#and say hi to the cows and the bees and sometimes the horses

[emotionalsupportgoblin420]

So first, lemme introduce you to my f/o of the week: Tfa Bumblebee

(Also, I will be rping as my Shisa s/i)

Me.

He would start with playing a song that is calming and that I like. Music always calms me down. Once I've settled down a bit, he'd hug me and just sit there till I was okay and playing calming music.

No. He doesn't wear clothes period lol /nm /silly

Him. He's also the one who needs protection more often as my yokai powers keep me well protected. Even against decepticons.

Low light, a candle, some snacks, maybe some hot coco for me, and some warmed up motor oil for him if it's the cold months, some blankets, a plushy for me, and anime while we're all cuddled up.

He would beg me not to leave, and I would have to to protect him.

Yessir! We're two nerodivergent dumbasses ofc we would lol /lh

I'm the only one who gets sick, and it's constant comfort, pity, and cuddles, which my touch starved ass LOVES.

Obvi we can't have bio children but he's not entirely against it. But preferably WAY in the future when we're both more mature lol.

Probably to somewhere like an amusement park. (Fun fact: In the canon, Bumblebee has gone to an amusement park. Whether or not his 16 foot tall robot ass was or was not allowed on any ride remains unknown, but imagining him on a roller coaster is fun as hell to me.)

We both kinda do. Him more than me, but we can always tell when the other is upset.

Not often, but it does happen. Usually over something petty ngl. It usually goes down like this: yelling, petty insults, storming off, coming back to talk about it calmly, apologizing, and forgiveness. Works for us. Neither of us are ones to linger on things long.

Me. I have made it my life's mission to torment him lol (in a loving way ofc. I try not to take things too far and to apologize when I do).

Both of us match each other's energy level, and we both have a love for speed. He sees me as a "goddess" (his words, not mine), and I am deeply insecure, and he helps with that while he's very confident (downright full of himself in a fun way.) The problem arise when you realize we both have ADHD. I'm innatentive, and he's hyperactive. That makes for an interesting combo to say the least lol. Also, he's a yapper and sometimes, I just wanna be left alone. This has led to a few petty arguments.

Yep. We both do. I always have to kiss him if either of us is leaving.

Omg yes. Sometimes, he won't shut up. But, I knew what I was signing up for, so I can't complain too much, lol.

Me. I'm the flirt in the relationship, and I wear it like a badge of honor.

Me! I LOVE animals! I already have a hamster and a crow (the crow is my familiar). If I could, I'd have horses, dogs, cats, cows, goats, ducks, and millipedes. I do have to restrain myself a little but will get some of those one day lol.

I'm aight with it most of the time. He loves it. He loves people knowing I'm his.

Pika Girl by S3RL

Bee would, and I'd help Ratchet patch him up.

The song Bumblebee always reminds me of him (for obvious reasons). Fire reminds him of me (because of my dark flame magic).

Either one of us, really. I could do it by being flirty (and possibly explicit 😏). He gives me his puppy eyes, and I am not leaving, lol.

Neither of us ngl. I'm too ticklish, and he wouldn't feel shit if I tried.

Video games! I don't care much for playing, but I love watching. Especially Legend of Zelda games.

Mine's alcohol. His is video games.

Him. He's such a toddler when he's drunk (I think it's kinda cute ngl. Also, according to G1, cybertronians can get drunk /nm /gen)

We like the basics. Babe, honey, sweetie, sweetheart, the usually. Babe is the most common one between the two of us.

Him. I freak out a bit. I hate the sensation.

If he could choose my outfit, he'd probably choose my yellow plaid dress and white leggings (assuming it's for a night out. If we're staying home, he'd pick some sort of laundering)

Oh, we're both handsy. But he can be more explict with it. If he can do it discreetly, he'll try to squeeze my thigh (not to say I mind ofc).

Me! I like to tell SCP stories! Unfortunately, I'm dyslexic so I often stumble over my words lol.

Me again. I love to forage for edible mushrooms, and I make mean fried mushroom nuggets if I do say so myself. He tried to cook once and nearly burned down the whole base. Optimus banned him from ever doing that again so... yeah.

We both make dirty jokes, but when it comes to stories that make the other blush, I'm the reigning champ.

Me. I draw all the time and make jewelry as well.

I'm most likely to fire up the stove at ungodly hours because I'm hungry. He keeps me company, which I appreciate.

Me. I cuss like a sailor (and I'm not happy about it).

He's the one always wanting to try something new. I'm a bit vanilla ngl. I just don't think of some of the things he does.

Me. He'd be against for like 10 minutes before caving to the cuteness and helping me beg Optimus to let us keep it lol.

Neither of us ngl. He doesn't eat, and I'm a lightweight when it comes to food portions.

Me as a joke lol.

He likes sunny and I like rainy.

Either of us. Without hesitation.

I would, and he'd join. The most likely song to create such a situation is Classic by MKTO.

Yes we both can.

Hell yeah 100%. We match each other's freak lol.

No. Both of us are chronic oversharers.

Him. He's literally a car lol.

Him more than me. If I don't give him enough attention, he starts begging like a dog. He knows what to do for my affection.

Me ngl. Nothing too bad. Just something little like hiding the game he was playing or something like that.

For me, it's happy stims, hugs, and nuzzling my face into him while I hug him. For him, it's some kind of gesture, like taking me on a nature or something.

California vacay and checking out cool stores and universal.

Any swimming is skinny dipping for him. I wouldn't, tho. I hate feeling that exposed outside of the comfort of either of our rooms.

He is. I physically couldn't carry him, lol. Not to mention, I usually fall asleep while cuddling or during a drive.

He doesn't get it, but he's willing to stargaze for me.

I usually will just spread my legs while we're alone, and he jumps at the opportunity. He'll just gently brush his hand against my bits, and I'm good to go.

I'm serious with grocery shopping, and he throws random stuff into the cart.

Me ngl.

I'm top dommy mommy. He's bottom twink.

He does.

Ask for OTPs and Self Ships

copied from a now gone post and blog: original url https://glitter-and-gasoline-deactivate.tumblr.com/post/687208822931095552

TW: angst, suggestive content, etc.

Who would end a heated argument by defending their actions with ‘because I love you!’ ?

What would they do if the other woke in a manic state after a nightmare?

Do they wear the other’s clothes? (sweatshirt, bandana, necklace, etc.)

Which one is more protective? Who needs to be ‘protected’?

Describe their cozy night in.

Who would beg the other not to leave? Who has to leave to protect the other?

Would they build a pillow fort together just because?

What happens if one of them gets sick?

What are their thoughts on having children?

Describe their first date.

Do either try to hide their emotions if upset? Can the other still tell?

Do they have many heated arguments? How do they smooth things over?

Who’s the bigger tease?

How do their personalities compliment each other? How do they clash?

Do they always say ‘i love you’ before leaving?

Can they stay up all night just talking?

Who’s more likely to pull the other in by the waist and kiss them passionately?

How likely are they to have fur babies? How many and what kind?

How do they feel about PDA?

Choose one song that perfectly describes their relationship.

Who would get into a fight to defend the other’s honor? Who tends to the other’s wounds?

What reminds each of their partner?

Who’s more likely to convince the other to stay in bed come morning?

Who’s more likely to give the other a massage?

Do they have any hobbies they share?

What are their vices?

Who is the light weight that needs to be taken care of after a party?

What are there thoughts on pet names? Do they have any?

Who is more likely to jump in an elevator? Who freaks out?

Your OTP gets to pick out each other’s outfits; what is each wearing?

Can they sit side by side without touching the other or are they handsy? (lacing fingers, touching knees, etc.)

Who’s the better story teller?

Who’s the better cook?

Who’s more likely to tell a dirty joke or story to make the other blush?

Who’s more artistic?

Who’s more likely to fire up the stove at 2am because the other woke up in the middle of the night hungry?

Which is more likely to swear?

Who is more sexually experimental? Who’s more vanilla?

Who would rescue an injured animal and nurse it back to health? What would the other think?

Who has an insatiable appetite? And what does the other do to help?

Which one would take their jacket it off and drape over the other one because they were visibly shivering?

What’s their favorite type of weather to enjoy together? (getting snowed in together, watching thunderstorms, etc.)

Who would give their life for the other without a second thought?

Who would dance in the kitchen making dinner? Would the other join in or watch from the doorway?

Can they fall asleep without the other?

Would they get frisky at the movies by themselves?

Does either of them have a secret that could potentially ruin their relationship?

Who’s the better driver?

Does either of them have a hard time being away from the other?

who’s more likely to do something out of spite?

What’s a non verbal way they say I love you?

Describe their weekend getaway?

Would they ever go skinny dipping?

Who’s more likely to carry the other to bed?

Do they like watching clouds or star gazing?

What do they do turn the other on/put them in the mood?

Whose the serious one when grocery shopping and who likes to toss random things in the cart?

Who’s more likely to hold a grudge after an argument?

Who tops? Who bottoms?

Who pulls the other closer when they’re sleeping?

[koifish67]

Overwatch x GN! Reader adopting a kid part 1

Tw mentions of vomit

(Since solider 76 is CANON gay, his section will have have he/him pronouns for you(

(The baby is a girl)

Mako is a good dad, a great dad even.

You’d think he’d get annoyed easily by the crying of the baby, but he simply will just scoop up the small human and cradle them ever so gently.

His nickname for his baby? “puawai iti” (little flower in the Māori language)

He’ll put his baby on his stomach with a hand on them and omg it so adorable.

You catch him staring at you while holding the baby, he’ll lie if you ask if he was smiling. (He 100% was)

When he’s out and about he has his baby in a sling on him, it has lil pachimari all over it. He also dresses her in a cute pachimari onesie!

Is scared to feed her but after you show him he’s a bit more confident. Does the airplane thing 100%.

Scared but happy, he genuinely is scared that he’ll accidentally hurt his baby by doing something stupid. But happy cause he finally gets to have a kid with you.

Makes baby clothes and it looks cute! Probably goes crazy when he sees baby shoes.

Puts all his dangerous explosive stuff on a very high shelf.

Cant change diapers for the life of him, like he will gag and vomit if he has to, so it’s your job now.

Giggles so much if she farts or burps, he takes videos of it and sends it to you with him giggling in the background.

Dresses her in very funny costumes and onesies.

ROADHOG BABYSITTIER!!!

Hanzo

Omg is so so happy he finally gets to have a kid with you. He always wanted a kid, and a kid with YOU, his dream is coming true.

When he finally gets to see his child, he starts crying and hugging you and his new baby girl.

Dresses his baby in cute little dresses! He found a cute dragon onesie and is obsessed with it.

Calls her “my little dragon”

Is a pro at feeding, changing diapers, calming her down, and making her laugh.

He spoils her so much that her room is engulfed with stuffed animals, blankets, and the cutest baby bottles.

The dragons love her, they cuddle her all the time.

Mcree

Is super excited, like omg I’m gonna be a father finally!

Dresses her in a lil cowboy hat sometimes it’s so cute, its brown with little bees on it. Has her own little cow boy boots to.

Feeds her like a pro!

Does that thing where she’ll toss her in the hair and catch her, gently of course.

If he’s out and about he has a baby carrier with horses all over it.

Doesn’t smoke when she’s with him, refuses it and will never do it. He actually stops a lot and rarely does in the future.

Has pictures of her and you in his hat, takes it out to show it off to his teammates.

“Look at my amazing husband/wife/partner and our baby!”

Calls her “my little cowgirl”

Doomfist

Very excited! He’s gonna be a dad! It makes him so happy to have a baby with you.

“I cant be evil today I’m to busy being a dad”

I’m sorry but he’s really bad at matching her outfits, but she’s dressed so it doesn’t really matter.

So gentle to her, he treats her like the most breakable glass in the world.

Lots of plushes, so many omg.

He makes her dance, like he does that thing where he moves her arms and legs to make her dance and it’s adorable.

Her first words are “dada” and he starts fucking sobbing.

Solider 76

OMG HES FINALLY A FUCKING DAD! He crys in your chest when that happens

Loves taking her around everywhere in a stroller, especially at the park when he’s on his daily run.

“Where’s the wife today?”

“My HUSBAND is at home making lunch.”

