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edai-crplpnk · 2 years ago

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Part 3: Thoughts and Feelings

I happen, as you may have guessed, to have many of those regarding tops and doms. This is a disorganised list of them made by me at 3am, I apologise in advance if it is a little messy maybe.

By default assume that I am always talking about mlm dynamics here because I am way to ignorant about wlw dynamics to say something interesting (outside of: i would really love to write a fic between my service top chara and a stone butch chara because i find it really touching when queer ppl of different communities bond over their own iteration of a common identity), and straight dynamics have common points but also a lot of different stake and for now I'm gonna leave it to them to figure out, I do not have the time for this lmao.

Also I have decided to give this list some pompous title to make it look like there's a plan so:

1 - Being a top makes you human

And being a bottom does, too.

Allow me to explain.

When I started being active in fandom, I was very wary of describing characters as tops or bottoms, and of anyone who did so. (Let's put it frankly: I was a little stupid.) I bought into the idea that it was objectifying and "fetishising" (and honestly now I try to avoid that word as much as possible because I've found that 9 times out of 10 the people involved in the discussion would be unable to define what they mean by that, and so would I). That people were people, not tops and bottoms, and that reducing someone to this was bound to be dehumanising.

Dear readers: it is not.

To me, this idea comes from the same place as stuff like, "I think everyone would be bi without social norms/is actually bi/should be bi." or, "If there were no patriarchy/social norms, no one would be trans."

First of all, we don't live in a patriarchy-free society and most likely won't, while it's not a good reason not to try to get there, it's absurd to base your reflection of what life would be like in that hypothetical words to talk about how we should act in the real one.

But what is more important for me here is that this also comes voluntarily or not, along with the idea that people would not have an identity in an ideal world. And I am not fond of that. My gender, my manhood, and my masculinity are not things that are sad collateral damage from a brutal society. They are a joyful part of what makes me human. My love and attraction for men is not a restricted view of humanity. It's genuine and rich and extensive.

People have tastes and preferences and that's good, that's what makes them people. To give my characters sexual preferences and feelings about the various position they could be put in or take on during sex is not reductive, on the contrary. It's rich and it makes them diverse and distinct and it gives them an individual essence that is not that of every single other around them.

I will try to not ramble too much about my own personal life here, but I will just say that being helped to understand all of this has also done tremendous things to my ability to accept and embrace the fact that I am a gay man, because it has allowed me to view it as the joy and rich and precious individuality and shared love that it is, rather than the previous framing of it that I had of it being somehow a fault because, I'm not gonna lie to you, living in primarily queer and feminist spaces does not always make it easy to be able to think "men are neat". (And while I absolutely understand why because it is true that the violence brought by men, in general, onto women, in general, is extreme and entirely disproportionate to how it goes the other way around, the way it's framed is still an issue if it makes gay and trans men hate themselves or gives the tool to white women to threaten and get black men killed, but I digress.)

2 - Clichés are okay sometimes, actually

I will nuance this, I promise.

Sometimes, when people say that having characters that are tops or bottoms is okay, they will put an addendum like "but it's important to not equate personality and top/bottom or dom/sub, you can have any looks and personality and be a top/bottom/dom/sub". And, of course, I agree with the sentiment, fem tops are cool, shy tops are cool, dominant bottoms are cool, you get the gist. Part of saying that tops and doms should be treated as humans and embraced in their diversity has to mean that you want characters of various looks and personalities to be tops and doms!

But I have some issues with that, or rather, with how some people frame and think it albeit really agreeing with the statement in itself.

First, as per point 1, I personally think that seeing sexual preferences and dynamics as part of the characters' personalities is important and humanising. So while, yes, tops can have various personalities, of course, I think that it's important that it doesn't mean "my character's preferences are entirely unrelated to their personality".

For example, in the second series I shared earlier, some of Kankurou's personality traits are that he likes to show affection to others by doing things for them and is quite domestic (he's shown loving to cook for his siblings for example), that he tends to catch on feelings very easily, but doesn't necessarily wants to act on them in a romantic/committed way, it's more that for him love and attraction are only very mildly separated, so while he doesn't want to date all of his hook ups (or any, really), he does tend to view those encounter as also a very emotionally charge things and that while not necessarily ashamed of that, he is someone who cherishes privacy and modesty a lot, and is not necessarily comfortable with exposing himself. These things transpire in him being primarily a top, or rather in the specific ways that he is. Part of the dynamic he likes is being able to put himself at the service of his partners because he is often quite emotionally invested in them and their pleasure, and finds joy and fulfilment in being able to provide this for them, while also often finding it a more comfortable position to be in because the focus is less on him and it allows him to be more private about how he feels and make it more about what his partner want and like and feel like.

It's not that someone with this personality has to be a top, a bottom could like all of that, mix and match works with almost any combination, but his identity as a top, how he does it and why he likes it are very directly tied to his personality, and it's cool.

The second thing is that often this will come alongside a suspicion for any character that will tick too many boxes of the same archetype. It's okay that a chara is a top, and maybe it's okay if their also the masculine, or tall, or dominant, or idk what other cliché associated with tops, but if he's all of that, then he will be seen as too cliché and therefore bad and unrealistic or objectifying. While I'm sure that's the case sometimes (many times even maybe, I genuinely don't know) and I understand where this suspicion comes from, I think that it's also important to recognise that some people just do fit certain stereotypes, and are still people.

There is intrinsic issues with clichés that are actively stigmatising (like, no, i will not answer "queers are groomers" by "it's a generalisation, but it's okay that some of us are" OF COURSE) but some are most problematic in that they make blanket statement and, more importantly, I think, in that they are viewed as a negative thing.

The main issue with "gays are effeminate and always friends with girls and they like shopping and not sports", for example, is that it's just plainly not true for a number of people, and it's dehumanising in that, once again, it negates the diversity of individuality within a given identity, but also it's that the sub-text (or sometimes full on text) is "and that's bad". Yes, I have a character that is gay and effeminate and always friends with girls and who likes shopping and not sports. The big difference between me and bigots is that I appreciate those are human traits that he has because he's a person, not categories made to other him without thinking about what they mean for him, and that I think he's neat and that it's cool he has things and people he likes and preferences that mark him as an individual.

The third thing is probably less important (or is it? I don't know anymore) but it's fair to say at this point I'm not trying to keep this short anyway so I will still say it. It's that another thing that can be heard is, "It's okay if you have stereotyped characters, as long as it's not All Of Your Characters. It means that it's just that, yes, some people to happen to fit stereotypes, but that they're just some within a larger diversity." and I think that I don't agree with the idea that characters have to be people.

