#and saw many of them say that they're lesbians in their Abouts and i felt 💕 😘

[antivan-beau]

i'm kin with all lesbian zevran fans btw. we love his masculinity: we want to embody his obnoxious, over-the-top flirting and his thoughtful, cautious tenderness. we love his toughness and his trauma. we love that he's a smooth seducer who's also unselfconcious about telling stories where he fucked up and looked like an idiot. we love him in gay ways as men and we love him as women who wish men were better.

[sophieinwonderland]

Do you ever feel worn down by all the hate sysmeds perpetuate? I tend to have a problem with seeing the world as rather dystopian because of all the systemic badness in our society that seems to have no end in sight.

Sysmeds have such a chokehold on the discussion and pluralphobic singlets seem to be more plentiful than ones that aren't.

I know we're on the right side of history, I mean look a how transmedicalism was dismantled. (Sysmeds can whine all they want. There are similarities to trans issues and system issues when it comes to how sysmeds handle the discussion. This is said by a trans system. 😘😜)

Anyways, it just feels like there's no light at the end of the tunnel to turn the tides. Anywas, just some random thoughts. Thank you for reading.

Sometimes. But I don't think the dystopian view of society is fair. I mean, yes, things aren't ideal. But they generally are trending towards acceptance.

In 1977, Only 44% of people thought lesbian and gay people should be allowed to be hired as doctors. By 2019, this number rose to 91%!

Only 27% said they should be elementary school teachers.

Now that's 81%.

Only 14% said they should be allowed to adopt children compared to 77% saying they shouldn't.

Now that number is 75% to 23%

Progress happens slowly, and I'll admit that being on the right side of history is a small consolation to the people living through history.

But... I really do think we're going to be seeing progress for plurality snowballing.

As for the anti-endos... you look at the anti-endo venting blogs and the like, and you can see the seams starting to tear. You can see the anxiety in anti-endos at having mutuals turn to pro-endos. Or having their own therapists supporting endogenic systems.

When I first got to this website, the anti-endos felt in control. They had built up these powerful convictions. Their stranglehold over the community felt so strong.

Many of those have become pro-endo or at least neutral.

And now... these younger anti-endos here feel scared and desperate.

They complain that their servers are kicking them, about losing friends, about losing their "safe spaces." They've had to make multiple "safe space" blogs to house their hate because their bigotry isn't being accepted anywhere else.

I saw an undiagnosed anti-endo not too long ago complaining that their own older sibling, who was a diagnosed DID system, was pro-endo. And they whined to the vent blog anonymously that they didn't think they could "educate" their sibling on why endos are supposedly bad.

On top of all of that is the refusal to actually engage with the other side. While we're dropping sources left and right, they're hiding behind the block button every time someone presents them facts that contradict their worldview.

Anti-endos aren't going to admit it, but the sense I get from their community, at least on this site, is one that's desperately huddling together and clinging to their beliefs and hate while the rest of the world moves past them more and more each and every day.

We still have a long way to go.

But progress is happening constantly and our future is plural!

[kocch]

this is a rambling post no one is gonna read but I GOTTA WRITE IT because i've watched the whole 911 show in the past five months and never really talked about it, so i gotta say some things that are important to me (some might be unpopular opinions idk i don't really know the fandom, i've only checked the tag in the past weeks for s8 and all i can see is mostly annoying fanwars about which ship is better)

my dash could be biased and tumblr itself could be biased for mlm ships BUT WHY DID I NOT KNOW THIS SHOW HAS LESBIANS. like. i'm gonna use the few screencaps i posted here on tumblr while i was binge-watching the show buT

they're everything they're the best they're all i've ever wanted and they're not talked about enough, i don't know if it's because they're a wlw ship and they're a BLACK wlw ship or it's just that they're an enstablished couple and all, but damn i wish i saw them more in my dash and here on the freaking gay website because they have given me so many emotions through the seasons and they're SOLID and i just love them so much :( of course i know karen is not always present because it's a procedural show and sometimes the characters disappear for episodes, but they've solidified 911 in my heart . because damn this show is QUEER and it has been queer since day 1

my top faves are chim maddie hen and buck ok i don't make the rules they're the best but I LOVE THEM ALL and i think one of the best things of this show is the found family concept. you just gotta love them all. even if sometimes they have crazy writing moments through the seasons (like when buck tried to sue 118 or when eddie left 118 jfefhrf)

i love LOVE LOVE 911 because of all the feelings, the found family, how inclusive it feels with all the queer storylines and how diverse the main cast is (but also the case-of-the-day cast too... i'm a fan of another procedural like fringe, it was the 2010 and it was the whitest thing ever, (and the production was racist too) things have changed) BUT IT'S still copaganda. athena grant is a lot of copaganda. the two things can coexist i can love her and despise her story at times ok.

i hope we get a great henren/madney storyline in season 8 because (they're literally my faves) they're the best. i kinda wish for chim and maddie to long for a second children, now that they have mara in their lives? I'm not sure, i just know i need more of them. they're literally . so good to me. they've captivated my heart in s2 and they never left. the potential chim and maddie had was so great, but timing, trauma, depression, many things were keeping them apart, and every win felt EARNED. i just think sometimes straights have rights and that's madney's case.

i love buck like anyone in the fandom, but i think part of the craze on tumblr is due to his bisexual storyline and i gotta say... i do enjoy bucktommy. atm they're cute. being silly and in the honeymoon phase. do i ship buddie? i do, there are so many GREAT things through the seasons that make you feel - wow they could be perfect together - but that doesn't mean i will hate on bucktommy for now (yeah, i know, tommy was horrible in the past, yeah he was closeted and repressed, yeah he could have been better, he was racist and homophobic, i know, but i guess he got better since the characters are ok with him? sometimes we'll never get that resolution on screen) (i think all of them had their bad moments as characters, i mean, i could open a whole file about athena being a bad cop and still she's everyone's faves)

getting back to buck i did love his bisexuality storyline and i love him BEING BISEXUAL, it's not about tommy or about eddie or about anyone it's about him being bisexual. in his early 30s. BUT I gotta say, for how writers have written these characters, for me it made so much more sense for eddie to turn out gay than buck having his bi moment (and it's because of the writing). it makes sense for buck to be bisexual because he has always loved women and he's tried to make his relationships work, unlike eddie, but then he found out he also like men. he had soo many queer hints around him and it's just. fitting. i love him to bits. i wish s7 was longer so we could get things a bit slower, the pace was fast but i loved it. AND DAMN buck was jealous of eddie because of tommy? or of tommy because of eddie? I wonder.

i'm not sure 100% they'll go with buddie for now, but maybe it's just i am not an optimistic per se and i wanna see where they go with eddie's personal growth BUT eddie is gay. he gotta be gay. that man only had one love in his life, shannon, and that love is an idea he has. he thinks they had a great love story, but the truth is that they met when they were young, she got pregnant, he ran away from her for years with the military stuff, then he came back and she ran away, then they got together but still she asked for divorce and then she died. he denies her leaving him because of an idea of something that never really existed. even if he loved her, i'm sure he did love her but, it wasn't something perfect or functioning like bathena henren and madney. eddie is a terrible romantic partner (he's a good dad, but a terrible guy to date lbr) and it's because he's gay. i know everyone in the fandom agrees but i gotta write it down ok. when he's forced to date he feels like he has to perform? he self-sabotage all his relationships with women?? his love stories always end because of him? he had panic attack because of committing to ana??? come on ? the marisol storyline?? That shit is insane if he isn't gay

and that's why i'm asking for eddie to come to terms with who HE REALLY IS without christopher in his life. he's not just chris dad. he gotta stop running away. they have the possibility to make a great storyline for him, after several weird seasons for the poor guy. he gotta understand and accept himself and then maybe he'll work out the things with his son. this is one of the most exciting storylines for s8 and i really hope we get it. if we don't we need a PROPER story that makes sense with all of that tbh.

i'm ok with buddie happening in another season tbh i just want eddie to come to terms with his sexuality. i just love good writing and this show has its great moments with characters and that's why i love it, because it has heart. it has incredible characters i love.

i do love bathena and bobby and athena even if it might not be obvious in this post hahah and i wish we could get back may and henry, i miss athena having actually children

[autistichalsin]

I tried to have this conversation a few weeks ago and it didn't go well, so after giving it time to calm down I am bringing it up now on my own page, about the importance of allowing fans who can't afford the game, or who otherwise can't play for themself due to disabilities, etc, a space in the fandom. And in particular, this involves deconstructing the idea that Let's Plays aren't a valid way to experience this media, and that people who didn't purchase the game don't belong here, both of which are harmful, classist, ableist ideas.