Mercy babysits for you

Stricks me as the guy who builds everything, like he built her crib, a shelf, her diaper changing paper.

Has 20 books on parenting, and asks Ana a lot of questions to.

Starts crying when she touches his face and giggles, his heart is all warm and fuzzy.

Goes to check ups with mercy with her

Dilf

Starts crying when she says her first words.

[fleouriarts]

time for a jamie and co LORE POST!!!! here's them with their (immediate) families. all the actual lore and such below

JAMIE: only child with a single mom. since furries in this universe can only have kids within their taxonomic families, adoption is really common among smaller families like prionodontidae. however jamie's mom erica really wanted a bio kid, so she ended up marrying another linsang who she liked... well enough, but not that much. they get divorced when jamie's a little kid. she had jamie at an older age; by the time he's in college her markings have already started greying, which is why she looks a little dull next to him. nowadays she works as a teacher and she loves her son vewy much :3

SANTIAGO: santiago is the only one in the main cast with different species parents. cross-species kids are just the species of either parent with a 50/50 chance cus i don't feel like dealing with hybrids... HOWEVER sometimes genetic fuckshit happens. because of said genetic fuckshit, santiago grew to a cow size instead of a sheep size. i couldn't fit all the family relations shit on the actual image but emilio is santiago's OLDER brother (hes 25) but people always assume hes younger because santiago is a giant. magnolia and amapola are twins and both 8. mariana is either a teacher or a librarian (haven't figured it out yet) but she used to paint when she had more free time which is how santiago got interested in painting and eventually went into fine arts. jorge is a plumber and emilio is a graphic designer. santiago is the first in the family to leave their hometown (key west) for a degree (emilio went to a local college) and his mom + sisters were SOOOOOOOOOO SAD so he comes home to visit as often as he can. also since he is in family bovidae he has several cousins/aunts and uncles/etc that are different species. all i know for sure is that one of them lives near jamie and co's college and is some sort of antelope (leaning towards bongo bc i like them). also using this poast to announce that i changed santiagos outfit here is his new cute flowers and bees sweater look

JOHNNY: her family works on a chicken (and other assorted birds) farm, the chickens are for both eggs and meat while the other birds are just for eggs. this is actually a common set-up in the dorian furryverse, it's hard to farm livestock as a carnivore (because all the livestock are deathly afraid of you) so herbivores usually do the job even if they can't actually eat what they farm. johnny's parents are sorta "confused but got the spirit" about her being a butch lesbian. jimmy is an ass about it but he gets better. shoutout to this horse color calculator for helping me figure out which coat colors were plausible for them

NULL: null has an older brother and does not talk to their parents. sakichi is six years older than null and they were never very close; their parents treated sakichi as the "successful" child and null as the "problem" child. they're also quite conservative. null realized they were agender in high school but stayed closeted at home, they planned to come out to their parents immediately once they got to college and were able to support themselves. something happens that instead makes them come out a few days after their graduation and they get kicked out. null doesn't know where to go and ends up living at johnny's farm for the summer before college (sakichi lives far away doing some tech job and so can't take them in). the clantons are basically null's family at this point. once null legally changes their name they remove their last name entirely (it probably says X on their documents just cus there has to be SOMETHING there). sakichi and null see each other very occasionally, and sakichi still talks to their parents, but only when absolutely necessary. it's not malicious, he'd just feel too guilty cutting himself off from them completely

ARGYLE: argyle is an only child with well-off parents, his mom is a lawyer and his dad is a quirky ancient history professor. his parents are like EXTREMELY doting so they were secretly kinda glad that he came back home so they could see him more often. argyle was really scared that they would hate him for going into a less stable field, but his parents love him to death and are ready to support him in whatever. suzanne was probably a nightmare at pta meetings i'll be so real

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

After the park and the free falling, the Undertale characters goes to visit a farm because why not.

Undertale Sans - He keeps going and coming back in front of the cow barn. One of the cow is laying in a huge pile of hay that looks so comfortable and cosy and man, he's already tired of walking. Once everyone is focus on the guide that's giving everyone a tour, Sans vanishes in the air, teleports the cow in another part of the barn and steal its place for a well desserved nap. He even moo when his people walked in front of his cowshed so they don't suspect anything.

Undertale Papyrus - After the tour, him and Undyne stole took some food to see the horses. That's when they entered an argument to decide if yes or no the horses are unicorns that lost their corns and if they can secretly fly. Then Undyne decided to prove her theory by jumping on a horse and scream at it to fly. Papyrus is panicking, trying to reason her. The horse panicks and knocks over Papyrus in the horse mange. He is... stuck. This is so humiliating. There's just his butt out of the thing, not even touching the ground. This is the worst day of his life.

Undertale Toriel - She is the good student of the band, taking notes and asking questions so she can use all the informations to eventually organise a school trip here later. She got a bit insulted when a male goat decided to take a look under her dress, but she kicks him so hard all the animals collectively decided she was scary and she never got annoyed again.

Undertale Asgore - He wanted to know more about apiculture, but turns out the big king is really scared of bees. Gerson teased him without mercy for the rest of the trip, saying that's hilarious he thought 2500 humans in the war without blinking but is scare of a tiny little bee flying too close from his face. Asgore might or might have not made him trim on his shell and let him struggle on his back for 20 minutes like he didn't see him on the floor sometimes later. Gerson sent him 20 hives as a gift once back home.

Undertale Undyne - After riding succesfully her unicorn, Undyne realised Papyrus is... Uh... Stuck. After teasing him for ten minutes, she finally decided to help him, putting her head in the thing to try and dislocate his big skull out of here. Except when she tried to stand up, she... couldn't. There's a long awkward silence between the two of them and then they both panick, trying to escape their prison. After 30 minutes of struggling they have to agree on asking help, both humiliated.

Undertale Alphys - She was having a nice petting session with the rabbits when she got a weird call from Undyne asking her to come see the unicorns. She got confused at first but realised she might be talking about the horses. She didn't expect to find her girlfriend and Papyrus head stuck in the manger, circled by curious horses sniffing their butt and trying to eat their clothes. Now, Alphys is maybe a genious, but she not really a specialist in that. So she calls Toriel who, after trying desperatly to free them, started to be a little desperate as well. But that's fine! They have Mettaton!

Undertale Frisk - They stopped following everyone the second they spotted a litter of puppies barn dogs playing in the hay. Two hours later, they are still laying on the ground, covered in puppies, and it's the best day of their life. They smell like a puppy so much Toriel will have to fight Mama Dog to get their child back. Frisk is screaming to abandon them here the all time, which doesn't really help.

Undertale Chara - They were visiting the cowbarn when they find Sans deeply asleep in the hay. Now, they're not in conflict anymore, but Chara can't miss an opportunity like this. She picks black paint and draws spots on him, like a cow. They then grab one of the cow bell and slowly tie it around his neck, before tying his new collar to a lounge and then to a pillar. Here you go. Sans noticed nothing (well, they thought, until they found a cow tail tied to their butt in the car later).

Undertale Mettaton - After a rich conversation with the farmer in a try to borrow the farm for one of his movies, Mettaton got a rescue call from Alphys. Well, they didn't expected to find the captain of the royal guard and his biggest fan like this, but that's ok, this is why he has laser eyes. As soon as he says that proudly, Undyne and Papyrus starts to panic, trashing and screaming to not do it, which may have hurt Mettaton's huge ego a little. Oh well, he's doing it anyway. Papyrus saw his life flash in front of his eyes when Metatton almost cut his head off. His scarf is ruined though. And a big part of Undyne's hair as well. She is not too happy about it. Mettaton, offended they are not thanking him, leave the place.

Undertale Gaster - He had the bad idea to pet a goat. The goat absorbed his hand, and now he is being entirely absorbed because he's goop. He's screaming for help, but, apart from Asgore who tried to avoid this and couldn't get a reach on him, no one came. He gets slowly absorbed while Asgore is watching sadly. Asgore tells him that's ok because if there's a way in there's a way out. Gaster begs him to kill him again.

Undertale Grillby - He wants to pet the animals but the animals are not too happy about this living burning thing trying to touch them. Since all the animals were running away during the tour, he got left behind to keep company to the sandwiches. Then a goose came and bullied him until he gives in the sandwiches to it. This is not the best day to be a fire elemental...

Undertale Muffet - She's here for business. She always need supplies for her bakery and what best than a farm for that. She is negociating a contract with the farmer after the tour, and legends said they are still not out of room as Muffet is tormenting them to have a better lower price and won't let go of it.

Undertale Burgerpants - He was having a philosophic conversation with a pig, then all the other pigs came to listen to him. Now he is crying and telling them everything Mettaton did to him and that it can't keep going like this. Toriel finds him later curled up in the enclosure, crying and hugging one of the piggies. Great.

Undertale Flowey - He's in the chicken coop, causing chaos. Eggs and feathers are flying everywhere as he is laughing hysterically, throwing pellets at the chicken to see them run in panic everywhere around him. Well, that's it until a turkey decided it was enough and charged him. Flowey realised he messed up really bad when the thing started to run after him in the whole farm, refusing to let him go. Flowey hates to do this, but he's definitely running to Mommy Toriel, out of reach on her arm. Toriel is wondering why this turkey is following them. What he doesn't know is that the turkey managed to sneak into the car too.

Undertale Gerson - He's giving funny names to the animals and stops to pet some here and then. He can see him live in this place in his old age. He just doesn't know how to tell the farmer they will buy the place when they're dead because he's going to live at least 300 years older than them anyway. There's no good way to say that.

[flowers-and-pollen]

Sometimes i forget how beautiful the place i live in really is. A few days ago i was walking back home through the shaded path and i looked back at the path and went 'wow' bc i was suddenly hit with realization that the place i live in is fucking beautiful and i never want to forget that

(You can see a bit of my house's green fence on the right side of the photo)

honestly the human brain is so small that you *will* forget how much beauty there is out there to experience unless you leave your house every three days. ik its fucked up but i promise its true

[mikaelalai-ardn516]

FINAL 12 IMAGES

Image 1: Turanga sign

This is a sign in front of one of my neighbour's house that says Turanga. Not sure what the bottom half of the sign says but I think it is a reference to the Turanga Creek which the Whitford township is founded on. Thought this was appropriate to start the series as it shows where in the world I am. Mid-shot, leading lines.

Image 2: Bee farms

As I walked along my road, I discovered that there were bee farms at the front of one of my neighbour's house. I wanted to include this image as I didn't even know that we had that on our street and I thought it showcased the different hobbies or jobs that people could have on the farm.

Image 3: Horse

Everyday I drive past these 3 horses that graze in a pasture but I have never actually stopped to look at them before. When I went to take photos of them, the horses actually ran away from me but after waiting for 10 minutes, the horses came back and I was able to capture a photo of this horse baring its teeth at me. As there was a foal, I think the two other horses were trying to protect it from me. To take this photo I used a macro lens. Horizontal lines. Horse in between the trees in the background.

Image 4: Malcolm

This is a photograph of Malcolm. He owns a lot of cattle which graze in pastures all along Trig Road. It is common to see him and/or his wife driving along the road on their quad bike. He is a big part of our community.

Image 5: Tire marks

Muddy tire marks that have been printed into the ground. Trucks, cars, quad bikes, many vehicles pass through our road. The road is quiet and empty most of the time, but when you look at the ground you can see the traces of human activity left behind.

Image 6: Cattle

There are many cows that graze along our street including at my house. I wanted to include a mixture of shots so I tried to take a close up using a macro lens. Shallow depth of field. I decided to focus on the registration tag of the cow as it shows who owns the cows and where in the country they are located. I thought it was necessary to include an image of a cow in my portfolio as they are so common on my road. Even if you can't see them, you can probably hear them from afar.

Image 7: Fence

This photograph of a fence and gate is located at my house. Using the fence as a leading line to draw the viewers attention to the gate and the soil. You can see the way that the soil has been pugged (damaged) from the years of grazing that has happened on our land. The land changing over time.

Image 8: Sheep

When I approached the herd of sheep to try take photos of them, they all ran away from me. The only sheep that didn't run from me and actually tried to approach me was the only black sheep among the white sheep which I thought was funny. I took the photo through the fence and put my settings on a shallow depth of field so that the sheep was clear. horizontal lines with the fence. The fence also shows context of how the sheep are situated on my road.

