#and relationship upkeep

[misspermitted]

Oh to move to Iceland, live on the border of a small town near the mountains, and be an enigma. I appear in town to get my groceries, I sit in the local cafe and listen to the conversation. I mutter to myself and the birds that follow me. I’ll say thank you to people and greetings, nothing more. No communication. No constant socialisation. No relationship upkeep.

I think I’d have a pen pal. It’s still intimate but not this incessant talk. I write my little stories. Every month or two I dust out my earplugs, travel out to the closest post office, and pick up the materials for my newest craft project. My small cabin is warm and cluttered, I probably have a cat.

Oh to be quiet. To be alone. I still do my human need socialising but, quietly. In letters. Listening to strangers. Talking to birds. Writing stories.

Maybe sometimes when I need some exposure I travel into Reykjavik and attend a festival or tour. Maybe I pick up a course or a hobby group. But the key is that: I choose. I can choose when I need that. I’m not forced into all of this noise and lights and communication and relationships with seemingly no other choices. I choose: I have the social and economic mobility to choose.

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

[oroniel]

This little exchange from Ep. 2.02 is giving me pause -

Cirdan: Do you not wish to live in beauty?

Elrond: What is beauty if it is born in part from evil?

Cirdan: No less beautiful.

Elrond: Not to me.

The way that this could be interpreted to hint at some of the (supposedly) wilder fan theories! It would be incredibly ironic if Elrond had to eat his words when he falls in love with a half-Maia Celebrian.

Or maybe it's just a veiled real-world commentary on learning to be okay with beautiful art produced by problematic artists. Who can say.

[bitchfitch]

I have the general rule that I just, don't let myself give a shit about other people's dumbass opinions but I have one pet peeve that I just. Can Not let go of. and it's posts that go

How to write [Minority Group]!

Step 1: Make sure all your characters are exactly like me the op, or are exactly what I like to see in media.

Aside: Anything else is impossible, unrealistic, bigoted and you'll go to hell forever.

Step 2: They also have to use the exact language I do to describe themselves btw, no matter the time period or setting. See the above aside for further explanation.

Step 3: you should never ever even think about the actual mechanics of what makes a trope problematic in its impact in the real world. J ust memorize this list of things that should be banned in all fiction (for being problematic because I don't like them/someone else I agree with said they should be banned)

Step 4: Nuances in identity don't exist <3

[hal-o-ween]

I love Monster Hunter enough to get a ps5 for it. Through this one game alone I anticipate getting at least 1000hrs of use out of that console, so truthfully there are worse investments.

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

the autistic urge to break my phone, stop talking to everyone I know, and dissapear into the woods never to be seen again

[chialattea]

sometimes I forget people hate Vivienne because as much as I/my canon Inky disagreed with her,, she’s (laugh if you want) so much like my own fucking mother I’m like of course I like her, no I can’t stand her sometimes, no they’re not mutually exclusive

[suffercerebral]

it's okay if you have 0 rizz, you can pull a bad bitch by being autistic

[iwant2behappy2]

I'm just in a bad mood today because I talked to my mom on the phone

[corpus-incorporated]

the stupidest thing about emotional neglect as trauma is that certain psychological needs become so deprived in such a fundamental way that in maslow’s hierarchy of needs it’s not food or drink that constitute the base, but whatever emotional need you are being withheld. you will deprive yourself of every other need that should come before it just for the pursuit of something that to most people is just not that important. it’s ridiculous.

[olli-online]

at least noone hates me as much as i. do

[izzy-b-hands]

This was supposed to be a short, cheap, easy fill for 'nightclub', in which Jack is established as 'that friend' who always has a wild new business idea and relies on friends who love him to help provide seed money for each venture (and to keep him aloft in the in between when unfortunately for him it all inevitably falls apart. Bc he's a good ideas guy, but not always a good executioner or maintainer of his ideas guy)

Now it's almost 3k words and includes: (spoilers for today's au-gust fill below the cut)

-Jack stealing Izzy's classic car (I only kind of mention what kind, but in my head it's for sure a late 60s or early 70s model Alfa Romeo Spider or Spider Veloce) and it being established that this isn't the first time Jack has stolen Izzy's car for funds for a new idea (because Izzy might find him frustrating, but Jack is a friend of Ed's and so Izzy does his best to try and help Jack too)

-the fact that Izzy isn't rich enough to be able to afford this hobby easily; he's been grinding and working and saving up for it (an even bigger expense bc the implication is for this story everyone is currently living in the States, so he had to win an auction and then pay to import it over from Europe AND then pay for the repairs and restoration, whether done by himself and Roach or hired mechanics)

-the property Jack wants to use for the nightclub being in fucking Medora, ND, because I've been thinking about ND again and couldn't think of a worse place to try and set up a nightclub.

-it's also implied to be nearly winterish weather for the East Coast where Ed, Stede, Roach, Izzy (and usually Jack lmao) are, and definitely bad winter weather for the Midwest/ND (bc in the years prior to my moving to CT, I remember talking abt and showing blizzard pics the same months that folks out this way were cold for sure and maybe starting to get frosty, but not always to the degree of what ND would be getting hit with lmao.)