(Tone: genuine. Not angry or aggressive, but passionate.)

I want to say that as much as I enjoy playing BG3 and am glad I bought it, there really isn't anything that I have gained, in terms of understanding of the plot, lore, characters, relationships, etc, that I didn't already have when I was watching Let's Plays and using the datamined dialogues exclusively. Nor has my emotional experience been significantly different in any measurable way. I mean, I WAS very happy to recruit and romance Halsin in a way that I didn't feel when I watched a Let's Play, but that's it. It didn't change my understanding of, or feelings towards, him at all. I knew Halsin's entire story before, and I knew his entire story after, too. My feelings on each and every one of Halsin's scenes has remained exactly the same.

There wasn't any character I thought was a bad guy who I saw something new in when I played for myself, or vice-versa. I didn't have any paradigm shifts in my understanding of the plot. The bad guy was still a Nether Brain controlled by the Chosen of the Dead Three in each playthrough. The good guys were still a group of traumatized weirdos (/affectionate). Astarion was still a victim of rape and slavery, Shadowheart was still a cult escapee, and Halsin still struggled with the burdens of leadership. There were still choices that could make the companions bar Jaheira and Minsc fall in love with you, and choices that could make them despise you. There were still choices that could push some of the characters to be better or worse versions of themselves. There were still a lot of notes and books to pick up, some of which were important to the lore, some of which provided random factoids about bit characters you may find interesting or may find useless, and many of which were completely useless and a waste of inventory space. I didn't learn anything new in the informational sense, about the plot, the characters, the flow of the game, nothing.

(Well, there was ONE different thing, which was that I ended up being an edge case where I accidentally shot Lae'zel with my arrow when trying to free her and got yelled at by her for it. Does that actually count as a unique-to-playing revelation though? Everyone who watched me stream that day would have learned about it too.)

I didn't experience some overwhelming emotional shift in response to the events onscreen that wasn't there when I watched Let's Play, either, which is also an argument that has been made. There's been a case presented that it's not so much that the events themselves change but that playing somehow alters your emotional response which affects how you view the plot and characters. But that didn't happen for me, either. I didn't go from "I do not care one single solitary fuck about Barcus Wroot" to "oh my god I will give this poor liddol guy the world." I still do not care about him. I didn't go from "yay, the moon lesbians are free!" to some sort of more intense emotion like "omg I'm going to cry now!" I still love them and am happy they're free, but hardly moved to tears. I didn't go from "fuck Orin" to "MEGA fuck Orin." Making the choices and fighting the battles myself didn't change anything for me in that sense. There was no emotion I hadn't already felt before that came to me in my own playthrough. Every emotion I had when watching a Let's Play was almost exactly the same when I played the game for myself.

If anything, the only real change was that I started to have annoyance as a sort of background radiation for about 90% of the companions because I kept accidentally talking to them when trying to click on items and things, and I got really fucking tired of hearing their greetings? "Shut up, Astarion, I wanted to loot the corpse, not talk to you, please back the fuck up. Why is my party always halfway up my ass? Personal space, guys?" Otherwise nope.

My understanding of canon, my understanding of the characters, my emotional resonance to the events that happened, those were all exactly the same. I literally don't know what people are referring to when they say that there was some magical new dimension of feeling that can only be unlocked when you are the one playing. Whatever that magic was certainly wasn't there for me, and that disproves the idea it's "impossible" to fully experience the game through LPs, because having played the game, I can say that I DID get the full experience through LPs. Maybe some people can't get the full feel of things by watching, which is 100% valid, but some people very much can. I did both, and I can tell you that they conferred 98% similar intellectual and emotional experiences.

In fact, I'd argue that there's more of a difference between playing as a Tav or an Origin vs playing as a Dark Urge than there is between playing yourself vs watching an LP, but I don't often see the case made that people who haven't completed a Durge playthrough don't understand the game properly and therefore can't/shouldn't contribute their analyses/interpretations of canon to the fandom. And I mean, there is some HEAVY lore you only get in a Durge playthrough. You would have a FAR better case that completing/watching a Durge playthrough is the event that marks you as understanding/having a complete knowledge of canon than you would that playing the game yourself instead of watching someone else do it is, though I still wouldn't ultimately agree that it's a prequisite.

People who watch LPs are valid, your way of experiencing the game is valid, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise because honestly, people who gatekeep are never worth listening to in the first place. The idea that your understanding becomes more complete when playing yourself isn't true for everyone. You can say they weren't the same experience for you, and that is PERFECTLY valid and understandable, but that's only you. You can't say what others are and aren't able to feel when playing vs watching Let's Plays. The only correct statement here is "some people are able to fully comprehend the plot through Let's Plays, and some aren't, and the mode of consuming the game ultimately doesn't determine whether a person belongs here. Both groups still belong in the fandom and have just as valid opinions to contribute as the others."

Further, I have seen absolutely brilliant, on-point analyses from people who only watched Let's Plays, and absolutely horrible, nuclear hot takes from people who spend all day playing the game. Just the other day, for example, I legitimately witnessed a Redditor VEHEMENTLY argue that 1. There was a scene in the game where Halsin called Thaniel "beautiful", 2. This nonexistent scene was ABSOLUTE proof that Halsin was a pedophile, and 3. Halsin's time as a sex slave had clearly caused him to become a pedophile. People who had seen only the intro of the game on an LP would STILL have a better understanding of canon than this person who claimed to have played dozens of times. If we're going to judge people's understanding of the game, it should be based on the understanding their posts convey directly, not based on assumptions about who can absorb what amount of information through what mode of consuming the game.

So I repeat: LP watchers, you're fine. Enjoy fandom in a way you can experience. You shouldn't be locked out of discussion of the game just because you can't afford hundreds of dollars for a game system. To suggest otherwise would be appallingly cruel and exclusionary behavior, on the level of saying bootleg watchers can't be part of discussions about Broadway shows. You all belong. You don't have to buy your way into a fandom space.

And bringing it to that issue: yes, Let's Plays ARE an absolute necessity for both poor people and for people with certain disabilities (blindness, since the game doesn't have a narrative-only mode, and severe disabilities affecting the hands being the two that jump to mind right away). Gatekeeping fandom from poor people based on whether they've bought an expensive game and gaming setup, much like being an anti-bootleg Broadway fan, serves the sole purpose of shaming and punishing poor fans for not properly engaging in the capitalist system. I know the intention isn't to gatekeep the poor and people with certain disabilities from the fandom, but that ends up being the effect when this particular argument gets made.

[0w0tsuki]

You wanna know what fucking sucks about the trans andro crowd? You know besides the fact that all it takes is a transfem breathing the wrong direction at them for them to call her a Terf. The fact that they have the SHEER GAUL to claim it is in the name of TransUnity.

You wanna know what trans unity was? It was a term created for us to rally around when this tide of genocidal legislation started rising. To gather around and show SUPPORT for one another. To mobilize and RESIST this wave of hatred.

And tbros saw this as a very convenient shield, an uno reverse card, something to accuse other people of being against when they themselves aren't performing it. If you call them out on their infighting and punching across they will use the very fact that your criticizing them of this to argue that actually? NO! YOUR infighting!

None of these tbros are going in counter protest to ACTUAL Terf rallies. They aren't spreading donation posts. They aren't talking about news about daily anti-trans laws being put forth and trying to resist them. No. They spend their whole time trying to Gotcha! Trans women.

