework when suddenly a portal popped up right next to you.
You couldn't process anything as the portal sucked you up and took you in.
The next thing you knew, you were stuck in an alternate universe with other versions of you.
And you had to get home soon ASAP no rocky if you didn't wanna die.
And that be all fine and dandy.
Except you didn't wanna get attached to anyone.
You didn't want them to exclude you and you to follow them around like a lost puppy like you did with your family.
And guess what?
You did get attached.
Peni, a small kid who was in a tiny robot fighting, was like a little sister to you.
Peter B. Parker, ham, and Noir were all like uncles to you.
gwen and Miles were your cool older siblings.
You loved them.
And you hated that.
Because you knew deep down, you wouldn't get to see each other again.
You all were destined to be apart, due to your separate universes.
You got attached.
You were attached to noir and how his coat smelled like cigarettes and milkshakes.
You were attached to Ham and how he always cracked jokes when things got tense and awkward.
You were attached to peter b and how he talked about his past experiences.
You got attached to Peni and how she would use stickers everywhere.
You got attached to Miles and how stupidly awkward he was with Gwen.
You got attached to Gwen and how she gave you the advice you always needed.
Fuck.
You didn't wanna go back to the manor.
This is the happiest you've been in a while.
This is home.
You can go on patrol here without worrying that your family might see you.
You are constantly smiling and laughing with the people here.
You're constantly wishing you could stay here forever.
Other than the constantly painful glitching, you're so happy and excited.
You never wanna leave.
You were so proud of Miles and how he got everyone home.
You cried as soon as you landed back in your room.
You sobbed into your pillow. You're gonna miss them.
No one even noticed you were gone for a week.
No one noticed how bruised up you were.
No one noticed how sad you looked.
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It's been 5 months since then.
You got invited to join the Spider Society.
Miguel saw you on patrol trying to fight an anomaly and failing miserably due to you never fully getting actual training.
You were trying! It's just that you didn't want your family to see you so its sort of hard to control a whole glitching green goblin...
Miguel took you into the spider society.
You saw peter b in Miguel's office and immediately tackled him into a hug and cried a little.
You learned that due to being a mix of two multiverses (Marvel and DC) your canon events were a tiny bit messed up.
Miguel explained everything, but everything was going through one ear and out the other.
You wondered if the others were here too.
You wondered if they missed you like you missed them.
Miguel could see how spaced out you were.
"What's wrong, Mija?"
"Are the others here? Like Gwen, Miles, ham, noir, and Peni? I know Peter's here, I saw him just now, but what about the others?"
He went on to explain how they hadn't been invited yet.
Later on, you begged him to at least invite Peni.
He couldn't resist your puppy dog eyes, so he said yes.
Since being introduced into society, you've slowly started getting used to just doing everything here.
You would go into Miguel's office for hours and hours just to be around him.
He was like the father you always wanted!
He would listen to you complain about your family, and he would always lend a shoulder to cry on.
On multiple occasions, he had to carry you back to your bed in your universe because you'd fall asleep in his office on the floor.
You both have gotten close.
Miguel was your emergency contact, always there when you needed him. Despite his intimidating appearance to others, he was never scary to you.
At one point you saw Gwen again, finally!
You were so happy! one step closer to getting everyone together again!
Slowly, you saw everyone again.
..Everyone except Miles.
You didn't understand, why not Miles?
You asked Miguel and he went on a tangent that did not make sense and went through one ear and out the other.
You did get to meet Pavitr and Hobie.
Pavitr was your twin! You guys had similar personalities and had twin telepathy.
You both were around the same age and everything!
Hobie is SO COOL!
He taught you how to play your guitar! You were finally getting a hang of it!
He was like the older brother you never had!
You wanted to be like him so bad!
When he and Gwen jokingly said they wanted to start a band, you wanted to!
A couple of months later, you saw miles again!
It wasn't in the best circumstances.
You had just gotten back from school. You were in your room scrolling on your phone, when suddenly your spidey senses tingled.
You saw Gwen hop out of a portal in the middle of your room.
"Hey! I kinda sort of need your help."
"what's going on?" you asked, tilting your head in curiosity.
Gwen went on to explain everything you missed.
From Gwen seeing miles to Miles tagging along onto Mamhatten in pavers universe, and then to Miguel's body slamming him into a train and calling everyone to chase him.
Jeez, you don't go to the society for one day and everything goes to shit.
You thought about it for a second, no one would notice you not being here for a couple of days, right?
"..alright, I've saved the multiverse once, I can do it again."
You sat up on your bed and grabbed your suit.
You grabbed Gwen's arm as she took you to a whole other universe.
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After a lot of fighting, you all managed to save Miles's dad.
Seeing their family be happy together made you tear up in happiness.
They deserved to be happy.
After a lot of apologies from all parties, everything was still pretty awkward.
You've probably apologized to Miles over a million times despite him insisting it wasn't your fault.
Sure, you didn't help the others chase him, but you still didn't tell him about society.
Hell, you should've been there to defend him.
You should yelled at Miguel from the beginning over him not letting Miles in his exclusive clubhouse.
Instead, you were scared Miguel was gonna bring you back to the manor and disown you, even if you knew he would never do that to you.
You should've stood by miles from the start.
It's never too late to make up for everything.
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oml this was kinda boring but i needed filler lol
honestly i might write a oneshot of all the spiderkids together
taglist (please tell me if i forgot to tag you!):
@bath1lda @mariadvorak @coralaura @tsxukikami @hjgdhghoe @coffeeaddictxd @cxcilla
#batfam x neglected reader#batfam x reader#batfamily x reader#batsis#bruce wayne x daughter reader#neglected reader#platonic batfam#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#spider bat!reader#batman x reader#batfam x batsis#batfam x child reader#batfam x you#batfamily x batsis!reader#batfamily x neglected reader#batsib#batsib!reader#batsibling!reader#batsis reader#batsis!reader#neglected batfam#neglected reader x batfamily#platonic batman#platonic yandere batfam#yandere batfam x neglected reader#yandere batfam x spider reader#batman#batfam#miguel o'hara
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Hii! I've never requested but I can't get this idea out of my mind..
So basically Felix and reader have been college roommates for a year or two but Felix ends up falling for them and has to tell them cos it’s only a few months till graduation.
Totally understand if you can't do it, but thought I'd ask!
everglow
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9bb66a7a606f8773529b6d2682686d5a/868e184b7348291c-1d/s540x810/3f52415e2d6153e6ff896f907afe4eb1ff735675.jpg)
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𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓅𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒾𝒸𝓊𝓁𝒶𝓇 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝓂𝓸𝓃𝒹 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝓮𝓍𝓉𝓇𝒶 𝓈𝓅𝓮𝒸𝒾𝒶𝓁
your best friend and roommate is acting especially sentimental tonight. you try to get to the bottom of it
pairing: felix × gn!reader
wc: 6.3k
content: college au, friends to lovers, feelings realization, shy felix, oblivious reader, fluff, light angst, crying?, pouty lix, kissing, mildly suggestive?, hopeful ending
a/n: my first fulfilled request?? i apologize if this was sitting in my inbox for forever.. i wasn't planning on writing a whole thing but then suddenly. i had an epiphany. ty for helping me out of writers block anon 🫶 i hope this is kinda how you were envisioning it!
[also read on ao3]
—
Your college dorm is a familiar sight, the mess of papers and coffee cups giving away the fact that the end of the year is fast approaching. You've been sharing this space with Felix for the past couple years, both of you working hard to keep your grades up and—hopefully, somehow—graduate?
…You're sure it'll be fine. As long as you do well enough on your capstone project, which is why you're sitting at Felix's desk, dutifully researching. Sometimes you take to his room when you need a change of scenery or just want company; though it's just you right now as Felix had to leave for class earlier.
You're just about to take a stretch break when you hear the front door open and soon enough, Felix trudges into the room. “Still here?” he says when he sees you.
“Unfortunately.” You set your things down and look over at him with a long sigh to convey your exhaustion.
“Dude, same,” he groans, tossing his bag on the floor before flopping down on his bed. “I don't think I've ever been so fucking tired in my life. Why did I pursue higher education again?”
That gets you to laugh a little. “Maybe for some kind of high-paying job and… a sense of accomplishment?” you suggest.
He lets out another groan, rolling over on his side. “But at what fucking cost? Sleep deprivation and a caffeine addiction?” He looks at you with wide, pleading eyes. “Remind me why I'm doing this again.”
You get up and walk over to his bed, sitting down on the edge next to him, a playful smile on your face. “Well, I seem to recall someone who said they wanted to be some hot shot computer engineer.”
He props himself up on one elbow to face you. “Ooh, you think I'm hot?” he says, wiggling his eyebrows.
You give him a look that hopefully conveys how much of an idiot you think he is. “Hot shot, dumbass.”
…Still, it would be dishonest to disagree: your roommate is attractive. Anyone with a working set of eyes can see that.
“Ohh, I see. You think I'm hot shit?”
You roll your eyes so far back it almost hurts. “As if you don't hear that enough.”
He grins, clearly amused and clearly not above shamelessly fishing for compliments. “Oh, but it's so much more fun to hear it from you,” he teases, leaning back against his pillow.
You give him a withering glare but he just reaches out and pats the spot next to him on the bed. “Come sit down.”
You raise an eyebrow at him. “I am literally sitting down.”
“Okay, well, closer, genius.”
You sigh exaggeratedly, but you humor him anyway, scooting over closer to where he's lounging on the bed. You thought that was enough, but this is Felix, and you should have known better. He reaches out and grabs your wrist, gently but firmly tugging you down next to him.
He shifts so he's on his side facing you and grins, clearly satisfied. His hair is messy and there's a hint of dark circles under his eyes, but he still manages to look unfairly attractive.
You shake your head at his antics and let out a long sigh. “Well… You've already made it this far, you know,” you tell him. “Only a few months left of dealing with school, and then you're done.”
“...Yeah.”
He's quiet for a moment, his gaze drifting across your face, a hint of something almost like melancholy in his eyes.
“Why am I kinda sad, though?” he finally asks with a chuckle.
You blink. “Sad? About being done with school?”
He nods. “I mean, I want to be done, god, believe me I do, but…” He blows out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “I dunno, it just doesn't feel as good as I expected it to. And I'm…” He pauses, clearly thinking his words over.
“I'm… gonna miss this, honestly. A lot.”
“This?” You gesture around the room. "You're going to miss this? Our tiny-ass, overpriced apartment?"
He laughs at that. “Not this place, I guess.”
“Then? The constant lack of sleep? Exams? The shitty cafeteria food?”
“Please,” Felix scoffs before taking a deep breath, looking somewhere behind you. “I'm… going to miss this." He looks back at you and pokes your shoulder for emphasis. “This. Us living together. Hanging out all the time. I'm going to miss that.”
You blink, a little taken aback at his earnestness. “Oh,” you say intelligently. “Yeah. I…”
You try to ignore the way your heart is suddenly in your throat. In truth, you've been doing your best not to think about it, how things will inevitably change after graduation.
“I mean…” you start. “It's not like we're never going to see each other again or something. We'll keep in touch, right?” But even as you say it, you feel yourself deflating. It’s not the same.
His expression reflects yours, his smile soft but a little sad around the edges. “...Of course we will.” He sounds like he's saying it as much to himself as he is to you.
He's silent for another moment, his fingers gently running over the blanket, not quite meeting your gaze.
“It won't… be the same though,” he says, mirroring your own thoughts. “Like— you know? I'm gonna miss the convenience store we always go to at 2AM, I'm gonna miss our late-night study sessions and the shitty coffee you make, I'm gonna miss how you always use up the hot water in the shower and your annoying alarm waking me up at fuck-ass in the morning—” He suddenly cuts off, a flush rising in his cheeks.
He turns on his back again, slinging an arm over his eyes. “Ugh, I don't know, just shut up and let me wallow in my feelings.”
You're honestly a little speechless. All that, things he claims are annoying — he's going to miss it all that much?
“Hey,” you say gently, nudging his shoulder. “Hey, you sap, look at me.”
“No. I'm wallowing.”
You roll your eyes. “I can see that.” You poke his arm. Then again, harder. “Come on, look at me.”
Felix huffs dramatically, lowering his arm and turning his head to look at you from the corner of his eye. “What? I’m looking.”
Your heart clenches at the sight of him. He's pouting, looking a little petulant but still so endearingly cute, and you can definitely see the hint of embarrassment in his gaze as he peeks at you.
You let a smile spread across your face. “You're gonna miss me.”
Felix averts his gaze, his cheeks going a little pinker. “I mean, a little, I guess,” he mumbles, before letting out a heavy, dramatic sigh. “Ugh, why are you looking at me like that? Don't let it go to your head or anything.”
It's so obvious that it's more than just a little — but you decide not to call him out on it. Instead, you lean forward, propping yourself up with one arm. “Too late,” you tease, grinning widely. “You're gonna miss me so much.”
He groans, throwing his forearm over his eyes again. "Whatever. Shut up.”
You look at him silently for a moment, taking in his flushed face and his messy hair. God, he's so cute. You've always been aware of how pretty he is, but there's something about seeing him like this, completely unguarded and vulnerable, that's making your lungs feel tight.
You clear your throat awkwardly, shifting your gaze away from him. “Hey, come on, cheer up.”
“No,” he says, still hiding his face behind his arm. “I'll just lay here and wallow and die."
“So dramatic,” you chide, poking his side roughly, trying to distract yourself from your own thoughts. You're starting to feel a little flustered too.
He whines at the contact, swatting at your hand, but you notice he hasn't moved his other arm away from his face. “Ow, hey, violence,” he complains, curling away from your fingers. “Ow, ow, dude—”
You reach out and grab his wrist, pulling his hand away from his face. He lets out a half-hearted protest, but doesn’t get the chance to resist.
Oh. His eyes are shining.
You freeze.
He's pouting again, but it's less childish now and more vulnerable, embarrassed. For a moment you just sort of stare, suddenly hyper-aware of how close the two of you are. His face is so close, so pretty, and your heart is doing something strange, beating rapidly in your chest.
“You’re—” You clear your throat, struggling with what to say. You… hadn’t realized how much this was impacting him.
He looks away and blinks hard, but his eyes are still a bit misty, unshed tears stubbornly sticking to his eyelashes. “Sorry. I'm being stupid,” he finally says, his voice a little quiet. “Ignore me, I'm just being weird, it's—” He swallows. “...I'm tired.”
Oh, god. You've been joking and teasing and making fun, but now you just feel like the biggest jerk, because he's actually really upset about this.
“Wait, no,” you murmur, suddenly serious. “No, it’s not— You're not being stupid. I—” You're having a lot more trouble than usual forming coherent sentences.
Your hand is still around his wrist, your fingers pressing against his pulse point. You squeeze it lightly. “It's okay.” You can feel the rapid beating of his heart, in contrast to the rest of him lying completely still. “It's not stupid. I’m— I'm gonna miss you too, idiot.”
He lets out a wet sounding laugh at that, rolling his eyes, but he doesn’t pull his arm away from your grip. “So mean,” he says. “Do you have to insult me to say nice things?”
“Well, yeah.”
The corners of his mouth twitch and you feel a bit of relief that you've managed to cheer him up a little.
“But you mean it?” He looks up at you with a shy expression. “You're gonna miss me?”