-Jack is driving the stolen car there. An Alfa Romeo Spider. In the winter. It would be funny if it wasn't just plain dangerous, but that's where his buyer is, you see.

-they've finally made contact with him only for Jack to immediately be manipulative about coming back/the police being involved, and him refusing to turn around. But he acknowledges the good hard work and money Izzy and Roach have put into the car, and promises that they'll get half the payment for the car back from him.

-The rest of it is his seed money to start the club. Cuz he'll already be out in ND at that point, so he can keep going on with his plan easily enough. Two birds one stone, all that jazz

[meanbossart]

ik orin has her crazy braid and u mentioned her cutting drow's hair before so did she like...do his hair regularly or like Ever after the first chop? like what is his relationship to his Hair/maintenance in general? it kind of just looks like he lets it hang but he cares enough to not buzz it all off or let it get frizzy

Behold, the drow hair upkeep timeline:

She only cut it that one time and it was out of necessity, from there on the only person who touched it would have been Sceleritas for a very basic cut to keep it's length. The inch or two he gained while being held hostage by Kressa and her bone-gang is an addition he maintains in the post-game for a good while!

He's more of a man of habit than anything else, so he just hasn't been compelled to change his hair up for any reason yet. And, while not super concerned with beauty, he IS subject to the very ground-roots concept of "long hair elf hot", hence, while he doesn't strive to grow it out past this point, he wouldn't want to just chop it off for no reason as he thinks it suits him this way.

More importantly, he likes having it played with.

[plutonianeris]

Asteroid Narcissus and Celebrity examples (37117) 📸

Narcissus in the 1st House or Aries: Enigmatic allure, hypnotic eyes, an aura that draws people in, pride in appearance, head held high. Obsessed with self-image, reflecting confidence yet potentially masking inner insecurities. Constantly rechecking mirrors, enjoying attention, projecting a carefully crafted persona.

Narcissus in the 2nd House or Taurus: Attracted to luxury and fine aesthetics, designer clothes, and the latest fashion trends. Money spent on beauty treatments, feeling validated by possessions. Self-worth deeply tied to material symbols of success; valuing physical attractiveness as an asset. Desire for financial security often merges with indulgent spending habits.

Narcissus in the 3rd House or Gemini: Smooth talker, articulate with a hint of self-absorption. Seeks admiration in conversations, interested in how others perceive their intellect and charm. Known for flattering speech or poetic expressions, often captivating listeners. Easily lost in the allure of their own ideas and words.

Narcissus in the 4th House or Cancer: Home mirrors a sanctuary of beauty, meticulously decorated to reflect personal taste. Deep-seated need for familial admiration, sometimes idolized by family members. Can feel the need to uphold a perfect home or ideal family image, especially in public view. Nostalgia for one’s own past, with a tendency to romanticize memories.

Narcissus in the 5th House or Leo: Effervescent charm, creative expression in ways that showcase beauty and personal talent. Thrives on the adoration of audiences, captivated by the spotlight. The “star” among friends, radiant and seductive; loves playing a role that others admire. Could blur lines between true self and a perfected public persona.

Narcissus in the 6th House or Virgo: Prides themselves on physical upkeep and routines, possibly health-conscious to the extreme. Attractiveness linked to wellness habits, perhaps a bit critical of others’ habits. Enjoys receiving praise for work ethic or appearance in a work setting, often caught between personal standards and perfectionism.

Narcissus in the 7th House or Libra: Enamored by relationships that serve as mirrors, often drawn to partners who reflect or enhance their image. Tendency to idealize partners, seeking relationships that elevate self-worth. Known for a magnetic charm in relationships, but could struggle with seeing partners as individuals separate from themselves.

Narcissus in the 8th House or Scorpio: Fascinated by power dynamics in attraction, possibly drawn to taboo or mysterious allure. Can be entranced by their own depth and intensity, seeing themselves as uniquely captivating. May have transformative relationships where attraction is both magnetic and destructive, revealing hidden vulnerabilities.

Narcissus in the 9th House or Sagittarius: Pride in intellectual beauty and knowledge; finds joy in being seen as wise or culturally aware. Eager to display their ideals or philosophical outlook, often seeks to impress others through travel experiences or scholarly pursuits. Identifies with the allure of wisdom, sometimes favoring appearances over true depth.

Narcissus in the 10th House or Capricorn: Professionally polished, careful about public image, a face that stands out in a crowd. Drawn to careers that place them in the public eye, gaining admiration for achievements. Self-worth often hinges on career success and social status, with a constant drive to appear respectable and accomplished.

Narcissus in the 11th House or Aquarius: Social butterfly, alluring in friendships and social circles. Enjoys being the center of social gatherings, radiating confidence and style. Drawn to groups that elevate their self-image, sometimes seeking friendships with influential or attractive people. Believes in the value of connections and is highly conscious of their social reputation.