Image 9: Chicken coop

A photograph of a chicken coop that my dad built for when we used to own chickens. It is now neglected and overgrown as we haven't needed to use it in a few years. Throughout my street I have noticed structures that have been built for the different animals. Some our upkept and some appear neglected.

Image 10: Buu An Lai

This is my father as he works on renovations around our house. I chose to photograph him because for all of my life, I have witnessed renovations wherever we have lived. I have family members who are builders or work in other hands on careers. In my world this is something I am very used to. I have noticed on my road that some of the community is also very hands on. Such as Malcolm, mentioned before, I have neighbours who work outside or care for the farm animals.

Image 11: Burning Pile

This is a burning pile that sits in my backyard. It is common to see smoke sometimes while passing through my road as people burn things. I noticed a lot of people have these piles in their yard. It is a common sight.

Image 12: Construction

This is a photograph of construction on my road. As I learnt about how farmland has been altered to make way for pastures, I thought it would be interesting to photograph how a a big section of trees had been cut down in the background and then the land was sold so that people can now build houses there. A few years ago, there was a forest of pine trees and I witnessed in real time when they cut down a bunch of those trees. The natural landscape had been altered to make way for pastures and now the land is altered again for development.

[a-whisper-in-the-closet]

Every once in a while I get reminded of how us humans don't really interact with other living beings, (or even just other animals,) the same way all across the board.

Some of us coddle them like an infant, some of us act like they're a toy, some of us act like they're a trophy, some of us expect them to listen to us and understand, some of us are afraid, and you'll rarely see a human act the same way to any living being across the board either. It's strange to me.

I see a cat and I think "This is like a human, but with different bones and a strange diet and no way of speaking my human words yet might be able to understand many of them if they can hear and be taught them," just the same way I look at a dog or a horse or a cow or a rabbit or a bee or a fly or a wasp or a flower or a tree. A tree can communicate that it is sick by looking sickly just as a dog can communicate that it is sick by whining and not eating well just as a human can communicat that it is sick by saying that it needs help in those similar manners.

I see that I am human, (I have a human mouth and a human nose and human eyes and human ears and a human brain with human lungs and a human throat and human kidneys and a human liver and a human pancreas and a human heart,) and I can see that I am different from a crow because a crow needs to eat different things and can eat things I never could and I still think of a crow as yet another person.

The apples in my refrigerator are apple tree ovaries that I will eat because I am hungry and the chicken that I feed my cat was alive and the songbirds that were killed by the bluejay family for nesting near my house were a family; this is life. I am alive because I kill and I kill because I want to live. I do not even need to live, but I selfishly want to so I do. I kill and I eat and I step on pheromone trails that the ants that were marching a few metres away needed to find their way home; I live and I kill and I am a murderer of a lackadaisical sort. My existence is another's sorrow because I will always be killing something if I live, my feet are too big to never kick the anthill under the grass that I did not see or step on the house flie stuck in sap I had not noticed until I took off my shoes.

This, of course, is not to say that I do not value life, but it is to say that I know death. I walk it, breathe it, live it, at all times. I know how valuable my life is, how much I love myself and the things I love, so I can understand how much someone can love someone or something that is close to them. If I can love my dog enough that I would let myself be tortured to keep him safe, how much would another do to let someone they intimately love live? I am sure a flie mourns something, even if that something is itself. I am sure my dog wakes up each day with some happiness or anger or other emotion because I know that he changes his wants in the morning; sometimes it is a walk and sometimes it is food and sometimes he buries his head into my body and I can almost feel him sob. He is sad sometimes and my rat mourned his brother for weeks by eating less and sitting unmovingly in my arms. How could I see these animals express love and joy and hope and sadness and fear and hunger and pride and never once consider that maybe they truly do know what I am saying when I tell them how much I love them? How much they would suffer if they ever thought I was a keeper and not a friend?

It confuses me that anyone would look at grass or trees or fungal systems with communication networks that tell each other how to live and who is there or if they are in pain and not see a person. What is a person if not a chemical soup filled with electricity and liquids that ooze to create different chemical reactions? What is the reason that we eat if not to fuel our organic computer with the necessary reactants? It is just as a bird will pull a worm that we will pick an apple from a tree and none of those four are any higher than the other, it is just the way of the world that works and trees will eat the dead.

I don't particularly gain joy from eating a person or what could have been so but instead gain a sort of sacredness to meals; these people suffered for my meal, both in having died and having lived, and have experienced an end that I can only wish was okay. I can only hope and wish that the person I have let die for my life to continue did not suffer too much before it slipped away and so I will. That being would have killed just as I have but I wish for it to have lived a life in which it could have some form of comfort. I hope that this thing or these things, all which lie on my plate, will be and have been able to die peaceably enough.

It's a slightly hopeless request, food being farmed in an industry practice built on profit instead of health and wellbeing, but I can still have it.

I guess all of this is to say that humans confuse me. I love my rat as I would my best friends as I would a stranger from India as I would a fire ant as I would a poplar tree. I love them all dearly and truly, even if they can scare me or hurt me, and I would give my life to keep these people from harm. It confuses me to value any one person over another, even if I accept it as truth.

[ttuesday]

Following on from your comfot/cuddle HC post. Could you do something short about Bill cheering the reader up with his story of how he found chocolate in his beard please?

🐄 <- Here is a moo cow for your troubles.

Love you lots ☕

I love moo cow. I will cuddle moo cow every night as I drift off to sleep <3

Word Count: ~920

You had a bad day. Actually scratch that, it wasn't a bad day, it was a terrible day. You went on a job with Arthur and Javier. It was supposed to be simple. While you held the driver at gunpoint, Arthur was going to loot the inside of the stagecoach while Javier focused on the lockbox at the back. 

Your job was the easiest. You just had to hold the gun up and say a few threats every now and again to the scared driver. And that's exactly what you did. You were actually pretty impressed with how menacing you sounded as you shouted your threats at the driver. But that's when it happened.

A stupid, fuzzy little bee decided it would be a good idea to fly around your head. You only lost your focus for a few seconds but that gave the driver enough time to flick the horse's reins and take off.

You stumbled out of the way as the coach sped past you and down the road. It all happened so fast, you didn't even think of firing your gun. Javier stood where the back of the coach once was with wide, astonished eyes. Slowly, Javier said "Is Arthur still in there?".

As if on queue, the pair of you watched as off in the distant, Arthur jumped out of the racing stagecoach and rolled along the ground.

Javier thought the whole thing was funny. Arthur was grumpy and found it frustrating since the coach managed to get away. And guess who he blamed? No, not the bee. He blamed you. And he complained about it the entire ride back to camp.

Once you hitched up your horse, you avoided going near the middle of camp. Arthur walked towards Dutch to presumably tell him about the job and Javier was already by the campfire and telling Uncle and Pearson about what happened.

You hung your head low as you made your way over to the water. Thankfully, there was no one by the shore and you hoped the others wouldn’t notice you over there. The last thing you needed to hear was Dutch or Uncle’s opinion on how badly you fucked up the job.

You sat on the dirty ground and ran your fingers along your scalp, pushing stray hairs out of your face. They weren’t going to let you live this down for a very long time. Javier’s laugh drifted through camp and you groaned when you heard it. At least he found your mistake amusing.

You weren’t sure how much time passed as you sat there, replaying the job over and over again in your head. You didn’t care about how long you were out there, you preferred being alone than listening to them laugh at you.

“What’re you doing out here?” Bill stopped beside you with a rifle slung over his shoulder and his hat crooked on his head. You sighed, waiting for him to mention the bee. “I just needed some time to myself” you tried to put on a brave face.

“You seem… off” he said, sitting down next to you and placing the rifle by his side. “Did you eat some of Pearson’s stew?” Bill guessed “Cause I think it’s the same stew from about two weeks ago and he just warms it up”.

You smiled weakly “It’s not that, it’s the job I went on today with Javier and Arthur”.

“Oh” Bill shifted on the ground, trying to get comfortable.

“Yeah I’ve heard everyone laughing about it” your voice tightened and you weren’t sure whether you were angry or about to cry.

“I-I haven’t heard anything,” Bill defended himself “I’ve been out on watch”. You felt even worse than before. You sighed, burying your head in your hands “Shit, sorry I just presumed you heard about it by now”.

“It’s alright, besides everyone messes up” he shrugged “hell, some of the fellers still mention the time I messed up the dynamite when we was robbing Cornwall’s train”.

You nodded, thinking back to the times Micah and Dutch made snide remarks about Bill fucking that up. “Yeah, they can be assholes sometimes” you said. 

“Oh, I know what’ll cheer you up” Bill put his hand into his pocket and dug around for a few seconds before pulling out a chocolate bar. A small smile tugged at your lips. “I guess that might help a little bit” you agreed. 

As you began munching on some of the chocolate, Bill picked up a piece and eyed it for a second. “You know, the other night I was scratching my beard while Dutch was telling us about Tahiti and I felt something drop on my lap,” he recalled “and then when I looked down, I saw a piece of chocolate like this. Heh, I remember Dutch stopped talking and asked me if it fell out my mouth or if I had it stored in my beard in case I wanted a midnight snack”.

After a moment’s silence, you burst out laughing. “Did that really happen?” you giggled. “Honest!” swore Bill “y-you can even ask Dutch, I’m sure he’ll tell you about it”. 

Feeling better about your mistake, you leaned your head against Bill’s shoulder and looked out at the peaceful lake. “Thanks” you mumbled, popping another bit of chocolate into your mouth. 

“Oh uh, don’t worry,” said Bill “this ain’t my beard chocolate, I got this from the general store today”. You laughed again and you began to forget about your earlier mishap.

[shyrose57]

Updated Deities Of Mizu thing:

Things:

Origin myths are how the people of Mizu, and related cities believe the gods came to be. They weren’t actually spirits or born from the sky, but over time, history distorts, and it’s not like it hurts anything.

Most of Mizu’s history is actually pretty accurate, and untwisted. The deities stepped in and set things straight, once they realized what had happened. 

Most, because some of it was pretty funny and harmless, so they just didn’t say anything about it. 

The city of Subbin worships a different Pantheon(unsure which it consist of yet).

Mizu’s pantheon is known to appear quite frequently to them, and become close with it’s mortals. 

Despite some beliefs, they don’t actually live within Mizu, for all they visit often. They reside in a separate dimension they all created together, and can leave freely.

Gods/Deities:

Tommy: 

Head of the Mizu Pantheon, and god of mischief and discord, perseverance through hardships, and companionship and bonds. 

Typically depicted as a scarred teenager with red string around his arms, and stars scattered along his body. Sometimes, he also sports wings on his back, or red horns and a spade-tipped tail. 

Sacred animals are cows and moths.

Origin myth: He was originally a minor spirit of discord, born from a shard of Dream’s power. They say, entranced by the stars, he hauled himself into the sky, and the stars were so awed by his determination that they immediately embraced him as a brother, turning him into a god.

Closely tied with the other three minors, as a god of the Red String, he is represented as the string itself. 

Tubbo:

Tommy’s counterpart, and partner in leading the Pantheon. God of the community, kindness and reconciliation, and hard work and reward. 

Typically depicted as a younger boy, though that’s about the only thing that stays the same. Sometimes, he has curly ram/deer horns, and goat feet. Other times, it’s transparent wings, or snow dusted hair. 

Sacred animals are bees and deer. 

Origin myth: Ties into Tommy’s. Once a forest satyr, he was close friends with the chaos spirit, and stayed in the sea beneath him, ready to catch the other if he slipped. When Tommy looked down and saw the other waiting, ever unwilling to part, he tossed down a glass of honey, with the remains of stars mixed into it, and told him to drink it. Tubbo did, and his blood was burned gold. 

Closely tied with the other three minors, as a god of the Red String, he is represented as the knot tying two people together. 

Ranboo:

God of sentiment, loyalty to people and memory, and mind and soul. 

Typically depicted as either a tall, faceless figure split down the middle, or a strange, reptilian creature with glowing purple eyes. 

Sacred animals are enderman and cats. 

Origin myth: Currently undecided.