You know what people interested in ACTUAL TransUnity don't do? We don't have our top blog actively promote a blog dedicated to block evading (while simultaneously blocking out all criticism) to grab full username screenshots of trans folks they want to witch hunt and put them next to hate anons from feds calling them shit like zipper tits in order to whip up their audience to either sent hate or to EXCLUDE THEM. Like actually patting themselves on the back that they got swaths of the community to denounce and exclude us. All while trying to claim it's not transmisoginistic because they're MAINLY targeting other transmen. You know. Those trans men who said "actually that's kinda fucked up. I'ma actually stand in solidarity with my sisters" who were immediately branded as traitors by them. DEFINITELY not an attempt to separate us from the few allies we have while simultaneously telling those in your community "THIS is what happens if you stand against us!"

They don't "joke" about their group chat of Transandrophobia truthers that have been called transmisoginsts so many times that they see calling themselves that as an inside joke signalling each other to swarms posts about transmisoginy.

They don't purposely form insular communities where the only transfems allowed are those who sign at the gate they agree to every single say and they have social clout within that circle for organizing it. They don't try to USE said clout to try and redefine the TERF for these people in a way that would give them the position to call transfems TERFs (which they themselves admit to being a former member of).

And they don't try to discredit and not read arguments from the other side by screenshoting their bios to see if there's anything that they can point out that in their opinion shouldn't be listened to in the first place from "oh she's a white uwu cat girl" to "oh she's a bi lesbian". For all of the hand wringing that the trans andro crowd goes on about how "everyone listens to trans women over trans men and we just get ignored" they CERTAINLY don't have ANY interest in actually listening to trans women. There are no attempts at appeals to our arguments. No "I can see why trans women feel this way and I want to acknowledge their oppression while still advocating for mine" just "oh so you just hate trans men". No attempts at actual UNDERSTANDING trans women who feel hurt by their actions.

Your telling me the crowd who so ADAMANTLY opposed the terms transmisoginy and tme/tma in the first place. Who viewed every post of transfems complaining about the intracommunity oppression they felt as a personal attack on them. Your telling me these people should be given the benefit of the doubt when they try to argue for their own term which is DEFINITELY not reactionary to transmisoginy.

Your going to tell me the crowd that has convinced themselves that they are in a subculture war against transfems have their hearts in the right place and are trying to bring the community together when they are actively working to exclude transfems and their allies from the queer community?

Yall should find FUCKING APPALLING these people who've only ever acted like exclusionary bullies about their politics take a term that was supposed to be a rallying cry for trans people and turn it into the "so much for the tolerant left" but for the queer community, to demand all of the patience and consideration in the world while giving none. I don't even have to argue against their theory. Their actions speak louder than words.

[itslenagain]

My thoughts on episodes 1-3 of Netflix ATLA (SPOILERS):

1. Commander Zhao has middle-aged white guy manager energy. I feel like this man is about to lead me in a team-building exercise

2. Aang having his origin story changed irks me! He ran away impulsively in the original show and got stuck in the ice. In this version, he fully monologs to Appa about his fears, but then just leaves for a joyride and gets stuck. It takes away from the significance of Aang leaving in the first place. When Kyoshi berates him for running away, it doesn't feel right because in this version, he didn't really run - he just got stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time

3. The Zuko that stood on an iceberg during a full Moon and challenged Katara to battle would be absolutely enraged at the Zuko that ran from the conflict in Omashu

4. Also, the fact that Zuko has not mentioned honor yet? What the fuck?

5. Seriously, Commander Zhao has a LinkedIn. He's got great networking skills

6. I miss aggro Katara. This version is way more subdued (though we do get a sibling fight in episode 3) and somehow listening to Aang's weird circular philosophy helps her learn how to waterbend and I don't get it

7. Seeing Aang be joyful is a nice change from the movie that shall not be mentioned

8. If Gram-Gram putting the waterbending scroll in Katara's bag replaces the storyline where Katara says fuck cultural looting and steals one I will scream

9. It's interesting to see Azula so early in the story, but I'm bummed we missed out on the whole blackmail thing with her & Ty Lee

10. Do you think Commander Zhao pays his employees a fair wage? Do you think they have health insurance? 401k matching? Vacation time? Sick days? What kind of benefits does his company offer?

11. This version of Sokka is definitely not silly enough

12. I feel robbed that Aang got to transform into a magical girl but we didn't get a magical girl transformation sequence

13. Also, we were robbed of Sokka crossdressing as a Kyoshi warrior and they are so rude for that

14. The graphic murder of the Airbenders felt. Weird? Wrong? I don't think we needed to see that. The impact it had when Aang arrived at the temple to find all of them gone in the original show felt heavier than in this version. We saw what happened, we know they're all dead. As a kid watching ATLA the first time, I remember feeling hopeful for Aang that maybe he wasn't really the last one. We don't get to feel that with this version

15. They did not understand Uncle Iroh at all. His character is so weird. Maybe it gets better???

16. The pacing is weird but maybe that gets better too???

17. I have never related more than when Ozai just burned that Earth nation dude who was about to start monologing, please shut up in my presence

18. Apparently everywhere has names?? Who decided on these names?

19. As a lesbian I also get horny on main immediately for girls who could definitely kick my ass, Sokka was so real for that

20. Overall I think they lean into the idea that the audience for this show is primarily older than the audience for the original (they're not totally wrong!) but I worry about it losing some of the messaging along the way. Part of the beauty of the original ATLA show was tackling these big, complex issues in a way that both kids and adults could relate to and understand. Anyone who knows me knows I also love Bluey for this, along with a few other shows that do it well. Media like ATLA that tackles the ideas of colonization, genocide, war, and so many other important issues is crucial! I hope that these topics are handled just as well as they were in the original series.

Am I going to watch the whole thing? Probably, yeah. Will I enjoy it? I hope so! It's not terrible, but it's also hard to do a show that has so much nostalgia attached to it in a way that will please all viewers.

If you haven't watched it, I think it's worth a shot. Just don't expect it to be an exact retelling of the original story.

[taylortruther]

That NYT piece is unhinged, and it will make the Kaylors feel like the New York Times agrees with them. Why can’t they just stan genuinely gay artists, not a woman who has only publicly dated men, and who has said this speculation makes her uncomfortable?

i think it's okay that the ny times wants to post opinion pieces like this - like it or not, taylor's sexual identity is a hot topic and has been one for years now, and the interest around it does speak to our societal concerns!

but i think this article in particular pushes a lot of thoughts that i have to challenge whenever i see them. primarily, that songs about fear or yearning in love are exclusively queer topics, and that a woman couldn't feel specific ways around a man. when it comes to taylor specifically, this article (and many similar ones) neglects to mention that she feels fear and trapped because she's felt hunted (by the media, "hunters with cellphones") every time she leaves the house. she's described men in her life being uncomfortable with her security or being seen with her or associated with her. she explicitly stated multiple times in her music and in miss americana that she found happiness with joe because it was happiness without outside input, and she had to unlearn an entire belief system (that she needed to be good and liked) in order to find security again.

i always understood why queer people saw themselves in her music. because fearing being "found out," needing secrecy, having to hide what you truly mean, is a completely relatable queer experience in a world that is so unfriendly to us. the writer touches on this at the beginning, too, with chely wright saying a huge star would need to come out in order to truly break up the status quo, and by saying that queer readings (even if they're "wrong") are necessary to normalize equality... but i think not diving deeper neglects a critical piece of this discussion. taylor's anxieties about fame and love are necessary to understanding her work, with or without the queer lens.

also, i think it's just glib sexism that makes people think that her tender love songs couldn't be written by a man. i don't know why the author thinks inthaf and hits different can ONLY be about women because nothing in them is gendered. maroon, sure, the line about lips is titillatingly questionable. but some gaylors have also said this about cardigan (men don't dance!), or treacherous (men don't use their hands in sex!), or so it goes (there's definitely not an extremely well-known sex act called a pearl necklace absolutely not) and like... even if taylor was a gold star lesbian, and wrote those songs about women, they still... could easily apply... to one's experiences with men...

idk like i hate this idea that queer people and straight people experience love in completely different ways. YES, societal/historical context changes how we experience the world. but we are still the same species. we still experience heartbreak and yearning and fear and joy and love and peace with people.