“Of course,” you say, suddenly struck by how much you mean it. “Yeah, I am. A lot.”
He lets out a low breath, eyes flicking over your face. “Yeah?” he says quietly.
It's silent for a moment. Felix is still looking at you, a little shyly, and it's driving you a little crazy. He sighs, his brow pinched slightly, like he’s struggling with some internal conflict. You wait patiently, giving him space to express what he wants to say.
But he doesn't. Just averts his eyes and blinks harshly at the wall behind you.
“Please don't cry or I'll start crying too,” you say with a bit of a nervous laugh.
Felix lets out a shaky breath. “...I’m not going to cry.”
You give him a look.
“I’m not,” he insists, using his free hand to rub his eyes. “I have allergies or something, I just— I—”
He hesitates, clearly trying to gather his thoughts.
“Okay, look,” he sits up, pulling his wrist free from your grip and taking a deep breath. “It's just— I…” He stops, running a hand through his hair nervously.
“Felix?” you ask, sitting up too. You're starting to get a little concerned. Why is the mood suddenly so weird?
He groans, burying his face in his hands, his voice muffled when he speaks. “This is embarrassing.”
It doesn't help your concern. “What’s embarrassing?” you ask carefully, trying to keep your voice steady.
“This,” he mutters, still hiding his face.
You hesitate a moment, not really knowing what to do, before tentatively reaching out and touching his arm. “Um… It's fine, you can talk to me.”
He lets out a frustrated breath before finally looking at you. “You’re not gonna like it.”
Oh. “Well… Did you… like, kill someone or something?”
Felix stares at you for a moment, clearly trying to keep a straight face but his lips twitch a little. “No, I didn’t kill anyone, you psychopath,” he says dryly.
“Okay, well, good,” you say, clearing your throat. “No illegal activities? The government isn't after you?”
“I… No,” he says slowly.
This conversation is taking a bizarre turn. “And you're not, like… secretly an alien sent to spy on humans this whole time? And… now you have to return to your home planet to plot the annihilation of Earth?”
That finally gets Felix to laugh. “You're— you're a fucking idiot,” he says through giggles. “Seriously.”
“I’m just checking,” you say, crossing your arms. “You're being all weird and shit and…” you gesture vaguely. “Maybe you're an alien. I don't know.”
That only sets him off giggling again. “Oh my god,” he says, leaning his forehead on your shoulder, his body shaking with laughter. “Why are you so dumb.”
You roll your eyes, just relieved to see him smile. He's much more relaxed now, the mood in the room lifted with his laughter. All part of your plan. You're more than happy to appear ridiculous if it means seeing him laugh.
He finally stops laughing, though he’s still smiling a little as he lifts his head and looks at you. He’s much closer than you anticipated, and you try not to be too distracted by the freckles around his eyes and the way his eyelashes flutter when he blinks as his gaze flicks across your face. He’s looking at you intently, and the air in the room feels charged, electric almost.
“You…” he starts, but hesitates, cutting himself off with a shake of his head. “Why are you so dumb,” he repeats.
Wow. “Now who's being mean?” you pout.
He laughs again, but it’s softer than before, a shaky, nervous sound. “God, I— this is so stupid, I—”
He lets out a frustrated breath, staring directly into your eyes, his expression intense and focused. “How do you not notice,” he mutters under his breath.
You’re frozen under his gaze, your heart suddenly in your throat. “Notice… what?”
Felix closes his eyes. “Nevermind. It doesn’t matter.”
What? “It seems like it matters since you’re…”
He opens his eyes again, looking a bit pained as he looks at you. “Just… just forget it.”
You don’t know what to say. You can feel your heart beating wildly in your chest, your hands shaking slightly. “Uh… okay,” you say. “Sorry for… being dumb…?”
He grimaces. “No, I didn't mean it like—”
He lets out a long, heavy breath, shaking his head. Then he reaches out and takes your hand, his fingers brushing against your wrist.
His voice is quieter when he speaks, looking down, idly playing with your fingers. “Just… you’re supposed to notice,” he mumbles, almost to himself. “It’s supposed to be obvious.”
You stare at him, confused and flustered and… honestly, a little distracted by how he's touching your hand. “What's… uhh, what?” Everything feels like it's too much all of a sudden, and your chest is really starting to do something weird.
He sighs. “Nevermind. Seriously.”
There's a moment of silence before he speaks again. “When we graduate,” he starts. “...Which I guess is really soon, huh.”
The way he says it makes your chest pang painfully. He’s still not looking at you. “I won’t see you anymore…” he murmurs, his voice so quiet you can barely hear him.
You grab his hand, stopping him from fiddling with your fingers, and squeeze gently. “Hey,” you say. “C’mon, it’s not like that.”
He huffs out a bitter laugh. “Isn't it, though?”
It kind of feels like you’ve been punched in the gut. This isn't like him, he's usually the one full of sunshine and optimism, reassuring you. But right now, the defeat in his voice is palpable.
The reality of the situation starts sinking in. Time’s almost up.
“Felix,” you say quietly, and he finally lifts his eyes up from his lap to look at you. His eyes are watery again.
He swallows, his voice breaking a little as he speaks. “Sorry, I’m being… I’m being unfair, I just…” He hesitates before continuing. “I don’t want to not see you.”
You frown, tears pricking your eyes now too. You don't trust your voice to speak, throat feeling tight and uncomfortable.
“And you’re just… so oblivious,” he continues, his finger tracing over your knuckles. “So stubborn, and dumb, and you’re probably the most annoying person I’ve ever met in my life and I seriously cannot believe I like—”
He cuts off suddenly, slapping a hand over his mouth.
Wait.
“Felix,” you murmur, and his eyes dart up to meet yours, a little panicked. He tries to jerk his hand away from yours, but you hold on tighter, keeping him in place.
“Felix,” you repeat, your skin buzzing from the way he’s looking at you. “You can’t just… leave me hanging like that.”
He looks away, face a brilliant crimson red. “Yeah, I can.”
You almost want to laugh. You didn’t realize he could be so shy, but you can’t focus on that now, because your heart is racing and you can’t tell if you’re going to pass out, or pass away.
“No, you can’t,” you say shakily. “When are you gonna tell me? At the commencement ceremony?”
He lets out a half-choked, almost hysterical sort of laugh, keeping his head turned away so he doesn’t have to look at you. “Yeah, something like that.”
He has to be joking. “That’s months away!”
“And?”
You shake your head, feeling dizzy. “I’m not gonna wait that long, are you insane?”
He huffs and glares at you, pouting. “Oh, well I’m sorry, would you just rather I shout it from the fucking roof tops then? Hey, everyone, I’ve been in love with my best friend since freshman year!”
What.
You blink, stunned speechless, your eyes wide.
Your mind is spinning, the air in the room suddenly too thick to breathe. The words in love keep ringing in your ears, over and over again.
“You— you what?” you manage to get out, feeling a little faint. You must not have heard him correctly. You're hallucinating, or having a stroke or… something. He can't actually mean—
Felix winces. “...Fuck.” he mutters, dropping his head into his hands.
“Oh my god,” you whisper, brain still struggling to catch up to the situation. You’re still processing that he said the word love, when the last few words register.
“Wait— freshman year?” you say incredulously. “You’ve— since—?”
He’s clearly trying to act somewhat composed but the bright red on his ears betrays him. “Um. Yeah. Shut up. Stop talking,” he says, voice muffled from behind his hands.
You think about the past few years of your life, every interaction with him, and it’s like everything suddenly clicks into place.
The way his ears turn pink whenever you compliment him. The way you could always get under his skin so easily. You think about every time he got defensive, or huffy, or pouty at something innocuous you did or said.
…The way he's never really shown interest in anyone, despite the plenty of interest shown his way. The countless people he's turned down, for seemingly no reason. When you'd questioned him about it, he'd just laughed awkwardly and said he preferred to focus on his studies.
“Oh my god,” you say again.
Felix groans and hides his face further, his ears practically on fire. “Stop. Don't,” he mutters. “It's okay. Just… pretend you never heard that, okay, it's fine—”
“No.”
It’s silent for a moment, Felix still hiding his face, and your mind still swirling with thoughts.
You kind of want to kiss him.
The realization is sudden, but not entirely unexpected. It’s not really a surprise, honestly, just another thing that feels natural. Maybe because deep down, of course somewhere along the line you've developed feelings for the person you can trust with anything, who gets you more than anyone else. Your favorite person in the world.
You’re only half in your right mind as you grab his wrists, pulling his hands off of his face.
“You ass,” you say, staring directly at him.
He looks at you with wide, panicked eyes. “I'm sorry—” he starts, but you cut him off.
“Can I kiss you?”
He chokes, eyes going even wider. He opens his mouth, then closes it, clearly caught off guard. After a moment, he manages to find his voice, though it’s very high pitched and shaky. “What?”
You take a deep breath. “Can I kiss you,” you repeat, your head feeling fuzzy, your pulse pounding in your ears.
“…What?” he asks again. His face is bright red. “Are— are you serious?”
“Do I look like I’m kidding?” you murmur, leaning even closer, your faces almost touching.
His breath catches, and his eyes dart between your eyes and your lips. “Please say you’re not,” he manages to say, voice breaking.
“I’m not,” you say, feeling a little crazy. Insane, maybe. You can’t really bring yourself to care. “Can I?”
He doesn't give you an answer, letting out an incredulous breath before grabbing the front of your shirt and yanking you forward as he falls back so you land on top of him.
You’re about to protest at the continued lack of a clear answer, but then he’s kissing you and you forget how to speak.
It's not the most graceful kiss, you’re both a little clumsy, but it’s sweet and it’s Felix and that’s all that really matters. You figure it out quickly, getting into a rhythm, and he lets out a shaky breath against your mouth, his hand moving to tangle in your hair. You feel like you’re dreaming, or drowning, or both.
Felix is kissing you. Felix is kissing you. Your closest friend. He’s in love with you, and he’s kissing you.
It makes your head spin. After several moments, you finally pull away, panting and dizzy. You feel a little delirious, staring down at him, both of you catching your breath.
His head falls back against the pillow, face turning impossibly red as he blinks at you like he’s in shock. You laugh a little and he huffs, but his eyes soften.
“So… you, uh— You— Are you—?”
You cut him off with another touch of your lips, effectively shutting him up. He instantly melts into it, tightens his grip in your hair, pulling you further into the kiss, and you can’t think straight, everything is just Felix.
After a while, you’re forced to break away again for air. Felix whines at the loss of contact, eyes half-lidded, his cheeks flushed. You only manage to get a few breaths in before he's pulling you down into another kiss, more urgently this time.
You let out a surprised noise, and he takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. He seems to be determined to kiss you senseless, and it’s working.
He bites your bottom lip, making you gasp into his mouth. He mumbles something in response, his thigh sliding between your legs, and your brain short-circuits.
Okay. You shiver. Okay. You should probably… You manage to pull away for a much needed breath and Felix tries to chase after your mouth, but you press a hand to his chest to hold him in place.
He groans, looking frustrated, but flops back against the pillow obediently. He blinks at you dazedly, his own chest heaving, eyes half-lidded and dark, but his expression quickly morphs into a pout. “Why… Why…?” he complains, trying to tug you closer again.
You huff a weak laugh, shaking your head, and he gives you a wide-eyed look, all innocence and sweetness, and that's not fair that he can look like this after all of that.
“Just— one sec,” you somehow get out, your mind still completely overloaded. “We should… uh…”
He’s still trying to reach your mouth. “What,” he mutters, breathing heavily against your neck.
“Talk,” you manage to say, even as his lips make their way to your jaw. “We should… we need to… oh my god—”
You cut off, stifling a gasp as he sucks on your skin. “Felix,” you say, trying to be stern, but it comes out like a moan instead.
“Mm?” he hums against your ear, completely unapologetic. “You want to… talk?”
“Yeah.” It takes all your willpower to pull away, ignoring how he whines in protest. You sit up and take a moment to compose yourself, willing yourself to ignore the urge to just give in to him.
Felix flops back onto the bed, throwing his arm over his eyes as he sighs, his voice sounding a little raspy.
“Sorry,” he mutters, his ears red. “Sorry, god, I've thought about this so much, I just—”
Oh. “You’ve… thought about…? How much…?”
He makes a strangled noise and covers his face more thoroughly, voice muffled. “Oh my god,” he groans, “I'm going to fucking die. I… a lot.”
…Okay. Okay. Deep breaths. Okay.
“...How much is a lot?” you ask, unable to resist your curiosity. And maybe you want to tease him about it. Just a little.
He groans again. “So, so much. An embarrassing and pathetic amount.” He’s not even trying to hide his pouting. “Can you please not make me say the actual words.”
You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from laughing, but the way he sounds — breathless and embarrassed — it’s honestly kind of adorable. He’s always so confident in most aspects of his life that you kind of love seeing him so flustered.
“Please… don’t,” he mumbles, peeking at you. “I’m begging you…”
He's blinking up at you, the picture of innocence once again. He glances up at you through his eyelashes, all pretty and delicate and ugh, he's absolutely doing this on purpose.
“You’re distracting,” you say weakly, staring down at him. “Stop making cute faces at me.”
He does not stop making cute faces. He tries though, lowering his hands as his face drops into a scowl. “I’m not making a cute face,” he protests.
“Yeah, you are,” you say, raising an eyebrow. “You’re doing it right now. Your pouty thing.”
He sniffs. “I'm not,” he says petulantly, though there’s a hint of mirth in his eyes. “This is just my regular face. It’s not my fault if my face is cute.”
You roll your eyes. “Yeah, okay.”
He opens his mouth to respond but you cut him off with a finger, placing it over his lips. His mouth instantly snaps shut, and you can’t resist a little grin as he looks up at you with wide eyes.
You watch as he swallows, his eyes fixed on you, and, not for the first time, you’re reminded of how pretty he is. He’s always been gorgeous, in an objective sort of way, but you feel like you’re seeing him for the first time.
You move your hand away and take a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. You need to talk about this while you’re both still somewhat coherent, or you’ll go absolutely insane.
“So…” You’re a little pleased with how steady your voice is, considering the circumstances. “You… love me.”
Felix coughs and covers his face again. “Do you have to say it like that,” he groans, his voice muffled by his palms.
“You never… you never said anything.”
He just shrugs, still hiding his face. “I was scared to lose you,” he says with a shaky breath. “I didn’t expect you to want me back…” There's no bitterness in his tone, just disbelief.
You frown. “But you’re—” You bite your tongue. Felix was worried about you not wanting him?
You shake your head, a somewhat acrid feeling welling up inside of you. You've seen firsthand the sheer amount of attention he gets from people, from the random gifts and outright confessions and people slipping him numbers and notes everywhere he goes. There's never been a shortage of interest in him, from all sorts of people. Compared to him, you're… nothing.
“So… this whole time, you just… thought I was clueless?” You're still trying to wrap your head around it.
He sighs. “I mean, kind of,” he says, his eyes peeking through his fingers. “You’ve been completely oblivious to anyone who’s ever flirted with you.”
Including me, he doesn't say, but you're starting to put the pieces together.
You wince, your face flushing. “I’m not that oblivious,” you protest weakly. “I just… I’ve never been particularly interested in… anyone.”
Felix stares at you, one eyebrow raised.