Closely tied with the other three minors, as a god of the Red String, he is represented as the weaver of the thread itself.

Purpled: 

God of value and worth, strategy, and riches.

Typically depicted as a shadowed figure in armor, with purple jewels decorating him. On some occasions though, he is shown as a purple eyed wolf instead, with a golden necklace around his neck.

Sacred animals are wolves.

Origin myth: Currently undecided.

Closely tied with the other three minors, as a god of the Red String, he is represented as the scissors that cut the thread when necessary.

Dream:

The original deity, and god of change, chaos, and order, and formerly, the End.

Typically depicted as a giant covered in a bloodied cloak and porcelain mask, with an axe upon his back, and chains on his wrists.

Sacred animal are horses and cats.

Origin myth: Came into existence when a meteor struck the Enderdragon through her chest, killing her, and from the remains of her heart, was born Dream.

George:

The second deity, and god of the Overworld, life, sentience, and rest. 

Typically depicted as a sleeping man surrounded by plants, and draped in blue. His eyes are never seen, either closed, or hidden by a pair of black and white glasses.

Sacred animals are dolphins and butterflies.

Origin myth: Came into existence when a lonely Dream began to cry, and his tears spilled onto a lifeless planet, creating the Overworld, and George along with it.

Bad:

God of the Nether, chaos, marriage, and brides, it’s unclear whether he existed before Dream, or after George. 

Typically depicted as a looming, demonic shadow with a crown of bone, and glowing white eyes.

Sacred animal is the wither skeleton.

Origin myth: Undecided.

Married to Skeppy.

Skeppy:

God of caverns and ores, mirth, magic, and mastery.

Typically depicted as either a figure draped in diamond jewelry and a veil, or a figure made or diamond.

Sacred animal is the bat, and the diamond golem.

Origin myth: Undecided.

Married to Bad.

Puffy:

God of the seas, motherhood, and release(of your emotions, of your past, ect).

Typically depicted as a sheep-headed woman, with an axe and a cutlass strapped over her back, and colorful ribbons in her hair.

Sacred animal is the otter.

Origin myth: Undecided.

Married to Niki.

Niki: 

God of spring, battle, victory, and retribution.

Can be depicted in two very different ways. One, as a brown haired maiden, with strands of pale golden flowers framing her face. Or two, as an armored lady, with pink hair that turns to streams of blood toward the end, and baring a tattered cloak on her shoulders, a sword on her hip, and a dagger hidden on her back.

Sacred animal is the fox and the dog.

Origin myth: Undecided.

Married to Puffy.

Quackity:

God of law, order, the married, and the widowed.

Typically depicted as an one-eyed elderly man baring books of law and politics in hand, but also as a golden winged being with a lop-sided halo covering his right eye.

Sacred animal is the crane, and the canary.

Origin myth: Undecided.

Said to be formerly married to the spirit Sapnap, and the nymph Karl.

Others:

Sapnap:

Technically not a deity? A powerful spirit born to the Nether God, Bad, his domain falls over that of both humanity, and flame. Have up his life to imprison Dream.

Typically depicted as a humanoid made of flame, with ghostly white eyes, and red thread looped through his fingers.

Has no sacred animals, but is, for some reason, closely associated with cod fish, as well as blazes.

Origin myth: Undecided.

Drista:

The pseudo-sister of Dream, who played a heavy role in his imprisonment.

Typically depicted as a short figure wearing a grinning mask.

Associated with geese, for some reason.

Origin myth: Undecided.

Fundy:

A fox turned human/spirit who’s closely tied with Niki and Ranboo.

Typically depicted as a fox-like person, or fox hybrid.

Associated with foxes.

Origin myth: One day, in the remains of her battlefield, Niki came across a young fox kit that had been caught in the crossfire and killed. Feeling remorse for the death, she went to George and had him revive it into a boy, who Niki took and raised as her own.

Harbringer of fall.

Wilbur:

Some sort of fallen god or titan, perhaps? Little is known about him, besides the mentions in the Disc Saga, and a day of mourning meant in his honor.

No depictions. There’s no pictures or descriptions of this strange being.

Origin myth: Undecided/Unknown.

Ghostbur:

A sea spirit who’s widely honored as Mizu’s number one historian, and preserver of history.

Associations with blue sheep and salmon.

Typically depicted as a reclining man upon the shore, where his legs should be hidden by seafoam. His eyes are a bright sea-blue, and his lips are tinged. 

Origin myth: Undecided.

[lailoken]

“Elder (Sambucus nigra), also known as boor or bour tree.

Elder is one of the most enigmatic plants in British folk tradition. On one hand it is feared and associated with WITCHES and on the other it is valued for its protective qualities, as a fly repellent, and for its use in many herbal remedies.

The whole plant hath a narcotic smell; it is not well to sleep under its shade. [Withering, 1776: 186]

[In Leitrim, Waterford and the south of Ireland] the elder or 'bore' tree is believed to have been the tree from which Judas Iscariot hanged himself. The proof of which is the fact that its leaves have an 'ugly smell', and, moreover, that its fruit has since degenerated from its original size and excellent flavour, and become worthless both as to size and taste. [Anon., 1916: 425]

It was said at Beckley that if you burn elder wood you will become bewitched. You never cut it down. In Wootton they say that the elder is a witch tree. You should not mend a wattle hedge with it, as it will give the witches power. If you cut it, it will bleed. [Oxfordshire Women's In- stitute groups, 1950s]

Unlucky to burn Tramman [elder], it is the FAIRIES’ tree. [Lezayre, Isle of Man, c.1975; Manx Folklife Survey]

Normally in the Isle of Man elder is the fairies' tree which is unlucky to cut down, or burn when fallen. I was told in 1992 by a forestry worker of his pleasure that a large elder had blown over into the field adjoining his garden and thus relieved him of the need to find someone willing to remove it. [Union Mills, Isle of Man, October 1993]

Elder flowers—it is alright to pick the flowers for wine or culinary use, but the tree is a friend of witches and the wood should never come into the house. [Ashreigney, Devon, July 1983]

Elder—unlucky to bring either flowers or wood into a house: (a) because it is the witches' tree, (b) because it was believed that Judas Iscariot hanged himself from an elder tree, (c) because if you fall asleep under elder flowers the scent will poison you or you will never wake up. [Driffield, Humber- side, March 1985]

Collecting firewood from the hedges surrounding the cottage and returning happily laden, but being accused of bringing bits of elder into the house—it was considered unlucky to use these to light a fire. [Bow Street, Dyfed, October 1984]

The only unlucky plant which I have heard of is the elder tree, which the old people looked upon as unlucky. As I have heard the old people say, it was unhealthy to have an elder tree growing near the house as it was often noted the inhabitants seemed more prone to TUBERCULOSIS or 'Consumption' as it was known in Ireland in the old days. However, as TB was rampant all over the country at that time, I don't know if the belief would have any significance. My own people however would not cut down an elder bush or burn it no matter how old or rotten it was. Nor allow an elder stick in the house, and it would be an unforgivable act to strike a child or even an animal with one. [Kill Village, Co. Kildare, October 1984]

The family name dies out on the property where the elder grows in the kitchen garden. [Skibbereen, Co. Cork, January 1993]

Do you know the Rollright Stones in Oxfordshire? You can't count them; you never get the same number twice. In the next field there is a big stone called King Arthur, and there are various stones called after his Knights around. There are some elder bushes nearby. We used to go there as children on our bicycles and try to count the stones. We were told that if we picked a flower or a berry from these elderberry bushes we would be turned into stone. We used to dare each other to pick a berry or a flower, but no one ever did. [Mitcham, Surrey, May 1986]

However, in the early part of the nineteenth century:

On Midsummer Eve, when the 'eldern' tree was in blossom, it was a custom for people to come up to the King Stone and stand in a circle. Then the 'eldern' was cut, as it bled 'the King moved his head.' [Evans, 1895: 20]

Sometimes it was thought that wood, berries, or flowers could be safely taken from an elder only if the tree's permission had been sought first.

Hearing one day that a baby in a cottage close to my own was ill, I went across to see what was the matter. Baby appeared right enough, and I said so; but its mother promptly explained. 'It were all along of my maister's thick 'ed; it were in this how: t'rocker cummed off t'cradle, an' he hedn't no more gumption than to mak' a new ’un out on illerwood without axing the Old Lady's leave, an' in coorse she didn't like that, and she came and pinched t'wean that outrageous he were a'most black i' t' face; but I bashed 'un off, an putten an' esh 'un on, an' t'wean is as gallus as owt agin.' This was something quite new to me, and the clue seemed worth following up. So going home I went straight down to my backyard, where old Johnny Holmes was cutting up firewood—‘chopping kindling,' as he would have said. Watching the opportunity, I put a knot of elder-wood in the way and said, 'You are not feared of chopping that are you ?' 'Nay, he replied at once, 'I bain't feared of choppin' him, he bain't wick (alive); but if her were wick I dussn't, not without axin’ the Old Gal's leave, not if it were ever so'.. . (The words to be used are): 'Oh, them's slape enuff.' You just says, 'Owd Gal, give me of thy wood, and Oi will give some of moine, when I graws inter a tree.' [Heanley, 190I: 55]

If you chop an elder tre e or fell it, you should bow three times and say:

Old Woman, Old Woman, Give me some of your wood And when I am dead I'll give you some of mine. [Whitwick, Leicestershire, August 1983]

[Staffordshire, 1930s:] my mother said it was the thing if one wanted blossoms or fruit from an elder tree to say 'Please Mother Elder may I have .. .' [Ponsanooth, Cornwall, November 1993]

In addition to records of elder being inauspicious, there are many rec- ords of it being a beneficial, protective tree.

[In Northumberland] an old man told me that his aunt used to keep a piece of bour tree, or elder, constantly in her kist (chest) to prevent her clothes from malign influence. [Hardy, 1895: 325]

In south Wales it was deemed very dangerous to build any premises on or near the spot where an eldertree stood. In the past an elder planted before the door of a cow-shed or stable protected the cows and horses from witchcraft and sorcery. [Trevelyan, 1909: 103]

[In Scotland elder was] often planted near old crofts and cottages as protection from witches. [Webster, 1978: 342]

[In Guernsey elder] had to be planted as near as possible to the back door, the most used entrance, since it was a sacred tree and a good protection against witchcraft. [McClintock, 1987: 33]

[In Ireland] it is considered lucky to have an elderberry bush grow near your house, especially if it is "self-set'. [Bracknell, Berkshire, August 1984]

Mother used elder leaves to make a pattern on the floor-bricks. Painting around them with red paint. Making the cross with elder leaves. This was an old custom, going back to her grandmother's time, so the custom had to be continued despite the time-consuming nature of the work. [Bow Street, Dyfed, March 1984]

Elder: this was called Boortree... The leaves were boiled and the water used to dose pigs. For this purpose, and because it was supposed to be a protection against LIGHTNING, there was a tree of it at every house. It can still be seen growing in places where there are no houses now, but where houses were years ago. [Lenamore, Co. Longford, April 1991]

Family folklore passed on to me includes . . . one should plant a ROWAN and elder tree and never cut them down, in order to keep witches away. [Parkstone, Dorset, June 1991]

I can remember as a child elder growing around the wooden bottom-of-the-garden 'lavvy' at my uncle's farm near Brentwood, Essex, and many other similar loos with elder adjacent. I was told that the elder would live 'almost for ever', as if one root died off another would spring from a fallen branch or twig. They were treated with 'respect' as they kept away bad magic—no one used the word 'witches'—but the inference was there. [Yafforth, North Yorkshire, January 1990]

More usually elder trees were planted around toilets and other build ings to deter FLIES.