I love to write characters that are people, as I think this whole post is making very clear, crafting characters that have complex personalities and personal tastes and strong individualities is something that is very dear and important and joyful to me. But I have also written things with characters that are no people, and I certainly have loved works that did the same.

What I mean by "characters that are not people" is that it's also an option to write characters as symbols, ideas, forms that are meant to represent complex or more general feelings or experiences, and not contain a human individuality and logic of a past and a set of traits and experiences building their present self. This is how an astronomical amount of art functions, paintings, poetry, tales and fables, myths, a lot of theatre, and I'm sure, even if maybe less, a lot of novel-type writing too.

This isn't an issue, and it's not an issue in porn either. I will use the word this time, it's okay to fetishise characters in porn. That's quite literally what porn and fetishes are for. Representation of erotic ideas, topoi, imaginary, figures, etc. within a human character that is not written like a person, is not bad, it's a lot of what porn is. (And it's not even what I write at all, I'm not defending my church here, I just think it's very valid and cool.)

I think that what is important is to be aware of it, both as writers and readers, when this is what we write or read, and that characters are created equal in this. If you have human and complex characters in your story but suddenly there's that one chara who is a symbol of an idea or a cliché and not meant to be treated as a person, especially if it's a marginalised character, we're getting into very iffy territories.

Of course, it's important to be mindful of the fact that stereotypical figures, symbols, fetishes and the rest are always soaked in harmful social norms and we have to think about that too, but that does mean we have to burn all and every symbolic figures and characters because, again, the harmful social norms will never be fully gone of anything you'll do. Better know that than do something that you think will free you of them but will only achieve to make you stop thinking about it.

3 - Hurting people is not easy nor inconsequential

We're entering more the dom side of this than the top side now. (And once again, although I wholeheartedly believe in and love sub tops and dom bottoms, I think it's dishonest to act like topping and dimming are not to things that are linked in our imaginaries whether we want it or not and that, therefore the issues regarding the representation of both of those are interconnected and interdependent, just as are, shall I say since I'm here, the way we think about men, and the way we think about masculinity, for example.)

I think there is an assumption that, of course, being a sub (especially in a context of more "intense" kink, like pain play or, idk, fisting or whatever) is challenging and vulnerable and potentially dangerous, so it's important to make sure the sub is really wanting and ready to receive that, but that since the dom is not the one in physical danger and isn't the one who is going to receive and suffer (albeit with pleasure) through this violence (albeit consented), it will be less challenging for them.

I don't think this is entirely wrong, just as I don't think that the same type of belief being held towards tops and bottom is, because there is often more intrinsic physical risk to bottoming and/or subbing than there is to topping and/or dimming. However, I think the depth of this disparity is really overestimated.

As someone who is both verse and switch, I will tell you that I find it immensely scarier to top and dom, and I say that even as bottoming is not exactly easy either lmao. (Another day we should talk about how sides don't get enough appreciation either. Writes sides! Over a fourth of my smut fics do not have anyone top or bottom. You don't even have to do any of this!)

Hurting people, even when they want and like it, is not easy. Being the one who is made to take all the decisions is not easy. Being the one mainly responsible for checking everyone's safety (which isn't always the dom's role, but often is) is not easy.

More generally this boils down to something that is very important and way more general than anything sex or BDSM-related to me that is: being in power is not intrinsically easy or comfortable. It is exactly what it says on the tin: more power. It will often come with more resources to protect yourself, and more autonomy so you can flee a situation of violence, so in that, yes, it is a protection, but it can still be a very violent situation to be put in. (For example if you can't see where I'm heading: men tend to have more resources to protect themselves or get away from situations of abuse, but male socialisation, in itself, is not intrinsically less traumatising than female socialisation is.)

All that to say, domming can be a very vulnerable and scary and draining position to be in, and it shouldn't be overlooked simply because it is often (and not even always) less physically dangerous.

What that means too is that you need to consent to sub, and you also really, really need to consent to dom.

I've rambled about this before I'm fairly certain but I feel like while (in people who do actually care about consent which I will admit is not a given) there is a general understanding that anything violent done to someone should be thoroughly consented by said someone, the acknowledge that it should be thoroughly consented by the person who hurts is a bit slipped under the rugs sometimes.

This is something that I wrote a lot about in The Smell of the Rain, but I fundamentally think that making someone do something to you without them being fully aware of and okay with the impact it will have on you, including "negative" (quotation mark for "pain in painplay isn't negative per see but it's still pain") is abusive and a breach of consent. Letting someone do something that hurts you without telling them, when it's someone who does not want to hurt you, is a breach of consent.

This is complicated because of course, I don't want to say that anyone who has struggles upholding their boundary is a vile abuser, and that being unable to say no or stop during a sexual activity is active sexual assault. I certainly have been there many time, this shit is HARD. (And it can be hard for tops and doms too, it's to be noted.) It's something that is messy and takes time and work, but it's important. And it's not important just because you owe to yourself to be able to do that (and you do) but because you owe that do the partner who do not want to hurt you or force you, too.

I think it makes sense to think of things like that, because ina situation of abuse that is how it work, you aren't abusing someone who wants to harm you by letting them do. And because we often discuss consent in regards to base (which again, makes sense) this is what we think of. Making people who might hurt others know to not do that. (Not sure we're succeeding but-) But if you are writing about a relationship that is meant to be healthy and where characters have good intentions towards each other, then this is not the right perspective to have on consent than to think of it as "making sure that the person to whom something is done wants it" and not "making sure that both parties involved are equally aware of the meaning of this act for both, and both want to go forth with it.

Unless there is a reason why one of the two character is a likely victim and the other a likely abuser (which can happen), I don't want to frame consent between my character as "person who might be abuse and person who might be abusing need to make sure that doesn't happen" which will go on to dehumanise one of them (again, if there is not a precedent that realistically causes that, and then it will likely fall on the top/dom) but really as "two people who are all in capacity of hurting the other in various ways, trying to not do that".

Well. It is now 5am, I've been at it for 3 hours, and I'm sure there is a lot more to say but this is probably way more than enough for today lmao. I will now sleep so tomorrow can be another day full of loving tops and doms and other men loving other men. I will also not proofread this post for evident reasons, so I hope it won't happen to be a nonsensical sleep deprave mess. Bye 👋

I wish more fanfic writers were empathetic to tops and doms. I think a lack of empathy there explains a lot of the fandom discourse around the idea that it’s racist to make characters with darker skin the top or seme or whatever.