Narcissus in the 12th House or Pisces: Secret allure, a subtle charisma that draws others in without overt effort. Often introspective about their own charm, hiding both insecurities and dreams of greatness. May fantasize about a perfect self but hide it from the world, carrying a private connection to beauty and self-worth that is deeply personal and reflective.

Notable Celebrities and their Narcissus placement:

Kim Kardashian has Narcissus in Aquarius in the 2nd house.

Kourtney Kardashian has Narcissus in Aquarius in the 11th house.

Khloe Kardashian has Narcissus in Leo in the 7th house.

Kendall Jenner has Narcissus in Capricorn in the 9th house.

Kylie Jenner has Narcissus in Capricorn in the 1st house.

Kris Jenner has Narcissus in Sagittarius in the 3rd house.

Blake Lively Has Narcissus in Scorpio in the 3rd house.

Donald Trump has Narcissus in Taurus in the 9th house.

Ariana Grande has Narcissus in Sagittarius in the 11th house.

Taylor Swift has Narcissus in Scorpio in the 1st house.

Tyler The Creator has Narcissus in Sagittarius in the 4th house.

Demi Lovato also has Narcissus in Sagittarius in the 4th house.

Kamala Harris has Narcissus in Gemini in the 12th house.

Marilyn Monroe has Narcissus in Pisces in the 7th house.

Zendaya has Narcissus in Capricorn in the 11th house.

Justin Bieber has Narcissus in Capricorn in the 2nd house.

Selena Gomez has Narcissus in Sagittarius in the 5th house.

Drake has Narcissus in Libra in the 3rd house.

Marilyn Manson has Narcissus in Scorpio in the 3rd house.

Robert Pattinson has Narcissus in Libra in the 6th house.

Naomi Campbell has Narcissus in Scorpio in the 9th house.

Meghan Markle has Narcissus in Pisces in the 9th house.

John F Kennedy has Narcissus in Scorpio in the 2nd house.

Prince William has Narcissus in Taurus in the 4th house.

[hannieehaee]

Thinking about doting woozi awakened something in me hnnng something about a tsundere man being soft is so fucking cute like you just KNOW he'd be so awkward abt it at first but as soon as he knows that you like it and even WANT IT from him he'd be the softest man on earth

content: bf!woozi, established relationship, pure fluff, woozi is starving for affection and doesnt know how to react to it!!

wc: 610

a/n: i know this wasnt a request but i had to turn it into a little drabble bc im so obsessed with him and wanna take care of him so badly i just need to manifest that need into writing</3

masterlist

the first time you took care of jihoon was subtle. it barely went noticed by him at first, but when he realized, he couldn't help but recoil to himself. it was odd, really, to have someone care for you in subtle ways. it wasn't expected.

in reality, it had been quite simple. walking into his home studio, he almost missed it due to his organizational habits, but upon closer inspection it was obvious. you had cleaned up.

not only had you done the usual superficial upkeep that he was accustomed to doing, but you'd dusted! you'd moved every figurine, every bit of equipment, every movable object, basically, and dusted it before placing it right back where it belonged. the air smelled clean too, courtesy of your good taste in cleaning products.

the cleanliness gave him a newfound energy, especially due to knowing it had been your act.

next time he saw you, he was a bit embarrassed to thank you, but still managed a hug and a suspicious 'love you' murmured against your lips without any further explanation.

~

cleaning his home studio became a more common occurrence after a while. jihoon had at some point formally expressed his gratitude for it, but also added the lack of need for it. he felt badly having you clean for him, so he shyly stumbled his way into telling you that it was okay! he wouldn't want you to tire yourself with such a task!

this was met with a squeeze at his hip and a giggle as you let him know that you didn't mind. he was rarely at home while you worked from home, so cleaning just became a natural part of your day.

he accepted this with warmth in his stomach. it was nice that it didn't feel like a responsibility to you. you just did it because you wanted to help him. he liked being helped.

this came along with various other acts of service you'd do without question. acts which continued to make jihoon's heart flurry with a mixture of gratitude and bashfulness.

the list was quite long, once he took a minute to really think about it.

you'd drop in with lunch for him and his bandmates every so often (which was quite a feat considering the number of friends he had), you'd brush his hair any time he let it grow a little more (claiming you just had that magic touch — which, granted, you did), suddenly he'd have socks on his feet when he woke up on a cold night, would find a brand newly knitted scarf on his way out the door in the morning, his kitchen would be stocked with his favorite coffee mix. there were too many tiny details to count.

jihoon always tried to return the favor, but would always feel like he lacked. no one in this world could compare to how doting you were, he'd decided.

worst of all was the viscerally embarrassing way in which he'd react at your acts of service.

he'd always known himself to be bad at receiving love, but he had thought that being with you would teach him a thing to do. the reality was, though, that the stuttering and the blush on his cheeks would just become a staple every time you so much as removed an eyelash from his cheek.

he sometimes wondered to himself, did you realize? how affection-starved he was? how much he truly appreciated your affections despite being the worst at verbalizing this gratefulness?

but the answer was found in the kiss pressed to his cheek any time he'd stutter his way through a 'thank you, i love you.'

[consciouschunkofmoss]

additional theory