Elder bushes are invariably to be seen outside the dairy windows on the north side of old-fashioned farmhouses in the Midlands. This was done because elder-leaves are supposed to be very objectionable to flies, wasps and other insects, the tree thus provided both shade and protection. For the same reason a switch of elder with leaves on is used when taking or driving a swarm of bees. [N &Q, 11 ser. 12: 489, 1915]

When inspecting a slaughter house [in Cornwall] a summer or two ago, I commented on the absence of flies, and was told that this was due to a large elder bush growing some feet away and that branches of elder in any building would keep flies away. [Peter, 1915: 123]

An elderberry tree was always grown near the house—I think it was to keep flies away. [Didcot, Oxfordshire, February 1991]

According to some friends of mine elderberry bushes were planted by water butts and outside privies so that the smell would keep the flies away. [Horseheath, Cambridgeshire, April 1991]

As a youth my late father worked on the land...Often handling horses it was common practice to tie bunches of elder leaves to the harness to ward off flies. [St Osyth, Essex, February 1989]

My wife, who comes from Northumberland, tells me that her mother used to make up a concoction with elder flower when she was a child. All the family washed their faces in it to keep virulent Northumbrian midges at bay. She remembers it smelling not too pleasant, and tended to keep other children away as well, so she would take the first opportunity to wash it off! [Hexham, Northumberland, June 1988]

About twelve years ago in Girton, Cambridge, a small swarm of bees (apparently known as a 'cast') settled on a plum tree in our garden, about six feet up. A neighbour, Mr C. G. Puck (now 84 years old), a retired shepherd and lifelong beekeeper, came to collect the bees. He removed the queen bee from the swarm and placed her under a small open wooden box inverted on the ground under the tree. He then asked for a sprig of elder and laid this about nine inches above the swarm, saying that the smell of it was disliked by bees, and by the early evening all the bees had moved into the box . . . He had learned of the use of elder in this fashion from his beekeeper father, in his native village of Thriplow, south Cambridgeshire. [Girton, Cambridge, May 1988]

On the Isle of Man:

Each old cottage has a 'trammon', or elderberry tree, outside the door. This is used by the 'Phynodderree' to swing in. He is a kind of faun who can bring much luck, and even helps materially in outside work. [Daily News, 27 January 1926]

[Fairies] liked most of all to swing and play in the elder trees, and these were always thought of as fairy trees in the Isle of Man. There wasn't a house or farm that didn't have its 'tramman' tree planted by the door or in the garden 'for the fairies'. Many of them are still to be seen; the single tree will soon have grown into a thicket, hiding the old ruined house, but a sure sign that a house once stood there . . . When the wind was blowing the branches, it was then that the fairies were believed to be riding the tramman trees, but it was said that they would desert a house or a farm where the trees had been cut down. This must have happened only very rarely: no-one would cut a branch of the tramman, let alone the tree itself, but if it was done the fairies grieved. [Killip, 1975: 35]

Regardless of whether elder is considered to be malevolent or protec- tive, most of the folk beliefs associated with the tree appear to be con- cerned with its protection and preservation. Two quotations from herbalists writing in the 1940s demonstrate the value of the elder tree.

[According to my [g*psy] friend] the healingest tree that on earth do grow be the elder, them sez, and take it all round I should say 'twas. [Quelch, 1941: 78]

[Elder has] the unusual distinction of being useful in every part. [Ransom, 1949: 55]

Thus it is possible that the various folk beliefs associated with elder were due, at least in part, to efforts to protect a valuable resource.

The period when elder flowered was sometimes considered to be a time when the weather was poor. In the Basingstoke area of Hampshire this time was known as the elderbloom winter [Maida Hill, Lon- don, December 1982], while in Cheshire:

Weather prophets say that if the weather breaks while the elder-flowers are coming out, it will be soaking wet (in Cheshire parlance, drabbly) until they fade. [Hole, 1937: 49]

Francis Bacon (1561–1626) recorded: 'They say' WARTS can be removed by rubbing them 'with a Green Elder Sticke and then bury- ing the Sticke to rot in Mucke' [Bacon, 1631: 258]. Similarly:

A 15-year-old girl, writing in 1954, says that her grandfather told her to pick a small twig of elderberry, touch her warts with it, chant the words, “Wart, wart, on my knee, Please go, one, two, three” and put it 'down the toilet'. [Opie, 1959: 315]

Elder is, perhaps, the wild plant most widely used in folk medicine.

Queen of all Forest [of Dean] remedies was 'ellum blow tea'...The flowers were gathered in the spring and hung up to dry in closed paper bags ... in the kitchen ... You dared not sneeze in the winter or down came the bag, a good handful was put in a jug, covered with boiling water, covered with a tea towel, and left to infuse. One had to force this evil-smelling brew down one's throat willy-nilly. I loathed it, and to this day can recall that smell of cats which emanated from it. Poultices of the mixture were used for SPRAINS, aches, etc., in joints, also for boils and 'gathered' fingers—whitlows and so on. It seemed to be a universal panacea; the only use it didn't have was for constipation . . . Elder berries were favoured too; they were boiled up with sugar, the resulting syrup strained, bottled, and used in winter for coughs and colds . . .There is not a Forester alive over the age of 70 who does not know ellum blow tea. [Cinder- ford, Gloucestershire, November 1993]

Elder berries when fried with mutton fat are used for BOILS and ULCERS. [IFCSS MSS 414: 43, Co. Clare]

Elder root when boiled and the water drank supposed to cure RHEUMAT- ISM. [IFCSS MSS 700: 35, Co. Meath]

An infusion of elder flowers in boiling water will alleviate PILES. [Horsted Keynes, West Sussex, February 1991]

A green ointment could be made from the leaves, based on mutton fat, and the creamy white flowers made Elderflower Water for the complexion. The flowers, dried in the sun and stored in a paper bag make a good remedy to break a hard COUGH and bring up phlegm. I always pick and dry some when they are in bloom, put the full of your fingers (one hand) in a mug, pour boiling water over and let it infuse for ten minutes. A little milk or fruit juice can be added. [Lenamore, Co. Longford, April 1991]

For flus and FEVERS

40 oz whiskey bottle. Pick, clean, weigh, one pound ripe elder berries. Delete the strings (most strings anyway) using a fork, and put berries into empty bottle. Add 4 lb sugar. Top up with a bottle (or most of a bottle) of whiskey. Seal well. Store for 3 months and strain. Use strongest spirit. Dose—Strong glass of this 'Elderfire'—add hot water (as hot as possible) and drink. Take 2 or 3 spoons of honey with drink. Repeat each night (or more frequently)–usually two nights is sufficient to clear the flu/fever results guaranteed. [Killarney, Co. Kerry, September 1991]

[My mother, who was 94 when she died in 1987] used to collect elder-flower in the spring, and dried it. In the winter if we had colds or flu, the elderflower was put in a jug covered with boiling water and put on the hob to stew. At night we were given this (strained) with sugar and a few drops of peppermint oil added. We were given a teacup full of this at night, and in the morning we had to drink half a cupful of this cold mixture. It was supposed to sweat out the fever. She used to tell me how she pulled me through PNEUMONIA by poulticing with hot flannel and sips of elderflower tea, day and night. [Hill, Worcestershire, October 1991]

When my three children were small and we had wintery weather (and it can be very cold up here at the foot of the Cairngorms), I made elder-flower wine, and when it was time for them coming from school I had three cups, bowl of sugar, bottle of elderflower wine and the kettle boiling, and I gave them a tody; they never had colds or flu. [Boat-of-Garten, Inverness-shire, November 1991]

Elder flowers and berries are widely collected by makers of homemade wines. The flowers can also be used in cooking [Ó’Ceirin, 1980: o1), and the fruits have been recommended as a substitute for currants [Ransom, 1949: 55]. Elder leaves have been used as a TOBACCO substitute.

Myself, my brother and a friend always smoked elder leaves when money was not available for tailor-made cigarettes. We spent much time in the woodland of Thetford Chase, where on our regular walks we would break down, but not completely snap off, small sprigs of the elder. We found that if we severed the supply of sap completely the leaves on the sprig would dry out resulting in a hot strong smoke. We found that if the leaves remained just slightly damp they were a quite pleasant smoke. It was obviously trial and error, sometimes they remained too wet to burn properly. We would stuff the leaves very lightly into the stems of various umbellifers...We actually prefered these cigarettes to the tailor-made, but they were not available during winter. [West Stow, Suffolk, November 1992]

Elder wood is characterized by its pith, which can be easily removed.

[On Colonsay] boys aspiring to be pipers made chanters of the young branches [of elder], which are full of pith and easily bored. [McNeill, 1910: 130].

Haw-blowers are made by scooping the pith out of an elder branch. Haws are blown through these. [IFCSS MSS 700: 338, Co. Meath]

The people of the parish were able to make toy guns. They got an elder stick about one and a half feet long and scraped out the inside. Then they got a stick about the same length and made it fit into the hole and then the gun was made. [IFCSS MSS 867: 132, Co. Kilkenny]

At the the beginning of the century children in parts of Devon used to make pop-guns' out of elder: they would force a hole through the pith, and then fashion a ram-rod out of HAZEL WOOD. Chewed paper would be rammed down the hollowed elder sticks, and pressed out with considerable force. Great sport ensued. [Lafonte, 1984: 35]

There was another use for the Boor tree in olden times. A suitable length was cut and seasoned, then the white pith in the centre was scraped out, lead was then melted and poured in. When set, this made a good weapon for protection on a journey or out walking at night...My aunt who was born in 1894 remembered one man who had such a stick. [Lenamore, Co. Longford, April 1991]

[In Horsefield, Cambridgeshire] for winter feeding one beekeeper used to make little troughs out of elder wood; he cut pieces about the thickness of a finger and five or six inches long, tapered off one end and removed the pith, and used them for replenishing the bees' honey by inserting this end in the exit hole. [Parsons MSS, 1952]”

—

Oxford Dictionary of Plant-Lore

by Roy Vickery

[vrnicky]

New boys because no self control!!

I see farmtale and since i can't have a swap without the original, i decided to.. grab those universes!!

-Farmtale!

Lur (Farmtale Sans): The actual owner and "manager" of the market he and his brother have, Actually really proud of how the little job they had now is something even bigger.

I would lie if I tell that the bros switch places in the market and the farm because no, Lur loves talking with his fellows customers, yes, he still take care of the animals mostly on his "free time" but the market is his baby.

Farren (Farmtale Papyrus): The ones who harvest and get every vegetable and/or food the market need to sell them. He also takes care of his horses, cows, goats, everything, his brother is more about the chickens, ducks and pigs...

Just because Lur doesn't want to switch the market place is because Farren deals with a little of anxiety that can disappear if he works in the farm, in the dirt while if he could get to work in the market, one, he would get a little boring, two, people crowded make him really nervous to the point of scratching himself actually serious... His pup is the ones calming him down, Snow, even if its cover in mud 24/7.

-Farmswap!

Vega (farmswap Sans): A fellow carpenter and mailman! While giving the mail he also takes that advantage to give his creations like chairs, tables and even utensils made from wood, just give him his saw and a piece of wood and he can make a knife even, his hands are magical.

He doesn't stays in one place since he have to visits his customers and neighbors but that doesn't mean he couldn't stay in one place, somehow his breaks always ended up busy fixing the house and stuff, he wishes he could have enough patience like his brother to have some crops.

Carrot (farmswap Papyrus): Yes, he has some crops with carrots, like his name but his official job is being a beekeeper seeling his honey with some vegetables as well but everything is not that big as the other farm bros but sometimes they sell each others stuff, they're friends.

He likes to bother his brother while putting on a bee suit while getting the honey, it drives Vega fricking crazy, he has no regrets, the bees love him, sometimes you can find him being surrounded by bees that are not harming him, dont worry, its normal.

-Farmfell!

Nicte (farmfell Sans): The foreman! He is the one taking care of the farms of the other dudes since he is pretty good at his jobs but its weird that the guys need to leave for weeks so he just visits them sometimes and if he can help them, nice, if not, no problem at all actually.

He is never home, well yeah but not that mostly because he is always saying hello to the others with his big smile, spends more time with the horses of Farren to be honest, even if his brother have ones himself.

Balam (farmfell Papyrus): A furtive hunter in his breaks, its more about having his big ego over the clouds because man, he gets the best shots and never miss one! But his full-time job is horse tamer, the most savage ones are the most easy for him.

He has a barn with his horses that he takes care of them really nicely and even train some to be able to run in races, another point to his ego. He is the master of horses and he isn't lying about it.

And weirdly but lastly

-Outerfarm!

Garo (outerfarm Sans): He has two important jobs, one is also important to the job of Bosco and that's forestry, he takes care of the forest Bosco gets the wood and checking that new trees are growing, its more about legal thing but since he can float, yes, he can float he can go faster.