“Like…” It's true that you've never really liked anyone very strongly in all your time at college. Some fleeting crushes here and there, but even the few people you had tried to go on dates with always felt lacking in some inexplicable way. You always felt much better as soon as you'd come home to your shared space with Felix, always feeling the most comfortable in his presence. Was that it? All this time, no one could ever compare to your best friend?
And the constant attention Felix would get… It annoyed the hell out of you. At first, you would tease him, even encourage him to give them a chance, delight in the way his face would turn bright red. But it quickly became so annoying watching him have to navigate awkward conversations, politely turn people down. Sure, a part of you was probably a bit insecure always watching him receive so much attention. At least, that's what you told yourself. But beyond that, you think you're finally starting to understand the feeling for what it is.
Jealousy.
“Oh my god.” You’re starting to realize what a mess this entire situation is. “We're both idiots.”
Felix finally drops his hands from his face, giving you a dry look. “Speak for yourself.”
"Shut up," you say absently, not even annoyed. Your head is reeling.
This is… a mess. Felix is in love with you, you’re pretty sure the feeling has been mutual for a while, and you’re both leaving this place in just a few months.
“So… you’ve never liked anyone before?” Felix asks. His tone is a bit teasing, though there's curiosity beneath.
You make a face. “Um.” Yeah, that's what you thought for the past couple years until now. How much do you reveal?
All of the puzzle pieces are clicking into place in your mind, making your head hurt even more. So much time wasted, you want to cry.
“I guess no one ever compared to you,” you say without thinking, and immediately slap your hand over your face.
“Oh.” There’s a second of silence as you both process the words.
Then, Felix starts laughing.
“Oh my god,” he mutters, struggling to contain himself, barely managing to keep his laughter under control. Your face is growing redder by the second, embarrassed and annoyed.
“Will you stop?” you whine.
“I’m sorry, I just—” he tries to get himself together, taking a deep breath before looking at you fondly. “This is the corniest fucking shit I've ever— holy shit. We're actually both stupid.”
“I told you,” you say, smacking him on the arm.
He just snickers, grabbing your wrist before you can hit him again. He pulls you so you’re half-lying on top of him again, and you can feel his shoulders shaking as if he’s trying to keep from bursting out into another fit of laughter.
You let your head fall against his chest with a huff, still annoyed even as he wraps an arm around you, his hand rubbing against your back.
“You jerk,” you mutter.
He hums, sounding amused. “You love me.”
You go rigid, and he starts to laugh again, obviously enjoying the fact that he found an easy way to fluster you.
“Shut up,” you grumble weakly, burying your face against him.
It isn't fair. He’s had time to fully realize it, years apparently. He’s had time to process everything. Meanwhile, you feel like you’ve been completely blindsided.
He finally stops laughing and you’re both quiet for a few moments. You can hear his heart drumming loud in his chest.
“Wow,” he says suddenly. “We could have avoided a lot of stress if we realized earlier.”
You let out a snort of semi-hysterical laughter. “I know,” you agree, before pausing and wincing. “Oh god, I can't believe we've been… that we've been living together…”
“Yeeeahh… That's been torture by the way,” he says conversationally, as if he's discussing the weather, and your cheeks flare up.
“...Torture?”
He squeezes your side. “Are you kidding? Have you seen yourself every day? Every time you wear my jacket, or… anything? Wearing those hoodies on movie nights—”
“I get it,” you cut him off, your face absolutely burning. “I get it, I’m—”
“Stupid?” he offers helpfully. “Oblivious? Cute?”
“...You never said anything,” you say weakly in an attempt to defend yourself.
“I wasn't going to make things awkward,” he protests. “Can you imagine if I’d actually said anything and you just… what? Said no? And then we have to keep living together like normal?”
You bite your lip, trying to suppress the guilt stirring in your stomach. You can’t even begin to imagine what it's been like from his perspective.
“...Sorry.” You shift so you can actually look at him, but he won’t meet your eyes, his gaze fixed on the ceiling as he pouts.
“You really didn't notice?” he asks, finally looking at you. “Even a little?”
“No.” You feel a frustrated sort of laugh bubbling up. “We’ve been so stupid. We could’ve… we’ve wasted so much time, years—”
“Hey, hey,” he interrupts, seeing your expression, sitting up and gently placing his hand on your cheek, and you stop abruptly. “It doesn’t matter,” he says reassuringly. “We have time, okay? Plenty of time.”
You’re still struggling with the whole situation, trying to process everything as you stare at him. “But… we’re graduating.”
He gives you a small, unsure smile. “Yeah. We are.”
"And… I don't even know where I'm going. We could be—”
“Hey.” He cuts you off, placing a finger gently on your lips, and you bite your tongue, looking down at him. “Stop worrying so much. We’ll figure it out, okay?”
You try to take a deep breath and he leans forward until his forehead is touching yours.
Your mind is still racing, your entire universe is completely tilted, and you’re not entirely sure how to deal with any of it. But Felix is close and his hand is still on your cheek and…
And you want to focus on that instead, ignore everything else for now.
“Yeah?” you say weakly, your eyes fluttering shut.
“Yeah,” he says, his voice a little more firm, and he brings his other hand up to cup your face.
“For now,” he continues, his breath warm against your skin. “Let’s just…” He lets out an unsteady laugh, his hands still gently framing your face. “Can we just…”
Your entire body feels a little shaky. You lean forward a bit, closing the distance, and he sucks in a sharp breath.
“Yeah,” he breathes before slanting his mouth against yours.
It’s not very decorous. You’re both a little desperate, a little uncoordinated, trying to make up for years of lost time.
It’s messy and you can feel that he’s still a little nervous — as are you — but he's also determined. He pulls you closer, one of his hands sliding into your hair, tugging gently in a way that makes you gasp into his mouth.
Then he suddenly pulls back after a few moments, laughing when you whine pathetically in protest.
“Shh, hang on,” he says, slightly out of breath, and you open your eyes dizzily.
“...What?” you complain.
“Sorry,” he mutters. “I… I just remembered that I…”
You watch, utterly befuddled, as he pushes against your shoulders so he can sit up. He gently lifts you off of him, answering your whine of protest with a quick kiss before his hand drifts away from your face, reaching for his phone.
You try to grab at him. “What are you doing—”
He laughs and dodges out of your reach. “Just gimme a second,” he says, turning his phone on as he settles back on the bed.
You sit there, feeling dazed and frustrated as he taps at his phone, his attention focused on the screen. After a few moments, he finally seems to finish what he’s doing, putting his phone down with a satisfied hum.
When he meets your eyes, he just looks amused at your expression. “Sorry, sorry,” he says with a grin, moving closer to you again.
“What was so important,” you pout.
“I was meant to meet with my group mates for our project tonight,” he says. “So, I told them I'm feeling sick.”
Your eyebrows shoot up. “Felix.”
He has the audacity to just smile innocently, already shifting so he can push you down against the sheets.
“What?” he says casually, hovering over you, his hands coming to rest on your waist. “I wasn't gonna be able to focus anyways.”
“Oh.” You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks again. “Is… that really okay…?”
“Don't worry,” he says, leaning down and pressing a light kiss into your neck. “I practically carry them anyway, they can live without me for one night.”
You swallow, feeling his hands slide up your arms, his touch leaving a trail of sparks along your skin. “Okay,” you agree, completely distracted now, your thoughts hazy.
“Mhm.” He sucks on a sensitive spot on your collarbone and you let out a shaky exhale. “Can we focus on something else right now?”
You nod. He moves up to kiss you and you know, with him, you'll figure out whatever comes next.
For now, that's enough.
—
a/n: me, a mech eng major.. ofc i had to make felix a fellow engineer. nerds 4 life (do not study engineering i crave death every moment)
also yes title is the coldplay song bc im actually uncreative as hell and name everything after songs. how do ppl come up with titles (T_T) but anyway since it's one of felix's fav songs i thought it was especially fitting 🤍
tysm for reading 🫶
#how sappy can i possibly be#turns out. very#definitely not my best work but i think its ok and i wanted to just get the gears turning again!#officially out of rosy series era. how does it feel#skz fic#skz fanfiction#felix#felix smut#felix fic#felix fluff#felix fanfic#lee felix fluff#felix x male reader#skz felix#felix x reader#stray kids x reader#felix imagines#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#skz fanfic#lee felix#lee felix smut#lee felix fic#lee felix x reader
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Getting personal for a moment. But I feel it’s important to share, anyways.
When I was married, everyone in my life gaslit me to believe I was terrible with managing my money. Any personal expensive was noted as frivolous and wasteful. Bought some fabric for my hobby of dress-making with money I earned from a bonus?
That could have been used for the water bill next month!
Had a $1000 bonus? No. That’s for the house mortgage that he didn’t let my name exist on even though I paid for majority of the renovations because he was content letting the kitchen sit in disarray with thick dust in the air. Causing me to have severe allergy attacks every day.
Called off sick?
How could you? We have bills to pay!!!!
Go through extreme harassment at work?
No. You’re making it up. It’s an excuse to take a day off and relax.
Ignore the fact that he called off regularly because he had headaches while I was shamed into going to work despite having the flu.
Set up a joint account where only I contributed to put money in for bills to pay. Because he would pay from his account. Then he’d constantly drain the joint account for ‘bills’ and then spend his money on who even knows. We had 2 maxed out credit cards in his name.
But this was so normal to me. Because I grew up like this. I grew up with my ‘support system’ telling me this is normal. Telling me that I am the problem.
And I believed it.
I believed that everything that was wrong was me.
I didn’t know he was $7,000 in debt until our divorce where he was demanding I pay it off.
I never did find out what he used that money on. I suspect it was on his gaming addiction and my alleged ‘best friend’ he was sleeping with.
When I finally got out of that relationship, I was in financial ruin. I had nothing in my name. At 30.
I lost everything. (Except for the car that I begged for him to let me take and 3 of my 4 cats).
I lost the house I lived in for years. It was all in his name. There was nothing I could do about it. Because we were ‘only married for 3 years’ despite being together for 10.
I had no furniture to take with me. Save for a couch. That I couldn’t actually take because I had no place to go. I was couch surfing or sleeping in my car at this time.
I lost my dream job because my ‘friend’ worked there as well. And while they were beyond accommodating to my situation, I could no longer mentally handle being there nor could I handle the hour drive once I did find a place to live.
$1000 down on a new apartment.
Car broke down a month later. $1000 down on a new car.
Said car was stolen twice. Can’t even begin to tell you how much money that leeched out of my savings.
$23,000 (with health insurance) for surgery due to appendicitis.
All in a year after divorce.
It was defeating. It was so fucking hard.
In a span of a year I went through multiple life crises events. I can feel how it physically changed my ability to process information. In a way, I’ve become ‘dumber’ because of it. I can’t hold onto information. I have a hard time reading and staying focused.
Only reason I was able to even financially get through all of that was because I had some money saved from a lawsuit at the job that was harassing me that I wound up winning after the divorce. That and I finally caved in and got a credit card (my credit score was good) and a couple of personal loans.
I’m still paying it all off. It has been so fucking hard.
And I’ve been going through waves of hating myself for being so naive to feeling terrible for what I’ve been through because I didn’t see anything wrong with what I experienced as it was happening. And I’m finally coming to my own form of peace with this. But it was hard.
I had been with him for 10 years.
I don’t love easily. But I did love him. Even if I showed it in odd ways. I wouldn’t have married him, otherwise.
And then when everyone around me said I was the problem, I believed them.
Even now, I have an incredibly hard time understanding when I am truly in the wrong with a situation or if my reaction to things are justified.
I didn’t realize I was being put through mental and financial abuse by so many people around me.
I wish I could hug me from a few years ago and let them know they are so strong for going through all of this. But that they shouldn’t have had to be so strong for so long.
I wish I could hug every woman on the planet that has been through anything where they had to ‘be strong’ to survive while thinking it’s normal.
Baby, it’s not normal. You deserve so much more in this world.
You deserve your own freedom and a support system that values you and lets you know when you’re going through actual bullshit instead of painting you as the villain.
To all the women out there who go through these things; I love you. I see you.
maybe i’m a joyless bitch but i actually do NOT think it’s funny to see women being like “the house is just in my husbands name” or “my husband makes all the money” or “i don’t even know who our mortgage is with” or “the only bank account/credit card is his and i get an allowance” like i do NOT find that cute or romantic and i am begging these women to Stand Up. you should at least be named on the deed to your house and the title to your car and the bank accounts even if you don’t pay for them/earn all the money. you can’t stop existing in the eyes of the law and the credit unions simply because you have a husband. if you’re raising his children and washing his socks half of everything he’s got is yours and it needs to be yours LEGALLY BY NAME. "he takes such good care of me :)" girl you are a PRISONER!! that’s all
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Im craving for angst , so girl can you write about Hyun ju x female reader
Basically Hyun ju and female reader have been dating for 1 and half year now, but things didn't went so well after attending squid game, Hyun ju gave young mi more attention , than she did for female reader so she distance herself from Hyun ju and her team, wondering why female reader ditched her. So female reader went to Gi Hun's team instead. And to make things worse not only Hyun ju voted O to continue the game, but Hyun ju lost the love of her life during the Mingle, ANND.. It took Hyun ju 2 to 4 business days to figure out that she hasn't been a good girlfriend ever since they came to squid game and Hyun ju Crashes out so badly.
(Female reader committed su!cide during Mingle, died instead of young mi and the shaman lady predicted female reader's death)
(And YES the guilt is definitely eating Hyun ju alive)
Sorry if this is too long
Take your time for this one
゜・(/。\)・゜
Okayyyy complex, I like it! Hopefully I do this ask justice 🙏🏻
HER ANGEL
Pairing: Hyun-ju x femreader
Warnings: ANGST, depression, death, suicide, longing, survivors guilt.
Insecure. That was a word Y/n had always been familiar with. Ever since she was little. Her mother would criticize everything she did. If she ate too much, if she didn't eat enough. If her hair was down, if her hair was up. If she smiled, and if she didn't smile. Everything she did up until she was an adult was judged.
When she finally got the taste of freedom, moving out at the ripe age of eighteen, she discovered that the world was an ugly place. Nothing like how she fantasized how it would be. The books were wrong.
For the first few years after moving out, she was alone. Truly alone. She had no one. No friends to call late at night, no fuzzy kitten to cuddle when she had tears running down her face on a rainy day. No significant other who would whisper sweet nothings to her as she fell asleep... No one.
Not until she met her angel. Hyun-ju.
Everything had changed. For the first time in her life, Y/n felt like she deserved to take up space in the world. Hyun-ju made her feel wanted, loved. She erased every insecurity Y/n had. She loved every flaw and imperfection. She kissed her scars and wiped her tears.
Hyun-ju was her soul mate.
Y/n didn't care that her angel was different. She didn't care how people looked at them in public. Hyun-ju was perfect, in every way. Even if her angel couldn't see it for herself.
Hyun-ju told Y/n of her wishes for surgery. She had cried to Y/n about her debt and abandonment. And Y/n was there to comfort her in return, wiping her angels tears away and whispering promises.
So when a nice-looking man asked Y/n to play a game, showing her the money she would win, of course she agreed. For her angel, for Hyun-ju.
Y/n didn't need convincing to call the number on the back on the card. Once she saw Hyun-ju looking at herself in front of the mirror, her eyes filled with loathing, she dialed the number.
