#and reminds me of the guy who wrote pjo

[ofswordsandpens]

trying to read riordan's work post pjo:

[hyperpotamianarch]

So. I am not immune to peer pressure, sadly.

You'd think it means I'm going to be writing a continuation of the Camp Nephilim story, since it's my most upvoted post. Sadly, you'll be wrong. I do not actually have characters or a story there. Feel free to take on this idea and use it in your fanfics, if you want. You might need to remember that it's partially a crossover with an Israeli book, but the most you need to know is: there are Jewish demons, Shedim, going around (along with many other types of demons, really). The details are based on the Talmud, Midrashim and various other Jewish sources about demons, so you can read up on that if you want to take it into account.

So, not Camp Nephilim. Instead, I found that the numbers Percy Jackson seems to make persuaded me to go a little more forward with my Bianca lives fic idea. As is my wont with it, I'm trying to explore the most loyal to canon option, which is why Bianca is still a Hunter of Artemis. She is also, as obligated, lost.

Now, I already wrote a post on it, linked here. I also started rereading the original series as preparation and may have a few notes about the Titan's Curse. However, right now I want to talk about Clarisse La Rue and her own diving into the labyrinth!

Before I continue, @demigodsanswer has posted their own headcanon for what happened. I'm not using that because I discovered it's kind of contradicted by canon, but it's still a good take on it, so I recommend you read it. It reminded me of just how scared Clarisse should be in it as well.

First thing first: continuity. If you actually consider the timeline of PJO, you'll find that Clarisse actually found Chris Rodriguez wandering the desert at the same summer of her quest. Funnily enough, it's also the same summer Percy and Annabeth saw him on the Princess Andromeda. This slightly messes with the timeline, but considering how compressed the book is, it's not really that bad. As far as we know, Luke sent Chris on his merry way before he even caught Percy and Co. in Miami. Meaning, when he first sent scouts to the Labyrinth, Luke was hoping to ressurect Kronos with the Golden Fleece, which is actually an irrelevant detail but whatever.

Either way, the book says Chris was found in full Greek armor, wandering by Clarisse's mother's house, mumbling something about a string. There are multiple options to what that might mean. The first is that, even though she's a year-round camper, Clarisse chose to go back to her mother's house for some time. Likely only on a visit, otherwise her brother would've said she went home after her quest. Obviously Rick was using it for forshadowig purposes, but still. Another option for who found Chris would be Clarisse's mother - who might be one of the mortals able to see through the Mist. I think the first option makes more sense, though.

So, Clarisse just went back home after her first quest. Note, I'm assuming it's her first because there were no quests between Luke's and Percy's and I believe Clarisse isn't old enough to have been on one prior to Luke. She definitely saw the quest as a way to prove herself to her father, but we don't really know about her mother (unless you go by another post from Demigodsanswer. She apparently has a thing for Clarisse, I don't know if she has similar entries for other side characters). Maybe she feels like she needs to prove something to her as well and thought that now she did. Maybe she wanted to relax after a stressful quest. Maybe a near-death experience caused her to want to reconnect, we seriously have no idea why she's a year rounder and it could be she doesn't like her mother.

So, Clarisse is in Phoenix when a guy she new from camp suddenly appears, talking about a string. She already knows Chris is with Luke, I assume - Percy probably informed Camp on that. So now she has a madman on her hands... And here continuity problems start to pile up.

Annabeth said that Clarisse found Chris "last summer", in BotL. This is essential, because a. Chris hadn't met Dionysus at all until the end of BotL, even though Mr. D was only sent on his super important mission after the winter solstice, and b. Annabeth said she helped Clarisse in her mission. Clarisse was on her mission during tTC, when Annabeth was abducted by Dr. Thorn. The latter isn't that much of a problem, though - it's very likely that Annabeth helped Clarisse research before delving into the labyrinth. Actaully, her absence throughout the book helps explaining how come she never told Percy about it at all until BotL - she seriously didn't have time even if she wanted to. The former, however, indicates that Clarisse couldn't have left Chris at camp until after her mission was over. In hindsight, this might be why Demigodsanswer chose to portray finding Chris as happening after the Winter Solstice, while Clarisse's exploration of the Labyrinth and the reasearch occured earlier. It does create a wench in the cause-and-effect cycle, but it solves the problem of how come Dionysus only met crazy Chris at the end of BotL.

All that doesn't really lead us anywhere, so... let's see, what canon explanation could be found for not bringing Chris to camp for three months, while not contradicting canon in every way? Honestly... I don't know. Maybe... maybe Clarisse thought they might execute Chris as a traitor? Maybe Chris was somehow in an untransportable state for over three months? Maybe Clarisse thought she might need his help in the Labyrinth, for some reason? Otherwise... I mean, Chiron seemed to believe - rightly - that Dionysus could heal Chris. Why wouldn't Clarisse think that feasible, and thus want to bring Chris over to Dionysus? It's not like he regularly threatens to turn campers into dolphins. He only done so in extreme situations.

For whatever reason, though, Clarisse doesn't bring him back to camp. Maybe she goes back herself, or contacts Annabeth via Iris-Net. I think it's safe to assume she took some time to research before entering. We only know of two enterances she knew of, though it's not impossible to assume that she went through some others. She was alone, however - right after her quest, which she also went on alone - and she got lost there.

I don't know how long she was there, or what she encountered - but whatever it is, she probably told Annabeth about it, and it scarred her. And of course, that is what actually is relevant to our story.

If you've read my original stream-of-thought post about the Bianca is alive fic, you might remember I suggested having Bianca team up with Luke's people. The main reason I had for that is that I wanted Bianca to have some parallels to Atalanta, and two of her central myths are about groups of people she went on quests with: the Calydonian Boar hunt and the Argonauts. So, I wanted to try and team Bianca up with someone. Luke's army seemed a more likely place to have misogyny trouble, but that would be really stupid. After all, every soul joining them brings them a step closer to bringing Kronos back. Clarisse, on the other hand, is exactly the sort of person to be angry over having the glory stolen from her. I did realize that I can't actually have Bianca join a large group, because Luke explicitly says that larger groups tend to have more trouble, which is why he sent lone scouts.

So, I formed in my head a general idea of Bianca and Clarisse meeting and how it would go. Part of the idea includes Bianca killing the Calydonian boar - only for some reason, at this point, Clarisse thinks the boar was sent by Ares to help her, as his sacred animal. I was somewhat hesitant about it after realizing how desparate she's going to be - but honestly, at this point her desparation would probably lead to her going off the hinges attempting to kill Bianca. Hmm. So yeah, I might be going with that. It'll also fit the theme of Cadmus, to a certain degree. Clarisse would fail killing Bianca, of course, though I'm not sure exactly how. We'll see.

I do think I really need to plan the Minos parts first, though. He's a secret power behind things at this point, and considering Binca's life effect on Nico's plotline at the time... This needs some pondering.

Anyway, thank you for reading! Have a good day!

[wordsmithic]

Good addition! Let me remind everyone that the Greek myths are cultural heritage of the Greeks - yes we exist - and we still respect our national gods. Like, they are important cultural figures for our people and society. Okay? Okay. In our ancient cosmology we are descended from them. If we hadn't kept their stories written and alive, your asses in the notes couldn't argue for yassifying them. (Because the West remembered our gods as soon Hellenes/Eastern Romans came as refugees there in the 15th century).

Like, the Theoi don't have to be worshipped today for someone to respect them as someone else's cultural figures. (They sure aren't a cultural figure for you if you learned about them through pjo or one time in class as funny stories). It's apparent you guys never connected Greek myths with Greece and its people, so please unlearn that, thanks. Also to consider your work the same as ancient Hellenes organically creating folklore and plays for their gods???? The Disrespect???? Not even Hellenes ourselves think our modem stories follow the same spirit as those of our ancients. These are heritage works.

We are not to continue the tradition because we are mentally unable to continue it in the same spirit and context in 2023 as the same way it happened back then. That's common sense not only for the Hellenes but for most nations on earth who have ancient stories. And even if you as a reader disagree with it, I don't care. That's how the Hellenes treat their heritage, and when you are writing about another culture's heritage, better listen to them a bit and understand what they deem disrespectful. (I thought it was courtesy on this quite sensitive site but apparently when cultures "come for your fave fics" here goes the virtue, out the window). As another person wrote

in general i dont like the treating of (ancient, “"dead”“) mythologies as fandom

[thebluesideofmyworld]

A Good Guy - A Solangelo One-Shot

Summary: Will might be a lot of things. And among those things, Will would dare to say that he’s a good guy. But when it came to Nico di Angelo, would he ever be good enough, though?

Word count: 3900 words || Rating: Teenage and Up Audiences || Read on AO3

Notes:

1. Based on the song "good guys" by LANY 2. My contribution for @after-everything-pjo-zine project. Check out other fics (each fic is accompanied by great fanart so you just HAVE to check it out) in the zine here.

***

Will might be a lot of things. And among those things, Will would dare to say that he’s a good guy. And he would proudly say that it’s because his family raised him to be one. His Mama made sure that he never forgot to say please, sorry and thank you, and his grandma taught him to respect people. Even though Apollo wasn’t around to be an ideal father as Will was growing up in Tennessee, his grandpa showed him how to be a Southern gentleman.

So yeah, he might come across as a young man who with a sassy attitude. But heck, Will knew that he was a good guy. And he’s proud of that.

But here’s the thing. Here’s a thing about being a good guy. Being a good guy might sound like it’s a good thing to do. But being a good guy also sometimes meant that you’re almost as invisible as a wallflower. Because even though you’re good, there were always be better guys. And one thing that Will learned about being a good guy? Good guys never win.

***

“It’s been almost two weeks, you know,” Will said as he kept his eyes at the monthly medical report that he (pretended) to be reading.