His second job that is more him, even if he receive help from his brother, floriculture! He has help a lot by the diversity of his flowers on weddings, parties, etc, he is really proud of the flowers. He sells them by himself as well.

Bosco (outerfarm Papyrus): He is the local woodcutter! He is the going to the forest to get the wood, dont worry, he plants back the trees he cut down. His big arms are for nothing, he chop down a tree and carry it back to the farm so he can cut it down in small pieces to sell it himself, mostly to Vega.

Since he sells his own wood by himself doesn't mean he don't receive the help of his bro, they help each other as much as they can.

[oh-my-may]

Captains playing minecraft with their s/o

requested: Hello! Can I request a hc of the captains (separately) playing Minecraft with their s/o? >:) 

When I saw this I honestly had to laugh because imagine? All of the boys?? Playing minecraft together?? On a big server?? THE CHAOS djsksk anyways enjoy

Also writing this really made me reminisce about my 13 year old self playing minecraft for hours, the good old days. I really miss playing this game but uni is still kicking my butt :((

Daichi Sawamura:

Okay so he had probably heard about the game from the younger boys but never had enough interest to dig into it himself? I don’t think he’s that much into video games

But when he saw you play it he got very invested for some reason?? So he came up behind you, his head very close to your shoulder as you explained the game to him

And he got so fascinated because?? You can basically create your own life there! It’s so cool! So he gets his own laptop and installs the game and starts to play with you in your world

And frankly at first he’s so shocked and scared at night because there’s monsters?? You have to fight them??

He probably dies like 3 times the first time and you always have to save him ngl

But after a while he gets used to it and he’s probably for some odd reason very good at building things? Like he can build pretty houses and stuff and you’re just like??? How???

I think he keeps it basic and is probably overwhelmed by the whole enchanting thing, he lets you do it for him because he lowkey doesn’t understand it

Also he probably gets lost in caves a lot and and accidentally dies in lava because he mines things the wrong way so he just falls down ugh what a noob

But it’s okay you love him, he always shares all his ressources with you, even when he doesn’t have a lot of them :((

Doesn’t know what’s going on most of the time but he’s got the right spirit

Kuroo Tetsurou:

Listen, he already knew about the game and played it several times because of Kenma, one of the only video games he throroughly enjoys playing

So when he saw you play it he was like !!! and just opened up his laptop and made you join his world

And he probably has a whole village built there, with little shops and stuff

He’s the kind that enslaves villagers tho ngl, there’s like 100 of them there and they all have a different occupation you know? He even gives them weird names

Has thousands of pets and animals, especially cats and they’re all named after his team mates lol

But he’s probably not that good at building nicely so all his houses are like squares or have a very weird shape? It’s confusing

The kind to “accidentally” push you into lava or just poison your or something and then laugh his ass off

Also he steals good stuff from you, like nice enchantments and diamonds and emeralds because he always immediately spends all his ressources lol

He always builds the most fascinating red stone contraptions (nerd)

Also gets jump scared whenever a creeper or another monster randomly appears in a cave

Also goes out to discover the world and doesn’t return lol

Thinks of himself as a “pro” but really he’s just one of these asshole players lol sorry

Bokuto Koutarou:

Probably has a shared server with Kuroo and learned everything from him

Gets amazed by everything in the game and loves every update - when the bees were added he was living his best life okay

Anyways would love to play with you and start a completely new world with you aaw :(

But honestly he probably trades everything with the villagers and gets just useless stuff ://

Really not good at building, he’d live in a dirt house if you’d let him

SCREAMS when he sees monsters and just blindly attacks them what mostly results in you having to do the fighting, though he also is trying his best to “protect” you

Probably build very weird stuff with red stone?? Like a rollercoaster for your pets?? He has the biggest fun with it though so you let him

(But sometimes he accidentally blows things up?? A chaotic baby)

Also he goes out to discover things and gets lost? But sometimes he comes back with the most random things like a panda? Or a tortoise? Or llamas because he killed the travelling villager? Oh well

It probably takes him forever to discover cages but for some reason he’s always very successful at it? Like he comes back with a lot of diamonds and you never know how he does it and he also doesn’t tell you

You’ll definitely have a good time playing with him

Oikawa Tooru:

He probably got into minecraft through his nephew or so and very quickly got weirdly invested, building his own world and stuff

When he’s playing with you first of all he shows everything off, bragging about all his diamonds etc

He’s weirdly competetive about the game?? Like who finds diamonds first in the cave or things like that?? Boy that’s not what the game is about

Probably has a very fancy looking character? Like he invested a lot of time into making a customed one and he’s very proud of it?

Also he plays on different servers, playing stuff like hide & seek and stuff and he always curses at the “damned children” playing this game

Anyways, he tries to make his house and stuff look really pretty with all different kinds of flowers. he spends hours making personal flags and stuff, cute

Of course he has a farm but refuses to get cows because they remind him of Kageyama oops

When you’re playing together and you’re about to go into the Nether or a cave or something, he insists of going ahead to “protect” you from whatever will await you (yes, that also means he died quite some times)

Once got killed by an iron golem

Is not that good at fighting monsters and rather lets you do that, he definitely has some trauma including a creeper blowing up his beautiful house

Ushijima Wakatoshi:

Okay, he probably knew something like that existed because Tendou or other team members, but always turned down when they invited him to play

When he saw you play the game one day he actually thought you were playing a children’s game at first?? Because of the blocks?? He thinks it looks really odd

For a while he just sits next to you and watches and gets really interested when you show him your tiny farm. He’s really amazed by the fact that pigs, chickens, cows etc exist there

So he’s determined to create his own little farm (our precious farm boy <3) when you let him join your world

Honestly he probably doesn’t care about the monsters and stuff like the nether etc, he just wants live his peaceful farm life

Sometimes you take him on discovery travels with you and then he goes wandering off and he always comes back with nice stuff?? He has like a sixth sense for finding villages and temples for some reason

Probably builds Shiratorizawa at some point when he’s playing the game, like he makes the entire campus? Including the horses and the school building and a detailed embodiment of the gym??

He invites Oikawa over and the first thing poor Tooru sees is a giant sign saying “You should have come to Shiratorizawa” along with the school campus and Ushijima standing in front of it... Yeah he leaves immediately.

He doesn’t understand what’s going on when a village gets raided, probbaly gets killed 50 times trying to escape whatever the hell is going on and you have to help him out of his misery :((

A peaceful farmer, probably never plays until the end

[comeandreadawhile]

More of the (Esme) Cullen Farm

You guys really seemed to like the last list: well I’ve got more for ya so here we go again!

Rosalie’s pig has a giant dog bed both in Rose and Emmett’s room, and in the garage so she can hang out while Rose works without being on the cold floor.

Most of the human food they buy for appearances has now been converted to animal treats; the pig gets greenbeans, Jasper’s horse gets the carrots, the entire family loves watching the new ducks battle for frozen peas and seeing Edward get chased by the chickens because he won’t just drop the corn.  

They love loading up the dogs and taking them for fast, windows-down  drives (fast within reason now).  

Esme brings the dogs to the hospital with her when she visits.  She likes bringing them to sit with the sick kids, and to give Carlisle a boost during a long shift. 

A pond was added to the property when Esme decided she also wanted ducks.  Emmett stuck his hand in a hole after the pond settled (maybe there’s catfish, he says, despite there only being minnows and a mile between the farm and a river).  Edward had to explain to a wildlife vet why they had an injured (and traumatized) snapping turtle in a laundry basket.  Emmett had to hide the little chip taken out of his finger while it healed. 

Alice is one with the chickens.

Jasper and Emmett wear gloves when handling the short haired animals so they don’t spook from the sudden cold.  If you don’t like having a cold water bottle randomly pressed to your neck then you understand the horse and cows are grateful for this.  

The goats try to climb Emmett.

Edward broods in the rabbit house.

The barn cat finds Esme or Jasper whenever she needs a break from her kittens.  Or if more readily available she climbs on Carlisle, she likes playing with his scarves.  

Kittens just pop out of Jasper’s shirt and/or pocket sometimes.  If he’s babysitting then he’s babysitting. They ride on his shoulders or in his jacket hoods, they don’t care.  

Edward is very uptight about how many treats the rabbits get, and what kind they are, and that they can only have this one special bedding, and etc.  The family has decided all rabbit care will be Edward’s job.  

Emmett likes shaving cute designs on the cows.  Nothing too fancy, usually stars and hearts and such once the sheep are sheared. The horse sometimes gets a design too if Jasper agrees. 

Esme also keeps bees because she might as well and they need all the help they can get.  She even tries to keep more than one species, just with enough in-between areafor them not to fight.  The honey gets sold with the other market goods, but she mainly enjoys seeing the colonies grow.  She was beaming when a bumblebee queen entered one of the artificial underground hives. The living room got a hexagon inspired makeover that week. 

Sometimes hawks nab one of the birds and it’s a toss-up on whether Esme sticks an egg clutch under a chicken or just raises the eggs herself.

The sheep can tell if the sweaters and vests the boys wear are made from their wool, and they look right smug that they were able to help warm their humans(?).  

On the other hand they try to eat the woolen designer brands Alice buys for the family.   Except for Jasper’s; they never inconvenience Jasper.  Emmett’s wool socks are fair game though.  

The horse sticks it’s head in the house when it wants snacks.

Carlisle’s dogs run around and play with the cows when the sheep aren’t needing tended to.  They love when Emmett throws them a ball.

At this point the animals don’t even react to baseball in the pasture anymore.  Who cares if there’s loud noise?  It’s just their humans(?).

[tubb0]

stream liveblog: tommyinnit 8/22

I woke up literally a minute before he started so thats cool

he’s in a mood

he says he’s going to spend more time editing his videos (and upload less)

he also says his plan is two smp videos and then ‘something cool. something you might recognize’ 👀

oh so someone is building a tesck to compete with walmart. good.

theres a nether protal in tommys tower. he is not pleased

I just woke up idk whos been doing stuff but they’ve been quite busy

tommy is upset that tubbo was streaming with someone who ‘stole his brand’ (wearing a red t-shirt)

chat says his name is also tom

now hes in call with tubbo, yelling

‘you’re not just gonna go speak to this guy with more red in his shirt than me’

oh he hung up on tubbo

shippers will have a fierld day with this one (I desperately hope they don’t exist since these are children but yknow I’m sure they do)

you can see the corner of tommys bed when he fullscreens his facecam. he doesn’t have sheets or a mattress cover on his bed. do what you will with this (unless its weird then please dont)

tubbo_ has joined the game

tommy says he will ghost tubbo

also hey its fine to have a crush on tommy if you’re around his age but you dont have be weird and pushy about it

tubbo is doing the sad walk and tommy shot him

tommy: best friendship ended with tubbo. jack manifold is my new best friend

tubbo_ has left the game

chat is babying tubbo again :/

tubbo_ has joined the game

<tubbo_> sorry

tubbo_ has left the game

‘I always knew this day would come. thats why I was always mean to tubbo. I knew he would rob me.’

tubbo_ has joined the game

he left again... his spaghetti is ready

tommy is thinking of ways to but tubbo to work in order for them to earn back his friendship

wait did ponk steak tommys horse? I thought bbh did

anyways retrieve horsechamp

chat says niki lost ylyl because of tommy

wilbur was not pleased that she finds him funny (joking of course)

anyway niki is so pretty

it has just clicked for tommy that the horse is in fact his horse

oh hes on the run

tubbo has returned from eating his poggers spaghetti

tommy is stuck in a hole

tubbo: you know the pope? anyway heres my bee box!

tubbo keeps talking about the pope

tubbo has decided he doesn’t need tommys friendship and left the game

tommy says hes ‘like dream. his only friends are the numbers.’

he called tubbo and theyre both yelling now

tubbo claims to want more mature friends than tommy

tommy is accusing tubbo of being on drugs

the pope returns

‘this is like a divorce’ ‘yeah except I dont care’

they spent a second questioning catholicism

tubbo please why do you keep talking about the pope

tubbo brought up death and tommy shut that down real quick

tubbo out here with definitions

dream has joined the game

dream is only kind to tubbo and yet wont follow them back on twt

there something so endearing about hearing someone moving further from the mic when they laugh

chat is talking about the vlog gun so tommys watching wilburs stream

tommy: *upset about wilbur trying to break the vlog gun* tubbo: does this mean we can be together for mmc??

tommy hit tubbo of his balcony and now tubbo is regretting coming back online

tommy just murdered dream by hitting him with a minecart

ah fuck chat lost it and my streams starting to lag

skeppy is threatening to burn the doscs to avenge dreams death

tommy to tubbo: our friendship really hold this server together

did he lie?? absolutely not

deals are being made

well not really. tommy is trying to get a disc in exchange for dreams stuff

some pvp may occur

stream title has been changed to ‘war’ things are getting serious

tubbos wifi is failing us

oh the boys are fighting

a few thing happened in so little time but to summarize the way that tommy and tubbo trust eachother and silently cooperate is very cool. I aspire for this friendship.

for some reason its always so weird to me when I hear just dream talking to tommy and tubbo

I think its because drram is so stubborn and assertive but tommy does not care or put up with it so no matter what dream always seems to have the lowerhand which doesn’t happen often

I’m confused why is chat making such a big deal about wilbur ending his stream

ah a confrence with president soot

the other day everyone was afraid the server was dying but this seems like the start of another war

wilbursoot has joined the game

do you ever get so caught up in the drama of these stream and then it hits you that these are just a bunch of losers playing minecraft

wilbur... to be fair tommy didnt mean to kill dream... he warned him too

oh?

wilbur whispered to tommy to run while he was negotiating with dream and I think he told tubbo to kill dream but tubbo might also just be doing that for fun idk

dreams bringing up server rules... do it. ban tommy. your server will die immediately.

wilbur has scolded tommy and now tommy is ignoring him to plot with tubbo

sapnap!