It was the least she could do. Hyun-ju had given Y/n her sense of self back. She had given Y/n her smile back. Of course, she would return the favor. Anything for her angel.
Waking up to the blasted music, she looked around to see other people. Waring the ugliest green she had ever seen. Looking down at herself, she saw her jacket was labeled 005.
She gathered around like everyone else. Waiting for an explanation. There were so many pink guards and even more players. They explained that they weren't trying to collect debt or cause any harm.
"Excuse me!" Said a voice. Not just any voice. Her angel's voice. Y/n quickly turned and saw Hyun-ju. Her Hyun-ju standing near a couple of bunks. She didn't catch what her angel said next, only focused on the fact that she was here.
Y/n winced as she saw Hyun-ju getting slapped. That was the day her angel had gone on a walk. She remembers her coming home, acting strange. Hyun-ju had met the salesman before Y/n did.
As all the players walked in single file lines up the colorful steps to get their pictures taken, Y/n looked around for Hyun-ju. Seeing her fixing her hair prettily, she smiles and quickly walks up to her. "Angel!" Y/n gushes.
Instead of greeting Y/n with a smile, Hyun-ju tenses. Asking her what she was doing here. "I know how much you need the money..." Y/n whispers softly, watching as Hyun-ju's eyes soften.
As they all walk into the first game, Hyun-ju holds Y/n's hand. "Don't separate from me, sweet girl. Okay?" Her angel asks softly. Y/n squeezes her hand in return.
"What is that?" Y/n asks, pointing to the giant doll like figure in the distance.
"Green light..."
Y/n quickly runs forward a few steps, then stops.
"Red light!" The doll waits, seeing if anyone would move.
The first to go was 196. Y/n stood, stiff as a board, the sound of people dying behind her. When the doll says green light, no one moves forward, but Hyun-ju reaches over and grips Y/n's hand.
Player 456 explains that they will die anyway if they don't cross the finish line in time, and so, she stays behind Hyun-ju, racing towards the finish line.
Once across, she watches in horror as her angel races back across to help player 456. This is the first and only time that Y/n has ever wanted to yell at Hyun-ju.
The second game is the six legged pentathlon. Her and Hyun-ju look around for more teammates. She notices Hyun-ju's fallen expression when people stare at her, and when they don't want to join because of her.
"Excuse me?" A timid voice says from behind the both of them. Y/n and Hyun-ju turn to see a small girl, obviously nervous. "W-Would you...like to team up with me?" She asks, looking at Hyun-ju first, then to Y/n.
Ever since then, Hyun-ju had been attached at the hip with Young-Mi. It was hard for Y/n not to notice, especially in a place like this. When she wanted comfort and reassurance from her angel, she would see that Hyun-ju was already comforting Young-Mi, that she was already whispering words of encouragement to her instead of Y/n.
But that was just who her angel was. She was kind to everyone, and Y/n had no right to take that away from Young-Mi. Y/n could clearly see how terrified the small girl was, and if Hyun-ju was her safe place, then who was Y/n to take that away from her?
That's was until Y/n heard it. What Hyun-ju was saying to Young-Mi.
"I won't let anything happen to you, sweet girl." Hyun-ju had said. Y/n felt her stomach drop. Sweet girl. That was Y/n's nickname. That was her word of endearment.
She decided to give them space. Joining player 456 and his team.
The third game was mingle.
As they all stood on the platform, Y/n watched as Hyun-ju held Young-Mi's hand, giving her soft smiles. Y/n felt horrible for feeling envious. Would she always be cursed to be this insecure? Would she ever feel content with anything?
"TEN"
The voice said. Everyone scrambled to find their groups and rooms. So far, their team had nine after joining Hyun-ju. Until her angel grabbed the crazy shaman lady.
Running into the green room, Y/n pants, not even bothering to look at her angel holding onto another woman. Hyun-ju gives her a confused look, wondering why she had left their group.
"Your heavy sorrow will swallow you whole." The crazy lady says, making everyone look at her. Y/n shrinks into herself as she realizes that she's talking to her. "You won't last much longer, I'm afraid. Pity. You have the purest birthstone."
"SIX" the voice says.
Gi-hun and Young-il had split from the group, leaving Y/n no other choice but to join Hyun-ju.
They all run to a yellow door, freezing in their tracks as they see a group is already in there. Hyun-ju races to find a different one.
She found one.
Y/n starts to run towards it with the other people in her group, but when she sees player 333 running towards it too, she slows down.
Looking over at her angel, she sees her clutching Young-Mi's hand.
The pregnant girl holds her belly.
The mother and sun cling to each other.
Where did Y/n fit into that? She didn't.
She has seen Jun-hee talking to player 333 on several occasions...
She needed him, more than any of them needed Y/n.
She made her decision then.
As player 333 races into the room, she finally hears Hyun-ju calling for her. Her angel was trying to get 333 out of the way.
Y/n walks to the door, looking into the small slit. "Y/n, what the hell are you doing? Go find a room! Go!" Hyun-ju shouts. Y/n only shakes her head softly.
"Ita okay angel." She whispers, putting her hands onto the door. Hyun-ju is starting to panic. The timer still had thirteen seconds on it. "I know there's no place for me here. Not now." Y/n says, tearing up.
Hyun-ju continues to shout, begging Y/n to go find a room. "You made me feel so inside the lines, Hyun-ju. Like I wasn't a lost shade outside of the pretty design. I could actually fit inside the art." Y/n says with a sad smile.
"I never thanked you for that." She says. "Thank you for showing me. For guiding me to see who I was for the first time."
Nine seconds on the timer.
"I know you'll be happy. You'll make it out of here and live the life you've always dreamed of...live the life you've always deserved. A life, with Young-Mi." Y/n's lip quivers.
Four seconds on the timer.
Hyun-ju starts shaking the door, sobbing and yelling. "I love you, my angel." She whispers tearfully, letting out a pained breath as she feels the bullet peirce her back.
"NO! Y/N!"
Player 333 had left that room beaten to a bloody pulp.
At first, Young-Mi's hand doesn't feel out of place instead of her own, not for the next two games.
Until Y/n's words repeat instead of her head.
A life...with Young-Mi.
Once she realizes it, she drops Young-Mi's hand as if it had burned her. She had been holding the wrong woman. Comforting the wrong woman. Calling her...
She had called the wrong woman sweet girl.
Hyun-ju looks over to Young-Mi, a tear falling. She had made the love of her life question her love.
She had been at fault for her sweet girl's death. Not 333. Not even the guards. Hyun-ju was the reason.
"Don't worry. You'll be seeing her again, " the shaman says. "A lot sooner than you think."
For the next game... was human chess.
I'm scared.... what do we think?
#squid game#squid game 2#cho hyun ju x reader#hyun ju x reader#cho hyunju#hyun ju#hyunju#cho hyun ju
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https://www.tumblr.com/topluvr/774755990647226368/husbandkwon-ji-yong-x-wifereader-headcanons-an?source=share
hey girly could you make a T.O.P version of this??
husband!choi seung-hyun x wife!reader headcanons
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e8a2cbd097640d5b1c02ea952c4edd64/83199d84949a22ff-71/s540x810/04b9e96c85208b6e592a21c63da6ba73263d3a54.jpg)
Warnings: fluff
★Reassuring your husband Seung-Hyun. You and Seung-Hyun were currently having a movie night, you loved having nights like this with him it doesn't happen often as you both are busy with work most of the time. You were both on the couch, your head resting against his shoulder and a blanket pulled over your bodies. Suddenly the movie was interrupted by a phone ringing, you sit up and see its Seung hymns phone. "Sorry baby I have to take this". He apologised kissing your lips before leaving the room. He returns 15 minutes later, his mood slightly changed which you noticed. "Everything okay?" You ask giving him a soft smile. "Yeah I urm got offered a role in a show." He replied quietly. "Thats amazing seunghyun." you smiled at the news, your smile slightly disappearing when your saw your husbands face. “Thats good news isn't it?" you say, he sighs and walks to sit back next to you on the couch. "Yeah its good but I don't think im going to accept it." He says looking up at you, You immediately knew why he was acting like this he always overthinks and he just doesn't think he deserves certain things. "Hey, stop overthinking you know you deserve this more then anyone, I think this is a perfect opportunity for you to get back into acting." You say reaching out to hold his hand in yours. "I know, its just I don't want anyone to be affected by my past." He confessed squeezing your hand. "Seung Hyun you've learnt from your mistakes and you have fans who support and love you so much, and I know they would love to see you acting again. As for the other people who can't let what you did go, you need to ignore them they just want to bring you down baby."
★Reacting to seung-hyuns new hair. You were currently finishing up cleaning the dishes, seunghyun was on his first day of set after years, he got a role to be apart of the squid game cast he’s been extremely nervous and at one point almost declined, but you reassured him and told him how proud you were that he took the opportunity. You heard the front door open. “sweetheart?” He spoke out. “I’m in the kitchen.” You said, you heard his steps come closer to the kitchen where you were washing the last couple of dishes. you heard his footsteps stop. “seunghyun?” You ask turning around. “close your eyes y/n i have a surprise.” He laughed, you close your eyes and wait for him. “okay their closed.” You giggle, You hear his foot steps come into the kitchen where he eventually made his way over to you. “okay open.” He finally spoke out, you open your eyes and gasp when you see his hair, his own natural color now replaced with a bright purple. “Wow, i love it.” You say reaching your hand out to put your fingers through it. “really? it’s for my new role.” He smiled relaxing into your touches. “mhm it’s really hot.” You smirk causing him to let a small chuckle. “Thank you baby.” He said pulling you closer to him by your waist, he smiled at you before connecting his lips to yours.
★Your husband Seung Hyun making you taste test his wine. Seunghyun was currently placing 4 boxes of wine on the counter in front of you. He recently decided to start up a wine company, you supported him all the way through it and you are so proud of him. So today he wanted you both to taste test the wines. “Thank you for helping me with this baby, and for being my wine taste tester.” He smiled pulling two wine glasses from the kitchen cabinet. “I won’t say no to free wine.” You giggle watching him open and pour the first bottle of wine. Once the glasses were to the same amount seunghyun gave you a glass, You thanked him and downed the whole glass quickly. “Aish y/n, calm down you’re meant to savour the flavours.” He said with a serious tone, you laugh at his tone. “Oops”. After he finished his wine he opened the second bottle and poured the wine into the glasses again. “This one is more fruity and sweet.” He explained taking a sip and letting it stay in his mouth for a few seconds before swallowing. You followed his actions taking a smaller sip then last time, you swirled the wine around your mouth pretending to be professional, Seunghyun laughed at your actions. “so how is it?” He asked with raised eyebrows waiting for you to reply. “I really like this one, it’s my favourite so far.” you smiled taking another sip. After you tried every wine with seunghyun you were now slightly tipsy. “I’m so proud of how far you’ve come seunghyun.” You told your husband, he laughed at your drunken words. “Thank you sweetheart, i think you’ve had a bit too much wine.” His hand came to your face gently stroking it. “It’s your fault.” You pouted looking into his eyes, his eyes meet yours and he leaned in to press a peck on your nose.
A/N: HII THANK YOU SM FOR THE SUPPORT ON MY LAST POST❤
#t.o.p bigbang#t.o.p x reader#choi seunghyun#seunghyun x reader#top x reader#headcanon#fluff#squid game
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There's been a lot of discussion lately about when will Eddie come out and when Buddie canon will happen. I think a lot more people are feeling optimistic that it actually will happen now so the conversation has shifted into people being worried how this is all going to play out. I've seen people saying that if Eddie comes out and Buddie is fully confirmed this season (i.e. they confess their feelings/ there's a kiss) that would be way too fast. I have some issues with that line of thinking though.
For starters after Buck came out in season 7 we had a lot of new people join fandom (even more join during the summer hiatus), which I'm glad for all the new people who have found 911 particularly because the majority are now rooting for Buddie. Still I feel like a lot of the newer fan's opinions (on this topic) are being heard over some of us who have been in fandom for years.
I'm not saying if you're a newbie that your opinions on the show don't matter but I do think you should take the time to listen to those of us who have been around longer. The fact is if us long time Buddie fans hadn't been rooting for this ship for years we wouldn't even be as close to them becoming canon as we are. Buck likely wouldn't have had his bi awakening if not for us either. We've supported the show and pushed them for years to give these characters the storylines they deserve. That should matter when you're talking about something like how and when Buddie canon will happen.
I understand that people want Buddie to get together in just the right way but I think we all need to realize there is no one right way this will happen. We need to make peace now before it happens that there will be things about them coming together we won't expect even things we may not exactly like. All that matters is they finally get to take their relationship to that next level. That both Buck and Eddie get to realize their person their soulmate has always been right beside them. The other mains have had their person for years it's beyond time for Buck and Eddie to (consciously fully) have that too.
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I've seen people say that Eddie deserves a long journey to figuring out his sexuality and he needs to work on his mental health before being with Buck. And while I do think Eddie deserves more focus and screen time I don't see 911 doing a long drawn out thing with him. 911 typically does smaller 1-3 ep arcs for their characters. There's also the fact that they've been dropping hints for Eddie's coming out these past two seasons. Ones I'm positive they will connect back to other things throughout the series, like why it never worked out with him in his relationships with women.
I'm also personally not a fan of the logic that someone needs to do all these things to change themselves to be ready for love. Buck and Eddie have seen each other through their best and their worst. The show has literally made it a point to tell you that's what love is on numerous occasions. They said that love is about stepping into someone's mess with them. Why is it that Bobby didn't need to be a perfect person before he was worthy of Athena's love? Go back and watch season 1 Bobby was not in a good place when they got together. He was getting better but he was still struggling and up until the end of the season was still thinking about ending his life. But we see Athena "step into the mess" with him. She starts by going to church with him and we see them in s2 (early on in their relationship) talk about his past at different times.
I just feel like this fandom sometimes holds Eddie to unfair standards. He's been struggling for the past couple of seasons but I honestly think we're going to find out in 8b that it's connected to him having not felt able to live his truth. We saw in 806 that Eddie is starting to embrace joy and taking steps to fully be himself. That he's starting even in small ways to take ownership of what he wants and doing things for himself not because he feels obligated to.
I think him going back to Texas is not just to get Chris but the shows way of giving him a rebirth of sorts. They're bringing him back to where he's from and it's where I think Eddie is going to realize who he is and what he wants (Buck) and that him and Chris don't belong in Texas they belong in LA with Buck and the rest of their found family. And this time Eddie will get to make the decision to leave not based on fear or desperation or running away from his life but based on knowing where he truly belongs.
I know there's also a worry that if Eddie comes out in 8b it will feel rushed but the length of the story being told shouldn't be the main concern it should be how well the show tells it.
They could have him realize his feelings for Buck (because I do think him figuring out his sexuality is going to be tied to that) while he's still in Texas. That could be one whole episode just Eddie (like they did for Bobby in s7) or have it play out over a few eps. Then Eddie comes home and Buddie canon happens by the end of s8. I also feel like people are forgetting we have quite a few eps for 8b left to go so it's not like Eddie coming out and Buddie canon are both going to happen in 1 or 2 eps right after the other. It's very likely Eddie realizing his feelings will happen earlier and Buddie canon will happen in one of the last eps of the season.