“Two weeks since what?” Kayla asked, but didn't bother to pretend that she's actually interested.

“Since Nico went for that quest, remember? Something about Persephone’s parrot or something?” Will said, still trying to keep his eyes at the notes. Because he knew that Kayla might still see the worry in Will’s eyes. (Sometimes it’s almost scary, how his siblings knew him too well).

“Oh? Really? Has it been two weeks yet?”

“Almost,” Will said, decided to leave the detail that it’s actually has been 11 days and since Nico had left the camp early in the morning and now it was almost dinner, it’s been almost twelve freaking days since Nico left the camp for that stupid quest.

“I mean, of course, it might be nothing but well, I thought it was supposed to be a short, simple quest?” Will continued. “Usually if it’s just this small quest, it never took him this long before. Usually it would just be like, three days, five, at the most, and like, a week if he took a detour to impulsively do something unnecessary, but never this long.”

Will lifted his head and turned to look at Kayla, who didn’t seem to share the same worry as Will. Her eyes were still fixed on the glossy pictures of the magazine that she was looking at. A non-committal hum coming from her was the only sign that she was (kind of) listening.

Will tried to focus on the lines of writing in front of him, but the letters were all jumbled and he couldn’t make himself try to read anything. His mind was too busy thinking about different reasons and scenarios of why Nico wasn’t back yet from the quest.

“Do you think I should ask Chiron about it? Probably he’s heard from Nico, y’know. Like, maybe something came up and I don’t know, maybe Chiron knew or maybe even Rachel got a vision or something, or-“

“Or you could have just contacted me, Solace. Pretty sure that it doesn't hurt to try IM me”

Will stood up and spun to face the direction where the voice was coming from. He did it so fast, he got dizzy because of it. It took him two seconds before his eyes could fully focus on Nico di Angelo, who was staring at him. His face looked nonchalant, but his eyes glinted with amusement.

“Uh, hey,” Will greeted, gripping the desk as he suddenly needed to get a hold of himself. “You’re back.”

Nico gave him a single nod, brushing away some strands of hair from covering his eyes. “Yep. I just got back.” He shrugged his shoulders before continuing. “Thought I’d drop by here before I report to Chiron.”

Will tightened his grip on the desk, trying his best to hold himself from closing the distance between him and Nico just to pull Nico into his arms.

“And uh… What brings you here?”

The emotional part of him wished that he was the reason why Nico came straight to the infirmary after the quest. But the rational part of him shushed him. That damned rational part of him told him that hey, it was him who wanted to see Nico, not the other way around.

Nico kept his eyes at Will and there was something in those dark eyes that Will couldn’t really put his fingers on.

“I thought you wanted me to have a check-up every time I got back from a quest?”

Of course.

Will tried to ease the dull pain in his heart by giving Nico a small smile. “Yeah. Of course. Need to make sure that you won’t fade into the shadows again, huh?” Will let out a nervous chuckle. “I mean, I am your doctor, and a doctor only wants the best for his patients.”

This time Nico stayed silent as he nodded. Will gestured to a nearby cot with his chin.

“Now, if you could just sit down over there, please?”

Still saying nothing, Nico strode to the cot and quickly sat there. Will took a deep breath, mentally telling himself to be professional, and let it out in a long exhale. He made his way to where Nico was waiting for him.

The check-up was a regular one. And there was nothing new about how touching Nico made stupid butterflies do some stupid dancing in his stomach. He ached to ask Nico questions about what happened in the quest and why it took so long. He wanted to know whether Nico ever thought of him while he was on the quest the way Will kept on thinking about him while he was away. He wanted to listen to Nico talk to him, with that slight accent that made his voice so melodious, almost like he was singing.

But it would only scare Nico away.

So he kept his eyes at the board where he jotted down the notes about Nico’s vitals.

“So, uhm… This quest was a bit longer than usual, huh?” Will asked, almost proud of himself that his voice sounded normal.

Nico hummed as he put his jacket back on. “Yeah, we had an unexpected encounter with some empousai. Luckily, David is unexpectedly good at fighting.”

At the mention of the name, Will lifted his head up. “David? You mean the new camper? That Athena kid?”

Nico nodded. “Yeah. For someone who never held a sword before, I have to say that I’m impressed.”

A strange, nauseating heat flared inside Will’s stomach. “Really?”

“Yup. In fact, I promised to give him an extra lesson in sword-fighting tomorrow.”

That strange heat swirled even more inside Will. He stretched his lips into a lame attempt to smile at Nico.

“Oh,” Will said. “Nice.”

“In one way, he strangely reminded me of Percy, you know? The way he held his sword.” And Nico continued talking for a while about that stupid new guy. Will listened, humming every now and then just to show Nico that he’s listening.

Half of his mind wished that the harpies would find that David kid to be a nice target for their dinner. The other half of his mind scowled at him for having that kind of evil wish.

“Okay. Everything looks good. Just make sure that you drink enough water,” Will said as he wrote the date and signed his name on the bottom part of the report.

“So I can go now?”

Will nodded. “Yeah, you’re free to go now,” he answered as he walked back to his desk to put the record in the folder.

“And you’re not even offering to walk me back to my Cabin like a good Southern gentleman?”

Will spun on his heel quickly. He stared at Nico with wide eyes, thinking that he might have been hallucinating.

“What?”

Nico snorted and slid down from the cot. “Never mind. I need to report to Chiron first anyway.”

Will blinked, and it took him a full two seconds before he had his voice again.

“Nico-“

But Nico was already one step away from the door. He stopped and looked at Will over his shoulder. The left tip of his lips curled up, just slightly, forming a ghost of a smile. He gave a two-finger salute to Will.

“I’ll see you around, Solace.”

Not waiting for Will to answer him, Nico stepped away. And just like that, he’s out of sight.

Will stared at the open door. There is this hollowness inside his heart that he couldn't explain. Like he just missed a chance.

He always thought that he’s a good guy. Or at least, he’s trying to.

But would he ever be good enough, though?

***

“What are you doing here?”

Lou Ellen’s voice startled Will.

“Me? Uh…” Will scrambled to pick up the book that he just dropped and showed it to Lou, like he was trying to prove something. “I was reading!”

Lou Ellen stared at him with a glint of amusement in her eyes as she gave Will the Look. The ‘don’t-give-me-bullshit’ Look.

“What, am I not allowed to read in peace?” Will said, a bit defensively.

“Hey, it’s cool dude,” Lou said. “In fact, it was nice to see you somewhere else aside from the infirmary,” she added.

Will relaxed a bit, going back to lean his back on the tree.

“I can see why you choose this spot. It’s much quieter than the infirmary on your busy days,” Lou said.

Will hummed.  His eyes flickered to the far left, to the clearing a few yards away, just for a split second before he opened his book.

“And the view from here is also… decent.”

Lou Ellen’s tone made Will quickly look up again at the daughter of Hecate. She’s now grinning at him, like she just figured something out.

“How long have you been spying on those two?” Lou asked, gesturing with her chin to two demigods in the clearing who seemed to just finished sparring.

Will gaped at her. He blinked and quickly shook his head. “What? No! I’ve told you, I was reading here!”

But Lou Ellen didn’t seem to care about Will’s reaction as she waved at the demigods in the clearing.

“Hey, Nico! David!”

Will’s eyes widened in horror this time as he turned his head around, only to see that Nico and the new Athena kid walked towards them.

“Lou!” he hissed in annoyance.

Lou Ellen just gave him a teasing smirk. “What?”

Will groaned and quickly stood up, his book abandoned on the grass as he unconsciously ran a hand over his wild locks.

“Hey,” Nico greeted. “What’s up?”

Nothing’s up aside from his heartbeat, Will would like to answer. But of course, he kept it to himself as he tried his best to school his face into a relaxed, nonchalant, I’m-just-chilling-here expression.

“Nothing much,” Lou Ellen shrugged her shoulders. “You two are sparring together here? Why? Is the arena too mainstream for you?”

The new Athena kid gave a half-smile as he brushed off some hair from covering his eyes. “It was my request, actually,” he said. “I just want to have a...” he waved his right in a vague circular motion, like trying to find the exact word to say. “A more… realistic view when fighting a monster?”

That didn’t really make sense to Will. But it seemed to be an acceptable reason for Lou Ellen as she nodded at him.

“And has Nico been a good teacher for you?” Lou Ellen asked.

Will didn’t miss the way Lou gave him a quick glance.

David’s half-smile turned into a full one. “He is!” He turned his head to Nico and smiled at him, like he was pleased at Nico. “Thanks for teaching me, Nico. You are very good at sword-fighting.”

Nico returned David’s smile with one of his small smiles. A smile that could have filled Will’s chest with warm air. But since he’s not at the receiving end of that smile, it turned Will’s chest into lead instead.

“Anytime. It was a pleasure.”

“You will teach me more, yes? And ah… We also need to talk more. About football.”

This was the first time for Will to really listen to David talking, and he couldn’t help but notice how David’s voice had quite an accent. Especially when he pronounced football, the way he stretched some syllables.

Nico’s face lit up. “Yeah! We should! I know that Cecil played football! Right?” His eyes darted from Will to Lou Ellen, like asking for confirmation.

“Cecil? He does. I can take you to talk to him. Come on,” Lou Ellen quickly pulled the sleeve of David’s shirt and led him away from the other two demigods.

Will watched the backs of Lou Ellen and David who were walking away from them. He could feel nervousness starting to creep in on him as their voices slowly faded away, as he realized that he’s now alone with Nico.

Not that he hated to be with Nico. It’s just… this wasn’t his plan. He wasn’t prepared. And Will hated it when things didn’t go as he planned. He hated it when he was unprepared.

“David played football,” Nico said just when David and Lou Ellen disappeared from their sight.

Will angled his neck to look at Nico. “And when you said football, did you mean soccer?”