I like the dynamic between tommy, tubbo and sapnap very much

sapnap has joined the game

oh my god I have to pee

lmao dream said tommy scams him often and tommy went 😬

‘everyone will call you bream for bitch dream’

tommy gave him his stuff

oh but some was never picked up

yikes dream is actually mad

damn tommy and skeppy are really going at it

chat says skeppy had the sword that dreams mad about uh oh

hehe tommy is very funny

tubbo is bargaining for tommy since dream killed him and is threatening his cow

if chat is right and skeppy actually has the sword hes pretty good at kying because I believe him but also I don’t know him well so

tommy is telling tubbo to kill skeppy now

aw skeppys stream sniping thats no fun

but anyway was that not the sword dream was looking for that tommy just showed in the chest????

so is sapnap on their side now? I think I missed something

no chat seems just as confused as me so

sapnap about betraying dream: it just seemed interesting idk

I think hes lying

chat has a point... I cant tell if tommy doesn’t realize or doesnt care that dream is watching his stream

wait that was cool

dream pearled away from sapnap but tommy saw the pearl and waited there so he could attack

ok but anyway while theyre chasing eachother around how did the minecart kill dream?? I’m pretty sure it does no damage and if I’m wrong dream was still in enchanted netherite and I doubt he was running around on like half a heart... unless he just did a /kill on himself for the drama??

tubbo broke all the ender chests and put them inside one... hes so smart

oh ok so tommy doesn’t care if dream is watching

fuck a bug flew in my eye

ponk and skeppy just reading the deaths in chat and making small comments lol

tubbo what

sapnap please

I’m very glad dream isnt in vc anymore because I bet he’s very upset and he gets scary sometimes

dont get me wrong I love him but yknow

oh no sapnap dont :(

tommy is getting so nervous about tubbos wifi going out because then itll be him against everyone else online lmao

tubbo: our relationship cannot be toxic because I am not in love with you :))

no tubbo not the pope again

tubbo please my head hurts

woah tubbo just killed tubbo while dream started killing him

oh he logged out and now dream is killing tommy

at this point dream is purposely not communicating with tommy and I’m getting nervous

oh hes back

go tubbo go

yknow what a man can do with 55 sticks?

tubbo accidentally locked himself in jail lmao

tommy is calling dream clay

he does not care

dream logged out (unrelated to above statements)

woah wait what tubbo is leading tommy somewhere secret that he cant even show on stream

tubbo you genius what do you have planned

tommy is playing his vlog to entertain stream while tubbo directs him to the secret

wtf tubbo

also they said sounds have to be off so I think the location might be in the nether or something because sounds will apparently give it away

dying is the only way they can leave??? but it cant be the end though right?

cuz like the achievements would show up

hmm

I don’t want to be too much of a snitch in case any of them actually are lurking on here but anyways tubbo is very epic

both tubbo and tommys mothers are teachers?

but they have a point dont skip your classes to watch someone play minecraft!

tubbo is such a good friend

they also say their in a tournament on the 31st so look forward to it

tommy is really throwing shade at shippers this stream. good for him.

oh and lowkey dnf shade too haha

ha tubbo almost leaked one of tommys video ideas

tubbo just wants to play fall guys

tommy is too self aware

but also he has a point. chat always sides with tubbo because they baby him

its kinda weird ngl

ahh my wifis going out :(

they’re watching the sunrise on tommys balcony while listening to blocks

oop tommy ended the stream because chat was being weird

gg tommy

anyway good stream go check it out if you havent already because I left some stuff out either because I type too slow or didn’t want to leak secrets :))

[writinggeisha]

Mandarin25 Hysterical Chinese Insults That You Should Know Today (NSFW)

Chinese insults words are different than what an English speaker may expect. What we think as some of the most insulting words in our language barely register to a Chinese speaker. Conversely, we might think some of China’s most offensive insults are actually quite funny in English. Even funnier than some of the English swear words we have.

That’s why it’s always best to study a bunch before speaking. That includes your insults. So yes, this is a time where we are going to tell you to insult and curse nonstop. With that practice, you’ll soon find out that these words can be both funny translations as well as some unexpected funny insults into Mandarin speakers.

25 Chinese Insults That You Should Know

Let’s explore some the language’s most colorful insults and what they mean to English speakers:

Animals

Chinese insults tend to incorporate animals quite often. In some instances, the term is more harmless. In other cases, they can pack a pretty hurtful punch:

1. 猪头 (zhū tóu) — “Pig head”

This is one that English speakers should have no problem recognizing. Around the world it seems that a pig’s head is known for the symbol or being stubborn. Use this to describe the same typically male crowd in China as you would across the globe.

2. 吹牛  (chuī niú) — “Blowing up cow skin”

This is probably the tamest insult on the list. However, when saying a bragger is blowing up cow’s skin, you have to include it on your list. This one also ties back into history with an intriguing test of strength amongst some Mongolians.

3.  拍马屁  (pāi mă pì) — “Pat a horse’s ass”

English Speakers call it “brown nosing.” Others might say ‘kiss up.’ Regardless the term, these insults will let the person know you think that they endear themselves to higher-ups quite often. In the hard-working world in China, you can only imagine how many people have earned this distinction.

4. 狗屁 (gŏu pì) — “Dog fart”

This is Chinese’s equivalent to “bullshit” and “bollocks.” You don’t so much call someone 狗屁. Instead, you use this Chinese insults to call someone out on their b.s. Because of its tone and situational use, steer clear of using this one at work. Instead, keep this one between your friends at the pub.

5. 狐狸精 (hú li jīng) — “Fox spirit”

Foxes carry deep symbolism in Chinese culture. For women, unfortunately, this becomes an additional insult in the Chinese language. If you call someone a fox spirit, you are calling them a danger to men that possess some dark intentions.

6. 色狼 (sè láng) — “Color-seeking wolf”

If foxes are bad for women, then wolves aren’t great for older men. This Chinese insult is used to label something a predator. Though often related to a sexual nature, it can also be towards anyone preying on the young. If an older male-targeted a 小白脸, then they might be called a 色狼.

7. 王八 (biē) — “Freshwater turtle”

This is a big insult. Promiscuity is a big point in Chinese insults. Women, in particular, face a brunt of the insults. In this case, they associate the image of a turtle and its similarities to the male anatomy. However, eggs once again come into play in Chinese insults. In this case, you are using one of the most offensive ones.

8. 狗崽子 (góu zaĭ zi) — “Dog Whelp”

This is another one that would make an English speaker laugh while a Chinese person gets livid. The closest equivalent you’ll find in English is “son of a bitch.” However, in most parts of the English speaking world, this insult won’t mean much. In Chinese, it is a whole different story.

9. 兔崽子 (tù zaĭ zi)  — “Rabbit whelp”

If dog whelps are incredibly hurtful in Chinese, consider a rabbit to a slight bit less of an insult. However, it still packs a punch. Much like the previous entry, the English equivalent isn’t so hurtful while impacting Chinese speakers much more. In English, we’d use this word to call someone young a real piece of work.

10. 土鳖 (Too Bee-eh) –“Ground Beetle”

You might hear folks in Beijing, Shanghai and other major cities use this to describe out of towners. Used mostly towards China’s more rural population, this is what some English speakers might call a “fish out of the water.”

11. 死鱼眼 (Sǐ Yú Yǎn) — “Dead fish eye”

In English, you may hear that someone looks “dead behind the eyes.” In Chinese, this similar term conveys a person that looks vapid and out of reality’s touch.

Another emerging English term that also does the trick in Chinese would be Kardashian.

Chinese Insults Using Food

Much like animals, food plays a hand in both the harsh and friendlier Chinese insults. One thing is for sure, eggs mean much more than they do in English.

12. ��個叉燒都好過生你 — “It would be better to have given birth to a piece of barbecue pork instead.”

This is a common phrase used by exhausted parents. When a child is just not giving up, even a loving parent will crack. Instead of saying something truly hurtful, this mainly Cantonese insult helps blow off steam without harming the child with something actually mean.

13. 吃软饭 — “To eat soft rice”

Eating soft rice is a way of saying that a Chinese man is living off his girlfriend. In English, you might hear a “mooch” or a “sap.” When you need to tell someone that it’s time they support themselves, this is what you say.

14. 懒蛋 (lǎn dàn) — “Lazy egg”

This is an insult that veers more into the tame category. Consider this the American equivalent of calling your friend “a lazy bum.” You might hear a parent say this to a child or a girlfriend to a boyfriend. While it doesn’t pack a brutal sting, it is one of China’s many egg-themed insults.

15. hún dàn (混蛋) — “Mixed egg” or “Scumbag”

On the other side of egg-based insults, this one stings a bit. Calling someone a scumbag in any language is bound to cause some conflict. So, don’t go throwing this word around in public, or even in many private settings. That is unless you’re looking to exchange many more colorful words as a follow-up.

The More Obscure

These are some of the more hysterical insults due to their translations. Some are specific while others may leave you scratching your head. However, this is the fun of learning another language. In this section, you’ll get to learn some doozies that include some history as well.

16. 肏你祖宗十八代 (cào nǐ zǔzōng shíbā dài) — “Fuck your ancestors to the eighteenth generation”

Family and history are sacred in Chinese culture. With a long-running history, the pride you have in your family is vital. That’s why this one may seem like a comical mental image, but is one of the language’s more impactful insults. Unless you want to make a situation ugly, it’s best to avoid insulting any Chinese ancestors.

That being said, there are a couple variations of this insult that are fun to play around with. Try with a friend that won’t get offended.

17. 二百五 (èr bǎi wŭ) — “250”

You’d think that calling someone a number wouldn’t hurt, right? Yet in Chinese that isn’t the case. While this one’s definition is a bit vague, many believe it translates to calling someone not enough. This stems from the ancient Chinese currency revolving around 1,000 copper coins. Essentially, “500” was an insult for a halfwit. So, you can imagine what it felt like to be called half of that.

18. 小白脸 (xiǎo bái liǎn) — “Little white face”

A little white face typically applies to naive men. When someone hasn’t experienced much in the world, this mild insult is what Chinese speakers use. This also works to wind up so-called pretty boys and older female gold diggers. Now, imagine this being used in the famous Kanye West track.

19. 装蒜 (Joo-ang Swan) — “Wait til”

The English equivalent here would be used when calling someone dumb. However, this Chinese insult relates to the history of garlic and medicine in China. What was once considered a remedy is now a symbol for someone’s foolishness.