[ravenadottir]

i started playing season 6, and i've got shit to say for the half of dozen people that are still following me in this cobweb infested blog (i apologize, i'll be explaining what's happening on a different post)

i'm only on day 2 of the season, right when it's announced that roberto is coming (which is so disappointing to me that he isn't brazilian but portuguese, like... WHEN ARE WE GETTING A GOOD BRAZILIAN CHARACTER????)

anyway, here are my thoughts:

WRITING:

i actually didn't see much of a problem with it so far. it feels on par with similar conversations we had in the past, except this time we're getting to know them a little deeper than, say, season 3.

knowing bella's family situation or roberto's is kind of refreshing because we barely learned bobby had a sister on a throwaway scene on s2, so... yeah, it's ok.

i like how they express themselves because as an litg player, i'm used to some eloquence, but as someone who sometimes watches the show i HAVE to suspend my disbelief since i know islanders from the show are just... NOT GOOD AT EXPRESSING THEMSELVES, to say the least.

i like the conversations we had so far, it felt fluid and fun, but then again i've only coupled up with jamal, because obviousoly i did, who would i go for, fucking ryan? WAKE UP.

the challenges piled up but because of how many dialogues we had in this little time i think it worked pretty well.

CHARACTERS:

grace - girl, it's been a day and ozzy is not even that hot. HAVE YOU SEEN YOURSELF? he's punching, not you. chill. (and i hate they're giving the intensity they gave hope here, feels bitterly familiar and they better fucking knock it off).

bella - FINALLY a girl i like who's available and slutty (affectionate) since the beginning. i absolutely think bella might be right there with talia when it comes to arc as an LI, but we'll see. if anyone dares stealing her or if fusebox even make the slight suggestion of a slowburn i'm burning their HQ idc

ivy - alright i see you bootleg marisol, but i don't give a shit, you're annoying, die in a hole.

amelia - i think she's putting a front and deflecting the negative attention to ivy but that's just me. also, the twist of the public choosing who she should couple up with before she could tell us is extremely dumb and unnecessary, but also a reason for her to say a different name later, maintaining her image of good sister. i don't trust her, i WILL step on her head to the finale, die in a pit you're also annoying.

jamal - i like the attention but everything with moderation gives me way more tingles than a crybaby that can't stop talking about how he wants to be with me again. we were coupled up for a few hours and only had one conversation, chill bitch. it's giving ted mosby and every himym fan knows how bad that is. i'm not sure if every guy that the public chooses to be with amelia on night 1 acts the same, but i'm slightly turned off. it's too much boy, calm down, i'm here to be a slut, calm down.

ryan - get a haircut or let it grow because looking twelve and the coolest lesbian at the same time is not the look for you. its giving hipster with a chemistry kit at the local café.. also, either you're the douchey musician or a bad poet, you can't be both, PICK A STRUGGLE.

lewie - the impersonation of being stuck in traffic. i don't care for you, die in the same hole as ivy and amelia.

ozzy - fucking pulling the noah, man. i've seen this before and i'm not interested. stop being such a coward and tell grace how you feel. i know for a fact you're gonna be drama and it's because you refuse to be honest. it's so embarrassing, bestie.

roberto - HOT. i only saw the preview but i'm excited.

PACING

it's great. i think it was kind of weird how fast and furious it was with some previous seasons (remember the last season i played was 3 and half of 4 {it was soooo tedious i gave up half way through}) but i think so far it's ok. it definitely has better cliffhangers than other times when they thought they tried their darnedest.

OBSERVATIONS WITH SCREENSHOTS:

there's no fucking way they thought these were worth diamonds. and 22 diamonds for that frufru purple shit??? it looks like something who doesn't sew would put together with a hot glue gun, stop.

ivy i might kill you like they kill one of those vampires at the end of the twilight saga, by opening your mouth so wide it cracks off your skull. SHUT - UP.

and amelia... you're irrelevant, get out.

BUDDY, YOU'RE THE MOUTHPIECE OF THE GROUP NOW, HOLY SHIT. grace has me on my knees, i can't.-

bitch, we did! i kissed you in the challenge. EXCUSE YOUR BEAUTIFUL SELF! (also, for the breasts appreciators, i feel you, boobs are great, really! but like, those... two... lines... coming out of the bikini???? yeah, that is actually what gets me. you didn't need to know but i told you anyway, because i'm happy bella is hot and cool and i don't know how to shut up when i'm love, leave me alone!) whoever designed her knew EXACTLY what they were doing.

I LOVE GRACE. I JUST DO.

i'll give ryan some cool points because 1, he burned ivy in front of everyone, and 2, he admitted and owned up to it. good for you, bestie, good luck when you take a trip to the hair salon and get rid of that... hair. also, STOP SKIPPING LEG DAY BUDDY. from the waist up it's giving "abs, hot, i go to the gym", from the waist down is giving "i'm twelve and there's a reason i go to the beach in pants".

bella and grace looking naked and glamorous but feeling threatened by this ugly ass dress is the funniest joke in the writing so far. truly. i've had mermaid costumes at 4 years of age less embarrassing than this atrocity. stop lying, bella and grace, YOU'RE BOTH NAKED AND PERFECT.

and that's what i have to say so far. i'll continue playing this season until they inevitably fuck up. i'm not being pessimistic, i'm just... well, i guess i am. but i have no reason to believe otherwise.

also, i keep forgetting ozzy is here even though it's been a day. idk why.

anyways, i'll come back with more litg brain rot in a bit.

[goodluckclove]

Hi! Have you ever felt ashamed of yourself because something made you feel like your taste in books/film/music wasn't diverse enough? I'm here to tell you that having that be the case does not necessarily mean that you're a bigot that hates minorities!

I mean, if you only read books by cishet white men specifically because you think they're the only good kinds of books - yes, that is sort of indicative of a problem in your perspective.

But most people don't pick books because of the author's background. Most people don't even know the author's background. Sometimes you just read books you think are good, and it isn't until you look back and notice the lack of a certain voice and think "huh, that's weird that I haven't looked into that".

That's okay! There are many brilliant minority authors that you might not have a way to know about unless you search the right term or have someone tell you. This is not a moral failure on your behalf, but an opportunity to see just how vast your favorite genre is.

Consider science fiction, or speculative fiction as a whole. Philip K. Dick has a deeply specific type of science fiction influenced by his gender, the era he was born in, and his rampant and intense schizophrenia (look up The Exegesis, it's wild). Kurt Vonengut has an entirely different take on the same genre that was heavily, heavily shaped by being a literal prisoner of war and being in the Dresden Bombings of World War Two. He was, I believe, also rumored to be on the schizophrenic specturm.

But let's widen the scope! I have only read a few books of Octavia Butler and wasn't as impacted by them as other books I've read, but I definitely noticed a major shift in atmosphere in a narrative world formed by a black woman. The air tasted different. It was a truly remarkable way to expand my vision of what the genre can do.

There's also Yoko Ogawa's The Memory Police. I have a complicated relationship with this book. I read the first chapter, loved the environment of an Influenced sci-fi dystopia, but then immediately realized this premise would destroy me and stopped reading. I still have it. I'm going to read it, it's just a tough subject for me.

If you want to widen your scope of art consumption you can do it as easily as taking a book or movie you like and seeing what art influenced it or what art was influenced by it. Websites like Tastedive are great for that. You can also look for lists of minority authors that have written in your genre of choice and see what sounds appealing.

You also shouldn't do it all at once. I don't think a minority artist would appreciate that you rushed through their work solely because someone on the Internet told you you're a bad person unless you experienced every oppressed perspective immediately. You have time.

A while back I did research and made an effort to read more female fiction. I looked at my bookshelf and saw that a majority of the women I read were either nonfiction writers or retro lesbians. So I bought a few short story collections by women writers that I found online, because I was also inexperienced with that. It was great. I really enjoyed it. My next goal is to gather more perspectives on experimental fiction, my favorite genre. I've read mostly Western, czech, Italian, Spanish and French. Some women, mostly men. I would like to see what else is out there.