Part of why it bothers people, I think, is that in fandom spaces—for a variety of reasons—people have somehow come to a consensus that it’s fine to have submissive and degradation oriented fantasies, but not fantasies about making someone submit or doing the degrading. SOME people don’t let themselves think about the interiority of those that could actually deliver them what they want, sexually. And I don’t even just mean actual sex! I can tell when a fic author actually gets off on topping or domming. Those people are kind of rare in fandom, but their fics really stand out if you know what you’re looking for. Side note—I think there’s a lot of untapped potential in whump writers, who could probably write really wonderful nasty smut, but who are ashamed of writing something sexual and worried about backlash (so they just stick to narrative torture for now).

If you instinctively think that writing a character as a top or dom means they’re incapable of having interiority or complexity because YOU can’t write a compelling top or dom character for shit, then you might also think that any writing of people of color as tops or doms is inherently bad or offensive writing. And this is sad for everyone, but it’s especially sad for the actual tops and doms of color in the real world who have to read people saying that they don’t exist, or that characters who feel like them are offensive and racist.

Ironically, the people who claim that writing a character of color as a top or dom automatically makes that character a racist or brutish stereotype are reenforcing that stereotype. I want to see more compellingly written top and dom characters who have actual wants and conflicts. Give me more woobie, extremely emotional doms. Give me self esteem issues, or the struggles of being mistreated by subs, or feeling reduced to what they can provide sexually but not seen as a good person outside of that, please.

tldr; I wish more people knew that it’s not an insult to write a character as a top or dom, and therefore that it’s not an insult to write a character of color as a top or dom.

#writing tips #i guess?#kankuro #kiba inuzuka #shino aburame #shikamaru nara #kankiba #kankukiba #kankushika #kankushino #trans kiba inuzuka #trans kankuro

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redheadbigshoes · 2 years ago

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oh the conversation about fetishisation of sapphics... that stuff drives me up the wall. cishet women are often as guilty as cishet men. affection between women is so normalised that two women can make out with each other and people will still rationalise that they're friends. why does no one take sapphic relationships seriously? i'm not talking about aro lesbians btw, that's a completely different thing. and i don't want to say that the lines can't be blurred between romantic and platonic and sexual if that's what the people involved want. but there's still an issue of sapphic relationships being trivialised and taken less seriously just because it's two women. i'm talking about cishet women (and cishet men) who don't see romantic and sexual love between women as real or serious. they see sapphic relationships as frivolous and stupid, a costume they can put on, a porn category and nothing more. it's a joke or game to them and then when they (cishet women) engage in traditionally romantic behaviour with their friends, they find it ridiculous or offensive when someone understandably assumes they're wlw. it's so frustrating

It’s not even that affection between women is normalized (which it is compared with men), it’s more about how you can make out and even have sex with another woman and people are still going to think you’re just friends and that you’re straight.

Sapphic relationships are not taken seriously and are not seen as real in this society, because society doesn’t think a relationship is valid if there’s no man involved. That’s why when it comes to sapphics, coming out might be harder in the sense of people not believing you.

And I totally agree with you that cishet women are also at fault in this case. They want to hide how they invalidate and promote prejudice against sapphics with “we’re also a minority, don’t put the blame on us, cishet men are the ones you should really blame”. And that’s just not true. Sure, cishet men are also to be blamed, but cishet women are still in power comparing with sapphics, they’re still the oppressors when it comes to being cis and straight.

#stephanie answers #anon #long post

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the-sappho-of-lesbos · 3 years ago

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I don’t say this in an accusatory tone or like I think anyone is a bad person or to be blamed. Just a guess on what I think is happening based on what I’ve seen.

You know you see a lot of people say oh I wish wlw media was like mlm media or I wish it was as good as etc etc.

I’m thinking maybe part of the issue (and I’m not a gay or bi man so I can’t speak on how this makes them feel and I won’t try to ) but from what I have seen m/m media is consumed in average by a larger audience. Bi women, lesbians, gay men, straight women, bi men - in a general sense it’s “likeable” and “enjoyable content” for a large group of people. And yes there is definitely arguments of fetishisation going on in some cases. I feel like that’s a whole other thing as well though and I don’t know if I’m really qualified to talk about it. But I definitely recommend it.

But then in general when you talk about f/f fiction on average the only people consuming it the most are women who are attracted to women. Like obviously that’s not a hard and fast rule but it seems to be disproportionately more noticeable that the main consumers of it seem to be bi and lesbian women. And again , this isn’t a bad thing necessarily because I get it, but on TikTok and stuff you see SO many people say “I just relate more to mlm fiction because I’m mlm, so I just don’t read wlw”

I mean I guess that brings into age old debate of are men the default , you know the like a universally relatable character that more people can relate to , but women are only relatable to women. Is that something that’s happening here or ? Honestly I don’t know lol. And again I’m not blaming anyone or saying anyone is wrong, just a thought I had.

But at the same time I get it too sometimes. Like I feel like I have higher standards when it comes to lesbian fiction compared to gay male fiction. And I feel like a lot of people feel that way too. And I can’t explain why that is. Is it because lesbian fiction doesn’t have the foundations modern gay male fiction has, so it’s still finding its roots? (And again there is a whole discussion on that around straight women creating the modern foundations of what’s expected in currently traditionally published gay male fiction - which I don’t feel super qualified to talk about it).

I don’t know lol. I don’t know where I was going with all this. Just something I’d been thinking about

#this genuinely isn’t me getting angry or blaming anyone #I’m just word vomiting into the abyss lol #lgbt #gay #lesbian #personal

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milfzatannaz · 2 years ago

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Someone else adding onto the Hob thing here-

yeah, I like his character, and I’m a firm believer in ship and let ship or whatever, but it’s just becoming really irritating to me how I can’t scroll the tag anymore without being bombarded with the Hob x Morpheus stuff considering how little screen time they had, like I wanna see some lucifer and mazikeen content

Also something about the fact that there is so much canon queer rep in the show, particularly wlw and poc, yet the majority of the show fandom is focused on the non canon hot white dude ship like hmm something something fetishisation of conventionally attractive gay couples something something

SO TRUE BESTIE. Your last paragraph is SOOOO TRUE bc yeah. the fetishization of a non canon white dude ship. It happens in every fandom, but like, it’s extra annoying here bc so many of us read sandman BECAUSE it’s got wlw and (more so the show) has got people of color. I hate watching them get sidelined!!!!!!!! What the fuck!!!!!