20. 你算哪根葱 (Nǐ Suàn Nǎ Gēn Cōng) –“Who the hell are you?”

Sometimes we all need to be reminded that we’re just a person like everyone else. In this case, you wouldn’t use this Chinese insult for when you don’t know someone. Instead, it’s more for calling someone out. If someone is acting rudely or mistreating people, this insult checks them down a bit. \

21. 绿茶婊 (Lǜ Chá Biào) –“Green Tea Bitch”

What’s so wrong with green tea?! Well, in this case, it means that what someone is presenting on the outside isn’t their true representation. If a person looks innocent on the outside but devious on the inside, the Chinese would call them a 绿茶婊.

22 – 25. Ghosts

We’ll close the list out with some of China’s most inspired uses for ‘ghost.’ As you’ve seen, objects like eggs, animals and now even the paranormal cracked the list. In Chinese, ghosts often are associated with excessive drinking. The symbol 鬼 often works itself into Chinese insults. Some ghost-based names include:

酒鬼 (jiǔguǐ) — “alcoholic”

醉鬼 (zuìguǐ) — “a drunk”

But it also can mean other negative adjectives like:

小气鬼 (xiǎoqì guǐ) — “cheap”

胆小鬼 (dǎnxiǎo guǐ) — “coward”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In case anyone is looking to add some colourful language to fics.Or real life. 😆

[volleydorkscentral]

ANSWER ALL OF THE QUESTIONS IN THE UNUSUAL ASK GAME, YOU COWARD.

First of all: 

Second, questions under the cut: 

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? - Spotify! all the way. i hoarse my bf’s account so he can never listen but i don’t care it’s mine now it’s full of my music and my playlists and whenever i’m listening to it and it suddenly changes cause he tries to use it on his phone I call him, “are you using spotify?” “oh. i mean i can listen to something else?” “cool, thanks!” and i get my music back. :D

is your room messy or clean? - it’s somewhere in between. my actual ROOM (bed room, i assume) is pretty clean, except i never make the bed. but the house is .. a work in progress. it’s not dirty but it’s cluttered so my bf and I are having to work together to clear that and build shelves and stuff for more storage space.

what color are your eyes? - dark brown! (with little green flecks when I cry)

do you like your name? why? - Not really? i don’t hate it. My mom wanted to name me Savannah but they had her sign the certificate while she was still drugged from her c-section so it ended up as Crystal?? Idk. She named her dolls Crystal when she was a kid.

what is your relationship status? - dating for almost six years. 

how many times a week do you shower? uhhh idk. I don’t shower every day (unless i get gross). AT LEAST four times… but I don’t wash my hair every time cause that’s bad for my hair. I SHOWER WHEN I AM DIRTY.

favorite tv show? does Haikyuu!! count? that’s probably a given. HM. Well, we don’t have cable so I don’t watch a lot of NEW shows? …. OH. Duh. Fuckin me I’m a dumbass. Bob’s Burgers. I literally have it on ALL THE TIME. I don’t like silence so it’s ALWAYS on in the background if i’m not listening to music. I’ve seen every episode a zillion times. I can usually pinpoint every scene and the major lines/jokes.

shoe size? most brands it’s 5 1/2 

how tall are you? SHORTER THAN NISHINOYA BUT TALLER THAN YACHI. I’m like… 5ft-5’1 depending on how much my back hurts. (i used that earlier and someone said it was funny and i’m trash so i’ll repeat it here!)

sandals or sneakers? i wear Bobs LOL. (knock off toms) and i’ve got one pair of sneakers and sometimes I wear my ballet flats around even though my bf says they look dumb fuck u they’re comfy.

do you go to the gym? No. I used to, but where I live now it’d be like a 45 min drive. I don’t really LIKE gyms though? working out is boring to me. No matter how hard I try. I’d love to start dancing again for real.

describe your dream date - April 25th because it’s not too cold and not too hot. Okay but jk that’s a lie where I live it’s balls hot in april. Idk. I’d like to go hiking when it’s not very hot? Take my dog, let her run around. Take a picnic. Sit in a grassy field and talk about dumb shit cause we know each other’s dreams and hopes by now.

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? UHM. fuck like…. $27? i know there’s a twenty and a handful of ones. And a handful of change.

what color socks are you wearing? - NONE. MY FEET ARE COLD. FOREVER COLD.

how many pillows do you sleep with? - pft like 6.

do you have a job? what do you do? - No; I quit after being over worked, under appreciated, cheated out of my paychecks a few times, and no job still due to lingering health issues.

how many friends do you have? answered this already!

whats the worst thing you have ever done? - UHM. Idk i haven’t murdered anyone. I don’t like this question cause if i really try to answer it i’ll spiral into a frustrated, furious depression and self-hatred so… NOPE.

whats your favorite candle scent? i’ve got this candle i got from etsy that’s like… Scottish Highlands? It’s grassy and kinda MAGICY.

3 favorite boy names - i don’t really have favorite names?

3 favorite girl names - answered already

favorite actor? god idk. i’m so bad with names and celebrities. uhm. I really like don’t have a favorite. I LIKE a bunch. Benedict Cumberbatch; Freddie Highmore… uhm. uh. Hugh Laurie? 

favorite actress? IDK OKAY?? I LIKE a bunch but i don’t favorite?? I really like Gwendoline Christie. Uhm. Anne Hathaway makes me laugh. MAGGIE SMITH. how could i forget!??!

who is your celebrity crush? I LEGIT don’t have one.

favorite movie? CLUE takes the top spot most days.

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to read a lot more. The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt

money or brains?  personality, bitch.

do you have a nickname? what is it? not *really* but people online used to call me Chrys. My bf calls me ‘sweetie’ sometimes but he also calls the dog that so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

how many times have you been to the hospital? - uhm. like the er? Once when I broke my arm. Doc in the box? Not since 2017.

top 10 favorite songs - PFT. Uhm. Jesus just let me die a little. Excluding all Disney; Not in any order:

No One - Biometrix

Danser - Lisandro Cuxi

A Single Moment of Sincerity (E) - Asking Alexandria (the band I was listening to when I designed my rockstar MC that I love so much)

The Annabel Trilogy (a series of 3 albums) - Alesana. Can’t pick a single song because they’re all a part of a huge story. Listen to them.

Chucky vs. The Giant Tortoise - Dance Gavin Dance

Anticoagulant - Sianvar

Ohioisonfire - Of Mice & Men

Coincidance - Handsome Dancer (Watch the Video for the love of god. THANKS ASH FOR THIS GEM)

Devil’s Backbone - The Civil Wars

Still Here - Digital Daggers (i’ve been listening it to a lot for inspiration for a new AU so… yup. That’s gonna be fun and painful)

do you take any medications daily? - yup

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) - i got dry ass skin it sucks

what is your biggest fear? - uhm… physical fear? idk. Heights is a big one that I developed? I used to not care but a while ago I was walking on a bridge and I just… looked over and got FUCKING DIZZZY with nausea and fear that I was gonna fall and almost fainted. 

how many kids do you want? - HONESTLY… one or two.

whats your go to hair style? - tried to brush but gave up so just threw it in a claw clip

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) - moderate? one story, four bedrooms. big ass yard though for the dog

who is your role model? - I don’t really have one.

what was the last compliment you received? - answered already

what was the last text you sent? - actual TEXT message? ‘as long as there’s someone with her overnight she’ll be okay during the day cause of the dog door and stuff. just play with her before you go to work and maybe hide some treats around the house for her to hunt for’ - texting my friend that’s gonna house sit while we go on a family vacation soon.

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? - UH idk the age? i know I saw my mom writing scavenger cards though. My fam has never had a lot of money so to make Christmas more interesting my mom/grandparents (we lived with them till I was in 3rd grade) would make these elaborate scavenger hunts for me and my cousins to do to find our presents around the house or out in the barn or, on one memorable occasion, at the bottom of our pool! Good memories. 

what is your dream car? - one that RUNS and has badass AC and speakers

opinion on smoking? - hate it. please don’t do it around me. my bf’s family alllllll smoke all the time and i get so sick when i have to go on vacation with them and be around it for a long time. 

do you go to college? - i DID. I went to Culinary school and majored in Baking & Pastry

what is your dream job? - Author or Dog Trainer

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? - rural as all hell. give me trees, cows, and horses. 

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Not usually? but usually the people i’m with do. 

do you have freckles? Not on my face (except one) but i’ve got more like… on my arms and just randomly all over but i dont think ‘freckles’ would be what anyone thinks of when they think of me

do you smile for pictures? - only if i’m forced to be in them

how many pictures do you have on your phone?  - HAHAHAHAHAHA. Well. Before I got my new phone it was over 10k. Now though its only about 2k. 

have you ever peed in the woods? - Only when I was camping. 

do you still watch cartoons? - ALL THE GODDAMN TIME

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? - neither. but i HATE WENDYS and can tolerate McD’s fries and they’ve got ballin’ sweet tea so I guess McD.

Favorite dipping sauce? this honey dijon creamy thing at my favorite French restaurant but idk what is is.

what do you wear to bed? - t-shirt 

have you ever won a spelling bee? - YUP. 2nd grade.  

what are your hobbies? - writing, crocheting, photography, reading, uh… i forget what else

can you draw? when i was doing it all the time i did ok? but i’m WAY TOO IMPATIENT now a days to do it. 

do you play an instrument? - no but i wish i did :(

what was the last concert you saw? - i’ve never been to a concert. crowds are icky

tea or coffee? - tea!

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? - already answered this

do you want to get married? - Yes pls

what is your crush’s first and last initial? - (bf, but I suppose i still have a crush on him? is love considered a crush?) J. Y. 

are you going to change your last name when you get married? god yes. my current last name is my shitbag of a sperm doner and i hate it. my mom kept it after they divorced only cause she thought her maiden name would be too hard for me to spell but i would give anything to have that name instead

what color looks best on you? - idk. i prefer black but i’ve been told green and certain shades of pink/yellow. 

do you miss anyone right now? - not until i thought about it, thanks

do you sleep with your door open or closed? open so my pupper can go in and out

do you believe in ghosts? not until i’m faced with darkness and creepy things 

what is your biggest pet peeve? people chewing their food loud. people not picking up after themselves. people interrupting me (but not in the excited, OMG way. that we can work though) but in the ‘i don’t care what you’re saying i’m going to talk now’ way

last person you called` - my bf to discuss plans for his brother’s bday

favorite ice cream flavor? cookies n’ cream!

regular oreos or golden oreos? DOUBLE STUFF OF EITHER

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? FUCK SPRINKLES

what shirt are you wearing? a shirt that has my dog’s face on it :D

what is your phone background? - the art that Ash drew of Bokuto from my fic Just a Taste!!

are you outgoing or shy? - i hate talking to strangers but with my friends i’m pretty fucking loud and chatty

do you like it when people play with your hair? only people i know

do you like your neighbors? nope. he’s an asshole who neglected his dog and i wanna skin him alive

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? i do my best to remember to do it at night but i always do it when i shower

have you ever been high? yup. 

have you ever been drunk? yup

last thing you ate? BIRTHDAY CAKE

favorite lyrics right now - idk? i guess the first lyrics that came to mind, even though they’re not my favorite, just ones that i like and were stuck in my head for a while: “All of the handsome fiction / will melt away / and when the flame burns brighter / Evaporate” Evaporate - Dance Gavin Dance

summer or winter?  WINTER FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. IT’S SO FUCKING HOT IN SUMMER I DIE EVERY DAY

day or night? both have their merits

dark, milk, or white chocolate? - all chocolate but i prefer white to just EAT. 

favorite month? uhm. uhh. November maybe? for NaNoWriMo. 

what is your zodiac sign - pftt.. i think i used to be a Gemini? i don’t believe in all that stuff 

who was the last person you cried in front of? - ….. my dog? but probably my mom and Grandmother when my GM basically said my bf didn’t love me and was a shit human being and i was a shit granddaughter for loving him. i was both upset and furious and i walked away from them. (my mom called and apologized, but i haven’t spoken to my GM since)

THERE ASH ARE YOU GODDAMN HAPPY. that took so long LOL (I hope the formatting came through I had to redo it on this tumblr page UGH)