Also if anyone has a suggestion for a book on black existentialism other than Ralph Ellison's Invisible Man, I sure am hungry for it. Invisible Man is one of the most painful and beautiful books I've ever read.

I'm rambling. Art is exciting, is what I mean to say. If you feel the way you take in art is missing something, instead of scolding yourself for that it's actually a lot more effective to do a lil' bit of internet searching, get a new book or movie, and see what it makes you feel and think. I'm pretty confident that's the ideal viewing experience in the eyes of the minority creators who made these pivotal works.

Consider race, sexuality, era, disability, gender identity - all of that and more changes the way a person makes art and it's truly enlightening to explore!

[loonatics-b1gf4n]

LOONATICS SHIPS IN MY OPINION

!!!!WARNING!!!!

This article contains my thoughts.

Contains gay, lesbian ships and oc x canon ships. If you don't like this kind of thing, please don't read. I also ask you to be respectful.

Also, I do not own any of the characters mentioned here. Contains characters either owned by Warner Bros. or other users. Only the characters named Mylene E. Coyote ,Luna Vester, Hannah Bunny and Frankie Runner belong to me.

If you have no problems with these warnings, enjoy my article. Thank you.

-SHIPS THAT I LOVE TO SHIP OR I LIKE TO SHIP:

NUMBER ONE: TECH X REV (TEV OR OTHER SHIP NAMES YOU USE)

I think it wouldn't be a lie if I said it's the fan favorite Loonatics ship. I think you shipped it on time (If you didn't ship it, no problem). It's my favourite. And it was my first Loonatics ship. Technically my first Loonatics ship as a canon x canon ship. Hehe, I was once an oc x canon fan too. Interesting information, I used to ship Rev with the character named Mylene because I had a little crush on Rev. That's why I ship with myself. … I know it's very cringe. That's why I still hate myself. However, I learned from my mistakes and am now a Tech x Rev shipper. It wouldn't be a lie if I said Tech x Rev is the closest canon ship. They acted as if they were a couple in many scenes in the series. IF YOU STILL DON'T BELIEVE ME, LET ME TELL YOU THIS SENTENCE!! Said by Rev Runner. Season 2 Episode 5, ''Family Business'' “Thanks, Tech. If you weren't a coyote, and a guy, I'd kiss ya!” DID YOU SEE THIS?!?!? I'm still pissed because DAMN WARNER BROS ONLY MADE 2 SEASONS AND LEFT US LOONATICS FANS WITH A LOT OF QUESTIONS. AND MOREOVER, THEY DID NOT GIVE US ANY CANON SHIP. Except for married people, they're canon, so we know that. God dammit. In short, it is my favorite and I will definitely ship it in the future. NO ONE CAN STOP ME!!! NIHAHAHAHA. Sorry. By the way Rev gay and Tech pan in my AU.

NUMBER TWO: LEXİ X DUCK (LEXİ X DANGER DUCK)

Lexi x Duck ship is among my favorites, but it's not a ship I look at much. Even though Lexi and Danger Duck's relationship seems a little toxic in the series and they seem like siblings to other people, I love that they are lovers. At least in my AU they are. And they doesn't seem to ship much anymore. Excuse me, but this is the truth. Or I don't see much. This is also a possibility. It's not a ship I can talk about much, I just like them together.

NUMBER THREE: TECH X ACE

Don't attack me. I love Tech x Rev with all my heart. Still, I chose to like this ship for a change. I hated this ship before. But then I saw some of their fanart. Excuse me, but I mean a little bit, there are 2 hahahahahahaha. Anyway, I said to myself, "I think they might be cute. So why not, I ship it''. Frankly, I felt like they had a platonic love in the series. It seemed interesting and, frankly, sweet. Only in the series did I see how much Ace actually cares about Tech. Cry though, Ace, because Tech chose Rev. Hahahahahaha. I'm sorry again. An interesting information (related to real life) is that coyotes are monogamous. That's why I ship Rev with Tech in a different AU, and I ship Ace with Tech in a different AU. This helps a little more.

NUMBER FOUR: SLAM X LEXİ

I'll just say this briefly because I'm tired and I need to move on to more oc x canon and the ones I hate. They are sweet, but I see them more as brother and sister. I'M SO SORRY WHO EVER SHIP THEM!!! I JUST DON'T HAVE TIME!!! I RESPECT YOU GUYS!!!!

NUMBER FIVE: TECH X LEXİ

They can be cute but I don't prefer to ship them.

-OC X CANON SHIPS

NUMBER ONE: RİP X KİT (KİT X RİP OR KİP) OC X CANON SHIP

The owner of this ship is @segamarkiii. I don't own this ship or the Kit character. The reason I like this ship is obviously because Rip has a boyfriend. Rip is honestly a bit of an underrated character. I'm sad about this, because I think it would have made the show a little better if Rip had been a little more prominent. Also, the fanart made by Segamarkiii is amazing. I hope she makes more Loonatics fanart.

NUMBER TWO: MYLENE X LUNA (MY OWN SHIP BETWEEN MY OC'S)

I love this ship. They suit each other very well. Let me give you some AU spoilers. Mylene actually changed Luna's life. That's why she's on the team. In my original AU, I was actually going to ship Luna with Tech. YES, I TRIED TO SHIP THE CHARACTER WITH MYSELF AGAIN, CRINGE AND SORRY. Now when I say this, what do you think? ''Wait, do you ship yourself with yourself? It's disgusting.'' No, my dear friends. Mylene and Luna are no longer the characters I am myself. I have a main character and an IRL character, which are characters that reflect me. So no, I don't ship myself with myself. Do not worry. Meanwhile, Mylene and Luna are a Bi and Lesbian couple (TOH reference hah). Mylene Bi and Luna are lesbians. I love shipping them.

NUMBER THREE: ACE X HANNAH

The real reason I made this ship was because I felt sorry for Ace. While everyone on the team was in love with someone, Ace and Slam were not in love with someone. Don't worry, I have a ship in Slam. Hannah is a vet and Mylene has a desert fox (named Angel. Don't worry, a picture with my Loonatics Ocs will come soon, in late February, hopefully) While Mylene is taking her to the vet, Ace sees Hannah because he also came. Love at first sight, they get together, blah, blah, blah. So I gave Ace a girlfriend out of pity.

NUMBER FOUR: SLAM X FRANKIE

I must say that this ship was inspired by the malewife x girlboss relationship. While Slam is very shy around Frankie, Frankie tries to flirt with Slam. That's enough to say, and besides, this is my favorite oc x canon ship. IN LOONATICS!! DONT WORRY!!!!

If you have oc x canon ship in Loonatics and if I'm not say that sorry.

-SHIPS THAT I HATE TO SHIP OR I DON'T LIKE TO SHIP

Before I give my opinions, I'm so, so sorry if you ship any of these. But these are my opinions. However, I respect you all, know that.

NUMBER ONE: LEXİ X ACE

This is my least favorite ship among the Loonatics ships. Again, I'm sorry, but I don't like Ace and Lexi being shipped. If you tell me about the scenes in the series in the comments, I can't really say anything. However, remember that none of the ships in the series are canon. I think Ace and Lexi are cousins, and I prefer that. We already know that Bugs and Lola are together. In this case, the possibility of Lexi and Ace being cousins ​​increases.

''They are cousins, they are in the very distant future, can't they have consanguineous marriages? Can't they date even if they are relatives??'' Of course, but I don't like that, that's why I don't like this ship. That is all.

NUMBER TWO: ACE X DUCK (ACE X DANGER DUCK)

I will say this, this ship may be sweet to you, but it is not sweet to me. In my opinion, their relationship is mostly brotherly. They already have a competitive relationship. If we look at it according to Duck.

NUMBER THREE: REV X DUCK

I'm not telling anyone not to ship this, but I see them as a brothers.

Again, if you disagree with my thoughts, at least kindly express your opinion. If there are any ships I forgot, you can tell me.