Also even if they have Eddie come out in one ep that doesn't mean it's the end of him ever talking about his sexuality or facing any struggles with it. We haven't seen Buck facing much struggle when it comes to his sexuality but I think it will be different with Eddie. Even if Buddie officially get together in s8 in s9 we could still see things like Eddie having mixed feelings over being out especially when it comes to stuff like pda. Maybe we could even see Eddie talking to the priest again. Eddie coming out and Buddie canon happening doesn't mean it's the end of Eddie's sexuality journey it's just the beginning.
Like I said before we need to make peace that every part of these stories isn't going to make everyone happy but I think the last thing we should be doing when Eddie comes out and Buddie canon happens is look for reasons to criticize the show for how it happens. They will inevitably receive hate from bummys and people who will accuse them of making the show too gay. We can't add to that by complaining that a storyline didn't happen in a perfect way. If they actually finally go there with these characters we need to celebrate the show and be louder with our praise than any bs they'll get.
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On the subject of Buddie I've seen people say that if they confess their feelings for one another by the end of 8b it will feel rushed that the general audience won't get what's happening because the show hasn't set the groundwork for their relationship. I feel like I'm seeing this argument more from newer fans which I guess makes sense because to you it probably does seem like everything is moving fast. But for those of us who have watched Buck and Eddie's relationship develop over years and years this has all been a long long time coming in fact it's beyond overdue.
Some of you need to remember that Buck was supposed to come out in s4 (the shooting was likely to be the catalyst to him realizing his feelings for Eddie) and Eddie in s5 which means Buddie canon was likely to happen that same season. How can s8 be too soon when they were supposed to get together three seasons ago? They have literally been through almost everything Madney and Bathena have been through or some variation thereof. If Buck and Eddie were a straight couple they would have been married already. Buck and Eddie have spent 7 years building their relationship. Building a life and family together. Them finally admitting they're in love with each other is simply the natural progression their relationship should be taking from best friends (that have always been more than friends) to lovers. I think another reason people question if it's too fast for this to happen in s8 is because a queer couple like this has never happened on a show like 911 before. There's been plenty of slow burn straight couples. Which is why I'm positive if Buck and Eddie were a guy and a girl there wouldn't be this big debate over if it should happen now, people would be saying what the hell is this show even doing? Why haven't they kissed already?
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A big point about all of this that I feel like is being left out of the discussions is that 911 is made in the US and is first and foremost made for US audiences. I bring this up because as someone who is from the states it's very apparent there's a huge uprising of anti lgbtq rhetoric and legislation here right now. I know it probably seems unfathomable to some people that the US government could do something like ban lgbtq people from TV but there's already been pushes to ban things like lgbtq books on a state level so it could happen. But what is more likely is networks and companies have already started to capitulate to trump to protect themselves and their money. We have no way of knowing how bad things will continue to get with trump and how a network like ABC will behave in the future. We don't have the luxury to sit back and say let's wait until s9 or 10 for Buddie to officially get together when there's no certainty of what will even be happening in the US by the time those seasons are made.
Connected to that same topic of what's going on not just in the US but in other countries too. This attack on lgbtq rights means it's more important than ever for Buddie to finally be together. I know that 911 has always had queer characters and ships and they should always be respected for the important representation they've given on the show since day one (particularly characters like Henren and their family) but Buck and Eddie are ground breaking in a way we really haven't seen on TV before. Two men who are best friends and who have come out later in life. Who have fallen for each other over years of building their relationship. Who have spent years raising their son together. Who are an interracial couple. Buck and Eddie in a loving relationship together as a family with Chris is vital representation the world needs to see right now. That lgbtq people need to see. We need to see more depictions of queer joy in the face of all of this hate.
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I see people keep pushing back the time frame of when Buddie should officially get together when we were in s7 people were saying s8 now I've seen them say s9, I've even seen some people recently say s10. I need some of you to realize 911 is a network TV show and that this isn't the golden age of TV anymore. TV shows get canceled left and right sometimes for no reason at all. 911 itself was canceled from Fox after s6 not because no one was watching it but because Fox felt it was too expensive to make. 911 is a super successful show one that will likely go on to it's 9th season and that's an amazing thing when a lot of shows now barely even make it past like two seasons. But because 911 is so many seasons in and is so costly not just to make but also for the cast that means there's always a risk that it could get canceled again. I hope that 911 goes on for at least 10 more seasons but we can't guarantee that at all. The more we push Buddie back the more we run the risk of them not happening at all.
The other thing is I don't want Buddie canon happening at the end of their last season. I want to see how Buck and Eddie's relationship develops and changes once they're officially together. I want to see all the good and bad stuff they go through like moving in together and telling everyone (especially Chris). I want to see how their parents react. How that changes things for them at work. They deserve to have an epic love story just as grand as any of the other main couples have had.
To add to the point of us not knowing how long the show may go on for we also have no idea how long all of the actors plan to stay with the show. I'm not sure how long the contracts they've all signed are for at this point but they've all been with the show a very long time. It's clear they all love working together and I can't see any of them giving that up right now but that could change. We're lucky that Oliver and Ryan have continued to stay with the show after this many years but we can't guarantee they will stay forever. Eventually they could want to go off and work on something else or just get tired of playing the same character. The fact is everything is in the right place at the right time for Buddie canon to happen now. It has to happen now or it may not happen at all.
Also as much as some of you want them to drag out Buck and Eddie getting together I think you underestimate how long the fanbase is willing to hang on for. Like I said some of us have been waiting for Buddie to happen for years we're tired. I almost stopped watching the show after s6 I was that fed up with how they handled things. I'm positive if something doesn't change by the end of s8 that there are people who will stop watching.
I know some have said they want to see Buck and Eddie realizing their feelings and going into s9 pinning. I don't think the show needs to drag out their will they/won't they any longer. I've seen some people say well Buddie hasn't really had a will they/won't they because it wasn't explicit in the show. Buck and Eddie have never been written as just friends. Go compare them to Chim and Hen's friendship. There has always been more there between them always. Again if this was a straight couple people would be complaining constantly wondering why they weren't together yet. They don't have to be kissing for it to be a slow burn. They've done everything but though. I mean what do you call that scene in the kitchen in 3x09? Eddie literally put Buck in his will. He told Buck he trusts him above anyone else with Chris. Buck sobbed when he knew Eddie was going to be okay after he was shot (he's never reacted that way over anyone else on the show getting hurt). Eddie counted the seconds when Buck wasn't breathing. These two men love one another they just haven't admitted it yet.
We don't need more time to tell this story. 911 hasn't always gotten it right (see the weird Vertigo story) but when it's good it can be fcking amazing. The shooting eps are some of my fav eps of tv ever and not just of 911. I have faith in Tim and the show. Tim has wanted to put Buck and Eddie together for a long time and I know he knows he only has one chance to tell this story and get it right. I have faith that him and the actors and writers will do the story justice however it gets told. I know they know it means a lot to so many people. And you know the truth is we're lucky that our ship is even at this point. That we can all debate about how Buddie canon should happen because we're all so sure now that it is in fact happening. Cause the show was very close to ending on a finale that had Buck and Eddie ending up with other partners. Buddie would have only been able to continue to live on in fanon. Instead I truly believe we are months away from the show making history.
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injury prompt 16 and 22 for reid perhaps... :D Love your writing btw <3
make my heart beat again / spencer reid
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/127e76dcc7866b70c7322d4a9b85dd38/1da2484df6f4ed1b-d7/s540x810/c4893adf030a262b1c8c0fae7b8cee4637104c6d.jpg)
summary. spencer was sad. spencer was miserable. he thought he could handle it until he couldn't anymore. he thought he could deal with it alone until he couldn't.
words count. 2 249
prompt. “Why won’t you let me help you?” “…because I don’t deserve it.” / “You deserve to be helped, I—who told you this?” from here
what to expect. very angsty, spencer is so sad i want to hug him, i chose the mentally injured more than physically, mention of murder very quickly
a/n. ok first thank you so much for requesting it sweetie!! and i'm sorry, i wish i posted it sooner but i started it again to make it shorter and...it's not shorter, but it's here and i hope you will love it (and now i can work on your other request) 🫶
F1 masterlist | general masterlist | request
You weren’t quite sure how everything started again with Spencer.
One day he was a memory of the past, one of your biggest regrets. The next time he was back in your place, like he always belonged there.
You went on a couple of dates a few years ago, and it would be a lie to say your heart didn’t fall for that boy. Sweet, gentle, the nicest man you’ve ever met. And so beautiful with his always so messy hair, his gorgeous brown eyes that always seemed to look at you like you were one of the seven wonders of the world, and that perfectly shaped mouth that you loved to kiss.
You were sure things could have worked out with Spencer if a) his work didn’t take him that much time—and more. b) You didn’t have other issues in your life you had to deal with before thinking about love.
So you ended your relationship, or whatever it was at that time, before it could be more serious. And you spent way too many nights missing Spencer Reid.
The way he would start every date with a fact that could either last a minute or ten and how you could notice the change in his eyes when he noticed you were truly interested in what he was saying. How he was blushing at any physical contact you were initiating, even in bed after he made love to you. Or even how you never said you loved each other, yet the way his lips would stay longer on your shoulder when you were falling asleep was speaking for your feelings.
You never thought Spencer would miss you just as much.
But he spent months contemplating the idea of seeing you again and trying to convince you this could be good. That he could be good for you. But months turned into a year. And when he celebrated his whole single year on the other side of the country, Spencer read into it that maybe he had glorified love. In all its aspects.
And this conclusion haunted him for years.
To the point Spencer stopped meeting new people and was barely trying to stay in touch with those in his life. He wasn’t seeing his mom much; his colleagues noticed the distance he was building between them, and Spencer couldn’t remember the last time he saw his “friends.”
Because at some point, the fear of losing people turned into a feeling of not being good enough to people’s lives and made him a loner. A sad loner.
That was something you immediately noticed the first time you saw Spencer in years.
Your life has barely changed from your last date. Still the same job, but at a higher place. Still the same apartment, but with a different setting. Still the same person, but more mature.
It wasn’t hard for Spencer to find you. And if he spent a whole year contemplating going back to your place before putting that thought away, the day he truly needed it, it took him a minute to decide it was time.
You didn’t question his presence here when you opened the door. Maybe he should have. But when Spencer grabbed your face after you simply said his name with confusion, nothing seemed to matter.
Not his hair longer than before, not him looking more shaped yet more fragile, not the circle under his eyes being way darker than the last time you saw him. Not that he was eagerly kissing you, something he never did.
You remember Spencer being gentle, taking his time to appreciate every second with you.
No, he was hungry, like each second could be the last with you. For him.
“What are you doing here, Spence?” you finally asked him. You were both lying on the rug in your living room. His eyes were locked on the roof, like he was disconnecting from reality. His arm around your back, holding you against him, was brushing your skin slowly, but he seemed to do that mindlessly.
And Spencer didn’t turn his head to look at you when you, you couldn’t stop looking at him. “I needed that.” Not you. You put away the pain hearing that and tried to see the good in this, that you were the one he went to.
But still, something was different with Spencer.
It would take you a few nights to realize he wasn’t blushing anymore when you touched him. Or that he didn’t seem to have a lot to talk about.
Actually, Spencer wasn’t talking much anymore.
For weeks, Spencer would come to your place at night. Either after a day at the office or when he came back from a case. Usually, when it was the latter, he would even stay the following day to fully decompress from what happened.
You tried to question him once or twice. But Spencer always had the same answer: going down on you to keep you quiet with your question.
It was a win-win situation.
He was giving you pleasure and making you think about something else.
He was concentrating on something else, and your moans were filling his head with other thoughts.
Until one night, the sex wasn’t enough to put his problem away.
You didn’t expect Spencer to come. Two days ago, he told you he had to leave for a case and it would probably last a week. Nothing out of the ordinary. But it gave you the time to think about him and where this was going.
Yet, your bell rang at 10 p.m. Let’s say that dating an FBI agent taught you to not open your door to anybody. You almost played dead and ignored it. But your gut told you to look at who it might be.
You didn’t expect to see Spencer through your spyhole.
You certainly didn’t expect to see him cry on the other side of your door.
“Spencer, what’s going on?” you said, opening your door and immediately bringing him inside. The saddest part was that he let you do it. He didn’t stop you when you took him in your arms. Neither when you brought him to the sofa and sat him on it while you kneeled in front of him.
He was shaking; his face looked red from the tears and the scratching he did with his fingers, trying to take the pain away. But it didn’t work. And hurt him even more.
You grabbed one of his hands to take it away from his face. You tried to ease his joints with a soft caress. You even tried to make eye contact, but it was a lost cause with the way he was closing his eyes hardly, probably hurting himself like that. “Talk to me, Spence,” you whispered, putting your chin on his knee. “Open to me.”
You hated how he pinched his lips together before talking, like he was trying so hard to not break down. “I can’t,” he sobbed. He repeated that multiple times, sounding more angry with himself each time.
But the fact he wasn’t letting go of your hand made you believe that maybe a part of him, maybe just a very little one, wanted to have you. He still came to you tonight, right?
“Why won’t you let me help you?”
This was a genuine question. One that grew over the last weeks. Sometimes, you would wake up in the middle of the night wondering which signs you might have missed when he was here. What did he try to hide from you with kisses and attention that you weren’t asking for? And if maybe you weren’t an accomplice of his troubles by accepting all his treats, knowing it was an excuse to keep everything from himself.
And during these moments, you imagined what Spencer might have answered. That he didn’t want his burden to impact your relationship, that he didn’t want to talk to you specifically.
But you never considered what was coming as an answer.
“…because I don’t deserve it.”
The world went silent.
Except for your heart that just fell on the floor and broke into a million pieces.
Except for Spencer’s sorrow being louder than ever in your small living room.
It was obvious that Spencer wasn’t doing ok. But you couldn’t imagine how broken he really was.
You couldn’t force him to look at you and make him see he wasn’t alone at all. So you put your forehead against his, his sweaty hair sticking against your skin. Your arms wrapped against Spencer so you could hold him against him. You couldn’t believe that this grown-up man, in his thirty, could be a broken kid inside. You tried to hold back the tears.
You stayed like that for minutes; you don’t even know how long. This could last an hour or two if he needed to. You probably could have stayed all night if it meant calming Spencer down.
Little by little, you felt his shaking stop and even one of his hands land on your arm. The pressure of his fingers on your skin wasn’t harder, almost like he didn’t have any strength anymore. It was more like a delicate touch. One that reminded you of the old days, when Spencer was too shy to touch you.
Once you felt he was ready to hear this, maybe not listen yet but at least be able to understand what you were saying, you stopped hugging him so you could grab his face in your hands. “You deserve to be helped. I—who told you this?”
You met the saddest eyes you’ve ever seen at this moment. Couple with his sad smile. Oh, how you wished you could just kiss the pain away for once.
“I just…” he started, with a grazed, hoarse voice. “Every person in my life ends up sad or hurt or dead. I’m a problem. I’m a burden. I don’t deserve someone to take the time to help me, be there for me. I can’t risk someone, you, taking the time to make me feel better if it means losing you at some point. I can’t, I can’t do that again.” You heard the sob in his voice at the end.
You opened your mouth to speak, but Spencer gave you the look, one he strangely never gave to you but that you understood immediately, meaning that he still had a lot to say. And deep down, you were happy to shut it if it meant he was finally opening up.