I have a hypothesis that this is mostly bc a large amount of show ppl are strictly in these spaces because of Good Omens.

#answered

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thesiriusmoon · 3 years ago

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Harry Potter ships I truly hate

Disclaimer: I’m not telling you who to ship and whatnot, I’m just expressing how awful these ships are to me and then explaining why.

1. Harry X Draco

Now this is coming from a former drarry stan who before, hadn’t read the books. I thought Draco ‘had no choice’ and ‘just wanted love’ until I opened my eyes and saw the character for who he really was. That is a spoiled blood supremacist who hates muggleborns, and is loved by both of his parents. Draco bullied Harry. Although Harry fought back, it was because he was the victim and had to defend himself. Harry never went out of his way to hurt Draco, but Draco did it constantly. Draco and Harry would never work because Harry hated Draco just as much as Draco did him. You could ship Harry with so many others that wouldn’t be toxic such as, Ginny, Cho, maybe Hermoine (but I prefer Romoine), maybe even Ron if you want to. (I don’t ship Harry and Cedric because the ages are too weird). It’s so obvious throughout the entire book that Harry didn’t have romantic feelings for Draco, he only ever thought he was doing bad things, seeing as he was a bad person. Harry found love in Ginny in like the fifth book? Which is when the crush started, and no one else was in the picture for him once he began dating Ginny. In conclusion, Ginny is the one he married and had children with, not Draco, because he hated him and wanted nothing to do with him as he was nothing but a bully who hated muggles and muggleborns. Seeing as Harry is a half blood, and his mother was muggleborn, why do you think Harry would turn around and be like “oh he’s just broken I’ll fix him.” And ignore everything Draco ever said about his family???? That’s such a toxic thing to think... because believe it or not, in a relationship you’re supposed to be with someone you like as a person. Just because you may find Draco attractive, that doesn’t make him a good person!! Harry would never choose Draco over anyone for that matter. If it were between Ginny or Draco to be saved, you better bet on Harry saving Ginny.

2. Hermoine X Draco

I genuinely hate this ship with my entire being. It disgusts me. This isn’t an enemies to lovers, this is literally bully X victim. Hermoine didn’t fight back, meaning Draco was the full oppressor and she was the oppressed. Draco is a blood supremacist who called Hermoine a mudblood constantly and hated her, and the feeling was mutual from Hermoine because why would anyone like their bully? Falling in love with your bully is a book trope, that doesn’t happen in real life. When Hermoine was being tortured in Malfoy Manor, Draco stood and watched because he didn’t care, meanwhile Ron, the boy Hermoine was attracted to and loved, was screaming and crying begging for him to take her place so she would be protected. That’s true love, something Hermoine and Draco will never have. I really will never understand why so many people love shipping victims with their oppressors... like do you get a sick kick out of it by babying the oppressor? Saying things like “oh he’s just unloved” or “he can change!” When none of that is true. Draco chose to be who he is, which is a blood supremacist and was loved by his family, and Hermoine chose not to ever engage with him because of his personality and attitude. Draco hated her, and everyone else like her because of their status, and overall, Hermoine just isn’t attracted to him. Hermoine is attracted to Ron and he’s the only person I can see dating Hermoine because everyone else would be a bit strange. Dramoine is unbelievably toxic, and all it does is romanticise abuse. “Oh Draco only bullied her for 7 years because he was afraid to love her.” Stfu. You’d never hurt someone you love. Draco bullied her because he thought he was ABOVE her, and she was nothing but dirt on his shoe.

3. Hermoine X Pansy

When it comes to fanon, I still don’t understand why it gets shipped because in order to do that, you have to change Pany’s entire personality to the point where it’s not even Pansy anymore. It’s just some nice girl with the same name. Because the real Pansy bullied Hermoine and made it known how much she didn’t like her. Not only that, but Pansy was head over heels for Draco. This isn’t an enemies to lovers, this is shipping the bully with the victim for some weird reason... because Hermoine didn’t fight back just like Hermoine X Draco. If they were both at each other’s throats I could see your enemies to lovers, but that’s just not what this is. If you ship them because you’re looking for a wlw ship, why not take a look at Ginny X Luna, Lavender X Parvati, or even Tonks X Fleur, rather than picking the toxic ship that would never ever work and would only hurt Hermoine. Ron Weasley exists for a reason. Again, shipping someone with their oppressor is a very weird thing to do. For example, Ron is a pureblood, but Ron wasn’t prejudice towards muggles or muggleborns, because he’s a decent and normal person. Pansy and Draco aren’t decent people, and they bullied people. Really there isn’t much else to say as all canon stuff about Pansy is about her bullying people, and encouraging people to capture Harry because SHE’S A BLOOD SUPREMACIST THAT’S ALL SHE IS. Hermoine is a strong and independent woman and would NEVER date someone prejudice like that, she has standards.

4. Lily X Snape

We have to stop with this “she can fix him” mentality, because women don’t exist to fix men. Either Snape was a good person, or a bad person. He should be able to choose that himself. Which he was actually, and he was very clearly a bad person. You can’t force someone to be attracted to another. Attraction forms on its own, and it’s something Lily never had for Snape, they were only friends. To say that Lily owed Snape something because he liked her... is so wrong and disgusting. If she doesn’t like him, she doesn’t like him and Snape should fucking move on instead of obsessing over her. But, Snape overall was a creep so you can’t say “oh he made a mistake” when that man knew EXACTLY what he was doing. Ripping Lily’s happy photograph of her with her husband and baby, and taking the letter she wrote for Sirius who Snape could pretend she did that for him. Literally disgusting. Even the friendship was toxic. When reading I realised that Snape played the victims card a lot when talking about the marauders as if he wasn’t doing WORSE thing to them. Lily knew that Snape wanted to join Voldemort, as seen in the books. ‘You and your previous little death eater friends — you see, you don’t even deny it. You don’t even deny that’s what you’re aiming to be! You can’t wait to join you-know-who, can you?” Then she says “I can’t pretend anymore, you’ve chosen your way, and I’ve chosen mine.” Lily PRETENDED that Snape wasn’t going to be a death eater because she didn’t want to believe that her own friend would hate her kind so much. Though once reality hit her she was gone and was never coming back. To ship someone who was oppressed with the oppressor is so weird and wrong, and I genuinely think you’re strange if you do that 😐. Snape already didn’t like Lily having other friends... so what does that tell you about what kind of relationship they would have? A manipulative one and an emotionally abusive one. James Potter was a pureblood, and not once did he ever bully someone for their blood status. He did things to Snape because Snape was a prejudice piece of shit and deserved it quite frankly. I would have done the exact same thing. Remember, the Potter’s were ‘blood traitors’ and Snape was a blood supremacist, of course the two aren’t going to like one another. But the difference is, Snape bullied innocent people (laughing at the fact Mary MacDonald was subdued to dark magic) and James fought back for those without voices. Getting revenge for people who couldn’t do it themselves. That’s the difference between a bully and a hero tbh. There’s no way Lily would ever date a death eater, she’s a strong woman who can make up her mind for herself rather than having people on the internet say things like “she was brainwashed!” And things like that. She became attracted and fell in love with a respectful man who would never cause her any type of emotional or physical harm.