“I mean football,” Nico answered, turning on his heels a little so now he was facing Will. “The real football.”

Will snorted and slid down to sit on the grass. “They’re the same,” he said, leaning his back on the tree.

Nico followed Will, sitting on the grass. “It will always be football for me,” he said. There was a melancholic tone lacing his voice. And it made Will wonder, maybe it’s something that Nico used to play. In the streets in Venice, when he was just a kid who had no idea that Greek gods and goddesses were real.

“We, David and I, we were talking about playing here. I mean, it would be great, you know? David said he played midfield. I’m usually,” Nico paused, but quickly continued. “I mean, I used to play as a striker. If we can connect well, that would be really cool.”

Will closed his eyes while his stomach churned with a strange, unpleasant feeling. So, not only was this David kid good in sword-fighting, he’s good in soccer too?

“Do you play too? I mean, you can be the goal keeper. I guess you would be great. I mean, you’re tall and it would be a great asset for a goalkeeper.”

Will huffed. Stuck between the goalposts while watching Nico and David scoring goals? Yeah. No, thank you.

“We’ll see about that,” Will said, still with his eyes closed.

For a while, none of them said anything. Will opened his eyes when he heard Nico sighed. He turned his head, watching Nico stand up. Nico brushed his pants, and gave Will a small smile.

“I’ll see you around, Solace.”

Will wondered why that smile looked a bit strained, but returned it anyway. “Yeah. I’ll see you around.”

He watched as Nico walked away.

Someone would be a good guy for Nico, he thought. And even though Will was a good guy, maybe he just wasn’t good enough. So of course, someone would be a good guy for Nico. Someone else. Not Will.

***

Will didn’t even know why he was here, standing awkwardly near the table where the food and drinks were.

Oh, yes. Because Cecil and Lou Ellen practically dragged him here, to this stupid Halloween party organized by the Aphrodite Cabin.

It’s not that Will disliked Halloween. And it wasn’t like he hated Halloween parties either. What he didn’t like, was seeing Nico talking with David at the other corner of the room. Just looking at the sight made a strange, nauseating fire flame inside of him.

“Pining over di Angelo again?” Lou Ellen nudged him on his shoulder.

“Yeah. How long are you going to act like this Will? Playing it cool while we all know how you wish you’re the one talking to di Angelo instead of David?” Cecil joined Lou Ellen in interrogating Will.

Will only rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what you guys are talking about,” he mumbled, and took another sip of Coke from his cup. He tried to watch the campers who were dancing in the middle of the floor. Some kids from the Hermes cabin somehow got a hold of speakers. And of course, with a little help from the Hephaestus kids, the party had a cool sound system that was now playing pop music.

Lou Ellen sighed. Will stole another glance at where Nico was standing. David was leaning a little to whisper something at Nico. The proximity between those two made it a little bit harder for Will to breathe. He wondered what it was that David was telling Nico. But then Nico turned his head to Will. And no matter how cliché it might sound, Will’s heart skipped a beat when their eyes met. Will quickly looked down to the floor.

Next to him, Lou Ellen clicked her tongue.

“You know what? I can’t take this anymore. It’s been MONTHS. This has got to end tonight,” she said. Ignoring Will’s protest, she grabbed Will’s wrist and pulled him along with her, walking towards Nico and David.

A few seconds later, Will was standing with a flustered face in front of Nico and David.

“Hey, Nico, David! You guys enjoying the party?”

David gave that half-smile again. “Ah, yes. The party is nice.” He angled his neck just a bit so now he was looking right at Will. The half-smile subtly transformed into a knowing smirk. “And you? You… You are the healer, yes? Will?”

Will forced himself to smile politely at David. “Yeah. That’s me.”

David gave a single nod. “Nico talked a lot about you. A lot of good things.”

Will blinked. His eyes darted to Nico, but the raven-haired boy looked away from him. Still, his cheeks were a dark shade of red.

“Is that Cecil over there? I think I want to talk to him,” David suddenly said as he pointed at Cecil with his chin. “Lou Ellen? Come with me?”

Lou Ellen grinned as she nodded and made a 90-degree turn on her heels. “Yeah, come on, David. Let's leave these two idiots.”

And just like that, they left Will again, standing awkwardly less than two feet away from Nico.

“Uh… I didn’t expect to see you here,” Will said.

Nico turned his head at Will, an eyebrow slightly raised up. “Oh? I thought you were the one saying that I need to work on my social skill.”

Will gave Nico a small smile. “Yeah. So. Good to see you here, then. I mean, for your social skills and all.”

Nico stared at Will. And there was just something behind those dark eyes. Something that Will couldn’t put into words. Something that made him unable to look away.

“Aren’t you going to ask me to dance, Solace?”

The question got Will off-guard. Of all the questions in the world, it’s probably the most unexpected one.

“Huh?”

Nico held his eyes at Will’s for another second, but then he looked away. “Never mind,” he said, half-mumbling. His cheeks blushed again into dark cherry color.

“But… do you want to, though?”

Nico’s head turned back to Will. “Want to do what?”

“Dance? Do you…want to?”

Nico bit his lower lip and he looked down for a second. When he looked up back at Will, his charcoal eyes were soft.

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“On who’s asking me to.”

Will’s heart started to jump around in his chest.

“What if it’s me asking you?”

The eyes that were staring back at him were now smiling.

“Then I guess, it depends on the song, then.”

Will’s heart was probably doing some crazy somersaults right now, but his lips curled up without him even thinking about it.

“Well, it’s my favorite song that they’re playing right now. I hope it suits you?” he asked, carefully offering his hand.

Nico’s smile was as soft as the look in his eyes. And the moment their fingertips touched, Will’s heart soared high and suddenly his chest was filled with warm, light air.

As Will led Nico to the floor, he thought about how long he has been wanting to do this, to hold Nico’s hand in his.

They swayed along with the music. Nico’s left hand felt perfect in his right hand. Will’s left hand rested on Nico’s hip and Will couldn’t care less about the other people dancing around them.

“Your dancing is better than your singing,” Nico said, a playful smile on his lips.

Will chuckled. “My grandma said a real Southern gentleman must know how to dance. And I remember my Mama dancing with me when I was a kid.”

“Your Mam raised you well, I have to say.”

Will hummed. “I’m a good mama’s boy, I can promise you that.”

“I can see that, Will. Everyone can see that.”

“See what?”

“That you’re a good guy.”

This time Will held his eyes at Nico. “I try to be,” he said. “But… Would I ever be good enough for you?”

Nico huffed. “And you said I was the dense one.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Nico stopped, but his feet kept on moving. He sighed. “Gods, do I really have to spell it out to you?” He asked, sounding exasperated as he looked away from Will.

Hope bloomed inside of Will and he grinned and oh, how he wanted to shout and laugh. He took his hand off Nico’s hip so he could gently cup Nico’s cheek, guiding him to face him back.

“Do you mean you like me?” Will asked.

“Well, do you like me?”

Will chuckled and he could feel a stupid smile creeping in. “Why do you even have to ask?”

Nico shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Because you’re nice to me but you’re also nice to everyone? Because you don’t seem to care even if I talk about someone else? Because you…” Nico stopped again and shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe because I just…don’t know?”

Will squeezed Nico’s hand just a bit tighter. “I was just… I was just afraid that I’m not good enough for you.”

Nico rolled his eyes. But his lips twitched, like he tried to hold back a smile.

“You’re a good guy, Will. You’re a good guy to everyone. But sometimes I hope that you can be my good guy.”

It’s like a thousand birds were singing inside of Will now as he felt like he was floating in this bubble of happiness.

“Then I’ll be yours, Death Boy.”

Will wrapped his arms around Nico, and pulled him into his embrace.

“I’ll be your good guy, then. I’ll be your everything.”

Nico pulled himself a little away from Will. He looked up at Will and the light in his eyes was like the most beautiful star in a dark night.

“Everything?”

“Everything. Anything you need.”

***

Additional Author's Notes: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it :). Reblogs, replies or any other feedbacks are much appreciated. Also please don't forget to check out the zine!!!

[yellowocaballero]

you've once again taken a child character who is lowkey traumatized and also internalized being a burden to caretakers and made being a "bad kid" as a shield so no one can use it against you and i fucking love that you nailed it wonderful job as always i'm going to go cry into my coffee 💜💜💜

Coffee? Bro, where do you Iive?

But okay like I really don’t have strong opinions on PJO, and I hope I never will, but I was reminiscing on the series with a friend of mine and I was just so strongly reminded of how I feel like RR kinda slapped Percy with a hilariously traumatic backstory and then didn’t explore that. 

It’s established that he’s really poor, that he had to switch around schools a lot, that due to his ADHD and dyslexia he didn’t do well, and that he was basically viewed as a delinquent. His mom’s the only person who’s ever always been in his corner. I do think that does things to a kid. Percy is a good kid - he really, deeply is - and I think it has to be crushing to have everybody around you tell you you’re not. After a little while, you begin to believe it. And a little while after that, then you begin playing into it and acting into that role, because it doesn’t matter anyway. This happens ALL THE TIME. 

Lots of things like that. His Mom made some bad decisions. It wasn’t fair to Percy to not tell him who his dad was, because that ignorance literally put him in danger. I also deeply, deeply hate the “Mom stayed with an abusive guy to protect him” thread that was barely even brought up again after that. Like, I hate it. It wasn’t explicitly stated in the story I just wrote, but I just tweaked it so his Mom had a string of bad boyfriends (I guess Gabe would have entered the picture when Percy was 10 or something but thankfully they were both saved from that in this fic).  It’s why he hates men and is over-protective and over-guilty about his Mom’s happiness. I think a kid like Percy would feel like the world was on his shoulders, because he persistently sees his mother’s unhappiness due to things he views as his fault but that he can’t control. He’s a guilty, unhappy kid, and he’s too young to understand why all of this is happening. 