Have a good day, good morning or good night :)

[cowboymantis]

Y'know what since it's pride month, I'll do a little random rambling about my identity, bc hell I am 22 whole years old and I am still struggling with my gender lmaoo 😭😭

But also, nowadays I think it's really funny that I took so long to properly realize I was trans and aroace

There were. So many signs. 💀

I almost dreaded to come out as trans to one of my old online friend groups, not bc I thought they were transphobic (bc we were always a heavily lgbtq group), but because I thought I took so long and now I'd have to explain myself. (Stupid I know, but my family is very transphobic, so I never got to be my true self irl, and idk if I ever will as long as my family lives, but maybe I'll be brave enough one day)

But one of the first reactions I got was just yeah I always thought you were gonna say that 😭 And us all talking AND OTHERS COMING OUT TOO it was just such a weight lifted from my shoulders, it was so great.

Because of my family, I'm not 100% sure how I feel about my gender, if I feel more nonbinary or male, it's more something in-between, but more towards male,, but that's why I just feel most comfortable without a label, I'm just me and I'm here 🛌

When it comes to figuring out I'm aroace, the thing is, I kinda thought about it before, but I wasn't sure. Even then, it wasn't too long before I realized.

I always hated romance and cheesy scenes, kissing and especially sex scenes in anything I watch make me super uncomfortable, I'd sometimes think about, if I'm grown up and in a relationship, I have to do all of that... And I was actually scared of needing to get in a relationship, or something like that. Part of it was pressure from my parents to tell me I need to find a partner, to, I guess properly live my life or something. And this is essentially what a lot of people think, that you NEED to have a partner to be complete, and I always found it so weird. I don't want a partner I just wanna sit in my room and play videogames all day :'D

Oddly enough, No Straight Roads, one of my favourite games ever, has indirectly helped me- NOW HEAR ME OUT. One name: Eve.

Omg I love Eve so so much, and her whole arc just made me slowly go ... I feel that omg

I was in one relationship in my life, I'm actually still friends with that person, they also came out as trans, but are in a poly relationship now, which is kind of funny to me because we went pretty much the exact opposite route, I love it 😭

Anyway, I never had any feelings of love how people describe it, I never had any attraction to people. But I was so desperate when we broke up, like I lost my one opportunity in life to be in a relationship, like I needed to have someone else no matter how uncomfortable I felt being in one.

And I just saw my younger teenage self in Eve and I think this is one of the reasons I am so attached to this character, gahhHH I love No Straight Roads so much. It has helped me in a time I was feeling down, it indirectly got me into kpop (😭😭yeah), which then also came at the right time when I had a downer phase, and the community of the game on release was just so sweet.

But yeah, to come back to it, throughout my life, I basically went from "I guess I'm pan or something, because I don't have a preference"

To "Okay the thought of being with a man disgusts me, so I have to be a lesbian"

To "Okay, but I just like looking at people in an aesthetical way, I simp for characters or actors as a joke, I just like looking at them or think they're cute, but that's about it"

And then I was just like oh. Oh wait. it's all coming together.

Realizing you're aromantic and/or asexual can be really hard, and I've seen others' experiences be similar to mine. I think, in a way, it's so hard bc pursuing relationships is the norm for most of the world.

Thinking back to that one lesson we had in ethics class I'll never forget, we had to write down something about the meaning of life. And then everyone should say what they have written down and what their idea was. Most people wrote down having a family. I don't even know what I wrote down (probably something like a happy life or something basic), but I talked about how meaning of life doesn't have to be having a family. And the teacher basically laughed at me for saying that bc that's the whole point of being a human!!!

And I guess from that day I had this one sided beef / grudge against this teacher bc how the hell are you an ethics teacher and think so one-sided 😭 Sure, humans start families so they don't die out, but not EVERY human needs to start a family to have a purpose in life?

So yeah, anyway. Aspecs are very nuanced, there are those who have platonic relationships, people who enjoy sex although they are not attracted to someone, I myself am absolutely repulsed by anything sexual and I don't ever want any type of relationship, I don't like being lovey dovey, and I hate being too close to someone, like hugging, etc. On the outside I've always been very distant, but on the inside I have all the love I don't have for romance, for my friends and for this world instead 😌🙏

I guess I can really seem too cold or maybe even angry, bc it's hard for me to properly show my emotions, and that's why I prefer text over word, I can express myself so freely and can add all the silly little emotes I want :3

Also, I always loved the I do not perceive and do not wish to be perceived bc yeah . Me fr jfhdjdhr

Also, I'm not too fond of sexualities and genders all having weird stereotypes, but god damit I love robots/androids etc sm I always would love to be one fr ‼️‼️ I guess that's one of the reasons I was immediately hooked on Tokusatsu- NO THIS IS NOT GONNA BE A TOKU POST THIS HAS DERAILED WAY TOO FAR

But speaking of-- Naki me belobed and ofc their actor, I love Nakayama sm man and recently read an a bit older interview of him and he's so real 😭😭 I've never literally me-d for an actor so much 🥲

[tododeku-or-bust]

I noticed your "fill my inbox" post so i wanted to tell you about my OCs that i've been working on lately, it might come across weird or maybe much and I'm probably going to seriously expose myself out of anonymity with the details but i hope you'll like to hear it anyways -- I saw a post that suggested more representation for fat emo girls (i misremembered it as "i want to see more fat emo girls") and I became really inspired so i made a sketch of a fat black emo girl. Her being black was just another case of my brain going "*hand raise* Do they have to be white/Would it hurt if they were black?" and the response is often "no" even "that would be more interesting" so I switch it up, and after searching through names, the name Ada stuck. I wanted to give her a distinctly black name because I felt like that isn't done enough and that it wasn't fair, but anyways. I had a character that I made previously, named Nia the Swift, made because I had a lesbian JoJo OC named Vivian (lost sister of Dio) and she totally kicked ass and tugged at my heart strings but I realized that she was the only confirmed lesbian OC I had, so I thought "I need to make another one" so I made him and I made him black and masc and I couldn't resist making him a fancy-dancy cunning vampire. Anyhow, I was thinking about Ada a lot because I got interested in emo subculture so whenever I would think about emo stuff, I'd think about her too. She's a gloomy character, but I didn't like seeing her sad/out of it all the time. A silly idea came up in my head of her getting her hand kissed by Nia and thinking "am i goth?" (subtext: because i think i'm falling in love with a vampire) and I thought it was great. When I made Nia, I didn't really think up any Scenarios for him for a little too long and I felt like he needed to be part of a duo, but I couldn't come up with any solid ideas yet, so I felt like Ada would make an excellent match. I'm swamped with a lot of big stressful things this month but I'm hoping to squeeze in drawing him being very very sweet and gentlemanly to her and her making cute meme emoji faces about it, and maybe some other things involving them. I've been learning a lot about hair lately for it (which is good bc my career seems like it could loom unexpectedly into the "hair" area) and it was nice listening to a tutorial on how to get good box braids while i was on an errand walk. I thought previously that box braids had more than 3 strands, maybe 4 hence the name "box" braids (no, also on closer inspection, no). Sorry for sending you so many big paragraphs and run-on sentences, but I hope maybe you can have my two vaguely described women living in your head rent free now

Yeah lol, I do recognize who you are now 🤣

Well, I'm glad you took the time to stop yourself and decide that she didn't have to be white! That is definitely the first step that very many people don't take!

As for "that would be more interesting", I encourage you to take those next steps and determine why. Why would it be more interesting? Them being Black shouldn't be the interesting part- that would make them sound like they're a token!

Have you done research in Black emo culture? Have you done research into fatness while being Black? Are those things that affect your character's life? Her decisions and her personality? Does it play into how people treat her? That's where we get into the intent! Because I'm not Black and emo, but I can tell you right now her being "gloomy" would definitely affect the way people treat her as a Black woman in reality. I do appreciate that you let her have other emotions though!

I do have an Auntie Ada (rip), and Nia is also a Black African name (it means 'purpose'). Did you know that when you named him?