In conclusion, I will judge you if you think shipping abusers/oppressors with their victims is ok in any way.

If you made it this far, feel free to comment or reblog with your own opinion. Just know that my opinion on these ships will never change because they’re all extremely toxic whether you like it or not. That’s just common sense. It’s canon that Draco, Pansy, and Snape were horrible people who liked to make fun of others. Fanon doesn’t mean a single thing in this because fanon isn’t real. If you have to change the entire personality of someone so they aren’t abusive... what does that tell you about their character? A lot of people do this because they like how a character looks, which is so tone deaf. If you think a victim should date their oppressor because of looks... I’m judging you heavily. If a character is wrote to be abusive, I don’t understand people do fan art of them with the people they hurt in a romantic way.

You might say I’m being over dramatic, but really it’s not that hard to understand that you shouldn’t romanticise abuse or say that oppressor X victim would make the perfect couple just because of their looks.

Would you ever ship Neville with Draco? No you wouldn’t. And it’s not for the reasons you would think. I bet if Neville was conveniently attractive (in the books, I love Matthew.) people would have shipped him with Draco despite Draco mercilessly bullying Neville for 7 years. A lot of people would have made excuses like “Draco was broken!” In order to be able to ship two attractive men together. (Which also plays into fetishisation of lgbt+ couples I think...) This fandom is rather toxic when it comes to this, and they’d rather ship a very abusive relationship with two conventionally attractive people rather than a loving one with two people that aren’t.

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quillsink · 3 years ago

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who's chandler bestie?

BESTIE YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE JUST UNLEASHED

So you’ve probably heard of Friends right, the 90s american sitcom everyone’s watched, this shit

So Chandler is one of the characters in this show! He’s the dude on the left :D

So his full name is Chandler Muriel Bing and he’s played by Matthew Perry! He’s one of the main six friends in the show and he is very hot and also he’s very gender

So basically he grew up in a pretty weird household—his mom writes trashy novels with a ton of sex stuff and earns money from that. When he’s ten, his dad comes out as gay and his parents get a divorce—his dad fucks off to LA and basically becomes a drag queen, and his mother dumps him in a boarding school and continues writing novels!

Chandler meanwhile is insecure as fuck, desperate for any sort of approval or affection, and now fucked up by his parents splitting up! At age ten he starts smoking to cope, and he struggles with smoking his entire life

Due to his parents splitting up bc his dad was gay, he subconsciously associates being gay with the shit his parents pulled on him and turns out to be a homophobic piece of trash

Oh also as a kid he frequently walked in on his father in weird sexual situations with men and also his dad used him for dance routines and stuff—It’s a bit unclear and he doesn’t mention it often but it’s clear Chandler’s childhood was fucked up and his dad wasn’t the best—

So yes anyways to cope with all this he became really sarcastic and also funny (he’s so funny lmao) but yeah! He’s known for his humour and sarcasm

Anyways he goes to college and befriends Ross Geller, who’s the brother of Monica Geller, and her best friend is Rachel, and that’s how the gang begins to form!

Chandler’s really insecure so he basically clings to Ross lmfao, he also sucks at dating and all that shit (I theorise it’s bc he saw his parents relationship go to hell and he’s scared smth similar will happen to him) and anyways yeah he gets through college and he gets a job as a data processor!

Chandler doesn’t rlly have a job he hates or loves he just works as a data processor lmao

Anyways-

So after college he moves into an apartment across Monica’s and Ross has a house nearby, and Phoebe, a girl Monica meets, becomes her roommate, and then Chandler’s looking for roommates and he meets Joey Tribbianni, an actor, and they become roommates :D This is Chandler and Joey (i ship them lmaooo)

Anyways did I mention Chandler is fucked up and bigoted-

So yeah I like to ignore canon and pretend he’s bi and trans and just live in fanfic universe but unfortunately in canon Chandler is quite fucked up!

He makes a few transmisogynistic jokes, calls a man a “man slash woman” when he wears makeup, the typical stuff, also low-key homophobic, and also lesbophobic (ugh) he’s the typical cishet guy fetishising wlw yknow that guy? Yeah that’s Chandler and I hate it. He’s the type of guy to be homophobic and then watch wlw porn and I’m going to hit him over the head with a chappal istg yeah he’s fucked :/ He had so much POTENTIAL i hate canon so much i’m just gonna binge read gay chandler fics and pretend he wasn’t a piece of shit lmao-

I totally see Chandler as bi and very repressed, 99% of the fandom does, he was written to be gay but they made him straight at the last minute ugh

Reasons why he’s gay-

Have you SEEN him and joey together HAVE YOU SEEN THEM OH MY GOD

When his coworker thought he was gay and tried to set him up with a guy he found out who the guy was and immediately said “well, he’s no Brian,” (another guy) and proceeded to say he could totally get Brian to date him

He kissed a guy in a bar once and when Ross brought it up he was like “In my defence, it was dark, and he was a VERY PRETTY GUY!”

He comments multiple times on attractive guys to the point where the girls stare at him weirdly

One example is when he sees a pic of a guy Phoebe shows him and goes “WOOOAH” and then immediately goes “dont tell my girlfriend I said that-”

Come on this man is Not Straight

Anyways I sorta went on a whole rant about him lmfao, but yeah that’s my boy Chandler!!