So it’s interesting to take somebody who already maladaptively has Chronic Hero Syndrome, and then put him in the classical role of Greek Hero. He’s a child of prophecy, he’s the protagonist, the world is LITERALLY on his shoulders. You can do stuff with that. I probably could do stuff with that! However, Luke successfully blackmailed Olympus and organized demigods into a worker’s union so quests are an opt-in thing only and greatly reduced to only adults in as safe a setting as possible. So none of that whole thing is happening. Fix-it AU, let’s go. 

I think it would be funny to write Percy as a 16, 17 year old who is Such An Obvious Protaganist Who Is Great At Everything And A Prodigy Who Is Always Defeating Medusa Or Something, but he’s also just vibing and saying fuck you to gods and not giving a shit. I think the only way a happy ending can be had in PJO is if demigods completely remove themselves from Olympic affairs and decide to care about each other instead. So I like to think that’s Percy.

Anyway, if I do write this then I know me and it would spiral so I'm still figuring out if this extremely, extremely weak premise (Fix-it fic writers: ‘everything is good now and conflict is gone’ is not a good story) can hold the weight of a plot. Stay tuned I guess. 

ALSO HOLY SHIT CHB IS NOT A FUNCTIONAL SYSTEM. IT SUCKS. IF YOUR SYSTEM HAS NOBODY SURVIVING TO 18, IT’S A BAD SYSTEM, PLEASE CHANGE IT. 

[theartofimaginaryfriends]

Chapter 4 - Low Morale

Fic Series: The Final Straw (HP/PJO Crossover)

Premise: Nova and Payton reunite after four years, and the daughter of Hecate has a chat with Percy.

Masterlist

Taglist: @ilvermornymascot, @lukecastellandeservedbetter

Word Count: 1,355

A/N: The conversation between Nova and Percy wrote itself, and I had absolutely no control over it. So there’s things about my own OC that I didn’t even know until it ended up on the page XD the rest, however, was a bit of a struggle to write but we got there eventually! As usual, please let me know if you want to be added to the taglist and please comment as it helps keep me motivated!

Nova sat on her bed struggling to pin the Head Girl Badge onto her cardigan and got increasingly frustrated as it weighed down the fabric. She wanted to get out of the room quickly to avoid being face-to-face with Payton, but the pin had other plans. "Hey, Nova."  

"Wills." Nova went back to struggling, hoping the Gryffindor wouldn't say another word to her.  

"Look, about fourth-year-" just her luck, she wanted to talk.  

"I don't want to hear it."  

"We're rooming together for the year," Payton rolled her eyes. "I'm just trying to make it easier for both of us."  

"Alright, fine." The witch sighed and looked up.  

"I was awful to you when you transferred to Hogwarts," she admitted. "And I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. Just please, give me a chance like you're doing with Draco."  

"Why should I?" Nova kept a neutral expression.  

"Voldemort was wrong," Payton continued. "I figured that out in Year Six, but I couldn't change sides no matter how much I wanted to. I was weak, and fell into a dark path because I didn't know where else to go." 

"You get one shot to prove yourself. One." Nova gave in. Payton seemed truly remorseful of what she had done in the past – both to Nova and to her friends – and she had a point. If Nova was giving Malfoy a second chance, Payton deserved one too. "But if you try anything on myself or any of my friends, I will get you kicked out."  

"I'll take it," Payton shrugged. Nova stood up, having given up on the badge, and searched through her trunk for a jacket. "What are you looking for?"  

"The Head Girl badge isn't sitting right on my cardigan," Nova sighed. "I have a jacket that might support it better, but I don't know where it- Connor and Travis."  

"What? Who?"  

"Just a couple of friends from camp," Nova shook her head. "I need to find them to find my jacket, but I'll see you at the campfire. And if not the fire, then back in the room."  

"Hold on," Payton grabbed the badge from Nova's bed and stopped the girl at the door. Nova tensed as Payton pinned it to her cardigan, and connected it to her shirt. She was stunned at the bold move the Hogwarts student made, not sure if she should punch her or back away.  

"Thank you, but I really have to go." She left the building in a hurry, needing to get away from Payton before a panic attack ensued. She was overstepping a boundary already, and it hadn't even been a day, let alone an hour. Nova wasn't even sure why she agreed to give Payton a chance so quickly.  

Before joining Lucas at the far end of the campfire, Nova sat down on one of the logs to take a breather. To distract herself, she looked around the area, noting the new additions to the residence. The lodges each donned an emblem of each house above the doors, distinguishing each building. This area was adjacent to the castle, and a bridge connected both areas. In front of the lodges, and a few feet from surrounding picnic tables, sat a massive firepit. It resembled the one at Camp Half-Blood, but it was designed to fit over six-hundred students as well as the staff.  

Percy was sitting next to her, still in his uniform. He seemed more upset than before, and Nova spoke up in hopes to calm him down. "You know, most students are eager to get out of the uniform right after dinner."  

"Most students haven't had to deal with watching their friends die due to a prophecy, going missing for months, and waking up with amnesia only to be forced into yet another prophecy," Percy complained. "I'm sick of doing the God's dirty work."  

"That's why you stormed out."  

"Wouldn't you?" He asked. "Especially since it seems like Chiron and the Headmaster dude knew it was coming."  

"I suppose," she replied. "And whether or not they knew, it's for the best that both communities become friends rather than enemies."  

"Annabeth disagrees," Percy sighed. "She doesn't think this is a good idea. I tried to remind her that she had the same mindset with the Romans, but that was hopeless."  

"Are you two doing okay?" Nova asked.          

"Everything's been weird since the breakup," he shrugged. "We're still friends, but it's been hard to adjust back to it. At least it is for Annabeth. Apparently she had a crush on me for a long time before we started dating."  

"Percy, everyone knew about her crush except you," Nova snickered. "Gods, it was kind of painful to watch."  

"Yeah, I've heard that quite a bit," he chuckled darkly. Percy shifted so that he fully faced Nova. "Look, I'm sorry. After I came back from that quest, I distanced myself from most of the Hermes cabin. After what happened with Luke..."  

"That hit us hard," she shook her head. "Even his death... Luke wasn't a bad guy, just misguided. The two of you became really close, so I don't see a reason for you to apologize."  

"No, I know," Percy said. "But you and I were close, too. Closer than I ever was with Annabeth. I just... I regret pushing you away."  

"We'll talk about it later," Nova sighed. She hadn't thought about it in years. Percy would cut their conversations short and made any and every excuse to stay away from her. No one noticed, with Nova keeping to herself most of the time. Eventually, Percy had mostly forgotten about her. The witch didn’t care about that now, but back then it was painful. "It's been a long day, and we've got an hour before the campfire if you want to change out of the uniform."

"Nova- yeah, you're right," Percy stood up, failing to mask his disappointment. "I'll see you later, then."  

He began walking away, until Nova stopped him.

"Percy?" The son of Poseidon stopped in his tracks and turned to look at his friend. "I'm here if you need to talk."  

"Thanks," he smiled. "Same on my end, alright?"  

"Yeah," Nova smiled back. Percy made his way towards the Thunderbird cabin, and Nova circled around the pit to Lucas. They had to talk to the prefects about their duties for the rest of the year. The Head Girl explained what to do if any demigods got into fights, and wouldn't listen if asked to stop. She was instructing them on how to deal with Clarisse La Rue specifically when Chiron announced that the final activity of the evening would begin in fifteen minutes.  

Most of the demigods showed up, and a small group of the wizards did. The numbers made the divide between everyone even more obvious. The wizards collected in a small semicircle, the demigods taking up the rest of the area. Some of the staff tried to encourage them to disperse and enjoy it together, but Headmaster Tahamente stopped them. It was only the first night, this was expected.  

The campfire began with the Ilvermorny school anthem, the Headmaster using magic to write the words in the sky for everyone to follow along. After that, they alternated to sing the songs Camp Half-Blood was familiar with, as well as campfire songs that the wizards were familiar with. The flames at the campfire flickered between gold and purple, the tension in the air showing the low morale within the group. Most of the demigods didn’t even have their hearts in the sing-along, no matter how much the Apollo Cabin tried.  

At the end, the Headmaster and Chiron bid the students a good night, and everyone went off to bed. The atmosphere grew even more awkward than before, and no one seemed in the mood to hang out until curfew. The common room was completely empty, everyone had gone to their rooms. Nova hoped she wouldn't be woken up to resolve any issues on the first night, as she shut the curtains on her four-poster. The last thing she needed was more drama.

[novemberwasgrey]

Last night, I had a dream about Leo Valdez and Chris Rodriguez drunk singing "La Cucaracha" with sombreros.. Is it a sign I should write a pjo/hoo karaoke one shot?

Remember that? Well, I actually wrote it. There's Chrisse, Jasper mentioned, Liper friendship, Piperisse friendship (is that even their shipname?). Sorry for grammar errors, English still isn't my mother tongue. Enjoy!

You can read it on AO3 too (link)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Uh, Clarisse?"

Sighing heavily, Clarisse turned away from the dummy she was crumbling to pieces to face the person who had dared to interrupt her training.

"What is it McLean? I'm busy."

Piper approached, not the slightest scared of the daughter of Ares unlike most campers. She had learned to get to know Clarisse since she was in camp and if anything, this girl was just another example of a big heart well hidden under layers of steel (and she was also the only other person to side with when Drew was being a bitch).

"I, um, kinda need your help with how the karaoke night's progressing." she finally said, putting her hands in her jeans pockets.

Again, Clarisse sighed and put down her spear against a bench. This stupid karaoke was an idea of those dam Apollo kids and she had made it perfectly clear from the beginning that she wouldn't take any part in it.