And no lmao that is not why they're called box braids. I am very glad you took the time to look that up before saying it out loud, because that would have been quite embarrassing in front of the right (Black) people 🤣

Thank you for sharing your Black OCs with me, and I hope you continue to care for them!

[lycan-troth]

I'm so confused by the asexual spectrum, and I mean that respectfully. There's so many variations that I can't keep up with them. I've tried to understand what they are, but I've not been able to find anything that explains them simply and clearly.

Before ppl get mad or offended... I'm saying this bcs I think I could be on the spectrum, but bcs it's so confusing, I can't tell if I am or not. I just want to see simple explanations, but I can't wrap my head around all the different versions. So, I was hoping someone knowledgeable on the subject could suggest what I could be? I'm lesbian and she/they, so I understand those parts of my identity, just for some subtext. I'm just stumbling on how I (don't) experience attraction.

So, I'm 22, and I have no experience with intimacy or romance. Though, that's mainly bcs I haven't had the opportunities. I'd never be intimate with a stranger or a friend. I've only been in love once. I've only felt significant attraction to maybe 4 or 5 people? I usually catch myself trying to see if I find anyone attractive, and it often feels forced bcs the high majority of ppl I see are not attractive to me. I observe ppl, trying to find elements of them that might spark something in me, but nothing happens. I've tried to force crushes on myself before, and it just feels desperate and lonely. I feel no genuine attraction. Just indifference. It bothers me. I want to feel attraction more often, but I don't.

A good thing is that I'm not someone who's usually considered attractive. I'm cute and innocent-like, but nothing more. I'm basically that one friend everyone assumes is innocent and kind like a kid, and no one decent is interested in that. And that's okay, bcs I don't find anyone around me attractive, haha. It's just lonely. The few times I've been attracted to someone has always been really overwhelming for me. I've literally gone weak in the knees and almost fallen over bcs I saw a rlly attractive girl. But always, when I've felt attraction, I've also been afraid. I've often joked to myself that if i feel intimidated by a girl and she hasn't done anything to warrant that response, then she's just really pretty.

I have never approached anyone I've found very attractive bcs it just seems rlly weird to me. Plus, I always don't know them, or they're seeing someone, and I'm always an anxious wreck. In general, I can not recognise flirting or subtle things. I'm autistic and while my social skills aren't bad, they only go so far, lol. So, maybe someone has tried flirting before, and I just thought they were being nice? That's why I don't do subtle. The ppl in my life know that I don't play games. If I have a problem with someone, I'd tell them. If I'm happy spending time with someone, I let them know. I tell a few ppl I love them, that's a big thing for me. I like directness, but I know lots of ppl struggle with it. However, for me, I need it to be able to understand the full picture properly. Idk why so many ppl like playing weird cat and mouse games. Someone said it was to be mysterious or to not show 'too much' interest. That to me is just stupid and childish. I get feeling scared of rejection, but I don't like it when ppl mess around. It's impolite to play with someone's feelings, making them question whether you like them or not. It just breeds insecurity and doubt. To me, it's unattractive and boring. It's not romantic. But that's just me, and I'm often enough the odd one out.

Anyway, it is not often I feel attraction. Ppl are usually boring. I have felt that a few ppl were cute during brief interactions, so if those continued, perhaps that sort of feeling could have developed. I'm open to marriage with the right person, but only if they're The One. I'd only date someone if I knew them well enough, but I'm not open to dating casually. I feel very intensely about most things, and I have been in love once. It was an online relationship. I loved her very much and only wanted her happiness and comfort. I hadn't meant to fall in love, and I'd never intended to have an online relationship. But I loved her, and that changed my mind. When she broke up with me, I accepted it and comforted her about it. I mentioned that I was sad about it, naturally, but I didn't say much more than that. I understood it was difficult and upsetting for her to break up, so I respected her decision and minimalised communicating the extent of how upset I felt. I did that because telling her wouldn't be a kindness or productive. It would only make her feel more upset and guilty. We're still friends. I always thought ppl were being dramatic when they said that first loves were devastating or sad. I loved and was loved in return, which makes the experience worth it. I hope to find love again, someday.

I like the idea of romance and comfort, but obtaining it isn't so simple. However, I refuse to settle for less than what I want. On the other hand: intimacy. I'm not upset that I've never done anything. Sure, in theory, I'd like to have a bit of experience, but I don't, and that's okay. My hand does the trick for me just fine, so I'm not frustrated at all. If I had a partner, in theory, I believe if I trusted them enough, we might do something together, but in reality? Idk, but I like the idea of it.

That's all I can think of to mention. So, if someone could make a suggestion or something, I'd appreciate it. Even if it's just to tell me that I'm not part of the asexual spectrum, and I'm just an introverted, anxious, autistic, lesbian who's suffering under the devastation that is other ppl's commitment issues. That'd be fine. I'm just feeling lost and would appreciate a kind word of reassurance.

[drbased]

Hi, I saw your addition on this post:

https://www.tumblr.com/maslows-pyramid-scheme/763959982738833408?source=share

And I was wondering if you had any other input on straight people being bicurious/thinking they could be bisexual? Because I can kind of relate to that. I'm an OSA woman and have been questioning/bicurious for years now but don't seem to be getting anywhere.

I'm interested in kissing women (never have) but I don't usually fantasize about sex with them. I always thought since I am not repulsed by the idea, it must mean something, and radblr likes to say that unless you are repulsed, it counts. I have been vaguely interested in one or two women before, it was never sexual but still felt a bit different from just platonic. I feel like I can't 100% relate to my straight friends who would never even consider kissing a woman but I also can't relate to lesbians and bi women who love vagina. Am I just a curious straight woman who likes women's company and isn't grossed out by female bodies? Is that a normal way to be straight? Or am I bi with a preference for men? I genuinely can't tell anymore.

You and me both, sister. Every since I was a teenager I always considered myself 'probably bi, but not really curious'. You're clearly further along the spectrum than I am though, because I've never found myself being attracted to a woman IRL. The only thing is, if I am attracted to women I'm exclusively attracted to gnc women - not 'butch', but more, say androgynous in both attitude and dress. Bonus points if she actually looks androgynous - but at that point I find myself thinking, well is that just because I like male characteristics then? Problem is I've never seen a woman IRL who looks like what I think I'd be attracted to, so the jury's still out, I suppose.

I must say, I've not heard anyone on radblr say that unless you're repulsed, it counts. In fact, I've actually heard the opposite - espeically from lesbians who defend their right to define sexuality around what you actually desire, not what you can tolerate; lesbian sexuality is about desiring pussy, regardless of whether you're repulsed by or merely indifferent to cock. So, then, under that logic I consider myself functionally straight.

The issue is that as women we have this extra hurdle to overcome in defining our sexuality; there's this fundamental societal belief that women are just inherently attractive, to the point where I've seen drag queens - literal gay men - get upset that they're not attractive enough because they don't look like women; like, shouldn't your entire concept of attractiveness be based around what looks masculine? And this belief system is used to devalue lesbianism and women's bisexuality as legitimate sexualities - of course women are going to be attracted to women, haven't you seen women? Everybody loves boobs! And I'm here constantly wondering if women with our curves and small faces are so 'inherently' attractive or is that just hundreds of years of patriarchal conditioning - or is it because as some radfems point out that women have never had control of reproductive selection, and that's why men are generally uglier? Because no matter how much I want to fight it I do have to admit that I don't actually fancy that many men - just like with women I almost exclusively like androgynous features on men. And I've seen it said a fair amount both in and out of radblr that if you're attracted to androgynous/feminine men then that's a secret sign you're actually a wlw?

Idk girl, it's just a permanent unknown in my head. And I've never seen another women talk about their sexuality like I do. So in answering this ask I suppose I'm also asking if any other straight women have the same experience as I do? Do you, anon, find yourself gravitating to gnc/androgynous/feminine men as I do? Have you accidentally ended up dating exclusively bisexual men? We have to find all the straight women who have these concerns and set up some sort of conference because I just want to kNOW.

[foggyfanfic]

Queer Madrigals

I'm about to post a couple future!fic for Encanto, so I figured I'd take a minute to talk about my headcanons when it comes to their genders/sexualities.