#ask ink #arya my overprotective older sister #chandler bing #tw smoking #tw homophobia #tw transmisogyny #tw lesbophobia #tw fetishisation #long post

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bisexualsdeservebetter · 2 years ago

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BL is guy-on-guy Japanese media. Short for boy's love. I've watched a lot of "activists" who claim to be for LGBT people say that any guy-on-guy stuff will always fetishize gay/bi men, even if it's men who enjoy it too. BL tends to be more geared towards women, but that isn't to say men don't enjoy it either. The men who like bl/geicomi (gay comics) tend to get treated as "traitors" for their enjoyment. There's a very big cultural component with LGBT women enjoying that kind of stuff. Japanese context, I mean. There is the stereotype of women who have looked at gay/bi men as something to fulfill their shipping fodder, but I really do think that can be fixed with more socialization. And those girls thinking that's how real gay/bi men work. Unhealthy dynamics, yadda yadda. It's a matter of separating fiction from reality, I suppose? And the stereotype of those girls is them drooling over a gay couple irl, waiting for them to kiss. "Oh, this is just like one of my animes!" If I can paraphrase Hal from Metal Gear Solid. I'm summing things up and probably not doing a good job of it. Sometimes those girls are just starting to realize things about their own sexuality. Doesn't exactly excuse them, but I've seen guys get creepy about gals on that side too. Real gals, I mean. Does that make sense? While I personally wretch at the whole "male gaze theory" and stuff like that...at the end of the day, those characters are fictional. What truly matters, I think, is how you treat real people. Treat those as you wish to be treated, y'know? That's how I've gone about it. Dunno how it'll work for you, Nonny.~From an older bisexual weeb-ass woman who enjoys bl/geicomi/yuri/straight stuff and who has seen some shit since the early 2000's to the BL anon girl.

Ah, I see. Thanks for the clarification.

I mean, I don't think that women fetishising mlm relationships should just be swept under the rug like this. This sort of feels like you're just trying to say that it isn't really a problem, when it kind of is. Like I do think that some stories of people like that are exaggerated, but that doesn't mean that fetishising mlm or wlw relationships is like, an okay or good thing to do.

Basically, if you are very very invested in a group (especially a minority group) that you yourself are not a part of, why? Why are you so fascinated? What specifically is it about mlm relationships that non mlm are so invested in? Usually when it's wlw relationships being fetishised it winds up devaluing the relationship and putting it 'not on the same level' as hetero relationships. It's treated like it's just entertainment (generally for hetero men) who just think the idea of 2 women is hot even though they don't actually view that as a valid or 'real' relationship. I think that the fetishisation around mlm relationships in fandom spaces, which I usually see coming from hetero (although sometimes bi, apparently) women is kind of the same thing on a smaller scale. In a lot of fandom areas mlm relationships get treated like their only real value is as entertainment.

Frankly fetishisation of mlm and wlw relationships is just kind of another flavour of homophobia. That being said, it obviously isn't inherently fetishising for a woman to enjoy some mlm content or a man to enjoy some wlw content. It's just when it becomes like, very close to an obsession, or like the only sort of media that you're interested in that it becomes problematic.

The way the last anon described her feelings felt kind of off, and idk if I just misread or something, but it sounded like she said that even though she's a bi woman, she feels liberated by only mlm media which goes against gender norms and toxic masculinity. Well.. why not also wlw media? Why not women who go against gender norms also..?

Tldr, I'm not saying it's wrong or bad for someone to enjoy stories about people who are not the same as them, it's fine to do that. But when you become obsessed or very enamoured with a group of people that you are not a part of, you really need to ask yourself why.

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thedreadvampy · 3 years ago

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aaaaarghhhhh just thinking about my comic script and realising that the plot point that made me Mildly Uncomfortable But Felt Probably Ok in 2015 is like. about the worst possible idea from a 2021 perspective. so I'm going to need to rethink the whole script again if I ever want to use it

like. It's a noir tragedy and part of the story is adapting The Bacchae, which involves a powerful man trying to break into a space of wild women in order to spy and destroy it, dressing as a woman, being exposed by his inability to act like a Fucking Person, and being torn apart and destroyed.

and I had it as a musing on lesbophobia and cishet men's fixation on queer women as a symbol of both fetishised sexuality and horror and the ways that that (in my life and others) has manifested in violence, with like a cathartic murder and then ultimately a tragic ending touching on the criminalisation of survivors. But it did retain the element of Pentheus dressing as a woman to enter women's spaces and assault women, and I tried very hard and worked with some pals who are trans women to try and make sure that my script and thumbnails draw a clear distinction between Pentheus the man-entering-a-woman's-space-deceitfully and trans women who are just Being. like half of the protagonists are trans wlw, I tried to be explicit about the difference between what Pentheus was doing vs what the women he was targeting were doing, I did my best to avoid transphobic tropes about like drawing Pentheus as a Stubbly Invading Man In A Dress and all the ~good trans women~ as being Perfectly Feminine, and the story I was telling intended to be pretty explicit about the fact that people prefer to twist the truth to frame the actions of cishet white men as a reason to exclude marginalised people.

so like, it isn't that I hadn't noticed the issue in 2015. and part of the reason that I haven't carried this work forwards over the interceding few years is that it is very much About Bigotry and some of that (misogyny, homophobia, ableism) is in forms I've experienced but a lot of the stories are About racism and transphobia and homophobia against men specifically and as someone who doesn't experience that I think it's risky to write those stories unless it really is being done Extremely Right and very carefully and with a lot of discussion.

but. In 2015 I thought this was justifiable. six years later with TERF rhetoric and policy so absolutely mainstreamed I don't think there's any way to do the Bacchae storyline in a way that isn't open to TERFery. however explicit the story is about trans women having an entirely deserved space in closed wlw communities I can't think that there's any way to handle the image of a man dressing up as a woman to spy on and assault women that doesn't play into the utter bullshit ideas that are unfortunately mainstreamed about The Trans Menace. even if you're explicit about that person not being trans even if every part of his story is very clear about his cisness and his motivations it still fundamentally comes back around to the image of a man in a wig pretending to be a woman to invade spaces that are closed to men. which is fucked.

and idk it sucks a bunch to have to yeet this whole script. there was a lot I really liked in it and of all the stories in Underworld Blues it was in many ways the most personal for me, it touched on the joys of queer community, polyamory, of defining womanhood in your own ways, and very directly on the ways that power and spite and entitlement can absolutely destroy that. like the story I wrote was very about My Trauma (me me me it's about me) and the frustrating thing is that honestly the beginning and end points I think are salvageable, but I'm not sure how I'd reconstruct the story to include the ideas about safe and unsafe spaces and the treatment of wlw spaces as playgrounds for straight cis men with an expectation of power while excising the bits that are. a) kind of grossly gender essentialist by accident, implying that the problem with men is that they're The Enemy rather than that some cishet men are socialised to entitlement and b) feeding into some EXTREMELY transphobic ideas about gender expression as costume and about the deceptiveness people associate with that idea.

like six years ago I talked this through with trans friends and we discussed the need to feel able to (carefully) risk writing problematic shit and being prepared to be held to account but ultimately it seemed justifiable. it doesn't now. if I could think of a way to get Pentheus from point a) which is 'the Gay Parties Are A Threat To Our Ordered Society I'm Going To Spy Creepily On Them' to point b) which is 'Pentheus attempts to take advantage of what he percieves as a consequence-free environment to do what he wants, Is Rightly Shot Dead' while retaining the stuff I want it to say about gender, queerness, power, judgement, sexualisation and rape culture, I would. but I'm. not good at original plot points that's why this is an adaptation of Greek plays.

so. idk. this thing might need to go off the backburner and in the bin for now. which sucks.