"What now? If my siblings ridiculed themselves-"

"Oh no, we're past that, Connor and Sherman already did the stupidest singing contest on Final Countdown. Most of your cabin went to bed actually. But, um... The Stolls thought it'd be a good idea to steal some of Mr D's wine bottles...

Clarisse could already feel the headache coming as she ran a hand over her face wearily. Catching the water bottle Piper gave her, she followed her out of the arena to the Apollo cabin.

"How wasted everyone is?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"LA CUCARACHA! HEY! La Cucaracha, la Cucaracha, hey hey, ya no puede caminar... ¡Porque le falta, porque le falta–"

"What... On... Hades..." Clarisse voiced, not even sure what to do or say right now.

On the small scene the Apollo kids had set in their cabin for the event were standing Leo Valdez and Chris Rodriguez singing (or rather, screaming in the mic) the most cliche Hispanic song that ever existed. Both were wearing sombreros and colorful ponchos, shaking maracas in all directions.

Clarisse loves her boyfriend, she really does. But right now, he looked like the most ridiculous fool she's ever laid her eyes on.

Next to her, Piper was chuckling.

"Oh. Well they weren't as bad when I went to get you."

Around them, everyone else was pretty intoxicated. Some were laughing at Chris and Leo's performance, others were making out, the Stolls were preparing new murderous cocktails with different wines and juice, and some who didn't seem to tolerate alcohol that good were already snoring on any comfortable surface of the cabin.

"Is that Drew with Kayla?!" Piper shrieked at two campers making out on the couch.

"Stay focused, McLean! " Clarisse reminded, feeling her patience wearing thin. "I'm going to kill the Stolls one day... I'll take care of Chris, you of Valdez?"

"Got it."

They got on the stage once the song was over and the boys practically jumped on them with exaggerated joy.

"Pipeeees! My favorite girl in the world! Oops, don't tell Cal' I said that." Leo shouted before he started to laugh hysterically, his sombrero falling from his head.

"Don't worry, it'll be our little secret." Piper promised as she was retaining a smile.

Lucky for him, Calypso had been gone for two days when Reyna and Hazel offered to make her visit New Rome.

Clarisse, however, was far from laughing at her boyfriend's antics.

"Clary!" The son of Hermes shouted as he smothered her in his arms.

"I told you not to call me that in public!"

"I missed you so m... What's the word again? Much. I missed you so much."

"Let's get you guys to bed." the daughter of Aphrodite reasoned as she eventually got a hold on Leo's frame – he was falling asleep anyway.

"Woooow, slow down McLean! You're not my type, I'mma go to bed with only one girl here and that's the drakon slayer next to meee-"

"Rodriguez, shut the Hades up!" Clarisse yelped, her cheeks red, with anger or because of what Chris had just said, that Piper will never know.

With a strength that wasn't even surprising anymore when you got to know Clarisse la Rue, she pulled her boyfriend forcefully to her side and helped him get off the stage, holding him by his shoulders.

At some point, Piper had to carry Leo on her back as he couldn't walk at all.

Reaching the Dionysus cabin – Pollux had made it the official cabin for drunk people to sleep in – had never been more difficult for the two girls. Leo, still perched on Piper's back, was loudly complaining at Chris that they didn't have time to sing Viva La Vida Loca and Chris was shouting the cheesiest love declarations to the poor daughter of Ares.

When they finally got to Cabin 12, the young Cherokee girl made sure Leo drank enough water to mitigate the horrible hangover that would come next morning while Clarisse helped Chris laying on a bunk.

"Mmh, Claryyyy. Come on, say it. At least one time."

Clarisse sighed. "Fine. I love you."

"Mmh, I luv you too... You're the love of my life..." Chris replied as he yawned and his eyes closed.

Piper was sure she had seen the ghost of a smile appearing on Clarisse's face but if she did, she didn't point it out. Soon, the two drunkards were fast asleep and all the girls could hear as they sat on a bunk facing them, was their snoring.

Clarisse turned to her, her face dead serious. "If you ever repeat what you heard tonight-"

"I won't! Cool down. Besides, you're not the only one. Leo rambled the entire night about how I'm the best supreme best friend he ever had, but that I can't tell Jason about it."

The war girl snorted. "Speaking of which, why didn't you have fun with your boyfriend and all the other fools over there?"

The Cherokee shrugged, leaning on her elbows. "I don't know. Sometimes I just don't like to mingle with the crowd. And I knew someone was going to have to stay conscious. Even Annabeth's drunk."

"You gotta be kidding me."

"Nope. Worth seeing." Piper laughed and Clarisse followed her.

And suddenly, that laughter reminded the daughter of Ares of another one she hadn't heard for a long time. Such a long time that she actually started to forget how it sounds like and that mere fact was saddening her more than anything.

Clarisse knew Piper wasn't Silena. She could never be. But Clarisse knew something for sure: she would have loved her new sister.

Piper stood up, stretching her arms behind her head. "What do you say we go back to this karaoke thing? I feel we're going to have to take care of more than two people tonight."

"Urgh. Do we really have to?" Clarisse moaned, her wish to kill the Stoll getting more intense every second.

It was true that if Chiron was to see all their drunk asses, they'll be punished for life.

"Well if it can motivates you, I heard before leaving that drunk Jason and drunk Percy were begging to sing Gangnam Style together."

"Okay you got me, McLean. I would never miss Prissy making a fool of himself."

[ambitionsource]

aaa demigod au... like pjo-style. im having a Moment.

ah this reminds me... RIGHT before the aaa days when it officially consumed my life, i had started working on a pjo-type au with es. it was actually inspired by this book i finished reading (that wasn’t good) about children of greek gods all at the same high school, but same gist. the general concept was that riley went to the school for senior year bc her dad got a position as the “mortal studies” professor there, and so everyone thinks she’s this non-demigod child and so does she... until she learns she’s actually a child of aphrodite and gets put into the Big Leagues with the children of zeus, poseidon, hades, athena (well, some of them) and ares, who are basically like the popular kids. they kind of unofficially rank students by parent (which is part of the problem), and kids like farkle (a lower tier athena kid bc he’s just a Nerd) and maya (an apollo kid who could technically be fringe popular, but maya Hates that attitude so she sticks to being an outsider) fall through the cracks. she also befriends school freak isadora, who is a child of two gods (hera and zeus i believe) but never uses her powers or seems to have any, and thus people just kind of write her off, and then later earns the approval and interest of hermes kid zay when riley claims she wants to learn how to be a true hero too even tho the school won’t really teach them, and he joins on to help them train.

she also formed a friendship unbeknownst to her crew with lucas james, who was partnered with her for mortal studies. the thing is though, he... seems like a really nice guy? he and riley have a great rapport and she really does like him... even though for whatever reason, it seems like her friends Hate him. he’s friends with the poseidon kids (including dylan, along with his boyfriend asher who is an athena kid but hangs out with the poseidon kids and thus is Elevated by association), always at the stables with the horses, so riley assumes he’s a poseidon kid too. that all unravels when, post a disaster at the school where a hydra attacks (bc there is a villain, of course), farkle is pissed at riley for being friends with lucas and not telling him, and that’s because lucas is actually son of ares and used to be part of the crowd that bullied farkle relentlessly in like, 9th grade. riley gets upset with lucas for lying to her (really more like omission of truth / not Correcting her belief, but still stands). more drama unfolds, the actual threat heightens, people come back together, and then the clique six have to band together to save the school (and the top tier students) from being destroyed when the big bad finally comes to light.

i actually wrote a segment of it (the hydra fight scene). good times had by all, really. also this was again right before aaa hype took over, so i dont know where charlie is GFJDLGFSD. i think he was also a son of aphrodite. who knows. could be! anyway if you want to read the snippet of it i wrote feel free to let me know and i’ll post the pdf of it for y’all to peruse. much love y’all

-- Maggie

[incorrectquotes-randomthoughts]

Part 2 of why the pjo movies shouldn’t exist, and now that they do, you should refrain from watching.

Continuation to my post before last. (Yes, I got through the rest of it, I’m surprised too, and not mentally stable)

(After Percy gets healed by the water)

If you saw my other post you know that I turned it off during the capture the flag scene, the whole movie is incredible horrible so I was wondering why that scene was even worse, so I broke it down;

Percy and Annabeth are on opposing teams.

Percy’s a better sword fighter than three people from the other team combined. (Who Luke had said to be sons of Ares)

Annabeth was the only one gaurding her flag.

Needless to say, Percy didn’t get guarding duty, like in the books.

I already mentioned Annabeth’s speach, so unlike her it’s not ok.

She’s been training for five years, but if we take her movie age, at least nine. Yet Percy is almost as good as her.

She should be using a dagger, Luke’s dagger, not a sword.

Everyone has the exact same sword, although Percy has Riptide, other than the pen feature it’s the same as everyone else’s.

Needless to mention swords are the only weapon being used.

Everyone has the exact same shield.

Annabeth and Percy are fighting and people are just watching. That’s not how capture the flag works.

^^^ No one’s trying to steal the flag, neither flag in fact, when it’s clear the blue flag (Percy’s team) is poorly guarded, if at all.

Still no Clarisse, still no electric spear.

Percy beats Annabeth in combat.

Percy just raises the flag and suddenly they won.

There was no claiming. Spoiler alert: In the whole movie.

And now, to my normal form of complaining opinion experessing.

Where are the tables?

Or the magic food??

Or the burnt offerings???

Percy’s supposed to feel alone seating at the Poseidon table.

Nymphs are suddenly horny teenage girls that throw parties I guess.

What even is supposed to be her place? They live in trees.

Grover’s suddenly also a horny teenager. You already threw away his personality a little more won’t matter I suppose.

Percy is not happy about being a hero.

Annabeth is smart enough to know that. She doesn’t think he’s all ‘victorious and got the fame up his head’

WHY WOULD HADES WANT THE LIGHTING BOLT.