The Obvious: I've posted somewhat in depth about what I think Bruno and Isabela's individual deals are, so I'm not going to really talk about it here, but yeah. Using the labels I am familiar with, I assume Bruno is demi, bi, and nonbinary, and that Isabela is a lesbian who ends up marrying a trans woman.

The Married: I mean, we can sit here all day and speculate, but the only real headcanons I got are that Juli is demi and Pepa has made out with more women than Bruno.

Mirabel: I've mentioned this, but I didn't really talk about it. Due to heteronormativity I suspect it wouldn't occur to Mirabel to question her sexuality until later in life when the Pride movement starts up. I think she's bi, possibly also demi, but most definitely not very focused on her love life (another reason why she doesn't think too hard about her sexuality). She's got shit to do and if somebody wants to date her they better speak up about it because she's got too many projects going on right now to bother with mind games. Mirabel ends up with a man mostly by coincidence, I saw somebody do the numbers and its just statistically more likely that a bi person will end up with somebody of the opposite sex (the math didn't factor for gender). I try to keep all of my headcanons grounded to peoples lived experiences, and this felt historically accurate.

Luisa: I think that if Luisa were a tumblrina she would end up being CIS+, but would have to go through the journey of exploring her gender due to societal biases. In the context of 1950's Colombia, she spends her youth hearing abuelas and tias talking about how she needs to be more feminine if she wants a husband, and struggles with that for a while. Luisa sings "I glow because I know what my worth is" and that's the sort of thing somebody says when they're on the other side of some serious self doubt, so I do think she had to deal with a bit of misogyny and body image issues. The thing is, Luisa likes the way she looks, and she's proud of what a hard worker she is, but she also wears ribbons in her hair and skirts instead of pants to work in. Furthermore, I suspect every bi person in the village, male or female, has a huge fucking crush on her because if she was a modern tumblrina people would be responding to pictures of her with that "not to be a lesbian but oh my god" stuff. I headcanon her as being technically cishet, but culturally gay due to people being people about the whole Woman with Biceps thing, if that makes sense. Once she starts allowing herself some free time, she dates every bi man in the village.

Dolores: Morosexual. No offense Mariano.

Camilo: You know how gender is a product of your culture and different societies throughout history have had different ideas of how many genders there are and what it means to be a man or woman? I think being able to turn into a woman at will would have an effect on Camilo's relationship with his gender. Like, I don't know if he would be full nonbinary, because I have never met a shapeshifter and asked them how they feel about gender, but I can't imagine he sees gender as a rigid binary. Like I said, I try to stay grounded in my headcanons, and I have zero idea what the lived experience of a shapeshifter is, soooooo...?

Antonio: I have spent a long time weighing the options here, his association with animals makes me think he would be the least traditional Madrigal, so I would like to think he'd end up in the least conventional relationship. I posted a list of headcanons where I floated the idea of him being poly, but I like the idea of him being aroace better. I stand by the rest of it, though. He marries a lesbian, let's her girlfriend move in with them, and he's just kinda there. Like, the women consider themselves married to each other and he's just some guy who talks to birds. They're his best friends and thinks he's pretty great but the only time he has sex is when him and the wives want kids, and other than that he's just vibing. I arrived at this headcanon because I love the idea of him being sorta a reverse Bruno. Like, people think he has two wives so everybody assumes he's this total lady killer, they sing songs about how charming he is, rumors abound that he can make a girl swoon with a single smile, then you talk to him and he's just some guy. Occasionally, a woman will throw herself at him and he's like "No thanks" then starts having a conversation with her cat. Do you see my vision? Anyone? I don't care if nobody else thinks it's funny, because I'm giggling at my computer.

[fazedlight]

Hi! Sorry if this is too personal, feel free to ignore if that's the case. I'm just interested in talking about queer, esp bi/pan, experiences.

I'm a fellow bisexual and one of my gripes with society at large and the LGBTQ+ community especially is that I often feel like people only see my attraction to same-gender people and erase the fact that I'm also attracted to people of other genders. It has gotten better over the years, but when I was a teenager I even referred to myself as homosexual with exceptions because I only felt welcome in the lesbian community when I denounced all attraction to men and I thought that if I didn't find a home in the lesbian community, I wouldn't be at home anywhere because bisexuality was so heavily erased and mostly seen as a joke or as a half-assed stepping stone to coming out as gay. I'm also not helping my case by being married to a person of the same gender, though I continue to insist that being married to one person of one gender does not make my attractions to other genders invalid.

Most other bisexuals I know have similar experiences to mine on account of either being in a same-gender relationship or single but still defined by their same-gender attraction. From what I've gathered from your profile (and sorry if I'm wrong!), you're married to a person not of the same gender. What are your experiences like? Do people erase your attraction to same-gender people? Does the LGBTQ+ community read your relationship as "straight-passing" and if so, do they take kindly to that? (I'm thinking of sentiments like no "straight" people at pride that completely ignore that people who look "straight" to you might still be queer in so many ways.)

Thank you in advance for your thoughts.

Oh boy, anon, let me tell you, I know a LOT of bi/pan people in your shoes.

This got a bit long, so I'll put my answer below the cut.

My experience these days is pretty chill (I'll get to that), but when I was a baby bi, I remember attending a bi-themed event at our LGBT group in college. I was the only bisexual to show up, and ended up spending over an hour answering questions from people basically grilling me on how bisexuals could even exist. To this day I wish I had just walked out instead of spending all that time being so stressed. It scared me off doing community stuff for a long time, unless I had people around me who I knew.

I've been pretty lucky with queer friends, though - bi/pan people, but also gay and ace - who really saw me. So throughout college and now, my friends' group and the sort of general/informal queer social circles I've run in have been very accepting.

I was never particularly feminine (have never bought makeup, have never owned heels, haven't owned a dress since before I started dating my now-spouse, haven't shaved since freshman year of college, etc). I've always leaned towards men's clothes, and then I started buzzcutting my hair into a short crew cut. I also have a man's wedding band.

Because of all that, I get read as queer in public. It's to the point where, when I start a new job, I can see the looks of confusion when I mention my husband. When people see a butch, they expect a lesbian - so I create a lot of confusion, and they kind of have to accept that I am both queer and have a husband. (I wouldn't be surprised if some of them think I'm confused about my sexuality, but none have made that my problem so far.)

But I feel like the femme bi/pan experience - which is far more common, I feel like butches are fairly rare in my circles whether lesbian or bi - receive much more bullshit from people. Because it's easier to be femme and "look straight", and so femmefolk get written off, even though they're equally valid.

I will say that I think online spaces can feel a bit erasing. Like there's a lot of thirstposting in online culture, but it feels like breaking an unspoken rule to thirstpost about both male and female celebrities*, or to talk about sex with men and women. It always makes me facepalm a bit when people call Claire Max a lesbian, when she's been very clear that (1) she is bi, and (2) she is currently dating both a man and a woman and has even been dating the man (Kyle) for longer. It really saddened me a month ago when an artist who draws a lot of wlw art talked about how people gave her shit for drawing m/f art, too. She shouldn't have to segregate her art to two accounts. (*I think there are also often unspoken rules about nonbinary people, in identity-erasing ways. But that's a rant for another post.)

I've been lucky to not really encounter those erasure problems in IRL queer spaces in recent history - possibly because the ones I've been in have been heavily mixed on the gender/sexuality spectrum.

I feel like a lot of this is very dependent on local norms. I think the more conservative an area is, the harder it is for people to embrace anyone who doesn't fit cleanly into 2 categories. That goes for male/female/nonbinary, straight/gay/bi, top/bottom/vers, etc. It turns out the "fuzzy" categories are actually VERY common. But binaries are easier for people to grasp.

But I feel like I've rambled on enough. In short, these days, I think my butchness & my local context both sort of shield me from some of the common bi problems. Which is lucky for me, but is absolutely a bullshit thing about culture that we all should work on fixing.

You're valid as a bi person, regardless of who you're in a relationship with (or not in a relationship with).