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gettin-bi-bi-bi · 4 years ago

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I read your opinion on the porn stuff that it doesn't really matter what kind porn you're watchinga nd doesn't define your sexuality(I'm explaining it really badly sorry)

I might be wrong but isn't that kind of fetishizing the sexuality in the porn

Like if a straight girl is into just wlw porn or just mlm porn isn't that kind of fetishizing those relationships just for getting yourself off???

No. Just no! Honestly that word “fetishisation” is being thrown around on this discourse hellhole of a website by people who have no idea what it means.

There is nothing wrong or inherently bad/harmful about someone getting off to porn that doesn’t “match” their own gender and sexuality. You cannot fetishise people btw. A fetish is when you experience sexual arousal or gratification from things that are NOT other human beings and their primary or secondary sex organs. Like... getting horny from looking at pictures of feet is a fetish bc feet aren’t sex organs. Being turned on by leather is a fetish.

Experiencing sexual arousal from seeing other people have sex is NOT a fetish by definition! And even if it were then ask yourself where the fucking problem is with that? Why should people not be allowed to watch whatever pornographic material they enjoy watching - assuming that the performers in that material were consenting adults.

A straight girl rubbing one out to gay porn doesn’t have any effect whatsoever on the countless of gay and queer men who will never even know she’s done that. Finding it hot when you see other peopel fuck (regardless of their genders) doesn’t say anything about how someone treats queer people irl. You can be a straight person watching lesbian porn and be the biggest ally ever. You can never watch lesbian porn and still be a homophobic asshole.

Not to mention that a “straight” person watching queer porn? Miiiiiight not be as straight as they think. So let people watch whatever the fuck they want. It’s not harming me or you as a queer person what someone else does in their private life.

Maddie

#Anonymous

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bondsmagii · 4 years ago

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I'm pre-emptively wincing but.... what's the slenderverse tea

alright. so.

recently it’s come to light that the creator of a Slenderverse video series the name of which has something to do with a certain number of tribes is an unmitigated piece of shit. basically he’s been doing the usual bullshit that assholes like that do when they get any kind of influence or power: he was grooming minors and sexually assaulting people. now, I hate the guy, and I have since 2012, so I never doubted it considering some of what I saw even way back when 🅱ribe12 was first starting out, but you know how it is. cancel culture, a lot of people do tend to stretch things... I thought it would be a few messages, more of him being a fetishising creep, etc. and it was. but it was also so, so much worse. I won’t go into detail because it’s nasty, and the accusations are pretty graphic in their detail and there’s a lot of screenshots of him being an unholy jerk, but I’ll link the megapost at the end for anyone wondering.

on top of the assault and grooming, he’s also highly inappropriate when it comes to his massive list of fucked up fetishes, which are incredibly messed up (z**philia, b*stiality, inc*st, etc). he also apparently has a fetish for trans people, which he’s pretty explicit about, and the whole thing is just :/ yikes. he was out there sending graphic messages about this stuff to people, including trans people and minors, and also people who had told them they were uncomfortable with it. he was also a shitty friend in general, trying to scam people out of money, worrying more about losses to his Patreon account when a donor was considering suicide, etc. generally everything you would expect from an entitled asshole, but somehow so much worse.

honestly? I feel so bad for everyone affected by this, both his victims and the people who have to come to terms with the fact that someone they respected turned out to be a complete asshole. it’s extra frustrating because I saw the warning signs in 2012, and I have always hated this particular creator. my beef started when 6x2 Tribes had just begun and I saw a lot of plagiarism going on -- a lot of things were ripped off directly from some Hornets That Have Been Marbled, and I was pretty vocal about how shitty that was. this lessened pretty quickly, probably due to backlash (the creator later said it was just a “homage”, but like... dude, that would not have passed TurnItIn) but I always had a bad feeling about him because someone who can do that so shamelessly always sets off my asshole vibes.

I kept a close eye on him after that, and I quickly saw him saying a lot of inappropriate shit on Facebook. the way he interacted with fans skeeved me out -- it was clear he was using them for an ego-boost, for validation, and just generally to make himself feel important. the way he would also bully newer fans for being too cringe or whatever also set me off, and I yelled at him a few times for that, as well. finally he made this gross post about shipping, where he said that mlm stuff grossed him out but wlw stuff was OK because it was hot, and I knew from that moment that he was going to end up grooming and probably assaulting people. I even said to some friends at the time that this asshole displayed the exact kind of power-hungry arrogance that predators always had, and I’ve been waiting for something like this to break with profound dread. now it’s blown up and it was so much worse than I thought it would be. I’m so glad that he’s no longer active and hopefully he’ll just disappear and stay gone, but I really wish that I’d managed to get more people to listen way back when. the only problem was that he hadn’t done anything serious enough by then, because so many people would defend him and he would just say he was joking or it was taken out of context, and unfortunately you can’t persuade people to give up something they love just because you have a hunch. but man, was I right about this dickhead.

megapost of all the accusations, statements, and screenshots (Reddit link). warnings for just about everything you can think of.

#messed with the names so hopefully this doesn't show up in any of the tags #anon #asks

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beclynn-herondale · 4 years ago

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Thoughts on Cassandra Clare ? Are u pro cc ?

dear Anon,

So I am gonna start this out with I wouldn't say I am pro CC,

do I enjoy her writing? Yes

Do I think she does ignorant and hurtful things? Also yes

Do I think it is okay to criticize her In a non hateful way? Yes, i don't approve of hating on someone that's something you can never take back, nor do I support pulling people apart cause let me tell you it fucks people up I have experienced this it is one of the worst things you can do to a person, you make them doubt everything about themself and for some you can fuck them up mentally and it can lead to more extreme measures.