Also, why would he appear in flames in the middle of dinner.

Chiron’s protective instinctives don’t exist.

Good to know the Oracle is as exsistent as the Big House.

Percy Jackson would never sneak out of camp.

Grover Underwood would never agree.

Annabeth Chase would never accompany them.

Not their 12 year old selves or however old they are supposed to be.

Luke has technology.

Luke hides bolt in shield because he just happens to know that they’re sneaking out of camp today.

He also happens to have a pair of flying shoes from his dad who he has never met.

And a magic, super convenient map. Also from his dad.

Luke Castellan is smart enough to not mention that he hates his dad in front of them. Specially Annabeth, who he knows how smart she is.

They stumble upon Aunt Em’s in plain daylight, because the map says they have to.

Oh yeah, forgot to tell you, Percy never destroyed national monuments, which never led to him getting magic pearls.

They also never go to the water park.

They never meet Ares, or Aphrodite.

We never learn about Annabeth’s phobia of spiders.

Their actual quest is getting the pearls that will get them out of the underworld, because Luke oh-so-conveniently knew exactly that they would do that.

Not Grover who fought so much to get Annabeth, Luke, and Thalia to camp. Not Annabeth, who survived on the streets when she was seven. Not even a first-quest Percy would suggest to split up. Much less agree.

Percy has a phone.

Medusa doesn’t try to trick them or anything she just straight up goes, I’mma turn ya to stone.

Apparently the temptation to look Medusa in the eyes is too much so this random woman does and turns to stone.

Medusa’s horny af.

I would make a comment on the fact that’s it’s for Annabeth, but like, other than the not-really-actually-exsisting age gap.... they’re Greek.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna seduce this girl into opening her eyes”

Percy decapitates Medusa with pretty much no problem.

Grover can drive.

Grover found a truck, with vines all over it, found the key, and knew how to drive not to mention the car actually worked.

Percy can drive.

Magic seat changing between one scene and the other.

They can afford a hotel.

They can also check in the hotel without being questioned.

They keep Medusa’s head in a sink, in the bathroom. They also got ice for it.

They keep their curtains open.

More Percy just seating underwater doing nothing.

Percy can now heal other with water.

Apparently the gods are forbidden to communicate with their kids.

Producer: Sir, here it says that Annebth likes architecture. We should mention that. Director: Have her go ‘woah’ when she sees a monument. Producer: You’re a genius.

Annabeth sneaks into the boys bathroom in the middle of the day and no one notices.

No one checks, or cleans the bathrooms at the end of the day.

Annabeth has a computer which she uses to video chat Luke.

Luke’s flying shoe gift work perfectly. And even though he said it might take “a little practice” Percy can almost master them.

Hydras can look like/poses people.

Percy. Pays. Attention. To. Chiron’s. Class.

Perseus Jackson knows that you can’t cut a Hydra’s head.

Movie Percy Jackson single handedly cuts all seven Hydra heads before they can regenerate.

Good thing only nine grew back.

Also convenient that Grover carries Medusa’s head around.

Medusa can also turn monsters to stone??? I’m not sure if that one’s canon or not.

Magic map says Lotus hotel because magic pearl ends up here.

The Lotua hotel is NOT suppose to look like... that.

Annabeth wouldn’t take food from such a sketchy place.

Grover would detect that there’s something wrong with the food at least.

That’s is not how the magic of the Lotus casino works.

Friendly reminder that Grover has no personality or emotions other than horny.

And there goes Poseidon speaking in Percy’s mind again.

There’s people chasing after Percy who we never actually learn who they are??

Percy, back to his senses, doesn’t find anything weird about this guy knowing his last name.

Car that was on display is completely functional with no protection for people to steal, and the keys are right there.

Somehow rushing out Percy grabbed the pearl that was oh-so-conveniently next to him when he got back to his senses.

Magic seat changing between one scene and the other part 2.

Part 3.

We never know where they parked the car, as far as we know it’s in the middle of a mountain.

There’s Ancient Greek written in the H of the Hollywood sing and if you read the translation aloud you get a passage to the underworld. How convenient.

Friendly remainder that Grover has no personally part... how many times has he said something again?

The entrance to the underworld is a farse.

The under is a farse.

How is that supposed to be the River Styx? How are you supposed to jump in that?

Producer: Sir, we gotta cgi a three-headed dog. Director: Too much effort, make it three big hellhounds. Producer: Your wit never fails to amaze me sir.

Persephone isn’t suppose to be down here, it’s summer.

Persephone is also horny... for Grover, because he’s a satyr.

Gotta agree with you there Grover, Hades looks like a lesser version of Mick Jagger.

The electric guitar. Seriously? You too?

Hades’ as much of an ass he is in this movie is smart enough to not just... give Percy Sally without the bolt.

Which brings me back... why would Hades ever want the bolt? You know the amount of paperwork a war would cause?

Oh look, there’s Annabeth’s dagger.

I understand that many have different points of view as to how the Hades-Persephone relationship should work but Uncle Rick wrote it so it was a happy relationship so please stop with your “he’s abusive and I look forward to getting out of here” BS you’re not even suppose to be here in the first place, it’s summer.

Grover and Persephone are horny for each other, and since they only have three pearls Grover does the ‘sacrifice’ to stay down here.

Sally, Annabeth, and Percy picture the exact same place with no communication what so ever. Not even glances or nods, nothing.

From here...

Luke has another pair of flying shoes, he goes to the Empire State Building flying.

Luke would never admit in front of Annabeth what he wants, he loves her so much. Even back then, just as a sister.

That’s not even what Luke wants.

Annabeth’s dagger is gone again, replaced by a sword.

Percy happens to have the flying shoes with him.

Percy and Luke have the same amount of sword fighting skill.

Luke takes the bolt from Percy and flies away enough for Percy to have to chase him but not enough to, idk, get out of there.

Percy does not suspect Luke -who wanted him to fail on this quest- would have done anything to the shoes.

The shoes that the first time Percy wore took him time, he can wear perfectly now with no effort what so ever. This kid is a master of the skies.

^ Which he shouldn’t be because Zeus pretty much hates him right now.

Percy uses his powers for the first time in the whole movie (not even unintentionally before) and can control them better than he could in, I dunno, the third or fourth book.

Luke throws his sword to cut to the wings in Percy’s shoes. Not really convenient his like, a foot from the roof of a building.

Luke loses his flying shoes and Percy can take them because they happen to be right next to him.

Percy flies back.

What do you mean there’s no elevator music?

Or grouchy guard?

Mount Olympus looks good, ngl.

...to here has only been nine minutes

The gods at this moment are only supposed to be 12ft tall not... 60

Everyone believes everything, it was Luke’s fault, I did nothing, save my friend the satyr

Poseidon left Percy when he was seven months old apparently. Not before he was born.

Poseidon be like “let me talk to my kid just this once” like you haven’t through out the whole movie.

Sally talks about camp half-blood like Percy’s gonna live there the rest of his life.

Gabe wasn’t petrified.

Percy didn’t send the head to Olympus.

Chiron is encouraging Percy to sneak out again wth.

Annabeth teases Percy. Yeah, I meant sexually.

Anyways, I survived, but I wanted to sum up + add some things, for both posts...

Grover’s a horny teenager with no personality.

Nymphs have ‘places’ where they can throw parties.

The movies target a completely different audience than the books.

There’s a lot of filmimg errors.

The only time Annabeth’s dagger showed up it wasn’t used.

Annabeth fights with her hair down.

Abso-fucking-lutley no one looks like they’re suppose to. NO ONE

Luke doesn’t have his scar.

Annabeth-Chiron relationship is nonexistent.

Annabeth-Luke relationship is nonexistent.

Thalia’s tree never appears.

Nothing about Annabeth’s or Luke’s backstory is ever mentioned.

Nymphs are horny teenagers.

Gabe is a completely different person. (Still an ass but, not properly.)

Persephone is horny.

Medusa’s horny.

Every female in the lotus hotel is horny.

There’s more but honestly I die a little more every time I write something.

Let this be a guide to what not to do in the new adaptation.

And again, let this not be the only visual content we get and let’s pray, please, Disney, adapt Percy Jackson.

[imliterallypercyjackson]

A Snippet

To all nine of you that follow me, I just wanted to say thanks. To anyone else who sees this, I figured I might put this out there as a feeler so y’all can see my writing, if you want. This is the first chapter from a story I’m writing about the son of Lugh the Long-handed, the Celtic god of light, who is also a reincarnation of his son CuChullain, growing up in modern America and has to deal with mythical bullshit alla PJO/HOO but, like, adultier and angstier. So. Yeah.

Also, an important note. Please feel free to reblog if you want, comment, I don’t care, but THIS IS NOT A WRITING PROMPT and it would really hurt my feelings if one of y’all took my idea and used it and wrote a book off of my chapter or something and I’d probably cry and scream and break something and feel pretty stabby and I don’t like feeling stabby so please please please please please don’t do that kay thanks.

Chapter 1

I'm not here to tell you that your problems aren't valid, because everyone has issues. But, seriously, if you heard what was going on in my life, you'd agree: other issues seem easy. Because, you see, as hard as going through a layoff and a divorce and your dog dying are, you still probably don't have to deal with almost getting your head blown off on the regular, do you, George? No? Didn't think so.

It's kind of a long story, and parts of it will probably sound familiar. But for you to really understand what's going on, I'll have to start at the beginning. It was my senior year of high school. Yeah, already a bad start, I know.

I was on my way out of the building at the end of the school day. Normally, at the end of the day, I would meet up with my best friend and we'd drive home to pretend we were gonna do our homework and really just play video games.

So I walked out of the building and found Asim waiting by the car.