“I was taking care of a kid these days. We knew he might be in danger, so I was supposed to make sure he would be fine while working the case.” Spencer took a moment to continue, but you could only focus on the tear running down his cheek. “He got killed. Because I couldn’t protect him. Everyone around me has something bad happening to them. Even in my job. How can I be such a bad person?”
You started brushing away the tears with your thumb, but Spencer cuddled against your hand. There was something even sadder with this man feeling like he didn’t deserve to have someone yet still craving every attention he could get.
“You’re not a burden, Spencer,” you whispered, and he closed his eyes again. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you to go through all these moments by yourself. I can’t imagine how hurt you must be from living such difficult times over and over again. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to have someone by your side.”
He didn’t answer. You weren’t sure this was the best decision, but you sat on his knees, trying to be closer to him so you could make him feel less alone.
You thought that if he didn’t want that, he would push you away. But the way Spencer's hands ended up on your back so quickly made you think that maybe he needed that too.
“I can’t and won’t force myself into your life, Spencer, never,” you said, brushing his hair away from his face. “But if you’re ready to try, I can be by your side and help you consider that you deserve to be a supporter. Not only by me but by all the people that love you.”
Again, your words working on him, Spencer opened his eyes slowly. This time, even if the sorrow was still present, there was the smallest and almost slightest light in them. “Because people love you, Spencer Reid.”
As an answer, the only one he could give you, Spencer brought you against him and hugged you as hard as he could. It wasn’t the tightest hug he ever gave, but it was the best he could do. And it was enough. Enough to know that you opened a door in his mind.
You offered your bed to Spencer that night, but he insisted on you staying by your side. He refused to let you know it was due to the fear of the nightmares he had for months now. Nightmares that always had different stories but ended the same way: with him losing someone and being alone.
All he needed was you, and you were willing to give yourself entirely to help him get better.
You didn’t know if you imagined it, but you were sure that when he was falling asleep, holding you against him like an antistress comforter, Spencer thanked you.
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid angst#Matthew Gray Gubler#Matthew gray gubler imagine#matthew gray gubler x reader#Matthew gray gubler x you#Matthew gray gubler x fem!reader#criminal minds#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds story#msg#mgg x reader#my writing
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you and sirius never discussed it out loud, but you both knew that you didn’t want to have kids after everything that happened in the last 13 years.
it wasn’t always like that, though (contrary to popular belief). he could faintly remember back then when both of you were still studying in hogwarts that you’d open the prospect of having children with him and having a family someday—and sirius, although scared to death at the thought of ever raising kids his own when he didn’t even grow up with good parents himself, was amicable with the idea if it meant that he’d see little versions of you running around in your future home.
but then he was imprisoned for 12 years, and that was 12 years of not spending every single day with you, of not waking up in bed beside you, of not being able to share meals, of not being able to do the most normal things that young couples did in their twenties… of not being able to propose, of getting married, of having a family together…
so, when he came back and got his name cleared by the ministry, all he wanted was to make up for that lost time. you and him were already 37 years old after all, and although it wasn’t relatively old, he still felt like both of your years ahead would never be enough to compensate for what has been taken—making the prospect of having kids and having to think of someone else other than yourselves unappealing.
until one night, he decided to make a bold step in knowing whether you two were truly on the same page like he was assuming. you never told him about your opinion regarding it, but in the way you were with him after his return, he could feel it in his bones that you didn’t want to focus on anything else other than your rekindled relationship with each other.
but he just had to make sure.
“darling,” he murmured, as you two were trying to fall asleep, his arms around you while your nose was nuzzling his throat, “do you… still ever think about having children?”
you raised your head up almost immediately, meeting his gaze. “what’s with the question?”
“nothing. it’s just that—it’s something we used to talk about. ages ago, really.”
“yeah, it was.” your eyebrows furrowed slightly, as if you were trying to recall the times you did talk about it. “we used to plan that we’d buy a flat in london and live in a muggle city, just to piss your parents off further.”
he chuckled. “we did.”
“and we’d have two kids. one girl and one boy.” you smiled, faintly remembering now.
sirius nodded. “they’d both should have my eyes—”
“and then have the rest of my features, with the nose being a requirement.” you finished for him, saying the exact line he used to tell you back then.
the two of you laughed at the memory, fascinated at how the teenage mind works when you’re in love. at that age, you always felt invincible, like nothing could ruin the plans that you and your lover have made for yourselves. you would always believe that everything would go smoothly and that happily-ever-after was right next door, never ever thinking that adulthood could potentially drive you crazy or in this case, a dark wizard was going to try to seize control over your people.
when the laughter died down, you gazed deeply at each other, understanding that just as the times have changed—so have the circumstances and ultimately, your decision.
you ran your fingers on the side of his head, combing parts of his hair, admiring the manner in which his face showed nothing but quiet contentment.
“maybe in another life,” you began, voice coming out as a whisper, “we’d have those things. we’d have kids, and have a big home, but right now…” you leaned closer and pressed your forehead against his, savoring the proximity you once longed for in thousands of nights. “i’m happy with just the two of us. with you, sweetheart.”
sirius smiled and nodded, a hand gently rubbing along the expanse of your back, tugging you closer. “me too, love.” he sighed. “me too.”
with no other words needed to be spoken, you pressed a brief yet firm kiss on his lips before sinking back in your previous position, embracing him and nestling in his arms, knowing that even an eternity of making up for what fate had stolen would never feel enough.
gentle reminder: this author loves feedback! let her know your thoughts if you enjoyed reading this fic and you’ll add 100+ points in her writing motivation meter ♡
#𖧧 .˚ ⋅ sirius brainrot!#sirius black x reader#sirius black#sirius black imagines#sirius black drabbles#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter imagines#marauders#marauders imagines#marauders fanfiction#mauraders drabbles#marauders scenarios#sirius black scenarios#sirius black x you#sirius black x y/n#sirius black fanfiction#harry potter drabbles
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dray the crisis is hitting again can I get yandere mad scientist and their also mad scientist reader who loves experimenting with them? Thank u!!
Omgeee my first yandere ask, thank you sm!! Hope you like it, it kinda went all over the place (much like the couple lol)
Ever since Yandere!Mad Scientist was a boy the twisted darkness of scientific exploration spoke to the depths of his soul. He carried it with him throughout his childhood and the so-called deranged experiments he would conduct on the neighborhood animals.
When you, the new neighbor’s child, cried over the loss of your cat, Yandere!Mad Scientist felt something shift inside of him for the first time in his few years on this earth. He wondered briefly if this is what his parents meant when referring to emotion. He wanted… more of this strange sensation. He also wanted to use his gifts for someone else for a change. Another first your presence has given him.
He knew you would appreciate the gift that resulted from his experiment, and appreciate him, even when no one else ever has. Something in him told him you would understand. He didn’t believe in fate or destiny, no, he believed in cold hard facts and science. But perhaps in this one exception… it was your soul calling out for him. It had to be. Who was he not to answer?
The moment you throw open the gift box in your family’s living room to reveal your cat’s moving head on a mechanical body and your joyous squeals mingle with your parents horrified screams, he knew. The way you marveled at his accomplishment as you hugged your cat close before your parents tore it away from you in terror.
He knew you were meant to be his. And someday when he wasn’t so little and you weren’t under the control of your parents, you would be. By the possessive look you flash him as your parents usher him out and threaten to call the cops, he knows you have the same idea.
As you both continued to age, Yandere!Mad Scientist’s experiments only got more complex and dangerous. Though now you were right there by his side, driving his theories down even darker avenues. Your creative mind just as twisted as his, if not more so. Your genius unparalleled.
Of course, a series of strategic maneuvers had to be set in place every time you both snuck away to meet up given your parents had permanently banned you from seeing ‘the freak kid next door.’ They still hadn’t gotten over the little cat incident. The fact that you kept the cat alive to this day probably not helping them move on either.
But nothing could keep you away from each other. He was yours and you were most definitely his. With your work together you two would take control of the world and destroy anyone who tried to get in the others path. They were all of inferior minds to you two, they had no right to deny you what rightfully belonged to you and him.
No one would be able to touch you or keep you from him again. It was only a matter of time.
When you and Yandere!Mad Scientist got to college it was the real first taste of freedom either of you had ever had. He thought that this was it. You two would never be separated from now on. He’d be in an off campus apartment with you after school and during school you two would have all the same classes.
But then you have to go and betray him, doing the worst thing imaginable. Choosing a different major than him. While he had gone the expected path— the correct one— of a Science Major. You had chosen… Psychology. It was possibly the first time in his entire life that Yandere!Mad Scientist had been furious at you. You wouldn’t believe how tempted he was to handcuff you to him so you’d be forced to always remain by his side
He was actually searching online for a good sturdy pair the night you came to him asking for help with a project, the first you two had spoken in days following the fight you had about it. And that’s when he learns of your true motivations, the reason behind your desire to be a… Psych major of all things.
You see, you had started working on a memory control device that would surely help your plans for world domination. Of course, he immediately agreed to working on this with you. You two had never worked separately since you met and he wasn’t about to start now. Only he was allowed to know the inner workings of your mind, to understand the way your genius wove its clever webs. He was the only one who ever understood you and that would remain true for as long as he had a say about it.
Together, the work on your project progressed rapidly. The two of you working on it day and night. It was a little tricky, given you two only shared a few classes together where you’d pass flirtatious notes filled with complex algorithms. But he made do.
Though as you learned more from your classes and began applying them to the device, something started feeling… off about it all. More algorithms were attempted that he doesn’t remember running, beakers he doesn’t recall turning on were left running till they overflowed, and days seemed to pass him by where it felt like he had done absolutely nothing despite your excited rambling on the progression of the project.
One night, as you two are cleaning up from that night’s experiments, he comes across one of his many notebooks. Buried deep under a dozen others just like it. But this one has a book mark with an arrow pointing down saying ‘Read me.’ On the marked page lays a whole series of numbers and formulas he’s never even seen before in his one handwriting. With a sticky note at the top reading ‘Forget Something?’
He reads through what appears to be his work over and over again. No, this can’t be real. He never did any of this, it’s impossible. But as he watches the formulas grow more successful with each equation, realization dawns on him. It is possible. He just lost his memory of it. He looks up, eyes instantly catching onto your form across the room just as you look back up at him.
That playful smirk and mischievous glimmer in your eye that he loves so much. It’s as clear as day. As is what you’ve been doing to him. His lips curl into a mirroring expression and you just laugh, returning your gaze to your work.
Ah, so that’s how you want to play it, huh? That’s more than fine by him. He can play it right back to ya. To show you that his brain is all yours for fucking around with, so long as you’re his to do the same.
The next time you come to, the pair of you are sitting in an unfamiliar lecture hall. The teacher droning on about a topic you can’t really hear. Still half-asleep with your head resting on your arms.
“Wakey wakey, darling,” he murmurs in your ear, hand petting your head affectionately. You look too cute all groggy and disoriented as you slowly wake up from the device’s effects. He understands why you used it so much on him. Seeing you like this was absolutely irresistible.
You groan, eyes scrunching up tight. Your head feeling like it weighs about a metric ton and your eyes begging to remain closed forever. You open them anyway, lashes fluttering as you try and focus in on your surroundings. The lecture hall is completely unfamiliar to you. And given the stone walls, you’re in a completely different department.
“W-where am I?” You ask, voice slightly slurred from misuse.
He is having too much fun watching you. It’s wild seeing the device be used and the impacts it has on its users. He briefly wonders if you’ll forget all about this feeling just as he had. He cups your chin with a surprising tenderness, slowly bringing your attention back on him.
“Don’t you remember, dear? You decided to transfer into the Science department. Now, we’ll be together in all our classes. Just like you wanted,” he rumbles, his voice like a hypnotic lullaby as his thumb soothingly caresses your jaw.
It takes a moment for you to break through the comforting haze of his touch so his words can register. Your brows furrow deeply, having no memory of leaving your previous major. The words begin to repeat in your head, echoing and pounding against your skull.
Remember.
He can the moment clarity begins to dawn on you. Your eyes losing that dazed effect to them. He practically watches as you put the pieces together, realizing what must’ve happened just like he did. Though he has to give you props for how fast you realized. Your genius only made him fall harder for you, want even more of you.
But when you burst out into a fit of quiet giggles, your eyes lighting up with pride, he can feel the strings you have wrapped around his heart grow impossibly tighter. It was that pride in your work, pride in the success of the device, and even pride in him for managing to get one on you.
Your laughter is infectious and soon he’s laughing right along with you in the lecture hall, leaning in close and marveling at what you two can do when you put your minds to it.
He looks into your eyes, his hand sliding to cup your cheek and holding you like you’re the most the precious thing in the world to him. And just like back when you were kids, with one look he knows what you’re thinking.
That there is nothing better than experimenting with each other. In every way possible.
#yandere#yandere love#yandere romance#yandere scenarios#yandere concept#yandere content#yandere oneshot#yandere fic#yandere imagines#yandere drabble#yandere fluff#yandere male#yancore#yan core#yanderecore#yandere core#yandere original character#yandere oc#mad scientist#mad science#yandere stories#yandere darling#yandere boy#yandere bf#yandere scientist#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x y/n#yandere x darling#yandere x yandere
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february 7 @ rangers, 3-2 win
NEITHER of them playing??? my god, they're purposely trying to make this harder on me i think.
previous installments: 1 2 3 3.5
Whenever Sid isn’t allowed to travel with the team, he chafes.
Normally it’s from injury. The dark days of the concussion and neck injury aren’t that far behind him, but even with those memories lingering in his mind Sid’s much more used to the monotony of being out hurt: check-ins with Vyas, long sessions with the trainers, at-home rehab exercises, and not a lot more. At least he gets out, though, to Cranberry for his appointments and PPG to watch home games, and in his free time whenever he wants to go.
This is different. Sid and Geno are supposed to be sequestered, stuck in Sid’s house while the team waits to see if the pregnancy took and the lawyers argue over Geno’s unplanned mating bite.
The first few days were the worst. Geno was distraught, barely able to be in the same room as Sid without looking like a kicked puppy, and constantly on the phone spitting out upset-sounding Russian as he paced through Sid’s home.
Sid gets it, kind of. Geno’s a professional, this is part of what he does for a living, and he made a mistake, tied himself to Sid without meaning to because he lost control in the middle of what was essentially a job for him. There’s no easy hockey comparison, but Sid imagines making a mistake of that magnitude during a game and thinks he’d probably be reacting much, much worse than Geno is.
The bond Geno tore into them isn’t going away, though, and eventually he drifts back to Sid’s side.
He’s hesitant at first, tentative and apologetic, but Sid eventually manages to convince Geno that he’s not mad.
It’s not how he expected to get bonded, really. But Sid had come to terms years ago with the fact that it might not be up to him. He spent his entire life being warned that alphas can’t always control themselves around an omega in heat—that’s why he had to be so careful once he got a little older and realized the value of his breeding rights.
And he could do worse than Geno.
Sid doesn’t go more than a couple hours without having flashbacks to Geno holding him down and crooning in his ear while his knot swelled inside him. His face gets hot and his scent must turn, because Geno always looks at him.
He won’t touch Sid, though, no matter what Sid does.