Criticism doesn't need to be hateful or mean, it can be civilized and educational instead, in my opinion we need to educate and explain why it's wrong not hate them or cancel them that's not gonna solve anything, it's not gonna erase what the person said or did, you're only causing more pain and hate and let's be honest there's enough of that already.

Do I agree that she doesn't handle her POC well? YES

Do I acknowledge she said some islamophobic things? YES

Do I agree she may fetishises? Yes

Do I acknowledge she mistreats her wlw ships? Yes but also I do understand that LGBTQIPA+ rep is harder to get in cause publishers can be assholes and the world is still not as accepting of LGBTQIPA+ as we wish it would be.

Do I think it's wrong that most of her POC are half white? YES, and she needs to acknowledge it and give better representation.

Do I think her incest fetishization is wrong? YES, but also I wish you all would stop bringing Clace into this I have my reasons on why I love them but also keep in mind they were teenagers who Valentine manipulated and tried to take away what they loved most, he saw how much they loved each other and used it to try to destroy them cause he knew how powerful they are together and that together they could take him down, but also he saw that he was losing control over Jace and an abuser can't stand that, I know cause I have abusers and everytime I do something that's out of their control they do something to get it back. I saw through it from the beginning and maybe that's why, but it was never a story about incest, was some of it wrong? Yes but also they loved each other so much and you can't just stop loving someone with the snap of a finger, if you did then It wasn't really love, it would be lust, so the fact that Jace and Clary never stopped loving each other proved how much they did love each and that it wasn't lust. Listen I'm not saying it was right or that CC handled it well but I am saying that I get Clace and Valentine knew what he was doing, also CC is who you should be criticizing, as you can see Clace is actually later on a healthy couple and we need that for Heterosexuals just like we need healthy mlm and wlw relationships, the world is so negative right now so why do we have to make it more negative?

So instead of focusing on the bad parts (I'm not saying to not acknowledge them cause I do, but i also acknowledge people grow and change ) let's focus on the good parts as well like how much they love each other, Jace showed me that I can heal from my abusive past and that I can love and be loved in return. They showed us to never give up. Jace showed us Family isn't Blood. Clary showed us that you can be both a warrior and still be whatever hobby you like. Even Simon said in City of Heavenly Fire that they are a team and that's development and in my opinion what a relationship should be. Emma Carstairs said that they are girlfriend and boyfriend but also best friends again an important part of a relationship. Let's acknowledge the fact that Jace went from and Ignorant, angry, broken, mentally unstable boy to as he says a happy man and he isn't who he was at 16, he has grown a lot and it's time to acknowledge it, you wouldn't hold other characters to their past mistakes so why do you do it with other characters? And yes in order to acknowledge the growth we need to acknowledge the mistakes but I have done that myself and I love Jace cause he wasn't perfect, he wasn't automatically a the best person, he had to grow, he had bad qualities and that is human, and I don't think we are gonna hate people for being human? Jace showed abuse victims they can be happy and heal. And honestly I hate how I have to explain personal things for people to understand how important he is to me, and I am tired of hearing how I should find a different character to love this much cause Jace is shit, well I will say I am very much like Jace so i guess I'm shit too then, but also I have sadly tried to not but I can't help but love this character cause he came into my life when I was not great and I needed him and he's always there for me in my darkest moments along with Clary, I could be having a panic attack and guess what I see fanart of Clace and I feel better and it calms me down. Also of it weren't for Clary's bravery I would have had something really bad happen to me recently but because I remembered how brave Clary was and still is I made the brave decision and saved myself from bigger trauma then I already have. Recently Clace is one of the only things keeping me going. So just be respectful and try to understand. Also again it wasn't incestuous. Also when you say Jace is terrible it makes people like me who love him and relate to him feel evil and like we are terrible people for liking him, at least for me it does, i am constantly doubting myself after someone told me Jace is shit and a terrible person. Keep in mind when wording things what you are saying and how it will effect others. (Please be civil about this and remember that we all interpret the story differently, I saw things a lot of people didn't see) also we need to keep in mind that TMI Gang were all teenagers except Magnus and Alec and Alec was a young adult at the time, when they all went through all that stuff and had to save the world, they had to things Teenagers shouldn't have to do and make decisions they shouldn't have had to, and let me tell you as someone who has had to do things as a teenager that I shouldn't have had to, it sucks and you don't know how to feel about it or how to act about it.

Do I think some of her POC are stereotyped? Yes, but also some people like the characters for that, and some see other things in them that. I am no way saying your opinion is invalid, you can be offended and hurt by the stereotyping and feel unrepresented, that's your right. And I really do hope she does better in the future, cause I want POC to feel as represented as i do, and you all deserve it.

No CC's books are extremely important to me, but I can also acknowledge she can be problematic, but everyone can in their own way, and sometimes we need to be called out. So we should criticize her in a none hateful way. Hate Breeds Hate.

And do I think she should give her LGBTQIPA+ couples explicit scenes? Yes but I can understand how CC may not want to mess it up and maybe she is trying to handle it right, and publishers don't always allow LGBTQIPA+ explicit scenes. CC did have to fight for Alec to be Gay in the time she was writing him. Am I hoping for better rep? YES!! And maybe TLBOTW will give us that but I don't know.

Also even if you don't agree or don't understand, Listen To POC When They Say Something Is Racist! Hear their opinion and take their opinion and thoughts into consideration.

I would also say to stop whitewashing characters and find models, actors/actresses, singers, that are the same race and ethnicity and use them for reference for art and edits, and writing descriptions in fanfics and books. Educate yourself on it and ask people, get other prospectives.

But no I wouldn't say I am Pro CC but i am not Anti either, I acknowledge her mistakes and ignorance, I acknowledge her mishandling of POC and wlw and her problematic ways. But I also enjoy her books, I can criticize the author and still love the books.

So in conclusion Listen to POC when they say something is Racist and take it into consideration. Acknowledge that you may not know why someone loves a character, and respect them. Try to be more sympathetic towards others. Remember you can criticize the author and still love the books. Educate yourself and try to learn. Try to understand others. Ask yourself if what you are saying is the right way to be going about things. Just try to be nice and respectful and listen, try to see where the other person is coming from.

( again like I always say you don't have to have the same opinion and you don't have to agree that is your right however you can be kind and respectful and civil)

( I will add more later )

#tsc #the shadowhuter chronicles #cc #cassie clare #cassandra clare #tmi #the mortal instruments

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