Asim Bahadur Qarim is one of the greatest men who ever lived and that's a fact. His parents came to America when he was young, so young he doesn't remember his home in Iran. But they ran from all of the political turmoil that befell basically the entire Middle East, and they already had friends and family in America. Luckily, Mr. Qarim made friends with some soldiers that were taking some time off from their deployment. One of them, who came to be known to us as Uncle Miles, put them up in his place until they could find work and a house.

Now, Asim was about to graduate high school and had been accepted into Julliard in the fall for his acting talents. He, in part, wanted to do what he loved and make his parents proud, but he also wanted to be a famous Muslim actor, something he didn't see a whole lot of.

Asim was a handsome guy, or so the girls we went to school with kept reminding us. He had coal black hair that fell in wavy locks about his head. He kept it long enough to fall to his neck but not enough to hit his collar if he was wearing a collared shirt. His eyes were like black coffee, and his skin more like a mocha. His frame was strong but thin, as his exercise included mostly running and hiking. He had thick stubble on his face, thicker on his lip and chin. He was leaning against the hood of my car, one of his black loafers up on the body, with his thick jacket on and a pair of black jeans, a scarf around his neck and a beanie on his head. He was smoking a cigarette, putting it out and putting it back in his pack when he saw me.

“Really, man?” I said walking up. “Right before we get in the car?”

“Roll the windows down,” he said with a shrug.

“It’s January you turd.”

We got into the car, a dumpy little station wagon that was pretty much all that my parents could afford. But it didn’t matter. It had four wheels and an engine, so I was happy. In addition, the heater worked, which was especially good since I would have to sit in the car with Smokey Bear.

“I’m so excited to go skiing this weekend!” Asim said.

“Me too!” Since my parents didn’t have a whole lot of money, they spent all year every year saving up so that we could go on a big trip for Christmas. This year, they were taking Asim and me to a ski resort out in the mountains. I had been looking forward to the trip since September. “You packed, right?”

“Yeah, if we can just swing by my place really quick.”

I nodded and started heading for Asim’s house. It was a short drive, and we were there in no time. He ran into the house and was back out in a few minutes. Neither of his parents were home yet, but they would be meeting us at the resort later. My parents didn’t pay for them, but of course they invited the Qarim family, who graciously accepted. They were even bringing Uncle Miles.

We went back to my house, a tiny little townhouse in the suburbs just a couple miles from school. I ran inside and to the second floor to grab my bag from my room. I started heading back downstairs and looked at the walls that were covered with pictures of the three of us. I stepped out into the living room to see our sparsely-furnished but well-loved home, covered in even more pictures, month old newspapers my dad hadn’t gotten rid of, and old files from projects my mom finished and never cleaned up. It felt like home.

I sighed and stepped back outside. The air was colder than I remembered, so I drew my scarf up further around my neck and walked back to the car. I got in and was glad to be in the heat again. I rolled up the windows, the smell of cigarettes now gone from the cabin of the vehicle.

So we made our way to the highway and off to the mountains. It was a while before either of us spoke, but neither of us needed to. We were both comfortable enough with each other that we could sit in silence for hours.

Inevitably, one of us broke the silence. “Did you pick a school yet?” Asim asked. This had been a topic of hot debate for quite some time. I wanted to go to college, but I had no idea what to study. I had no idea what school to go to. I was kinda falling off the back of the wagon.

“No, I haven’t,” I said.

“Gotta get on that if you want to go to college.”

“Well, there’s community college.”

“You wanna be a community college guy?”

I gave him a glare quickly, then looked back at the road. “What’s wrong with community college?”

Asim suddenly got an uncomfortable look on his face. “That’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean, then?”

Asim was suddenly confused, and looking flustered. His cheeks flushed and he lowered himself in his seat. “I’m suddenly feeling very attacked.”

I chuckled. “Asim, I’m fucking with you. I know what you mean, but I don’t care. Fuck the stigma associated with community college. I’ll be getting an education for a fraction of the cost of something like Juilliard.”

Asim relaxed a little, some of the color leaving his cheeks. “Dude, don’t do that to me.”

“Well, I’m not some super star, so it isn’t like I can get into Juilliard. I’m not an athlete, so I can’t get into a D1 school. I’m no super computer that could make Stanford, or an engineering prodigy to go to MIT, or a social demigod to get into Harvard. I’m just… me.”

“You know as well as I do that you could have done any one of those things if you actually wanted to.”

Asim was right, of course. My biggest issue was that I never applied myself. My grades were always rather lackluster. I got good enough grades that my parents wouldn’t be on my back about it all the time, but not good enough to warrant any awards or scholarships. I was in fantastic shape and could have easily been a star football player, or track star, or a wrestler, baseball player, whatever I wanted. I was capable of doing it all, but I didn’t care enough to try. I never wanted to be on a stage, either, unlike Asim. I could sing, dance, act, I even dabbled in poetry from time to time, but I had no desire to share that with anyone.

“That’s not the point,” I said quietly.

“Then what is, Seth?”

“Maybe I don’t want to be in the spotlight. Maybe I just want to be a background character, like a librarian or something.”

“So what will you do then? Do you want to be a librarian?”

“Well… no… but you’re missing the point. Not every job needs a bachelor’s degree.”

“Then find one, and get passionate about it. I haven’t seen you passionate about anything in a long time, man. I’m starting to get worried.”

“That’s not true!”

“Oh, really? Name one thing.”

“I was really passionate about supporting you in The Sound of Music a couple months ago.”

“That doesn’t count, Seth! I mean your own stuff. The last time you were passionate about anything you did yourself was a long time ago! Ever since Becca—”

He winced, froze, and calmed down. He slunk down in his seat again, trying to make himself look smaller, almost like he wanted to hide from me.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine,” I said. “It’s been a year since she… well, yeah. I should be getting better by now.”

“It’s completely understandable, Seth. When Becca…”

“Died, Asim. She died. There’s no sense in hiding it, or denying it. She died.”

“Alright, when Becca… died… it was devastating. I mean, I lost my best friend. I can only imagine what it was like for you.”

I let out a deep sigh.

“Becca was everything to me, Asim. She was more than just my best friend, and my girlfriend. She was my muse. I wrote poetry because she inspired it. I sang because she made my heart sing. I danced because she made it hard for me to sit still. I worked out and got better grades because she inspired me to be better, and to make something of myself one day. When she died, she took it all with her. My love, my heart, my passion. It all faded.”

Asim put a hand on my shoulder. It wasn’t a lot, but I knew the intent behind it. I took one hand from the wheel so that I could cover his, holding tight for a second before letting go.

“Eventually you’ll have to do something, Seth. You’ll have to make some kind of decision, pick a path.”

“Eventually I will. But for now, I’ll survive.”

We sat in silence for a little while longer before I spoke again.

“For the record, I wanted to teach.”

Asim nodded. “That’s a noble pursuit there, Seth. For someone who says he doesn’t care, you sure seem to.”

“I always thought that the best teachers were the worst students,” I said.

“How does that make any sense?”

“Well, think about it this way. The teacher who was a bad student, who messed around with drugs and got in trouble, maybe got a girl pregnant or wrecked his dad’s car, that teacher understands the hardest parts of being a teenager because he succumbed to them. So, I didn’t necessarily do all of those things, but I have not been a great student and I would understand a kid who doesn’t like to do their school work. Maybe I could help them.”

Asim shrugged. “Maybe you’re right. I never thought about it that way.”

“Everyone has their own beasts to slay.”

We concluded our ride in silence. It was only another hour to the resort, so we arrived and found the house, going by the rental office to pick up the keys. Good thing my parents thought to put my name on the rental so I could sign for them.

We got up to the house, a nice little place up in the mountains. It was big enough for the six of us to fit comfortably, but not too big that we felt spaced out.

The first room we walked into was a kitchen, which opened out into a living and dining room beyond. None of the rooms had real walls separating them, just an island separating the kitchen from the living room. There was a staircase off in the back right corner of the living room that seemed to head down into a basement. Based on the placement of the house on the side of a hill, I figured that it would open out to the hill side.

We walked in and headed down the stairs. There was another open area with a television and a DVD player. There were a few doors off of the open room, indicating that they were the bedrooms. Two had queen beds, one had two twin beds, and one had a bunk bed and a twin bed. Asim and I moved our bags into the room with the bunk bed and set them down.

“Alright, now what?” Asim asked.

I shrugged. “We go shopping.”

I grabbed some paper out of a drawer and a pen and wrote a quick note:

Mom, dad,

Went out for groceries. Key under mat. See you soon.

Love,

Seth and Asim

Then Asim and I went on a very routine shopping trip. That was about the last part of our trip that was “routine” in any way.

[pharaohkiller]

Eurovision 2017 - i know i'm late to the party

Israel: They took the “Breaking me to pieces” line literally when preparing a background, love it. He’s so charming and radiates an energy that suits the stage. But, not a fan of the song, as there are a lot of songs that go along the beat of the song. Sorry hon, 4/12

Poland: She reminds me of Ellie Goulding, and the piano in the background sounds very similar to Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack and another film that I cannot remember at the moment. She has a pleasant voice which she hit amazing high notes. Still can’t get over the fact that it sounds like it was ripped off of many movie soundtracks. Sorry love, 5/10 (one extra point for having dogs in the trailer-y thingy, dogs are always an extra point.)