Part of why they’re stuck inside is because the team is convinced that Geno’s too aggressive to be in public. The unexpected bite is held up as fairly damning evidence, and the specialists argue that in the early days of the bond settling Geno might catch someone looking at Sid and go feral.
There’s a part of Sid that wouldn’t mind seeing that, but he really, really doesn’t think it would happen. Geno had one moment where he lost control, sure, but he’s been respectful to a fault since, even when Sid’s been trying his best to change that.
They sleep in the same bed because the one time Geno tried to use the guest room neither of them got more than half an hour of sleep. Sid initially hoped that maybe he could start something that way, but Geno stays on his side of the bed, touching Sid’s hip gently before pulling back.
It leaves Sid cold every night. He’s determined to change things. Technically he won’t know if he’s pregnant or not for another week when they’re able to run a blood test, but Sid knows his body intimately, and he knows it didn’t take this time—and the idea of having to wait for Geno’s touch again until he goes into heat next is untenable.
“Fuck,” he swears, letting the knife clatter from his hand and leaping back from the kitchen counter. “Oh, damnit.”
He sticks his finger in his mouth and eyes the knife balefully. He’d woken up before Geno for the first time all week and had the idea that he’d have breakfast waiting when Geno came downstairs, set out on the table like a good little omega might for their alpha.
Instead, his finger slipped while he was trying to chop tomatoes for an omelette and now he’s bled all over the cutting board.
“Sid?” comes Geno’s sleepy voice, and Sid cringes, turning to face the kitchen door.
“Morning,” he mumbles around his finger, watching as Geno frowns around the room and scrubs a hand through his hair. “Sorry.”
“You hurt?” Geno says, ignoring Sid’s apology and the mess in favor of crossing the room and tugging Sid’s hand down from his mouth, cradling it in his own palms. “Oh, lyubimyy, you’re bleed, let me help.”
He tows Sid over to the sink, running cool water and pushing Sid closer to the counter so he can stick his hand under the stream. Geno stays close behind him, a tall, warm presence at Sid’s back, and Sid shivers.
Geno curls his hand around Sid’s hip. “You okay?” he says quietly, leaning down to peer over Sid’s shoulder at his hand. “Looks like it’s not so bad.”
“Yeah,” Sid says breathlessly, pulling his finger back from the water and fumbling for a paper towel. “I think probably just a bandage and I’ll be fine.”
He steels himself for the rush of cold when Geno steps away from him, but it doesn’t come. If anything, Geno presses against him more, sliding his hand from Sid’s hip to his low belly.
Sid goes still. He’s afraid if he so much as breathes too loudly, Geno will realize what he’s doing and put that respectful distance between them again.
“Don’t think it take this time,” Geno says, rubbing his palm over Sid’s stomach. Sid wants to go liquid, to fall back into his alpha’s arms and let Geno have his way with him, but he grits his teeth and stays upright. Geno’s scent this close, calm and happy with an undertone of arousal that’s become all too familiar—and frustrating—to Sid over the last two weeks, is almost too much; Sid’s going to start slicking up his sweatpants soon.
“It didn’t,” he replies breathlessly, shifting his hips back the littlest bit, pressing against Geno’s body. “I mean…we won’t know for sure until they test me next week, I guess, but I don’t feel like it did.”
“Hmm,” Geno hums. He’s still moving his hand over Sid’s body, slow and warm. “Guess we have to try again.” He puts his face down to Sid’s neck, rubbing their cheeks together before he inhales open-mouthed over Sid’s scent glands, fitting his teeth to the marks he left. “Smell so good,” he groans, pulling Sid flush against his body.
Geno’s tongue on Sid’s neck almost sends him into a swoon. His throat has been so sensitive since he woke up the day after Geno bonded them; the slightest touch is enough to make his skin prickle and send shivers down his spine. Geno’s focused attention is almost too much, and Sid gets hard so fast he feels dizzy.
“Geno, please,” he gasps, reaching back blindly and groping at Geno’s side.
Geno’s mouth drags down the back of Sid’s neck as he sinks to his knees, yanking Sid’s pants down and shouldering his legs apart.
Sid doesn’t even have time to feel embarrassed before Geno has his tongue up his ass.
“Oh fuck,” Sid gets out, bracing himself against the counter just in time to stop from falling. Geno’s big palm on the small of his back encourages him to lean forward and stick his ass out further.
Sid’s face burns, but the shame of the position falls away as Geno spreads him open and licks at him, obscene in the morning quiet of the kitchen. Sid’s dripping wet now in response to the stimulation and Geno’s arousal, and all he can do is hold on.
Geno’s holding Sid so tightly Sid wonders if he’ll have bruises later, dark purple fingerprints smudged all over his ass and thighs. They’ll hurt when he sits down. The thought makes his dick throb, and if Sid weren’t so unsteady on his feet right now he’d reach down and take himself in hand.
Geno pulls back and presses two fingers to Sid’s hole, pushing in with no warning and no pause. Sid jolts, but Geno curls his fingers and strokes against something inside him that makes Sid’s stomach twist.
“So tight,” Geno murmurs. “I’m only one who has you like this, yes?” He pets the rim of Sid’s hole with a third finger, ducking down to suck at Sid’s balls.
“Yes,” Sid wails, legs shaking as his dick twitches and leaks up against the cabinets. “It’s just you, it’s just you, please.”
“Shh, sweetheart,” Geno soothes. “I get you there.”
If Sid were able to do more than clutch at the edges of his sink and moan, he’d beg Geno to tug him down onto the floor and knot him right there in the kitchen. He feels frantic, hot all over and desperate for more, but all he can do is gasp open-mouthed as he stares blindly out the window above the sink and let Geno do what he wants.
Geno knows exactly what to do, how hard to thrust, when Sid’s ready for him to add a third finger and worm his tongue in alongside. And when Sid’s so close he’s practically out of his mind, scrabbling at nothing on the countertops, Geno knows when to wrap his other hand around Sid’s dick and stroke him once, twice, until Sid’s coming all over his nice wooden cabinets.
He almost falls, but Geno catches him around the waist and eases him down, positioning him in Geno’s lap. Geno’s dick is between his legs, nudging against his balls and over-sensitive dick, and Geno wraps his arms around Sid’s waist to move him, humping up between Sid’s thighs as he chases his own pleasure.
Sid lets his head fall back against Geno’s shoulder, turning his head into Geno’s neck and mouthing at his tendons. Geno’s scent glands are right there, and Sid thinks he might be drowning, totally surrounded in scent and the feel of Geno’s arousal building in the back of his mind where the bond is.
When he scrapes his teeth against Geno’s glands, not even enough to leave a mark, Geno shouts, clutches him close, and comes all over Sid’s legs.
Sid clenches his thighs around Geno’s knot, shivering at the feel of it pulsing against him. That was in him not two weeks ago, and if Sid gets his way he’ll have it in him again soon.
He’s not letting Geno avoid him, avoid this, anymore. Geno mated him, and Sid wants everything that’s meant to go along with that. And Sid always gets what he wants in the end.
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I saw requests are open! Is it possibly for you to do a Senku x reader oneshot? Senku is totally pining after the reader (who also has a massive crush on him) and Gen has to shove Senku out of his comfort zone to get him to say anything to the reader!
OR (give you some options because I saw you have writers block)
A Senku x Reader oneshot where they are finally about to reunite after Senku wins the Stone war against Tsukasa! Fluffy and cute!
I hope giving you two ideas isn’t too much! You definitely don’t need to do both but I thought giving you a choice would help!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b6336f4f147e86f6f1663d343d0fdccf/0fa332cbfff6eb69-9a/s540x810/da3541489979266f5ffd665fb575e64d1a7bba60.jpg)
ᴛʜᴇ ᴡɪɴɴᴇʀ ᴛᴀᴋᴇꜱ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ
⁺₊✦₊
pairing: senku x f!reader
a/n: I've decided to merge the two ideas together! Thank you for requesting!! I hope it's to your liking!
⁺₊✦₊
Senku couldn't sleep, for countless nights, he would lay in bed, staring at the ceiling silently, thinking.
Ever since Gen had arrived back during the Grand Bout, he revealed something to him.
Tsukasa had taken [Name] as a hostage, purposely reviving her when he had no choice but to bury her statue when they fled the small camp he and Taiju made at the beginning and keeping her close.
"Poor [Name] is scared to death." Gen's words echo in his mind. "Save her Senku~"
He sighs, closing his eyes. "Wait for me, okay?" Mumbling quietly, he says.
࿐⸻༺ ෆ ༻⸻࿐
After the war with Tsukasa was over, the first thing Senku did was go over to the Tsukasa empire. On his search to look for the [H/C] haired girl, he walked among the place before stopping.
He looked up to see a figure poking their head out from the prison-like cave, like how Chrome said they held him in.
"....senku?" The voice called out quietly.
A shiver ran down his spine.
[Name] teared up upon seeing him running up the mountain to where she was being held.
Watching as he pants heavily, he quickly helps trying to get the prison open, sitting on a rock, sat [Name], nothing had changed. Seeing her like this reminds him of their life in the modern world.
"You're okay." Her calm expression is the same; the way she sits with her legs together, ladylike, and the gentle smile on her lips are all the same. "I'm happy."
[Name] is caught off guard as Senku walks over and stands in front of her, then suddenly, the two fall back from the rock, trapping the girl underneath him, his arms are wrapped tightly around her waist, face buried in her neck.
She's stunned before even saying a word; she feels his shoulders tremble slightly and then understands.
Without a word, she slowly hugs him back, smiling against his hair. "... I missed you too." She mumbles for his ears alone.
⁺₊✦₊
It's been a couple of weeks since [Name] returned to his side; Gen had noticed the way Senku would be around her. Asking for her opinions on his latest work, when they made bread, he made sure she was the last one to get it, giving her the larger portion left.
Upon seeing how happy she was eating it, he gave her his piece, claiming he wasn't that hungry and claimed they would make more now that they had a chief.
Gen had managed to catch [Name] alone, Senku, surprisingly not by her side. "Say, [Name], I've been meaning to ask. What is Senku to you?" He sat down beside her as she sewed up Senku's winter coat since winter was coming up.
She looks up at him before going back to work. "We grew up together." Gen hums at this. "My best friend." Her answer was....too vague for him, so he decided to push.
"Oh? Is that all? I thought you two were more than that." He thinks out loud, peeking over to see her reaction.
"Gen." The girl says, "I know what you're trying to do." She smiles. "If you're looking for a specific answer, all you had to do was ask. I have loved Senku for many years."
His mouth drops, and he expected her to deny or simply not answer.
"So straightforward." She just smiles at him before going back to work.
It took days for Gen to plan his next move; he saw the way Senku looked at [Name], so maybe he could ask Senku if he would think of the [H/C] haired girl.
Yeah, he'll ask and try to play matchmaking-
"Oh, [Name]? Yeah, I'm aware of her feelings for me." Senku says bluntly, picking his ear.
Gen is shell-shocked, staring at Senku like he has grown another head.
"What?" The green-white-haired boy says, clueless.
"You haven't done anything?" Senku blinks at Gen's words. "Done what?" The scientist says.
"Oh, I don't know—accepting her feelings, obviously!?! Gen shouts clearly annoyed at how blunt Senku was towards the girl's feelings in the first place.
"[Name] knows how I feel," Senku says like it's normal, very blunty.
Gen groans. "Senku, I don't think any girl would know what the boy she's in love with feels about her when you give her science rants."
"Can't you give her flowers or maybe something normal?"
Senku scoffs at this. "Back in the modern world, I would give her a lot of things." He says it like it's nothing, almost proud.
"Name one." Gen challenges him.
"I named a spaceship after her."
"Next."
"I took her to Africa to study Ebola with me."
"No, something more romantic." Gen looked like he wanted to just give up. None of this seemed like normal things to give to a girl.
Senku thinks a bit. "...I made a lipstick for her." He remembers that the brand she was using was running out, but they had discontinued it. She was sad about it and often went to the mall with her as she searched for an alternative.
So when she didn't like any of them nor did it suit her. He managed to sneak a sample of the remaining bit and spent a week trying to perfect it.
Seeing her so happy was worth it in the end.
"Anything else?" Gen asked him. "Surely that can't be the only 'normal' gift to her." The man sighs.
Senku stands with his arms crossed, the work he was working on, forgotten. His face deadpans as soon as he realizes what Gen means. Maybe he hadn't given enough to [Name], or maybe she thinks the feelings are one-sided.
"See what I mean." Gen sighs at Senku's dejected face.
"Don't worry, the great mentalist will help you," Gen says grinning.
⁺₊✦₊
Senku glanced over at [Name], who was sitting. He made up an excuse to bring her here alone, and he wasn't sure where to go from there.
In his hand, a hairclip, one he'd made the day before. Gen had suggested it to him upon seeing how [Name] often moved the strands of hair from her face.
Gen watches from afar. He can't hear anything, but he sees Senku sitting down beside the [H/C] haired girl. His lips opened as he spoke to her before showing the hairclip.
[Name] smiles as she reaches for the item before Senku leans in and puts it in her hair, catching her off guard as her face heats up slightly, but she smiles at Senku.
More words are spoken, but Gen sees this as a sign to give them privacy.
[Name] goes to lean in the water to see her reflection, but Senku stops her; he brings out a small item and hands it to her. Flipping it around, the girl sees that it is a mirror; smiling, she checks where he puts the hairclip and smiles even more , thanking him.
She looks surprised at his words, seeing him bashful as he confesses, giggling at this. She rests her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes, "That's not true; I like when you go on about what you're passionate about; I love seeing that sparkle in your eyes." She confesses. "So don't think your actions are any less."
Senku wraps his arm around her as they sit there. No more words are needed between them since they both know the depths of their feelings.
The next day, Gen goes over to see how things went, going over to Senku, only to stop when he sees the two closer than ever.
Matchmaker Gen's job is over.
#thelonestarinthesky#dr stone#dr stone senku#dr stone x reader#ishigami senku#senku#senku x reader#senku x y/n#x reader#drst x reader
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Childhood best friends to lovers, i love this concept a little too much and got carried away lol <33
She’d never know, at least that’s what he convinced himself of.
She’d never know that she was like a breath of fresh air after drowning for hours, that she was like the first bit of light rising up in the morning, that she was like the feeling of warmth when getting praised, that talking to her was like hearing his favorite song for the first time again, that her laugh was engraved in his brain and he could hear it even when she wasn’t around, that her presence radiated light that seeped right into his bones, that seeing her was like a shot of espresso immediately waking every nerve in his system, that her smile gleamed with such brightness it could light up the whole world in an eternal darkness, that her eyes said so much more than anything she had ever said, that she was a perfectly aligned harmony when everything else was out of tune.
She’d never know, but he did.
She lived within him; His whole life had been reduced to her.
“Wow Art, this is really good!” his literature teacher spoke as she read his paper, “y’know, if the whole tennis thing doesn’t work out, you could be the next big writer, I mean it.”
For his literature class, as a “creative exploration exercise”—his teacher calls it—they had been assigned to write a paper on someone of something which they could understand as unrequited love, of course he had chosen you, because what better example than you and Art.
You and Art have known each other since diapers due to your parents being best friends from their college days up to the present day, which sort of brought the two of you together one way or another, but you wouldn’t have it any other way, and neither would art.