Belarus: They. Are. So. Cute. The guitar that is covered with lace has me dead, I have war flashbacks to my grandmother’s house where every surface has these stuff. These two have amazing energy that reflects on the audience and now I just want to kick some ass with my significant other with this song in the background for some reason? Like it’s not a song for kicking ass and I don’t have a significant other but that is so not the point lol. This song is just pure, I love it and you can bet your ass I so am downloading it. (The kiss at the end thoughh, I ship it.) 7/12

Austria: He is soo charming and those sneakers are dope af, is he roleplaying as Hermes ‘cause I can see myself casting him in my PJO fanfics if I ever get around writing one lol. Oh and, the kid from the Dreamworks logo is all grown up now, feel old yet? The clouds in the back are so aesthetically pleasing. The song itself is a whole another thing. The “I’ll swim like a champion” line seems off, as if they couldn’t find a better fitting synonym or word in its place, overall the song is repeating itself a lot. His cute face that is smiling throughout the song is definitely a plus, and he does have a pleasant voice, but a girl’s gotta get her Judge Judy on. My verdict on the song, therefore, iiiis *drum roll* 4/12

Armenia: I love it. For some reason, I truly am enjoying this performance. The only thing that is bothering me is the constant camera cuts like dudes why?? The lyrics are kinda meh but the dancers were good too. But, will I download it? Nope, sorry queen. 5.5/12

The Netherlands: The harmonizing, the outfits are all fan-freaking-tastic. Literal queens. The song though, is not my piece of cake and the lyrics are not eritten by a genius as it seems like the writer(s) was given the prompt ‘cry no more, turn the page and start again’ and literally revolves around the line, and I quote “Never cry no more”. Sorry babes, 2.5/12

Moldova: I’m a sucker for saxophones. They have a plus one, it’s for the saxophone. Did I mention I love saxophones? Especially in Eurovision songs (tbt the Epic Sax Guy). I love everything about this performance, the background, the dancing, the flower microphones, the sax solo, the dress transformation, the violin - this is my jam for the rest of my life. Play it at my funeral and I’ll rise from the dead to do the leg thing. I don’t even care about the repetition of lyrics or anything. The hype is real y'all, the hype is real. 9/12

Hungary: Let me address the hair and the outfit and then I’ll go on. HE HAS A MAN BUN. HIS OUTFIT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS OUT OF WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE ALBUM AND MV, he is a small bean and needs to be protected. I don’t understand the lyrics but that minor detail doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy this masterpiece. This 👏is👏a👏master👏piece👏 . The violin, the dancer, the RAP PART (that is 100% better than anything Jake Paul ‘rapped’), the instrument that I don’t recognise, the choreography, his voice.. literally everything. 11/12

Italy: Before the performance, the fucking opening credits. It’s a fucking masterpiece. Has anyone talked about it yet? If y'all didn’t I’m judging you. And that suit, the rainbow side thingy. The rainBOW like, damn I love it. FUCKING HARAMBE. AND THE WIGGLES, FOR FUCK’S SAKE, the whole song is a meme. Again, language is a problem pour moi, however, I really like it. We really should talk about the fucking Harambe and Wiggles thing. I just can’t. The “Omm” ending thiough, thanks a lot dude. Much meme, such voice. 8/12

Denmark: Okay first of all, the queenest queen of them all in this year’s Eurovision. The dress, the voice, her vocal range, those high notes, the song, that adorable face. I can’t really relate to the song in a romantic way but hell yeah I’m going to play around with the meaning so that I can relate and give the queen her rating. I have it on my phone as I’m typing this. I love this, I love her. 11/12 - biased (kind of) - / unbiased; 9.5/12

Portugal: Let me address this, he looks really uncomfortable and anxious to be in such a position where he is the centre of attention. I saw a lot of hate directed towards him with people saying that he looks like a rat, has no stage appeal and that kind of stuff. From where I’m looking, he looks like the kind of introvert who prefers to stay within their comfort zone but are passionate about arts that require a lot of human interaction as well as clashing with their own personal limits. Here, it’s singing. You can physically see on his face how relaxed he becomes as the first notes to the song his sister wrote are released into the crowded stadium, he gets relaxed as the time goes on. Compared to his state before getting up to the stage where he was stiff and looked like he wanted to crawl up to a corner and hide, he looks so in peace as he releases his soothing voice into the dark night. I kinda refuse to look at the translation of the words as I fear the magic will dissappear but that is on me. It sounds like it belongs to a rom-com with Ryan Gosling as the lead male or a Disney movie, and, as I said the same for Denmark, I have the song on my phone and it is such a delight to listen to. I am unable to describe how this song affects me, my words come out in lame sentences, not magnificent enough to match the magnificence of the song. And, apart from saxaphones, I’m a sucker for greenery in general so the background pleases my eyes. Moreover, those assholes on Youtube complaining on how he shouldn’t have won the competition and it’s all for political reasons, shut your whiny asses that listen to lyrically poor songs in the trend list on Spotify, and drop your popular wannabe persona and just listen to this masterpiece. A genuine 12/12 from the deepest corners of my heart.

Azerbaijan: That fucking horse thing, fuck that mask. (My Starkid fangirl can’t help this so bear with me) “Oh I feel ready, at my skeletons. Have my lungs, my millions” has me imagining Umbridge singing this song in the Forbidden Forest before the, how do I phrase this, ‘thing’ with Firenze and the overall centaurs, and boy do I want to close the tab and question my imagination right now. Anyways, those ‘bad boy’s are going to be the end of me, all I can think of is the stupid Wattpad stories. Overall the song has an interesting vibe to it, to say the least. However, not my jam for this summer gals, pals and non-binary friends. 5/10

Croatia: My man, my friend. He is a cute cinnamon roll that needs to be protected. The going up the stairs bit in the opening credits is me. This whole performance is a huge meme itself, what is it with Eurovision and memes this year, I feel like the only missing thing from this whole event is ‘cash me ousside’ and Pepe the Frog. Bet someone cracked open a cold one with the boys in the back lol. Anyways back to this precious human being, his voice has me shook. His vocal range is amazing, reminds me of Brendon Urie somewhy. The way he says miracle makes me think of a certain Ryan Higa video and I just need a moment. Also, “There are only two ways to live your life” makes me think of Britney Spears, I think I’m the living meme machine at this point. Imagine you otp performing this, I’m wheezing. The background is ground breaking. I really cannot function properly at this point, it’s 3:18 a.m. and watching this masterpiece. Can we talk about that iconic ‘Yes!’? 8/12

Australia: First of all, the jokes were made last year but I have to do it again, why the fuck is Australia performing in Eurovision? Next up we will have BTS performing for Southern Korea and Baby Metal from wherever they’re from. In the end I feel like this whole event will turn into a party where America is the only one invited. He looks like the model everyone obsesses over in Pinterest. Can we have a minute to obsess over his voice please? It’s like honey, or fine wine. The background is meme worthy, but good lol. 7/12 and would definitely listen to it again sometime.

Greece: She reminds me of Alexandra Daddario mixed with a Greek Goddess. She’s probably the only person that can pull that dress off. The song feels like David Guetta, Calvin Harris or Martin Garrix had a chance to play with it before it was distributed to public. 6/10

Spain: A group made up of boys that are nice to look at, who wouldn’t give them 12/12 right? That evil heartless witch is me. The fact that the boys are cute does not erase the huge high note failure. I cannot get over it, I can’t look past it. Everytime I look at the boy, I can’t help myself and I get into hysterical laughter. It’s a precious moment, and I will laugh at it ‘till the day I die. Sorry boys, 3/12 for the overall song, infinity out of 12 for that failure.

Norway: What the fuck is that mask. What is the thing with weird shit and Eurovision. And please someone explain me what the fuck are those effects and jump cuts. His voice is lovely, and I like the song. Will probably download the song whenever I remember lol. That microphone stand gives me lifee along with the purple aesthetic. 7/12

United Kingdom: Can we take a moment to appreciate her. She is so pure with her voice and her looks. I also must point out that one of the three lyricists (is that a word? i dont know) is *the* Emmelie de Forest. Another fucking queen of Eurovision for those who are unaware. By the way, “I will never give up on you.” is such a line, my gal, let me introduce you to Brexit, oh and, “Together we’ll dance through this storm.” I bet that storm is Theresa May lol. Nice song, nice facial expressions, nice background effects - simple but effective. 8/12

Cyprus: [minus the trnc but whatevs] The song starts and all I can think of is Rag'n'Bone Man’s Human mixed with a pinch of Blues Saraceno’s River. It’s bugging me a lot ‘cause I feel like there’s another song I can’t name. The high note was good but overall it’s a meh from me. I will not give any rating to it, I hate when Eurovision contestants rip off actual songs.

Romania: One word, memetastic. I love this and everything it offers to the audience. It also reminds me of Barclay from Stereo Kicks. Man, the yodels get me everytime, I love this clash of cultures as well as that weird kiss in the end lmao. 6/12

Germany: Right off the bat, Titanium by David Guetta and Sia. The singer is cute and has a nice voice but just like I did to Cyprus, I’m not going to rate it.

Ukraine: Again, Eurovision with weird shit. What is that hat, someone explain it to me. I fucking love the song though, it’s my piece of cake. Can we talk about the band please? They need love and are underrated in my opinion.

Belgium: I can’t name the song, but this is another rip-off. Shame really, her voice is lovely as well as herself.

Sweden: Just meme it, you know you want to. He reminds me of Felix (Pewdiepie if you wereliving under a rock for a while) for some reason? The song feels as if it was written for Robin Thicke originally. The dancers are the ones that are frickin’ beautiful. We are blessed with their presence. 4/12

Bulgaria: If I’m not remembering wrong he is one year older than me; he is performing in Eurovision as a finalist and I’m writing about him at 4:32 in the morning like can I have my break-out as an actress yet? No? Okay. Anyways, let me make this clear, I’m a teenage girl and he is attractive, plus has a mind-blowing voice, thus, I may have created a bias of some sort. Do I look like a heartless bitch that will deduct points from this amazing human being just 'cause I can’t relate to the lyrics? Not when this otherworldly person is the source of conflict at hand. I can’t wait for him to drop an album, I need more of his voice. Two songs aren’t enough, I want more, I need more. That little “Thank you.” at the end, I’m indeed fangirling. 12/12

France: I’m not as good as I was two years ago regarding the French language and it makes me sad. She is adorable and her voice is also very nice to listen to.