Growing you with you might’ve been one of the best things he has ever been able to experience, he wishes people could actually get to feel what its like to be shined on by your light, for him, it truly is unearthly every time.
Sure, you two had distance shoved in your faces when he went to MRTA, but when he returned home for breaks, it was like nothing changed, it was just you and Art.
And of course as cliché as it may be, the inevitable happened, Art began to fall in love with you.
At first, he tried to convince himself that it was just the affection he had for his best friend, but he had no way to deny it. From the second he stopped just seeing you, but when he started seeing you.
He could try to blame it on his hormones and being a teenager, but everything else contradicted that.
In the summer, seeing you in your two-piece swimsuit didn’t seem the same, especially since you had started to grow into your big girl body, as his nana said.
At Christmas when he saw you walk into the living room dressed as Cindy Lou who from shoes to hair, with a goofy smile, but why did it make him blush? You seemed the same, you did this every year.
Patrick mocked him for having a small picture of the two of you in his wallet, but he didn’t care, whenever he was having a bad day, or missed home, he’d look at the picture, instantly erasing anything that disturbed his thoughts.
But you’d never know that. And he was okay with that. For the most part.
A couple of weeks he went back home for spring break, he was feeing at ease, he’d see his parents, his nana, and…you.
“Artie! My sweet boy!” his grandmother called out as he walked out of the car to the front porch with a suitcase in his hand, and a wide smile. His grandmother ran up to him wrapping her arms around him, her warmth immediately transferring to his skin, he was home.
“Nana, hey, how’ve you been?” he spoke with a sweet tone as he hugged her back. Sure, tennis was his whole life, but coming back home felt like a weight was lifted off his back, he doesn’t have to be THE Art Donaldson, he was just…Art.
“You look so tired baby boy, let me take your bags, go take a shower” his nana said as she shut the door behind her.
“Nana, seriously don’t worry—“
“Will you just let me take care of you while you’re here? You’ve gotta do all this yourself at school, but not here Artie” and well, there isn’t much arguing with nana Donaldson, it’s just how it’s been his whole life.
After his shower, Art walked in his room with a calm breath and loose muscles, how he needed that warm shower, as he walked over to his bag, which was placed next to the window he began to look for some clothes.
He wasn’t one to feel prying eyes on him but by reflex, Art lifted his head as he looked through the window, it was you.
You covered your mouth clearly giggling as he looked down at himself completely naked only covered by a towel wrapped around his waist, “fuck me” he muttered as he looked up once again but now face completely flushed and the tips of his ears burning red.
He waved awkwardly as he pulled the curtains closed feeling flustered, he wanted to get his mind off of her, so he said, how’s that going? Not great.
His nana looked up as he came downstairs with a puzzled expression, your name left his lips.
“What about her?” She asked as she left a plated grilled cheese in front of him.
“Why didn’t you tell me she was home for the break?” She laughed, why is she laughing?
“Sweetie, I thought it was obvious, she always come back home for breaks” she shook her head as she smiled playfully, “though, I think there’s something about her being here that bothers you”
“What— no, no, it doesn’t bother me, I just— would’ve expected something else, I don’t know”
“You sure?” She slid the paper across the counter with delicacy, “are you absolutely sure baby?”
“Nana! I told you to stop snooping, come on!” He said taking the paper as quickly as possible, could this day get any worse?
“One, I wasn’t snooping, it fell out of your backpack, and two, Artie, you know you can tell me anything, right?” He lowered his head ever so slightly as he grabbed the sandwich to then take a bite.
“I know.” He said once he swallowed, she leaned against the counter with curious eyes.
“She’s good, she’s smart, and really talented, did you hear she put out a song?” He lifted his brows in surprise, you really had picked music, over psychology, huh…
“Huh…well that’s great, I’m sure she’ll do great with all that” his nana scoffed as she muttered a small “art…” with a warning tone, “what? I mean it”
“You gotta give me more than that after that thing you wrote, Art, I taught you better than this.”
“I just—! I don’t know what to say, Nana, that’s the problem. Not to you, not to Patrick and most definitely not to her” he spilled, fiddling nervously with his hands, “I’d screw our friendship, one sided feelings aren’t worth risking years of trust.”
“Well you never know Artie, sometimes holding onto those feelings is painful, even if something is on the line, it isn’t worth it if you’re hurting” she was right, but Art would never say that out loud, this was all too much for him.
“It’s just…it’s not easy”
“Well my boy, no one said love was easy, and sometimes, just sometimes, the most complicated loves, are the most beautiful ones” he listened intently as he finished off the grilled cheese, she was right, maybe all he needed to do was tell her.
You had to know.
So there he was at 2:34 a.m throwing small pebbles at your window, just like he did years ago to then go the skate park at midnight and sit at the top of the ramps while you talked till sunrise.
“Stop throwing rocks Donaldson, you’ll wake the dog” you came out the door in pjs but wrapped in a jacket, he turned with a confused expression “I came running down when I felt the first two rocks” you laughed softly as you blushed slightly, God you missed this.
It’s like being kids all over again.
“So how’s tennis and all, Mr. Stanford?” You asked as you swung your hanging feet off the ramp.
“Y’know tennis is the same always, trust me, you don’t care” he laughed as he shook his head, “but Stanford is nice, just not the same without you and Patrick on my ass all the time”
“Ah, of course, because that’s the biggest change you’ve had since we were kids up to today” you rolled your eyes as you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Yeah…” he chuckled dryly as he looked away, could he be more obvious, goddamn.
“What?”
“No— no, it’s nothing” he insisted.
“Art I know you, it’s not nothing, what’s up?” You pushed as he looked up at the sky biting his lip while humming, “Art?”
“Hm?” He turned to look at you again, you lifted a brow silently asking once again, “ah…I— I love you” he blurted out unable to stop himself.
You opened your mouth but nothing came out.
“I have since the summer you turned fifteen, you just— you kinda started to seem different to me, and I— I fell in love with you.” He sighed, “and I know timing sucks and it’s gonna make things weird, but if I didn’t tell you, it would eat me alive, y’know it’s been so long—“ his rambling got cut off as your lips crashed onto his almost immediately.
His body tensed up completely, the feeling of your lips foreign to his, but so familiar at the same time, the reality was better than any dream he had ever managed to build up in his mind, your plump lips tasting faintly like cherry lip gloss, he was most likely dreaming, he thought, cause there is no way he had told you how he felt, and even less probabilities of him kissing you.
As you pulled away, he found himself instinctively following you with parted lips and eyes shut, he was so high with your mere presence, a soft giggle from you snapped him back to reality as his eyes opened up slowly, pupils blown, he looked as if he had just seen God.
“…Did you just—“
“Kiss you?” You ask slightly tilting your head with a giddy smile, “seems like it”
You shrugged as you snorted softly.
“Oh.” Oh was the only thing his brain could process for him to say still stunned.
“Okay— so you tell me you love me, but I kiss you and all you say is ‘oh’, I mean—“ you said as you licked your lips as you thought.
“I just— I didn’t think you’d— like…you…like…” he fumbled as he tried to pull a thought out of the back of his brain.
“Art, you’re telling me you didn’t expect me to kiss you, when I’ve literally had this…I’ve been in love with you since we were kids, and I’ve been as subtle as a marching band” you tell him as a blush creeps up your face while you chuckle nervously.
“You’re kidding, right?” You shake your head with a small grin, he scoffs as he covers his face with his hands, “am I just that dense?”
“Not dense, more like…oblivious” you laugh as he glares back playfully.
Then there’s beat of silence, that moment where suddenly everything had fallen into place, he’s been pining over you for years, and you’ve waited for the right moment for as long as you can remember, but then the question settles in, what now?
“Uhm…art…?” You turn to him with hesitation, he hums in response “what now? I mean, you’re going back to cali after break and I’m going back to New York…”
“Hm…I hadn’t really thought that far into it” he said softly turning to look at you with gentle eyes, “what now?” He asks back softly.
“I— I like you, Art, I’m in it for the long game.” You spoke honestly as you fiddled with your fingers.
“I’ll play the long game. You’re out there, I’m out there too, we’ll see each other in summer, thanksgiving, and Christmas…I mean it, I— don’t just like you.” He confessed as he chewed on the inside of his cheek nervously.
“I can do that” you said softly, smiling back at him, letting out a small breath, “long game…?”
Your hand cupped his cheek making him face you, he smiled as he nodded, looking down at your lips and back at your eyes “long game.” He muttered as he leaned in kissing you once again, holding you gently in a fear of breaking you.
That right there. That was it, you were the living proof of unrequited love for him.
#art donaldson#mike faist#challengers#art donaldson x reader#art donaldson fic#childhood best friends#i actually love this#baby moon yaps#baby moon writes
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Vent post below the cut about being aroace and amatanormativity. Yes I’m okay nothing happened im just mopey.
Thoughts I am having:
- I do not feel comfortable with the idea of me having a romantic partner
- I don’t even really enjoy the idea of just one best friend I’m dedicated to, like a QPP; I don’t think I have that attraction either
- I like my roommates well enough, but I won’t be in college here forever; I have grad school, and then internship, and then. Being a neuropsychologist. All of those things cannot be at my current college, because they aren’t taking students or employing people in that program.
- I was completely on my own in my current apartment for the first week and I didn’t like it. It was very lonely and I had a lot of anxiety about being alone if something bad happened. I don’t think I want to live alone in the future.
- I absolutely do NOT want to live at home if I can avoid it. I love my family very much but I would honestly rather be alone, with the loneliness and anxiety, than be at home 24/7.
- I also didn’t enjoy living with roommates I wasn’t close friends with. I got lucky in sophomore year that I made fast friends with my roommates, but freshman year sucked, not least because I felt alone even with two other people living in the same 2 bedroom dorm suite.
- It doesn’t help that I’m autistic and ADHD, which doesn’t make me the best roommate in general. I struggle to remember to clean up after myself, I don’t make new friends easily, executive function makes it hard to do chores around the apartment, and I’m not the greatest at communication. Heck, sometimes I just fully forget to shower for a week. I try my best to be a good roommate but like. I’m never not going to be disabled. I’m not going to magically be a great roommate to get people to like me more or to make friends faster.
- So then. I want to live with multiple friends of mine, who understand and accommodate my needs, without being romantically or queerplatonically attracted to any of them, just as roommates who enjoy each other’s company.
- How on earth is *that* gonna happen?
I know I’m borrowing trouble and that it’ll probably work out fine I just feel. Lonely. I’m aroace, and like. There’s no sexual or romantic or queerplatonic attraction at all. It’s just platonic. But to most other people, those other types of attraction matter a lot in who they live with or stay around. And I can’t provide any of that. Obviously amatanormativity is not accurate to human relationships and people can live together and just be good friends and nothing else, but like. Practically. I don’t really have any examples of that happening irl. And I just feel sad about it being a lot harder not to be alone.
#Tay don’t look#I really am okay I just feel sad#I’m probably just on my period and that’s why I’m emotional skdkgkgkkdjsjdj#anyway if u see this post and u are worried it is about you I promise it is not#I am not trying to vague anybody skdkfkdkjajfjf#just processing my feelings on tumblr.com#Letters to myself#<- so I can find this post later#and see what’s changed in the next couple of years#maybe I’ll queue this post seeing as my queue is broken and only posts 1 post a day#and it’s got almost 1000 posts in there#so like. it’ll probably post by the time I graduate and take my gap year.#and I’ll see what’s different then#hopefully it’ll be better
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Hey not to make a political post but does it ever feel like we can just never win and the suffering will be forever and we're always going to have to fight with moments of peace being fleeting and not worth looking forward to
#behind the tent#neg#current events#the worst man alive got shot and lived#if he DOES die he will be martyred . we will be considered a violent threat . the right will revolt#if he DOESNT die he will martyr himself as a survivor . we will be branded as violent and worth stamping out . we're going to be killed#moments of celebration do not last#two innocent people died as a result#and we couldnt even fucking kill trump immediately#and joe biden aint much better!!!#and halfway across the globe innocent families are being ripped apart in the name of an ethnostate and by god Im not letting myself give up-#-hope for them . Im not allowed to feel hopeless for them .#but fuck if the knowledge in my mind every waking day doesnt add to it#and neither of our politicians care!!! and of course the entire fucking world ends up dictated by the whims of the US anyways so the fact#they dont care is crucially fucking important!!#And my right to live and exist in this country will probably be wiped away entirely in a couple of years when I just barely got to taste it#there's a chance I could be hatecrimed next time I walk out the door#And maybe its the ahedonia since childhood speaking too but I'm starting to not see the point !!!!! what is the point !!!!#the fact there ARE people who care about me is the only fucking reason I'm not gonna end it all tomorrow! I swear to god!#And at this point I am waiting for this to finally fucking affect me personally so I can have an excuse to fucking feel that way!#I feel so fucking selfish for being so suicidal when I've been one of the lucky ones but god its not gonna get better is it?#everyone encourages radicalization and change . demands it . begs for it . but it hasnt happened! it will Never happen!#my only god damn choice is to let it lead to despair!#suicidal ideation cw#God I wish I had access to hard drugs
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my best friend has been very distant w me lately and i asked today if she wanted to hang out and she said she probably couldn't bc it's her brothers birthday but she would let me know if she could and i have her location and i just looked and she's at her boyfriends house rn....
#we have it bc we're roomates so we started sharing locations when we first moved in like in case someone doesn't come home at night or smth#she recently told me that she wants to move out bc she has always wanted to live alone and she can finally afford it. and i asked her#directly like is there an issue because she is so non confrontational so she has never ever mentioned me doing anything that bothers her#and i said please tell me if there's something wrong because it would really suck if there was and i never got a chance to fix it because#you never told me. and she said no it has nothing to do with that i really just feel like it's time for me to live on my own. and a couple#days ago she was like okay i'm next in line for my apartment i'll probably move out in april. and i try to get her to hang out still and#she always has something else going on and i swear every night this week she's been at her boyfriends.#and if i see her around our apartment and try to make conversation at all she's so like short about it and barely responds like will only#give one word answers. i feel like it kind of started when i started dating e but i realized that i was spending less time with her and i#didn't want to be the girl that loses all my friends bc of a boyfriend so i started specifically reaching out to hang out with her and she#says no most of the time and never asks me. like i don't know what else i can do.#i'm like maybe it's bc of her boyfriend? bc they've been on again off again for a long time and previously when they were together it was#really distant with her like i barely saw her EVER. and they were mostly broken up for the past couple years and have been together i think#for a while again... but she knows i don't approve of that relationship and so she would like not say when they were talking again. so maybe#since lately they've been hanging out or dating or WHATEVER she doesn't fucking tell me what's going on with him. maybe that's why.#i literally like try to think of ways it could be my fault and maybe i'm being crazy but i cannot even think to blame myself for more than a#fleeting second bc i'm like. i have ASKED HER directly if there is an issue or something i do that bothers her and she says no. so even if#i'm somehow pissing her off would i ever know to change anything?? i just feel so frustrated bc it's like she's an entirely different person#to me. like this is not the person i know. and i don't know what else i could possibly do like i feel like we need to sit down and have a#conversation about it but what good does that do if she just acts like nothing is wrong. but i don't want to lose my friend i have such a#hard time making friends. i've known her since i was 14 like i can't imagine my life without her. we were the only two in our whole friend#group in high school to get out of the church i still love those other girls but we have so little in common now.
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